#sebastian try not to be gay challenge (impossible)

[sebastianthemadlad]

No one:

Resident Evil 4 mods:

Leon: Ashley:

Edit: I want to make it clear I am a dude so stop commenting and reposting "Oh my gawd yes queen finally us girls are getting fanservice💅🏻" its getting on my nerves, you guys should know by now that men who are attracted to other men exist, you should also know how to read, my username literally says "Sebastian" and "lad" 2 words that make it obvious I am male, most of you guys are the type of people who say you shouldn't assume someones gender then go ahead and do that, bloody hypocrites

(also if you looked at the tags you'd see many of them reference me being gay)

[madlysage]

my stardew valley bachelorette headcanons… again super niche and definitely just me being insufferable

leah

- grew up in the south and still has a little twang when she speaks

- loves fleetwood mac and all 70s rock

- tried to make her own wine and elliott made harvey give her a stern lecture on botulism

- a serial dater with a string of bad ex-boyfriends in her wake (she was just a lesbian all along but that wasn’t accepted where she was growing up)

- a baby gay who still gets flustered when flirting with girls

- befriended the hat mouse and is still trying to convince elliott that he’s real

- dyes her hair but insists she’s a natural redhead (her mom was one and she always wanted to emulate her)

i always picture kennedy walsh (icon that she is)

haley

- the closet is glass babe (lesbian/possibly pan)

- wanted to go to college for photography and studio art but was worried it would put financial strain on emily

- secret little crush on leah because she loves her art and her artistic eye

- her and emily were raised by a single dad who passed away unexpectedly- it’s part of the reason she has a hard time opening up to ppl

- left anonymous mean notes about clint on the town message board for WEEKS after she found out he was hitting on emily

- uses her dad’s camera: it’s very sentimental to her

perf- would def be into clean girl makeup

emily

- nobody is quite sure about emily’s sexuality… including emily!

- very into spirituality- crystals, spirits, astrology, luck etc.

- makes alex uncomfortable anytime he comes over: she doesn’t realize she’s starting contentious political debates with him

- makes all her own clothes and hasn’t bought anything new in 3 years

- writes sweet notes to shane on the bar napkins when she can see he’s rlly going through it

- wears crystals in her bras

- stole haley’s diamond earrings for a gem mediation (it did not go over well)

- makes elliott quills with her parrot’s dropped feathers

but picture the hair blue ya know: don’t cast elle fanning as a character in a fandom challenge level impossible bro

penny

- bicon

- my image of penny is Filipino… stardew needs more diversity gonna be so real

- went to college for education and got her teaching license but had to move back home because of the debt

- learned how to do maru’s hair after she complained about how long it took

- watches old movies with maru every weekend and they do a book swap once a month

- sam is the only one who will eat her cooking (but he’ll eat anything… especially if penny made it)

- lets maru come in and give guest teaching sessions in science and math to jas and vincent

-started drinking coffee just to have an excuse to drop some off to maru and harvey at work

likeeeee beabadoobee just makes the perf penny i can’t explain it’s the vibe

maru

- lesbian queen

- my autistic love

- graduated highschool early: got a full ride to school and double majored in nursing and engineering before going to nursing school (graduated early from that too ofc)

- lives off of coffee and gets a daily lecture on caffeine consumption from harvey

- is harvey’s wingman (neither of them have any rizz…)

- goes to the bar just to quiz emily on astrology

- sets up ferris beuller type traps when she wants to sneak out and not deal with demetrius

-used to sneak into sebastian’s room during thunderstorms and still does sometimes

laura harrier my love my light… just picture her with glasses

abigail

- straight but likes to makeout with girls when she’s drunk

- goes to college online (majoring in business for pierre but double minoring in classics and anthropology) - her parents wouldn’t let her go in person because she’s too “reckless”

- brought home a squirrel once and hid it in her room for weeks

-used to do competitive irish dance as a kid (seems like something caroline would make her do)

- has a huge crush on sam and will flirt with sebastian to make him jealous

- pierced her own ears six times at once and made caroline faint when she saw her

- has a tattoo on her thigh that’s she’s desperately hiding from her parents

-helped emily dye her hair for the first time

- hooked up with alex once but will never admit it

can’t explain it she just gives kiernan - with purple hair ofc

[kurts-still-here]

Don’t You Want Me Baby Glee TOT Challenge FanFiction

@celery-elliry @useless-fanfictions @gleethisorthatchallenge

Hi everyone, this is my first fic for the Glee TOT Challenge and the prompt I choose was Accidental Sexual Tension because it was perfect for Kurtbastian which is my OTP. Hope everyone enjoys and tells me what they thought of it etheir on here, A03 OR FanFictionNet. Happy reading 🤗🤗😁😁

Archive Of Our Own

FanFiction.Net

“I hate you,” Kurt sneered at Sebastian from across the table.

“I hate you too,” Sebastian snapped back.

“You make me sick,” Kurt retorted. “I’m gonna puke,”

“Good,” Sebastian rolled his eyes, “It’ll ruin that god awful outfit you’re wearing. Don’t you realize you’re a boy?”

“Fashion has no gender. Besides I’ll have you know that my “god awful” outfits get a lot of attention from people. I wish I could say the same for you,”

“Hey, I happen to get a lot of attention from guys,” Sebastian defended.

“I don’t mean sex and hook-ups Sebastian,”

“Oh you so wish you were me. My hook-ups are amazing,”

“Thank god I’ll never found out for myself,”

“You’re such a prude,”

“Meerkat,”

“Priss,”

“Craigslist,”

“I don’t even know what that is so ha,” Sebastian said, crossing his arms and sounding like a child.

“Well then let me add idiot to the list,” Kurt said back.

“You guys,” Blaine yelled at the two boys. Kurt and Sebastian snapped out of their feud with one another to realize that they were still in the choir room and that everyone was staring at them with their jaws dropped and their eyes wide. “You two are supposed to be getting along,”

Ever since Sebastian had transferred to McKinley, the tension between him and Kurt grew and now it was unbearable for the rest of the New Directions. Any chance they got they both went at each other and they both just had to have the last word so they wouldn’t stop until someone butt in and took them away from each other.

It got so bad that Santana and Blaine had betted them that they couldn’t go a day without insulting each other and if there was anything that the two boys hated more than each other, it was being proved wrong. So they had accepted the bet and they had actually been doing pretty good, even complimenting each other, even though their intentions weren’t sincere. But no one knew what had happened between them now because here they were fighting again and this time it was even worse than their previous matches.

“It’s impossible Blaine,” Kurt said, gesturing over to Sebastian. “He’s completely intolerable. I don’t care about the bet anymore, I simply can’t be nice to him,”

“Me neither,” Sebastian pouted “Princess over here is ridiculous,”

“Don’t call me that, my name is Kurt,”

“I’ll call you whatever I want, babe ,” Sebastian said, teasing Kurt with the word “babe,”.

