#she ends up hiding it inside her luggage and texts her where it is once she lands

[snackugaki]

tmnt au hanfu edition

[littlemisslipbalm]

I live in the neighbourhood  Part 2

Part 2 is hereeeeee YAY! There will be a part 3 eventually :) I hope you enjoy and as well lmk you loved it with reblogs and messages, they truly make my day and y’know do it for other writers too, trust me we all love it. this fucking gif still gets me,,, but anyway there is so much i want to talk about in this part its killing me so plssss message me about it aghghghggh idk what else to say 

um this part is filled with: yn not knowing cars, harry being a dork, almost kisses and kisses  , but daddy i love him, the crown, gardening, and so much more mwah

Read Part 1

Word Count: 10.8k | Warnings: minor anxiety attack, swearing?, drinking, think that’s it (some more taylor swift)

-

“You want me to what?!” She feels herself all but scream.

He sighs in exasperation and ruffles his freshly cut curls. He can’t help the smile that grows shortly after his sigh. Y/N’s reaction on the other end of the line has sent him into a fit of giggles that he has to suppress quickly when she sends a warning ‘Harry’.

“It’s simple, love,” He twists to lay on his stomach. “I left you the spare to my place. Just go in, find my car keys and then drive to the airport and snap me up!”

She sighs now over the phone as she contemplates whether she could truly go into Harry’s home and then drive his surely expensive car to the airport and get him. It was something a friend would do for another friend, especially one who was a neighbour and especially a neighbour who had nothing better to do on a Friday night.

“Alright,” she says finally, “I’ll be there on Friday, text me the flight number.”

She grins when she hears a little “woo” from Harry. Even if he’s smiling half a world away it still made her happy to know it was because of her.

They had mostly texted each other randomly over the past three weeks while Harry had been away in California. She told him about her job, which he insisted was endlessly interesting and she countered that he found it interesting because it was new to him and eventually the grandeur would wear off. She loved her job, of course, it was for a public relations company that dealt with various London based companies and she was on multiple accounts with various clients ranging from tech companies to music artists. But she didn’t think it was as interesting as Harry made it out to be.

Harry told her about the filming of the movie and about everyone on set. He told her how he bought everyone on the crew his new ‘Treat People With Kindness’ sweatshirts and joked how he’d have to get her one as well to match her other one. She noted that one of Harry’s love languages was very obviously gift giving. He was so generous and she really admired that from him considering how successful he was. Her father was an accountant so she knew how rich people could be about their money sometimes, hiding it away in different entities just so their money can make money instead of spending it on things that matter.

He said everyone was nice and amazing overall, he gushed about people’s performances, but he’d always end with how much he missed London. He liked LA, he would assure her, but then he’d say how it wasn’t home-y at all. London was home to him. She would smile whenever he said that because she felt that way too, even though she wasn’t originally from the city, it just felt like home to her.

One night, he even confided in her his loneliness while on set. He wondered that maybe it was because he had no real roots in LA, nothing to go home to - no home to go to. She tried to reassure him that he wasn’t alone and all he had to do was ask and any person from the movie would love to spend time with him. He nodded along to her words, but they both knew he was being overly kind when he said everyone was nice. Not everyone in Hollywood was nice and certainly not everyone in Hollywood had substance. He searched for a month and seldom found time where he was truly relaxed with others and enjoying himself. More than ever he was excited to return home to London to say the least.

-

“Harry!”

She jumped out of her seat and into his arms, her cheek brushing his as she leaned in. He stood just on the sidewalk by his car that she had gingerly driven into the city and to the airport at 9pm on a Friday night in November.

The car was a dark blue vintage convertible, Mercedes-Benz, she was pretty sure but she really was completely clueless when it came to cars. Harry had taken her call right before his flight took off and walked her through finding the car. He had two garages and one garage had two cars and the other had only one. She had gone on her own and found the first garage with the two cars and seen a lime green tiny little vintage convertible and a cherry red vintage non-convertible and became distraught that there was no navy car. When Harry picked up the phone he had been greeted with some yelling about how he must be colorblind if he thought one of these cars was navy and he had laughed heartily before explaining that there was another garage. She had huffed and traipsed through his house until she came upon the other garage. When she saw the blue car she was equally annoyed and elated. “Thank fucking god,” she muttered over the line and Harry had laughed, but found himself cut off when the line went dead.

He smiled and groaned slightly at her tight embrace. He was happy to be back in England after a month away and he was happy to have her in his arms even if he didn’t know whether he should admit that.

“It’s good to see you,” he musters and he feels her smile into his neck. The only fabric between her face and him being his thin waffle knit long sleeve. He could feel her breath softly against him. He pets at the back of her hair, “Thank you for coming to get me, I know it might have been a bit much to ask.”

“Don’t mention it,” she pulls back from his embrace and smiles happily up at him, “What are friends for?”

She brushes her hands at his shoulders and then moves to start putting his luggage in his car. He had two suitcases and a backpack with him, but he had told her he had more stuff sent over that would just be sent simply to his home. She had texted back a shocked face emoji when he said that, unaware that he traveled with that much stuff.

“Right,” Harry affirms, twitching into action at the word ‘friends’. He felt like they had gotten so close over the last month even though they had only talked over the phone for that time. Seeing her in person now felt like she had been his friend for years.

Once in the car, Y/N settles back in the driver’s seat, not wanting Harry to have to drive after the horrible flight from California to London. A direct flight was just about as bad as layovers in Ohio or Utah. She wasn’t sure what it was like in First Class, but she still knew it was rough being on an aircraft for 10 plus hours.

Harry closes his eyes beside her after a moment. He had watched her settle in the car with his head against the headrest, his eyes drooping as they regarded her movements. She was so sweet to him and he nodded when she asked if he wanted his seat warmer on.

“You’re too good to me, pet,” he whispers, head lulling once again.

She glances at him swiftly as she pulls out of the loading area. He smiled contentedly before drifting off to sleep.  

She turned the music low and silently drove them back to Sherwood Avenue. When she pulled the car into Harry’s garage, she sat there for a few moments as Harry softly breathed beside her. She had hoped he’d wake up upon their arrival so she wouldn’t have to wake him, but alas he was sound asleep.

She watched him, he was so quiet in this moment. So unlike how he normally was with her, talking about everything and nothing almost constantly. She liked that side of him. But she had to admit something about him this peaceful was just as entrancing.

The flutter of his eyelids brought her out of her reverie and she was grateful for the dim lighting in the garage because when Harry’s eyes focused on her she was blushing.

He quirks a brow and his smirk begins to settle back on his lips. “Home,” he raspily mumbles and begins to shift in his sea.

She nods and smiles softly, shaking off all the thoughts had been going through her mind.

“We’re back,” she affirms. “Let’s get you inside, sleepy boy.”

Harry shakes off his slumber with a rub at his right eye and a run through his hair. He climbs out of the car. She throws him the keys at his silent instruction of an extended hand and an eyebrow raise. She knows she read him correctly when he smiles sweetly and travels to the boot of his car to begin unloading the suitcases he was in charge of.

She follows him and rounds the end of the car, preparing to take some of his luggage.  

“You don’t need to carry anything, it’s fine, dove.”

His voice is extra gravelly still and she would’ve complained about the new nicknames if he hadn’t sounded so hot. She didn’t think she had any feelings for Harry other than friendship, she was almost sure of it. Sure he was attractive, but ever since she actually got to know him she hadn’t thought of him in a way that could be considered more than friendship. He made her blush, but he was just inherently smooth. It wasn’t because he was specifically flirting with her.

Except right now, the whole reuniting of it all paired with his voice and his sleepy eyes that she imagined likely looked similar to his bedroom eyes. She was having a hard time seeing that line of friendship.

“No!” She protested, tugging the backpack he was attempting to carry along with the two suitcases from him.

He sighs and sets down one of the cases, “Y/N, you’ve already been too good to me by picking me up. I’m not making you do any more physical labor with any of my heavy shit.”

“It can’t be that heavy,” she pulls the backpack on and she resists the slight step back her body wants to take from the weight of the backpack.

“Give it back,” he says, sounding concerned for her.

“It’s fine, I’ve got it, Har,” she smiles and gives a little twirl in his large garage, the backpack making her look a bit smaller.

He twists his lips trying to ward off a smile. He wasn’t annoyed, moreso he was delighted by her antics. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her.

“Oh you got it? Do you?” His amusement betrays his British accent, making him sound like he did at 19. He places the other case on the ground and walks quickly to stand right in front of her.

She squeals as he gets so close, his nose just about brushes hers. He’s smiling sinisterly as he takes hold of the straps of the backpack and tries to tug them off of her. Yet, she holds on tight to the front of them, laughing happily at their silliness and causing her nose to brush against his.

Their eyes are strong on each other, watching their every move. And they settle a little, laughter dying out, breathing evening out. Her hands are still strong on the front straps of the backpack, while Harry’s are strong on the top of her shoulders, wrapped around the backpack’s straps as well.

He licks his lips, feeling especially interested in seeing how hers finally taste. Right as he is about to lean in, brush his lips against hers, she pulls from his grasp, swinging away from him and dashing to the door that leads to the rest of his house.

“C’mon, it’s freezing out here!” She twists the nob of the door and beckons him.

He huffs, shaking himself out of the daydream he had almost made reality. He wanted to kick himself, he felt like a kid. He needed to get a grip.

“I’m right behind ya’,” he called, nodding his head to tell her to go before him.

Her smile sears in his mind like the shine on a brand new coin as she flicks on the light in the entryway. The light comes flooding in the doorway and around her. For that quick moment only she is illuminated in his eyes. She shines for him and he wonders if it’s possible to drown in light.

-

Next Thursday

“Crown came out on Sunday!” Harry said as he opened the door, knowing it was Y/N who had knocked.

“Had no clue from the ominous text you sent, ‘come over, i promise popcorn *crown emoji*’,” she laughs and enters the house and holds out a bag of chocolate chips.

“I already have it queued up and popcorn’s popping!” He says happily and takes the chocolate chips to put in little dishes.

They walk into the kitchen and she’s still in awe of his home. It was clean and sleek but with all the hominess still easily found if you looked a little closer. Tea cloths hanging over the ovens’ handles that had interlocking G’s - a facet of Gucci she could only assume. Various paintings of different scenes, one a Japanese store front and another a Blue Jay perched easily on a thin branch.

There were unique painted tiles that he must use for hot plates and a single fancy floral mug tucked next to an espresso machine and just little things that she was keen on exploring at some point, but Harry caught her attention.

“Adult slushie?” He inquires with an arched brow.

“Does the slushie perform exotic dances?” She asks jokingly.

Harry rolls his eyes and chuckles, “Sometimes those that drink it do.”  

She reddens at his implication. He then looks at her seriously and she regards him with utter delight. Her eyes twinkle as he moves about his home with ease.

“If you make it,” she confirms, in awe that he would make cocktails on this random occasion.

He smiles at her and begins his final tasks, checking to make sure the popcorn doesn’t burn and grabs the ingredients he needs to make the drink he was thinking of.

She stands beside him, eyes constantly wondering between his moving physique and his home.

“Did you know I know Emma?” Harry asks, looking up from the blender. She notices how his neck muscles twist and strain as he gazes at her. He was wearing a white t-shirt with ‘But Daddy I Love Him’ in a red vintage font and a black cardigan with different colorful objects on it, mostly flowers, it said ‘Spaceboy’ on the back and she had smiled when she saw it when he led her to the kitchen.

She hums, her gaze focused on him. His green eyes flicker across her face and down her body, simply taking into account her outfit. Pink sweatpants and a long sleeve with a drawing of a cute little clown holding two guns up at the air. While it might have sounded like a weird thing to have printed on a shirt, he found it fun, he was always appreciative of different clothing. Of course she had a gun-slinging clown shirt that she managed to make sweet, he thought.

“Fascinating connections of the rich and famous,” she muses.

“Yeah, well, Susan - Harry Lambert,” he corrects his friend’s nickname, catching himself, “he styles us both so we’ve met a few times. She’s really lovely.”

“That’s pretty epic,” she says and wanders closer to Harry, wanting a better look at his progress on the drinks.

Her hand rests on the countertop next to the two glasses he intends to place the ‘slushies’ into. The liquor he used just said “Blue” and she wondered what blue would taste like as he pours the glasses now. The consistency of them being relatively slushie like, she was impressed.

Her smile gives it away and Harry eyes her, “What’re you smiling at?”

“I’m admiring your bartending skills,” she meets his eyes and she realizes how rather close they’ve gotten as he leans slightly over her and the countertop.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he says playfully, “I take my mixology very seriously so I don’t want any praise until you’ve actually tried it.”

He holds the glass up to her and instead of grabbing it from him, she simply guides it to her lips. Her hand lightly grasping at the soft fabric of his cardigan. She parts her lips and takes a small sip, maintaining eye contact with Harry.

When the icey liquid passes her lips, her eyes flutter shut at the sweetness of the drink, it was like candy but with a light kick at the end from the alcohol. She loved it and when she opened her eyes again she took the drink from Harry’s strong hand and took another sip.

“This is dangerously good,” she finally says and Harry grins.

“Fantastic! Now we’re ready to start the show,” and he leads them into his living room that is just as big or bigger than his kitchen. A large screen television and a turquoise velvet couch are the main attractions of the room, at least what Y/N is focused on. There’s more art and posters up in this room, a lovely round coffee table and gorgeous vintage rug.

“Wait, Susan?” she circles back to Harry’s earlier comment about Emma Corin and their shared stylist.

Harry smiles and sits next to her comfortably, placing the drinks on coasters and the other various items on the coffee table.

“It’s my nickname for Harry since we’re both...Harry. Just felt silly calling each other Harry and Sue and Susan, they just fit so well.”

She nods, “I see.” But she didn’t really get it. She’d never had a friend where they only called each other a different name from their own, maybe a nickname that she would occasionally call them, but never one so ingrained that she would call them it when referring to them to someone else who surely didn’t know them and wouldn’t know them by the different name. Not that she really knew who Harry Lambert was in the first place, but it still made more sense than Susan. She shook it off just as another quirk of Harry being who he was.

They settle in for the show and they love talking through it, which Y/N was happy that Harry liked to talk during shows as well. She hated when people shushed her during movies and shows when she had something to say. They commented on the fashion and how wild some of the stuff was. Thankfully, as well, even Harry thought some of the things the royals did were absurdly lavish.

“He is so hot,” she finally says when Prince Charles is on the screen for another time and she can’t keep it in anymore, “How could they cast him for Prince Charles, they are far too kind.”

“Josh?” Harry questions, glancing over at his friend curled up on the couch next to him. She had her feet tucked beneath her legs and had her body on its side while staring at the television.

“Don’t tell me you know him too?” She says, taking her focus off the TV to look at Harry, a chocolate chip landing in her mouth once she finished talking.

Their blue slushies had been finished and the popcorn was half eaten. She was pretty sure they were on the second episode already.

He laughs, “No, but Emma says he’s very nice...He is rather attractive.”

That makes her smile, the both of them finding an actor attractive. It felt like Harry was like one of her friends from home, chatting about boys, something she really didn’t do anymore.

“Maybe you can introduce us,” she laughs, her head nudging at Harry’s shoulder beside her.

She doesn’t notice Harry’s lack of mirth at her joke as she turns her attention back to the screen, re-immersing herself in the plot. He twitches slightly uncomfortably at the thought of him introducing her to someone she might be interested in romantically.

“Why not,” he says half-heartedly and he hopes she doesn’t notice his tone.

-

The next day was Friday and she had the day off as per usual.

After three episodes of the Crown, she and Harry had decided to call it a night. He had offered that she could spend the night so she didn’t have to walk home after she had refused to let him walk her across the street. However, she declined, saying she didn’t like leaving Rori alone at night, especially since he was still getting used to the new house. Harry had understood but she could tell he was saddened by her leaving.

She had decided to plant some flowers in her front yard, hoping to liven it up. She had bought some plants at the local flower shop, pansies and aster thinking that purple and gold would look lovely together. She planned to set to work with little experience, but plenty of intention. Rori was outside with her for moral support, prancing through the growing grass and nibbling at the shrubs, more like a bunny than a dog.

Her mother had gifted her gardening tools a long time ago and their entire family had laughed because they knew Y/N didn’t have a green anything, most definitely not a green thumb. Today she had grabbed them and the plants and had placed it all in front of her planters. Then she sat there and went on her phone, scrolling through it mindlessly. She had no idea what she was doing or where to start so getting distracted was easy.

“Need any help?”

Her head turns and she slides away her phone with a sigh, knowing exactly who had just kindly asked to lend a hand.

Harry squints down at her and in this moment she is especially aware of just how tall Harry actually is. Normally she notices his height and thinks ‘yeah he’s tall’, but right now he towers over her. His hair is catching the surprising fall sun and causing glints of gold to radiate off him. His eyes are especially light right now and she feels oddly unnerved by their color, the hazy mint of some kind of predator. He is such a presence and she thought she had finally gotten used to him being in her life, but in this moment she is taken aback. She shakes her head after a moment too long of staring up at him.

“Hi,” she breathes and stands up from her sitting position. “I was just starting to do some planting, and I don’t know if you can tell but I have no gardening skills whatsoever.”

She gestures to her set up and Harry turns his gaze from her to the plants and smiles. He had been coming back from his morning jog and instead of entering his gate, he walked through hers. He looks at everything and reaches down to pet Rori when he comes running up happily to his friend.

“Well, it looks like a good start. Aster is an interesting thing to plant…” He kneels down to start digging up the soil in the planters.

She kneels beside him and watches him attentively. “I wanted chrysanthemums, they’re one of my favorites. But they were out, so it will have to do.”

“It will do perfectly,” he looks up at her from his work, “you wouldn’t have picked it if it wasn’t amazing.”

She makes a small smile at his statement, but doesn’t respond. Instead, she takes up mimicking his actions with the soil.

“Do you garden a lot?” Her voice is soft, not wanting to disturb the quiet that had fallen over them.  

“Not much anymore, I don’t really have the time, but I used to with my mum.”

She hums and scratches behind Rori’s ears absentmindedly when he looks curiously at what they’re doing.

They work silently, only talking intermittently. At one point, she grabs them glasses of water from the kitchen, mostly for Harry because he’s actually working up a sweat planting her garden. Harry hums random songs that are on his mind and she wishes he would sing for her, but she would never dare ask him to.

They talk about the Crown and how much they loved all the clothes in it last night and where the plot is going since they know the true history it’s based on. Harry offers British insight into the Royals that she had never thought about and they even venture into British politics which she admits she never really thought about since usually the US politics is far more in the spotlight.

He talks about his views on politics and she gives hers, even stranger though they even venture further into usually rocky territory and discuss religion. She is very interested by what Harry has to say about religion, his answers are both completely expected and unexpected. Something she’s noticed about Harry with her is that she always seems to be surprised by what he says, but it still manages to make complete sense after a moment.

“I’m going back to LA tomorrow,” Harry muses as he regards one of the pansies, like he’s almost staring it straight in the eye.

“Oh?” She turns to face him.

She stops her aimless moving about of the dirt. She had mostly been playing with the dirt while he did the majority of the work. She just didn’t enjoy it. Harry had definitely made the activity palatable. She’d have to tell him she would have likely given up an hour ago had he not been there.

He sighs and sets the pansy into the hole in the soil he had made for it. “More shooting for the movie, I’ll be gone for another month.”

“Wow…I think saying goodbye to you is just going to get harder and harder.” She looks away, her arms crossing over herself instinctively when the wind blows just a little too hard.

Harry looks at her now and sees her curling in on herself and he wants to hug her, but they weren’t like that. Instead he places a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it slowly up and down trying to offer her some warmth.

“I think we’ve made enough progress today. It’s starting to get cold, hm?”

She looks at him now and nods, her hand moving up and capturing his in hers. Like they had when Harry walked her home after his game, their fingers twist and turn around each other. Their eyes shying between each other’s faces and interlocked hands.

She springs to her feet after a couple quiet minutes of dodging eye contact and simply enjoying the feel of one another against each other.

“I should thank you for all this help,” she starts and Harry gets up to stand, beginning to say there is no need for a thank you for what he did.

“No, no.” She stops him, “I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere without your help and I took up all of your day, practically.” She takes hold of his hands now to examine the dirt that has managed to cover them since he was convinced that she should wear the gloves her mother gave her. “You should come over tonight and I’ll cook you dinner. I’m a much better cook than I am a gardener.”

Harry looks at her quietly, his eyes blinking slowly. Like he’s basking in the small movements she’s making on his hands. She traces the little cross that straddles his thumb and pointer finger on his left hand.

“I’ll make sure to bring dessert then.” He smiles and tilts his head to the right and a little forward towards her. She gazes up at him softly. “I might even bring something extra special.”

