#really delusional simps

[wayfayrr]

Hello! I was rereading your self aware series and I got to Wild’s and was like “Wait a minute… I know the boys don’t hold anything against reader for playing their games a lot but… what if reader was just a really bad gamer?” So like, I’m terrible at video games. But I love to play them! So I was wondering if the self aware boys could really not hold anything against reader if reader was just exceptionally bad at their game and caused them lots of pain? For example, I killed Link (ACCIDENTALLY) about 8 times last night during a single shrine… and that’s just my average gaming experience. I was just curious if the boys ever get mad or something after falling off a bridge for the gazillionth time whenever bad gamer reader grabs the controller. Is it like a love hate relationship? Like they go “Yes! My love has graced me with their presence!” *The realization hits.* “Oh no… not again.”

literally got this ask while watching @peepthatbish play skyward sword badly /lh/hj (love ya peep, even if you are stressful to watch play and we even talked about this exact thing a couple times!)

There really isn't much that they could hold against you, because when they've fallen for you, they're more than a bit delusional. Anyway you play the game in their minds is just you spending time with them. with that said though I honestly think they'd also blame themselves for getting hurt, are their controls that hard? what are they doing wrong? can they make it any easier for you? Sure they got hurt but you healed them!!!! they're so delusional that even just hurting them for fun can be rationalised in their minds (not that you would right? right???)

but I said not much right? well something they would hate you (or more themselves) for though? Rage quitting. They would rather you sitting there laughing, repeatedly intentionally killing them over you leaving the game like that. Because then you aren't with them, they're back in control of their own body because their game was too hard for you to play. it's their fault you abandoned them. They don't care how you spend time on their game just that you do and they respect that you can't play 24/7, they understand that! but quitting because it's too hard destroys them.

[thewayuarent]

When things start to fail

SandRay edition

Yes, me again talking about SandRay as I’m their personal therapist good for me I guess. Disclaimer: I do not judge nor Sand or Ray, the most important thing to remember is that all of characters are young stupid insecure boys so everything happening makes a lot of sense. Also let’s remember that it is not about good/bad or right/wrong, it’s about complexity people and their relationships have.

So, this week they’ve reached an interesting point, haven’t they? The point when their mostly surprisingly good communications stars to fall apart. And it was inevitable. Nick and especially Boston don’t minding their own business certainly accelerated the process, but at some point it was going to happen anyway. Because the ultimate question “who are we to each other” been hanging over their heads for some time now and do my boys tried their best to avoid it. But let’s start from so-so good things.

SandRay day together. Ray goes for it like it’s an adventure, not someones real life experience. And of course he is - Ray lives in a different world and Sand’s hardships are not something he’s familiar with. @lurkingshan made a great post about how Ray constantly sees Sand as someone beneath him at well of course he is. And I love what @neuroticbookworm says here that Ray does it unintentionally - that’s just not something he ever experienced in his life. Ray is shamelessly rich and he was like this all his life. I would very surprised if he behaved differently.

That’s interesting tho - I think Ray sincerely enjoys every experience he has with Sand. And in some way he sees Sand as embodiment of freedom. For Ray a lot of it is about wind in a face, and listening new music, and laughing, and drinking, and kissing, and flirting and almost jerking off but no and not thinking about his real problems. For Sand it’s his life. It’s tough and exhausting, but still worth living.

Sand’s 24 hours. I truly appreciate Sand’s approach to life. He tells us that he has 24 hours in a day to work, sleep, being alone and - what I love about him - to dream. And I’m not saying that his life isn’t hard, it absolutely is. But despite that he still has some little things to enjoy. He dreams big. He makes beautiful breakfasts and knows places where to find good music. He has fun in a secondhand store. He finds his happiness in discovering new bands. He allows himself to get drunk and get high.

And I don’t think he never does any of it before Ray. But Ray is important, because Ray is someone he can share all this things with. And while Ray constantly being a bit jerk about that he is really into everything Sand gives to him (subtext here was unintentional but yes, sex is obviously a part of it too). And maybe Ray’s presence allows Sand to let himself go with a flow a bit more. Maybe Ray also symbolizes freedom for Sand.

And I believe that freedom is something both of them desperately need - Ray from his painful past, Sand from his exhausting present. And it all would be so good, it was mostly good for a lot of time, but. Hints were all there since the beginning.

Communication falling apart. So we see them generally enjoying each other. We see them being open and honest with each other. The whole scene where they discuss parents is about trust and vulnerability and it deserves its own post.

Very good-friends-behavior happening here. But also kind of not. And not only because them being ready to fuck each other on a constant basis. Which was hilarious by the way - three attempts to get nasty and all being ruined (1. Thank you Nick; 2. Sand being not so into public sex I guess I don’t believe him for a second he’s clearly into it but whatever; 3. Thank you Nick again and now you bring the whole drama with you good job). But all this cute boyfriends stuff happens left and right? Hugging and smiling on a ride?

Being so into each other that random girl said bye bless you?

Fucking serenade?

Like, guys, you’re not even trying. And they don’t talk about it at all. The last attempt to clarify their relationship was in episode 3 with Sand asking what kind of friends doesn’t stop kissing each other. And than they just. Moved on and never questioned it again?

They are the only couple (of the main three) in the show who doesn’t discuss their status. Even Nick and Boston do it! They are suck at it but it’s at least something. And it’s like Sand and Ray played a bit too much in going with a flow thing.

Sand tells this to his mom

And he seems really upset when Ray says that are friends

And again when Ray says not boyfriend fuck off Nick

And I get it, it really sucks. He is totally in love and his heart breaks a little bit twice in a row.

But it’s Sand who said that

And that

And that one like couple hours ago

So I feel for Sand and I am really sorry for him - my boy fell fast and hard but it’s not like Ray has any idea what Sand wants from him. Oh, wait, he has. Kind of. And he actually tries to make amends and clear the situation. Kind of.

It’s Sand this time who closes up, loosing to his fears and insecurities - and I would guess his last relationship has something to do with this. And of course Ray doesn’t push him into that conversation after one failed attempt. Because he is totally scared of ruining things. And it is so much easier to continue to pretend, for both of them, isn’t it?

It’s also smart thing to not having that conversation before they sober up but will they talk? I doubt it. Also is Ray ever sober, he has a serious problem, my poor boy. Him finishing two glasses of liquor in a row after fight was painful to watch. But I digress.

And the thing is - it isn’t even that tragic. Yes, Ray has feelings for Mew - he tries to move on, he doesn’t expect anything, but feelings (especially so long-lasted) doesn’t go away in a moment. And Ray has a right to falling for Sand while still falling out of Mew. Shit like this happens a lot in real life. It doesn’t mean Sand isn’t special to him only because someone else is.

And I kind of think that they would work it out somewhat fine. Not great, but fine. But here it is, our Boston card. Yes, I blame Boston, that’s my conclusion.

Conclusion. Judging by what we saw in trailer I’m gonna predict that this episode was a start for both Sand and Ray being miscommunication mess. Because both of them are falling for each other. And both are very scared of it.

This is not going to be easy. They will pretend they don’t care for each other and most importantly - that they have no expectations towards each other. They clearly have. We see it with Sand and the moment Sand decides fuck it I’m done we will see it with Ray.

This shit needs a lot of hard work. Will they be able to go for that? Do they even need it? I don’t know. Let’s hope that they will. Or at least that they won’t ruin each other totally over failed relationship.

[biscuitrule]

Because Lucy is oblivious™️ and the books are in her pov we can watch the show and see other characters and events from a third person perspective and reasonably accept it and apply it as cannon in the bookverse too if we want and I think that’s beautiful

[i-am-distressed]

OKAY BUT REAL TALK (excuse me I must gush)

Noritoshi is so hot and for what? Like sir this is a violation ??

And the fact he’s so hot and barely has stans?? But actual evil character do ?? Toji I’m glaring at you

LIKE GIVE THIS MAN ATTENTION HES HOT STOTIC AND SMART??

I'm hearing and i am agreeing, no need to apologize as this may as well be a noritoshi simping blog. I've been wondering this same thing since I first saw the anime😔😔

Anon u speak only facts, he is attractive, smart, a tad bit pretentious😩, a very well done character with lots of opportunity for improvement and growth and uhm hes just kind of cool??! Some day anon😔 someday he'll be recognized with lots of fans and merch🥲🥲 it has to happen sometime🥲🥲🥲

[jeennieluv]

realising that i relate a little bit too much to boyfriend by big time rush is no joke the thing that caused me to get over a 2 year crush

[edenesth]

[9:15 PM]

"Oh my god, that guy is totally your type!" a girl squealed, nudging her friend to look at the gorgeous man across the street.

Her friend giggled, shushing her, "You're right, but stop being so obvious! He's gonna think we're weird!"

"I doubt it. If anything, I think he's already got his eyes on you," she replied, nodding towards him. And she was right—he was looking in her friend's direction, a charming smile on his face as he bit his lip shyly. "Will you go talk to him?"

"I-I mean, I don't know..."

Oh god, I don't need this right now.

You rolled your eyes, eavesdropping on the conversation in front of you. Typical young girls. The light had turned green, and they were still busy debating whether to approach the tall, handsome guy across the street. "Excuse me. Last I checked, your father doesn't own the road. If you're not planning to move, please step aside. Some of us have places to be," you grumbled, pushing past them.

One of them scoffed, annoyed. "Ugh, whatever! Keep that attitude, and no man will ever want you, lady!"

You snorted, nodding sarcastically. "Yes, thank you. I definitely need advice from delusional little girls like you."

"Wha—delusional?! Who do you think you're calling delusional…" Her words trailed off as she watched you walk straight into the welcoming arms of the dreamy guy they had been ogling moments ago. The realisation hit, and embarrassment washed over them. That man had been looking at you all along, not at either of them.

Your boyfriend chuckled, holding you close and kissing your head. "Oh my love, you're so cute when you're annoyed. Did you really have to call them out like that, hm? They would've realised I was yours by the time you got here anyway."

You huffed. "I'd like to see you be so graceful if you heard two guys talking about me the way they just did about you."

