#sam: he was about to brainwash us all jackass

[pikaflute]

If Sam gave the little pharaoh in episode 303 like a ds with pokemon on it I don't think he would've brainwashed everyone

[bethdutten]

I Won’t Break

words: 1k-ish

summary: Just a few moments that reminded Bucky why he loved you.

a/n: a tiny lil drabble to get me back into writing lol

The thing Bucky loved the most about you, is that you didn’t treat him like he was breakable like everyone else.

He finally got why Steve used to get so upset when people treated him differently because of his illnesses and smaller frame. Bucky never did; that must have been why Steve kept him around even when he could be a jackass sometimes.

When Bucky got back from Wakanda and was accepted by (most) of the team after Shuri managed to erase all the HYDRA brainwashing from his mind, he hated how everyone acted around him. He’d been through this before; when Steve saved him in Azzano, he’d been tortured and isolated and drugged, yet he still went back into war with him. And he was good. But everyone treated him like he was damaged and fragile now.

Except you. The first time you met, he knew you were different. 

It was in the conference room, Tony sending death glares over as Bucky tried not to cower behind Steve, despite being terrified that any of these people with guns would shoot at him any second. Not that he didn’t deserve it. As Steve introduced everyone, they all stared at him with looks ranging from anger to curiosity to fear. He should be used to it.

What he was not used to was when Steve got to you, and you looked him up and down, whistled, and breathed out, “He’s hot.”

Bucky blushed, biting back a smile when Sam punched your arm.

“What? He is,” you hissed, shrugging. “Just because he’s a brainwashed assassin means I can’t think he’s hot?”

Steve glared, but you just send Bucky a wink, and he smiled for the first time in a very, very long time.

It wasn’t that you weren’t sensitive to his issues-- on the contrary, you always seemed to know what he needed before even he did. You held him through every nightmare, stayed up with him on nights he didn’t trust himself to close his eyes for fear of what he would see behind them, sat with him through all the times he got sick because the meds Bruce worked on to combat both his depression and anxiety needed fine-tuning to get past the serum-- he didn’t know what he did to deserve you.

 You pushed him, knew just where the boundary was, never forcing him too far into something he wasn’t ready for. He thinks most of his progress was due to you, encouraging him and supporting him even when he didn’t believe in himself. Like on missions, where Steve and Tony tried to hold him back, you did the opposite.

“I think we should send Bucky.” you inserted, tossing down the folder with the mission brief. 

Steve frowned, shaking his head. “Definitely not. This is HYDRA’s top guys, they could recognize him.”

You shrugged. “Exactly. Send him in there dressed as the Winter Soldier, he can infiltrate their group and take them down before they even realize he’s not on their side.”

“Fuck no,” Steve hissed. “I’m not going to put him through that, are you crazy?” You were expecting this sort of reaction from Steve, but it still earned him an eye roll from you.

Bucky hesitantly stood, looking between his girlfriend and best friend. “Uh, I’m with Steve on this one--”

You glanced over at Bucky, eyes softening immediately. “Look, I know this will probably traumatize you--” Steve went to interrupt, but you raised your hand and continued speaking, “Or... it could be a chance for us to use the Soldier for good. All that bad stuff about him? Use it to take HYDRA down. Only you can do that, Bucky. Make them regret turning you into the thing that would take them down.”

“I said no,” Steve interjected, looking at Bucky like he was waiting for him to back his captain up. It was his friend’s call, ultimately. Bucky glanced back to you, and you just nodded. He remembered the first conversation you had with him alone, before you’d even started dating.

“I don’t think you were ever the Winter Soldier, Bucky,” you’d said, voice low as an episode of The Office droned on in the background. It was past midnight, and the Tower was quiet. “I think you were always this talented, loyal, protective and smart soldier, but they convinced you to fight for the wrong side. If you took all those skills and used them for good, you’d be unstoppable. Bucky Barnes is unstoppable.” 

He searched your eyes for any signs of doubt, but only saw trust. You thought he could do this. You wouldn’t send him in there if you didn’t.

“Okay.” he agreed, ignoring the frustrated huff Steve let out. “But if something goes wrong, you take me out. I mean it, as many shots as it takes, doesn’t let me hurt anyone else.”

You just smiled, leaning up and giving him a kiss. “Won’t need to, baby. You’ve got this.”

And he did. After a slight panic attack after putting on the Winter Soldier uniform, he remembered what you told him, and talked himself down, then let himself slip into the mind of the Soldier. Except this time, he kept reminding himself he needed to come home to you.

He took down two thirds of HYDRA in one mission, singlehandedly. 

And if, god forbid, you do treat him like he should be handled with care, Bucky can get a little snarky. Like the one time you tried to spare him some anxiety and suggested skipping Tony’s stupid annual Avengers gala.

You zipped up your dress, giving him one more look before you picked up your purse. “Buck, we can just stay home. Really, I don’t--”

“Would you quit it? Stop treating me like I’m some fragile little kid, I won’t break!” he snapped, angrily yanking at his bowtie before giving up and throwing it down. 

You sighed, leaning down and picking it up before stepping in and wrapping it around his neck to tie it for him. “I’m not acting like you’re going to break, but I will start treating you like a kid if you don’t grow the fuck up.”

Bucky stared down at you in disbelief, about to yell at you when his eyes suddenly drifted to your lips. “Will you break?”

You paused, knowing exactly where his mind was going. Abandoning the bowtie and sliding your hands down the front of his tux instead, you shrugged. “Wanna find out?”

“Fuck,” Bucky growled, hitching you up in his arms and pinning you against the nearest wall without a second thought. Needless to say, you didn’t end up going to the gala after all.

You always reminded him how special and good he was. Even in ways he would have never guessed. Like winters in New York, right after you moved in together.

“Jesus, Bucky, your arm is freezing,” you groaned, shoving it off you from where he had placed it over your middle.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “What do you want me to do about it? I wanna hold my girl—“

“Then take it off.”

He froze, looking down at your soft form curled up beside him. “Take it off?”

You snorted, shifting over to stare up at him blearily. “Yeah, you can do that, right?”

Of course he could just take it off. But no one has ever asked him to. Or asked if he wanted to. He just assumed people would get freaked out if he didn’t have it on. Especially you. 

You watched him eyeing you carefully, before you rolled your eyes and gave him a fond smile. “I didn’t suddenly forget my boyfriend was an amputee, Buck. If it doesn’t bother you, please take it off and come cuddle me.”

It occurred to him that sometimes even he forgot he was an amputee. He gave you one last look, then reached over and pressed the series of buttons on the back of his shoulder then disengaged the arm, carefully unattached it and resting it on the chair beside the bed. 

“Usually when you tell me to ‘take it off’, this isn’t what you mean,” he mumbled, a quiet snicker coming from the pile of blankets you were burrowed in. He slid back under the covers, waiting for you to recoil or edge away from him, but you just tucked yourself in the space where his arm used to be and grumbled, “Much better,” before dozing off again.

God, he loved you.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Northern Exposure | Bucky // End

❄ PART 4 OF THE MINI-SERIES ❄

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Warnings: non consent sex and rape (series); violence, creepiness on part of our boys, predatory behaviour, Bucky’s an asshole, they’re all too lonely and too desperate, mistaken identity, spanking, binding, death, mentions of brainwashing.

This is dark! fic and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairings: Sam Wilson x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, A Bad Time x Reader

Series Synopsis: You’re a nature photographer stationed up north but the arctic isolation comes to an unexpected and unpleasant end.

Note: I'm gonna be away dealing with lots of personal issues but will see yall when I get back and look forward to it.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You were dazed as Steve pulled the tee shirt back over your head. He sat you in the same chair he made you fuck him on and you stared at your palms as he moved around. Your body didn’t feel like yours. You bent and unbent your fingers as you tried to feel anything but the buzzing rawness in your core. A plate clinked loudly on the table and you raised your head.

Steve pulled up a chair around the side of the table, his knee almost against yours as he sat, “you have to eat.”

You blinked at the dry looking chicken breast on yellow rice with overcooked corn and peas. He took the fork and you reached for it and he quickly batted down your hand.

Confused, you parted your lips and he cut into the chicken. He scooped up a forkful and held it out to you carefully, his hand cupped under it to catch any spills.

“It’s hot, blow on it,” he said.

You felt hollow and your brain could only think of the food as the scent made your stomach clench hungrily. You blew carefully on the fork and let him slide it into your mouth. He repeated it, again and again. Each bite was easier and despite the odd texture of the food, you didn’t mind the taste.

When the plate was cleared, he set down the fork and unfolded the paper napkin. He wiped your mouth, his finger tickled your bottom lip and he hummed. He handed you the bottle of water and leaned back as he watched you drink.

“You gotta keep your energy up,” he said, “it’s our fault. We’ve neglected you.”

You put the bottle down and shrunk in on yourself. It was all fucked. The more you sat there across from this man, the more your chest felt as if it would collapse. You lowered your head again and traced the line of your palm with your thumb.

“You need to sleep, I know Sam didn’t let you do much of that,” he said, “admittedly, I was selfishly impatient,” he stood and you watched him cross the room. He took the throw from over the back of the couch and looked over his shoulder at you, “come on. You should at least try.”

