#romantic inclination: fuck around and find out (ultimate)

[jpegcompressor]

i learned how to make handmade envelopes and got a wax seal just to simply not have penpals. why is life so cruel and unjust

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

Could you do some hcs for dating the teen titans?

Yes I can!! I just got HBO Max so I’ve been binging both the animated and the live action series haha 😂 Thank you so much for being my first request!

Also I’m guessing you’re referring to the original teen titans, so if you want the new teen titans just shoot me another request!

Dating the Teen Titans Would Include...

No Specified AU

TW: Language

Genre: Fluff

[DC Masterlist]

Word Count: 2.0K (About 0.2K per Titan)

Dick Grayson

You must have an insane amount of patience, truly, to be able to date Dick Grayson

If the joke book he probably carries around isn’t enough, I would’ve been certain that the ego would drive you away but nope you’re still here

And that’s how you both knew that it was true fucking love you’re both inseparable and the Titans know it.

To put things simply... he loves you and the Titans fear you.

While you’re both somewhat easygoing and hospitable, one would do well not to piss off one or the other because you both come as a package deal and you can kick ass when necessary you just choose not to embarrass Dick like that because you could totally outmatch him.

Don’t ask him that though he’d insist that he’d win.

Best not bring up the first time you met or else the Titans would never let him live it down

But in all seriousness, I see the relationship as rather lighthearted and enjoyable, maybe a bit spontaneous too. Want to go to the beach? Done. Want to kick some ass in Gotham? For sure. It’s like a match made in heaven.

Not to mention that the Titans rather look up to you, which is a definite plus. Not just anyone can date the Dick Grayson.

Wally West

As opposed to popular opinion... I’d think that this is a rather slow relationship. 

Speedsters are more than just familiar with how life just flashes by so I think Wally would like to enjoy the relationship at a slower pace, he wants it to last as long as possible.

With that said, you’re both menaces. His speed combined with your cleverness? No one is safe and the Titans know it.

The best moment of your relationship, although this is debatable, was when you and Wally successfully turned the Titan tower into an all-out prank minefield. Trash cans were covered with plastic, buckets of water places on doorways, even wardrobes were switched.

And all done in ten seconds, impressive. Nothing quite like starting a war in the Tower then grabbing burgers after, right?

Kind of cheesy but I can see you both having frequent movie nights that differ in genre according to month. You both probably rotate on who chooses the movie too.

Overall I think you both have a lot of fun together, if I were to compare the “vibes” to something, I would say a summer relationship (that obviously lasts longer than just a summer) where everything is just living life as it goes

Nah because like I said before you guys don’t want to rush things, and you’re always there to remind Wally to just slow down every now and then.

I should probably mention that this is a competitive relationship too, before I go, not everything’s a competition but everything’s a competition, you know? It’s a shame that the Titans often get caught in the cross fire though-

Donna Troy

Oh this one’s fun. Donna’s new to this whole “rest of the world” stuff but luckily she has a wonderful partner who’s willing to teach her everything.

A lot of the relationship consists of you explaining things, but it’s kind of endearing despite Donna’s headstrong attitude towards anything

But Donna is also the kind to be open to learning new things, and you’re open to trying new things. It works like clockwork, you’re both young and willing.

Now these “things” can range from baking cookies to extreme mountain climbing so be prepared for anything in this relationship.

Overall I think the Titans see you both as a really cute relationship, one that anyone could be slightly envious of and one that they’re glad that exists

But despite this loving relationship I think you’d both be absolute machines in a battle, I think one thing that is important to Donna is ultimately respect for each other’s abilities, having grown up on Themyscira and all, and maybe that one battle where you absolutely demolished the enemy was when she really caught interest.

Or not. It could’ve also been when you mistakenly ran into one of the glass walls in the tower and she developed a crush over you while you mumbled a series of curses.

This relationship is strongly built on loyalty, so I think you both would be describes as a pair of ride-or-dies who typically tend to lean towards the latter, especially when trying the more extreme things that Donna asked you about.

But overall I think it’s a really sweet relationship with few bumps, they’re still there but I mean that you’re both good at working through them.

Victor Stone

I feel like this relationship is very classical high school romance, you know?

Like walking to class together, holding each other’s books, stuff like that.

But on the other hand I feel like you’re both a very fun couple to be around, like you know how when you’re with some couples it feels like you’re third wheeling? Not these two. You feel like you’re part of the crew

You guys probably switch between fun couple and parent couple every now and then, I can see the Titans relying on both of you a lot for different things.

You and Victor are definitely the type to play games to determine who buys food, like things as simple as rock-paper-scissors to things as complicated as 8-Ball, and so far you’ve been winning at a ratio of 3:1.

Definitely a very trusting relationship, I feel like you both reach that comfortable stage faster than most, but it feels right, you know? I think you’d both understand that relationships go both ways.

There are probably times where you’re both in a teasing mode too, I think, but they’re mostly light hearted pranks, definitely not anything in the realm of what Wally would do

I kinda want to say that you’re a very active couple in that you both like to go to the gym together and idk take hikes together but at the same time I also want to say that you’re both inclined to stay home and play video games so I guess it’s like a 50/50

I can also see Victor being the type to do small acts of generosity as opposed to like buying gifts to show his appreciation for you, like I feel like he’s more inclined to help you with small tasks when he knows you need it, you know? Overall very cute, hehe

Raven (Rachel Roth)

Now this one’s interesting, you and Raven are certainly an interesting duo, but the most interesting thing would likely be how you met. Let’s say it involved a blood sacrifice, a bat, and a very old bicycle.

No you weren’t trying to summon her someone else was you just ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time anyway moving on

You’re both the perfect example of opposites attract for more reasons than just one. 

But what makes it better is that you’re always open and willing to learn and understand many of the things that Raven does and she appreciates it a lot

It goes both ways also! She’s always willing to do whatever you ask her to and you both end up having at least some fun even if it happens to be something she isn’t used to.

Random, but I think a favorite pass time for both of you is simply sitting in her room and reading books, weird, I know, but like there’s something inherently romantic about either of you excitedly showing the other a certain passage you both enjoyed or telling them about your book, it’s just so sweet.

She definitely has a personal bias towards you, obviously, Garfield can say a joke and she’d stare at him with a straight face but you could say the exact same joke probably right after him and she would crack a smile and she probably does that on purpose but it still feels nice

You also may or may not have caught on to her incantations and now you may or may not be able to perform these spells but you haven’t tried because you wouldn’t know how to but it’s just telling of how much time you spent together.

I only mention this because there was an event in which you corrected her incantation and suddenly hell fire appeared which she had to figure out how to get rid of and since then you both mutually agreed to both (a) not tell the Titans and (b) not say incantations out loud

Koriand’r (Starfire)

STOP YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE anyway you’re definitely both kinds to see beauty in everything

Maybe this relationship is rather dangerous considering you’re both curious people and Kori happens to be able to shoot lasers out of her eyes so maybe you should both be just a little more careful

You’re both probably very doting on both each other and the rest of the Titans and although you’re both well intentioned it has become a case of “oh no there’s two of them” but in like a teasing way

I feel like Kori is very open to sharing a lot of aspects about her culture with you, and you have always found Tamaran culture to be beautiful so it fits

Likewise you share a lot of things about your culture too and you both bond over finding ways to combine them together to make a nice fusion of understandings and it’s all a sweet combination

See a big thing about this relationship if that you both put your everything into it, it is an equal push and equal pull kind of thing where you both love each other with everything that you have and it creates this unbreakable bond that even non-supers have come to acknowledge

Though this also results in the both of you frequently being in your own world even when others are around and that’s something you both promised to fix but yeah...

It’s coming around, don’t worry. You’re both making active efforts but sometimes it just slips your mind and whoops

Now this should go without saying but this trust often leads to powerful combinations when in missions, you’re both fiercely loyal to each other and this often plays in overall favor so all is well

Garfield Logan

This is a fun relationship, definitely, and one that’s also very fulfilling.

You’re both definitely an outdoorsy couple, things like hikes, nature walks (which I guess is also a hike but I’ve been told otherwise), trips to the zoo, etc. but this all just builds the relationship

Also a very sweet one! You both have an unlimited amount of energy and love that you’re often expending said energy volunteering somewhere and helping others out

But when it boils down you’re both also very touchy, I think, you both like being together at all times and cuddles are a frequent occurrence but at the will of the other Titans you both do this in privacy

I also feel like this sweetness can also “flip,” so to say. As in if someone messes with either of you in the relationship the other will come running regardless of whether or not they could do anything about it.

To put it short, you both have each other’s back all the time. Literally, like I said you’re both inseparable. 

Despite these I think the relationship would actually be rather lowkey, I don’t think he would be the type to constantly showcase the relationship. I think he’d mention it like once to get it out there but after that he wouldn’t flaunt you around.

I just think that Garfield, even with his usual out and about behavior, is rather modest when it comes to this topic because you’re more to him than just someone to show off, you’re someone who’s important to him and overall he just wants you to be comfortable

If there’s one flaw in this relationship it’s that when you have arguments it’s just horrible, but also rather comedic. Neither of you talk to the other but you both end up still being in the same room together subconsciously. It’s kind of awkward but the coincidences are what makes the other Titans laugh and honestly you both make up within, like, a day or something.

[sullustangin]

Random headcanon for Risha!

You're getting the entire package! (throws confetti). Also, I have had a LOT of thoughts about Risha Drayen as I write her.

Sexuality Headcanon: Risha Drayen loves fucking men. Women are ok, but they're not her first choice. She's 'experienced' with women, but it's nothing that she'd keep a file on. Risha isn't opposed to fooling around to get to a man, but she knows what she really wants.

Gender Headcanon: Much like Eva, Risha is more interested in sex than thinking too hard about performative gender while getting through life as a displaced heir of a planetary dynasty. At the same time, Risha understands that looking the part is as important as playing the part. Risha always has a mind as to how things appear to outsiders. Eva is oblivious to it; Corso has anxiety about it; Risha manipulates perception to suit her future goals.

This results in an intertwining as to how she presents her gender and sexuality. To the underworld, she isn't as much of a goer as Eva is, but at the same time, she's hardly a prude. She does like them inexperienced -- moldable. To a certain social strata, Risha is deliberately more discreet and prim and ladylike. She obscures her ability to disassemble and reassemble a freighter engine in less than four hours. Any serious noble marriage candidate has to be dragged through the hoops to make sure they are serious and they are worthy of being her consort when she becomes queen. This does fit in with, if romanced, how long she makes the male smuggler wait to sleep with her (marriage).

A ship I have with said character: This is where a lot of headcanon comes in. Risha always seems to deflect any statements of affection with business or money or material exchanges. She bickers with the smuggler, even if romanced. She actually doesn't say "I love you" to the smuggler until "Unhappy Returns," post-KotET. Even then, she's playing it off as if it's reluctant or something that does not come easily to her.

Based on that and the dialogue she has with both the male smuggler and Count Rineld (her would-be suitor), I actually headcanon Risha to be aromantic. I do have her getting a lot of feelings for a few characters that cross her path, but whether that results in a 'romance' is not known. So for now, aromantic, possibly demiromantic or gray romantic. Even when talking about her potential future kids, she talks about 'doing it for Dubrillion' -- not because she has a romantic idea of having a baby with the person she loves. Risha totally does love, but it's never in that romantic, world-through-rose-colored-glasses way. Sex serves a purpose. Having relationships has a purpose. Romance isn't something she wants just for a sake of having it. She's not anti-romance; she's a huge cheerleader for Theron/Eva and then Akaavi/Mako. Hell, she even liked watching the Darmas/Eva relationship.... when Darmas fooled her, he had made her like him, and how she wishes Eva had killed him.

Darmas may yet find an awful fate in prison for him, if Risha ever has the inclination. Theron was on the List too, but then he saved Eva and eventually married her. Risha bawled her eyes out at the wedding because she was so happy that Eva finally, after 15+ years, got the happy ending Risha felt she deserved.

I don't ship Risha with anyone at the moment. The way Risha thinks of it, it's unfair for her to 'take up space' for someone that does feel romantic love toward her; that feeling won't be reciprocated... and there's still some part of her that believes everyone who falls in love deserves to have someone fall in love with them. But don't tell anyone about THAT. The door isn’t fully closed on the topic yet. 

A BROTP I have with said character: Ultimate platonic love? Eva and Corso. Eva was probably the person that came the closest to understanding Risha Drayen -- the person closet to cracking that hard shell. And Corso -- he went with her into exile. All of that is love and not the romantic sort.

A NOTP I have with said character: If I had to say 'no never' to any character, it'd have to be Theron Shan. That's her best friend's husband. Now, before they were serious, Risha was sort of joking, sort of serious about going for Theron after Eva ruined him. Risha shelved that idea on Rishi. Risha did approach Theron during the Carbonite Years with information about Eva....while wearing the Voidhound outfit; she had to make sure she got his attention. She originally was toying with the idea of 'comforting each other in their grief,' but Theron's expression at the Voidhound's reappearance was akin to a person who had just gotten hit by a speeder. She immediately aborted that mission -- didn't even suggest it or make a joke.

A random headcanon:  Everyone refers to the various class stories as ‘found family.’ Here’s the thing: the smuggler crew isn’t the smuggler’s found family.

It’s Risha’s.

Look at what we know of her history prior to linking up with the smuggler.  We know she did business with Beryl Thorne when she was very young; it resulted in Beryl getting caught and Risha fleeing to save her own skin.  Risha feels guilt over the Beryl situation.  Sometime after that, Risha makes friends with Sumalee and Shariss and they make enough of a name for themselves to be known as the Triple Threat.  Risha takes the smuggler off the main track to save Shariss, and then they work closely with Sumalee to save Corellia.

Keep in mind Risha is only 21 when the game starts; between the age of 11 and 21, she’s had the above relationships/crews.  Whenever she loses friends or has them exit the underworld, she seems to reassemble a crew as soon as possible.  Is it career driven?  Pursuing the crown?  Yeah... but at the same time, Risha seeks people to bring into her circle... and based upon Guss’s and Corso’s continued inclusion despite the canon friction between them and Risha,it’s not just based upon utility.  Based on the letter you get from her as a romanced smuggler, she doesn’t even give up until 3 years after Eternal Fleet. She doesn’t want to be lonely.  The crew is her family -- and the smuggler is the closest one of all.

General Opinion over said character:   Risha is one of the best formed companions with or without a romance.  She is more than just the Princess Leia stand-in, and she has a great backstory.  I wonder if she was originally meant to be your first companion, but then Corso got put in; his sidelines with Rona and his former merc crew are less compelling to me than Risha’s.  Sadly, I think they kept her out of the game too long.  I tried to run with her as my main comp on Onderon as part of a “the girls go on an Indiana Jones-esque adventure” ..... and it didn’t click. :(    None of my original comps clicked the same way after carbonite, except Bowdaar, who was the first smuggler companion to return and was my main guy on the Star Fortresses.  I didn’t feel this kind of loss with Corso, but I did with Risha.  Frustratingly, all of the Smuggler companions are OPTIONAL to get in KotFE/KotET.....so even Bowie doesn’t have a heroic role in the main storyline after a certain point.  :( 

Ok, too many feels.  Time to go steal something expensive with Risha on my Canon!Eva who is now Lvl 29.

[galacticwildfire]

Poe Dameron NSFW Alphabet

Warning: smut below the cut off

A/N: I’m tipsy and far too honest in my thots. This isn’t proofread. Enjoy.

Also, I unapologetically head canon Poe as bi, he is a beautiful man with so much love in his heart, and Oscar Isaac will go down with the Finnpoe ship so there’s that. So with Oscar Isaac and Zorri this is just my conclusion, don’t come for me. Bisexual men face so much stigma and biphobia it honestly breaks my heart, so as a bisexual woman fuck that, I’m here for bi Poe.

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

This man is a cuddler. He will not let you go. You've got to wrestle yourself out of this man's arms to get up. I mean a full on bear hug sort of guy. Soft. Ultimate Labrador energy. Will find time to clean you up but ultimately you’re trapped in bed with him.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Poe knows he has a good ass. He didn't even realise how good until he couldn't fit his ass into flight seats (this is canon) and decided to take it in stride.

As for his partner, he loves ass and tits equally, well he might be a little bit more inclined to ass but he loves both. However the ultimate turn on for him is thighs, he loves digging his fingers into them, loves them around his head.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I'm a disgusting person)

Poe can be a nasty mf, if he's feeling cocky or playful who knows where it might end up. But if he's intimate then he loves finishing inside you, watching it leak out of you. Definitely finds it a turn on in any case.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Poe Dameron is very much an open book about everything to do with sex, however with a serious partner he could be a little nervous due to his reputation, worrying they might not realise how serious he is about them, that they think he might not be loyal. Just a little nervous about his flyboy reputation in general. But when they assure him they love him and trust him he’s completely honest with them.

Also if he’s in love he’s definitely thought about proposing in the middle of sex too many times to count.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

As above, bi Poe. This man is in his early thirties and has been a hotshot fly boy turned commander. He is definitely experienced and he sure as hell knows what he's doing. But as he's gotten older he's become more serious about his relationships, looking for something that will last.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

All of them. He is a 7 positions in 70 minutes type of guy. Depending on the mood his favourites would be girl on top, or from behind and likely something else that requires flexibility. He's an adrenaline junkie so I imagine he's playful in the bedroom. But if he's intimate then missionary or spooning sex, I can see spooning sex definitely being a number one go to for him, something about his ring on your chest, able to kiss you or press you into the bed and whisper absolute filth in your ear, he has range.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Goofy as hell. It is not sex with Poe Dameron if he doesn't make you laugh before during and after. If he's come back from a life or death mission he will be more serious but that's the exception.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

That man has the most beautiful curls and it is the same below, the carpet does match the drapes. It's well kept but no shaving or any of that, not overly trimmed but not messy.

Would never ask his partner to change there’s, fully believes it’s their choice, he’ll go down on them all the same. Hygiene obviously a must.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

Even when he is being goofy and playful he somehow knows how to make it intimate as well. There'll be times when sex is more about pleasure and playing around and exploring, but if he craves intimacy then he will be the most romantic, caring man in the galaxy. Can he the nastiest mf if he is in the mood but damn can he be the most romantic as well. Again, he has RANGE. But at heart is the ultimate romantic.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Often, sometimes to holovids but if he's in a relationship then his mind and images of you are all he needs. However that's only if he's away on a mission, more often than not he'll tease you all day long instead until he can get you alone, in a cupboard or in the bedroom.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Choking: I can definitely see him with a hand around your throat, or yours around his. Nothing extreme, usually it's not even to do with breathplay, but aesthetically he finds it extremely hot.

COMMANDER KINK: I will never shut up about this, this man has the ultimate commander kink. Call him commander in the bedroom and watch what happens next.

