#roland moira schitt

[reasonandfaithinharmony]

Bringing back this lovely cast photo from the 2018 holiday season

Schitt's Creek: Merry Christmas, Johnny Rose (4x13)

(Click the photo to zoom in on the higher-quality image)

[scrarefest]

SC Rare Fest is returning!

Looking for stories about the Rose family and their friendships with all our favorite Schitt’s Creek characters? Interested in exploring the relationships between our favorite townies? Want to explore how Ronnie got to Schitt’s Creek, what Patrick and Derek talked about during rehearsals, or who bought a tarot card reading from Twyla? What about all the potential throuples and moreples in this universe, or the rare ships that could’ve happened with a canon divergence? Or some post-canon happily-ever-afters, both romantic and platonic? SC Rare Fest is for you!

We are super excited to share that SC Rare Fest is returning for another round of fun!

Quick Details

Works featuring rare ships of all sorts are welcome

Works featuring gen stories of all sorts are welcome

Works based on rare/gen stories of all sorts are welcome, including podfic, art, filk, and everything else!

There WILL be catch-all prompts!

We ask that your work not be centered around the David/Patrick relationship. While it can be in the work as a background element—of course David or Patrick may talk to a friend or family member about their relationship!—we ask that your work be centered around their relationships with others. For example, what do Patrick and Stevie enjoy doing that David hates? What does a shopping spree between David and Alexis look like? Do Johnny and Patrick ever watch another baseball game together? If you have any questions about the intentions of this fest as it pertains to David/Patrick, we are happy to share more of our thoughts!

Important Dates

Prompting is open January 30-February 13

Works are due April 9

Posting will take place from April 10-14

Creators are revealed April 17

Our ask box is open if you have any questions. Help us spread the word!

[etraytin]

Kitten Time!

Hello Tumblr, time for pictures of cat babies!

You're welcome, I hope you enjoy.

[scraregenrecs]

SC Reading Challenge Family and Siblings Recs

So many family feelings with today's list! Here are our rare and gen recs for the @screadingchallenge prompt. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to give some love to the creators!

Family and Siblings

All my secrets are safe in your heart as well… (Twyla, Jocelyn, G, by @typewritess, with podfic by @rhetoricalk)

Boys don't wear makeup (Patrick, G, by @myolivebranch)

Broken Trust (David, Alexis, Johnny, Moira, M, by @ladyflowdi)

care a lot, know when to stop (Alexis, David, T, by ships_to_sail, with podfic by @n0connections)

Dark (Alexis, David, T, by @tyfinn)

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Bathilda E. Schitt (Alexis, David, G, by @landofsonlali)

Gonna Watch You Shine (Stevie, Johnny, G, by @yourbuttervoicedbeau, with podfic by @hullomoon)

to hold off the lightning (Alexis, David, NR, by @maxbegone)

i feel that ice is slowly melting Alexis, David, Johnny/Moira, T, by @landofsonlali)

i try to capture every minute (Patrick, G, by @hullomoon, with podfic by oakleaf)

i'll be by your side, even if i'm not next to you (Alexis, David, T, by @landofsonlali with podfic by Amanita_Fierce)

If I Had $1,000,000 (Alexis, David, Johnny, Moira, G, by @januarium)

in calm or stormy weather (Alexis, Patrick, Alexis/Twyla, by @anniemurphys, @landofsonlali)

in her brown eyes (the ones she gave to me) (Ruth, G, by @sarahlevys, with podfic by @godoflaundrybaskets)

Interlocked (Alexis, David, Johnny/Moira, G, by @wearpersistencewell)

Interlude (Alexis, David, NR, by @maxbegone)

It was very dark (Alexis, David, G & T, by MoreHuman, ICMezzo)

Keepers (Alexis, David, T, by @wearpersistencewell)

Love Without End, Amen (Johnny, Clint, NR, by @chelle-68)

Misery Loves Company (Alexis, David, by @grapehyasynth)

and my task’s but begun (Twyla, T, by @treepyful)

Nobody’s Gonna Leave You Behind, Bébé (Stevie, Johnny, Alexis, David, Moira, G, by Streetlamp_Sunset)

Of Dice and Meeple (Alexis, David, T, by A_Professional_Protagonist)

Reflective Guises (Alexis, David, Moira, G, by @doublel27)