You didn’t move. You hung your head and swayed slightly. Everything around you was blurry, the air felt fuzzy, and your skin pricked with terror.

“Sweetheart--”

“Don’t call me that,” you hissed, “I’m not… not that. What you’re doing--”

“Over here right now,” his tone was stern and unyielding, “don’t make me repeat myself.”

You clenched your jaw and glanced over at him. His hand was on his hip as his eyes bore into you and the vein in his forehead made you flinch. There was a tenuous wire wound tight between his good side and his bad side.

You rose and ambled over to him clumsily. Your thighs rubbed together painfully and the effort made your pelvis ache. He grabbed your shoulder and guided you down onto the couch. He threw the blanket over you and tucked in the sides, his hands crawled over it and he felt your curves through the warm layer.

“Oh…” he retracted his hand and stood straight as he poked his tongue out and watched you, “I…” 

You turned onto your side and tried to ignore him. Sleep might be your only escape from that hell.

“Are you…” he hesitated, “I came in you. Are you on… something?”

You sniffed and rolled so that your back was to him. You whimpered as your thigh hit each other and pulled the blanket to your chin. You wanted to vomit up all the food he’d just fed you.

“I need to know,” he touched your shoulder, “if you’re not--”

“I have an implant…” you mumbled.

“Implant?” he repeated.

You stared at the back of the couch. Was he really that stupid?

“They put it in your arm. It’s good for a couple years,” you shrugged, “don’t worry, you’ll only be hurting me.”

You heard him swallow. He was quiet and his footsteps trailed softly away from you.

“I’m taking care of you,” he said, “you’re lucky I am because Sam doesn’t give a shit and Bucky would sooner throw you out in the snow.”

You didn’t answer. You covered your head with the blanket and closed your eyes. You were so exhausted, so sore, so worn out that you could only think of sleep. You wanted to forget about the man behind you and the two others wandering out on the tundra. You wanted to pretend for the little time you could that everything was normal.

❄

The door woke you and sent you back into a spin. You huddled under the blanket and nestled further into the cushions as the boots clomped and a heavy dragging scratched the floor. You focused on keeping even breaths as the lock buzzed back into place.

“This was at her door,” a knock on wood followed Bucky’s voice and you could guess that your weakly crate of groceries had arrived, “it’s gonna be a while before anyone knows she’s gone.”

“Shh,” Sam hushed.

“She’s awake,” Bucky spat back, “I can hear her heart going.”

You cringed and slowly sat up. You looked over at the men as Steve helped Bucky pull the lid off the crate. Sam smiled at you and unzipped his jacket, “how are you doing, baby?”

“Fine,” you murmured and pushed yourself into the corner of the couch and folded yourself up beneath the blanket.

“Real milk,” Bucky declared as he pulled out the carton, “and bread.”

“Who brings all this?” Steve asked as Sam unlaced his boots, watching you as he impatiently undressed.

“The depot,” you answered.

“The depot? And they know you’re up here?”

“They get my money and they bring up what I order,” you grumbled, “I doubt they care as long as they’re paid.”

Steve nodded and shared a look with Bucky. Sam rounded the couch and sat beside you, he played with the edge of the blanket as you kept as far from him as you could. The other two kept sorting through the haul.

“Go back tomorrow, get the radio,” Steve said, “and we’ll have her place another order.”

Bucky looked at him quizzically then continued reading the side of a can of chili, “and why should I do that?”

“We’ll have her check in with her boss, tell them she’s safe,” Steve said, “she is, really.”

“No,” you said, “I won’t, I’ll--”

The can barely missed you and bounced off the wall. You looked behind you and eyed the dent as you pushed yourself up on the arm and the blanket fell away from you. You shook as you faced Bucky.

“You can’t trust her,” he said as he turned back to Steve, “you both know that and now you want to give her a radio--”

“Baby,” Sam grabbed your ankle and drew you back down onto the cushion. His arm snaked around you and he caressed your cheek as he held you to him, “it’s okay.” He tensed and peered over his shoulder, “do it again, jackass, and it’ll be thrown right back at you.”

A low growl followed and then the rustle of the groceries. A silence pervaded the bunker and made you shiver. Sam lifted the blanket over you again and held you tighter. He rocked you as he placed your head on his chest.

“You just gonna let her sit around on the couch all day? Lay on her back all night as we’re out there--”

“She’ll cook,” Steve asserted, “won’t you, sweetheart?”

You didn’t respond as you listened to Sam’s heartbeat and inhaled his scent. His touch made your skin crawl but his strength made you stay.

“I can take care of myself,” Bucky insisted.

“What the fuck is your problem, man?” Sam snarled.

“You know what the problem is,” Bucky retorted, “you fuckin’ know.”

“Buck,” Steve warned.

“He gave me bad intel,” Bucky’s boots hammered towards you, “just so he could have his little plaything.”

Sam slid you away from him and stood to stand chest to chest with his fellow agent. You gaped up at them as Steve came close and put his hands on their shoulders.

“Enough,” Steve warned.

“No, I could have killed her because this asshole lied, I could--”

“And you offered to kill her anyway,” Sam pushed Bucky, “so what the fuck’s the problem?”

“This is a mission, not a vacation,” Bucky sneered, “Hydra is still out there, Ursa is probably laughing at us right now--”

“It’s about the mission?” Sam challenged, “really? You didn’t care three days ago when you tried to run back Stateside.”

“Shut up,” Bucky snapped.

“You shut up, man,” they shoved each other at the same time and Steve got between them.

“Hey, both of you,” he pointed at them and looked from one to the other, “stop. Right now.”

Bucky roiled and Sam glared back at them as the other man barely kept them apart. One wrong move and it would be a full blown fight.

“You know what will happen, Steve,” Bucky’s voice cracked, “you know I can’t control it.”

“Only if you keep holding back,” Steve lowered his voice and waved off Sam, “she’s good, she’s obedient.”

“She’s scared,” Bucky said, “and that means she’s unpredictable.”

“Then help us, help us train her,” Steve said.

“No, I can’t,” Bucky shook his head, “not-- last time--”

“We’re here now, we won’t let it happen again,” Steve coaxed as Sam retreated, “but you keep doing this and it will.”

You stood slowly as Sam went to the crate and reached in. He took out a chocolate bar and smiled. You crept along the wall and a floor board gave away your movement. All three men looked over at you.

“I… need the bathroom,” you breathed.

Steve nodded and waved you on. He turned back to Bucky and grabbed his arm. He lowered his voice as the latter’s blue eyes peeked over at you. You couldn’t hear what he was saying but the way Bucky stared made you tremble. You scurried away and hid inside the bathroom.

You inhaled as your nerves bounced off each other. You listened through the door and your blood chilled.

“It’s different,” Bucky said, “if it was Ursa, she’d deserve it.”

“You won’t hurt her, that’s not you,” Steve argued, “she’s a good girl.”

“He doesn’t care,” Bucky gritted, “he doesn’t listen.”

“Bucky…” Steve sighed, “there’s no him, only you.”

“I can’t,” Bucky said, “not yet.”

❄

Two more days, you thought it was only two. They passed slowly but in a blur. Your time was marked by the little chores given to you by Steve; you cooked the meals, blending your farmer’s haul and their military dry freeze rations and you tidied up to keep yourself busy and try to evade them. It didn’t matter, your work could wait until they had their pleasure.

A routine was put in place. You ate with the men and when they left in the morning, you slept until the afternoon, then you got up and cleaned and cooked. When they returned, you ate again and after supper, Sam or Steve took you into the bedroom. By the time the others retired, you were settled under the arm of your respective tormenter.

The fourth morning was particularly chilly. Sam and Steve woke up early and whispered in the dark. That night, you’d been trapped against Steve’s hot body but despite that, Sam bent to kiss your cheek. Steve placed a folded shirt in the empty spot beside you.

“You can wear that today,” he kept his voice low as the other super soldier continued snoring, “me and Sam have to go out on the ice. We’ll be back late.”

You nodded and looked past him to Bucky’s sleeping form, a lump in the dark.

“He has his own work but it’s early still,” Steve assured you, “he doesn’t like the water but we need two men.” Steve bent and rubbed your cheek, “just keep your head down and he’ll be gone before you know it.”

You were quiet as they left. You heard them readying in the other room and the heavy front door of the bunker signalled their departure.

You laid in the dark and thought of the third man. You could still recall that ominous conversation and the fire in his eyes every time he looked at you. You quivered as you thought of how he avoided you, stalking along your peripheral like a predator. Salivating but hesitant.

You couldn’t figure out what it all meant. You only knew that it couldn’t be good. Whatever scared Bucky about himself terrified you even more. Sam and Steve even seemed reluctant to push him too far, as if afraid they would trigger something uncontrollable and that fed your fear further.

You didn’t want to be there when he woke up. You sat up and pulled on the long sleeved tee. You crossed your arms and stood, keeping your head down as you stepped between the bed. A sudden movement in the dark made you flinch and you realised the snoring had stopped. Bucky caught your wrist before you could get to the end of the bed.

You spun back to him as he sat up and clung to your arm. You stared at him through the black as his metal grip squeezed tighter. You shook and tried to pull away.

“They’re going to keep you,” he said quietly, “nothing I can do about that.”