Light bondage: he definitely likes playing around and experimenting in the bedroom, I can see him tying a partner up and teasing them, and vice versa.

Edging/overstimulation: you get one or the other. He'll either edge you until you are begging or overstimulate your until your begging. Either way, you will be begging if he decides to be a cocky mf.

Hair pulling: pull those beautiful curls and he will lose his mind.

Strip tease: he would be into it. Sit him on a chair and tease him with a strip tease and/or lap dance. He will play it off like the cocky mf he is but on the inside he is screaming.

Oral fixation: will go into detail below

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He will do it everywhere and anywhere, especially if there is a risk of being caught. Unless it would be by Leia, he would die on the spot if that happened. He would do it in the hanger, closets, cockpit, bedroom, shower, if you are offworld watch him take you on a beach. He definitely has a list he is ticking off. And yes, he has definitely done it in the x-wing to varying levels of success, after his last one was trashed he may have requested his new one have a larger cockpit for reasons.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He is the ultimate adrenaline junky, it doesn't take much to get him going, but flying is a big one. You in a flight suit is an even bigger one. Anything with a risk or thrill is a turn on for him. Also has a soft spot for you and BB8, the way it goes straight to his heart you might as well be holding his baby every time you talk to BB8.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Would do playful or mild degradation but nothing awful, would spank but wouldn't smack you around. Also nothing too painful, especially after when he was tortured. There is very little Poe wouldn’t do as long as it wasn't too extreme, but he would want to sit and talk and make sure you’re both on the same page before doing anything. Consent king 100%

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Oral king. Honestly would make it his day job if he could. Turns him on massively and gives him the perfect opportunity to tease the hell out of you. Can get a little nasty with it. If he feels cocky he will 100% spit on it. Loves having his hair pulled and having thighs suffocating him.

As for receiving, it's his weak spot. He will try to be cocky but he loses his mind, doesn't mind if you swallow spit or whatever you want to do. But watch him give you an open mouthed kiss after you swallow. He has no reservations around cum or bodily fluids.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Like I've said. Range. He will do it all in one night if that's what you want. It all depends on the mood. This man can go from an adrenaline high to really just needed to be held and loved. He goes from one high to the next, through love or flying. And as the war progresses the stress gets to him more and more, it's then sex often is rough or as a stress relief, or intimate and sensual when he really just needs some love. Either way, he’ll make it intimate and make sure you know he loves you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Has no reservations about quickies, sometimes it's the only chance you get in the resistance, but he will always draw it out later on when he has the time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Will take just about any risk with the exception of Leia catching him in the act because that may just be the only thing that could bring this man shame. He is an adrenaline junky, he's no different in bed.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

He can go for rounds, teasing you in between them or just being intimate in general. He doesn’t even mean to do it, but one minute you’re in the middle of after care talking about something he did that you liked and next thing you know he’s getting you ready so he can do it again and that can easily turn into a nights worth of activities.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He’s definitely bought some over the years, either jokingly or out of curiosity. Likely wouldn’t use them that often but if you wanted to he’d be all for it. And would love teasing you with a vibrator. Can definitely see him buying you vibrating panties and just having the biggest most self satisfied grin on his face all day long. Is more silly with them than anything else.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Cockiest mf in the resistance. He will tease you like it’s his job. Outside of the bedroom and within. Watch him tease you throughout the day shamelessly and pull you into bed the first chance possible. And as for edging and overstimulation, he enjoys it but the moment you bat your eyes or beg he’ll give in and give you what you want unless you’ve specified otherwise. Always makes sure you’re comfortable and want him to overstimulate you to the point you can’t talk before he does it. He loves to tease and loves getter teased in return, banter is his favourite thing, but the moment you’re teasing or edging him he will be the absolute whiniest man and will beg for you to just touch him. Will tease all night but cannot take it in return for more than five minutes.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Unapologetically loud. Makes all those pretty noises however tries to cover it up with that obscenely dirty mouth of his and all the filth he’ll whisper in your ear. Biggest dirty talker, again sometimes intentional but most often there’s no filter between what goes through his head and his mouth so you get to hear exactly what he wants to do and how he likes it.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

After sex he loves to lie there with his head on your chest, playing with his mother’s ring around your neck, unable to wait for the day you wear it on your finger. He’s a romantic at heart, maybe a bit of a surprising traditionalist in wanting to get married and love one person for the rest of his life, very much bases his perception of love off of his parents marriage. Poe may be a flyboy adrenaline junky on the surface but deep down he is an extremely loving person who craves a deep connection, who wants to spend his life with someone and love them truly.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

Above average, not overly long or thick to the point it’s uncomfortable, but decently above average in both areas and definitely knows how to use it. In his mind his mouth and hands are equally as important tools in getting his partner off.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

HIGH. And watch him get grumpy when he’s celibate. It’s like he’s hangry but horny edition. (My personal headcanon for his grouchiness in the rise of skywalker.) Would never push anything if you aren’t in the mood but will get a whiny if you purposefully with hold to tease him. It’s average enough when he’s not in a relationship and focusing on work, he can touch himself and keep himself happy enough but if he’s with someone then he’d to it anywhere anytime.

Z = ZZZ (... how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

No matter how tired he is after care is always a must, sometimes that after care is cleaning you up and attaching himself like a sloth before passing out, most time’s he likes to stay up and pillow talk about everything and nothing for hours while cuddling. To him that’s even better than sleep and he will definitely be tired the next day with zero regrets.

[mcousland]

nobody asked for this at all, the dummies have just become my comfort zone and i love them so a fool filled out a whole meme for them for the fun of it. dietrich belongs to @darlingicarus​!

— SHIP QUESTIONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP —

how did they first meet?

dietrich saved both maeve’s and carden’s lives while he was making a run in the city. saving carden was pure coincidence that came from killing a few of the dead that had been blocking his own path, but maeve was intended as he kept her from meeting a terrible end when one of the dead got hold of her skirt while she tried to run past. as everyone is prone to in those early days—dietrich was fine with protecting maeve and even bringing her back to whatever group there was at the time, but didn’t mind one bit if carden got bit somewhere along the way.

what was their first impression of each other?

maeve thought he was a bit too Blunt about everything that was going on and wished he would stop looking so damned serious all the time, it made her nervous about danger being around every corner and she was already scared enough. she also thought he was a bit handsome underneath that scowl

dietrich had a bit of a hard time seeing her past carden’s [annoyingly] large presence but thought she wasn’t taking things seriously enough, too many witty one-liners and worries about dirtying her hands and clothes. probably worried about the brightness of her clothes attracting too much attention too tbh

did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

family, that’s a good one. ohhhh, i’m sure a few of their friends wanted them to sort things out and just admit to themselves whatever was going on between them, because oh boy did they Ignore a Lot of things for quite a while but a good 80% of the group could spot how close they had grown through all of the things they endured together.

who felt romantic feelings first?

we already know that it was maeve!! we know this, how silly it is to even type it out!!! we know that she woke up one morning after an evening of fwb activities, spent a minute gazing at him while he remained asleep beside her and there was a frightening Oh No realization when she found herself reaching out to touch his cheek without thinking.

did either of them try to resist their feelings?

both of them! big time!! they were fucking terrified. on top of their own already established issues with Feelings, there are the obvious shared fears that come from the world they’re living in. it’s difficult to accept that you’re becoming attached to someone when you know that you could lose them at any moment with so much violence and darkness surrounding you at every turn, especially when you’ve already lost others along the way. (dietrich definitely held out his resistance for longer, though that's a given.)

if you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

would depend on the timing, i suppose. early days they’d probably both scoff at the thought, but later on maeve could be convinced. there’s that whole “soulmates can be made” belief and yes it may be cheesy, but maeve’s a romantic at heart and she’d like to think it’s true enough. soulmates are people who understand each other deeply, are connected at the mind, and know without doubt that the other will always be there at their side—consider maeve Convinced.

GENERAL —

who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

maeve did! technically twice if you count a difference between the beginning of their fwb agreement and then the relationship proper faaaar down the line. i believe the first hook-up came about from maeve making a Very convincing argument for them to find some pleasure and relief from their steadily growing stress while they were away from the group, given that they had become somewhat of a default duo for supply runs and spent so much quality~ alone time together. considering that you could hardcut to five minutes later and find maeve on her knees unbuckling dietrich’s belt, i’d say the proposition went pretty well 😌 the relationship itself came along quite some time down the line, when maeve accidentally slipped up mid-makeout and let the love she has for dietrich Shine through her eyes while looking at him. naturally his instinct was to book it out of there because Feelings Hard, but maeve decided to risk baring her fuckin' heart ((after some months of Pining and a particularly Traumatic series of events that led to them clinging tighter to each other than before)) by asking him simply to "stay" before he could get out the door. arguably that moment was scarier than most of the times they've gone out into the world beyond the safety of their group, but ultimately worth the leap of faith!! because he stayed, and though it was never explicitly stated, they both understood that that night spent together was them putting an end to the fight against the feelings they both knew were there and finally taking the next step in their relationship.

did they have an official first date? if so, what was it like?

they did, but it was purely because maeve labeled it as such and no other reason. a few weeks after their relationship was Confirmed, maeve up and decided that their run into the city would be their first proper Date because they hadn't had some actual alone time in a good while, and it sounded like harmless fun which they didn't get enough of. nothing really Changed from their routine of clearing and scavenging, she just changed up their usual dialogue to asking the "typical date questions. oh, you know! what's your favorite movie? your weirdest fear? the dumbest thing you spent far too much money on?" just a silly excuse to get to know some of the little, random things about each other that popped into their heads or that they'd been curious about for a while.

what was their first kiss like?

tentative and oddly gentle, maeve went for a slow approach in every aspect while testing the waters to see if her last few minutes of attempting to Seduce the bastard into a fwb arrangement had panned out. it was almost Immediately followed up by another kiss and some touching that bordered more along the lines of desperate and eager as they wanted to get to the fun bits, but it was still one of the first notable moments of maeve taking that first step for them and waiting to see if he’d follow suit.

were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

probably first relationship after the world went to shit, but in general nah they’ve both got some prior experiences.

what’s their height difference? age difference?

dietrich’s 5′10″ and maeve’s 5′0″. he’s in his early-to-mid 30s, she’s probably at the end of her 20s?? somewhere around there. who needs solid numbers anyway

what’s their relationship with each other’s families?

😔✌️ new fam found in the group, who dis??

who takes the lead in social situations?

100% maeve baybee. whether she’s talking circles around somebody to keep them distracted, trying to diffuse a situation or just comforting somebody through a difficult moment, we all been knew that maeve’s better suited for almost every kind of social situation. she’ll let him handle any of the ones that rely on intimidation tho, that’s all leitner right there

who gets jealous easier?

ohhhh, that’s another maeve claim. she has Zero reason to worry because dietrich is oblivious to so many attempts at flirtation from others, but it’s still a gut instinct in her to get a little ticked off seeing some rando trying to make moves on him. that’s Her bastard that she spent untold months charming the defenses away from, take a step back and show some respect.

LOVE —

who said “i love you” first?

everybody knows it was maeve, i hardly need to say it. we know she was the one brave enough to say it first, even if it Did take a scare of losing dietrich to tell him. they both already Knew, in that ways of theirs that they have where things are simply Understood between them without having to be mentioned aloud, but she needed him to hear it from her lips at least once. just in case

what are their primary love languages?

i’d say they’re both pretty big on quality time because of them both being naturally inclined to it and how they drifted into becoming partners for supply runs and other action, they spend so much time together it’d be Wild for it not to be their shared #1. not a single doubt in my mind that acts of service is dietrich’s other big one, while maeve’s kinda 50/50 on words of affirmation and physical touch being her runner-up.

how often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

i’ll out them on main for being cuddlers in bed or just generally when they’re Alone. they’re not very big on PDA as a result of dietrich’s whole “if there’s affection exchanged in public i Will learn how to teleport myself halfway across the planet to escape the embarrassment” deal and maeve respecting that. HOWEVER. it’s still maeve and she sneaks in little things when she can, like hand-holding or winding an arm around his waist while they walk. has been known to sneak in a quick kiss to the cheek if he’s sitting down and she can snatch it while he’s not anticipating it. i think hugs are The Most affection that people would frequently see from them in public ((aside from the soft expressions as they watch each other but those don’t count, don’t @ them about it)). the amount of times people in the group have seen them kiss in public can be counted on Maybe one hand if they’re lucky lmfao they keep that shit locked down

what are their favorite things to do together?

this question deserves to be banned from memes because it immediately erases all creative braincells from your mind. dietrich likes to watch maeve tell stories and she loves to ramble those stories, so that’s a win/win for them. sitting on rooftops to watch the sunrise/sunset together. going out of their way to look through any abandoned antique stores or book shops because they’re both Nerds and willing to put in the work of clearing them out so that they can browse. i imagine their favorite is reading together in some comfortable silence, whether that’s separately or with her curled up into him on a couch so they can read the same book. wait also i think maeve thoroughly enjoys any time they’re on watch together because it gives her the opportunity to freely Tease him (and also Gaze at him while he’s focused on the perimeter but that’s entirely too soft so don’t talk about that)

who’s better at comforting the other?

i don’t think either of them are particularly Better at it than the other?? purely because in the beginning, there’s a balance there between dietrich being reluctant to accept maeve’s comfort when she offers it & her taking a hot minute to understand his attempts at comfort. but then they reach that point where dietrich doesn’t tense up when she pulls him into a hug, and maeve finds the consolation she needs in his quiet assurances. on the surface it’d appear that maeve’s better at comforting dietrich purely because she’s more openly physical with her attempts, but the amount of security and solace that she finds in his words or touch means just as much.

who’s more protective?

dietrich takes it with this one. on top of his already there inclination to protect someone if they manage to get close with him, dietrich’s simply the one with better combat skills. maeve can? kinda?? handle herself, if the danger isn’t too pressing and she can find an opening to take advantage of, and she Does have some very strong protective instincts when it comes to dietrich, but he for sure comes out on top for this one. he has the stronger drive and better skills to back the protectiveness up.

do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical for both of them! a lot of their communication lies in the unspoken anyhow, it’s no surprise that most of their affection is expressed physically instead of verbally. dietrich’s preference coming from the fact that he might just actually implode on the spot if maeve showered him in too many compliments and expressions of love through words, and maeve’s from learning to appreciate and bask in the meaning and emotion behind the physical affection that he does engage in. also she’s just,, a slut for any kind of affection to begin with, but it’s definitely a whole Thing with being touched when there’s genuine care and love behind it instead of some other ulterior motive.

what are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

[sweats in Having An Entire Playlist Dedicated To Dummies In This AU]

sunlight by hozier — (video essayist voice) the conclusion: maeve is the sunlight to dietrich’s raincloud, thank you. the vibes for this one are just off the charts, lads. it’s about finding Warmth and Light in this love amidst the horrors of the world and in spite of the initial reluctance to let each other get close.

safe & sound by taylor swift — another one with vibes out of this world, this song is Top Tier for a big part of their dynamic in this verse, which is them finding safety and comfort in each other while the rest of the world goes to shit around them. everything may be going up in flames outside, but they know that they have each other and they’re not Alone in anything they do.

what kind of nicknames do they call each other?

maeve’s the queen of petnames, unfortunately for the easily flustered bastard. her favorites are naturally dear and darling, but she also enjoys an occasional use of lover. has called him baby once or twice just to get the reaction out of him. oh wait she also likes calling him an old man when he’s Like That and doesn’t get her references or grumbles too much.

i mean,, it’s dietrich, he uses Sommers more often than her fuckin’ first name and i don’t think he’s out here using petnames/nicknames on the reg At All, they’re opposite ends of the spectrum with this one. he called her sweetheart once to throw her off and it sent her out of wack for at least the entire rest of the day. so good on him, mission accomplished.

DOMESTIC LIFE —

if they get married, who proposes?

no marriage! dietrich’s not quite keen on it and maeve’s not the type to push him into anything he’s not comfortable with. if anything she might?? bring up the idea of rings if they ever come by some while out and about and they’ve been together for a hot minute, for the sentimental and sappy reason of having little reminders of each other to keep on their persons, but she’s not Insistent about it and is content with what they have.

how many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

no kids! world too scary, no thank you!! they’re also just Not in dietrich’s wheelhouse, which may have been a Problem for them if they weren’t in the midst of an actual fuckin’ apocalypse where nearly every day is a fight for survival and maeve can Clearly see every downside of bringing a baby into that.

do they have any pets?

don’t think so, but maeve’s probably made a whole Deal once or twice about leaving a little food for any dogs or cats they see along their treks because she has a soft heart.

who kills the bugs in the house?

dietrich!! he’s in charge of doing away with those Creatures because maeve will most certainly not be going anywhere near them if she can help it. which is,, pretty funny. you know considering their Big Picture circumstances. zombies? she’s fine with them after a point, only truly terrifying in medium-to-large numbers. a spider or cockroach skittering across the kitchen counter?? Horrifying! leitner do your job and protect your woman from the hellspawn

how do they celebrate holidays?

generally just by,, Acknowledging them?? at the very least. maeve has her entire Thing that is keeping track of the date with a day planner that she has had with her from the very beginning (though it’s been lost once or twice, always found its way back), but she doesn’t demand anything happen on holidays because they’re usually a bit Busy making sure they aren’t Dying to whatever’s threatening them that day. on the occasions where they have the free time, maeve insists they spend quiet time together without having to worry about any of their daily responsibilities and that’s holiday enough. maybe slips in a small tradition if applicable and not too over the top

who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

maeve is a very ;) persuasive woman ;)) it was more difficult and had a less frequent success rate back during the fwb days, but he’s completely fucked after they’ve been #confirmed. stands not a single chance to resist those eyes and the idea of lying in her arms for just a little while longer before they have to start their day.

who’s the better cook?

😔😔 dietrich by far. maeve couldn’t cook for shit before the apocalypse began when she had access to all sorts of appliances, recipes and helpful tutorials, there ain’t no way in hell she stands a chance at beating him Now. she’ll gladly take up other duties, but he’s their chef unless somebody else in the group has made a big dinner for everyone to share.

[peepingtoad]

OKAY SO. 

It’s not that often that I talk about what I really think about Jiraiya, and I guess I mean more how I feel about him, since I always try to write my ‘deeper’ headcanons/metas from a more... idk, trying not to get too emotional about it point of view. Basically it’s because I know how controversial he is, and I pretty much ritually avoid a lot of takes because I don’t want to get irritated about something that really doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme, because we’re all entitled to our opinions and I largely get my say through the act of writing and developing him how I see fit.

Which is enough for me, mostly, but for the purpose of reinforcing/building upon how I see my muse’s plight, working through some of my Sannin-feels and also to dip my toes into why I find blindly judgemental/single-faceted takes of him, his priorities and the Sannin’s bond so exasperating, I kinda feel like rambling my thoughts (feelings) anyway! 

