#really I think the secret is I'll just never live up to my own standards. And should stop

[twilightarcade]

whaj twould u draw comic abt

well like everything ever. And other stuff of the sort.

Tangent but like comics specifically because. I suck at writing. It's great! Pretty cool! But I'll never achieve the required eloquence I want. I can pour my heart out on a page all day but that will never be telling a story like I'd like it to be, at least ast long as its short.. also I love visual media especially. Something a teacher would call a visual learner. Both mediums obviously require a lot of care but with comics it feels more like I can skip right to the "meat" (as an english teacher would call it) of the story? Like alright we have some guys they're doing some stuff and I don't have to sit here agonizing over how to describe this guy and what they're doing, I can just.... beam it directly into your brain. How cool is that. And you can add like.... whatever the hell you want. Want a giant rainbow going through half the page? BAM you got it. With writing you can't really do that

Tangent OVER. Honestly anything I can't write really (literally everything). Though, to narrow it down a bit, small scenes that a can't quite capture in writing regardless of how much I try. I don't think I would ever like... make a whole comic series or anything. Moreso use it to capture super specific emotions in a way that doesn't just feel like I'm pouring my heart out on a page with no real motive (but secretly is). I suppose the goal here is to make my feelings consumable or whatever. Capture them into a neat little page that other people can read and go haha at

[neerons]

Some of Clavis Lelouch’s best quotes + Cyran's bonus quotes

"Tell me, Emma, what do you think is the best way to wake someone who's really bad at waking up? (...) That's right, you stab them." (—Clavis talking about Chevalier to Emma)

"Finding such a handsome man in your room is enough to leave anyone breathless. Take your time. I know I'm easy on the eyes. (...) Oh, nice reaction! There's nothing like a good AHHHHH to get me in the mood."

“I didn’t do anything. But next time, don’t be intimidated by these status-crazed nobles. You don’t owe them anything—not even a smile. If someone looks down on you, look down on them in return. Otherwise, your self-worth will start to plummet. Never abandon your self-respect just to calm the situation. I know you’re a wonderful person—I wouldn’t have chosen you as my wife if not.”

"You succumbed to delusion."

"You weren't paying any attention to me at all. I got so lonely, I almost died!"

"...I want to make love to you."

"I'll tell you a secret about Chevalier. You want to know right? I bet you do. (...) He likes romance novels, but the reason for that is... Me. (...) One day, I secretly added to his pile of books... I put a book that boasted its dewy, spicy romance in the pile."

"Haha! When you're as handsome as I am, you look good no matter what state you're in. You just need better understanding of aesthetics." (—Clavis to the "Obsidianite soldier")

"Haha! You don't need to apologize. Who says only kids are allowed to be bouncy? What's wrong with adults being genuine about loving the things they love?"

"Oh, the things you say! Don't you realize you threaten to unleash the beast that hides behind this gentleman's visage?" (—Clavis' thoughts about Emma)

"What a fool I was to think I was done falling in love with you. The depths I could fall for you seem endless."

“We can do it on the table, or by the windowsill again, if you like. Ah, but I don’t recommend the floor—not unless you’re into that.”

"I would never allow my lovely fiancee to live a life of fear. And so I must take it upon myself to indulge her in a life of joy." (—Clavis' thoughts about Emma)

"Wait, wait, wait! (...) Chevalier, you cannot possibly be trying to replace the words 'I love you' with that one kiss. (...) Why else would Emma have dressed up so beautifully? It's all so she can hear you say those three words! (...) Yes, not all things need to be said, but there is a purpose in giving words to feelings. That's how you can bring them into the real world. Chev, you can't let Emma guess how you truly feel forever. Just tell her. (...) The average person can't read minds like you do. Don't assume that Emma knows everything just because you do." (—Clavis to Chevalier, in Chevalier's route)

"I'm charming, aren't I?"

"Here you are, alone in a secret room with a handsome prince. Why are you only interested in those lifeless husks? (...) That's a little offensive, you know."

"Haha! Go to hell." (—Clavis to Chevalier)

"Goodness, I've never visited that bookstore, and to think it was hiding a gem all this time..." (—Clavis' thoughts about Emma)

"Dear me, it looks like they started running the second they spotted me. Haha! That's optimistic of them. " (—Clavis talking about Yves and Licht to Emma)

"You could at least call it artistic. My handwriting conceals talent that would surpass that of a genius artist. (...) It's readable. So long as you take the time to decode it! Haha!" (—Clavis to Jin)

"Ah... Hahaha! I can't believe you headbutted me! You should've slapped me, at least."

"There's no rule that says you have to drink alcohol once you come of age. That said, it might be more romantic to let you get drunk and then take care of you until you sober up. Wait here, I'll just get some—"

"Of course, I'm not trying to criticize your own personal standards for good and evil. But throughout our lives, we're constantly being confronted by our perceptions of good and evil. And there are times when we might regret it later, if we decide to be critical of something simply because 'it's evil'. Our own individual standards for good and evil may not always be aligned with the kingdom's standards for good and evil. And if that happens, wouldn't you want to remain true to your own standards? To what you believe is good and right?"

"So you're comfortable drinking. I'll keep that in mind." (—Clavis' thoughts about Emma)

"(...) I'm well aware that of all the princes, I was the one most loved by his mother. Although I suppose it's not really a surprise, given how adorable and cute I was. (...) Haha! Why are you apologizing? There's no rule that says we can't talk about the deceased. And there's no need to feel guilty, either. I'm not some silly child who gets all worked up just from thinking about her." (—Clavis talking about his mother to Emma)

"I love drawing attention to myself, you know that. I wanted everyone in the palace talking about me, so I made it seem as if I'd gone missing." (—Clavis to Sariel)

"...You're surprisingly sweet on Emma, aren't you?" (—Clavis to Chevalier)

"Well obviously, because I like rabbits. And from what I know of rabbits... They may seem aloof, but they're actually very sweet and loving, and if you're lucky, they'll even let you see that side of them. I think they're adorable. And despite being delicate and easily frightened, they won't run from anything—they'll stand their ground and put on a brave face. I can't think of any other creature that instills in me such an urge to protect them. You see? Everything about them is lovable." (—Clavis talking about Emma secretly)

"But that's why Rhodolite is so well-balanced. If we all agreed with Leon, the kingdom would constantly be in danger from outside. If we all agreed with Chevalier, it would end up a dictatorship."

"You're about the only person who willingly visits the brutal beast's lair."

"Just so we're clear, this doesn't even count as a setback to me. I've tasted defeat countless times at the hands of a brother more beastly than anyone in Obsidian. I've never once made the right choice. I'm a loser, constantly making mistakes, and constantly being laughed at for them. (...) When you fail, it's easy to give up. It's easy to think your ideas are wrong, and yield to the right choice. But this is what I do. Every time I fail, I get up again, and I fight even harder, so that next time, maybe I won't fail. I don't care about what's right for the kingdom. I stay true to what's right for me, and that's the only way I've found any meaning in my life. Even if what I believe to be right and true is actually wrong, and even if I'm called evil and wicked for doing what I do... I'll fight against the brutal beast's methods with everything I have in me. And I'm not going to die until I've made him kneel before me, and accepted that my beliefs are just as righteous as his are. (...) And since I've spent my life tasting nothing but defeat, I think I can declare this with some certainty. So long as you go on living, you'll never really be a loser. Because there is no such thing. Even if you lost this time, you just have to win next time to be the winner. And if nothing else, you'd be able to die a prouder man than you will now. (...) Today's failures will lead you to tomorrow's hope. Always, as long as you don't give up. And that's why I'm going to get up and try again. What about you? Are you going to die a dog's death here?" (—Clavis to the "Obsidianite soldier")

"What a shame... Were my hands not bound right now... I'd already be making love to you."

"Haha! Not a chance. I adore her." (—Clavis denying disliking Emma to Gilbert)

"I've always tried to be a gentleman, and live by the tenet that women are free to come and go as they please. But with you, I find myself wondering whether I should be using handcuffs, rope, or maybe a strong net."

"All right, then, I guess I'll just have to slip a few weapons into your luggage to help celebrate your departure. At the very least, I've already included a shovel." (—Clavis helping Emma escape from Obsidian)

"My brother is an absolute genius when it comes to angering people in just about every way possible. He outclasses us all in that, too." (—Clavis talking about Chevalier)

"Dearie me, don't tell me you're here for a secret tryst with my brother? I never imagined this unsociable beast might finally have his sexual awakening—" (—Clavis talking about Chevalier to Emma)

"(...) It's a water jet device designed to keep you cool in sultry summer evenings. I made it expressly for you. Isn't it brilliant?"

"The only people he could hold a proper conversation with were those who faced him head-on." (—Clavis' thoughts about Chevalier)

"(...) I don't care about me, but I don't think it's appropriate to be pointing guns at a woman, do you?" (—Clavis protecting Emma from 'someone')

"You really are gorgeous... I'm so captivated by you... that I feel I might forget how to be a gentleman for good."

"You could tie me down any day, my lovely fiancee."

"Ah. Hello, insecurity. I had not missed you at all. If I want to make my lovely fiancee happy, I'm going to need to start being more confident." (—Clavis' thoughts)

"You're so beautiful when you're watching something with rapt attention."

"How could you treat your kind little brother like this, when he worked himself to the bone trying to keep your library nice and tidy? I'm going to tell Emma on you." (—Angry Clavis to Chevalier)

"Well, first, I'd love to be able to pamper you in the bathroom. I want to wash your hair and gently exfoliate your skin so it's super soft. (...) Next, I want to hire a famous artist to draw a portrait of you than I can hang on my wall. I want one so big it'll cover the entire thing. Maybe I'll even get a bunch of you drawn. Seeing lots of you while I work would be good for motivation. (...) Also, I would love it if we could change up how we say good night. Every day, before bed, I want us to say 'I love you' instead of just 'good night'. (...) Oh, it's also my dream to go on a trip around the world with you! I just want to explore new sights with you and kiss and cuddle you in new places."

Cyran's bonus quotes:

"(...) Prince Clavis lies incessantly, so feel free to ignore everything he says. (...) Everything. You've no need to be worried about his feelings, or even keep him company. And it might be in your best interests to refuse to eat any of this." (—Cyran talking about Clavis and his cooking to Emma, in front of Clavis)

"You're still half-asleep, aren't you? You're a disgrace." (—Cyran to Clavis)

"When we finally catch up to him, I think we should team up and give him a good scolding!" (—Cyran talking about Clavis to Emma)

"Since you left me behind like that, I've decided to hold a grudge against you forever. (...) Do it again and I'll throttle you, master or no. Just so you know." (—Cyran to Clavis)

"My Lady, I'm afraid that Prince Clavis's plan is truly stupid. A prince in his right mind would never even plan such a thing, and the average person would recoil in shock at the very idea of it."

"Prince Clavis, you can't just go casually tossing your head in her lap like that. My Lady, you're more than welcome to slap him awake at this point."

"(...) despite all that, there was one fool prince who stormed into the camp where the prisoners were being held. Yep, I'm talking about the idiot prince currently sleeping like a babe in your lap."

"From the way he acts, it's easy to mistake him for a fool and a scoundrel, but... at heart, he's the kindest, most compassionate man I've ever met." (—Cyran talking about Clavis to Emma)

"...So where is he, this handsome man? (...) ...You're a total mess right now, you realize. You look dreadful. Want me to get you a mirror?" (—Cyran to Clavis)

"My Lady, I truly am sorry, but... I've been ordered to inform you that, and I quote, 'your prince is in grave danger and needs you to rescue him! Ahaha'! (...) ...He insisted I include the 'ahaha' at the end." (—Cyran delivering a message from Clavis to Emma)

"Very well. I'll inform him that you said to die in pain and agony." (—Cyran talking about Clavis to Chevalier)

"Really? Are you sure? Ahh, this is great, it means I can get away from my troublesome master for a while. I look forward to serving you, My Lady, and I'll do my absolute best for you!" (—Cyran replying to Clavis' order to be Emma's personal bodyguard)

"My Lady, you're the sort of person who worries constantly about other people, without ever thinking about yourself. Like at the party, when you tried to protect Prince Gilbert from that guy with the knife. That sort of thing."

"...Farewell, my peaceful days."

"...Stay strong, my lady. I know exactly how you feel, but know that I am cheering you on."

[socialfakes]

crossing enemy lines -connor bedard-

part 3: just a little longer

nhl players x platonic hughes sister

connor bedard x hughes sister

series masterlist

Liked by jackhughes, mackinnon29, lhughes_06 and 296,009 others

y/nhughes | to my very pretty, dominant golden retriever boyfriend; i love you so much ❤

view all comments

jackhughes you're too young to have a boyfriend | y/nhughes you had a girlfriend at 16 years old. how is 21 too young? | jackhughes it just is 😏 | y/nhughes the double standard here is ridiculous

trevorzegras our very own baby hughes is dating someone? | y/nhughes yes sir 🤓 | jackhughes but she's too young. tell her she's too young | trevorzegras sorry dude. we have an understanding | y/nhughes trev is now my favorite

lhughes_06 he's such a golden retriever but he makes you happy so i'm okay with it | jackhughes who is he? | lhughes_06 🤐 | jackhughes 🙄

_quinnhughes how can my baby sister be talking about any guy being dominant? you're too young to be using this language | jackhughes exactly | lhughes_06 oh leave her alone. she's happy. we should be too | _quinnhughes i'd be happier if i knew who it was | y/nhughes in due time, good brother | y/nhughes on another note, i think luke is my favorite brother now

bboeser he better be good to you 👑

tdemko30 baby hughes has a boyfriend? congratulations 🥳

user8 love seeing my favorite hughes sibling happy 😃 | y/nhughes awe i love you

user17 this is giving me major cale vibes | jackhughes what you mean? 🤨 | user17 he's the prettiest boy & he's 100% a golden retriever who seems like he can be dominant when it's needed 😊 | y/nhughes 🤐🙊🤫 | calemakar_ 😋😊 | jackhughes i knew it!

calemakar_ am i really the prettiest boy you've ever seen? 😉 | y/nhughes duh of course 😉

user12 i think they're messing with us

user14 who is this about?

user5 i know who this is about | y/nhughes 👀 | user6 how did you figure it out? | user5 intense detective skills 😂

user9 really hoping this is about cale

elblue6 glad you're happy honey ❤

user19 if he's a golden retriever, he's automatically the best

Liked by jackhughes, _connorbedard, calemakar_ and 319,408 others

y/nhughes | golden retriever ✨💕

view all comments

user3 cale's shadow

jackhughes is he the reason you haven't visited me in a while? | y/nhughes course not 😊 | _quinnhughes it's because you're annoying 😊 | y/nhughes quinn, that is not the reason. i've just been busy with work but i promise when i have free time, ill be there to see you jack ❤

user14 dying to know who this is | user5 it's cale | user9 definitely cale | trevorzegras actually it's not 😊 | jamie.drysdale it's me, of course | y/nhughes it's none of you 😂 fuck off

_quinnhughes whoever he is, i hope he treats my baby sister with love and respect because i'm not afraid of getting my hands a little dirty 😠 | y/nhughes oh quinny i love you ❤😂

user6 it's connor | y/nhughes what makes you say that? | user6 you live in chicago and once said you prefer "centers" so i did some digging & came up with a bunch of evidence & unless you're dating a blackhawks center who's a lot older than you, i'm 90% sure it's connor | y/nhughes impressive skills, but i never said i was 'dating' a center. just said i prefer them over any other position 😊 also never specified he played for the blackhawks | user6 touche

lhughes_06 he better be keeping his hands to himself | y/nhughes oops 🙊🙈

tdemko30 lovely couple actually | jackhughes how do you know who it is but i don't? i'm her brother | y/nhughes awe is jacky boy upset? | jackhughes obviously 🥺 | y/nhughes learn how to keep a secret & i'll tell you more stuff 😊

user12 can we get a hard launch soon? | y/nhughes of course 🥰

nhlblackhawks we love his increase in points as of late 😊

user7 is he a captain? | y/nhughes nope 😊 although captains are notoriously hot 😲🔥 | user7 so it could still be connor | user15 or now that i think about it, could be nico since she's pretty close to him 🤔 | y/nhughes 🤷🏻‍♀️

user9 ugh i just know he's incredibly cute 😭❤

trevorzegras oh whatcha watching? | y/nhughes no idea. he picked it 😂

lukasreichel44 hi 😊🌸 | y/nhughes hi hi 😊🌸 | lukasreichel44 i miss you 🥺 | y/nhughes i miss you more 🥰

rutgermcgroarty cute 😋 | y/nhughes you're cute 😋

mackinnon29 this has got to be cale. that looks exactly like his bedroom 😂

taglist: @worldlxvlys @fearfam69691

[who1ssheesh]

If you're still doing it I can't wait to see the prompt with squalos s/o being buds with Xanxus 😂

Squalo's S/O being buds with Xanxus

Pairings: Squalo/Reader, Xanxus/Reader (PLATONIC)

Notes: yes. absolutely. i live for those two idiots. This one is long af compared to Xanxus' one and I can't explain why. But I had so much fun with this, Xanxus is a soulmate in a bro-ish way????

Warnings: good ol swearing, brief mentions of sex (not much really), probably OOC and terrible english (ur not my teacher ha ha)

• First of all, holy shit that’s impressive?

• Second of all, must be mentioned that Xanxus kinda….doesn't see women as friends? He looks at them sexually right away. Or so he thought

• Third of all, Squalo gotta be terrified

• Fourth of all (that's a lot of counting) Squalo situation is not having any drama as Xanxus' does, he is a pure comedy gold and so is his relationship with you. That's what no daddy issues does to you, but what do i know

• Not comedy as if a clown comedy, but a good harsh bri'ish comedy - insert Utopia reference. Squalo is more than confident in you since you obviously date for some time for him to move in with you and therefore reveal you to his boss.

• I'll tell you a secret btw, Xanxus probably guessed he has you because Squalo is a loser cuck and started to act differently.

• I think Xanxus doesn’t give a shit enough to just bust into Squalo’s apartment for any stupid reason as if it’s his own. So if you at least haven’t heard of him as your boyfriend’s boss, you’re going to meet him in person

• Xanxus coming up and breaking your door just to nap:

🧍

• Squalo never told Xanxus where he lives, that bitch just knows

• Never in his life Xanxus expected to see one day a shmoll girl there and not hear screaming at the top of one’s lungs. He still says Squalo is a fucking virgin loser femboy ugly ass haha lol lmao, he can’t be deprived of those shitty jokes…

• I mean it, Xanxus can get pissed seeing you too being lovey-dovey but I'll expand this drama later

• Xanxus is basically your adopted stray cat, deal with it

• Squalo won't say this out loud or says this very...covertly and probably insults you along the way, but anyways he really appreciate you dealing with all that bullshit. He does indeed value strong character - you don't need to wield a big sword or shoot a gun, but going through his path even though you can be confused or scared means much. He knows a lot of cowards who can shoot a gun, so...Squalo looks much deeper than that. Shark, ocean, DEEP, get it<<<<<<</////??????? I'll see myself out.