He grinned, squeezing you tighter. "Oh baby, you know damn well that I can handle it."

Pulling away slightly, you glared up at him, irritated because he was right and you knew it. This annoyingly perfect man. "I do, and I hate that you're right." He laughed, leaning in to capture your lips in a loving kiss. "Oh come on, you know you love it."

"I do love it... love you, Yuyu."

He softened. "I love you too, baby."

Biting your lip, you cupped his face. "Tell me, my wonderful amazing boyfriend... are those two still watching?"

"Oh my god," he rolled his eyes. "Were you just trying to show off and make them jealous? They left as soon as they realised what was happening."

You groaned, pushing him away and starting your walk back to your shared home. "Ugh, you're telling me we did all that and no one even enjoyed the show?"

He gasped. "A show?! Come here, you—"

Little did you know, that was a lie. The girls were still watching enviously as he chased after you, your shrieks echoing across the quiet streets on a Wednesday night as he tickled your face with endless kisses as playful punishment.

Damn, I guess we were quite delusional...

ATEEZ Masterlist

Look what you did to me, @itstheghostofmypast, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Yuyu lately and it's all your fault🙈💕besides that, man's been looking mighty fine lately, it's hella annoying.

Hope y'all enjoyed this random little timestamp HAHA and as always, let me know your thoughts! <3

General ATEEZ Tag list:

@aurasblue @marievllr-abg @itsvxlentine @minghaoslatina @huachengsbestie01 |

@evidive @weedforthoughtz @minkiflwr @cheolliehugs @ho3-for-yunho |

@the-kpop-simp @itstheghostofmypast @vantediary @green-agent @skzline |

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@bangtannie7 @vtyb23

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

[lixie-phoria]

bff!stray kids and the little things they do when they have a crush on you

pairing : stray kids x reader | genre : fluff | warnings : none

🧿 ┆ CHAN - he stalks your pinterest saves to see your latest interests

He doesn't do it in a creepy way, i promise. he just likes to go through your latest pins and find out what you're into and surprise you without you even having to tell him!! He spoils you so much :(( You recently saved a really cute fit inspo? He's going to order it for you. Saw you saving pins of pretty bouquets? You'll find the very same one in his hands as he picks you up from work. This man is such a sweetheart you're so lucky.

🧿┆ LEE KNOW - purposely forget his hoodies and tshirts at your place so you can wear them

Is it really an accident that he forgot his hoodie at your house for the fifteenth time even after you reminded him multiple times? Of course! Or at least that's what minho insists. He's never going to tell you that he intentionally forgets them at your place because it gives you an excuse to wear it. he will never tell you how delusional he is and how much it plays into his fantasies of you dating him when he sees you in his clothes. He's such a simp lmao please.

🧿 ┆ CHANGBIN - will buy anything that reminds him of you

He misses you so much on tour and can't stop thinking about you :(( even the smallest objects remind him of you. He goes to a beach in Australia and sees a shell whose colors match those of a really pretty dress you have? He's going to take it without a second thought, somehow managing to make a hole in it and looping an expensive chain through it because the shell may be simple but he loves spoiling you rotten with expensive gifts too. He sees a potted plant in some foreign country that looks somewhat like the one you have at your place? Of course he's going to buy it. Please don't ask him how he plans on getting it through airport security. He's too busy thinking about you to worry about all that!!

🧿 ┆ HYUNJIN - he lets only you paint his nails and do his make up!!

He's going to be sooo whiny as you drag him into the cosmetics store at the mall but anyone can see the stars in his eyes as he looks at your excited smile. The second you're in he's going to be all over the place, picking out items he thinks would go well with your features. And if you want to try out any of the products, he's offering himself before you can even pick the samples. Loves to have you paint his nails, try a new shade of lip gloss on his skin or the texture of a new blush. he will do anything for you. he does not care about the looks he gets as he proudly walks around with all 10 finger nails painted in mismatched colours.

🧿 ┆ HAN - He always let's you have the first bite of food

lover boy is so whipped i cannot stress enough. whenever you guys go on dates hang out, he purposely orders a starter he knows you like and insists you have the first bite. always. if you accompany him on set he remembers to carry snacks so he can share them with you and fights any member who tries to take some hahaha

🧿 ┆ FELIX - always takes your input when getting ready for a comeback

you see all those funky hair colors felix sports every comeback and pulls them off every single time? yeah thats all you. never once has he failed to ask you what colors you'd like to see him in. and he won't listen to you complain about how it might potentially damage his hair. you want to see him in blue? he's already texting his hair stylist l. you've been into purple lately? he's already discussing the different shades with you. it's so sweet and he loves it when he can finally show you the new look.

🧿 ┆ SEUNGMIN - "accidentally" takes your stuff so it gives him an excuse to drop it off at your place and see you

seungmin being upfront about his crush on you? of course not. he's such a baby lmao will never have the courage to tell you but he also doesn't know how to explain why he always wants to be around you. so he comes up with a (supposedly) fool proof plan!! he takes your stuff whenever you guys hang out so it gives him an excuse to come over and give it you later on. if you're ever missing a clutch clip or your lip gloss best believe he has it. and watch him laugh it off as an accident. he gets so embarrassed when the other 7 see right through him hahaha but he'd rather be teased because its worth seeing you

🧿 ┆ JEONGIN - aggressively confesses his love for you

he's so adorable. he isn't really sure how to navigate your relationship because its all so new to him but he also wants you to know that he genuinely likes you. so he sticks to saying i-love-you's at the most random times and so aggressively it nearly scared you the first time. so many of his good morning texts read along the lines of good morning i hope you're up or i will splash water down your pretty face. don't forget breakfast because it's important for you. if you forget it, i will fight you. i love you 😠😠😠😠 but once you catch on it's obviously got you giggling and blushing because it's such a jeongin thing to do and honestly how could you not fall for him when he's just awkwardly trying to confess how much he's in love with you

tags : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @jiisungllvr (send an ask to be added/removed)

©lixie-phoria, 2023

[suguru-getos]

jjk men as the type of yanderes:

characters included: gojo, geto, yuta, megumi, sukuna

gojo satoru:

yandere tendency: manipulative, overpowered, soft.

gojo satoru is the type of yandere who will be fine with most of your antics. his little baby trying so hard to annoy him? how absolutely adorable of her. the thing is, he also knows he is too powerful for you and that subjecting you to that power is going to have consequences. he's always kind, nice, happy-go-lucky around you. he tries to take the subtle route, ask you out for dates and stuff but he lacks patience. he has so much love to offer he can't wait for you to reciprocate. he would eventually just kidnap you. however you get everything you want and need. he wouldn't even take your phone away, just don't talk to men and don't even… dare. to talk. about. leaving him. that triggers him. the only time he has been truly, unforgiving and blinding hot with his rage was when you fled away from the gojo estate. you saw him dancing around in the sky, floating with a maniacal grin as you tried to hide amongst the flooded trees in the estate where he just chanted. "no matter where you go, I will find you always, come out on your own and you won't see daddy's punishments." he meant it, and you didn't have the guts to disobey him. like a squeaky, meek rat, you came out from under one of the trees, satoru in front of you looking down with gritted jaw. "haven't I given you enough?" his hold on your jaw is firm as he picks you up, tosses you over his shoulder and walks back to the estate. his coldness is difficult to handle since he's always simping around you, but let's say you needed to re-assure him that you wouldn't leave by giving him your first kiss. he doesn't really do forcing but you'd much rather have the old satoru back. this one has trust issues and this one knows how to manipulate you. "you know one of these days you'd make me so angry I kill everyone you hold dear princess. it wouldn't be something I would want to do… but I- i- just lose control." scary, nice, and ever so kind and manipulative>

geto suguru:

yandere tendency: hot and cold, gaslighting, extremely loving.

suguru is simple and patient. as long as you are in front of his eyes he does not mind anything at all. however, there are times when his carefully twisted smile turns into a frown whenever you disobey him. suguru is good to you when you are good to him. if you do not listen to him then there are punishments for everything. maybe you wouldn't get to talk to your friends for a week. "you don’t deserve me being so kind when all you do is hurt me." suguru knows how to bend you to his will, when you get rebellious over it and ex: stop eating food, he does not have any problem forcing food down your throat by keeping one of his curses latched to your body. what else can you do? vomit it out?? out of sheer spite?? suguru geto has a solution for everything. if you do so, he's going to pretend he's surrendering, hold you in his arms and be so kind as if he's so guilty for making 'you' act up. if only he'd been good enough yeah? then you wouldn't be so rebellious. he's going to be so good, show his true devotion to you. aw? why're you crying? he's just trying to make you cum! over and over and over! hey! it’s just body worship. don't squirm away angel… at the end of it you're a sobbing, overstimulated mess and bent down to his will. suguru can make punishments sexual because he's delusional enough to think that giving you painful pleasure is not equal to hurting you. he would give you so much aftercare though, call you perfect, call you a champion for dealing with it, give you body massages, if you really don't bend to his will… he's manipulative enough to kneel down and stain your thighs with his tears as he leans his head on your thigh and mumbles how sorry he truly feels.

yuta okkutsu:

yandere tendency: too nice, forgiving, delusional.

yuta knows being couped up like this does not feel nice. he calls you his little hummingbird. because you sound so adorable begging and screaming to be freed. if only he could do that. "the world outside is really bad baby, I'm sure you don't know that and I'm so glad you don't. I will make sure you wouldn't know anything about it as well." he has you on his lap, forcing a hug and tearing up whenever you resist. his heart gets instantly broken when you resist his affections though. that… makes him extremely dramatic. why would you do that to him? hasn't he been nice? yuta would never willingly, knowingly hurt you. never… but accidents happen okay? especially when someone loves you so much, then the betrayal also brings the worst emotions there is. he would 'accidentally' break your wrist by holding you too tight when you're squirming away, would accidentally cause you dizzy spells by kissing you too hard. you're just so delectable and so easily broken how can someone like him keep steady? after the accidents happen yuta changes, he almost goes… distant. as if he does not trust himself around you. around his precious little baby… until it re-starts all over again. however, he does have a stern belief that you love him too. you're just too shy to accept. his beautiful, shy little thing.