Politely sticks this stream-of-consciousness mess under a cut.

So sometimes I do think about the fact that Jiraiya kinda, lmao, forgot about Everything Else in the world because of Orochimaru and his (frankly) obsession with him/them. And the fact that a ridiculously significant portion of bad shit that happened is down to his actions/inaction. And the fact that he really did go and leave the likes of Naruto (and maybe to a degree Kakashi, although there’s zero actual evidence he didn’t get involved given the strong indications of a great rapport in the canon), just because he was so hellbent on pursuing Orochimaru, who was not even shown to be affectionate towards him at the best of times. When I think about it in terms of Jiraiya being gone and the main reason we’re given for it, things suck for a number of people, and quite largely because of potentially unrequited/horribly communicated/obsessive JiraOro pursuits, in essence :’)

(And for all it’s still quite the rarepair, Jiraiya does express on accounts that he was destroyed when Oro left. I mean... this is the guy who rarely acknowledges his sadness so... It’s not my bias at all I sware)

Of course JiraTsu is very real in my eyes too, albeit a very different kinda tragic, as is OroTsu. And the messy poly ship? Ohohoho, even better, but... yeah. Tsunade does at least go her own way for a long time, as messed up as that is in itself, for reasons including the fact she seems to pointedly not heal or move on from her grief. And given the absolute debacle that was her and Jiraiya reuniting... and both her and Oro even discussing a possibility of sacrificing him... and just, them in general for that whole arc :’))) yeah. They are without a doubt messy and troubled, but even despite how fraught things become I genuinely think all the furtive expressions and the undercurrents of longing and the evasion of their past exhibits a history much deeper and full of lost love compared to many other team dynamics we get (otherwise the Three Way Divorce wouldn’t have been quite so horrible on them, would it? That and they’d probably have split up after Team Hiruzen was no more, if they really hated each other/just tolerated each other out of familiarity like I sometimes see speculated).

But yeah, back to our main man. Jiraiya’s intense (and frankly very Scorpio of him) love for our first series Big Bad kinda did ruin him and what he was setting out to do in some ways, to the degree that the actual story of Naruto wouldn’t be very much without him in terms of drama. I mean, he always loved a good story, right? So art imitates life, and innit just pathetic poetic.

And in so many ways it is incredibly tragic and pitiable that he’s Just Like That. Idealistic and warping everything terrible, no matter how bad, into adventure in his mind! As growth! As pain that makes you TOUGH and makes you a stronger man! As something to be pushed aside while you just keep on truckin’! Whatever anyone you love throws at you, it’s Totally Fine!

After so long narrating through his personal lens, I’ve come to realise he truly is so convinced that everything bad that happens, is sort of just... something he has to deal with and feel big and guilty and feelsy for while spinning it in ways that enable him to keep going. He just loads it on himself and sorta holds it. The fact he’s so sad and filled with sickly pining grief that he has to try and exorcise it with impulsive bouts of decadence? Fine. And it’s not abnormal at all, how he approaches things with such broad scope and just kinda... thoughtlessly wrecking-balls his way through everything he thinks is a great idea at the time. He experiences the fallout of these things and simultaneously feels the entire ravages of it acutely while compartmentalising it ever so neatly away. The crazy thing, too, is that he’s exceptionally convincing at making everything he does and how he handles things seem so grand and noble and romantic and tragic... but in a humorously self-deprecating and still ultimately very hopeful way, to the degree that I as a mun get caught up in his relentless optimism and forget he actually is a sad and heartbroken guy wrapped up in all this grandiosity.

Sometimes I do step back and look and I just think yeah, fuck, he really is a total disaster! He’s a walking disaster and he’s been so damaging to himself and others in so many ways, all because of acting on emotions and impulses without really thinking about the impact! He really did kinda give up on those who needed him and for what? A love that will never love him or prioritise him back? 

A wonderfully tragic theme that I do love with him, don’t get me wrong.

But then at the same time, there’s always more nuance to be had than just ‘he is a disaster and made bad choices, as tragic and romantic as it is, he was actually just selfish and kinda sucked in the end, pathetically whipped by his friends and unable to let go of what they had’. There’s more nuance to be had than reducing him to a purely romantically-inclined character, who just snubs everyone else for a doomed love... because in the end, I think a huge part of JiraOro’s demise in particular was that Oro felt immensely snubbed by Jiraiya when he stayed in Ame, when his loyalty to Konoha (as a place and people, not necessarily a system) and of course loyalty to his own ideals was prioritised over Oro.

To an extent, I feel like Tsunade could have been a similar case, were she not preoccupied with already having lost so much, and besides I really do think she and Jiraiya were quite firmly in best friend zone at that point. With Tsunade not being able to get comfortable around Jiraiya or to pursue any underlying affection for him because of the dumbass way he always behaved (understandably of her tbh), probably until she got with Dan, by which point I reckon Jiraiya started to really come through by showing how he valued her for her, where we see by them having each other’s backs so closely in the second war. Not to mention him generally respecting that his feelings for her have no place by the time he gets her back to Konoha.

In terms of that first split in Ame, Jiraiya, I feel, simply didn’t think him leaving was going to be a big deal, because the three were always fiercely headstrong people who had their own shit going on (simultaneously independent while also being, perhaps not to their knowledge, So Very Codependent). Not only that, but his overly affectionate ways and incessant jolliness were probably considered such a joke that he was basically like ‘they’ll be fine without me’. I certainly don’t think he felt needed by them, which I don’t think is their fault or a point of angst and ‘waaah poor blameless Jiraiya’, because quite honestly, the strain on their relationship was something I fully believe even he didn’t realise he needed out of at the time. His one-track mind was just on ‘save kids, teach kids, this is right, must seize opportunity to be the change I was told I’d be, not continue with this godforsaken war’

Selfish? Maybe. Well-intentioned? Certainly. Intended to hurt anyone or imply he stopped caring? No.

In essence, when it comes to why in the end Jiraiya seemed to be so horrendously bad at being around at the worst of times, at being responsible, whatever else (and I’m not even going to go into scenes intended to be comedic because, they are comedic)... I’ve got to look at it from more than just one view. It’s easy to say ‘he’s ridiculous and terrible because he pretty much flaked on what was important based on his whims/a doomed love/his dick’ (which I have seen said lmao) but there are so many other things at play here.

So I’m thinking, while he was shirking duties (godfatherly mainly)... did he actually consider that his most important duty? Was it anyone’s place to tell him it was? Minato didn’t, as I recall, and when he sacrificed himself he specifically left it to the Third because he (presumably) respected what his teacher was about and knew he wasn’t for staying put. Did Jiraiya not consider his primary duty to be to the prophecy, and in a more general sense fixing the big wrongs and trying to foil big dangers to his home? Were these things not pretty much what he existed for (as much as his faith wavered and went off the rails at times)? Was that not the main source of any real purpose he ever had, being a kid who showed practically no ambition before? Did he not pretty much redesign himself as being ‘from Mt. Myōboku’ rather than Konoha after two devastating wars, and thus is it not understandable for him not to focus solely on Konoha—not outright destroying it, still ultimately loyal to his home and not about to let anyone destroy it, but seeing that the world is in fact so much bigger than just his little town? Is that really something that’s so bad and wrong of him, in a story where the main cast’s country has a pretty fucking nasty system and is established to do so very early on? Is he not pretty revolutionary in his own brand of not blindly serving, but not going on a destroy-it-all frenzy either?

Also, was he not the only one who actually bothered to investigate Akatsuki and the forces that would see Naruto dead, in time? For all he did help bring Akatsuki into existence in ways, it was inevitable from before he even met the orphans that they were going to be groomed/moulded into what they became, regardless of whether Jiraiya came onto the scene. Jiraiya leaving them was just a different kind of suffering to what they were inevitably going to suffer anyway, and hell, with his influence at least there was a time where they might’ve stood a chance of going totally against Madara/Obito’s path, especially while Yahiko was still around. Jiraiya didn’t know that the whole thing with the Ame orphans was, by a design out of his control, doomed to end horribly. So while he felt personally responsible not knowing this, and it’s taken as a given that he was... actually, was he, when there was a master manipulator at play? Was it wrong to want to give some kids a chance?

With regards to all those things I see people say he should have stayed and fixed, that he should have been there, he should have done x y z... Is it not the responsibility of everyone not satisfied with their lot to step up to the plate and make where they live better? Jiraiya wasn’t the only adult. Tsunade, and I absolutely love her, does seem overwhelmingly to be absolved of leaving Konoha because... ??? Kicker is that she too is related to Naruto, of course. 

So... was she not also needed for the very material ways she could’ve helped at numerous points? Was she not also placing her grief and lost love before everything else? Are some reasons inherently more ok than others to ditch? As Kakashi’s generation grew up, was it not also then up to them to decide whether they’d change the status quo? Were Minato’s own generation, presumably his own peer group, not complicit in Naruto’s ostracisation? We got a slight taste of rebellion with Asuma, Hiruzen’s own son, but the fact is many Konoha-nin were overwhelmingly complacent with how things were. And yet never get demonised at all for it. Because it’s Jiraiya’s fault for... not staying and giving it all up to be a guardian who could well be depressed and unfit to raise a child... or just being a flaky as hell one that’s never there anyway because he has shit to do? (and in doing the former would let too many things go unchecked by a completely tuned-out Hokage, not gathering all that spicy useful intel, y’know... essentially he wouldn’t have ended up largely doing his job along with the personal shit in between).

Basically when I see claims saying that Jiraiya as an individual should have done pretty much everything better, and somehow been there for everyone that needed him at any given time, and that (mostly Naruto’s) suffering was a failing on Just His part because of his selfish whims... I feel like the point of his tragedy is absolutely missed. That tragedy being that barrelling through things alone is definitely a failing and harmful in numerous ways, as we see with Itachi shouldering everything alone too, and we see them both miss out on Naruto and Sasuke as a result... but at the same time, is just settling down and leaving everything else to chance not also a huge failing, when there are so many other circumstances and enemies acting against you, when you do have the power to change tides, and when so many other people refuse to or can’t seize their own agency? Jiraiya does put his faith in a lot of people too, and a lot of people fail. Don’t fail him, but in a general sense many, like Minato, fail to make the change they wanted to. That’s life in this world, it’s tragic, and after losing a lot of loved ones yeah, he retreats and goes at it alone. 

But how can he win? How does he do what’s right, other than by chasing what he thinks he can do to actually help the world, which happens to be bigger and not centred on individuals, even those he cares about?

(and remember, nobody knows Naruto is special-reincarnation-prophecy-boi, which is why I tend not to blame-game any characters for him being treated like so many orphans were because... while it’s not morally right or nice at all, it’s tone deaf to how the world is, to the fact all characters having different degrees of knowledge and priorities, and it’s insensitive of the fact most the characters had their own struggles and were just doing their best with a bad lot gdi). 

Hell though, Jiraiya even does put Oro, his big obsessive wild goose chase that whisks him away into selfish pining hopelessly devoted land, on the back burner at points. Maybe not in a lasting way, particularly by the last databook where he’s inspired anew by Naruto, but he does prioritise other shit on numerous occasions. And there’s a lot of shit to try and prioritise.

What I’m trying to say is, Jiraiya can’t solely be held responsible for people. Sure, he’s a character whose decisions were pivotal to events, but what of every other character in the story? Why are they not held to the same crazy high standard of doing and protecting and preventing and somehow doing everything ‘right’ that would have also meant him fitting neatly into the Konoha mould? Would other characters really have been that much better in the position of The Big Guide/Martyr/Tragic Hero/Force For Change character? And also is having a tragic Chaotic Good bastard of a hero not a sign of a damn good and interesting character, that at the very least tried where so many others didn’t? Would Naruto not have been a boring as hell story, whose main protag didn’t really have much conflict to make him compelling, without Jiraiya (among others) being a mess with the best intentions? Without so many other characters having failed him, for him to overcome it and still be able to love and inspire change (albeit through sometimes-clumsy talk-no-jutsu)? Was I missing the point of the story?

............. Hmm!

No longer sure where else I’m going with this now, so.... here, I guess, ends my ode to why character hate (especially that reduces them to One Thing) is dumb, why demonising truly well-meaning characters doesn’t feel particularly woke to me in a cast full of flawed characters and horrible circumstance, and why I’ll defend this poor bastard with far too damn much hinging on him to the end I guess :’)

TL;DR HE’S A DUMBASS AND HE TRIED, OKAY?!

[stonerspock]

hiiii 3, 10, 13, 14 and 23 please 😌💚

3. If you could be a character for one day who would you choose and why?I’m definitely inclined to say Guinan because i simply LOVE her and I think a day in her shoes would be fun no matter what I’m doing… It would be fun to just hang out in ten forward and talk to different people. But I’d also want to tap into her mysterious past and go meet with really cool people around the galaxy that she knows. OR to fence with picard would totally be worth it. 

alternatively, i think it would be fun to be Odo and just mess around with the shapeshifting like fuck it. vanilla extract on the wall <3 

10. Headcanons on a character 

I have headcanons on essentially every character lol. I mean in terms of being LGBT i hc pretty much everyone (except obr**n) as being in thee Community, and I think most of my HCs there are usually popular opinions. 

Here’s one I have: Guinan and Q were romantically involved in the past BUT at a time where Q was appearing as a woman (because I hc Guinan as a lesbian lol). I headcanon the version of Q we see interacting with Picard 100% as a gay man BUT i think that as a Q he would technically be bisexual/cannot be accurately defined in human concepts of sexuality. But in the same way the Q can appear physically in any form, I like to think that they can appear in the form of a human with a specific sexual orientation (since that also may impact their gender presentation!). So I like to imagine that when Guinan and Q were involved, it was the same being that we know as Q but at that time as a woman. And that definitely ended in a dramatic break-up that we clearly see the repercussions of in TNG haha. 

13. What's an aspect of the fandom, series that resonates with you? 

Simply put: the optimistic vision of the future that has a genuine belief in humanity to tap into goodness and fix the broken world we’ve created. I love love the notion of “infinite diversity in infinite combinations.” I think star trek is genuinely a socialist dream lol. I just love the vision of a future that has abolished capitalism, poverty, and money and that prioritizes and values unity among not only all humans but different alien species too! And the value of improving ourselves through knowledge and our relationships with others, rather than being driven by profit. 

14. If you could write an episode or book on the series what characters would you pick and what would be the plotline?

Ok I’m actually so glad you asked this because i have an immediate answer… There is SO much potential Saavik content. In the novelizations for Wrath of Khan and Search for Spock, we find out more about Saavik’s past, her being half-romulan and half-vulcan and raised in horrible conditions from which she was eventually saved by Spock. They flesh out her own thoughts on being half-romulan and how she’ll never know her birth parents because (presumably) her vulcan parent was killed by the romulan parent, and there is no way to identify them. I envision an epic story about her after we see her left on Vulcan in the beginning of TVH where she goes on a journey to learn more about her past and then ultimately has to encounter Romulans and struggle with the romulan part of her identity but she ultimately chooses the peaceful and logical vulcan values she learned from spock. I also would LOVE more content exploring Spock’s relationship with Saavik as a father figure. I honestly might have to start writing fic lol 

23. Who do you ship yourself with? 

saavik (search for spock version is my girl lol), ensign ro 🥵🥵, jadzia, kira. i’ve had my fantasies about troi, dr crusher, guinan, even milf icon lwaxana troi… i love most of the women on star trek lol 

[og-danny-dorito]

Hancock SFW Headcanons To Satiate My Undying Thirst for This Raisin

this is dedicated to all of my 12 year old monster/humanoid obsessions, and to the ones which may follow such as this mans, John Hancock, the mayor of Goodneighbor. because I'll be damned if I see a ghoul and don't become immediately attracted to them. also these weren't requested, but @thatwolfnamednyla​ seemed interested so i'll tag them (i can remove the tag too if you want me to, just let me know).

<---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

S F W :

- ok so, I’m gonna start off with physical headcanons because it’s easier for me to base everything off of that 

- since most of the heights in the game are the same and they don’t really give any actual canon heights for them, I’d say that he’s about 5”5 because I love the imagine of a short man with a knife. like-

- yeah he’s definitely powerful and strong willed and mental the opposite of a short baby man, but like can you just imagine some dude walking up to you and having to look up at you because he’s small? Especially a high af ghoul man small boy? an artistic virtue

- that, and he’s generally the most crackhead out of all the companions 

- like he’s the guy to go to if you’re itching to bust out some chems and go shoot at random shit in the middle of the night cause he’s just that kinda dude 

- he lives for the thrill of things, and so obviously someone equally as crackhead as he is would fit him perfectly, but for the sake of actual relationship building I’d say that he’s better fit with a rational crackhead 

- like yeah, going out and getting yourself fucked up is great, but like not to the point of getting yourself so fucked up beyond repair, yknow? someone who takes a second and a half to think his crazy ass ideas through and THEN do it with him is the best person for the job as his metaphorical babysitter 

- and he really likes to be taken care of because he’s a sucker for that shit. I would say that he has a daddy/mommy kink but like these aren’t nsfw and so I’m not gonna bust out that nasty shit just yet 

- that said, being his partner doesn’t have very specific guidelines. being pansexual AND polyamorous allows him to love freely as he was genetically destined to anyway 

- seriously, he’s attracted to you if you say something nice to him and show a little bit of interest that’s just how it is. he doesnt really think of appearances unless he's only out for dick

- he doesn’t really have a specific type either??? but he finds timid and nervous people so fucking cute. like,,, if you keep apologizing because of small things he’ll ruffle your hair and start calling you ‘kid’ and ‘sweetie’ cause honestly it’s just so sweet to see you get all nervous and shy 

- it literally makes him want to fistfight someone in an abandoned parking lot for you and he can't help his protectionist ways

- like he likes to be taken care of yeah, but he ends up setting y’all in the ‘give some get some’ scenario where it’s more of a partnership 

- jokingly calls you ‘smoothskin’ even if your skin isn’t smooth like you’re scarred or something. it cracks him up because he does it in a smoker voice too but he already sounds like a smoker so he ends up coughing a little bit after in between laughs 

- biggest goofball on the planet 

- will literally play pranks on you because he finds it funny, like using makeshift pre-war whoopee cushion and shit like that. will also 100% love it if you prank him back. he doesn’t take much seriously and so any form of mild joking makes him genuinely happy 

- if you’re inclined to more permanent relationships however, this could become an issue. not the whole whoopee cushion thing the seriousness thing

- just because he does sleep with other people and lowkey tell you all the time about how “That raider was packin, and I don’t mean to be a whore but honestly like if he wanted some he could get some.”, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. it’s just that it’s normal for him to be attracted to other people at the same time. it can be more than one person at once, which can sometimes be a problem if more traditional people not cool with it 

