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demigodforfend · 1 year ago

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Twilight of the Demigods: Forfend Edition - Session 30

"Took you all a while to get back here," Howell started. "So what have you all been doing these past several hours?"

"I took some time to do some smithing. New weapons. New armor." It took a short step forward. "More importantly, however, may I cast Remove Curse on you?"

"Why?" Howell paused. "Oh. For the... Yeah, go ahead."

Forfend nodded. It approached and gently touched Howell's shoulder.

Magic coursed from it with a soft orange glow and spread throughout Howell's body. With all the practice it had gotten recently, Forfend recognized Despot Falco's demigod magic immediately. It seized the malignant energy and crushed it out.

Forfend withdrew its oversized hand and tilted its head at Howell.

Howell's one visible eye squinted. He glanced himself over and patted his chest. "That was, ah, that was a bit weird. Is it gone now?"

Forfend nodded. "Feels better?"

Howell shrugged. He shuffled foot to foot. "A bit of warm magic flooded through me, so I guess it feels better." He blinked, touching his chest again. "Unless you're burning me alive from the inside out."

Forfend recoiled at the idea. It vehemently shook its head. "No! No, of course not!"

"Alright, then I think I feel better," he decided.

Forfend nodded quickly.

"You did crafting," Howell restated, gesturing at Forfend. "What about the rest of you guys? Also, who's this one?"

He cocked his head at Vesper, eyeing the purple tiefling and his basket of what was clearly Howell's giant arrows.

Vesper's tail straightened and fluffed up as his whole back went briefly rigid. He seemed to put effort into schooling himself back into a more relaxed position.

The whole display happened with such speed Forfend wondered if anyone else had seen it.

Vesper stared awkwardly at Howell for a moment, then looked to Forfend.

"This is Vesper," Forfend took the hint and introduced the anxious man. "He is a new ally of ours."

"Vesper," Howell tested out the name.

He strode straight to Vesper and stared up into his face, scrutinizing. "What can you do?"

"Well," Vesper almost mumbled. He cleared his throat and spoke with more confidence, "There is the casting of magic. There is the speaking with the dead. And there is the... carrying these." He shuffled the bundle of arrows, causing them to clank against each other.

Speaking with the dead. That was certainly an interesting talent. Befitting of an undertaker, but concerning just the same.

Forfend hoped Vesper wasn't a necromancer.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," Vesper finished.

"Those mine?" Howell asked despite obviously knowing the answer.

"Yes. You want them back?"

Howell drew in a deep breath. He seemed to assess Vesper's posture again. "I can always make more. Besides, you could use them to stab someone with."

"That is a possibility." Vesper reconsidered the arrows in his arms and nodded to himself.

Howell turned to Melzaryn. He gestured over Vesper, but also to Forfend and Kagoshi. "You trust them?"

Melzaryn hummed to himself for a moment before deciding to nod.

"That's good enough for me," Howell said. "I've gone ahead and hired some mercenaries who should be able to turn the tide of battle for us. They're from the Valley of Glass, so they're adept in arcane arts as well as martial combat. They should be able to make do. They're already waiting inside the Teleportation Hub." He folded his arms. "So what's the plan? How are we getting back?"

Forfend looked immediately to Melzaryn.

Melzaryn spread his hands. "I intend to provide some means of magical teleportation. There are a few options and I'm not sure which one we'll need to take yet. One is almost risk free. Another is probably only dangerous to me. The last one could endanger all of us. We'll see."

"How many could each one transport?" Howell asked.

"Depends." Melzaryn smiled his unhelpful, inscrutable smile.

"What exactly are the options?" Howell pressed.

"My mother is searching for a magic item that would be able to get us all there. It would only work once, but it's pretty much a guaranteed safe bet. I could also request the college's help, but I'd have to pay them back somehow. That's the risky part. And the last option is to get help from my sister." Melzaryn grinned again, but he looked decidedly nervous this time.

"Your sister?" Howell schooled his tone firmly into neutral but his expression betrayed his own apprehension even through the wealth of cloth over his face.

"Yeah, I'm sure that she can build something," Melzaryn said. He shrugged. "It just might explode."

"It explodes... or we explode?"

"Now that's the question, isn't it?" Melzaryn giggled, but everyone else took an unsettled half-step back.

"That's also not really an answer," Howell grumbled.

"I'll give you a proper answer just as soon as I have one."

"Great," Howell deadpanned.

"I mean, this one hasn't exploded." Melzaryn gestured to a mechanical snake curled across his shoulders.

The constructed creature moved and acted with all the grace and watchfulness of the flesh and bone animal it was modeled after. Frankly, Forfend was impressed. The machinated rarely emulated the natural so fluidly.

It was curious how Moli could both be so skilled and apparently so dangerous. Maybe she was like Fletch and sometimes let her eccentricity take her further than she should.

Howell watched the metal serpent for a moment. He scratched at the back of his neck. "Have you heard back from anybody yet?"

"Not yet, no," Melzaryn shook his head. "Of course, I also haven't asked Moli yet. That's a bit of a last resort. I'm more or less expecting my mother to contact me when she's ready."

The mechanical snake's head suddenly swiveled toward Melzaryn. Its jaw dropped open.

"Hey, uh, Mel?" Moli asked in a tinny voice that seemed to originate from somewhere within the snake's mouth. "I think Mom wants to talk to you? Here, hold on." Her voice grew more muffled. "Here, Mom, just speak into this."

"Is this working?" someone, presumably Melzaryn's mother, nearly yelled. The tinny, buzzing voice screeched sharply when the volume grew too loud for the speaker. "Hello? Mel? Is this working?"

"It is working," Moli promised. "Just speak into the--"

"Hello?" the speaker squealed painfully loudly as Melzaryn's mother raised her voice even further.

"You don't have to yell!" Moli sounded exasperated. "Just speak into it. You got it."

"Hello, Mel." This time the volume was finally at a level the speaker could properly process.

Apparently unfazed by the uncoordinated back-and-forth, Melzaryn simply replied, "Excellent timing. We were just wondering when and how this would happen."

"Of course, darling," Melzaryn's mother hummed. "I was able to procure a magic item for you from one of the deeper vaults. It's a spell scroll of Teleport, or, well, moreso Teleportation Circle. It should let you Teleport everyone in your group to a location of your choosing."

Melzaryn glanced around the group and mentally counted out everyone who would be returning. "It'll definitely take everyone?"

