#reproduction as truth and are all think that’s why he reacted so strangely when they asked about halfas was because he didn’t know

[gummybearstastelikesadness]

Danny around 16 human years is working with the JL as a representative for the current King of the Infinite Realms (he’s his own representative because he wanted to meet the JL), about some Realm objects being in this world that really shouldn’t.

The JL keep making culturally disrespectful comments and unintentional insults about the Realms citizens. Eventually one of them not believing Danny is a ghost asks how he died if he’s so adamant on being dead. This results in Danny snapping at the League. Completely terrifying all of them and starts yelling about how disrespectful all of them have been the entire time, leading to a crash course in Realm decorum.

Eventually he starts explaining how asking about someone obsessions or how they died are extremely offensive and considered aggressive actions towards all types of ghosts, even realm born and halfas.

Danny realizes too late they don’t know about halfas and starts panicking over giving away his human identity. And has to come up for an explanation on what halfas and realm borns are. Danny who is blushing out of embarrassment and stuttering to find an explanation looks around, sees the bat symbol on batman. Explanation for half ghosts and born ghosts, Bat=> bird=> BIRDS AND BEES!!

Danny then spends a good 30 minutes attempting to explain how reproduction works for ghosts and between species, except Danny doesn’t know how ghosts reproduce. And health was a freshman year class, meaning he missed most of it and and also has no idea how human reproduction let alone cross species reproduction works. Danny either gives them info that makes so little sense it must be right or what sounds like a 4 year olds idea of how babies are made, but he’s the representative so he must be telling them accurate information.

Eventually the league runs into Vlad Masters and hear him talk about halfas. The league is like “we know what those are!” and Vlad thinks his identity is compromised until they start talking about something that sound like a extremist conspiracy theory. Vlads just like “how did you come up with that?!?” The league say Phantom told them that and Vlad realizes that Danny has no idea how any species reproduce.

Then Danny refuses to listen to Vlad try to explain ghost and human reproduction to him, because ‘Vlads just a Froot Loop’.

[monstersandmaw]

Embers - Male dragon shifter x reader, Chapter Eight (v. light nsfw)

Friday means it’s dragon shifter romance day!

Last time we learned that Mikaeïl's late partner was also an artist, and that made us feel a bit wobbly and insecure... This time we finish our dinner date with him and make one or two steps forwards...

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

“So you see why I was reluctant to talk to you about him…” Mikaeïl murmured softly after he’d risked a glance up at your face. “I would have told you, I’m sure. My past would have come up sooner or later, but…” he murmured, his nostrils flaring with frustration. “Ah, that’s just the face I didn’t want to see,” he said as he glanced up and caught sight of your stricken expression.

You tried to hide it behind a smile, pretending to brush it off. Whoever this long-lived creature had been, he had clearly been unfathomably dear to Mikaeïl. How could you even begin to compare with that? With a hundred years of love? What could you offer him after all that time in each other’s company? “You’re right,” you said with an overly bright smile. “It’s not first date talk. I’m sorry I pushed it…” you said, fighting the way your throat closed up around the words.

His shoulders relaxed just a little, but he still had his jaw clenched tight as a goblin’s metalwork vice. He swallowed thickly and said, “Alright, but let me just say that my attraction to you isn’t some vain attempt to rekindle something that was lost a long time ago. You are an artist, and so was he, but there the similarity ends.” The light that glowed in his eyes was like a fire burning low, the coals smoldering red after the bright heat of flames had exhausted itself. In truth, he looked suddenly very tired, and every bit his two hundred and sixty odd years old.

While you could still taste that bitterness on your tongue from the self-doubt that had swirled through you like a rip tide and stripped you of your confidence, you tried to be brave. Mikaeïl suddenly looked thoroughly miserable, though he was hiding it behind his usual chilly facade. On impulse, you reached your hand out to his where it now lay quiet as a corpse’s on the wooden tabletop. The chill of his pale fingers always surprised you, but you squeezed his strangely delicate hand and smiled at him.

“Come on,” you said. “We were doing so well. Tell me about how you know the goblin who owns this place… I didn’t catch his name…”

“Kiriavin?” he said, his throat working again as he swallowed and sighed, trying to push his pain aside. A wariness still lingered in the corners of his reptilian eyes, but he clearly appreciated your efforts at moving things along. He chuckled then. “I taught his wife at university, if you can believe it.”

“I keep forgetting how old you are,” you snorted, which made him roll his lovely eyes. “I wondered if you knew him through your music? Lidaë back at Stickybeak’s cafe mentioned that there was a goblin in your group…”

He opened his mouth, but before he had the chance to go on, Kiriavin returned with menus and two glasses of sparkling wine in elegant flutes. “You drink, I presume?” the goblin asked you before setting your glass down on the table, and you nodded. “Very well. This is a sparkling wine made from grapes grown just outside Starfall Springs. And in a moment I’ll bring some nibbles out for you as well,” he added with a sharp, hungry grin that briefly made you wonder exactly what a goblin might consider ‘a nibble’…

“Thank you, friend,” Mikaeïl said and something wordless passed between them in the space of a heartbeat.

Kiriavin nodded once, and then left with a distinctly softer smile.

Attempting the same kind of silent eloquence, you tilted your head curiously at Mikaeïl and he smiled the first true smile since his late partner had been brought up. His lips curled slowly and then drew back to reveal his white teeth, the canines more pronounced than on a human. You wondered fleetingly what else about him might differ, but reined your imagination back in as he spoke, shaking his head slightly. “That sly old goblin knows exactly what just happened between us, and he’s sorry for it. I think we might be expecting even finer wine with the meal…”

“He doesn't have to,” you said guiltily, but Mikaeïl waved his hand.

“Trust me, you can’t make a goblin do anything else once they’ve got their mind set on something. It’s quite literally impossible.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” you said. “Cheers,” and you held up the delicate flute of sparkling wine.

The expression on his face was a strange one as he regarded you in the candlelight of the restaurant. It reminded you of the way someone looks at a painting in an art gallery that they’ve only seen in books and reproductions before. He stared at you as if trying to fix the lines and shapes of your face in his mind, as though he would sculpt you later from memory. It only lasted perhaps three seconds, but it was so powerful that you nearly didn’t react as he gently chinked his glass against yours. “Cheers,” he said, the word very softly enunciated.

Even the way he drank was elegant and he held you transfixed as he sipped, the very tip of his tongue just sampling the little tide-mark that was left behind on his upper lip after he’d swallowed. When his eyes met yours again, his gaze clouded and he frowned quizzically at you. “What?”

Taking a deep breath, you grinned and said, “Are you honestly telling me that after two and a half hundred years, you have no idea how good looking you are?”

The flush began at his collarbones and crept up his cheeks to his slightly tapered ears, obscuring the golden dusting of very faint freckles on his cheekbones.

