#shannon's ghost being the one to make him see what's in front of him just how we all know she would if she were still alive

[lenaboskow]

what are the chances that kim is the one to make eddie realize he's in love with buck

[andavs]

Seriously, does Eddie know what Kim unintentionally did to him?

I'm not trying to absolve him of everything that just happened because he was the one to go back to the store and talk to her in the first place. He continued to see her at least a few times, so that part is entirely on him—but he also came clean with her and ended it. It was over and done with.

But he brought her to his home to explain and she came back later to ambush him. She used the photos he showed her to dress up exactly like his dead wife—maybe it was just some careful styling, but it looked like she even dyed the white streak in her hair. He opened up about the faults in their marriage and she threw his own words back at him to push him into engaging with her. Everything he shared with her, she twisted and used against him.

Even with nothing but good intentions, Kim is a fucking actress! She is not in any way qualified to guide him through something like that! She broke him open while he repeatedly asked her to stop, unintentionally blew his life up, and then left him there in pieces. And he couldn’t even begin to process what just happened because Chris walked in.

Yeah, Eddie could’ve slammed the door in Kim’s face from the start or told her to get out, but even if he had, would she have left? She was determined to do this “for him” and didn’t take no for an answer. He could barely even look at her, but she kept pushing until she struck a nerve. 

That was such a fucked up thing that Kim did, yet Eddie defends her and blames himself completely in the aftermath. He was so messed up and wracked with guilt and worry about Chris that he couldn’t even properly explain what happened. He talks around it while blaming himself for everything, to the point where it sure as hell seems like Buck thinks they had sex while Kim pretended to be Shannon, and Eddie was fully into it.

In the episode before when he first confronted Eddie about her, Buck specifically clarified, “You haven't had sex.” And Eddie said, “Exactly, that’s not even what I want from her.”

And then when Eddie’s trying to explain, Buck says “And what wasn't happening between you two ended up happening.”

Buck thinks they had sex—or were at least making out—and Chris walked in when in reality, Eddie was pushed into a breakdown by the ghost of his dead wife about how he's broken and unfixable and alone. And I don’t know what that misunderstanding means, or if it’ll even end up being relevant! Will Eddie actually tell him what happened, or will he lock that away too?

Eddie’s made so much progress with opening up to people since his breakdown, but this time every single thing he shared got used against him and started a chain reaction that has left him completely alone with nothing. His son is gone, and his parents were there just long enough to convince him that he’s a terrible father screwing up Chris like they screwed up Eddie, which is what Eddie’s always worked hardest to avoid. The one remaining good thing in his life was the 118, and even that’s going to be terrible under Gerrard.

Either next season is going to be equal parts brutal and magnificent on the Eddie front, or it’s going to be incredibly disappointing.

[blueathens]

Leaving

Summary: Based on the line ‘I know when I’m not wanted so I’m just gonna go.’ Y/n no longer feels this ‘relationship’ with Eddie is going to go anywhere.

Song: Anger by Sleeping At Last Quote: “I know when I’m not wanted so I’m just gonna go.”

Requested

Masterlist//Main Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

She wasn’t anyone to him anymore.

She wasn’t anyone to Eddie since Shannon came back.

She was pushed away from him the moment she came back, and it was like what her and Eddie had going on was non-existent that none of it ever happened.

It was like he didn’t even know who she was anymore.

“I know when I’m not wanted so I’m just gonna go.” Y/n told him on one of the nights he invited her round only for her to watch in pain of him and Shannon being together, sharing kisses of love to each other’s lips and pretended as if she was just a ghost. “I don’t even know why you invited me here.”

“Because you’re my friend.” Eddie told her as he tried to stop her from leaving when Shannon left to read a book to Christopher in his bedroom. “You’re my friend so I-”

“Are we really friends Eddie?” She questioned as she put her arms through her green jacket, pulling it up one arm at a time as she watched the confusion overtake the firefighter’s face. “Why isn’t the rest of the team here? Their your friends right? But no, it’s just me here watching you and Shannon love one another despite what we had!”

“Shannon and I wasn’t meant to happen-”

“Bullshit.” Y/n cut him off. “Absolute bullshit.” She rubbed her thumb under her eyebrow as she thought for a second. “You wouldn’t choose me…” she tilted her head as she muttered, “well you proved that already.”

“I-”

“You wouldn’t Eddie, so cut the bullshit.” Y/n swiped her tongue over her lips as she looked at him. “If you had the choice between me or Shannon who would you pick?”

Eddie hesitated.

“Shannon she’s Christopher’s mum and-”

“Are you happy with her?” Y/n asked. “Maybe Christopher is happy to have his mum back in his life, but are you happy being with her again? You don’t need to repay her for anything, and you don’t need to be with her for her to be in Chris’ life…you need to be selfish sometimes Eddie and choose your happiness.” Y/n walked backwards towards the front door. “But I know you wouldn’t…she’s your wife right? So she should make you very happy. Happier than I ever could make you.” She pulled down the handle and opened the door.

“You don’t want me Eddie.” She stepped out through the door. “It’s okay.” She whispered. “I’ll see you at work.”

[redrobin-detective]

The late Daniel Fenton

It was shaping up to be a beautiful if chilly December day and Casper High, as always, was bustling. It was 7:49 and class was about to start. The teacher watched the last few kids stumbling in at various levels of wakefulness. He already knew who would be the ones to rush in after the bell but that was alright. Life was too short to stress about being a few minutes late to class, especially in Amity Park of all places.

He looked up to see Madison, one of his shyer students walk in before making a beeline for his desk. She was biting her lip and nervously rubbing her hand down her skirt. “Hey,” she began quietly.

“Good morning. What’s up, Mads?” He asked casually. She looked upset, he could probably put on a video for the class if she needed to talk. They really needed a permanent counselor but the constant ghost attacks ran off most of them so he’d taken up the unofficial mantle. It felt good to help his students like that, make up for past wrongs.

“Are we um, expecting any new students?” She asked, her eyes darting over to the door she’d just come through. “Any transfers, exchange students or anything like that?”

“No,” the teacher frowned. “Amity isn’t the kind of place people transfer into. Why?”

“There’s a kid in the hallway,” she mumbled. “I don’t recognize him, he’s got a backpack and everything but he’s... I don’t know he doesn’t feel right.”

“Oh you’re talking about that weird dark haired kid,” Kyle said as he entered and sat down with a slouch. But even the class slacker looked unusually tense. “Dude’s creepy, can’t put my finger on why but he definitely doesn’t belong.”

“Oh,” was all the teacher had to say. Suddenly he realized how cold the classroom had become, the uncomfortable feeling that was pressing ever so slightly down on them. “I suppose it makes sense, the ghosts have been quiet lately with the Truce and all. He probably got bored.”

“Sir?” Madison said.

“Shannon,” he said instead, looking over at the frizzy haired girl hunched over her sketchbook furiously at work. “Would you do me a favor and move to the vacant seat in the second row? Just for today.”

“What? Why?” the girl whined even as she gathered up her various arts supplies and got ready to move.

“That’s Mr. Fenton’s seat,” he said taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes in preparation for what he was about to see. Danny would come here, of course he would. This was Lancer’s old classroom and Danny had him for first period English Lit. He and Dash both did.

“Mr. Baxter? What’s going on, is it a ghost?” Malik asked from the back row while Shannon shuffled to her new temporary seat.

“Yes but you don’t need to be scared,” he said softly, evenly. “He won’t hurt you.” The bell rang but Dash didn’t start the lesson. Instead, he waited. Danny had never been on time to class the entire time Dash had known him, of course death wouldn’t change that.

“Sorry, I’m late Mr. Lancer,” Dash gripped his desk so he didn’t jump when Danny Fenton simply appeared in front of his desk instead of walking through the door like any other student. “My folks couldn’t drive me, they’re still working on their stupid ghost portal.” A quick glance over at this class showed varying levels of fear, shock and curiosity but they were Amity kids through and through. The cold, powerful energy radiating off Fenton told them it was best to play along with whatever the ghost wanted.

“Perfectly alright Mr. Fenton,” Dash said softly, searching the 14 year old’s perpetually young face. He hadn’t changed a bit since Dash last saw him their second week of freshman year. It seemed unreal seeing how the years had taken their toll on Casper’s favorite son, Dash Baxter. God had they really been that young once? “Take a seat and we’ll get started.”

Danny shrugged and walked over to the seat Shannon had just vacated. He sat just the same, one leg stretched out and the other propped up against the leg of the desk. As soon as he took off the backpack and put it around the chair, it disappeared. He didn’t say anything else, just sat as stared at Dash with piercing blue eyes like he could see right through him.

“We had been talking about the lead up to the Civil War but let’s table that for today,” Dash said, proud his voice only wavered a little. He knew other people had seen Fenton around town. Lina saw him standing outside the Nasty Burger maybe five or so years ago. Dale, who used to live near Fenton Works swore he sometimes saw someone moving through the windows of the long abandoned house. He’d always secretly dreaded the thought of seeing Danny Fenton again, afraid he’d finally get was coming to him.

“Instead, we’re going to talk about local history,” he continued, not daring to take his eyes off the undead teen. Every other living student was tense, afraid. He wished he could assure them that the ghost wouldn’t lay a hand on them. In the event Fenton decided to ditch the hero schtick, it would be Dash and Dash alone he’d come after. “Amity Park has long had rumors of being haunted dating all the way back to the 1600s. It wasn’t until the last century that scientists determined that Amity Park is located on top of a thin spot between our world and the ghost realm. Natural portals form here all the time allowing spirits to pass through.”

No one spoke and barely anyone breathed except for Danny would wasn’t breathing at all. He just sat and stared at Dash with steady, unblinking eyes.

“Jack and Maddie Fenton were the scientists who discovered the weak point in reality in Amity. They devoted their entire life to the study of ghosts and made remarkable advancements in our knowledge of ectobiology and culture, the first being,” he paused as Danny cocked his head in confusion, squinting his eyes suspiciously at Dash. “The first being their manmade portal to the ghost zone. The portal remained active for almost two decades for research purposes but was shut down following their deaths.”

“You’re not Mr. Lancer,” Danny said suddenly, his eyes shifting from baby blue to an ectoplasmic green. Marty, who was sitting to the left of Danny, swallowed a squeak of fear and squeezed his eyes shut.

“No,” Dash sighed, “Lancer died almost thirty years ago now. Best teacher I ever had, he gave me his blessing when he passed on the job to me.”

“I,” the ghost ran his hand through his hair which was starting to lose its color. Seeing Fenton looking so scared and confused made him ache. It reminded him of old times. Dash had spent most of his life making sure he helped hurt kids if only to make up for the one he’d never been able to make it up to. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s okay, Danny,” he soothed. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“The portal, it wasn’t working at first,” Danny justified, his aura glowing a little more. “Sam and Tuck, they were curious. They wanted to look but I told them it wasn’t allowed, Sam, Sam she dared me to go in. I put on the hazmat suit and went inside and found the on button inside. I accidentally hit it and-” he paused midsentence and looked down at his hands. They weren’t pale flesh anymore but covered in white gloves. The black was completely bleached from his hair. A few of the students gasped as they saw the strange would be student melt into Phantom, the ghostly hero who’d been protecting their town since their parents were young. “I died.”

So much time had gone by. People were born and people were buried and the truth became distorted until it was just a legend passed jokingly around cafeteria lunch tables. Amity’s youth had forgotten their town’s history until it was sitting in a desk, trying once more to be one of them.

“You did,” Dash said sadly. He remembered hearing the news of Fenton's death. An assembly had been called the morning after the accident. Lancer had cried at the podium, Manson and Foley hadn’t returned to school for a week and had never been the same again. Dash hadn’t known what to think at the time, only that the kid he’d beat up for the crime of being different would never show up to school again. Or so he’d thought. “It was a tragedy, you were mourned by a lot of people.”

“I know you, don’t I?” Danny said quietly before he sat up straighter. “Dash?”

“In the flesh,” Dash grinned shakily.

“But you’re so old,” Danny said, once more distressed. “Your hair is grey and there’s wrinkles on your face and-and you’re a teacher now?” The last line was said with incredulity, his eyes flaring again. “You used to push me down the stone steps of the school and shove me into my locker and call me names.”

“Yeah, I did,” he sighed, feeling every one of his years. He was pushing 70 but he didn’t think he’d ever stop feeling like a stupid 14 year old who took out his frustrations on the ones who didn’t deserve it. “But you were the last; I never touched another kid again. I’m married now, four kids. I’m vice principal now, teach History and coach the school’s football team. It’s,” his voice caught again, still unable to process how young and stupid Fenton looked sitting there like no time had passed at all. It made Dash feel like all his accomplishments and attempts to be better would never amount to anything so long as his last victim roamed the earth unable to find peace. “It doesn’t fix what I did back then but I make damn sure that there won’t be any bullying at Casper so long as I’m here.”

“Huh,” Danny said, slouching once more in his seat but it looked less like his earlier teenage laziness and more weary. He and Dash were the same age after all, just because only one of them got old doesn’t mean time didn’t still affect them. “You did change, a lot of things did.” Danny looked down at the desk, “how long has it been?”

“Almost 50 years,” Dash sighed. “My wife wants me to retire but I guess I always find more things to do.” He paused then decided it was now or never. “I’m sorry Danny, for hurting you back then. I wish I'd gotten to know you better.”

For just a moment, Danny was perfectly clear. Even half floating out of his chair and looking like the local celebrity, his eyes were so painfully human. A boy killed before he ever got a chance to get started. Who’s will to protect was so strong it lasted half a century. It haunted him late at night to think of the glory and power of Phantom overshadowing just how incredible Danny Fenton had been. Not that anyone had seen it at the time. Soon there wouldn’t be anyone left to remember that quiet, kind teenager and then Danny Fenton really would be dead. Kill him just as thoroughly as that portal had.

The moment was broken by a breath of cold leaking out of the ghost’s lips and, just like that, his highschool classmate was gone and Phantom was left in his stead. He looked curiously around the classroom as if he didn’t know how he’d gotten there.

“There’s a ghost, stay here and don’t leave unless the fighting gets too close. I’ll get it though, don’t worry. No kids are dying today.” Maybe it was Dash’s imagination but he thought he saw Phantom’s eyes linger on him for an extra moment, trying to place where he knew the teacher from. Dash just smiled.

“Our lives are in your hands. Good luck, Phantom,” the ghost teen saluted before fading away entirely. Dash let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, suddenly exhausted but also lighter at the same time. It wasn’t every day you got to look your mistakes in the face and apologize. “Shannon, you can move back now.”

“No, I’m okay here,” Shannon said as she flipped to a new page in her sketchbook and looked intently at the spot where Fenton had once sat. “It’s like you said, that’s Danny’s seat.”

“I had no idea, Phantom’s been around for like, ever,” Freddie mumbled, pushing up his glasses. “But he used to be just like us.” And still was, Dash thought sadly. Danny would never grow old, never go to space like he’d always dreamed or marry Manson like he’d probably intended to. He was stuck, in more ways than one for who knows how long.

“Yes, that’s why it’s important to know your history. The Civil War and my other lessons are important but we can’t forget these smaller, more intimate histories. If we lose these lessons to time then we risk repeating the same mistakes over again.” He looked his students in the eyes, holding their attention.

“So we’ll continue today with the local history. Before he was ghost butt kicking superhero, Phantom was Danny Fenton, son of the local ghost hunters and a bit of an outcast in town. The Daniel Fenton Foundation was founded about a year after his death and was-”

[midnightstar-90]

Hidden~ Eddie Diaz x Nash! Reader

A/N: Not edited because I'm in school, but I will edit later. I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I plan to go by episode when I get to season 3 plots.

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Flashback to 2003

Narrator's POV

'The fifth game. This was the fifth game he has missed this year. He wasn't even there to comfort me in the ambulance.'  Y/N sat angrily on the hospital bed, with a cast on her foot. She was so mad at her father. For the second year in a row, Her father has missed all her activities.

She knows why he isn't there, but she thought that when her father told her that he was getting married and having another child, he would at least make time for her. Now, she is in the hospital with only her mother by her side.

The doctor walks into the room with a smile. "Well young lady, you are free to go. Your mother can sign you out at the front desk, and then you may go," The doctor said.

As I'm getting ready to go, Bobby runs in. "I'm so sorry. Marcy had a doctor's appointment, and I lost track of time," he says.

Y/N hops away, using her crutch, and rolls her eyes. "Y/N,"  Bobby calls out defeated. "She scored the winning goal before breaking her leg. When she saw your team come to her rescue, she thought that maybe, just maybe, her father would still see all her hard work. It seems like you care about your new family more, but get this through your head, Robert. She... Is... Your family," Y/M/N says with an angry tone.

Bobby stood in the hospital room looking at the bed where his daughter laid, injured. He knew he messed up. He knew he was losing his daughter. She is almost a teenager. He had to make it up to her.

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Bobby's POV

I know the best way to make it up to Y/N. Ever since she was little, she loved riding with me and the crew as we saved people's lives. I told Marcy that even though I had to work I was also going to spend time with my daughter. She was okay with that.

