#save me from this hell by recognizing ANY other emotion for a minute PLEASE. IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE

[snekdood]

i think I figured out what kind of ppl I dont like- it's ppl who treat life like a constant low-stakes comedy tv show where everyone forgets what happened yesterday unless its convenient to the plot

[drakenology]

I Hate Everything About You - Dabi

warnings: ANGST, smut, daddy kink, mentions of rape,violence, AND swearing (cause im a potty mouth)

author’s note: this lil story is inspired by my favorite song I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace. im a lil emo bitch ok? I recommend listening to the song to get a better perspective of how the emotions of the lyrics and the story goes hand in hand. the chorus goes like “I hate everything about you. why do i love you?” and I immediately thought of something angsty and raw to write. hope yall enjoy! this one might be a little long.

summary: You and Dabi have worked together as villians for as long as you can remember but you two don’t get along at all. is this truly hatred or is this repressed feelings coming to surface?

You hated heroism. You viewed it as weak and meaningless. When both of your parents were murdered by an anonymous killer and no one came to their rescue when they could very well have been saved, something dark took over your spirit. You snapped. At the tender age of 17, your parents did not receive justice for the act of violence committed against them. The police told you there “wasn’t enough evidence” and that the killer had most likely killed himself.

There were simply too many holes in the case for it to be solved. Obviously this infuriated you. So much in fact that you planned to blow up the entire police precinct.

And you did.

Now being on the run at only 17 you fell into a life of crime, committing yourself to being a villain who killed police officers off duty earning yourself the villain name “Cop Killer” from the authorities. Not to mention your very dangerous quirk called “Leech”. You were able drain anyone you gazed at of their blood, the gaze having to be completely focused on the person’s eyes. Once concentrated enough it becomes hard for the person to look away from you. To trigger your quirk, you have to say the word “leech” in order to essentially stop the flow of someone’s blood to their heart; their blood being extracted from their veins to yours. The blood only made your quirk stronger as you can now manipulate it and use it in combat. You had enough control to where you could take a little or take it all. The stolen blood was also good for increasing your stamina and speed for a short period, manifesting a weapon with the blood you stole and of course leeching the person of their blood entirely, instantly killing them. The murders you committed granted you the number one spot of Japan’s wanted list. You were also the youngest assasin in Japan at the time so you had to move around a lot. You spent your teenage years living in abandoned buildings and sketchy motels; robbing, stealing and of course murdering for survival.

The day you met the League of Villains was your 23rd birthday. As a treat to yourself, you had cornered one of the dirtiest cops you had ever encountered. He was a known sex trafficker, a thief as well as a disgusting rapist. You had him right where you wanted him; wearing a disguise to hide your true visage in order to avoid being recognized. You had pretended to be a love interest to the cop, sitting in the seedy hotel room he rented to have a little “privacy” with you.

“Oh baby, you don’t know what you do to me. I wanna see that pretty little mouth of yours around my cock. Get on your knees for me.” The police man said, the sleazy bastard unbuckling his belt. You nod, secretly being disgusted by this man. But you had to keep your cool. You got down on your knees and took his hard cock into your hands and pumped, looking him directly in the eyes as you did so.

“Yeah, baby. You’re so hot.” He groaned, keeping his eyes locked on yours almost instinctively as sweat collected on his brow.

“Thanks.. but your time’s up, you sick fuck.” you say, standing up on your feet. You straddle him, watching the cop’s eyes become terrified as he finally realizes who you really are.

“Leech.” You say as you watched your quirk take effect. The reaction was instant as he starts to gasp and grab at his heart, clinging onto his last minutes of life as he died on the hotel bed. You moan as his blood is transferred into yours, creating a dagger out of his blood. You slice his neck, licking whatever was left off of his cold throat. You laugh, searching his dead body to take whatever he had on his person; money, personal possessions and his gun. Just as you’re about to get up and leave you get the feeling that you aren’t alone. You turn and see none other than the villain you had seen all over local news.

Shigaraki. 

He chuckles dryly, admiring your work at killing the cop underneath you.

“Well done, little girl.” He said, peering over your shoulder to get a good look at the mess you made of him. You go to ask how the hell he got into the room until you hear the sound of police sirens blaring outside. 

“We have the entire hotel surrounded. There are Heros on the way to assist us. Surrender now or face the consequences.” You hear the cops say on a megaphone.

“Shit.” You mumble, quickly grabbing your things; planning your escape in your head.

“Listen, I’ve admired your work since your attack on that police station, Cop Killer.” Shigaraki said. “We could use someone like you in the League of Villains. My friend Kurogiri here can get us both out of here in one piece. But only with your consent of course.”

You think for a moment. You’d rather make a smooth escape than risk being arrested. So you agree. 

“We’ll explain everything once we get back to base.” Kurogiri says, morphing himself through the cracks of the door. 

Kurogiri takes both you and Shigaraki and consumed you both into his portals, leading you to the secret hide-out of the League of Villains. You look around, your vision a little hazy from being in the dark portal. You see a few other people standing in the lobby. A guy with a weird mask on with two sides on it eagerly introduced himself as Twice. You see a cute girl that looked a little young to be in a place like this. 

“Toga Himiko. Nice to meet ya. Hey, you’re way prettier in person. The police drawing of you is really unflattering.” She says, waving at you. You smile meekly as you turn away to see this guy standing at the corner of the bar. He had burn scars all over his face and neck, dark hair and the most mysterious eyes you’ve ever seen. You met his gaze when you noticed him staring at you, sizing you up. You found his stare threatening and kind of alluring. You almost couldn’t look away. 

“Don’t stare at me for too long, Cop Killer. I know what those eyes can do.” He said sarcastically, not even caring to introduce himself. He felt familiar, like you’ve known him for a long time. You rolled your eyes and walked over to Shigaraki. 

“Look, if you think just because you got me out of a tight spot that I’m just gonna beg to work for you, you’re wrong. I work alone.” You said, adjusting the top of your outfit. 

“I know. But today that changes. You see, we’ve been watching you, Cop Kill-” He says, interrupted by your loud groan.

“My name is Y/N. Please just call me by my name. My mother didn’t name me Cop Killer.” You demand, folding your arms in protest. 

“But that’s what you are, Y/N. Don’t be ashamed.” Shigaraki says, inching closer to you. “Look, the services of the League of Villains aren’t free. We helped you. Now you help us. You understand don’t you, Y/N?” 

You sigh, wishing you had just leapt out of a nearby window back at the hotel instead of taking help from this creep. 

“Fine.” You say, looking down at your shoes. 

“Wonderful.” Shigaraki says, walking away from you. “Oh and one more thing. I hate back talkers.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few months pass and you’re well acquainted with all the villains of the organization. You were all usually partnered up for missions; you always alternating between Toga and Dabi, who had finally told you his “name”. You grew to be pestered by Dabi. You’d much rather be paired up with Toga than Dabi any day since you and Dabi just could not get along, you both arguing like an old married couple at every mission. You couldn’t stand him. His cockiness, his elitist attitude, his aloofness. He hated you because of your attitude, you thinking you knew better than everyone else. He thought you were a spoiled brat who hasn’t done anything remarkable to even earn a spot in the League. To you, he was everything you despised about some men. 

One night you were all playing a friendly game of Blackjack; which seemed to be a ritual between the members. Shigaraki didn’t bother playing but Kurogiri always seemed to watch. 

“Ugh.. Fold. What do I have to do to get a decent fucking hand, huh?” Twice said, his two voices seeming to contrast in differing personality. You laugh, slamming down a perfect hand worth 21. 

“I stand, bitches.” You say, winning yet another round. 

“I’m bored.” Dabi says, standing up and leaving the table. 

“Oh don’t be like that, Dabi. Come back!” Toga says, throwing her cards down. She sighs and stands up from the table. “Well, I guess that’s it. I’m goin to bed. Nighty night, Y/N. Twice.” Everyone went their separate ways. You walk into your room and change into something more comfortable and walk outside to get some air. To your dismay, Dabi was already standing outside in the same spot you liked to chill and think. 

“Yo.” He says, referring to you. You roll your eyes and walk over to him. 

“What?” You say, annoyed to the point where you just want to turn around and go back inside. 

“Aw, what’s wrong, Cop Killer? Don’t like me?” He asks, inching closer to you to whisper in your ear. You stand still for a moment and lunge at him, grabbing his throat and pushing him against the wall. 

“Stop fucking testing me.” You say sternly, looking him deeply in the eyes with the intention to kill. 

“Careful, little girl. You might just turn me on.” He says, grabbing your arm and pushing you back. You freeze, stunned at the sudden harsh movement from the tall man in front of you. ”You’re 5′4′’, sweetheart. If I wanted to, I could end you without even using my quirk. You ‘oughta be nicer to me.” 

