#sam’s been used and abused again shocker

[samwisefamgee]

Imagine thinking that investing in family would be worth the effort

[chai-penguin]

How I would’ve written Seddie, if it were up to me.

I rewatched icarly earlier this year, and as someone who used to hyperfixate on icarly at the very age of 11 I have a lot of thoughts.

Is seddie as it was presented in the show very toxic and abusive? Yes. But to this day I think there was a lot of potential with these characters as a couple, if they had just been friends who bickered instead of a literal bully and her victim.

So first off, Sam and Freddie aren’t friends, they don’t really get along, only hang out BC of Carly like in the first few episodes. Sam may tease him here and there and they bicker a lot. This relationship only gets better from the iKiss episode which I still think should happen, as it Deff was a pivotal point for them in the OG.

Sam and Freddie actually have some similar interests that could’ve helped them bond, too. This is something that can happen in the background and not necessarily be an episode itself.

Now I think iSaved Your Life should happen. Why? Because it’s a very good point of character development for Freddie. I just think it was wasted potential. Freddie could’ve broken up with Carly realizing that he’s actually over his crush and whatever he thought he wanted was not her. We can assume that this is what happened in the OG because after this episode his feelings for her are never mentioned again, but it would’ve been nice to be clearer on that, instead of leaving it as a “maybe”.

I would’ve liked to see in the OG hints of them getting closer or maybe crushing on each other in the beginning of the fourth season, and iOMG could’ve still been a shocker for Freddie because he’s just oblivious.

The OG seddie arc feels so rushed and fan-servicey, like the writers only put them together to break them up. If their relationship developed better it could’ve just been a background thing, with some episodes here and there with some drama.

Now Had it been written like this, you know, as something that progresses naturally, I wouldn’t care if they broke up or whatever. Could just break up at the very end of the series as Sam leaves for LA. (Or mentioned in the revival that she is a lesbian but I may be projecting) But the again, had they been written like this (healthier) everything would’ve made better sense instead of rushing something to please 11 year old fans.

PS: The way I’m info dumping yall w a hyperfixation I had TEN years ago… Anyways I still think icarly is excellent and tbh it holds up to this very day. It’s very sad to me, as a creative and former seddie enjoyer, to see these characters who could’ve had an amazing enemies to lovers, and we just had whatever the fuck that was…

[imagineofallkindsxxx]

Eternal Flame- Kol Mikaelson 4/?

Chapter 2- And Here I Thought We Were Getting Along.

Summary: 'You never know whats in a persons heart until you truly know them' - Belle French, Once Upon a Time

Singing. Thats all what Alexandra Gilbert has cared about since she was young and all she would care about until she met him.

With Alexandra fighting vampires, werewolves and all between she may do a thing she vowed never to do, fall in love.

And to think it all started with a walk in the woods...

WC: 2909

I came here for a good time not to get abused by a psychotic hybrid and watch one of my good friends get their necks snapped. Wasn't on my todays to do list, let me explain what happened next.

"Ah Dana, why don’t you relax? You and Chad sit tight." How gracious of you, you psycho I thought no way in hell am I being sarcastic to the scary hybrid maniac again, I quite like my head attached to my body. "I assume you’re the reason Elena's still walking around alive?" The psycho question Bonnie

"That’s right. If you want someone to blame, blame me" Bon I love you but let’s not commit suicide by placing blame on yourself. 

"Oh, there's no need for blame, love. just you and your witchy interference seems to have caused some undesirable side effects." He told her making me thank whatever god that he won't kill a friend of mine well so I thought. "And since you caused the problem, I’m going to have you find the fix." Wonderful, fan-fucking-tastic.

Before anyone was able to come back with a comment a blonde girl dressed in a pretty outfit came through the doors the opposite side of the hall with her dragging Tyler. Oh, this is getting better and better.

"Get off of me!" Ty yelled at the blonde but I have an inkling that just yelling that isn’t going to work.  

"Hush now" the blonde said to Tyler hearing her speak with the same accent as the psycho essentially holding the rest of us captive, wonderful.

"I'd like you all to meet my sister. word of warning... she can be quite mean." He said teasing his sister clearly annoying the girl.

"Don't be an ass" before throwing Ty in to the hybrids arm. I like her all things considered.  

"Leave him alone!" Elena yelled futile. I mean did she really think that was going to work.

"I'm going to make this very simple... every time I attempt to turn a werewolf into a vampire they die during transition. It’s quite horrible actually." The psycho hybrid informs us before biting into his wrist and making ty drink his blood which I can say from experience isn’t a great experience. "I need you to find a way to save my hybrids bonnie and for Tyler’s sake... you better hurry" before snapping his neck killing him.

"Jesus!" I yelled instinctively as Klaus smiles at us creepily. What is happening to this town, now not only is the sheriffs’ kid essentially dead but the mayors as well. Wonderful

Matt dropped down to the floor looking at Tyler almost in tears staring at his best friend before saying "He killed him".

"He's not dead, Klaus blood will turn him into a vampire" I informed Matt with a hand on his shoulder attempting to comfort the quarter back.

"And if Bonnie is successful, he will live through transition. Go on then. Go and fetch your grimoires and enchantments and what-not. I'll hold onto Elena and Her" he said pointing at me "for safe keeping" fantastic I’m leverage now. I should have taken up Sam’s offer to give me a ride back home. Bonnie looks apprehensive to leave so I shout

"Bon just go we'll be fine? I assume so anyway." But she seemed more focused on Elena what a shocker and when got the okay from her left. Once it was just the six of us Rebekah came up to my sister looking her up and down.

"So, this is the latest doppelganger. The original one was much prettier" I’m not going to lie that moment seemed to be the only good thing that had been said since I left the boys.

"Enough Rebekah. Take the wolf boy and her somewhere, would you?" Her brother told her like she was the dog not him.

"And here was me thinking we were getting on" I said to the hybrid in an innocent tone. I saw the blonde give a small smirk in the corner of my eye before grabbing Tyler by the t-shirt he was wearing and me roughly by the arm.

"God what is it with this family and being rough. Keep it inside the bedroom will you."

Rebekah dragged me and a now dead Tyler away from the gym hall and to the chemistry class. Mr Jones.

"NO" I shouted the top of my lungs where the vampire stopped and looked at me funnily. "You walk through that door and you'll be washing confetti out your hair until next year. trust me I rigged it myself." She gave me a confused look "Senior prank night" where she gave a nod in realization before moving into the class next door which was prank free luckily.

I saw Caroline knocked out, Rebekah throwing Tyler down beside her. I didn't have to question what happened to Caroline the angle of her neck was enough besides its bad enough having an original watching you like a hawk but an angry one... don't even want to think what the blonde would be like when angry. She sat down on one side of the class me at the other with Caroline lying next to me, my phone starts made a noise to indicate a text my main bet it is Sam to see if I’m home safe.

"what is that?" the blonde asked confused by the contraption in my hands.

"It’s an iPhone?" I questioned back where has she been the past decade "Have you never seen one before?"

"Obviously I haven't, I wouldn’t have asked if I had" she snapped back

"Okay, relax. I'm just going to text my friend that I’m fine, okay?" Trying to calm her down a bit not wanting to cause an angry original. I contemplated sending an SOS then thought I would just be putting him in danger as well, dealing with this bull shit is enough I don’t want Sam dragged into it.

"What’s a text?" Jesus she really doesn't know anything about technology. Where has Klaus been keeping her? 

"It’s like a letter only you can send it on this device. look I'll show you." I told her crawling over next to her "I'm texting my friend that I’m safe. so, I type it in to the bar here from the keyboard here" I was explaining it as best as possible for her whilst also replying to the text. Once I taught her that she must have heard vibrating because she heard Caroline’s phone. She picked it up and started to go through her phone, I'm still trying to teach her the basics of a phone. such as I just taught her how to take a selfie and it seems to keep her amused.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I never caught your name?" Rebekah asked kindly which is quite unusual for a borderline kidnapper.

"Uh, its Alexandra but call me Alex, Alexandra sounds so formal even from a millennial old vampire" giving a little laugh that she mirrored. "So, Klaus is your brother, must be ... eventful?"

She gave out a laugh "That's one word for it. Me and my brother have a complicated relationship." She told me smiling at me "I overheard your sisters with the doppelganger?" She questioned about Elena causing me to roll my eyes "Not a fan I take it."

"You could say that. Just like you and Klaus our relationship is complicated."

"If only families were easy"

I went to reply in agreement until I heard groaning coming from the direction Caroline was lying in making me snap my head quick enough to give me whiplash.

"Care" I rushed to her side "Are you okay? How's the neck?" I asked quickly making sure my friend was okay and in the right mind set for what she is about to see. From behind me I could hear the British voice I have grown used to in the past hour.

"We didn't have mobile telephones in my day. Would have made life a lot easier I suppose." Ending with taking a selfie which I smirked at. Caroline didn't have time to engage in conversation about her phone or wellbeing being more concerned about her boyfriend.

"Where's Tyler?" In a panic Rebekah answered her question calmly.

"He's dead. ish" Moving a bit to let Caroline have visual of her dead not so dead boyfriend.

"What did you do to him?" Caroline was starting to get a bit angry and I'm not sure if I want to see a fight between these two from such close proximity.

"Think of it as he's having a nap. When he wakes up, hell he a hybrid." Rebekah informed her

"Klaus turned him, Caroline. His hybrids are failing and we need Bonnie to find a spell to make sure Ty is a success and well lives." I told her giving her the run down of what is happening.

