#read this post still am not engaging

[totheidiot]

lord have mercy on me, i am reading be more chill fanfiction in the year of our lord 2024.

[vaugarde]

okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.

[cerealmonster15]

haikaveh... save me haikaveh...

i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........

i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fem-lit]

Ryan, Barbara. “BEYOND EMBARRASSMENT: FEMINISM AND ADULT HETEROSEXUAL LOVE.” The Centennial Review, vol. 37, no. 3, 1993, pp. 471–86.

JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/23739489.

[outlanderalien]

Not sure if I'm sabotaging my relationship or not but I feel like I'm in the right ? Perhaps ?

[blondiest]

girl help i lost sight of creating things first and foremost for myself and got overly invested in external validation therefore setting myself up to feel terrible about my works because i started looking at them too closely and became paranoid that they weren't good enough and that people would think they're stupid and—

i am going to be on here less and for a little while may be engaging with other people's writing a bit less as i try to get back into my own creative flow again 🥲 will still pop in now and again but i think being too tuned-in to everything has been making me a little insecure (<- a me problem; all of you are lovely and sweet) and with some added work stress i'm just!!! not engaging with things in a way that makes me happy or that feels particularly healthy.

honestly i feel strange even bothering to make a post about this bc Who Cares but i didn't want anyone to feel ignored if i am just straight not replying to messages etc for chunks of time. 🤝

[tenrose]

I hate living in this world.

[arcaneyouth]

fighting for my fucking life getting these comic pages done

[fideidefenswhore]

is there a way to make posts unrebloggable now or was that just a rumor?

[fxggotclown]

ive had so many moments where i see dungeon meshi fanart and think "did you even read it??" and after seeing quite a few that have captions like "i dont go here" i cant see most of the fanart without having that in the back of my mind.

[catgirledteach]

tw suicide and spoilers for the finale

i'm really trying to see the positive in the finale but it just sits sour in my stomach. again i dont want to get bogged down completely by izzy's death as there was so much else in the finale that i genuinely loved, but this event really gets to me for a specific reason

as someone who has dealt with suicidal thoughts in the past i am genuinely upset if this is how izzy's story ends. and even more upset that it seems to be framed as 'meant to be' and 'simply unavoidable.' the first three episodes REALLY drove home izzy's belief that he had nothing to live for - he wanted to die and he very explicitly tried to kill himself. and i was glad they portrayed that at the time and even more encouraged when in episodes 4 through 7 it seemed like he was recovering mentally and emotionally. he was portrayed as having found purpose beyond serving someone who didn't love him back, accepting parts of himself he was previously ashamed of, getting support from people around him, etc. it truly was reading to me like an incredible portrayal of someone finally valuing their own life that they had been so ready to throw away before now

and then all of the sudden in the finale it feels like all of that is ripped away. he repeatedly says he doesn't care if he dies, that he's ready to go, and it all feels so upsetting considering where he started the season. and yes i can absolutely see the argument that now he was dying for the cause of protecting the legacy of piracy, but was he though? was that necessary for them to all escape? and more importantly does that change the fact that izzy was still completely ready to put his life in danger again for the sake of other people's safety? part of the comfort of found family is also learning to value your well-being and safety the same way those around you do, at least to me. and his lines about being surrounded by family ring incredibly hollow when the family surrounding him doesn't seem to be upset by his willingness to sacrifice himself for no particular reason.

as someone who is in a far better place than i was two or even one year ago, this hurt and it hurt deeply and a story that once felt like a safe space is one i no longer feel like i can trust. even if a third season comes out (and at this point i think i would still watch it if it came out) i can no longer relax when watching because i can no longer have faith that there will be a happy ending for characters i believe deserve one.

olu says the line about jim in episode three, 'we're best friends. family. someone i'd like to see grow old just like all my other friends.' to me this means i want to see my friends, my family, die in peace in their own time. the audience is watching a supposedly comforting romcom and one would assume they want to see the family that's been built onscreen have happy endings. i know it may sound extreme but it feels like a betrayal. personally it felt like the story was telling me, 'this is the only way it could have ended for izzy. he wanted to die because he was convinced he would never live happily and in the end he was right,' and luckily i'm at a point now where i refuse to believe that's true. that someone can go so far down their path of self hatred that the only way for their story to end is in their untimely death. and in a way i'm glad that i'm as upset as i am because it means i do not buy into that narrative for myself. i still value every other positive lessons and introspection this show has given me, but this is certainly a misstep that i don't know if i can ever truly forgive, and it has certainly tainted the story forever for me.

[kk-dirge]

looking for paracosm-related blogs to follow :0

hi! i meant to post this a while ago but alas i got distracted

i recently found out about the term paracosm / the whole madd/immersive daydreaming thing on tumblr and i’d love to follow more people who talk a lot about their paracosm(s)!! you dont have to make mutuals i just love hearing abt others stuff of that regard!!

you can like / reply with a sideblog link and i’ll check ya out!

as for me, this is my main blog and not paracosm exclusive (i always forget to update sideblogs so everything is dumped on main), but i’ve been posting about my para pokeau for like 8 years at this point sdfgh i just recently found out there was a word/community for it! it’s a pokemon au that’s gone wildly out of control (theres rabbit people now)

[americiumam]

(complaining in the tags)

[satsuki-yumizuka]

trying to word this in a way that isn't like super inflammatory but i can't so im gonna say it like this. i think if you HAVE to look up the meaning of a work immediately after reading it you should not be allowed to discuss it

[dashiellqvverty]

calling myself a former rpf fan is so misleading bc “fiction” had nothing to do with it. even when i did read fic i was never even all that into it and i didn’t really get much out of it it was ALL about reading those primers and manifestos and analyzing lyrics and watching videos/interviews/etc

[harmonicaorange]

there is no reason a tiktok romance book needs to be more than 350 pages