fushiguro megumi:

yandere tendency: stern, disciplining, in-control

fushiguro is no stranger to the twisted feeling that brims within the depths of his heart whenever he sees you. but he also knows that it would be futile to expect you to feel the same. he knows he needs to earn it. but god- when you love someone else already? why did you have to do that? can't you really see you were meant for him? the logical part him tries to overpower the illogical, love-sick version and fantasy of you taking his cock and belly full with his kids but falls in vain. megumi really is sorry… when he strangles your partner to death in front of you. he really does not want you to see it, but then how else will he show you what he is capable of? what he can do if you do not listen to him? he lets you take your space after and grieve in his bedroom, which is now your shared bedroom. the first few weeks, you're too terrified of him to not listen to him. however… he doesn't even touch you. you just have a few set of rules. eat on time, sleep on time, come to him for anything and forget about everything except him. he would sit beside you and run his hands through your hair, soothing you through the breakdowns. "I will tolerate this for as long as you need, but do know… that man is dead for a reason. no person in love with you is allowed to live. except me." megumi is almost unhinged with his feelings and there would be repercussions. for example: you said you would rather die than love him? how can you say that? have you seen the future? no right? then how could you say that? nothing breaks a brat better than some spanking. the humiliation intermingled with the pain is sure to set you straight. and yes- it does. at the end of it, you're too bent to his will, seeking comfort from him as you cry out against his chest and he softly coos sweet nothings against your ear.

ryomen sukuna:

yandere tendency: sadistic, lethal, manipulative, selfish

half of the time, sukuna does not acknowledge that he has fallen for a human. you're torn with the king of curses fighting with his own self, and still keeping you close. sukuna does not show affection normally. he is the master of evil, the pure reincarnation of all the negativity. at first he would keep you with him. his true form is too big and too scary for you to retaliate either. you just need to be a puppet. he hates and loves it how you are so teeny tiny compared to him. a feeble little human, his little lamb. he often threatens you with pure violence. he would rip a finger out and heal you with reversed curse techniques since he does not like his masterpiece broken. rules are simple: you do what sukuna sama desires and what sukuna sama wants. otherwise- you suffer the punishments. there are times where he had been cruel enough to eat your past relationships in front of you, alive, the sound of gnawing at flesh as he consumes them while the high adrenaline keeping them alive is your worst nightmare. you are allowed to throw up, it is a gory sight of course. but then you must apologize for being filthy in front of your master by sitting on both his cocks. very unhinged, the scariest yandere in the jjk-verse imo.

[sordidmusings]

Tender Love and Care - Hair Care (Buggy x Reader)

Art by Capitanpoops (link keeps expiring QnQ)

A/N: Ah yes, another 'taking care of Buggy's head' fic to take up space on the internet. Just gotta indulge in giving this man some tlc. Did I write four thousand words of simping for the cringefail pirate clown's hair? Yes. And I'd do it again >:p

Word Count: ~4 k

Warnings: feminine leaning afab!reader (no pronouns or gendered titles), Lots of Feelings, yearning, possibly angst?, probably hurt/comfort?, waxing very poetic, Buggy being a prickly bitch who doesn't know how to receive affection, Buggy also being a delusional bitch who immediately latches on to that affection

amab!Version

Next ->

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

“Touch the makeup and I’ll bite your fingers off!”

“I’m quaking.”

“...I’ll spit in your face.” His eyes narrowed while you blanched. “I’ve got damn good aim too so you better watch those big ol’ eyes.” Almost a compliment? Progress.

“To save us both from catastrophe, I’ll let you keep your grease-face,” you promised. After a few more seconds of giving you the stink eye (really, you should be taking notes because his form is exemplary), Buggy finally settled back into your hold. His stubble scratched lightly at your palms and you allowed your thumbs a scant few passes from his cheek bones to the back of his jaw. That was easy enough to play off as mindless movements while you examined him for the coming wash. Hopefully.  You were at least putting in the effort to keep the affection in your chest from blooming into a wide smile on your face, lest he begin spitting like a wet cat again.

After placing him down on your clothes chest, you began gathering together the things you’d need to clean him up. You had already prepared a large basin of steaming water before you had grabbed Buggy from Zoro for your night shift with him. If he had truly protested against you then you’d just have extra water to pamper yourself with for your nightly routine. What a loss. While you flitted around grabbing a cup, a pile of towels, and care products, Buggy took to commenting about whatever his eyes fell on around your room. Your half-assed replies did nothing to discourage his gentle roast of your safe space. He only shut up when you picked him back up and brought him over to the basin.

You were taken by surprise when you took off his bandana.  You had guessed that his hair was thick from the pieces that framed his face, but you hadn’t expected long locks to be wrapped up in there. They slipped and fell down like silk despite being in clear need of a wash, and you started to become a bit excited to see how they would come to shine under your care.

“What’s wrong with you? Never seen hair before?” There was a bit more bite to him all of a sudden and it hit you that he may be self-conscious from your staring.

“Never seen yours before, duh,” you teased. “You should wear your hair out as a power move against all the scrangly ass men in these waters.”

Buggy took a blank-faced moment to process your words. Probably weighing your sincerity against the backlog of insults he’s heard in his life. Unfortunately, one joking compliment never stood a chance.

“Whatever, just do your job.” His bitter tone made you keep your mouth shut and drop the topic. For now.

Seeing how he had a lot more hair than anticipated, you got up again to grab yet another towel so that you could use it as a cushion. Finally settled, you grabbed Buggy in one hand, the cup in the other, and got to work. You had laid a small board across the basin so you could rest Buggy on it instead of having to hold him up the whole time. You may have gotten strong in this life, but you were not masochistic enough to try holding him up throughout this process. You made sure to be extra gentle when you put him to rest on the back of his head, mindful that the hard plank wasn’t the most comfortable.

Wetting his hairline was taking longer than you thought. The soft noises from the pouring water hitting his scalp and trickling through his hair into the basin below felt loud in the stillness of the room. Everything had a languid air like you could breathe freely without thought or time to measure the passing of each exhale. Wanting to check in, you looked down from your task and into Buggy’s face. Despite all his past showboating, Buggy was having difficulty keeping his gaze anywhere near your face.  You decided to take pity on him in his discomfort but not too much. “So how’d you get your damn good aim?”

Silence.

You’re beginning to think that him looking at you like you’re stupid is his comfort zone.

“You know, that ‘damn good aim’ that makes my ‘big ol’ eyes’ easy targets?” you supplied.  At first, you thought he would roll his eyes and make more digs at you, but he finally caught you off guard.

“It’s a trade secret,” he said with a growing smile and a glint in his eyes. His face grew even more pleased when you smiled mischievously back at him.

“Clown trade?”

He hummed out an affirmative. You saturated the last of his hair at the front and sides and now needed to dunk the rest in the basin. The sheer amount of long blue locks that this pretty, pretty man had may cause it to overflow, but you supposed that’s just a workplace hazard when becoming a glamor clown’s hairdresser. You paused in lowering him to look around quite dramatically (squinty eyes, pursed lips, and all) before leaning slightly closer to stage whisper, “You can tell me; I ain’t no snitch.”

You barely caught the laugh that he choked short in order to keep up his serious facade. He let his eyes wander the room to double check your surveying and pretended to be in thought. He let out a heaving sigh and said, “Okay, okay, but you have to lean in close. Can’t have this getting out.”

Ever obliging, you turned your head and leaned until you felt his warm breath on your skin and the roundness of his nose tickling to top of your ear. You were thankful he couldn’t see the little shiver down your spine or the goosebumps spreading down your neck. He was thankful you couldn’t see him close his eyes to savor the scent of your perfume. All was still for a few breaths too long.

“The secret?” you prompted, thinking he was waiting for your urging or that he was just trying to make you squirm. You didn’t see his eyes flutter open while he forced thoughts other than your closeness back into that head of his. Okay, he really needed to do something to reel himself back in and get some control of the situation.  Easier said than done when he’s only a head.

You felt as much as you heard him take a deliberate inhale… only for a loud raspberry to be blown right next to your ear.

Nearly dropping him in shock, you quickly pulled your head back and held him at arm’s length like a misbehaved puppy. Through his canting cackles, Buggy met your wide eyes with a proud grin. It didn’t even need the help of his makeup to split his face. Damn, you could stare at that forever. He had just the prettiest eyes you think you’d ever seen. The way they shifted color under the low lights and sparkled with his smile had you feeling entranced. It had the same commanding presence and addicting warmth as flames with their own swirling colors and sparking embers. You thought your poetic idioms for him would always center around the sea, especially for his blue-green eyes, but here we are.

The corner of his smile started to twitch downward under your stare until wild and cheerful giggles burst from your lips. They were the kind to shake your shoulders and scrunch your cheeks up into your eyes and he’s now certain that he has fucked right up. Buggy felt alarms blaring in his mind as he took in your joy and was certain he would make an absolute fool of himself in any and all ways possible to keep getting hits of it. Between your settling laughter, you managed to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll bring that wisdom with me to my grave.”

Readjusting your grip, you moved forward and dunked the back of Buggy’s head fully into the water. He sighed out at the sensation, but he fully melted when one of your hands went to support the back of his skull and the other flowed through his tresses to make sure all of them were wet. You let yourself take your time, both to make sure you were thorough and to indulge yourself in the comfort of the moment. A tenderness spread through you when you saw that this was also indulging Buggy. His breath was slow and steady, and his eyes were resting closed to better focus on the sensations coming to him. You truly were a people pleaser at heart and seeing someone so bedraggled and affection-starved accept your care made your heart and head feel fuzzy.

You slowly leaned him more upright and used your other hand to wipe out some of the excess water. Buggy felt you shuffling around, and his eyes opened to see what you were up to. After you moved him to rest on the flat bottom of his neck on top of the softest towel that he’s felt in ages, he realized that you went through the trouble to try to make even that wooden board comfortable for his sake. He was starting to feel even more uncertain and out of his element.