Nevertheless she races up and put her head to his chest to try and find a heart beat. While watching Caroline trying to wake Tyler hopelessly Rebekah was swiping through the photos she had taken with the help of yours truly before coming across a cute picture of Elena and Stefan

"Ugh. Vomit." She said disgusted by the picture before seeing something familiar in the picture and not just Stefan. She zoomed in to the neckless Elena wore since a few days in their relationships before getting up and turning to me shouting "Why is that doppelganger bitch wearing my necklace?!" making me jump a bit.

"Your necklace? That’s the necklace Stefan gave Elena at the beginning of their relationship. How is it your necklace?" I retorted confused on how Elena managed to get a necklace from a vampire whose been in a box for ninety years.

she stormed out of the class with me following slowly compared to her you know seeing as she’s a vampire and all. She marched into the gym hall towards my sister

"Where is it?!? Where is my necklace?" Shouting at Elena to give her necklace to the proper owner.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Rebekah’s big brother confused looking between me and his sister. Giving him the phone, she showed him the picture of the couple with Rebekah’s necklace.

"She has my necklace. Look."

"Well, well, more lies" he replies looking at Elena and Stefan.

"Where... is it?" Rebekah asks slowly and honestly her being somewhat calm is even more terrifying than her furious.

"I don't have it anymore" Elena tells the original which she finds unsatisfactory.

"Your lying!" she bellows before biting Elena’s neck which then Klaus pulls her off and takes her over to the side.

"Knock it off!" Klaus warns his little sister but she isn't backing down that easily, it was her necklace for nine centuries to be fair.

"Make her tell me where it is Nik!" she whines to her brother convincing the hybrid to talk to the doppelganger.

"Where's the necklace, sweet heart? Be honest" trying to convince her to tell them where the necklace is

"I'm telling the truth. Katherine stole it." Elena defends herself, first time for everything I suppose.

"Of course it would be that bitch." I muttered the same time as Klaus yells out dramatically,

"If we had the necklace, it would make things a whole lot easier for your witch, but since we're doing this the hard way, let's put a clock on it, shall we?" Declaring that he was putting a time on this, setting the dreadful noise of the gym clock buzzes and it’s set to twenty minutes stop clock. After this he begins to compel Stefan "Twenty minutes. If Bonnie hasn't found a solution by then, I want you to feed again. Only this time, I want you to feed on Elena. You know you want to." Oh, fantastic my sister is going to be a drained blood bag if Bon doesn’t find the right spell out of thousand within 20 minutes. Wonderful. 

"No, Klaus! don't do this to him!" My sister yells. When is she going to get it through her thick head that these are the Salvatore’s or Katherine these are thee vampires, they don’t take orders from a human even if they are a Petrova doppelganger.

"No one leaves. If she tries to run, fracture her spine".

"Oh how delightful" I muttered.

Rebekah grabs my arm albeit gentler this time taking me away with her and Klaus.

"No! Alex! Let her go please!" I hear Elena beg for my life, which although we are sisters is a nice feeling that she remembered about me.

"Oh love, don't worry your precious Alex will be quite alright with my dear sister." Klaus retorts before walking through the doors to go out to the corridor. "I'm sorry your brought into all this sweet heart." Klaus apologise not even sounding a tad sincere.

"Yeah, let’s just say next time I’m offered a ride I’ll be taking it. rather not get brought into my sisters mess again" this makes Rebekah smirk as we depart ways from her brother to head towards the class we left Caroline and Tyler in.

After a long seventeen awkward minutes with the two blondes sitting opposite sides of the rooms me in the middle being a barrier of sorts but as soon as it hit the three minute left mark Tyler woke up making me race towards the werewolf turned hybrid

"Where am I? What happened?" Tyler questioned the two of us, seeing Rebekah and looking extremely confused

"Tyler" Caroline began but Rebekah interrupted before she could say anymore

"Don't be shy about it."

"What’s going on?" Tyler still and rightly so confused I would be as well if I woke up in a class from a broken neck with three females two vampires.

"Klaus is turning you into a vampire. A hybrid. You’re in transition" Caroline starts off being kind and leaving the hard bits out.

"Don’t leave the hard bits out sweets. you-" but I cut her off

"You'll only live if Bonnie is successful but if she doesn't find a solution then... you'll die" I told him trying to block out any emotion that would rub off on to him and Caroline but not succeeding seeming stressed and upset.

"You’re going to be okay. Okay? It's going to be okay." Caroline says not only trying to convince Tyler but herself also.

"I wonder how she's doing." Showing us the time left on her clock only being two minutes "Tick Tok goes the gym clock."

I look upset and stressed I step outside in the hallway leaving the couple to have a moment but Rebekah follows "I'm sorry, Alex. I don't know what I'd do if someone tried to hurt my brothers the way you are. I'm so sorry" her apology seeming to be more sincere compared to her brothers earlier. I nodded in thanks not wanting to seem remotely weak. Tyler will live. He has to.

I breathe in and out steadying my heart rate before going back into the class where Caroline and Tyler are situated obviously upset, nervous and worried from the look on their face. But after a few minutes and most likely the death of my sister which brings tears to my eyes an unlikely hero comes to save the day and that person is Klaus Mikaelson.

"Well verdicts in. The original witch says the doppelganger should be dead." Making me deflate tears finally running down my cheeks at the thought of my sister dying. I may not have seen eye to eye with her but she was still my sister.

"Does that mean we get to kill her?" Seeming happy until she seems me and then tries to hide her excitement failing in doing so.

"No, I’m fairly certain it means the opposite." He tell his sister

"Wait Elena is alive?" I question the hybrid in which he ignores but putting two and two together I breathe in a sigh of relief that my twin sister is alive.

"What?!?" Rebekah exclaims also being partly ignored by her brother. She pulls Caroline and myself back so we don’t interrupt any process of what will happen such as Klaus feeding my friend my sisters’ blood out of a small test tube.

"Elena’s blood drink it"

"Tyler no!" Caroline yells in warning

"Caroline! He’s dead either way!" Giving her a pleading look if she can be quiet and let this psycho feed him Elena’s blood.

"At least we can agree on something sweet heart" He says talking to me making me glare at him.

After a struggle Tyler finally drinks the blood in the test tube.

"There we go good boy"

"He isn't a dog" I snarked towards the original which he returned with a glare with the same amount of malice I sent him.

"And here was me thinking we were getting along" mirrorring my words earlier.

Once Tyler had finished drinking her blood he coughs and falls to the floor from rolling about on the desk that he was lying on. He was screaming and groaning before he holds his head and screams so loud it hurts my normal human ears. his face finally changes: His eyes are golden and he has fangs along with veins under his eyes just like a vampire. I glanced at Caroline worriedly when Klaus said.

 

"Well, that's a good sign"

**************************************

 

A/N: long chapter for me anyway.

Again hope there's not too mistakes e.g. grammar, spelling, Americanisms.

if you have anything to say please don't hestitate to comment. I appreciate all positive and negative feedback

 Next chapter is really a tad of her relationship with the boys and part of the next episode.

Thanks for reading Lovelies xxx

[kitten1618x]

GoT Afterthoughts 7x02 Stormborn (Jonsa Edition) -SPOILERS

Sorry for the delay guys - it’s been a busy day, and I like to do a re-watch and write-up while I’m watching it. So .... Wow! Quite an episode and this season feels so rushed and is moving a bit fast for my liking. I apologize in advance, because I know  this is going to be loooong, and because it contains spoilers, I’m putting it under a cut. Read on Jonsa shippers -this was a GREAT ep. for us!

So, we begin with Dany in Dragonstone -can ya'll open a window, or throw down some decorative floral pillows OR something? That place is so dank and dreary despite how gorgeous it looks from the outside. Geez. No wonder Dany looks all Dark Lord Sith and shit. Which takes me to a great point I wanted to make last week but forgot -since her journey to Westeros, Dany has shed her white gowns to all black ensembles. Why? Could it be that they are trying to clue us into that fact that Dany is becoming darker? Well, duh!  Her hair also seems to have taken on a much more silvery hue (although this could just be the makeup department finally getting it right) -but I think it has more to do with Dany embracing more of her darker Targ heritage.

She doesn't feel at home here (despite it being her actual home where she was born) -she hasn't really felt at home anywhere, and this will probably be true in the continuing narrative. Why? Because just like Daario said -she's a conqueror. She's not meant to settle down and rule in one spot -Dany's most happy when she's out and about conquering shit like the Dothraki (minus all that slave and rapey shit, because she's not down with that). Dany is onto the fact that the people of Westeros aren't exactly pleased with her arrival. She brings up her brother, implying that with her Dragons and army, she could easily take the 7 kingdoms -the usual "take it whether they like it or not" approach -until one of her advisors (Tyrion) convinces her otherwise. Ya'll see the pattern here? What would have happened all these times if she didn't   have good people advising her along the way?

Varys lets her know that many of the houses already distrust Cersei, which leads Dany to creepily interrogate his loyalty. This seems odd to me because despite the fact that she's been traveling with Varys for however long it took to cross the great salt sea (I'm gonna guess at least a month) she decides that now is a great time to bring up that one time he tried to kill her and where his loyalties lie? And Varys (bless his heart) gives her the BEST answer ever!! HE'S LOYAL TO THE PEOPLE and as long as he has eyes, he'll use them (why isn't he on Jon's side????). She then threatens to burn him alive if he ever betrays her. A rather ominous choice of words, no? She could have chosen an array of ways she'd take him out (or just alluded to death, period) and yet she said BURN you alive. Nice. Kudos to Varys for holding onto his convictions -and did ya'll notice the deliberate shots to both GW and Missande's faces while Varys gave Dany this little speech about people becoming corrupt with power and abusing it, and the people are the ones who suffer for it? I wonder if the people surrounding Dany are starting to notice this darker side of her -Tyrion certainly has, as he looks visibly uncomfortable throughout this entire conversation.