• He is lowkey terrified but...also chill? Unlike Xanxus, he doesn't overthink (at least not much). He of course draws a line at some things - at first Squalo was really mad at his boss staying...alone....with you....at you house (he is jealous) cause Xanxus is immoral bitch and would try to fuck you if he wants to.

• Also is you start gossiping or making fun of him with Xanxus, holy shit Squalo is quick to start raging. It's one thing to gossip and laughing at some bud, but doing so about your partner is a huge red flag for him. If you have any problems. come straight to Squalo he is an adult and prefers just discussing problems.

• Well, Xanxus also will certainly not respect you for trying to spill out your bullshit on him and talking shit about his captain. He has standards. (And not because he is a little uwu girl and actually deep DEEP like ocean bottom deep cares about Squalo)

• “The fuck happened here?”, Squalo is on edge, to say the least, seeing stains of blood around the apartment and you cleaning it with a clearly annoyed expression

“So your boss-“

“My boss?!”

“-got over again”

“AGAIN???”

• So, the situation: Squalo, as a person who values trust in relationship the most, is really pissed (sad….) you’re keeping the truth away from him, and you, thinking he’s aware his boss is chilling around since…..well, Superbia is his right hand, makes sense?

• You didn’t know about their burning hate for each other. Gotta be jealous, his love to you will never be as true, fiery and emotional as his undying HATE!!!! for Xanxus

• You screaming “get a fucking room, deepshits” when they start arguing again

• You probably got Xanxus with an insult. Obviously. Sorry, you’ve signed a pact, nothing in your life will be normal again, just like your boyfriend (he’s a little unstable. Just a little)

• Xanxus haven’t been around your house for long - leaving more work for Superbia and leaving right after, quickly patching a quick wound and stealing alcohol, of course

• You’ve been quieter than a mouse, thinking you shouldn’t be involved in Squalo’s business, but one day Xanxus was noticeably not feeling good, ready to pass out, so…you helped him obviously

• Xanxus being Xanxus didn’t thank you, got pissed because air was too warm for his liking or smth and was whining that actually you did a poor job tending his wound

• “Bitch, I will kill you in your sleep?” sent him away, he honestly found this hilarious (we’re talking about your audacity here)

• You got a chuckle out of him, whick you didn't think about much at first, but a Squalo's shocked expression said everything. You can be proud

• Lowkey Xanxus doesn't separate you two together in his mind, you both are a one Superbia homunculus in his mind. Maybe that's why Xanxus with Squalo's s/o feels so....included for all three of you compared to other way around lol

• Even your jokes are on the same line istg

• Xanxus feels even...bittersweet.

• He is...kinda cautious? He knows Squalo is capable of getting out from the devil himself (remember how may times he "died" in manga lol), but you...well...he double checks every visit. Xanxus is very brutal and, unbothered and nonchalant but very smart. Makes sure no one is on his tail.

• Don't get me wrong, it's not in a sweet family way, but you kinda start having dinners together? Both are bitching around but you notice in the end they start having a human conversation instead of their regular unga-bunga

• Xanxus likes this

• Xanxus feels home

• Unlike Squalo, he can't show his devotion to save his life, so you just know there is a "useful friend of a friend that can solve some problems with a call". But I'll tell you, Xanxus will double-check if something is serious, not just throw problems as subordinates.

• Mafia is not flowers and sunshine. Those two have had a conversation "what to do if Squalo dies". Xanxus probably threw a glass at him and said to not be an idiot, but he didn't say no. You're the first person he can call at least an acquaintance, so...

• Well, that counts when we talk about older Xanxus, I'm sure he is mellowed out by that time (+ just enough time for you and Squalo to establish your relationship)

• He's not the type to get over at 2am if there's a problem lol. Maybe he can miss a call cause he's a heavy sleeper. But if anything, you have his subordinates at your place.

• He will teach you to drink. Will laugh his ass off when you fail to beat his ass at drinking competition again and Squalo is having a heart stroke on the background

• Xanxus will turn you in a copy of himself just to piss ofs Squalo lol

• You learning his mood by the intonation he says 'trash'

• Also you calling him janitor or sum in return. Varia horrified you dare to do this, and Xanxus laughing. He still shoots your way though...

• If you're not Italian, you MUST teach him swearing on your native language. Also tell him if there is any local alcohol (of course)

• "Yeah, I teached him coupla words", you laugh, looking obviously happy being a useful friend and having a surprisingly cozy chat with Xanxus.

Squalo is very confused by that. "What the fuck, but he DOES know this language already?"

• I'm sorry but so many sex jokes. Xanxus doesn't give a shit what you do there in the bedroom (until you invite him over ahaha joke unless), but he's going to be a little shit

• Xanxus is 12 yo btw.

• "Can you suck him off so he shuts the fuck up or smth?"

• LITERALLY LOOKING AT SQUALO "NO BITCHES????"

• This idiot fools around sometimes and throws 9-yo-school-bully insults lol

• "He said he wants to marry /insert random woman name/ when he grows up". 25+ y/o Squalo looking at him just:

🧍

• I hope you two have a cat. Xanxus will feed it. Raw meat and everything a fluffy boy shouldn't but it's Xanxus we're talking about. Literally a teenage edgy teen "ITS NOT A PHASE MOM" at your house.

• Naps on your bed ONLY to leave hiss smell of tabaco, whiskey and a heavy cologne. He 100% heehaws thinking about this - Squalo will NEVER be able to have sex if there is reminding him of Xanxus, like an instant turn off. You always try to complain to Xanxus about this absurd situation but start laughing to the point of crying, Xanxus becomes HYSTERICAL at these moments.

• He will teach you how to shoot. Usually he just drinks there and says you're pathetic while you try. But he keeps inviting you himself, so....Xanxus is a little sappy shit. You only use Squalo's photos as a target, so you get sad a bit and probably tell your boyfriend afterwards. He will say he wants to kill you both or smth.

• Xanxus bringing you ideas in your bed. "Hey so you can tie him up and beat to death as a foreplay".

• He will make you rank up bodies of other women he finds hot. Also if you're a girls' girl, Xanxus will ruin this completely. Basically like "just by looking at her tell be if she's a bitch"

• Xanxus enjoys if you talk shit about someone cause he is the same way.

• He will drag you into his shitty gang ideas. If Squalo could go gray-headed again, he would.

• Squalo looking at you both beaten up anf almost getting caught by the police: "why are you like this."

• To be honest, you may be having a serious talk with your man. Squalo is unironically worried, he did a LOT to keep you away from mafia but here you are. If you are very good at convincing (20 CHA lol), he can just a little bit become convinced that you getting hardened can be useful for mafia life "just in case".

• Also MAYBE he can notice the influence Xanxus has on you. Feminine clothes change to leather jackets and grunge, your knuckles even being bloody way too often, you may be smoking more frequently. Squalo is kind of chill with you finding you identity, but if you start wearing feathers in your hair HE LOOSES HIS MIND

• Xanxus will personally train you, if you ever discover your flame. They will have a fight about this with Squalo.

• Xanxus is proud of you tho. One day he will say this, I'm sure

• People know your bond, they know he does appreciate your opinion even in Varia business, and even anything happened he knows Varia is in the right hand - Squalo is more than competent and there is a little angry copy of himself so Xanxus' spirit always haunts Vongola till the end of time. hehe

• You are a badass little sis. He has never had a family, but that...feels nice.

[jae-bummer]

Just for Tonight

Request: 5 + hyunjin pls :3 and ty ! :3

Prompt:

5) “Let me call you mine, just for tonight.”

Pairing: Stray Kids Hyunjin x Reader

Genre: Angst

(**warning: language and steamy situations)

.

Having visitors early in the AM was not a common standard for you.

That is, unless it was Hyunjin.

Casually dating an idol was not on your bingo card for the year, but here you were, yanking open the front door of your apartment to usher in a man you never would have thought could acknowledge your existence.

It wasn't that you weren't worthy of dating someone who was a celebrity, it was that you assumed this particular one was much too expensive for you. Now, when talking about "expense," you weren't meaning that he spent large amounts of money. You were meaning that he looked expensive. His features, his movements, his aura. Everything about that man was extraterrestrial in the most enticing way (emphasis on the "extra"). He was walking art. No one should approach him in any capacity because no one was worth his time.

But then there was you.

He had admitted before that you brought a sense of normalcy to his world. The safety of your normal, little apartment. The stories where you talked about your normal job and your normal schedule. He craved these bits of your life, if only to live vicariously through them.

When he showed up on your doorstep, he looked like he could almost be normal too. With a hat pulled low over his eyes, baggy clothes to distort his frame, and a dark mask covering his mouth, he could be any person visiting their partner.

Only the two of you knew his secret...for now.

That's what he was here to talk about.

"What did the company decide?" you blurted before he even crossed the doorstep.

He didn't look up from his phone as he came inside, popping off his shoes as soon as he got past the entryway. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against the cold metal. "Is this really how you want to start?"

"If you don't tell me now, it's going to be all I think about," you said quietly.

It had been two days since an article was posted online about Hyunjin's dating life. Apparently, sources had leaked that he was dating a non-celebrity and had been for months now. They even had distorted security footage of the two of you leaving a 7/11 in the dead of night.

As soon as the news broke, Hyunjin was brought in for a meeting with his managers where he felt compelled to confess everything. It was then up to their PR team on how they wanted to deal with the situation. It didn't really matter what he wanted, and definitely not what you wanted.

If you could, you would keep Hyunjin tucked away from the world for as long as you could. It was selfish, but this was your worst fear. You didn't want the fate of your relationship to be in everyone's hands but your own.

Turning your back towards him, you muttered. "Quickly, please."

Hyunjin took a deep breath before starting, speaking as if he was reading a memorized script. "The company decided that it would be best to dispel any dating rumors. At this time in my career, it would be foolish to throw away what I've worked so hard for. Fans will not welcome the idea of me seeing someone, especially a non-celebrity. I'll be a weakness for the team, and I can't in good conscience let that happen."

You turned toward him, horrified. He looked back, a sad smile on his face and helplessness in his eyes. "They've asked that I stop meeting with you for the foreseeable future."

It felt like your chest was going to crack in two. Admittedly, you had both decided that you wouldn't put a label on what you had. You weren't dating seriously or exclusively, but it was unsaid. You had a bond and a love for each other that only grew more intense as the days went on. It seemed like a safety protocol to keep it casual, but in the end, it hurt no matter what you wanted to call yourselves.

"Fuck," you whispered, plopping on the couch. You weren't sure where to look, but it certainly wasn't at Hyunjin.

Biting his lip, Hyunjin nodded slowly. "Fuck."

"We should've been more careful," you croaked, on the brink of tears. "We should've ordered in and -"

"Y/N," Hyunjin sighed. Tilting his head, he smiled sadly again. "That's no way to live."

"It is when it's protecting you!" you squeaked. Dropping your face into your hands, you tried to focus on your breathing.

"You shouldn't have to protect me," you heard him say quietly. Crossing the room, he sat on the couch beside you and leaned his head on your shoulder. "I should be the one protecting you...and in a weird way, I guess that's what I'm doing."

"Oh yeah," you scoffed, popping your head up. "Breaking up will do such great things for me."

"Hey," he chuckled softly, sitting up so he could wipe at the tears sliding down your cheeks. "I really don't want fans to start meddling in your life too."

And that was a valid point. If you continued to date, how long would it take for internet sleuths to figure out your identity? And from there, how long would it be until an attack was launched your way? Your job, your relationships, your social life. Everything could come crashing down if your information got into the wrong hands.

You knew he was right, and you hated it.

"I'm sorry I dragged you into my mess in the first place," he said quietly. "It wasn't fair to you."

"Stop," you groaned. "I don't want an apology."

Hyunjin nodded, remaining quiet. You knew he was just as much at a loss for words as you were. However long your relationship was, it was one of the brightest moments in your life, and you never wanted to take that away.

"Normally when I'm dumped," you continued. "At least I get to be angry at the person who's breaking up with me. This time, I have to be mad at a whole corporation."

Hyunjin snorted lightly. "You can be mad at me if it makes you feel better."

"You're the last person I want to be mad at," you sighed. Looking toward him, you tried not to start crying again. "So this is it?"

"Probably for a while," he whispered. "Is it...is it okay if I still text you? From time to time?"

"I would be disappointed if you didn't," you smiled.

Pulling yourself to your feet, you tugged Hyungjin along with you. "Well, I guess we should rip the band aid off then."

Sliding your arms around his waist, you nuzzled your face into his chest. Without hesitation, he wrapped his own around your shoulders, encasing you in all that was Hyunjin.

"I'm going to miss this," he whispered into your hair. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you more," you croaked, leaning back to look him in the eyes. "It'll be okay."

He nodded, but you could see tears start to gather at his waterline. "Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"I know...I know you said you wanted to rip off the band aid," he started slowly. "And I assume that meant that I should leave quickly because it would hurt less...but..."

"But?"

"Can I be selfish?" he whispered.

Furrowing your brows, you looked up at him again. "What do you mean?"

“Let me call you mine," he breathed. "Just for tonight?”

It was suddenly very difficult to breath. Having one last night together would definitely break your heart even more, but it was tempting. One last taste of the man you never thought would be yours.

The last time he'd be tangled in your sheets. The last time you'd smell his cologne on your pillowcase. The last time you'd hear him tinkering in the kitchen, getting coffee ready for the two of you in the morning.

You had taken so much for granted before, not even realizing that it could all come to a grinding halt. At least if you had one more night, you could truly treasure those moments and commit them to memory forever.

It may make the pain even worse, but you didn't care. You were selfish too.

"It's going to suck so bad," you murmured. "But I guess it already does."

"I don't want to make things more complicated," he said quickly, but you immediately shook your head.

"Hyunjin," you said, your voice much more fragile than you wanted. "Please stay."

The response was immediate. Hyunjin's hands grabbed at the fabric of your sweater, balling it inside of his fists as he held your waist. Lips crashing into yours, and bodies swaying from the impact, you struggled down the hall to your bedroom, making sure no part of your anatomy broke contact.

It took only moments for the back of your knees to hit the edge of the bed and send you sprawling. Hyunjin climbed over you, familiar with the scene being played before him. There would be time later to go slowly and luxuriate in each other's attention. Right now was for fulfilling a need and a want so deep that it made you act on instinct alone.

He began kissing down your jaw and to your neck, causing small whimpers to escape your lips. The sounds only encouraged him, turning his gentle motions into ones involving teeth and tongue. As his mouth searched for your shoulders, he grew impatient with your sweater and started to yank it up and over your head. It wasn't long before he insisted that he wanted your skin against his, so he paused only to dispose his own clothing before carefully sliding your pants from your legs.

Kneeling atop the mattress, he looked down at you with reverence. His brow furrowed for a moment as he bit his lip and took you in. Reaching up, you tugged him closer before smoothing out the small line between his eyebrows. "You're not allowed to look conflicted. Not tonight."

"I wasn't conflicted," he said hoarsely. "You're just so beautiful that it hurts."

Your breathing hitched as he looked into your eyes. He wanted you to know that he was being sincere, and this was all as painful for him as it was for you.

Head bowing again, he caught your lips for a softer kiss this time. Using one hand for leverage, he used the other to cradle your cheek. The moment was so tender, you were certain you would just split apart when it was over. Breaking the kiss, he gave you another heavy look before moving his motions down your chest and stomach, only stopping to use his tongue when it suited him. Your small noises and gasps were his driving factor, so if he wasn't getting enough, he would work until his name fell constantly from your lips.

Settling himself between your legs, he glanced up at you with half lidded eyes. "Being away from this is going to be torture."

Reaching down, you pushed his hair behind his ears and gave a lazy smile. Your fingers quickly found their way to the strands at the top of his head, brushing through them once before grabbing hold. "Then make sure you give me something to remember."

.

[grassbreads]

Hi!! For the wip title tag game, can I know more about the XP and ZY mortality oneshot, Retrospective and Epilogue Dirkjake :>

Hi hi!! Thanks for the ask 😁 (context). I hope you're ready for three wildly disparate fics.

XP and ZX mortality oneshot

This is my current Tai Sui gen fic WIP! It's set during the extras, just a few years before Zhi Xiu passes away. It's about Zhi Xiu getting snowed in during an uncommonly severe winter on Flying Jade Peak and considering what he wants to do with the last bit of his life while Xi Ping feels Extremely Fine and Good and Normal about the guy he's lived with for a century finally getting truly old. It's a mix of lighthearted shenanigans, Extras-standard somber contemplations of mortality, and Zhi Xiu forcing Shiyong to confront his emotions for once in his goddamn life.

I've only actually written about 600 words of this one, and it's still untitled, but I have a plan for what the rest will be and I'm fairly excited about it :).

Retrospective

I think I've mentioned on this blog before that I have a long MXTX crossover WIP that I expect to never finish or publish and work on once in a while solely for my own self-indulgent joy. This is that. It's about all three MXTX leading couples (plus Moshang) being pulled into a crossover by the System and having to watch back their own life stories together. I love a good MXTX crossover, and I love fics where the protags that never tell anyone anything get their trauma secrets spilled involuntarily, so this is just me doing both of those at once.

It's written from SQQ's pov of course. For maximum chaos. It's also the origin of these jokes.

Epilogue (pre-meat) Dirkjake

This is another currently untitled oneshot WIP, this time based around the Homestuck Epilogues. It's about Dirk and Jake's final doomed hookup that we know took place sometime before the start of the epilogues proper. I'm unsure how much sex scene I'm actually going to include, as it's mostly about Dirk's mindset and how weird it is to navigate romantic and sexual feelings when you're halfway into becoming an amalgamation of every version of yourself across all realities (and most of those versions absolutely fucking suck). It's also about the absolutely unhinged morning after argument.

I don't know how familiar you are with Homestuck Ririn, but here's a small modicum of context for the insane relationship I'm talking about.

Since it's a crapshoot as to if/when any of this will get published, I'll go ahead and throw the whole short WIP of the Tai Sui fic under the cut, as well as smaller excerpts from the other two. Hope this has been interesting :)

Retrospective

Before Shen Qingqiu could react out loud, the man in red spoke up for the first time, his voice tinged with a teasing lilt.  “We have a king in our presence? What place in the North might you be from that I’ve never heard of you?” This San Lang really couldn’t have been more draped in red flags if he tried. “San Lang” obviously wasn’t his real name, and he’d stood impassive and uncaring through the whole process of introductions only to speak in such a way at the very end. A bad attitude to rival Mobei-Jun’s! Furthermore, even though he’d been introduced without formal name or title, he was obviously someone of some import. His boots and collar were draped in fine decorative silver, the sleek vambraces on his arms were hammered with intricate designs, and his whole bearing dripped the obnoxious confidence of someone used to being in charge. Plus, in terms of red flags, he was even wearing literal bright red! And to top it off, though his aura didn’t quite seem like that of a demon, there was obviously something off about him in some ineffable way. His energy was dark. Too dark! Wasn’t it a bit cliché to give the obviously evil guy a fucking eyepatch?

