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borathae · 2 years

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”When you find an unconscious man bearing the mark of the Ravens on his chest washed up on the riverbed, you have to choose between your duties as a healer and your instincts as a woman.”

Pairing: Bandit!Seokjin x Healer!Reader

Genre: Fantasy, s2l!AU, Romance, Smut

Warnings: lots of plot, healing from a traumatic past, wounds & mentions of blood, very mild hatred in the beginning, some bickering which later turns into flirting, so much yearning, virgin!Seokjin, subby!Seokjin, soft dom!Reader, nudity, bondage in some sort, she feeds him while he's sick :'), he is very eager to learn, he is also such a cutie :(, lots of kissing, neck kisses, praises, breast massage, the goodest boy!Jinnie, handjob, fingering, mutual masturbation, they are very needy for each other

Wordcount: 22.4k

a/n: Seriously, the more stories I write about this universe, the harder I fall in love with it. Each time I create a little thing or a new animal or some type of food, I am filled with so much joy. I love this world so much! Also, Seokjin really did it to me :( he is such a sweet man in this story, I wanna protect him :( I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed working on it 💚

~ Go to Index ~

You woke up with a strange feeling in your stomach.

Today was going to be a cursed day for you.

The feeling in your stomach has never lied to you before nor was it ever wrong.

Oh how you hated its accuracy, because as you rolled out of bed and hit your toe on the corner of your bed, you knew that it was once again right.

It continued at breakfast when the fire turned out to be hotter than on other days and burned the last of your eggs and meat. You had to eat the last two pieces of slightly dried up bread and when you looked into your jug, you had to realise in horror that Kukuruz - your cat - had drunk the last of your milk while you were sleeping.

“Kukuruz”, you had hissed at him, but he was slumbering peacefully on the window sill, “oh you cursed animal, may you wake up with a belly ache.”

Your bad luck continued as you hung up your laundry and dropped one of the pieces in the wet mud. Oh how you had cursed, because now you had to go down to the river to wash it again. And the curse didn’t stop, it continued on your way to town when your dress got stuck on some thorns and ripped at the seam.

“Oh how I truly hate this day!” you screamed at the skies, lifting your fist and waving it around.

Even in town your curse followed you like an unwanted shadow. Not only did the egg merchant sell the last eggs right before your eyes, but you had also forgotten your gold at home. You had to come to the painful realisation when you had to give up the most delicious looking piece of smoked meat because you couldn’t pay for it.

So you left the market just as empty handed as you had entered it, feeling less and less happy about ever setting foot outside your bed.

“I should have just stayed in bed”, you murmur, “my stomach was never wrong before, fatuous woman why did you not listen?” you grumble, almost running into low branches hadn’t you dodged them in the last moment.

You laugh in disbelief, gawking at them with big eyes.

“Truly, I must be cursed today”, you say and decide to be extra careful on your remaining way home. It wasn’t long anymore. Just past that glade and through the tunnel of conifer trees and your little cottage would be in arm’s reach.

It was your mother’s cottage once and her mother’s before that. It was a little outside of town, a tense conifer forest was separating it from it. But the paths were well walked on and the forest safe, except for the occasional boar and the mean tree fairies, which more often than not, loved growing roots in front of people’s feet to make them stumble and fall. One could hear their laughter in the rustling of the leaves and the creaking of branches. But they were harmless otherwise, they just loved playing tricks.

You didn’t encounter any of the little tricksters today. It truly surprised you. Out of all the days, you expected them today the most. They must be busy getting the trees ready for winter. While the tree fairies on foliage trees went to sleep together with their mothers, the tree fairies on conifer trees worked hard during the colder months to help their mothers keep their green dresses. Only now and then one of them found time in their busy day to play a quick trick on some humans, which made the entire forest rustle and croak in laughter if the trick was successful. And somehow it seemed that on such days the forest looked greener the next day, as if the fairies needed a good laugh to find more energy again.

You leave the tense canopy of spruce branches behind you, stepping onto the glade of your cottage. It was a spacious meadow, allowing the sun to shine on the ground and for a variety of plants to grow. The Singing River, which was just a hundred steps down the shallow slope, offered plenty of the clearest water. Your meadow never had to suffer from drought. It was truly a blessing. Especially as a healer, who depended heavily on the health of her many healing plants and herbs.

The air smells different here. Sweet and herbal from all the plants you were growing in the warmer months. The scent lingered even in winter as if it had already become part of the land. Perhaps it liked staying here with you and the warm sun.

“Finally”, you say and quicken your steps. Not long anymore and you are finally in the safety of your own home again. Nothing can go wrong now.

You hurry up the stairs.

Crack.

You stop and take a step back.

A ring. Golden with a silver gemstone in the middle.

“What is that?”

You bend down to pick it up and inspect it. You bite it first. It doesn’t bend under your teeth, which means that it was real.

“Where did this come from?” you murmur, looking left and right to see if you can spot a person.

You can’t. Your glade is empty.

“Huh.”

You look back at the ring. You have seen rings like such before. As the best healer in the Night Queendom you often find yourself in the Queen’s castle. You sometimes see rings like that on Her fingers.

“How did you come here?” you ask it, “did a bird drop you?”

You look up at the sky. There was no bird to spot.

“Or did magic bring you to me?”

But you would have sensed if someone tried to use magic on your land.

“Perhaps you were sent to me by the universe to break my curse?”

You slip it on your finger and then turn.

You will sell it in town and then use the money to buy the delicious smoked meat and another jug of milk.

You return successful from the market. Your basket is filled with the smoked meat and a big jug of milk and even the egg merchant had a small box of eggs back in stock. You bought all them and even treated yourself to a delicious apple. It was the last of the farmer’s successful crop, sweet with a hint of sour in its taste. Exactly how you enjoyed your apples.

The ring must have broken your curse, so you thought as you walked back home with a happy skip in your steps.

“Good morning, Kukuruz”, you greet your cat, who had woken by now and is now circling your legs as you hurry through the cottage, “have you eaten yet?”

Mreow.

“No?” you bend down and pick him up.

Kukuruz rests gladly in your arm, watching you unload your basket. His tiny legs are pulled to his body, his soft tummy is exposed and his long tail is wiggling left and right contently.

“I know you drank my milk last night.”

Mreow.

“No no, don’t blame this on the fairies. This was your doing. I found your fur on the jug.”

Meow.

“As I thought. But worry not Kukuruz, I forgive you. The most peculiar thing happened to me. I found a golden ring on our porch and you won’t believe how much it was worth.”

You pull two big bags of gold free.

“Look! This will last us till summer!” you exclaim excitedly, "and I can still save some for the bathing tub!"

But Kukuruz seemed more interested in the smoked meat, beginning to wiggle in your arms.

“By Frenya, you are such a gluttonous cat”, you murmur, setting him down, “go to your bowl, I will cut some meat for you.”

The black cat struts off with a certain bounce in his steps. He sits down in front of his bowl and meows loudly, watching you with his tail moving back and forth on the floor and his emerald eyes widened in curiosity.

You cut a piece for yourself, nibbling on it as you fill his bowl with food.

“There we go”, you tell him and pet his head, “enjoy.”

Kukuruz thanks you with a purr and begins eating deliciously.

“Very well”, you stand up, “I am outside, getting the laundry and then some water from the river. Don’t you dare stick your head into my milk or else I will turn you into a bug.”

Mreow.

"I heard that."

With your basket resting on your left hip, you hurry outside and down the three steps which separate your porch from the grass. Your clothesline was located right next to your cottage. On the wooden posts rambler roses were climbing into the skies and behind the line, a spacious bed of different mints was located. The mints liked the climate there. Slight shade and enough space to spread. It always smelled nicely here. That is why you decided to put your clothing line on this spot of land. You believe that the scent of mint will soak your fabrics and make them smell nicer for longer.

You stop and gawk at your clothing line.

“By Frenya”, you murmur.

Your clothes are gone. Except for two dresses and one kitchen towel, the clothing lines are empty.

“Thieves!” you yell, twisting and turning with your eyes burning in anger, “who took my clothes?!”

Oh you are furious! This is outrageous! Who dared to come to your cottage only to steal your clothes? Oh, if you would catch them, they would flee in fear.

“May the Morguls eat your toes while you are sleeping!” you scream, hoping they can hear you.

Now, the clothes weren’t your favourites, thank Frenya. But there were useful and sturdy and they kept your legs warm in the colder months. You rip your remaining clothes from the lines and throw them into your basket.

“Truly, I don’t wish bad on people, but oh may they find snails in their food”, you murmur, punching the small heap of clothes, “this day is cursed! I hate this!”

With your face contorted in a frown, you stomp back to your cottage. You basically kick in your door, startling Kukuruz, who has caught some sun rays on the windowsill just before.

“You won’t believe what happened to me!” you tell him loudly and drop the basket on the floor, “someone took my clothes! I am cursed, truly cursed.”

The black cat tilts his head to the side and licks over his nose.

“I know Kukuruz, that is what I said too. May the Morguls eat their toes”, you growl and huff out air.

You cross your arms in front of your chest and sit down on your wooden stool.

“How could this happen? Why would someone come here just to steal from me?” you ask no one in particular.

Kukuruz struts to the kitchen counter and sits down in front of the two bags of gold.

Mreow.

You look at him and the gold.

“You are a genius!” you exclaim, “they must have been the one putting the ring on my porch!”

Mreow.

“I know, it is peculiar. Why would they take my clothes only to then leave something so expensive behind?”

Mreow.

“You truly think so? You think that they paid for the clothes with the ring?”

Kukuruz stands up and struts back to the window sill. He lies down, rolling himself into a tiny ball of black fur.

Mreow.

“Truly, you are a genius Kukuruz. They must have been travellers, who were dressed too coldly and when they realised that I wasn’t home to offer them a pair of pants, they took them from my clothing line and paid with their ring.”

Mreow.

“Oh Kukuruz you helped me feel better, truly. What would I do without you?”

Mreow.

You laugh, “oh now you are just being cocky”, you say in a fond chuckle and stand up. You grab your bucket, “I will be by the river fetching water.”

The Singing River is calm where you live. It is just two valleys and a forest away from where it starts in the Snowy Mountains. It hasn’t reached its true width and anger yet. The riverbeds were around five big steps apart and the water was clear and calm, reaching you just below you ribs. It was freezing in the colder months but was warm enough to bathe comfortably in, during the warmer months. It also offered many different kinds of wildlife to eat and even more different kinds of plants to use for potions.

You made your own little crook in the riverbed. You had dug out the earth so the water would reach you in a gentle slope and you could enter the river comfortably. You use it to wash your clothes and fetch water and also for bathing.

You slow down your steps.

It looks different today. Someone is resting on it. He seems to be sleeping in the sun.

You squint your eyes.

“Huh”, you gasp, widening your eyes and quickening your steps.

He wasn’t sleeping! His clothes were clearly soaked in water and his left leg was leaking blood. It had formed a little puddle by now.

“Good Sir!” you call out, “good Sir, are you alright?”

The man doesn’t answer you, he doesn’t even move.

You drop your bucket and squat down beside him. His hair was as black as the feathers of ravens and his face was pale in cold, his lips blue and purple.

“Oh dear, oh dear”, you touch the side of his neck.

His skin was icy. His pulse was barely there.

“What happened to you?” you murmur, turning your attention to the wound on his leg.

Teeth must have dug themselves into his flesh. His black pants were ripped where the animal bit him, showing torn skin and muscle.

“Oh that is a truly nasty wound you have here”, you murmur.

You rip a piece of your dress off. The thorns had already ruined it either way. You bind his thigh right above the wound tightly enough to stop the bleeding.

The man hisses in his unconsciousness and moves his head.

“I must get you out of this cold”, you decide and sneak a glance at your cottage, “oh this is going to be a long way.”

You grab the man under his armpits tightly and begin dragging him up the hill.

“You are so heavy, by Frenya”, you grunt, “couldn’t the river have washed up someone less muscular?”

At one point you accidentally dropped the poor man, making him groan. You picked him up in an instant and apologized quietly.

“If you would only work with me a little.”

Dragging him up your stairs was the part most difficult. You didn’t want to hurt him and yet with every step, you dragged his limp legs up the pumpy stairs, the man let out a quiet hiss of discomfort.

“Forgive me, oh forgive me”, you murmured each time, flinching with him.

The truest struggle of them all however, was when you tried to lift him on top of your bed.

You had two beds in your cottage. One for your patients and one in the backroom for you to sleep in. The bed for your patients wasn’t quite as high as your private bed, but despite that advantage, lifting his heavy body was no easy task.

You feel out of breath once you had managed to lift him, finding support on the foot end of the bed by leaning against it.

“Truly”, you huff out air, “you are one heavy fella.”

You take one last deep breath, then clap into your hand.

“Now, enough whining. Let’s get you out of your clothes.”

You have undressed countless people in your long career as a healer. Women, men, children, even non human creatures. They were all just living beings to you, needing your help and care. You saw nothing peculiar in it and they saw nothing peculiar in being undressed.

Today however undressing your patient turns out to be more than peculiar. You started with his pants, working slowly and beyond carefully in order not to hurt his wound. The ruined pants you threw into a bucket. You will dry them and stitch them back up later. It wasn’t peculiar until then, it started when you began taking off his upper body clothing. The ripped fur slipped off his shoulders easily, soaking your floors once you had discarded it. His black tunic opened easily.

“By Frenya!” you exclaim.

That was the moment the peculiar started.

A black raven tattoo was burned into his chest. He was one of them. A Raven of the Black Forest, the group of men who had sworn to kill every woman they come across. Your aunt fell victim to them and two girls from your village as well. All three of them were mutilated and abused by those gruesome men.

You swore to never help such monsters and that if you ever had the chance to annihilate every single one of them, you would take it. And now one of them is resting in your bed, unconscious, wounded and unable to fight back.

You act quickly. You run to your dresser and grab the knife, which you usually use for collecting plants and branches. You have it pressed against the man’s throat within seconds, twisting his hair between your fingers.

“I will kill you monster”, you spit, tilting his head up. It makes the blade glide over his skin, forcing it to break at one spot and leak one droplet of blood.

The man groans at the feeling, opening and closing his lips.

You falter.

The sound was filled with pain. The kind of pain you have heard from so many of your patients. It was a sound a person would make. It was a human sound.

You loosen the grip around his hair.

The monster made a human sound.

You study his features. Pale and relaxed. He had a forehead like everyone else, he had a nose like everyone else, he had eyes like everyone else, a mouth and cheeks and brows as well. He looked like a human.

Your fingers slip from his hair.

“What am I doing here?” you ask yourself, “I consider killing a living creature when I swore to heal them. Have I lost my mind?”

The knife slips from your fingers, landing on the floor with a dull sound. It landed directly on the person’s fur, which muffled the otherwise shrill sound.

“By Frenya, I almost killed a person”, you murmur, touching your own cheeks, “I, I must remember my duties. I am no killer, I am a healer. I save people, not end their life. If he turns out to be a monster I can still kill him. Yes? I won’t regret this, will I?”

You sleep restlessly that night, waking with every little sound the earth makes and thinking that it was the stranger coming to kill you. You know it was impossible as you made sure that even if he woke when you were asleep, he wouldn’t be able to hurt you.

You had to tie down countless people in your time as a healer. People tend to wiggle quite a great deal when they are being operated on, so one needs to know strong and secure knots in order to hold them down and minimise the chances of hurting them accidentally.

But despite that security, you wake up with heavy eyes and weak limbs the next morning. The sun was already shining and by your feet Kukuruz was licking your big toe.

“Good morning”, you greet him with your voice hoarse in exhaustion.

Mreow.

“I’m glad you did, I slept terribly”, you say and yawn, “the stranger kept me awake.”

Mreow.

You smile tiredly, “that makes me feel better. Thank you for taking watch.”

Mreow.

“Tzt. You ruined it again. Fine, I am already getting up to prepare your breakfast. By Frenya, you are such a gluttonous cat.”

Kukuruz follows you, circling your legs and rubbing his head against your calves every now and then with a deep purr vibrating in his chest.

You sneak a glance at the stranger as you pass by him. He was still sleeping, having turned his head to the other side. His lips are parted, they don’t seem so blue anymore. As a matter of fact, they have gained a pinkish glow to them.

His skin also feels warm to the touch when you check and his pulse has sped up considerably from last night.

These are all good signs. It means that your treatment helped.

“Stay, I’ll be back with medicine after making breakfast for my greedy cat”, you tell him, poking his cheek rather harshly.

It makes him roll his head to the other side and then sigh in his sleep.

Once Kukuruz was taken care of and you have prepared your own breakfast, you return to your patient. He was still sleeping, resting in the same position you left him in.

You sit down on the chair and relax back, biting into your bread with smoked meat and egg.

“You know, you are lucky that I am such a good-hearted person”, you tell him with your mouth stuffed, “other people would have left you by the riverbed.”

The man shows no signs that he heard you, sleeping soundly.

You take a sip of your warm milk and take another bite of your food afterwards.

“I wonder what happened to you. Did you fight Woltron?”

You slurp loudly and swallow the contents of your mouth happily.

“Doesn’t matter”, you say and relax with a content sigh, “I have my breakfast and that is all that matters.”

He shifts then.

You freeze up in an instant, staring at him without chewing your food.

"What are you doing? Don’t move", you tell him.

He shifts again, groaning softly.

“Oh dear, are you waking up?” you ask him.

He rolls his head into a position so that it would rest on the back of it.

You reach for the knife hastily, pointing it at the stranger with shaking hands.

His eyes open slowly, blinking heavily to get used to the light.

“Mhm”, he lets out and closes them again. He tries to roll to his side afterwards, but the ropes holding his arms down prevent it from happening.

He opens his eyes quickly, lifting his head.

“What the?” he presses out and tugs on the ropes, “what in heaven's name is going on here?”

His eyes land on you.

“Who are you?” he asks, eyes flitting to the knife, “did you tie me up?”

“Don’t move!” you warn him, waving the knife around.

He dodges it skilfully, “what are you doing?”

“You, you, y-you are a Raven, aren’t you?” you ask him, extending your arm.

He eyes the knife before he snorts.

“What are you trying to do here? Cut me open? What that grip?”

You look at the way your fingers grasp the knife. It looks slightly clumsy.

“Excuse me?” you drop your arm, “I am very capable of holding a knife.”

“Of course”, he says and begins tugging on the ropes again.

You lift the knife again, hating your arm for shaking so much.

“Don’t move.”

“Well, can you untie me first? Or tell me your name and why you have me tied up in the first place?”

“I found you by the riverbed. You were unconscious and your left leg was chewed on, so I dragged you here and took care of your wound.”

He looks down at his covered legs and scoffs.

“Fuck”, he lets out, dropping his head into the pillows, “I remember falling into the river after being ambushed by a wolf.”

“Yes, Woltron. He doesn’t like Ravens.”

“It wasn’t Woltron, it was a normal wolf. Small, agile and way too fast to escape from”, he says and tugs on the ropes again.

It makes you grip your knife tighter and lift it again. He eyes it.

“What? Are you truly planning on killing me after saving me? Why go through all the trouble then?”

“You, y-you don’t know me. P-perhaps I am a dangerous witch, w-who likes eating men alive.”

He blinks rapidly before breaking into laughter.

“Don’t laugh”, you hiss.

He laughs louder, it sounds way more high-pitched than you had imagined it would, perhaps even a little squeaky.

“Oh forgive me”, he says and laughs, “but you are no witch, you are fooling no one here.”

“Tzt”, you click your tongue, “you are rude.”

“I am not the one who tied you up.”

“Well, accept it”, you say and cross your arms in front of your chest, “this is to make sure you don’t escape before your wound is healed.”

“Of course and it is not because you are scared of me.”

“You-“ you lift the knife again, pressing the tip into his cheek, “-I will poke you in the eye if you keep up this attitude.”

He eyes the knife before looking at your face. He scoffs in amusement.

“I am already quiet”, he says and chuckles.

“Tzt”, you click your tongue, pulling the knife away and discarding it on the dresser. Then you continue eating your bread, sending dark looks the stranger’s way.

He seems mesmerised by the food, gawking at it with his tongue licking over his lips repeatedly.

“What?” you challenge him.

“Give me some”, he orders.

“That?” you show him the food, guiding it to his lips.

He lifts his head, opening his mouth in preparation.

“Why should I?” you say, pulling the food away again, “I don’t want to share with murderers.”

He grunts, closing his mouth to frown instead.

“So why safe me? Just to torture me with starvation and your terrible knife skills?”

“Ha!” you exclaim and laugh.

“Stop laughing and give me food”, he spits.

“And why should I?”

“Because I haven’t eaten in days and it hurts.”

You give him an icy glare. Keeping your patients alive is one of your duties and that means cooking meals for them and making sure they are well fed and hydrated. Oh, how you are cursing the oath you swore.

“By Frenya, I should have never rescued you”, you murmur, standing up from your chair groggily, “what do you want?”

“Just anything.”

You prepare a hearty porridge for him, adding some of the smoked meat and an onion from your garden in it. Kukuruz watched you as you cooked, but didn’t move as the sunrays hit his back most perfectly in his resting position.

You also prepare a jug of water for him as he must be terribly parched.

You bring the meal to him on a wooden tray, carrying tubes of medicine as well.

He had been resting his eyes, but opened them when he heard you come back. Now he is watching you, eyes glued to the tray in your hands.

“What did you get? Is it good? Can I have some?” he stresses, tugging at the ropes in an attempt to sit up.

“By Frenya, you are just as gluttonous as my cat”, you murmur, setting the tray down on the chair.

He eyes it hungrily, mouth watering to the point that he has to gulp.

“Here, open up”, you say, guiding the filled spoon to his lips.

He opens his mouth gladly, almost swallowing the entire spoon just from how greedily he eats. You watch him with your nose scrunched up in disgust. Of course, a Raven has no table manners whatsoever. You didn’t expect anything else.

He chews and hums, nodding his head.

“Very good”, he says, opening his mouth afterwards so you could feed him more.

You do so not because you want to, but because it was your duty to do so.

“How did you get into this situation in the first place? Aren’t you Ravens supposed to be great fighters?”

He shrugs his shoulders, waiting for a new bite with his eyes glued to the spoon. It is remarkable how happily he allows you to feed him.

"Well then I'm not surprised that a simple wolf won over you", you murmur, basking in the dark look he sends your way. It is a small victory in your fight against the Ravens. To see one look offended by you feels great.

The stranger swallows his food and speaks.

"It only won because I was weakened by running for long."

"So you were running. Where to? Where from?"

The stranger merely takes a bite and eats with his dark eyes glued to your equally dark eyes.

"I bet you were out hurting innocent women and girls."

"I wasn’t. I ran from.." he hesitates, then shakes his head, "...give me more food and maybe then I'll talk."

“By Frenya, you truly are like my cat.”

The stranger closes his lips around the spoon and slurps up the porridge hungrily. He chews it and swallows, opening his mouth again. And so you feed him another bite, making sure that you don’t drip any of it on his chest. That would surely burn and wouldn’t make a good impression of you as a healer.

“So where are you coming from? The Black Forest? Did a monster chase you?”

He shakes his head.

“Truly? Aren’t you Ravens supposed to live in it?”

He swallows the food down.

“And that means that we can’t find ourselves in other places as well?”

“I never stated this”, you say, muffling him by sticking another spoonful of porridge into his mouth.

He makes a sound of surprise, sending you a furious glare. It leaves you unaffected. You may not be able to kill him, but that doesn’t mean that you will be gentle with the way you are feeding him.

