#seriously gonna be the end of me i stg

[frnkiebby]

jesus christ~🎃

[krashoutluv]

Can you write something with:

After a long night of casual light hearted talking, Reader eventually falls asleep. AK!Jason falls asleep next to Reader for the first time and is a little surprised when he wakes up? (Poor boy probably hasn’t had proper sleep for a while.)

my draft deleted itself the first time (lord give me one more chance.)

AND THEN IT NEVER FUCKING POSTED?? I STG IM SO SORRY ANON I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS FOREVER AGO. MY SHITTY ASS INTERNETTT 😭😭😭😭

Ak!Jason Todd falls asleep with reader for the first time!

Jasons witty remarks and your giggles filled the room, it was late night, he came back to your place early and got wrapped up in the madness of watching “Bullet Train.” Jason didn’t necessarily fill his time before he met you with catching up on movies, so this was an interesting change from what he was use to seeing as a teenager. At first he stood behind the couch, then becoming very fixated on the movie he decided to sit down next to you and watch slightly more comfortably.

To say the least, he enjoyed it. You knew he did when he started rewinding it, picking up on the small itty bitty details that foreshadowed the pursing events. When he picked up on a few of them while chatting with you, you two mutually agreed to just rewatch the movie. Halfway through he noticed a heaviness, his eyebags. Unfocusing on the movie he noticed another heaviness, you, asleep on his shoulder. Groggily deciding to move you once the movie ended, incase you woke up on your own from the cinematic gunshots and crashes. He refocused back on the movie, it interested him how something so simple could turn into an absolute comedic madness.

Yeah he fell asleep like ten minutes later.

…

“Happiness hangovers.” Jason hadn’t gotten use to such sudden bursts of positive emotion whenever he talked to you. It left him tired, more tired then one of those nights where he was running around tracking three different guys in the entirety of Gotham city. It left him depressed, he only realized how alone he was when he left you. But when his eyes fluttered awake, Jason was greeted with your body still on his shoulder, he felt okay. He hadn’t felt so simply good in such a long time. The sun was out, cars just starting to pile together in heaps of traffic, pigeons murmuring to each other. It was weird, he wasn’t tired. 8 AM could be read on your TV, could two hours of extra sleep really feel so good? Or was it you? He pinched his nose, his thoughts meshed into one as he tried to think coherently. He slipped you off his shoulder onto the couch, placing your head so gently on a pillow. Jason walked into your bedroom grabbing one of the sheets and returned back to you, tucking you in.

‘God, what am I gonna do now? Give them a kiss on the cheek?’ He paused. Seriously considered it. And then left.

…

REOPENING MY INBOX BC I FEEL HORRID. FOR NOT GETTING THIS OUT. IM SO SORRY.

[littlelovelyspiderling]

AHHHHHHHH omg 🥰😍❤️ love love loved your latest chapter update. I could read them flirting and being blushy dorks all day long i stg. Ugh and the ending had my heart doing a somersault, can’t do that to us girlllll. These boys are so deep and sad and i just want to hug themm and tell them its gonna be okay😭😭😭

Also cant waait for the big tckle scene… johnny gonna wreck shit up i can tell, with his big mits.

Thank you for blessing our feeds 📖🥰🔥🐦‍🔥🩷

🥰 thanks time a zillion, i could write them being blushy dorks all day long (obviously)

johnny takes flustering peter very seriously ☝🏻so yall know it’ll be good heehee

to everyone whose written me a kind comment / message like this here’s a massive virtual hug 🤗

[nerdyenby]

Green time :D I’m watching Ranboo

“I can take myself seriously, I can do it” mmm I don’t think you can

TINKERBOO MY BELOVED <3333

THATS TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

I got timed out for saying this will haunt my nightmares????

Welp, he was a fairy for all of five minutes before getting possessed

“If I have the opportunity to get rid of my eyes, I’m going to” yeah ok

This team is going to be so freaking chaotic

Them all yelling swears as soon as they establish no one’s pg 😂

Them just straight up missing the ready up 😂😂😂

Rocket Spleef

Relentlessly unhinged already, I’m losing it

“She green on my gecko til I’m insured” MICHELA 😭😭😭

*grandpa voice* “What the hell is a they/them??”

PHIL MVP!!!!!!

WHAT IS HAPPENINGGGG

I’m not even processing the event what game are we even playing??????

Hole in the Wall

Send help

“It’s called hole in the wall, not hole in the ground” so true Krinios

I go get a sandwich and come back to them adding an age requirement???

Skybattle

Omg people are dying so fast what

They popped off!!!

Phil is so good at surviving in Minecraft you guys

This is a great pov to watch live because I have no idea what’s actually happening, it’s like I get to experience it for the first time twice lol

“They got the slight cognitive abilities” I zone out for ten seconds lol

Someone help Sniff 😭😭😭

Meltdown

“Time to have a meltdown on stream” so true Philza Minecraft

I’m losing my mind

Michela hit the “girl dinner” note perfectly holy crap

Npc team fr, Krin didn’t get the memo

“To be fair… it was funny” - MCC33 Green Geckos motto

Pink popping off!!

“Icy take: let’s not die”

Michela needs to be a voice actor fr

Manifesting Aimsey back to back wins <333

Battle Box

“I’m about to run this team like it’s the navy” as they should!! Krinios igl arc

Michela 😭😭😭

Sapnap crit is so based

Omg teamwork <333

“New strat: the same thing we’ve already been doing” BASED

THAT LAST ROUND 😂😂😂

“I have no boys in my yard ;-;” lmao

Ran and Phil are holding hands this MCC

“I’m really good at acting like I’m dead, it’s my speciality” RANBOO GENERATION LOSS LIVE I STG

“Oh shi-oot” ran whatchu doin, you can swear now, it’s okay

Ace Race

Noooooo Michela 😭😭😭

Jojo calling the tie sexist is so

“The m in MCC stands for misogyny” so true aimseytv!!!!!

Literally no one wants pkt, so true

Grid Runners

Do we think they’ll try or nah?

You know what? No, I’m gonna stop holding back, Sapnap can stfu, I’m so serious

THEYRE CRAZY WITH IT!!!!!!

NEW ROOM NEW ROOM NEW ROOM :D

That was so clutch!!!

“She run on my grid til I ers” thank you Krinios

“I’m in Texas” “Oh. Sorry” 😂😂😂😂

NOOOOO

YESSSSSSSSSS

Sands of Time

WHY IS RAN GIVING PHIL A KISS AAAAAAAAAAAA

*Slow pan* “You’re homophobic”

I hate that so much, thanks noxcrew <333 /lh

This is so painful

The belated “hi HBomb” my beloved

OH MY GOSH

This red path is wild

NOOOOOO Phil :((

“At the end of the day, we are the silly team” so true Michela!!!

Movies don’t exist, we love writers and actors

Krin’s reaction to “cream crew” killed me

Yellow supremacy!!!!!

Dodgebolt

Unanimous yellow support my beloved <33

They’re gonna ambush Scott and harass him into getting this team every event from here on out, so true

MY streamers stan Oli Orionsound, as they should!!

“No one’s rooting for red” hmm that’s so weird and quirky, I wonder why /s

JORDAN SUPREMACY!!!!!!!