And another excerpt just for funzies:

Shen Qingqiu’s nose curled involuntarily. The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System? Seriously? Was that what the newly maidenly Luo Binghe’s story had been retitled to?? He hadn’t thought it could get worse than the trope-tastic Proud Immortal Demon Way, but that title was seriously pushing the boundaries of what could be considered literature.  Plus, why the hell did it put so much of the emphasis on him?? Wasn’t he the scum villain? And wasn’t the one the system had self-saved? Give the protagonist his due, would you? At least Airplane’s original title had known who to shine the spotlight on.  The sound of a clearing throat caught his attention then, and he turned around to see Shang Qinghua transparently trying to catch his eye as he spoke up.  “Is that voice seriously trying to imply that we’re all characters from novels?” That idiot. 

The Untitled Dirkjake Oneshot

The last time you hook up with Jake, you’re already more amalgamate than person.  Sex is a strange thing when you’re no longer limited to awareness of just yourself. It’s a strange thing when you can’t stop feeling the convictions of the parts of you that are thirteen years old forever and a computer, or the part of you that’s part computer and fused with two trolls and a cherub and squatting in the body of a cueball-headed puppet. Did Doc Scratch have a dick? You feel a flicker of Scratch-flavored derision every time you consider doing so much as jerking off, so you’re leaning towards no, but you’re not ready to cross that question off the list just yet.  Vague self-disgust and derision doesn’t actually stop you from jacking off, of course, but you’re definitely doing it less frequently. Who has time to crank one out when you’re busy realizing that the entire reality you inhabit is nothing more than a grand narrative made to entertain some unfathomable outside audience? Even focusing on the voyeurism angle can’t quite keep your stallions running in the middle of that dark night of the soul.  Point being, when Jake pins you to the mat and gets a hand around your throat on live TV one night, you’re more than a little pent up, not to mention more than a little out of sorts. You’re still in the thick of your ascension, undecided whether RUMBLE IN DA PUMPKIN PATCH will help or hurt Jake’s influence on Jane’s presidential campaign and even more undecided as to whether her campaign even fucking matters in the slightest. You’re distracted, not really giving it your all, so he gets you down in a way you rarely let him, even when you’re playing heel. 

The Untitled Tai Sui Oneshot

One hundred and two years after the advent of the spiritual energy prohibition, an uncommonly harsh winter struck Flying Jade Peak.  The Xuanyin Mountains’ spiritual energy had melted away by then, dissipating back into the veins of the earth and leaving the once eternally snow-bound peak no colder than any other peak throughout Great Wan. Its ground was lush with grass in the summer, and auspicious animals gathered around many planted beds of peonies and wine ingredients whenever the sun was high. A certain shifu had taken to forcing his disciple out to plant as punishment whenever he felt too sore to beat him, which ensured the gardens were tended frequently and well.  That winter, however, returned the verdant peak to its condition of endless blinding white and bitter cold. Even the mundane atmosphere, unburdened by any heavenly commandments’ meddling, could inflict a deep freeze to suit a sword cultivator sometimes.  Stymied for the first time by his aging body’s inability to endure such frigid cold, the peak master of Flying Jade Peak found himself with rather more free time than he knew what to do with as he was snowed in. His elder disciple, the consummate master of finding ways to waste time with nonsense, took up filling his shifu’s schedule as his new mission in life, and he saw to this charge more attentively than he’d ever seen to any of his lessons.  “Shifu! I brought you more rebirth berries from Southern He!” “Shifu, did you know Northern Li has started publishing a gossip column staffed entirely by sword cultivators?” “But Shifu, don’t you want to see the new moving picture they made about Yu Chang? I can recreate the theater in the Law Breaker, so we wouldn’t even need to go outside.” The honorable General Zhi’s hand twitched where it held the Sword that Mended the Heavens. “As I said, I’m behind on practice. A replica of the sword platform would be fine.”  “Bah, don’t you want to do something we can do together?”  Zhi Xiu smiled at his good-for-nothing student.  “My disciple would be welcome to join me in practicing the sword.” Xi Ping grimaced, but for once he didn’t flee immediately at the threat of hard work. Instead, he whined, “What good is practicing the sword? It’s not like I ever used a real sword to copy your sword moves, and I’m not about to start now, so it’s no good practicing with spiritual energy prohibited.” “The fact you still dare to say these things is a sign that I have spoiled you irreparably. The sword platform, please.”  “And if I am unfilial and refuse?”  Zhi Xiu reached over and flicked him in the forehead.  “Scoundrel. How can you treat your elderly shifu this way?” “Isn’t it because you’re elderly that I think you should do something better with your time than practice swordsmanship in the Law Breaker all day?” “And you think a moving picture about an acquaintance of yours is a better use of my time?” “It doesn’t have to be the movie! I just think we can find something better to do than slashing at nothing in a rotten bracelet for eight hours straight.”  Zhi Xiu reached out instinctively to hit his disciple with Zhaoting’s hilt until he made way, but something caught and stopped him before he could finish the motion. Xi Ping’s eyes, for all his flippant discourtesy, did seem to have something sincere and pleading tucked away in them, and suddenly the old sword master couldn’t bear to disappoint the request for a day spent with him. “Four hours,” he said. “You practice with me—serious practice—for four hours, and we can do something else together afterwards.”

[youremyheaven]

I agree, and yes both of my parents are hoarders lol and that was a bit of a nightmare since we already had a teeny tiny house, I shared a room with both of my sisters and we had no room to even walk on the floor lmaoo, but hey I like that we were close. Whenever I feel bad I always remember that in a tribal setting we would've been doing golden lol- close knit, very safe since if something happened to any of us we're literally right next to each other.

I'll say my Naks but it might expose me lmao because I talk about stuff on here too, but that's okay. I'm not trying to be too secretive. I'm Jyeshta Sun, Rohini Moon. I do have Mars in Uttarabhadrapada which is interesting.

My upbringing was kinda weird, kinda beautiful in some ways but by modern standards it was rough- I have a hard time saying it was bad because I know I was loved in a lot of ways too and that's more than some people can ask for. Just abusive shenanigans, but abuse can be weird because abuse isn't always as simple as someone just being terrible- like it's never okay but I mean, the same person who abuses you can also be the person who throws you birthday parties and makes them super magical and genuinely loves you. My mum in particular had a rough life herself, at 6 years old she immigrated to Australia and not long after was put into a children's home run by nuns because her mum was deemed unfit or something. She's Bharani Moon of course.

I went a bit wild when I was around 14 because I wanted to do anything I could to escape from home, so I would hang around a lot of strange men and drug people since they're aaalways out- after school, 2am, 12pm; there's always a group of a few of them around the area just messing around. So I could simply sneak out and go hang out with them lol. I guess I craved the adventure too, but most of all I just didn't want to go home. Even though we were not well off, we lived in a very wealthy area so I didn't relate to most of the kids around, I think that's part of why I gravitated towards the 'junkies'. They understood rougher conditions a bit better.

I ended up getting taken advantage of a few times which made me veer away from that scene for good, stop smoking weed, etc. but I was still looking for some way to get away from home.

I ended up in a relationship with a 30 year old man when I was 15, I stopped going to school much and started living with him. It was ghetto lol...

My mum passed away, so my sisters and I had to move states to be taken in by a relative. I was about to be 18 by that point so I had a choice on whether or not to come, but I was like bruh I'm not having my little sisters in a different state to me, that's madness- so I came along. Our relative was really strict and religious. She's lowkey rich but not the kindest person. She told me that I had to either get a job or study, or I'm not allowed to live there. I tried working and stuff but everything was just too fresh, I couldn't do much without crying :') so I was a dumb dumb and I decided maybe if I became a *dancer*, I could make money fast so that I could move out. I didn't end up doing it, I realised I'm too shy and sensitive for that kinda thing- I got on the stage for like a minute and had to get off because it was so spooky. The eyes of all the men, yikes.

Anyway, I got kicked out for the dancing thing and just in general being scandalous (by a religious rich lady's standards lol- bless her), and that's how I became homeless since I was in a new state and had nowhere to go that I knew- but it was for the best!!! I got taken in by a refuge, and they were so kind to me. I got so attached to the workers, they cared for us and treated us with such kindness.

Eventually I got a place on my own within the system. Then I met my partner & moved in with him to be freed from my ghetto life (jk I kinda love my life).

Sorry if this is very erratic, I'm never sure how to tell the story in a clear cut concise manner. I feel like it's going to take me a lifetime to sort out how I feel about a lot of things, but at the end of the day I'm not sure it even matters.

Just gotta keep making art, keep learning and loving, life is good- and people are strange, lol 💓💓

sorry for the delayyyyyed response but thank you so much for taking the time to tell me about your life's journey 🥺💛 you've lived a very tumultuous life and I'm glad you're in a more stable place now, it makes me hopeful about my own journey<3, so tysm <3

May your mom's soul rest in eternal peace 💛

"Just abusive shenanigans, but abuse can be weird because abuse isn't always as simple as someone just being terrible- like it's never okay but I mean, the same person who abuses you can also be the person who throws you birthday parties and makes them super magical and genuinely loves you."

this is the most Lunar thing ever

but also I will say as someone who has been in multiple abusive situations with very "loving" people, it can be very confusing to wrap your head around why someone can be so sweet, loving and kind one minute and tear you apart over nothing and yk...be aBusiVe the next minute. the truth is nobody irl acts like a textbook villain, the people who are capable of immense cruelty are the regular seeming people all around us. it took me so long to cut off toxic people because i always tried to justify it with "oh but they're also sooo kind and generous...." yada yada yada but its unhealthy to be around someone who is unpredictable.

My toxic ex bestie would imply I'm a whore today and then bring me muffins she baked at home tomorrow, if someone praised me in front of her, she'd stop talking to me for the rest of the day, sometimes she'd skip classes the next day and switch off her phone and i'd feel sick to my stomach with anxiety over her unpredictable behaviour and then she'd bring me earrings she bought for me??? and take me out to lunch?? crazy times but i think a lot of abusive people kind of overcompensate for their meanness with loving actions. they feel guilty so they overdo it and then the cycle continues. i've always felt bad about labelling certain experiences as "toxic" bc like you said i feel like it could be worse or that it wasn't so bad but at the end of the day "loving abuse" is still abuse.

[the-marsh-harrier]

Who was Orion Black? (Pt 1) Orion Black x Female!Reader

A/N: I wanted to explore Sirius's childhood more in a non-traditional sense and give Orion and Walburga some interesting character development. This takes place after Sirius has broken out of Azkaban. Although this is a reader insert in parts, it is not the main focus and some chapters will have little or no mention of the reader. I have also altered the year Walburga was born to be 1940 instead of 1925 as it states in cannon (this is my fanfic and I'll do what I want with the characters that are in it). Similarly, in some of the chapters to come, I already know I will upset some people with the way I portray Sirius and Walburga's relationship - remember everyone is entitled to portray fictional characters as they want in their fanfics and if you disagree, please write your own. JKR's bigotry and opinions are not welcome here nor supported.

Masterlist (Part 1) Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Sirius thought he knew who his parents were, but did he really? After returning to 12 Grimmauld Place after his escape from Azkaban, he uncovers secrets that he never would’ve imagined.

Coming Back Home

After a year of living rough as a dog, Sirius decided to finally give in to common sense and return to 12 Grimmauld Place. After a particularly difficult winter, Sirius realised he wouldn’t be able to withstand another… similarly, he had Harry to think about now. What choice did he have but to return to his childhood home?

Summoning the house forward, he watched as numbers eleven and thirteen were forcefully ripped apart and the dreaded structure came into view. Oh, how he loathed his childhood home. It hadn’t felt like a home since his first year at Hogwarts – not since he realised how deranged his upbringing really was and that marrying as his family did was incredibly unconventional for modern standards.

Ascending the stairs to the large door, Sirius muttered the password and completed the necessary hand magic to enable the lock to unbind itself with a painful rusted sound. When the final mechanism clicked open, Sirus left as if his entire body filled with trepidation. The last time he touched this door, he closed it and left his old life behind. What would be waiting for him on the other side? For a brief moment, Sirius considered the reality of going back to the prison he just left. Was there really a significant difference between the two places? At least in Azkaban, he could see the dementors that tormented him as opposed to the hollow halls of 12 Grimmauld Place.

It took one calming breath for Sirius to push open the door. It made a similar screeching sound to the locks, was this some kind of omen? An eery indicator as to what memories lurked within the brick monster. The silence was deafening, he’d never known it so quiet – it was almost frightening to him… that was until the shrill voice of Walburga Black penetrated through the air. “Fowl blood traitor! Out with you! You are no son of mine! You never were!”

Sirius winced at the noise. It had been decades since he’d heard her, and he had hoped to never hear her again. “You’re supposed to be dead, you old bat! Haven’t you heard of the phrase ‘rest in peace'? More like ‘rest in vulgarity’ for you!” Sirius began his hunt for wherever the sound was committing from. “Come on! Don’t go quiet now! You’ve got nearly 20 years’ worth of insult to make up for!”

The house was vile, how had Kreacher been allowed to leave it like this? There was some part of Walburga still residing in the house. She had always been a proud woman, so when there were no lanterns lit, floors left unscrubbed and dust heeps piled in the corners; Sirius didn't know what to think. It was as if the place hadn't been cleaned in decades!

“I’ll have you strung up! I curse your father for bringing you into this world! He dared to blame me for you leaving! He had the audacity to take my Regulus away with him when he found out you left! I hope your mudbloods were worth it! How dare you sully the house Black with your presence? Mudwallower!”

That was all Sirius needed. There she was, hung above the fireplace in the back parlour. “Enough!” Sirius barked. “Any more and I’ll set you ablaze – do you hear me, b*tch?” Walburga looked taken aback by Sirius’ proclamation and looked like she was about to speak again. “This is my house! As the man of the house, you will address me as such!” Walburga was stunned and seemed slightly horrified by the sight of the man before her.

“By Merlin, boy. What happened to you? Look at the state of you!”

“Me?! Have you not seen the state of the house? Where is Kreacher? Does he not clean anymore?” Turning abruptly, Sirius began calling for the elf and searching the house. That was when he heard small whimpers coming from Orion’s study. He hadn’t stepped foot in his father’s study since he was fifteen. “Kreacher! Out here now!” But the elf never appeared. Sirius tried for a second time, but the elf didn’t appear; however, the whimpering grew louder. He had to go in. With his hand on the doorknob and a sharp exhale, he swung to door open. Nothing had changed. It was the only room in the house still immaculately clean. Sirius saw Kreacher perched under Orion’s piano stool crying into his master’s suit jacket. “Kreacher! I was calling you! Why did you not answer me?”

“Kreacher only lives to serve the noble house of Black - not the blood traitors that it removes.” Kreacher barked while still under the stool.

Sirius reached his hand down under the stool to pull the elf out but quickly yanked his hand back when small, sharp elven teeth pierced through his skin. "Come out now, you vile bottom dweller!" Sirius always had a nasty temper, especially when it came to Kreacher. Sirius could see one of the arms of the jacket poking out from under the stool so he seized the opportunity to pull the elf out by it. Instead, as soon as Kreacher felt tension on the sleeve, he let go and scurried from the room, balling and muttering about Sirius's treachery to the family.

It was now that Sirius had the opportunity to survey his father’s study for the first time in twenty years. The room was now bright red instead of the pale blue he remembered it being, the large ebony desk still had music scores scattered over it – some finished, some never to be completed. Sirius had always enjoyed his father’s music – unfortunately, he only wrote when completely intoxicated. The wine racks that were once bookshelves were still fully stocked with an abundance of red wine, whiskey, and port due to the replenishing charm Orion had placed on it. Turning to leave the room, Sirius notice something that made him stop in his tracks. There still sat the high-back, white armchair in the corner behind the door, a copy of the Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Braum rested upon it. Sirius used to sit there as a boy watching his father play the piano and write his music. The portrait of that very same corner was still hung on the fireplace in perfect view of whoever was playing the piano. Sirius always thought it odd that his father had that painted of all things – why the corner of his office? And why that chair? Why that book? A book that was written by a muggle.

[ladykatakuri]

Girl Time and Lullaby

Pairing: Omega and F Reader friendship

Warnings: None it is female bonding and friendship

Word Count: 1778

Summary: Omega had always been well aware that there was one huge difference between her and her brothers. Something so profoundly different that it set her apart and that did not change until she met you.

Notice: After the disappointing finale of TBB i finished this little lyric work for Omega. I used the text of SleepSsong performed by Secret Garden

Omega had always been well aware that there was one huge difference between her and her brothers. Something so profoundly different that it set her apart and that did not change until she met you.

Working in Cid's bar on Ord Mantell, you had been amused by the sight of a young girl wrapping the men in her life all around her little fingers. Sure, you had seen adult women do this to men and they would get things done that way, but this girl was something else entirely. And with this young girl, it was not just the men that were taken in by her, not even Cid was immune to her charms.

With a bright smile Omega stepped into the bar. “Y/N! We finally got to try out the new Mantell Mix! It is soooooo gooooood. Do you want some as well?” Holding out the carton of the mix that both she and Wrecker always enjoy together after a mission, she beams a big smile at you and offers you to have a taste of it.

You can not help but grin at the beaming smile and the carton that is held out to you by this young girl. Her enthusiasm and her sweet demeanor make her easily loveable and like it or not, she has you wrapped around at the very least one finger as well. Grabbing a few pieces of the mix you taste them and hum in approval of the new taste. “That does taste very good.”

Happy with the approval of her new favorite taste, Omega turns around to her brother who followed close behind her. “Wrecker, next time we should also take a carton of mix for her. She likes the taste as well.”

Wrecker smiles his famous, beaming smile as he nods, popping yet another hand of mix into his mouth. “Uhuh kid! Sure will. It's getting late, we should go grab some sleep.”

“You forgot Wrecker? Omega will be staying with me tonight. It's girls night.” With an exaggerated wink you grin at Omega. “You ready sweety?”

Omega nods as she moves to get behind the bar. “Yep, all ready! I just wish we had taken some more of the new mix with us.”

Wrecker looks at you and Omega one more time as he turns around and leaves the bar. “Have fun kid! Take good care of her Y/N!”

Omega waves at him one more time and then turns to look at you. “When are we going?”

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby

Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay

After you had cleaned the bar, with some help from Omega, the two of you left for your small apartment only a few steps away from Cid bar. It was your little kingdom in a world that has been in disarray for a while. Your little refuge and now you could share it for a night with a young girl that could really do with some female company.

Girls night would be a welcome change for someone who has been raised between aliens and clones. Granted, the clones did not have it any easier, far from it, but for a young and impressionable girl, being raised by an alien race to be a medic and who knows what else was planned? She could seriously do with at the very least a sisterly bond and you were more than welcoming to the idea.

When the two of you had settled into your apartment, Omega put a fresh set of clothing in the bedroom and all the snacks and drinks were set on the table close at hand, you were ready for some cheesy holo`s and whatever you could think of. Before you knew it, Omega was trying out every way possible to do your hair while you were scrolling through pictures of cute haircuts for Omega. Inspired by the latest in a string of short movies, you struck up conversation about her need for some new clothes. The fresh set she had brought with her, were actually nothing more than a set of blacks and the standard outfit you were used to from her.

