#reminded me of the scene in the andi mack finale

[dragonsareawesome123]

Kitty and Dae are so Jandi coded.

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Sofia Wylie, Shook

If you’ve watched the Disney Channel recently, you probably recognize actress, singer, and dancer Sofia Wylie. She starred as Buffy Driscoll on the hit series Andi Mack for three seasons, plays the lead in Shook, the Disney Channel’s first original scripted series made exclusively for release on YouTube, and and will star in High School Musical: The Musical: The Series for Disney+, which is set to debut later this year. On the film side, she recently starred in Back Of The Net, which will premiere on Disney Channel later this month. This year, Wylie launched AIFOS, a production company that focuses on optioning and developing material that highlights strong female storylines that celebrate a diversity of cultures and experiences. Outside of acting and producing, she also writes and performs her own music and choreographs dance pieces for various platforms. Sofia took a few minutes out of her packed schedule to answer some of our questions. Check it out:

How would you describe Shook to a five year old?

Shook is about a 15 year old girl named Mia and the struggles she deals with at home, with her family, at school, and with dance. She loves dance with all of her heart, but it was something that was shared between her and her dad. Ever since her dad passed away she hasn’t been able to love it as much because it reminds her of her dad, which makes her sad. So she doesn’t want to open up about her sadness so she just pretends everything is fine all the time. Shook is about her journey to figure out how to finally deal with losing her dad.

What’s the funniest photo that you have on your phone right now (either share or describe it)?

This isn’t even a very funny photo but I just love these girls so much!! Sneak peek at some hair and makeup looks for Shook!

Do you have any interesting behind the scenes facts about the making of Shook?

It’s shot in locations all around Los Angeles! We shot in a real home for Mia’s house and Fredgy’s house. We shot in the arts district for all of the dance crew scenes and at an all boys school for the school scenes. This definitely made the vibe of the show feel a lot more grounded and real, because it was all shot in places that people are actually living.

If you were to come up with an alternate title for Shook, what would it be?

Body Language. I think this could be an alternate title for school because my character, Mia, struggles the most with communication. Dance is really the only way she knows and feels comfortable with expressing herself.

How did you prepare to play the role of Mia in Shook?

We had two weeks of scene study and dance rehearsals which gave me a lot of insight into who Mia is, who she has relationships with, and what those relationships mean to her. Knowing as much about her and her life, so that when I am on set I can truly just know her as well as I know myself. Putting myself in Mia’s shoes and fully becoming her became very difficult the farther into the story we got. This is because truly feeling the loss of her father as much as I could imagine someone would feel broke my heart. I felt all of that pain and grief. It was a struggle but to know that I could be helping people who are struggling with overcoming adversity like Mia is, made it all so worth it.

Do you have a dream role that you’d like to play one day?

Yes!!! I would love to be part of a historical drama, play a mermaid, superhero, or Eliza in Hamilton! All of these things characters or genres are my favorites!!! It would be an absolute dream to be part of a world like this.

Thanks so much, Sofia! Shook premieres on September 28th.

[mcustorm]

Thoughts on Jamie Johnson 5x06

SPOILERS

Old habits die hard...forgiveness...cancellation. This episode's main theme is how it can be hard to shake who we’ve been, how we have to reconcile that with who we’re trying to be. Zoe and Liam both are having a mirror thrown up in their face, and they unfortunately act pretty much like how I’d expect.

First things first, the show is called Jamie Johnson! Our title character is entering that Hey Arnold!-esque role where we are now fully aware that so much of the show’s strength is because of the ensemble. Anyways, Jamie’s going through it; he’s delusional and just kinda wants to yeet off his cast with a quickness, kinda like how we here in America basically said “Yea, the virus is over.”  As I fear we may find out soon, these things take time. So Jamie finds solace in video games (Let’s discuss how *terrible* I am at FIFA). Which isn’t too bad...for now.

Let’s talk about how Boggy is such a good friend to these people. Episode 1, Boggy could not care less about football. Episode 50, it is basically his entire identity, and he doesn’t even play! Football had an extensive hand in ruining his relationship, ehh nobody cares. I don’t like how Boggy constantly is the biggest cheerleader for various characters in the show (Jamie, Jack, the whole mascot era, this episode he went out of his way for Zoe), but *whenever* he has something of his own to do (which is rare!), they just pat him on the back, say “Oh you’ll be fine,” and head off to the pitch. Justice for Boggy!

Before we start with Liam, let me preface by saying I like Eric and Freddie. They remind me of younger cousins of mine, warts and all. And the show has really humanized Alba in her episodes. The point is, generally, I like those characters. I do not necessarily like that trio’s dynamic. I said last week I didn’t trust Liam, well I still don’t. One of the scenes that I really liked from seasons prior is after Dillon gets kicked out of Hawkstone Academy, Hansard sits him down and basically tells him, “You lost out big not because they’re jealous, not because of your diabetes, but because you’re a shithead.” Point blank period, “You’re a shithead, Dillon.” Some people just need to be told.

And for me, a large part of what makes Dillon’s character so compelling is because in that moment, he really dashed his chances of becoming as successful as he could be. I mean, it still could happen, but it’ll be a helluva lot harder. Hence why Liam’s “redemption” I’m really cold on. Both Dillon and Liam have to learn the same lesson: How you treat people has substantial impact on how successful you’ll be. But Dillon never had a shot of making it back to the Academy, so he used that lesson to impact his general outlook. That’s why he told Jamie “don’t do it sis” when he started to steal the bikes with Jethro. He was being empathetic.

Liam, on the other hand, is only using that lesson to get back on the pitch. He realized that shit-talking to Alba took him off the field, so he plays nice with Alba to get back on. That easy, right? It’s not genuine. And Alba knows that he’s gonna play nice with her, so she’s fine letting him back on to win. The only people who are as unsympathetic to this character as I am are Eric and Duncan the Snake (Mike keeps shading him about how much of a snake he was, so there ya go). Also, you wanna talk about redemption? Duncan has just about done everything right since the incident.

Is Eric arrogant? Yes! Is he absolutely right to not like Liam and not want him on the team? Yes! Was he wrong in being cold and cautious? Naaaaah. Was he wrong in being openly antagonistic, as well as dumping Liam’s bag when it had certainly already been searched? Okay, fine I’ll give you that. Were Alba and Freddie wrong for saying “Oh Eric, you’re being an angry shithead again. We’re going to hang out with Liam who is totally and completely redeemed because he picked up some trash!” AN EMPHATIC YES! 

Ruby is also here, and this week *she’s* the one to tell Dillon he’s a shithead. The only thing these quick scenes do is 1) tide us over till next week, when this is gonna get gud and 2) inform us that Dillon has already scored a date-but-not-a-date with Elliot?! WHAT? What in the hell is going down in those DM’s?! We DEMAND a Jamie Johnson text app, Andi Mack style.

Finally, Zoe. Oh Zoe. What’s her last name again? Sharapova? I’m gonna be straight up: I am VERY hot and cold on this character. I cannot stand the whole “there can only be one” trope, because it only ever is applied to girls, and of course Zoe is the embodiment of it. Remember when she bent over backwards to avoid having Jack know about the contest, and then got mad when she found out Jack neglected to mention it to her? 

For the record, we don’t know if Jack did this intentionally or not. All we *know* is that Jack told her before the deadline and encouraged her to apply, way more than Zoe ever planned to do for Jack. At worst it was a front-stab, and everybody knows you’d rather be front-stabbed than back-stabbed.

And then of course there was the whole stealing incident that she only did to undermine Jack’s success that day. So yes, Zoe is a hater, and a hypocrite, and a snake. And I forgot all about it after Jack left. I actually was warming up to the character, especially as she pushed to lead the team last season. But then, Jack showed back up and her character reverted back like 1.5 seasons. Haven’t cared for the character since then.

So now, there’s a new girl in town, and Zoe is back on her bullshit. Once again, she is insecure. Once again, she is projecting. Once again, the girl tries to be nice to Zoe and she gives her nothing but grief. Now, in a full circle moment, it’s Dillon’s turn to tell her “Hey, you’re kind of a shithead to these girls.” And just when I’m about to forgive the character and move on, the plot steps in and says “Nah, bruh. We still got like 7 episodes left this season. Maybe later.” The show pulls the ol’ “if she had stayed just 3 seconds longer she would’ve gotten the whole context” trope. So for now, I still can’t stand Zoe and I’m patiently awaiting her redemption. Also, Kat needs to put the damn necklace in a picture frame or a lockbox or sumthin. 

So all in all, a delightfully frustrating episode that does exactly what it’s supposed to do: set us up for some juicier content down the road. The first stop on that road being next week -- *the* episode of the season so far and Love, Victor (early!). Yall already know what time it is.

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 3x20 Review

We Were Here was a historic episode that finally let Cyrus and TJ canon and was the best ending the series could hope for. Let’s dig in!

It’s been a long road but Cyrus Goodman and Thelonious Jagger Kippen are now boyfriends and we witnessed two gay boys holding hands on Disney Channel. It took two thirds of the series but we’ve gone from the muffin scene to the bench scene. 

There’s a lot of obvious censorship and flaws to write about but I’ll do that later and for tonight I’d look to focus on all the good in this episode and this series.

Tyrus are the first canon gay couple on Disney Channel but they won’t be the last and one day, hopefully soon, it won’t be seen as a historic or unusual event to have LGBTQ rep on children’s tv. 

Josh and Luke did such a great job with this whole story line and they killed it in the bench scene, so much depended on their body language and facial expressions and it was a beautiful scene. When they both exhaled after holding hands, that was powerful. 

I liked that we saw Cyrus go out to initiate the conversation but it was TJ who reached out with his hand and took that risk to bring them together. A callback of sorts to his first conversation with Cyrus where he told him to ‘’walk to the muffin like you already own it’’. 

TJ has always been an active character and we saw that in full force tonight as he stood up for Cyrus and ended his friendship with Kira and then went up on stage and started playing Born This Way and of course he was the one to take Cyrus’ hand. 

The one good thing I’ll say about the Kira plot is that she was disposed of early and only got a minute of screen time and she thankfully didn’t get redeemed. Her line about TJ choosing Cyrus over her probably registers as her demanding TJ only be friends with her to kids but to those in the know it’s a clear ultimatum to either be straight with her or gay with Cyrus. Loved TJ’s line that she melted after he threw water on her. 

 Really good character development for TJ as the former bully stands up to a bully. TJ has had such an amazing arc from the mean basketball captain introduced in 2x03; there really was a nice person inside of him trying to get out and Cyrus helped him with that. And even in the finale we still learn new things about him: his name, that his mom is a piano teacher, that he plays the piano, and for the casual audience that he’s gay and likes Cyrus. 

I’d guess we’re meant to see TJ starting Born that Way as a statement of sorts on his part, especially since Cyrus is the one to start singing and he later moves to join TJ on stage and it’s their performance that leads to the bench scene. 

I’m happy that the bench itself was 3 minutes and that Tyrus got ample screen time in the finale as did Muffy. I’m glad that Luke got to choose TJ’s name and it’s very on brand that he snuck a Shrek reference into it. And kudos to Terri for getting the bench scene approved and for getting the last 40 seconds of the scene where Tyrus canons to actually air. 

It was definitely random and I did not expect them to land the rights to a Lady Gaga song but it was a fun scene and it was nice to see most of the cast involved; this must have been what Lilan meant when she said at Fan Fest that we’d see characters interacting who had never interacted before. 

Muffy was great. I’m really glad they brought Garren back, whatever other ending they would have had to write for Buffy just wouldn’t have had the same impact. Loved that they call backed to their first conversation. Liked that Marty chased after Buffy and that after she told him how she felt that he was the one to grab her hands and kiss her and then put his arm around her before they walked back in to the party. Probably the sweetest kiss we’ve seen on the series and a very fitting end for the Muffy story line. 

Liked the Jandi scene, I’m sure they’ll get back together when they’re older and I’m glad they brought the bracelet back. Jonah saying ‘’Love you Andiman’’ was so sweet and a great last line for the series. 

Bexie dancing was sweet, though I wish they had just done it at the wedding.

Did not expect Celia to be in the dino costume! Glad she got to experience the party for a bit. 

Andi got into SAVA and is going to use Andi Shack as a studio. Really sweet to take a new photo of the GHC. What an interesting convo they’ll have at the spoon the next day when Cyrus tells them what was so life changing about the party. 

Sweet lookback at the important scenes at Andi Shack.

Now we know why they needed semi-pro basketball players for the re-shoots, wonder if the flash forwards were a late addition then. 

Glad they didn’t bring up the timeline like the texts did so we don’t have to pretend the finale took place in June.

Nice to see the Mackchat kids finally be able to talk about Tyrus openly as a romantic relationship. It will go a long way to normalizing same sex relationships among kids. As they said, it’s been them all along from the muffin to the swings to the bench. 

Looking Back:

Andi Mack really was a special show. Yes it fell short at times but when it was at its best there was nothing like it on tv. It leaves a big void and I hope other shows fill it sooner rather than later. Right from the pilot to the finale it tackled so many important issues: teen pregnancy, unconventional families, therapy, financial issues, coming out, panic attacks, learning disabilities, bullying, manipulation, guns, Chinese and Jewish culture, racism, sign language, sexism, and stereotypes. 

Andi Mack made history again and again, right from Andi discovering Bex was her mother to Cyrus coming out to Buffy and Andi and Jonah and saying the words, I’m Gay, to Cyrus getting together with TJ. There are no other characters like Cyrus Goodman or TJ Kippen anywhere on kids tv and I hope we see more characters like them soon, on Disney Channel and elsewhere. 

All the cast and crew and writers deserve so much praise for making such a wonderful show and I don’t know when we’ll ever see such a talented, passionate group again. I hope they all go on to big things and find happiness and success with whatever they choose to do.

And a big thank you to all of my followers. It’s been such an honour to be part of this fandom and to have so many people read my posts and send me asks, I never imagined when I started this blog last March that I’d get so involved but I’m glad I did. I’ve made a lot of great friends and have had so much fun. This show has had one wild journey for a Disney Channel show and I’m glad we were here together to experience it. 