GW interrupts to let them know they have a visitor. It's Melisandre who's come to align herself with yet another player. Girl changes King/Queens like underwear! I find it odd that she didn't mention that she raised Jon from the dead -wonder why she left that little detail out? Of course Dany is happy to know that she may be even more important than she already thought she was (*eyeroll*), and yet, Melisandre tells her that prophesies are tricky things -I took this as a no (just my personal opinion) although, Dany does seem to have a role in taking out the NK/WW (which I've mentioned many times already).

A few things I think were important to this scene:

Dany seemed jealous when they were talking about Jon - "he sounds like quite a man". The look on her face didn't exactly match up to what she'd said.  

Varys still has a healthy skepticism of this religion -and I'm with him. How good is a religion that burns little girls alive? It reminds me of something the Red Priestess (with as many titles as Dany) back in Meereen said about burning non-believers. Couple that with Dany's mentality that her way is absolute, and they can make a dangerous combination if her moral compass gets skewed somehow. *cough*

Tyrion mentioning what an excellent judge of character he is REALLY struck a chord with me -could he be the "love" that betrays Dany? Could he jump sides when they see she's going down a dark path?

Dany is downright COLD throughout this entire scene. Her whole mannerism has changed -tone of voice, expressions, etc.  

Now we're back to our beloved Winterfell (can we just stay here forever, please?). Jons received a raven from Tyrion -did it mention bending the knee? Jon and his TRUSTED advisers, Sansa and Davos are giving him council. He asks Sansa for her opinion. HE ASKS SANSA FOR HER OPINION. I think we can effectively bury Starkbowl and the sham it always was. It seems this invitation will be passed upon -for now.

I'm sure everyone picked up on the blatant Ned/Cat parallels in this scene -and we've all been chatting about them before the episode even aired, so I don't have much to say on this. One thing I DO want to mention is about Jon's hair. I've seen a few people say they don't like the half updo as much as the manbun. I think it always was a half updo -Kit's hair has just gotten longer, or/and they are deliberately trying to make him look more like Ned. Ser Davos brings up the Dragon fire defeating WW, and this thought popped into my head of all the (different) dragon fire sitting in casks below KL. I don't know why I thought of that, but I did.

We head to KL where Cersei is trying to rally the remaining houses behind her by shit talking Dany. She's not exactly lying, but she sure is fucking hypocritical, huh? Jamie's trying to sway Tarly to his side, and I think those who mentioned the Tarly's meeting their demise by Dany's hand were probably right.

From KL we jump to the Citadel where we see that Jorah's greyscale has spread up his entire arm and halfway across his chest and back, and they plan to ship him off to Valaryia with the Stone people. Sam remembers Stannis's daughter and wants to help, but is shut down. Jorah reveals himself to be a Mormont.

And we jump back to KL, and Cersei is strolling about the basement with Qyburn who reveals a giant crossbow crafted to take down Dany's Dragons. Shooting us back to Dany and her War Council aka: everyone who hates Cersei, and they want to take KL by force, but Dany using Tyrion's words from the previous night declares she doesn't want to be the Queen of Ashes, and they go over their battle plan. The fact that it's (queen of ashes) brought up TWICE in the episode gives me pause. Foreshadowing maybe? I dunno, but I also find it odd that within the same scene and in private conversation, Lady Olenna is telling Dany she is a dragon and she should be a dragon. Lady Olenna has nothing to lose anymore -she's in the game strictly for revenge against Cersei.

Missande and GW finally admit their feelings for one another and in a beautiful declaration of their newfound love, they make love -Jon Snow style (yesssssss). This was an extremely moving scene and really, Jacob's acting was so RAW and moving. I'm so scared for these precious babies because I don't think they will see each other again after this. My guess is that GW is going to die when the Unsullied take Casterly Rock.

We jump back to the Citadel where Sam is trying to persuade the Archmaestor to try and cure Jorah's greyscale, and when he gets shut down again, he takes matters into his own hands -with yet another extremely disgusting Sam at the Citadel scene.   But yay for doing you, Sam! Hopefully he's successful in this venture -without acquiring greyscale himself. And poor, poor Jorah who has to sit through a layer of skin being removed with nothing but some rum and a belt to bite down on. It's looking to be a long night for the two of them.

We flash from a puss covered piece of greyscale to a gooey pot pie some dude is shoving his face with, in a Westeros tavern, and there sits MY BABY GIRL, Arya who reunites with Hot-motherfucking-Pie, ya'll!!! God, it's so nice to see Arya reunite with a friendly face for once! He gives her the scoop on the north -including the fact that her brother is now KitN and the look on her face nearly brings me to tears! When I watched this last night with my husband, I swear I screamed at the screen: GO HOME ARYA!! Of course, I knew that in typical Stark fashion that by the time she gets there, Jon would have already headed south. The only thing that can make up for that is a touching sister reunion between Arya and Sansa, and D&D better not disappoint!  

Arya stuffs her face and says goodbye to her old friend -who makes a crack about how pretty she is, and my shipper heart screamed Gendry! Arya's definitely old enough for a romance now, but even if that's not in the cards, I just need to see those two reunite. Please. Maybe Gendry can sit on the IT (as Roberts heir) with Queen Arya by his side -uniting the north and south with Sansa and Jon ruling Winterfell --hey, a girl can dream right? Or write fanfiction. Anyway -Arya is going home!!!!

Speaking of home, we head back to Winterfell where King Jon is addressing the northern lords again after receiving the raven from Sam, telling him about the dragon glass under Dragonstone. He also reveals the message from Tyrion, then in a very dramatic fashion, turns to address Sansa directly -as if she's the only one in the room (that matters), and says that he's decided to accept the invitation.

Shocker: no one is happy about this. It wasn't what I would consider a revolt, but I'm worried for Jon. His hold on North will likely shatter once his parentage is revealed -especially if he bends the knee to Dany --which he better fucking NOT! The northerners try to dissuade him from leaving. Sansa reminds him about that one time where his one grandfather bbq'ed the other, way back in the day. She thinks it's a trap. She accuses him of abandoning their home and his people (ahem, HER). Cue a moving speech from Jon about his loyalty to the North. Jon is CLEARLY only doing this for the dragon glass, and possibly some allies for the coming WW army -this is all he's worried about because Jon wants to keep everyone safe. And you know what? I believe him. His "Ned Stark" honor and loyalty are everything to him -he won't betray the north.

And then one of the most important moments for these two -whether you ship them or not: he leaves Sansa in charge to rule as regent in his absence. Do you all know how fucking important this is??? He just validated the shit out of her! This speaks volumes about the love and trust he has for her. She's not a "stupid girl", she's clever and strong and the only person he would trust to hold down the fort while he's gone. That's huge guys! Huge!!! And the look on her face  -damn guys, just damn. It's all "wait, what?" ...how good it must feel to know someone places their utmost trust in you. "Would that be so terrible?" -ummm, apparently not.

Now before I move on to my favorite scene of this entire episode, a few things I want to point out that I think were relevant here.

The look that passes between Sansa and LF after Sansa receives the news she’s the future (upon Jon’s departure) QitN (and I got an ask about this, so I specifically want to address this): LF has that smug satisfied smirk, because this is exactly what he's wanted -Jon to leave so he can weasel in closer to Sansa, and what's better? Jon's just placed all the power in her hands -of course he's already scheming ways to drive a wedge between them and manipulate Sansa into doing what he wants. But you see, Sansa is already on to him you guys. Hasn't that been pretty obvious? If there's any truth to a Starkbowl, I'd say it's a farce so Sansa can take down LF once and for all. And the look she gave to LF seemed one of worry to me, tbh. As if she already knew his beady eyes were on her.  

"Yours. You are my sister and the only Stark in the north." - I'm going  to address this in a minute, just wanted to draw your attention to it here.  

Now, my favorite scene of the night (and possibly the entire fucking series, because Kit Harington is dead sexy when he's in beast mode)! Jon’s down in the Stark crypts, paying homage to his "father" before he rides away from Winterfell, and in slinks Dick Dastardly (shouldn't he be off trying to kidnap Penelope Pittstop?) Sorry guys, I'm a 90's chick -old reference -Google Wacky Races if you're curious. **  What I took away from this scene: LF was feeling Jon out (it's what he does), deliberately poking the bear to see what triggered him so he could use it against him later. He tried everything -bagging on Jon's bastard status, Catelyn's resentment of him, the fact that the BotB was literally lost without his aid, etc. I'm pretty sure Jon was on to the fact that he was purposely trying to goad his anger, and was clearly very dismissive of him, as he walked away.

Now, here's where it gets tricky ... when LF mentioned Sansa, I don't think he expected Jon to react the way he did. Like, I think he expected anger -sure, but not full-on murderous rage! And that's exactly what he got! Jon fucking snarled ffs! He was visibly shaking and seething with anger, and he choked out LF for a good 60 seconds or more, trembling in rage before he spoke his very menacing threat.

"Touch my sister, and I'll kill you myself."

Interesting choice of words. Touch. 

Not hurt or harm, not "if you go near", but touch. Very interesting, indeed.

"I love Sansa"

*Jon twitches his head (shaking it off, keep cool man, you know what he's doing -he's just trying to push your buttons).

"I love her as I loved her mother"

*Jon snarls and whirls around in a rage he cannot contain.

