#restraint screaming insults and breaking things and then i have to live with the aftermath' stress dream

[hell-heron]

I don't think I've had a single night I didn't have a dream about being at the summer camp and generally fucking up some aspect of the organisative machine since I left it

[my-writings-and-musings]

Can I please have a short story of the prompt of the human reader being used as a sheild, and the human has a communicator allowing the bots to trace their signal? And can I please have ratchet, tailgate, cyclones, and drift for this?

I have headcannons for now because I'm spread really thin lately, but I hope you like it! Also I love this prompt in particular because every bot on the ship needs to be told how special and wonderful they are, and what better way to show them than by shouting their praises at an enemy with ample swearing?

Part One: Here!

Part Two: You're Here!

Ratchet

·Your relationship to the medic had allowed some of the restraint he needed for his high stress job to rub off on you, but that's also true of his testiness, so when you reach your breaking point it's quite the sight. The bot that kidnapped you for a ransom learns the loud way just how passionately you adore your grumpy bot when they crack another joke about Ratchet's age and you simply lose it. Held back by your chains, you crack that the bot who kidnapped you couldn't accomplish what Ratchet has if they had a billion years to do so, and what right do they have to insult when they look the way they do? "Call him old all you want, he looks better now than you ever have and ever will!"

·Perhaps it's the fact that the tiny human just insulted their appearance of all things, but the bot is frozen at the communicator, and somehow that makes you angrier. It's clearer to you now than ever before why Ratchet hurls wrenches at the bots that annoy him; nothing would be more satisfying than the "thunk" of a well aimed projectile at this jerk's head. As it stands you're willing to settle for using your words as the only weapons you have. Laughing bitterly, you ask your captor if they're only able to win an argument with bots that can't fight back, which would explain why they need you as a shield AND the corpses they keep as company. The last dig actually gets them moving towards you with a threat, but when they refer to Ratchet as your "rusty old paramour" you get a renewed burst of rage and go off once more.

·"Are you seriously trying to insult Ratchet of all bots?! Do you have any idea what he's capable of?! How many lives he's saved?! What have you accomplished lately, huh?! Besides EXTORTION?!" Feeling a tad bit flushed, it's impossible not to go all out in your tirade, especially because it feels so darn good after suffering in silence for so long. It doesn't hurt that you have so much material to work with either. This raging jerk is living in a corpse filled lair and kidnapping humans to ransom them off for cash, and they're going after one of the greatest medics the Autobots ever had? Cutting them down to size should be classified as doing the universe a favor! If you weren't so incredibly frustrated, and dangling from chains, you might have found this enjoyable.

·"Seriously! Ratchet does more good for the universe in a week than you could do in a lifetime! Plus, you think age is holding him back?! The bot walks right off the battlefield after carving up bad guys like you, only to waltz into the medibay to patch up everyone else, on a daily basis!" Though not impressed, it does appear that your captor is rethinking some things, and perhaps actually realizing they've made a pretty formidable enemy. Had that not been such a flagrantly obvious fact you'd have been satisfied. Instead you just keep going, your intense love for your docbot mingling with your frustration to pour forth in a never-ending stream of loving threats. Only a total power outage cuts off a tangent about how Ratchet's age has not impacted his ability or endurance in "other areas" of your relationship either...

·The darkness is broken by flashing lights and the crackle of energy weapons firing all around, and you just manage to catch some familiar colors flashing through the dark before a very welcome red and white frame swoops in to carefully slice you out of the chains with a laser scalpel. There's just enough time to catch a smile overflowing with emotion before you're taken into gentle hands, and as Ratchet takes you back to the ship you get a glimpse of your very roughed up kidnapper being cuffed by the remaining crew. Your partner takes you straight to the medical bay, fussing over you all the way and asking a thousand questions about your wellbeing, but without any of his usual gruffness as he does so. In fact, he's probably the softest you've ever seen him. The smile never once leaves his face as he insists on getting you fed and rested and to bed where he pulls the covers over you himself.

·In the aftermath he almost seems to melt in your presence, losing most of his grumpy persona every time he's with you no matter how long or difficult a day he's had. Though you obviously don't mind, a couple bots let you know that when you were kidnapped he was the closest to losing control anyone had ever seen him. He'd been shouting and cursing until you had interrupted the latest communication with your captor, at which point he'd been so shocked others had needed to rush in and take advantage of the prolonged signal. Evidently, hearing you defend him as you did had rocked his world in the best possible way. Between working a stressful and often thankless profession, and not ever hearing you shout in such a way before, he's been touched to learn he could be loved by someone who appreciates him as you do. It's enough to keep even the worst of grumpy days from affecting him.

Tailgate

·Truth be told, your greatest concern when you were kidnapped was for your tiny SO, as his propensity for panic could result in some very unpleasant anxiety attacks while he and the others try to rescue you. That worry on his behalf turned to fury when your kidnapper refused to stop mocking the little bot for everything from his size to his age and even for supposedly choosing an organic solely to be taller than someone. It's enough to make you see red, and your limit is quickly reached as a result of the cowardly bullying. Your explosive bout of rage is a scream of frustration that quickly morphs into an unstoppable tirade that pulls no punches. Has this big jerk been planning this for any length of time you ask, because if so, you know a couple of sparklings that could think of more mature insults!

·"Really?! You make fun of bots for being short?! He's also blue, you want to pick on him for something arbitrary, why limit yourself?!" You know it's not the smoothest insult, but darn it all, you can't bring yourself to think straight with all this rage. This bot needs to hear what an absolute creep and bully they are, because seriously who gloats like a real life cartoon villain? When they leave the communicator and try to get in your face you're only further incensed, channeling your tiny partner's courage as you wish beyond the telling of it you could punch the jerk into silence. "If there's gonna be insults, how about I open the floor to some genuine digs? Because your ugly mug is a GOLDMINE of material, okay?! Seriously, does Unicron ask YOU for beauty tips?!"

