#screwball didn't ask for this

[propelbottle]

broke up with my best friend today btw :(

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME TWISTED METAL / SEASON 01 EPISODES 01 + 02

the world fell to shit.

not having easily accessible porn freaked people out.

it's like a goddamn maze in here.

i got a big package for you.

time makes a fool of us all.

what's your name, slugger?

time to turn on the charm.

guess i'm not getting that knife back.

i'm sure you've got some stories.

charming, devilishly handsome, you know the type.

he was invited to have a beer with a mysterious, mildly intimidating white lady.

you got a solid ass.

i've got a lot of power.

i can make people's desires, their dreams, their every wish come true.

you have no idea what i would do for some two-ply.

i've never met a baby before.

aren't you tired of almost dying every day?

arent you tired of always being alone?

he had a theory that little sins could attract big sins.

consider it your punishment for crimes committed against the law.

eat my ass.

saving your ass once again.

it'll make your nipples spin like a lady in the burly-q show.

that's why i'm here to see your pretty face.

it means dealing with a bunch of brainwashed, burger worshipping screwballs.

there's chaos out there.

you know, it's really rude not to introduce yourself before pulling a gun on someone.

how about you lower that sorry excuse for a gun and i'll lower my exceptionally cool blade.

we don't want things to escalate, do we?

see? now things have escalated.

this never happened to me before.

you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

six bullets, each with your name on it.

that said, i'm willing to negotiate.

i love you, but this is all your fault.

well excuse me for trying to get you something dope for your birthday.

you know what's dope? a full eight hours of sleep.

i call dibs on the man titties.

they'd rather eat the flesh of their own kind than starve.

silent, but not very deadly.

you can hide, but i have ways to find you.

damn. that usually works.

why are you scurrying away, little squirrel?

sounds like you have trust issues.

i finally felt hot water that wasn't my own piss.

i really appreciate you coming along nicely.

normally i have to drag people into here kicking and screaming.

you won't like what happens if you run.

i love names. i'm kind of a name guy.

you should consider yourself lucky.

there are some things i wish i could forget.

you holding in a fart or something?

are we really gonna kill these guys?

they see the world in shades of grey.

my entire life people have been lying to me.

being alone was all i knew.

i was gonna starve her, watch the life slowly drain from her eyes.

i think she's gonna give you a run for your money.

you try to kill me every chance you get.

why should i show you mercy?

if it wasn't for me, you would be a starving corpse right now.

neither one of us made it pretty far on our own.

instead of trying to stab each other in the back, we should put our heads together and figure out how in the hell we're going to make it through this.

cool, we're fucked.

i am gonna tour de force this machete down your throat.

if you're not gonna tell the truth, then i'm gonna make you shut up and bleed.

it was a fucking snooze-fest.

your performance was dull as dick water.

you don't want to spend the rest of your life alone.

i'm gonna embrace the chaos.

maybe i'll even fall in love.

i have to admit i didn't think we were gonna make it out of there alive.

what is your problem anyway?

i'm keeping the gun.

you're really not gonna tell me your name?

did you just ask me for oral?

eat my ass, fuck.

[micamicster]

Hi! Do you have any romcom (movie) recs? I feel like i hypothetically like the genre, but have a lot of trouble finding ones i enjoy. So many romcoms feel so formulaic (in a dead way) and misogynistic and stale to me. I think they’re a lot easier to do well in the context of a series because there’s actually time to build. Recently i thought rye lane and fire island were fun. I like kdramas when i have the time for all the episodes because i appreciate the build. I need chemistry— people who both convincingly like each other and seem like actual human beings. I thought you might have some good ideas! Thanks <3

HELLO LARGE VOICED ANON <3

I hope you weren't waiting on my recs all day haha i have been. hm. hungover af <3 (i'm going to leave kdramas off this list for now but if you would like specific recs for kdrama romcoms send me another ask and i can try to do them justice!)

I think this is a genre with underrated range! So one thing that I find very interesting about the genre of romcoms is that I think there tends to be a split between romcoms whose goal is, like, to be a fun lighthearted movie with a central romance, vs romcoms whose goal is to Say Something About Love in the vehicle of a funny movie. Both of these categories are represented on this list but for giggles i will not be saying which i think are which <3

anyway recs under the cut <3 i will link my tags for these movies if you want to take a look but be warned for spoilers ofc

I think for your purposes my primary rec would be Lovesick (aka Scrotal Recall). It's a (short) tv show so it would likely give you the chance to get to know the characters and see a slower build. In contrast to the frustration you've had with some more "formulaic" romcoms the writing in this show is very deliberately in conversation with romcoms of the past. Also it's just one of my favorite romcoms ever made so I rec it to everyone. The premise is that a young man, Dylan, is diagnosed with chlamydia and instructed to tell his past partners. Being a hopeless romantic (emphasis on hopeless), he decides to try to turn this into an opportunity to revisit relationships that didn't work out, and try to figure out where he's been going wrong. Two simultaneous storylines play out in each episode, the flashbacks to the exes (and breakups) and the present, where Dylan's best friend is getting married.