Welp that’s what I get for sharing a negative opinion on the internet, not apologizing tho

“Not this time, anime protagonist, now the villains win” PHILZAAAAAAAAAAAA /pos

[spookyserenades]

Dana!!! I hope you're feeling better and I can't thank you enough for giving us trouville for FREE!! We're truly spoiled with this story 😔 some thoughts:

- the Jimin moment was so sweet, I love our yeehaw boy. I'll kiss his boo boos away any day and i'd also sick him with the hello kitty bandaid too cuz we live an aesthetic lifestyle

- love the mystery gang team, so much development in their segment, its crazy what a late night van drive will do to people lol

- i like also got a headache when MC was thinking about how much a Disney trip for 8 people would cost. In THIS economy? Sorry Hoseok you're just gonna have to freeze. I know she must have a lot saved up from when she was a vet but paying for a house that big and for so many people? She's a money mastermind

- Alice is such a fun character, I'm glad she suggested making the boys jealous so they'd maybe be kicked into high gear, she's doing the lord work cuz we were all thinking it. What more shenanigans will this open us up to 🤔👀

- I stg I'm ot7 but jeezus trouville yoongi does in fact own my entire being, I want him in a way concerning to feminism and so does MC lol. That spicy part was everything but I was so scared someone would walk in on them but thankfully that didn't happen, I would have freaked!!!!

- Jin and MC cooking!!!! Thats my husband fr and speaking of which- WE GOT HIM BOYS, THATS ANOTHER ONE IN THE BAG!!!!!!!! WE'RE 2 FOR 7 ON BAGGING THE TROUVILLE BOYS!!! 😤😤😤 IT FEELs SO GOOD 😫😫😫 THE WAY I SCREECHED. So so so so so good. Perfect place to leave us for next chapter I'm extremely excited! ❤

- 🍒

AHH HI LOVE! I am finally feeling better whewww boy I forgot what it's like to be sickly LMAO. Excited to hear your thoughts about the newest update hehe, thank you for reading and sending in your precious feedback 🥺

I love the little moments MC has with Jimin!!! I hope he's giving hopeless romantic in Trouvaille, I think it's fitting for his rancher background, and his Libraness fhdksafd. I also love the visual of manly cowboy Jimin with the Hello Kitty bandaid, he probably looked down at it a bunch afterwards and blushed thinking about MC AHHHH!! The mystery gang, omg. My literal DREAM is to formulate a paranormal investigation team, ESPECIALLY with Namkook. Just having Joon's insightfulness and Jeongguk's fearlessness I think it would be absolutely perfect. I can't wait to write more about their adventures in all of the upcoming chapters!

HA SCREAMINGGGG No like she'd need a small loan of a million dollars for a Disney trip with all of them. It would be such a cute little drabble or plot arc to write though, all of them going on rides and whatnot. Or spicy hotel smut lol Lucky MC inherited that house from her grandparents, and her dad ended up being wealthy from his contributions to hybrid cardiology surgery, so she was pretty much born into deep pockets LOL... that's the beauty of fiction, we get to pretend we were born into bottomless wealth 💀

AH I'm so glad you like Alice 🥺 It was important to me that MC had other friends besides the hybrids! You need some friends to confide in, not just romantic interests, and MC's friends are supportive but also give her reality checks when she needs them. Alice is soooo real for telling her use jealousy to her advantage, considering MC is a little avoidant of confrontation LOL.

fdkasf BESTIE I'm hyung line (Namjoon ult) biased, and Trouvaille Yoongi is seriously trying to snatch me away from my other three. I, too, need him biblically, and would let him have his way with me 💀 AH the smut.... he's such a giver, definitely a soft dom 🥰 I'd dieeee too if one of the others walked in. Thankfully, they were the only two at home during that scene!

JINNIE COOKING CLASS. I love love lovedddd writing that scene, Seokjin is such husband material and especially in Trouvaille, he deserves to have fun with a new hobby 🥺 AND FINALLY ANOTHER CONFESSION!!!! Seokjin hasn't been subtle with his feelings, especially in the past few chapters, so I'm glad he was finally brave enough to fess up. MC was probably relieved that she didn't have to do it first 😭💀 AH I'm excited to see how she reacts in the next chapter hehee!

Thank you for reading the latest update and sending me all of your thoughts bestie 💜💜💜

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Ok! Ted Lasso Finale live comments:

BEARD IN THAT THONG?? HELLO??

Mm. Ok does the immediate reveal of ted leaving mean he's not going to by the end? Or is that what they want us to think and he really is leaving? Hmm...

If this doesn't end with Beard leaving Jane I am going to lose it

Ok so Nate's gonna replace Ted, right?

Rebecca babe don't sell ur found family!!

IM SORRY BUT HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO ASSUME ROY’S GOING TO ASK JAMIE ABOUT A THROUPLE WHEN THEY GET A BEER?? like that combined with Jamie's contemplative look after Nate comments on he and Roy's friendship? The fuck??

Trent having been waiting desperately for Ted to laugh is SENDING ME

Ok I'm not even like. a hard ted/trent shipper but that scene was...uh. yeah.

ROY AND JAMIE'S ARMS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Ok they had better resolve this QUICK I do NOT want my boys fighting.

Oh my god these boys are so dumb. I love them

Oh Nate 🥺

MICHAEL

for the love of god Michelle BREAK UP WITH THIS FUCKER

ROY THE DIAMOND DOG

I love Barbara so much

ISAAAAAAC

The fact that Ted finally got the offside rule sdhfjgkhk CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

YES good girl rebecca!!!

I stg if they have beard stay with his abusive girlfriend...

are they. are they actually fucking serious

Ok the fact that Rebecca's Dutch guy ended up being there is kind of silly but hey they're cute

Mm. Idk if Roy being manager was the best idea? It feels like it should've been Nate?

Oh. Oh boy. Yikes. uh. not a big fan of that sweet little Jamie and his abuser moment

Oooooh Richmond women's team!

Yesss Sharon's back and Roy's in therapyyyyyy

Awww look at Beard getting married to the person who's emotionally abused, manipulated, and controlled him for the last three years :))) (seriously what the FUCK)

Jesus the last few minutes have been a real mixed bag haven't they

So overall great episode with a couple of MAJOR issues and also i love that Henry is number 9 :D

[bettimbellis]

A Collage (of Yelling)

I saw someone do something like this to advertise their fic- they linked the fic, and then put in a little collage of various comment snippets. I can’t find the post to show off- someone please do let me know if you’ve seen that, I want to credit them. 

Either way, my Hollow Knight post-Black-Egg-Temple fic (linked here) has 209 comment threads on it. I’ve gone through and found some bits. These bits were mostly chosen for entertainment/intrigue value out of context- a lot of my favorite comments didn’t get in. 

Got some good reviews there, I think. Anyone wanna see the collection I have of Discord screenshots from folks yelling at me about this fic?  (Seriously though, thank all of y’all who comment, yell in the tags, whatever- I love it. Really helps keep the writing muse going, too.)

Image descriptions below the cut. 

[Image ID: a collection of bits of text placed on a light green background, in several groups. Text is as follows. 

Excuse me who gave you the right to hit me with this line at seven in the morning”, with an arrow pointing to the left. also it feels like there are many things to be concerned about lmao  God, Hollow is such a poor baby. A lanky wet cat left in the rain. Hollow, that feeling is love, dear, no need to feel so confused about it. Hornet, my sad dumb little spider baby, go to bed. in summary holy shit this is fucked sounds like stressTM can these characters stop being so relatable good Lird *smacks my face* Hornet. Hornet. the fuck HOLY FUCKING SHIT [all caps] It was so soft!!!! And then it became *so goddamn angsty-* *squints harder*  Wet rag is my new favorite character. *thunks my head on a wall* Gosh darn it Oro course you had to have integrity But also OW MY HEART?! SHATTERED?1 POOR BABY HOLLOW IM GONNA CRY Gosh dang. The last chapter was a little lighter, but apparently you were just holding back for this one.  (Chp. 3) I stg this whole chapter made my emotions whip back and forth between “awww :)” and “awwh :(” and “oh. Oh no baby do not think like that”.  Augh. just, augh. / ...except that bit at the end. ...except that last sentence, ‘cause, yeah. / *hides face in hands* this has been exhausting for everyone, apparently. Hollow knight or: when you are so touch starved that your standards for touch that you want are somewhere in the abyss that has spawned you.  Whatever the FUCK happened in the last section is Oh Lord Oh God What The Heeeeeellll Ohhhh My Goood No Waaayyyy... Will be waiting for the next chapter STARING at ao3...

i was so relieved to read this that i accidentally put my phone in airplane mode trying to respond “it is startled out of its pleasant memory-” pLEASANT???? PLEASANT!?! Hollow no. HOLLOW NO- / why does this for some reason almost feel like fluff.  My urge to keysmash at you is strong Just. God. Everything about this is so fucked in so many ways.

