buckysqueen80 · 3 months ago
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Warning: ptsd, smut, aggressive tendencies Cowboy Bucky!
AN:
This was written in 3 parts with a slow burn. If you know the rule you know the rule. Now we ride on!
Save a Horse, Ride a Bucky Pt1
I had been working on this ranch, from about the time that I was old enough to wear my first pair of cowboy boots.
My father had owned this ranch before me, just as his father before him.
Before that, the ranch had been in the hands of the Rogers family.
But when they lost their only son, the family decided to pack up and sell the ranch.
That’s how it came to be in my family, and now currently mine.
I was proud that I was able to keep this ranch going, despite the troubles I had faced the first year after taking it over from my father.
We had a hard calving season, last round, with some of the calves not surviving. So things had been tight for a bit, but we pulled through.
I lost my buckaroo a while back after the last calving season, and had made due without one for the time being, but I couldn’t go without one with the upcoming show season starting.
I was headed into town to put a posting up looking for a new buckaroo.
When I got into town, I walked into the town watering hole, calling hello to the owner, Clint, who was holed up at the bar, serving the regulars.
“Y/N!” shouted Clint, as he scurried over to the end of the bar, where I stood.
“Hey Clint!” I say giving him a one armed hug.
“What brings you into town?” he asks me, looking down at the stack of papers I had in my hand.
“I’m finally going to hire a new buckaroo. Been putting it off since Rhodney left. But show season is in a few months, and I want this to go as smoothly as possible. So, do you think I can put up a flier here, in case someone is interested?” I ask him.
“Actually, funny that you mention it, but there is someone down at the other end of the bar that just came into town a few days ago looking for work. You’re looking for someone, he’s looking for work, it’s meant to be!” he says to me.
Before I can say anything, Clint calls down to someone at the end of the bar.
“Hey, Barnes!! Come here!!” he calls out.
I just roll my eyes at Clint, preparing for the worst.
As I lift my head up, I am met with the most electrifying blue eyes I have ever seen.
My eyes traveled to the pinkest lips, as they continued looking him up and down.
I let out a breath that I didn’t know I had been holding.
He took off his hat, putting it up against his chest and taking a bow, before a low reverberating sound rumbled in his chest.
“Howdy! My name is James, but most people call me Bucky!” he says, taking my hand in his.
The moment our skin touched, a shock wave of electricity flashed up my arm, causing a trail of goosebumps to erupt on my bare arm.
Bucky must have sensed it as well, because when I looked back at him, he had a smirk on his face, and made no effort to let go of my hand.
Clearing my throat, I pulled my hand from his.
“Nice to meet you, Bucky! I’m Y/N. Clint tells me you’re new in town and looking for work. Tell me, do you have any experience working on a ranch?” I ask, not realizing something was funny, when Clint snickered.
“Actually I do. I used to work on the Stark ranch several years ago.” He says.
“Theeeee Stark ranch?!? What did you do there, per se?” I asked him, trying to hide the fact that I was impressed.
“Well I was the lead buckaroo. That was until his son became old enough to take over. He decided to make some changes, and tossed me out into the cold. Since then, I’ve been bouncing from ranch to ranch offering up work, in exchange for a meal and a place to stay. Sometimes I got lucky, and managed a few months of work, others only a few days.” he said, taking a seat on a bar stool.
I did the same, and ask Clint for a bottle of Budwiser.
Bucky arched an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.
“What are you having?” I ask him, and when he doesn’t reply, I signal to Clint to make it two bottles.
As Clint put the two bottles in front of Bucky and I, we both nodded in thanks.
“So tell me, what sort of work are you looking to be done on your ranch?” Bucky asks, before taking a swig of his beer.
“Well, as a matter of fact, I’m looking for a new buckaroo. My last one left after our last calving season, looking for a better opportunity. I couldn’t blame him, after the rough season we had, it was anything but stable for a few months after that. But with show season about to start, I need someone who I can trust.” I tell him straight.
“I think you’ll find that I can be trustworthy, Y/N.” Bucky says, looking me dead in the eyes.
I didn’t know what was going on with me, but I couldn’t sit still under his gaze.
Clearing my throat, I stand up, downing the rest of my beer.
“Tell you what. Be at the old Rogers ranch for six am tomorrow, show me what you can do, and we will go from there. Deal?” I ask, extending my hand out to him.
He raises his eyebrows in shock, but quickly recovers, looking down at my hand, then licks his lips before taking it into a firm handshake.
“Deal! I’ll see you at six am.” he says.
“Great! See you then, and don’t be late!” I said before calling out a goodbye to Clint, and walking out of the bar to my truck.
Once I got into my truck, I let out a deep, ragged breath that I didn’t know I had been holding.
Just as I put the key into the ignition, there was a knock on my window, making me jump.
I look over to see Bucky at my door.
Rolling down the window, I look at him, waiting for him to say something.
“I just um, I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the chance. I know you don’t have to, but I do appreciate the chance.” he says.
“It’s just a chance for now. I’m not easily impressed, so if you can impress me tomorrow, we will go from there!” I say as I turned my key, the engine roaring to life.
“I’ll see you in the am. Remember, don’t be late!” I remind him, putting the truck into drive.
I looked back in the rearview mirror, and saw that Bucky was still standing where I left him.
~~~~
The next morning, I woke up before my alarm.
Stretching, I get up and walk to the bathroom, turning on the tap for the shower, before heading to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.
I looked up and out the window and saw Bucky fixing the broken latch on the horse’s pen area.
Shaking my head, I checked the time on the stove, showing that it was only a quarter after five.
I march back to the bathroom, and jump in the shower, while getting ready for the day.
A short time later, I made my way back to the kitchen with my boots in hand and an elastic on my wrist to put my hair in a ponytail.
I opened the kitchen door to signal that it was safe to come into the house.
A few moments later, the screen door opened, and in walked Bucky.
“Morning!” he says, walking into the kitchen.
“Morning! There’s coffee there if you want some?!Cups are in the far right cupboard.” I tell him.
He takes down a mug, and pours himself a cup of coffee, leaning up against the sink while taking his first sip, his eyes closing in appreciation.
“Thank you for fixing the latch. I’ve been meaning to get to it, but I just haven’t had a chance.” I explain.
“Wasn’t a problem really. Didn’t take me that long.” he says, while enjoying more of his coffee.
“So, I figured we could start by herding the calves from the field. I”m presuming that you can saddle up, and we can ride out.” I say, standing up as I walk over to the sink, reaching around him to put the mug in the sink.
The smell of Bucky’s cologne wafts up my nose, and makes my stomach do flops, as I fight the urge to get closer to him.
Clearing my throat, I step back, shaking my head, and turn to grab my hat off the table.
Bucky puts his now empty mug in the sink, and grabs his hat off the counter.
As we hurriedly walk to the stable,I saddle up my horse quickly, making sure things are secure before mounting up.
I watched as Bucky did the same, and was atop his horse.
“Follow me, and don’t get lost!” I warn him.
And with that, we head out to the field.
~~~
Several hours later, and all calves herded in field, we head back to the house for lunch.
We decided to eat on the porch, as the weather heated up once the sun came out.
Bucky took his shirt off, wiping away the sweat that had formed on his brow, showing off well toned arms and chest under a muscle shirt.
I had taken my sweater off, sitting in my tank top as well, and I swear, without looking over at him, I could feel his eyes roaming over me.
I squirmed in my seat, while finishing up my lunch, trying not to pay attention to him watching me.
Once I was done, I stood up taking my plate inside.
Standing at the counter, I steadied myself against the sink and tried to take calming breaths.
When Bucky came inside, bringing his plate as well, I turned to look at him.
“Can you ride? I don’t just mean like you did this morning, but I mean can you do rodeo riding?” I ask him.
“I’ve broken in a few horses in my time, so yeah, I guess the answer is yes.” He says.
“Good. I have a steed that I’ve been trying to break in. Want to give it a go?” I offer.
“I love a challenge. Sometimes it’s especially rewarding to get an animal to do your bidding. Especially when they have a lot of fiery spirit in them.” He said in a low, breathy manner, never taking his eyes off of me.
Taking a hard swallow, I pushed away from the counter, and wandered over to where the horses were out in the pen.
“This is Brimstone. He’s got a temper on him when it comes to someone trying to ride him. He’s thrown people off. If you want to try, you’re more than welcome to it.” I say, reaching over the paddock to get the saddle.
I held Brimstone’s bridle, while Bucky saddled the horse.
Sensing that something was amiss, Brimstone started pacing in spot, steadily becoming more agitated.
I watched as Bucky slowly and softly ran his hand down Brimstone’s flank, gently petting his mane.
Slowly Bucky walks in front of Brimstone, locking eye contact with him, holding out his hand so the horse could sniff it.
Brimstone stomped twice, bowing his head down, before nuzzling Bucky’s hand.
Bucky got up into Brimstone’s face, whispering something I couldn’t quite hear.
After petting his forehead and muzzle, Bucky walked back around to his flank before mounting in the saddle.
I held my breath as I watched Bucky sit in the saddle, not taking the reins, but holding onto the horn.
Brimstone let out a whinny, bowing down, then back up, letting Bucky take the reins.
Ensuring to hold on tight as soon as he took them, he waited for Brimstone to make a move.
All of a sudden, Brimstone takes off, and Bucky holds on tight.
After bucking for what seemed like forever, Brimstone couldn’t shake Bucky off, so decided to bow one final time, as Bucky petted Brimstone's neck telling him how good he was.
I couldn’t believe it.
I had been trying for months to break in Brimstone, and Bucky had managed to do so in under an hour.
I walk up to where Bucky had just dismounted, and held out my hand to him.
“If you want the job, it’s yours. I can’t say anything but that I’m impressed. Especially with Brimstone.” I say, just as Brimstone offered a nudge against Bucky’s shoulder, and Bucky offered him a sugar cube.
Brimstone whinnied in delight, beginning to prance in the enclosed pen proudly.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
This was definitely going to be interesting to have Bucky here.
~~~~~
It had been several months since I hired Bucky.
To say that he’s proven to be a great help is an understatement.
I had managed to catch up on all the tasks that had fallen by the waist side.
Bucky helped me with the bigger tasks, and took on a lot of the menial ones as well.
We had just finished for the day, and I was sitting on the rocking chair on the porch.
Bucky came bouncing up the steps before sitting down on the top step.
We sat watching the sun set on the horizon, just enjoying each other’s company for the evening.
Over the last few months, the tension between Bucky and I had been growing, with his random off the cuff comments continuously in the foreground, giving people the impression that there was something between us.
Tonight was no exception.
“Y/N?” I hear him call out.
“Yes, Bucky?” I replied back.
“Thank you again for this. For the opportunity, and the chance to prove myself.” he says, turning to look at me.
I turn to look at him, and notice a range of emotions flicker across his face.
Trying to defuse whatever was to come, I stood up, about ready to excuse myself, when Bucky stood up as well, moving to block the door a moment, clearing his throat before trying to swallow his dry mouth.
“Y/N, I … “ he starts, opening and closing his mouth repeatedly a few times.
“It’s ok, Bucky. I’m going to go to bed.” I say, waiting for him to move.
As I try to move past him, he puts his hands on my arms to stop me.
“Y/N, I know this doesn’t seem right and with you being my boss, this is not something I would normally say, but I like you. You took a big chance by hiring me, and I know I can and probably would ruin anything that we have, but I want you to know I really do like you. I’ve been attracted to you since I met you!” he admits.
“Bucky, it’s ok really.” I say,my voice barely above a whisper. I couldn’t believe my ears.
Before I can say or do anything else, I’m being pulled into a warm and passionate kiss.
His lips are warm and soft against mine. Almost velvety.
Once the shock wore off, I tilt my head back, feeding into the kiss.
We stayed like that until we needed air.
I stood there with my mouth agape, trying to process the thoughts, or lack of thoughts, running around my head.
“Y/N? Say something? Did you enjoy the kiss?” he asks.
Before I can say anything, the phone rings, and I motion for him to stay put, that I’d be a moment.
Before I pick up the receiver, I turn back and look at Bucky getting his attention and he turns around and when he finally looks at me, I just nod my head yes.
I pick up the receiver, looking Bucky square in the eyes.
“Hello?”
Pt 2 to follow
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sixhours · 5 months ago
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i know you by heart - chapter 3
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Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete
Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Prospect, Joel Miller x Ezra, Joel & Ellie, Ezra & Cee, Joel is bad at feelings and relationships, Ellie is a little shit (affectionate), mostly follows canon after season 1, SMUT, gay sex, bisexual!Joel, period-typical homophobia, light angst, romance, age gap (~10ish years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3
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The greenhouse is warm and humid even this early in the spring. Joel wanders in, surprised to see Ezra and Cee at the far end, back to and hunched over something. Ezra turns around at the sound of the creaking door and gives him a crooked grin.
“Joel! To what do we owe the pleasure?”
“Hey…didn’t know they had you folks in here.”
“I’m supposed to be at the library,” Cee says, glaring at Ezra. “But someone had to talk my ear off about plant propagation.”
“You wound me, birdie,” Ezra says, undeterred. “The science of gardening is a fascinating study in the act of playing god, and an absolute necessity in the new world in which we now find ourselves. The importance of knowing how to provide for one’s own sustenance can not be overstated.”
“See what I mean?” Cee groans, but Joel recognizes a familiar fondness in her eyes.
“I can come back if I’m interruptin’–”
“No!” Cee says, eyes flashing as she gathers her things and heads for the door in a rush. “You’re saving me. Bye, Ez.”
“Farewell, birdie. Don’t do anything–”
“‘You wouldn’t do’, yeah, yeah, got it.”
When she’s gone, Joel wanders closer to the workbench.
“So…you like…plants?” he says, then immediately wishes he could melt into the floor.
Like asking a contractor if they like fuckin’ nails.
“Ah. When I’m not entertaining the psychological notions of being or contributing to the Jackson youth’s musical education, I make myself of use in the gardening department,” he says. He turns back to the workbench, where he’s taking clippings from a larger plant with a pair of shears. “Thank the fates that when FEDRA took my arm, they didn’t take my green thumb along with it.”
Joel blinks, glancing at the stump of Ezra’s right shoulder. “FEDRA did that?”
“Indeed,” Ezra says, frowning as a clipping drops from his hand and into his lap. “I had the misfortune of suffering a bite.”
The words, spoken offhand, turn the blood in Joel’s veins to ice. He can’t help but picture Ellie’s vining scar, and he’s left to gape for a few precious seconds before Ezra continues.
“Pinky finger. I was something of an experiment. A particularly nimble medic was able to sever the arm above the infection before the fungus spread to less desirable places.”
“That…actually works?”
“Not for the majority, I’m afraid. I’m an oddity, a medical marvel,” he says with more than a trace of sarcasm. “The haste with which my esteemed colleague moved and the lack of anesthesia allowed me a certain grace. I clamped my teeth around the same belt that cut off circulation to the arm and took a bone saw above the elbow.”
“Jesus,” Joel breathes.
“I am fortunate to have a high tolerance for pain,” Ezra says. “And it’s infinitely better than the alternative, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I s’pose…”
Ezra puts down the shears, rounding to face him. “But you didn’t wander all this way for my tragic tale.”
“Oh, right. Uh, the council has us at the greenhouse next door. Said there was probably a roll of that plastic stored around here somewhere. Need to patch up the damage from that wind storm last week.”
“Mmm, I do believe I’ve seen just such a thing lingering about in the back shed,” Ezra says, hopping off the stool and gesturing for Joel to follow.
They go through the back and out to a separate storage building. It’s a dim, windowless room, lined with spare workbenches and cluttered with all sorts of landscaping gear. There’s barely enough space for them to stand shoulder to shoulder. Under one of the benches, tucked behind a slew of unused pots, Ezra unearths a huge roll of thick plastic. Together, they wrest it out of its hiding place and heft it onto the bench.
“That’ll do,” Joel says, brushing dust and loose soil from his hands. “Should be able to patch the worst of it.”
“Glad to be of assistance.”
“Oh, uh…I still have that…the Songbird , uh, thing,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Been meanin’ to get it back to you…”
In truth, he’s thought about the album every night for weeks, listened to it whenever Ellie allowed him to borrow the record player, and could probably play half the songs from memory.
“You’ve listened to it?” Ezra’s face lights up.
“Yeah, I uh…yeah, it’s…it’s good. It’s…m’sorry it’s…been a while…”
“There’s no rush,” he replies. “Music should be…savored.” 
There’s another an awkward pause where neither of them makes to leave. In the cramped quarters of the shed, Joel can hear their mingled breathing, can smell the faint scent of sweat and the herbal lye soap from the commissary.
“Did you–”
“I should–”
Joel ducks his head, lets out a nervous breath of laughter.
“I was wondering,” Ezra begins, stepping closer, his voice lacking its usual bravado. “If you…if you would…indulge me.”
Joel swallows hard. “I-I don’t know what you’re gettin’ at.”
He sees Ezra’s tongue dart out, glazing his lower lip, before he raises his hand to cup Joel’s cheek in answer.
When he leans in, Joel is so shocked he doesn’t have the wherewithal to pull away. He’s frozen in place, all rational thought drowned out by the rushing beat of his pulse. He’s not entirely sure he’s not dreaming when Ezra’s lips press firmly, warmly against his own.
His eyes close of their own volition and the raucous noise in his head goes blissfully quiet as Ezra’s mouth slants over his, tasting of coffee and something richer, deeper, something that feeds the fire in his belly, a match to gasoline.
When they part, he’s stunned and dizzy in the aftermath, heart slamming against his ribs. Joel watches the other man’s Adam’s apple bob in his throat, considering him with careful, curious eyes.
Joel is the first to break the silence.
“I…I can’t.”
He suddenly can’t breathe, can’t take in enough air to get out the words, to explain. The roar in his mind comes back in full force, and he doesn’t even realize he’s moving for the door, doesn’t realize he’s forgotten the stupid plastic sheeting until he’s half a block away. He’ll have to send Tommy back for it.
That was stupid, really fuckin’ stupid.
He doesn’t know if it’s the kiss or the fact that he’s running away like a damn dog with his tail between his legs. He looks over his shoulder, half expecting Ezra to follow him, unsure if he’s disappointed or relieved when he finds he’s alone.
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“What’s your problem?” Ellie asks later that evening when they’re sitting together in the caf and Joel is pushing his food around on his plate. He can still feel Ezra’s lips against his.
“S’nothin’, kid,” he mutters. “Eat your food.”
“You’re acting weird,” she says. “And you have dirt on your face.”
“You’re actin’ weird,” he fires back, wiping at skin on his cheek, flushing at the thought of Ezra’s hand there. “Eat.”
“Is this one of those ‘do as I say, not as I do’ things?” she says, looking skeptically at his almost full plate.
“Had a big lunch,” he mutters.
“Uh-huh,” she says, then makes a point of stealing his dinner roll. “Oh, I saw Cee at the library. She said she has issue 7 of Savage Starlight. I’ve never read it, she said I could borrow her copy sometime.”