Older romcoms: When Harry Met Sally (ive heard this is divisive? but idc its SO funny and so well made), Moonstruck (a romantic-comedy in the operatic sense. also cher <3), The Philadelphia Story (katharine hepburn the woman u r. tw for a classic 1940s gag about punching ur wife in the face), Bringing Up Baby (screwball comedy my beloved), Roman Holiday (audrey hepburn is lethally charming in this movie), Dirty Dancing (someday ill write something this good and then You Will Realize), Much Ado About Nothing (i tend to enjoy either the danielle brooks shakespeare in the park version or the classic tennant/tate combo)

Teen romcoms: 10 things I hate about you (young heath ledger and young julia stiles ur welcome), to all the boys i;ve loved before (lana condor is ADORABLE), The Half of It (my other favorite sort-of romcom of the decade)

More recent-ish: Speed (like its keanu and sandra what more do you want), Strictly Ballroom (i used to watch this literally weekly as a child and I WAS RIGHT TO), Miss Congeniality (sandra bullock what u did for us all <3), Fire Island (thank u 4 my LYFE), The sandra bullock/channing tatum movie that came out last year (i forget what its called but he's so funny in it), Mamma Mia AND Mamma Mia Here We Go Again (beautiful greek islands, abba, cher, what more can you ask for?)

Indian/bollywood: Jab We Met (after dramatically quitting his job, Local Man somehow ends up escorting a woman he meets on the train while she attempts to elope with her boyfriend. aka classic screwball comedy heroine and Guy She Dragged Along For The Ride), khabie khushi khabi gham (multiple generations of romance and family drama featuring Kajol, the Most Beautiful Woman In the World), Band Baaja Baaraat (two wedding planners fall in love--great choice if you want to watch idiots ambushed by their feelings)

Other tv recs: Selfie (john cho and karen gillian in a show canceled far too soon)

[itwoodbeprefect]

911 season 7 episode 4!! we've arrived!!

the only reason that i understand this long opening section is playing on the bachelor is that i've watched jarvis johnson talk about it before. thank you jarvis johnson.

the i'm taken but he's not scene. buck has a rule. eddie looks confused. hmmm.

fjdkf "hey joey." while watching the previous episode i said buck was bisexual character number 2 this season (after norman) but i may have been wrong. he's number 3, after norman and chimney.

i mean, admittedly i've never seen a single episode of the bachelor firsthand, but it seems to me like they'd LOVE for something like this to happen. nobody got seriously hurt, it's extremely dramatic and big, lots and lots and lots of free press - what could be better for reality tv?

buck is so pumped to be getting the tour!!

"i guess that night was the most fun i'd had since getting struck by lightning." "you need to raise your bar, kid." fjdkfd. lines that could have worked word for word in a katherine hepburn/cary grant screwball comedy.

fjdkfjdkfj he's just using getting struck by lightning as a point of reference! "ah." is the right response, i think, tommy.

he could give buck lessons if he wants!! honestly i could quote every line of this conversation as notable and fun. i'm having a ball watching this actually happen with audio, instead of looping chunks of a few seconds. (not that there's anything wrong with looping chunks of a few seconds. i love looping chunks of a few seconds, looping chunks of a few seconds are tumblr's liveblood.)

tommy has "something" (a person) "that" (who) should be arriving right now, actually. fjdkf. early practice for when eddie ends up crashing their date next episode

also, dear god, eddie's giant truck. forgot about that thing.

fjkdf. this poor man, watching his best friend and unknown crush fly off together. admittedly not into the sunset, but to vegas nonetheless

waffles!!! bobby and athena made it through a cruise on a sinking ship and now there's someone breaking into their home making waffles

harryyy. i was just thinking about him during the last episode!

ohhhh. he didn't just shoot up into the sky, that actually is a harry recast. interesting

okay, so apparently (x) marcanthonee reis was "sort of ready to move on". assuming that's true, fair enough - for anyone, but especially for a kid playing a role on tv.

ravi's "who's tommy?" is totally fair, and then he gets rewarded for his patience in being totally excluded from buck and eddie's weird jealous bff conversation by getting sent down a sewer. rough day, man

"both like watching half-naked men pummel each other" is certainly a set of words. it certainly is.

not for nothing, but is eddie blind, or is he just enjoying winding buck up a little, being at the center of some (as he would probably assume) friendship jealousy? because buck is. not being normal about this. at all.

buck thinking he's getting invited to the bar trivia thing and being asked to babysit.... i fully knew that was coming, but it's painfully awkward either way. also, dear god, eddie has already asked his girlfriend to babysit his kid twice this week. hmmmmm.

the AIR QUOTES. had to replay that three times, it's excellent, i adore this. the way he says it is SO good

the little WIGGLE at the second set of air quotes. GOLD

"get this! [star wars opinion]" jfkdfjk. possibly the funniest 911 has ever been

on his fridge! eddie has a day calendar! underatakeoutmenu

IT'S CIRCLED. WHAT DON'T YOU GET, MADDIE.

maddie's "with a little heart around it?" line is exactly as good as it seemed in all the gifs. wonderful, amazing, life-changing stuff

uh oh, harry in trouble!

yeah. so. the woman on this home break-in call absolutely shot her son, didn't she?

she did. we needed a nod to athena's recast son subplot.

that's athena's cop side coming out when she tells her son in a weird roundabout way that people are going to pee on him in jail. if buck and eddie sounded like a classic screwball, this is more tango & cash.

