#ryan is soooo hot

[just-b-wilde]

I went to the cinema today. I needed to see Colt and Jody on the big screen one more time. I don't regret it.

[kimtranssexler]

When i watched barbie it either once and for all proved that i am only attracted to men or proved that i am bisexual and i genuinely cant tell which one it is

[ckygetsjobs]

dico, ryan, jess, and chad were so hot in the poker game skit I just hope they know I’m on my knees everytime I see them on screen

[frecklystars]

He is so handsome!!!! He is so handsome!!!!! My sweet boy!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺 My Ken is so handsome and for WHAT!!!!!! To give me a heart attack???? god!!!!!! look at his smile!!! he is everything to me!!!! I'd be holding his hand the entire time, telling him how beautiful he is... I'd give him a tour of every city if it meant I could look at my boyfriend's smile all damn day and know it's all for me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💞💓💖💖💗💓💞💕💕💟💝💞

[kindestofkings]

dear john

elijah hewson x singer!reader

(ex!charles leclerc cause hes a hot red flag)

plot: its giving friends to strangers to friends again to lovers 🫶🏼

face claim: laufey <3

warning: spelling mistakes

authors note: this is for the lovely anon who requested a speak now inspired smau ! Hope this is okay?!? I was tempted by doing something on the vibe of speak now the song but imma think on it 🫡

yourusername

liked by charlesleclerc and others

yourusername wow last night on tour was something special 😢 to everyone who sangs my songs back to me and everyone who's supported my little dreams, I LOVE YOU.

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lucydacus killing it !

yourusername luv you <333

phoebebridgers voice of an ANGEL

yourusername ooh stop im blushinggg

charlesleclerc beautiful as always mon ange

ynfan1 post concert blues are toooo real

wagsandstuff

liked by ynfan1 and others

wagsandstuff huh that doesn't look like yourusername to us.... did the couple of 3 years break up without telling us??

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ynfan1 nooooooo that girl on twitter was right ah

ynandcharlesshipper charlessss man don't do this

charlesfan she was always feeding off of him

ynfan2 she has her own career you do know that right? she a really popular singer

ynfan2 not charles cheating on our QUEEN

yourusername just unfollowed charlesleclerc

yourusername just added to their story!

lol gonna go heal my heart I guess lol

replies:

yourmum awh my beautiful girl :( glad you're coming home 💘

↳ can't wait to see you mam

yourbestfriend men are literal pigs.

phoebebridgers he's an idiot, here for you if you need anything

elijahhewson hey I know it's been awhile since we last spoke, but the lads and I are always here for you. I should've been better at keeping in touch, but I'm so sorry this happened to you.

↳ hey E, missed you! I'm just as much at fault, guess we all just got so busy with tours (both so successful heheh). where abouts in the world are you? I'm heading home for awhie maybe we could all catch up?

↳ elijahhewson deadly! myself, ryan and josh are home and bobby is back next week, call around whenever

inhalerfanaccount

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

inhalerfanaccount did you guys know that yourusername is friends with inhaler??? I found all of these oldies while lurking her insta !

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inhalerfan1 bless they're so young, they all must of been friends during school !

inhalerfan2 crazy to think they've all become so successful

ynfan1 wow my two worlds colliding

ynfan2 I've always secretly hoped yn and eli would get together

inhalerfanaccount friends to strangers to friends to lovers hits soooo hard

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername time is a terrifying thing..

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yourmam I could probably find an even earlier pic...

bobbyskeetz I beg please no inhalerfan1 pleaseeeeee

elijahhewson smash x4

joshjenkinson_ the gang getting back together has 2024 winninggg

(liked by yourusername,ryanmcmahon_15 and others)

ynfan1 yesss bitch remind that silly boy who drives in circles of all the hot friends you have !!!

(liked by elijahhewson and others) ynfan2 hahahah eli woke up and choose chaos

yourusername

liked by phoebebridgers and others

yourusername turning all this heartbreak into something good ! dear john is the rawest I've ever been in my songwriting, treat her with love x

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ynfan1 so so incredibly beautiful, thank you for sharing

lucydarcus you're a wonder

ryanmcmahon_15 sobbing uncontrollably and ready to fight him

bobbyskeetz you good bro ?

charlesfan1 tough day to be a charles fan

ynfan2 omg those lyrics are HEARTBREAKING

inhalerfanupdates

liked by eliswife and others

inhalerfanupdates WHO HAS THIS MAN SO SMILEY???

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inhalerfan1 FOR REAL?? hes usually so moody

elijahhewson posted to their close friends!

replies yourusername pure stalker when did you take this pic??

vogue

liked by yourusername and others

vogue with just days before the release of her highly anticipated spohmore album we chatted to yourusername about love, loss and all things in between;

" you dont realise how easy love can be until you're with the right person. its the most annoying thing to hear when you dont have it but some how I was fortunite enough to discover"

find out what else the singer told us at the link in our bio !

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yourusername THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME

ynfan1 shes so happy and in love

ynfan2 how can one person be so talented, smart AND intelligent

charlesfan1 eww cant believe charles used to date her!

ynfan3 love how shes not petty like the leclerc fangirlies clearly still are..

