#saw this episode again the other day and realized it was going to be 10 years and then yesterday i saw that no one talked about it

[memorizethisday]

January 29, 2013: 10 years of season 2 episode 15 'Cooler'

[vbecker10]

My Best Friend...

Part 2 of 2 (Part 1 here)

Pairing: Loki x plus size female reader (y/n)

Warnings: angst (of course), self depreciating thoughts, feeling inadequate, issues with self image, low self worth... but I promise lots of fluff - let me know if I forgot anything 💚

Summary: What you thought would be a relaxing girls night quickly turns into an interrogation by Nat and Wanda about your non-existent relationship with Loki. After denying you are anything other then friends for as long as you can, you finally tell them how you really feel about him... and why you know he will never feel the same. The night goes from bad to worse when you realize Loki overheard you talking to them and you try to hide from him.

A/N: I know I promised this would be all fluff but you should know not to listen to me lol also... I know this part got really long, I didn't want to make it three parts though

Tag List: A lot of people asked to be tagged in the second part of this which is amazing but I'm not sure if you want to be tagged in my other Loki fics as well so please let me know 💚

Dividers by: @harlequin-hangout

You leave the common room in a hurry and head down one long hallway then another. Stopping short at the end of the hall, you realize in your haste to get away from Loki and your friends, you've gone in the wrong direction. Instead of going towards the elevators so you could make your escape from the Tower, you found yourself at the library. You curse under your breath and wonder how you could be this careless. Turning around slowly, you know the only way to get to the elevators is to go back the way you came.

Your phone vibrates as you stand in front of the tall door, deciding if you should go in and try to hide here for the night or go back and risk running into Nat and Wanda or worse, Loki. Checking your phone, you see 10 new messages in your group chat as well as a missed call from both Wanda and Nat. Your finger hovers over the chat but you don't open it, you know they are worried about you but you can't talk to anyone right now. You just want to pretend the whole night never happened.

Turning off your phone, you take a deep breath then push open the door to the library. Wandering slowly through the large room, you make your way up one aisle of books and down another. You try not to think of how much the space reminds you of Loki but it is nearly impossible to keep him out of your thoughts. You make your way towards the back of the library, the part that reminds you of him the most. When you reach the last aisle you can't help but pause, remembering the last time you were here with him.

One day last week, Loki and you had made plans to get takeout and watch the final few episodes of a TV show you had both become overly invested in. He hadn't responded to your text about what he wanted to order so you went to his room but he wasn't there. You smiled to yourself, knowing exactly where he would be hiding as you headed down to the library. He would spend hours reading in the furthest corner with a cup of tea forgotten about but kept warm by his magic. Everyone on the team knew he was not to be interrupted when he was there, it was his escape after a difficult mission or a disagreement with his brother. This rule didn't apply to you however, Loki had made it clear to you that you were always welcome.

When you found him, he was sitting on the end of one of the couches reading a thick leather bound book. It was easy to see how lost he was in the story, his eyes shifted back and forth as he read the words quickly before turning the page. You leaned against one of the shelves watching him silently, not wanting to disturb him. After a few moments, he looked up and saw you waiting for him. He closed the book and apologized for losing track of time, he had meant to reply to your message but he wanted to finish the chapter he was reading.

You laughed, "How many chapters ago was that?"

He opened the book again and began to flip backwards, closing it with a smirk, "Six."

You moved to sit next to him then you picked up the book from where he had set it on the table. "What's it about?" you asked curiously as you looked at the foreign words on the pages.

When he finished telling you about the book you were hooked and quickly asked if he could help you find a copy in English you could read. His face fell slightly at your request and he responded, "Unfortunately, it is one that I brought from my personal library on Asgard." He paused, noticing how disappointed you looked. After a moment he smiled and said, "I could read it to you if you'd like."

You shake the memory away, Loki is supposed to start reading the story to you tomorrow but that might never happen now. Your heart begins to pound in your chest as you hear the door to the library slowly open and close with a light thud. Staying completely still and silent, you wait for someone to speak but instead you hear heavy footsteps and know instantly they don't belong to Nat or Wanda, it's Loki.

"Y/N, are you in here?" he calls out from the front of the library.

At first you don't respond, hoping he will go away but then you hear him coming closer. You walk backwards until your back hits a wall and you slide down so you are sitting against it. You hear him come to a stop a few aisles from you and at first you are unsure what he is doing. You bite your lip anxiously but then you hear your own voice, it's your voicemail message. He groans in frustration as he hangs up without leaving a message. His footsteps begin again, still coming closer as he makes his way down the next aisle.

"Y/N?" he tries again, you can hear the concern in his voice while he looks for you. "I know you didn't leave the Tower," he says and you curse yourself again for having made a wrong turn.

"Please... just go away Loki," you finally respond and his movement stops.

"Can we talk?" he asks over the shelves of books. You shake your head even though you know he can't see you. "I just need to know you are ok," he says.

"I'm fine," you answer with a sniffle as you wipe your eyes. You hadn't realized you had begun crying again.

He sighs, "I don't need to be the God of Lies to know that isn't true." He waits to see if you will answer and when you don't he starts to walk towards you again.

His footsteps become louder and slower when he reaches the aisle you are hiding in. He doesn't say anything and you don't look up, still hoping he will leave but you know now he won't. Instead you feel him sit next to you on the ground and gently place one arm around you, his hand slowly moving up and down your upper arm. You can't help but lean into him, allowing him to pull you closer.

Your mind wanders back to the only time you had ever hugged Loki in the six months you've known each other. A few days after you had begun talking everyday he had to leave for a mission and was gone for a little over a week. The data retrieval mission was ultimately labeled a success despite the intel being outdated and Loki getting injured. Thankfully, it was a shallow wound and he healed before the jet landed at the compound but that didn't stop you from worrying about him. You hadn't meant to hug him but the minute you saw him, you ran up to him and wrapped your arms around him tightly, telling him you were glad he was back. For an agonizingly long second, he didn't hug you back and you thought you had done something wrong but then his tall frame relaxed and he leaned down to hug you back. You could have stayed like that forever, closing your eyes as you pressed your cheek to his chest. Suddenly his phone began to ring and his hand left your back so he could talk to whichever woman he was supposed to see that weekend. As soon as he answered the call, you let go of him and walked quietly to your office, not looking back to see if he noticed you had gone.

Your memory caused you to shift uncomfortably and Loki loosened the gentle hold he had of you, allowing you to pull away. You look away from him and say again, "I'm fine, you don't have to stay."

"You are not fine and I'm not leaving," he says in a soothing voice as he touches your cheek lightly, wiping away your tears. "We can talk or we can sit here in silence all night, it is up to you," he tells you and you nod at the choices.

You sniffle and clear your throat before asking, "How... how much did you hear Loki?"

He rubs his hands together slowly, a gesture you know he only does when he is anxious, "I heard Wanda bring up Exhibit B and... I'm sorry I know I should have left, I did not plan on interrupting your girls night but I was curious." Your mouth falls open in disbelief, you had hoped he only heard the end of your rant about being in love with him, but he had heard almost everything the three of you talked about. You sit in silence next to him, not sure what to say so he continues. "Rogers and I completed our mission early and I only went to the common room to let you know I was back. I wanted to see you for just a moment, I've missed you so much the last two days," he says.

You look up at him, your mind trying to register what he had said. Loki had never told you he missed you before, even when he had been away on longer missions.

"I have to admit, I thought it was a bit silly that Natasha and Wanda were so adamant that we were dating in secret because-" he starts to explain.

"Because you would obviously never date me," you interrupt him without thinking. "Because you wouldn't want to be with someone who looked like me," you say as you cross your arms over your chest and look down. "I know, you only date tall, skinny, beautiful women and I am not one of them, it was pathetic of me to even pretend you might be vaguely interested in me."

"No, Y/N, that's not why," he says firmly but he can tell you aren't listening to him. "Please, look at me love."

The pet name is almost too much for you at the moment, you get up from the floor as quickly as you can without saying a word. You take a few steps away from him but stop when you feel his fingers close around your wrist. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I ever said anything," you whisper as you look at the ground. "I should have just kept my stupid feelings to myself, I've ruined everything."

Loki pulls on your wrist slightly causing you to turn towards him as he walks closer to you. He stands directly in front of you, his other hand strokes your cheek then follows your jawline until he can gently lift your chin. You look up at him and he smiles in return then suddenly your heart begins to race as you realize Loki is closing the distance between your lips and his. He kisses you softly, his hand never leaving your chin while his other hand lets go of your wrist and settles on your lower back.

When his lips leave yours, you look up at him in utter shock and he chuckles lightly, "Can I speak now?" All you can do is nod as you search for words. "The reason I thought it was silly, is because if we were dating," he says with a smirk, "I would never keep it a secret. I would want everyone to know that you are mine and I am yours." You stare at him still not able to form a proper sentence.

"Do you know why I never go on dates anymore?" he asks after a moment of silence passes between you.

You shrug, finally able to speak again as he removes his hand from your chin but not your back, "Not really, it was right after we started hanging out. We never talked about it but... I just assumed you were tired of Steve and Tony telling you to slow down before you slept with every woman in New York City or because Fury would get really angry when your dates ended up in the tabloids."

"I would need to value the opinion of the three of them if either of those were the real reason," he says and you look at him confused.

"I'm not sure why then," you admit.

"I stopped going out because I had no need of them, I found someone I wanted to be with for more than just one night," he tells you. "Do you remember the first night we spent time together, just the two of us?" You nod and he smiles. "Gods, you were so adorably nervous when you asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with you. I never told you this but I was looking forward to it so much, I forgot to cancel my date that night. I had several very angry text messages when I finally checked my phone the next morning."

Before you can stop yourself you ask, "Wait, you want me to believe that you were so excited to watch a movie with me, you literally forgot to text a super model back?"

He corrects you, "I'm not sure if that one was a model or an actress, they all blurred together after a while and I honestly couldn't tell you the name of the movie we watched either." He pauses, taking note of your growing confusion. "Y/N, I had been wanting to get to know you outside of our few work interactions since you started at SHIELD and when you asked me to spend time with you, I was thrilled but also a bit shocked."

You look down at your shoes and whisper, "Nat dared me."

"She what?" he asks.

"Nat knew I had a crush on you so she dared me to talk to you more," you tell him. "She suggested we watch a movie but I told her you would be busy with more interesting things and there was no way you would ever agree to it... but then you did and I kinda panicked. I almost didn't show up for the movie but Nat practically dragged me to the common room. I'm glad she did though, cause otherwise we never would have gotten to be friends," you say with a laugh but your smile fades when you see he isn't smiling back. "Loki?" you ask.

"I've wanted to be more than your friend for so long Y/N but no matter how hard I try, you never let me in. Even something as simple as wanting to give you a compliment. You would come back with a sarcastic comment or a self-deprecating joke to bring yourself down. I don't like how you talk about yourself, love," he says.

"That's my defense mechanism," you tell him. "I- I thought you were just a shameless flirt because of the stories I've heard from Thor and the fact that you call everyone darling. When you say I'm beautiful or perfect I just- I would make jokes to remind myself that I wasn't either of those things and it was just your personality."

"But you are Y/N both of those things and more," he tells you and you can feel a blush creep across your cheeks. "Calling women darling is nothing more than an old habit," he touches your warm cheeks and you look up at him. "You are the only one I call love," he reminds you with a smile.

You can't help but giggle at the pet name he uses so frequently with you, "I had noticed that but I thought-"

"Stop," he says softly. "No more excuses," he urges and you nod.

"Y/N", he says seriously, "You are everything I have ever wanted. I love that I can spend hours on end talking to you or we can simply sit together and read in comfortable silence. It makes me feel lucky to know you worry about me when I am on missions and you are here, waiting for me to return. We have so many similar interests but you still manage to teach me new things constantly. I can't tell you how much I enjoy seeing this city with you every weekend and I wish I could bring you to see Asgard one day. I want to spend every minute I can with you," he pauses to chuckle lightly, "That's part of why I insist on you staying the night so often. I sleep better when you are the last person I see at night and the first person I see in the morning. You are caring and quirky, intelligent, sweet and you are perfect."

You stand in front of Loki in silence as your heart feels like it is about to explode with excitement. You smile from ear to ear, having never in your wildest dreams thought this was possible.

He puts his arms around you and pulls you flush against him. "I cannot believe you thought something as trivial as your weight would keep me from falling in love with you," he says.

You can't help but shrug, "I guess it sounds kinda silly when you say it like that."

He smiles, one hand firmly on your lower back while his other hand runs up and down your arm lightly. You look up at him, your arms around his waist. "I want to date you Y/N," he says simply.

"I would really, really like that," you tell him and he laughs at how excited you sound. He leans down to kiss you again and this time you kiss him back. When he breaks the kiss, his fingers gently follow the chain of your necklace until he is holding the charm in his hand.

"This is very pretty, my love, but I would like to make one small adjustment to it. Would you mind?" he asks and you nod, curious to see what he will do to it.

He closes his fingers around the small gold flower and a green glow spreads over his knuckles. When he opens his hand a few seconds later, the clear stone that was in the center of the flower is now a deep emerald green, the same shade as Loki's cape. You smile and say, "Green is my favorite color."

He chuckles, "I know, it's one of the many things I love about you." You kiss his cheek and thank him, he knew you had wanted the necklace with a green stone but the artist had sold out of those before you could buy one.

You take Loki's hand and bite your lip, "Um, so it's pretty late."

He smiles, "It is."

"Should I stay with you tonight?" you ask Loki.

"I think that would be a fantastic idea," he answers.

The two of you walk quietly through the Tower, back to his room still holding hands tightly. He opens the door to his apartment and lets you walk in first. As soon as he closes the door he puts one arm around your waist and pulls you close to him again. He leans down to kiss you then suddenly he picks you up. You giggle in surprise and put your arms around his neck as he carries you through the living room towards his bedroom, his lips never leaving yours. He walks towards the bed then turns so he can fall onto it backwards with you on top of him.

As soon as his back hits the mattress you pull back from the kiss and instinctively try to move off of him. He lets go of you with one arm but keeps the other around you loosely. He moves your hair behind your ear and is concerned by your sudden change in expression.

