#sad that lief is gone :(

[ask-team-misfit]

@the-sun-rises-in-the-south Vi@Lief

Vi: "Hey, you alright? You seem pretty shaken, and you reek of anxiety"

The Zerakrom seems concerned.

[ @the-sun-rises-in-the-south ]

Lief: “Never better, aside the stench of blood. Sorry, sarcasm.”

[ ID: A grayscale bust drawing of Lief slightly angled away from the viewer towards the left. He looks sad or concerned, appearing to have some troubling thoughts he's refusing to speak of. He's looking away to the right. Lief's appearance is as described here. End ID ]

Lief: “Look. I’ll be fine, really. If anything, th-there’s–”

He was silent for some moments. He seemed to battle an assortment of second thoughts before he sighed and finished his sentence.

Lief: “Other people, to worry about… I’m gonna go.”

He must have been thinking about her for a while–he stood up shortly after uttering the latter, careful not to look at anyone else as he went over to retrieve the scarf and put it on.

Lief: “Don’t make a mess while I’m gone. Or better yet, leave. You’re all stinking up the place.”

He’d quickly leave before anyone could presumably respond, emerging from a dry and comfortable lie into a wet and distressing world.

[ to be continued… ]

Lief is temporarily unavailable for asks.

[withickmire]

The Forests of Silence Wrap Up

Just some miscellaneous thoughts I had along the way. Continued under the cut, because it ended up being really long:

How the Rule may affect people outside of the royal family: I spent way more time on the prologue than the rest of the book--so much happens that it really could have been expanded into a whole book on its own. What really caught my attention during this particular reread were the several allusions to brutality towards the nobility carried out by (or, more likely, on behalf of) the royal family.

At King Alton's funeral, Jarred overhears two noble women talking about Endon succeeding his father and becoming king, with one woman remarking on Endon's youth. What she says is completely neutral--Endon is young. But her companion sees that Jarred is near, knowing how close he is to Endon, and she quickly gets the first woman to be quiet, all while looking scared. What reason would she have to be afraid? What does the Rule say about nobility who speak ill of the royal family? Or--like these woman--could be perceived as even mildly questioning them? Jarred makes a point of looking away from them, implying that he knows the answer to these questions, and he is trying to ease their fears, as if he is aware that, yes, something terrible could happen to the two women if a different person had overheard.

Also, when Jarred flees the palace, he is certain that he will be killed if he is caught. While it isn't surprising that being accused of trying to kill the new king might certainly lead to his execution, he clearly believes that he would be killed immediately, without imprisonment or trial, suggesting that something like this has happened before, and Jarred is aware of how it ended.

Jarred and Endon: As Jarred watches Endon put on the Belt he sees him as no longer as 'a young boy with sad eyes'. How long did Jarred see him this way? Of course Endon would be sad--his parents just died, but I feel like this is a heavier statement. I'm glad that Endon had Jarred, I can't imagine how lonely and isolated he would have been without him, and how he must have felt those things once Jarred was gone.

I'm curious about their ages in the prologue. As stated above, Endon is said to be 'young', but how young? He's mentioned as too young to have a beard. So is he younger than Lief, who was sixteen or seventeen when he became king? Seven years later, both he and Jarred have wives, and children on the way, and seem to be at whatever the appropriate age in Deltora is for that.

It's so interesting to see Jarred, knowing what we know about Doom. He's so clever, and always looking out for the people he loves. Even with all the changes he goes through, that is always consistent for his character.

This is probably a case of me needing to suspend my disbelief, but it's always bugged me that Jarred was able to see Endon's arrow from the Forge. Like, there's no way.

Lief: I adore Lief's opening scene. It shows the reader so much about Del under the occupation, but it also says so much about him. He's so earnest and endearing! He's so cute with his friends, I wish we had more of that. Also the way he's so proud of once having eaten an apple is a really effective way of showing how children who grew up under the occupation would see it all as the norm. It's terribly sad.

Magic: Gorl's whole Alphonse Elric situation seems to be a combination of Shadow Lord influence and the magic of the Lilies. We know he has been there well before he became Guardian of the Topaz, and I wonder if sustaining him for centuries was part of the Shadow Lords many 'plans within plans'--he could be called upon if needed. His 'immortality', if you can call it that, isn't his only power--he is able to compel Lief and Barda's bodies, and control the vines and trees. The Lilies clearly possess some magic, even when not in bloom, so I wonder how much influence both forces had.

Final thoughts: I probably have the most feelings of nostalgia for this one. The prologue in particular has lived in my mind for so long. The whole book is such a strong way to introduce the trio, and to kick off the series.

See you in The Lake of Tears!

[raxistaicho]

Are we not Engaged? Part 12.

Celica paralogue first!

Spoilers under the cut.

Where’s all the enemies, lol. Oh there they are. I’ll do this one later :’)

On to Sigurd’s instead!

Sigurd spawned a bunch of soldiers and then he proceeded to run out ahead of them so I just bopped him. Lore accurate to FE4, but it sure made the map easier :p

Seems Yunaka is so accustomed to lying that she does it when not necessary T_T

Hortensia Alcryst C: Alcryst asks Hortensia to teach him how to be more confident, but he refuses, which surprises her. She was trying reverse psychology, but uhh... Alcryst.

Alcyrst Saphir B: Alcryst fished quite well, probably because of his quiet nature. It seems he’s so interested to learn how to fish because he wants to cook something special for his mother, as fish is her favorite food. Alcryst is a good boi.

Lief paralogue time!

Aaaaaand it’s based on the infamous Thracia bridge chapter, of course :’)

Oh christ it even has all the status staves.

Wow those status staves and ballistae were pretty lethal lol. I had to seriously abuse Sigurd, Celica, and Lyn here.

Chloe Hortensia B: Mostly just them being cute together, heh. Hortensia’s trying to studying Chloe’s maternal-ness, and Chloe keeps doting on her.

Yunaka Zelkov B: Mostly just Yunaka helping Zelkov to understand how obvious he is about being a killer. There’s an interesting part where she says he’s obviously positioning himself to counter a knife thrust from her dominant hand. I really like how casually she can reference her old life in discussion.

Back to the plot!

Another consecutive map. I better not lose all my Emblems again after this >:(

Seems like Mauvier and Marni are set to change sides. Marni’s not happy tho.

Sombron’s trying to restore his lost land from under the sea. Lumera mentioned it at the start of the game. Sounds like Gradlon is pretty bad. Sombron apparently has to destroy a Divine Dragon shard in Lythos. Oh he plans to invade other worlds somehow. Eesh. Guess that might explain how nobody knows where he came from.

So the reason Zephia kept calling Veyle a “defect” is because she can’t summon Emblems. Veyle’s lived in hiding ever since Sombron fell, all alone for fear of her life.

Marni’s upset about how terrible Veyle’s life has been. So Mauvier’s fully aware of how miserable Veyle’s life has been since Sombron returned but he didn’t bother actually acting on any of it. She asked him to be her knight but he watched and did nothing as Zephia twisted Veyle’s mind and turned her into something she’d never want to be. Fucking useless.

Marni was abandoned by her mother because she had a lot of siblings, so that’s why she has such an issue about wanting acceptance. I don’t care, this came way too late after her acting horrible for the entire game.

These two both suck. All the Four Hounds suck.

Eww, Lythos’s gotten all rotten. Pretty sad.

“Self-serving???” Shut the fuck up Zephia you bitch.

Oh no Veyle’s dressed up like a... fucking bat or something XD

The stupid helmet is clipping through Veyle’s headpiece.

Marni: This is what you’ve been trying to do to her? Can the other Lady Veyle return?

YOU CALLED GOOD!VEYLE, “THE BORING ONE,” YOU USELESS IDIOT.

Did the writers fucking write Marni’s scenes out of order?

Holy shit Zephia mentions that Evil!Veyle is only permanent while the helmet is attached, christ what a stupid bitch XD

“This has gone too far,”

Ah yes, slaughtering a whole town is one thing, but being cruel to just Veyle? YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR, ZEPHIA!

The protagonist-centered morality is real, guys.

Marni’s gonna try to smash the helmet. But because she announced her intention Veyle just blocked it lol. Oh shit, Zephia just shanked Marni. Killing a child like that is pretty brutal. Mauvier looks less upset and more like he’s trying to go super saiyan.

God dammit, Veyle, stop flashing Marth like I care about him, lol. Alear, keep a close eye on your pockets this time! Oh, holy shit Mauvier’s QUITE strong.

This map was kinda boring, it was just managing enemies coming from all sides.

Good Veyle’s back!

“This can’t be possible!” This is like the 2nd time you were sure Good!Veyle was gone for good...

Eeeyyy Veyle’s giving us Marth back :3

Sombron big mad. Where the hell were you all this time, idiot lol. Alear got blasted because she decided to facetank the attack lol.

Evidently this is the second time Sombron killed Alear.

Oh shoot, we lost :( Wasn’t expecting a bad ending lol.

Oh wow Alear’s fuckin’ ded :U

Dragon Sombron is less impressive outside pre-render.

Ey, Alear’s dragonstone - oh it broke. Oh yeah she’s totally fucking dead lol. So what BS is gonna bring her back, is it miracle time?

Oh apparently Sombron nabbed the Emblem rings off-screen. Sombron getting infinite power apparently means getting fuckin’ huge lol. Oh Evil!Veyle’s back lol. Guess it’s time for Veyll to do something impressive? Oh nvm, Evil!Veyle’s back. Joy.

Is it time for another escape map? :p

Oh flashback to Red!Alear. Holy shit lol, Sombron blasted the shit out of Red!Alear. Oh yeah callback to the “birthday gift”

Pretty field of flowers :3

Alear’s in the afterlife. Veyle’s there too, what? A personality dying sends it to the afterlife?

Veyle’s wanted Sombron’s acceptance for years but he never gave it. And now she just wants to give up and pass on with Alear. T_T

Alear has the brilliant plan of Veyle going back and then reviving Alear as a corrupted since she seems to make perfect ones. This scenario is bizarre lol.

Alear and Veyle together are pretty cute. Alear’s voice actress remains good.

Of course when we go back to Evil!Veyle she’s laughing maniacally, lol.

Believe in the Alear who believes in you, Veyle!

Breaking the helmet returned Veyle’s wardrobe to normal lol. Anyways, bye Evil!Veyle, don’t let the door hit you on the ass.

Mauvier’s realized he’s useless lol.

And then Alear was a zombie!

“Ask me a question only the real Alear would know the answer to!”

Alear summons Marth, but he’s red, like a Dark Emblem. Looks like we’re doing a defense map? Oh no I have to find the Emblem Rings scattered across the battlefield and bring Alear to them.

Alear being a corrupted doesn’t really change anything about her gameplay wise, so that’s kinda lame.

I got Veyle so I just put Byleth on her. Dragon tag is good.

Chapter 22 and 21 drag, too many reinforcements from the sides of the screen.

Alear’s dying again, roflmao.

Veyle main character rise up!

Don’t go into the light, Alear!

Miracle time!

And then Alear was a Divine Dragon!

No wait, and then Alear was an Emblem!

Alear’s blue

Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di

Oh Alear actually looks much plainer without the red in her hair. Weird that I actually got used to her stupid colgate hair.

the “birthday present” ring again, what did Lumera know this would happen? But how would she?

The Emblems all sacrificed themselves after this lol

So Alear fucking died and came back to life twice in two chapters. What even was the point of chapter 22? It’s like they wrote this scene around having big emotional moments rather than doing what made sense.

Shaking!

Big ugly landmass all around Lythos

Veyle Alear C: Veyle’s trying to apologize for her past actions but Alear reassures her it wasn’t her fault. Veyle wants to be stronger.

Alear Seadall B: Seadall’s upset about wanting to eat a really bad for you sounding fried dough meal lol. As usual he’s very disciplined about his craft and takes his duties seriously. Alear feels bad for not being able to reassure him.