Careful fingers carded through and spread out his hair behind him while an equally careful gaze watched over their work. After lathering your hands with a shampoo bar scented by vanilla and spices, you set to work giving him the scalp massage of a lifetime.

While focusing on doing the best job possible and maybe also the beautiful color of his hair was keeping you from thinking about anything else, Buggy had no such luxury. He had nothing to direct his nervous energy at - didn’t even have fingers to fidget with! - so he closed his eyes and tried to keep his face neutral. Everyone enjoys a good scalp massage or at least some kind of pampering so it wouldn’t have been weird for him to visibly enjoy it, but something watery and vulnerable was pressing at his throat under your tender care. His mind and body (well… head) were at odds. While his train of thought spun every which way only to be tethered back to the word ‘why’, his muscles melted until they were soft and pleasantly limp. Has his brow ever been so smooth? His jaw so loose? His lips so softly set? Oh God, you must have noticed the stubborn stiffness in his neck because your fingers abandoned his hair to firmly rub from the base of his skull to where he met the towel and that was truly his undoing.

With a rumbly hum, Buggy finally gave in to temptation and tied his mind to your movements. He let himself imagine affection there - imagine that this was special and just for him. You’ve never tended to anyone else like this. You offered because you simply had to know what his hair felt like. You just wanted to touch him. You wanted it much more than you ever wanted to touch anyone else. If he opened his eyes and looked up at yours, he would see them pouring with love, just like your hands were, and you would look sweetly down at him with your pretty eyes and pretty smile and say lovely things and you’d love him-

You’d love him.

Fuck.

You noticed Buggy suddenly flinch under your hands and you tensed up.

“Are you okay? Did I snag your hair?” You hadn’t felt anything tug but you supposed you could’ve missed it.

Buggy cleared his throat before stiffly responding, “No. Keep going.”

Something thick in his tone caught your attention and you looked to see his expression was tense instead of the blissed out one you had admired not too long ago. That won’t do. You went back to the tried and true pressure points on the scalp that you knew from experience eased anyone up. Checking his face again, you noticed it was more relaxed but still too guarded for your tastes. Deciding he must be getting antsy, you switched to working the shampoo down his hair after getting a touch more product on your hands. The time it took to get it properly sudsed and rinsed was calm, despite the fact that there was some undercurrent to the air that felt charged. Maybe it was just from seeing the talkative and bratty clown be so subdued. As you began spreading conditioner through his hair, you decided that it was time to engage him again.

“This bar is my favorite; nothing makes my hair softer,” you said. Already, his hair was relaxing to glide even more smoothly between your fingers. You weren’t ready to give the feeling up, so you spent the entire time that the conditioner was setting to run your fingers through his hair.

Buggy couldn’t do anything at the moment to judge your claim, but the smell alone made him understand why it was your favorite. It matched that of the shampoo bar, but the richer ingredients in the conditioner highlighted the comforting tones of the vanilla and the sensuality of warm spices and wood. He relished in it on every inhale, hoping to unravel and memorize its every undertone. Was that a touch of orchid in there? A little pink peppercorn? Maybe some incense and amber at the base? Buggy suddenly felt ridiculous. He was never one to give much thought to fancy perfumes, yet here he was trying to dissect your scent like a sommelier tasting a new wine. 

You made quick work of rinsing his hair this final time and gently pushing and squeezing any excess water out. You set Buggy back on a towel, this time one that was spread on the floor. It was the one that you had just been sitting on. Buggy was embarrassed that he noticed and enjoyed the fact that he could still feel your body heat on it.

“How many of those things do you have?” Buggy scoffed as you pulled yet another towel over to dry his hair. You bopped his forehead with a finger in warning against further sass.

“You can never have too many. It’s something that you use daily and they come in handy during emergencies,” you explained.

“Oh yeah like what?”

“Well, I was thinking of situations like having to soak up a spill or blood, but the state of your hair definitely qualifies.”

The outburst was immediate.

“I KNEW YOU WERE MAKING FUN OF ME YOU DAMN LIAR! HOW DA-”

Good thing you were prepared for this and stuffed some of yet another towel into his screaming mouth. He bit down on it harshly and glared at you with all his might. Snarls and grumbles still made their way through the cloth, letting you know just how displeased he was. You were a little shocked to find that despite being gagged and despite just being a head that his glare still actually intimidated you. The time spent with the crew treating him like a harmless little pest had helped you forget that, when push came to shove, he could back up his talk with violence.

The brief glimpse of fear in your eyes gave him a twinge of satisfaction but mostly felt a lot more hollow than he’d expected. Wasn’t this what he wanted? 

When you reached back out to continue drying his hair, you were more tentative than he had ever seen you and his mood dropped even further. Even with your caution, the way that you moved the towel over his hair and gently squeezed more water out of it was filled with care. The whole thing felt very foreign to him. Buggy usually rubbed his towel through his hair chaotically like the more forceful he was the sooner he could get done with the bothersome task. You were working over him like any undue force would be an insult. Like he was something precious. That watery feeling started pressing on him again.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you started quietly. “I just meant to poke fun, not make you actually feel insulted.” After a few more soft pats with the towel, you slowly removed his makeshift gag. He took a moment to wiggle around his jaw and get the dry feeling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, well good job, dumbass,” he bit. You winced at the hurt in his tone. “Just finish up.”

You took a moment to recenter yourself while you grabbed your comb and brush. This was not how you wanted this to go. One wrong comment had sent this whole interaction spiraling and it made you sad. Sensitivity like that was usually built up from years of feeling the same hurts over and over again, and you didn’t ever want to be someone to aggravate an already festering wound, especially not on someone who you genuinely enjoyed. Not on someone who you were increasingly craving affection from. This needed to be fixed. Steeling yourself for the resistance you were about to meet, you began combing the ends of his hair and spoke, “The blue color is so pretty.”

He ignored you. As expected.

“It was one of the first things I noticed about you.” He still wouldn’t even glance up at you. “Also how it brings out the color of your eyes.”

He snorted dismissively in a way that very clearly told you he wasn’t believing a word you said. Also expected. You’re just going to have to soldier on until this eventually worked… maybe worked… hopefully worked?

Just as in the rest of the process, you were slow and thorough when combing his hair. You murmured compliments to him about how soft it is; how thick and how beautiful. By the time that you had switched to using your brush, he was showing signs of being worn down by your flattery. His face was more relaxed and he let himself look around instead of trying to burn a hole through the floor. All you could focus on, though, was how downcast and tired his eyes looked.

“Alright, I’m all finished up,” you told him. “I’m going to put you in the hammock for a minute while I get ready for bed.”

After placing him in the middle of your bedding, you disappeared behind a dressing screen. The routine of bathing  yourself with a washcloth and bowl of soapy water eased you. Since you had taken so much time tending to Buggy, the last bowl of fresh water had become lukewarm. Despite this, the final wipe down had you feeling refreshed and ready to jump into bed. It was no soak in the tub, but still left you feeling much better after a long day of helping work around the ship.

You had set about your routine briskly so that you didn’t leave Buggy waiting too long. Little did you know, he didn’t mind the time of having nothing to do besides enjoy the soft blankets you curled up in every night. He was trying to soak it in before you inevitably put him back down on the floor. If the night had taught him anything, you’d at least put him on one of those fluffy towels instead of throwing him back in the bag like the others did.

You came over to him on the hammock and he admired how you looked, now clean and fresh in a modest slip. When you picked him back up, your face and body language were as placid as he had ever seen them and he was surprised at how content that made him feel. He readied himself to be moved away, left cold and forgotten, but he was astonished when you plopped yourself in your bedding instead with him still in your hands. The shock must have shown on his face because you giggled at him and gave him a bright smile. Even with the bumpy road that the night had been, your smile made him soft and content. He was realizing with more and more resignation that your smile and laugh would let you get away with anything when it came to him.

“So no floor? Trying to bribe me with favors?” His voice was mostly back to that sarcastic lilt you’ve come to adore.

Content that he was feeling better, you answered, “Nah, just using you so I can have a teddy bear. Haven’t had a good one in ages.”

Making good on that promise, you made sure that he was securely nestled into your neck and shoulder. You used both of your arms to cradle him there and both hands to continue your worship of his hair. It was just barely damp and the coolness felt nice on your hands, especially in contrast to the cozy heat emanating from his head. His long eyelashes tickled at your neck every time he blinked, just like the light scruff on his jaw teased at your chest. His big nose felt cozy rested on your clavicle, and you had to resist the urge to reach down and trail your fingers on it. A giddy and victorious feeling flushed through you when you felt him close his eyes a final time and sink into your embrace.

Buggy should have known that he was doomed from the start. He was having a hell of a time trying not to moan at your fingers scratching and massaging his scalp, both during the hair care and now, when he was held in your arms. He couldn’t stop his little movements to nestle into you and get just that much more of your warmth and touch. If he thought that he loved the smell of you before, he was absolutely intoxicated now that he knew what it was like when it floated over the two of you while wrapped in body-warmed sheets.

He wanted to ask you why you were doing all of this, but he didn’t want to know the answer. Not right now. Right now he was going to let himself go back into that place in his head where you lo- cared about him. A place where each night he would crawl into bed with you and, no matter how the day went, you would be there to empty his mind of anything but the two of you. You’d greet him with a kiss or a laugh or an embrace and you would shine with so much joy because he’s next to you again. He’d know what your love felt like, how your body felt under his hands, how your skin felt under his lips. All these daydreams swirling in his head started to make him sick with want, and he needed to know at least one of them. He couldn’t handle all of them staying forever in his mind.

The tiniest increase of pressure from his lips brought your attention to where they rested below your collarbone. The almost kiss was so heartbreakingly shaky and hesitant that you felt your eyes burn with the threat of tears. To reassure him, you dragged your cheek across his temple before turning to leave a deliberate kiss there. Buggy relished the contact, the satisfied sigh you let out afterward, and the gentle weight of your cheek as you snuggled back into him. Your reward came in the form of a grinning cheek pushing into you.

