#screw u now im starving

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

How's the eating habit of everyone? Is someone a vegetarian or a meat lover? Do they eat a lot or still only a little? Anyone allergic? Favorite food and most disliked? Comfort food maybe?

Kai- General Habits: Always skewered his meals towards smaller portions while growing up, and now doesn't need to eat very much before feeling full. Regardless, will still get hit with massive hunger pangs if he's not eating up to the demands of his body. Fave Food: Anything spicy—hotter the better Will Not Eat: Anything made by Cole Comfort Food: Fruits, ironically Allergies: None

Jay- General Habits: Has a high metabolism, thus tends to eat a lot at once like it's nothing and carry on. And then maybe eat some more. Never really noticed this until becoming a ninja for obvious reasons. Fave Food: He is a Meat Lover courtesy of his parents Will Not Eat: Octopus or Squid (out of respect to Tawhiri) Comfort Food: Chicken and Waffles Allergies: Peanuts, and especially Peanut Butter. Even just the smell will take him out.

Cole- General Habits: He has a very refined palate due to his upbringing, and due to this, whatever he eats almost never feels fully satisfying... which, of course, leads to eating more. This is why dishes made by Zane and/or Jesse always manage to blow his mind snksnksnk Fave Food: Cake, and Soups/Stews/Chowders Will Not Eat: There is nothing he won't try at least once Comfort Food: Cake Allergies: None

Zane- General Habits: Likes making food for others than actually eating it, but his parents made sure he could understand and appreciate the taste of a good meal, and thus tries to keep that in mind forever going forward. Fave Food: French Toast Will Not Eat: Anything with a bad texture Comfort Food: Muffins Allergies: None

Nya- General Habits: Doesn't have a very large appetite, but never turns away any kind of a meal either (unless seafood is present). Fave Food: Anything Chocolate Will Not Eat: SEAFOOD Comfort Food: Again, Chocolate Allergies: Possibly shellfish, though she can't even stomach it long enough to truly find out.

Lloyd- General Habits: Due to literally being made of energy, he gets hungry, but doesn't need to eat as much as anyone else (this is also why he can go so long without food to begin with snksnksnk). Is also horribly picky about what goes in his mouth, but generally trusts what his friends cook (except when Zane tries to sneak him a vegetable) Fave Food: Doesn't have one Will Not Eat: VEGETABLES Comfort Food: Is candy a food? But also Zane's muffins Allergies: Sesame

Jesse- General Habits: Is the type of person to work out a meal plan several weeks ahead, so he always knows what he needs when he needs and how much of it. Being a part-time ninja (and thus missing a sizable amount of school lunches. and dinners. and the occasional breakfast) skewers his plans just a bit, however. Fave Food: Noodle Bowls, or Pasta, depending on mood Will Not Eat: Scrambled Eggs Comfort Food: Frozen Yogurt Allergies: None

Olivia- General Habits: Doesn't really have a lot of opportunities to sit down and simply enjoy food, so a lot of what she consumes has to be eaten "on the go". Would probably devour a fish straight out of the ocean if she could. Fave Food: Seafood (don't tell Nya) Will Not Eat: Tends to avoid foods with extreme temperatures Comfort Food: Smoothies, and Beef Jerky Allergies: Mustard

Antonia- General Habits: A SNACKER. Always has something crunchy in a bag not too far away from arm's reach, for a quick pick-me-up during long writing/editing sessions. (Sounds like me). Only really partakes in big meals when it's being shared with others—she's a fan of being in company when she dines. Fave Food: Sandwiches Will Not Eat: Anything with weird smells Comfort Food: Ice Cream Allergies: Onions and Peppers

Harumi- General Habits: Adores homemade meals and is probably the biggest consumer of "Comfort foods", but after The Incident, doesn't have a lot of exposure to those type of meals anymore. Not that she hates the more high-class menu she gets exposed to; it's just not the same. Fave Food: Caramel Apple Turnovers, made by her mom Will Not Eat: Sauerkraut Comfort Food: Caramel Apple Turnovers, made by her mom Allergies: Tree Nuts

Miranda- General Habits: Is not a picky eater whatsoever, and basically has it made living in a family of professional chefs, is just extremely lazy when it comes to making food for herself. Fave Food: Jesse's takoyaki Will Not Eat: Deviled Eggs Comfort Food: Jesse's takoyaki Allergies: Eggs, but grows out of it

Pixal- General Habits: Doesn't really like to eat, as she wasn't exactly built for that nor can taste much anyway. Upon rebuilding herself, she does include the ability to do so to feel a little less left out, but it takes a lot to work her up into wanting to eat regularly, which is made easier by Zane's patience and incredibly tasty meals. Fave Food: Does not have one Will Not Eat: Anything not made by her friends or loved ones–she has to know where the food comes from Comfort Food: Also Zane's muffins Allergies: None

Skylor- General Habits: Initially has a skewered taste towards more tropical flavors and ofc noodles, but upon moving to Ninjago City becomes obsessed with all the new and different flavors she's never really had the chance to try. Hardly has a comfort food because she likes having a fresh experience every time she eats, but Kai does get her hooked on spice eventually Fave Food: Pizza Will Not Eat: There's isn't a lot she won't eat, but she does get absolutely sick of noodles every now and then. Comfort Food: Spicy Food Allergies: Soy

Harleigh- General Habits: Low metabolism, which comes in handy when you're a ghost. Also a very picky eater, even moreso than Lloyd, and doubly so because she can't handle gluten. Fave Food: Breakfast Foods (which Dareth takes to making it specifically to her complicated tastes, which she appreciates) Will Not Eat: Her mother's cooking Comfort Food: Gluten-Free Corn Bread Allergies: Wheat, and Gluten Intolerant

Sunni- General Habits: Not exactly a vegetarian or vegan, but generally tries to avoid meat and animal products as best she can. She has moments of weakness though. Especially around cheese and ice cream. Which she shouldn't be eating anyway. Fave Food: Sweet Potato Mac and Cheese Will Not Eat: Meats, but will make rare exceptions for fish Comfort Food: Blackberry Brie Grilled Cheese Allergies: Lactose Intolerant

[keilemlucent]

long days for bad people

(r18+)

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

word count: ~6k

Being a prized, adored possession was far better than you thought it would be.

warnings: light daddy kink (no age play, just the name in mostly jest), spit kink, crying kink, degradation, brief descriptions of blood + violence, kidnapping (consensual?? read a/n), brat taming, light sadomasochism, mind break, praise kink

------

here it is, mafia au, villain hawks, dom, brat tamer, soft(?!) hawks. what more could you want? 

there’s briefly described kidnapping at the beginning of the fic but it is reiterated throughout that this is consensual! no yandere/stockholm stuff in this fic. 

i’ve been working on this one for a while and i’m happy to finally share it. hope y’all enjoy!!

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You shouldn’t have fucked around with the League.

God, it was common knowledge in the parts of town and circles you inhabited. Of all criminal syndicates, mobs, to fuck with, the League wasn’t one of them. They were known for their complete cruelty and violent delights. The League had such a reputation due to the fact that they openly left bodies carved up and burnt as they pleased.

But, you were a fucking idiot and got involved anyways.

It was a small loan, Giran almost seemed to scoff when he gave you the cash. You and your almost-stranger of a roommate were just very late on some bills and were going to lose a lot of material items if you didn’t scrounge up at least two paychecks in about three days. 

You swallowed your pride and took the first and easiest loan you could get. That just happened to be with gap-toothed, wide-grinning Giran of the League. He, you knew from what you’d heard, was somewhat fair in matters like yours. 

You had two weeks to pay him back.

...

You didn’t make it in time.

You were close to the amount, notably. You scrounged and clawed your way into getting the cash back. You weren’t much of a pickpocket, but you snagged some odd jobs around the apartment building that you and your roommate were still fortunate enough to keep a room in.

After one particular job, a nasty carpentry gig that you weren’t qualified for, you returned home tired and worn.

Sure, you were a day late on payment. But with this last gig, you were so close. The League would have to pity two, stupid, stupid young girls?

They didn’t, you realized, as you stepped into your apartment.

Your roommate's slain corpse was laying over the arm of your cheap couch, eyes vacant and mouth dripping blood onto the old beige carpet.

You dropped to your knees, horrified and completely stunned.

“You should’ve known better,” it was a hum from across the room, from a figure you didn’t even know was in the room until then. “Really, you’d expect folks to be smarter.”

Your mouth dried as the figure moved from the nighttime shadows, flashing a dazzling smile and ruffling crimson wings.

Hawks.

You’d heard of him, everyone had. Terrifying, fast, precise, and cutthroat. He took orders and didn’t ask questions other than snark. He talked too much, fucked too much. 

“W-wait,” You didn't know why you were pleading, but you had to try, right? “I’m so close, wait��”

Hawks sauntered up to you wielding one of his feather blades, the red of blood mixing with the filaments of his feathers.

He crouched down in front of you, tsking, “I don’t like begging, angel. I’ll make this quick for you. Your friend there?”

Hawks jerked his finger behind to your dead roommate.

“She fought, pleaded, begged, all that normal shit I don’t like hearing when shitheads like you two don’t make payday,” his voice was slow, talking about death like some casual thing. “I’ll make this nice and fast if you don’t run your mouth anymore, how about that?”

You swallowed, nodding.

The small percentage of your brain that was fully functioning figured dying quickly was a much better way to go than whatever the hell had happened to your roommate. There was far too much blood for that to be quick.

Hawks hummed, the tip of his feather blade tipping up your chin so you were forced to meet his gaze. You vaguely heard the pitter-patter of your tears hitting the carpet below. Blood rushed in your ears as you stared death in the face.

Hawks appraised you.

You watched the metaphorical cogs and wheels turning in Hawks’ skull as he looked you up and down before flashing forward, gathering you in his arms and flying from the apartment. 

Your first thought was obvious as you clung to him in the open air:

He’s going to drop you and kill you.

When you screamed, tears growing thicker, he slapped a gloved hand over your mouth, “I’m giving you an out, kid. Trust me. You’ll prefer this over death.”

 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 Your new existence was certainly better than death.

If you were ever caught and convicted of any of the illegal things you participated in, you’d be fucked, thrown into prison until you rotted, until you were just dust and bone.

But, until then, you worked for the League.

You had groveled at the feet of their leader, Shigaraki, hands clasped on your lap, claiming your worth, or maybe lack thereof. Not many attachments, not many people who’d miss you, a semi-useful quirk. 

With a boot shoved into your skull, he sneered that you’d be the League’s new errand dog. 

The real reason they accepted you was due to the threatening air Hawks was exuding and the fact that their old ‘errand bitch’ had died the week prior. They needed a new body to act as a civilian and do things that only an unsuspecting-looking ‘civilian’ could. You fit the bill, and Hawks had taken a liking to you.

 Oddly, working for the League was actually pretty okay.

You got your own room. It was small, but you only had to share a bathroom with the somewhat unhinged Himiko, but she was fairly nice once she warmed up to you. Everyone lived in the League’s HQ and went about their business, getting drunk at their bar front each night.

Most of the mess happened at night, but it was important to put on a nice veneer and keep spirits high. Not to mention that no one would dared to fuck with the League, anyways. The cops and federal government had long been paid off due to the resources that the League had acquired for them. 

You felt somewhat untouchable.

A lot of this confidence was due to the fact that you had become Hawks’s... Keigo’s...

‘Songbird’

As he liked to call you, anyway. 

Keigo was the general, loveable annoyance of the League, but his connections were invaluable and his skills were unmatched. Despite how he could grate on people (read: Dabi and Shigaraki), he was respected and feared just as much as everyone else was, if not more so. And being his metaphorical and literal pet had its perks.

Sure, the first time he had you come to his ‘office’ and he fucked you against the window until it was smeared with cum and blood was a bit surprising, but god, if you didn’t fucking love it. Being Keigo’s personal fucktoy came with protection, pleasure, and a surprising amount of genuine attention. The dude was lonely, and so were you. The two of you made a good ‘couple’, if you could even call yourselves that. The sadism he doled out was always counterpointed by affections that did seem genuine. 

Keigo was fond of you, and you of him. Maybe your brush with death had twisted something in your head, to even allow yourself to get close to a man like Keigo, but you couldn’t make yourself care. 

You were comfortable and content. 

...

[bird boss]: hey babe ;^) get to my office in the next thirty minutes 

[you]: what if i don’t

[bird boss]: do u really want to find out

[you]: ...

[you]: im just curious 

[bird boss]: don’t get cheeky songbird 

[you]: u make me wanna u know

[you]: i know it gets you riled up

[bird boss]: tread lightly kid

[you]: oooo i gave you some guff over text

[you]: what’re you gonna do about it?

[bird boss]: use your imagination

[bird boss]: 25 minutes now, songbird

[bird boss]: don’t make this worse for yourself <3

 You set your phone on your cheap duvet, quickly primped yourself to see Keigo. He wasn’t too strict about your appearance but wearing dark clothes and some of the more expensive gifts he’d gotten you over the months he’d been screwing you never hurt. Something about ownership with him always got him hot and bothered. 

You tried to remind yourself frequently that Keigo saw you as some sort of possession, but a possession with feelings.

Meandering through HQ was always a bit daunting, despite your protections. Your skimpy outfit choice and hardly-hidden lingerie made you feel a bit more like an object than you liked too. 

There were hardly hungry mouths around the League, they kept you all fed, but god, were there starving eyes. 

Dabi wolf-whistled as you walked past him through a common room, shouting something about how Keigo was collecting his pound of flesh for the day. Maybe a line or two about being a whore, but that was all flavor at that point. Keigo called you far meaner, more sinful things. And hell, it wasn’t like Keigo hadn’t... shared you on more than one occasion. 

Maybe you were a little fucked up for enjoying your lifestyle to the degree you did, but why not indulge where you could? Life was far shittier scraping paint off old fences and picking up cans to just scrape by. 

Opulence was a breath of fresh air. And if you were Keigo’s fuck toy? Then, god, you were Keigo’s fuck toy.

When you arrived at Keigo’s office, you knocked gently on the door, quickly adjusting your skirt and blouse. 

The door opened, though no one was behind it. Only a single one of Keigo’s feathers allowed you entrance. 

His office seemed daunting and extravagant for a man who did most of his ‘work’ in far-shadier, far-bloodier places. The walls were covered in mirrors and old paintings, something out of vanity and pride, knowing how Keigo saw himself. There were several black leather couches scattered around against walls, some stained by your various... activities. There was a broad desk parallel to a back wall made entirely of windows. 

Night had fallen, leaving the room lit by a few lamps and warm fixtures. 

“Hey, boss,” You hummed as you stepped in, shutting the door behind you just before the lingering scarlet feather flicked the lock on the door.

And the other one.

And the deadbolt.

You swallowed thickly. 

As much as you enjoyed a lot of the perks of your... position, it was also daunting.

Keigo was daunting, all bloody colors, vanity, and hunger. 

He sat behind his desk, wings puffed up, and partially extended over the back of his chair. The desk chair was massive, specifically acquired so that you would have enough room to properly straddle his lap for hours on end if he so wished. 

Keigo idly clicked around on his desktop computer. He leaned slack and back into the chair, legs spread wide and exuding casual confidence that reeked of his own ego. 

Keigo normally wore a mix of black and red, as edgy as it was. He liked to seem clean, hide the stains of sanguine that undoubtedly lingered on him no matter how he tried to cleanse himself. His black slacks were pressed, the seams pristine. The black shirt he wore was rolled up to his elbows, the buttons of his red vest undone as well. His black tie hung half-undone and limp around his neck. His tousled gold hair was mussed as normal, ruffled by his flights. His feathers might’ve needed preening, but you doubted that that was the reason he called you to his office. 

And based on the deep set of his brow and the sickly smile on his lips, he was already on edge and in a mood. 

“Songbird, come over here, will you?” Keigo sat back from his typing, watching you from across the room. He took you in the same way a parched man sucks down red wine, greedily and soon to be fucked. “On my lap.”

You complied, despite your earlier attitude. You padded across the room, going around his desk. 

As you moved to straddle his lap, worn hands gripped your waist. His amber eyes gave you a warning, crinkling at the edges, “Not like that, sweetheart. Do daddy right.”

Oh, so it was one of those moods. 

Maybe you were Keigo’s sexual punching bag so he could exert control on something he could later kiss better and patch up. 

Sure, he was going to fucking ruin you, but part of the fun with him was that the more it hurt, the nicer he was after. And, all things considered, with some of the... other folks the League brought in to satiate its member’s desires, you fared far better. Keigo cared about you, in his own particular way. 