Y/N's Pov

When my dad picked me up, I didn't know what to expect. I was still injured and mad, so what could we possibly be doing. I got into the car when I noticed his work bag.

My face lit up when I figured out what was happening. "Am I going to work with you," I questioned my father? "Yeah, and I have a surprise for you," my dad said while watching the road. He tried to hide his smile but I knew it was there.

When we got to the Firestation, everyone greeted me. I saw some old faces and some new ones. We walked to the changing room. When we entered, my dad opened his bag and handed me some clothes. "You got me one of your uniforms," I said while jumping up and down. He nodded his head and we headed out.

The ride was so cool. Even though I still had my cast on, the fire crew let me put out a small fire with the hose. It was so cool. We then had to help out a gruesome fight. The gory calls were always the best. We ended the day with the team going out for burgers and milkshakes.

I had so much fun with my dad. The next day, I went to school still wearing my dad's fire department shirt he gave me.

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Present Day

Narrator's POV

When Bobby saw the woman he once called his baby girl, he knew he had to see her. He sat in the hospital lobby along with Eddie remembering the conversation he had with Athena.

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2 hours ago

Bobby's POV

"What's wrong? It looks like you've seen a ghost," Athena asks with a chuckle. I keep a very serious look and say, "I did. That was my daughter." Athena looks at me with a serious/confused face and asks, "What?!"

"When I was young, I was also reckless," I said with a sigh. "So is every man in the world, but go on," Athena said jokingly.

I gave Athena the summary of my life before LA, "Y/N was a drunken mistake, but I still loved her. When I got with Marcy, I didn't hang out with her as much. Then I had the kids. When the fire happened, I knew I couldn't be around Y/N, so I did what I thought any father would do to protect their child. I ran. Now she's here in LA, with a son, and teaching Eddie's kid."

"Well, it seems like Y/N being back is a sign. Maybe you could get a second chance with her. You are great with May and Harry, why can't you use what you learned to better your relationship with your daughter?"

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Narrator's POV

Y/N woke as the Nurse was checking her vitals. Y/N groaned and said, "What happened, and where is my son?" The nurse jumped and said, "Oh, Miss Nash you're awake. Well, you were in a car accident. Your son is fine. He is in the children's ward with minor injuries."

Y/N let out a breath, with the knowledge that her son was fine. "You have some visitors. I'm gonna let them in now."

'Visitors? What visitors? I just moved here. Did my mom find out somehow?' Y/n's thoughts took a pause as her door opened. It was two firefighters. One I knew for a fact was Eddie, and the other was someone who looked familiar, but I had no clue who they were.

"Eddie? What are you doing here?" Y/N asked smiling. He tried to give me a hug without hurting me. "Well, Chris has school on Monday, so I had to check on his new favorite teacher," he joked. Y/N laughed and smiled. Bobby watched his daughter with his co-worker. Y/N looked toward the familiar stranger.

"Hi, I'm Bobby Nash. I'm the LAFD's 118 fire captain." When Y/N heard the name, she instantly remembered the name. "Dad?" she said with tears in her eyes. Bobby wiped the tears from his eyes and walked over to his daughter. Eddie moved out of the way so that his fire captain could reunite with his daughter.

"Yeah baby, it's me." Y/N couldn't believe her eyes. Eddie decided to let the family talk and went to have a nurse bring Y/N's son to her room. "You left me," Y/N said now fully crying. "Let me explain. I was having a hard time at work, and it set me off. I did some things that I regret to this very day. I couldn't protect some of my family, but I knew I could protect you from the darkness inside of me. I didn't know what the best thing to do was, so I ran. I am so sorry," Bobby explained wholeheartedly.

Y/N instantly went in for a hug. She still had tears in her eyes, but she was happy. Still sad, but happy she gets another chance with her father. "I saw you today. You may not have been there to save me when I broke my, but you were there to save me today." Bobby smiled when a little boy walked into the room with Eddie.

The boy ran in. "Mommy," the boy yelled to the top of his lungs. Eddie helped him onto the bed. "Hi, baby. Zach, this is Bobby and Eddie. Eddie is Chris' dad an-" Y/N was cut off by her son, "The Eddie you said looked hot." "Shhh," Y/N said with a finger to lips. Eddie and Bobby watched the two and chuckled.

Y/N explained to Zachary that Bobby was his grandfather, and Zach was so happy. The 4-year-old almost ran Bobby down with the hug he gave. Y/N and Bobby were so happy to have their family back.

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Eddie's Pov

After the visit to the hospital, I think it is safe to say that I like Y/N. The hard part was telling Shannon. She is Christopher's mother. I walked into the house to see Shannon and Chris making pizza.

"Daddy!" "Hey buddy," I say picking him up, "How was school?" "School was awesome. Y/N taught me math using M&M's, and then we got to eat them. During recess, Y/N and her son Zach played with me." The way Chris talked about Y/N made me like her even more. "When mommy picked me up we went to the store for ice cream and pizza. She said we're gonna watch a movie," Christopher said with a huge grin. Just when I think I want something, I remember that sometimes what I want isn't all about me.

The food finished cooking, and we sat down as a family and ate. We watched 'A Bug's Life' before Shannon left. I went to put Christopher to bed, but before he went to bed I wanted to have a talk. "Buddy, if I wasn't with mommy, but you could still hang out with her, you would be fine with that right." He looked at me and said, "We just got her back. Do you not love her anymore."

"No, I will forever love your mommy, but she's been gone for so long that I think it is time for me to move on." "Are you talking about with Miss.Nash, because I saw the way you looked at her, and it was the same way I look at my dessert," I laughed at his joke.

"I like Miss. Nash and I love mommy. I don't want to lose them." What he said gave me a lot to think about. "Ok, bud. Go to sleep," I said standing by the door. I turned off the light and headed to my room. I got ready for bed and slept on my thoughts.

Taglist: @notanordinaryprincess95 @jjpogueprincess @wiypt-writes

[theoriginalladya]

