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conquerthenight · 7 months

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Lydia de Winter headcanons sorted by the all the AU’s of Say My Name I’ve written.

TW: Discussions of depression, suicide, death, and child abuse

Say My Name (sans “Your Clone”)

- Her date of birth is December of 1915

- Yes, I realize that means she was born (and conceived) during WWI, but we’re gonna get around that by saying Maxim was summoned to the war either during Rebecca’s pregnancy or shortly after Lydia was born.

- She was named after Lydia Bennet from Pride and Prejudice because Rebecca liked the Lydia/Wickham subplot more than the other love stories.

- She attended a seminary for girls in London from the ages of 6 to 9, after Rebecca’s death she was educated by a governess, tutors, etc. I realize that absolutely none of that features in my fics other than brief mentions but it is happening.

- Some time during the events of Rebecca, Lydia stops referring to Rebecca as her mother and transitions to calling her Rebecca. Maxim doesn’t give a fuck about it.

- Maxim also doesn’t give a fuck period. Lydia doesn’t forgive him for his neglect for a while, but acknowledges that he’s at least remorseful (post confession). Things are very awkward between them until well into the exile period and they didn’t truly become close until after Ellison and Katherine were born.

- Lydia briefly resented Ellison and Kate because they had the childhood she never got, but she got over it due to bonding with them and the maturity that comes with adulthood.

- Ellison and Kate were the prime age for playing with legos when they were first invented in the 30’s. Lydia stepped on a few once and it hurt so from then on whoever she got mad at someone she always threatened them by saying she hopes they step on a lego.

- She once muttered this during an argument with Maxim. Maxim immediately started laughing because he thought it was a creative threat.

- Lydia is bisexual, even though she does end up with a man, @eeleeisgay’s OC Anthony Helencourt.

- Ileana immediately approved of Anthony. Maxim took a bit of convincing because he wanted to be certain that Anthony wasn’t just with Lydia because he wanted Manderley.

- Even after the events of Rebecca, Lydia struggled with putting a lot of pressure on herself, putting on a brave face, and asking for help from others, as well as bouts of depression for the rest of her life.

- The thing that won Maxim over with Anthony and Lydia’s relationship was that Anthony had a positive effect on Lydia’s mental health and he was able to help bring her back down to earth. Basically Anthony is best husband and a supportive king.

- Lydia hyphenated her last name when she married Anthony partially to compromise with her parents and her in laws but partially because “Helencourt-de Winter sounds beautiful anyways, I’ll just take both names”. Anthony did the same.

- Strangers sometimes mistook Lydia and Ileana for sisters instead of a stepmother and stepdaughter once Lydia hit puberty and thus had her growth spurt. Ileana also looked young for her age until she reached middle age so that along with their 11 year age gap didn’t help either. It led to some very awkward conversations.

- Favell and Beatrice both taught Lydia to curse at a very young age, separately of course.

- Maxim made allowances for Beatrice when she did that, he often sighed and said things like “that’s the last time I let you around my child” but never really meant it. However he openly badmouthed Favell for doing the same thing.

- Lydia only curses when she’s really pissed or emotional. In normal conversation sometimes she’ll let a few “damns” slip, but nothing more.

- Post blackmail, Lydia wants nothing to do with Favell because she realizes that he’s too similar to Rebecca but he just hides it better and isn’t a dick to children.

- While Lydia does initially feel betrayed when she hears Danny burned down Manderley, during the de Winters’ exile she realizes just how bad Danny’s mental state was and forgives her for it.

- Being away from Manderley also made Lydia realize that Danny never intended to make Lydia uncomfortable by bringing up or praising Rebecca in front of her. She comes to the conclusion that while Danny did hurt her by doing that, it was Danny’s way of coping with her loss and she can’t bring herself to fault her for that.

- Ileana understands Lydia’s sympathy for Danny, Maxim doesn’t. This is a source of tension between Lydia and Maxim, particularly once they decide to rebuild Manderley until shortly after they move back in.