·There's sputtering in response, which you just take as a go ahead to tear them apart, because at this point you're not sure if you can really stop. After all, record shattering hideous face aside, what does this bot actually have to offer? Tailgate has saved millions! Faced with multiple varieties of death, he took out the guy hellbent on committing species wide genocide, and he doesn't even brag about it! You rub that in your captors face with all the pride you have for your partner spurring you on, hoping that you get a chance to tell Tailgate what a source of inspiration he was in these moments. At the very least you'll have to tell him how your captor froze at the enraged shouting. "Plus, Tailgate has actual friends! People LIKE him, unlike you, who I'm guessing doesn't entertain often based on the corpses you leave lying around!"

·A last ditch attempt to shut you up with a few lame threats just gets you laughing, in part because you can't believe this bot ever thought they were going to succeed at this. "You didn't even bother to check up on who you're making an enemy of, did you? I doubt it, because if you did, you'd know Tailgate has made paperweights out of bots much tougher than you!" Perhaps it's a little macabre, but it's endlessly satisfying to see your captor flinch as you describe what an absolute powerhouse your partner is, particularly how he uses his small size to levy his strength in the most destructive ways possible. It's delightful enough that, as you begin to brag about the benefits of his size relative to yours and his strength working together in more intimate settings, only something like an earthquake stops you.

·Chained as you are, there's no way to get a clear look at your captor as they attempt to flee, but thankfully the ground stills just in time to let you see the cavalry arrive. Lost Light bots pour in to stop the automated defenses from doing much at all, and in a brilliant blue and white blur your kidnapper is punched full to unconsciousness by what might as well have been a meteorite. It's only when said force of nature runs to free you and a tearful blue visor meets your eyes that you recognize Tailgate. The minibot gets you down in a hurry and embraces you in as tight a hug as is safe, talking a mile a minute about his worries and how sorry he is you had to go through all this. After assuring him he doesn't have to beat up your captor any further, you let him carry you back to the ship, getting nuzzled all the while.

·In between far more frequent cuddle sessions from the absolutely enamored Tailgate, you get pulled aside by a couple bots who just want to let you know what an impact your brave speech had on the minibot. While inconsolable during your kidnapping, to the point of swapping between rage and tears every few minutes, he'd been visibly awed once he heard you go off in his defense. That makes you understand everything far more clearly; this bot has been unsure of his self worth for so long, so hearing you face down a much larger foe because you love him so much that their taunting him drove you to frenzy... Knowing he's loved like that changed his entire worldview. You can see it in his visor every time he looks at you, and feel it in every buzzing hug, how grateful he is to have found someone who loves him.

Cyclonus

·Dating a bot capable of triggering enemy surrender with a glance requires a strong will, mostly to endure the endless questions from bots confused as to how you got Cyclonus to ask you out, but today you find yourself facing a whole new level of irritation. Though the bot that kidnapped you is obviously no match for your towering partner, they still mock the big mech through radio like they're some kind of badass, taunting him for debasing himself and growing soft by dating a fleshy. Regardless of how hard Cyclonus has worked to open up to you, hearing the personal jabs makes something within snap and go nuclear, resulting in a war cry your partner would be proud of as you rattle your chains for emphasis.

·"Can you just CAN IT with the insults?! We all know that if this fleshy wasn't here as your shield, you'd be fleeing to the other end of the galaxy!" You waste no time getting right to the heart of what's so infuriating about your captor; their spineless and cowardly nature is so obvious beneath the sneering mockery it makes you literally sick. Seeing how completely they freeze at your jab just proves your point in your mind. What, were they just expecting you to be quiet forever after dealing with THEM for the past few hours? Was the idea of resistance that surprising to them?! The calm maturity you picked up from Cyclonus is matched only by the capacity for righteous fury learned from the same source, and it's the latter that breaks out in glorious fashion.

·"Oh, what, nothing to say? No moronic insults for someone who can actually talk back? Do you need your debate opponents to be silent so you can think of a rebuttal?!" Your almost sarcastic jab actually earns you a demand to be silent, but it's so lacking in authority you can only laugh, despite not feeling any less furious with the situation. It's bad enough to be kidnapped and chained up, but by someone this incompetent? Being a tiny fraction of their size doesn't make you feel any less embarrassed for having been caught by them. It's enough frustration to make you snap again when they start coming in close, especially as another insult is levied at Cyclonus for having chosen a human so unpleasant due to his age and miserable attitude. The words are little more than kerosene on your already burning anger.

·"Do you really think you get to accuse Cyclonus of having a miserable attitude, you inept excuse for a kidnapper?! I'd rather have a conversation with these corpses than you! Not to mention, Cyclonus isn't limited to insulting people whenever he talks, unlike you!" The tirade is perhaps nonsensical with how passionately you begin to praise your partner's command of verse, but you're far too lost in your genuine adoration to care, especially as you begin to relay how wonderfully enticing his singing is to you. Every time your captor tries to command silence you just jump to yet another feature that makes your heart flutter, riding on the high of how incredibly good it feels to rub it all in their flustered face as you go. An attempt at describing his passionate grasp of verse around specific topics is stopped only by a door flying off its hinges in a burst of shattered metal.

·Security forces do nothing as a hulking purple figure enters through the smoke of considerable destruction, and your captor is left paralyzed with fear as they're hefted up by a clawed hand, one you're so relieved to see you can't help calling out their name. Cyclonus is content to toss the criminal to the rest of the crew as they arrive, and actually smiles once he beholds you safe. Freeing you of your bonds, he doesn't drop the chains until they're wrapped about your captor for some poetic justice. After that, you're carried to the nearest private spot on the ship and embraced without hesitation, the giant arms that have held you before almost shaking as he whispers how grateful he is to have you back. For an instant he sheds genuine tears when you hug him in return.

