#river rants

[theriu]

People who draw superheroes in super skintight outfits that show off every contour of their muscles and butts suggest that they (the artists) do not understand how fabric works or how uncomfortable it would be to have a permanent pants wedgie.

[a-heart-full-of-dumb]

Welcome to the fandom, Isaac.

[polluted-puddle]

i wake up everyday annoyed as shit to be here still and to repeat the same cycle over and over again

[squinching]

just woke up from a seizure nap to an unskippable O2 ad with intense strobing 👍 STOP USING FLASHING LIGHTS ON ADS THAT YOU CANNOT SKIP!!!! PLEASE?????

[butter-your-flies]

idk why people get so hurt over different music tastes

like if someone likes country and another person likes rap or something for example why cant those two people just be like "wow cool" and move on with their day instead of getting hostile?

i also hate it when someone says they like an artist and people respond to them saying "____ sucks" and "i hate ____" because...its not about you and they didn't ask??? if you dont like someone dont listen to them. it happens so much to me when i say i listen to taylor swift people respond like "omg taylor swifts music is soo badd" and i just dont respond because okay cool i guess? why are you telling me this? (and dont get me started on the fact that a lot of the hate towards her isnt even just "i dont like her music" its rooted heavily in misogyny)

anyways listen to the music you want to listen to and let people listen to the music they want to because why does it matter anyways

[professorlegaspi]

Buckle up kiddos because you’re about to get an in depth character analysis of our favorite unnamed character ever: Josh Rumble’s sister!

Major disclaimer before I start: info on this girl is few and far between. I did not reread the whole series and I could have missed something. If you find something unmentioned in this essay TELL ME. Do not be shy. No, I will not be mad. Yes, I will want to hear. I am rabid about this woman.

The biggest source of information we DO have about Josh’s Sister (from here on referred to as JS) is her conversation with Celia in the Gathering Storm. The bulk of this essay will focus on that scene, but I want to mention the other small tidbits that exist.

We basically have 3 facts found outside of The Summer Tournament.

1) JS is older than Josh Rumbles

2) JS taught Josh how to dance

3) JS gave Josh an e-reader for Christmas in The Final Word.

This tells us a couple more things.

1) Her family celebrates Christian holidays

2) JS is good at gift giving

3) JS has disposable income

Okay cool. So JS is in contact with her family who are either Christian or culturally Christian, she knows how to dance, and she loves her brother. Baseline stuff.

Now the spicy bit - the Summer Tournament.

For those who may have forgotten, Josh’s team won the Renasci Soccovolle tournament so now they’re going to nationals. The one that year is in Florida, and all of Josh’s friends have come out to watch him play.

Yes, you are remembering correctly. This is the stage of The Kiss. Josh kisses Celia, she slaps him, it gets caught on camera, it’s on the front cover of every newspaper. Josh is pissed, Celia is pissed, and JS is pissed.

Celia and co. are staying at a hotel for the tournament. They have nearby rooms, and Josh is staying with his teammates, presumably in the same hotel. It is unclear what JS’s rooming situation is.

Josh apologizes to Celia in the hotel lobby, and it ends with him storming away. JS confronts Celia directly afterwards, so we can infer the JS has seen the conversation.

The first thing we learn about JS is her appearance.

She is tall, and gorgeous. She has blue eyes, mahogany hair, and her two most notable descriptors are “cool” and “sophisticated.” If there is any archetype she fits it is “The Bitch.”

Fittingly, she starts off the conversation bitchy.

She “stud[ies] her fingernails” for much of the following conversation. She is an absolute drama queen.

JS goes on to explain why she’s there. “I was here to watch my brother play. Our parents couldn’t make it.”

I would like to take a minute to remind everyone that Josh, for much of the summer, had been complaining because the one year he made it the Summer Tournament it was in Florida, the state where he lived.

The summer tournament is in Florida - where Josh lives - and his parents couldn’t make it. I think we all can agree that that’s a little weird.

They’re either poor and can’t veherate, thus making travel difficult, Josh’s tournament isn’t considered a priority for them (:/).

This next part is interesting:

“I guess he talks about you a lot.” On the surface, this tells us that JS and Josh communicate frequently.

However, that clause “I guess” is strange. There’s no real reason to add it. Her message still comes across - indeed, is more impactful - without it. So the fact that it’s there speaks to habit. She’s used to either tempering herself and her opinions, or she’s used to hiding her relationship with her brother.

And then, and THEN!

“You didn’t have to make it so public.”

That is a loaded sentence. The implications there are scalding. This changes everything.