“It's decided then, tomorrow we will go shopping. I know some small shops around that might have just what we need for you Megs.”

Happy with the plans for the next day, Omega nods, grabs a snack and snuggles next to you on the couch. You grab a corner of the blanket that you had spread on the couch and draw it over the two of you. “Ohhh this is my favorite. That guy? He will have to find a way to lift a curse that is keeping him and the love of his life apart. He turns into a wolf at night and she turns into a hawk during the day.” Together you watch the movie, eating snacks and having soft drinks. Sometimes you giggle together or comment on what happens.

Before you both realized it, it had gotten late and time to sleep. Humming, you motion for Omega to follow you to the bedroom where you brushed your teeth in the fresher and got ready to change. A sudden gasp from Omega has you turn around. “Lula! Look, Y/N, Wrecker packed Lula.”

The stuffed Tooka doll that both Wrecker and Omega still care for greatly as if it were a living thing, is now held against Omega`s chest as if it were a fragile child or pet. You softly hum as you take in the scene.

“I suppose Wrecker wanted to make sure you would feel at ease here Megs.”

Omega nods as she puts the doll down on the bed. “Lula has something comforting. I guess we both just need to have that sometimes and it is the last thing we have from our home.”

Kamino, the planet that was home to her and her brothers for as long as she could remember. The place where they had all been bred for war and whatever other reasons there were to create so many clones. And now it was the last place they would ever want to go, because it would most likely mean imprisonment and a certain death. You feel for the young girl and her band of brothers. Actually, you feel for all the men who were born there and might never have a real home to call their own, with the way things are going in this galaxy.

“What is that melody you have been humming Y/N? It sounds nice.” Omega yawns as she asks and rubs her eyes.

“It is a lullaby from long ago sweetheart. Come, lay down and I'll sing some for you. I don't have the best of voices, but it is the thought that counts right?” You tap the bed and help Omega settle in. As she lays down you stroke her hair and begin to softly hum and sing the words.

And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow

Bless you with love for the road that you go

May you sail far to the far fields of fortune

With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet

And may you need never to banish misfortune

May you find kindness in all that you meet

May there always be angels to watch over you

To guide you each step of the way

To guard you and keep you safe from all harm

Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

As you hum and sing the words, Omega yawns once more and slowly her eyes close. Her breathing becomes deeper and deeper, each passing second as her body relaxes under the gentle stroking of her hair. Then, she softly snores for a second and you know the girl is in a deep sleep. Pulling up the blanket you smile at the little figure under it.

“Sweet dreams Megs.” Carefully, as not to wake her, you stand up and walk back to the living room to clean up the last bits of snacks and drinks. When your comm beeps you grin, already knowing very well who it is that is checking in at this time.

“She is deep asleep Hunter, no need to worry about that.”

You hear a deep chuckle from the other side before the man actually speaks up. “Guess I am that predictable then?”

“You all are. I know for sure that the others are listening in on this.” They can hear the smile in your voice as you speak. “Reporting in Sarge! Megs and I had a nice girls night, she is deep asleep now and tomorrow morning, after breakfast, we will be doing some much needed shopping after which I will be returning her safe and sound to you lot.”

“Thanks Y/N. Omega needed some time with someone … Well, not like us. You know, soldiers.” You can practically hear him think about how to explain what he thought Omega needed. She needed a female presence around sometimes to help her with the more girly things and you had taken her under your wing when you met for the first time.

“No problem guys. I will get her some new clothes and some other items she will need when on board of the Marauder. When we are done I will take her back to Cids bar to meet up with you all.”

After you finished your conversation, you go back to the bedroom where Omega is still deep asleep, clutching Lula to her chest. You dim the light as you crawl in yourself. It had been a nice evening with Omega and the day to come would bring some nice time away from the usual missions as well for Omega and a day away from bar duties for you. Softly humming the last few sentences of the lullaby you sang to Omega, you drift off to sleep thinking about the family you left behind on your travels and the new family you had found in the most unlikely of places. A strange family of clones you began to love deeply and the friends you made while working in the bar.

May you bring love and may you bring happiness

Be loved in return to the end of your days

Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you

I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay

May there always be angels to watch over you

To guide you each step of the way

To guard you and keep you safe from all harm

Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay

@loth-wolffe@moonstrider9904@nahoney22@chaoticvampirejedi@weirdcharacter@uponrightful@m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s@cyroku@reluctant-mandalore@kin-rokku@catbustours

[shingia]

Hello!!! I love ur fics sm 😭💖 This is weirdly specific and been plaguing my mind for days,,, Can I req an angsty fic where Atsumu broke up with the reader because he wants to chase his dreams and ultimately leaves but with the reader saying "I'll wait" . A few months later he seeks for the reader again and finds out the reader has terminal illness and is dying. You can decide if there's major character death or a miracle,,,, please and thank u so much!!

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐨 - 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

aw thank youuuu <33 and also WOW this request is in-tense, i modified the ‘terminal illness’ part a little bit for plot convenience, but i rly hope you’re gonna like it ! i am : stressed. also, i’m a sucker for happy endings (just ignore my last bokuto fic) so i couldn’t go full angst on that one 😅

quick storytime : my great grandpa died from heartbreak and i always thought it was a beautiful (yet very sad) way to die, so i guess that’s where i got my inspiration from <3

⤷  atsumu x gn!reader | angst | word count : 1.7K

warnings : hospital environment, heart condition, mild description of ‘illness’ and mentions of death (a little)

your first kiss with miya atsumu had been sloppy, dizzy, with a strong scent of rum and smudged lip balm all over your lips. but there was no doubt that it had been the best kiss of your entire lives…

…just like your last had been the worst. 

two months later, atsumu still couldn’t forget the salty taste of your lips that begged him not to leave. if he focused hard enough, he could even remember the feeling of your hands desperately clinging to his jacket in a last attempt at making him stay by your side.

but he didn’t, and as much as he hated himself for putting an end - even temporary - to what had been the most beautiful chapter of his life, he had never regretted his decision ; and he knew exactly why. you had promised to wait for him, and in pure egoism, he knew and hoped that you would. because no matter the distance, he was still madly in love with you.

which is why he did not understand why osamu was so outraged when he told him that he was finally ready to come back to you. but the younger twin knew things that his brother didn’t - he had seen you let yourself waste away, like nothing else mattered without the one you loved.

but more than that, atsumu did not know about the secret his brother promised to keep. he did not know that, two weeks ago, osamu had found you unconscious in your living room with an alarmingly slow heartbeat. the poor boy had not understood everything the doctors had told him - but whatever a cardiogenic shock was, he knew that it would have carried you off if without his intervention.

however, you had been categorical : atsumu shouldn’t not know about this, under any pretext. you refused to be a burden to the pursuit of his dreams for which he had already sacrificed so much for. but now that atsumu was back, something about this promise didn’t sit right with his brother. and so he decided to tell him everything.

« …most doctors thought about a standard heart attack » he told him after explaining the situation, on the lookout for any impulsive reaction from his brother. « … but one of them talked about something else. you might want to sit down ».

but atsumu couldn’t care less about his brother’s advice. actually, he didn’t care about anything else than you right now. it was already taking a lot of effort for him to stand there listening to samu instead of being on his way to the hospital - but he stayed. for an obscure reason that he didn’t really understand, he stayed.

« did you know that people can die of heartbreak ? » osamu asked, more serious than he had ever been in his whole life. 

the blonde twin felt like the ground had suddenly swallowed him whole - although his brother was trying his best not to sound too accusating, it was more than obvious that whatever situation you were in was because of him. and only him.

« no they can’t » he tried to protest, not even believing in his own words. panic was beginning to win him over - and in a matter of seconds, he lost all his composure « WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT MOVING ? LET’S GO ! » he shouted, already opening the front door. at that moment, one question burned his lips, but he knew he would never have the guts to ask it out loud. 

‘did i kill them ?’

——

the steady beeps of all the machines around you were the only thing disrupting the deafening silence of your hospital room. you were sick of spending your days alone. but you had no right to complain, osamu had offered to come and see you after work every day, but you had politely refused. well, politely was a big word… your body was so exhausted that you had trouble articulating simple phrases, and therefore exclusively communicated through nods or hand gestures.

your phone had been confiscated and the doctors kept you away from the news - or at least from the negative news, because they knew that your heart might give out at the tiniest emotional distress.

which is why you were so surprised to hear a knock on your door at about 3pm, outside of the nurses’ shift hours. knowing that you were too weak to talk, osamu let himself in, slowly closing the door behind him before coming closer to your bed.

« how are you doing ? » he asked, resting his hands on the other end of the bed. you shrugged, pointing at the IV and all the monitoring surrounding you. as long as these machines were there, it was hard to feel better than just ok. « listen, um… someone is here for you. the doctors said i could bring him in, but i wanted your authorization first… » he started before clearing his throat. « atsumu is back. do you- are you ready to see him ? ».

ready was probably not an appropriated word. but after two months spent pretending that he was still laying next to you in bed every night, still texting you good morning every day, still sending you the dumbest memes at the most random times, it would have been a huge mistake to refuse osamu’s proposition.

and so he let him in. obviously, atsumu had orders from the doctors and his brother : don’t run, don’t move too fast, don’t speak too soon, don’t touch them without warning. but nobody had asked him not to cry. and how could his eyes stay dry when you looked so fragile and so vulnerable ?

osamu quietly left the room, leaving the two of you together not without apprehension. but if there was one thing he could trust his brother on, it was taking care of you. two months could not have gotten the better of four years of relationship.

but as much as he cared about you, atsumu had always been - and still was - pretty bad with words. and the first ones that left his mouth were a great example. « are you going to die ? » he asked in a shaky voice, brows knitted.

you would have given him an answer if you had one, but you didn’t. the doctors said that you had gone through the most painful part, but the risks of aggravations were still too important to let you go home. you were not 100% safe yet.

« i told you i’d wait » you spoke in a hoarse voice, the beep of your heart monitor getting a little bit faster.

the steps atsumu took towards you were slow, like he had been told, but just one glance at his eyes was enough to know that deep down, he was dying to feel your skin against his.

« i know you probably hate me right now. and for good reasons » he started as he sat on the chair next to your bed, still painfully avoiding any contact. « but there’s something i need to tell you, in case… in case… well, if something were to happen ».

his eyes lingered on your fingertips, blue and cold, and his whole body tensed at once. the thought that everything you were going through had been caused by his own selfishness was driving him crazy. but he had one last thing to keep himself grounded, and that thing was exactly what he was about to tell you.

« i love you. but i caused you so much trouble that i think there’s only one way to prove it… » he said, taking a deep breath before finally resting a timid hand on your arm. « i want to marry you. right now. i don’t fucking care if it’s not considered official, i just want you to know that leaving you was probably the biggest mistake i ever did. and that i’m not leaving ever again. so fuck it, let’s get married ! you almost died, life’s too short to plan a stupid ceremony ».

he stopped for a few seconds, panting from his teary monologue and paying attention to any beep or other sound that might indicate that he had made things worse for you. but it seemed like you were doing ok. how could you not be ? the love of your life had just proposed to you - sure, it wasn’t how you had imagined it, but wasn’t it even more beautiful like that ?

the tears that started rolling down your cheeks were undoubtedly tears of happiness and relief to know that, finally, your life was back to normal. atsumu was your normality, and for the first time in two months, you finally felt like you had a purpose. you had no idea if soulmates existed, but what you had with atsumu seemed more than close enough.

if someone had entered the room at that moment, it’d probably have taken them several minutes to understand what was going on. two young adults, crying yet smiling, one of them laying on a hospital bed looking like they had been through hell and back, and the other tearing off two pieces of his t-shirt and looking genuinely proud of himself -  nothing about this made sense.

« my apologies, it was the easiest way to make us rings » atsumu chuckled, eyes still blurry as grabbed your hand in his with infinite tenderness. slowly, he tied the piece of cloth around your ring finger, loosely enough so that the doctors would not consider it dangerous for your blood circulation.

« i’m keeping that until you’re getting out of here. by my side. » he affirmed, pointing at his own makeshift ring before looking right into your eyes, as serious as ever. « and i’m also keeping you. forever. consider this my wedding vows »

as much as he hated to phrase it like that, you could both die in peace now.

i spent so much time on medical sites to be as accurate as i could, i felt like meredith mf grey for a few hours

@toworuu @catwithangerissues

[limenysnocket]

●The Blush Bet●

Pt. III: Our Love. . .

Summary: After their first non-official date, Taika can't get (Y/N) out of his mind. Every time he opens his phone, it's open to her number and a drafted text lays there and taunts him. He sees her at work and longs for her lips on his. There's never a perfect time to strike and it's all left to spoil until he's on her porch, love stricken, and knocking on her door.

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, masturbation and pure porn.

Request: @honorarytenenbaum

A/N: My God, is it hot in here or is it just Taika?

●□○●□○●■○●□○●

I saw her today, but a new light was casted on her and now I can't get her out of my head.

I always knew she was beautiful, but now she was gorgeous and she taunts me with that. With every step she takes, her hips sway and I swear my eyes must look like the copper in a an old bell, following her curves back and forth, whether it be when she runs or just walks fast past me.

Pedro has been asking both of us questions about the date, and every time I try to ask how she felt about it, he stops me, says he doesn't trade secrets, then leaves me hanging. Yes, I know the date was awful, putting her in that pink dress that I bought on EBay, but I said it was going to be horrible and I'm commonly a man of my word. Although, sometimes I promise a drama and just end up with a sick comedy most of the time. Dreadful, isn't it?

Just-- The way she looks at me, with her eyes all glittery. Maybe it's a translucent force holding me back from going over to her, grabbing her by the cheeks and smashing her lips on mine. I would beg for it... maybe I could, if she didn't mind.

No, that would be too childish... but she was leaving me no choice at this point.

I had betrayed the very rules that I had laid down on the date. She wasn't allowed to fall in love with me, and me and my snarky pride thought I'd be fine and come out of the date feeling free. God damn it, my ego is too big sometimes. I never knew that a woman could level me with her eyes in mere seconds. It happened once, but that ended horribly, obviously. Maybe this time, it will be good. It could be good. Maybe. Maybe.

We brushed shoulders today in the green room and it took every ounce of my being to not pin her to a wall in front of every one. Just one kiss. Maybe just one kiss would end all this, and my feelings could be extinguished rightfully instead of torturing me over one woman.

Like this morning, it had driven me insane. I had to cook my eggs with a hard on and stopped halfway through to deal with it. Because I still had my dignity left, I went to the bathroom to deal with it.

I dropped my boxers and stared at it for a moment, thinking of the reason why it was here, then I remembered. Her. (Y/N).

Images of her face entered my mind and before I knew it, my hand was stroking my raw cock. The images of her began to change, and now very lewd. She was screaming my name like it was the only word she knew and her body seemed to bounce in front of me with every stroke of my hand. If only it were real. If only I could actually simulate her warm cunt around me.

I stood in front of my sink, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. My forehead glistened with sweat and I was no longer pumping my hand, but thrusting my hips into it. My free hand gripped the sink and my nails etched invisible lines across the marble. The image of (Y/N) still invaded my vision. Damn it, I was even moaning her name. This wasn't supposed to be the way I found out I was in love with her. I could be moaning any past girl's name or even a dream girl, but no. I tried. I tried so hard, but none of them worked, even in the slightest. I was still drawn to (Y/N) like I was attached to her at the hip. I needed her. I needed her bad.

After work and another wank I managed to get my shit together. Well, almost. So many texts were sprawled into my phone, so many "I miss you" notes and "I love you" sticky notes stuck on the island of my kitchen, idea after idea after idea, but I chickened out of every one of them in the end. I'm supposed to be working on the script, but I'll be damned if I let myself accidentally type "(Y/N)" as one of the names in the typing process.

I buried my face in my hands. She was only one call away. One call.

I picked up my phone and bit my bottom lip as it quivered. I didn't even know what I was going to say. Would I flat out say I love her? No, that's too straightforward. Should I ask if I could... Wait, she's home, isn't she? If I could tell her in person, maybe this feeling would leave. Maybe if I could steal one kiss, my heart would stop pounding every time I thought of her. If I just set my standards really high before I kiss her, I will seem underwhelmed and forget all about my feelings for her.

I took a shaky deep breath, nodding as I clicked onto the dial pad and called a cab. I was going to show up to her door, totally unexpected, and beg her to let me kiss her. If it needs to come down to begging.

It was only a mere lightning flash before I was at her door and my hand was raised in the exact same way it was before we came close to kissing that night. I wonder what would have happened if her lips touched mine. Would I be over her or would she be under me?

Thunder rumbled in the sky above me and I realized that I needed to knock on the door and get in fast, before my new Salmon colored shirt and grey pants got ruined. I sucked up all the courage I had and out it into three stiff knocks on her door.

I could hear shuffling around inside and my foot started to bounce. My cab had already pulled out of the driveway, so there was no going back now. My breath accelerated as the locks started to come undone on the door and my hands clenched and so did my heart.

The door slowly tugged open and there, just past the door, was the face I longed to see all throughout the day.

"I need to talk to you," I whispered hot and heavily, my mind silently taking note that she was only dressed in a massive Prince t-shirt.

"S-Sure, okay," she said in a very surprised and shaky voice. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were wide and a little wild. I must have woken her up, perhaps. She offered to let me inside before the rain started pouring down.

"What do you need to talk about?" She whispered to me as I made my way into her living room, rubbing a thumb over the opposite hand's knuckles.

"A lot of things," I said, looking at all the papers sprawled out on her coffee table, notes taken everywhere. She was working over time. Why? I thought she enjoyed her days off. There was something else I noticed. There was a little glimmer of some kind of liquid on the couch and just by it were prints and marks where she had been sitting and/or laying down on the couch. It made me gulp. I must have caught her doing--... oh my...

"You, uh... You might want to sit down for this," I said cautiously and she scurried over and quickly sat down on the couch, her body partially hiding the wet spot. Now, I knew it was for sure.

I took a deep breath, standing only a coffee table away from her. My hands fiddled about. They'd be in my pocket one minute, then fighting each other the next with brutal squeezes. "(Y/N)," I said, my voice very hoarse, then I shook my head. If I was going to beg, I might as well do it properly. I went around the coffee table and got down on my knees in front of her. "I can't stop thinking about you..." I whisper to her. She seems to go into quiet shock, but she nods her head to tell me to keep going. "I've had you on my mind all day. I've tried to stop, but I can't. I fear that this is some sort of sick obsession that has grown ever since... the night on your porch." I gently clasp her hand in mine. She squeezes it softly and looks down at it.

"It's been the same way with me," she muttered, to my surprise. Then, she started reading my thoughts exactly. "Maybe if I had kissed you, this wouldn't have happened and our lives might have stayed right on track... how we used to be..." She looked down and so did I, at our hands as her thumb brushed over my knuckles. "Friends," she said finally, putting an end to her speech.

"I've had the same theory," I say aloud, and lift my free hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "Think it's still worth giving a shot?"