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername a year and a half ago I had my heartbroken, felt completed untethered and so so confused. today I give you my pride and joy!

this album features songs I wrote as a sobbing mess, some I wrote while I was healing and finally some I wrote after I opened my eyes and embraced what I had all along.

I love them all, I love everyone who worked on it with me and I escially love you.

comments have been restricted

yourusername

liked by lucydarcus and others

yourusername one single thread of gold tied me to you <3

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elijahhewson hell was the journey

yourusername but it brought me heaven. bobbyskeetz gross yourusername child

joshjenkinson_ my parents

yourmam my favourite pair !

evehewson sobbing it was always meant to be

phoebebridgers the sweetest love for the sweetest soul

(liked by elijahhewson and yourusername)

ynfan1 OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

finished

authors note: ahh im a broken record with the friends from home trope but its my favourite 🥲 hope you all enjoy, please as always let me know what you think!!

[wasabidottie]

Kenergy (Jschlatt)

A/n: I have been listening to the ai cover of im just ken for a minute and i wanted to write this >soooo< here it is :) Link to the video -> <3 (also my first time writing in 2nd person, so its kinda weird)

Schlatt sat hunched over his desk, fully immersed in the world of Truck Driver Simulator, his audience watching eagerly as he navigated virtual roads and delivered cargo. His gruff commentary and sharp wit kept his viewers entertained, while his fingers deftly controlled the game.

In the midst of Schlatt's stream, the door to his office creaked open, revealing you, his ever-cheerful girlfriend. A glint of mischief danced in your eyes as you tiptoed into the room, carrying a secret plan of action. You hold up a finger to your mouth, signaling chat to stay quiet.

As Schlatt continued to grumble about virtual traffic and in-game mechanics, you connected your phone to his speaker. The all too familiar sound of “I'm just Ken” filled the air, and you couldn't help but stifle a giggle as you saw Schlatt's reaction. Schlatt's brow furrowed slightly as he hears that the voice singing the song was not Ryan Gosling, but him? Your current obsession was any sort of Schlatt AI covers and this one was your favorite. You were just waiting for the perfect opportunity to use it.

He blinked, his fingers momentarily faltering on the keyboard. He exchanged a quick glance with you, confusion etched on his features. But you were already in character, embodying the spirit of the song with playful exaggeration.

As the lyrics started, you couldn't resist the urge to ham it up. Your hands gesturing with flair as you began to act out the lyrics behind his chair with an exaggerated enthusiasm.

"Doesn't seem to matter what I do I'm always number two. No one knows how hard I tried, oh-oh, I-"

Chat immediately caught on, and the messages flooded in:

"COMMON GF W!" "SHE'S SERENADING SCHLATT!" "OMG, I CAN'T BREATHE!"

With a grin, you continued your theatrical performance, your voice rising dramatically as you sang with faux sadness.

"'Cause I'm just Ken. Anywhere else, I'd be a ten Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blond fragility?"

Schlatt’s eyes darted between you and the game, his determination to stay in character wavering just a bit. But you weren't finished. You sang the next line with a twinkle in your eye, directing it specifically at him, teasing him.

"Where I see love, she sees a friend"

Your playful tone didn't escape him, and the chat exploded with excitement

Schlatt’s facade cracked slightly.

“I wanna know what it’s like to love To be the real thing Is it a crime? Am I not hot when I'm in my feelings?”

With an extra flair, you approached Schlatt and, as part of your performance, accidentally hit his arm. He blinked and turned toward you, his eyes narrowing slightly, but you just grinned and carried on with the song.

At some point you rest a hand in his hair. With the tension of the game momentarily forgotten, Schlatt couldn't help but smile. He swatted your hand away, feigning annoyance, but his eyes twinkled with fondness

Schlatt's gaze remained fixed on you, a mixture of bemusement and adoration in his eyes. He couldn't help but feel his grumpy demeanor crack under the weight of your antics and the shared sentiment of the song.

As the song came to an end, the room was filled with silence, save for the soft fading of the music. Schlatt’s stare lingered on you, his emotions caught between fondness and frustration. But before he could react, his truck in the game veered off the road and crashed with a resounding thud.

"FUCK!" Schlatt shouted, his grumpy façade shattering completely as he stared at the digital wreckage.

The chat erupted in laughter, fans typing out a chorus of "F" for Schlatt's virtual trucking misadventure.

Schlatt shot a glare at the chat, his frustration palpable. Then you laughed, walking over to his desk and ruffling his hair affectionately. "I’m sorry, Ken." you say grinning.

He rolled his eyes, but there was a fondness in his gaze that couldn't be denied. "Yeah, yeah, Toots, just don't sing me off the road again.”