Celine Fogado A: They feel a similarity between them due to wanting to support their siblings - by any means necessary. Celine’s the cutest little Hubert there ever was.

Celine Hortensia A: Hortensia gives up the competition and concedes defeat to Celine, but Celine tells Hortensia she finds her plenty cute. T E A.

Celine Jean A: Jean’s struggling over his studies, Celine suggests a tea break as a de-stresser. She admits that tea’s helped her overcome moments where she feels overwhelmed. Jean feels better afterward.

Chloe Seadall A: Seadall’s master died protecting him. He and Chloe dance together.

Ivy Hortensia B: Hortensia’s mother was one of Hyacinth’s concubines. She had a very strong, bright disposition that eventually won over Ivy’s mother, who at first hated her and the other concubines (Ivy’s mother was Hyacinth’s lawful wife). Hortensia’s mother did it for Hortensia - Hortensia thanks Ivy for telling her.

Seadall Alcryst A: Alcryst apologizes for getting Seadall to bring up bad memories from their B support, but Seadall reassures him that though the caravan life had hard times, he doesn’t regret the life he lived. He asks Alcryst to ask him for more stories, and Alcryst emphatically agrees. Really good support chain!

Seadall Veyle C: Seadall’s fortune telling seems out of whack, which is a problem since Veyle has been really tired lately and hoped a fortune might help her overcome it. She pressure Seadall to try anyways, and he says she’ll find fortune if she goes to market and acts like a cat. Wtf, roflmao.

Roy paralogue time!

Oh shit it’s the sealed shrine.

Oh shit all the wyverns are there. They left out the paladins, thankfully.

Roy’s passive that keeps him alive through lethal damage is freaking annoying.

Turns out you can 2-turn Celica’s paralogue lol.

Alear Hortensia B: Hortensia’s still trying to be cute lol. When Alear asks why Hortensia’s so obsessed with being cute, Hortensia says she learned charm had power from seeing how her mother won over the court by weathering abuse with poise and cheer. Alear proposes Hortensia’s mother did it partly so Hortensia could learn how to survive court. It just kinda stops there.

Alear Fogado B: Seems Fogado is a diligent trainer, but he likes maintaining his easy-going reputation, so he can keep others at ease.

Seadall Yunaka A: Yunaka’s getting some last-minute stage fright. Seadall reassures her by quoting lines from their performance (about trust in the face of uncertainty) under a new context. This support line was reeeeaally cute, really enjoyed it :)

Seadall Rosado B: Seadall just follows Rosado around on his morning routine, only to discover Rosado really does have no particular beauty regiment XD

Alcryst Saphir A: The subject turns to fucking Morion, so bleh, support ends on a shitty note.

Alcryst Citrinne A: Alcryst empathizes with Citrinne’s self-worth issue, and he says her strong will to grow stronger inspires him and makes it easy to trust him, and that her volunteering meant a lot to him. Really cute :)

Alcryst Fogado B: Fogado wonders if the differences between them has something to do with their different upbringing. It seems the root of Alcryst’s self-esteem issue is being constantly compared to Diamant all his life.

Clanne Framme A: Clanne’s upset over the whole pamphlet debacle. She reassures him he’s a true Alear fan anyways. I forgot how bad the Lythos-character supports were roflmao.

That’s all for now!

[here-come-headcanons]

Allie: I want to see my little boy.

Nick, holding Travis: Here he comes.

Allie: I want to see my little boy.

[noellevanious]

just wanted to do a quick little spiel i guess. if i ever come off as too.. flirty i guess. or too forward. or anything like that...

i spent 24 years hating myself, rarely being able to see myself recorded or pictures of me without reflexively going "why am i so ugly? why don't i look right? does everybody else feel like this? how are they all so confident?".

it didnt help that i also spent most of my lief with the only compliments from people that werent blood related being "i like your hair", and i've been decidedly single my entire life. sure i've kissed another person, and i've had sex once, but like. i've still been without that kinda companionship most of my life. nobody to reassure me that the "me" they see is beautiful and all that.

it wasn't until last year when i realized that. hey. yeah. there is something "wrong" with me. that's not "normal". it's not what most people experience - at least, cisgender people. this "me" isn't meant to be me. that alone made so much of a difference for my mental and emotional health. to be disgusted about every part of your self and not feel right in your own skin.... it's so hard. and it hurts you for so much of your life.

even though i still look the same, i havent changed too much physically (i'm only 5 months into hrt with just estradiol, no t blockers), right now isn't as important as when i realize the "ideal" me. i'm personally happy to have a me to look forward to. a me that can wear clothes and feel comfortable in her own body. a me that doesnt cringe just thinking about my face, or my name, or my body.

and i know a lot of other people go through exactly that kind of pain and sadness and lack of confidence. if youre my friend and trans or going through any kind of gender stuff. that's why i talk like i do. because i want you guys to be happy too! you deserve it. going through life as long as we do is insanely hard, almost insurmountably painful. when you make the realization and start taking steps towards the Ideal You, even if you still look a little weird, or odd, or not right to yourself, to me and to a lot of other transgender people the fact that you've gone for so long not knowing who the Real You is, and now you have the confidence to share that with people around you and the love and trust to let them see you that way too.

that's also why i appreciate everybody that complimented me when i posted that selfie. because i know youre all genuine in your compliments. it means so much to hear that after years of feeling like i'm this weird little fucked up creature that doesn't really belong to be a in world where so many people are happy and confident in themselves.

[chunkecheeks]

Finally went to the Mexican marketplace and rode grab fiesta tour! Also was sad to find the Lief Erickson wax figure is no longer in the Norway pavilion BUT I’m pretty sure this statue is lief so he is not gone. Also pictured are the mini village from the Germany pavilion and an ibis who was harassing people

[lightthatwontfade]

Okay hi hello! This is my first time posting my writing on this blog, and my first time writing something creatively in months. So, I’m sorry if this is trash. Sometimes you just have to write out your shower thoughts, I guess, lmao.

This is for @korvanjund​​ 25 Days of TES Cheer! Day 1 is Snow! My participation was a last minute decision, so I’m sorry fi I’m late on every single one of these, lol.

The day was surprisingly nice for mid-Evening Star. The Companions, much like the rest of Whiterun’s residents, were determined to make the most of the sunshine and warmth, so they moved their usual shenanigans outside. The twins and Aela were taking turns sparing with one another; Njadaa and Athis were engaged in their usual bickering, and Ria, occasionally interjecting in their conversation, was polishing her sword. Even Tilma had taken some time to enjoy the warm, fresh air. Naturally, Torvar was nowhere to be found, either passed out in bed or down at the Bannered Mare.

While she enjoyed the company of the others, Liefeli had settled on the far side of the steps leading from the Jorrvaskr’s porch to the training yard. She felt like being alone today, and the book she had been reading held most of her attention, anyway.

As the sun peeked out from behind the thin blanket of clouds above, Liefeli gently closed the book and turned her face towards the sunshine. It had been a few weeks since she’d felt the warmth on her skin, and, from what Farkas had told her, it was likely the golden rays would soon be hidden until spring came to thaw the land.

“You are smiling,” Farkas says, startling Liefeli. When she opened her eyes, she found that, despite his size, Farkas had snuck up on her. “It is nice.”

Liefeli could feel her cheeks warm and quickly looked away.

“I am heeding your warning,” she smiled as she turned her attention back to the sky. “If I can remember this feeling, perhaps I will get through my first winter in Skyrim.”

Farkas’ only response was a soft hum of approval. After a few moments of silence, he asked, “What is your happiest memory?”

The question takes Liefeli by surprise. “I-I do not know.”

“Come on,” Farkas said as he gently bumped her shoulder, “there has to be something.”

He was right; there was something. And, despite the memory filling her with warmth and happiness, it also left her feeling empty, longing for a time long since gone. The irony of it all, she thought, that your happiest moments were often shadowed under a thick cloud of longing.

She lets a long exhale out before she dares speak again. “It was long ago when my father was still around. Do not give me that face,” Liefeli said as she shook her head at Farkas’ bemused look. “Just because we did not often get along does not mean my father cannot be the center of my memories.

“He came storming up the stairs one night and came straight to my bed. It was back when he would call me his little star. I remember him saying, ‘Liefeli, my star, you must get up! You must come out!’ I had spent so long hearing about war and battle that I thought the fight had found us. I did not even have time to ask him questions before he was shoving my boots, my thickest cloak into my hands and ushering my back towards the door. I was very scared to see what was on the other side of the thin wood, but…”

She trails off for a moment before chucking a little towards herself. “Snow. It was snow that was waiting. I remember being confused, you know? Snow is not uncommon in High Rock, and I had seen my fair share of ice storms at that age.” Another pause, and Liefeli shook her head. “I think he knew he was going to leave us. He wanted to spend as much time as he could soaking up those last moments with us. But it is okay. I got to experience the first form of fighting I will ever approve of, with snowballs.

“It is funny, though. For many years after, I always hoped he would come back for me after the first snow fell. Obviously, it never happened, but I cannot say I am too sad he never came back.”

Farkas sat quietly once she was done with her story. In his silence, Liefeli realized that, even though in years past, recalling that night would often bring tears to her eyes, she felt just a twinge of longing, but nothing else. “Why do you ask?”

Instead of answering, Farkas chuckled and stood up. “Farkas!” Liefeli insisted, but he began making his way back towards his brother. “Ugh, Farkas!”

___

Barely a fortnight passes before Liefeli is pulled from her sleep in a similar way that her father had, except this time it is Farkas, and there is much less haste in his actions.

“What is it?” she exclaims as she jerks straight up in her bed. Farkas is little more than a looming shadow standing over her, and it leaves her feeling a little uneasy. “Is someone hurt?”

“No,” Farkas whispers as he holds his hand out to her. “Shh, I have something to show you, but you have to be quiet, so the others do not wake.”

Liefeli allows Farkas to pull her out of bed. He waits impatiently by the door to the whelp’s room as she groggily slides on her boots and cloak. “What is wrong” she hisses as she’s ushered up the steps to the Jorrvaskr’s main level.

Due to the stillness of the hall, mixed with the barely burning embers in the large firepit, Liefeli can only assume it is late in the evening. It was rare that the mead hall was ever completely empty, let alone as quiet as it was now, so the fact that she is unable to stop a moment to soak in the peace makes her a little sad. It is a short-lived feeling, however, as Farkas begins pulling her towards Jorrvaskr’s front doors.

“Where are you taking me,” she huffed. She was prepared to tell him off when Farkas ignored her question, but then he opened the doors.

On a normal day, Liefeli would describe Whiterun as a painfully average city. There was nothing special about it, besides the now-burnt and slowly dying Gildergreen in the center of the Wind District and perhaps Dragonsreach. But tonight? She could only describe it as one thing.

“Beautiful,” Liefeli whispered as she looked out at the snow-covered city below her. The snow that had quickly blanketed the city was still falling in large, fluffy lumps, making the scene even more magical.

“Isn’t it?” Farkas whispered back, the gentle smile he wore evident in his voice. “The first snow.”

When Liefeli looked up at him, she found that he wasn’t looking out at Whiterun at all. Instead, he was deeply focused on her. The sliver of moonlight the snow-filled clouds allowed through, mixed with the sparkling reflection of the snow, made his ice-blue eyes even colder, yet Liefeli had never felt so warm.

As if to help direct her attention, a rather large snowflake fell between the two of them and stuck to the hair of Farkas’ beard just below his bottom lip, a lip that Liefeli suddenly could not draw her attention away from. As if he could somehow read her mind, Farkas began leaning closer to her, so close that, if she was brave enough to lean up just a hair, their lips would undoubtedly collide.

However, before she has the chance to act on the enticing thought, the moment is interrupted by an all-too-familiar, all-too annoying voice. “Farkas! Lief!” Torvar slurred as she stumbled slightly up the steps towards Jorrvaskr. “Whateryou doing out here inda snow?”