“Come on,” you pressed playfully.

He licked his lips. “I… I have been told as much, yes, but… it’s… it’s always embarrassing to me.”

“To be attractive? Mikaeïl, people would pay millions to look like you!”

The red in his cheeks darkened and he took another sip, looking away.

“I’m sorry,” you said, still laughing that somehow you of all people had managed to make a powerful creature like a dragon shifter blush furiously.

The meal was incredible, the wine heady and rich, but perfectly matched to the food. Mikaeïl and you soon moved past your initial awkwardness and settled into an evening of playful banter. As you shared a gorgeous dessert, you asked him about his family, and he said that his sister Caerelia was the only family he had left now. “She’s very… protective of me,” he murmured, going pink in the cheeks again. “She’s been asking me a lot about you.”

“Oh?”

“Mmm. I told her to mind her own business though. I’m not a hatchling anymore… But she’s never going to change.”

“As long as she’s not… you know…” you shrugged, “Overbearing…”

“Oh, she’s overbearing,” he laughed. “But I know what you mean. She means well, and nearly always backs off if I ask her to.” Inhaling deeply, he leaned back in his seat and said, “I can’t eat any more.”

“Me neither,” you groaned. “That was so good.”

Twenty minutes later, he was walking you along the road towards the taxi stand in the centre of Old Trollbridge. You held his hand and murmured, “Thank you for tonight. I… I had a lot of fun.”

“So did I,” he said, his feet falling still as he turned to look down at you. In a barely-audible whisper, he asked, “May I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

Letting go of your hand, he placed his left hand on your hip, drawing you close with his right, the fingers of which he placed just below your chin, tilting your face up. His eyes glowed in the dim light, and your heart rate soared as he brushed the backs of his fingers across your cheek before cupping the back of your head and coaxing you further into the gesture. His lips touched yours in the briefest ghost of a kiss before he returned and began to kiss you more confidently, as though he now believed that you did want this after all.

You let him set the pace of the kiss, his grip tightening suddenly on your hip, but after what felt like only a moment or two, he drew back, his breathing a little ragged.

“Mikaeïl?”

His eyes really were glowing golden, and he ground his jaw again, stepping back and closing his eyes before laughing. “Apologies,” he murmured. “I got a little carried away there…”

It hadn’t been that fervent a kiss… “I didn’t think you did - oh,” you breathed as he raised his lip up on one side in a little playful snarl and showed you that his canine was significantly longer than it had been, almost like a vampire’s. A deep, low-frequency rumble rolled off him too before he turned it into a laugh.

“You do remember that it’s been a while for me…”

“Yeah, but, oh… When you said you hadn’t been with anyone in that time, you meant… at all…?”

The blush was back in his cheeks and he shook his head, his red hair dancing in the lamp light. “It… I didn’t… It wasn’t something that I…” He took a sharp, shaky inhale and smiled awkwardly. “Does that bother you?”

“Not at all,” you said gently, pressing your palm to his cheek and watching as his eyelids fluttered closed and he leaned gratefully into the touch like an affectionate cat.

“Thank you…” he said without opening his eyes. “Come, let me take you home.”

You ached all over to stay with him that night, but you sensed he needed more time, to move at a slower pace, and it was probably for the best anyway. With a nod, you and he continued to walk side by side down the cobbled street, and in another grateful gesture, he briefly squeezed your fingers in his without looking at you.

Part Nine

—

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[hamonsurveysoverdrive]