[oreo102]

I have like a billion feelings rn and 99% are about dr who, specifically my hatred of 14 and my love of 13 but I’m too tired to make sense of any of it soooo

13 and yaz should’ve hugged more

Whenever yaz is helping fly the tardis 13’s thoughts are just repeating “she is so talented and cool and I love her” over and over

13 thinks yaz with a gun is hot (so do i)

Yaz thinks 13 is hot when she’s angry (same yaz)

Yaz’s family loves 13 and doesn’t believe they aren’t dating

Yaz still struggles with depression sometimes (like has bad days) and whenever she does and is with 13, she does everything in her power to make her feel better

Graham saw the gay looks from day one. Ryan did not

13 doesn’t sleep that much but will lay with yaz whenever asked

Yaz had nightmares and if she wakes up from one she seeks out 13

The mattress is in the control room bc yaz sleeps better around the doctor ( also so 13 can take lil power naps)

13 genuinely tries to improve herself for yaz (like being more open)

Yaz doesn’t push 13 to share but will ask questions

Yaz does not let thirteen be a douche bag to her, and will call her out

[glamoplasm]

this cover art by ryan barry for transformers #10 and void rivals #11 is SOOOO sick sad that it's an sdcc event exclusive. enjoy springer's big swords and springer and hot rod dual wielding btw

[texasbama]

every time the cast or crew share a video of Ryan an angel gets its wings cause the way I’ve seen the most vile things posted about him especially this year from 🙄 “fans” (u know who) and I just get to sit back and laugh bc their faves love him and would absolutely hate them sorry I know we’re in our demure era and not petty era but I gotta giggle

I’ll allow this cause it needs to be said. People wanna hate on Ryan soooo bad and act like he is not adored by his cast mates. Ryan is THEE HOT GIRL. Loved by all the cast and crew. As evidenced by the overwhelming amount of content we’ve gotten of Ryan since s8 production started (and seasons prev as well) and mustache gate began lmao

Likeeeeee I’m sorry our boy is beautiful, talented, funny and has an ass that don’t quit. Sorry people who’ve met/know him only have wonderful things to say about him. Sorry he is the IT girl. 🤷‍♀️

[indicafaeries]

omg the idea of knoxville with a crush on reader who is just so much cooler than he is won’t leave my head. like he doesn’t even know what to do bc they’re always down to do any stunt and everyone always wants to be around them and talks ab how cool she is. i’m thinking she’s probably an og jackass member maybe she grew up with bam and ryan (she obv skates too). i so desperately need him knocked down a few pegs when he realizes the whole co guy act doesn’t work on her. anyways im just yapping now. literallyNy fic genre (fluff/smut hurt/comfort) idc i just need it😭

omggggg i loved this i struggled thinking of stunts and stuff but i hope this is okay!! thank you for the request bff🤭

dude you’re johnny fucking knoxville, be cool

johnny knoxville x cool gn!reader

warnings: dangerous stunts, swearing, alcohol, weed, maybe a little ooc behaviour and slightly suggestive talk 😋

johnnys in love with you cause you’re 20x cooler than him

fluff w a bit of suggestive themes

a/n: sorry this took me a hot sec to write i was going between my grandparents home and my own, also ik johnny can skateboard, just imagine he sucks a little. and with that on with the fic

you sat in the shopping cart, laughing hysterically, you had just been launched through a department store window in one playing the harmonica, johnny was standing near the window, having no prior knowledge of your stunt. “y/n oh my god, where did you come from what? are you okay?” he asks laughing, despite being caught so off guard by your insane entrance. “yeah dude that was nothing, like seriously, you should’ve seen your face though” you say laughing harder, taking his hand as he helps you out of the cart, butterflies flittering in your stomach as his hand grips your waist to help you out. johnny on the other hand was trying not to go red as his hand held yours and his other hand brushed your waist, wondering how you could be so effortlessly pretty and calm after doing a stunt like that.

the two of you walked out of the store, making a quick escape, leaving the mess for Jeff to clean up. he grinned at you “I gotta hand it to you cool cat, that was kinda badass, I certainly wasn't expecting that” you just laughed “yeah yeah I know” you had a cocky smile on your face as you got back to where you n the guys were staying. you'd been doing jackass for almost year now and fuck was it fun, being an og member was the best, people looked up to you and thought you were insane, which wasn't surprising with the stunts you did. you see, the stunts you did were the craziest ones that pretty much no one wanted to do or backed out of, that was like pretty much everyone but Johnny, he was almost as crazy as you were, but everyone knew the only reason he didn't back out was to try and be as cool as you . Johnny secretly really looked up to you and thought you were so cool and daring to do the stunts you did, especially at your age. you were the same age as Ryan and went to school with him and bam, they were your best friends.