Rose Gold (Alexis, Moira, Alexis/Ted, G, by @fairmanor)

save it from the funny tricks of time (David, Moira, G, by @hullomoon)

Super Rich Kids (Alexis, David, T, by codswallop)

ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes (Mutt, Jocelyn/Roland, G, by @hullomoon)

That's Television's Mom to You (Alexis, David, Moira, G, by @fraudulentzodiac)

we'll get together then, dad (Alexis, Johnny, David, T, by @sarahlevys, with podfic by @n0connections)

we'll take the world together (Alexis, David, M, by @landofsonlali)

you come away with a great little story (Alexis, David, G, by @nerdframed, with podfic by @petalwritesx)

you're a sky full of stars (you're such a heavenly view) (Alexis, Moira, Ted/Alexis, G, by @anniemurphys) 

[deputy-ajay-ghale]

I love the acting in the Happy Anniversary dinner so much. Like when Johnny calls out his friends for ignoring them for the last year and you see Jocelyn quirk a brow while looking down in a “he’s not wrong” way. And the guy Don’s face when the camera pans to him and he doesn’t look guilty??? He looks like, annoyed? Kinda offended? Miffed that Johnny is throwing his platonic neglect in his face? I love the way Moira nods at the end because while she enjoyed the charade, it’s no secret she’s resentful of the friends and family who turned their back on them.

Then there’s the bit where the lady asks Moira where they’re living. It’s obvious Moira doesn’t want to admit the truth, so she lies about the motel AND WITHOUT PROMPTING OF ANY SORT JOCELYN HELPS ADD ONTO THE LIE.

[familyabolisher]

if you wouldn't mind sharing, what did schitt's creek do disappointingly in its story? thank you!

so, like. i mean, i think the show was flawed from the start -- i think a lot of the jokes rely on this image of the, like, small-town 'hick,' that in turn relies on a pretty hefty set of classist assumptions that i don't think dan levy was, you know, interested in interrogating in any serious way. i don't watch sitcoms for their revolutionary politics lol but there were certain moments in eg. roland and jocelyn's characterisation in particular that left an incredibly bad taste in my mouth. (ftr i think season 1 is pretty poor, 2-4 are genuinely good tv, 5 + 6 are a mess.)

but my specific frustration was -- so, at the end of season 4, we see moira despondent that the crows have eyes 2 was shelved; we also see the culmination of a season's worth of work having gone into the community production of cabaret. from here, the plot beats seemed so obvious to me that i was literally like certain i knew how moira's arc would end: clearly, this was an opportunity for her to realise that pursuing the sort of 'fame' she had before was a losing battle that was making her unhappy (and had always made her unhappy!), and that she could find genuine fulfilment through pursuing the kind of 'local,' small-town community opportunities that cabaret was supposed to represent. i mean obviously i have my various communist gripes with this position, but like, by the standards i hold sitcoms from nepo babies to, it's fair enough! it's a compelling enough response to the setup of the show -- the roses have lost everything and have to learn to live without everything. moira relied on a seemily fictitious narrative of public adoration; an insanely easy way to eke some character growth out of her would surely be to have her realise that small, local projects with her friends bring her a joy that public validation never could.

but, like. by the end of the show, moira gets back on the showbusiness ladder, to the point where her old show is rebooted. johnny gets a foot back in the business world. alexis is a businesswoman. david is a businessman! david chooses to stay in schitt's creek whilst the others leave for NY and cali, which is a compelling enough narrative choice on its own, but like -- come on, he opens a v bougie business and Gets Married and whatever the fuck else, it's boring, it's the same old narrative of assimilation into the bourgeois classes. it makes for a nice contrast against the end of season one but i don't believe he's a fundamentally changed person; he's just found a way to make his old tendencies make sense in a new setting.

there's a sense that the lives of the roses essentially reset; that they've been given the opportunity to return to their old lives, taking the 'lessons' they were able to learn from their time in schitt's creek with them. if anything's been "learnt" then it's these v individualist perspectives on, like, bootstraps and hard work; david and alexis have graduated from being nepo children into people with a legitimate intellectual claim to the bourgeois class. johnny has proven himself as a businessman. moira has uhhhh put on a production of cabaret, which justifies her going back to the old life that clearly made her miserable. like -- there's no sense that their old lives were bad, just a sense that they hadn't quite earnt the right to them yet. and in that, everyone in schitt's creek ends up ultimately reduced to a vehicle by which they can earn the right to their bourgeois status. it's a v nasty ethos, and as much as i find individual points of the show pretty funny (like, funnier than your average sitcom), i just -- like, it's so cruel at its centre?