You are gentle when you feed him the water, solely for the reason that you do not want to change his sheets in case you spilled some of the liquid. He drinks it greedily, doing so with his eyes closed and his brows furrowed.

“You must be careful, you will choke. Careful”, you warn him, supporting his head.

He grunts, swallowing greedily. He swallows and swallows until suddenly he gasps and coughs.

“See?” you say, hitting his upper back to help him, “I told you that your greed will be your downfall.”

He sends you a glare, one return all too willingly. He coughs one last time then parts his lips again, eyeing the cup greedily. You place it against his lips, watching him drink the water with your fingers buried deep in his hair.

The stranger finishes the entire cup, allowing you to lay his head down on the pillow once done. He watches you carry the dirty dishes to your work counter.

"Are you finally ready to answer my question?" you ask him, standing by the counter.

"Are you finally ready to untie my arms?"

"No."

"Then I'm not ready either."

"Tch."

You turn, walking back to the bed. You sit down on the chair, letting your eyes run up and down his body for long enough that the stranger shifts uncomfortably.

“What are you going to do to me now?” he asks, trying and failing to hide the nervousness in his voice.

“I have to take a look at your wound. It is most crucial that I do.”

“And I have to be tied down for that?”

You reach for the tray of medicine and scoot closer, keeping your eyes locked on him.

“Yes”, you state matter-of-factly.

The stranger scoffs.

“So I can’t flee when you poison me?”

“Oh by Frenya, you said so yourself. Why go through the effort of saving you just to end up killing you?”

The stranger swallows what he had wanted to say, clicking his tongue in distaste. You send him a triumphant grin, then reach for the blanket. You pull it off his legs halfway, making sure that his precious parts are covered.

“You undressed me?” he gasps.

“Yes, your clothes were wet and had many holes. Besides, I had to get to your wound.”

“How dare you? I gave you no permission to do such things.”

“Oh forgive me that I couldn’t get my answer when you were knocked out cold.”

“Tzt.”

“But worry not, you are not the first I see. It is actually quite common to see people in their bared state in my field of work.”

“Who are you?”

“I am me”, you tease, sending him an amused grin.

He rolls his eyes but gasps when he feels your fingers on his thigh.

"Careful.”

“Worry not, I am very careful”, you tell him, inspecting the stitches, “you got lucky you were unconscious last night. Your wound is pretty deep, so I had to stitch it up.”

“Yes, the wolf bit me quite deep.”

“It did. It even got a little chunk of you. That must have been a good treat for him”, you joke and to your surprise he actually chuckles.

You and him exchange a quick look before you return to cleaning the stitches. That felt awkward. You never intended to make a Raven laugh.

“I fixed it for you. You got lucky you fell into the river. The cold water helped the blood vessels close up. I just had to clean it and stitch it back up.”

You wring out the cloth and press it against his skin, cleaning it off most tentatively.

“How do you know so much?” he asks.

“I’m a healer.”

“I have never met a healer before, at least not a woman.”

“Truly? You have met male healers?” you have to chuckle, “this is most remarkable, given how people don’t trust men to be able to handle such an important profession.”

“Well, this is nothing but sexism. We can be great healers too.”

“Now, now I never said that I believe in what the people say. I am sure you men have the talent for it.”

“Yes, we do. We have many talents and potential.”

“Of course, I believe you.”

“Don’t mock me”, he hisses, furrowing his brows.

“Please don’t think I did. I was being truthful”, you give him a smile, “my cousin works as a healer in the Nourishing Fields. He is a very talented healer.”

“Oh”, the stranger says and relaxes his features. Not for long as a sharp burn runs through his leg a second later. He groans and frowns.

“I know it burns”, you tell him, watching him tense up, “but it is supposed to feel that way. It is the magic which has this effect. It is quite the effective healing potion.”

“So you are a witch?”

“In a way I am, but I am most definitely not the type of witch you Ravens believe women to be.”

“Tzt.”

You give him a grin, then turn your attention to the healing potion. It was green in colour, gaining an emerald glow once you spread it on the wound. The stranger gasps and tenses his thigh.

“Are you sure that this is safe?”

“Yes of course it is. Trust me, I am very skilled in potion making.”

“Why aren’t you using your magic to heal me? Why use potions?”

“Well, you see. My magic works differently. I can use it to detect wounds and illnesses and I can infuse my potions with it, but it doesn’t really work with mending torn flesh or fixing broken bones. I can help nature, but I sadly can’t bend it.”

“But there are healers who can do such things, I have seen it be done.”

“Yes, of course there are such healers. The Menders, but they are quite the show-offs if you asked me”, you say, giving him a small smile.

He chuckles again. It is a nice chuckle. As much as it pains you to admit it, it is a nice chuckle.

“Yes, I know. We have a Mender in our circles and he is such a show-off", he says.

You laugh, “I see we are sharing a common nuisance.”

“Yes, we do.”

You exchange a smile. It was honest on both sides.

“I’m ___”, you tell him.

“My name is Seokjin”, he answers you.

“Nice to meet you Seokjin. You are actually quite decent for a Raven.”

“Thank you. You are quite decent for a woman too", he jokes.

He makes you chuckle.

“Now lift your leg, I have to wrap it up so the potion doesn’t rub off.”

He follows and watches you work. You tighten the white bandages with a skilled knot, smoothing over his thigh once done.

“How is that? Is it too tight?”

“No, it feels comfortable.”

“Well then, relax. Your clothes should be dried by now”, you tell him and stand up to leave.

Your cottage is surprisingly spacious. You have your work room in the front. It is the room you come in first when you enter. It houses a patient bed, shelves for your many books and potions, a working table and your kitchen, which has a wonderful view out on the meadow and the Singing River. To the left are your living quarters. One room, which houses your bed and more shelves for more of your books. It also houses a big fireplace, which is currently crackling and warming the cottage. It also dries the Raven Seokjin’s clothes and one of your tunics, which you will use later for sleeping. Your buttery was just left of the fireplace through a wooden door. To the right, just past the fireplace a doorway leads to a small washing room. It was not big and most definitely not luxurious, but it housed a washing bowl and a toilet seat. Which was most convenient in winter as you didn’t have to leave the warmth of your cottage to do your business. You are also currently saving up for a bathtub. You dreamt of having one after visiting the Queen to sell Her some of your sleep inducing bathing oils. You snuck a glimpse at her bathing tub then and decided to save up for your own. It will still take some time, but you are patient.

“You are lucky. Your clothes have dried over night”, you tell Seokjin as you return.

He lifts his head, propping himself up on his elbows.

“I stitched the holes in them, so you don’t have to worry about feeling the wind on your skin.”

You place the clothes on top of his stomach. He eyes them.

“Tell me, how should I put them on when my hands are still tied?” he asks, lifting them as high as the ropes allow him to.

“Oh yes, I completely forgot.”

Once your knife was grabbed, you loosen the knots, taking a cautious step back and pointing the knife at him. He eyes it and scoffs in amusement.

“I see that I am still at knife point here.”

“I’m just making sure. I don’t let a pretty face and comfortable conversation trick me.”

“Yes indeed, I am quite handsome”, he agrees and sits up.

You try not to laugh, but the corners of your mouth still curl upwards. He isn’t lying. He is very handsome. His torso carried strength and muscles, his shoulders were broad and perfectly defined. His legs were long and perfectly proportionate to the rest of his body. You also think that his thighs look very tempting, especially in those tight linen pants of his'. He pulls the tunic over his head, messing up his raven hair. It was longer in the back, framing his face in a way that draws your eyes to it. He had a handsome face. His eyes were dark in colour and fit perfectly on his head, his nose was straight, guiding your eyes down to his lips. Plumb and pink, they were chapped from the winter winds, but looked better than last night after you put some moisturizing oils on them.

“So why are you here?” you ask him, watching him fix how the shirt sits on his torso.

“I escaped the Queen’s castle.”

“What?” you gasp. He is a fugitive. You are housing a criminal. Quick. You need to act quick. You grab your knife harder and point it at him.

“Not that bad grip again”, he says, sounding amusedly exhausted.

“Hands behind your back!” you tell him loudly, “I shall bring you back to Her, criminal!”

Seokjin lifts his hands and smiles.

“I am no criminal, I did what had to be done.”

Everything falls into place now.

“You killed the Queen?” you squeak out, “that is why you ran? Because you killed Her?”

“What?” he laughs loudly, throwing his head back.

“Don’t laugh, murderer”, you hiss, stepping closer to poke his stomach with the knife.

But Seokjin is quicker, grabbing your wrists and using your strength against you. He makes you drop the knife and twirls you.

“Eek”, you squeak, falling.

He catches you before you can fall on your butt, now having your body cradled in his arms and tilted back slightly.

“I told you”, he whispers, letting his breath swirls over your lips, “you have terrible knife skills.”

By Frenya, your heart fluttered.

“And just so you know, I didn’t kill the Queen. I escaped because I didn’t want to live under yet another ruler”, he says, letting his eyes flit to your lips for just a second.

“Well I”, you feel your heart flutter again and your eyes flit to his lips as well. By Frenya, they look so tempting up-close. Pink and so incredibly pillowy.

Seokjin tilts his head, moving closer.

“I hah”, you let out, turning your head away, “let go of me.”

Seokjin sighs in disappointment and helps you straighten up. He steps back, but not after allowing his hand to linger on your lower back for just a second too long.

You fix your collar, clearing your throat.

“You!” you exclaim, scurrying to retrieve the knife. "You!", you point the knife at him, “you rascal! How dare you!” you call out dramatically, trying to cover up just how flustered he has gotten you.

Seokjin snickers, lifting his arms above his head.

“You are funny”, he says, earning himself a slight poke into the chest.

“You are such rude man. You will sit on the bed now and behave”, you warn, poking him again.

“Ah okay, okay I am already sitting”, he says, “dear heavens, the woman really poked me with a knife”, he mumbles to himself, rubbing the spot you touched.

Seokjin studies your figure.

“And now?” he asks, sitting on the bed dressed and with his eyes fixated on the knife.

“Now I want you to put your hands on your lap.”

He follows. You inch closer to him, pressing the knife against his throat once close enough.

“Don’t move or else I’ll cut you”, you warn.

He smirks, “I won’t move.”

“Good”, you say, squatting down in front of him.

You place the knife on your lap and snatch some spare ropes, wrapping them around his wrists quickly. You know the knots by memory, so working quickly doesn’t mean that you don’t work diligently. Just seconds later, his wrists are bound in a way that allows them no movement. You pick up your knife again, locking eyes with him.

“So now I’m your prisoner?”

“Yes, until I figure out what to do with you.”

“What if I have to go to the loo?”

“Then you can be creative. I’m sure you have lots of practice in holding your cock.”

He laughs, “and why should I?”

“Because I know you Ravens don’t have women. How else should you find your release?”

“We”, he blinks in confusion, “touching ourselves is forbidden. It lets the demons inside.”

“By Frenya”, you murmur, “Rafkan is one crazy fella, isn’t he?”

Seokjin furrows his brows, “well, it doesn’t?”

“Of course not”, you say and chuckle, “hell, if you asked me, it actually helps with your demons. You know? One stressful day, a quick”, you mimic jerking off, “and you are good to go again.”

His face is ruby instantly, the colour even spreads to his ears.

“No!” he exclaims, widening his eyes, “no, I would never”, he insists, having to lower his head in coyness.

It is quite adorable how easily he flustered. You chuckle and stand up, giving his head a soft pat.

“Either way, you should rest some more, the cold gave your body quite the hard time. It is best if you sleep it off before a fever takes hold of you.”

“What will you do?”

“I have patients to care for, worry not I will still keep an eye on you”, you say and just seconds later a knock on your door lets you know that your first patient had just arrived.

It has been a week since you found Seokjin washed up by the riverbed. He is still with you, having gained the privilege of free limbs under the condition that he will help you keep the cottage clean. He accepted because his leg still needed to heal and he also didn’t want to stay in the cold outside. So he agreed on being your servant for the time being, preparing food when you are busy and keeping the work counters clean for your next patient.

He is actually quite the remarkable servant. Hardworking too. And most definitely handsome. Oh dear, here you are again staring at his face when he doesn’t notice. You break your eyes away from him, looking at the books you had read through before.

“Seokjin”, you call his attention.

“Yes?” he asks, limping to you.

“Would you mind bringing me the bottles of ghostworth please?”

“Ghostworth? How do they look?”

“The translucent ones. Worry not, it’s labelled.”

You hear him limb to your herbs cabinet and come to a standstill. Silence. More silence. Even more silence.

You turn to check on him. He is looking at the cabinet, fumbling with the bottles while mumbling something to himself.

“Seokjin?”

“I almost got it”, he says and whispers to himself again, squinting his eyes.

You stand up and close the distance between you and him.

“I got it”, he says, moving closer to the shelf.

“It’s here”, you say, pointing at the bottle at which he is staring, “ghostworth, it reads right there.”

“Yes! Exactly”, he takes out of the shelf, “I was just about to grab it.”

He hands it to you with his ears and cheeks burning up. Oh this is peculiar. You ought to investigate.

“Seokjin, what does this bottle read?” you ask him, pointing at the random bottle on the shelf.

He looks at it, squinting his eyes. Panic washes over his features.

“Basil”, he says.

“Mint”, you answer him, furrowing your brows.

He seems disappointed, sagging his shoulders.

“You can’t read, can you?”

With his eyes lowers he turns to you, shaking his head.

“Oh dear, oh dear.”

“Don’t mock me”, he hisses, feeling embarrassed.

“I’m not”, you assure him then give him a smile, “do you want me to teach you?”

“You would do that?”

“Yes of course, come follow me. I will teach you.”

Seokjin follows gladly, sitting down next to you with a quill and some paper ready. Oh, his eyes sparkle oh so much, his cheeks are glowing oh so much. You find it almost adorable just how eager he seems to learn the art of interpreting letters.

And so you spent the rest of your day teaching Seokjin the letters of your language, explaining to him how he can put them on paper and how to form them into words. Seokjin works diligently, scribbling the messiest letters at first before gaining great perfection in them. By the end of the day, he can even write his own name. He is currently trying to write down yours, sitting next to you at the work table.

“Look ___”, he calls your attention away from the medicine you were working on.

You turn and look at the letter covered sheet of paper. He points at your name he wrote in squiggly letters.

“This is your name.”

“Indeed it is.”

“Do you think it looks good?”

“Yes, indeed. You have a great talent for connecting the letters”, you say, making him beam in pride, “practice some more and you will be fluent in no time.”

“I will. I will practice all night”, he says excitedly and turns to his task again. With his tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth and his brows furrowed, he practices his letters while you prepare the medicine and later cook dinner. Even during dinner he has one eye on the letters constantly, reading them over and over so he wouldn’t forget them again.

"Do you enjoy this?" you ask him over the brim of your soup bowl.

"I do", he says, nodding his head vigorously, "I can't believe how easy this is."

You study his features.

"Can I ask. Can none of you read?"

"None of us?"

"Ravens. Do you never learn how to read?"

Seokjin shakes his head, "only Rafkan knows how to read. He says that it was a burden from his past and that he doesn’t want us to succumb to the horrors reading brings."

"Well, that sounds like horseshit", you scowl in distaste, "no wonder he is able to fill your heads with such lies when you poor boys can’t even read the real history of this queendom."

Seokjin lets out a breathy laugh, blinking his eyes in disbelief.

"I don't", he begins, but doesn’t find the right words to continue.

You sense his discomfort and give him a reassuring smile.

"You should eat the soup and practice more. I promise that you will find no horrors because of reading."

Seokjin nods his head, looking back into his papers.

"I want to read", he whispers more to himself than to you, "I really want to read."

It is deep into the night and you have just returned from the washing room. Seokjin’s sleeping place by the fireplace is still empty. By this time he would already be under his blanket with his head resting on his many pillows and Kukuruz slumbering by his head. Tonight however, only Kukuruz was occupying the fur.

“Seokjin?” you call out.

He should be here by now, slumbering peacefully.

“Are you still practicing?” you ask, entering your work room just to realise that Seokjin had fallen asleep by the desk. His cheek is squished against the surface, his lips are parted in calm breaths, the quill is still between his fingers.

You smile.

“Seokjin dear, wake up”, you tell him, shaking him softly.

He wakes with a gasp, flinching harshly. His head snaps up, revealing his ink covered cheek. He blinks his eyes at you sleepily.

“You shouldn’t sleep here, it will hurt your back. Come to bed.”

“I fell asleep”, he murmurs, letting you pull him to his feet in his sleep-drunken state. He stumbles after you, barely keeping his head up right.

“I know, it’s from all the practicing you've been doing. Now lie down, get comfortable.”

Seokjin allows you to tug him in and fluff up his pillow so his head would be comfortable. You reach out and wipe the ink of his cheek. It makes him blink at you sleepily and for his lips to curl into a tiny, almost content, smile.

“Sleep now”, you tell him softly.

“Thank you ___, I always wanted to be able to read”, he whispers, eyes reflecting the sparkles of the fire.

“And I’m sure you will be great at it in a few days.”

"Thank you so much…"

Seokjin closes his eyes and smiles. He falls asleep that way. Smiling.

Seokjin practices diligently the next day. You give him one of your easier books so he could copy words out of it and by the time the sun had passed its zenith, he already knew how to read a small passage of text. Now, you believe that he merely remembered the sounds of it after hours and hours of practice, but it was still impressive.

“___ please listen to that”, he calls your attention.

You have just said goodbye to a patient, now turning around to look at him.

“I am listening.”

Seokjin takes a deep breath.

“The mulberry fruit is sim…iliar in length and in…width than a thumb”, he speaks slowly, creasing his forehead in concentration. Then he lifts his head, looking at you with widened eyes, “I read that.”

“I heard”, you have to smile at him for you found him beyond adorable, “that was very good. You are a diligent student.”

He begins blushing, “thank you”, he says, barely containing his excitement, but managing to by hiding his mouth behind his hand.

The moment would have continued to be beautiful, hadn’t the door sprung open loudly and startled the both of you.

“Healer ___! Oh healer! Please, I am begging you, we need you!” a man, you know his name to be Yorm, screams.

His wife, Yelana was her name, was beside him. Her dress was covered in blood.

“What happened?” you are on high alert instantly, looking at their little daughter lying unconscious in her father’s arm.

“The Ravens! It was the Ravens! They ambushed our little Yela when she was playing in the forest! She is barely breathing and bleeding! Bleeding out of her stomach!”

“Put her down. Quick, be careful. Seokjin make space. We need the space.”

Seokjin stumbles to the side, clutching his little book while watching in horror as the crying parents have to lie down their little daughter. The blood has soaked through her dress, spilled all over her father’s tunic. She is barely breathing, looking to be in great pain.

You work quickly, diligently, carefully. Her dress you open, revealing the clashing wound on the side of her stomach. Seokjin feels disgusted. Not by the wound or the blood. But by who did this. The Ravens. His people hurt that little girl.

“How did this happen?” he asks the mother.

“Oh I don’t know”, she wails, “she was playing. She was merely playing. Why, oh why would they hurt my little girl? Why? She has done nothing wrong! She is just a little girl! Just a girl!”

“I’m so sorry”, he croaks, feeling his heart break when the mother begins crying miserably. She falls into her husband’s arms, who joins her painful wailing seconds later.

His people hurt that little girl.

Seokjin stares at her.

They hurt a little girl.

A child.

An innocent person.

“Seokjin!” your harsh voice rips him out of his painful trance.

“Y-yes?”

“Bring me the blood stopping potion. The one in the red bottle! Quick!”

Seokjin runs fast. He runs as fast as he can, fighting against his tears because of what his people did. He almost drops it as he hands it to you, apologizing for his clumsiness with a shaky voice.

“Bandages. Quick”, you however just bark your next order, already applying the potion to the little girl’s wound to finally stop the bleeding. A red glow fills the aura around her. The potion begins to work.

Seokjin can’t see that it does. He is too busy running and running and running to get the bandages. He has to be helpful. He has to save that little girl. His thigh is aching unbearably but he can’t let it stop him. He has to be quick.

He is limping as he runs, feeling out of breath.

“Bandages. Here.”

“Good. Open them. Get them ready, I will need them soon.”

“Yes! I will, oh god, I-I will.”

Seokjin works with shaking fingers. Oh why do they not want to open? Are they stuck together by magic? Come now, fingers! Work! You have to open those bandages! Open them!

“There we go”, he hears you say and watches as you straighten your back, “I closed the wound.”

“Oh by Frenya!” the mother and father exclaim behind him, “is she safe? Did you safe her?”

“Yes, you have nothing to worry about. The wound looked worse than it was. She will survive.”

Seokjin should feel relief, but he doesn’t. He is too shaken up. He can’t even be happy when the parents fall around your neck and thank you with loud sobs and promises of endless prayers for you.

He leaves in the end, once you told him to get some fresh air.

He doesn’t know what he did in that time. He sat, but felt numb in shock. He thought whilst thinking nothing at all. He felt whilst feeling nothing at all.

He is sitting on the stairs once you come out, staring at the ground with lifeless eyes.

“Hello there”, you greet him.

He blinks and turns his head. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at you with glassy eyes.

“How are you feeling?” you ask him.

He shows you his shaking hand.

“I can’t stop shaking”, he says and laughs painfully, “is this normal?”

“Yes, worry not. I was so shaken in my first few years as a healer that I couldn’t sleep afterwards. It gets better with time.”

“Hah”, he lets out and laughs again.

You know that this was a nervous reaction. When the brain gets overwhelmed, it tends to tell the body to laugh because otherwise it would be unable to handle the stress.

“Forgive me for putting you through this”, you say and offer him a mug of tea, “here, drink this. It will lessen the shakes.”

He accepts it and drinks it with two hands holding the mug. He lowers it afterwards, keeping it balanced on his thigh. His fingers are playing with the handle. It made a faint clicking sound each time he graced his fingernails over the material.

“We did this”, he says.

“I don’t seem to understand.”

“My people did this”, he says and touches his chest, “we hurt a little child.”

You eye the covered raven tattoo on his chest and the way his fingers twist his tunic painfully tight.

“Don’t compare yourself to those monsters. You didn’t hurt her, you saved her life. You are not the same as them.”

“And yet I was, not so long ago”, he lowers his head, “fuck, what have I done?”

“Seokjin, look at me.”

He lifts his head just enough to be able to look into your eyes.

“Your past is messy and dark and filled with mistakes, but it has passed and it can’t define who you want to be in the present.”

He furrows his brows.

“So don’t say that your people did this, because those monsters aren’t your people anymore and you surely aren’t their people either.”

“You truly think so?”

“Yes, I truly do.”

He smiles and while it looked sad, it was also filled with relief.

“Thank you”, he says barely audibly before having to look away and rub at his eyes to stop them from tearing up.

You reach out to give his upper back a gentle pat. He wasn’t shivering as much anymore.

“You did great in there. I mean it, you helped me a great deal”, you praise.

“Thank you. I had no idea what I was doing.”

You laugh, giving his back a gentle rub.

“You still did great.”

“I’m so glad I did”, he says. He takes a deep breath, lifting his head not only to get rid of the tears but also to look at the stars, “it felt good to help another person.”

“Yes that is why I love being a healer. Now, there are losses and those days leave a great aching behind. But most days are like today, filled with worry and yet at the end”, you look at the moon and smile, “at the end they bring great happiness with them.”

“You are a great healer.”

You turn your head only to realise that Seokjin was looking at you. His eyes reflected the light of the moon, his pretty lips were curled into a warm smile.