You get angrier by the second, yelling and screaming about how much you hate him all while trying to take jabs at him, throwing punches at his face. Dabi dodges every swing, smirking at your abilities. He was impressed, but he’d never tell you that. 

“Huh. Keep it up and you might actually hit me.” He teased, swinging back at you, landing right on your jaw. You stumble and collect yourself, charging towards him once more. You were certain you’d hit him, the blood from someone you’ve killed earlier that day increasing your speed. 

“Fuck you.” You hiss, taking another swing at him and connect, landing right on his cheek. He smirks, wiping blood from his mouth. You get cocky and go for another punch only for him to dodge you. He grabbed your arm and twisted it, pinning you against the brick wall in front of him with your back facing him. 

“When?” He asked in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You hated that he could so easily overpower you, making you despise him even more. He releases you from his grip and stands close to you; you feeling the warmth of his skin radiating from his body. 

“Listen. You hate me and quite frankly I can’t stand you either. But you don’t see me attacking you. Try it again and I won’t be so nice next time, little girl.” Dabi said, grabbing your face to daringly look into your poisonous eyes to mock your quirk. You focus, ready to end this asshole. Suddenly his lips crash into yours. At first, you’re disgusted and fucking pissed. But then you feel yourself start involuntarily melting into his kiss. So you kiss him back with no shame, all bitter feelings leaving your mind as the kiss gets more intense. You feel his hands groping and caressing your body, his hands exploring to stop at your neck; wrapping it around. You gasp, feeling yourself get hot. 

“The first time I saw you, I thought you were the hottest girl I’ve ever seen. And then you spoke. And I couldn’t stand you. But I couldn’t shake this feeling of wanting to bend you over and punish you for your slick mouth. You need a good hard dicking to keep your mouth shut and I’m the one to give it to you. That’s what you want too, isn’t it?” He asked, starting to kiss your neck harshly. You moan, embarrassed at his words. He was right. You found him attractive as soon as you saw him but his attitude rubbed you the wrong way. But right here and now, you realize that you might have been hiding your true feelings behind a façade of hatred. You wanted him too and you couldn’t stand it. 

“I’m talking to you, Y/N.” He persists, biting into your neck. You mewl, shocked at how good he was making you feel. You almost couldn’t believe you were in this situation. It was confusing but formalities could come later. You wanted him now. 

“Yes, Dabi. I wanted you to fuck me the first time I saw you.” You say quietly, feeling him reach under your shirt and bra to grab at your naked breast. You bit your lip, feeling slick pool between your legs as you fall victim to his touch. 

“Get inside and go in my room. I expect you to have nothing on when I get there. Understood?” He demands, pinching your nipple lightly. You gasp, nodding at his request. 

“Words. You’ve already made me angry with that stunt you pulled punching me in the face. I wouldn’t try me further.” He said, grabbing your hair and pulling it to expose more of your neck. You moan, unable to control yourself suddenly. It’s like he knew exactly what to do to turn you on. Fucking asshole.

“Y-Yes, daddy- I-I mean Dabi.” You flush. Damn. You couldn’t believe you let that slip. He laughs, kissing your lips once more as he lets you go. 

“Daddy works just fine.” Dabi says smirking, watching you stumble towards the door to go back inside. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You knew you should just go into your own room but, God you wanted to see what he’d do to you for almost punching him. You wondered how rough he’d be, your panties soaking at the thought as you gulp and open his room door. You sat on his bed and took off your clothes, leaving your underwear on to tease him. Suddenly his door opens and it’s him. He looked you up and down, loving what he saw. But to his dismay you had on too many clothes still. 

“I thought I told you to get naked, little girl.” Dabi said, pushing you onto his bed. He stood above you, running his fingers down your stomach and stopping at the waistband of your panties. You shudder at his cold fingers. 

“You never said naked.” You tease, looking back at him. He frowns, shaking his head. 

“Man, you just love pushing my buttons don’t you? You’re gonna regret teasing me so much.” He says, pulling your panties down roughly, holding them up to his face. He smirked at the wet spot he saw on them, throwing them onto the ground. “This is gonna be fun.”

You hiss as he slid one measly finger inside you while rubbing your bundle of nerves with his thumb, the single finger not being enough to satisfy your craving for that certain pleasurable stretch. Somehow though, Dabi was making you feel good with that one finger. You roll your hips for more friction only to have Dabi hold you down with his other hand. 

“Stop squirming so much. It makes you look desperate, doll.” He teased earning a whine from you. As if to be a little forgiving he adds another finger, watching your face twist up in pleasure. You were visually trying to hide your moans, Dabi not liking that at all. 

“Come on now. It’s no fun if you don’t scream for me. Let everyone here know how good I make you feel.” He said, halting his movements. You nod, moaning loudly as he adds a third finger. Any shame or embarrassment is gone as he worked you up to your first orgasm. You grab at his sheets, trying to move for more friction only to once more be overpowered by Dabi. 

“You don’t listen too well do you? I said stop squirming. You’ll have your fill but good girls wait to cum. Understand? I expect you to address me correctly this time.” He says, grabbing your face to make you look at him. Something about knowing you could kill him with your eyes turned him on, because he knew he could keep you from doing so. All he had to do was please you, knowing you won’t be able to focus on anything but screaming his name let alone his eyes. 

“Y-Yes daddy.” You mewl, your eyes rolling back as he pulled out one of your breasts, sucking on your nipple harshly. The sound of your moans was music to Dabi’s ears, the only thing he ever wanted to hear come out of your mouth. He cooed praises into your ear, telling you hot sexy you are and how et your pussy is just for him. He crawls on top of you, pulling his fingers out of you as you whine at the sudden loss. He kissed you, ripping your bra off. He sat up and stared at the gorgeous naked woman underneath him. 

“You’re so hot when you’re not talking shit.” He says, playing with your boobs. He was unsure of where to start. He wanted to please every inch of your lovely curves, his eyes drinking in your hips up to your beautiful breasts. He nearly drooled at the sight of them, your nipples seeming to perk up when he looked at them. You stare back at the man on top of you, his scars almost complimenting his skin as you watched him take off his shirt. You bit your lip as you feel a nice sized bulge grind up against your dripping core. You didn’t even notice that his pants were off, drooling at the sight of his body overpowering yours. He grinded up against you, leaning in close to your ear. 

“Ready to get fucked, sweetheart?” He asked, nibbling on your ear lobe. 

“Yes, god, yes!” You gasp, feeling him take off his boxers. He positioned his dick at your entrance, tapping it against you to tease you. You moan, going to grab his cock and shove it inside you but you think twice, already in trouble with him. Dabi smirks, excited to break you as he shoved himself inside you and started to rut his hips into you. You moan sinfully at the sudden stretch, loving how he filled you. You feel him speed up, not even fully adjusted to his length as you clawed at his back for dear life. 

“You’re takin me so well, doll.” He said, grabbing your neck to lightly choke you. Your eyes roll back as you reveal a sinful ahegao face while he pounds you senseless. You’re moaning his name and telling him how good he feels inside you, cussing and screaming into the air as you feel yourself coming close to cumming.

“C-Can I-?” You ask, unable to finish your sentence as you feel yourself clenching around him. Dabi is relentlessly prodding at your g-spot, causing you to see stars as he notices he’s hitting that special spot. He smirks and angles himself so that he’s repeatedly hitting that spot, watching you cover your mouth as you scream. He snatched your hand away from your mouth and pinned it above your head. 

“Tell me you’re sorry for punching me, kitten.” He demands, harshly pinching your nipples. You shake your head no to tease him. “No? Must need more convincing, huh brat?” He pulls out of you, you letting out a pathetic sob at the loss. He roughly flips you on your stomach and plants a hard smack on your ass. You yelp, your pussy aggravated as it throbs at the feeling of pleasure. He yanks you towards him and shoves himself back inside you, you laying flat on your stomach. You kick and scream under him, feeling him so deep it blinds you. 

“Oh my god, daddy!” You whine, shoving your face into your pillow as he assaults your g-spot. 

“Say it.” He demands, landing another hard smack on your ass this one sure to leave a mark. 

“I-I’m sorry! Fuck, I’m sorry!” You scream, desperate for release. 

“Good girl.” He hisses. Dabi grabs your hair and lifts your head off the pillow wanting to hear the last moans you can give before you cum. 

“Go ‘head and cum for me. You’ve earned it.” He says. And just like that you clench around him hard, your orgasm washing over your body as you cum all over his dick. He rides out your orgasm, only to continue pounding you earning a sharp yelp from you as you throw your head into the pillow again.

“You didn’t think it was over did you? That’s cute.” He said, taking you further. At this point you’re overstimulated, the pleasure almost painful as he worked you to another orgasm. 

“God, I love you!” You scream to his delight as you cum quicker than your mind can keep up. 

“I love you too. Even though you’re fucking annoying.” He hisses, unable to hold himself back anymore. He cums hot inside you, grunting as he slaps your ass one last time before pulling himself out. You moan softly, breathing heavily as he cleaned you up. He kissed up your body, you unable to move from being completely fucked out of your mind. 

