#seeing one thing through to the end
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David Hayward
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I continue, prattling on in the cemetery in the creeping dark. Here he is, after all—after all these years. I have a shawl wrapped around me and a streetlight nearby turns on. “I dried up after fifteen books,” I tell him. “One came after the other, crowded to get in line. Then nothing but the empty days on the portal and Covid burning up the sidewalks. My last book was about haiku.” I quickly drop that subject, afraid Hemingway didn’t care about haiku. I’m sure I repeated myself. Finally, I unwind as much as I can, and then there is nothing. But it is dumb clear, even with no revelation—it comes from me, not him: Write anyway. No ecstatic understanding. No big epiphany.
What did you think? I ask myself. You went to a writer for help. I was ignorant of a writer’s path when I was young and still hoped to escape, but I was married to it. Visiting Hemingway only drove that home. Like other marriages, you don’t know what you’re getting into until you stay and meet it, moment by moment. I think of the words of Suzuki Roshi, the Japanese Zen master, when someone asked him what enlightenment was: Seeing one thing through to the end. I guess that fit for anything you seriously take on.
[Writing on Empty: A Guide to Finding Your Voice :: Natalie Goldberg]
#Writing on Empty#Natalie Goldberg#David Hayward#Suzuki Roshi#zen#quotes#words and writing#seeing one thing through to the end#reading and writing#intention#commitment#practic
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red crowned crane grian
#i started this one so long ago. months#i fully intended for it to be line and color#i do not know what happened but i got like possessed or something to draw a full background#so i ended up spending far too long on it and going through many stages of hate love pain joy and suffering#the thing i was caught up on the most was the water#it still doesn't look right but shhhhhh im not dealing with it any longer#it looks fine enough as is#my favorite part was adding the clouds#oh god that was so fun!!! the sky was feeling kinda bland then i added the clouds#they were so pleasant to do#also you cant really see it well but im very happy with the fish#it is a perch specifically#fish <3#overall im quite happy with this despite the ups and downs#it feels calm#grian#grian fanart#hermitcraft#raff's art
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jared padalecki, jensen ackles, rob benedict, richard speight jr jib con 2025 panel (amberdreams)
slaphappy and punchdrunk (no wonder it ended up in a piggyback ride)
+bonus
#j2#jib15#jibcon 2025#jared padalecki#jensen ackles#rob benedict#richard speight jr#long post#j2gifs#mygifs#j2 gifs#jibcon#just some more nonsense. they were really on one#saw the hand holding thing so i went looking to see if i could make the quality a bit better and ended up with all ... this#not to mention whatever i ffw'd through that involved them acting like they were all in a car? that was too much for me :p#the weirdly smooth motion and slight blurring is from me using the stabilization in premiere on the video#it was pretty jittery so i just used the out of the box warp stabilization thing#which. if i knew what i was doing maybe i could make it look better but i don't and it's not in me to learn something new#because i already have remade these gifs like 3 times because i kept trying to not make them huge (failed) or forgot smthg#the joke that broke jensen at the end can only marginally be called a joke LOL but you know when something hits you just right#and perhaps you're sleep deprived/hungover/who knows what else :p
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pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head
#pvp civilization#pvp civ#I'LL MAKE A PROPER ONE I SWEARR I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MYSYSTEM FIRST#if it turns out he gets a bad ending in ep 6 i dont think i'll be ok like#he deserves a good ending . or a villain arc at least. he deserves to go batshit crazy after how everyone treated him#ALSOO the chekovs gun video journal device thing?? The excessive 4th wall breaking?#Is it just me or does jt feel like evbo is gonna lose his memory/already lost his memory and was sent to the wood sword lvl with tabi#or like . Idk?? It feels kind of truman show ish. Well maybe not that but its just the vibe im getting w the way that everyone has their-#-own secrets. How the diamond swords seems to know who evbo n tabi is. How princezam knows about the diamond swords#and then theres also parrot whos just?? Weird overall?? Idk whats going on w him but i need to know his backstory wdym u think evbo will-#-hate you if he knows what you did??#ANYWAY BACK TO THE VIDEO JOURNAL AND POTENTIAL MEMORY LOSS.#I dont want jt to go that way (mostly bc i dont want to see evbo suffer more than he already did) but it rlly does seem like its heading to#that direction w the way that it also has become a way to narrate what he went through (ie when the ep shows his attempts to beat the-#gold sword lvl but hes narrating it from the future. from his video journal. where he already beat the lvl)#im going insane#Wait also what i meant by the truman show vibe in relation to the excessive 4th wall breaks it makes it sound like pvp civ is just a -#simulation#wait i just remembered its the matrix not that mb umm#anyways.#empty chattering#kokotehart