“Please, let me--”

“I don’t want to kill you,” he continued, “I only said it because I hoped it would keep it from happening. That they might leave you there so I wouldn’t.”

“What--”

“I can’t help it,” he pulled you until your knee hit the mattress, “I try not to go that far but--” He yanked until you fell forward across his legs, “he wants you.”

“Bucky--”

“Not me,” he held your hip as his other hand rubbed your ass, “the soldat.”

He lifted his hand and struck your ass. You cried out and fought as you tried to push yourself up. He grabbed the back of your neck and wrenched you up, getting to his knees as he turned and forced you flat across the bed.

“They never let them live,” he whispered as he straddled you, “they made me kill them but if I didn’t fuck them, they couldn’t control me… him.”

“I don’t know what--”

“Maybe… maybe I can try…” his lips brushed your own as he bent over you, “I hear you with them and I want to try.”

“Bucky,” you touched his metal hand as it stretched along your throat, “please, you can let me go-- you can--”

He squeezed until your voice turned to a wisp and you rasped loudly as you tried to breathe.

“They’ll find you even if I do,” he said, “or make me find you.”

“Pl--” you coughed and grasped his fingers as your eyes watered.

He pushed off of you suddenly and you gasped for air. He grabbed your ankles and you yelped as he dragged you off the bed. Your back hit the floor and knocked the wind out of you. You sputtered as he pulled you through the door. The light of the front room shone in halos in your vision and he stopped in front of the low table before the couch.

He let you go and jabbed you with his toe, “don’t move.”

He retreated and you rolled onto your side. You sat up and glanced at the door. He opened a drawer and you stood shakily. He was going to kill you, he said so himself. You didn’t think about it long as you raced to the door and tried to twist the handle. The pin pad beeped and you tried to force it. You grunted as you heard him behind you.

The beeping grew louder and kept on. The alarm made your ears ring as he hauled you back. He forced you onto the coffee table, flat on your stomach as he tore your wrists down to the legs of the table. He wound a zip tie around each and moved back. You kicked out and he caught your ankles, bending your legs around the side of the table to bind them too.

You straddled the table, your chest heavy against the wood as he moved to disarm the alarm. His tee shirt fluttered to the floor as he tossed it in front of you. He chuckled darkly and paced around you as he toyed with the elastic of his sweats.

“This is what Hydra did, they tied the women down, had a special device for it,” he reached and tickled your spine, “but this will do.”

“Please, why--”

“They did what they could… the doctors in Wakanda. They tried to get it all out but… there’s things you can’t shake,” he slapped your ass and the whole table jolted, “those things are often what you need most.”

He spanked you again and your skin burned from his vibranium palm. You whined and let your head hang over the edge of the table.

“Please, it’s not too late, Bucky,” you begged, “you don’t want this--”

“I can’t be like them,” he interrupted, “I can’t be nice.”

“Please--”

“I’m going to break your jaw if you don’t shut up,” he smacked your ass and rounded the table again, “you can’t blame me, they wanted you.”

You gulped up air and shook your head. You heard the rustle of fabric and he kicked away his sweats. He went to the foot of the table and bent to grip it one either side of you. He sat on the wood between your legs and kneaded your thighs.

“They think you can fix me,” he rubbed your ass and slapped it with both hands, “but they don’t know.”

He gripped your hips and lifted himself. He held himself up with one hand on the table and felt along your ass as he bent his legs over yours. The table felt brittle beneath his weight. He pushed down your folds with his fingers and shoved two inside of you. He pulled in and out until your body slickened for him.

He tutted and dragged out of you and up to your ass. He spread your wetness around your tight ring and hummed.

“They haven’t touched this, have they?” he taunted and poked his finger against your hole.

You clenched your teeth as he pushed inside and you whimpered as he reached his knuckle. Even as little as that hurt and your body quaked from the intrusion. He pulled out as pressed two fingers to your ring. He forced them both inside and fingered your ass slowly as you groaned in agony.

“This will be just for me,” he rasped, “they can have your cunt.”

You pulled on your wrists until the plastic cut into your skin. His hand sped up and you tensed around his fingers. He groped your ass with his other and hummed.

“You’ll only make it worse,” he said, “not that it really matters to me.”

“You said-- you didn’t-- want-- to-- do this--” you puffed through the pain.

“I never said I didn’t want to fuck you,” he snickered.

“It hurts… Bucky--”

“I told you,” he pushed deep until his knuckles met your ass, “shut up.”

You swallowed your voice and he moved free hand up under your arm and leaned over your. He slid his fingers out of your ass and guided his tip along your tight ring. He held his breath as he pushed inside of you just a little and you exclaimed. He stretched you painfully as his metal fingers framed his dick as he eased further in.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “oh fuck,” inch by inch, the pain intensified and when he was his limit, you were sobbing.

His hand grazed your shoulder and he gripped your throat as he pressed his body flush to yours, his legs bent beside your ass. He rocked atop you as his other hand came up to meet his other. He encircled your neck and squeezed as he kept his hips moving.

He purred and his hot breath tickled your scalp. Through all the pain, you felt a plucking, deeper than anything before. You coughed as his fingers twined and he choked you harder. He sat up and pulled your head up as he kept his hands around your throat. He arched your back painfully as your arms strained against the ties.

He jerked his hips roughly. All patience was gone as he tilted into you rampantly and panted hungrily. Your eyes rolled back and your tongue lolled out as you wheezed, barely breathing as his fingers got firmer and firmer.

“This is it, doll,” he snarled, “this is how it ends… every time.”

He pounded into you and tremors of agony rolled through your body. Your eyes closed as your mouth grew arid and bitter. Your head throbbed as he sped up, flesh clapping so loudly it was all you could hear. Your body spasmed as you felt the strength leaving you, as the air drained entirely from your lungs, and sand filled your limbs.

Your head sagged over his hands and you bit your tongue without feeling it. Your body spasmed as he didn’t let up. You surrendered to the darkness as it closed it and promised to dull the torture, to end it all. Your body went limp over the table and the heat of his flesh and the roughness of the wood faded away.

You sank into the endless abyss and welcomed its embrace. It was over, all over. You were free.

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

The Overwatch au is slowly taking over my life. Help. Have Headcanons

-The Crimson base during the Tommy brainwashing arc can really put into this:

(Dream: Hey I’m getting McDonalds, what do you want?

Wilbur: I want my brothers back :(

Dream:

Dream: Right so I have like 3 dollars, I’m just going to get you chicken nuggets okay?)

-Dream at that point is just...tired. He’s tired on what’s happening. Like before he was okay with it but after accidentally bonding with everyone and actually being forced to think about what he does he just becomes tired. He still does the tasks but its just tiring

-He probably would sell the Crimson for a Cornchip if he could

-Saw an ask that has something about the going to sleep thing was made by Dream and now I see him making it and then as time goes on and as Puffy gives him morals, he just slowly regrets making it

-Punz and Purpled when they first saw each other again did not go well. Punz is just filled with emotions on seeing his brother alive again and Purpled is filled with rage on seeing his brother again. We got attempted murder in the Overwatch base which Punz probably wouldn’t stop from happening and oh boy. Puffy says therapy for both of you because Purpled, you got to have a healthy coping mechanism now and Punz, please don’t think that you’re life is just worth nothing

-Found Family time with everyone is going to include, Punz, Techno, Wilbur, Quackity, Sapnap, Jack, and more fighting on who’s the favorite brother of the Bench Trio. Purpled would have been included but he’s made it very clear that he would go and tell anyone that they’re his favorite sibling if you pay him enough. Right now the favorite sibling of Purpled is Punz

-Remember how I said that after the angst, we got Phil and Sam just trying to go and wrangle up the multiple people Tommy adopted as family members? Well in the Crimson version, we got Bad just trying to go make sure everyone doesn’t make bad choices. Wilbur don’t eat sand, Tubbo, please don’t go and hack into the database again, Dream, you can’t just go and murder your rich capitalist sibling because you feel like it, Ranboo, please stop teleporting everywhere.

-Drista and Mexican Dream are also Dream’s siblings. He would go and only playfully stab MD and he would go and protect Drista with his life. XD can fuck off

-Most people do not know that he hates XD with all his being until he went and got Punz to help him take down 75% of it

(Wilbur: Isn’t XD your brother?

Dream: Oh yeah. And I hate him. Went and just fucking left me and MD to go and care for Drista. Didn’t even help us with taking care of her! We were never close in the first place. Always focusing on going forward and never about the people behind them. Was also a bit of a self-entitled jackass. The one nice thing he did was funding me and give George a job. That’s it.)

-Recovery after the Brainwashing is rough for the Bench Trio. It really is rough. We got Tubbo and Ranboo just being in there for years so that takes a while, and we got Tommy who was pretty much subjected to a stronger version of it. It’s rough for everyone actually because its so unlike all of them

-Techno got Jack to go make Bombs/fireworks that he can shoot out of a gun for...hypothetical reasons

-Tubbo was on the receiving end of this after a particularly hectic mission

-Techno still uses them but Jack says that he’ll only make them sparingly after the said incident

-Quackity may be the good guy here but man is he still manipulative and knows the cards to play. He’s very aware of what XD is doing and they’re both just on this game of Chess and Poker where they both have to make a move to win

-Pandora’s Vault was an Overwatch stronghold that was blown up during the fall of Overwatch

-Niki may be a healer but she is also one of the most terrifying people ever. She’s scary when mad and everyone knows it

-Puffy gives group therapy to everyone I the found family because lord they need it

-Punz goes and flirts with Sam’s AI, Sam N00k. Purpled goes and calls him a robofucker and bullies him for it

-Fundy and Dream playfully flirt during battle. Just some playful flirting and everyone groans whenever this happens. Wilbur just becomes weirdly a protective dad when that happens

[mittensmorgul]

Aah season 9. I’m watching 9.22 right now (*waves at Dabb from s15*) and crylaughing about how much s9 Metatron is just desperate to be Chuck.