You tried to lean over his lap yourself, but his hands and feathers positioned you perfectly as he wanted. With the tight grip he had on your waist and shoulders, dragging you just as he liked, it was easy to see his need for control. 

Your head hung off of one of his thighs as you squirmed in his lap. His bulge already pressed into your ribs, a wonderful reminder of the reward you’d reap later on. Keigo’s hands gathered your hand to the small of your back, a feather replacing their grip a moment later.

“Sit with me while I finish this shit,” Keigo grumbled, going back to clicking the desktop. His leg bobbed absentmindedly, his free hand rubbing over the curve of your barely-covered ass. “Be a good girl, (Y/N). If you can stand that.”

He laughed under his breath. 

You let your head dangle limply downwards, blood rushing to your cheeks. 

You’d thought you’d be in for more of an ass-kicking, but it appeared Keigo was taking things unusually slow. You knew better than to complain, but kicking up a bit of metaphorical sand couldn’t be that bad, right?

“I dunno,” You hummed, kicking your legs lightly. “I don’t think you like it when I’m a ‘good girl’, daddy.”

“Watch it.” A single, sharp smack to your butt was hardly enough to shut you up, but Keigo did so all the same, rubbing over the covered flesh a moment later, “I’m not in the mood.”

“Are you sure about that?” You wriggled, intentionally pushing up against his growing erection.

His breath stuttered, a smirk pulling at the corners of your lips. The hand on your ass didn’t rear again, rather Keigo kept thumbing smooth circles as he continued to click around on the computer. He might have been actually doing work. Or, he was ignoring you, egging your sass on. 

“If you didn’t want anything, why’d you call me in here?” You asked, way too cheeky for the way Keigo’s body was practically vibrating underneath you. Pissing him off had consequences, of course, but you weren’t in the mood to play ‘good girl’ that day.

“I told you, I want you to sit with me,” Keigo pinched your ass. “But, you’re too mouthy to do just that one thing. You’re usually better than this.”

“Am I?” You played innocent, craning to give him a wide smile. “Hadn’t noticed. What I am noticing, is your already-hard cock, dear.”

“Oh, ‘dear’?!” Keigo paused on the computer. “Cheeky. Cute.” 

Keigo would just dig in more, lean in, before ‘snapping’, if you could call it that.

You gulped as his hand swatted at upper thighs, his nails almost knicking your skin.

“Up and don’t get smart about it.”

Oh, you were going to be remarkably smart about it.

You rose but hardly stayed upright for long. Sliding down to your knees, you pushed at Keigo’s legs, “Wouldn’t you prefer me down here? Just for a treat while you finish your work?”

Keigo clicked his tongue, gaze flickering down to you, “Fine. Behave yourself.”

Yeah, right. You both knew that that wasn’t going to happen. 

You were already tucked underneath his desk, undoing the fly of his pants. 

You pulled his cock from his trousers, pumping his cock to full hardness. Smearing around preek for a bit of extra flare before inching forward.

Wrapping your mouth around Keigo’s dick was somewhat of a feat— he had a decent girth to him, so you usually took the opportunity to warm him (and yourself) up with a bit of tip-kissing and kitten licks.

But, you were feeling bold.

You spit on his dick, a move that normally would have earned you plenty of verbal snark, but anything Keigo could’ve said to you was swallowed as you took his cock down to the back of your throat.

You sucked around it, massaging the vein on the bottom with the flat of your tongue. Drool began to pool at the side of your lips as you let the head bump your throat, gag reflex be damned.

All the while, Keigo had stopped moving above you. The fabric of his trouser balled up in his ringed-fingers as he gazed half-lidded down at you. 

You smiled around his dick, looking up at him innocently as you began to slowly bob your head. His wings fluttered, twitches and air stirring around you. 

Keigo stifled a laugh, a hand tangling in your hair, “All that talk earlier and now you’re treating me to a blowjob without even me having to tell you to? Dove, you’re too much.”

You pulled off of him to reply, “I can only try.”

Before he could reply, you spit on his dick again, and went back to slurping around him.

You held the base of his cock in your hands, twisting and spreading spittle. It almost felt like your actions were for show, but Keigo’s eyes were rolling back in his head all the same.

You smirked.

A drool pool from your mouth, puddling in your lap and soaking your skirt. Not like you weren’t already dripping from the sinful sounds Keigo stopped trying to hold.

“A-ah, that’s it, angel,” Keigo fucked into your mouth with his hold on your hair. “Just like that.”

Your hand rose to play with Keigo’s balls, teasing at the sack as he cried out a high moan above you. 

Considering the performance you were giving, it was unsurprising to feel him tensing above you. You’d been on your knees for him hundreds of times; you’d learned to see the little twitches and puffs of breath he’d give when he’d get close to coming. 

You pulled off his cock with a pop, detangling the hand from your hair in the motion. It was all fast enough that Keigo couldn’t have stopped you in his hazy, pleasure-filled state. 

Based on the look of rapid disbelief he was giving you, your trick had worked well. Knowing Keigo’s... tendencies made you hesitant to push him too much in the past, but for whatever reason, you were feeling stupidly bold. 

Consequences.

“Sorry, daddy,” You wiped at your mouth with the back of your hand. “Didn’t feel like swallowing today.”

Keigo’s disheveled appearance was more than gratifying. Knowing how easily you made him come undone by that point was one of the perks of your position.

His hair was more than ruffled, strands and tufts chaotically curled around his cheeks and ears. There was a bright blush on his face, spreading from his nose to the apples of his cheeks, down his deck. At some point, he’d popped the buttons at the top of his shirt. He was covered in a sheen of sweat, half-panting and based on the darkness in his brow and the far-too peachy smile on his face, Keigo was fucking pissed.

His wings stood on end.

You gulped from below him.

Maybe you pushed your luck too far.

Maybe. 

“You’re playing real cute today, aren’t you songbird?” Keigo didn’t move, but his feathers twitched above him, wings flaring out even farther. “Real fucking cute.”

You were fucked.

Good.

A few feathers flew from Keigo, one snagging at your wrist, wrapping around it, and pulling you up from the desk.

You wobbled as you stood, dragged across the room as Keigo leisurely followed behind you. When you tried to set your own pace, Keigo swatted your ass with a huff, “You never learn, huh? I thought I’d trained you better than this.”

You opened your mouth to spit some dickish retort, but you were cut off as Keigo’s shoved you onto one of the leather couches.

“Don’t.” Keigo’s tone was acidic as he stood over your, wings still flared out. “I told you I wasn’t in the mood for your cute bullshit, dove, and you still decided to test your luck, huh?”

You kneeled on the cushions, sucking down air, shaking with anticipation.

“You don’t feel like swallowing today? That’s fine, I can work with that,” Keigo shrugged easily from above you.

Keigo had an... active sexual imagination, and you could tell by the crook in his lips that he had something devilish planned as retribution.

A sharp slap came down on your cheek, Keigo catching the opposite jaw and keeping you from recoiling too far. You blinked as the pain spread around your skull like licking flames against a frostbitten body. 

You wanted more.

A little grin stretched against your mouth as Keigo rubbed at your cheeks with his thumbs, “Aw, you always get so sweet like this, dove. You can be a good girl if you try, can’t you?” 

His actions carried candor and his words absolute torment. 

Despite how Keigo was trying to goad you into submission, you had a bit of spark left in you. 

Plainly, you spit on him.

The glob of saliva landed on Keigo’s cheek, under his eye.

He blinked at you. 

You continued to smile.

His own expression grew strained.

“Oh, songbird,” Keigo damn near lamented, wiping away the kind gift you’d given him. His voice was smooth without any bit of waver, all of the sexually-charged anger rolling just beneath the veneer. “You’re just being pain slut today, aren’t you?”

You were, absolutely. You could feel your arousal wetting your panties, the heat of the strike from your cheek beginning to boil something in your gut. 

“You just need a bit of special attention today, right? That’s all.” Keigo tsked, fully removing the tie from around his neck. “You just need a little reminder.”

“Reminder of what?” You asked, tilting your head quizzically. 

Keigo flipped you, feathers pushing and bracing you as needed while nimble hands tore off your clothes without reverie.

“Plenty of things, especially with this attitude you’ve got today,” Keigo’s tie looped around your wrists, binding them together at the center of your back. 

“You definitely need a reminder of who’s the boss around here,” Keigo shoved you forward, stomach flush with the back of the couch.

You reeled from the pace of it all, shifting your knees for any bit of stimulation you could get. Keigo’s feathers were slicing and pulling your clothes from your body faster than you could keep track of. It was overwhelming, making your mind swim in the best possible way. You throbbed. 

“Maybe a reminder about who fucking provides for you,” Keigo’s own clothes were shaken off, dropped to the floor and forgotten.

It was true. Keigo always made sure than you were taken care of, in more ways than one. Despite how fast-paced and laid back he could seem, he was always on top of making sure you had more than enough material and immaterial pleasure whether than be in the form of food, fucking, or otherwise.

You yelped as a smack fell across your ass. A feather caught the elastic of your panties, snapping a moment later, leaving you fully bare before him. 

Keigo’s worn hand came to press at your throat and jaw, tilting your head back as he climbed behind you, “Maybe, you need a reminder about who keeps you safe.”

This phrase was softer than the others, a sweet kiss pressing to your cheek and his voice a bit more gentle. It was jarring at the skin still stung from his earlier strike, but you cherished the heat besides. 

Once again, true. The folks in and outside of the League were greedy. There were plenty of unwanted souls that stole glances at Hawks’s prized songbird. There were starved eyes that tore into you whether you were dolled up for Keigo or not. There had been some... close calls, one could say, but Keigo always was there, in the end, unafraid to get his hands dirty. 

“You know what the most important reminder is, dove?” Keigo rolled his hips against you, cock wedging between your thighs.

“N-no,” You stuttered, brain turning gooey as Keigo’s arms snaked around your waist, sharpened nails leaving indents in your hips.

He nosed at your neck, leaving a few love bites in his wake.“‘N-no’, what?” 

“I don’t know,” You leaned back into Keigo’s chest, rubbing your thighs around his cock. 

 “Oh, songbird, you sweet thing,” He chuckled, all teasing and self-indulgent. “I’m the one who makes you feel good.” 

He was so right, wasn’t he?

With the way he’d learned your body over the last few months, he’d had some undeniable pursuit to make you feel the best. 

Keigo was inquisitive by nature. He had kept you on your back for hours while he finger-fucked you, watching every twitch and roll of your hips to figure out just the right ways to break you. He’d kissed and sucked and slapped every inch of you, sussing out the perfect ways to make you writhe and cry for him. 

Sure, you were an absolute terror to him sometimes. Not to mention that Keigo jumping you covered in the blood of that day's targets was as macabre and horrifying as it sounded. 

But, fuck, if he didn’t know how to bring you to ecstasy that fucking ruined you in the best way. 

Keigo got off on watching you shatter for him. It was the reason he’d torn you from that cheap, bloodied apartment in the first place. A kind, naive little morsel that he could play with as he wanted. You didn’t complain. Fuck, you reveled in his attention. You gave it back to him, like the fucked up, semi-divine being could be any more debauched than he already was.

Corruption spreads, but you’d never complain. If being plucked from struggling for pennies to being fucked stupid by a man who could kill you at a moments notice, a man who would kill for you, somehow poisoned you?

You’d die with a bitter taste on your tongue and a smile on your face.

 Keigo rubbed at your clit, nipping at your neck, and rolled his hips greedily. His cock was covered in a mix of your slick and his own preek, easily sliding between plushness of your thighs.

“You love pushing me, acting all tough,” Keigo chastised, clicking his tongue. “I mean it when I say it's cute.”

You don’t have any more quick retorts in you, not when his fingers are down your throat, gagging you as spittle dribbles down your chin onto the leather below. It was sure to leave a mark.

“Behind all that bark and snark, you’re just a good girl, aren’t you?” Keigo punctuated his words with a bite and nip to your neck. “Just needed a reminder, right, dove?”

You whimpered against his fingers at the praise, grinding against Keigo’s touch needily. 

His fingers pushed pinched your tongue, breath curling over the shell of your ear, “What are you?”

You mumbled against his fingers, “A g-good g-girl.”

It was humiliating in the best way. Keigo’s light laugh at your attempt. The way he nuzzled his nose into the sweat at the crook of your shoulder was just aloe on the burn.

“I misspoke, if you can believe that,” Keigo’s cock pulled out from your thighs. “Songbird, you know what I meant to call you?”

You squirmed at the loss, but he was quick to hush you. His fingers left your mouth with a thick trail of spit. 

“You’re my good girl.” 

You melted in his arms.

Falling back against Keigo’s chest, you craned your neck to lock your lips to his. 

Maybe that was it, why all the filth didn’t bother you. Because you had worth. Maybe it was insecurity, or maybe it was self-aware in the face of your lived experience. Before being taken, the life you’d lived made you just a rusty cog in a dying machine. You wouldn’t have amounted to anything, probably. 

But with the League?

You were the prized, beloved consort of an angry god. 

Keigo owned you, body, mind and soul, and you let him. That’s not even to mention how you had him wrapped around your finger. He adored you, under all of it.

Fighting with him was for sport, not blood.

Keigo licked past your lips, pressing his cock to your cunt teasingly. You whined against him, wriggling in his arms.

“What does my good girl want?” Keigo loved making you beg for him, claw for any bit of stimulation. He liked it even better when you were already soft for him.

Stray tears pricked at your eyes, “Y-your cock.”

He pinched the meat of your thigh, shaking his head, “Not good enough. Speak properly, dove. Clear and correctly.”

You swallowed, searching for the words in your own haze.

Your words were willed to be solid.

“I want your cock, daddy.” 

It was just enough.

Keigo pushed forward, the head of his cock already stretching your cunt. Consider the girth of it, the lack of preparation stung and burned more than you would’ve liked, as good as it felt to finally be filled.

Keigo cooed at your soft tears, keeping your face to his with a firm hand on your jaw. He shushed you, far too sweetly while licking the salt from your cheeks, “Relax, angel. Big breaths.”

You nodded, sputtering as he speared into you. Keigo’s free hand went back to toying with your clit, encouraging the tension to drain from your body.

As he bottomed out, you shuddered, falling back into his chest. Keigo’s wings fluttered, twitching in wait. Hot breath fanned over your face, Keigo groaning and locking his jaw. 

The stimulation was overwhelming. You had expected Keigo to be meaner, considering how mouthy you’d been. 

Yet, it made sense. Keigo had figured out one of the better ways to make you break was softness. 

(Truthfully, it made him crack in the same way, but he’d never tell.)

“Feel that?” He asked, just barely rolling his hips. 

Keigo released your jaw in favor of wrapping a hand around the front of your throat, tugging you as close he could manage.

“Uh-huh,” You panted. 

You could, the kiss of his cock head against your cervix was almost uncomfortable. The delicious pressure and sensitivity already had you reeling in his arms, unsteady and wanting.

“I fill you up so good, don’t I?” Keigo praised his own ego, his cock, but he wasn’t wrong. The curve of his cock rubbed against all the right spots. He stretched you just right, the burn ebbing away into a need for more, more—

“Please, Keigo—” You gasped. Your legs shook as Keigo slammed into you, shoving you forward and into the wall.

His pace was brutal. Hands and feathers kept your back in a harsh arch as he rearranged your insides to his liking. He was kind enough to keep stroking at your clit, bruising your hips and babbling filthy nothings. 

“I’m the one who makes you feel this good, only me, right, dove?” Keigo growled into your ear with a particularly hard thrust.

You nodded against the wall, aware of the drool slipping down your chin as your mouth lolled open. Your insides were hot like white flames, searing any ability to use coherent speech. 

Keigo snickered at your state. Slowing, he gripped your ass cheeks. You yelped, inside jumping as he pried them apart. You flinched, hole twitching as he spat down, the liquid cool against the flushed skin.

It was little moves like that, Keigo just subtly making your shudder and feel dirty that got you the most fucked up and fucked out.

You pressed back on his cock, panting against the wall and keening. You would’ve spoke, if you could, but anything that you had the ability to say would’ve been torn apart by Keigo’s sharpened, silver tongue. 

“My filthy little dove, huh?” Keigo sneered, watching you try to bounce on his cock the best you could. “Such a glutton when you get broken down like this, needy whore.”

The pleasure of Keigo’s cock tearing up your insides was all you could focus on through the fog of your mind, desperate and wanting and greedy.

“Y-your,” You corrected, the words bubbling from your lips, disjointed and messy. “Yours.”

Keigo may have been avian, but he purred like a damn cat at your admission. He held you like a possession, cock throbbing as he fucked you just right. 