All his humor and posturing certainly caught your attention in the best way and even his explosive temper was something you couldn’t say turned you away. This gentleness, though, this uncertain and wounded place, had you bursting with affection and you were hoping to keep experiencing it. You’d meet it each time with steady affection until it turned into something he embodied with the same surety that he had in his beloved spotlight.

Both of you slipped more sweetly into dreams, curled up together as you were, and with more peace and ease than the years before had allowed. Neither of you would let the years to come be absent of this sweet treasure, either.

Next->

[athenamikaelson]

Klaus Mikaelson x Reader!Soulmate x Elijah Mikaelson PART 5

Word Count- 3.3k

Warnings- Swearing, violence, slight SA, Elijah being a simp.

A/N- This chapter wasn’t much but I wanted to get something out to you guys. NEXT CHAPTER though, there will be a lot of Elijah and reader. I am very excited to write that. And most likely the chapter after that will be the intro of our favorite Hybrid, which I know many of you have been itching for. 

ALSO, I want to thank you all for your support. It means so much to me that so many of you love this series as much as I do.

“Wait, so Rose is dead, werewolves are roaming the streets of Mystic Falls, and some bitch kidnapped you? All in a span of a week. ”

I look up to Caroline who is sitting behind me braiding my hair. She solemnly nods and frowns. 

“Ya, thankfully though Elijah’s witches came in clutch and helped save the day,” Caroline says as she moves my head forward to go back to braiding my hair. 

“Elijah helped,” I question Elena, who sits before me with Bonnie as they paint each other’s nails. Elena had called me an hour ago saying we were having a sleepover at Careoline’s but she never explained why. 

She nods, “Ya, I guess he is keeping his side of the deal.

Bonnie chimes into the conversation but I tone them out. Ever since that night in Elena’s room, my mind has been plagued by thoughts of the suited original vampire. His dark eyes haunt my dreams and when I’m awake I feel as if he’s not far away. I know I’m being delusional but I have these moments where I think I’m going to turn around and he’s going to be standing right behind me. 

“He’s kind of cute,” Caroline’s words bring me back to the conversation at hand. 

“Who?” 

“Have you not been listening,” She asks me, to which I just shrug my shoulders embarrassedly. Caroline and I have started to have an interesting friendship. Unlike my friendship with Elena in which we both have somewhat trauma bonded, my friendship with Caroline is more her talking my ear off and me enjoying not having to talk. I had originally thought that Caroline and I wouldn’t mesh well since I kind of hate people who don’t know when to shut up. But oddly enough we work well together. I don’t pressure her to stop talking and she doesn’t pressure me to talk. 

Bonnie and I on the other hand both talk much so when we’re together it’s mostly in peaceful silence. I think we both appreciate that though with all the hectic things we’ve had to deal with. 

“Elijah. I was talking about Elijah. He’s got that suave gentleman look to him, but he also looks like he’d be a freak in the sheets if you know what I mean,” She jokingly shoves me but for some reason hearing her talk about him that way makes an odd feeling rise in my gut, “He seems like your type Y/N.”

My eyebrows furrow, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Caroline shrugs her shoulder, “I don’t know, just an inference.”

“How about we order food,” Elena pipes up, I’m guessing she noticed the embarrassed look I had on my face and decided to rescue me from that awkward conversation. I send her a small smile as Caroline instantly agrees and Bonnie nods. 

—

Thirty minutes later, Bonnie, Elena, Caroline, and I are sitting on the floor of Caroline’s bedroom eating Chinese food. I watch silently as Bonnie and Caroline argue if we should watch The Notebook or Pride and Prejudice. Elena sits next to me watching and giggling at them. As I sit there silently watching all my new friends, I find myself smiling to myself. For the first time in years, I actually feel as if I belong. As if I’m a part of something. And I like it. I really like it. 

—

RING RING RING

I jolt awake at the ringing of a cell phone and groan as the morning light pierces my eyes. I’m not the only one annoyed from being awoken because I hear Caroline and Bonnie growling at Elena for answering her phone so early in the morning. I can hear some of what she and Stefan are talking about from her position outside the door but decide listening to them flirt isn’t how I want to spend my morning so I throw my pillow over my head and try to suffocate myself. I’m about to doze off when my pillow is ripped off my face. 

“First of all, suffocation really,” Elena glances down at me from her standing position, “Second of all you’re getting a call.” She hands me my phone. I glance down at the unknown number on the screen and groan as I answer it, already annoyed with the caller.

“What do you want Damon?” I asked annoyed as I waited for the vampire to respond. 

“I’m picking you up from your house in an hour you better be dressed to impress Mystic Falls’ elite.”

“What the hell are you talking about Demon?”

“Listen Pukey, I got word that our favorite original is going to be at the Mayor’s tea party and you’re going as my plus one.”

I frown at Damon’s mention of Elijah, “Why me?” 

I hear Damon groan from his end as if all my questions are annoying him, “For some reason, the suited one has a soft spot for you so I’m guessing he would be less inclined to kill me with you at my side. So get your ass ready and be ready or I’ll drag you to the party in your PJs,” Damon pauses for a moment, “You know what, feel free to wear what you’re wearing now. I'm interested to know what you wear to sleep. If anything at all.”

I loudly gag and Damon laughs and then ends our call. I groan and sit up. I turn over my shoulder to see Caroline and Bonnie cuddling together and sleeping. I slightly smile at the sight but freeze up. Elijah. I’m seeing Elijah today. 

—

“Well, don’t you look darling,” Damon smirks at me as I get into the passenger seat of his Mustang, “Elijah’s going to eat you right up.” 

I visibly shake at his words and shoot him a glare.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Elijah doesn’t have a soft spot for me.”

Damon just hums to himself, “Sure. Whatever you say Pukerella.”

—

As we climb the stairs of the Mayor’s house I nervously fiddle with the hem of my dress. I tried my best to find something suitable for the Mayor’s tea party but unfortunately, I didn’t have the funds for expensive beautiful dresses like my peers so I had to settle for a simple white sundress that stops at my mid-thigh. There is dark red lacing that lines the hem. I matched the red thread to a hair ribbon I had and used that to put my hair up. What is making me the most uncomfortable though is that I got this dress a long time ago, so I’ve filled it out in places that are quite visible. 

“Stop fiddling,” Damon says as he grabs my arm in his and holds it to his chest like we’re some cute couple and he’s a gentleman. Both are very much false. I try to shake away from him but his grip only tightens. He leads us up the steps and through the door where classical music fills the room. Many old women converse together as we pass.

“Damon and Y/N, what are you guys doing here?” Jenna questions him as she walks over to us, she notices me and a look of confusion contorts her face as she notices our interlocked hands.

“Hi, you came,” Some blonde woman comes up to Damon and kisses him deeply on the lips resulting in a gag from me. Thankfully the distraction made Damon unlatch his arm from mine so I squeezed past them and go to stand behind Jenna. This doesn’t last long as Damon thanks Jenna for introducing him and his “friend,” as he walks back over to me grabbing my arm and leading me away from them. I almost trip when I see where Damon is leading us. Right towards Ms. Lockwood and Elijah who is unsurprisingly wearing a suit that looks like it was made just for him, which I’m guessing it was. I lock eyes with him and his lips turn upwards into a small smile but it slightly drops as his gaze drops down to my dress. 

Damon and Ms. Lockwood achieve pleasantries and she introduces Damon to Elijah, who still has his eyes locked on me. Damon pulls me closer to him which catches Elijah’s attention. His once soft eyes darken as he stares at the arm Damon has wrapped around my waist.

“Such a pleasure to meet you,” Damon extends a hand to Elijah and I feel as if I’ve lost all the air in my lungs as Elijah reaches his hand up to Damon’s.

“No. Pleasure’s mine,” Elijah claims but as I notice the grimace on Damon’s face as he contracts his now-redden hand from Elijah’s I’m guessing he’s not being entirely truthful. 

“And oh! Y/N, I didn’t know you were going to be joining us today,” Carol finally notices me as she gives me a once over, “This doesn’t really seem like your crowd.”

I bite back the urge to tell her I’d rather be sticking pin-needles in my eye sockets than have to listen to any of the pompous bitches, but just politely smile at her. 

“Oh, Miss. Y/L/N here is my plus one,” Damon chimes up. Carol looks at me suspiciously as if I shouldn’t be here. 

“I didn’t know you and Y/N were friends.”

Damon throws his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him, “Oh, yes. We’re great friends. Practically best friends if you will.” Carol just nods her head as if she doesn’t completely believe it but relents as she turns to Elijah who hasn’t moved his eyes from Damon’s hand. With all the attention my skin starts to crawl and I raise my left foot slightly and kick it down onto Damon’s right one resulting in a painful hiss to escape his lips. His hand instantly drops from my shoulder and within a moment I feel another hand lightly grab my wrist and pull me away from Damon. I’m almost happy until I see the hand that has grabbed me belongs to no other than Elijah. For some reason though as soon as he has pulled me away from Damon he drops my wrist and lets me stand on my own. I know I shouldn’t but I send him an appreciative smile. For a moment Elijah just stares at me blankly before nodding his head, he quickly turns his attention back to Ms. Lockwood but before he’s fully turned away from me I could’ve sworn I saw a light pink hue on his cheeks. Was he blushing? Wait. can vampires even blush?

—

“This is a bad idea, why are you trying to provoke an old ass vampire who could quite literally kill everyone in this building within a blink of an eye,” I frantically ask Damon as he leads me into an empty office in the Mayor’s house. 

“He’s not going to kill us, he made a deal,” Damon responds nonchalantly but from the look in his eyes, I don’t think he truly believes himself either. 

“You’re quite right Damon, I did make a deal,” I whip around to see Elijah coming into the office and shutting the door behind him, “But, I made a deal with Elena, not you. So tell me, what can I help you with?”

“I was hoping we could have a word,” Damon smirks at him.

“Where is Elena?”

“Safe with Stefan. Laying low, you know bit of a werewolf problem,” Damon answers his question. Elijah nods his head. And my eyes watch as his fingers draw circles on the chair he’s leaning on. 