This sentence is pivotal because it tells us why she’s upset - why she’s picking a fight.

JS does not care that Josh has a crush on Celia. That is for him to work out. She does not care that Celia turned him down. That is for them to work out. She does not even care that Celia slapped him. Look at the sentence above. “Are you often in the habit of humiliating your friends?” she asks. Not ‘hitting’ not ‘injuring’ not ‘slapping.’ Humiliating.

JS does not care that Celia hit her brother. She cares that it happened publicly.

JS cares about Josh’s reputation.

With that revelation, I want to return to her descriptions. “Polish and sophistication” is what Celia notes about her contenance. Knowing that JS cares deeply about how her brother is seen, and therefore cares deeply about how she is seen, the air of “polish” cannot be anything but deliberate.

JS either wants to, or feels like she has to, be exceedingly presentable even on a Sunday morning travel-day.

This could be a result of being overlooked as a woman, but I think especially because her reaction to Josh’s “humiliation” was so strong, it is probably a quirk of her upbringing.

Contrast that with Josh. He’s constantly choking on his own masculinity. He’s a jock, he doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings, he is uncomfortable even when other people communicate their feelings, he has a fairly gruff exterior and feels threatened by other men.

Something about JS and Josh’s upbringing has caused them to feel that they have to perform gender roles very hard, and has also made JS see violence coming from a loved one as less important than reputation.

WHAT is their home life???

Genuinely. Something is Going On.

Whatever it was, it caused Josh to almost never mention it. He never calls his sister by name, and it is only though passing comments that we know they have a relationship. And we know nothing, truly zilch, about his parents.

So, to conclude.

JS comes from a … rocky home life. She cares about her brother. She is protective of her brother. She buys him expensive Christmas presents. He tells her about his friends and Celia. She listens.

She cares about being taken seriously, and beyond being very beautiful seems to have secured a well-paying job. She is very curt when she speaks, and likes to let people come to their own conclusions. She doesn’t offer her name and Josh never mentions it.

After the Gathering Storm she is never seen again.

[thefullmetalriver]

Brunette Bois™️ who own my heart

(in no particular order)

Eddie Munson

John Bender

Patrick Verona

Klaus Hargreeves

Jake Peralta

Jaskier

River Barkley

Jughead Jones

Edit to add:

Wylan van Eck

Randy Meeks

[daearrivers]

it may have been fully in silent but i just i’m proud of myself! i watched a shark movie!!

[riveripples]

Sorry for my hiatus! I'm back now!

[f0rkz]

who the FUCK made the official spotify playlist for “twilight vibes” bc i just wanna fucking talk. they fucking put post malone on it. they put nial horran on it . what the actual fuck. they put selena fucking gomez on it what is this fucking kids bop ?????

[therivergirl]

I love my grandma but sometimes, she really can be stuck in the before.

So, I got my period today. Now, I had a morning shift and, scatterbrained as I was, I almost forgot my pads (not ahuge problem, I keep a pack at work just in case).

Still, I grabbed a few and, with them still in hand, rushed out of the apartment.

"Oh, put those away, don't tell me you'll let the patients see you like that! Don't let them know!"

Like what, exactly, grandma?

Am I naked?

Am I in full BDSM get-up?

Am I completely wasted?

I have a pad in my hand. Literally one pad!

What, will my patients melt if they see me carry one?

Will they all get heart attacks when they realize that the intern of their doctor's, clearly a woman in her mid-20s has "those days in a month?"

I'm giving their endurance a bit more credit, thank you very much!

In honesty, though, this idea that AFAB people should hide that they have periods can go die in a fire. It's SO damaging.

Generally, being all hush-hush about reproductive health is damaging.

Like, one time I asked a patient something about her vulva (I had a reason to) and she was genuinely surprised I didn't say "Down there".

Yeah, I'm a doctor, same way I won't use the term "Up there" when referring to the brain, or "your chest insides" when talking about the heart, I won't dance around the word "vulva" (Ok, if the patient is very uncomfortable, I will, for their sake, but that's another issue.)

What world do we live in when people are surprised when DOCTORS use medical fucking terms???

I had another patient ask me if it's "appropriate" if she asks me about her "down there"!

WTF do you mean if it's appropriate, I'm a doctor? Ok, I'm not YOUR doctor, I'm her intern, but same difference. How much shame is in our culture when people think that their goddamn health is not an appropriate topic to bring up with their bloody doctors of all people???

So yeah, my dear grandma, I will NOT hide my pads from my adult-ass patients.