"It's something of an experimental spell. Very high level. It's almost a mix between the two spells, taking aspects from both. According to the description I've got here, you simply draw the magic circle on the ground using the spell scroll and anyone who'd like to be transported needs to walk through it within six seconds. You need to have your intended location in mind when you draw the circle and you need to be familiar with it. You wouldn't want to appear in the middle of the aether." She giggled. "I'm sure you'll be able to handle it, son."

"Utterly fascinating," Melzaryn nodded once.

"I did have to pull some strings in order to procure it," she said, "but this will do for your use, correct?"

Melzaryn glanced at Howell, a sly smile on his face.

"If it's a circle, it should fit all of us," Howell figured. "Well, the big one may have some trouble." He tilted his head toward Forfend. "But I think it should still work."

Forfend hummed quietly to itself.

"Excellent," Melzaryn nodded again. "That sounds perfect."

"Splendid!" his mother announced. "Absolutely Splendid!" Her voice grew very quiet, distant. "Moli, do you have a way of transporting this to your brother?"

"Yeah, of course. I've got it, Mom," Moli answered. "I'll send another bird. I'll have to make another bird... It'll be fine! Don't worry about it."

"Thank you. Melzaryn, be safe and do arrive home again relatively soon. But most importantly, don't get stabbed. Or, if you do get stabbed, let me know."

Melzaryn sighed. "Trust me, I'm not looking for a third stab wound," he grumbled bitterly.

"Please do be careful," his mother begged.

"I'll do my best," Melzaryn promised.

"Thank you." Her voice grew quiet again. "Moli, how do I turn this off?"

"Don't touch--" Moli cut herself off with a gasp. "Here, just let me, uh--"

The speaker made a loud boop and the snake snapped its mouth closed.

"So does that mean we're just waiting for something?" Howell asked.

"Well, the last time anything bird-related showed up, it was a bit weird," Melzaryn offered. "It bumped into a window, I let it in, and it gave me things. I assume we're waiting for that."

Right on cue, a mechanical bird tumbled to the ground at Melzaryn's feet. It rolled twice, bounced back upright, spread its wings, and shook itself off.

"And that right there is the reason Moli had to rebuild it," Melzaryn noted.

He crouched down and held his hand out.

The bird's head popped forward and craned upward on thin metal scaffolds that ejected from the neck. Once it was eye-level with Melzaryn, its beak dropped open.

"Hello. This is for you," it said in a voice too deep and too monotonous.

Forfend hoped it wasn't that disconcerting when it spoke.

"Caw," the bird added after a moment of thought.

The creature spread its wings again and a panel on its back popped open. A metal grasper thrust from within the compartment beneath, a spell scroll in its clenched metal prongs.

The second Melzaryn's fingers brushed the scroll, the grasper released it.

"Thank you," he told the bird. He turned around to address the group. "Alright, so–"

"On a scale of one to ten," the bird suddenly piped up again, "how would you rate my performance?"

"Right, um..." Melzaryn looked the little creature over.

"That landing was definitely a three," Kagoshi commented.

Melzaryn touched the scuffed, dented stone floor where the bird had landed and nodded his agreement.

"I'm going to have to give you an eight for this one," he decided.

"Understood." The mechanical beast seemed slightly disappointed not to have gotten a perfect score. "Self-destructing."

"Whoa, okay!" Melzaryn rapidly scrambled backwards.

Something inside the mechanical bird exploded, bloating the metal with the barely-contained force. The creature fell into a thousand tiny broken pieces.

Vesper raised an eyebrow at the scene. He plucked a card from the ever-shuffling deck in his hands, frowned at it, and tucked it away again.

Forfend knelt down to inspect the shattered metal. "Why destroy the creature and the material like this?"

It didn't get an answer.

Melzaryn was already busy unrolling the spell scroll and realizing it was much larger than it first appeared. "Oh, this is a big one."

"Why is it a carpet?" Kagoshi grumbled.

"Big writing?" Melzaryn guessed. "I don't want to open it fully up until we're ready to use it."

"Well, now's the time, isn't it?" Howell prodded. "We're on a pretty tight time constraint, aren't we? We're in a hurry. We need to move as fast as we can."

Melzaryn nodded. "That's true."

"Then what are we waiting for?" As soon as the words left Howell's mouth, he straightened up and looked toward the Teleportation Hub.

"Probably the rest of that group you mentioned," Melzaryn teased.

"Right." Howell sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "Let me go get my guys."

With that, he left.

A few minutes later, he returned with a trio of mercenaries dressed very similar to himself. All of them were covered in fabric that would blend easily with the desert sands.

One stark difference, though, was that none of them obscured their faces the way Howell chose to.

Some of them wore bits and pieces of armor sporting metal that was such sharply polished silver that it resembled glass more than anything else.

The mercenaries sized up Forfend and its allies.

Kagoshi returned the sentiment, watching them all with a vaguely hostile air.

Forfend knelt and nodded politely to them.

"So you're the ones that hired us to help kill a despot king, yes?" one of them said, stepping forward slightly. "A bit of regicide?"

"Yes," Kagoshi growled. "Preferably with my bare hands."

The mercenary's eyes lit up. "Ooh, this'll be fun!"

Another mercenary swatted him on the back of the head. "Hey! We're being professional here!"

"Ah, let me have a bit of fun. Anyway, I'm ready to go whenever you are."

"I like this one," Kagoshi said.

The first mercenary grinned uncannily.

"Don't encourage him," the second sighed.

"Why not?" Kagoshi questioned.

"He killed a cat yesterday."

Forfend startled. It looked to Howell, who grimaced, and then to the third mercenary, who maintained the same flat silence he'd held this entire time.

Forfend hissed steam deep and slow.

It seemed they had a quiet mercenary, a serious one, and a crazy one. What a combination.

"Reprehensible," Forfend finally found its voice.

Vesper glared at the unhinged mercenary, his tail swishing swiftly beneath his cloak.

Melzaryn found himself an interesting ceiling tile to observe.

"Alright, well, fuck this guy," Kagoshi changed his mind.

"Like I said: don't encourage him," the serious mercenary reiterated.

"Aw, come on, it was just one little creature," the crazy one complained. "It was stealing our food."

"I gave it that food!" the serious one snapped.

"Semantics!"

Vesper narrowed his eyes. "You know, you are a little creature compared to some and I'm sure you will bleed the same."