[neon-slime]

I know it's such a small issue but it makes me so annoyed when people say shows like Schitts Creek don't have any homophobia in universe

They do. Johnny tells Moira that maybe David being queer was a phase after he sleeps with Stevie, and Moira has to firmly tell him "it's not a phase dear."

While they're super high at Roland and Jocelyns backyard party, Johnny confides in Roland that he's always known David's life will be harder because he's not straight.

Patrick wouldn't be scared to come out to his family if homophobia wasn't present. David was scared Patrick's parents were homophobic at first. The whole episode revolves around that fear.

Those are effects of homophobia. The show handles it well but it's present.

it annoys me because when people recommend shows and say "there's no homophobia uwu" and there is, I feel like it's potentially setting up the viewer to be disappointed and it also shows me that people aren't watching with a critical eye at all which makes me wonder what jokes made in poor taste slip by them

[rmd-writes]

a harder ask:

you're on a cursed work retreat at a very vague place of work which i have not decided. as part of the retreat, you have to do team-building exercises. one of these exercises is an outdoor scavenger hunt. you're picked last (sorry) so you get to join whichever pair you want to. whoever wins gets a really good prize. pick the pair you'd be most likely to want to join, and the pair you'd least likely want to join:

TK and Carlos who are just married and literally cannot be detached from each other.

Alex Claremont-Diaz and Hunter Huntington III.

Henry Fox and Queen Mary.

Owen Strand and Pez Okonjo.

Roland Schitt and Sebastien Raine.

Paul Strickland and Moira Rose.

Marjan Marwani and the hopeless boyfriend from LS that got stuck in the flying porta-loo.

Mateo Chavez and David Rose.

Johnny Rose and Stevie Budd.

Jonah (as a baby) and Alexis Rose.

Then rank them in order of placings.

This was so much fun and took me way longer than it should have 😅

Would join: Marjan and the boyfriend (Caleb), because Marjan would kick ass and I think the boyfriend would be scared enough of her that her just do what he’s told.

Would absolutely fucking never join: Roland Schitt and Sebastien Raine - I do not have the patience to deal with Roland, and Sebastien is a shit human being

Rankings

1. Marjan and Caleb - as I said, Caleb would likely be scared enough of Marjan to just do what he’s told and would be less of an impediment than, say, Moira. Marjan is good enough to do everything on her own anyway

2. Alex Claremont-Diaz and Hunter Huntington III - ACD’s competitive streak is too strong, plus he’s scrappy and fast. Hunter, while a pretentious wanker, won’t want to be shown up so he will keep up with Alex, while simultaneously driving him mad. They’re slowed down slightly by Alex’s need to rant at and about Hunter periodically. If there are water ways involved, they’ll place lower in the rankings because Alex will push Hunter in.

3. Paul Strickland and Moira Rose - Moira is absolutely a hindrance to Paul, but she is charmed by him and he’s able to get her to cooperate. And if all else fails, he can just throw her over his shoulder. This slows him down just enough (because he tries to get Moira to cooperate for too long before just literally carrying her) that Alex and Hunter finish before he does, but only just.

4. Mateo Chavez and David Rose - okay first, the idea of David having to cope with Mateo is hugely amusing to me. There would be much eye rolling at Mateo’s enthusiasm and many “I don’t know what that means” in response to any and all superhero references. But the thing is, Mateo’s enthusiasm will go a long way, plus he’s a competent fire fighter who is capable of taking charge. And David, for all his protests, is the man who once shot a turkey and also carried his boyfriend up a mountain. If Mateo can give him some direction, I think they’re dark horses

5. Johnny Rose and Stevie Budd - they’ll be slow starters due to Stevie’s general lack of enthusiasm and Johnny bumbling some clues, but much like Steve Bradbury, due to the failure of some teams to complete the game, they finish higher in the rankings than anyone expects - even after Alexis convinces them to join forces so that Johnny can help with Jonah

6. Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor & Queen Mary - poor Henry, as athletic and clever as he is, he’s hampered by the sense of duty and obligation to his family that no amount of time living as Alex’s partner can erase. In this scenario, Mary is nothing but dead weight who will inevitably slow Henry down.