Quintessential

Have you thought about an ex today???? Yeah, the kids' dad. Could you handle a long distance relationship??? Probably not. What are you listening to right now? Nothing. Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you? Yes. Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?? Not really. Do you know anybody who was abused?? Yes. Do you know anyone named Tom? Yes. Who was the last person that said "i love you" to you? My kiddos. How many people do you know with your name? One. Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? Target. How do you feel about the person who texted you last? She's awesome. Have you kissed someone in the past 24 hours???? Yepp. If you could change your eye color what would you change it to? Grey. Have you kissed anyone whose name started with S? Yepp. Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around??? Yes, several someones. Is this year the best year of your life?? 2020 is no one's best year. Do you have any strange phobias?? Yes. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more? Yepp. How often do you see your ex? I see Drew pretty much weekly. If the last person you kissed needs you at 3 am and you could go, would you go? Absolutely. Do you miss your past? Some aspects. Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like? No. What side of a heart do you draw first? Left. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? Work, yes. What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it? I have a backpack purse that is the map of Neverland. Nothing is in it, because I'm using my new purse now. Do you have a friend you can tell secrets to and you're sure they won't tell anyone? Yepp. Is there a secret you've never told your parents? Yes. Do you have candles in your room? No. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone for more than 5 minutes? My mom and her husband. Do you have your eye on anyone? I'm already with someone. Are you happy with your life at the moment? A lot of parts, sure. Some parts, not so much. What is something you disliked about your day? I have a bit of headache, but other than that it's been a GREAT day. What's the last thing you drank? Water. Who was the last person to tell you they love you? My kiddos. What are you listening to? Crooked Teeth - Death Cab For Cutie. Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today? Yes What's the last thing you said out loud? "Thank you." How's your hair looking? I need a haircut, but it's not looking too bad. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? Nope. Ever kissed in the rain? Yes. Are you sleepy? Yes. What TV show should never stop getting produced? Idgaf Happier on your own or with someone? I'm happier with Justin. Who's the last text you received from? Kelsi. Is cheating ever okay? No. Would you ever be the "other person", as in help someone cheat? I have before, it was a dark time in my life. Can you whistle? No. Waiting on anything? Insurance check. What shoes did you wear today? Black canvas sneakers. Name all the people you've seen today: Justin, Shonda, Andy, Max, Dad. In that order. What's irritating you right now? Nothing really. Do you like someone? Yepp. Where is your cell phone? Great question... Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions? Obviously. Have you ever passed out? Yepp. Where is the person you miss the most at this time? Alabama. Do you have a best friend? I have a few. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yepp. Are your eyes the same color of your mom's or dad's? Closer to my mom's. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? Yes. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? He does smoke, and so do I. Ever found more than a dollar in a random place? Sure. How many of the opposite sex do you really trust? Justin, my dad, Needles. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? Nope. Did you tell the last person you liked your feelings for them? Yeah, that's why we're together. What time will you be getting up tomorrow morning? No specific time. How are you feeling at this exact moment in time? Great. Any weekend plans? Just hanging out with the kiddos. Will you be in bed within twenty minutes? I don't plan on it. Who were you with at 1 AM this morning? Justin, Liz, Zach. Closest pink object? Post-It note. Are you mad at anyone? Nope. How old will you be in 5 years? 37. Thanks for that. Are you watching TV while doing this? No. Last thing you ate? Mini quiches. Are you having a good hair day? Meh. Do you miss someone? Yes. Do you have any bruises? No. Are you hot or cold right now? Neither. Who are your last 4 texts from? Kelsi, Krystle, Justin, mom. What's your middle name? Victoria. What's your current favorite color? Grey. When is your birthday? November 2. What color shirt are you wearing? It's mostly black. Are you imagining anyone naked right now? I mean, now I am lol Do you want to see somebody right now? Nah Where is your mom? Either at home or out running errands. Speak any other languages? Not fluently. Do you like rain? Yes. What are you thinking about right now? These questions. What would be harder, for you to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back? Idk. Your best friend was caught smoking weed in the bathroom, how do you react? Depends on which best friend lol. Kelsi I'd be shocked, I'd probably laugh at the others. What's the furthest away from home you have ever been? NYC. Is there a chick that knows everything or mostly everything about you? Yes Who was the last person you cried in front of? Andy? How many cell phones have you had in your life? Too many. Do you currently have a hickey? Nah, but Justin does lol Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? Yes Look behind you, what do you see? My dining room table. What's on your schedule for tomorrow? Nothing in particular. Do you think that you're a good person? Mostly. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? One hour lol Can you see your purse right now? Nah Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? No. Are there products in your hair? Yes. Can you see a stuffed animal from where you’re sitting? Nope. Have you ever eaten cat food? No. Did you ever try to watch yourself pee when you were little? I'm sure. When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? Sometimes. Do you actually like sneezing? Not really? What about coughing? Nope. Have you taken a shower yet today? Not yet. How many pets do you have? A cat named Merlyn and a dog named Valentine. Do you actually like them? Yes. Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? I have more than one. Are the people who you hang out with at school considered your "real friends"? I do college online, I know none of my schoolmates lol Do you wear skirts a lot? I wouldn't say a lot. Mini skirts or longer ones? Mini. Do you basically live in jeans? No. Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Not a lot, but I have some. Name one movie you like and your favorite character in it: Gone With the Wind, Scarlett O'Hara. How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? Six? Do you wear white after Labor Day even though it’s against the fashion rules? That's so dumb Or do you hardly ever wear white anyway? I don't wear it that often Do you like hoodies? Who doesn't? Big ones or the form fitting kind? Big. Do you wear polo shirts a lot? Fuck no. Do you straighten your hair? Rarely. Should you straighten it? No. Have you ever gotten a real massage? Yes. When’s the last time you got your nails done? No clue. What was your favorite TV show when you were a little kid? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Weren’t Nickelodeon shows much better back in the day? Yes. Do you remember watching The Secret World of Alex Mac? Yes. How about Rocko’s Modern Life? Yes. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? Possibly? Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? Yes. Do you love pictures as much as every other teenager in the world? I'm not a teenager. Are orgasms cool? Absolutely. Are you organized or messy in school? I am a combination lol Do you love your siblings? Mhmmm Do you have a step family? I have a step-father. Do you like Advil or Tylenol? Ibuprofen. What grade were you in when you got your first period (assuming you’re a girl)? 7th. Do you like girls, guys, or both? Both. Do you love your reproductive organs? Uhm, sure. Do you love your computer? Yeah. Are you one of those people who never drink soda? No. Or are you one of those people who are addicted? Yes. Do you drink coffee? Yes. Do you think it actually gives you energy? Yeah. Do you like basically all of your clothes? That's why I bought them. Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? Any of it. Do you honestly think you’re an interesting person? I can be. What song are you listening to? Float On - Modest Mouse. Why do you like that song? It's actually the only Modest Mouse song I do NOT like, but it came up on shuffle. What did your last incoming text message say? "I can rub it in his face without even actually saying anything." Look at your received call list. Who is number 5? I don't wanna get up to get my phone. Do you ever wish you were a different race, and if so, what? I don't think about stuff like that? Do hobos frighten you? No. What's the most you have ever spent in the crane toy machines? Not a lot. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Here. When is the last time you were in a hospital? After my car wreck. Why were you there? To check on my ribs and head. What is the most painful piercing you have had? The first time I got my nose pierced. Have you ever cried after one of your favorite sports teams lost a game? Once, when the Lakers lost the state championship against the Celtics. I was pregnant, okay?? Would you marry a 90-year-old billionaire? If he didn't want sex, hell yeah. Have you ever kept a fortune from a Chinese fortune cookie? No. Have you ever told a lover that they were good in bed, when they were not? No. Would you jump into a lake to save a stranger? Depends. Do you think your life story would make a great movie? Meh. What TV show world would you fit right into? Idk. Would you rather be in a room with Micheal Jackson or a rattlesnake? Neither. Have you ever gone to a bookstore at 12 AM to buy the next Harry Potter book? No. Have you ever been so bored that you counted cracks in the walls? No. Do you read while you eat? Sometimes. How long does it usually take you to drink a beverage? Depends on the beverage. What did you want to be when you were in kindergarten? A writer. What do you want to be now? Librarian.

[teenybeanielinguine]

Outlander Season 5 - A Girl Can Dream

 It’s been a little over two weeks since the Season 4 finale... and DAMN, the withdrawal is hitting me hard.  I’ve rewatched all my favorite scenes, re-read all my favorite passages, and scoured Tumblr for every piece of fanfiction available.  But nothing seems capable of filling the Outlander-shaped void in my heart.

Since I clearly have nothing better to do (not true; there are A LOT of other things I should be doing), I’ve decided to grace you all with my unsolicited thoughts (no need to thank me).  Season 5 has no announced release date, but I’m not known for my patience, so I’m hopping on the crazy train a little early.  Destination: The Fiery Cross. (Spoilers ahead.)

About The Fiery Cross

I’ve read quite a few posts that label Drums of Autumn as the pivotal point in the series.  I respectfully disagree.

DoA felt like the next step in a gradual evolution.  It’s true that Bree and Roger gained their independence from the J/C plotline in DoA, but DG had been prepping us for this divergence for quite a while.  Claire was our only narrator in Outlander, and while she remains the only 1st person POV, other characters have been quietly adding their voices to hers.  Roger joined her in Dragonfly in Amber, followed by Jamie and John Grey in Voyager, and we finally get Brianna in Drums of Autumn (that’s RIGHT: in the main books, we hear Roger’s POV before we ever hear Jamie’s).  Because of these constantly expanding POVs, DoA just felt like a natural progression, rather than a huge departure from the status quo.

The Fiery Cross, on the other hand, feels like a turning point.  Not only is it the first book to not get a newly added POV, but the story starts to get a little... unpredictable.

All of the books have a fair amount of twistiness and unpredictability, but our characters have pretty clear goals in each installation so far: get back to the stones, save Jamie from Black Jack, prevent the Rising, prevent Culloden, make Brianna believe the truth, find Jamie after 20 years, rescue Young Ian, establish the Ridge, warn Jamie and Claire about the fire, rescue Roger...  I know I’m generalizing here, but you get the point.  Our heroes all have clearly defined end goals, and they’re putting all their energy into achieving them, despite the twists and turns that DG throws their way.  The characters may not always succeed, but you, the reader, always know where the story is headed.