·Though the intensity of his emotions isn't as extreme as when he rescued you going forward, the big bot is far more open about his feelings than ever before, even showing them in full view of others. Surprised but not at all displeased, you are however quite thrown for a loop when someone recounts how incredibly worried he was during your kidnapping, in that he had to be convinced not to go after you alone and gouged some unfortunate furniture as he listened to the communications. Yet the moment you started your tirade, he was shocked to a whole new kind of silence. It's obvious that he hadn't even been able to process it at first, but now is fully overwhelmed and grateful for your love as he never was before. Hearing himself defended by someone he adores more than anything changed his perspective of himself, as well as his outlook on life, for how could he not see the beauty of a universe that had given him you?

Drift

·Sort of an interstellar hippy in his own way, Drift has taught you a lot about remaining calm through meditation, saying that a clear mind and control over anger is key to surviving high stress situations. The same philosophy is what he instructed you to use when others mocked his past, as he claims to be used to it and doesn't want anyone angering you on his behalf. This doesn't stop you from simmering in your current situation, dangling from chains as you might be, and admittedly being kidnapped tends to shorten one's fuse. Perhaps that's why you explode so dramatically when your abductor opens up the communication line just to mock your partner by claiming he hardly should be upset by an organic dying, considering his past, and that this current "relationship" is probably just a redemption stunt. That final mistake sets you off on a legendary tirade.

·"Are you KIDDING me?! You want to talk about STUNTS you wannabe kidnapping loser?! Do you have a projection disorder or something?! Because unlike you, Drift doesn't actually have to PROVE anything!" Never in your life have you wished to be the same height as the bots to this degree, granted though it's only because you want to strangle this jerk purely for the satisfaction of throttling them. Drift has worked to be better, and jabs about his past hurt him deeply, despite what he says. What right does this loser have to use that against him? You're so worked up fear isn't in your catalog of emotions when your captor tries to threaten you with physical harm. All you see is an overhyped grifter who got lucky, and you make that abundantly clear.

·"What, are you going to try threatening me, really? Am I supposed to be afraid of bluster now?!" The sight of a tiny organic growing red in the face with rage actually seems to give the bad bot pause, in part because you're so flushed they have to wonder if humans have a secret explosive ability that you're presently charging up. Admittedly you do feel like you might pop, but that's only because it's impossible to unleash all of your anger in a way that's truly satisfying, and you're left with spouting all the very justified insults that spring to mind. One particular thing that galvanizes your anger; how is this jerk pretending they would stand a chance against Drift?! The bot may be a literal ray of sunshine to you, but you're well aware of what he can do to enemies, and you doubt your kidnapper is in the dark about your paramour's combat prowess.

·"Would you be playing the big tough bot if he were anywhere near here?! Or if you didn't have me as a shield?! Because I doubt you'd last a moment in a one on one!" You shout, your tone of vitriol somewhat humorous considering that the point is a very valid one. While not afraid of Drift in the slightest, you know being on his bad side can be fatal in impressively short order. Perhaps that's why his soft approach to your relationship is even better. It's so special to you that in your current state you can't help but brag aggressively, going on about what a wonderful bot he is and that this loser could never hope to best him in combat or personality. Seeing them rethink it all just adds fuel to your fire, but before you can really get going on how Drift's gentle mannerisms extend to the bedroom you're interrupted by a cacophony of unfathomable origin.

·One of the entrances to the room you're in is sliced open by what you swear has to be ten swords at once, but as soon as it's down and the wielder charges in, you see only two held by a very angry looking Drift. Though accompanied by ample backup, he's an army of one as he reduces the security to pieces and almost dices up your captor. Only some obviously difficult self control lets him immobilize the bot instead. Not wasting time, your partner leaves the bad guy for the others to hurry to your side, his expression beaming with unmatched happiness and relief as he cuts you free and catches you in cupped hands. Shameless kisses and a million questions about whether or not you're hurt are your prelude to an open embrace. Never minding public affection in the past, he's still at a new level all the way back to the ship and in the days that follow.

·It's impossible not to go an hour without a loving nuzzle against your forehead, and whenever you aren't looking Drift is in the corner of your eye with an absolutely lovestruck expression on his sweet face, to the point you halfway imagine there could be hearts in his optics. Rodimus himself tells you in confidence that the unshakable ninjabot was barely able to keep himself steady after your kidnapping, obviously holding back a hurricane of pain and grief within his spark, but that changed in a flash as soon as he heard you. Accustomed to being derided, he'd been unprepared for such a passionate defense from anyone. Hearing you shout his praises had nearly driven him to tears. The pain of his past and the exclusion he faces for it has worn him down, to the point he often believes himself to be irredeemable, but you've made him have hope for himself for the first time in eons. Your love makes him see what he's done right, and from now on, he fully intends to give you and himself more to be proud of every day.

Support me here if you like my writing! Every donation helps me secure more time to create, and the same goes for commissions, which are always available!

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

Ghost

Pairings: Daniel Sousa x Reader, Stucky

Summary: Y/N has had plenty of struggles in her life, from getting experimented on by Hydra to overcoming adversity in her male-dominated workplace. She assumes falling in love with her boss is just another complication in her series of misfortunes, but maybe it’s not as complicated as she thinks. 

Word Count: 6.4K

Warnings: mentions of experimentation/torture, mentions of war, mentions of societal homophobia, some swearing (steve drops a couple f bombs), potential spoilers for Agents of SHIELD 7x03 and 7x04 (i drew from the events but none of the AoS characters are in this fic)

a/n: This is technically a spinoff from Not So Bad and Out of Time - the reader has the same abilities but is just born in the same time period as Sousa and the rest rather than being stranded in the time period. However, this can be read as a stand-alone fic. See the end for additional notes!

___

It had been a few days since the base you had been held at had been filled with prisoners of war. You thought you’d heard one of them say they were from the 107th but that didn’t really mean much to you. Had they arrived months ago you might’ve found it a comfort to hear native English speakers and American accents, but now you only felt sad for their futures. Surely they’d only end up like you, or worse, like the ones who failed the experiments. 

