#seriously this man and his fuckin talent(s)

[for-a-longlongtime]

Pedro's writing

Ever since he interviewed David Duchovny about his book The Reservoir and he spoke about his own writing, I've been wishing so badly that we could read anything that he's worked on - although I'm sure his old writings from when he was starting out will never see the light of day, seems like they were very personal.

But then now he just did a little blurb about director Celine Song for Time Magazine, and I just... help? I can't stop re-reading it. Fucking love how earnest it is and how he uses language. And yeah, I've got it pretty bad for him obviously, but come on - he is GOOD at this.

He writes as a writer, and he's a skilled one at that. Sure, everything put out by someone who is as famous as he is - especially for a publication as TIME - has been proofed/edited, and for many folks even ghostwritten I'm sure.

But you can tell this is him.

And I just... need a moment.

Gifs by @a7estrellas | From the ending of Audible interview with David Duchovny

[katiexpunk]

F R E A K I N G out at this photo. Like actually screaming.

Pedro Pascal on Kodak Tri-X 320 film

📸 by Lloyd Bishop

[londonspirit]

Incoherent ramblings about TLOU(s last episode)

Wednesday... About to get ready for another hard day of adulting and making decisions I do NOT wanna make but have to. But before that I need to get some thoughts out of my head or my brain will explode.

Sunday was the last episode of my new fav show. I knew it would be hard and devastating. It always has been so far. And boy did they deliver the most emotional rollercoaster so far. 

Once again, that show is hitting highs no other show will ever get to. Everything else pales against the most genius writing/filming/editing... it’s the most perfect thing out there right now (yes, OFMD is still a VERY close second, I love that one dearly but right now TLOU just is THE show).

Week after week Im blown away by the whole thing, but particular by Pedro’s and Bella’s insane acting!!! Those two are so fuckin’ talented. Bella is just ... GOD, that kid (I mean, they’re NINETEEN!!!) *shakes head* How they’re doing this, playing a CHILD like this?!?!? It’s fucking MINDBLOWING!! Ellie’s carefree giggles compared to the devastating delivery of ONE FUCKING WORD at the end is incomprehensible to me!!! I know I keep saying this, but if they’re not getting ALL THE FREAKING AWARDS come award season, there’s something SERIOUSLY wrong with the whole damn thing. Im sure they know how amazing they are, they  must be seeing all the love and adoration and praise all over the place and yet I wanna yell it into their face, let them know how very much they’re changing the landscape of ACTING!! UGH!!

And do NOT get me started on Pedro. That man. *shakes head* I’ve spent the past weeks in Pedro heaven. Watching (my way through) all his work, interviews, scrolling though instas and pinterest sides, doing the deepest dive I’ve done when coming in new into a fandom that’s pretty much existent for over a decade!

It’s so insane to me, that the man who’s doing the loveliest/funniest/silliest interviews and being the dorkiest, most lovable human being under the sun, is capable of bringing to life one of the most complicated character i’ve ever witnessed. His Joel is stunning. (again, I don’t know the game so I have NOTHING to compare to - Im sure others can speak on that) but BY THE GODS, his range is fucking unbelievable!!! He goes from being the coldest, most closed-off human being to the softest and gentlest dad and it’s a fucking JOY to witness that. Seeing him open up, bit by excruciating bit, letting his heart love again... just to have to become the cruelest, most fearsome man in order to save his Ellie? My heart shattered into a million pieces watching him going on that rampage in the hospital - im still getting chills just thinking about that. Playing someone like that isn’t easy, getting into the headspace of it, preparing to convincingly portray someone who’s entire world just came crashing down on him AGAIN? I can’t even imagine how one does that.

Pedro makes it look like it’s the easiest thing in the world!!! Which makes it even more insane when you KNOW what a soft, sweet and gentle goofball he seems to be in real life!!!

Words still fail me here. So yeah, if you’ve watched it, you probably know what I mean.

The SOFTNESS of him in that episode, trying to get Ellie to talk, to engage, knowing what she’s went through - the reversal of their dynamics from back in the first epis: Ellie chattering about all day, and Joel being all silent and grumpy is incredible. His face when he talks to her about things he LOVES? Goodness me, my heart was aching. He was trying SO HARD!!!

And poor Ellie was traumatized and yet she’s doing her best to reply, to be present. 

I am in love with all of Joel’s facial expression around her. (his face must HURT from all the smiling he’s done in this episode. That man was MADE to smile - it’s like the fucking SUN and how dare they to deny him that!) He’s so SOFT and sweet and embracing the love he has for her. Telling her the truth about the scar? GOSH, my heart was beating out of my chest when I realized WHAT had happened. But then, of course he tried - his purpose was gone. (Which in return makes me wonder, WHY he didn’t try again??? So many questions. Joel’s such a complicated, complex person and I can’t wait to try my hands on him in writing!)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE when they give us such tender moments (even though I  KNOW they won’t last). Even when they’re painful like ‘I’ll follow you anywhere you go’ or ‘wasn’t time that did it’. ASDFGHJKLÖÄ. These two (actors and characters) are soo soo dear to my heart by now and I would go to the ends of the fucking universe to protect them!!!

They deserve some peace and quiet... but of course they won’t get it. Well, at least we have around 2 years I guess until they’ll be back?!  I wonder how unspoilered I can stay. (I know too much already but Im still not looking for it, even though Bella (probably unconsciously) may have spoilered...some things (again, I’ve seen things so that wasn’t a hard leap to make). I don’t know.

I just know, I hope to see her and Pedro together again for events and award season, being their beautiful, adorable, lovely selves around each other, making me smile til my face hurts and help me get through anything shitty real life throws at me. Their real life chemistry is insane and I love their love for each other so very much!! It oozes from every look they share, every touch and I’ve never seen a more perfect team than these two!!! *sighs happily*

So what I’m trying to say here is, that I love this show! Every single frame, every single second of pain and heartbreak, love and joy it brought me in the last nine weeks. EVERYTHING about it is perfect to me, every choice they made, be it music (ASDFGHJKLÖ), lights, cameras, locations... it’s just overall the most beautiful, perfect and epic thing i’ve watched since OFMD last year!

I might add some more incoherent thoughts once I’ve rewatched it with a bit of space between now and then. I KNOW I will def try my hands on writing some TLOU fic (not exactly sure what).

[musette22]

How about Chris taking advantage of Sebastian's praise kink by reading the reviews aloud while Seb *squirms*?

"'As Steve, Stan gives one of the most arresting performances of his career'," Chris states proudly, looking at Sebastian over the top of his phone. "That's from the Hollywood Reporter."

Sebastian peeks out from under the duvet, his eyes crinkling in the corners with the force of his smile.

"IndieWire said, 'Sebastian Stan is captivating as a charismatic maniac',” Chris continues, “and Collider wrote, 'Although Steve is clearly a psychopath, Stan is insanely enjoyable to watch.'" Chris shakes his head, suddenly overwhelmed with pride for his gorgeous, infinitely talented boyfriend. "God, Seb. This is just... Fuck, I'm so fuckin’ proud of you, baby."

"Yeah?" Sebastian asks, smiling up at him bashfully.

"You have no idea." Chris reaches out to comb his fingers through Sebastian’s hair, which still manages to stand up in at least four different directions even though it’s cut short now. “I mean, everyone who’s paid even a little attention already knew you were amazing, but doesn’t it feel great to see everyone else finally catching up now? Isn’t vindicating? I think it’s vindicating.” 

Sebastian licks his lips. “I guess,” he allows with a small shrug. “Still kinda feel like they don’t really mean it, though. Like they’re just saying it to be nice.”

Chris snorts. “Baby, you and I both know that movie critics never say anything to be nice.” He sighs, taking Sebastian’s chin in a loose hold and resting his thumb in that cleft he adores so much. “I just wish you could see how amazing you are. You’re a phenomenal actor, dammit. You deserve every bit of this praise and more, and I know you hate this, but I’m gonna keep reading it out to you because you need to hear it.”

Sebastian groans, pulling the duvet over his head. “Fine,” he mutters, “but make it quick.”

Chris does not make it quick. He scrolls through the reviews for a good half hour, picking out the best bits to read out loud to a now uncomfortably squirming Sebastian. 

“According to Variety, ‘Stan is a prime choice to play Steve: the actor's plenty charming when he needs to be, with his James Marsden-y megawatt smile of his, but he's not afraid to go dark’," Chris reads. “You hear that, Seb? Charming. Remember when you called me that?” 

The Sebastian-shaped lump under the covers moves. “’S ‘cause you are,” comes the muffled response. 

“Well yeah, I am,” Chris agrees, “but so are you. Maybe now that you’re hearing it from someone other than me you’ll actually believe it, huh?"

“Hmphh.” 

Chris shakes his head fondly, turning his eyes back to his phone screen. “‘Stan brings a quietly deranged relish to his performance as handsome charmer Steve.’ Oh man, this is good. You hearing this?” Chris shakes Sebastian’s shoulder. “Hey, come on, Seb. Look at me.” 

Sebastian makes a sound of protest, but, since he’s incapable of defying a direct order, still reluctantly pulls down the covers. When he meets Chris’s gaze, his eyes are shining, there are two spots of color high on his cheekbones and his lips are bitten red. Chris loves him when he gets like this. Loves him always, but there’s something special about moments like these. 

“Good boy,” Chris praises softly, briefly squeezing the back of Sebastian’s neck before he continues. “’What else... Oh, here - ‘We haven't seen Sebastian Stan operate on this level of camp showmanship since the climax of Renny Harlin's The Covenant. He's appealing when he takes himself seriously. He's a movie star when he gets to have fun.’ A movie star,” Chris repeats triumphantly. “And that's from that fucker who hates Bucky, so take that.” 

Switching to Twitter next, Chris starts scrolling through the tag, heart swelling with pride when he find heaps more praise for the movie and Sebastian’s performance. 

"’There are few actors doing as unique, daring, unpredictable work as Sebastian Stan; he's the most exciting actor to watch right now,’” Chris reads. “Oh, and how about this one - ‘Sebastian Stan seductively, menacingly, and frighteningly steals the show.’” 

“Oh god,” Sebastian breathes, drawing a shuddery breath. “Chris...” 

“Okay, alright,” Chris soothes, taking mercy on him. “That was the last one, I promise. For now.” He puts his phone down on the night stand before leaning down over Sebastian, ducking his head to brush his lips against Sebastian’s hot cheeks. “You did so well, sweetheart, ‘m proud of you. So fuckin’ proud.” 

Sebastian’s only response is an adorably whiny sound at the back of his throat.

“I think,” Chris continues, moving a little lower to press a kiss to Sebastian’s collar bone, “you’ve earned a reward, don’t you?” 

“Uh-huh,” Sebastian breathes, starting to squirm underneath him when Chris’s mouth finds his nipples. “I’ve been g-good - oh, god.”

“Yeah, you have,” Chris rumbles affectionately, briefly licking his palm before reaching down to wrap his hand around Sebastian, rewarding him with a firm stroke. “So good, Seb. My little movie star.”

He knows Sebastian still doesn’t really believe it, but that’s okay. He’s more than happy to spend the rest of their lives finding ways to make Sebastian see just how special he is. A morning blowjob won’t probably quite do the trick, but hey, he’s gotta start somewhere, right?

[chil2de]

Your sharing a bed with the JJK men hc's were incredible 😩 special mentions for Megumi's bed head, Nanami being a secret cuddle bug, and Yuuta having to drink both iced coffees (that fucking sent me fjdndnfd I could picture it so clearly).

You're super talented so could I, er, possible get a NSFW version? 👀 💳💥💥💥💳💳💥💳💥

Thank you so much 🥺💕

hello anonie!!! thank you dear i’m so glad you liked them!! please the credit card emojis had me cackling LMFAOOOO you really made my whole day out here!!!(THE ICED COFFEE WAS MY FAVOURITE PART TOO)

well i managed to hit the max amount of characters allowed in a tumblr post with five characters alone so i’m going to have to split this up into several posts. it just kinda happened ig

characters in this post: itadori yuuji, gojo satoru, okkotsu yuuta, fushiguro toji (megumi was supposed to be here but i had to reserve him for next post😔)

this work is nsfw. if you’re new here, please read my disclaimer before proceeding. thank you and enjoy!

based off of this post

itadori

- itadori would prob be a ‘deer in the headlights’ if you woke him up in the middle of the night

- but after that? shit, he’s so nice to you. so kind and generous for his baby girl. whether he’s fucking you ‘cause he thinks you might be able to sleep after an orgasm or there’s just an incessant desire for him- doesn’t really matter all that much to itadori. he loves you either way :)

- gets horny so easily LMFAO

- would 100% dick you down if you asked him to and i like to think that he still keeps his really sweet personality during sex cause aaaa he would be so soft and reassuring

- hardcore dom yuuji sounds sexy as all hell but let’s be real… this man won’t kill a fly and apologises for stepping on ants. only exception being angry sex but overall reserving hard dom for sukuna :)

you pepper tiny kisses onto itadori’s face, treating him with the utmost care like handling fine china. his skin feels so soft against your lips, and he smells very faintly of milky soap. there’s some traces of brand cologne on his shirt, as well as his natural scent.

“yuuujiii-“ you coo, blowing air very gently. when he doesn’t stir, you run your fingertips through a bundle of his cotton candy tainted hair. it evokes a reaction from him, so you continue to press him.

“y-uuuu-ji!”

after a few moments, itadori lets out a soft whine before grumbling incoherent blabber. “i won’t eat the pineapple! kugisaki will scream at me!”

you giggle before prodding him again, when finally he relents and jolts awake, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted at how close your face is to his.

“‘s it morning yet?” he wrinkles his nose, stifling a yawn. you emit a hum in thought before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling you into him. itadori squeaks in surprise when he feels you latch your lips onto his neck, suckling and carefully breaking the bonds underneath his sensitive skin. his moan comes out groggy, still laced with sleep.

“that drives me crazy, you know that, right?” itadori laughs, though his voice comes as a wobble.

“i know. and they look so good on you too, hm?” you giggle, caressing one hand from his neck and then down to the hem of his shirt. your fingertips flutter against his bare skin and he shivers physically and audibly. you smooth your palm flat along his chest, dragging your nails carefully against his muscles.

“kinda.. wanna.. go to.. sleep.. but i don’t.. wanna fall asleep…” itadori mumbles against his pillow. the fabric muffles most of it, but there’s a strain in his voice that leads you to believe he’s moaning lightly. guess after sukuna ripped his heart out, this area hasn’t been quite the same, huh?

“so? then go to sleep, yuuji. i’ll be fine-“ “-no way! i gotta take care of you”

“so why don’t you?”

“‘m going to! i was asleep just half a minute ago!”

“and besides-“

he shifts himself up into a sitting position, leaning his back against the headrest. itadori opens his arms, motioning for you to crawl on top of him. without any haste, you clamber over his built frame, ghosting just over the print of his hard dick.

“not that i mind but- we did, you know, in the morning already-“ “oh, shit, sorry- it’s totally fine if you don’t want t-“ “-just messing with you!”

itadori pulls your neck down and gifts you with the same treatment you were offering him earlier. his tongue is hot and wet against your skin and you can already feel the precipitation forming at the back of your knees. calloused yet tender hands smooth around your waist and he smooths his palms over your shoulder blades.

after itadori’s satisfied with the mark he left, you can’t help but groan a little into his mouth when his lips suddenly claim yours. he drinks you up, relying solely on your taste like he’s drowning and you’re the air he needs.

itadori takes his sweet time cherishing you, or rather it’s still his state of half slumber, but you can feel a dull ache prick your abdomen. you scratch up his shirt, motioning for him to take it off. you’re unsure what comes over you, but shit, you don’t want him- you need him.

“heyheyhey, ‘s okay. don’t worry, i got you.”

“i’ll take care of you.”

“just relax, okay? i got this.” he only coos with sweet reassurances, peppering small kisses and handling you with the utmost precision.

you whimper, balancing your palms flat against his abdomen for additional support as you sink down onto itadori’s cock. he lets out a hum of content, forehead bumping against yours as he allows you to adjust.

“you good?” he murmurs after a few moments, capturing a few strands of your hair in between his fingertips. you nod meekly and itadori hisses out a breathy exhale. he’s sure that if he goes rough as shit you might end up more broken than being able to sleep, so he screws his eyes shut and exhales to maintain his composure.

blazing hot lips scrape against your ear, and his voice comes out in a husky tone.

“tell me how you want it.”

by the lords of everything and all that is holy, itadori only chants the same phrase over and over in his mind. it’s a miracle that he’s able to think straight with all the blood rushing to his cock. he’s more than happy to take it slow, reward you with slow and long strokes while he showers you with high praises. but he can’t ignore the twitch that he experiences when he envisions that pretty lil fucked out face of yours, all messy and ruined for him.

you mutter that you have no preference, that you don’t care because anything he’ll do for you is perfect, and it only gives him a beaming smile at your words.

itadori grabs the scrunched up ball of his shirt that he was wearing before ripping the fabric into half with his bare teeth. you watch his eyebrows perk when he notices how fucking hot you just found that, evident with the way your walls fluttered around him.

“here, babe.”

you part your lips and he stuffs the fabric into your mouth, there’s a little bit of excess hanging out, but he reminds you that you look sexy as hell either way, on top of his dick like that with your hands on his chest, legs spread, face flushed and ready for him.

“don’t wanna be wakin’ anyone else up.”

yuuta

this man is about to end my whole career

yuuta wouldn’t bring it up on his own accord just because… respect.. and he doesn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable into doing things you’re not ready to.

it’s kind of a gray area for him because he doesn’t relish the idea of bringing up sensitive and/or extremely awkward topics so he really said ‘i’ll leave it up to future me’s problem’

but holy shit. let me absolutely tell you.

the second you hint at it? anything of the sorts? 0 to 100. he is FREAKY you cannot tell me he’s innocent just LOOK at the man

can make you scream with ease. all that practice he’s been doing with handling katanas? he doesn’t need his dick to make you cum. will gladly lick up your leftover juices and remark with a smile on his face how ‘it tastes good, angel’

similarly to itadori, i think he would be sweet and patient when asking for your preferences, etc, but after that you’re gonna have to find something to bite onto

“and? what’d you tell her?” yuuta remarks from over his fanned out deck of three cards. his gaze flickers to you as he awaits a response before using his index and middle finger to lay down a +4 card.

“red, by the way.”

you huff and glare at your boyfriend, picking up four cards and attempting to hold them in such a way that they don’t all fall and rattle to the floor. truth be told? you’re seriously a sore fuckin’ loser. you don’t know how he does it, but you’ve never managed to win a game against yuuta.

“i told maki-san that it’s her problem, not mine. if she’s so pressed about people taking them, why does she keep noodles stored in the fridge? really, noodles in the fridge? they’re really spicy as well! made my nose run like hell.” you scoff in distaste, throwing down a random red card on the pile.

“you totally ate them didn’t you?” yuuta giggles, beaming you a wide smile.

“also.. told her that i didn’t see them instead but- yeah.”

“aren’t you worried she’ll find out? oh, and, uno.”

“she might just beat me up to be honest, and, uno, you say? not anymore, love.” you sneer, throwing down a +4 card.

“i want green.”

“i’d protect you.” yuuta states over his cards. you feel like cracking a joke and laughing, but there’s absolutely zero implication on his facial features to show that he’s joking. that, and his serious tone, of course.

you flip your cards down onto the table and yuuta squeaks, pointing towards them.

“uh- i can see your cards-“

“it’s okay, not like i was gonna win anyway.”

at this point, yuuta’s mind races a hundred miles an hour. he’s panicking, blood pressure raised, heart thumping and throat clogged. oh, shit, did he do something wrong? did he upset you? is it ‘cause he said he’d protect you with no regards to the fact that you’re perfectly capable of fending yourself off against maki? fuck, he’s such a god damn screw-up, can’t even take care of his girlfriend correct-

“hey.”

your fingertips slide around his neck, hands interlocking at the base of his head. your thighs balance on his lap and you straddle him, legs either side of his.

he can’t help but hitch his breath, holding it in as though one wrong move and you would dematerialise.

“what’re you thinking about in that head of yours?”

whether you’re referencing his mini panic attack just now, or if you’re referring to all the multiple times he’s battled just bending you over and railing the absolute shit out of you, there’s not much room for debate when you brush your clothed sex up against the print of his dick.

yuuta snakes his slender hands around your throat, holding it in place. you can feel the arousal pool and wash over you, and you’d be more than surprised if you hadn’t soaked through your clothes.

he lets out a breathy laugh, devastating your stomach with butterflies due to how attractive he sounds. yuuta’s soft lips brush the shell of your ear and his other hand moves to rest on your waist,

“why don’t i show you?”

before you can utter a tease something along the lines of “show me what? how you’re too scared to hit me in bed?” you’re already down, flipped over and bent over the table you and yuuta were using moments prior ago for uno. the cards have splattered all over the wooden floor and you only hiss in discomfort as the cool surface scratches against your delicate skin. your boyfriend towers over you, leaning down as his torso clicks into place against your back. even through his titanium white jacket, you can feel his calm and collected heartbeat. he rests his head on your shoulder, nudging his face into you.

“don’t scream, okay? or, try not to, at least-“

his warm fingertips ghost over the curve of your ass, where he pinches the skin there before delivering a loud slap. you squeak, back arching as you jolt from the action. he proceeds by grabbing the inside of your thighs, long middle finger hoisting around your underwear and pulling it to the side. he makes note of the red lingerie you’re wearing and gives you a small chuckle, peppering a kiss to the side of your face.

“-unless, of course-“

“-you’d prefer everyone hear me fuck you stupid.”

“safe word’s blue, angel. i love you and thank you.”

truth be told, you were never sure what to expect from yuuta. hell, you’d never really seen the man’s dick before, sure you caught glimpses in the morning whenever he’d wake up but it’s really not the same. nothing in the world can compare to the first time you felt his piping hot tip brush up against your slicked cunt. and it was embarrassing, actually, the way your pussy was seething for him already.

with a firm hold on your tailbone, yuuta utilises his lower body strength to ram his dick all the way inside. there’s a garbled and choked moan that hisses from you when you feel your walls wrap and deform around the girth of yuuta’s dick. you whine even more so when you can physically feel a thick vein that decorates his shaft.

“the mirror.” yuuta commands in a low tone, redirecting you to glance at the same mirror you’d always fantasised about him fucking you in front of.

his eyes are half lidded, riddled with concentration. it reminds you of that feral and focused gaze he gets during serious battles.