Because the embarrassment about pads leads down to the way that ends up with an adult patient thinking her reproductive health issues are inappropriate topic to discuss with her doctor.

Because this circle of shame and whispers has to be broken.

For everyone's sake.

[theriu]

Speaking as someone who really dislikes people dying: Guys we GOTTA stop preserving the supervillains. Bronzing, turning to stone, putting into enchanted sleep—why are we making the villains functionally immortal??? I get we need to defeat the evil yet remember the value of mercy and not be consumed by murder-vengeance, but have we considered imprisoning them in a way that still lets them die of old age??? This isn’t a solution, it’s postponing the problem! And you know the instructions always get lost! Future generations should not have to deal with this crap!!!

[a-heart-full-of-dumb]

Okay so, I have not yet seen the new Scrooge film I have only seen the trailer so far.

However, am I the only one who thinks that Fra Fee's character gives off Courfeyrac vibes?

I mean, look at this man!

[polluted-puddle]

i need to wash my hair but i dont wanna

[dreamykiddo]

dude. i want to start and ask blog so bad but i might get grounded today again and also idk what to do it on 💔💔💔 i dont trust myself with an ii or foreign kid (sp in general) ask blog or homestuck bc um

homestuck has too much media and im not far in the comic AT ALL like not even remotely

the other options,,, im just scared of getting anything wrong

maybeee ill do a doors ask blog bc theres nothing necessarily canon there? its been a while since if interacted with the doors fandom enthusiastically though

and even then idk if i should make it for screech bc everybody hates screech for some reason. (theyre my fave i could talk abt my hcs and rps for hours probably,,,)

[professorlegaspi]

Josh Rumbles and the Candy Grams

Otherwise known as: Josh Rumble’s love language is acts of service.

This is tangential, but before we begin I would like to point out that the only time Josh says “I love you” in the books is when Celia’s asleep, but he consistently goes out of his way, to significant personal detriment (and sometimes in peril of risking his very relationship with her) to help her in whatever way that he can. This man does not know how to communicate outside of his actions and it shows.

One example of this is the Candy Grams!

Josh sends one nigh every year, and this meta will be examining his reasoning and emotions, as well as Celia’s reactions to them (she’s the narrator, it’s kind of inevitable).

In order to lay out the groundwork for this, I would like to take a moment to harp upon one of my favorite Celia’s Journey tidbits: the fact that Josh Rumbles has been nursing his crush for Celia Fincastle since day one. He was halfway in love with in every. single. book. He’s the textbook definition of a goner.

My proof for this? Words straight out of the man’s own mouth (TGS, 430).

I’m going to add a disclaimer here saying that I personally believe Josh didn’t know he had a crush as a seventh-year. He was eleven, and probably only realized with the benefit of hindsight. However, we don’t actually know one way or another.

What we do know, is that as freshman at Renasci, the Mensaleon kiddos in Celia’s grade banded together to make sure they all got something for Valentine’s Day (BitA, 167).

It does say “at least one,” so it is still possible Josh sent a Gran that year, but if so, if wasn’t remarkable enough for Celia to comment on it.

The Key to the Past is were things really get spicy!

The passage in that book is significantly longer, so I’m not going to picture the whole thing here, but the gist is that they didn’t do group Valentines that year, but Celia still got one. It was unsigned (the card just said “Happy Valentine’s Day) and none of her friends admitted to having sent it (KttP, 206).

We all know it was Josh who sent it, but what we don’t know is why, and that’s a really big question.

He couldn’t have done it to see the reaction in her face. Candy Grams are delivered by a third-party, and it was left on her desk. He had no way of knowing when she’d come by and open it.

I see a couple of options here.

Option 1: he sent one to all of his friends, and Celia’s perspective just shields us from seeing that. Possible, but iffy because he didn’t come forward when she asked who sent it

Option 2: he did it planning to confess to his crush, but then changed his mind. He sent the chocolate knowing it would intrigue Celia but chickened out when she asked around. Sub option: he waited to see if he received chocolate back, and said nothing because Celia didn’t send him a Candy Gram (too sad to contemplate)

Option 3: he didn’t plan to come forward, but did send it with the assumption Celia would figure out who it was from. He thought he was obvious, and that Celia would confront him about it, but when he realized she was oblivious, he chose to stay in the shadows

Option 4: I’m overthinking it and this is an example of Josh acts-of-service Rumble’s love language. He just wanted to see her be happy and credit was irrelevant to him (sweet, but now as likely in my eyes)

Option 5: he had no idea what the fuck he was doing. There was no plan, no thought process, it was entirely spur of the moment, he regretted it later

We can’t know which it was.