“Oh, yeah. I heard about that,” Elijah responds and I glance up from his hands to see him staring at me with a small smirk on his face. Fuck, please god tell me he didn’t see me ogling his fucking fingers. He taps his index and pointer finger twice on the leather seat in front of him once more as if he knows that’ll answer the question I just asked myself. I whip my view from him to the wall beside me as Damon and Elijah keep talking. Although I can't see him I can still feel Elijah’s eyes burning holes onto the side of my head. 

“I’m sure you did since it was your witch who saved the day.”

“You are welcome.”

“Which adds to my confusion on exactly why you’re here,” Damon stop fucking questioning him before he rips your throat out!

“Why don’t you just stay focused on keeping Elena safe and leave the rest to me,” Elijah turns like he’s about to leave and I release a breath but Damon speeds in front of him stopping him.

“Not good enough.”

I sit there holding my breath, as Elijah stands there still looking at Damon.

“Elskan,” Elijah turns his head to glance at me, “Please turn back to the wall.” 

I don’t fight him on this as I whip back around and continue staring at the wall I had previously stared at. I flinch when I hear Damon hit the wall by the desk. I almost gag when I hear the sound of bones cracking and Damon grunting in pain. 

“You young vampires, so arrogant. How dare you come in here and challenge me?”

“You can’t kill me, man. It’s not part of the deal.”

“Silence,” Within another second a squelching sound hits my ears and Damon starts grunting in pain. I’m glad Elijah gave me the heads up or I’d be throwing up right now. 

“I’m an original. Show a little respect. The moment you cease to be of use to me, you’re dead. So, you should do what I say. Keep Elena safe.”

I hear Elijah’s footsteps retreat towards to door but I hold my breath as they stop.

“Elskan,” I slowly turn and quickly avert my gaze from the bloody Damon and look up at Elijah who is standing at the door, “I will be seeing you shortly.” He stares at me momentarily before speeding away. What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

—

“Why am I here again,” I question Damon as he leads me and Alaric into his mansion of a house. 

“Because I needed a drink asap,” He turns over his shoulder to look at me, “Unless you’re offering?” 

I cringe in disgust as Alaric comes to stand in front of me. 

“Leave her alone Damon,” Damon just rolls his eyes and makes his way to the couch, and pours himself a drink.

“Let me talk to him for a few minutes then I’ll take you home myself,” Alaric sends me a small smile, and even though I know there are no bad intentions in his proposition being alone with an older man I barely know unsettles me. But since it’s getting dark outside and I live on the outskirts of town, I need a ride. Better a history teacher than an alcoholic vampire. 

“Ok, thanks,” I send him a small smile and then turn to Damon, “Where’s your bathroom?” I glance down the neverending hallway.

Damon throws his hand up and waves it around nonchalantly, “There’s like 30 of them, go hunting.” Alaric sends me a sad smile and gestures towards the hallway to our right. I nod and walk away from the men 

After five minutes of walking down hallways and opening up random doors, I find myself in a bathroom bigger than my entire living room. Fucking rich people. After using the bathroom and wiping my face with water to try to wake myself up I start walking back towards where I think the living room was. I freeze though when I notice I don’t hear Damon’s annoying voice, matter of fact I don’t hear anything at all. I get a bad feeling in my gut so I go to turn back around but something smashes into my skull and the world goes black. 

— 

“Ah, there she is. Morning sweetheart,” I frown as an unfamiliar voice grates my eardrums. Mixed with the pounding headache I have I think I’m going to be sick. God, I have got to start taking Tums. I try to move but something cold and heavy is holding me back. I slowly open my eyes to see chains wrapped around me holding me in place in a chair. No matter how hard I try they won’t budge. 

“Aren’t you a pretty little thing,” A man’s voice registers as I look up to see an ugly-looking man staring down at me. The look in his eyes makes my heart drop to my ass. I flinch back as he drags his finger down my face and fight the urge to cry as the finger makes its descent down toward to center of my chest. 

“Leave her alone,” Damon, who I’ve now realized is sitting next to me chained up and bloody, yells at the man. The man only laughs sickly but thankfully lifts his hands away from me.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt her,” He claims but the look in his eyes has me thinking otherwise. Damon must think this as well because he lets out a low growl. 

“He might not hurt her but I will,” I woman’s voice chimes in but before I can find where it’s coming from a sharp pain slashes into my leg and I scream out as waves of agony wash over me. Damon’s yells are all I hear as I look down to my thigh which now has a small dagger in it. Tears involuntarily spill out of my eyes as my blurry vision looks up to see my assailant. A blonde woman stares down at me with a smile, but nothing about it is friendly and warm. Her smile deepens as she reaches her hand back down and within another moment I’m screaming again as she pulls the knife from my leg. 

“You fucking bitch,” I cry out, resulting in a deep laugh from her. 

“Hey, fleabag! Leave her alone alright, I’m the one who pissed all over your kibble, come stab me.” Damon tries to coax the woman. 

She just smiles again, “We want the moonstone. Where is it?”

“Get over it, honey. You’re never going to get it.”

I verbally groan at Damon’s response and try to fight back against the waves of tiredness of feeling. I know with the amount of blood I’m losing that if I go to sleep now I’m most likely not waking up. And there’s no way I’m letting this bitch with dead ends be the reason I meet my demise. 

“Looking for this,” I almost let out a cry of relief as I looked up to see Elijah leaning against a wooden pillar. His nonchalant attitude instantly changes as I catch his eye. His dark eyes furiously move over my face, his nose crinkles (almost cutely), and his eyes look down to my bleeding thigh. My once-white dress is now as red as the ribbon in my hair. 

I try to stay awake as Elijah makes his way down the staircase with the stone in his hands. My eyes keep opening and shutting though as my vision keeps blurring. I hear bits and pieces of screams and bones cracking before I feel the weight of the chains around me disappear and a warm hand raises to my lips. 

“That’s my girl, come now Elskan. Drink.”

—

I wake up in my bed with a loud groan. My hands stretch out beside me as I feel the white fabric of the comforter. Wait. White? I quickly sit up and instantly regret it as a wash-up pain flows through my body. But the fear that I had just awoken in a bed that is not my trumps that pain. What the fuck happened last night? “You’re awake, wonderful,” A deep voice comes from the edge of the room, “We have much to discuss, Elskan.”

[ddejavvu]

omg i just saw your poly!marauders fmk post and it got me thinking about that tiktok trend where people basically see edits of people and r like ‘til my legs are shaking’ yk? AND CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE. mei imagine this with me okay??? jealous poly!marauders with a famous reader as their partner getting all whiny and pouty when they go on readers accounts and see all the people simping for her🤭🤭 IM GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET RN 🤭🤭🤭

this post is 18+, minors dni.

"'Til the room stinks," Sirius scoffs, eyes sharp with hatred at user3554358945, "Fuckin' vile. Don't they know she's taken?"

"This one says 'Til I pass out'," James grumbles, and Remus plucks the phone out of his hand to read the comments himself.

"These assholes are delusional," Thumb bent and scrolling rapidly through the rows of text, Remus glares at the screen, "I mean, they don't really think they've got a shot with her? Oh, come on, 'Til my legs shake?"

"Please," James scoffs, locking his phone with a much heavier hand than he needs to, and crossing his arms over his chest, "I go for longer than that. Wouldn't ever stop just 'cause m'legs were shaking."

"Doesn't take much for that to happen," Sirius teases, pinching at James's thigh, to which the man yelps, ""Right, Prongs, what's yours then?"

"What's mine?" James cocks an eyebrow, staring down at a hole in his sock over his broad, crossed biceps, "Mm, 'til she can't speak."

"'Til she's screaming my name," Remus decides, then as an afterthought, "And then I think I'd still keep going."

"'Til I break her back," Sirius grins wolfishly, surging to his feet, "Whaddya say we test these all out, lads?"

[sideeve]

can you do a miles e42 fix based off of broken clocks by sza

U LUV ME | with 42!miles

— it’s been 3 years since you’ve dated him. why he still talking about you like you together ? i’m not officially back but i just LOVE this concept. and i love sza🤭 ex!miles, both characters are like 17-18, reader has a younger sister, simp!miles fr, reader is still in love with miles but is stubborn, probably makes no sense whatsoever

“ma,” miles kneeled in front of you. “i’ll do anything to win you back. swear. i’ll drop the prowler job. anything.” his hands were wrapped around your legs as he begged for you to take him back.

“you swear?” you pull him up, he now towers over you. “swear.” his lip inch closer to yours “i lo—”

“WAKE THE FUCK UP!” your sister, nicknamed yaya, repeatedly hits you in the face with a pillow. “damn. i’m up, i’m up.” you sit up as she hits your back.

you grab the pillow, throwing it in her face. “i said i’m up.” “mama said you better be ready in 10 minutes or you’re gonna have to find another ride to work.”

you turn your head, looking at the clock.

it read 9:45.

shittt.

“get out so i can get dressed.”

*time skip*

you had barely made it in time for work. “hi, welcome to [ insert favorite cafe ], how can i—get out.” your voice was quickly filled with hatred. “chill, ma. i just wanted coffee.” the boy laughs. “not from here. go.”

you refused to serve him. you knew what was to come next.

“i miss you.”

“my mom won’t stop talking about you.” know well it was just him ranting about how he wanted you back.

“i want—”

“you want a caramel frappe, no whipped cream, a chocolate chip, warmed. i remember.” you deadpan. “i want something else.” your brows raise in shock, “so you have changed.”

“you.”

you groan. you bit your tongue, trying so hard not to yell at him to get out of your store. “i take that back.”

after completing his order, you slid him the drink and cookie, “that’ll be 12.65. cash or card?” he slid you a 50. “keep the change.” he walked off, sipping his newly made drink.

*time skip to the next day*

the day before was stressful. you had karens upset bc you didn’t give them a drink at 75 degree exact, too many customers, not enough staff. it was a miracle you made it out alive.

your sleep once you got home was well deserved. it was peaceful.

until the next morning. your phone was blown up by your best friend trying to get your attention.

[ name ] ! when did u and miles get back together ?