“don’t look at me. look here.”

you trail the outline of yuuta’s arm veins as a result of him rolling his uniform sleeves up; following his v line that points towards his dick. you can only gawk in awe when you realise you’ve taken him to the base of his shaft.

his gaze locks with yours for a split second and he snaps his hips out until just about his tip is visible inside your cunt.

and shit, if his pretty pink cock isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, especially with that attractive curve. you’re sure the gesture is just to wind you up, but you can’t help but swoon at him showcasing his pride to you.

“so- mmhf- pretty-“ you whine, words jumbled and breath caught when he slams his dick inside without any prior warning. you can only shriek in exclamation when his tip bruises your cervix, and you’re unsure whether you lament the sensation or not.

he only gives you a cheerful hum, reminding you of his usual cheery disposition. it’s not until then that you realise how much of a fucking beast he’s acting right now.

“right? i’ll put it to good use, i promise.”

gojo

- i know we’re all thinking the same thing here lmfao

- trying to sleep? good for you, now, open your legs for satoru.

- oh you can’t sleep? atta girl, down on your knees for satoru.

- bye i can literally imagine gojo saying some dumbass shit like “think you were trying to sleep but i couldn’t help but think how good my dick would look down your throat like that. sorry, love, you’re not sleeping tonight.”

you blink your eyes in turn with the cicadas chirping aside, stifling a yawn. everything around you down to the very last detail screams at you to sleep, but you just cannot. from the pitch black night that floods the room obscurely, to gojo’s even and quiet breathing beside you. you’ve tried it all. you’ve counted an excess amount of sheep, you’ve tensed and relaxed your body more than you can remember. hell, no matter how many times you’ve flipped the pillow you always seemed to feel less exhausted each time.

you can’t watch netflix, because you’ve binged all your favourite shows. it’s not that you’d wake gojo up because, who cares? by the time you finish scrolling through the endless lists it’ll be time to get up.

you ponder over the things you can do, continuing to subconsciously blink furiously. that is until gojo makes note of your stupid actions and starts giggling like a high schooler at his first sleepover.

“what the hell are you doing?” he snorts, cackling into the pillow like it’s the best joke he’s heard for quite some time.

“shut up, satoru. i’m trying to sleep you ass.” you tut at him, berating him for ruining your divine concentration.

gojo audibly shifts onto his stomach, his right arm crosses over the back of his head as he lazily rests his palm onto his scalp. the other arm preoccupies itself by landing it smack bang onto your chest, fingers wandering up to cup your breast.

“satoru, huh? that’s daddy for ya” he remarks, still giggling in a state of half asleep.

“uh-huh. goodnight.” you dismiss him and his nonsense.

“just go take a shower. always helps me whenever i can’t sleep.”

“hm? you’re giving me actual good advice and being a normal boyfriend? i think i might be asleep already, this is the best dream ever.” you remark sarcastically, prying gojo’s glued wrist off of your breast and sitting up. you could go for a shower, actually. you’re not sure why but it’s always so therapeutic to take one at night rather than the morning.

“huuuh? how could you say that? you’re so mean, (y/n)-chaan! i offered you my love and the world and this is how you repay m-“

“-goodnight satoru. i love you.”

“don’t think professing your love for me will change my mind! i’m still upset at you right now, young lady!” gojo shouts from over his pillow, exclaiming and irritating you in the way he knows how to best.

“yeah, yeah. okay.” you mumble softly to yourself, bearing a wide grin from ear to ear nonetheless.

when you move to crank the water on in the shower, you realise that you didn’t bring along a change of clothes. you momentarily pop back into the bedroom to ransack the drawer for anything that you can find.

“are you back to apologise for being so mean to me?” gojo whines and you can see the pout evident on him even when it’s pitch black.

“no, i’m just here for clothes, satoru.”

you hear him mumble something but it’s muffled by the sheets he’s underneath so you don’t heed any attention to it and resume in taking a shower to help keep your insomnia at bay.

with a ginger step and a small ‘oopf’, you heave yourself into the large shower that only a headass like gojo would bother buying. it’s reminiscent to what a hot tub looks like on the inside, with surrounding jets practically in a full 360 degrees. the things so steep that there’s a small step up in front of the shower outside the actual structure. it must have cost quite the fortune.

you reach in for the built in shelf to grab ahold of some of your toiletries as you allow the water to fall in a gentle sprinkle, almost like rain. there’s an audible squeeze reminiscent to trying to get the last ounces of ketchup as you apply some body gel to your hands, lathering it up.

despite standing, the warmth of the water leads your muscles to feel less tense. the only noteworthy downside is that the running water is tremendously loud. how on earth is gojo sleeping through all that racket?

slender fingertips ghost over your inner thighs. you can feel his wet and sturdy chest in place against your spine.

“surprised to see me?”

“you know i can’t let my baby talk shit like that.”

really? that’s his issue at hand here?

“so which is it?”

“acting like an intolerant brat because you’re tired or ‘cause you wanna get dicked down?”

gojo loops his arm underneath your leg, bending it up. you almost topple over in the process and you lay one hand flat against the tile.

“don’t answer that. sometimes it’s so obvious that you’re such a whore for my dick.”

“huh?! what the shit are you saying?” you snap at how correct he is.

gojo yanks your face back, digging his fingers into your cheeks as he forces you to face him. it almost sends your neck into two pieces, straining to look back at him.

“oh, really princess? just the other day you were begging me to fuck you”

“remember that? couldn’t wait so you rode me in the car? you know, baby, all you gotta do is ask.”

your legs tremble and psyche wobbles when he pries your mouth open with his thumb, promptly before spitting into it.

“don’t bother with the bullshit. i’ll play the games, not you.”

he drags his hard cock against the curve of your ass, slapping it against you.

“i don’t think i feel like fuckin’ you right now.” gojo sneers, humming sardonically. his lips quickly latch onto yours when you spin around to meet his gaze. like the fucker he is, gojo moans and whines into the kiss- lips ravaging you whole and tongue capturing your essence.

“baby girl, i was gonna let you top me. you know i don’t let anyone do that.”

his long middle finger prods against your cunt, forcing itself in with ease.

“damn, you’re soaked. you really wanted to milk me dry that bad?”

you hate him. hate him so fucking bad. he flashes you that attractive smile of his, azure eyes sparkling and snow white hair disturbed with water.

gojo pulls his finger out before sucking onto it in front of you, lapping all the excess arousal off.

“i’m not playing with you tonight.”

toji

- i literally don’t even need to say anything here

- just be sure to make a hospital check up appointment or something

- um-i uh- please remember to breathe after this one? maybe touch some grass? ALSO my first time writing for toji AAA i hope he’s okay

maybe if you don’t breathe? nah, that wouldn’t work. there’s still air acting around your limbs when you move so you’d be disturbing the barriers there. let’s see… maybe bit by bit? surely if you slowly inched his shirt up? then again, wouldn’t toji chew you out halfway through? maybe you should just give it to him straight up? just slip your hand under his shirt. come on. but he looks so peaceful, sleeping like that.. long eyelashes fluttered closed, lips relaxed and not scowling. his eyebrows are softly arched. he looks so soft, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every breath.

fuck it. just do it. cuddle him already.

you muster up all your courage in one fell swoop and you bend one leg over toji, resting it just above his groin. your right arm sprawls out over his chest and your hand rests against his toned arm. he’s already sleeping with one arm bent up with his hand supporting the back of his head, so you utilise the free real estate to nestle your head in the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet.

when he doesn’t move after a while, you deem your life to be safe and exhale with ease.

“you’re not asleep.” toji states in a groggy, husky tone. it’s supposed to be a question, but, coming from him it almost sounds like a challenge.

“yes?” you squeak out meekly.

“‘yes?’ you asleep or not?”

“i can’t sleep again.” you murmur against his shirt and he exhales a small sigh. the arm that you’re clinging onto moves to draw small circles on your thigh that rests on toji.

“when’d you notice?” you inquire, glancing down at his large wrists.

“like five minutes ago. nice try, kid.” toji snorts indifferently, chuckling at your behaviour.

when you don’t make an effort to respond, toji’s interest peaks and he lets out a small hum of intrigue when he follows your gaze.

he turns his head, brushing his lips up against your temples.

“see anything interesting down there?”

“as a matter of fact-“

you nestle yourself in between toji’s large and built thighs, digits curling around the waistband of his boxers. he only smirks at you through the dark, cock twitching through the fabric. you notice toji hover his hips up so that you can slide his boxers off for him and you happily oblige.

“-i do.” you chime, licking your lips.

it’s cute, though, if you thought toji was gonna let you handle him like that all by yourself.

as you kiss a trail up his thick shaft, toji yanks ahold fistfuls of your hair before grabbing your face off of his cock.

“who said you could suck my dick? that’s real cute.”

“thinking you actually have a place in my house.”

“i didn’t train you to be such a depraved slut. know your fucking place, because this isn’t it.”

“how many times do i gotta tell you? you don’t belong here. look around. do you see anything that shows a woman lives here? no? that’s because you’re nothing but a fuck doll for me.”

toji hisses out profanities at the gag you spew when he slams your tiny little mouth back down on his dick.

“lose the teeth you imbecile. unless you’re trying to tell me that you can’t suck my dick properly.”

incessant whines and garbled sentences are muffled by toji’s cock. whatever remnants you had of your vision are nothing but a blur as tears stream your cheeks, nose running and sniffles resurface in a repeating pattern over the slick sounds of slurping and gagging. your mouth stretches as far as it can go and the corners of your lips shriek in despair. you can feel the skin there stretch and pull beyond what’s considered normal.

even through all that, you manage to glance up at toji through your water logged lashes. you’ll be a good girl for him. you need to be.

“fuuuck. that’s a pretty sight.” he grumbles and a deep chuckle resonates through his chest. within a few moments, toji fumbles to reach for something.

you can only wince and screw your eyes at the suddenly blinding flash of a light in front of you. one can only assume he’s taken a photo of you in your humiliating state.

you can feel the fear settle into your veins when that telltale ping of a message being sent vibrates throughout the room. if you were to listen hard enough, you could hear a notification go off in the next room over.

your throat feels raw, jaw tense and locked open. it’s been a good twenty minutes of toji face fucking you to teach you a valid lesson. it’s all in the will of him wanting to drag this on, savouring every miniscule slurp, whimper or gasp. when his strokes start to feel sloppier than usual, you can’t help but feel relieved.

as you squirm about due to toji shooting hot ropes of his thick cum down your throat, the door softly clicks open.

“megumi. you’re just in time.”

“she’s way more obedient than your mom ever used to be.”

[selinakidreams]

hello!! this is my first ever collab and man o man am I happy to be participating in @buttershouse ‘s Magic March with so many talented people!! Please go check out everyone’s work, there’s so many delicious pieces to choose from.

without further a-due, please enjoy this 7k word mash of a magic coffee shop/witch/ college au that I have goin here

pairing: Sero Hanta (with a FUCKIN UNDERCUT !) x gn!reader (afab)

warnings: she’s WHOLESOME, implied sexual themes throughout and then actual smut at the end !! , sex on aphrodisiacs

a/n: thank you so so so so so so so much to @keishinslove @hiddenbluee @spikesbimbo @scorpiomoonslutt and @dymphnasprose for reading and beta-ing this big boi- you guys helped me so much and 🥺🥺 you guys seriously mean the world to me.

tag list: @hiddenbluee​ @undersero @sawam0chi

“Double double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble,” you hum as you steep black tea before shifting to the other part of your station so you could add the guise of vanilla to the milk you were about to steam. 

You hear a snort come from your coworker as she looks over to you before smirking, “You think you’re so funny,” she teases while heating up a chocolate muffin for the current order. 

“I do, I really do,” you muse, holding the metal pitcher up to the espresso machine’s steam wand. The distinct smell of the liquid luck wafts around as you begin blending it in with the milk; it makes you smile, a comfortingly warm feeling washing over you. 

You always hoped people stepped into the shop hearing about the rumors and whole-heartedly believed them; believing in the magic that went into each drink when they ordered something off of the special menus- and that it wasn’t just for the unique taste. 

When you first started out, you often heard that with each new employee, the magical feeling tends to die out sooner or later; the happiness of creating spells and potions for others fleeting with the ever-growing pessimism towards all things unexplainable. After working at the shop for three years, one would think the feeling would have caught up to you, instead you felt anything but. With each new regular whose eyes sparkled with excitement as you handed them their unique concoction of a drink, your smile grew wider. Sometimes the familiar faces would come back and whisper about how each drink gave them the right energy to deal with each individual situation… almost like magic. You could do nothing but smile, sometimes a coy little wink was added, exciting the customer more and more. They'd leave with a newfound pep in their step. That's what has kept you going for so long. All anyone ever has to do was keep an open mind and believe that true magic does exist, and when you do, it's almost as though a door opens up, full of delightful possibilities.

As you called out the finished order and thanked the satisfied customer, the shop’s entrance bell chimed, welcoming in the newest one. 

You look up and made eye contact with someone who seemed oddly familiar; you tend to remember almost every person that has shown up more than twice at the cafe, so the fact that you can't fully recognize him only shows that the cafe couldn't have been where you’ve known him from... You couldn't quite put your finger on where you've seen him before but you definitely couldn't forget the welcoming aura he radiated. With his black hair pulled into a ponytail, exposing his undercut, and his extra large t-shirt hanging off of his lean frame, he flashed a bright smile, heading up to the counter to order.

Accustomed to ‘hey’s, ‘hi’s, or even an immediate order, the first thing out of his mouth somewhat surprised you. With a tilt of the head and a squint of the eyes, he mumbled out, “.. You look really familiar.” as he tried to place the face.  

“You know, I was thinking the same thing...” you trailed off. 

After a few seconds of analysis with no conclusion, he seemed to shrug and let out a little chuckle with a passive “it'll probably come to me in the middle of my next class…” before his eyes caught sight of the menus off to the side. Not wanting to make it too obvious that you were tempted to stare, you aimed your gaze elsewhere, only occasionally sneaking a glance at him while he was preoccupied with the menu.

“Ahh… can I get…” he kept his sights on all the options he could, as if it was going to make him any more decisive. Part of you hoped to hear something special, something magical, only to hear, “uhh a… hot latte please?”

While a very solid drink, you subconsciously waited to hear a flavor come after it; staring at him, almost in a daze. 

“Did I forget something...?” Your eyes grew wide, mind blank, trying to come up with an excuse for the elongated silence but before you could spout something out, his smile grew as he rolled his eyes, “Oh, duh, I forgot the size!” A breathy laugh came after his revelation and your chest  felt lighter once the sound hit your ears. “Could I get a large please?”

“Yeah, absolutely!” you chime as you grab a large paper cup and mark down his order with a sharpie.“Will that be all for you today?” looking back up at him, your customer service smile makes its awaited appearance like clockwork as it did when wrapping up every order. His eyes darted to the full pastry case before he could conclude, causing an actual smile to grace your lips, “Tempted?”

“One way or another, yea,” he said with an undertone of something else being implied, causing your cheeks to heat up. The smile that he threw in there further caused a little flutter of your heart.  

“Well luckily for you, we just restocked, so you've got a wide range of goodies to choose from.”

He licked his bottom lip and smoothly responded with, “Well which is your favorite?”

“My favorite? Hmm… Well, I always love a good chocolate croissant whenever I'm drinking regular lattes. The chocolate adds in that kick of sweetness that compliments the lack thereof with the coffee and bonus, it's not too heavy where it will make you feel bloated.`` 

“You really know how to sell a guy… That sounds amazing. Could I have that, please?” the tone in his voice was playful, fun, possibly flirty- and that was something that you were not going to think about. He’s a customer; he might not come back when he wants his next cup of coffee.

“You want me to warm it up for you?”

“Sure!”

Picking up the prongs, you took the freshest croissant from the batch and placed it in the microwave oven, turning back around. 

You voiced his total with a soft smile, “Cash or card?”

“Card. uh .. Can I leave a tip on here?” 

Cue the airy sigh that left your chest. A man who knows to leave a tip: you were in love with him already.

“Yea!” you squeak before clearing your throat, “Yea, once you remove your card, the option should pop up on the screen!”

You throw one more smile back at him before turning around to start his drink, not missing the incredibly hard stare your coworker was giving you. You try not to look at them throughout the duration of making his drink.

Handing the handsome man his order, your hands lightly brushed against his and you fought hard to ignore the hefty thump in your chest. You looked back up at him and swore that there was a tint of rose dusted across his cheeks. 

You saw the beginning of his outburst before you could hear it. 

“Sero!” he said quickly, “Sero Hanta. That’s my name.” 

You smiled, sticking out your hand and saying your name, “I’ll be sure to remember it… Sero.” 

The rest of the shift went by pretty quick after that. Your coworker couldn't keep their mouth shut about how he was flirting with you and how you just so happened to be flirting back. You two were giggling so much that the rest of the shift just seemed to slip away and before you know it, it was time to clock out.

“Is there anything you want me to do before I head out?” you shout, asking the newly present night shift as you’re halfway out the door. 

“No no, we got it,” both your coworkers chime, “just hurry up and get to class!” one of them adds. 

Rolling your eyes, you wave goodbye, double checking that everything needed for class was in your bag before fully lugging one of the straps onto your shoulder and heading off.

The walk wasn't that far from the shop, luckily- taking your time and enjoying the world around you was such a cooldown from the hustle and bustle of your work shifts. 

The college town was quaint, warm, homely; It felt like everywhere was a short walk away- which it was. There was an ample amount of time for you to stroll to class after one of your shifts.

As you peruse down the street, you took note of how bright it felt this time of day and how soft the glow emanating from the sunlight hitting the trees was; the kiss of the sun heated your skin, allowing you to bask in the warmth of everything: the environment, the vibe, the mood. What a great feeling. 

Random thoughts passed in and out of your brain as you got to the entrance of campus- but the continuous train of thought halted at the station when the image of that man who came into the shop, the one with the undercut- Sero Hanta, popped up.

He was really attractive… where had you seen him before?

You mindlessly head towards the lecture hall, with the image of Sero’s face ever present behind your eyelids. The approaching building was a beautiful brick with ivy climbing up the side, a framed golden plaque near the large double doors announced that people were about to enter the Mirai Sasaki building- something you would normally stop to admire but today, you headed straight inside and towards your seat, still mentally preoccupied. 

Plopping down, you situate yourself, getting everything out; your textbook, notebook, pens, pencils and even a highlighter. You take a deep breath before slightly shaking your mind to wake up and concentrate on the human sexuality lecture that was about to start. Sero Hanta can wait.

Is what you told yourself and yet, the thought of him wouldn't leave you alone. It went so far as even hearing the professor call out his name. 

“So, I just wanted to clarify,” your ears perk up at the voice, “The article you gave us was about how unequal the orgasm ratio- the orgasm gap- is for women… but I feel like there is a new wave of um… feminine orgasm appreciation. Not to get too personal, but I know between my friends and I, we make sure that our partners always come… first.” He trailed off at the last part, probably coming to terms with the awkward phrasing he had ended with. 

You had to take a second to get a grip; too many things were happening at once and the one that held most of your attention was the fact that Sero Hanta blatantly admitted to wanting the girl to orgasm first. 

What a gentleman.

“Thank you for your… input … mister Sero- but with what you pointed out, it’s actually a perfect segway into the first project of the semester! If you notice in your syllabus, I typed a very vague title for the next class’s date. We're going to talk about it more next class but until then, please read the assigned articles by the next class and have a good rest of your day!”

While the majority of the class was packed and headed to the door, your eyes stayed glued on Sero as you mindlessly put things away. It seemed as though he was taking his time as well. Maybe he needed to talk to the professor? 

Seeing that your desk was now cleared, you slowly began descending down the stairs to get to the floor level, eyes glued to each step in front of you, mind somewhere completely different until your head is met with a firm back. With wide eyes, you step back and begin a stream of apologies, head bowed and eyes still on the floor as if you didn’t learn your lesson the first time. A warm chuckle hushes you accompanied with a light, “It’s alright, it’s alright!”

You look back up and are met with the mind-dizzying smile of the man who failed to leave your thoughts alone. 

Before your eyes could get any bigger, he murmurs your name. “So this is where I know you from!” He slightly cheered, lopsided grin growing comfortable. 

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“Hey! Hey- you guys aren't closing are you?” You hear a panting voice rush through the door- the complete opposite of the energy the cafe currently held. You and your coworker were just winding down from your shift, cleaning and making sure everything was restocked for the next shift, soft music aiding the mood. 

Sero was attempting to collect himself when he realized the two pairs of stunned eyes staring at him. 

“I just- I wanted to walk with you to class. If that’s cool,” he said to you, flattening his shirt down, “and maybe get a coffee.”

Warmth fills your face as you try to suppress a smirk, “in that order?”

The already flustered college student blushed just a bit harder. Before he could come up with a response, your smirk eased into a soft smile, “okay Sero, what could I get you to drink?”

He steps further inside and orders the same thing he got the first time: a large hot latte. It doesn't take long until the drink is in his hand and you're shooing him off to a table, “I’ll be done in like 10 minutes, is that alright?” you ask, hints of your customer service mannerisms kicking in. He nods and you get back to cleaning, unaware that your movements became a bit swifter. 

After clocking out, you’re met with an eager grin and a glint of something unnameable in sero’s eyes. 

“The coffee was excellent, by the way. Both times I had it. Do you do something to it? I feel like it’s so much more than just a simple latte.” 

You smile at two things, him opening the door for you, and the fact that he was absolutely oblivious to the fact that his drink is one of the few drinks you don’t add any magical properties to. 

“I make it with kindness.” You say as you two start your walk, intertwining your hands behind you.

“So mister Hanta… have you been stalking me?” 

His eyes grow wide as his cheeks taint red, “N-no! I just thought that maybe you work every shift that’s before our class.”

“Hmmm… So were you going to come by every day to test out your theory if i wasn't there today?”

“Well, luckily you were there, so I guess we’ll never know the answer.”

After you hummed out a response, the walk turned into a comfortable type of silent.

The both of you had several things passing through your mind, but outwardly, one was caught up basking in the fresh spring air while the other was admiring how the wind would slightly shift your hair.

Deciding to break the silence, you turned to face him, “Hey, so, why did you choose to take human sexuality?”

He didn't seem surprised to hear the question but he took a moment; it didn't seem like he was scrambling to find the perfect answer, it was almost like he just couldn't properly find the words. 

“Honestly, I love intimacy. I think its really cool that not one person’s views on sex and sexuality and the miniscule details within it, are the same.”

While the words you were hearing made sense, it must have shown that you weren't prepared for such an insightful answer because he let out a hearty laugh that seemed to go on and on, even after he took a deep inhale. 

“I’m sorry-” he choked out as he grabbed his chest, “your face just-” he gulped another breath of air, trying to regain composure.