"Have I done something wrong? We can stop, I didn't mean to go too far," he says in a worried tone.

"No, no, it's nothing you did," you say as you look away from him. "It's just... I'm too big to be on top of you like this. My ex used to complain about it, he said I was too heavy and-"

Loki kisses your cheek softly, stopping you mid-sentence. He makes sure you are looking into his eyes and he smiles. "Y/N... I carried you here," he says. "And I laid down first so I would be under you."

You blink slowly as you look at him beneath you, "You did."

"Which means..." he starts, hoping you will finish his thought.

"Which means... you don't think I'm too heavy?" you ask slowly.

"My love, I don't know many things about your ex but I do know that he never deserved you if that is how he spoke to you," he says. "You don't need to worry about that pathetic mortal anymore. You belong to a... how did you put it? Ah yes, a freaking prince and a god," he laughs a bit and you can't help but smile when he says you belong to him. "You know, I think I might have a talk with my brother about having my official title adjusted."

You giggle and bury your face in the crook of his neck, finally relaxing and allowing your body to settle onto Loki's. He hugs you tightly and whispers, "I need you to remember something for me Y/N, I don't love you because of your body or in spite of it, I love you wholly and completely, every part of you because you are perfect." You nod, taking in his words as he runs his fingers through your hair. "I will not let anyone speak ill of my queen," he tilts your chin so you are looking at him, "And that includes you. I want you to tell me if these ugly thoughts return to that beautiful mind of yours."

"I promise," you tell him quietly and he guides your lips back to his.

"We should probably get some sleep," Loki says and you agree. "Should I sleep on the couch or..." he pauses. You don't move from where you are laying and mumble with your eyes closed. "I have no idea what you said," he laughs.

"I want to cuddle," you say clearer, picking your head up a bit.

"Cuddles it is," he agrees with a smile.

The two of you get under the covers after quickly putting on clothes to sleep in. Loki lays on his back and you curl up with your head on his chest again, listening to his heartbeat as you close your eyes.

He kisses the top of your head while his fingers trace small circles on your back. "You know," he says quietly, "There is something else Nat and Wanda were right about.

"Hmm?" you mumble, barely listening to him as you drift off to sleep.

"Well, it does seem silly for you to keep paying rent on your apartment when you could just live here with me," he says.

You sit up just as he shuts the light off. "Goodnight love," he says with a smirk.

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[lurkingshan]

Cherry Magic Episode 10

They tried it again this week with adding another restriction on this show, but we shall persevere! The rest of the episodes are apparently going to be behind a paywall on Viu on air date, and then become free access the following day. The upside to paying the small premium membership fee is we can finally see Tay Tawan in 1080p as god intended (and pro tip: there do not seem to be any screen limits, buy one account and split it amongst friends).

With all that figured out, we got to another excellent episode of this show! Big, big relationship growth for Achi and Karan this week, as they learned that hiding their real feelings and desires from each other doesn't help them (and gave us an A+ forehead kiss parallel). I loved the nuance of it all, too—Karan was lying about sitting outside Achi's house every night and trying to hide how sad he was about Achi missing Loy Krathong, but he also genuinely had no anger toward Achi about it and was just trying to make things easier for him. And Achi was telling Karan he wanted the practice time apart (honestly, horrible idea boys, your time together is precious) while secretly hoping Karan would come see him anyway. In relationships, you can't claim to want one thing while secretly hoping for another and expect that to pan out for you.

And I love that Achi did realize that, and that he does trust Karan even despite these little white lies, and that this time, he had to step up and be the one to make the grand gesture to make sure Karan knows he loves him and will miss him. Roping in the office gang to help pull off the surprise was a fun turn of events, and I love that his confidence has grown enough that he can ask for that help without being embarrassed. They're going to be fine through this separation, and when they are back together I look forward to the show addressing the elephant in the room, because when they were walking together on their date I couldn't help but notice that they would have been holding hands were it not for the barrier Achi's powers present. They need to be able to have intimacy while maintaining privacy and mental space, and we know what needs to happen to get there!

I also loved the Jinta/Min story this episode, and that we got to see Jinta do a much less dignified version of Karan's pining. The plot about fans shipping Min with his dance partner was new and felt like exactly the kind of thing that would come up in his career, and that Jinta would flail over. I like that Min saw exactly what was going on and called him on it. The irony of Jinta being the one who can read minds but Min being the one who actually understands everything happening between them is delicious. And Jinta showed up for him in a big way after his loss by not only affirming how he sees Min, but showing Min that he still has fans who feel the same way. Excellent boyfriend behavior from our friend Jinta.

As for Rock and Pai, it looks like we'll be getting our final answer there next week, but given that Pai continues to be uninterested in romance and focused on her work and her hobbies, I don’t think it will go the way Rock hopes. He is barking up the wrong tree (his instincts for romance are clearly NOT strong, given he had no idea Achi and Karan were a couple), and I am hopeful that Pai will tell him so next week.

[dotster001]

My Drowning Heart

Summary:Azul x gn!reader Azul helps you down from a depressive episode.

CW: This is based on my personal depressive symptoms! If this is concerning or distressing to you, please do not read! We all have different ways of coping and that is okay!

A/N: Azul/Octotrio was most requested when I asked, but I have saved the other suggestions so when I have my next depressive episode wave of inspiration, I'll go there next.

Vil's Version

One week.

That was how long it had been since anyone had seen or heard from you or Grim. After sending Jade to…ahem….interrogate various students, a couple people had spotted Grim in the kitchen or right outside Ramshackle, but aside from that, nothing.

He was definitely starting to sound desperate in his text messages to you. The current chat record read as follows.

Sunday 8:32 am

Good morning. One of our servers has called in sick, would you be willing to fill in? Your services would be fairly compensated.

Sunday 10:29 pm

It is not like you to ignore my job offers? Did you get yourself into some trouble? We can help you out, at a lovely discount.

Tuesday 3:15 pm

Your friends say they haven't seen you in a couple of days. Is everything alright?

Wednesday 9:10 am

I must admit I am beginning to feel some concerns for your absence.

Wednesday 12:15 pm

Is everything alright?

Thursday 3:20 pm

Floyd saw Grim this morning, but he rushed back into your dorm very fast. Is everything okay? If you've been kidnapped, delete this message and send two smiley faces.

Thursday 3:25 pm

That wasn't my best idea. If you're reading this, kidnapper, I can negotiate. I can make you a deal you can't refuse.

Thursday 4:39 pm

My patience is wearing thin. You have 24 hours.

Thursday 5:05 pm

Give me back my Y/N!

Friday 8:00 am

Grim if you have their phone please delete my prior messages. Some specialty tuna will be waiting for you upon your return to class.

After finding out from Idia that he couldn't delete his pathetic messages without your phone, he took a good hard look at himself, and realized all the texts showed his deep concern for you. 

So, swallowing his pride, he decided to investigate at the last known location of Grim. Ramshackle dorm.

He arrived, making a polite knock. Nothing. He knocked again. Nothing. He began pounding on the door with his fist. A wide eyed Grim opened the door.

"Good afternoon, I'm looking for your other half," Azul said, calmly sidestepping around Grim, and beginning to make a beeline towards the stairs.

"What are you doing here? You're not welcome, sketchy octopus…"

"I'm here because I'm concerned about Y/N. It's alright if you don't want me to see them, but are my fears correctly founded?"

Grim froze for a moment, his eyes flickering to the stairs then back to Azul.

"They…they said they were tired and it would pass soon. Don't worry about it."

Azul raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine, I don't believe they're just tired. They don't leave the bed except to take care of me, and even then they don't take care of themselves. So I gotta get em food or they won't eat."

"Have they," he stuttered and adjusted his glasses to hide his pink cheeks, "Have they communicated or messaged anyone?"

"No, they only opened their phone to turn on a video, and they keep watching the same three videos over and over. Ace called three times and Y/N ignored all three."

"Hmph," Azul muttered to himself. He then pulled out a can of deluxe tuna. "There's more of these waiting for you in the VIP room. I'll take care of things from here."

Grim looked doubtful, and Azul sighed.

"Believe it or not, I am not an utterly heartless creature. I have grown concerned for the prefect's well being. Now go get your tuna, and I will have them back to a normal state in no time."

Grim's eyes wandered up the stairs again, and he put his paws on his hips.

"Okay, but if they are broken when I return, the Great Grim won't hesitate to avenge his henchhuman!"

And with that he scampered out of Ramshackle. Azul took a calming breath, then proceeded up the stairs, until he heard a low volume video behind one of the doors. 

"Good afternoon, prefect," he said quietly as he peaked in. He was met with your tired, confused, eyes. 

"Azul?" You croaked out, before looking down at your phone and wincing. "Fuck, I gotta get Grim his dinner."

"I've already taken care of that," he said sitting down on the bed. "Tell me, how are you?"

"Tired."

"That's all?"

"Yeah."

"Hm," he pursed his lips, before nodding to himself. "Tell you what, I will pay to fix the second floor windows, if you get out of bed, and take a shower or a bath."

You groaned, before putting the pillow over your head.

"I'm too tired to shower."

"I'll fix all the windows."

"That's not gonna make me less tired."

He massaged his temples, before sighing heavily.

"I will get the shower ready, pick out a new set of pajamas for you, and brush your hair after. All you have to do, is get in."

"And get clean…"

"You don't have to if you don't want to. Just getting in will help you a lot. If you're not up to getting clean, that's alright, start with an attainable goal."

You groaned before, "Fine. Tell me when the shower is ready."

"As you wish."

He stood up, found the shower and got it running, making sure the temperature would be reasonable for a human. He then whispered a spell, causing the shower to have the calming scent of lavender.

He retrieved you, and walked you to the bathroom, before returning to your room to tidy up while you sat under the water. He'd never been in your room before, but he was certain it wasn't usually this…uniquely decorated. Two bags full of trash later, he changed the sheets, brought you that new set of pajamas, and set to work finding your hair brush. He also procured a large glass of water.

After you were dressed, you reentered your room.

"How was it?" He asked, genuinely hoping you were feeling better. 

"I used some body wash on my torso," you said, not making eye contact.

"That's great! That's a huge start."

You mumbled under your breath, but he cut you off.

"No really, that's great. I know how hard it is to take care of yourself…" he trailed off before more of the forbidden lore came up. 

You gave him a small smile, before looking around the room. 

"Did you clean? It looks great."

"Naturally," he smirked. "Now have a seat, I'll brush your hair out."

You sat down and he handed you the glass of water.

"Drink all of this while I brush your hair," you groaned, but he cut you off, "I mean it, prefect. You need to make sure you stay hydrated."

You sat down with a pout, and slowly began to drink the water as he got to work detangling your rat's nest of hair. He paused for a second.

"Y/N," he asked softly, after noticing you were drifting off. "Is there something you're supposed to be taking?" 

You stiffened, before nodding.

"I can talk to Professor Crewel about getting you something, if that's alright?"

You nodded again, and he resumed brushing your hair.

"It's too quiet," you whispered at some point.

For a moment, he wasn't sure what to do. What could he do or say that would drown out the voices in your head? 

"My love, my love, my fearless love, I will not say goodbye."

He began to sing softly under his breath. He knew his voice was exceptional. He just hoped it was good enough for you.

"Sea may rise, sky may fall, my love will never die."

Your shoulders relaxed, and you set the empty glass to the side. He finished your hair at the same time. He came around to the front of the chair, and knelt before you.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Yeah, Grimmy got me a big lunch. He's a good boy," you said, eyes tearing up a little.

"I'm not strong enough for him. I can't even go to class. How am I supposed to function in the real world?"

Oh shit. You were crying now. After a second of hesitation, he wrapped you tightly in his arms, and allowed you to cry on his shoulder. As the crying began to  lessen he whispered,

"I'm sure a lot of people tell you this, but I swear to you, it really does get easier. And one day," he inhaled sharply, holding back his own painful memories, "One day, this will just be a moment in your past that you look back on when you are thinking about how good your life has become."

"You promise?" You sniffled.

"I'm so certain, that I'll make a contract with you that you get all my money if I'm wrong."

You laughed a little, then sighed.

"I'm tired."

"Are you tired or tired."

"I'm actually tired," you said with a half hearted smile.

"Alright, I made up the bed for you, so you can lay down if you want."

He helped you into the bed, tucked you in, and made to leave when you grabbed his wrist.

"Can…can you stay with me?" You hesitated, before rushing the next part, "you don't have to, I just…"

But he was already removing his jacket and tie before getting in with you. He wrapped his arms around you and snuggled in.

"Like that?"

"Yeah," you said, looking flustered, "like that."

Your eyes fluttered shut, and pretty soon your breathing evened out. He was starting to drift off himself when he noticed your phone sitting on a side table. All his messages to you came rushing back to him. He slowly started to work himself out of the bed. Or he was, until you whimpered and tightened your grip on him in your sleep.

He sighed to himself. He supposed he could indulge in this moment now, and delete the messages tomorrow. Though he couldn't help but hope that when you were better, he could have this opportunity more often….

....

Post Note: The song I referenced in this piece and in the title. It's on my mermaid's playlist so when I was trying to decide what our merman would sing, I thought it was perfect!

[nozunhinged]

7 BL Newbie Moments of 2023 That Altered My Brain Chemistry

So I went through all my posts since the beginning of this journey and as much as I love dumping my insanity here without context or any punctuation, I feel that a lot of my fav moments deserve a bit more love and structure.

But first I need to put a bit of context so you won't be like "who the hell do they think they are" (aside from delusional I'm nothing, I promise) and my anxious overexplainer-heart is silenced.

My first BL TV show was Only Friends and only 5 months later I'm already throat deep into it (sorry). My watchlist is so endless that I sometimes (no, regularly) genuinely fear for my sanity. I'm still learning all the names and production houses but does that stop me from starting 10 other shows? NOPE.

I'm not new to queer fan spaces (avid manga reader since the yaoi days, my first ship was taito from digimon) but I am most definitely new to the brainrot levels these shows gave me.