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we let the ocean drown out our voices/enjoying the bitterness/in the chaotic light, I close my eyes and see
#dredge game#spoilers. technically lol#my friend mim (at mimzalot on twitch etc) streamed dredge at it went the FUnniest way it couldve#two streams in we made a joke abt the collector and the fisherman being in toxic old man yaoi#divorcee-on-widower situationship together. and the joke kept up Literally Until The Very End#iykyk#could not have stumbled into a better way to keep the surprise#and The Best Thing Is. I do still think the yaoi is meaningful to the text#like mim brought up how resurrection is inherently a selfish act. I sat on that for a While#but also I do just enjoy body double. abdication of responsibility through othering a specific part of yourself#pairing that with specifically Being A Villain as like. a deliberate act#u see my vision. u ever played dredge#anyways uhhh caption is from no party for cao dong's devotion#yes its bc red candle game's devotion is like a quarter of my personality but also I do listen to no party for cao dong recreationally#also been really feelin this kind of ink recently. U Will See. Soon Ish#seems I have like... phases of trying to figure out specific textures in ink#a long time ago I was Really into drawing metal with just ink. and a few years ago it was fire. and now: water#one day I'll get all five. and then I will be able to see the future#okay I either finish up a thing or go to bed now... depends. we shall see. take care and be kind to urself yeah? lets draw smthing tmr
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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hoptal
#library of ruina#yesod lor#yesod#netzach lor#netzach#PRETEND ITS THE 14TH FOR ME OKAY!! god this thing made me feel so tired but its over. its over. am i happy w it? no.#ahhhghg the dialog is subpar. you can see visibly where i started and stopped some days. yk what. its. done.#ill do a whole different reblog from the sideblog on just ramblings of getting through it plus choices made. tldr aroace and harder to writ#romance that feels genuine. either way its done!! i was going to have it not as detailed but since i already missed the date by a lot might#as well put more effort into it yk. the last one made me want to die though. its really iffy compaired to the others . struggled so hard to#make it look right. ended up just going w one of the other previous sketches and just giving up and shading it in. i dobnot gaf it can look#weird but be done. HUZZAH!!!#ohbright forgot#netsod#probablt will do the text reblog abouuutt ???? 2 hours after og goes up. just to properly format it and collect thoughts and write#to who ever sent that anonymous ask. hope u like it. sorry it took so long#if this isnt in order i will melt into the floor and be consumed into the earth. PLEASEPELASPELASPLEASE#i onow i will make a seperate post abt it. but also. still just very. eh? i wanted to try and be true to what i had originally come to enjoy#with lor. but also i know im not capable of replicating such aspects and works and craftsmanship. but i still want to keep to what i can or#try to express facets that drew me into it all. which makes me a bit skittish abt writing dialog or drawing them in any other situation that#isnt just like. white void or the like. but still... .. .. . ahgh. skittish and overthinking. i cant tell what is attempting to handle with#adoration and care and what is just being overly terrified of having words or intent misconstrued#rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and .. . .. ect ect. i cannot look at it lest i explode
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Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water
Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#bless their hearts but they’re nasty#it’s funny because like#each and every one of them has moments#where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy#and then the next they have STANDARDS#can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa#even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀#thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏#they’re all gross teenage boys!!!#even Donnie he is NO exception here#bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros#bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it#but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss#pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross#100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon#because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy#THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES#the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀#I love them tho they are endearing anyhow#April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr#honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all#just by virtue of being a chef#Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like#a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work#Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross#Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison)#Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk#all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now
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I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT
yeaah... future trio got me too...