Throughout his fit of laughter, you almost joined in a few times if it weren’t for you biting your cheek in attempts to keep the annoyed facade up. 

As soon as it seemed like he got it all out, you try to pull a convincing pout. 

“So what's the real answer, then?”

He cocks his head at your question, a smile still playing on his lips, “whaddya mean?”

“You're telling me that what you said wasn't just to catch me off guard?”

“Oh! No no, that's really why I'm taking the class. But i bet you thought i was going to say something asshole-y like ‘i just wanna learn more about sex so i could be better’, hm?” he said the last part in a dopey voice before smirking back at you.

You rolled your eyes in return, “not necessarily, that was just a really… refreshing… answer.”

By the time you got to class, it seemed pretty full, which was a bit odd seeing as though there was still some time before the lecture started. Part of you was hoping that you could snag a seat next to Sero or he could snag a seat next to you- but both of your usual seats were surrounded by others already. There was also always the possibility that maybe he didn't want to sit next to you; you didn't want to get your hopes up so you turned to him, waved goodbye, and headed to your normal seat. Unbenounced to you, he physically slouched in disappointment before heading to his spot.

The lesson went on, and while he wasn't crowding your mind today, you subconsciously kept stealing glances at him throughout the lecture in hopes that one of the times you'll find him glancing back at you. The only time you did catch him staring at you was with wide eyes when the professor announced that you two were going to be partners for the upcoming project.

“So I guess this means it's an appropriate time to ask for your number… I wanted to ask you for it but I didn't want to move too fast…?” he said as you two approached eachother after class, cracking a shy smile while he absentmindedly scratched the back of his neck, a subltle flex of his muscles on display. It was a bit hard to concentrate with a combo move like that attacking you, as if he was going in for the kill. 

“I wouldn't have thought it was too fast.” you softly counter, flashing him a tender smile.

It was one thing to feel the heat go to your face, it's another to visibly see it appear on his.

You both traded phones at the same time with the promise to text each other later that night; you put a little coffee emoji by his name while he put the sun next to yours.

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Sitting at the furthest table away from the register, you start to unpack your laptop and make yourself comfortable- you're gonna be here a while. Powering up the device, Hanta pulls at the seat across from you and begins to mimic your movements. 

“So you want our first project meeting… at a coffee shop?” you start, trying to keep the smile from coming onto your face. Looking up at him would mean automatic defeat seeing as it's getting harder and harder for you to look at him without your lips twitching upward.

“I thought it would be very symbolic.”

A snort greeted both of your guy’s ears as your eyes went wide and your hands shot up to cover your mouth. “Anyway, so the project.”  Blushing around him was starting to become a regular occurrence, as well.

“Right,” he says clapping his hands and rubbing them together.

“So the project is to point out common sexual misconceptions and back it up with statistics and research articles. The fact that we got dibs on the misconception of the orgasm gap all because you had bragged about your personal sex life…” the thought alone shot a wave of warmth down your spine and right to your lower region. A flash of a Sero you hadn’t faced yet appeared in your imagination; him looking up at you, hungry and eager to please. It made your breath hitch. 

“Well, yea! I had to voice it. I mean, I feel like it’s common sense! When you have sex by yourself, then you can focus on what makes you feel good and what makes you cum. But when you’re with a partner…” he trailed off and your gaze snapped to him, “you should make sure they cum at least once before doing… whatever you two.. had.. planned on… doing.” Sero finished, his eyes flickered between your eyes and lips. 

Oh fuck. 

You felt yourself throb. 

“Y-yea! Uh I completely a-agree.” 

It’s almost as though he could tell that you were flustered so just to top it off, he smirked, “Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.” before deciding to drop it and move on.

He took a sip of his drink and sighed, “You guys really do make the best coffee. I got the same thing as I did with your place and yet… I'm here longing for your coffee.” you snort once again.

After that, the conversation eased into the project and what exactly needed to be done; the assignment was very simple but sorting out what dates you guys were going to meet up and how exactly you were going to go about gathering the information was all crucial. The project was due in a month and needed to be submitted in powerpoint format- which the both of you were relieved about.

It was really cute seeing Hanta’s eyes all lit up when it came to the part of how you two were going to go about getting all the information needed. He even suggested to conduct a little side research if you guys were ahead of schedule. It was something that made your heart patter. It was almost like you had smelt some of the charmed rose petals from work because every time you looked at him, you couldn't stop the warmth that flooded in your chest.

With that thought, there was the fact that he was more than likely going to be spending large amounts of time at the cafe- would he notice? Should you just come straight out and explain it? Explain that you were considered a witch, someone who was open-minded and was in tune with their intuition and can work with certain herbs, charms, and spells to create wonderful things? It didn't seem that big of a deal to you, it was something you had grown up with; simple spells and practices that just made day to day life more simple. Not every witch has been through the same childhood you had, there’s no special school- not that you were aware of, anyway. Your parents kept their grimoire out in the open and let you frolic about as they eased basic wholesome rituals into your life, and when you got old enough, they let you take in chapter by chapter each spell they casted, each potion they brewed. 

When you applied at the cafe, your first interview was full of normal questions worded in a way that almost sounded like it had a double meaning, thankfully you caught it and later was asked for a second interview- conducted by the boss himself. He had asked you to perform a basic potion/drink you grew up with, something that made you feel like you were walking on air. It was simple; a butterfly pea tea with a breath of life, with just a little bit of lemon activated the spell in the brew. When the well made drink hit his tongue, he offered you the job not a second later.

No. You wouldn't tell Sero yet. It never came up; It’d be odd to tell him straight off the bat- there's really no need. If he ever asks… then you’ll tell him.

But he hadn't so far.

Each meeting so far felt incredibly productive. It seemed like getting work done came naturally, with the topic being easy to discuss between the two of you and getting the articles to support your claim was fairly simple- apparently a lot of studies have been done about people’s orgasms. 

Since drafting up a skeleton outline the first time meeting, the bits and pieces really started coming together, but the get-togethers sometimes didn't go as planned- however, what was a constant was that no matter what the meet-up consisted of, there would always be a paper cup from your work, filled with a hot latte.

Some of the days, rather than working on the project, the two of you would use the allotted time to sit in your cafe and goof off, or sometimes you would host “tea time” in your apartment and talk about anything and everything- and it was okay because very early on, you both gathered all the adequate articles that involved your topic and sifted through them to get the statistics you needed. Collecting the data was simple enough and putting it together just came easy to you. 

Looking up from your laptop, finally done with sorting all the cited sources in each slide, you wave your hand at Sero to get his attention. Hanta was working on phrasing the facts and statistics from each work, so when he tilted his head up, gaze still on the screen until he finished typing the last sentence, he took his headphones out and hummed as he looked at you. 

“You get the same thing everytime we’re together… why?” 

He glanced at his almost empty cup before fully taking out his headphones, “I get it all the time because it really is the best latte I've ever gotten from a cafe before. I tell you this all the time.” 

“You never… wanna try anything new?”

“Is there something in particular you want me to try?” he asks, quirking his eyebrow upwards.

“Well no, not necessarily…”

“Well then how about you give me a recommendation? What’s a drink you think I would love?” 

This one stumped you for a minute. Though the thought had crossed your mind quite often, you couldn't quite pinpoint which special drink he’d appreciate the most. Something warm… something reflecting how you feel about him.

“I think that you should get the Time Flies; it's this black tea latte with orange zest and it's really… cozy.”

“Okay, I'll try it the next time I go.” 

And he did. The first sip he took felt like smooth gold hitting his tongue. So warm and rich that it had apparently induced the vivid image of the sunset from his grandmother’s porch. He was remembering the orange glow of everything the light touched. The whole day, he was feeling incredibly nostalgic, he even did some of the things he used to do when he was a kid, like watch old black and white movies and make dinner with his mom (even if it was through a phone call).

He told you all of this with one of the most handsome smiles you've ever seen, and that's saying a lot.

˚✧₊⁎⁺˳✧༚16 oz Love Me or Love Me Not with oat milk, hot; our very own pink rose syrup (enchanted candied petals inside and dried petals on top) steamed in the milk meets a double shot of espresso for a deep, sweet, cozy drink˚✧₊⁎⁺˳✧༚

 “So,” you start once everything is situated on your living room table, the two floor pillows that play hosts to your guy’s lower halves sit diagonal from each other.

“So.”

“Everything is practically done, I just wanted to… call this meeting so we could just quickly skim over it and see if there was anything in the powerpoint that needed fixing and or adjusting.”

“Very reasonable reason to call this meeting but both of us have been looking at this practically nonstop… so I’m pretty sure it's good.”

“Well it’s due next class and I know we finished it up a few a couple of days ago but… there is absolutely nothing wrong with striving for perfection. And if anything, I’m trying to save your reputation.” he choked at the accusation you were attempting to make, “Oh yea! How are you going to get away with making that bold statement in front of the class, do a whole project on it, and then just… have it not be anything short of jaw dropping?” you didn't even wait for him to speak, “exactly. Your rep is on the line, I'm just the sorry person who got stuck with you.” You smirk, driving your ludacris point home while crossing your arms over your chest. 

Scoffing, he leaned over and lightly shoved you, “we got to choose are partners for this project! You chose to be with me!” his cry caused a chuckle to fall from your mouth as you readjusted yourself onto your pillow, “that's neither here nor there.” you try your best snotty act as you stick your nose up in the air.

“Okay okay then, your grace, let us go over the powerpoint,” he jested along and gave you a slight bow.

After a quick runthrough, everything seemed spick and span, so the two of you became more relaxed and sunk into the larger floor pillows once again. 

“So… I noticed that you finally got something from your shop.” Sero gestured over to the other paper cup on the table. “I have never seen you with your own coffee before, why today?”

Your cheeks involuntarily began to heat up; the drink he was referring to was none other than the Love Me or Love Me Not. Usually, you never went out of your way to make it, but for the occasion, it was necessary. It was the last time you guys were going to meet up for the project and you just… had to know. 

Let it be known, messing with love potions wasn’t your forte, you preferred for everything romantic to be consensual and untampered with- that's why this brew in particular was one that you preferred out of all the ones that are out there. When made correctly, the person drinking it should be able to look at their crush (in person) and if the crush liked them back, then the drinker would get a fierce wave of goosebumps; if the person did not like them romantically, their head world ache for just a few minutes before going back to normal. Simple and effective, plus no one gets roughed up or drugged.

Not a single sip had been taken yet, you were on edge about the situation. This was the first time you had ever made it for yourself, and it was pretty nerve wracking to see if this man who you began harboring feelings for liked you the same. 

It’s surely gone cold by now but that wasn’t going to stop you. “Oh! Uh- I was just really craving this drink today.” You say lamely before bringing the cup to your lips and taking a gulp. 

The smell of rose hit your nose before you could register the taste. The evenly sweet syrup paired with the strong espresso danced on your tongue before you swallowed it. You softly sighed, it tasted delicious. Another sip slipped past your lips. 

A roll of relief cascaded through you when an intense wave of goosebumps rose on your poked at your skin, causing you to cough and sputter. Eyes going wide and squeezing shut as the coughs wracked through your body. 

He likes you.

While coming down from your fit, you semi glance at Hanta who had almost instantly appeared by your side, patting and gently rubbing your back. 

“Is there liquor in that?” He joked as he handed you your drink so you could have more liquid to ease your throat.

You shook your head after drinking some more and cracking a grin. It might’ve been too big of a smile for someone who just choked but you didn’t care. Sero Hanta… likes you. 

Unable to help it, you glance down at his lips only to realize how close he is. Your grin slowly drops, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Can I uh.. can I try your drink?” He says, face red with blush. 

As you go to hand him your drink, he leans in and cups your jaw- causing your whole body to still, even your heart stopped to join the languor.

 He peaks his tongue out to softly lap up a drop that must have been on your lip, before capturing your lips with his. 

It felt like your mind shut down, and all you can feel is how soft his lips are and how sweetly he’s kissing you. Almost hesitantly. 

He pulls away in attempts to find your gaze to decipher how you felt about it. 

Your breath is ragged as you look back at him- everything and nothing is going on in your head in that moment, unable to speak, until you see the goosebumps that coat his body. 

Your heart thumps impossibly faster as you realize that not only does he like you… but he truly believes. He believes in the two of you, he believes in love, and he believes in magic. 

Without another second to waste, you tackle him in a hug and find your lips on his in a way that you know you’ll never get enough of. 

special extra ! : you and Hanta in the fall- Season of the Witch with almond milk, hot; dirty chai latte with a bewitched cinnamon stick to help keep you warm ;) , even on the coldest of days ˚✧₊⁎⁺˳✧༚

The cold nips at your nose just as big hands nip at your waist, causing you to let out a noise between a squeak and a gasp. A flash of soft black hair blurred your vision before cold lips meet yours. “Hanta,” you sigh into the kiss before pulling away and giggling. 

You were heading back to your apartment after a day shift at work, the sky already becoming darker because of the autumnal equinox. 

“What are you doing? I thought I was gonna meet you at my place.” You say as your fingers intertwined and your step fell into pace with his. He pulled you closer so that you were basically leaning into him as you walked.

“You know those chocolate and pumpkin scones you baked for me? The special ones?” He quietly moaned. 

Your eyes go wide as he purposely guided your intertwined hands over his blatant bulge.

“Hanta you weren’t supposed to eat those until later, the spell usually kicks in within the next 30 minutes!” You giggle again. 

A few weeks after you two started officially dating, you formally sat him down and explained everything you didn't when talking about your guys’ past- the memories of frolicking through tall grass and talking to your mother’s familiar, to getting your job at the cafe. He told you that it was a lot to take in, but never did he push you away. When he went to the cafe, he was more observant. Somewhere in the months between June and July, he slowly became more and more interested in the rituals you would do and the potions you would make. He wanted to start joining in. Now in October, he loves seeing your crystals around your house and all the different herbs you grow in the sills of your window. When he found out that you could bake magical pastries with certain herbs, he almost immediately asked you to bake him some. At first, it started as something simple like a sage and rosemary savory loaf that helped cleanse your pallet of any negative energy. Then it started becoming more and more intricate, and that's how the two of you ended up here.

 “I know but fuck-- I was hungry and they looked so good, and now I’m hard and I need you.” he spoke lowly. 

This was going to be fun. 

The rest of the way, you were casually asking him things that shouldn't be heard in a public setting, “What is it you want to taste first, Hanta?”

“How badly do you want to fuck me into the mattress? Hm? Have your big cock stretch me out?”

“Wanna fill me up?”

By the time you both got to your apartment, there was no fumbling with the keys to get your door to open, you already had them out; getting through the door took three seconds tops. Next thing you know, your back was against the closest wall, your hands pulling at his tied up hair and scraping your nails against his scalp when the soft locks fell. One of his big hands lifted up a leg of yours and he groaned as he thrust upward against your heat.

“Fuck-” he panted into the kiss before trailing down your neck, still holding up one leg while the other hand finds itself under your shirt, his fingers hot to the touch. 

Releasing your leg and dropping to his knees, he looked up at you as he fumbled with the button of your pants. You lace your fingers in his hair, feeling him yank the material down your legs, tossing the one leg over your less dominant leg over your shoulder, and when a warm muscle hits your sopping clothed core, you pull his hair harder to apply more pressure.

“Look at me when I have you in my mouth, I wanna see how much you enjoy this.” 

You felt yourself clench, and apparently so did he, because a smirk grew on his lips. “Oh, you like when I say things like that?”

“H-hanta, please.. '' your voice wavered before you sucked in a sharp gasp. He had a finger, then two inside of you in no time, the other hand keeping the underwear out of the way so his lips could wrap around your clit.

He was pumping in and out of you faster and faster, occasionally switching the pace to unbearably slow and when you would whine, he’d tilt his head up, mid lick, to throw you a teasing glance before picking up the pace. He bagan curling his fingers, hitting a spot that had your eyes rolling and with the pressure building up, it had you panting out a breathy repetitive stream of his name. 

“‘M gonna cum Hanta, hh-” you moaned out before clenching your eyes shut, your body involuntarily shaking above him. And right below you, he was ready to lick up everything you had to offer.

Holding you steady as he came up to kiss you, your juices still on his lips, “you ready for me, sweetheart?” he asked when he pulled away. The short sobering moment hit as soon as he scooped you up and carried you to the bedroom, but after he tossed you onto the bed, the look he gave you as he was unbuttoning his pants drew your mind hazy again.

“Can't wait to pump you full of my cum, to have you a drooling mess because of my cock.” he huskily whispered, giving you so many delicious previews of how the night will go. “You want that, pretty? Use your words.” he said as he crawled over to you and caged you in. The scent of cedar wood and citrus clouded your senses.

“Yes please Hanta!” you whine, “wanna feel stuffed b’cause of your cum. Please fill me up--” you whimper out, cutting yourself off when you felt his leaky tip at your wet entrance. 

Just like each time you two have been intimate, he guides himself slowly until he's in to the hilt of his pelvis, “shit, squeezing me so hard- c-an i move?” he moans out. 

Unable to form coherent sentences, you frantically nod and squeak out, “yes!”

With your permission granted, he eases in a thrust before he starts snapping his hips into you.

“Fuck, look at you, milking my cock so good-” he moaned, as he leaned in and kissed you. Each sharp thrust jolted you upwards, proving just how powerful his thrusts were. You threw your arms around his neck for the slight stability.

You began to let out little moans into the kiss that spurr him further; everything was beginning to get to him. How tight you felt around him, the feel of your tongue against his, the sloppy wet noises of your cunt.

“I’m gonna cum-- i'm gonna cum!” he choked out. 

You clawed at his back while whimpering pleas for him to fill you up, “fill me up with your cum, your cock fills me so good, please Hanta, more- more!”

You were clenching around him hard, and to bring you right to his level, he found your puffy clit and began a quick circular motion that made your jaw go slack, causing more frequent clenches.

His mind blurred as he pushed himself the deepest he could, moaning out your name and a gruff curse before emptying himself into you. 

You felt him twitch inside of you right before hot seed coated your already warm walls, and that’s what pushed you into a convulsion of ecstasy. 

He lazily humped his hips into you as you rode out your high before pulling out and rolling next to you.

Calling out your name to bring your attention to him, he pulls you into his chest where you could feel his racing heart, “what if… I started singing that song from hocus pocus? You know the one..” 

What a goof, you thought to yourself, playfully smacking his chest as you roll your eyes, looking up at him. 

“I put a spell on you… and now you're mine…” you begin to whisper, earning a hearty laugh from you boyfriend.

Maybe it was mutual, but quite possibly he had put a spell on you. And you were more than okay with it.

[deluluass]

all yours; all mine

71 and 58 with Atsumu pleaseeese. I just love this man and I would appreciate it if you wrote something with him. Youre so talented!💕 — anon

sidenote: anon, i hope u know that u have a very special place in my heart for being the first ask ive ever received. i hope u are well & having a gr8 day ;U;

Content warnings: rape/noncon; nsfw; daddy kink; mild angst; implied post-breakup depression; toxic relationship/s

Breakups are a messy business. A lot of crying, begging, screaming (if it's that type of a breakup). Whatever it is, breakups generally inspire intense— so-intense-it-could-get-you-kicked-out-if-you're-in-a-public-place, high-strung, and the most unpleasant kind of emotions. 

It’s understandable, considering you’re losing the person you love. 

But he doesn't even look upset.

"Aah," Atsumu sing-songed, twirling the plastic stirrer between his fingers. "Ya wanna call it off?"

The heat from the mug bit your skin as you gripped it. 

"What?" you choked, shaking your head. "I didn't say that, Atsumu. I only-"

He scoffed. "Fuckin'- ya just did."

You finally looked up at him, porcelain clinking as you placed your drink back on the saucer. Ball cap on,  muscles filling up and straining his hoodie and jeans; even in an outfit that almost concealed him he never fails to take your breath away. 

Only, it's for a different reason this time.

"I said that I-" you cleared your throat. "I want- I want you to-"

"I get it, I get it." Atsumu sighed, waving his hand nonchalantly. "Let's break up, then."

He was already standing up and he didn't even deign to meet your eyes. You didn't expect much when you'd travelled all the way to Tokyo just to have a talk with him. After all, the last conversation you had was over the phone. (And that, too, did not go well). 

Though, is it too much to expect he'd at least listen to what you have to say?

"Tsumu-kun! Wait!" 

Some customers were already staring, urging you to hide, hop on the next train, and run back home; away from the cold scrutiny of strangers. 

But not now. Not when what you have with him is hanging on a balance.

"Please, sit down and- and let's talk," you huffed, voice and hand trembling as you held onto his.

Breakups are a messy business, you heard.

A lot of crying. A lot of begging. A lot of screaming. Whichever kind it is, don't breakups usually inspire only the most intense emotions?

But he doesn't even look upset, doesn't even look like he feels anything other than a passing irritation, as if you were a fly buzzing in his ear, when he told you, "I know this is ya first rodeo, but yer gonna find someone new eventually, hm?"

It's been a long time coming, Atsumu thinks. He'd known for quite a while now that his relationship with you would end, actually, ever since you'd wanted to include "feelings" and "trust" and "opening up" into the mix. 

"Why?" he'd laughed at your face once. "What? Ya ain't happy? That it? We got somethin' good goin' on don't we?"

He didn't get it, at first. You'd always been your cheerful, bubbly self; never failing to be that one sunny spot when his day gets too pesky and such a pain in the ass. You were happy.

Until you weren't. 

"You don't.. tell me things," you muttered, fiddling with your hands on the kitchen table. "Which is fine! I'm not- go at your pace, but- but know that I'd listen to you. Always. I'm here, 'Tsumu."

And it wasn't as if he didn't try. It's just that Atsumu realized, a few months later, that he wasn't any good at it. 

Every time he'd lay it all out in front of you⁠— every tiny and pathetic and gritty part of him, you would eventually take him in your arms. So much smaller, weaker than his and yet Atsumu did not mind if it could be his entire world. 

Then, a thought would creep in, like a thief that'd stab him in his sleep. In the safety of those tender arms, with those guileless eyes peering at him, Atsumu would think that he'd rather stay there forever, cling onto you until he bites the dust.  

It disgusted him. 

Atsumu couldn't stand it. Because if he could be anything in this short life, he'd choose to be perfect. And that- that wasn't it. 

So he avoided it when the occasion arose. Diverting the subject to mundane stuff was easy, at first. The weather, the new show you're binging, your slacker of a boss, what happened back in the game. When that didn't work⁠— well, there were other ways. 

(His favorite was sticking his tongue in your wet cunt, to prod at the soft walls with the tip, and to lap and suck at the clit until you're begging for the stretch of his fat cock.)