By Frenya, your heart is fluttering and your stomach tingles. Oh, it is the most unfamiliar of feelings.

“Thank you”, you whisper, eyes racing between his' without wanting to break away.

Seokjin nods his head and touches his chest. He closes his fingers around the tunic.

"Can you heal me from this mark?" he asks.

"I don't know if I can. And even if I could, it would hurt unbearably."

"I'm willing to take it if that means that I’m finally rid of it", he says, eyes filling with tears and lips curling in a painful scowl, "I want to cut it off. Why does it have to be on me?" he croaks, clawing at his chest.

"Hey", you stop him from hurting himself by taking his hand, "don’t do that. You’ll only hurt yourself", you speak softly.

"I don't care. I want it gone."

"But I care", you whisper, tracing his knuckles.

Seokjin whimpers softly, teary eyes flitting to you. He sniffles but doesn’t cry any more.

"I promise you, we will find a solution together, but for now be patient please. I don’t want you to hurt yourself."

Seokjin hesitates, sniffles, lowers his eyes and nods his head.

"Thank you", you say and pull back, “I think I should see how our patient is doing”, you say and stand up. You fix the front of your tunic and clear your throat, “you should stay here and catch fresh air, I know that healing people isn’t for everyone.”

Seokjin looks up at you. His eyes seem softer than they usually do.

“Yes, I will”, he breathes and finally shows his teeth in a hopeful smile.

Yela’s parents pick her up after eight moons and nine suns. The little girl looks healthier and thanked you with a hug. She also thanked Seokjin, who could barely accept her hug in guilt. But Yela insisted and so Seokjin allowed her to hug him and smiled when she called him her saviour too.

It was a busy today. Once the months were cold and the ground was covered in white snow, people tend seek your help for sore throats, stuffy noses and terrible coughs. It wasn’t hard work and required more knowledge about medicine than skill and you really liked it. Seokjin stayed by your side and watched you work. He asked many questions at first, so you gave him one of your empty notebooks and your favourite quill and told him to write down whatever he learned for later. He did so happily, even going so far as to draw the different bottles of medicine and scribbling the illness they could heal whenever the day was calmer.

You just said goodbye to the last of your patients for the day, now turning to Seokjin. He is busy storing the bottles of medicine by name. It fills you with pride to see how far in his readings he has already come. He is truly such a diligent student.

“Today was very busy”, you say.

He lifts his head.

“Yes, you worked very diligently.”

He makes you smile.

“I saw that you took many notes as well”, you say, reaching for his book. You open it, having to chuckle at the very badly done drawings.

“Why are you laughing?” he asks, drawing closer to you so he could look into the book as well.

“It is just that you truly weren’t graced by the drawing goddesses.”

He gasps, widening his eyes, “I worked very hard on them”, he whines, pouting most cutely.

“Oh Seokjin”, you chuckle, patting his arm, “truly I can see your hard work, they are just terrible drawings.”

“This is outrageous. Give me back my book, you have lost the right to look”, he says, ripping it out of your grasp to press it against his chest instead. He looks beyond lovable right now, sulking with the sweetest expression on his face.

“Forgive me”, you giggle, giving his cheek a soft pet, “come, I shall make up for it with food. We shall eat the pork belly Godfry left with us.”

Seokjin huffs out air, “very well, but I will only forgive you if you fry it.”

You laugh, “you are difficult to bargain with, aren’t you?”

“Perhaps”, Seokjin says and gives you a boyish grin.

This night you enjoy perfectly crispy pork belly with some winter potatoes. Even Kukuruz gets his own portion, enjoying it by Seokjin’s feet with a content purr.

It becomes a regular thing that Seokjin stays with you as you work. At first he sits just a little far off to the right and writes in his book. But as days turn into weeks and Seokjin managed to fill two notebooks with his words and terrible drawings, you find yourself getting help from him more actively. Especially when patients come with sore throats or a nasty cold. You can be sure that Seokjin will wait for you with the right medicines and a proud sparkle in his eyes. He is truly such a diligent student.

You have run out of potions last night and so you spent your entire day brewing and preparing new ones. The sun has long past its zenith by now and the cottage smelled of herbs and warm oils. It was a good smell, one that even Kukuruz enjoyed as he slumbered by the window sill.

You close the now freshly filled bottle of healing potion, placing it on its destined place on your shelve.

Seokjin limps past you, carrying empty flasks for you to fill up.

“Is your leg acting up again?” you ask him with worry in your gaze.

“Yes, slightly”, he answers you.

“Come, take off your pants and sit. I will take a look at it”, you tell him.

“Oh no, it’s not that painful.”

“Doesn’t matter”, you dismiss him, “I should check on it regardless.”

Seokjin lowers his eyes and lets out a sigh of defeat.

“Very well, you won’t take no as an answer either way.”

So it happens that Seokjin strips to his undergarment and sits down on the patient bed, resting his weight on his hands.

“How long has it been hurting again?”

“Just a few nights.”

“A few nights? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to put more work on your shoulders. You have already so much to do now that the weather is so cold.”

“Oh silly man”, you give his thigh a soft slap, “you are no work.”

“Oh”, he lets out, lowering his head shyly just as his ears gain a red colour to them.

“Now, let’s see what the issue may be.”

You take off his bandages carefully, throwing them in your bucket of used bandages. You will wash them with the rest tomorrow.

The stitched wound looks well, except for one part where slight reddish wetness is covering his skin.

“Oh dear, look at that”, you say, touching the reddened skin beside it.

Seokjin hisses in pain, tensing his thigh.

“This is where it hurts.”

“No wonder it does. You rubbed it open.”

“Is it dangerous?”

You chuckle, shaking your head.

“Not when I take care of it”, you assure him, giving him a sweet smile. You caress his knee most tenderly, “stay here, I will get the healing potion.”

Seokjin watches you, sitting on the bed with his hands folded in front of his crotch. He feels most peculiar lately. He feels shy when he is bared to you. He didn’t feel like that in the past, but these days he does. In those moments he was plagued by worries of whether you would find enjoyment in his legs until he had to remind himself just how silly such worries were.

You return to the bed, setting everything you needed down.

“I will clean it first. Tell me if it hurts.”

Seokjin nods his head, feeling his skin tingle in goosebumps on the parts where your fingertips found their resting spot.

“How is that?” you ask him.

“It doesn’t hurt. It is just cold.”

You chuckle, “yes, I’ve kept the water outside for too long. It almost froze over.”

“The winter is really cold this year. I’m glad that I can spend it in warmth.”

You wash out the cloth and once done, return to cleaning him. His flesh is covered in goosebumps, they look most fascinating in the lights.

“So you have no huts in the Black Forest?”

“No. Rafkan believes that houses are the product of witches to keep the man lazy and weak. One can’t find their true strength when they are warm.”

“How silly”, you have to laugh, “if one gets oh so weak in the warmth then tell me why so many people freeze to death.”

“Yes”, Seokjin lowers his eyes shyly, “I never really understood the logic behind his words. I really hated the winters. I was lucky however, many of my brothers weren’t. Rafkan told us that those men were weakened by witches, but I believe that they simply lost to nature.”

“That is terrible”, you gasp, “my condolences, Seokjin.”

“Thank you”, he says, giving you a sad smile.

You retort it.

“I shall look at your wound now, so hold still.”

“I understand”, he says, watching you work in silence.

He will heal. There must have been too much pressure on his leg and therefore it managed to rub open. It is not deep and the stitches were in order as well. A good layer of healing potion will do the trick.

“I heard that the Queen gave many Ravens a safe home in Her walls.”

“Yes, She did.”

“And you didn’t want this life?” you ask him.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to be trapped”, he says, slightly defensive, “I spent most of my life trapped in this cursed forest”, he spits and points east at where the Black Forest was hidden, “and then I was supposed to find freedom locked behind stone walls? What’s better about that?” he says, speaking calmly again.

“Safety, warm food, soft beds, no poisonous fumes or monsters”, you say, counting them all on your fingers.

He scoffs and shakes his head, “well, I didn’t want that. I don’t….” he takes a deep breath and releases it through his nose, “….I don’t want to live under the hand of someone else anymore.”

His features seem sad. His eyes carried the heaviness of a burden in them. His teeth bit on his lower lip in contemplation.

“So you ran away because you wanted freedom?”

“Yes, freedom”, he straightens up, “that is what I want. I want freedom, to live solely for myself.”

He looks at you.

“I know that you women aren’t witches. I’ve learned as much from the Queen”, he says, eyes lingering on your lips before breaking away to look at your working fingers instead, “She isn’t a bad person, She is very kind if I may be honest and I know my life in the castle would have been nice…”, he falls silent as he drifts back into his thoughts.

You spread the first layer of healing potion on his skin as you wait for him to continue.

“…but I escaped Rafkan to finally gain my freedom and in Her castle I would have had to live under yet another ruler. No”, he shakes his head, “this was no life for me. So I ran away.”

He looks at his leg.

“I managed to put two nights between the castle and me when this cursed wolf attacked me and bit my leg and I fell into this cursed river”, he explains and laughs, “I must say, this was a wonderful escape. I not only escaped Her castle but almost life itself”, he jokes and laughs.

You chuckle softly.

“At least you met me.”

He looks into your eyes. He had stopped laughing for your eyes mesmerised him far too much. A peculiar feeling tingles in your chest. It felt warm and as if, for only a second, you found it hard to breathe.

“I meant that you were lucky you found me. I helped you. I, I didn’t mean you f-found love or – oh dear this is not what I meant I don’t – forgive me, I am making no sense”, you explain yourself.

Seokjin smiles without showing his teeth. It makes his cheeks seem puffier for only a second.

“Yes, I found you. I’m glad I did.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you saved me. So thank you.”

“Of course”, you whisper. You didn’t want to whisper, but for some reason your voice didn’t want to come out any other way.

You laugh, looking back at his leg because you needed to do something other than feel flustered. Perhaps having his naked skin beneath your fingertips wasn’t the best distraction, but at least like this, you couldn’t lose yourself in his eyes again.

You reach for the bandages.

“Hold that in place for me.”

He obeys diligently, allowing his finger to brush against your hand, which elicits a millions of goosebumps on your skin.

"You will find your freedom. I promise you", you say quietly, "I won’t stop until I find a way to remove your mark and then you can go wherever you want to", you find it hard to speak the words and you can’t figure out why it felt so difficult.

"Thank you", he whispers, fingers almost touching your knuckles before pulling back shyly.

It was a sunny day today. The air was still cold, but at least the skies were blue and the sun was bright. It made the walk to the riverbed quite wonderful.

You had an important job to do today. Yela’s parents sent a hawk this morning, informing you that they ran out of medicine for their daughter. Her wound was healing splendidly but Yela had another condition which made it hard for her to digest the sugar in food. She takes a potion to help her with that. You sent the hawk back with promises of delivering the potions to them later.

So you ate a quick breakfast and then began working on preparing the medicine. Seokjin insisted on helping and you allowed him. You had to sneak out for a quick moment to get water as Kukuruz informed you that his bowl was empty and that he wanted more. Of course you wouldn’t want your cat to feel parched, so you left the cottage when Seokjin was busy in the living quarters getting books on spells.

He is grinding the herbs when you come back. The book, which he found, he placed on the work table. He lifts his head upon hearing the door close, locking eyes with you.

“I thought they would lose their potency if I kept them for too long”, he explains.

“They don’t really, but one can’t be sure enough. Thank you”, you tell him, setting the bucket down next to the work table.

Mreow.

The black cat is circling your legs.

“Yes I got new water Kukuruz. Come, bring me your bowl and I will fill it up for you.”

Mreow.

“Now, now don’t talk back. I know you can do it.”

Meow.

“I heard that!” you call out.

“Can you truly understand your cat?”

“Yes, of course I can. Here, look”, you say and show him a delicate silver bracelet. There was a yellow stone in the middle, enclosed in a cage of branches, “I went to a sorceress and asked her for one of those cat talking bracelets.”

Seokjin widens his eyes.

“So they are truthful?” he gasps, “I have always thought them to be gimmicks.”

“Oh me too, but they are very true. I was oh so surprised to hear voices in my cottage until I realised that it was Kukuruz talking to me.”

The latter is currently strutting back to the bucket, carrying his wooden water bowl in his little mouth. He sets it down and looks up.

Mreow.

“Thank you.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He told me here you go, my bowl.”

“Hah, this is remarkable”, Seokjin says.

“Yes?” you kneel down to prepare the water for Kukuruz, “do you want to try?”

“Yes, please”, he exclaims with sparkling eyes. He giggles as you secure the bracelet on his wrist, turning his attention to Kukuruz afterwards, “Kukuruz?”

Mreow.

“Oh!” he exclaims, squeaking in happiness, “oh I can understand you.”

Mreow.

“No, this is my first time I am hearing your voice! Oh you sound deeper than I imagined you to sound.”

Mreow.

Seokjin giggles, leaning down to pet the cat’s head.

“It is nice to meet you too Kukuruz.”

He turns to you, giving you a blinding smile.

“This is the most remarkable invention”, he says, making you smile.

“You can keep it on for today.”

“Truly? You would allow me?”

“Yes, of course”, you allow him and pull your stool next to Seokjin to sit down, “shall I show you how to make this medicine?”

He nods his head.

“Well then”, you sneak a glance at the contents in the stone bowl, “you need to give the herbs five more grinds, they should be perfect then.”

“I understand”, he says and goes to work. You watch his hands as he works. They look elegant, his nails are clean and his nail beds look well-taken care of. It is surprising to see such hands on a Raven. You always expected them to be dirty and for their hands to be horrid to look at. But his hands aren’t horrid to look at, they are actually quite beautiful.

“Does the Queen look for you?” you ask him.

“I don’t know, I don’t believe She does. Perhaps She is already dead.”

“I don’t understand.”

Seokjin seems to hesitate.

“I shall tell you, but only if you promise me not to pull the knife on me again.”

You meet his eyes. He seems just slightly nervous of the truth.

“Fine”, you give in with a fond chuckle, “I shall hear you out.”

He gives you a grateful smile and looks back at the herbs.

“I finished grinding them, what should I do next?”

“Ah yes of course”, you say and reach for three different bottles of oils, “you must add five drops of treebark oil”, you explain and put the green flask next to his hand, “then one dash of Kreusel fish oil” you add, placing a spray bottle next to the flask, “and fill it up halfway with this”, you say and place a bottle of rosehip oil next to the others.

Seokjin nods in understanding and begins working.

You allow him to count the five drops and one dash, but ask him for his story once he uses the rosehip oil.

“Rafkan sent me to kill the Queen”, he begins, making you widen your eyes in surprise, “and I attempted to kill Her, but She was quicker and captured me.”

“So you were Her prisoner?”

“Just in the beginning. Should I mix it?”

“Yes, mix it until the candle burned down to the second line.”

He nods his head in understanding and mix it with the mortar.

"So why do you think that She might be dead already?"

"Because I believe that Rafkan will send more Ravens until She is dead", he explains, "we agreed on a signal once we were successful in killing Her. Send a raven back to him with Her cut off finger ties to its legs. That’s what he told me to do."

"This is gruesome."

"Yes and until this raven doesn’t return to him, Rafkan will continue sending boys into their…well", he laughs breathily, "perhaps it is a good thing those boys keep trying. At least they will find saving this way."

Seokjin looks at you.

"I have a little brother. Not through blood, but he is the dearest to my heart. His name is Jungkook. I really hope that Rafkan sends him next and that he will be caught and find freedom that way."

You smile softly, "I really hope so too. Is he like you? Forced to be someone he doesn’t want to be?"

Seokjin shakes his head, "he is so terribly influenced by Rafkan that it will be hard for the Queen to convince him", he says in a fond chuckle.

It makes you laugh as well. Even if you had no knowledge about Jungkook.

"I always wanted to flee", Seokjin continues, "that is why I volunteered when he asked. But Jungkook, he", Seokjin laughs painfully, "he called me hurtful things during our last conversation. I asked him to flee with me, but he refused and said stuff I know he didn’t mean."

"I'm sorry, that sounds painful."

"No, I’m not angry at him. He is still so young and he has so much to learn. I hope he will find the truth in the Queen’s castle and then heal from all the pain Rafkan caused him. I really wish this for him."

"I am sure that he will", you assure him, "maybe you can see him again one day."

"I really hope I will. I want to hug him if I ever do."

He smiles, laughs softly and looks back at the medicine.

"I'm rambling, I’m sorry."

"You really aren’t. So you said that She wanted to give you a home. But then you said that you were her prisoner. Did you lie?”

“No, I was free to move in the castle, but I wasn’t allowed to leave it yet. So in a way, I was still Her prisoner and I didn’t want that. I wanted to see the world.”

“I understand that. I heard that Rafkan doesn’t really allow you to leave. I bet going on this mission to kill Her felt like your key to freedom.”

He nods his head.

“Well, once your legs is healed completely I promise you that you can truly find it", you say and nudge his arm, “then you can finally leave my boring cottage. I’m sure you are looking forward to that.”

Seokjin turns his head to look at your face. He gives you a smile, which neither looks happy nor fake. It almost looks disappointed, as if he doesn’t want to think about the future you told him about.

“I, uhm”, you say, pulling your hand away, “oh look! The candle burned down. Now we have to fill it up quickly.”

Seokjin helps you. He pours and you hold the bottles. He also sneaks a glance or two at your face, which you retorted each time. You were so close. You were aware that it was only because you and him needed to work right now, but still, you were close and somehow this made your heart flutter again.

You finish the medicine by sticking a sturdy cork into the small bottle neck. Seokjin mimics the gesture on his bottles, doing so with his brows furrowed in concentration.

He also helps you with storing them in your basket, watching with great interest as you tug them in with a red cloth.

“So, I have to deliver them to Yela and her family now. I should be back by nightfall.”

Seokjin watches you put your fur and hood on. He stands up, erasing the distance between you and him.

“Can I come with you?” he asks almost shyly.

“You want to come with me?” you sound surprised.

He nods his head, “I want to help.”

“Oh don’t worry, they are not heavy. I can manage.”

“I understand”, he murmurs, lowering his eyes sadly. He seems so disappointed to be left behind.

“But fresh air would do you good”, you tell him because you couldn’t stand the thought of having Seokjin sit in your cottage with a sad expression.

Seokjin smiles happily, “thank you, I will get ready right away.”

Ten minutes later you and he are outside. Seokjin watches you lock your cottage. You turn to him and give him a shy smile.

“Let’s go, it is quite the long walk and we should hurry.”

“Where do we have to go?” he asks.

“Just past the town. It will take about an hour by foot.”

“I see, I have never been in town.”

“You have not?” you gasp.

Seokjin shakes his head, looking sad.

“Oh by Frenya, you truly haven’t seen a lot of the world, have you?”

He shakes his head again.

“Well then, I will show you a new spot today. Trust me, you will like the town. It is not big, but it is very good. The people are very welcoming and friendly. And I especially love the market place.”

“Why? Is the market place special?”

“No, but it houses a very beautiful statue of a wolf and I enjoy looking at all its details whenever I’m at the market”, you explain and sneak a glance at him, “worry not, it will not bite your leg.”

Seokjin laughs, which you retort. He has such a nice laugh. It is the kind of laugh which makes one want to laugh as well.

You pull closer to Seokjin once you enter the tense conifer tree forest.

“You have to be careful in these forests”, you tell him in a hushed voice.

“Why? Is it dangerous?” Seokjin gasps, sounding nervous.

“No, but there are tree fairies all around us and they like to play tricks.”

“Tricks?”

You nod your head, “they grow roots in front of people’s feet to trip them. Some even let pinecones drop on people’s heads. The whole forest laughs then if that happens.”

“I see. That sounds dangerous”, Seokjin says, eyes flitting to the ground in case magical roots appeared in front of his feet.

“They aren’t dangerous, don’t worry. They keep this forest alive and healthy and their tricks are harmless except for maybe a bruised knee and embarrassment in your chest.”

“I see”, Seokjin says, lifting his head to gaze at the canopy of prickly branches far above your heads, “do you know if there are tree fairies in the Black Forest?”

“There were once, but these days not anymore. They either died, got killed or fled to other forests. That is why the forest is so dark and why so many curses took root in it. There are no fairies left to heal and protect it.”

“Is this a natural thing to happen?”

“No. Tree fairies don’t abandon their trees, unless there is a reason for it. And in the case of the Black Forest, the reason came in the form of Rafkan. I didn’t witness the downfall of the forest as it happened hundreds of years ago, but the story of it is well known on this continent.”

“I heard that Rafkan is one of the Nïuri”, Seokjin says, “he always pretended to be mortal like the rest of us, but I never saw him eat or sleep, let alone age.”

“You saw right. Nïuri are a peaceful people, but not him. They use their immortality to nurture the earth, but he is nothing but a curse to every inch of earth he sets his evil feet on.”

“To imagine that the Black Forest was healthy once and that this awful person hurt it for hundreds of years”, Seokjin whispers and lets out a sad sigh, “I feel so much anger for him. I want to bring him so much harm.”

“I understand how you feel. I think about hurting him on many nights.”

Seokjin looks at you, “the Queen told me that Rafkan was the one who killed my parents and till now, I didn’t believe Her. What if She was right? I have a feeling that She was right all along.”

You could hear the grief in his voice. The heartbreak a painful realisation brings. The betrayal and anger and pain which follow.

“I can’t tell you, but I hope for your heart that She was wrong. Nobody should have to live with the murderer of their parents.”

Seokjin furrows his brows, “I want to hurt him”, he confesses with a trembling voice, “I want to hurt him until he begs me to stop.”

“I know, oh I know how you feel”, you say softly, stepping closer to hold his hands.

You stop. Droplets of melting snow rain down on your heads from the branches high above. Seokjin’s quick breathing creates white clouds in the air. His fingers are cold, closing around your fingers almost desperately.

“But Seokjin, seeking revenge on him won’t heal the wounds he left.”

“No, but at least it will stop them from opening up over and over again.”

“I understand you, I truly do. I lost my beloved aunt to Rafkan and if this cursed person were to ever appear in front of me, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to kill him. But seeking for it?” you pull him closer, tighten your grip on his hands, let your eyes get lost in his’, “seeking for it will give you more grief than relief. Please believe me. Believe me when I tell you that healing far, far away from him will feel better in the long run than seeking him one last time.”

“Are you scared that I might become the man I was in the past? Is that why you are telling me all of this?”

“No, I know you. You were never meant to be a Raven and you will never fall back into your old habits again”, you assure him with a fond smile on your lips, “and that is why I don’t want you to go back to that place. Distance keeps the memories at bay, while propinquity burns new holes into your heart.”

Seokjin breaks eye contact after a second, lowering his head with an exhausted sigh.

“It hurts”, he confesses in a whisper, “I was four years of age when Rafkan rescued me after masked bandits slit my parents’ throats a-and to imagine that I called their murderer my father for so many years unbeknownst to his true nature, hurts me so much that I can barely breathe.”

“It hurts me too. Rafkan deserves to be ripped apart by Morguls for what he did to you and so many other poor boys. If there is anything I can do to lessen the pain, I will do it.”

“Just…” Seokjin hesitates, lifts his eyes, hesitates. He takes a cautious step closer, “can I be held? For just a second.”

“Yes”, you whisper, closing your arms around him to pull him into a tight and soothing hug.

Seokjin drapes his arms around your waist instantly and rests his cheek on your shoulder. Despite his stature, he feels fragile in your arms. You find no peculiarity in that, knowing very well why he felt as small as he did. Coming to terms with your hurtful past leaves one broken and weak. You hope that this measly hug is enough to heal even a little part of him.