“God, you’re sweet, angel,” He nipped at your jaw before wrapping his hand around your throat. “Even all fucked up, you know who you belong to so well, don’t you?”

You nodded, rolling your hips back. 

Keigo must’ve taken pity on you, squeezing at the sides of your neck. Cruel as he could be, he must’ve noticed the way your thighs and knees trembled against the leather. Keigo knew the cloud in your eyes well— how to get you hazy and how to fuck you perfectly through the fog.

He fucked back into your dripping cunt, pace harder and faster than before. You were helpless to do anything other than fall forward into the wall, cheek squished against the scarlet. 

“Who’s brat are you?” Keigo squeezed a bit harder at your neck as you swallowed against his palm.

“Y-yours—!” You squeaked out, mind going numb from the stimulation and pressure.

A wicked sneer curled against your ear as Keigo’s movements grew sloppier. His tongue lolled over your shoulder, messy kisses and slobbery bites and marks left in his wake. He was close, but you weren’t far off easier.

“Little bird,” It was sweeter, closer and hotter. “Can you come for me? Come all over my cock?”

You nodded.

“Not good enough.” Keigo bit down, nearly breaking the fragile skin of your neck. “You know I like words, angel.”

You gave him words, plenty of them. 

Nearly incoherent pleads and cries poured from your bruised lips as Keigo pounded into you. Each blabbering wail was met with Keigo groans and grunts, condescending little phrases spitting over you without release.

Your lack of leverage and use of your arms made you thumping against the couch and wall, vision darkening on the edges as the pressure in your gut and the hold on your throat remained. 

You were breaking in his arms, tears rolling down your cheeks as you held yourself from cresting. The exertion of it all was taking its toll, legs jellied and chest beading with sweat. 

Keigo sensed it, shifting his hips to hit the spongy spot in your cunt, “Come, dove.”

You let go.

A sob shattered in your throat as your climax crashed through you. Keigo released your throat, holding you by your bound arms as he bottomed out. His own harsh cry panged against yours as he stuffed you full. 

Surprisingly gently, he rocked his hips against your own, letting the ambient throb of your cunt milk him dry.

You came down, rolling and spinning as you sucked down air a bit too fast. Keigo panted behind you, though the sound seemed dull.

The pressure from your wrists released, soft thumbs rubbing at where the fabric had bitten into your forearms, “Hey, angel, you with me?”

You could only nod weakly, exhaustion and aches creeping in. 

Keigo repositioned the two of you, setting himself against the arm of the couch, wings up free to drape and splay over the floor. He dragged you with him, pulling you to lay on his chest. The stickiness of his spunk, your slick, and general sweatiness might’ve been uncomfortable, but you weren’t quite lucid enough to care.

“How are you feeling? Still feeling a little mouthy?” Keigo teased, already knowing your answer. 

You muffled a groan against his chest, shaking your head against the sweat of his chest. 

“Awww,” Keigo chuckled, fingers brushing over your cheeks, “Is my dove a little fucked out?”

“Keeeigo, b-be nice.”

Your voice broke, parched.

Keigo snorted, pressing a kiss to the side of your forehead, “I guess I can manage that. Just for you, though. Can’t let the others see me get all soft.”

You wouldn’t; seeing Keigo warm and gooey, both of you mutually fucked-out, was a pleasure only you got to indulge in. And you loved every moment of it. 

++++++++++++

taglist: @sinclairsamess (msg me if you’d like to be on it!)

ko-fi

[kashimos-hajime]

I crawl into ur askbox. I leave u brat taming carillo w the prompts “bite your lip once more, i dare you” + “come on. i want the neighbours to hear you scream” What do u do

ALOS. Once more. I love u and congrats on 4k!!!!!!! 🥶😈❄️💖

i scream at the gods, “I AM HORNEEEEEE!!!@!@!@!” they do not answer. i write 1.2k of smut.

HI MAAM you are braVE FOR REQUESTING THIS TO ME OF ALL PEOPLE AND I KINDA wanted to continue so badly but um LKMASDKLNASD THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FREND, I LOVE YOU!!!

warning: NSFW LMAOOO (18+), choking, mentions of edging, overstim, marking, subtle sir kink, sub/dom elements, girl you just getting your brains FUCKED OUT 

some translations (correct me if im wrong please!!):

tengo una cita=i have a date mi alma=my soul corazón=heart hermosa=beautiful

“Bite your lip once more, I dare you.” + “Come on. I want the neighbours to hear you scream.” 

Your eyes roll back into your head as a hand wraps around your throat, a ragged, starved mouth claiming yours once more as hips jerk against your own, skin to skin, heat on heat. Everything is burning and you can’t even see as he tears himself away from you, pulling you away from the edge that you’re so wound up on. A coil tightens and you just want to be free. To just fall apart but no. No, you don’t deserve that today. 

Not when he’s been railing you, teasing you with his fingers, fucking you and eating you out, for the past two fucking hours and has no intention on stopping. 

“I had plans and I just thought you were tired.”

“Tired?” Carrillo squeezes your neck gently and leans down. “‘Tengo una cita’ was your excuse not to come home with me?” he growls into your ear “Try that again the next time you want to play coy, and see what happens.” He grabs hold of your hair, fists it tight and yanks it back, exposing your neck and your mouth opens in a gasp as he sucks a mark right underneath your ear, smirking. “Come for me, corazón. I want the neighbours to hear you scream.” 

He bites at your jaw, your neck, mark you until you’re shown as his for days before he noses his way back up to your panting mouth. Another sharp thrust sends a jolt of euphoria and your eyes flutter shut as he grabs your jaw. 

“It was true, sir,” you manage to snipe at him. “He was young, handsome, tall. He liked me, senōr…” He squeezes your face, a warning, and brushes a thumb over your swollen lip, eyes scanning your face. Your tongue teases the pad of this thumb as his hips still against yours and an impatient moan escapes your lips. Your hands trace the swell of his chest, the bulging biceps of his arms, and there is raw power thrumming underneath his skin, golden and hazy in the barely lit room. His thumb pushes into your mouth and you wrap around it diligently but he simply shakes his head, disgusted, ripping his hand away before you can coax him deeper with your tongue.

“Using men to make me jealous is below you. We both know you only want one thing.” His other hand on your hip angles and he sinks himself to the hilt once again, your over-sensitized walls tight around him and he snarls against your cheek, moving his hand back to your throat as he thrusts into you. Eyes slipping shut, your mouth falls open shamelessly.

“Horacio.” His name slips from your lips, your chest heaving and his dark gaze snaps to yours, filled with lust and one of your hands cradles his face as his pace increases until wave after wave of bliss begins to overwhelm you once again. Thighs clenching, you feel them begin to slip against the sweat-slick skin of his waist but he reaches down with the hand on your hip, keeping you steady. Your muscles are melted and you thrash your head to the side, biting your lip and trying to stifle the groan begging to rip free but an index finger gently nudging your jaw warns you. Clutching onto the bed sheets, you try to remember how to breathe.

“Bite your lip once more, I dare you,” he whispers huskily, open mouth panting against your jaw. Your hip jolts with his next thrust and he hits the spot that has you keening, clenching so hard you think you might scream as he lets out a harsh, gritted groan against your jaw. “Shit. Fuck, are you close already? Again? You feel—so tight.“

“I am, mi amor. I’m close. I’m so close,“ you breathe, nonsense ramblings spilling out of your chest. “Please, please, I’m so close. Don’t stop—no! No, please don’t stop.” Your fingers fly to his arms, sink into his skin and your stomach clenches. Dragging himself through your slick, Carrillo grunts and hips snap against yours again, jackhammering until you reach that precipice once more and he knows you so well that he can tell when you can take one more deadly push, when you can’t. You haven’t cum in what you feel like has been days as he lowers your leg back to the mattress, reaches down with his free hand to press a thumb agains your clit and your vision nearly blacks out as your arch up against him, head digging into the mattress, his name torn out of your throat in a wail.

But you don’t cum.

No, he knows your body more intimately than you do. He knows all he has to do is just command you to, and you will.

But he doesn’t.

His unforgiving pace slows and you let out a furious groan of frustration, turning your head to look at him, wanting to sob, and you catch his grin as he soothes your ravaged lip with a finger, a gentle teasing touch.

“Ah, now I am your lover?” he murmurs severely, their noses just barely brushing, raising his eyes to regard your face with pupils blown wide enough to swallow his irises. “What happened to having a date tonight, hermosa? Someone stronger, taller, more handsome. Younger.” You squeeze your thighs weakly, muscles gummy, scowling at him in retaliation as you try to get yourself to the finish line but then his hand leaves your clit, he pushes with one huge hand down on your navel and keeps you still with the sheer force of his command alone. 

The waves recede—your stomach stops cramping, and you can start catching your breath again long enough for the disappointment to settle in.

And when he doesn’t budge, merely looms over you, you know you’re fucked. He lifts the hand from your abdomen, settles it by your head, holds himself up. His bicep glistens and you swallow at the sheer force in that arm alone. 

Your hands find his face and you cradle him in your palms, just… looking at him. Soaking him in.

Jesus, he’s so handsome. The air smells of sex, his cologne, your perfume, their sweat and their love, and in the light that’s made edges go blurry, you’ve never seen anyone more beautiful.

“You should know by now I want no other man besides the Colonel of the Search Bloc.” Your thumbs brush over his cheeks and he lifts his hand from your throat to hold onto your wrist. He kisses your pulsepoint, eyes sliding shut. “No other man I’ve met can fuck me half as well.”

His grip on your wrist tightens. 

Your free hand goes to his neck to pull him down just as you raise your head, and their lips barely brush as you whisper, “Now, fuck me, Colonel Carrillo. Or I’ll find someone who will.”

He slams your wrist to the bed. A raw, dark desire lingers in his eyes as he kisses you gently, an incinerating heat hiding behind the last piece of tenderness you will get for the night.

The neighbours hear more than your screams well into the morning. 

Carrillo, you believe, has never slept better.

.

Your two favourite DEA agents visit Medellín that next afternoon while you’re visiting the office, dropping off coffee for Carrillo.

“Late night?” Peña laughs when your buttoned-to-the-collar shirt slips to reveal a peek of a completely bruised collarbone and neck, marked every inch. 

Murphy’s more concerned by the fact that you can’t walk straight without your face screwing up.

Carrillo hides a smirk behind his newly delivered coffee.

You wonder if they’ll ever connect the days the Colonel’s in a good mood to the days you look like someone dragged you to aphrodisiac hell and back.

Probably won’t, but they’ve surprised you before.

join my 4k celebration!

[luminousbravery]

may i request the striders with someone who's v physically affectionate? like they are soft and love giving hugs, holding hands, etc(but they wont if u dont want to), nd just love giving nicknames, but at the same time they have no regard for themself? they always place everyone else b4 them, nd theyre really into drawing nd tends to space out alot,,,,ahh im sorry if it's a bit specific, i kind of self-projected here im so sorry,,,thank you for your time! nd ignore me if u dont wanna do it. ty!

That's okay hon! I get this request, don't worry. And I love writing for Striders!!!Coming right up! I assumed you meant Dave and Dirk, but if you want Hal + Davesprite added or something, feel free to drop another request about them. Now, onward,

STRIDERS WITH AN AFFECTIONATE S/O!

DAVE:

💿 You are in for a treat. He fucking LOVES affection. He's kind of touch-starved after all these years.

💿 He's down to cuddle at about any time of day, really. He just craves touch and being able to know someone cares about him.

💿 And the nicknames? That's one big bonus. Trust me, he loves those, too. He'll have one or two for you in return.

💿 As for putting others before yourself, he'll be somewhat worried about that.

💿 He doesn't want you to overwork yourself just for someone else's pleasure. It isn't too fair in his eyes, and you won't be able to convince him otherwise.

💿 If he sees you drawing, he'll want to cuddle you and mumble rap something to keep you focused or soothe you. (But let's be real, he also just wants to hold you.)

💿 As for spacing out, he won't mind it unless you're doing something that may hurt you if you don't pay attention. As for any other time, he seems relaxed with it.

DIRK:

❤ Honestly, it's just about the same thing as Dave. He's lived stranded in the middle of nowhere for the first 13 years of his life: he's touch-starved to the max.

❤ Only difference is the thought of hugs semi-startles him. He doesn't quite know how to respond to them.

❤ Same goes for nicknames-- he just starts to overthink everything he could do to screw up. Though he tries to play it off like it's nothing. Eventually, he warms up to them.

❤ He can't much complain about you putting others before yourself-- he tends to do the same thing. He gets it.

❤ It's something you two should both start to work on together, really. You can probably tell how exhausted he is from catering and caring about everything.

❤ He's like Dave- when you draw, he'll probably end up using it as an excuse to hold you. When he gets used to hugs, of course.

❤ The spacing out worries him the first time or so, but he also tends to space out while focusing on Derse business. He doesn't quite know how to handle it, so he'll usually just call your name to try and have you back in reality.

[cicadahaze]

Here’s my entry to the @pnatsecretsanta for 2020! @quarktrinity, I hope you enjoy! It’ll be crossposted to ao3, link will be in a reblog. Thank you for your patience!

Isabel: hey so

Isabel: when are u going to get here

Max: wat?

Max: its xmas ev

Isabel: you really need to get a new phone

Isabel: and remember? youre supposed to come to my place tonight, wait it out

Isabel: max?

Isabel: if you were spacing out again im going to kill you

Isabel: you WERE doing the face again now that i think about it

Max: u guys ned 2 mak imprtnt info cler. Y i spcd

Isabel: you need to listen! this time mr spender remembered to tell u and everything. youre not allowed to be mad at us this time

Isabel: in short, get ur butt over here before midnight. sneak out if u need to, thats what isaac does

Isabel: in long, if u dont santas gonna kill u

----

“Let me get this straight.” 11:30 P.M. December 24th, 20XX. Max sat in Ed’s room on a chair hastily drawn up, with a jacket pulled hastily over his pajamas and hat still jammed on his head, massaging his temples. “Santa’s real, he’s a spirit, and he hates all spectrals and is coming to kill us?”

“That’s a bit of an oversimplification, but yeah,” Isaac said, and Max shot him a glare. He could hear that smugness. “So like, there’s a lot of spirits that kinda grow from ideas humans have, right? I don’t know what’s up with Scrapdragon, but like, Muse came from the ideas around ancient Greek muses, like his name. They can be really off base but still have the same ideas- like Lucifer, Mr. Spender’s spirit, is just some lightbulb guy, but Lucifer does mean light and stuff, so they can just be along those lines. But like, a LOT of kids believe in Santa and think about him a lot, so there’ve been a few spirits that manifested around the idea of a guy who can get anywhere to deliver presents to good kids and punishments to bad ones, especially with stories like Krampus too.”

“But most spirits can’t interact with humans, so this guy mostly goes around to other spirits and ghosts and stuff,” Isabel said, distracted by her attempts to spin her umbrella like a top. “So he likes spirits a lot. And we kick a lot of spirit butt,” she punctuated this with a particular spirited spin of the umbrella, “so he hates us and comes to try to kill us every year. And because he can teleport, he can get inside the barrier. So gramps makes us all stay with him until sunrise every year so that all the adults can fight off santa and his reindeer so we don’t get put in a sack and teleported somewhere.”

Max groans and tries to fall backwards in his chair, but the chair doesn’t budge. “Your paint really isn’t good for drama,” Max informed Ed.

“Don’t be so dramatic then,” Ed snickered. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Says you, You just stay at home all night. I have to sneak out! My dad’ll kill me if he finds out!”

“I just put a pillow in my blankets and it’s fine,” Isaac says with a shrug. “If your dad looks harder than that, we probably have a tool lying around that can wipe memories or something.”

“I don’t want to mind wipe my dad,” Max grumbled, but resigned himself to slumping grumpily in his chair to watch Ed play some punching game or whatever. Bad enough that his own baseball bat might want to eat him, and he was trapped in this town with no way out- now Christmas hated him too. 

Isaac caught his eye and smiled sympathetically. “You get used to it,” he whispered.

“I thought I was used to it a month ago.”

Max jumped as a knock on the door sounded, glaring at Isabel’s laughter. The door opened without waiting for a response. Mr. Spender poked his head in through the door with a goofy grin. “Alright, kids! You all ready for this year’s Christmas night?”

Ed didn’t even look away from his video game, waving lazily. “We could use some snacks. That’d be nice.”

“Yeah, where are the snacks, old man? You want us to starve?” Isabel waved her umbrella at him like a grumpy old woman might a cane.