You weren’t sure how long you’d been Hydra’s prisoner or how long you’d been the sole survivor, only that now you weren’t the only living experiment. A soldier, you didn’t know his name, had been strapped to a table nearby just hours after the prisoners arrived. You didn’t know what they had been injecting him with, only that he seemed to scream less than you had in your early days. But there must’ve been something special about him because only days later Captain America burst through the doors of the lab to rescue him. 

“I thought you were dead,” the superhero breathed out, gently stroking the side of the soldier’s face. 

“I thought you were smaller?” The soldier said, confused and delirious, likely a side effect of whatever drugs Hydra had been injecting him with. 

“C’mon, Bucky, I’m going to get you out of here.” Captain America promised the soldier, who was apparently named Bucky, as he tore his restraints and lifted him off the metal table. 

“Wait… Steve,” you heard Bucky gasp and he must’ve been pointing to you because seconds later Captain America was standing over you and tearing your restraints off as well. 

“Do you speak English?” He asked as you rubbed your wrists, free of any restraints for the first time in months. 

You nodded, unable to come up with a verbal response. You hadn’t spoken in months. Hydra never asked you questions and eventually, you had learned to hold in your screams of agony at each new round of experimentation. 

You followed the superhero and Bucky through the building, looking for a way out before the whole base exploded. You were following Bucky across a precariously hung beam when it fell, dropping you into the flames below. Except you never reached them, because somehow, someway, you were flying. You watched as Captain America jumped across the gap and he and Bucky shared a pained look at the gorge before he was urging them on. 

“We have to keep moving,” He said, voice breaking with what sounded to you like loss, but you didn’t understand what he had lost. 

You followed the pair out before the building exploded, staying close behind them through the chaos of the aftermath. The walk back to their base was even worse. It was long and grueling and you were exhausted and alone as none of the soldiers knew who you were. At one point Captain America began to cry. 

“Steve, Steve,” Bucky tried to reassure him, “It wasn’t your fault. There wasn’t anything you could do to help her.” 

You were puzzled. They hadn’t lost anyone since Captain America had found her and Bucky. It almost sounded like they were talking about here, but that was ridiculous, you’d been right behind them the whole time. 

You looked down at your feet in confusion which was when you realized, you didn’t have any feet. You didn’t have a body. You held back a scream at the realization and you began to panic, am I dead?

“What the hell was that?” Bucky gasped, clutching his ears at the high-pitched noise that had pierced the forest they were walking through. Evidently, you hadn’t held back that scream.

That was good news though, right? You thought if Bucky could hear you scream then that must mean you weren’t dead. 

It didn’t take them long to find you, though it took much longer for them to see you. Almost immediately after your scream alerted them of your presence Captain America walked right into you. It took a bit longer for you to convince them that you weren’t a threat, in fact, it took much longer than the trip back to their camp to do that. For the time being, however, they made sure you were in physical contact with someone in the group at all times (one of the soldiers had suggested they use some rope to attach one of your wrists to one of them or one of their packs but you had freaked out at the thought of being restrained again). You stuck to Captain America, who’s real name you learned was Steve, and Bucky for the majority of the walk, though you couldn’t help but feel like you were in the middle of something. 

The atmosphere surrounding you became more hostile when you arrived at their camp. Colonel Phillips was not thrilled to have an invisible Hydra experiment lose on his base. Fortunately, albeit somewhat surprising, Bucky vouched for you and while Phillips was convinced that you could be an asset, you were still not trusted and deemed Bucky’s responsibility. It was a bit insulting, you were a grown woman after all, but you appreciated having someone to turn to. You’d been removed from the world for a while now and quite frankly had no idea what was going on with your body at this point. 

Things had become even more confusing when you returned to visibility a few days after reaching the camp. Phillips was glad that he didn’t have to worry about invisible Nazis anymore (though he still thought you might be a Nazi) and you thought Bucky was glad he didn’t have to babysit you as closely anymore. When your visibility returned you were immediately taken under the wings of Agent Peggy Carter and Howard Stark, who were apparently the resident “superhero experts” in Stark’s words. Agent Carter began training you in hand-to-hand combat immediately and enlisted some of the Howling Commandos to assist you with weapons training. Howard began a series of tests in hopes of understanding exactly what Hydra had done to you. 

His results weren’t perfectly conclusive and you didn’t really understand most of his science-talk, but apparently, Hydra had managed to alter your body chemistry, allowing your cells to become completely undetectable by light and had somehow managed to change the way gravity affected your body, which is why you had been able to fly and become invisible. Once Howard’s tests had yielded this information, you began additional training to attempt to learn to control your new powers. 

It was grueling and difficult, but after a few months, you finally felt like you had control over your new abilities, and with your loyalties to the Allies seemingly proven, Colonel Phillips seemed willing to send you out on assignment. 

“Hey, Ghost!” Morita called out as you exited the building where Peggy had been conducting your training. “Let’s go!”

Sometime after your return to base, Dum Dum Dugan had made a comment about how you were “like a ghost” with your invisibility and flying and the nickname had stuck, with the Howling Commandos all using it to refer to you. 

“Go where?” 

“Howlies briefing in five, we gotta go,” he said urgently, waving you along. 

“C’mon, Jimmy, you know I’m not actually a Howling Commando,” you sighed, annoyed. You were exhausted and sweaty from your training and all you wanted was to hit the showers and get some dinner. 

“Well I think you’re about to become one, Phillips cleared you for combat and Rogers requested your presence.” 

“Wait, seriously?” You couldn’t believe your ears. The Howling Commandos specialized in taking out Hydra, something you were eager to help with given everything they had done to you.

“Yes, seriously,” Morita sighed exasperatedly, “Now get a move on or we’ll be late!” 

You did become an official member of the Howling Commandos that day, though the team had treated you like one of their own from the moment they had formed. Your first mission with the unit was to infiltrate a train and capture Dr. Arnim Zola, the man responsible for your experimentation. Though, much to your disappointment, your job wasn’t to capture the doctor but to distract the guards long enough for Gabe Jones to do the job. The assignment seemed simple enough, and you were grateful for the Howlies’ confidence in theirs and your abilities.  