WIP Wednesday

Better late than never edition lol

So this past week (or maybe the week before, I can't recall) I drabbled a bit of something that popped into my head for Caleb Shepard and Ashley from Mass Effect 1. Not quite sure where this falls exactly, probably not too long after Eden Prime I'm guessing, but it'll be in there somewhere...

~~~

“Skipper.”

Shepard lifts his gaze from the datapad in his hand to find Williams standing next to the table. “Chief.” He really isn’t in the mood for company just now after that mission, but it isn’t in him to deny her the opportunity if she feels a need to talk.

She drops into the seat settling her mug of coffee between her hands. “So… uh… You’re that Shepard?”

One dark brow quirks upward at the emphasis on ‘that.’ “You mean there’s more than one of us?”

It’s a poor attempt at humor and deflection, but she can’t hide the twitch of her lips and she quickly averts her eyes while struggling to swallow a laugh. The tension surrounding them lightens just a bit.

“The one at Akuze…?”

Dread fills him, sinking low in his belly where it churns with the thread of anxiety that never quite left since that day six years before. With every ounce of his being, Shepard fights to maintain a neutral expression. It doesn’t take a genius to see where this conversation is headed. He could cut it off if he wanted – tell her he doesn’t have time for it or that the report he’s working on needs to be completed – but he’s always had an open-door policy with all of his people, and he can’t in good conscience shut it down now, just because of this.

But that doesn’t mean he’s going to volunteer anything up front. Swallowing tightly, he leans back in his seat hoping the shadows mask his face and folds his arms across his chest. “Aye, I was.”

She sits unnaturally still, brown eyes glazed slightly when she looks over at him. It’s clear something is troubling her. He can make a good guess as to what based on her questions so far. Still, he hasn’t gotten this far in his career without learning some patience.

Her lips twist, opening slightly as she drops her gaze to her coffee where her fingers toy with the cup, but no sound comes out. Several minutes pass; she tries again, but nothing.

Sighing, Shepard leans forward. “Williams…”

“I’m – I’m sorry, sir.” The words come out in a rush, tumbling over one another, as she pushes to her feet and grabs her mug. Coffee splashes over the top of the rim onto the back of her hand and she hisses.

“Williams.” This time there is a bit more bite as he says her name, a hint of the commander, not the man. She freezes, half turned away. “Sit down, Chief.” To her credit, there is no hesitation; she drops back onto the chair. Only then does he ease up a little. “Still struggling with what happened to your unit on Eden Prime?”

Refusing to look at him, her head bobs up and down twice. “How… how do you deal with that? With…” She inhales sharply, her head darting back up to him. “With the guilt? With the ghosts?”

Sergeant Angela Nevarra’s face flashes before him, her easy smile matched by a pair of sharp, vibrant, dark eyes. Corporal Kaida Aoki, one of the fiercest – in both fighting and loyalty – people he’s ever known. Private ‘Jim-not-James, sir!’ Weston whose hot temper matched the vibrant red of his hair and reminded Shepard of back home.

Home…

That triggers an altogether different slippery slope, and next he knows, Aoife sneaks in hot on their heels. Never far from his thoughts, she isn’t alone this time, either. Ciara, his first crush; Sean and Brennan, fellow madrai and defenders of Shannon; Colin, Ceannaisi of the Reds…

Shepard’s eyes slam shut and he shakes his head once to chase them away. Now is not the time…

[creativeashproductions]

An Unwitting Sanctuary // Luke Patterson

IN WHICH: Reader finds herself dropped kicked into a  whole new world void of demons but filled with ghosts. Having grown up in a top secret religious Order it’s quite the adjustment temporarily stationed in a world less dangerous. But with the help of a trio of teen ghosts and a girl whose throat was nearly slit the transition isn’t fought.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, blood, demons, wounds, angst, and fluff

Words: 5.6k

A/N: Just another fic that I periodically worked on. This is a crossover with the Netflix original series Warrior Nun which I highly recommend.

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Masterlist

It all started a decade ago when you lost your mother to an illness that had desiccated your family's happiness. Your father failed to find peace at the bottom of a bottle before he was a great father. In his last attempt to be a father, he made the tough decision to give you up to save you from watching his self-destruction and so he wouldn't hurt you.

That's how you found yourself numb on an airplane heading for Spain where you had been taken in. Tear tracks slowly drying on your pale cheeks, you tried to find what you did wrong for your parents to leave you.

"Hi." A sweet voice spoke from beside you. A girl with light brown hair in pigtails said with a bright grin, "I'm Ava."

A faint blush appeared on your cheeks at her words, but with one mention of your favourite show, you couldn't help but ramble. The woman beside Ava, her mother, smiled at how easily Ava could make someone happy. Ava and her mom remained by your side, even getting off the plane.

"It was nice to meet you." Ava beamed, revealing a missing tooth. Ava tackled you in a hug tightly, "You're my bestest friend in Spain." 

Your little hand waved as Ava's small stature disappeared out the airport entrance with her mother leaving behind a forlorn little girl. A stoic woman using a cane slowly made her way to you emotionless as she glanced at a photograph in her other hand.

"Y/N Y/L/N? You may call me Mother Superion," The Nun questioned, resting both her hands on the head of the cane with such intimidation, "Follow me. You're very fortunate Cardinal Duretti and Father Vincent found you.

"Why do you wear robes?" Your innocent question was taken by Mother Superion with little regard. Mother Superion questioned if the Order could afford having a child in the midst of the Order members' sworn duty.

"It is my habit. It is an outward sign of my religious' consecration to God." Mother Superion spoke, leading the way to an unmarked black vehicle idling for the stoic Nun and the little child. A vehicle that would transport a small American child to a place devoid of parental love and nurtured guidance.

Now at eighteen years of age, you had seen more than most people saw their entire lives; you were no longer the bright-eyed little girl longing for her father's hug. You were a girl who matured beyond her years, dedicating her life to a mission civilians had no clue about. It was a hard life among your fellow Sisters, yet you were closest to the Warrior Sisters you had been assigned to. Mary, Beatrice, Camila, Shannon and Lilith; Mary being your closest friend given you both were part of The Order of the Cruciform Sword but not Nuns, having never taken the vows. Lilith had grown colder and bitter when Sister Shannon was chosen for the Halo, so it was often hard to be around her now.

Mostly when she was gunning to retrieve the Halo from the resurrected formerly quadriplegic teenager girl. A girl that would most likely lose her life if Lilith succeeded and you, along with Mary, made it your mission to stop Lilith. Which led you to a warehouse where Lilith was on a screaming Ava, the Nun so gone you had absolutely no doubts Lilith would any anything for the Halo.

"-and you can't even appreciate that." Lilith hissed in the other girl's ear, "Your loss."

The Divinium blade stabbed into the middle of the Halo, sending severe pain through the Bearer's body. Her echoing screams joining the mystical sound reverberating from the golden glowing Halo itself.

"Enough!" Mary shouted, sprinting as Lilith started to carve the Halo out of Ava's back. In an unspoken decision, Mary tackled the Sister while you scrambled on your knees. You wrenched the knife from Ava's backsliding the blood-soaked blade in your combat boot.

"Ava, you need to get to the side. If Lilith comes, use the skills you gained from the Order." You told the teenager as you helped her up before running to join the combat.

"Fuck off!" Ava shouted, scrambling over to her unconscious friend JC. Another example of why relationships and friendships were impossible, a casualty in the work against the demons.

Your closed fist slammed Lilith's left cheekbone sending a splatter of blood from her lips; you dropped into a defensive crouch. Gracefully twirling, you avoided the hard kick from Lilith while Mary wiped the blood from her face. Lunging back from Lilith, you kicked her thigh, getting distance from her.

Lilith was about to slam her boot into your midsection when a familiar sound echoed in the warehouse. You all went still scanning the room for the unfortunate Tarask that would appear after a portal opened.

"Mary?" Lilith breathed, focused on the golden ripple behind the operative, who slowly turned as the screech grew louder. You stepped back beside Lilith as the Tarask entered the dimension just as terrifying as the last time. 

Slipping one of her shotguns, you raised it just taking a shot when it aggressively hit Mary, sending her halfway across the warehouse into a windshield. The shotgun in your hand started blasting at the increasingly pissed off demon.

Lilith was slowly unslinging the Divinium Sword from the scabbard on her back. Your eyes flicked from the movement to the Tarask towering in the room. It didn't take a genius to understand Lilith felt the need to prove herself as the rightful Bearer. 

"Lilith, no." You sternly spoke, flinching when the Tarask flipped a car towards Ava and the boy. The horrendous Tarask stopped as Mary joined in, shooting him as your shotgun clicked empty. 

Ava was stumbling back, keeping the boy behind her as the Tarask stalked her lifting one of its razor-sharp appendages. Lilith lunged in front of Ava in a moment of redemption as you tried to push Lilith away, but something lifechanging happened. 

A twin gasp filled the area as you felt something enter your body from behind. Glancing down, you saw the appendage had impaled your lower stomach right after it went through Lilith.

"No!" Mary screamed as you choked on the pain flooding your system. Sound faded as you could feel rather than hear your scream. A dribble of liquid slowly ran down the corner of your mouth, the copper taste bitter.

Red hot pain came from your midsection along with a deep cut oozing blood from your arm where Lilith had sliced your skin open with the Sword. Lilith slumped onto your back as she screamed, which had you literally slide off the Tarask's appendage with the lubrication of your own blood.

Your body connected with the floor having a first-row seat as Lilith whispered something that aided Ava in fighting the Tarask. With the swing of the Sword, the Tarask burst into flames vanishing through a portal with Lilith still on it.

Your eyes fluttered as Mary limped over your prone form. Maybe now you could join your mother in peace.

"No! Keep your eyes open," Mary demanded, struggling to lift you with her leg. A thin bead of blood-stained your cheek as it ran a path from the corner of your mouth.

Your eyes shut completely faded into a painless sleep.

The next time you woke up in the medical ward where you would stay for weeks after miraculously surviving what should have been fatal. Things changed for you, leaving doctors unclear; even Jillian Salvius' scientists and herself couldn't figure it out. Things got better, but the whole teleporting and you could see the demons once hidden from you.

There were other things you do, but that wasn't as important as the current moment deep in the catacombs of Vatican City. Soon you left Warrior Sisters to help Mother Superion in keeping the Reject Nuns from stopping your mission. After the last one fled, you watched as the entire area grumbled, Beatrice must have to blow up part of the tomb to retrieve Ava from whatever she'd found. You were proven right when Father Vincent carrying Ava appeared.

The Sisters recounted what happened, leaving you shocked. Ava had managed to phase through the twenty feet of solid rock to steal Adriel's bones. Instead of a pile of bones, Ava had found that the supposed Angel had been waiting for her. 

"He was alive?" You breathed, taken aback as Ava dropped the bomb that Adriel was alive and very much not an Angel. 

"He's a devil." Ava's words proved correct when invisible forces shoved the line of people far across from you. Unlike anything, you had ever seen before in your life.

A dark-haired man strode down the middle confidently with one wave of his arms, sending people flying away and dust from his lost robes. The man was dressed entirely in black and oozed darkness. His eyes gazed at Ava before meeting yours with a smirk. 

"Perfect."

Your eyes widened at his blunt statement issued directly at you, "Why is he looking at me like a prized possession?" 

"Stay here." Father Vincent spoke, pushing in front of everyone to make his way to the man who should have never been let out. Something deep in your stomach felt wrong; Father Vincent sent your heightened instincts flaring. 

You could hear a whisper in your head as somehow words reached across the great distance in Father Vincent's voice. 

"My master." Father Vincent verbally revealed his betrayal, leaving you breathless. He was one of few people that raised you from childhood, and he was evil. Adriel whispered to Vincent's ear, he was no Father, before stepping around him. 

"I admit my doubt laid in if you could be brought." Adriel's cultured voice spoke, staring at you, "My first step involved finding a capable human, 'A child's awakening born from despair. A child brought from a different part of the world'" 

You hyper-focused on the approaching man, barely noticing anything else, even the glance between Ava and Lilith. The entire group began fighting the man cleanly and professionally, you were drenched in blood from close combat.

In a lull, two girls came close together, each with a heavy heart at the short conversation and plan they had made. Lilith had had a dream that the only way for you to be safe was teaming up with Ava and it meant possibly never seeing you again.

"This is what you dreamed?" Ava demanded her former enemy. Lilith shook her head. 

"Not this exactly." Lilith murmured back, "It has to happen now. It's the only way, Ava." 

Ava squeezed her eyes shut as memories from a much happier time came into her memory before all she knew was heartache. 

"Ava, introduce yourself." Seven-year-old Ava looked up at her mother, "She looks sad." 

Ava nodded her small head-turning to the other child next to her, "Hi. I'm Ava." 

Ava felt happy when she managed to bring a smile to the girl beside her spending the next few hours talking. Ava hoped she would get to see you again, but life had other plans when the car accident happened. Ava would see when you were both jaded and cynical to the once innocent world they both knew. 

Grabbing Lilith's hand as Beatrice engaged the combat, Ava, with the Halo's power and the changes in Lilith, opened a portal. A single tear fell from Mary's eye as she slammed her boot into the armour of your combat outfit. 

"NO!" You screamed as the portal closed you from your friends, your team, your Sisters. You only caught sight of all them stalking towards your enemy.

The room, a garage of some kind, was modern with plants set in the glass wall with a well-used piano situated in front of it. The room was quiet, thankfully, as you hit the floor at a fast speed, still screaming. The thud echoed around the room as you laid on your side in the fetal position. 

"Please let the stitches be fine." You prayed, pressing your hand against your lower right quadrant. Your hand came back wet and sticky as you shouted in pain.

The black clothing hid the blood from your wounds, Adriel's blood and blood from your opened wound. You army crawled on your back towards a material, grabbing the dark sweater you screamed as you pressed against the wound. The pressure almost sending you unconscious.

"It's a killer song." 

Your breath hitched at the sound of a stranger, an American stranger too. You shuffled into the corner, unaware of the drops of blood you trailed.

"With Julie's voice, it will be great." Another voice spoke, faltering before speaking again, "Reggie? You okay, you've gone pale."

"Alex? Is that…is that blood?" Reggie, the guy that first spoke, whispered, looking at the drops leading to where the piano was situated. The two guys walked closer to where a small puddle of red liquid was smeared, "Yeah, that is definitely blood."

"Check on Ray and Carlos. I got Luke." Alex spoke, sharing a very concerned look with his bandmate. The two disappeared, unaware of the girl lightheaded intent on staying quiet.

With the room empty, you set about struggling to the bathroom for a mirror, the bruised skin barely shocking you. It came with being a Warrior Sister. Your hands shook as you washed the blood off, stilling at a door opening.

"Blood?" A feminine voice questioned. Peeking around the corner stood a Latina teenager with one of the boys from earlier, "Are you sure?" 

"Yes. Deadly. No pun intended." Reggie spoke, leading the exasperated teenager to where the piano was; congealing was the bright red fresh puddle of blood, "Your family is fine." 

"So is Flynn." Alex spoke, appearing with Luke beside him, "Luke was at the Orpheum.” 

It seemed your body decided to betray you with a jump in your heart rate and a flutter in your stomach. You winced, removing the pressure from the dark sweater shuddering as the black shirt pulled away from the wound.

"That is a lot." The newcomer, Luke, spoke, coming to a stop in front of the puddle frowning as he double-checked his guitars were safe. Julie's voice made the boys ashamed when she noticed something they didn't. 

"Did you happen to see there is a trail of blood as well?" Julie spoke, gesturing to the drops leading to the bathroom, "Whoever it is-"

Julie cut herself off with a scream as you lunged at her swinging a long sharp knife at her face; Julie stumbled, flailing as you glared at the terrified teenage girl. You didn't care who she was other than your mind was screaming danger. It was Julie being clumsy that was saving her life and you being weak.

"Oh my god! Julie!" Luke shouted at the sudden attack on his new friend and bandmate. All three were about to protect her, even though the sense of touch was still off and on.

You groaned, slumping to the ground once more, breathing heavily, and e/c eyes rolled back in your head, "Fuck." 

"She's a ninja!" Reggie yelped, ushering the group away from the girl in agony. His eyes taking in her youthful appearance and the dark black combat outfit. He didn't miss the bruises and cuts on her paling face.

"She almost killed me!" Julie shouted at the bassist, "In case you didn't see?! That knife came very close to slitting my throat!"

Tears filled your waterline as a feeling of being weak flooded your body in such a way you had never felt. You couldn't even protect yourself. The sense of despair taking most of your pain away as a sob broke through.

"She's crying!" The panic in the messy-haired boy voice broke through your tears. Tilting your head to see the very terrified teenagers, the despair was taken over by guilt.

"I'm sorry." You spoke, leaning up, "For…uh attacking you?” 

"Greatly appreciated." Julie sarcastically countered with a roll of her eyes, "Who are you?” 

"No, Julie, what are you?" Reggie inserted, pointing towards you with his index finger, whereas Alex was intently watching your movements.

"I'm in America. Wow." You chortled, collapsing into a fit of laughter, "Just when I thought life couldn't get more surprising! Oh, wait, I dropped out of a portal in the middle of a fight." 

"Can you explain why you're in our studio bleeding…oh, you're bleeding." Alex choked, bouncing on his feet as he frowned at your obvious pain. His eyes looking at the abandoned sweater you had been using against the wound, "If you promise not to attack can I get a first aid kit?"

You hesitantly nodded graciously, appreciating his kind offer, "Get a needle, thread and a lighter." 

Luke and Reggie reluctantly helped move you to the couch, with Luke grumbling about stains; he didn't like that a bleeding girl would be on his couch. You wheezed sitting on it, Luke's eyes widening as you started removing the tight black leather. 

"Uh, what are you doing?" Luke nervously questioned, scanning to find his friends. Julie had joined Alex in collecting your requirements, and Reggie was getting a bucket of water. 

"Removing my armour?" You spoke, sending him a weird glance wincing when the layer pulled the remaining stitches—a curse slipping out of your full lips. 

"Oh, that is disgusting." Luke grimaced, leaning away from the wound, still oozing blood and glancing at your chest with a deep blush. 

With the other three joining with the items, they watched as you cleaned the area with a wet towel revealing more of the gore. A sharp gasp when you shifted to check the entrance wound on your back, deeming it okay, you inspected the exit wound. 

"Okay, stitches tore only. That's good. I didn't want to deal with scrambling my organs." You chortled, removing your utility belt to fold and clench between your teeth. 

Doctoring the wound took your mind off your friends' survival, but the thud of a body brought you back to the here and now. Reggie, having seen you about to pierce your skin with the needle, had fainted. You raised one eyebrow before looking at the other three. 

"Uh, maybe look away?" You spoke, temporarily removing the belt from your mouth. Returning back to the task, you grunted as you stitched the wound as best as you could. By the time you finished, you were sweating.

"I fainted." Reggie groaned as he sat up, seeing that you were taking clothing from Julie and the first aid kit put aside, "I didn't think ghosts could faint." 