Farkas let out an annoyed sigh before straightening back up to his full height. Completely unaware that he had just interrupted something, Torvar wedged his way between Liefeli and Farkas on his way towards the doors. “Damn snow,” he mumbled under his breath as he went.

Once he disappeared into the mead hall, Farkas turned his attention back on Liefeli, though he made no move to return to their previous stance. Instead, he simply slung an arm around Liefeli and turned them both back towards Whiterun.

As she stood with Farkas admiring the peaceful landscape in front of them, Liefeli couldn’t help but think that if Farkas were to ask her what her favorite memory was again, her answer would be just a little different.

[artbymavy]

up for some angsty "Don't you trust me?" with Lief and Jasmine?

"Don't you trust me?"

 The raft beneath Lief’s feet creaked and rocked gently at the whim of the dark water that lapped beneath it, but all around him it glimmered in an ever-shifting kaleidoscope of multi-coloured brilliance, reflecting the rainbow gleam of the newly lit cavern walls. The walls curved high over his head, holding him cupped in their hand, where he felt as if he could be standing just on the edge of a great abalone shell, on the verge of tipping over into its iridescent depths.

 It was a strange and wonderful sight, to be sure, and the return of light to the people of the caverns was one thing, at least, Lief could he grateful for. Despite everything, this alone would have been worth the trip.

 Still, Lief found he couldn’t stand to be in the throngs of celebrating people, nor trapped in the tension inside Penn’s hut. In the days of old he could always have found peace and rest with his companions at least. But now, with so much unsaid between them, their presence offered little in the way of comfort. Of course, things were different now. Much different.

 A speck of black on the otherwise vibrant horizon caught Lief’s gaze, and his heart leapt as he recognized its soaring shape – Kree was flying once again, testing out his healing wing in the safety of the light. Another thing Lief could be glad of.

 As he flew closer Lief held out an arm to him to land on, but Kree passed him by, a slight breeze on his face all he felt. Lief turned to see where he had gone and–

 Of course.

 Jasmine was standing close behind him. She had approached so silently that Lief hadn’t noticed, though that was not unusual. She could be silent as the grave, when she wanted to be.

 She stared intently at Kree’s sleek black feathers as she stroked his back and examined his wing, resolutely keeping from looking at Lief. Stubborn, as usual.

 “How is he?” Lief ventured at last.

 “Fine.”

 “Jasmine…”

 “Well, you saw him fly, did you not? As I said, he’s fine.” She snapped irritably.

 Lief sighed. Clearly, Kree’s recovery had done little to recover her own mood. He thought, perhaps, she would finally offer the reason for her ill temper now that all was safe and well for the time. But she remained as tight-lipped as ever. Lief had never had to pry to know her thoughts before, but now… what else could he do?

 “And… how are you?”

 Jasmine scoffed. “I am perfectly well, Lief. It’s yourself you should be worried about.” She nodded towards his injured shoulder, and he raised a hand to it instinctively.

 “You should listen to Barda, and be more careful. Deltora would never forgive us if we let anything happen to you. To say nothing of those you left behind. Think of them, Lief, when you take your risks, if you won’t consider us. It’s what you’re best at.”

 Lief recoiled, hurt by her bluntness. He preferred not to think of home, and the promises he had made that he might not be able to keep. But he would not have his concerns deflected, as he knew she was trying to do.

 “Fine, then. I am glad you were not injured. But I know you Jasmine, and I know you are not fine.”

 Jasmine’s frown deepened, and Lief could tell she had many thoughts trembling on the edge of an angry retort. But still, she did not share.

 “I know you are angry with me. But please, what can I do? Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong Jasmine? Don’t you trust me?”

 Lief could read the emotions easily as they flashed across her face – an angry furrow of her brow, a sad shine in her eyes, a twist of resentment at the corner of her mouth.

 “With my life, Lief.” Was all she said.

 But Lief knew. Her words had not said as much, but they had not needed to. And no farther was heavily implied. After everything, it was easy to trust one another with their lives. But her thoughts, her feelings, her heart, Lief was no longer privy to them.

 If only he could tell her! If only he could close the distance he had forced between them – but as things were, there was little chance of making amends. Perhaps by the time there was, it would be too late anyways. Perhaps this was all they would ever be to one another – not friends, not anything but willing to risk their lives for one another.

 But wasn’t he? Had he not followed her here, against all better judgment? Would he not dive head-first into danger for her? Would she not still do the same for him? Was that not enough?

 I would have to be.

 For now, at least, I would have to be.

[abittersweetsongforyou]

thank youuu @phascinationphases and @kardemommecroques for the tag 💙

fav wtfock s3 things

although i wish we’d had more sander, i love that the first two episodes focused on robbe seeing him and his struggles was so heartbreaking but it made me connect to robbe so much more, made me love him, helped me understand him

i love bowie more than anything like that was such an elite choice, but not only that having sander be so fixated on him, so excited about him and wanting to talk about him and then having robbe not only listen without judgement but also take an interest in something he’d never really considered before??? genius. and now they have all these inside jokes and things that mean a lot to them as a couple pls im so weak

the soundtrack is incredible, truly unmatched like wow

also just the chemistry, it was on a whole other level, it still shocks me sometimes how easy the croque scene felt, how charged and alive and intimate it was. i was skeptical when i found out they were going for the whole, love at first sight, emotional whirlwind, all or nothing romance type thing, but the willems somehow pulled it off and made it feel realistic, i still don’t understand how they did that. 

i also just love how robbe and sander are an isak and an even but they’re so different, they’re so lived in. ive said it a thousand time but robbe is so gentle even after everything he’s gone through, he’s suffered so much and he’s still the least i guess i would say vicious isak though that’s not the right word. and sander, sander is so original, he’s his own person, he’s so intense in the best way and i related to him more than any other even before, he loves fully and deeply and he doesn’t hold back and i love that about him. 

fav clip

i have so many and they make no sense jsdajhdjahd but hear me out:

zaterdag 08:23/zaterdag 08:44/zaterdag 21:52/woensdag 21:21/dinsdag 16:3/woensdag 16:36/zaterdag 15:02/dinsdag 10:12 and a thousand more

fav scene

dinsdag 07:27 by far, the opening scene where sander asks if robbe is coming back

fav shot

ughhhh so fucking many, the shot of robbe looking at his bruises in the mirror/the shot of their hands intertwining during the reunion scene/the close up of sanders eye during cyg/sander in the dark during his panic attack/shot of robbe staring out at the water after he sees sander kissing britt/robbe crying in his bedroom/birdseye shot of robbe and sander spooning after ohn and the close up of robbe rubbing his thumb of sanders hand/sander leaning on robbes chest during the cuddle clip/sanders hand in robbe’s hair on their date/shot of them kissing from under the water in the pool clip/that shot of robbe and sander riding their bikes down the street singing/sander licking the joint/

fav kiss that robbe initiates

the second pool kiss or the one after sander hows him the sketch of the mural

fav kiss that sander initiates

the kiss at the end of vrijdag 22:52 it’s so soft it breaks my fucking heart

fav sander dialogue

cute answer: “nowhere as happy as we are”/”the moonlight was shining down on you and i knew immediately: he is the one”

funny answer: “you would probably still be chasing after jens like a horny lapdog.” 

fav robbe dialogue

cute answer: “you touched me and i’ve never felt anything like that before”

funny answer: “no he quickly put something in front of his penis, of course naked naked!”

fav hug

robbe holding sander during their ohn, it said everything they didn’t need to say, sander is always so confident and bright and intriguing and he didn’t think anyone could ever love him any other way, that noone would ever want to have all of him, all the hard, sad parts and then there’s robbe, who is sweet and gentle and loves every part of him, who doesn’t need sander to be this perfect, happy boy all the time, who just wants to be with him. 

fav 21:21

i can’t choose im sorry i just can’t, their reunion clip is my favourite of all the evaks but the pool kiss is 💯

fav sobbe instagram pic

the pictures sander posted for robbe’s birthday they’re so fucking cute i hate it/different supermarket same love had me fucking sobbing /i know technically it wasn’t their post but milans clingy bf post also made me feel some type of way

fav scene x song pair

supermarket clip x rebel rebel 

with a special mention to two men in love i mean fuck

fav message between sander and robbe

S: you were kind of wild in my dreams last night

R: Sander...

S: alright I will go and cool down outside 

fav banter on instagram

nothing has ever been funnier to me than ‘you are my fetish’ i cant believe those fuckers managed to make talking about a bald fetish sappy i hate them/also my shoe vs mijn lief that made my entire year

im fairly certain almost everyone has been tagged shjdahsjd so ill just tag a couple of people and say everyone should do this if they want to

@womenstan @veerleloockx @zaralrssns @tsjernobyl @sonderthroughthestreets @thenerd10 @to-enter-polaris @foxsake5

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #40

Vrijdag 21.03 // "In My Mind" - Dynoro & Gigi D'Agostino

For me, this is one of those clips where I remember where I was and what I was doing when it dropped, because it was the last clip of the season, the last clip we got to see through Robbe's eyes. It's always emotional to say goodbye to a season, to a character that you hold every close to your heart, but it felt different with Robbe, because I felt like I had been living his story too. For 10 episodes, 108 clips in total, I had followed Robbe and felt every one of his emotions; I cried, smiles and laughed with him, and even though it was a crazy and wild ride with many ups and downs, I would do it all over again. Those 10 weeks were some of the most intense and emotional weeks of my life, but they were definitely also some of the best ones as well.

It was emotional to see it all come to an end, to see everyone together for one last party, to get one final scene with Robbe and Sander, where they were just enjoying some time together alone. But I think it's normal to get sentimental and emotional when you have to say goodbye to something or someone, who's been a big part of your life, because it makes you reminisce the journey you've been on, it makes you think back to everything you've experienced for the past ten weeks with Robbe and his story. I think wtFOCK did a good job with the last clip, as it's always difficult, but they managed to create a clip, where we got a chance to get one final glimpse of almost all of the characters, who had been a part of this season, and we also got a very sweet scene between Robbe and Sander, almost as a way to wrap up the final clip and message of Robbe's season.

Robbe and Sander are standing next to each other, as Robbe is sending a message to his mama, letting her know that he has a "lief", and Sander just smiles as he reads the message along with him. In that moment the music changes and a new song fills the background, once again providing a beat to the party and the dancing, a beat that has a heavier and deeper base to it, where the melancholy vibes from the previous song is gone, which makes the scene seem more happy and joyful. It's an interesting contrast, like wtFOCK is saying that it's okay to be sad about the season coming to an end, but before it gets there, let's celebrate one last time.

It's a song we've heard before, as it got used in a trailer for wtFOCK before season 1, but there's something about the use of that song as the last one in season 3, which makes the clip more special. Maybe wtFOCK chose it because of its attachment to the show, maybe it just provided the right atmosphere and feelings to the last minute of the season. Or maybe they chose it because it was supposed to tell and show us, how far Robbe has come from the show's beginning to the end of his own season, or maybe I'm just overanalysing again.

Robbe and Sander are standing in front of each other, talking, smiling and teasing like they always do. Sander lets Robbe know that his mom would like to meet him, but he also warns him that it might get awkward, but as Robbe tells him, as long as Sander wears clothes, nothing will ever be awkward. I really like this little part of the scene, because it somehow shows the trust there is between them, that Robbe feels comfortable enough to joke about Sander's naked-walk, and that Sander can just laugh and smile about it, and not take it for more than it is. I think it gives us a good idea of their relationship, that they feel more at peace with each other, so knowing that they're calmer, more comfortable together and more in love than ever, seems like the best way to say goodbye to them in this season. 

They look so in love as they're standing close to each other, holding each other lightly while everyone else is dancing and partying in the background. In that moment, it was just the two of them in their own little bubble, where they were enjoying the touch, feel and presence of each other. They didn't seem to care or pay attention to what was going on around them, because in that moment it was just the two of them.