She raises her brows, “A special treat from Harry Styles himself. I’ll be anxiously awaiting your return then.” She taunts him only slightly because what he had said just about brought her to her knees. The way his smile had shifted to a smirk and how his voice has grown quiet and low, it just felt very intimate.

Harry returns at half past six, as requested by Y/N. He was freshly showered and cologned and she had never found a man more attractive than in that moment. Before he came over he told her he was dressing nice and she had no idea what that might mean with him. But when she saw him, she understood.

What it meant was a crisp blue big collared Gucci dress shirt unbuttoned almost half way down his chest revealing his ever present cross and fitted high waisted brown trousers. His fresh haircut meant for the 50’s slicked back with pieces beginning to fall about just perfectly. No belt, no cufflinks, and no suit coat. Instead of a coat he had on a jacket that was similar to her giraffe jacket he had borrowed all those days ago. His own was comfortably settled over his shoulders and it was obviously made of fabrics far nicer than hers and wasn’t fraying in any place.

He posed in her doorway and even gave a twirl at which time Y/N laughed happily. It looked amazing on him, she had no idea how her jacket had been the thing that started this all.

“How do you like it?” He asks seriously. “Does it look alright?”

“It looks perfect on you, Har. Is that the extra special surprise?”

He smirks smugly at her compliment and comes into the home, greeting Rori quickly before following her back into the kitchen where she was still cooking.

“Oh no,” he says and places a bag filled with a bottle of red wine and a pint of her favorite ice cream on the counter (and the surprise tucked neatly at the bottom of the bag).

She looks at him quizzically as he begins to take the items out of the bag.

“There’s one last thing in there,” he points to the bag casually, while putting the ice cream in her freezer. “Do ya’ mind grabbing it for me, dove?”

She rolls her eyes and reaches into the bag. Her hand retrieves a magazine from the bottom of the bag and when she flips it over to the front side, a gasp escaped her lips.

“Harry! Oh my god!” Her hand goes to her mouth as she takes in the cover.

A US Vogue magazine with Harry on the front of it. He’s blowing up a balloon in the photo and he looks beautiful. His skin is flawless and his hair is luscious and flowing a little longer than he kept it now due to the movie.

“I’m a Vogue cover model now, eh?” He asks, looking on apprehensively as she begins to gingerly flick her fingers through the magazine’s pages.

“This is the surprise?” She looks up from the page with him and Gemma sitting side by side.

Harry nods and watches her absentmindedly trace his face on the page.

“Do you like the pictures?” His voice is soft and almost timid?

“Of course!” She exclaims, not wanting to let any doubts pass through Harry’s mind. “Is this what you were doing up in Scotland a couple months ago, right before we became friends and you said you wanted to surprise me with something top secret?”

He nods again, his grin creeping onto his face as she stares at the photo of him in the cover photo’s outfit where you can see the entire dress.

“I want that dress...did they let you keep it?” She continues flicking through the pages lightly and glancing at Harry across from her. The dinner forgotten for the moment.

“It’s Gucci, I didn’t keep it, but I’m sure I could call Susan and get you one ordered,” he replies easily, leaning over the counter to watch the magazine.

She scoffs, “I can’t afford a Gucci gown for no reason...AND before you try to say you’ll pay for it, I would never accept such a gift and I am so for real about that, Harry.”

He waves his hands out in front of him as if to say he’d never suggest such a thing even though they both knew he’d buy it for her in a heartbeat.

“These pants…” she mutters, eyes now fixed on the trousers Harry is wearing in a specific photo in the magazine. They’re tan with a darker stripe on the side of them but the most intriguing part is all of the different drawings on it that seemed to be all related to Harry.

“They’re fab, no?” He quirks a brow at her, his face still holding an apprehensive grin like she’ll take back her praise at a moment’s notice.

“So fab,” she echoes. “Are they bespoke?” Her question has a hint of sarcasm dripping behind it, knowing by now Harry was notorious for custom-made items.

“What gave it away?” He wiggles his brows.

Her eyes flicker to meet his and she sees they’ve ended up face to face once again. It seemed to happen too often with one another. She settles the magazine down and stands up straight. She couldn’t allow herself to indulge in the proximity of his inviting lips. The proximity of his warmth that had seemed to seep into all facets of her life in the last two months or so. It was wonderful and warm, but it wasn’t hers. She shared him with so many other people and she couldn’t get carried away with him because tomorrow he’d be gone.

“That really is amazing Harry. I’m very proud of you, but if you don’t want a burnt dinner, I need to start paying attention to what I’m cooking.” She turns away from him and she quickly takes a palm to swipe beneath her eye, collecting the stray liquid that somehow fell from her eye. Funny thing, she wasn’t cooking with onions.

Harry doesn’t notice the movement, simply sighing that she turned from him yet again. He ran a hand through his hair, further tousling the once coiffed hairdo and then twisted his ‘H’ ring around his finger before settling on a bar stool to flip through the magazine and watch her cook.

“When does the magazine come out?” She calls as she stirs the sauce that she’d be pouring over their spaghetti squash once it was finished baking.

“Next week, They’ll release the story online and then I’ll be hitting shelves,” he muses, reading a different story in the magazine, not particularly interesting in himself.

“I’m sure you’ll be flying off those shelves the second you’re placed down.” She laughs at her joke and Harry rubs his lips with his thumb and forefinger thoughtfully.

“You think so?” His eyes sparkle with mischief at his question.

She turns her head, an open-mouthed grin already on her face, a slight scoff falling from her mouth, “Oh c’mon, you know so. I think you’re one of the most loved men in the world and people fall more and more in love each year.” She almost added ‘and I don’t blame them’ but she refrained thankfully.

“Most loved...I like that. Such an interesting way to put it.”

“I mean, you’ve been famous for what? Ten years now? That’s a long time and I don’t think you’re going anywhere...At this point it’s not about how big your celebrity star is, it’s your level of belovedness and I think that level is quite high.” She comments on something about Harry they never talked too much of. Sometimes they talked about him knowing famous people and about the work he had to fly off to do, but never the specific fame of it all. She didn’t really think Harry liked to talk about.

She didn’t have much of an opinion on it, it didn’t matter to her whether Harry was a famous multi-talented big-C celebrity or he was a nobody with a random job. As long as he was still her neighbour she would never complain. He made her so happy and maybe if he hadn’t been famous he wouldn’t be the way that he was so she would never say it was a nuisance. It just came along with him.

“Well...like I said, it’s a lovely way to put it. So, thank you for that.”

He stands up now, forgetting the magazine and rounding the counter to find a cork for the wine seeing that Y/N was doing the final touches on their food.

They eat dinner across from each other at her modest-sized dinner table. Harry slips his giraffe coat off and rolls up his sleeves to allow him to “really dig in” to the dinner she made for them. Maybe some footsy occurs beneath the table but neither of them would ever admit to it so did it really happen? Just feet moving randomly and happening to rub against one another every so often.

After dinner and a bottle of wine, the two of them join Rori in the living room where he’s curled up on one of the throw pillows. Y/N runs back to the kitchen to scoop them ice cream and whips of two Moscow Mules to go with it because she had brought up how when she usually goes home for the holidays, her and her sister always have a competition of who can make the most unique but best tasting Moscow Mule. Harry had said how he’d love to be there one day for that and she had blushed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear from the comment before taking a large gulp of wine. Since that wasn’t possible right now, her tipsy mind had decided that the next best thing was to make some basic ones right now.

“I bring a Mule and an ice cream,” she says airly, playing like a royal herself, as she holds them out to Harry.

He laughs softly and accepts them graciously, doing a slight head bow to her. Before he can say anything she’s a flash of plaid and red as she runs back for her own ice cream and drink. He had been complimenting her plaid pants with golden bees on them all night and asked her where she got them, teasing that they must be Gucci, but all she would say is that he couldn’t have them to go make a copy of this time.

She re-enters the room and dims the lights with her hip. Then she settles beside him, clinking her glass with him and they both take their first sip.

“Hmmm,” Harry hums after he tastes the cocktail, “I like it.”

“Moscow Mules are a favorite with my family,” she muses, flicking through the television to get them set up to watch the Crown again.

“Maybe I should meet them and thank them for bestowing such a good favorite unto their daughter?” Harry asks and she laughs and rolls her eyes. Questions of meeting family when they were just friends didn’t need a response. Right?

They spoon ice cream into their mouths as the show begins and they murmur comments to one another throughout the episode. They idly pet Rori sometimes as he moves randomly around the room trying to find the place he likes most. Once Harry’s done with his ice cream, Rori thinks his chest is the best place to be and Y/N can’t help but snap a quick photo of it.

“Not quite as handsome without the dress, but it’ll do,” she sighs and snuggles into Harry’s side. Her hand reaches up to scratch at Rori which then leaves her arm wrapped around Harry when her dog inexplicably leaves to go to bed a few minutes later.

He was an awfully good wingman Harry would easily admit at a much later date.

They stay cuddled casually with one another for the entirety of two more episodes and they realize they’re more than halfway done with the season. A yawn from Y/N cues to Harry that he should suggest they pause for the night. She agrees easily, her head nuzzling into his strong shoulder for a little while.

Harry takes the remote from her and turns off the television before flicking on the side table turquoise glass-blown lamp.

“Can I put some music on?” He whispers in her ear, already knowing the answer, but waiting for her to nod her head. She obliges and he slowly slides her onto the couch beneath them. Then he begins padding around her house to find her speaker.

“Arrow Through Me” by Harry’s all time role model Paul McCartney’s second band Wings begins to play through the speakers. What a fucking moutful.

She perks up at the music and sits up straighter on her couch. Her smile grows as Harry shakes his hips a little and moves to the beat of the song as he makes his way back over to the couch. He opens his mouth to say something, but instead of words ringing loud through the room, it's the sound of a phone buzzing from somewhere between a few cushions on the couch

“Oh shit...shit, shit, shit,” she awakens herself out of her daze with her profanity. Attempting to find her phone rather haphazardly, she stumbles around the couch.

It’s Harry who fishes the phone from beneath a throw pillow and hands it over to his friend. She smiles thankfully, her hair a little messy and her eyes slightly crazed, before picking up the phone without even looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?...Cate?...Oh, hey….No, I didn’t look at the ID...figured it was you or someone in the states...no one in the UK would call me right now...It’s almost midnight here, you asshole,” she pauses and points at the phone and mouths “it’s Cate” like Harry hadn’t been sitting there listening to the entire conversation.

“I’m just hanging out watching the new season of Crown...with Harry...yeah, that Harry,” she flits her eyes to Harry for a second and rolls her eyes sarcastically.

“Talk to him? I mean.. I can put you on speaker, I guess?” She looks at Harry and he nods his head eagerly.

She rejoins him on the couch and places the phone on the coffee table, tapping on the speaker.

“You’re on speaker now.”

“Hi Harry!” Cate crackles over the line, happily, likely just awoken from her slumber in California.

“Hullo, love,” he says sweetly, his voice beginning to slow even more as the night wears on.

Y/N rolls her eyes at both of her friends, knowing Harry was laying it on thick and that Cate would squeal over this exchange for the next three weeks.

“What are you two lovebirds up to?” She inquires sweetly and Harry makes an arched brow at Y/N and she only supplies a shaken head and a shoulder shrug.  

“Cate….” Y/N drags out, annoyed with her for both saying that and for calling just as she was planning on going to sleep.

“Sorry! Friends, I know. Even though staying in on a Friday night with just the two of you doesn’t sound very friendly…” She begins to ramble on,  but Y/N offers another warning ‘Cate’. Cate takes the hint and finishes her teasing. “Anyways…”

Harry and Y/N are completely red, sitting next to one another but grateful for the minimal lighting.

“I was just calling to check-in. Do you know what you’re doing for the holidays yet? I know you don’t do thanksgiving anymore - which was yesterday by the way - since you’re all British now.”

Y/N scoffs at her close friend and Harry nudges her side about the British thing.

“I don’t know yet, I have to see my work schedule and all that. I don’t know if I want to fly across the world this year though…” She trails off, kind of quieting in hope that Cate will miss it.

Harry regards the conversation, casually interested, yet intrigued since he had been meaning to ask the exact same question.

Cate hums, obviously unhappy with the response. “Alright. And you Harry? Do you usually go home to your family for the holidays?”

“You don’t need to answer that,” Y/N interjects.

Harry places a hand on her thigh to let her know that it’s completely fine. An easy smile on his lips as he speaks to the phone. Y/N places her hand over Harry’s on instinct.

“Usually, yeah. This year we were thinking of all going out to my place in Italy so it’s kind of up in the air right now. When I get back from LA, I’ll probably finalize it.”

“LA you said? We should get together while you’re here.”

“Cate. He’s there on business.”

“I know...but still. It’s fine,” Cate laughs lightly, knowing she was pushing her luck with this conversation as it was. “Anyways, darling, I just wanted to tell you I miss you and that Harry’s not allowed to replace me as your best friend. Y’hear that Mr. Styles?”

“I sure do, love.”

Everyone laughs whole heartedly and Harry and Y/N are still playing with each other’s fingers on top of her thigh.

Y/N thinks that’s enough of the conference call with Harry and Cate so she snatches the phone with her free hand and raises it back to her ear.

“Alright, Cate, I think we’re going to head to bed...not...not like that...I hate you...Now I definitely don’t want to come home...I’m kidding, I’ll think about it...Love you, too….Yeah I’ll tell him...Have a nice day…”

She throws the phone on the coffee table again and falls back on the couch. Her head rolls to rest on Harry’s broad shoulder and she sighs softly. Harry moves his head to rest over hers, chuckling softly. His sweet breaths of joy are why he then receives a soft slap on his far arm, only making him laugh more.

“Shut up,” her muffled voice comes out from against his blue shirt that is far more crumpled than it was when he came over hours ago.

“She’s so funny,” he laughs again, nosing his face into her hair.

“She tries to get away with way too much,” she sighs and Harry just pats at her side, smiling and not caring at all about the things Cate was hinting at because he wanted what she was alluding to to be reality.

“Y’know I have a question because she said I can’t be your best friend and that’s fine with me, but I wanted to tell you something, love.”

Her head raises to look Harry in the eye, slightly confused by his preface.

“You’re my best friend,” he says earnestly in the dark living room, “Is that allowed?”

His accent was thick with anticipation, the night wearing on his vocal cords. It was so quiet in the room, Harry was sure she just heard him swallow his own saliva - he had paused the music after a minute into the call with Cate. He blinks twice while waiting for any response, he stares straight at her.  

Her eyes barely shine through the darkness as she looks back at him. His question rattled through her mind. ‘Is it allowed’ for him to think of her as his best friend. It just didn’t make complete sense to her and she wasn’t sure if she should vocalize that doubt. But as his eyes begin to mist like a forest on a cold morning she knows she has to say something.

Her eyelids shut as she lets out a heavy breath, the processing of what Harry’s just said finishes.

“It’s allowed...Do you mean it?”

“Course I mean it,” his voice cracks, an incredulous laugh leaving his lips.

She straightens up, moving slightly from his warm embrace. He becomes fidgety without her tucked in his side. His fingers itch without her arm to caress. His lips move between his teeth without her hair to ghost over.

When she remains silent, Harry decides to continue.

“I remember the first time I saw you,” he croaks and she furrows her brow at this. “It was the day you moved in...Had just come home from my morning run and you’d pulled up in your moving van. I thought you had on the coolest pair of jeans I’d ever seen…” He pauses. He takes a deep breath and her eyes are watering now.

“I also thought you were one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen and I knew I had to know you.”

“Why’d it’d take you so long?” Is all she asks as she tries to will away the water welling in her eyes.

Harry rolls his lips together and breathlessly laughs, head tilted up to the sky. “Never knew how to approach ya’. Then you bumped into me, felt like it was the universe kicking me for being so damn slow.”

She bites her lip, a tear rolling down her cheek finally. “Oh, Harry.”

Then there it is. What the last few months had been leading up to. The moment where they no longer were able to wonder what the other would taste like. No more guessing. No more wondering. It was concrete. It was her lips pressed to Harry’s. She laughed lightly after a moment, pressing closer to him. His lips felt like the softest pillow she could ever lay on and she never wanted to get out of bed.

A small breath came out of his nose as he pressed eagerly back against her. She tasted like ginger and chocolate and maybe cherry - her chapstick possibly. He sucked at her lips, never wanting the taste or the feeling to go away. She was so soft and smooth and she responded quickly to his push.

Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck and into his hair as he pulled her closer by her waist. They were attempting to inhale one another, taking inventory of every possible crevice of each other they hadn’t touched before.

Harry’s lips part slightly as he swipes his tongue across her bottom lip. She giggles, tugging him over her and opening up her mouth easily. He pushes forward, a small sound leaving his mouth as he shifts them into a lying position on the couch, her legs encircling his waist.

A hand runs along her jaw, down her neck, across her collarbone and then down her arm. It lands so that he can intertwine their hands together. He feels her smile beneath him and he smiles back despite their lips never leaving one another. His other hand caresses her cheek as he kisses her.

Eventually, his lips roam around her face and on her neck aways, but mostly he focuses on her lips. Both of them are more than happy with this decision as they continue on for what feels like hours. Yet still those hours don’t feel long enough.

She pulls at a button on his shirt at one point, but Harry pulls back.

“I think we should call it a night.”

“Really?” She looks at him with confusion and a swirl of hurt in her eyes.

“It’s late, love, and… we just, I don’t want to rush anything.”

“Alright,” she nods, sitting up and running a finger down the side of his face.

“I think I’ve been doing best friends wrong all this time.” she muses, tracing lines on Harry’s neck now. Her eyes focused on her work.

“And why’s that?” Harry asks, his own hands running up and down her back.

“I’ve never snogged a best friend for hours on end.” She laughs and Harry can’t help his snort.

He moves his head to rest on her shoulder, almost like a hug, but not quite. She doesn’t move away, simply turns her head to continue watching her hands trace him, her work now moving to the back of his neck and his upper back and shoulders.

He hums a little bit, a love song he had played for himself the last few weeks when he tried to fall asleep and all that he could think of was her. She smiles softly and places a kiss on his shoulder.

“Let’s go to bed, darling.”

Harry nods, wrapping his arms around Y/N and carrying her to her room.

-

The next morning she finds herself wrapped happily in a set of strong, tattooed arms. She sighs content, snuggling closer to the warm naked chest in front of her.

“G’morning,” the man beneath her whispers. His voice a low rumbling rasp, she feels the vibrations below her.

“Morning,” she mumbles, nuzzling her nose into the crevice of his sternum, just above the butterfly that lives on his chest.

He hums at the feeling, slightly shivering from the cold, but pulls her closer nonetheless. She caresses his side with a light touch in response. Her fingers trace unknown patterns down his ribcage and then dip to the ferns peeking from his boxers. He shifts slightly when her fingers travel there. A place no one but him had touched in a long time.

“’ve got a plane to catch,” he says sadly and he brushes a hair from her face as she turns to look at his face.

His neck strains to regard her and he has a bit of a double chin from this angle, but she couldn’t care less. He looked so beautiful staring down at her. She never wanted to look away or lose this image. His eyelashes lightly caressed the skin just below his eyes everytime he blinked. It was quiet enough that if she listened close she could hear each flutter. The eyes behind them were even better, a dark rim of green encases emerald irises that hold black and gold specs, stars and stories swirl hidden beneath it all. She wants to drown in it.

He winks at her as she stares, growing disarmed with her intense gaze on him for so long. Her calming caress keeps him grounded though and she laughs at the wink, relieving him of her scrutiny that he didn’t understand was awe.

She groans, unhappy, “Miss it.”

“I can’t,” he drags out, not wanting to leave either.

“Can’t convince you to stay, no?” She rolls on top of him, pushing her chest against him and giving him doe eyes.

His strong arms encircle her waist as her legs straddle him. She arches more into him and leans down to kiss in between his pecs. Her eyes never leave his face, watching his reaction. It’s his turn to groan with a loud sigh to match. He throws his head back and steals himself to say,

“Not even a chance.”

She remembers when he had begged her to come with him and she smiles at his recycling over her response.

“Fair enough,” she says and rolls off of him. His head falls to the side to watch her get up and begin her day. He takes a deep breath, wishing he didn’t have to leave.

Harry heads back to his place to get ready for his departure. Before he leaves he joins Y/N and Rori for an early tea at the café. They get their drinks to go and walk back to Harry’s together. When they arrive, Harry’s car is waiting and she feels a dryness in her throat. He looks down at Rori and gives him a quick pet. He turns to her and she smiles weakly.

Harry’s hand encircles her wrist, caressing her softly. He leans down quickly and pecks her lips. It feels like he was barely there and then he was gone. It was like a butterfly had landed on her lips and wrist and then it had vanished.

Off his sleek black car goes, soon out of sight and headed for the airport. And there she is, left on Sherwood Avenue. Her fingers move to dance over her lips and then over her jaw and down her neck. Every place his touch had burned her in the past 24 hours. And now he was gone, across the world.