He shudders in an exhale.

“Is this how hugs feel?” he whispers.

“Have you never been hugged before?”

He shakes his head, “it feels so…healing.”

You smile. It was of both sad and happy nature. Sad because someone as gentle as Seokjin should have never lived so long without being hugged. And happy because he finally found healing through it.

“Thank you”, he breathes and you answer him by patting his upper back slowly.

He steps back soon after, revealing his teary eyes to you. He hides them when he watches with how much worry your features fill.

“It’s the wind”, he lies, wiping the tears away, “it’s so cold.”

“It is acceptable to cry. Never apologise”, you assure him, taking a step back because otherwise you would have reached for his cheeks and kissed his tears away and you know that this wasn’t in your place to do.

“Hah”, he lets out, cheeks and ears gaining in sudden colour, “we should probably keep walking, shouldn’t we?” he asks, carrying embarrassment in his voice.

“Yes, we should”, you say, feeling oh so flustered yourself.

You deliver the medicine to Yela and her parents. They thank you with a freshly baked honey cake. It smelled of cinnamon and cloves and had a yellow colour to it, almost as if turmeric had tainted it.

You leave for the village afterwards, now that you had time to truly show Seokjin around. His pretty eyes seemed to light up more and more the closer to the village you came. You prefer that view over the sad betrayal he carried in the forest just hours prior.

“Here it is. My favourite statue”, you tell him, stopping in front of the statue of the wolf, “isn’t it beautiful?”

It was made out of dark bronze, except for its left paw. The touch of countless people turned it golden.

Seokjin studies it, “yes it is. The teeth look so real.”

“Yes, indeed. And look”, you say, touching its golden paw, “it is said that if you rub the wolf’s paw thrice all your wishes will come true.”

Seokjin reaches out and rubs the paw of the wolf. He squeezes his eyes shut and whispers something you can’t make out. Then he opens his eyes.

“What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you, otherwise it won’t come true”, he says, making you smile fondly.

“Very well then, keep your secrets. Come, I’ll show you to the marketplace.”

Seokjin follows, looking left and right with great interest. His eyes are sparkling greatly. He seems so content.

“Do you know why wolves carry such great importance in the Night Queendom?” you ask him.

“Is it because we have so many wolves living here?”

“Not quite.”

“Well, what is it then?”

“Did you know that Woltron and his pack are actually old gods?”

Seokjin looks at you with widened eyes.

“No, I didn’t. Is this really true?”

“Indeed it is”, you nod your head, “and that is why we cherish wolves so greatly, because Woltron and his pack watch over us and our lands.”

“I see. You know so much.”

“Yes, my mother told me a lot about our history”, you nudge his arm, “I can tell you everything you want to know. You just have to ask.”

“Really?”

“Yes of course.”

“Well then I want to know. Are the Nourishing Fields really endless?”

“Well, in the literal sense they aren’t, but they are so big and so wide that they seem endless.”

“I see”, Seokjin says and blushes, “I want to see the Nourishing Fields.”

“You can, I promise you.”

“Really?”

“Of course, once the months are warmer again and the days longer, you can go wherever you want”, you give him a smile, “you can finally see the world.”

You expected him to be happy, to retort your smile and show excitement in his eyes, but for some unexplainable reason he seems sad.

“Yes, I guess I can see the world”, he murmurs and sighs.

“What’s the matter?” you ask him, “do you not want to see the world?”

“I do, but I just…” he trails off, looks to the side as if he was flustered, “it doesn’t really matter. I’m just scared, I guess.”

“Scared”, you repeat, “I see. It must be scary to wander the world, but I am sure that once you took those first few steps you will find great enjoyment in it. Worry not Seokjin”, you place your hand on his upper arm, feeling how his muscles tense, “you will love it.”

“Will I?” he asks, turning back to you. You don’t miss the way his eyes seem to linger on your lips for just a second or the way his fingers reach for your hand when you retreat your touch.

“Of course”, your voice felt hoarse as you spoke and for just one second you felt this unbearable urge to reach back and touch his hand. You let out a nervous laugh, touching the side of your neck for your pulse felt terribly hasty in your throat, “well, uhm”, you begin and clear your throat, “we are here. This is the marketplace.”

Seokjin lets his eyes wander over the spacious plaza. The stalls are empty, standing in darkness whilst casting the blackest of shadows on the paving. Dogs are circling the stall in which butchers sell their merchandise. They must smell the meat, looking for it without the knowledge that their search will be unsuccessful.

On the only lantern a big owl is sitting, staring down at the two of you with big, unmoving eyes and every now and then, its eerie call cuts through the silence of the night.

“It’s very…empty”, Seokjin says, making you chuckle quietly.

“Yes indeed. We picked out a terrible time. Come tomorrow morning and this place is bustling with life. Right there”, you point at one of the abandoned stalls, “is where the best cake maker in town sells her goods. Oh Seokjin, the cakes she sells are magical.”

“I ate cake in the Queen’s castle. It’s really sweet.”

“Indeed and it’s so delicious, wouldn’t you say?”

Seokjin nods his head, “I liked it a lot. I want to learn how to make cake.”

“I can teach you, if you want to.”

Seokjin looks at you with sparkling eyes, “you would do that for me?”

“Of course I would”, you give him a smile and this time around Seokjin retorts it.

Your eyes flit to it. Lingering. His lips look so pretty when he smiles. Even now in the bad lighting you find great beauty in them.

“What is it?” Seokjin asks you, stopping his smile for your intense gaze is flustering him.

“Oh dear”, you murmur, turning away with a fluttering heart, “I don’t know. I think, I must be tired. I keep zoning out on…” you falter in embarrassment. You don’t want to expose yourself, “…on different spots”, you lie.

“Ah, I see. Well, then. Do you want to walk home?”

“Home”, you repeat, finding yourself looking at his lips again, “yes, we could do that, couldn’t we?”

You prepare warm tea for the both of you once home. The nights may be warmer again, but walking in its wet coldness for hours still managed to freeze your limbs. You have both done your nightly washing-up and changed into thick sleeping clothes. You laid out a pair of woollen socks, which you made during calmer moments, for both you and Seokjin as well.

“There you go”, you say, handing Seokjin his cup of elderflower tea, “this will warm you.”

“Thank you”, Seokjin says.

You sit down on the fur next to him, joining him in his relaxing task of watching the flames in the fireplace dance.

“Today was quite the productive day”, you say.

“Yes, we managed to do a lot of tasks”, he agrees.

“Indeed. Oh Seokjin”, you relax with a sigh, “I will miss you dearly once you are gone. You are truly of such great help.”

Seokjin looks at you with rosy cheeks. He fumbles with the edge of his cup, feeling warm in his chest right where his heart flutters.

“And you are a diligent student”, you sneak a glance at him, “you would make a fine healer.”

Seokjin lowers his gaze, touching his burning ear, “you think so?” he whispers.

“Yes, I truly do”, you whisper, gazing at his features. Oh why must he be so beautiful? If only you didn’t like his face so much, if only you didn’t find so much beauty in his soul, maybe then you wouldn’t ache so much each time you thought of him leaving one day.

You turn away, aching too much to bear his beauty any longer. The flames dance calmly, swaying left and right. You take a sip of your tea. It tastes good and fills your stomach with warmth.

"I have something for you", you tell him.

"For me?"

You stand up to get it from your shelf, returning to him with a racing heart. Seokjin helps you sit down by holding your hand, eyes flitting to the piece of paper you are holding.

You place said paper on his lap, "open it."

Seokjin does so without hesitation, widening his eyes in shock.

"Is this", he gasps, looking at you.

"A potion to remove tattoos, yes. I found it at the market yesterday and I wanted to surprise you", you say, giggling excitedly.

"You actually meant it", he whispers, clutching it to his chest with teary eyes.

"Of course I did."

Seokjin smiles, "thank you. I don’t know what to say."

"Don't say anything. I'm just happy that I can help you heal from your past."

Seokjin nods his head and seeks you out by resting his head on your shoulder. He exhales deeply, eyes falling closed and fingers coming to play with the hem of your tunic. Mindlessly and innocently, but you feel weak nonetheless.

"Thank you", he whispers.

"Mhm", you let out, patting his thigh twice before pulling back again.

Why does he have to leave? Why him? Why?

“Where will you go once the months are warmer again?” you ask him even if asking that question hurts you. You don’t want him to leave, but it would be selfish of you to hold him back. He should experience freedom. That is what he deserves.

For a second he is silent, looking into the flames.

“I don’t know” he says quietly.

“I can advise you visit the Nourishing Fields first. Oh, they have the most beautiful colour during summer.”

“Are they far from here?”

“Just a five days walk perhaps. That is if you would spend each passing hour of those days walking”, you say and laugh quietly.

Seokjin can’t quite bring himself to laugh as well. The thought of wandering so far from you makes his heart ache.

“So I would say that you could reach them in about a week if the roads are good.”

“Have you ever been to the Nourishing Fields?”

“Yes, many times actually. My cousin lives close to them and I like to visit him when it is warm.”

You take a sip of your tea. It has cooled down just enough to make it bearable to drink.

“I truly enjoy this tea, it tastes so good.”

Seokjin takes a sip as well.

“Yes, it is very good.”

“Indeed” you say and nudge his head with your chin.

Seokjin lifts his head. You are giggling at him.

Seokjin wants to giggle too, he wants to smile at you just like you do, he wants his eyes to sparkle the way yours do and yet in this moment as the taste of elderflowers was lingering on his tongue and his temple felt your lingering warmth, he couldn’t. He ached so terribly. The snow has begun to melt and if the nights continue to be as mild as they were lately, then soon the earth will thaw as well. And that means that the warmer months have finally come back and Seokjin has to leave your cottage to explore the world.

“I don’t want to see the world”, he blurts out.

“What?” you stop laughing, studying his features with confusion in your eyes.

“I don’t want to see the world.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want to see the world if, if that means that I have to leave. I don’t want to run on the Nourishing Fields or climb the Snowy Mountains or, or swim in foreign lakes if that means that I can’t see you anymore.”

“Seokjin, what are you saying?”

“You are asking me where I want to go first once the months are warmer again, but truth be told, the thought of going anywhere without you hurts me so terribly much that I want to wail”, he confesses with glassy eyes.

“Oh…”

“Perhaps I want to go to the town first”, he says and lets out a breathy laugh, “yes, that is the place I want to go. I want to go to the town in the greyness of dawn when you are still sleeping and I want to go there to buy the biggest piece of cake for you and then I will carry it home and I will be careful not to meet any tree fairies. And once home, I will feed Kukuruz and check on you and I will see that you are still sleeping. So I will prepare the cake and I will put a flower on the plate with it and perhaps I will sprinkle some sugar on it too because it is a special occasion and then I will bring it to you and wake you by, by”, he inhales shakily, “by kissing your forehead and I will watch how you smile at me and how you eat the cake deliciously and I will be happy.”

He rubs at his eyes, wiping his tears away.

“So that is where I will go once the months are warmer. I will go to the town to buy you a cake.”

You sniffle.

“That is a good place”, you whisper, intertwining your fingers with his’.

“So please don’t make me leave. Please let me stay by your side.”

You nod your head, fighting with your tears. You guide his hand to your lips, kissing his knuckles with all the love you have for him. You rest your cheek against them afterwards, allowing your warm tears to roll down his skin.

“I didn’t want you to leave either, but I didn’t want to tell you because seeing the world was your dream”, you confess.

“I can already see the world when I look into your eyes.”

You open your eyes, meeting the world in his eyes.

“I can see it too”, you whisper, “it’s beautiful.”

Seokjin smiles with his cheeks blushing. He squeezes your hand. You squeeze it right back, lifting your head to get closer to him. Your noses are almost touching, your lips are so close, your vision is just slightly blurry.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask him in a barely there whisper.

He closes his eyes, “please kiss me.”

“Oh Seokjin”, you sigh, cupping his cheek.

Seokjin closes his eyes with a sigh, meeting you halfway with yet another sigh rolling over his tongue.

You feel how easy life becomes once you kiss him. The air is lighter around you and filled with magic. Your cabin, once dark, is sparkling in the colours of the universe. Your skin prickles and in your tummy millions of butterflies flutter. This is the best feel you ever experienced.

You sigh and cup his other cheek, pulling him closer. Seokjin allows you, touching your upper arms with shaky fingers. His heart is racing so much that he fears that you might hear it. He has never kissed before, but he is glad that he didn’t. For having your lips be the first lips he ever kisses feels like wondrous magic to him.

A magic which soon robs him of air. He breaks the magic, only to realise that it still remains as flutters of his heart and tingles in his stomach.

You stay close, running your thumbs over his soft cheeks and poking his nose with your own. You feel so lightheaded. Kissing him felt like paradise.

“This felt magical”, he whispers, sighing when you brush your thumb over his cheekbone.

“Yes, it did. Oh Seokjin, I had wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“You, you did?” he stutters, blushing.

You move your head back just so you could gaze at his perfect features.

“Yes”, you whisper, tracing his pretty lips, “you have the most beautiful smile and your face”, you run your fingertips along his cheeks up to his forehead and down the slope of his nose.

Seokjin feels shivers run down his spine at the touch, having his eyes closed.

“Oh your face”, you whisper, “I don’t want to stop looking at it.”

You kiss him, surprising him so much that his stomach tightens and his heart skips a beat in his chest. He sighs shakily, allowing you to tilt his head so you could reach him easier. You kiss so much better than he ever could, you know so much more, he thinks. He believes that if he allows you to guide him, then he won’t be able to disappoint. He really doesn’t want to disappoint. Not you. You are so wise, so full of knowledge, so skilled and if he disappointed you with his kisses, he would never forgive himself.

So he lets you hold his face while he rests his hands on your waist. He lets you trace his lips with your tongue while he whimpers softly. He lets you lay him down on the fur, whilst gasping your name.

Your elbows are caging in his head, your hands smooth over his hair. Your chest is resting against his torso in this position and Seokjin can feel how quickly your heart is racing. So you feel just as excited as he does. Oh, he feels so reassured in his feelings because of it.

You break the kiss, tracing his lips with your tongue. They feel so tender, almost sensitive even. Oh, how long have you kissed him already? You can’t remember.

“Your lips are so soft”, you whisper, chasing them in a slow kiss.

Seokjin keens quietly, hands reaching up to cup your cheeks. His palms feel clammy against your skin.

Giggling, you break the kiss just so you could gaze at him.

Your eyes soften upon meeting his glimmering gaze. You tilt your head to the side and caress his soft cheeks, “you look so beautiful.”

His plumb lips wear the deepest of pinks, his cheeks match, as do his ears. His raven hair is just slightly tousled in the front, hanging into his brows. He is breathing quickly, gazing up at you with his dark brown, pretty eyes.

“You look beautiful too”, he answers you in a small voice.

"I want to keep kissing you."

"Please do. I want it to too."

"Oh Seokjin, my dearest", you sigh and lean down.

Seokjin gasps loudly when instead of kissing his lips, you lean down to kiss his neck.

“O-oh”, he gets out, lifting his shoulders in instinct for the sensation was foreign to him.

You flinch back instantly.

“Forgive me. I, I should have asked", you stutter.

Your eyes meet.

"No", he shakes his head vigorously, "it felt really good. It surprised me, that is all", he whispers.

“Yes? So I can do it again?” you ask him, "please?"

Seokjin blushes vividly, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m scared”, he confesses.

“Scared? Sacred of what?”

“Of, of…of disappointing you.”

“Disappointing me? Oh Seokjin, why would you disappoint me?”

“Because I am a-”, he exhales shakily, “I have no knowledge of being intimate. And, and you know so much. You are so skilled and, and probably had men better than me and I don’t want to disappoint.”

“Seokjin, my dearest”, you say, soothing him by caressing his cheeks, “the fact that those men aren’t by my side anymore means that in the end, they couldn’t truly satisfy me. You aren’t worse than them, on the contrary, I have never felt so bewitched by anyone before you.”

“Really?”

“Yes”, you promise him, “so worry not. You are my diligent student after all, I am certain you will be a natural in intimacy as well.”

“I’m your student?” he gasps, ears turning the deepest reds instantly.

You giggle. Seokjin giggles too.

“Of course you are. You are my very good student”, you say, dancing your fingers over his collarbones.

Seokjin lets out a small moan, widening his eyes as he squirms underneath you. He seems to really like it when you praise him. Oh, that makes you so happy. You want to keep praising him just so you can make him look at you in that adorable fashion he does right now.

"Perhaps you are even my best student", you say, basking in the joy you feel when he squirms a second time.

“___”, he gets out, lips parting and staying that way. He hooks his fingers behind your neck, rolling his head to the side just enough to reveal his flushed neck to your eyes.

"My best student", you whisper and lean down to place a subtle kiss on his neck.

This time, Seokjin reacts in a sigh, head rolling to the side completely and eyes falling closed. His fingers slip from your neck, tangling in the fur in a shy and desperate grip.

Your own close around a bundle of his hair, mind falling into the droopiness of worshipping his vulnerable neck. His skin feels so soft under your lips. And hot. Oh so utterly hot. As if a fire was keeping it warm. You feel the sensation with three kisses and then a shy lick follows.

Seokjin makes a soft sound, touching your hips only to pull away again. Another twist of the fur. Shy avoidance of what he truly craves.

“Don't pull away. You are allowed to touch me”, you encourage him with a whisper against his jawline.

“But where?”

“Where do you want to touch me?”

“Your torso.”

His answer makes you smile. You kiss along his pulse point, tickling him with gentle bites.

“Then my torso it is. Touch me, my diligent student”, you rasp, making him shiver.

His hands grasp your hips, squeezing them with a certain strength. It is the kind of strength that lets you know just how incredibly affected he is by the situation. And that perhaps he had craved to touch you for the longest time.

“That's it, your touch feels wonderful”, you praise him, moving his head by tugging on his hair most gently.

He rolls it to the other side, exposing his unkissed neck to your eyes. His skin is tinted pink, looking beautiful like this.

“You are so beautiful”, you breathe, kissing him with a racing heart.

“Ah”, Seokjin lets out, running his hands up along your sides, “oh”, he sighs and shivers. He never even thought about how sensitive his neck is. He wonders if he is different and if such sensitivity is normal. He also wonders if he is allowed to shiver oh so incredibly much or if he is acting inappropriately.

You take his earlobe between your teeth then and Seokjin swears that never before, his thoughts turned off as quickly as they did right now.

His fingers stutter, coming to an involuntary pause right underneath your armpits. The bite just feels so good. Seokjin has to sigh and then call your name.

“Is this enjoyable?” you ask him in the sweetest voice.

“I, I think something is wrong with me.”

“Truly?” you lift your head, eyes running over his features, “what is the matter? Where does it hurt?”

He shakes his head, “no, it is just that…that my neck.”

“What about your neck?”

“When you kiss me, I feel sensations down my back. Like shivers and, and they are in my fingertips as well and between”, he lowers his eyes, “I think it affects my, ahm, my cock as well.”

"Oh dear", you can’t stop yourself from breaking into the fondest of chuckles, "my dearest Seokjin, there is nothing wrong with you. On the contrary, everything is perfectly fine."

"But why does it feel so hot? A-as if fire fairies are close."

"You are fine", you assure him, smoothing out his hair, "oh Seokjin, this is supposed to happen. Your cock is supposed to harden."

Seokjin widens his eyes, mouth falling open.

"Oh."

You giggle, poking the tip of his nose with your fingertip. He looks oh so endearing.

"Do you want to kiss my neck as well? I react differently than you do."

"You do?"

You nod your head.

"So your core doesn’t harden? Like I do?"

You chuckle, "how about you kiss my neck and I'll show you?"

"Yes", Seokjin nods his head passionately, "I want to."

"Great", you say, lying down in the fur beside him.

Seokjin props himself up on his elbows, looking down at you with big eyes. Like an innocent deer caught eating one of your plants. You love this view so very much.

You roll your head to the side and tug the collar of your tunic down, exposing your neck that way.

"Kiss it. Kiss me, dear Seokjin", you sigh.

Seokjin exhales shakily, doing so to still the racing of his heart. Not that this helps. On the contrary, it only worsens it. He is so nervous and scared to disappoint.

He lowers his head, holding his breath for the next part.

His lips make the softest of sounds as he places his first kiss upon your skin. He pulls back afterwards.

"Is that right?" he asks shyly.

"Yes, it feels so good", you assure him, "do it again. More. Much more."

Seokjin feels happy. He did well! Without wasting another second, he lowers his lips back to your neck. Your skin is soft, your pulse is tickling him, your throat produces the smallest of moans.

Seokjin closes his eyes and dares to weave his fingers in your hair as best as possible. He doesn’t tug like you did, he merely wants to hold a part of you as he kisses your neck.

“This is so good”, you sigh, feeling yourself shiver uncontrollably.

You had lovers in your past. Not many, but just enough to figure out what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. Most were mediocre, many were terrible and only a few were good. And you didn’t care enough about them to want them to stay. They were nice to have for the time being, but didn’t leave a hole of yearning once they left again. Most kissed your neck as well and the very few who refused to, were thrown out the moment they did. But they were all different. You realise this much now that Seokjin is kissing your neck.

They didn’t leave you feeling oh so breathless from mere neck kisses. They didn’t leave you craving for more of their touch. But Seokjin does. Oh, how he does.

You grab his hand and place it atop your breast.

"Oh?" Seokjin lifts his head, gawking at you with widened eyes.

"Massage it softly. It feels so good", you tell him.

Seokjin gives your breast a soft squeeze, watching with heat between his legs as this makes you arch your back.

"Just like that. Keep doing it just like that", you sigh, "oh Seokjin, dearest", you moan and overcome by your emotions you pull him down into a passionate kiss.

Seokjin whimpers, kissing you back sloppily at first before he finds his rhythm. His hand continues massaging your breast, becoming more and more confident the deeper you kiss him.

Your tunic is thin enough to allow his unfiltered warmth to reach your skin. His touch is so gentle and yet filled with such passion. For someone who never held a woman's breasts before tonight, Seokjin knows exactly how to bewitch you.

"Seokjin", you break the kiss to moan his name, "Seokjin, I want more. Much more."

"What do you want?" he asks breathily.

"I want to have you. Bared."

"Oh."

Seokjin gulps.

"Do you want the same? You are allowed to deny me."

Seokjin lets out a small laugh, lowering his head giddily.

"I never did such a thing before", he whispers, "but I want to do it with you", he says, lifting his head to gaze at you with sparkling eyes, "I really want to do it."

He makes you smile.

"Just one question. I have one question."

"Ask me, my dearest."

"Will it hurt?"

"No, it will feel magical."

"Even more magical than a kiss?"

"Yes", you smile, "even more than that."

"I, I see", Seokjin blushes vividly, "oh by Frenya, this is making me fluster."

You giggle, "you are so precious", you gush, rubbing your hands up and down his chest, "so shall we take our bottoms off?"

Seokjin nods his head, "yes, I would like that."

And so you begin undressing.

"It's not like I haven’t seen you naked before, is it?" you joke, painting even more pink onto his cheeks.

He giggles shyly, lowering his eyes.

"Yes, I guess you have", he whispers, "but it’s different tonight, isn’t it?"

"Yes, it’s exciting", you say, placing your pants to the side.

You are on your knees. Seokjin is mirroring your position. His tunic is reaching him by his thighs, hiding his now exposed cock from your eyes. The dent is still visible however, drawing your eyes to it.