and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.
hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D
...ignore the rest
whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this
#Can you believe between the first pic and the 4th pic is only a week inbetween. I sure can't but like why did I mirror the pose...#ON ACCIDENT??? Everytime I look at the two Grovyles I'm like... how... how did they end up so differently???#also probably blaming @cozybells as well for this but I really fear tagging people so I'm just letting y'all know in the tags because#I do wanna let everyone know who inspired me when someone did <333 better get running [you know who you are!!!!] DusnoirXDarkrai is next...#also: upon seeing scribz-ag24's art my brain said: You need to color too! ah yeah that went well with the doodle batch#I really hope you're able to read everything with how messy I can write sometimes. If not please let me know and I'll add sth in this post!#Also the doodle batch was the first thing I drew so well... never drew dusknoir before and grovyle once i think...#please go easy on me I have yet to explore the relationship between literally everyone😭 and I have no idea what I‘m doing and I'm a little#lost I normally only draw King Boo or Darkrai but I'm sure scribz-ag24 sprinkling in bits of Darkrai got me in love with the future trio to#grovyle#future trio#celebi#darkrai#dusknoir#pmd hero#pokemon#drifloon#totodile#my art#my stuff#tagas friend spoiler#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#IS THERE A SHIP NAME FOR FUTURE TRIO... there must be. ...oh... is it just...#futuretrioshipping#i feel sooo stupid rn.#also everytime i drew darkrai i had evil spiteful bastard in mind (except for the one with an arrow pointing out he's redeemed) but i think#i literally mixed every possible version of him in my head so got absolutely no clue what i'm doing :D#anyways i hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading through my ramblings! Have such a wonderful rest of the day yippiee <333#pmd2
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we need to talk about the end of this case because what
#image id in alt text#katrielle layton#alfendi layton#professor layton#spin offs#layton brothers mystery room#katrielle and the millionaire's conspiracy#layton's mystery journey#i didn't put my url on the last one and someone mentioned i should be watermarking so we're trying two things for now please ignore#ok like WHY do all the kids wanna get in the thames. dont swim in the thames through the city of london that sounds gross#fun fact i drew this on nye last year and just never finished alfendi and then never posted so 👍#layton siblings#katrielle could be good we just have to completely scrap it and start over#i have like so many random comics for these two individually and together ummmm i have no explanation for that one#sorry layton fandom i know we hate kats game but what if i see endless potential that they squandered#(if i post my other comics i'll make an faq that's like 'the anime is not canon on this blog')#no one cares take this art#edit: this has nothing to do with the anime i was just talking to myself and will refrain from doing that in the future#this is a reference to the end of case 2 of the game itself
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yeah yeah the writing sucks as always. but i actually think season 6 has been a gift so far?? we got
nick in every episode
new s1 osblaine content
nick backstory!!!
hot mess nick in handcuffs
baby holly actually being referred to as holly
quality brooding content
osblaine rescue mission
cuckholded luke
june getting told off multiple times
nick talking and voicing his feelings
it's you IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU
nick and rita reunion
nick and janine meeting
nick and moira meeting with moira being shooketh
luke absolutely fumbling his own mayday plan
moira finally getting something to do
janine and joe's weird little frenemyship
serena joy unceremoniously shoved off the back of a moving train
proof that nick and june could be a normal couple outside of gilead
a lamp in nick's apartment above the garage (big win for @smoulderingocean)
what else 😭
#look this season is blowing through my checklist of things i wanted to see before the series ends#we don't get just crumbs this year we get a whole half of a cookie 🥲#how tf am i the only positive one here when i don't even like this show#the handmaid's tale#nick blaine#osblaine#rae.txt
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Because they are on my mind, please accept one of my favorite Wangxian moments of all time.