METATRON: Yeah, and you met with the enemy... In secret. What is that old line about sins and stones? GADREEL: He spoke. He lied. And I listened. That's it. But I serve heaven. I serve you. METATRON: Good. Don't forget it. I mean, I-I don't get this whole Cas lovefest, either. I'm offering our people a way home, and still -- still, they're choosing him over me. I mean, sure, he's cute. And Castiel has this simple...charm. He's like a mentally deficient puppy. But I'm lovable. And funny. I made God laugh -- twice! GADREEL: You're the one who asked him to lead an army. METATRON: Well, I didn't think he'd be good at it.

Metatron is trying desperately to control the story, but he doesn’t understand the characters, and has completely miscast them for his purposes, you know? He could’ve written Gadreel as his villain, and rightly or wrongly, most of the other angels would’ve bought that story. They’d bought Gadreel’s original story and locked him in prison for millennia. But that’s not the story Metatron wanted to tell. He didn’t just want to elevate himself, he needed to villainize Cas, to cast him down in the eyes of all the angels. Yet all the while, Metatron wanted to BE Cas. He was even trying on trenchcoats. He was fascinated, and obsessed, with Cas.

All the angels Metatron convinced to explode themselves for Cas were CONVINCED they’d actually been approached by Cas himself. So another of Metatron’s “writer’s tricks” was this ability to create reality out of whole cloth. we KNOW Cas wasn’t the one who convinced Tessa to explode herself for the greater good or whatever, and yet:

TESSA: People like you, they never understand. Sacrifices have to be made. DEAN: So you go after one of the bad guys, and if a few humans get microwaved, no big deal, right? TESSA: In the grand scheme, they don't matter. DEAN: Oh, Tessa, you are so wrong. TESSA: When Castiel came to me and told me what I had to do, he said I was chosen because I was strong. Others...they couldn't handle this. They're too weak.

and

DEAN: Good times. Here's the deal. I like you, Tess, okay? For an angel. But tell me, why are you doing this? TESSA: Castiel. DEAN: No, forget Cas. Why are you doing this? What would make a person want to pop their top, huh? I mean, look, I've been in bad shape. I have. But I have never been that damn low. TESSA: I guess I just can't take the screaming. DEAN: Who's screaming? TESSA: All of them. The lost souls. The ones that can't get into heaven now that it's been boarded up. I hear them. They are so confused. They're in so much pain. All I want to do is help them. It's what I do. It's my job. But I can't. So I suffered... Until death, nothingness. Suddenly, it didn't seem so bad. It seemed quiet. DEAN: So, why don't you just jam an angel blade in your throat and call it a day? TESSA: I thought about it. But I was too weak. Till Castiel gave me a reason to die. DEAN: Yeah. See, that just doesn't sound like the Cas I know. TESSA: But doesn't it, though? And the Cas you know, would he raise an army of angels without telling you? 'Cause this Cas did. I'll tell you a secret. There's more out there...Like me. So many more.

And Dean said he was doing what he had to do, so did Tessa, as she killed herself with the first blade. She’d been driven to desperation. Then Metatron goes on about the very same thing. He engineered the experiences of all the angels-- from the bombers convinced Cas himself had recruited them. It’s... eerily similar to what Chuck has engineered in 15.05. It’s like the entire “case” was engineered specifically to lure Sam and Dean, right down to the victim they swore to protect appearing to be Lilith on a mission to destroy the Equalizer gun. I mean, for all Chuck’s machinations, he could’ve written it as Dagon instead of Lilith, you know? But Chuck’s somehow still stuck in the “old days” of the story, and even his cast of side characters is reflecting that now.

GADREEL: Tessa, Constantine -- I recruited them, and you brainwashed them into blowing themselves up. METATRON: So? Well, that's an old writer's trick -- flipping the script. You start by building up a seemingly unbeatable enemy, like the death star, or a rival angel with a bigger army. That way, I look like the underdog. But then, oh, no! The competition gets greedy. He starts pushing things too much. With the help of my combustible double agents. And then, after a rousing speech, his true weakness is revealed. He's in love with humanity. And now...I'm inevitable.

Isn’t this exactly the way Chuck is “writing” for himself in s15? Metatron will eventually tell Chuck (in 11.20) that in his descent into evil villainy, he’d only been following Chuck’s own playbook, writing from Chuck’s own story. Metatron engineered every circumstance in his rise to power. While I’ve been typing, 9.23 has been playing now, and the entire scenario with the woman conveniently hit by a truck and killed right where Metatron happened to be on the scene to resurrect her ON CAMERA, his entire “miracle” broadcast out on Youtube the way he used the Heaven Microphone to broadcast his propaganda to every angel at once... Even with “God power,” Metatron still needed to engineer circumstances, and circumstances still weren’t guaranteed to play out exactly as he expected or intended. Because his plans couldn’t account for free will, just as Chuck’s can’t in s15.

Team free will is horrifically broken. Sure, they’re all on the same side, but the fractures between Sam, Dean, and Cas are severely limiting their ability to truly achieve a “win.” Dean, driven in part by the Mark but also just from his own frustration and anger and guilt (which drove him to take the mark in the first place), hasn’t had an appropriate outlet for his anger (which will be lampshaded by his eventual impotently angry speech to Metatron in 9.23 before his ultimate failure).

In s15, it’s Sam with a “mark of cosmic significance,” with an unwanted connection to Chuck the way the Mark once connected Dean to Amara. And now that we’re about to move into s10 on the tnt loop, I feel like I’ve been waiting for five years for Dabb to finally get his revenge on the 23 episode narrative failure of s10′s mytharc, this time “flipping the script,” as Metatron once called it, in favor of TFW.

At the end of Dean is on the outs with Cas because of Cosmic Nonsense interfering directly between them. Dean’s anger at Cas comes to a head, and it’s revealed that the real target of Dean’s anger is Metatron. As Cas tries to tell Hannah while he’s trapped in Heaven Jail, Metatron is the cause of all of their suffering. They only need to expose that fact and confront him. If only, for once, they could get out ahead of Chuck’s script.

DEAN: You've been working those people outside for, what, a day? They've already spilled blood in your name. You are nothing but Bernie Madoff with wings. METATRON [rising to his feet from the floor]: So I'm a fake. Do you have any idea how much pan-cake makeup and soft lighting it took to get God to work a rope line? He hated it. And, you know, humans sense that. So they prayed harder and longer and fought more wars in his name. And for what?! So they could die of malaria? Leukemia? And all the while, blaming themselves! "Oh, if only I'd been more prayerful, "God would have loved me! God would have saved me!" You know what?! God didn't even know their name! But I do. Because I've walked among them. And I can save them. DEAN: Sure, you can. So long as your mug is in every Bible and "What would Metatron do?" is on every bumper. METATRON: And? What, are you blaming me for giving them what they want, giving them a brand they can believe in? DEAN [starting to unwrap the First Blade in his hand]: I'm blaming you for Kevin! I'm blaming you for taking Cas' Grace. Hell, I'm blaming you for the Cubs not winning The World Series in the last 100 freaking years. Whatever it is... I'm blaming you.

Metatron wanted to be Chuck so bad, right down to insisting everyone call him Marv like he was just folks. Right down to using the same manipulation on Dean that he would eventually use on Cas.

METATRON: And you're powered by the bone of a jackass, and it is just awesome, right? Here's a tip -- next time, try to be powered by the word of God.

LOL. The word of God has lost a lot of its power in s15, and even Amara-- aka the source of power for that jackass bone-- has even pointed it out to him. But once again, Chuck’s favorite plot seemed to be working out anyway, through Metatron’s plagiarized story-- One brother sacrificed, check. But something went sideways. Dean and the Tablet shattered at the same moment. 

METATRON: Ah. So Gadreel bites the dust. And the Angel tablet -- arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe -- is in pieces, and for what again? Oh, that's right -- to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too.

[...]

METATRON: You know, why you could never quite pull it together, Castiel? While you're sitting here with Your Grace slowly burning away and your reputation long extinguished? No curiosity. You didn't read enough. You never learned how to tell a good story. CASTIEL [looking straight at METATRON]: But you did. [CASTIEL swings his eyes over to the desk where METATRON's all-angel microphone sits with the switch on, broadcasting his entire speech to every angel in Heaven and Earth. The doors fly open and many angels walk in and take METATRON captive. CASTIEL raises an angle blade but then doesn't use it.]

The words were the thing. And whoever truly understands the whole story holds the key.