By the start of The Fiery Cross, the goals are a little broader, more nebulous.  There may be unrest in North Carolina, the American Revolution may be looming in the distance, but basically the Fraser family just wants to live in peace on the Ridge.  That’s it.  No daring rescues, no dramatic reunions; they just want some peace and quiet.  Of course, they aren’t going to get it, because this is Outlander-verse, where Murphy’s Law is on steroids.

So the Frasers play it by ear, taking on every new challenge as it comes.  There is no clear path forward, they just have to react as best they can to the events around them.  In consequence, the reader gets a series of smaller meandering stories, with the distinct feeling that something bigger is happening in the background.  I personally love this, because I have no clue what’s going to happen next, so when something big happens, it takes me completely by surprise.  And you get to see the characters just exist in day-to-day life, which is the best.  Some of the characters still have personal goals (spoiler alert: Stephen Bonnet definitely did NOT die in that explosion), but the pursuit of those goals isn’t driving the story nearly as much as in past installments.

This is all to say that, while Season 5 is going to have to hit some major plot points, there is (in my opinion) a fair amount of breathing room for interpretation, and lots of fun to be had.  I’m fascinated to see the show tackle this new challenge.

My Wish List for Season 5

When I say “wish list”, I don’t mean to imply a series of demands.  I have no creative control over the adaptation, and I’m not listing these wishes in the vain hope that someone on the production team will notice.  This is just for fun, and I will be perfectly content if none of these make it into the show.  Also, not all of these are pulled from the book; some of them are just things I would love to see.

So here are my top ten wishes, in no particular order:

Roger the Fangirl.  In the midst of all the Roger-hate this past season, the OL fandom has forgotten one crucial fact: Roger is the ultimate J/C shipper.  This romantic idiot is the whole reason that Claire went back in time to find Jamie!  You’d think Jamie’s fists would have beaten the ship right out of Roger, but if last season proves anything, it’s that Roger doesn’t give up easily.  He’s gonna keep shipping like his life depends on it, and there are some really cute moments in TFC where he fangirls over how adorable Jamie and Claire are together (also, Jamie is going to become his new idol).  I suppose it would be unrealistic to hope that he and Murtagh form a fan club next season...?

Brothers and Sisters.  Am I the only one who wanted to scream when Brianna and Fergus were right next to each other in the Wilmington jail and they didn’t acknowledge each other?  By the end of S4, we don’t even know whether Fergus and Marsali know about Bree’s existence (I mean, Fergus helped capture Bonnet, but he and Marsali didn’t say a word about Bree), and that frustrates me to no end.  The books skipped over the getting-to-know-you stuff too, which is crazy considering that they are siblings (adopted or not)!  I would kill for a scene where Jamie and Claire are struggling to explain why they have a fully-grown daughter, as well as some bonding time between siblings.  Bree and Marsali are definitely going to get along, cause badass women stick together.

The Snake Bite.  The snake bite incident (aftermath included) is one of my favorite sequences in TFC.  It brings Roger and Jamie closer together, it shows the courage of the Fraser women in a crisis, and it rallies the entire Ridge community in their worry for Jamie.  I suppose it’s sadistic of me, but I loved watching everyone freak out when they thought Jamie was going to die or lose a leg.  And then the 20th century women come to the rescue!  An entire episode dedicated to that whole plotline would be amazing.

Grannie and Grand-da.  Claire and Jamie are not only adorable as grandparents, they’re relatable AF.  They might love their new grandson to pieces, but that’s not going to stop them from being honest about the realities of childcare.  Jamie in particular is hilarious; he builds an entire house at top speed to get away from the screeching baby (and his newly reunited parents), and then he compares Bree unflatteringly to the white sow (not to her face, of course; see Chapter 30 for a good laugh).  I’d love to see that side of Jamie and Claire next season.

Wolf’s Brother.  We might have said a tearful goodbye to Young Ian in the S4 finale, but we haven’t seen the last of him.  My guess is that he’s going to make a dramatic reappearance in the S5 finale, but I really hope we see him before then.  Showing Young Ian’s time among the Mohawk would give Outlander a chance to showcase the amazing First Nations actors that appeared in S4 (Braeden Clarke, anyone?) as well as explore how Ian slowly blends his Highland upbringing with Mohawk customs.

Claire the Science Nerd.  So far all of Claire’s medical expertise has been utilized in life-or-death situations, but establishing a medical practice on the Ridge gives her the opportunity to geek out over plants and experiment in reproducing 20th century medicine in the 18th century.  Over the course of TFC, she gives genetics lessons, performs two tonsillectomies, and produces penicillin (among other things).  This passion for her craft is one of the reasons I love Claire so much.  And her nerd moments aren’t always serious: one of my favorite scenes in the book features Claire and her microscope giving Jamie a hilarious lesson in reproductive biology.

Fraser’s Ridge.  We didn’t get to see much of the Ridge community in S4, although Jamie did allude to the farmers who contributed the grain to make whisky.  The community is comprised of a growing array of Scottish immigrants, and the drama they bring to Claire and Jamie’s lives wavers between amusing and disastrous.  I don’t think the show will have time to explore the entire cast of characters, but I’m hoping to see Thomas Christie and his children introduced, at least.  I’ve always found Tom Christie a strangely compelling character; his children, on the other hand, are nothing more than a necessary evil.  I also really hope we meet the twins, Josiah and Keziah Beardsley (Lizzie’s story is about to get really interesting).

The MacKenzie Bloodline.  Despite all the time-traveling she’s been doing, Claire has yet to meet any of her ancestors (that we know of...  DG might be holding out on us).  Roger, on the other hand, is not going to be so lucky (if you’ve read all eight books, you’ll know that Roger runs into his ancestors A LOT).  By the end of S4, I’m not sure Jamie is aware that his daughter is married to Geillis Duncan and Dougal MacKenzie’s descendant, but I wanna be there when he and Murtagh find out (a perfect opportunity for some good dialogue and tension).  And while Roger may be able to explain his ancestry to Jamie and Murtagh (both of whom are fully aware of the existence of time travel), he’s not going to be able to give the same explanation to Jocasta.  In the beginning of TFC, there’s a really great conversation between Jocasta and Roger where Jocasta is kinda fishing around for clues about Roger’s family.  Roger, of course, can’t tell her that he’s actually her great-great-grandnephew (give or take a few ‘great’s).  My hope is that the show includes some version of this conversation and continues to play around with Roger’s MacKenzie heritage (and all its implications).