"I guarantee it," the crazy one hissed, reveling in the idea. "Can't wait."

Forfend shuddered, humming its disapproval in a low tone.

"Please don't encourage him," the serious one begged.

"That's some serious sadomasochism," Melzaryn noted.

"You have no idea."

Vesper shared a glance with the quiet mercenary and subtly shook his head. He paused a moment and tilted his head. He tilted further, further, until he threatened to knock himself off balance. He stumbled, straightened, and awkwardly cleared his throat.

Forfend cocked its own head at the odd behavior and the quiet mercenary seemed to share its confusion.

Vesper pointedly looked at no one, his ears tilted down and burning red.

"Are you alright?" it asked.

Vesper gestured vaguely at the quiet mercenary. "The... The kit-- The cat."

"What cat?" Kagoshi asked.

Vesper's tail slowed and disappeared beneath his cloak. "Nevermind."

"Alright." Kagoshi shrugged. "You're being weird, but alright."

"No weirder than you."

"That is true," Forfend nodded.

Kagoshi huffed. "What did I do?! I haven't done anything yet!"

"The key word is yet," Howell mumbled.

"The plan is to kill a disgraced king! I plan to do that!" Kagoshi seemed to be trying to get them back on track in his own strange way.

"It will be a fun hobby to pick up," Vesper added.

"Oh yes, regicide!" the unhinged mercenary shouted with almost lustful glee.

"Shut up!" the serious one yelled.

Kagoshi jabbed a finger into the crazy mercenary's chest. "You shut the fuck up before you're next on the list."

The man raised his chin and grinned. "Oh, come on now, we're all on the same side for the moment, aren't we?"

"No," Vesper said immediately.

"Only until Falco's dead," Kagoshi contradicted.

Melzaryn looked over everyone and folded his arms neatly behind his back. "Well, it's going to be a battlefield. A lot will go down and a lot will go unseen. Watch your own backs."

The quiet mercenary looked pointedly at the crazy one and stared daggers.

Forfend wondered if all Howell's mercenaries would be making it back from this, or if one of them would intentionally allow the unhinged one to disappear.

"We're wasting daylight," Howell interjected. "What are we doing? Are we leaving?" He paused and glanced over his little band of mercenaries before looking apologetically back to Melzaryn. "Also, if you're wondering why I got these guys, it's because they're the only ones who'd do this job for only a favor in return. I don't have any money on me right now. It was pretty much all taken."

Melzaryn chuckled. "They'll manage. Probably. Is everyone prepared?"

"As prepared as we are going to be," Forfend hummed. "Unless we would like to discuss a plan first."

"Do any of you guys have one?" Howell asked. "Because I'm going to be completely frank, I have no idea how to fight what we're going to fight."

"Well, in my experience, it's just attack and don't let Falco touch you. Unless you have a way to turn off magic items, that's about all we've got," Melzaryn said.

Howell nodded. "Before we try to come up with anything solid, we should scout the place out first. Try to get the lay of the land."

"Luckily, I don't intend to drop us into the middle of the fight," Melzaryn shared. "So we should be good there."

"Where are you dropping us?"

"There's a resistance outside Cragwall and my staff was imbued with magic there. I should be able to use that as a focus to get us back there." Melzaryn trailed his fingers along the staff and fiddled with its odd spinning chamber.

"Alright. Ready and waiting," Howell reported. He glanced over at his band of mercenaries.

The crazy one nodded eagerly. The quiet one continued to glare at him. The serious one simply nodded.

"Everybody group up close together then," Melzaryn ordered. "I'm not sure exactly how big this thing will be or if it'll activate immediately."

Everyone huddled tightly against each other.

Melzaryn unfurled the scroll in one smooth motion. He crouched down over the enormous thing and read the runes adorning the elaborate magic circle.

"Great." Melzaryn straightened. "Everyone, get into place around the scroll. When I tap my staff to the center, it'll activate and we'll all need to go through it as quickly as we can."

Everyone spread out.

Melzaryn reached out to touch his staff to the circle, but paused. He looked pointedly at the unhinged mercenary who nearly vibrated with anticipation. "A reminder: no stabbing until we tell you to."

The mercenary deflated, pouting. "Okay, fine."

"Most of the Envema members are victims," Forfend added. "Actually, I believe they all are, save Despot Falco himself."

"I wasn't worried about Envema. I'm worried about the genasi we're about to meet," Melzaryn griped.

"I am worried about everyone around this man. He has already murdered a cat.”

"It was stealing food," the man in question whined.

"I gave it to him!" the serious mercenary yelled.

Melzaryn stepped into the circle and touched his staff to it before the argument could progress any further.

Immediately, a beam of pearlescent white magic consumed him.

Kagoshi stepped through right on Melzaryn's heels, his form dissipating as he passed through the magic.

Howell and his band went next.

Forfend turned to Vesper, but he was watching it.

It nodded and stepped into the circle.

White filled its vision like a blanket of snow and a sense of weightlessness whisked it off its feet.

A moment later, all of its considerable bulk came back to it. Uneven ground slipped from beneath its overlarge feet. It fell with a resounding thud.

Ko'Dan rose, pulling himself together out from beneath the group's intruding feet.

"Apologies," Melzaryn yelped as he deftly leapt off Ko'Dan.

Kagoshi managed his own graceful landing.

The quiet mercenary gasped and tumbled onto his rear much like Forfend had.

Howell and the rest of the mercenaries managed to stagger off the rising tower of emerald and stone and vine.

Vesper slipped and scrambled on all fours like a startled animal to flee the huge elemental.

Ko'Dan, startled by their sudden appearance, clasped his fists together and bore down on the first thing he saw.

Unfortunately, that was Forfend.

It didn't flinch. This was their fault for landing on him.

Luckily, Ko'Dan recognized it and halted just short of striking it.

"I am sorry," Forfend hummed, ducking its head.

Ko'Dan stepped back, a rockfall tumbling as he spoke his language. He eyed the lot of them with his featureless gem-and-vine face.

Forfend rose slowly to its feet and dusted itself off. "Again, I apologize. We have returned to help."

The sound of ice cracking and wind howling escaped Ko'Dan as he cocked his head to inspect the gaggle of new additions: Kagoshi, Howell, Vesper, and the three mercenaries.

Vesper's tail bristled, the fur standing like hackles. He looked outwardly calm, but he stood as far from Ko'Dan as he could. He was scared. Terrified, even.