I’ll still be around, answering asks, liking and re-blogging posts, keeping up with any last interviews or information we get related to the show. And one last reminder to tag your posts and re-blogs with Tyrus and Andi Mack so we can get #1 on Fandometrics. Thank you for reading this long ass post and all my other long ass posts and I wish each and every one of you all the best and I hope that the memories we’ve made here and our memories of the show provide comfort as we go on with our lives. 

Love, Dave.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

Thoughts/ reaction to AWAE 3x5

The cold open featuring Beekeeper Gilbert is the golden content I never knew I needed.

Miss Stacy teaching in the midst of nature is gold, but what draws my attention in that scene is the casual mentioning of the birds and the bees that causes half of the girls to get agitated at the thought that they’re finally getting the talk. I see bees are a recurring image in this episode. I admit to not having seen much of this particular scene as I was looking away from the blood.

Gilbert combining his natural talent as a doctor and his new… I wanna say hobby, that is, beekeeping, to help poor baby Ruby is gold. Seriously, this episode has GOLD written all over it in large bold letters and we’re barely 4 minutes in.

“I thought someone died…” The natives calling out the Whites™ for being drama queens have me wondering whose side I am on, and whether there are any sides at all; the fact is, I tend to overreact a lot, but this was a bit too much even for me. But let’s not dwell on this, there are more important scenes coming up and I have already used way too many words.

Yeah… I skipped ahead a bit. The sight of that needle caused me as much horror as it did Moody.

Gilbert ranting about natural medicine not being taught is such a mood. I think taking up beekeeping will do (and is already doing) wonders for his career in medicine.

Rachel babysitting Delly is giving me such strong New Mum vibes… “Please go to sleep”. This is the Rachel Lynde content I never expected to see but I’m glad I did.

And then Delly falls asleep as soon as she hears Marilla’s voice… I’m crying.

“Bash needs a wife” – who are you to decide that for him, Rachel? I was already annoyed with her for trying to play matchmaker for Miss Stacy without being asked to, but this is even more. Marilla is such a mood in this scene.

Matthew being Soft™ to his plants… as if I needed any more proof that he’s a Hufflepuff!

I live and would die for Anne and Diana’s friendship.

I also live for Diana embracing her own feelings rather than her mother’s visions of what’s “proper” and “improper”. And for the hint of her doing it just partially to spite her mother…

Honestly, Gilbert staying inside and reading the paper with Miss Stacy while everyone else is fussing about the Take Notice board is so in character. It emphasizes the fact that he is actually the adult of the class. I wonder what would make him more interested in the board, though…

Anne the Feminist™ is fascinated about the female doctor

Ok, but… who gives Charlie, by “noticing” Anne, and Diana, by walking in on her and Gilbert almost having a moment, the right to interrupt said moment before it’s even fully developed?

Anne is totally me in her reaction to (1) being noticed and (2) the news about the dance.

 “Sebastian, take a seat.” If I were Bash in that scene, I would be thinking “How about you stop telling me what to do in my own home?”

Now she wants to take Delly away from him? And she thinks that’s good for anyone? Seriously, Rachel Lynde should mind her own business. But I bet she has no business of her own, otherwise she wouldn’t obsess so much over what everyone else is doing.

Anne’s reaction to Charlie posting about her gives off “Belle Reprise” from Beauty and the Beast vibes.

 “Anne Shirley-Cuthbert-Sloane!” Try Anne Shirley-Cuthbert-Blythe instead. And boy, does this girl have a lot of last names! She’s becoming a bit like Hispanic royalty.

Both Jerry and Diana telling white lies to their friends so they can meet up – classic forbidden romance. I love it!

Look at my boy Jerry quoting Frankenstein! I feel like a proud mother – except, of course, for the fact that I am not a mother and I have no trace of merit in this beautiful achievement. Also, the way she holds the book to her heart, like it’s him, or at least a tiny part of him; and the way he looks back at her… I know this is a whole other fandom, but Andi Mack has taught me that lookbacks are important. My fragile little heart is melting! I might be aromantic by orientation, but I’m still a sucker for beautiful, poetic romantic scenes like this one. This is my new favourite scene of the entire series. If I could bottle it up and save it for a rainy day, oh how I would!

The scene of Gilbert and Bash talking about Mary being followed immediately by Matthew talking to Belle about her becoming a mum… I feel that they are a heartbreaking yet heartwarming representation of the cycle of life and death. Moira has done it again.

Also, Anne’s dress in this scene reminds me of the first dress she was wearing when she arrived. It’s a nice callback, if anything.

That scene of Diana reading in bed reminded me so much of me. I know that feeling so well, feeling a special connection to a book, even for some reason outside the book itself. And, sure, Frankenstein is far from the most romantic of books, but now it will forever be a thing between her and Jerry. And that’s in my opinion, is that special external connection to the book.

Aaand… Rachel Lynde didn’t just try to make the practice dance another matchmaking session for her son and Miss Stacy, did she?

I know everybody talks about Anne and Gilbert in this scene, but my eyes were more focused on my spirit animal Ruby – she is so me, being uncomfortable with the whole thing and the touching and whatnot… except in her it is the result of boys and girls being discouraged from making any kind of contact to one another until they’re old enough for courtship according to their community’s standards. What did people at that time think when they did that? That giving young people virtually no sex ed and doing anything and everything they could to keep boys and girls away from each other – did they think this is the way to raise functional, well-informed people? Because seeing poor Ruby here sure makes me think that her society didn’t do a very good job at that. And the fact that all the girls, even the ones that should pass as intelligent and well-read like Anne and Diana, believe they can get pregnant by just the touch of a boy is just another proof that this is not the way to raise teenagers.

One thing that calms me at least a little is that now they have Miss Stacy and she can, albeit a bit awkwardly at first, educate them on the matter. And I love the fact that she mentions consent because that is really important.

And there’s the sugar – the heart eyes, the longing looks, the held gaze… every single trope about looking at someone special is there in that one scene. I love the way they act so expressively with just their eyes. Seriously, kudos to Amybeth and especially Lucas.

Oh my, there it is! That scene from the preview that everybody has been speculating and freaking out about for weeks. I got literal chills, goosebumps and everything. This scene generated a lot of discourse and it was definitely not for nothing.

Oh my, oh my! The dance is done but they just won’t stop staring right into each other’s souls through those fantastically expressive eyes… I might just die right now, but at least I’ll die happy.

Aaand… the moment is gone and now there’s just tension and awkwardness so thick in the air that you could cut them with a knife – and a knife might not even do the job, if you get what I mean.

Ok, I didn’t think things could get any more awkward, but then we have the exchange with Charlie and it’s even more awkward than Moody telling Diana “[her] dress is very… blue” back in the season premiere. But this awkwardness is different. There’s no tension, no real chemistry. At least that’s how I see it.

The parallel between Anne and Gilbert cooking and ranting about the dance and its consequences for them counts as a Shirbert scene, right?

I love Anne with all my heart but right now I wish she could just go away for a second. She’s third-wheeling and making Diana act cold towards Jerry, which might give him the wrong impression and ruin everything…

Also, I wish Diana would confide in Anne about the thing she has going on with Jerry. It couldn’t possibly make matters worse, now could it?

If Jerry was so confused, and then so happy about the handkerchief, it probably wasn’t really his. It must have been left by Diana. The initials, though… the only J.B. in Diana’s family I can think of is Josephine. If it was hers and Diana left it for Jerry, it would be so nice… Ok, why am I being so stupid? She MADE it for him. Especially. J.B. is him and only him right now. Apparently certain other scenes have temporarily deprived me of the ability to think.

The “Is that how reproduction works” scene is awkward, of course, and it is a different, third kind of awkward: not like Shirbert after the dance or like Anne and Charlie after that. It’s that kind of awkward moments that people with anxiety like me think of when they can’t sleep at night. I mean, just imagine asking your big love to give you the talk. Or having to give the talk to them.

Ruby, Ruby, my sweet summer child Ruby… “what has he seen”? He’s literally delivered a child, for one. Unprepared, at that. But seriously, Gilbert being all like “in my medical experience” – okay, we get it, Mr. Mature Adult Doctor. No offense, though, I love him.

That obituary was just about the best homage they could have paid to Mary, and Bash reading the whole thing to Delphine was both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Now that I use those two words for the second time in relation to Mary’s passing, I feel like these are the emotions I feel about it every time. Every single time.

Baby Delly is the most precious little thing I’ve ever seen.

The Barrys are finally doing something really good (I’m not saying they’re bad people or bad parents, just that they can be a little… stuck in their ways) by deciding to help Bash’s family now and realizing they have missed their chance of getting to know Mary while she was there and giving it to them. I sure hope they allow their daughters, both of them, to have the life they chose, not the one that was predetermined for them by parents and tradition and some twisted idea of class distinction and propriety. They deserve to be given that freedom.

The girls’ ritual was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life. How empowering, how beautifully sacred, how emotionally pure and true. And Ruby finally accepted herself as a woman… I relate to that on a deep level because it was hard for me to accept the change from girl to woman when I was that age, too – not so long ago, really. The thing is, there is no real difference between a girl and a woman. I think each one should decide for herself which one she is, and we shouldn’t forget that we have both inside us at all times.

Oh my, oh my! This was honestly one of the most beautiful episode endings I’ve seen on this series and there have been a lot. This baby foal is one of the cutest things ever, a true embodiment of the miracle of life. How fascinating!

So, let’s sum up. In this episode, we saw: the importance of honey; lots of awkward teenage courting; Gilbert going back to medicine; Rachel Lynde sticking her nose into other people’s business even more than usual; Jerry and Diana’s beautiful forbidden romance and character growth; misconceptions about… conception; Shirbert – the whole spectrum of it: awkwardness, tension, angst, heart eyes, lost of eye acting in general; different kinds of awkwardness involving different people, but mostly Shirbert; girl empowerment; and last but not least, the circle of life. I was going to say I want more episodes like this one, but, frankly, I don’t think that’s possible. This was BEAUTIFUL!

[stephadoodles]

Jonah’s anxiety story line: An analysis

Like many people, I was initially drawn to Andi Mack because I heard about Disney Channel having its first openly gay character and I was very intrigued. Needless to say, the show won me over for about a million different reasons, with Cyrus’ story line obviously being a part of that. However, I was also extremely impressed by Jonah’s anxiety story line. While it’s definitely not perfect, it is very good, and it’s needed. Mental illness is being somewhat more normalized and portrayed in media, but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of other shows or movies that portray someone’s journey through having panic attacks and anxiety, and the only other one I can think of is One Day at a Time, which has also focused on a number of other mental illnesses as well, which is fantastic. However, while ODAAT is considered a family show, it’s not a kid show, and I would understand why some parents may not let their younger kids watch it, as there is some more adult content in it. Which is fine. But that’s also why Andi Mack is so important. It discusses these difficult topics in a way that is appropriate for kids of all ages. So, I decided to do an analysis of Jonah’s story line, because of how important it was. 

Full disclosure: a lot of this is going to be based heavily on my own experiences. When I was thirteen, the same age as Jonah, I started having panic attacks. My journey was a lot different, and large part of that was because of the lack of knowledge surrounding mental illness. There was no representation of mental illness in any media, especially nothing for kids. That’s why what Andi Mack has done is so impressive and important.

(I apologize if any of the pictures are blurry or hard to read. Also, I wrote a good chunk of this while I was sick and had ingested a good deal of cold medicine, so if anything doesn’t make sense, that’s probably why).

To begin: Jonah at the beginning of the show (aka all of season one). He was the popular kid; cool, confident, friendly, outgoing, unironically using weird slang, and always had a giant smile plastered on his face. There are a few small signs in season one that hint at his anxiety, but they don’t become clear until later after we see more of him and some patterns begin to emerge.

First panic attack

The first time in season two that we really see anything regarding his anxiety is when he starts to worry that he’s losing Andi to Walker. A pretty common thing for a teenager to worry about, but then he ends up having his first full-blown panic attack.

The direction in this scene is interesting; they seem to be attempting to show that he’s dissociating, which is pretty difficult to show through a camera. And dissociation can appear in different ways to different people. However, it’s a good way to let the audience know that something is seriously wrong.

TJ finds him and runs to get help. Jonah’s pretty lucky that he had his first panic attack at a place where there are at least four therapists on hand. But it’s good, because we get a really great scene with Cyrus’ dad as a result.

One thing that Andi Mack does that is really good is that they explicitly state right off the bat what it is that’s going on with Jonah. Mr. Goodman clearly explains that he’s had a panic attack and that it’s a normal thing that a lot of people go through. From my own personal experience, I had just about every adult in my life either not believe me or dismiss what was happening to me as something I just had to deal with. This is important that they show the adults (including Bowie later on) and the kids (also later) believing Jonah and attempting to help him right away.

Unfortunately, Jonah doesn’t accept the help offered, and decides to just deal with it on his own.

Second Panic Attack

Then he has his second panic attack, and he runs into Bowie at the Red Rooster. Bowie can clearly tell something’s up, and he gets Jonah to calm down through having him focus on playing guitar. Then he presses Jonah on the issue again.

Again, having the adults acknowledge what he’s going through is important. Once again, the idea of Jonah going to therapy is brought up, but Jonah pushes it aside. He latches onto guitar playing, since it was able to calm him down. The guitar becomes a way for Jonah to ground himself, which is an important technique that is very helpful when having a panic attack. However, it’s not a be-all-end-all solution, and Jonah can hardly whip out a guitar every time he starts getting stressed or has another attack.

Telling Buffy and Cyrus

The third scene that really addresses his anxiety is during the pancake breakfast. From the get-go, it’s pretty clear that he’s stressed because of lack of helpers. When Buffy and Cyrus show up, they’ve got their own conflict going on that interferes with them being able to work productively and help Jonah. He starts to panic and becomes afraid that he’s going to have another attack.

The conversation they have about his anxiety is short, but it hits on a lot of important things.

Anxiety about anxiety: one of the fun things about having panic attacks is that worrying about having another one is pretty common. I know from personal experience it is pretty easy to get yourself worked up enough worrying about having a panic attack that you…end up having a panic attack as a result. It’s great!