Something about this line just makes me want to. Maybe stab the king in the chest. Repeatedly. And then throw them off a bridge. Idk Actually many things about this chapter make me want to stab the king in the chest repeatedly and then throw them off a bridge. Because *holy shit* Hollow, honey, you have so much trauma. OMG ghost, what have you done [stressed emoji] Okay then. Well. Um. That’s a lot to happen.  God it’s such a mess Ah yes, the eldritch nonsense trying to approximate a living creature, my beloved PK you ass. PK you absolute ASS get over here I wanna hit you with something heavy-  oh / im immediately punched in the face okay thank you for that Right off the bat I am mildly excited about this chapter solely because you played with text formatting and that makes my serotonin levels rise. I don’t know why but thank you for that.  CONFUSION SOUP I’M FHDHDJFKFKGH I wanna join the cuddle pile :<<< let me in [holding Hollow gently in both hands] / I will get you all the fresh-dirt-scented soap Fucking superb you funky little vessels. Oh boy! Spiraling!

Oh this chapter hurts ‘specially bad. Because it wasn’t enough to be possessed and neglected and quite literally tortured and driven insane, now we gotta have more medical issues and amnesia-  I fuckign cried at this one, oh my god. Pain is always a tearjerker, but it’s nothing compared to someone who’s been in pain so long finally getting that first big moment of *realizing they’re wanted* and *heard* and *healing*  And I gotta say, (this is gonna sound bad) I really do love Hollow’s victim blaming. Or how it’s written. I love how you write characters in pain <333 “Oh, just a quick chapter to read before bed,” I thought to myself. “I will enjoy it and feel a normal and manageable level of emotions about it.” / ...Thanks for making me all teary in the wee hours, now I’ll never get to sleep! (...I mean this as praise.) Oh. Oh Hollow. So wrapped up in the need to be useful. So incapable still of seeing that their own gut-wrenching familial love might be returned in kind, whether they have some designated purpose for their existence or not.  Yeah. Relieved. / Oh, Hollow... You have already left kudos here :) [three times] / Have I ever been told the definition of insanity?  honestly the body horror was the /least/ disturbing thing in this chapter. not to say! that it was not disturbing - even then, less the horror and more the. context. i want to punch TPK. into a lake. that is on fire.

First comment of my first reread, and MAN. This opening hits just as hard the second time.  Keep in mind Hollow Knight was made by Australian people Hollow 100% deserves a nice date at the palace if they so wish. anyway, I feel very emo about Hollow, all the time.  HOLLOW IS LETTING THEMSELVES HAVE WILL, LET’S GOOOOOO Ghost is doing Fine:tm:, Hornet is doing Fine:tm:, Hollow is *actually* doing pretty well Good news! Hollow is an emotional wreck!  Hornet is doing sooo normal right now (lying).

TLDR; amazing story, glorious update, poor Grimm, I Am Desperate For Shield Lore, someone please tell Ghost it isn’t their fault, the entire gaggle of siblings needs a group hug, I Am Going To Put The Pale King’s Corpse Through A Shredder, and Hornet needs another good cry. 

anyways fuck you for writing this keep it up

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough: patches, Astarion thoughts, Grymforge

(Spoilers)

Patch 4 is a thing: People are complaining that the patch made Cazador stronger and removed the way to end the fight quicker by yeeting him over the edge of a platform… I dunno. I think you SHOULDN’T be able to cheese the fight like that. I think he SHOULD be hard to beat. He’s such a crusty unimpressive little dickwad, making the fight super hard is going to be the only way I can take that dried up asshole seriously. I’ve also seen some people complain the update made them redownload the whole game again? Or doubled the size of the game in their storage? Wut? Didn’t happen over here, for me, the update was about 10 gigs and only took a few minutes to complete??

Also some discussion about how the patch has added the ability for a dark urge to blame a murder on Astarion. Am I going nuts? I STG I saw that option already. Was that an early access thing or something? When I read the patch notes I was surprised it was a NEW addition. There’s some cranky discussion that Larian just wants to be mean to Astarion - look guys, I think Astarion is probably the favourite character, judging from the amount of his content and the marketing. What’s that old saying about how it’s a terrible thing to be the favourite of the narrative? Because then all the bad stuff happens to you? Anyways if a dark urge is going to blame a murder on anyone, Astarion the VAMPIRE is the obvious choice. So myeh. I think it’s nothing to get offended by, folks. The dialogue that triggers if you do this BTW is hilarious, the team is just like “ah yes, murderous Astarion, that makes sense” and they seem generally ok with it. “Oh Astarion! You and your murder!” Astarion is not happy you accused him, but he seems more offended not simply just by being accused of murder, but by being accused of murdering someone and wasting all the blood.

So I’m working through the grymforge now. In the beginning I was getting horribly lost constantly, because the map changes around as you go to different areas. I think I’m good now but it was funny at first. Even in a video game with a map right there, my sense of direction is terrible.

I liked the little touch of Astarion disapproving if you bow your head in respect by the large group of dead gnome slaves. He is totally fine if you vow to get revenge on their murderers, but useless thoughts and prayers don’t do shit to help anyone. I think I’ve mentioned that he seemed like he was getting better about being huffy when I decide to help people, but then I grabbed a chunk of disapproval for arguing with Nere and Brithvar in support of the slaves. Guess my man still has some issues to sort through. I know that we have his dislike of gnomes in general, lol, but he doesn’t have objections to me helping the gnomes in other situations - IE inviting Barcus to stay at our camp - he specifically objects to me insisting the slaves be let go. In my head I imagine that he gets angry seeing someone jump in like a knight in shining armor saving these people being hurt and killed under their cruel masters, not even asking for any payment in return, when there was no one, not a single soul at all, who helped him in the almost 200 years he spent enslaved by Cazador. I feel like the more someone is in a situation that reminds him of himself, the more uncomfortable and angry he gets about it.

Poor dumbass. My big buff drow is gonna scruff him like a feral cat and feed him churus until he stops hissing.

I’m reading a lot of thoughts about how sad Astarion’s ending is if he stays a spawn and loses his ability to be in the sun, I’m reading drabbles about him crying about being burned in the sun, never able to be in the sun again etc, and it’s like…

I’m not saying it’s not sad, cause it is. His origin scene of waking up in the sunlight is good, his romance morning-after where he’s literally basking in the sunrise (and perhaps it can be assumed, is something he does most mornings) is so nice. For some reason though, I’m just not as moved by it all as much as other people seem to be. Maybe it’s because I have a drow tav who really isn’t… like, the idea of never being able to be in the sun, just in and of itself, it doesn’t feel like that much of a tragedy to him and to me, as a single issue. I know it’s not a single issue, I know the sun thing is symbolic of all the other vampire spawn issues coming back. But in fics and discussion people really do fixate on the sunlight, even suggest that it’s a good enough reason to do the ascendant ending, just to fix it, and yeah. Man. Look, my guy over here knows plenty of people who lived their whole lives without sunlight at all, sunlight is certainly lovely, and it’s certainly not a great thing if the choice is totally removed from you, but this enormous TRAGEDY? I just don’t feel it.

