#rb to read later

[starstrike]

Mithrun's desire as an SA analogue

TW discussion of SA and detailed breakdown of aesthetics evoking SA. The way I discuss this is vivid in a way that may be triggering, though there is no discussion of actual sexual assault. Just survivor's responses to it.

People relate to Mithrun and see his condition as an analogue for a few different things, like brain injury or depression. And I think all of them are there. But I also see Mithrun's story as an SA analogue, and Ryoko Kui intentionally evokes those aesthetics. I think it's a part of Mithrun's character that a lot of people miss, but I very much consider it text. This is partially inspired by @heird99's post on what makes this scene so disturbing; so check out their post, too :)

So to start off with, the demon invades Mithrun's bed, specifically. There's even a canopy around it, which specifically evokes this idea of personal intrusion; the barrier is being pulled apart without consent or warning. The way the hand reaches towards Mithrun's body from outside of the panel division makes it almost look like the goat stroking over his body. It's an especially creepy visual detail; similarly, the goat's right hand parts into the side of the panel as well. It's literally like it's tearing the page apart; but gently. So gently.

Mithrun is in bed. It is his bed that the demon is intruding on. He's in a position of intimacy. The woman behind him is a facsimile of his "beloved" that he left behind; the woman who, in reality, chose Mithrun's brother. He is in bed with his fantasy lover, who is leaning over him. While this scene isn't explicitly sexual, it is intimate. And it is being invaded. The goat lifts Mithrun gently, who is confused, but not yet struggling.

The erotics of consumption and violence in Ryoko Kui's work(remember that the word 'erotic' can have many different meanings, please) are a... notable part of some of her illustrations. I would say she blurs the lines between all forms of desire: personal, sexual, gustatory and carnal, in her illustrations in order to emphasize the pure desire she wants to work with and evoke to serve her themes. Kui deploys sexual imagery in a lot of places in Dungeon Meshi, and this is one of them.

In this case, horrifically. The goat's assault begins with drooling, licking, and nuzzling. The goat could be enjoying and "playing with" its food. But it can also be interpreted as it "preparing" Mithrun with its tongue as it begins to literally breach Mithrun's body. The goat also invades directly through his clothing; that adds another level of disturbing to me. There's nothing Mithrun can do in this moment of violation. Mithrun is fighting, but he is fighting weakly, trying to grip on and push away when he has no ability or option to. All he can do is beg the goat to stop. And it doesn't care. This all evokes sexual assault.

The sixth panel demonstrates a somewhat sexual position, with Mithrun's thighs spread around the goat's hunched over body. In the next, the goat pulls and holds apart Mithrun's thighs as he nuzzles into him. The way the clothing bunches up looks a bit as if it has been pushed up. It has pinned Mithrun down onto the bed, into Mithrun's soft furs and pillows. It takes a place made to be supernaturally warm and comfortable, and violates it. It's utterly and intimately horrifying. To me, this sequence of positions directly evokes a rape scene. I think Kui did this very explicitly. These references to sexual invasion are part of what makes this scene so disturbing; albeit, to many viewers, subconsciously.

This is also the moment the goat takes Mithrun's eye. Other than this, the goat seems exceptionally strong, but also... gentle. It holds Mithrun's body tightly, but moves it around slowly. It doesn't need to hurt Mithrun physically. But in that moment, it takes Mithrun's eye. Blood seeps from a wound while an orifice that should not be pierced is penetrated. This moment, the ooze of blood in one place specifically, also evokes rape. That single bit of physical gore is a very powerful bit of imagery to me.

Finally; it is Mithrun's desire that is eaten. After his assault, Mithrun can find no pleasure in things that he once did. He is fully disassociated from his emotions. This is a common response to trauma, especially in the case of SA. It's not uncommon for people to never, or take a long time to, enjoy sex in the same way again; or at all. They might feel like their rapist has robbed them of a desire and pleasure they once had. I think this makes Mithrun's lack of desire a partial analogue for the trauma of sexual assault.