Buffy reassuring him that, once again, it’s normal for people to have panic attacks and that it shouldn’t be considered embarrassing

Cyrus commiserating with him on having panic attacks. The show skirts around Cyrus’ own mental health issues, which is unfortunate, and a separate topic. However, it’s made clear that he’s had to deal with anxiety and panic attacks before. Having all the therapist parents means that he likely has learned how to deal with them, and we see him helping Jonah out a few more times in future episodes

Third Panic Attack

This scene is honestly probably one of the best ones in the entire show. One in a Minyan is my personal favorite episode for a number of reasons, and this scene is very high up on that list. At this point, it’s been a while since we saw Jonah actually have a panic attack (the last one was in the middle of season two). It comes out of nowhere, and there is apparently nothing that triggered it.

And that happens. That’s one of those sucky things that comes with having anxiety and panic attacks. Even if everything is seemingly fine, a panic attack can strike at any time for no reason at all. And if you’ve gone awhile without having one, it can feel like they were going away, but now it’s back and you have to deal with it again.

Cyrus’ advice is so good, and it’s something that I have to remind myself a lot of the time. No matter how bad it might be, it will end. You’ve gotten through them before, and you will again. But ultimately, a panic attack is temporary. There unfortunately is no way to stop having panic attacks completely, but you can learn how to manage them and not have them take over your life.

And that’s the last time that Jonah’s anxiety and panic attacks are mentioned on-screen. However, there are quite a few other things that I wanted to look at in regards to his anxiety. Because while panic attacks are the most obvious sign, there are a lot of other issues that people have to deal with when they have an anxiety disorder. Everyone experiences anxiety differently, and things that cause one person anxiety may not bother someone else, and vice versa. With Jonah, there are a couple of things that stand out.

Perception and Embarrassment

When it comes to his personality, Jonah cares what people think of him. In season one, he presents a very cheerful personality and seemingly gets along with everyone. As we get to know him better, we see that he cares very much about his image and how he is perceived by others. He’s considered popular, in contrast to the GHC, who are portrayed a bit as the dorky outsiders. However, the three of them are such close friends that they are comfortable being open with one another and know everything about each other. This could be an analysis all in itself, but we don’t have time for that here.

The GHC are comfortable being dorky or weird around each other. To varying degrees, they don’t care too much about what others think of them either. Jonah isn’t like this though, and there is that contrast between him and the other three. I made a photoset of this a while ago, but Jonah clearly demonstrates that he doesn’t like dressing up or wearing any type of costume. I can say from personal experience that I’ve had some anxiety related to wearing costumes as well, but mine’s a bit different. I’m always worried that I’ll be the only person wearing a costume on a dress-up day. However, Jonah’s anxiety seems to stem from not wanting to wear something unusual or anything that would make him stand out. 

Another big thing that crops up is him being embarrassed to tell his friends about major things. Telling them about having panic attacks, Libby breaking up with him, his family becoming homeless, and his mom being famous are all things that he tried to hide from them. Even though they have opened up to him and shared difficulties of their own, he still struggles doing the same. He internalizes a lot of stuff, which is pretty indicative of an anxiety disorder.

Avoidance

Related to this is Jonah’s tendency to avoidance. This is a huge thing that many people who have anxiety struggle with *raises hand.* He finally admits to Cyrus that he hasn’t learned sign language because he’s worried he’ll be bad at it and embarrass himself. He’d rather stick with texting because it’s easy and he can’t really mess it up. {Now, this is definitely not excusing Jonah for not learning sign language, because he definitely should have, but it explains it a little). 

And his conversation with Andi really stuck out to me. She sets up the situation in really vague terms, which leads to a very telling response from Jonah. If she had told him the whole story (applying to art school), I have no doubt that he would have encouraged her to apply and supported her in that decision. However, since she only gave him a vague outline of her problem, he looked at it from his own personal experiences and that’s why his advice is so bad. If he’s faced with a decision, and one of the choices is causing him stress and worry, he would rather choose to not do it, if it means that the stress and worry would go away. Anyone with anxiety knows this feeling very well.

It’s subtle, but it’s consistent with someone who has an anxiety disorder. And as someone who has lived with anxiety for many years, it was obvious to me why he said that. When you really look at Jonah’s character as a whole, it becomes a lot clearer why he makes certain decisions and acts in certain ways. Anxiety is a powerful motivator and can cause people to do – or not do – things based on how anxious it makes them feel.

Negatives

Now, there are some parts of this story line that could have been done better. The biggest one is therapy, or lack thereof. It’s mentioned by several characters that he should see a therapist, but Jonah brushes it off. He gets advice from Cyrus, and while it’s great that his friend is supportive and can give him help, Cyrus is not a licensed professional, and can’t really help Jonah get to the root of his problems. I wish the show would have shown Jonah talking to his parents about his anxiety and getting professional help. Not only would it have been realistic, but it’s a good message to send. There is still a pretty big stigma against therapy and mental illness, and having a character go to therapy and get much-needed help would have been a really great message.

There’s also the fact that he never actually told Andi about his panic attacks. Technically, he does so through the texts, but those don’t really factor into the story on screen, and not everyone has access, so it’s not really the best place to do so. Jonah makes multiple pleas to other characters to not let Andi know, because he was embarrassed. It would have been really great character development for him to finally tell her, but we never actually get to see it, which is disappointing.

Positives

We got a little bit of development near the end of the season with Jonah’s story line – he tells TJ about having panic attacks, which was actually a pretty big step for him. He and TJ weren’t particularly close, and even though they made up, there wasn’t a real reason for him to open up about his panic attacks. But he does – and it shows his growth as a character. He had previously been too scared to even tell his closest friends, but now he’s telling someone that he only just started getting along with.

And then there’s the stuff with his mom. While most of that story line was a bit on the goofy side, we see Jonah’s typical embarrassment at looking dorky through his family. He clearly looks uncomfortable through most of the scenes where Buffy and Cyrus figure things out. However, he finally lets go of his embarrassment and insecurities and just busts a few moves. It’s goofy, dorky, and embarrassing, but he owns it. Buffy and Cyrus could have easily made fun of him for it, but they were just dorky dancing themselves, and having a great time. It’s a really great moment of character development for him, and I wish we could have seen more.

Overall, Jonah’s story line was really important, and pretty well-done. It’s not perfect, but for what it’s worth, it was impactful, respectful, and realistic. Mental illness story lines can easily be done badly, but Andi Mack handled it appropriately and seriously. The episodes that feature Jonah’s anxiety were written by a variety of writers, but at least one of them (Jonathan Hurwitz) who wrote One in a Minyan, has stated that he personally suffers from anxiety, which is probably why that scene is so well-written and true to life.

Anyways, I probably missed some stuff, but tl;dr: Andi Mack portrayed a character with an anxiety disorder in a realistic way, and it’s a great example of how to incorporate a mental illness story line into a show. Media needs more positive representation of mental illnesses and Andi Mack did an incredible job, especially since it’s targeted towards kids.  

[tjkiahgb]

Cyrus’s Doppelgänger: An Investigation

I’m reminded of a joke from an old episode of The Simpsons.

In the episode, Homer takes a job in a different town. Shortly after he and the family arrive at their new house, his eccentric boss, Hank Scorpio, shows up to greet them. He talks about his moccasins and tells Homer he left him a pair, but if Homer doesn’t like them, then neither does he. He takes his moccasins off and tosses them away.

This exchange, which lasts all of five seconds, has led to years upon years of furious debate on the internet, which is weird because normally the internet just lets stuff go.

What did Homer mean? Did he say “Yes, once” because he just saw that very thing happen moments ago and the joke is about him being stupid? Did he mean he saw that same thing happen prior to that day and the joke is about the randomness of life?

The whole thing is so vague and absurd that the answer isn’t clear and both choices can be considered workable solutions.

Why do I bring this up?

Because I believe Andi Mack has a similarly ambiguous joke.

One which has caused a lot of strife.

One which has been on my mind for well over a year.

One which I determined I needed an answer to.

This called for an investigation. And not just any investigation. A cool, trendy, documentary series-style investigation, with multiple parts split up by stylish titles.

After half a year of research -- reviewing hours and hours of tape, conducting hundreds of interviews, and reading some notes -- I believe I may have found an answer.

This whole mystery begins back in episode four of season two. Titled “Mama,” the episode was directed by Eyal Gordon and written by series creator Terri Minsky herself.

In a scene that occurs about midway through the episode, Jonah teaches Cyrus how to skateboard and he says, “You’re one of a kind, Cyrus.”

To which Cyrus responds...

Stop and think about this for a second. What exactly is the meaning behind this joke?

I believe before we can begin to investigate any possibilities, we have to first look at the definition of the word “doppelgänger.” And the best way to do that is to go to the source.

One of the earliest English dictionaries ever produced is A Table Alphabeticall, published in London in the year 1604 and written by Robert Cawdrey. There are no known images of Robert Cawdrey so I made one.

Cawdrey’s dictionary still exists today. It is kept in the Bodleian Library at the University of Oxford.

Now, I’m not a professional investigator, but having watched quite a few of these documentaries, I knew the best move was to always follow your instincts. So I followed my investigator’s instincts and booked a first-class ticket on a non-stop flight to England to see the dictionary.

Well imagine my surprise and disgust when the stuffy librarians at Oxford wouldn’t let me handle the dictionary or highlight the passages I wanted. I tried to explain to them what tumblr was and they didn’t get it. They told me I couldn’t have their precious little dictionary even after I told them I came all the way from America for this!

And then someone started trying to tell me that Cawdrey’s dictionary was published almost 200 years before the invention of the word “doppelgänger,” so even if I could dig through A Table Alphabeticall, I wouldn’t find it in there. Let me tell you, I did not take that well. There was a lot of yelling on both ends and then they called security on me.

Long story short, I returned to America $12,000 in the hole and no closer to solving the mystery.

Once back in America, I decided to go to the Merriam-Webster website and look up the definition and take a screenshot of it.

I tried to make it look old-ish though. It looks like a scan from an old book, right? Okay. Cool.

Now, look at those definitions. The word “doppelgänger” is literally German for “double-walker.” Keep this all in mind as we move forward. We’re not talking about shared interests here. We’re talking about clones, we’re talking about mirror images, we’re talking about twins separated at birth -- things of that nature.

We’re also talking about ghosts? I don’t think this is a ghost thing though, so let’s ignore the second definition.

It’s also, I guess, just literally anyone who has the same name as you? That’s ridiculous. So, what, every John Smith has millions of doppelgängers? Dumb. So dumb. Ignore that definition, too.

Let’s just hone in on the one about seeing your look-alike.

So, when Cyrus says he’s met his doppelgänger, who is he talking about?

Fans, in discussing this joke before, had considered Iris as a possible solution.

In fact, it’s sort of commonly accepted that Cyrus is talking about Iris because she was still a part of his life at that time so she could easily be on his mind, and they share a lot of similar interests.

And, frankly, she’s really the only person this joke could’ve been about, if it was a reference to someone we’ve actually seen in the show.

But let’s think back to the definition of a doppelgänger. Does that really sound like it’s describing Iris? Again, this isn’t about those shared interests. This isn’t about how much you gel with someone. This is about seeing your visual counterpart.

For a refresher, let’s take a look at both characters from an earlier episode.

Now, the differences are subtle but I think if you really look closely you can tell they aren’t doubles because they look like entirely different people.

I believe we accepted Iris as the answer because she was there. It was convenient and it allowed us to move on. But thinking about it now, it was clear that choice was just to provide us comfort. That doesn’t mean it was correct. Far from it.

So, no, Iris clearly isn’t Cyrus’s doppelgänger. And if that’s the case, then who might he be talking about?

There had to be another answer. But what?

The trail went cold for several months.

Until one day I was rewatching the season two episode, “For the Last Time,” and found a game-changing clue.

In “For the Last Time,” Cyrus and Andi prepare a time capsule for Buffy before she moves away.

In the scene in which the two place objects into the time capsule, Andi chooses to add a picture of them at Costume Day in the 6th grade.

There! Stop!

Zoom in and enhance!

More! Zoom in and enhance more!

Not good enough! Zoom in and enhance more!

Dammit! I thought. Why was this happening to me, of all people? I was running an investigation, not a tile art workshop! How come when I shouted “enhance” at my screen it didn’t enhance?!

Faced with a dilemma, I did what any veteran investigator would do: I threw more money at the problem. After spending $2,300 on a completely new computer setup in an attempt to enhance, failing to enhance once again, and then spending two days going back and forth on the phone with IT specialists, I was told “enhance” was not a thing.

My inability to enhance was another tremendous blow to the investigation.

Or it would have been, except that the picture appeared another time in the show, in the season one episode, “Terms of Embarrassment,” when Bowie put it in his video for Andi.

Should I have started this chapter with this picture? Probably!

But I wanted you to know I had to suffer through several long conversations with IT nerds where they were constantly rude to me about what I could and could not do on a computer. They kept making snide remarks about how I spent way too much on a setup I didn’t need, and I kept telling them I called to get tech support, not a lecture. It was very trying.

Anyway, now that you know that, let’s “enhance” this picture.

Just as I had thought: Cyrus Goodman, wearing a costume.

But what was that costume? Who -- or what -- was he dressed as?

The hard work began again. After weeks of research, during which I spent thousands of dollars purchasing and reviewing Blu-ray movies and television show collections, I was finally able to make an educated guess. His costume appeared to be the fictional character Bunga.

To confirm, I went looking for official Bunga costumes on the internet.

I found only these toddler-sized ones:

Not a match to Cyrus’s costume. A set-back to the theory to be sure.

However, I assumed that Cyrus, since he is marginally larger than a toddler, also ran into the same problem I did and therefore had to make his own Bunga costume.

Luckily, if you were looking to make such a costume, there are a few pictures online of homemade Bunga costumes that could help guide you in the process, like this one I found from an enthusiastic fan on Pinterest.

Seemed like a match to Cyrus’s costume. The theory was back on track.

All of this led to the next important question the investigation needed to answer: who is Bunga?

Bunga is a character from the animated TV show, The Lion Guard.

This is Bunga.

According to one of the greatest sources of man’s collective knowledge, The Lion Guard fandom wiki, Bunga is Timon and Pumbaa’s adoptive nephew.