No talk of what came next had been spoken between them. She wasn’t sure what they were and didn’t know if she could handle that talk over the phone. She walked home after a few minutes of standing with her dog in front of Harry’s now vacant home. She sat silently in her house for half of the day.

At dusk, she decides on a run, maybe it will get her mind off her neighbour. She had sat in the same spot for too long. The same spot they had kissed each other last night. Maybe a change of scenery would stop the movie reel of last night that kept playing over and over in her mind.

She runs down the street, specifically keeping her eyes off the lovely home across from her, and keeps running down different streets, past the café, down to the park, and then finally reaches a stream that is past some brush and trees at the end of the park. There’s a bench there that seems like a nice place to rest.

Her music has been playing the entire time, the playlist she chose was inundated with Taylor Swift - but not chosen for that specific reason. Each song thankfully not from 1989. At least not until she’s running through the park. “You are in love” begins to play, it’s soft Twin Peaks-esque opening is familiar to her. It fits the cool rush of wind against her skin and the leaves that have turned brown as fall has worn on. She’d listened to it a thousand times. Sometimes thinking about the man who inspired the song, but all those times were long before she had ever met him.

Now that she knew him, she almost skipped it, but shook her head to herself feeling silly for feeling uncomfortable listening to a song she liked. Her run turns into a walk as she reaches the stream. The chorus begins. Taylor softly serenades about being in love. About a man in love with a woman. About Harry being in love with her.

She takes a deep breath, hearing the words a little different this time. Taylor sings “You kiss on sidewalks” and this morning flashes in her mind. She looks out at the stream, the water rushing along as she stands there, still catching her breath. Then the next part of the song reaches into her heart and twists it with all its might.

“One night he wakes, strange look on his face, pauses, then says, ‘you’re my best friend’.”

And that’s it. She takes out her headphones, her breath no longer capable of being caught. She breathes heavier and heavier. Her throat was as tight and dry as when Harry had left this morning. Possibly even worse. She can’t even swallow this time. Her phone and headphones are discarded on the bench as she raises her hands to her face and begins to pace beside the stream. Her eyes eventually match the body of water next to her and she feels a sob wrack through her. She couldn’t breath, her running and panic had brought her asthma to the forefront and she was hyperventilating, gasping for air. She was drowning and no one was there to help her.

Tears stream down her face and she moves her hands to her thighs as she tries to calm down, not knowing how she reached this level of distraughtness. Deep breaths she reminds herself. She licks her lips and shuts her eyes. “Just ground yourself,” she whispers.

When she’s finally gotten ahold of herself she sits at the bench and stares into the stream. A distorted version of herself seems to stare back. It’s constantly moving, swirling, and changing  and as she watches that version of herself she wants to scream. Her tears had faded awhile ago, but the fear was still there.

The last few months had been so easy, had been so perfect. Going over to each other’s houses and being with each other. But if she ignored history wasn’t she destined to repeat it? When she heard the confessional of the man Taylor had loved in her song, when he had told her she was his best friend which meant he was in love, she felt hurt. She knew how their story ended. Taylor and Harry’s. He left. He left her when she needed him and today, Y/N realized it’s what he does. It wasn’t his fault, she didn’t blame him for leaving today. It was his job, not another woman. But holy fuck when she heard Taylor sing those lyrics, it felt like she had been hit on the head out of nowhere. Reminded that she had been living in a fairytale for the last few months, swept up in a fantasy that she wasn’t meant to be a part of.

She ran a hand over her face, rubbing slightly at her cheek. The same cheek Harry had caressed last night and she sighed. She stared off into the trees and then shook her head, standing up and heading back home. Alone.

Harry calls her when he arrives at LAX. She doesn’t pick up. He calls the next day. She doesn’t pick up. He texts and receives no response for three days.

She thought she didn't know what she would say.

“I listened to too much of your ex’s music and now I’m insecure.”

“I feel like you’re gonna leave me someday so I’m too afraid to do anything with you.”

“Is it alright if we’re just friends, I don’t think my heart could take the pain of falling in love with you and then losing you.”

“You can’t promise me forever and after just one kiss I knew I couldn’t do anything less.”

“The price of loving you is far too high.”

She types them all out and then deletes them every time. Too scared. Instead:

“I’m busy with work, I don’t know when I won’t be. Let’s just plan on meeting up when you’re home.”

Harry nods when he sees the text on Friday. He tells her to take care and make sure she gets enough rest. He wipes away the stray tear that decided to escape his eyes after reading her response. He exhales and looks to the sky, wondering what could have possibly happened since he had left. He sends little emojis over the next few weeks that she puts a heart on, but she doesn’t communicate otherwise.

Harry doesn’t ask her to pick him up. Instead he sends flowers to her house the Thursday before he returns. They make her smile and she wonders if maybe she can move past every red flag she feels like she sees. After a month away, she can’t lie and say she’s not excited for Harry to return. She missed his warm skin and his soft hair. She missed everything and the flowers had only made her wish it had been Harry on her doorstep a couple days early.

He gets home on the 12th and he’s at her door after throwing his things in his entryway.

She opens the door and bites her lip as she takes in who it is.

Harry says her name breathlessly and she melts. Her doubts fly out the window for the moment and all she wants are his lips on hers.

She falls into him and his lips are on hers. They twist into one another and their lips move softly yet urgently against one another. Not sure how to explain the last four weeks, they both attempt to say everything in that kiss. All her pain and confusion press into Harry’s lip with each breath. All his sadness and longing tug at her lips as he sucks her bottom lip into his mouth and hungers for more.

He pulls back and stares straight into her eyes, “Come to Italy with me for the holidays.”

She tilts her head confused, trying to catch her own breath.

“I’m not sure what happened while I was gone, love. But I know I missed you and I can’t go another month without you. Just say yes and we’ll take it from there...Please,” he begs, voice cracking as he holds her cheek.

She wets her lips and opens them to speak, but her voice betrays her. Instead she just nods and squeaks out a noise of approval. Too elated to speak, they press their lips back together and she pulls Harry into her home. 

December was far too cold to snog out in the freezing night air.

-

[parkers-gal]

why pt. ii T.H.

wc: 1.7k

when you’re never truly over them

Tom had left for the press tour. After staying up all night crying and sobbing to the point of almost growing sick, he had left. He should've texted you, should've ran after you the minute you slammed the door on his face. 

To be honest, you weren't as heartbroken as you thought you would've been. The events leading up to this 'break-up' had pretty much prepared you for the worst. It was only a matter of time before the tension broke and somebody exploded; you had expected it, but you hadn't expected to break up with him. You also didn't expect him to actually leave for the press tour, but Tom was full of surprises. 

Now, in May, you were beginning to pack up your belongings into boxes. Tom hadn't made it easy though, because it was your house too. Everything you owned was a constant reminder of the person you used to be: happy and carefree, vulnerable and raw. Tom had destroyed that person, and all for a  few week's worth of partying with a jerk he knew from school. 

Each time you grew sad, you thought about everything that went wrong, and anger bubbled within you. You were stuck in this loop, lost on where to go next.

[Your Best friend] was helping you through the entire thing. And while she was completely supportive of your decision to move out, she also knew that you'd be better off with Tom. You had never been happier in your entire lifetime, and she knew your stubborn demeanor would only cause more destruction. 

She had called Tom the moment you stepped back into that house with a box. He picked up on the second ring, slightly confused as to why she would call him. 

"Hello?"

"Thomas," [your best friend] deadpanned. 

"What- uh.. what's up?"

"You need to keep fighting."

"Fighting?" Tom repeated, confusion lacing his voice.

"Fighting for you and Y/N," she had replied. "You can't give up, not now, after everything you've been through. You can't tell me it's not worth the effort."

Tom was silent for a minute. Not because he thought she was wrong, but because he wasn't sure how he could keep fighting when it seemed as though you had already given up. 

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Tom, you can't solve this problem from across the world. You need to be here, with her, for her." 

"She doesn't want me." 

"That's not true, and you know it. Cut the bullshit or you won't ever get her back." And with that, [your best friend] had hung up. 

Harrison was also supportive of the idea of getting you two back together; Tom was more of a mess than he would admit. He was knee deep in his own sorrow and pity. It seemed as though there was no motivation when you weren't there supporting him. 

While you weren't together, that didn't mean you stopped supporting him. Tom was an important part of your life, and you could never stop loving him. Despite what you said that night, you could never truly stop your affection for the brown-eyed-boy. 

"Y/N," [your best friend] spoke. It was week two of the move, and she was watching you pack. "C'mon, stop."

"What?" You replied, somewhat bitterly. 

"I know you don't want to leave this."

"This?" you said, hand gestures motioning to the room around you. "What is 'this'?" 

"This life, these people," she replied. "You still love hi-"

But she didn't get to finish her sentence, because the front door had just closed. Your brows furrowed in confusion, because neither Tom nor Harrison were due back for months; they were the only other people who had a key to the house. 

You were out of the bedroom in seconds, jogging down the stairs as [your best friend] followed you. When you reached the bottom, you froze, your jaw lightly open as you stared at who had just arrived. 

It was Tom, clad in grey sweats and a black tee shirt. Harrison was behind him, setting the luggage near the coat hanger as he looked to [your best friend], both of them simultaneously leaving the room. 

"Y/N," Tom had said after a few moments of silence.

You didn't reply, only looking up to his eyes before crossing your arms and looking at your feet shyly. Memories of a similar encounter had just flooded through your mind. Your first date, the first time you slept together, all of it similar in a fashion of shyness and awkwardness, but never tension. 

"I didn't think you'd actually move out." 

At this, you glanced up. "What else was I supposed to do? Stay here until you came back?"

He looked at you as if you were supposed to know the answer; know what he wanted, and you did.

"God, Tom. I don't need you, you know? I'm not completely, 100 percent dependent on you. I'm not a baby, and you can't honestly expect me to come running to you whenever I need help." 

"I never said you needed me," Tom defended.

"You didn't have to say it. We both knew it." 

"Bullshit, Y/N."

"Bullshit?" You interrupted.

"I've never once thought that." 

"Bullshit!" You repeated. 

"C'mon, you can't honestly say that I've thought of you that way," he said, his hand moving in a gesture. 

"Really?" You laughed sarcastically. 

"What?" Tom spoke harshly. "Is that hard to believe? I know you aren't dependent on anyone else, Y/N. Don't try to twist this." 

Your eyes were wide as you took in his words, more frustration bubbling up inside you. "Twist this?" You motioned between the two of you before your hands went up in defeat. "I didn't twist anything! I'm just trying to expose what you fucked up!" 

"What 'I fucked up'?" Tom repeated, his eyes rolling in disbelief. "There are two people in this relationship!"

"A relationship that failed because of one person!" You screamed finally. 

"And you're suggesting that was me?"

"Well it's not like I did anything!" You argued. "I broke this off because you were doing more harm then good!"

"It was just a phase!" Tom debated. 

"Being an asshole isn't a phase," You spat out. "It's developed, and you were with just the right people for it to show." 

"You're calling me a secretive asshole, now?" 

"Your words, Tom! Not mine," You yelled. "Did I fucking say that? Ever? I said you were an asshole!"

"Yeah, but you implied that I've always been an asshole!" 

"You shouldn't have been an asshole in the first place!" You replied, walking away from the front door and heading into the living room to fill the box that was sat near the couch. Tom followed in suit, wondering where Harrison and [your best friend] had gone, because he knew the yelling wasn't over, and it would echo throughout the house, regardless of where they were hiding. 

"Honestly, Tom," you started. "Did you only come back to start another argument?"

His face was deep in confusion, his eyes rolling once again. "I came back to fix us." 

" 'Us,' Tom? I've already told you: there is no us." 

"You know that's not true." 

At this, you were silent. A part of you longed to be back in his arms, but the sensible part of you knew he royally fucked up, and mending things between you two wouldn't be this easy. 

"Then what're you gonna do?" You asked after a moment. "Keep arguing? Keep screwing up?" You looked him in the eye with a harsh stare. "Or are you gonna grow up and take responsibility? 'M not your girl anymore." 

As your sentence ended, your voice grew quieter, the truth finally exposed. Both of you were varieties of broken and vulnerable, frustration and anger threatening to spill out in the form of endless salty tears. Both of you were slightly panting, breathing noises being the only contribution to noise in the entire house. 

Tom was a few feet away from you, his curls disheveled from when he was previously running his hands through them. When your last sentence finished, something in his eyes had snapped, and he was moving forward and closer to you, alarmingly fast.

And then, he was kissing you. Each of his hands were holding your face. He was slightly shaking, and that was when you realized he was crying. The kiss was deep and passionate and overwhelmingly emotional. He tasted just how you remembered: like cinnamon. His lips were warm and soft and enveloping, and the minute he made contact, you had melted into his touch. Tom was your greatest weakness, though you wish he didn't have such an affect on you. Tom had a soft spot for you and you only, and it never failed to swoon you and win you over. 

The kiss seemed to last for hours, and you weren't complaining. You had missed this. When it ended, Tom was still holding your face as your foreheads touched. Both of you were breathing even harder, but your arms  were around his neck now. He held you tight and lovingly, almost as if you would slip right through his fingers and out of his grasp like you had a few weeks ago. He was lightly sniffling, but the tears had stopped falling.

You took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of Tom. You were almost nostalgic, and the idea of being his was what brought you out of your daze. 

Tom was staring at you now, looking down into your eyes and taking in your beauty. He didn't know how he could be so stupid and clumsy when it came to your love, and he promised himself he wouldn't ever make that mistake again. You were a powerful woman who knew what she deserved, and what Tom gave you wasn't it. You deserved love and affection and care and intimacy and warmth and commitment, things Tom was certain would come in the future.

After a considerably long moment of silence, Tom spoke. His voice was rough and raspy and deep, and he was whispering. His lips were barely touching yours; just ghosting over them, anticipation for what was to come next: words or action. For you, words came first. "I'm still in love with you." 

And then he kissed you again. 

[thenovelartist]

Burned Beginnings, Chapter 5

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13. Family

“Yes, Maman, Adrien and I arrived safely. Now please go to bed.”

“I just wanted to check up on you,” her maman said from the other side of the phone. “It’s your first time out of the country, so you’ll have to excuse me if I worry about you.”

“We’ll be fine,” Marinette assured, glancing over at Adrien as he snatched one of their luggage bags off the carousel. “And tell that to Papa, too. I know he’s more worried than you are.”

“Why do you think I’m the one making the call and not him.”

Marinette laughed. “I’ll keep you updated.”

“All right. Thank you, sweetie. Enjoy your trip.”

“Thank you, Maman. Love you. Tell Papa I love him.”

“Will do. Love you, too.”

With that, Marinette ended the call.

“Got our bags,” Adrien said, pulling the two suitcases behind him. “How’d the call go?”

“Fine,” Marinette said, putting her phone in her purse. “My parents are just worried about me, so it was me doing what I could to settle them.”

“You have a close family, so I understand that.”

Marinette took her suitcase from him. “So where to, now?”

“Taxi to the hotel, drop of our suitcases, find a place for dinner, maybe walk around the city a bit if we’re up for it, and then crash out for the night.”

“Doesn’t sound like too bad a plan.”

“Then let’s go, milady.”

Once they’d secured a taxi, Marinette looked out the window to take in the sights.

“Have you been here before, Adrien?” she eventually asked.

“Couple times for modeling jobs and once for fashion week,” he confirmed.

“Do you like New York City?”

Adrien shrugged. “It’s novel. It’s kinda like Paris, being a bustling city, but it’s just so modern and feels like people just don’t appreciate the history behind their city, you know? And the natives here are like a whole different breed of human. But they feel the same about us, so feeling’s mutual.”

Marinette nodded, turning back to the window to marvel at the sights.

When they got to the hotel, Adrien checked them in. Marinette only knew basic, school-grade level English, but Adrien seemed comfortable with the language. He did promise to be her translator for everything.

“Here’s your room key,” he said, handing her a room key once he’d finished at the front desk. “I got two rooms right next to each other.”

“I still can’t believe you paid for all this,” she said, taking the keycard. “This is so much, Adrien.”

Adrien shrugged. “I wanted to,” he brushed off. “And it’s not like I’m going to go broke from this trip or anything. It’s fine.”

Marinette still wasn’t fully comfortable with all of it, and she still knew that one day, she’d have to pay him back somehow. But for now, she’d smile and thank him for the millionth time.

Once they dumped their suitcases, they started to wander around town until they happened across a food shop that smelled amazing. They wondered inside the bustling shop and found the line was conveniently long enough for Adrien to read off most of the menu for her. Once Marinette told him what she wanted, he was kind enough to order for her. But before Adrien could pay, Marinette quickly held out her own card.

“I can get it, really,” she said with a grin.

“You don’t have to.”

“Please,” she said with a pout.

The cashier laughed and made some comment about her that got Adrien to smile and put away his card.

“He said that you sure know how to guilt trip a guy,” Adrien translated as they walked back to their hotel, bag of take-out food in hand. “And I couldn’t help but agree.”

Marinette grinned at that. “I’ve had good practice manipulating you. It’s almost like you just let me do it at this point.”

Adrien snorted a laugh. “Yeah, you’d think I’d have learned by now that you’re a little minx.”

“But you love me,” she said, batting her eyelashes at him.

She meant it as an offhand comment. One that could easily be brushed off, but that wasn’t its intent. She was probing, like the ‘little minx’ she was.

And she liked the hesitant response she got, his pause followed by a soft smile and gentle shake of the head. “Yeah, I do.”

 14. New York

He forgot just how much he hated New York Fashion Week.

I’m doing this for Marinette.

That was what kept him going. That, and her smiles. She was happy and enjoying herself, which made this whole trip worthwhile.

The last thing that made this easier to bear was the fact he was strictly a spectator. While he’d debated using what contacts he had to see if they could have special access, he ultimately decided not to. When his father kicked him out, it wasn’t something that was just kept quiet. Back when he still was in contact with Chloe, she told him he was the buzz of the fashion world. Even recently back in Paris, he had been spotted by cameras and had come across an article written about him. Whatever contacts Adrien had would likely be unwilling to work with him, and he wasn’t willing to take those chances to find out for certain. Not even for Marinette. If she decided no after this, Adrien would still feel confident that he did everything her could to help her make her decision.

“You look tired. No, more like completely drained.”

Adrien looked down at the lovely lady standing beside him and forced a smile. “I’m fine. Are you enjoying yourself?”

Marinette paused. “I am,” she answered.

“That’s all that matters, then.”

“Adrien?!”

Both he and Marinette turned their attention towards the voice.

And Adrien’s heart dropped. “Chloe.”

The woman rushed over to him, heels clacking on the pavement. The fiery look in her eye was one he was all too familiar with: she was on a mission. “Adrien, I have so many questions for you, but let’s start with what the hell you’re doing here with her.”

Adrien gave Chloe a flat look. “I thought I told you I no longer want to be in contact.”

“Yeah! What’s that about?” Chloe screeched. “You text me out of the blue and tell me we’re done?”

Adrien nodded. “Yup. Because if all our interactions after my dad kicked me out weren’t enough to convince me, Marinette here told me everything. I was already fed up with your lies and how cruelly you treated people, but telling people we slept together when we never did takes the cake.”

Chloe froze, her eyes wide with horror, and Adrien knew why. Was he being an ass on purpose? Absolutely. He knew full well what he was doing talking in his best English loudly enough for anyone and everyone around to hear.

In the blink of an eye, camera flashes started up, and Adrien knew that meant paparazzi were here, ready to cash in on this drama. He pulled Marinette close, knowing it was likely too late but still trying to hide her face against his shoulder.

“Adrien,” Chloe began, voice dripping with fake honey. “What are you talking about?”

“Our friendship is over, Chloe. Don’t try to lie your way out by saying I just used you for sexual favors, either. Because that never happened. We never happened. Just leave me alone, and don’t bother contacting me ever again.” He hoped he didn’t butcher the English in that, but even if he did, he didn’t particularly care. His point got across, Chloe was redder than a tomato, and security was doing their best to shoo the paparazzi away.

Now, it was time for him to leave, if for no other reason than getting Marinette out of here. “Head down, cover your face,” he whispered to her.

She already had her hand over her face, but she still nodded in understanding.

“You think this is over, Adrien? Just like that?” Chloe yelled in French.

“Completely,” Adrien asserted.

How Chloe’s face turned redder, he didn’t know, but it did. “And you never answered my question of what you were doing with her!”

Adrien was going to leave it, but Marinette turned around and snapped. “I’m treating him with more respect than you ever did, entitled bitch!”

His heart went thud in his chest, and he quickly slapped his hand over the grin that couldn’t be suppressed. As he ushered Marinette away as quickly as he could, he snuck a glance behind him at an absolutely enraged Chloe, her security coming to her aid and trying to get her in the car. He hated to say it, but served her right.