"You ahm", Seokjin begins.

You draw closer to him, "you look beautiful", you say, touching his chest.

"You too", he says, eyes lingering on your middle. Your tunic hides it from him as well.

"Do you want to see?"

"Can I really see it?" he is almost gasping the question.

In one swift movement you have taken off your tunic, throwing it behind you mindlessly.

"Oh, ahm, oh?" Seokjin lets out, eyes widened and racing all over your newly exposed body.

You pose for him, enjoying his undivided attention to the fullest.

"What do you think?"

"This, this…this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Are you real?" he gushes, reaching out only to halt. His eyes flit up. "Can I touch?"

"Yes my dearest."

Seokjin exhales shakily, placing his hands on your waist while his eyes race over your chest.

"You feel so soft and warm. And, and your breasts are so…." he cradles them in his hands, "...beautiful", he whispers shakily. His eyes fill with the slightest of tears, "I missed out on so much", he croaks.

"Don't be upset. You have all the time in the world to catch up with all the things you missed out on", you assure him.

He smiles, dancing his thumbs over your nipples gently, "yes, I guess I have", his smile grows, "I am genuinely happy", he confesses and draws closer just to pull you into an adoring kiss.

You feel your knees wobble because of it, not having expected him to take initiative. You love that he did, losing yourself in the passionate dance of lips and eager tongues while your hands travel over his torso.

It happens that Seokjin loses his tunic at some point of this kiss, discarding it somewhere behind him. Your bodies chased each other instantly, your lips fell back into the dance. Seokjin kissed you even deeper after feeling your naked skin against his own.

Now you are both groping each other, hands on the other’s hips in a desperate battle of who gets to pull the other closer. His cock is rubbing between your stomachs, leaving wet imprints behind. Your own middle is wet, dripping down your inner thigh.

"I can't breathe", he whispers between tongue kisses.

"Neither can I", you answer him, "give me your hand."

Seokjin moves his head back to look at you in curiosity. He places his hand into your palm, tilting his head to the side.

"Do you want to feel how you affect me?"

"Yes please."

You guide his hand between your legs, making sure that two of his fingers part your soaked folds.

"You are wet", he gasps, widening his eyes.

"I know", you sigh, guiding his touch up to your clit. You show him how you enjoy it with your chest heaving up and down in a deep, shaky gasp, "that feels so good…"

"It does?" he gets out before he moves his fingers on his own, "like this? Is this how you did it?"

"Yes", you sigh, "just a little to the left."

Seokjin fixes his position, moaning with you as this makes you shudder in reaction.

"Right there", you sigh, tilting your head back, "oh Seokjin…"

"I can't believe that you are real", he whispers and overtaken by his emotions he chases you, lips claiming the emptiness of your neck and fingers exploring your wet cunt. He kisses you sloppily, moaning blissfully while his fingers rub circles into your clit.

"Yes, yes, oh yes", you chant, feeling your entire body sink into the hottest flames of pleasure.

It is not long and you tell Seokjin to bury two of his fingers deep inside your dripping hole. And Seokjin obeys, cursing under his breath because he expected everything but not for your core to be as warm and wet as she was. With your instructions, he begins moving his fingers while his thumb rubs your clit.

"You are so wet", he croaks, curling his fingers, "I can't believe you are real."

"It feels so good", you sigh, rewarding his perfect efforts by wrapping your hand around his aching length. You begin moving, forcing Seokjin’s touch to falter in pure shock.

"What- ah- what", he stutters, hand wrapping around your wrist and hips moving back in a desperate attempt to flee the unbearable burning of bliss.

"Relax. I can make you feel good too", you encourage him, smiling at him even if his fingers between your legs make it hard to function.

"This, this is so much", he keens, writhing in your hold.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"I, I don’t know yet."

"Then how about I do this?"

You move your hand up and down his length slowly, making him squeeze his eyes shut and whimper.

"How is that?" you ask him.

"Don't stop, please", he begs with his voice slightly pitched.

"I won’t", you promise him, running your hand up and down his length, "you are so beautiful. Such a good boy", you whisper, feeling his cock throb in reaction.

"Oh god", he keens, dropping his head in exhaustion, "oh god, oh god."

"I know, it feels like a lot doesn’t it?" you ask in a soothing voice, massaging his sensitive tip. It fits perfectly into your palm, wetting your skin with his excited pleasure.

Seokjin nods his head, chasing you with a roll of his hips. You hold him back with a gentle grip of his waist, caressing his skin as your fingers dance down his length again. You cup his balls, massaging them slowly.

"Very heavy", you tease lovingly, "you must have so much pressure built up over the years, mhm?"

Seokjin nods his head, letting out a breathy moan.

"Of course you do. That’s what I'm here for now, I’ll take such great care of you", you rasp, taking his cock again to jerk it slowly yet precisely.

"Please don’t stop, ah", he begs in a high-pitched moan.

"I won’t, my dearest. Keep moving your fingers. Can you do that for me?"

Seokjin obeys with a shaky moan and his lips parting in bliss. It is so hard to concentrate on pleasuring you, but he wants to do it. He wants to make you feel as good as you currently make him feel.

"A little to the right", you say.

Seokjin fixes his mistake, throbbing in your hand when you reward him with massages on his frenulum.

"There we go. You are such a diligent student. Such a good, wonderful boy", you praise, basking in the blissful shudder your sweet words send through his body.

You fall into a kiss just seconds later. It is more breathy moans and weak kisses than anything, but it is perfect the way it is. Weak lips, uncoordinated licks, more moans than kisses. All of it is an image of how you both feel. Too overtaken by pleasure to truly function and yet desperate for the other’s kiss. You can’t remember if you ever truly felt that desperate for a man's kiss. Maybe you never did. Seokjin feels so very right, oh so right.

"Keep going, just like this", you encourage him, feeling yourself shudder in bliss when he begins rubbing circles into your clit. His thumb is so soft, the pressure is just right. Maybe that tiny bit too strong, resulting in you dancing on the edge of overstimulation, but it feels so good to dance. It makes your highs feel that much more rewarding whenever you do.

"It's so hard to concentrate", Seokjin whimpers.

"I know, but keep going. You are doing such a great job", you whisper with unoccupied hand hooked behind his neck to keep his forehead resting against yours.

“___”, he moans, “___ it feels so good”, he keens, closing his eyes by letting them roll back.

“Yes, it really does”, you agree, closing your own eyes as a soft sigh slips past your parted lips.

To be so close to each other. It feels like a dream now that you are finally experiencing it. You may have found yourself daydreaming about how it would be to kiss him and touch him and make him feel good. Not much, because you feared that he might catch you in your crude thoughts, but whenever you did, you felt dizzy in desperation.

“Oh how I wanted this, Seokjin”, you sigh mindlessly.

“What do you mean?” he croaks, twitching in your hand.

“You are a dream”, you whispers, “my sweetest dream.”

Seokjin whimpers your name and kisses you. You are his dream too. His sweetest, dearest dream. For the longest time, Seokjin didn’t know why he felt the way he does about you. He couldn’t explain the flutters of his hearts, the tingles in his stomach, the desire to keep glancing at you whenever you weren’t looking. He couldn’t explain what all of those sensations meant for he never experienced them before. But he knows now. He knows that this is what being in love felt like. He really liked that feeling, wanting it to never ever stop.

Seokjin curls his fingers inside you, gasping into the kiss when this makes you clench around him.

“You are so warm”, he whimpers, chasing your taste with desperate licks.

“Seokjin”, his name was muffled by the kiss, but it was still clear in his ears. He kisses you even deeper because of it and you shudder in intense bliss.

“You are so tight”, he whispers, breaking the kiss because you gasped for air.

“I know”, your voice is pitched and barely wants to come out, “don’t stop, stay just like this.”

“What is happening? Why are you so…ah, tight”, he asks, struggling with his words because your hand begins to speed up around his length. His thighs shake in reaction, hot tension begins building up in his stomach.

“Do you feel the tension in your belly?” you ask him, swirling your hand around his leaking tip. It feels so hot under your touch, covering you with so much wetness.

“Yes”, he whimpers, curling his fingers desperately just so you keep rubbing him that way.

“That means you will orgasm soon. I feel the same.”

“Will it hurt?”

“No, it will feel like paradise”, you say and sigh, “Seokjin, I’m close”, you croak, pulling him back into the kiss.

Seokjin moans, thrusting into your fist because he felt like bursting. He wondered if something was wrong with him. Each time you rolled your thumb over his tip, his cock felt on fire and then when you stroked your hand down his shaft that fire spread to the rest of his body. Seokjin never felt that incredible before. It feels so good. It feels so, so good.

“Seokjin”, you whimper, body tensing and walls clenching around his fingers, “now.”

It starts off on your clit, spreading through the rest of your middle before the fire deep inside causes a chain of reactions. You moan loudly, pulling him close as your body begins chasing him in desperate rolls of your hips.

Seokjin sobs softly, “I can't hold back”, he confesses and then he swears that something unnatural happens to his body. His cock feels as if it goes up in flames, wet and hot liquid spurts out of him and the most peculiar part is that he doesn’t want it to stop. He wants it to continue.

Seokjin moans your name, sobs it again a second later, thrusts his hips into your hand, shakes uncontrollably.

“That's it, climax for me, that’s it”, you encourage him in deep growls, fingers almost bruising the back of his neck from how tightly you hold him as your own high prolongs because of his climax. It excites you just way too much. He looks so perfect when he finds release.

“O-oh god”, Seokjin gets out, falling around your neck once his orgasm stopped. He hugs you, shivering uncontrollably while he barely gets any air into his lungs, “W-what happened?”

You smile softly, wrapping your arms around him safely.

“Didn't that feel wonderful?”

“I, I don’t know. Oh god, I can’t breathe.”

You chuckle fondly, “lean onto me, my dearest. I'm right here.”

“Do you feel the same?”

“Yes, I feel so dizzy”, you say, closing your eyes to enjoy his warmth. You climaxed so wonderfully. Your whole body feels weak and so incredibly warm.

Seokjin shudders, releasing a big sigh of relief and happiness. He grows soft in your hold, hands squeezing your sides as his arms close further around you.

“This was so nice”, he whispers, “it scared me at first, but it was really nice.”

You smile, “trust me, you won’t feel scared soon. You'll probably grow quite addicted to the feeling.”

Seokjin nods his head, “I think so too. I already want it again.”

You laugh, moving back just enough that you could gaze at his face. Seokjin does the same, looking at you with droopy yet happy eyes.

“I see how it is”, you snicker, “oh Seokjin, I don’t think I'll ever let you go again”, you say.

“Good. I don’t want you to”, he whispers, “I can stay with you, can't I?”

“Yes, it would make me the happiest if you did.”

Seokjin smiles and cups your face.

“My world”, he sighs, giving you no time to answer him before he already has you lost in another kiss.

You spend most of the night exploring each other. And come the next morning, Seokjin wakes you up with his face between your legs and his cock pressing into the mattress. You spend the entire day in bed, showing him even more possibilities of pleasure while Seokjin listens and learns like the diligent student he is.

659 notes · View notes

rkivsfe · 11 months

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namjin layouts.

headers aren't mine; credit to its owners.

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ffairyy-art · 6 months

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smooches for the cutest boy! 🐹💕🐿️

#my art #2seok #bts #bts fanart #artists on tumblr #art #digital art #jung hoseok #kim seokjn

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ugh-yoongi · 1 year

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Soft, romantic and drunk bf Yoongi waking you up by going down on you when he gets in late after a night of drink (with OT7/ after suchwita/ whatever) in which he could not stop thinking about you and your pussy.

I can even give inspo: tu mbl r.co m/poutyniall/714256286018142208/tongue-technology

yeah hey hi hello thanks for sending this. after only receiving PG requests this really sent me into a spiral.

crescendo

pairing: yoongi x reader (no pronouns used, but gendered terms are used for genitalia) genre: established relationship au; smut, fluff warnings: alcohol, swearing, yoongi is tipsy and just a horny pining disaster, previously discussed and consenting somnophilia, oral sex, unedited. rating: explicit. minors do not interact. wordcount: 1k listen to: middle of the night by elley duhé

Amongst his group of friends, Yoongi is the only one who gets like this when he’s drunk.

Some people regress and act half their age (Seokjn). Some people are overly-affectionate and stumble over compliments (Jimin). Some people try to pick philosophical debates over the point at which bread ceases to be bread and becomes toast (Namjoon). Some people bypass the philosophical entirely and go straight to the conspiratorial (Taehyung). Some people take one sip and slump over in the booth, moaning that they’re half-dead (Hoseok). Finally, some people don’t even bother to show up, because they’re too busy staying home and playing Overwatch to check their texts (Jungkook).

Yoongi, though—Yoongi gets horny.

The kind of horny that has him looking away each time someone’s tongue darts out to catch a stray drop of alcohol. The kind of horny that has him doing complex mathematical equations in his head to determine if he could conceivably lock himself in a bathroom stall and get it out of his system before anyone becomes suspicious. The kind of horny that has him sending you half-legible text messages under the table, detailing every dirty thing he wants to do to you, despite the fact you told him hours ago you were going to shower and go to sleep.

Fuck. He needs to get out of here.

“Aw, look at Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin teases, and everyone except Hoseok creates a chorus of laughter. Yoongi’s cheeks burn, made worse by the garish yellow-red lights of this bar. “I can’t decide if I should be jealous or concerned.”

Namjoon scoffs. “Why would you be concerned, Jimin-ah? Sex is a normal, beautiful thing, and it’s absolute bullshit that people use it as a point of shame—”

“Yeah, okay, that’s my cue,” Seokjin says around a fake gag. “Who had the tab tonight? Just send me a request—”

“You had the tab, you fucker—”

Seokjin hears none of it. Just says, “Mm, bye,” and then he’s gone. Which is Yoongi’s cue too, because he’s the second-oldest and therefore second in command, and the rest of them won’t even hesitate to stick him with the bill because it happens every single time it’s Seokjin’s turn to pay.

So he lies. Says, “Hyung will pay it in a minute. Gotta piss first,” and stumbles out the back.

He’ll hear about it later, if not from his four dongsaengs then certainly his ancestors, but he needs to be home. Needs to feel you spread out beneath him—your sleep-warmed skin, still soft from your shower, the scent of your body wash stubbornly clinging on. Needs to press his lips to every inch of it. Needs the smell and taste of you overwhelming him. Needs to hear all those little sounds you make.

The longer this taxi ride drags on, the more paranoid he becomes. Can the driver tell how fucked up he is in his backseat? Can he see the way Yoongi’s fingers are gripping the worn leather? How desperately he’s trying to keep quiet every time something explicit plays in his memory? He’d understand, Yoongi thinks; he’d understand if he knew you, saw you. He wouldn’t be able to blame Yoongi at all.

Seoul passes by in a blur, all neon reds and blues and whites. Everything is still so alive, even at this god-forsaken hour, and it makes him dizzy. Has his head spinning. He’s drunk and he’s horny and he just wants to be next to you.

Somehow, he manages to dig his phone out of his pocket despite how tight they’ve grown over the last hour. Goes straight to his texts, pointedly ignores all the ones in the groupchat yelling at him and Seokjin, and presses on your name. He’s less drunk now than he was before, but the messages still don’t make sense. Yoongi groans, throws his head back against the seat. Next time he’s just going to skip the bullshit and send you pictures. No use speaking in tongues when hieroglyphics could work much better.

The next five minutes play out like this: the taxi stops outside your building, Yoongi hands over a stack of money that’s undoubtedly too thick, he stumbles up the steps two at a time, so close yet still too far away.

And then there’s the door.

“This okay, baby?”

A nip of teeth at the junction of your thigh. Hands gripping at your waist, fingers dimpling your skin. Warm breath ghosting over your wet cunt. Yoongi’s head between your thighs as he kneels on the bed. You’re unsure if you’re conscious or not, but as you tangle your hands in Yoongi’s soft hair, you decide it doesn’t matter.

So you nod, angle your hips closer to Yoongi’s face. A whisper-soft gasp when he presses a kiss to your thigh, one to your clit; a strangled moan when you feel him smile against you before flattening his tongue and licking a stripe up your slit.

“Fuck,” he groans, doing it again, pulling away only long enough to say, “thought about this pussy all fucking night. You taste so good.”

Yoongi indulges in your body the way other people indulge in vices: incessantly, obsessively. But you aren’t a vice, are you? You’re not something to be ashamed of; not something wicked. As Yoongi continues working you over with his mouth, so sloppy and overeager you can feel it dampening the sheets beneath you, it feels like reverence.

It isn’t long before the heat starts simmering in your belly. Not long before everything starts feeling overwhelming; before your visions starts blurring at the edges. “Yoong, I’m—”

He hums against your core. Sucks hard once at your clit, and then you’re tumbling over the edge. “Goddamn, I love you,” Yoongi says into your skin. “That’s it, give it to me, baby, I love you.”

It feels predestined.

#beeday drabbles #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #yoongi scenarios #yoongi imagine #yoongi drabble #yoongi fanfic #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts x reader #jewel answers #jewel writes

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wildestdreamsblog · 1 year

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Can you please do Seokjin "when your bias is another member" I'm really missing him so bad 😩😭

Be Lucky

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Warnings: Nothing! This is flufffff. Be warned

A/N: of course! I miss him too much that this became a soft fic 💜

3000 celebration

“Listen to me,” you enunciated for what probably was the hundredth time. You looked at his dark eyes, your hand squeezing his cheek with enough force to make him focus on you.

God you hoped he listened to you this time. “I’m not into you. I really don’t think I’ll ever be into you-“

“That’s just your opinion-“

You shook your head sternly at him. “It’s really not you. It’s me. I like Taehyung,” you said with strength in your voice. It was the truth. Kim Taehyung was your bias since you knew what biases meant. He was everything you could looked for in an idol: handsome, talented, funny, kind, and did you mention handsome?

And ever since you met him in person, your resolve was strengthened. He was your ultimate bias. You thought you lucked out when you met them in person. Your cousin was Namjoon’s girlfriend and she so kindly invited you to a small party because she knew you were dying to meet them. And it was more than what you dreamed of.

However, Kim Seokjin took notice of you. It was cute at first, and to be quite frank, it boosted your ego. You meant, Jin spent the whole night sitting beside you cracking dad jokes and had you laughing not from his jokes but from how adorable his delivery was. He laughed at his own jokes, for heaven’s sake.

You thought he was merely being kind to you. You missed one event and found him whining about losing his best girl. In a sweet way, he asked you if you were doing fine and that if you ever needed anything, you only needed to call him.

Kim Seokjin was simply endearing…and sweet.

In addition, though, Kim Seokjn was a force to be reckoned with.

Each event you would find him suddenly beside you like a glue. Always. It came to a point that Taehyung would looked at the two of you teasingly, and you could feel your already nonexistent chance with him diluting even further. And so you did the one thing you shouldn’t have done to Seokjin- you avoided him.

When he was about to go to you, you would walked the other way. When Taehyung wouldn’t attend the event, you wouldn’t show up as well. When Jin texted you, 74% of the time you would ignore him…unless it was a really funny dad joke.

Kim Seokjin was a patient man. Really he was. He ought to be after raising six younger boys. But you running away from him tested his patience.

“Bye, noona! Thanks for coming!” Jungkook shouted as he waved at you excessively. You laughed at how drunk he was before stealing a glance at Taehyung who had his arm around the golden maknae.

“Keep safe,” he said in a deep voice that did something to you. You couldn’t help but blush from his simple words. You were tucking your hair behind your ear when you felt a presence beside you.

“I’ll drive you home. Come on,” Seokjin said in a strict voice, the one he reserved for when the boys were becoming unruly. You thought you would never hear him talk to you like that. You looked up at him for the first time since tonight. And for the first time, his eyes looked cold.

“That’s not necessary-“ you trailed off once you saw how he was. He was looking at you, his eyebrow raised as though he was daring you to go against his wishes and you found that you couldn’t. You nodded your head reluctantly, your submission softened his strictness. Seokjin bade his goodbyes to the maknaes quietly before leading you outside. You couldn’t help but notice how he kept his hand on the small of your back as though it belonged there. And Taehyung noticed.

He was serious as he drove you home, his eyes focused on the road. The car was dark, yet you could clearly see his clenched jaw. There was never silence between the two of you. Your personality and his personality were too in tuned with each other that there was never a dull moment with him. Yet, tonight, he walked you to your apartment with nothing but silence. You thanked him for dropping you off, but his answer was merely a look that you couldn’t decipher. You were about to turn your back on him when he said the words you were dreading.

“I like you,” his deep voice resounded over the quietness of the night. Your eyes were wide as you took his relaxed form, his hand in his pocket, his eyes hidden by his cap.

Seokjin looked as casual as his delivery of his crush(?!) to you that it took you a moment to process whatever it was.

“I’m sorry-what?”

“I know you heard me,” he said before walking closer to you, so close that you had to tilt your head up just to look at him. And for the first time that night, he smiled so sweetly as he tilted his head. “I’m going to make you fall so hard for me-“

“I won’t!”

“You will, pretty girl. I’m certain I can.”

That was four months ago, and his efforts had not only been consistent, but they were doubling as the time passed by.

“Hi, my pretty girl.”

You jumped when you heard his voice beside you. You turned without any thought, his proximity making you blushed. Kim Seokjin looked immaculate, an observation that was making you confused because you knew he was handsome… But why the hell were noticing it more now?!

He chuckled before sitting in front of you. “You flirt in the most awkward situation, Kim Seokjin,” you stated, your eyes roaming around the room, feeling the staff’s eyes on the two of you. They were highly entertained seeing the oldest hyung in the group flirt with you nonstop for months.

“But it’s true. You’re so beautiful.”

“Listen, Seokjin,” you started. He smiled at you sweetly before leaning in, his eyes focused on yours entirely. Fuck, he was the beautiful one. “I think you need to focus on other girls. I don’t think I’m the one for you,” you said slowly, reaching out to hold his hand. You thought about this. No way could you keep up with his lifestyle, no way would this turn out to be a happy ending. You were only going to be a hindrance to him. And you loved yourself too much to allow yourself to be in that position. That was precisely why you agreed to meet him in the company. As much as you could feel yourself slowly falling for his charms, you couldn’t allow yourself to take the next step.

He frowned, his lower lip protruding as he pouted. “Is it because…I’m not like Taehyung? Is it because I’m not attractive to you?”

What?

Your jaw dropped when he uttered those words. How could he say that? He looked so ethereal that you thought it shouldn’t be legal to look as perfect as he did. Why was he doubting himself?

“No you’re handsome and you’re kind and you’re the sweetest! Anyone would be lucky to have you!”

He blinked owlishly, his beautiful eyes boring into you. “Then date me.”

You heard Jungkook coughed from somewhere, and Jimin paused his chatter with Yoongi. They were eating happily when they heard their hyung. It was so peculiar to see Jin go after someone. It was usually the other way around, but the group knew you were different. In fact, you were so different that Jin fell for you instantly.

“What??”

“You heard me. Date me.”

“I-I’m no-“

“Date me. You said I’m a good person. You said anyone would be lucky to have me. So date me. Be lucky.”

He had rendered you speechless that you found yourself agreeing. You didn’t know why you said yes to him that day. But you were glad you did.