Kurt gasped like Sebastian had just said a homophobic slur and put his hand over his chest. “Don’t call me that, Smythe,”

“Oh come on, you love it,” Sebastian continued to tease. “Just admit it, you’d love to get up on this. I’d rock your little, gay world with all the rainbows and the unicorns,”

“Never,” Kurt huffed, shaking his head, “In your wildest dreams,”

“You’re blushing,” Sebastian said, walking towards Kurt, getting closer and closer. Kurt was indeed blushing but he wasn’t going to admit it.

“It’s hot in here,” was the best excuse he came up with but he knew he wasn’t convincing enough.

“Is it because you’re nervous?” Sebastian asked him, a smile playing on his lips. “Cause you don’t have to be nervous, babe ,”

“I’m not nervous,” Kurt said a little too quickly. “Why are you looking at me like that? Stop walking towards me,”

“Come one Kurt,” Sebastian said, now standing arms length away from him. “Why do you think I’m always trying to rile you up? You’re hot when you’re all angry and prissy. Don’t you like me back,”

Kurt shook his head even though he was starting to think that maybe he did like Sebastian. He wasn’t ugly or anything, maybe he was even handsome. But there was more to a guy than looks and Sebastian’s personality was a big problem. He was arrogant and obnoxious and selfish and he wasn’t funny and he had so many flaws but yet Kurt almost found him… charming. Wait, was he falling for Sebastian? The person who was number one on his list of people to one day humiliate and show up. The person that he had bickered with since the moment they had met each other. He was, wasn’t he?

“You do,” Sebastian continued. “I know you do. Give me a chance and you won’t regret it,”

“I have a feeling I will,” Kurt said, starting to get nervous. Was he going to kiss him? Was he going to ask him out? Were they going to date? Him and Sebastian, what would people think of him being with such a manwhore?

“I’ll prove it to you,” Sebastian said, leaning into Kurt's face. “Kiss me or let me kiss you,”

“No,” Kurt said, trying to move away but Sebastian held his grasp on his wrist. It wasn’t like when Karofsky had kissed him, that was rough and tight but Sebastian’s grasp was almost comforting, soft and light.

“Come one Kurt,” Finn said, encouraging his brother to kiss Sebastian.

“You know you want to, Princess,” Puck shouted over to him.

“Kiss your man boo,” Mercedes smiled over to him and he gave a tight smile back. He was nervous, which was saying something about how much power Sebastian had over him. He was always getting into arguments with him even though he hated the fighting and here he was now, making his heart beat fast and his knees feel shaky. Did he want to kiss Sebastian and did he want Sebastian to kiss him? Yes, he thinks he does.

So he stood up on his toes since Sebastian was much taller than him, wrapped his arms around his neck and brought him closer to himself before kissing him on the lips. It was just supposed to be a small peck on the lips but once Kurt pressed his lips to Sebastian’s they both deepened the kiss and Kurt didn’t want to stop. Sebastian was right when he said that Kurt wouldn’t regret his decision and he was glad that he gave him a chance.

But now he was worried that Sebastian was just using him so he could have a perfect record of sleeping with every gay man in Ohio and that once they had slept together that Sebastian would leave him. Kurt was a romantic, he didn’t do one-night stands or hook ups. He did flowers and candle light dinners or evening strolls. And now having realized his feelings for the boy, he didn’t know if he should go further and risk being disappointed or if he should just accept the kiss and think nothing of it.

They stayed with their lips attached to each other for a few moments more before Kurt gently pulled away, out of breath and still blushing. Sebastian just gave him a true, genuine smile so he smiled back while everyone else in the room broke out into applause and catcalling. They all guessed that this meant no more fighting between the two and they were ecstatic.

“So,” Sebastian asked, “Did you regret it?”

“I don’t think so,” Kurt admitted. “It actually felt nice,”

“Told ya so,” Sebastian teased him, tapping Kurt on his nose. “So what time should I pick you up?

“Pick me up?” Kurt asked, already knowing what Sebastian was talking about but not fully  understanding.

“Yeah, for our date,” Sebastian said, casually. “I’ll take you to dinner,”

“A date?” Kurt breathed. They were dating. He was going on a date with Sebastian. What had happened to fighting and bickering?

“Yeah, ya know, two people who like each other go out with one another to dinner or a movie and they get to each other,” Sebastian explained, making Kurt roll his eyes. He knew what a date was.

“I know,” Kurt said and was about to say something sarcastic but bit his tongue and instead said, “That sounds fun. Pick me up at seven?”

“Of course, babe ,” Sebastian said and Kurt’s heart swelled with the nickname. Sebastian kissed him on the cheek and took his hand before leading him over to Blaine and Santana, probably to brag about how they had stopped fighting. Kurt was glad.

[ollyarchive]

Olly Alexander: ‘I want to make the community proud. I don’t know if I've always got it right’

By

David Levesley

As Ritchie Tozer in Russell T Davies’ devastating 1980s-set drama It's A Sin, Olly Alexander told a story from a tragically formative decade in gay history. As himself and as frontman of synthpop trio Years & Years, he contributes to a new narrative. But, as he reveals here, the insecurities and anxieties written into minority identities are not just a personal challenge: they can shape stories told by, for and about all his peers

It is the afternoon before It’s A Sin is broadcast to the nation and its star, 30-year-old musician and actor Olly Alexander, is buying a cat cushion. “It’s for a friend!” he says, mortified to be caught in the act of buying a plush feline.

Where once being the star of a primetime Channel 4 drama might mean greenrooms, watch parties and a celebratory afters, this is January 2021, so a flame-haired Alexander is sitting in his kitchen, drinking a smoothie the exact same lilac as his top.

“I’ve had a lot of restless energy,” he says, having binge-watched The Real Housewives Of New York City in between doing lots of squats and “watching homoerotic YouTube workout videos”. It’s not quite the normal build-up to a game-changing drama, but is there a better way to remember peacetime than watching a show filled with period pieces such as “friends drink indoors” or “strangers have guiltless sex at a house party”? It’s A Sin is both a masterpiece and a reminder that someday we will, once again, be able to be eaten out by hot men. “You’re so welcome,” Alexander says, laughing. “If I can bring anything to the British public, it’s a lesson in anal hygiene.”

Anal hygiene are two words we have probably never published together in GQ, but, more importantly, are probably not the subject of many – if any! – scenes in a piece of media not uploaded to OnlyFans. They are, however, the subject of a crucial scene in the first episode of It’s A Sin, in which Alexander’s character – an 18-year-old fledgling queer from the Isle Of Wight called Ritchie Tozer – gets rimmed by his campus crush, Ash Mukherjee (Nathaniel Curtis). No gay men watching came out of that scene not feeling seen and, like all the other sex scenes in It’s A Sin, it feels deeply realistic and fantastically homosexual.

“I can tell you I’ll never forget being practically butt-naked with my arse in the air in front of colleagues,” says Alexander, laughing. But by that point, he says, he had done so many sex scenes that it felt somewhat rote. “‘Ritchie’s got a dirty bum! Stick that arse in the air and look disappointed!’” What was interesting, he says, was the dynamic of trying to produce the most authentically gay experiences possible on camera.