OH. we ARE getting into the athena-is-a-cop part of it.

oh my darling. you are being SO weird about this (affectionate).

insane amazon prime sponsorship just right in the middle of jealous bisexual weight lifting. what is happening

oh my god. oh boy. oh no

i mean, oh YES, but there's just oodles of secondhand embarassment to go around here. love you though buck, go for it, don't let me stop you

chimney innocently asking what that is buck is heartbrokenly cuddling..... and getting roped into this insane musclebound love triangle. poor chimney, you did nothing wrong.

also though. eddie giggling on the phone and fully and blatantly ignoring buck for that entire scene? there's just so much going on here. everyone's in love with tommy and his cool helicopters.

i was genuinely sort of hoping the athena-breaking-the-news part of this woman-shot-her-son case would remain implied. very sad. only misery here.

buck bullshitting his way into pretending this is totally just his attempt to bond with his future brother-in-law is very funny. nice try, my boy

the face of a chimney realizing he's been tricked :(

chimney calling himself a basketball beard...... chimney is cleverer than he even knows, i think.

i saw the post @redgoldblue reblogged pointing this out, but. yeah. that IS a whole montage that's just a very long top gun reference. playing with the boys!!!

also, in light of that...... buck & eddie's infamous "you can have my back any time" was also a top gun reference. (specifically, a reference to "you can be my wingman any time."/"bullshit. you can be mine.", as in, this right here.) we all agree on that, right? i've never seen anyone mention it, but that might just be because i only really see 911 content when it happens across my dash, so. we do agree? because. buck&eddie first bonding moments related to top gun.... buck&tommy arc starting with top gun basketball..... i'm just saying. i am. just saying.

sitting here open-mouthedly indignant that buck dragged chim along and then doesn't even let him play. chimney deserves better even in the middle of a dramatic understandably self-centered sexuality crisis

he bucked that up!! oh my god

big sister maddie is Good. i like that

a few minutes to go in the episode and there's a knock at buck's door! who might that be? maybe he ordered something else off of amazon prime (which is canonically really quick and convenient and you don't even need to sign anything).

the way tommy says "evannn." is so good

the fact that it's the terrible fake mouth static over the radio that got buck's attention is amazing. meet cute: we fly into a hurricane and you badly pretend your radio isn't working when someone tries to talk sense into us

🌈🎉🌈🎉💖

yes 🥺 he is free 🥺

gifs are good and wonderful but there are some things they just can't possibly do justice due to the limitations of the medium and just. seeing buck's quiet wide-eyed response to tommy kissing him and this Big Revelation he's having is definitely one of those things that need to be watched as a full scene with audio. oh gosh

saturday!

just lovely lovely good very sweet stuff! it's nice. but, like, nice - in a wonderful, good, heartwarming sort of way. god. the distance we've come - incredible.

[transingthoseformers]

So, the G1 men who are women in at least one other continuity;

Override (Cybertron, Bayverse, Aligned, Animated maybe there are two Overrides — one male and one female)

Joyride (Cybertron)

Tread( )bolt (Energon)

Cliffjumper (Armada)

Ironhide (Armada)

G2 Windrazor? (Ask Vector Prime, Legends, 2007 toy)

Red Alert (Universe toy in Japan, Animated)

Bombshell (Cybertron)

Nightbeat (Animated)

Sunstreaker (Animated)

Wingthing (Animated)

Drag Strip (Animated)

Thunderclap? (Aligned)

Whirl (Aligned, sort of — there's the male empurata Whirl in the Wreckers but also a female Whirl in Rescue Bots, the man barely exists in the continuity)

G2 Skyjack / Skyfall (Aligned)

Skimmer (Kreo)

Swoop (Cyberverse)

Nova Storm (Cyberverse, Earthspark)

Skywarp (Cyberverse, Earthspark)

Cosmos (Cyberverse)

Frenzy (Earthspark)

Devastator was apparently female in some random universe somebody hopped into for five seconds in some Funpub comic i think? But it was Funpub so...

Unicron Trilogy Optimus Prime from some play was apparently established as a woman in Ask Vector Prime. I didn't write her or Devastator down originally because they're barely canon, so i'm going off of memory.

Unicron Trilogy Scourge was also female in the same thing, because clone of Optimus and all.

Dub gender changes;

G1 Starscream was female in the movie's french and turkish dubs, but only the movie. Male in the rest of the series.

G1 Shrapnel was also female in the movie's french and russian dubs, but movie only.

Cyberverse Thrust was female in the japanese dub (renamed Red Wing).

Miscallenous;

G1 Ratchet was originally imagined as female by Bob Budiansky until Hasbro banned him from putting women in their boy show (tfwiki says the Shout! Factory dvd extras have images of Budiansky's handwritten concepts, it doesn't say if anybody else might've been mentioned as a woman in those but it's possible. I can't access them so).

Cyberverse Jazz would apparently have been a woman if she'd appeared more, even though the toy or something referred to her as male.

There could be more, or some dub stuff etc. which i could be missing. Or something could be weird on the list, i went through tfwiki's female transformer list over twenty hours ago and only wrote down names and continuities and whether it's actual or a dub thing.

Also note that tfwiki considering characters "G1" means Generation One continuity family", and doesn't necessarily mean they were in the Sunbow cartoon or the Marvel comic or in the japanese sequel to the Sunbow cartoon. They could've debuted in IDW1 or even IDW2, or some random tie-in crap to something.

Wait no, there were also maybe at least two bots who were female in TransTech, but i didn't write their names down because TransTech was basically fanmade. TransTech also had a bot who switched between male and female in-universe, as in more than once, but idk if they were in any real continuity. I might have ignored more prseudocanon gender swaps. I don't remember.