“You’re well fed enough already. I made sure of that.” It spoke wonders to how used to this existence Max had become that Mr. Spender knocking politely had scared him, but Isabel’s grandpa floating through the wall didn’t. The man’s bulk and imperious gaze still caused him some anxiety, though, and he had to consciously remind himself that he’s a punk, he’s cool, and he doesn’t respect anyone’s authority, even a scary ghost’s. Yeah, totally. 

The atmosphere of the room quickly shifted, and Isabel’s eyes dropped. “Yeah, I was just joking. Sorry, Grandpa.”

“Joke or not, this night is too much effort to make light of. My students and I are putting ourselves at risk for you,” Mr. Guerra said, looming over the room, “so only vocalize a need if you need it.”

Isabel glowered at the carpet. “Alright, Grandpa…”

“So. I will ask again. Are you all prepared? Midnight strikes soon.”

“We are, sir,” Isaac said. Max fought not to pull a face at Isaac’s please pay attention to me, authority figure tone, but for once it was helpful, so whatever. He could let it slide. 

Mr. Guerra eyed Isaac. “...good. We’ll get you once the sun begins to rise.” And with that, he turned away and slid down through the floor. Max could already hear him barking at the pupils below.

Mr. Spender grimaced. “Well… good! Everything’s all set then.”

Isabel grumbled, picking at the carpet.

“...trust me,” Mr. Spender said, forcing audibly fake cheer into his voice, “This isn’t a hassle at all. You guys getting stuffed into a sack- now, that would be quite the kerfuffle!”

They all stared as Mr. Spender slowly deflated. “...sure,” Max said. “Uh, we’ll be good, stay up here, it’s fine.”

“Great.” Mr. Spender nodded, stared awkwardly for a moment, and stepped out the door. “Well, Merry Christmas, children!” He shut the door behind him. Max listened with the others as his footsteps hurried down the hall to the stairwell.

Silence reigned for a few minutes, a distinctly uncomfortable experience for Max. It was almost impossible not to ramble, and he was reaching his breaking point and about to open the floodgates of inane and overly verbose chatter when Ed, thankfully, took point.

“That sucked,” he said simply, and Isabel groaned and fell back.

“I hate when he does that!” Isabel laid her umbrella by her side and waved her hands in the air exasperatedly. “It’s like he has no in between and I’m always either The Best And He’s So Disappointed In Me For Not Being Perfect or A Helpless Kid He Needs To Do Everything For! He always gets like this tonight!”

Ed paused his game, and reached around to pat her on the knee. “I mean, we could prove him wrong. We beat up spirits all the time, how hard could this be?”

“Okay, hold up, hand on,” Max said. “No? I- this is a terrible idea, you just got finished telling me about how if I wasn’t here I’d be killed by Santa, and now you want to go out there and fight Santa?”

“Well, not Santa,” Ed said. “Duh. He mostly just sends his reindeer to do everything and hangs out on rooftops.”

“And no offence Max, but uh…” Isaac scratched the back of his head.

“You’d totally get killed if you were on your own.” Isabel flipped herself upright. “All you got is that dinky bat, and magnet powers. You can’t even do a spec shot, dude, you’d get thrown in a sack in no time. We’d be fine.”

Max crossed his arms. “Alright, screw you too.”

“But other than that… that sounds like it could be pretty fun.” Isabel grinned. “Show the old man and his big dumb deer who’s boss. Maybe then he’ll stop coming to Mayview every year.”

“That would be pretty nice actually.” Isaac was clearly thinking hard- he had his broody face on. “I would like to stop having to sneak out every year. Sooner or later my parents will notice.”

Max shuddered. “Actually, yeah, Isaac has a point. I don’t want to die to Rudolph or anything, but if we keep having to do this, I’ll die to my dad, which is way worse honestly.”

“Your dad’s a teddy bear,” Isabel said, and rolled her eyes. “Stop complaining.”

“You haven’t seen him when I fail a test!”

“So are we going or what?” Isabel was already pulling her jacket back on, tucking her umbrella firmly under her arm. Ed bounced on the balls of his feet with a grin, already eyeing up the window and painting himself a rope. 

Max looked at Isaac, who shrugged and got to his feet. Max sighed, and stood up, regretfully leaving his scooter on the floor. “Yeah, alright. We’re going.”

Well, Max was regretting this. He was regretting this so much. He tromped through the snowy woods, eternally grateful for his boots. “Why in the world do we have to fight the spirits of Christmas in the woods? Why can’t we do it in town, or like, on the road at least? The roads we salted. The roads wouldn’t be as cold.”

“Cuz we’d get caught, dummy,” Isabel snorted. Or maybe it was a sniffle. “Either someone from the dojo would hear us and yell at us and get in the way before we can prove anything, or someone in town would yell at us and call the cops or something.”

“Maybe having people nearby to help isn’t a bad thing? You can’t just say that after saying that I’m the most likely person to die!”

“You came out here anyway,” Isaac pointed out, and looked all too unaffected by Max’s glare.

“I hate you. I hate you with everything in my being you- you chump elf.”

Isabel laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this place looks pretty good, huh?” She stopped, looking around the snowy clearing they’d come into and turning in place. She nodded, satisfied. “There’s room to fight here, and we could come up with some pretty solid traps. Isaac wouldn’t have to worry too much about blasting a bunch of trees.”

“Looks pretty good!” Ed pulled off a mitten with his teeth and dug his paint brush out of his pocket. “What’re you thinkin, Izzy? Tripwire? Net?”

“Let’s go net,” Isaac said. “They can fly.”

“Plus, last time you tripped Isaac, remember?” Isabel elbowed Ed in the side. “Max and I are pretty fast, but Isaac needs some help.”

“Please. I can jump higher than your house is tall.”

“But you still fell just flat on your face,” she cooed. Isaac grumbled, cursing her just loud enough for Isabel to overhear, but she just batted her eyes and paid him no mind. “Okay, so,” she said, looking up at the sky through the hole in the canopy, “we probably only have a few more minutes before one of the reindeer finds us-”

And that’s when a dark shape, faster than cheetah and twice as forceful, barrelled into Max.  And off he went, hanging by the hood of his jacket on a wicked sharp antler prong, into the sky and away to the sound of jingling bells.

----

Things were quiet this year, Richard reflected. It was honestly a relief- maybe the spirit had finally given up. Probably too much to hope for, but, Christmas miracles and all. In any case, there seemed to be plenty of time to get the kids some mugs of hot cocoa and cookies to wait out the night with.

“Need any help balancing those?” Day asked, and Richard felt his mood become momentarily strained.

“Actually, that would be nice, if you think you could.” The tray of mugs and cookies he was balancing was quite the challenge, after all. Day reached up and somehow grabbed the plates of cookies perfectly- Spender could swear he saw her eyes flash for a moment, smart woman- and left him to balance the four mugs. A much easier task now.

“I really thought things would be more eventful, with how much Francisco was fussing over it, but everything’s pretty quiet, isn’t it?” Day smiled and followed Richard’s footsteps to the stairs.

“Well, usually there’s more cause for it, but the spirits seem to be laying low this year. Not an unwelcome reprieve in the slightest, but I do worry about Max… if this isn’t the new status quo, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

“He’s a- well, he seems like a really smart kid,” Day reassured him. “I think he’ll make sure to be careful next year too!”

“I hope so. He does seem resourceful, but… he can be reckless.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” she said, before stopping with a small frown on her face. “They’re being pretty quiet…”

Spender listened for a moment himself. “Hm, they are… mayhaps they went to bed early?”

“That doesn’t sound like them.”

“No,” he said, dread creeping into his heart. “It doesn’t.”

He set the tray of cookies on the floor. He approached Ed’s room. He knocked.

He opened the door.

Richard’s lips thinned into a grim line as he surveyed the dark room. “They’re gone.”

------

Max screamed for his life as he was lifted faster than he could process into the sky. It was a clear, starry night, and they all looked like streaks as his captor circled through the sky, closer and closer to the top of the dome before colliding headfirst into it. Max didn’t have any more air in his lungs to scream as he was jostled loose and began to fall down, down- only to be caught again, this time like a sack of potatoes on the spirit’s back. He was overwhelmed by the sound of silver bells as he caught his breath, eyes screwed tightly shut.

Eventually, his lungs rallied to his call, and he was able to take in an unpleasant few gulps of animal-scented air. Max cracked his eyes open a peek- and immediately shut them again. Too high. He was way, way too high up. His heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, and the wind burned his face and the tips of his ears.

Hold on.

“My hat,” he wheezed reaching one hand up to grope the top of his head. “My hat’s gone!”

“Soon that will be of no matter.”

Max screamed- even he was getting fed up with his own screams at this point, but instinct didn’t seem to be on the same page.

“Quiet,” the rumbling voice said, and the spirit turned to look at Max. “Your sounds irritate me.”

The spirit that held Max on its back was by far the biggest deer of any Max had ever seen. It was shaggy and majestic, even as its fur was electric yellow, and its huge rack of knife-like antlers shivered as if they were made of candle flame. Its many eyes blinked, and it beared serrated teeth- a stark contrast to the many silver bells that seemed a part of its pelt. Max looked away, avoiding its cruel gaze, to see three pairs of legs, hooves thundering over empty air. And below him, seven more enormous shapes were blazing their way towards the distant forest clearing, led by an eerie red light. “Oh no, oooooh no, no no no no no no…”

“But yes, child. At last you have been retrieved, and soon your friends will be as well. Then, you can all face your punishment.” The spirit laughed cruelly. “I am Dasher, and I was simply the herald.”

“So you’re just, you’re just Dasher? Like from the poem? One of those things down there is…” Jeez, this was surreal. “...Donner? And, Vixen?”

“Many tremble in fear before those names. It would do you right to show some respect.”

“What? No, nobody does! You guys are like, goofy little stop motion dolls, man, how’d you guys end up looking like this?”

“Our powers are untold by your human poems-”

“Aren’t you guys based on the poems?!”

Dasher snorted and tossed his head in anger. “That is an egregious oversimplification-”

“I thought your name was Dasher, not Dictionary.”

The spirit cried out in frustration, and Max felt something in him settle a bit better. Poking things with words, he could do that. Just don’t look down. “So, uh,” he began, shifting a bit so it was less like he was thrown over Dasher and more like he was riding him, “why am I not in a sack yet?”

“Our pilot is attending to his annual business in Mayview,” Dasher growled. “It is we who have the ability to fight and fly- so it is we who collect naughty children. Once your compatriots have been obtained, then we may return to our stations.”

“Wow,” Max drawled. “I can’t believe Santa needs his reindeer to deal with three preteens.”

“You do have a teenager within your ranks. That does provide some extra challenge.”

“Whoa, wait, really?”

“Yes. He cannot fully be counted as a child by our pilot any longer- he has aged enough to become a teenager. It is not he that we seek.”

“Wow, that’s weirdly arbitrary and nitpicky.” Max was so going to tease Isaac about this later. If he didn’t, well, get thrown into a sack and… baked into a pie? Eaten alive? Thrown into a dungeon? Whatever. Try to be positive.

“If you take issue, you may air your complaints to our pilot.”

“Taking it straight to the manager, alright.” Max stared at his hands, balled in bright yellow fur, and took a deep breath as he relaxed them. He wasn’t going to fall, he was certain Dasher wouldn’t allow him, channel a Karen- and he released the fur, balancing on the spirit’s back with only his legs. Before he could lose his nerve, he swung his backpack off his shoulder and grabbed his bat. Okay, weapon acquired. Just… what to do with it.

Dasher huffed. “Puny weapon. Even with the power of an enslaved spirit, you cannot defeat me. Especially not with a spirit as weak as that one.”

“Ugh, not you too,” Max grumbled. At least this thing wasn’t getting aggressive. “I’m kinda tired of being called the weak one, it’s getting old.”

“It would have been better, then, if you had kept your power to yourself, and not bothered the true denizens of this world, as the other child does.”

“Other child-? You know what, I don’t know what you’re talking about and I do not care. Now let me think.” Max re-gripped Dasher tightly, this time grabbing the reigns, and looked around. Man, of course Max got magnet powers in the place where there’s no tall buildings anywhere- it would be great if they could pass by a skyscraper or two for Max to attach himself to. But alas… then, his eyes caught a gleam, a dark silhouette against the colorful lights of Mayview. 

A transmission tower in the woods. And they were heading right for it. Max shrugged his backpack back on to his shoulder and gripped his bat as tight as he could.

“Thinking will get you nowhere, child.”

“Yeah, but it’ll keep me quiet,” Max mumbled.

“True,” Dasher said. And started to turn back towards the clearing.

“No!” Max yelped, holding his bat out desperately- he knew the tower was too distant still, but he put all his will into the bat, trying to extend its power as far as he can-

Dasher lurched beneath him with a confused cry, the bells jangled, and Max’s focus was broken with a shout. Immediately, Dasher steadied beneath him.

“Child, if you do that again I will throw you off into the ground-”

“What- I don’t even know what I did-” Max’s breath caught as he realized what happened. The bells. They were metal, and he had what was definitely a terrible idea. But it was his only idea.

Quickly, before Dasher could retaliate, Max activated his bat. Dasher howled with rage as all the bells in his body strained in the direction of the magnetic center, and Max laughed with panic. 

“RELEASE ME AT ONCE-”

“No,” Max said, filled with thrill and panic, and directed Dasher back towards the clearing. The spirit barrelled towards it at supernatural speeds, a furious scream echoing through the night as he crashed into the snow like a comet. Max tumbled off of the spirit’s back, and the bat’s angle changed wildly, forcing Dasher in mad circles.

The other seven deer spirits, crowded in the woods, were as thrown into chaos as Isabel, Ed, and Isaac were, but Ed recovered fastest. “Max!” He crowed, head popping out of the snow. “You’re alive!”

“Somehow!” Max laughed, voice squeaky with panic. “For now!” In the corner of his eye, he noticed another spirit- a large one that was on fucking fire, so must be either Comet or Blitzen- and quickly swung his bat around to point at it. Dasher was forced to charge full speed into the other spirit, which dissolved into a wisp with a cry of shock.

Isabel whooped. “I can’t believe it! Magnet powers are good for something!”

“Serves you right!” He felt about to shake apart, and still dizzy from the crash, but spinning Dasher around like a top was easy enough- and the other jingling spirits were drawn in too. It was a glorious explosion of color, sound, and christmas spirits as one by one they melted each other away into whisps. Finally, only Dasher stood in the snow, puffing furious, cloudy breaths into the air.

“You will pay,” Dasher hissed. “Naughty children. You will not escape your punishment, this I swear to you.”

“Whatever you say, bub,” Ed chirped, and raised his scythe above his head.

“Wait!”

Max and the others turned back to look just in time to watch an arrow streak through the night and imbed itself in Dasher’s forehead. “No, no,” he groaned, watching Isabel’s face light up with glee.

Agent Day and Mr. Spender ran into the clearing, both panting and exhausted. “Thank goodness we found you,” Agent Day breathed, hands on her knees. “We were so worried that you were taken…”

“But I saw Dasher fall from the sky!” Spender’s chest heaved, and he swayed with effort, but he somehow managed to stay upright. “I’m so glad you’re all alright, even Dasher alone is quite the challenge to combat…”

“Nah, we got all of them.” Isabel grinned and punched her palm. “Max was able to yank ‘em around by the bells with his bat, and he got em all to poof each other. It was really easy to hit ‘em when they were all clumped up, too.”

“You- you really beat them all? Where are their tools?!”

“Right here, Mr. Spender!” Isaac called, arms full of a few rocks and sticks. “They’re, uh, not much to look at, but…”

“Amazing! Wonderful job, all of you- these will be great for the club’s stores!”

“But you shouldn’t have snuck out. We were so worried about you, and you’re glad we found you! Your grandfather is worried sick!” Agent Day wrung her hands together, cane stuck in the snow.

“Yes, he’s… not happy,” Spender admitted. “But, surely he’ll be proud when he finds out what you’ve accomplished?”

“Probably not,” Isabel sighed, sticking her hands in her pockets.

“...probably not.” Spender came over to put a hand on her shoulder. “But, for what it’s worth, I am.” Isabel looked up at him, then threw her arms around him. Spender smiled softly and hugged her in return.

“This is great,” Max groaned. “But I’m being crushed by a flippin’ reindeer, so can I get some help?”

Oblivious to Max’s irritation, Dasher continued licking Max’s hair life the reindeer he resembled. “You’re not so bad, I suppose. Resourceful child.”

“It always happens to me.”

“The arrow will at least last the night,” Agent Day said thoughtfully. “It should be safe for you to go home, in that case- you too, I think, Isaac! Since all the others are gone, after all… Maybe Dasher can take you home!”

“Nooooo!”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Ms. Day,” Spender said. “You could perhaps take Isaac and Ed back to the dojo, and I can take Isaac back to his home…?”