“Yeah?” he looks up, then back at his plate, trying not to sound too eager. “Are you two, uh, friends?”
“We hang out, I guess,” Ellie shrugs. “Ezra’s her Joel-person.”
“Her…oh. Right.”
“Hey, can I go over to Dina’s tonight? They’re having a bonfire, they’re gonna show me how to make s’mores. Or I guess, not real s’mores, ‘cause we don’t have chocolate, but–”
“It’s movie night,” he says.
“Oh…shit,” her face falls. “I forgot.”
He ducks his head, stuffs a forkful of something green in his mouth without tasting it. “S’no big deal. Dina’s sister will be there, right?”
“Yeah…I mean, we can do the movies if you want…”
“No, you go,” he says, swallowing a pang of loneliness with his next bite.
“If you’re sure,” Ellie says.
He ducks his head in a nod and hopes he sounds sincere. “I’m sure.”
They walk back to their house on Rancher Street, Ellie chattering about ritual burning ceremonies for the spring equinox, something that would probably concern him if he weren’t otherwise distracted. They spot Maria at her house across the street talking to one of the neighbors, an attractive younger woman who looks all too eager to chat.
Maria waves them over, but he pretends not to get the hint and makes a sharp left toward his house.
“C’mon Joooooel,” Ellie drawls, nudging him. “You should go talk to her.”
He shoots her a look.
“Dude, if I have to be all nice and make friends and shit, you should, too.”
“I’m good,” he mutters, letting them into the house. “An’ I’m not the one who tried to stab someone, if I’m rememberin’ right.”
“I never actually stabbed anyone,” she huffs. “And Dina forgave me, anyway.”
“Sure hope so. Could be she’s lightin’ your funeral pyre right now.”
“Very funny. But seriously, you should, like…go do whatever it is old men do for fun. Go to the bar or play golf or something.”
“Do I look like I know how to play golf?” he says, arching an eyebrow.
“Okay, maybe not, but–”
“Tell you what,” he interrupts. “You go to your bonfire ritual sacrifice thing, an’ I’m gonna sit right here and enjoy some peace an’ fuckin’ quiet for once.”
She rolls her eyes, heading for the stairs. “Fine, but don’t blame me when you die all sad and alone.”
“‘Least it’ll be quiet,” he calls after her.
That evening there’s still a chill in the air but it’s not enough to drive him off the back porch. He takes his guitar and a glass of whiskey and settles on the bench he installed for just this purpose. It’s quiet and private, a perfect place to practice.
Midnights in winter
The glowing fire
Lights up your face in orange and gold
I see your sweet smile
Shine through the darkness
It's line is etched in my memory
So I'd know you by heart
The last chord fades into the night when a familiar voice speaks from the doorway.
“I knew you were a musician.”
Joel’s head snaps around.
“Your young prodigy let me in,” Ezra offers, sauntering across the porch to lean against the railing, the long line of his frame lithe against the post. “She told me to tell you she’s off to a ‘ceremonial burning.’”
Joel sighs. “Sounds about right.”
“I wanted to…check in,” Ezra says carefully. “I didn’t want to leave things in a precarious state.”
“Yeah, ‘bout that,” Joel murmurs. “Look, I��m sorry if I–“
Ezra holds up a hand.
“If I may, I’ll say I thought–I thought I perceived a certain…kinship. I usually have a keen sense for these things, but it appears I was mistaken, and I wanted to apologize if I overstepped–”
Joel shakes his head, cutting him off. “That’s not…it ain’t what you’re thinkin’, Ez.”
“Then enlighten me,” Ezra sighs. “So I’m not left at the mercy of my imagination, to wonder if my radar is permanently broken or just temporarily out of calibration.”
Joel ducks his head. His lips feel numb and awkward around the words. “I’m not…good…at this. But…you weren’t wrong.”
Ezra considers this. Then he nods, tipping his head to the guitar in Joel’s hands. “‘Where words fail, music speaks.’ I take it you liked our friend Eva’s work?”
“Yeah…it’s, uh…hadn’t heard her version of Songbird . Reminded me of…of someone.”
“It reminded me of you…the musician. And with a resonant voice to match,” Ezra says, quirking his lips. “ Songbird for a songbird.”
Joel feels his cheeks flame and pretends to busy himself with tuning the guitar. “It’s, uh…softer than I’m used to.”
“Softness is an oft-neglected quality in this sorry world,” Ezra murmurs, eyes dark. “Play for me, songbird?”
Joel huffs an embarrassed laugh. “Y’want me to ruin a perfectly good song?”
“I don’t think you could if you tried.”
“Fine,” Joel says, breathing a sigh. “But don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”
He plays the song he’s practiced for weeks, the song that’s kept Ezra at the forefront of his mind, stuck like a splinter in his consciousness.
You left in autumn
The leaves were turning
I saw your sweet smile
I heard your laughter
You're still here beside me
Everyday
'Cause I know you by heart
The last note seems to resonate within him, filling his chest until it’s tight and aching. There’s the faint call of a bird and the rustle of the grass and the sound of his own breathing echoing in his ears and he can’t meet Ezra’s eyes even though he can feel the man’s gaze like a sunburn on his skin.
Then, footsteps on the worn floorboards of the porch as Ezra crosses the distance and takes the guitar slowly from his hands, propping it against the railing. The shifting of the bench underneath as Ezra sits. There’s the warmth of his thigh pressed close and a shaky out-breath as his hand cups Joel’s cheek. This time he lets himself into the touch, closing his eyes.
“I–I dunno how to do this,” Joel whispers.
“Hmm,” the other man says, considering, stroking the scruff on Joel’s cheek with one tender thumb. “I think you do.”
When their lips touch for the second time that day, it unlocks something in Joel’s chest, the desire finally opening him by force from the inside out.
His tongue traces the soft ridge of Ezra’s lips, seeking permission, rewarded with a moan and reciprocated touch, warm and wet. Probing, gentle curiosity that escalates into something harder, more needy the longer it lasts. Joel’s fingers tangle in the mess of curls at Ezra’s nape and pull, tipping his head back, kneading the skin at the base of his scalp as he explores the other man’s mouth with his own.
He takes. He gives in to the wanting that’s plagued him for months, he gives in to Ezra’s mouth and lips and tongue. They spar, trading off dominance and submission in equal turns, until they’re both panting and huffing, breath forming mingled clouds in the rapidly cooling night air. Ezra’s mouth is on Joel’s neck, biting, the skin at his pulse point clamped gently between his teeth. 
Ezra is smiling when he finally pulls away, eyes heavy-lidded, lips kiss-bitten and swollen. They’re pressed forehead to forehead as he chuckles, a mellow, rumbling sound that goes straight to Joel’s cock.
“Upstairs,” Joel growls when he can finally speak. “Now.”
“Lead the way,” Ezra pants.
They never make it to the bed.
++++++++++++++++++SMUT+CUT+++++++++++++++++++
He has just enough foresight to lock the bedroom door behind them before Ezra’s lips and teeth drag up the cord of muscle along Joel’s neck and his knees nearly give out, forced to brace himself against the door with one hand.
Ezra is greedy, his hand already coming around to clutch hotly at Joel’s stomach, pulling at his clothes–flannel, undershirt, belt, jeans, Jesus, why are there so many fucking layers –seeking warm, bare skin. He shouldn’t be surprised the man is adept, but he’s quick, too. There’s the cinch of Joel’s belt growing tighter and then loosening as it slips from the clasp, the tug of a button being roughly undone, zipper pulled down, and then Ezra’s hand skims the curls at the base of Joel’s belly before drifting lower, lower.
He’s harder than he has any right to be at his age. Ezra’s hand is precise, gripping and stroking his foreskin over his shaft and back with just the right pressure. He circles the head, slick with precome, then grips and sets a steady rhythm that has Joel biting on his own bicep to muffle the sounds that come pouring from his throat.
“Wanna hear you sing, songbird,” Ezra’s voice drawls in his ear.
“Fuck, Ez…that’s…fuck.”
Ezra’s mouth is latched to a patch of skin at the base of Joel’s neck, the vibration of a growl sending rivulets of pleasure down his spine as his hand slides over Joel’s cock over and over.
It’s embarrassing how little effort it takes to make him come, wound tight as he is. He paints Ezra’s knuckles and the door with his spend, groaning into the sleeve of his flannel.
He’s panting as Ezra manhandles him, turning him around and pressing his body against the length of the door to sip an almost gentle kiss from his lips, then another, carefully stoking the fire that’s resettled at the base of Joel’s spine.
“Come back to me, cher ,” Ezra murmurs, sliding his hand around to grip Joel’s ass, lightly grinding his clothed erection against his thigh. Overstimulated and spent, Joel has enough wherewithal to know Ezra still has far too many clothes on. He pushes the other man roughly back, fumbles with the button of his jeans–even with the use of both hands, he’s not nearly as clever or quick, but he makes do–until Ezra’s cock springs free.
Joel pulls Ezra close again, letting him nuzzle at the base of Joel’s throat as he takes his length in hand, stroking delicately, tentatively, less urgent now that his own needs are satisfied. Their eyes lock and Joel watches the other man’s face contort with pleasure, every furrow of his brow or tremble of his lip.
Then Ezra’s mouth is a hot brand at his collarbone, urging him faster, harder, until he’s thrusting his hips shamelessly into Joel’s hand and spilling against him, sticky and warm. It’s a sudden plunge into oblivion and it’s over too soon.
++++++++++++++++++END+SMUT+CUT+++++++++++++++++++
Joel leans in, pulls Ezra close as they both come down. He wants to take him to bed and wrap himself in the other man’s warmth, wants to undress him, map the scars on his chest, taste him, take his time.
“Ellie’s gonna be home,” Joel whispers when their breathing has settled. “Shit, Ez…we can’t–”
“I know,” he soothes, tipping his head up for a slow, lazy kiss.
“I don’t–I want…”
“Next time, songbird,” Ezra chuckles against Joel’s chest. “Next time, we’ll savor the moment.”
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“You asshole !”
Ezra left half an hour ago with a parting kiss that Joel can still feel burning up the back of his neck to the tips of his ears. He floats through the shower in a daze, wipes up the evidence of their tryst, stifles a grin in the privacy of his bedroom.
Now Ellie storms through the front door and Joel feels the blood drain from his face.
How the hell does she know?
“Ellie–?”
“You never told me about marshmallows!”
“...what?”
“Marshmallows,” she says. “Y’know, the white fluffy cloud things? Dina’s sister made ‘em.”
Joel blinks, knees suddenly wobbly with relief, and has to steady himself against the kitchen island. “Oh…right…marshmallows…”
“They’re so fucking good, dude. I ate, like, ten,” she says, headed for the fridge. “Oh, what’d Ezra want?”
“Uhm,” Joel clears his throat. “Uh…he…wanted to pick up that record I borrowed.”
The lie is out before he even realizes it’s a lie. It doesn’t feel like a lie because what happened upstairs thirty minutes ago had to have been a horny fever dream. Except…
Next time, songbird.
His ears are burning again.
“Oh. Cool,” Ellie shrugs, seemingly oblivious to Joel’s turmoil. She peers into the fridge, picks through the contents before taking out a container of leftover vegetable casserole. Ten marshmallows down and she’s still hungry, apparently, but it’s good to see her eat.
“So what’d you do while I was gone?” she asks, popping the lid off the leftovers and stuffing a forkful into her mouth.
“Nothin’ much,” he says too quickly, glancing around for a distraction. His eyes settle on the TV. “Hey, uh, I know we missed the movie, but…ever seen Apollo 13 ? Grabbed it from the library, it’s about one of the moon landings–”
Her eyes light up. “Moon stuff? I’m in!”
“It’s gettin’ a little late,” he teases. “Maybe we should wait ‘til tomorrow…”
“Oh please,” she scoffs. “I’m not tired if you’re not, old man.”
With that, she launches herself over the back of the couch, landing hard on the already strained couch springs. Miraculously, the casserole stays mostly contained.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?“ he sighs.
“C’mon, dude,” she says, easily ignoring him. “Start the movie before I have to put you to bed.”
“Put you to bed,” he mutters, settling on the couch in his usual spot. Ellie burrows into his side, tucking her head against his chest. She’ll fall asleep half an hour later.
“Marshmallows and the moon?” she yawns against him. “Best day ever.”
He can’t disagree.
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project1939 · 11 months ago
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(Ricky reads an English book to Lucy, top, Beat the Clock stunt with pies, 2nd level down, Christmas with Our Miss Brooks, 3rd level down, my two crush panelists, Arlene Francis and Robert Lewis on What's My Line?, 4th level down, the whole panel, bottom.)
Day 91- TV and Radio: 
TV: 
Beat the Clock, “Best Stunts of 1952,” December 27th, 1952. 
Our Miss Brooks, season 1, episode 13, “Christmas Show,” December 27th, 1952. 
What’s My Line?, season 3, “Sally Rand,” December 28th, 1952. 
I Love Lucy, season 2, episode 13, “Lucy Hires an English Tutor,” December 29th, 1952. 
Radio: 
The Phil Harris and Alice Faye Show, “New Year’s Eve Party at the Harris’,” December 28th, 1952. 
Suspense, “Melody in Dreams,” December 29th, 1952. 
Fibber McGee and Molly, “New Year’s Dance at the Country Club,” December 30th, 1952. 
The Great Gildersleeve, “New Year’s Eve with Peavey,” December 31st, 1952. 
Wow, this is it! These are the final radio and TV episodes of Project 1952! On the radio, I said goodbye to some of my favorite shows. I’ve gone on at length about my love for Alice Faye. I still wish she’d gotten more time on her own show, though. Fibber McGee and Molly was hands down one of my very favorite shows of any genre. It’s just always consistently funny, the running jokes slay me, and I adore the cast of eccentric characters with funny names. 
The episode of I Love Lucy today was a really good one. Lucy wants everyone to take English lessons so the baby learns to speak good English. She has Ricky read a children’s book, to see how it will sound. The book has the words “bough,” “rough,” “cough,” “row,” and “through,” causing Ricky understandable frustration at the ridiculous spelling and pronunciation of English! 
Beat the Clock recycled the stunts that were voted best by both the audience and the contestants. It was fun- of course there were whipped cream pies falling on husbands’ faces!  
What’s My Line? has lately had a fill-in panelist for Hal Block named Robert Lewis. He’s dreamy, I gotta say. He gives off a nerdy Gregory Peck vibe, and I’m here for it. He sits right next to my main crush of the show, the impossibly elegant Arlene Francis. Today’s occupations were a tax collector, a man who makes mud packs for facials, and a lady who ran a pool room. Sally Rand was the celebrity- I hadn’t heard of her, but I guess she was a famous burlesque dancer, known for risqué feather dances and popping balloon outfits!  
Our Miss Brooks was the funniest one I’ve seen yet. It is definitely a well produced, well written, and well-acted show. It’s not as stratospherically good as I Love Lucy, but it was made by the same production team, so you can see similar high quality. I’m looking forward to watching more, because I bought the DVD of the first season. 
...And now a word from today’s best sponsor: Sylvania Blue Dot Flashbulbs! The world’s most popular flashbulbs! With this little package of bottled sunshine, you’re set to snap pictures anywhere, anytime! No need to wait for the sun to come out from behind a dark cloud- just slip in the bulb and snap the picture. You're sure to make friends and family love you when you flash painful blinding light into their eyes! Look for the handy yellow and black box for a pocket-pack of these midget bulbs! Yes, we really did just say that. Get the best: use Sylvania flash bulbs with the blue dot as a symbol for quality! And if you’re lucky, the picture might actually turn out- but you won’t know for days as you wait to get it developed! 
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fernweh-s · 1 year ago
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I wonder if there a fan edit timeline of just homelander becoming more n more unhinged. I’d totally watch that as a recap when the next season drops
Have you ever seen American Gods / Preacher / Legion. If so what ya think of them.
Just knowing it’ll be be made gets me excited cuz it’s like a little treat for future me. Idk when it’ll drop so maybe it’ll slip my mind untill they announce it n then I get double the excitement like omfg I remember when they were talkin about it n now it’s dropping.
Well of course he would batman and the joker have always been two side of the same coin so they had to make him the overpowered cliche n Barbatos was definitely way cooler. The BWL has cool design but not a fan of his story just very predictable even the brain switching like such a cliche terrible writing all to snuff Barbatos 🙄
N making constructs he should be able to make n tapping I to that darker dimension just A1 writing.
Same with Red Death homie strapped him on the Batmobile like a hood ornament n obliterated him 😮‍💨
Doombreaker shouldn’t even been in the line up tbh so unnecessary. They shoulda gone with something else.
Omfg your the first person I’ve met/come across to have heard of it let alone read it. You seem to have good taste so now I’m extra excited to start it.
You laugh now but I’m so serious, everytime I see shark related things irl I be whispering to myself Chichimatul
Lmaoooo I'm willing to bet that there is definitely one out there somewhere. 😂
I've seen both American Gods and Preacher! I loved Preacher; I really liked all the characters. American Gods was another of those 'its just okay' for me at the start; I initially wasn't really v attached to the characters (besides Mad Sweeney lmao, he was an INSTANT favorite), then by seasons 2&3 I was more invested and tHEN THEY WENT AND CANCELLED THE SHOW.
Lmao exactly! I'll probably honestly forget too by the time it finally drops, so it'll def be a treat for future me also. 😂😂
Yeah; I liked BwL's design (although personally, I would have preferred if he had Bruce's actual body type instead of basically looking like the Joker cosplaying as Batman, like, he's just supposed to be a Jokerized Bruce Wayne, so why was he so skinny and lanky like Joker??—I whipped up a little 'how I'd have preferred he look' concept before:
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all the main elements of BwL, just [what I consider], to feel more Batman-y, and less, 'Joker playing dress up as Batman', lmao) and even his concept was a cool one—a Batman driven to Joker levels of madness? Heck yeah, sign me up, but DC definitely took the idea and made him more than what he should have been imo. Esp, again, when Barbatos was RIGHT there, being so much cooler!! Also, yeah, the brain switching was sUCH bad writing, especially since we ended up with basically TWO BwLs after! Since we have the original, now running around as 'Darkest Knight' after the ol' brain-switcheroo, and then when we had Batman use the Black Lantern ring to raise an army, BwL's original body was among the people he reanimated, and, despite NO LONGER HAVING A BRAIN ANYMORE it??? was still basically BwL somehow??? That was when I was just fully DONE with the whole event and like 'okay this is ridiculous, please wrap it up already' lmao. Like it went from such a cool concept to just, okay this is dragging out and just bad writing now.