Now, as I mentioned above -the whole "sister" reference. This was very deliberate on the writers part in both scenes, but not for the reason that a lot of you are now frantically worrying for our ship. Was Jon acting the part of big brother protecting his sister? Of course. But is that all? Umm no, I don't think so. Not when you couple that with the fact that the only two times we've seen Jon lose complete control of his emotions -it was attached to Sansa Stark.

It seems very telling to me that they'd want Jon to reference Sansa as his sister in this episode -but why? Well, because methinks Jon doth protest too much, to put it as simply as possible. I mean, come on -they're brother and sister, and Jon can't be acting like a murderous jealous lover -yet. Or, can he? Sure -if they blur the lines just enough.

Put it this way: they are toying with us. They planted this Jonsa seed last season -clearly, as even non-shippers noticed it, and now it's time to pull back a little bit because Jonsa is never going to happen in season 7 while both of them still believe to be siblings (and how convenient that Bran is probably on his way to Winterfell and now Jon is gone). Plus, as much as the majority of you don't want to hear or accept it, Jon is probably gonna put the wood to Dany. It fucking sucks. It does, I know. But it's the big fan-service they've been building on for years -the ‘fake’ song of ice (Jon) and fire (Dany). But, I've said it before, and I'll continue to repeat it until I'm blue in the face: please consider the context of their coupling, and not the act in itself.

Okay, back to the episode: Jon struts out of the crypts like a boss, and mounts his horse. He glances up at Sansa who's waiting to watch him depart Winterfell, and they exchange this sad little wave. I'm sure most of you have already drawn the same conclusion: this was the Jamie/Brienne parallel - two people who care deeply for each other, but conflicts of interest are keeping them apart. (Ahem, siblings!!!!!!)

Now, I know that so many of you were hoping for a tearful goodbye, but they just aren't going to do that. Why? Because they want to hurt us. Why? Because it's all about those romance tropes. Pulling the couple apart and then throwing them back together. If they give us a terribly unsatisfying goodbye, it only serves to make the reunion all the more sweeter. I write you guys -I'm a writer. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, I'm simply sharing with you the very same tactics I use to hurt my readers. It's angst 101 in a slow burn romance.

So again, I implore you all to take a collective chill, find your zen and patiently bide your time for season 8-that's our season, ya'll!!

Okay, back to the show! Now we are back with Arya who's set up camp for the night, and she comes face to face with Nymeria! She pleads with her to return to Winterfell with her, but Nymeria turns away, taking her pack with her. Arya looks heartbroken (and breaks my heart in the process) -muttering, "that's not you", in reference to Ned saying that to her once in regards to forcing her to be something she's not. Nymeria isn't domesticated anymore. She's wild and free. So bittersweet. Go home Arya, I'm so ready for a Stark reunion!

We end the episode on Yara's boat, with some Iron-Sand sex about to take place, when the Dread Pirate Euron literally drops in on them. Yara puts up a heroic fight, but two of the Sand snakes are killed, while the other two are taken hostage -my guess is to be presented as a "gift" to Cersei for murdering Marsella. Heartbreakingly, Theon has a serious bout of PTSD and jumps overboard instead of fighting Euron to save Yara. I hope Yara survives so she can tell Theon she understands why he did that -it's clear she loves her little brother very much.

And there we have it. Is it Sunday yet?

Remember Jonsa shippers: collective chill and find your zen. Season 8 is ours and Jonsa is endgame.  My inbox is open if you need me.

[spnreactionblogging]

our father, who aren't in heaven

SPOILERS BELOW BUT I'M REALLY LATE TO THE PARTY THIS TIME

[I actually watched this like a month ago but didn’t remember to post it, oops]

I got so backed up with real life shit that I'm delayed watching this but I stayed off tumblr and twitter almost entirely for the last few weeks to avoid spoilers but god DAMN it it's a fucking buckleming episode

why do they keep being put in charge of the return of characters who we're all very invested in? you ruin kevin tran, you are likely to ruin adam, god fucking damn it.

at least RSJ is directing

you can tell they always think their episode titles are really goddamn clever too and it pisses me off

is john winchester not in heaven anymore? I thought that was a big fucking todo, that he and mary are up there and they don't want to ruin it for them. or are you referring to chuck? or both? who cares.

poor adam.

chuck what fun is it if you just automatically win every time, huh? what's the point?

I do love rob benedict though. I don't like being frustrated with his character.

buckleming's gotta get in as many "terrified women in exploitative situations" as they can before the end huh

I like eileen a lot and I probably ought to get around to watching her actual original episodes at some point

"guest starring jake abel" has got me choked up

HEY TOO BAD THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN READ THE TABLET IS FUCKING DEAD HUH, HOPE YOU KEPT ALL THOSE NOTES OF HIS THAT YOU OCCASIONALLY DRAG OUT AND DECLARE WORTHLESS

poor kevin, god fucking damn it all

SAM: so he has an achilles heel DEAN: well i'm saying he has a weak spot

YEAH BECAUSE DEAN IS STUPID RIGHT? THANKS BUCKLEMING

I hope misha's hip is okay

I do like donatello, I hope nothing awful happens to him :(

sorry though guys the only prophet i acknowledge is kevin tran

okay so obviously as we've known since day one they're gonna team up with the darkness to subdue chuck but things will probably work out in the end to maintain universal harmony or some shit so whatever

sam really does have queer flannel, i like that black and white and red all over shirt

I hate buckleming episodes for so many reasons but not least of all because everyone behaves like a petulant kindergartener

is sam just reading the bible? it's got that golf leaf edge

okay seriously though don't they already have kevin's notes? why is donatello translating this fresh? kevin did all this work and fucking died for it. at least honor his legacy. jesus fuck.

really though, 14.08 establishes this:

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/14.08_Byzantium_(transcript)

[Dean awakes where he passed out on the kitchen table, and hears voices in the other room. He gets up and follows the voices to the library] SAM: Man, haven't seen this stuff in years. WOMAN: And what language is this technically in? CAS: We're not sure, but it's-- it's written in cuneiform. Kevin was very thorough. SAM: Yeah. We kept it all-- the translations, his notes on his translations, annotations. You name it. [...] SAM: That's not-- Dean, listen, last night, after about whiskey number five, it hit me. I mean, we've torn through all the lore looking for a way to cure Jack, right? But we've never looked through Kevin's angel tablet translations. DEAN: Yeah, 'cause they're worthless. I mean, Kevin translated them into-- to crazy scribble only a prophet can read. And last I checked, we can't exactly ask Donatello. LILY: Maybe I can read them.

did he not take demon tablet notes? he sure seemed to have a bunch of those in seasons 8 and 9! also why do demons not care about this anymore

"if my dad kept me locked in a cage for ten years" oh yeah? if one month on earth is ten years in hell, then adam's been in the cage with michael for 120 earth months = 1,200 years in hell. OVER A MILLENNIUM IN HELL.

buckleming so completely fail to hold my attention even during the episode that ostensibly the whole fandom's been waiting for for a decade, that writing the word "millennium" got me sidetracked into watching some backstreet boys music videos and an nsync one to boot. what do you even have to say for yourselves, buckleming.

okay I got way distracted about the 8tracks closure

so I can't help but notice that STILL they have nothing to say about adam, they just need michael. like.

wow.

cas is the one to bring it up! I fucking love you castiel

keith szarabajka does a good rob benedict

buckleming writing this: chuck should immediately threaten all the women in their lives

oh so NOW dean doesn't want cas going to hell. cute. after forcing him to do so alongside belphegor. fuck you, dean.

i love sam and eileen doing witchy shit and cas watching

oh rowena's back.

i guess we should've known if she died she'd just like. go to hell.

"so fix it!" says rowena, by way of buckleming, dismissing everything castiel has every right to be angry about, as if this should just be shrugged off. easy for her to say when she's the one who fucked things over for crowley. not cool with sam being out of the room for that either? sam is very much involved with these proceedings.

I'm here for adam's food appreciation

I don't remember what happened to adam's mom? was it with the ghouls?

family does suck, adam.

I don't want to hear dean's commentary about sam's relationships or whether eileen is hot or anything like that, ever. butt out.

I do like the actress playing lilith

I need bourbon too, donnie. fortunately i had some prepared before i clicked play on this episode

I loooove these shots of castiel with the chessboard and the railing/bannister/whatever

I get that cas is being "BAMF" again I GUESS or whatever but I'm irritated with him stooping to this level of like... what dean pressured sam into with jack in S14, with using this intense sincerity to trick people. not a fan. and SHOCKER, "jack in the box" was written by buckleming too so there you go. there's this episode of bob's burgers where linda's running a murder mystery dinner and is like "ha! I was the murderer all along even though I said I wasn't!" you didn't connect shit, you're just lying

I will give buckleming exactly one point, even though it's 99% jensen's delivery, but calling him "mike" so derisively is hilarious

why don't they just tell him his AU self had the same goal last season

they definitely don't let them actually apologize! gee! all this time and they don't actually apologize. fuck off.

you could've written ANYTHING. anything at all, buckleming.

adam knows all about not knowing the secrets your dad is keeping

I'm glad adam doesn't forgive them.

"they believe it's true so it's probably true" is bad reasoning here

I feel like sue is probably fucked? or else this is a trap.

michael's the golden child and doesn't realize he's being abused by god just like the rest. at least he doesn't in this version

who said he had an entire tree up his ass, balthazar? zachariah? dean? bobby?