Julie and the Phantoms went silent as Reggie revealed their biggest secret to someone new. Julie groaned, putting her face in her hands while Alex shot the same annoyed and exasperated expression at the bassist. 

"Ghosts? Better than demons." You muttered with a sigh, "Can I use the shower?" 

Julie mutely nodded as she took in both the lack of response and your retort. Fifteen minutes later, a very different version came out of the bathroom. You were swamped in the flannel Luke had offered and the shorts from Julie, but you kept your thick combat boots. It was odd seeing you so feminine and free of blood. 

"Thanks." You smiled gratefully at the four teens, "So ghosts? Are all of you ghosts?"

"No. They died in 1995, I'm alive." Julie shrugged, taking a look at her newest best friends that had helped heal a part of her. Helped bring her back to music again, "I'm sure you may have heard of the band Julie and the Phantoms."

"No." You blankly replied, "Look, I was literally just at the Vatican an hour ago….which Beatrice partially blew up…"

Your words trailed off as the situation finally hit you full force because there was no way you were in Italy. Thinking back to the moments before you felt into a portal, you vaguely recalled Lilith meaning another dimension. 

"I need a phone." You demanded, quickly retrieving the one Julie offered to type in the phone number ingrained in your memory. One of the many things that Mother Superion had beaten into you literally.

"Andalusia, Spain's Authentic Castle Tours. How can I help you?" The voice asked, located in Spain at a desk in a business building near a deteriorating church. 

"Is Cardinal, I mean, a man named Duretti available?"

"I'm sorry, but we have no one in our employment by that name. Can I have a name, please?"

"Never mind." You gruffly replied, ending the call as you tossed the cellphone back to Julie, "I really did get transported. Stupid Vincent and Adriel."

A month was spent finding your bearings in a new dimension with people so far from your regular life it was astounding. Even though you had threatened Julie with a knife, at first, you had bonded with the girl. You were most peaceful when you were in the studio with Luke across strumming on his guitar to a new song. You had quickly become part of their friend group as time went on, and to be honest, you didn't really want to go back.

"What do you think?" Luke asked you, meeting your gaze, "Is it too soft?” 

"Aren't you the expert?" You smirked as he disappeared and popped up beside you on the couch with a smile. You weren't like typical girls Luke had known back in the '90s.

"Are you okay?" Luke questioned, turning his entire focus to give you a perfect view of his gorgeous eyes you could never distinguish between brown, green or even blue.

"Yeah. It's weird not having Mother Superion judging my moves or training with Beatrice, but it's okay." You half-smiled, recalling the people that had been in your life every day for years, "I miss them. They were my family."

Luke understood more than Julie ever would, and he knew more about your history than the others, "I get that." 

"I had a normal life. Parents that loved me and some friends I loved even at six years old. Memories of my mom are faded, but she got sick when I was five and passed a year later. My dad…he was struggling. His last good parental deed was putting me up for adoption." You admitted slouching to place your head on Luke's shoulder. His heart fluttered at the movement, "I never could make myself look him up. Hurt too much." 

"Yeah. I understand the feeling." Luke breathed through his nose, leaning his chocolate mess of hair on yours. The warmth flooding your systems.

The studio was empty other than you and Luke while Julie was at school. Reggie and Alex had left right after the living singer. You guess Reggie had found Ray at the site for his current photography appointment. Alex had a few places he could be at.

"Y/N!" The faint call of your voice in the distance startling you. The harsh yet feminine voice of one of the Sister Nuns bubbling hope in your stomach.

"Did you hear that?" You asked the ghostly guitarist, who frowned in confusion. Your eyes flickered around the studio frantically, "What the- "

"Y/N!" The voice grew louder in the room, with only it heard by you. Your body moved without thinking to the barn doors.

The doors opened with a gentle push as you followed the smoky wisp to the backyard and Luke behind you. Laughter sounded miles away from Julie and Reggie coming down the cement steps. Alex trailing behind only to halt watching your movements and Luke's questions falling on deaf ears.

"Come on! You said it would work!" The grit in the voice that had a life just as difficult as you in losing people. The smoky wisp flashed into a glowing portal as shiny as a frozen pond in the winter.

"I'm a little new at this, Ava! Opening dimensions isn't something that comes with a manual!"

"Lilith? Ava?" You breathed, reaching one hand out to the portal displaying a scene of two of your friends. Each wearing their combat outfits and grimaces as Lilith raised one hand up. 

"What in the hell is that?" Alex demanded, reaching to pull you back when your hand disappeared from the fingers to the wrist. Alex stumbled backwards at the sight of your hand being gone. 

"The portal," Luke interjected as you became mesmerized with the portal that had your life, your mission in life waiting. 

Glancing behind you, the four people that became just as important watched vigilantly as Ava and Lilith fell into the portal. The two girls quickly stood up in defensive movements scanning the surroundings.

Ava shoved Lilith off her to roll onto her stomach than her feet with a scowl. Ava's brown eyes clashed with your wide, shocked ones with an unmistakable look of relief. Ava's foot shoved the hand of Lilith's as her hand shoved Ava's calf. 

"Did that just…did she just-"Reggie struggled to make sense of the two girls appearing out of completely nowhere. His light eyes frantically moving between the people in the vicinity.

Striding up to the two girls, you punched Ava in the face with a hiss as a splotch of blood splattered your cheek.

"Ow!" Ava shouted, holding her cheek from the force of the hit with a frown.

"That's for sending me to another dimension!" You exclaimed before tugging her into a hug that left both of you uncomfortable. Her growing up in an orphanage and you in the Order had very little physical affection, "Vincent?" 

"Missing. Camila's been searching." Lilith interrupted, brushing the dirt from her clothing with a tentative smile. It was silent for a mere second before the formerly cold Nun lunged to hug you tight, "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Can someone please explain?" Alex questioned, flinching when Lilith made direct eye contact with the blonde drummer.

Her dark eyes staring the male down unflinching before her eyes found three other strangers standing around.

"Alex, this is Sister Lilith and Ava. We're teammates." You slowly admitted having kept some parts of the story from them.

They knew what you came from, a different world very different from theirs and worked for a secret organization. They didn't know much more than that as the Order's status as a secret.

"Teammates? Why are nuns involved in your group?" Luke asked, crossing his arms with furrowed eyebrows. Distrust sparkling in his hazel eyes for the first time since you first appeared in his life, and it hurt you.

"We're-” 

"Ava!" Lilith hissed, narrowing her eyes at the American girl hellbent on breaking all kinds of rules. Ava's scathing glare, in return antagonizing her further, "The only reason you know about the Order is because of the Halo."

"Because I would still be a dead formerly quadriplegic girl!" Ava snapped, glaring down the person that became a frenemy after the Vatican, "This thing in my back is the only reason I'm alive!" 

"I am so lost," Reggie mumbled under breath as the oddly dressed teenagers sparked into a rushed argument. His eyes caught Lilith's hand turning into a fist while Ava got all in the other girl's face.

Your eyes moved between the volatile duo that had brainstormed together to keep you safe. Without their secret plan, it was a wonder what Adriel would have had in mind with you. The memory of his fascination with your very being and the way it appeared he had somehow manipulated arrival to the Order. But how could he when he was trapped in a long-forgotten twenty-foot concrete tomb?

"Ava!" You commanded her full attention, "Stop. We have bigger things to worry about. Is there a plan to find Vincent?"

Both girls solemnly shook their heads in sync, "No."

"Let's get inside before Mr. Molina finds two strangers in his backyard." You ushered the two girls into the studio. Lilith scanned the building's interior, no doubt looking for threats as one would with the lives you had lived.

Ava was swift to take the kevlar upper body armour off her body, leaving a thin black long sleeve shirt. It was tossed onto the couch among the notebook you had been using for anything to do with your other life.

"What have I missed since Mary planted her heavy ass boot in my chest?" You demanded, recalling the painful feeling of Mary's kick. The tough girl didn't hold back in anything she did combat wise "How does she even walk in those cement traps?"

Julie and the guys found seats in the room around the three alien world individuals who spoke as if they were alone. They heard mentions of someone named Adriel and Areala with the odd mix of words they didn't comprehend.

"So we go back, and we kick his ass." You snapped, crossing your arms, "I didn't even get to use my new-"

"Are you forgetting he hit me, sending me a few feet in the air? How six of us, five being highly trained individuals, failed?" Lilith retorted, mirroring your stance, finding an ally in Ava's unstaggering support.

"They all threw daggers, Camilla unloaded her crossbow, Mary beating him with the shotguns and even shooting him? That barely left a dent! For fuck sakes, he took an arrow to the neck, and he still got up!" Ava completely snapped with a heated glare in her milk chocolate eyes with hints of dark chocolate.

"That goal wasn't to end him; it was just to kill seven minutes for Ava to recharge." Lilith uncharacteristically softened her tone. Her dark eyes lightened in both comfort and sympathy, "We almost didn't make out of the fight. Adriel brought his wraith demons-"

"Like the pussy he is." Ava scoffed, rolling her eyes at the look she earned from Lilith, "What! Just because you're a Nun doesn't mean I can't swear!"

"Question," Reggie spoke, raising his one hand in the air, receiving the Warriors' attention. She shrivelled under the glares of the Nun; your frown proceeded the sharp punch to Lilith's arm for her action.

"Don't be mean to him." You stepped closer to the band that had grown to be close with you despite the rough introduction. The arm of Luke's chair bumped your waist, knocking you off balance. Luke's warm hands settled on your hips to steady you.

"I only just got used to ghosts," Alex whispered to himself, pushing his hands through his hair. His expression solely of confliction and emotional agony.

"I'm sorry, but did he just say ghosts?" Lilith questioned, staring at the blonde-haired drummer, "Better question, why are you hanging around with them?"

"Because after I was so kindly shoved into another universe, they welcomed me in." 

"After you nearly slit my throat too." Julie inserted, climbing to her feet to station herself beside you. Her face stoic, staring down the two females opposite to you and her.

In a moment of unison, the dead boys all stood up to match Julie in her support. Luke's hand brushing against yours momentarily before his pinky wrapped around yours. Lilith and Ava didn't miss the small movement.

"Lilith, Ava, these are my friends. Julie and her band of ghost boys." You softly spoke, nodding towards the Puerto Rican teenager with a smile, "This is Luke, Reggie and Alex."

Alex lifted his hand shoved it into his jean jacket pocket with a happy smile that belied his anxiety and confusion. Reggie's flushed cheeks squished as he beamed at the new people while Luke was more cautious. 

"Ghosts?" Lilith questioned once more, with her stance becoming combative and distrusting. Her greying hair peeking out under her black combat veil, a testament to her time in the dimension where the Tarask took her.

"Relax. Lilith." Ava spoke, straightening up with her lips pursed together, but she refused to relax. The room had waves of tension from the people inhabiting the building at the moment, "We just came to grab you."

The residents all slightly stepped in front of you, Luke's one arm behind him as he kept his pinky intertwined with yours. While the whole story hadn't been revealed to them, they knew that whatever waited in your homeworld was much worse than a pesky Broadway wannabe ghost in vintage wear.

"I don't know the full story, but she is not returning with you. There's a reason why you sent her here." Luke passionately spoke, glancing at the two girls with ulterior motives to dropping in for a casual conversation.

Your finger squeezed the messy-haired guitarist's own finger before you stepped around the wall of four musicians. Your name whispered behind you as you stepped up to the Warrior Nuns in front of you. The room filled with tension.

"Lilith, unlike you and the other Nuns, I didn't choose this life. Neither did Ava. We both got handed a really shitty hand of cards that ultimately placed us in the path of the Order." Your hands reached out to grasp the older girl's hands.

Luke sent a look to his bandmates with a sick feeling sinking in his stomach as he anticipated your decision to leave. It physically ailed him as if it hadn't hit him before that this world wasn't the one you were from. Why wouldn't you want to get back to your own world with your family?

"-But you can't come back." Is the words Ava spoke that had Luke coming back to the present. A certain light feeling took over him.

"Not yet, at least." You murmured with a bittersweet smile placed on your pretty features. Despite ignoring it, Lilith and Ava had already known from the moment they saw your interactions with the band what the outcome would be.

This was your home. At least for now. Lilith couldn't blame you, not after what happened, and that was okay. It was safer with you here until they could figure out a plan about the havoc in their own world.

"If you want, you can stay here for the night." Julie offered with a small smile, "That way, you can catch up properly. My dad would be cool with the guys bunking in the basement." 

After the Orpheum, the boys had developed the capability to be seen when they wanted, and Ray was informed of certain parts. Ray knew much about them, but he wasn't privy to the tidbit that the guys were dead.

"We have to head back. You're completely sure you don't want to come with us? Things may go bad, and we won't be able to get you back. You'll be stuck." Lilith warned you with a faint smile upturning the corners of her lips.

"I'm not stuck. I think this is where I was always supposed to be, even if it's only temporary. In this life or the next."

"In this life or the next." Ava and Lilith echoed back before they opened the portal to your former world. The portal closed behind them, leaving you with a bittersweet feeling in your very soul.

A single tear trailed down the apple of your cheek as the life you once had closed, and who knew it you could return to that chapter. Calloused fingers brushed the tears off your cheeks before a pair of lips lingered on your forehead.

"You good?" Luke murmured against the warmth of your head. His heart ached for you because while his parents didn't know he was dead, he had the opportunity to visit them.

"I will be." You whispered, tiptoeing to press your lips against his soft pink lips. Luke sharply inhaled at the action before he melted into it.

Yeah, you would be okay.

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[marveloussupernerd]

Miss Trustfund Kid - Zen x Han!MC

Chapter 2 - Dinner Nerves

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Masterlist | Previous | Next

Synopsis: The younger sister of Jumin Han. An actor and model who thought he wanted nothing to do with the family. But you’re... different. And he could actually picture a life with you? If he wasn’t such an asshole

You were pacing the conference room nonstop. A negotiation dinner? Just sitting down with Zen to sign the papers made you want to throw up. You weren’t good at this

But what were you going to do? Jaehee had made reservations for the nice restaurant nearby, you were all dressed, you had sent Zen the information...

Jumin knocked on the door to the room, making you jump visibly. “Did I scare you?” He asked, closing the door quietly behind him.

You buried your face in your hands. “I messed it up, Jumin. He didn’t sign. He wants to talk more about it tonight.”

Jumin sighed, leaning against the conference table. “He’s always difficult. I didn’t think he’d be so bad for you, though. I’m sorry.”

“I’ve never done a negotiation dinner. This is so out of my league.”

He glanced over at you, eyes scanning your features. “You’re really stressed, huh?”

You pouted. “I just don’t like feeling like I’ve let you and dad down.”

He sighed, pushing himself off the table and wrapping you into a hug. “You’re not letting us down. You want me to go instead? I’ll whip him into shape.”

“I wanna go... I really do. But I’m just incompetent. And I messed it up already. I think I’d be better staying back and doing other work.” You felt dejected, but you had messed this up enough already. You didn’t want to risk the deal falling through because of you.

“Okay. Don’t worry about it.” He looked down at you. “You did great. Don’t feel bad.”

“I’m sorry...” you apologized again. Jumin just gave you a soft smile and excused himself, having to get ready for his dinner.

You settled down and got back to work, trying to avoid thinking about the situation. Hours passed, you absolutely refusing to look at your phone and trying to absorb yourself into your work to forget about the whole situation.

A knock sounded on the door, much later. The office that had once been lit up by the blue sky, now was illuminated only by the moon and the flourescent ceiling lights. You glanced at your phone: 9:17. Then at the door. You were surprised to see the model back, waiting for your beckoning to come in.

You stood up to meet him by the door. “Hi, come on in. I’m sorry I skipped out on our dinner; to be honest, I’m not fully confident in the negotiation sort of thing.” You flashed him an apologetic smile.

He chuckled. “I’m sorry for making you panic. I thought I was being upfront, but sometimes I just can’t get my point acros. I was actually just trying to ask you to dinner.” He pulled a bag of food from behind his back, holding it out in front of him. “Have you eaten yet?”

Oh. You were an idiot. You felt heat rushing to your face: you were pretty bad at picking up on those sorts of signs, huh? “I’m so sorry!” You buried your face in your hands. “I’m so stupid. Yes. I’d love to have dinner with you.”

“Good.” He strolled over to the table, taking a seat next to the one you had been working at, laying out the burgers and French fries he had gotten. “It’s nothing like the place we were supposed to go to, but still.”

“You went there anyways!” You giggled, happily taking some of the fries.

“Yeah, but I got out of there as quickly as possible when I saw who I had to meet with. You sent Jumin after me? Really? I’m hurt.” He held his chest in fake pain.

You shrugged unapologetically. “Well, he’s the one who signed me up to do this, so it was his job to clean up my supposed mess.”

“I thought you were ghosting me.”

“No! I’m just really bad at picking up signals. My relationship and flirting life has been very dry,” you explained, looking down at your food, embarrassed to admit it.

“Really? But you seem so fun to be around.”

You shook your head. “People take one look at me and run for the hills. I can’t say I blame them though. Everyone thinks I’m stiff and intimidating and snobby.”

“You genuinely look like none of the above. You seem like a nice, beautiful, down to earth person.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” you grinned, unable to hide the smile on your face.

The room fell into a comfortable silence for a minute, the two of you focusing on your food. You decided to break it and get to know him better. “So, do you have any siblings?” Obviously you had one, that went without saying, but you wondered if he was an only child or if he had to share the spotlight too. You could see either case.

“I have an older brother, yeah, but I’m not really on good terms with my family...”

“That sucks. I’m sorry about that. Could I ask why?”

You were afraid of him shutting you down, but he just looked at you and smiled. “Well, they’re really well educated and they didn’t really support my dreams to be an actor, so...”

“Oh. My family’s chaotic and all but they’ve always supported my career goals, so that’s nice. I’m sorry your situation is so different.”

You finished up your food, throwing the empty containers into the bag and throwing it away.

“Thank you for bringing me food. Sorry I’m embarrassingly bad on picking up your cues earlier. It was really sweet of you to come see me,” you told him. Nobody had ever gone out of their way for you. They just wanted you for the status or the money — well, it was quite possible he was the same, but he didn’t feel like it. You hoped you were right.

“Of course.” He stood up from his spot. “Uh, now I’m always a gentleman, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m super attracted to you and I would love to give you a kiss good night.” His ears were tinted red at his own statement, but his eyes met yours, no fear or hesitation in them.

You giggled. He was just so cute and chivalrous? This was probably a bad decision. “Of course you can.”