Plus I dunno guys. Maybe I’m weird, but I don’t think the answer to everyone’s story arcs is necessarily erasing everything that’s been done to them and doing a factory reset. It’s too bad Astarion isn’t able to keep the fun perks of the tadpole, but, like, that’s ok. That’s something that can be moved on from. If doing the right thing was always easy and without any tradeoffs or consequences ever, everyone would always do the right thing. Something something you can never really go back because you have been changed by the journey. I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain. I’m not that sad about it and honestly I find it more satisfying in his epilogue that he now has some spawn limitations to contend with again, more satisfying than if everything had just been magically fixed forever like a handy little factory reset. I really like the post-game idea of my drow tav and him traveling through the underdark together to try and organize the freed spawn.

Anyways back to the Grymforge: I met Nere and kicked his stupid slimy ass. I was really mad there seems to be no way to save that poor gnome he flings into the lava. I had no idea you could invite Barcus to stay at your camp? I’ve thoroughly spoiled a lot of things with this game for myself, so I’m always really delighted when I run into something I legit didn’t know. Man dude, I hope this guy you’ve been chasing is worth it. Somehow I rather suspect he isn’t. But you what makes me a bit bemused……. So drow are supposed to have a matriarchal culture, a TERRIBLE matriarchal culture, where males are enslaved or even just freaking killed. And yet, even so, of all the drow characters I’ve run into so far, two have been women and six have been men. (and that’s not even counting the petrified drow that stayed petrified in that field, who I’m assuming are also all guys!) Even in a matriarchal culture, there’s still more important male characters than female ones?... kinda bemused by that. Oh well. Small niggle.

I think there’s an elevator here that leads straight to act 2??? Am I already that close to being done act 1??? When I’m done in the underdark I’m doubling back to do the stuff in the mountain pass.

A personal side note: Astarion’s face is starting to piss me off. I had an ex with an extremely similar face, similar fine bone structure and high cheekbones. He was much younger though. Guy was the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen, and dumb as a box of rocks. (Stupid, anti-Semitic rocks) I am constantly reminded of my stupid ex while I contemplate Astarion’s cheekbones, and I mourn that that man was not blessed with more sense or else I might still be with him.

[soul-wanderer]

06x06 review (that is actually not just about Marina, because man, there was a lot to unpack in that ep):

The good:

- girl’s camp at the station (finally) aka “nobody should be trusted around children except for Theo and Vic and maybe Jack, if we ignore his overall mental health status right now”

- Vic being a great mentor/leader, because we know she is, but she needs to know this too

- Theo being a gem again and being great at reflecting and voicing just what’s going wrong at the station

- Vic and Ross having a talk and Vic questioning her career. Most people go through that at least once a day and it was nice to see her voice those doubts and it was even nicer to have Ross help her through that and help her see her strengths and that sometimes things can just be right too

- Vic being offered the leadership position in regards to Crisis One - she more than deserves this

- the Helicopter case actually had some real action, and gosh, did I miss that, so yay for that

- Andy being a great friend, once again, despite Maya trying to push her away again and again. Andy just knows Maya and knows (hopefully) that she doesn’t always mean what she’s saying, so she’s not easily insulted by Maya and that’s just what Maya needs and I am glad they’re bringing Andy back for that

The best (apart from Vic’s arc):

- Ross finally finding whatever sense she lost throughout the last few episodes and realizing that she can’t risk the career she worked so hard for, especially not for a dude like Baldy. Man, that was the speech we did not deserve but most definitely needed to hear - let’s hope she sticks to that in future eps

The bad (surprise, this is where we are getting to Maya and Carina):

- Maya just eating painkillers like candy in front of the kid and then giving her a whole damn speech that might as well have come from her dad (makes sense canonically, but who the hell allowed her around a bunch of kids in her state?!)

- no, I will not comment on Maya’s and Carina’s argument at the beginning of the ep, because *sighs*

- who let Ross tell these kids traumatic stories from war? Who?! Anyone? They all cannot be trusted around children, I stg

- Maya’s bra offers surprisingly little support for the job they’re doing - girl, take care of yourself, that’s a serious health matter

- it’s bad that Beckett didn’t end up getting fried - seriously, that would have been so freaking funny, I’m mad that did not happen

The worst:

- Sullivan deadass suggesting that he and Ross quit their jobs and move somewhere else. THE AUDACITY THIS MAN HAS. I’m fucking livid at this point, seriously. He screwed over Andy and now what? He found the next woman he can do that with? That man has not an ounce of respect for women in his body and it’s showing. It’s always about him and his feelings and his needs and his this and his that and it needs to stop. They need to come up with a new storyline for him or else I hope he ends up getting fried by lightning after the hiatus

The unexpected:

- nope, not gonna mention it, y’all know what I mean that cracking noise is gonna haunt me forever

Hopes/Fears/Predictions for 6B:

- Spine inury for Maya? Not a fan of the memory loss idea, so. It would also have the potential for reconnection while Carina supports her during her mental and physical recovery, as long as Maya isn’t going full on depressed about it

- Vic being a badass leader, please and thank you

- Natasha remembering her own words

- I know that’s gonna be an unpopular one, but maybe it’s best if Maya and Carina go back to being friends - at least while they both sort out their mental health issues. It would allow them to get some distance between them and reconnect eventually while setting up a healthier basis for their relationship

- and please get rid of Beckett already. Please.

Happy Hiatus, everyone and be nice to each other!

[lphone-t]

Who wants skinny white individual rant⁉️⁉️⁉️. If so you’re at the right place 👍👍👍

Ya know sometimes I think about curling up in a ball and giving up, wave the white flag, but Everytime I do, nothing ends, and there’s nothing I can do to make it end. I wish I was me a few years ago, I mean I wasn’t a better person but atleast my emotions were somewhat stable. Nowadays it’s just sadness no matter what happens. Good things, while temporarily good, turn into bad things because of my dumbass over thinking every single thing. White individual with king pfp having issues 😱😱😱I can’t even do anything when I’m sad. I’ve accepted that I can’t make myself “unsad” but when I get sad I want to make others happy, I just get overwhelmed with emotion and want to tell people how grateful I am for them, but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m too afraid to talk to people, afraid I’ll annoy them. Maybe this is just normal me, or maybe it’s just worsened because of other stuff. This is what two days of school does to someone I stg. Maybe hoping school life goes better is my best bet, I mean it’s only been two days I’m just judging too early right? Lmao. No but seriously woowoowoo. I feel bad for whoever stumbles upon this idk why I’m posting this, guess I just felt really compelled to, I mean I did give the white individual rant warning in my defense though. Maybe a Moriscos that’s not what I meant to spell I meant “miracle” anyways maybe a miracle will happen and everything will go super well despite all the roadblocks I’ve been encountering. Used to blame all of this on me being “lonley” but tbh I don’t think being lonley is even the main problem, There’s so much more going on probably but hey, thinking about it even more probably hurts even more. If anyone sees this I’m so sorry, no mentally same person would read through all this but just In case I want to apologize for making you read cringe lol. My page isn’t too public so this isn’t out of the ordinary but still feel bad for the one person who saw funny breaking bad meme and BOOM paragraph about some individual talking about their brain going poof, though some of have some evil spirits. You see a normal person wouldn’t press “post” but I’m not normal so I’m gonna press it because it’s the illusion that counts, and if I trick myself into feeling better maybe I’ll feel better. Also Walter white and Saul Goodman are horrible people I don’t like them I just think they’re funny.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, April 9th, 2024!