Yesssss!!! His 'dark constructs' were honestly SO cool!!! I really that wish we'd had stories more of him, instead of BwL taking center stage and Dawnbreaker and the other Dark Knights basically being reduced to like, his lackeys (which was so dumb imo, like they're ALL Batman(/batwoman, in The Drowned case), they should have been more equal. 😤😤
For real!! The Batman who became Red Death doing what he did to the Flash was absolutely brutal. (And the fact that Barry was still present afterwards and basically trapped in there with him, constantly trying to get Bruce to come to his senses 😭😭).
HE REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE!! Like, I get that they wanted a counterpart for everyone on the JL, but for Superman there really were SO many better choices to choose from who they could have combined with Batman!! I still maintain that a Cyborg Superman or a Metallo version would have been SO cool, but there're plenty others that would have been neat too: a Brainiac/Batman mash-up, or a Livewire or Silver Banshee one. Heck, even a version of Batman combined with Parasite would have worked and been cooler than what they gave us!
😆 I hope you enjoy it!!
Lmaooo. 😂😂
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cydhouseofgryffindor · 2 years ago
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I posted 8,387 times in 2022
36 posts created (0%)
8,351 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@lovebittenbyevans
@07-05-1994
@soufcakmistress
@wandahadavision
@breanime
I tagged 192 of my posts in 2022
#bridgerton - 36 posts
#mayans mc - 19 posts
#ez reyes - 14 posts
#angel reyes - 13 posts
#bridgertonedit - 13 posts
#anthony bridgerton - 12 posts
#kate sharma - 10 posts
#bridgerton spoilers - 10 posts
#looks - 9 posts
#will smith - 9 posts
Longest Tag: 93 characters
#wow i’ve always been fascinated by houses with greenery but i’ve never seen the seasons shift
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Mayans Spoilers
Episode 8
Chile EZ no longer in the building…like that man is completely gone! Is it bad that I’m kinda turned on by it? 🙃
Louisa does not need to be anybodys mom…not rn at least…she needs to do some major healing. But Angel is such a cute daddy omg 🥺 I wonder why he hasn’t said anything to Felipe or EZ about the baby.
Angel semi trying to be there for EZ is adorable. He’s not that good at it probably because he always felt he never had a support system
They just ok Nails girl bye lmaoo
I’m sick of Emily like why? Just why?
Felipe is just heartbroken all the way around and it’s breaking my heart
Miguel can’t catch a break lmao
Taza giving Bish the same attitude now and I am all the way here for it.
Jess girl should’ve just minded her damn business because now look at her ass smh
24 notes - Posted May 31, 2022
#4
It still think it’s hilarious that JD plays the younger brother and he’s older than Clayton lmaoo
26 notes - Posted April 6, 2022
#3
Mayans spoilers
This shit is out of control chile!
I was so conflicted when EZ and Manny (idk his characters name yet) were fighting 😭
Gilly is forever about that action lmaoo
Angel and Nails? No just fuckin no. She is not built for this life. Her trying to stop him from going after his brother pissed me off so bad…even though I know it’ll hurt Angel I really hope the baby ain’t his because I can’t take much of her and all her crying. Like idk why they’re forcing this…mans literally dreads having to go home and then deleting his other baby’s pic? Ion like that. At least he isn’t sleeping in jeans anymore though.
I thought we were going to get two whole episodes without Emily but…
Bish has officially lost it…idk mans needs a hug and therapy
While I’m happy Manny has a neck tattoo (they knew) that shit is so ugly lmao like wth?!
They did not have to make me think they killed Angel..I was about to turn the whole show off and never watch again
EZ with that fake ass beard had me crying lmaoo but I’m happy we get to see more of his time in prison
The time jump was weird though..like why?
Letty needs to relax like foreal
EZ also needs a whoopin for many things but do not ignore my father in law like that sir! Also that big ass dog in that little ass trailer?
Taza just seemed out of it man…he’s battling his demons like shit
I’m guessing we’re going to get a lot of flash backs? Because they didn’t explain some shit within those 4 months. I mean was coco punished or anything? Or they just said fuck it. I’m so happy he’s clean again thought but he needs to let Hope go.
This man from jail is gonna set EZ on a rampage I feel like…
I’m excited for this season though
27 notes - Posted April 19, 2022
#2
Mayans Spoilers
Episode 6
Manny is back!!!! Been waiting on boo and he’s ready to tear some shit up!
So like I know Angel is the bad boy, fuck boy and everything else but them making him sleep with Letty? I feel like he really never would’ve done that. That’s so fucked and messy and her ass better not be pregnant! He shouldn’t have been the one to go anyways
Gilly was really the only one visibly upset about Coco and I don’t appreciate that at all
I hope something actually happens with EZ and that girl. Especially since Emily is on his line again. Can she just go to jail or something?
Miguel coming out of hiding? 👀 I wonder who he called. Where is Nester? 👀
Once they showed Luisa finding her baby I knew they were going to make Nails lose hers. Which is fucked up. But she can go ahead and take that ring off because we all know…
I don’t like that they made Angel lose another child though and papa Reyes was excited about having a grandchild.
Also what is papa Reyes doing? Is he moving like what’s going on? Did I miss something?
I guess we’re going to war 🙃
29 notes - Posted May 17, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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My chest 😩😭
216 notes - Posted April 5, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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cuntycassandra · 2 years ago
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It’s really funny to me that some Sebastian-antis are like “people only like Sebastian because he’s hot 😡.” or “people only like Sebastian because it’s Grant Gustin/The Flash 😤.”
Because:
I find that really disrespectful towards Grant himself. It’s like a backhanded compliment: oh people only like this character of yours because you’re good looking, or because you’ve played a nicer role elsewhere? Not because you put in the hard work to bring this villainous gay teen to life? Not because you’re talented and your wicked quips have charm and likability despite the fact you’re playing a villain/grey anti-hero? No sir, just because you’re ‘hot’, nothing else.
But it’s also discrediting the actual likability of the character anyway. Sebastian is perceived as a bad guy, yes, but we did get a few different layers to him, especially if you watch his background moments closely, that then sets out a foundation to help pull apart different aspects of his character, take what you like, and work with/enjoy it. And you know what else? For glee standards, he’s also just pretty dang funny. For all of the newer Sebastian Smythe stans, you don’t need any excuse or reason to like this character, just like you don’t need an excuse as to why you like Santana, Puck, Finn, or Rachel, or anyone for that matter. It doesn’t need to be justified because it’s GG or Barry Allen, you’re allowed to just like him because its Sebastian, and this is coming from somebody who was acquainted with glee long before the flash or Grant Gustin as a person.
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#yknow what I’m sure there are some Seb stans who only like him because of the actor but I’m speaking for the majority I like to think#it’s like when people see pictures of Sebastian and go ‘oh yeah it’s Grant’ I don’t do that? do other people do that?#like no that’s Sebastian to me. most of his photos are Sebastian to me#doesn’t mean I’m discrediting his other works because i think he’s a talented icon#but yeah. Sebastian comes to my mind long before the actor or the infamous Barry Allen#glee#sebastian smythe#grant gustin#Bea’s getting braver with her opinions everyone /lh#the fact that Grant is able to make Sebastian likeable proves how versatile and talented he is#it’s got nothing to do with his looks. I think he’s very attractive but that plays no role in how much I like the character#please don’t define this actor by his looks. he’s clearly a lot more than that#same with the flash actually. I’ve seen 3 seasons of the flash now. and he’s amazing in it. but is *he* the flash? no. he’s Grant. and he#does other things too.#like him for what you want but please stop making the entire personality of his fans centred around the flash. some of us just like#spicy slushy throwing Sebastian#also tbh what would actually be wrong if people did like Sebastian because Grant is the flash#like as long as you can respectfully notice they’re different character and GG is his own person you can like these characters for whatever#you want. like I said you don’t need a reason or justification#you like him because he’s Barry Allen? nice. cool. welcome to the thunderdome#Glee’s Gossip: By Summer
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jellybellyblimp · 2 years ago
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I want to offer my lukewarm defense of aging up Claudia before Sunday. I say lukewarm because I don’t know wether I will end up liking the change, but I can see why it was done.
I’ve seen some speculation that this was so the show could go uhhhh… raunchier? with her relationship to Louis. Personally, I disagree that this was the intention. I mean Louis has said himself he’s gay, so I could be totally wrong but I can see several far less gross reasons why this was done.
1. Claudia’s story has already been told. I think this show is trying very hard to tell a new story within a familiar framework. And they are executing on that wonderfully. They aren’t trying to create a faithful adaptation of the book bc that already exists. Instead they are telling the story of a Queer Black Man in the early 20th century, the story of an interracial gothic queer romance, the story of a black teenage girl in mid 20th century New Orleans. And I think that distinction is important. I don’t need Claudia’s story to be retold exactly the same when you can explore similar themes, but give us something new and nuanced.
2. Telling Claudia’s original story on screen is hard. I think the closest we’ll ever get is the movie, because their is no way an actual child actor can portray the maturity required for her. Nor would I really want to see them try bc let’s face it Louis and Claudia’s relationship gets questionable at some points.
3. Aging her up to 14, that the crux of puberty, opens so many new opportunities to explore. You still have that idea of an adult trapped in a child’s body, but now it’s those awkward middle school years. And honestly that sounds like real hell. She’s a young woman who will never get to actually be a woman. And importantly she is a young black woman. (Y’all thought Lestat was struggling to see Louis’ perspective as a black man, imagine trying to explain intersectionality to this bitch) She’s permanently trapped at the most awkward undervalued position she could be in. Too old to be a little girl, but too young to be a mother. And unfortunately society really only leaves one role for a woman to be then and that is sexual object. Doubly so, because racism. I’ll be genuinely surprised if that idea doesn’t pop up at least once.
4. This is a TV series. And confirmed for at least a second season. That she will feature heavily in. And if she pops up in flash backs (or as a spirit) in any seasons after that, looks kids age fast. It’s just not feasible to cast an actual child as Claudia long term.
So TLDR: I think this was largely a practical choice, so they decided if they have to change her story to work within the medium, might as well actually do something new with it.
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mrsmaybank · 4 years ago
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Crushing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
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“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.”
A/N: I love baby genius, season one Reid so much. I wanted to give him a soulmate. Soulmate is you: shy and also a baby genius. Okay, thanks for reading. This was honestly just for me. 
CW: Implied Smut, Mild Cursing, shitty writing 
“Who...Who is that?” Dr. Spencer Reid, debatably the wordiest boy Derek Morgan had ever met, was suddenly at a loss for words. Maybe it was your perfectly sculpted face, your shoes, the copy of The Kreutzer Sonata held to your chest, your chest, or maybe a mix of it all.  Whatever it was, at sight of you walking through the office doors, he was stripped of his ability to speak. 
“That’s JJ’s new intern.” Morgan said plainly, before noticing the completely enamored look on his friend’s face. “What, pretty boy?” Reid couldn’t even be bothered to reply. He was too busy studying every detail of your frame. 
“You think she’s cute or something kid?” Morgan playfully jabbed his shoulder, Spencer’s face instantly flushing an embarrassing shade of red. 
“What?!” He shrieked, “I-no! That’s not..No!” That’s a lie. 
“I just..I didn’t know JJ was getting an intern.” That though, was true. 
“She’s supposed to be pretty impressive. Let’s go meet her.” he started in the direction of the coffee stand, where you and JJ had begun chatting. Before Spencer could protest out of his shyness, he was being dragged along. 
“Morgan,” JJ smiled, “Spence,” she nodded in his direction, “This is Y/N Y/L/N. My godsent savior.” JJ beamed in your direction.
You smiled more sheepishly then you would’ve liked, muttering a “Hopefully.” that got a laugh from Morgan and a “Oh, please.” from JJ, but nothing from the man in the glasses. You did your best not to read into it. 
“Derek Morgan.” the muscular agent extended his hand to shake yours, an offer you timidly but happily accepted. 
The taller, lankier, younger, incredibly cute man next to him stuffed one of his hands in his pocket and shifted uncomfortably with a small wave, “I’m uh, Doctor Spencer Reid, oh! Uh, you don’t have to, uh call me Doctor. No..” He shook his head, “Just Spencer is fine.” He looked at you with wide eyes that sent butterflies berserk in your stomach and swiped his tongue in between his lips that only made them go crazier. JJ had told you all about the team. About the magnificently brilliant Dr. Spencer Reid, his 3 PhDs and eidetic memory, and all the other quirks you’d have to know in order to work with him, but had failed to mention how utterly hot he was. You felt a crush hijacking your system already. Dear god. 
“It’s nice to meet you both.” Your hands gripped your book tighter as you shifted onto your tiptoes, “I’ve heard really exceptional things.” 
The conversation was set to continue, but Morgan and JJ were summoned by Hotch to the closed doors of his office. Leaving the resident genius and you starting at each other with tight lip smiles. 
Spencer started first, “The Kreutzer Sonata is great.” He excitedly continued, “It uh, it actually used to be a pretty bold book to carry around. After the work had been forbidden in Russia by censors, there was actually a mimeographed version that was widely circulated. Then in 1890, the United States Post Office Department prohibited the mailing of newspapers containing serialized installments of it too. Theodore Roosevelt even called Tolstoy a-” 
His enthusiasm was beyond endearing. You finished for him with a soft smile, "Sexual moral pervert.”
Spencer’s lips upturned in a smile. It was rare somebody in the office could finish his sentences. And he couldn’t help but replay the crass words being said in your soft voice. He felt a crush hijacking his system already. Dear god.  
“Most people don’t recognize it in the original Russian.”  Spencer heard you say. 
“Most people probably wouldn’t recognize it in English.” he retorted.
You laughed, “Yeah, you’re right.” 
Spencer wasn’t even kidding. “I’m not joking.” He shook his head. “It’s unfortunate how many people aren’t even vaguely familiar with Tolstoy.” 
“It is.” you agreed. “You went to Caltech, correct?” 
He smiled, “Yes.” 
“I almost did too. Decided last minute on Columbia.” 
“You went to Columbia?” he asked. 
“I just graduated.” 
“How old are you?” he asked before quickly correcting himself,  “I’m sorry! That was forward! I am not...I’m not trying to undermine your studies with your age, I promise. I’m just curious.” 
“No! It’s okay!” You got out fast. “I’m 19. I graduated high school a little bit early.” 
“Me too.” He smiled. “12, actually.” 
Your eyes went wide, “12?” 
“Yes, um, in a Las Vegas public high school.” He winced, but the self-deprecation somehow came out charming, “I uh,” His eyes narrowed, “didn’t go to a lot of parties.” 
That made you wholeheartedly laugh. “Me neither! I graduated at 15, which you know is the age everybody else starts. It created a really weird dynamic because the older kids in my grade didn’t like me, but the underclassmen my age really didn’t like me.” 
Instead of the laugh you were expecting, Spencer just gave you a pensive stare. 
“Um..I can’t see why. I think you’re very likeable.” The compliment would’ve been strange exchanged by anybody other than Spencer to you.
  “Wait till you get to know me.” You said it through a smile but so softly you were afraid he might not be able to hear it, but he did. 
And that was confirmed when he flashed you the most incredible, toothy grin you’d ever seen. “I uh, I doubt there will be any change in opinion.” 
“Well, um, I’m sure- I think! You’re very likeable as well Dr. Reid.” you said. 
“That’s what you say now.” He retorted in the same coy tone you had earlier. 
You shook your head, “You’ll find I can be insufferably stubborn.” 
-----------------------------------
After two weeks, there was little Spencer could do to hide his massive crush affinity for you from the team. 
In the bullpen: 
You guys had locked eyes and were mouthing out exchanged of No’s and Yes’s from across the room. There was an ongoing half-serious dispute about whether or not Xanthippe slept with Plato. 
Morgan glided in his wheeled chair to whisper into Spencer’s ear. 
“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.” He said, shoving files into the cabinet below Reid’s desk. 
“I’m..I’m not.. I--what? Bedr--No!” Reid whisper-shouted back. 
On the jet: 
“Reid?” Gideon called Spencer, “Chess?” He motioned towards the board. 
“Yes, sure. Just give me a second. I’m almost done. I’m reading Infinite Jest. I don’t usually enjoy literature if it isn’t classic, even less so if it’s American. But..” Spencer smiled, “Y/N likes the author.”  He continued his fast-paced reading of the third-to-last chapter of the book. 
Morgan and Gideon exchanged glances. 
Even in front of you: 
You opened a sugar packet and began stirring. 
“De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium is still some of the best work on  heliocentric theory out there, I think. Copernicus knew what he was talking about!” You spun on your heels to see Reid’s face contorted in disagreement. You giggled, “Don’t give me that face! I’m right!” 
He took a sip of his coffee as to keep himself quiet. “Listen, cosmological theory is for…” 
But the pair of you were interrupted, it was Elle, standing behind you and in front of Spencer. 
“New skirt?” Elle asked as you turned, back now facing Reid.  She was pouring herself a cup of coffee too.
“Yes!” You excitedly nodded. “You like it?” 
Elle looked up and down, but not at you. The judgmental eyes were for the man behind you. She pursed her lips, “Not just me.” 
The only face redder than yours was Reid’s.
-----------------------------------
Nights spent in a bar after a case that had dragged on far too long was nothing new, but the energy tonight was especially light. Gideon had refused, but everybody else was just relaxed, even Hotch, and the team just got happier at each other's happiness. It was great, really. As Hotch and Morgan sipped on whiskey, JJ and Penelope had already downed four sugary, colorful cocktails and were in a whispered fit of giggles. Elle and Spencer settled on a tamer option of an IPA Spencer couldn’t name. 
“SPENCER!” Penelope excitedly shouted, “Y/N is literally you! You’re both adorable! You’re both geniuses! You’re both young!” She drew on her rant, “And if you have a crush on her you should just tell her!” JJ’s eyes widened in embarrassment as she tried to cover Penelope’s mouth. 
Morgan and Elle erupted in soft laughter while Hotch cracked an uncharacteristically amused smile. 
“Spence, I swear, I didn’t say that! I just...I may have mentioned how happy you get every time she’s around! And how you guys can talk for literally hours!” JJ defended, her words slurring in silly drunkenness. 
Spencer rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first time they teased him about you, and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either. 
“I don’t have a crush on her! We just….we like the same things! It gives us a lot to talk about.” 
“Yeah?” Morgan said through a laugh, “And what is it that boy and girl wonder talk about so much?” 
“Well, uh.. a lot of things. But I find she gets the most excited when we are discussing the theories of postmodernism, in that apparent realities are actually just social constructs and veritable realities are subject to change, and uh... we like to talk about linguistics….political philosophy….history... mathematic theory...and uh, oh! Doctor Who.” 
Spencer was blushing and spoke about you like a teenage girl did their boyband crush, and the team noticed. They didn’t even need to say it out loud. Spencer gathered from the way they looked back at him. 
“I heard she lent you a book too, Reid.” Hotch said before taking a sip from his glass. 
“Yes! She did!” He smiled, “It was her copy of Pale Fire. She has an impressive collection of 19th century Russian literature. All in its original dialect! Some of it’s even annotated, which usually would annoy me but since it’s her thoughts and notes I sort of find it endearing.” 