“soooo y/n, how did it go, did he fall head over heels?” bam teases as Ryan laughs and joins in “yeah did he cum in his pants when he saw you soar through the air in a shopping cart” “shut up” you say feeling the heat rise to your face, “I'm tellin ya y/n he wants you so bad it isn't even funny anymore” Ryan says taking a swig of his beer, finishing it off “Ryans got a point yk” bam grins. “yeah whatever let’s just hit the skatepark, we won’t have time before the stunt tomorrow” you say stretching while getting up, your HIM skateboard slung under your arm.

johnny, whos sitting watching you with steve-o by his side, admires the way your shirt rises ever so slightly when you stretch, and the way your black sunglasses sit on your face making you look so cool. “fuck i wish i knew what the fuck they’re all talking about” johnny mumbles trying to make out what you, bam and dunn were talking about as you all headed off, “dude if you think they’re so cool, which we all know they are, ask em out, they clearly like you” steve-o chimes in, while munchin down on a sandwich, “i don’t know man, i mean be so real they’re actually cooler than me how am i supposed to even like charm them” johnny replies, making steve-o shake his head “dude you’re johnny fuckin knoxville, be cool” which gave johnny an idea.

you, bam and dunn were all messing around at the skatepark, dipping into the bowl and grinding on the rails. your speakers were blaring HIM as bam sang along poorly and dunn was hyping him up, you sat there shaking your head, with a fresh joint in your hands. you loved the skate park at this time, the warmth from the setting sun and the way its orange glow blanketed the smooth concrete, the lack of people frequenting the park, the soft evening breeze that blew through, as you were admiring all this you noticed a certain familiar tall figure skating towards you, your eyes widened when you realised it was Johnny, and he was headed for the advanced bowl, you found yourself walking towards it curiously, taking a drag of the joint as you sat on the bench next to it, the earthy taste lingering in your mouth, as the smoke danced around you and the weed filled your senses.

you sat there wondering what he was planning since you knew he wasn't the best skater, like sure he knew how to and he wasn't half bad, but he wasn't nearly as good as you or bam, and he certainly wasn't advanced enough for this bowl. now this bowl was similar to most except it was sideways so you could skate up it like a wall. he said nothing but shot you a cocky grin before attempting the advanced bowl, he was going surprisingly well, well that’s what you were thinking till you saw he skate too far up into the wall of the bowl and slip and fall of the skateboard, the board falling next to his head after he hit the ground hard.

you make your way over to him, not able to help yourself from laughing, before you could even ask if he was okay he looks up at you, the remnants of a cocky grin still gracing his face despite the fall, he says “what did you think of that cool cat? personally for my first try at that i’d say i looked pretty cool” you can’t help but laugh at him wiping tears from your face taking a drag from your joint “in your dreams cowboy” you chuckle offering him a hand up and a drag from your joint, though instead of taking it from your hand he just leans down his soft lips against your fingers as he takes a drag from it while you’re holding it. you smile secretly a little flustered from his actions as he blows a smoke cloud around you. “seriously? you didn’t think that was cool?” he asked, you raised an eyebrow at him “you’re gonna have to do more than that to impress me pj” you chime finishing off your joint, feeling the weed haze over your senses. you chuck the butt on the ground stomping it out as dunn and bam spot you guys, walking over to you with mischievous grins on their faces.

“falling for y/n huh?” Ryan teases making everyone laugh, you and bam share a looks before skating over to the bowl “we’ll show ya how its done Knoxville” bam says confidently, before to two of you shred it with ease going up and around the bowl, Johnny unable to tear his eyes off you in awe. as the night settles in the four of you walk back to the hotel, bam and Ryan disappearing once you got there leaving you and Johnny alone, you wondered if bam and dunn did this on purpose, they did. you both decide to go to the hotel bar before bed, the sickly scent of alcohol filling your senses as you walked inside. you looked around taking in the sight of the big bar area, noticing weeman, Preston and Chris in the corner causing a ruckus, you led Johnny over to a quieter spot at the bar taking a seat. drinks began flowing and conversation came on naturally, you can’t help but notice the way Johnny looks at you, the twinkle in his eyes to the smile on his face, maybe it was just the alcohol but he looked genuinely head over heels for you, bam and dunns words from earlier about his little crush swirling in your head.

you could feel the liquor raising your already high confidence deciding to challenge him to a little game. “hey Johnny I bet I could finish these shots quicker than you” you grin knowing very well you could “oh? and what do I get if I win doll?” he asks with a noticeable glint in his eyes “ill be your bitch, but if I win I get to make you my bitch” you were testing him now, the alcohol giving you the push you needed to do this, testing to see if he really did have feeling for you, Johnny was completely surprised you said that, it was obvious from his expression, that doesn't mean he didn't love the idea, “alright, you're on y/n” he lips quirked up into a smirk. you counted down before downing the shots, Johnny moved surprisingly fast like he wanted to win, but not as fast as you. you finish the last shot, fiery whiskey warming your insides as you put the shot glass on the table, Johnny just finishing his off.

“get fucked cowboy, I win” you cheer triumphantly, Johnny looks at you, a look of anticipation in his eyes, “I certainly hope I get fucked” he can't help but mumble out staring at you through those fuck me eyes he does so well. “oh just you wait Johnny, ive been wanting to do this for a while” you smirk looking up at him, bringing your face close to his. “sure its not as long's ive been dreaming about you cool cat” his breath is warm against your face as he leans down, your faces barely an inch apart, you bring your lips to his, your hands wrapping around his neck as one of his hands grips your hair, to other eagerly snaking around your waist, he tasted of whiskey and cigarettes, the kiss made the bar melt away around you. Johnny pulled away for a moment catching his breath as he rests his forehead against yours, “that was better than anything I could've imagined and trust me Ive been imagining, be mine y/n?” Johnny said softly against your lips “with pleasure Johnny, now lets take this upstairs” you smile, beet red and completely in love, “lets.”