12:45am: Studied, now taking a nap till 4am lol wish me luck!! Had delicious meatballs for dinner, had a great day, saw the solar eclipse (!) and didn't hear from old guy which was nice for once!! Tired of him calling and ruining my Mondays with his sob stories :) I'm just saying I actually had a hella productive day because I wasn't triggered before noon! Hallelujah ❤️ good night everyone I love you all :) ❤️

12:26pm: I'm so burnt out and doneeee. Also just ewwwww ick what a fucked up guy fr I had to put him in his place in order for him to treat his gf right 🤢 fucking hell I'd be so embarrassed if he posted me ever again like I think I would fr cry out of embarrassment. I want to tell her so badly but(!) that would only put bad karma on me I really don't want that, just let her find out eventually ❤️ yuck

4:41pm: I think he blocked me from messaging him, but didn't actually block me? Why are there so many different ways to ignore someone lmao I didn't even know you could do that. Sucks for him. I'm done with my pediatric kidney transplant research, 🥳 and he's not around. Kinda like he died or something. He really went with me through all the bullshit but didn't want to stick around for the end result is kinda fucking crazy and stupid tbh. Really really really crazy to think another guy is gonna get the big baller Dr. version of me, and he only got the stressed out poor broke ass weight gaining student version but whatever. It's not like I wasn't going to make it at some point. Anyway, his loss and someone else's gain 😎❤️ You would think he'd appreciate it the most, but he was too pussy to have a bad ass Dr. as a wife and just REALLY wanted to be the aLpHa MaLe and needed a lower level bitch 😬😂 The definition of self sabotage and toxic masculinity/ red pill bs. I need a confident man to match my energy and that's really some shit he was never able to do. It doesn't matter what you do for a living either I just need you to own your shit. He always wanted me to be quieter or more chill because he just wasn't shit. Every time I shined he looked like a rusty piece of junk instead of just shining with me. It's not like I wanted him to be beneath me, but he really wasn't helping himself either. Whatever. His loss is someone else's gain 🥰 Can't wait to find my partner ❤️

10:09pm: I really want to take my birth control out but I'm just gonna wait until I can call the pharmacy tomorrow because I don't know how early I can pick it up! This is killing me. I have deduced from planned parenthood (thanks!) that because I've had it in for infinity number of weeks (lol) I'm good to take it out as long as the new one goes in at 7 days or earlier if I want to try to change my start date?. The out time just cannot exceed 7 days. I want to have it out the whole 7 days this time and maybe I'll duck around with it next time trying to move it to Mondays again instead of Friday?? Idk I just need this shit to enD I remember why I skipped my period for six months straight now. I think that might be a record I haven't seen much longer than 2-3 months.

Goals: Start my period asap (safely) and get as much out as possible* I stg I'm gonna be chugging cayenne juice n vitamin C and tea and water y'all don't knoW. I want the spotting to STOP. Side note I also put bandaids on my boob acne maybe this will get under control :')

Get through this week's work and become the CritCare expert and try not to fail the last OSCE omg :') last verbal defense :')) it's all coming to an end literally.

Seriously though staying hydrated and *stress relieving* are the main goals until next weekend.

By the time the 19th rolls around (!!!) y'all aren't ready for that HYPE ASS weekend free dinner and Jesse McCartney and then the last week will be a BLUR 🤠

It's so funny because when I'm lit I know I'm not going to be thinking about him. It's not even that bad anymore. I can't imagine when the stress is 0%. I'd say I'm more fatigued than stressed atp too, like stress is about 20% and it's all to do with my period tbh, not even school. A little anxiety about APPE so maybe 25% but I'm not even really thinking about that yet either.

[faust1926]

don/t reblog

uuhmhmhhhhhhhmmm political posts related to my delusions should be blacklistable or something (/rhetorical /not a real request) cause I stg I've gotta stop seeing things like "there will be no end of the world or even a collapse of capitalism in the near future the way so many 'revolutionaries' seem hopeful for right now. you're just desperate for an easy and instantanious reset, and you're scared of things continuing this way indefinitely with only 'small' scale and/or ineffective activism". and I'm like, ohhhh yeah yeah of course! I agree ^_^ (<- doesn't actually agree and is now feeling pretty distressed about others not taking the apocalypse seriously tbh, cause it's absolutely gonna happen for sure I know it, I've got angels telling me about it and everything and they'd never lie to me soooo..... 💁)

[goingmorry]

[One Piece Headcanons] OP Boys -> reacting to thirst tweets

Characters: Zoro, Sanji, Law, Kid, Ace, Sabo, Luffy, Killer, Shanks, Mihawk

Tags: modern au, extremely crude language, sexually suggestive, daddy kink mention

Author's Note: Based on Buzzfeed's Celebrity Thirst Tweets. Since no one’s gonna write this, I will! Please don't take this seriously. 😂

RORONOA ZORO

Reads every message with a deadpan expression.

Thinks every message involving violence like "he could punch me and I'd thank him" or "he could step on me and I'd beg for more" are somehow related to training. 💪🏻

Doesn't understand how people can say certain things out loud but he's intrigued nonetheless.

Fan: "I would let those tiddies of his waterboard me any day of the week. 👁👅👁"

Zoro: "...That doesn't seem comfortable. Is that for an endurance exercise?"

SANJI

The thirstier, the better.

Not for his health though.

Nosebleeds after the third message.

His fans are surprised he lasted that long honestly.

And no, not in that way. 😏

Can't stop gushing blood 'cause his thoughts are running W I L D.

Someone has to call an ambulance for an emergency blood transfusion 'cause it's not stopping tonight. 🚑

Fan: "I would love to wrap up my sweet baby boy, Sanji, in warm blankets and cuddle him for being such an angel. But I would also let him raw me so hard until my legs can't hold me up anymore. 😌"

Sanji: *trips over himself, collapses and almost dies*

TRAFALGAR LAW

You know that confused math lady meme? That's basically him.

Thinks way too hard about each message like there's some deeper meaning but really they just want his DICK. 🍆 🍑 👀

Constantly questions his fans' sanity.

Fan: "Law has free reign to pelvic thrust my face until I pass out. And then, he could slice me up afterward and I'd worship him for it. 🥵"

Law: "Interesting. I wonder if you would be willing to accept an examination? Of the medical kind, of course."

EUSTASS KID

Knows that people act differently online vs. in person.

So he adds fuel to the fire.

Acts like he's down to fuck.

But only because he knows most people don't have the guts to follow through.

Fan: "Kid's like 6'8. I'm like 99 percent sure that his cock is fucking massive. He would absolutely D E S T R O Y me, but tbh I ain't gonna be the one complaining. 🤤"

Kid: "Wanna come say that to my face?" *wide grin*

PORTGAS D. ACE

Flustered af but extremely polite it's laughable.

It could literally be the raunchiest message and he'll fucking thank them like they just complimented his hat weaving skills.

Gives a small bow after reading every tweet.

Genuinely surprised that so many people find him attractive enough to thirst over him.

Fan: "I know Ace always prances around shirtless but can he also go pantsless too? Please just let him be straight up naked. I need to admire that thicc ass of his. 😩"

Ace: "That's very kind of you. Thank you so much for the compliment. 😊"

SABO

Cheeky bastard.

Reads the messages very slowly with no shame whatsoever.

Responds cooly and makes eye-contact with the camera.

Fan: "Listen here, bitches. I only drink two things to quench this thirst: water and Sabo's cum. And water's not gonna cut it for me anymore. 🙃"

Sabo: "I appreciate your enthusiasm, and I will keep this in mind." *smirks at the camera*

MONKEY D. LUFFY

Asks a question every single damn time. LMAO.

Straight up definition of ???

Visibly confused like a lost puppy.

"What does bussy mean?"

"What is creampie? Is that food?"

"I don't understand what they mean by blow. They want to blow me? But I can already blow myself."

Proceeds to use Gear Third to enlarge himself. 😧

Chaos ensues. Cameras start flying everywhere and the studio begins to panic.

KILLER

Shy af. 😳

Has to pause in between reading each thirsty message due to embarrassment.

Surprised at the horniness of the tweets.

Luckily for him, his mask hides his flustered face well.