I watched her stomach rise and fall slowly, then our eyes connected again and she began to lean in. No need for verbal agreement, I guessed, since she admitted it. My eyes flutter closed even before our lips completely touch, and our foreheads are the first to meet. In the beginning, we're hesitant, but as we sank in closer and our lips met, we no longer had second thoughts.

The kiss was slow and absorbed in feeling; passion, remorse, need and frustration, creating an ungodly mix of emotions all tangled into one. I failed my own plan again and forgot to set my standards high, but even if I did, she would have met them, just ever so perfectly. She tasted of warm peaches and her bottom lip was like a velvet pillow caressing my own lip. She didn't even need to try to be a good kisser. The sensation alone was magnificent.

We both pulled away at the same time. I was still crouched in front of her and ducked my head down, fingers running over my lips and soft pants parting between them. My heart no longer pounded. It fucking swirled. And so did my stomach, apparently. Oh God, I was falling deeper and deeper in love with her right in front of her.

I suddenly feel her hands move under my jaw and she cupped it, lifting my gaze up to meet hers again, that adorable little look she gave. There was a silent pact taken, an agreement, really...

We both needed more.

I was the first to launch up and capture her lips, and this kiss was much rougher than the last one. We both tilted our heads and I slowly rose from my knees and got onto the couch. She laid back, spreading her legs a little to allow me to lay between them. The moment our crotches touched, however, I stopped. It was warm and wet. So much to the point where I could feel it through my pants. I pulled out of the kiss, my expression skeptical, then my eyes flickered to hers. She was looking away with embarrassment. When I had found out that she had been having her alone time to play with herself, I had figured that she still had something on beneath the shirt to at least answer the door. Short shorts or something... Alas, I was wrong.

To confirm my suspicion, I started to grind on her gently. The more I did so, the more I felt my growing tent get dipped into her heat. I had to see it with my own eyes now.

One of my hands, at one time planted by her head, slipped down to the hem of her baggy shirt and brought it up to her chest, exposing not just her heat but the curve of her breasts. My eyes glossed over and I unconsciously licked my lips. There it was. That SHE was. Glistening wet and beautiful.

"You really had some time to think about me, huh?" I grinned cockily. She smacked my arm and huffed a little, cheeks an alarming red.

"Well, if it makes you uncomfortable, we can just shut this whole thing down before it happens," she said and crossed her arms.

"Who said it made me uncomfortable?" I purr and get close to her stomach, pressing a tender kiss to it, before trailing more down, lower and lower. She panted and whined in anticipation like a dog in heat. Patience was the key, in this situation, and I took my time. During my morning masturbation period, I really do have time to think, besides about what (Y/N) might look like completely nude or dressed in something I might like, and I have a tendency of asking myself questions... questions like what might (Y/N) taste like.

I gently pushed two fingers into her slit, then part her folds, my eyes scan everything from her clit down to her hole. My God, everything about her... It drives me crazy. I dove in, flicking my tongue against her bud and that made her mewl my name ever so softly. I needed more of that. I wanted to hear her scream it.

I licked a fat, hot strip from the bottom to the top. I groaned. Fuck, she tasted delicious. She started to cry out as I ate her out properly. Sucking, licking and flicking my tongue across those deliciously sensitive spots. Her legs lifted up and rested on my shoulders and her soft thighs squeezed my head. I let out a soft groan and that seemed to drive her even more crazy. My God, this woman.

My hands gripped her hips and tugged them close, to keep her from squirming away. It wasn't long before she was moaning even louder and her fingers tugged at my hair harshly. My tongue started to thrust in and out of her, something that I hoped to let my dick do in a matter of moments, once she came on my mouth. I clung to her like crazy and pleasured her until she squirted, but even then I stuck to her, drinking up everything she gave me.

My chin was coated and glistening with her juices and I licked my lips free of her taste. I wanted more, but I also knew that she was waiting for the main show. She sat up and beckoned me forward with a curled digit. She first lifted off her shirt to expose everything to me. I started feeling a little bad, being completely dressed, but I didn't have to worry about that for long.

Her hands went straight for my belt and we worked fast together. I undid my button up and threw it off, along with my white undershirt. I smirked at the eagerness in her actions. She practically ripped my boxers off. I don't think I'll be getting them back after all this. Oh well. My thumb went to her clit once I had tossed everything off, but she grabbed my collar and tugged me close. "No more teasing," she growled hotly in my ear. That made me twitch with want. I nodded and took a deep breath, grabbing her by the thighs and dragging her where she was laying down in front of me.

I caressed her body with my hand and I began to kiss her neck, softly and slowly while I started to push into her tight cunt. She was so much tighter than I imagined. She was everything compared to my lubed up hand. She moaned my name into my ear and started to mewl for me. I let her adjust while gripping her hips tightly. I whispered soft curses into her ear.

I can't believe this moment was happening, that I was starting to pound into her wildly, just how I imagined I'd do it if she had actually been there, on my bathroom sink this morning to help deal with the "problem" that occurred. I should have kissed her a whole lot earlier.

I now bury my face into her bosom and kiss the skin between them while my hips bumped against hers violently and passionately. Never has desecrating someone's couch felt so good before.

Our sinful moans, nature and sounds filled the room. The couch rocked beneath our love making and our lips eventually met again. I could still taste her on the tip of my tongue, her essence. She didn't seem to mind. In fact, I quite think she found it to be a sensual aphrodisiac that fueled the fire in both of us. Her hands explored and unconsciously pleasured me, while my hips went wild and pleasured her.

I left little love nips with my teeth all over her body, claiming my territory. New territory. Man, Pedro is going to blow his top whenever he hears about this. Everyone is, probably, once it gets out on set.

"T-Taika~. Oh, fuck~," (Y/N) cried out and she pulsed and tightened around me. It made her start to thrust faster, giving her a burst of roughness.

"How close are you, love~?" I growl in her ear hotly. She only responded with hot moans and deep pants of my name. I needed an answer, so I smacked her ass roughly and massaged it by digging my fingers into it. She cried out sharply and moaned a weak, breathy, "Close~!"

"Good~," I groaned and bit down roughly on her skin again. I started thrusting faster and faster, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. I could feel it.

Oxygen became less and less of a priority the more we made love and the softer our actions became, all the way up to the peak and that's where our true feelings sparkled the most. I pressed my sweaty forehead against hers as she released on my six inch, then I had to pull it out and coat her thighs with my essence. I let my body sink and the only thing that filled the room was our soft pants of each other's names.

"Won't leave me hanging next time I try to kiss you again, right?" I hum softly and wink at her.

"Of course~," (Y/N) whispered back and made me smile as she leaned up and kissed me, her fingers curling into my hair.

What a woman...

[nana-n-nono]

Starborn

cw: mentions of death, mild injury, fire, lmk what else

SBB says: This thing is gigantic and got completely out of hand (at a word count of 7726 oh my god) but I hope you like it anyways and find some interesting lore points! Please do yell at me in the ask box! I'll try to have Jeno's up in less time but honestly it probably won't come out until end of August just before the event ends anyways lol.

They say in Soladium that being born is as instantaneous and explosive as a supernova. Jaemin always thought that was a bit odd, considering supernovas only occur when stars die. There's never an explanation either, when he asks. It's always, you'll understand when you're older.

According to the history books, the kingdom of Soladium was birthed the same way. It appeared entirely overnight. One day there was barren land under twin suns that were far too hot for life, the next a single sun and a brilliant realm built of white gold and molten lava. People questioned of course. Where did the second sun go? How did they do this? The first king answered none of these, instead going forth to conquer surrounding realms with swift and deadly force. These realms were by no means small either, the ancient lands of Tonitrua and Beongae being some of the lands razed. Soladium was fearfully hailed as a kingdom built in a single lunar cycle and as an empire built nearly as fast.

Now, those days seem like only stories, exaggerations from history. Memory is imperfect in that way. But Jaemin, and really every royal of Soladium, knows they're real. Knows that Soladium on the surface may seem like a cheerful, festive kingdom built on the foundations of honesty and sincerity, but that it lives on a foundation of bloodshed and deceit. It's hard to reconcile at times. You would look at someone like Jaemin and think, how can he be lethal?

True, Jaemin does not look particularly deadly. He's tall but he's not broad like his brother, nor does he seem clever like his sister. Often people will whisper that Jaemin was raised as a carefree child and that his parents spoiled him despite his status as the second prince, the second heir to the throne. Jaemin's inclined to agree with them to some degree, he was spoiled and he is carefree. But like everything in Soladium, that which is bright is built on something dark. And he is no exception to that rule.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Concentrate. Feel the heat around you. Feel it rise, heat always rises. Feel the intensity, that life breathes into—

"Your highness?"

Jaemin's head snaps up, a pure deer in the headlights look on his face as he's startled out of his training. The messenger sighs to themselves, fondly of course. It's well know that the second prince will get wrapped up in anything, and that he needs to be reminded of his other duties. But no one has the heart to tell him to stop, not when he looks so excited when he succeeds. Not when he looks so absorbed, eyes locked into whatever he’s studying when he’s concentrating. Jaemin clears his throat. “Yes?”

“I apologize for the disturbance, but your mother is requesting your presence in the courtyard.” The messenger sweeps into a bow and then straightens up, opening the door. Ah, so then it’s an immediate summons. The prince sighs, getting up and dusting off his trousers. Casual wear for the day, stuff he can run in since he had morning training with the weapons master. He nods to the messenger to lead the way, following closely behind. What could mother be summoning him for?

Even before entering the courtyard, Jaemin could sense his mother. Not through heat sensing, though he could do a bit of that as well, but rather through sheer presence. The queen was a formidable woman, even by Petramus standards. Tall, regal with a hard set jaw and narrow eyes. She was terrifying, at first glance. But underneath all that was a woman who based her strength in kindness, someone who was never afraid to stand up for justice and happiness. She didn’t back down on anything, didn’t back down from anyone. Though Soladium was a patriarchal society, the queen stood on equal ground as her beloved the king, and Jaemin admired that so.

The ideal behind marrying a Petramus princess to a Soladium prince was to form political alliances, of course, but also to try and instill a new set of values in the children of their union. Soladium’s undying determination and pride, Petramus’s stone cold analytics and cleverness. But it seemed there was still some way to go, with the first prince falling more into Soladium’s habits while the first princess fell into Petramus. Jaemin, it seemed, sort of fell into neither. An oddball.

As soon as Jaemin steps into the courtyard, the quiet chattering ceases and the queen turns with a beautiful smile. "My baby," she coos, reaching her arms out from where she sat. Jaemin immediately steps into her embrace, pressing a kiss to her temple as she does to his.

“Mother.” The queen gestures to her side to the empty space reserved for him. The bench is quite small, especially considering the size of the queen’s skirts that flare out but Jaemin still manages to sit down without accidentally sitting on the silken fabrics. “What is it?”

“My baby,” she repeats, but it’s different. A touch sadder. Jaemin leans into her touch when she cups his face with one hand, thumb caressing his cheekbone. "Oh, my precious Jaemin-ah."

He stays quiet, unsure what to say. What to ask. There have been few times in his life that his mother has taken this tone. When his grandfather died. When he was so ill they thought he may not survive. This tone is always accompanied by the pain of loss, potential or real.

"As you know," she starts softly, "You'll be fifteen soon." Between when he sat and when she began speaking, all the servants had stepped away to the edge of the courtyard, leaving only the two of them. Jaemin nods. Of course he knows, it's his own birthday for one but for two it's his Blessed day, so the entire court has been preparing for this. His birthday is happening in only a few days, but the planning for festivities has been so much longer. Months of color design, decor placement, outfit tailoring, inviting foreign royals. Of course Jaemin knows.

He also knows that Blesseddays are special. They're secretive and sacred but after a Blessed day, people change. They grow into themselves, whatever that mean for them. For Jaemin's older brother that meant becoming more confident and bold, bordering brutally honest with every passing day. Jaemin's older sister embraced her innovative spirit, devoting all her time to strategy and intelligence. That wasn't to say they weren't those things before their Blessed days, but after... It was like they'd been shocked into realizing their life purpose or something. It was, frankly, a bit terrifying for a young Jaemin. And just a bit lonely, though he'd never admit that.

Jaemin doesn't know what any of that has to do with the queen calling him today though. The way it works is that three days before the day of celebration, the person in question (Jaemin in this case) is brought somewhere (of course he doesn't know where yet) by the last person in the immediate family who had their Blessed days (Jaemin's sister in this case). Then they undergo some kind of ritual for the three days and emerge on their birthday to undergo a more public ritual. The public one is more for appearances than anything else, but it's an important ending to the whole process. The only part the queen needs to play is in the public ritual so... What's the whole point of this?

She doesn't say anything for a while, for a time that seems to stretch on and on though it's likely no more than a few minutes. Jaemin has his father's eyes but his mother's smile. A smile, no matter how small, is always the warmest thing in a room. A smile that embodies Soladium, as he's been told again and again. He offers this smile to her now, as reassuring as he can.

"I just wanted to see you," she says finally. Some part of Jaemin is confused and maybe a little disappointed. This seemed like something so serious and yet...? But he just smiles wider and tilts his head in her touch, childlike despite no longer being a child. Young, but not a child. That just seems to make her sadder, though she still smiles and boops his nose with her free hand like she did when he was a toddler. "You'll always be my baby, okay? No matter what, you'll always be my baby."

Jaemin really doesn't get it, maybe this is a nostalgia for him growing up? Still, he nods and replies, "Yes mother."

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Jaemin is awoken just as the sun begins to peak out from over the mountain tops. The break of dawn, three days before his birthday as promised. His sister, dressed in white robes with simple gold trimming herds him out of his room, ushering him into a bath first before dragging him down the hall, down the stairs, down down down. Jaemin has never been this far down. Jaemin hasn't seen another living soul since he woke up either, not in the bath, not in the halls. No knights, servants, gardeners... no one. His skin prickles at the loss of heat.

He's dressed in grandeur unlike his sister. A white shirt of satin, hand sewn with thread that is so fine and delicate it looks more like it was woven into the shirt rather than sewn in. Gems embellish the hems on the sleeves, the bottom of the shirt, the collar. And then simple slim fit trousers, in the same fashion except with some extra curling embroidery creeping up his legs. For once, he looks every bit the prince he's meant to be. And yet he feels so vulnerable, the satin unusually light and thin.

"Jaemin." His sister stops at the base of the stairs. How long have they been walking while he got caught up in his thoughts? A long ways down if the endlessly spiraling stairs above him have anything to say. It's entirely pitch black down here too, not a single light in sight. Jaemin only knows to turn to his sister by sound, by instinct. By...

Oh.

He inhales sharply. When he was first introduced to the idea of heat signatures, Jaemin was confused. Which was unusual, because nearly every living person in Soladium can pick up on heat signatures one way or another. But Jaemin had no idea what they were talking about. He was a rare case, someone who could not innately tell where heat was coming from. So they trained him from the beginning, and now he's made enough progress that if he concentrates, he can pick up strong heat signatures. But only strong ones. His sister's is not very strong, but what she's standing next to...

It's blinding. It's so, so very bright and Jaemin wants to take a step back. Something they teach you about sensing heat is to avoid things that are too hot. Most things will not fall in that range. Certainly not humans, at their internal 37°C count. Not even boiling water at 100°C. The limits alter per person but the general consensus is to cap out around 300°C. Some of the more talented individual can push it to 500°C. But this... Jaemin feels like his skin is melting, his throat is closing up, his eyes--

"Jaemin," his sister says softly. And just like that, he's back in darkness, gasping as he collapses onto the cool stone floor. For a few minutes, there's just the sound of Jaemin's wheezing. Deep breath in, hold, breathe out. Do it again.

"I won't be going any further with you. For the next three days, you'll be here alone. This place has everything you need, food, clothes, water, baths. Anytime during those days, you need to confront it. It doesn't need to be now, and it doesn't need to be in the last hour. But you must. If you don't..." She sounds so far away, echoing softer and softer. Jaemin wants to call to her, but he can't. He still can't breathe. Everything is unsteady. It's too dark, completely and utterly dark, and yet he still feels light fading around the edges of his non-existent vision. "Be brave Jaemin." A pause, so short it might not be a pause at all really. And then infinitely softer, so soft that he can barely catch it. "Until last light."

——————————————————————————————————————————————

When his eyes open again, Jaemin is 100% sure he's awake and yet it doesn't feel like it at all. Right. All consuming darkness. How Jaemin didn't break his neck walking down somehow eludes him, he's always been clumsy. He slowly gets up, but his body isn't stiff as expected. The stone beneath him is hard and cold, and yet he feels like he's just slept on the softest, warmest bed in the whole world. He rubs his eyes to try get some sensation out of them, but. It's just dark. If he strains his eyes to see then it'll definitely hurt him later. So instead he closes them, to try and trick his brain a little.

He doesn't really want to stand with how his legs gave out earlier... Earlier? How long has it been since his sister brought him down? God he doesn't know at all. He's not hungry though, so maybe it hasn't been that long. He stretches his legs, wiggling his toes and by the feeling of it, he might be okay to stand in a few minutes. But for now he just keeps stretching, slowly but surely waking up every part of his body.

After he feels enough blood in his limbs, he stands and though he wobbles a bit, he's stable enough to not fall over. He'll take that win. He doesn't recall at all what this area even looks like, so he just takes a step in a direction. There's faint heat signatures around, but most of them are near muted completely. Not entirely bizarre since Jaemin doesn't have a good track record of heat tracking anyways, but definitely inconvenient. He wants to squint but-- oh wait. His eyes are closed. After a momentary battle of what to do, he settles for scrunching up his nose and stepping towards a cluster of signatures, small ones. When he feels around them, he thinks ah okay, so this is food. It's simple stuff really, bread rolls, some fruits, a block of cheese. Probably? It feels like that anyways.

To its left are something that feels definitely like clothes, though he has no idea what kind. They’re soft though, so it probably doesn’t really matter. Who’s going to see him anyways in all this?

Somewhere further left is a kind of hallway that Jaemin finds by feeling along the walls. There at the end, the heat signature rises to a more normal view. A hot spring maybe? It’s close to that if it’s not. A slight misstep confirms it though, and Jaemin, disgruntled, hauls himself out sopping wet.

After changing into some dry clothes, he finishes cataloging (which isn't much, just a lot of soaps and an actual bed) and then sits on the floor to just... Ponder. His sister said he needed to face it, but what is it? His own weaknesses? And then there was that bright light. He's fairly certain that it had to be a hallucination or something. After all, if he saw it after being in the dark for so long, wouldn't he go blind? Or... Is he blind? No way... Except there's no way to tell because even with his eyes open, the darkness is as thick as ever. Fear sinks into his blood, cold as ice. But he shakes his head, it can't be. It can't be.

He stretches himself out on the bed, apprehension still crawling on his skin when he settles. There's a lot to consider here. So, Jaemin thinks, let's take it step by step.

First: Jaemin must complete some kind of task during these three days. His sister mentioned it doesn't matter when, only that he do it. Caveat? He has no idea how time is passing here.