He cupped your cheek, leaning in close. He smelled like peppermint. His nose brushed against yours, taking his time to place his lips on yours.

“Miss Han, I hate to interrupt, but you have a call on line one,” Jaehee stated, standing awkwardly in the doorway and rubbing her arm.

You jumped back from Zen. “Oh! Thank you!” Flustered, you went over to the desk and picked up the phone, sending an apologetic glance over to Zen.

“Hello,” you started the call, grabbing your notebook and planner just in case you needed it, “this is Y/N Han.”

“Hi! Sorry for the late call. This is James Amei from NovaTech. I was looking over our contract and found something we wanted to talk over.”

“Oh! It’s no problem. I’m working late as always anyways. We’ll get you in here as soon as possible to discuss...” you glanced up at Zen, who was still standing where you left him, a look on his face that you couldn’t quite read. “Uh, how’s Tuesday at 2:30?”

A pause. “That’s great. Thank you so much.”

“No problem!” You flipped through your book. “Have a great rest of your night, and tell Shannon I said hi!”

He bid you good night then hung up. You looked back over to Zen. “Sorry about that. The work never ends.”

He was still blank faced, staring at you. You looked down at your hands, trying to figure out what the issue was.

“Oh! I write down details about all the people I correspond with in my journal. It’s nice to recall little things about them, like his wife or whatever.”

Nope. That wasn’t it.

“Are you okay? Do you need a water?”

He blinked hard, then shook his head. “I’m... your his sister?”

“Huh?”

Oh. Jumin’s. You nodded your head. “I honestly thought you knew.”

He shook his head violently. “I didn’t know. I- God. I hate his guts. How can you two seem so different?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Well we have different moms. And we were raised different. He was raised as the heir to the company. I was just raised as... me.”

“You’re Miss Trustfund Kid?”

Uh. So maybe he wasn’t as amused by this as you thought he may be.

“...an argument could be made for that, yes. I didn’t realize you didn’t know, and I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”

You were almost... offended? That the second he found out who you were his whole attitude took a shift. It sucked. This is how it always was though.

He ran a hand through his hair, his face looking far more tired than it did a few minutes ago. “I’m sorry. I’m being rude. I just- you’re his sister!?”

“Yup.”

“Like you two... played together as kids!?”

“Jumin didn’t really like children’s toys all that much.”

Zen frowned. “Of course he didn’t. But still. You grew up together?”

“Yes. He’s a few years older though.”

“You grew up with V?”

“Of course.”

Zen took a seat. “I just... wow. Wow.”

“You look like someone told you you have a week to live.”

He glanced at you, then pouted. “I’m just surprised.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “What? You don’t like me now? What’s so different, I have money?” You grinned. “I’m a college student getting my PhD, so I’m definitely no Jumin.”

“I just assumed you were going to be in the family business.”

You grinned, shaking your head. You were proud of paving your own path. “Nah. I’m in law and I want to be a professor.”

“You’re so badass.”

“You so hate that you like me.”

He stood from his chair, leaning forward to lock his lips with yours. It wasn’t the chivalrous, gentle sort of kiss that you were expecting a few moments ago, but it was just as good, maybe even better? He was a fury of emotions and passion and he was handsome and witty and amazing. Even if this was a bad idea, it was a great one.

Until a voice broke you out of your spell.

“What in God’s name are you doing to my sister?”

Thank you for reading!

Taglist: @imatalossforwords lmk if you want to be added :)

[adultswim2021]

Home Movies #41: “Bye Bye Greasy” | January 18, 2004 - 11:00 PM | S04E03

WOW. I found out I had a candy left. What a great night.

“Bye Bye Greasy” is about Brendon directing the school play. His big idea is that he’s going to get McGurk to play the role of “Slick Rick”, and have him drive his actual car onto the stage. McGurk, completely enchanted by the prospect of getting to drive his car into a building, agrees. Shannon, the bully voiced by Emo Philips, intimidates Brendon into giving him the lead role. Melissa finds out she’s allergic to Kiwi and is morbidly distressed by this new-found knowledge and obsesses over the idea of accidentally eating Kiwi. (Penn Jillette voice) and Kenny... DIES.

The “OBVIOUSLY MORE WRITTEN” season of Home Movies just keeps on trucking and this episode more-or-less seems to work as evidence of that descriptor. Act one is basically just all the characters setting themselves up for some kind of failure and it happening in the last half. But the execution is so wonderful that the simple script shouldn’t really bug anyone watching. How great is it to see McGurk locked in his car while singing his big number, and then not be able to get the car off the stage. The idea of having to back out of a tight space in front of an auditorium full of people would fill me with so much dread. Like, personally speaking, I’m a really good parker unless I know somebody is watching me park, and I get so nervous. McGurk’s scene really made me squirm. It’s so funny. 

Also: the songs are real fun.

Okay, that’s it. That’s the end of the review. This is a really good episode. Like, top ten easily. Season 4 has some excellent episodes. This one also has three, COUNT ‘EM! three audio commentary tracks and they are all entertaining. Eugene Mirman is in one! For some reason!

MAIL BAG

Here we go... with the mail bag guys... sheesh!

It's funny that at the end of Space Ghosts life they finally made an "Adult Swim" style episode of Space Ghost. Flipmode is the only one that comes close but even that one could possibly air on Cartoon Network.. Not sure if  this move ultimately repulsed the creators or was just the final piss off before dumping the series for good. It's likely they only intended to do a little bit of Space Ghost and Brak until their new shows Birdman, ATHF and Sealab stood on their own. Lot to think bout!

But lets not lose sight of the fact that Space Ghost rules and they shoulda had it be on every single night in reruns and they should have done a new episode every week without a break and they should’ve played uncut episodes and just shown nasty nasty adult swim shorts to fill the extra time instead of editing the reruns and also every episode should’ve been on DVD at once in a big box set and every episode should’ve had commentary and C. Martin Croker should still be alive.

Hmm. No favs on that last entry. Do people really not like Tornado Shanks or are people sick of your mailbag segment? Hmm?

I fucking HATE IT and you are a bitch!

I'll miss this blog but good luck with your new job! Hopefully it's writing for Adult Swim FOR REAL.

I’m not quitting the blog. For some reason. So no worries there mate.

When's the last time you were thoroughly pigeonholed?

Hmm!!! Good QUESTION! It’s always at the hands of a coworker that you avoid. I remember I worked at a gym/video store combination this dude would keep making jokes about me being a stoner despite the fact that I not use marijuana and also I did not have the personality of a stoner. I have the personality of a pissed off guy

Disney's Doug dealth with puberty and burgeoning sexual encounters even though it was set in the 6th grade. Do you think it had enough Adult content to make the block. Obviously Disney wouldn't let it happen but how about since Baby Blues did then maybe this show could. Did you see Doug's 1st Movie. Please don't say you detest Doug. I hate when you just reply "I detest this" it's so lazy both spiritually and intellectually. Sorry. You are probably OK in real life. Just thinking about Doug.

No obviously not. Doug was a childish series. Baby Blues was pushing it in THIS cub reporter’s HONEST opinion. Doug was okay for a kid’s show but boy, did I not like it that much. I watched it because it was appropriate of me to do so. I strive for appropriate situations. This whole thing stinks.

[croonerboy1965]

Home

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Home- Buddie Fic

Eddie arranged the rolls of shirts and pants, stuffing his suitcase as tightly as he could. He learned this military style of packing when he was in the armed forces, and now it was just habit.

After he had Christopher down for the night, he packed the last of their belongings, and prepared himself for bed. 5:30 in the morning came early, and they didn’t want to miss their flight.

Even though they had lived in Los Angeles for a while now, they had very few belongings. In the process of moving from place to place looking for a city with a large enough fire department, and good schools for Christopher, they had left things behind each time, until they paired it down to the most essential things.

Eddie slipped off his shirt and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. He stood shirtless in the bathroom mirror and began brushing his teeth, when he heard a light tapping at the door.

He peered through the peep hole for a moment, unlocked and opened the door to reveal Buck standing there. Buck gave him a look up and down, taking in Eddie’s tight and muscular physique, clearing his throat before speaking.

“Hey!”, He said a little too enthusiastically. The sight of Eddie shirtless always made him a little overly excitable.

“Haigh”, Eddie muffled, foam trailing down his chin, as he continued to scrub his teeth.

“Hey… So… I know it’s kind of late…“, Buck said.

“Yeah.”, Eddie garbled with a mouthful of toothpaste. “One sheck…“

He spit into the sink. 

“Yeah We’ve got an early flight tomorrow.”, Eddie said.

“Yeah so… That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Can I come in for a second?“, Buck leaned his way in, and Eddie took a step back. Buck, hands in his pockets, pushed past Eddie and turned to face him once inside.

“So – – you’re really going to Seattle, huh?”, Buck said, looking down at his feet, then sheepishly into Eddie’s eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk to you about it, but the opportunity came up fast and I had to make a decision.“ Eddie said.

“It means a Captain’s position, and more money, and maybe even a nicer school for Christopher.“, Eddie said.

“That all sounds great.“ Buck said, sounding less than pleased.

“Yeah… I found a really nice place out there, lots of room for me and Christopher and maybe even a dog…“

“ …is there something you wanted to tell me?“, Eddie asked

“Don’t leave.”, Buck said

“It’s too late we already have tickets, everything is packed.”, Eddie said.

“No… That’s not what I meant.” , Buck said shaking his head.

Eddie cut him off. “Look... I know what you’re going to say, but after Shannon died, I’ve been having a really hard time… just I don’t know… Being in the city… In this city.“, Eddie said.

“Yeah I get that…it’s just—“, Buck tried to say.

“So I just felt like maybe it was time to start over again.“, Eddie continued.

“We’ll see each other. I’ll have you out to the new place. It’s actually not that far. We can still call each other and text, we can even FaceTime…“

“Yeah… I’ve heard all this before.”, Buck said disappointingly.

As Buck turned to leave, Eddie called after him. “Buck… Wait.”

Buck turned back to Eddie, and raised his voice in frustration. “You know, I understand what it feels like to live with a ghost. A ghost of somebody you loved. I know how hard it is every day, wishing you could be with the person you cared about so much. But you can’t let that get in the way of everything you built here. Everyone here who loves you.”, he said.

Eddie looked into Buck’s eyes and saw a kind of desperation there, as if Buck was holding something back.

“I know… I love everybody here too. You guys are like my family.”, Eddie said

“No! It’s more than that!” Buck said, almost shouting.

“You can’t leave…”, he said, pleading.

“I mean we’re moving away but and like I said, it’s not that far—”, Eddie said

“No! I mean me!”, Buck said cutting him off sharply. He lowered his voice and stared more intently into Eddie’s misty gaze. “You can’t leave me.”, he insisted, his voice breaking, tears welling in his eyes.

Before Eddie could speak, Buck grabbed him, pulling him into a tight embrace, kissing him squarely on the lips. Eddie fell into the lip-lock, his mind swirling, The sudden rush of emotion overcoming him like a wave.

He pulled back from the kiss for a moment. They stared into each other’s eyes, searching—each one looking at the other like an entirely new person they never realized was there before.

Then Buck turned on his heels and left as fast as he could. He was out the door gone as Eddie called after him, “Buck wait!”, but he was off into the night.

The next morning Eddie and Christopher arrived in a cab at the airport, and proceeded to go through check-in. The whole time, Eddie could not stop thinking about Buck. Stubborn, impulsive, soft-hearted and sometimes overly emotional Buck. His lost little puppy dog look, that he gives whenever he has made a mistake or disappointed Eddie, or anyone really. The way he smiles and lights up the room whenever he sees Eddie, and especially Christopher. He didn’t think anyone could love Christopher more than he could, but he was pretty sure Buck could out-love almost anyone, except maybe Christopher himself. It was then that he realized, how much he loved Buck.

Up on the roof, he meant what he said, but maybe it meant just a little bit more. Maybe— just maybe, this one fact, was enough. For the first time ever, he considered that he might have been running all along, away from the one thing, the one person he should have been running toward.

As the plane began to board, Eddie and Christopher were called up first, as disabled passengers pre-board. Christopher hopped up and started to amble toward the gate, when Eddie stopped him in mid-stride. He knelt down in front of his son and looked him in the eye and said, “Hey buddy, hold on a second.”

“What’s up, Dad?”, Christopher asked.

“I wanted to ask you something…”, He looked down and tried to gather his thoughts.

“How would you feel, if we stayed here, and umm didn’t go to Seattle.”, he asked.

Christopher smiled and looked into Eddie’s eyes reassuring him.

“That sounds good Dad.”, he said.

“Okay…One more thing… So…I wanted to ask you about Buck…”

“Buck!”, Christopher said, grinning wide.

“Yeah—about Buck…”, Eddie said.

“No! Dad, Look!”, Christopher exclaimed as he pointed over Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie turned and saw Buck coming toward him at a clip that almost broke into a full on run.

Maddie was not far behind him.

“Eddie!”, Buck exclaimed, “Wait!”, but Eddie was frozen in place. He wasn’t going anywhere even if he could have. Buck reached Eddie and began to speak between exasperated breaths.

“I needed to tell you something…”, Buck said.

“If it’s about last night, then don’t even worry about it. It doesn’t matter.”, Eddie said.

“What do you mean?”, Buck said, concerned he might have come all this way for nothing.

“I mean—I don’t mean—“, Eddie stammered.

Buck looked so disappointed. And then, a look of restrained anger crossed his face, as he tried to sort out his feelings.

“Tell me!” Buck demanded.

“Ok.. “ Eddie said as firmly and calmly as he could. Eddie placed a hand on Buck’s shoulder. This reassuring touch always put Buck at ease. Eddie had a way with his tone that was so loving, so parental. It always made Buck feel safe.

Eddie began to speak in earnest. Buck listened intently, as he looked into the steady gaze of Eddie’s eyes. They had the look and the warmth of a sip of aged whisky, and were almost as sweet as the words Buck heard from Eddie’s lips.

“You know, I can stay here, or move to Seattle, or halfway around the world. But anywhere I go—it won’t feel like a home without you. You...ARE my home.”, Eddie said.

I’ve been holding on to this for a while now. I wanted to give it to you before.”, Eddie continued. He looked down at his ring finger.

“It’s my old wedding band. I know it’s not much, but it represents a promise. A promise unfulfilled between me and Shannon. I kept it because it represents my love. The love I had for her. And you are the only person I can think of who deserves that love more. The only person I love more than her, and after Christopher, the only man I ever loved.

You give so much. You risk your life every day for strangers, and you defend and love my son like he’s your own. You have saved both our lives more times than you know. And you smile through every single bad thing in front of you. And even when you thought you had nothing left to give, you chose us before yourself.

All I want to do is spend every single day trying to be even half as selfless...half as brave. You make me more than I ever thought I could be. You showed me how to love again, after so much loss. You gave me back to myself. At first, I felt scared and embarrassed by my feelings for you. But when I thought I might lose you up on that roof? I knew it didn’t matter. Because nothing scares me more than the thought I might lose you. I don’t care if some people don’t understand. I know you. I trust you. I need you. And I don’t want to spend another second being ashamed or afraid. I love you, and I hope I’m right, in thinking you love me too…”

“So…”, He continued, pulling the ring from his finger and getting down on one knee, taking Buck’s hand in his own. He was shaking as he looked up into Buck’s eyes, praying he saw agreement there. He offered the ring up, his eyes wet.

“Evan Buckley, will you do me the great honor of marrying me?”, he said as he saw a look of consternation come across Buck’s face. Eddie’s face fell into disappointment, and he thought he should just stand back up.

“Buck, say yes!”, Christopher said. This made Buck laugh nervously. He gave Christopher a smile that was part loving and part heartbreak. He glanced up at Maddie, and she gave him a look that said, ‘Come on already!’. He put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, stopping him from rising to his feet. 

To Eddie’s surprise, Buck also got down on one knee. He removed a ring box from his own pocket. He turned it slowly over in his hands, before meeting Eddie’s gaze, which had brightened considerably. The look was quizzical, but also relived.

“So…I have been carrying this thing around for a while now.”, Buck looked up at Eddie, and saw his eyes filled with tears.

Christopher looked up at Maddie and she gave him a reassuring squeeze from behind.

“It’s ok buddy.”, she smiled down at him. She whispered, “Just watch.”

Buck began again. “So— I am not as good with words as you are, but here it goes…

All my life, I struggled to find somewhere I belonged. I went from job to job, girl to girl, searching for something or someone to hold on to. But no matter where I went, or who I latched onto, it just never took.”, Buck’s voice quavered as he said, “And then—and then I met you.”

Eddie was in a full weep now, and he wiped tears away from his eyes with the back of his hand.

This made tears roll down Buck’s cheeks as well, but he let them fall and continued, opening the ring box as he did so.

“I was going to return this ring I bought for Abby, but then I thought I might have it reset into a different band. I figured I could wear it to help keep women away.”,  Buck laughed to himself.

“ I decided I would just tell them I was already married so… then I wouldn’t have to risk getting hurt…but it didn’t work.”, he said, exhaling.

Eddie put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and fought back the urge to pull Buck into him and right on to the floor in a bear hug.

“Anyway—after the whole thing on that rooftop, when I realized how wrong I was, and how badly I wanted to live. I also realized why. It’s you Eddie. It’s always been you. From the minute you came into my life, I have wanted nothing else. He continued, his voice breaking. Back when I was Buck 1.0, I slept around, trying to cover up my feelings, hiding who I was. And you made me realize that I could love all day long, but it was never going to matter until I decided to love myself. You gave me that Eddie, You made me see myself as worthy of love. It’s just like you said—“you gave me back to myself.”  And for the first time in my life, I feel complete. A wise man, once told me, ‘You don’t find a great love like this...You make it.’  And I can’t think of another person on this earth, I would rather spend my life making a love like that with. I was only hoping maybe, after everything, you might feel the same way I do…”

Eddie cut him off and pulled him into a kiss, that almost toppled them both over.

“I do.”, He said earnestly, as he pulled his mouth away, their foreheads keeping contact.

“So…You do?!”, Buck said, smiling through tears, relieved. He could not remember the last time he was this happy.

Buck turned to Maddie and Christopher and said gleefully, almost shouting, “HE DOES!”

Maddie rolled her eyes. “Duh!” She said.

Both men stood up to full height and wrapped their arms around each other in a long rocking embrace, kissing one another between squeezes. Christopher squealed in delight as they rushed to him, and swept him up in to their arms, and kissed his face all over until the giggles bubbled out of him. In the rush of emotion, they had forgotten all about the rings.

“The rings!”, Maddie piped up in mid embrace with all three of her favorite boys.

Buck ran over and scooped them up off the floor, where they had been dropped. He handed the one meant for him, over to Eddie, looked at him and Maddie saying, “It’s too bad the rest of the crew couldn’t be here to see this.”, Buck said, sounding a little disappointed.

“Let me see what I can do about that.”, Maddie said. She turned and faced the rest of the onlookers in the gate’s waiting area, which Eddie had realized up til now he had not even noticed, as Maddie stuck her fingers in her mouth and gave a whistle.

“Guys! You’re up!”, she shouted.