Also not women, but Cyberverse Acid Storm is genderfluid (tfwiki used they/them), and some bot named Screwball not being on the binary was mentioned on Nightshade's page but idk Screwball's continuity.

Now that gives us quite the list!

[wojit]

My favourite films that I watched in 2023

Stole @cadmium-free's movie poster post format but then spent a week being perfectionist about my Wojits:

The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love (1995) - 1st January "This movie was basically half Dykes To Watch Out For, right down to the Stonewall Was A Riot note on the fridge door."

Of An Age (2023) - 15 February "Hilarious and devastating, together at last. This was the 34th film I've seen this year but I think the first to leave me Entirely Sobbing at the end. It was everything I needed." Idk where their legs are going don't ask me.

Parting Glances (1986) - 1 March "A nice time capsuley bit of historically significant queer film history maybe, but it is actually extremely fun, very funny, beautiful and emotional, with incredible performances and a superb soundtrack to boot."

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) - 30 March "It honestly made me think of nothing so much as Speed Racer. Like, yes, extremely different films, but they they both thrive on an awkward blend of comedy and sincerity, they both masterfully drawn on a full range of film techniques, with no mind to what might be seen as cheesy or cheap, and they both take absolutely every opportunity to make every scene and transition Maximally Weird."

Yentl (1983) - 10 May It was as trans as I expected, and twice as bisexual!! ... Every time she sung in voiceover it felt like she was severely dissociating.

Gol Maal (1979) - 13 May "Absolutely wonderful screwball generational & class comedy." I watched this on a plane but turns out it slaps and is maybe something of a classic.

Ali: Fears Eats the Soul (1974) - 29 May "The best All That Heaven Allows-like I've ever seen ... this film was utterly beautiful and heart-wrenching." Not my best work posterwise...

Duel to the Death (1983) - 14 July "I didn't expect so many fight scenes with so many people, I didn't expect ninja and synths, I didn't expect amazing action alongside amazing comedy, I didn't expect wonderful and silly special effects"

Pontypool (2008) - 22 October "Just the premise and conceit (both of which I knew in advance) would make a 5 star film but, unexpectedly, the execution is friggin' perfect too. I mean, I love a bottle episode." I couldn't draw the film poster so I drew the poster in the film.

All of Us Strangers (2023) - 15 December "This film perhaps does better than any I've seen at presenting the weight of a (queer) personal history."

[jaded-but-queer]

Ships in the rewrite that I’ll use ✨

Fluttershy - Discord (obviously lmao)

Twilight Sparkle - Sunset Shimmer

Rarity - Applejack

Pinkie Pie - Cheese Sandwich

Rainbow Dash - Vapor Trail (I'm debating about this one but the more I think about it the more I like it)

Minor ships in the background will probably include

Chrysalis - Mantis (they'll be much more strained than in DOD/SILOD due to their complicated history with each other)

Flash Sentry - Sunburst (minor but I might have their child be an attendant to Lily Sterling, and I adore the headcanon of Sunburst being the younger brother of Sunset Shimmer)

Soarin - Braeburn (a classic ship that will be very minor and probably only be mentioned a few times by the twins who will probably still be biologically RD and Soarin's; in this rewrite, they'll have mutually broken up not long after the events of BOD)

Bonus! How I might structure Screwy's friends in this rewrite

Apple Blossom as I mentioned in my previous post will be redesigned into Bloomin' Apples and will be the daughter of Sugar Belle and Big Macintosh. She is now a unicorn and isn't on the best of terms with Screwball, and they consider each other to be nuisances (Screwy can't stand Bloomin''s unpleasant and stuck-up attitude while Bloomin' just finds Screwball to be annoying to be around and has a habit of giving them backhanded compliments whenever they see each other); ironically she gets along quite well with Mothball after they first meet and regularly hang out. She and Thunder had an on and off again relationship before she broke it off for good, and things are currently very awkward between them; it doesn't help that their parents are extremely close to each other.

Thunder Dash and Lightning Dash's names have been tweaked to now be Thunder Blast and Lightning Blitz, and as mentioned earlier they'll still be RD and Soarin's kids but their parents haven't been together since they were still infants. Yes, this means Prism won't exist but I honestly didn't care much for her lmao. Lightning is the no-nonsense straight man to Thunder's lovable himbo (Joey Tribbiani is my best comparison for him) and they care very deeply about each other despite their petty spats. Lightning is still very close to Screwball and loves them like a sibling while Thunder won't be as close to Screwy like in the OG but still considers them a close friend.

Cinnamon Stick and Cinnamon Roll will still exist since I adore them but I'll be tweaking Cinnamon Roll's name into Cinnamon Bun just for funsies. Now personally, don't ask why this is just what I thought of while rethinking their characters, I love to portray them as being Hispanic/Latino-based (if I had to be specific I'd say Central American, maybe Nicaraguan or Guatemalan); I've even named their late birth mother Dulce D'Leche. They both have much more noticeable mental scars from their childhood, in case you don't remember their bio mother passed away after the family bakery caught fire and their bio dad abruptly left without explanation (boy will I have a fun time explaining DF's hidden explanation for this in my next post), Cinnamon Bun tries her best to hide it but has times where she can't help but grieve for her mother that she never got to know since she was just a baby, and Cinnamon Stick will be very quiet and reserved with a knack for being sarcastic/rude for no apparent reason whenever he's uncomfortable around others; he's extremely sensitive when it comes to the topic of his birth parents, and Screwy's the only one who's witnessed his tears for his beloved mother and his rage towards his coward of a father for leaving them. Cinnamon Stick will be Screwball's closest friend right after Lily Sterling and I imagine Screwy has a soft spot for Cinnamon Bun and treats her like a baby sister whenever she visits.