Sorry this got so rambly (I think everyone expects that of me anyway), but this is exactly what s15 is subverting, FINALLY. And not through the proxy of Metatron the Scribe, Metatron the Editor, and Chuck’s written word, but finally placing his due with Chuck The Author himself.

[thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am]

Natasha dealing with the fact that Maria is gone post IW. And maybe a reunion at the end, when everyone is brought back cause I refuse to believe they are dead.

(Infinity War spoilers!)

[This is how I coped with that scene, I don’t know if this is what you had in mind and I’ll definitely write ten alternate version of this, but here goes this one:]

My love, forget me not

Maria Hillis dead.

The firstthing they do is search through the whole forest and the Royal palacein Wakanda, trying to regroup, trying to figure out who’s dead andwho’s alive.

They losecount halfway through.

Steve seesNatasha making call after call, hanging up and dialing anothernumber. At some point, she must find the answer she was looking for,because she stops making calls. After that, well, Natasha didn’tvanish but she might as well have because wherever she is…she sureas hell is not with them anymore.

“Sharonis okay,” she says to Steve. “They can’t get in touch with theAgents of S.H.I.E.L.D. but she followed Fury’s car GPS to a street inNew York. He’s gone. Hill’s phone was on the ground near the car.”

Stevecan’t believe so many are gone. They’re just…gone. He knows howmuch Fury meant to Natasha so he doesn’t pressure her to open up, hestands by her silently, hoping his presence, or maybe Bruce’spresence, will bring her comfort.

ButNatasha doesn’t let them in. She doesn’t show more grief than any ofthem. They’re all mourning, they all feel loss and they all feellost.

When theygo back to New York, Tony lands with his ship in the middle of thecity. He has another list of names and the other side of the samestory to offer.

He andPepper say they’ll plan a funeral for all their friends, after theyfinish counting.

Half theworld’s population is gone.

ButNatasha doesn’t open up the text conversation she had with half theworld’s population, just one person. She looks at the last few textsand thinks that those are the last words they said to each other. AndMaria’s last text just read “Okay.” and nothing else.

When shewalks into her apartment and locks the door, she catches a glimpse ofher own reflection in the mirror next to the front door. She turns tolook at the bags under her own eyes, and takes a deep breath.

She staresher own reflection in the eyes and forces the words to leave herlips.

“MariaHill,” she breaths out, “is dead.”

Natashaisn’t surprised when her voice cracks on the last word.

The nextmorning she tries again.

She wakesup, drinks coffee, gets dressed. She goes to the bathroom and she’sin the middle of brushing her teeth when she sees a woman in themirror she barely recognizes anymore. Hollow and robotic like she’sbeen brainwashed all over again. She spits the toothpaste in thesinks and looks up, nods slightly, then blinks three times and takesa breath.

“MariaHill is dead.”

She rushesthe words out to make it sound easier. It doesn’t. It isn’t.

But it’sstill true, even if she can’t say it properly. Maria Hill is dead.

They startto rebuild. To plan. It’s what they have to do, even at a time likethis. Especially at a time like this. Because life goes on, at leastfor half of the world’s population.

Tony sendsinvites for the vigil and there’s almost a dozen names on it. Natashaexpected more, but the Wakandians will be mourned by their own peopleand they didn’t really knew Steven Strange. Thor has already attendeda separate funeral for Gamora, Quill, Groot, Drax and Mantis, theynever even met half of them, but they understand that pain.

Tonyarranges for the pictures of their fallen friends to be shown,instead of lining up empty caskets filled with flags. She looks atthe picture he picked for Maria. It’s the picture in herS.H.I.E.L.D.’s file. She isn’t smiling and her eyes are dull. Natashadoesn’t really like that picture, but she figured Tony wouldn’t havemuch to pick from, so she waits until Steve, Sharon, Tony, Pepper,Bruce and James are the only people left and she fishes a picture outof the inside pocket of her jacket and tucks it in the corner of theframe, it doesn’t cover the whole picture beneath, but it surecatches the eye of anyone looking at it.

It’s apicture of Maria smiling. Her eyes are bluer and shining and thefurthest thing away from dull, she reeks life.

Steve saysa few words, toasts to Bucky and Sam, remembers Wanda and Vision withkindness. Tony toasts to Peter. And Natasha is the next in the smallline they’re in. They all expect her to say something about Fury, butshe takes a breath, raises her chin up a little, and clears hervoice.

“MariaHill,” she says, “is dead.”

It comesout like she’s rehearsed it in front of a mirror to say it just rightand she doesn’t know how to explain that she did.

“I’mhalf convinced that idiot died while we were in a fight just so shecould have the last word. I should have seen it coming, she’s alwaysbeen this stubborn, but this was a jackass move even for her. Cause Iwasn’t done, I wasn’t done arguing with her.”

There’s somuch more Natasha wants to say, but she feels like one more wordcould push her over the emotional edge she’s been on since the phonecall.

“They’reall just…gone,” Bruce says, like it still feels impossible.

Natashaturns around and leaves.

She has tobe the one cleaning out Maria’s apartment because Sharon still has ajob – it’s even busier than usual, because half the CIA’s agentsare gone. So Natasha has to be the one who goes to the building,picks up the keys from the owner, and decides what is thrown away,what goes to charity and what goes in storage.

She hasemptied two and a half drawers when she finds a small stack ofpictures and letters and articles. The articles are about theAvengers, but the pictures are personal and Natasha is in almostevery picture where Maria smiles.

She keepsthe pictures, packs everything up and sends every last box intostorage, letting it be a problem for another day, when she feelsbetter, when she’s forgiven herself. Once the spare key is returnedto the owner Natasha exits the building and turns around to meet herreflection’s eyes on the front door.

“MariaHill is dead,” she reminds herself. Keeping everything she owns instorage instead of giving it away won’t bring her back. But Natashadoes it anyway.

It’s beentwo weeks. It feels like two years. She walks to the tombstone andsits on the grass, staring at the name carved in the marble.

“MariaHill is dead.”

She keepssaying it. Maybe someday it won’t taste so wrong on the tip of hertongue.

“I’m somad at you. That stupid fight we were having, the last text you sentme, the dumb things we said the last time we spoke. It’s so messedup. I can’t believe you thought he being back would change anything,or that you were a layover to me. I can’t believe I got defensive andmad instead of just explaining to you how I felt. And now you’llnever know. You won’t know the reason I was so mad was those emptydrawers in my room waiting to be filled with your clothes, all thespace I made so it could fit your stuff when I finally asked you tomove in.”

She shakesher head and lays down the flowers she brought. A bouquet of blueforget-me-not’s.

“Yousaid you’d be the one who’d never leave me. This isn’t fair, Maria.This isn’t how it was supposed to be.”

Natashaknows Maria can’t hear her, can’t see the flowers she brings, can’targue back. It doesn’t stop her from waiting for an answer that can’tcome.

Maria Hillis dead.

Steveknocks on her door one afternoon, a couple of hours after practice.Natasha thinks maybe she left something behind and he’s bringing itback. But he’s just checking on her.

It downson him the moment he steps in. Natasha follows his gaze and waits forthe inevitable conclusion he’s about to reach.

There aretwo key bowls next to the door. There are two placemats on thekitchen counter, two coasters on the coffee table and next to each ofthem there’s a book, both with bookmarks in them so both being readat the same time.

When Stevelooks at her he looks even sadder than he’s been since Thanos.

“Icouldn’t bring myself to move anything,” Natasha says, staring atthe two umbrellas by the door, Maria forgot hers after a rainy nightshe spent over and never got a chance to take it back.

“Who…didI…did I know him?”

Natashanods and takes her coat from the back of her sofa. “Let’s go for awalk.”

They walkin silence, up until they reach the tombstone Natasha wanted to showhim.

“I bringher forget-me-not’s. Blue, like her eyes.”

He staresat the name and says nothing, he stuffs his hands in his pockets andnods. “They’re beautiful,” he agrees after a while.

“MariaHill is dead,” Natasha says, and for the first time the weight ofthat sentence seems unbearable. “We barely even got started and nowshe’s gone. She wanted me to love her for the rest of her life. Butno, no. I’m gonna love her for the rest of mine,” Natasha promises,her voice steady, not a trace of doubt in her mind.

Maria Hillis dead, half of the world is dead. But life goes on for the half whoisn’t.

When theyface Thanos again, Natasha is ruthless, unforgiving, merciless. Steveand James are holding his right arm, Tony, Rocket, Bruce and Nebulaare trying to get his glove off and Thor pushes his axe into hischest a second time.

WhenNatasha yells for them to let him go they comply reluctantly. But thesecond he’s within her reach she bring all the electricity the widowbites can conjure down on his neck and every muscle in his bodyspasms for a minute and a half. When she releases the bites, hecollapses to the ground.

Tony useshis suit to get the glove off.

Natashastares down at him and he stares back.

“Why?”Thanos whispers, and they know he’s asking why they don’t see thebeauty in his design, but Natasha wants him to know why it wasflawed.

“Because,”she says, “Maria Hill is dead.”

Theirloved ones were ripped away. That was the flaw. It wasn’t random forwho lost someone, it wasn’t just names on a list or a flipped coin.It was personal for the rest of them, who had no say in who wasspared, who couldn’t save someone on a whim like Thanos did withGamora when he murdered half the people on her planet.