Eddie looked and saw several people drop what they were reading. Some were in wide brim hats, some had collars turned up. It took him a second before he realized everyone was already here. One by one, the crew all stood up. Abuela stood up. They all clapped and cheered. Eddie turned to Buck who was giving him one of his signature mischievous grins.

“You did this?”, Eddie said.

“WE did.”, Maddie said, hugging her brother around the waist. “Buck knocked on my door last night, and he was pretty shook up and more excited then I think I have ever seen him. We had a long talk and— well the rest is history.”, she said.

“Last call for flight 247 to Seattle now boarding.”, the overhead PA system chimed in.

“We better get to it then, huh?”, Eddie said.

It hit Buck all at once. Eddie was leaving. His mind raced as he spat out the words: “Marry Me!”

“I already said—“, Eddie began.

“No, I mean right here. Right now.”, Buck insisted.

“Right here?”, Eddie said, in a quizzical tone.

“Yes.”, Buck said emphatically. He was not going to let another person he loved, leave him behind. This time, he was going to seal the deal. This one was not getting away. Eddie turned to Christopher to get his approval.

“What do you think buddy?”, he asked, already knowing the answer.

“Definitely, YES!”, Christopher said, more certainly than Eddie had ever heard him sound before—“Do it Dads!”, he ordered, making everyone smile and laugh to themselves.

Eddie shrugged and said: “OK! But how do we do this?”

“Funny you should ask…”, Maddie interjected again. But it just so happens, it is really easy to become legally ordained on the internet. She pulled a printed, sheet of paper from her jacket pocket and un folded it.

“This little piece of paper right here, gives me the right to marry you in the state of California.”, she said with pride as she fluttered her eyes at Eddie.

Eddie looked at Buck, who again was grinning from ear to ear, with a look of wonder on his face. He didn’t know what to say. Buck shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well— I figured I’d take a shot. I know it’s really fast and we can wait…I can come out to Seattle with you, whatever.”

He glanced over to the gate attendant and waved them on. He watched as they closed the gate.

“Bah, I’ll take a different flight.”, Eddie said.

Buck kissed him and looked around at all his friends.

“Save some for the honeymoon guys!”, Chim teased, to which Hen elbowed him and gave him a dour look.

“Don’t yuk their yum.”, she scolded.

“It was a joke!”, he said, making Maddie roll her eyes.

“Ahem,” she cleared her throat.

“So do you Evan Buckley—“, she began, before Eddie interrupted.

“Wait, what about vows??”, he said.

“Well I don’t know about you all, but those proposals—sounded like pretty good vows to me.”, Athena said to the group. Everyone nodded in agreement. “Now let’s get on to the good part.”, she prodded. “I think you boys have waited long enough.”, she said.

“So!”, Maddie said, picking up where she left off.

“Do you Evan Buckley take this man, Eddie Diaz, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”, she asked.

Buck could Barely contain him self as he slipped the ring on Eddie’s finger. His hands shook so much that Eddie had to guide Buck’s hand. He nodded, to Buck as the ring slipped into place, encouraging him to go on.

“I do. I definitely, definitely do!”, he said almost too loudly. He thought he might pass out from sheer joy.

Maddie went on, “And do you, Eddie Diaz, take Evan—uhh—Buck, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”, she asked.

“Hell yes, I do.”, Eddie said. He thought he might never stop smiling or crying. 

Abuela coughed, and Eddie looked over at her and down at Christopher, in shame.

“I mean. HECK YEAH, I DO!”, Eddie said as he placed the ring on Buck’s finger.

Christopher looked up at his 2 dads and giggled, grinning.

“KISS!” he yelled, causing another ripple of laughs from the crowd.

Maddie held up a hand. “Almost…”, she said.

“Then by the power invested in me by the Church of the Internet and the City of Los Angeles, I now pronounce you, married.”

She turned to face the crowd of onlookers, family and friends.

“Everyone—I give you, Mister and Mister Diaz-Buckley!”, she announced.

Eddie tapped her on the shoulder and whispered in her ear.

Maddie leaned in, listening, as Buck gave Eddie a questioning look.

“CORRECTION,” she announced. “I give you Mr. and Mr, BUCKLEY-Diaz!”

Eddie smiled and winked at Evan. Buck looked like he might cry again.

“Aww, you remembered.”, Buck said.

“Of course I did”, Eddie said, “You don’t think I know my own husband?”

“You may now Kiss… Uh AGAIN!”, Maddie said.

“YEAH!”, Christopher cheered raising a fist into the air.

And with that, Eddie and Buck brought their lips together in a full on, out in the open, right there in front of the whole world kiss.

Everyone watching brought out a popper, and cracked them open, pulling on the strings and releasing confetti and streamers in to the air.

After the ruckus settled down, Bobby spoke.

“Well it’s a good thing this all worked out, because there is a reception and open bar for anyone who would like to come by our place and celebrate the newlyweds.”, Bobby said, slipping his arm around Athena’s waist.

Athena looked up at Bobby like he was crazy.

“What did you do?!”, she said.

“Don’t worry about it… I had a little help.”, he said shrugging his shoulder in the direction of Josh and Micheal. Athena glared over at them.

“What can I say? I love to throw a party!”, Josh said, trying to assuage her.

“As long as you all help clean up, I suppose it’s fine.”, Athena conceded, looking back at Bobby and the kids.

“Don’t worry, we will.”, they said in unison.

“MMMhmm…”, she said holding back a smile.

The reception was lovely. The house and yard was awash with white lights strung everywhere, there were fresh flowers and balloons and even some gifts. A wedding cake that looked just like the 118 firehouse, with two little firefighters on top. They even remembered to paint in Bucks red hair and birthmarks.

“Looks just like you.”, Eddie said.

“Actually, I am a little taller.”, Buck said.

There was even room for a makeshift dance floor. Hen volunteered to be DJ and Karaoke Master of Ceremonies, and Chim and Karen, greeted guests and helped serve drinks. It was perfect.

Hen took the microphone and announced, “Ladies, Gentleman, and Gender Fluid guests…May I present to you the Happy couple, and there fist dance.”

Buck took Eddie’s arm into the crook of his own and led him to the dance floor.

The music began. And the held one another so close, Buck could feel Eddie’s gentle breath on his neck, as he lay his hear on buck’s shoulder, his eyes closed. He was lost in the moment. In a place where only the two of them existed. Swaying back and forth, back and forth, drunk on champagne and true love. The music washed over them and Eddie could hear Buck’s heart beating softly in time with his own. Buck, eyes closed, gently lead them round and round, finally feeling at peace and at home.

I hear a song,

Drifting on the horizon

The melody is so sweet, so sweet

Who composed the tune?

It lifts my heart higher

I sit down to retire

And hear what it has to say

Love is here,

I don't wanna lose it no

The tune it was so inspiring,

It kept my body rising,

Absorption taking place

The melody so lovely,

The tune it was so subtle

The world's a wonderful place

I see him now,

The clouds begin to disperse

To reveal a wonderful presence,

A presence full of love

He is so lovely,

Standing there looking after me

Seeing just how I feel,

The presence of love itself

Love is here,

I don't wanna lose it no

The tune it was so inspiring,

It kept my body rising,

Absorption taking place

The melody so lovely,

The tune it was so subtle

The world's a wonderful place

Dum, dum dum, duh duh dum….

Love is here,

I don't wanna lose it no

The tune it was so inspiring,

It kept my body rising,

Absorption taking place

The melody so lovely,

The tune it was so… subtle

The world's a wonderful place

Love is here

Love is here

Love is here

Love…is… here.

[sisterpiranha]

The Art of Snake Charming, ch. 8

Pairing: Lawrusso, Daniel Larusso/Amanda Larusso (at the start, I mean, they are engaged) Johnny/Shannon, mention of Johnny/others

Summary:  Johnny is a stripper. Daniel has a bachelor party. Louie is an idiot.

MASTERLIST

(translations for the Spanish text at the end)

I've been struggling with this story a bit since I'm in two minds about how to end it. And this is a decision I should make before moving forward. So just to give myself time to mull this over, I wrote this chapter from Johnny's perspective and about his history. It's extra self-indulgent and has little to no dialogue. So I'm very sorry.The good news is that it can be skipped without affecting the reading of the rest of the story. So enjoy! (or not!)

As usual, not beta. And I didn't have time to edit this as much as I wanted, so there might be more mistakes than ever. And the tenses are all over the place.

CHAPTER 9

Johnny saw Daniel leave. He saw the door closing behind him and wondered if he would see him again. Probably not. Or if he did, it wouldn't be the same. He’d be married by then, maybe had kids of his own. And Johnny would be nothing but a stupid mistake of his past. He wondered what would happen if they were to meet in 15 years. Would Daniel avoid him? Pretend he didn’t exist? Or would he say hello like they were old friends and ask him how he had been, like he had never begged Johnny to stay the night with him or ask for a kiss goodbye? Would Johnny still care? He didn’t doubt that he would. He had carried Daniel in his heart for the past 17 years and he had little doubt that he’d be a weight pulling him down for 17 more.

Johnny felt tears running down his cheeks and rubbed them furiously with his hand. He was stronger than this, he had to be. It’s not like he hadn’t known it would end this way. From the moment he had seen Daniel’s big Bambi eyes staring at him in shock a few nights ago, he had known that whatever happened, he would have ended up broken-hearted.

Daniel had been his first crush, the one that had made him realise that he wasn’t as straight as he would like to be, the one that catalyzed everything. Even back then, he would think of what things would have been like if they were different. What if Johnny had had balls enough to break away from his friends and Kreese and extend an olive branch to Daniel? Would the boy have taken it? Would they have become friends? Johnny liked to imagine so. 

But his olive branch had come too late. After the tournament, he’d wanted to go see the other boy to apologise, make amends, show him that he could be better than he had shown himself to be, but he always put it off. After the poisonous haze of Kreese had cleared from his mind and the bruises from his face and neck disappeared, shame had taken control. It was only six months later that he managed to gather enough courage to go find him.

But he was nowhere to be found. His old apartment was not occupied by someone else, and no one answered at Miyagi's place.

Johnny would come back to the old man's house and wait outside for a while in case he had missed them, in case he had caught them when they were away, but they had all been gone. And Daniel became a ghost alive and real only in Johnny’s memories. 

The last time he had waited for him was after being thrown out of his house. Sid had caught wind of the kind of clubs Johnny had been frequenting. Between that and him quitting school, it had been the last straw. He didn’t remember much from that night, but amidst the pain from Sid’s punches and the sound of his mother crying still ringing in his ears, what he remembered the most was sitting on the hood of his car for hours and hours, drinking beer after beer and looking at every passerby in the hopes that he would recognise the big brown doe eyes that he craved. As if by just wishing, he could make Daniel materialise in front of him. He had slept in his car that night and had woken up the next day hangover and with the certainty that Daniel had left for good. 

That had been the start of his downward spiral. 

Much of his twenties, he had spent in a haze of alcohol, drugs and sex, making the worst decisions possible and trying very hard to purge every single memory of his last year of high school from his brain, and yet, countless times, waking up in bed with dark-haired men with big soft brown eyes and tan skin that looked nothing like Daniel in the harsh light of day. 

There were many wake-up calls during that time: ending up in the hospital with an overdose or after getting beaten up, getting arrested for stealing and solicitation, almost being sent to prison. Without friends, without his family and without a sensei, he looked for the worst company he could find and let himself be dragged down with them. 

One call, however, had changed it all. 

He’d barely recognised Sid on the phone, but his words still struck him like a knife. His mother was ill. The kind of ill you didn't recover from. Sid was willing to let him come back as long as he promised to clean his act and leave his more "undesirable proclivities" in the past. Normally Johnny would have sent the man to go fuck himself, but the word ‘cancer’ was still rattling in his head. He wouldn’t abandon his mother again. So he accepted and, like the prodigal son, he went back to Encino and to the arms of a mother who was barely strong enough to hold him.

Things moved fast from there. He went to rehab and met Shannon, someone who was as broken as he was and who didn’t flinch whenever his mask showed its cracks. She had deserved better than him, but, at the time, they had clung to each other like a lifeline, hoping that the other was strong enough to save them both. But they hadn’t been strong at all and the pregnancy had ended up destroying what little love had been left between them. 

When Laura died, Johnny’s heart broke once again and he went back to the only refuge he had known. The end of her mother’s life had almost put an end to his, but it didn’t. The moment his son had been placed in his arms had changed everything. Robby had saved his life. Shannon hadn’t been so lucky.

And Johnny remembered clearly the first time the boy had grasped his hand, his little hand looking tiny next to his. He remembered crying more than he had cried before, he cried for Shannon who would never know her son. For Laura who would have loved to be a grandmother. For the sacrifice, her mother had made just for him to throw his life away. For Robby and his bad luck of not being born to a better family. Even for Daniel who, years later, still haunted his memories.

Turning his life around had taken a lot, but he knew Robby was worth it. Many times, he was tempted to go to Sid and ask him for money or some help. But his mother’s death was still too fresh and his wound still too raw for him to take the humiliation. Without meaning to, Laura had taught him a lesson that he never managed to learn herself: money, and a mansion and a position were not worth having to live with the constant abuse of someone like his stepfather. 

So Johnny rented an apartment and struck on his own. Things got difficult then. For one thing, he wasn’t someone people were eager to hire. He worked odd jobs as a handyman here and there. He occasionally got some money playing pull. And when things got really tight, he wasn’t above doing other things for money, too. He wasn’t proud of that, but he needed to provide for Robby and it’s not like he hadn’t done it before. 

But that wasn't his only problem, he also knew very little about babies. In that sense, the Diaz family had been his salvation. They had moved to the building two months after he did, fleeing the violence of Carmen’s husband, who remained in Ecuador.  And Carmen and Rosa had had no qualms to take him under their wing. Rosa would look after Robby when he had to work and teach Johnny how to take care of him. And he would take Carmen to work and accompany her wherever she didn’t feel safe going alone. 

Working at a strip club was something he had never expected. He had met Lenny one morning when he was exercising. He had seen Johnny doing some katas in the park wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and struck a conversation with him. When he made an offer to come work for him, the blonde thought he was full of shit, but it turned out that it was a legitimate job offer and not just a way to get Johnny on his bed. Johnny knew next to nothing about stripping, other than he was meant to take his clothes, but the money was better than anything he could make on his own, so he was willing to learn. In that sense, karate had been a huge help. So when it came the time for him to create his stripping alter-ego, the decision had been obvious. And the jacket still had fitted like a glove.

Johnny would be lying if he said that, throughout this time, he had never thought of Daniel Larusso. Dating was hard with a baby. Even worse in his line of business. He’d tried a few times, but nothing had come of it, so eventually he just stopped trying, other than occasional one night stands. But his mind couldn’t help going back to Daniel. He imagined a thousand different little scenarios in which they would meet again. He didn’t even know if Daniel had come back to the Valley, but he imagined maybe they would bump into each other in a shop or the park. They’d get talking and maybe Johnny would ask him out for a coffee or a drink. 

However, in all his fantasies, Johnny was never a stripper. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of it, necessarily. But Daniel had seen him at his peak, he had been a king back then living the life of a rich Encino kid. And now? He lived in a shit apartment and he made ends meet by taking his clothes so people could stuff money in his jockstrap. He couldn’t imagine Daniel’s face if he ever found out.

And sadly, he didn’t have to. 

Seeing Daniel again, in the flesh, had shocked him more than he had let on. The man had been a construction of his imagination for so long that seeing him actually standing before him seemed unreal. Johnny felt like he had walked into a daydream where anything could be possible. That was the only explanation on why he had behaved the way he did, staying when he knew he should have left, and carrying something forward when the only possible outcome had been Daniel leaving. But there had been something in Daniel’s eyes that first night that called to Johnny. The eagerness with which he had followed him outside and sought after him the following day, and the obvious jealousy whenever Robby came up in conversation had given Johnny a strange hope that maybe he hadn’t been alone in his inability to put his old rival out of his mind.

And Johnny was even ashamed to recognise that, even though rationally he knew that Daniel was going to get married, there was a deep, hidden part of him that had also wished that maybe Daniel would end up not going through with the wedding. That the time they spent together had made him change his mind. And when he opened the door of his apartment to see him standing there, that stupid part of him roared in his chest. But just as soon as hope flared, it died down. Sure, Daniel was attracted to him and, under different circumstances, maybe things would have been different. But it was the money that made him come back, money that Johnny had forgotten all about. That and closure. Daniel wanted to move on with his life, put Johnny and everything else in the past and carry on with his new life.

The sound of the door opening pulled Johnny out of his thoughts and two excited toddlers threw themselves on Johnny at the screams of ‘dada!' and 'tío!”. Rosa, on the other hand, had only to look at his face to guess what had happened. 

“Ay, Johnny,” the woman said getting closer and caressing his cheek. “¿Por qué no vienes a comer con nosotros? Te haré los plátanos que tanto te gustan.”

He nodded and followed the woman out of the apartment, carrying the giggling boys in his arms. Daniel had decided to move on with his life, and maybe it was time he did the same. 

[madamewriterofwrongs]

911 Week Day 5: “It’s okay, you can cry.” + Comfort

Day 1 Fluff

Day 2 Fun

Day 3 Hurt

Day 4 Love

Eddie was ashamed to admit that he didn’t hear the front door open. For all his training, his time spent listening for his son’s cries, his daily need for alertness on the job: he didn’t hear the door open until it was too late.

“Eddie? You okay, sweetie?”

He startled out of his thoughts with a deep breath – when had he stopped breathing? – and a swipe at his eyes threatening to spill over with tears. “Carla, I didn’t realize it was time.”

She was at his side in an instant, taking a familiar seat across the table from him. “I’m a little early,” she assured him, reaching out a hand to cover his. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t, I was just…” he was thinking. He was lost in thought. He was being dragged down memory lane while his son slept in the other room. “It’s her birthday today.”

From the sympathetic look on his friend’s face, he knew he didn’t have to explain who ‘she’ was. It was the same ‘she’ that had haunted him for years. He hadn’t intended to see her ghost today, but sometime between opening his eyes and entering the kitchen to making breakfast, he’d realized what day it was. He hadn’t even pulled the eggs out of the fridge before he was falling into the chair, thoughts drifting away.

“It’s natural to miss her today.”

Eddie shook his head, still unable to meet her eyes. “I always miss her.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

No! His mind screamed. You have to stay strong.

It’s not weakness.

His own mind battled the validity of his emotions while his heart won out.