And believe it or not, even though my shipper heart is over a decade old, I'm new to Tumblr and the fuel this platform added to the fire could burn down entire continents.

ANYWAYS if you're still here — please enjoy Noz's 100% self-indulgent moments!

1. The End And The Beginning - Only Friends

All I did was mindlessly scroll through the tumblr trends, no idea about how this website works, still sour and sad about the loss of my twitter bubble thanks to the elopocalypse—little did I know that fate would lead me to the wonderful world of BL shows! It was like this moment in isekai-esque movies where you get sucked into a world and you go WOOAAH once you arrive.

There was this show—on YouTube—100% unapolagetic about sex, relationships and queerness. Five minutes into the first episode, someone asks if they can bring their boyfriend to a hookup. This was ALL of my wildest dreams come true! Oh boy, was I naive.

I feel like Only Friends had me speedrun the whole BL industry. Branded pairs, production houses, fanservice, obsessive fans & haters, audience reactions influencing the storyline, EVERYTHING happened during Only Friends and I was just like "what the hell is going on here?" It was like the perfect case study for literally everything. Honestly I still don't really understand what's going on.

Unfortunately, this also led to the awful ending I erased from my brain and don't want to get into, I'm just gonna say Boston I will never forgive the writers for what they did to you. I dropped that show like a hot potato, filtered all possible tags and moved on — or so I thought.

I feel like I'm trying to recreate that first excitement when I discovered OF. But 20 shows later, I'm still not there. Does this make me sound like an addict? Yes, and this is why Only Friends EP 1 is my No. 1 moment that altered my brain chemistry.

2. The Boeing Incident - Only Friends

I talked about it just yesterday and I need to do it again because Boeing was the beginning of a thing that thought I'd never be capable of: lusting after real person TV characters. I talked about it in length here and here so the only thing I'm gonna add just for good measure is that I'd do anything, anything for a BostonBeoingNOZ threesome. Holy shit I'm cringing just writing this down but I need to get my point across.

3. Still Looking For That Kiss - Love in The Air

I know this is a general experience at this point but the chemistry between the couples in Love In The Air opened a whole knew world for me. I thought I knew chemistry but when I saw them, I realized I knew NOTHING.

It may sound weird but I'm still looking for that perfect kiss that's hitting all the right neurons in my brain. I have a hunch that one of these two pairs will deliver them one day, but until then I NEED to watch a million kisses for research.

This post by @talistheintrovert explains perfectly what I think about kissing in shows. Ji Chang Wook is still the blueprint for me.

But do I have a favorite BL kiss so far? Yes, yes I do. It's this ShinPeach beauty.

4. Main Lead Syndrome - Kiseki: Dear To Me

I am a second lead, side couple enby before I am human but I will defend these two until the end of time. My TL is flooded with Chen Yi, Ai Di, Nat and Louis while these two are over here falling in love over strawberry cake, cat analogies, failed cooking and all sorts of memory loss. Zongyi opened a fucking bakery for his babygirl and Zerui pretended to be a pretty dumdum to protect the love of his life.

I don't care how much you all love the two dumb (affectionately) gangsters, these two deserve the world, end of story. Also Kai Hsu and Taro Lin are bff's irl now, Taro said that Kai helped him get out of a very bad mental tate and I take that very personally.

5. The Fanservice is Fanservicing - Kiseki: Dear To Me

Speaking of Taro and Kai, the fact that I even know that they're bff's is another brainaltering moment that needs recognition because months later it led me to this TikTok of two actors I don't know of a show I don't watch, staring at them for ages and really considering watching it just because of it.

That is the power of fanservice my friends and I can put on my clownmask now because I avidly screamed left and right that fanservice should be forbidden when I learned about it. I blame Kiseki for that. But my point still stands, I hate actors doing stuff they're uncomfortable with. I just hope they're all friends and have fun and get that coin.

6. The One Just For Me - Playboyy

I've been lurking around Playboyy from the moment I found out they have the same writer as OF. And boy did it deliver so far! I already wrote a bunch here about which role Playboyy plays for me, but it's also a wonderful case study for my producer heart — watching the acting, directing, lighting, sets, props and storyline interact is fascinating.

People say the less you notice the better the show, which is correct, but I love all the flaws of this piece of media. IMHO it's the last puzzlepiece of the amazing, important social commentary the show delivers. All of the topics the couples represent need to get their very own show.

7. The Holy Grail - The Sign

Speaking of the less you notice — this is the sign for The Sign (again, sorry). There's a reason this show is loved and praised so widely because the production is on a whole other level. Adding the beautiful story on top of that, we have the potential for a holy grail here and I'm so in for the ride.

I keep saying I've entered the world of BL in it's absolute golden era. Never in a million years did I think I'd watch 5 shows simultaneosly but I love every single one of them so much I keep a whole spreadsheet on how I can be on time for every premiere every week alongside my work schedule.

Honorable mentions

KinnPorsche: VegasPete were my first dark, angsty, morally questionable couple ever (I'm a sissy okay)

Last Twilight: When I watched Extraordinary Attorney Woo, I cried several times about the wonderful media representation of disability. It means so much to me and Last Twilight is on par with that.

Bake Me Please: Thank you for giving me this beautiful kiss

Manner of Death: Thank you MaxTul for making gay makeouts fashionable

Bad Buddy: The one time I was glad I persisted so I could watch them most adorable phone scene on the planet

I Feel You Linger In The Air: It was too painful for me to finish but I loved the show with my whole heart and it deserves all the awards it got.

Kimi ni Todokanai: Japanese shows just hit different. I'll never get over the kissing Taiyaki.

The Novelist Series: THIS is how you kiss the one you're horny for my friends. Take notes directors.

Semantic Error: My fav webtoon -> Got Viki for the Series -> Found the BL corner of Viki -> Drew my attention to Tumblr -> This post.

Thank you for being the butterfly of my butterfly effect.

And thank YOU if you read until here! To a even more wonderful queer year 2024! I'm so ready for this ride.

[radiobelle23]

All the KinnPorsche fics that had me in a chokehold - completed recs because I know we all have PTSD from incomplete fics

So here I am after thousands of years of being off tumblr for one reason. KINNPORSCHE. Now if you’re like me and you like to hyper fixate on things, then you know what’s it’s like to spend hours trying the find the best fics to satisfy that boost of serotonin. So here I’ve listed all of my favorite KP fics I’ve read on AO3. Now, I mainly read smut but I do enjoy a little fluff every once in a while so WARNING: I’m gonna list some of the most toe curling, smut filled fics of them all here, some summaries are VERY EXPLICIT. I do read Vegas/Pete and Kim/Chay fics as well but this is primarily dedicated to my two favorite kingpins. Originally this was going to be a complete/incomplete rec list but I then realized it was going to be a monster of a rec page. Anyways ENJOY !

Update 10/1/22: Happy spooky season! Can I just say that I honestly did not expect my little list to blow up like this? You guys all fed into my praise kink, not gonna lie. And some of the authors saw it!?! I am not worthy!!! You all deserve the love!!! I realized I left out a couple fics and I am back to right my wrongs! So any * you see has been added since the orig post date... I might need to make a second list.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kings Tree - LuckyDragon

Summary: Kinn was seven when he woke up one morning to discover a small silver circle on the back of his left wrist.

Chapters: 14/14 Words: 78,474

In the Eye of the Beholder - asleepby2

Summary: Rich, the latest recruit to the main family's famed security detail, has no idea what exactly the two dons have going on and he's determined to find out.

- or -

Kinn and Porsche as observed by an oblivious fool.

Chapters: 3/3 Words: 7,883

tiny spark, mighty flame - BeStillMySlashyHeart

Summary: In a world where the touch of your skin with another could reveal your soulmate, Kinn keeps his collars high and his gloves on. What happens when he's not allowed to do that anymore?

Chapters: 11/11 Words: 29,452

A Little Wicked - midnightsurge

Summary: “There is a way to get her off your back,” Kinn seems reluctant to say. “I don’t know how willing you’d be to go through with it.”

Porsche raises an eyebrow.

Kinn sighs and finally spills. “If she thinks you’re with me, she won’t dare approach you anymore.”

Porsche freezes. He stares Kinn down.

-

Porsche never pawns the watch. Kinn never kidnaps him. Somehow they still fall for each other.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 11,146

Paperwork Promises - surrealsunday

Summary: Filing paperwork and tending to the needs of rich, stuffy executives was never Porsche’s dream career, but a job is a job. That job is made a lot less easy – but maybe a bit more interesting – when the boss he’s been avoiding since that very first day in the elevator, gets a lapful of coffee and an eyeful of Porsche. Just when Porsche was getting used to the monotony of the every day…

Executive Bossman Kinn | Assistant Smartass Porsche

Chapters: 8/8 Words: 80,533

fool me once (fool me twice) - perfumes

Summary: Porsche wondered if any of it was real. It sure seemed real at the time, when Porsche chose scissors to Kinn’s rock, when Kinn looked back at him with such devastation. Such love. It felt real when he’d looked up from the fish they’d caught and said: So kind. Why do you keep your smiles to yourself?

Now, Porsche wore handcuffs again. He left them lying alone in his cell. He could barely look at them.

Perhaps, Porsche had only seen what he wanted to see. Perhaps, he had only ever been a replacement to Kinn. Until the real thing came along.

“I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago,” he said. “But I need your help. Will you give it?”

Vegas smirked.

-

(Or: When Kinn believes Tawan over Porsche, Porsche asks Vegas to help him fake his and his brother's deaths to escape the mafia world. Years later, Kinn visits a small, private beach and orders a drink.)

[Episode 9 Canon Divergence]

Chapters: 8/8 Words:  30,528

Parallel Love - PrinceHeart

Summary: “Do you take Porsche Pachara Kittisawat as your lawful spouse?”

Kinn’s jaw clenched at that, then he reminded himself why he was doing this.

“I fucking do.”

Or where the only solution to bloodshed, violence and disaster between the two mafia clans, is simple. An arranged marriage.

Chapters  20/20 Words:  64,154

between the sheets - DasWarSchonKaputt

Summary: “And who’s that?”

“Oh. That’s Porsche. He’s Khun Kinn’s live-in boytoy. He’s harmless, mostly. Just a pretty face.”

--

A boyfriend can go so many places a bodyguard can’t. As the threat of a potential leak in their security forces looms large, Khun Korn hatches a plot to place an added layer of protection around his heir presumptive. Enter Porsche, former bartender, current bodyguard, and reluctant fake boyfriend of Kinn Theerapanyakul.

Chapters: 8/8 Words:  70,456

cravin’ - yeetlegay

Summary: It’s only when Kinn is two knuckles deep in Porsche’s ass, his teeth buried in the meat of his thigh, that it occurs to Porsche he probably isn’t that straight.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,847

Trials & Tribulations - rainbowcolored7

Summary: In which Kinn is a renowned lawyer for TK & Associates, as well as a certified bastard, and Porsche is his new assistant who isn't sure whether he'll scald him with hot coffee or fuck him before he decides to quit.

Chapters: 3/3 Words:  26,348

Your teeth round my organs - androktasia

Summary: “Aren’t you meant to finger me?” Porsche asks, breathless, as Kinn smears lube around the rim of his hole. Kinn looks up, pausing his movements, and Porsche shifts slightly, almost unconsciously, as though trying to get him inside.

“Where did you hear that?” Kinn asks.  

“I watched some porn,” Porsche says, and Kinn raises an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. He remembers the kind of porn Porsche likes – shrieking women lying back and taking it from coarse, grunting men. “Gay porn,” Porsche clarifies after a moment.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 3,148

Weak Spot - tessalane

Summary: Kinn nods and clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m – I’m taken.”

“And who is the lucky one?” His uncle snorts, clearly not buying it. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and scans Kinn as if his nephew would say, “ha, sorry, I was just joking.”

Kinn seems hesitant for a moment, but then he turns around and points at Porsche. “It’s Porsche.” He holds out his hand and fakes a smile aimed at Porsche. “Baby, come here.”

What the actual fuck?

Chapters: 11/11 Words:  35,920

give it to ya like you never had it - mirrorofprinces

Summary: “Porsche is extremely close to signing. In fact, he has a final meeting with the execs on Monday morning. The only condition is that he wants to request his first partner, and it’s you.”

Kinn takes a long drink of his whiskey, sets the glass down, and runs his tongue over his teeth. “So you had to meet with me, urgently, to tell me that a beautiful boy wants me to fuck him, thinking I’d say no.” He drums his fingers on the bartop. “Which means there’s a catch.”

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 7,448

right here beside you, i’m still - P1n3appl3_p3n

Summary: When Kinn gets sick, Porsche steps in to lead the major and minor families. They are grossly in love.

In his five months as head of the minor family, this is his first meeting with other clan heads without the weight and presence of Kinn, and to some it probably appears like blood in the water. Porsche much prefers to sit at Kinn's right hand, but he knows he can manage on his own.

His grin is careless, a careful veneer. Time to show these assholes the minor family isn’t one to be underestimated.

“Let’s begin.”

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 3,869

You picked a dance with the devil, You lucked out - aby01

Summary: Feral alphas are devastatingly violent, brutally vicious and absolutely loyal. To have one under your control means great power. Kinn has been looking for his own for years now.

He just didn't think he'd find it in a mouthy beta that tricks him out of his favorite watch.

Chapters: 4/4 Words:  34,025

Note: this is a A/O/B fic, if that’s not your preference genre then skip ahead... But you should really try anything once 😉.

Make Me Come Undone -  ahdriking *

Summary: Porsche fucked up. He fucked up badly.These are his consequences. Kinn teaches Porsche a lesson in trust, and being careful what he asks for. Unfortunately for Porsche, some lessons have to be learnt the hard way.

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  15,108

give him something to believe in. - Skamtrash *

Summary:  vegas and kinn make a bet to see who can fuck their bottoms better. the couples fuck next to each other to see who will win, pure filth ensues.

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  4,134

The Things We Do For Love - Hissnoiice - A/O/B fic *

Summary: He loves in the way a Theerapanyakun does. Kinn is his father's son afterall, looking after what is his has been ingrained in him since birth.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 8,021 

If You Like Series

like real people do -motherfleckers

Summary: A series of fics set in a fluffy AU where Kinn is a celebrity singer and Porsche is a bartender in a small beach town. That's it, that's all there is.