Mithrun's desire for revenge was, supposedly, all that remained. Anger at his assaulter, anger at every being that was like it; though, perhaps not anger. Devotion, in a way. To his cause. I don't know. But the immediate desire to seek revenge is another response to SA. But on to Mithrun's true feelings on the matter.

This is... So incredibly tragic. Mithrun feels used up. Like his best parts have been taken away. Like he's being... tossed aside. This certainly parallels the way assault victims can feel after being left by an abuser. Or the way assault victims feel they might be "ruined" forever for other partners. These are common sentiments for survivors to carry, and need to overcome. In the text, it's almost like Mithrun feels the only being who can desire him is a demon who might "finish devouring" him. That that's his only use. It's worth noting that Mithrun trusted the demon. Mithrun's world was built by the demon, and Mithrun, in that way, was cared for by the demon. I think this reinforces Mithrun's place as a victim.

There's also something to be said about Mithrun as a victim of his own possessive romantic and sexual desire. The mirror shows him his beloved just dining with his brother, and it infuriates him. He doesn't know if the vision is real, nor if she has really chosen his brother as a romantic partner. The goat then creates a whole fantasy world where she loves him. As Mithrun's dungeon deteriorates, she is the only person that continues to exist. Mithrun continues to have control over her. And that is the strongest desire the demon is eating, isn't it? There's something interesting there, but I don't know what to say about it.

In conclusion, I think Mithrun's story is an explicit analogue for sexual assault-- though, certainly, among other things! The way the scene plays out and is composed explicitly references sexual violation and invasion of the body. His condition mirrors common trauma responses to sexual violence. And, at the end, he finally realizes he can recover.

Let's end on a happy Mithrun, after taking the first step on his journey to recovery :) You aren't vegetable scraps Mithrun. But even if you were-- every single thing in this world has value. Even vegetable scraps.

[silcoitus]

Reminder to please, please, PLEASE put your fics under a Read More. You can absolutely have a teaser at the top, but for the love of all things holy please slap that baby under a Read More. Don't subject the dash to a crazy long fic they gotta scroll through.

[shoyostar]

original pinned

[ ARCHIVING! ]

hi hii so,,, after a lot of thought and contemplating i think it’d be best for me to archive this blog </3

i came to tumblr nearly a year ago and it’s been fun but now i’m drained + uninspired, n i js have so much stress n negative emotions associated w this blog that now its time to leave and maybe start anew ?

who knows! :>

i’ve gone back and forth with if i should delete my works here or not bcs ik lots of people love them but they’ve js been a constant bad reminder to me and i’m not proud of most of them anymore :<< but as of rn i’ll be leaving them + this blog up!!

(may change in the future but i’m scared of the deact button LOL)

js kinda being on here stresses me out and its no longer fun so i hope that by doing this i can have some peace + you still get to read my old stuff :3

i started this blog js before my first year of uni and i never expected to stay this long on tumblr honestly,, like i was js gonna post a bit for fun n delete my acc LOL but i’m vv thankful for the almost 2k of you who stuck around and enjoyed my writing ^_^

youre all vv sweet n i wish i couldve provided more writing on here for yall to read before archiving this blog TvT i feel like i have nothing here honestly LOL

if my blog does deact, i may repost my fics on my new blog but for now i js wanna be lwk on here and not have to worry abt updating so many series at the same time (so sorry to all dfh, vbs, loveholic ++ all other fans of my ongoing series :<< the stress to write and update is too much for me to handle 😞)

please take care of yourselves and i hope to catch you again someday if you find me !! :3

bye bye!