Forfend found itself wondering why. Vesper hadn't responded so severely to meeting it and Ko'Dan was larger, more regal, more imposing than it was, but not by some immeasurable margin.

He only demanded a little more respect and reverence, and it was surely owed to him. He was not a person to be feared by an ally of the genasi.

Ko'Dan made a sound like dust settling after a sandstorm. He looked out over the group of staring genasi and raised one enormous hand as he voiced the clamor of a torrential downpour.

The genasi startled, backing away.

Forfend grimly noted how many of them were injured.

A genasi with rose quartz hair and beach white skin recognized Forfend and Melzaryn. He cautiously approached.

"Oh, the saviors are here!" he said.

Forfend's chest lit up reddish-orange. It wasn't wholly certain how it felt about such a title. There was so much more work to be done before anyone could be considered saved.

"Who are the newcomers?" the genasi questioned. "Are you alright?"

The man's arm was immobilized in a sling, but he was worried for them after they'd only suffered an embarrassing entrance.

"Are you?" it asked, healing magic warming its fingertips. It held back the urge to expend the magic now. The injury was far from fatal and Forfend would need every last drop of divine energy to stop Despot Falco.

"Yes," he nodded. "Though a number of us were injured defending the people, but now you're here to help!"

"To the best of our ability," it hummed.

The genasi looked past Forfend to Ko'dan. "I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Our protector, Ko'dan, was wondering whether or not the new ones here could be trusted."

"Yes," Forfend answered immediately.

"Understood," the genasi smiled.

Forfend suddenly thought better of its statement.

"Well, keep an eye on him." It pointed out the unhinged mercenary.

"Why?" the crazy mercenary whined.

"He killed a cat," Kagoshi supplied.

The genasi man grimaced. He translated to Ko'Dan in the rustle of dry fall leaves.

Ko'Dan visibly recoiled. He stared harshly down at the unstable mercenary.

Howell sighed and dragged a heavy hand down his cloth-covered face. "They were the only ones who'd work for only the promise of a favor."

Ko'Dan rattled like branches in a hurricane and pointed toward the exit.

"He says River and the others are at the entrance to the lair," the genasi translated. "They're keeping an eye out, but as far as we can tell, Envema doesn't know the location of this place."

Forfend nodded once. "Good."

"Time may change that," Kagoshi said, unnecessarily ominous.

"Let us hope not," Forfend hummed.

Ko'Dan rumbled and thundered in much the same way as a volcano.

"Ko'Dan thanks you," the genasi said. "We were able to retrieve Ry'Ha'Dach, though he's slumbering due to his injuries."

Forfend's chest lit up briefly orange. It was glad to know Ry'Ha'Dach was safe, even if he was too wounded to fight. He would see another day. The genasi hadn't lost him.

"Who is that again?" Kagoshi asked.

Forfend hissed a heavy bout of steam. "The dragon. The emerald dragon."

"That the guy that tried to fight King Fuckwit?"

"He did fight Despot Falco, yes." Forfend stared down at Kagoshi, both irritated and concerned by his flippant regard of their draconic friend.

"He didn't exactly win though, did he?" Kagoshi growled.

"Did you?" Vesper snapped.

"Definitively, we did not," Forfend answered.

Kagoshi scoffed, closing in on himself and letting his deep-set rage burrow even further beneath his skin. "No, but I get a second round," he hissed murderously.

Ko'Dan grumbled and rushed and cracked like a tidal wave sweeping through a forest, his broad shoulders squaring as he loomed over Kagoshi.

"I think Ry'Ha'Dach has been through quite enough," Forfend said.

Slowly, Ko'Dan ceased his disastrous-sounding speech and settled back down. He didn't take his baleful gaze off Kagoshi.

Forfend apologized to Ko'Dan for Kagoshi's behavior and turned from the conversation. "I am going to speak with the people who have been fighting out in the city. They will be able to tell us what has been happening."

Ko'Dan nodded. He rumbled as he descended back into a pile of rocks, vines, and gemstones.

Forfend picked out people who held themselves like warriors, who were still trying to keep morale up and the people organized.

Just by the looks of them though, Forfend was quite certain the battle had gone poorly.

Forfend moved through the crowd and offered up the weapons and armor it had made to anyone still abled enough to use them.

Whether the genasi would be fighting again soon or not didn't matter. They needed their damaged gear replaced either way.

It spoke to several of the more seasoned fighters as it made its rounds, until it had a decent understanding of what had occurred in its absence.

Kiyori had valiantly defended the Teleportation Hub, but she'd had to leave her post to retrieve Ry'Ha'Dach. In that interval, many genasi had been severely wounded.

River was among them.

Jewel and Flint were also too wounded to fight.

Despite its inquiries, no one seemed to be certain how Kiyori fared.

Forfend worried for her. She was exceptionally powerful, but still as mortal as itself. It hoped she hadn't been hurt.

Melzaryn popped up at Forfend's side. "We're going to have to speak to the leaders about what happens after all this."

Forfend nodded, humming low in its center. "The whole of the government will need to be restructured. King Maggard Stormrike may take this as a strike upon his kingdom. It may all get worse before it gets better."

Melzaryn smiled his inscrutable smile and made for the exit.

Kagoshi and Vesper were already making their way out with the mercenaries right on their heels.

Forfend decided to follow Melzaryn before they all left it behind.

As they made their way through the caves, trailing a ways behind Vesper and Kagoshi, Forfend noticed there were more and more people crowding every open cavern.

These people were almost all human, with smatterings of elves, gnomes, halflings, and dwarves amongst them. There were almost no genasi here. And there had been only genasi in the last chamber. They were separating themselves from one another.

Despite all being trapped beneath the thumb of the same wretched despot, despite suffering the exact same situation, they held onto their petty prejudices.

Forfend found itself disappointed in Cragwall.

Kagoshi, Vesper, and the mercenaries disappeared through the illusion covering the cave entrance ahead of them.

Melzaryn idled along. He didn't seem to be in any special hurry to catch up with the others.

Forfend felt a touch more rushed and worried, but it tried to maintain the calm it would need in the coming battle.

The world shimmered around it as they finally passed through the illusion themselves.

Melzaryn continued on, unfazed by the oddity of the magics.

Forfend paused to catch its bearings.

It spotted Kiyori kneeling on a tree stump, her sword embedded in the earth by her side and her eyes fixated firmly on the route to Cragwall. She stood sentinel, ever ready.