When you returned to your bunk after your shower you were greeted by Peggy and Howard, both of whom were sporting wide grins. You eyed them warily, never quite sure what the pair had up their sleeves but this time it turned out to be something good. 

“We thought you might need this for your assignment tomorrow,” Peggy said in her clipped accent, handing over a stack of fabric. 

You unfolded it to find a combat suit. It was made of a similar material to Captain America’s, but rather than the signature red, white, and blue, yours was mostly grey and black (Peggy explained that they wanted it to be white but thought it would dirty too easily) with the yellow winged insignia of the Howling Commandos on the shoulder. It was perfect and you told them such, which only made their smiles grow impossibly wider. Then, Peggy handed you one more gift: a dress that she insisted you change into immediately as you were going out tonight to celebrate. You spent the night drinking, laughing, and dancing with Peggy, Howard, and the Howlies.

The mission the next day was a success. You, Steve, and Bucky had managed to take out the guards with ease, though you had almost lost Bucky. A blast from one of the Hydra agents had blown open the side of the train and Bucky had almost fallen out of it as Steve took out the final agent. Fortunately, before Bucky’s grip even began to slip you were there, holding him up just enough for Steve to grasp his hand and pull him back onto the train, you flying in shortly after. It was your first of many successful missions with the Howlies. 

A few months later you almost lost Steve. The Howlies had been joined by the US Army for what they had hoped would be their last mission against Hydra- an attack on Schmidt’s final hideout in the Alps.  They managed to infiltrate and capture the base with relative ease but Schmidt was able to escape on a plane with Captain America in tow. You stood beside Peggy in the base’s command center as she spoke to Steve who had now gained control of the aircraft. 

“I have to put her in the water,” Steve said, his voice echoing into the sudden silence of the room, “I don’t know how to override the coordinates.” 

“Would you like to learn how?” Howard asked into the speaker. 

With Howard’s help, Steve was able to reroute the plane, landing back safely in the Alps where he was greeted by a bone-crushing hug from Bucky and the rest of the Howlies. 

___

After the war, you, Steve, and Bucky returned to the States while the rest of the Howlies remained in Europe as a tactical unit for the 107th. Though you were stateside, the three of you had made it clear that you weren’t severing ties with the Howlies and would be in Europe as quickly as possible whenever you were needed. 

Upon your return to the US, Howard made sure to set you up with adequate housing, a small (by Howard’s standards) townhouse only a few blocks from the New York office of the Strategic Scientific Reserve, which you had come to work for along with Steve and Peggy. Steve was only ever brought in when additional force was necessary, preferring to spend as much time as possible with Bucky. You would’ve found this odd had you not accidentally walked in on the two passionately making out the day the war was announced to be over. Before the war, you might’ve thought something like that was abnormal or wrong, but after everything the SSR and Hydra had done, Steve and Bucky being in love was probably the most normal thing about them and you certainly weren’t going to judge them for it. 

Unlike Steve, you joined the SSR full time as an agent. You had been expecting to see plenty of action in the field, though hopefully nothing quite as dangerous as the war. Instead, you were mostly confined to desk duty: filing reports and getting lunch orders along with Peggy. It was beyond infuriating to see the agent who had trained you and whom you admired so much be pushed off to the sidelines because she was a woman. Your own abilities only made matters worse for yourself. While Steve was praised for his enhanced abilities, yours were viewed as a mistake- women weren’t fit for combat, let alone superpowers. Some of the men of the SSR even had the audacity to act like you had stolen the opportunity to gain abilities from a more worthy man, as if getting your abilities wasn’t a traumatic experience you still dealt with to this day. Nevertheless, you made do. Everyday trying to convince yourself that you were making a difference even from your desk but most days you regretted not staying with the Howlies. 

You had been considering leaving the SSR to rejoin the Howlies when one of Howard’s vaults was robbed. His inventions were stolen and the inventor became a fugitive. To save face you were forced to move out of your beautiful house, though only temporarily, but you began working with Peggy behind the backs of the SSR and outside of the law to clear your friend’s name. At least you were finally getting some action in the field. And when you and Peggy were able to bring in the Howlies for help on an assignment you thought you’d finally start getting some recognition, but the men continued to undermine you both. Even after you saved the world from Leviathan Jack Thompson was given the credit and all you and Peggy were left with was the respect of a few agents. 

One such agent was Agent Daniel Sousa, though you felt that you had his respect long before Leviathan. Though he wasn’t ever very vocal about the injustices you faced in the office, he seemed to empathize with you. Like you, he was an abnormality in the field with his prosthetic. The other agents tended to treat him like he was broken or delicate, which sometimes limited his fieldwork, though never to the extent of yours. 

“Hey! Invisi-Girl, let's get a move on!” Thompson called from the entrance to the bullpen, where he and Peggy were waiting. You had finally been invited to celebratory drinks with the other agents, though you weren’t sure you really enjoyed their company. 

“God I miss the Howlies,” you groaned, Dum Dum Dugan’s nicknames might’ve been cheesy but at least they weren’t bad. You had hated Ghost at first, but now you’d do anything to have the nickname back. 

“Yeah, yeah, we get it, you spent time with the Howling Commandos blah blah, let’s go.” Thompson rolled his eyes and you froze in the middle of the bullpen. 

“Wait, is that what you all think?” You asked, eyes narrowing. “That I ‘spent time’ with the Howlies?” 

“Yeah, just like Carter did. Why does this matter?” Thompson was impatient but you were stubborn and there wasn’t a chance you were leaving this building until this was cleared up. 

“You dumbass.” You snarked and you heard some of the men gasp at your vulgarity. “I am a Howling Commando.” 

“They don’t let women into combat.” You heard a man say and you laughed. 

“I was the SSR’s greatest asset behind Captain America.” You rolled your eyes, momentarily going invisible to remind everyone what you were capable of. “Why do you think I came here afterward? So you could waste my talents fetching coffee?” 