“I don’t know how to talk to Christopher about her. I want him to grow up knowing about his mother; how kind and beautiful she was. How much she loved him, even if she didn’t know what to do with that love. I want him to always know who his mother was. And that means one day he’s going to have to learn about all the horrible things we did to each other. How I ran away from them, how she spent eight years blaming herself; how I spent the first year after she left reintroducing myself to my son because I had no idea who he was. How ultimately, his mother could only love him from afar.” Eddie sniffled, blinking back tears. “We both failed him except she’ll never get a chance to make up for it. And the truth is, I don’t know if she ever would.”

Silence filled the kitchen for a long time. There were things he’d never prepared to confess but they’d all come tumbling out like they’d been on the tip of his tongue all morning. His body felt numb, exhausted from the mental rollercoaster of the day that had just begun. He had to be at work in a few hours, could he make it through unscathed?

The only thing that he could feel was the thumb, gently swiping over his skin where Carla’s hand was still covering his. Protecting it from the world.

“Being a parent is complicated and but also the easiest thing there is.” Her words slowly broke through the fog. “You do what you think is best for your children and you pray that at least some of it won’t screw them up. But you’re a human being, Eddie. None of us get out of this without regrets or mistakes. Yes, one day you may have to have some hard conversations with Christopher about what you and Shannon went through. But lord knows that child has been through enough.” His chuckle carried no humor. “You don’t have to force those conversations until you’re both ready.” What if he was never ready? Carla squeezed his hand to bring him back. “Miss her, talk about her, but focus on the good things you have here and now. Living in the past – all those ‘should’s and ‘could have been’s – don’t let them distract you from that beautiful boy who needs his father. It’ll all be okay.”

He hadn’t realized the tears had fallen until Carla reached out to wipe them away. “Besides, you’re too pretty to cry this early in the morning.”

Eddie let himself laugh at that and joined his friend in wiping his tears away. “Thanks, Carla. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She looked at him for a long moment, gentle contemplation and fondness in her eyes. “You’re a good man, Eddie Diaz. And you’re raising a good son.”

He believed her when she said that everything would be all right.

[kom-wanheda]

What a Catch

Evan Buckley Week

March 26th - Day 4: “You want to marry me?” + love

Maddie’s looking at him with a strange expression, almost secretive, almost… guilty? Chimney is standing off to the side, hands shoved so far into his pockets that he’s about to lose his elbows in there.

Buck straightens. “Maddie? What’s going on?”

“I found… something I probably wasn’t supposed to see,” Maddie winces out.

Read on ao3 or under the cut.

“Hey, Buck, can you give me and Chim a hand in here?”

Buck looks up from the poker game he’s playing with Bobby, Athena, Hen, and Eddie towards the kitchen doorway. Maddie and Chimney had mysteriously disappeared there almost thirty minutes ago.

“Uh, Mads, I’m kind of in the middle of something!” he yells, concentrating on his cards, eyeing up his opponents playfully. The center of the table is a mess of poker chips and actual chips from when Buck got a little too… enthusiastic. Buck makes a note to clean that up later.

“We all know you’re not going to win, so just save us all the theatrics and come here, will you?” Maddie calls back.

Everyone at the table laughs at Buck, who manages to look affronted for a few seconds before he deflates and throws his cards face-up on the table. It was a shitty hand, he has to admit. “Fine, maybe, but they didn’t know I was going to lose!”

Hen scoffs, knocking elbows with Athena, who is smirking over her cards at him. Hen looks back towards Buck when she says, “Buck, I’m sorry to say, but your strategy sucks.”

“Okay, rude, I hate you all,” Buck huffs out, standing from the table dramatically. That gets a good chuckle out of everyone, even Eddie, the traitor. Buck can’t help but grin, losing any believability he had for actually being upset.

As Buck passes Eddie, he reaches out and squeezes Buck’s hand, a silent acknowledgment. It’s just a quick squeeze of hi yes hello, but it sends a thrill up Buck’s spine, anyways. Buck’s smile turns a bit dopey.

He passes by where the kids are stationed around the sofa. Albert’s got every single one of them entranced in a story about South Korea, including May, whose attention has strayed from her phone for so long the screen’s gone black. Karen abandoned poker a long time ago, and she’s sitting next to Denny, stroking her hand across his back, baby Nia nestled securely in her lap.

Buck leans down to give Chris a quick kiss to his head, and while Chris doesn’t look away from Albert’s gesticulating hands, he does reach up and touch Buck’s cheek gently. Buck’s heart melts a little more, like it does every single time Chris does something so obliviously sweet.

As Buck gets to the kitchen, he grabs onto the door frame and swings into the room, eyeing up his sister. “My dearest Maddie, what is it you needed my help with that could not have possibly waited until I lost fair and square?”

Maddie’s looking at him with a strange expression, almost secretive, almost… guilty? Chimney is standing off to the side, hands shoved so far into his pockets that he’s about to lose his elbows in there.

Buck straightens. “Maddie? What’s going on?”

“I found… something I probably wasn’t supposed to see,” Maddie winces out.

“Found something? What do you mean?”

Maddie’s words start coming out in a rush. “We were just cleaning up after dinner, and your bag was sitting on the counter, so I went to move it and then it fell off the table and some stuff rolled out.” Maddie wrings her hands together before gesturing to the island in front of her. Where a small, dark purple jewelry box is sitting.

A very familiar jewelry box.

Buck springs forward, snatching it up. “Maddie,” Buck hisses, “you went through my stuff?”

“I didn’t mean to! It just fell out with all your dirty clothes when I picked your bag up!”

“The box was in a sealed pocket, Maddie, there’s no way it could have just ‘fallen out’! You were snooping!”

“I was not! I’m not twelve,” Maddie says indignantly, “Also, how was I supposed to know that you were hiding an engagement ring in your work bag?”

“Shh!” Buck says, frantically waving his hands at her. “Keep your voice down!”

Maddie covers her mouth, perhaps just now realizing that the hopeful recipient of said ring is just in the other room.

Buck glances down at the box in his hands, runs his fingers over the familiar velvety soft exterior before clicking it open, just to check. He must have done that a thousand times already since he picked it up that morning on his way in to work. Both rings are still nestled there safely. He catches the pair watching him, and he snaps it closed, hiding the box behind his back, as if Maddie and Chimney — who has remained questionably silent this entire time — have no object permanence, and once hidden, the knowledge of the box’s existence would be gone as well.

Maddie switches gears, eyes going all soft. “Buck, how long have you been carrying that around with you?”

“I just picked it up today, that’s the only reason why it was in my bag to begin with. I bought it a few weeks ago,” Buck mumbles.

Finally, Chimney seems to get his voice back. “I know you guys have been dating for a while, but you really think it’s time?”

“Remind me, Chim, how many months was it again before you asked my sister to marry you?” Buck retorts, raising an eyebrow.

Chimney laughs, right hand ghosting over to touch the metal band around his ring finger. Buck isn’t actually upset, of course he can’t be, not when Maddie and Chimney are so obviously perfect for one another.

Maddie wraps her arm around her husband, smiling softly down at the ring on her own finger. It makes Buck happy to see his sister and friend happy, but he can’t deny how desperately he wants a taste of that, too.

“It’s only been about a year since we started dating, but I know it’s what I want. I’m pretty sure it’s what Eddie wants, too. But god, Maddie, I’m so nervous. The last thing I want to do is move too quickly, especially since all of this is totally new territory for me. I’ve never been married before, but Eddie has, you know? I don’t want him to feel like I’m trying to replace Shannon, especially when it comes to Chris.” Buck says more than he planned to, but now that both of them know, he needed to talk to someone. It’s not like he could confide in his best friend for advice, since it’s his best friend he’s going to pop the question to.

“Well, I don’t have much advice for you there,” Chimney says, “We were just doing the dishes one night after dinner and it just kind of… popped out.”

“Yeah, I know.” Buck rolls his eyes. “The least romantic engagement story I’ve ever heard.”

“Hey!” Maddie laughs, gazing up at Chimney with obvious love in her eyes. “It worked on me, didn’t it?”

Buck shakes his head, turning his attention back to the box cradled in his hands. “I just love them both so much, you know? I love our life together. I just want to make sure all three of us are ready, and when the time is right, hopefully I’ll know what to say.”

It’s then, when all three of the kitchen’s occupants are either distracted by each other or distracted by what ifs, when Buck hears a choked sound coming from behind him.

All three of them turn quickly, and Eddie is right there, a collection of empty beer bottles in his hands. “I, uh, was just coming in here to recycle these,” Eddie explains haltingly. He thrusts the bottles forward, as if to prove his story. “I swear I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop.”

Buck is a little dumbfounded. As soon as he turned around, he had shoved the ring box into his front pocket, and it’s a tight fit and so obvious he almost wants to cover it up with his hands. As if that would help.

“Why don’t we grab those bottles from you and take the other trash outside, huh, Maddie?” Chimney says quickly, moving forward and collecting the bottles from Eddie’s lax hands.

“Sure, sounds like a two person job, definitely,” Maddie rambles a bit. She pats Buck on the head as she scurries out the kitchen door with Chimney, and despite her having to stretch to even reach his head, it still feels a bit condescending. But mostly comforting.

Good luck, Buck.

He’s left face to face with his boyfriend. Maybe more, his brain unhelpfully supplies.

“Hey, babe,” Buck stutters, a nervous smile on his lips, “How much of that did you hear?”

Eddie takes a step closer, and it’s so easy for Buck to fall into Eddie’s orbit, to lean into his embrace. “Enough, I think. You want to marry me?” Eddie murmurs softly, eyes not traveling any higher than Buck’s neck. They’re so close now that they could bump noses if one of them tilts their head right, so Buck does, trying to get Eddie to look at him. Ah. There they are, those warm brown eyes Buck loves so much. Eddie still looks hesitant, uncertain, and that hurts Buck a little.

“Eddie, of course I do. You are my most favorite part of every day. Chris, too,” Buck adds, leaning down to maintain eye-contact as Eddie tries to duck away. “I know we haven’t talked about it in so many words, but… in theory,” Buck stresses, and Eddie laughs a little, “would you want to do… that, one day?” Fuck, he needs to practice saying those words if he’s stumbling this hard right now and it’s not even real.

Eddie can’t fight the hesitant smile spreading across his face. “Yeah, I do,” he whispers, and hearing that combination of words jumpstarts Buck’s heart.

“Good, because that’s going to happen one day. Not tonight, I haven’t even gotten the rings engraved yet,” Buck complains, “but someday. We’re going to get married, I’m going to move in, and then we get to plan the rest of our lives together.” It all sounds like a dream, a dream Buck never would have known he wanted just a few years ago, but god, he does want it, and he wants it with this man standing in front of him. Buck can’t help it: he leans in and presses his mouth to Eddie’s, gently biting on his lower lip before pulling a hair's breadth away to speak. “How’s that sound?”

Eddie’s never been good with verbally expressing himself, and Buck knows he’s been trying. He can see the thoughts as they race across his face, can almost read the words desperately trying to get out, but they never quite make it to his mouth. That’s okay, Buck doesn’t mind. As soon as Buck gets those rings on both their fingers, they’ll have the rest of their lives to work on it. Together.

“Sounds like something I could get used to,” Eddie finally settles on, pulling Buck’s face back to his, stealing another kiss. Buck presses closer, feels the jewelry box cut into his hip as Eddie pushes into him. Buck opens his mouth to bite Eddie’s lip again, but that’s when Eddie pulls away.

Buck makes a face and Eddie laughs at him, his hands ghosting up from where he was cradling Buck’s neck to his cheek, thumb brushing gently along the end of Buck’s eyebrow.

“I don’t really want to get too out of hand at your sister’s house. Especially not with all of our friends in the other room,” Eddie explains.

Oh, Buck gets it, but he still pouts a little.

“Come on, cariño, I want to watch you lose at poker again,” Eddie gently jabs, smile never leaving his face.

Buck allows himself to be pulled back into the living area, and it appears the rest of the world kept on spinning as Buck’s spun into a new orbit. Buck and Eddie are quickly welcomed back into the casual joviality of the group. Buck catches Maddie peering around the corner spying on them, and he sticks his tongue out at her. You know, like an adult. She smiles gleefully back.

“Can’t we just play go fish or something?” Buck whines, tugging on Eddie’s hand.

“Why, you wanna lose at a child’s game, too?”

Laughter erupts as everyone apparently catches that. Buck can’t even pretend to be mad, the presence of that box in his pocket making him feel damn near weightless.

[factoffictionwriter]

Tiva Fic Amnesty #7

A couple of pregnancy scenes. Just a peek into how our favorite couple might handle some of the stresses that come with bringing a new life into the world. 

Note: A well-meaning Aunt gave Ziva and Tali identical Baby Books at their Bat Mitzvahs (I think we all know an Aunt like this). 

Tony knew it was going to be a rough night when he opened the door to their apartment and found his very pregnant, very round girlfriend sitting in the middle of the living room floor hunched over the laptop. There were no lights on in the entire place, only the bright screen to illuminate her face. 

He took a deep breath before closing the door behind him, “Ziva?” 

Her head snapped in his direction, “We need a name, Tony. Our baby doesn’t have a name.” 

He sighed, “We talked about this, Ziva. We said we weren’t gonna name her until we met her.” 

“But we need to have some ideas. We can’t just expect to look at her and come up with a name out of nowhere. We have to have a list or something.” 

Here they go again. Another night like this. He glanced around their spotless apartment. He could tell she had spent most of her day cleaning, though the place had been practically immaculate when he left her this morning. Nesting, Dr. Brown had called it. Her irresistible urge to clean and prepare for the baby. Most days cleaning the apartment and reorganizing the piles of baby clothes in the nursery was enough to satiate them (first the clothes were organized by color, then by size, then by use, then back to color), but other days she paced around miserably as she tried to pinpoint what exactly it was she needed to be doing to prepare, though there was absolutely nothing left for her to do. 

At least she had already found something to fixate on tonight. But, of course, it had to be the one thing they had agreed not to spend too much time preparing. Tony had this irrational fear of naming their child. It was stupid, he knew it, but he was terrified that they would pick the wrong one and the kid would grow to resent him (like he almost had with his father. Nobody should have to be a Jr. Nobody.). 

Ziva had claimed to understand this, and they had decided that they would pick the name for their daughter in an organic way. Whatever they thought when they looked at her, that would be her name. Second trimester Ziva had been completely fine with leaving that detail to the last minute.

But clearly, 3 weeks from her due date and nesting out of her freaking mind Ziva wasn’t so cool with that plan. 

“What do you think of the name Leah?” 

He scrunched his nose, “Didn’t you tell me that Leah meant sick or weakly in Hebrew?” 

“It does.” 

“Let’s not tempt the fates. Leah is a no.”

“What about Sarah? It means ruler or princess.” 

He considered it as he moved to the wall and turned on the overhead lights, “Sarah could work. I like Sarah.” 

“I do too,” she whispered as she seemed to add that name to a list she had going on the computer.

“What did you say your mother’s name means again?” 

“Rivka? It means ‘a woman who takes a man’s heart’. But I could not name our child that. It is much too ethnic for a child growing up in america.” 

“But there is an english version of it, right?” 

She nodded, “Rebecca.” 

“I like Rebecca.” 

She scrunched up her face, “I am not sure I do.”

“Okay, no Rebecca.” 

She ran a flustered hand through her messy curls, “I have accumulated a decent list. We can go through them together in a minute. Can you go grab the baby book from the nursery? I think there is a page in there to document the names we are considering for her before she is born.”

He nodded and tossed his stuff into the corner, making his way down the hall and grabbing the book off the crowded dresser. He flipped through some of the pages was he walked back to the living room. She had really done a great job with this thing. There were pictures inserted on almost every page. Some of her, some of ultrasounds, others of the two of them together, posing in front of their apartment building and other significant places for their child. 

He flipped one final page as he cleared the hallway, stopping in his tracks as he looked down at the finely printed name on the paper. 

“Uh, babe?” 

“What?” 

“This page is already filled out.” 

“What page?” 

“The one for the baby’s name. Like her real name. Her official name.” 

“What are you talking about?”

He held the book in front of him for her to see as he crossed the room and sat on the floor beside her.

She took the book from his hand slowly, her eyes moving across the page several times before she processed what she was seeing. 

In black ink, typed in a font that was meant to look like the writing of a small child it simply said: 

My name is:

And beside it was a thin line where you were supposed to be able to write in your baby’s name. But there was already a name there, in careful script, lined all the way up to the left side of the space so that there was plenty of room behind it to write a last name. 

Tali

“Oh,” Ziva whispered as she ran her finger over the delicate letters.

“Do you know what happened?” 

She nodded, “This must have been the book my aunt gave to my sister. I remember sitting in our bedroom one day, less than a year before the attack. We were making fun of the way that Americans like to name their children after themselves.” 

He held a hand up to his chest and pretended to act wounded, “Ouch.” 

“I actually like your name, Tony. But some people can take the whole family name thing seriously. You end up with Charles White III or Malcom Brimington the VIII.” 

“Stanley Yelnats IIV.” 

She laughed, “If you want your movie references to keep going over my head, you are going to have to stop showing me so many of them. That is from Holes.” 

He smiled down at her, “I knew there was a reason I loved you.” 

“Anyway, Tali had insisted she was going to name her child after herself, whether it was a boy or girl. I told her she wouldn’t dare. It is common in the Jewish community to name your child after a loved one or a family member, but hardly ever after one of the parents. She dug out her book and pulled out a pen. She wrote her name in it, telling me that it was already done. Her child, boy or girl, was destined to be named Tali.” 

He sat up a little straighter, a whole bunch of different things coming together to click in his mind. 

“Tali DiNozzo,” He whispered so quietly he wasn’t even sure she would hear him. 

But she did. And she lifted her head up, her eyes finding his slowly, “What?” 

He cleared his throat, unexpected emotions making it feel tighter as he tried to say the name again, the name he knew would be their daughter’s, “Tali DiNozzo.” 

The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to blink away a whole new wave of tears, “Did we just…” 

“Name our daughter? I think we did.” 

She swallowed as she tried to gather up the strength to try it out herself, “Tali DiNozzo.” 

He smiled at the way it rolled off her tongue, so much more graceful than his. He knew he had been so against picking a name before the baby came, but even he couldn’t ignore what had just happened. They hadn’t picked the name. The name had picked them. And no name had ever felt as right coming off his lips as that one did. Accept maybe Ziva’s. He would consider them a tie. 

Ziva set the book down and turned the laptop screen up so she could see it better. She squinted at it for a couple of seconds before turning her eyes back to his. 

“Tali Elizabeth DiNozzo.” 

He clenched his jaw to keep back the next set of emotions.

“My mom.” 

Ziva nodded, “That was at the top of my list. Your mother had a beautiful name.” 

“Yeah.” 

They both took deep breaths simultaneously as they let the name sit between them. 

Ziva finally looked down, pulling the fabric of her shirt up so she could put her hand directly on her swollen stomach, “What do you think, Yakiri? Do you like your name?” 

Tony leaned forward and put his hand next to hers, bending down so he could whisper against her warm skin, “Tali Elizabeth DiNozzo. What do you think?”