[faaun]

we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆

[taylortruther]

cnn not mincing words

[seven-winged-liar]

✨Happy Star Wars Day!!!!!✨

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid

[sanitizarium]

is this a safe space. i have a quastion

[ambrozians]

how jade & the harpers look according to my brain:

jade — skin is a warm tan, smooth to the touch. beauty mark beneath the corner of her right eye. wavy, black hair that stops just below mid-back, cut in layers for volume. lips are plush, usually painted with red or nude gloss. long eyelashes. green eyes with golden flecks that convey her emotions and thoughts better than words can. a small tattoo of a pink lotus flower on her left breast, and a faded scar on her sternum from vandal savage. lean, curvy build, but one cannot accurately gage her strength by looking at her, unless they’re prone to underestimate. gold hoops, gold bracelets, gold necklaces—all gold jewelry.

roy — sporting a perpetual tan, one might call him sun-kissed. auburn hair that lightens to ginger in the summertime, straight and pushed back by sunglasses. nose is crooked from one too many injuries. silver hoops or studs in his ears, depending on the day. eyes the color of a lake, blueish-green. light dusting of freckles on his skin, particularly his back. beard that tows the line between stubble and scruff. the physique of a rugby player; thick arms and legs but softer stomach, broad shoulders. several scars all over his body, most notably the bullet wounds & surgery scar on his chest. two tattoos: navajo one on his right arm and lian’s initials over his heart.

lian — face is her mother’s but younger, softened by lingering baby fat, and dotted with a light smattering of freckles. skin is a light, warm beige. hazel-colored eyes and full lashes. dark brown, nearly black hair with a brown balayage, usually tied back in a ponytail or braid unless at an event or hanging with friends. double pierced ears and a cartilage piercing on the left ear. she smiles like roy. athletic build, only a few inches shorter than jade but gaining on her. couple of scars on legs and fading bruises from playing sports (lacrosse, skateboarding, etc.). always has one headphone in her ear. combines metals when she wears jewelry.

[attroxx]

PSA.

from the 24th - 29th i will be out of town for a convention !! i will be setting up a little queue while i’m gone just so my blog isn’t a ghost town. so, until i get back i will not be writing cause yeah, i need the time away with friends and frankly i just want to enjoy myself and unplug from here a little. so anything i don’t get to ( asks or thread wise ) will be taken care of next week. i will still check in from time to time on mobile if i feel like it & will be checking discord ( softsalem666 ) so if you’d like to add me there than feel free to do so (: thank you all for reading ~

[byeler]

i’ve said this before but i really dislike guilt trippy posts shaming people for liking posts instead of reblogging them and while sharing posts is a fantastic way to encourage more (art/fics/theories/etc.) that you enjoy, you should never feel obligated to do so. at the very least for me, please don’t ever feel guilty about not reblogging something

[ciderjacks]

???..

[killscreen65535]

I'm not seeing anyone on my dash talking about John Barnett so can we talk about the fact that Boeing straight up murdered a whistleblower. Completely shameless in it too, like wow the circumstancing are fucking damning if you read about it for even five minutes on even the most mainstream news sources. This is some capital b Bad dystopian shit. Don't fly on Boeing's planes if you can avoid it!!! That fucker might just explode with you on it.

[reesescuffs]

Can we have @sytthewhale publicly executed, please.

[vigilskeep]

question for in the tags! if your warden wasn’t the warden, but was a dao companion instead, where on the map would the hero of ferelden encounter them? what’s their introductory cutscene and dialogue? how and why would they join the party?

[black-eyed-seas]

Hello! You can call me Sienna (she/her)

I’m a trans girl who’s only slightly obsessive about her interests :P

I like music, martial arts, weightlifting, and videogames.

Currently working on finishing my bachelor’s

Dm’s are open!

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Addendum:

Sissy/feeder/detransition/misogyny/nazi/terf blogs blocked on sight

Addendum: Probably a lesbian???

Addendum: just to clarify, this is mostly an rb account but i occasionally will yell about hapkido. Not rb’d will be tagged as personal or not rb probably maybe who knows

(Taken!)