Kim Seokjin was worth the risk

#kim seokjin fic #3000 celebration #kim seokjin x you #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x y/n #bts fic #bts fluff #jin x you

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chaemingly · 11 months

Text

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ -ˋ. 𝒰sers for (𝗜𝗚) 𝗈𝗋 𝘁𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗿 : seokjin (BTS) .ˊ-

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ⸸ྀㅤㅤ seokjnes ㅤㅤ︵ㅤㅤ seokjinrts

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ⸸ྀㅤㅤ poeskjn ㅤㅤ︵ㅤㅤ wrldsjin

ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ♡ or ↻ , thanks. ➷ divider's by me. 

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blog-name-idk · 2 years

Text

Mold a Pretty Lie | 05

Pairing: professor!Jin x Fem undergrad!Reader

Genre: College!AU, Unhealthy relationships, toxic relationships, virgin reader, eventual yandere, eventual smut

Summary: They say love is like a garden that requires regular care and attention. Kim Seokjin, your kind and handsome professor, is more than happy to cultivate the vines that bind his heart to yours.

Word Count: 4,727

Rating: 18+

~~~~~

Seokjin was staring.

He knew it would be obvious to anyone looking, but luckily for him it was just the two of you in his office, and you were absorbed in reading an article. There was no one to call him out on the way his gaze was laser focused on you.

Or, to be exact, the bruise on your lovely, otherwise unblemished neck. One that looked suspiciously like it had been made by a pair of eager lips.

He didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit.

Who exactly had you allowed to mark your skin like that? Was it one of the boys who had gotten you drunk the first time? Did you go out with them again despite his cautionary advice?

Seokjin shouldn't care so much about what you did in your free time. This was probably a good thing - you would get over your crush on him, finish your project, and go on to do whatever great things you were sure to accomplish. The thought left a bitter taste in Seokjn's mouth. Despite his best efforts, his curiosity consumed him to the point where he found himself biting back suspicious queries he technically had no reason to make.

Several days later, the question answered itself. The bruise was almost gone, faded to an imperceptible hue that he could only see because of how intently he studied you when you weren't looking. No new ones had appeared to replace it, and Seokjin found himself relaxing. Perhaps it was just a one-off. You were young, it was likely you had just had a careless lapse in judgment, or -

"[Y/n]!"

Seokjin watched your head swivel, and the way you smiled at the handsome boy in the doorway made his own stomach clench into a hard knot. Why were you looking at this boy the way you looked at him?

"Aw Tae, you didn't have to come all the way here, I'm just finishing up," you said happily, though you spared an apologetic glance at your professor that did nothing to dull the thorns pricking his chest.

He recalled that this was one of the boys from your group project - Kim Taehyung. Who had taken you out and gotten you drunk, and was now smiling at you in a way that set Seokjin's teeth on edge. And you were calling him Tae. The two of you were close enough for nicknames?

"Hey Dr. Kim, great lecture yesterday! I'm just here to take [y/n] off your hands," said Taehyung with a sincere, boxy grin that Seokjin wanted to rip off his face. Seokjin forced himself to give the student his usual carefree smile before he pretended to review the paper he had been grading, feeling an inordinate amount of irritation filling his veins.

Take you off his hands? You were his research assistant. This Taehyung was just some college kid who was clearly distracting you from your studies with his charm and good looks. Was he the reason you had been leaving on time these days rather than staying around to chat after hours? Was he the one who had left that taunting mark on your neck?

"I could have met up with you at your dorm," you said over your shoulder as you logged out of the computer. Seokjin tensed. You had been to this boy's dorm? Bitter tendrils of darkness began to twine themselves around his chest, shadows made longer by the bright glow of your smile.

"But I wanted to see you sooner," the boy said with an obnoxious pout. Jin wanted to roll his eyes, but it was clear Taehyung's comment had had the desired effect, because the flustered look you sometimes wore around him appeared on your face. Couldn't you tell this kid was just trying to get in your pants?

"You're impossible," you scolded, though the way you beamed at him revealed your true feelings. Something akin to nausea simmered in Seokjin's gut at the eager way you grabbed your bag and scurried to Taehyung, and when the boy wrapped an overly familiar arm around your waist his vision flashed red.

He leaned in close - too close - to whisper something in your ear, and your soft giggle added fuel to Seokjin's irritation.

"I'll see you tomorrow, professor!" you chirped happily, letting Taehyung usher you out the door. By the time Seokjin could reply, you were gone, leaving behind a mass of angry vines in his chest.

He stared unseeing at the paper on his desk, unable to keep his mind from wandering to what the two of you were doing. You said you were going to meet him at his dorm - were you… going to stay there? Alone? Would you show up to his next lecture with a new hickey to replace the one that was almost gone?

A loud crack broke Seokjin out of his spiraling thoughts, and he looked at his now ink-covered hand to see he had snapped his pen in two. He let out a frustrated growl and tossed the broken plastic into the trash before stalking out of his office to wash his hands.

Why was he so fucking irritated? You two were college students. College students hung out and flirted and hooked up all the time, it was normal.

But you, you were anything but normal. You deserved the best, not some barely post-pubescent child who didn't know what they were doing. Your smiles were too precious to be wasted on boys like Taehyung, your laugh too dear. Judging by what he had seen today, you seemed to be completely smitten, liable to get your heart broken by a boy you were far too good for.

Vines constricted around Seokjin's chest as he remembered your tear-stained face so long ago, the quaver of your voice as you tried not to cry. He couldn't let that happen again.

He rounded the corner and stopped short, the scene before him searing itself into his mind with infuriating acuity. You, backed against the wall, wrapped in Taehyung's undeserving arms as he kissed you. You, pretty fingers threaded through Taehyung's hair as his tongue invaded your mouth. You, sighing in a way that made Seokjin's blood run hot as Taehyung's hands drifted down your lower back.

"Ahem."

As soon as you registered the awkward throat clearing, you broke away from the boy and stared at Seokjin with utter mortification on your face.

"P-professor," you stammered, hands immediately scrunching at your shirt in an anxious fidget. You were slightly breathless, and Seokjin tried not to be distracted by the way you chewed your lower lip. It was already swollen from your… activities… and your teeth were only making it more apparent. "Uh, w-we were just - "

"Sorry Dr. Kim," said Taehyung cheerfully, clearly feeling none of your embarrassment. He took your hand in his, blissfully unaware of the fury brewing under his professor's skin. Seokjin was struck with the sudden urge to break the fingers currently lacing their way between yours. "We'll get out of your hair."

The boy tugged you away and you left, meeting Seokjin's eyes with a backwards glance that looked almost as agonized as he felt. He realized he was grinding his teeth, jaw tense as he stared at your retreating form. Was Taehyung taking you somewhere to finish what he'd started?

The thought of that pretty sigh of yours popped into his mind unbidden, and he swallowed hard as his hand clenched into a fist. The stickiness of the drying ink reminded him of what he had come out here for in the first place, and with a sigh he went to the bathroom.

Seokjin watched the ink run off his skin down the drain, but the image of your body pressed against Taehyung's refused to disappear.

~~~~~

"H-hi, Dr. Kim," you stammered awkwardly, hovering in the doorway like you had at the beginning of the semester. "Um, how are you today?"

You kept your eyes fixed on his chest, unable to bear the possibility of seeing judgment or disappointment marring your professor's handsome features.

Why had you let Taehyung kiss you like that not a minute after leaving the office? What started as an innocent peck turned into two, then three, to more soft kisses that had made your knees weak and your chest fill with warm honey. Before you knew it, you were pressed between the wall and his body, surroundings forgotten.

Of course someone would come across you, and of course with your luck it was the last person you'd pick. What must he think of you now?

"I finished the first draft of the research paper," you babbled, not letting him respond to your question as you shuffled into his office. Maybe if you never shut up, he would forget he'd seen anything. "I think it - "

"Relax, [y/n]."

Your professor's voice, full of its usual good humor, cut off your panicked ramblings and you looked up to see his familiar smile. Your shoulders sagged in relief, and you gave him a tentative smile back. Until he motioned for you to sit across from him at his desk rather than the separate table you usually worked at.

You obeyed with trepidation, sinking into the chair and doing your best not to die of embarrassment.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday," you began preemptively, feeling heat prickle your neck as you remembered your professor's shocked face. "I shouldn't have - "

"It's alright, [y/n]," Dr. Kim's soothing voice cut you off again. "You're an adult, and you weren't disrupting a class."

He trailed off, and you looked at him in confusion. If he wasn't upset with you about that, then why did he want to initiate a discussion? You ignored the prickle of your own disappointment at the fact that he didn't seem to care at all that he had seen you kiss another boy.

Dr. Kim cleared his throat, looking uncharacteristically hesitant as you looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain what he wanted to discuss.

"Before I go on I'd like to say that this topic isn't strictly appropriate to discuss, but I feel it's important because I care about you as a person in addition to being my student," your professor began, and you felt your stomach flutter at the bare suggestion that he might see you as more than just a charge he was guiding.

"Not… appropriate?" you asked faintly, shoving down the thrill his words sent down your spine. You were overthinking, like you always did.

"That boy - Taehyung - is he your boyfriend?"

You blinked, completely caught off guard by the question. That had not been what you were expecting.

"N-no, not… yet?"

Your reply was pathetically tentative, and you hated yourself for your inflection. Taehyung was certainly sweet and affectionate, but there hadn't been any discussion about feelings or relationships. But that was normal, right? The two of you were getting to know each other better, and since the party he had been showering you with affection.

The slight furrow of your professor's brow said something different.

"I don't mean to pry or overstep, but isn't that the same person that got you drunk the night before my lecture?"

Dr. Kim's words sent hot flames of shame licking at your cheeks, and you shifted self-consciously as you found your eyes drawn to a scratch on his desk. How did he remember that? And why did you tell him about it in the first place? You ran a finger along the grooved wood and nodded, because your throat felt too constricted to speak.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, I'm just concerned," he said quietly, reaching across the desk to put his hand over yours. Your professor's touch was gentle, and he gave you a reassuring squeeze that sent warm tingles through your veins.

"Um, I don't intend to let any relationships interfere with my schoolwork or research," you offered, as it was the only thing you could think of that he might worry about. It was hard to think rationally when you were distracted by his soft skin and the fervent hope for your hand not to start sweating.

You peeked up at him to see a fond smile on his face, soft and sweet and dangerously close to daydreams where he'd smile at you for other reasons. His eyes caught yours, and for a moment you found yourself captivated, unable to look away.

"Of course not," he replied with a chuckle. Then he hesitated again, looking at you with so much concern you felt your insides melting.

"I know it's not my place, I just don't want to see you get hurt or taken advantage of."

Huh? Your confusion must have shown on your face, because those plump lips twitched again into a rueful smile.

"You're a beautiful girl, [y/n], anyone can see that, and I worry that your… friend's intentions aren't completely pure."

You were vaguely aware that you were staring, but it was taking all of your mental capacity to process the words that had just tumbled out of your professor's lips. Did he - did he just say you were beautiful? Not pretty, not hot, but beautiful?

Before you could spiral completely, the end of his sentence nudged your mind.

"Taehyung's not - he's not like that," you said uncertainly, though doubt began to poke at your chest. He was always openly flirty and affectionate with everyone - had you made a mistake thinking you might be special? Dr. Kim squeezed your hand again, and the sympathy on his face made you feel both giddy and shy.

"I saw Taehyung speaking privately with Miss Lee last Monday," he said simply, grip tightening on yours as your face fell. "I'm not sure what it was about, but it looked... somewhat intimate."

"W-what? But…"

That didn't make any sense, Taehyung and Lee Yoojin weren't friends. You had never even seen them speak to each other. Yoojin had even been a part of the group of girls that had made your first few weeks hell for monopolizing the boys' (and Dr. Kim's) attention. And Monday? That was after the two of you had kissed, after the two of you had started - as Phoebe would call it - "hanging out."

Then again, even if it was true, it wasn't like Taehyung was technically doing anything wrong. He hadn't promised you anything, even if his actions had led you to believe that what you had was something special. Maybe you were just being too hopeful, overly clingy when he just saw this as a fun way to pass the time.

It still stung.

You didn't want it to be true, but Dr. Kim had no reason to lie to you, no reason to stick his unnecessarily perfect nose into student drama. You looked down on the grain of his desk as heat prickled your eyes, too distracted to notice the way your professor's own gaze flickered to the way you were chewing your lower lip.

Dr. Kim pulled you out of your thoughts by nestling your hand between both of his, and you felt your face grow warm despite the way your thoughts were racing.

"I'm sorry, [y/n], I didn't mean to upset you," your professor said apologetically, looking worried at your silence. It was an odd sensation, to be both dejected and embarrassed by his revelation but still feel delight from his touch. "I just thought you should know."

"It's okay," you mumbled, wondering why he always had to see you at your lowest. Even if it was gratifying, the way he looked out for you when he didn't need to. "I just feel like an idiot."

Your breath hitched when his thumbs began rubbing distracting, light circles on your skin, and you looked up at him in surprise. He was smiling at you, so much sincerity in his dark brown eyes that you could feel more of those flowers blooming in your heart.

"Don't say that," Dr. Kim said firmly, apparently oblivious to the way his touch was making your mind and pulse race. "You're a lovely person, both inside and out. If he doesn't see that, then he doesn't deserve you. And it's just your first year, there's no need to rush into anything in any case."

There it was again.

Lovely. Beautiful. Did he really think that? He couldn't know that every time he spoke, his sweet words wrapped around your heart in a knotted mess you had no desire to untangle.

"Thank you," you managed bashfully, hoping he didn't catch the breathless quality of your voice. "I - I know you have a lot more important things to do, so you taking the time to talk to me about this is - I just - um, I really appreciate it. It means a lot."

"I've already told you, there's nothing more important than your well-being."

And there was another seed in your chest, sown as gently and carefully as each stroke of his thumb against your skin. Your professor's words were a balm against the wound of his earlier revelation, soothing the humiliation and making you feel lighter than you expected.

"You're going to give me a big head," you giggled, smiling at him and hoping your admiration wasn't completely obvious. Dr. Kim looked genuinely pleased to have cheered you up, and for a moment you let yourself drink in twinkling dark eyes, his full lips, and inviting smile. For a moment, you let yourself pretend that he wasn't your professor, that he was holding your hand and calling you beautiful for another reason entirely.

Then a door slammed outside, shattering your illusion. The both of you jumped, and Dr. Kim gave a chagrined laugh before pulling his hands away. The moment was gone.

~~~~~

"[Y/n]! Want to get coffee?"

You forced a smile as Taehyung bounded up to you after lecture, Jimin following after with his usual cheeky grin. As you finished packing up your bag, your eyes met Dr. Kim's, and you felt your heart skitter. You couldn't quite decipher the expression on his face, but you assumed it was worry, considering the news he had given you a few days before.

"Um, I actually have to get somewhere," you hedged apologetically, though the way Taehyung's face fell made your stomach churn a little in guilt.

"You've been so busy lately," he whined, looking at you like a kicked puppy.

You hesitated, especially when Jimin added his pout to the mix, before you glanced over their shoulders to see Lee Yoojin staring at you with narrowed eyes. Her cold gaze was enough to douse the ember of guilt that had appeared in your chest, and you suddenly felt a spark of irritation take its place.

"Actually," you began, deciding to seize your courage now before you could change your mind, "Tae, could I talk to you alone for a second?"

Jimin sighed, before shocking you by wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing soft lips against your cheek. "I'll let you guys be for now, but I'm not letting Taehyung monopolize you forever," he complained, making your own mouth fall open in surprise. What did that mean? He pranced off before you could answer, leaving you even more confused than ever.

Taehyung was smiling at you as if you were the only person in the room, but when you spared a glance to the front of the lecture hall and realized Dr. Kim was still watching. Had he seen Jimin's kiss? You hoped he didn't think you were being stupid, or that you were ignoring his advice from earlier.

"Let's get that coffee first," you sighed, grabbing your backpack and slinging it over your shoulder. Your friend's eyes brightened and he grabbed your hand like he'd been doing recently. You felt like it would be too awkward to refuse, and you let him lead you out of the lecture hall, wondering if you were imagining the sensation of eyes boring into the back of your head.

You stewed in your thoughts as the two of you walked to the cafe in the student union, oblivious to the way your silence put a glimmer of concern in Taehyung's eyes. He paid for your coffee despite your protests, and as soon as you sat down at one of the rickety tables he took the chair next to yours, letting his knees brush against your own.

"Is everything okay?" Taehyung asked, and you took a bracing sip of your drink before meeting his gaze. You had made a split second decision to talk to him about what was going on, but you had no idea how to broach the topic.

"What were you talking to Yoojin about last Monday?" you blurted before you lost your nerve, internally berating yourself for sounding like a jealous girlfriend. Tae's eyes widened, and his next words only made you feel worse.

"How did you hear about that?" he asked in surprise, looking uncharacteristically nervous. Your stomach dropped at his expression, your mind already racing to the worst possible explanation.

"Does it matter?" you asked with a frown, not missing the implication that he didn't seem to have intended to tell you. You looked down, playing with the edges of your coffee sleeve so you didn't have to keep looking at him. "I just - I know we're not anything, but I thought…"

"Um, she wanted to… uh, start hooking up," Taehyung mumbled. "Like we did at the beginning of the semester. But I said no!"

"What?"

You felt odd. Fuzzy. Hazy. Like it was someone else sitting there, trying to understand what was happening.

"Jimin and I… we hooked up with her at the beginning of the semester," Taehyung explained nervously, and something icy settled in the pit of your stomach. Both of them?

"At… the same time?" you asked faintly, taking another gulp in the hope that the warmth of your coffee would help thaw the cold feeling inside of you. It didn't.

It wasn't so much that they'd done something wrong - it was that you had no idea, and apparently Taehyung had had no intention to tell you. Why? Was it because he thought it would lessen the chances of… of doing the same with you?

Taehyung cleared his throat awkwardly, his cheeks tinged a faint pink that you would have found cute at any other time. "Uh, yeah. And separately, too. But it was before we met you!"

"Oh."

Another frigid shard pierced your chest as you remembered Jimin's words and actions earlier. They had both always been flirty and affectionate, but… was this just a thing they did? Had their end goal been to eventually have you in their bed? Would you then be discarded for a newer model like apparently Yoojin had?

"Is that - is that what you want from me?" you asked, unable to keep the hurt from your tone. "Is that all this is?"

His eyes widened, and he shook his head frantically, taking your hand in his own. You pulled it away.

"What?! No, of course not," he said in a rush, looking a little desperate at your action. "[Y/n], I really like you."

A few days earlier those words would have made you elated. Now, you weren't sure what to feel. What if he was just saying that to appease you?

"So what was that Jimin said about you 'monopolizing me'?" you asked flatly, crossing your arms as you waited for Taehyung's response. He wilted at your tone, and you hardened your heart against the effect of his devastating puppy eyes.

"He likes you too," he mumbled, looking worried about your reaction. "But he'll drop it if it makes you uncomfortable!"

Uh. What? This was officially too much for your brain and heart to handle.

"I… I think I need some time," you finally managed, wondering what kind of alternate reality you had found yourself in. How exactly had you gone from invisible to… whatever the fuck this was, in just a few months?

"I - yeah, okay," said Taehyung reluctantly. He looked so dejected you found yourself wanting to console him, especially since he had been nothing but sweet to you. But this was all new territory, and you didn't want to blindly believe in someone you had just met a few months ago.

You didn't hate him - you couldn't, and he really technically hadn't done anything wrong. And he was being honest now that you'd asked him point blank, which you appreciated. It would just take some time to soothe the cracks in your chest, and think about what you wanted without being influenced by pretty eyes and stolen kisses.

"We are still friends though, right?" Taehyung asked anxiously, looking at you with those puppy dog eyes that were so difficult to resist. You felt your smile grow into something more genuine, cautiously optimistic that he seemed to want to be friends even without the option of something more.

"Of course, Tae. I'll let you know if - if anything changes."

The relief on his face was palpable, and for a split second you wondered if you had misjudged him and the situation. But then a familiar set of broad shoulders at the counter caught your eye, and you remembered your professor's words.

"You're a lovely person, both inside and out. If he doesn't see that, then he doesn't deserve you. And it's just your first year, there's no need to rush into anything, in any case."

Dr. Kim was right, there was no reason for you to rush headfirst into whatever this thing with Taehyung was - had been.

Your professor turned and you forced yourself to look back at Taehyung, feeling embarrassed. You especially shouldn't be pining after a man just because he was gorgeous and kind to you. And thought you were beautiful.

"I really do have to go to my next class now," you said apologetically, trying to reassure Taehyung by patting his head the way you knew he liked. "But I'll see you in lecture on Friday, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he replied, also standing up and giving you a relieved smile. His one-armed hug was comforting, a reassurance to the both of you, and as you watched him you felt another pang of uncertainty that you pushed away.

You let out a sigh, slumping in your seat, suddenly exhausted. Had you made the right decision? Or were you just being an oversensitive prude? Why couldn't these things just have a definitive, empirical answer?

A blueberry muffin plopped down on the table, startling you out of your musings. When you glanced up, Dr. Kim was smiling down at you.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his tone even softer than the expression on his face.

"I - I'm fine," you replied, shocked by your professor's intuition and consideration. It never even occurred to you that he might have been eavesdropping.

"Good," he murmured, his approving tone making your chest thrum. "I've been worried."

The words chased away the lingering discontent leftover from your conversation with Taehyung. Your professor cared, enough to check up on you and even get you a treat to cheer you up when he thought you were upset. You remembered the Powerade he had left you, and forced away the petals that stirred in your chest at the thought.

"I'm a big girl, professor," you retorted lightly, giving him a cheeky grin that surprised even yourself. "You don't have to worry so much."

Dr. Kim's laugh was light and free, cheering you up even further.

"Too late," he teased back, those plush lips of his curved into a wicked grin. The sheer playfulness of his response almost sent you reeling, but you were able to gather yourself enough to give a good-natured eye roll.

"I'm not that helpless, am I?" you asked almost petulantly, looking up at your professor with your best pout. To your surprise, his eyes went wide and he stared at you for a moment before responding.

"Apparently not," he replied with a slight cough, looking oddly disconcerted. For some reason, the tips of his ears had gone pink. He wasn't getting sick, was he?

"Are you okay, professor?"

At your query, Dr. Kim straightened, though something in his smile was different in a way you couldn't quite place.

"Of course, [y/n], never better."

~~~~~

Next | Masterlist

Tags: @moonleeai @random-and-out-of-context @amenjiminsan @innebulae @lonewolfsinclair @seoqity @lilacdreams-00 @chowb @shescharlie @mazmaz30 @definetlythinkimanalien @seokjins-luigi @lucci-girl @xicanacorpse @bighitbabie @8loominghell @jung-nika-hoseok @staradorned @zealouslightcookiebasketball @kissme-ornot @dyhrbls @nabiolive

#bts imagines #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts jin #bts x reader #bts x you #kim seokjin x reader #bts x y/n #jin x reader #bts yandere #yandere seokjin

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biaswreckmepls · 5 months

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Okay, since the last poll was a tie, I’m taking a veto decision to go with Joon this time 🫶🏽

Please remember to reblog after you vote to increase the sample size!

#bts fic rec #bangtan fic rec #tumblr poll #poll #tumblr polls #polls #bts poll #bts polls #namjin #Namkook #namseok #Minjoon #Taejoon #namgi

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cyberhobi · 3 years

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the coolest

#seokjn #bts #festa21 #muster #video #ooc

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sugarsugarmoon · 4 years

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Summary: Kim Seokjin had always been in your life. Like satellites you seemed to revolve around the same center, always coming back together. He had been the friend that would always be a constant in your life. When everything in your life starts to change and you feel like the trajectory of your orbit has changed, Seokjin is there to both hold you down and throw you even more out of control.