This raises a lot of questions, not the least of which about the nature of Timon and Pumbaa’s relationship.

Also, can you just adopt a nephew? What legal rights does that give you? Those of an uncle? What are those? Is that just the right to pick up your nephew from school when his parents are busy? The right to drink too much at a family gathering and start talking politics? The right to take your nephew to a horror movie he’s too young to see that’s going to give him nightmares for the next decade?

I interviewed several lawyers who told me Avuncular Law was not a thing. They also didn’t want to go on record answering hypotheticals about talking animals adopting each other. This didn’t really impede the investigation in any way, but it was wildly unsatisfying on a personal level to not get these answers.

Anyway, The Lion Guard fandom wiki tells us that some of Bunga’s personality traits include: “[having] a soft spot for baby animals,” “[being] somewhat of a comedian who likes telling jokes to his friends in which they sometimes find funny,” and “also at times, Bunga can be clever at times.”

Bunga is also considered very “brave.”

All told, it’s easy to see why Cyrus might be drawn toward Bunga. He shares some of his lighter traits, while he also likely admires Bunga’s courage.

So we know that Cyrus watches The Lion Guard and likes the character Bunga.

But what does that have to do with anything?

Well, if you dig a little deeper, here’s where the connection gets interesting. According to IMDb, Bunga is voiced by Joshua Rush.

Now you’re probably asking yourself the same thing I was: who is Joshua Rush?

Joshua Rush is an actor.

According to IMDb, he’s 5′7 and a half, bilingual, and also, Alec Baldwin once played a character named Joshua Rush in the 1980s.

I don’t know what that means.

What I do know is this: on Joshua Rush’s IMDb page are a collection of pictures of him, and that’s where I found the most staggering turn in the investigation yet:

I let out an audible gasp upon seeing this.

Now, mind you, I’d been so deep into researching this post at this point that hadn’t slept in well over four days and I was on so much cough medication I forgot shapes, but this was still absolutely shocking to me.

Look at these two side-by-side:

The image on the left is a promotional still from Actor Joshua Rush’s IMDb page, the image on the right is of Cyrus from a season one episode.

Now there are obviously some slight differences, like their facial expressions or where on their shoulder they rest the strap of their satchel, but besides that, Actor Joshua Rush’s likeness to Cyrus is stunning.

In fact, you might almost say he’s a mirror-image, a double, a... doppelgänger?

So that leaves us with the final question to be answered: has Cyrus Goodman met Actor Joshua Rush?

Picture, if you would, a voice actor meet and greet. Do you have the image in your mind?

Are you thinking of a convention center?

Are you seeing fans lined up to meet voice-over artists? They stand around for an hour or two awaiting the opportunity to shake a hand or take a selfie or get a headshot signed by one of their heroes.

Now imagine Cyrus Goodman being one of those fans. Waiting for a chance to meet the voice actor for his favorite character on one of his favorite shows: The Lion Guard.

He gets to the front of the line and sees the actor. Maybe they shake hands. Maybe Cyrus says something nice about his acting ability. Cyrus notes their similarities in his mind. Wow! We look so oddly alike! he thinks. There’s a German word for this exact situation. I’ll have to look it up later. But not in Robert Cawdrey’s A Table Alphabeticall, because I guess it’s not in there or whatever.

Perhaps, he also thinks, this could be an interesting little anecdote I might one day share with a friend while he teaches me to skateboard.

He departs shortly thereafter and leaves the convention center. The two never cross paths again, but Cyrus always remembers.

It’s plausible.

It’s definitely plausible.

But it’s not certain.

And unfortunately, plausible but not certain is where this story ends. Speculation is as good as we can do. I doubt we’ll ever get confirmation about this.

As best I can tell in my research, Actor Joshua Rush is one of those reclusive celebrity types like J.D. Salinger or Daniel Day-Lewis or Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Very quiet, reserved. Probably lives on farm somewhere. No social media accounts or anything like that. Definitely not the type to troll an entire fandom on tumblr with incomprehensible emoji clues. Make you spend several hours trying to figure out what 🌭 means like I’m some stupid modern day hieroglyphologist. Sausage? Relish? What does a burger have that a taco doesn’t?! It’s two in the morning and I’m fifteen paragraphs deep into the Wikipedia article for sandwiches, poring over the words like I’m on the precipice of discovery, like learning that “Oreos and Custard Creams are described as sandwich biscuits (UK/Commonwealth) or sandwich cookies (US) because they consist of a soft filling between the baked layers” is going to be the key to something, that it’s going to be meaningful to me in some way. Well guess what? Not even close! It’s fine. I’m not still mad about this. It’s fine.

I’m fine.

Dan Castellaneta, the voice actor for Homer Simpson, once told Buzzfeed he improvised the “Yes, once” response intending it to mean that Homer had previously seen someone say goodbye to a shoe. But, he admitted, the other interpretation was funnier.

And so that was that.

Years of debate settled with a whimper. The official version? The better version? There was zero forethought put into it. The joke was whatever you wanted it to be.

One thing is for certain, hearing from the actor didn’t help anything. In fact, it probably just made things worse. So I’ll tell you this much, the last thing any of us needs is for Actor Joshua Rush to ruin the mystery by weighing in on this. I never want to hear from him on it.

Never.

Never.

Because maybe it’s for the best we never get a concrete answer. The joke is whatever you want it to be. We are the makers of our own reality.

Me personally? I spent half a year working on this and I’ve learned to live in the mystery. To me, Cyrus’s doppelgänger exists and it doesn’t. It’s answered and it’s still a mystery. It’s Iris, it’s Actor Joshua Rush, it’s you and it’s me.

It is everything. And it is nothing.

And I accept that.

Or perhaps... perhaps I just tell myself I’m okay with that answer so I can try to sleep again at night.

[kippentrash]

What's your favourite Tyrus scene and why?

…I feel like TJ right now “anything but that” DKSAJDLKSJA

Jk I’ll answer but oh god that’s a hard one when I’m already conflicted over what my favorite scenes are… like there are SO MANY GOOD TYRUS SCENES. Watch me change my mind as soon as I post this.

Ok my top 3 favorite Tyrus scenes are probably the hallway scene in “A Walker To Remember”,  swings 2.0 from “The New Girls”, or the bench scene from “We Were Here.” Do you care if I explain them all? Because I haven’t decided on a singular one. I’ll do it anyway under the cut because its… long LOL

Also if anyone wants to talk about their top 3 Tyrus scenes on here or wants to drop into my ask box to talk about their top 3 Tyrus scenes, be my guest! I’m curious about yall’s fav scenes too :3

1) The Hallway Scene

The hallway scene in “A Walker To Remember” is one of my favorite Tyrus scenes not necessarily because it was a romantic moment or a HUGE HISTORICAL moment in their relationship, but because it’s such a good scene for both of their characters individually. TJ opens up about his dyscalculia, Cyrus reassures him and is there for him.

For TJ, it’s him finding someone he’s comfortable enough to talk to about his dyscalculia and being reassured that “There’s NOTHING wrong with you.” (Which, if you couldn’t tell from my blog title, is one of my favorite quotes in the show.) It’s showing he’s comfortable enough with Cyrus to come out about something, and though it’s not about his sexuality, it’s still about something he’s extremely insecure about. But he’s being told by someone he trusts and someone he cares about that it’s okay, he can overcome it, and he doesn’t need to be ashamed. Though the swing scene 1.0 is the first time we see him let his guard down, this scene is the first time we see TJ COMPLETELY open up. And that made me happy. 

For Cyrus, it’s the first time as far as I can remember that we really see “therapist Cyrus” come into play. Yes, before that point both he and Buffy were there for Andi and Jonah in different occasions, but this is the first time I can think of where he’s talking to someone ALONE. Not only that, but this is the first time Cyrus really leaves his friends to seek TJ out when he’s feeling bad and the first time he really protects TJ from his friends when Andi suggests yelling at him with megaphones a little earlier. While before we know he likes TJ as a person from the muffin, swings, and bar mitzfah, this is the first time we actually got to see how much he CARES about TJ too by specifically going to make sure he’s okay and lend an ear.

And TJ sums up what Cyrus does for him best with the single phrase “You’re the one who really helped me.”

2) Swings 2.0

Okay I don’t think this one is as hard to explain why I like it. It’s probably the first TRULY romantically coded Tyrus scene. Not to say that the ones before weren’t romantic, but like. REALLY romantic. It’s hard to explain.

Scenes before were soft and cute and heartwarming and fun, but I think this was the first scene where it really… carried that amount of weight. It set up for the challah scene and golf cart flirting scene and the bench scene really well, but the sheer amount of feeling in this scene was the first Tyrus scene that really hit me with that second-hand embarrassment. I was honestly blushing by the end of it lmao.

Everything about this scene made me feel like it was really important and beautiful. From the cinematography to the acting to the parallels to the actual words spoken, everything about it was just breathtaking to me. First time it came out, I think I wrote a wholeass chunk about what I loved about it. But at this point it’s been awhile since I’ve actually watched it so… I’m at a loss for words. But the fact it was at “their spot”, the fact that it was the first real conflict BETWEEN the two of them, the fact that it truly showed that they were equals as they each stood their ground, the fact they looked each other dead in the eye while they bantered? And the fact that as soon as TJ took the step to break the bantering to show how much he really cared about Cyrus they both shared a soft smile and were able to be back on good terms without much more words needed? Breathtaking. All of it. Luke and Josh really had me on the edge of my seat the entire scene.

Plus how can I not love the fact where it really nailed in the fact that for TJ, Cyrus was truly “The only person he can talk to like this.”

3) The Bench Scene

So. So so so so SO. What do I have to say about this that hasn’t already been said. It’s the moment they became CANON. The FIRST canon gay couple in Disney Channel history. What more do I need to say?

But really, again. Similar to why I love the swings 2.0, the cinematography, the acting, and this time not necessarily the words spoken but the fact that they were able to say so much with so little words was beautiful. While the last two scenes reaffirmed how much impact their words have on each other, this scene instead was the one that acts as a reminder that sometimes the actions SCREAM above the words.

Seriously, the softness of both their voices, the tentative twitch of TJ’s hand as he tried to hold Cyrus’s, the way they went from hesitant to relieved when they interlaced their fingers? It was beautiful. You could actually feel the weight of their sighs and soft smiles at the end of it, drilling it home that this is it. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for, the moment THEY’VE been waiting for. They finally knew for certain they weren’t alone in what they were feeling, and they didn’t even need to voice it. I just. I loved it.

Plus, the campfire in the background, the way they looked at each other, how comfortable they are able to be with one another and how they were able to be even MORE comfortable once their feelings were really out in the open? How could I not love this scene? Most romantic scene on Disney Channel as far as I’m concerned.

Sorry this was so long. I just… have so many feelings on not only Tyrus but the scenes LMFAO. I was thinking of doing a top 10 Andi Mack scenes post, but maybe I’ll just… type which scenes they are not why I love them. First time to cut it down to 10 though lol.

If you made it this far…. SUPER DUPER BROWNIE POINTS YAY! And the gift of Tyrus being canon. Not from me from Josh, Luke, Terri, and the rest of the cast and crew lol

This isnt in order btw i can’t decide the #1, 2, and 3 bw these yet

[sexuallyconfusednerd]

Watching the Finale with my Mom

I watched the Andi Mack finale with my mom (first time she watched the show)

SPOILERS BELOW

-She confused Cyrus and Jonah/Marty and TJ so that was entertaining

-Enjoyed the Mack family dynamic (recognized Lauren Tom from Supernatural)

-She Compared Muffy to my love life... (If only my “Marty” liked me back)

-”Who’s this Kira bitch? The tall blonde guy should be with Andi’s friend (Cyrus)”

-She thought Jyrus had been canon at one point

-She is DEFINITELY NOT A JANDI SHIPPER

-Her Kippen siblings theory is that Marty and TJ are brothers

-Enjoyed the Born this Way cover (reminded her of Glee)

-Was slightly annoyed at the Tyrus scene bc “they didn’t get to kiss like the other two”

-Questioned the choice of the name “Thelonious” but not “Jagger”...

Overall she enjoyed the show and I might introduce her to more. She’s a Tyrus shipper and Muffy shipper now. I’ve watched the episode 3 times so far. Not ready to say goodbye.

[bobbyischill]

My Relationship With Andi Mack

Two years ago, when I was in 10th grade, my GSA advisor was telling me and a friend about a Disney Channel show. She hadn’t watched it yet, but apparently one of the main characters had just come out as gay! I was really happy for Disney and glad that queer kids all over the world had someone like them to look up to. However, I, a 15 year old, a mature teenager, wouldn’t really enjoy a kids show, right? So I went about the rest of my day without giving it a second thought....

Until I went home and opened up Tumblr. One of the first posts I saw was someone giving props to Disney for making such a diverse, inclusive show that was actually GOOD. They said it reminded them of Girl Meets World, except it was a million times better and diverse. Okay fine, I thought. I guess I’ll check out Andi Mack. (BOOYY I HAD A BIG STORM COMING)

I opened up my iPad around 10:30pm and decided to watch an episode or two, depending on how tired I was. After the very first episode, I recognized that this show was special. Like, REALLY special. The characters were fleshed out and unique. There was the “twist” about Bex being Andi’s mom. The friendships and relationships felt real. I knew I was going to binge the whole show that night.

That night, as I continued on with the show, I fell in love with each one of them. They all had their own quirks, they were all nuanced. I fell in love with how competitive, protective to a fault, and caring Buffy was. I fell in love with how awkward and goofy and relatable Cyrus was. I fell in love with how kind and oblivious Jonah was. I fell in love with how hard-working and funny Andi was, and how much she cared about certain things and the people around her. I fell in love with the dynamics between certain characters and how they were always changing. I loved how it tackled racism in school (Buffy had to change her hair or be sent home), how unfair dress codes are to students (especially girls), how you need to take a stand for what you believe in (the prison uniforms), and how stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing, even if you get hurt (Andi watching a horror movie and being terrified, but not regretting it). This was all in the first season.

This show already meant so much to me. And then Cyrus looked back at Jonah. In the words of Jonah Beck, “I cried”. Just that hint of representation was more than I had ever scene on Disney or any other show marketed to kids.