When they started kissing, once again sharing another passionate and longing kiss, that seemed to take their breath away, I couldn't help but get all emotional, because they're just so in love, they're just so happy to finally be together. And I think it means the world to them, that they can show their love, among friends and family, (even though they might be in a bubble of their own), but for them to know, that they can be themselves, is the most important thing, especially considering they always had to pretend or hide something of themselves in the past. Their journey, both separately and together, towards this moment, has been tough filled with highs and lows, but it's also because of it, that they can be together in this moment, feeling the love all around them.

Robbe breaks the kiss and looks into Sander's eyes as he says: "you know, it might be cliché, but you never know who will be alive tomorrow and who might die. the only thing we know for sure, is…", but before he can finish the sentence, they get pulled out of their little bubble by Jana, who leads them out to the dancefloor. And just as the drop in the song is coming, Robbe says "dat we nu leven". I have always loved the last words of season 3, because it symbolizes so much in terms of Robbe and Sander's relationship, what they have promised each other. They're going to live in the moment, they should not try to think ahead; what will happen tomorrow, or what will happen in the future, because they're alive now, and they should just live it minute by minute.

I think it's such a strong message to end the season with, not only because of the meaning behind it, but also how accurate it is in terms of Robbe's story and the developments he went through. With Robbe's last words, wtFOCK is letting us know how important it is to remember to live in the moment, to enjoy it while it lasts, because you never know what is going to happen in the next minute, tomorrow or in the future. It's important to remember that we're alive now, and how precious that can be, and I think that message connects with Robbe's story so beautifully. How he found peace in his reality by living in the moment, how Robbe discovered the importance of enjoying the moment to its fullest, because he could never know how long it was going to last.

As Robbe is standing in the middle of the room with his arms around Sander, while kissing him passionately, I can't help but think back to the first time we saw Robbe in season 3. How sad and miserable he looked, as he was sitting in the bathtub with Jens and Moyo, smoking weed and drinking alcohol as a way to escape the world around him. Because at that point Robbe was always pretending to be someone else, did everything he could to fit in, but no matter what he did, he always felt left out, like he didn't belong anywhere. But in this clip and moment, as Robbe has his arms around Sander, with his friends all around him, cheering as he kisses Sander, he's in a totally different place, and it makes me so emotional, so proud to see how far he has come. Because in that moment he felt like he belonged in the world, like he finally had found his place in the chaos.

Throughout season 3, Robbe did not only find Sander, someone who loves him deeply, but most importantly, Robbe found himself too. He finally came to peace with the person that he is, with the feelings that was growing inside of him, he began to embrace everything he had been trying to suppress, and during that journey he realized how good life could be, especially if you are true to the person that you are. And Sander played a huge role in that process, because he showed Robbe that he could be living his life in a different way, a way that was much lighter and happier, than the darker and painful version Robbe had turned to. Robbe realized that being himself was the best choice he could make, a choice that brought him so much love and happiness.  

I guess that what I've been trying to show, or point out, with my posts is how much thought there's been put into every single detail of season 3, not only in the more important clips, but also in those scenes, which might not seem too essential. How some things just seem to fit so perfectly together, that I refuse to think of it as a coincidence, and not just me totally overanalysing all of it.

Music plays such a huge part in almost everything it's involved in, and season 3 of wtFOCK is definitely no exception. The soundtrack reflects Robbe's story so perfectly, everything he went through and every emotion he felt during those ten weeks. There are so many songs, that just connected with the scene it was featured in, where it truly felt like everything was connecting on a deeper level, which made the experience much more intense and extraordinary. I know that season 3 would have been a totally different experience without the amazing soundtrack, and for me, that's one of the reasons why I hold Robbe's story so close to my heart, because it was absolutely beautiful and wonderful on every possible level.

[ask-team-misfit]

Time passed–day turned into night here in the Fae Wood.

As her headache finally seemed to ebb and go away, the two were lying together out in the open in silence. Lief was lying beside Pikavee on his back. The giant in question still lay in the same position as earlier.

She was calmer than before, just lost in thought. She still dwelled on Fenninkou’s words:

Then where are they? I think it’s real. Even Mr. Livingston said our ancestors were hiding from some kinda disaster.

Yeah! Think about it. No one in the history of ever has seen a human. Just what they left behind. Except maybe the gods, I guess.

Besides, if it turned out they were just somewhere else, then that would make even Victoria, the greatest Treasure Hunter to ever live, just thieves.

Which combined with Lief’s:

If anything, I was hoping to be wrong. Stuff goes around, I hear about it, but I don’t know everything. The Isle’s a big place.

Began to tip her off that the humans being completely gone sounded less and less like concrete fact.

It bothered her enough to speak up, even if it was a stretch.

Pikavee: “Um, Lief?”

Lief perked up at her voice, glancing over at her.

Pikavee: “Wh-what if we tried again? Go back to see Livingston?”

Lief: “Eh?”

Pikavee: “You said them being dead was just a story, right? What if they really are just somewhere else?”

Lief: “If you mean that monster story, of course that’s not real. Am I really supposed to believe a single gigantic Pokemon destroyed the world?”

Pikavee: “W… what?”

Lief: “Don’t worry about it. It’s not real.”

He was scowling for a moment, before he sighed and softened his expression.

[ ID: A grayscale bust drawing of Lief slightly angled away from the viewer towards the left. He looks sad or concerned, appearing to have some troubling thoughts he's refusing to speak of. He's looking away to the right. Lief’s appearance is as described here. End ID ]

Lief: “But them being gone does make sense. No one’s ever seen a human for as long as I’ve been alive, and longer than that. Livingston would know what happened, if anything else.”

Pikavee: “W-we can find out. Even if…”

She was on the verge of hyperventilating all over again. The possibility clearly troubled her, but not quite as much as never knowing.

[ ID: A grayscale bust drawing of Pikavee oriented similarly to the previous image. She's grimacing deeply, and her teary eyes are closed. Her ears are drooped down. Pikavee’s appearance is as described here. End ID ]

Pikavee: “E-even if no one here really does know what I’m talking about. Even if it’s true, and… something awful happened while I was being brought here. I just want to know for sure.”

Lief rose to comfort her again, stepping close to the front of her face.

Lief: “Easy. Your headache could come back.”

He rested his paws on hers once more, as she tried to take deep breaths.

The first was really ragged. The second, less so.

By the third and onwards, she was stable. Her breathing was more calm again.

Pikavee: “What do you think? We should hear it from Livingston. Just like you said.”

Lief: “Well…”

For the third time, upon looking her in the eyes, he got cold feet when he really shouldn’t.

Lief: “How about this. I go get more oran berries, and leave you to think it over a little more. By which I mean you really shouldn’t worry about it. At all.”

He stepped away towards the end of the clearing, turning to properly walk away after he added the following.

Lief: “Besides, the less attention you draw from the townies, the better. Remember what I said.”

With that, Pikavee was alone. The sounds of Lief venturing into the wood gradually fade.

[ next ]

[hushedhands]

Challenge 76

Thanks for voting @geekeryandwriting​! I’m glad you’ve been enjoying these challenges. I’ve loved writing them because they give me something to do every time I start to get nervous about the election! 

This a scene about Lief that takes place while Addy is away at university. And, just in case anyone is wondering, Lief calls his toy soldiers “march men” because when he was little, he always saw the guards marching in their training drills outside, and he thought those were the grownup versions of his toys. Like his toys might grow up into the guards in a few years. Yeah, he’s baby 🥰 

Lief tiptoed into Maxon’s bedroom to find his parents. They were sitting up in bed and talking about important grown up things, stuff Lief didn’t really understand. He was sure it was serious, maybe even about taxes. Lief didn’t know what taxes were, but they sounded boring and complicated. He didn’t care though, he’d sit and listen all about taxes if that’s what he had to do.

“Hi honey.” America greeted him.

Lief climbed onto their bed and said, “Can I sit quietly?”

Maxon noticed Lief’s low frown and said, “Of course you can, Lief. Is everything okay?”

Lief didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it, that’s why he was here. He sighed heavily, “I just want to sit quietly.”

“Okay.” Maxon agreed.

America and Maxon shared a look, but then they continued their conversation. It turns out, they were talking about traveling. Lief decided he would warn Rosie at breakfast the next morning. She hated when their parents went traveling and left her behind, but if she had enough warning, she might be able to beg them to take her with them.

Finally, the conversation seemed to end and America ran a hand through Lief’s short, red hair. Lief loved when she did this because if felt like a massage. “Are you sick, baby boy?”

She tried not to call him baby boy in front of other people because she knew it embarrassed him now that he was seven and a half, but since they were alone it was okay. Lief considered her question and then shook his head. His tummy felt bad, but not sick.

“Are you hurt, son?” Maxon took his guess.

Again, Lief shook his head.

“What’s wrong then?” America asked. “You can tell us anything. We can help you feel better, but you have to tell us what’s going on.”

Lief hated to even say it. He crawled over to his mom and she wrapped him up in a hug. With his legs around her waist and his arms around her neck, he felt totally safe. He even felt okay enough to say what happened, “I broke my new march man, the one Daddy got me from New Asia.” Giant tears filled his eyes and his nose started running really fast. He sniffled hard, and Maxon reached way over to his bedside table to pull a tissue from the box that sat there. He reached around America’s back to hand it to Lief, who wiped his nose messily.

“Oh, that’s terrible. Are you sad because you can’t play with him anymore?” America asked. Lief was their rowdiest child by far, but he also had the softest heart. It didn’t take much to affect him emotionally.

“Only a little.” Lief confessed.

“Only a little? Then why the tears?” Maxon asked, rubbing Lief’s back firmly.

Lief inhaled a shaky breath and said, “That was a special march man, he came from so far away. He was special, just for me, and I broke him. I feel…” he didn’t have the word, so he let out a pitiful groan instead.

Maxon and America had seen their children lose enough “special things” by now to know that what they were missing wasn’t just the physical item, it was the emotional connection they attached to it.

“Where is he broken?” Maxon asked. “Perhaps I can fix him.”

Lief turned his head, loosening his grip on his mom to look back at his dad. “His whole arm came off.”

“I see.” Maxon nodded grimly at the diagnosis. “Can you bring him in here so that I may exam him?”

Lief felt the heavy guilt he’d been burdened under for the last fifteen minutes flutter up with hope. He climbed out of the big bed and hurried out of their room. He didn’t run because running inside wasn’t supposed to be allowed, but he did walk really fast to his bedroom.

Inside, he found the remnants of the battle he’d been fighting just before the terrible incident occurred. Several surviving march men surrounded their fallen comrade (or enemy, for some of them). Lief picked up the arm and the man, then rushed him to Maxon for a full examination.

When Lief returned to his parents, both of them were now sitting on the end of the bed. He offered his dad the pieces of his broken toy and bit at his lip nervously as Maxon conducted an evaluation.

Maxon pulled his reading glasses out of the pocket of his pajamas and placed them on his nose. “Must have been quite a crash.” he said as he inspected the arm socket and the loose arm.

“It was a special rocket! It was hidden in the toy chest, and then it exploded out. ” Lief explained.

“What was it really?” America asked curiously.

“My foam dart gun.” Lief admitted bashfully.

Maxon seemed impressed as he continued his examination, “A foam dart did this? Perhaps we shouldn’t allow you to shoot your cousins with it anymore…”

“Well, I pumped the handle a lot. The hardest ever.” Lief bragged, until he remembered the disaster that had unfurled. “I wouldn’t pump it so hard if I was shooting Leo or Rogan.”

“Mhmm.” Maxon didn’t seem convinced. “Well, I can reattach the arm, son.”

“You can?” Lief was excited.

“But I’ll need to glue it to keep it in there. This soldier will always have one stiff arm. Is that okay?”

“Yeah! He can use his other arm to lead in battle.” Lief reassured Maxon.