“Dr. Reid is endeared!” Greenaway shrieked.
“Yeah,” he nodded, pushing his glasses up a little higher on his nose, “I find her incredibly endearing.” 
“Y’all that sounded like a dorky love confession.” Morgan said as the team erupted in laughter and Reid’s head fell in a smile. There was no point in denying it anymore: He really, really liked you.
--------------------------------------
Within two months, you and Spencer had finally put your shyness aside, and spent a very lovely evening at watching an orchestra at the Smithsonian Music,  and sharing noodles at your favorite Thai restaurant. And then you guys spent some time on your couch. And then in your bed. And then in the shower. And then in the kitchen. You were both very sexually frustrated. 
For the following two months, as soon as you both stepped out of the office, it was very, very hard to keep your hands off each other. Could either of you help it though? Teenage geniuses don’t experience parties, or football games, or clumsy sex. The time was perfect to make up for it. 
And you guys did. The sex part at least. “Football involves a lot of dirt. And germs. And sweat.”
“Oh my god!” you shrieked. His hands were in a place they found themselves more and more often: Your pants. 
“Does it feel good?” he asked, continuing his pattern of small circles on that particular bundle of nerves. 
“It feels great.” You nodded. 
“I uh, I’ve been researching the female anatomy.” 
You closed your eyes and nodded your head, but trying to focus on your boyfriends newfound intellect. “It’s fascinating, isn’t it?” 
He watched your undoing with boyish adoration and curiosity before swallowing, “Very.” 
“Oh fuck!” Your legs began to shake, “Spencee...I’m gonn--” 
--------------------------------------------
You and Spencer just understood each other. 
782 notes · View notes
midgardianweasley · 3 years ago
Text
The Royal Ball
The Royal Ball
Loki laufeyson x Fem!reader
Summary: There is an Asgard ball being hosted in the palace, Y/N is yet to find a date to accompany her. She’s disappointed when a certain God doesn’t ask her, however, what happens when he sees someone else getting a little too close for comfort throughout the night?
Warnings: lil bit angsty, self doubt, JEALOUS LOKI, fluffy ending
Word Count: 3.3k
Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist!
Requests are open loves <3
Y/F/N - Your Friend’s Name
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It was a beautiful autumn’s day, crisp brown leaves were falling off of the large trees in the courtyard and scattering the cobbled ground. Loki and I had been wandering around for some time now, discussing everything from the books we’ve been reading to the dreams that have come to us in our sleep.
“And then this huge ghost thing was chasing me around the halls! and if that wasn’t weird enough, you popped up-”
“Ah, seeing me in your dreams are we, darling?”  Loki chuckled, taking great pleasure at the fact that he had made an appearance in my subconscious, completely ignoring my distress at being chased by a supernatural being.
“Funny you should say that, right after seeing you, I woke up. The sight must’ve given me quite the scare.” I scoffed, a smile unable to stop itself from making its way onto my face, eyes meeting his, face etched with shock. With a hand to his chest, he spoke again in disbelief.
“You have truly offended me, love. I never knew you had this side to you.”
“What can I say? I’m a woman of many talents.” I winked, nudging his side slightly with my elbow.
“Really? Can you produce illusions?”
“No.”
“Look inside other people’s heads?”
“Well, no, but-”
“Turn yourself into a snake to scare your eight year old brother?”
“I still can’t believe you did that”
“My greatest achievement yet.” He smirked, the memory never failing to amuse him.
His stories always had me in awe of his capabilities, even if it was to give his brother a long-term fear, it was still an incredible talent. Whenever he tells me of his latest adventures or tricks, I always think of how well his title fits him. God of Mischief. Maybe that’s why I liked him much more than what a best friend should, not that I'd ever admit it. Not to him anyway.
We soon found ourselves standing next to one of the windows of the hallway, the crystal clear glass giving a beautiful view of the city of Asgard. From here, you could see the Queen’s gardens, full of flowers in all different colours and types, grass cut to perfection. You could see the families in the town, walking around the different buildings, children playing. It was lovely to watch, seeing everyone enjoy the seasonal weather and the light bounce off of the windows, it was ethereal.
“I never get tired of this.” I sighed, voice only slightly above a whisper
“Tired of what, love?”
“Just, this. This view, this kingdom, it’s incredible.” I looked up at Loki, trying to see if he was seeing the same beauty that I did. He was already looking at me when I met his eyes and upon seeing the way they sparkled, I assumed he did.
“Actually, speaking of the Kingdom, I have something to tell you. There’s-”
Abruptly stopping him from continuing his sentence, voices were heard from the other end of the hallway, though we couldn’t make out the words until they came closer. We gave each other a quick look of confusion before turning to see where the commotion was coming from, hearing the quick and heavy footsteps before being able to put names to the faces.
“Loki! Y/N!” A deep voice bellowed. Was that Thor making all of that noise?
Before I could process any more information, a blur of a pastel pink dress was in my face and hands were placed on my shoulders. I smiled down at the slightly out of breath figure using me as a support stand, it was Y/F/N.
“Wow, Y/F/N, you sound much different than when I spoke to you yesterday, did you drink something funny?” I chuckled, receiving a glare from my friend and a quiet laugh from the God beside me. Thor soon appeared next to Y/F/N, hands on his hips and head thrown back as he tried to compose himself.
“My God, Y/F/N, you run fast.” He pants.
“Care to tell us why you’re both running like madmen through the palace?” Loki speaks, one eyebrow raised in curiosity and what looked a little like concern.
“We..had to..tell you..there’s a ball..next week.” Y/F/N spoke, a bit more stable now, but still in between breaths.
I felt my eyes widen, a ball? I didn’t know Asgard held balls.
“Father is opening up the palace next week to neighbouring kingdoms, in hopes to be closer with them, open Asgard up to more trade opportunities, build relationships and whatnot.” Thor explained, emitting a loud sigh to come from Loki.
“I was just about to tell her, brother. Thank you for interrupting.” He rolled his eyes, half joking, half serious. I reached up and patted his shoulder gently, a small smile on my face.
“Maybe next time Lok” He nodded in response, I didn’t get a chance to comfort him much more before I was being pulled away by Y/F/N. With a small huff of surprise, I gave Loki a glance, silently apologising for our conversation being cut short, receiving a shake of his head in reply, affirming me to not worry about it.
“So.” she begins. “We need to find you a date and a dress. I’m thinking blue. I’m wearing purple so it’s probably best to avoid that one. Hmm. let’s see..oh! I know! we could- Y/N? You listening?” I snapped my head around, not missing the sly smile that was plastered all over my friend’s face.
“Y/F/N, don’t-”
“Loki! He has to be your date. You could wear green and match! If he’s even going to wear green, I'm sure I can get Thor to find out, I assume they’ll get ready together. And black accessories! I have so many ideas.” She clapped her hands, over-excited about the opportunity to plan this evening for us. Except for one minor detail.
“That sounds great, Y/F/N, it sounds wonderful, you’re just missing something.”
“Missing something? Oh, if you mean our hair then i’ve already-”
“No, not our hair. Loki hasn’t asked me, and I doubt he will.” I spoke, the second half coming out more as a whisper, my heart dropping a little at the thought. He’d never really expressed having those kinds of feelings for me and I'd always seen him be close with different girls around the palace, he’ll probably ask one of them.
“He might ask you, you never know what’s around the corner.”
“I guess so, we’ll have to wait and see.”
And that was the last we spoke of it before she went into full planner mode again, while I continued to ponder over all of the thoughts running through my head. I mean, he could ask me, right?
--------------------------
He didn’t.
After talking about it with Y/F/N, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe I was wrong, maybe I hadn’t noticed something that she had, that Loki would approach me and ask me to be his company for the evening.
I spent the next couple of days with him, hoping he would ask me, everytime a pause would appear in conversation, maybe he was finally going to do it. And everytime, a little bit of the hope I had, had fizzled out.
I’d even considered other reasons as to why he hadn’t asked, maybe the King didn’t want him and Thor to have dates so that they could mingle with members of the other kingdoms. Of course that theory had flown right out one of the Palace’s windows when Y/F/N told me that Thor was going to be her date. I was right then, he wasn’t wanting to go with me.
I guess I understood, I’m the best friend, we’d always been that. I think a part of me just thought that maybe he, like me, wanted something a little more. Clearly, I was mistaken.
Y/F/N and I had been getting ready for a while now, our hair was styled to perfection, our dresses were on and both of us were fully accessorized. We were looking at ourselves in the mirror, doing spins and curtseys and gushing over how good the other looked.
“You look amazing tonight, Y/N, really. Loki is missing out.”
“Thank you, and I'm sure his date is beautiful.” I spoke, fidgeting with the fabric of my dress, trying to avoid the subject and the twisting knot in my stomach at the thought of him with someone else all night. “You look incredible! You were right to pick purple, it’s definitely your colour.”
“Y/N’s right, you look gorgeous.” Thor declared, leaning against the doorway sporting a black suit and a dark purple tie, the perfect match with his date’s dress. I could feel my eyes light up when seeing how happy the simple, yet effective comment had made Y/F/N. Rushing over, she engulfed Thor in a hug before leaning up slightly and giving him a peck on the cheek.
“Ah and can’t forget, Y/N, you look stunning tonight.” He gestured to me, arm almost scanning me up and down.
“Stop, you’ll make me blush.” I laughed. “You both head off, I’ll catch up.”
“Are you sure? We don’t mind waiting?” Y/F/N questioned.
“Don’t be silly. You guys go on ahead, I'll meet you there.”
With a nod and a wave, they were off. They really did look like a perfect match tonight. I continued to look at myself in the mirror, fixing any stray hairs, flattening any kinks in my dress. Realistically, I was probably trying to prolong leaving for as long as I could. I was excited, but I was turning up on my own while everyone else had someone, it was a bit nerve-wracking. I still wanted to look my best though.
“Stop trying to convince yourself that you look good, you could literally blow an army of men away by looks alone.” A voice spoke, I spun to see who was speaking, the flash of green was enough to decipher who it was.
“You look lovely tonight, darling.” He grinned, the pet name had set off butterflies in my stomach.
“Thank you. As do you.”
“Well, I did put in an effort, nice to know it’s appreciated.” He joked, a breathy laugh left my lips, entertained by his words.
“Yes, well, I'm sure plenty of others will too.”
“The eyes will never leave me, I'm sure. Unless they’re on you, then I'd be surprised if I get even so much as a glimpse in my direction. Someone is a very lucky guy tonight, that’s for sure.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked, confused by his statement.
“Well, they get to be beside you all evening, it’s a beautiful view.” He winked.
It could’ve been you, I thought. I knew he was joking, however that didn’t stop the fire in me from igniting.
“I could say the same for you, someone is a very lucky girl.”
“I’ll be sure to let her know if she ever thinks otherwise.” Joking, again.
So he had asked someone. Albeit disappointed, I'm happy he’s happy. Though I still wish I was the girl in question, I couldn't stop him if he was interested in someone else. That wasn’t fair.
Giving him a brief nod and a tight lipped smile, I picked up the front of my dress a little bit and made my way out of the room and downstairs to the ball. I could still enjoy myself, the night is young, I've got this.
------------------
“It was crazy! And let me tell you, my dad was so angry with me. He didn’t let me serve Turkey again after that year.” Charlie, a guy that I had met an hour or so ago, finished his story of the Christmas horror he had, allowing me to relax for the first time that evening. Up until now, it had felt like all I’d seen was either happy couples, or stares from across the room. Usually the second and usually Loki. The same Loki who had a girl’s arm linked with his and was looking at him like he held the world in his grasp. I broke the gaze, finding it difficult to look at the pair for any longer, as I turned back to Charlie so he could have my attention again, a lazy smile was present as he took a sip of his wine.
“I don’t blame him, really, it sounds like you started a riot!” I exclaimed, sending us both into a full on belly laugh, thinking back to the story. This continued for another five or so minutes, laughter turning into a low chuckle, as if we were about to be told off for how loud we were being. Just as my hand had reached his arm to help hold me up, saving me from laughing myself into the ground, Loki and his date had made their way over.
“Enjoying ourselves, I hope?” He beamed, taking one look at me before giving his full attention to Charlie.
“Yes, yes we are, thank you. How about the two of you?”
“Ye-”
“It’s been fine, yeah, good. So, what’s your name then?” Loki interrupted, his date having no choice but to leave him to respond instead.
“I’m Charlie Fernsby.” He held his hand out, greeting Loki. A gesture that was very awkwardly not reciprocated as he let his hand fall back to his side before Loki spoke up again.
“Charlie..Charlie, now, isn’t that a girl’s name?”
“Loki!” I scolded, giving him an evil side glance, what was he doing?
“No, no it’s okay. Yeah, it can be used for girls too, but it's common for boys to have the name Charlie.” Polite as ever, he responded. A mischievous look made its way onto the God’s face. Oh no.
“So, I take it your parents wanted a girl?”
“I- I’m sorry?”
“I assume your parents wanted a girl, considering they’ve given you a girl’s name?” I rolled my eyes, this teasing was unnecessary.
“Charlie, let’s go and get a drink.” I tried to tug him away, only to be halted by another sentence leaving my best friend’s mouth.
“It was only a question, I'm sure he doesn’t mind answering, do you Carl?”
“Charlie.”
“That’s what I said.”
“You said-” I tried to interject, but he was quick to stop me
“I know what I said, Y/N, but I'm speaking to him. Let him answer the question.”
Loki’s date was long gone by now, she’d left to speak to another group of people, presumably another few couples, leaving us three to have this discussion, thing, whatever you would think to call it.
“I’m just saying, maybe they would’ve preferred a daughter, seeing as they’ve very obviously made that clear.” He beamed, expecting me to join in and agree with him, I don’t find this funny. At all.
“Can you excuse us, Charlie? Loki, A word.” I pointed to the door, giving him a look implying for him not to test me.
“I’m in trouble. Wish me luck Carlos.”
“Charlie.”
“I know, that’s what I said.”
I pushed him all the way out the door, into the hallway and round the corner so as not to disturb everyone else’s evening. When I’d made sure there was no one else around, I looked up at the Asgardian, my arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed, I wasn’t impressed anymore.
“So, are we out here for some hide or seek, or?”
“What the hell was that in there?!” I raised my voice slightly, his need to always make everything a joke wasn’t working this time. He had his night, his date, he didn’t need to come over and insult mine.
“What was what, darling? I was making conversation.”
“You were making fun of him.”
“No, I showed some concern about his parents choices, that’s all. Friendly advice if anything.” He looked a bit more frustrated with me now, as though he was stating the obvious and it was going over my head. I wasn’t having it this time.
“No, Loki. You weren’t and you know you weren’t. You had your date, she was fine, you were fine-”
“Well-”
“Let me finish. Everything was fine. Until you caught sight of me having a friendly conversation with another guy who wasn’t you. But guess what Lok, I’m allowed to do that! I’m an adult, I can speak with whoever I like!” My arms were all over the place now, my frustration was starting to show itself, it seems I had a bit pent up.
I saw his lips move, I heard something, but it was so quiet I couldn't make it out.
“Speak up, Loki. I can’t hear you.”
“I said, if you think he was just being friendly, you’re clearly out of your mind.”
Is he serious?
“Are you- Loki, you have no right to make a judgement on who and how and why I interact with other people. Not that it should matter to you anyway, you’ve spoken to other women before and I've never said a word or tried to stop you. Why does this matter so much?”
Silence.
“No, please, go on, tell me, enlighten me as to why this bothered you so much tonight, because trust me, I'm dying to know, truly.” I was shouting now, I just wanted answers for his behaviour, I didn’t think it would be this difficult.
His hands had made his way into his trouser pockets, eyes looking everywhere before settling on mine. He looked conflicted, I wanted to drop it when I saw his troubled gaze, but I couldn’t go back in there without an explanation.
“Ple-”
“I like you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear, love? That I was so uncomfortable seeing some you get close with some guy that I had to embarrass him in front of you? Something I'm sure my father won’t be so impressed to hear, but there, you’ve got your confession.” His voice had gone much louder than mine, taking me by surprise, so much so that it took me a minute to process what he had said. He liked me?
He turned to leave, I assume because I hadn't said anything for a matter of minutes, but I gently grabbed his arm, tugging him back towards me. I looked up into his eyes again. I was so close that you could see the specs of different colours spotted in them, they were flawless. This view beats the Asgard view anyday.
“Why didn’t you mention this before?”
He shrugged, “I don’t know. Worried I guess. We’d never spoken of moving past friendship and I didn’t think you’d be interested.”
“I’m more than interested, Loki.” I grinned, my smile meeting my eyes, never leaving his.
“Not Chelsey?”
“For the love, it’s Ch-”
I couldn’t say his name, a certain pair of lips had stopped me from doing so. As they molded against mine, my hands went up to tangle themselves in his hair, his hands falling to my waist and pulling me closer, I didn’t even think that could be possible. We pulled away when we needed to catch a breath, foreheads falling against each other, smiles painted on both of our faces.
“I bet I'll be in your dreams again tonight.” He whispered.
“I bet I'll be in yours.”
“Always are, Darling. Always are.”
taglist: @horrorxweasley
571 notes · View notes
bakugohoex · 4 years ago
Note
Are you going to make part 3 of jeans this isn’t a date?
part three: “this isn’t a date jean, we’re undercover”
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pairing: jean kirschtein x female reader
cw: fluff, angst, season 4 spoliers, major character death, kissing and comfort
word count: 2700+
a/n: the poll went for fluff ending but i still added some angst, originally i was going to kill you off so yeah this is what you guy’s are getting, a moderate sad ending with jean’s comfort
summary: in which the time for fighting has begun and with the success of eren and the capture of zeke, the long journey ahead back to paradis seems to be your only concern, until the arrival of an unexpected warrior creates turbulence with jean realising his only goal now is to protect you
part one | part two
↞ back to attack on titan masterlist
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The shock and horror stayed on the Marleyans faces, the sound of Eren chewing Lord Tybur up as if he meant nothing and then there were you two. Jean gave a nod as you both parted, his hand being the last thing you felt on your own, a sign of the love you both held for one another. The way they all ran away in fear as Eren marched towards the Marleyan soldiers, he had murdered so many people in an instant. But you knew worst of all you were about to do the same thing to them all. 
It all became a flash of thought, the way the war hammer titan’s bright yellow light rose up from the sky, you had begun flying closer to where the real action was. Leading a squad to easily infiltrate and kill the Marleyans, but even with these people by your side a sense of duty settled within you. 
Soaring through the air past the buildings and rubble until you finally saw the scene first hand, the white war hammer already hurting Eren and the signs of canons hitting him. You knew what was to come just as the War Hammer titan began thinking she had won, the one indestructible force arrived. Mikasa swung with ease as you watched in the air, shooting and using the thunder spears, you shot up from the air with your own squad. The way you all at ease began using the spears to kill the soldiers with such ease. 