Future Talk.  With three time-travelers in the family, there’s bound to be some discussion of the future.  Especially with the tension mounting in North Carolina and Murtagh aligning himself with the Regulators.  I am yearning for some deep discussion between Jamie, Murtagh, and the travelers about the events to come.  I have a hunch that either Claire or Bree has already informed Murtagh about the American Revolution, based on a comment he made to Jocasta about a “different ending”, but I want to see it actually played out on screen.  The interplay between the characters who know the future and those who don’t is fascinating to me, and I want more of it.

Jamie the Protector.  Jamie’s protective instincts have had some disastrous consequences this past season, but he is going to redeem himself next season.  Early on in TFC, Jamie claims Roger as the “son of his house”, and he proceeds to stand by that claim throughout the book, especially in the aftermath of Roger’s wrongful hanging at the hands of Governor Tryon.  This time, Jamie’s protective feelings aren’t going to result in a beating, though it’s a close call.  I love this shift, from Jamie beating Roger to Jamie protecting/avenging Roger; it’s a very satisfying development.

Bonus: Geese.  Brianna and Roger may have a child together, but they have never lived together as a married couple.  They also don’t have very much experience being in a serious relationship (S4 showed us that they really don’t know how to argue properly).  However, they have both grown up quite a bit since their hand fasting, and you get to see them learning how to coexist in Chapter 33 of TFC.  It’s a great scene, where Roger’s just come back with the militia, and he and Bree have a meaningless fight because she hasn’t had it easy since the militia left.  But they resolve their argument peacefully as Bree vents her frustrations to Roger and gives him a drawing of some geese as a Christmas present.  A really wonderful everyday moment.

There are, of course, more things I’d like to see, but these are my favorites.  I thought I’d list them out now, since this is going to be a LONG Droughtlander, and I am sure to get obsessed with something else eventually (the new A Discovery of Witches show looks promising).  Also, I’m going to temporarily forget about Season 5 if Bees comes out first.

What are your wishes for Season 5?  If you choose to respond, please be kind and respectful.

[razbiityy-blog]

crucial canon questions. 

taken from this meme because I thought maybe I should write more about Vera as I have yet to explain some things about her ( and spoilers, I love her ). Warning for graphic material bellow the cut, featuring the mentions of abuse, torture && the like. 

There are mentions of some other characters in this as well, such as @brothersinthedetails, @dungeonsandmemes, @hoodedspark && @mechanicallyunrealistic which are all written by PRINGLES. 

1.    |   what would completely break your character?

―【 canon. 】    vera is very hard to break, due to the fact that she was already broken at a very young age by her biological father ( Lucifer Tepes | @brothersinthedetails ). She grew up knowing that people aren’t always good, that some people are born evil. She’s gone through the horrors that no child should ever be put through ( and yet she lived on ). So what can break her? 

Losing anyone in the family or, team 351. Especially if it is to Lucifer Tepes. She hates his guts but knows she’s  ‘ too weak ‘   to handle him on her own.  Canonically there is a moment where she actually does break a bit, as her foster father, uncle in technical terms, Clement Bogatir ( @brothersinthedetails ) takes a death blow from Lucifer while she was frozen in fright, unable to move. 

She still blames herself for the damage done within that fight and takes extra precautions, even sending some of her familiars to watch over her family members from time to time. 

2.    |   what was the best thing in your character’s life?

―【 canon. 】     honestly, her family. The ones that never turned their back on her, the ones that always told her that she was not her father, that she was better, that she wasn’t a monster. There are some days where she’ll come into the office and there will be post it note after post it note littering her desk from a certain uncle of hers giving her words of encouragement, while her brothers, Arthur ( @hoodedspark )  and Kenyon ( @dungeonsandmemes ) have their own ways of being there for her, even if not directly. 

Of course, there’s also Poe ( her familiar ) which in his own way, makes sure she knows that she’s loved especially with his cuteness and constant badgering of wanting to go to a new ‘ spooky ‘   location to eat some curses !!! 

3.    |   what was the worst thing in your character’s life?

―【 canon. 】     Vera has daddy issues. Quite literally. Lucifer Tepes ( the creator and cardinal of THE ORDER OF THE LUNAR FAMILY  ) didn’t allow her to have such things as a childhood, if anything, he used her as a tool for his depravity. Considering the power she has, he experimented on her to fit his forte, only to throw her away to the curb and sick the wendigos against her when she was no longer of use to him. This included ( but not limited to ) sexual, physical and mental abuse, breaking bones, isolation, sensory deprivation, starvation and dehydration. 

Most of these were to try and break her completely and make her just a husk yet, due to some interactions to the outside world, she was saved ( mostly ) from such a fate. Though, due to all of this, Vera has problems sleeping, and tends to go days, if not weeks without sleep. She can typically be seen with iced coffee on a regular basis as she will do anything to avoid sleep and tends to overwork herself so if she does fall asleep, she won’t dream. 

4.    |   what seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

―【 canon. 】     something small that was actually pretty large was the first time she had coffee. It was only a small cup at some cafe down the street of Clement’s home. He decided to get it for her since he needed a cup himself and she never forgot the sweet smell and taste of a pumpkin spice latte. 

5.    |   does your character work so they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working?

―【 canon. 】     Vera is .... strange in the fact that she likes her work ( as she is HEAD PSYCHOLOGIST for SPROUT, besides being one of the three enforcers on TEAM 351 ) but... it does do well to support her hobby of playing Dungeons and Dragons. She tends to like collecting little things ( which has quite the big price tag ) considering she has an entire room dedicated to it. So, one could almost say that it’s both ways. As she tends to distract herself within the made up worlds of others and it helps her get away from the dangerous thoughts of the world around her. 

6.    |   what is your character reluctant to tell people?

―【 canon. 】     she is a person of many secrets, but, the one thing she always fears people finding out about her is just how damaged she actually is. Perhaps it’s a pride thing, but there’s a reason why she wears long sleeves and covers herself nearly head to toe ( besides the fact that she’s a dhampire ) - as it would draw attention and most would assume they are self harm wounds but ... Well, she would rather not get into the conversation of who her father actually is. 

7.    |   how does your character feel about sex?

―【 canon. 】    while I wouldn’t say she’s sex repulsed, she doesn’t find it as attractive as others may. She may get pleasure from it, but, she thinks of it mostly as just a reproduction method, that is all. 

8.    |   how many friends does your character have?

―【 canon. 】     not many, being only a select few that she trusts completely to call ‘ friend ‘ - this is mostly people who have helped her get out of the darkest parts of her life, and some others. So, perhaps 10, perhaps 20 at the most. 

9.    |   how many friends does your character want?

―【 canon. 】     in truth, she is fine with what she has, a close knit circle is all she needs and cares about. She isn’t an egotistical maniac that wants everyone in the world to love her and worship her like some false god, no, she’d rather the close few who would put their life on the line for her as she would for them. 