- confronting him about it either to confirm it negatively or positively depends on your preference. he didn’t really think of this as permanent in the first place, more of a friends with benefits situation where you also benefit each other with extreme emotional support, and so you wanting to make it serious will trigger his fear of commitment 

- therefore, if you’re not okay with it he may have a hard time adapting, but if he’s really grown on you then he can try to be better about it. he won’t make the one he loves uncomfortable without their permission, but he’ll try his best to explain it (the best that he can doesn't necessarily that he’ll do it well though) 

- if you’re alright with it then he will most likely bring up the topic of either threesomes/poly-somes and/or adding someone else to your romantic stuff or something like that if either of areyou is interested. communication is key in this sort of thing, and so he’ll almost always go to you before like trying to initiate anything with someone after talking with them and you about the situation 

- oh did I mention fear of commitment? Cause I’m about to get real angsty 

- MAN does he have an issue with it. not only that, but the reason he doesn’t really view this thing as permanent is because he’s fairly certain he’ll outlive you. he's terrified of loosing you one day and then not knowing what the he'll to do with himself for the rest of his life. he’s scared of being tied down it totally goes against his whole thing of freedom, and since he’s already conflicted about anarchy and order he literally avoids thinking about settling down with anyone or anything 

- he’s holding onto a past that brought him joy then, but could ruin him now. and the best way to deal with that is to try to get through it as best as you can and leave the past behind, but he still finds himself reminiscing about things that could’ve happened 

- it keeps him up sometimes, thinking about it. he’ll lay flat on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling for hours at a time just... thinking. and only when he’s lightly pressed about it will he say something, and even then it seems more like he’s struggling to find the words. It’s weird how he can talk to goodneighbor’s citizens like it’s nothing, but talking about himself gets him all choked up 

- he would very much like it if you just like, kissed his face or hold his hand sometimes. to him it speaks more than a thousand words, and if he’s really having a hard time it means everything for you to be there for him 

- that, and with the fact that you’re his best friend means that you’re his ride or die partner in crime 

- just sitting around and doing chems with you and getting all philosophical or doing dumb shit is pretty much all he needs to be satisfied with you, and he really likes hearing you talk about pre-war society 

- whether your views are negative or positive, he likes hearing about the way things used to work. he likes your stories about how you grew up and how you came to be who you are today, and a lot of the time he finds himself asking you about something he doesn’t know because you’re technically the ultimate source of knowledge on that stiff by this point 

- you’d have to assure him that you didn’t know everything and no, you had no idea what year that random object he found was made, but he likes it anyway. you pique his interest, and just sharing a few mindset traits with you makes him feel much more secure and like you’ve got something that matters to the both of you 

- that, and he thinks you’re the coolest motherfucker on the planet 

- he’d probably be more attracted to free spirits, those who hold a strong moral code and defend it like it’s their lifeline. obviously he has a wide range of romantic and causal interest guidelines, but that’s the key point there. Someone who stands for what they believe in and protects those around them 

- and NOW for my favorite part, miscellaneous headcanons ; 

he’s probably the most openly sexual out of all the companions besides Gage, but tbh gage isn't down to walk naked through commonwealth and he is so obviously he’s the most freaky 

he’s more himbo oriented, although with this chart done originally by @cockneydio​

I can tell you that he’s this 👌 close to being a feral himbo and is probably turned on by danger so you can already tell what kinda bitch he is 

he likes to give you his jacket when you’re cold or he just feels like it and it usually smells like cigarettes and gunpowder 

thinks that pastel colors and soft clothes are kind of cute on people for some reason 

is a sucker for pda, might die if you kiss on his neck or tell him he looks nice that day while you’re in public. Also super into just randomly slapping your ass because he finds it hilarious (slapping his ass in turn earns you a flirty comment and a mildly turned on raisin man) 

loves receiving gifts from you and equally as much giving them, which is commonly just cool little things he’s found and thought you would like 

makes cheesy pick up lines all the time and you can’t change my mind 

would die for pet names, given or received. like yes call him “honey” and “sugar” he will MELT he's just a big nerd

he's kinda self conscious about himself around you, but likes phsycial contact too much to deny himself of it so he's literally always attached to you and/or on top of you if he can help it

- hancock isn’t feral, but he sure does act like it sometimes. what he needs is someone who can balance him out and give him the space when he needs it, and who genuinely cares about he people around them regardless of who or what they are. just being there for him on the bad days means the world to him, and he wouldn’t give what y'all have up for all the caps and chems in the world

[aro-culture-is]

1)I'm aro & even tho I came to know about that term just recently I've alys had the 'aro' personality & those who know me knows it. I'm 23 & never been in a relation. I'm also introvert so I don't really have close friends & i don't desire other's company whether romantic or not. When I was 14 I had this guy frn & I guess we were pretty close. I stopped talking to him over some argument about he wanting me to be his gf. I wasn't planning on not speaking with him forever but he died a week later

2)So since I'm in 20s and suddenly everythings about finding the missing piece crap I always get pressured into seeking it. I tell my mom time and again that it's not for me but she keeps pointing out that I'm shy introvert and I don't know what I'm missing and the story of that guy. I honestly don't have much memory of him now but she tells me that I was devastated and she was worried sick for me cause she thought he was my bf. So now I'm confused and try to look at myself w/o those things

3) but I can't. I don't know if I need therapy and this aromantic is sth in me that can be fixed. I don't mean to degrade the word. And I don't know if I want it fixed even if it's fixable. I don't know how to answer to my mom bringing up possible trauma that may be possible for me being aro. There has to be other people with similar situation. What is on the other side?

4) sorry this this getting too long but I want to add about how he died to get a gist of how fucked up it was. I used to help him with studies and we often had extra classes where I used to go with him insisting that he go since he had difficulty getting decent grades. That day I didn't call him as I said I wasn't talking with him. He had gone for swimming when we had class. He drowned in a river nearby. It was never known if it was accidental or not.

--

TWs: trauma, implied suicide (as a possibility), internalized arophobia

okay... so, i’m going to preface this with the fact that regardless of the aromantic side of things, the language that you used throughout this would make me inclined to suggest therapy regardless. i’m not a professional, i’m just a 20yo who’s seen a lot of the growth of the aro community on tumblr over the last 7 years.

the reason i’m saying this is specifically that you mention “i guess we were pretty close”, “don’t have much memory of him now”, etc., especially paralleled with how you keep mentioning that you’re getting info about this from your mother. again, i’m not a professional, but that speaks to me of a traumatic situation (aka: something that you were not emotionally capable of processing when it happened) in which you either didn’t form memories well (a stress response, but this seems unusually severe in my limited understanding) or possibly have repressed it to some degree. both are totally normal responses, but nonetheless it might help to speak to a qualified professional about your experience with this if it’s distressing you enough to ask me, a random internet blog, about it in this detail.

additionally, in all honesty, i’m concerned that your only source of info seems to be your mother. while i’ll say in full disclosure that my view is impacted by my own (shitty) relationship with my mother, many parents want their children to lead what they picture to be a perfect life, to the point of causing damage in their attempts to mold their children into those lives. if this specifically is only being brought up when you talk about being aro / in conjunction with conversations about dating, that would lead me to suspect this is the case.

with regards to the aromantic side of this ask:

1) being aromantic is first and foremost about attraction. if you don’t think you’ve ever, or rarely, felt romantic attraction? you’re aro. you don’t have to claim the label if you don’t want to, but I think in your case it sounds like you do want to.

2) with ppl assuming that you were dating someone especially when you were 14, i’d disregard anything they say. at least in USA culture, mothers especially are poor judges of who is and is not dating in my experience, and typically assume any friends who happen to be a guy and a girl must actually be dating. literally it’s so rare for parents, especially mothers in this culture not to assume that that i actually cannot think of a person who i know who didn’t have their parents make that assumption at least once when it wasn’t true.

3) the relationship between aromanticism and trauma is often personal. ppl who have experienced trauma that they believe caused them to be aro are still aromantic if they chose to label themselves such, and it is directly unhealthy to take that control away from a trauma victim. while again, i am not a professional, i was given basic training about how best to support a victim of trauma, and the number one thing is that you must give them the reigns. they ultimately must have power over what happens to them. empowerment is extremely important.

that said: studies do find that the average alloromantic person experiences their first crushes around the age of 10. if you personally don’t recall having had any crushes before this experience, I wouldn’t be quick to describe your aromanticism as stemming from trauma. if you did have crushes, but you recall picking a person to have a crush on, that’s not what an alloromantic person calls a crush, that’s what an aromantic person who is trying to fit in calls a crush. so. there’s that to think about.

4) from the last point: “curing” aromanticism. if and only if your lack of attraction stems from trauma do i believe there is a chance that therapy could help to unlock any form of attraction you used to have. in all honesty, though, I would strongly advise that if you do believe this is the correct course of action for you, you cannot go into this with a therapist who isn’t respectful of queer identities. you cannot go into this with the expectation that everything will “return to normal”. trauma is complex. therapists with no knowledge of aromanticism could easily do harm simply because they aren’t familiar with the fact that people who don’t experience romantic attraction can live fulfilling lives.

--

this ask is complex. i’m really hoping i’ve answered it the best i can, but ultimately, all i can do is say this:

i’m sorry that you experienced this. what happened was not your fault, and you deserve to be able to move forwards with your life regardless and feel content with your life.

for as long as you want it, the label aromantic is yours to claim. no one can take that from you. sometimes, well-meaning people may try, because they don’t know better than to assume it is harming you. that does not mean that they know you better than you know yourself.

trauma is complicated, and healing from it can feel daunting. however, therapy can help you process what happened then, what is happening now, and come to a conclusion about how best to move forwards. it sounds to me like you harbor a feeling of guilt about a situation that, no matter what, was not your fault. accident or not, anyone who tries to imply that it was your fault is wrong. i know that my words as a stranger might not carry much weight, but if nothing else I want you to know that you are allowed to stop carrying this weight.

this ask is complex because in all honesty? i don’t think is about aromanticism. as someone who is currently in therapy, and who regularly discusses my own trauma with my therapist, i’m reading a lot of the same types of feeling i’m currently confronting in your ask.

best wishes

[pavcrti]

chicago’s very own pavarti kumari has been spotted on madison avenue driving a rose gold model x , welcome ! your resemblance to mishti rahman is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty fifth  birthday bash .  your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re fiery , but being eloquent might help you . i think being a pieces explains that .  3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be fresh fields of lavender that expand into a cotton candy sky , the reflection of the sun caught in the glimmer of a crystal , rhyming couplets professing deep - seeded emotion . ( i ghost write songs for artists who like to claim they write their own work . ) & ( cis female + she / her  ) +  ( emily , 25 , sher / her , pst )

holy shit , it’s ya girl . i’m back after needing a bit of a break from being in a group . and bc i honestly adored this place sm and i made so many great friends here i am back . . . 👀 i expect plots with each and every one of u btw so u best deliver . i desperately wanna get this finished before i pass the fuck out . i’ll be joining the server in the morning , but in the meantime if u wanna be my friend  👀 👀 titsiana praises satan#7989

    biography .

name : pavarti kumari 

age : twenty five

gender : cisfemale

zodiac : pieces 

sexuality : bisexual 

profession : singer / songwriter 

hair color : black

eye color : brown

piercings : both lobes , nose 

tattoos : none

voice claim : jhene aiko

released albums : sail out ( ep ) , trip 

miss pavarti was born in bangladesh . her parents are both 100% bangladeshi and immigrated to chicago when pavarti was four years old . she had an older brother who was five years older than her . his name was siva .her family traveled back every summer so she is very immersed in the culture of her homeland and is a very spiritual person as a result . from a young age , pavarti had a fascination with the english language . not only was it so complex , but there was so much that could be done with it as well . she loved poetry and different types of prose . she also developed an absolute adoration for hip hop as a result . she’s been able to work several of her lyrical inspirations in her albums , something she would’ve never anticipated growing up as an immigrant child . when she entered middle school , she joined the school choir as an extra curricular activity which is what inspired her love for music and introduced her to her vocal talents . within time , she began combining her inclination for poetry with her voice . she wrote her first song at thirteen and began to freestyle for her friends . unfortunately , she was never taken too seriously by her peers . she was a female , hardly the usual suspect for the rnb , soul vibe that her voice conveys . before she graduated high school , her brother siva was killed in a car crash . the unexpected death of her best friend and protector sent pavarti into a spiral . this begun her tendency to alter her reality to escape from her pain with the help of drugs . she frequently writes about her brother in her music . when she was eighteen , she was discovered , ironically , by a manager of a local rapper at a poetry slam she was performing at . she impressed him and he introduced her to his client . this is how pavarti entered the hip hop scene , albeit , in secret . in hip hop , it’s very custom for performers to write the tracks that they put out themselves . pavarti learned that she could learn the skills of the trade whilst making her own connections and making pretty good cash , as well . as the years progressed , the notoriety of her clients rose . she’s written bars for multiple big names and by harvesting these friendships , she was able to get signed to a record label and put out her first ep at age twenty one . it was well received by critics and pavarti was thrilled to be taken seriously as an artist doing what she loves . she kept working , kept her nose in her business and released her first full album , trip , just last year . she feels like she is constantly growing artistically and finds herself inspired everywhere she turns . she’s currently working on her second full album and just dropped a new single , p*$$y fairy . other than that , there’s not too much else to note in her history . she did not grow up rich , rather she’s only recently come into wealth . her money is very new and she’s not too skilled at spending it wisely .

    personality . 

okay , so this will probably just be a long winded explanation that no one really asked for / needed but here we go ! first and foremost . . . pavarti is a dreamer in every sense of the word . she’s whimsical , she’s connected to the earth around her . she drifts off into elaborate day dreams and tells herself stories in her head as she falls to sleep . she is very spiritual . she meditates twice a day . her house always smells of incense . she has an affinity for weed and hallucinogenics . she really enjoys writing under the influence . her album trip is literally inspired by several drug experiences she had that had a profound impact in her life . pavarti’s general demeanor is borderline wall - flower . you wouldn’t expect her to be so shy , but she is . she’s the giggly girl who’ll hang back and let someone else come to her first . in the meantime , she’s taking in every single detail . she’s incredibly observant . sometimes she thinks in poetry . she realizes that she isn’t the typical visual for a female hip hop , rnb artist but it’s truly her passion in life and her art flows through her . she says more in her songs than she does to the people she needs to and that can definitely be problematic . with that said , pavarti is very well spoken . girl knows how to sweet talk her way through just about anything . but she also has the temper of a devil . she does not tolerate being fucked around with . she has that attitude about her where she will go and key your car if you hurt her or one of her best friends . people typically wouldn’t expect such an explosion from someone so outwardly sanguine and easy going but she’s the type to scratch someone’s eyes out if she has to . her music is her spouse . this fucks her up relationship wise a lot because she tends to let chances pass her by because she would rather stay undistracted . she has an ego , but not really in the outward way that one would anticipate when ego is involved . she knows she’s talented . she knows she’s attractive . but she also knows that she’s fucking lucky to be where she is and she’s grateful . pavarti is the type who wakes up with a smile because she has another twenty four hours to be alive . she doesn’t take things for granted --- she used to , until she lost her older brother and she realized just how quickly things can change . pavarti is a fiercely loyal individual to her friends . she will stand up for them , no matter what . the thing is , she expects it back . she is very much aware of her self worth and does not react kindly to a one sided vibe . 

    plots . 

ok , ok , ok . . . so how i am going to do this is offer up some songs / song pairings for songs that i believe pavarti has written for specific people with certain plots in mind for at least her side of things . and then i will also list some basic plots that aren’t based on anything in particular , but are still plots that i would like very much to have ! the links go to lyrics ! all plots are gender neutral , so ignore any pronouns that are in the songs .

bed peace / stay ready / while we’re young --- fwbs with feelings : pavarti and your muse have been friends for a while . somewhere along the line things crossed the line and they began hooking up . it’s obvious that they feel something intense for each other but something is always in the way of them being together --- plus , neither are really sure if the friendship could withstand a romantic relationship crashing and burning . so here they are , stuck in this awkward limbo . they hook up , hang out , awkwardly third wheel when the other is dating someone else . it’s an interesting dynamic and pavarti wouldn’t deal with drama with anyone else but your muse . they have a really compelling bond and neither can think of life without the other but things have been like this for a long time and there is only so long a relationship as complicated as this one could actually function .

the worst / comfort inn ending / moments / when we love --- exes that ended badly with lingering feelings : this was . . . just a crazy hot and cold relationship . when it was hot , it was fucking hot . when it was cold ? damn . hell itself could freeze over . they probably have done and said a lot of nasty , nasty shit to each other . at the same time , they could’ve been literally planning their wedding at some point because they both were incredibly serious about each other . in comfort inn ending , pavarti suggests their relationship was a result of her cheating on another boyfriend to be with your muse and your muse ultimately cheated on her as well . we can discuss that but i would high key kill for the extra drama . around the time pavarti was writing her first full album , they had a rekindling that inspired her to write moments and when we love . i don’t envision this relationship having ended in a decent way from there , though . more cheating ? fighting ? they were definitely toxic . she’s definitely planning on dragging their ass some more in her tracks .

lsd / sativa --- platonic soulmates : omg so this plot is . . . so fucking cute . but these two would basically die for each other . there is zero sexual attraction , just genuine , pure love . they do everything together . but what really sealed their bond ? well . . . many different intense acid trips , of course ! they love to get high together and forget about the world . they both feel like they can trust the other because they have been present for so many life - changing moments . they rarely go a day without seeing each other and absolutely never go a day without talking in some capacity . sometimes they fight like siblings . but pavarti would honestly kill for your muse . there is nothing she wouldn’t do for them . 

new balance / newer balance / you are here / clear my mind --- the romantic bad influence : this plot is another messy piece of trash . from the beginning , when they first met , pavarti always thought your muse was too good to be true . they reminded her so much of her brother . she felt this sense of peace with your muse . she fell in love quickly but at the same time , felt like there was something looming over their relationship . like it wasn’t permanent . like it’s all just a dream . the bad influence part isn’t portrayed too much in the lyrics other than stressing pavarti’s fear that your muse isn’t exactly who they say they are and this relationship is doomed to fail somehow . she knows that when this explodes in her face that it’s going to destroy her . i see your muse bringing out edgier sides of pavarti’s personality . they party a lot , they influence pavarti to do crazy things with them and she does and she feels so alive with your muse . that is , until , it all crumbles . the facade is destroyed and whatever it was that your muse wasn’t being upfront about shatters the way she feels for your muse entirely . she feels betrayed . clear my mind is pavarti’s way of trying to hype herself up to be stronger than she really is . 

never call me / --- best friends turned enemies : this is my last long one i promise , wtf , why did i decide to do this . anyways --- this plot is again , a shit ton of angst so enjoy that . your muse and pavarti used to be the best of friends . inseparable . that is until things went south . fast . we can discuss what it was that happened between our muses but it was something huge and preferably something where they both could stubbornly blame each other . pavarti feels slighted because she thinks that your muse should be the one who reaches out and perhaps your muses could be thinking the same about her . 

romantic plots : crushes , unrequited love , hateship , party hookup , friends with benefits , secret fling , summer romance 

platonic plots : give me close friends ! and tons of them please ! thanks . roommates , drug buddies , confidants , unlikely friendship , travel friends , only friends in the dms , enemies turned friend

[jckelly]

updated intro / 25/09/20

Is that JACK FIELDING? Wow, they do look a lot like VAN MCCANN. I hear HE is an NINETEEN year old FRESHMEN who are studying AEROSPACE ENGINEERING  at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be PHILOPHOBIC and INSINCERE, but on the bright side they can also be WITTY and IMAGINATIVE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself. [YUNI, 20, GMT, SHE/HER]

hello to anyone who has yet 2 be cursed w my presence in their dms, i am yuni and this is  an updated intro for my demon boi jack! this one is a lilll bit more in depth but not to worry there is a tl;dr at the end ion expect u to read this. feel free to dm me if you would like to plot!