Genre: fluff, angst, smut

Warnings: recreational alcohol use, swearing, infidelity, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), bad dad jokes (I’m so sorry), a lot of tension, sexual and otherwise. It’s actually pretty vanilla.

a/n: I am weeeeeeaaaaak. t’s unedited. I promise I plan to go back and fix all the typos at some point this week.

Pairing: ksj x reader

Word Count: 10,888

When you open your eyes, you see Kim Seokjin beaming at you from across the cake, smoke swirling up between the two of you. You scoop up some icing from the cake and, in what feels like slow motion, wipe some of the blue sugar on Seokjin’s nose. You giggle at the sight of him. He sticks his fingers in and scoops up cake and frosting and wipes them across your cheek. Before it can evolve into a full-blown food fight, your mom gets between the two of you, giving you both a stern look. The two of you giggle, much to your mom’s chagrin.

Most of your memories of your childhood feel like this. The most consistent thing in your memories from your childhood is Kim Seokjin, his smile, his laugh, and the way you always felt safe around him. The two of you running around outside between your houses, in the same neighborhood but one street apart. Sidewalk chalk coating your fingers and your knees. Sweat trickling down your brows and skin turning red in the summer heat. Gloved fingers throwing snowballs in the winter months while giggles filled the crispy air.

The two of you were inseparable. That is...until middle school.

When you were in middle school, Seokjin asked you to go to the dance with him, and you were so embarrassed that you’d immediately rejected him. Both of your faces were bright red as you told him that you couldn’t be seen with him because everyone would think you were interested in him. You regretted saying it to him almost immediately, but the damage had already been done.

The two of you drifted apart after that. He avoided eye contact with you in the hallway at school, and you felt guilty but never enough to say anything about it. Seokjin continued living his life. You saw his name on the posters for school plays, running for class president, and always around with his friends laughing.

Of course you voted for him and quietly sat in the back of the amphitheater for every production he was in. You never told him. You never told your friends, but you loved him despite your selfishness. Your group of friends in high school never knew about how inseparable you and Seokjin had been, and you assumed his didn’t either.

In April of your junior year of high school, your parents told you that you would be going on a trip that summer to a home that they’d bought in Buan, near the Yellow Sea. You’d be spending the entire summer in South Korea, even though you hadn’t been there since you were a child. You were excited to be able to spend the summer in another country, but you were pretty bummed that you were going to have to spend the whole summer away from your friends, Gwangju the only big city nearby.

Even though you were apprehensive, at the end of May, you said goodbye to all of your friends and promised to message each other online every single night, even though you’d be in different time zones. You cried through the whole airport and even on the plane sitting next to your mom.

She just kept whispering, “shhh,내 새끼 (Nae saeggi), you will love it. We will have so much fun,” while she held your hand.

After a while, you fell asleep holding your mom’s hand, wrapped in one of those thin airplane blankets. When you woke up, you were landing in Korea. The rest of the day was a blur, but you will never forget the moment that you first saw the Yellow Sea. The mountains off in the distance creating a scalloped silhouette against the sky, and the water meeting the shore creating a whirlwind of different blues and greens. It felt like something shifted in you, like you were meant to be here.

When you went inside of the little blue cabin, your breath was taken away. The wooden cabin felt homey and comfortable. Your mom showed you to your room, and you were floored by the view from the bay window. You hardly even noticed that there were two beds in your room when you started unpacking your clothes. You tried to put the pictures of you and your friends all over the room along with small trinkets from your life back home. It started to feel like your own.

As you were about to settle in for a nap, you hear your mom’s voice in the kitchen along with a few voices that you recognize but can’t quite place. When there’s a young male voice, you start to put it together. Before your brain can even form his name, your mom pushes the door opened followed by the last person you expected to see here. Seokjin.

“y/n, the Kims have arrived,” your mom said like you knew that they were coming or something.

“엄마!! What are they doing here?!” You jumped up off of the bed straightening your clothing and smoothing your hair.

Your mother’s face flushed, and she flew across the room to you, pulling you close to her. She whispered in angry, fast Korean, and you only caught bits and pieces. You didn’t need to know exactly what she’s saying to know that you’d embarrassed her, and she was upset. Your face flushed, and you felt the warmth in your cheeks. Hanging your head, you look at the floor in front of Seokjin’s mom’s feet.

“I’m so sorry. I was just surprised,” you mutter, your tone ashamed.

“It’s all right, y/n. I imagine Seokjin and Seokjoong were surprised as well. We didn’t tell you kids that we would be spending the summer together,” she approached you, taking your hand in hers. “We will have a wonderful summer, dear.”

Your eyes met hers, and they were soft and caring. You felt a sense of comfort looking into her eyes. While you looked at her, you saw a small movement out of your peripheral. As the movement continued and the shuffling sound increased, you turned to see Seokjin being pushed by his father into the room, a stuffed alpaca under his arm. He dragged his rolling suitcase behind him and settled next to the second bed in the room.

“W-what is going on?” you stammered.

“Well, y/n,” she looked between you and Seokjin, “because there are only four rooms, you and Seokjin will share this one.”

“What?!”

You turned to your mom exasperatedly and stomp your foot. She’s looking at you with fire in her eyes. “You will share the room with Seokjin, and you will not complain.”

Your eyes met the floor again. “Yes, 엄마.”

You grumbled to yourself in your head, but you turned back to Seokjin, shot him a dirty look, and turned back to your bed. You flopped down with a heavy sigh and popped in your earbuds. There was nothing you could do about it, and you weren’t going to push your mother further about how it made more sense to you for Joong to share a room with Jin. Your mother and the Kims were more traditional, and, because Joong was the oldest, he had the right to more privacy and his own space.

The first night was a lot of huffing and sulking from both you and Jin. You made sure to sigh loudly any time that he crossed to your side of the room to hang his clothes or put away his shoes. After the initial shock, the two of you floated through your days near each other without interacting for weeks. You would go down to the water on sunny days, lying on the beach, swimming, and enjoying the heat of the Korean summer. On the rainy days, you would curl up on your bed and read the same book you’d already read because you hadn’t thought to bring more than one. Seokjin did his own thing, and you only ever saw him before bedtime.

One evening in July, you decided to come back early from the shore to shower and try to talk to your friends online. You lay in your bed, tapping away happily on your computer, looking up when the door opened. A yelp rang out from near the door. Your head snapped around and standing before you was Seokjin in a white bathrobe, face tinted crimson and long, slender fingers grasping firmly at the fabric to pull it closed around him.

“Oh god! y/n! You aren’t usually here at this time. I thought-” Seokjin stammered. “I didn’t...and you…”

Seokjin didn’t leave, didn’t move. He just stood in front of you. Your hands fly up to cover your eyes, and you scream “I’m sorry!”

After what felt like 10 minutes, you finally heard the door to the room shut, and when your eyes opened again, Seokjin was no longer there. You felt the heat in your face, and you weren’t sure what you were going to do to make things less awkward between the two of you. Seokjin didn’t come back that night; you assumed he begged Seokjoong to sleep in there. You avoided Seokjin for a week. If he was at the dinner table, you told your mom you weren’t hungry. If he came down to the beach, you suddenly needed to go send an email to your friends.

On the last night of July, you were watching the sunset over the water and behind the mountains. You were so rapt in the beauty of the moment, thinking about how it would be perfect to come here with a lover as an adult that you did here the person approaching you from behind.

“I think,” the voice started, and you jumped, “that we should probably figure out a solution to our mutual discomfort.”

Seokjin was now sitting beside you on your blanket. He pulled his knees up toward his chest, wrapping his arms around them. The long, broad-chested young man that usually inhabited Seokjin’s body was replaced by a boy, cradling himself. There was a vulnerability in Seokjin’s face as the pinks and oranges of the sky reflected off the surface of the sea.

“I’m totally cool with pretending the bathrobe thing didn’t happen if you are.” You nudged him with your shoulder. “Besides, I didn’t see anything anyway.”

His hand moved up and cupped the back of his neck. You could see a faint blush in his cheeks and on his ears. You rested your hand on his knee and tried to psychically force him to look at you with your mind, but his eyes stayed trained on the fading pastels in the sky.

“You know…” he paused as if trying to think of the right words to say. He shook his head as if deciding against what he was going to say. “What bathrobe thing?”

He laughed that unmistakable Kim Seokjin laugh and slapped his knee. But he still wouldn’t look at you, so you knew something was still weird between you. You turned back to the sea and watched as the sun dipped completely behind the mountains, painting the sky even more vivid with its reflections on the water.

“Seokjin, if something is still not okay between us-“

“Shh,” he cuts you off. Then the two of you sat in silence until the only light in the sky was the low-hanging full moon and the porch light on the cabin.

You didn’t want to be the first to move, so you sat still, staring at the sky speckled with dots of light. You couldn’t see the stars so well in the city, and here there was still light pollution. But it was nice to look up at the sky and see the hints of stars. Finally, Seokjin moved beside you.

When you turned, he was looking right at you. “You know that you really hurt me, right?”

“With the bathrobe thing?! How?”

“No, y/n, don’t be ridiculous. In middle school. When you told me that you couldn’t be seen with me? That hurt me so much.”

You were glad that it was dark enough that he couldn’t see the blush in your cheeks.

“Seokjin, I was just a kid. I didn’t mean to say that you weren’t worth being seen with.”

“Of course not. I’m very handsome.” You could hear the smirk on his mouth, the wink in his eye. “But we did everything together anyway. And I had the biggest crush on you. I thought that was my chance, and you just kinda stepped all over my heart. I’ve moved on, but we’ve never cleared the air. You never even said sorry.”

You thought back on the conversation and the days and weeks following, and you realized that you never really explained to Seokjin and certainly never said that you were sorry. You were the reason that your friendship changed. You were the one who did the damage.

“Seokjin, I’m so sorry for the things I said then. I know it’s been years since I did that, but I never meant to hurt you. It was my own insecurity. I thought that if I went to the dance with you that no boy would ever want to talk to me because they’d think you and I were together. Now, I realize that the only boy I wanted to talk to me was the one I pushed away.”

Your hand found his, resting gently on his thigh. You squeezed it three times, not breaking eye contact with him.

He shifted his body slightly, so he was turned more toward you. And you followed his lead. “I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me, but it’s been so hard without you,” he whispers.

You didn’t realize how close he was until you felt his breath on your lips. “Seokjin, I’m sorry. I should have seen what was right in front of me.”

Your voice was wavering, and his eyes kept moving to your mouth. You were fighting looking down at his pillowy lips because you knew what would be inevitable if you did. But did you want to fight that? Or did you want to feel the way that his mouth felt against yours? His breath against your skin, close and intimate? Was this what you wanted?

“You really should have seen what was right in front of you. I’m so handsome; you must have been blind,” Seokjin laughed slightly from the back of his throat.

With his second mention in the five minutes of how handsome that he was, you decided that you were taking this far too seriously. Seokjin was joking and having fun, and you should have been having fun too.

Your body leaned in, moving even closer to Seokjin. Close enough that your nose could touch his cheek. You’d decided to let Seokjin make the final move. He closed his eyes and started moving toward you. Just as your eyes fluttered shut and you felt the ghost of his lips against yours, you heard an all-too-familiar sound.

“y/n! Seokjin! It is dark! Get inside now!” your mom shouted from the doorway of the cabin.

Both of your heads whipped toward where she stood, breaking any chance of a special intimate moment that you may have had together. You scrambled to stand up and put distance between yourself and Seokjin, and you yanked the blanket off the ground as soon as he stood up.

“Uh...y/n,” he started, trying to clear the air once again.

“Seokjin, it’s fine. Let’s not worry about it. We’re cool, right?” The words spilled so quickly out of your mouth as you started to walk quickly toward the house.

“Yeah. We’re cool.” His voice trailed behind you, in a slightly disappointed tone.

The rest of the summer had continued as if the moment on the beach never happened. Seokjin was around more and more with you, and the two of you started to feel more natural together again. It was like almost no time had passed. You picked on one another and shared secrets in the dark lying across the room from one another. One week, the two of you even adventured into Gwangju together, exploring Mudeungsan National Park and 1913 Songjeong Market. Gwangju was so beautiful, and you were so happy that you got to experience it with Seokjin.

When August came, it was time for the two of you to go back home and back to real life. You felt uneasy about what your relationship would be like, but you’d hoped that Seokjin would still be a part of your life.

It was a weird transition at first. You hardly spoke Korean at home, and you forgot that people wouldn’t initially address you in a language that you struggled with. Your friends had a hard time adjusting to Seokjin hanging out with you more often, tagging along to movie nights. Seokjin’s friends seemed happy to have you around, but he was very protective of you around his male friends, keeping a hand on your lower back.

Other than the initial awkwardness, slipping back into friendship with Seokjin was easy. You felt like you didn’t have to try as hard as you sometimes did with other friends. He already knew everything about you and your family and your past, and you knew his. The two of you were inseparable.

Seokjin was, of course, elected prom king, and you cheered wildly for him when they announced his name at the dance. He threw flying kisses at the whole crowd, and he turned to you and made eye contact, throwing a finger heart right to you and winking. You’d blushed deeply and turned away. You wondered why the hell you’d felt like that, but the moment passed. You let the thoughts that had been racing through your head go, never allowing yourself to dwell on them.

The two of you hosted your high school graduation party together and spent every moment of the summer together except when you went on a trip with your girlfriends to the beach.

Things started to change again between you and Seokjin when you went to college. He was studying film, and you were studying pre-law. Your course load was strenuous, even from the beginning. You’d chosen to take an additional class each semester in order to earn your paralegal certification by the time that you were a junior, so you could work in a law firm while you finished school. Seokjin was usually busy working on filming or editing or auditioning for something. The two of you had so much less time together than you used to.

You did make time to have dinner together in the dining hall once a week, and you’d catch up quickly on what you’d done over the course of the week. It didn’t last past the first semester though. One of you would cancel because you had a study group or a date or an activity off campus. And soon enough, it wasn’t expected anymore.

In your junior year, you’d started working at a law firm in town as a paralegal, and you felt like you were becoming an actual adult. You really enjoyed putting on your professional outfits to go to the office, when you’d spent the last two years in sweatpants with your hair in half-hearted messy buns. You felt like a professional. An adult.

Something that helped you feel even more like an adult was the young lawyer, Nam Joohyuk, who was just 6 years older than you, was the main lawyer that you worked with. He was so handsome that you couldn’t believe sometimes that he was actually a lawyer and not a model.

He talked to you like you knew what you were doing, not a complete idiot like the other lawyers did (which you felt like most of the time). He’d invited you to a couple of Happy Hours with the firm, which you had to pass because you still had coursework to complete. You couldn’t help the crush that you developed on him because he was handsome and kind and an amazing attorney.

In your senior year, you decided to let yourself have a little bit of fun because you usually said no to parties or anything that might interfere with your studies. You knew you had a lot to do, but a party or two couldn’t hurt.

One party was at a junior boy’s house, who you had met a few times. You went with some of your friends from your program, who seemed thrilled that you were going out for once. The house was packed with people, the air hazy and the smell of weed and cigarettes hanging low, creeping into your nostrils. People with red cups stood around while the loud music boomed in the speakers. As soon as you were deep into the house, you remembered why you didn’t like house parties.

You followed your friends, and you got a drink from the kitchen. A few of your friends disappeared into the crowd, looking for other friends or boyfriends or crushes. You stood awkwardly in the kitchen, unsure what you should be doing except drinking.

“I would never have expected you to be here,” a familiar voice half-shouts across the kitchen.

When you trace the voice back to the source, the shining, slightly red face of Kim Seokjin is staring back at you. You smile broadly, a little tipsy yourself. It was nice to see Seokjin’s face, and you were thrilled that someone you knew was here. As you looked up into his face, you could see that his eyes were glassy with the haze of alcohol, but you didn’t mind because he had such a warm smile that reached his distant eyes.

“Have a drink with me?” you asked, as you started to mix up another drink in your cup.

“Of course,” Seokjin responded, closing the distance between the two of you.

You stood together in the kitchen sipping the concoction that you’d made, which was not good, and catching up about what each of you had been up to. By the time your cup was empty, you had giggled so hard that your cheeks hurt. When you turned around to the counter again, you felt Seokjin’s body move behind you. His fingers wrapped around your waist, and the tips danced lightly on the skin of your tummy just above your pants. He buried his face in your hair and breathed deeply. You jumped a little at the contact, but you didn’t push him away.

You let him continue to touch your skin, and when his mouth found the delicate skin of your neck, you couldn’t help the small moan that escaped from within you. You pushed your ass back against him, and you felt his cock hardening in his jeans. The thought that his hardness was caused by you made your heart pound, and you felt the heat of the thought in your core. Your fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, flitting tenderly through the wisps of hair there.

“y/n, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he growled into your ear before biting down on the lobe. His tongue started to explore your neck and collarbone, and you moaned again, dropping your other hand to the counter to steady yourself. Seokjin’s hips started a small motion against your backside, rubbing your clothed ass to achieve some relief.

You turned your head slightly toward him, and his mouth found yours. Finally, you felt his soft lips on yours, moving slowly but purposefully. His tongue was sloppy and lazily exploring your mouth. This kiss, though drunk and sloppy, was absolutely worth the wait. You weren’t sure that you’d felt this aroused in months, desperate to have his hands on every inch of your body.

And then, as fate would have it, your phone started ringing loudly from your pocket. It blared the tone that you had set specifically for Joohyuk, and you couldn’t imagine that he would be calling you at 12am on a weekend unless it was an emergency.

You turned your attention away from Seokjin and held up a finger to him, trying to flash the most apologetic possible look to him. You scurried off toward the backdoor, answering the phone as soon as you were outside in the quiet and fresh air of the night.

“Hello?”

“y/n! What are you doing right now?” a slightly slurring Joohyuk asks.

“I’m out with my friends,” you half-lie, “what is going on Mr. Nam? Is there something you need from me?”

“Well...there’s one thing I need from you,” he giggles.

Was he drunk? What the fuck was going on? You were sure that he was far too professional to drunk dial his paralegal, and, besides, there’s no way that he was interested in you. You were just a dumb kid, and he was way out of your league.

“Mr. Nam, are you all right?”

Your concern seemed to shock him out of whatever weird mood he was in.

“Oh, y/n. I’m so sorry. It’s late. I’ll see you on Monday.”

He hung up, and that was the end of that conversation. Puzzled, you made your way back to the kitchen to find Seokjin. Much to your dismay, he wasn’t where you’d left him. So you shot him a text.

You: hey, are you all right?

Seokjin: yeah, I just needed to head home. I’m so sorry

You couldn’t tell what exactly he was saying sorry for, but you decided to let it go. You found your friends and told them that you wanted to head home because you were tired. Your head was foggy from the booze and the party and the weird phone call. All you could think about was the way that Seokjin’s lips felt on yours. His fingers on your skin. The warmth of his body pressed against yours. As you sat in the back of your Lyft home, you shivered thinking about the lack of warmth being shared with you now.

You’d tried to reach out to Seokjin several more times since the party but to no avail. Eventually, you’d figured it was probably just a drunken mistake that he regretted. If anyone asked you, you would have said you’d regretted it too. Even though you knew that wasn’t true. How could it possibly be true? So many almosts with Seokjin.

You continued to work at the firm, growing closer and closer to Joohyuk. The Monday after his awkward phone call to you, he had awkwardly apologized for the drunk dial and promised it would never happen again. You usually weren’t forward, so you had no idea what got into you. You smirked and responded, “well, I certainly hope it will.”

You’d blushed, dipped your head, and scurried away to the file room before he could respond. When you think back on it, that was probably the day your relationship with Joohyuk had shifted from strictly professional to more friendly. You were sure that being slightly rejected by Seokjin the weekend before had something to do with it, but you never told anyone about what happened in that kitchen that night.

When you graduated from college, your parents had hosted a graduation party with the Kims for both you and Seokjin. You were a little bit embarrassed that all of your achievements had to be shared with Seokjin, and you hadn’t really spoken to him since that night. The party was more for your parents than anyone else, so you let it happen.

That night, you drank a little bit too much, and by the time the party had wound down, you were drunk, sitting alone in the backyard.

“Hey,” Seokjin said as he plopped down in a chair next to you. He was holding a beer in his hand and wasn’t looking at you.

“Oh, hey. I figured you didn’t want to talk to me, so I kinda just minded my own business all evening.” You could hear the venom in your own tone, but you didn’t care because you had so many unanswered questions that you knew he’d never answer.

“Whoa, when did I ever say that I didn’t want to talk to you? I think I would remember saying that?”

The fake laugh that escaped from within you carried all the animosity that you were feeling. “You didn’t have to say it, Seokjin. You were too busy saying nothing.”

You cast your eyes to the sky above you, searching for any hint of stars in the sky, and, when you had no luck with that, choosing instead to lock your eyes directly on the moon.

“y/n, I-” he started.

“Save it, Seokjin. If you thought that kissing me that night was such a horrible mistake, you could have at least still been a friend to me. But you disappeared. Were you so ashamed of having kissed me that you had to completely cut me off?” The tears started to swell in your eyes, and you felt the booze heightening your sensitivity. You didn’t get up and leave, hoping he’d have some kind of explanation that made up for the past 6 months.

“y/n, it wasn’t like that. I don’t know how to explain it to you. I just...I was an idiot.” The sincerity in his voice didn’t make up for the betrayal and rejection that you were feeling.

“Yeah. You were,” you retorted as you got up and started to walk away from him.

“Please, wait!” he moved after you and grabbed your wrist. You didn't turn toward him, but you stopped walking.

“y/n, you have to know that I never meant to make you feel rejected or hurt,” he spoke softly and gently, with a delicate care like his words might break you. You’d hoped he would have had something better to say.

“Well, Seokjin, it may not have been your intention, but you did it anyway.”

You wiggled your wrist free of his grasp and walked away from him quickly. You made your way into the house and locked yourself in your childhood bedroom. Drunkenly, you sat on the edge of your bed crying into your hands.

Just then, your phone dinged from your back pocket. You half-expected it to be another apology from Seokjin, and your heart sunk when it wasn’t.

Nam Joohyuk: I am so proud of you for working so hard. In three years, you are going to be the greatest lawyer this world has ever seen. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party. I got caught up writing these briefs.

You blinked the tears out of your eyes. When you were hurting, it seemed like Joohyuk just knew that you needed someone. He had a way of always being there to support you and tell you that he was proud.

You: Well, if you’re free now, I’m drunk and vulnerable. Come over?

You figured it was worth a shot, and, if he rejected you too, then you would be in the same boat you were already in.

Joohyuk: be there in 20

That was the night that you and Joohyuk first kissed. It was chaste and gentle in the front seat of his car. You’d tried to move further with him, your hand sliding over the belt around his waist. He had, seemingly begrudgingly, stopped you because he said that it would feel like taking advantage of you.

Instead, he took you to an all night diner and bought you pancakes, which you scarfed down. You hadn’t realized you hadn’t eaten all day, and that was probably why you were so drunk and emotional. He rested his hand on your knee as he sat next to you in the booth, and something about Joohyuk’s presence made you feel safe. You smiled up at him, a dumb drunk smile, and kissed him again.

Things with Joohyuk were always easy. You didn’t feel rejected or unwanted by him. You knew exactly where you stood with him. He was so nice and caring and sweet, but there always seemed to be something between the two of you. You really weren’t sure what it was.