“Good work guys.” You muttered slowly through the flames, moving closer onto where the canons were. You notice Jean a small smirk seeing you finally fighting after these past couple of months. He shot at the men who hadn’t been harmed, watching as you did the same. It began easier to swing with actual buildings and rubble, shooting at those who were fighting back, the fires and explosions that occurred bringing a sense of relief that you weren't the ones being murdered. 
You and Jean swung through the air, seeing as he grabbed a man to get up to the roof. “Grab my hand.” He whispers as you easily get swung over onto the roof. Both you and Jean leave heavy breathes at all the blood on your hands. “Those morons.”
You both had seen the flash of another explosion, Jean more pissed off that normal, “Jean.” It was only a mere whisper, but he was pissed at Floch’s shooting. 
“Hey! You gonna burn the whole zone down?!” What part of keeping civilian casualties to a minimum don’t you get, Floch?” You easily chased after the brunette, who began shouting at Floch as usual. 
Floch turned to meet you both, staring at the scene in front of you of fires and explosions. You didn’t care for his words, but you saw as he began shaking his hands violently. You moved away from the two of them wanting to see the action and if any Marleyan soldiers were near to kill. Floch continued rambling onto Jean as you the cold hard truth had been brought to light. This was a battle to kill, the only ones you needed being Eren and his brother, revenge was the main cause of this all. Your people’s revenge. 
“Y/n.” Jean softly whispers as you watch the fire, the men around you dead as you both begin waiting for the rest of the squads to meet here. You could already see the beacons of lights appear throughout the city, knowing the plan seemed to be working. 
You turn to face Jean, even with blood across your fingers and clothes, he still looked at you as if you were the prettiest woman he had ever met. “I did promise a date if we got out of this right?” He touches your cheek softly, fire blazing across the ruined zone. 
“You did but remember what I’ve said many times.” You paused as you urged him to think. 
“This isn’t a date Jean, we’re undercover.” He mocked giving a sign as you playfully pushed his arm. 
You see a Marleyan soldier in the distance, gun up ready to shoot you down. “Yeah, I do say that a lot, but move.” You shouted the last part, Jean in an instant moved to the other side finally seeing what you saw as you quickly shot the man down with the gun that had been at your side. 
“Look at you saving me.” He mutters softly, if you haven't seen the man, they’d have gotten shot, he knew he’d have to keep protecting you but even then, he knew you could handle those idiot Marleyans yourself. 
You both saw Connie and Sasha in an instant, Connie the first to say, “Jean, Y/n, we stalled the reinforcements.” 
Jean went to the ground checking on the thunder spears as he turned to face them both, “and the lights?” You questioned. 
“They’re all-in place.” Sasha spoke.
“Are things going well?” Connie questioned as both you and Jean looked at each other hesitantly. 
“For the time being.” Jean almost whispers out as you turn to face the two of them properly. You all see Mikasa sore through the air as Jean continued, “as long as we take that thing out in time. But who knows? Anything can happen at this point. What’s to come when this battle is over? For us to know, we have to survive.”
The feeling that the last part had been directed at you felt unsettling, you would survive. You had to survive and be with Jean if that was the last thing you ever did. Mikasa shot the War Hammer Titan in the eye as you went to grab some thunder spears yourself, it felt like everything had easily worked in your favour with minimum casualties. Another flash of yellow leading to Eren’s Attack titan being seen with the hard form of one of the Tybur’s ready to be eaten. 
“Come on Eren.” You softly whispered looking at the scene at hand, the way Eren was just about to eat it when the Jaw titan came out of nowhere. It seemed like you had spoken to soon, the four of you in shock as the Jaw titan bit into Eren’s neck until the blades hitting the enemy titan was heard from humanities greatest solider with murder on his mind. 
The sound of guns shooting through the air made you startle until both you and Jean swung through the air. Ready to shoot at the Cart titan, Jean moved through the air, but it seemed the guns had become too much as both of you landed in a building. “Y/n.” Jean shouted bringing you behind a table as you heard the gunshots occur, he held his body around you as you cowered into him before it stopped. “I’ve got you.”
Instead the whole building rumbling at the sight of another titan coming, both you and Jean looked out through the broken window seeing it, “the Beast Titan.” Both you and Jean flew out from the building seeing the two other men follow in suit, before those around you got killed as well. “Jean, we have to stop them both.”
“I know.” He mutters before flying into a building with you beside him, the sounds of rubble falling from the broken-down rocks that the Beast Titan had thrown at you all. “Y/n, you okay?”
“I’m fine.” You mutter from the ground, the sign of a much brighter light occurred, and you knew exactly who it was, Armin had transformed destroying the ships. Swinging through the air as Levi quickly dropped the Beast Titan in a matter of seconds. Distracting the Cart’s titans weapons seemed easy enough but with the mass amounts of weapons you couldn’t tell and that’s what allowed Sasha to easily shoot one of the men down. The Cart titan began moving towards Sasha, Jean in an instant appearing putting a spear right in the eye as you and the men watched before the command was heard. 
“Now! Fire!” It was all you all needed to shoot down the Cart titan in a matter of seconds, fire blazing as you had won against the titan. Flying away from the scene with ease with the other members of the Survey Corps, you stood on the roof watching the men shoot upwards towards you Jean and the rest of the group. The sight of the airship surrounding the air brought a relief to you, you could finally go home, leave Marley with a victory. 
“It's here.” Connie spoke just as you flew onto the roof where the rest of the guys were. 
“Yeah. Right on time.” You bent down to meet Jean, a hand on his shoulder as he gave a soft sign knowing that you were safe. 
A victory had been won, the gain of the War Hammer titan and Eren’s defeat of Reiner’s titan seemed to come with no cost to your friends. “I’ve run out of gas.” You whisper to Jean. 
“Grab onto me.” He holds your waist as you put your arm around his neck, both ready to finally go home. He grabs onto the ship, your body still on his own as he shouts, “protect the airship from the enemy below.”
You couldn’t do a lot in this state, but victory had occurred, and you could finally go home. Being helped up by Connie and Sasha you could finally feel safe, before helping Jean up himself. Both lying beside each other with a heavy breath, Jean finally spoke, “who’s here?”
“We’re still waiting for Squad Lima in the front.” Connie speaks watching how Jean's hand had moved to your own as the two came closer to you both. 
Sasha spoke of the death toll, before the excitement of Floch and the rest of the corps occurred over a successful victory. Jean whispered some words that were barely audible and that’s when he felt it, your arms wrapped around him, he kissed the side of your head allowing his arms to wrap around you as well. Connie brought Sasha along with him to elope himself onto the two of you, it felt just as it had in your first years as a Cadet. One happy family was brought together again. 
It brought a smile to your face, but with Jean there always seemed to be a problem, “that hurts, idiot. Don’t hug people with that lump of iron on.” He watched you all leave his side, but his arms almost missed your touch. 
“Jean don’t be mean.” You chuckle as Connie begins mocking Jean’s unsuccessful beard. Sasha began questioning about food as you began remembering the days when the three of you would have to hear Sasha go on about the next meal occurring. 
“We’re finally going home.” Jean mutters looking at you as he stands up to meet your gaze fully. He grabs your waist with an ease before giving you a soft kiss on your lips, he stopped caring about those around you both. Watching as melted right into his touch. “I love you.” He whispers through it all. 
You grab his hair to bring him down, his tongue flicking inside your own as it entangled with your own. Before finally taking a breath of your own away from him, Connie and Sasha’ eyes go wide. “I love you too.” Jean held your hand softly before you both turned to your two friends. 
“I fucking told you, didn’t I, you owe me meat when we get back.” Sasha happily spoke to Connie, as you both went beside them listening to the hurray’s of victory. 
Sasha had whispered something to Jean making the boy let go of your hand to shut the people up, “Hey, quiet down!” You moved to the side to let him past, feeling his hand on your back to make them all be quieter. 
You continued hearing the celebrations, Connie asking about Lobov as you were just glad that all your friends seemed to be safe. You stood on the other end of Jean beside the wall, leaning against it as you almost wished you could have the same innocence in this celebration that the others had. 
The sound of a child behind you made you all startle, seeing a girl with her gun raised, “Sasha.” You shouted but the bullet had already been shot right into her chest. You were unable to move, eyes widening as you easily caught her just before she was about to hit the ground. You slowly let her down, eyes widening at how blood seeped onto your clothes and hands, she stayed in your arms, her head against your knees as tears formed in your eyes. “Sasha, come on, you...you’ll make it, come on.” 
Just as Gabi was ready to shoot again, Jean put his gun out, but the other cadets got at her and the boy first. Connie came running towards Sasha, hand on her cheek, “stay with us!”
“Pl...please, don’t leave me.” You whispered, feeling her head become heavy on your, blood continuing to seep out.  Jean knelt beside you as he saw the tears drop down your face and fall down your own. “Sasha.” You wept out. 
She began speaking about food, her breath heavy as Connie pleaded for her to continue, with her last words being the one thing she truly loved, Connie watched as he got bandaged up, your body encased in blood as tears continued to drop down your face with no end. She was your best friend, and you couldn’t do anything, Jean could barely even look at her near dead state, his gaze ending up on the two children after Floch had called him.
You tried to suppress your tears, you did but every time you faced your friend, more and more formed. Your breathing irregular as it became harder and harder to even speak a word. The sound of the child's voice shouting about devils and other shit, made your tears turn into anger, in an instant you went right up to her face ready to punch her yourself. “Y/n.” Jean gave a soft whisper, “take them with me.” You continued to be filled with rage as you walked them down to where the rest of your friends were. 
Armin was the first to notice the blood across your body and the puffed-up eyes, but the two children had brought about more confusion instead. Their eyes widened at the sight of Zeke, you didn't care for their confusion, instead Levi asked who they were. Unable to speak, you let Jean speak until the very end, “this girl shot Sasha.” Tears welled up in your eyes again, “it...it doesn’t seem like she will make it…”
Armin and Mikasa ran past the two of you, you could barely move to run with them. Your legs felt heavy as you sobbed at your words, tears continuing to fall down your face. Standing in the corner, your hands at your eyes as you sobbed quietly, you prayed she would be okay. Hoped for a miracle to occur where everything was fine, and she never actually got shot. But that’s when you felt the blood on your clothes, the blood on your face and hands. The blood everywhere, Jean began shouting at Yelena, you ignored all sounds as all you wanted to hear was your crying.
The sound of the door opening made you move to see who it was, Connie appearing with a horrified face, as you and Jean both stared at him. “Sasha…” He paused making your head think she was okay, that she was alive, “she’s dead.”
Your whole life crumbled in an instant, you felt your knees go weak as you fell to the ground, Jean catching you as he felt with you, his arms around you. You sobbed into his shoulder, wailing with no end. Your friend was dead, the girl you had grown up gone in a matter of seconds, dead because of a stupid little girl. 
Jean’s eyes widened as tears formed his own eyes as he held you close. He stopped caring about the mission, stopped hearing others, only seeing you. He couldn’t let what had happened to Sasha occur to you, he couldn't. He would protect you with his last breath, and now with you in his arms a crying mess, he’d keep that promise he made to you when you had just met at 12, he’d keep the promise. Never wanting to see you cry like this ever again, because you were always going to be his, and he’d be damned to let anything happen to you. 
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go back to part two
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blackspoon99 · 3 years ago
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The Empty Hearse Pt. 3
Sherlock x Female! Reader
TW: Mentions of Death and Blood 
Part 1 
Part 2
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Monday - 12:26 pm
Meanwhile, you were meeting up with Mary for lunch to congratulate her on the engagement. A simple lunch with a friend seemed mundane compared to what had just happened. It was a welcome change from the ludicrousness of having an old friend literally come back from the dead. Mary truly had been a breath of fresh air since Sherlock had died left. She was one of the people who had helped lift you out of that dark place. You were selfishly thrilled that the engagement meant she had a more permanent future in your life as well as John’s.
You walked into the café to find her already waiting for you at a table near the window.
“Oh Mary, congratulations!” you cried as she pulled you into a hug. “You and John are just made for each other. I can’t imagine anyone better, truly, I can’t”
The lunch began with you and Mary discussing the early plans for the wedding, whether she should get married in May or June, possible venues, and other pleasantries. Mary really had wanted to know one thing from you since you arrived, and she was getting tired of waiting. Finally, she let out a groan and interrupted you just as you were giving your two cents about wedding flowers.
“I’m sorry Y/n, but enough stalling. I have to ask. How are you? You know, after Sherlock?”
“Mary, I love you, but can’t we just enjoy lunch without talking about him? He’s not my whole life you know… well not anymore.” You mumbled the last part.
“I know, it’s just that John used to talk about how happy you were back in those days. I’ve never brought it up before because I was respecting your boundaries but now that you have the chance to get even some of that happiness back…” She gently reached across the table and placed her hand on yours. “I just can’t keep my mouth shut anymore.”
“I don’t know Mary. How is anyone supposed to be okay after something like this? I don’t really know what to feel.” You looked up at your friend and your face softened. You knew Mary meant well. “Maybe you’re right Mary. I can’t deny I was happy during that time with John and Sherlock. But my life back then was…ugh I’m trying to find a better phrase than ‘downright mad’!”
Mary let out a light laugh. “I’ve only ever heard about it from John, but it seems like it. Why don’t you tell me a little about it? Please? John’s not one for details.”
It had always been hard to talk about the happy memories because of the nature of Sherlock’s death. Although you were the most confused about your emotions around Sherlock than you had ever been, it couldn’t hurt. “I suppose I could indulge you in a few stories”
You sat in the café and recounted some of your favorite memories with Sherlock. A particular favorite of yours was the first time John invited you over for tea after you’d met him through a mutual friend. Sherlock had burst through the door covered head to toe in blood carrying a harpoon. Later, you’d learn the blood wasn’t human, but it was still quite an eventful first meeting.
Mary watched as you spoke with more light in your eyes than she’d seen as long as she’d known you. This was a new person altogether. Mary decided then and there that she would do whatever she could to bring the happiness back to you. She tried to conceal a knowing smile as she realized she’d witnessed two people coming back to life in a single week.
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Monday 4:24 pm
Later that afternoon, you returned to work. Even though it didn’t pay too well, you loved working in a bookshop. The perks were many: the quiet, your favorite café being just across the street, and all the books you could want at a generous employee discount. Today, a new shipment of bestsellers had arrived, so you spent most of the day sorting, organizing, and reading the first chapters of some of the books while the owner wasn’t looking.
You were struggling with a full box of books when you heard the bell at the door ring. “Welcome! Let me know if I can help you find anything!” you yelled over your shoulder in the general direction of the customer. As you turned around, a corner of the enormous box clipped a bookshelf, and the box went tumbling sideways. Before the books could come clattering to the floor, someone caught the other side.
“Need some help?”
You looked up to see none other than Sherlock Holmes, large as life, dramatic wool coat and all.
“This isn’t space, Sherlock,” you said coolly, yanking the box back and moving around him.
Sherlock caught up to you and reached his arm out and leaned against the wall in front of you, blocking your path. “Have dinner with me”
“What?”
“Come on, have dinner with me, y/n.” He flashed you the smile that always made you melt
You sighed and placed the box on a nearby table. Your heart felt heavy all of the sudden. You knew you part of you still wanted to. You knew an even bigger part of you felt the same way for Sherlock as you always had. But whenever you looked at him, all the good memories of him were mixed in with the pain you’d felt when he left. You wanted to separate them, to forget everything and give in, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to.
“I can’t Sherlock, I’m sorry”
“Why not?”
“I told you I needed space. I need more time, Sherlock. You didn’t listen to me.”
“I don’t understand. I thought we were alright.”
Sherlock looked like a kicked puppy. Although his face was still calm, you had learned to see through his exterior years ago. You knew he didn’t fully understand why you were rejecting him. Suddenly you felt guilty.
“I know, and we are, it’s just-” You turned your head away as it had suddenly become difficult to meet his gaze. “You jumped off a building, Sherlock. Then you let me believe you were dead for 2 years. You don’t understand what that does to a person.”
Sherlock stood in silence. His features were slightly contorted. You could feel your face beginning to heat up. Why did this hurt so much?
“I still care about you, Sherlock. But as much as I want them to, things can’t just go back to the way they were. At least not yet.” You tried to give him a sympathetic smile. “I can’t forgive you right now, but I promise I will try.”
“Well, if not dinner, how about chips? I know a place.”
You laughed in spite of yourself “You never did know when to give up, did you?”
“Come on, I’ve got a terror threat on. No better time for chips, the world is ending.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about”
“Want to find out?”
He got you. “Fine. After my shift, I’ll come and meet you at Baker Street. Let’s give it a try.”
“Looking forward to it.” Sherlock turned to leave.
A warm feeling spread through your chest. Little by little, the good was coming back. It was more hope than you’d had in a while. You decided that you were looking forward to it too.