‘WE UNDERSTOOD THESE CHARACTERS WITH A KIND OF SHORTHAND THAT GAY PEOPLE UNDERSTAND’

They were working with Ita O’Brien – a movement director and arguably the OG intimacy coordinator – but, for her sins, not a gay man. So while everyone would have an input in how a sex scene would be best shot, “There came a point when they would say, ‘Please tell us, because we’re not gay men.’” So then the writer, the performers, the director and O’Brien’s team would come to a consensus on how to make a threesome look like three men shagging, yet also make it look the best it could on camera and make sure “you never touch each other’s genitals, basically”.

Alexander says O’Brien’s input was a “lifesaver” for him on set. Although by the end he felt comfortable, he was at first intimidated by just how exposing this would be. “I had a bit of a hysterical breakdown. I was really worried I couldn’t do it. I just didn’t feel safe.” This was interesting to hear from Alexander, the proudly queer frontman of the band Years & Years, who “spent four years on the road performing and finding this character that I do feel sexy in”. It was then that O’Brien and the team asked him to bring whatever made him feel comfortable on stage into the room before the cameras rolled. “So I would sing before the takes, be a little bit of Olly on stage,” he says, laughing. “That was my way of tricking my brain and thinking it was a character. Which, of course, it was.”

Before he was Olly Alexander, consummate gamine artiste, Olly Alexander Thornton was a singled-out kid at a primary school in Gloucestershire (where his mother ran a music festival). He was, like many other gay kids growing up, bullied and harassed for being something “other”, which everyone is able to see long before you can define it yourself. “I remember being in primary school and I had long hair and people would call me a girl,” he says, and the wound still feels raw when he recounts it.

“I knew that was bad for boys. I didn’t like the things that other boys liked: I just wanted to play with the girls and watch Disney movies. Which obviously straight boys do as well,” he mentions, always making sure to provide caveats to include all facets of the human experience. Although the bullying began to subside by secondary school in Monmouthshire, he still stood out: he had big curly hair – “I was trying to hide my ears” – and would wear make-up or a choker sometimes on nonuniform days. “I think I was trying to figure out who I was,” he says. “Imagine getting to discover your own sexuality without any preconceived ideas! I mean, maybe that’s impossible. But it would be nice, right? Why should people bullying you be your first brush with your own sexuality?”

Like Ritchie Tozer, Alexander moved to London at 18 to pursue acting, but he also had designs on becoming a musician. “Because when you’re writing a song, you’re the director, the star, the producer, the writer. I wanted all of that! I needed that to be able to express myself,” he proclaims with faux hysteria. For years he found success as an actor in a diverse selection of roles: he appeared in Gaspar Noé’s Enter The Void, costarred with seemingly every other white British actor in The Riot Club and also in God Help The Girl, a musical film written by Belle And Sebastian’s Stuart Murdoch. “Then Years & Years just got to a place where it was going to take over and needed my full time,” Alexander says. So his focus moved to the music.

‘IMAGINE DISCOVERING YOUR SEXUALITY WITHOUT ANY PRECONCEIVED IDEAS!’

It was on their third single, “Real” – released in 2014 – that Alexander first felt his art and his sexuality really intermingle. “It was the first time I put in a male pronoun – I say ‘Do it, boy’ – and it’s quite subtle, but it was a big deal for me at the time.” This was when Years & Years were trying to get signed to a major label, so doing something so consciously queer felt like a risk (the band went on to sign with Polydor later that year).

While pop music has long had an element of queerness about it – you need only look at the artists featured in It’s A Sin to see how gay 1980s pop was – Alexander has long been frank that sexuality and success are not always seen as natural bedfellows. At a Stonewall event in 2018 he recounted being told during his media training, “Maybe it’s better not to say anything about your sexuality at all.” In the same year, he told NME there had been progress, but that “I just know there are people who are hiding their sexuality, so it’s still not gone completely”.

Alexander doubled down on it with the music video – featuring his Bright Star costar Ben Whishaw – where he “purposefully made it gay. There’s a cruising element to the very beginning. It’s slightly ambiguous, though, because back then I wasn’t quite ready to launch into being the gay crusader I think I am now.” In 2015 the band won the BBC’s Sound Of 2015 poll, releasing their first album, Communion, the same year. It became 2015’s fastest-selling debut album from a UK-signed band.

‘I JUST WATCHED LIAM PAYNE TAKE HIS TOP OFF, BUT NOW I’M NOT ALLOWED TO?’

But despite the success, and the realisation that audiences were either supportive of – or simply unfazed by – the queerness of Years & Years’ music, there is always an anxiety for Alexander about just how accepting people are willing to be. “I’ll tell you for real,” says Alexander, “I go out on stage – even if it’s for our own audience – and I’m like, ‘What if some of them don’t like me? What if some of them have an issue with me today?’ I always feel like I’m going to try a bit harder next time, try to do a bit more.”

While the character of “Olly Alexander, Years & Years frontman” is one that bespangles its performer with confidence, being queer in the music industry isn’t always an easy thing to navigate. He remembers seeing a tweet from someone who said Alexander’s sexuality was a ruse to try to attract the pink pound – a term for the spending power of gay men – “And it had an impact on me, because I’ve consciously tried to [be openly gay] in a lot of circumstances where I wouldn’t normally. And then for someone...” He tries to think of how to put it and comes up short. “It can chip away at you.”

He wouldn’t change a thing about his success, he says, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when it isn’t hard to be out and proud while also getting your foot in the door. “When we’re playing a pop music festival, I’m looking at the other acts in the lineup and there aren’t that many gay people on them,” he says. “You see how quickly your show isn’t family friendly any more because I want to take my top off and I’m like, ‘Well, I just watched Jason Derulo and Liam Payne take their tops off and have all these women in underwear, but now I’m not allowed?’ What do you do with that?”

It’s A Sin marks a return to acting but, also, a chance to refresh Alexander’s musical batteries too. Following Years & Years’ second album – 2018’s Palo Santo – the third album was proving hard to pin down. “I’ve been trying to make this album for about 18 months at this point, stopping and starting, listening to all the songs and... it’s just not feeling relevant any more.” Alexander had always loved Russell T Davies’ work, so when he heard Davies was making a new TV show he “had to be in it. I would just jump at the chance to work with him. And that was before I read the script.” Years & Years had just finished touring Palo Santo and, to Alexander, it felt like the stars had aligned.

While the anxiety of performing queer sex scenes might have been particularly exposing for a gay man like Alexander, there were huge benefits for him being in a cast and crew that were predominantly LGBTQ+. “It was a revelation. I’ve never been on a set with so many queer people. I’ve never even worked with a gay director, so it was a completely new experience.” Plus, being asked to play part of a group of gay best friends, portrayed predominantly by gay actors, meant the chemistry came very quickly: “We understood these characters [with a] kind of shorthand that gay people understand.”