Mothball now has a long pretentious name because that's my favorite thing to do: The Crown Prince of the Changeling Empire, Io "Mothball" Insecta von Roachanov III; Mothball is a nickname from childhood that just stuck, it's changeling slang for a "rambunctious/temperamental grub (infant)". He will have extremely low self-esteem as a side effect of his mother's treatment and the isolation he faced growing up, and he'll have the habit of questioning compliments like "... you really think that?/I don't know about that" and tends to doubt his own intelligence. I mentioned in my first post that the changelings are an extremely conservative matriarchy, and this has its effects on him when it comes to social interactions and how he believes he must hold himself as a male of his species. Luckily for him, Screwball is all for breaking rules and social norms and helps him come out of his shell not long after they first meet (they'll be young adults when they officially meet in this rewrite and have had past romantic relationships/immature crushes). His infatuation with Screwball develops fast and I like to use the phrase: He fell first but they (screwy) fell harder. They absolutely adore the hell out of each other once they get their issues sorted out and will drop almost anything if the other needed them.

BTW I might also try and portray Mothball as being on the autism spectrum, something that he himself won't find out until adulthood since I can imagine Chrysalis (with her ancient and overtly conservative ass) doesn't really believe in it being a real thing her own son could have.

Oh and Dinky has been Thanos snapped out of existence because I found her character to be very underwhelming lmao and her role will be replaced by my redesign for Princess Flutterby Lily, Princess Sterling Lily. Sterling will have a lot of history with both Screwball AND Mothball; her role in my rewrite will be based very loosely on the role of Rosaline from Romeo and Juliet, and if I had to describe her personality it would be Angelica Schuyler/Isabela Madrigal. She holds herself to an extremely high standard and is considered by many to be far too selfless, just like her mother, and doesn't quite know what she wants to do with her life outside of being the crown princess of the crystal empire.

[zalrb]

Ohh I've always been curious about your take on the doctor who relationships but never asked cz I knew you didn't watch it. But I just saw your last ask on ElevenxAmy and now I'd love to know how you feel about ElevenxClara; especially since you've seen the "it's not a ghost story, it's a love story" episode!

Oh, I think I might like them! There aren't many full scenes of them on YouTube, which is annoying because what is the point but from what I have seen, they banter well, they riff off each other well i.e. the rhythm, the back-and-forth it isn't forced, it isn't staggered, she keeps up with him, they're evenly matched, they pop

they have a spark, it's very screwball comedy,

yeah, that's some chemistry

[askthediscordedcrusaders]

/ To explain the Screwball situation, she is Rarity's child in this story. Rarity just didn't know she existed. Discord fell for her first basically.

However, Discord fell harder for Fluttershy and then Fluttercord happened. In this, Screwball is Fluttershy's step-kid.

Hope that clears things up. If you have any questions, ask @ask-discorded-derpy. They'll clear anything up that I haven't that you're confused about since I don't want to spoil anything.

[david3096]

Before the day ends.

A new Parksborn fic is here!

I hope you enjoy it and have a happy new year 🧡

Peter doesn't know how he's going to fix this. He knows Harry will be furious and that scares him for two reasons. The first, because it is very difficult to make his best friend angry, the second, because this ruins the plan he had to confess how he feels about him.

Well, it's not a plan, it's more the idea of wanting to tell him, but still, now he'll have to apologize and try to fix everything. Plus the thought that Harry will want to stop being his friend is starting to get too strong.

He does his best to move faster, swinging through the city has never been so slow and stressful.

At least he's already heading towards the restaurant where the Osborns are having their party, that's a plus. The bad thing is that it's twenty past eleven at night and he's going to a New Year's Eve party.

The worst thing is that he was supposed to arrive at the Osborn's penthouse at five in the afternoon to play video games with Harry and get dressed up together, meet MJ at the restaurant that Norman rented and spend dinner together. Just like old times.

The unforgivable thing is that this is the fourth time this month that Peter has been late to an event that Harry invites him to.

First it was the movie Saturday that Harry organized just for the two of them. Then it was Friday at Coney Island, although at least that time MJ was able to cover him. Then it was Harry's birthday.

“Oh, damn.” He says aloud, he just remembered that he was also late for the cinema three days ago. In other words, this is now the fifth time he's been late with Harry. “If he didn't hate me before, he will now.”

It's not that he didn't want to be with Harry, on the contrary, it's all he really wants but it seems the criminals decided that the end of the year would be the perfect time to, well, commit crimes.

At least he got to spend New Year's Eve and Christmas with him. There was the original plan to confess his feelings, but he chickened out.

He sighs. He was just supposed to do a little patrol, make sure everything was in order. But a jewelry store robbery got messy, evolving into a carjacking and a crash and burn at a clothing store.

When all was in order he had to move quickly to another fire, now because of fireworks. He had to take three people to the nearest hospital. Then two children were lost and he reunited them with their parents.

And he realized it was almost seven o'clock. He took shelter on a rooftop and checked his phone.