“Yes sir!” Day smiled. “Merry Christmas, Max, Isaac,” she said. “I hope you get back undetected.”

“Thank you, Ms. Day,” Isaac said. “You too.”

“You guys suck,” Max grumbled.

----

It took a bit for Max to wrangle Dasher into taking him home, but under Day’s spell, the spirit was a fairly easygoing ride. As Max climbed back in through his window to his undisturbed bed, he heard the spirit settle on the roof to keep watch for the sunrise. And, taking comfort in not being discovered and in the knowledge that next year, when he’s a teen, he won’t have to worry about any of this, Max changed back into his pajamas, settled into bed, and slipped into a deep sleep.

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[jemej3m]

gaming au

headcannons because im lazy but i love this idea

- neil is the same sort of vibe as RTGame, who plays whatever the fuck he wants, screws everything up majorly every time, and loves to roast everyone and everything 

- andrew is callmecarson and his career is literally just fucking with people 

- they’re both mostly streaming on twitch: Neil has no face-cam, whilst andrew does and its just him being completely deadpan and apathetic 

- “person101 has subbed for 3 months!” andrew: looks deadpan into the camera, says “you’re wasting your money”

- kevin and riko used to be fOrtNitE bOiiiis WHERE WE DROPPIN but then kevin didn’t want to play fortnite anymore and riko kicked him out, so he moved in with andrew cuz andrew hates fortnite 

*this was getting too long yikes*

- nicky’s a sims player bless his soul, he loves sims 3 and wont let it go even though it breaks his computer

- dan and matt absolutely obliterate 1st-person shooter games together 

- renee loves story games: life’s strange, detroit: become human, etc 

- allison’s a survival games bitch, loves don’t starve together, hardcore minecraft, but also plays shitty barbie fashion games and nitpicks at the programming 

- i imagine seth as like an angry 12 year old on twitch, that everyone just laughs at for getting aggressive too easy

- aaron plays whatever, mostly riding the mediocre cash inflow for med school and gets popular because of his criticism of surgeon games, but he loves VR (andrew does too) and sometimes he streams instead of andrew until someone notices

- gamers always coordinate into little groups: this bunch have a discord chat together and often collaborate, except andrew, cuz he’s a *lone wolf* (get over urself andrew) 

so how do andrew and neil meet, u wonder? how does neil get initiated into this discord group? where does the nickname foxes come from? where’s wymack in all this? 

- so basically i imagine wymack as a game developer and he’s found this group of gamers who are actually funny and are slowly getting popular, so he reaches out and asks them if they want to try this game out, he’s just getting started with it, what are their opinions?  

- it obviously can’t be everything each of them every dreamed of, but Mission F0X is actually a lit fuckin game with aspects that everyone can enjoy:

- nicky loves making new characters 

- dan and matt fucking ace the shoot outs 

- renee loves the choose-your-destiny aspect, and how you can see the percentage of people who went different routes 

- allison just loves the adorable fox companion 

- seth is pumped for when it’s getting released so he can blow other people up 

- aaron doesn’t care but him and kevin end up finishing all the minigames in two weeks so wymack has to make more because kevin’s getting pissy 

- andrew zones out as soon as anyone mentions fox because he couldn’t care less 

- until 

- this “””””neil josten””””””” streamer plays Mission F0X upon its beta release, and tears into the game. like, brutally. he actually praises it too, but everyone’s distracted by his character, who he’s designed to have eyebrows on his chin and backwards ears and eyes on his forehead because wymack allowed that for some reason, and then he’s able to yeet the fox companion over a cliff but it bounces back, and all this ridiculous, crazy shit

- the foxes (as theyve dubbed themselves) think he’s high-key hilarious. they’re planning to reach out to him, but andrew doesn’t trust a streamer who doesn’t have a face cam, it’s fuckin 2019 bro, wtf

- so he goes onto Neil’s minecraft server, because he has this series, where he goes onto famous streamer’s servers and griefs shit until he gets kicked, because he’s andrew 

except this time, it’s not one of neil’s mods (robin or brian or jack or sheena), it’s neil himself. he’s streaming. they’re both live, looking at each other as a building behind andrew blows up 

- “thats not very nice” 

- “whaddaya gonne do, kick me?” (andrew is like an angsty emo 12 yr old i love him) 

- neil instead says “nah ill let you be a mod”

- everyone’s like ????? he’s griefing your shit, and you’re gonna make him a moderator?

- andrew is also thoroughly confused 

- neil’s popularity, meanwhile, is skyrocketing. everyone wants him to get together with the foxes and play Mission F0X. Wymack has gruffly acknowledged all of the glitches and quirks neil’s criticised and is working to change them. andrew’s a mod on his minecraft server, and sometimes they work together (out of stream) in complete silence (not even on a call, just sometimes private messaging on discord about details or coordinates) as they clean up some shit on neil’s crazy server. they also work super hard on a map room (like RTGame’s server’s crazy fuckin map room holy SHIT goals)

- then all of a sudden andrew announces that he and neil are doing a fuckin mission F0X letsplay together, when he’s openly hated on the foxes’ obsession with Mission F0X, and neil has refused to work with the foxes because he’s scared of his new-found popularity. 

- everyone, once more, is like ????????

- unbeknownst to literally everyone on the planet, they’ve met up. neil explained why he’s avoiding kevin, even if his father’s dead, and he’s technically safe. the moriyamas own his ass and he can’t out himself like that. andrew thinks he’s being ridiculous because he’s never signed a contract and there’s nothing legally binding him to play for riko and moriyama gaming. 

- i just have this scene in my head where andrew has killed neil’s fox companion, carved “u r hot” onto it and chucking it at Neil’s head (who, mind you, is neil’s interpretation of his appearance, but god-knows he’s watered down his hotness because he’s so oblivious and andrew hates him)

- neil just laughs and tells andrew to pick him up at 7. andrew uses half of his health to revive his stupid fox companion, just like neil knew he would.

- andrew’s the only one streaming this episode: they take it in turns. he’s blushing like mad.

- nicky’s yelling THATS GAY and aaron is shaking his head and kevin is still Fuming that neil has refused to work with him but will work (and hook up) with andrew 

- eventually wymack sponsors him to play the prerelease of the Full Game and neil meets up with the rest of the foxes absOLUTELY DEBAUCHED BECAUSE HE HITCHED A RIDE WITH ANDREW AND THEY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT

- and everyones like. yep. okay. this kid managed to wrangle the monster of online gaming, makes him blush on stream and now walks in with their hands entwined like they’ve been dating for years. Respect. 

aaaaaaaaand yea thats all for now gnight

[kinnsporsche]

SHOW eastenders SHIP ballum CHARACTER callum

EASTENDERS

Favorite character: 

callum highway baby

Least Favorite character: 

ian beale die already

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

ben and callum

jay and lola

ash and iqra

kush and martin

chantelle and whitney

Character I find most attractive:

you really expect me to pick just one when ben, callum, whitney, chantelle, mick, ash, iqra, all the panesar brothers, and jay all exist???? i refuse

Character I would marry:

marriages dont tend to work out on this show damn, but whitney im love her

Character I would be best friends with:

callum highway

A random thought:

i want keanu to shoot callum so we get some gorgeous ben x callum angst and an angsty i love you and i want lexi to draw him pictures whilst he’s in the hospital ee get on this thanks

An unpopular opinion:

i really enjoyed ben’s “you make me want to be better” line, i know a lot of people disliked it but with it being a direct parallel to how he was talking to phil about how paul made him better and want to be better i really loved it

My canon OTP:

ben and callum baby!!!!!

Non-canon OTP:

chantelle and whitney deserve to be together let them kiss

Most badass character:

callum highway no doubt about it boyyyyyyyyyy

Pairing I am not a fan of:

mick and linda

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

linda. i used to really like her but especially with how she reacted with johnny first came out i grew to hate her so quickly, and i really don’t think they’re handling her alcoholism sl well

Favourite friendship:

jay, lola, ben, callum, and lexi!!!! give me more of this family right the fuck now!!!!!

BALLUM

when or if I started shipping it.

i was so vehemently against shipping it at first because i didn’t want to get sucked back into the ee-verse, but seeing gifs of ben when he came back convinced me. he’s a character i’ve always wanted to see on screen, he’s unapologetically gay and always makes gay jokes about it like me and so many other queer people do and i finally got him and had to let myself get sucked back into it and then shipping ben and callum was almost like a natural progession from there. their dynamic is so chefs kiss and i love them sm 

my thoughts:

i have so many thoughts about them all the time lauren can attest to that we literally send each other paragraphs and paragraphs about them. the main thing about them that i love so much is their eye contact. it’s something thats so important and vital in their dynamic, they’re always looking at each other or looking for each other and even before they were a thing they were always making eye contact. it all comes right back to ben saying that he see’s callum but callum see’s him too and its something both of them haven’t had in so long?? nobody’s been able to just look at them and really SEE for so long and now they cant seem to ever look away from each other and they dont want to look away. the other thing thats so important in their dynamic is physical contact. they’re always touching each other like holding hands in the street or ben has his hand on callum’s thigh or callum is touching ben’s arm and shoulders because it’s such a reassuring gesture to both of them and they know they both need it. like, they both must be so touch starved?? ben has had physical touch, he’s super open about his sex life so we know that, but we know its canon that before callum he hadn’t just touched and been held in non-sexual ways since paul and callum has been pretending to be straight for 28 years and yeah he’s been touched too, but never in the way he really needed. when they meet in the park for the first time callum’s almost drawn to ben like a magnet and cant help but lean into him when he reaches out to touch him and the dam just BREAKS because he’s so starved of touch. and then when they get together its like constant touching because they both know that and its such a physical reassurance for the both of them and they’re not ashamed to admit that they both need it. ben isn’t tactile with many people, but he really is with people he cares about like lexi, jay, kathy, and now callum and i think that’s really important for their dynamic. anyway this got long and i could talk about this all day but i wont

What makes me happy about them:

we love representation baby!!!! and i love how devoted they are to each other, even if they show it in wildly different ways. callum is there for ben no matter what and chooses to defend him even when everybody else is against him, he sees all the good in ben where people would only ever see bad and chooses to stand by him through it all. and ben shows it so obviously whenever he tries to protect callum, like when he broke up with him because he thought he would ruin him and when he asked him if he wanted him to take care of leo. they both are so open and honest with each other and they really come into their own skin around each other. callum has become more confident and assured since they started dating and ben has become a lot softer and he isn’t afraid to be vulnerable now and everybody can see it. they both are two sides of the same coin and they bring out the best in each other!!

What makes me sad about them

oh don’t even get me started, ben is so fucking self-sacrificial. he pushed callum away to protect him even if it meant breaking his heart and callum pushed back and really challenged him even if it meant getting hurt more in the process. they both have had real difficult pasts and they’re so riddled with trauma and they could have so easily become closed off and cold but they didn’t, they both choose to love each other so deeply and fiercly 

Things done in fanfic that annoys me

it’s not so much of an annoyance but people making them sound super slangy or cockney makes me squirm

Things I look for in fanfic

the characterisation baby!!!! @sunsetsover has the best ben and callum characterisations in fics everything she writes is so flawless. 

My kinks:

i’ll never get over the fact that as soon as callum got back they stared at each other for a solid 30 seconds and then had desk sex in an unlocked office in the middle of the day on jay’s desk. also i would very much love to see one or both of them (particularly callum!!!!) get flustered over someone on the square noticing a hickey on their neck thank u very much

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

dont ask me this question the answer is nobody. they’ve set them up so deeply and their relationship is something thats so important and vital for each other that its hard for me to picture them with anybody else so seriously because of the established connection. 

My happily ever after for them:

ben, lola, jay, callum, and lexi all move away from the square together and live somewhere else as a happy little familly because its what they deserve. literally any ending where they end up together alive and happy

CALLUM HIGHWAY

How I feel about this character:

i love him with my whole ass heart i would die for him!!! i really want him to get his own sl soon, particularly the ptsd sl.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

ben mitchell

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i love his friendship with lola and jay!!!!! 

My unpopular opinion about this character:

let him be dark already, mans is dating a mitchell and actively keeping a murder a secret and the writers still expect me to believe that he’s a cookie-cutter butter wouldn’t melt guy?? no. give me more of the callum who beat the shit out of leo and knows how to defend himself. let him overhear someone on the square threatening ben or lexi and just decking them in the face.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

with the kidnapping sl i really want him to get shot, it would be an amazing parallel to ben getting shot in the vic and we’d get an angsty i love you from ben and some soft hospital scenes. BUT!!!!! i also want him to kick the shit out of keanu beforehand. he’s strong as fuck theres no way keanu would get the drop on him. maybe keanu threatens lexi or ben and callum threatens him and says if he even tries he won’t have to outsource his murder because he’ll kill him himself. i want ben, stuart, and jay to turn up and keanu’s got bruises and blood on him and callum’s just like “i wondered how long it would take for you to show up” just let him be the badass morally grey character that he’s growing into

My OTP:

ben and callum baby!!!!!!!

My OT3:

i don’t have an ot3 for them but i think the dynamic between ben x callum x tubbs could have been super interesting if they’d gone there

ask me things

[artificialqueens]

Sweets and Tea, Chapter 2// Trixya //Lin

AN: Hi guys! Lin again! Here's part 2 of Sweets and Tea! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, and I'll hopefully have an update soon!

Trigger Warnings: None for this chapter.

“Hm?” Trixie asked her, pulling her sleeves from her hoodie down over her hands. “W-what did you,” Trixie looked around to make sure her father was around, “fuck up?” She lowered her tone as she swore.

“You didn’t message me back last night, so I assumed I had said something wrong. You read my message, and then you never replied. Was it because I changed the tone of the conversation?”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I must’ve fallen asleep as I was responding or something.” It was a lame excuse, but she couldn’t tell her what actually happened.

“Oh, well, I’m glad I didn’t screw it up. Well, at least I haven’t screwed it up yet.” Katya said with a smirk. “Maybe you can reply to me sometime tonight?” She bravely asked Trixie.

Trixie felt her cheeks heat up and suspected they turned red. “Y-yeah. I have some homework to do after dance, but I should be able to reply when I finish.” Trixie fidgeted with her fingers as she looked back up at Katya. For some reason, she couldn’t help but wonder why Katya was trying to talk to her. Trixie didn’t think she was really Katya’s type, and she was straight-- at least that is what Trixie liked everyone to believe.

“You and your dedication to school,” Katya laughed. “I can wait, just text me whenever you have the time to talk. I never sleep before two a.m., so I’ll be awake. I’ll be waiting for your message Trixie.” Katya winked before turning and leaving her be.

Trixie watched as she walked out. She couldn’t help but think about messaging Katya later that night. She wanted to pull out her phone and message her right then, but she didn’t. She went about the rest of her duties: cleaning the bakery, storing the unbought pastries in the fridge, sweeping and mopping the floors, and wiping down the tables.

***

9:17pm: Hey, Katya. :) I tried not to make you wait too long, but school comes before play.

9:23pm: hi, of course youd say that. How was dance??

9:25pm: Awful! Absolutely a w f u l. We had conditioning today, and I can already tell I’m going to be sore in the morning. Anyway, how was your evening? I hope it was well.

9:27pm: barbie,, you text so proper, but i’m sorry to hear that. My night has been okay… my mom is still working but i spent time at alaska’s.

9:29pm: My dad told me that I shouldn’t use slang or improper language. He said I’d become too accustomed to it and it would cause me to use it in my day to day life. I suppose it’s just a habit now.

9:30pm: and do you listen to everything your dad tells you?

9:31pm: Yes, abide by thy father and thy mother.

9:33pm: omfg barbie, that’s from the bible!!!!

9:34pm: It is. I guess it’s the brainwashing clouding my mind.

9:35pm: is that a stab at when i voiced my opinion that religion is a form of brainwashing in chem last year?

9:36pm: It was… maybe you’re right though. Maybe it is a form of manipulation in a way. A way to get people to act the way they want them to act… do things that aren't Christian like but use the Bible to make the person feel as though they have to obey.

9:38pm: do you think you’re being manipulated

9;40pm: Oh, no. No, I don’t believe I am. I’m just saying maybe other people feel that way.

9:42pm: you sure? Im here to listen if you need it. Always

9:43pm: Why?

9:43pm: why what?

9:44pm: Why are you all of a sudden taking an interest in me?

9:45pm: because we’re friends

9:46pm: But we never texted before. I don’t want to sound rude, but I just don’t understand the want for interaction with me. When we were lab partners, you didn’t seem interested in developing a friendship with me throughout the year.