An inclusive, comfortable environment was beneficial for more than just sex scenes and simulating a decade of friendship. It’s A Sin also required its cast to grapple with the issue of HIV and aids, not just as a part of the furniture – as we do in the 21st century, with our knowledge of viral loads, sleeping with undetectable partners and new medications such as Prep – but really putting a forgotten part of British queer history under the lens, who it affected and how it changed the LGBTQ+ community irrevocably. “It’s an issue that is deeply surrounded by stigma and there’s a lot of trauma there and a lot of fear,” Alexander explains. “I know, personally, it was an area that I was scared to really engage with.”

He mentions that just before filming he made friends with an older gay couple at his gym and in talking about the show with them he was offered a rare opportunity to hear about personal experiences of the aids crisis. “It can be so difficult as a gay person to feel like you have intergenerational support,” says Alexander. “Elders are so important in our community. You can get so much from the people who have gone through so much before and fought that fight.”

For Alexander and the cast, It’s A Sin was a rare opportunity: a chance to be brought together with a whole group of men and women who were there at the time and who were willing to share their experiences with them. “I feel so lucky that I got to engage with that and keep learning. I was just scratching the surface and there are so many stories you can tell from this period. It’s impacted us all the way until now and it will in the future.”

Starring in It’s A Sin has also changed what Years & Years’ third album is going to sound like. After the initial writer’s block, Alexander says, he focused instead on the music of the show (Bronski Beat, Kelly Marie, the titular song by Pet Shop Boys) “and it really took my mind back to the club” – especially in the midst of a pandemic, when the queer nightlife venues that are the backbone of our community are so desperately missed.

“All the music I wanted to listen to in lockdown was high energy. It was dance floor. It was club music.” This was the music that had played such a huge role in his early life in London, had inspired the first Years & Years album and a genre that owes a great debt to the LGBTQ+ community. “I think at their heart, lots of these songs are about joy despite crushing pain. I just thought, ‘God, imagine hearing “I Feel Love” on the dance floor for the first time.’ What a transcendent experience that would be.”

‘ELDERS ARE SO IMPORTANT IN OUR COMMUNITY. YOU CAN GET SO MUCH FROM THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE FOUGHT THAT FIGHT’

And so Alexander went into the studio – as soon as it was safe to do so – and created a bunch of new songs. Is it easy to find collaborators behind the scenes who get it when he says, “I want it to feel like Britney meets Rihanna meets Hot Chip via New Order”?

“It can be a challenge to find someone that really understands,” admits Alexander. He recalled being sent round the songwriters and producers in Los Angeles that all artists are sent round at a certain point, “And some of those people are amazing – some amazing queer people as well – but predominantly... You know, they’re straight, so it can be quite challenging.”

Feeling safe with his collaborators hasn’t been an easy journey, but now he’s in a good place for it. He also pointed out that it’s not just queers who can understand his vision: his bandmates are straight, he points out – “I really believe in working with straight people! Some of my best friends are straight!” – and his frequent collaborator, the producer Mark Ralph, “is a real ally to us gays”, who was always willing to vibe along to Paris Hilton singles with him.

A new sound – a queerer sound – isn’t just a risk in a world where Alexander’s performances are held to double standards and the linchpins of queer culture can still be seen as synonymous with perversion. The impossible standards queer work is held to don’t just come from the straight world: gay men can be terrible recipients of work designed for them too.

Russell T Davies has dealt with it his entire career: “There’s the problem of lack of representation, but there’s the problem that when you are represented, it’s just not seen,” he explained when I spoke to him recently. “You just learn to cope. I worry about it. I probably worry about it more than I say here, but at the end of the day it’s never stopped me writing the next thing.” But he gets it because he, too, is a gay man who consumes art and he sees the same biases coming out when he watches other queer-centric work.

Yet he was amazed that artists younger than him are still dealing with the same crises: “It’s what comes with being a minority. It’s what comes of oppression and you kind of expect this to pass. But then you talk to young people like Olly, who’s a different generation from me, and you find them thinking the same things,” Davies said. “I was lucky to have my training during an age when you’d be lucky to get one review in the Times. Now you live in a world of reviewers.”

When I ask Alexander if he worries how gay men will respond to a gay artist’s work, it is no easier for him to respond than it was for Davies. “Oh, God, you’re making my heart race now,” he says, breathless. “I should be careful, because I don’t want to demonise anybody. But I tried to really unpack this myself and... I’ll just sort of say it.” It is clear that this is intense for him: his eyes are looking watery as he tries to phrase it delicately.

“I have this – I think irrational – anxiety about gay men tearing me down. And I tried to interrogate that within myself and I think it’s complicated, because a lot of it has to do with internalised phobias and shame, about how I see myself versus how other people see me.” He begins to cry. “What I do know is that I want them to not hate me. And I want to make the community proud. It’s been at the heart of pretty much every decision I’ve ever made. And I don’t know if I’ve always got it right.”

‘I HAVE THIS – I THINK IRRATIONAL – ANXIETY ABOUT GAY MEN TEARING ME DOWN’

It’s tough being an actor asked to shed light and humanity on a complex phase in British LGBTQ+ history; it’s just as tough to be a gay man trying to make pop music that speaks to the queer experience. But Alexander is doing both and, what’s more, he’s being unapologetically queer in the public eye. There aren’t many LGBTQ+ people in the position Alexander is in and it must be exhausting, I suggest, to be expected to speak for the needs and fears of an entire spectrum of sexual and gender identities. After all, he’s just one man who wants to be proud of who he is. “Sometimes, when I feel the most anxious, I have a voice in my head that goes, ‘Oh, Olly, why on earth did you put yourself in this position? You really are not the strong person people think you are.’” But, he says, he is learning he can’t speak for everyone, even if people expect it of him.

Instead, he’s focusing on being proud of what he’s done – the visibility, the audacity, the bravery – rather than the critique of his anxieties or Twitter trolls. “I’m always thinking about me as a teenager and how I’m creating the person I wanted to be in the world. I’m actually doing it! Holy fuck!”

[kurtbastian-land]

Hi! I'm currently on Kurtbastian fics binge read, so I was wondering if you could share your 10 favourites?

Wow, my top 10 favorites. That’s going to a tough one. I’m obviously going to skip the major well-known ones that this fandom knows - A Change In The Weather - cacophony, Don’t You Remember -  discordandrhythm and Glad You Came - daftydraw and JWMelmoth. With that being said, any other stories from that authors are bangers as well! But off to the actual list (in no particular order)

TOP 10 KURTBASTIAN FICS (MULTI-CHAPTERED, COMPLETED)

1. Europe Is Our Playground [Explicit] - GlassParade

Summary: Eight years and half the world away from home, a chance encounter in a Paris club leads Kurt and Sebastian - each running from the ghosts of their pasts - into the diversion of chasing each other across Europe.