Fan: "I want Killer to suffocate me with those thicc thighs of his. I would literally thank him for it. 😩"

Killer: "Hmm... That doesn't sound very pleasurable."

SHANKS

110% down to clown. 🤡

Laughs every time he reads about people thirsting over him.

He's sexy, he knows it, and he's not going to apologize for it.

Ends up making his fans blush instead.

Asks the interviewer for the most explicit messages.

Basically, do your worst. He can handle it.

Fan: "Shanks, I'm just a hole, sir."

Shanks: "If that's how you want it to be, sweetie. I promise I'll be gentle." *winks at camera* 😏

DRACULE MIHAWK

Out of touch with internet culture.

Lost with all the abbreviations and slang.

Has to ask the interviewer what "thirsty thot" means.

Responds to the horny messages with his own banter but with the most serious expression ever.

Flattered that people find him attractive.

Fan: "Oh god. Daddy Mihawk, please I stg I will literally pay to lick those sweet abs. 👅"

Mihawk: "I'm not your father, but I suppose I will entertain you just this once."

[cognitosclowns]

Have any headcanons for the gang with a reader who owns a pet? (like a dog or cat or smth) maybe include Robotus on this one, your hcs for him have made me fall in love with him after rewatching Inside Job I stg/pos

THIS IS SO SO SO CUTE <3

all sfw!!!

I WROTE THIS ASSUMING THE READER BRINGS THE PET TO WORK,, LMK IF YOU HAD SMTH ELSE IN MIND <3

BRETT LOVES ANIMALS. ALL ANIMALS. Even bugs (from a very far distance <3 possibly with him cowering atop a desk).

He just does this massive,,, gasp and looks like he’s about to burst into tears when he sees your pet. He’s vibrating with excitement

He will absolutely just,, sit in your office and play with it during lunch. 

Will absolutely walk your dog if you’re too busy <3

-

GIGI ALSO LOVES PETS. 

Her clothes are,, very expensive but dear god she does not even care,, if she sees a puppy it is getting LIFTED INTO HER ARMS, AND CUDDLED WITHIN AN INCH OF ITS LIFE <3

She has a few of her own fur babies at home (Cat, Dog, Tiger, miscellaneous rodents) so,, she’s all for you bringing your pet to work!! As long as you bring it around her office once in a while <3 

you will become her new favorite person.

She’ll stoop down and talk to your pet like they’re a Little Noble Person. Will keep treats in her bag in case it wanders up to her during the day <3

You two laying on the floor of her office, watching your pet becomes a regular event.

-

Andre has always wanted a dog but,,, doesn’t feel responsible enough to own one.

IF YOU BRING A PET TO THE OFFICE HE’LL <3 GIVE IT SO MANY CUDDLES. he doesn’t even care if it scratches him <3

seriously he will clean up his office, pet-proof it and put a food/water dish. he might even synthesize some special pet-feed for it.

-

If it’s a dog? get it away from JR get it away so help him he is going to punt it into the sun don’t test him these shoes are steel-toed (Rand once sicced a Dog on him. It has left both mental and physical scars. <3 keep it far away from him please)

A cat though? As long as it doesn’t mess with him he doesn’t care!! He might even let it wander into his office and give it a few pets.

-

Animals,, don’t like Myc. he’s not sure if it’s because of the slime, or his General Vibe but,, even the most well-behaved of pets are out for blood.

Andre has a theory about them being able to Feel Myc Inside Their Heads, but Myc thinks that bullshit because ‘animals are never thinking anything anyways’.

He will stare at it from a distance, and talk to it like it’s a coworker he hates <3.

‘Hey-hey-hey - where the fuck are you going? Oh no, don’t you waggle that tail at me mister, I’ve still got a scratch from our last rodeo. Are you seeing this guy, Y/N? The nerve.’ and the like.

-

Animals,, also don’t seem to like Glenn? cat’s especially seem to :/// not be his biggest fans.

If your pet doesn’t Go For The Throat Immediately, he’ll definitely try to give some affection!!

he’s gonna be shy to approach but!! If you offer he’ll definitely try interacting with it (if you’re there to assist)!!

His hands are Constantly Slightly Moist so,, the pet may not appreciate it smdns but he looks stupidly happy after petting it <3

HIS FAVORITES ARE REALLY BIG DOGS. he grew up with a Massive Border Collie that lived at a farm down the road, so,, he’s partial to them <3

-

Reagan,, just doesn’t have the energy for pets smndsd please keep it outta her lab and the war room.

She’s definitely more tollerant of cats!! They just seem to Get Her. They don’t get in her way (usually), and sometimes they even sit on her lap??

She will turn your own cat against you im sorry <3 not even intentionally, they just bond to her so well? 

Your cat is cheating on you with Reagan Ridley. Im sorry to be the one to deliver you this news.

 -

‘Tell me you aren’t keeping that thing here.’

Robotus like,, those dads who hate pets and refuse to let you get one, but end up becoming your pets best friend?

It clumsily boops its nose into his Containment Tube and <3 its over for him, he’d protect this thing with his life.

he’s gonna pretend to hate it if anyone else is around but,, if he’s alone? he’s absolutely gonna be Cooing Endearments at it while it scampers around <3

Somehow manages to train it better than you? Like if he whistles it’ll come up to his tube and gently bonk it’s head on the glass? Bastard.

I HOPE THESE WERE OKAY <3 THIS WAS SO CUTE AAAA

[iamnmbr3]

Another day. Another questionable interview from someone involved with the production. This time the Director (who to her credit at least is better than Mike Waldron in that she is able to say she likes Loki’s character whereas his interviews drip with open disdain and disrespect and he can’t even pretend otherwise). (x)

Kate Herron: But Loki doesn't have many friends, you know? He builds this friendship with Mobius across the second episode.

Here again we get out-of-universe confirmation that the narrative framing of Mobius in a positive light is intentional. Mobius is not Loki’s friend. He’s his captor and his torturer. Loki isn’t on equal footing with Mobius. They don’t even have a boss-employee relationship. LOKI WAS MOBIUS’S SLAVE until he escaped. He was being held against his will and coerced under threat of death to work for Mobius and his organization without compensation. That is slavery. And it’s not ok. 

Mobius also berated him by telling him that he is inherently evil and monstrous - the very things that drove him to suicide. Mobius is complicit in acts of torture, genocide, murder, privacy violation, and  police brutality and shows no signs of having any problem with it. He’s no more Loki’s friend than Thanos or the Black Order are. 

When has he ever treated Loki with dignity or respect? Even if we ignore all the horrific stuff, he’s just plain not nice to Loki. He constantly mocks and belittles him and never takes his side. That’s not a how a friend behaves!  That’s how a bully behaves! Where is the basis for this friendship??!!

Kate Herron: “And obviously, we're seeing it through Loki and Sylvie's POV. You know, neither of them are good or bad. A complete, pure good hero would probably join the queue and be like, "Well, hopefully we'll get on the train." But they're not those characters. They're going to try and get on it.”

They snuck onto a train??? That’s what she thinks a grey character is? That’s so dull! Loki was a complex and grey character. Larry (as I call the tv show character) and Sylvie...got on a train without a ticket. That’s laughable! That doesn’t make me think about complex morality or issues. And c’mon. All the heroic Avengers have done that level of rule breaking MANY times and they don’t lose their “pure good hero status.” Tony Stark constantly does things like that! I want Loki back. HE is a grey character. But I haven’t seen him in the show so far. Instead I get Larry the watered down clown. 

Kate Herron: “When Loki and Mobius are at Pompeii, for example, that's shown through Loki's POV, right? He's joyous and he cracked the case. Pompeii was horrific, but we're seeing it through his perspective and he's in a completely different headspace.”