- During the exile, Lydia knows not to talk about Manderley in front of Maxim, but she does sometimes do so with Ileana.

- When Ellison comes out to Lydia as lesbian, Lydia is immediately supportive of her sister. She even refers to Ellison’s longtime girlfriend, Anne, as her sister in law.

Your Clone, Your Strange Creation (SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

- Lydia was never sent to school in London and was educated from home from the start. This is why she was home to witness Rebecca’s murder.

- Despite the positive relationship between Ileana and Lydia, Lydia never ends up referring to Ileana with any maternal terms (mother, mama, mum, etc). After everything she’s dealt with she doesn’t really feel right putting a concrete label on it.

- Lydia also never stops referring to Rebecca by her given name. No one has a problem with it, even Danny understands why she does it.

- A similar thing happens with Maxim as well. In the first few chapters she refers to him as Papa, then she transitions to Father (if you read the Beatrice side story you’ll have the full context), and eventually after the trial she’ll refer to him as Maxim because she’ll finally feel like she’s allowed to denounce him for everything he did (and didn’t do) since Rebecca’s murder.

- She’s a full on queer ally. Full on doesn’t even think twice about the fact that Ileana and Danny are both women when she figures out they’re in love.

- Danny feels very strongly that she has to redeem herself for viewing Rebecca through a rose colored lens and somewhat projecting that onto Lydia.

- Lydia forgives her for it immediately following her disclosure about the murder and her role in it due to Danny admitting that not only did Maxim fail her as a parent, but so did Rebecca.

- Although Lydia knows Danny’s first name from chapter 12 onwards, she doesn’t use it and opts to keep calling her Danny. Danny is chill about it because she knows how awkward it would be for them both if Lydia used her first name.

- Lydia affectionately teases Ileana and Danny about them being awful at being subtle about their relationship.

- As soon as they’re able to forgo the whole housekeeper/charge relationship, Danny is a lot more openly affectionate with Lydia.

- Lydia has never seen Danny with her hair open before so when she does for the first time she goes 😱 and Ileana giggles and says she had a similar reaction.

- Lydia never forgives Rebecca or Maxim for being the worst parents ever, but she does eventually understand that the fact that she shares traits with them doesn’t need to be a bad thing.

- Danny is the reason she comes to that conclusion in the first place.

- Lydia deals with nightmares, mostly of the night of Rebecca’s murder, Maxim coming after her for spilling about the murder, and Danny and Ileana leaving her.

The Ones They Left Behind/Mama’s Boy (LIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

(Established with help from @alicesbread)

- Lydia and Rudolph are both unreliable narrators when it comes to the other’s relationship with their parents.

- Maxim up and leaving Manderley to hop around Europe during the year after Rebecca’s death caused Lydia to develop a fear of abandonment. She blames herself for him leaving because she thinks she either did something wrong or hindered his ability to move on.

- Bea, Giles, Danny, and even Frank try to assure her that this isn’t true but Lydia doesn’t really believe them.

- When she shuts down due to her mental state, she only ever talks to Rudolph (and in rare cases Bea, but that takes a lot of coaxing).

- As with the other two AU’s, Lydia is supportive af when Rudolph comes out to her.

- Neither of us have delved into Lydia’s relationship with her brother Elliot (also @alicesbread’s OC), but Lydia is very much relieved when he’s born because that means Manderley won’t be her burden to carry. Won’t say much else because it’ll be a major spoiler.

- She lovingly makes fun of Rudolph for falling for Elliot because “I guess it runs in your family to fall for a de Winter”.

- Rudolph probably finds something to lovingly tease Lydia about as well but I’ll leave that one to alicesbread.

- This is specific only to TOTLB, but when they were children (post Rebecca’s death, pre costume ball) Anthony didn’t like Rudolph because Rudolph defended Rebecca. Not sure if the boys ever actually met, but even if Lydia didn’t like that either, she didn’t tolerate Anthony badmouthing Rudolph.

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