9:50pm: i dont know why. I spent a few minutes trying to figure it out, but idk… when i saw you again, I felt the need to reconnect… maybe on a more personal note? If you don’t want to have a friendship, I understand

9:52pm: I wouldn’t mind a new friend. You should text me at 802-###-####. I think it would be much easier than Instagram DM. Also, I’m going to turn my phone off now. I got in trouble last night for being on it after 10pm. Crazy how I’m 16 with a phone curfew, huh? Goodnight, Katya. :)

9:53pm: yes, it is very weird that you still have a phone curfew. I will text you in the morning and goodnight.

***

Trixie had been waiting on Katya’s message all morning. She was constantly checking her phone, causing her to get sadder and sadder every time she didn’t see a text from an unknown number.

“Beatrice, hurry up! I have a meeting for the bakery in an hour, so I need to drop you off at school early.” Her dad called from downstairs.

“I-I can walk.” She yelled. Trixie would rather walk than sit in the car with her dad. She used to love spending time with her dad, especially their car rides, but ever since her mom had passed away the car rides weren’t the same. Nothing was ever the same.

“Don’t wanna ride with me anymore?” She heard her dad’s voice get closer and turned to see him in the doorway of her bathroom. Trixie pulled her skirt down a bit more and buttoned her shirt up one more button. “You’re so beautiful, princess. You’ve grown up to be a beautiful young lady.”

“I just want to clear my head. I’m just nervous for my bible analyzation exam.” She made an excuse. “Thank you,” Trixie kept her voice low as she continued to curl her hair. “I’ll be fine, dad. I’ll send you a text message when I make it there safely.”

“Okay, princess. I’ll see you after school. Love you.” He walked over to kiss her forehead before turning away to leave.

Trixie flinched at the touch and affection before plastering on the fake smile that she always had. “Love you too.” She whispered back before sighing of relief when he exited the bathroom. A few months ago, Trixie would’ve done anything with her dad. They’d watch terrible tv shows, comedy movies, football, and dance competition shows. Now, Trixie was nervous to spend alone time with her father. He always seemed to get handsy with her if they spent more than twenty minutes together.

Trixie heard her phone ding on her countertop. She quickly picked it up and saw a message from an unknown number.

7:58am: morning trix.

7:59am: this is katya btw.

8:00am: Hi, Katya. Good morning to you as well. How are you this morning?

8:00am: tired… i just got up so that’s why i hasn’t texted earlier. what time do you have to be at school?

8:02am: My school starts at 8:00am, but I don’t have to be there until 9:00am. I don’t have a first period class. Does Riverside High still start at 9:00am?

8:03am: yes, wanna grab coffee with me? I mean i understand if you can’t or don’t want to..

8:04am: I’d love to! What time would you like to meet?

8:04am: 8:20 and at daily brew?if it isn’t close to your school, we can meet somewhere else.

8:06am: That works, it’s about a ten minute walk from my school.

8:07am: great, i’m gonna get ready and i’ll see you then

Trixie left her home at 8:10am to make her way to the coffee shop. She pulled the light pink sleeves from her crewneck over her hands in order to protect her from the air. It was only fifty degrees fahrenheit, but she didn’t like any sort of weather that is below seventy five degrees. She put her earphones in and played her current favorite songs. She softly sung along to the songs, smiling to herself as her mom’s all time favorite song began to play.

When Trixie arrived at the shop, she was starving and was also in need of caffeine. Her eyes traveled around the small shop, searching for Katya. She didn’t see anyone in the cafe except for the couple in the corner in an argument. She pulled her phone from her skirt pocket to check the time. 8:23am. She quietly sighed as she opened her text messages to text Katya. Trixie hoped she hadn’t been played or stood up by the other girl. Before she had the chance to send the message, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She quickly turned around and saw Katya. “Hi,” she smiled as she removed her earbuds.

“Hi, sorry I’m late. My shower took longer than I thought it would be.” Katya had practically ran to the coffee shop. Her hair was still drenched in water, causing the back of her shirt to become wet. Her mascara had smudged under her eyes from not being given enough time to dry. “I also probably look a mess, so once again I am sorry.”

“No, no, don’t feel bad. You look great and I just got here.” She was more concerned about Katya getting sick from the partially cold weather and wet hair. “Do you want to order and then we can sit and talk?” Trixie asked earning a nod from Katya.

[faustoaffair]

this is it. right now. the funny delightful moment when i’m finally lonely, starving, i’m depressed, screwed, stoned, naked, horny, suicidal, i’m just fucked up and, nothing, not even a single thing, none of these needs matter, because i feel ok. because i look over to the ceiling and i know out there’s a giant and endless sky full of stars, just as my face’s freckles. i know i’m nothing. don’t matter if i eat and don’t matter if i fuck, don’t matter anything of what i am or what i want, or what i feel. nothing matters, and this is the most free momento of my mind and my soul and my body: when nothing matters. no need gets to be important, and i’m in my bed, and my room is chaotic, so is my mind. and i’ll sleep, and tomorrow i might talk to somebody. but not today, no. right now there is no one and there’s nothing. absolutely nothing. i realize i truly crave the end of any existence, and the closer i get to it, the better it feel. i am nothing and no one is here. im an empty jar on the table, i’m the wet towel over the bed, i’m the old toothbrush used to clean small dirts, i’m the wind in the pouring rain, i’m the burnt star which stills shine in Earth’s sky. i’m all and i’m everywhere. and while you sleep, all my life runs through my veins as this powerful blue blood. i am free. truly free. life’s here, so is death. i swallowed life and kept it digesting, and i kissed death while i hope it kisses me back. the sun is rising (now), i’m serious, and only the moon can relate my affair. for so, i finally can get to sleep, and u swear, whoever wakes up in my body will be a little bit closer to nirvana.

[themastertater-blog1]

She so fucking cute, smh. I am insanly smitten with this chick. We’ve known each other forever it seems, but over the past few months we’ve been really getting to kno each other. She insanely sweet and she actually has a personality which is rare with lightskin women (thats a joke). She’s one of the few women in my life that can really make me laugh, and our chemistry is like Bobby and Whitney without the drugs. At this point in my life im just tryna get my shit together so that i can find the woman Ima spend my life with and im like 93% sure that i want it to be her. She has two degrees (i have none), she has career in nursing (i have two jobs that i hate), and she has her head screwed on tight (im borderline retarded depending on who u ask), yet we compliment each other so well. When we go out, i can see people wondering what she’s doing with me (im one of those people) but it doesnt bother me, because i kno that at the very least, she feels something towards me. It may not be what i feel for her, or it may just not be as intense as what i feel, but when i wake up in the morning and see that good morning text from her i kno that there’s a lil space in her heart and mind for me, and it makes the stares worth it. She is the only person that can make me feel overly nervous yet comfortable at the same time. I over think everything, and im a really anxious and self conscious person, but when im with her, i feel like im enough, i feel like im not as bad as i think, and that feeling takes over my actions and im lowkey suave with her. Like we went to Cumberland Mall when she was out here and she did that lil thing y’all women do where y’all brush against the dude hand as an open invitation for him to hold your had, and i was ecstatic. The fact that im in one of the busiest malls in the city, with all these high fashion stores and these high class people, while im looking and feeling outta place, the fact that the most beautiful woman in a 100 mile radius wants me to hold her hand had me on cloud nine, and for the rest of the day i held the shit outta that hand. In the last year and a half i lve been starving for some type of physical touch other than everyday platonic shit, juwt something to let me kno that women see me. I just want to be seen, so to have this heaven sent Goddess hold my hand in a mall with hundreds of niggas i convinced myself i dont hold a candle to did a lot for my self confidence, and it hust showed me that even when u think the worse thoughts about yourself there’s always at least one person that thinks only the best. And ima stop there for now.

[stressful-and-deathy]

jake x amy #10 pls!!!!

thank you for the prompt

10. staring at the other’s lips, trying not to kiss them, before giving in

It was 7:30 in the morning on a Friday, as Amy Santiago set down her New York Times crossword puzzle after hearing what her fiancé had just said.

“JAKE!”

“I’m sorry, babe! But Charles did that thing with his eyes and Genevieve was standing right there, and they where sharing a scarf again, I didn’t know what to do!”

“Oh.. I don’t know, babe - she says it with a very ironic tone that sends shivers down Jake’s spine. “You could’ve opened your big fat mouth and said ‘Oh, I’m very sorry but I completely forgot I said we would host dinner for you guys tonight and also completely forgot to let my fiancée know even though that was 2 MONTHS AGO!’”

“I… “- He did seem very sorry, to be fair, realizing how much he had screwed up.  

“Now, I have to clean up this entire apartment that has wedding stuff from ground to ceiling, miraculously find something edible that’s good enough for Charles and somehow play hostess for guests I didn’t even know we were having until the morning before after a long day at the precinct dealing with that freaking case you know has been biting me in the ass. Not to mention, it’s your day off so you get to do nothing at home all day. How convenient for you, right?” - She was absolutely fuming.

“I’m really sorry, Ames. I’ll make this up for you okay? I promise.” - She was already stomping out of the door as he yelled. “I love you and I treasure you!”

————

She was stressed all day with both work and the fact that she couldn’t get a hold of charles’ favorite restaurants (according to his blog) to order some of that gross stuff he eats.

She was still very pissed at Jake for pulling that on her out of nowhere when he knew she’d be exhausted, but she had to fight a smile at every text she got from him throughout the day.

‘i love u harder than i love die hard..er

i love u bigger than i love my sneakers

i love u to pieces more than i love my reese’s

please forgive this clueless detective

who(m?) is very regret..ctive.

anyways i love u im sorry’

After receiving about 15 of these by 2 pm, Amy stopped reading them. She knew she would start getting all mushy over them and forget what this fight was about. When she got home, they needed to talk. Jake had definitely grown a lot but he still had to grasp how much his actions affected not only his life anymore, but also hers and he needed to be more considerate.

________

As soon as Amy got home, she knew something was off. Her hands went to her gun immediately as she called out Jake’s name.  She slowly started to walk around the apartment with a frown on her face until she realized what was wrong.

Well, not wrong, actually.

The apartment was spotless. What before was dining table that had magazines, fabrics, pictures and napkins all over it, now had was beautifully set. The boxes full of samples and  binders were nowhere to be seen. And not only that but, everything was vacuumed and dusted.

When she walked into the kitchen, she saw the takeout bags from that restaurant where Johnny and Dora celebrated their engagement. The memory from that day was enough to put a soft smile on her face.

She found Jake passed out on the couch, on his stomach and with a kitchen towel sprawled over his shoulder. He was sweaty and his face was literally smashed against the cushion. It was adorable.

Up until that moment, Amy was still very set on not going soft on him at all. But then, she took a closer look at him. His forehead scrunched up a little, his nose to the side and his lips. His lips. Damn it. Why did he have to do that thing with his mouth when he was asleep? His lips would move very slightly, as if he was about to say something but then gave up. Or like he had an itch that made him pout just a little bit. No, Amy. You can do this. She thought.

But then he turned his head toward her and licked his lips, still asleep, and suddenly she could not do this.

She kneeled next to the couch, put her hands on his cheeks and gave him a soft kiss.

She knew he had woken up because of the smile that was now pressed against her mouth, even though his eyes were still closed.

“I canceled with them. I’m sorry” - He said a few minutes later as he pulled her to the couch next to him. “I thought we could have a homemade dinner date of our own instead”.

“You didn’t have to that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, that wasn’t okay at all but they are my friends to, they’re always welcome here. Doesn’t mean you’re off the hook though. You can expect that conversation after dinner ‘cause I’m starving right now. Come on, let’s eat.” - She got up and pulled him with her.

“Aw, man. I thought that kiss meant that everything I did here made you forgive me and promise to love me forever even when I do the stupidest things, no?”

“The only reason you got that kiss was because your lips looked to damn adorable so don’t get your hopes up.” As she set at the table.

“WHAT? You’re telling me that I didn’t actually have to clean all this up, pick up all that expensive food and be an amazing fiancé? All I had to do was lay there and look cute? Damn it, Amy. You could’ve said something.”

She just rolled her eyes and watched as he finished pouring her wine after bringing the lasagna to the table.  

[leaughrilke]

what was pregnancy/childbirth/going home for the first time like with finn vs. maia? how about what it was like to take stella home for the first time? how did each kid adjust to their new sibling(s) when maia/stella came home? i'm such a sucker for Brand New Baby headcancons lol

me, rubbing my hands together evilly bc my friend u dont understand, i have been waiting for a sucker just like u bc I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR BRAND NEW BABY HCS AS WELL, HERE ARE MINE FOR THE SUPERBABIES

so like the pregnancies were highly planned, no surprises or anything and results were waited on with equal excitement bc like????  holy shit theyre doing this????  and HOLY SHIT IT WORKED?????  

but like……once the initial excitement died down a little, lena starts to worry a lot??  and i mean this is particular to finn, bc like with maia it was more??  ok i kind of know what im doing, but with finn she had no experience, nothing to go off of.  like she can hardly remember her birth mother and lillian was terrible so like….its not as if she has any model for how to be a mother and she’s not sure she’s really thought this through.  like she likes kids well enough??  thinks theyre cute and isnt uncomfortable around them, actually is quite good with them and babies love her almost as much as they love kara, but this will be different, this isnt just holding jess’s niece when they’re at the company picnic, this will be a baby that comes home with them, this will be their baby, their kid to screw up and that’s terrifying???  holy shit

meanwhile kara is like??  so excited oh my god.  she’s so pumped and so loving and she feels like she’s overwhelmed in the best way, where her heart feels really full and she knows that when the baby gets here it’ll just spill over in the best way and she cant wait for it.  and she fusses over lena, moves her schedule around specifically to allow her to drop by l-corp a couple times a day to bring lena lunch or a snack, and she’s like the ultimate partner u know like she keeps the fridge stocked with whatever lena’s craving, always goes to every doctor appointment and childbirth classes, never grumbles when lena wakes her up bc her back is aching or she’s starving all of a sudden or she can’t sleep and the baby is in a weird position.  she puts together all the furniture for the nursery, is That expectant parent that spends a lot of time in the baby section of target, brings home probably more clothes than a single baby can wear.  she’s so excited???  like……how to explain this hmmm…  okay so we know how much kara loves her family, right??  bc she loves them a lot, she rlly does and its not at all that she wishes for biological family or something but theres like a certain…..pull??  i guess??  like this baby is equal parts her and lena, and she has this image in her head, like what if their baby looks like her or more like lena, what if their kid has her mother’s eyes or her father’s strong chin.  like?  she gets to see krypton live on, is what it boils down to.  she gets to see her family and her community and her planet alive and well in the little heartbeat they hear, in the grainy image on the screen at the ultrasound

the pregnancy itself is actually rlly smooth??  and like, when lena’s not terrified, she rlly enjoys it and like knows how lucky she is, like her morning sickness is p tame and only lasts the first couple months.  and like??  its not that she dislikes being pregnant or doesnt want the baby, she very much does, she already loves this little thing growing inside her so so much, just on the basis of it being a piece of kara, she’s just worried she’s not good enough, that she wont ever be able to be good enough to be this child’s mother.  but she just tries not to think about whats going to happen at the end of this, focuses on the way her heart skips when she feels those first flutters of movement or the way the tension slips out of kara’s shoulders the moment she gets home, the moment she can hear their child’s heartbeat.  they were never rlly an out on the town sort of couple, spent most nights tucked up at home, but now even more so bc lena gets tired at like eight at night, so most nights they’re on the couch or lying in bed, kara resting her head on lena’s lil bump, talking to the baby in her mother tongue, telling them all about this great world they’re going to get to see.  when lena’s lil bump turns into a big bump, then its usually them cuddled up on the couch with lena leaning back against kara’s chest, head on her shoulder as she dozes and kara’s tracing out the kryptonian alphabet on lena’s belly and its warm and the cats are snoozing nearby and there’s a stack of baby clothes in the laundry basket on the floor and a half assembled rocking chair in the nursery and its just??  good????

overall its rlly good like there’s some bad moments, some breakdowns along the way.  like it kind of scares lena a little how much she loves this little thing that??  doesnt??  even???  exist yet????  like she cant hold them, cant see them, but god, she already knows she’d do anything for them.  and kara has a few moments where she breaks down as well, where she cant remember a kryptonian word or the details of something she thought she remembered are a little fuzzy and god, what if she cant??  what if she isnt able to pass along her history, her culture?  what if she has this opportunity and she fails, again?