2. A Shot In the Arm [Explicit] - somebetterwords

Summary: Kurt Hummel was a catch. Kurt was a catch, and Santana didn’t know what she was talking about. That’s what he’d tell himself until he believed it. But actually, talk was cheap. Kurt was going to go out and dangle himself at the gayest nightclub in the tri-county area and watch the men clamour to catch him. He wasn’t having a slutty meltdown or anything. His self esteem was not dependent on the attentions and opinions of strangers. He just needed an ego boost, one single night of his life for recalibration and encouragement from unbiased observers and also drinks. He just needed… a shot in the arm.(Though it wasn’t exactly a needle he was looking to stick in himself, and he didn’t want it going in his arm either.)

3. Live Without Shame / Call Me Anything You Want [Teen and Up Audiences] - Walden_pond313

Summary: Kurt is fed up with being heartbroken or disappointed when it comes to guys. Maybe it's time for some fun... / Sequel to Live Without Shame. Basically, season 2 if Kurt/Blaine never happened

4. Barista Confessions [Explicit] - TheFirstMrsHummel 

Summary: Unsure of his future following graduation, Kurt finds the status quo impossible to maintain. And when Sebastian Smythe comes crashing back into his life, it gets even more complicated. PLEASE NOTE NOT KLAINE/BLAINE FRIENDLY

5. The Boys of Summer [Mature] - MoreThanTonight

Summary: A camera. A jacket pin. A phone. Lemon balm leaves. A bottle cap. A box of condoms. A bottle of sleeping pills. On the last days of summer before college, Sebastian remembers the most eventful summer of his life and the items related to it. Kurtbastian.

6. Before You Met Me [General Audiences] - ellodoctor

Summary: When Kurt goes to Dalton to spy, he meets Sebastian Smythe who then points out lead singer Blaine Anderson, his latest “goal.” After Kurt runs into him again at sectionals (and actually meeting Blaine), he suddenly finds himself to be a fast and slightly coerced friend to them both. He’s thrown right into figuring out how much Sebastian cares about Blaine, how Blaine feels about Sebastian, confessing his bullying problems and dealing with Sebastian’s ego. And it actually seems to be worth it. But will that last?

7. give your heart (a break) [Mature] - drunkonwriting 

Summary: Post-TBU AU. Life moves on after heartbreak: Kurt knows that more than most. As he tries to put his life back together after Blaine, he finds an unexpected ally in his new coworker and Isabelle's nephew: Sebastian Smythe. As Kurt goes through his new life as a single man, he finds an unexpected depth to Sebastian and realizes that losing the first love of his life doesn't mean he'll never love again.

8. (Let’s give them) Something to talk - MemeKonGlee (MemeKonYA)

Summary: “I need you to—”“I heard you the first time,” Kurt interrupts, putting his fork and knife down on his plate and pushing his half-finished pancakes aside. “What I meant was: what the hell?”He points towards the neglected pancakes, trying to stall in the face of Kurt’s reaction.“Are you sure you don’t wanna finish that first?”The look in Kurt's eyes tells him in no uncertain terms that no, he doesn't want to finish his pancakes, Jesus.And so Sebastian has no option but to take a deep breath in, exhale slowly through his mouth and just… get on with it, internally cringing at how unbelievably ridiculous it all sounds when he puts it in words, all out there for the world (and more importantly, Kurt fucking Hummel) to judge. It all boils down to: I fucked up and I'm too proud to deal with it the mature way.

9. Twitch Verse [Teen and Up Audience] - sincerelyjessy*

*A series of oneshots that explores Kurt Hummel and Sebastian Smythe’s relationship

10. Would You Hold It Against Me [Mature] - deliriumbubbles 

Summary: The Warblers discover that they and McKinley will be doing the same musical during the fall semester. After a spot of espionage against their rival school McKinley, new Warbler Sebastian finds himself fascinated by one of the young auditioners… and unintentionally becoming the Warblers’ nefarious leader.

TOP 10 KURTBASTIAN FICS (ONESHOTS)

1. The Daily Grind - orphan_account

Summary: Kurt Hummel is a bored barista, and Sebastian never gets off his phone.

2. The One with the Amusement Park [Teen and Up Audiences] - a_storm_of_frustration

Summary: “It was the only place I could think of where we could have 'fun’”, he grits his teeth.Snorting indelicately, Kurt rolls his eyes as he fixes the lapel of his sky blue pea coat. “And by 'fun’ you mean snark at each other and insult each other’s weak points until we feel like murdering the other? And whoever gets to do it first wins?”Sebastian immediately grins. And he had to bite down that grin the minute that he sees Kurt grinning at him. “Well, I did pick a public place. Full of people. Potential witnesses.”“There are rides that provide some sort of privacy. I’ll take the chance, however brief it is.”“There’s always the Tunnel of Love.”Kurt gives him a look. Sebastian bites his tongue so hard he could taste blood.--In which Sam thinks that his best friend and his boyfriend should get to know each other better and…Well, bond.

3. Weather With You [Teen Audience and Up] - chocoholicannanymous

Summary: Kurt Hummel might not exactly be the last person Wes expects to see at the club, but not far from. Who he's with, and what he's doing however... Yeah, that might the last thing he expects.This is a fic-of-a-fic, showing a scene from "A Change In the Weather" from another point of view.

4. The Truth About Sebastian Smythe [Mature] - DasWarSchonKaputt

Summary: Sebastian Smythe does what he wants. Fuck the world. Now, if only the world would quit fucking him back. AKA: Sebastian Smythe's therapy journal, ages 17 to 18.

5. Misery Loves Company [Teen and Up Audiences] - prettypurpleflower

Summary: Kurt and Sebastian keep getting ill and it messes everything up. Especially their feelings.

6. One Shots, Drabbles and Prompts (Oh My!) [General Audiences] - bastiankurts (orphan_accounts)

Summary: A collection of various pieces of written work for Kurtbastian that are either too short to upload individually or that I just felt worked better archived in this bundle. The majority of these have been shared on my own tumblr in the past and are labelled with their titles and the blurb they originally were given when first uploaded, and they include different scenarios for Kurt & Sebastian as well as a few familiar faces along for the ride!

7. Joysticks and Glitter [General Audiences] - supercanaries

Summary: Series of daddies!Kurtbastian drabbles and oneshots going through Kurt and Sebastian's path as parents and their choices that drove them towards this direction.

8. First Brick [Teen And Up Audiences] - supercanaries

Summary: It’s only when he has almost managed to suppress any thought about his boyfriend’s unusual silence that Sebastian speaks, his breath heavy and preceding a revelation Kurt has been aware of for a long while now."I’m gay."

9. Let Them Look [Not Rated] - AnarchyWretch

Summary: Sebastian observes his boyfriend in his element, surrounded by adoring NYADA boys. It's kind of an inflation to his ego, really.

10. The Textactive Stalker [Teen And Up Audiences] - Wednesday Thunder (wednesdaythunder)

Summary: Sebastian: Ever since he started getting text messages from an unknown number, it becomes evident with every new text that the other person knows exactly who he was. Yet, even the creepy stalker factor wasn't enough to stop Sebastian from forming a real connection with a friend he only knows by written words. Or does he? Kurt: Never the one to go down without a challenge, he anonymously starts texting to Sebastian Smythe, trying to find any weakness in his armour. But never was he prepared for the boy he got to know, or the feelings to grow stronger with each unopened message...