***

Three years later, you were getting ready to graduate after a gruelly time working through law school. You had taken and passed all of your exams. You were in the top five students in your class, and law firms were already scouting you, though you weren’t quite sure what you wanted to do.

You didn’t tell Joohyuk that you’d been applying for some positions abroad as well because you weren’t sure how he would feel about it. The two of you had been together for the last three years since you started law school, and you were content and comfortable with him and your life together. You weren’t sure that you were happy, but he was supportive and loving. You loved him, right?

The week after graduation, you received a phone call from a law firm in Gwangju asking you to go to Korea and interview for a position in their main office, though they had satellite offices all over the country. You knew that you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to interview for such a highly paid position at such a prominent office.

Breaking the news to Joohyuk finally was difficult. He stared at you confused and slightly hurt.

“But, y/n, I thought that you were going to stay at the firm with me?” he asked, softly.

“That’s still a possibility, darling, but I have to see where this opportunity could take me. Please support me with this.”

You’d tucked a loose strand of his hair behind his ear, and he had smiled at you, nodding.

“Of course, I will. And maybe when you come back, we can take some steps in our relationship?”

The hope in his tone scared you, but you didn’t tell him that. You’d simply nodded and turned back to your computer to respond to the email you’d received from the firm. You weren’t sure that you were ready to take anymore steps with Joohyuk, but you knew that when you came back you would have decisions to make.

One week later, you were on an airplane, headed to Gwangju. You hadn’t been back to Korea since that summer in high school. Images played through your head of that summer, playing on the beach with Seokjin. You could see his face laughing in your mind, the sound of his laugh echoing off the walls of your skull. It was almost painful reliving the memories, knowing that your friendship with Seokjin had ended that night in your parents’ backyard.

Your visit to Gwangju wasn’t anything transformative. It was a typical interview, but you did feel like you nailed it. You spoke Korean with them, and, in your head, you patted yourself on the back for remembering to use honorifics, which your mother constantly yelled at you about the few months that you’d been here together. You explored the city a little bit after your interview, eating as much samgyeopsal and kimbap as you could shove into your mouth.

Since you were in Korea anyway, you’d decided to make the 2 hour train trip to Buan to visit the cabin. Your mom had been renting it out as an Airbnb while they weren’t there, though she and your father had gone a couple of times since you’d been there. When you told your mom that you were going to interview in Gwangju, she’d practically shouted that you needed to go to the cabin and make sure everything was all right there. She wasn’t sure that she trusted the housekeeper that she’d hired because the last time she’d been there, there had been some residue in the bathtub. You’d chuckled quietly to yourself at your mom’s impossible standards of cleanliness but promised you would check up on the place and clean anything that needed cleaned.

As you approached the front of the cabin, you had been flooded with emotions. Memories of your family, the Kims, and all the things that you had forgotten from that time. You unlocked the door and stepped into the still house. It seemed like it had been untouched since you’d been there seven years earlier. There were a few updates in the kitchen and different linens on the bed, but everything else was exactly the same. You stood in the bay window looking out at the sea, and tears trailed down your cheeks. You weren’t sure why you were crying, but you knew that you had some big decisions to make.

Even though you were the only one there, it felt weird to try to sleep in your parents’ bed or the Kims’ or Seokjoong’s, so you unpacked in the same room that you’d shared with Seokjin years before. You had planned on staying two weeks in the cabin and then returning home after you would hopefully know where you would be working. You napped curled on top of the covers of the bed and ordered dinner to be delivered.

The next day, you decided to open the bay windows and paint the mountains and the water. You set up the easel that your mother had reluctantly stored for you all these years and the watercolor paints that you’d brought with you. You put your headphones in and painted for hours, different color palettes and patterns, happy to drown out the real world for a day.

As you sat there, completely focused on the scene in front of you, you didn’t hear the door unlock or the man come into the room. He must have come from the other direction up the road because you probably would have seen him walk past your window. Then again, you were so focused on what you were doing, maybe you’d just missed him.

A hand was laid upon your shoulder, and you screamed, flinging paint everywhere. You knocked over the easel, painting splattering on the floor and the window. It took a moment for you to recognize the face that was behind you because you were blinded with fear. Soon your focus and concentration starts again, and you see Seokjin standing with a look of horror on his face.

“Kim Seokjin, what in the actual fuck are you doing?!” you screamed. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and your breathing was heavy. You felt the tears start to swell in your eyes like they usually did when you were scared.

Seokjin crossed the small space between the two of you and wrapped his arms around you. You pushed him gently, but he kept his grip.

“y/n, I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know that you’d be here, and I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Finally, you stopped resisting his embrace, and you fell forward against his broad chest. He held you like that for what felt like a lifetime, while your heartbeat slowed to normal and your breathing became more controlled. When you’d relaxed yourself enough and all the fear had melted away, you leaned back from him.

“So, seriously. What are you doing here? My mom said I’d have the place to myself.” You give him a look of consternation to let him know that you are upset that he ruined your plans.

“Oh goodness, well maybe your parents didn’t communicate. I came to Gwangju for an audition, and your dad asked me to drop by and fix a couple of things while I was nearby. I think your parents didn’t communicate,” he laughed softly.

“That, or they just didn’t care. They didn’t tell us we’d be here together last time either.”

You turned your attention back to the mess you made, and you slap your hand over your forehead. You begin to collect your brushes, palette, and papers from the floor, unsure of how you’ll clean up the paint.

“Hey, y/n, let me clean that up. It’s the least I can do since I almost scared you to death,” Seokjin offered, putting his hands on either side of your shoulders and moving you away from the mess. “Seriously, go take a bath or something and relax. I’ll clean this.”

You nodded and made your way to the bathroom on the first floor. You were glad that Seokjin offered to clean it because you were pretty upset that he’d spilled your paint and ruined your painting in the first place. You took a long bath, soaking in the warm water and letting some of your stress dispel into the water. This was the first moment you’d taken to actually relax since before you finished your exams for law school.

When you’d finished your bath, you walked out into the main area in your bathrobe. You smelled the smell of Galbi, Kimchi Jjigae, and Mandoo. Your mouth waters at the aroma that fills the room. You wander into the kitchen, and Seokjin turns when you clear your throat. His eyes widen as he sees that you are clad only in a bathrobe. He clears his throat and turns his eyes back to the pans in front of him.

You giggle. “Now, we’re even on the bathrobe front, Seokjinnie.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. What bathrobe incident?”

The two of you laughed together as he continued to work over the multiple dishes that he was making. He seemed happy to make traditional Korean meals, and the way that he furrowed his brow as he tasted the soup made you smile. Something about seeing him in his element like this made your heart soften like butter left on the counter too long.

He plated up the dishes for the two of you, and you sat on the high bar stools at the counter eating the delicious creation he made. You had giggled as he slurped his soup and told dad jokes while he ate. You had forgotten how much you’d loved moments like this, and it was so easy to slide right back into things with Seokjin even after years of separation. There was still a pang in your heart each time you looked at him for the things that had gone unsaid for so long.

After eating, the two of you cleaned the kitchen and all of the dishes and then moved to the living room. You sat on the couch together talking and giggling. You didn’t even realize that you were still in your bathrobe as you sat knee-to-knee with Seokjin. Looking directly at him, you noticed a few flecks of blue paint settled on his cheek next to his mouth. Not realizing you were staring, you leaned toward him to get it off, your fingers moving up toward the flawless skin.

“Uh...y/n?” Seokjin asked in a hesitant voice.

At that moment you realized exactly what this looked like. To him, it looked like you were looking at his mouth, leaning toward him, bringing your hand up to his cheek. Oh my god! He probably thought you were going to kiss him.

And that’s what brought you to this moment, sitting next to him, face scarlet, hands in your lap.

“Seokjin! It wasn’t like that. You have…” you can’t even bring your mouth to form the right words.

He’s giggling watching your face blush and taking in all of your features. His hand grasps yours between your legs and squeezes it three times. You look up at his face, even though you feel shame and embarrassment from the miscommunication.

“I should have texted you,” he says, looking down at where your hands meet. “I just didn’t know what to say. I figured you’d only done it because you were drunk, and I felt like I had taken advantage of you in a vulnerable state.”

When his words process in your mind, you realize that he had been thinking the same things that you’d been thinking about the night at the party. You and Seokjin had never communicated about it, so you each thought the other regretted that moment.

“Seokjin, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that. I thought that you were ashamed of what you'd done and that you’d only done it because you were drunk!” you exclaim, shifting toward him.

You see him smile and then his eyes widen as his eyes land on your chest. He chokes a little, and you finally look down at yourself. Much to your embarrassment, your bathrobe has shifted, slightly revealing your breast, areola clearly visible. Your nipple is hard against the thin, white, silky fabric, and you, once again, feel the heat in your face. It feels like everytime that you are with Seokjin, you are blushing about something. You pull the fabric back tight around you, covering all of the skin you’d accidentally exposed.

Seokjin shifts awkwardly, rips his eyes away from you, and stares at his hands in his lap. He starts giggling to himself. You’re already embarrassed enough, you can’t believe that Seokjin is laughing at you.

“Hey, y/n,” he starts. You are terrified of what he’s going to say. “What do you call a pop star with huge nipples?”

He continues giggling as you look at him baffled. Your jaw drops, and no words will escape your mouth.

“Areola grande.”

He laughs his windshield wiper laugh and slaps his knee. You chuckle softly. Leave it to Seokjin to make a dad joke when he’s just seen your breast. You shove him with your shoulder and stand up to head to your room to get dressed. Seokjin watches you leave the room, and he looks slightly disappointed as you disappear around the corner.

You poke your head back into the main room and shout back. “Hey, the other girl I met a girl with 12 nipples.”

He gives you a confused look, but there is a grin starting to spread across his face.

“Sounds weird, dozen tit!”

You giggle so hard that you snort, and you throw your head back in laughter. Seokjin bolts off of the couch toward you. His arms snake around your waist, and he pulls you close to him.

“That’s it,” he growls at you. “I need you, y/n. Is this okay?”

His lips hover just over yours as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear like a fucking movie. You nod vigorously, and he immediately slams his mouth into yours. It’s passionate and wild, and his teeth catch your bottom lip. You moan softly as he releases it and use your tongue to search his lips and his mouth. Your tongues are dancing together in your mouths, as your hands explore each other. His hands slide up and down your hips and your ass outside of your bathrobe.

He pulls back from you for a moment, his eyes searching yours. “Why are you so fucking perfect?” he asks.

Before you can say anything in response, his mouth is one yours again. You can feel all of the longing that you’ve felt to press your mouth against his since that day on the shore seven years ago. You needed him then, but you need him even more now. Everything in your life is changing, Seokjin is always there. He is the constant in your life.

Your fingers slide under the back of his shirt, and you feel his taut skin stretched over his muscular back. The heat building in your core is undeniable, and you pride yourself on not being shallow, but fuck if Seokjin’s body isn’t amazing. You’ve wanted to see it ever since that day you saw him in his bathrobe. You wanted to see the chest underneath, his nipples, the skin of his thighs, his shoulder blades, his belly button, and, of course, his cock. You’d imagined what all of it looked like in your head more times than you would ever be willing to admit. You want to savor these moments because you’d been waiting so long. That day in the kitchen, you’d gotten so close, but now you think it might be your time.

You hesitate for a moment, realizing that Seokjin could disappear again at any moment. He must feel the pause because he pulls back from you.

“Is everything all right, y/n? Are you not enjoying this? Oh my god, did I read this wrong? Were you just looking at me like that because I’m so handsome?”

You laugh, once again. It seems like you’re always laughing when Seokjin is around. “No, I was actually looking at you like that because you have paint on your face. But I want this. Please Seokjin. I want this.”

You stare up at him, trying to project all of your desire into your gaze, and it must work because he groans and pulls you closer against his body. He presses his lips to your neck and your collarbone.

“Why don’t we take this to our shared childhood bedroom?” he asks as he pulls away and winks.

“When you say it like that, it sounds absolutely disgusting,” you retort, shoving him again.

You lead him by the hand into the bedroom, and, once inside, you undo the tie on your robe. It stays on your shoulders for now, and your finger seductively beckons him toward you. You swear you hear a whimper come from him, and he closes the distance between you.

His fingertips are smooth against the skin on your sides as he slides them beneath your robe. You take that moment to push your fingers up under the front of his shirt and yank it over his head. He shakes his hair out and pulls you even closer to him. The skin from your chest meets the skin on his, and the skinship makes you immediately melt.

Your mouth traces along his collarbone, leaving small nips and bites along the way. You sink your teeth into one of his shoulders, and he inhales sharply but doesn’t stop you. You smile to yourself. Your fingers struggle slightly with the button on his pants, and he laughs slightly, bringing his own hands to help you.

He slides his jeans down his hips and stands before you in his black boxer briefs, hard cock clearly straining against the cotton fabric. Your jaw drops slightly as you see the size of the bulge, and you look up at him, with a look that could probably only be described as wonderment. He chuckles and loops his finger under your chin. He pulls your mouth to his for a gentle kiss, and you can’t believe that you’ve waited this long to experience all of these things for the first time.

You slip your robe from your shoulders, standing before him completely exposed. Your nipples are hard with arousal and the slight chill in the air. You feel yourself pinching your shoulder blades together, trying to make your breasts look more young and perky because you know that gravity has already started taking them. Joohyuk once commented that both your nipples pointed downward in an offhand joke, and you hadn’t been able to look at them in the mirror since.

“Holy shit,” Seokjin mutters. He leans into your ear, kissing the lobe softly. “Relax.”

Even just the simple action of him being impressed and turned on by your body makes you feel so much more comfortable with him. You can’t wait any longer, and you slide your hand into his underwear. As your fingers slide around his girth, you feel how soaked you are, the slickness sliding down your inner thigh. Seokjin groans as you slowly stroke him under his underwear.

His hands trace a path up from your things to your breasts. He takes each of your nipples between his fingers and rolls them gently. The stimulation causes you to arch your back and moan. You aren’t sure how you are growing even wetter with his ministrations.

“Seokjin, please. I’ve waited so long. I need you.”

He doesn’t hesitate any longer. He slides his boxer briefs all the way down his hips and steps out of them. He picks you up and lays you down gently on his bed. He climbs on top of you, kissing gently on your collarbone, chest, and finally on your mouth.

“You have no idea how badly I want this,” he whispers against your lips, and your heart jumps in your chest. “I don’t think I’ll last long.”

You chuckle to yourself. “Jinnie, I don’t think I’ll last long either. But we have a lot of time.”

You hadn’t called him Jinnie since you were kids, and the pet name seems to soften his expression slightly. He dips his head to kiss you again. He grips his cock around the base and aligns himself with your entrance. You draw your knees up on either side of him, wrapping your ankles around his back. When he pushes into you, you gasp. The way that his cock stretches you plus the anticipation of this moment makes your eyes flutter shut. He slides slowly into you, burying his cock inside of you.

After you’ve adjusted to him, Seokjin starts to move his hips quicker, establishing a rhythm that drags against the spot inside of you that makes your eyes roll back slightly. With Seokjin buried inside of you, nothing else matters. All you can remember is the sensation between your legs and the way that Seokjin’s body feels on top of you.

Seokjin’s breathing is ragged, and you feel yourself coming upon an orgasm already. You couldn’t believe that your emotions could affect your sexual sensations so much, but you didn’t want to spend another moment without Seokjin inside of you.

“y/n, you’re so fucking tight. Fuck. You’re fucking perfect,” Seokjin huffs out against your neck.

“Jinnie,” you trail off as you feel yourself pulse around his cock. Your mind goes blank and all you see is whiteness in your mind. It’s like your mind has been completely purified of all the darkness that existed inside of you, and you tumble over the edge of your orgasm. You feel all the tension and stress of the last few months melting into the mattress as Seokjin thrusts inside of you.

His cock twitches, and he’s moaning your name over and over while he paints your walls with his hot cum. You topple into another orgasm as you feel him filling you up. Nothing has ever felt more worth the wait than having Seokjin’s cum inside of you. Soon the two of you come down, and your sweaty bodies stop moving together.

He lies on top of you for a little while, crushing you slightly, but you don’t mind too much. You’re too happy to care about being squished. If you weren’t his completely before, you certainly were now. You can’t imagine spending another day without Seokjin in your arms and in your bed. But that, of course, means that you have to end things with Joohyuk. For now, you just wanted to cherish this moment, trying not to let yourself think about the possibility that Seokjin didn’t feel the same way.

The next several days, you and Seokjin spent cleaning and doing projects around the house. You also made love in every single room of the house. You went to the beach and watched the sunset like you did as teenagers. Everything felt new and wonderful. In the middle of the second week, you got a call from the law firm in Gwangju officially offering you the position. They gave you two weeks to think about your decision and get back to them.

You wanted to take it, but you had to talk to Joohyuk first. It was unfair of you to fuck someone else while you were with him and accept a job in another country without telling him. You put thoughts of your boyfriend out of your head and focused your attention on the man who you’d spent the last two weeks with nonstop. You were so fond of Seokjin, but you weren’t quite sure where he stood. You didn’t want to push him and end up pushing him away. You enjoyed the time that you had with him, and when it was time for you to leave you kissed him for an hour before you finally had to call a taxi or you’d miss your flight.

Back home, everything felt surreal. It didn’t feel like your own life anymore. You had moved out of your university apartment after law school, so all of your stuff was at your parents’ house. You expected that you’d probably move in with Joohyuk when you graduated, but now, even if you weren’t with Seokjin, you were sure that you didn’t want to be with Joohyuk. You weren’t ready to break his heart, but it had to happen.

You called him and asked him to meet you at your parents house. When he arrived you met him in the front yard, and he ran to you, picking you up and spinning you around in his arms. You laughed awkwardly, not knowing how to make this situation less uncomfortable. When he put your down, you decided to just rip off the bandaid.

“Joo-” you started.

“Before you say anything, I want to get a good look at you and ask you something,” he interrupts.

You stand awkwardly before him while he admires you, and suddenly, you feel dirty for what you’ve done. You didn’t even really consider that what you’d done with Seokjin had been cheating. You just thought that it had been fulfilling your destiny, doing what felt right, what was inevitable. But with Joohyuk looking at you with love in his eyes now, you realized what you had done had not just been realizing that you didn’t want to be with him. You had cheated. A lot.

After he stares at you for a minute, he drops down to one knee in front of you.

Oh fuck.

“y/n, you have made me so happy these last three years, and I’m hoping that you’ll-” he gets cut off by the sound of someone out on the street.

“Seriously, y/n?! Seriously?”

It’s Seokjin. He has pulled his car over to the side of the road, and he is looking at you exasperatedly.

“No! Seokjin, wait! It isn’t what it looks like!” you shout, while Joohyuk looks up at you bewildered.

“Oh, so you aren’t currently being proposed to by another man after you spent two weeks having sex with me in Korea?”

Joohyuk’s smile drops off his face, and he looks between you and Seokjin over and over. He’s clearly confused and hurt and disappointed.

“It’s not like that, Jin. I was about to tell him.”

“What?” Joohyuk blurts out.

“Whatever,” Seokjin shouts dejectedly and drives off.

Tears start to spill from Joohyuk’s eyes. “I’m going to get off my knee now,” he mutters.

“Joo, you have to know that I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry. I realized that I wasn’t happy, and I know now that I want to take the job in Gwangju. This isn’t what I wanted for my life. I just want to be happy. Can’t you see that?”

You feel the hot tears rolling down your cheeks. This is not how you pictured this conversation going.

Joohyuk looks at you deep in the eyes. “All I can see is what this night could have been.”

He stalks off toward his car and drives away from your parents house and from your life. You know that you fucked up bad, and now the man that was the only one who could make you happy is gone too. You don’t know how you’re going to convince Seokjin that you were trying to break up with Joohyuk, but you decide to take the night to think about it.

The next day, you’ve formulated your plan, and you are ready to execute it. Your mom asked Seokjin’s mom for the spare key to his apartment, and, because the two are so close, she gave it up right away.

You knew that Seokjin would be out all day, running errands that his mom asked him to do. You really had an amazing ally in his mother. You snuck into his apartment, with all of your supplies in two paper grocery bags, awkwardly carrying one on either side of your hips. You worked for hours getting everything ready.

When Seokjin’s key slides into the lock, you are standing in the living, surrounded by pink flowers and fairy lights. It takes him a moment to process what is in front of him, but when he sees you, he looks slightly disappointed. It’s okay, you kind of expected that.

“Don’t you have a fiance to hang out with?” he asks with acid on his tongue.

“No. I don’t,” you state blandly. “And I hope that you’ll give me two minutes to explain.”

“One minute,” he responds, like you knew he would.

You take the game hourglass timer that you have in your hand, turn it upside down, and place it on the table.

“When I hooked up with you in Buan, yes I had a boyfriend, and I did cheat on him with you. I was unhappy with him, and honestly, I didn’t realize that it was because I’d just been waiting for you all these years. When you saw us, he had come over to propose, but I had invited him over to end things with him. He’s nice and caring, but he isn’t you. You’re all I want, Seokjin. I made a mistake, and I hope that you can forgive me and give me a chance. I ended a three year relationship because I was so hopeful that things would work out with you that I couldn’t stand to put that in jeopardy by being in a relationship. But I messed it up anyway”

The last of the sand falls through the hourglass as you glance down at it, and you look up at him. His expression is hard to read because it is so stony. The two of you just look into each other’s eyes for another moment.

“You swear it’s over with him?” he asks.

“Of course. You’re all I want, Jinnie.”

“y/n, you have no idea how badly I want to be with you, b-but I have to tell you something first.”

You feel the tears starting to build in your tear ducts, but you force them down. “Tell me, please.”

“I’m moving to Gwangju at least for a while because I was offered a role in a K-Drama, and I’ve accepted it. If we were to be together, it would be long distance, and you know how that goes.” His hand goes up to the back of his neck, and he diverts his eyes from yours.

“Okay, well, two things about that.” You can hear that your tone sounds sarcastic, and you laugh to yourself in your head. “First of all, you and I could make a long distance relationship work, I believe that with my whole heart.”

“y/n, it’s so hard. With time zones, everything is just extra challenging. I’m not sure that’s what either of us want.”

“Well, let me finish then,” you retort. “Second of all, I accepted a job offer at a law firm in Gwangju, so I’ll be moving to Korea in two weeks.”

Seokjin’s jaw drops. “Shut the fuck up.”

“I will not.

A smile spreads across his features. He strides across the room to you, picks you up in his big arms, and presses his mouth against yours. You kiss for several minutes, Seokjin’s arms wrapped around you.

The two of you spend the rest of the evening making love on the couch and talking about your plans for living in Korea and adjusting to Korean culture. You feel so overwhelmingly excited that you have Seokjin finally and that he will be the person who is with you as you enter this new chapter of your life. You decide that you have some time to work out the details, and right now, you just want to be with each other.

That night when you are lying in bed, your head rests on Seokjin’s chest. He pushes your hair out of your face, like he does, and he looks down at you.

“Hey, y/n?” he whispers.

“Yes, my wonderful Seokjin?”

“How long have the moon and earth been together like this?”

You aren’t sure what he’s saying. You open your mouth to respond, but you see on his face that he’s doing something.

“You’re my planet. I’m just a moon to you. I’m just a little star for you that lights up your heart, but you are my earth. All I see is you.”

You start crying again. How does he say the sweetest things like that like it’s nothing to him?

“I love you, Seokjin,” you whisper up at him.

He wipes one of the tears from your cheek and presses it to his lips. “I love you too, y/n.”

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