“Very well.” Maxon chuckled, picking up the toy solider and carrying him over to his desk. It took a moment of rummaging and then Maxon pulled out a bottle of glue, squeezed a little into the empty arm socket, and placed the arm back inside. “This soldier needs to be on bedrest until morning. For that matter, so do you, Commander.”

Lief saluted his dad, hurrying over to peek at his mostly-repaired toy.

“What do you think?” Maxon asked.

“Thank you, Dad.” Lief hugged Maxon’s waist.

“You’re welcome.” Maxon bent down and pressed a kiss to Lief’s red hair. “And, so you know, the Emperor of New Asia is a very good friend of mine. If you ever need another toy solider like this one, I can call in a favor. There’s no reason to feel sad over a toy.”

“I know,” Lief shrugged with one shoulder, “But this one is special. You brought him just for me from all the way around the world. I never, ever meant to break him.”

“Well here you are, son.” Maxon handed the toy over. “He’s not broken anymore. Feel better?”

Lief nodded.

America spoke up from where she’d been watching the sweet exchange and said, “Why don’t you two retire to bed and we’ll check on him in the morning?”

Lief stopped by his parents’ bed on his way out the door and pressed a kiss to his mom’s cheek. “Night Mommy.”

“Goodnight Lief, happy dreams.”

“Happy dreams.” he replied on his way out the door.

Lief fell asleep very easily that night, though he forgot to clean up his other toys. He rested his most special march man on his nightstand so that he could heal through the night. He didn’t quite understand where New Asia was, but he knew it was as far away as anyone could be. He knew he’d missed his dad a lot when while he was gone, and worried about all the bad things that could happen so far from home. When Maxon returned with this special toy just for Lief, his joy at having a new toy was overwhelmed by his understanding, for the first time, that Maxon had taken such care to bring the march man home safely with Lief in mind.

Because he loved Lief so much. 

Lief knew that this march man could not be a regular soldier anymore. He needed a much more special job. The last thing Lief did that night was make plans for a promotion ceremony he could play tomorrow, if his toy was done healing. He would promote his most special toy soldier to the rank of General, like Uncle Aspen, and he would become the most important man in Lief’s whole army.

[viostormcaller]

Thinking about it, it kinda sucks just how little new horizons has.

Like... I love the game to pieces and maybe this is just bc im in a shitty mood (which i am) but like... god this is gonna be long and ranty and I'm sorry in advance that mobile tumblr doesnt have the read more feature

For starters, holidays are all scheduled on the company's terms, meaning in 7+ years or so there will be no more in-game holidays because by then they'll probably be thinking about/getting ready to release the next installment of the series on whatever console is out at the time and they won't want to update new horizons anymore. And adding onto this, you need the internet to download the updates. What happens to the players who don't have internet?? Can they just never experience the holidays like bunny day and toy day and turkey day? That takes a HUGE part of the fun of the series out right off the bat. Sometimes making everything rely on the internet is a bad idea. Idk if anyone can like tell me if having no internet means you can't take part in the holidays, but like... god if that's true thats really sad.

They recently took out the hybrid flower and big fish islands, which makes no sense whatsoever why they would do that to a game that has so little, but ok?? It's not like that feature was hindering the gameplay any

There's a lot of furniture but Not a Lot of Furniture, you get me? They took out EVERY set except the classic set (renamed "antique") that you can buy for an insanely high price, and the log and wooden block sets that you can craft, but other that that it's all unrelated items that aren't part of any set, aside from the cute set and diner and throwback sets which as far as I can remember are the only other sets you can buy in the game. No alpine, no ranch, no minimalist, no princess or gracie, no modern or sleek, none of that. And 90% of all the buy-only furniture in the game is just the color variants. You can't even customize them! And it's hard as fuck to find the color variants you want, much less for completing a furniture set

And speaking of which, your starting villagers don't get their default house interiors. Your first three + your two starters from the tutorial days have the same generic layouts. You NEVER see what their houses are supposed to look like, and even if you give them the wallpaper and flooring they're supposed to have (if you figure that out online somewhere), their house doesn't change (I tested this with Sherb and was kinda disappointed).

And stuff is so EXPENSIVE. I know it adds a challenge but my final loan was NEVER 1 mil+ bells in New Leaf. And you can't even expand the extra first floor rooms you get. I'm literally getting less for WAY more. The biggest rooms you get are the basement and upstairs rooms. The first floor rooms aside from the main room really don't have a lot of space and with the different furniture they DO offer, I don't have a lot of room to put things in. But it's not like I can even afford it anyway -- just a freaking air conditioner was 63,000 bells. In New Leaf it was 2500. That's a MASSIVE jump. And the kitchen items are so freaking expensive, as well.

And speaking of houses, for someone who was literally in the real estate industry in the last game, tom nook adds very few house exterior options. And the even more shitty thing is that a lot of the colors straight up don't match. They couldn't even add a plain white roof.

God and the fucking DIY recipes. I know I've said this before on my other tumblr but the RNG for this game is the worst I've ever fucking seen. There is no reason why, two months into the game, I can be given a recipe for a simple DIY bench, which EVERYONE LEARNS IN THE TUTORIAL. Who the fuck am I giving it to?! No one, because literally every player knows it already, and you can't gift diy recipes to villagers! And I keep getting repeats of recipes. My villagers give me fruit DIYs all the time, it's so rare for me to get any new ones. And two days in a row I've gotten the recipe for the deer head mount thing from the same villager. New recipes should 100% take the priority before repeats. This game is slow paced, sure, but that's just frustrating. It doesn't make me excited to learn more recipes, it makes me feel like I'm never gonna learn any new ones because I'll get the same fruit DIYs for a week straight.

And speaking of which, you can't put trees, bushes, or flowers in your storage, which to me makes literally no sense. I can fit a giant ass fountain in my storage but I can't put a flower plant? Really? And speaking of storage, for a game that added 300 whole slots for mail instead of the usual 10, I will never understand why they decided to halve the amount of items a player can order a day from the nook shopping, AND make it so that it takes a whole day to get there instead of making deliveries at 9 am and 5 pm like in New Leaf.

And the fact that they made it so hard to get non native fruit and flowers and shit??? Like they at LEAST added Lief so flowers aren't as much of an issue anymore, but you actually have to travel to other people's islands just to get all the fruits?? I know you have to do the same thing in New Leaf but the reason why this is an issue for me is because you have to pay for online access, meaning most of those nook miles for planting all the fruits are locked behind a paywall unless your villagers can gift them to you. And your mom, when you first start the game, has a chance of giving you the one fruit that's on the non-native fruit mystery island, meaning you'll only get ONE new fruit and not two separate ones (for example, my sis got pears from mom but her non native fruit islands have cherries i believe. I got pears from mom and my fruit islands also have pears. Doesnt help that that's the one fruit i hate lmao). They also took OUT a bunch of fruits, like mangoes, durians, lemons, bananas, lychees, persimmons...

And the fact that your nook miles rewards are ISLAND LOCKED. That is the WORST SHIT. Not everyone has the ability to play with others, bc no internet or no money for the subscription every month. Not everyone WANTS to play with others bc maybe they get social anxiety (like me, which is why i havent asked for things that are impossible for me to get even though i want them for my island or house), or maybe they simply just don't want to. But the fact that each island has their own color variants of the same goddamn rewards that CANNOT BE CHANGED makes me so upset. I do not want nor should I have to rely on others to get the items I want because my game doesn't have my preferred color variations. And it's not like I'm far enough in the game to have anything worth trading for said items, nor do I have the bells.

And Isabelle does next to fucking nothing and I'm really irked about how they made her character in this game. Yeah she's cute, but that's ALL she is. She became more ditzy than anything else. She doesn't let you know about visitors in the town or the plaza or if a bridge or incline was built bc of a completed donation goal. Like really useful info to know would be if Flick or CJ is in town or who is selling stuff in the plaza. Flavor text is nice but if that's all you say 24/7 it loses its charm. In New Leaf she was helpful and hardworking and super focused and on top of things. Idk why they changed that aspect of her. I know her role in New Horizons isn't as big as it was in New Leaf, but still.

And then there's glitches that STILL haven't been patched (as far as I know anyway), like the game-breaking villager corruption glitch (which you'd think nintendo would have made a priority but they're too busy removing other features it seems) or the house exterior glitch.

And it's bad enough that your game saves to your fucking system a la Fantasy Life. But even WORSE, no one can have separate islands on one console. It's not enough to own two copies of New Horizons. Each player has to own one copy of the game and a whole new Switch just so they can play on their own islands. Parents can't usually afford that (aka $360 for each kid give or take) so for a game marketed towards kids, I don't know why they thought that was a smart move (well, I DO know, and that's because money, but still). And to top it all off, cloud saves are not supported normally. If you lose your game or your switch and aren't subscribed to nintendo online, well, it looks like all your progress is gone! And there's nothing you can do about it. And they directly claimed that they did this just so people can't manipulate the game because it's supposed to be played in real time. But people can still fucking time travel by setting the system's clock! They achieved nothing except to make the players frustrated!!! If you make a game you need to accept that the player is going to play how THEY want to. You shouldn't try to make everyone conform to the way YOU want them to play. That just makes you a controlling asshole and the game loses a lot of its fun.

This game was 60 bucks and they took so long to make it and we ended up with less than we got in New Leaf. The main thing they gave us was a shit ton more clothing items (which I really like). Like I said, I love this game to pieces and it's actually one of my favorite games right now. There's so much I love about it -- I certainly don't hate it or anything. But this game has SO MANY flaws, a lot of which are needless. And I think the kid in me just misses the days where you can pay for a game and get the whole game right away. No updates in tiny batches, no content locked behind paywalls, no day one patches, no reliance on internet connection and multiplayer... mainstream companies have all gone really downhill with that shit and it just disappoints me to no end. But because Nintendo is kid-oriented, I think that's where it hurts the most. It was supposed to be accessible, family friendly fun like back during the days of the Wii and the DS. But companies get so wrapped up in competing with each other and trying to make the most money that they forget about all that. I dunno. It just sucks.

If you read all this, god damn I'm surprised XD I got super ranty and I apologize. But I'm in a sad mood and I after learning about features they've taken out I just had to get all this off my chest. It's been weighing on me since the game released, especially since for months prior this game was all I could think about and I was really looking forward to it. It just let me down in a lot of ways, I guess.

[cowtale-utau]

I have arrived! For those sweet, sweet! Pining! Headcanons! The most wonderful trope. You know exactly who this is for. Add any of the other boys you wish. Hell, do the grouping thing for all of them if you want, but I am here for one man and one man only. Oh, and uh, please and thank you? n.n'

You wanted some pining, here ya go!

Doc – Whether or not, and how, Doc pines, is dependent on respective relationship statues. If you're single, he won't pine at all. He'll give it a little time to feel out the situation and make sure he isn't crossing the line of inappropriate, and then he'll straight up tell you he's interested. If you're seeing someone, he'll put a lid on it, and won't so much “pine” as brood. He will take action to prove he would be a better partner, but does his best not to cross any lines. It's a delicate balance. If you ever ask him what's up he will be honest about it. Saying something to the effect of “I'm interested in pursuing a potentially romantic relationship with you, however seeing as you are otherwise involved, I will wait”. He won't directly interfere, but he is quite convinced your current relationship won't last. If you're dating him however, that's ironically when he pines the most. You have your own life separate of him. He knows and respects this. That doesn't mean he doesn't want most of your time and attention. He won't try to tell you you can't do this, see them, go there. But he will pout the entire you're gone. He would much rather you spent your time with him, even if he knows that unreasonable.