You scoffed at their silence before catching Peggy’s eye. She was smirking proudly at you and you grinned back, slinging your jacket over your shoulders and walking purposefully to her side. You slipped your arm through hers and looked expectantly at Thompson,

“Well? Let’s go.” You said, staring at him as if he had grown a third head, though he was giving you an even more peculiar look. 

The next day you put in a request to transfer to the new West Coast office.

___

LA was the fresh start you needed. Steve and Bucky had flown out with you to help you get settled in your new place, once again supplied by Howard, that man really had too much real estate. Peggy couldn’t get the time off to come with but you made sure to send her a postcard. Howard was moving too, apparently sick of New York after the Leviathan incident. 

You had a new home, a new city, and a new job so imagine your surprise when you walked into the West Coast office of the SSR only to run into Daniel Sousa, literally. 

“Agent Sousa, what’re you doing here?”

“I’m the new chief.” He answered, looking at you strangely and you suppose that’s information you should’ve known but nobody had told you and you hadn’t asked. 

“You’re the…” you muttered, filing through it all in your head. “Well, congratulations. I didn’t realize anyone else was transferring from New York.”

“I believe it’s just you, me, and Rose,” Sousa said and you beamed.

“Oh, Rose is here? That’s fantastic.” 

Sousa raised his eyebrow curiously though he smiled slightly. He looked adorable. “You had no idea what you were getting into did you?”

“To be honest I was just anxious to get away from New York.” You admitted and he frowned. 

“You dislike the city that much?”

“I love the city, just not the way the office is run. I was hoping a brand new office might be more open to change but…” you trailed off, managing to communicate your fear that things would be the same under Sousa that they were back East without speaking. 

Sousa at least had the mind to look offended. 

“Agent Y/L/N, I have a lot of respect for you and I don’t plan on sidelining you like Jack,” he explained. 

“Well then, this might be a worthwhile endeavor after all,” you smiled, “Lead the way.”

LA was a dream. The constant sunshine was such a mood lifter and the heat meant a more relaxed dress code at the office. Not that you were spending as much time in the office these days. Daniel had been true to his word about not benching you. In fact, you became the first pick for field assignments. Daniel seemed readily able to acknowledge and exploit the advantages you had in the field. No one would suspect a woman to hold a government position, let alone be a field agent so men continued to underestimate you at every turn. And even when a man was smart enough (or more likely you were dealing with a woman) you had a few extra tricks up your sleeve. Daniel had even taken to joining you in the field on many occasions. You had become partners of sorts. You did plenty of solo assignments, but if you ever needed backup Sousa was always the one watching your six. He never assigned any other agents to work with you, always insisting to do so himself. 

In addition to a more fulfilling work life, your social life was quite enjoyable as well. Whether you liked it or not, Howard was often insistent on dragging you to party after party and you found you quite enjoyed spending time with Ana Jarvis, though you weren’t all that surprised given how fond you were of her husband. 

Your love life was a little lackluster, though that wasn’t anything new for you. You’d had a few prospects before being literally kidnapped during the war but after your rescue, you had dedicated yourself to the cause. Even now you threw yourself into your work, turning down every attempt at matchmaking Howard tried. You had more important things to worry about than finding a man, you rationalized, but perhaps you were also waiting for a certain someone. 

You had told Bucky straight away- panicked and looking for advice on what to do when you had a crush on your superior. 

“I don’t know,” he had told you, “Steve and I were already in a fully committed relationship when he became mine.” 

You had just groaned and whined more about your situation while your friend laughed from the other side of the phone. 

“You’re no help.” You pouted and Bucky laughed some more. 

“Sorry, doll,” you could practically hear him shrug through the phone and you let out a resigned sigh. 

“Is that Ghost?” You heard a voice ask in the background and you smiled lightly at the nickname. 

“Yeah, but-” Bucky had started speaking but was cut off. You heard a scuffle and muffled shouting through the receiver before a new voice rang through. 

“Hey Y/N it’s Steve,” he spoke pleasantly, as if he hadn’t just wrestled his boyfriend for the phone. 

“Hi Stevie, how are ya?” 

You told Steve about your predicament as well, there wasn’t any harm in it. Bucky was the one who would tease you endlessly about it, but Steve was a softie. 

“Dan’s a nice guy,” Steve had said empathetically, “You could’ve picked a lot worse.” 

“Yes, but Steve I can’t pick Daniel.” You griped petulantly. “He’s my boss.” 

“Y/N, if I can date a man then you can date your fucking boss,” Steve said flatly, clearly done putting up with your bullshit. 

“Language, Cap!” You gasped, scandalized. Steve had scolded Gabe one time for swearing in the field and the Howlies had never let him live it down since. 

“Oh fuck off,” Steve groaned and you laughed. “Now stop whining like a child and go get your man.” You could hear Bucky whoop from the other end of the phone at Steve’s words.

You laughed at the pair and agreed, no more moping. You’d ask him out the next day at work.

___

You did not ask him out the next day at work. You had marched right up to Daniel’s office to ask and were brought to an abrupt stop because Peggy Carter was standing in the office. 

“Peggy!” You had squealed excitedly, any thought of asking Daniel out completely thrown from your mind at the sight of your friend. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“Well, it was all rather last minute, really.”  

Daniel cleared his throat, “Agent Y/L/N, could you give us a minute?” 

You furrowed your brows at the use of your formal title, the two of you were long past using titles. You’d been partners for more than a year now, you were on a first-name basis. 

“Sure, chief,” you said, playing along though you gave him a confused look. 

The longer you stood in the bullpen the more anxious you became. Back in New York you had heard Thompson mock Daniel for the torch he supposedly carried for Peggy. Maybe Peggy had feelings for him too and she had finally come to confess them. That was why they had rushed you out of the office so quickly. 