 15. Dreams

“I’m not doing this.”

“Hmm?”

Marinette looked over at Adrien. Currently, they were resting in Adrien’s room while eating pizza from a little place close to the hotel. “I’m not going into this industry. At least, not this section of it.”

Adrien’s expression fell. “Was it because of Chloe?”

Half of Marinette’s lips pulled up in a twisted, bitter way. “Yes and no,” she said. “Chloe wasn’t the only reason I came to this decision, but she’s a good reminder that people like that will always be a part of it. People who would gladly manipulate you to advance themselves exist here, and you will always have to be careful about who you can and can’t trust in this industry. Who can you trust to give your designs to, who do you have to hide from, when do you let go of your designs even though they won’t be under your name, and when do you cling to them in the hopes that one day you’ll be able to use it? I just…”

She shrugged, giving Adrien a pitiful smile. “I don’t have the energy to gamble on this trust game,” she finally managed. “And I don’t trust easily in the first place. Which, in a profession that requires you to be social and stretch yourself out into, that would take so much out of me. And in the end, I just don’t want to. Maybe things would have been different had I not been walked over by Chloe. Had things not gone in such a way where teachers and students automatically began to assume the worst out of me just because of my reputation that I didn’t even get to shape myself. I don’t want to go in an industry that demands those parts of me that I’ve learned not to give out. I can’t.”

The pain on Adrien’s face physically hurt her. He’d given so much to encourage her, and here she was, practically throwing it back in his face.

Yet, despite that, he smiled sympathetically. “If that’s your decision and your reason, I won’t challenge you on it anymore.”

At the sight of his forced smile, her heart hurt, and the guilt soon became so much to bear. She wouldn’t cry, though, not even as she felt the pinprick of tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

His brow furrowed. “What for?”

“I feel bad for making this decision, because you brought me here to New York Fashion week. You spent time and money planning this trip just to encourage me, and here I am throwing it back in your face. I’m really appreciative of what you’ve done for me. Really, I mean it. So, I’m so sorry that I can’t… I can’t move forward and prove your efforts weren’t in vain.”

She hadn’t been expecting the shock on his face at her words, like they’d caught him off guard. But soon, that faded away into a soft, sympathetic smile. A real one that she liked so much, that could ease her worries and calm her down.

He stood from the bed and started walking over to her, his arms open. At this point, she gladly took the invitation, standing from the chair she’d been curled up in and meeting him half-way. When he wrapped her up tightly, she clung back, relishing in the warm comfort that being cocooned in his arms, protected from the world, provided.

“I’m not disappointed,” he spoke softly. “Not at all. It’s clear you thought long and hard about your decision, and so, if you decided you didn’t want to go into this field, then that’s perfectly fine. I just didn’t want you to give up on your dreams just because you saw only the negative. And I know I was part of that, telling you my own horror stories. That’s why we came, as one last encouragement to feed your dreams before you decided on your future.”

By now, Marinette could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She sniffed, hoping to bite them back.

At that sound, Adrien squeezed her tighter with one arm and rubbed her back with the other. “Oh, Marinette,” he whispered soothingly.

That was all it took to break her. The tears spilled over down her cheeks, and there was no stopping them. She buried her face against his chest, clenching his shirt tighter as she hiccupped out choked sobs. “Thank you,” she managed to squeak out in the midst of her tears. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re so welcome, Marinette,” he whispered.

Still, he never let go, continuing to hold her as he gently swayed back and forth. And Marinette gladly stayed in that warm embrace, unwilling to leave the comfort he so willingly provided, even after her tears had stopped falling.

[leftonraed]

The Night We Met - Episode 4

pairing : Taehyung x OC genre : bodyguard!au, singleparent!au, idol!au   word count : 2.3k summary — Taehyung decides to take some time off. warning : mention of blood Prologue | ep.1 | ep.2 | ep.3 | ep.4 | ep.5 | ep.6 | ep.7 

You glance at the rearview mirror when you hear Hina grunt.

“Hina, are you hungry?” Taehyung’s looking down at her when she doesn’t stop wriggling in her car seat.

She nods with a small frown, now sprawled, her body pulling down on the belts preventing her from falling off.

“We’re almost there. Wait a little bit.”

“Let’s get you bac-”

Hina squeals again louder in annoyance when Hwiin moves her arms closer to her.

“Hina, look out! Can you see the sea?” You promptly say, trying to distract her.

It seems to work as the little girl stretches her neck towards the window with round eyes to get a glimpse of the ocean. She struggles a bit, pushing on her arms to have her body back on her seat behind Taehyung’s back who marvels just as much at the beautiful sight. Hwiin’s subtle glare goes unnoticed by you, eyes going back and forth between the road and the gps not to to miss the destination.

“We’ve arrived!”

The lunch passes by uneventfully. Everyone was relieved to finally see Hina in a better mood. Taehyung didn’t say it but he was almost calling his holiday idea into question but he knew it’d do them both good. Hwiin was invited out of courtesy and something told you she accepted despite her busy schedule solely because she knew you’d be there as well. You weren’t given a choice unlike her but you surely didn’t mind going with them.

You walk out the restaurant, en route to the lodging he had reserved for five days. Taehyung asked if he could drive. Hwiin opens the passenger side. She hasn’t said a word the whole time you ate. Thrilled Hina pulls on your hand to have you ride with her. The car drives away.

“You don’t look very good, are you alright?” He observes after a while, giving his manager quick glances.

His manager is holding her stomach, unable to hide her uneasiness anymore. “I think I must have indigestion or something.”

No one says anything for a while, only Hwiin can be heard whimpering, earning worried looks from Taehyung.

He pulls over in the garage you opened after stepping out of the car. You take care of helping Hina out of her seat and take some of the luggages on your way to the house.

“Maybe… Coming here wasn’t a very good idea?” She tries softly while massaging her stomach.

In a tricky position, Taehyung scratches the back of his head and looks for words. Hina walks by and crashes herself against his leg, tightening her arms around. He smiles down at her. You keep walking back and forth the house and the car, half-listening to them.

“I can’t cancel this. I promised Hina.” He starts, more embarrassed than he should be. “I really think it’ll do us good.”

Hwiin glances at you at the same time you look at her. She averts her eyes to gaze back at him. She knew she’d ruin their days off by staying, he’d definitely feel bad about her not taking part and at the same time, she’s bothered by the thought of you having him all to yourself. Not that you share that thought but she definitely does.

You walk by at the same time he says, “I don’t want you to go back by yourself.” It makes you roll your eyes.

“I know,” she smiles, his words warming her up.

“A taxi’s on the way!” You blurt out, pushing the phone you’re holding in her face as evidence.

Taehyung frowns a little surprised,“when did you take my phone?”

“You left it in the car,” you smile sweetly and hand him back the device.

“I guess I’m not wanted anymore,” she glares at your back.

He shakes his hands, not wanting her to misunderstand. “I’ll wait with you.” He quickly intejects.

____________________

You’re in the middle of your washing when you hear some commotion outside. You keep your ears open but don’t hear anything worth worrying about, thinking the two of them must be playing together.

A heavy thud is heard right after and this time, you hear Taehyung shouting something to you but you don’t understand.  

“Why are you being so noisy? I’m trying to relax.” You frown while soaping yourself.

Hina shrieks so loud it makes your blood curdle. You frown at the door in shock.

You jump out the tub, catching hold of the furniture to prevent yourself from losing balance and fling the door open. Something hits it hard on the other side.

“Hina?!”

The little girl squeals again at your sight, delighted. You crouch at her height taking her in your arms.

“Are you hurt? Why did you scream?”

You fall back on your bottom under her weight when she hugs your neck as you’re still ensuring she is all right. She points at the door with a toothy grin. “Taetae! Scawy!”

“Huh?” You look at the door that slowly swings back just now to close and reveals a shocked Taehyung on all fours. His head pounds with pain from the unexpected blow.

You watch him, taken aback, while he sits back and brings a hand to his nose. “Ow… Why did-”

His eyes get so big you think they’d burst out of their socket. He can’t help but gape at your body solely wrapped in a short towel, some of the white suds slowly sliding down your wet legs and arms. His mouth moves but no sound comes out.

“Are you okay?” You worry earnestly.

The only thing hiding her- If Hina wasn’t there-, he thinks while staring at Hina’s legs between yours.

“Y-you have a nose bleed.”

“Hm?” His fingers get stained when he touches above his mouth. He covers his nose so Hina doesn’t have to see and complains, voice muffled. “Why did you open the door like that?”

“I heard her screaming. What’s happening?”

“It was supposed to be a joke.”

You frown, even more worried. “You seriously need to work on your sense of humor.”

He mumbles a response but you don’t listen to him as you look at Hina, “wanna come take a bath with me? With lots of bubbles?”

She nods smartly at the sound of bubbles and you both leave bleeding Taehyung behind.

_________________________

Taehyung ends his call with his parents and thumbs answers to the couple of texts he just received while walking back inside. Sliding the window door tightly shut, he thinks the house sounds quiet, too quiet, especially when Hina spent the past hour running and screaming around. It stirs his curiosity up.

He walks in the living-room but the T.V is switched off and no one’s inside. That’s only when he reaches the corridor that he’s able to hear a singing voice. He follows the soft sound and it brings him to the bedroom he shares with Hina.

The door doesn’t make a sound when he opens it and sees you with your back turned to him. It’s almost completely dark inside but he can make you out holding Hina in your arms. The sight makes him swoon and he’s not quite sure what has his heart clenching so hard.

Now aware of his presence, your singing turns into soft hummings out of self-consciousness and you don’t look away from the peaceful face of the angel snuggling against you.

Taehyung walks close by to peak at his niece’s face. The silence you linger in is comforting in many ways.

A loving, fatherly smile naturally adorns his face shortly before surprise furrows his brows when he gets a whiff of your enticing smell.

With a tilt of his head, he lets it drag him along your shoulder where it’s subtle on your skin then it gets heady at your nape and hair, mingling touches of rose, jasmine and grapefruit. He closes his eyes, daring to close the tiny distance between you to let the tip of his nose brush your strands.

He snaps himself out before you notice him and slides a little to the side to look one last time at Hina, his mind fuzzy with an old memory —

“Wow, you’ve grown so much,” marvels Taehyung as he watches eleven-month-old Hina wobble on her tiny feet as she focuses on balancing her weight to stand up.

“Yesterday, she even walked by herself.” He hears his brother brag from the kitchen.

“Can you come to me, Hina?” Taehyung moves his hands to prompt her.

Her mother says softly, with a smile, “go to your uncle, baby.”  

Hina positions him and carefully makes a first step forward, then a second and a third. There’s not much left of a distance before she can grab onto one of his fingers. Her foot trips and almost makes her fall but she manages to stop herself and make another step closer to him with their encouragement.

“That’s it, that’s it. A little bit more.”

She catches the loving smile he addresses her, deconcentrating her and she automatically goes into an all-four position and crawls to his knees.

“Good girl,” chuckles Taehyung as he holds her against his chest, kissing her fluffy cheek and making her smile.

A while later, Taehyung walks upstairs to wash himself.

“The towels are in the second drawer. Don’t hesitate if you need anything.” His brother’s wife says before closing the door.

“Thank you.” Taehyung settles his clean clothes on a shelve nearby and starts undressing.

The bathroom is quickly filled with steam from the shower. Taehyung shakes his bottle of shower gel.

“Hmmm,” he pouts upset when he can’t get anything from the empty container. He eventually gives in and throws it in the bin from his position, turns around and starts reading the plethora of bottles aligned on the shelves. Wondering how his brother gets his bearings. He picks one that reads - Eau du soir.

“Ge- gel- p-parfum-” He stutters, trying to decipher the foreign language. “Do-douz- douche, ba…” He gives up and squirts some of the liquid on his hand. Citrus and floral scents fill in his nose and the air around him. “That must be it.”

After he steps out, he roughly dries his hair and puts on his shirt. He hears some noise on the other side of the door and carefully opens it after he’s finished dressing up.

He’s welcomed with the toothless smile of his niece, craning her neck up to gaze happily at him.

“What are you doing here, small bean?” He grins, caught out.

He notices his sister-in-law not far, watching her. “She can’t get enough of you once you’re here.” She smiles as he lowers to hold her in his arms. Her head naturally snuggles in his chest, still warm from his shower and scented comfortingly. “She was missing you.”

He blindly watches you slowly settling her in the middle of the bed. She stirs and almost wakes up. You naturally decide to lie down right next to her, softly patting her back to get her back asleep.

Taehyung sits down by her side.

“Hm-” He hesitates when he’s caught you out of the corner of his eye, “are you- You’re shaking…”

You look up at him and he’s able to make out the glare you’re sending him.

“You surely must be the only person in the world to have AC on in the middle of winter,” you whisper-shout trying to stop the trembling of your lips.

“Huh? Not even true. It’s the only way I can go to sleep.” He frowns in the same childish tone and carries on, lifting his forefinger to point at your figure. “Besides, you’re the one walking around in underwear.”

“It’s a sleepwear.” You dispute to have the last word.

He mumbles to himself, “liar.”

“We can find common ground…” He looks back at you as you carefully shifts Hina closer to him and yourself to her. You notice his gaze lingering on the curve of your hips when you hike your naked thigh up slightly. “Come lie down behind me.”

His heart jumps in his chest and soon, the room feels warmer despite the steady whirring of the air conditioning.

His mouth is dry. “Wha-?”

“I don’t want to wake her up and you won’t turn it off, so come to bed this way my heat fortress will be complete and I’ll be able to go to sleep.”

“He-heat fortress?” He stands up.

“Hm-hm. Hina’s the first wall. You’re the second one.”

Taehyung brings a hand to his chest thudding hard. “I-I don’t think it’s-”

“I could leave,” you raise yourself on your elbow. “but Hina might wake up and-”

His words are barely audible but you freeze the second you hear them. He’s standing in front of the window. The sky is clear tonight and the light of the moon framing his build emphasizes his height above you. His hair hides his eyes.

“Don’t- Go…”

You gaze up, a little dazed. You can’t remember hearing his voice this low before.

He walks around the bed in silence and sits down. You watch him quietly, a little amused as he hovers your body, giving you a sample of his pleasant scent while grabbing the cover.

You keep a close watch on him over your shoulder, taken aback when he suddenly tucks the thick cover tightly around you.

“Uh- What are you doing?” You ask out of breath.

“Taking precautions.”

You aren’t sure who he's targeting but you can feel yourself already warming up comfortably and dozing.

It’s been around fifteen minutes since Taehyung heard your first silent snores and he still can’t feel a bit of drowsiness, too aware of your close, lightly dressed presence. The night will be long.

A heavy sigh escapes him, it’s simply not working. He’s trying to calm himself, forcing his eyes closed and not making a big deal out of it but it’s difficult. He’s the one who stopped you from leaving and he can always go sleep in your room but something has him desiring you right here, by his side.

He hears you shift and freezes when he feels your arm moving up his chest. His eyes naturally look for your face and find it turned in his direction, peaceful. His hand goes to grab you and surprises him when you close your fingers around.

He doesn’t move and stares softly at you, as if he’d find any kind of answers.

/////////////////!\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Feedback is much appreciated Reblog if you wish to read more

[hockeyforthefirsttime]

Nolan Patrick- Coaches Niece

A/N: this feels like a mess, and probably is, however i hope someone enjoys it originally it started out as a 4+1, but like i said, messy

Word count: 6.1k

TW: some angst, mentions of cheating, arguing

Pairing: Nolan Patrick + Fem reader

You are headed to Philadelphia for college, as well as for staying with your uncle. He is a man of few words, but he always means well. When you land in Philly and he is at the airport to pick you up, you are a little surprised. You suspected that you would have to hail a taxi to get to his place, but he sent you a text saying where he is in the airport. You are a little relieved, when you realize you don’t have to sit in a car next to a stranger for however long.

It is currently 6:37 am, and you haven’t slept a wink on your flight, so you drowsily head for the luggage claim. The other people from your flight are there as well. One of them is a kid in a flyers jersey, number 19 to be precise. He can’t be more than eight years old, but he has been babbling about hockey the entire flight. You know from him that the Philadelphia Flyers have a match coming up during the weekend, so when you walk out a little behind him and his parents, you aren’t surprised that your uncle is looking at them with a distant smile. Until he sees you. The smile, it’s more there as he walks up to you and takes the suitcases from your hands.

“Hey, it’s been a while kiddo. How was the flight?”

He greets as he pats your shoulder, careful to not overstep any boundaries.

“Hey Alain, the flight was okay. Some kid was gnawing half the plane’s ears off with Flyers trivia though, didn’t sleep much.”  

You hum a little teasingly. Knowing the fact that your uncle is actually head coach for the team.

“Better get used to that kiddo.”

He chuckles as you walk to the parking lot together. He opens the trunk of the car and lets you help him put your suitcases as well as your backpack in. You don’t miss the overstuffed hockey bag that lies there as well.

“Now, I know you probably want to go home and get settled or maybe sleep, but I’ve got morning practice with the team, so you’re just gonna have to suffer through it.”

That would explain the hockey bag. You just nod as you unlock your phone and start scrolling through the messages and snaps you’ve missed on the flight.

----

You’re sort of used to being around hockey, but when you enter the Wells Fargo Centre at roughly 8am, you would rather be at home to be honest. The arena is a bit cold and you’re glad you brought a hoodie inside, as well as your beanie. They are both pretty plain; you hope to blend in with the seats.

“Okay, I’m gonna go through the locker room, but you can find a place anywhere near the ice okay?”

“Sure, Al.”

You say as you pull the hood of your hoodie up over your head, and go in the direction he pointed out for you. You’re rounding a corner when you crash into something hard. For a second you’re wondering if you’ve gone even more blind, but soon knock that thought away. The wall is actually a person, and from his dropped bag, you’re guessing that he’s one of the team players.

“Sorry, didn’t see you there.”

He says with his slightly hoarse voice, whilst bending down to pick up his stuff.

“No worries, partly my bad as well.”  

You give the man a tired smile and head for the door that leads to the rink. You take a seat near the penalty box, propping your backpack up in one chair and lay flat out on the other chairs, so that your head is resting on your backpack. You don’t think anything of the run in with the player.

Unbeknown to you, he thinks of you. He just raises the question to his coach, who looks at him with disapproving eyes as he enters the locker room five minutes late.

“It’s my niece, she is going to be staying with me for a while, so you might see more of her around here, Konecny.”

This piques the interest of the single guys on the team. All except one. He doesn’t really care about girls right now, just wanting to make sure he does the best he can on the ice. That is until he sees the figure laying near the penalty box. His heart does a little clench when he sees this girl that is laying there seemingly unbothered by the ruckus the other players are causing.

You’re not exactly unbothered, but you try your best to keep it all under wraps. You don’t NEED any hockey players screwing you over. Not again. But you should have known, rowdy hockey players will always be demanding attention. And without fail you give it to them.

Your eyes are drawn to the players joking around on the ice, doing warm ups and various reps that your uncle keeps yelling out. The session is nearing the end and the players are all chanting for a practice game, and your uncle concedes, saying that nothing prepares you for a game like actually playing a game.

You sit up, deciding that trying to sleep is going to be futile, and decide to watch the training session, just to entertain yourself. You can’t recognize anyone, more specifically the guy you crashed into earlier.

Following the puck with your eyes, you admire the players chasing it, their technique is pretty good and while they aren’t as serious or quick as they usually would be, you can tell they are still as swift. They aren’t wearing numbers for training, but there is one guy that seemingly always comes closer to your side. You don’t take notice of it at first, but after he crashes into the wall separating the ice and the tribunes, you take a closer look. Starting to follow him around the rink, reading his play. It even seems like he has realized this, that he has caught your attention, because he now plays more all over the ice.

Hes tall, and you can see darker tufts of hair peeking out from underneath his helmet. There seems to be only one other player who has noticed his askew skating. They are currently playing on opposing teams and as they come closer to your side of the rink, you recognize one of them as the man you crashed into earlier. He body checks the taller man into the wall, playfully. You can see his lips moving as he chirps something into the ear of the taller man. You don’t hear it though. But you see the little smirk he sends in your direction.

------

You often come to the Flyers games if you can, and today after a series of away losses you really feel like supporting the team and your uncle. They end up winning against the capitals and some of the guys decide to invite you to celebrate with them, as well as to get to know you better. Even though it’s a wednesday you still say yes, as classes start later on thursdays.

You are waiting outside the locker room as first reporters exit, coaching and staff and later team members. Lately you have been texting TK, the guy you crashed into on your first day in Philly. It was actually him who had invited you out to celebrate, so now you were here standing outside the locker room, just waiting for them to emerge.

“Hey Y/N! How are you?” You look up from your phone and see TK and the taller man from the first day. You now know him as Nolan, or Nols, just to annoy him.

“Hey TK, I’m good, congrats on the win!”