“When you socked me, I knew you were a keeper.” He laughed. 

“Shut up.” You say, smiling into your pillow. 

“HEY, YOU TWO DONE IN THERE? YOU COULD HAVE WOKEN UP THE ENITRE CITY WITH ALL THAT RACKET!” Twice shouted through the walls, turning your face red with shame. 

“SHUT UP AND MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!” Dabi yelled back, rubbing soft circles on your ass to soothe his harsh marks on both cheeks. 

bitch i.. i’m sick. 

[thespianbooks]

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 18//

Masterlist

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd, @amandaraey-sunshine, @easy-p-lemon, @azymondias05, @dagypsygirl, @makeshift-utopia) *bold tags don’t work ;-;

“Only you can decide what breaks you.”--ACOWAR

XXX

A myriad of voices and faces faded in and out of darkness—surrounding me as I fought desperately to make sense of it all. Excruciating spasms ebbed in and out, leaving me unable to focus long enough to figure out where the pain was coming from. Perhaps it was all over my body, but during a particularly brutal wave; when I could hear myself crying out, I knew it came from my core. I saw Rhysand's face in the midst of my agony, his violet eyes like shattered glass and lined with silver���glimmering starlight falling down his face. It was so beautiful, but it seemed the night itself was weighing me down and I couldn't ask what caused him so much despair.

Twilight continued to envelope me, and I couldn't discern it from anything else. From the moment it took hold, it felt as if I were floating—images of concerned faces flashing across my vision every so often as my abdomen continued to throb. I knew those faces, knew their voices, but couldn't recognize anyone but my mate. He was my tether among the stars I drifted along in, until my world went dark once again.

XXX

Sunlight peeked through half-closed curtains—my curtains, I realized, as I made out the details of my bedroom. I blinked slowly as I looked around the familiar settings, my breath hitching in my throat as images of blood and pain came surging back to memory.

You're all right Feyre, it's okay

I turned at the sound of Rhys's voice, even through the bond, as he moved from the chair at my bedside to sit beside me. He looked like hell; his hair a disheveled mess with dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes, face still stained from those beautiful tears I remembered. My eyes went wide as I recalled where the pain had stemmed from and my hands flew to my stomach, gripping the fabric of my dressing gown.

"He's okay," Rhys breathed. His hand held mine, both of ours holding my stomach.

I was still pregnant. My son was alive.

I felt that all too familiar glimmer, my eyes slipping shut in relief as I sobbed. I gripped my stomach with both hands and sobbed again as I felt him move. Rhys bent down to press a kiss to my forehead before pressing his against it gently. He held my face as I cried, relieved, and I moved my hands to grip his shoulders as they shook lightly—his own tears mixing with mine as we held each other.

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Rhys. I said down the bond, prepared to plead for forgiveness.

"Don't apologize Feyre. You have nothing to be sorry for," he said as he pulled back just enough for our eyes to meet.

"I put him at risk," I whispered as I stifled another sob in my throat. "I-I used my powers, and not even five minutes later I started cramping. I-I shouldn't have-" I sobbed again, and he shook his head, brushing the tears from my cheeks.

"You acted as High Lady. You did what you had to do for our city while I was away," he said, but I could hear the same anger that I held against myself laced in his voice. It was subtle, but it was there.

I opened my mouth to argue, but there was a gentle knock at the door followed by the voice of our healer. "It's me, my lord. I've felt the High Lady wake and need to reevaluate her current state."

Rhys pressed another kiss to my brow and straightened, waving a hand to unlock the door; allowing Madja to let herself in. The dark-skinned female smiled warmly at me as she approached my bedside.

"How are you feeling, lady?" She asked.

I sniffed and did a quick evaluation of myself. I was sore and weary—my usual fatigue exemplified by whatever my body had just been through. "Tired...and aching, but no pain." I answered, deciding that honesty would be my best course of action. I wouldn't take a chance on my son's safety again.

She nodded in understanding. "That's to be expected. You've been through a tremendous few days," she said.

My eyes widened. "It's been days?"

"Just two. You were out after the initial attack, which took place in the afternoon. You slept all day yesterday after Madja healed you," Rhys explained, taking my hand and squeezing it reassuringly—though I could hear the lingering ache in his voice.

"I was able to put you in a trance of sorts, while you healed, in order to allow your body the ample time it needed to recover before you regained consciousness," Madja said, her tone growing serious as she met my gaze.

"However, my lady, the extraordinary use of your powers that day; noble and vital as they were in saving our city, did cause a strain on your womb. The muscles that line the area holding your youngling contracted, causing some minor tearing and bleeding."

I felt Rhys's agony flicker through our bond as he heard the words, no doubt thinking back to what those initial moments must've been like—when I was floating in and out of consciousness and crying out from the pain. "This caused your body to enter premature labor, but I was able to stop it, heal the tear, and stop the bleeding in sufficient time," she finished explaining.

A few more tears slid down my face as I closed my eyes, returning a hand to hold my stomach gently—afraid that even the slightest touch would reopen the wound in my newly repaired muscles. The healer placed a reassuring hand over mine.

"You are resilient my lady. You and your youngling are strong. Not only did you fight for his survival, your healing blood doing what it could at the time, but your youngling did as well. As I was tending to your wounds, I felt the power in his blood attempting to sustain his environment—that healing power you have passed onto him. Part of the agony you felt was not only premature labor pains, but also your youngling restoring the injury to your womb."

My eyes widened at the revelation and I looked at Rhys, who also looked as if this was the first time he was hearing it. "But this does mean you will need to remain on strict bed rest until further notice. My medicinal process will continue over the course of the next few weeks. It is slow, but successful. Your youngling is safe now, but your body and his need this time to continue to rest and recuperate. I also want to ensure that the muscles I repaired remain intact and regain its strength. Allow me to check on that progress now," she continued before placing her hands on either side of my stomach. Healing magic flowed through those hands as I turned to face Rhys.

He squeezed my hand again. He has your healing powers. He...was healing you

I covered my mouth to stifle a sob. Everything she warned us of, all the risks and complications...I've brought them on myself, and on our baby.

Don't say that Feyre. This is not your fault.

Of course it is! I winced as a light spasm flowed through me, but Madja's restorative touch gently dissolved it.

Her weary eyes met mine. "My lady, it is imperative that you do not put any additional stress on yourself at this time. Physically, or emotionally."

I nodded and breathed in a deep sigh, both of Rhys's hands gripping mine as Madja went back to her work. Please Feyre. Don't blame yourself for this

I saw the hurt sparkling in his eyes, the heartbreak, and realized the anger I saw earlier wasn't directed at me. It's not your fault either, Rhysand.

I shouldn't have left you here in your condition. It was a mistake assuming you and Velaris would be safe with the threat of a coup on the horizon

Through the bond, I could feel the remorse he had spent the last two days ruminating in—believing himself to be at fault for my current state. We were blaming ourselves, when in truth the accountability lied in our attackers; each of us having to respond accordingly. A seed of blame still lived in me, because deep down I had known using my powers to such an extent was a risk. I didn't anticipate it causing as much damage as it did, and I would never forgive myself for it. The regret that resided in Rhys, however, was from leaving his pregnant mate behind.

We can't be racked with this guilt, Rhys. We had no idea this would happen. I said through the bond, brushing my thumb along his lightly as I curled against his mental shields.

I saw the inner turmoil he battled with in his violet eyes as he kept himself closed off for the time being, fighting his male-bonded instincts that caused him to be vehemently angry at himself for believing he abandoned his weak and vulnerable mate—all the while trying to convince himself that he hadn't. Finally, I felt him lower his shields and let him hold me through the bond; felt his engulfing warmth and security.

You're right

It was all he could manage as I felt the emotions swirl through him, and on that bridge that connected us, I held him just as securely as he held me.

Madja moved her hands from my stomach with a satisfied nod. "Everything is as it should be, the recovery you made while unconscious was substantial, but for the next week or so, you are to remain in bed and must pass over your duties as High Lady for the time being. I will be in daily to monitor your condition, and after this initial period of strict confinement, we'll see about you returning to some of those duties."

I nodded my understanding and so did Rhys. "I'll make sure she gets more than the adequate amount of rest she needs," he said, voice still strained.

"I have no doubt about that my lord, but you must also allot yourself some time to rest," the healer said, turning her full attention to my mate. "You haven't gotten a wink of sleep since I arrived. I understand your mating bond is very fragile, and I can't imagine the stress you must be under as High Lord, mate, husband, and now the expectant father."

She placed a gentle hand on my mate's shoulder. "You must also take care of yourself for your mate's benefit. Sleep, eat, and allow yourself to attend to your duties as High Lord and turn her care over to the others. They worry for both of your well-being and would be glad to do whatever they can to help."