He had lots of messages from Harry asking him if he was almost there, if he wanted pizza to eat, if something had happened to him. An emptiness formed in his stomach. He called him and Harry answered right away. He apologized and promised to be at the restaurant by eight-thirty or nine at the latest.

Harry told him it was okay. And the emptiness in his stomach got worse at that moment and it's getting worse with every passing second right now. Harry has never been so cold to Peter. Sure, his friend enjoys teasing him or saying hurtful things to each other from time to time, like any best friend would. But that seriousness is something that always terrifies him. It's when Harry ends up hiding things or isolating himself. It makes him think it could be the end of their friendship and what Peter wants is the opposite. He wants to love him and care for him with all his being.

He tries to take a deep breath and focus. Getting distracted was what made Taskmaster surprise him. It was a long and tiring fight. As usual he didn't tell him anything. Peter asked hundreds of questions, dodged as many punches and did his best moves. And as quickly as he appeared, Taskmaster was gone.

And before he could assimilate what was happening he got a call from Screwball. He was "inviting" him to a special end-of-year event. That's a funny way to call five bombs in important buildings and criminals trying to kill Spider-Man.

His heart stopped when he realized the time. He started swinging as fast as he could and despite that, he's still halfway there.

He doesn't know how he will fix this. He thinks the easiest way would be to finally confess to his best friend that he is Spider-Man. It's something he's wanted to do for a long time but he's terrified of it. Besides, while Peter is no expert at confessions, he's sure that one of those confessions would remove the importance of the other and that's exactly what he doesn't want. Both things are important, though he wants to prioritize his love for Harry, even though he doesn't know if it's the right choice.

“Man, I expected romantic life would be much simpler after fifteen.” After hearing his own voice he realizes how funny this is. He's in exactly the same situation he was in ten years ago. He's in love with his best friend, he wants to confess how he feels. He's Spider-Man and he wants to reveal his identity to him. And he does neither because he's a coward.

Before he can think anything else and make his anxiety rise, he sees the restaurant. He sighs in relief.

It's a strange place, at least to Peter. It pretends to be a castle or a bourgeois place, it is large, made of dark gray stones throughout. It's two floors and of course Norman rented the whole place for the party.

He hurries to get on the roof, a few days ago he left a hidden backpack to leave the black tuxedo Harry bought him and to leave the Spider-Man suit.

He undresses and gets dressed quickly. He notices that the clothes are a bit wrinkled, he assumes he has much bigger problems to worry about.

“He's not coming, is he?” Harry's voice makes him jump a little. He approaches the edge of the roof, crouching down. To his right, there's a really rather nice balcony. There's Harry and MJ. He's in his blue suit, leaning against the stone railing, looking out over the restaurant lawn that then leads to the parking lot. MJ is near him, only her right arm resting on the railing, wearing a wintry red dress and her hair in a ponytail and a bun.  

“He'll come, I can assure you.” MJ gives him a little squeeze on the shoulder.

“I feel like such an idiot right now.” Harry leans more against the railing, bows his head, covers the back of his neck with his hands. Peter can't see his expression very well but it's obvious he's having a hard time. “I should have done this months ago and not now.”

Do what? Peter wonders, moves a little closer, tries not to make noise. He doesn't know how morally good it is to be listening to this conversation, it's something Spider-Man does all the time but Peter, not so much.

“You're not an idiot, you're just in love.”

“You're the one who told me it was the same thing.” Harry straightens up, his back is to Peter, but he can hear his laugh, MJ smiles too. “It's obvious he's not interested in me, not like I am.”

“Really Osborn?” Now MJ pokes him in the shoulder. “I haven't spent the last ten years watching the two of you look at each other like you want to kiss each other out of existence for you to tell me you think Peter isn't in love with you.”

His heart stops for about five seconds, then races uncontrollably. Did he really just hear what he thinks he just heard?

“He doesn't look at me like that at all.”

“Oh really? I have proof, I already have a folder on my laptop exclusive to these moments for when you need them. You know, when you ask him to marry you or at your wedding, that sort of stuff.”

Harry laughs, but he hears sadness in his voice. It's all happening so fast he doesn't even know what the hell he's feeling. MJ looks up, he tries to hide but it's obvious she sees him. He sticks his head out again, his friend is still watching him. She motions with her hands for him to come down and help her with the situation.

“Look, how about I go see if Peter is downstairs. He may have already arrived and is looking for us.” Harry nods and focuses on looking at the sky, MJ winks at Peter and enters the restaurant through two huge glass doors, it has gold and square edges that make it look very elegant.

Peter walks down carefully, trying not to make noise and not to ruin the tuxedo either. He wonders if he should open and close the door for Harry to look at him, or cough, or just walk up to him, grab his face and kiss him like there's no tomorrow.

“Hi.” That's what he finally says, Peter smiles, feeling more nervous than ever. Harry gives a little jump and turns around slowly, as if he didn't believe he could be there. “Before you say anything, I want to tell you that I'm really really sorry and I'll do anything to make this right.”

“Anything?” He tells him in an almost seductive tone. But his friend folds his arms. “That will be very convenient when you have to get up to pick up the pizza every time we're at the penthouse.”

“I'll be happy to do it.” He takes a step, nervous. He still thinks this could go wrong in some way. It's just his luck, something bad always happens before something good. “Seriously Harry, I know I've been a really bad friend, you can get mad, yell at me, throw one of the vases that are inside at me, whatever.”