01: BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Jackson Noel Fielding (previously Kelly; recently changed)

Nicknames: Jack - he dislikes the use of his full first name, and only really answers to Jack, unless joking around with Caitriona. 

Date Of Birth: December 4, 2001 (currently aged 19)

Zodiac: Sagittarius sun, Leo ascendant, and Aries moon. 

Place Of Birth: Northern General Hospital, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England. 

Nationality: Dual UK and US citizenship; he was born and raised in England so was a UK citizen from birth, and acquired US citizenship through his American adopted mother after being formally adopted in 2017. 

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual 

Course: Aerospace Engineering (Freshman)

02: PHYSICAL

Faceclaim: Van McCann 

Voiceclaim: Also Van McCann (but w ... not a Welsh accent LOL think Northern)

Ethnicity: White (English, Irish, Scottish)

Height: 173cm (5′8)

Weight: 52kg (115lbs) / BMI 17.4

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Brown

Distinctive Features: Freckles (many), ear piercings (one hoop in his left ear), scars on his wrists which he hides with long sleeved shirts. 

Clothing Preference: Jack really only wears black, or something close to black like grey. He usually opts for simple clothes, just jeans and long sleeved shirts, and beat up black converse. His Sheffield United hoodie makes an appearance more often than not, because he has a ridiculous amount of hometown pride. 

03: PERSONALITY

Overview

Positive Traits: Witty, imaginative, perseverant, passionate

Negative Traits: Philophobic, disloyal, insincere, callous

MBTI: ENTP

Religious Beliefs: Atheist 

Description

The first side most people see of Jack is the side he wants you to see. A total asshole. It’s not an exaggeration - he’s pretty much infamous for flirting with everyone, dating anyone and as a serial cheater. He’ll actively try to worm his way into your life, and then just when you start to care, he does something to hurt you. He’s strangely persistent, probably helping him to push people even further, until they snap. There is nothing which satisfies him more than managing to wind people up to the extreme, get them to the point where they give up. Adopted parents, friends, nobody is immune to this side - he even tries it on the people he genuinely cares about, as if just to see if he’ll still be able to push them away.

The second side, which most people don’t see, is that at heart Jack is a kid. He’s the type of person to ask if owls have ears at 3am, or get some childlike joy out of dumb jokes. Of course, this is the side nobody but a very small number of people see. And even if you do see it, it never lasts long. He keeps his true personality under wraps even amongst those he does like, and it only slips out if he’s extremely comfortable with you. Otherwise, he’ll go straight back to being a sarcastic, flirty piece of shit.

04: PAST

Biography: 

Jackson Kelly was born in a council estate in Sheffield, South Yorkshire, in the UK. His life prior to adoption is not something he routinely talks about, but that’s mostly because he’d rather not give people reasons to pity him: his mother, 15 when she gave birth to him, was a drug addict; he has no idea who his birth father is or was, and no inclination to find out. Jack’s first ten years of life pretty much fell into the same cycle: get put into foster care, his mother would get clean and take him back, and then the cycle would repeat. But when the cycle ended when he was ten, and he was removed from his mother’s care for good, he wasn’t ready for it to end yet.

Sure, she wasn’t the best parent. But she was his mother. Jack quickly developed a reputation for running away, always found back at the same place. Foster parent after foster parent always ended up returning him, unable to cope with his rebellious tendencies and the constant hunt for him after he had run. As he aged, he only became better at avoiding being found. It practically became a game to him, a way for him to entertain himself. So when a wealthy American heiress and her British CEO husband decided that  of all people, they wanted to foster a now thirteen year old Jack, social workers almost wanted to ask if they’d misspoke. (Jack had assumed it was a practical joke.)

Claire and George, his new “parents,” were patient. They said he didn’t have to call them mum or dad, that even after they officially adopted him two years later he could keep his own surname, that they just wanted him to be happy. They moved him to a better school, got a private tutor to make up for lost time, tried to take an interest in his favourite things. But that wasn’t enough for Jack. Eventually, the situation resulted in drastic measures: a rainy afternoon with a social worker being told that Claire wanted to move the family to her birthplace of New York, and send Jack to the school she had attended many years prior. A fresh start would be better for him, they said. As if Jack didn’t know the real reason. He couldn’t run away if he was thousands of miles away.

And that was how a fifteen year old Jack made his way to Carnifex, with absolutely no change to his desire to wreak havoc or to his somewhat disturbing attitude towards other people. Therapists paid for by his adopted parents might say he was pushing people away to manifest emotions about neglect in early life; Jack would just say that he was keeping things interesting. Either way, the next couple years of his life escaped past him, and before he knew it he was in a school office, being told that his birth mother had died.

Obviously, Claire and George freaked, as if he would do anything. Pulled him out of school for a month, flew him back to England for the funeral, and practically wrapped Jack in bubble wrap like he was a baby or something. All he wanted to do was go back to school, ignore the guilt he felt in his stomach for letting them take him away, and go back to what he did best.

Timeline: 

December 4 2001 - Jackson Noel Kelly is born in Sheffield.

2005 - Jack is removed from his mother’s care for the first time. He is frequently removed from her care and then placed back in it for the next seven years of his life. 

2012 - Jack is removed from his mother’s custody permanently and placed in a temporary foster home. He bounces through foster homes for the next few years, including one where he meets Caitriona and becomes close with her. 

2014 - Jack is fostered by Claire and George. He resists any attempt for them to get close to him, and continues to act out. 

December 2016 - Jack is legally adopted by Claire and George, acquiring US citizenship, although he does not change his surname. 

January 2017 - Jack attempts suicide. He is placed in therapy and plans are made for his relocation to the US. 

March 2017 - Claire and George move back to America, taking Jack with them. He begins attending Carnifex. He continues to visit the UK regularly to visit his birth mother, who he keeps in contact with. 

April 2020 - Jack’s birth mother dies. He immediately disappears from school for a month, without telling anyone where he went. 

May 2020 - Jack returns to Luxor. It’s later accidentally blurted out mid fight with Zander that his mother is dead. 

June 2020 - Jack graduates and Leo tells the school Jack attempted suicide. 

September 2020 - Jack legally changes his surname from his birth name - Kelly - to his adopted parents surname, Fielding. 

December 2020 - Zander and Ches spread posters around claiming that Jack is HIV positive and gave it to Balo. They don’t provide any proof for this allegation, and Jack continues to deny it.

(These are the events ur character would probs vaguely know about!!! Anything else is personal info so they wouldn’t know unless Jack explicitly told them. Feel free to ask me if you’re ever unsure if something is ic knowledge or not!) 

05: OTHER TRIVIA

- He has a fairly strong Yorkshire accent which is obviously something other characters would likely notice when interacting with him. So if he uses words you don’t know it’s safe to assume he’s just being his dumb British self so you are free to have your character question the meaning/not know. (LMK if you’re unsure tho!)

- His favourite band is Oasis (closely followed by Arctic Monkeys), favourite film is Fight Club,  go to drink is either a double vodka coke or a pint of Heineken, and his favourite place is Leadmill in Sheffield because it’s where he’s seen some bands (and fucked girls in the bathroom. Such a romantic.)

- Dyslexic, but if you mention it Jack will fight you, although it’s partially why he leans more toward math based subjects where his spelling ability is irrelevant. 

- Notoriously has a thing for redheads, although that doesn’t prevent him from being crude and sexual towards anyone he happens to meet or interact with.

- Chain smokes anything he can get his ratty little hands on (cigarettes, weed, meh) so expect him to smell of ciggies 24/7. 

- Diehard supporter of Sheffield United and insists there is no better football team even though they really suck

- Weetabix, Weetabix, Weetabix 

06: NOTABLE CONNECTIONS

Within Luxor:

- Friendships: Caitriona, Balo, Avery, Zai, Oakley, Lennon

- Former Relationships: Oakley Prescott 

- Current Relationship: Juliet McCoy

NPCS

- Claire Richardson Fielding & George Fielding: Jack’s adopted parents, who just want to love him despite him being terrible to them. 

- Lauren Kelly: His birth mother, who he misses a lot. 

- Violet Richardson: Claire’s mother, who for some reason adores Jack and considers him her favourite grandchild. Meaning Jack will probably inherit everything when she dies, although he doesn’t really think about that. 

- Emily French: His ex girlfriend from back home, also known as the only girl who Jack truly cared about before Juliet. She broke up with Jack for being too toxic, which although fair, fucked him up for a little bit. Not that he’d admit it. 

07: CONNECTION IDEAS/WCS

Exes (Lots)

Jack has a habit of dating people, dropping them as soon as feelings get involved, cheating on them, and generally being an asshole. So if you want an ex for your muse… yeah.

Enemies

Again, he tends to happily mess with as many people as he possibly can. So he’s probably gotten on the wrong side of at least a couple people.

Friends (fake or real)

Like when he dates, he tends to get close to people before ditching them or screwing with them. So people who think they’re his friends but who aren’t really as close as they think are very welcome. I’m also down to have a couple people who can be the few he genuinely cares about.

08: TL;DR

If you already knew Jack at Luxor:

Little has changed! He’s the same manipulative dick as ever except that he has legally changed his surname. Your characters are tots fine to comment on the change, it’s not a secret or anything. 

If this is your unfortunate first experience with Jack: 

Jack is manipulative, crude, outright insulting, and nasty. He enjoys nothing more than messing with people, and often acts friendly initially just to hurt you later. He is British, adopted, and I call him rat man. 

[itsclydebitches]

The Needs of the Many: A Garashir Reading of “Broken Link”

What’s the current definition of stupidity? It might be trying to write meta for a twenty-six year old show. But you know what? I’m doing it anyway. I make questionable fandom choices and regret mostly nothing.

So. I’m still watching Deep Space Nine—about halfway through season five, but with pretty much every spoiler under my belt considering I have no patience and dove straight into the fic—and I am, without a doubt, absolute garashir trash. Now this is important because as I watch I’ve been on the lookout for all the major scenes and episodes that the fans like to talk about, those that catch our attention for obvious reasons: “Past Prologue,” “The Wire,” “Our Man Bashir,” and the like. However, through my (admittedly cursory) browsing these last few months, I’ve been surprised to find no one talking about season four’s finale “Broken Link.”

On the surface it makes sense. Though Garak gets one of his all too rare episodes, we’ve past the point of no return with Berman’s homophobia and our two lovesick faves aren’t interacting as much as they once did. RIP. 

Thus, it’s easy to pass over Garak doing another Bad Thing in the name of his Cardassian devotion, especially when the Bad Thing is circumvented thanks to Worf instead of Julian. However, what’s nagged at me since watching that scene is one simple, yet significant detail.

Julian was down on that planet.

Quick re-cap for those of us who haven’t watched in a while: the Defiant is taking Odo back to the Great Link in order to cure him of the disease they saddled him with in the first place (nice, huh?). Garak realizes that this may be the one and only time they have all the Founders together and potentially vulnerable. He tries to gain control of the Defiant’s weaponry, but is ultimately discovered and stopped by Worf. Sorry, Garak. You might be surprisingly fit for just a plain, simple tailor, but you’ve got nothing on a battle-obsessed Klingon.

All caught up? Fantastic. Now, all around it’s not a terrible plan. There are just two potential issues. The first is the whole, you know, genocide thing. Some of us tend to frown at that, no matter how much good eliminating the Founders might do moving forward. Beyond that pesky little moral issue, we have the problem that Odo, Sisko, and Julian are all down on the planet’s surface, their deaths a surety if Garak manages to succeed in his plan. This is acknowledged too, so we can’t live with the happy assumption that Garak just wasn’t informed about who was accompanying Odo on this particular mission:

Worf: And what about Odo, and Captain Sisko and Doctor Bashir?

Garak: They'll die. And once the Jem'Hadar ships realize what we're doing, so will we. But what are our lives compared to saving the entire Alpha Quadrant?

From a shipping perspective it doesn’t look too good. After all, how loving is your duo if one can so easily sacrifice the other, without a moment’s hesitation or—dare we imagine it—a single tear in sight? It’s a rather grim picture, the sort of scene that jars shippers out of their lovely little pockets, carefully crafted worlds where suspension of disbelief runs wild. The show-runners may not have had the balls to make anything canon until 2017 (good god), but provided the characters in question don’t actively sabotage the relationship, thereby leaving room for imagining something more, you’re good to go. No such luck with this scene.

At least, it appears that way at first glance. It occurs to me that there are a couple of potential readings if we feel inclined to reach for them. I find it notable that Garak is already thinking to the next logical consequence. That is, Jem’Hadar ships bearing down on them, him meeting his own demise soon after Julian. There’s admittedly something romantic in that. The willingness to let your loved one go, safe in the knowledge that you’ll be quick to join them. We could even argue that Garak isn’t thinking straight in this moment. We know he’s a proud man devoted to his people, exile aside, and right before this he has a rather gutting conversation with the primary Founder:

Founder: They're dead. You're dead. Cardassia is dead. Your people were doomed the moment they attacked us. I believe that answers your question.

So, as far as Garak knows, entire fleets of his people were killed in their last battle, including his father—quite the emotional blow, even if Tain was an absolute shit dad. He’s also received confirmation of what the Federation has long suspected, that the Dominion isn’t content to keep the Alpha Quadrant out of their business, but has every intention of seizing control and, given their history, eliminating rather than assimilating it, to quote the Borg. You’re dead. Your entire species is dead. Everyone else you associate with, even those insidious humans, are dead. It’s only a matter of time. As Garak has pointed out seasons earlier, he knows when to cut his losses and that was one hell of a “resistance if futile” speech. If the rest of the quadrant has any hope of survival, now is the time to cut those losses—including Julian. 

Which I actually really love. 

Because it’s true to Garak’s character. He’s a complicated, morally gray guy, just the sort to blow himself and his shop up in the hopes of saving his life. Or justify killing the entirety of one species to ensure the survival of many. As much as we (or at least I) would have loved a dramatic declaration of love, the realization that he can’t target the Founders no matter how necessary it may seem because his Julian would be caught in the crossfire… that’s just not Garak. Just as importantly, it’s not Julian either. See, I think this scene pairs rather well with “Our Man Bashir.” We can come up with the same sort of potential readings for why Julian was willing to shoot someone he—from the shipper’s perspective—is already head over heels in love with: he’s a doctor and had every confidence in his ability to keep Garak alive until they get out of the holosuite. He’s genetically enhanced and has superb aim, knowing he’ll only create a flesh wound. He was really trying to hit the wall and fucked that one up badly whoops, etc. Regardless of those headcanons though, canonically speaking Julian did shoot him and that’s all there is to it. More specifically, he shot Garak to make sure that Sisko, Kira, Worf, O’Brien, and Jadzia survived, a sacrificing the one to save the many situation, much like Garak’s plan. Or, to put it another way: 

Spirk is the ultimate standard for all other Star Trek ships, if not, for many, shipping in general. Lots of fans have already pointed out the similarities between the sickbay hand clasp in Star Trek: The Motion Picture and Julian’s moment of forgiveness in “The Wire,” 

but there’s another parallel between Spock’s iconic sacrifice and the choices made in DS9. “Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” to which Kirk answers, “Or the one.” This is the same logic that our new duo is abiding by. 

Though a notorious liar, we’re left with nothing else that challenges Garak’s words—he truly seems to believe that the Alpha Quadrant’s safety is worth sacrificing those on the Defiant for. Though a doctor through and through, we’re left with Julian’s steady hand and blood on Garak’s neck—he truly seems to believe that potentially losing one friend is worth assuredly saving five. Neither one is willing to compromise their morals for the other and I personally think that speaks to a healthy amount of respect, both for themselves and each other. In the same way that Garak embraces Julian’s Federation-style optimism and Julian comes to understand that lies are how Garak communicates, they simply and completely accept one another. That includes saying through actions if not words, “I love you, but I’m not going to let that love compromise my core beliefs.” Neither is the type to let love interfere with what they perceive as their duty, but that doesn’t mean the love doesn’t exist. 

Of course, if we follow the spirk parallel, that devotion to the many is later challenged. In The Search for Spock Kirk reverses the logic and justifies his journey with, “Because the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.” Anyone who reads any of my metas knows that Context Is a Thing and in this case the context for both films is personal sacrifice. Spock chooses to sacrifice himself to save the Enterprise. Kirk and the others choose to risk their lives and their careers to get Spock back. These are markedly different situations from what Julian and Garak shoulder: sacrificing one another for the many. If you love someone, then giving up your life for them is easy. Having that action save a whole bunch of other people along the way? Icing on the cake. You die knowing that you’ve done the heroic deed and your better half lives on. But can you harm your other half to uphold your oath as a doctor? Can you kill them to save millions of others? I’d argue that Julian and Garak have the far more difficult choice and both of them managed to answer, “Yes.” It’s a testament to their characterization and, given their strong ethics, precisely how well they fit together. They know where the other stands, what they mean to one another…and when they can’t afford to prioritize that love over everyone else. 

In the end, neither even knew that their sacrifice would pay off. If Garak had succeeded in gaining control of the Defiant’s weaponry he might have found that the Founders had another trick up their sleeve to ensure their survival, leaving him with a dead Julian and an unharmed foe. Julian doesn’t know if he and Garak will be able to survive the holosuite program—or what might happen to the others if they perish. He might end up losing everyone, himself included. Neither has any assurances when they make their decision and that to me makes it that much more meaningful. They’re both acts of determination and faith. And from a narrative standpoint (with help from a healthy dose of Plot Armor) they’re both rewarded for that faith. Garak isn’t forced to kill Julian. Julian’s shot harmlessly skims Garak’s neck. They made the hard call, lost little, and in the case of “Our Man Bashir,” gained a healthy dose of respect for what the other was capable of. 

