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system-to-the-madness · 5 months

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Cherry Blossom Comfort 🌸 Zuko x Reader

Pairing: Zuko x Reader(can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1 724 Warnings: Major Spoilers for the graphic novel “The Search” Summary: Zuko opens up to you about his feelings about his family

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Zuko’s head was heavily resting in your lap, cushioned on the deep red fabric of your gown pulled over your soft thighs. His amber eyes watched your face closely as you ran your hands through his dark hair, admiring the way the soft strands so effortlessly slipped through your fingers. It had been a while since you had sat like this. Between the conflict at the former colony of Yu Dao, now its own state, and the immediately following search for Zuko’s mother, there had been little time for any kind of quiet intimacy between Zuko and you.

After you had found his mother, and had returned to the palace, Zuko had been quieter than you knew him to be. He had spent a long time talking to his mother before leaving her and his half-sister in order to return to the palace, and you suspected that whatever they had discussed, was still occupying his mind. Usually, he talked to you about whatever thought he couldn’t get rid of, but so far, he had kept it shut inside, making you wonder if it simply was something he did not want to share, if he didn’t want to share it with you, or if he only needed a little more time to think about it.

A few days ago, he had eventually asked if you wanted to come to Ba Sing Se with him, an invitation you had gladly taken. You were staying at his uncle's place, a small house with only a few rooms, which gave the two of you the opportunity to share the narrow bed and cuddle up each night. In the palace, there were always guards around, and Zuko had been advised that it would be better if the two of you were not to sleep in the same room, at least not too often, to avoid gossip. Zuko had been in an especially bad mood after that for a while, grumbling about how he was your boyfriend and why anybody other than the two of you should be concerned with your relationship. But if he had learnt anything in the year of being Fire Lord, it was that certain advice was better to be followed, and as much as both of you hated it, this was one of the instances.

This in turn meant both of you cherished the time at Uncle Iroh’s home even more. With the excuse of not enough space, you got to share a bed each night, falling asleep in each other’s arms without the concern of guards walking in or starting rumours.

Both of you were aware that you could not hide out in Ba Sing Se forever, but you had agreed that a holiday of a few days would be acceptable, and so you spent the days either helping in Uncle Iroh’s tea shop or talking long walks in the parks that spread wide and far through the city.

Now you were sitting in the garden that belonged to his uncle’s tea shop, back against the trunk of a blooming cherry tree, Zuko laying spread out on the ground, his head resting in your lap. Usually, you would have taken the opportunity to ask him what he was thinking about, but considering the events of the past month, the almost-war at Yu Dao and the reunion with his mother, which he still hadn’t talked about, you thought it would be better if he were the one to talk first. Or not. While you were curious about what had happened, you never wanted to make him feel like you were prying into parts of his life he wasn’t ready to share with you.

His eyes flickered from your face to the pink blossoms above your heads, before focusing back on you, a smile tucking at his lips before he spoke.

“You know,” he began, his voice soft, “For the time in which I was thinking Ikem was my father, I was almost relieved.”

Ikem, the man his mother had loved before having been married to his father Ozai, and the man who she had returned to after leaving the palace.

Quietly you nodded, more to yourself than Zuko. You had suspected as much, judging from his behaviour and how he had talked about Ozai in these days.

“If Ikem had been my father, I’d never have to worry about turning out like Ozai again,” he explained, his eyes almost absentmindedly tracing your features, like a routine that brought him comfort. “I wouldn’t be in danger to turn as crazy and delusional as him, or Azula. And I could have stopped feeling guilty for not being as powerful a firebender as them.”

You wanted to disagree, tell him he was as good as them, but the truth was they were more powerful than he would probably ever be, even though he had by far the better techniques and his skills were more refined. The only ones who had ever looked down on him for that had been the two of them, and to you it couldn’t matter less how good at firebending he was, or whether he was a bender at all. But you had a feeling this talk was better to be had at another time. Right now it was more important that Zuko got to share his thoughts uninterrupted, while he felt safe and comfortable enough to confide you.

“And Azula…” He trailed off, his eyes leaving your face and returning to the blossoms above him. “I always got told these stories when I was little, about siblings sticking together, through thick and thin, like Sokka and Katara. But Azula and I never were like that. Even when I tried to be what I thought a big brother should be like, she only ever took pleasure in humiliating me. If I had been only her half-brother, it would have felt like an explanation, and I could have stopped feeling guilty for it.”

A crease was forming on his forehead, and you brought your hand from his hair to his face, brushing over his forehead with your thumb.

“Why would you feel guilty for the way she was treating you, hm,” you asked. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Zuko agreed. “Still there were times when I just wanted to get along with her. I just wanted a normal family. For my father to love me the way my mother had, for Azula to treat me like her brother, even if that includes the one or the other rivalry. But not like some second-class human being.”

“In Azula’s eyes everyone who isn’t her is a second-class human being,” you mumbled.

“I know,” Zuko sighed. “But still.”

“I’m sorry that you never got the family you wished for,” you whispered. “You have every right to be upset about that.”

“For a moment I thought, I could have that family, you know,” Zuko admitted. “If Ikem really would have been my father- I could have had a normal family, the one I always wanted, a father who’s proud of me, my mother who never made me feel small or irrelevant and a sister who actually sees me as a human and not just a challenge.” He took a deep breath. “But I always would have doubted my position as Fire Lord,” he continued. “I wouldn’t have known where I belonged anymore.” He hesitated for a moment before he added: “I think I would have even started to doubt that I belong at your side.”

“I wouldn’t have allowed you to doubt that,” you told him, and the crease on his forehead softened under your insistent brushing over it. You could have been only of little help if he had started doubting his position as Fire Lord, but you would never let him question that the two of you belonged with each other. That was not a matter of heritage, it was a matter of your hearts, your souls. As dramatic as it sounded, you were convinced that Zuko and you were bound together by more than the emotions you were aware of.

Even before you had really gotten to know another, back when you had still been enemies, you had always found and saved each other, even when all rationality had dictated the opposite. You had defied probability and logic again and again, consciously, and subconsciously, so much that by the time Zuko had turned up at the Wester Air Temple with an awkward “Hello, Zuko here”, you had been convinced you were cursed to always run into him.

Now you were convinced it was something else entirely, something that would lead you back to find each other no matter when and where you were. For a while Zuko had loved to throw around the word ‘destiny’, and even though you hardly believed in that concept, you couldn’t imagine to not be bound to him by destiny.

Zuko’s eyes found yours, clear amber staring up at you on a mixture of wonder and admiration.

“No,” he finally agreed with you. “I belong with you. No matter who I am, or where, or when. I’m yours.”

You smiled at the certainty in his voice, knowing that right now there was absolutely no doubt in neither of your hearts about that. Gently you brushed his hair aside and leant down to press a kiss to his forehead. His eyes flickered closed blissfully, and you grinned at the way he puckered his lips, expecting a kiss there too, but you pulled away teasingly. When he realised you weren’t going to kiss him, he blinked his eyes open, frowning at you disapprovingly, while snuggling into the palm with which you cupped his face. Sometimes it still surprised you how touch starved he was.

“And I’m yours,” you whispered, making him blush. After almost a year of exchanged whispers like this you would think he had gotten used to them yet, but you loved how you were still able to fluster him so easily.

“I’m just glad I get to be by your side,” Zuko confessed, making you smile.

“I’m glad, too,” you replied before leaning down again, this time softly kissing his lips, pretending like the soft sigh that slipped past his lips did not make your heart skip a beat, but you had a feeling Zuko knew either way.

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