After about five minutes you realized you were probably supposed to be doing your job and made your way over to your desk. You had paperwork that needed to be completed from your last assignment but you couldn’t keep your mind off Daniel and Peggy long enough to complete it. Your stomach turned as you tried to push away the thoughts of what they could be doing in there, it had been nearly a half hour now. 

You were considering going downstairs to talk to Rose, anything for a distraction, when Peggy emerged from the office. She smiled kindly at you as she made her way over to your desk, her purposeful stride reaching you in seconds. You knew that smile, the one that looked sincere but there was a seriousness in her eyes that you could pick out. There was more to her arrival here than meets the eye and she was trying to keep up appearances.

“We need to talk,” she said quietly but firmly when she reached your desk. “In private.” 

You nodded, standing immediately and grabbing your purse. 

“My place.” 

None of the agents questioned your sudden exit. You were the branch’s top field agent and were often leaving with no warning to act on hunches or investigate for your current assignment. The drive to your house was tense. Peggy made no attempts to make small talk and you were quite upset with her for the scenario your mind had made up about her and Daniel in the office.

Peggy did smile when she stepped into your new home, it was the first time she had seen it as she had stayed with the Jarvis’ last time she was in town. Howard, who had once again taken care of your housing situation, had described it as “small” though you knew that was just his rich bullshit talking, the place was much too big for a single working woman but you weren’t complaining. Ana had helped you decorate as you had neither the time or mindset to do it yourself and she had been very eager to assist. 

Though she seemed fond of Ana’s decor choices, Peggy still didn’t speak until the two of you were seated across from one another at the kitchen table.

“What is all this, Peg?” You asked warily.

“I want to replace the SSR.” The way she said it, all rushed and quiet as if she were committing treason, chilled you.

“Excuse me?” You blinked in shock.

“The SSR hasn’t been nearly as effective as it could be and I’d like to replace it with something bigger and better,” she explained and you frowned at her in confusion.

“Replace it with what?” The SSR was the only organization of its kind in the States.

“The Strategic Homeland Intervention and Enforcement Logistics Division.” 

“SHIELD?” You questioned, figuring out the acronym, “As in like Steve’s…?” 

Peggy nodded, flushing at the obviousness of it and you laughed. 

“So what would the Strategic Homeland Intervention... whatever, do?” You asked, struggling through the title before giving up. 

“Well, the idea is to be a shield to the world,” she began and you smiled at the pun.

“The world as we know it is changing, we’ve seen super soldiers, women who can turn invisible, atom bombs, Hydra, Leviathan, Whitney Frost, the list goes on and on. The goal of SHIELD is to be on the frontlines, keeping track of dangerous tech like the gravitonium and ensuring it stays out of the wrong hand, to protect the world from the next threat.” 

You could tell Peggy was passionate about this and it sparked something inside you as well.

“We want you to be a part of it.” Peggy said finally, rounding out her pitch.

“We?” You questioned, previously unaware that this went past just Peggy.

“Colonel Phillips, Howard, Steve, and I have been working on it for some months now,” she admitted and you fought back the hurt that your friends had been keeping such a huge secret from you. 

“Well, obviously I’m in,” you responded, no doubt in your mind that you would follow these people to the ends of the earth, “But, I’m a field agent, Peg.” 

She smirked at that. 

“Oh, I know you are.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she spoke and you couldn’t help but question it.

“What the hell does that mean?” 

“Oh, Agent Sousa has done an excellent job of making sure everyone in New York knows just how good of a field agent you are,” she smiled and though you still didn’t understand, you could feel your heart warm. “‘Accidentally’ sending reports to the wrong agents, putting in the wrong extension number to speak to Thompson. Every agent in that office knows you’re unquestionably the best field agent the SSR has.” 

“Why would he do that?” You questioned quietly, not really meaning to ask it aloud. 

“He was defending your honor,” Peggy answered anyway, smiling softly at you, “I do believe the poor man has a bit of a thing for you.” 

Your heart leapt at the assumption. Sure, you thought you had seen the signs yourself but that was nothing compared to the outside affirmation Peggy had just given you. Daniel Sousa may very well like you back. 

“So what did the two of you have to discuss in his office?” You asked, attempting to hold back your jealousy, still not sure where Peggy stood with Daniel. 

You evidently hadn’t done a good enough job as your friend smirked knowingly before answering, “I was just bringing him into SHIELD.” 

___

Despite your revelation that the feelings you held for Daniel were mutual, it seemed the two of you couldn’t catch a break. Though SHIELD had become a great success, it had separated the two of you. Daniel had been sent to the Area 51 base to supervise the tech innovations and training that went on there while you had remained in LA, taking over as the head of the west coast division of SHIELD. You rarely spoke on the phone, let alone saw each other, both too busy with your new tasks in this brand new organization. 

You did hear from Peggy more, as Director of SHIELD she was in frequent contact with you, ensuring that everything was running smoothly and delivering orders on how to improve. You heard more from Steve and Bucky as well, as they were now heading SHIELD’s training facility, Camp Lehigh. As your branch continued to grow you often communicated with them about sending new agents and giving them progress reports about the new recruits you occasionally supervised. Of course, you did also use these phone calls and cross-country business trips to catch up with your dear friends. 

However it wasn’t until years later that you got a glimpse at Daniel Sousa again. Peggy had sent you to Nevada to help on a new project the scientists there had been working on. As director she was too busy to make it herself but Project Helius was apparently a big deal and you were sent to inspect it on her behalf. 

You hadn’t even thought about him when Peggy had given you the order. You were so caught up in making sure your second-in-command had everything under control in LA and stressing over the pressure of representing the literal Director of SHIELD that Daniel Sousa didn’t even cross your mind until he stepped out of his office and into the hallway you were in. You had frozen immediately, your feelings rushing back to you at the sight of him.

“Daniel,” you managed to get out through the breath that was caught in your throat, though your words came out as barely a whisper. 

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” He questioned, brows furrowing as he looked at you in confusion. 

“Peggy sent me,” you answered, the need for professionalism forcing you to regain your composure. “I’m part of the team inspecting Project Helius.” 