The break up was understandable. When you'd greeted him in the café as if you'd spent the entire time you were apart crying, Atsumu knew it was over. 

You just repeated what you'd always said. It's okay to be vulnerable. If he needs some time to work out the right words then you'd always wait because I love you, 'Tsumu. 

(But there was that feeling again. Like he could die on the spot if you would so much as leave his sight.)

(Ending it was the only way out. When poison seeps itself into the bloodstream, you're left with no choice but to cut off a part of you.)

Unlike others, he can say that it was a clean parting. You wanted something and he was bad at it. And because he hated fucking up, Atsumu decided to leave. Easy. 

Really, the only people who didn't understand were his teammates.

"That's strange," Hinata spat, rice bursting to his chin when he suddenly faced Atsumu. "I don't think I've seen her for weeks now."

He could hear barely suppressed groans  behind him, no doubt from Bokuto and the others, before their spiker blurted out a confused, "What?"

Because, of course, Hinata could only mean one "her.” (There had only ever been one that Atsumu Miya allowed inside the team's gymnasium; inside his circle of friends; inside his life.)

Apparently, except for Hinata Shoyo, everyone had caught on that the both of you had thrown in the towel, so to speak. (And here they thought the guy's finally in it for real.)

"Nah, it's fine," Atsumu smirked, addressing it to everyone gathered around Samu's onigiri stand.  

"We broke up." 

He clicked his tongue. "It's not like there ain't no other fish in the sea."

The remark, casually said in between sips of cold coffee, was met with a gaping silence. 

That turned out to be right, like everything else that he'd predicted. 

A hole is a hole is a hole is a hole. No disrespect meant to you. But before you there had been many others who'd helped warm his bed. It just so happened that you got to stay for far longer. 

(Because waking up next to you meant waking up to that dreamy look, as if whoever's in charge up there has finally given you everything you've ever wanted.)

(And when he greets you with a hoarse good morning you say it back with eyes that tell him he's worth it, simply for being there.)

Anyway, going back to that old routine hadn't been difficult. 

(Except when he finally does it with someone new, for some reason he keeps searching for a different touch, expecting that endearing combination of inexperience and enthusiasm.)

(And when they cum he can't help but put a hand on their mouth, around their throat, because he's hearing the wrong voice, seeing the wrong face.) 

It's obvious, looking at him. Everyone can see that life's going pretty well for Atsumu. He can only hope that the same goes for you.

"You're miserable."

Peeling your attention away from the mother braiding her young daughter's hair, you hurriedly brought it back to the two women sitting in front of you.

"See?" Aya swung her hand in your direction. "Not even listening."

"No, no," you giggled sheepishly. Kaori was already pursing her lips.

"No, seriously. I am."

You sat upright, setting the chopsticks on your bento box. 

"Then what was it she said?" Kaori pressed. She folded her arms and you knew you were in trouble. 

"Uh..huh." You nodded. "Right. So. Um...."

"You didn't catch it," said Kaori.

"I didn't catch it," you winced.

Both girls sighed. 

The first three buttons of their blouses were open, the heat of the afternoon getting to them. And as they leaned back against the wooden bench, you had a feeling that they were about to give you the Conversation that's been waiting to happen for two long months.

That's why you'd decided to start it before they could. Just so it won't linger anymore painfully so.

“I know what you're going to say."

They only raised their brows, a mere "okay, go on" than an actual expression of surprise. 

"I've been sad. I haven't been..fine. That is true," you inhaled, preparing yourself for the agonizing part. Then, you released your breath.

"Ever since..'Tsu-" you gulped. "Ever since breaking up with Atsumu I haven't been feeling like myself but nowadays I'm getting back on my feet and I'm still working see so really there's no need to worry okay? Okay."

Aya grinned, but it didn't hold her usual devil-may-care humor to it. 

"You say that," she started, "but we’ll probably always be if you keep at that- at that⁠—"

"You're rarely in the moment," Kaori supplied, to which Aya replied with a harsh thank you. "You're distracted. And we know you're trying your best to be okay on your own. We've given you space, but remember that you have us."

Something was lodged in your chest and you found it hard to breathe. You'd missed them. You hadn't realized it, but you missed your friends. 

So much.

"Thank you," you whispered, forcing back  tears. "I- I wouldn't know what to do if it not for you two-"

"Hold it." Aya raised a palm. "Before you get corny again. Can I just say, I know he's your first dick-"

"Aya," Kaori murmured.

"And we all know it was good-"

"Aya," you hissed.

Your face burned as you searched from left to right, making sure no innocent being heard her.

"But can I just say," she slapped a palm on the surface of the table. "I don't care what you or the TV or his fans say about him! But the man's a walking red flag since day one!"

Kaori rolled her eyes. And despite yourself you couldn't keep a chuckle from bubbling. 

"Here we go again."

Aya almost rose from her seat. "When he sent that poor dude from accounting to the ER for just, I don't know, breathing your way, I knew something was up!"

You felt your smile die. 

That had been the first time it happened. You'd asked him what's wrong, after you'd rushed to the hospital, and all he gave you was silence. A whole day of it. He hadn't spoken a word about it, only that he'd warned you not to talk to that bastard again, or else.

(You'd learned, much, much later, that he doesn't do well with people that annoy him. That's what he said. You wanted to know more, but he suddenly decided that he had to make it up to you between the sheets.)

Kaori touched your hand. "Talk to us," she whispered.

You hummed as you shook your head. "I just remembered him," you said, only half of the truth.

If they knew it, they didn't let on. But Aya did say, "Tell you what. Company outing's upon us. So you know what that means?"

"Oh, I don't know," you mumbled apologetically. "I might sit this one out."

"No," Kaori gritted. 

Aya held your face with both hands as she  stared you down.

"You will buy yourself a new swimsuit. You will enjoy that cheap beach resort." 

The heaviness was lifting, bit by bit, as you felt your stomach ache with laughter. And with each silly word uttered by your friends, you could almost see the gray clouds overhead disappearing. Even for a little while.

"And you, you beautiful person you," Aya beamed. "Will finally, finally get laid."

Having best friends who are dead set on helping you get over an ex is a fearsome thing to behold, indeed. 

You couldn't even get a word in edgewise as they took you in a whirlwind of spas, salons, mani-pedis, and shopping bags. 

"Calm down. You rarely spend for yourself," Kaori told you when she'd caught you peeking forlornly at the frightening bill you'd amassed. 

But, try as you might to miss owning a fat wallet, you couldn't deny that you have no regrets wasting your money away. Not even for a single cent. Because you did feel amazing.

And when the day arrived, you couldn't help at the giddiness of having compliment after compliment thrown your way. 

"Is that really you?" said a co-worker when you'd boarded the bus. "You're glowing!"

During the games, as well, you'd often hear "Love the new look!" and "Have I ever told you before that you're so pretty? Because you are." And you'd preen with a soft-spoken thank you, having been taught by Kaori that denying a compliment makes one look stupid.  

It was so silly, honestly. Though not the part where, after a lovely comment, you'd be emboldened to strike an actual conversation. Learning that a coworker has a new baby now, or that so and so has recently moved up the corporate ladder; learning that, during your period of grief and self-pity (and even during the blissful time you’d spent with Atsumu), there were so many things you hadn't noticed.

You basked in it: the shower of pleasantries and anecdotes that had you feeling soft and fuzzy inside. The same way you lazed on the sandbar, clutching tiny conch shells in your hand, as you watched the sun tinge the sparkling waves with warm light.   

"Hey."

You jolted, turning towards the person who'd called your name. It was him. "Poor dude from accounting" as Aya dubbed him.

"Sano-san," you gasped, reaching for the towel beside you to cover up. "How- how are you?" 

Of all the people in your office, he was the last one you wanted to see. Solely for the reason that things have been awkward between you ever since that incident. A working relationship characterized by the literal turning of the other cheek whenever you two bumped into each other.

"Oh, pardon me," he scratched the back of his head. "Do you..want me to go?"

Yes. 

"No..!" you blurted out. "I think-"

The sun was almost setting. You wrapped the towel around you as you took in the balmy sea breeze. 

"I think I'm done hiding," you whispered, meeting his gaze for the first time in a long while, head on and baring the tiniest hint of shame, like how you did with your friends and other coworkers.

He didn't say anything, allowing you to continue. "I- It's nice. Talking to people again," you giggled. "Look, Sano-san. About before, I'm really sor-"

"Actually," he smiled. "That's why I'm here. Well, my partner pushed me but-"

You grinned at the blush that rose to his cheeks. 

"But I wanted to tell you: No hard feelings."

Sano-san extended a hand. You stared at it for a few seconds. His hand, then his face. Back to his hand, then his face again. And when you'd finally accepted it, it felt like witnessing the cage that’s imprisoned you for centuries finally open.

"By the way," he added, walking back towards an obviously amused fianceé. "It's a good look on you, being happy."

Atsumu entertained the possibility that maybe— just maybe, not everything was  fine the night the Jackals went home after an overseas tournament.

As soon as the plane landed on Japanese soil, the hunger he felt throughout the journey morphed into some kind of  anticipation, palpable through the thrill that electrified him into wakefulness. He might have left in a hurry, only half of his mind present when the Coach ordered for a short meeting. 

His foot tapped endlessly on the way⁠— while in the car; during the tedious elevator ride⁠— and when he'd finally entered his pad, slamming the door open with much eagerness than usual, Atsumu felt his heart plummet down his stomach when he was welcomed by a dark and empty hallway. 

You're not here. Not anymore.

Hasn't it been almost half a year now? Why did he expect you, face brightened by a grin that went from ear to ear, to materialize in front of him, with the smell of something delicious wafting from the kitchen? As if a magician with a hat trick.   

("Welcome back!" he was aching to hear.)

(You always insisted on eating with him when he got home; sometimes opting to just stay by his side⁠— munching on a midnight snack while you babbled on, if he arrived later than usual and you'd already had dinner.)

("It's lonely having a meal on your own," you explained. "Don't you think food tastes better if you have someone with you?")

Perhaps it was the jet lag. Or, it could be that the abrupt change in time zones was starting to mess with his head. Either way, Atsumu was sure that sleep would eventually cure him of the momentary delirium. 

But then he woke up the next day feeling like someone had pissed in his morning drink. The day after that, too. Even the next had been the same, persisting onto the following weeks. 

Until one game, after a winning streak that had the crowd chanting their names and with blood still roaring in his veins, he condescended to survey the numerous people occupying the bleachers. 

And when he couldn't find one⁠— one person that had always stood out to him despite being constantly drowned in an ocean of spectators— it was only then that Atsumu Miya decided that enough was enough. 

You hadn't really agreed with Aya when she told you that you'd be getting "laid" during this short vacation. 

Reason number one: it's a company outing. And you're sure you'd be breaking some protocols by fooling around with any of your coworkers. Reason Two: as you'd sagely imparted to a miffed Aya, "I don't think it's nice to cure a broken heart with sex; strings attached or no."

That being said, the lingerie she'd chosen for you did flatter your figure. It didn't matter that "no one would see it," as Aya grumbled. It was enough for you that you yourself saw it, you thought as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror. 

The way it was tailored made it seem like it was made just for your body. The details of lace also made it look so pretty that you felt kind of sad that you'd have to cover it up with a summer dress soon. 

Nevertheless, you allowed yourself to strike a few poses in front of the mirror; feeling like a teenager on their first date as you admired how you looked in it. 

You smiled to yourself, humming a tune, before you opened your makeup kit and prepared the necessities you'd be bringing for the bonfire dinner. 

"Wipes: check," you murmured, rummaging through your bag. "Hygiene stuff. Where are you hygiene stuff, hygiene stu⁠—"

You froze.

Something rustled. Outside. As if something had moved. 

Putting a robe back on, your heart thundered against your chest as you stepped out of the bathroom and into the dimly lit sleeping area, illuminated only by a small reading lamp.

"Be careful there, girlie," the old caretaker warned as she guided you to this room. "Lots of mean spirits lurking about."

You didn't believe in ghosts. For some reason, however, your coworkers did. So you'd taken it to yourself to move here after a room assignment mishap, leaving Aya and Kaori behind. 

It didn't seem like the cursed chamber that she purported to be. Sure, it was isolated at the furthest wing of the beach house, away from the other rooms and separated by a too dark hallway. But that had been the creepiest thing about it. Besides, you heard from logistics that renting the house didn't cost much, despite its size, so maybe it's just that they lacked the resources to renovate. 

The floorboards creaked beneath you. "Aya? Aya, I know it's you," you called out as you squinted, catching a faint silhouette reclined at the corner of the bed. 

It was too large to be Aya, but you chalked that up to the shadows playing with your eyes. You puffed out a chortle, resting a hand on your hips when she finally stood.   

"Very funny, Aya," you snorted when she sauntered towards you. "Just you wait until Kaori hears about.…" you trailed off.

"......this."

You drew in a breath as she moved closer, revealing a build that was much taller, towering almost in the small room, shoulders that are way broader than the ones your friend has, and a face that clearly wasn't Aya's.

"Evenin'," Atsumu yawned. 

Your legs refused to listen to you.

"Been a minute, hadn't it, darlin'?"

You don't know why he's here. 

And even if you wanted to ask, you find that no sound could escape from your mouth when you tried to open it.

You do know this, as he gave you a lopsided grin that used to have you eating at the palm of his hand, along with a lazy gaze that was belied by a bird-like focus:

That although he told you that all he wants is a little chat, you knew that he didn't come here just for that.

You ran.

Atsumu had been the worst boyfriend.

He's aware of it now, realized it fully when he knocked on Samu's door, shit-faced, and it only took a single look and a consoling arm from his brother to break Atsumu into tears and snot, as well as Samu's voice telling him, "Yer a big baby. Ya need her, dontcha?"

That's why he followed you here, figuring that you'd love a thoughtful surprise. Because you always have. He didn't expect you'd take to it kindly, of course, not right away. But he also didn't expect that you would be doing the surprising.

You were talking to that man when he arrived. 

Didn't he tell you not to?

His intentions still haven't changed. He's here to bring you back, but before anything else Atsumu's sure it's only normal that you guys clear things up first. 

And if you're going to do that, he can't have you running away now, can't he?

Grabbing you by the waist, Atsumu's palm tingled at the feel of your body, pulling you closer to him as he pinned you to the wall and stifled your shrieks with his hand.

"Everybody's gone, angel," he whispered, losing himself in your skin, though covered in silk; lips and fingers roaming every which way because finally, finally, fuckin' finally you're here and you're real.

"Just wanna talk." He stroked the curve of your ass, middle finger tracing the lining of the crack. "Ain't this what'ya always wanted? S'let's talk," he murmured against your collarbone.

You were already crying, shaky hands weakly grasping his back and tears wetting even his cheeks. Atsumu couldn't help but smile. You'd always been a crier. It's one of the many things he loves about you. Always so honest with your emotions.

"I missed ya," Atsumu groaned as he grinded his cock against your pussy, feeling it harden when he mouthed your tits.

There was something peeking out of your robe, he noticed as it became more rumpled. 

"D-don't," you breathed, your attempt to swat his hands away thwarted when he seized your wrist.

It was lace. The color pulling the eye to your body like a siren's song. And when he stripped the robe off of you, silk swishing down your elbows, Atsumu saw that it was a piece of lingerie. One that he hasn't seen before.

Because he didn't buy this one. It wasn't from him. You weren't the type to get one yourself. 

Until now.

"This for him?" he murmured, pressing a kiss against your pulse, beating like a drum against his lips. 

"Wh-who?" you whimpered.

"The ugly piece of shit. Saw you guys gettin' chummy earlier."

He was close, too close to you, back at the beach. You smiled at him, laughed and showed him what he isn't supposed to see. And when he touched you— when the fucker touched you, Atsumu wanted blood on his hands.

"Yer gonna fuck the guy whose face I busted?" 

You squeaked as he dug his blunt nails against your wrist. Atsumu licked the red impressions they made.

"And what- what about it?" Your voice was so brittle and small. God, he just wanted to hold you. "It's none of your business, who I spend my time with. And don't- don't tell me you're jealous because-"

He chuckled, the sound of it making you shrink back into the wall. "Jealous? Doll, ya wouldn't wanna know what I'm feelin right now. But, sure." Atsumu lightly nipped at the tips of your fingers. 

"'Course I'm jealous," he rasped. "You're mine."

Then, Atsumu looked at you. And what he saw in your eyes made him stumble that when you shoved him away, all he could do was stand and stare.

"I'm not your thing, Atsumu," you cried. A light-year difference from the girl who'd always stare at him so tenderly. "I never was and I never will be. I'm not yours."

You didn't run this time. You should've. 

Atsumu clenched his jaw. "Like hell ya ain't," he snarled.

People say that breakups are a messy business. Atsumu was so sure he wouldn't have to endure that, before he met you.  Now that he's had the experience, though, Atsumu can say with confidence that breakups are, in fact, a goddamn mess.

But you're over that now. It's time to turn over a new leaf and return to one another. And Atsumu's finding out, in the process, that making up can be astonishingly reminiscent of the breakup.

You started crying when you woke up, screaming for help as you tried to budge the rope that was tying your hands to your knees. You got louder when you found out that you were naked and not in the rickety confines of the beach house. 

"Welcome home, baby," he beamed, eying you from between your legs. 

The begging started when you realized how drenched your little pussy was, his tongue lapping and slathering the cum dripping from your twitching hole, against  your swollen folds; his calloused thumb massaging deep circles on your clit. 

And when he stuck another inside your puckered asshole, you writhed out of your binds and squealed, "T-tsumu-kun…!"

Fuck. 

"Babydoll," he growled. "Daddy's gotcha, daddy's gonna treat ya so fuckin' good."

He slapped your damp cunt with his long fingers, thrusting them inside to rub and feel at your walls, at the bump that never failed to make you screech. "Daddy's been mean hasn't he? Hm? Been a bad daddy to ya, baby?"

You could only gasp out wordlessly as he slurped the juices off your clit, not stopping until you were gushing, sloppy cum drizzling on the bedsheet, every muscle in spasms, incapable of even stretching out your legs although Atsumu knew you wanted to, you really wanted to so fuckin' bad, resorting to curling your toes instead. 

"E-enough, please, please, stop!"

How adorable, Atsumu thought. "My little slut," he cooed, tapping the tip of his hard cock on your pussy. "My good 'lil fucktoy."

He relished it, wanting to draw this on forever, so he slides it against your folds, pussy lips wrapping the meat of his cock, gyrating his hips back and forth, as if he were fucking you, and grabbing your tits to play with your nipples. 

"Atta girl," he laughed, licking his teeth when he finally sunk inside your tight cunt, pushing you so far down into the mattress until his chest was rubbing against your tits, your feet dangling against his shoulders.

"I don't-I don't want this, 'Tsumu," you sobbed. "Don't want this!"

Oh, of course you don't. Atsumu knows you don't. He'd fucked you against your will, after all. 

But you were taking him so well, darlin'. Your walls were hugging his cock so fuckin' nicely that he couldn't help but shove deeper inside you, craving for the way your pussy twitched rapidly around him. 

If you weren't bound, he's also sure that you'd be pushing his hips away. But that's not what's getting to him. Because as he pistoned his cock into you, heavy balls slapping against your ass, you instantly turned your face away.

Did you know that you were breaking his heart? Shattering it to pieces, when you close your eyes like doors, locking them to prevent him from ever reaching you again. 

So he gripped your chin. Forced you to meet his eyes as you wept and shook your head. 

"Am gonna be better, baby," he groaned.  "No more keeping things from ya. None of that bullshit, now."

Atsumu shivered as you came around him, convulsing under him and strained voice still begging him to stop. Because he wasn't. He would never stop. Not when it comes to you. 

"Am all yours, angel. All yours." He pounded your fucked out cunt, chasing his own high as he kneaded your tits. 

A tear fell from your eyelids. And when he kissed you, it felt like everything in his life shifted back in its rightful place. "You can have it all," he sighed, cupping your cheek.

"So give me all of you now," Atsumu pleaded. "Come back to me."

[4dtk]

anon: “hewoo !! umm can you make nct ideal type like age , apperance , height , cute or sexy etc 🌬️” let’s fuckin GOOOO. i’ll be using gender neutral terms for this! please tell me if i used she/her for any part as i’m more used to writing for fem readers!

sorry this took like almost a week i’ve been really busy lately, i apologise! under a cut because its so long lol

disclaimer: tons of “i feel”s and “i think”s; plus, this is just my headcanons of the boys! remember that all of you are beautiful and lovely and special in ur own way!! <3

TAEIL

i feel like taeil would want someone closer to his age (+/-), unless,,, UNLESS he finds someone he really clicks with (like haechan for eg) if they’re at a younger age

if he really does then taeil will 100% make the effort

ngl taeil would love a person taller than him, would worship the shit outta them 

if he gets teased for being shorter he doesnt care LMAO this man will have his hand around your middle and eye the other person mockingly

would love when you own your appearance with confidence, he likes to be by your side to admire how comfortable you feel in your skin

see him being a more traditional man by dating a korean person, but if he’s attracted to someone not of his race, i can see him making the effort

appearance? maybe someone who cleans up well, in a sense who’s a bit proper in their hygiene and like hair or accessories ig. he doesn’t mind what you wear tho, personally leaning more towards the comfy styles of cardigans and baggy clothes.

JOHNNY

either wants someone younger or older… i’m leaning more towards a younger s/o though bc he naturally has a “taking care” kinda vibe, and it’s sweet to see since he naturally takes care of the younger members like mark and haechan

wants to SMOTHER his s/o so i also think he’d want someone shorter than him. the man is a fucking skyscraper lawd

generally likes to give love A LOT since he’s an only child and wants to share that affection with someone who aren’t his parents or the members

but, but, like taeil, i see him really liking being held by his s/o, not just in a small spoon but laying on your chest, lying in between your legs with his head on ur tummy… so cute

i feel like johnny wouldn’t care much for appearance, nor your race since he kinda has the freedom to engage in english conversation. likes a cutesy positive vibe that can share the positivity and happiness he radiates normally!!