Thor getshis axe off his chest and puts a foot above his shoulder.

“You didsay I should have aimed for the head,” he says. And when his axehits the target, this time it doesn’t miss.

They usethe glove, they go back to before Thanos even set foot on Thor’s shipand then they destroy the gems.

Nobodyremembers what happened but them, but they do an extensive reportabout all of it after General Ross stuffs them in a room andquestions them for three hours.

Whenthey’re released it’s under Fury’s order – technically, under theWorld Council’s, but they know who’s behind it – and he strollsthrough the door and stands in front of them like he still owns them.Hills strolls in after him, still talking to someone over the phone,but she stops dead in her tracks when she hears a chair scratch thefloor and then fall down.

Natasha isstanding and everyone’s staring, but she doesn’t care. She looks likeshe has something important to say and her chest is heaving like shehas been running and not sitting in a room going through the mostredundant interrogatory in history. So Maria terminates her call andslowly puts her phone away, still staring at Natasha, waiting forwhatever is about to come out of her mouth, for whatever could beworse than half the world population being erased and coming back.

“Youleft your umbrella at my place,” Natasha says, her eyes shining.“The green one.”

Mariadraws a breath, then looks around the room and sees Steve lookingbetween her and Natasha but she also sees Banner is there, he’s backand he’s looking at Natasha too.

Fury sayssomething that Maria misses and everyone vacates the room quickly,until there’s only Natasha standing on the other side of the room.

“I’llpick it up?” Maria asks and frowns again, unsure of why Natashaseems on the verge of tears.

“Maybesince you’re umbrella it’s already there it would be more convenientif you just moved the rest of your stuff there as well. I alreadymade room.”

“I…Imissed something. Didn’t I?” She can see it in Natasha’s eyes. “Iwas on the half that was gone, wasn’t I?”

Natasharaises on her tiptoes and kisses Maria gently but surely, melting inher arms when Maria kisses her back.

“Ibrought you blue forget-me-not’s everyday.”

“I’msorry you had to go through that.”

“It’sokay. I’m just glad I got a second chance.”

Thanos isdead, the gems are destroyed, the Universe is safe, at least for now.The world population is seven billions people again.

Maria Hillis alive.

[carrietoddrick]

I Just Feel You

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: None:)

I hated Bucky Barnes. No question about it. He was the epitome of Satan. He and I had similar… abilities. The only difference being that he has a metal arm and I don’t. We both have the Super Soldier Serum though. The Avengers found me at the HYDRA base and took me in before they could brainwash me for good. But because Bucky had experience with HYDRA, they stuck me with him to train.The only problem being that you can’t stick us together because we’re both so damn competitive t beat each other. 

“Come on, (Y/N)! I’ve already beat you 5 times today. When are you gonna start to catch up?” Bucky was grinning his stupid, jack ass grin down at me as he offered to help me up off the mat. 

“I’ll start right now.” I kicked his legs out from under him and he landed on his back with a thud. It was my turn to smile down at him and offer him a hand

“You were saying?” I grinned and he groaned in response. 

Bucky got up and walked away, shaking his head in frustration. I went to grab the towel I left by the door to wipe the sweat off my face when Bucky snatched it from me

“Can we not do this today, Bucky?” I turned to face him, steam practically coming out of my ears.

“Do what, doll?” He spoke with his old-fashioned New York accent and handed me back my towel, which was now covered in his sweat.

I threw the towel down and stormed out of the gym. I was walking down the hallway to my room when I passed Steve who had files in his hands. 

“Conference room. Five minutes.”  He said sternly

I raced down to my room to change my clothes and go to the conference room. My room was right between Wanda and Natasha’s and I couldn’t have asked for a better spot. Wanda and Nat were very welcoming to me and helped me adjust to life in the Avengers compound. 

I arrive in the conference room and the only spot open was next to Bucky. ‘Fucking great’ I thought to myself. I took my seat and prayed to whatever god that he wouldn’t get on my nerves. 

Steve started to explain how HYDRA had taken in some new “recruits” and we had to save them. I could hear Bucky sigh in annoyance behind me as this wasn’t the kind of mission he was apparently hoping for. 

“Are we clear on our mission? Wanda, you’ll be with Clint. Romanoff, you’ll stick with Sam. I’ll be with Stark and I guess Bucky you can partner with (Y/L/N).” Steve explained. My face turned white hot. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” I swear under my breath. I could feel Bucky stand up out of his chair behind me.

“I guess it’s your lucky day, doll.” He said cockily while winking at me. I got up to leave when Tony stopped me.

“You know I can’t stand that man. Why are you guys doing this to me?” I practically begged for the answer.

“Because you can cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife.” Tony replied with wide eyes and a smirk.

Well, that’s just great. 

Everyone was seated in the quinjet next to their mission partners which means I was situated between Nat and Bucky. No one was talking and I didn’t really mind as long as Bucky didn’t talk to me. 

The jet suddenly landed with thud on the HYDRA base unit and Steve got up.

“Everyone knows their assignments? Be careful out there, everyone.” He explained firmly. 

Bucky and I exited the jet and ran to the nearest entrance. There were two HYDRA guards standing by the entrance. It didn’t take long for us to notice them when Bucky accidentally knocked his metal arm alongside the wall.

“Way to go, dumbass!” I yelled at him as I started to aim my gun at the guards and shoot. Bucky was deflecting bullets off of his arm while firing with his gun and knocking out the guards. I whipped around to see more guards coming our way with all of their guns pointed at me. Shit. 

“(Y/N)!” I heard Bucky yell my name and jump in front of me, shielding me from the bullets with his metal arm. He backed us away from the guards into the base. He released his grip from around my waist and looked down at me.

“Thanks” I mumbled in his direction. He turned away and started walking down the corridor. 

“Don’t mention it” He stated with his back towards me. We were both breathing heavily from what had just happened. 

We continued down the hallway with our guns ready to fire. I kicked down door after door with no trace of the new “recruit”.

“They’re not here. They must be on the sec-” I was cut off by someone hitting my head with something metal. I was quick to get back on my feet, thanks to the serum, and pulled my gun on the attacker but he was one step ahead of me and fired straight into my shoulder.

“Shit shit. I’m down.” I yelled into my com connected to my earpiece and I could hear metal against metal. I looked up and saw Bucky fighting the attacker except they both had a metal arm. The attacker threw a punch at Bucky but he caught it. The sound produced from their arms clashing was deafening and I couldn’t bring my other arm up to protect my left ear. 

I heard footsteps and saw Cap, Iron Man and Wanda running in our direction. Wanda was by my side while Cap and Iron Man finished off my attacker and took him to the quinjet. Bucky leaned down and held my right hand.

“Are you okay? Can you hear me? Are you gonna pass out?” He asked with concern written all over his face. 

“I’m fine, dipshit. I’m not gonna pass…” That was the last thing I remember. 

I woke up in Med bay back at the compound. I took in my surroundings and saw Bucky standing in the door way talking to Steve. I cleared my throat to gain his attention and his head snapped in my direction. 

“I’ll see you later, Steve.” He took two long strides towards me and sat down.

“Hey” was all I could manage to say.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve been watching you more carefully. You know, since you can’t really handle yourself in the field yet.” There it was. That damn grin that infuriated me to the core but also made my stomach feel all the butterflies. He got up to walk away.

“Seriously, Barnes?! I thought we were having a super cute, cliche, he-waited-in-my-room-for-me-to-wake-up kind of moment and you totally just ruined it! What the hell?!” I threw my hands up in defeat.

His grin fell from his face and guilt took it’s place. He came back and sat down next to me. He took one long breath in and held it.

“It may be easier for me to be mean to you than actually acknowledge how worried I was when I saw you fall to the ground. I haven’t exactly done this since the 40′s so I’m not quite sure if this is how it still works.” He took his glove off of his metal hand and held yours in it. 

“I’m in love with you, (Y/N). I have been since the first week you moved here. You’re just like me and I’m just like you. And I know you feel the same way because if you didn’t you wouldn’t show up to training every day and constantly try to beat me. You wouldn’t have thanked me for shielding you from the bullets. And your heart rate wouldn’t be through the roof right now.” My heart monitor was practically screaming on the screen.

“I only feel you all the time.” He looked me deep in the eyes his ice blue ones piercing mine. I took a deep breath in. Here we go.

“I feel safe with you. The only reason I want to beat you is because I need to feel like there’s someone out there that is stronger than me and can have my back when I need it. Coming here was the best thing that ever happened to me… because it led me to you. I know that you could never hurt me” I finished speaking and just like that his jackass grin turned into something that set fireworks off in my brain.

He reached out to cup my cheek and pressed his lips to mine. I took in his sweet scent and kissed him back. It was a moment I never knew I wanted to have happen. He pulled back but kept his forehead pressed to mine.

“I’m so glad we found you, (Y/N).”

“I’m glad you found me too.” 

[allronix]

Give me a character meme: TRON

and I’ll break their ass down:

How I feel about this character

Oh, man. He was such a DORK in the 82 film. Such a good, sweet guy outside of a battle situation. But that’s the actor’s best charm - able to go from utter dork to badass and back again in about 5 seconds. Then you see Betrayal and Evolution, and you get this heaviness. He’s telling the truth, but Flynn is high on his own PR and busy gushing about Isos to really pay attention, and Tron gets treated with the same mild contempt as the rest of Flynn’s friends...only the poor guy pays for it more than his analog friends do. Guess the closer you are, the more you pay for it.