A/N: I indulged my own escapism fantasies and made y/n work in a bookstore. In another life…
The rest of this fic will probably be a mix of actual scenes from season 3 with some made-up ones like these
Taglist: @the-chaotic-cow @amoeebaa
(I also apparently didn’t know how to properly tag people on Tumblr. Sorry taglist friends it should work now)
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lesbianmarrow · 3 years ago
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your posts about legends of tomorrow are making me want to watch it, I was wondering if you know of a guide or anything? like the only dc shows I’ve seen any of are supergirl when I was like 14 lol and doom patrol so should I watch arrow first or at the same time or something? no pressure to answer, just thought I might as well ask :) I love your blog !
ohhhh i'm so glad my legendsposting is making ppl want to watch it hehe. the short answer is that you don't need to have watched the other shows, you can just start with season 1 episode 1 of legends of tomorrow and youll be able to follow along just fine.
the long answer is that several of the characters on legends of tomorrow debuted on either arrow or flash, and in some cases watching those episodes is helpful for understanding the characters on legends of tomorrow, and in other cases not so much. take ray palmer - though he technically was introduced in arrow season 3, his character is changed so much on legends (for the better, i might add) that it's really not necessary to watch his appearances on arrow. same goes for mick rory and leonard snart, although if you want the tragedy of snart to hit you with maximum force then you might want to watch his episodes of flash beforehand. jax and martin stein and kendra and carter all get introduced on flash/arrow but they get reintroduced at the beginning of legends so you really don't need to watch their episodes beforehand, and i would probably discourage you from doing so because they're not that interesting.
that leaves sara lance. although legends of tomorrow is an ensemble show, sara is the default protagonist on account of becoming the captain of the time ship and also being on the show for every season. she's also the character who is most fully established and developed before legends begins. sara is the younger sister of laurel lance, oliver (the arrow)'s ex-girlfriend. sara was believed to have drowned years ago, when she was on a fancy ship with oliver and was having an affair with him even though he was her sister's boyfriend at the time. however, after having been believed dead for years, she returns to starling city (where arrow takes place) and goes around wearing a costume and beating up criminals with the cool assassin skills she acquired in the past few years, but avoids her family because she doesn't want them to see what she's become.
early episodes of legends season 1 provide a good explanation of who sara is, where she's been, and where she is now. however, i do feel that watching some episodes of arrow is helpful to get a more full understanding of her character. it's tricky because she is in so many episodes of arrow, but i can try to narrow it down to just a few.
arrow 2x04: reveals that the mysterious female vigilante of starling city is sara, and that she is avoiding her family
arrow 2x05: reveals that sara gained her fighting skills through joining the league of assassins
arrow 2x13: establishes sara's bisexuality and also shows how sara wants to leave her dark past behind. insanely racist and homophobic/biphobic episode but worth watching for sara's sexy assassin ex-girlfriend nyssa
at the end of arrow 3x01 sara is murdered, and in 4x03 she is brought back to life (albeit with a new bloodlust due to having been resurrected by the lazarus pit, a detail which legends of tomorrow season 1 reckons with), but you don't actually need to watch those episodes. you could probably get by just reading the wiki summaries or watching select scenes. and then you can just start watching legends :)
ummmm i hope that's helpful lol. it really is up to you how much background arrowverse viewing you want to do before watching legends of tomorrow. like i said before, you can watch zero episodes of arrow or flash and still be able to follow what is happening on legends of tomorrow and understand the characters. but i do think sara's character arc on legends hits harder if you've seen where she's been before. i watched all of the arrow episodes featuring her because i'm ridiculous and a completionist and also because susanna thompson was in them playing oliver's mom and she's hot but you definitely do not need to do that. you can just watch the 3 that i've recommended and you should be good :)
if you have any more questions about starting legends of tomorrow, or about the characters' backgrounds or sara lance or anything please let me know and i will try to help as best i can! i love this show and these characters so much and i want people to enjoy them :D
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songbirdsingingthings · 4 years ago
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Luminescence - Armin Arlert x Reader
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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama
AOT Masterlist - Main Masterlist
WARNINGS: Season 3 & kinda 4 spoilers
Requested by Anonomys:
Hello,I hope you have a beautiful day! Could you please make an imagine of Armin and his s/o (either fem or g/n,whatever is more comfortable for you to write) about their night routine when they go to the sea and just relax in each other's presence?(everyone has already seen the sea for the first time) soft armin hours 24/7😭
I have been FEELING the Armin feels so much recently. This little blonde boy has just captured my heart. I hope you like it, I had so much fun writing it!
Word Count: 1.6K In and out the tide would go. All day, never ceasing, the ocean would move in and out in a steady rhythm. Sometimes the waves would be a little more rough or even shallow, but they would ebb and flow all the same. It became a comfort for you ever since the Scout Regiment had built the new headquarters by the ocean. There was always a buzz throughout the buildings; Eren doing this, the Marleyeans saying that. It all grew so effortlessly tiresome that by the end of the day you were fatigued, your shoulders were aching, and your head longed to be nestled into a soft feathered pillow. There was one thing, however, that you allowed to capture your attention rather than allow your brain to turn off and sleep. Armin Arlert. With his newly cut blonde hair and his mind brimming with knowledge, he had managed to weave his way into your heart and invade your senses, bringing with him all the things you never thought you could hold dear. 
“Y/N, you’re free to go. Just take that paperwork back with you and have that analysis done by tomorrow.” The recently appointed Commander Hange tells you, flashing a quick smile before sweeping up her own materials. Across from you Captain Levi had already stood up from his chair and was making his way out. Finally Jean, who was seated to your right, huffed a sigh.
“Preparations are never gonna end are they,” He laments, pinching his fingers to the bridge of his nose. You give him a pity smile and pat his shoulder.
“Not until Hange and Levi think that they’re good enough.” Jean rolls his eyes and stands from his chair, stretching his arms out.
“Alright, well, I’m outta here. See ya tomorrow.” He sighs. You wave your hand in farewell and gather the several papers and briefings into your arms and drag yourself out of the little conference room. You groaned as you felt your several aching limbs weighing you down and the pounding in your head. Making plans for the invasion of Marley were no joke and surely took a toll on your brain. In a decent amount of time, you make your way to the beach huts where you found Armin waiting your steps, his nose buried in a book. A light smile spreads across your face.
“How was your day?” You asked, causing the blonde to close his book and jog over to your side.
“About the same as yesterday. You?” He says softly, taking your hand in his and walking the both of you into the little hut. You simply hum and lean a bit more into Armin’s side, which told him basically everything he needed to know. You were tired, your brain was fried, and you wanted his company. With a content grin, he placed a kiss to the top of your head and had you sit on one of the chairs in the small living room. “How about I grab some dinner while you shower? I’m sure Niccolo won’t mind if I take a couple of plates from the dining hall so we can just eat here.” He suggests. His proposition practically makes your heart sing at the thought of having a quiet meal, just the two of you.
“I’d love that,” you say earnestly, placing your paperwork on the low table in front of you. “And even if Niccolo won’t be happy about it, he’ll be too distracted by Sasha to notice.” You quip, earning a laugh from Armin.
“Alright, I’ll be right back.” 
The shower you took was heavenly. Since everyone was having dinner, you had first dibs on the hot water and you basked in it. Your body smelled of a light lavender, every bit of grime was wiped off of your body, and even your hair was washed. The change of your clothes also helped to brighten your mood. Gone was the white button up and cargo jacket - you were all comfy in the light and airy sleepwear. The soft fabric seemed to kiss your skin in such a sweet way that you felt you could fall asleep right then and there. But, the savory smell of freshly cooked seafood worked its way into your senses causing your eyes to snap open.
“Dinner!” Armin called. You rushed your way towards him, and more importantly the food, in excitement.
“Looks yummy.” You say, helping him set down the trays of food and laying out the utensils. Dinner was a little quiet, since both of you were super hungry and dinner tasted fantastic.
“I read something rather curious,” Armin says, instantly gaining your full attention. He was always finding something new every time he read a book. Whether it was the genetic property of a fig leaf or certain characteristics of different types of rocks, you always found it interesting to hear.
“Do tell,” you urge, using your fork to bring the last little morsel of food into your mouth.
“It’s a sort of natural phenomenon called bioluminescence. Unlike a shooting star, though, it’s actually caused by microorganisms that light up when agitated.” You pause a bit when you hear his explanation, confusion flickering across your face.
“They light up?” You wonder. Armin nods to you in response. “But whenever we’ve been outside and in the ocean, I’ve never noticed anything lighting up.” Armin takes your response into consideration and leans back in his chair a bit. It takes a minute for his brain to connect all of the dots, trying to think of why no one has ever seen anything that was somewhat supernatural in the water before. Then, like a lightbulb going off in your head, you stand up suddenly causing Armin to jump a bit. “Because it was daytime!” You conclude, grabbing hold of Armin’s hand and ushering him out of the door. Neither of you bothered to slip your shoes on beforehand, so your bare feet met the somewhat chilled sand.
“I don’t even know if these kinds of organisms are native to our area though,” He says warily, squeezing your hand.
“It doesn’t hurt to look!” You say cheerily, all of the former exhaustion leaking from your body as the cool ocean breeze swished your clothes and hair. Finally, the two of you made it to the shoreline. The waves were constant as ever and reached just before your toes before pulling back. “You said they lit up when they were agitated, right?” You ask, looking to Armin who was standing by your side.
“Yeah,” he says as he rolls up his pants so they don’t get wet, “so any touch from us should make them glow.” With a deep breath and a cautious expression, you extend one of your feet over the water and very slowly let it sink into the water.
It was as if your touch was magical. The second your foot met the water, a bright blue light surrounded it. A gasp left your lips, immediately followed by a smile as you let your other foot go into the water, causing the space surrounding it to glow even more. You looked back to Armin who was currently marveling at the discovery, and he quickly joined you in the water. The deeper you got the more the water lit up. The light blue reflected across your faces, shading them in an azure hue.
“Armin…” You murmur, breathless at the sight, “it’s beautiful.” Wrapping an arm around your waist, he pulls you into his side. In front of you, he lets his hand fall into the ocean and drags it along, the water behind it leaving a brightly-lit path. “What was this called again?” You ask, looking up to his awestruck expression.
“Bio, uh, Bioluminescence,” He says, hesitant as he’s taking everything in. Finally, he looks back up to you and smiles widely. “Think of everything else that the ocean can hold.” He gushes. As you look at him and his infectious grin, only one adjective comes to mind. Delectable. You move your lips closer to his as you tug his collar down, bringing with it his head. He gets the message quickly. He raises his hand, now wet with seawater, to your cheek, his thumb swiping across your lips. You had no idea where he had gotten so confident - Armin was a gentle lover. Usually he preferred to cuddle rather than to engage in a makeout session and favored forehead kisses. Maybe he had seen someone do that or read it in a book, but you didn’t care - it made your heart race. His lips met yours passionately, wrapping both of his arms around your waist tightly and pressing you as close as possible to his chest.
“When this is all over,” Armin says breathlessly, then going back for a second kiss. “When this war is done.” Another kiss. “Let’s live on the beach. We can discover everything this great blue abyss has to offer.” One final kiss. You lean into his body as he embraces you, situating his chin on top of your head.
“That sounds lovely,” you hum, nestling your head into where his arm and torso meet. The two of you stay like this for a moment, basking in each other's warmth and presence before the chill of the air got to be a bit too cold for your liking.
“Should we go inside? Burrow under some blankets?” Armin asks, both of you wading your way out of the water. His hand is in yours again, swinging them a little. You give him a grin and nod as he leads you back into your and his shared hut.
“Bioluminescence, huh.” You say, still marveling at the glowing sight. You made your own discovery too. The closer you looked at Armin’s eyes, the more you saw that glow of the blue water. Both brimming with energy and both inviting. Their presences are equally calming to most, but to you, it was all him.
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mah-gah-lee · 4 years ago
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be stuck with you - owen patrick joyner x (reader)
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Word Count: 2303
Request: YES, from that sweet @idontcare011​, hope you’ll like it ! 
Summary:  you were late and a random boy comes into the elevator at the last minute. By some incredible force of fate (or pretty crappy weather) you find yourself stuck with the young man in this narrow cabin.
Warnings: panic attack and i think it’s all
disclaimer: I don't know Owen personally or what his life is like. All you will read in this "x reader" is from my imagination. My point is not to invade Owen's privacy. I don't want to offend him or offend anybody else in his life (family, potential girlfriend…I heard maybe he has one, so I don’t know but I don’t want to offend her).  All of this is not the reality
Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @standingtalllove​ @lukeys-giggle​ 
---
Thanks God, the quarantine was over and everyone could travel again. However, this stupid virus was not completely gone. Since the health crisis, you have adopted new habits, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. But today, you were in a hurry, so you entered the cabin eagerly. The conference you were due to attend was starting in no less than twenty minutes, and your itinerary had said it would take you 15 to get to your planned location. But with the weather conditions creeping in out there, you were sure you would need a lot longer than advertised. The automatic door was closing when a hand stepped in the way. A young blond man appeared and slipped into the elevator. You grumbled at the action, making you fall a few more seconds behind.
 "Sorry" the boy said through his mask.
 But you didn't answer.
 You had almost ten floors to go down together. You looked in your bag for a while to make sure you had your recorder when you felt an uncontrolled jerk. Your body no longer held you in balance but you caught yourself on a side of the elevator as the young man accompanying you tended to stabilize you. The lights flashed for a while and then went out. Your eyes widened as your heart pounded.
 "oh no no no no no no no. Anything except that, please!" you said, frantically pressing a random button.
 “I think we stuck…”
  "Oh yeah, what makes you think that?" The fact that we weren't moving or that the lights went out? "
 The boy threw up his hands in defense, eyes wide with so much animosity.
 "Hey, I'm in the same situation. You don't have to be aggressive."
You groaned before leaning against one of the elevator walls, peering into the face of your elevator failure companion. He had blond hair; his tips reached the base of his neck. But his expressive blue eyes - seeming constantly anxious - reminded you of someone, but you didn't know who. You have pushed the alarm button to warn the staff that there was someone in the lift.
 “Sorry, it’s seems to be a bad day. I’m late and now I’m stuck in an elevator with a perfect stranger”
 “I’m Owen…Not a stranger anymore”
 “I’m y/n, but yes, you still are”
 Owen laughed at your outspokenness and you gave him a polite smile before you were silent for several minutes.
 After what seemed like forever - when it was only ten minutes - you looked at your phone. No networks. For no obvious reason, when everything seemed to be going well, your heart started to beat faster. The thought of being stuck here forever crossed your mind and ached in your chest. The boy in front of you seemed so calm, which made you even more anxious.
 "How the hell can you stay so calm"
 "Oh ... I'm dying inside, just trying to play it cool"
 You can help with giving him an amused smile, he had been so frank. But this little interaction did not bring you back down from your state. You were breathing harder and harder, your chest was heaving quickly, it was nearly out of control. Owen seemed to notice that and give you a concerned look.
 "Panic attack?"
 You nodded briskly and Owen approached you cautiously. You saw his hands move towards you and your gaze expressed fear but you were paralyzed to do anything.
 "I'm going to take that damn mask off you already."
 Gently, he grabbed the fabric mask and pulled a little on it to lower it, he reproduced the gesture with his own mask.
 "Look at me, just me. There's nothing around us. Take a deep breath. I'll count to 3 and then you'll breathe out. Okay?"
 you nodded and when he shook his to urge you to breathe you took a deep breath, like he told you to.
 "1..2..3"
 You sighed, keeping your gaze on him. You started once more and when the blonde asked you if it was better, you were shaking your head negatively.
 "We're starting over but… take my hands and squeeze them as much as you need. Don't worry about grinding them."
 You grabbed his hands and restarted each step over, crushing his hands. But the contact with matter, your breath and Owen's comforting eyes, help you gently. A soothing silence has settled between you. Owen had helped you through this panic attack when you didn't even know each other. But you could feel deep inside that this man was good. Things seemed to calm down for you and you thanked Owen with a genuine smile.
 “You know how to deal with it ... Thanks for that.”
 “I also suffer from anxiety and panic attack. But the elevator is big enough here that it doesn't cause me one. Although I am a little anxious ...”
 “hey, breathe Owen.” You replied with a smirk
 Owen laughed and shook his head as if to say "that's a good one!" You look at the young man again, staring at him intently. It was very rude but you couldn't put a name on his face anymore. You were sure you knew him. Was he a distant cousin? A neighbor? A guy you knew in high school? Or just a guy you saw in an ad? Maybe the ad for these new cereals!
 “Excuse me but ... I've seen you somewhere before, haven't I?”
 “In an elevator, yeah!” he joked
 You laughed he was funny
 “No, I mean ... I feel like I've seen you before but I really can't remember where.”
 he sighed, as if a little tired of the question. You were surprised at his reaction but Owen answers you anyway
 “Yeah, I don't usually talk about that when I first meet a girl, especially when I'm stuck in an elevator with her but ... I'm an actor. I played some stuff on Nickelodeon and now I'm supposed to shoot season two of Julie and the phantoms, it's a Netflix series.”
 You watched him chattering, you nodded then wide your eyes. This is where you saw it! You had been relentlessly browsing the Netflix catalog and seeing the trailer for the series he told you about, but you had avoided it, the show seemed too childish for you. You first reaction was to make fun of him
 "Again, don't forget to breath Owen. But the way, I didn’t want to bother you with that question."
 He laughed lightly then smiled politely at you. You didn't seem to be a hysteric or a weird person. He had a deep feeling that you were a good person, which is why Owen seemed to relax.
 "It's just ... for a while, I thought you were a fan and I didn't want things to be weird all suddenly "
 "Oh don't worry I haven't seen any of your shows.” you said nonchalantly
 Owen burst into laughter. Once again, it was bafflingly sincere and he was really starting to enjoy being stuck in an elevator with you. You smiled, the energy in the cabin was positive that you almost forgot you were stuck with this young man for almost half an hour. You didn't know when you were going to be able to get out of here but you didn't really care anymore for the sole reason that you wanted to get to know this man. You tilted your head back, resting it against the elevator wall before sighing loudly. Seconds later, your gaze turned to Owen again.
 “So tell me about this series that you’re filming. What is it about?”
 "It's a pretty cool show actually. It's directed by Kenny Ortega, I don't know if you see who he is."
 "Hell yeah ... he's the choreographer of Dirty Dancing"
 "Himself ... So what about the storyboard ... It's about ..."
 And then, you listened to him to tell you about the series. Something like a '90s band dying of food poisoning from a bad hotdog and returning twenty-five years later as ghosts to help a super talented young girl to make music after her mom passed away. It made you laugh; it was probably the dumbest death on TV after Marion Cotillard's in Batman. He couldn't even stop anymore so that he sometimes swapped over a few anecdotes from the set. You even got a little exclusive on season two before Owen stopped in the middle of a sentence.
 "Sorry, I got a little carried away. But when you like your job, it's pretty easy to talk about it."
 You smiled at him and Owen started asking you questions, about your work, your life, your passions and you were giving him back. The conversation was fluid, natural You learned that he was German, that his mother tongue was German until he was about four years old, that he had a sister and had lived with his parents until that year when he moved into his own apartment. Getting to know Owen was really nice and you could feel your stomach twist every time he smiled. He was a boy full of humor but also sarcasm.
 You've been stuck with Owen for an hour and a half now. You ended up sitting on the floor of the elevator. Boredom was really starting to take hold of you. You rummaged through your bag for something, anything. An idea crossed your mind when you saw the small block of post-it notes.
 "Owen"
 "hmm?"
 "How would you like to play a game?"
 "What kind of game do you want to play here?"
 "Who am I?"
 "Obviously you are y/n" he tells you with a smirk.
 You laughed before pulling out your notepad and a pencil to show it to the blonde. He claimed to have understood your intention, which made you smile even more. Of course, Owen knew the game you wanted to play. He nodded, and you'd write a celebrity's name on a sticky note before sticking it on your new friend's forehead. He did the same for you. Fortunately, your two post-its are well stuck. Owen spoke
 "I start: am I a man?"
 "Obviously" you say with a smirk, responding to the blonde's previous joke.
 Owen laughed, catching the tone of your voice.
 “But how funny she is! Is my character a man?” He continued.
 You did several parts. You even teased him when he made you guess Julie and the phantoms, because the game didn't stop only with characters, celebrities but also series, movies, musicals. You were laughing when there was another shake, stronger than the first, the lights came back on and you couldn't help but be disappointed. You looked at Owen and he seemed to have the same gaze as yours. The doors barely opened and you found the hotel staff, patiently waiting to ask if you needed medical assistance, while also offering you a bottle of water. You left the elevator car, hurriedly stuffing the many post-its into your bag. You didn't really know how to act with the blond guy next to you. You had formed a little bubble in that enclosed space and now it seemed to have burst. For some strange reason, it made you sad. Now is the time to part ways with your new friend.
 “well, good-goodbye, it was nice to meet you.”
 you rushed into the hotel lobby a little more, but Owen seemed to catch up with you, his long legs only having to take a few strides.
