Okay but Tommy drops out of high school — he told his father he was gay and he told him he could either be homeless or go to military school. He goes to military school and joins the army and he likes flying the helicopters because it means he doesn’t have to do any of the killing himself. And he makes some friends.
There's one guy who's like the squad leader who's a few years old and built like a Greek god and Tommy's young and a little bit in love. And they're friends maybe even family because this whole group of people spend every waking (and sleeping) moment together. And they all talk like a family and they all say they love each other and tease each other and it's nice. And one night it's just the two of them trading a flask of some sort of alcohol that Tommy doesn't know the name of and the man asks Tommy why he joined the army and where he wants to be in five years and Tommy trusts this man. He's half way in love with him so he doesn't even think twice before he tells the story about the time he came out to his family and his father nearly beat him to death before sending him here. And the conversation tapers off after that and he doesn’t register the change in the air but when he wakes up the next morning he’s being dishonourably discharged because he poses “unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability”. He knows what that means.
Tommy joins the fire department because he doesn’t know what else to do. He represses anything regarding his sexuality because he knows now that it’s wrong. He almost feels like he has a family again because his captain seems to like him and some of the guys are cool even if they say things he doesn’t agree with. And then he starts agreeing because maybe they’re right and he’s wrong and he’s just inherently wrong. So he follows their leads and is just straight racist because that’s how he can fit in.
And then a black lesbian woman joins and says she’s a black lesbian woman and Tommy doesn’t understand that either because you can’t be queer you just can’t be because it’s wrong.
But he nearly dies and and an Asian man saves his life and a black lesbian woman comes up with a better idea than any of them had and she tells them she’s no different and she is just as capable. So he improves himself he does and he tries to be better but he still can’t be who he is because the last 2 times he was honest about that he was betrayed.
Tommy leaves the 118 and “don’t ask, don’t tell” is lifted and he meets this guy he likes who likes him back and the 217 don’t seem to have a problem with the gender neutral pronouns and he slowly but surely lets himself open up again and be who he is and when the thing with that guy doesn’t work out because he’s moving to New York and Tommy’s not sure he’s ready to leave, it’s okay because his crew is there and they support him and he can still be himself.
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Genuinely, one of the main things that keeps me going these days is romanticizing the small moments—ones I have already experienced and ones I wish to experience in the future.
Waking up on the weekend and going to brunch with my friends. Reading my book by the rainy window. Trying out new cafes and meeting new people. Bundling up in a cozy blanket to watch my favorite movies. Reading and writing whatever I feel like. Looking up at the moon and dreaming. The lovely lazy feeling of sleeping in and taking a nice shower in the morning. Debating and discussing literature, philosophy, and life with those I care about. Watching the wind make the curtains dance softly along the wood floor. Watching as autumn comes rolling in. Learning new recipes to try and having my friends over for cooking and wine nights. Finding a new author who I end up adoring. Falling in love with a simple glance. Watching the sunset turn my home into a warm, comforting space. Finding the next perfect outfit at the thrift store. Smiling at strangers. Writing a poem about the random barista I end up falling for way too quickly. Wearing my favorite warm sweater on the first cold day of autumn. The sound of a thunderstorm at night. Hot coffee on cold days and cold coffee on hot days. A good night’s sleep.
These moments make life worth living.
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we dont talk enough about how close kaisoo’s birthdays are
theyre quite literally the fated pair 🥺
theres only a single day separating both of them on January 13th which means all kaisoo supporters have a set day to celebrate their cute relationship :’)
the only thing that would make it better is if they were born in the same year! but i will pretend its like that because kai is kyungsoo’s gift 😌
if i was an astrology nerd i swear i would have so much to say but im not into that so.. well ITS FATE OK. the universe said so!
ok im done but really it’s brushed over too much, what other kpop ship has the perfect middle date 🥺
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