TAEYONG

feel like he would go for someone a tad bit older than he is, bc he likes to be taken care of

looking over the members can become really tiring and he needs some sort of solace to relax in

honestly if you’re younger too, he wouldn’t mind, he just needs to be babied LOL

likes tall people… ngl…

would like someone more in tune with their emotion and just not afraid to speak their mind? he likes confidence tbh

can see him going for a foreign person if he’s really passionate about them, would learn english/your native language 

taeyong likes a person that likes their outfits and doesn’t care what you wear out as long as you feel comfortable in it

would prefer more of a calm s/o, but easy-going and fun when they want to be

YUTA

doesnt really care for age tbh. if you’re able to bring him happiness and love him he doesn’t mind whether you’re older or younger

shorter 100%. wants to hold you very much, big spoon, the one holding you in the relationship

would go for a foreign person, but honestly, would want someone he can speak japanese with too. even he has shotaro now, he wants like just a closer person to confide in and also just share lil cute inside jokes with <3

yuta just wants his s/o to be themselves. just. yes. (i mean unless your personality is shit but he doesnt want someone to put on a front with him)

although he also likes cute people… he just wants to pamper u and make u feel like you’re the only one

KUN

goddamn, six kids plus three pets? this man is hanging on by a thread, but he would like a younger and shorter s/o

what’s one more right? 

also naturally has the taking care vibes like johnny, but there’s just something so… dom… about him AHASHFHEHR

would lean more toward a chinese- or korean-speaking s/o but

doesn’t mind a foreign s/o IF they make the effort. he would if he knows you would too. 

kun is lowkey energetic tbh and would want someone who can read the room of whether he’s comfy enough to let loose and remain the ‘parental’ figure

cute people i think will attract him, but oh my gosh when you’re self-assured? WHEW he really likes that, how you’re uncaring of people’s opinions regarding your appearance or personality

DOYOUNG

doesn’t mind older or younger or the same age, although i seem him gravitating toward an older s/o

this man is also 100% stressed. needs to be held, there’s a balance though in your relationship of who holds who though

would stay dating a korean/korean-speaking person i feel. not saying he wouldn’t make the effort but he takes his idol life very seriously and the outcomes if he were to get together with someone who doesnt speak his native tongue

he would want someone proper, like taeil, and would prefer his s/o to be cute and stuff

doyoung needs to know what you want though, so you’ll need to be sure of your choices basically

would like it more if his s/o was calm and just collected bc like taeyong, he needs a haven to relax in when he’s done for the day or when he needs to recharge

TEN

same age or older s/o !!! wants to be taken care of, this man also has a lot of love to give, altho they’re towards selective people like his members, pets, you

would gravitate towards tall people i feel

you need to love leon and louis. period. bella is a hot second.

ten would want an s/o who supports him wholeheartedly, seeing as he has so many talents that sometimes he gets caught up in showing talent for his idol life as opposed to creating things for himself. it’s easy to get lost in the pressure of the media to put out content that he feels is half- assed.

ten knows of his worth, but sometimes he just needs a bit of confirmation and support from the right people to truly create and post what he wants to

he would date a partner who doesn’t speak korean/chinese. he has english and thai and basic japanese baby!!! but yea, he def wouldn’t mind a foreign partner AND would go search up on resources to learn your native tongue!

another person who doesn’t care about how you dress. nor how you look as long as you’re being yourself!

JAEHYUN

oh, younger definitely and a shorter s/o

definitely doesn’t mind an english speaking s/o, although he would prefer someone who can speak korean as well. with s/o’s of other languages, he wouldn’t mind learning your language, although give him some time

the language barrier will be a bit awkward a first tho, but if you know minimal english, i think that’s more than enough for jaehyun to at least steer the convo!

jaehyun is the guy to always give me first love, love from high school vibes so he’s usually the one to embrace you, but LOVES it when you’re the one to initiate contact and affection

jaehyun knows he’s good looking, but he does want an s/o who loves him for who he is, who sees all his good traits as equal to his looks. he would also like an s/o who has a live in the moment mindset, bc he spends a lot of time in his idol life, that a carefree s/o to take him away from the stress of idol life would really help

a sucker for a cute style ngl, pastels and clips in your hair and stuff. 

WINWIN

wouldn’t mind someone a tad bit older, although i can see him with a younger person/same aged person too

shorter s/o!

sicheng wouldn’t care much for appearance, but he likes it when his s/o is confident, or in general confidence attracts him like the other guys in this post. that confidence would allow for him to be ‘guided’ in the relationship

would lean more towards a chinese/korean speaking person, but would try forming a r/s with someone of a different race to see how the language barrier would work

someone who is respectful of his space 100%. winwin wants someone who knows their boundaries in a context that there’s this sense of “i know when he’s feeling upset and wants to be left alone”, something like unspoken exchanges that the other just understands

sicheng also likes when his s/o is a little playful and cheeky, but not to the extent of the boys. just the right amount of outgoingness i guess haha. he would accommodate a bit of wildness, but sometimes it tires him out so you’ll need to know when to tone it down

JUNGWOO

feel like he would lean to an older s/o, but not necessarily needing to keep him in check because you’d be on the other side entertaining his antics lol

jungwoo uses up a lot of his energy tho, so sometimes he tends to go quiet and just likes to slump in your embrace

when he’s not quiet tho, he’s pretty cheeky in a sneaky kinda way and would want someone to reciprocate that.

jungwoo would also like an s/o who cheers him on a lot. he’s a bit insecure naturally, so he would want someone who doesn’t miss a beat to tell him that he’s doing good that day and would like a random compliment sometimes

would like to be held more than holding someone tbh

he wouldn’t care much for appearance, but does lean more towards cutesy appearances

LUCAS

younger and shorter s/o

would want an s/o to just calm down and rest with at times. sure he likes to have fun with his members and with his partner, but most dates with his partner has him in their arms and usually involves a calm activity

i mentioned this in chenle’s one as well, but the happiness he feels with his members is different from the one he feels with his partner, although lucas’ one is more of a blur where chenle’s a bit more distinct. does this make sense

wouldn’t ask much in an s/o, tbh. even if they’re just doing nothing, as long as lucas know he’s making you happy then he’s content with that. like when you’re smiling and loving him, then that’s all he really needs to be honest

lucas would not mind taking up an r/s with a foreign s/o, although he would have trouble with language barriers. would prefer a chinese/catonese speaking partner bc then he’s able to practise his dialect. he’d have a korean-speaking s/o too, although he sometimes stumbles over his korean a teeny bit

would love a cute style definitely!!!

MARK

same age, probably. he would feel more comfortable in terms of affection and conversation i feel!

equal amount of who holds who, but loves when his s/o initiates and cuddles him first 

likes baggy clothes on you tbh, likes to match appearances and styles with you

wouldn’t mind an s/o of any race. he’s dedicated to learning your language if anything, the man likes to learn about new things

mark just wants someone fun to be around who returns his laughter and jokes, kinda like how johnny does

he’s suffered enough from johnny though (“ah, mark! the smell!”) and would probably like it if you defend him instead LOL (sometimes you poke fun tho)

he would also want his s/o to just reciprocate him in terms of laughter and happiness level. mark is always so bubbly that he wants someone to smile at him and laugh with him

XIAOJUN

would like an older s/o ngl, i feel like he would want to be guided as well

doesn’t care if you’re tall or short tbh

but would like an s/o who brings him out of his shell like the members do.

he wants to be able to laugh without trouble around his s/o and let loose. xiaojun sometimes gets annoyed, mostly feigned annoyance, so it would be nice for an s/o to fit in like the members: making fun of his angry face and rolling eyes and then having some light banter

he’s also gonna need an s/o who’s not afraid to pull him back whenever he says out of pocket things. they’re not necessarily harmful just extremely blunt at times that makes you cringe and you have to pull him back to tell him of his comments LOL

xiaojun would... not go into an r/s with a foreign partner i feel, but he will TRY if the conversation is not too awkward, save for like activities and such. like others in this post, he’ll make an effort if he’s committed to you, and only if you’re sure of dating him as well

xiaojun loves a cute style lawd!

HENDERY

same age, younger, older, tbh i don’t think hendery cares that much

he would want a shorter s/o though, i feel

wants a fun and playful s/o, someone who’s just so enjoyable to be around that he sometimes forgets himself and gets lost in the happiness you two give out

he does also want an s/o who can make him shy and basically challenge his personality, but not in a headbutt way where it’s your same two personalities against each other. it’s rather two variations of the same feeling like your playful aura against hendery’s playful aura, which would be honestly quite fun to watch and experience bc you’re just trying to one-up each other

and idk, because he’s talkative quite often, he feels like it would be nice to be the flustered, eyes-wide one for once

hendery in a foreign partner relationship... he would try, but i think he’d be a little intimidated at the languages that he has to have some time to warm up. he would commit and make the effort if he was willing to, though

oversized fits are his shit!!!! he also doesn’t mind seeing you explore with your appearance and style, esp in the goth or rebel kinda style 

RENJUN

same age or younger, wouldn’t mind if you were taller since he knows his height is not THAT high

renjun loves for you to hold him though

the cheeky lad wants a laid back s/o, who doesn’t take life so seriously as well and like hendery, would like it if his s/o was a bit goofy and playful

would also want an s/o who’s deep about the universe and stuff, kinda intelligent to debate alien life and what not, he wants to be able to talk to you about anything and keep the conversation going even if you’re talking about something simple and dumb like snacks

i also can’t exactly see renjun go for a foreign s/o, mainly because of the language barrier, but i can see him trying if he’s able to get help from mark hyung and if the situation allows for you to meet frequently

renjun would definitely like a cute style on his s/o, but also would like more flashy or out-of-the-box outfits. as long as you’re comfy then he’s fine

JENO

same age. he likes to be taken care of though, would maybe be a 60/40 split of you taking care vs him taking care of you respectively

i feel like jeno would like a shorter s/o!

cute s/o, maybe matching up to the personality of jaemin since he was his longest friend from before. enthusiastic while he takes the back seat and admires you

while jaemin loses his social battery over time, jeno wouldn’t mind if you were a literal menace like haechan bc he feels that would make the r/s really fun

see him preferring a korean-speaking person. kinda like doyoung but not quite, he’s more careful than serious (?) about his idol life, and he wouldn’t want to take the risk

HAECHAN

same age or older i feel. equal split of who’s the embracer in the relationship though 

wouldn’t mind a taller person, although he’d prefer if you were around the same height bc he doesn’t want to be teased by his members lol

i feel like haechan would rlly like y2k outfits on his s/o? a mix of baggy outfits as well as cute ones

his natural outgoing personality allows him to get together with a foreign person i feel, bc he’d suggest things that don’t need talking like bowling or an arcade y’know? he struggles a bit with native languages tho, bc he’s so used to speaking korean

btw please egg him on, he loves it when you do it and also do dumb things with him. he would want someone who doesn’t take life so seriously while also possessing the ability to think deeply i feel, but mostly someone who can keep smiling and strong even through hardships. kinda a happy-go-lucky personality

JAEMIN

younger, i feel. like johnny he has a lot of affection to give like he usually does to jisung…. jisung is grown up alr tho so :”(

loves giving the cuddles, big spoon, etc. he just wants you to feel loved no matter what size you are

he also would love tall people ngl! although sometimes he can’t decide between short and tall people

jaemin would appreciate an affectionate s/o who’s committed to him and also a person who’s just naturally shy i feel

they don’t necessarily need to return the energetic bursts of aegyo or stuff (he’d love it though) and also someone who just enjoys life and the small little things in general

would not mind dating a foreigner, would love to learn about your native language actually!

he likes cutesy appearances i reckon, a bit of oversized styles but overall likes the pastels

YANG YANG

same age or older, likes to be taken care of tbh

yang yang is also someone who doesn’t care if you’re short or tall, and likes you either way :)

does not mind a foreign person, plus he’s moved countries a little and could maybe find solace in the fact that his homes are sometimes not fixed, esp with how many languages he speaks as well

yang yang would want an s/o who lives up to his excitement in jokes and memes. he would feel a bit down if you happen to not understand a joke although he cant blame you, but he would want someone almost identical to him? 

create chaos together and then fall asleep together

can see him liking a cute style tbh, and also reaaaaally likes to match outfits with you in your own respective styles

SHOTARO

same age, def.

i think being in nct has made him a little shy as compared to before when he was in a dance crew, so he’d need someone to encourage him while also taking care of him!!

talking to a non japanese- or korean- speaking person might scare him, so he would settle just for that. shotaro wouldn’t mind in a sense if he knows the other person is committed, but the language barrier for the first few dates would be awkward

ooohhh likes it when people are confident definitely, comfortable in their own skin. shotaro is another person i feel would really be attracted to y2k fits

like i said earlier, shotaro just needs a little push, which would help with an outgoing s/o and someone who’s not afraid to try new things. he feeds off your confidence and uses that to boost his!

CHENLE

doesn’t mind an s/o who is the same age or a tad bit older, i’m not sure if i see him with a younger s/o

doesn’t care if you’re tall or short as long as you give him his damn hugs!!!! 

outgoing personality? check. he would literally befriend anyone, and wouldn’t mind a foreign s/o who doesn’t speak korean or chinese. with his limited english, he could probably make an outing fun by doing activities together and will learn your language!!

an s/o who can calm him down. chenle uses up his energy a lot and can get worn out and just wants someone to embrace at the end of the day. i wouldn’t say its similar to taeyong who’s sometimes tired from taking care of the members, but rather in a way where it’s a little playful and bubbly in your own little circle.

it’s a different kind of happy that chenle feels with you as opposed to the joy that the members bring him.

chenle also would want someone who’s sure of themselves, more so in personality rather than apperance. he likes all sizes and colours and styles, altho leans more toward the oversized sector

SUNGCHAN

sungchan is bit mischievous, so i feel like he naturally lean towards an s/o who can kinda be the “mother slash partner” of him: either the same age or younger, leaning more toward a same aged s/o

lawd this man is so tall. i think he’d want a shorter partner, sometimes a bit awkward with the affection but overall likes to give it. plus point: he likes to see you struggle wrap your body around his to get all of him in your cuddles

he wants to be able to relate to them and wouldn’t want awkwardness, so i don’t think he would go for a foreign person as of now

sungchan likes someone to have fun with him, ofc he’s aware that he can’t take away all their problems but he would want his s/o to feel relaxed and content around him with his goofy personality

sungchan likes a cutesy style, maybe, BUT i always see him being really drawn to y2k fits!!!

JISUNG

leaning more towards the same age (+/-1). i think a noona would make him shy and a younger s/o would just feel weird to him idk. 

this man is also very tall, so probs a shorter s/o,,,,, would not mind if you are tall though!! he just likes to have you in his arms instead of the other way round (so you can’t see his flushed face)

not sure if he’d commit to a r/s that is foreign, but he would try with the help of mark-hyung or something. the reason why he’d take it was because the members would help me, but if not, he wouldn’t take the risk with his idol life at stake.

jisung wants someone who’s self-assured as well, strong in mettle and who has a strong character that helps him build up his drive. seeing you in your element helps him achieve more and he appreciates that you are able to provide him with a source of motivation

jisung likes cute stuff, but he does like oversized fits!

[head-empty-only-sunshine]

DJ's Got Them Falling in Love

Ch. 3: Battle of DJs

A/N: I'm in an awful spot right now so I'm throwing this around tryna cheer myself up lol. There was a song of reference, but there's too much stuff going on so slap on any old edm playlist for this one really.

Description: It had finally come time for them to perform together. They take the stage as one unit of pure DJ talent, but it turns to a little playful competition by order of the crowd.

Pairing: S/I X DJMM

Word Count: 2082

[Index]

===

Tonight’s set would definitely be one to outplay all their previous ones. DJ Music Man himself would be accompanying them tonight for his formal introduction to the more adult audience that came to the Pizzaplex, which would surely make it a set to remember. They had never run a program with him before, and the thought of doing so made them incredibly eager. Cin had been replacing him for a while now, so it was about time they got together and gave proper introductions with their music instead.

Currently a basic intro track played over the speakers of the west arcade while Cin paced around backstage, stretching their legs out and sipping on a cooler from the nearby bar. They didn’t really like to drink, but a cooler or two would help ease their nerves for the show to come. All they had to do now was wait for DJ… wherever the hell he was. Cin expected him to be backstage already, but it seemed he had business elsewhere. Oh well, more time to sip generously on the fruity beverage.

Luckily, the wait wasn’t too long. DJ showed up right around when Cin finished their first bottle and greeted them with a wave. This caught them off guard a little before they threw up their arms to gesture the words ‘where the hell were you’ before walking over to him.

“It’s about time you showed up!” They huffed, the empty bottle still gripped between their fingers.

“So sorry~ I was kept behind by parts and services again.” He apologized.

“Hoo, you’re lucky I’ve eased my nerves with liquor, DJ honey.”

“Honey? He inquired.

“You’re the one who said formalities are for suckers.” They snorted with a mischievous grin. “If you want to be even, I extend you the same permission to call me whatever you want~”

“My god, are you drunk already?” He snickered.

“Nope. I just removed my filter is all. I promise you I’m plenty competent enough to operate the turntables.” Cin answered quite clearly, tossing their empty bottle into a nearby recycling bin with flawless accuracy. “See?”

DJ held up all four of his hands and laughed. “Alright, you’ve proven yourself! I’ll take you seriously, Cin.”

“Perfect~. Ah, I can’t wait to introduce you to the mess of a crowd I’ve got.” They mused.

“They’ve taken a liking to you then?”

“Oh they love me. Both crowds, since I’ve covered your shows for so long. I have a feeling you miiiiight have to win back the affection of the crowd since I’ve been holding down this stage for so long~” Cin teased.

“Is that so?” He chuckled. “You tryna take my job?”

“Naaaah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya.” They cackled. “They really are attached to me out there though. I’m sure it’ll be easy to win their hearts if it’s you, so don’t worry about a thing~”

“Oh?”

“Details! Details. Anyway, now that you’re here I can go out and start. Wait here until I introduce ya, m’kay?” They carried on, pushing past the question hanging in the air and turning to walk out on stage.

Cin dismissed all opportunities for him to press further questions like it was their day job. He sighed with defeat and simply let this inquiry slide. There was a show to be run, after all, so he paced up behind them and stopped just before he would be visible on stage, waiting for the grand introduction Cin had planned.

On stage, once Cin was in sight, a wave of cheering came from the rather large crowd. It seemed to be a full house tonight on account of it being a special occasion. Cin had their hands on the turntables already and started to transition into some more lively beats, most of the lights in the area shifting down to a purple with black lights turning on. They were positively glowing, both literally and figuratively, almost like they entered a whole different state of being when with the music. Once all attention was on them, they finally spoke, ready for introductions.

“Welcome everyone! So nice to see a full house tonight!” Cin greeted, booming their voice through the speakers with their wireless tech.

The arcade exploded with delight, a wide range of people from the ages of eighteen all the way up to their forties waving cheap glow sticks around like their lives depended on it.

“I know some of you have been waiting for this one. I’ve been covering his shows for the past few months while he received an upgrade, but that upgrade is done now! Now he’s ready to take to the stage once again, and his big debut starts with me! Clocking in at seven feet tall for tonight instead of the usual twenty, I’d like to ask y’all for a full house welcome for DJ Music Man!”

After Cin announced DJ’s entry, the crowd did not disappoint. Before he even set foot on the stage they were roaring, and got impossibly louder once he actually stepped out. It was a warm welcome indeed, and he took his place right next to Cin as if he had been doing this the whole time.

“Hope you don’t mind if I take over for a little while. I need to re-assert myself~” He mumbled quietly to them.

“Go crazy.” They grinned, sliding over a little.

“Wonderful. Let’s get this party started!”

DJ’s voice boomed over the speakers in a similar fashion to Cin’s. Both of them had the same kind of control over the arcade, so the crowd went wild when they realized they were going to get double the energy tonight. Cin took a step to the side to grab another cooler the bar offered them at the edge off the stage, and they let DJ go wild.

He had no problem adjusting to working with his smaller casing on stage. He was good. Real good. So good they forgot this was also their show to run. After a while of staring like a fool Cin put their drink down on a nearby stool and shoved their way back to center stage next to DJ, pushing up a couple sliders and transitioning into yet another song. Yes it was chaotic, and it got a little competitive admittedly, but it always worked no matter what. Cin and DJ took turns fading in and out of new songs flawlessly, until Cin got an idea.

“Hey, hey, quick question for the crowd tonight.” Cin spoke up, lowering the volume of the music a little. “After we’ve been up here for this long, who do you think is the better DJ? Me, or him?”

The crowd was filled with gasps and ‘ooo’ sounds. DJ shot Cin a sideways glance with a raised brow, intrigued by this question.

“BATTLE TO FIND OUT!” Someone screamed from the crowd.

The floor erupted with cheers that agreed with that statement. Cin chuckled, turning their head to look up at DJ.

“You’re really tryna start a war with me huh?” DJ teased.

“No harm in a little playful competition, right big guy~?” They hummed. “Or are you scared they’re gonna pick me over you?”

“Oh you play hard don’t you?” He snorted. “Playful competition it is.”

The crowd got a show they surely never expected now. Cin and DJ quite literally fought over who had the center of the turntables constantly now, songs mixing more and more. It was more of a grand mashup that played now, a new sample of well known songs starting every ten seconds or so, almost like they had a time limit and had to squeeze in as many songs as possible. The funny part: they all worked together perfectly. Despite fighting over the turntables every second of sound was kept on beat with proper fade to create one long mashup track as the two of them put in as many of their favourite songs as possible. It could be considered one of the most civilized wars ever.

Eventually, both of them stopped fighting so much and settled on a position, though it wasn't initially expected. Cin stood their ground at the center of the turntables, but DJ insisted on being the center of attention as well himself. He took his place directly behind them, one set of arms wrapping around to have control still. It was practically a perfect fit to be standing like that, the height difference allowing both of them to be seen while they mixed away. There were at least three hands on the turntables at all times, and honestly, both of them were pretty comfortable like that. The performance went smoothly, and after enough time passed Cin tapped into the speakers once more to ask the crowd yet again who they thought was the best.

“Well, do we have an answer yet?” They asked.

“REMATCH! REMATCH! REMATCH!”

The whole floor erupted with the chant of a rematch, mixed in with the muddled voices of others yelling that both of them were too good for anyone to decide. They needed more time to decide, and Cin laughed.

“So what I’m hearing is you want a rematch next week, yeah?” Cin asked, which earned positive yelling in response.

“The crowd has spoken. Looks like weekly DJ battles are on the schedule from now on~” DJ chimed in.

While everyone cheered excitedly for the new weekly occurrence that was to come to the Pizzaplex, Cin turned the volume back up and set a song up to play on its own. They then leaned back into DJ’s chest and took a brief moment of rest, reaching for that cooler they left on the stool to start sipping on again.

“Y’know, you’re a lot more fun to work with than I expected.” Cin commented, only loud enough for him to hear while they took a swig of their drink.

“I could say the same about you myself. You’re one hell of a DJ, love~”

Cin immediately choked on whatever amount of cooler was in their mouth and tried not to spit it out all over the tech. With a failed attempt at keeping the liquid down it dribbled out of their mouth and onto the floor, earning a bout of snorting laughter from DJ.