They waited in tense silence, both staring at the bump, anticipating a response. 

They weren’t disappointed. 

A tiny limb, be it a hand or a foot, moved just beneath his palm, then again under hers. 

“I think she likes it,” Ziva whispered.

“I think so, too.” 

“We have a name.” 

“And she’s not even here yet.” 

She winked at him before leaning back and trying to lift herself off of the floor. He watched as she leaned left and right, trying to get her balance right so she could stand up. 

She failed. And soon fell back on her ass.

“Tony…” she whined as she looked over at him, the pathetic puppy dog eyes he always knew she had inside of her but never thought she would dare pull out were on full display. 

He sighed and lifted himself off the ground before offering both his hands to her and grunting sadly as he pulled her to an upright position. 

“Do you feel better now? We have a name… we have a nursery… we have the car ready for the transport home from the hospital. We are ready for this baby, Ziva.” 

She nodded, “I know we are. I just… I don’t know. I have a feeling that she’s gonna be here before we know it. I want everything to be…”

“Perfect.” 

She sighed, “When you put it like that, I sound crazy.”

“Not crazy. You sound like a Mom. It was bound to happen eventually.”

---

Convincing Ziva to ride home with him instead of with Gibbs was a challenge. She was still worried about the man she considered her father now that he no longer had his. She remembered how hard it was to lose Eli. She remembered how much it hurt to be the last one left. Gibbs was the last of his family. She knew that had to be weighing on him.

She practically saw the ghosts of Shannon and Kelly standing next to him during the funeral. She could feel him feeling their loss. Being the last one alive had a way of bringing back all those past deaths. All that past pain. She understood. And she wasn’t sure she should leave him to drive all the way back to DC alone.

But it was a damn good thing she did. Because when they stopped at a gas station just 45 minutes away from home so she could waddle her way into the bathroom for the 500th time that day (pregnant women can see like it’s nobody’s business. Tony had not understood that until this minute), she was barely gone 5 minutes before his phone started buzzing in his pocket. Her face was on his screen. He answered it hesitantly.

“Everything okay in there?”

“Don’t freak out,” she said, her voice so calm that he almost couldn’t believe he had heard her correctly.

“Why don’t you tell me what I’m not freaking out over before I make any promises.”

“Did you remember to put the go-bag in the car before you left home?”

“Go bag? You mean the hospital bag?”

“Yeah, whatever. Did you remember to put it in the car?”

His eyes widened as he tried to cran his neck to see into the trunk of the car, “I’m not sure. Why?”

“Because we’re gonna need it.”

He froze as he tried to get his lips to move and get out the words he was thinking, “You’re not-”

“I am, Tony. My water broke. I’m going into labor.”

He started fumbling with his seat belt, finding it suddenly impossible to unbuckle, “You can’t be. You’re what…. Two weeks early?”

“Oh, right. My bad. Let me just tell the baby. I’m sure she won’t mind waiting.”

“Sarcasm isn’t helping, Ziva,” he finally managed to undo his seatbelt, now he was fumbling with opening the door.

She sighed, “Right. Sorry. Just… get in here. I need you to help me stand up.”

He tried not to laugh at his own mental picture, her sitting on the toilet, her pants around her ankles and her stomach bulging. She was stuck. And laughing was not what he needed to be doing right now.

He opened the door too aggressively, drawing the attention of a few onlookers. He ignored them.

“I’m coming, Zi. Be there in a sec.”

He ran across the parking lot, ducking into the store and almost knocking over a display of cornchips in his dash for the bathroom.

He had it all planned out. He was gonna help her get cleaned up, lead her through the gas station as quickly as possible, and gun it all the way to the hospital. He cursed himself for driving the Hyundai instead of his Porsche. Though it would be much better to drive home from the hospital with the extra room. And he was pretty sure he could still hit 120 in this thing on a good stretch of road. Sometimes having a badge pays off.

He had really thought through it all… except for the possibility of other women being in the bathroom. He burst through the door and was met with four wide eyes as two women turned to face him. One reached into her purse and he had to hold up his hands out of fear of being pepper sprayed.

“No funny business. I swear. My girlfriend just went into labor and I-”

“Tony!” Ziva yelled from inside the farthest stall, “A little help here!”

[madrabbitsociety]

Leah by Rachael Sage

She is young and she has been labeled ‘trouble’ by everyone who has ever seen her, which she adopts as her aesthetic. She doesn’t really know where it started going wrong, except maybe it was around the time Shannon shoved her down at the bus stop and tore her perfect jeans and she decided that she preferred them ripped anyway. Or, perhaps it was in the sixth grade when she decided that she would give anything in the world to look like Ginger Spice when she grew up. 

She leans into being troubled, even though she’s never done anything to actually make any trouble. She’s a bit mouthy, maybe. She lives for the drama, and she was born to be on a stage, any stage. But she is an artist and she has an aesthetic to maintain. She has boyfriends with fast cars and she paints little boy’s white tee shirts with band slogans and makes bell-bottom jeans out of thrift store denim. 

She falls in crunch with a girl. 

The girl has pink hair, nearly shaved to her head, and violet eyes. (Just because they’re contacts doesn’t make it any less Francesca Lia Block.) Her eyes are thick and heavily lined and she wears ripped fishnets as shirts. Pinkie laughs and screams ‘hello’ down the hall to Red, followed by cackling giggles that bubble out and pop several eardrums nearby. They are never anything less than friendly with each other but one day, during a sleepover which memory would coat in cotton candy and fairy dreams, Pinkie is asked to describe Red in one word. 

That violet gaze meets blue eyes and all the laughter fades away as one word springs forth with no hesitation. “Intense.” 

Pinkie will never elaborate what she meant by that, and by the next year Red was gone to college where another person would label her that old familiar word. “Trouble. I looked at you, sitting in the desk at the very front row, and I knew you were going to be trouble.” 

Her boyfriend at the time is understanding. She is honest with him- she doesn’t know if she loves him. He is honest with her- he’s going to marry her. But in the mean time, he carts her around to every thrift store she wants to see. She grows her hair as long as she can, to prove she’s a girl, even though she really wants to shave it off into a punk rock style. She dyes it red because her mother won’t let her color it blue. For other people, the early 00′s are filled with emo and bubble-gum pop, but for her it is texturized with the feel of old, worn denim and riot grrl CDs bought second hand at Goodwill. It is on one of these searches for something new, anything inspiring, that she finds the album Ballads and Burlesque. 

It’s candy coated and the dress is something she would kill to wear, and her drama teacher has been explaining burlesque and vaudeville to her. She buys it for a dollar, not knowing what it sounds like, and when she gets home she hears the track that changes her taste in music forever.

She says that she loves her, just like a sister, Leah leans over the table to kiss her... 

It was everything she felt about Pinkie (and sometimes the Swamp Witch, who really deserves her own story) all wrapped up in a bow. The things that she wanted were indeed the things that made her choke. Her heart raced and she turned down the volume knob on the bubbly blue CD player next to her bed, just so her mother wouldn’t hear. 

Years later, after more fake engagements and another crash landing back in the land of the Straight, she would turn on the song and feel the ghost of small hands on her hip-hugger jeans, the taste of strawberry lip balm and stolen kisses in the costume room of the drama club. 

If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Book Store Angels, Pandemic Theater or Hey Loser. If you do not, I am using the tag 'mad rabbit society personal stuff’ so you can block that out however you like.  

[shineonmalcolmbright]

Shine On, Bright: Twenty-Three

Table of Contents

Present

Malcolm keeps an unsteady beat going on the dashboard while looking at a building right outside Gil’s car. It’s hard for Gil to pay any mind to the building because while the radio is on low, Malcolm isn’t keeping any sort of relevant beat. Doesn’t seem like he notices until he looks over at Gil and mouths What?

Gil scowls. You know what.

But if he let’s the beat stop, it’ll continue to quake inside him without a chance of escape. For Gil’s sake, he stops his fidgeting on the dashboard and almost considers sitting on his hands. “Sorry.”

“I don’t like this, Bright.”

To make the situation worse, Malcolm lowers the window a bit looking out even though he sinks into his seat a bit. He says nothing as he curls into himself and starts to put the window up. Anything to get the anxiety out, movement helps. It doesn’t actually help, but it’s nice to pretend it helps. All that pent of energy building up.

“Owen Shannon was a bad cop.” Gil sighs, keeping an eye on him. “I don’t need to remind you of that.”

Malcolm stares at the pavement, the window is open halfway. He can’t look up at the door. So much energy thrumming inside of him almost as if little insects are crawling all over his insides. As if wasps with their brassy legs are walking all around him and at any moment ready to sting him, hurt him, wound him.

“Shannon was the last partner Ian Turner had before he was promoted to chief,” Malcolm admits for the conversation, and it’s a truth, a truth he needs to get back out there in the open between him and Gil. He turns his attention to Gil, stares right at him. It’s a lead. With way too much force, Malcolm opens the door.

Gil sighs watching him leave for the door. He pulls his keys from the ignition because what else is he going to do? Let Malcolm run straight into some more nonsense? No. The kid does that enough. At least he can offer him some company in this chaos.

It’s as if Malcolm’s hidden the fact he’s super fast all along. One second he’s on the curb and the next he’s up some rickety stairs about to bang on the door forcing Gil to power walk the rest of the way to join him.

Before Gil can say anything to Malcolm, Malcolm’s knocking on the door. Real loud, too. There’s an urgency ricocheting off his built of anxiety. The whole time Gil observes him, partially turned to the side as if he’s not too invested in the moment.

You sure you’re ok seeing him? Gil ends up asking knowing the answer is going to be no.

It was a long time ago, Malcolm lies.

The lie isn’t the long time ago but the false yes the response provides.

I’m not scared anymore. Another clear lie even though Malcolm makes eye contact like it’d make the lie any less false. “And he probably won’t recognize me.” This he says out loud because it’ll sure look odd the longer the two stand there conversing just between themselves.

Poor timing because the metal door he’d been banging on crashes open. Owen Shannon practically bursts out, all guns blazing. He has a handgun aimed right at Malcolm’s head as if he should eat his lies. Nobody’s believing in them.

The pent up energy of anxiety melts away, drains straight through his feet as flight, fight, or freeze kicks into motion. He stands there staring right back up at Owen Shannon, they’ve met before and here they are meeting again. The past has a bad habit of haunting him and for somebody who sees ghosts, the past somehow winds up being scarier and more dangerous.

Malcolm can’t find words as he gawks at Owen Shannon who rapidly looks between him and Gil. At least, Gil’s reaching for his weapon leaving Macolm still stuck there on freeze. Owen Shannon grimaces, he manages to spit out a “Well, look who it is.” Trigger finger still all tied up with his weapon.

Breathe, Bright, Breathe.

Malcolm’s not breathing though. The ability to inhale and exhale left him along with all the anxiety, his system is all locked up.

“Gil Arroyo,” Owen Shannon continues. “What you want, Lucky Boy?”

Malcolm manages to breathe in coming close to counting the seconds. You’re supposed to count up to five, hold your breath then for seven seconds then release it for another five. It’s not about him. Not about him at all.

It’s not always about you, Bright. “Don’t call me that.”

“I heard you’re in major crimes, congratulations.”

Anxiety’s back with a vengeance. Coursing through Malcolm’s veins, his heart might have palpitations. It’s never easy to tell when panic picks up. “Is that how you greet all your guests?” he retorts, his voice sounding so even as if there’s nothing wrong in the world. As if there’s no bad blood between him and Owen Shannon.

Owen Shannon smirks. He leans into the door frame. “There’s someone out there killing cops and I’m sure as hell not gonna be the next one.” His voice sounds all rough, the exhaustion of the world weighing in on each word.

Gil’s been stock still the whole time. “How’d you know Turner’s dead?”

“My partner dies, I’m gonna hear about it. Now show some respect, Lucky Boy.”

Right when it appears this conversation isn’t going anywhere, it does. It goes inside. Inside with Owen and Gil following him right away. Freeze continues to win as Malcolm watches them enter. Once he shrugs past the doorway, there won’t be a lot of room for an escape, if need be. Gil pauses in the doorway, he gives Malcolm a look without any input. Instead, there’s only white noise churning in his mind. Whatever he’s thinking, he’s not about to let Malcolm in on it, which means, Malcolm’s stuck on the first step with Gil disappearing by the second.

Inhale. One. Two. Malcolm holding his breath. Three. It’s up to him to let the door close behind him. Four. The clash of metal forces oxygen to escape. He never made it to five.

There aren’t any lights on and not even a whole lot of natural light. Shudders block the sun out, Owen walks them towards his living room area grumbling away in his head. I worked The Surgeon case for years. And one phone call from some dumb kid and-and Lucky Boy. . .

Jokes on him, Owen crosses his clutter to land on a seat not realizing how much the two can actually hear. His words echo in Gil’s mind as Malcolm stays quiet and behind a few steps. Any wrong move and he could trip over the mess on Owen’s floor then fall face-first into the past at the Overlook. Somehow they were all there and now they were all here.

The past is cyclical.

Maybe Owen doesn’t even care because he speaks his thoughts, word for word, out loud. Shaking his head on his seat. “. . .gets the biggest collar of the century.”

At least Gil can have a valid comeback. “Still can’t let that go, can you?”

“There was more to that story,” Owen snaps back. “I knew it. Nobody. . .nobody listened to me.”

There’s the one poem by Robert Frost where he illustrates the world ending in either fire and ice. Anybody with anxiety knows how the two can work with one another. How fire and unfurl inside of you only to be consumed by ice. Freezing up the flames, slowly dripping through your veins as if the warning is unclear to what danger is at hand.

Malcolm watches Owen sit there unable to come any closer. There’s a disconnect between his brain and his feet. He does what he can to study Owen, how Owen talks, how Owen moves, how Owen keeps repeating his words out loud and in his head Nobody. . .nobody listened to me, and how he moves his handgun making sure it points at them even though his fingers aren’t anywhere on it. He cracks open a beer, it’s impossible to say if it’s a cold one or a warm one. A crown of cans decorates Owen’s feet.

“Good to see some things never change,” Gil says, “but we’re here about your old partner. After The Surgeon case. . .”

It’s a jolt to the senses, Malcolm grits his teeth not meaning to shoot Gil a look, but it happens so fast.

Gil fails to notice, he’s too busy. “. . .You got reassigned to Turner.”

Behind Gil there’s plaques on the wall commemorating Owen’s previous life. His past haunts him as well, his whole house is haunted with it in fact. Each plaque announces: NYPD Award for Outstanding Marksmanship.

Owen’s at least cooperating as he talks with Gil, “And I hope he rots in hell.” Beer in hand, he uses it and his finger to jab at the empty space in front of Gil. “He ruined me.”

Again, the weight of the world on each of his words. Malcolm turns his attention back to the conversation at hand. He’s not too sure if he meant to say the following in his head or out loud, either way doesn’t matter the intent because he says it all out loud. “Looks like you did all that yourself.”

Bright.

“You’re a drunk, Shannon.” There’s an anger buried somewhere in Malcolm’s words.

Owen doesn’t seem to notice, he casually scoffs at the comment. “Really? Well, everybody needs a hobby.”

Malcolm’s stepping forward. The anger burns inside him along with the frozen anxiety. Off to the side, Gil’s still attempting a silent warning of Bright, but it’s so easy to sweep past it. “Turner made the right call. You were a bad cop, and he knew it. . .” It’s not gonna stop. All the words are spilling over and the anger isn’t buried so much anymore but right in the open. “So he tipped off Internal Affairs and had you fired.”

This time, Gil warns him out loud, “Bright. . .”

“You have a long-held grudge against our victim. You're erratic and angry and six beers in at 11:00 AM.”

Owen rolls his eyes. “Bah, humbug.”

Bright. . .

“You’re also in possession of a likely unregistered handgun that you jammed in our faces when we so much as knocked on your door.” It’s no longer fight, flight or freeze but instead just fight. Fight with words, fight with whatever you’ve got. Fight. Malcolm doesn’t stop moving across the floor. “You’re our prime suspect!”

That does it.

Bright!

Owen slams the beer down and leaps from his seat, it’s as close as to a lunge as he can manage. His quickness dulled by alcohol. It’s too late to hold Malcolm back but Gil comes between them putting his hands up to stop Owen from barreling straight into Malcolm.

Personal space is gone. Even with Gil between the two, Owen snaps in Malcolm’s face. His anger is a different sort. One full of spit and something else lurking underneath all his words. “If I wanted Turner dead, I would have killed him years ago.” There’s no way to get a good read on him. His anger’s also a lot of confuddled colors at once. Emotions wrestling with one another creating a lot of nothing but anger, anger, anger.

Owen’s voice tastes of stale beer, a scent almost bringing Malcolm straight back into the bar area of the Overlook. Malcolm leans back a bit, he needs to abort, peel himself away. His hand quakes as energy returns and he looks at his feet in an attempt to stay present. Owen watches his movement, how his hand shakes with all Malcolm’s pent of energy. Malcolm tries to squeeze it all into the palm of his hands, his knuckles cracking as he forms a fist settling in anger. He looks up to find Owen observing him.

Bright. . .

This house, it’s a haunted house, haunted by a past Owen can’t let go. “You did it last night!” Malcolm continues. “You killed Ian Turner for getting you fired! And you hated him so much that you murdered an innocent woman, too!”

Bright! Gil’s reconsidering holding Malcolm back. Maybe he can hold the two back from each other.

Yet something about Owen deflates. “What woman?” He focuses on Gil expecting an answer there. Some of his thoughts clear up, not much. They almost taste sour of jealousy and confusion. There aren’t words or images.

“Turner was found with a sex worker,” Gil explains.

The colors continue as Owen surveys the two again and again. His thoughts are nothing but a scratching record. “A hooker? What? A-A female hooker?”

The letters can’t connect in his mind. They’re jumbled up in all of the confusion. Only the record needle comes down, it starts to play again, his thoughts return to normal. Some laughter in the back of his mind. Owen’s hands collapse on both Gil’s and Malcolm’s shoulder, holding them there.

A memory blunders its way up to the forefront, it’s a mess, such a mess. Malcolm almost squeezes his eyes shut. Each thought’s a stabbing pain in his brain as some old tune plays as the past meets a narrative for Owen.

But you will come to a place where the only thing you feel are loaded guns in your face and you’ll have to deal with (Pressure). “Chief Ian Turner. . .was gay.” You used to call me paranoid (Pressure). But even you cannot avoid (Pressure). You turned the tap dance into your crusade. His words leave Malcolm and Gil stuck next to each other, staring at one another without further comment. Now here you are with your faith and your Peter Pan advice, you have no scars on your face and you cannot handle pressure. Somehow Owen’s chuckling about this and neither Malcolm nor Gil can work through it but it’s getting loud, it’s getting too loud inside. Too loud with Owen’s growing thoughts of him, a Billy Joel song, and (All grown up and no place to go, Psych 1, Psych 2. What do you know?) and Turner, together, but for a split second in time.

“I think you two should leave now,” Owen comments with Gil taking the lead for the exit.

Malcolm is stuck still studying Owen who falls back onto his seat with a grunt. Gil goes back, he grabs Malcolm by the shoulder bringing him back. Come on, Bright. His hand quakes again, he’s watching Owen as Gil leads him out, and not once does Owen look away from the two of them in their exit.