7. Alexis Rose and baby Jonah - assuming that Alexis cannot simply foist Jonah off on an unsuspecting spectator, my fave girl is very resourceful but I do not think she could cope with an infant. Like, at all. Ew.

8. Roland Schitt and Sebastien Raine - does this need an explanation? Roland would misinterpret the clues and Sebastien wouldn’t even try. Roland finishes the game, but hours late.

9. Owen Strand & Pez Okonojo - they start strong but Owen gets distracted by a side quest (does he hear a crime being committed? See a hot blonde he absolutely has no business dating? Could be anything) and once he’s wandered off, Pez finds more leisurely pursuits. They DNF

10. TK & Carlos lose because they don’t complete the game. They get ✨distracted ✨

I feel like almost everyone else you’re sending these too is going to have a much simpler job because they’re not choosing between characters from three fandoms lol

[ashtraythief]

Supernatural is depressing as a rewatch. It has its fun moments, but that show hurts. It wasn’t depressing when I first watched it, but over time…. The rewatches are especially depressing. You just know they aren’t going to get their happy ever after since the life of a hunter is absolute hell. Well, I guess no happy ever after in their actual life, they do get to enjoy heaven together. So yeah, I get you there. What shows do you usually rewatch instead? Have you seen Parks & Recs? It seems like you would like it! Such a comfort show.

Yeah, the Supernatural rewatch can be hard. I have to say though, I’ve rewatched the show more since it ended, because I liked the end and knowing the show ended in a way that made me happy (well, it was obviously a fucking tragedy, but like, narratively speaking, it was a good ending because this entire show is a horror/tragedy), it made it way easier to enjoy the rewatches. The knowledge that in the end, they get an ending that honors the life they led and that they got a period of happiness on earth without apocalyptic disasters and then happiness in heaven. Occasionally, like every few years, I get the bug and start a rewatch from the start, and then at some point, which can vary, I start skipping eps 😅 Mostly though I have a few… thematic rewatches I do.

I either do a Fun Episode rewatch, including eps like Hell House, Monster Movie, Bad Day at Black Rock, The French Mistake (controversial, I know, I know), Mint Condition etc. Then there’s the Extreme Brothering rewatch, which is Sam and Dean being codependent little soulmates and just brothering all over the place, like Scarecrow, The Usual Suspects, Red Meat, Safe House, etc. Sometimes I also rewatch early season Winchesters vs Law Enforcement, which is fun and some really good episodes. So there’s room for rewatches, but except for the Fun Episodes, it’s not really comforting.

I do enjoy Parks and Recs, mostly. Tom is a lot, especially in the early seasons; I don’t do well with that particular brand of womanizing character, and I had to fight my way through season one, but then they really hit their stride. I love Leslie’s and Ron’s friendship, and generally a lot of th friendships and romances in the show are just really well done. I really disliked Andy in season one, but he got good with April. Ron and April is adorable and of course, Ben is just a gem in whatever combo.

I do rewatch Leverage a lot, Sophie is a queen, I loooove the OT3 and watching evil rich people get what they deserve is just very cathartic right now. Plus, I love a good heist and the new characters in the reboot are actually great. Maybe I should rewatch White Collar next...

Recently, I rewatched the Good Place and Schitt’s Creek, though I do have to fast forward through the more annoying scenes with Roland and Moira, sometimes they get a little much 😅

Sometimes, I rewatch old Crime shows, the early seasons of Bones and Castle, before they went too far off the rails lol. Like all procedural shows, they somehow think they need to go bigger every season, with bigger and badder villains, and it just gets ridiculous when an NYPD homicide detective needs to save New York from a bomb and Homeland only sends someone to liaison. Well, you know, more ridiculous than it is anyway. There’s a sweet spot, and small procedural shows saving cities/states/the world ain’t it.

I do also rewatch movies a lot, old romcoms, old action movies, Star Wars and Marvel when it was still good. Easy viewing. And now I just sound really old and crotchety…

I also like new stuff! And sometimes, when I have enough spoons or the right company, I even watch more serious and heavy stuff. It depends a little on whatever is available on streaming, I don't have all services all the time, so sometimes I'm limited in my choices.

(If someone’s interested, I guess I could make a rec list? For whatever?)

Nonnie, I’m not sure, but I think you might have sent me several asks, so if you want, just message me! No pressure, obviously, but the door’s open. Or, well, the inbox is. Seems we're kinda on the same wavelength, entertainment wise. Otherwise, feel free to keep sending me asks!

