The difference in how I was treated as a child versus how I'm treated as an adult when I'm crying feels ridiculous and backwards.
As a child, if I was upset or crying, clearly it was a sign there was something wrong with me; normal kids wouldn't cry over being bullied. Normal kids wouldn't be bullied. Maybe I should just try being Less Weird and Less Sensitive, and stop disrupting the class with my crying. "Don't go crying to the teacher, tattletale". And even if I did go to the teacher, well, if the other kids didn't like me, then clearly I was the troublemaker and clearly I should be punished for it. I just needed to suck it up, toughen up, and stop doing things that set off the other kids (like daring to exist as an autistic child).
Now, as an adult, people pull out all the stops with the sympathy. "Who did this to you?" "Is there anything I can do? Anything at all? Do you want a hug? Tissues? Would you like to go somewhere quiet and cool off?"
It's so unfair. As a child I needed that reassurance, I needed that sympathy. As an adult, yeah, it's nice, and I appreciate it, but I also have years of life experience buoying me and have had much worse days behind me. I'm in a better place right now to handle the kind of mistreatment I got as a child. Yes it would still suck. Yes it would still be wrong. But I am a grown adult with coping mechanisms and not a vulnerable child.
Maybe part of it is how I did end up learning how to mask. I still come off as a little weird or eccentric, and I still refuse to conform to many gender norms, but because I can be stuffed more-or-less into the box of "sweet little white girl," people feel they should protect me, where as a child, I wasn't seen as sweet, just weird. I wasn't accepted as a girl, because I was too boyish and weird, and I wasn't accepted as a boy either, because I was still too girly, and the grown-ups HATED it when I tried to be 'one of the boys' even on the occasions the boys DID accept me.
Like, okay, great. I now appear neurotypical and allistic ENOUGH to get that privilege. I now appear (cis)feminine ENOUGH to get that privilege. Never mind how I'm constantly on-guard to keep myself small enough to fit into those boxes, and how there's sometimes dysphoria involved in that.
That doesn't erase years of being an outsider. It just makes the contrast starker. Why did I have to be treated that way as a child? Why are so many OTHER people STILL treated that way?
3 notes
·
View notes
if kids want to bully someone, they will. like, someone won't be mercilessly harassed by other children just because they have a weird name. it becomes ammunition for attacks if they aren't popular, but that applies to anything noteworthy about them (and you can't avoid your child having unique qualities, nor should you, and i don't think any of these "naming your kid after a tree is cruel" people think otherwise lol). some people are so passionate about this and it's a silly thing to be purposely mad about
4 notes
·
View notes
TW for my usual unhinged stance on puppets, if you're following me, you know. If you're not, I'm sorry (not sorry). ((If you're the author or narrator, I'm actually sorry.))
Okay, so because I'm allowed to be freaky on main about puppets on this site, I just wanna tell everyone, because everyone should know that creepypasta narrator Lighthouse Horror just posted a story (by author Alonso Solis) about an evil puppet show a few days ago, and I just listened, and I loved it.
Now onto freaky business:
Headcanoning the main char as a puppetfucker bc c'mon, that bromance, the way he lovingly describes Mr. Smiley's appearance, what he does before leaving the old studio towards the end... Just... Mmmm... *chef's kiss* love this kinda content. I'll sleep soundly dreaming I could have someone like that. Y'know? Big, glassy eyes, big grin, secret evil laugh, mildly self-animate...
0 notes
I googled lucky blue's name to see if someone else thinks the name is stupid or it's just me,,,, only to learn he named his child Rumble Honey and Slim Easy, that after naming effing Gravity with his ex
im literally not joking (though honestly hoping these are 'public' names bc..... it speaks for itself.)
0 notes