And then Cyrus came out to Buffy. I, a pansexual who was out to my friends but not any of my family and who still struggled with intense internalized homophobia, burst into tears. I related to how ashamed and afraid Cyrus looked. I needed to hear Buffy’s heartfelt response. “You may be weird, but you’re no different.” That phrase was constantly bouncing through my head for at least the next few days (and if I’m being honest, it still is). I wrote it all over my notes and assignments because it was literally all I could think about for such a long time. I saw the sign on the wall that said “G: for General Audiences.” That showed me that Disney (or at least Terri Minsky, my queen) truly felt that I wasn’t a freak. I didn’t need to hide my identity from anyone if I didn’t want to. My identity wasn’t a mature subject; it was for general audiences. (Also, I just want to add that Sofia and Josh’s acting in this scene was absolutely fantastic. It was so raw and emotional, and it still makes me cry every time I see it.)

And then in that same episode Cyrus and Buffy talked about his crush on Jonah. They did it so casually, and my mind was blown. At this point, I had honestly never seen so much gay representation in a show as this.

That night, I stayed up until 5am. I was rewatched Cyrus’s coming out scene about 10 times. I fangirled about it on Tumblr. I added “Tomorrow Starts Today” to my Spotify playlist. I even wrote a diary entry about it. (I only write in my diary when I’m feeling very intense emotions that I need to write down in order to figure out.)

The next day at school, I told all my Gay Friends about Andi Mack and how amazing it was. A few of them got into it, and it was fun talking to them about it, but after a while I was pretty heavily hyperfixated on it and I needed more. And I felt like I was bothering my followers with constant posts about how much I loved Andi Mack. So I made this blog. @cyrus-made-tshirts. I haven’t changed the name since. That’s how I became an official part of the friendom.

I love this fandom. I don’t even know many people personally or have made many friends through it, but this fandom was everything to me. I loved the posts, the crackhead theories, josh’s account. I loved the crackships, the real ships, the overanalyzing of every line, of every movement, of every promo. I loved watching the reactions on YouTube. I loved making posts about the show and having hundreds of people relate to it or find it funny, especially the gay ones. My very first post to get more than 50 notes was one about how Miranda and Bex would make a cute couple (this was before Miranda was revealed to be a snake.)

For the past year and a half, Andi Mack has been my life. I have survived the many ship wars. I have survived the months-long hiatuses. I have survived the ominous tweets and posts Josh has made and the frenzy of panicking everywhere that followed it. And I have loved every minute of it.

I’ve seen these characters I love grow up before my eyes. They’ve all changed and evolved and matured so much. There’s so much more representation since I started watching the show. There’s a character with a learning disability, characters with anxiety, a homeless character, a deaf character. There’s been multiple episodes celebrating Jewish and Chinese culture. I’ve seen Cyrus go from nervously nodding in agreement that he liked a boy to unprovokingly telling his friend he liked that boy to flat-out telling his ex-crush he is gay to holding hands with his crush in public. I’ve seen all of Cyrus’s friends support him unconditionally. I’ve seen him find his happily ever after (for middle school, at least).

And then the last episode aired. I knew I was never going to be prepared for it, but HOLY SHIT, it’s over. And the finale was like a fanfiction it was so good. I watched it live on Thursday night at midnight. I freaked out about it online for three hours, then watched it on Disney Now. I pulled an all-nighter because I just kept rewatching it online until Friday night, when I watched it air on Disney. The way Cyrus and TJ sang Born This Way with the rest of the characters cured my depression, cleared my skin, and watered my crops. The bench scene was so fucking beautiful and romantic it caused me to hyperventilate. The acting from both Luke and Josh was incredible. Honestly, Luke crushed it the entire time as TJ and the bench scene was the icing on top. This scene meant more to met than some people could ever know.

A couple months ago, I was in a pretty shit place emotionally and mentally. Literally the only thing stopping me from killing myself was the guilt of leaving my friends and family behind. I needed another reason to stay, something to keep me grounded. And that reason became Andi Mack. I promised myself I would live to see the day Tyrus became canon. And I did it. I’m in a much better place now, and I’m not going to do anything stupid now that Tyrus has become canon (TYRUS HAS BECOME CANON!!! AAKDBEISSHSB I STILL HAVENT PROCESSED THAT YET!!!!). But at the time, I really needed Andi Mack to help me keep fighting. And it was there for me. And I will always be indebted to it for my life.

This show has helped me in so many other ways. It’s helped me drastically reduce my internalized homophobia. It’s given me a community of people that understand me. It’s created so many characters that I love. So thank you to Terri Minsky for creating this show and amazing characters that I will love forever. Thank you to Disney for funding it and not completely censoring it. Thank you to the crew for working tirelessly to make this happen. Thank you to Peyton, Emily, Asher, Josh, Luke, Lilan, Trent, Garren, Sofia, and every other actor for pouring their heart into this show. A special thank you to Josh and Luke for making me feel safe and loved and for caring so much about their story arcs. (And their political activism is pretty awesome, too.)

I’m really going to miss screaming about this show with you guys. I really hope that some people keep creating fanart and fanfics and keep making memes and crackships. I hope the friendom never dies. Because every one of you is so special and fun to hang out with online. And I’m really gonna miss it. And now I’m crying, and this is getting WAYYY too long, so I’m gonna stop talking now lmao. But I want to say this show has changed me in so many ways and I’m grateful to every single person involved, including the amazing friendom. I’ll love you all forever. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[haupokemon]

an andi mack reminisce + a thank you to you all

i wanted to write something just remembering all the experiences and joy ive had with this show and fandom as well as give thanks to every single one of you in the fandom. this is probably going to get Really Long so i’ll be putting this under a keep reading border so it doesnt clog up peoples dashboards :3

anyways, to start this long ramble off, i’ve been in this fandom for almost 2 years. i found andi mack through a “top ten gay disney characters” youtube video a day after season 1 episode 1 had aired while i was sick actually which is the absolutely weirdest way to find the show but im so happy i found it. i actually wasnt going to watch it originally but i saw a character i had never seen before in the thumbnail, and that peaked my curiosity. of course, this character was cyrus, and upon finding him and this show, i immediatly bingewatched every episode to get caught up to the storyline for cyrus, and i got hooked on the first episode. this show is so important to me for so many reasons, and im so incredibly greatful for how well everyone working on the show has done in bringing these characters to life to show so many important aspects of life. seeing topics such as being lgbt, anxiety, teen pregnancy, and learning disabilities being brought up as well as seeing such a diverse and amazing cast makes me so incredibly happy and i am so glad the kids watching this can get introduced to these things in such a good way. i was also very depressed when i had found andi mack, and it and its fandom helped me through all of that and i will always be greatful it was there in that point of my life.  this show also has such relatable and great characters, and the actors to these characters are just as amazing. i was able to easily relate to andis love of crafts and arts, the loyalty of buffy, the awkwardness and kindness of cyrus, and also the complete dumbassary of season 1 jonah beck when i started watching. the characters have always been written in such an entertaining and great way too, so its always been easy to get immediately wrapped up in whatever a character may be doing or dealing with. seeing all of these characters develop and grow throughout these past few seasons has just been amazing to watch, especially since ive grown so attached to these characters. i also can relate a lot to the lgbt and anxiety storylines, as i am lgbt (bi and trans, yeehaw!!) and also deal with an anxiety disorder. watching cyrus deal with coming out multiple times and living his life as a newly discovered gay kid is just what i needed to see and relate to back when i was fresh into 8th grade and starting to get used to life after realizing i was bi, and i can relate to it even more now that ive realized im trans. with jonah, seeing him have such a realistically portrayed reaction to panic attacks as well as a very realistically portrayed panic attack in general was just the representation i needed, and helped to keep reminding me that all of what i deal with doesnt make me any less of a person. all of this representation being shown so well has made the experience of watching this show even better. and now, onto all of you guys!! :D when i first started watching this show all the way back at season 1 episode 1, i scrambled to find any other fans out there, and i started my search at tumblr. i was instantly welcomed with an excited and passionate fanbase that welcomed every new member with open arms and kindness. the fandom has always had a sense of us all being a tight-knit group, even with the fandom getting quite large now. also, with our fandom being so large now, you would expect a crazier fandom with more drama, but weve stayed so peaceful throughout the shows entire run, and i think thats really impressive!! honestly i feel like sticking through the hiatuses together has just made us an even tighter-knit andi mack fandom family and has also given us a  l o t  of patience DGKLJSDGLKG you all make such great content and ive never seen a fandom this passionate or dedicated before. the quality of fics, edits, art, animatics, animations, covers, theories, discussion and also baking in this fandom is incredible. being in this fandom has been so much fun and ive always been happy to come see whats in the tag everyday. its been a wild ride since the beginning of season 2 and you guys have made this fandom the best experience possible :D also some random memories: - y’all remember when tyrus was a crackship?? i remember shipping tyrus at the swingset scene and being so low on content in the tyrus tag omg, i still cant believe theyre finally becoming canon in just a few hours :,) - when we first started trending when cyrus came out to buffy.. that was WILD - DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER WHEN BEING AROUND YOU HAPPENED GLSJGDLKGD it feels like its been forever since that episode aired omg - m u f f i n   t h e o r i e s - literally every time a promo released we all gained exactly one braincell hellbent on making as many theories as possible and we all shared it until the episode or episodes released - i remember when josh confirmed that cyrus would get an endgame and also crying a lot that day because of said confirmation - i remember being on vacation when the episode with cyrus talking to tj about his dyscalculia and i remember my brother wondering why i was freaking out DGKSHDSGK the fandom was wildin when that episode released its been a fun ride guys, and i hope we can keep the fandom alive for a long time after the finale :3

[romanticheartbreakprince]

Your thoughts on the New Andi Mack React video?

Jeez my thoughts? I have a lot of them so bear with me

Firstly, I just want to give immense props to @disneymack because without her, realistically this probably would’ve taken a lot longer to happen, if at all. She goes out of her way to try and do nice things for this show and she deserves all the love, support, and recognition for it.

So I just want to say that I’m really happy that FBE had them react to more than just Cyrus’ story. While yes, that is a huge focus for what a lot of us are here for, and it was one of the main things people were wanting them to react to, the show, as we know it, serves for so much more than that.

One thing I noticed(but wasn’t surprised about) was that the adults seemed to always carefully think over their word choices, Or had moments where they hesitated for a moment before giving an answer (Aside from Paulette and Holgie) A lot of it I believe has to do with the fact that it’s still something that they’re not exactly comfortable with, but most of them showed interest in it, and were glad it was finally being talked about on TV.

Malcolm talked about things being unrealistic, one of them being the fact that Cyrus was too confident in his sexuality (See @tyrus-time post here ) I think their post on the matter summed it up nicely, however I feel Malcom had been reacting mostly to the second scene where Cyrus came out to Jonah, because then he WAS more confident in himself. (as Ash had stated) But the first scene by that point had most likely been forgotten. (Not trying to defend him per se… just being realistic.)

I love Tori and Sergio and it was nice to see people who watch the show, or had watched it in the past. 

Faith had made a really nice point where parents just need to be answering the questions their kids are asking. A lot of the times kids are going to ask serious questions, and a lot of parents will be uncomfortable with some of them, especially with a kid so young asking them (which is why we started with things such as a stork delivering a baby) but if they actually took the time to be honest, (because as one of the kids said, they’re going to learn it sooner or later) you can really help shape their knowledge and viewpoints and it can make them both more understanding, and accepting on certain matters. 

All of the kids - 👍🏻 💯

Mark, despite most of his comments being more… negative? I guess? For personal lack of a better word,made a nice comment. He mentioned how he is part of the ‘Brush it under the rug’ generation, which if you are unaware means “ To ignore, deny, or conceal from public view or knowledge something that is embarrassing, unappealing, or damaging to one’s reputation. “ which basically means, if you didn’t like something, you found a way to make it disappear. Which on its own, can translate into a lot of things. HOWEVER, he did state that he did think that the show was good, and he saw the value in what he was being shown.

One of my favorite things that had been said, was by Holgie. She had been asked “Do you think a kid’s show talking about this would have been allowed to be made or aired specifically for kids demographic when you were growing up?” To which she promptly replied;

“No. We weren’t ready for it. We weren’t ready for a lot of things.”

This answer really spoke to me. In fact I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

I’m not one who would be able to go into a great in-depth discussion about why it’s relevant because life many years ago was so simple, and over time things kept changing and different lifestyles had been introduced, and adaptations had to be made that they weren’t prepared for. But essentially as time has gone on, things kept changing, we as a people keep learning that there’s not only one way to live, only one way to do things. People nowadays are so much more open-minded about things compared to people from even ten years ago. (Which I had to remind myself at this point, is 2009.) People back then(Not 2009, long before then) had this thin line on which they believed life had to be lived. Today, that line is so much bigger, and even heads off in many different directions. Which is why back then, they weren’t ready for it, but today, we are. We’ve changed our definition of life and how it can be lived, and even though we still have a long way to go, I can’t say we haven’t made great progress.

[2ndstringloser]

Time for sap ig

My experience as a viewer: I watched the first episode of Andi Mack when it aired on Disney for the first time. I thought that the first episode was extremely balsy for a kids show (especially one on the most conservative network) and i immediately knew that this show would be something special. I was excited to ask my friends if they’d watched it because this seemed like a show that I would want to talk about.

They had watched it, and I didn’t even have to ask them about it. My friends brought it into the conversation all by themselves... so that they could trash it. They all said it was stupid, dumb, that it was too serious and should just stick to making jokes. I was really sad. From the first time I watched the show I’d heard the rumors that Cyrus was going to be gay, that’s what drew me in. I was young and starved for representation. The draw of a show with a kid like me was so strong, but since my friends thought it was dumb I decided that it was dumb too. I still saw things online about it, I still saw it on the TV guide, I still felt drawn to this.

Then a video came up on my recommended, “Disney’s first coming out scene” I watched a three minute video of Cyrus and i cried. I cried without even having a connection to this character, other than I related 100% to every word he said. I thought that that would be the end of his story, that they’d bring it up once and leave it at that, so I didn’t think about the show again.