Honorable Mention (if you truly want a binge)

1. Lady Divine (fhartz91)

[sugrmottas]

what actually are your glee ships?

short answer is everything, more or less. i’m too much of a multishipper lmao

long answer is under the cut.

here are my preferred endgames:

rachel: jesse/rachel, but in an entirely different way than it unfolded in the show??? also they’d get together pretty far into their twenties/maybe even early thirties vs. rachel being 21 and jesse being 23.

finn: i have an oc endgame for finn (had he lived) because i honestly don’t really see him working with anyone actually on the show. 

kurt: i do stick by my preference of adam/kurt (he needs to be someone more mature than him Honestly), but as time goes by i do find myself growing more and more fond of the adam/elliott/kurt ot3. i never quite got the appeal of any of kurt’s other ships (especially kurt/puck and kurt/karofsky) so that might be a factor there, admittedly.

mercedes: in the event that tike isn’t endgame, i do find myself pretty soft for mercedes/mike. they have such a great dynamic in s4 (that was dropped thereafter but that’s glee i Suppose) and it’s easy to see how it could grow into a romantic relationship between the two of them. they’d do friends to lovers so well. i’m endlessly fascinated by their potential. i have an oc endgame for her otherwise, because nobody else on this hellshow deserves mercedes jones.

tina: mike/tina was super undeveloped but also one of the healthiest relationships glee had so they’re automatically my endgame for them but as i delve more into the post-glee headcanons, idk. maybe not. if not mike, i’d probably end up putting her with an oc. maybe a warbler, but lbr, all but blaine/kurt/sebastian/hunter count as ocs. sooooooooo

artie: honestly? idk. i’m v soft for artie/kitty but i enjoy artie so little as a character that i find it hard to pair him with anyone. 

quinn: i ship quinn with literally everything under the sun. i don’t think i have a stable endgame for her, but i always end up coming back around to pairing her with warbler wes. (kids born into ohio’s high society and forcing themselves to live up to impossible standards until they just can’t anymore is my LIFEBLOOD.)

santana: dani/santana. i think santana does need an intellectual equal to be fully satisfied in a relationship and as much as she loves brittany, she just… doesn’t hit the mark. and that’s okay. seriously. dani and santana kind of feed into each other’s prejudices (fuck your biphobia ladies) so they need to do a lot of growing together, but i think they’d do it well.

brittany: i don’t have a solid endgame for brittany just because i struggle to understand her character, which is my bad. i think if anything i’d have her in a polyamorous relationship (usually of 4, sometimes 3, rarely more) with a group of ocs - usually a warbler’s thrown in there (jeff more often than not) but the others are completely from scratch.

puck: puck/rachel has always owned my heart, so i feel it necessary to give them a shoutout here. but honestly, lauren/puck is just… so good. 

mike: mandatory callouts for mike/tina and mercedes/mike. i think for mike, mike/tina makes a lot more sense - she pushes him to challenge his father which is Huge, but i struggle to see where he’d challenge her. he’d support her to the end, but stops short of telling her to be more. i think there’s less of him holding back in his relationship with mercedes (they have a dynamic built on mutual respect, where mike and tina started hooking up behind tina’s boyfriend’s back), so i think i’m more partial to them here.

matt: i felt weird not including him but honestly matt/screentime

sam: blam, surprising nobody.

blaine: blam, surprising nobody. seblaine’s a Big secondary ship, though.

sugar: warbler nick fuck y’all crusty bitches who don’t give a shit about boys if they ain’t gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rory: ??? idk man, rory deserved better than this hellshow.

joe: i have an oc endgame for him!

marley: jake/marley/ryder. jake and marley date for-freaking-ever (fuck the cheating storyline), breaking up when the time comes for college - jake gets an insane scholarship to julliard while marley’s staying in ohio. who else is staying in ohio? oh gee, ryder! so marley and ryder spend a Lot of time together, eventually begin dating, except there’s always a weird cloud of Jake hanging above them. jake ends up dropping out of julliard and drops off the map for a while and eventually jake’s mom calls ryley begging them to try and help find her baby because they were His People and even though they haven’t spoken to jake in nearly three years, they go because of course they do. there’s a Lot more to this story, but i’m trying to keep this short so: they find jake in new york eventually, in with the entirely wrong crowd and end up staying in the city (in blaine and sam’s apartment which is too small for the two of them let alone all five) to try and help him recover/through his withdrawals (they do long-distance schooling because blaine mother hens the shit out of them and refuses to let them fuck up their hard work just because jake’s struggling) and a few years laterrrr they’re all together.

jake: read above

ryder: read above

kitty: artie/kitty. also v partial to kitty/warbler thad. i just like putting the second generation of new directions with warblers oKaY

unique: i honestly. do not know. i love unique but have such a flimsy grasp on her character (probably because i hate alex) that i just never know what the fuck i’m doing with her post-canon?????? probably an oc, though.

i feel like the 3rd generation pairs itself up nicely (alistair/spencer, jane/mason) and don’t have too much of an idea of madison and roderick’s endgames (not each other, fuck y’all crusty bitches not being able to come up with unique endgames for them when they clearly weren’t super into each other) sooo uh END SECTION

i mentioned various secondary endgames above, but here are my big midgame ships.

rachel: finchel (uh fuck canon), pezberry (uh fuck canon x2), samchel, puckleberry (idk how i feel about canon here).

finn: finchel, fuinn strictly in the sense of “i don’t ship them romantically but view them as integral to each of their individual development”.

kurt: klaine. also ngl i’m vaguely interested in what Could have happened with chandler/kurt but i don’t think i ship it much.

mercedes: samcedes, idk their ship name but mercedes/shane was also a good ship, you guys are just mean.

tina: tartie. also the older i get, the more i lowkey ship sam/tina tbh.

artie: tartie, quartie.

quinn: fuinn, quick, quam, quartie. also it’s Mostly a crackship but st. fabray kind of??? appeals to me??? also quinntana and faberry but there’s so much meta there that idk if i ship them or just find them incredibly interesting

santana: brittana, pezberry, quinntana. 

brittany: brittana, bram (quinn and sam are kind of my shipping bicycles pls help).

puck: quick. also the age-difference was super whack, but i’d be interested in him and kitty dating when she’s, you know, legal.

mike: personal headcanon is that mike’s demisexual but biromantic, so i don’t do a lot of casual shipping with him. i’ve been playing with the concept of him going on a few dates with a male oc when they’re in college, though idk if it’s a Big thing yet.

matt: MATT/SCREENTIME

sam: samcedes, quam, bram, samchel, sam/tina (sina? tam? ew).

blaine: klaine. also i’ll be honest, the concept of a bi!blaine is super interesting to me (i cried when biota aired lmao) and if it was Ever a thing, i’d ship blaine/brittany/sam so hard.

sugar: rory/sugar, artie/sugar, a bunch of idiot men/sugar.

rory: rory/sugar. also i have a weird thing where i think he and marley would be super close but idk if it’s in a ship way or best friends??? sos

joe: i know it was never super developed, but i was kinda soft for joe/quinn ngl.

marley: n/a??? idk she’s a v first love/last love kind of girl.

jake: jake/kitty.

ryder: i have a Thing for ryder/tina and i don’t understand it but blake and jenna had some Super Cute moments so i blame them. also i’m adding ryder to the list of “members of new directions 2.0 randomly dating warblers”, this time the lucky warbler being an oc soooo SRY

kitty: jake/kitty. jitty? i feel like they had a ship name.

unique: n/a???

and then there’s notp’s, of which i have one: k*rtsofky :) also k*rley is…kinda gross lads. also s*btana just let thm b gay!!!