 "wait, y/n!"
 You turned to him, you could see the embarrassment on his cheeks, asking with a frown what was the cause.
 "I think you let that go"
 "No, I don't"
 You looked at the crumpled white paper. It even looked like a piece of chewing gum. And at first glance, Owen's perfectly white teeth were chewing one.
 "I think you did."
 He handed you the paper with a determination that convinces you. You bite your lip as you look at the series of numbers on the packaging: a phone number. His telephone number. Owen swallowed hard as he looked at you. His eyes never leaving your lips.
 "It's pretty spontaneous of me but ... I won't start filming until next week. I hope you're still here the day after tomorrow ... because I would really like to ask you to come have a drink with me ... "
 Your cheeks turned red, did he really just ask you for a date? You did not know what to answer. The urge to say yes was so present but you were afraid to rush. Perhaps humor was your only defense
 "it depends"
 "about what?"
 "Does this appointment include a blocking session in an elevator? This is the only way it works"
 Owen laughed before giving you a genuine smile, showing his perfectly aligned white teeth. God, what a beautiful man.
 "I can try to fix this and find a faulty elevator."
 "So expect a text from me"
 You smiled back at him and gave him a wink before turning on your heels. Owen's heart skipped a beat and he when he arrived several hours late in the hairdressing section of the set, Charlie laughed at him saying that he had never seen him so happy to have a haircut. hair. But in reality, the blond was only waiting for one thing, and that was to receive a message from you, which arrived in a second.
 (y/n) text : "After being stuck in an elevator, here I am stuck in traffic ... Are you sure you want a date with me, you might just end up stuck with me?"
 Owen couldn't help but smile broadly.
 Owen text : "I'm sure. I'd love to even be stuck with you (again).”
(y/n) text : “Fine, ghost boy. See you soon”
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undyingskies · 4 years ago
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Just Fine
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Request: yes; “hii, could you maybe write an owen imagine where fans take pictures of his gf kissing a guy on the street so there is rumors and of course owen's pissed, but she was actually filming a scene so everything was fake please”
A/N: I hope you guys enjoy, I have a decent amount of requests I am working through! As well as a two part fic for Owen, they are going to take some time so if you requested please be patient with me! I promise I am working on them!
Warning: None
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Your show, Charmed, season 3 was renewed at the same time as season 2 of Julie and The Phantoms. Which means you and your boyfriend Owen were both incredibly busy filming in two different time zones. You guys tried your best to talk when you were free and keep each other updated with what was going on in your shows, but it got more difficult as time went on.
You loved your boyfriend and you missed him but between your two schedules you felt like you were putting more effort in talking to him than he was you. You guys actually haven’t talked in a few days and you were the last one to text and call him.
You get he was busy, you were too, but it still felt like he wasn’t putting even a little effort into trying to talk to you.
So here you are today, reading lines sitting in your makeup chair getting ready for today’s scenes. This season they introduced a new character to play your love interest and today was the big scene between the two of you.
You were nervous, really nervous. Charmed was your first ever show that you booked and so far you’ve had no love interest so you didn’t have scenes like the one today. You were a professional and you knew you could do it but still you were nervous. It would be nice to tell your boyfriend about it, Owen is usually really good at calming your nerves but he just seems to be ignoring you.
“Y/N it’s your time to shine, let’s go!” You hear Tami your director yell.
You sigh at her words, stand up and shake your hands at your side; before you walk onto the street for your scene.
You think to yourself, you’ve got this, it’s only one scene. You’ve done plenty of other scenes in the past that have made you nervous before so it’s okay. It’s just why did this one feel different?
“Alright, you guys ready?” You hear Tami yell again.
Both you and Jake, your love interest, nod yes and get in your places.
“Okay, awesome. We’re gonna take it from the spot where you guys are talking about how you feel and you’re walking to Lily’s apartment” Tami tells the two of you.
She walks back to the camera and sits in her chair. Everyone on set quiets down as the lights flash, and you see her hands counting down from three to one.
Then one hits, that’s your cue.
“You know Steven, you really didn’t have to walk me back to my apartment.” You tell him and turn to smile at him, placing a hand on his arm.
“I know Lily, you can totally handle yourself but it was an excuse to spend more time with you.” He tells you.
You respond with a smile. The two of your characters walking through the street making small talk with one another.
Until the two of you reach the destination of where your two characters were going. This is when it’s gonna happen, just take a deep breath and it’ll be okay.
You stop and turn to look at Jake, who’s character is Steven. You grab one of his hands and say,
“Well thanks again Steven, I appreciate it. I liked having the extra time with you too.”
He smiles back at you and takes a step towards you. He places a hand on your cheek and you lean into it slightly.
“Me too.” He whispers out. You both just look at each other smiling and that’s when he leans in. The two of yours lips meeting for a kiss.
You two stay standing with your lips interlocked for a few more seconds until you hear Tami yell, “Cut.” At her words the two of you step apart.
“That was great the two of you really, perfect! Could have not gone better!” She tells the both of you. You send her a small smile.
You think to yourself that really wasn’t that bad, your nerves no longer getting the best of you. You grab your things and make your way to your trailer; it was a long morning and a nap wouldn’t hurt.
Upon making it to your trailer, you fling yourself  onto the bed you have in there. Almost immediately falling asleep, face first in your pillows, letting slumber take over you.
You have no idea how long you had been asleep for but the constant buzzing of your phone on your bed besides you wakes you up.
Rubbing the sleep out of your eye, you reach over to grab your phone. You squint at the sudden bright light from your phone reading the few messages you have. One catches your attention first. It’s from Owen, it reads.
“You should really check twitter. Thanks.”
You think to yourself that’s a lot of periods and does not seem good. You can’t help but panic a little that’s not a normal text from Owen, especially after not talking for a few days.
You close the message app and quickly open the twitter app. It doesn’t take long in your scrolling for you to stumble upon what seems to have upset your boyfriend.
It was pictures of you and Jake kissing in front of the building. The photos don’t show the cast or crew filming the scene, it really is just the two of you. Your heart picks up at the sight of the photo, it doesn’t look good. How did someone get this photo and how did it blow up so fast? You think to yourself, right now that doesn’t matter though. Owen is what matters.
You quickly call Owen wanting to explain to him the reality behind it. Your phone rings twice then it gets sent to voicemail. You scrunch your eyebrows and call him again, voicemail again. You call again and again, and then finally you get an answer.
“What do you want Y/N?” You hear Owen snap at you.
“I wanted to call you to explain what that photo was as I can only assume that’s why you’re so upset.” You tell him, trying to stay as calm as possible.
“Oh what you could only assume is what I’m upset by?? I actually loved seeing photos of MY girlfriend kissing another guy. It was actually really great getting to see that and hear about it from Charlie.” Owen snaps again.
“You don’t have to be so rude about it Owen, it’s not what it looks like. That’s Jake, not some random guy! It was for-“ He cuts you off.
“Oh great to know it wasn’t some random guy. You know what I really don’t feel like talking to you right now. I’ve got to go.” He says quickly trying to get you off the phone fast.
“You better stop that Joyner and listen to me for one second.” The tone of your voice making him stop his movements to end the call. He doesn’t say anything so you take that as your cue.
“First of all that’s Jake, my co-star, and that was a scene for our show. He is playing my character’s love interest actually.” Your frustration building as you take to him. “And you would know that if you took any time to actually talk to me instead of ignoring me for days on end. You don’t put any effort into this like I do, I know what’s going on in your scenes. I bet you could not tell me one thing that’s going on in mine!”
Your met with silence.
“Ya that’s what I thought Owen, so you know what goodbye, have fun learning about my show through the internet.” You tell him before you hang up, not letting him get another word in.
Tears slip from your eyes as you gather your things to go home. You checked the time and it was 6 PM. Your nap was a lot longer than you thought but you could go home now, they told you if they didn’t get you by 5, they wouldn’t need you for the rest of the day.
Tears continue to cloud your vision as you drive through the streets of LA to your apartment. You have music playing quietly during your drive hoping it would help calm you down but the tears still fall.
You feel bad, guilty even. If you were in Owen’s shoes and saw photos like that on the internet with no context you would be just as mad and hurt by it. You shouldn’t have reacted that way, you should have stayed calm but he didn’t give you the time to explain. Your hurt from not talking to him for days and feeling like he was ignoring you just built up and took over.
Once you reach your apartment you quickly shuffle into the building and into your unit. You didn’t want to be far from your bed much longer, the comfort of it calling you. You quickly strip from your clothes and into you pajamas, which was just underwear and one of Owen’s shirts.
You crawl into bed and check your phone one last time, nothing. No notifications, absolutely nothing. You lock it and put it on its charger. You settle into your pillows and pull the sheets over you, covering half of your face, letting sleep take over you and a few more tears slipping from your eyes.
You don’t know how long you were asleep for but a loud banging woke up you, déjà vu. The pounds don’t stop as you turn over and check the time on your phone. It read 6:02 AM. A lot earlier than you would have liked to be woken up.
You stretch and pull your shirt down to cover your thighs. You let your feet lead you to the door where the banging continued. You open the door not even thinking twice, getting ready to yell at whoever decided it was a good time to wake you up this early.
You stop dead in your tracks, the words lost in your throat, your mouth just hanging open slightly. Your face to face with Owen.
He doesn’t say a word, he just pushes past you to get into your apartment. Your left standing at your door alone, still shocked and confused.
“You know it’s probably a good idea to close the door Y/N, especially with the whole no pants thing going on.” Owen says facing you.
You blush slightly at his words, closing the door and tugging the shirt down hoping it would cover more of your skin. It’s not like it’s nothing he’s seen before but his gaze on you right now, left you feeling vulnerable.
“What are you doing here O?” You ask him, walking into the living room and going to sit on your couch. Owen follows your lead.
It’s so quiet, and the atmosphere around the two of you is awkward. It was never like this between you and Owen, neither of you liked it very much.
Owen sits next to you, leaving space between the two of you so he could turn to face you, putting one of his legs on the couch.
“Soooo...” You trail off hoping to start some type of conversation, anything was better than the silence.
“I didn’t like the way we left off on that conversation, both of us obviously hurt and it didn’t feel like something that should have been fixed over the phone.” He tells you, one of his hands grabbing onto yours. “I jumped on the first plane after that phone call, I needed to see you.”
“I-okay...” You say, taking your hand from his to rub your eyes and yawning. The mix of exhaustion and confusion not helping you put together words. You place your hand on his again.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I should have given you a chance to explain or even say something before I got so frustrated. I should have let you talk before trying to hang up on you immediately. I just, it was really hard seeing those photos and knowing nothing.” He tells you, leaning forward a little more. He’s able to catch your gaze.
“No I know, I’m sorry too O. I know I overreacted a bit just yelling and hanging up on you. It was just you called and yelled without giving me a chance to really speak, and that was the first time we’ve spoken in days. I let my own frustration get to me.” You tell him.
“If it was the other way around, I would reacted similarly too. I don’t even want to think how I would feel seeing a photo of you kissing a girl with no context.”
Owen lets go of your hand to push some hair out of your face. He lets his hand cup your cheek after.
“I think we both were upset and instead of talking it out we just took it out on each other instead.” You nod your head agreeing with him.
“You know I’ve missed you love, it’s not easy being so far away.”
“I know Owen, that’s why I was so upset. I feel like whenever I have the chance I’m facetiming you or texting you just to give us some time to be together in some way, but it never felt reciprocated. I know you’re busy, you know out of anyone, I understand that. But baby, I stopped trying and we didn’t talk for 4 days before yesterday.” You’re able to get all of that out without tears falling and you feel proud of yourself.
Owen’s looking at you as you tell him those things. He sees you gulping a little harder and the glaze over your eyes, he knows you’re trying not to cry. He still has his hand cupping your cheek.
“I know Y/N, I want you to know how sorry I am about that. We’re both busy but it’s not okay that I but you on the back burner just because I know you understand. It just work has gotten extra busy it feels like lately and then I’m exhausted, I know that’s not a good excuse but it was never my intention to make you feel not important or like I don’t care about what you have going on.” The tears finally slip from your eyes. His fingers brushing them away as they fall.
He pulls you closer and into his chest to hold you. It breaks his heart seeing you like this and knowing it was because of him.
“I get it O; I miss you so much and sometimes it gets super hard. All I wanted to do was tell you about what was happening in my scenes this week, especially because I was so nervous to do it.”
“I miss you too and completely understand that. You know how much I love to hear about what you’ve got going on in your scenes, especially this week’s scene I would have liked to know that one.” He tells you with a small laugh as his hands rub your back. You lean back a little and leave a small slap on his chest, a small chuckle leaving you as well.
“Trust me I would have liked you knowing what was going on too. I would have liked that a lot more than you finding out over the internet.” You tell him.
“It did get you here though, so maybe it wasn’t so bad.” You offer him with a laugh, him reciprocating.
“Oh whatever Y/L/N.” He says before leaning in to give you a kiss. Your lips meeting his, you melt into the kiss. Oh how you’ve missed your boyfriend and the feeling of his lips on yours.
You smile as the two of you break apart.
“We good now?” He asks you.
“Yes, we’re good now.” You tell him with a smile.
“Also I promise no more ignoring and I will put more effort in. I wanna know what you’ve got going on, that way I can pretend I’m here with you and the distance doesn’t seem so bad.”
You lean into his chest at his words, his arms wrapping around you and squeezes your hips.
“As long as we’re both in this together O, it’ll all be just fine.”
His lips meet yours for another sweet kiss. You lay happily in each other’s arms for the next few hours until you had to go to set. You leave for set Owen in tow, hand in yours, as you update him on everything you’ve got going on and answering all his questions. Both of you happier than ever.
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aangs-surrounding-love · 4 years ago
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My take on Aang’s trauma:
Alrighty everyone this is going to be a long one. I’ll do my best to only include the more important parts of Aang’s actions that I think reflect his trauma. Also, moments that I think reflect his trauma. Actually, I don’t really know if I can directly categorize this post but let’s just say this is very Aang-centric and somewhat of Aang-defense. Aang-protection? Feh-I’ll start.
In season 1 episode 1: The Boy In The Iceberg we see that Aang is briefly told that no one has seen an airbender in 100 years. We can see a tiny bit of shock but what happens next is that the topic is dissed and they move on. Aang doesn’t yet know what happened. But that small little face of shock and confusion always gets me.
Season 1 Episode 2: When Aang finds out he was stuck for 100 years, a war broke out, and his people were very likely killed, he looks on the bright side and looks to Katara saying, “I did get to meet you.”
When they find out he’s the avatar everyone is like, no wayyyy. He still offers himself up to protect the tribe.
Why didn’t he tell them? “Because I never wanted to be” is 100% a valid answer. He was scared. He thought that they’d push him away as his friends did at the temple. Or maybe send him away like the leaders wanted to do to him. (Although Sokka did banish Aang, it wasn’t because of his title and because he put the tribe at risk so it doesn’t exactly count)
Season 1 episode 3: The Southern Airtemple. “We’re home, buddy. We’re home.” Aang says to Appa. Something about this seems like a nostalgic moment. He left on bad terms and now he’s back seeing it 100 years later, hopeful.
He looks for all the old things that made him happy. Air ball, Gyatso’s statue, searching for people. (The little fruit pie flash-back)
He goes to the statue room and looks for answers. He meets Momo. However, when Aang and Sokka start chasing Momo I see Aang tearing up when he’s jumping down the cliffside. My take on this isn’t because he’s falling down at such a velocity that he starts crying, my take is that it’s because it’s his first chance to reveal that there’s hope that some of the Air Nation survived and that Aang isn’t alone.
Aang discovers Gyatso’s skeleton and goes into the Avatar State. His major hopes have been diminished.
He says to Momo, “You, me, and Appa, we’re that’s left of this place now. We have to stick together.” It’s so sad. They’re the only parts of the Air Nation that are alive. They don’t have anything left of the air nation and that’s why they need each other; they need to stay together.
At the closing of the episode, we see Aang and Momo flying away from the temple on Appa. Aang's face is so somber like he’s watching his happy memories diminish. Like the nostalgia being wiped away directly in front of him.
Season 1 Episode 5: The King of Omashu. This one is more of fine detail, but to me, it’s still very important and needs to be mentioned more. At the end of the episode, when Aang figures out it was Bumi, his old friend, you can see little tears welling in his eyelids. My understanding makes me think that Aang was tearing up because he sees someone who isn’t dead. The tears are of relief because to Aang, maybe not everyone is gone. His childhood isn’t over, Aang can still be a kid. Because the reason Gyatso was protecting Aang was that he wanted Aang to have a childhood. Although it was stripped away, this gave Aang another chance to have fun intentionally. Another sign that his childhood isn’t completely over.
Season 1 episodes 7-8: Winter Solstice Part 1: The Spirit World and Winter Solstice Part 2: Avatar Roku. In the first part, we meet a village. Aang tries to help them by saying, “I have to try” my legendary overthinking and analysis makes me believe that Aang truly wants to help these people already, but also that as the Avatar he wants to make up for the lost time he was stuck. He feels the burden he afflicted on the world.
His ability to relate to Hei Bai. Aang felt terrible about the woods and trees that were burnt down. It’s the empathy the made Hei Bai Aang’s friend. The compassion that Aang brings is truly amazing.
Part 2: Avatar Roku. Okay, so he wants to go alone because he doesn’t want Katara or Sokka to get hurt. My take on this is not only are they friends, but he also doesn’t want another one of his actions affecting the casualties of the war.
Season 1 Episode 12: The Storm. This episode is great. We get his backstory. We see why he ran away. We see what causes him to get stuck. And we get to see him upset. We see his guilt. “My people needed me, and I wasn’t there to help.” Followed by, “the WORLD needed me, and I wasn’t there to help.”
“How could they do that to me? They wanted to take away everything I knew and everyone I’ve ever loved!” This quote digs deep. Not only is Aang angry, but this takes a play on how he reacts to people and how he responds to people. He wanted to be a normal kid. (I’ll bring this back later)
Earlier in this episode, there’s this fisherman who was blaming him, so I’m in the cave Aang says, “the fisherman was right. I DID turn my back on the world.” He knows what he did was wrong and he saw the consequences. He ran away, and now that he faced the consequences, he actively wants to change and become better. He’s learning from his actions.
Season 1 episode 13: The Blue Spirt. Admiral Zhao says to Aang, “tell me, how does it feel to be the only airbender left? Do you miss your people?�� Not only is this said in such a vile, evil way, we see Aang’s face which changes from being angry and upset with Adm. Zhao, we see that it changes to ashamed and guilt ridden. Actually, it kinda looks like Aang wanted to talk back to him, but he needed a moment. He needed that moment to take in what Zhao said.