Until one day, when my YouTube recommends, once again, put swing scene 2.0 in my feed. The exact title was “The gay near kiss” which I have to admit is what made me click. When I saw that scene I realized that this story was something special. I was still starved for young lgbt rep and I didn’t care anymore what my friends thought. I watched the whole series. At that time hiatus #1 was currently happening so I didn’t know what to expect the community to be like.

I did watch initially just for tyrus, that’s what brought me in, but I found so much more. There were so many stories that I either could relate to personally, or knew people in my life who felt with that.

So tomorrow night, as I watch the final episode, I’ll be reminded just how special this story is. I’ll always remember the lessons i’ve learned, and the happiness i’ve felt because of this show.

Thank you Andi Mack!

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 3x18 Review

Something To Talk A-Boot was a pretty good ep that was surprisingly fillery and made apparent the cracks in the show’s writing. Let’s dig in!

We got some great Tyrus scenes that more than made up for the crappy writing we’ve seen the last two Tyrus eps. For once they got to end on a happy note which was much appreciated. We returned to the same fun and flirty dynamic we saw before costume day and it’s like that whole mess never happened (which I’ll discuss more in the negatives). 

We’re back to the confident and flirty TJ we had been seeing up until costume day and it’s good that the show has abandoned it’s incredibly ill advised and poorly done internalized homophobia story line which is necessary because Tyrus can’t canon in the finale if TJ and Cyrus aren’t both comfortable with themselves and with each other. Luckily for the show, most of the audience will never know what the hell was going on with TJ in eps 13 and 15 and will just ignore it as bad writing. 

Lot’s of completely unnecessary touching between Tyrus in this ep like holding on to each others shoulders after the verdict and TJ tapping Cyrus as he was putting his seat belt on. I was pleasantly surprised by the full on hug we got; I didn’t think Terri would get a hug approved in this ep and be able to get hand holding approved in the finale but looks like she pulled it off. It made for a rare rule of three for Cyrus as we saw three increasingly gay hugs between him and TJ this season. I loved the whole you’ll visit me on the inside bit, that’s the kind of thing only couples say. 

Man was that Tyrus golf cart scene ever romantic. Just pure flirty fluff and it was wonderful to see. Really the only reason TJ stole the golf cart again and drove off to find Cyrus was to flirt with him. It’s the closest a show with 14 year olds can get to a classic drive off into the sunset ending. Has there ever been a better nerd/jock ship? The golf cart scene was a perfect encapsulation of their dynamic and showed such growth on Cyrus’ part from the scared kid who couldn’t imagine breaking the rules to the more confident self TJ has helped him become. It’s a bittersweet thought but even though a good chunk if not most of the audience still thinks Tyrus is a friendship or one sided crush, everyone who ever starts the show after the finale will know that Tyrus is a romantic relationship and for them subtext will be text from the very start. 

I think it was very deliberate that all of TJ’s scenes were at the school, we needed to see him interacting like normal with Cyrus at the place they’ll spend most of their time. This ep really was in many ways a glimpse of what canon Tyrus will be like after they get together and come out to the world; supportive, flirty, comfortable.

They really took advantage of Luke being 17 and a good driver. I wonder if ‘leggo’’ was in the script or if that was a Luke ad lib.

This was the last confirmed ep they ever filmed at the school and there’s an extremely good chance that the very wholesome and very gay Tyrus golf cart scene was the last scene we’ll ever see at the school. Which is a hell of a way to say goodbye to the school. 

We got just under 5 minutes of Tyrus screen time and just over 5 and a half minutes of total TJ screen time this ep (excluding TJ cheering in the stands). This is the most he’s had since 3x06 and may actually be the most he’s had or will have all season. And this was more Tyrus screen time than we’ve had in 3x11, 3x13, and 3x15 combined which is a damning indictment of Disney’s censorship. Partly this was likely because the writers were trying to pad his screen time a bit since he was originally supposed to be gone for 3 eps in a row instead of 2. Funnily enough, because his story line was left intact even with the cut ep and re-shoots it now looks as though he may actually get a little more screen time in these final 7 eps than Marty does.

It’s impressive too because all of TJ’s scenes were filmed over two days; it makes such a difference when they’re actually allowed to have him on set for more than one day and that they let Luke and Josh actually have scenes together and took advantage of them being older and able to work longer hours.

This ep really built TJ’s character back up and it’s easy to see that the writers knew they had to get the audience back on TJ’s side and remind them of his and Cyrus’ dynamic especially since he was supposed to have been gone for 3 eps in a row instead of 2. 

Josh did a great job hamming it up at the trial. Loved the ‘’you’re showboating’’ ‘’thank you for noticing your honour’’ bit. And Cyrus adding ‘’sir’’ when he was pretending to respond to himself from the witness box was good too. Love that Cyrus took the time to change back into a suit before hearing the verdict.

It makes such a difference for Cyrus’ character is TJ is in an ep or not and I don’t even mean from a shipping perspective. In non TJ eps Cyrus is almost always reduced to therapist friend or comic relief, when TJ is an ep he usually gets to be an active character and actually get to do things. 

We had Buffy saying he used to be the worst and is now the best and Cyrus taking credit for seeing the good in him which was a nice reminder of the amazing growth TJ has had. And of course, there was no real reason to have TJ be the one to help Buffy get to class except to make him look good in the audience’s eyes.

I know a lot of people wanted to see more of Buffy and TJ’s friendship but I’m fine with their brief interactions. The only reason he had so much time with her in S2 and why the end of S2 set up a friendship between them was because Garren had left and they didn’t know they could get him back.

Such great growth on Buffy’s part from the girl who wouldn’t even pass the baton to her team mates back in S1. The Spikes have largely been treated as a joke but we really saw a great dynamic between them and Buffy tonight; they all felt like a real team for the first time ever. And it was interesting seeing Buffy’s room and seeing her doing normal teen stuff with people outside of the GHC. Glad the Spikes got a win and glad Buffy was able to bounce back from her injury and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. 

Very sweet last scene between Jonah and Amber, it was a nice call back to 2x01 when Amber confided in Jonah about her family’s money problems. It was messy but they did help and support each other. I’m happy that Jonah will now be in a more secure place. 

This was also the last confirmed ep they filmed at the Spoon and Jonah watching Amber get him a milkshake is a sweet way to say goodbye to a location that was almost a character in and of itself. We also got to see one last glimpse of the ginger waitress who we’ve seen in a couple of eps.

I liked that Jonah pointed out how well the GHC know each other; he’s a part of the friend group but he’s always stood apart from the GHC itself. 

I also liked that Jonah didn’t know what an existential crisis was. Always funny when they lean into dumb Jonah. 

Jonah and Andi had a sweet scene; glad he’s self aware enough to know he’s not a good advice giver. Liked the callback to Jonah scaring Andi. 

Bex is doing her best. Andi is definitely reacting like a teen. 

No Kira this ep which was great.

Shout out to the FBI and SLPD for shrinking the gap between TJ’s appearances. As much as cutting Ham has ended up damaging the other story lines it will definitely make Cyrus’ story line age much better. Having TJ be gone for 3 eps in a row only to come back after the wedding and only being able to have this kind of screen time and nice scenes after the wedding is so transparent that even kids would have noticed why that was.

Negatives:

I plan to have a happy finale night so I’m going to get my criticism of Terri’s handling of Tyrus out of the way now. I’ve seen quite a few posts on different social media sites wondering if TJ was in the cut ep and that’s why Kira isn’t mentioned or if there were cut Tyrus scenes but the plain simple truth is that this is just bad writing, some of the worst Terri has done. It’s not a satisfying explanation but it’s reality. 

I’d like to hear Terri one day explain what she thought she was going to accomplish with this internalized homophobia plot line on a show with so many restrictions and with an audience that doesn’t know TJ is gay. I don’t think there is a good explanation but I would like to know what the hell she was thinking. She’s always shown such care with the gay story line and to just drop the ball so badly when the show is almost done is more sad than anything else. Thank god Disney let her have canon Tyrus in the finale.

It’s clear from the writing of S3 that they knew from the very start that Tyrus couldn’t canon until the finale, if at all. It’s been nothing but drama that keeps them apart up until now: Buffy is still kind of mad at TJ, Reed had a gun, Jonah is mad at TJ, Bubbe Rose dies, Kira comes in. TJ isn’t even involved with the Spikes after 3x04 and barely had any scenes with Buffy and he hasn’t had a single scene with Jonah since so it’s not like those plots were meant to have an impact. And Terri would have known that TJ could only be in 9 eps max this season and she was the one who cast a 14 year old to play Kira, knowing that Raquel just wouldn’t be able to be on set nearly as long as Luke which of course she did because she knew it didn’t matter how old she was because Kira and TJ would have limited screen time anyways. And she would have known that the look back had been edited to make it look like TJ was straight and yet she still went ahead. 

Honestly, Terri is lucky that most of the audience will never know that TJ was supposed to be struggling with his sexuality in 3x13-3x15 because if they did this story line would come off as much worse than it does for them. I can buy that she wouldn’t have known how far she could go with canon Tyrus until close to the finale itself but that just makes her decisions even more baffling. If she ends up being able to have a textual ending then she has to have TJ be confident or it just won’t make sense. But if Disney said no to canon Tyrus then there’s no way they would have let her properly explore an internalized homophobia arc anyways which makes it all pointless. 

Now that we’ve seen up until 18 we can see just how defensive Terri’s instagram post back in November about not complaining about Disney censorship or queerbaiting was. At the time all she had actually accomplished was Cyrus saying the word gay which was historic and wonderful but only one ep. There’s obvious censorship by Disney and it would have been even more apparent if it wasn’t for Stoney’s arrest. And up until now there’s really nothing differentiating  Tyrus from queerbaiting as Cyrus hasn’t even been able to say he has a crush on TJ. I know she’ll do a good job with Tyrus in the finale but I really hope she doesn’t do something egregiously bad with Kira’s ‘redemption’

It doesn’t make sense that no one would mention Kira. We had TJ scenes over 4 days in universe and no Kira in sight. So either she’s not clinging to him or he told her off. It’s all just so her appearance at the party can make Cyrus flee to the bench for one last bit of contrived drama. 

We finally ended the very poorly plotted Jamber arc. It’s clear that they first decided to get Jamber back together, likely to keep Jandi apart and as a shocking twist, and then worked backwards from there to figure out how to make it plausible and settled on Jonah also having financial issues. The problem being is that those financial problems were largely ignored and we never got an in depth exploration of Jonah or Amber’s psychology. It’s not like they didn’t have time for it since Amber set a new record for recurring characters, excepting S2 Bowie. It’s hard to say Amber has had a true arc over the series. She definitely got nicer but we’ve only really gotten character development from her these past couple of eps. She’s in the same place she was back in 2x01, newly broken up with Jonah, with parents who fight, and forced to work at the Spoon to help support her family. 

Loved that the Spikes were watching footage of their game with the Spartans, which hadn’t happened yet, at their sleep over. Back in the S2 finale when Buffy announced that she was founding a girls team I never imagined that they would be written as a joke and barely shown. I’d guess that was another casualty of them being able to get Marty back for S3.

Looking Ahead:

I’m a lot more content with the show ending after S3 after seeing these recent eps. There’s been way too much filler and a lot of bizarre decisions. Yes the cut ep and the re-shoots hurt a lot of plots but it doesn’t seem like the originals were all that much better. It’s clear that the Muffy plot in 3x17 ended after the bowling alley and Amber’s plot ended with her leaving Cyrus’ house which means that Marty went with Buffy as her date to the wedding in the original 3x18 only to friendzone her and tell her to get her foot checked. And Amber still went with Jonah even though she knew he had been lying to her and they only broke up at the wedding. I’m sure the Mack family A plot would have been great but the B and C plots look like they would have sucked. 

Terri’s never had a show that went beyond 2 seasons and I think in some ways she struggled with plotting out 21 eps worth of story lines. Better to end now when the show will go down as historic then drag it down in a potential S4. And better for Terri’s reputation as well, she gets to end the show as a visionary whereas if we got a S4 she’d likely end up with more of a Michael Jacob’s type reputation. 

Also this ep shows that any hope for seeing canon Tyrus in S4 was just a dream. Disney is clearly only willing to let things get textual in the finale itself. Even Mack Chat didn’t mention Cyrus once tonight despite him having a big role in the ep. An odd game Disney plays with showing the bench scene in promos but not letting Mack Chat get too gay. 

New finale promo sheds a little more light on things. Two Cyrus waving scenes, probably one is before the bench scene and one is after. Bench scene starts with some extras near the fire and once they leave is when things get textual. TJ and Marty will probably have an interaction after both Tyrus and Muffy canon. Looks like there doing something with Jandi but again I don’t think we get canon Jandi, just something ambiguous. Bowie and Bex dancing in the back ground, Bowie in his dad’s tux and Bex possibly in her wedding dress. Obviously they’re already married but it’s probably them re-creating the wedding they had planned for but didn’t end up having.

Next ep is one with a ton of re-shoots and should feature the new wedding. We’ll see how smooth it is. My one hope is that we get some word that Jonah has told his parents about his panic attacks, even if it’s off screen. 

[itsamiraculous]

A Friendly Shove- Tyrus

So I’m really not a huge part of the Andi Mack fandom, I have just finished watching it during it’s hiatus and then because I picked up on Tyrus I wanted to see what other people have said about their scenes and I noticed some stuff and I wanted to share it because I’m really bad about containing myself with this sort of stuff and I haven’t seen this exact stuff being said 😂😅

Okay so we all know that there are limited scenes with Tyrus as a whole, but the ones we do see I find are always meaningful and hint to their endgame/relationship. I’ve seen posts that comment on how they are there for each other, how they build each other up etc. I’m kind of going to add to that in a way.

Anyway, so I noticed how TJ shoves Cyrus (not in a bad way); in a metaphorical and physical way. Cyrus also does it, but in a different way, but I’ll talk about that last.

So first let’s go to the Muffin scene. 

It’s their first interaction and TJ immediately decides to teach Cyrus. Already that’s giving him more of an attachment to him, rather than keeping his distance and just getting what he wants; Buffy’s tuition. That would have meant him just getting the muffin and be done with it.. 