I think that’s pretty damn neat. 

Right. Thank you for coming to my decades late TED Talk. Peace ✌️

Image Credit

#1: https://boldly-yo.tumblr.com/post/183708405938

GIF: http://kuma-la-la.tumblr.com/post/36694488334/the-needs-of-the-many-outweigh-the-needs-of

#2: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirk/Spock

#3: https://edosianorchids901.tumblr.com/post/181806580405/garak-and-julian-in-222-the-wire

[porquejimin]

Yandere!Seokjin Headcanons

-So I had to think to myself, how does Jin dedicate himself to someone enough for an obsession to be the basis of his violent behavior? Seokjin is very self oriented.

-he is a Sagittarius, fun, clever, but fiercely independent and have the tendency to wander and be flighty. He does what he likes, has many interest, self assured emotions, and motivated.

-The only outlier has to be you. I hate writing these kind of things that allude to love at first sight.

-but something you did, or a part of you is so attractive, he has invested a time to properly study you and find out more.

-From there he becomes so accustomed to this he falls in love with everything else. It’s like every part of you fits well in his vision, so naturally- his head registers it as you belonging to him.

-Calls you jagiya. Classic and romantic. While it’s 2019, he loves the old-school marriage dynamic.

-A domestic Dom if you will.

-He’s had dreams of coming home to you waiting dutifully for him, a kiss and dinner. Cooking together. Going out with the boys. Visiting his parents home. Sweet.

-Those same dreams also end in a less appropriate manner most times. You being tied to the bedpost while he loves you deep and hard.

-You never ask, but you do receive. He buys small non-expensive gifts and you treasure them just like the expensive ones. But the ultimate luxury is his time. You value his smile, embrace, support, and friendship.

-This is where things go wrong.

-Maybe you held feelings in the beginning, but he cherishes you in such a way you remove yourself to not explore your affection further. You conquer your crush and are happy to be his friend. What are the chances he’d ever-

-Turns out the chances are pretty damn high.

-a combination of all the inner things has formed a physical attraction as well. (Seokjin has seen many beautiful people , so I think he’d be a little jaded and be more inclined to like the inside before the out).

-His self assuredness feels compromised. What did he do to cause you to fall out of love? Before he even had you.

-He confesses hastily, and it isn’t comfortable. The whole ordeal leaves him spaces for a few weeks.

-He makes off comments, and responds with petty arguments and aggression. He may love you, but he does not back down for shit. It’s a flaw in many ways.

-Your friendship is staggering at this point. The blow in the chest was him saying he “can’t understand what he sees in you. He could’ve done better”

-Fucking ouch.

-In pain, you tell him to go fuck himself and his insecurity is showing. And as you leave, everything fades black as something crashes over your head.

-Seokjin will grab the phone frantically randomly proceed to call an ambulance. How could he have done this, how-

-He then freezes when he notices his front door is closed. You are still in his home with him.

-He picks you up, doctors you the best he can, and brings you downstairs.

-He is strangely lucid and gentle when you come to. You have a feeling you know what happened. You cry angry tears and demand he let you go. He begins to cry too. That catches you off guard.

-Your hands are tied, but your bought into the warm embrace of your best friend. One you hadn’t met in so long, it gave you whiplash and you couldn’t respond properly.

-An expensive male scent and peonies from his detergent. His warm skin and soft clothing he wore. Firm and soft. Home.

-You cry so hard he clings to you even harder. He wraps his arms around your shoulders and waist. His lips tremble against your forehead and his tears aren’t registered because they fall on yours.

-When you recover he only stared with that sweet smile that was missing for weeks.

-“Jagiya, it’s okay. Your with me and I’ll make you love me again. You’ll give me a proper chance. Then you never have to walk out that door.”

-This isn’t your Seokjin. This couldn’t be.

-But this is him. This is who he was beneath it all.

[sosthemortalcoil]

Ko-Fi Request: Date with Tadea

Alexandra made a request for the following:

Romantic date with Tadea

From Tadea’s PoV (3rd person limited is my preference for other characters)

World-weary Gabriel who finds herself surprising smitten with Tadea

Tall Gabriel

Total word count is 5,235 words and if you would like a pdf or word document copy, let me know via private messages here or on discord! Enjoy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tee, it’s going to be fine.”              

“Oh easy for you to say!” Tadea snaps, chewing on her lower lip as she continues to pace. “Everything comes so easy to you! Pack alpha, valedictorian, full ride—”

“Not everything,” Leo says softly, closing his laptop and standing up, catching her by the shoulders. She narrows her eyes at him. It’s no secret that Gabriel had captured both of their attentions, and there was only one victor in the war for her heart. For once, Leo hadn’t had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

“Boy, I can still kick your ass, alpha or no.”

Leo’s smile is gentle. “I know, Tee.” He squeezes her arms and then drops his hands. There’s no jealousy, though, just a quiet acceptance and support. In some ways it’s harder, having him be so supportive. She’s not sure she would be in his position. “It’s okay to be nervous, though.”

“What’s there to be nervous about? It’s just a date,” Tadea says, crossing her arms and shrugging her shoulders up about her ears.

“You’ve checked your appearance in the bathroom at the end of each loop you’ve been pacing through the apartment.”

“I have not!”

Leo inclines his head. “So you weren’t checking that the one strand in front that never likes to stay there—” He breaks off into laughter as Tadea frantically touches the pads of her fingers to her forehead, trying to make sure that her mohawk, combed down for once in an attempt to look more formal, is still in place.

“You’re a brat,” Tadea hisses, torn between scowling some more and wanting to cry. Not that she particularly wants the latter, but she’s never felt so nervous in her life. Facing life and death situations? Fine. Going up against creatures more powerful than her? Easy-peasy.

Taking an archangel of the lord out on a date?

Someone help her.

“Cálmate. Eres linda y fuerte. Estás lista.”

Tadea shakes her head. “No. No, no, no.” She isn’t ready. Sure, she might look pretty, might look the part, but she’d rather go fight a swarm of ghouls with one hand tied behind her back than do this right now. The consequences of screwing up seem less dire with the alternate scenario.

Then there’s a hand at the scruff of her neck and as much as she wants to fight against it, bare her teeth and snarl, she reminds herself that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to trust her alpha.

“But if you don’t go now, you’re going to be late,” Leo comments, his eyes warm.

Tadea’s go wide. “Why didn’t you say anything!” She bolts for the door to the apartment and slams it as she books it down the stairs.

Thirty seconds later she’s sprinting back up the stairs and nearly breaking the door down as she barges back in. “Purse!” The strange expression on her alpha’s face lets her know he’s trying hard not to laugh at her behavior. Fortunately, before he loses it, Leo picks up the black clutch and tosses it to her.

Fumbling out her keys, she raises them triumphantly over her head. “I’m off!” There’s a glow to her, and she even manages a wink this time. “Don’t wait up.”

“Have fun!” is the last thing she hears as once more she clatters down the dark, narrow stairs before bursting out into the fading daylight. The clutch is tossed unceremoniously into the back as she slides across the old leather bench seat, the engine roaring to life a second later.

A glance at the clock has her cursing under breath. She can’t be late. She’s been dreaming of this day for longer than she’d like to admit. Of course, she hadn’t known initially what Gabriel was, but it hadn’t mattered. The woman had come into her life and stolen her heart in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

Some might say it was a childish crush, but Tadea had waited, bided her time. It hadn’t faded, and for fair reason. After the brilliance of Gabriel, other women seemed a dull in comparison. Smitten didn’t begin to cover it.

And then Gabriel had chosen her. The rough-around the edges, barely-passed-highschool mechanic over the brilliant alpha. This was the one thing Tadea had wanted for years, the one thing she truly would fight for. And her effort had paid off in a nearly unbelievable turn of events.

Her hands feel slick on the wheel, and it takes a concerted effort not to wipe them on her slacks. The price-tags had only come off this afternoon and she’d rather not get her outfit wrinkled before dinner starts. The material feels silky on her skin, and she hopes Gabriel likes it. For a moment she had contemplated getting a dress or skirt, but ultimately decided that her physique would look better in black slacks and the sleek sleeveless turtleneck top she’d gotten to go with it, leaving her arms bare.

Gabriel could kick her ass in a fight with a bend of her pinky finger, but Tadea figured she had to appreciate the hard-earned tone the werepanther had. It was one of her better assets, and it showed off her tattoos. She’d spent too much to get them to not show them off when she could.

Taking a corner harder than necessary and drawing a few scathing stares, she pulls her car into the parking lot of one of the classier restaurants on the bay.

Then she sits there and stares mindlessly off into the distance. Maybe this was a mistake. She’s going to stick out like a sore thumb here with her tattoos and hairstyle, not to mention she’s likely a good decade younger than everyone apart from the waitstaff.

Hell, she looks nearly a decade younger than her date. She frowns. Date? Girlfriend? Gabriel had said yes to the date so did that mean they are girlfriends now? Her heart thumps erratically in her chest at the thought. She’s never had a girlfriend before. Plenty of hookups, sure, but not someone she would take out on a date.

Not someone she would buy new clothes for and fuss over her appearance for hours hoping to live up to expectations.

Tadea groans. “I’m so fucking gay it’s a wonder I can function right now,” she grumbles, shaking her head, trying to rid herself of the nervous thoughts flitting around her head like so many gnats.

And then promptly scooting across the seat so she can see herself in the rearview mirror, afraid that she’d messed up her hair after finally getting all the strands to lay just so.

She jumps at the knock to her window. A familiar face peers in, lips stretched in an amused grin. Much to her horror, Tadea can feel the blush spreading through her cheeks.

“Coming out?” Gabriel mouths.

Nodding, Tadea buys herself some time by turning around and rummaging for her clutch. It’s fallen under the front seat, which necessitates her climbing half-way into the back to grab it. As she returns to the front seat she catches a glimpse of herself and groans. She’d been afraid of using too much product and causing her hair to look stiff so she’d tried to use as little as possible. The result is that now her hair is falling haphazardly over her head. This is why she doesn’t like purses. Much easier to jam a wallet into a pocket of her utility pants. Now she’s undone all of the hard work she’d put into looking presentable.

Dismay crosses her features. Gabriel’s right outside but if she hurries—

The door opens. “The date is happening out here, right?” she asks, her voice low and musical to Tadea’s ears, ears which now feel like they’re on fire.

“Yea, just a moment,” she mumbles, trying her best to hastily sweep the strands back into something resembling neat. A hand taps her shoulder, and she turns reluctantly to face Gabriel. The woman is leaning down, nearly in half, to see into her classic car.

“Come on gorgeous,” she murmurs in that smooth voice of hers. “You’d think being as old as I am I’d have learned patience, but I don’t want to wait another minute for this.” Her hand is palm up, inviting Tadea to take it.

Blushing furiously, annoyed at herself for still primping in the car while Gabriel is waiting, Tadea places her hand in Gabriel’s. It’s warm, calloused like hers which is oddly comforting. It’s a reminder that while Gabriel might seem worlds away from her at times, they have a lot in common.

She’s pulled out of the car and given her first good look at her date. Now she feels underdressed, and these are the most expensive clothes she ownss. Gabriel is stunning, the colors perfect for her complexion, the flow of the fabric accentuating her form.

“Hold still,” Gabriel instructs. Tadea is glad she said it though because she cannot move and finds it unlikely that she will be able to in the near future, still recovering from taking in her date.

Her. Date.

She swallows, her palms starting to feel sweaty again, her heart picking up speed. Adrenaline she’s familiar with, but she’s used to channeling it into fighting. Uncertainty makes her tongue heavy and she’s stuck staring silently and up close at Gabriel’s face as the taller woman bends over her, fussing with her hair. Her fingers are gentle against her scalp, comforting and intimate at the same time.

All too soon she’s pulling away, lips curled with satisfaction. “There you are. Though, for the record, I think how you style it normally is just fine too,” she comments, sweeping around and striding towards the sidewalk up to the restaurant.

Tadea scrambles after her, feeling completely uncoordinated, legs leaden and head spinning. Pull it together pendejo, she thinks to herself, catching up and offering her arm to Gabriel. One eyebrow raises.

“That’s still a custom after all these years?”

Tadea’s tongue darts out, wetting her lips before she speaks. “If you like I can kiss your hand, make you feel more at home,” she offers.

A soft laugh greets her proposal. “Maybe later,” Gabriel says, shaking her head. “Humans are such strange creatures…”

Tadea wrinkles her nose as they approach the double doors. “I’m not a human,” she reminds Gabriel gently. The archangel waves her hand in a dismissive motion.

They draw attention as they walk together. She can’t fault the onlookers; even in her work clothes in the middle of the night, sleep deprived, bags under her eyes and everything wrinkled and half-tucked, Gabriel was beautiful.

Today, dressed up, she shines like a supernova. In comparison, Tadea might as well be a remora, Gabriel the beautiful and deadly shark that she’s clinging too, attempting to prove herself not a parasite.

“Is my company so boring I cannot hold your attention for even a few minutes?”

The question makes Tadea blink, then shake her head. “Sorry, no, that’s not it at all. I can’t think about anything but you at the moment.”

Gabriel makes a noncommittal noise and reaches for the handle. Tadea tries to beat her to it, but the disadvantage of having a taller date manifests itself in the fact that she can’t reach the handle before her date. “I might suggest ceasing thinking about me and instead talking to me,” she says as she holds the door open for Tadea.

“You could have let me get it,” Tadea tells Gabriel, eyeing her sideways as they step into the cool interior of the restaurant. “You already opened my car door for me.”

“So I did,” Gabriel agrees, the door closing softly behind them. “It is no trouble, Tadea. Relax. Human courting rituals may change over the centuries but a simple door opening is not the end of the world.”

“I’m—not human,” she repeats.

“I’m aware,” Gabriel says dryly. “But many of your behaviors, customs, and rituals are. Or at least, have the appearance of being.” She falls silent as they walk up to the hostess.

“Guerrero, party of two,” Tadea says. The hostess glances at her, and Tadea catches a glimpse of nictitating membrane sliding across what would otherwise appear to be a perfectly normal human eye.

She’s beginning to think there’s very few humans in New Jericho.

They follow her out to the balcony over the water, to a quiet corner table where they’re left alone with two menus.

“As I was saying—humans borrow and steal, blend and appropriate as they like. They are an extremely adaptable species, very compatible with a wide variety of creatures from across the planes. Many of what they consider to be their habits are simply things they have gleaned from other, older races.”

Tadea isn’t sure what to say in response to that, so she switches topics.

“The ambience here is nice.” There are floating lanterns below, bobbing gently in the harbor, and a candle in a hurricane glass on the table, surrounded by a wreath of fresh flowers. Primroses, if she’s not mistaken.

“It’s strange.” Gabriel looks out over the water, drumming her fingers against the bottom of her chin. “Candles were necessary for so long as a light source. I’m not sure it was considered particularly romantic; it just was. Now that humans have advanced past that level of technology they regard it with a certain fondness. A soft spot for archaic things.”

“Maybe, but I think something like a gondola ride or—or a horse drawn carriage is romantic,” Tadea says with a small shrug. “Being archaic or old,” she adds, her smile curling up with mischief, “isn’t such a bad thing.”

Gabriel looks at her, her expression flat. For a moment Tadea fears she’s offered insult, ruining the date before their waters have arrived. That would have to be some kind of record.

“No, I suppose not,” Gabriel finally responds, one side of her mouth tugging up. She takes the glasses of water from their waiter as he arrives, thanking him in a tongue that isn’t of human origin.

“Fae,” she explains for Tadea. “At least part. Likely some sort of selkie hybrid, possibly naiad. Or would that be oceanid? They’re really all of a similar species but I suppose they do have their preference in type of water.”

Tadea opens the menu. “I don’t really know a lot about other supernaturals. Not like we had a ‘how to be a werepanther’ class or anything that also covered the other types of creatures we might encounter.” She looks over the top of the menu at Gabriel.

“Finding out that angels are real was a nice treat, though.”

Gabriel blinks slowly, before a smile curves her lips. “I have quite enjoyed my interactions with werepanthers as well,” she says languidly, the words soft and intimate. One of her fingers runs around the rim of the water glass, creating a low ringing sound.

“I thought only crystal did that,” Tadea blurts out, curious and happy to latch onto a subject that won’t lead to her blushing.

Gabriel quirks her lips. “I’m not entirely playing fair,” she admits. “Nervous habit.”

“You’re nervous?” Tadea asks, her voice rising in disbelief.

“Are you so surprised?” Gabriel asks in return, leaning back in her chair, showing off her long frame.

“Well, yea,” Tadea admits, rubbing the back of her neck. “You are kind of a few millennia old archangel of God. I would think this is all run of the mill for you.”

Gabriel’s brow furrows. “I’m sorry,” she says after a beat, “but my Babylon matrix isn’t translating that. Could you explain?”

Tadea mentally slaps herself. Good going. Confuse your date; I’m sure that’s a brilliant strategy.

“It’s an idiom meaning that this is ordinary or routine for you.”

“Ah.” Gabriel turns her head to look out over the water. “No, no I wouldn’t say that.”

“You’ve… never gone on a date before?” Tadea can’t conceal the shock in her voice.

Gabriel looks back out of the corner of her eye, eyebrow arched. “Not like this.”

“But—but—!”

“But what?” Gabriel asks, turning around fully. “You’ve said it yourself: I’m an archangel. Dating doesn’t come with the territory. It’s not forbidden, but angels don’t often take a mate. I think I know more angels who have Fallen for creating Nephilim than I know who have another angel for a mate. And dating outside of angels is—discouraged.” The way she says the last word is like it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

Tadea frowns, her eyebrows drawing low. “That seems kind of depressing.”

Gabriel gives a shrug, her expression resuming its normal inscrutable mask. “You haven’t dated before either, or at least that’s what I’ve surmised from your behavior.”

“Well, no, but I’ve been a bit busy trying not to die for most of my life and then crushing on a certain archangel since then.” The server comes back, and Tadea has to request a few more minutes, feeling bad that she hasn’t glanced over the menu at all yet.

“I could tell a very similar tale myself,” Gabriel muses, flipping open the menu.

“You’re making this up to make me feel good,” Tadea accuses. “I’m not anything remarkable. There’s no way I’m the first person you’ve ever had a desire to take out on a date.”

Gabriel snaps her menu shut and lays it down. There’s a crispness to her words, cutting Tadea to the quick. “No, you’re not remarkable.”

Tadea bites down on her lower lip. Her eyes rove over the printed words rather than look at Gabriel, but she sees nothing.

 “You’re not an alpha, though we both know you could have been. You’re not particularly gifted in any area with the exception of fighting and perhaps mechanics, though the former seems an unhealthy obsession at times and the latter seems less innovative and more routine.”