10.    |   what would your character make a scene in public about?

―【 canon. 】     ... honestly, if she sees a child get talked to harshly, she will probably walk straight over to the parent and give them a piece of her mind. She really dislikes when parents are unforgivably harsh on children ( especially if they know no better ) as she grew up hearing nothing but how bad of a being she was, so, she will definitely make sure someone knows that she’s LIVID about badmouthing parents. 

11.    |   for what would your character give their life?

―【 canon. 】     a friend. A family member. A child. She sees her life as not important, considering it takes more than your typical gunshot to end her life. But she’d give up her life for the lives of others, because it’d mean she would at least go down a hero ( even if it means a foolish one ). 

12.    |   what are your character’s major flaws?

―【 canon. 】     she doesn’t understand that she worries others by overworking herself to the point that she does, that she kills herself daily just to see the concerned gazes that she shrugs off as ‘ pointless ‘. Vera grew up not knowing compassion and love, so she is cold at first, thinking that is how everyone reacts at first. She doesn’t even have a full grip on her abilities, due to the immense power of them. 

She has a lot of flaws, but she tries to be better. 

13.    |   what does your character pretend or try to care about?

―【 canon. 】     due to her work she tends to have coworkers that enjoy things like pink frilly dresses and the like. Of course, she doesn’t mind it ( for the first hour ) but when they start talking about it non stop she has to use every bit of patients just to keep herself sane. She is not a girly chick. She wears dresses but ... 

Well, Gothic Victorian is a lot more her style. 

14.    |   how does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?

―【 canon. 】     she tries to keep her outer appearance cold and collected, but she always seems to come off as an introverted librarian type. It’s quite interesting as she tends to be carrying a book around with her, most likely a novel that she can stick her nose into at any moment she’s waiting in a long line. This doesn’t help, nor does the fact that if someone gets even the tiniest fact wrong about horror fiction writers the inner bookworm will show with a shine in those red eyes not seen by many. 

15.    |   what is your character afraid of?

―【 canon. 】     becoming like her father akin to the curse of the Bogatir. She knows deep down that it won’t happen, as she was never the first born, but she still worries every night and day that he did something to her and that one day, she will no longer be herself and be the monster that he wanted her to be. 

[nicolepremier]

Flame Meme

<-- Previous

lastremainingalphaasked:

🔥 -slips a couple more under the table- 🔥🔥

nicolepremieranswered:

For every “🔥” My Muse gets, their body temperature and arousal level will rise. After x3, they will start to pleasure themselves, any way they can… Or ask another to help them…

Nano shivered, a wave of pleasurable heat traveling down his body. Of all the things the  researchers at ENED could have drugged him with… this… wasn’t so bad. It was actually starting to feel really good.

That was the only problem with it… it was starting to feel too good… In truth he didn’t mind it when the researchers here ran their usual array of tests on how the Nicole virus affected puberty, sexual functioning, and reproductive fitness. It wasn’t difficult or painful, unlike so many other things they did to him here. He simply felt… nothing. Sometimes they would put him in a room hooked up to machines monitoring his brain waves and vital signs. Often they would show him movies with men and women engaged in various sexual acts. Sometimes someone would touch him while he did this, other times they would tell him to touch himself. Blood collection, semen collection… Sometimes they would send in a female test subject into the observation room at the same time and tell them both to do the same things as the people in the videos were doing. But… this time he was alone. Why hadn’t they hooked him up to the machines yet? What did they want from him? Nano idly ran the backs of his fingers along the curve of his jaw. It was as though everywhere he touched summoned forth all of the blood in his body to dance beneath his fingertips. The sensation was growing stronger and it was… infectious…

“Premier should be feeling it about now. How long should we wait before proceeding once he’s out?”

“It depends. A normal person would be down in a minute, but you’d usually want to wait another minute before going in just to make sure. But Premier’s obviously still… what is he doing?”

Voices sounded from the speaker in the corner of the room. They forgot it was on, sometimes. But no one here ever really seemed to care whether or not Nano overheard them talking about him. At any rate, he could see them all watching him through the large glass window that separated the researchers from their subjects. A sea of faces, some familiar, others not…

Fingertips traced along his collarbone, slipping behind the crook of his neck. Where he was hardly mattered; he need only close his eyes and his mind would fly him anywhere he wished to go. The gentle caresses were no longer enough to satisfy him. He dug his nails into his own skin, craving stimulation. It still wasn’t enough. He needed more… so much more than this…

“It’s hardly unusual for Premier to react oddly to medications, but this doesn’t seem right… Can you check the label on that bottle again?” Emma’s voice. Calm. Collected. Confident. How his blood raced to hear it. Please, please keep talking… His eyes flashed, settling on her slim curves as she took the bottle from the man in the white coat. The way her fingers slid along its smooth cylindrical surface… He could feel a strange phantom sensation in his cock every time she touched that vial. How he wished that Emma would one day touch him like this, too. Nano wasn’t thinking now, hands moving of their own accord. His breathing was audible, his skin strangely warm to the touch… deft fingers slid up and behind his neck, quickly unlacing the ties to the white gown he was wearing. Crisp bleached fabric slid from his shoulders, falling about his waist and leaving his upper body completely bare.

“According to the label this looks like the right medication… unless… do you think there’s any chance you could have mixed them up, Arbitro?”

Next -->

[airoasis]

Riverdale's Black Hood On That Shocking Reveal, [SPOILER]'s Motivation, And KJ Apa's Hilarious ReactionTrendGlobe

Warning: Spoilers for “Chapter Thirty-Four: Judgment Night time” lie ahead, so if you happen to haven’t viewed the most modern episode of Riverdale, now’s a valid time to construct fancy Sublime and race far, far away.

I produce no longer want to express “I told you so,” but… I told you so. After that spurious-out within the midseason finale, the categorical Dim Hood modified into in a roundabout plan published within the dramatic penultimate episode of ‘s 2d season. That darkness that Betty has been lamenting since Season 1? Seems to be, she purchased it from her dear venerable dad, Hal Cooper, a.k.a The Dim Hood.

And valid fancy that Hal officially wins the title of “Worst Parent in Riverdale,” one plan or the opposite usurping the gradual Clifford Blossom — the one who shot his own son level-murky within the head — for the special distinction.

The CW

In the episode, Hal confessed to the Dim Hood’s frightful crimes, which encompass shooting his neighbor and friend Fred Andrews at Pop’s; strangling Ms. Grundy to loss of life together with her cello bow; shooting Moose while the teen modified into excessive on Jingle Jangle in Fox Wooded space; murdering the Candyman in his prison cell; striking his own daughter thru never-ending psychological torture; framing wretched Mr. Svenson for the murders; stabbing Midge Klump to loss of life at some level of opening night of Carrie: The Musical; and, in a roundabout plan, killing Doctor Masters on the scientific institution. (He did no longer, alternatively, shoot up Fred and Hermione’s debate, so there’s in truth a reproduction-cat killer on the loose in Riverdale.)