You smile up at him, going in for a congratulatory hug. He lifts you up in his strong arms and spins you around once before setting you down. Nolan just looks at you a bit awkwardly, right hand rubbing his neck.

You ride with the two of them to the bar. It’s filled with the two of them recapping the game and the radio on low. You just sit in the backseat smiling at the two boys talking about the stuff they do best, always trying to do better. It’s a stark contrast to your ex. He usually blamed everything on everyone else.

While everyone is piling in the doors to the bar you enter last with Nolan, who has held your door open, and stuck by your side as you walked to the door. TK was quick out though, eager to get drunk in celebration.

“So what did you think of the game Y/N?”

He almost mumbles in that deep dark voice of his.

“It was a pretty good game, everyone played decently well.”

You smile at him as he opens the door to the bar. It is filled to the brim with people in orange, not only team players, but a lot of fans as well. It scares you sometimes, almost being in on the insanity that is hockey.

“What does pretty good mean?”

He wonders out loud.

“Well, you had some mishaps as well as shots and passes that should have worked out, but overall a good game.”

He looks at you curiously.

“You sound just like coach Alain.”

Trying to supress the laughter that threatens to escape you isn’t as successful as you’d like for it to be, but you think you manage to hide the smile on your lips.

“You have a pretty smile.”

Nolan mumbles, and you almost miss it as you walk over to the bar.

“Hmm?”

You question out of reflex. Looking up at the tall man, you expect him to repeat what he said, just for good measure as you almost missed it due to the loud music playing.

“Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

He says, ordering a beer. You just shrug, ordering a cider.

“Put it on my tab.”

He says to the bartender. You smile to yourself, but don’t comment on it.

“Well, I’m gonna go play some pool. You’re welcome to join if you want to, I promised TK a round before he gets too drunk.”

You could swear his face falls just a little bit as you mention his team mate, but you try not to overthink it as you make your way over to the tables where the team has gathered. You notice that Nolan has hung back a little. Not following as closely as he did when you entered.

You arrive at the pool tables just in time for a new game. You and Ghostie decide to play against TK and Carter, hoping to win.

Turns out, Ghostie is absolutely terrible at pool. Which means that against the goalie and the forward, you’re barely keeping up even with how much training in pool you have. It doesn’t help that the chirps go to Ghostie's head. Which makes him, if possible, even worse. Just for funsies you throw in some as well, just to mess with him.

Suddenly half the team starts cheering and TK yells out.

“Heyy Patty, just in time to save the damsel from playing another round with Ghostie.”

“I’m not that terrible.”

Ghostie protests.

“My back is literally breaking from carrying the team. I’m sorry man, but you're going to the bench.”

He hangs his head comically low, and you pat it, as he hands the pool cue over to Nolan. He proceeds to wink at you with that stupid smirk all over his face.

That was the birth of the meanest pool duo the team had seen in a while.

----------

You’re in the middle of a lecture when your phone lights up with a snapchat notification. You have turned vibration and sound off, but your eyes are still drawn to the device. As they have been doing for the last few days. Professor Ericsson has been drawing on about the Hidden Markov Model for ages explaining the same thing over and over, going in circles making things more confusing than it has to be. That’s why you decide to pick up your phone with your sweater covered hands and open the snap.

It’s Nolan, he’s sent a message in the chat.

Hey, want to meet up and play some pool later? Just to make sure were on top of our game next time the team goes out?

You smile a little, looking at the screen.

Sure, but I’m in a lecture now, I’ll text you when I’m out.

You type out the message carefully before hitting send, before flipping the phone upside down so you can’t see the response before you leave class.

Professor Ericsson keeps you five minutes past his time, but luckily it’s the last class of the day and you are amongst the first out the door. Tired of all the talking, you plug your music in and open snapchat as you head towards the library.

- Oh shit, sorry

The message reads and you smile to yourself.

- No worries, out now tho:)

Your coat is off  and you sling your backpack to the floor before sending a second message.

- What bar? when?

The response is almost immediate after. You can’t help the little butterflies in your stomach, but you sure as hell can try to ignore them.

- John’s at 8?

He suggests, and you can’t think of any place or time better, so you agree and start studying the Hidden Markov model, trying to get it as well as the examples. Knowing yourself you set an alarm for seven, just to make sure you remember to meet up with Nolan. You have just gotten into the flow of things when said alarm goes off. That is also when you realise that you haven’t got a ride to the bar.

- Hey Nols, mind picking me up at the university? If you’re passing by.

You vaguely know where Nolan lives and hope he hasn’t left yet.

- Sure, on my way!

It’s an actual snap this time, a short video of him opening and closing his door with the text in the middle of the screen. Snapping a picture of yourself with a thumb up, you deem it as enough of an answer. You pack your backpack again and head for the main entrance. It’s cold out and frost is lying heavy on the ground. You pull your scarf higher up so it covers your nose.

Soon Nolan is pulling up and you get into the car, slinging your backpack into the backseats of the SUV.

“Hey, thanks for picking me up Nols”

You smile as he pulls out out of the campus and onto the road.

“No worries, I was gonna pass by either way.”

He answers, as you take in the inside of the car. It smells of energy drink and shampoo, which is explained by the red bull in his cup holder and his wet hair. He’s wearing jeans and a gray hoodie. You assume the jacket in the back is his.

“Straight from practice I’m guessing?”

You ask, looking over at him.

“Yeah, Alain was tough today. Fair warning, I think he might be in a bad mood when you get home.”

Nolan mumbles the last part, seemingly a little embarrassed. That’s when you remember you’ll have to let your uncle know you might be home late, just so he doesn’t get worried.

“That reminds me, I’ll have to shoot him a message.”

You say as Nolan parks the car. He exits before you, after grabbing his coat from the backseat. You type the message for your uncle and hit send. When you hear your door opening you’re a little surprised to find Nolan grinning down at you leaning lightly on the door.

“C’mon, we don’t have all day.”

He smiles. You exit the car, making sure you have your wallet and hear the door shut as Nolan slams it closed and locks the car. Together you walk into the bar. The bartender gives you a nod as you head for one of the open pool tables.

“Want anything to drink?”

Nolan asks politely as he hangs his coat on the back of a chair.

“I’ll just take a sprite, if you don’t mind.”

He nods and heads off to the counter to order. Meanwhile you grab a cue and line up the balls correctly in the triangle. The table is well used, evident by the green felt that has been worn white in some spots.

“I don’t mind if you drink, you know. Even if I don’t.”

Nolan says as he returns with one glass of coke and one with sprite. He sets the glasses down on the table closest to you.

“Nahh, I don’t like myself when I’m drunk anyway, plus I have classes in the morning.”

Nolan nods his head in an understanding way as he grabs a cue for himself.

“Want to split? Or should I?”

You smile, standing at the opposite side of the table to him.

“I’ll split if you don’t mind.”

He answers and goes to the right side of the table, and lines up his shot. You shake your head before you can even begin to admire him. Instead focusing on the game, seeing as he lands one solid into a pocket and the rest of the balls spread sort of evenly across the green felt. You nod in admiration; he still knows how to play.

“That’s good! Let’s see if you can keep it up.”

Chirping him seems to be the easiest way to carry conversation, without it getting too deep. Because if there is one thing you’ve learned about competitive boys, is that you don’t want to have a full blown conversation in the midst of a game. And the fact that he misses his next shot makes it a little more interesting. It goes back and forth like that for a while, you chirping him, and him chirping you.

You’ve played three games now, and even though it's him in the lead with one point, and you don’t want to lose, time is ticking and you should get home soon.

“Okay, this is not finished, I’m still gonna beat your ass in this game.”

You grumble on your way out to the car. Nolan just smiles at you, shaking his head.

“You know, the car isn’t gonna be cold enough for you to wrap that scarf around your head every time?”

He mumbles close to your ear, making you stop your movements as heat rises to your cheeks. He opens the door to exit the bar for you, and immediately you see a shiver run through his body as the cold winter air slithers in.

“No? But it’s still cold outside though, don’t you think?”

You say lowly as you lead the way back to the car. You’re feeling snug and warm, wrapped up in the gray, knit infinity scarf. Nolan never ceases to surprise you with his manners as he opens the passenger door for you, letting you enter the car first. As he closes the door for you, you lean forward and adjust the AC to low, just to mess with him.  

The entire ride to Alain's apartment is filled with Nolan huffing and pulling the sleeves of his hoodie over his knuckles. You guessed right when you thought he was stubborn. He hadn’t even looked at the AC controls, so determined that the car would heat up soon. You are pretty sure he regrets tossing his coat to the backseat again.

He is pulling up on the curb of the apartment complex, and for some reason you don’t feel quite ready to leave, but you know you’ll have to.

“Thanks for tonight, I had a good time.”

You smile, looking at Nolan. A soft, almost shy smile is on his lips.

“Yeah, me too. We’ll have to hang some time later.”

He says, looking directly at you. Maybe hockey boys aren’t as bad as you thought. You pick your backpack from the backseat and open the door, but before you close it completely you turn and look at Nolan with a mischievous look in your eyes.

“And Nols? You should probably turn up the heat on the AC.”

------------

Studying is probably the most tedious fun thing you do. Because, while you love system engineering, it’s a tough major and some of the classes are kicking your ass. So when your phone rings repeatedly you take it as a welcome excuse to take a break. However, you regret it just a little when you see Travis’ face light up the screen.

“Waddup, you complete and utter nuisance?”

You answer him before he has the chance to say something first.

“Wazzup, you nerd.”

He smiles back at you.

“Not nerd, it’s called college degree.”

You shoot back at him, playfully.

“You mean to say that my work isn’t actually work?”

Travis acts hurt, you can see the joking glint in his eyes though.

“Yeah, but I can see that it pays your bills though, so let’s call it a job…. for now.”

He laughs while looking at something in the background, before looking back at you.

“So, what big engineering theme are we working on today?”

Travis asks like he cares. You know he doesn’t though so you don’t bore him with small details.

“The Hidden Markov Model, it has to do with probability and stuff like that.”

You can hear rummaging and someone talking in the background of Travis’ end. He looks up at someone before you hear them speak.

“Who are you talking to?”

You could recognize that deep voice anywhere, even though the crackling of your speaker. Of course Nolan is around.

“Your girlfriend.”

Travis answers with a smirk on his lips. Nolan doesn’t show up in the frame, but from the way Travis gives you a cheeky little side eye, you’re guessing Nolan is giving him a death stare.

“Shut the fuck up Teeks.”

You just chuckle, not thinking it is anything serious.

“I don’t date hockey players anyway.”

It’s meant to be light hearted, really, and you don’t think anything of it as you speak up. But when Travis looks at you, slightly shocked and Nolan does appear on the screen, you suddenly feel a bit judged.

“Wait, really?”

Travis questions, looking at you curiously, you don’t notice the way he side eyes Nolan though.

“Yeah? I don’t get the big deal?”

You are confused to be honest. Why would they care about who you date anyway?

“Well, why won’t you date any hockey players?”

Nolan asks. He is trying to play it cool, you can tell. And you have to wonder, if you have sent the wrong signals.

“‘S just, I dated this Penns player a while ago, turned out that he was too busy for me, or never really cared for all I know. He ended up cheating on me while he was away for some games.”

The feeling of  something gathering in the bottom of your stomach makes you feel sick, you would rather not bring all this back up again. It doesn’t help, when you look back up at the screen and see Nolan with furrowed brows and Travis looking generally uncomfortable.

“It’s stupid, I know. And I shouldn't judge people based on him. Anyhow, how are we feeling about the game tomorrow?”

You try to shift the conversation to something else. Of course you haven’t got that much luck.

“We’re playing the Penns tomorrow, you do know that.. right?”

Nolan utters, and all that goes through your head is FUCKFUCKFUCK. Because how in the everlasting fuck could you forget that they were playing the Penns tomorrow? It’s all Alain has been talking about for the last couple of days.

“I completely forgot that’s who you were playing.”  

The sigh that slips past your lips doesn’t go unnoticed by the two boys.

“Well, I’ll be in the stands cheering for you boys.”

Smiling feels heavy and you can tell they don’t really believe it. The silence between the two boys is confirmation enough. And it lasts for a second, until Nolan breaks it.

“Who was it?”

He inquires. The question itself feels a little prying, but by the way he mumbles it you know it’s not intended to be.

“Does it matter?”

You ask, voice almost cracking, hoping he will budge.

“Yeah it matters, he hurt you.”

And he speaks so clearly, there really isn’t any question about it. And in a moment of weakness and hurt you let it slip.

“Marcus Pettersson, okay. No biggie. I’m gonna go to bed now you should too.”

You add before hanging up.

----------

You barely sleep last night, and the sleep you get gives you nothing at all. The hours spent at university are only manageable because of two cans of red bull. For some reason it makes you think of Nolan, about the smell of red bull in his car alongside the shitty shower gel scent that filled up the space. For some reason, the moment you pop open the can, you think it suited him.

“Wanna come out later?”

Alex from your last class asks you as the two of you exit the lecture hall. Usually you would have said yes, considering Alex is pretty cute and you have been harbouring a crush on them for the last few months. However the excitement you thought you would feel is not there. No, because your first priority tonight is a fucking hockey game.

“Thank you for asking, but I have some other plans I have to follow through with, but maybe some other time?”  

You smile at them as you both head towards the main doors.

“No stress then, I will definitely keep that in mind.”

Alex winks at you before holding open the door. You exit together, but each of you head for opposite directions. While they start to head for their car, you start towards the main entrance, where you hope your Uber is waiting. He is in fact not, so you take the time to plug in the earbuds and turn on some music.

When the correct car pulls up, you greet the driver and let him know you’re ready to go. After ten minutes you’re at the Wells Fargo Centre, and you pay, as well as rate the driver five stars.

Using one of the side entrances you start to make your way towards the rink. You’ve been around enough for people to recognize you, but it still feels weird walking around here and hear greetings all around the place. Even if you’re wearing the hoodie, people seem to know who you are.

“Hey sleepyhead.”

But you don’t expect to hear that voice. Not yet. You have barely closed in on the wardrobes. He isn’t supposed to be here. He is supposed to be on the rink warming up. Shit.

“What do you want, Pettersson.”

You almost snarl as you turn around to look at him. He doesn’t look as mean anymore, and the voice he uses isn’t as arrogant.

“To say hey?”

He questions as you look at him, raising your brows.

“It’s been a while.”

He adds, trying to sound innocent. You don’t buy it for a second.

“It’s been a while for a reason.”

You scowl at him, trying to walk away before this turns into something you don’t want to be involved in.

“Wait! Please.”

Marcus says, making you turn around.

“I married her you know.”

He confesses to you softly. And that’s what breaks you for the day. With the little sleep, last night, and him ripping at your old wounds.

“I fucking know Marcus, and that's the worst part! You told me you didn’t want anything serious, you told me you couldn’t commit like that. And not even a year later you’re married! Okay. I get that, I didn’t have to be the one. But I know I deserve the respect of being broken up with in a proper manner. So truly, I know, and I don’t care about it.”

Angrily you wipe the tears that have dared to slip down your cheeks, and nothing is upsetting you more than the fact that he can still make you cry.

“I just wanted you to know, I hope I haven't ruined you for anyone else.”

He almost whispers, and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Don’t think so fucking highly of yourself, I’m for no one to ruin.”

You seethe and walk away for the last time. Some of the players from the home team are still outside the wardrobe, which is placed after the away teams. You can spot Carter and Kevin, even Claude is out here. But while your eyes only glide over them, your eyes stick to Nolan. He looks at you, knowing you just lied through your teeth to Marcus, and you hope to some sort of entity that he doesn’t out you for it. And he doesn’t. Even if he looks like he wants to say something.

You brush past the team, up to the VIP booth that has a bathroom connected to it. You look into the mirror, and see a distraught person looking back. With tears streaked through the concealer you used to cover up the dark circles under your eyes, they now seem more prominent.

Digging into your backpack you find some makeup wipes and clean your face before going to your usual spot in the regular stands. You sit there and wait for the game to begin. And when it does, it’s an intense one.

Your uncle seems to be happy for it, cause the guys are playing impeccably. Their passes are powerful and their skates cut across the ice faster than you’ve seen in a while. First period is pretty even though. Both teams are passing great, but at the end the Flyers pierce thought the Penns' defence by having Travis tackle Marcus and Nolan sending the puck flying into the goal. You jump in excitement as the horn blares across the stadium, although you see the angry way the Flyers are playing.  

Second period is the same, however the Penns seem to be gaining on the Flyers and not before long, Crosby scores on Carter. While the other side of the rink bursts into celebration, you sink down into your seat, next to the Flyers' penalty box.

A few minutes before the second period is over, Travis is sent to the box beside you. He gives you a worried glance, which you meet, but then you spot fans standing up in their seats and start yelling. You’re worried, and that worry is not unfounded, because Nolan has dropped gloves on fucking Marcus Pettersson.

You don’t notice it, but your every action is viewed by Travis. He watches with hesitation as you sink down into your seat, and then with surprise as you get up and put your hands to your mouth just as the first hit from Nolan lands in Marcus’ gut. Marcus folds a little, but manages to aim a hit towards Nolan's head. Never in your entire life have you been more happy for helmets. One referee has come over to them and is trying to get in between. Nolan lands a final hit before they each get pulled to their own team. Nolan gets called for a body check and is sent off the ice for five minutes.

Nolan is currently getting checked out by the physio team, and with his previous head injuries, you have to admit that you’re worried. Not one thought isn’t about him and his head, possibly his fists as well.

Before a sane thought can strike your brain you rush to the checkout room. Travis gives a small smile, before entering the ice again. You fly by all the security with a hidden pass you have kept underneath your shirt, and knock on the door before you think twice. But the second it takes them to open the door makes your head spin. You know what it looks like and you don’t want those rumors for either of your sakes. He probably doesn’t even want you there either.

You’re just about to turn around and leave, when Catherine from the physio team opens the door. She looks equals parts shocked and confused when she sees you.

“Hey, Y/N, he can’t really see anyone right now, as we’re still not finished with his check up.”

“Oh, that's okay.”

Your mind is going in overdrive, hoping he hasn’t heard who’s at the door. You don’t have such luck.

“Hey, it’s okay, let her in.”

His voice seems to calm you down. Something about how smooth his voice is. So you take a careful step into the room. Nolan, thank god, seems to be doing alright. His cheeks are tinted pink and he has a slight smile on his lips. That’s also the moment you realise he is shirtless.

Catherine walks up to him and you have no idea how she keeps her cool.

“Now, just stare straight ahead, please.”

She tells him, and his gray gaze settles on yours. Not wavering for a second, not even when Catherine shines a flashlight into his eyes. After a few seconds she puts down the flashlight.

“You seem to be all good, Patrick.”

She takes the hint, from your twiddling thumbs and Nolan's intense stare.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

She says as she closes the door behind her.

“I’m.. Nols, I was so worried about you.”

You decide to say, not knowing if there is a better option. He just pats the spot beside him on the bench, indicating for you to sit next to him.

“You know, I’ve been waiting to do that for quite some time.”

And for a second you feel a little angry with him.

“You’ve been waiting to possibly not be able to play again?”

The question comes out incredulous, and you don’t know how he could risk it like that. He sighs.

“No, I’ve been waiting to knock Pettersson on his ass for a while now. He is, if possible, the the most frustrating defenseman ever.”

He admits out loud. You can’t help but sigh as you know where he is coming from.

“That’s not the only reason though.”

Nolan mumbles, and you can feel his hand next to yours.

“I kind of figured.”

You whisper, letting reality sink in. But, just as you’re about to explain, Alain walks into the room. Things never seem to go in your favour.

“You good to go Nolan?”

He stops dead in his tracks when he sees you.

“Yes, sir.”

You feel Nolan automatically straighten his back, ready to get out there again.

“Y/N?”

Your uncle asks confused.

“I’ll just head out Al.”

“I expect an explanation when we get home, miss.”

You nod your head, and a feeling of blood rushing to your cheeks almost overwhelms you as Nolan squeezes your hand discreetly when you get up.

-----

The Flyers end up winning on overtime, with Laughton scoring the second goal. And while all the players go out, you decide you need to talk to your uncle. You’re sitting in his car waiting for him to do his last few rounds, when Nolan shows up outside your window. He is quiet, when he should be riding on a high from winning. However when you open the door and step out into the frigid air, a warm smile makes its way onto his face.

“What are you gonna tell your uncle?”

You ponder the question for a few seconds, unsure of what to answer.

“I don’t really know. How do I tell him that I want to date one of his players?”

And that’s the one and only second you regret saying anything at all. Nolan's face moves from a slight worried smile, to a full blown smirk, confidence rolling off him in waves, and it’s worth all the chirping. Because he finally looks like he should after a win.

“You want to date me?”

You don’t want to smile, but when he wiggles his brows excessively, while getting closer to you, you can’t help it.