Chapter 87
In my opinion, this is one of the most important Wangxian scenes in the whole novel. It is very special to me. It made me tear up when I was doing my read through.
Time and time again, Wei Wuxian has fallen, he's gotten hurt, people have failed him. The people who were supposed to be there for him have either left, he's lost them tragically, or they've betrayed him at some point in his life. His life has been one of loneliness and loss.
He has never had someone who he could rely on so heavily. He has never had a solid safety net before, someone on equal footing to him that he could fall back on and rely on. If anything he has spent his entire life being a safety net for other people. He has spent his whole life being strong for others.
Now, however, Lan Wangji is that safety net for him.
For the first time in his life, he has someone to truly catch him when he falls. He can let himself fall and still be safe. That "thank you" isn't just about Lan Wangji catching him after he fell from the tree, its about everything.
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#wei wuxian#lan wangji#do not get me wrong#we never engage in wen ning erasure in this house (he's my fav character)#in his own way he is a safety net as well#someone that wei wuxian can rely on when he needs to and who will protect him#i think where the difference is that while he CAN rely on wen ning they are walking separate paths#wen ning is not always going to be there by his side to catch him like lan wangji will be#wei wuxian can also let go completely when he's with lan wangji#he can be vulnerable with him whereas with wen ning he still feels like he must be strong#and really thats what wangxian is defined by in my opinion#love devotion and vulnerability#that is not to say that one relationship is BETTER than the other#lan wangji is simply the thing that wei wuxian needed the most#am i making sense? i hope i'm making sense#idk man i'm just yapping at this point#ALSO JIANG YANLI!!!!!#she WANTED to be a safety net for wuxian she wanted to be someone he could depend on#and he did feel safe with her he deeply loved her#but the world they lived in wouldn't LET her be that for him#through no fault of her own she didn't have the POWER to be that for him#that does not discount what she did do for him though#she fought for him where she could#and i love her for that#i can't stand some of the jiang yanli slander i see#i dont know how i ended up rambling so much in the tags#lots of opinions
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Thinking about Sammy being so messed up about Brooklynn's death that she literally hallucinates seeing Brooklynn in her house.
Didn't blame her before, but especially with this, absolutely cannot fault her at all for the way she responds after going through that and then not only learning that she grieved for nothing, but the person she misses so much rejected her help, won't come home, and won't apologize. Like what do you mean I missed you so bad I HALLUCINATED YOU and you won't come home???? Or talk to me????? Or give me any sign that you give a singular fuck about what I'm going through because of you????? And now all my issues with my girlfriend are coming back to the surface and she's putting YOU first and now we can't talk to each other??????? And now I've got one solid friend and one practically stranger on my side because everyone else is going after you and leaving me behind AGAIN????????
Like obviously I think she'll forgive Brooklynn in the end, and she'll probably come to understand to a degree that Brooklynn was trying to keep the others safe by keeping them at a distance, but right now? From her perspective? Completely justified in her anger.
#jurassic world chaos theory#sammy gutierrez#brooklynn jwct#jwct#yasammy#more than anything I need to see Sammy happy again#she's been through so much and right now she feels like a shell of herself#all her joy and positivity and light are gone right now because she's just so tired#she needs her girl and friends back and they need to help her#she needs to hear apologies and see consideration#she needs to work through whatever issues or trauma she has with/because of her family#she needs SUPPORT from those around her#kenji cannot do it alone he's going through it too!#now that brooklynn is safe these guys need to start giving some support to sammy and kenji#I understand why one thing took priority but she's out of any extra danger CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS GUYS#also if yaz doesn't move back in with sammy in the end istg#SHE CAN'T GO BACK TO LIVING ALONE#ITS SO BAD FOR HER#AT THE VERY LEAST IF YAZ NEEDS TO FINISH THERAPY ON HER OWN SAMMY NEEDS A ROOMMATE AND FREQUENT CALLS FROM HER GF
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There is a line of fathers / Just behind my shoulders / I CAN FEEL THEIR BREATH ON MY NECK.