As for his motive, it be published that Hal modified into brainwashed from a younger age to abolish sinners, and Riverdale, he says, is a metropolis fat of them. Truly, Betty comes from a protracted line of murderers. Big-Grandpappy Cooper murdered his brother, Big-Grandpappy Blossom, and took on the Cooper identification within the aftermath. And Grandpappy Cooper modified into surely the one accountable for murdering the Conway family, and it modified into Hal who made obvious younger Joseph Conway (later is generally known as Mr. Svenson) accused an innocent man of the slayings. Hal describes his gruesome family historical previous as a darkness. “And now it lives in Betty,” he says ominously.

MTV Data chatted with the Dim Hood himself, actor Lochlyn Munro, about Hal’s descent into darkness, how the solid reacted to the massive cloak, and what this implies for Season three.

MTV Data: So Hal is now officially the worst guardian in Riverdale. How does it feel?

Lochlyn Munro: It feels unheard of! It feels fancy I valid won a Razzie. I am very mad.

MTV Data: When did you undercover agent out that Hal modified into the Dim Hood?

Munro: I learned out in Episode 21. I did no longer know that I modified into officially the Dim Hood unless the desk-learn, that scene after I am exhibiting the dwelling movie to Alice and Betty.

The CW

MTV Data: So you learned out with all americans else?

Munro: Yeah! It modified into more or much less cool. We in any respect times focus on this as actors on the expose, that we pick as much as participate as fans because of Roberto [Aguirre-Sacasa] and the writers again us guessing, too. They produce no longer location up storyboards for us for 22 episodes. We produce no longer grasp any belief the put the legend goes because it unfolds, so we expose all the pieces as we lumber, script by script. I had no belief! For my allotment, I in any respect times idea it modified into Sheriff Keller, and then all of unexpected I expose up on the Cooper put of living with a tiny blood stain on my shoulder and a few creepy home motion photos.

MTV Data: Who from the solid had the finest reaction to the massive cloak?

Munro: Potentially KJ. KJ in any respect times thinks all the pieces’s valid a large silly silly legend. I judge he even location free a large guffaw. He couldn’t trust that it modified into me, but I assume I presumably had the largest reaction because of I modified into basically the most tormented by it. To tell you the fact, after I first learn it, I modified into surely somewhat bummed because of I idea, “Oh man. I produce no longer even feel fancy I’ve gotten going on the expose, and now I am accomplished.” You know? On myth of I in truth idea I modified into accomplished. But Roberto came up and we talked afterwards, and he modified into fancy, “It is never any longer over for Hal. It’s valid a full novel arc for him.” So now I am embracing seeing what they can bring to it because of now I think fancy I’ve purchased a character to play.

MTV Data: It feels fancy the starting put of Hal’s storyline, no longer the cease.

Munro: Exactly. There would possibly perchance be somewhat just a few characters in our expose, and it be onerous for the writers to jot down for all americans, so I fully understood why my character wasn’t in any respect times flushed out, why there wasn’t somewhat just a few dimension for him. I judge this shall be surely no longer easy, and it be one thing I am having a undercover agent ahead to. I can’t wait to survey what they give you.

MTV Data: But it absolutely’s natural to feel bummed which means expose does grasp a notice sage with killing of us off, particularly villains.

Munro: I felt that manner for Barclay [Hope], too, when Clifford hung himself on the cease of the first season because of it be somewhat just a few fun to work on that expose. I valid felt that per chance within the 1/three season Hal would possibly perchance well pick up a tiny bit more to enact so that americans can understand who he is. Then after I learn [episode] 21, I valid felt fancy my lumber modified into over earlier than I had even gotten a likelihood to originate. But then Roberto and I talked, and now I am surely embracing being a serial killer. I under no conditions idea I would express that.

The CW

MTV Data: Did you ever put on the veil? On myth of obviously that is never any longer you in Pop’s diner within the Season 1 finale.

Munro: No. On no myth. Attributable to this I under no conditions idea I modified into the Dim Hood. I had my inkling, primarily based on who they employed to be the Dim Hood at some level of these scenes and his physicality. If I stood next to the Dim Hood, he modified into about four inches shorter than me.

MTV Data: What did you suspect of his motivation? On myth of he tells Betty and Alice that he desires to rid the metropolis of sin, but it be easy somewhat imprecise. And then there’s the fact that he mentally tortured Betty for whole episodes!

Munro: I grasp to get that more. I under no conditions performed Hal as the Dim Hood, so for Episode 21 I had to rapidly give you a backstory so as to pick out up contained within the thoughts of somebody who would enact that. So I in truth produce no longer know. That goes to be a onerous one for me because of I in any respect times performed him fancy he loved his youth loads, but he valid went about issues the nasty manner. So his mind will grasp to be very messed up and scrambled from all of that manipulation as a younger boy. Whoever raised him, whether it modified into valid his mom or it modified into a community of of us that raised him to evaluate he needed to purge the metropolis of sin, I grasp yet to get that out. That will doubtless be one thing we stumble on within the 1/three season, I assume.

MTV Data: The finest villains are the ones who trust that they’re the heroes, and besides you would per chance construct a case for Hal believing that he modified into the hero of his own legend, saving the metropolis from sin.

Munro: It can were more animated to per chance be more of a vigilante serial killer. I produce no longer judge purging the metropolis of sin implies that it be vital to exit and abolish a girl in a university play valid because of she does Jingle Jangle.

MTV Data: Or shoot Fred Andrews, your neighbor.

Munro: Factual? It’s animated to me to contemplate how Hal created Hal Cooper. He obviously created that character to pick out up thru his life, and to evaluate that Alice did no longer know and all of these of us that had been shut to him had no belief. It’s unheard of.

MTV Data: I am surely mad to survey what occurs to the Cooper family from right here due to expose has slowly chipped away at their image-supreme facade. First Polly left, then Sublime modified into out to be an imposter, and now Hal is the Dim Hood. I am strange to survey Alice and Betty work thru all of these demons.

Munro: This is doubtless to be animated to survey what they enact with Hal and Betty’s relationship. I in any respect times idea that there modified into this form of tight bond with them that it would possibly perchance well shield loads to break that. Yeah. right here’s loads, but I am questioning if Betty will feel compelled to abet her dad because of it modified into under no conditions Hal’s fault anyways — if his name is Hal. He modified into brainwashed as a child. I think sorry for the man to tell you the fact. So now we grasp to resolve out if he can even be redeemed and what made him tick. Is he the completely man that modified into on this scenario? Became as soon as he the completely one taught to purge the metropolis of sin? I produce no longer know.

MTV Data: I am obvious Betty will resolve it out.

Munro: If anybody can, it be her.