I frowned as Rhys's shoulders tensed a bit at her words, and for clarification he allowed me past a layer of his adamant walls. There I saw the memories of the time I remained unconscious—how he guarded my side night and day and locked the rest of our family out; physically and mentally. He passed messages through the healer as she was the only one allowed in and out of our room, and the others didn't push—despite how distraught he knew they were over my condition. They tried to bring him food and water, but he remained closed off, locking himself away with me until now.

I shouldn't have shut them out. He admitted through the bond. But until you were awake, until I knew everything would be okay...I just couldn't bring myself to face them or let them near you, or do anything else for that matter

I sighed and squeezed his hand gently. "I'll take care of him, Madja," I reassured the healer.

She nodded. "That's good to hear," she said before turning to her bag of supplies. "Now, I'm prescribing an herbal tea mixture for you to consume twice a day. Once in the morning, and then at night. This will aid in your recovery and work to help you slowly regain more energy. I'm mixing it with your prenatal herbal mixture to continue supplementing your youngling as well." She mixed together the concoction on the spot, using her own powers to brew a cup for me and handed me the mug.

I cringed as I attempted to sit up on my own, but Rhys already had an arm around my back to keep me upright. The healer offered me a wry smile, "You'll continue to be sore for the next few days, so please, take even the slightest movements with great caution."

I nodded and held the cup of tea to my lips, taking a sip. "Thank you Madja, for everything," I said, hoping she saw the sincerity in my eyes.

She nodded again with a slight bow. "Of course, my lady," she turned to Rhys. "I'll go inform the others of the Lady's recovery and return tomorrow afternoon."

"Thank you." Rhys said, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. She smiled again before excusing herself, leaving my mate and I alone.

I took another sip of my tea as Rhys adjusted himself to sit on the bed, keeping me upright. "The city is secure," he said softly, and my heart skipped a beat. "Your wall of water put out all the flames, and the palace lords were able to arrange for repairs to the damaged buildings right away."

Tears of relief slid down my cheeks as I held my brew at my lips, allowing the steam from the cup to warm my face and keep me at ease. "Our home is safe again...?" I whispered.

He pressed a kiss to my temple. "Everyone is safe, Feyre. Everyone," he reassured. He knew my worry for Ressina and my other painter friends; the younglings we taught in my studio and their parents. The innocent lives I fought and would always fight to protect.

Defender of the Rainbow

I sighed heavily and slowly turned in his arms to meet his gaze. "What happened...in the Mortal Lands? Why did Vassa come here?" I asked, knowing she had not done this willingly.

Rhys sighed as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his violet eyes going distant as he recalled the details. "Cassian, Azriel, and I arrived at the queen's palace up in flames. Lucien was doing his best to calm them while he ordered the guards to put them out. He said it happened so fast," he began, and I frowned.

"Beron arrived with one of the generals of his armies, and with the sorcerer who cursed Vassa. We don't know how he managed to find him, but he forced Vassa into her firebird form and cast her to the skies to begin wreaking havoc. He had complete control over her," He sighed as he closed his eyes. "Lucien and Beron had a confrontation before unleashing his army to attack and Jurian took over and led their armies to fight back. We arrived after Beron and the sorcerer vanished with Vassa, and Lucien doing what he could to put out the flames on the palace while Jurian and the mortal forces continued to battle against the Autumn Court army. He had already sent word to Tamlin for help, but we jumped in and started fighting on their behalf until they arrived. We were worried about where Beron would take Vassa next, and I...I had a bad feeling. I wanted to come back to Velaris as soon as possible; wanted to come back to you. Cassian was about to send word to Devlon, to gather our legions that haven't turned yet, when I felt it-"

His breath hitched and I saw his throat bob before he went on, voice hoarse. "I felt a tug on the bond...not from you, but from our son." He touched my stomach with a gulp. "That normal glimmer was a hot spark, a cry for help, and I knew something was wrong. I winnowed back to Velaris immediately, right at your side, only seconds after you collapsed...and then I saw the blood..."

I reached my arms around his shoulders as he collapsed into tears, the memory of me lying in the grass unconscious and bleeding now overwhelming him. I wrapped my arms around him as he buried his face into the crook of my neck, his arms encircling my waist as he cried. Dropping my emptied mug to the floor, I held him—my own tears falling as I buried my face in his hair and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

After a few minutes he pulled back to meet my gaze, a hand going to hold my stomach gently. "I thought I was going to lose you, and our son, and I couldn't bear it. I brought you inside the estate just as Mor arrived with Madja. She knew you would need help, but she was horrified when she saw your condition. I laid you down right there, in the foyer, so Madja could get to work, but you were fading," he squeezed his eyes shut at the memory.

I brushed against his mental shields, asking him to show me rather than tell me of the events that transpired, and he hesitated before letting me in. I saw myself lying on the marbled ground, pale, as the healer had her hands pressed to my stomach—hands glowing with her healing magic. I heard the voices of the others—panicked and yelling as they arrived at the estate. Then I heard myself groaning and whimpering in agony, and I remembered from my own harrowing memories that I thought I had been screaming. Instead, I was on the floor, crying and pleading incoherently as Madja healed me and then met Rhysand's eyes. I looked into my own dull grey-blue eyes and was overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness that my mate had endured.

I pushed away from his thoughts, unable to look at myself any longer and sobbed. "I'm sorry I put you through that Rhysand. I...how can you ever forgive me?"

He captured my lips with his, pleading and adoring and forgiving as he kissed me. "You and our son are safe. That's all that matters to me now," he whispered before kissing me again.

I kissed him back, holding his face and brushing away the tears from his cheek with my thumbs as he did the same. "I would be so furious...how are you not furious with me? How are the others not-" I choked.

He met my gaze meaningfully. "I couldn't be furious with you for doing what you have always done, Feyre. I was scared, I still am, but I spent the last two days praying to the Mother, that you would just wake up."

His thumbs stroked my cheeks gently as starlight danced behind his violet eyes. "I can't tell you how relieved I am that you and our son are safe," he kissed me again. "For that reason, I can't be angry."

I sniffed as I kissed him back, holding his wrists gently as he held my face. "I'll be careful from now on," I promised. "I'll let you coddle and fuss over me all you want."

A tired laugh escaped past his lips and my heart fluttered at the sound, glad to see a smile return to his handsome face. "I'll hold you to that, Feyre darling," he said with quiet amusement.

We held each other; brows pressed together as we moved to stare at my stomach. Our son was quiet, but I could feel his subtle movements. Rhys caressed it gently, earning a kick to his palm and he smiled again. "Still so strong," he whispered.

"He's amazing...and he's still growing," I said as I brushed my fingertips along the expanse of my belly.

"Thank the Mother," Rhys said as he moved down to press a kiss at the apex of my stomach.

I brushed my fingers through his hair as he stayed by my belly, restoring it back from the mess it had been from his stressed hands mussing it up. "I think I know what we should name him," I mused.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Sebastian."

"Sebastian?"

I nodded and ran a hand along the top of my stomach, "It suits him...don't you think?"

Sebastian. Venerable, and strong—which our youngling most certainly was. Rhys's eyes warmed as his hand rested atop mine. "It's perfect."

Our son must've agreed, because rather than a kick of protest under our palms, we felt that intimate glimmer flutter through our bond—strong as ever. Rhys let out a long breath, and I noticed the tension finally leaving his shoulders as he laid beside me; our joined hands lingering on my stomach as we stared at it until we both slipped into an easeful sleep.

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 8)

Bakugo x Reader 

words: 3010

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo. But will trouble follow? 

*****************************************************************************************************

You almost couldn’t see yourself with the amount of tears that were streaming down your cheeks. You saw the look on his face when he realized what you had done. 

“NO! Y/n don’t do this!” 

He stumbled around with his hands out trying to find you. Desperately swinging his arms around but they found nothing as you were pulled into Puppeteer’s embrace. 

“Y/N! PLEASE! It doesn't have to be this way! Please give me my sight back! Please baby listen to me!” 

Puppeteer’s grip tightened, “Isn't that adorable... the mighty ground zero.. begging.” 

You wiped your tears and lifted your hand out as if to reach for him. You gave him his sight back, or at least you tried. But nothing was happening. “Bakugo I’m trying! But my quirk isn't working! I don't understand. Whats-”

Puppeteer snarled, “Oh come on now Y/n... You’re much smarter than that. I took the liberty of using your quirk for you. I thought I could trust you to do the right thing... apparently not!” He backhanded you across the face all while never letting go of your wrist.  

You cried out in pain and Bakugo’s face snapped in your direction. He couldn’t see you but he could hear you. He lunged for you but Puppeteer was quicker. He threw his leg up and kicked Bakugo in the stomach, winding him and sending him to his knees. 