The best Forfend could tell, she was unharmed.

It hummed to announce its presence.

Kiyori cocked her head slightly in acknowledgement and continued her dead set staring.

Melzaryn eyed her blade as he passed by the unsheathed weapon. He nodded to himself and looked up at Kiyori. "A lot of things are about to start happening very, very quickly," he started. "I think it's best the leading parties speak with each other sooner rather than later about what follows Falco's fall. Who do I need to see?"

Kiyori's gaze never wavered from the woods in front of her. She ripped her blade from the ground, gestured to the cabin with it, and returned it to its place buried in the dirt.

"Understood." Melzaryn turned on his heel and strode into the hideout.

Vesper and Kagoshi already stood outside, but neither of them seemed inclined to enter.

Forfend nodded to them both as it followed Melzaryn.

Immediately, Jewel startled awake and thrust a blade at them. She gasped when she recognized them. Her shortsword quickly rediscovered its sheath as she settled back into her chair by the door.

"Oh, it's you," she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hello," Forfend greeted.

Jewel was heavily bandaged and clearly fighting exhaustion. She needed rest. A lot of it.

"The other two are at the back," she mumbled, sleep already coaxing her eyes closed again.

She shook her head and shot up from her chair. "I'll walk you," she said suddenly.

Forfend nodded. It offered her an arm to hold if she needed assistance.

Jewel frowned at it, but only a few steps down the hallway, she decided to brace her hand against its shoulder after all.

As they rounded the corner at the back of the hideout, Forfend caught sight of River and gasped in a sharp hiss of steam.

He sat in a chair leaned back against the wall and heaved for every breath. His right arm was gone, completely gone. Blood filled the thick bandages around the stub of his shoulder and occasionally dripped onto the floor.

"Oh, good, you've returned," he panted.

Forfend fought the urge to heal him now. He was strong. He'd survive until after Despot Falco had been dealt with.

Forfend was going to need every last resource it had available to defeat the rampaging demigod. It couldn't heal River and the rest of the genasi yet. It would, it promised itself, but not yet.

"We have brought allies," it hummed.

"They are outside?"

Forfend nodded.

"Good." River groaned as he tried to sit up straighter. He grasped at his side just beneath his wound and slumped back down.

Flint knelt at River's side, grimacing at his grievous wound.

Out of all of them, he looked the least injured, but he was not unharmed.

The onyx crystals atop his head were cracked and the side of his face was bandaged. His eyes seemed to struggle to focus. He looked unsteady on his feet, dizzy, nauseous.

"What can you tell us about what has happened in Cragwall?" Forfend hummed. "What happened after we left?"

"The battle was hard fought," River answered. "Once you and the refugees escaped, he had to hold down the Teleportation Hub for as long as we could. Kiyori proved invaluable in that. She essentially held off the entirety of Despot Falco's army all by her lonesome, using the Hub's entrance as a choke point."

River made another attempt to sit up straight and managed it this time, though he had to grit his teeth against his pain.

"Then she charged out into the fray completely alone to retrieve Ry'Ha'Dach. She fought valiantly through the tide of Envema," he continued. "She succeeded, but we took heavy losses while she was away. I lost my arm saving another." He gestured to his blatant injury. "The Envema members seemed to notice my adept arcane practice and targeted me accordingly to cripple it. That proved to be a major blow to our endeavor here."

Flint dropped into his own seat and leaned in to hear the story, despite having lived the details.

River cast him a glance Forfend couldn't read and carried on with his tale, "The Abjurist, Sonya Caddel, and the Hawk Knight, Kendrick Arvad, also proved themselves invaluable. Sonya created countless barriers while Kendrick guarded any gap Kiyori couldn't. It was only due to their combined efforts that we escaped the city alive with as many as we did." River sighed heavily, sinking once again into his chair. "I don't know where they've gone now though."

He shook his head. "As far as I'm aware, the Despot himself is still residing inside his castle preparing gods only know what. I wish we had Ry'Ha'Dach to assist us, but he transformed into a human so Kiyori could carry him and he seems unable to turn back. He's still healing."

Jewel set down a map of Cragwall without being asked.

Immediately, River pointed out key points around the city.

"The entire place is overrun. I can't recommend a full-frontal assault," River said. "If anything, I'd think the best bet would be to sneak into the Mountain Quarter. What you do from there will be up to you."

Forfend hummed long and low and slow.

"The best we can tell, they don't know our whereabouts in the forest. Kiyori, though, she's worried they'll find us. She's been fighting from before you left until only a short while ago. Even now, she's out there standing guard."

Forfend nodded and shared a glance with Melzaryn. The wizard looked mildly impressed, if anything.

It, however, was concerned.

"That is all I know," River concluded.

"We know for certain that Despot Falco's intention is immortality," Forfend offered.

River considered this briefly. "I don't know how he plans to do it, but whatever he's going to try will take place within his castle. That's where he'll be safest and most secure. No interruptions."

"Oh, there's going to be an interruption," Melzaryn spoke with unexpected ferocity.

Despite himself, River almost smiled.

Flint snorted.

Jewel let a ghost of a smirk cross her tired face.

"According to the scouts I've sent out, Falco's children have returned to Cragwall," River shared.

Forfend and Melzaryn both took a moment to ponder this information.

"Concerning," Melzaryn matter-of-factly decided.

"That cannot be good," Forfend seconded. "If they are not on his side willingly, then he has certainly got them under his mind control."

"What is your plan?" River asked, his fingers steepled. "How do we proceed here?"

Forfend looked to Melzaryn.

Melzaryn chewed his lip.

"I'm not sure most of us will be of much use here. But with four demigods, you can surely accomplish something." River glanced toward the hallway. "Are Kagoshi and Kairi outside? I don't recall seeing Kairi with you when you left."

Forfend hissed steam, its core sinking low in its chest. "Kagoshi is outside. Kairi... Kairi did not survive Despot Falco's attack."

River's lips pressed tightly together. He rubbed his face. He looked to them with deep sympathy in his eyes, the sorrow of every loss laying heavy on him. "I see. I'm sorry. May she rest in peace."

Forfend hummed. It muttered a prayer for the departed in celestial.

"Still, the three of you survived and proved yourselves mighty," River offered some hope. "You could alter the course of a nation if you truly wanted to."

That was, Forfend assumed, more or less their intention at this point.