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Ask D'Mine: Shooting Blanks and the (Sugary) Hair of the Dog

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/ask-dmine-shooting-blanks-and-the-sugary-hair-of-the-dog/

Ask D'Mine: Shooting Blanks and the (Sugary) Hair of the Dog

A note from our veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois: Today's post is Rated PG-13. Actually, the weekend edition of Ask D'Mine is always Rated PG-13, and I don't think today's post is any further across the Rubicon than we usually go. But people get funny talking about reproductive issues, so forewarned is forearmed: Today we gotta talk about male "thingies" to answer a reader's question. Read on at your own risk!

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Howard, type 1 from Ohio, writes: Is there any truth to the fact that there's some sort of neuropathy that can cause a guy to... How do I say this? Shoot blanks (if you know what I mean)?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Neuropathy is an equal-opportunity destroyer of nerve cells, and you'd be surprised at all the obtuse parts of your body that need happily functioning nerves to work as designed. When it comes to neuropathy most people only think of their feet, but there are a host of neuropathies that can affect body systems as diverse and wide ranging as your optic nerve, your intestines, your sweat glands, your lungs, your heart, and more. In fact, depressingly, neuropathies can affect literally every organ system in your body.

So it should come as no surprise that neuropathy can also effect your bladder. And that gets to the root of your question, Howard. Firing blanks is medically known as retrograde ejaculation, and understanding it requires a brief discussion of how the male plumbing is designed, and how a male orgasm works. (Ah. Thus our reminder above to read my column to yourself before reading it out-loud to your kids.)

Let's talk male orgasms first. Most men would agree that this is a good way to start the day. The end by-product of a male orgasm, biologically, is semen. Semen has sperm in it, but it's quite a bit more than just sperm.

Now sperm is made in the testicles, but semen is not. Ha! I bet even most of you guys didn't know that. Yep, all that comes from the family jewels are those squiggly cells. They get shuttled up a delivery tube called the vas deferens, kinda like those pneumatic tubes at the drive-through bank. The tube goes up and around the top of the bladder and back down to the base, where it and hooks into the seminal vesicle, which is basically part of the prostate gland. Here the spermies get mixed with fluids from both glands to make semen. If you want to get all medical about it, the process is called spermatogenesis.

Trivia tip: the white stuff in ejaculate is largely sperm food, and includes fructose!

Once the sperm cells (180 million potential babies in a typical ejaculation) are mixed in with the seminal fluids in the vicinity of the prostrate, they are shot up the urethra to their ultimate destination.

Uh... Wait a minute. Isn't that the same tube guys pee through? Yes. Hasn't it ever occurred to you to wonder why a guy doesn't pee when he cums? It's the same pipe after all. The urethra is the only tube in the penis.

May I introduce you to the bladder sphincter? It's a muscle group used to close off the bladder-end of the urethra. It holds urine in the bladder when you're not peeing, and also keeps the door to the bladder closed when a man is having an ejaculation.

Unless neuropathy is effecting it, keeping it from closing properly. Then, thanks to fluid dynamics, the semen takes the path of least resistance. If the bladder sphincter is open, the ejaculation takes a wrong turn after leaving the prostrate and goes up and into the bladder rather than up the penis and out of the body. So there you have it. High blood sugar can quite literally cause you to screw yourself instead of your partner.

Actually, the whole thing isn't as bad as it sounds. The poor guy still has an orgasm, and still feels like he had one, but nothing comes out. For this reason, retrograde ejaculation is sometimes called dry orgasm. It's actually quite harmless except perhaps to your ego, your career as a male porn star, or to family planning—as it's a cause of male infertility. Oh, and the semen gets mixed in with the contents of the bladder and gets peed out later as cloudy urine.

(Can you believe that I actually get paid to talk about male orgasm before breakfast??)

Because of its biologically harmless nature, retrograde ejaculation is generally left untreated unless a couple wants kids. At that point the first option is to take some drugs before sex to try to tighten up the bladder sphincter. There are three broad categories, and interestingly, they fall into the families of tricyclic antidepressants, antihistamines, and decongestants. Surgery is sometimes, but rarely, done to try and fix the problem, while artificial insemination of one sort or another is generally considered the best workaround when meds fail to fix the problem.

So there you have it. Strange but true. Diabetes (uncontrolled) can cause a guy to shoot blanks.

Veronica, pre-diabetic from Hawaii, asks: If I eat any type of starch my blood sugar rises, but if I eat things with sugar in them it doesn't, in fact my blood sugar goes down. Is that normal?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: In my deepest heart of hearts I believe there's nothing "normal" about diabetes. But, seriously, here's what I've observed about food and blood sugar. Mind you, this isn't some clinically validated study from the Ivory Tower folks, but in my six years of working with around 300 people with pre-diabetes and diabetes, I've noticed that most of us can "handle" three of the following five groups of "white" foods:

Non-liquid sugar (candy bars, doughnuts, etc)

Potatoes (including fries, chips, and baked)

Rice (including chips and flour)

Flour (including pasta, damn it!)

And corn (including fresh, tortillas, and chips)

Don't ask me why this is. I don't know, and I don't even have a theory. Some people can eat a plate of spaghetti just fine, but a baked potato will knock them on their asses. For someone else, the potato causes no problem but walking past an Italian restaurant will spike their blood sugar. Even very small quantities of these personalized "bad" foods will send someone sensitive to them sky-high. Myself, I seem to be overly sensitive to flour. One single frickin' Zesta cracker can send me to 350 mg/dL, even with the proper insulin dosed for it.

So I've seen for myself that different broad categories of food effect different PWDs differently -- generally either having major upwards effects, or very little effect at all on blood sugar. But lowering your blood sugar by eating sugar?

That's a bit different.

Are you a skinny pre-diabetic, perchance? The reason I ask is that in skinny people who don't generally eat a lot of sugar, we sometimes see an over-production of insulin in response to a sugar load. I can recall two cases off the top of my head. In one case a girl who had an oral glucose tolerance test passed out from a low about an hour later. Her body over-pumped her full on insulin in response to the flood of sugar we poured down her gullet.

Oops.

In the other case, a guy went to an all-you-can-eat waffle breakfast with his new girlfriend, pigged-out and also consumed quite a bit of maple syrup, and went hypo. Just the opposite of what you'd expect, or what he deserved.

Neither person took any diabetes meds. It was just a case of their bodies over-reacting. Kinda uncommon, but it happens. So I'm thinking that might be the case with you and sugar. Your body freaks out when you eat sugar, squirts out more insulin than it can normally muster, and Presto, Change-O! Your blood sugar drops.

But, normal? No. That makes you a very abnormal kind of person with diabetes—one who can treat her high blood sugar by eating sugar. So for you, it might be like taking a nip of the hair of the dog that bit you.

You lucky dog, you.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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