“Pete, I'm not mad.”

“You're not?”

“I'm not.”

“Come on, Harry, I know you.”

“Seriously Parker, I'm not mad.”

“Then why do you sound so mad?”

“Because you're exasperating!” Harry laughs, puts a hand on his waist and takes two steps towards him. “I hate it when you do that.”

“I'm sorry, but...”

“Wait, what time is it?” Harry doesn't wait for his answer, he looks at his watch. “Damn, I have less than five minutes to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Look, everything was going to be so much nicer and perfect. But you weren't on time and it's not a complaint, well, maybe a little but that's not the point.” Peter frowns, trying to understand what's going on, but is distracted when Harry comes closer. His navy blue suit, his also blue shirt but a lighter shade, his tie the same color  as the suit, his green eyes, his hair perfectly arranged, he wants to kiss him so bad.

“Well, you can complain.” He says, when he comes out of shock.

“I don't have time for that now.” Harry laughs. “I had it all planned out and had a speech written but.” His friend starts going through the pockets of his suit. “I can't find the damn paper, ugh, I'm making a fool of myself.”

“You're just with me, you're not making a fool of yourself.” Harry sighs, relaxed.

“Okay, I'll have to improvise.” Harry grabs his hands, he's cold. “You're my best friend Pete, no one knows me like you do. And I like to think no one knows you like I do.” Peter ignores the wave of guilt that sweeps through him. “You're handsome, smart, funny and...” Downstairs the guests start counting down to the end of the year. “Damn, ok, before the day is over, can I kiss you?”

Peter smiles and nods his head.

He closes his eyes, just as he starts to hear the fireworks, he feels Harry's hands on his waist and his lips on Peter's.

He starts to run his hands down Harry's back, he lightly bites his lip and doesn't stop kissing him. Peter feels breathless, but makes every effort to keep kissing him.

To be honest, he's surprised at how wild they're being, they don't care about the cold, or that the fireworks ended long ago, or that someone might be watching them. It's as if they're both hungry for each other, insatiable for the touch of their lips.

Finally Harry breaks the kiss and the first thing he does is start laughing. He joins his forehead to Peter's and he laughs too.

“Sorry for doing everything so fast.”

“Sorry for being late and make you do this fast.”

“Oh, wait.” Harry doesn't stop holding him, but pulls his face away to look at him. “I forgot the important part. I like you Pete, well, more than that. I love you and I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Well, I love you too, and I want to be your boyfriend.” Harry smiles and moves in for a kiss, but Peter stops him. “But, you're still not asking me.”

“Really Pete?”

“Hey, I've fantasized about that since we were 15, I want you to ask.” What happens to Harry's face is indescribable, he goes through so many emotions, but in the end his face is so sweet and his smile so big that they make Peter fall a little more in love.

“Ok, Pete, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Only if you are my boyfriend.” Harry laughs and kisses him again and all his worries disappear.

This is definitely the best New Year's Eve party he hasn't attended.

[cassies-confectionary]

It's getting pretty stormy outside, might have to close up soon if it's gonna rain for the rest of the day, also some robot rushed in, i gave him a coloring page and some crayons, he wanted stickers but instead of putting them on the drawing he put them on himself

I asked for his name and he didn't have one but he said his friends called him a loose screw, so I'm calling him screwball, mainly because he's silly like that

(creator's note, i made some small stickers and actually put them on him, used real crayons for the drawing)

[rustbeltjessie]

for the asks: 1, 5, 16?

1: What did you dream about last night?

I don't remember any dreams from last night. The last dream I really remember was last week, I dreamt that my partner had amnesia and didn't know who I was.

5: Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

Bringing Up Baby. That kind of vintage screwball comedy always gets to me, and Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant are just so perfect in it.

16: Where do you feel most at home?

In my house, specifically in my office/studio/everything room. Driving on Highway 32. In my bestie's apartment. On the train between Wisconsin and Chicago.

[quirkle2]

Throwing the asks back to you!

Fic ask

3, 12, 19, 21, 24,30!

(also always feel free to not do all of them if that is a lot!)

hello friend :]!!

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

HRRMMMMM i think my fav scene is from recondite. im pretty sure i've already posted a snippet here of it but it's teru and mob arguing >:) that's coming soon...

12. favorite character to write about this year

mob i think, but ritsu is a pretty close second. kinda obsessed w that little freak

19. any new fics to start next year

i RLY wanna write a fic that explores the direct aftermath of the mogami arc, and what it means for mob and ritsu's relationship, cuz there are some rly interesting tidbits in the mogami arc, especially in the manga, that i've been wanting to explore

21. most memorable comment/review

the essays i get r truly the best ones i get so giddy abt them but i will admit this one here has stayed in my brain since it was sent it'sso funny

24. favorite fic you read this year

HMMMMMM god i can't even decide on one singular fic .. i'll give u a couple

Lens by BeyondTheClouds777 — this fic is what inspired some of recondite ! mogami aftermath where the wounds mob got there start showing up irl

promenade sentimentale by dontrollthedice — Beautiful fic abt mob falling in love w classical music. features a twist i rly liked

screwball by toyotas — baseball au ! amazingly well written, and there r a lot of nods to canon events that are rly rly cute n clever. didn't know anything abt baseball when i clicked on this fic and still had an amazing time reading it. characterization is phenomenal too

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

mob psycho prolly, i don't think i read much of anything else tbh

[ask game]

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Rose Lalonde

Act 2, page 442

GG: hi happy birthday rose!!! <3

TT: Hello, and thanks.