[scfrozenover]

Welcome to Day 3! As we head into the weekend please enjoy these lovely works: we’ve got New Year’s, weddings, Santa, and much more!!! 

If you’re following along with the daily releases and want to track your progress,  you can find the latest updates in this Google Sheet!

*❄️*

DAY 3 REVEALS

Like Nothing I'd Seen Before

[David/Patrick - M - 14,248]

Patrick hides in New York during New Year's Eve after breaking up with Rachel, again.

David gets abandoned by his so-called friends on New Year’s and starts heading home.

They meet and kiss.

Then David suddenly vanishes without a trace.

Will they find each other again?

*❄️*

Just because you like to wander, that doesn't mean you don't know the way

[David/Patrick - T - 9,439]

Prompt:

It's a week before Christmas and David Rose has run away from Schitt's Creek. Only problem is, the truck he stole broke down and now he's stranded. He's rescued by a nice couple who insist that he stay with them and their newly single son for Christmas.-

I didn't fill the prompt exactly as it is but I hope you don't mind!

-

“David, what I’m about to say is going to sound very weird, but hear me out… my parents are trying to set us up.”

A surprised laugh escapes David, he had wondered the night before, but still… “What? No, that's not possible. No parent has ever wanted me as a partner for their child.”

“Well, they do. Mostly Mom, but Dad is on board too, even if he isn’t trying as actively as she is.”

*❄️*

Santa Baby (All I Want For Christmas Is You)

[David/Patrick, Stevie & David, David & Roland Moira Schitt, David & Jocelyn - M - 8,640]

Is David on the naughty or nice list? Read on to find out..

*❄️*

Where the Lovelight Gleams

[Stevie & David, David/Patrick - NR - 6,834]

Stevie and David have not spoken in fifty-eight days. But the holidays are a time for friends to set aside grievances, and, when that doesn't work, some well intended meddling from the people who love them.

*❄️*

A Beautiful Discovery

[David/Patrick - M - 4,116]

“I have a secret.”

“What is it?”

“You kiss better than the bride.” Patrick whispered.

David and Patrick meet at the singles table at Rachel's wedding but things aren't as they seem when they meet up in Patrick's room after the wedding.

*❄️*

i would wait in a thousand lines with you

[David/Patrick, Alexis & David, Patrick & Alexis & David - G - 2,961]

David just always knew that Santa wasn’t real.

Adelina had tried her best to make up for lost ground with the Rose children, including celebrating special childhood holiday traditions. When a visit to a mall Santa goes a little sideways, a kind boy and some Christmas magic prove that even if it takes a few decades for it to happen, David can have everything he has always wanted.

*❄️*

He Works Hard for the Money

[David/Patrick - E - 1,693]

Rose Apothecary hits a milestone. The owners must celebrate. In the only way they know how.

*❄️*

[Podfic] just a little bit of magic

[Alexis/Twyla - T - 25]

Twyla Sands has always known the day that she would meet her true love.

(Podfic of just a little bit of magic by nerdframed).

*❄️*

CREATORS: If your works were released today, please don't forget to update your posting date!

[scrarefest]

PROMPTING IS NOW OPEN FOR SC RARE FEST!

Want more stories about the Rose family’s found family? Interested in exploring the relationships between our favorite townies? Want to explore Patrick and Ray’s relationship as roomies, how Ronnie joined the Jazzagals, or what happens to Alexis in New York? What about all the potential throuples, moreples in this universe, or the rare ships that could’ve happened with a canon divergence? Or some post-canon happily-ever-afters, both romantic and platonic? 

We are the fest for you!

How Prompting Works

Between today, January 30, and February 13, you can leave prompts on AO3! Any ideas for rare or gen works can be left here for creators’ inspiration.

We will have catch-all prompts, for those who want to keep their ideas secret (instead of posting and claiming their own prompt) or for fanartists, vidders, podficcers, etc. who wants to create work for this fest that’s based off of an existing work. They will be posted after prompting closes so they are at the top.

Prompts featuring any non David/Patrick romantic relationship, whether they are canon or not-canon, or any non-romantic relationship, whether they are canon or non-canon, are welcome!