and they’re both so soft with each other, kara picks up on lena’s worry and lena picks up on kara’s and they try their best for each other, they do their best to help even when they’re struggling with their own things and lena tries to learn kryptonian and like….listen, she’s not great at it at first (particularly with pregnancy brain making everything a little fuzzy), but her accent isn’t terrible and she learns the basic vocabulary, enough so that she can confidently say she’ll be of some use in teaching their child to speak the language along with english.  kara buys all the parenting books lena glances at, sits up at night with her to read them, finds a mothers day card even though it fucking january and tucks it into lena’s bag for her to find and tear up over, talks about how lucky their kiddo is that they’ll have lena as a mom as if its the most natural thing to say

towards the later part of lena’s pregnancy, when they’re getting closer to the due date and lena’s getting uncomfortably pregnant and nothing’s fitting very well, not even the maternity dresses that kara finally convinced her to buy around month seven, kara kind of becomes a worrywart.  like she’s been v protective of lena the entire time but now??  anytime lena shifts or sighs or rubs her back, kara’s like WHAT IS IT, IS IT TIME, DO WE NEED TO GO and has like most of their stuff loaded up into the car, ready to go before lena’s has a chance to be like ……kara im ridiculously pregnant, im just uncomfortable, love its fine i promise

that said,, then she’s overdue and even more uncomfortable but the fear has set back in??  and she goes into labor p early in the morning, doesnt say anything abt it bc she doesnt want it to happen, not now, but kara seems to sense it, sticks a lot closer to lena than normal, even for overprotective post-due date.  and then lena’s water breaks???  and she’s crying????  and kara’s like holy shit okay but they dont have time to rlly do anything to talk through it, barely have time to get to the hospital before lenas like……in Active Labor, like ready to push active labor and there’s no time to get an epidural, but luckily she doesnt rlly need one??  she’s in pain, but its not as bad as some things she’s endured, but she’s still crying, begging for this baby to stay put, dont move, i’m not ready and kara’s crying bc she’s split between being heartbroken for her wife and being so so excited to her their child

and then finn’s there, crying loud enough to be heard over lena’s sobbing, kara’s assurances and kara looks at him and is so in love???  she’s so in love, he’s so beautiful, she tells lena as much as she gets to cut the cord and some little part of her knits back together when she helps lay finn on lena’s chest, watches as lena’s eyes clear, brows relax, watches as that same love kara feels dawns in lena’s eyes and its so much???  its too much, but its so good????

and everything is still so good for a while!!!!!  like the few days in the hospital, they’re just kind of in a blissed out stage where nothing is fazing them like......family comes to visit, theres four emails from snapper sitting in kara’s inbox, clark comes by and is visibly uncomfortable but they literally dont give two shits like look at this thing we made!!!!!!!  look at him, he’s beautiful and he’s got all ten fingers and all ten toes and look, he looks bald but he’s just rlly blond!!!!!!!  like.........they are just so in love???  

but then they go home and its different bc there isnt anyone to help them and for kara its like....idk its sort of like she’s super duper aware of her powers when she’s out in the world, like hyperaware and vigilant, but she’s used to being able to relax a little at home??  and now there’s this tiny fragile nonpowered as far as they know baby that is depending solely on her and lena for everything and suddenly she’s like shit i’m going to hurt him oh my god i Did Not think this through and then she like refuses to hold finn except under very specific conditions like sitting down, pillow in her lap to support him from below and lena’s a bit too wrapped up in finn to rlly like register this fact, a little too tired and sore and in love to do much more than notice her wife’s hesitance 

and its not as if kara’s like......//avoiding anything to do with finn.  like she’s still v much in love and wants to be around him, she just doesnt trust herself??  so she’ll still get up when finn’s crying at night, sits up with lena when she nurses him, gets lena whatever she needs during the day and overall does her absolute best 

lena brings it up to alex finally, one night when she and maggie come over to coo over finn and kara’s run out to pick up dinner.  lena and alex have grown a lot closer since lena started hanging out with the superfriends, alex sort of spotting that quiet sadness within a few minutes of having an actual conversation with lena and subconsciously sorting her into the same category of annoying psuedo-sibling that she had winn.  and by this point??  alex is basically as much a big sister to lena as she is to kara, defends her as vehemently as she does kara.  so lena goes to her with this, asks if kara’s said anything about not feeling comfortable or being afraid and alex is like ??  no, whats going on and then lena tells her everything she’s noticed, tells her the guilt she feels for not knowing how to help but she’s exhausted, like that new parent bone deep exhausted 

so alex corners kara just a little, calls her down to the deo for a fake emergency and then locks them into one of the training rooms bc she knows kara, knows she wont admit to anything when lena’s around, knows that she’ll keep trying to uphold this facade that she’s doing okay bc she doesnt want to stress her wife out.  and karas been sitting with this feeling for nearly two weeks??  basically since they went home, so there’s not much prodding alex has to do to get it out of her bc she’s exhausted too, is crying within a few minutes of talking tbh

alex hugs her for a long time, until she stops crying eventually and is like??  i dont have easy answers for you and i wish i did, but kara, you’re not going to hurt him and she keeps repeating it, keeps telling kara that she knows her probably better than anyone and she knows that she’s never going to do anything to hurt the people she cares about and kara’s thinking about red k and alex knows it so she just tightens her hold on kara’s shoulders and leans down a little to catch her eye and she’s like kara, this is your son and its like oh.  my son.  i have a son.  and suddenly kara’s crying again but more from good emotion??  like i have a child and i haven’t been holding him 24/7????  I GOTTA GO ALEX

so kara goes home and lena’s just getting up to get finn bc he’s starting to fuss a little and kara just gently pushes her back into bed and goes to get finn, picks him up and feels something settle when he quiets, looks up at her with big blue eyes that aren’t her color, not exactly, is something closer to her mother’s.  finn settles against her, one of his little hands sort of grasping at the fabric of her shirt, holding on and kara’s so???  overwhelmed???  and she promises him that she’ll be the best she can be for him, promises that she’ll never let harm come to him, that she’s going to keep him so safe and at some point she switches from english to kryptonian (kryptonese??), starts promising all sorts of things, starts promising that he’ll never be alone, that he’ll never be scared and lost and left on his own in a strange place, that she’ll never send him away, not without lena, not without her

lena hears it over the baby monitor but doesnt say anything when kara comes back into the room, having lulled finn back to sleep with a lullaby her mother used to sing to her.  she just pulls kara closer and they doze like that for a while and everything feels calm, settled for once

and then !!!!!  they’re just deliriously happy like finn is a rlly easy baby, doesnt fuss a lot, basically sleeps through the night from the beginning and is essentially the Perfect Newborn.  like they’re just??  so? ??  happy ?????  like lena has what is essentially unlimited maternity leave considering she can conduct a fair amount of work from home and catco gives rlly generous leave for all new parents so kara’s able to stay home for a long time, so they get to just sort of live in this wonderful little bubble for basically the first 4-5 months of his life and even after they sort of start transitioning back to work, its still rlly great??

like they do the mommy and me yoga and switch off weekends, kara takes him to swim lessons, they do walks in the park when it starts getting warmer out and like.......love showing finn off.  like he’s adorable and chubby and is rlly calm and smiley and like??  they’re so proud of him, they love him so much oh my god

UNDER THE CUT bc i always keep crying, im such a sucker for new babies

everything is a little harder with maia??  like it takes a little longer for it to work and when it does its immediately a completely different experience.  later on theyll think its probably bc maia manifests her powers a lot earlier, so maybe that’s what it was??  like she’s drawing more nutrients and stuff so that’s why lena’s so exhausted through the pregnancy but basically lena’s essentially bedridden for the first four and a half months with maia, either napping or feeling too nauseous to do anything.  once she hits five months, things get a little easier??  she’s still v tired a lot, but they think that that might just be bc they’ve got more to juggle, like she’s keeping up with a toddler and l-corp is acquiring a new subsidiary halfway across the world that she’s having to oversee from national city

kara worries abt her a lot in a different way from how she worried during finn’s pregnancy??  like this pregnancy takes a bit more of a physical toll and there’s a few complications, like lena develops gestational hypertension (her blood pressure, while achingly normal usually, stays high from the beginning) and her ankles just fuckn disappear and she just feels Bad through most of the pregnancy even though there isnt that emotional angst like there was with finn.  so bc of that, kara sticks p close through the whole pregnancy, is a lot less willing to take assignments that keep her away from home v long, gets v efficient when it comes to supergirl duties

but like??  stress aside, its a rlly cool experience for them bc finn’s around two and understands enough that he points to lena’s belly and says baby, likes to hug and kiss her tummy and its the Cutest thing in the world, like they have so many pics of finn being so sweet and like reading one of his picture books to lena’s belly.  and like??  lena gets to enjoys the pregnancy more bc she’s not as scared, not as petrified that she’s going to fuck up somehow, now that she kind of knows what she’s doing, now that she has a shining, grinning little boy that is like proof that she’s sort of good at this motherhood thing

so u know how lena’s blood pressure is high through the whole pregnancy??  well.  that’s not a throwaway fact pals.  she develops preeclampsia and gets induced nearly three weeks before her due date and like in the lead up to that, it’s rlly chaotic and scary like lena gets a migraine (and she usually gets those??  like that’s not uncommon but she didnt have any during her pregnancy with finn and she hasnt had any leading up to this one with maia) and goes to sleep it off and wakes up short of breath and like??  it just feels wrong, something feels off and calls kara at work and is like something’s not right and kara just flat out panics, drops all her shit and races home and lena’s kind of out of it and its terrifying??  its fucking terrifying and kara’s like fuck this, flies finn to the nearest superfriend for babysitting (it happens to be winn, who startles out of dozing at his computer screen to see little finn danvers grinning from the chair next to him, with a fully packed bag and a note pinned to it telling winn that kara will call soon) and she flies lena to the hospital, giving zero actual fucks about anything other than whether lena and the baby are okay

and it gets kind of crazy after that???  like kara barely has time to call the rest of their family and friends before things are like Moving and, again, there’s not enough time for an epidural but this time lena’s in a lot more pain, like this birth is awful, it rlly is, like lena’s out of it and in way more pain than she was with finn and kara’s scared shitless and their baby comes out quiet??  like no crying, no screaming, just utter silence and lena sort of collapses back on the bed and starts crying and kara’s not even able to get a good look at their kiddo with all the nurses working over em

and then the baby’s like screeching and one of the nurses hands her to kara with a smile and says here’s your little girl, mama and kara’s just like.......entranced and this little baby is so much like finn but so different already and she looks over at lena and beams and lena relaxes immediately, lets out this deep breath and kara’s like we have a daughter, lena and lena sort of sighs happily well let me see her and kara puts maia on lena’s chest, helps lena unbutton the top of her gown and unswaddle maia so she can rest against lena’s skin, feel her heartbeat and they’re so immediately happy???  like all the scary stuff, all the pain is immediately written over with this feeling, with maia’s little hand pressing right over lena’s heart and her eyes locked on kara

and then when things calm down and they’ve had a little time to collect themselves, for lena to get cleaned up a little, finn comes in and is so immediately taken with his little sister, like his eyes get wide and he’s got this small little smile and he’s so gentle without being told, sort of reverently reaches out to hold maia’s tiny little hand in his own and he goes my baby in this soft little voice and he crawls up in kara’s lap and asks if he can hold his baby and kara helps him and lena asks a nurse to grab her phone bc like.......why not get this moment on film.  why not capture her family all tucked into one chair like the most adorable nesting dolls

it’s maybe her lock screen for like six months

when they go home, it’s a little bit of an adjustment period??  not in the same way as it was with finn but in that now they’ve got two little kids with wildly different needs, like finn sleeps through the night mostly but has nightmares that he’ll need to be comforted from and maia wakes up a lot but more just??  wants to be near her moms???  like she doesnt cry so much as just stay awake until one of them check her and pull the bassinet closer to their bed

and for lena there’s a bit of worry over having a daughter??  bc its not that its all that much different than having a son rlly, she knows that and she’s the first to advocate raising children the same, but as a daughter of lillian luthor, as a daughter who lost her birth mother when she was young, but not young enough to completely forget her, as a daughter that has never had a solid maternal figure that supported her in her life, lena’s a little terrified of having a daughter??  worried that somehow, someway, she’ll ruin her

but it fades quickly??  like she and kara have always been v attuned to one another but since having finn, it’s just deepened??  so kara catches on quickly, talks to her about it one night when the kiddos are asleep and reminds lena that she’s a good mom, that finn adores her and so does maia already, its obvious 

mostly the adjustment is about just juggling the two kiddos, making sure finn doesnt feel left out and they work out a p good system, make sure to include him in basically everything

and finn!!!!  loves his baby sister so so much oh my god, he likes to drag his coloring pack into maia’s room when she’s napping.  like his moms will go looking for him and he’ll just be curled up in the comfy rocker in maia’s room, quietly coloring and he’ll shush them if he thinks they’re making too much noise and its the cutest thing ever, like he doesnt have the words for it but he just loves maia so much, wants to protect her and make sure she’s happy all the time

so its kind of wildly different with stella, bc like???  they thought they were done having kids??  mostly bc the experience with maia’s birth was so terrifying, like when they finally had a minute to process what all had happened it was like.......shit, lena could have died, maia could have died and it made them p hesitant to try for another kid, like??  they’re happy with two!!  and if they decide they want to expand their family, they’re v strongly pro-adoption so that’s probably the route they’ll go and that’s all nice and settled but then, well

kara gets a supergirl call at like six in the morning and she rolls out of bed, handles the issue and is on her way home when she glances down and sees something a lil shady down on the pier.  it’s probably eight or nine by now??  the sun’s up, but its winter so its still gray in the city, still feels pre-dawn and kara flies a little closer, sees a man on a pier and hears two heartbeats, his and one that’s weaker, faster, quieter, so she alerts alex and touches down and the man seems almost relieved to see her even as he moves closer to the edge and she tells him to stay, for his baby--because it has to be a baby, kara’s gotten too good at recognizing little heartbeats for it not to be, but the man just smiles sadly, says she’s not like me, i can’t love her right and just as the deo pulls up, the man jumps off into the bay and kara flies after him but he’s just......gone??  just gone.  nowhere to be found.  his heartbeat is indistinguishable from the roar of the ocean, kara can’t see him anywhere but kara can still hear that smaller one, and she hesitates for a moment before flying back up, touching down by the car and opening the door before the agent nearest her can tell her not to.  and theres???  this tiny little baby????  like barely strapped into the carseat, in just a diaper and kara’s like?????  immediately protective.  like the diaper’s obviously been put on by someone that’s never changed a baby before and she fixes that first, unclips her cape to wrap the baby up second, holds the baby close and turns around with this wide eyed look at alex third and alex’s like......well this is happening huh

and she’s?????  so small????  god she’s so small and kara’s heart twists and twists and alex calls out an address to her and it’s not far from the port and kara’s flies low, flies fast but she doesnt even get to the little apartment before she can tell, before she can hear the utter lack of life.  she lands just outside, looks up, looks through, sees the body in the bed, not moving not breathing and she looks down at this little baby in her arms, still sleeping and she just??  has a minor blackout tbh (metaphorically ofc) like she’s not sure what her exact thought process was but suddenly she’s at l-corp and the baby is still sleeping and she touches down, opens the balcony door gently and steps in and lena’s looking up, eyebrows raised until she notices the bundle in kara’s arms and like???  she doesnt Know, but she knows whats happening, knows its big and important and so she drops the papers she was working on, pads over and looks up at kara for a breath, then down at the baby and its like oh.  shit.  this is our baby now, isnt it

and kara starts explaining, starts speaking, rambling, falling over her words bc the gravity of what’s happened has just sort of landed??  it’s taken a beat but god she just watched a man kill himself, just watched this child be orphaned and its like??  she needs lena to understand.  she needs her to know why this is so important, but like??  lena’s already there, same page.  she’s looking at this little tiny child and deciding that she’ll probably be able to actually get some use out of maia’s newborn stuff, considering maia outgrew the clothes within a month.  like???  she looks nothing like finn or maia did as babies, is so much smaller and has this head full of dark hair, these dark eyes when she blinks them open to look up at lena, at kara, but she fits, you know??  its like kara and lena look at her and just like.....recognize her.  like she’s always been meant for them

and then kara’s just.......out of things to say, like she’s said everything she can and she’s just sort of looking down at the baby and so is lena and then lena’s asking can i hold ....her? and kara’s nodding, her, she confirms, letting lena slip the baby out of her arms and she’s just like lena, she’s and breaks off, throat closing and lena’s just nodding, smiling down at the baby and smoothing down the little cowlick in her hair.  i think maia’s old bassinet is still in the basement, she says and that’s that