Works: 2 Words 20,279

speeding through all of these red lights - foreigncars (lunarsoo)

Summary: “I’d like to work for you.”

Porsche didn’t expect his words to draw such an easy laugh out of Kinn. He can’t say he doesn’t like the sound of it, but it’s a little disappointing that he gets to hear it at his expense.

“Why would you want to work for me, Porsche? You know what I do, right?”

- Alternatively, the one where Porsche asks to work for Kinn instead.

Works: 4 Word: 90,539

What I Would Do - TheObsoleteOne

Summary: Kinn was always in control - he had who he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted.

Of course Porsche would end up being the exception.

Works: 3 Word: 36,042

note: author does not have a series summary so i placed the summary for part 1 instead. Part 2 is a Kim/Chay one shot that I found cute. Part 3 as of now is incomplete, hoping the author finishes because I really did like this series. I still placed it on the list because part 1 ended well and is worth a read.

Readers Choice - here's where I gush over some authors

Note: Can I just give a round of applause to the following authors for having multiple works ready for me (and you) to spend countless of hours - and I literally mean hours reading through. 

iffervescent  

Note: this author also happens to have all of the sexy scenes from the KP novels translated... just saying 👀....

The power in the taking

Summary: They warned him, when he started working for the Theerapanyakun clan. Forget leadership, forget duty to his people, forget all that – they warned him. Kinn Theerapanyakun, clan heir: obsessed with power.

Porsche should have fucking listened.

Chapters: 2/2 Words:  17,005

Public Consumption

Summary: Porsche agrees to be in a gay porno. Kinn doesn't work here.

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  13,598

and its VEGASPETE counterpart

Brand Recognition

Summary: Vegas wants his top billing back. Pete likes being on the bottom.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6,910

Sample Tasting * 

Summary: Porsche wants Kinn to ask. Kinn just wants the answers.

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  10,037

Note: also part 3 of Public Consumption 😉

Intent to Cherish -  A/O/B fic

Summary: A mouthy beta runs off with Kinn's watch. He goes to get it back

Chapters: 4/4 Words:  47,670

Knowing him, knowing you

Summary: They do the threesome thing, every now and then.

Kinn and Tay meet Porsche

Chapters: 1/1 Words:  12,619

Note: Okay so i couldn't resist throwing this Kinn/Prosche/Tay fic in here, so good and so smutttttyyyy

SourwolfZiam

The Crown

Summary: “Your Highness” Porsche greets after opening the door and finding Prince Anakinn standing there. He keeps his voice flat and emotionless as if he was addressing the King or his General. He bows his head for a few seconds, not looking him directly in the eyes as he’s taken to doing the last few months.

Porsche doesn’t miss the way the way the corners of the prince's mouth tightens at his tone.

“Lieutenant General” Prince Anakinn – Kinn – returns, his voice carefully neutral.

-

Lieutenant General Porsche and Prince Kinn are together and in love, until they aren't anymore.

This is a love story.

Korn is the villain.

Chapters: 6/6 Words:  25,752

Mr. and Mr. Theerapanyakun-Kittisawasd

Summary: The life of the It couple in Thailand, billionaire Kinn Theerapanyakun and supermodel Porsche Kittisawasd.

Works: 2 Words:  8,634

fortunehasgivenup

the undone and the divine

Summary: In the aftermath of battle, all that's left is need.

Need to touch, to feel, to be certain that one is alive and whole.

Kinn and Porsche give in to their need.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,587   

but you’re everywhere (yes you are)

Summary: What if Porsche, upon remembering the kiss on the pier, went to Kinn and said that he remembered? What if there was no diamond auction? What if they'd had a different start?

Would it make them any softer?

(No.)

Chapters: 3/3 Words:  92,424

even though you’re not mine, you’ve got that look in your eyes

Summary: "He doesn’t do that kind of thing."

What Yok means when she tells Kinn this: Porsche doesn’t engage in sex work.

What Kinn hears when Yok tells him this: Porsche doesn’t take men as clients.

One day, Porsche is struggling to make ends meet, enjoying the occasional hook-up in the back of Yok’s bar. The next, Anakinn Theerapanyakul is offering him an obscene amount of money to get added to his roster of “friends”.

The money’s good, the sex is better, there’s no way that this can backfire, right?

Chapters: 2/2 Words: 26,805

The One Where Porsche and Kim Are Gym Buddies

Summary: When the Phoenix comes up to Kim at the gym and introduces himself as Porsche, it's only polite to reply. They're both in the fighting circuit after all.

One conversation leads to another and soon they're gossiping about their romantic lives.

Romantic lives being the rich dude who's been railing Porsche into next week and the cute guy that Kim can't help but want to spend more time with.

It's nice having a friend who doesn't know your brother.

Chapters: 2/2 Words: 19,598

Happy reading! I will be making a separate list for the current ongoing fics, hopefully by the time i get started they'll be close to completion. Let me know if your interested in the VegasPete or KimChay list, I dont have as much but still good to spread.

kurtstiel

i'm the one for your fire 

Summary: This series is canon compliant with the exception of Kinn and Porsche being in an established Dom/sub relationship.

It will explore various aspects of a Dom/sub dynamic with lots of bratty Porsche and doting but firm Dom Kinn.

Works: 5 Word: 39,660

gone was any trace of you *

Summary: Kinn is looking at Porsche like he’s seen a ghost.

Porsche blinks and the haunted expression is gone, Kinn smoothing it over with something neutral, but there’s still something fragile at the edges of it, like a crystal figurine balanced on a ledge. Kinn’s body relaxes in a way that’s purposefully casual, tucking his outstretched foot back onto the bed.

“You were in the bathroom,” Kinn says. He phrases it like an answer rather than a question

Or: Porsche left Kinn in their bed with nothing but a note. In the aftermath of the shootout, Kinn can't stop thinking about it.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 11,097

all of me (is all for you) *

Summary: The water has saturated Porsche's white shirt completely, soaking through the vest beneath. The translucent material clings obscenely to the swell of his pecs. His nipples are clearly visible through the sheer material, hard and pebbled, with the unmistakable shape of the metal barbells pierced either side of them.Porsche’s head jerks up to check if he can still hide them from Kinn, but it’s already too late. Kinn is standing across the room, staring in Porsche’s direction, entire body coiled tight like a spring.Or: While Kinn is away on a business trip, Porsche gets his nipples pierced as a surprise for their anniversary. Kinn comes home earlier than Porsche expected.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 9,940 

And

Please leave comments and kudos to the authors, they deserve all of the love and more 💞

***yeah im gonna need to make another list...

[twig-tea]

Last Twilight Finale Thoughts

Had to go back to my clown checkpoint from ep 10, which I originally wrote in response to a conversation between @lurkingshan and @my-rose-tinted-glasses! How did the Last Twilight finale stack against my wishlist?

We got 6/8:

Mork opens that $@#&&#&# glove compartment (ie finally process his grief around Rung)

Mork speaks to Rung at her grave

Mork has workplace satisfaction and stability (ie we get something on canon to show that he's not afraid of being fired at any moment, and enjoys his new career) ['m counting the way he's shown trying out new recipes after the second timeskip towards this]

Day making plans for his future and acting towards them (enrolling in university or courses of some kind, most likely)--this is necessary whether or not he can see in future

Day's mom unclenches (we see her proactively stepping away from controlling Day's life)

We get Day's mom's perspective on what happened with Day's dad [honestly at this point this is a nice to have]

Night is perceived and happy (by Porjai most likely but I'm flexible)

Porjai feels safe and cared for (by Night most likely but I'm flexible)

And yet I was unsatisfied by this episode. Why? Because it did so many other things that I didn't even think I'd have to guard against in my wishlist, and the execution of what we did get was muddled!

I'm so mad about the glove compartment. They mentioned that thing at least three times, it was teased that Rung used it a lot and kept all kinds of stuff in there, and the last time it was mentioned, we heard that it had been fixed, and yet. AND YET. The glove compartment stayed closed and unseen.

This is how I feel about all of the important growth that happened for these characters. Mork's processing his grief for Rung, Day's building his life as a blind person (including using his cane), Day's mom moving past her internalized ableism, Mork learning how to be a partner rather than a caretaker, Day's father realizing he needs to be a better dad, Day and Mork learning how to navigate their social class difference in their relationship; we didn't really get to see any of that. We were just told it had been fixed now, off screen, like the glove compartment.

We did get to see the brothers reconcile and work on being brothers again, I will give the show that.

Also just to say, wow this aged poorly (from the same post linked above, written after ep10):

Mork, in contrast to Day's mother, has always been interested in encouraging Day to learn independence from him, even though Mork's situation in Day's life is potentially so much more precarious than Day's mom is.

I'll say the same thing I said after the ep 11 fight--it isn't the plot points themselves in the latter part of this series I have a problem with, it's how they've been executed. Characters don't feel consistent, what the show tells us happened doesn't seem to reflect what we saw in the show itself, and what the show says is important is then retconned or not addressed.

TL;DR even though the finale hit the bulk of my wishlist it still fumbled the execution and so I found it unsatisfying despite giving me most of what I asked for.

[magicaldragons]

episode 11 was intense: an analysis

i'm surprisingly okay with the way they handled the first scene, where shi-oh confesses? they didn’t make a joke out of it, or give a definite answer, and they didn’t complicate that scene by adding the perspective of any other characters, 8/10 for now

sort of strongly dislike how quick hwang geum ju was to place all the blame on the dad?? like, i have not seen her give her son the time of day, since...forever

namsoon's development is vv wholesome to watch in a way: she's picking up on all these concepts and being very receptive to her experiences while simultaneously being very mature – as childish as she acts, i have not seen her once do anything i would really disapprove of (though she's been a little overconfident in her strength, but we see her understand in this episode that her strength cannot fix all problems), which is also why it's a bit confusing because her curiosity and desire to help and understand people shuts down somewhat when it comes to ryu shi-oh, which might be lazy writing or that she's too focused on what things look like from her mom's perspective

ryu shi oh trying to escape,,,baby ryu shi oh trying to escape,,,with binbin,,i have more to say after i feel sad for a bit

what was that dramatic sparkle noise when the mother hugged nam-in?? are they trying to imply that receiving warmth/affection/love reduces the effects of the drugs? 💀 because it even happened again with nam-in later in the episode, and they hinted to that correlation when they showed ryu-shi-oh turning almost completely emotionless when he took the drugs, and not giving nam-soon any kind of smile/warmth, i might be going crazy, tell me someone else saw that

ps: if there IS a correlation, we better have a scene of nam-soon reaching out to shi-oh, while he's under the drug's effects? for scientific purposes...i sound delusional 😃

it wasn't enough, but i'm glad we're seeing hwang geum ju realize the consequences of her views and remarks on nam-in's weight, it's not a fix-all, but it's a start

on a major note, i'm pretty concerned for hee-sik's life rn o.O

[moaserendipity]

My Top 10 BL's of 2023

I am back with my personal top 10 of 2023. I know I've been super quiet these days but making a top 10 is always fun to do. The #1 has been decided early this past year but for the rest... It was a crazy year for BL but only a few were really top tier...🔥🔥

10. My Personal Weatherman (Taikan Yoho)

One of the Japanese BL's I really enjoyed watching. It was more grown up then the ones I've seen and that was very welcome. I love the dynamics between the main characters a lot. It was a bit of a slow one, with the lack in communication between the two but I forgive that because the chemistry was really good.

09. Wedding Plan

Oh how i looked forward to this one, the second I saw the trailer. I loved the storyline but I thought it was very short, which made them rush through it at times, which was a shame because it was actually really good and I just wanted to see more. I loved the chemistry between Sailom and Namnuea, So I really enjoyed watching them. They are very new if I'm correct but I didn't notice it at all, so hopefully they will get another BL together but a longer one. Also I love the GL in this BL, it was very natural and I in the end hoped they would be the ones that got to marry. Not to forget about the cameo;s of my babies Payu and Rain and of course Prapai and Sky.

08. Moonlight Chicken

This one I've waited for so so long and it was kind of a surprise because I love EarthMix, Like Mix is my man but my attention got taken away from them and got attached to GemFourth who played Li Ming and Heart. I just loved everything about them! I loved how they incorporated Sign language because Heart was deaf and just the overall chemistry between them, was everything. They made me smile so much. Jim and Wen, you know were amazing as well but I sometimes felt frustrated by their interaction. The close moments they had were amazing of course but it was not what I expected from EarthMix but overall this drama was definitely worth the wait!

07. Kiseki: Dear to Me

I absolutely loved this one. I couldn't get enough of it. I am a sucker for the Hate to Love trope and this had exactly that and in a gangster way. Like I loved it. ZeRui and Bangyi were made for each other and you can't tell me otherwise how he went to prison for ZeRui and even got hurt but he still decided to dedicate his bakery to him with his Strawberry cakes, ugh too cute. The second couple made me want even more. The sassiness of Ai Di and the coldness of Chen Yi, they were really something. The way Chen Yi didn't realize that Ai Di loved him until he went to prison or that one hot night made me slap my forehead because nothing was more obvious, so I can not explain how happy I was they finally got together in the end!!

06. My School President

This really was a GemFourth year because this was their first leading BL and boy how they won us over with their cuteness. The OST was also seriously top tier. I think I loved all the songs. This entire Cast was amazing! To think I almost skipped this one...That would've been a mistake for sure, so I'm happy that I decided to give it another try because I fell in love with them and bingewatched it in one go. I can't wait to see the next project from them.!

5. Our Dating Sim

this Korean BL was a welcome one. I loved the office setting of this BL and the fact that the episodes were short as usual, didn't disturb me that much. Their chemistry made up for that! I will never forget how my heart sank when Ki Tae thought Wan had disappeared again, this poor man but I loved how Wan immediately comforted him the second he saw him. I should really rewatch this again.