We ask that your work not be centered around the David/Patrick relationship. While it can be in the work as a background element—of course David or Patrick may talk to a friend or family member about their relationship!—we ask that your work be centered around their relationships with others. For example, what do Patrick and Stevie enjoy doing that David hates? What does a shopping spree between David and Alexis look like? Do Johnny and Patrick ever watch another baseball game together? If you have any questions about the intentions of this fest as it pertains to David/Patrick, we are happy to share more of our thoughts!

To give everyone a fair chance at claims, we will be removing claims made earlier than February 13. We will announce on Tumblr when claiming is officially open!

Important Dates

Prompting is open January 30-February 13

Works are due April 9

Posting will take place from April 10-14

Creators are revealed April 17

Our ask box is open if you have any questions. Help us spread the word, and start prompting today!

[tyfinn]

Fic Rec Friday Fun

Thank you @apothecarose @jesuisici33 @jamilas-pen and @mammameesh for this much needed distraction.

So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words. And thanks to @stereopticons for adding the "least" to the list.

Most Hits: Rings Around Your Heart What if David found out six years later he fathered a child before he left New York? With Patrick, Stevie, and all the townie's help, David becomes the parent he and Alexis never had growing up.

Least Hits: The Witch of Schitt's Creek Roland Jr. thinks he sees a witch, and runs to David and Patrick for help.

Most Kudos: Rings, Runner-Up: Man About Town While David recovers from a sprained ankle, Patrick and Stevie learn what David does in his free time.

Least Kudos: Wrong Honey, Honey! Part of the Shower Shake-Ups! series, this one has Moira walking in on who she thought was Johnny, but was actually Roland instead.

Most Comments: Rings again. Runner-Up: May Days and Nights Daily ficlets for the month of May.

Least Comments: Forever, Always David and Patrick's first Valentine's Day.

Most Bookmarks: Rings again. Runner-Up: What Happens in Vegas Can Last Forever What if David and Patrick got married after meeting each other in less than 24 hours?

Least Bookmarks: Survivable An SCRarefest prompt: What did Stevie do the three days David went missing?

Most Words: Rings again. Runner-Up: What Happens in Vegas

Least Words: Face Me (217 words) based on the prompt: "I can't believe you talked me into this."

Tagging @treluna4 @a-noble-dragon @chelle-68 @mallpretzles @obsessedwithdavrick @dinnfameron @wearpersistencewell @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

[thebeesareback]

In light of Catherine O'Hara getting cast in The Last of Us S2, here is what I think the gang from Schitt's Creek would do during a zombie apocalypse

Stevie ends up like Bill and Frank

Alexis runs drugs

Roland and Jocyln start leading a group and build a safe and respectful compound. Every night they watch a Gloria Estephan film. Unbeknownst to R and J, there is a thriving organ trafficking market running through their compound

Mutt doesn't realise anything has happened

Moira writes a popular zombie themed musical, where she stars as a human-crow mutant. She accidentally starts a cult and has people supplying her with Xanex and new wigs

Ray is still an estate agent, just for run down shacks he calls "fixer uppers "

Ronnie would do something actually useful and wear lots of cargo pants

Johnny would try to trade things, like swapping rolexes for ammunition

Twyla dies, but not from a zombie bite. Maybe a tree falls on her

Ted would work on a cure

David dies immediately

[etraytin]

New Fosters!

We're back from our spring break beach trip (yay!) and wouldn't you know, it's time to dive headfirst into kitten season here in Appalachia! I have three new babies I just picked up today. They're about a week old, eyes still closed, and like all bottle babies their age, they've got a sad little story. Apparently one of ENKA's regular foster folks was at a local shelter to pick up a pregnant cat when a woman walked in with a box of screaming newborn kittens. She told them her neighbors had moved away and left their outdoor cat behind, and she'd tried to bring the cat indoors, then realized it was pregnant. The cat gave birth, then a day or two later had begun acting weird and eventually died at the vet's office, leaving behind five orphans. She couldn't take care of them and wanted to surrender them. The shelter told her they couldn't do anything for her except euthanize the kittens, but the foster asked her to wait and contacted ENKA's foster coordinator, who told her to bring them in. Situations like this are sort of our bread and butter, taking on kittens that shelters have no room or skills or resources for.

So now I have babies! Two of the kittens are with another foster because five bottle babies is A Lot, and I have the remaining three. There's a dilute tortie girl named Jocelyn, a gray girl with a white muzzle named Moira, and a gray boy with a white chin named Roland. (Their litter is the Schitt's Creek litter, so now I'm going to have to watch the show to understand what I'm calling them.