[tinycherubb]

Lots of agere art goin on it’s been soooo hots outside lately and there’s some surprise sharpay and Ryan Evan’s high school musical mood boards I made cuz I watching the movies :3

[psychicbergara]

omg why is ryan being so horny with shane this season. i have lost count the number of times he's said something about his body the last two eps. not even counting the 6000 times he mentioned shanes legs in those shorts but "tall drink of water" "our beautiful boy" "get that little ass in there"! its like weirdly sweet?

NO FORREAL!!! he's just saying all these flirty comments and it's insane. especially with how much ryan was commenting on shane's shorts in the dare2escape episode like asldhsdf okay ryan we get it

and tbh it isn't just this season of ghost files where ryan (and shane too) are like this. last season of puppet history they were SOOOO flirty it was actually fucking insane 😭 they were giving 'married but still flirting with each other' energy. i still cant stop thinking about that moment when ryan had his tits out and shane was like oh you unbuttoned your shirt there 👀 and ryan was like yea ill unbutton more if you play your cards right 😏 like you smooth motherfucker SHDFLF

they literally dont give a shiiit what they look like to the audience anymore, theyre giving 'yea we're best friends who flirt and find each other extremely hot and sexy, so what' energy and i LOVE it

[decaydanceredacted]

i think the fact i dont have 2019 DEKC era ryan in my bed rn is a fucking tragedy. i need him so terribly. his facial hair and the way he looks like he's gained just a noticable amount of weight since TYV ended and the white streak in his hair... i need to pull on it.

personally i think his slim little wrist tattoos and big guitarist hands would look rlly hot tied together. palming him through his show clothes until he's sweating out of them and whining for any sort of help. because he's big now, he should be able to take it, right?

he's just as pathetic as he was in 2005 and he still just needs dick so bad its soooo crazy me how much he needs to be fucked even throughout all of his changes... like no matter what he does he still has puppy eyes that want more and more.

he's such a greedy brat (i say, referring to the sweetest boy ever)

.

[ravenadottir]

i started playing season 6, and i've got shit to say for the half of dozen people that are still following me in this cobweb infested blog (i apologize, i'll be explaining what's happening on a different post)

i'm only on day 2 of the season, right when it's announced that roberto is coming (which is so disappointing to me that he isn't brazilian but portuguese, like... WHEN ARE WE GETTING A GOOD BRAZILIAN CHARACTER????)

anyway, here are my thoughts:

WRITING:

i actually didn't see much of a problem with it so far. it feels on par with similar conversations we had in the past, except this time we're getting to know them a little deeper than, say, season 3.

knowing bella's family situation or roberto's is kind of refreshing because we barely learned bobby had a sister on a throwaway scene on s2, so... yeah, it's ok.

i like how they express themselves because as an litg player, i'm used to some eloquence, but as someone who sometimes watches the show i HAVE to suspend my disbelief since i know islanders from the show are just... NOT GOOD AT EXPRESSING THEMSELVES, to say the least.

i like the conversations we had so far, it felt fluid and fun, but then again i've only coupled up with jamal, because obviousoly i did, who would i go for, fucking ryan? WAKE UP.

the challenges piled up but because of how many dialogues we had in this little time i think it worked pretty well.

CHARACTERS:

grace - girl, it's been a day and ozzy is not even that hot. HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF? he's punching, not you. chill. (and i hate they're giving the intensity they gave hope here, feels bitterly familiar and they better fucking knock it off).

bella - FINALLY a girl i like who's available and slutty (affectionate) since the beginning. i absolutely think bella might be right there with talia when it comes to arc as an LI, but we'll see. if anyone dares stealing her or if fusebox even make the slight suggestion of a slowburn i'm burning their HQ idc

ivy - alright i see you bootleg marisol, but i don't give a shit, you're annoying, die in a hole.

amelia - i think she's putting a front and deflecting the negative attention to ivy but that's just me. also, the twist of the public choosing who she should couple up with before she could tell us is extremely dumb and unnecessary, but also a reason for her to say a different name later, maintaining her image of good sister. i don't trust her, i WILL step on her head to the finale, die in a pit you're also annoying.

jamal - i like the attention but everything with moderation gives me way more tingles than a crybaby that can't stop talking about how he wants to be with me again. we were coupled up for a few hours and only had one conversation, chill bitch. it's giving ted mosby and every himym fan knows how bad that is. i'm not sure if every guy that the public chooses to be with amelia on night 1 acts the same, but i'm slightly turned off. it's too much boy, calm down, i'm here to be a slut, calm down.

ryan - get a haircut or let it grow because looking twelve and the coolest lesbian at the same time is not the look for you. its giving hipster with a chemistry kit at the local café.. also, either you're the douchey musician or a bad poet, you can't be both, PICK A STRUGGLE.

lewie - the impersonation of being stuck in traffic. i don't care for you, die in the same hole as ivy and amelia.

ozzy - fucking pulling the noah, man. i've seen this before and i'm not interested. stop being such a coward and tell grace how you feel. i know for a fact you're gonna be drama and it's because you refuse to be honest. it's so embarrassing, bestie.

roberto - HOT. i only saw the preview but i'm excited.