[harryshmjr]

02x11

this episode was absolutely amazing. yes, there were things that i didn’t like or that broke my heart but in the end, it was really, really good. it was so intense, so much happened and i almost couldn’t breathe because i just really wanted to know what’s gonna happen next

- that malec casual kiss is my everything it took them a while but they are finally so comfortable with each other. they are so in love and they want to be there for each other i love absolutely everything about this and i hope we will get more casual moments like this

- how would shadowhunters survive without magnus' knowledge? they can come to him with literally anything and he will have information about this i love magnus bane with my whole heart

- magnus and alec on a mission together YES THANK YOU i've been waiting for this for such a long time POWER COUPLE AF

- magnus summoning azazel and then trying to contain him... he's so powerful and i need to see more of this 

- from the moment harry got up from that floor, you could tell he wasn't playing magnus anymore. every time i'm more and more impressed with his acting skills and every time i think that it would be impossible for him to get any better and yet he surprises me yet again i hate this story so so much, magnus deserves only happiness and not to have his body stolen and be trapped inside of a homicidal maniac who hurt so many people. my heart is already broken and i'm not ready for the next episode but at the same time i know that harry and alan are gonna slay us and it'll be so painful to watch

- alec offering to magnus that he wants to come back HOME with him... i'm so emo about this do you see my gay son wanting to be with his boyfriend so he can just make sure that everything is okay? he wants to make effort because magnus means so much to him (and i wish it was real magnus, it could've been such a beautiful moment between them)

- parabatai training together and talking about their problems... i've been waiting for this for such a long time alec was trying to make sure that jace was okay and that he didn't blame himself for activating the sword. because alec knows all too well how it feels when there's this guilt inside of you, even if you couldn't do anything to stop this alec wanted to let jace knows that he should talk about things. do you know how huge this is? alec was always the one who would bury all feelings deep inside. and now he's trying to make sure his brother doesn't make that mistake

- that conversation between alec and izzy was so beautiful. they love each other so much and alec just really wants to help both of his siblings. he wants them to be safe and happy (yes, i'm emo about this) 

- jace cockblocking climon is my aesthetic 

- that almost jimon hug was the cutest thing ever. you know jace really wanted that hug 

- jace punching valentine, his abuser... i'm so proud of him. and valentine completely deserved it 

- jace crying and alec hugging him... that scene absolutely broke my heart. i wasn't prepared for any of this i'm really glad that they are showing that jace actually does have emotions and he feels very deeply. and now that he blames himself for all those deaths, he’s going to need support from his family and friends

- jace activating his runes without his stele SIGN! ME! UP! 

- nobody challenges luke! he is an amazing alpha and he really worries about his pack. his heart must be so broken to see them lose their faith in him because he couldn't stop the attack and couldn't help them 

- luke making dad jokes is what i need more on the show 

- even though i despise izzy's story with yin fen, emeraude is doing a really great job at selling it i hate to see izzy like this because she doesn't deserve this 

- and i hate even more what izzy was trying to do to raphael. trying to make him bite her, even though he didn't want to. even trying to threaten him this plot line is such a mess and it's so harmful to both of them, i really need this to be over

- raphael trying to make things right with the help from magnus this is why i started to love raphael. if he cares about someone, he would do anything for them. and when he knows he did something wrong, he wants to fix his mistakes

- i really liked the scene between raphael and simon. because raphael was really trying to get that info from simon but at the same time he stayed calm. raphael always tries to think something through before actually doing something 

- definitely way too much climon. i want to be happy for them but i really couldn't care less?

- and i don't really want clace drama back but ugh whatever

- but i’m really happy for simon because he’s finally getting his life together. he has a girlfriend, he’s going back to uni, he’s going to be in a band again. that’s everything he always wanted

- maia was so genuinly happy for simon and i just love her so much. she is such a loyal person and her friends mean everything to her she also wanted to help luke as much as possible. maia is one of the best characters and we’re getting more and more of her which is the best decision the writers and showrunners could’ve made

- the actor playing azazel is doing such an amazing job. he's actually scary and everything he does, he does it so effortlessly because sometimes demons on different shows can look or behave more ridiculous than scary. but azazel is portrayed exactly how such a powerful demon, a prince of hell, should be portrayed

- that whole scene where azazel gets free and he's able to make suffer all those shadowhunters AND a powerful warlock... and again, he's doing it so effortlessly. he's almost... bored. 'you really thought you could do this to me?' azazel is a great villain, i'm so so impressed (even though i hate him so much)

- i hate valentine with passion but that interrogation scene was just... wow. alan is such an amazing actor and imogen being so calm, not showing any kind of emotion was just so intense

- of course sebastian is basically flying in his first scene, why not. and also fighting a greater demon because also why not (i wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one with a mortal cup and he was the one who summoned azazel) i'm still not very excited about him but he does have potential for a great villain so i'm gonna wait

- sebastian helping izzy... he's such a snake. on one hand, i'm so happy that izzy will be slowly getting better. but on the other hand i know he's just doing it to gain her trust so he can use it later

- sebastian just casually burning his hand... yes, it's absolutely normal. nothing to worry about...

- OLLIE HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND I AM BLESSED thank you

- and thinking that maia is luke's girlfriend... come on lmao really? haha

- but why was she taking pics of maia? pls don't be shady pls don't be shady

[gildedalchemist]

1 - 100

Well then! I actually have some downtime so im doing this. Post was from a while ago but i saved it for when I have time. I’m not gonna answer a number of these fully bc thats TOO much sharing, but I’ll answer as many as i can.

1. What is you middle name?not answering this one

2. How old are you?24

3. When is your birthday?August 25th

4. What is your zodiac sign?Virgo

5. What is your favorite color?Royal Purple, though I like many shades of lighter purples nowadays

6. What’s your lucky number?Yup, 2. If not 2, then 8.

7. Do you have any pets?I have a family dog at home, hes a labradoodle named Sebastian

8. Where are you from?Southern California

9. How tall are you?I like to think I’m 6 feet tall, but im just short of that I think

10. What shoe size are you?11 US Mens, which i think is 14 in womens? I forget the conversion, and it’s damn near impossible to find anything in my size in that department.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?enough that I’ve lost count

12. What was your last dream about?hanging out with @the-senor-sperm​, Xavier

13. What talents do you have?I don’t believe in talent. Nobody starts good at anything, it’s all skills that must be trained and maintained.