And Uprising? Shit. That scared me more than Rinzler. You know he’s not doing that willingly. But the lies to Beck, pushing people away, trying to kill Dyson? Yeah. dork Knight has left the building. Justified, given he’s a paladin who just realized the Gods he worshiped not only don’t give a shit, but haven’t for longer than he thought. However, seeing Tron unhinged kinda made me worried on a meta level about Alan. All that’s great about Tron and all that’s scary about the guy? That’s what’s rattling around in that meek, mild-looking guy? Note to fandom: Never piss Alan Bradley off.  

It was such an ignoble end, though. Okay, proves Alan is the better coder (and Flynn owes his ass an additional $20 on top of everything else) . Has enough of himself to hold back on Sam and Quorra. And for what? “What have you become?” (Stuff it, jackass. You had every reason to suspect Clu would pull something like this.) Then a suicidal charge that only slows that eight-bit spawn of a virus down. 

This is the title character of the franchise. What gives?

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Y’know, I write the guy as being almost single-target for Yori. The guy put his deity on hold to find her, make sure she was okay, and have a properly romantic night. That’s Rory Pond level of “born married.” (And one of the few bits in the franchise that screams “Disney” - little wonder it was chucked out come the sequels). However, I can kinda...only kinda see a Tron/Yori/Flynn setup done as a mildly pragmatic arrangement (”There’s no need for our User friend to crash from loneliness or to be without a unit while he’s here. Not when we can offer ourselves to help,” or a “If one of us dies, then go with him so someone is keeping you from self-terminate.”)  

Like a lot of the fandom, I have a suspicion Clu was taking advantage of the brainwashing. It would be more for the power than anything, a “look, I have the biggest badass in the system literally on his knees for me.” But you can’t really call that a “romantic” ship. More like “Team Bradley gets confirmation and it’s best for everyone Clu’s dead by that point.”

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Jury’s still out on if Beck is some random script from Flynn, or some de facto “son” or “nephew,” but they are terribly sweet when Tron isn’t in asshole mode. Seriously, you two. Stop resembling your Users. (well, a possible User in Beck’s case).

My unpopular opinion about this character

He has a massive case of crippling overspecialization. Rolling stats? We’re talking a, high Strength, a very high Dexterity, a crazy-high Constitution, decent Charisma, maybe some hard-earned Wisdom, but Intelligence is his dump stat. Outside of a combat situation, he’s surprisingly useless. He can fight, and he’s the BEST fighter out there. Maybe Mercury could go toe to toe with him in a straight brawl, judging from the GBA game. But that’s all he knows how to do. He’s not a good leader (he botched the power keg crowd in “Scars”, his advice to Beck to push away allies like Mara isn’t good for growing an insurrection), and everything but fighting was Yori’s department if you watch the 82 film. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Alan needed to know what a wonderful son he coded up. Lots of GREAT fanfic there, and thank goodness Alan is the Responsible Adult in the room. An additional? (Yes, I’m working on it) Team him up with Jet. Let them get on each others’ last nerves as only a couple brothers can manage only for a little grudging admiration on Tron’s part that while “Alan Two” is completely glitched, he actually is a pretty good fighter. 

[willreadforbooze]

Hello fellow boozie readers!

If you haven’t heard about #Booziebookathon, it’s our week long readathon we host every year! AND ITS RIGHT MEOW!! Check out all the details here! Shout out to Linz and Melinda for doing ALL of the planning for it. You’re the best. Be sure to follow our readathon twitter for sprints!

Sam’s Update:

I got a lot of reading done this week, which is surprising, considering how busy it was. But Booziebookathon started on Saturday, and got a bunch done. I’ve decided that I’ve failed at Medieval-a-thon…. cause I definitely didn’t read what I said I would. The NEWTs start on Thursday (our TBRs scheduled to drop on Thursday), so I gotta finish up these books so I can start my Metal Charmer career!

What Sam finished this week:

Recursion by Blake Crouch: I adored Dark Matter and Ginny and Parker both adored this one so I picked it up on audio. About half way through and loving it, I need to know how it ends.

Descendant of the Crane by Joan He: WOWOWOWOWOW. I couldn’t put this down. I flew through it, only to be SO SAD that this isn’t a series. I seriously need to know more. RUDE.

What Sam’s reading now:

Booziebookathon Gin: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid: Oh holy shit, whyyyy did I think this book was over-hyped? It is perfectly hyped. I’m listening on audio and LOVING IT.

Booziebookathon White Wine and Smirnoff Ice: Demon in the Whitelands by Nikki Z. Richard: This had a slow start, but basically this is a post-apocalyptic story where all technology is banned. The bastard son of a cleric, Samuel, is basically thrust into the role of being a caretaker to what the mayor calls a “demon”. A child, albiet violent child, with one arm and doesn’t speak. His job is to befriend it/her. I’m enjoying it now… that I’m 2/3 the way through, but I don’t feel the urge to pick it back up each time…

The Candle and the Flame by Nafiza Azad: Buddy reading with Ginny and Liz and also for book club. It’s taken an interesting turn but I don’t want to say too much here, because we still have to discuss as a group.

Ginny’s Update:

Currently Reading:

The Candle and the Flame by Nafiza Azad: This is still for a book club, I’m still reading it slowly. There was a pretty big twist and I’m enjoying seeing it ripple out.

Leap Days: Chronicles of a Midlife Move by Katherin Lanpher: this is one of my books for Boozie Bookathon and it fulfills my Gin challenge (book on tbr forever). So far Katherine has moved to New York and is talking about how weird it is… yup. It’s gonna be that kind of book.

The Mortal Word by Genevieve Cogman: IT’S THAT TIME! I’m reading the fifth book in this series that I adore. Irene is being called in to act as mediator in a conversation between the Dragons and Fae. Her boss for the job is a major dick (and I’m pretty sure it’s going to turn out he’s even more sinister). Ugh, Loving this! (If you’d like to start at the beginning, my first review is here.

Finished

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah: Welp, Trevor Noah had a very interesting childhood. It’s interesting to read this book to see a completely different perspective of growing up. I’m used to hearing mostly Americanized, or at least overtly Western points of view, so to hear this story that was completely outside of what I consider the norm was endlessly interesting. I wasn’t super fond of the jumping around in time. I found it a little confusing at times, talking about his stepdad and then, chapters later, talking about how his stepdad came into his life. Overall, I still thought this was a strong narrative and would definitely suggest this to someone who likes biographies. 4.5/5

A Kiss for Midwinter by Courtney Milan: This is a novella that goes in the Brothers Sinister series. Gonna be honest, I don’t even remember who’s parents these are supposed to be and just read it as a standalone. It’s still charming. Dr. Grantham was there when as a teenager, Lydia was told she would never be in society becuase of a teenage pregnancy. He was also there years later as she wanted nothing to do with him. He’s quirky and she’s been hiding from things she hasn’t wanted to think about and it’s pretty damn fucking cute. I really enjoy the way Courtney writes her characters, there’s always depths. 4/5

Rafe: A Buff Male Nanny by Rebekah Weatherspoon: Yup, definitely back on my romance novel kick. This book was delightful as, as the author says, it’s pretty much just pure fluff. the kids are cute, and speak the way children do. Rafe was ridiculously attractive and a family man throughout. Sloan is ridiculously competent, dealing with a shitty ex-husband and just wants someone to make her life easy… Fortunately Rafe makes it very hard… that was terrible… I don’t apologize.4/5

An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole: Welp, Alyssa Cole is one of those always gonna read authors. I accidentally skipped book 2 (don’t worry, I’ll get back to it). This follows Elle’s friend from the first book Daniel, who is dealing with some emotional and psychological scars. Janeta Sanchez is trying to become a double spy in order to save her Southern beau and her family. Except, unsurprisingly, that beau is a jackass. But they’re in the Loyal League and trying to get some information. It’s interesting to read Daniel’s perspective and I liked getting both the internal and external perspective on him. Alyssa Cole is a phenomenal writer and ugh, so many good words. 4.5/5

The Soldier’s Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian: Well, Cat Sebastian is apparently another author where I’ll read everything. This is a delightful romance between Jack, who handles scandals behind the scenes, and Oliver, an ex-soldier who is worried that her sister has been scammed by Jack. They’re immediately attracted to each other but have to solve a mystery together for… reasons? REgardless, I really enjoy the way that Cat brings characters who might be outside of what is currently considered the norm, and shows the ways they could have lived in the past. She shows their struggles but makes sure they have a happy ending, and I just really enjoy that. Both of these characters are kind of dicks in their own way, but I enjoy their moments of earnestness. 4/5

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami: I’m not a runner. I don’t ever think I’m a runner. But I think it’s fascinating to read running books and learn about what drives other people. It seems that so often running helps them quiet their minds. This book was interesting and I enjoyed a peek into an authors/runners mind. 3.5/5

Captain Marvel: Volume One by Kelly Sue Deconnick (there’s a bunch of people on this but my read list is already 7 books long and there’s just a limit to what I have the patience and energy to do): This was delightful. I’m not super familiar with Captain Marvel but I met Kelly Sue at Bookcon and really enjoyed meeting her (I’ve also read Bitch Planet, which if anyone wants to read a dystopian comic I highly suggest this one). I loved the mystery of what was causing the illness, and the way she could read between the lines. Ugh. This is what I wish more comics were. 5/5

Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes: Probs gonna write a review on this one. Wait and see.