PACING

it's great. i think it was kind of weird how fast and furious it was with some previous seasons (remember the last season i played was 3 and half of 4 {it was soooo tedious i gave up half way through}) but i think so far it's ok. it definitely has better cliffhangers than other times when they thought they tried their darnedest.

OBSERVATIONS WITH SCREENSHOTS:

there's no fucking way they thought these were worth diamonds. and 22 diamonds for that frufru purple shit??? it looks like something who doesn't sew would put together with a hot glue gun, stop.

ivy i might kill you like they kill one of those vampires at the end of the twilight saga, by opening your mouth so wide it cracks off your skull. SHUT - UP.

and amelia... you're irrelevant, get out.

BUDDY, YOU'RE THE MOUTHPIECE OF THE GROUP NOW, HOLY SHIT. grace has me on my knees, i can't.-

bitch, we did! i kissed you in the challenge. EXCUSE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF! (also, for the breasts appreciators, i feel you, boobs are great, really! but like, those... two... lines... coming out of the bikini???? yeah, that is actually what gets me. you didn't need to know but i told you anyway, because i'm happy bella is hot and cool and i don't know how to shut up when i'm love, leave me alone!) whoever designed her knew EXACTLY what they were doing.

I LOVE GRACE. I JUST DO.

i'll give ryan some cool points because 1, he burned ivy in front of everyone, and 2, he admitted and owned up to it. good for you, bestie, good luck when you take a trip to the hair salon and get rid of that... hair. also, STOP SKIPPING LEG DAY BUDDY. from the waist up it's giving "abs, hot, i go to the gym", from the waist down is giving "i'm twelve and there's a reason i go to the beach in pants".

bella and grace looking naked and glamorous but feeling threatened by this ugly ass dress is the funniest joke in the writing so far. truly. i've had mermaid costumes at 4 years of age less embarrassing than this atrocity. stop lying, bella and grace, YOU'RE BOTH NAKED AND PERFECT.

and that's what i have to say so far. i'll continue playing this season until they inevitably fuck up. i'm not being pessimistic, i'm just... well, i guess i am. but i have no reason to believe otherwise.

also, i keep forgetting ozzy is here even though it's been a day. idk why.

anyways, i'll come back with more litg brain rot in a bit.

[totaldrama-showdowns]

Submissions for the Non-Human Showdown! Including ones that are invalid!

Fang (x2)

“🦈🦈🦈”

“He's Fang ❤”

Cody Jr (x2)

“Cody Jr! No! Not Aunty Heather!”

Mr Coconut (x2)

“The og. Should have won every season /serious”

vince the alligator (x2)

“SWEEEEP”

“The lore… so immaculate”

the don box (x2)

“bzzz i have a stupid fucking clue for you. ah fuck the interns put me in a lame outfit again”

“what id don on about he's slaying in that shirt”

wt pineapple (x2)

“ALEPINEAPPLE FOREVER!!!”

“👅🐍🐍🐍🐍”

Irene the fish (x2)

“shes so beautiful i’d kiss her too”

“The final remaining member of Team Victory after DJs elimination, Irene went on to win the million and the hearts of many.”

the chrarry baby (x2)

“Goo goo gaa gaa”

“ive got my eye on u chris mclean”

Princess Beth Doll

“I WANT TO BUY ONE SO BAD IRL!!!!! Also, this too is yuri”

Old Jester from reboot S2ep9

“I love when Damien hugged him! That's scene is soooo cute. Also I love fluffy animal!”

Bobo :)

“SEASON 2 SPOILERS Bobo is the name of the bear that had the Raj mask in season 2 episode 12 :) idk I just think he’s silly”

DJ’s bunny

the Chris-shaped cake that Julia's group made

“I wanna eat that thang”

Dramarama Cody

“He's an alien”

Theodore (MK's stuffed unicorn)

(the arts and crafts) Shed (from season 1)

“shed sweep”

that evil little seal from wt

“sooo little and evil. who can hate him”

caleb rock

“possibly the best version of him out there”

the skull duncan carved for courtney

“you cant deny how iconic it was”

eva’s mp3 player

“the most important character in td history”

heather’s various hairstyles

“possibly the most diverse and versatile entity in td historu”

pahkitew island

“The best one”

Myself

“:^)”

ryan seacrests car

“very fast”

chef's car (total dramarama and gen 4)

“MY CAR!!!!!”

alien clone cody

“AAAAAAA*explodes into green goo*”

chris's wig

“wiggin”

heather's wig

“wiggin”

total drama yum yuk happy go time candy fish tails

“You ate it!”