"What's the plan?" River asked again.

"Truthfully, the plan is to sneak in and fight Falco," Melzaryn shrugged. "We don't have enough information to plan beyond that. There is no more strategic-minded idea besides just winging it."

He drew in a deep breath and scratched at the back of his neck. "I think it's going to be more important to talk about what happens after. Once this is all over, things are going to happen very, very fast. I took the liberty of speaking to a sovereign from Harmonia about some potential solutions for everyone. You're about to lose a king. I'd like to cut down on the chaos where I can because the world is... not friendly."

"I understand," River responded grimly.

Melzaryn nodded. "I spoke to my mother about it. Being the son of one of the heads of the Collymore family, I've got some sway. She's willing to help us with these matters."

River paused, the gears in his mind turning as he looked over Melzaryn anew. He swallowed thickly. The gravity of who Melzaryn was settled onto him.

"Oh," he finally said.

"She suggested three possible solutions we can take after Falco's death," Melzaryn carried on as though River, Flint, and Jewel were not all still thoroughly stunned. "Of course, I have my preference and opinion on what's likely to be the best one, however, they're all viable options."

Melzaryn placed his hands on the table, leaning forward to draw all attention to himself. "I think the thing you're probably most worried about is King Maggard taking this as an attack and deciding to oust all of you from his vassal state."

All three genasi nodded.

"Well, the best solution to that is to use the rules and precedents already put into place by the Celestial Summit," Melzaryn explained. "One of the options this affords us is simply to declare war and fight it out with the Howling Plains using the Kuumedian Desert as an ally, but I'm not a huge fan of this one. It's not ideal for you or the Desert. We'll almost certainly win, but there will be a lot of loss and Tyrwedia will end up owing the Kuumedian Desert for our services."

River glanced to Jewel.

Jewel wiped her tired eyes and looked to Flint.

Flint folded his arms on the table to bury his face in them.

They all looked exhausted and well out of their depth.

Forfend also felt like it had only the vaguest notion of what Melzaryn's plan was. The genasi weren't title holders in Tyrwedia. Their power in the Land had been rather effectively stripped from them.

Melzaryn seemed to have a very clear idea on how he intended to seize that power back the second Despot Falco was dead, even if Forfend couldn't parse it.

"Another option could be for a demigod to simply assign themselves as leader of this region." For some reason, Melzaryn was watching Forfend from the corner of his eye. "That would allow them to claim the territory right out from under King Maggard and give the nation autonomy.”

The genasi also each cast a quick peek at Forfend as they considered the option.

It turned away. It may be the only local demigod they had, but it was incredibly far from the leader they needed. Everyone here knew as much, but other demigod options were effectively non-existent.

"The third option is the one I think is best," Melzaryn said. "We can form a council."

River perked up.

"As a member of a high-ranking family from another country, I'll be able to take the role of foreign emissary,” Melzaryn offered. "I won't have any more power or sway than any other member on the council, but I can provide insight and advice. You could also place Forfend on the council, since it seems he has very strong morals. Ideally, he'll play the role of tiebreaker when necessary, instead of having total control over the decisions that get made. He can bring the staying power we'll need, as the local demigod. I'd prefer my own demigod status not be disclosed, but Forfend's probably should be to give us the most possible credibility."

River rubbed his chin, his head tilting. "Maybe. If there's anyone we'd consider to be sovereign, it's Ry'Ha'Dach."

Forfend nodded its agreement. Ry'Ha'Dach was certainly more of a dependable, experienced leader than Forfend. Tiebreaking for a council didn't sound as difficult or terrifying as controlling a nation on its own, but it still wasn't sure it liked the idea of wielding that much power.

That said, the colonizers of Tyrwedia would never accept Ry'Ha'Dach as their ruler. Forfend may have an easier time in that regard.

Melzaryn opened his mouth to continue the discussion, but Forfend felt dizzied by the whole situation.

It politely ducked its head. "I will leave you to discuss while I check on our allies," it excused itself.

Forfend left as quickly as it could without drawing more attention to itself.

Outside, it found Vesper standing by the door.

"May I ask a question?"

Vesper nodded affirmatively. "You certainly may ask."

"Do you have any ideas for a plan? No one else seems to, I certainly do not, and I am concerned."

Vesper cocked his head. "Step one: place Howell at a distance because that's how he fights best. Step two: place someone in between him and Falco. I'll volunteer. I have a skill that sometimes causes people to flee from me. You should be between me and Falco. Step three: place Melzaryn opposite Howell and just as far away from Falco. Kagoshi will stay between them. Step four: cast Silence and Hold Person on Falco at any cost to prevent him from using his demigod ability. Step five: magically buff Kagoshi as much as possible."

Forfend's chest lit up. "That is brilliant, Vesper. Thank you."

"We should also try to get Falco's equipment off if we can. He'll be much less effective without it," Vesper added.

Forfend hummed thoughtfully.

Howell nodded. "Got it."

"I will tell Melzaryn," Forfend said. It pulled its Sending Stone from its belt rather than risking getting pulled back into the delicate political conversation. It was out of its depth and nervous about the role it may need to play. It had enough on its mind at the moment as it was.

"Melzaryn," it called into the Stone.

"Yes?" came the immediate reply.

It relayed Vesper's plan almost verbatim.

"That is a worthy plan of engagement with the Despot himself," River's voice sprang through the magic connection. "Getting to him will be another matter. You may be able to sneak into the Mountain Quarter, but all the tunnels into Castle Ledrian have been collapsed. There will be no sneaking inside the castle itself. The only real method left is entering directly through the front gate."

Forfend hummed anxiously.

"I'm sure that will be fine," Vesper said.

Kagoshi grunted from somewhere behind Forfend.

"If you do make it into the Mountain Quarter though," River continued, "the defenses were designed to work both ways. You can use that to your advantage. It's difficult to get in, but it's also difficult to get out. They won't be able to mobilize effectively to rally reinforcements. Once you're inside, you should be safe from that threat, though I can't say what others you may face."

Vesper chewed his lip and wandered away from the conversation.

"So what exactly is the fucking plan?” Kagoshi gruffed. It seemed he hadn't been listening.

Forfend actually wasn't certain where he'd milled off to or when he'd come back.