14. Are you psychic in any way?I have very good gut reactions when I first meet people, generally. It has almost never steered me wrong, especially when it comes to my personal safety. If someone is not to be trusted, I generally know pretty quickly.

15. Favorite song?I’m not sure right now, I’ve been introduced to a lot of new music in the last year and I have a hard time choosing.

16. Favorite movie?Clue!

17. Who would be your ideal partner?Someone who challenges me to be the person I want to be. Someone I can trust with my thoughts and feelings. Someone I can spend my time with and be okay when all else is crumbling. Someone I love. Someone who would sit up with me while I’m deliriously I’ll, and make sure I’m drinking water, and eating, particularly microwave cup ramen. ;P

18. Do you want children?I dunno. I used to. I used to feel like I wanted to prove I could be a better parent, but I don’t feel that need, nor do I want that to be my reason anymore. I just want to live and be happy with my partner. Whatever happens after that, will be decided when the time comes.

19. Do you want a church wedding?Oof. I dunno. The thought is nice but I don’t know if the church would be cool with the wedding I’d wanna have ówò;;;  

20. Are you religious?Not really at the moment. I want to believe in something, but that something has no form for me right now.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yes, I’ve even had surgery! (on my sinuses, im fine now!)

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Not really

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Nope, unless you count internet celebrities, which I dont really. I met Arin Hanson before I knew who he even was.

24. Baths or showers?Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing?white

26. Have you ever been famous?lmao nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?No, i don’t like that kind of pressure

28. What type of music do you like?little bit of everything, though i do quite like electronic stuff

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?nope, but if i ever have my own pool and could do so without peeking neighbors, i’d consider it.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?2 usually, but i only have 1 right now because reasons

31. What position do you usually sleep in?either on my side if the bed is real soft, or on my stomach.

32. How big is your house?its pretty decently sized, but I’m living in a dorm right now and not at my parents house

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?nothing

34. Have you ever fired a gun?Yes. I wasnt a fan. I didnt like how easy it is to just point and kill, and i especially hate that people think having that power is a right that should be protected like it is.

35. Have you ever tried archery?yes i have. I enjoyed it from a skill aspect

36. Favorite clean word?spaghetti. its real fun to say

37. Favorite swear word?i like saying chucklefuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?about 40 hours. I’ve never done 2 consecutive all nighters. at that point, i start to pass out when i blink.

39. Do you have any scars?Yes, I have one on my shoulder and lower back from the same injury, one on my knee and shin from unrelated incidents, and scars on my hands, face, and shoulders from injuries and acne over the years

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?If I did, they kept it a pretty good secret. Or not. I am quite oblivious in that regard. Its hard when you just assumed for years that youre unloveable.

41. Are you a good liar?I used to be but not much anymore

42. Are you a good judge of character?Almost always

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?Nope, it is embarassing for me to even try

44. Do you have a strong accent?people say they dont notice an accent from me until i say certain words, like dude, or awesome.

45. What is your favorite accent?New Zealand accents are a hoot

46. What is your personality type?Timid, but caring

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?honestly not sure. most of my stuff isnt that expensive. by original cost probably a cashmere sweater, but I bought it at a thrift shop. 

48. Can you curl your tongue?yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?innie

50. Left or right handed?right

51. Are you scared of spiders?somewhat, but I dont react as badly as I used to at the sight of them. only if they touch me.

52. Favorite food?spaghetti? pizza? Xaviers cooking? hard to say

53. Favorite foreign food?sushi!

54. Are you a clean or messy person?clean in many ways, except for my room

55. Most used phrased?“aww, gay.”

56. Most used word?at this point, probably “fuck”

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?if im in a hurry, minutes, if im not, hours.

58. Do you have much of an ego?I can, but i’m working on it. I dont think I do though.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Bite

60. Do you talk to yourself?Usually, mostly to walk myself through things

61. Do you sing to yourself?Rarely

62. Are you a good singer?I think i’m better than i used to be, but im not great

63. Biggest Fear?Losing my best friends. I lost one in a very bad way, I cant stand the thought of losing more.

64. Are you a gossip?Once i got to university I became one, but I didnt used to be. Thats just kinda the environment I’m in. I feel like if i didnt people wouldnt trust me as much or even at all.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?i dunno, im not sure what constitutes “dramatic”

66. Do you like long or short hair?on me, Long. I cant stand how ive looked with short hair anymore. On other people I have no preference.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Fuck no lmao

68. Favorite school subject?Chemistry, after that Psych or English

69. Extrovert or Introvert?Extrovert with anxiety that makes me present like an introvert, i think is what ive settled on

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?nope

71. What makes you nervous?So many things oh my god

72. Are you scared of the dark?Yes

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?I do for some people but it is seen as inappropriate to others, and in some cases makes people think im trying to be superior, so I try not to anymore unless asked. Its not my place, unless they want to be corrected.

74. Are you ticklish?Don’t fuckin touch me. I am but I’ll bite.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?No. I had too many false rumors started about me, I wouldnt do that to someone else unless it was true and people needed to know the truth.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?Sort of? I’ve been in classrooms and worked with kids, so i’ve been in situations where they answer to me, but I’ve never really been the main figure head so I’d say no overall.

77. Have you ever drank underage?yes

78. Have you ever done drugs?yes

79. Who was your first real crush?Honestly? I dont even know anymore. I know I had some, but what counts as “real”? I’d guess the one that lead to my first relationship. that was in 2011.

80. How many piercings do you have?none

81. Can you roll your Rs?“nope

82. How fast can you type?pretty fast

83. How fast can you run?I can run pretty fast but only for short bursts now.

84. What color is your hair?brown

85. What color is your eyes?blue-green

86. What are you allergic to?a variety of weeds, trees, grasses, molds, and dust mites

87. Do you keep a journal?not physically. what i post online and in recordable formats count as my journal, so i may look back on what ive said.

88. What do your parents do?my mom is a housewife, my dad works in law

89. Do you like your age?y...yes?? what does this even mean?

90. What makes you angry?injustice and unfairness

91. Do you like your own name?Not my full name, I like my first name’s shortening, so thats why i go by Matt

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Only John. To honor his memory, and all that he did for me. He set me on the path to become who I am.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?I want my kid to decide that for themself, if I ever have one.

94. What are you strengths?Tenacity

95. What are your weaknesses?Cowardice

96. How did you get your name?My dad named me after his best friend first, then his karate instructor for middle

97. Were your ancestors royalty?not to my knowledge

98. Do you have any scars?wasnt this #39?

99. Color of your bedspread?light blue

100. Color of your room?the one at home is sort of yellowish i think. the room i’m in right now is white.