[a kay for @mortiscausa's 'march to camelot,' for the prompt 'family']
#em draws stuff#march to camelot#arthurian things#arthuriana#sir kay#<- kay spelling this year across the board because I'm leaning him forward in time both wrt outfit and personality#was really not happy with how last year's kay piece turned out both color and composition-wise and I'm much more pleased with this one#even though it also absolutely put me through the wringer.#I started this y'day on the plane and redrew his head five times before I was happy with it.#and then watched spyxfamily over someone's shoulder for an hour and I accidentally Absorbed the style and had to redo the inks today#because he didn't really match my previous pieces for this year. and then also the coloring was hellacious.#jon and scooter were so kind as to help me out with composition woes though!! yay yippee#also. Have you noticed the theme this year is fish. you see. you see the fish.#caption lyrics from 'line of fathers' by the bengsons which does not Totally fit here. but it fits Enough. so ends.
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Happy Fret Day (and Happy Easter)!
#twewy#neo twewy#the world ends with you#neo the world ends with you#fret twewy#fret furesawa#my art#i really like fret! i think his struggles with his identity (regarding how he tends to act upbeat) are pretty interesting#especially with how they relate to his psyche#honestly as much as i find remind interesting narratively/thematically i did not enjoy it as part of the gameplay#there was this one remind section i was stuck on for twenty minutes?#i got better as i progressed but man. it was definitely the hardest to use#i've been thinking a lot about fret lately in relation to sora since i've been playing through kh#they both act cheerful and heroic to befriend/reassure people and consequently lose sight of who they are#it's actually so important to me that they meet and speak to each other at some point...#i struggled quite a bit with coming up with concepts for this drawing (similar to shoka)#when i have difficulty coming up with ideas for these drawings#i can overthink and start going down rabbit holes trying to find some semblance of an idea#that happened a little bit with this one haha#at one point i tried to think simpler. about how fret is fun-loving#then i remembered those target happy birthday glasses#and things started to come together!#you can't see it because it's so small but each candle is detailed to look like someone close to fret#rindo. kanon. shoka. nagi. beat. neku. from left to right (albeit beat and neku are covered by his hand)#drawing the glasses was a lot of fun! i think he looks good with them
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i know sorrow's quote was in referral to blue but i feel like it could also be applied to leaf/green herself and abandon lonliness: i am's new ending from a meta standpoint if you think abt it hard enough……….
i mean. did we not see OP try to rewrite history in order to prevent the tragedy of lonliness and leaf rotting in hell? do we dare to forget - to erase what she did to lonliness? can she be forgiven now that it never happened in the first place...?
#pokepasta#pokemon creepypasta#abandon lonliness#tbh this fanart was also my way of expressing that while i DID like the new happy ending-#-there's always going to be a part of me that's more fond of the original tragedy abandon lonliness presented-#where an otherwise 'good' girl is tricked into doing something unforgivable by someone she trusted and was forced to suffer for his mistake#it showed how manipulative blue could be by tricking leaf into doing his dirty work so he wouldn't suffer the consequences-#-of killing lonliness himself. as opposed to him just killing lonliness and green himself bc he's the clear 'bad guy' of the story.#i like stories where otherwise 'good' people are driven to do bad things just to save themselves-#-and it seemed like leaf abandoned and killed lonliness bc she felt like he wasn't worth the hauntings she was suffering from.#she's a much more compelling character in the OG for that reason despite never having a line of dialogue in it.#i also just like when girls commit crimes and aren't morally pure n innocent and it's sad to see that aspect of leaf/green be lost in AL:IA#that's not to say i DISLIKE the direction her character took in AL:IA- i just don't believe AL:IA should replace the original.#they're two entirely different stories being told but two sides of the same coin.#leaf is who green would be if green cracked under the pressure and took her fear out on the wrong enemy.#green is who leaf would be if leaf decided to persevere through the hauntings and choose to love lonliness despite it.#to me neither ending is 'better' than the other. it's all a matter of if you like good endings or bad ones in your horror story-#-and unfortunately i lean towards the latter ahaha...
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