Second: There are faint heat signatures all around but they're muted, even the hot spring that should be very bright. Could the mysterious light have something to do with that?

Third: What happens if he doesn't complete the task?

Third: What happens if

Third: What

Jaemin blinks, suddenly dizzy in his attempt to sit up. It's as though the bed is pulling him down, coaxing him to rest his head and close his eyes and let go of this thoughts. Oh, he thinks as he sinks back down. Maybe it's been a day already. Maybe it's night now. There's no reason for him to be sleepy though, he thinks even as he yawns. After all, doesn't that mean he was asleep on the floor longer than expected...?

——————————————————————————————————————————————

"Jaemin-ah!"

He turns, blinking. It's not dark anymore. Not at all. In fact it's very bright, so much so that Jaemin should be squinting against the shine. And yet he isn't, instead slowly twisting around with a growing smile. He knows that voice anywhere.

"Jeno!" And there in full view is Lunaste's only prince, eyes crinkled in their usual moon crescents. Jeno looks good as always, wearing a tighter fitting formal shirt tucked into newly tailored dark pants. On his ears sparkle the mark of an heir, small gem from Lunaste's mines. They're a shimmering dark blue, not unlike the night sky before the sun fully sets down. Jaemin half runs over to hug his best friend, reveling in the clean and cool feeling that Jeno always gives off.

"What, did you miss me that much?" Jeno laughs, squeezing Jaemin just as tightly. "C'mon, let's go sit. It's been ages since I last saw you."

Jaemin genuinely has no idea where they are but Jeno seems to know it well, so the younger boy just follows behind with a spring in his step. They don't walk long, just enough that Jaemin gets a bit whiny to Jeno's endless amusement. "Jenooooooo--"

"Shush you big baby, we're almost there." Jaemin's pout does nothing but make Jeno smile wider, tugging them both along until they're suddenly in some kind of clearing. A huge meadow? Jaemin's never seen it before, in either Soladium or Lunaste. But he just accepts it, trusting Jeno. The older boy takes them to a patch of grass that's mostly clear of flowers, laying down first and gesturing for Jaemin to join. It's nice out here, a light breeze ruffling the grass and the suns not too bright. Wait. The suns?

"Jaemin-ah." Jeno's voice sounds so far away. Jaemin looks to his side, and yet there's no one there. He sits up, looking around but Jeno's no where to be found. The meadow is still there though... As is a plume of smoke, slowly encircling the edges of the horizon. "Jaemin!" The boy scrambles to his feet, heart racing as he hears his best friend yell. "Jaemin!!"

"Jeno?" Jaemin yells back, eyes widening in horror at the smoke approaches. And where there's smoke, there's fire. The meadow's burning up. And Jeno... Is nowhere to be found.

"Jaemin you have to run!" Jeno's voice sounds more strangled, like he can't breathe. Did he get caught somewhere?

"Jeno! Jeno where are you!" Jaemin coughs as the smoke starts to crowd where he is, ash falling onto his skin and burning him just like real fire. There's no where to go though. Even as Jaemin turns, he's confronted with more smoke, more fire. "Jeno!"

"Jaemin you--" The rest cuts out, the flames roaring too loudly. Jaemin swallows dryly, crouching down to the floor. What can he do? He's going to be completely surrounded soon. There's no where to go--

"JUMP!!"

Jaemin's eyes snap open at the feeling of a hand on his elbow hauling him up. Jeno??? He's scuffed up, scratches and blooming bruises across his cheek and on his hands. Jaemin hesitates, mind racing too fast to comprehend but Jeno whips around with his eyes blazing. "Jaemin trust me. You have to jump." Jump where? The solar prince looks down and oh. There's a hole, about two times his width. It seems to go straight down, just down down down endlessly. Jaemin's logical brain doesn't understand, but his instincts do. And his gut trusts Jeno.

So he jumps.

Down

down

down.

Jaemin gasps, hands clenched tight in the sheets as his eyes fly open. Where is he? Why is it dark? Is he underground, is this--

His voice is barely above a whisper. "Jeno?"

Silence stretches endlessly, swallowing his soft call.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Jaemin doesn't really dream. Or at least he never remembers his dreams, so this is really unusual and quite frankly very unpleasant. He'd taken a long bath right after waking up, wincing at the sensation of hot on his skin but settling in after anyways. He's awake now, definitely.

The dream... Well, maybe nightmare would be more appropriate. Jaemin shudders thinking about how vivid it was, how he still feels his throat closing up at the vague thought of ash. Soladium residents have some heat resistance, sure, but that sensation was... Like being surrounded by...

The sun.

Jaemin blinks, understanding slowly coming through. The sun! But wait... Wasn't that just a legend? Two suns? One shot down--

No. It was never fully explained what happened to it. Jaemin just assumed it was shot down as part of the story, but in fact... What if it wasn't?

This is crazy. Jaemin, you're nuts. You're losing it. And yet in his heart he knows he's right. Something about this ritual has to do with the sun. The second one that vanished without a trace the day that Soladium was established.

You need to confront it. It. Not yourself, not them, but it. A non-human entity.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Jaemin spends the rest of the day not thinking. Honestly his head hurts, waking up with a hammering heart and a confused brain was not been a great way to start the day. And then all that thinking immediately after in the bath... Yeah, Jaemin's calling it for day 2. He still has at least 24 more hours in day three. And then... Does he technically have part of his birthday? Maybe?

He spends the day nibbling on apples and cheese and crackers. Another thing, the food is always prepared in easily eaten bites. Apples are sliced, sometimes peeled. The cheese is always cubed. Weird. Magic isn't really prevalent in Soladium, not really. The only thing really would be their heat control. Even the heat sensing doesn't seem that magical, more a byproduct of adaptation to the landscape. But there's definitely something magical about this whole thing. It's a bit unsettling.

Like the previous night, Jaemin starts to feel the pull of bed at some point, probably around the peak of the lunar cycle. He yawns as he settles down, curling up on his side and falling asleep.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

It smells like earth. Like damp earth. Jaemin doesn't hate it, but he's not the fondest fan either. Rainy days are nice, and he like them just fine, but they're not his favorite. That's just how it is. But he likes them when he can be with Jeno, then it's fun. Running around with Jeno chasing him is fun. Spending the day inside talking over snacks is fun. Finding new hiding places and cozying up is fun.

"Jaemin-ah."

"Jeno-yah."

Jeno's always been there. Jeno is reliable, like how the lunar cycle always follows and leads into a solar cycle. They may be princes of different realms, but somehow they're still best friends. Constant letters, excuses to visit. Sometimes the queen dowager of Lunaste will whisper to the reigning queen of Soladium, ah they're kindred souls.

"Jeno, I'm scared." It should feel scary to even admit that and yet it doesn't. It just comes out. Jaemin still has no idea where he is, has no idea where Jeno it. Everything's blurry, like he's looking at it through some thick frosted glass. But Jeno's there, he knows it.

Jeno doesn't ask why. Doesn't say that it's going to be fine. Instead he says, "But are you going to let it stop you?"

Jaemin almost wants to say yes. It's infinitely scary to think that perhaps the thing he has to face is what he thinks it is. But it's infinitely more terrifying to think that if he fails, he might never be able to see the people he loves again. After all, no one knows the cost of failure for the ritual, only that if you fail you don't come back the same. Or at all sometimes.

"No," he says instead. "No, this is something I have to do. To move forward." To be with everyone, with you.

Jeno smiles and Jaemin feels a warm hand over his own. "That's right. It's something you have to do."

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Jaemin takes a deep breath. He hasn't tried to heat sense much outside of what's necessary, but even then he's gotten so familiar with the space he doesn't need the sensing to tell him where everything is. But he has a feeling he should try again, maybe it'll show him what's there.

Sitting in the center (or what he thinks is center) of the room, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Concentrate. Feel the heat around you. Feel it rise, heat always rises. Feel the intensity, that life breathes into objects. Take a deep breathe in, do you feel the warmth in the air around you? Stretch your senses out, feel for the things around you. Exhale slowly, do you sense the warmth of your own breath, your own life?

Slowly but surely the heat signatures return, muted as they were before. Jaemin furrows his brow, hands clenched into tight fists that rest over his knees, legs crossed in front. He can feel that prickling on the back of his neck, warm across his back. He peeks open his eyes a little at a time, seeing heat wrap around in wisps. The signatures of the ordinary objects have all but disappeared. The only one left is the one seemingly behind him, emitting curls of heat that flutter around the room before vanishing. It's much too bright to be the bath.

He doesn't turn around immediately, he'd be a fool if he did that. "I'm not sure if you can speak, but I..." He pauses, unsure how to say what he wants to. In the end, he settles for a simple, "But I'm ready." Jaemin squeezes his eyes shut again as the light starts to flash, brighter and brighter until the entire room is engulfed in white.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

The first thing Jaemin registers is screaming. A mix of voices, adults and children, men and women. Incoherent, though he picks up a few repeated words. Run! Hurry!

He's afraid to open his eyes, but he forces himself to and it's definitely not within the castle. It doesn't even seem to be a dreamscape, with how vivid everything is. Jaemin finds himself in the center of a jostling crowd, everyone seeming to sprint in the same direction. He turns to what they're fleeing from and...

He sees the lion emblem of Soladium. He sees gleaming gold breastplates over white chainmail. He sees a soldier slam his sword into someone who is fleeing, and watches as red stains the pristine silver metal.

Jaemin's going to throw up.

"Nana! Nana what are you doing standing there? You have to run!" What? What the hell, how can this be? It's Jeno, but he's... Younger. A lot younger. Is Jaemin that young too? Only seven, maybe eight? And how can Jeno be here, he's not a resident of Soladium. But wait, is this Soladium? Or...? "NANA!" Jaemin feels himself being yanked along the stream of people.

"Je- Nono, what's going on?" Jaemin can barely keep on his feet, tripping over himself often. Jeno's hand pulling is the only thing keeping him upright. "Nono, wha--"

"There's no time, we need to get out of--" There's a fuzzy sound, not unlike TV static.

"What??? Out of where? Where are we??" Jeno's younger look alike looks at Jaemin like he's crazy. He repeats the word, but again it's just static. Jaemin's really losing it. Jeno twists down an alley, escaping from the crowd but still moving. It's a little like going down the stairs with his sister, Jeno just keeps taking him down and down and down. At some point they enter some kind of tunnel, barely big enough for them. Jaemin has to crouch a little as he walks.

It's dark.

"Nono?" Jaemin can still feel his touch on his wrist, but he can't see him and Jeno doesn't answer. After what seems to be hours but could be minutes, they stop.

"Nana." The voice speaking is soft, a blend of an older sounding man and a young boy. "Nana, I'm gonna go ahead okay? Wait for me here?"

"Y-yeah," Jaemin-- Nana-- says quietly. "Come back soon?"

"Always."

And then Jaemin is alone.

For minutes. Then hours. Maybe a day has passed. He doesn't know, he hasn't moved. A voice inside whispers ever so faintly, maybe he won't come back. But Jaemin believes in his best friend, or this person who looks like his best friend. So he waits.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

"Jaemin?" He blinks, yawning. When did he fall asleep? Is he still in the tunnel? He can't be, it's too light out. The air is too fresh. Jaemin snaps awake, scrambling up. He nearly headbutts the person above him, who rears back just in time to avoid breaking their nose. "Jesus!"

"Wh-- Where am I? What time is it?" Jaemin tries to calm himself down, taking stock of what's around him. It's some sort of courtyard like area, but there are people everywhere. In the same clothes. Yellow blazer coats and black pants, white button up shirts. A uniform?

"You're at school and it's twelve thirty." Jaemin snaps his head to the side to look at Jeno, who's rubbing his nose lightly. "Damn, I think you actually nicked me a little with that iron head of yours."

"Jen?"

"Huh?" Jeno stops touching his face and Jaemin almost wants to cry at the sight of his best friend. Jeno from Lunaste has near perfect pale skin, his mole stark against it. Jeno-- Nono-- from wherever had the youthful tan of carefree boy. This Jeno looks just like he'd expect a teenager to, skin a bit pocket marked from acne scars, uneven redness all over, more freckles and moles. But it's Jeno, it's definitely Jeno. Jaemin really is going to start crying. “Jaem what’s wrong?”

Shit is he crying? Like for real? Ugh, gods that’s embarrassing. He shakes his head, pressing his sleeves to his eyes and heaving a breath. “It’s nothing Jen,” he mumbles. At least it’s just light sniffles and not full blown sobbing. That would be hard to justify. “Just tired and yknow how it is.” Why’s he talking like this? Maybe it’s just a tic of this Jaemin.

“Ah.” Sweet, understanding Jeno, who never questions when he doesn’t need to. “Yeah that assignment was pretty rough, I was going to strangle Hyunseok when he almost deleted our files. Here.” Oh a handkerchief. It’s just like Jeno to be a little old fashioned like that. Jaemin takes another minute to collect himself, stuffing the cloth into his pocket.

For a minute it’s just quiet and peaceful. A light breeze drifts across, ruffling the grass and just barely shifting Jaemin’s bangs. This is nice, yeah. Jaemin leans back on his palms and tilts his head up. It’s warm.

“So Jaem, I was asking about Friday? Cause I know you said you had student council stuff—” does he? “and you know how caught up you get when Donghyuck slacks off.”

Jaemin doesn’t even have to think about it for a second. “I’ll make time for you.” He always will. But of course he can’t say that part here, this isn’t his Jeno even if the beaming, crescent eyed smile he gets looks so familiar.

“You’re the best Jaem!” Jeno grabs a bag and slings it over his shoulder, offering a hand out to Jaemin. “Thanks for always being there for me.”

“Yeah,” Jaemin says with a smile so genuine it hurts his cheeks. “Of course Jen, always.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————

How much more must he go through? Somehow it feels a little like he’s been through countless iterations, countless universes. Him as a gangster, Jeno as the innocent bystander. Jeno as a celebrity, him as a devoted fan. Sometimes it’s Jaemin who is cruel and heartless, sometimes it’s Jeno who’s broken and hurting. And yet always the same, Jaemin and Jeno, Jeno and Jaemin. Tied together, always faithful to the other. Not once does Jaemin regrets getting shot at, getting strangled, getting screamed at if it means he can protect Jeno. He never regrets stealing or lying or smashing things if it mean staying with his best friend. Always, he thinks as he fades out of yet another life. I will always be there for you.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

“Sir.” Jaemin turns to see a squire, stiff in their naivety. “King Jeno has requested your presence.” The mere words send shivers throughout his skin, but he nods and dismisses the boy before spinning on his heel.

King Jeno is every bit as regal as Jaemin knew he would be. Midnight black hair coiffed just so under his crown of silver and white gold, dark sapphires embedded as accents. His expression is cold, something Jaemin himself has only seen once in his fifteen years. Somehow he suspects this version of himself has seen it far more often. Jeno looks almost bored, but his voice simmers with anger. “Na Jaemin.” Jaemin swallows but keeps his head bowed where he kneels. He hears a kind of clicking, not loud enough to be shoes but certainly loud enough to be a threat. Jeno’s rings most likely.

“Report.”

Jaemin still doesn’t raise his head as he speaks. In his memories, there are too many blood splatters to ignore. “The Southern Isles have refused to relinquish their control over the pass, they say that… that they won’t unless their demands are met.”

“And what are their demands?” The temperature seems to drop another ten degrees. Jaemin doesn’t want to say it, but he know when Jeno sounds sickly sweet like that… there’s no room for arguments.

“They’ve demanded that their prince be returned to them, no matter what. And that… and that you be removed from power your majesty.” There’s more of course, but those are minor compared to this. Jaemin knows that the Southern prince with caramel skin and a halo of golden curls is alive, but perhaps not for much longer. He prays he’s wrong, but he’s known Jeno for far too long.

For too long there is silence. Jaemin is almost shivering with how tense he’s gotten with every passing second. And then Jeno laughs, a soft chuckle that is so icy, so unlike his own Jeno, that Jaemin almost wants to curl in on himself and scream because it’s wrong. It blows into full, body shaking laughter and Jaemin can’t help flinching when he feels rather than sees or hears Jeno come close. A cold hand tilts his chin up and he meets Jeno’s eyes. Dark, black not brown.

“Is that so,” Jeno says softly. Jaemin doesn’t try anything funny. Jeno’s technically unarmed now, there’s no one else around. Just them. Jaemin could so easily overpower the King if he tried. Jeno isn’t special here, he can’t predict what will happen. And they’ve always been equal in strength. Jaemin could end it all, save the people from war. But he doesn’t. Not that he can’t, he doesn’t. Because this is Jeno, who he chose. “Na Jaemin, what are you?”

“I am your right hand, your majesty. Your shield and your spear to command as you see fit.” A practiced answer that spills as easily as oil over ice.

“Yes, that’s right,” Jeno coos, tapping Jaemin’s cheek. Has Jeno ever been this cold? Physically or otherwise? “You do as I ask.” Jaemin’s heart is hammering so hard he’s surprised Jeno can’t hear it. “And now I ask of you this.” Jeno leans in close, voice a sly whisper. “Kill the prince and send his mangled remains to them. They want to make demands of us? Of me? No. Jaemin-ah, show them who we are.”

Kill. In all the universes, Jaemin has killed before. But this is the first time he’s been asked to by someone he loves. The first time he’s been asked to kill someone he cares about.

Show them who we are. We, Jaemin and Jeno. Jeno and Jaemin.

Jaemin swallows and whispers back, “As you wish, your majesty.” And later, when he’s in the dungeons with a far familiar face glaring at him, spitting insults at him, when he raises his sword high and brings it down with all his force, all he can think is that he promised he would never turn his back on Jeno, no matter what.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

It’s quiet after he plunges the tip into the southern prince’s chest and Jaemin welcomes it. A brief respite between universes, somewhere he can rest. These breaks never last long, some hardly over a minute or two. Jaemin closes his eyes and waits, waits for the next universe to wake him up somehow. But instead he hears a voice, one that echoes like thousands of voices speaking at once.

Have you made your choice?

Jaemin blinks slowly and then stumbles back. Oh, so he’s in a corporeal form for this. Okay. It should be burning hot and blindingly bright, given that he’s staring directly at a sun. Neither sensations occur though and he tentatively steps forward again.

My choice?

The sun rumbles.

Yes. Your choice on your will.

My will?

Yes. That which makes you strong and that which makes you weak.

Oh…

You must decide now. Your will is what you are, but you may choose another way. Be warned child, your will is the strongest and weakest you will ever be. Your other cores may save you from those extremes, but you will never fully involve yourself in your fate. You may end up simply drifting along, always feeling away from yourself.

I don’t want that.

Most do not. However it is an option.

Can I… Can I ask a question?

Of course child.

Why was it always Jeno?

I cannot answer that.

What? Why?

It is simply not my place to do so. I can only answer questions about you.

Was it something I chose?

Yes. In a way.

…

In the last one. Why didn’t I stop him? Would I… would I do that in real life?

That I cannot tell you. I can only show you what could be, given the strength of your will.

What is my will?