I think cas was right to show him the truth, just the events as they occurred

ugh i'm so nervous and uncomfortable for cas that there's no one here to intermediate if dean goes after him

literally after I type this I unpause and cas asks "where's sam?"

yeah i knew it was a trap. and here chuck's going to hurt eileen because he can.

I'm glad dean apologized on behalf of both of them I guess? but also not cool with sam not being here to talk to adam himself.

I'm glad michael found out about AU michael

stoked about purgatory honestly. bring back benny. BRING BACK GORDON. bring back dick roman.

cas looks so tired. what a note to end on.

I am also tired.

[i4z-0892-il]

Eggshells 5

Author: Jena @i4z-0892-il

Summary: AU Serial Killers Sam and Dean Winchester find themselves in a bind when the Reader gets caught in the cross-hairs of their plans.

Pairing: Sam x Reader, Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,303

Warnings: dark!fic, NSFW, 18+, Very graphic descriptions of violence, mature themes, death, mentions of death, torture abuse, language, assault

A/N: This has been one of my favorite fics to work on and I’m pretty proud to share it with you guys, so if you felt something please let me know. I literally survive off of your feedback.

Inspired by my girl @alphvjensen’s incredible story Sex and Violence

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11

If you like my work consider buying me a Coffee, or leave me some Feedback!

Tag List

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The rest of the night dragged on sleeplessly, and wordlessly. Sam made good on his word to Dean and watched over you, his mind racing with fitting together pieces to an unsolvable puzzle. It wasn’t before long that the sun began to break over the horizon pouring soft streams of cream light through the busted cellar door.

“What will you tell them happened to me?” You asked knowing that Sam had to go to work soon, and knowing that you hadn’t missed a day of work since the flu outbreak last Winter. Sam lowered his eyes to the floor not wanting to lie, but not wanting to face you and the truth either.

“You turned over your resignation last night and booked a one way ticket to Rome.” He answered. You sat stone in silence attempting to compute what he’d just said to you.

“W-wha-how?” You asked incredulously, knowing the answer and fearing the confirmation.

“I broke into your apartment last night, emailed from your computer. People will think you’ve had some kind of nervous breakdown. They’ll speculate for a while, and then they’ll think you fell in love with the country- or someone, and you’ll disappear into memory.” He explained, breaking your heart with every syllable. You shook your head hopelessness welling wet in your eyes.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He said unable to think of another thing to tell you the might alleviate the sting. No one would be looking for you, not for a while at least and by then it’d be far too late.  You hung your head in defeat. Skip the country, disappear somewhere in Europe, somewhere beautiful; you’d talked about doing exactly that enough that It wouldn’t be a shocker if you just did it. Any plans to wait it out were completely dashed with the hope that someone would be missing you. If you were going to survive you’d have to play smart and get out fast. He left without saying another word, leaving you with the empty company of your tomb, and the fear the edged in every shadow. You’d never felt so small.

He drove to his flat in silence simply going through the motions of his morning routine finding himself at a loss for what to do. Sam stood in the shower watching red streak the white of the porcelain floor. Usually he could wash away his sins, or at least store them somewhere deep under lock and key, but today he couldn’t shake it. No one else was ever involved, and he didn’t trust Dean to keep you alive without him there. He stood for a moment wallowing in his own self loathing bemoaning that it simply had to be this way when the truth was that he just didn’t want to disappoint his brother. His entire life he’d looked up to Dean, he only wanted what was best for him even if it meant Sam had to sacrifice his own happiness- he owed it to him if nothing else.  As he watched you in your own worthy despair it was nearly impossible not to re-evaluate where he stood. Was the life of a murderer worth the life of an innocent? How far was too far?

It didn’t matter in the end, no manner of prayer or wishing or hoping would change what had already come to pass. He didn’t think he could run away from Dean, he didn’t think he could let him kill you.

The worst part of the entire situation was the feeling in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t paranoia, or fear. It wasn’t anxiety or regret. No, far worse, and far, far more dangerous- it was pride. He’d worked on countless cases of homicide studying the flaws in their plans and what ultimately got them caught. He knew the in’s and out’s and just how to get away with it. No matter the mess the Dean provided him with he always came up with a solution, and was always careful. One single slip up could mean the electric chair for both of them. Thank god for them both he was smart enough not to let them get caught. A chill ran down his spine turning his veins to ice the satisfaction he got from playing clean-up crew disgusted him, but he knew in his core he was just as broken and fucked up as Dean was only difference was that Sam liked to pretend he wasn’t.

You had no idea how long you’d been asleep, or even when it happened, it was dreamless, restless and no more serene than the horror you awoke to. A loud thudding and crashing followed by a strangled moan snapped you back to consciousness. Dean’s booted hit heavy on the creaky floorboards below him as he towered over a man cowering on the floor.

“Good morning Y/n, I thought you and I got off on the wrong foot yesterday so I’ve brought you a gift to keep us on the same page.” Dean said enthusiastically, with a swift kick straight to the stomach the man on the floor flipped to his back with a pained groan. Your whole body tensed knowing one single fact: whatever this was did not bode well for you.  “Not a morning person? Me either, can’t do a damn thing until after I have my coffee.” He said too calm, and too cheerful. He leaned forward taking the man by the hair and dragging him to the post you’d been tied to previously, securing him far tighter than necessary but unwilling to make the same mistake twice. Then he walked over to you in your chair he knelt in front of you unlocking one of your cuffs and examining the bandaging around your wrist.

“That needs changing.” He said, yanking the first aid kit up from Sam’s chair and setting to work.

“What are you doing?” You asked, fearful of his answer.

“I’m changing your bandages, what does it look like?”

“I mean with him.” You said unamused and looking through him to the dark haired man not even 20 feet away from you.

“Oh him? It’s a surprise. And trust me it’s a good one.” He said a grin splaying on his full lips. His fingers worked deftly making quick work of the gauze padding your sore and angry wrists. When he finished he took you gently by the hands prompting you to stand, he moved you squarely in front of the man on the floor.  “Stay right here- no peeking.” He said impishly before moving away from you for only the briefest of moments. When he returned he dropped his ax in your hands, a pistol sat firmly in his. “Kill him.” He instructed.

You whole body ran icy cold as your eyes widened in shock. “What?! No!” You said dropping the ax to the floor, the man on the ground searching between the two of you with a look you knew all too well. Dean shrugged and nodded his head before aiming the barrel of his gun directly at your temple.

“I thought you might say that. I also thought you might need some incentive to get you through.  Kill him, or I bury a bullet in that pretty little head.” He said, the humor in his voice washing away to a tone so sinister it raised the hair on the back of your neck, and you didn’t doubt for a single moment that he’d pull the trigger. You’d gotten lucky last night but you couldn’t count on your luck to hold out, not with a gun at your head to say the least.

The fear and adrenaline spiked, your body surged with electricity and pulsed terror through your veins. You cautiously stooped to retrieve the ax from the floor your eyes never leaving the man’s face.

“Please- Miss- you don’t have to do this!” He begged you, crystal blue eyes finding you and piercing your soul. “Jimmy! My name is Jimmy! I have a daughter- Claire, and m-my wife Amelia!” He stammered, tears streamed down your face. You didn’t want to die, you hadn’t done enough, and you hadn’t lived enough. There were still so many things you had left to do. You still had so much left unaccomplished, you were going to write a best seller, and visit the Easter Island heads. You were going to swim with sharks, and eat exotic food, and have a few great love stories. Your life was so far from complete that it hadn’t even started. You wanted to see your sister get married and have kids, you still had family dinners to go to. You had friends who needed emergency drinks at a bar. You still had so much heartbreak, and joy left undeveloped in your life that choosing whether or not to end it right then and there for the sake of someone you’d never seen before in your life just didn’t make sense.

“You have 20 seconds Princess, oh and don’t even think about taking a swing at me- you’ll be dead before you hit the ground, and then you’ll both be dead. At least this way one of you walks away.” Dean interjected clicking the hammer of the pistol backwards.

You swallowed hard a lump catching in your throat making it impossible to breathe. You couldn’t take a life, could you? To save your own? He wasn’t even giving you enough time tow rap your mind around what was happening.

“No please…” You whimpered, clutching the wooden handle of the ax so tightly your knuckles tightened white.  Panic set in as Jimmy’s cries echoed in the small space. You stared at him like he was a wounded animal, he’d done nothing to you, you couldn’t take his life.

“15.”

“Please, I can’t.” You whispered, your voice cracking as everything rushed around you making you dizzy, your body paralyzed frozen solid in a feeling you didn’t even have words to express. Every muscle in your body tightened as he continued to count backwards. Dread, fear, terror, anxiety, confusion, every emotion sped coursed through you at the speed of light.

“10.”

“Please! I won’t tell anyone! Just let me go home! Let me see my daughter again!” Jimmy screamed in the commotion of your mind.

“I can’t!” You croaked, the ticking of the clock was running out and you just needed him to shut up so you could think. “I can’t do it, I’m not like you! I can’t.” You pleaded but you cries fell on deaf ears.

“9.”

“Please!” He shouted casting his prayers upward to a God who wouldn’t listen.  “Please don’t do this!”

“I can’t!” You shouted as tears fell from your eyes. “Just let me think!” You begged him but he wouldn’t quit begging, clouding your mind with his voice. You couldn’t see straight, he wouldn’t let you see straight. You just needed to figure out what to do. Your entire body trembled under the intense pressure.

“8.”

“No!” Jimmy screamed. “Help! Help me! Someone please help me!” He shouted, but you knew better than anyone it would be in vain. The sound of his screams shattered each and every thought you tried to form.

“7.”