“Fuckin’ yes, okay? I’m sorry it took me so long to realize, Nols.”

He chuckles and wraps you up in his arms, and you positively melt right there. His arms around your shoulders and yours around his waist.

“I wanna date you too.”

Nolan mumbles into your ear, his deep voice vibrating through your head.

[cicaklah]

Diana comfort-riding 47 on a plane/train seat after a mission gone wrong

They exfil in a haul of bullets onto a train seconds before it pulls out of the station. Outside, he can hear angry voices swearing in rough, slangy, misogynistic language, can hear bullets ricocheting uselessly off the thick steel and hard bangs as the thugs impotently bang on the walls.

Diana is vibrating in terror, he can feel her pressed up against him. The blood of their contact is caked on her dress, hidden for now underneath her coat. Her face is pale and her makeup is mostly gone from sweat and how she keeps wiping off imaginary blood spatter.

They had no choice but to finish the mission, they had gone that far. The fates were on his side as he took that shot, and the target crumpled under the heavy chandelier, and it was obvious even from 500 meters that his neck was broken. A tragic accident, but they had already been made. A pity. He had hoped to take her to a restaurant afterwards, where they could toast their success, and then he could do what he'd previously fantasised about, and make love to her in a suite overlooking the sparkling city lights, safe and sound, triumph coursing through their veins.

Not so much now. Their suite will be empty tonight. They will need to jump the train at some point, though there is no stop for two hours, it just gives their enemies a chance to rally forces at the other end.

Diana is on her phone, ordering them tickets to ensure their presence is kosher. It's a sleeper train, but it's not like the old days with cabins and privacy. The seats lean back a bit, but it's just a train. Airline seating, they call it.

He can't bear to leave her looking so pale, but she waves him away to go scope out somewhere to hide. He keeps an eye out for a woman of approximately Diana's dimensions, and lifts her suitcase from the end rack easily through basic deduction, it is black and serviceable, but the luggage tag is in the shape of an apple.

He buys a paltry cold dinner from the buffet car, then lets himself into first class. There's two single seats free, opposite the aisle, semi hidden, but right by the door. It will have to do. He texts Diana, and a few moments later she arrives.

Their seats face each other, and she arrives, takes the suitcase and immediately steps into the bathroom. While she changes and freshens herself up, 47 eats an ice cold sandwich and drinks a warm can of coke, the sugar making him feel human again.

Diana steps out a few minutes later in a slouchy jumper dress, her legs bare and feet clad in socks. "Everything else was clubwear" she says, wrinkling her nose. Poor girl.

"I'm sure if she checks lost and found, they'll have it" he says, and passes Diana her dinner.

The car is quiet. It's 11pm local time, though their body clocks are synced half a world away. Maybe the caffeine was a mistake. The businessmen nearby are asleep.

Diana isn't eating, and she's not even cracked the seal of her drink. "You need to eat", 47 says. "It helps with the shock."

"I know", she says. "I know, logically. Just." She looks so lost.

"Come here." He says, and she steps across the aisle to him. He intends to just hold her, but she straddles his lap and grips him with her thighs, bare under the soft wool dress, and kisses him ferociously, one hand on his jaw, the other groping his cock. He's completely soft for now, but she growls into his mouth and okay, if that's what she wants. It doesn't take much.

"I need this", Diana whispers, undoing his flies and plunging her hand in. She's playing dirty, she knows how to get him going so fast. "Help me", she whispers, and when he puts his hands under her dress he finds she doesn't need much help, already she's naked and soaking, takes two fingers easily.

It doesn't take long for him to be hard enough to scratch diamonds, and Diana shifts herself up and sinks down, sealing her mouth over his so as to steal any sounds for herself.

This is unlike any other time they've had sex. Usually they are alone, they take their time. They talk. He's never had sex in public, on a train. She usually likes to let him set the pace, but not this time. He tries to help, to thrust, but she tsks at him and tells him to stay put, she needs this. She closes her eyes and he watches her take her comfort from him, feels how wet and desperate and wound tight she is. He does his best to help, kisses her neck and slides her clit between the knuckles of his second and middle fingers, feels just how swollen and hyperaroused she is, does his best to press all her buttons at once. She comes quietly, just a tiny sob and an exhalation against his ear, but her body screams it's orgasm, locking tight and shaking so hard he has to hold her close to stop her falling on the rough carpet.

They sit there like that, Diana crying softly in relief against his shoulder, his dick tucked inside her, comfort more than anything, until the automatic lights come on, and the next station announcement chimes over the intercom.

[igotyouniverse]

Breathe Me - Chapter 1 [nct vamp au]

Description: After dropping out of college and coming home for the first time in two years, 22-year-old Ava Lee gets caught up in a mystery surrounding the people she thought she knew for so long. Between friendship, affairs and true love the young women finds herself being pulled into a  nightmare she would never wake up from.

Pairing: Oc x Taeyong , Oc x Johnny [several side-pairing involving Mark, Ten, Lucas and Jaehyun.]

Included Members: Taeyong, Johnny, Mark, Lucas, Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan (maybe more)

Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst, Action, Fantasy

Warnings: none (this chapter)

suggestive content, strong language, violence, blood, death. probably more, not sure yet (later chapters)

a/n: Here it comes! After years of procrestination I finally managed to write the very first (very boring) chapter of my vampire au with nct! Anyway, the main drama will start in the next chapter so stay patient and bear this one with me. It took me long enough, haha. All the warnings will be for later chapters so don't start reading if u dont feel like reading stuff like that qq If someone wants to get tagged please send me a message, ask, comment or whatever qq

I really hope you guys enjoy it, it was a very heavy birth. ♥

ch.2 || ch. 3

                                                   †

The girl sighed deeply and took a look outside the small airplane window. She saw how the plane slowly drove into the prepared parking lot and felt how her level of anxiety rose with each second. Even though the flight was 18 hours long and her legs started to hurt she didn't want to stand up. Standing up meant for her to actually leave the plane, get her luggage and meet her family which would sooner or later lead to them asking all these questions. It wasn't like she didn't miss them.

She missed them very dearly. She missed the Sunday morning brunches with her neighbours, the movie nights where her dad would always pick out a movie because he'd pout if not, she even missed  her little brother Mark bursting into her room without knocking and asking her some totally stupid questions. She missed catching up with her best friend. She missed all these sleepovers when all they had to worry about was who the cutest boy at school was and what they'll do together once they were adults. She craved for all these past memories. The last time she set foot onto this ground was two years ago at her very first spring break after leaving home, moving to a town thousand of miles away, not knowing anyone.

She heard a beeping noise which indicated that the passengers could stand up and get out but she waited. All of them seemed in such a hurry to leave the plane, grabbing their belongings, everyone trying to get out first which ended in a crowded queue inside of the plane. She stretched her legs as much as possible, not making the slightest move to stand up.

Her eyes wandered back to the window, allowing her to take a glance at the sky, she wished to be into again. It was still quite bright outside, even though it was nearly evening, the sun nearly blinding her when she looked up, leading her to cover her eyes with her hand. The sunsets were so different in the States than here, in South Korea. Her eyes tried to focus on the slowly fading sun, leaving the sky in beautiful pinks and oranges with just a hint of soft white clouds.

Her mind started to spin, thinking about all the things she had to explain to her family sooner or later. But for now she needed to stay positive and hide the fact that she – the oh-so-perfect – student managed to drop out of a university, her parents nearly went insolvent to pay for to allow their daughter to get the best medical education they could think of. At the beginning the girl actually thought that it was her biggest dream to become a famous surgeon but after a short while she had to face the ugly truth that the job she so desperately wanted to do as long as she could remember just wasn't her thing.

She tried so badly to keep on and thought that it's just a phase every young adult went through when they started university but every time she talked to her friends at university she saw that that wasn't exactly the case. Everyone was so focused and motivated to become a successful doctor or surgeon they underwent the torture of endless sleepless nights, insane pressure and the feeling of not being able to even cut an onion correctly, which the professor didn't even care to make better. Every day she got told that she would never be able to work in the medical field and could try herself with some more basic and easy studies. It didn't matter how hard she tried to remember all the lectures and do her assignments – she failed miserably at everything.

Of course, her family didn't know. She was way too afraid to burst the bubble her parents created around her, leaving her in that perfect, white spotlight, portraying her like some sort of angel on a pedestal for everyone to see. They loved to talk about her in front of everyone, telling them that she'd be a successful surgeon, working hard and publishing groundbreaking articles, making herself a name in the medical community. Maybe even getting some famous award. Everyone in that small town knew about the smart daughter who got into one of the best medical universities in the United States, who worked so hard she was barely home.

She couldn't bear to see the disappointment on their faces once they see what she really was – a failure. She managed to hide her dropping out of university so well, she created her web of lies carefully over the last year, she sometimes even believed what she was saying. But as soon as her alarm clock went off, remembering her to go to work at a small corner café to pay her rent and even save some money in case her parents might throw her out, she had to face real life again. The life in which she dropped out only one year after starting, loosing hundreds of thousands of dollars and leaving the incident in her resume forever.

She was glad she got a job in the café as it belonged to the parents of one friend she met at college, who managed to get in because of a scholarship. They allowed her to work as much as she could to save money and even helped her sometimes.

“Excuse me, Miss?”, a soft and gentle voice made the girl leave her deep thoughts and look up. A beautiful, young flight attendant smiled down at her. “You need to leave the plane, please.”, she said in sweet yet demanding voice  and got her luggage out of the cabinet above for her. The girl didn't realise that the plane was already as good as empty. She thanked the attendant, grabbed her bag and went out of the plane into the airport, feeling her legs shaking more with each step she took.

She pulled out her smartphone, turning off flight mode only to get bombarded with dozens of messages, mostly from her mom asking if she already landed and that they waited for her at the gate. After that she only texted emojis. Hearts, heart-eyes and some other stuff which made her feel even more anxious. How could she disappoint a mother as proud as her? No, she needed to keep her secret for a bit longer. Maybe until her brother messed up. But what could he possibly mess up which would overshadow her dropping out of college? Maybe if he committed a crime.

Mark was different from her, She didn't know how but he actually managed to tell their parents that he doesn't want to become a doctor or lawyer, and instead insisted of becoming an author or journalist. To say her parents were unhappy would be an understatement. They were more than angry and told him to pay the tuition himself. They believed it was just a small teenage dream he had but when he finished High School and started working at the local bookstore to save some money to actually study creative writing they realized that he was serious. That small incident happened just 14 months ago, yet he continued to work there and save up. He even managed to visit her every couple of months, as she didn't want to come.

When she arrived at the luggage claim the suitcases were already out on the baggage belt and she waited as long as she could, watching her lonely suitcase making its turns on the device, purposely ignoring it until it was the only one left and she had to grab it. Her phone vibrated in her pocket again.

Mark [06.07pm]: Where r u?

She rolled her eyes and just put it back in the pocket of her jeans as she headed towards the exit. The girl took a deep breath, putting on the brightest smile she could manage and stepped out of the doors. Her family wasn't hard to notice. Her parents held a way too big and bright  banner in their hands

WELCOME HOME AVA

Ava tried to keep her smile up and waved at them. “Oh, honey welcome home!”, her mother shouted as she lowered the banner to hug her daughter tightly. “I'm so happy you're finally home again, our doctor!.”, she said and patted her back softly. She felt her dad joining the hug and giving her a warm smile as well, joining her mother in telling her how happy he was to have her back home. Ava clenched her jaw, trying to smile as honest as possible.

“You're really squishing me to death guys.”, Ava chuckled and was glad when her parents finally let go of her. She looked up and saw her brother Mark smiling at her.

“Come on, give your favourite sister a hug.”, the girl laughed, making her brother chuckle before embracing her in a loving hug as well. The last time she saw him he visited the campus a few months ago. Of course he didn't know she dropped out then and nearly choked on his water when she told him. She knew he wouldn't tell their parents but he thought it would be better if she told their parents as soon as possible, which she didn't of course.

“Happy to have you back.”, Mark said and squeezed his sister one more time before he let her go and took her suitcase.

Ava stretched her body slowly before getting into their car, really not wanting to sit down for another hour but apparently she had to. As soon as she sat down and put on her seat belt her mother turned around to look at her and smiled.

“Tell us, honey, how is Stanford? Is it going well, yes?”, she asked and Ava felt like she needed to throw up.

“Yeah, everything is fine. I handed in all assignments last week and I have a good feeling.”, she chuckled and felt guilt crawling all over her body. She smiled slightly and turned her eyes away to avoid her mother proud gaze, yet she could feel Mark eyeing her.

“Ah, that's so great, honey. Your father and I just talked to the Lee's from across the street and they told us their son wants to apply to Stanford, too. We told them you could talk to him and give some advice.”

“Sure.”, she just sighed and pulled out her phone again, hoping her mother would understand her silent plead to leave her be. Her mother smiled again and turned back to talk to her father about what she'd make for dinner on this special occasion.

Ava checked the other texts she got, scrolling through them. She smiled when she saw a text from her best friend, sending her a picture from her in her nurse uniform. She looked so cute, proudly standing in front of the mirror in the dressing room, posing with a finger heart.

[Ava 06.54pm] Cute! Just landed, on my way home. Wanna hang out later?

[Yunmi 06.57pm] Can't. Night shift today but pick me up tomorrow morning and get breakfast? The café next to the bookstore finally opened!

[Ava 07.00pm] absolutely! Can't wait. Miss you so much ♥

She scrolled through the remaining texts just to feel a little disappointment in her body after not seeing what she so desperately wanted to see. But then again, she didn't expect to see a text from him after he ignored each and everyone of hers the last two years. He didn't even care enough to wish her a happy birthday in November so he probably couldn't care less texting her when she came home.

She sighed lightly and looked outside the car window, seeing how the landscape came and go in front of her eyes and how the sky got all these beautiful colours in it, she could even see the moon already. A wave of tiredness crashed over her exhausted body as she decided to close her eyes for just  a moment.

The girl felt someone poking her arm multiple times, calling her name.

“Wake up, we're home.”, she heard Mark say and groaned, before rubbing her eyes.

“Yes, I'm awake, you can stop poking me.”, she said when her brother continued to poke her arm with a grin on his face.

“Don't make me hit you.”, she warned and slapped his hand away.

“Pff, please.” he answered mockingly and jumped out of the car before her fist could reached his body.

Ava chuckled , getting out of the car stretching her stiff body slowly, hearing all her joints crack at once.

“How old are you? 80?” Mark said teasingly, getting out her suitcase from the trunk.

“Trust me, I feel like it.”, she yawned loudly and slowly got up the stairs to their house.

She inhaled the sweet and calming scent of her mothers vanilla candles as soon as she set foot into the house, taking of her shoes before she walked further inside. It hasn't changed a bit. The beige coloured walls still had pictures of the family on them. Ava smiled and looked at the picture of her and her family from her Highschool graduation three years ago. She smiled when she saw the exact picture her parents had chosen. Mark and her making some weird pose while her parents rolled their eyes.

“Honey, dinner will be ready in half-an-hour, okay?” she didn't realize that her mother was standing right next to her and flinched a bit.

“Yeah, sure, thank you, mom. I'll start to unpack then. Love you.”, Ava said, kissing her mothers cheek softly before going up the stairs into her old room where Mark already put her suitcase and bag.

Her room hasn't changed either. Of course, it looked a bit colder as she took all her personal stuff with her to the US when she moved out, but it still felt comfy with it's cozy beige sofa and her queen sized bed, which her mother already prepared for her. She closed the door behind her and looked outside the big windows, which connected to a small balcony, which was only hers. She remembered how mad Mark was when she got the room with the balcony and not him and grinned. She stepped outside for a moment to breathe in the still warm air, listening to the rustling sound of the trees as a mild breeze blew through them.

The small wooden bench she made herself with her dad back when she was younger still stood in the very same corner and even had pillows on it and a blanket, indicating that someone still used it even while she was gone. Probably her mother when she wanted to have some time and space for herself, she thought and smiled before going back into her room.

She stretched her stiff body once again before squatting down and opening her black suitcase to unpack her things. Ava only brought some clothes and other necessities with her as she didn't believe of staying home for a longer period of time. She rented her tiny apartment, or as she preferred to call it, her shoebox to a friend from university who looked for her own place as long as she stayed with her parents so she didn't need to worry about paying rent. So she just packed her essentials and hoped to keep her pretty little lie for some more months to figure out what she actually wanted to do with her situation now. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to stay in Stanford . She just knew, she didn't want to stay here in this tiny town where everyone knows everyone.

She loved the size of New York, she loved the vibes, the people and even the stink it had. It was charming in some kind of way and she enjoyed the anonymity she had. She liked living in the famous city which never sleeps but it didn't feel like a complete home to her yet and maybe never would. Not to mention, that she was just working in a café which was barely enough to live so she needed to get something more permanent very soon. But she had no idea what that could be. Maybe she'd apply to another university, maybe she didn't want to go to college at all. But what were her options anyway?

Ava groaned, throwing a stack of clothes into her closet in frustration, before squatting down again to fold them neatly. She felt her phone vibrating in the pocket of her jeans and sighed when she saw the name of the person who messaged her blinking in front of her. She opened it and thought about her answer for several minutes before she decided to ignore it for the moment and maybe get back to it later, unsure about her wanting to meet the sender or not.

She furrowed her eyes as she looked at the clock hanging at one of her walls, showing that it was way later than she expected and her mother still hadn't called for dinner yet. She put the last of her belongings in the connected bathroom she shared with her brother and checked her phone to make sure she didn't receive a text from him telling her dinner is ready. Ava didn't realize how hungry she was until she thought about the dishes her mother was probably busy making and her mouth started to water. She really missed good Korean food. There were quite some Korean restaurants in New York but of course nothing tasted as good as her mother's home cooked meals.

Just as she wanted to open her door and check downstairs she heard her mother shout from the kitchen that dinner was finally ready. She opened her door and could already smell the kimchi and meat her mother apparently made and couldn't wait to finally taste it.

“Coming! I'm getting Mark”, Ava shouted back and wanted to knock on Marks door, telling him to come down but the boy who opened the door wasn't her brother.

“Oh, hey Ava. Haven't seen you in forever. How are you?”, Johnny asked, seemingly surprised but a small smile appeared on his pretty face.

He hasn't changed a tiny bit. He still looked as gorgeous as three years ago when she left and never heard of him again. His hair was still black but a tad longer than before. It framed the contours of his face just perfectly which made it hard for her to look away and think about how she was mad at him for ignoring her for the past years, even though the last thing she remembered with him was actually something very nice. Or that's at least what she thought it was. Apparently he thought differently and had to treat her like air. Not even daring to step a foot in their house when she came home for spring break once.

“Umm, fine. Are you staying for dinner?”, she asked, trying to sound as calm as possible but she couldn't hide a tint of anger in her voice, yet the anger mixed up with other feelings she was way too bad at hiding.

“Yeah, I invited him. He basically lives here anyway.”, she heard Mark say behind Johnny who didn't seem to sense her displeasure over his invitation. Why do they have to be best friends? She asked herself and secretly hoped for Johnny to disappear or something. But of course that wouldnÄt happen.

“Please, the food gets cold, come down.”, she heard her mother saying from the foot of the stairs with her hands stemmed in her hips, still wearing her red-dotted apron.

“Actually, I'm not hungry.”, Ava said taking a step away from Johnny as his simple presence made her legs feel stupidly weak.

Her statement got quite unbelievable when her stomach started to growl from the heavenly scent of her mother's food.

“Doesn't sound like it.”, Mark said and raised his brow looking at his sister questionably.

“I'm really not hungry and I'm meeting a friend. Can we postpone our family dinner to another time?”, she said while purposely emphasising the term family to show her displeasure about the clearly unwanted guest guest.

Before her mother could answer something Ava ran down the stairs, giving her mother another short kiss before running outside, leaving her house behind.

She took a deep breath before letting out some vulgar curses towards the situation and especially the person causing her to still feel all these things.

Ava pulled out her phone and messaged the only person she could think of, who might get her thoughts somewhere else, even if she might regret it in the morning.

masterlist

[shra-vasti]

MAKES ME WONDER [14/40] The Arrival

→ Synopsis : Your dream to attend a Seventeen concert was finally coming true but you weren't prepared for the events that were going to follow after Joshua made eye contact with you and chose to make you his partner for the mini game and take you out on a date as a winning prize.

→ Genre : fluff, a bit of angst if you squint enough

→ Type : Idol x fan au

→ Word count : 1.2k

→ Taglist : @mngyuheart @vannie24 @uglyratlmao @rjsmochii @dwcljh @noniesgirl @yuriewolfhard @jisungsdreamy @mischeifmakerliesmith5 (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist)

→ Pairing : idol!Joshua x fan!reader

→ Main Seventeen Masterlist 

→ Makes Me Wonder Masterlist 

"I'm sorry Joshua, I know you rarely have free time and I'm doing nothing great by ignoring you from the past couple of days but I'm not doing it on purpose."