4. Last Twilight

I know it's still running but I can not leave it out of my top10 for 2023. I am impressed with Jimmy and Sea. These two are everything to me at this moment. Their chemistry is crazy and I am happy they have this BL to show their talents again. I am impatiently waiting every week for the next episode and so far no episode has disappointed me, which is rare tbh.

3. Sing my Crush

Sing my crush was not even on my radar but the second I came across it, I bingewatched it. I am a sucker for music BL's, where the actors can ACTUALLY sing and play instruments.. I loved it so much. from start to finish. I really think this BL was very underrated. I did not hear a lot of people about it but it definitely deserves more!

2. I feel you linger in the Air

Ever since I saw the trailer, I wanted to see this one badly and boy did it not disappoint! I was in awe every episode. I don't think I've ever seen a Thai Bl that was staged in the past. Also this way of time traveling is one I actually like. As long as no bodies get switched I am loving it. Their chemistry was top notch and those intimate scenes. That kiss in the rain, Art I am telling you and that massage scene, HELLO!! I literally forgot to breathe at that point and my face was almost stuck to the screen, crazy!! So yeah this was a true masterpiece!

01. The Eighth Sense

Let's all act surprised by this one...... what can I say? This one touched my intire being. It touched my soul, My heart everything. I cried, laughed and even cursed at 2 people in particular.. This is the biggest masterpiece of 2023 and nothing can change my mind about this. The way I anticipated every week and felt sad when it ended, ugh!! I just want to praise Oh Jun Taek for the way he acted, because if I'm correct this was his first acting job or at least he is very new but he pulled it of perfectly and Ji sub, I am applauding him for the way he portrayed Jae Won. All I need now is a season 2 or an special episode where we see them do the things Jihyun wanted... like just please!! In al seriousness everything was amazing about this one and that's why it's my number 1

I really do think that the Korean BL's won this round. I feel like they are finally stepping up their game. It's still not as Explicit as Thai or Taiwanese but that's not what I am expecting. I don't always have to have NC scenes because without a story, it's not worth a lot. Overal the Bl's were powerful this year and Top tier. Hopefully next year will bring us even better ones!! <3

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Dressing Room Tears

pairing: frankie morales x f!reader

rating: M (body image issues, weight gain, classic dressing room meltdowns, frankie being an angel, mild nudity i guess)

word count: <800

a/n: starting the year off with an entirely self-indulgent lil oneshot because I! feel! insecure! and wish that i had a frankie to gently remind me i’m hot piece of ass regardless of my weight! also, unedited, unbeta’d, un-everything 🫶🏼

frankie masterlist | frankie playlist

The mirror had never been your truest friend, your reflection controlling most of your teen years whether you realized it or not. The girl you saw never seemed to quite match the image of yourself you had created in your head—her stomach was a bit bigger, her hair frizzier, her hips carrying dips that you didn’t realize you had.

Now that you were older, it became a bit easier to take the occasional harshness of your reflection, but you’d be lying if you said there weren’t days when you’d much rather shatter the glass into a million little pieces rather than look at yourself.

Today was one of those days.

To start the new year, you and your dream of a man, Frankie, had decided it would be a nice treat for yourselves to go out and revamp your wardrobes, his clothes all covered in grease or littered with holes to prove how well-loved they were, while yours simply just felt too…suffocating.

You’d gained weight since January of last year—happy weight, Frankie called it—and though you’d never been anywhere near thin, you still struggled to accept the extra twenty or so pounds you’d gained this year.

Standing in the dressing room of an H&M, you fought back tears as you tried on your third pair of jeans—the largest size they seemed to carry in stock was a size 10 while you were at minimum a size 12 these days. You felt like an insecure teenager again, sucking in until you were out of breath in hopes of just getting the zipper to close.

“You good in there, baby?” Frankie asked from the other side of the curtain, apparently finished with trying his own clothes on. You swallowed thickly, fanning your eyes in hopes that it would prevent your tears from falling, but it was no use.

“Can you come in,” you croaked with a sadness-strained voice. Frankie was quick to slip into the dressing room, closing the curtain shut behind him as he gave you a concerned but soft look. An exhausted sob left your lips as you gestured at the jeans that weren’t anywhere near buttoning and then at the pile of other too-tiny jeans on the bench. “I’m too fat.”

“What? Baby,” he sighed and wrapped his arms around you, cradling your face as it buried in his neck. “You are not the problem here, your body is not the problem. You just need a bigger size, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Apparently there is because every single store we’ve been to today doesn’t sell my size,” you complained in a tearful whine, your voice muffled by his shirt.

“Once again, that’s these fucking fatphobic stores’ fault, not yours.” He pressed his lips against your temple and kept them there as he held you until the ache in your chest began to fade. “Come on, why don’t we leave this shithole and go get some food in your belly. You haven’t eaten today.”

“Thought I was being sly,” you joked as you pulled away to peel off the jeans that brought on this whole episode.

“Baby, look at me,” Frankie gentle gripped your chin and stopped your frantic changing, taking the time to admire your lower half in just a pair of modest cotton underwear, his hands lowering to traverse the curves of your body that he’d long laid claim to. “You are the most beautiful fucking woman in the world. Not just because of the soul you carry inside, or your mind, or your heart, but also because you’re fucking sexy. Just how you are.”

“You’re just—“

“Don’t you dare,” he warned with a smile. “I’m not saying this for the hell of it, baby. I mean it. You’re a fucking smoke show. Don’t let these clothing stores fool you into thinking you’re too anything.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” you beamed, cupping his cheek in your hand.

“I ask myself that very question everyday,” he replied. “I have no idea what good deed I’ve done that’s earned me you, but I’m sure glad I did it.”

Frankie placed a chaste kiss on your lips and smiled against you.

“Sushi or pasta?”

You joined him in grinning. “Sushi now, pasta later?”

“I like the way you think, baby.”

[vclvetfleur]

Obedient Chapter 15

roman roy x fem!reader

Summary: Your relationship with Roman has been strained more than ever. You refuse to speak or talk to him. But his trip to Turkey had taken a dark turn and he had left you in the dark about it. You finally see him again after finding out the news on the Yacht trip in Croatia.

Season 2, Episode 10

TW: Hostage situation, offensive jokes, Logan Roy

WC: 5.6K

Notes: I don't think i've ever written this much. this took up 12 pages on word doc. i'm going to be writing the best essays once my college semester starts

Chapter 15: Greg Sprinkles

After that night, you stayed away from Roman as much as you could. He couldn’t stop you either. You’d come into work, give your notes, and leave. He would try to make jokes, try to make you laugh or smile, but he was met with just silence. Not even a glance. It got to a point; he didn’t bother to try. He knew there was no point in return. He messed up. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you. He just wasn’t able to realize his feelings quick enough. The only love he knew was hurtful. Not loving. Or caring. He loved Shiv. He loved Kendall. He loved Logan. And his mother. But they all had never shown him proper enough love. He knew that was love. So, this, whatever you both had, was just a like. Not love. Just like.

You had been out with Jess more and more. She questioned why you were with her rather than Roman. You simply told her it was because you realized you didn’t love Roman. You hadn’t thought your feelings were as deep as you thought they were. You had cut things off with Roman. Most of it was a lie though. You just regret almost ruining your relationship with Jess over someone like Roman. All of his bad traits intensified in your eyes. His words were more vile. His views were more disgusting and appalling. He was the worst human to ever walk the earth. But you got paid.

You couldn’t quit though. Not that you couldn’t live without it. You had been financially well off ever since the job, but some part of you needed to see Roman. Not on a TV screen. But you were not ready. You’d get the courage one day.

He had been sent off to Turkey, you had made the schedules he was given by Logan. Logan became his new cheerleader. Instead of you encouraging him, Logan did. But Logan only did it to keep more shareholders and to get rid of the scandal as best he could. He told Roman exactly what you had before. He wasn’t good with public stuff or formal stuff, but personal, chill unofficial meetings were his strong suit. He was likable. He was funny. He made people, rich men, comfortable.

So, he had only texted you about the meetings he wanted to set and to make sure they didn’t overlap with each other.

You had stayed home the day that the company was going to testify to Congress.  It was a huge deal. But you couldn’t be surrounded by that. Roman wasn’t here for it. You saw no point. Just another reason to listen to men and women put down sexual assault victims. To put down those women. For it being ‘so long ago’. If only you had known what you did years ago, maybe you would’ve also come out sooner. But you were just as scared as these women.

Roman had texted you a few times, but each time you ignored him.

But the texts stopped for hours. Not that he would be asleep, but he just was gone. He might’ve just given up. He stopped trying to get your attention. In reality, his phone and security guard had been taken from him. And was now being held hostage in a hotel. He sat there panicking. But the only thing he thought of was you. He messed up. He made you feel unloved, uncared for, and unappreciated. And you’d never know how much he actually loved you. He had just realized how much he loved you. And all he could think about was how he could possibly get shot or die and you’d never know. He tried to seem calm, but inside he couldn’t hold it together. If you were here, you’d find a way to calm him down. If you were here, you’d know what to say. If you were here, you’d do everything right. But you weren’t. And it was his fault. It was awful to wish that you’d be in a dangerous, life-threatening situation with him, but he wished exactly that in this moment. 

But Roman was luckily okay. He was sent home. He tried calling you, but you put him on voicemail each time. It had been 2 days. Logan sent him to a shrink and just hoped everything could be okay.

Jess had begged you to join the company on this boat ride. She didn’t want to go alone. You reluctantly joined. Despite your intense fear of the ocean. You all had flown out, you separately on your own flight, flying first class on a commercial flight to the Mediterranean. You had landed in Croatia, meeting with Jess in the hotel. You planned your outfits together the night before your flight. “So, how’s it gonna be seeing Roman for the first time after y’know?” She asked. She was worried for you. She knew even though you said you didn’t love him, you definitely had care for him. “Jess- I still saw him after we broke up.” You laughed, pulling your sunglasses on.

“I know that… but y’know… come on…” She kept asking you. She thought you were heartless for ignoring what Roman had just gone through and completely acting as if you didn’t care. You raised your eyebrows at her, wondering what she was even talking about. Your smile began to disappear once you realized she was insinuating something else. She then realized you didn’t know. Your heart raced wondering what Roman did. Did he already start seeing someone else? Did he publicly do something?

“Uh- I don’t know how to say this without it sounding awful…” Jess dragged it out. I mean how do you tell someone their ex was a hostage for 24 hours before being let go finally. And had been isolated for days to recover from it. “There were terrorists in Turkey. Roman was involved.” She had been vague. You went into complete panic. “Woah-woah. What? What the fuck do you mean?” You asked frantically.

“I don’t fucking know! All I heard was some terrorists took Laird, Karl, and Roman hostage after their deal with Eduard and they finally let them go. I don’t know that much.” Jess tried to scramble to give you as many details as she knew. But you were still in the dark. You both were. You tried to get your heart to go back to a normal pace and your breathing corrected. “Jesus fucking Christ… What the actual fuck?” You were in disbelief. You were even more annoyed that Roman didn’t even bother texting you about it. Just ‘hey im back’. That was it? Was he fucking insane?

Jess wrapped an arm around you, rubbing your arm calmly. “He’s all right. It’s fine. He came back like 2 days ago.” Jess tried to make you realize. She looked at her phone, seeing that had to leave. She guided you out, you took a bottle of water before leaving the room with her. You got into the black car, sitting with Kendall and Naomi. “Oh, hi y/n.” Naomi greeted you, giving you a quick hug. You smiled, hugging her back. “So great to see you again. Wow.” She was happy to see you again. She hadn’t expected to see you. But the last time you had seen her, you were sniffing coke off of some club table. Which was a great time for her. “We’re still waiting for Greg.” Kendall warned.

But as soon as Kendall said it, Greg came up into existence. He nearly hit his head, behind down low enough to fit into the car. He had sat in the back with you and Jess, shoving you into the middle now. “Oh-Uh- hi… I haven’t seen you in a bit. You hear about Roman? Is he- do you know- Is he okay?” Greg asked you at a fast pace. “I- uhm- I just found out 5 minutes ago Greg. But thank you for letting me know you knew more about my own boss than I do.” You felt slightly annoyed. Why didn’t anyone tell you? Why were you the only one out of the know? Kendall looked at you concerned, knowing you and Roman had something going on. But noticed you both were very distant. Naomi kept a notice too. “Woah Roman didn’t tell you?” She asked shocked. Your lips tightened into a line. You just nodded. “Woah- that’s fucked…” She mumbled. “Ken if you become a hostage- you better fucking tell me immediately.” She hinted to everyone in the car about your relationship. But everyone except Greg knew. “Roman’s fine.” Kendall shoved off what had happened. The car stopped in front of the boat. You looked at Jess, fearful of having to get on it. She shoved you out of the car though, essentially telling you to get over it. You walked out, putting your sunglasses on. You had walked up the ramp, holding onto Jess’s arm tightly. “Fucking- why the fuck did you have me agree to this?” You said annoyed as you tried to watch your step. Jess couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous you were being.

“What’s wrong?” She asked you, passing by you as you were struggling to get onto the boat. “She hates the ocean.” Jess confessed. You finally stepped foot onto the deck, feeling a lot more secure than earlier. You all took your shoes off, putting them to the side before finally walking through the yacht. You ordered yourself a drink, hoping it’d get you through being stuck on a boat with Roman. You spotted Willa, seeming upset and annoyed. “Hey gorg.” You exclaimed to get her attention. She looked up at you, trying to smile at you. She put a hand up and then immediately down. “Hi…” She mumbled. “What’s wrong? What happened?” You asked her. You sat down with her and Connor but Connor behind Willa’s back begged you silently not to ask. She got up, upset, and ran off to go get drunk just like you did. “Reviews for the play came in…” Connor said before running after Willa. Jess just laid back, shrugging at you as you tried to keep a positive energy while Willa could see you. But once she was mostly out of view, you gave Jess a face. You both had gone to the play. Despite Willa being an amazing and funny person, she wasn’t that talented. Her actor too. It was a very fake deep kind of play where the themes and messages were way too obvious or so obscure that it barely made any sense to the story. You weren’t even sure what the story was.