You know a scene can have more than one emotion right? Like he could be happy about solving the case but also horrified at the destruction of Pompeii? Instead he is laughing at the people who are about to die horrifically and seems to have no compassion for them whatsoever. Sure people can headcanon reasons why he behaved that way (and more power to them. Fixing dumb canon is what fandom is all about!) but the narrative framing is to me pretty clearly lighthearted and the director confirms that intent. There seems to be no awareness that by having Loki behave so callously it makes him come across as incredibly cruel. Far more than he ever was in canon. 

In Thor 2011 Thor is laughing while slaughtering Jotnar (as is considered appropriate in his culture) but Loki isn’t. He kills when he has to but he doesn’t enjoy it, something that’s unusual for the culture he was raised in. This Pompeii scene could’ve been a great time to see Loki’s more compassionate side as he looks at the people who are going to die. We could’ve seen some real conflict from him. And it would’ve been a great moment to start introducing the concept that he’s more than just a simple villain to more casual viewers. Instead, although they think they’re “redeeming” Larry over the course of the show they’ve made him far worse and more villainous. I wish they had hired an experienced Director who also understands Loki - like Kenneth Brannaugh!!! - rather than a Director who has never headed up a major project before. Though even the best Director couldn’t fix the abysmal and ooc script and story Mike Waldron came up with. 

Kate Herron: “I think that's the thing that's really key for her is that she's a completely original character, completely born out of our writers, and that, for me, was exciting.” 

Remember when I said Sylvie is the favored OC? Called it. 

Kate Herron: “The train scene I love because Loki doesn't get many wins and it's nice to see him having a nice sing-song. He's just enjoying himself. Because I think that's such a funny way, as well, to show the difference between him and Sylvie is that she's on a mission. She's like, "We're going to get off this moon." And when she's offered a drink, she's like, "No, thank you."

WOW. I hate this SO much. So suddenly Sylvie gets to act more like Loki and Loki suddenly doesn’t know how to be subtle and is just a dumb clown messing everything up. C’mon! This is absolutely ridiculous. This is not Loki silvertongue. This is not the Loki who tried to diffuse the situation on Jotunheim and almost succeeded. This is not the Loki who was always a restraining voice in Thor’s ear. They’ve turned Sylvie into discount Loki without any depth or complexity or vulnerability and they’ve turned Loki into discount Thor ft. dumb clown! Absolutely outrageous. 

Kate Herron: “everything is not what it seems and even in our design, people have picked up on certain things. Like the way that they dress, or the posters and that there's something a bit more going on there.”

If the TVA actually turn out to be twist villains I will laugh SO hard; I’d say that twist is too dumb even for Marvel but...it’s really not! Like. Guys. If they’re gonna be TWIST villains you have to not have them do obviously villainous things on screen!!!! BECAUSE THEN IT’S NOT A TWIST!!!!

From the moment we meet them we see them commit acts of police brutality, murder, genocide, trial without due process, enslavement, privacy violation, and torture IN ORDER TO ELIMINATE FREE WILL. Like. They are literally the most evil organization in the MCU. Even Thanos can’t compare. So having them be revealed as villains will fall flat. Because the twist isn’t the audience learning new information or the main character learning it. It’s just the narrative suddenly acknowledging it and treating their atrocities seriously. So the twist is in the real world not the show. And it’ll make Larry look like an even bigger idiot than he already does if he’s suddenly like “Wait the people who tortured and enslaved me are evil?! What?!??!” (I stg if he has to fight miss minutes in the end like I joked about I will lose it).

Also. Why make it a twist?! When you treat the villains as a joke it robs the narrative of tension. Their acts of evil should’ve been acknowledged from the beginning in order to create sympathy for the protagonist and tension in the narrative as we watch him try to escape this situation! Smh. The only funny joke in this series is how badly the writing fails. 

[multiplefandomsblog]

S/O who lost a bet to Kokichi, punishment being a Maid’s Dress

request; Ooooo, Requests are open! Could I have a female S/O who lost a bet and now has to wear a sexy maid outfit? And Kokichi is just. Eating. It. Up.

warnings; reader lost a bet and has to wear a maid dress, reader uses female pronouns and names, reader uses master(non-sexually), cussing, had to make kaito the ‘bad guy’ for trope reasons lmfao, kokichi gets jealous and possessive, they goof off a ton at the end, overall just fluff without much plot, and i.. i dont even know how to say this, i used this phrase i found from the internet “top 15 embarrassing things to say to strangers” so like,, watch out for that..! ahahahaha-

note; omfg i hate this one so much- most out of all my works, i stg i am the most disappointed in this one. please don’t even read it- i could’ve done so much better ;-; man, i just butchered this like a fricking idiot-- sorry anon!!!! you seriously deserved so much better, i am so sorry. there are so many issues with this- the ending, the cringe, the messiness, the fucking clichés- seriously, please please forgive me. although you probably shouldn’t, i am just so so sorry T_T please don’t be afraid to ask me if you want this rewritten, i am like, BEGGING YOU TO ASK ME TO REWRITE THIS SAVIBVDHBSDKJ

word count; 2.1k

You took a deep breath before leaving your dorm, mentally preparing yourself for the walk of shame to the dining room where you had to… you didn’t even want to say it, nor acknowledge it. The bet you had lost the day before with Kokichi, had left you with nothing but bitterness in the end. Your eyebrows were permanently creased, an expression of pure regret on your face as you shuffled unenthusiastically down the hall in your frilly maid’s outfit. 

Shuichi greeted you as soon as he noticed the dress, a concerned, confused and albeit a bit flustered expression on his face as he did. “H-hey S/o! Um, so are you going to the dining hall?” He asked an obvious question, just so he could somehow get you to talk about your huge dress. Only nodding shamefully, you stifled a sigh. 

Shuichi only made a noise of acknowledgement, letting the conversation go stale as he was too afraid to address the elephant in the room, himself. You were both silent, Saihara standing in front of you, awkwardly planted on his spot while he looked at everything but you. 

He didn’t say anything, only occasionally sparing glances at your dress as he stood like a tree. Getting irked from the silence, you deadpanned, “... You want to know why I’m wearing a maid’s dress.” He flushed at even the mention of the word, as if you had said something terrible.

“Y-you don’t have to te-” Disrupting his excuse, you looked him dead in the eye, and uttered one word, “Kokichi.” Shuichi blinked at the name, before nodding in pity. After your short response, he required no further questions, the single name was all it took for the realization to wash over him. Even if he wasn’t a detective, it wouldn’t take less than a second to know what was going on. 

As if the said-Kokichi had been waiting for you to say that, Kokichi suddenly popped out of nowhere, scaring the two of you at his sudden appearance, “Oh? What’s my maid doing with Saihara-chan? Not wasting time I hope~” He laughed sadistically at your suffering, “Chop chop my maid! Since I’m your master, you’re gonna have to follow my every order! So don’t even try to disobey me; cuz I’m sure maid-chan knows what happens when she does, right? Nishishi!” You cringed at the nickname, ere sighing in defeat and letting him drag you to the dining room where you’d soon meet your demise.

You looked back at Shuichi one last time, mouthing a, ‘Help me.’ as Kokichi dragged you away. Shuichi only sent back a sheepish and apologetic look, in which you glared at him, betrayal overtaking you.

A couple of minutes later of countless teasing and judgemental looks sent your way, you were finally at the dreaded destination. To your surprise, Kokichi eagerly kicked the door to the dining room open before you could even prepare yourself, the entire class turning around at the loud noise. Kaito was first to speak up about the dramatic entrance, ‘Kokichi!? What the actual F-! … f-ffffffffffuuhh..” Kaito trailed off, his attention shifting off Kokichi, to focusing on you in a maid’s dress. 