"The outside of the Mountain Quarter is heavily guarded," River informed them. "They're using their sheer numbers as a threat to keep us away, and I must say that it's working. We couldn't possibly handle a deluge of forces like that. Stealth will be paramount in getting past them. The tunnels beneath have all been collapsed, but perhaps you could find another option."

"I might have some suggestions," Melzaryn's voice wafted through the Stone.

"Something I've observed that might be helpful is that most of Falco's puppets are of unsound minds. There are some that seem to possess more free will and more intelligence to go along with it," River continued, "but the more control Falco has, the less functional his puppets seem to be. He has to make things simple for them or they fail to find their way. Hence, the open main gate into the Mountain Quarter, but the closed gate into the castle itself. His most intelligent personnel are being kept close at hand."

"So if we collapse the Mountain Quarter gate, the fodder will be too stupid to find a way into the castle to provide reinforcements," Melzaryn stated. "We won't have to hurt them or worry about them causing problems. We'll only have to deal with whoever's already inside."

"Noted," Forfend hummed. It considered the possibility.

Between the enchantment it had added to its mace, Kagoshi's raw strength, and Melzaryn's propensity for targeted destruction, bringing down the gate should prove fairly easy.

A few minutes passed and Melzaryn exited the hideout. "They showed me a map they made of the destruction in the city. Hell of a maze, but I've memorized us a really good route that should make stealth easy for us. Let's go."

Forfend nodded. It fell into step behind Melzaryn.

Kagoshi followed.

Vesper looked up from conversing with his odd wooden box. "We're leaving?"

He jogged to catch up.

"Seems so," Forfend answered.

Howell and his mercenaries also rushed to join the march to Cragwall.

"Do we have a plan?" Howell asked.

"More or less," Melzaryn shrugged.

"We are sneaking in," Vesper provided. He flipped through his deck of cards over and over again. Forfend thought at first the fiddling was perhaps a nervous habit, but then it sensed the magic in the air.

Occasionally, he nodded or muttered a question as he watched the empty air by his side. He was holding a conversation with someone or something.

Forfend wasn't certain what Vesper was doing, but it hoped the ritual would prove useful for them.

"Do any of you partake in any forms of stealth?" Howell looked doubtfully at Forfend and Kagoshi, suspiciously at Melzaryn, and uncertainly at Vesper.

"I'm very good at going unnoticed," Vesper answered flatly.

Kagoshi cracked his knuckles. "Can't get caught if there's no witnesses."

Howell shook his head, but dropped the subject.

The group made their way through Cragwall's east gate.

The city lay in ruins and all was silent save for the crackling fires. Most of the living denizens escaped with the genasi, and any still remaining kept well hidden.

All of Falco's forces were deeper in the city, protecting him as he prepared his murderous ritual.

Vesper hugged his carved wooden box and watched the unshifting rubble around them with a detached sort of wariness.

Howell ruffled his heavy cloak. He sighed.

A thick, dark mist rolled out from beneath his hood and engulfed the party.

It dissipated as quickly as it came, but it left all their movements muffled into silence. There was no longer a chorus of footsteps on stone. Even Forfend's creaking body stopped announcing its presence.

"Since none of you are any good at stealth, I figured I'd do this to keep us hidden," Howell said, his voice barely a whisper beneath the muffling magic. "It's Pass Without Trace."

Forfend nodded. Kairi had used the same spell for the same reason only a day ago.

Howell's magic had a distinctly different feel in the air than Kairi's had.

Where her arcana had felt bubbly and soft, his felt coarse and sun-warmed.

Howell's magic didn't hold a negative sensation, but the stark difference made Forfend miss their feisty, soft-hearted druid companion.

The group slipped soundlessly through the dead and dying city.

Forfend took stock of the immense damage.

Eamon's house lay in ruins alongside the majority of his neighborhood.

Forfend could only hope he and the other inhabitants had survived and escaped.

Kagoshi paused to stare at a section of road not far from the center of the city.

A space nearly a hundred feet in diameter had been steamrolled flat and every inch was covered in deep red blood.

Forfend recoiled, rocks tumbling in its chest.

Kagoshi only squinted. "I remember leaving corpses."

"You did this?!" Forfend couldn't help the whetstone shing that passed through its chest or the sharp sinking of its core into its midsection. The strong mix of emotions nearly threatened to knock it off its feet.

It knew Kagoshi had rampaged in the aftermath of Kairi's murder, but what sort of excessive, hellish violence was this?!

Kagoshi didn't respond to it.

"Either you mashed them into paste or someone cleaned up your mess," the serious mercenary interjected.

Kagoshi growled.

Forfend clenched its fist. Angry and indignant as it was, there was no time to have this conversation now.

The quiet mercenary grabbed Forfend's shoulder and tugged it down behind a pile of rubble.

Howell motioned for everyone to hush.

A patrol of Envema members marched past.

Two of them were the enormous amalgamations of flesh and metal.

Vesper stared, the fur of his tail standing on end as he watched them pass. He swallowed thickly, but said nothing.

The unhinged mercenary also watched the hulking beasts, though his expression was one of concerning giddiness.

Howell motioned for the group to get moving again.

Melzaryn resumed his place in the lead.

With him navigating, they very soon found themselves sneaking past the horde of Envema outside the Mountain Quarter.

"Good luck," Vesper whispered to Melzaryn the second they crossed through the gate, Guidance magic lacing his words.

He ducked into hiding with Howell and the other mercenaries.

Melzaryn hopped on his broom. "Kagoshi, smash that pillar and, Forfend, you've got the other." He zipped up into the air.

Kagoshi and Forfend both nodded.

They were spotted as they took their places, but it was much too late for that to matter now.

Melzaryn cast Shatter at the top of the arch above the open gate. A large section of stone exploded into dust as the unsupported stone began to collapse downward.

Forfend used what Byr had taught it in all his masonry lessons. It smashed its mace into the weakest spot it could determine.

The destructive magic imbued within Gilthur's Inspiration reverberated through the wall. Cracks shocked like lightning up the pillar.

Kagoshi slammed his fist through the wall of the pillar on the opposite side.

Both shivered, then shook, and suddenly crumbled before the Envema members could scramble through the gate.

The earth shook as all of the rubble tumbled to the ground, piling on top of itself into an impassable wall.

Dust whipped out from beneath the destruction.

Kagoshi was swept off his feet by the buffeting wind.

Forfend braced itself as sharp gravel bounced harmlessly off its stone body, but the rushing air wasn't strong enough to move its weighty body.