“Maybe if the blue bird sang on the window, it’ll make the reviews weep honey…” Jess quoted the play to you. You slapped her arm playfully, holding back a laugh.

“You’re awful.” You giggled, downing your mojito.

“No. That play was.” Jess answered. She knew you were gonna need another one. She put her hand up to get one of the server's attention and asked for another mojito. “Be honest with me… Did you ever think we’d end up like this?” She wondered. “On a boat? Fuck no. Fucking rich men and basically becoming rich ourselves. Yes.” You joked. Jess looked at you, jokingly annoyed with your answer, putting her middle finger up at you.

“No- I mean- a good job, traveling around the world, being able to actually afford shit we want.” Jess named off. You started to actually think about it. “I thought you’d end up like that.” You answered honestly. You never thought of yourself as being set up for greatness or success. Just some poor girl with parents who didn’t care about her who was gonna keep the cycle going of being some kind of free-loading assholes. You saw all your bad traits as your parents. You could mostly name all your bad traits, you had to really think about the good traits you had.

Jess rubbed your back, her smile gone. But returned once your drink came to the table. She replaced your straw and handed you the drink. “Well, I always saw us being here one day. Drink up. Cheers to us.” She put her glass up before clinking it with yours.

Your lips grew into a large grin, unable to hide the fact that no matter what Jess had always been there to help. Despite the fight you both had recently, she was still here. She was here at your side to be your support. You couldn’t be happier. Until the boat stopped. You began to panic. “Oh god, we’re fucking sinking.” You overreacted. You looked out at the ocean to see a smaller boat parked next to the yacht. You watched 3 men get out from under the deck of the boat and get on. One of those ‘men’ was Roman. Shiv congratulated them and everyone tried to greet Roman and joke about the incident. Roman was not in a mood at all. He just ignored them, keeping his head down and his hands at his side. He just whispered ‘yup’ ‘mhm’ and ‘sure’ after each unnecessary comment. He specifically didn’t like the attention he was getting. Tom made a joke before Roman finally snapped at them. “Uh- you know what? Uh- it was actually fucking scary and we thought that they might kiss us but yeah…” He then mocked Tom’s joke and made a silly voice mimicking what he said.

Everyone grew silent and stared at him, concerned. Kendall began to apologize, but Roman just shoved off all the insensitive jokes. He only replied with what you could hope was a joke about what had happened. Everyone tried to apologize, but Roman continued to move the attention off of him. Roman looked off, trying to take his mind off of what had happened. He didn’t come to think that you might be here.

Jess got up, thinking it’d be appropriate to comfort him or ask if he was okay. At least because of you. She walked over, glass in hand. “Hey…” She dragged out her word. “You doing alright champ?” She thought it would at least make him smile or laugh. But nothing. He shrugged and nodded. You followed Jess, not wanting to be alone on the boat in fear of falling. You stood by her side, avoiding looking at Roman. Roman saw you at the corner of his eye and sat up straight. “Uhh- what happened? I thought you weren’t a boat person…” He asked you. You shrugged, sipping on your straw. “I should be asking you that. Considering I had to hear from your brother's assistant that my boss was held hostage. Yea- I found out just less than an hour ago. Thanks for that.” You made a snarky remark. You knew he needed emotional support, but it wasn’t fair to you. You should’ve been the first to know. You told him you loved him. You were the one he was waking up to most nights. You were the only one he shared private stuff with. And now you were this much of a stranger to him? “I mean- I tried…” He shrugged. “Texting me hey doesn’t mean ‘hey I’ve been held hostage’, but hey. I’m not your therapist.” You put your hands up in a way to mock how he had been held hostage and for him being so rude to you that night. You just walked away, not wanting to listen to the next thing he had to say for himself. “I’m sorry Rome…” Jess apologized to you. She didn’t know you and him had been fighting. She assumed it was mutual or that you dumped him.  She chased you, holding your wrist to stop you. “Hey-what the fuck?” She asked you. “What? He’s a shit person. I mean- wouldn’t you be pissed too?” You tried to get her input. She looked at you as if you were crazy. How could you be so mean to him after he had just had such a traumatizing experience? She expected this from his siblings. But not you.

“So you’d be mad at me if I did the same?” Jess asked you. You nodded, knowing you were lying. Jess knew though. “Alright- I don’t believe you. But whatever. Your life.” She sighed.

You spent most of your time, sipping on cocktails, and talking to Jess. You had your sunglasses on, staring off as you all joked with one another. Roman and his siblings, excluding Connor, and Tom were nearby. They were finally having a conversation now that Roman had been out of it completely. You both wore your sunglasses to look at one another without the other knowing. But you couldn’t keep your eyes off each other. Even if you weren’t nearby.

“I think Tom and Shiv are gonna try to fuck that girl. Shiv has been staring at her most of the day.” Jess commented as she pointed her out to you. You peeled your eyes off of Roman and looked at the girl. “Hmm. Bit young for a mid-30s couple isn’t she?” You asked. “Weren’t you fucking Roman?” Jess fired back at you. You shook your head, kissing your middle finger her way. “I never fucked him. So ha.” You admitted.

“Oh yeah- forgot. He’s fucking inept.” Jess revealed. You weren’t taking the comment seriously. He probably was just nervous. Willa finally decided to join you two. She sat down with an entire bottle of bubbly wine. “What are we on about?” She asked to join the conversation. “Just Tom and Shiv being in an open marriage.” You quickly said before the possibility of the topic being on Roman.

“I’m fucking jealous.” Willa laughed to herself. She wished Connor would open up their marriage. A part of her loved him, just not enough to want herself to devote her entirety to him.

You watched as a helicopter was incoming. Fucking Logan. You all had to line up to watch Logan’s incoming appearance. It was all just another ego thing for Logan. Roman stood next to you. You shifted away, but there wasn’t much room to move. “Just- can you fucking- I don’t know- just talk to me later? I have something to say…” He whispered. You looked at the helicopter and didn’t say anything. “Y/n…” He pleaded. You just nodded before Logan stepped out of his helicopter. He called Roman, Karl and Laird to speak to him, forcing Roman to leave you behind. You were finally thankful for Logan.

“You should hear him out…” Jess said to you as you all finally walked away. “I don’t know.” You answered simply. “What the fuck happened? You’re lying again.” Jess accused you. You sighed, not sure if you were ready to even talk about any of it yet. “I’m not ready.” You answered simply before walking off. Jess didn’t know what to do to help the situation. She had seen how devasted you’ve been since the breakup or whatever you would call it. You had been going out more with Jess and still smiling and laughing the same, but once Roman had been near, you always went quiet. You wanted to hide. As if you were embarrassed. Cause you were. He had proven your parents right in your head. You were unlovable. He didn’t love you back. But you loved him. But you wish you kept it to yourself.

You had sat at the bar, putting on a front in front of Willa. You ordered a drink, deciding to talk to her instead of focusing on your issues. Logan made a speech, but you ignored it. You didn’t give a fuck enough. Roman had finally built the courage to finally get you to speak to him. “Hey- uh y/n, I need to talk to you about this fucking bullshit you set up. Can we just-?” He said loud enough for everyone around you both to hear. You, being his assistant, couldn’t say no. You downed another drink before following him.

He shut the door behind the two of you. “Wow- great plan. You think of it all day?” You asked him.

“Would you shut the fuck up?” He blurted out quickly. “I- I really- I didn’t know how I fucking felt that day. But being in Turkey and those men putting guns in my fucking face made me realize that- I don’t know- I thought I’d die and you would hate me forever” He tried to say whatever came to mind.

“So nearly getting shot is gonna make you realize how you feel about me? Me standing in front of you isn’t enough?” You asked sarcastically.

“No- I just- fuck you- you talk so fucking much… I realized that I wish I said what I wanted or else you’d think this awful thing about me… and I really really- I mean fuck- you’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever- just- I didn’t stop thinking about you and I wish you knew how I felt and just I wish you were there so you could-“ He rambled. “Roman, where the fuck is this going? I don’t see the point in you telling me you wish I was a hostage too.” You crossed your arms, looking at him completely lost.

“I love you. I just- I really love you. Okay? There. Are we good now?” he prayed you would accept. You stared at him blankly before nodding. “Okay, cool…” You said before leaving him alone in the room. He just stood and watched you. He had no idea what was left to do. He felt completely helpless.

You were so annoyed. The fact he could act as if he didn’t leave you there that night to only leave you in the dark for the past couple of days about his hostage situation, despite being back for 2 days.

You sat in your room for most of the day before coming out at night for a smoke. You sat far away from the edge, lighting a cigarette. You inhaled it before tapping the ash into an ash trash that was thankfully there. You noticed Jess had been trying to find out. She sighed, coming over. She sat down, grabbing your cigarette. “You’re gonna tell me what the fuck happened. You don’t smoke all mysteriously for nothing. Now. I gave you your space. You can’t bitch about it anymore. So, what the fuck happened?”

You knew no one else would be around to hear or see you. Your emotions finally got the best of you. You lowered your head as your face scrunched up a bit before letting yourself finally cry. Jess put the cigarette down on the ashtray before pulling you into a quick hug to shield you from any possible embarrassment. “Hey-hey. Is it cause I took your cigarette?” She asked you, hoping it’d make you laugh. “I told him I loved him…. And he said cool…” you cried. Jess rubbed your back, hurt for you. She wanted to kick Roman’s ass. But she knew it wouldn’t do much for either one of you. “And just-just the fact he- well y’know… and now he tried to tell me he wished I was held hostage too. And that having a gun in his face made him think about his feelings and- it’s just such a fucking cop-out.” You cried in between your words. Jess pulled away from you, wiping your tears away from your face. “Hey- I know you’re upset… but just breathe. You’re really angry and upset. Okay?” She tried to reason. You nodded, listening to her. She wanted to give you her opinion but didn’t want to overstep. At least not for tonight. “Here. Smoke your cigarette.” She tried to see you crack a smile, taking your cigarette and putting it back in between your lips. “There’s plenty of spoiled pretentious offensive rich 35-year-olds.” She insulted Roman. It did make you smile. “Look- just finish your cigarette and let’s go to bed. I know you won't be able to sleep alone on a boat.” She knew you well enough. “Just like old times.” She giggled. You nodded, finishing off your cigarette before putting it out. You went into her room, getting dressed in pajamas that were packed. You had just some small shorts from some generic retail store and a baggy shirt. You crawled into bed with Jess before she had looked up a movie for you both to watch before knocking out for the night. Jess’s company was enough to make you relax enough to fall asleep.

The next morning, you were woken up by Jess, forcing you to leave bed. You both were late to the breakfast that was happening. You got up, brushed your teeth, and put on a semi-reasonable outfit. Just a hat, sunglasses, and a sundress.  You didn’t wanna show off how tired you actually were. You both tried to sneak past Logan. They were discussing who would be thrown under the bus. You scanned the buffet, seeing Roman with two plates with him. He flagged you over and pointed at the extra plate. He had made a plate for you, picking out everything he knew you could actually eat. He even looked everything up on his phone and asked staff, asking them possibly two or three times to make sure. You grabbed the plate from him before sitting down. Unfortunately, every seat was taken except the one to his right and another next to Willa. But Jess had taken that seat before you. She thought it was important you sat next to Roman.

You had not been paying enough attention, but everyone was shocked and trying to talk Logan down. Roman remained silent too. But now it was up to everyone to throw each other into the Lion Den. You watched the slaughter. Roman, of course, was quick to call out Frank. You picked at the food, watching them. Roman defended Gerri before everyone and even making some ‘feminist’ point, something he might’ve picked up from you before pinning Cruises on Tom. You choked on your water, holding your mouth. “Oh is that fucking funny? Huh? Oh look, Roman’s little pet is laughing and saying what he does.” Tom said offended.

“Woah Woah. Fucking watch it. I have my own goddamn mind. You’re the one following Shiv around like a baby duck with a broken fucking wing.” You struck back. “Oh look. Two people already agree. Yup. Vote Tom out.” Roman came to your defense.

“Do you really think so y/n?” Logan asked you. You shrugged, looking at Tom annoyed. “Well- after that shit awful fuck up- I don’t know. Possibly.” You mentioned. “Oh fuck off. You know they threw me in like a dead fucking cat.” Tom desperately tried to defend himself. “What’s with the animal references?” Roman laughed. “But you know, head of cruises.” Roman made a point before Tom began to stutter and try to find another defense. But he couldn’t find one. “I have been a loyal servant” Tom defended before another Roy sibling, Kendall jumped in and defended Roman’s side.

Shiv stayed quiet as she was highly considering whether to support her husband or go with what she thought was best for the business. Everyone even began to jump onto Tom, even Shiv. You would watch the heartbreak all over Tom’s face. You almost felt sorry, especially after he called you a pet. This was a shit storm. But somehow this switched to Shiv. Before Roman chose both.

You smacked Roman’s thigh, telling him to knock it off, but Roman just then decided to add Greg into the mix as well. “Yeah- no- wait. Why me? I just work with Tom. What if we added fucking y/n or Jess? Or Kerry? How the fuck would that make sense? I mean- right?” He tried to get some support.

“Why the fuck are these 3 even here?” Karl asked.

“Cause we’re fucking the captain. Fuck off Karl.” You made a snarky remark. He was annoyed enough. You weren’t helping. But Logan loved watching you join in. He knew you were quick and witty. You could be useful.

“Oh, can I watch?” Roman asked. Greg then asked for Roman to be put up. Making the point he was an awful person. But Connor saw this as a moment to find a way to get a bribe out of his father. “Connor, I’ve been working here for 3 months. And you have not once been in the office. Come on man. You gotta get ready for that campaign. It’s not gonna look good for a president to be tied to a sexual assault case. Wait never mind. Makes sense. Go for it.” You let it go. You listened to Roman giggle in your ear. Willa looked at you just as confused as Connor kept trying to plead. But Logan set this meeting to an end. He left the table to think about it and take everyone's opinion into consideration.

Most of the family had left. But Roman remained on the boat. In hope you’ll talk to him. Jess even had left, hoping you’d give Roman a chance to talk to you.