Joshua sighed, unable to hide his disappointment this time, he had informed you that his promotions were over and he could talk more with you, but you had been very busy to even talk more than an hour with him and he wondered if this is how you felt whenever he was busy. 

"I know you're not doing it on purpose but I can't help it."

He knew long distance relationships were going to be hard and even harder with the work he had to do and he just now realized that university life wasn't much better and that you were going to be busy sometime around too. 

You were busy with your studies but never too much to ignore him the way you were doing this time around. 

"Joshua, I'm sorry." 

"Don't be, at least I can talk with you now, I hope you aren't too busy now, you seem to have done everything, now talk to me I missed you."

You knew he must be pouting which made you chuckle. 

"Can you text me your address?" 

"Why? You wanna send some surprise gifts to me?" 

You smiled playing with your hair as you thought about it. 

"Kind of, I bet you'll love it."

"Okay I'll send you my address, now tell me how was your day?" 

You frowned knowing you had a lot of packing to do as you thought of the way you could hang up the call. 

"I can't talk with you."

"Why?" 

Even Joshua was shocked at the whine that left his mouth, was he being too childish? But he just missed you so much. 

"Joshua, I'm sorry I've just been too busy and I don't think you'll like what I'm going to say next."

"What?" 

He straightened his back, what was going on inside your mind? He could already feel the heaviness in his heart and stomach. 

"I just wanted to say that I just called you to inform you that I won't be able to call you or text you for the next four days as I have this very important test coming so I may switch off my phone so I don't get distracted, I hope you'll understand."

"Four days without any message or contact? We haven't ever done this before, it's too long at least you could message me you're doing alright and I'll be fine."

"No I can't I'm sorry and by the way you're reacting I think it will be best if I just switch off my phone the entire time."

If this was a joke, Joshua didn't find it funny at all. How was he supposed to not listen to your voice even once before his day ended, was he being too dramatic? But he was already so much attached to you. 

"Fine, do whatever you want to do."

He hung up the call, not giving you a single second to react as he threw his phone on his bed and angrily stomped his leg on the floor. 

"What has gotten into you?" 

Jeonghan eyed Joshua as he passed by his door to go to his own room to rest when he saw Joshua throwing fits inside his room.

"Nothing."

Jeonghan made his way inside Joshua's room and sat down on the mini couch he had. 

"If it's nothing, then why are there so many creases on your face? You had a fight with y/n?" 

Joshua threw him a glare even when he knew Jeonghan wasn't going to be fazed by it even the slightest before sighing and sitting on his bed. 

"We didn't have a fight, she's just busy and I can't help but miss her and now she's saying she can't even talk to me once for another 4 days since he has exams going on."

Jeonghan shook his head giving him a sympathetic look. 

"You need to be understanding with her, she never behaves like this when you are busy."

"But I always made sure to tell her I'm alright."

The glare Jeonghan threw in his direction made him shut up, maybe he was behaving like a child. 

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

You didn't reply or call Joshua after he hung up the call, you did feel awful that you had made him feel like you were ignoring him but him being angry would only mean he would wait for your apology and you would do exactly that when you land in Korea. 

For now you were in your flight. 

You contacted Seokmin and Seungkwan for the dorm address since he forgot to send it to you or was just plainly angry at you and didn't want to give you to the address. 

Either way you got what you wanted and you even had time to get permission from the older members if you could live with them for a few days till you found yourself an apartment to live in. 

They were confused as to why you were looking for an apartment when you could just live with them and then go but they understood when you told them you were here because of the study program. 

They said they would help you find the apartment if you let them do some prank on Joshua and you had no choice but to agree with them. You knew it was Jeonghan's idea to prank him but you didn't exactly know what they were going to do. 

"I just hope everything will go back to normal once I arrive."

You put your headphones on and cover your eyes with your eye mask and drift off to sleep knowing it will take much time for you to land in Korea. 

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

You got your luggage as you waited to hire a cab or taxi outside of the airport when a car pulled up in front of you, the glass of the car was tinted making it hard for you to see who was inside. 

"Welcome to my country."

Your smile widened when the windows rolled down to see Jeonghan smiling up at you before you felt someone take the bags from your hands. 

You turn your head to see Wonwoo taking the bags from your hands and putting it inside the trunk, both of them had their mask and beanies on so no one would recognize them. 

You thanked both of them, opening the car door and slipping in the backseat. 

"I didn't know you would come pick me up."

"We didn't tell you because we wanted to surprise you."

"Thank you so much, it really means a lot."

"Well to be honest…"

Jeonghan started as you leaned forward to listen to what he had to say. 

"Seungcheol Hyung told us to pick you up since you were new here." 

Wonwoo completed his sentence as he turned in your direction from where he was seated on the passenger seat and smiled at you. 

"Oh he did."

You were surprised that he cared enough to ask the members to pick you up. 

"Yes and we wanted to come pick you up too since I personally like you very much."

You chuckled at Jeonghan's remark before leaning on the seat, your jetlag was going to kill you but you knew seeing Joshua's face in person would be worth the jetlag and you could always sleep in his arms and take rest. 

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Seventy-Eight

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

“I don’t care what time it is when you land, call me and let know when you get to your mum’s.”

“I will.”

“You’re sleepin’ there, and then you’re goin’ home tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. And then you’ll FaceTime me so I can see you and Buster?”

“Mhm.”

You were being short because you were trying not to cry. Harry’s eyes were already glossy. You had an amazing week in London with him. You got to spend some more time with Anne. You got to see Mitch and Sarah again. You did a few touristy things. He drove you out to the countryside and you made love in a field. It was all so wonderful. You really didn’t want to leave.

“I wish I could walk you all the way to the gate.”

“Me too.”

You hug for a long time and look up at him.

“I love you.” He says.

“I love you too. See you in a week.” You bite the inside of your cheek.

“Yeah, see you in a week.”

You kiss for a while until a police officer blows his whistle. You jump back and grab the handle of your luggage.

“Bye baby.” He says. You wave and try to smile.

Harry sighs and gets into the car. He bursts into years.

“Please, god, it was bad enough watching you two say goodbye, please don’t tell me you’re goin’ t’cry the entire ride back to your flat.”

“Shut up Gem!” He wipes his eyes.

“It’s a week, Harry! Calm down.”

“I can barely fuckin’ sleep without her, a week is a long time.”

“Do you know how co-dependent that sounds?”

“We’re not co-dependent.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m allowed to miss her. We had a really nice week.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.” She laughs. “Let’s go get that ring.”

Harry and Gemma pull up to the jewelry store where he had ordered your engagement ring…that you still knew nothing about. They go inside and speak to one of the salespeople. A man comes back with the ring a little blue velvet box.

“Blue’s her favorite color.” Harry says to Gemma and she nods.

“Open it up, I’m dyin’ over here.”

Harry slowly opens it and Gemma gasps. It was perfect, and he knew you were going to love it.

“Oh my god, Harry. It’s beautiful, well done.”

It was a thick, white-gold band with a decent size square diamond in the middle. There were two smaller diamonds on either side of the larger one. Harry picks it up to look at the engraving.

“What’s it say?”

“My everything.” He squints at, then smiles at his sister who has tears in her eyes.

“Mum is gonna flip when she sees this.”

“I’ve shown her a picture.”

“I know, but to see it in person…she’s gonna cry for sure.”

Harry puts the ring back in the box and sticks it in his pocket. The two go back to the car and drive to his flat.

“So, when are yeh askin’ her? That thing is gonna burn a whole in your pocket until you do.”

“I was thinkin’ end of September.”

“Harry.” She groans. “Why wait any longer. This whole waiting a year thing is stupid.”

“Our first date was at the beginning of September, so technically I’m not waitin’ til it’s been a year. I didn’t become her boyfriend until October.”

“What if she finds it? Where could hide it? She does all your laundry.”

“I’m gonna leave it locked in my desk at work.”

“Alright, I suppose that’s a good plan. What else do yeh have planned?”

“I’m not tellin’.”

“What? Why not? S’not like I’m gonna tell her.”

“People keep givin’ me suggestions, but I’ve finally figured it out. And I’d like to keep it to myself for as long as I can.”

“You won’t even give me a hint?”

“Nope.”

“You really suck.”

He stings his tongue out at her and she sticks out hers back at him.

“In all seriousness, I’m really happy for you. Mum and I love her, and you two are a great match. I’ve truly never seen yeh so happy, Harry.”

“I’ve never been this happy. I’m glad you and mum love her, it means a lot.” Harry tears up again.

“Oh, Jesus, what now?”

“I just thought of how she might look when she’s walkin’ down the aisle.” Harry sniffles and his voice cracks. “She’ll make a beautiful bride.”

//

“Buster!” You exclaim as you burst through your mom’s door. He comes running towards you and you practically sob. “Mumma missed you so much! Come on let’s call daddy.” You take him into the spare bedroom and get settled. “This’ll be a treat for you to sleep with me tonight, huh?”

You take your phone out and FaceTime Harry. You felt bad because it would be around 4AM there, but he told you to call, so here you were.

“Hello?” He groans. It was dark in his room.

“Turn your light on baby, so we can see you.” You hear him shift and turn the side table light on. “Look, Buster, it’s daddy!” He yips and it makes Harry laugh.

“Hey buddy! Daddy misses you. Daddy misses mummy too.” He winks.

“Ew…don’t do that.” You laugh.

“How was your flight, angel?”

“It was good, I slept for most of it, thank god. Happy to be here with out little boy now.”

“Yeah, I’m glad he’s with his mummy.” You look at each other for a moment.

“Well, you’re one sleep down.”

“Mhm, six more to go.”

“What do you have planned for the rest of the week?”

“More family stuff, hangin’ with friends. Gonna take some pictures for people.”

“You’re working?”

“Only a little, don’t worry.”

“I just want you to enjoy your time away.”

“I will, honey.”

“Okay.” You yawn. “Well, I’ll let you get back to sleep. I just wanted to call like you said.”

“Thank you.” He smiles. “I love you, sweet dreams.”

“Love you too.” You blow him a kiss and hang up. “Okay, Buster, time for bed.”

//

The next morning you have breakfast with your mom and tell her all about your trip. You get Buster in the car and head home. You missed your apartment. You go grocery shopping and meal prep what you’ll need for the rest of the week.

Just as you’re settling on the sofa with some pizza, your phone goes off.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N!”

“What’s up, Seth?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking of you and thought I’d call.”

“You were thinking of me?” Your heart drops into your stomach.

“Yeah…well…not to seem like a creep, but I saw you post your pictures from your trip on Facebook, and saw that you were home. Weather looked great!

“Yeah, it was an amazing trip. Um…why were you thinking of me?”

“You and I were friends once, really good friends. I feel bad that we lost touch after we graduated. I’ve loved seeing you and the girls this summer…it would be nice to hang out without a party and booze though, don’t you think?”

It was true, Seth was one of your best guy friends. You’d be lying if you hadn’t thought of him from time to time. But you’ve rarely thought of another man while being with Harry.

“I suppose that would be nice.”

“Do you think we could meet up for coffee or something sometime?”

“Coffee?”

“Yeah…just as friends, obviously. I’m not trying to cause any issues with your boyfriend.”

“Um…not that I need his permission, but I’d have to ask how he’d feel about that.”

“Really, why? He knows we’re friends.”

“But he also knows that we’ve been more than friends…”

“He does?!”

“Yeah, it sort of came up after your Memorial Day party…”

“He just seemed so chill on the fourth, I didn’t think he knew.”

“He was on his best behavior that day. I just don’t know if he’d appreciate it…but I’ll ask.”

“I really don’t wan to cause any problems.”

“That’s sweet of you to say. I think coffee would be fine, I just don’t want to say yes until I talk to him.”

“Okay, that’s fair. Just text me and let me know.”

“Sounds good…thanks for calling.”

“Sure.”

You hang up and take a deep breath.

//

“I’m way too tired and drunk to walk you across campus.” Seth says, turning the TV off. “Wanna just crash in my room?”

“Yeah, that could work.” You smile as he helps you up off the floor. You tried not to sound too eager.

You follow him upstairs to his room, a room you had been in many times before, but had never slept in it. He closes the door behind you. Seth had the best room in the house because it had a bathroom attached to it.

“Want something to change into?”

“Sure!”

“Here.”

He tosses you a clean pair of plaid boxers and a t-shirt. You go into his bathroom to change. When you come back out your eyes trail up and down his body. He turns around and smiles.

“You don’t mind if I don’t wear a shirt do you?”

“Nope, your room, your rules.” He laughs and gets on the bed. You join him, not feeling nervous at all. You and Seth had cuddled before, it wasn’t weird that you were with him on his bed. “I’ll turn the TV on for a bit.”

“Thanks”

He throws an arm around you as you settle in. Eventually you both fall asleep. He woke up in the middle of the night to the TV and turns it off. You were fast asleep. He smiles and wraps himself around you, holding you close. Seth adored you, not that he would ever say that out loud.

When the sunlight of the room hit your face, you woke up. You turned over and saw Seth on his side facing you, scrolling through his phone. He looks up at you and smiles.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hi.”

“Sleep alright?”

“Mhm. Comfy bed.”

He puts his phone on his night table and moves a little closer to you. He brushes some hair out of your face.

“You’re…really pretty.” Your cheeks flush. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Don’t think so, but thanks.” You smile. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Always.”

“I stayed late here on purpose last night so you’d invite me upstairs.”

“Can I tell you secret?” You nod. “I know.”

“What?” You giggle. “How?”

“I’ve seen you do it before, very clever.”

“Seth, I have a huge crush on you, and I have for a while.”

“I have a crush on you too.” His hand moves to rub your arm. “But Sarah…”

“Is with Ben, and said it was okay.”

“Really, you’ve spoken with her?”

“We talk about everything.”

“So what you’re saying is if I kissed you right now it would be alright?”

“More than alright.” You lick your lips and move closer so your noses were touching.

He cups your cheek and leans in. Your lips brush and he kisses you. You both smile against each other giggle. You roll onto your back and he moves tot hover over you. He kisses you again, neither of you really caring about the morning breath, and his tongue swipes over your bottom lip. You wrap your legs around him to pull him closer to you, his morning wood pressing into you. You moan against him.

“I want you.” You whisper.

You were insanely attracted to Seth. From his nail polish, to his tattoos, to his piercings.He had so many things that just turned you on. Not to mention that he was just straight up handsome and sweet.

“I want you, too.” He smiles. “So bad.”

He kisses down your neck and tugs at the hem of the shirt he let you borrow. He lifts it up over your head and grins when he sees your nipple piercings.

“I remember when you guys got these.” He tweaks them a little and you groan. “Nice of you to finally show me.”

Just as he wraps his lips around one of them his door flies open, and you cling to him to cover yourself.

“Max! Get the fuck out of here!”

“Sorry! I needed my…Y/N?!”

“Hey.” You say. “Could you, uh, leave?”

“Sorry!”

He leaves quickly and you both start laughing.

“That door lock?”

“Yeah.”

“Go lock it.”

He gets up and locks the door and practically jumps back on the bed.

“You sure this how you want it to go down?” He asks as he kisses down your chest, dipping his hand inside the boxers he let you borrow.

“Yes, want you so bad. Please, fuck me.”

Seth tugs down his own boxers and your eyes nearly pop out of your head.

“Holy shit.” You say under your breath, but he hears you and smirks.

He gets your boxers off and tosses them to the floor. You spread your legs apart for him and he bites his lip. You reach for him and line him up with your center.

“Please, we can do all the fun foreplay stuff another time. I want you, this, right now.”

“Okay, let me just, uh, grab a condom, yeah?”

“Mhm.”

He reaches into his bedside table and retrieves the foil packet.

“Can I put it on you?”

“Yeah.” He smiles and hands it to you. “Just when I didn’t think you could get any cooler.”

“Shut up.” You laugh and roll the condom on his long, thick length.

He presses his tip against you and slowly starts to push in. A tear rolls down your cheek as he stretches you out.

“Alright?”

“Yeah, just, you’re really big.” You both giggle. “I just need a second to adjust.”

He leans in to kiss you and nips at your jaw to your ear.

“Take your time.” He whispers. “I’ve got all day.”

//

“Shit.” You say to yourself. “Daddy’s not gonna be happy, Buster. But what can I do? Coffee can’t hurt right?” He yips at you. You call Harry and he answers on the second ring.

“Hey, lovie.” You giggle at the term.

“Hi dolly.”

“What’s up?” He was in such a good mood, you didn’t want to sour it.

“Um, well, I have a question.”

“Okay.”

“Seth called me today…”

“Go on.”

“He wants to get coffee with me sometime soon, but…I told him I had to ask you first before I said yes or no.”

“That makes me sound a little psycho, doesn’t it?”

“He even said he didn’t want to cause trouble, I just…I…didn’t want to say yes or no before I spoke with you.”

“Do you want to have coffee with him? I mean, what’s the point?”

“Well, we used to be really good friends, and you know how it is after you graduate, you can’t stay in touch with everyone. I’d like to catch up with him one on one, without any alcohol…”

“Can you go to a place that’s dog friendly?”

“Sure! Plenty of places have outdoor seating right now.”

“Will you call me right after?”

“I don’t even know if it’s happening this week, but if it does, then yes.”

“I’m fine with it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…I really appreciate you calling and asking first. It means a lot to me.”

“I just didn’t want to keep something from you.”

“Thanks, babe.”

You and Harry talk more about how his day is going before you hang up to text Seth.

//

“You’re havin’ coffee after work with your ex, and Harry’s okay with it?” Niall asks you the next day at work.

“First of all, he’s not my ex, and second of all, yes, Harry’s fine with it.”

“He’s an ex lover, Y/N.”

“Don’t you have to be in love for someone to be your lover? I mean Harry’s my lover if anything. Seth…I was never in love with.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“Buster’s coming with me, so I’ll have a chaperone. I’m going to be in my work clothes, so it’s not like I look sexy.” Niall crosses his arms and looks at you. “How is this sexy?! My chest is covered and this comes to my knees.”

“You’re a cute girl wearin’ a tight dress. It’s sexy.” You swat an arm at him.

“It’s just coffee.”

“I think you’re playin’ with fire.”

“I haven’t thought about him like that in years. If I really wanted him I would’ve been his girlfriend.”

“But you’re both grown now. You could-“

“Niall, please. I called my boyfriend and essentially asked his permission to see an old friend. It’s no big deal. It’s just coffee. It’s not like we’re having dinner and drinks.”

“Will you please text me when you get home?”

“Sure.”

//

You laid there with a huge smile on your face after you were done. It was the best sex you ever had. You were cuddled up with him. He was smiling too.

“That was fun.” He says. “You’re fun.”

“I’ve always been fun.”

“But that was like extra fun.” He kisses the top of your head. “What happens next?”

“You become my number one booty call, and you drop everything for me every time I wanna hook up.”

“You know what? That seams really fair.” You both laugh.

“In all seriousness, what do you want to have happen next?”

“I don’t know, I know I definitely wanna fuck you again.”

“Mm, me too.”

“I also know I don’t really want a girlfriend right now…is that mean to say?”

“No, it’s not mean.” You sigh. “In all honesty I don’t want a boyfriend. I really like being friends with you, I’m just really attracted to you.”

“So what we’re talking about his friends with benefits.”

“I guess so. Are you good with that?”

“I’m very good with that.”

“Good.”

//

You meet Seth outside a local coffee shop with Buster at your side after work. You two hug lightly, and go inside to order your drinks. You decide to split a scone, and find a table outside to sit at.

“You look so…professional.” He laughs.

“So do you! A button up and a tie? I’m shocked.”

“Hey, tablets don’t sell themselves.”

“Let me ask you something. Do your clients get thrown off at all when they see the lip piercing?” You giggle.

“Actually, it works in my favor quite a bit. It really shows that I’m comfortable with myself. As do the knuckle tattoos. Turns out my parents were wrong.” He laughs. “It also helps that I’m incredibly charming.”

“And a little narcissistic.” You sip on your iced decaf and break off a piece of scone to pop into your mouth.

“So, how long have you been with Harry, spill all the tea.”

“I gave you plenty to sip on at Memorial Day.”

“You showed me a picture of him and that was about it. Then you bring him to the fourth, and just happens to share a shocking resemblance to me.” He smirks and your jaw drops as you scoff.

“He looks nothing like you! First of all, his skin is tan, his eyes are green not hazel, big fucking difference-“

“His nails are painted, he has a ton of tattoos-“

“His tongue’s not pierced.” You cross your arms and smirk. “He doesn’t need the extra help.”

“Really, we’re just diving right into that, huh? I’ll have you know I took that out years ago.” He sticks his tongue out at you. “And as I recall you didn’t have much to say about it back then. Well you did, but they were mostly you moaning my name so…” He smiles at you and you shake your head.