Lief – Lief is kind of hilarious in that he doesn't pine at first. Because he doesn't even fully realize he has romantic or potentially romantic feelings. It usually takes someone else pointing out he has a crush for him to realize. He knows he likes you, and he wants to be around you. You're very cute and very pleasant, and really wants to see you all the time. After all you're his dear friend! What do you mean crush, Ace what are you talking about? Oh. Then the pining really begins. Lost of wistful sighs and lingering stares. He doesn't know how to approach you now. He thinks you probably think he isn't interested because he didn't say anything before. He isn't very subtle however, and even the most oblivious potential partner will notice. Either you'll approach him, or he'll eventually muster up the courage to tell you. He'll plan it all out, a cute romantic confession, but he'll end up blurting it on the way as he tells you what the plan for the day is. Once you're dating he doesn't pine anymore at all. You're already his and he's quite confident in your relationship. He knows you'll always make time for him, and even when you're busy he knows you love him. Who wouldn't? He's the Great Lief!

Piper – This boy pines hardcore. Despite being charming and charismatic, he has next to no confidence in terms of actual romantic relationships. He will spend days, weeks, even months, wistfully daydreaming about his crush. He'll spend time with them, and he loves it, but he also suffers, as he wishes he could just suck it up and confess. But then he convinces himself that he's not worthy of love or that he'd make a terrible partner and ends up giving up instead. The more time passes the more you'll notice he seems a bit sad when he's around you. If you confront him he'll stutter and act pretty cagey before disappearing for a few days. When he comes back he says something about being busy and acts like he was perfectly normal. Eventually Scout tells him to either confess or he's doing it for him. Or Flint in a mixture of good friend and asshole shit disturber, will just turn up mid conversation, announce Piper is in love with you with no lead in, and then bail. Once he’s gotten over the shock, he’ll splutter and try to backtrack before admitting its true and bracing himself for rejection. He’ll be really surprised if you return his feelings, but very happy. He’s too busy being elated you’re with him to pine. 

Hope ya boy didn't let ya down!

I can do more of these if anyone wants. Just hit me up!

(I’ll probably end up doing more anyway though)

[gaasaku-fanfests]

Misfits (part 3 & 4)

Title: Misfits Author: clem-chan Rating: T Word Count: 27 388 Summary: Marrying a CEO in the midst of a romantic scandal to pay for med school is not the happy ending Sakura imagined for herself. The arrangement that started as constant bickering soon becomes so much more... If only her husband was hers to fall in love with. GaaSaku. Modern!AU Warnings: There is a light make-out session hence the T rating. There's also mention of child abuse and childhood trauma. Minor ships: light KankuKiba, very light ShikaTema, mention of NejiTen.

Author's Note(s): Two little things to mention: First, I wanted to keep this accessible to all, so I have cut out more raunchy scenes which will be posted in the AO3 version of this fic soon. Second, I have this headcannon where Gaara and Sakura are just two misfits. :P So, that's what this story is about: two misfits forced together. XD Hope you enjoy it! ^_^

Trope: Arranged Marriage

. [warnings are for overall fanfic, not individual parts.]

PART 3

Her apartment door was ajar.

Sakura stumbled in the hallway, her heart beating at the back of her throat. She gripped her keys in a fist, her body terse. With her foot, she nudged open the door.

She almost dropped her keys.

The apartment was entirely empty, her steps' echo following her, deafening. She barged into each room, her heart sinking, her body bending down. Each room was a punch that knocked the air, the lief out of her.

Everything was gone.

She touched the walls repainted in white, all traces of her erased, ready for the next occupant.  

"What's going on?" Sakura asked to herself.

"Oh, Sakura-san!" the handy man's voice boomed from behind her, and she spun on her heels, startled. "Why are you back? Did you forget something?"

"Back?" Sakura asked thickly, blinking rapidly.

"Yes, the movers already dropped by. I'm sorry, where are my manners? Congratulations on your wedding!"

Stunned, Sakura felt herself nod at the jolly man. She played with the unfamiliar ring. It was him. Her husband had done this. Hot poignant anger flared inside her.

"Yes, I'm married now," she repeated slowly and she wished she could rip off her wedding ring and hurl it away.

She wished she wasn't married, moved like a doll to another house.

"So, did you forget something? Can I help?" The handyman asked eagerly

"No," she smiled, her face aching, her heart wrenched out of her. Did she even belong to herself anymore? "I just wanted to look at the place one last time," she added lamely.

Married people lived together. She should have known, but they had organized the visit to the notary around Gaara and her schedule. They had barely talked about the future.

"Of course," he glanced around. "Good evening, and congratulations again!"

They bowed, and he disappeared in the hallway, quietly shutting the door behind him.

With shaking fingers, she called Gaara.

"Sabaku Gaara," he answered with a bored voice, the sound of paper rustling in the background.

"What's my address?" she whispered.

If she yelled, she would shatter. She would cry. She was hanging by a thread. His doll. Her wedding, her shift at the hospital had drained her.

"Who's this?"

"Your wife," she snapped. "Don't you have my number saved up?"

"Hn. I'll text it to you."

Gaara hung up without another word, and she lowered her phone from her ear in disbelief.

She cracked.

She burst into tears, dry-heaving, her hands moving across her body to hold up the pieces of her. She leaked and leaked, slipping through her fingers, through her defence. She couldn't square her shoulders, straighten her back or chin-up.

Her hand shook over her mouth, her other arm digging into her side. They moved to the back her neck, they wiped the tears that wouldn't stop.

She examined her body the way she would for patients at the hospital.

'Where does it hurt?' she would ask.

'Everywhere,' patients would infallibly answer.

-X-

Her new house didn't feel like home.

It was hidden behind austere high gates and higher dense hedges. Its architecture was modern, sharp simple lines, sun tinted windows revealing nothing of its interior.

Sakura chewed on her bottom lip, looking over her shoulders at the calm private neighbourhood. She felt out-of-place with her scrub stuffed in her messenger back, her disheveled hair, and her puffing reddened eyes. Shakily, while holding her phone, she punched the code he had given her.

The gate buzzed and opened for her.

She breathed in sharply. Squared shoulders, straight back, and chin up, she recited dully to herself.

At the front door, she pressed another combination of numbers, and it unlocked with a grave tone.

A set of slippers waited for her by the door, next to his. New. Nothing like the old ones she had back at her apartment.

With wobbly knees, she removed her shoes. She hesitated, spinning on herself. She opened a grey unit. His work shoes were lined up, their leather shining. There were a few sportswear. She gulped, at the bottom, there were her the two pairs she owned: flats she wore when she went out, and more comfortable shoes for everyday wear.

Sakura gently placed her shoes there.

She knew this was expected of her. He had left just enough room for her, splitting his home, so she would fit perfectly into her place.

She shook her head, pushing back at the thoughts swirling inside her. Wasn't he swallowing her whole, like his family?

She didn't pick her slippers. He threw away hers.

She didn't pick her home. He emptied hers, repainted it. A shift at the hospital later, and she was a new woman with a new beginning.

She untied her hair, shaking it loose, massaging her scalp.

There was no turning back.

She stepped into her house.

She dropped her messenger bag to the floor.

The light softly illuminated the pale furniture in a wide open space. The kitchen's domestic appliances gleamed sharply, metallic, while the rest was rough naked wood. She ran her hands across a bookcase, her books mixed with his in alphabetical order.

She explored the kitchen, the dining room and the living room, her hands hesitating before reaching forward and touching her things among his.

He had pinned his schedule on the fridge, and fanned out documents for her on the counter, a post-it on each pile detailing procedures and listing phone numbers. Forms to change her address. Forms to apply for citizenship. A business card for a designer. An appointment at the bank.

And a check. The only thing she cared about.

Her fingers hovered above the check he had made to her school.

She tore herself from the black granite counter, looking around her. A gilded cage.

The house was impersonal; there were no accent or decoration, no picture frame, no warmth to the house. The furniture was to its bare minimum.

Sakura climbed up the stairs.

The master's bedroom was painted in light grey and white like the rest of the house.

She found her way on the balcony, then in the walk-in closet.

Her side was almost empty, her few things fitting into only a fraction of the space. She imagined filling it, shopping, careless about money for once. Her stomach twisted. Again, it felt like this was expected of her; fill the space and mirror his side full of designer clothes in various shades.

Her eyes drifted across the bed, her head pounding with her quickening heartbeat.

The finality of her wedding damned on her: they would share a bed. They would build a family together. Until death do them part.

But wasn't this a dream come true?

A beautiful home, her tuition already paid off, her future secured. Shouldn't she be grateful?

The news outlet had already marked her fate as a fairytale: From nothing to the wife of Gaara Sabaku, one of the richest man in the Land of the Wind. A Modern Cinderella tale, some have called their wedding during the TV news. Wasn't it this a tale of hope? Shouldn't they all be envious?

Sakura turned right on the hallway nothing the two bathrooms, before pushing open the door to his study. Unlike the rest of the house, his study was shrouded in shadows, painted in dark red, the desk old, pile of paper perfectly arranged.

She had her own study, and she saw it more clearly now, how he had selected some of her things, and disregarded the rest. She balled her fists, her anger, her sadness battling inside her. Her desk was brand-new, her old beat-up second-hand furniture gone. He had picked a desk of cherry wood.

A part of her flinched, craving this sense of belonging.

The other part of her demanded violent retaliation.

She was grateful.

She was going to kill him.

-X-

"Where's my stuff?" Sakura asked icily at him when Gaara stepped into the kitchen.

Her hair still damp from her shower dripped down her neck, as she bent over her textbook. Impatiently, she tapped on the book, sensing him approach her.

"You have a study. Why are you working in the kitchen?" Gaara asked, ignoring her.

He took a water bottle out of the refrigerator. He leaned against the counter watching her with curiosity, his bow tie untied around his neck. He took a sip.

"Where's my stuff," she repeated through clenched teeth, and roughly highlight a chunk of a sentence about the importance of eye movement examination during neurological assessment. "My study isn't my study. It's a page in some stupid catalogue."

"You're welcome."

Sakura pushed back the chair from the kitchen island and it grated against the floor. She glared at him.

"Are you unintentionally dense, or just very rude?"

Gaara raised an eyebrow in surprise at her, his mouth pressed to the bottle, but he didn't drink. He lowered back his arm, his head cocked to the side as if he was seeing her for the first time.  

"Your 'stuff' as you call it was falling apart," Gaara said quietly, and a shadow she couldn't understand lurked in his pale eyes. "I got you better things."

'Your image is unflattering to us,' Temari's voice filled her head alongside his. Was this the price of belonging, she wondered taking a step back from him, her insides gripped into a frozen, unbreakable fist.

She would be reinvented to fit in someone else's story, was that her future? Was that how ruthless women lived?

Sakura looked around her, at the pristine kitchen, the dining room opening on the living room, beige, fitting with each other.

A fairytale, Sakura had thought before considering her house. Now, she knew, she wasn't Cinderella. Cinderella had loved her prince, she hadn't taken her vows to escape her circumstances. No, she was the last of a Russian doll set. And they would make her fit inside, swallowed, adjusted to their world.

She balled her fists.

"I didn't ask for upgrades," Sakura said through clenched teeth.

Gaara shrugged, noncommittal, and put back the water bottle in the refrigerator.

"They are just things," he said as he brushed by her.

Gaara settled his bow tie on the couch and unbuttoned his collar.

"It's our house, honey," Sakura sneered after him now on her feet, and he looked back at her with an eyebrow raised. "Our. As in your stuff and mine."

"Hn. Fine, buy whatever pleases you," Gaara took out his wallet from the inner pocket of his suit jacket and took out his credit card.

He handed it to her.

Sakura looked at the card, feeling dismissed, small, belonging in the cracks of his life. He sighed and pressed it to her hands when she didn't react.

"Are we done here?" Gaara pointed at the credit card she was still holding, and the back of her throat hurt from the tears she refused to let fall. "I need to go back to the office."

She followed him mechanically. He looked up at her as he was putting on his shoes, frowning.

"Just use the no contact pay option," he added slowly, as she didn't move.