But this is early years. Josh has only recently figured out he has a crush, and it’s probably one of the first ones he’s had. He’s still figuring out where he stands.

If I were to make an educated guess, I’d say that Key to the Past’s Candy Gram was a test - both of himself and Celia. A test to see if she felt similarly, a test to see how he wanted to proceed, a test to see if he had the guts to send it in the first place.

It isn’t, at this point, a tradition. This is Josh’s launching point. His story very much does not end there.

In Flash of Red he does it again (FoR, 263).

And in Secrets Letters and Lies, again (SL&L, 410).

By this point, it’s is certifiably a Thing for him. The fact that he didn’t stop when Celia got a boyfriend tells me this is more about him than it is about her.

Yes, he wants her to notice him, and every year is a new chance for that, but he’s also self-soothing. He’s reaffirming his feelings and recommitting to seeing them through.

If you’ll recall, Secrets Letters and Lies is the year he reveals he has a “secret crush.” He’s in it for the long haul, and knows it. And he’s not afraid of what that means anymore. Or in any case, is more willing to own it. He still hasn’t confessed.

And Searching for Clues makes it clear that he has no immediate plan to (SfC, 542).

This (let’s hand it to him, he’s good at acting) well-played cover-up is not the actions of a guy who plans to tell Celia he likes her. This is premeditated subterfuge. He knew that Celia would ask about it, and prepared himself to answer flawlessly.

This makes sense for the timeline. Josh doesn’t confess until the Summer Tournament in The Gathering Storm, and even that seemed like a somewhat spontaneous action.

Josh by all rights seems as if he plans to hold his feelings in reserve indefinitely.

But he still sends Candy Grams.

And, by Valentine’s Day as a second-year, Celia knows who they’re from. (TGS, 640-1).

Okay, a couple things to notice here.

One: Josh still doesn’t put his name on the card, even though he’s now “out” so-to-speak

Two: This comes in the midst of a fight, but is not acting as an apology, and Celia doesn’t interpret it that way

Three: Celia says that she “might be behaving the same if the roles were reversed” which lends credence to any interpretation that she has

(Also, side note - the fact that Celia is like ‘he’s being stupid…but also I would do the exact same thing’ is so them. They were made for each other your honor).

Celia’s interpretation is that this is a symbol of Josh’s continued care for her, a care that has been both long-lasting and unbroken by their argument. I agree with this assessment, and I have a few things to add.

It’s important, I think, that Josh doesn’t put his name on the card. It’s a continuation of tradition, a parallel with all the Grams he has sent in the past, and so draws attention to the fact that his feelings aren’t new. But it also downplays the need for reciprocation. He isn’t saying ‘now that you’re single I’m going to court you.’ He’s saying ‘FYI I still care about you.’ It’s not a bold statement, it’s a gentle one.

Also, this is the first year that Celia has any real reaction to the Candy Gram. She feels “a distinct warmth” when considering it, and that warmth is specifically because it’s Josh. (Which- adorable).

The final year at Renasci, no Candy Gram is mentioned (TFW, 555).

The context is she’s severely overworking herself to the point where she’s entered a sort of trance-like state, and has completely lost track of time. She breaks out of this unawareness the week after Valentine’s Day. No Candy Gram is mentioned.

There’s two possibilities.

The first is that Josh did send a Candy Gram. It either didn’t get to her, because she had heavy-duty blocks set up around her desk, or she just fully didn’t notice.

The second is that he didn’t send one.

While we don’t know one way or another, the lack of later mention means the second one is more likely.

Before you get out of you chair in outrage, let me remind you of the situation.

Celia has a boatload of important, consuming stuff to do, and all of it needs to be done by a hard deadline, with her family’s lives hanging in the balance.

She hasn’t been taking care of herself, has been overworking her gifts to avoid sleep and slow down time, and has been neglecting her relationships with her friends and mentors.

Josh not sending Celia a Candy Gram when she has so much in her plate could act as an expression that he recognizes her priorities. He’s willing to wait, and Celia has a very good reason to keep him waiting. He defers to her reasoning, and doesn’t want to distract her.

It could also be something completely different. Maybe Melissa Gunther just forgot. But by God, I am going to read everything Josh ever does as an expression of love, and you can’t stop me.

When it comes to Josh Rumbles, actions speak louder than words, and Candy Grams can say more than they’ve ever been able to get across in discussion.

Excuse me while I go lose my mind.