[ name ] girl wake the fuck up.

i know you see these messages. don’t make me come to your house.

answer me hoe😡

you quickly unlock your phone,

“tf r u talking abt?”

he posted on his private story. sum abt “when you two talk it out and cuddle” some shit like that. the caption had you name on it

your head hangs low when they sent the screenshot.

this motherfucker is really delusional.

“we never got back together. tf is he on?”

you threw on some clothes, storming your way to miles’ house.

you knew his mother had work at this time so you have no mercy to his front door. “miles, open this fucking door. imma kick it down.” your tone let him know you were pissed. he opens the door, “what are you mad about ma?”

you raise your phone at his face. “what is this?” he leans back, getting a good look at it. “oh, i was letting people know you’re mine.” you tilt your head, eyes squinted. “are you fucking crazy? what part of “we’re broken up” do you not understand? we ain’t together. end of story.”

he laughs, making you more upset. “that’s what you think. why do you think no one has asked you out yet?” he smirks. “because they know that you’re mine. anybody who wants you gotta go through me first. and you and me both know that’s not gonna end well.” he snickers.

“miles—” “i’m not done.” he cuts you off. “look, i know me being the prowler affected our relationship. but i’m done with that. completely. i’m focused on you right now. i’m tryna do better for you.” he suddenly wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“i’m yours.”

you smirk at him. “and how do i know you don’t have any hoes in your phone right now?” “be reasonable right now.” he smile drops, his nostrils flaring. “okay, i was joking.” you laugh.

“so, what’s this mean ma?” you purse your lips, “i guess we can get back together.” he grins, pulling you closer. “you don’t know how much i missed you. and this ass—” his hands squeeze your ass before you smack his hands away.

“i can always change my mind, miles.” “okay, i was just kidding.”

[taesancult]

heyy sweetie <3 welcome back from your hiatus! (if you're officially back)

i'd really like to hear your thoughts on who in boynextdoor you think is a dom, sub, and switch :)

btw love what you do 🥹

thank you lovebug!! you are so sweet 😭 it is good to be back!! i’ll be able to post a lot more once this semester is over but for now i’m only able to post about 1-2 things a night <//3

18+ stuff under the cut. mdni.

honestly i’m probably biased and delusional but…

sungho: dom, but specifically a pleasure dom

riwoo: switch, but sub leaning (he’s so me)

myungjae: switch and genuinely 50/50 but he’s a simp for his girl so he tends to SEEM more subby.

taesan: switch but more dom leaning, is a hard meanie dom sometimes tbh

leehan: couldn’t care less about power dynamics, but radiates the most soft!dom energy a man has ever radiated

[jenosbigtoe]

absolutely keep the fwb haechan idea😭😭😭

mdni. suggestive content

pairing: fwb!lee haechan x fwb! reader

warnings: mentions of sexual activities

tired of seeing fuckboy fwb haechan that plays with your feelings as much as he plays with your pussy. this man is a simp through and through 😭

fwb!haechan has been so obsessed with you for so long (as long as you guys have been friends) so when you finally give him a chance, you’d have to take a crowbar and pry him off you. WILL ABSOLUTELY NEVER LEAVE YOUR SIDE AFTER AND HE WILL STICK TO YOU LIKE A LEECH. follow you around and be like “so whachu doin tonight, baby? hopefully me but uh-“

literal insatiable sex drive. this man will have you fucked out after round 5 and he’ll be like “soooo… you ready for more, baby?” YOUR PUSSY IS SO SORE AND BRUISED FOR DAYS AFTER.

insane head giver. like will have your legs shaking as he slurps and licks your drooling pussy like it’s the last thing you’ll do. he’s absolutely obsessed with how you taste and if he really gets into it, he will nut in his pants.

he’s soooo possessive and delusional over you. like wdym he’s not your boyfriend? he gives you head at least once a day he’s literally your boyfriend shut up. in fact he’s 34 weeks pregnant with your twin baby girls already. and if anyone with a dick tries to talk to you, he will get so pouty and angry. tries to give you the silent treatment but fails miserably after like 5 minutes when he begs for your attention again.

actually such an attention whore for you. needs you to give him love and attention at all times, or else he will annoy the fuck outta you and whine and pout all day.

will only respond to you if you call him by his designated nickname, hyuck. no one else is allowed to call him that though, only you.

“haechan. haechan. haech. lee haechan. donghyuck. donghyuck. LEE FUCKING DONGHYUCK.”

“…”

“…hyuck.”

“hmm yes baby?”

he’s your fwb but he’s actually just your boyfriend and WILL introduce himself as such

[thefiery-phoenix]

Read recently your post about yandere Jichang (why did he have to die 😭) so can you also do yandere Jihan Kwak ?

Sure :) And I know, I get down in the dumps every time I think about Jichang's death, WHY is the world so cruel? 😭

YANDERE KWAK JI-HAN (JIHAN KWAK) HEADCANONS

I simp for him too lol and god DAMN...I'll die from a nosebleed at some point because of how good looking so many of the Lookism characters look and cue my unholy screeching and psychotic giggling

You were visiting your grandparents for the summer vacation as you got down the bus and you sighed as you shouldered your backpack. You were too used to city life, you weren't sure how you'd fare in a quiet countryside but you did have to admit it looked peaceful. You pulled out your phone from your pocket to contact your grandparents when you realized the universe was playing a colossal joke on you since your phone battery was dead you grumbled under your breath. It's been a while since you'd visited your grandparents so you couldn't remember how their house looked like so you decided to ask someone along the way, hoping they'd know the location to their house. You were unaware of a certain pair of calculating eyes watching your every movement, surveying your features till you were approached by a guy who looked almost similar to your age and had a friendly polite smile on his face. "You seem to be lost there sweetheart...anything I can help you with?" he asked you politely as you smiled and explained your situation to him. The guy introduced himself as Jihan Kwak as the two of you headed to your grandparents house

As he kept talking to you, he couldn't help but feel more...attracted and drawn to you. You were a city dweller and yet you weren't so obnoxious and loud or had an ego complex, you had a genuine and nice personality. He kept looking at you from the corner of his eye, his cheeks heating slightly every time he saw you smile and talk about something you liked like your favorite book or your favorite movie and such, mentally noting down whatever you were telling him for future purposes when he'd meet you next time. Of course he'd be meeting you next time, and plenty more times after your first encounter, you've managed to make him intrigued and charmed him with your personality, you remind him of a fragile little doll to be honest, his savior and protector complex would get activated whenever he sees you, you're just too adorable for him, he can't take you seriously sometimes. He wonders how you've managed to survive this long but not to worry, he's here for you now

He'll pop by your grandparent's house every day and he'll have a good impression on them to get more closer to you. He usually wasn't someone who really gave love that much of a thought before he met you, he loved how soft your hands were, how kind and caring you were to those around you, how adorable you looked whenever you had that gleam of passion in your eyes when you spoke about things, how mesmerizing your eyes are and how he feels like he's getting lost in the beauty of your eyes... he loves everything about you. He isn't delusional, he knows his feelings for you are going out of control and he tries to suppress them only for something more darker, sinister and twisted to emerge as a form of love for you

He's aware his feelings for you are unnatural but he just can't help it. He just can't seem to get enough of you. He won't spill his heart out to yet since he doesn't want you to think he's weird but at the same time he doesn't have any qualms of being clingy to you and stalking you wherever you go. You're new to the countryside, you probably wouldn't be aware of the dangers but you don't need to worry, he's there for you to protect you and keep you safe. Of course, it kind of goes without saying, since he's also the brother of Jichang who's an officer, the people around would gladly keep an eye out for you to make sure you don't get yourself into any kind of trouble

His brothers would eventually find out about his immense feelings of love for you after Jichang catches his brother stalking you in the night as he simply glared at his brother which made it a bit awkward for a few seconds till they went back home and Jichang, Jibeom and Jihan sat down for a family discussion where he'll eventually be forced to spill his guts and heart regarding his feelings for you. Of course, they'd be happy for him and they don't really see anything wrong with how twisted his concept of love had become for you and Jichang would do whatever research necessary to find out more information regarding you by pulling a few strings here and there and would get rid of someone posing a threat to yours and Jihan's relationship. He wants his little brother to be happy after all, law be damned, plus they're eager to welcome you into their fold

Jihan likes being affectionate with you, deep down he's slightly insecure you might find someone else better than him which makes him even more clingier to you than usual till he starts developing the fear and paranoia of you leaving him. One day when you told him you'd be going back to your parents house since the summer vacation was over, he just looked at you in complete shock. For a moment he forgot you were on summer vacation and you were just visiting, he'll swallow the bitter lump forming in his throat as he wishes you all the very best and would invite you over for his house for dinner to which you'd agree. Then he'll formulate a plan to ensure you'd stay with him since he just can't afford to lose you, you mean so much to him. He'd feel empty without you and there needs to be someone by your side to take care of you, he's more than willing to be that man for you

Jichang would assist him in procuring some sedative to make you fall asleep after you've finished consuming the food which would make you black out in less than five seconds. Deep down Jihan feels slightly guilty he's slipping sedatives in your food but his fear of losing you overrides his sense of rationality which would compel him to slip the sedatives in your dish while telling himself that it's for your own good and he can't lose you. You're all smiles as you greet his brothers and they're really impressed with your courteous behavior and politeness. Jibeom would nudge Jihan in the chest and smirk at him and whisper what a good choice his brother made as Jihan grows slightly flustered and drinks some water. After you've finished eating your food, before you're about to bade them farewell, you lost your consciousness and you ended up blacking out in Jihan's arms as he carried you to a room and placed a blanket over you and caressed your head lovingly. You woke up after a few hours when the sedatives finally wore off as you looked around, confused as to what was going on when you were supposed to be at your grandparents house, packing for going back to your parent's house in 2 days

Jihan will enter the room and hand you a glass of water as he explains what he did and you'd stare at him in shock. He'd be hurt if you scream or insult him but he understands, he understands how you feel. It's a new concept for you and you can have all the time in the world to adjust, he doesn't mind. If you cry, he'll feel really bad and he feels an ache in his heart from seeing you cry as tears are streaming down your face. He wanted to ensure your happiness all the time, he didn't like seeing you sad so he'd just hold you in a comforting embrace and pat your head gently, telling you how much you mean to him. He isn't unreasonable, he knows you might be mad at him but deep down he'll be hurt and have the expression of a kicked puppy if you ignore him. Nonetheless he'll never raise his voice or hands at you, he can't bring himself to hurt you. That thought wouldn't occur to him even in his worst nightmare. With the kindness and love he's treating you with, you'll end up getting Stockholm Syndrome faster than Zack always screaming for Mira

You actually might have a shot at escaping from him since he does tend to take you out on dates outside to make sure you don't die from boredom from being at home all the time but if you do end up escaping, it'll be Jichang who'll find you and just bring you back to Jihan. Jihan would be worried about you and check you for injuries and then he'd tell you in a very serious tone how he'd never let you attempt something like this again since he loves you too much so now you'll have to earn his trust back before you're allowed to go out. If it's someone trying to take you from him then it's a completely different story. He might be kind and loving to you but his personality is like a snake, cunning and crafty as he analyzes how to get rid of the pest to meddle in between the both of you. Don't forget about his fighting skills, he's learnt from the very best himself and will not hesitate to snap the person's bones like a twig if he has to for your sake and the person would disappear off the face of the planet the next day who may or may not be buried 6 feet under the ground or probably fed to the wild dogs they have, but you don't need to stress your pretty head about that. Just leave all the violence and brutal things to him all right?