You just wanted off the boat, but in order to do so, you would have to go on a small boat and sail off. So you just stayed on. Roman eyed you down before making one last attempt. “Hey uhm- did I get most of your plate right?” He asked you. You looked up at him, confused to what he was referring to. “Breakfast… I made sure you could even eat it…” He reminded. “Oh- uh- uh- yeah- it was all vegan. Thanks…” You mumbled, trying to look distracted, but it wasn’t working. There was nothing distracting you. “Yeah- that’s good. Uh- so Frank… What a fucking shit bag huh?” He tried to extend an arm out to you. You looked at him, desperate to have him leave you alone. “What do you want Roman?” You asked him. “I don’t know- just- for this shit to be fucking- I don’t know- normal… Like- I don’t know- maybe oh my god I’m so glad you’re not fucking dead or oh my god how does your ass feel after being pounded by 4 big men?” He tried to joke. You shook your head, putting your hat on your face to hide your disappointment. “How does your ass feel Roman? Do you need a pillow for your ass?” You asked him, your voice muffled through the hat. He shook his head no, but you couldn’t see.

“Yeah- uh- no- I’m fine” he said after realizing you couldn’t see him. “Can we just- just fucking talk or something? Please?” He continued.

“What is there to talk about Rome? You didn’t love me then. And now I don’t love you now. We’re even.” You just tried to hurt his feelings. You still loved him, but that love was extremely buried down deep inside.

“You love me. Shut up. I see that little twinkle in your eye every time you look at me.” He tried to push it out of you. You pulled the hat off your face, looking up at him. “See. It’s right there.” He was desperate to get a confession out of you.

“Roman- that was before- before you yelled at me for trying to comfort you. Before you ignored me. Before you passed off my admission to you. Before you left me in the dark about the most important things that could’ve possibly happened to you. As if what I said to you didn’t matter. As if I fucking lied about loving you.” You ranted.

But all Roman could respond with was “so you do still love me.”

He caught you there. Why would you care so deeply about not knowing first unless you loved him? You stared, unsure of how to make him stop with the pestering. “Yeah- you got me.” You mumbled, getting up, ready to walk away. “Stop fucking running off. This isn’t those stupid movies you’ve shown me where the person runs away and the other chases. Cause I did that. That night. But you’re oddly fast in heels.” He tried to defend himself. You refused to look his way. He just wishes you’d let your ego go. “I love you. Alright? I do. I wouldn’t try this fucking hard if I didn’t.” He was right. You wiggled your hand away from his. “Roman- but this is the issue. You don’t learn. I can’t just forgive. You can’t get that. You don’t get to fuck up and then be automatically forgiven.” You tried to lecture him about it. “You don’t think I know that? I do. I’m the only one out of my siblings who was taught that. So, don’t give me that oh you’re a billionaire bullshit. I know how to be a person. I’m not some fucking freak who just- fuck-…” he got frustrated trying to explain his view.

You judged him. You knew he was some rich kid who was spoiled beyond belief, but Roman knew more than anyone the word no and didn’t know forgiveness easily. He had to work for people's forgiveness his whole childhood, even when he didn’t have anything to be sorry for. He had to constantly beg for forgiveness for just being there at the wrong place, wrong time.

“I just need the time Roman. I don’t know if this could be whatever it was.” You admit. You knew you’d regret it sooner or later. But for now, your mind was made up. Roman just walked off, saving himself from further embarrassment.

Notes: now it's y/n time to be an awful person hehehe

Chapter 16

[neragufetta]

Link click S1

This is an incomplete list (apparently I love lists) of details scattered throughout the 1st season (still working on the 2nd, my head needs some rest) which seems to be either: hints to a deeper truth; red herrings; mistakes; meaningless details not to be taken seriously (except, in time traveling story, messing with dates and times would be silly, it shouldn’t happen, right? RIGHT??)

Unfortunately, at the moment I am unable to collect screenshot of the episodes as reference, but if you request them I can produce the timestamp.

Episode 1

Emma’s mother sends her a message at 02:47 of the 15th April 2021. The phone states “Wednesday”. Too bad April 15th 2021 was a Thursday. Why, Why Wednesday. Is that a mistake? Was it meant to say that they live in a different timeline? Is it a hint that shows that Time is already broken?

I had my timeline all done and to simplify it, I was sure that: - 14th at 22:00 – 16apr!CXS dives in Emma - 15th at 10:00 – 17apr!CXS dives back in the present - 16th, before evening – QL states the mission - 16th at 22:00 – CXS dive in 14apr!Emma - 17th at 10:00 – CXS dives back and LG pass the info on the fraud to the client. - 17th, Later that day, the fraud makes into the daily news - 17th evening – Emma goes home, finds spring rolls and blankets, calls her mother, meet Liu Min - 18th at dawn, Emma dies. - 18th evening, LG see the news about her death until I realized that the consensus is that the news about the fraud came out on the 15th already, which would make sense with her not seeing CXS message before coming back home and her parent arriving straight away. But then, How could the news about the fraud reach the public before Shiguang were involved? Another time traveler? A mistake? Which timeline makes more sense? I’m not sure anymore. Is it important? Most probably.

Emma's wristwatch consistently marks times inconsistent with the timeline, which I will just tag as “random watch pics, do not read too much into it” and move on, but I feel I still need to acknowledge them.

Episode 2

Now, I have nothing much to say about this episode, except that it seems to be completely separated from the main plot, every episode is strongly affecting the whole story, why this one does not? They could delete it without affecting the overall plot and it weirds me out, probably because I’m a little bit too paranoid at this point.

Episode 3-4-5

Three major problems with these episodes:

Obviously, the glasses issue: at first I indeed thought it was weird, but then we saw Liu Min walking easily while possessed, so I thought that, somehow, the possessor retains its physical characteristics while diving. But then, episode 12 kindly reminded us of this glasses detail. So what’s going on here? Are physical abilities passed down while diving or not? And in that case, what’s happening, someone put lenses on Chen Xiao? The glasses were not his? Is there someone else possessing him?

Why is Chen Xiao the only one actively asking to change the past? Any other case has always been just about retrieving information.

And why does LG accept? Because I’m definitely not buying that the only crucial node is the actual earthquake. After the dive, Chen Xiao should feel less guilty about that day, and therefore he has no reason to look for the “Fairy” in the first place. Isn’t there a time paradox through and through?

Episode 6-7

Why the date on the Security Camera is 20XX/XX/XX 14:48:12 instead of an actual date? What’s the secret here? Was it meant to hint that time is already broken (again) or was this an easy way to stalling because the authors had yet decided the days of the trip?

IF we agreed that, while diving, past and present time flows at the same speed, the two dives in these episodes overlap in present time:

first dive starts on October 13th at 14:30 in the present and presumably on 20XX/XX/XX at 14:30 in the past, the kidnapping seems to have occurred at 14:55, both in the past and in the past. We can presume that this dive ends way before the 12 hours limit was reached.

second dive begins right before the kidnapping, which again I presume happened on 20XX/XX/XX at about 14:55, then CXS awakes and LG states that the 12 hours period is almost done; the dive ends on October 14th at 02:55, which seems to suggest that the second dive started on October 13th at 14:55 BUT at that time CXS was still inside the first dive.

What’s happening here?? Am I wrong? Is time wrong? My goodness

Episode 8

This one drives me nuts for really no reason, I’m not even sure if I’m correct, BUT on the dial of Dong Yi’s wristwatch watch you can read what appears to be a 15 inside the box where, as far as I know, the day of the month is usually shown. IF this assumption is correct, Dong Yi’s watch marks that it is the 15th, while XSS’s phone marks that is October 21st.

Again, Why? Just why are they messing with our head?

Episode 9

Nothing new on this episode but, if only, this episode proofs that diving doesn’t need to start at the exact time the picture or video was taken, because CXS’s dive occurs somewhere between the 10:00 and the 14:45 of October 21st, while the dive’s time seems to be late evening (from more that 2 hours prior 22.34). Does this solve the issue with episodes 6 and 7? Not sure.

Episode 10

I’ll use this episode to address the elephant in the room: the 10:10 ghost clock!

The photo studio seems to have at least 2 clocks, one on the hall, with a red frame, plus another one in the darkroom.

However, a third ghost clock with a white or blueish frame switches place with the other 2 every now and then. The red clock seems to be working fine, the darkroom clock seems that either it stopped or it is 10 minutes off, the ghost clock always marks 10:10.

WHAT is this clock?! Is this a random clock picture just to fill the scene? Is it a hint that something happened at 10:10?

I, I… I’m lost.

Episode 11

I won't address Lu Guang's thought at the end of this episode but I'll leave them for my season 2 analyses, because they fit there better.

Therefore, nothing much is left to say about this episode, except that the darkroom wall with the clock keeps changing aspect (and even the clock disappears at some point).

But, just for the sake of my mind I will tag this as “do not read too much into this one” and, again, move on with my life.

And this was just season 1, I have no idea how mad it’s going to be during season 2.

[winter-leftovers]

Til The End Of Eternity || Chapter seventeen: A Little Bit Of Heaven (17/?)

(Douxie Casperan x f!reader)

Summary: Y/n is trying to figure her life out but is going to be hard since her brother is the new trollhunter and she is plagued by dreams and feelings she doesn’t understand.

Chapter Summary: Y/n and Douxie return to their old rutine. Jim has to face the tribunal

Word count: 1257

Warnings: no

(Season 2 Episodes: 10, 11)

Song?: Heaven by Mitski

Previous - Next

Masterlist

Y/n sipped Douxie’s leftover tea as he washed the dishes that were used over breakfast. She smiled to herself as she rebelled in the quiet domesticity. They had started to live together when they were just nineteen years old and they had the same small routine for a thousand years. Y/n would wake up and try to untangle herself from Douxie’s grasp only to be unsuccessful and lie there for another half hour until Douxie would turn for the last time in his sleep; then she would join their familiars in the kitchen who would be waiting for her to give them their morning pets even tho, Archie would never admit it; she would make breakfast for everyone: some kind of fish for the dragons-cats and whatever is in style at the time for them with two cups of tea with a little bit of milk because Douxie knows that Y/n always finishes his drink in the morning and he also knows that that’s her favorite morning drink.

“What are you looking at?” He asks without looking up.

“I missed this” she finishes the tea and puts Douxie’s cup in the sink. The familiar movement made her feel complete.

“I missed this too” he smiles.

“He really did” Al jumped on the counter “The first couple of years he would cry to a picture…”

“Ok…Ok…Shoo…shoo” Douxie splashes some water with his fingers making Al jump back to the floor.

“Hey” the cat complained.

“Hey! I wanted to hear the story” Y/n walked to Al and lifted him up “Tell me, Ali. How much did Douxie cry?” Y/n said mockingly

“Well…” they walked to the couch and Al started to recount all the times Douxie’s heart couldn’t contain the hurt of being apart from her girlfriend.

“Oh, I love these stories” Archie jumped to the couch and rested his head on Y/n’s elbow.

Douxie groaned but they ignored them, too interested in Al’s story. He groaned again, louder as the stories continued to pile up and the laughter would filled the room

“C’mon!” Douxie kneeled in front of Y/n and dropped his head on her lap.

“Hisirdoux” Y/n sang while she massaged Douxie’s scalp “Are you getting shy?”

“Mmmh”

Y/n laughed. Douxie had come a long way since their days in Camelot. In the olden days, he was a shy, clumsy teenager but now, in the 21st century Douxie was no longer a child or a shy teenager, he was a man, a charming man that had half of the population of Arcadia eating from the palm of his hands even if he doesn’t quite realize. But when it comes to Y/n, he returns to that reckless, shy boy in a man-bun that would marvel at the young prodigy from afar.

“Hisirdoux?” She repeated.

“No” he felt his cheeks burn. Without moving his head from her lap, Douxie hugged Y/n’s waist.

“Can I finish the story about the time you thought you saw her in Uruguay?” Al asked to Douxie’s scalp.

“No”

Y/n smiled “Oh, Doux” she stretched her hands and put them under his shirt. Y/n felt Douxie shiver. Smiling to herself as she felt the power she still had over him. She continued to lower herself until her mouth was over his ear “I love to hear how much you missed me” she whispered.

Douxie quickly lifted his face. His expression was serious but his cheeks were crimson.

“You’re such a tease” he whispered into her lips.

“Can’t help it” she smiled before kissing him.

“You are disgusting” Archie groaned as ran to the other side of the room followed by Al that would turn to look at them just to gag.

Y/n and Douxie pulled apart and to laugh.

“I think someone is jealous” said Douxie.

Archie sat down in front of the window, turning his head away from the couple.

“Arch, are you jealous?” Y/n shared a look with Douxie.

The cat didn’t answer, he just kept moving his tail side to side.

With a quick move of Y/n’s fingers, a red light engulfed Archie and the cat started floating back to the coach.

“Hey! I don’t like this” he complained.

“Well, I was worried” Y/n grab him from the air and hold him close to her chest like a child and the cat didn’t complain this time “I asked you something and you didn’t answer!”

Archie rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, Arch. Don’t be jea… Ouch!” Douxie tried to pet his familiar’s head but he hit him before he could get close.

“Don’t touch me” Archie warned and got comfortable in Y/n’s arms.

“What?!” Douxie looked up to Y/n for help and she just laughed.

“Aw, you missed me too, Arch” Y/n lowered herself to kiss none-stop Archie’s head. He pretended to fight at first but after a couple seconds of purrs he gave in.

“And I was the dramatic one” Al whispered from his new spot on Douxie’s lap.

“We all know I’m Arch favorite” Y/n said into Archie’s head.

The cat didn’t answer, he was too lost in the comfort the touch of her lost friend was giving him.

“I’m not sure I like your lack of answer there, Arch” Douxie half joked “Aren’t you going to say anything?” He gently shook Al that was laying belly up, grooming his left paw

“I’m really sure about my place in the world” he said and continued grooming his paw.

The wizards chuckled.

—

Y/n walked out of the store after a quiet shift when Toby’s screams made her stop.

“Toby? What’s going on?” She meet him halfway.