“Shut up! Just let me think!” You screamed, but Jimmy wouldn’t stop, he couldn’t his pleas spilled out of his mouth like a fountain interrupting everything. The knot in your chest just grew thicker and bigger and tighter with each number counted down you were running out of time.

“6.”

You couldn’t escape. Jimmy began to sob almost uncontrollably, shouting his goodbyes to heaven.

“5.”

You wouldn’t win against a gun. He pleaded for God and his angels to look over his family.

“4.”

“Dean please!” You shouted over the howling, but he kept with his count down, his voice booming and echoing all around the small space.

“3.”

You were going to die if you didn’t decide. Your fingers wrapped around the wood of the ax, your body moving against your own will. Jimmy cried out for mercy. This was it. Time was up, you had to make a choice, you both died, or you lived to fight another day.

“2.”

A scream ripped through your throat as every emotion, every fiber in your body exploded all at once.

“1.”

The ax imbedded itself deep into the collar of Jimmy who locked eyes with you as all life was forced from his body with the river of crimson that spurt from the gaping wound at his throat. A gurgling cough, and panic set in subsiding only when his eyes rolled backwards into his skull. You backed away your fingers lingering in the air as the gravity set in on you.

Your stomach churned as you collapsed to your knees vomiting on the floor, the sight of his blood on your hands kicking you into overdrive, your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath.  Dean knelt beside you, taking your face in his hands. His thumb dragged tenderly over your cheek, as he caught your eyes. He had a soft smile on his face as his fingers ran lovingly through your hair.

“Hey, shh…” He hushed, his voice bringing you slowly back to Earth. “Shh, it’s alright. You can’t leave now. You’re one of us.” He said as he wrapped his arms around you holding you tightly to his shoulder like a child. “Now you know what it feels like.”

He pulled away from you with such care it was as if he were afraid you’d shatter into a million pieces if he moved too quickly. He took your chin in his fingers bringing you to meet his gaze one more time.

“Next time you try to escape I won’t be nice enough give you a chance to be forgiven.” He said coldly.

Tags: @roseangel013bf, @sanityoverrated27, @nibeca, @deanlenaotp, @deanandsamsbitch, @classyjellyfishpoetry, @sarahbearccxc, @smiling-meerkat, @goldenangelbloodcastiel, @pearlparty, @aquabrie, @lindsaylove1226, @notnaturalanahi, @mogaruke, @deansbitch1967, @ladylustitia, @supernatastic101art

[ellebeebee]

No Pain

Jaal visits with Forta while he recovers from the coma.  Character study sort of, since I’m trying out Forta’s POV.

1929 words, Male Ryder|Scott Ryder/Jaal, teen rating

AO3

-

No pain, no gain.

That’s the motto of every gym rat ever, the phrase so worn and abused and sucked of all its bite that it rolls off the tongue with a stink of sarcasm, an air of snide irony. It’s the truth, everyone knows it, but it has so much of the truth it seems like ‘the sky is blue’ or ‘water is wet.’ Shocker, stop the presses.

You wanna drop the irony? Get into the science of it. ATP, glycolysis, hypertrophy, anabolism. All of the stuff that Forta only passingly gets; he had left that to all his trainers. He didn’t need all the latin pre- and suffixes in the world to understand the feeling of that burning deep beneath his skin, pervading the inner depths of his flesh the day after a really good workout. You destroy the older, weaker muscle to build it anew. Burn away the hesitations, the inadequacies, and the laziness to forge yourself bigger and better.

Every session you push yourself further than the last, you hurt more than you’ve ever hurt before, and your body accepts it all, takes in the fire to build itself anew.

And you’ve gotta push yourself, like really push yourself. Up the weights or the reps a little each time. Failure. That’s what you want. You want to go so far that your body fails and your form gets ugly. You can’t know you’re burning away the old self until you work to failure.

That is, of course, if you’re healthy. If you’re fit for real training, not this physical therapy crap.

Forta wheezed, sweat dripping into his eyelashes and black eyes glaring at the physical therapist telling him to stop.

“I can keep going,” he said.

His treadmill was set to a snail crawl. This was an exaggeration, but he’s annoyed. He’s annoyed that they’re weighting his workouts with cardio, like he’s some damn treadmill bunny. He’s annoyed that even this pace was wearing him down like this.

The therapist, used to him by now, just tapped on the machine’s panel himself. The broad black ribbon silently slowed down. He’d been signed on to the Initiative to help with cryo rehabilitation, never thinking his old experience with biotiball teams would become useful like this.

“I’ve told you before, Ryder. This isn’t the weight room and I’m not your spotter. You’re not working to failure, you’re working to health.”

Forta took the offered towel with a little unnecessary snap. He furiously rubbed at his face.

“Yeah, I know,” he said.

The therapist folded his arms across his chest, datapad tucked underneath an armpit. He cocked a brow at him.

“Didn’t you do all this before? With the shoulder injury?”

Forta shrugged. “Yeah, but that was just the shoulder. I mean, I get it, you know? I have to heal. But I’ve never felt this weak before. Shit, have you seen my numbers pre-ice nap? I’ve lost like a quarter of my mass–”

“Now you’re just being a prima donna. Fishing for compliments.”

Forta turned to him then, still giving the short and damp stubble on his head a towel-down. He gave his therapist The Smirk and The Wink.

“Then compliment me. It’s good for my mental health.”

The therapist’s face just became even more dry. “Knock it off. You’ve atrophied an exact nine point three percent. Which is incredible considering the length of your coma. Your previous level of fitness and SAM’s assistance has been a big factor in getting you up again, but even so you’ve made a mountain of progress at a very fast rate. Put some trust in this process, okay?”

Forta looked away, frowning.

The therapist watched him for a long moment. He sighed.

“Look, Ryder,” he said and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I get it. You’re used to a high level of physical ability. But your life’s changed now. You know how to fight for the gain, right? You know the sort of mental strength it takes to push to failure, day after day. Well now your failure is lower. It’s the same thing on a different scale. You know how to do this. So do it.”

Forta snorted, shook his head. He stepped off the treadmill and waved.

“Thanks, coach,” he smiled.

The therapist rolled his eyes and watched him walk away.

“Don’t forget your appointment with Carlyle later! I know the Tempest is docking soon, but I’m sure the Pathfinder can wait.”

Forta just gave a backward wave in response.

He did understand. And he would do the work, but this just all fucking sucked. It wasn’t like the shoulder injury when he was sixteen; at least then the rest of his body had been just as responsive and looked the same. Now he felt like some lost ghost trapped in alien hardware.

He left the main physical therapy room in the Hyperion’s med bay, and had to sit down in the showers because he was too winded to wash off just yet.

Pathetic.

He sat for a long time there, making himself breath and recover. His elbows rested on his knees. He looked down at himself, the Initiative branded shorts limp on his wasted thighs. Chicken legs. Worse, vat-cloned synth meat, all flabby and strung out thin. The long period of inertness had wrecked the color of his skin, dark gold and freckled and coppery with tan gone to pastiness, his dark leg hair sticking out like dead grass in dead soil. Blegh.

The shower drained him enough to retreat to his hospital bed for a nap, waking up only when Dr. Carlyle came by and prodded and poked him with questions and scans and whatever. The exam finished, Forta watched Carlyle’s retreat from med bay with warnings about resting, his sister was coming here to visit, staying in bed, blah blah blah.

Forta tossed off his covers, shoved his feet into flip-flops and bolted (correction: geriatric shuffled) out of the Hyperion med bay.

-

He had to rest when he reached the gardened section of the Nexus docks, with all the benches. He sat down and tried not to be too obvious about the wheezing and the sweating and the shaking. He slung his legs out to try and relieve some of the muscle spasms.

“Pardon– oh. Forta Ryder.”

He looked up. It was that angara attached to the Tempest. He’d flung his legs out right when he’d been trying to pass by.

He grinned to cover the discomfort in his legs. “Hey, Jaal– you can just call me Forta, by the way. You guys enjoying shore leave?”

“I would not exactly call it ‘leave’,” he said.

He stood there, the dappled and pleasantly warm artificial light of the area flickering over the curious plums and roses of the his skin, all smooth over curving ridges and… neck flaps. Jowls? Flesh mane! Something. Forta’s vantage on the bench gave him a good view of Jaal’s form: the bulky and powerful chest, the supportive waist as a turian would say, and the elegant turn to those generous, thick legs. They were turian and quarian-shaped, those legs, but turians were all about Spartan asceticism and quarians were sort of compact and slender. Not generous and well-fed and full like this, with a butt almost as nice Forta’s own.

Or well. As it used to be. His butt dimples weren’t as cute as before, and yes, he had checked.

“Take a seat, you’re making my neck hurt,” Forta said, smiling.

Jaal obeyed. He sat at the bench across from him.

“We’re here for only a refuel and resupply,” Jaal said.

“I know,” Forta said. “One night only.”

“Your sister went to go visit you.”

“Yeah, I was hoping to catch her here. Change of scenery. Hospital visits kinda suck in a way, you know? Oh well.”

Not really ‘oh well,’ because he would rather go back and meet her, but he didn’t quite have the strength again to shuffle back onto the tram. So here he was, killing time and grinning so no one noticed how tired he felt.

“So, sailor,” Forta grinned, settling back with his arms draped over the bench’s back. “I take it you’re not breaking hearts tonight down at the Vortex?”

Jaal shifted. “No. I was actually at the Cultural Center– If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you a question.”

“Oh, me?” he said. “Uh. Sure.”

“Your names,” Jaal said. “You and your sister. She says they are from plays. What was it– Hamlet and The Tempest. Our ship is also the Tempest. Is it common for humans to name ships and children alike?”