Aang finds out that the Blue Spirit (the person wearing the mask) is Zuko. Aang was going to leave him there, to get caught by Admiral Zhao, but Aang instead takes him to safety. And may I mention that Aang made him a little leaf bed? Anyway, he stays with Zuko until he wakes up. Aang was talking about they could be friends and that one of his best friends was from the Fire Nation. I think not leaving Zuko behind shows both how Aang does his best to no longer leave people behind and to try to bring the best out of Zuko.
Season 1 episode 15: Bato of the Water Tribe. Aang takes the map to guide them to Hakoda for himself out of fear that Sokka and Katara would leave him. Though it was a bad decision, the thing is he didn’t think he could handle being alone. He was alone enough as it is. His people were gone and his friends (excluding Bumi) were gone or dead as well. So having to trek to the NWT alone would be a continuous reflection of his actions and would likely send him down on a more hateful path.
Season 1 Episode 16: The Deserter. Aang wants to learn the elements as fast as possible, even if it means doing it irregularly. He also is unsure whether he’ll ever get the chance to learn firebending again after he learns the other elements. So he starts to learn firebending from Jeong Jeong. He wants to make up for lost time which is another reason for this decision.
He hurts Katara and becomes afraid of handling fire and vows to be more careful with it in the future. (I will bring this up again later)
Season 1 Episode 17: The Northern Air temple. Aang sees that the northern Air temple became inhabited by people and they built pipes and other things that ruined the temple. They destroyed the temple and there wasn’t anything left that remained the same. When he saw the wrecking ball machine, he rightfully knocked it away for “destroying something sacred”. It was the last place that remained unaffected by modernization and industrialization then it was knocked over, right in front of him. So my take on this is a question within itself: if you loved something that was deeply close to you like a relic, something important, something that’s the only thing left of your family, got destroyed right in front of you, how would you feel? The answer would probably be pretty freaking upset.
Season 1 episode 19: The Siege of the North: part 1. Starting with part 1, the fire nation comes to the northern water tribe and the fight begins. Before the fight begins, Aang says, “I wasn’t there when the Fire Nation attacked my people. I’m going to make a difference this time.” He wants what’s best for the world, he’s going to stay. He isn’t going to run this time, he’s going to fight of the sake for the world, for the sake of the future. Still, the look on his face when he says that, it’s guilt plastered all over. The guilt is also shown with a determination to make his difference.
Aang flies out on Appa to try to prevent further damage by taking out a few ships. He returns around sunset, exhausted and somewhat defeated. He says, “I’m just one kid” then buries his face in between his legs. He’s right, he is one kid. The avatar, yes, a kid, yes. I have a feeling he’d be thinking about how massively overwhelmed his people were when the Fire Nation attacked. With the power of 500 suns, it would be disastrous. And with this, there are hundreds of ships in that fleet with hundreds more men, ready to fight.
Season 1 episode 20: The Siege of the North: Part 2. Aang returns to the spirit oasis and enters the avatar state saying, “No... It’s not over” he won’t give up on the tribe. He won’t let the Fire Nation win. Still, he isn’t running away, he chose to return to the Spirit Oasis to try to save the spirits.
Season 2 episode 1: The Avatar State. Aang’s told by General Fung that he could defeat the Fire Nation using the Avatar State. Gen. Fung manipulates Aang using Aang’s own guilt and faults to get him to try to train to turn the Avatar State on. Gen. Fung shows Aang the wounded to get him to join.
Initially, Aang doesn’t join. But he changes his mind upon further debate. During the training (well after a day of training) Katara and Aang have a long conversation about it. First, Katara tries to convince him to stop training to turn the Avatar State on but Aang refuses. Katara says, “I don’t understand.” Aang replied, “No, you don’t. Every day, more and more people die. I’m already 100 years late.” Aang’s own guilt is driving him to pursue helping everyone. Even though it wasn’t the right decision, he realizes that he needs to try everything he can to save the world.
Season 2 Episode 3: Return to Omashu. I already did my take away on Aang’s trauma for “The King of Omashu” but this will make my point stronger. Anyway, to the point. Aang goes to Bumi to learn earthbending. His old friend, the mad genius. When he arrives at Omashu, Katara, Sokka, and Aang see that Omashu was conquered by the Fire Nation. Despite Sokka trying to convince Aang to turn around, saying that there are other teachers, Aang shuts both of them down. He wants to rescue Bumi. Not only because he’s his best friend, but I think it’s the added reasons of impending guilt that he receives from leaving the Air Nation to fight on their own, and always wanting to protect his friends.
Season 2 episode 10: The Library. By goodness. Beginning of the episode. Aang is “making an orchestra”. My little headcanon is that all airbenders play an instrument and Aang chose the flute. Anyway, in this headcanon, the air nomads had a band that Aang loved to participate in. Just a little reminder he can’t be in a band surrounded by his people and wanted to make an orchestra on his own to feel happy like he would if he was around the Air Nomads.
Professor Zei calling Aang a relic. Just... terrible. That’s what he, his people, his culture surmounted to. Only a relic. An episode in time.
“We had no choice. Please. We’re desperate to protect the people we love.” This is what Aang says to Wan Shi Tong after the spirit’s anger about using the library to win a war. Aang is trying to protect the world and whoever he has left in the world. His people died. His friends before the war excluding Bumi are dead. Now all he has are his current friends, Appa, and Momo. That’s all he has left and he’s going to do anything to protect them.
Appa gets taken away. That’s it. They exit the sinking library. “Where’s Appa?” Aang asks Toph in confusion. As Toph shakes her head, humming, “mmm-mmm” Aang’s face looks so scared, so hurt. This is his best friend, his life partner to the death. His closest friend, even before the war. They have an inseparable bond and then Appa’s taken away from Aang. Aang doesn’t know if he’s alright, one of the three surviving members of the Air Nomads.
Season 2 Episode 11: The Desert. Aang is so hurt that he lashes out at Toph. His best friend and life partner were stripped from him. I could feel the pain and anger in his voice.
“I’m going to find Appa.” Aang flies away to search on his glider. Again, one of the last surviving members of the Air Nomads is gone. I will elaborate in others.
“APPA!” He calls out. He begins to tear up but sucks it down. “No... No!!!” He creates the gush of air at the ground, making the sand rise up. The complete anger is apparent.
“I’m sorry, OK? it’s a desert cloud. I did all I could.” Aang is left angry and lashes out at everyone. Aang blames Toph at first but it goes deeper than that. If Aang hadn’t gone inside, Appa could’ve been with him. Everyone could’ve gotten out of the desert.
Momo gets carried by a Buzzard-wasp. “I’m not losing anyone else out here.” If Momo was taken away that makes Aang the only one left. He’d be completely alone. And he would only have himself to blame. If he hadn’t run away... if he hadn’t gone inside the library... if he hadn’t chased and knocked the buzzard wasp down. But luckily, Aang gets Momo back.
Aang finds out that the sand benders he encountered were the ones who stole Appa. He acts appropriately and questions them. He wrecks a sand sailer. He wants his bison back. He needs Appa back.
“You muzzled Appa?!” He enters the avatar state in rage. Appa was much more than a pet. Appa is Aang’s best friend. His life partner. His link to his people. Hearing that Appa was treated like an uncontrollable, rabid animal isn’t alright with him. His people were already killed. So hearing that Appa could be in the same situation or worse hurts.
“I traded him with some merchants.” Trading him. Like property. Appa is living, breathing, he isn’t property. Then Appa was set to be sold. Sold.
Season 2, Episode 12: The Serpents Pass. Aang is trying to remain emotionless after Appa was taken away. He doesn’t want to grieve. He doesn’t want to feel. He wants the war to end and be done. He wants Appa back of course, but I think Aang feels that his emotions are going to prevent progress. So when Suki mentions how Appa wasn’t there, Aang was the first to look away. It hurts him immensely.
“Are you doing okay?” Suki asks Aang. At first, Aang looks to Suki and then to Katara, Sokka, and Toph. The view switches back to Aang where he says harshly, “I’m doing fine. Would everybody stop worrying about me?” Aang doesn’t want to be reminded further that -in his mind- that he failed.
“And now it’s like you don’t care about him at all,” Katara states. Katara continues about how worried she is for Aang and offers him a hug. He steadily rejects, “thanks for your concern, Katara.” He walks away. He is so hurt that he doesn’t want to feel. He doesn’t want to be human.
“But you’ve made me feel hopeful again.” It doesn’t mean he’ll stop himself from blaming himself, but it means Aang will return to being hopeful and optimistic.
Season 2 episode 13: The Drill. It’s towards the end where Aang gives the final blow, it’s not really about the moment but the music. Aang is determined to save the world. Even though he’s going through in an incredibly tough time, he’s not going to give up and he’s going to save Ba Sing Se. The music displays this perfectly also while the French Horns add Aang’s musical theme in the background.
Season two, episode 15. The tales of Ba Sing Se. Aang creates a Zoo after seeing all the caged up animals. I think that Aang did this because it reminded Aang what predicament Appa could be in. All chained up. Of course, above anything else, Aang goes to the Zoo in the first place to look for Appa. But I think Aang wanted to release the animals into a better space because Aang wanted to help them, knowing at least Appa would want a sense of freedom. Also because Aang could see that the animals were unhappy.
Season 2 episode 16: Appa’s Lost Days. Sorry but Aang sleeps with the bison whistle right next to him. Meaning, the first thing he wakes up to is the whistle. So right away, Aang is reminded that he needs to get Appa back no matter what.
Season 2 Episode 17: Lake Logoai. Weakly, Jet says, “I’m sorry, Aang.” Aang replies, “Don’t be.” Aang is already worried. But after it's inferred that Aang was going to die by Toph’s, “He’s lying,” is another reminder to Aang that having relations to other people puts them in danger. And that Aang might think that he is another cause for Jet’s death. It’s a big rolel, accounting for every death and injury at Aang’s stake.
Reuniting was Appa, finally. The tears, the relief. Appa will forever be his best friend. To death. A weight was definitely released from his chest.
Season 2 episode 18: The Earth King. Aang wants to tell the Earth King the truth. With Appa back, it’s hoped that things could turn out well for Aang. And a chance the war could end sooner. For the fatalities to stop.
Season 2 episode 19: The guru. “What do you blame yourself for?” Aang responds, “I ran away. I hurt all those people.” He holds himself accountable that he wasn’t there. That he was the cause of injury. Even though he forgave himself doesn’t mean he thinks about it. That’s the thing about guilt. It reoccurs no matter if you try to bury it. Or even forgive yourself, it still shows up.
“Lay all your grief out in front of you.” Aang pictures the whole Air Nation with Gyatso in the front. He’s trying to save the word to not leave their names, their culture in vain. He lost everyone.
Season 2 episode 20: the Crossroads of Destiny. He had to let her go. There were too many people against him. He had no other choice than to let go and enter the avatar state. He had to give up another part of himself to be what the world needed. He needed to save Katara, not letting any others fall to his fault.
Season 3 Episode 1: The Awakening. “Everyone thinks you’re dead. Isn’t that great?!” To Aang, it isn’t. In fact, that’s probably the worst thing Sokka could’ve said. To Aang, the world thinks he failed... again. At first, he vanished for 100 years, thought dead. Then he returned to become dead again. Now, the Fire Nation has practically won because he wasn’t able to keep Ba Sing Se afloat.
Aang wants to intervene even though he’s barely able to walk. He wants to handle it himself. He’s holding himself accountable. Maybe even thinking, it’s the least I can do if I’ve already failed to the world twice. He keeps trying to help, having Sokka hold him back.
“I don’t want you or anyone else risking your lives for my mistakes.” This means Aang really blames himself for everyone. Holding everything on his shoulders. Thinking, “it’s all my fault.”
Aang does the thing he knows how to, he flies away on his glider. Hurt and bombarded with a storm. When he’s found by his friends, he finds his glider which we knew was very important to him. Air Nomads weren’t very material, but to a person with a smidge of their culture left, it would’ve meant much more. So, seeing it in shambles and them actively choosing to burn it is heartbreaking.
Season 3 episode 2: The Headband. The fact that the children of the Fire Nation and everyone who was taught after the war started thought the Air Nomads had a military, forcing the Fire Nation to attack them. It’s screwy. It was wrong, but knowing that his culture was thought of as evil and bloodthirsty had to have been off-putting. I mean, the Air Nomads were pacifist!
Aang was stripped of his childhood, so going to a school gave him a new chance without the burden of being the avatar. For example, earlier I mentioned Aang was excluded from playing with the air-scooter, but in the Fire Nation school, Aang as Kuzon was invited to play Hide and Explode. A chance to have fun without his responsibility to defeat the Fire Lord. A chance to be a normal kid.
“You taught them to be free” Aang did his best to help the kids. It wasn’t defeating the Fire Lord but it gave them control. A mind. They were brainwashed by the school and their country! So achieving a sense of freedom by self expression is something more than I can display in words.
Season 3 Episode 9: Nightmares and Daydreams. Although it’s a fun episode, Aang is in his last moments to train before the invasion. He has to be ready. He’s afraid that he’ll let the world down a third time. So, he creates false scenarios and plays them out to prepare. In this process, he gets really sleep deprived because of his stress. He’s rightfully worried. The state of the world continues to burden him.
Season 3 episode 10: The Day Of Black Sun, Part 1: The Invasion. Aang comes to Sokka’s side when Sokka begins to worry about his moment of truth. Aang says, “I already failed to world once at Ba Sing Se. I won’t let myself fail again.” Again, it’s all up to him. He needs to save the world, he needs to redeem himself.
Season 3 episode 11: The Day Of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse. Aang finds that it was all a trap. He failed again. On Appa as the youngest of the group loads on Appa, Aang is crying. He told himself that he wouldn’t fail. That he needed to win. He needed this victory to find out that his plan was ruined.
Season 3 Episode 12: The Western Air Temple. Aang accepts Zuko into the group. He does this not only because he needs a teacher but realizes that in his past attempt to learn Firebending, he hurt Katara. And that Jeong Jeong wasn’t the right master, but knowing that Zuko changed made Aang accept Zuko into the group and teach him.
Season 3 Episode 13: The Firebending Masters. Earlier, I mentioned that Aang vowed to be more careful with Fire after burning Katara. Showing why his flame was timid and weak. He was afraid for it to become out of control and hurt someone.
Season 3, episode 16: The Southern Raiders. “You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage.” He’s empathizing with Katara. We can’t forget that Aang is a survivor of genocide. He’s been through so much and wants to help Katara make the right decision. Not making it for her, but guiding her through the decision that would make her satisfied with herself and Yon Rha’s outcome. One she could live with. He’s using his own experience to help her.
Season 3, Episode 18, Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King. Aang wants to find an alternate solution rather than kill Firelord Ozai. He wants to stick to his principles. The ones that have been with him since forever. It’s not an easy decision. Maybe not only because of honoring the monks and their teaching but because the war had already created enough bloodshed.
Everyone is quick to assume Aang ran away. Although Aang is called to the Lion Turtles back. I think it was mostly unknowingly because he was like half asleep.
Season 3, Episode 19, Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: Old Masters. Aang looks to the past Avatars for their guidance. They’re the ones who might give him an alternate solution. In my opinion, they were all like, make whatever choice is right for you and the world. Don’t forget the world. Ultimately, to Aang, there were no other options, leaving him with the only option but to take Ozai’s life.
He meets the great look turtle. Aang respectfully asks him for an answer or an option. Once again, Aang was given the knowledge that he could take away whatever he received from the wisdom.
Season 3, Episode 20: Sozin’s Comet: Part 3: Into The Inferno. Ozai degrades Aang. Says, “you’re weak. Just like the rest of your people. They did not deserve to exist in this world, in my world! Prepare to join them.” So Aang has been told he’s weak and he is in no way weak. I will elaborate later.
Season 3, Episode 21: Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. Aang unblocks the avatar state and pins Ozai down. Just as Aang was going to kill him, he stops. He stops himself from going against his principles. Ozai continues to degrade him. “You are still weak.” Aang directs Ozai’s fire blast away using the Lion Turtle’s wisdom, Aang pins Ozai down and energy bends. With this, Aang discovers this non-fatal solution by giving Ozai justice and taking his bending away. Ozai can no longer intimidate and oppress anyone anymore.
“Please the real hero is the avatar.” That’s it. Aang is the hero. Of course, he had his friends to help him, but every single one of Aang’s mistakes and choices led to this. Led to the world being saved. So, for the first time in a while, Aang can come out of hiding, proud to be in this Air Nomad robes without concealing his identity.
I think I’m exaggerating about the tiniest details, but then again, I’m putting myself in Aang’s shoes, and that’s how I’d feel and how I interpret Aang’s actions/reactions. Also, I know I missed a few points, but I tried.
Big takeaways:
When Aang is told his people have been wiped out AND that he’s been gone for 100 years, for him, it has only been a few days for him. He left and a day later he wakes up and it’s been 100 years. That’s incredibly off-putting and scary. One day and his whole world shifted.
Aang was given very VERY little time to grieve as he had to save the world and learn the elements right away. When we do see it, his grief, he tries to let it all out at once rather than have it seep out little by little.
Aang is 12! He is a child and he saved the world. He has real emotions and was confused from time to time. He was a little immature at first but developed immensely.
Aang makes mistakes. But most importantly is that he learns from them and uses them to decide what's best for him and how to help others.
He looked for the light in dark situations.
Aang is the beacon of hope but even he was unhopeful and detached. He went to nightmares and back despite the worst.
Despite Ozai’s bashing and false claims, Aang is not weak and never has been. Aang went through the worst. He lost his family, his friends, and at one point, his best friend. He died. He was given an almost impossible task. Yet, he completed this task. He saved the world. Yes, he made mistakes but those mistakes shaped Aang into who he became. And how he was able to save the world. And Ozai was incredibly wrong. Aang defeated him and found his alternative. It wasn’t weak. It was strength. As Katara said in The Southern Raiders, “I don’t know if I was too weak to do it or if it’s because I’m strong enough not to.” In Aang’s case, he found his alternative that honored his teachings, his principles, his beliefs all while doing what was best for the world. That isn’t weak. It’s strong. Adding on, to come back from death isn’t weak. To return to action after running away isn’t weak. To face danger? To help others? To fight on the losing side for what is right? No, it’s not weak at all.
The music is fantastic and I think it reflects Aang amazingly. This doesn’t really fit into what I was talking about but the music fits the show.
Aang deserves so much love. I'll say it again, he's been through so much. Much more than what I could handle or almost anyone else. He is a traumatized child but even through the rough patches became an inspiration. To me, I think he’s sometimes overlooked and pushed aside so this is just some of my headcanons and takeaways.
Another thing, I’m not blaming Aang for anything. When I mention “it was his fault” I mean by he was blaming himself. The Air Nation’s genocide is not his fault. I mean that he blames himself for not helping or staying, for running away. 
Lastly, I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of their characters. They belong to their rightful creators and writers. Also, this is my analysis and a few of my takes on Aang’s trauma. I'm not trying to project my feelings on anyone. I'm just saying what I think.
If you made it this far thanks for reading my post!
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