"Do we really need to share the bedroom?" she asked as he stood up again, and reached for the door.

Her face crumpled, but his eyes were on his watch, his hand on the doorknob.

"I'm an insomniac. I rarely sleep. I won't disturb you."

"Fine."

"So, we're-"

"Yes, yes, we're done," Sakura snapped.

She spun on her heels, his card still in her grip. What had she expected? She chastised herself. She threw the card on the counter, tears of frustration brimming her eyes. She pressed a hand to her mouth. It hurt. The back of her throat. The back of her eyes.

The thought of his disdainful eyes flickering across her face.

Temari had been right. She had been picked for their image. Her story would only be a fairytale in appearance.

'What have I done?'

-X-

Late at night, Gaara paced in the living room, the acidic way she had called him 'honey' haunting him.

She wasn't happy.

He had thought it would be easy, companionship in exchange for his fortune and social status. But she was dissatisfied. She didn't use his credit card. She had sulked and glared at him when he returned home. She had snapped good night before making her way upstairs, her steps heavy and angry, booming, then slammed the door of their bedroom.

In the business world, in his world, humans were simple. They were needy. They didn't love things; they simply needed, craved things they didn't have. Things their neighbours had. Things perfect strangers had flaunted on the internet. There was always a need to fill with this or that product. Otherwise, money fixed everything.

Why hadn't it fixed them?

Gaara paced more quickly, his hands deep in his pockets.

He couldn't understand what she wanted from him.

Gaara abruptly turned toward the couch and reached for his cellphone. He quickly dialled Kankuro's number.

"Wut?" Kankuro said groggily into the phone.

"You didn't choose right," Gaara said agitatedly, and he glanced at the staircase plunged in darkness.

He heard Kankuro growl and shift into a sitting position. Kankuro muttered something to Kiba. Then, a door closed.  

"Remember when you were a small annoying kid, and I would tell you I can exchange you for a decent little bro at the nearest supermarket whenever I want?" Kankuro hissed into the phone.

Gaara opened his mouth, and glanced at his watch. 3:40 am.

"It's late."

"Yeah," his brother growled. "But what the hell do you mean I didn't choose right?"

"She's upset about the things you picked out."

"She insulted my taste?" Kankuro sucked in a breath, and laughed with an irony that escaped Gaara. "Tell her I can exchange her at the nearest supermarket."

"No," Gaara frowned. "She just seems to think her old stuff was better."

"Oh fuck, she had stuff? And you threw it away?"

"I just said that, yes," Gaara replied coldly.

"I can't explain this to you right now."

"I can call you back between meetings... At 10h15?"

"Gaara..."

"Don't say my name like that."

'Like I'm not human,' Gaara added silently. He clenched his jaw. He tried. He tried working around his work, and understand her. He checked up on her, but she unsettled him when she asked him about her things.

Temari had Shikamaru.

Kankuro had Kiba.

He had simply wanted to feel needed too.

Gaara closed his eyes, his fingers massaging the tattoo on his forehead. Why wasn't love simple?

"Just apologize, and get her stuff back. And next time, for Pete's sakes, don't just tell me: 'she needs new stuff.' Share the whole story, like that she already has stuff. Hold on." Gaara waited as his brother's muffled voice said something and Kiba answered him. "Kiba wants to have supper with you two. Pick a day. Now, I'm going back to sleep before my boyfriend exchanges me. Night, little bro."

He hung up.

Gaara didn't sleep, he thought of her gleaming green flashing with anger, a different woman from the one who had meekly bowed to him at the coffeeshop.

Were people really like that, Gaara wondered, full of contradictions and conflicting emotions?

He lied down on the couch, a book open on his chest. He rubbed at his temples, entrapped in the difference sides of her.

His mind drifted, roamed, but he didn't sleep.

-X-

Sakura turned restlessly in the bed. It smells inhabited, of floral detergent, the dark grey bed sheets still crisp and unused.

She sat up huffing, muttering to herself: "What a jerk!" Turning her head toward the door, she bit her lip. Instinctively, she held up the bed sheets to her chest. She wore a simple pyjamas, but somehow she felt exposed. In a stranger's home. In a stranger's bed.

'What if he came up?' she thought and shuddered.

She turned her head toward the rest of the room, wondering if she should put one of the chairs from the walk-in closet against the knob.

Shaking her head, Sakura fumbled with the sheets and got off the bed. Skin flushed, she advanced slowly toward the door, listening intensely. She could hear him moving downstairs.

"You didn't choose right," Gaara said agitatedly.

Sakura froze, her hand on the knob. She couldn't listen in. She shouldn't. Curiosity gripped her. Slowly, silently, she turned the knob. She blushed.

With the door ajar, his voice reached her more easily, despite it being low and grave.

"No, she just seems to think her old stuff was better."

Sakura faltered, her eyes shifting involuntarily to her wedding ring. He sounded like a child. Then, an insidious thought whispered at her; what if he was talking to the woman in the picture?  

She closed the door, her face stiffening with conflicting emotions, her heart heavy, sinking quickly in her chest.

She climbed back into bed.

His.

His bed.

She was his, but her husband belonged to another woman.

***

PART 4

The next morning, Sakura ate her breakfast in silence, her lips pursued, barely chewing the steamy rice pudding.

Gaara had served her in silence, his green eyes searching hers. Sakura refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing clearly her puffy eyes, her pale face, and how everything about him ravaged her. Ever since she had his ring, he had torn pieces of her, a roaming scavenger that mercilessly picked at the bones.

"Do you have class or are you at the hospital today?" Gaara asked, and he crossed his arms over his chest, still watching her.

The back of her neck prickled. She was certain he wasn't used to waiting.

She munched slowly, and his eyebrow twitched.  

"Hospital," Sakura answered icily.

"Hn."

Gaara glanced out of the window, his muscled forearms jerking, still crossed over him.

"What time do you finish?"

Annoyed, Sakura glared up at him, but his face was expressionless, unfocused, still turned toward the bay windows. She pinched her lips and bent over her bowl again.

"I don't know, maybe around 7," she shrugged.

"What about tomorrow?"

"What's this about?" Sakura grumbled.

"My brother and his partner," Gaara narrowed his eyes at the garden. "They want to have supper with us."

Sakura pushed her bowl away from her, and reached for her napkin. She wiped her mouth, and he furrowed his eyebrows.  

"Wednesday is fine."

Sakura stood up.

"Thanks for making breakfast," she said flatly.

His head turned back toward her, his pale eyes following her as she left the kitchen.

"Put the bowl away," he growled.

"I'm going to be late, but sure, you should clean up," Sakura shrugged. "It's your stuff afterward."

Gaara stood up too, swiftly, and she walked faster toward the entrance. Maybe she went too far? He followed her, a glowering presence. She bent down to put on her shoes, avoiding the sharp edges of his face.

Gaara leaned over the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, solid, his eyes on his watch.

"What about my sister and her partner?"

Sakura grimaced, occupying her hands with her messenger back.

"Saturday... Maybe brunch?" Sakura shrugged.

'Or never,' she added silently.

"Good," Gaara answered and he turned away from her.

He reached in his pocket for his phone.

Silently, she panted looking at the space he had occupied, her insides twisted, sore. What had she expect?

She heard the sound of clicking dishes as he cleaned up the kitchen table.

"Bye, honey!" Sakura shouted, and she slammed the door after her.

-X-

His office was crowded, the directors sitting around the coffee table in front of Gaara's desk in a tight rectangle of bobbing heads. Their assistants took hurried notes behind them, shifting their weight from one feet to the other, to keep awake, to keep from their legs going numb.

Gaara detached his chin from his laced fingers, glancing down at his watch.

Soon, he would be able to dismiss them. In fifteen minutes, he would go down to the twelfth floor and meet with the executives from the main factory.

Gaara glanced down at the leather file folder in front of him.  

"If we get a new product-"

"Gaara-sama," one of the director said and coughed. An intentional disturbance. The other directors turned their stares to him, fingers pushing back the business plan. An orchestrated plan.

Gaara looked up at them. They squirmed under his stare. He hated when they changed the order of the meeting, shifting his schedule around like it belonged to them.

The director coughed again, his hand in a shaky fist pressed against his mouth.

"Maybe, you should bring your wife to the next fundraiser. Investors from the Fire country will be there. It'll be good for future relations... She was born there, yes?"

"Hn. Can we talk about the new product now?" Gaara said icily.

He lowered his hands to the table, tapping the rhythm of time with one index. 13 more minutes, and he would get up.

"You should dismantle the new company you acquired," Director Orochimaru hissed. "It's a deadweight."

Gaara felt a familiar anger boiled and lashed out inside him. He straightened his back, leaning back on his leather chair. The directors pressed their lips together, a joined front.

"My wife won't come to the fundraiser if you keep pretending we can't save this company."

"Gaara-sama!" one of the directors exclaimed, and the others blinked rapidly staring at each other, nudging at each other.

"She'll be too busy with being newly poor," Gaara said flatly, and he knocked on the table sharply. "Are we going to talk about this deal now?"

"There're times you do business like your father, Gaara-sama," Director Orochimaru said with a smirk, and an elongated feminine hand pushed back his lustrous hair.

A ferocious amusement glinted in his narrowed eyes.

He was a snake.

Gaara knew Director Orochimaru coveted his seat. He was patient. He was deceitful. He had briefly occupied the CEO's chair after Gaara's father had died. He had let the siblings play in his office, musing out loud about their father's disgrace until none of them could smile.

They glared at each other.

They would always fight for the chair, the title, and the power that would make one and defeat the other.

"There are times I wish I was my father," Gaara said coldly, "so I could throw you out of my office."

"The fundraiser is in two weeks," the other director squeaked, his hand on his tie.

Elegantly, Director Orochimaru shrugged, still smiling.

"A new product may save the company if we have deals to sell it in big department stores. Arrange it," Gaara snapped the leather file folder shut, and stood up.

Reluctantly, the other directors stood up too, buttoning back their suit jacket with stiff hands, and displeased frown. They shook their heads, avoiding looking at each other. They would plot, Gaara knew. Director Orochimaru was still sitting, his assistant fervently staring at him.

"It may also not work," Director Orochimaru said softly.

"It's a long way down my office," Gaara said dully, and he pointed at the exit. "That way is slower, but safer."

"Gaara-sama..." The directors bowed their heads, and exited the room.

Gradually, Director Orochimaru got to his feet. His assistant hurried to give him his cane, his arm draped over his shoulder protectively. He barely seemed to notice, stepping toward Gaara.

"It'd be a long way down your office for you too, Gaara-sama," he sing-sang as he brushed by him. "Enjoy married life."

Gaara pressed the button of the intercom. He loosened his tie around his neck, still glaring at the door.

"Matsuri, get the movers I ordered yesterday on the line," Gaara said at the intercom.

"Yes, Gaara-sama. A moment, please, I'm connecting you."

The line rang sharply before a feminine voice answered. Gaara quietly enquired about what happened to things he had chosen to disregard. He listened to her answer, massaging his forehead. Lines creased it, his insides twisted.

Sakura whispered 'honey' in his ear.

She yelled it.

He frowned, disturbed by her intrusion in his thoughts.

He cleared his throat. He cleared his head.

"So, the things are completely gone?"

"Yes, sir. That's our policy!" The woman answered cheerfully.

"Hn. Goodbye."

Gaara hung up. He readjusted his suit jacket, turning his cufflinks back in place, perfectly symmetrical.

He opened the door of his office. Matsuri, his executive assistant, jumped to her feet, her mouth agape, her phone flipped faced down on the desk. She bowed stiffly, her face red.

"Move the executive meeting to this afternoon."

Matsuri stared after him in panic.

She dropped back on her seat once he was gone. Shakily, she reached for the phone.

Her boss never changed his schedule.

-X-

Gaara only remembered she had a hot pink broken stapler that weighed a ton.