You strained against Puppeteer’s hold, “Im so sorry Bakugo! I’m sorry! Please dont-”

Puppeteer cut you off, “I’m a man of my word. No harm will come to you and your friends... but the offer is void should you decide to look for us. I won't be so nice the next time we meet..” 

Bakugo growled with rage, “I don’t fucking care what you do to me! I will come after you and I will fucking kill you! YOU FUCKING SHIT STAIN!” 

Puppeteer struck Bakugo in the back of the head knocking him out cold as he dragged you out of the office. “Well good luck to you and your over sized ego.” 

You tripped over yourself several times as you attempted to keep up with the tall man dragging you through the halls. You could faintly hear as the party was disrupted by what you could assume was the rest of the team. People started to scream and chaos followed. True to his word none of Puppeteers men attempted to fight back. Instead they had all left well before the heros even arrived. Sure they ended up selling out some of their clientele, but a small price to pay to have you back. His reach was long, he would sort all of it out later. 

“Would you hurry up you silly girl! Dragging your feet won't help you.” He yanked hard causing you to almost run in order to keep up. He stormed up the stairs dragging you with him, you were sure you would be covered in bruises from his grip. When you finally got to the top he shoved you in the helicopter and shouted at the pilot to leave immediately. 

He put on a pair of fancy looking headphones and passed you a pair as well. “I see that my mistake before was treating you more like an animal, like a pet to do my bidding. Things could be different this time around... if you behave.” 

********************

Bakugo woke up to someone shaking him and yelling, “Hey man wake up! What happened? Where’s Y/n?”

His eyes snapped open, “Shit Y/n! On the roof! He said he had a helicopter on the roof!” He tried to stand up but his head began to spin. 

Kirishima gently pushed his back down, “Hey man you got a nasty looking head injury. I’ve already sent some people to the roof and they didn't find anything...” 

Bakugo squeezed his eyes shut to prevent any traitor tears from slipping out and making him look weak in front of the other heros. “Then she’s gone... he took her and they’re gone...” 

Kirishima sighed as he took a seat next to his distraught best friend, “Don’t worry man, we found them once and we’ll find them again. Y/n’s earrings have trackers in them. There’s still hope.” 

Bakugo didn’t say anything. He just covered his face with his hands and let out a huge sigh. Everyone was smart enough to leave him alone for a while. He got checked out by some medics, and they bandaged his head for him. They advised he go home and get some rest but obviously that wasn't happening. He started to wander the halls of the fortress like house. There were so many rooms.. and a lot of them had bars and locks, much like cells. A chill went down his spine. 

He turned a corner and stopped in his tracks... at the end of the hall was a girl. She was dirty and covered in a blanket. She was talking to a police officer and she... she looked like you. 

He tried to keep himself from sprinting towards her. He didn’t want to spook her. The closer he got the more of you he saw in her features. Sure this girl looked to be a little taller. Her hair was much lighter than yours. But there was something about her eyes, they looked just like yours.

He approached her and knelt down, “I’m sorry to interrupt but you just... you look like someone I know. Can I talk to you for a minute.” 

She nodded and stood up to take a walk with him. 

As soon as they were out of earshot she yanked Bakugo into a room and shut the door. Baffled Bakugo pulled his hand from her grip, “Hey! What the hell?”

The strange girl looked him in the eyes, “Listen I don’t have much time to explain. You recognized me because I look like Y/n. Which makes complete sense considering I’m her older sister.” She put a hand up to him to stop him from talking, “I know you have questions but please wait until I’m finished, we're on a time crunch after all.” 

He narrowed his eyes, “You have 5 minutes to explain what the fuck is going on and who you are.... we’re on a time crunch after all...” 

She smirked and when she was satisfied with his compliance she continued. “My name is Ora. I’m a few years older than her and there’s no way she would remember me. I started showing signs of my quirk young just like she did. And I was sold to Puppeteer just like she was. I’m sure you found out about our parents but what you dont know is our mom works for Puppeteer. Her quirk is emotional manipulation. He finds people's quirks that he likes and he sends her out to basically trick them into loving her, having their children and then delivering them to him. She’s a sick, twisted, bitch.” 

Her fists balled up and shook for a few seconds before she let go and continued, “Our dad was an honest man. His quirk was time travel. But he could only go up to 24 hours into the past at a time. He couldn’t move to the future, but he could always come back to the present. It took a lot of out him, so he only used it once a day. Every day he would read the paper, pick someone who died and go back and warn them. Well he ended up messing with Puppeteers affairs and it pissed him off.” 

The girl began to pace now as her rant continued, “Puppeteer wanted to kill him but he also wanted his quirk. You see he collects quirks. He can use anyone’s quirk as long as they are alive and he has touched them within the last hour. He controls people like puppets. Hence the name. So he sent my mom after him and when they had me... well I was lucky enough to inherit his quirk. By the time I started showing signs of it though Y/N had already been born but she would have been too young to remember. They came for me and my dad died trying to protect me.” 

Bakugo could see pain flash across her eyes. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m really sorry for all the shit you and Y/n have had to endure because of him. I would give anything to kill that fucker with my bare hands.”

Ora just sniffed, “I fucking hate puppeteer but he’s a smart fucker. Every time I try and take him down he’s always one step ahead. He’s been giving me quirk suppressing drugs for years. Keeping me here until he needs me. I can feel them wearing off now and as soon as they do... well I have this idea. It’s crazy and I need your help. I want to go back in time and save my dad. The only thing is.. I’ve never gone that far. Also I need to take you with me... and I've never done that before either...” 

Bakugo blinked a few times before he scoffed, “That’s not even a plan! That’s just wishful thinking! We need a real plan... Right now we’re tracking her coordinates through a tracking device we put in her earrings. We are going to find her and I’m going to blow Puppeteers stupid head off his his stupid body. THAT’s a plan.”

Ora crossed her arms over her chest, “That’s the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard. Your plan is more unrealistic than mine. You’ll never get close enough to him. He has so many quirks at his disposal. He uses his goons like chess pieces. He plays with them like a video game. He left me here. So either someone fucked up and forgot to snag me on their way out, or the cocky bastard dosen’t see me as a threat anymore. Either way by now he knows I’m free and he’ll expect me, as I assume he'll expect you. Anything we do has to be very carefully thought out.”

“And you think doing something you’ve never done before in your life is careful thinking? It’s a suicide mission!” 

“I think it’s worth a shot.... Look we can try it you way first if it’ll makes you feel better. I need time to recharge anyways. But I’m giving you 24 hours and then I’m doing it with or without you. I would rather you come. I think you're the only one strong and determined enough to take on Puppeteer. But if I have to do it myself I will.” 

***************************

Puppeteer in his hurry to get you out didn’t think to check you for any bugs, or tracking devices. Once you were in the helicopter you took off your earrings. One you hid between the seats of the helicopter and the other you swallowed. It hurt like a bitch but you weren't taking any chances. Now all you could do was wait. Puppeteer obviously was keeping you from using your quirk. Hopefully they wouldn't drug you so you could try and reach out to Bakugo later. You were worried though because they weren't even attempting to hide where they were going. It was like Puppeteer wanted you to know. Was he setting a trap? Did he want you to tell Bakugo so he would walk right into the lions den? 

Your thought were spiraling out of control and you could feel your breathing start to tighten as an anxiety attack was surely building.

“Relax dear Y/n.. I dont want to sedate you, but if you can't control yourself then I’ll have no choice. Like I said, I want this time to be different. But that’s only if I can trust you. It’s up to you how this plays out from here. You can live comfortably and go back to doing my bidding, or you can call out for help.” 

His smirk grew evil as his heavy glare landed on you, “I have no problem killing your little boyfriend. And your punishment won't be pleasant either. I just need you alive to use your quirk... I dont need you awake. I could turn you into a comatose vegetable of a human and keep you strapped to a bed. Ready for me to come use your quirk as I wish. So if I were you... I’d think long and hard about what you do next.” 

Your stomach dropped and you wanted to throw up. This man truly was evil.

***************************

Bakugo got Ora some clean clothes and brought her to meet the others. Kirishima was looking at a screen and rubbing his neck. “Hey man, so I got some good new and some bad news. Good news is the tracking devices are still working.... bad news is they aren't in the same location.” 

Bakugo narrowed his eyes, “What? What do you mean?”

Kirishima turned the screen towards him and pointed at the two blinking red dots. “Both the earrings had trackers in them. It looks like one of them is on the move, and moving pretty quickly. The other has been at the same coordinates for about half an hour.” 

Bakugo stared at the blinking dots. One of those dots was you. “So what do we do? How do we figure out which one’s her?”

Kirishima sighed, “It could honesty be either. There’s no way to know for sure. Either she’s the moving one and the other one was dropped and left behind. Or she's the stationary one and the other one is decoy. Our only option is to split up and check out both coordinates.”

“No...” Ora stepped up, “If you plan to take them on you need a united front. You cant afford to split up.” 