trents five finger shirt

“5”

princess courtney CD

“all the greatest hits!”

owens butt

“fart”

anne maria’s hair style

“Ey im walkin here”

bridgettes surfboard

“BONK”

the fake antlers from the paintball ep

“Duncney”

manitobas fedora

“served!”

beary <3

“it’s LITERALLY beary”

ripper’s world record breaking fart

“he did it”

the portrait of cody as blue boy in wt

“funny looking”

sierra’s pizza box-cum-laptop*

“she uses the internet AND eats witj it. shes a genius”

*Mod Note: this refers to cum meaning: combined with; also used as (used to describe things with a dual nature or function).

waynes accent

“Eh we play hockey eh”

mal ventriloquist doll

“aaah im evil mal doll”

alejandro puppet

“we do a little trolling”

Chef 2.0

“He made him from a cashew”

Mt. Kīlauea

“She has the mercy to have her lava not hot enough to kill Alejandro, Ezekiel, and that random intern like... Everyone say "thank you" or somethin idk. Do you think she feels bad that Alejandro ended up in a robot suit because”

Immunity idol s4-5

“They ruined it's design in the reboot boooooooo”

MK's infernape

“Listen, she's a gamer and she's based. She would totally pick chimchar in bdsp. She probably hates people who tells her to "play platinum" because that was a game made for old people.

Try and exclude this submission, I dare you. There's nothing that says I can't submit theoretical non-humans. There's a non-zero chance that MK has an Infernape and I know it's been raised to have some awesome sneaky move. If you exclude this, I bet you'd allow "Mike's Torterra" because only a grass type fan would be a fire type and MK hater!!

Julia would keep her piplup unevolved and beat her console into tiny bits when she gets to Cynthia btw”

the drone of shame

“[picks up victim and flies away] wheeee”

that giant bowl of rice they fall into in japan

“mm giant bowl of rice”

noah’s dog

“his epic dog”

celine dion cardboard cutout

“love fucking wins #duncney”

the face huggers from Area 51

“rip tyler”

ezekiel MISSING milk carton

“Sad! He died.”

the eagle chris shot and killed

“someone arrest this man. again”

the confessional

“it’s always there for you”

geoff’s splinter

“OW”

the bread from codys pants

“man i need to rewatch island. i fucking love the pants bread”

That ice cream snowman from SMS

“LISTEN. JUST BECAUSE HE IS FROM THE EPISODE THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN NOT GIVE HIM HIS RESPECT”

bear

“the one from raptear specifically. let's go lesbians”

that pizza chase threw the challenge for

“clearly he should be with it rather than emma. chemma? chipper? chazee? nope never fucking heard of them”

Momma's Spice

“*sprinkles it on op's head* mmmm tasty”

The Gilded Chris award

WT barf bags

“give a real f to those guys. never appeared after episode 7.”

the toxic marshmallow of loserdom

“killer of staci's hair”

The lavatory confessional

“bitch is iconic. 6/8 is a passing mark!!!”

Courtney's PDA

“why wouldnt they call it a phone idk but its so camp”

The Cassowaries

“Male cassowaries are responsible for raising the young. We love an involved father.”

Fire-breathing winged mountain goats

“You could make an Undertale reference with this (also they're really cool)”

Giant Beetle

“Dott shippers will like this one”

Mutated Maggots

“They're pretty cute!”

Six-Legged Rats

“ADORABLE EEEEEEEP!!!!”

scott bird

“what a beautiful bird”

Chef's car

“It may play a role in mkulia canon”

Gethin

that rainbow porridge in episode 8 of the reboot

“aw hell naw chris cookin up the gay porridge”

The cassowary that fell in love with Zee

“We love an iconic single mother looking for love”

The rat in the cargo hold that appears on screen for 0.5 seconds during Ezekiel's solo in "Come Fly With Us"

“That rat really carried the whole song. Iconic. Astounding. Never before seen talent. Lady Gaga is shaking in her Demonias.”

The Erymanthian Boar

“It wrecked Duncan's shit in Greece.”

The dock of shame

“So many teens walked on her, i think she deserves some recognizion”

gwen's blender necklace

Zoey's hamster (Miss Puffycheeks)

“It's cute and can punch a cat, need I say more?”

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hi, I Just read Devil in Winter and OMG what a book, I wasn't expecting the level of care taking Sebastian was doing with Evie but I absolutely loved it, can you please recommend books with that kind of dynamic? Of the hero being like that?

And also now that I have the courage to así lol do you have books with the classic he's a super grumpy man but has a soft spot for her?

Hiii Devil in Winter is an amazing book! It's one of those novels where you totally get why it's a classic. Hot, romantic, well-written, and yes! I agree, the caretaking is something you don't expect and frankly don't get from a lot of rake books especially.

And also, don't be worried about asking me for recs, I have anon on for a reason, if I have recs to give I will always give them!