“It’s Jim” the boy to pull her by the arm “The tribunal has him in a cage. You have to come with me!” The boy pulled harder. He was desperate, scared. The memory of his friend sitting in that cage was haunting him, especially because he wasn’t able to do anything.

“What? Why?” She followed him without complaining.

“Gunmar got out”

Y/n felt a shiver run down her spine. The war was over. They won. The Darklands were supposed to be a secure prison, nothing was supposed to get out.

They ran to TrollMarket in silence, both too consumed in nervousness to talk. The darkness of the dungeon wrapping their brains.

One of Krubera opened Jim’s cage.

“Are you alright?” Asked Blinky

Jim came out of the cage charging but stopped when he saw his friends.

“Are you okay? Did they rough you up?” Claire ran to hug him.

“No, Claire. I’m…I’m okay!” He smiled and joined Toby to the hug

“We’ve come to escort you to the tribunal” Blinky pointed to the exit, eyes full of worry.

“They say if you’re found guilty, you could die. Is that true?” Toby looked at his friend for a hopeful answer.

“He would walk free if he surrenders the Amulet” Queen Usurna interrupted “What is your choice, Trollhunter?”

“Uh, the one where he doesn’t die?” Toby said.

“No” Jim took a step forward “I’m keeping my Amulet” without taking his eyes off of Usurna he put his armor on.

“Is that what you want?” Y/n put a hand on her little brother’s shoulder.

“Yes, Y/n. Never been more sure” Jim smiled and turned to the rest of the room “I’ll face whatever comes my way”

“Jim…” Toby’s desperate call for his friend was drowned by Usurna’s voice.

“So be it, Trollhunter, your trial awaits”

A/n: its 23:12 and its 28C. Im ready to sleep for 14 hour until I have to leave my house again. Tell me again why I was born in such a hot and humid country? I’ll try to write and chat with you more often! Mila out

[frontlinebicepsoftheninth]

I saw you tagged killing eve in the 'worst series finale' poll - how *does* it end? I watched the first two seasons and then lost interest. (also I hope you're having a good day!)

first of all thank you i am and i hope you are too!!

but alright here we go ⚠️⚠️ MAJOR SPOILER WARNING MAJOR SPOILER WARNING ⚠️⚠️ for anyone who does want to watch for themselves bc tbh the first few seasons are excellent but i honestly don't know if i can recommend them anymore in good faith after knowing where it all ends up

so okay. you know how the whole crux of the show is this intense psychosexual relationship between eve and villanelle. and how there's an obvious romantic tension between them. well from what i remember (cause it's been a while) they started actually working together in season 3, but then because they realized they make each other worse they had this whole dramatic moment where they walked away from each other on a bridge and weren't supposed to look back but of course they both did turn around at the last second and then the season ends.

flash forward to season 4 and you can tell time has passed and they aren't working together and it's implied there was some big falling out and we have no idea what it is. eve is just annoyed and done with villanelle and villanelle is like trying to prove she's not a bad person and goes to church and stuff and actually that plot was extremely hilarious and she imagined up a drag jesus version of herself for advice and they were acting like exes and it was playing into the whole comedic surrealism aspect of the show really well. but after the first few episodes it just kinda fell apart like i just remember feeling lost all season and not understanding where we were going and this is definitely due to the changing showrunners (they should have just kept pwb for the whole thing!!!!) but they kept adding new characters out of nowhere, some of which were really well done but then we were following plots that were thrown in randomly and it was just a bit of a mess.

but eventually by the LITERAL SERIES FINALE eve and villanelle have both given in to the fact that they enjoy being in each other's company as the worst versions of themselves (which is honestly such a fun direction to go that i really enjoyed especially for a sapphic pairing). and after they've been apart for a vast majority of the season finally they have this good banter going and it's all domestic and then there's a scene where they're walking down an empty road together and this romantic music comes in. and they finally literally actually have The Moment. like they had kissed before in the previous season but not in an explicitly romantic way, they were physically fighting each other on a public bus and eve kissed villanelle to throw her off before headbutting her (SO GRIDDLEHARK OF THEM THAT SCENE IS ACTUALLY SO GOOD) anyways. villanelle kisses eve on the cheek and then eve stares at her and grabs her and they make out for a solid FORTY-FIVE SECONDS. it was so intense and they're kissing as they're stumbling down the road and they run back to the camper van they were travelling in and it's for sure implied that they have sex in there. so everyone was like oh my fucking god they actually did it. like this is where the show was always going, it's a whole I Can Make You Worse thing where both people were like "fuck it i'll be worse then" and gave in to the tension that had been building for years not just within the plot but FOR VIEWERS SINCE 2018.

so i don't exactly remember what happens next but the whole season they've been trying to kill The Twelve which was the assassin group in charge of villanelle, and we find out carolyn was a founding member actually, and i will be honest that plot was always confusing to me but iirc she wasn't with them anymore. so eve and villanelle infiltrate this wedding party boat that's a cover for a meeting of The Twelve (this is like the last 10 minutes of the show now) and they kiss again and there's a scene where it's like they're indirectly talking to each other through the wedding speech that eve somehow ends up giving and that's so romantic too and then villanelle slinks off, finds the meeting, and murders everyone. so yay the protagonists are together finally and villanelle killed her abusers and they are finally in happy gay love. then out of fucking nowhere as they're standing outside on the boat villanelle starts to get shot at. (this is literally the last five minutes of the entire show now) and she falls into the river or maybe jumps in to get away i don't remember and she's still getting shot and eve is swimming to try to catch her. and it's all this dramatic slow-mo beautifully shot stuff that's like horrible in context cause the blood is blooming in the water and eve can't reach villanelle and they do a whole creation of adam hand reach before villanelle slips into the depths.

so literally eve had just thrown away any chance at a normal life to embrace the side of her that loves violence and loves villanelle so they could spend the rest of their life together and that was such a slay. and then she loses villanelle which like, if they wanted a tragic ending it would have been kinder to kill them both, it's so much fucking worse to leave eve spending the rest of her life mourning the one person who understood her and let her give in to her carnal desires. and it is directly after letting the two queer characters finally achieve happiness that one of them is killed off which is the DEFINITION of the bury your gays/dead lesbian syndrome tropes, there have been literal academic papers written on how the phenomenon is like a punishment for queer joy etc etc. this shit has been in the discourse for decades and they fell dead center into the trope which is just so disappointing because at the start ke was such a unique story and one of the first mainstream shows that embraced morally gray queer characters in a way that wasn't homophobic.

oh! and guess who shot villanelle? carolyn!!!! and it was still NEVER CLEAR WHY! she worked for MI6 now so it being in revenge of The Twelve didn't really add up, some people thought she wanted to kill villanelle as like a prize for MI6, it was kind of implied that konstantin told her in this note he spent his last breaths writing (yeah he also died which was the saddest tbh) that villanelle had killed carolyn's son kenny (this was a major plot point of season 3 and carolyn was trying to get revenge, he fell off a building under mysterious circumstances) but that made no sense because it was implied to be konstantin since he was on the roof with kenny and also villanelle was literally in fucking spain or something the episode when it happened.

like i get it. this is a tragic show. people die every episode. but from a writing standpoint it makes absolutely zero fucking sense to kill off one of the two main characters of your show, in the last five minutes of the show, after finally cashing in on your flagship queer romance between them, and leaving the motivation for killing her completely ambiguous.

anyways i'm so sorry that ended up this long jesus christ but tldr: killing eve ends in the worst bury your gays i have ever seen after a season that didn't even have good plot or pacing

[ghostscrown]

Let me introduce you to... a typical Ninjago season :

Lloyd gets kidnapped at least once

Cole adopts some traumatized kids / creatures he found in a forgotten, lonely place

Jay becomes the leader of a cult or something

Zane "dies" for the 182737492th time

Nya kicks something (or someone)

Kai runs straight into the danger powered with raw confidence and survives only by pure luck

New outfits for everyone

The animation had another glow up

Jay and Cole are paired for a mission but they have the worst influence on each other's dumbness and mess up so bad you wonder why they're still allowed to work together

Kai tries to show off but miserably fails

Lloyd thinks he's Steven Universe and tries to redeem a villain

Jay spends 99% of his screentime uncontrollably yelling

Wu reveals crazy family lore he was hiding since forever

Kai gets rejected by Skylor

Cole wants cake. Now.

Lloyd gets more daddy issues than he already had (you didn't know it was even possible)

Star Wars reference

Wth is Garmadon doing this time ?

Nya is constantly on the verge of committing murder

Kai bullies Jay

Pixal somehow manages to stay calm

Lloyd is still in his angsty teenage era except he's now a grown adult

Zane is silly, the worst things possible happen to him, then he's silly again

There's another plot hole but the lore is so crazy already no one is gonna care

Shout out to Ninjago City citizen still living here knowing their lives are in constant danger every single second they stay in this place

Nya and Jay keeps being the only healthy stable romance in the whole show

Dareth unexpectedly ends up being useful

Lloyd do the thing with his eyes when it's getting serious (you instantly start screaming)

Kai says "fiyah"

"Yep so I saw [a main character] falling of a rock so they're definitely dead." "But maybe they..." - "NOPE. THEY'RE DEAD" - "aww ok" (they are, in fact, alive)

The team yells "ninja, go !" at least once

Characters are listening to music. It's The Weekend Whip by The Fold.

Why does someone has to stay behind and why is it Zane.

"You know I'm very old I'm gonna die soon" has said Wu every single day of the past 100 years of his life

Nya builds crazy vehicles again

This is a found family trope and they want you to know it

You spotted a pride flag in the background of a 0.5 seconds action scene and you already know the homophobic fans are going to lose their minds over it again

Snakes. Snakes everywhere.

A villain has the most brutal death on screen and you wonder how th this got approved for a kid show, until the show itself makes a joke about it

"Gasp ! Are we... Gonna lose our powers ???" (no they won't)

Jay's parents are in danger

Crazy plot twist happens and you suddenly realize it's been foreshadowed every single season in the previous 10 seasons but you never paid attention to it until now

Something that happened in a previous season gets referenced and you nostalgia cry about it for a whole episode

"Omg, was that the last and final season of Ninjago ???" (no it wasn't, nothing can end this show, we'll all die way before it does, now get ready for the next arc because it's probably gonna last ten more years)

[vashsscoreboardofpain]

WELCOME BACK SPORTS FANS TO "VASH'S SCORE BOARD OF PAIN" :D

Another day, another chance for our contestant to speedrun one of the most expensive therapy bills ever

It is time for episode 3!

Our contestant wastes no time on this episode. Before the episode hits 2 minutes, stampede vash gets a "bad event" point for looking at someone exploding!. Under normal circumstances this would be a traumatic event but the referee saw no big reaction from the contestant.

After careful consideration, the suffering division has decided to give Stampede Vash 1 "bad event point" for the whole chase scene. It is not traumatic but everyone agreed that someone throwing small bombs/grenades at the contestant and the contestant's lack of effort for protecting himself deserves a point. Wait, hold up...

The lack of effort on protecting himself has given him 1 "action" point!

The debutant wont stop at that however. After getting shaken like a maraca (another "bad event" point for him) the episode starts to get serious. The contestant gets in a debate about revenge and gets to breathe for 10 seconds and then, he appears. Ladies, gentleman and people from multiple sides of the spectrum, give a warm welcome to the mvp of this episode, the one and only who will give stampede vash most of his points: Million Knives!

The audience is confused at the classical music, and the other contestants on the sidelines look so tense they have their guns ready.

The young contestant keeps going, and just before the round hits 11 minutes, he hits with 4 POINTS IN A ROW: 1 "action" point due to the lack of action in front of his brother and his insults, 1 "yikes statement" point for the "you havent changed at all moment," 1 "action" point for not protecting himself from knives taking his gun and 1 "bad event" point for getting trapped...somewhere. ALL OF THIS IN JUST ONE MINUTE. TRULY INCREDIBLE. THE CROWD CHEERS FOR STAMPEDE VASH.

Once he gets freed from...that...place, THERE HE GOES AGAIN, ANOTHER "BAD EVENT" POINT FOR SEEING HOW HIS BROTHER CUTS SOMEONE ELSE'S ARM. THE DEBUTANT JUST WONT STOP.

The contestant disappears for a couple of minutes, but it looks like he will go all out in this round. No matter how many points he has, he will keep getting more. Right before knives takes the plant the contestant arrives to get more points thanks to his brother. He gets 1 "action" point since he shows his brother asking him which side is he on clearly distresses him, 1 "bad event" point for shooting at knives and realizing theres nothing he can do, and here it is people in the audience, he gets THE FIRST "TRAUMATIC EVENT" POINT. THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD WHILE THE 2 OTHER VASHS COVER THEIR EYES.

STAMPEDE VASH RUNS AWAY FROM THE CHAOS HIS BROTHER BRINGS, AND WHILE RUNNING HE GETS ANOTHER "YIKES STATEMENT POINT" FOR WANTING TO KNOW WHY KNIVES IS DOING ALL THIS. THIS GUY IS TRULY ON FIRE!

AND THEN, peace arrives. the setting is quiet, the episode is about to end, but even with 4 minutes left, stampede vash still has more to give in the playing field.

Just right before the episode ends, stampede vash gets 1 "action" point for his reaction when rosa calls his brother a monster, another one when rosa tells him he should have never been there, ANOTHER ONE when rosa calls him the humanoid typhoon, AND FINALLY, TO CLOSE IT ALL IN A PERFECT AND TRAUMATIC LITTLE BOW-

Stampede vash gets 2 more points: 1 "action point," for smiling through his pain, and 1 "yikes statement" point, for the "i dont deserve to cry statement."

the contestant falls onto the floor, tired. both emotionally and physically. while the doctors take him away the suffering division counts the points. Officially, stampede vash adds 18 POINTS TO HIS TALLY. THE AUDIENCE WHO CAME FOR THE DEBUTANT HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS

THIS MEANS STAMPEDE VASH SO FAR HAS A TOTAL OF 35 POINTS.

PLEASE SHARE YOUR OPINIONS ON THIS ROUND WITH THE #VASHSSCOREBOARDOFPAIN

WE WILL SEE YOU FOR THE NEXT ROUND SOON SPORTS FANS