Kirishima looked back and forth between Ora and Bakugo, “Who’s your friend?” 

Bakugo rolled his eyes, “Long story, she’s Y/n’s sister and she's here to help. Ora this is Kirishima, he’s my partner.”

“And best friend, he always leaves that part out...”

Bakugo growled, “Now isn't the time for jokes shitty hair..”

Kirishima softened, “Right. Sorry. So do you think there’s any chance Y/N might be able to contact you tonight? It’d be the easiest way to narrow down with one of these dots is her.” 

Bakugo shrugged, “I wouldn’t say it’s likely, but she did say that last time she found a way to fight through the drugs to reach out to me. Maybe she could do it again.” 

Kirishima nodded, “Let’s hope so. I say we take the night to regroup and make a plan. You need to go to sleep and see if she reaches out. We’ll make our final decisions in the morning.” 

As soon as Kirishima walked away Ora nudged Bakugo, “You know this is a stupid plan right? We’re waisting time. There’s no way Puppeteer would let her give away their location.” 

Bakugo grunted, “Listen we just met like an hour ago and all you’ve done is annoy the shit out of me and question my intelligence. If you weren’t Y/n’s sister I would have told you to fuck off already. Now lets go get a hotel room and get some sleep. You may think it’s a long shot but I want to be ready in case your strong, more than capable, bad ass sister, finds a way to reach me.”

Ora’s eyes remained fixed on Bakugo’s like she was an adult talking to a stubborn child. “Whatever you say, but when I said 24 hours I meant 24 hours. You have until tomorrow afternoon. Let’s go.”  

They entered the hotel room and Ora immediately flopped on one of the beds and picked up the remote to the tv. Bakugo took a seat on the end of his own bead and cleared his thought, “Not to sound mean or anything but... how are you so normal?”

Ora put down the remote and gave him a weird look, “What do you mean how am I normal?” 

Bakugo blushed a little, “Well I mean you and Y/N went through the same thing but when she found me... well it was like she had been shut in a room her whole life. You just seem like, I don’t know... normal.”

Realization flashed in Ora’s eyes, “Oh... Well from what I understand when Y/n got out it was the first and only time she had ever escaped. I on the other hand escaped a lot. I would be out for months sometimes before they’d find me and drag me back. My escaping so much is probably what made it so hard for Y/n.” 

Bakugo nodded sadly, “Okay one more question and then I’ll leave you alone and go to bed.... When you saw me today.. you immediately knew who I was and already had a plan ,if that's even what you want to call it, that included me.... how?” 

Ora threw her head back on her pillow. “I've never told anyone this so this stays between us... I may not be able to time travel to the future... but sometimes in my dreams I can see it. Its hard to tell though because sometimes they come to pass and sometimes they were just dreams. They helped me escape several times when I was younger. The only thing about you is... Well I had a dream once years ago. I had no idea who you were then but there you were. We were back to the day my dad died and everything went to shit. I don’t know what happens, but I know its possible for us to get there. I tired finding you every time I got out. Once I did.. but you were at UA then and I was too scared to tell you. Time is a very sensitive thing. You cant meddle with it too much. Things need to happen as naturally as they can. So years later Y/N found you and now here we are. It’s fait.” 

Bakugo’s head was spinning. This girl had unloaded so much on him today. He didn’t think he could take anymore or he would explode. “Thank’s for being honest with me, and thank you for at least trying to do things my way. If the time comes and we need plan B. I won't fight you on it.” 

Ora sighed in relief, “Thank you Bakugo... honestly.” A tear slipped out the corner of her eye, “The thought of getting my dad back and having my life go back to normal... its all I’ve ever wanted. For Y/n as well...” 

Bakugo just nodded, too emotional to respond. He turned over and closed his eyes. Please Y/n... please be there waiting for me.

************************

You tossed and turned in you comfortable bed. You were exhausted but you were terrified to fall asleep. Puppeteer had been so nice to you so far. Giving you clean clothes, feeding you, you even had a nice room with a huge bed. All he asked for in return was your cooperation. Would it be so bad? If it meant Bakugo lived... 

You couldn't stay awake forever and as soon as you fell asleep you felt your dreams morph into something else. All the sudden there he was, Bakugo. He ran to you and wrapped he arms around you. You hadn't done this. You hadn't brought him here. That could only mean Puppeteer did this. Not only was he letting you reach out to Bakugo, he was forcing you to... He was testing you. 

“Y/n! Shit are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you?” He held your face in between his hands and rubbed his thumb over your cheek. “We may not have much time so I need you to help me out here. Your earrings. They had trackers in them but they went in two different directions. One stopped and the other kept moving. Which one is you?!” 

You gulped. This is it. You had to make a decision. Tell him where you are and risk ruining everything... or lie and save his life. You leaned forward and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. “I’m the one that kept moving. Puppeteer found the first one and threw it from the helicopter. The second one I swallowed.” 

Bakugo kissed your forehead, “You’re a fucking genius! I’m going to find you I swear!” 

A tear slipped down your cheek, “I love you...”

Bakugo wiped away the tear quickly, “Hey dont say it like that. Like this is goodbye. I love you too Y/n and it’s because I love you that I won't rest until I get you back. I have help. I found your s-”

A loud clapping noise rang out in the dream. 

Bakugo looked around, “What’s that?”

You shook your head, “Sorry Bakugo. Somethings waking me up.”

You gripped you tighter, “No wait!”

You sat up straight in you bed to find Puppeteer sitting in the dark corner of your bedroom clapping. “Well my dear. It seems you passed my little test and gave him the wrong coordinates. It’s a shame though... you still betrayed my trust by swallowing that tracking device... 

****************************

Bakugo bolted upright breathing heavy and sweating. Ora rubbed her eyes as she turned on the bedside lamp. “What happened? Did you see her?” 

He nodded, “Yeah...” 

“Did you ask where she was?”

Again he nodded, looking angry this time, “Yeah.... and I think she lied to me.”

**************************

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[allforthecourtt]

writing prompt (if u want) : andrew and neil met before while neil was someone else and broke andrew's heart by leaving/vanishing/faking death/idfk and then neil just shows up like no ?? u are like chris or some name and u r dead what is going on and how dare u

so we’re going to pretend im not the shittiest person ever and didn’t take like a week to write this 2000 word thing but anyways hope u like it :)

(PART TWO)

—————————————————————————————–

The shock of the exy racquet crashing into Neil’s stomach was secondary to the shock that came from seeing Andrew Spear again.  While his lungs screamed for air, his brain screamed for an escape.  To run.  And never stop running again.

The edges of his vision turned as black as the shirt Andrew wore the first time they’d met those few years ago.  It had been a startlingly warm day, aided by the fact that Nathaniel and his mother had just migrated south again from Montreal.  California was everything and nothing that Nathaniel, no, Chris, had expected.  It was hot, and there was the smell of salt in the air from the Pacific Ocean – that Chris had known would be there.  He hadn’t counted on people being so open.  Maybe that’s why he was so drawn to Andrew, a spot of darkness against the ever sunny sky.  Andrew had never been an easy read.

The first time Andrew spoke to him, it was because he had gotten into a fight with a teacher.  Neil had left the classroom at the end of the day with his head down, hugging his books close to his body.  He didn’t know how long he’d stay here, but the fact that his mother had let him attend school was a good sign that they’d be in California for a while.  Still it wasn’t a good idea to make friends or have ties here.  Nobody should remember his face.

“You know,” Neil had heard him say as he passed a tree on the edge of the school’s property, “For someone who’s trying to keep a low profile you sure do love to get in a fight.”

He turned and came face to face with the blonde.  Andrew hadn’t mastered the look of complete apathy yet and his eyes revealed the tiny spark of interest Neil had put there.

“For someone who’s barely four feet tall you sure do love antagonizing people,” Neil responded.

“A talent.” Andrew narrowed his eyes. “Who are you?”

“Christopher Bassett,” Neil lied.

Andrew’s hand rubbed absent mindedly at his inner forearm, covered by long sleeves.  “No.  That’s not it.”

“That’s all there is,” Neil lied again.

“You’re a bad liar.” Neil scoffed, but Andrew ignored him and continued, “but I mean, California is supposed to be full of actors, so what’s one more, right?”

“Why do you care so much?” Neil finally snapped at him.

Andrew sighed. “Because I don’t trust you.”

“And that matters to me?” Neil asked.

“It should.”

Neil laughed under his breath.  “Okay, well, let me know when you have a real reason and maybe I’ll talk to you.” Neil turned and started to walk away from Andrew when he felt the other boy grab his arm and stop him from leaving.

“I recognize the look on your face, okay? I’m…” Andrew took a deep breath, steadying himself, “I’m a foster kid too.  I just want to…. You’re safe right?”

Neil paused, “What?”

“You’re safe, aren’t you? You… The place is safe, right?” Andrew asked quietly.