Tadea clenches her jaw. After a few beats she sets her menu down as well, meeting Gabriel’s gaze for the first time without a trace of nervousness.

“Then why are we here?” she demands, voice low. Whatever happens, she refuses to make a scene. She refuses to give any of the people who look at her and think they know her type a reason to believe themselves superior, and that includes her would-be date.

“I cannot answer that for you,” Gabriel states.

“I think you just did,” Tadea says, starting to get to her feet. Faster than her enhanced reflexes can track, Gabriel seizes her wrist.

“Sit down.”

It’s not a question, and Tadea finds her butt back in her seat, heat crawling up her neck. Taking orders wasn’t something she had ever enjoyed with her previous partners, preferring instead to fight for dominance—quite literally, most of the time. With Gabriel, though, it feels—well, like lightning shooting through her veins, nerves from her toes to her head sending signals to her brain and making her entire body flush. Desire, irritation, and a touch of awe mingle.

Gabriel is an aphrodisiac all on her own. Eyes glittering in the dark, the soft glow of the candlelight making her wonder just how Gabriel must look when not bound to a mortal form. She’s already taller than most people and turns heads everywhere she goes. Was her light bright, scorching? Or was it soft and gentle? Something inbetween? How much of her was avenging angel and how much was this… tired and world-weary being?

It’s not a bad date, not really. Not that Tadea has been on a lot of dates to compare against, but the company is good, and the food she sees being served up looks and smells delicious. The conversation hasn’t been terrible either.  

Except for the whole part where Gabriel had practically admitted to being here out of some stray sense of curiosity.

“Stop.” Her voice is clear but softer now, charging through the cacophony of Tadea’s thoughts. “I’m… I have watched the world for a long time, Tadea. I have seen a great many things. I have met some of humankind’s most brilliant specimens, seen what they call miracles up close and personal.”

Tadea focuses on the way her water glass sweats, cool drops rolling down the sides, picking up speed as they join other droplets. It’s easier to focus on than to see the light turn away from her, than to see Gabriel decide that this was a mistake.

“Tadea, please look at me. Please.”

Irked, Tadea gives in, raising her dark eyes to meet Gabriel’s. They’re wide open, and she’s leaning across the table towards the werepanther, the long-fingered hand on her wrist flipping Tadea’s hand over and stroking the calloused palm. It takes all her control not to shiver at the touch. Gabriel isn’t playing fair and Tadea doesn’t understand what game they’re playing anymore.

           “There are books with names, important figures in the movement of the world. Yours isn’t in it.” Surprise, surprise. Tadea is a nobody. She’d always known that. It wasn’t her father who had ruled the pack. It wasn’t her mother who organized the resistance to the encroaching alpha. Her father had been killed without doing anything but being an ordinary member of the pack and her mother had been dead or as good as for longer.

“You’re doing it again.”

The note of wry amusement in Gabriel’s dry observation has her wrinkling her nose, withdrawing her hand and folding her arms across her chest. “So?”

“Would you at least wait until I finish talking before getting cross with me? This is a new occurrence for me.” Gabriel’s lips twitch up, relaxed despite the tension Tadea felt mounting in her body. Fight or flight seems like a valid response here. Sensing her reluctance, Gabriel presses her further. “You can teach an old cat new tricks but it might take nine lives.”

Tadea blinks, and suddenly giggles. Horrified, she claps a hand over her mouth, not having anticipated the sound to be so loud or so high-pitched.

Gabriel beams, before abruptly frowning. “I didn’t say that right, did I?” she asks, shoulders slumping, dejection heavy in her voice.

Taking pity on her date—she is quite old and if this really is her first time dating, then it is perhaps unfair to expect her to be better—Tadea holds up three fingers. “Curiosity killed the cat.” She lowers a finger. “Cats have nine lives.” Another finger goes down. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

“Well that’s just nonsense. Curiosity only kill the unprepared, cats do not have nine lives—at least not ordinary house cats. Perhaps some varieties of creatures that look like cats but no actual earth-origin cat. Unless you found a necromancer I suppose and brought it back but I think that counts as an unlife not a—”

Another snort escapes Tadea, though this time she doesn’t hide her laughter behind her hand.

Gabriel’s lower lip juts out and she slowly flutters long lashes at Tadea.

“That’s not going to work on me.”

“You can teach an old dog new tricks,” Gabriel wheedles.

Tadea shakes her head. “Nope. But—” she holds up a single finger. “I might be willing to try and teach an angel new tricks.”

Gabriel’s eyes light up. “So you’ll wait?”

“If you get to your point,” Tadea comments. “Our poor waiter is going to come back and we’re still not going to have an answer for him.”

“Well I certainly know what I would love to eat,” Gabriel murmurs, and there’s nothing innocent about the way she says it. Dating might be new, but clearly seduction was not.

“Gabriel,” Tadea hisses. Holding up her hands, she leans back.

“As I was saying: you are ordinary.” Her eyes soften, her head canting as she looks at Tadea, unblinking. Tadea wonders if she has any idea the kind of instincts that triggers. Gabriel’s not another werepanther so it’s unlikely. It’s a silly child’s game for the most part, but the urge to stare back and see who blinks first is nearly overwhelming.

She resists, though, forcing herself to blink.

“Humans seem to regard ordinary as a terminal condition. And I’m sorry my dear, I don’t mean to offer insult, but many of the weres and other supernatural creatures that dwell on this plane have adopted human behaviors by and large to assist in blending in so for the purposes of brevity I shall simply use humans as a generalization.”

Tadea nods, hoping Gabriel will get to her point sooner rather than later.

 “You have to understand… most mortal creatures aren’t worth the notice of immortals. Not as individuals. And it’s not that you’re not interesting or that we don’t care, but when you know something will die and be like a brief flare of light in your life… well in the absent of that light the darkness seems that much more intense for having seen it otherwise, if that makes sense?”

Tadea realizes something as she watches Gabriel. Her date’s posture isn’t tense, it’s perfectly poised. She doesn’t twitch or fiddle, no toe-tapping or finger-drumming. There’s no outwards signs of nervousness, except that she’s a touch to perfect with her posture, with the way her fingers wrap around her water glass or the way her long legs are crossed neatly at the ankles beneath the table.

The archangel is nervous.

For the first time tonight, Tadea breathes out slowly, a weight lifting from her shoulders. All this babbling, these round-about words bordering on insulting, all of it is the archangel’s way of being embarrassed. Flustered, even, if the touch of a blush on her cheeks is natural and not due to the assistance of make-up.

“This assignment wasn’t part of my plan. And then I expected to be here for some two decades or so to raise the boy to adulthood. I figured it would be over and done with quickly and I could go back to watching, as we angels do so well.”

Her tongue darts out, wetting her lips. “I never expected to be here.”

Tadea, having found her footing, cannot resist teasing the angel across the table from her. “At a restaurant on the bay run by fae? I mean we can always run to the fish and chips stand down closer to the shipping docks.”

A peal of bright laughter tears from Gabriel’s lips, her eyes crinkling at the corner. “There she is!” she exclaims, teeth flashing in a stunning smile. “There’s the woman I was hoping would show up for our date.”

Tadea shrugs one shoulder, leaning back, at ease. “No pressure dating a literal archangel of God or anything, you know? I had to buy new clothes to be sure that I wouldn’t have grease on anything. It gets everywhere.”

Gabriel arches an eyebrow. “I’m eager to see the extent of the truth of that statement,” she murmurs.

Tadea narrows her eyes playfully. “Finish your explanation. I’m still not impressed.”

 “You’re still here.”

“You’re hot,” Tadea counters. “And this—seared Chilean sea bass with rosemary potatoes and herb sauce sound delicious. If I’m going to get all dressed up the least I can do is get a good dinner out of it.”

More soft laughter greets her words.

“Fine. As I was saying, I didn’t expect this. I didn’t expect to meet this young woman who is resilient and fierce and loyal, with a heart she tries to hide behind thorns but is more beautiful than any rose.”

“Now you’re just piling on flattery,” Tadea says, too quickly to sound casual.

“It’s not flattery if it’s true.” Gabriel is staring at her again, and this time Tadea doesn’t blink, getting lost in her eyes. Maybe it’s her own personal bias, but there are depths to Gabriel’s eyes that other creatures seem to lack. They’ve seen so much, and normally there’s a flat affect to them, a general disinterest born of seeing too much of the awful side of life.

It was a look Tadea had seen in many of the survivors of the previous alpha’s takeover.

Now though, there’s a spark. A twinkle of delight that Gabriel seems unsure of how to handle. “And it is true. You aren’t remarkable because some celestial force has your name in a book or someone wrote a prophecy. Yes, being a werepanther sets you apart. Your skill as a fighter and as a mechanic sets you apart. Even your beauty sets you apart. But it’s—it’s not given to you. You are unique, in ways that I have to pay attention to notice.”

The waiter comes up, and this time they both hastily give an order, neither one interested in delaying the meal further but eager to return to their conversation. The fae gives an appraising glance at the pair of them.

 “A bottle of champagne for the sweethearts, on the House,” he declares before gliding away.

Tadea inclines her head. “He knows you aren’t a null, doesn’t he?”

It’s Gabriel’s turn to shrug nonchalantly. “Let’s just say that the dialect I spoke is both old and most often used by powerful fae.”

“Sneaky,” she comments, taking the napkin and moving it to her lap, smoothing it out over her legs. Gabriel copies her motions.

“Age often leads to wisdom which sometimes leads to a certain canniness that could be described as sneakiness,” she demurs. “Now—let me finish. You are… amazing, Tadea Guerrero.”

She rolls her r’s now, something she hadn’t done the first time she had tried to say her last name. It’s obvious she’s been practicing, and not with Tadea. Perhaps it seems small and insignificant, but for Tadea, it makes her heart warm.

 “You couldn’t have just said that from the beginning?” she asks, her voice coming out in a hoarse rasp, emotions clogging her throat.

“I was trying. I am… before you I thought I knew the world. I thought I knew all about it and the banal, insipid creatures that went about their lives. I thought that this would be a torture, that I would be bored out of my mind.”

Once more Gabriel reaches out across the table, grabbing Tadea’s hand.

“You caught me off-guard, and your devotion, your belief… Tadea, I don’t know that I deserve any of it, but for the first time in a long time, I have something to work towards that is for me. Well… for us.”

Heart pounding, Tadea squeezes Gabriel’s hand. “I like that.”

An eyebrow climbs. “That?”

“The idea of us.” Her smile is broad as she leans forward. “You already know full well that I like you.”

Gabriel grins. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I think the Babylon Matrix—”

“¡Por el amor de Dios!” Tadea exclaims, rolling her eyes. “That works one time, chica,” she tells her archangel, wagging a finger. “Una vez.”

Not the least bit perturbed, Gabriel shrugs. “Worth a try. Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of other things I’ve been dying to try out.”

Tadea shakes her head, her grin stretching wider. She hadn’t been sure what to expect from a date with an archangel, but so far she wouldn’t change a thing. Raising her glass, and gesturing for Gabriel to do the same, she clinks the water together. “To figuring this out, together,” she murmurs.

“Together,” Gabriel echoes, and drains the water.

[celtics534]

We Run From Real Life Thoughts Tonight

Doom Days chapter 3 is here. Are you ready for it?

Read on FF.net or AO3

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Harry glanced over at Ginny out of the corner of his eye. She was staring straight ahead, hyper-focused on their task. After a quick moment of silence for their fallen friend, they had fled the scene, looting their enemies clean of anything useful. 

 As they walked, Harry’s mind kept replaying the scene. He saw Cedric’s body jerking as the bullet tore through his chest. He saw the look on his face as he slid down to the ground. Harry’s own hands were covered in shining blood. Then… nothing. He had frozen, unable to do more than stare, and Ginny had been the one to guide them away from everything. 

 If Harry was completely honest, he hadn’t heard a word she’d said for the first few minutes after the shooting ceased. His brain seemed to have shut down, unable to think about anything other than his dead friend. But when Ginny had moved in close… how was it that she smelled like Molly’s little patio garden? They were in the middle of an apocalypse, and there she was, smelling of fucking flowers. It was the same scent he’d noticed back in school, the same smell that would follow him into his dreams to that very night . That’s what had brought him back to reality, back to the painful real-life thoughts. Without her,fuck...  he’d probably still be back in the center of that village. Or dead.  

 The night was approaching fast as they made their way. By Harry’s understanding of the map, they should reach Lower Assendon before darkness completely overran them. 

 “What’s that?” Ginny broke the comfortable silence they’d had for over an hour. She was pointing towards the outline of a tree on a small rise, and yet… 

 Harry blinked a few times to make sure his eyes weren’t misleading him. Dangling from one of the higher branches were two humanoid shadows. They were connected by a thick rope tied  around where their necks would be. 

“Please don’t let it be what I think it is.” Ginny’s shoulders fell as they moved in closer to the hanging tree. 

 “Then it’s better if I don’t speak.” Harry took in a deep breath as they stood forty meters away. Without saying a word, they’d each decided to stop.“Fuck.”

 “We should cut them down.” Ginny reached for the blade clipped to her belt. Harry followed her as she strode up the short incline. 

 Once they were close enough to see the skin peeling from the woman’s cheeks, the first thing Harry thought of was the lack of smell. “They’ve been here for a while.”

 Ginny nodded as she stared at the couple. The longer they stood there, the more Harry noticed -- but what really caught his attention was their linked hands. 

 “They wanted to leave the world together,” Ginny spoke softly. He turned to see her looking at their hands too. “I’m guessing one of them was ill.” She swallowed hard. “I’m worried that Dad sent me away for the same reason.”

 Harry’s heart surged into his throat. The idea that Arthur was going to -- “No.” 

 His voice was so quiet he could barely hear it. Beside him, he felt Ginny shudder. Without hesitation, Harry took her into his arms, cradling her head to his chest. 

 She started to shake while Harry held her. He could feel the dampness of her tears on his shirt. “Ginny, I --” I’m sorry wasn’t enough. It pained him to watch her deal with all of… this. This motherfucking shit-show of a world. If he could, he’d have hidden her away from it all. 

 But that was impossible. 

 “I just hate that I can’t do anything,” Ginny said, her voice muffled by his shirt. Harry started rubbing small circles in between her shoulder blades. “Oh, Harry, you and I both know he won’t make it. Mum maybe had a few days, and they say --”

 Ginny choked back a sob. Harry pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Everyone knows how contagious you are during the last twenty-four hours you’re alive with Morsmordre.”  

 She nodded into his chest. “He won’t leave her side. The whole plant thing is a lie.” Harry’s mind whirled back to Arthur’s vague promise of a cure, of the mystical plant lying outside the city limits.

 “Did he tell you that?”

 “No, but if there was a cure, why hasn’t news spread? Why aren’t people walking around cheering about this Godsend of a cure?”

 Harry continued rubbing her back, and to his immense pleasure, her stiff shoulders slowly loosened. Her breathing was also taking on an even rhythm. He knew her question was entirely rhetorical. They both knew the answer. 

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 “We’re almost there,” Harry told Ginny as they walked down the old one-lane road. 

 “Do we know who we’re meeting?” Ginny asked. Even in the poor light of his torch beam, he could see that her eyes were still red-rimmed from the previous hour. After cutting the dead couple from their post, it had taken some time to move on from the hanging tree. Now the sun had fully set and they were relying on their torches for light.  

 “Ced --” Harry swallowed hard. “Cedric use to live here with Cho.”

 “The one who might be --” 

 Harry flinched. If Cho really was pregnant -- fuck.. He didn’t want that guilt on his head. The idea that he’d caused a child to lose their father before even getting to meet him...

 Ginny grabbed his hand and pulled him to a complete stop. “Harry, as sad as it is that Cedric died, it wasn’t our fault.” 

 “But --” 

 “No!” She slapped her hand down on his chest. Harry saw her face illuminated in the perfect light for telling a scary story; her torch was angled below her chin and shadows danced across her features. “We weren’t the ones who shot him, were we? No, it was those bastards! And now they’re paying the ultimate price.”

 Logically, Harry knew she was right. He hadn’t killed Cedric, but it sure felt like he had. “If we hadn’t --”

 “-- He could still have walked into an ambush and been captured and tortured in a month’s time.” Ginny shook her head. “Harry, do you believe in fate?”

 “I --” Harry pursed his lips. “I don’t know.”

 Ginny nodded. “Well, I do. I think some  things have to happen eventually, no matter how much it hurts. It shapes us into who we are.”

 “Are you saying Cedric had to die?”

 “I don’t know about dying, but I do think something was bound to happen. Don't get me wrong.” Ginny spread her palms in surrender. “I don’t think we should sit back and just let anything happen to us, but I do think there’s a general outline that’s already in place.” 

 Harry let her philosophy sink in. He had no idea if fate or destiny were real things, but she did have a point about certain events shaping him into the man he’d become. Without his losses and victories, who would he be?  

 “I --” He took a deep breath. “It still hurts.” Harry had never been good at sharing his feelings, something his secondary school girlfriend pointed out all too often. He could never articulate what was going on in his head when it came to emotions. 

 Ginny, however, didn’t seem to care that he couldn’t express himself. She gave him a small smile that he almost couldn’t see in the poor lighting. “I know.” She stood up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “We best keep going.”

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 In Harry’s opinion, Lower Assendon was a horrible place to set up a defense post. The center of the village was a wide open area with what once had been houses and a few local businesses. There was no way to set a wall around the area, or at least not an efficient one. Harry couldn’t help but wonder how anyone felt safe in this neighborhood.

 Harry and Ginny walked right up to the only building that had any lights shining, the old bed and breakfast. 

 “I’m gonna knock,” Harry told Ginny quietly. “I need you to be behind my back and ready if someone makes a move at me.” 

 Ginny nodded, pulling her gun out of her holster and clicking off the safety. Harry stopped on the stoop, checking to make sure Ginny was ready. At her nod, he knocked. It took fifteen seconds for someone to brush the curtains aside to look at them. Harry could see a mane of dark hair before the window was covered again. Then a dark eye shone through a crack in the door. 

 “Who is it?” Though Harry hadn’t talked to her in years, he recognized Cho Chang. 

 “Cho, it’s Harry Potter.” Harry could hear her intake of breath. 

 “Harry? From Secondary?” Though she sounded more comforted, the door didn’t open. “I need you to prove it.”

 “How?” Harry glanced back at Ginny and saw confusion reflected back at him. 

 “Tell me something only Harry would know.” There was a pause. “Where did you walk in on me and Cedric?”

 Harry could feel his face heating. Oh, how he had tried to forget that scene. It had been hard enough for him to hear about the girl he fancied in a committed relationship, but to see it up close and personal had been… 

 “You were in the cupboard by Snape’s old classroom.” 