They're about seven days old now, which is still very little, but we're fortunate that they got five critical days with their mother so they got colostrum and learned how to suckle. Roland is a deeply inefficent nurser who mostly just wants to hold the bottle in his mouth and purr, but they are all eating well at two hour intervals.

Callisto, who is now four months old, is extremely miffed about this revolting new development. She is not allowed in the kitten room because they are under quarantine for two weeks, but she can hear their hangry cries when I am handling them and will stand outside the door and yell along. I have to keep a toy right outside the door to keep her from running inside the moment I open it, and as soon as I wash my hands it is Hold Your REAL Baby Time. Or it is "I am mad at you and I'm going to my sulking spot" time.

They've got another week or so of hyper-frequent feedings, then at two weeks we go to three hours in the daytime and 3.5 at night. I can't wait to see what they look like as they grow and become more cat-shaped, I think they're going to be real cuties!

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

sorry this ask has nothing to do with Taylor Swift but it is relevant to your other interests (I hope).

okay so you're take a flight cross country (who knows which airports lets just pretend) and at some point the plane has to make an emergency landing. it lands (safely) in the middle of nowhere and now the airline is putting you up in a pretty shitty motel with nothing around for ages with 100 other passengers. you have to stay in this motel for 12 hours with 2 other people and you have basically nothing else to do. rank your preferred room-mates from 'okay, fine' to 'over my sleep-deprived body':

1. Roland Schitt.

2. Moira Rose.

3. Sebastien Raine.

4. Billy Tyson.

5. Owen Strand.

6. Pearce Risher.

7. Hunter (Huntington III).

8. Senator Richards.

9. Philip Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor.

10. Queen Mary.

11. Sadie.

12. Me.

okay so first of all, i definitely read this last night because i remembered you were on the list, but i must have stopped processing after pearce, and whoo boy does the end of that list get worse until it gets to you.

you. - listen, i know you tell everyone all the time how chaotic you are, but i actually think our particular brands of chaos would gel pretty well together. this is not an okay, fine, and is more of an ooh, my friend!

billy tyson. - i actually think billy would probably be a pretty fine roommate. his antagonistic and terrible tendencies seem pretty focused on owen, and i am not owen.

owen strand. - this is contingent on the fact that if he and billy are my roommates TOGETHER they drop alllllll the way to the bottom. i do not have time for their shit. but anyway, i think owen would be slightly more annoying than billy, and would probably tell me all about the last time he had plane trouble, but would otherwise be fine.

pearce risher. - again, he'd probably be mildly annoying, but nothing terrible. and i bet he'd go to sleep quickly.

hunter (huntington iii). - again, probably annoying, but i bet i could get him to shut up by just talking about taylor swift until he put his headphones on.

sebastien raine. - horrifically annoying, and talking about taylor swift would not shut him up. perhaps i could instead go through every single softball chant i remember until he also puts on his headphones and leaves me alone. i will say though, that turns me into a terrible roommate also.

philip fox-mountchristen-windsor. - philip would try to be annoyingly controlling about the whole thing, but i'm an eldest sister and in this universe where he's real i already know he's stupid, so i would win in a battle of wills. he'd probably be a fine roommate otherwise.

moira rose. - at this point i would have to put on my headphones and ignore what's happening in the room. i think she'd cry herself out after about two and a half hours, which is entirely too long but i have dealt with a melodramatic crying woman in an unfamiliar hotel room before, so at least i have some experience.

roland schitt. - roland ranks right above the literal murderers, because good lord is that man annoying. hopefully he would also go to sleep quickly?

queen mary. - god, she's awful. i probably wouldn't refuse, simply because i think i would get a perverse joy out of watching her try to share a room with a random girl from kentucky. and also she's old. in my experience at the retirement home, old people go to sleep SO EARLY.

sadie. - i cannot. she would scare me too much. also isn't she in prison? how did she get out early? perhaps what i should be more scared of is the justice system in this country.

senator richards. - lola, i come in contact with one of the kentucky senators offices fairly regularly, and having to resist the urge to egg them is a terrible ordeal. and no one is more real life richards than mitch mcconnell and rand paul. in short, i couldn't, because i would end up spitting in his face in his sleep.

this was fun thank you! and also i believe thanks are due to @rmd-writes and @celeritas2997 for helping come up with this literal who's who of hellish fictional roommates.