Neil’s brow furrowed as he searched Andrew’s stoic face for a reason that he’d be asking that question, but there was nothing present in his emotion.  No matter how hard Neil tried he couldn’t get a read on him.

“Yeah,” Neil finally answered, “I’m safe.”

Andrew nodded once and then released Neil’s arm from his grip before leaning back against the tree.  “I’ll see you here tomorrow,” he said.  Not quite a question, but not quite a statement either.  Neil just nodded and then started on the path towards the house he and Mary were squatting in.

He met with Andrew every day for the next month and somehow in that time the two of them had formed, if not a friendship, then a mutual understanding.  Andrew lived in theoreticals, as Neil discovered, and he spent the majority of his time with Andrew hypothesising about what they would do in the case of different situations.  Like a zombie apocalypse or something as equally stupid.  Neil didn’t actually care about the hypotheticals as much as he just enjoyed taking a break.  It was nice to think about surviving something other than his father.

One day, Neil got particularly into detail about how he would survive an attack on the school by Al Capone-like mobsters when Andrew interrupted him.

“Who are you really running from?” Andrew asked.

Neil paused, forming a lie in his head that he didn’t quite finish before blurting out the truth. “My father,” he confessed.

Andrew didn’t say anything.  He just nodded and then encouraged Neil to continue his daring attempt to save the 9th grade math teacher.  That was what Neil liked most about Andrew.  He knew when to stop pushing for answers.

About a week later Neil approached Andrew with his own theoretical when Andrew stopped him from talking with a hand over his mouth.

“Chris, I need you to just shut up and listen.  Don’t respond, because I don’t need to deal with your shit right now too.  Understand?” Neil nodded and Andrew took his hand off of his mouth.  Neil noticed how warm his skin felt under where Andrew’s contact had been, but he ignored it.

Andrew continued, “I have a brother.  An identical twin apparently.  And I don’t know what to do.  He wants to meet me but I can’t let him anywhere near this town.  He found about him.  About Aaron.  And he’s going to hurt him.  I want to see him, but… but I can’t let subject him to this.  I… I couldn’t subject anybody to this.  To him.  I need to tell him to stay the hell away from me, don’t I?  Don’t I?”

Neil blinked, taking in what Andrew was saying.  What his words were implying, and everything suddenly clicked.

“Andrew,” Neil said calmly, “You need to get out of that house.”

Andrew stared at Neil. “What?  No.  I can’t.  I can’t leave Cass.  She’s worth it.”

Neil swallowed, trying to figure out how to get Andrew through this break down.  He watched Andrew methodically fiddle with the long sleeves on his shirt and wondered silently how Andrew had been dealing with this alone.  Andrew made eye contact with Neil again and seemed to calm slightly as he took in Neil’s startled face.

“What will make this better?” Neil asked, “What do you need from me, Andrew?  Take it.”

Andrew’s hand found the back of Neil’s neck and he surged forward, pulling Neil down to meet him and clashing their lips together in the middle.  This wasn’t Neil’s first kiss, but it was the first one he ever felt like participating in.  He kept his hands at his side, unwilling to touch Andrew more than he knew was okay.  When Andrew broke away from the kiss he just glared at him before turning quickly and starting to walk away.

“Andrew,” Neil called after him, “Andrew, please.”

“I hate you,” Andrew replied without ever turning around.

Neil got back to the house late after taking time to run and clear his head.  He was confused about the kiss, and especially confused about the fact that he wanted to kiss Andrew again.  While he had expected to be chastised by Mary about being tardy, what he hadn’t expected was to have his duffle bag thrown at his face the moment he stepped the through the door and to hear Mary’s panicked, “We have to go.  Now.”

Neil froze in place. “What?”

“Abram.” Mary stepped forward and squeezed Neil’s shoulder hard enough to hurt. “We have to leave.  I saw one of his men today.  It’s only a matter of time. We have to get out.”

“But…” Neil started to object before Mary’s grip tightened enough to quiet him.

Neil’s face must have given something away because Mary sighed and loosened her hand.  “No but’s.  We can’t stay any longer,” she said, “I know you made friends and everything but we have to go.”

“Yes mom, I… I understand,” Neil said quietly, “Just let me use the bathroom first, okay?”

Mary nodded and returned to checking to make sure all of their guns were loaded.  She was so focused she didn’t even notice Neil slipping through the bathroom window and running off towards Andrew’s house.

It took a few minutes for Andrew to open his window after Neil insistently tapped on it several times.

Andrew rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he took in Neil’s state.  “What the fuck?”

“Andrew, I have to leave.” Neil’s tone was urgent. “My past found me.  So I can’t stay anymore.”

“You can’t run forever,” Andrew said softly.

“No,” Neil agreed, “I can’t.”

“So stop running.” Andrew said.

“I can’t.” Neil answered.

Andrew closed his eyes for a moment, taking time to center his thoughts.  “Who are you?” He finally asked.

“The only name I can give you is Abram,” Neil told him.  “I’m sorry, Andrew.  I really am,” he said.  And then he turned and did what he always did best.  Neil ran.

——–

Neil’s thoughts returned to the modern day with the oxygen in his lungs.  He had liked being Neil Josten.  Why did this asshole have to ruin everything?  Why did Andrew turn up every time?  Like sobriety after months of wallowing in the intoxication of a normal life.  Of an identity.  He was a somber reminder that Neil Josten didn’t exist, and could never.  A reminder that Neil could never have anything in his life.

“Fuck you,” Neil choked out between gasps.

“So where have you been for the past five years?” Andrew asked, “Running?”

Neil glared up at him.  “Surviving.”

“Dammit Minyard,” Wymack said storming into the room, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Oh, Coach, if he was nice, he wouldn’t be any use to us, would he?” Andrew said mockingly.

Neil zoned out of the rest of the conversation.  Taking the time to studying Andrew’s reaction to him.  He’d heard that Andrew had been put on medication, but seeing it was different than just knowing about it.  And it hurt to look at Andrew like that.  He looked so broken with a forced smile that could never quite reach his eyes.

“Do you know him?” Neil overhead Kevin whisper to Andrew.

Andrew scoffed.  “I’ve never met Neil Josten in my life.”

Neil walked away before the promise of the Palmetto contract could tantalize him any further.  He planned to keep walking until he left this town and the identity of Neil Josten all together but Andrew caught him in the parking lot, tossing the unsigned contract at his feet.

“I thought I told you once that eventually you’d have to stop running.” The smile had vanished from his face, as though Andrew’s system was blocking out the effects of the pills momentarily.

Neil shook his head. “I can’t, Andrew.  It’s not that simple.”

Andrew laughed, a bitter and teasing sound. “Then make it that simple.  Do you want to play exy?”

Neil took a deep breath but like he always did he told Andrew the truth that mattered, “Yes.”

“Then sign the fucking contract.”  Neil stared openly at Andrew, drinking in the sight of his face after so many years.  Thinking briefly of the only kiss his mother had never beaten him for.

“Stop that,” Andrew said suddenly.

“Stop what?” Neil asked.

“Stop looking at me like I’m your fucking answer.”

“Maybe you are.”

“Just sign the contract, Abram,” Andrew said walking away, back to the foxes. Back towards the promise of a future that was just within Neil’s grasp.  And he wanted to badly to reach out and take it.

Maybe Andrew was right.  Maybe it was time to finally stop running.  Neil took a deep breath and sat down in the parking lot outside his school, knowing full well that he’d already made the decision about what to do with the contract.  And all he needed was a pen.

[harfblarf]

more rick and morty nonsense-- this time, rest and ricklaxation

i havent seen any posts outright pointing this out so: we know that toxic morty contains a lot of morty’s insecurity-- “I don’t want to be on camera I’m ugly”, “my voice is annoying”, so on-- and that he’s scared he’s gonna be in hell, but he also outright states that he "just want[s] to die”. Also that he’s in pain. 

Other things Toxic Morty says:

“I believe you” to Rick, with no hesitation-- Morty’s occasional blind faith in his grandpa is viewed as toxic? Healthy Morty certainly doesn’t just play along with Rick’s ideas

“*screams*”-- panic

“yes rick, i-i agree rick”-- stutter, capitulation, submission, avoiding confrontation

“i think my voice is annoying” in response to rick asking what morty thinks of him discovering electricity-- vaguely self-centered in a depressive way?