 From behind him, Ginny let out a derisive snort. “Not the most romantic spot,” she muttered under her breath. Harry had to hide his smile as Cho swung the door wide. 

 “Harry!” Cho gave him a hug. Apparently,  an apocalypse made people more willing to embrace friends from their past. “How are you? And.” She looked over at Ginny. “Fred and George’s little sister?”

 “Not the title I typically go by,” Ginny muttered, but accepted Cho’s hug all the same.  “How are you, Cho?”

 “As good as can be expected.” Cho took a quick look behind them. “You best come inside.” She gestured them into a small corridor and through an open doorway that led to a moderately-sized sitting room.  “How did you know where to find me?” 

 “We didn’t exactly know it was you who was living here.” Harry settled on the loveseat and was pleased when Ginny joined him instead of taking one of the overstuffed armchairs.    

 “Really?” Cho cocked her head to the side. “But then why --”

 Harry felt like a shiver go down his spine and his throat tighten. “I --” He took in a deep breath and looked directly at Cho. “Cedric had been leading us here.”

 “Oh, you’ve seen Cedric!” Cho beamed. “I’m so glad, I always thought you two would get --” She paused as confusion contorted her pretty face. “Wait… leading? He’s with you?” Harry’s chest started to constrict as she looked around the room as if expecting her boyfriend to be hiding in a corner. Cho met his eyes. “Where is Cedric?”

 “He --” Harry couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell this woman that the man she loved had died helping him. 

 Thankfully, Ginny took the lead. 

 “Cho.” Ginny leaned forward and took her hand. Ginny’s voice was lower and comforting. “Cho,” she repeated, “I’m sorry but he -- someone shot him.”

 “No.” 

 The one word crushed Harry. Cho looked between him and Ginny as if waiting for one of them to tell her how it was all a joke and Cedric would be coming home with a bouquet of flowers. After a minute, Cho’s head fell into her hands as her body shook with sobs. 

 Ginny rose from her spot to crouch beside Cho and placed a gentle arm over the distraught woman’s shoulders, whispering words of comfort. Harry didn’t have a clue what to do. He had no idea how to console Cho. As she’d reminded him often enough, he was terrible with emotions. 

 “How -- Did --?” Cho tried to ask, but choked on her own words. 

 “He didn’t suffer.” Ginny rubbed her hand up and down the length of Cho’s arm in a soothing manner. “Cho, he was talking about how much he adored you before -- it happened.”

 Cho sucked in a shuddering breath as she raised her head. Harry could see the trail that her tears had taken down her face. “At least that’s something.”

 “Cho, are --” Harry cut himself off. Even he knew this wasn’t the time to ask if she was pregnant. “Will you be all right?”

 Cho blinked at him, sending residual tears down her cheeks. “I’ll have to be, won’t I?”

 Ginny shook her head. “No, Cho, you don’t have to be okay.”

 “I -- I need to be.” Cho rubbed at her dry eyes. 

 “Is that because of the baby?” Ginny asked gently. Harry had admired how smoothly she’d asked. He never would have managed that.  

 Cho’s neck snapped to look at Ginny. “How -- Did Cedric tell you?” 

 “He mentioned you thought you might be, and that he was excited.” 

 “Yeah.” Cho squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before giving Ginny a dejected look. “I missed my monthly and thought… but I got it yesterday. Cedric left to help Hannah two days ago. I didn’t get to tell h -” 

 Ginny pulled Cho tightly into her side when Cho choked on her own words.  She turned her attention to Harry. “Wanna go make some tea?”

 Harry stared at her feeling like a deer in the headlights, his mind unable to comprehend her words. 

 “Tea?” He finally parroted, feeling the cogs in his head turn. “Right. I’ll make everyone a cup of tea.” Harry hastily stood from his seat and exited the den. 

  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Harry thanked Cho as he closed the door to the room she’d presented. Never had a night dragged so long… Between Cho randomly breaking down into tears and getting his shoulder patched with more official supplies than Ginny’d had earlier, Harry needed sleep. His wound hurt and so did his head.

 He moved over to the large bed, surprised at how comfortable it looked. The last three years had been a blur of  lumpy mattresses or hard floors, but this -- this was paradise.

 Right as he was about to pull the covers out from their tucked areas, someone knocked on his door. 

 “Harry?” Ginny’s muffled voice came through the wood. “Can I come in?” 

 Harry strode over to the door and slowly opened it to reveal a bleary-eyed Ginny. She entered the room and sat on the bed. 

 “What’s up?” Harry unconsciously ran a hand through his hair. 

 “What’s the plan?” Ginny pulled her legs up onto the mattress, sitting criss-cross. The way she was looking at him… there was so much trust and respect in her gaze. It made him feel as if he could conquer anything.

 “I saw some old bicycles by one of the houses on the way here.” Harry took a seat next to Ginny, leaning his back against the headboard. “We can check to see if there’s air in their tires.”

 Harry could have sworn the smile Ginny gave him lit up the room more than the candle on the nightstand. “Harry, that’s a great idea!”

 “Thanks.” Harry hoped his face wasn’t turning red. He would spend all his days coming up with ideas if it meant getting Ginny to look at him like that. “It should cut time to Abingdon in half.”

 “More than half, I’m guessing.” Ginny moved so she sat beside him with her back to the headboard. “God, how has it only been a day? It feels like it’s been years.” 

 Harry had to agree. All the shit they’d already dealt with… well, that was enough excitement to last a lifetime, but they would have to go out and do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. 

 They stayed quiet for a few minutes, both lost in their own memories and thoughts of what they were going to have to do. Harry didn’t even notice when Ginny tilted herself so that her body leaned against his, her head resting on his shoulder. 

 This was his own Elysium. Just being able to sit there with her, not a worry on his mind. No, Harry couldn't think of anything better than this. 

 He could hear Ginny's breathing even out. Looking down, Harry saw that her eyes had closed. Harry loved how her mouth parted slightly, amplifying a cute little snore she had. 

 Gently, he slid her body down the pillows so she lay flat on the mattress. He held up her legs so he could work the blankets from under her. Once he had her completely settled, Harry rose from the bed to ask Cho where Ginny had planned on sleeping, but Ginny’s hand reached out, grappling at his side of the mattress as if looking for something. A little frown appeared on her lips. 

 Without realizing he’d done it, Harry had taken Ginny’s outstretched hand in his own. In a vice-like grip, the sleeping redhead pulled his arm towards her, almost snuggling it like a child might a teddy bear. Harry didn’t struggle. Instead, he slid himself down to lie level with her. 

 Harry’s heart pounded against his ribs as he looked at his sleeping companion. Clearly, she needed comfort. That was it. And his hand had simply been the nearest thing. The frown on Ginny’s lips had flipped into a smile that felt so out of place for what their lives looked like now. How could he deny her solace? Hell, how could he truly deny her anything?

 Not the time or place, Harry thought, doing his best to clear his mind of her as he closed his eyes. 

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Ginny woke feeling warm. Slowly she opened her eyes -- and was instantly greeted by the sight of dark bedhead and a cute nose. Harry slept soundly in front of her, his mouth agape, a little drool hanging out the right side. Never had drool looked so cute. She looked down at where their hands were linked.

 Damn, I wouldn't mind waking up like this every morning, Ginny thought...though, I certainly wouldn’t mind being snuggled up in his arms...

 She thought back to how she’d gotten into Harry’s bed. They had been planning, and then the comfortable silence had lulled her to sleep. After such an eventful day, it was no wonder that the moment there was the break she’d needed to fall asleep. 

 A knock on their door sent Harry into attack mode in the blink of an eye. He went ramrod straight, eyes locked on the door, one arm blocking her and… where the fuck had he pulled his pistol from?

 “Harry, I can’t find Ginny!” Cho’s panicked tone filtered through the wooden door. Ginny watched Harry’s shoulders slacken as realization registered. 

 “She’s in here with me.” Harry’s voice was rough, and Ginny thought it was due to more than just sleep. His survival instincts seemed to spread to every part of him.  

 “She’s in there with - oh!” Cho’s voice shifted from confusion to amusement. “Oh, I’m glad! I’ll -- um -- give you two a few minutes. I have breakfast ready in the kitchen whenever you’re -- um -- decent.”

 Ginny listened to Cho’s retreating footsteps, her eyes locked on the back of Harry’s head. After a minute, Harry cleared his throat and set his weapon on the side table. When he turned to look at her, his hand unconsciously ran  through his bedhead. 

 “Good to know she’s looking out for us.” Harry gave her a small smile. “How’d you sleep?”

 “Pretty well,” Ginny confessed. “Though, I was surprised about where I woke up.” 

 Harry, God bless him, blushed. “I didn’t wanna wake you.” 

 “I appreciate that.” Ginny pulled the covers off herself before rising. “Well, best not make Cho wait too long or she’s gonna think we’re on round two.” 

 Just like Ginny wanted, Harry turned a darker shade of red before muttering. “Right.”

 Ginny moved around the bed and kissed Harry’s cheek. “Thank you, Harry.”

 “Anytime, Gin.”

 She retreated to the door, pausing with her hand on the handle to look over her shoulder. “Oh, and, Harry.”

 “Yeah?”

 “Next time, feel free to sleep under the covers with me. I don’t bite.” With a wink, Ginny left for her designated bedroom, leaving a stunned Harry behind her. 

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 “So, tell me how long you two have been together?” Cho’s voice finally broke through the awkward silence that had surrounded them for the past ten minutes. They were having a simple breakfast of eggs; Cho kept chickens in a fenced-in area of the yard. Not a word had been spoken since Ginny and Harry had sat down. 

 Why she decided that would be a good ice breaker was beyond Ginny. She was about to deny it, saying she had just fallen asleep talking, when Cho spoke again. “It’s nice to see someone find happiness in this fucking twisted world.” 

 Again, Ginny was about to deny it... until she noticed the giant bags under Cho’s eyes. Clearly, the woman had cried most of the night. Ginny didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth and crush the only thing that had put a smile on Cho’s face. 

 She sent a quick glance to Harry and hoped he’d forgive her. “I agree. It’s important to be with the ones we love.” 

 Harry didn’t speak, but he did give her a confused look as if he were trying to figure out a complex puzzle. But the joy it seemed to bring Cho made up for Harry’s bewilderment.

 After they finished their breakfasts in a more comfortable atmosphere, Ginny offered to help Cho clean up while Harry went to check on the bikes across the street. 

 Ginny took charge of the dishes while Cho cleaned the rest of the kitchen. From her position by the basin, Ginny could look out the kitchen window where Harry was checking the tires of the bicycles. They were simple two-wheeled machines, one in green and the other in red. 

 “It’s so important to be with the one you love.” Cho came up behind Ginny, handing her a leftover cup from the table. She nodded her head towards Harry. “There just isn’t enough time.” The wistfulness of Cho’s expression broke Ginny’s heart in two.  

 She looked back out at Harry. Cho had a point. If something were to happen to Harry or herself and Ginny never told him… a  shiver ran down her spine. That wasn’t something she even wanted to consider. Ginny shifted her focus back to the dishes, but her mind wandered to all the horrible possibilities. 

 Once Ginny had rinsed the last plate, she dried her hands and headed out into the yard where… fuck. What was it about Harry tightening the tire’s screws that was so -- fucking attractive? Was it the way he put his whole body into his project, or maybe it was the lack of shirt presenting her with a great view of tight middle and dark chest hair...

 Either way, hot damn! 

 Harry looked up at her and smiled, which almost sent Ginny to her knees. “Gin, could you see if Cho has an air pump? Only one of the tires needs air.”

 It took a few seconds for Ginny’s brain to reboot after such a crash. She nodded and spun back into the house, her face feeling as if it was on fire. The only thought on her mind was how glad she was that Harry couldn't read minds. 

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Ginny looked around the scenic lane. Long grass rose on either side of the one-car road. She had always loved England for its beautiful sights, and oddly enough, this trip had allowed her to see more of the incredible countryside. In between gunfights, of course.   

 "So." Harry let out a long breath, his legs pumping at a steady pace to her left. "What did Cho tell you before we left?" 

 Ginny thought back on their departure from the cozy village. Cho had pulled her aside and handed her a few final items: An extra bottle to fill water into, a simple knife that would be perfect for protection, and some supplies... for the other kind of protection.

 “Uh -- you know so extra water and a nice knife.” Ginny didn’t think it was prudent to mention the rest of Cho’s care package to Harry, at least for now.

 “Oh, good!” 

 And there was the silence again. It wasn’t their usual comfortable silence. There was something to it that Ginny couldn’t quite place. Every so often, she could see his head turn in her direction. She couldn’t help but wonder if his mind kept drifting back to that morning. She wondered if he couldn’t stop thinking about how perfect it had felt to wake up with her, just like she thought of him. 

 Ginny cleared her throat, forcing her mind to move away from her fantasy. They continued to pedal across the countryside, talking in random intervals, helping to ease  whatever that tension had been. There was no set subject of discussion as they progressed across the land, no limitations. Ginny’s personal favorite topic was who’d had the worst first kiss. 

 “So, she really just started crying?” Ginny asked for the second time. 

 Harry grunted. “Look, it wasn’t my fault.”

 “I mean.” Ginny sent him a quick smirk. “I’ve never kissed someone and felt the urge to cry, so…”

 “She was mad at her ex.”

 Ginny pressed on the brakes, stopping in the middle of the road next to an abandoned Range Rover. “Wait. What?”

 Harry halted his bicycle, his feet skidding on the pavement. He stood from the seat and turned to look at her. “What?”

 “What do you mean she was mad her ex, and what does that have to do with her crying while kissing you?” 

 Harry sighed. He threw his leg over the center bar and hit the bike stand down. “I guess now’s a good a time as any to take a break.” He moved over to the Range Rover and leaned against it. “So, I was at this party with Ron and this girl comes up to me and like -- you know, starts flirting with me.”

 Ginny followed his example, getting off her bike and leaning her back against the SUV. “How old were you?” 

 “Um.” Harry frowned. “I’d say fifteen. Anyways, apparently her boyfriend had broken up with her and she was hoping to make him jealous.”

 “With you?”

 Harry nodded. “She took me into a corner and you know --” Ginny loved the way he blushed. It was adorable that a grown man was still so awkward talking about kissing someone. He swallowed. “Yeah, and so when her boyfriend didn’t come over and knock my lights out, she got upset. She started crying, and yeah.” He ended lamely.

 Ginny considered her options. She could be sympathetic or tease him a bit. If she knew anything about Harry, he was not the type of guy who wanted sympathy. “So, what you’re saying is your moves didn’t make her forget about the rest of the world.” She clicked her tongue.

 It took a few seconds but Harry’s lips twitched. “Well, to be fair it was my first kiss. My moves have improved greatly since then.”

 “Oh?” Ginny quirked a brow at him. “You think you got game?”

 Ginny could practically see the cogs in his mind working overtime. Then he gave her a teasing smirk. “I could... show you my game.”

 Looking back on the scene, Ginny would never be certain about who moved in closer first. Honestly, it could have been mutual. What she could remember was being close enough to see a little dimple on his left cheek that she’d never noticed. She also remembered how the rest of the world had come back into stark reality when an animal growled from the underbrush somewhere to their left. 

 She and Harry jumped apart, looking at the wild dog. The creature’s stance showed it was ready for a fight. Harry looked at her, then back at the beast. “We -- we’d best get out of here.”

 Ginny’s heart fell into her stomach, but she nodded. They moved quickly back onto their bicycles and sped away from the little roadside.

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Seamus thumped hard on Harry’s back. “Great to see ya, mate!”

 “You too, Shay.” Harry patted his friend’s back just as hard. When they separated, Harry turned to Ginny. “Seamus, you remember Ginny?” 

 “Ron’s little sister?” 

 “Not my preferred title,” Ginny muttered for the second time in two days. “But yeah.” 

 Seamus threw his arms around her as well. “Good to see ya too, lass.” 

 “Likewise, Seamus.” 

 After a quick kiss to the cheek, Seamus stepped away from her. “Well, come with me. I’ll give ya the tour.” 

 Ginny walked beside Harry as Seamus pointed out how they’d created the town's defenses. As they walked around, Ginny could feel the difference in the atmosphere compared to London. Every person they passed in Abingdon was smiling and talking to each other. In London, everyone kept their heads down, but here they acted… friendly. Then again, that could have just been because it was London.

 Seamus showed them to a building where everyone gathered for meals. “Tonight's supper is roast beef, so ya came at the right time.” 

 The final stop on their tour was a line of houses all different colors. Ginny would have guessed it had once been a high street. “And this is where I live.” He opened the front door to a small hall. “If you two wanna get settled, your room is upstairs. Dinner will be in a few hours. I’ve gotta go fix the bathhouse. If you get bored, go look for Dean.” He winked at Ginny. “I’m sure you remember him.”

 And with that, Seamus walked right back out the front door. 

 Ginny blinked rapidly. “Dean’s here?”

 Harry’s eyes took on a cool quality. “Like your last boyfriend. That Dean?”

 “I guess so.” Ginny shrugged, hefting her bag up her back. “Come on, let’s put these away so I can check your shoulder.”

“Right.” Harry ran a hand through his hair. “Right.” He paused. “Wait...did he say room?”

[fairycosmos]

If you ever want to discuss what’s wrong with the notion of modern romantic love please i am so down i was literally talking about this last night with a friend

omg thank fuck, you get what i mean. ok honestly i could write essays about this topic lol and this is a sort of unedited/clipped version of my opinion but. ultimately i just think the modern version of love, and of romantic relationships in general, is built on fear and false expectations, and not much else. we're spoon fed from childhood this abstract idea of finding the one, when and how it should happen to you, and why you should build your whole life around it. the concept of it has become so commercialised and overdone that i can't help but wonder what love would feel like if we weren't continuously taught how it's 'supposed' to be. i mean, how does that instinctive emotion naturally culminate, and does it honestly exist? is it even possible to find an organic bond with someone if you're going into every relationship with all of these preconceived notions, even if you don't realise it? if we weren't set up by media and society and the roles that are imposed on us, would we be so desperately inclined to find a 'soulmate', to experience what we believe to be romance? when it comes down to it, people getting into relationships out of necessity, or because they're scared to be alone, or because they think that's what they're 'supposed' to do, or because they need the ego boost (even subconsciously) is the norm. it's convenience, and confusion more than anything else. i dont blame them. it's the way we're raised. it's just that finding a genuine connection and a healthy fostering of it is way rarer than anyone wants to admit. i think that's such a pivotal cause of pain for everyone, at least from what i've seen. this diluted, watered down version of love that we've been sold, devoid of realism and complexity - and often riddled with romanticised unhealthiness - is a pipe dream. i don't believe it's impossible to care deeply for someone, or to be attracted to them, to love them by many definitions of the word but the most common notion of it (to me) seems like the most misconstrued? i don't know, though. what do you think?