GG: did you get johns present yet?

TT: I just opened it this very moment. What a stunning coincidence you would ask about it now. I am stunned.

GG: yeah i know!!

GG: what will you make with it?

TT: And who said it was something from which something else could be made?

GG: well john did tell me what it was duh.....

TT: I suppose I'll take a stab at learning the craft.

TT: It's the least I can do in response to the subtle dig concealed in his gesture.

TT: He often tells me I "need a new hobby" when I make perfectly reasonable analytical remarks.

GG: oh but rose i dont think he meant anything like that by it!!

GG: you see not everybody always means the opposite of what they say the way you and dave always do

TT: Maybe.

TT: His birthday is in a few months, isn't it?

GG: yep!

GG: i finally finished a present for him

GG: ive been working on it for years!!!!

TT: Years?

TT: It's so hard to tell when you're joking.

TT: Or if you're even capable of it.

GG: heheheh.... :)

GG: i just mailed it too so it is sure to get there on time

GG: mail takes a while to get anywhere from here!!!

TT: I'll probably craft something with strong sentimental value.

TT: That should burn him.

GG: i dont think you really mean that!

TT: I guess not.

TT: So, shall I expect a green package dropped to my house via airmail from whatever screwball cranny of the globe you're tucked into?

GG: err.......

GG: no :(

GG: sorry but you are sort of hard shop for <_<

GG: besides i have something for you today that i think you will like better than some thing in a box!

TT: Oh?

GG: it is a tip!!!!

TT: This is already intriguing enough to compensate for the grave scarcity of lavish gifts parachuting from the sky. Please go on.

GG: did you have a pet a long time ago that died?

TT: Yes.

GG: ok well how did you feel about your cat, did you love him a lot?

TT: "ok well", I didn't mention it was a cat, or that it was a male. Let's pretend I'm surprised and you're embarrassed and move on.

TT: To answer your question, I would describe my feelings toward the animal as lukewarm.

GG: ummmmm ok....

GG: thats fine!!!

GG: it doesnt really matter i think, just.....

GG: what if someone told you you could play a game that would bring him back to life?

TT: If someone told me that, I would regard the remark with a great deal of skepticism.

TT: If that someone was you, on the other hand, then I would have to ask preemptively:

TT: Is that someone you?

GG: yes that someone is me!!!!!!!!

GG: i just thought you might find it interesting

TT: So what is this game?

GG: oh i dont know

GG: im just saying is all

GG: i think youll hear about it later and maybe you can talk to john and dave about it

GG: they are way more into all that stuff than i am!!!!

TT: I'll see what the word on the street is about it. In due time.

TT: For now I should probably order a copy of Knitting for Assholes. It would be a shame if I ran late with John's present.

[spikecord-asks-and-headcanons]

Me: Yknow I should probably write some fluffy, innocent Spikecord to offset all the SIN I've been churning out

My darker self wearing a cloak: Write a sugar daddy au where spike needs tuition money so screwball sends him a link to a compensated dating website and unintentionally hooks him up with her eccentric, wealthy father

Me: Why the fuck would i do that I have like 4 unfinished stories still-

My darker self: It will help you explore the ins an outs of power dynamics, older/younger relationships, and the subject of enthusiastic consent. Now shut up and start writing, hoe.

Me: .......*opens up Word and sighs*

[moonsdancer]

we need to talk about meljayvik...

(and yes, that's what we're calling it, i roundly reject 'jayvikmel' because it sounds like mel's an afterthought to jayvik and fails to acknowledge that jayce is the hinge of this triad and always has been)

the way the show handed this ot3 to the fandom on a silver, nay, a golden platter is kind of delightful to me. from before the trial, viktor investigating jayce's confiscated research and then stealing his notebooks from heimerdinger's storage because there's something there, something that could possibly change the world, something that could help be more than just a mere assistant, something could maybe even save him, and he wants to get to the bottom of it. mel asking elora for detailed intelligence on the upcoming trial, who is this talis guy, oh, from a lower house, intriguing, and he's heimerdinger's favourite, hmmm, curious...? from her first scene, we learn she wants to put her support behind something truly revolutionary, something that will put piltover on the map, that will change everything, she's searching for it and is yet to find it.

it's no accident that mel just happened to be sauntering outside heimerdinger's office where she knows talis' forbidden research was stored - in hindsight it's highly comical that this very important council woman was just hanging out there, in the middle of the night, with a torch. it's viktor who convinces jayce to go to heimerdinger's office to steal the research, jayce is initially scared to buck the council's edicts lol. so of course, the three of them run into each other there like characters in a screwball comedy, and it's the first time they join forces in pursuit of a common, shared goal.

early interpretations of that scene outside heimerdinger's office were so intent on placing mel in opposition to jayce and viktor. it didn't make sense then, and it doesn't make sense now.

these three are just really intriguingly and wonderfully effective when they're working towards a shared purpose, bringing to bear their different selves to make things happen. it's jayce's brash sense of vision and capacity to imagine the impossible; it's viktor's gritty determination to see things through in the face of insurmountable obstacles and firm sense of principles; it's mel's canny political skills and capacity to mobilise power and people - all brought together to bring about good. they're so much better when they're working together.

a golden trio, methinks.