This already sets up TJ to be a nicer person than what he comes across as. It’s not that he was lazy, because that is emphasised by what he does; that he is kind.

I’m sorry, but Cyrus’ face is priceless. Even before TJ offers to teach him, he is open about his embarrassment, he owns that he doesn’t stand up for himself which I think is lovely also.

I’ll come back to this later, but I’ll put it in anyway. Buffy’s reaction after the game plan.

“He can’t do that”- Her face says it all as well, so does Cyrus’ side profile towards Buffy as it’s like “Is that what you think?”

“Hey, don’t tell him what he can’t do”- Okay, Buffy was talking to TJ like Cyrus wasn’t even there in the first place, also TJ totally wasn’t there to just counteract Buffy with everything she said either; TJ was sticking up for Cyrus, despite him not knowing him. That is honestly so lovely. I have a theory about TJ anyway in relation to that statement that I might mention later (honestly the muffin scene links to everything with Tyrus).

Buffy’s reaction, she knew she said the wrong thing probably.

Ignore the hilarious facial expressions it was the best I could do, but TJ gives Cyrus a push/shove. I would like to say that this is after Cyrus is already moving, meaning it’s not that harsh, though it could easily come across as impatience on TJ’s behalf. I think this is because TJ is just broody in this situation. This is the start of his redemption. But I think at the end of the day, it can be encouraging, it can also be metaphorical because he is putting Cyrus out of his comfort zone, but Cyrus wanted that in the first place. 

I think this scene is made better by the fact that TJ actually looks to Buffy briefly when Cyrus disturbs the crowd like “You’re not going to help him?”  or it’s just to the crowd in general.

He jumps in himself, getting Cyrus his muffin. He still lets Cyrus be the one to take it, he wasn’t that impatient to the extent that he could have just picked it up and shoved it into Cyrus’ hands. It was still a win for Cyrus, TJ just happened to back him up, he was with Cyrus (team/equals visual).

Also I find it hilarious how many times TJ tries not to smile, like his facade of the confident, laid-back school bully falters as he smiles, he’s grinning when he goes to Buffy and I want to say that it’s both because he succeeded in his task and was able to prove himself for Buffy’s tuition. It was just Cyrus in general as well.

Anyway, so moving on I guess.

We then also have the Swing scene (❤❤)

(sorry for poor quality, but you get the idea)

I mean, TJ is literally pushing Cyrus... on a swing.

Again, TJ’s facade falters here as well, when Cyrus calls him “scary basketball guy” TJ introduces himself and it was like he was uncomfortable; he doesn’t like that title. Honestly, he’s just so soft in this scene. He even giggles! 

The whole “Swing” is a metaphor anyway. Cyrus goes there because it makes him feel better about himself, he reassures himself and that’s what it stands for, self-love I guess, it’s also just a break from anxiety. So the fact that TJ says about Cyrus reminding him to swing again means that he has gained some happiness again. It also fits in with the theme of not letting people get to them (I will reference this again later). 

But also my first thought when I watched this scene was I thought the swing was a reference to childhood; also how TJ was speaking and Cyrus’ little songs made things seem childish. So maybe it was a reference to nostalgia (like most symbolism's of swings), goes into a theory I have about TJ anyway as well. 

The thing with swings is that they come back. That’s another thing. One of them (TJ) pushes, but the other (Cyrus is always there). The muffin scene, TJ pushes him forward, TJ ends up having to put himself next to Cyrus as well to really help. Then with the swings TJ is pushing Cyrus, but Cyrus is coming back to him. There is something about TJ also doing the underdog thing as well, he starts off behind Cyrus (having his back), then the underdog thing, he is then facing Cyrus, still pushing him, encouraging him. Honestly it’s so sweet 

“That was exhilarating!”

“Want another one?” 

“No thank you”

*pouts* “Too bad” *does it again with a cute side giggle*

The fact that TJ calls Cyrus underdog is so freaking sweet as well because it combines the swing scene and also the muffin scene (in my opinion), because in the muffin scene he stood up and kind of routed for Cyrus (”routing for the underdog”) and then it’s just a reference to the swings where TJ performs an “underdog”. 

The way the swing scene ends with Cyrus leaving is really nice too. To be honest, those two interactions with Cyrus and TJ so far are with Cyrus making his own decisions. He wanted that muffin and was okay with him doing it himself, then here Cyrus was offering TJ someone to talk to, to confide in without prompt, he had already made the decision to befriend TJ. The swing scene is where Cyrus sees right through TJ because he recognises that he also needs some uplifting.That’s another thing with them both, they aren’t so different, and that fact is what gets TJ to confide in Cyrus every time. Cyrus is a little more free in the respect that he makes it clear when he’s nervous/anxious. 

He owns it and that’s part in parcel to what Cyrus’ arc is about; owning himself, which just so happens to be what TJ helps with on first interaction...

Then the final “shoving” scene.

This is wwaaaaayyyyyy more friendly, playful and encouraging compared to the one in the muffin scene. I honestly think it was meant to parallel it. Cyrus wasn’t walking in, but TJ’s expression and the situation is just way to light to not be friendly and encouraging. It is just a direct parallel situation anyway with TJ helping Cyrus how to somersault is the exact same as TJ helping Cyrus to get the muffin. The context is different now; they know each other, they’re friends and they are getting closer. 

So yeah. 

So what about Cyrus? This next situation is where both of them metaphorically push.

It’s when TJ tells Cyrus about his Dyscalculia.

TJ is being broody, to Cyrus of all people, and the amazing thing is that Cyrus already knows TJ well enough to know that he doesn’t mean it. When I first saw Cyrus put his hand on the rail, I thought it was TJ’s arm (a girl can dream, I’m sorry) but yeah, Cryus was reaching out because he knew TJ wasn’t okay, but because TJ hates the idea of having dyscalculia, feeling like he’s dumb and thinks he is looked down upon, he takes it out on people; pushing them away. We see this as TJ walks away from Cyrus. He was the same with Buffy, and Buffy pushed too, but there is something more against why he was the way he was with Buffy, and also Buffy’s response as well could’ve been better. Plus Buffy here in this scene was rubbing it in TJ’s face. Not good.

Cyrus is practically un-phased, maybe a little disheartened, but he stays where he is; by the rails almost to let TJ know that he is still there.

Cyrus doesn’t give up though, he goes after TJ, he pushes himself in as TJ pushes him away. The imagery of a door indicates to us already that he is crossing over the border.

Something tells me that Cyrus following TJ, Cyrus stating that he does the same as TJ (eats his feelings) and then Cyrus sticking around makes TJ feel okay enough to confide in Cyrus. I think it’s also that matched with Cyrus being so open to him anyway and Cyrus in general. It lets TJ know that Cyrus is there, wants to be and isn’t going away. Cyrus enforces that by his words and actions when they actually talk.

Cyrus sits like that for a reason; despite arms folded in front of him- Cyrus is casual and open.

This scene, honestly is beautiful. If there is anything that confirms Tyrus (other than the cast saying that TJ looking back was deffo to Cyrus) I would argue that this scene tells us. 

It tells us that Cyrus and TJ are on par “Eating your feelings? I do that”- Cyrus bottles things up/feels bad and eating is a comfort. It is metaphorical in the sense that you swallow and try to ignore your feelings, but also just feel like you need comfort so you turn to food (anxiety and depression does this!!)

It tells us that TJ isn’t all that confident. He doesn’t want people to know he is dumb, or that he has a “problem”- this topic I thought would arise with Jonah because of Andi and Cyrus both saying “You’re Jonah Beck!” claiming that by being that he has no flaws (we all know that’s wrong). It must have hurt a little when Cyrus said to TJ about “How can you be sad? You’re the captain of the basketball team”. Mere seconds before that scene TJ was telling Buffy that he didn’t want Basketball euphemisms used with Math to suggest he only knows basketball- TJ wants to be smart; he is smart. He just needs to get around this obstacle, to own it and not let it get in his way. 

Jonah is still portrayed as being good at everything (aside from relationships but I’ll just let that slide), even with his panic attacks, he is still a natural at everything he picks up. TJ is so much more with the fact that we learn he has this one obstacle that to me tells me that he fears what people think of him, that he doesn’t actually like being that person, that maybe he has been put down in the past and maybe has a facade to protect him from stuff. I say this because the thing that really sets TJ at ease is when Cyrus tells him that his teacher can’t fail him or judge him for his dyscalculia, that he is common. It suggests to me that TJ have been privy to people putting him down and he was scared of people (hence the kids that walk through) and his teacher doing that. He is known for his confidence, so I imagine that maybe he doesn’t have such a good home-life or something and they reprimand him if he doesn’t do well. He has to work, unlike all the others who run riot. The only other teen character that we see that has a job is Amber and it’s to help pay and keep up her family. I wouldn’t put it past that TJ is in a similar situation and that maybe his parents aren’t the best, or maybe he has the one parent, who knows. It would be really cool to get more background on him!!!! But yeah, I think maybe here and in the swing scene TJ may have felt like a lost cause, that’s why he had heightened hostility. Also, you see what I say about having a childhood? Having a job already indicates to us that he doesn’t have the same freedom; he has responsibilities, and he doesn’t act like a kid. His childhood may have been taken from him in some way.

This scene also tells us (I feel) with the difference between Buffy and Cyrus in relation to TJ. Buffy was saying and trying to do the exact same thing as Cyrus was saying: “So Buffy was right all along”. Buffy’s actions were just the wrong ones. She didn’t get to know TJ, she didn’t seem to care overly much either (and understandably so). There was a goal. I think she really had to know TJ to really help him in teaching methods. She did try, and she did try understanding with searching into dyscalculia etc, but Cyrus was so much more open and calm... He also knows TJ on a different level because of their similarities and interactions etc. Cyrus has also put in the effort and seen TJ for who he is without any one telling him otherwise. Cyrus’ reaction to TJ saying he has dyscalculia is the best reaction, it’s like he was just learning another casual thing about him, there was no surprise, no pity, just plain “yeah, and?...” attitude. 

This approach is just so different, and I think that’s why TJ really appreciates it. It’s chilled out, it’s like it’s the most casual thing in the world, as it should be. It’s so funny though because TJ is all about helping Cyrus own himself, building him up and here Cyrus is, doing that for TJ. Buffy was trying to tell TJ all this but it was lost. Their hostility clouded it. Cyrus was the middle ground. TJ didn’t want to impress Buffy or anything, he had a goal, just like Buffy did with tutoring. TJ and Buffy really aren’t the endgame. That is made clear when TJ tells Cyrus that he is the one that helped him, not Buffy. That is what the fortune teller meant, but Cyrus is so much more than just a friend. That I think starts to change here, and then as time goes on and finally with the look back bit and rap. That is where things properly change between those two mostly. Cyrus is constantly surprised by TJ, but it means more when it’s for a friend also... That is the moment I believe that Cyrus fell for TJ, but for TJ, I don’t know, maybe it’s just been a slow build, but this scene here when he reveals he had Dyscalculia says a lot.

Finally, I wanted to say about what I stated earlier about Buffy saying that Cyrus can’t do something. Honestly, both Buffy and Andi have no faith sometimes with Cyrus, and that’s very sad. I don’t know whether that will be addressed, or Buffy and Andi just cotton on to “Oh, Cyrus is becoming more comfortable and confident with himself, that’s nice. Maybe he can do that” (most likely the latter but we’ll see). They can be a little selfish and yeah, they can just have very little faith in Cyrus which isn’t fair because as (best) friends you are meant to support each other. 

So yeah. To finish off that last scene with TJ and Cyrus, I forgot to say about how it ends. Cyrus also was getting worried and Cyrus was also open about that...

and TJ reassured him, tells him he was the one that helped the most. 

I think what sets this scene apart from his therapy session with Amber and Buffy is how unforced this was, like everything with TJ and Cyrus. It isn’t forced, it is so uncomplicated compared to literally all the other het ships on the show. It’s probably why I like it so much 😂😂

^ also that is a look of hope, that is hella gay.

But yeah, so Cyrus builds up TJ, just as much as TJ builds up Cyrus. They also push each other in the right direction and they are in it together. They are a team, the set apart from the crowd as well and I can’t wait to see TJ be integrated in the GHC. 

Can’t wait to see what comes of them :)

[c-j-writes]

Fictober 2019

Prompt #2 “Follow me, I know the area.” 

[Untitled Gay Mess]

Rating: T

Warnings/Tags: Will involve drug abuse in later chapters

Chapter Two

The huge modern style house loomed in front of me. It never failed to remind me of some castle. All the houses around this town seemed to resemble some kind of elaborate statement of wealth. Teenagers seeped out of every open space of this one. They sat on the porch, leaned out of windows and scattered themselves around the front lawn. And that’s just the view walking up. 

Once I passed the threshold, a wave of Axe scented testosterone hit me. The strong scent almost choked me, making my eyes water the smallest bit. I hoped with every part of me that college guys next year would have the mental capacity to better judge how much of that shit they actually need to spray. 

A few guys from the baseball team waved to me and nodded. I greeted them back and scanned the entryway for any sign of Sophie. Knowing her, she’d probably be near the booze, so I pushed my way through the crowded house in the direction of the kitchen. A scrawny kid from the JV soccer team stepped right in front of me on my way. He stood there and smiled as if we were friends. 

“Hey, Andy, how’s it going?” His eyebrows did this thing where they lifted after every word he said. It was weird and kind of creepy if I’m being honest. 

“Out of my way, Kid,” I reply, pushing him gently enough to move him without causing a scene. Behind me, I heard a roar of laughter kick up, but I kept moving toward the kitchen. More people greeted me and I split my reactions between nodding back and simply ignoring them. 

When I finally made it to the kitchen, there was some kind of drinking game going on. Two football players were standing across the center island from each other and downing shots. Neither looked in great shape, but they were both powering through. The entertainment caught my attention for a few minutes until one of them took off running for the nearest toilet to hurl in and I remembered that I was supposed to be finding someone. 