Do you not know? Hm... A pause, as if the entity is pondering how best to answer this. You, Na Jaemin, third child of King Na Seomin and Queen Lee Minyoung, are destined to be the strongest ally. Your loyalty knows no bounds. Once you have chosen a person or a cause to dedicate yourself to, you will do so endlessly. Without question, without fear. Regardless of who you might hurt to achieve the goals they've asked of you. Regardless of what might be taken away. You will do what is asked, if that person is who you've chosen. That is your will.

That doesn't sound very good...

A will is neither good nor bad. It is, like everything, something that is altered based on what you choose.

…

It seems you’ve made up your mind.

Yeah. But one more question. Who are you? All of you?

Ahh, but you already know this do you not?

Just checking.

The entity chuckles. Are you ready to make your choice?

“Yeah,” Jaemin says with a smile. “Yeah I am.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————

“… Min”

Huh?

“Jae… min…”

Oh that’s his name.

“JAEMIN!”

“Gods above what!” Jaemin snaps as he opens his eyes, annoyance vanishing in an instant at the sight of Jeno’s tear streaked face. Actually, looking around, everyone was in various states of distress. His mother had her hands over her mouth, silent sobs wracking her shoulders as she leaned against his father who was pale but wearing an expression of pained pride. “Wh-why are you all crying??”

Jeno’s face contorts in a way that would be funny if not for the fresh wave of tears dripping down his cheeks. “You were gone for so long, I thought— we thought—”

“Gone?” Jaemin echoes, brows knitting together as he tries to piece it together. It must be his birthday right? The ritual shouldn’t last longer than that.

"You— you were— Gods Jaemin," Jeno hiccups, hands wrapped tightly around Jaemin's in his lap. "You were gone, you were—" Jeno can't finish it, instead sobbing again and releasing Jaemin's hands to pull him into a tight hug. Jaemin automatically raise his arms to wrap around Jeno's shaking shoulders, neck getting uncomfortably wet with tears. Jaemin turns slightly to his parents for clarification.

"You were dead, Jaemin," his mother says in a broken but somehow calm voice. She was just sobbing a second ago, how has she collected herself so quickly?

Dead? He was... dead?

"Your h-heart wasn't beating," Jeno cries, "A-and you weren't breathing and— Jaemin. I thought, we thought—"

Oh.

"What... What day is it?"

"It's the day after your birthday."

After?

No wonder... There's never been someone who didn't complete the ritual after their Blessed day. He... Wow.

"I came in," his sister says with an odd detachment, "on the dawn of your birthday. Like I was supposed to. And you, you were just laying there and gods..." Her voice cracks. "You were just laying there and you were so cold."

"When I saw Jaehee in her ceremony, she was sitting there like she was dead too. But she was warm when I touched her, and she opened her eyes immediately. And I saw— I saw the sun in her eyes so I knew. But you," Jaehyuk swallows. "You just didn't. We tried to look but it really was like you were dead Min, your eyes were so empty."

Jaemin squeezes his best friend tighter, throat closing up. "B-but I, I just accepted it like noona said to?"

"Accepted? Jaemin, I said confront. What do you mean accept?"

"Huh?"

"Jaemin-ah," his father says now. "When you meet the second sun, you should have seen yourself in different scenarios." Jaemin nods, that he did. "And you should have always made the same choices." Again, he nods. "And then the final scenario is the hardest, it's the one where you choose. And then you wake up."

"You, you didn't talk to anyone?"

"What?" No one seems to understand. Not even his father. "You spoke to someone? Do you mean in the final judgement?"

"No! No, I mean... After. After I made—" Jaemin shudders at the memory. "After I chose, I spoke to someone. To it."

"You..." Jaemin's sister was always the clever one in the family. "You spoke to it?"

"To them, yeah."

"THEM??"

"Gods them! Yes!" Jaemin reels back, earning himself a yelp from Jeno who gets tugged along. "Them. The second sun isn't just a sun. It's, it's our ancestors."

"WHAT," Jaehee shrieks, lurching forward as if to grab Jaemin's collar to demand what he knows. Ah, so this is what they meant when they said strongest and weakest. Her thirst for knowledge, her willingness to do anything to get it. How similar it is to his steadfast devotion.

"Stop that!" Jaehyuk hauls her back. "Stop, you're scaring him."

Jaemin's... Not scared. But he doesn't understand. "So none of you have spoken to them?" He's met with three mirrored head shakes. "Wow..."

"So what happened then?" His mother asks, the voice of calm despite how frazzled she looks. Jaemin's never seen her like this, pajamas underneath a coat, hair undone. His heart swells at the sight, at how much she loves him.

"They asked me to make my choice. They uh, they told me what my will was and how it might be... hurtful." And they mentioned something else but that's for Jaemin's ears only.

"That's it?" Ah ever shrewd, his sister.

"Yes."

"Why does it matter," comes a muffled whine. Oh shit, Jeno. Jaemin reels back but is held in place by his best friend. "He's not dead, he passed your stupid test. Isn't that enough?"

Evidently not for everyone but no one seems to want to challenge the Lunaste prince. It makes Jaemin wonder what happened when he was dead.

"We should give Jaemin some time to rest." His mother is the first to collect herself, standing and lightly dusting off her skirts. His father is quick to follow, always one to support his wife. "Jaemin-ah, although it's late, happy Blessed day." Jaemin hears the proud, unspoken happy birthday my baby.

Jeno stays behind though, unwilling to let his best friend out of sight. Jaemin understands it, he would be the same. For a while it's just quiet, Jeno clutching onto Jaemin and trying really hard, it seems, to not cry again. And it's like at that sight, Jaemin loses all his strength and pitches forward, pressing his face into Jeno's neck and mumbling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Jen, I'm so so so sorry."

Jeno just pulls him in closer and buries his own face into Jaemin's neck. Jaemin will pretend that they're not both shaking, even though there's no one to pretend to. Cause it's Jeno.

"Don't you ever do that to me again," Jeno whispers fiercely, voice thicker and more ragged than usual. "Na Jaemin I swear I will pull you back just to kill you myself."

Jaemin laughs at that, shaking his head. "I won't. I'll never leave you Jen."

"Don't promise things you can't keep," Jeno sighs back. But Jaemin knows, feels it hot in his chest, that this is one promise he's never going to break. Not even on his life.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Notes:

- A lunar cycle is just one night. The only special time terms are solar cycle/lunar cycle instead of day/night. If it's a week, it's still called a week.

- While this event states that Jaemin/Jeno have only recently discovered they are princes, this blurb is slightly separated from that. This blurb is set in the full AU but is twisted slightly to fit the bot, thus both Jaemin and Jeno have been princes from birth. So just, don't think about it too hard?

- Inspiration: Stars are born from nebulas in which the gas and stardust in the nebulous cloud begins to collapse in on themselves from the gravitational pull. Stardust is from the death of other stars. This got a little out of hand but those various scenarios Jaemin goes through are like his own lives and deaths, so when he dies in them or when he kills in them, they "piece" together to form his will which is his strongest trait. Jaemin's a unique case where he always chose the same thing. Often people will kind of alternate their choices and whatever is strongest/gets picked the most often becomes their will.

- In the final dream sequence, Nana is Jaemin's ancestor. Naming conventions differ in the past, children would receive a nickname (Nana) and then once they became adults they would receive their formal name (Jaeyoon). In Jaemin's current timeline, you receive the name you live with when you're born. So when Jaemin was born, he was named Na Jaemin and that's just it. I can explain it more if it's confusing. Really I just wanted an excuse to make a Nana and a Jaem compared to Jaemin, yknow?

- The final dream sequence serves as the final judgement by the second sun. It weighs more heavily than others with higher emotional stakes. The reason why people lean into their attributes so heavily is because of this last scenario. In their minds, they have already played through everything that could be and will not deviate from their choices. Thus people of Soladium are considered rigid and stubborn.

- The second sun doesn't always choose to enhance positive attributes. Though Jaemin and his siblings received (in order) loyalty, cleverness and determination, others in Soladium history have received things like ruthlessness, deception and fear. Generally speaking, what attribute is chosen is what the individual's core value is, and has a lot to do with nature vs nurture.

- Don't @ me about plot holes lmao

[radioromantic-moved]

it's the final livebloooog (doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo) this baby's extra long, because the episode is twice the average length. also big time spoilers. you know.

-"no place in the universe can compare with our past. our burned, ashy past." a statement about david's place and also about the earth which i'm pretty sure died from global warming in the stellarverse. not scary at all.

-HARTRO'S‏‏‎ ‎BOYS....ONE MORE TIME FOR THE ROAD <33333

-"do you know what this means???" "that‏‏‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎trexel‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎has no taste." "that we're all getting slushies."

-hartro's‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎little excited snuffles that sound like she's about to have a breakdown but, like, the good kind are basically exactly how i feel right now too.

-"what have i always told you??" "shut up! shut up! shut up!"

-HEY THEY MENTIONED FRANKENSTEIN!!!

-long time viewers of the Blog may remember that one of cyril's special books is‏‏‎ ‎frankenstein.‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎trexel‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎knows what‏‏‎ ‎frankenstein's monster is (kind of). you know what that means. at least one cute little reading time.

-i was going to make a joke about 'three neurodivergents argue about social rules' but that's kind of the entire podcast. with the number of neurodivergents differing by episode.

-THE TWO OF THEM BOWING TO DAVID...hartro‏‏‎ ‎genuinely getting into it and sounding like she's about to cry and‏‏‎ ‎trexel‏‏‎ ‎sounding so deadpan

-oh i Hate this conversation! i hate the conversation they're having about killing off everyone who's ever met a board member!

-hartro‏‏‎ ‎and‏‏‎ ‎trexel‏‏‎ ‎as david's pa's <3

-IS THE BOARD ALL DEAD. DID THEY NEVER EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE. BECAUSE IF SO THAT ALL CHECKS OUT

-"the...secret loss?" "yeah, you idiot, the secret loss where the board all died, have you been living under a rock??"

-CALLED IT, BABY

-yesssss go OFF imogen!!

-DON'T BE MEAN TO HER STANDARDS!!!!!!

-"hello, and welcome to 'so you've discovered that the board is dead,' with me,‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎sigmund‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎shankeray.'"‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎trexel--"ugh, this guy again?"

-context:

-ughhhhh tasty tasty worldbuilding!!!! the board all dying in an incident....security was destroyed in a coup.....standards wants to replace imogen with new board.....

-HOLY SHIT

-IT'S A "NO MAN CAN KILL ME" RULE

-NO PERSON CAN ALTER IMOGEN'S CORE FUNCTIONS....BUT CLONES DON'T COUNT AS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-OH MY GOD THIS IS SO TASTY

-IMOGEN WAS TRYING TO GET DAVID ONTO THE BOARD FOR HER OWN REASONS!!! AND THAT'S WHY HE'S SUCH A FUCKED UP LITTLE ANARCHY BOY!!!!!

-angry beyond belief that something that‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‎trexel‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‎could figure out confused me badly enough that i had to relisten to the same part twice and reread the transcript to figure out why the plan wouldn't work.

-in case of a deadlock....

-one of the ORIGINAL FOUNDING FAMILIES

-CAN BE NOMINATED -TO BREAK THE TIE

-AND GUESS WHOSE BITCH ASS IS FROM A FOUNDING FAMILY?????

-ugh you big big dummy...even your big moment is just reduced to who can take you to the better bar. but he does call david his favorite clone. and he DOES vote with them.

-"well--aheh-hah."

-oh my god. david's smug little laugh is my new favorite noise in the ENTIRE WORLD.

-number 48's maniacal laugh is Very fun. but don't shoot david please.

-"trust me! i'm a‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎geistman."

-the WAY HE SAYS THAT LINE IS FUCKING

-HMDGKDGDMHODHGGRGRRRRHHH.

-OH HE COMES THROUGH IN THE END

-DAVID'S CHAIR IS THE ONLY ONE NOT HOOKED UP TO AN ESCAPE POD SO HE HITS THE EMERGENCY EVACUATION AND

-GOD. FUCK.

-obsessed with the group's enraged "TREXELLLLLLLL!" as they get launched out of the airlock in the pod. that's absolutely cartoon levels of sillydumb and i love it.

-"can we....get them? we can't just leave them out there. it's inhumane." "they wouldn't do the same for you." "i don't know, i think...i think that maybe he would have."

-HI, BAWLING MY FUCKING EYES OUT

-THIS IS GONNA BE THE LAST TIME THEY SEE EACH OTHER ISN'T IT. THEY AREN'T GONNA GET THE POD BACK ARE THEY.

-YEAH. CHECKS OUT.

-okay so they're alive but in any number of thousands of habitable locations across the galaxy. that's not so bad! i can write fix-it for that easy! these motherfuckers are gonna be friends forever whether they like it or not! the worst found family may be free of the everpresent fear of death but they will never be free from the status quo.‏‏‎ ‎trexel‏‏‎ ‎finds out the planet they land on doesn't have a bar and he figures out a way to access a communications system from scratch so he can call david in tears.

-the little trumpet when david gets voted in....HELL YEAH, HAIL DAVID!!!!!

-"well, you do have the power to destroy‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎stellar‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎firma‏‏‎ ‎now. i'd never allow another ai to take over, but i'd quite happily...burn this all to the ground."

-YESSSSS KILL VIOLENCE DEATH KILL KILL

-imogen sounds so hurt when david starts asking alex to make copies to run functions...."explain away! i can both listen and plot my revenge at the same time."

-"...but that was before the population crash, so the escape shuttles should be able to contain everyone!" "and the clones!" "oh, right, the clones! recalculating and the clones too! wouldn't forget them! :)"

-oh i have too many thoughts about this conversation i'm just gonna post it and let it sit

-DAVID AND IMOGEN ON A PLEASURE CRUISE TO‏‏‎ ‎GALACTONIUM!!!!! FUCK YEAH BABY!!!!!! GOOD FOR THEM!!!!!

-after credits‏‏‎ ‎enola‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎scene!!! my beloved!!!!

-okay okay okay okay okay okay okay. hoooooooooooh boy.

-THAT WAS!!! REALLY GOOD!!!!! AND EVERYONE MORE OR LESS TURNED OUT OKAY....WE GOT OUR ANTICAPITALIST MESSAGE....the only thing we didn't get was the main four's theater troupe and i think i'll forever be a littttttle bitter about that but nobody's stopping me from writing about (or just imagining)‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎hartro‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎and‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎trexel‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎eventually tracking down a working communications system and finding david and imogen so they can all yell at each other forevermore. i'm gonna miss these stupid little dorks so much but i'm so glad i got to be here for the ride. now to figure out whether cyril went with david and imogen or‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎trexel‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎and‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎hartro‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‎and how it changes their fake little storyline.

[silv3rswirls]

Expectations ( Natsuo/reader)

When it came to bringing you home to meet his family Natsuo was...hesitant to say the least. It was no secret to you that his family was tough, especially when it came to his father, who he seemed bent on that you never have the misfortune of meeting. You had already met Fuyumi. You had shown up at the Todoroki household to meet Natsuo for a date and you happened to run into her. She stayed with you until he was ready and luckily Enji hadn't been home that evening. You met Fuyumi a few other instances away from their home as well. She seemed to like you a lot and you liked her. She was always friendly and welcoming towards you. She was nice. Really, most of his family seemed nice given the circumstances. All of them but Enji. 

The moment Enji learned his son had a girlfriend he insisted on meeting you. He had no real interest in you, Natsuo explained. He just wanted a chance to determine if he thought you met his standards. To determine if he'd allow his oldest son to say with you. Of course, Natsuo didn't care if you were up to his father's standards. You exceeded his own standards and left him breathless with every smile you gave him. His father's petty views wouldn't ever determine how Natsuo felt about you.

You never pushed Natsuo to take you home to his father and he was thankful for that; however, one sunny afternoon you almost left him speechless and stuck in his tracks. The both of you had been walking to the campus bookstore during your shared break so he could grab a last-minute textbook and then you planned to grab a quick lunch before having to part ways. The sun was beaming in the sky, the air held a slight breeze and the campus smelled of freshly cut grass- it was the perfect spring day. He was chatting about his day so far and sidetracking to plans to do something together later in the evening as usual. You listened to him, paying only half attention as your mind wandered to what Natsuo had told you that morning before class. 

"My dad's bugging me about you again" he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't think he'll ever take the hint and just leave you alone. You don't have to do anything just because he wants you to."

You knew it bothered Natsuo. His father always bringing you up and trying to get more information about you. You were pretty sure he was right about Enji not dropping the subject anytime in the near or far future.

So, without much of a thought, you spoke up. "Tonight you should tell your dad I'll come for dinner and meet him."

Natsuo grew silent almost immediately as his eyes widened and he stopped just short of the bookstore's front doors. "You want to meet him?" He asked, stepping up to hold the door open for you. You quietly muttered a "yeah" before walking in and disappearing into one of the isles. He followed you quickly, "Why?" he questioned, "did he say something to you? You don't have to do anything for that man really-"

"No, he didn't." Natsuo had always been worried that Endeavor would get tired of his excuses and seek you out himself. "I'll have to meet him eventually, right? Let's just get it done with."

Natsuo frowned, "I know, but...I just don't want him to..." he gave a sort of half-shrug as he gave up trying to find the right words. He pressed his lips together and thumbed at one of the books on the shelf. 

Smiling you took his hand, "it'll be alright. He's not going to scare me away from you. If he wants to judge me then let him, it doesn't matter what he has to say anyway." 

Natsuo squeezed your hand lightly with a delayed nod. "I'll tell him...come to my place around six?"

"And we can go to my place afterward" you smiled, knowing that Natsuo likely wouldn't want to stick around with you after dinner.

You hadn't been nervous until you found yourself standing at the Todoroki's front door, waiting patiently for someone to answer. You had gotten ready as you normally did, besides taking a little more time in piecing together a nicer looking outfit and trying a little harder on your hair. While you didn't care what Enji thought, you figured you'd look nice for Natsuo at least. While on your way here you could feel the slight stir of nerves in your stomach, but now they were jumping to life and threatening to eat you up. Waiting at the door would always be the most nerve-wracking part. What if Enji answered and not Fuyumi or Natsuo? What if Shoto was home and answered? You hadn't met the young UA student yet.

Thankfully, when the door swung open you were greeted with Natsuo's nervous, but smiling face. "Hey" he breathed, welcoming you in and taking your jacket. "You're right on time, the food is pretty much done." He grabbed your arm, gently tugging you back to press a kiss on top of your head before you entered the living area.

You had seen Endeavor before, but never in person. Just judging by the pictures or new clips you'd seen of him in action you knew he was an intimidating man. You couldn't imagine what he'd be like standing before you in person. Enji was standing as if waiting for you to come in and greet him. 

Oh yeah, he was way more intimidating in person.

Swallowing your nerves you smile and greet him politely. "It's so nice to finally meet you. My name is y/n"

"I had thought the day would never come, you seem so fond of excuses." 

"It's been a long time coming!" You beamed a smile rather than returning his rudeness. "I would've come sooner but the university is just so busy this semester, work and everything else keeps me pretty occupied."

He almost scoffed and kept his arms crossed over his chest, "Enji Todoroki" he finally introduced himself. 