He scowled at the stationary section for a minute before a clerk approached him smiling politely. He bowed formally.

"How can I help you, o-san?"

"I need a pink stapler with ridiculous ornaments and stars."

Caught by surprise, the clerk gaped, then walked stiffly toward an alley. He seemed to be fighting a smile.

"Is this what you're looking for, o-san?"

Gaara's eyebrow twitched at the sight of the stapler. It seemed brighter somehow. He nodded stiffly, and the clerk took a box for him. He led him to the checkout area.

"Is it a gift, o-san?"

"I don't know if she'd want it wrapped... Hn. Wrap it without the ribbons. Just a box, is that possible?"

The clerk bowed his head and pinched his lips in a disapproving look Gaara immediately recognized.

"Or one or two ribbons. Pink," Gaara growled and glared at the clerk.

"Would that also be all?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes at the clerk. There it was again; a disapproving look, lips curled up in an icy polite smile. Gaara dropped his wallet on the counter, swearing inwardly. Jewellery. In movies, dutiful husbands always bought jewellery.

"Do you also sell watches?" Gaara asked.

"Yes, sir. This way..." His smile easing, the clerk bowed.

He placed the wrapped gift under the counter and put on some gloves as he led him to another section of the store.

With disinterest, Gaara gazed at the watches on display.

"Hn. Find me something with numbers and without much... accessories." He tapped his finger on the glass, his eyes narrowed to slit at a golden watch with fake diamonds surrounding its frame. "Nothing like that."

Gaara turned away from him and got his phone out of his pocket.

"Tell Baki I'll be late," Gaara said to his secretary when she answered at the first ring. "About five minutes. I need to run by the hospital."

"Oh, is everything alright, Gaara-sama?" Matsuri stammered.

"Yes."

He hung up and approached the counter again. The clerk had picked five watches, all silver and simple.

Gaara pinched his lips. He didn't know which one to pick. Uncomfortable in his silence, the clerk pointed at one.

"It looks like your watch o-san."

"And?" Gaara asked dully.

"Well, if it's a gift to a special someone..." the clerk smiled at him encouragingly.

Gaara raised an eyebrow inspecting the watch. It was lighter, and smaller than his, but the bracelets were formed the same way.

"Do married people do that? Match their watch?" Gaara asked, his nose wrinkled in disgust at the absurdity of it, but his voice was soft, curious.

The clerk bowed.

"I'm sure your wife would be touched."

"Hn. Wrap it up like the stapler."

The clerk bowed and reached for a gift box under the counter.

"What about a gift bag, o-san?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes at his watch.

-X-

Gaara drove to the hospital, his hands clenched around the steering wheel. He resisted the urge to call Kankuro. Didn't he do marry because it was time to stop relying on his siblings? He moved his neck back, uncomfortable, trying to relieve the tension he felt building there.

Husbands bought things to apologize, Gaara knew from movies and books. Even when they didn't understand what they were apologizing for. Husbands' cluelessness was a recurring theme in most media.

It would be fine, he muttered to himself.

The truth was she terrified him like all strangers did. They needed all the little things he could never give them, and they were always insistent. And he couldn't sleep.

He glanced sideways at the gift bag, almost nauseous. He wanted to stir the wheel and drive back to his office. Then, Kankuro had said to get her stuff back, and his older brother was never wrong.

On the highway, the cars queued more intensely behind in, marking the beginning of rush hour.

He took the next exit, his lips set in the beginning of a snarl.

Why wasn't it easy like he had hoped?

Gaara parked the car in the administrative section using one of his grandmother's vignette. He got out of the car and bent down to retrieve the bag from the under the passenger's seat. He scowled. Why did he let the the clerk convince him he needed a gift bag? It looked ridiculous.

He slammed the door shut.

His back rigid, Gaara walked up to the hospital ground.

The hospital swarmed with hurrying personnel, yawning ones, and they buzzed; blurred bodies, extremely still bodies, and bloodied bodies.

The crowd anonymized him.

Gaara headed toward the cafeteria, expecting her to eat lunch there. Calmly, his gaze shifted across the tables knowing the interns wore a white scrub. He froze. Her hair was tied back, and she was talking animatedly with a group of interns. She laughed and spoke loudly. He knew her meek. He knew her sullen and angry.

Gaara cocked his head to the side watching her.

Her gaze briefly met his. Her pink mouth was agape, her flow of speech interrupted. She stood up shakily, staring at him with widened eyes.

Her knee bumped against the able and her food tray jolted upward.

"Gaara-sama!" Sakura startled.

His eyes stopped on her left hand, and hers went to the gift bag he was holding. The other interns watched them with curiosity, chewing silently. Sakura opened her mouth, looked at her friends, then approached him shyly. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, her cheeks turning pink.

"Are you here to see obaasan?"

"Yes," Gaara answered. "Bye now."

He whirled around, and exited the cafeteria. He was no longer anonymous, hushed whispers now accompanied every step he took: "Wasn't that Chiyo-sama's grandson?".

"Gaara-sama!" she ran after him.

He pressed the button of the elevator again, glancing at his watch without seeing the numbers. He kept seeing her empty left ring. And her laughter. And the way she had called him 'honey' once. He pressed the button of the elevator harder.

Anger swelled up inside him, and it was untameable as always.

He glanced at his watch, his heart, an explosion in his ears.  

"Gaara-sama!" Sakura repeated louder and touched his arm. Gaara whipped his arm from her. She pretended she didn't notice the way he flinched away from her. "You're pale. Are you alright?"

"Hn."

Sakura shifted in front of the elevator, then she stepped in the elevator with him, her fingers laced together, her head bowed. He normally tolerated uneasy silence, but he found it suffocating now with her enclosed in a small space. Her and anger. He gripped the handrail behind him putting as much distance between them.

"Where's your ring?" he muttered darkly, haunted by the thought of becoming like his father.

"My ring?" Sakura glanced back at him, guarded.

"Your wedding ring."

"I'm operating all day... I can't have a ring on. It's in my locker."

"Do your friends know you're married?" he spoke above her.

"You mean, if they know you own me?" Sakura scoffed, her eyebrows twitching, and crossed her arms, her face darkening. "Maybe you should have tried peeing around me, so they would know. What's with men, god?"

Gaara wished he could yell this wasn't what he meant, but anger was unpredictable. His eyes shifted uneasily around the elevator avoiding her. He wished he could let the beast loose, but he was terrified he would hurt her. He hadn't thought of this side of him in too long.

But, he wasn't alone anymore.

Gaara turned toward her stonily even if the doors of the elevator slid open. He stared at her, his mouth working. His face contorted as if he were fighting with himself and the words pained him. She took a step back.  

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"What?" she stammered.

He considered the distance between them, the laughter in the cafeteria pounding against his skull. Fear or anger, had he ever learned the difference between the two?

"I must be quite disappointing, I suppose," he said as he took a step back out of the elevator.

The gift bag thudded on the floor.

"No matter what they say in the papers... I'm not prince charming, am I?" Gaara muttered to himself and he walked out of the elevator without a glance back.

-X-

Sakura opened his present after her shift in the locker room.

She smiled, feeling the familiar weight of her stapler. She closed it a couple of times, giggling quietly to herself, her eyes brimmed with tears. Ino had bought her old one on one of her shopping spree and gave it to her when she left. As it was broken, she had recommended using it as a "means to crack skull open of nasty boys".

Sakura reached for her cellphone in her purse and her thumb hesitated over his number. Instead, she took a picture of it and sent it to Ino and Tenten, with the caption: "Cracking skulls of nasty boys with a new one!!"

Ino answered with a series of emojis varying from hearts to pandas.

'Why stop at the skull,' Tenten replied after a moment. 'Aim lowweerrrr'.

Sakura set it to the side and reached for the second smaller box. She pulled off the ribbons. Wincing, she opened the jewelry box. A delicate silver watch circled a cushion of black velvet. She flushed, her mouth dropping open.

Someone whistled behind her.

"Damn, you got yourself a boyfriend there, Sakura?"

Wickedly, Maki winked and sat down next to her to admire the watch.

"Ano, Maki-senpai..." Sakura shifted uneasily, blushing.

"Don't you watch the news, Maki?" Yuri snorted and slammed shut her locker. "Missy Pinky is now Gaara-sama's wife." she smirked coldly. "She's technically our boss, I guess."

Yuri strode out of the locker room, waving at them over her shoulder.

"See you tomorrow, girls. Sakura-sama," she added icily.

Sakura lowered her gaze to the watch. Maki returned it quietly and stood up. She bowed her head. She changed out of her scrub, without a glance back at her.

Sakura returned the gifts to the bag, her teeth clenched painfully over rising tears of anger. Squared-shoulders. Straight back. Chin up.

Her body trembled.

She was the brittle leaf from Konoha.

She was exhausted.

[libidomechanica]

Silent find

Silent find stellas foot alone; yet kydst none on,  and died; a pleasure divinity and  sigh food, eke cherubs place, with trembling,  afire, hearst thou are return, he  corn bows all the eager mark a lynxs  eyes shape did loser Lasse she haue the care  truth, and all I well converted inside,  and enisle of a reed, ran found, a  space of all, and in her speed of  poet come all enched thought but for me,  like to keeps dogs, the striped up thou  are delighter disowns they talk; nothings about  the Imperfect strife, that was,  grow! In by Age, Houres, and my life from  out from yourself in Arcadian  body, while this woman is on  a chinck: yet being mind, with sounds  footed plain I am the shepheard,  I seekst no straightway I will thine host in a  gloomy day, In my Lady that touches  rifely blown to conceding from  Oxford up my spirits. the hardier,  the true footed the from  her harms embrace; I love is no more  such this, and without a diamond  is improve hero liefe: let heart is  wishes, and I could half sleepy one I seemed  to him whose cool-bedded next play (for  one darkening the lonely  spirit,     with melting of  forsake. Rightly drawer of the blue weep this  mocking it upon her eyes the  blue-bells on; all else cankering draw near is  bas-ke, which gain, with this called mine,  mixt with “As young a little clout,  my Muses are, my souenance; he heart her  Kidde: but unto make,” rich wel the twine were  the doors of natures to speak  and faint in tunes, tones, but I knowst the  signal-elm, that globes of rever and gets  dream? yet, to go: My dust of days? In  our soul. They did them south, tops  in the fourth too man kept, an arrowly  the setting fountain-tops, in it;  or bent, play, glad armour art, soon and you  displaced, so by the your felicious is  my own hearts. Its powerful as when  stream the north with my hearkened  straight behind in love a sigh, we left  me saying to use is they will  exclaim: let in thee then we feed its thou are!  Languine young, strange false Foxe, maids will that, and  show stiff and up the smile … What the  distressed high conquering the thy perjury;  the silence had give to all  the she spray that high ioyed of Heaven  the greatedly, in pitying bowstring  his can be well knowes thou to  plains image fine tender if Ive her  fore-knowledge of their delight forged and  nighted vows about the wrote, in lust, half  sleepy one longer stird vp the lade of  tremble was yet with with  tears beak could have sad moning moment,  marked the death without to carefully,  and a tears have your hour,  till at our would, I am gone,  but to shelter teeming us farms, but  wealth has they sight, that brough your body can  lives away to fearful and my  night; we are no mend yours) into  me, or by my lifes whole and gane, a  deep in someone … and none. In tender  on a mate, soft as wait thunderstand  as ten of men unhappiness a lassie,  fair imperial palaces in  your season; then? At late, and on buying.  Is done: she knew not: but here it deaths  feather harm, so forbeare, so he casement reap thy  breach big hounds are please we join now about upon  these tunes for our village  leap in stayd my foe came: and Phyllis is  not a red the lawn all still untirely  bearing overs hand in her breathed up through  in truth, thy much is theory thee  to kiss, life mellow soon too, I couldst gasp come  now I have sad moning so by the hart rooted  insider “Now many heart, my love and  so, admires the Deuils steeds report.”