Daniel winced at the mention of the project. 

“What’s the matter?” You asked warily, suddenly wondering what Peggy had gotten you into. 

“Nothing, it’s just, well- let’s talk in here.” He gestured to his office and you followed him inside. 

He explained to you all about how Helius was a dud, nothing on earth was strong enough to power the damn thing. However, that was only the surface of Daniel’s troubles. He confided in you his fear that SHIELD had been infiltrated and you suddenly knew the real reason Peggy had sent you: to finish what you had started with the Howlies by taking down Hydra. 

So you stayed in Nevada past the inspection of Helius, helping Daniel with his off the books investigations. Quickly falling back into your routine as partners, you followed him into the field to deliver a piece of tech to Howard. It was a simple enough task: take the train to LA, make the hand off with one of Howard’s assistants, and go home. 

The train ride was blessedly uneventful and you were thankful for the time to just sit and catch up with Daniel. So much had happened in your lives since the formation of SHIELD. You had almost forgotten the warmth you felt at the mention of his name or the sound of his voice or the sight of his face, but it all came rushing back to you. Though you didn’t act on it. It had been years, you had no way of knowing if he still felt the same way for you as you did for him. 

The handoff itself had been simple. You had gone Ghost as the assistant had only been expecting Daniel, but you remained by his side the entire time, refusing to leave even though he insisted he was fine. You had never been more thankful for your stubbornness. On his way out of the building after completing the handoff Daniel was followed by a Hydra agent. His gun was trained at the back of your partner’s head and had you not stepped in you would’ve watched him die that day. But you were there to protect him, always watching his six just as he watched yours. You engaged the agent, your invisibility catching him by surprise and allowing you to throw off his aim but the gun still fired. You watched your partner drop to the ground before you could disarm your opponent and knock him unconscious. 

You were by Daniel’s side in an instant, sure he was dying before your eyes until you turned him over and saw that the wound was through his abdomen. It was a clean shot, the bullet having gone all the way through the man; you had seen Peggy sustain a similar injury from Whitney Frost years ago. 

Daniel had readily insisted “No hospitals” (not that you were planning to do so, who knew what Hydra had access to) so you called the first person you could think of. Jarvis picked up on the second ring and was on his way to The Roosevelt immediately. You were thankful Daniel hadn’t bled out by the time you reached your home. Jarvis stayed to help you stitch up Daniel’s wounds and made sure to remind you that he was only a phone call away before leaving the two of you. It wasn’t until after Daniel was stable and Jarvis had gone that the adrenaline wore off and the shock of what had happened hit you. 

Daniel had nearly died. 

“Y/N are you alright?” 

You hadn’t even realized you were crying until he spoke but his concern sent sobs wracking through you. He slowly reached a hand out to rest comfortingly on your shoulder, bridging the gap between the guest bed and the chair you had moved to his bedside, intending to keep watch over him. 

“I thought you were dead,” you gasped out through your sobs and you felt Daniel shudder. “I thought I lost you.” 

You were petrified. Lost in your fear of losing the man you had come to care so much about. 

“But you didn’t,” Daniel said softly but with conviction, “You saved my life Y/N.” 

You sniffled as you looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy from the tears. 

“Well I couldn’t just let you die,” you scoffed, trying to cover up your embarrassment at your breakdown. “You’re my partner; I love you.” 

Daniel’s hand stiffened on your shoulder and you tensed up immediately, your entire body becoming rigid. The words had just slipped out. You hadn’t even realized your feelings ran that deep yet there you were confessing them. 

“W-what?” Daniel stuttered out after a few excruciating moments of silence. 

“I- I’ve had feelings for you for quite some time now,” you admitted, burying your face in your hands once more, unable to look at the man. “B-but there was never a good time… and I didn’t mean for it to come out this way- and-” 

“Y/N,” Daniel interrupted you, reaching farther to hold the side of your face, tilting it up to look at him. “I love you too.” 

“Y-you do?” 

You could hardly believe your ears or eyes as he nodded. 

“I’ve had feelings for you since New York,” he admitted and tears sprung to your eyes again. 

His eyes immediately filled with concern at the sight of the tears and you brought your hand to cover his as he brushed them away with his thumb. 

“They’re happy tears,” you reassured him as you scooted your chair closer to the bed so he wouldn’t have to strain so far to reach you. 

He smiled a bit at that and tried to sit up in the bed. You quickly put an end to that, not wanting him to do anything that might irritate his wound or rip his stitches. You stood from your chair, adjusting his pillows so that they propped him up slightly against the headboard. Once you were finished you looked down at the man and you could’ve sworn your heart stopped at the look he was giving you, it was so full of tenderness and love you thought you might start crying again. You welcomed the hand he placed on your cheek again, slowly guiding your face down to meet his. 

The first kiss was brief, full of hesitation and gentleness but you were certain you felt fireworks. He pulled away after only a moment but you weren’t willing to let him go far, surging forward to reconnect your lips in a longer second kiss. This kiss was considerably more passionate, as if you were both trying to communicate the intensity of your feelings without words; you knew words would never be able to do it justice. You could’ve stayed there kissing for hours but your back began to ache from leaning over the bed and you knew Daniel needed to rest in order for his wound to heal so you pulled away, thumb coming down to lightly stroke his cheek. 

“As amazing as that was,” you sighed breathily before straightening up. “You need to rest.” 

“I’m not sure how you can expect me to rest after a kiss like that,” Daniel responded cheekily and you laughed as you made your way to the door. 

“Do your best,” you smirked, hand hovering over the light switch as you stood in the doorway, “Goodnight, Daniel.” 

___

a/n: This is both longer than I had originally intended it to be and took longer than I originally planned it to. Nevertheless, my 1940s!Reader x Sousa au is here! Let me know what you think! Feedback is always appreciated! Also, I’m starting a taglist so let me know if you’d like to be tagged in any of my future works!

Taglist: @hi-this-is-my-brain​