“i dont like confrontation”-- yeah no kidding

“i-i dont like this, this is scary” fear, aversion to violence

“i’m a piece of shit but I got the tank” obedient, self-hating

leans on dash much like healthy morty did, looking resigned

“jesus christ it hurts”-- unlike healthy morty makes no effort to reassure others

Toxic Rick :

“you can die when I say so”-- controlling

“why am I bragging about that, I have nothing to prove”-- insecurity

“I’m surrounded by inferior pieces of shit and--” *looks at morty* LOOK IM NOT SAYING HE DOESNT VIEW MORTY AS AN INFERIOR PIECE OF SHIT I’M JUST SAYING THERES AN IMPLICATION THAT IM CHOOSING TO READ INTO. YES HE FINISHED WITH ‘TOXINS’ BUT COME ON that pause tho

hey where did toxic rick get fucking glass test tubes

*destructive tendencies*

“I’m gonna rip your throat--”-- violent boi

“you little sociopath/okay shut up morty”-- considers healthy morty a sociopath, doesn’t want to listen to morty talking about people hating him (did not shut him up previously, only now)

“don’t negotiate with that little turd, you’re the rick, you need to show dominance!” insecurity, desire for control at any cost

angry when his plan goes downhill, angry about remerging

“I got a lot more use out of that thing than he ever did” considers his sexuality a toxic thing, bound to his anger and irrational attachments?

“fuck you summer” no respect, no apology

“alright fuck this time for plan b”, but leaves beth alone

fucking throws healthy morty out of the ship. not his morty, not his problem, i guess?

brags at a very uncomfortable toxic morty

“trapped in your brain... with delusions”

“relax, quit your bitching, you’re gonna be fine... grandpa’s here”-- that same arrogance that makes him call himself a god, is what assures him that he can help toxic morty

“just do it you piece of shit!” angry but resigned to the only solution he can see (small picture)

Healthy Morty:

“mind if i put on some music?”-- considerate, nonpresumptive

the whole “one song a day” thing-- optimistic, planning, looking to the future

“if anyone could [calculate happiness], Rick”-- deep respect for Rick, respect for intelligence, flattery

“thanks rick. I love you”-- affection for his grandpa, appreciation

“if we’re all bored, wouldn’t the common denominator be you?” this is a clever joke, but it’s mean. cleverness/humor is prized above consideration and kindness

“I knew you could” and the rest of this montage-- uh so Healthy Morty provides the confidence Normal Morty is missing to a bunch of people. if that’s not symbolism idk what is; plainly Morty considers supporting and helping people Healthy

“*doesnt react to being called a loser, not even to deny it*” I wonder if this is like, self-acceptance

suave but still in an awkward way? like he drops a pickup line on jessica with an awkward forced laugh

“happy to help rick”-- but no surprise, no real emotion. like it’s forced

“bad phone, chuck it”-- acceptance of simple answers

“if something’s worth saying, it’s worth eye contact”-- considers reliance on technology unhealthy? interesting especially considering his interactions with Rick and all his tech

“you shouldn’t have to deal with that, man”-- curiously, despite making it his job to stop other people from being in pain (helping all his schoolmates), he advises against helping the Toxins

“I think i know what to do. *snaps phone in half*” destruction of property, choosing simple solutions

“things are good... taking that away from me? that wouldn’t be healthy.” manipulation, selfishness, self-preservation

“world’s greatest grandpa, for reals” more manipulation

awkward chattering, spouting shallow wisdom

“pronounce it however you want, words are just things” lack of judgement

“please, thank you, we’re having a conversation”-- shoos away the waiter to make jessica less awkward, being rude to the waiter in the process. singleminded, simplistic solutions

extended metaphor of jessica to a planet, including some like very specific shit, “what’s the equator, what are the holidays”

“talk to me.” demanding, assertive

really... loud? and aggressive, and awkward and emotive; very little self-control

lacking attachments, passions, “life is a highway”, “no sparks no damage”

...really long metaphors with stacey too. u ok morty?

“bad parts of us, which includes our dishonesty” (emphasis mine); morty has no question that deceit is bad. of course, that’s what a manipulative little shit who believes in lying “for good reason” would say, too, so.

stacey will “do anything for you morty”? weird, probably more evidence of his manipulation. quickly earned her devotion

“kill him rick!” morty considers his violence and willingness to retaliate “healthy”

bites toxic morty-- willing to use unfair/dirty fighting techniques just like toxic rick did

also grinning while he attacks him

casually stops and leans on the dash, blank-faced, when beth appears. again, no passion, no emotion at all

also healthy morty was in the driver’s seat and only settled once he was in control

“we gotta stop him”

the one to explain why Healthy Rick shot Toxic Morty again

“you’re a better man than me Rick, I’m healthy enough to admit that”-- healthy morty to regular rick. what does it say that both toxic and healthy morty view rick as superior? man, that’s kinda fucked, even if healthy morty’s actions here are totes dickish

“have I ever lied to you? that’s right, and ask around, I never do” manipulaaaaaation

uses jessica as yet another extended metaphor

draws attention, revels in it, offers falsely specialized attention to people to earn and keep their affection (the wink, the friendliness with “dwayne”)

“red pill or blue pill”

“totally understand dwayne, you’re the boss”, then cuts to... jargon that makes his coworkers happy. i strongly suspect at least part of a lie here, or an omission of truth

the boy is really obsessed with organic carrots, who knows why

“is that how long it takes for rick to trace my location” but he’s smiling, not scowling, he’s... at best amused, at worst unbothered, i guess?

“you miss someone that loved you so much you never had to love ‘em back” holy shit morty

“you didn’t hang up”--”huh. how ‘bout that.” then to surprise into mild consternation when the fucking voltron drones show up

“do what you gotta do”-- despite not wanting it, recognizes the inevitability of rick getting him to remerge

apparently healthy morty told his girlfriend that he was “capitalizing on his lack of conscience by becoming a stockbroker”. interesting

Healthy Rick:

“heheh, this universe”-- considers the universe impressive/beautiful/awe-inspiring (compare to ‘the universe is a crazy chaotic place’)

“that is an interesting concept... listen to me, trying to calculate happiness over here”-- respectful of others’ ideas, still brilliant and trying to improve on them, recognizing that math/science isn’t the solution to everything

“here’s something no science could measure: i’m real proud to be your grandpa, morty”-- pride in his grandson, acknowledging the limits of science

“morty, a moment of your time?”-- so polite hot damn

“what if the toxic parts of us have their own identities-- their own will to live?”-- inherent respect for the value of life

“i’m accountable to my toxins”-- considers responsibility and facing it healthy

“locked ‘em in a cage *hits it while smiling as toxic rick swears*” my guy what the fuck; theoretical emotion, no actual immediate empathy

upset, sad about toxic rick’s deception

“sorry summer” considerate, apologetic

“summer get out of here, go”

“we can resolve our issues, we don’t need to resort to over-the-top--”

“just leave her out of this”

“it’s okay girls, i’m so sorry” takes the time to be reassuring and apologetic when danger is still afoot for the world, offers to cook??

“not our right to stop them”

“your morty”/”i know you give a shit dummy, because I know I don’t”-- i think this is again about “not my morty not my problem”, and that Healthy Rick doesn’t care about Toxic Morty

“merge with me and you’ll know how to save him”... except once they merge there is no saving him, is there? just preservation to merge him with Healthy Morty

“I had all my problems removed-- my entitlement, my narcissism, my crippling loneliness, my irrational attachments” -- things healthy rick considers unhealthy are identified, but he’s still doing this in part because healthy morty insisted it was the right choice, and he’s still proud to be morty’s grandpa

“you’re literally incapable of seeing the bigger picture” so large-scale thinking is considered healthy?

“if i ever gave you the wheel, we’d be dead in five minutes” and isn’t that true, because toxic rick is willing to sacrifice himself for morty, and is too arrogant to think anyone is a threat to him? he would get morty AND himself killed if toxic rick was always in charge. no, letting toxic rick guide him is inevitable, but being controlled by him is unacceptable

Regular Rick: 

“man i really overthink shit when I’m angry”

“now it’s time we re-merge your little ass” interestingly his priorities were a) fix planet (what morty asked him to do), b) remerge morty (save toxic morty)

“that kid is a real piece of shit” (about healthy morty only)

“part of me really wanted to [save you], toxic morty. part of me really wanted to.” 

“tiny american psycho”

“kept asking ‘did you get a new morty yet?’“/”because you kept drunk-dialing me and crying about it!”/”I WASN’T CRYING” /in the background “I didn’t care” (what a liar)

Conclusion: as funny as most of this episode is, it strikes me that what Rick considers unhealthy, Morty considers healthy. Healthy Morty is violent, lacking a conscience, manipulative, domineering, sexual, and lacking in passion and attachments (he does, after all, abandon his family, not just Rick, for three weeks). Yes, he’s also less of a coward, not suicidal, and helpful, but compare to Healthy Rick. Healthy Rick is similarly lacking in passion and attachments, but he’s nonviolent, honest, less arrogant and less willing to impose his will on the world, nonsexual, and calm. Everything Healthy Rick isn’t, Healthy Morty is. It’s a fascinating insight into how Rick’s lies and denial are fucking up Morty’s perception of what is “healthy” and what isn’t. He has come to view violence, foul play, manipulation, lack of emotion/conscience, and dominance as valuable skills, even necessities, instead of the shameful attributes Rick views them as.