the kids dont even question it??  like finn was young enough when maia was born that he doesnt even remember her coming home, she’s just sort of always been around as far as he remembers and maia doesnt have any sort of context for it, and rlly it doesnt matter??  like they crowd around lena when kara calls them over and finn promises then and there he’s going to be the best big brother and maia’s just staring all wide eyed at this little baby, decided that she’s going to keep her so safe bc she’s her little sister and the only other big sister she knows very well is aunt alex and aunt alex helps keep mama safe every day so.  logic, ya know

there is a bit more jealousy tho??  more from maia than from finn, bc she goes from being the baby to the middle child and like kara and lena are rlly good abt splitting their time equally, but there’s like??  more to do with stella, like they dont know anything rlly abt her background and they dont know why she’s not putting on weight and they dont know whether she’s just colicky or if there’s something they need to be worried about??  and its scarier too bc its all so normal ???  like they did all the tests for finn and maia, knew they had kara’s immune system, knew they didnt have to worry abt shit like whooping cough but like they do have to worry abt that with stella, its sort of like having a first baby all over again??  like there’s a lot of new experiences they’ve never had to think about before so there’s a little bit of jealousy from maia, but literally just a little, just like a couple temper tantrums bc kara says they cant play uno unless maia uses her inside voice, or bc lena can’t come see the picture she drew right that second bc she’s trying to get stella down for a nap

but they handle it rlly well??  like they each take a day with maia and finn, separately so they dont feel like they’re just getting lumped together, go and do whatever they feel like doing and do that ridiculously Good Mom thing where they each explain that, yeah, they’re having to spend a little more time with the new baby but they love them all the same, all equally and that they can pick something to do with their moms each month

that tradition actually sticks around!  like each kiddo picks a Thing to do with their moms, like finn favors the aquarium and maia likes to go to movies and stella usually just asks to go out to breakfast at noonans tbh (listen she is.........so much like kara sometimes)

so while finn and maia adjust p well, its not all smooth sailing.  like??  finn and maia were such easy babies!!  like SUCH easy babies, they rlly lucked the fuck out with them but stella???  oh god stella is such a difficult baby.  not like??  not like super-difficult??  but she cries a lot and the only time she rlly calms down is when kara or lena holds her and sometimes it not even full screaming crying, just quiet little whimpering that just like........breaks her moms’ hearts.  she also gets sick a lot??  lots of colds and stomach bugs and she doesnt put on a lot of weight for the first several months, like consistently on the low end of healthy.  like??  its all new territory for them, bc they never??  rlly??  worried abt finn and maia like this??  they never rlly had to

listen they heave a collective sigh of relief when their doctor tells them that she’s moved into the fortieth percentile for her age range like what????  she’s doing okay???????

anyway.  i’m crying

[ria-the-camel]

listening to hayley kyoko and getting emotional/feeling loneley af and realizing stuff i’ve been trying to deny about myself and um

[kellamundo]

Alright so here we go.

This’ll be long.

It’s been rough. Very rough. Especially these last few months. January-End of March was super crappy. Then from April to maybe July it was steady for me (still rough but not enough to put me in the slump i was in) but then once August dropped in it went downhill and is still downhill. So i had around 3-4 months ( 1/3 or 1/4 of the year) be okay.

Anyways, enough intro. So i went on a splurge today and dropped like $150 on an outfit and next week i plan to drop another $100 (i get paid this upcoming week) on like things to baby myself like a face mask and a haircut and maybe a new coat or something. I dont usually spend so much on myself but i am now ig.

I know that this isnt good, retail therapy and all. But idk what else i can do. Here’s what i HAVE been doing/trying to do.

1.) Reading. Ive been reading and that’s been pretty good for me lately. Sometimes i slip up but overall im proud that i can make myself read, even if it’s 2-3 pages. I try to read a little bit at least 2-3 a week. I dont beat myself up for it cuz it beats how i was before which was legit skipping class and staying in bed all day and etc doing nothing. At least i can escape in a book.

2.) Face masks. I’ve been trying to use them once a week. And so far ive been keeping up with it. It’s calming to me and it’s helping my skin. My skin has gotten really bad in the past few months and ik it’s because of stress and my depression...but yeah. It’s calming and also helps my skin so yay.

3.) Dancing. I’ve been dancing once a week to try to lose weight and theres been times where i ABSOLUTELY dont wana go and skipped. But for like 12 classes i only skipped 2. So im kinda proud of myself. Granted i signed up for 2 classes and skipped 10/12 for the other class but lets not mention that one lol. Next signup day i’ll just take one so i dont force myself so badly.

4.) Water/Healthy foods. I have made my diet a horrible one. I know it. And i started drinking soda again (ruining my year streak of just water). But recently ive been trying to get back into drinking water and though when im feeling down i wana grab a soda ive just been doing milk or like juices instead. But yeah im tryna go back to water only. So i think thats helping myself out too. And i’m guna try salad once a week and eventually do 2 and try to eat healthier slowly. (I work at fast food so all i eat is junk now and ive been overdoing it lately). Oh yeah! And i’ve been trying to eat at least twice a day. I either starve myself and eat once and it isnt a healthy meal or eat multiple times very u healthily so im trying to balance with 2 meals a day. At least, for now

5.) With my depression ive been avoiding all types of friend interaction. Idk what happened tbh but i almost never hang out with friends anymore. I just go to school, work, dance once a week, and home. But i think this November i’m going to try to reach out and be with people again...even though it’s getting colder and i wont wana be outside. But ik thats something i should try doing.

But, i wana do at least one more thing. Does anyone have any ideas? I dont wana stick with retail therapy and screw myself over ya know? I feel like i should do one more thing but idk what..

Any recommendations?

[dogshitmagazine]

Norbert

I adore carol and her voluptuous curves make me ache with need to serve her. her well endowed, exquisitely shaped derriere entrances me for ass-worship. Luv 2b her loo 4a wkend.I will be in a device in her basement; knelt down, sat back on my heels & facing up. she will feed me long girthy lumps straight down me from her.she will bask in the know that her relieved feeling of 'empty' is to my devoted 'fill'.will rinse my mouth to give her a fresh 'clean'.

...and i'm just 25

...and i'm just 25

She will purposely starve me a li'l bit and bask in the euphoric goddessness of my pleading to be fed by having my eager lips gently sucking on her rim while she offloads huge lengthy nourishments down me. after 2 days she'll be delighted that im 'running' completely and exclusively on 'her'.

On a lazy sunday morning.her in front of telly lying on sofa on her side with legs folded and browsing with the remote. i wld b knelt @dbotom of sofa gently rimming her with a moist tongue and gently probing her with a stiff tongue @times. wen she gently comands: 'IN' i will gently slide my stiff tongue up her. she ld squeeze n hold for as long as it pleases her (to my painpleasure obviously, DOH!) her gigles will vibrate my face.she'll relish in that my lipstongue have bcom 1 with her *

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She took me wine tasting,me crawlin after her on all 4s ind posh winery wit well laid tables.she says with a chuckle:i luv dwhite 1s butisuppose u'ld have what ive had.after about 30mins of sipping she says to me'its ur turn'iquickly take my place:kneeling,sitting back on my heels and leaning back with hands supportin me ond floor&face looking upwards; she lifts one leg over my face and straddles my face while standing over me,i obediently begin to empty her bladder ever so gently.

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My goddess gently enquires afterwards;u savour ur 'drinks' but take ur 'food' straight down u, becos i dont want d 'aroma' hanging, ur doing a good job on that by the way but y dont u switch tactics so u can taste ur meal for just once. 'Yes, my goddess' i say. And maybe there will b a quiz afterwards...on what i had 4 lunch,there may be treats and whips too

During 'feeding' carol says to me:All Ur food & Drinks will always go thru me 1st 4d rest of ur life.Its been 7wks of 'living' off me and i must say that ur healthy and energetic.I suppose its bcos i vary my meals and u benefit from that afterwards.Ur well nourished but ofcourse my body takes all it needs and then u have my rejects, Delish! isnt it, slave? 'Yes Goddess' i answer

One eve, she says 2me: "i feel a bit naughty & im going 2hv fun with feeding u.Ill pinch ur nose shut while i offload down u to c how quickly u swallow to breathe.U seem to tell what i had 4dinner but this time u cant as it will go down too fast!" she says gleefully."but i suppose u will tell as u will lick ur plate thoroughly as usual, oh well, i didnt think this thru, did i?" Not to worry, theres the rest of ur live to try other things"

Durin her futmasage,me kneltback@dfoot fdsofa;her lyin onsofa on herback inher shortdres revealin hergoddess legs frm toeto hip.she say:ihve dis fut masage oil4 2day.she look@ dlabel which say:fut masageoil;dontswallow.shesay2m­e "ahhh"&she sqirts loadsf oil onmy tongue.I then start2gently lick her soles,gentlysuckin her toes& slipin my tong btwn dem lashing themclean.after 1hr she puts her left heel on my4head making me face up &den stuffsher right heel inmymouth as d oil trickle down my throat.

'Feeding times' have become very efficient lately.Like an airtight 'transfer' btwn 2 tube channels,she rolls up her figure hugging dress,with legs a bit apart she bends her knees and arches her back to point her endowed, spellbinding ass in the air.then i kneel behind her and with rim suction, my mouth makes one smooth channel from her belly to mine and then feeding starts; really long,thick and high density,they slide continously down me for over a min. then i lick her clean and shes away again

There's nothing, absolutely nothing better than a full arse on wide hips.NOTHING.So lovingly overwhelming when im kneeling,looking vertically up onto goddess carol's endowed arse hovering poutingly &a few inches over my face; teasingly ready to swoop down and have me suck her rim for yet another fantastic 'nourish' session.Or when she kneels on table edge& im knelt on d floor,she locks my face into her arse with her feet and then proceeds to feed me in bursts and gigle at my struggle to keep up.

...But i do keep up as i will never ever waste one dollop of her goodness.cant find it anywhere else in the world. soothes me so much that even though its been months and months since i 'depend' only on her for all nourishments, i have a clean if not fantastic bill of health. Every man feels the same need to 'kiss' when they see their ideal ass (remember the royal ass?) but the feeling is fleeting for some and persistent for others; well endowed women deep down will find a need to feed such men.

After a "heavy" feeding session Goddess carol says 2 me " i hope u feel as good as i do during & after feeding u because oh!D relief i get!!i feel lighter and so relieved & comfortable.Especially with justnow,not being funny but that was a meal &a half!Umust have luvd it as u've bin starving since morning & its 7pm.Love doing dat so u have d appetite & d meal was huge!! which relieves me loads. Everybody wins,slave!"yes, my goddess" i say with total obedience.

I also dearly luv when she has me rim her till she fall asleep on the sofa while i wait knelt at the foot of the sofa. sometimes she stirs and i have to start rimming again to soothe her back to sleep. Once she stirred,help my face and slapped me across d face and put my head back for continued rimming.My goddess is grumpy when she's sleepy but everything she does is perfect by me.Everything. she used to make me taste her shoe bottom sometimes.I completely belong to her (online).

My goddess carol surely knows how much i enjoy my 'meals' considering the way my tongue ransacks her crack afterwards. she leans forward and reaches back to part her cheeks for a more thorough tongue-lashing. I occasionally tongue-probe and slide deep up her and she squeezes and holds while giggling, then she lets go and the frantic licks continue. Except when she's been pigging all day & im well fed; the licks are gentle,slow strokes but thorough never the less. Love my fantacies.

@nobertkerry you so talk shit and need help you trainspotter whos never had a woman

@nobertkerry bro u need help honestly we all want to fuck her but all you talk about is anal , is this your closet gayness? you want to be her toilet? o man u screwed up. local whores might take u up on it

yes, deforkeane; i want to kneel behind Goddess carol and fix my lips around her rim while she's standing with knees bent slightly with her back arched and her spellbinding arse in all its glory.this being after all day of pigging out, she will gently and totally offload dowmn me while she moans and sighs gently as i gratefully gulp all of 'her' no matter how much the meal is. im not gay, i just have a worshippy feeling towards women shaped like her. whats ur fetish metrosexual manwoman?

Mylife is where iam;totally subservient toher.when im knelt @d sofa bottom and shes lying onit playing with my face withher feet :pinching my nose close,guiding me to lick btwn her toes,sucking them and her inspecting my gums and teeth by prising my lips wide with her 2big toes &making me longstroke her soles till she drifts into abeauty sleep;As nourishment-wise,all mycells say;'Goddess carol'; i suppose it y i'd rather have this life than be a hollywood star. she owns me.

As at now (and for ages),literally every fibre in my body is nourished completely and exclusively by 'her'.As a result im weaned off everything else and now cannot survive without her.If i won the megamillions lottery, i will get on my knees in front of her and hand over the winning ticket as my life is under her and anything else outside that means nothing.

Goddess carol reads alot!!on one of these many occasions shes lying comfy on her back on d sofa in as very short tight stretchy red dress which moulds her perfectly & im knelt at the bottom end of the sofa. while she's readin and going thru a box of chocolates she, with her left foot bends & pins my head to rest sideways on sofa while with her right foot she smacks my cheek sharply and in between she makes me suck her big toe; for hrs!! i luv that im hers.

Goddesscarol knows how much i miss her on her few long nights out with d girls so we have aroutine:After she's had her scented bath, made-up but still in just her lacy panties and bra,she has me sit on dfloor infront of d sofa &lean my head back onto the sofa facing me up;she sits on my face;With my face way up her crack&her legs hooked under my armpits to hold me there she makes calls to her girls to see if they are ready. i have to be 'breathless'for d call time.& then she's off with the girls

Goddesscarol says 2 me one restful morning: "i feel i should make u a cereal soaked only in 'lemonade'. luv to c u lap it up like a dog in front of me but then i enjoy it when u gently empty my bladder with ur lips.Also the cereal will mean i didnt 'process' it 4u 1st.oh well, its back to me having the full english breakfast, bacon and all and then feeding you in 2hrs.

Goddesscarol didnt leave dhouse so she played;she hadme go2d garden &kneelby dswing.Mins later shecame out wearing ONLY a barely-there shortdress&slippers.she climbed 2stand upright on my shoulders ;holding unto the crossbars she asks:amiheavy? No'ianswer looking up@her arse.iknow ulike dview from dia when u look up,now hold that gaze"she squats down &mylips latch unto her rim &as she loads me shesays:its astraight line from my belly 2urs & that makes iteasier4u. i know urthankful slave, i know.

My goddess says2me:D theme 4my outing with the girls2nite is 'schoolnite'&we will feast on junk like burgers and kebab,i know how thick&lengthy urfeeds are afterwards on such.oh well,get ready as idont want anymore tears as ur throat struggles totake my width!! the truth is that i luv such nites; iluv 2 suffer for my goddess more than she knows.after one such nite she loaded me and observed righty: Ur belly is huge with my load!i do feed u well! she was right on both counts.Best ive ever had 2.

Goddess carol says to me: 'This Xmas im gonna gorge on food as ive been a good girl all year. Also it will be interesting 2c u add weight off of me,very interesting.Do u luv it when i have pies,slave? 'yes goddess' i say.'oh, pish-tash' she says, 'you luv it all as long as its 'me'.what wines do u like me to have? the white ones feel softer when u drink it off me afterwards". Well, as for the food, i luv d ones dat make my dumps huge as i luv when u struggle and get teary-eyed.'oh, beef lasagna!

Soon afterthat was 'feeding time'.'thiswill b tricky'she muttered as she explained:iwill stand on d edge of desk&fall backwards uwill catch me like ina trust execise but uwill catchme with bothpalms to my arse near urface,i willthen sit up on urpalms while u part my cheeks and then.. u know' shesaid.Wedid justthat.withher cheeks parted isucked onher rim & verythick,long feeds strained my throat as theywent down me.i could tell i will b well fed as i had noticed loads of macdonald packs inthe bin

Still in doffice,she lifts her legs unto the desk while still sitting on my chest straddling my face.she peers down tomy face between her full breasts & voluptuous thighs & whispers a command "drink". My lips make soft contact with her pussy and with the gentlest of sucks,i begin to drink her. As i empty her, she says "i trained u well my slave" & in all honesty i say " yes my goddess.

Godesscarol tookme2d officeroom in dhouse2day.Astold iwent&knelt down2feetinfront ofherdesk backingit.isatback onmyheels&leaned wellback2support myself withhands 2dfloor& thenfacedup.shecame wearingdshortest loosedress ever&sat onmy upperchest stradling myface."usaid iwasnt heavy lastime,good,as ispendhrs sortingthings out.Withher spellbinding arse onmy chest&faceframed byher juicythighs ipeeked up@her luvlyface,d priceless feelingofpain-pleasure-sufferi­ng washes overme as isay'yes goddesscarol'