His love for you has no bounds which is mixed with possessiveness. Don't even try resisting his affection for you, he'll just hold you tighter to him and cuddle with you. He loves seeing you cooking, having a cute little apron on your frame as he envelopes you into a hug from the back and he kisses the nape of your neck and nuzzles your cheek with his. He truly does love you, just make him happy by being with him please, he'd be crushed if he loses you. Overall, a great yandere to have and he'd seriously be a blessing to have compared to the other messed up characters...

[stillunusual]

The word "Nazi" has a specific meaning to normal people, but to vatniks and tankies it has five basic meanings…. "anybody I don't like" "anybody who disagrees with me" "anybody who's a citizen of a country that Russia wants to invade" "anybody who opposed or simply didn't want to live in one of the tyrannical regimes I simp for" "anybody who was oppressed or killed by one of my favourite mass murderers" EDITED TO ADD: a tankie clown reblogged this post and made some typically asinine comments, so I thought I'd elaborate a little bit…. Tankie clown: @well1x is either referring to the fact that a lot of the "deaths under communism" listed in "the black book of communism" (which gives us the 10 million number or whatever) are quite literally Nazis in WWII, or they're referring to the fact that the only people who have been made to deliberately suffer under communism have been literal Nazis and fascists (generally speaking)

Joining the tankie cult requires you to live in a delusional clown world and believe in a shit ton of made up (and often contradictory) nonsense that requires a considerable repertoire of mental gymnastics (and lies) to maintain….

@well1x is literally trying to claim that all victims of communism are "nazis and facists" (sic), which - back in the real world - is a very obvious lie. It's also a blatant example of victim blaming. For example, most of the millions of men, women and children who were robbed, raped, imprisoned, sent to the gulags, tortured, starved to death, executed or ethnically cleansed by Stalin's henchmen were not Nazis or fascists, and many were innocent of any crime. The vast majority of the population in Stalin's Soviet Union also had to put up with crippling poverty and backwardness, the brutal suppression of their religious and community life and the total lack of freedom.

Based on his comment, I doubt if the tankie clown has ever read "the black book of communism" and I'm also not sure why he mentions this book in particular, when there are thousands of others that thoroughly document the numerous crimes of the regimes tankies insist on being the useful idiots for, and I think it's safe to assume that he hasn't read any of those books either (in fact, I doubt if he's ever read any book whatsoever)…. Tankie clown: Karina then shows an image of (presumably) some kids in the Ukraine famine. This is completely unrelated though because this famine was not manufactured by the USSR as say the Irish famine was by the English. Can't really attribute natural disaster to "muh communism"

Again - a typical genocide-denying tankie lie.

Tankies generally start by saying that the holodomor was Nazi propaganda, and when you debunk that they claim it was just a natural disaster, and when that doesn't work they make up some bullshit about how millions of farmers who barely had enough to live on were wealthy kulaks who burned crops and slaughtered cattle (and therefore deserved to die). And when you point out that the red army actually broke into their homes and confiscated all their grain, every cow or chicken or any other food they had, and that the Soviet authorities blacklisted villages, sometimes purely for containing relatives of Ukrainian independence fighters, and prevented the villagers from leaving, shot them for even collecting ears of grain from the fields, and watched them starve to death - tankies will just deny it, or laugh, or pretend that millions of holodomor victims were all rich landlords (and therefore deserved to die) etc etc….

I've also never seen English people pretending that the Irish famine never happened, or claiming that the victims deserved it, or that it was a good thing, or that Britain should re-conquer Ireland. On the other hand, it's difficult not to notice Stalin's smooth-brained groupies swarming all over social media every day denying or justifying the holodomor and other crimes of Russia and the USSR, and hoping that Russia not only re-conquers Ukraine but also Finland, the Baltics, Poland and other countries it has invaded and occupied in the past.

There's no point trying to reason with tankies using facts, logic or common sense - and appealing to their sense of decency while they're simping for their favourite mass murderers is a complete waste of time. Tankie clown: Karina then says @well1x is defending imperialism(???), defending ethnic cleansing (which …what??), dreaming about labour camps and mass shootings (for Nazis yes plz), and does not do any praxis (based on?).

Yep - most tankie clowns claim to be communists while simultaneously embracing Russian fascism, supporting the imperialism of Russia’s mega-rich ruling class, mindlessly repeating the Kremlin's propaganda and cheerleading their war crimes. These morons seem to have no idea that the Russian Federation is an empire made up of many conquered states that Russia invaded, occupied and colonised in the 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th and 20th centuries, or that Russia's war against Ukraine is a brutal attempt to reassert control over one of its former colonies. Russia's history of imperialism is at least as bad as that of any western country - and they're still doing it in the 21st century.

And I have seen countless examples of tankies speaking openly of wanting to mass murder their ideological enemies (or people they don't like) - because they also delude themselves into believing that if their revolutionary dreams ever came true, they'd be the ones doing the arresting and killing, despite the fact that in a real revolution they'd be about as much use as a fart in a spacesuit. They also have no idea how their small dick energy is somehow going to bring capitalism to its knees, which they'd inevitably end up crying about if it ever actually happened in reality.

Most of them are complete losers who spend the majority of their time sitting in their bedrooms huffing their own farts while reading tankie fan fiction online. Tankie clowns also claim to be against western imperialism and capitalism, despite living comfortable lives in western capitalist countries and owing everything they have to capitalism, including the freedom to use their capitalist smartphones or laptops to post anti-capitalist tantrums on social media platforms owned by western capitalists (thus helping these western capitalists to maximise their profits).

This is generally the sum total of a typical tankie's - ahem - "revolutionary" activity.

The vast majority of tankie clowns wouldn't dream of ever giving up the comforts of capitalism to move to one of the authoritarian shitholes they stupidly simp for, because then they might not be able to play their favourite capitalist video games anymore….

It's also a fact that Russia and the USSR have ethnically cleansed millions of people. Tankie clown: OP takes this insane train all the way to the station, and says @well1x is talking about anyone they don't like which… no. They're talking about the traditional Nazis.

No - they're falsely claiming that all victims of communism are Nazis and fascists. Learn to read…. Tankie clown: But also let's break this down. Who does OP think is being called a Nazi? "anyone I don't like" I mean I don't like Nazis, but I don't think everyone I don't like is one lmao. Funny tho, dude throws around the word tankie until it has no meaning.

In my experience, if you disagree with tankies about anything, they will pretty soon call you a fascist or a Nazi. It's they who throw around words like "fascist" and "Nazi" until they have no meaning (and most of them hilariously claim to be opposed to fascism while simultaneously supporting it - if it happens to be Russian). Tankie clown: - "anyone who disagrees with me" if you disagree that all human beings deserve to live a dignified life regardless of race/sex/gender identity/sexual orientation/age/disability/whatever then yeah you probably are a Nazi

Straw man. See above….

It's also amusing to observe the doublethink of somebody who apparently believes that "all human beings deserve to live a dignified life" while simultaneously thinking that when his favourite mass murderers oppressed and/or killed huge numbers of people it was perfectly OK…. Tankie clown: - "anyone who's a citizen of a country that Russia wants to invade" why the fuck are we talking about Russia? Believe it or not OP, USSR does not stand for "United Soviet States of Russia" lmaoooo

We're talking about Russia because most tankie clowns support Russian imperialism and mindlessly parrot the Kremlin's propaganda about how Russia's latest invasion of Ukraine is some sort of special de-nazification operation (see above). Tankies are generally so ignorant, gullible and stupid that they will literally believe anything the Kremlin tells them…. Tankie clown: - "anyone opposed or simply didn't want to live in one of the tyrannical regimes I simp for" tyrannical regimes lmao. These were only "tyrannical regimes" for people who actually were in fact Nazis.

Again - this is the kind of reality-denying nonsense I'd expect to hear from a tankie clown. One thing that really appalls people in the central and eastern European countries that experienced the reality of being occupied by the USSR and/or Russia, is the staggering ignorance and stupidity of western useful idiots who have no idea what it was actually like, and are not only dumb enough to join the tankie cult, but insist on westsplaining to the victims and their descendants about how the horrors they and their families suffered (usually for doing literally nothing) either didn't happen ("cuz the CIA made it all up") or claiming that they somehow deserved it ("cuz they were all Nazis/fascists/kulaks/slave owners").

Back in the real world, these were tyrannical regimes for tens of millions of ordinary people who had done nothing to deserve being subjected to tyranny…. Tankie clown: - "anyone who was oppressed or killed by one of my favourite mass murderers" yeah basically that's what I've been saying.

Thanks for proving my point….

And please note that smoking weed on your mum's sofa isn't actually going to bring the world revolution closer.

That was just a joke…. 🤣😂