Caregiver Heroes:

When a Duke Loves a Woman by Lorraine Heath. Historical. Just read this, and it actually has mutual caretaking! The heroine is a lower class tavern owner who begins by discovering the hero (a duke lol) after he's basically been mugged and is badly hurt. She nurses him back to health (not like breastfeeding nursing despite his best efforts but you get me) and he can't quit her so he comes back and ends up taking care of HER after she gets a concussion and is very like "you deserve nice things, let me show you what it's like to not have to take care of yourself all the time".

Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath. Historical. One of Lorraine's best, about a widow and a lower class scoundrel who becomes the guardian to her son (a baby duke). Olivia is super in charge and though her husband wasn't mean he never gave her the attention or care she needed. Jack really takes over (while not undermining her) and becomes this loving father figure to her son, and she's resistant at first because they dislike each other, but she gradually caves and lets him care for them--and when she gets sick??? Oh, dude. He is CARING for her, including a scene where he has to put her in an ice bath and it's sooo good. TW for discussions of childhood sexual abuse.

Surrender to the Devil by Lorraine Heath. Historical. Follows the previous one, is more about psychological caretaking. The hero is a duke who wants to take the lower class heroine as his mistress, but she has a lot of trauma (TW: childhood sexual abuse) and is super independent. It's another one where he has to basically convince her to let him care for her, and it's big on recovery and tenderness.

Never Seduce a Scot by Maya Banks is a medieval romance with these vibes, for sure. The hero and heroine are in an arranged marriage, and she's deaf, so a lot of people think she was set back mentally by an accident she had years ago (which actually just caused her deafness). The hero is super gentle with her, and though he's attracted to her he initially is resistant to being with her because he doesn't believe she has the capacity to consent. He's actually a very sweet guy, despite being a warrior lol. They develop this very tender relationship where he takes such good care of her and understands her in a way nobody else does.

Reel by Kennedy Ryan is a contemporary I wanna recommend because the heroine has lupus and the hero is her director (she's an actress, and he's giving her her big break). He is soooo caring, and he was actually a caregiver for his mom before she died. The heroine is resistant about being vulnerable about her condition, but man, it's lovely.

Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas is a historical, came after DiW. The hero and heroine were childhood friends, and he actually took care of her when she had scarlet fever, while she took care of him after an incident that made him super ill. His issue is actually that he doesn't want to hurt her, and he thinks he will if they have sex, because her body is still weak after she recovers. So he rejects her, and she comes back from Europe after a couple of years much stronger. So you get a different take--he's so caring, but that makes him hold himself back from her physically.

Waking Up with The Duke and The Earl Takes All by Lorraine Heath are two of her more well-known historicals (the "local mask asks hero to impregnate his wife" book and the "hero pretends to be his identical twin to spare twin's wife the shock" book). They're both, as Lorraine often writes, focused on heroes who sort of try to show the heroine a different side of life, a different level of tenderness. The hero of Waking Up with The Duke like, rubs the heroine's back and feet. The Earl Takes All has a hero who gives the heroine this different level of affection and tenderness than what she got from her husband, etc.,

Forget Me Not by Julie Soot, again if you're open to contemporary, is a second chance romance between this driven wedding planner heroine and the florist hero who just really wants to take care of her and give her a soft place to land--which is hard for her to accept.

The Rakess by Scarlett Peckham has a heroine who's super independent and controversial, and she begins an affair with this lovely single father widower intending to love him and leave him, but he wants to show her tenderness!!!

Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage by Jennifer Ashley is a second chance romance between an estranged husband and wife, and he wants to rebuild the marriage while she doesn't trust that he can, essentially, give her the emotional support she needs. He spends the book trying to prove it to her!

As for the grumpy hero, absolutely! Try:

What I Did for a Duke by Julie Anne Long. Classic, lol, he's so grumpy and he initially is trying to seduce the heroine to get revenge against her brother, but quickly develops a major soft spot for her.

After Dark with The Duke by Julie Anne Long. Another "he's starchy. and grumpy and withholding" book--and initially, he's that with her too, but he gradually softens and she becomes like, the light of his gloomy life, etc.

The's Perfect Wife by Jennifer Ashley has a hero who's so known for being grouchy and aggressive, but when his ex-fiancee comes back into his life he is immediately so into her again, and she's the only one who can really stand up to him and break down his walls. An all time favorite!

In Which Matilda Halifax Learns the Value of Restraint by Alexandra Vasti. This has a very shy yet very horny heroine who runs afoul of the stern hero, who everyone finds scary--but she doesn't. So good!

The Duke Who Knew Too Much by Grace Callaway. Stern, cold hero who everyone basically thinks committed a murder, lol, but while he and the plucky heroine are initially at odds, she quickly worms her way into his heart.

Managed by Kristen Callihan is a contemporary, but I'd so recommend checking it out. The hero is the uptight manager of a rock band everyone is kind of scared of--the heroine is the whimsical photographer he hires to chronicle the band's tour. They begin this weird arrangement where she sleeps in his bed platonically because he needs her to help with is insomnia lol.

The Truth About Cads and Dukes by Elisa Braden is a marriage of convenience book with a hero who's super stuffy and stern, but ends up falling for his wife despite his best efforts. And becomes OBSESSED.