“Hey, yo, Andy!” I turned around at my name, finding one of my newer teammates, Tanya, struggling to make her way through the crowd towards me. The kitchen was slowly dissipating after the enticing game ended and everyone refilled whatever they’d been drinking, so by the time Tanya reached me it was fairly empty and quieter than the surrounding rooms.

“Hey, T, what’s up?” I smiled, reaching my hand towards her to slap palms. 

“This place is crazy, I thought it would be a little more chilled out since the school year just started, but it’s intense.” The redhead glanced out of the entryway to the living room that was connected and her eyes widened in exasperation. I followed her gaze and took in the number of teenagers around me. 

“Eh,” I commented, shrugging my shoulders, “I’ve seen worse crowds to be honest.” Though it has been a while since I’d been to a party this big, the last one was probably at the end of last school year. Thinking back, I’m surprised that I can’t remember Tanya being there. She’d joined the team halfway through last season coming from another school, but she got on quickly with the whole team. There was no reason she wouldn’t have been invited. Especially given that it was basically a goodbye party for all of the seniors leaving for colleges. “Weren’t you at the grad party that Matt threw last year?” 

“Who?” she asked. 

“Matt, from the guy’s team? He threw a grad party for the seniors last year.” She looked around the ceiling as if the answer she was looking for was up there somewhere. I turned towards the counter that held all the alcohol while she thought about it, pouring myself a healthy mix of vodka and Coke. 

“Yeah, no, I didn’t go to any parties last year.” My eyes probably bulged out a bit at that.

“What? None? I would’ve definitely invited you if I’d known that, damn, I’m sorry.” I didn’t know why no one would’ve invited her, she never had any issues with anyone and she was one of the best players on our team. I took a sip of my concoction, feeling it burn its way down my throat.

“I got invites, I just never went. Parties aren’t really my thing.” She lifted herself up onto the kitchen island. I stared at her for a bit too long, trying to figure out how she could fit so well with the team and have parties not be her thing. It was like a tradition for our team to party together, we even rotated whose house we went to after every game. 

“But we threw tons of parties during the season, you didn’t go to any of them?” I knew T was fairly quiet, more so than the rest of the team, but I would’ve noticed if someone was consistently absent like that.

“Those get-togethers after games? Yeah, I went to those, but I never went to the ones with more people than just the team.” She lifted her knees up so she could rest her chin on them. I never noticed how shy she was, she was always so bubbly at practice. I brushed a few flyaways out of my face just as someone slapped me on the back.

Kyle, the guy whose house we’re in, comes up beside me with a grin and dilated pupils. “Dude, Andy, what’s up? I haven’t seen you like all summer,” I said, trying to smack my palm but missing my hand entirely. Leave it to Kyle to get plastered at his own party. 

“Yeah, I was busy, what’s new,” I replied, leaning my back against the island next to T and taking another sip of my drink. 

“Hey, your friend upstairs was looking for you, by the way.” He could’ve meant anyone, but the statement did spur me into remembering that I was supposed to be finding Sophie, not chatting with Tanya. 

“Shit, right, Soph,” I muttered. “I’ll see you later, T.” I swept out of the room, trying not to slosh my drink too much as I bounded up the stairwell. Kyle didn’t mention where upstairs she’d be, but I could safely assume it was probably the upstairs lounge. I’d been to enough of his parties to know my way around. 

There were fewer people upstairs, so making my way down the hall was a lot easier than getting around downstairs had been. The lounge materialized beside me and I glanced in, searching the room for the blonde head I'd been looking for. Before I found her, half the room burst into happy squeals.

"Andy!" I barely had time to register my teammates' faces before three of them had crushed me in a hug. "Where have you been?" Laughter bubbled out of me as I nearly lost my footing. 

"Calm down, I was just downstairs," I replied. The girls slowly let go of me, all talking animatedly about some drinking games they were winning. "Hey, have you seen Soph?" I cut them off. Brittany, the tallest of the three, pointed to the far corner of the room. I glanced over and found my blonde sitting on a couch with some other figure I didn't recognize. There were too many bodies in between us to see a clear face.  "Thanks." Absently, I pushed through the group, who simply started chatting with each other. 

There were more people in this one room than I'd found in the entire upstairs area so far, so stumbling through them was a chore. Especially with some of my teammates stopping to greet me every few seconds. I lost part of my drink to some guy's shirt, but he didn't even glance back at the incident. Finally, I reached the corner that Soph was residing in and grinned as she leaped up at me. 

"Ands, what took you so long!" Soph cried, basically hanging off of me. My hands found her shoulders and pushed her up to face me. Her eyes were bloodshot like she'd been crying, but her smile was as bright as ever. 

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, trying to move my head to continue facing hers as she looked around the room. She was way past drunk. "Soph, how much have you had to drink?"

"I haven't had that much!" She stepped backward and fell back down onto the couch. I rolled my eyes, I didn't sign up to drag her ass home from the first party of the year. She started laughing to herself and the person beside her rested a hand on her shoulder. That's when I took the time to notice who it was that was sitting there. 

"You have got to be kidding me," I muttered. Mack looked up at me, her eyes burned into me like they always do.

"Hey, Andrea," she replied, slightly less cheerful than she usually is. 

"Andy," I grumbled. She glanced down toward Soph before looking back at me.

"I found her up here playing some stupid game, she kept tripping, I didn't want her to hurt herself, so I sat her down." I scoffed. 

"What are you even doing here? Who would invite you to a party?" As far as I knew, she didn't know anyone in the school, much less the crowd that she knows I'm a part of. 

"I came with a friend, but I kind of lost track of her when I bumped into this one." Sophie rolled her eyes and looked at me, or somewhere near my left shoulder, but I assumed she was trying to look at me. 

"Come on, I'm fine," she interjected. She tried to reach out and pat me on the leg in reassurance, nearly toppling over in the process. Mackenzie put a hand on her shoulder to steady her and glanced back up at me. 

"Andrea, she's acting like she's on something." My gaze turned to Mackenzie then. 

"She wouldn't do that," I snapped. As concerned as I was for Soph, I knew her better than Mackenzie. Hell, I didn't even know Mackenzie was aware of her existence. I knew my friend and I knew she wouldn't be stupid enough to get caught up in that kind of shit. She has college to think about, the same as me. At my tone, Mackenzie seemed to back down a bit, looking at her feet before continuing. 

"Andrea, I'm just trying to help." She glanced back up, her amber eyes conveying more emotion than I had in me. I sighed. It felt like a small failure to give in, but I couldn't deny that she was right. What mattered right now was Sophie, not me and my issues. 

"Fine, thanks." I kneeled in front of the blonde, taking her hands in mine to get her attention. "Hey, Soph, I'm going to get you home, alright?" She groaned her argument, but I started pulling her out of the seat anyway. 

 "Here let me help you." Mackenzie scooped up Sophie into her arms effortlessly.

“I don’t need your help,” I tried to argue. But, as always, Mackenzie didn’t take no for an answer.

“I wasn’t really asking.” Sophie giggled at her response. 

“Yeah, well, neither was I.” Mackenzie stopped on her way to the door after my words sunk in. She turned to look at me and leaned forward.

“Look, I don’t want to fight with you,” she whispered, trying not to let Sophie hear her. “Can we just focus on getting your friend out of here right now?" With a quick glare, I nodded. "Okay, now where am I going? This house is like a maze."

"Just follow me, I know the area," I commented, leading Mack toward the stairs. When I reached the last step, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Upon further investigation, the appendage belonged to Trenton, some friend of Derrick’s that Sophie had wanted to set me up with. He looked rather concerned when he saw Sophie in Mackenzie’s arms.

“Hey, Andy, what happened to her?” He asked. His hands fidgeted as if he wanted to help but didn’t know exactly how.

I didn’t know how to respond. Sophie wouldn’t want me to tell everyone that she got completely wasted, she’d want to be able to preserve her pride as much as possible. But when Derrick walked up beside Trenton, I flipped shit. “And where the hell have you been? You’re supposed to look after her when you take her to these parties!” The tall blond looked dumbfounded. I shouldn’t have expected anything else, he’s an idiot. Sophie could never see through the mask of popularity, but I could. 

“She tells me all the time not to,” he replied, trying to laugh it off. “You know, she thinks she’s a big girl, can handle herself.” I wanted nothing more than to deck the asshole right there, but before I could, someone beat me to it. Mackenzie. Her fist plowed into his cheek like a bullet. 

I looked behind me to find Sophie having been laid down on a couch nearby. Mackenzie walked back to her after punching Derrick in the jaw. She picked her up and continued out of the house as if nothing had happened. The entire room was silent, Derrick was nursing his jaw, too drunk to really react, and Trenton was just quietly watching to see what I was going to do. I tried to stutter out an explanation, but couldn’t get anything out. When my words failed me, I decided on simply following Mackenzie. 

I had to jog through the house to catch up to her. “What was that?” I asked when she was right in front of me again. She gave me a fleeting look over her shoulder, still making her way through the crowd of people in the living room.

“He deserved it,” she replied. We reached the front door and she moved to the side for me to open it. I wanted to ask her more questions, but it was late and Sophie was what mattered right now. So, I opened the door. Mackenzie walked out and quickly scanned the cars in the yard before turning to me. “Please tell me you’ve gotten your license by now.” 

My stomach dropped as I realized what she meant. I had to take Soph home and I, being an idiot, rode my skateboard over here. I looked over at the porch to our left, noticing my skateboard resting against the side of the house. Mackenzie sighed.

“Okay, you’re not going to like this proposition, but I drove my friend here,” she said, looking me straight in the eyes like she always did, making me feel like she saw right through me. “My Subaru is over there.” She gestured with her head to the driveway, where I noticed her bright blue car. “I can drive the two of you home if you need.” 

My mouth twisted around itself while my mind spun around everything I wanted to say. I wanted to say that I didn’t need her help, that I didn’t need her, that she could go fuck herself. But none of that was true. And none of it would help Sophie. “Fine,” I replied. It was quiet, barely audible. But Mackenzie heard it and nodded. She carried Soph over to the vehicle and set her into the backseat. I picked up my skateboard, feeling the dread setting into my stomach. 

“Where am I going?” Mackenzie asked once I stepped down into the car. I looked back at Soph, she was nearly unconscious. My father would have a fit if he saw her like this, it was better to just sneak her back into her own home.

“Denham Street, last house on the left before it turns into Richmond.” Mackenzie nodded as she turned the car on, revving the engine louder than was probably necessary. She barely checked her mirrors before she was backed out and taking off from the lit up house.

The car hummed quietly as Mackenzie drove down the road, towards the main street. Glancing behind me, I found that Sophie was fast asleep. Snoring lightly into the seat cushion underneath her head. That left Mackenzie and I. Silently driving through town. 

I tried to keep my attention on the road or my phone or the hem of my shirt. Anything to keep us from having to talk. And then—

"So, how have you been?" 

If only it were possible to just pretend I hadn't heard her. But it was too silent otherwise for that. "I'm fine," I replied, keeping my eyes forward. Not letting myself look at her. Why did she have to sound so fucking genuine? God, she was making me wish she'd just put on her stupid shit-eating grin and crack a joke. 

"I think that's the least aggressive thing you've said to me all day." She chuckled as she said that. That stupid chuckle that takes up half her face. I didn't even have to look at her to know that.

"Don't get used to it." Another chuckle. Why was she so amused at my bad attitude? 

"Of course not, I know better." I almost said, 'do you', but I figured that would just engage her more. She was getting more and more infuriating, so any reaction would just build my own frustration either way. She had been right at the house, I didn't want to pick a fight. Not tonight. Not in this situation. 

Instead, I stared out the window. Focusing on the blurred trees and houses that we passed, not on the brunette beside me. God, the drive to Sophie's house had never seemed longer. Closing my eyes, I tried to lean my head against the window and pretend I was anywhere else. I breathed in through my nose, calming my mind from wherever it was trying to run off to. As if the universe didn't care how much I wanted to ignore the situation, my lungs filled with the smell of cedarwood and pine needles. She could get an air freshener that’s not as strong or something, so it wouldn't invade my senses. But the smell immediately brought my mind crashing down to last summer. To the countless hours that I spent sitting here while she drove us wherever we were going at the time. 

We worked together. She had just moved to town and was the new face that stuck in my head for the few hours that I didn’t spend with her at work or on the beach or in this damn car. She didn’t know anyone else in town and I just wanted a summer where I didn’t have to be the person everyone knew. It worked out perfectly. Until I realized she’d be going to the same school as me in the fall. And it suddenly got harder to keep my old life from messing up the one I created on the side. 

We turned onto Sophie’s street and before I could think better of it, I glanced over at Mack. Her hair was messy but pulled back into a short ponytail. I hadn’t noticed the eye makeup she was wearing until just then. It was weird, seeing her with makeup but even more weird that I didn’t even notice. Of course, I try not to look at her face all that much. My eyes dipped farther down and I watched her lips mouth the words to the song that played softly in the speakers. My face heated up when she tilted her head and caught me staring. My head snapped to face in front of me and suddenly I needed to get out of that car. 

Thankfully, she just pulled up to Soph’s house. I slammed the car door open and nearly fell out of it, catching the door handle before I made a complete fool of myself. The fresh air hit my face and I breathed in the safe, non-scented aroma of freshly cut lawns. While I was calming myself, Mack had already gotten Sophie out of the car and lead her up the driveway a bit. 

“Here, I’ll take her,” I whispered, jogging to catch up to the two. I grabbed ahold of Soph’s free arm and turned towards the side of the house. We’d have to sneak in through her window. The blonde slumped on top of me, giggling slightly but fairly close to being dead weight.

“Want me to wait for you? I can give you a ride home?” Mack tilted her head, smiling just enough to make my gut feel like lead. Being in that car was already enough to make me think of things I was really trying to push out of my mind. But getting a ride home would be too much. That would be too similar to the nights she drove me home from work. I couldn’t deal with that. 

“No,” I said a bit too fast. I cleared my throat and looked at the house instead of her annoying face. “No, I’ll just stay here.” I don’t know if she nodded or just turned around, but I heard her shoes tap against the ground as she left. I couldn’t make myself move until her car started again and I heard the engine fade into the distance. With a deep breath, I pulled Sophie, who had basically fallen asleep on my shoulder, towards her window.