“L-love?!”

“Hey, you said I could call you whatever I wanted to, right~?” He teased. “I didn’t think you’d mind too much considering how much you’re leaning on me.”

“H-hey! You’re just… oddly human feeling. Whatever they made your casing out of feels insanely realistic. Damn, let a bitch appreciate it.” They muttered, distracting themselves with another lineup of songs in the queue while they sipped at their drink again.

“Huh…”

“Huh? Huh what? Did I say something funny?”

“You’re not as tough as you brand yourself to be.” He replied.

“I will kick you off the edge of the stage I swear to god.” Cin mumbled, trying to ignore him now.

He laughed at them because they were clearly flustered. He had obviously struck a nerve with them because they moved a little closer to the table now to try and hyperfocus on the next song transition. He however, was not done teasing them just yet. This discovery of a weak point was too sweet to not indulge in, so he leaned down over their shoulder and pointed at the laptop screen on the side with one free hand and a smirk so devious they could almost slap it right off of him.

“Hey, try mixing these two together. The BPM matches already and the style will shake it up a little.” He commented, his face obnoxiously close to theirs.

“I was going to. Stop fuckin flustering me and I’ll get to it.” Cin said between gritted teeth, attempting to hide the flush on their face.

“Flustering you? Me? Nooo, I would never do that! That’s just the alcohol painting your face red, right?” He teased further.

“Yes. It is. Fucking nerd.”

Despite the bite in their tone, Cin couldn’t stop the twitchy grin from rising on their face. DJ noticed it before he leaned back again and let them continue their work, watching as they dramatically chugged the rest of their drink. He did not comment on it, but preserved that image in his mind with a smirk of his own. They were very fun to work with indeed, and he couldn’t wait to keep doing so. Especially since he now knew they weren’t as tough as advertised.

[kth1]

Get Jinxed [MYG]

beautiful, gorgeous, glorious banner made by the talented queen @dee-ehn​ - thank you so much for making my thoughts come to life in your edit!

Get Jinxed  [Yoongi x Reader] ⟶ Credit: @kimtaehyunq​ ⟶ Genre: Angst | Smut | 21+ | Cyberpunk AU | One Shot ⟶ Warnings: pwp, sorta old lovers to enemies to lovers, cocky yoongi, mentions of weapons, criminal activities, hopeless romantic OC, rough sex, over simulation, multi-orgasms, public indecency, unprotected, creampie, etc,  ⟶ WC: 4.7k+ ⟶ Summary: A rouge ex officer of the law - Yoongi - has twisted his ways into causing mayhem across towns. You are the high and mighty officer who seeks revenge on Yoongi’s ways; considering that he not only turned against the city in which he grew up in, striping all chances of reforming himself, he also stole your heart. ⟶ Teaser: “He hushes you with a hand, his teeth nipping eagerly around your clavicles. “Shh,” he warns with a devilish glint, “We’re in public, Y/n.” He chuckles, mouth coming back to kiss against your jaw.” ⟶ Beta Reader: Thank you so so so very much for taking on this task very very very last minute @chillingtae​ I am so thankful for you to accept this role, and thank you for helping me through this fic! I owe you! ♡ ⟶ Author’s note: Written for @houseofddaeng​‘s Agust D Anniversary Event. Was my first time touching elements of a cyberpunk!au. 

Rain casts a veil over your sight as you stare deeply into the silhouette across the murky alleyway; the figure before you surveys the one-of-a-kind hextech rifle aiming right at their head. Glistening neon lights flood your peripherals, puddles reflecting fractions of radiance between the cracks of the split bricks under your very feet. The chill of cold water drenches your attire, even the cap resting on your head leaks streams down the sides of your face.

“How could you!” You choked out between your teeth; loud enough over the pounding rain, loud enough to cut the man in front of you as if your words are daggers.

The rifle that deemed you the best shot in the city has no comparison to your superior intellect. Your wits earned you the way through the rankings and nobody, no criminal or lawbreaker were foolish enough to cross your path. You are known as Vopamis City’s finest peacekeeper and your oath is embedded deep within your family roots.

You’re the sheriff of a thriving, escalating city where art, craftsmanship, trade, and metamorphosis were built and centered from. Vopamis is and forever will be a reinventing city where dreams are lived to the fullest extent and treasures are found around every corner. It sits on top of the distrusted city of Tapos, an undercity district – which used to be once united but now no more – buried deep within canyons weaved below.

You press your words and force the air to pass through your clutching windpipe, “Fuckin’ answer me you son of a bitch!”

The figure sighs with a step forward, rolling their head out of annoyance but once their eyes meet yours in the light you knew all breath escaped your chest.

“Hi, Y/n.”

The dangerous bright orange hair stands out like no other, just like the cocky grin that emits the same tone as his two-toned eyes does. One is dull brown with crystalized specks of white, the other a piercing topaz yellow; a hard contrast between his natural dark pupil – all of which made those eyes captivating.

You fear this moment every day ever since that terrible day. It haunts you; it scares you; it hurts you. Yet here you are, face to face with the man who solemnly swept the valuable, rich rug right out from under you and ran with it. With betrayal and pain coursing through your veins you sought out his existence every single day to get revenge on the one person you thought you truly once loved.

With your rifle adjusted point blank, with the help of the glowing red laser to the center of his forehead, you show no signs of backing down from your stance. The rain beats heavily though your heart pounds harder inside your chest.

He looks just how you remember him; black under-cut still very much unkempt, a piercing jabbed through one eyebrow and two into the cartilage on the same side of his nose. His oversized cryptic jacket hides his frame well, decorated in all sorts of patches, widgets, and spikes that have their own metallic shine to them. You swear you see the edgings of tattoos creeping up the sides of his neck, exactly how you recall them.

Those unforgiving thick soled boots kick up the water around his steps as he inches out of the shadows, “It’s been a while.”

You ignore him just like he ignores your first sentence, “How could you do this?!”

He shrugs with amusement dressing his face, “Why ask me questions you already have answers to, Y/n?”

With glares meeting another in a standoff stare he halts his walk five feet in front of you. Unphased by the downpour of smogged twilight rain, you twist your finger around the trigger of your trusty gun. “You stole for the black markets, betrayed your city and me, ran off to the unstable technologies and reckless constructions of the polluted and gangrenous Tapos. Why!?”

“You seem to be a bit vindictive.” He snickers, swiping a hand through his soaked locks. “I was bored.”

Bored.

Your grip tightens around your rifle, you can’t tell if you are shaking from the cold of the rain or the anger raging throughout your body. His words made your heart sink to the pit of your stomach.. “Yoongi!” You hiss with a harsh tone, blood boiling under your very skin.

He steps again, hand clutching the barrel of your gun and aligning the end against his forehead. Yoongi looks at you with teasing eyes and a wide, wirily smile. He is testing you - taunting you. “I know you won’t do it. You won’t pull the trigger.” That blunt topaz eye drills back into yours, enticing and enchanting all at once. “How many times have you seen me in the streets? Stealing from this filthy, pathetic excuse of a renowned city? How many times did you watch me walk by doing whatever I damn well please? Why are you stopping me now? What changed?”

To what you believe you are holding out strong, insisting you have the upper hand and all control. But you are frozen, unpredictably iced in place from where you stand. Only to stare back at the man that your heart swells and aches for. Yoongi doesn’t wait for you to answer as he already knows every single move and step you have going for you.

“It’s only been two months.” He states with a soft smile, lowering and pushing aside the gun in your grasp. “One of the most determined and skilled investigators of all Vopamis. Filled with ferocity and a strong sense of justice and resolution. Falls right into the footsteps of each and every one of your family members. They reinforced their ideals of right and wrong on you so much that it’s practically branded across your forehead.”

Yoongi spits to the side, tilting his head to watch your face with all his rambling. He has proven himself in such a small-time frame of how impulsive he can be, going from a trusted high ranked officer of the law to a merciful criminal who now wreaks havoc without care. Buildings burn in his name as he always made sure to leave a massive trail of mayhem and panic in his wake, never seized to end his rampage with the biggest explosions – which soon became his signature.

You loved him ever since the day you two joined the academy together. Yoongi excelled in everything from hextech inventions to architectural research. Vopamis has become a magnet for the most skilled craftsmen from all over the world and the more restricted and dangerous ones fell into the toxic runoff of Tapos. Now, Yoongi’s schemes have inspired copycat crimes among the chem-punks, a movement in which he predicted after labeling righteous wordings on structures throughout both cities. Some followers have blindly followed his persona named ‘X’.  In a crafty way each successful heist has a small piece left for the police to find; a personable note that always says, “get jinxed.”

Standing helplessly at the mercy of your own heart your head drops, eyes casting to the drenched road. Everything in your righteous mind tells you to take him in, lock him up – it is your job and duty to do this as you are one with the law. But your poor, fragile heart is gapping open from the piece that was ripped away by Yoongi.

“You’re right.” You whisper softly.

“I know.”

All the times you allowed him to do what he continues to do because you didn’t have it in you to send him to jail. As you watch him become the criminal he is now, refusing to stop his acts even though the justice and pride within you screams for you to act on your instincts. “Everything you’re saying is right.”

Yoongi raises his hand, palm facing up and holding a chemtech explosive bullet that swirls a cobalt blue liquid inside. Instantaneously you knew exactly what the bullet is – the meaning behind it, and all of the precious memories came flooding back all at once.

The bullet was no longer than two inches and has a hole drilled through the piece to lace a chain through it. Yoongi wears it as a charm to his bracelet and even in the dark of the rainy night with neon lights flashing around you, you can still see the small etchings of both of your initials on the tip of the bullet. It was his first ever fully functional bullet he crafted back at the academy and he had dedicated that piece of craftsmanship to you.

“I still love you, you know.” Yoongi’s voice stills your breath, deep and stern. With all seriousness he openly speaks with a stony face as you look up to him. “I never stopped.”

You avert your eyes away from the nostalgic piece which lies in Yoongi’s palm and the heat of your breath fans out into the open cool air in a puff of smoke. It hurts your heart, all your pent-up revenge brought out a disgusting angry monster from within you. You’re blinded by the law and blinded by the admiration of love for Yoongi.

“You don’t.” You counter with a hiss.

Raindrops hide away the streams of tears that break down the brims of your eyes and you refuse to keep your eyes open in the slim chance of giving Yoongi the satisfaction of your glistening orbs filling with hurt. As much as you secretly hope and want – need – Yoongi to say those words, they still simmer a splitting pain inside of your delicate heart.

Yoongi’s tatted, calloused hand aimlessly raises to your face, his knuckles brushing against the curve of your cheek. Surprisingly, you don’t flinch at the contrasting and unexpected warmth that’s responsible for heating up that side of your face. Instead you find yourself helplessly leaning into the contact, your shaking hand still holding your trusty gun at your side.

“It’s funny,” Yoongi scoffs, forcing your eyes to jolt in his direction of his action.

You burn a glare at him while he inspects your face, your blood boiling underneath all of your drenched clothes and cold skin. Yoongi sounds a quick ‘tsk’ as disapproval while his fingers glide down the column of your neck. “So funny that you question everything I say and do.”

The fact that he has your rendered frozen in place under the heavy weather and his intimidating presence only confirms his suspicions. He wasn’t lying to you and you knew that, right? You swallow thickly at the bright orange haired man in front of you, eyes casting down to shrink your frame.

You sneer back, “Can you blame me? You ruined your chances of being an officer – all that hard work you put in means nothing now. You destroyed all your chances of being a citizen of Vopamis. And all because you were bored.” In the back of your mind no matter how many hours you had pondered his reasonings to derail into a criminal, what hurt you the most wasn’t the fact he chose this path of being a high risk offender – it is the reality of him leaving you behind as if nothing about your relationship between another is important to him as it was to you.

Yoongi cocks an amused eyebrow, a smirk quick to follow. “Hm, yes. I wasn’t bored with you though, Y/n. Truthfully, knowing that you’ll be hot on my trail at all times – no matter where I went – made this new life even more fun. You enjoy chasing me?” He swipes his tongue through the small opening of his lips, two-toned eyes glare at the small line of tattoos up the back of your own ear. He tilts your jaw with his thumb, exposing more of your smooth damped skin.

Under Yoongi’s hand you feel like a marionette; damned against his ministrations and at how weak you feel towards him. You can see your vision blur around the edges, your sight honing on the glowing eye that stares at you with interest. Another puff of fog seeps out of your mouth from a released breath that you held in for far too long. You don’t acknowledge the way your limbs grew numb by the minute or the way your bottom lip trembles from your constant shivers. You are only focusing on the way the warmth of the pads of his fingers emits onto your skin and gives you a sliver of assurance.

“Have I ruined this too?” Yoongi questions in a whisper, eyes projecting down to your cold lips.

Everything in your mind tells you to scream at him, tell Yoongi ‘yes, you completely and utterly ruined every single aspect of my life,’ but the words cannot crawl their way up your throat and form the sounds you need. Instead your face reacts with pain, all of your walls and defenses breaking down around you and your rifle drops to the puddled ground underneath you.

He can read you like a book, study your features, and pull each intricate and thin string of your heart. He plays you like a fiddle with a crooked smile, a knowing look to his face where all his intuitions of you feeling something towards him are all riddled true. It’s dressed all over your face, your body leaning closer to his, the look to your eyes – glistening or not.

His thumb taps lightly against your bottom lip, popping it open from the stern line your mouth was creating. You gulp with anticipation, your surrounding areas become less and less in vision of your peripheral and your eyes can only bore straight back into Yoongi’s; pupils dilating rapidly.

“No…”

Your solo word shakes out with a heavy breath at the same time Yoongi’s other hand comes to grab your elbow and pull you closer to him. The heat radiating off of him is met between you with a strikingly fast kiss, but the kiss was tentative at best. Even reading all of your body gestures, the way your posture changes when it comes to his proximity invading your territories, Yoongi still approached with cocky confidence. He knows he has you around his finger, around his hand and more.

‘You weren’t ruined, yet,’ he thought. But Yoongi is all too excited to violate whatever purity of the law that is still laced within your morals.

He’s eager to shove his deadly tongue into the first parting of your mouth, a gasp of excitement releasing through a moan. You forget about the downpour of rain around the two of you, the chill of the air cutting through your clothes, even forgetting the blaring neon signs illuminating the paths around this alleyway. Your mind is intoxicated with the savvy orange haired, corrupted, and dangerous man who has swindled his way within the burrows of each city and the cavities of your heart.

A single tear traces down your cheek as your arms link around Yoongi’s neck, your body completely caving into the man before you. With the motion Yoongi backs the two of you up until you're hidden well enough in the darkness. His hand cocks your head to the side as he leaves wet open-mouthed kisses as he pushes you against the side of the building. His lips heat your skin up and send an involuntary chill of goosebumps down your body.

You breath out into the air while your senses adjust to the new sensations of want and need being applied to your form. “Yoongi –“

He hushes you with a hand, his teeth nipping eagerly around your clavicles. “Shh,” he warns with a devilish glint, “We’re in public, Y/n.” He chuckles, mouth coming back to kiss against your jaw.

You muffle a noise of acknowledgement, or a moan of pleasure from the sharp suck Yoongi plants against the sweet spot under your ear. Your arms grip him tighter, pulling him flush against your front to be as close as possible. Without hesitation your hands link up the back of his head, fingers carding through the disheveled drenched locks for a nice pull.

Both of your clothes stick to you like a second skin, suctioned to your own bodies and you desperately want them ripped off. Yoongi hisses at the yank of his head. Sensing your actions as an emergency he huffs a laugh your way, “Yeah? What do you want?” He removes the hand across your mouth only to shove his thumb into it, pressing down against your tongue. “Is this righteous mouth going to tell me something?”

You comply by action with the decision of closing your mouth around his finger and sucking it with delight. Yoongi praises you with words of assurance, biting down on the flesh of his own bottom lip. He leans into you, hips grinding instantly against your frontside. The uneven gyrating of wet fabrics causes a rough and uncomfortable friction, but it was something that helped direct attention toward your neglected core.

Yoongi lifts up your slicked shirt just enough to fondle around the waistband of your pants in search of unhinging your duty rig belt. “You’re going to be a good girl, right?” His eyes give you a knowing look as his thumb detaches from your trap. Nodding, you seek his mouth once more to savor the warmth between you two. “Vopamis’ finest,” he quotes in a mocked tone.

“I love you.”

Your confession halts Yoongi for a brief moment between kisses, his hand stalls as it breaches a few inches inside the front of your pants. He has you pinned against the rough brick of a building in the outskirts of the city with your freezing, aching body under his frame. Your mouth and legs so willing to open up for him.

This is the very first time he’s seen you so ‘not yourself’ in all the years he has known you, even when the fondness blossomed more between the two of you. Whichever relationship the two of you were in – it wasn’t exclusive but it surely is implied – has become completely manipulated to the public eye. Yoongi’s urgency falters for a moment, a flashback to a simpler time where the underlying love and sweetness emitting from the two of you has no boundaries. But as fast as that memory exposes itself, it was easily covered in his future thoughts. His enjoyment of being who he is now, what he wants to achieve, obtain, and take.

With your face plastering across all walls of his mind, he smirks excessively as if he is pleased with himself. He has everything he wants, and he’s greedy for more. No matter what Yoongi does with himself he knows he’ll have you regardless – and right now is proving that theory.

He leans forward to plant another kiss to your appetizing lips once more, “I know you do.”

Quickly, Yoongi flips you in your place in one quick motion, yanking down a portion of your pants once you catch yourself against the wall. Your eyes scan frantically to the opening of the alleyway, silently praying nobody stumbles upon the two of you in this indecency act – especially how your rifle lays still on the ground in the opening.

The air breezes across your now exposed cheeks, and with a firm hand Yoongi shoves against your lower back forcing you to bend forward enough to reveal your core. Gasping, you shudder under the sudden invasion of his cold clammy palm molding on top of your cunt. Your hands held you up against the wall, pants pulled only to your lower thighs preventing the spread your legs most desperately needed.

Slowly, Yoongi’s fingers prod along your slit, dipping directly between your folds the moment they come in contact with your dampness. He shushes you once again with the ruggedness of his voice while you hear the clinking of what you assume to be his belt buckle.

He wastes no time sinking a finger straight into your entrance, only after giving your clit a moments time of blissful pleasure – gone far too quick for your liking. His digit glides easily, enticing him with the next stroke to join a second. Your mouth hangs open with heated pants, your lower stomach jumping excitedly at the intimacy of your loved one, and your hips chase the stride of his fast pace.

“Shit, Yoongi!” you curse under your breath, feeling his free hand now snaking up your side under your shirt. His fingers alone create such friction that has your head lolling to the side and your inners clutching erratically. You don’t question your urgency, the impatient nature your body so willingly falls into, not when Yoongi is inches behind you lining up his engorged head to replace his fingers.

The two of you don’t care about the surrounding areas, too filled with lust. Too drunk on the idea of Yoongi coming back to you – and he is too excited knowing he has you in his clutches.

Heat courses throughout your core and abdomen, running down each of your limbs the moment his hips are pressed against your backside, dick submerged in one swift jolt forward. You lose your footing, falling further into the wall as your forearms plant into the building. A guttural moan leaks out of him the moment you yelp and squirm under him. His fingers desperately hold around your waist as he straightens his back, giving the next few experimental thrusts the slower motion your pussy needed from his harsh action.

Yoongi’s hip snaps back into you, bringing the flesh of your ass into the seat of his lap. He seethes through his teeth, “Fuckin’ hell!”

You’re restricted from widening your legs no thanks to your pants locking you in place, but this also gives a tighter sensation against his swollen cock. He doesn’t give you too much time to recuperate and catch your bearings, too honest with his mission and surging forward to bring the two of you to the brink.

“Stand,” he grunts with an arm circling around your waist. With his help you’re press flush against the wall and his chest, completely stuck between two hard places. Yoongi’s pace is rapid, the slaps of skin melt into the sounds of the fallen raindrops. It’s not long for his cock to jam pleasantly into the sweet spots within your silky walls, his thrusts determined to continue their gyrating motion deep inside you.

He chuckles at the lewd moans you release, head tilted back against his shoulder as you breath for air. “You really don’t care if someone hears you, huh? What do you think they’ll do, seeing the best shot in town being railed by a rogue criminal?”

Yoongi’s words course through your ear, his teeth coming to bite the flesh behind it. Your mind is too cloudy to think straight, not when he was inside of you both physically and emotionally. “T-they’ll hate me.”

“Is that so?”

You hum because that’s all you can do. The knot tightens in your stomach, the dull ache between your legs distorting itself into an electrifying spark has you cursing Yoongi’s name to go faster, harder. Yoongi feels you tightening around his prodding cock, only causing him to buck into you rougher.

Orange locks find their way between your fingers, tightening your grip on his hair the faster that band within you reaches towards its peak. “Yes! Yes, yes, please –“

The moment your body feels his inked fingers sneak their way to your clit, pinching it harshly, pulls a shriek of pleasure from your throat. Your body snaps under him – back arching as your walls clasp around his cock. “A-ah!” you shout while your orgasm rushes to all corners of your body, a tingly sensation vibrating through every fiber of your being.

Yoongi smirks as his pace doesn’t halt, now latching both of his hands to your hips he directs all movements. He enjoys your dispute of over-sensitivity, knowing how much you secretly like it from all the times in the past.

“One more, I know you have it in you. I’ve seen it before.” His voice is rough, any tang of sweetness swept away. “I’ll continue to fuck into this pussy until you cum again.”

Without stopping for a breather your body rushes into overdrive, it continues to squirm in his grasps and your legs shake dangerously underneath you. All thoughts of remaining quiet have gone out the window. Your second orgasm is set to fire, ready to be kicked off the edge into infinity, and with one quick shove of Yoongi’s cock that sinks all the way to ram into your cervix has you keening over and over.

Your pussy pulsates around his dick inconsistently, holding onto the appendage like a vice. It triggers his frenzy, his release spilling deep inside your well spent walls with dirty grunts. His arms hold around you tightly, helping you stand straight and to assist himself at the same time. Together both of your breathes are resounded, heated air escaping around the two of you in puffs of smoke.

You wince when his softening cock slips out of you, leaving gravity to aid in the way his cum drips casually out of your hole. Yoongi doesn’t allow you to turn and face him before he’s hoisting up your bottoms, the fabrics too annoyingly drenched to feel comfortable against your skin.

When you finally turn to speak to him he’s already readjusting his pants up along his hips, securing the button to his pants as he eyes you for a quick second. His hair is even more of a mess than before, no doubt you looked remotely better.