He laughed a little. “Oh. No. Although, a lot of people name boats and stuff after people. The Jaundiced Janice or whatever. Mom named me and Mira. Forta’s from Fortinbras, Mira’s from Miranda.”

“I’ve seen the elcor Hamlet. It was excellent, but I don’t recall a… ‘Fortinbras.’”

“Yeah, he’s cut out a lot,” Forta said. “Umm. How do I put it? It wasn’t about the big characters or anything. Mom explained it best, but basically Fortinbras and Miranda were both characters that sort of fell into good luck. They didn’t suffer a ton or whatever for their good endings. I guess that’s kind of what she hoped for us in life.”

“Hmm,” Jaal hummed.

His voice thrummed, even across the distance they sat at. It was a bit mesmerizing, really. Not exactly like the layered vibrations of a turian, but deep and rumbly. Nice.

He cleared his throat, mindful of the blue eyes studying him. “Which is funny, really, because Mom was always pretty masochistic when it came to her work. Always working late, always pushing herself. I don’t know. I mean, that’s life, right? You don’t just get all the nice parts. You have to hurt, too.”

Jaal hummed again, apparently considering his words. “I think it is a loving sentiment. To want your children to live easily. I think she gave you those names as a gift of love.”

Forta licked his lips, a little tripped up. He didn’t know what to say to that. The guy was right, and it was what he himself had always felt deep down, but… Damn. Gut punch, jeeze.

And delivered at a real convenient time too, when he was aching to suffer, to get back to form. To get back to the field, to explore, to just freaking help. Here he was, sitting on his ass when things needed to get done and his sister and everyone from the Milky Way were out there doing it for him. Not that he’d expect to do it all, but something, shit.

He cleared his throat. “Okay, my turn.”

Jaal cocked his head. “A question? Go ahead.”

“Your body,” Forta said, grinning just enough not to be rude but definitely enough to give doubt. “Are all angara shaped like you? Or do you have to work for it? What’s your workout schedule like? You seem pretty ripped.”

Jaal’s eyes shot down to himself, roving over his own torso and limbs. “A rip? Where?”

“Oh, sorry. Idiom. You look really fit.”

“Oh. I don’t think I’m abnormal. Especially in the Resistance. You have to be able to fight well, and a well-cared for body is absolutely essential.”

“So the Resistance is full of people that look like you?” Forta said.

Jaal met his gaze. Forta willed the splay of freckles across his nose to full-powered prettiness. No wink, though. Let’s not be too hasty here.

“Not exactly,” Jaal rumbled.

Forta laughed. “Good to know.”

[clarebowenweb]

New Site Update has been published on Clare Bowen Web

New Site Update has been published on http://clare-bowen.com/2017/03/pressvideo-entertainment-tonight-nashville-star-clare-bowen-breaks-down-that-pregnancy-shocker-oh-drama/

Press/Video: Entertainment Tonight - 'Nashville' Star Clare Bowen Breaks Down That Pregnancy Shocker: 'Oh, Drama!' #clarebowen

Warning: Spoiler alert! Do not proceed if you have not watched Thursday’s spring finale of Nashville. If you have, read our full recap, then come on back.

Well, that’s certainly going to change things.

Nashville wrapped up the first half of its fifth season with an unexpected bombshell at the end of Thursday’s spring finale: Scarlett (Clare Bowen) is with child!

The singer-songwriter broke the baby news moments after reluctantly agreeing to go on tour with her on-again/off-again beau Gunnar (Sam Palladio), telling him that she’s going on the road with him, with one not-so-tiny caveat. “One thing you need to know… I’m pregnant,” Scarlett revealed to Gunnar (and the audience), who had a stunned expression on his face.

The kicker? She’s not sure who the father is: Gunnar or Damien (Christian Coulson), the Brit who directed The Exes’ music video and immediately took a liking to Scarlett. And so the long wait to the resolution of that cliffhanger begins!

Luckily, ET caught up with Bowen via email about what Scarlett’s impending motherhood means for her future — and whether it makes a difference who the father is.

ET: Scarlett’s pregnancy bombshell was quite a shock! What was your first reaction when you read that in the script? Clare Bowen: In the words of Terry Pratchett: “Oh, drama.”

How do you think she’d handle motherhood? Scarlett’s done a lot of growing up over the last couple of seasons. She’s developed a sense of self-preservation, as opposed to just trying to keep everyone else happy all the time. I think her having become protective of herself, her own wants and needs is a good start in self-love, just in time for this journey. Having said that, we all know she’s great at taking care of others, but having had an abusive, unwell mother herself, she has no training in “mothering.” Not to mention, she’s a 26 year old with a career, experiencing a surprise pregnancy just when she thought she was getting a foothold on life. But she’s resourceful and instinctive with the patience of a brick. So she’s just going to bloody well handle it.

While this normally would be happy news, it seems Scarlett is torn — especially when she admits she doesn’t know who the father is. How does Scarlett navigate this new uncharted territory? “Normal” is a setting on a dryer. Scarlett has had fears that she might suddenly turn into her mother upon becoming one. She also entertains the fear that this is her punishment for doing something that actually felt good, instead of just submitting to Gunnar’s wishes. But in her heart of hearts, she knows that’s simply not true. She knows everything happens for a reason and chooses to keep her baby, because to her as an individual, no matter who this baby came from, he or she is a part of her, and that is enough for Scarlett.

How will the identity of the father change things for Scarlett? If it’s Gunnar’s baby, will she have a different reaction than if it was Damien’s? Is it important to her who it is? Honestly she doesn’t want, or need, to know at this moment. She is the one carrying this child. She doesn’t want to hurt Gunnar, and thusly can’t fake having feelings for him right now. Also she has no idea what Damien’s reaction will be. At this point, it’s all about her baby. That’s just the way she is.

She’s also about to go on tour with Gunnar. Could this new baby thaw things between them? I don’t have children but I’ve been told they’re not instruments to fixing broken relationships. Scarlett was incredibly honest with Gunnar, and well within her rights when she said she didn’t know what it would take for her to trust him again.

It was lovely seeing Rayna — via footage, interviews — throughout this episode, as everyone started to pick up the pieces and move on with their lives. Were you satisfied with the way Rayna’s story closed with the recording of the unfinished duet? Upon witnessing Deacon’s strength in singing with the love of his life one last time, knowing he’ll never hold her again, there came about a feeling of “He will survive this” for Scarlett. Her family is a patched-together thing. Deacon is not just her uncle — he’s her best friend in the whole world, and she’d do anything to protect him. Seeing him put one toe on the path to healing made her heart soar.

Lastly, what three words would you use to describe Nashville’s return? Honesty, family, bravery.

Nashville returns this summer on CMT. – Source

[abdlbdsmstories]

Lost bet, lost dignity

This story will involve nappy play, bondage, public humiliation,  sex, gangbangs, bondage and abuse. Not for the faint hearted!! Its a cross of nappy’s and bondage. The story revolves around Sam (the humiliated), Tom (Sam’s bf), Ryan (the gang leader) and a variety of his friends. The first part is told from Sam’s point of view and then its told from Ryan’s point of view. There’s a poker game, Tom cant afford to play so has to offer Ryan something in exchange for staying in… and the rest as they say is history!! It takes a while to get going but i hope its worth it!

PART 5

"Now, Me and my friends have a few games to play with you again tonight as part of our competition. This will be the last night of competitions for a day or 2 as long as you don't give us too much trouble. OK?" He asked. I reluctantly nodded my head with a tear or two forming in my eyes and accepted my fate. He grabbed my arms and cuffed them to the chains. Then he did the same with my legs, cuffing my ankles to them raising me about 3 or 4 inches from the table leaving me suspended in mid air, still in my wet nappy and he proceeded to blindfold me. Then he left the room and turned the lights off. I was a bit scared of the dark, especially as I was tied up as well. About an hour or so later there was a commotion and a few people came into the room and the light was switched on, it was Ryan and his friends I gathered from the chatter. Somebody then ripped away my wet nappy and commented on my backside.

   "Well she certainly looks like she has got a nasty nappy rash there. Tonight's events aren't going to help that." He commented and I could barely control my tears and began to sniffle. My arms were released from the cuffs and so were my legs. Then my legs were pulled over my head and cuffed into the arm straps. My arms were grabbed and handcuffed above my head, then a dildo was shoved in my mouth and strapped around the back of my head. A whisper in my ear encouraged me to get some practice in.

    "Lets get the first game under way." Ryan shouted. "Firstly its the banana bum. How many of these bananas can she fit in her backside?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At the worst I thought it would be some kind of eating game. But how wrong was I. I felt a bit of Vaseline being applied to my backside then they began shouting out there answers. They ranged from 4 to 15. Then it began, firstly a finger was inserted in my backside to loosen it then a banana went, it was all soft and mushy and felt disgusting. Then another and another and another until I lost count. It began to get very painful and sore. The pressure on my bowels became immense and I was about to burst but I daren't for fear of being punished.

   "Looks likes she full, this one is half way in so lets give it a helping hand." A stranger commented and I felt the smash of a paddle against my backside and forced the banana into my backside whilst stinging my ass. It was one of the hardest whacks I had ever received and it stung so bad.

   "Well there we go, 11 bananas in her ass. Now we need to wait for her to expel it before we play our next game. Lets get her down and onto the bucket. I was released from the leg cuffs and helped off the table and onto a bucket. My blindfold was taken off and there I was sat in the middle of the room, in front of a camera with the lads standing behind it.