The Envema members hollered from the far side of the rubble, but there was nothing they could do to get over the dangerously shifting pile.

Forfend turned. It, Melzaryn, and Kagoshi all rejoined the group.

Kagoshi swore under his breath as he dusted off his dirtied jacket.

Howell whistled. "It wasn't stealthy, but I'll give you that it was kind of impressive."

They left the scene of the collapse and made their way toward Castle Ledrian.

Vesper stopped dead in his tracks in the center of the pathway. He spoke to someone who wasn't there.

"Hello, do you know where King Falco is?"

He stood in silence, his tail swishing thoughtfully.

Forfend assumed he must be conversing with a ghost.

Everyone paused, hovering awkwardly nearby as they observed what looked to be a one-sided conversation.

"What do you know of the renovations?" Vesper questioned.

Further silence.

Vesper tilted his head. "What sort of things would those be?"

No audible response.

"Thank you for your time."

Vesper paused for only a moment, then spoke again, "You are dead."

There was another beat of quiet. Vesper blinked as though surprised.

He shrugged off whatever oddity he'd encountered and looked up at everyone in turn. "My work here is done."

Forfend nodded slowly, though it wasn't sure what had happened.

"He is at the top of the castle," Vesper relayed as they all began moving onward again.

"You got some intuition on that or something?" Kagoshi asked, ever dense.

"No. I know for certain he is at the top."

"Oh." Kagoshi rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever you say, Fluffy."

"I do believe he has... reinforcements of sorts up there."

"Yeah, I'd imagine so," Kagoshi gruffed.

"It is likely the very big, scary ones though, so take precaution," Vesper said. "You know. Grrah," he growled, poorly mimicking the hulking flesh-and-metal monsters. "The icky ones we have seen strutting about. The flesh monstrosities."

"I'm sure those guys are easy to take care of," Kagoshi decided.

"I disagree," Forfend hummed.

"You only say that because you wouldn't be able to just throw one of them." Kagoshi clenched his fists and flexed his thick muscles.

Forfend shook its broad head.

As they neared the castle gates, they encountered a small caravan of upturned wagons still smoldering as they belched pitch black smoke into the fire-stained sky.

"Wagon," Melzaryn noted, craning his head to see what may lie beyond them.

"Wagon," Forfend concurred.

Vesper cocked his head at them. "Why are you repeating the same word? It's just a bunch of wagons."

"Yeah, why are you guys doing that?" Howell asked.

"It is strange. Seems very repetitive," Vesper noted.

"Thank you!" Kagoshi shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "Somebody gets it!"

"Why does it even matter?" Vesper shook his head in confusion.

No one answered.

Melzaryn huffed, a bit sad his game had ended so soon.

Forfend found itself missing Kairi all over again.

The mercenaries moved forward, taking cover behind the wagons.

Forfend, Melzaryn, and Vesper followed their lead.

Kagoshi, however, didn't seem concerned in the slightest about staying out of sight.

Forfend peered around the edge of the wreckage, hoping the smoke and flames would obscure its form.

A small group of Envema members stood watch.

A cluster of them guarded the gate while another pair manned the barrels of boiling oil stationed along the ramparts above.

This was a very, very small group to be guarding such a critical point.

Pebbles clattered in Forfend's chest as it fretted over the situation. This was too simple, too easy. A trap. It had to be.

Something hazy entered the edge of Forfend's field of vision.

It focused its gaze and stiffened sharply.

Kairi, ghostly pale and translucent, waved to them from off to the side.

Forfend couldn't tell if she was a true spirit or a dark trick, but it couldn't tear its gaze off its fallen friend.

Kairi's glittering wings spread and whisked her around a stack of abandoned supplies tucked close to the wall. She disappeared from view.

Forfend shook its head, uncertain if what it had seen had even been real.

It locked gazes with Melzaryn who simply frowned, his eyes narrowed.

Forfend hummed softly. It seemed he'd seen it.

They silently agreed not to chase the startling entity.

Kagoshi finally ducked behind cover before the Envema guards spotted him.

Forfend motioned to him in an attempt to catch his attention, but he was staring too intently at the space Kairi had ducked into.

"Don't do it," Melzaryn whispered an almost idle warning, as though he was joking or teasing Kagoshi instead of truly trying to ward him off.

Kagoshi paid him no mind. He darted out from hiding and dove behind the huge supply pile Kairi had disappeared behind.

"Wh-- Hey, what the fuck?" Howell whisper-yelled as his cloaking magic fell away from Kagoshi.

Luckily, Kagoshi had been quick and silent enough that the guards hadn't seen him, but Forfend feared what he may be about to encounter.

"Well, he's dead," Melzaryn shrugged. "At least he'll probably soften them up for us."

"What the hell?!" Howell threw his hands up.

The crazy mercenary snickered, but the other two just stared.

Vesper chewed his lip thoughtfully. "Why would he do that?"

Forfend shook its head. It couldn't so much as pretend it understood Kagoshi.

There was silence from Kagoshi's hidden corner for a few seconds too long.

Forfend shuffled as it considered trying to follow Kagoshi.

Vesper stilled it with a hand on its side and a subtle shake of his head.

A chorus of a dozen bloodcurdling screeches ripped through the air.

The Envema members startled, snatching up their weapons and whirling around to face the hidden corner.

"How dare..." came a broken, raspy, struggling cacophony of voices. "How dare you. Should not have let... such fine flesh as this... go to waste. Wasn't she your dear... friend?"

The voices laughed mockingly, wheezing with every strained breath.

"Should not have left... the body behind. How... cruel," the voices admonished and cackled all over again. "Now you can't even give her... a proper burial. Who's fault... is that?"

Forfend squeezed its mace tight in its grip.

Whatever that creature had been, it wasn't Kairi and now it had Kagoshi.

The Envema members weren't prepared for it either. They were acting as though they hadn't known it was there.

They didn't approach. Nervously, they waited to see what would happen.

"You?" the voices asked. "Who found yourself wallowing in rage... and grief? Or me? Who saw... a simple use... for what you... discarded?"

The voices screamed their wailing laughter.

"I'll be sure to torture you before I kill you!" Kagoshi yelled back.

The entire supply stack they hid behind quaked as Kagoshi and the mystery monster clashed.

#forfend #twilight of the demigods #session notes #session 31 #harmonia #llardel forest #cragwall #dnd #took one hell of a holiday hiatus but I'm back

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