Dropping your mouth to talk, Yoongi averts his gaze to your rifle laying to the side. “Yoongi, I –“

“Don’t.”

His eyes narrow at the device that labels the reality of everything, where the two of you stand no matter how much you tango with another. A snort leaves him as he finishes off the buckle to his belt and you can tell by the way his facial features flicker than he’s having a complicated inner dialog going on inside his mind.

“Yoongi!” You press, grabbing hold of his shoulders to shake him slightly. “Yoongi please look at me, please don’t walk away from me.”

After a deep breath he exhales slowly, blank eyes now directed at you. There’s confusion painted over your face from the way you aren’t understanding why Yoongi suddenly steps even closer to place another kiss onto your lips, but it causes you to stop thinking momentarily. His lips, plump and plush, are the only things you can think about – until he’s pulling away too fast.

Back now facing you, he strides down the alley in which you found him. As if this heated interaction, and everything it consisted of, seized to exist anymore – the time has passed.

You take a wobbly step in his direction, hand reaching towards the figure that distances itself further from your grasp. “Yoongi, please!” You cry.

Behind you is your rifle, only feet away, and in front of you is the man you continuously chase. You’re torn between the two, the feeling of your mind splitting in half causing you to have a mental debacle with yourself. You scream with frustration; tears stream down your face at what your heart truly wants.

To stop the criminal at large or to join him?

You didn’t notice how Yoongi stops in his tracks, head tilted to look behind him with his piercing yellow eye standing out through the darkness. He watches you curiously, the environment around the two of you officially draws itself back into reality. Once he hears your scream of defeat he completely turns to face you with the widest grin smeared across his mouth.

“Hey, Y/n...” He pauses to wait until he knows you’re listening to him – and of course you immediately do so. Yoongi cocks his head to the side with a sense of arrogance radiating from the way his body stood. You desperately look at him with a plea, but your facial features harden at his next words. And they lace, deadly, within your mind.

Yoongi sighs, running one of his hands through his hair. Again, he knows he already has you, ruined you, and now he completely and absolutely owns you whether you like it or not. Yoongi playfully lifts his fingers to cross them together, a sign of a heart sent straight to you, “Get jinxed.”

© All rights reserved under @kimtaehyunq​ - do not copy, repost, modify, edit, or translate any of my work without my direct consent. This tumblr is the ONLY place my fics are posted.

[steponmepinkjun]

ok ok these are the Questionable Local Felix rumours ive gathered but i cant stress enough to take this with a Massive grain of salt bc it was never from the source themselves. 1) felix is a weeb and used to call his fav anime girls his waifus. this one i wholeheartedly believe imo i see it. i can feel it. he was probably a mikasa stan. im projecting shut up. 2) he lost his v-card at 14... im not gonna elaborate on that one for obvious reasons, im just gonna say me too bro we livin this whore life together✨3) he was a kik kid. this one is actually confirmed as true mf had his old kik profile pic leaked and it looks like every 12 year old fuckboi wannabe ever its the Funniest thing ever. i cant rmb any of the others but ill come back to you if i do

chan thot wbk we all heard the moaning in the back of tiktok and then theres just wow as a whole. tag yourself im the one bitch who he called pretty during the predebut 3racha live stage of id:a and started screeching belligerently.

literally Dont Even Get Me Started on the whitewashing in the kpop industry. im a tanned skin asian myself and it just makes me ::::'))) they be whitewashing entire videos not just photos and using makeup and skin brightening creams and its horrible. its seriously horrible. ppl often make fun of darker skinned idols too... "hurl a bottle of makeup remover like a molotov cocktail" PLEASEEE that sent me but youre so right for this take tho. men w makeup outsold. like the makeup from the victory song mama stage? UGHHH PLEASE. makeup artist felix when. i literally know nothing about makeup bc im trans and femininity usually makes me dysphoric (but also i wanna get into makeup highkey? i just dont want it to make me look like a girl?) but like i am So Here For It.

anyway here's a thread of unwhitewashed skz for the soul: https://twitter. com/aintcheww/status/1338395728620605440?s=20 and here's a thread of felix's freckles: https://twitter. com/Bllack98/status/1390808708544925696?s=20 as u can see they often only show his cheek freckles but it does down to his ears and theyre adorable. im in love with this man -felix bi anon

I just know in my heart, in my heart of hearts, deep in my soul, that these are all true 😂.🙊 Because if I was gorgeous, talented, charismatic, and ever had even a single occasion to show up in a head-to-toe sky blue suit decked out w the gold rolex, even once, even as a joke, I too would show up to life every day going, "Yeah, I could steal your girlfriend AND your boyfriend in the short moment while the next episode of this fuckin anime is loading. What of it? You can't touch this. Hi, flop 😚" with my fuckin deep ass voice, and then just fuckin dance my lil ass off into the sunset. Would you not, if it was you?! I'd be up in EVERYONE'S dms with the unbearable fuckboy energy, giving that lip bite jaw stroke shit, and STILL winning. STILL serving, as he should 😂 I feel like there is an energy to predbut pics of him that I actually relate to, he just seems (to me) like this very bright, very sensitive kid, kind of not really sure how to channel that and definitely having success in how he's perceived but not really letting his true vulnerability or creativity shine through... And I think that's very much what adolescence is about, I mean they are literally still kids, they are all SO young, I could give them very much "back in my day" lectures as I hobble in with my cane and my bad back and my outdated slang, they're that much Fetuses in my eyes as the resident old ass bitch 😂 but I do relate to the way I feel like as time as gone on his sense of self and confidence in his own abilities and identity has just completely started to shine through, so as someone who sort of looks at all the kids with this benevolent, protective energy as well as acknowledging how fabulous they all are—the way you hype your friends up, like YAAAS BITCH, give it to them! Let them have it! Also I love you and would ride out for you! Very THAT energy—I feel like there's a growth w Felix that is very palpable and is really heartwarming to see. But at the same time I also know deep in my soul that Felix was that kid that worked part time at Abercrombie & Fitch—not Hollister cause Hollister was the broke bitch alternative to A&F if you were a bitch that had money 😂—and would curate the store playlists, be too busy talking w his friends to greet customers, and audibly sigh when someone rifled through the table of denim he just folded immaculately (same bestie 😔) before getting froyo with his work besties in the food court and using it as an opportunity to flex on everyone who didn't have the newest statement tee that he bought w his employee discount. He also defo got the job because he couldve been one of the iconic A&F models himself and always reeks of the cologne they spray on all the clothes in store. And none of that is a read, it is a FACT 😂😭 I also live for Chan giving us whole entire golden retriever energy, as well as exhausted mom of seven no braincell havin ass children, on top of Business Professional, Sickening on the Sales Floor Business Fish, inspiring motivational poster at the dentists office energy, at the same time as SIR WHO TAUGHT YOU TO MOVE LIKE THAT 😳, and then on top of it all whatever that is thats been coming to light on my fyp these days 😳 bitch idk wtf an eshay is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(sidenote I s2g if I was that girl at that show that he called pretty my heart would have leapt out of my chest cavity like it was fuckin fire drill and they would have had to close down the whole venue while they waited for the coroner, I would NOT BE OKAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

I literally cry at Chan being like "oh no I'm barefaced" like SIR. I want you to go sit in a corner and think about what you've done. I will pick your short ass up by the scruff of your neck and throw you out the damn window. Knowing DAMN WELL they all gorgeous NO FUCKIN FILTER, meanwhile I'm sitting there entombed in blankets like a fuckin earthworm, bags under my eyes like I work at Prada Marfa, body shaped like a refrigerator, adult acne signing into the chat every chance she gets, double AND triple chin reporting for duty, hairline RUNNIN from my face like it's got a warrant, giving very much Danny Devito as The Penguin teas 🙄🙄🙄 like sir I will shove a falcon wing up your fly ass 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Like hello hi hello sir from the uggos, we see you and your crew and REJECT you from the club, none of yall qualify on your worst day, goodbye, dismissed, case adjourned, bring in the dancing lobsters 🙄 if I was that pretty YOU COULDN'T TELL ME SHIT. I would be UNTOUCHABLE. Idk man I mean like I see the difference in the beauty standard socially, but I hope that tide turns and shit changes, it makes me sad and it's so harmful.

I always felt a little out of place in the makeup world because, at the time, when I was coming up trying to learn shit it wasn't like it is now where there's respect for creative freedom and there's a niche for every style. It was like, if you wanted to learn to do makeup, there was a Right Way to do it and that meant worshiping Kevin Aucoin and Bobbi Brown books like the bible and making every look the standard of Flawless, Effortlessly Eurocentric Youth-Fetishizing 90's Supermodel Minimalism. I wanted to create looks that felt inspired and were performance art and statement pieces, my personal aspiration with my looks was that like... I wanted to achieve something beyond the banal of being human. I wanted to look like a fucking alien, I wanted people to see my makeup and go "I don't know what the fuck that is but it's confusing and scary and I am feeling Emotions about it" but there wasn't room for that, not in the spaces I found online but especially not in the irl world of makeup around me. I saw makeup and fashion as a tool to take control of the way the world experienced me, I wanted to transcend the petty rules of peoples perceptions of me, but... Idk. I wish I could rediscover that passion for makeup as a medium and the human body as a canvas, but... Idk. I'm a tired old bitch now and I can't be bothered anymore. I don't even wanna be perceived at this point and any form of self expression that falls short of an invisibility cloak is falling short of the goal lmfaoooooooo 😂 ugh how depressing! Not the mood. But ANYWAYS I completely live for the boys and in my head Felix is literally four inches tall and could fit into my shirt pocket, I mentally picture him as the epitome of Pampered Smol, and no one can convince me otherwise, the boy is Tiny, a Petito, a Micro, a Wee Bern. If I even begin to approach the absolute hysteria that thinking of Lee Felix Ear Freckles would cause me I will absolutely collapse and once I am revived with smelling salts I will need to be sent to the seaside for the season to recover 👌

[365days365movies]

February 22, 2021: Pillow Talk (1959)(Part 1)

Y’know, I actually do like Doris Day.

She’s funny, she’s talented, and she’s a timeless beauty that I remember very well. TOO well. You guys ever have that one thing that your parents crammed down your throat SO MUCH that you got sick of it? Well, that’s what my Mom did with The Thrill of it All.

Which is, for the record, a cute movie, and one worth watching again at some point. But I’m gonna ease my way into that with Doris Day and Rock Hudson’s first movie, 1959′s Pillow Talk. 

However, while I’m not stranger to Doris Day, I’m afraid that I don’t know too much about Rock Hudson from experience. Well, there is one interesting tidbit about him: Hudson was one of the biggest stars of the ‘50s and ‘60s, and his career continued up until his death in 1985...from AIDS-related complications.

Yeah, Rock Hudson was one of the biggest gay celebrities in Hollywood, although he never publicly came out. However, it was somewhat of an open secret in the community at large, and basically all of his female co-stars know about it. 

And said secret was revealed posthumously, after his tragic death during the height of the AIDS crisis. He was by far one of the most high-profile deaths during this time period, and you’d think that would’ve caused more waves about the AIDS-crisis, considering that he was good friends with...well...another actor.

Yeaaaaaaaaah, not gonna get into Reagan and ALL OF THAT SHIT here. This here is a movie blog, not a political blog! But, uh, yeah, a LOT of fucked-up shit about Reagan and the AIDS crisis, obviously, and part of it was Rock Hudson. So, yeah, it’s something that I wanted to address before we got into this whole shindig.

Because, again, I’ve never seen a Rock Hudson movie, but dude was a pretty huge deal, and this was a part of his life that I felt it unfair not to at least acknowledge. SO, with that out of the way, let’s have a little Pillow Talk. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start with that might be one of my favorite opening sequences so far this month, which you can see above. From there, Jan Morrow (Doris Day) wakes up, humming the theme song from the credits, which is clever, considering that she sang it! Talented lady, seriously.

Jan wakes up and goes to the phone, intending to make a call. However, this is where we get a pretty stark cultural difference, and a needed history lesson for some of us, me included. See, Jan’s phone line is actually a party line, seen through this neat little visual edit.

See, this is what’s called a “party line”. From the 1870s onwards, there was a shortage of available phone lines. By the time you get to the ‘60s, more and more people had personal phones in their households, but without enough lines to go around. And so, some people were forced to share their phone lines with others, hence the party line system!

Here’s the thing, though: if somebody was on the line already, anyone else on that line could hear the conversation of other people. Which is exactly what’s pissing of Jan right now, as she needs to make a call, but the line is being used by her party line partner, songwriter Brad Allen, who’s serenading his girlfriend (?) Eileen (Valerie Allen). Not sure that they’re actually dating, but Eileen definitely wants to.

After Jan’s insistence, they get off the phone, and Jan’s able to begin her busy morning at last. Well...almost. Brad’s now talking to Yvette (Jacqueline Beer), and she wants him to sing HER song to her, which is LITERALLY just the Eileen song with a different name and in French! Which is...hilarious. It’s very funny, not gonna lie.

Once again, Jan tells him to get off the party line, and hangs up angrily. She leaves just as her cleaner woman, Alma (Thelma Ritter) arrives, fresh off of a hangover. Jan goes to try and get a line of her own, and the manager, Mr. Conrad (Hayden Rorke) makes a WEIRDLY sexist comment about jumping to the top of the list if she were pregnant. Which, yeah...weird.

Anyway, Jan, in her frustration, tells Mr. Conrad that she’s hired of sharing the line by a “sex maniac.” Mr. Conrad asks for specifics, and is AGAIN WEIRDLY SEXIST ABOUT IT. He asks if his dalliances with other women disturb her in particular. But yeah, he also says that if he is indeed a “sex maniac,” they may need to disconnect him altogether. Which has...uncomfortable undertones all on its own, but whatever, moving on.

On her way to work, Jan’s friend Jonathan Forbes (Tony Randall) shows up to bring her a STRAIGHT-UP CAR, holy shit! He’s doing so to thank her for decorating his offices (she’s an interior decorator, he’s a car dealership owner, so...fair exchange?). She insists that it’s too personal, which confuses him, as it isn’t perfume or lingerie.

But, uh, dude? IT’S A WHOLE-ASS CAR!!! Look, I’m with her on this one, don’t just give me a fuckin’ car out of the blue! I don’t care what the reason is, tell me that shit first! And Jonathan is CLEARLY trying to make it just a little more personal, if you get my meaning.

Jan finally arrives at her office, owned by Mr. Pierot (Marcel Dalio), and she tells him that an inspector has been sent to look after Mr. Allen. This inspector is Miss Dickenson (Karen Norris), and being of the wimmins, is immediately entranced by the apparently irresistible Mr. Allen, sabotaging any attempt at inspection.

The next morning, the inspector’s report comes through, and Miss Dickinson has of course cleared him of all charges. He calls her, and the two clash in a way that definitely means they’ll never, ever, ever fall in love, no sir, not these two, not a CHANCE IN HELL

They agree to make a schedule for using the phone, and Brad accuses Jan of being jealous of his free-wheeling, bed-hopping lifestyle, which she takes great offese to. But after they hang up, she thinks on the idea of having bedroom problems. Looks like Jonathan wants to fix that, on account of being the THIRSTIEST MAN ALIVE.

Dude has three three ex-wives, all of which were revolts against his mother, for which he’s seeing a psychiatrist.

...CHRIST, the man’s a walking-talking red flag. Jan also says that she doesn’t love him, like...AT THE FUCK ALL, and the man just straight-up says, “How do you know, we’ve never even kissed.” Ai which point, any normal person would see the phantom neckbeard and whip out the fuckin’ bear mace, but Jan just lets him lean in for the goddamn kiss!!!

Jan...standards, Jan. My God. Anyway, she still turns him down, he asks her to get married again, and she leaves. For God’s sakes, man. Anyway, she goes home, where Alma’s listening to Brad serenade a girl over the party line. Jan notes the time, and tells him to get off the line. He calls back, and tells her off.

Brad gets a visitor: his old college friend FUCKIN’ JONATHAN AGAIN. He bemoans being a millionaire (po’ babyyyyy), then reveals that he’s pining over Jan, whom he doesn’t know is the person on the party line with Brad. He hears a good amount of information about Jan from Jonathan.

After the conversation, Brad tries to somewhat reconcile with Jan, but she doesn’t have any interest in doing so. That night, the two have separate affairs. Brad meets up with a woman named Marie, and  serenades her with the same goddamn song from earlier, that suave motherfucker. Dude flips a switch, and the door fuckin’ LOCKS! Jesus, state-of-the-art hook-up tech of 1959.

Meanwhile Jan is attending a dinner held by an extremely client, Mrs. Walters (Lee Patrick). Needing to get home, she has her son Tony (Nick Adams) give her a ride. But on the way home, they stop and WHAT THE FUCK TONY??? I actually can’t find a clip or GIF of this, so I’ll tell you...he is ALL THE FUCK OVER HER, and it’s GROSS. CAN WE PLEASE STOP SEMI-RAPING DORIS DAY? WHAT THE FUCK, IN NO WAY IS WHAT I JUST WATCHED OK, HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Like...wow, that was the most uncomfortable I’ve felt watching a movie in a WHILE. And it’s not even because of the act itself, it’s because of how...OK it feels in the context of the film. Jan is BARELY upset by this slimy little weasely-faced rapey CREEP LITERALLY ASSAULTING HER IN THE FUCKING CAR. And in case you were wondering, yes! This film was written by FOUR MEN.

This is gross. Sorry, but this whole sequence is gross, and it gets even LONGER, because she AGREES TO GO GET A DRINK WITH HIM. WHY, JAN? STOP ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR. He tries to get her drunk (but ends up drunk himself), but she tries to leave. However, who should be sitting one table but Brad, who realizes who this is. Jan tries to leave, but Tony tries to get her to dance with him, AND SHE ONCE AGAIN AGREES, JAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!

And its during this time of distress for Brad that, OF COURSE, he finds himself extremely attracted to her. And since he knows who she is, but she doesn’t know him, he decides to fake his identity. And there we go, we’ve got a creepy-ass one-sided relationship set-up.

Meanwhile, lightweight Tony passes out on the floor, drunk as shit. Brad goes into help, putting on a take Texas accent and calling himself Rex Stetson. And OF FUCKING COURSE, she’s lost in his fuckin’ eyes. Damn those eyes, and his suave bullshit.

They shove Tony into a cab, then take his car, which appears to be too small for Brad, which makes sense, given the fact that Hudson was 6′4″, goddamn! The two take a cab, and the two reveal their mutual attraction to the audience, through their inner thoughts. Looks like all Jan needed for a relationship was handsome-ass Rock Hudson.

In her thoughts, she thinks on how honest and down-to-earth Rex Stetson seems, unlike “monsters” like Tony and Brad Allen. And OF COURSE this is how we get this started. OF GODDAMN COURSE this is how we start this relationship. Liar revealed, LIAR REVEALED, I FUCKIN’ HATE THAT GODDAMN TROPE SO MUCH

Soon after “Rex” takes her home, he goes home herself, and gives her a call, inviting her to dinner the following night. She accepts. Then, in the middle of the call, Brad pretends to pick up the line as himself, in order to set up the two identities as being separate...this is reverse You’ve Got Mail, isn’t it?

Think about it. Two people that hate each other, and they’ve never seen one another, but also love each other after meeting in person. IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF YOU’VE GOT MAIL. Ugh. Fine. Even down to the fact that he has a sizeable advantage over her, due to his full knowledge of the situation. He even tries to use his identity as Brad Allen to set-up their date the next night for success.

And it works, goddamn. A clever yet manipulative asshole, this dude is. They get on a horse and carriage, and we hear the inner thoughts of Jan, Brad, and the dude who owns the horse. And, yeah...it’s funny. The two go to dinner, where Jonathan shortly arrives. Brad gets him out of there with...mildly fatphobic means, but it is the 1950s, so things were just kinda...entirely that.

But in any case, Brad gets away with it, and he and Jan spend a hell of a lot of time together going all around the city. And the whole time, he’s playing the role of “Rex.” Ugh. This is a good halfway point, so let’s go to Part 2 here! See you there!

[homosexualisopod]

So anyway here are my notes on the first episode of this fucking show:

I feel like I'm actively losing brain cells trying to watch The Strain, what even is this fucking dialogue

Distracted scientist father is a disheveled workaholic that excels at his work and doesn't know how to maintain a marriage cliche

MONSTER HEART???

Of course, obligatory partly nude scene

Why would the CDC be involved with a plane that's abandoned, normal people would assume it's a terror attack if anything

The monster pissed everywhere???? What kind of fucking- NO THEY SAID IT'S AMMONIA, THE MONSTER PISSED ALL OVER THE PASSENGERS

I'm still trying to comprehend the old man with the monster heart, what the fuck was the purpose of that scene

"I want you to back out of there, that door should be locked" Proceeds to ignore him and pokes the NOT DEAD BODIES, WOW, WHAT A S H O C K

Wow, the bad guy gets thirty seconds of a close up before he blinks his reptilian eyeballs

Why is the room cold enough that I can see their breath

Okay so one of the nazis from inglorious basterds is an alien and they know it

The CDC guy tells somebody they don't have to wear a mask around contaminated bodies, how smart

BRUH STRAIGHT UP WALKED AWAY

And the four people are the cHoSeN oNeS

"I'm Joan Les, I'm an attorney"

I hate the goth guy OH MY GOD IT'S A WIG

IT'S SERIOUSLY AN ANCIENT EVIL BOX, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

How many tropes can we fit in ONE FUCKING SCENE, JUST DON'T OPEN THE BOX IF YOUR SUPERIORS SAY DON'T TOUCH IT

WHY IS THE CDC INVOLVED WITH THIS THING?!?!

I want the kid dead. He's so fucking obnoxious, they could have found a kid with some fucking talent

THE FAKE TEXTING POPPING UP ON THE SCREEN, WHY ARE THEY BOTH TEXTING IN ALL CAPS LIKE IT'S A TELEGRAM. THE KID'S LIKE TWELVE FOR FUCK'S SAKE

I literally hate the entire cast so far

THE GRAMMAR. THE GERMAN OH MY G O D

Evil entity whispers in your ears but there's suddenly high pitched feedback asmr

This dude's so dead what the fuck

What is up with this shitty lighting, the whole show is yellow OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING. I'VE SEEN BETTER GRAPHICS ON A DOCTOR WHO EPISODE. AND HE JUST WHAT THE F U C K

The gangsters are unintelligible, asmr

NONE OF THIS FUCKING PLOT MAKES SENSE. IS IT ALIENS? DEMONS? ANCIENT CURSES? NAZIS? COVID ON ITS PERIOD?