Your introductions had been rocky and awkward, but as dinner progressed you found it becoming easier to be there. Enji hadn't wasted any time in questioning you about everything. You university career, what kind of job you were holding down at the moment, how you had met Natsuo- all of the basics really. Eventually, he'd move onto your family, which left Natsuo with a frown. He knew what was coming. Everyone else had left the dinner table at Enji's silent request. He sat at the head of the table, staring you down. "You're last names sounds familiar." He began, not paying much attention Natsuo as he shifted in his seat uncomfortably and, despite knowing what was going to happen, rather unprepared to listen. "Are you related to that old pro?" He questioned.

Your grandfather had been a hero in his prime, a rather well-known one at that. Your father had gone the same route, while your mother had stayed away from the public eye. Your family was known for a pretty powerful quick and a rather good heroism track record.

"I am" you nodded, predicting his next question before he had the chance to answer. "I inherited my grandfather's and father's quirk." Enji didn't smile at you, it was more of a grin as he glanced to Natsuo. You spoke more about your family before the words that Natsuo had been dreading all night left his father's mouth.

"I was worried Natsuo would bring home some weakling- or even worse some quirkless nobody, but you have potential." You were about to thank him, but he didn't give you the chance. "You and her will have extraordinary children, don't you think Natsuo?"

Natsuo didn't reply, just grabbed your hand under the table and grit his teeth. "If you'll excuse me" you smiled awkwardly before getting up to find the bathroom. Natsuo stood up as well, grabbing the plates on the table and taking then to the kitchen. Enji followed his son, leaning on the doorway as he watched the young man clean up. 

After taking a few calming seconds to yourself in the bathroom you washed your hands and took a deep breath before heading hack to Natsuo. You were surprised to hear laughing coming from the kitchen and even more surprised to recognize it as Enji’s. It hadn't been hard to hear Enji's booming laugh and voice from where stood unseen in the hall. Enji was talking more about you and your quirk; about the kids, you’d have would keep the Todoroki name strong. Your face flushed red in slight embarrassment over what you had to hear, it was uncomfortable, to say the least. Enji was talking about you like some breeding stalk- as if you as a person wasn’t even on his mind.

“Stop talking about her like that!” Natsuo snapped. Your heart jumped when you felt Natsuo breeze past you and disappear. You didn't stay to listen to what Enji was muttering under his breath. Instead, you spun around to follow your boyfriend. 

Natsuo was in his room, the door left unlocked as you slowly opened it and peeked inside. Your lips turned to a frown to find him pacing the length of the room. His face was heated in anger before he stopped to drag his fingers through his hair with a deep breath. He plopped down on the bed, leaving you room to step in and take a seat beside him. “Natsuo?” You asked, “What's wrong?” You rubbed circles on his back with one hand with the other cupped his face and urged him to turn his head to you. He didn't meet your gaze, his eyes were filled to the brim with tears as more and more began to drip down his face. His jaw was clenched as if he was stopping himself from spilling out to you. He wouldn't talk until he calmed himself down. "Natsuo" you cooed softy, moving your thumb to brush away a few stray tears. "don't cry it's alright." The moment you moved to hug him he gladly wrapped his arms around your shoulders, squeezing you tightly and pressing his face into the crook of your neck. Tears melted into your skin as he took a shaky inhale and nuzzled into you. "Whatever your father says, it doesn't matter." You wracked a hand through his hair before he pulled away from you a bit.

His eyes were puffy and red now, along with his cheeks. His eyes seemed to be signed red in slight embarrassment for falling apart like this in front of you. He rubbed his sleeve over his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry" he began quietly.

You shake your head, "don't apologize, we all break down sometimes." 

"It just makes me so angry to hear him talk about you like that." He clutched the blanket in his fist, "I don't care if you have a powerful quirk or if we'll have strong kids- You're so much more than that to me!" He slipped his hands into yours. "You're beautiful and kind and funny and smart- there's so much about you that I love- I love all of you."

A small flurry of butterflies rushed through your stomach and your face began to heat up at his words. "I know you do...I love you too Natsuo. The things your dad said are wrong and just...horrible, but I don't care. I don't care what he thinks of me. I know it must be hard, he's your dad after all, but all that matters is how you and I feel. I love you Natsuo."

His lips curved into a small smile as he moved to wrap his arms around your shoulders once again. You hugged him back, trying to match just how hard he was squeezing in his bear hug. “I love so much” he sighed.

[jimjamthehorrorman]

"Texas Hold Em'"

(PART TWO of the "Unconditional Love" fic. In this AU, the boys are all alive, modern setting and not cannibals. Just a bunch of eccentric boys with secrets. Hope you enjoy!)

Early morning, a tinge of blue coats the walls like thick paint. You forgot to close the curtains, but this isn't your house, so how would you remember so easily? You wonder if your dog is having a good time lazying up the house with your friend who came to pupsit. But you have other things to worry about, she's in good hands.

The guest room at the boys farm was empty other than an uncomfortable old futon, some strange bone art (as you know, Nubbins and Bubba are quite the taxidermy artists) and the subtle smell of a "cinnamon clove" candle on the dresser that really ties it all together.

The sound of a rooster crowing next to the window reminds you..

"The boys are up already. Today I finally get to meet the notorious 'Chop Top'" you thought to yourself, struggling to get the heavy flannel sheets off so you can get dressed. "first day as a farmhand, that's a step up from gas station attendant."

When Drayton saw how easily you got along with the boys, he realized that you could be a good addition to the farm. Obviously you wouldn't live there full time. You've got your own home and your own life seperate from them, but something draws you there when you have free time. Actually, someone.

Stomping down the hall, you hear boots already mud clodden. Speak of the devil, he knocks at the door frame with a gentle thud. He groans in a way that almost sounds like "are you up?" You see his eye barely peak through the gap in the door.

"I'm getting dressed, Bubba!" You shout, grasping at the sheets to cover yourself. You hear the sound of his heels turning and a slight jog that turns into some thudding and stomping again. He must have been embarrassed because he turned heel, ran, stumbled and hit the lamp in the hall on his way out.

"BUBBA YOU FOOL, YOU DAMNED NEAR BROKE GRANDMA'S GOOD LAMP!"

Drayton's up.

"GODDAMNIT BOY, GO ON OUT AND GET THE TRACTOR STARTED!"

You hope to yourself he isn't like that with you. Poor Bubba.

"You about ready in there Y/N? We've got to get some work done and then we'll get breakfast made." He took a totally different tone with you. It's almost sickening that he can be so nice to you and so mean to his brothers, but you can't complain because he'll do his best to hold his tongue with you around.

"I'll be out in just a few, Drayton! I'm putting my boots on now!"

He chuckled on his way down the hall.

"Chop Top's back from the VA Hospital, so be prepared. He's crazier than any of us." You can't tell if he's joking or dead serious.

You meet Nubbins at the door.

"Hey! Hey Y/N! Bubba wants you to meet the animals and his favorite are the birds! They're so nice, really good tempered! The ducks are his favorite but I think the chickens are mine!"

"Alright! We'll go check them out together, they have to be fed anyways right?"

"Oh yeah! And they eat real good too! Hungry little things!"

He prances down the lane towards a little crooked shack, Bubba's standing outside the door putting buckets of water and feed out for the birds. He just can't stop wearing that pretty mask and suit. He knows how much you like it and you haven't seen the other mask since the day you met. He's dressed to impress and he's going to get his dress boots dirty, you just KNOW it.

The sun's come up as you were coming down the lane and Nubbins, running in his standard silly formation, makes it to the door and slams it open, letting out all the chickens to Bubba's dismay. He hadn't finished putting everything down and now he has to get his shoes muddy to get back to the other side.

He looks to Nubbins and groans loudly, putting his hand up to his masked face. Shaking his head, he walks around the muddy nasty pen and finishes his job. As soon as he sees you he perks up, running out the pen and nearly ripping his good coat on the wire fence.

"Good morning big guy! Thanks for the privacy this morning!" You laugh as you watch his cheeks redden from under the mask. "It's alright you didn't know I was changing. Anything exciting planned for this afternoon?"

He points toward the gate at the end of the midpoint in the driveway, a truck is making it's way out toward the road and you see Drayton, his mouth running like he's cursing his whole way out. His window is closed but you feel for the poor soul on the other end of the phone.

Nubbins runs up and grabs you by the shoulder. "He's going to get Chop Top from the bus station in town! They finally got him out, he's going to get him and we'll have a great time, a hell of a time!"

You've heard wild stories about this guy, and you weren't sure how to feel about him but certainly he would come to be as close to you as the other boys.

Bubba and Nubbins finish doing their jobs while you get some Alfalfa treats for the cattle out back. Who knew these hefty old things were like big dogs themselves? The one with the biggest horns you knew to be "Dolly" the longhorn named by Drayton and his favorite. You give her a couple extra treats for good measure.

It's only been about fifteen minutes since Drayton left, and based on Nubbins' watch, he wouldn't be back for another 45. Now's your chance to get even closer to Bubba. He doesn't talk much but there's a spark and he for sure likes you.

More of an action than words guy, that boy.

"Hubba Bubba, look at you all fancy!" You smile at him, he's got his sleeves rolled up to the elbow, his pant legs rolled to the knee and he's slinging a 50 lb bag of cracked corn into the feeder. He looks down at you, giving you a once over before wiping corn dust off of his tie and jacket. "I'm done with my jobs if you want to go on a walk!"

Bubba giggles to himself before putting the burlap sack on the pile and walking up to you, excited to spend time with you, knowing soon you two can have a snack at the barn.

"So, do you like living on the farm?"

He nods, he loves it here with all the animals, you can tell. He scratches his chin under the mask. He must get hot wearing those all the time and shaves quite often so it must get itchy.

Walking down a hill toward the barn you pass a beaten up old shed. Getting too close to the door he grabs your hand and snags you in close to him. He's shaking his head no.

"What's wrong with the shed, Bub?"

He looks uncomfortable and points to the barn.

"Okay okay, we'll keep moving." You give him a pat on the lower back and keep walking before giving one hesitant glance back at the shed. What's in there and why is he not letting you in? Weird.

Halfway to the barn you realize you're still holding Bubba's hand. He's tangled his fingers up in yours and you feel him gently trailing his thumb around on your hand. He looks down at you every once in a while just to be sure you're comfortable. He's nervous and it's easy to tell.

You try your best to reassure him by doing the same and smiling back each time. He lets out a relieved sigh as you make it to the barn. A decrepit old metal barn from the 50s filled to the top on one side with square bales of hay and the other side a little table with five chairs and a couple of empty stalls sit. The barn is open on both sides other than the back, a torn up old screen sways back and forth in the wind, like a piece of paper held on with tape. Bubba retracts from your hand to pull down some bales with ease, stacking them into something roughly resembling a couch.

He flops down on them with only a slight rustle of the hay, obviously more comfortable than the little rusty metal ones at the table. He sits up and pats the bale beside him. You walk over and flop next to him, looking around to see that Nubbins is nowhere close by, you wrap your hand around his and lean into him. Between the heavy overalls you have on guarding you from the itchy hay and this space heater of a man, you're warm and comfy. Bubba gazes down at you and envelops you in his arms. He too is very comfortable.

---

"I think they're in the house, I couldn't really tell you!"

You hear Nubbins in the distance, it sounds like he's yelling to Drayton and Chop Top but you can't be sure.

They can't possibly be back yet unless...

Bubba's asleep. You were asleep. How long have you been out? How long have they been home? Is Nubbins covering for you?

"Well tell them if you see them before us that Chop Top and I are making lunch and they'll be too late if they don't get themselves up here!" Drayton sounded like he was content for the moment but if you didn't get to the house soon you'd be in big trouble. Footsteps trail around the back of the barn, Nubbins peaks in and whispers loudly to the both of you.

"Get yourselves together love birds! Drayton's gonna whoop my ass if you two don't get in this house soon. It'll be real bad! So hurry on up!" He blows a raspberry at the now awake Bubba who groans at the thought. You look up to see the bottom of his mask has rolled up to reveal a normal looking chin and mouth, a freshly shaven face is hidden by the mask every day and you don't get to see it so this is a glance you didn't expect. As he starts to roll down his mask, you grab his hand. He looks at you scared and worried.

"I'm not going to take it off" you smile at him and he calms, holding onto your hands. "I just want to try something and you have to tell me if you're uncomfortable okay? I won't ever try to make you uncomfortable."

Bubba nods at you, his left hand trailing up your arm, resting on the nape of your neck where he can run his fingers along your hairline. As you lean in for a kiss, he closes the gap. Your lips touch and he pulls you in closer, holding you in his arms.

Bliss. You may have been kissed before, but he was a whole other ballgame. He had never kissed before and there was a level of touch starvation that he was trying to cope with upon this embrace. He was holding you and being held by you at the same time and he was beyond happiness.

Bubba's depraved lips were soft as silk and cherry flavored as they grazed over yours, his cologne thick but not overpowering smelt of burning oak wood in a crackling fireplace. The only fire here is one of desire and soon you would both be burning. His hands crept up and down your back and hips, trailing over your hands and back to your hair. Soon enough you felt smooth shaven skin and soft pillowy lips crawling down your chin and neck, circling your shoulder. You were completely and utterly surrendered and victim to his tender embrace.

*horribly obnoxious phone ringing*

Bubba breathed hard letting you go, a sigh escaping his lips as he pulled his mask down again. You reach into your pocket and pick up the phone. Of course, Drayton was getting finicky.

"Where are you kids? Your jobs couldn't have taken that long!"

"Sorry Drayton we'll be right there!" He hung up and you could see the dissapointment in Bubba's eyes. You were dissapointed too but relieved because you weren't sure how far that could have gone. "Sorry Bubba, Drayton wants us at the house."

He grunted as he stood up, helping you up after him. He held your hand as you walked back to the house. You didn't get a snack, instead you got a whole lot of a hot take.

---

The birds squawked and cooed softly as you passed by, echoing the same calmness that filled the breeze. In that breeze came the smell of lunch: a mixture of fried eggs, bacon, fried apples, little crunchy potatoes and fresh squeezed orange juice. The taste of cherry carmex chap stick still lay thick on your lips as Bubba walked beside you.

It was going to be the best job you could ever have dreamed of.

[mailorderfictionalcharacter]

I actually wanna thank you for your text post about the weird trend (that is still very much ongoing) about writing articles or talking about Rory as a product of how she was raised or her privilege. Tbh I never really took any of those arguments or even people saying that Logan somehow "taught her about her privilege" seriously because even after their argument over the article, this never happens? And frankly he was more angry with her over the fact that she criticized people that he considers similar to himself, I highly doubt that if Rory was a lower-middle class person on a scholarship to Yale that he even would've extended any support or interest in the article beyond being angry over it in general. Anyway, I think viewers give the show way too much credit sometimes in how it deals with class differences because the truth is it never really does. It never brings up class differences as a topic in Rory's relationships with Dean and Jess or even with Logan, since yeah, Rory does have rich grandparents, but she never lives the rich life the way he does, and you could even argue she's less sheltered than he is since given her and Lorelai's history, as you mentioned they pretty much went through three social classes in different times. The most she does live it is in about 3 months in that period in season 6 when she took a break, and like you mentioned, she never treats it as a fully conscious "I'll be a rich person doing rich people things now", it's literally just her taking up anything because she doesn't know what to to with herself. And aside from having her tuition fees being paid for firstly by her grandparents and then by her father later on, we never really see either of those people have to pull strings in order for Rory to get a job. Sure, her grandparents WANT her to meet people and make connections, but this is never really brought forth as a reason for Rory to like, get a big job she wanted at the New York Times or anything of the sort. And yeah, Rory gets into Yale pretty much because of her grandfather's connections, but even this is never framed in a way that is conscious of how even with the Chilton education and her hard work, you'd need a connection to get into such a prestigious and pretty exclusive Ive League. It's pretty much the same situation in the revival as well, people immediately guessed that she MUST HAVE spent through her allowance left for her by her grandparents, but we literally never see that happen? I believe that even when the head writer was asked as to how Rory was able to fly so frequently between London and Connecticut, her response was "she has a lot of flyer miles saved up". And considering how these writers went back and forth between "Luke has a LOT of money" to "Luke can't even afford a car", they obviously sooner forgot about Rory having a large sum of money prepared for her by her grandparents than make some very Deep message that Rory actually spent all of it because she's a spoiled rich brat or something. In general the show would always bring up class differences as a way to insert relationship drama, and this isn't even framed as a "you have more money than me" scenario, it's often instigated by the grandparents and it's always based around the idea of someone being lesser just because they're not rich, but just as this is quickly inserted is this taken away because the drama has ran it's course now, we don't need any more of it, bye. So yeah, that's my two cents on the matter.

I feel like the way people argue over Gilmore Girls or make jokes about how Lorelai is actually very spoiled because "ugh its just dinner with her family she's asking for all this money and can't even sit through that", or just the general way in which a LOT of people seem to love viewing Rory (which I chalk partly up to them just being desperate to follow this ongoing trend now where we all 'consciously' reassess media we used to love when we were younger and its actually horrible and all these characters that we liked turned into terrible people with bad politics because Subversiveness or whatever. And its not to say that Rory is only ever perfect because she isn't, her story just isn't about a kid turning evil) is a combination of today's times where we're obviously a lot more aware of certain issues and topics than most people used to be 20 years ago, but it's also this weird trend where we have to bash everything that doesn't remotely uphold these bizarre standards that aren't even set right. Yes, Gilmore Girls isn't perfect by far, but 20 years ago it was significant because it featured a cast of women that were in the forefront. Obviously its a product of its own time as everything else is, but it's also pretty unchangeable and even the revival made it clear that the material has just aged and more or less belongs in its own time. And that doesn't mean it's exempt from being criticized, but even it's own awareness of its characters is pretty limited based off of when it aired and was created.

Like.. also thank you very much for sharing this moment of taking Gilmore Girls seriously with me. 

In response to:

I feel like the way people argue over Gilmore Girls or make jokes about how Lorelai is actually very spoiled because "ugh its just dinner with her family she's asking for all this money and can't even sit through that"

Honestly there seemed to be a somewhat emotionally abusive element to the Emily-Lorelai relationship. Like, not the type where someone is consciously manipulative or disregards their child’s feelings on purpose, but the type where you try to raise a kid to live a good life without ever reassessing or allowing your child to have agency in deciding what their good life should look like. 

For example, I’m thinking about Lorelai’s parent’s trying to force her to marry Christopher but also the little things we’ve seen in flashbacks. Like, the scene where she doesn’t fit her dress because of her secret teen pregnancy and when Emily notices Emily is very critical and tells her to run around the block (because oh, the horror of gaining ~5 pounds and not fitting a dress). 

**

Gilmore Girls isn’t the Perfect Text but it holds a special place in my heart for showing a multigenerational complicated family dynamic. In my own life, my family is complicated with generations of trauma, social norms, discomforts, and what have you regularly clashing and Gilmore Girls will always hold a special place in my heart for embracing messy family dynamics instead of creating sanitized characters.