Temporary Break for BoozieBookaThon

Iron Gold by Pierce Brown: Gonna be honest, I don’t remember much from the original series but I used a random number general and this is what came up. I’m like two pages in so I’m mostly just confused.

Minda’s Update:

What Minda is reading now for Booziebookathon (and soon NEWTs):

The Liar’s Daughter by Megan Cooley Peterson – An ARC from ALA, out 9/10, for the Beer challenge. About a girl who was brainwashed by her father and his cult.

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick – As the winner of the 1963 Hugo Award, meets the Whiskey & Champagne challenges.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells – Following the longest, I thought I’d read the shortest for the Shot & White Wine challenges.

The Incendiaries by R.O. Kwon – I’ve borrowed/returned/renewed this title eight times, which I think means it’s been on my list for awhile. This fulfills the trifecta: Vodka, Gin, and Red Wine challenges.

What Minda finished before Booziebookathon: 

Tiger Queen by Annie Sullivan – I actually finished this at the start of my trip. This was good—the world building was especially inventive since it came out of a short story with an open ending. Review to come.

All the Water in the World by Karen Raney – This book was super sad and really tugged at the heartstrings—at least for the first half. Drops in early August! Stay tuned for review.

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert – Listened to this one on audio during my flights… so many flights. But this book was super captivating! I would highly recommend reading the audiobook because of the writing style—it really feels like an old woman is telling her story to you. Also will review.

Clear My Name by Paula Daly – Crime fiction focused on a UK version of the innocence project. Edge-of-seat type stuff with an end twist I didn’t see coming. Also also will review!

Linz’s Update:

I was on family vacation–which we all know isn’t actually vacation–and still managed to get some reading done.

What Linz read:

No Judgments by Meg Cabot: One of the many Bookcon ARCs, this romcom-y book was…not great. The protagonist was pretty dumb and kind of shallow, the romance felt a little forced, and the resolution was really telegraphed.

Sophia, Princess Among Beasts by James Patterson: Woof. Basic. DNF.

We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia: Girls are raised to be sisterwives in this dystopic, Latin-inspired first of a series. The concept is actually pretty good and I loved the love story twist, but the worldbuilding left me wanting.

The Way You Make Me Feel by Maureen Goo: I liked this more than I thought I would. The protagonist is a monster, but I just spent the week with teenage relatives so it’s not inaccurate. Goo’s take on diversity is interesting and thoughtful. There is also a foodtruck and I was starving while reading.

Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay: My first finished book for booziebookathon AND MY HEART COULD NOT TAKE IT. Authentic, on point, emotional rollercoaster.

What Linz is currently reading:

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern: WHICH I AM BACKBURNER-ING BECAUSE OF BOOZIEBOOKATHON BUT I AM GOING TO CLAW MY FACE OFF UNTIL I CAN PICK IT BACK UP IT IS SO GOOD

– *About* to start Slay by Brittney Morris, but imma need a minute after finishing Patron Saints of Nothing

Until next time, we remain forever drunkenly yours,

Sam, Melinda, Linz, and Ginny

Weekly Wrap-Up: July 22-28, 2019 Hello fellow boozie readers! If you haven't heard about #Booziebookathon, it's our week long readathon we host every year!

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: There's Something About Mary (12x21)

Yeah, okay, fuck you Buckleming.

Cons:

Eileen is dead. These writers are the jackasses who killed Charlie, and they're back again for another ridiculous move. I get what they're trying to go for here. The idea is that Sam and Dean need to feel totally alone as they face down the big bad at the end of this season, so we've got to axe off some allies so they feel that desperation. It worked really well when Bobby tragically died. Doesn't work so well when you start axing off female characters for no good reason. If you wanted Eileen out of the way, just keep her in Ireland. Why the fuck would you bring her back just to kill her in the first minute? She got a cold open death and then we saw her body on a slab in the morgue. Like, are you serious? And I'm assuming Bevell was lying when she said that Jody and Claire were dead, because if they really are, then... I literally... I mean I'd literally fucking punch my computer screen.

Like, somebody explain to me how killing Eileen is a good idea in any sense of the word. People loved her. She was interesting. She was a character who could pop in and out of the story without problem, like Jody or Claire. Or like Charlie, before the frankly ridiculous death of her character. Why don't they learn? Are they incapable of using their heads?

Oh yeah, and Eileen's death, in the first fucking minute of the show, is only the beginning of the problems I have with this episode. The thing is, it makes no sense.

Apparently, Lucifer is free now. Because of reasons. One of the minions who has been trying to figure out how Crowley has trapped him, just... randomly declares "oh the polarity is being reversed" or some shit, and suddenly Lucifer has control over Crowley, not the other way around. This makes no sense. Like, less than no sense. "Reverse the polarity" is the made up crap that they say in Doctor Who AS A JOKE to explain the science mumbo jumbo. Unacceptable. Seriously. Also unacceptable is the idea that any of us would believe that Lucifer had actually managed to kill Crowley. If Crowley was an idiot for keeping Lucifer out of the Cage, then Lucifer is certainly nearly as big an idiot for believing Crowley could be taken out so easily. He clearly smoked himself into a rat vessel. C'mon. I want to believe that somehow Crowley planned this out and that he's got another trick up his sleeve, but even if he does, it's stupid. You can't do that many fake-outs and expect us to stick with it.

Also the dialogue in Buckleming episodes just sucks. Sam and Dean don't sound like themselves and it's annoying and weird. The Brits speak to each other with such comic awkwardness. Our only saving grace is that Cas isn't in this episode, so they can't screw him up too.

Oh, and another thing? As this episode ends, we get the moment where Sam and Dean realize that their mother has been brainwashed. Mr. Ketch takes Mary with him and leaves Sam, Dean, and Toni in the bunker. He informs them that he's going to lock them inside and that their oxygen will last two or three days and that then they'll die. I hate it when I'm forced into the position of trying to help out the villains but... what could possibly be the point in keeping them alive? Why didn't Ketch just shoot Sam and Dean in the head? It literally makes no sense. Two days means they have two days to find a way out and seek revenge. There is no good reason for playing the long game in this instance. And we've seen Ketch kill indiscriminately before. What's stopping him now?

Pros:

Okay, okay, okay. There were some good elements to this episode, though. But only by comparison to the crap I just discussed above. Toni Bevell is back, and I'm actually marking that as a positive aspect to the episode. She apparently brainwashes Mary, who has been going around and killing hunters. Eileen is killed by a Hell Hound that Crowley apparently loaned to the British MOL (something else that makes NO SENSE but whatever), while the other hunters have actually been felled by Mary herself. I like the fact that Toni's maliciousness from the start of the season is actually wrapping back around. We're starting to see how the British MOL operate, and how Toni could have been allowed to get away with everything for so long. She's a sycophant. She does what she does because she thinks it will get her ahead in the game, and she doesn't care who she hurts to get there. I'm actually interested to see what will happen when Sam and Dean are forced to work with her next week.

Mary being brainwashed is really interesting to me, especially with how they're framing it in terms of Mary's characterization. This isn't a simple matter of her being turned into the polar opposite of herself. As Toni says, they're basically resetting Mary to her factory settings. A good hunter, a skillful killer, without this fantasy of a perfect family life clouding the way. Toni breaks the news to Mary that after she died, John was abusive to Sam and Dean, and left them on their own for long stretches of time. This shattering of a false past was a great way to dive a bit deeper into Mary's mindset. All season, she's been in denial about needing to make a choice. She wants to hunt to rid the world of monsters so she can make Sam and Dean happy, but in doing so she's making them miserable by keeping her distance. She can't have it all, and she can't admit that to herself.

As stupid as Ketch is for locking Sam and Dean up instead of just killing them instantly, I do like the idea of a "trapped in the bunker" episode. We've had a few of those in the past, and they have all been fairly successful. Eileen's death aside, the idea of isolating Sam and Dean so they feel totally alone in the world is not a bad one. Mary is brainwashed, Cas is arguably also brainwashed, Crowley is dead inside of a rat, and things are generally just shit. I want to see them handle that together.

Actually, you know, that's something I do want to mention about this very, very uneven and messy season of Supernatural. For all of my many complaints, one good thing about it is that Sam and Dean have been a united front. They had them almost at odds over the Men of Letters, but that was resolved so quickly, and they both took the time to understand each other and make decisions together. Going forward into this finale, they're really on each other's team. There are no lingering secrets or resentments. I honestly do appreciate that, as I think that Sam and Dean can only be at odds with each other so many times before it becomes unbelievable.

Alright. That's all I'm going to say about this one. I could have ranted on about Eileen for a lot longer, but I was devolving into incoherence and I didn't want to do that. Honestly, though, fuck Buckleming. Why do they still write for this show? Ugh. Sorry for all the swearing; I usually try to avoid it in my reviews but I'm just so steamed that I can't help myself.

5/10