Yeah he remembers being on Inglourious basterds, he held up three fingers in the right way

Was that New York police officer Canadian????

Old man is gay??????? Oh no he's unmedicated.

Press mobs the main character with questions at plot convenient times and the main character cannot give a speech to save his life asmr

WHAT WAS THAT SLAP

Why does he have a framed photo of his daughter at the airport

So why did the monster smash that guy's head when he didn't do that to anybody else

I'm sorry, Ephraim is such a stupid fucking name, they keep calling him Eph OH MY GOD THE OLD MAN IS ABRAHAM. THIS IS DEMONIC SHIT.

I have to tell you about this disease! But I cannot tell you anything crucial about it because I'll sound crazy, but while I'm being dragged away I'll shout strategically cryptic shit!

Literally nobody says the scientific names of animals in private chat, that's so pretentious

Okay so the worms were in the coffin, and now they're loose and everyone's gonna have worms and become a hive mind

ThE bOx Is StIlL aT tHe AiRpOrT THEY'RE GIVING A CDC EMPLOYEE TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE, HE'S NOT A FUCKING DETECTIVE

Please run Ephraim over, I'm begging you, kill him

WHY IS THE DOG BARKING THE BOX IS NOT FULL OF DRUGS IT'S FULL OF DIRT

You have got to be kidding me. They're just gonna let the box go, no gun fight.

AbNoRmAl MeOpLaSmS WHY IS HE NOT WEARING A HAZMAT SUIT

AND ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE WALK IN, BIG FUCKIN SURPRISE

Deceptively happy tune over a morbid death scene is deceptively happy

This man is not Armenian

ArE yOu A LiBrArIaN DUDE SHUT U P

So the old man is immortal? He was in a concentration camp, he had the numbers. OH MY GOD THE BAD GUY IS A NAZI, THE OLD MAN IS JEWISH. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHOW

Dialogue continues to drag on endlessly. I'd honestly rather listen to cats fucking

THE FUCKING RAT IS THIS GUY'S BROTHER, OF COURSE

Why is the theme love. What.

I hate this colour scheme still, it's so much saturation it makes my eyes hurt

OH SO THE INFECTED RETURN TO THE PEOPLE THEY LOVED THE MOST, WONDERFUL. THAT MAKES SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE. She's gonna eat him.

[youralternantpersonality]

Gaslighting

OC x Reader then Embry x Reader

Warning: abusive tactics are used in this first part.

Part 1: “Gaslight” by Snow Tha Product

Part 2: “New Me” by Ella Eyre

Part 3: “Falling for You” by Tamia

***

“Gaslighting: (verb) to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their sanity.”

Being young and in love has its perks and downfalls. Isaac and I have been together for about a year and a half now and everything was fine at first, until a few weeks after he asked me to officially be his girlfriend in the beginning.

Oh you a big money spendin' Man who gets the women Big bill droppin' Want it, then you got it Rollie face wearin' If she lookin', then she starin' If she starin', then she carin' But can't put a finger on it

He was supposed to be saving up for college. We had both planned on going to Washington State. Well, he had planned for us to go. I wanted to go to the nearby junior college since I had no idea what I wanted to do. I figured I would save a ton of money getting my basics out of the way by paying half of what I would at a University.

But instead of saving his money, he was buying random crap and flashing it to everyone. I’m talking about new shoes, chains, brand named clothes. Stuff that he could buy later, stuff that wasn’t necessary right now. He was strutting like Instagram influencers—the same people he hated the most and promised to never be like.

You a big game talker, every ex's your stalker You ain't ready for no relationship, but can talk to her You just want some company Every bitch you fuck with either crazy or amazing Then you shady as can fuckin' be

I would catch him constantly flirty and texting random numbers. When I called him out on it, he would call me crazy and make me feel bad for not trusting him. And of course, I’d feel bad and apologize even when he was in the wrong. I loved him after all.

You can't commit and that's your greatest talent Claim you're breaking hearts like back to back Deep inside there's somethin' less than average 'Bout the bitches that you claim to bag Somethin' 'bout the bracket that you at Maybe all the practice that you have Wouldn't do you any good where I'm at Class ain't somethin' you can pay to have

Gaslight pro (pro) Gaslight pro (pro)

Our break-up and make-up game lasted throughout Junior and Senior year. My friends constantly coming at me for not seeing his player ways. Me, not seeing the manipulation he was playing on me. The more I called him out on his bullshit, the more I was crazy, which made me angrier and more depressed.

And you could tell me lies Tell me, tell me lies Tell me I'm trippin' Tell me why, tell me I'm the one Then rewind to a gaslight pro (pro)

Oh you a fuckin' Prince Charming out in public I'm like "Yeah, yeah, yeah" Lead me on, then they leave Then it's back to never there Throw the blame out everywhere "No one can compare" yeah, yeah You just never wrong, but here's your problem Now, I don't care

It was a game with him. Everyone told me to stay away, but no one knew him as I knew him. No one knew the side of Isaac as I did. Behind those deep silver eyes and freckled face, you wouldn’t believe how much of a softy he was. It was like he would pull a 180 on everyone.

But that was the thing. No matter how many times you pull 180’s, you’re still doing a 360. And eventually, you’ll get dizzy and fall apart.

You playin' with my mind, somehow every time Pretty lies come right out your mouth, and that ain't right Gotta fuckin' draw the line I've been just your type Prey on any insecurity you fucking find Got me questionin' my memory You're a narcissist, intensity You startin' off the problem, causin' drama Then you got me second guessin' me And I don't give a fuck which house your Moon is What sign you are or how you grew up You're a fuckin' adult and you got to get it together You're a dick and you're manipulative as fuck, ugh

Gaslight pro (pro) Gaslight pro (pro)

“What the fuck Isaac! Are you serious?!” I yell at my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. Out in the open at school, making out with Francesca DeLaurentis, the bitches of all bitches in the school. The look of shock on his face couldn’t describe how he felt.

“Aw, what’s the matter? Mad that your ex finally has something worth living for?” She laughs as if that was my problem. I ignored her.

“Really?! You couldn’t have the balls to at least break up with me first before sleeping with the known walking STD of the school?!” that seemed to snap him out of his trance.

“Seriously? That’s the best you got. You know what, fine. I should have, but guess what chubs, I didn’t. Plus, I don’t know why I even bothered staying with you. Look at you, why would someone like me bothered staying with someone like you. Look at you, why would someone like me, who can be with this fine ass here” slapping Francesca’s nonexisting ass, “be with someone like you? A sloth. You’re lazy, you don’t bother to present yourself, and really, could you at least put on make-up. Give me something to look at.” He said as if I was the one holding him back and I was the problem.

“Fuck you!” I said, before knocking him in the face and storming off. Lousy piece of shit.

And you could tell me lies Tell me, tell me lies Tell me I'm trippin' Tell me why, tell me I'm the one Then rewind to a gaslight pro (pro)

Gaslight pro (pro) Gaslight pro (pro)

After that day, I threw everything of his that wasn’t worth money away. Sold what I could (thankfully his dumbass left a lot of valuable things here) and kept up with school. As soon as graduation was over with, he’d be gone and a thing of the past. And I couldn’t be happier about that.

It was painful, to be honest, but throughout that time “with” him, by slowly stepping away from him emotionally, it became easy leaving him for good.

And you could tell me lies Tell me, tell me lies Tell me I'm trippin' Tell me why, tell me I'm the one Then rewind to a gaslight pro (pro)

And you could tell me lies Tell me, tell me lies Tell me I'm trippin' Tell me why, tell me I'm the one Then rewind to a gaslight pro (pro)

Pulling up to the school the following week, was like a ton of weightlifting and falling on my shoulders. It was both painful and satisfying. Painful because I had to endure my ex, satisfying because my support group was here. Graduation and summer is only 2 months away and I couldn’t wait to start a semi-new life.

“Hey! Y/n!” Clair, my best friend, called out to me.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Did you hear the big news?”

“Francesca finally got pregnant?”

“No, well, maybe. But no,” she looks over my shoulder and smiles, “Someone had a nice glow-up.” I looked at her with questionable eyes and followed her eyesight. And boy was I glad. Embry Call struts the hallway as if he was a piece of gold crafted by God. He’d always been adorable, cute, and charming. Quiet and conservative among his friends.

“Hot damn,” I said under my breath. And it was like he heard me; he looked at me straight in the eyes and stopped in the hallway. At that moment, I felt warm and fuzzy—it was weird. His mouth opened a little and a grin grew on his face. His friends, Jared Cameron and Paul Lahote nudged him and followed his eyesight. They looked at each other and started laughing and pushing one another. Embry looked at them and said something before they started shoving each other.

“What I’d kill to be under anyone of them,” Clair said.

“I call dibs on Embry,” I said looking at her. She looked back at me and smiled then shrugged her shoulders.

“That’s fine, give me Paul for the night and I’m good.”

“Gasp! What about Quil? Your future husband and father of your kids.” I say dramatically and quietly to ourselves. She smiles and rolls her eyes.

“Oh, he’s still my baby daddy. I just want to try him for a night.” She says, like the hoe (metaphorically) she is.

“As long as I get Jared, I think we’ll be okay.” Kim walks up to us watching the rowdy 3 boys in the hallway. The bell rings, signaling the warning before class starts.

“Well girls, let's get our asses in there,” I said with faults determination. I look back and see Embry watching me. I smile and turn away. Unknowing to either one of us, another set of eyes was watching closely nearby.

[flashfuture]

Kyle sitting Conner down and just asking him, in the straight forward way they do with each other, if they were dating before everything went screwy and he needs a straight answer, Conn not wanting to lie replies yes, they were for a few years but his friendship was always something he treasured before that and Kyle just takes his hands says he is very lucky and Conn asks why “because he got to fall in love with Conner Hawke, twice, in one lifetime,” and starts rattling off things he remembers tucking a hair behind Conner’s ear. “I mean, how lucky am I?” (Really cheese but if he called him by a nickname that, well, only he would use like an Irish pet name and that’s when Conn realizes oh shit I finally have this back, it be a moment)

Conn and Kyle sitting in bed and just allowing themsleves to enjoy the morning with their coffee and laughing about this and that, work and “work,” and ending up watching bad reruns of old sitcoms or bad b movies from the blockbuster (or if you correct the timeline for modernity, the WORSt of netflix cheesy romcoms that Kyle loves totally ironically he swears.) Kyle said that if Conn was an animal he be a cat but if he basks in the sun any longer he’s seriously considering him classifying him as a plant. Conn rolls his eyes, and bumps tjeir shoulders together. Just the domestic and nicest memories coming back slowly. And Kyle being very confused at Conn’s stance they were just bros.

POOR WALLY, he be like “I can’t do this again,” but his ass would so try to get them back together because if Conn remembers and Kyle doesn’t, he knows how fuckin shitty that can be and he is their friends, even if Kyle’s oblivious atm. He is gonna fucking do what he can, gonna speedrun this slow burn. Hell yeah, Diana, truly the kindest mom friend to the JLA, tho by the time the 90’s kids were around she was more of a grandma friend. She probably asks Wally 20 times if he’s eating well and how Iris is.

Awww them laughing and holding each other no matter who is watching them, that is so darn cute. But also totally in line with their relationship. I can imagine Kyle tackling Conn and just having them float and hug because that’s the only way I can see Kyle holding anyone up for long periods of time. He is a man of many talents but having muscle mass aint one of them. But then there is like; the other option of Kyle dropping down and taking a running start at Conn and tackling him that way. Either way, they are really happy to see each other again, it’s the same vibes as when Wally got Linda back after she was earsed from the timeline. (Which, 90’s boys once again—Linda/Wally and ConnerKyle double dates please)

Hal being confused older brother noises is really funny to imagine cause this is a lot of emotion for this reunion.

Ha like the reverse of the way we had them getting together. With Conn sitting Kyle down and confessing. 

Wally is just shrieking in the background like “STOP FRIENDZONING EACH OTHER” 

Hal is like “Walls what did I miss with them?”

“Everything Uncle Hal, everything”

Conn spent his teenage years in a Monastery and had somehow never heard of Christmas. As well as moving a lot and being expelled from 4 elementary schools and 3 boys reform schools by the age of 13 well pop culture isn’t his thing. So Kyle makes it his goal to show Conn the best of the best. Kyle is of course a dorky bisexual disaster artist so his movies can be odd choices. Kyle shows Conn hairspray multiple times I’ve decided. because my cousins always want to watch hairspray for some reason and I’m projecting. Also Disney and every animated movie Kyle can find. Yes of course the romcoms. (Kyle is so a Hallmark movie slut) 

Yess to the double dates. I also can’t decide between a twirling hug in the air or a tackling hug to the ground. One of 2 would be great.

[antonradke-music]

DJ’s: YOU AREN’T PRODUCERS. TAKE THAT WORD OUT OF YOUR SOCIAL BIOS.

Possibly controversial opinion:

TLDR: DJ's: If you're not posting original music, edits, remixes, or anything of the sort. Please don't put "producer" in your SoundCloud bio. It's alot like that guy in High School who would say "Yea man I play guitar, I shred like, all the time" then you hand him a guitar and he just starts goin ham with a poorly executed and under-practiced "Smoke on the Water" or "Enter Sandman" opening riff. On repeat. The entire time he plays. Except with DJ/Producers you can't just hand someone a laptop to "hear them shred on a DAW" so its alot easier to get away with in our EDM world.

FULL RANT: There is a huge difference between "DJ" and "Producer" and there isn't a single thing wrong with just being a "DJ" and not both. People still need and want DJ mixes. There's zero shame in admitting that you don't, or don't know how to, produce music.

  It only bugs me (and to be clear, it doesn't even bug me all that much) coz producers like myself and my friends spend countless hours learning and mastering our craft, so that title of "producer" is somewhat earned in my opinion. You can't just download a DAW and say "I'm a producer" if you've never once truly used it.

  Producers create. DJ's mix. If your SC page is only mixes, you're a DJ. If your SC page contains original content/music you created yourself, then there's nothing wrong with adding that "producer" bit in your bio. Even if what you're posting is ID's, WIPs, ideas, bootlegs, etc. It doesn't need to be fully finished and mastered music.  If you created it, you produced it, you are a producer on some level (beginner/intermediate/TUNE GOD, etc)

If you're a DJ now, and are just now learning to produce, just wait until you start posting/uploading your tunes. THEN add that fabled "producer" title to your socials.

  I'm also not alone. Myself and several of my producer friends have expressed at least some frustration towards the DJ's that both call themselves a producer in their socials and even (sometimes) out in public. It can definitely be a "wtf" moment (and this has literally happened to me before) when you are talking to someone, be it an Entertainment/Booking manager or a bigger DJ, telling them about your music and your work. Then another DJ shows up and starts doing the same. But you know that person, and you're aware of the fact that they've never made a tune or have even tried to start learning.

  Now there's the possibility that someone who's never worked on tunes in their life could get the credit or booking that you were working so hard for, and they didn't spend a minute doing the same. They just happen to be VERY good at talking to promoters, knowing what they want to hear, and manipulating the truth to fit a narrative that will get them hired or booked. And this has happened to me. They ended up getting a better time slot than me as they grossly exaggerated their SoundCloud stats, and played a song to the promoter by an underground artist claiming that it was their own. I kept my mouth shut. I should have spoken up, but I didn't think his ploy would work and I was new to that particular local scene, I wanted to avoid burning bridges or looking salty/bad. His set ended up being really rough, he'd lied about knowing CDJ gear (he didn't), spent an hour trainwrecking almost every transition, the dance floor was empty by the end of his set, he left the venue in a hurry afterwards and I've never seen him since.

Unfortunately it's not like many local event managers actually care. They just want a good DJ, and they'll often believe you if you tell them you're more than just a DJ. They likely don't have a reason to doubt you, and often don't care enough to check the validity of those claims. Or maybe they don't even know the difference between "DJ" and "Producer"

So in in summary: DJ's. You're not producers. Not unless you make your own music/Unless you are a creator. And just for the record, opening a DAW, playing with Serum for a few minutes, and tossing a few loops into a bus/channel doesn't count. Take the time to learn properly how to write progressions/melodies, program sequences, mix-down your track elements, structure your tune and bonus points for doing it all without presets (learn sound design) and without loops (learn drum & pattern sequencing) If you have that DAW installed, you're already sooo much farther ahead than tons of others in your position. Hit up YouTube for some tutorials and you're on your way! 

In Conclusion: Please. Please. PLEASE don't take credit for the kind of work producers spend up to 10-15 hours a track doing (my average time to finish a song entirely). You could cost a talented soul a gig or time slot they've been busting their asses for for years. There really isn't anything wrong with being JUST a DJ. Its a good thing, and still a valid and useful skillset with tons of work/gig opportunities. I played plenty of gigs before I really started calling myself a "producer". You may not get the best timeslots as compared to producers. But be honest with yourself, you could be a fantastic DJ, but who most deserves good timeslots at events? The guys with something to promote. A product to offer. And that product is their creative content/music/whatever. And that guy could be you, you just need to take the time to learn and work hard at honing your craft and skillsets.

  Soooo take "producer" out of your bio if all you're posting is mixes and mashups. And if your bio says it, or you identify as a Producer, you better expect me to fuckin test you on it cause I will. Immediately. And if you don’t pull a home made, non-plagiarizing, ORIGINAL piece of creative expression/content out of your ass in that very moment then I swear to Cthulhu I will perform a social/career crucifixion (alot like “social/career suicide” except I do it to you) on you. Your ‘music career’ ends right there on the spot, ESPECIALLY if you play some underground artist and act like its your music and take credit for it. That’s just so far from ok. And I WILL notice. I was an underground non commercial radio DJ for over 2 years. and a lifelong enthusiast all around. Trust me. I will know. So just be honest with yourself, and others. Please, and thank you.

           - Signed, bedroom producers the world over.

PS - I’m SERIOUS guys. I won't stay silent next time. If I see a DJ try to take credit for another artists work (especially while talking to promoters, and especially taking credit for underground artists work) I will shut that shit down instantly. I will ensure they're instacancelled on the spot and won't play a gig in that area ever again. Plagiarism is NOT COOL. Don't plagiarize. Seriously. You will never have a career in music if you make Plagiarism a part of your “strategy for success” in the music industry. And I will personally work towards ensuring that. (example: I still to this day convert people to the cancellation of DJ Bl3nd. That POS blatantly ripped off so many artists, and is a perfect PERFECT example of a DJ claiming to be a producer. But isn’t. AND he used plagiarism + ghost producers COMBINED to make it seem like he was a producer) I don’t care if you do end up learning to produce after the fact and start making decent tunes.. If you plagiarize and try to use it to advance your career, I will do everything I can to stop you. For ever. 

P.P.S. - For those of you DJ's who are learning to produce, don't take any offense to this rant its not directed at you guys, and please PLEASE don't get discouraged. You're likely not even applicable to this rant as you're actually working towards the title. So let me help you in that, below this text I'll be linking a few awesome YouTube producer channels who upload educational music/producer content. As well as some links to great sample/drum kits and more useful tools to help in your learning curve. I am also always available for producing tips and advice, just send me a direct message or comment on this post and I'll give you the best answer from my own experience/abilities/knowledge. Thanks for taking the time to read this ridiculous and stupidly long rant. I hope you can see where I’m coming from. And I’m sure many actual producers can agree with a lot of my points and reasoning. Have a good one. Peep my tunes if you have some time. Peace and deuces to all! -Anton Radke

www.soundcloud.com/antonradke www.facebook.com/antonradkemusic booking/collabs/commissions/general inquiries/demos: antonradkemusic@gmail.com

Resources and tools for learning producers: Some production education channels on YouTube that I highly recommend:

Dylan Tallchief has some fantastic tutorials for many different EDM genres which cover more than just production. He talks in depth about music theory, sound design. All of it. He shows how to use both Ableton and FL Studio. HIGHLY RECOMMMEND this channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIu2Fj4x_VMn2dgSB1bFyQA

For rap/hip-hop producers, I recommend watching videos made by these two gentlemen: 

Praxi Plays covers tons of genres/sub genres, and different styles of commercial, and less than commercial rap/hip hop music. He teaches using FL Studio:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAE7Doxo5WQRjLPz7JYa7Fw If you prefer darker, more underground rap music, or just less than commercial stuff in general, Based Gutta covers tons of styles of rap beats from the underground rap culture. He’s great, and also pretty hilarious. Also uses FL Studio. Oh and he does Lo-Fi stuff a whole lot as well:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTrrlfsv-5IBQ1SgPBawT3w

COMPOSERILY is also a good one. But a lot less serious. His videos are definitely more parody and satire than anything, but there’s still lots you can learn from watching him. Tons of useful stuff in his videos. He also does both Ableton and FL Studio depending on the song/artist he’s trying to sound like.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8Ujq8PBm0MWraaXd8MsIAQ

For drums and other samples, I highly recommend getting a Splice Account. Its incredible So many options! And you can download individual sounds. You don’t have to download an entire sample pack if you just want one kick drum that it happens to have which is great. A good brokeboi alternative would be Looperman. Its basically a discount/Wal-Mart level “Splice” style service but free.

www.Splice.com

www.looperman.com

Some useful sample kits I recommend getting for the sake of drum sequencing/programming:

XFER Pack by Steve Duda and deadmau5 (great for house and 4/4 edm genres) 

BIGHEAD Sample Pack by BigHead (available on Splice) [great for trap/rap/hiphop] 

literally ANY vengeance or cymatics sample pack will also be a great choice for practically any type of bass music. Face it. Bass music drums are boring and are all almost IDENTICAL from song to song (with the exception of the kick drum) so any Vengeance or Cymatics dubstep sample kit will do you justice here.

VSTs to consider: EDM: Sylenth1 (must have), Razor (underrated), Massive, Serum (must have), U-He Diva, Nexus (overrated but useful), Dblue Glitch, DBlue Tapestop, Engineers Filter (free, amazing Equalizer. deadmau5 approved), CamelCrusher, OTT (overrated but useful), Cthulhu (MIDI sequencer programmed by deadmau5, hella cool but confusing)

Rap Music VSTs to consider: Omnisphere. that’s it. I’m not kidding. A talented producer armed with Omnisphere, and a decent drum sample kit, who is very good at sampling and writing melody/progression can create THOUSANDS of Grammy worthy rap/trap beats without even once reusing an Omnisphere preset.  Its like Nexus. Except it truly doesn’t suck, and is worth the absurd price tag.

-Anton Radke  www.soundcloud.com/antonradke www.facebook.com/antonradkemusic booking/collabs/commissions/general inquiries/demos: antonradkemusic@gmail.com