Despite wanting you to feel the pure unfiltered humiliation, the sadistic bastard definitely did not love the way Kaito was eyeing you. Smile faltering for a second, he considered dragging you to his own room and having you perform a private show for him instead of these assholes. Shaking his head, he tried dispersing the thoughts of… jealousy? No, that can’t be it. 

He decided he’d delay his feelings of conflict for later, and unfortunately for you, focusing back on your nervous figure. Peaking at the look on your face, he couldn’t help the twinge of worry for your well-being. 

Noticing him stare at you with a small concern, you furrowed your brows in suspicion, that wasn’t really like him. Only then, did you notice the desperation on his face. He looked like he was choosing to either say, “Are you okay?” or “Pleaaaase!” He watched you, eyes wide with worry yet looking as if he had been begging you. Choosing your fate, you sent him a reassuring, but solemn nod, deciding to do the act he had been looking forward to for the entirety of yesterday; the day you lost that damned bet. 

You sighed defeatedly at his pouty expression, you were weak for him and he knew it.

“Alright.” He looked up at you with expecting eyes, holding back a shit-eating grin, “Alright what..?” You sighed for the 2nd time within the span of 45 seconds, “Ugh... Master.” The single word uttered out from your pretty lips had his entire body shuddering, fighting back the blush on his face, he leaned his back towards you teasingly, his ego had been very clearly stroked, “That’s right. I’m your master; so come on and get to it! Don’t make your master wait~” He added, clearly enjoying your misery. You pouted, where did the worried Kokichi go?

Turning to face the crowd that seemed to be staring at you while you flirted talked normally with Kokichi, you felt your frills shuffle with each movement you made. You closed your eyes in preparation, making a mental note never to make a bet with Kokichi, ever. “Do I have to get on my knees?” He smiled cheerfully, “It’s part of the deal~” ‘Nishishi’ing as dread washed over your face.

Everyone watched in anticipation, some with concern, but mostly the former— as you got on your knees, the skirt neatly pleating on the ground. 

Disgruntled, you uttered out a small, “If you tickle me, I will… I- “ You looked back at Kokichi, a look of, ‘Do I have to do this?’ contorting on your face as you stared at him pleadingly, dying inside when he nodded frantically like a child at a candy store.

“... S-say hee hee and prance around like a rainbow lollipop on a cloud of unicorn wishes.“ You flinched , the entire class had suddenly started howling and rushing towards you—most likely to tickle you—, but right before a giddy Angie and a determined Tenko could get their hands on you, Kokichi suddenly spoke up, stopping them in their tracks. “Hey! She’s not allowed to be touched by mutts like you, so get back!” He brutally spat, voice scratching from the force of his words. 

Kaito immediately took the opportunity to ask you out as Kokichi’s occupied with the others, not hesitating for a second. Tapping on your shoulder, a shy smile adorning Kaito’s face as he awkwardly shuffled, “Hey S/o..! Do you maybe wanna, um..” Kokichi swiftly popped out from underneath your skirt as if this was a routinely thing, standing in between you and Kaito. “What the hell-” Kaito recoiled back in shock, had he just been hiding under there?? Kokichi looked at you, before looking back at him. 

You were sure if looks could kill, Kaito would’ve been dead a year ago. “Hey. You know she’s mine, yeah?” Kokichi spoke with a dead-cold look on his face, before almost immediately contorting back into his usual mischievous smile, “... My personal maid, of course! Nishishi!” Kaito stared Kokichi down, in which Kokichi simply glared back in amusement, the same smile staying onto his face. Irking, Kaito discontentedly walked away, shortly after Kokichi had won the stare-down. 

Exhaling loudly, his smile fell off his face as well as the breath he kept in, a neutral expression replacing his grin as he stared back at you, “You know, this whole thing is getting kinda boring, let’s just leave.” He tried putting on his signature charming grin, but you could see the way his teeth clenched. It seemed Kaito asking you out had a bigger effect on him than he wanted to admit. 

Despite teasing and asking him if he was worried and/or jealous on the way to a secluded area, he persists, staying stubborn and brushing it off. “It just wasn’t as fun as I thought! Now stop nagging me and hurry uuuuup! You’re such a slowpoke.” Perking up, he suddenly remembered something, “Oh wait! That’s an order, right? So you have to obey.” Rolling your eyes, you jolted as an idea suddenly found its way to your head. 

Flashing a mischievous smirk in his direction, you left him bewildered as you started sprinting across the field. “Wh- Hey! Haha, what the fuck!?” He cackled at how stupid you looked, throwing your heels across the field somewhere as you stumbled from the length of the dress, still running to god knows where. 

His laughing suddenly halted as he witnessed the way you took a large leap and stepped on your dress, tumbling down as you did.“Stooop! You’re gonna actually hurt yourself, seriousl-! …” Kokichi suddenly fell silent as you fell on your face, only sounds of him choking back holding back his own loud laughter. But the boy could only hold back for so long, and as you raised your head from the field, you could hear him just fucking losing it. 

Turning around and glaring directly at him, you stumbled back to your feet, jogging towards one of your lost heels before hurling it directly at Kokichi’s stomach. “Take that you little shit!” Now you were the one laughing at his misery. In the end the heel didn’t do what you wanted it to, as he just kept on laughing, only now wheezing from the hilarity of the situation and for the air you knocked out of him. 

Hearing his crazy horse laughter fill the air, you couldn’t help but laugh just as loud, along with him. You jogged up to his hysterical figure, falling down next to him, your own giggles mingling in with his. He turned his head to you, pointing at your face weakly, before throwing his head back and laughing even louder. 

Eventually, the laughter calmed, both of you just bathing in the afterglow of the extreme euphoria you both had felt. Kokichi turned his head again, staring at you in thought. Noticing his eyes, you took your eyes off the sky, catching his seemingly whipped gaze, “What?” 

He smiled, “Even though you look like a maid who had just went through hell to try and escape her traumatizing slave prison life, you still look cute.” Admitting with no hesitation and way too many details, he watched in amusement as your face flushed. “And borderline sexy too. I am loving the sexy prisoner look.” He added, catching you off guard as you flushed even harder. 

He sighed lovingly, “You know, I’d gladly pay you to stay in that dress... And I’m not lying.” You scoffed and looked at him in disbelief, Kokichi frowning back, “Hey! Don’t look at me like that! You know damn well, you look hot in those tights.” He drifted his eyes lower and lower, tilting his head to get a better view- before you suddenly chopped him. 

Wincing from the hit, he started bawling, “Uwah! How meeeaan! And to do that to your master too! How could you!?” Here come the waterworks. You only grimaced, right before decreasing your face in defeat, deciding to play along, “Fine. I’m sorry then,” Sighing, “Master.” You groaned out, clearly unhappy with the title Kokichi had forced on himself. Kokichi went light-headed as soon as he heard that word come out your lips, smiling like a goof, he only gawked at you. 

Shooting your head back to him, you were concerned as to why he was suddenly quiet. Was there something wrong with him? Did he pass out? “Master?” You called him by his title, shaking his tiny figure. The expression on his face showed pure bliss, “Just kiss me already.” 

He snapped out of it for a second, eyes darting to yours. You glared at him, in which he simply glared back, a challenging smirk on his face, differing greatly from his expression from earlier, “That’s an order~” 

Blinking at the statement, you gave in to your demise, slowly leaning down to kiss his forehead lightly, a flush on your face. Pressing your lips lightly against his skin, you pulled away shortly, lingering no longer than you had to. However short it was, that alone seemed to do it for him, as you swore you saw hearts shoot out from the spot in which you pecked. 

Giggling strangely, he rested on the field, completely surrendering his body to the earth as he went limp. “Nishi… My maid loooves me!” You stayed silent at the bold remark, wanting to refute but you knew he’d just figure out your lies. 

... Even so, you refused to admit it, “You fucking wish.” Snorting, you pushed his face away from you gently, cackling as you heard his whining.