    "Come on baby girl, push out all the bananas so we can play our next game." One of the lads told me. I sat on there for a few minutes trying to push but nothing would come out.

   "Are you struggling baby? Well maybe this will help?" Another commented. He walked over to me and attached a crocodile clip to each of my nipples. "Put both of your hands on the bucket and hold on tight." He added as he undid the cuffs. He unravelled the wire and stood behind the camera holding a remote control. He turned the knob on it and it sent electric shocks through my body. I jerked up and down on the bucket, the shocks making me lose complete control of my body and relaxing my bowels. The echoes of mushy banana hitting the metal bucket filled the room. I let out a muffled scream from behind my gag. The shocks stopped and I struggled to regain my breath. Then they started again, the metal bucket rattled on the floor as I bounced up and down through pain. The shocks stopped again and I screamed ever more from behind the gag. The pain was unbearable and thankfully for me the clips were released from my nipples. I sat there, squatted over the bucket regaining my composure. I was ordered to stand up and I did, looking between my legs at the floor seeing the mush of banana that had been ejected from my backside. One of the lads left the room and came back a few minutes later carrying the highchair and a bowl and spoon. I was helped into the highchair and the front was closed gripping my arms by my side so I couldn't raise them. My legs were taped to the side so I couldn't move them and removed my gag.

   "Right, Smithy won that round as he guessed at 10 bananas so he gets first feeding on this round. Its feeding time. Lets see how many bowls of the banana mix she eats before shes sick. Now normally whatever you don't eat would go in your nappy, but this time whatever you don't eat will be your food to you do finish it." He exclaimed excitedly. Smithy walked over to the bucket and scooped up a bowl full then plonked it on the highchair table. Ryan handed him a bib, and he placed it round my neck, it was a pink one, bigger than a baby's one with 'baby-girl' emblazoned across the front in white letters. As Smithy dipped the spoon and scooped up a big mound I thought about resisting but I knew the electric shocker would be out again so I closed my eyes and opened wide. Four or five spoonfuls of the horrible mush entered my mouth and it was foul, like proper baby food. Another man then scooped up a bowlful and proceeded to force it down my throat. Then the next man did the same and then finally Ryan took his turn. After Ryan had finished I was stuffed and could hardly take anymore. Then Smithy started again and somehow I managed to keep down the next bowl of mush. Then the 2ND person stepped up again and it all went wrong. Just as the spoon entered my mouth and I gulped down the mush I could take no more and the look on my face must have given my predicament away as the lad held the bib over my mouth and a huge rush of banana mush came up and I vomited into the bib. I had 2 or 3 huge wretches of sick that came up. It was disgusting, as it hit the bib the lad kept forcing it back down my throat making me feel even more sick. He stopped and released the bib, causing all the mush to run down my breasts and chest and pooling between my legs and pussy. Luckily for me, Ryan had a bottle of water and allowed me to drink it to get rid of the banana taste. He held the bucket in front of my face, then poured it all over my head. It dripped all down through my hair, over my face and covered my shoulders and naked body. The whole group began chuckling, when Smithy piped up,

   "Thought you were saving that for her breakfast?"

   "I was, but this was a lot funnier. She will never not eat a full meal again now. Come on, lets get some drinks and come back later." Ryan replied, looking at me covered in the mush and laughing. They all left the room leaving me in the highchair covered in the banana mush in front of the camera. The banana smelt disgusting, probably for the fact it had been in my ass then in my stomach and back out again. As it began to dry, it clung to my skin making it near impossible for me to do anything like open my eyes or mouth. It stuck my legs, ass and pussy to the highchair. Also, I had the urge to piss and without a nappy it was going to add to the mess. I just let go and it was a big one, a dripping sound filled the room as the piss hit the floor amidst the camera constantly filming my predicament. I still could still hear the faint noise of the party next door when the door swung.

   "Judging by the smell, I'm going to guess you pissed as well?" Ryan asked. I nodded my head trying to murmur an answer.

   "Ha. The banana stuff has congealed on your face. What do you look like?" He laughed to himself. I then heard the noise of him unclasping the highchair and undoing my cuffs helping me down. He forced me down on to my knees then attached a a collar and lead to my neck. He walked ahead of me and tugged on the lead dragging me forward. I knew he was pulling me into the bar when I could hear people talking and laughing at me. A few people slapped my backside and touched me but it was pretty easy going compared to what I had already had. We arrived in the beer garden and Ryan helped me into the tin bath again which was full of freezing cold water which took my breath away. I heard Ryan walking away and the sound of heels walking closer. It was definitely a female, I could tell by the softness of her hands as she washed me down. She ran the sponge over my face and it became clear who it was, she had short brown hair, maybe mid to late 20's and was dressed like a nurse.

   "Hey. I'm Jodie, a friend of Lucy's. She sent me out here to check on you and make sure you are OK. She said you got a bad nappy rash. I am a real nurse at the hospital, I've just finished my shift. Lets have a look when we get inside." She told me comfortingly. She washed me down slowly, getting all the mush out of my hair and face. Once finished she helped me up and took me over to the wall.

   "Bend over dear and grab your ankles. Ryan didn't leave me a towel so you will have to drip dry." She asked me. I did as told, leaned forward towards the wall and grabbed my ankles exposing my ass to her. She gently rubbed her hands over my ass.

   "What a lovely butt you have. Yeah Lucy was right, you got a pretty good nappy rash. I will give her some cream I have for it and ask her and Ryan if they can stop spanking you for the night. I will be right back." She went back inside and came back a few minutes later with Ryan and Sam.

   "She has got a bad case of nappy rash. And I think you should let it air for a few hours and put this cream on it. And I think you should stop spanking and using her for the night." She told the pair much to my relief.

   "Hmmm OK then. We will let her bum air for the next 2 hours then she can go to bed for the night." Ryan told her. They were the best words I had heard all night. I was shivering quite a bit from the cold bath and they decided we could all go inside. Lucy was sitting with Ryans friends at the table and she made sit on all fours next to her. It was very uncomfortable on the hard floor but I managed to pass the time. My lead was then given to Smithy who yanked it, beckoning me towards his lap. He leaned down under the table and spoke to me,

   "Bet you thought the night was over didn't you. Well I won tonight's games therefore I want a blow job from you. Now." He told me as he unzipped his trousers and pulled out his huge cock. It must have been at lest 8 or 9 inches and mightily thick. I hesitated slightly, but a pull on my hair by Smithy drove my mouth towards his dick and in a second it was in my mouth, filling it completely. For the next 5 minutes I gave the blow job of my life. My head was rammed up and down gagging me on the massive cock. The longest gag must have lasted at least 30 seconds when I was on the verge of puking but I managed to give Smithy his orgasm, which was released all over my face. I was covered in cum all over my face, hair and mouth. I fell back to all fours and regained my breath. Lucy patted me on the head and said I had done a good job. Smithy took a few pictures of my face on his mobile phone before zipping up and wondering off leaving me and Lucy. She wiped my face down and sat me down on the potty just in time for me to fill it nicely with pee. Eventually Lucy left the table and went off to chat with Ryan and his friends then they closed the pub. Apparently there was a party at a local club everyone was attending.

    "Well Sam, time for you to get this place cleaned up again. You know what to do. When you are finished come upstairs and we will get you ready for bed." Ryan explained to me. I nodded my head in acknowledgement and started by clearing the tables of glasses and wiping them down. I did the usual cleaning the toilets, mopping the floor and wiping everything that needed wiping. After about an hour and a half I was done and made my way back upstairs to the living room. There was nobody in there but I could hear a commotion from Ryan and Sam's room, they were having sex. I really wasn't sure what to do, I didn't want to interrupt them but then again I didn't want to go to bed without a nappy as it would definitely end in a wet and messy bed for me. I took the initiative and went into my room, opened the cupboard and pulled out a nappy. I wasn't sure which to pick so I went with the thickest one I could find. It was plain white, but had about 4 or 5 inches of padding that looked thicker than anything I had already worn. I laid the nappy out on the floor, sprinkled a load of baby powder on my pussy, it caught me out how fast it came out and there must have been half a bottle on me. Then I rubbed it in, it made me feel horny and I couldn't help but fiddle with my pussy and rub myself. Just as I was getting horny I heard Lucy's bedroom door open and I quickly removed my hands. She walked in on me lying spread eagle on a nappy on the floor and smiled to herself.

   "My my, you are a quick learning baby aren't you!" She exclaimed. "Now didn't we tell you not to touch your nappys?"

   "Sorry Mummy. Its just you weren't in the front room when I came in and I didn't want to disturb you and Ryan. And I didn\t want to make a mess everywhere." I pleaded my case.

   "Hmmm I will let you off this time. Let me help you there." She replied, getting down on her knees and pulling the extremely thick nappy over my pussy and bum.

   "You like the thick nappys then?" She asked inquisitively.

   "I just grabbed the first one I could find. This one is huge." I replied.

   "Well we were saving this for a special occasion but if you want to wear it now for bed you can do. Come on get up and get into bed." She helped me up and undid the crib for me. She helped me in and returned with a bottle of milk and dummy. She leaned over me, kissed me on the forehead and shut the crib. I suckled on the bottle as usual, finishing it off fully then put my dummy and lay there contemplating my fate. I was slowly getting used to the idea of being nappied 24/7 as least somebody cared for me, albeit I was humiliated daily. I managed to wet myself before I fell asleep, it felt so normal now that it didn't bother. At the bottom of the bed was a teddy bear and I grabbed it, clutching it close to my chest bringing back so many memories of childhood. Now I felt secure and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.