“Is this why you wanted to get coffee with me? To go down memory lane?”

“No.” He scoffs. “I genuinely miss my friend.”

“And you just realized this because?”

“What do you mean?”

“Seth…”

“Okay, okay. You guys come to my parties every year, and I’ve either been dating someone or you have…”

“And I’m still dating someone.”

“That’s not what I meant. I think it’s stupid to not be friends with someone just because they have a significant other. I miss you, I’ve missed you for a long time.”

“Just me?”

“No, Rachel and Sarah too…but you and I were always closer and you know it.”

“That’s true.”

“Do you miss me?”

“In all honesty…I feel like I blocked you out of my mind. I’ve gone through a lot since graduation Seth.” He nods. “I know that sounds harsh.”

“It’s okay.” He takes a sip of his drink. “So, how did you and Harry meet?” He smiles.

“My friend Niall…Sarah’s now boyfriend, set us up.”

“Love at first sight?”

“Essentially…I mean we had one date one weekend and the next weekend we had like three more dates. He swept me off my feet.” Seth takes a bite of the scone. “He really loves me.”

“I could tell, just from the way he was looking at you. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks.” You smile. “No girls trying to scoop you up?”

“I’m in between girls at the moment…I, uh, sometimes date men.” He looks down and blushes. You grab his hand and squeeze it. He looks back up at you. “I’m bi.”

“Oh, Seth. Thank you for telling me. When did you realize?”

“After we graduated. I think I’ve always sort of known, but just never put two and two together. There was this guy I talked to at a bar one night, and one things led to another…”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. So I’ve dated some women, and some men. I can’t really figure out what I want.”

“Well, you’re only twenty-four…you have a lot of time. Do your parents know?”

“Yeah, my whole family does. There was a guy I dated for a while so I eventually brought him home to meet them. They were cool with it. My parents are from Vermont, they’re traditional but love the gays.” You burst out laughing and so does he. “I’m just sort fluid, you know? I like who I like, and I’ve just learned to go with the flow.”

“That’s really cool, Seth. I’m happy you’ve discovered these things about yourself. Not be pushy, but I do know a very nice young man that works for Harry who happens to be single and a confirmed gay.”

“Wouldn’t that be weird? You setting me up?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “It’s not like we have feelings for each other…right?”

“I mean to be honest if you were single I’d totally jump your bones, but I don’t think that feeling will ever go away.” He chuckles. “We had some pretty hot sex back in the day. But, no, there’s no feelings.”

“I forgot how blunt you can be, Jesus.” You take a sip of your drink. “Harry owns his own studio, you could come by some time and I can introduce you to Isaac.”

“Isaac, aw, that’s a cute name.”

“I have a picture from him, do you wanna see?”

“Sure, why not?”

You pull up a picture of Isaac on your phone from the studio opening and show Seth. His eyes grow wide.

“Oh wow…he’s adorable.”

“So adorable! And I know he thinks Harry’s cute, so he’d think you’re cute too.”

“Oh, so this is you admitting that we’re the same person?”

“You have very similar qualities, but you are not the same.”

“Relax, I’m just teasing. You know what? Fuck it. I trust you. Oh! Then we could go on double dates!”

“Oh my god, you read my mind!” You squeal. “I can’t wait to tell Harry.”

“I’m sure he’ll be relieved I’m not a threat.”

“You weren’t before.”

“Mhm, sure.” He sips his drink. “I’m really glad we did this.”

“Me too.”

Seth walks you to your car and hugs you goodbye. You text Niall when you get home and immediately call Harry.

“Hey! Weird question, but Isaac is confirmed single right?”

“Uh, yeah, why?”

“I wanna set him up with Seth.”

“I’m…gonna need a little bit of context here.”

[edgeofmyniall]

eight: love lies

story page | taglist | playlist | thoughts 

“I see you're focused, yeah you're so independent (independent. It's hard for me to open up, I'll admit it (I'll admit it). You've got some shit to say and I'm here to listen. So baby, tell me where your love lies.”

The week-long vacation was a dream… or more like a dream like state to Ginger. It was heaven on earth and she never wanted it to end. The rolling in the sheets routine was only broken for food and sightseeing. The couple had visited the cave once again before leaving, and as the waves crashed against the shore, the couple intensified their kiss- broadening their relationship horizon. It was satisfying in all ways that a vacation could be. Ginger felt well-rested despite the little sleep she actually got. Niall felt at peace with their relationship, and the couple was in paradise.

Until it came time to leave.

“Mully wants us to have dinner with everyone tonight.” 

The two were standing in the terminal waiting to board the plane when Niall suddenly spoke in the quiet ease. Ginger turned to him, fear flashing across her reddened face and she felt her stomach drop. Back to reality, back to judgement, and back to face the warpath of Stella.

“Everyone?” GInger slowly spelled out the word like poisonous vomit. The thought of being around her cousin made her sick. She couldn’t face the looks, the silence, the snide remarks to other people. She would rather die than be around her cousin right now. The worried look carried over her body as Ginger turned back around. She began to bite the inside of her mouth as the jet landed on the runway. Niall resting his hand on the dip of her back soothed her worry- “Don’t ya worry ‘bout a thing, babe.”

~~~~

The plane ride lasted for eternity-seeming as if they would in the air, floating through time and space forever. But when the wheels hit the pavement, the quiet torture vanished. Niall gave Ginger a hopeful smile before letting her exit the jet first. But despite the reassuring looks and words, Ginger felt sick- her throat was dry and her stomach was in knots. She still needed more time to find the words to tell Stella. She still needed to heal.

The two of them hardly spoke as Niall navigated through the traffic. He thumbed the steering wheel to the beat of the music, but GInger knew that was his way of keeping his nerves at bay. He was unsure too- unsure of how tonight would go, unsure of what was to come after dinner, and unsure if Ginger would still be his when they made their way home afterwards. Ginger kissed Niall quickly on the cheek as they carried their luggage inside Niall’s home. She wanted a few moments to herself- to think, to practice her words.

The hot water had already begun to steam up the bathroom and shower doors. She stripped off her gym shorts and t-shirt and threw them on the counter. Her curls began to soften under the warm liquid and as she closed her eyes, her mind eased. When Niall mentioned the plans for tonight, Ginger’s brain went into overdrive. The army of anxiety stood attention for anything that could be about Stella. She awaited for her cousin’s response in the group text. Because deep down in the fortress of Ginger’s mind, she wasn’t ready to face anything. The looks on their friends’ faces and the awkward small-talk that would ensue at dinner was something that she dreaded. She wanted nothing more than to crawl inside herself and hide. She was, at this moment, a coward.

She needed to be brave; brave for herself, brave for Niall, and brave for their relationship. But reaching within herself to find that bravery, to find that hero that she needed to be, there was nothing. There was no lioness clawing to burst out, there was no superhero ready to fly and swoop in to save the day, there was just Ginger, completely and utterly naked in the shower. She felt tears billowing up, but she swallowed them down and once again, prepared herself for the slander to come.

What she didn’t expect was for Niall to walk into the shower with her. She didn’t anticipate for him to neatly fold his clothes on the counter and to open the glass door to the small space. Ginger stood with her arms crossed over her chest, pushing her breasts against her body as she blinked wildly at Niall.

“There’s a drought, Gin. Gotta save water,” his voice echoed against the brown tiled walls. She smiled into the corner of her mouth and moved out of the way for Niall. The shower was roomy, big enough for two people, but she felt claustrophobic in the space she shared with him- completely opposite from twenty-four hours prior.

Niall turns under the water, shampooing his wavy brown hair when he looks at Ginger. “You okay? You haven’t said anything since the plane ride…”

Ginger slouches against the cold wall, her normal frame full of life was now sloped in worry. “Can I be frank with you?” her voice barely audible.

“As long as I can still be Niall,” the man washes the soap from his hair after closing his eyes. Ginger rolled her eyes and huffed. Now wasn’t the time for jokes.

“What do you think Stella will do tonight?” Ginger holds her frame in her grasp as she watches Niall groan over the name of Stella. He closes his eyes and breathes deep before responding.

“I don’t want to talk about Stella. Or what she thinks. Or what the group thinks,” Niall steps closer to Ginger, the undefined water sloshing around his feet, and Ginger makes a mental note to remind Niall to fix the draining. “If they can’t see that I’m...we’re happy, then they aren’t our friends, got it?” Niall places his hands on the wall on either side of Ginger’s wet head. She’s cold from the deprived hot water and as she begins to shake, she looks into Niall’s blue eyes, and they remind her of the cave they found in Hawaii.

Niall leans in to kiss Ginger, and she lets him. She lets him roll his tongue over hers as she finally breaks her body armor of her own guilt by folding her arms around Niall’s neck. She lets the kiss deepen and she lets the moans fall out of her throat because the way Niall touches her body- the way his fingers feel circling her clit, the way his hips feel as he pins her against the slippery wall, the way she feels when she’s with him, is intoxicating and she knows now that’s she’s an addict of one Niall Horan.

His dick grows hard against the soft thighs of Ginger. His thoughts are on her stiffening nipples, her shaking body, and the pink lips he wants to taste. His lips move to her neck, sucking and nipping at her skin. He swirled his tongue around the inevitable bite mark he must have left. Her fingers run through his hair, pulling at it when he flicks her nipple with his finger. Her chest conclaves as she breathes in deep and he smiles into her skin. He wants her.

Niall straightens up and devilishly smiles at the woman standing before him, all but gasping for air. His finger circles in the air slowly and as Ginger turns around, Niall grabs her hips and they walk backwards slightly. He reaches down her leg and scratches her skin until she hiccups through the small amount of pain. He rested his chin on her shoulder before saying, “Bend over.”

The curve of her ass is in the air. Ginger arches her back as she braces her hands on the wall. She’s never had shower sex, but this isn’t how she thought it would go. She thought Niall might lift her up and fuck her against the wall, knocking down the toiletries all over the place. But those kinds of things happen only in movies and Ginger went with the flow.

Niall steadied himself and before entering Ginger, he licked his bottom lip and moaned at the sweet pink cunt staring at him. Her insides felt like they were floating, like riding a roller coaster when the big drop happens and the stomach flies for a fleeting moment. It was as if her body wanted to fly, but Niall holding her against the wall was holding her down. 

His thrust was gentle as he grasped Ginger’s hips, feeling her ass bounce against his body. “God…” He thrusted again, this time harder. His dick was throbbing already inside of her.

Ginger found her rhythm as Niall’s thrusting became quicker and the breathing became harder. Her breasts sway against the rhythm of the two and she cries out as her body tenses. She played with her nipples, thinking of Niall’s plump lips on them. She wanted to ride his face until she came inside his mouth so she rolled her hips thinking of the lingering touch Niall leaves on her skin. She places her finger around her clit and begins to circle. A low hum building inside of the pit of her stomach. Her legs begin to shake as Niall rolls his hips deep inside her. She screams out his name as her pussy throbs against his dick and the budding electricity flows out of her.

Niall pulls out and kisses Ginger on the shoulder as she straightens up. She catches her breath and turns around to see Niall finishing up in the shower

“What about you?” the worried look on Ginger’s face causes Niall to smile.

“I’ll get mine later,” he winks and walks out of the shower.

~~~~~

“Remember, just breathe. We’re in this together,” Niall squeezes Ginger’s hand as they enter Providence, the only seafood joint that Emma will eat at. Mully had reserved the group’s table on the upstairs terrace where hardly any other patron would be. Which in Ginger’s case, was exactly where she didn’t want to be.

Climbing the stairs was a mental challenge. Ginger wanted to run away. She wanted to cower inside her jean jacket and never come out until Stella left. She wanted to throw herself into outer space. She wanted to mentally die.

But with Niall pulling her up the stairs, she found a confidence she never knew she had. She felt braver and stronger. She felt like a fighter. Because to stand by Niall’s side and be vulnerable like this in front of their friends would be something monumental. And Ginger would fight anyone who stood in their way. But when they had finished their climb, her courage had vanished as quickly as it appeared.

Standing behind Niall, Ginger felt the heat from Stella’s glare as she sipped on her wine. If looks could kill, she and Niall would be dead at the doorway. Still, hand in hand they walked to their appointed seats at the very end of the table. How Ginger has sat at the head of the table she wouldn’t ever know, but there she sat, meekly, directly in front of her cousin

“Finally you two come back to earth. No notes, no calls. Thought ya done run away,” Mully jokes as he sits back down from embracing Niall. Ginger smiles softly as Niall looks at her and gently squeezes her knee.

“Yeah well,” Nial looks at the group of guys before him, and rubs the nape of his sunburnt neck, “we both needed a holiday…” Ginger looks over the menu, forcing herself to stay quiet and out of conversation. She still feels the burning look of Stella, but Ginger sits straight and holds her head high. The hum of conversation begins to quiet as Ginger feels her heart beat rapidly. Everything begins to blur out, even the words on the printed page, until Deo touches Ginger’s elbow.

“Niall told me,” his face scrunches up into a reassuring smile, “I’m happy for ya because let’s be honest, you two have been pinning for each other since ya met and I for one-“

“Deo,” Stella cuts off Niall’s cousin before he could continue. Ginger looks up over the menu; Stella hardly ever talked to him unless forced to. “Why don’t you tell me about that new car you just bought, yeah?” Stella’s brows wiggle up and her eyes go wide awaiting an answer. Rep clears his throat and looks back at Ginger before speaking. All participants at the table had gone silent as Stella continued to stare at Ginger in hatred. “So that means you have enough room for anyone to ride with you?”

“Yeah I guess,” Deo looks at Niall in a cry for help.

“You can have as many bitches as you want in there, huh? Even home-wreckers.”

“Well…”

“Stella,” Niall’s voice booms over Deo’s scared one. “Are ya really gonna do this in front of everyone?” his irish accent was thick in anger.

“I can do as I please. Just like you and my cousin did.” When searching for courage, Ginger fell flat. She slunk into her chair as tears welled over onto her cheeks. The heat inside her body began to boil over that even her eyes began to twitch. Her grasp on the menu became tighter so that she wouldn’t say anything. “You two fucked in my bed so I can say-“

The pounding of a fist on the table was enough to shut Stella up and leave the rest of the unit staring at the far end of the table where Ginger had nearly placed her laminated paper.

“We did not have sex in YOUR bed. We didn’t have sex AT ALL until you two broke up for good. Because YOU can’t let anything go. You hold on to it until we’re absolutely miserable. You and your constant need of bullying people into doing what they don’t want to do. You made me come to Los Angeles. You made me buy that house so your credit didn’t get ruined. You pushed me off when I needed someone because you couldn’t, for one moment, think about anybody else but yourself, you dragged me to every party and you knew I liked Niall from the get-go and yet you still rubbed your relationship with him in my face. Exactly what happened with Daniel...

You’ve always known how close we are. How he’s my best friend in the entire world. How I’m closer to him than any one of y’all and yet you have the audacity to call me a home-wrecker and slut. Girl, look in the mirror. You are a narcissistic bitch who didn’t get her way and now you’re pouting like a toddler. If any one of you,” Ginger looks around, tears staining her reddened face. Bravery found her. And in the moment her voice cracked, she had looked over to Niall for confidence. This was her fight and if she were to go down, she would go down swinging. “have a problem that Niall and I are together, you can leave. We,” Ginger holds Niall’s hand and smiles at him. “are manifesting happiness. We’re both happy and if you guys are our friends, you’d see it too.”

A small applause from Deo and Mully interrupted the speech Ginger had practiced. It was fierce. It was hard, but most importantly, it was raw and honest.

“So Stella if you want to leave you can go. No one is stopping you,” Ginger’s gaze falls to her lap as she hears the scraping of a chair. She looks up at the blank face of her cousin. She knows that’s Stella is wishing Ginger would die, but Stella walks away from the group and if a pin fell, anyone a mile around could hear it shatter on the ground.

~~~~~

“That was like, really, brave, Gin. Like fuckin’ amazing that! You really told her off,” Niall couldn’t stop talking about Ginger finally standing for herself. They had been home for an hour and Ginger wanted to crawl into bed and wish the night away. “I’m so proud of you. But babe, how do you feel?”

Ginger furrows further down into the sheets and feels slightly empty. “A huge weight lifted off my shoulders, but that was my best friend. My cousin.” She feels sick to her stomach. Niall sits down on the bed; Ginger’s knees resting against the bottom of his spine.

“You okay?”

“Yeah…” Niall rests his hand on Ginger’s shoulder. He picks it up and pushes the hair out of Ginger’s face.

“You know I love you…” Niall’s voice starts to crack. Ginger reaches from under the sheets and holds out her hand for Niall to grasp.

“I love you. More than you can imagine,” Ginger smiles and as Niall leans down to kiss Ginger and as she cups the nape of his neck pulling her down, she smiles into their kiss. Niall’s lips roll around on hers and his breath smells like mint and beer and for Ginger this was heaven.

It was a realization and lesson learned that courage cannot be summoned or called-upon. It’s willpower fights against being and wins every single time. It’s like the wind, unseen and finds you. It can only be harnessed when present and in the rare moments that bravery shows its face, you must grab it by the reins and hold on tightly. Every anxiety-filled conversation Ginger had with herself was for not because the thing she needed most came to her on its own time. 

You cannot be brave all the time, but you can be brave for the important seconds that your life depends on it.  

~~~~~~~~~~

@oyesmendes​ @thicksniall​ @dontgiveupthedayjob​ @kare38 @verorax​ @stayclose-holdsteady​ @halfpinthoran​

[mayrinchen]

Lost Love | pjm fanfic pt1

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Wordcount: 2,3k

Warnings: indication of masturbation at the end

Summary:

Jimin and you were best friends when you were teenagers. He had to move across the world to pursue his dream career. He promised he'd never forget you and keep in contact, but when was that promise ever kept? 10 years later, after no contact at all, you meet again. But life continued during those 10 years and things changed. Did the ring on your finger destroy your chance of finding true love forever?

Stepping out of the plane was a nice feeling. The warm rays of sunshine were hitting Jimin’s skin and he could finally feel my legs again. After picking up his luggage, he made my way to the taxi and climbed into the backseat. As the driver navigated them to the hotel, he was going to stay at, his eyes roamed the small shops and tall office buildings he once was so familiar with flashing by. Now, 10 years later, they seemed the same but different. New York was the opposite of the small town he grew up in. He knew that New York was going to be louder, bigger and a lot more fast paced than the place he was leaving it for. But boy, did he underestimate it. The first few months felt like living hell, but he fought through it and the hard work didn’t disappoint. Jimin got promoted within 3 months of working at the marketing agency. But achieving success on one side had its sacrifice on the other side. His family and friends barely heard from him anymore. When he finally reached out to his parents again, he insisted on them coming to visit him. Not once did he visit them at home because he loved New York so much, he didn’t want to leave. Or at least that is what he told himself.

Jimin rested his head against the window and spotted a big, white apartment complex with flashy yellow window frames. His stomach dropped at the sight of it. And he immediately remembered the thing that made him hesitant about coming back. But maybe she was long gone - left this small town to start her own adventures somewhere else. But maybe she didn’t.

When they halted at a red light a few moments later, Jimin’s curiosity got the better of him and he turned around to look at the prominent building through the rear window. He wondered how it looked exactly the same as it did when he was a teenager, before it vanished behind the trail of cars behind them.

When they arrived at the hotel, the driver helped Jimin carry his luggage inside and for that he deserved a generous tip, Jimin thought. He still felt incredibly proud that he was wealthy enough to afford to tip people as much as he’s like to. And to afford a five-star hotel like this. The floor looked as if you could ice skate on it, that’s how shiny it was. After thanking the man and checking in he dropped down on the huge bed. Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea considering how white the bed was and how sweaty and disgusting he felt after the 15-hour journey from his apartment in New York to here. But now all he needed was a coffee to get through the rest of the day. Even though he flew first class, he wasn’t able to sleep more than two hours on the plane. His body was way too fidgety and sweaty. Probably just the nervousness of seeing his family again after a long time.

After changing clothes and freshening up a bit, Jimin decided to walk a few blocks to a café he knew all too well. He sighed as he left the suite, the insides of his suitcases were scattered around the place but that was a problem for future Jimin.

As he walked down the street, the soft wind blew through his shirt, cooling his skin from the hot summer sun. Entering the café, the nostalgic sound of a bell rang through his ears and he couldn’t help but smile. It was quite crowded which was expected during lunch time. But Jimin’s internal clock was so off. In New York it would be around midnight. Just the fact that the sun was burning down at the moment made Jimin go crazy.

He stood at the end of the queue and waited for his turn to order. When the last person in front of him stepped out of the way, Jimin looked up from his phone. As he stared into those all too familiar green eyes, his mouth hung open and it took him some seconds to regain himself.

“Jimin?” the older woman behind the counter asked with a similarly shocked expression. He forgot this is where she worked.

“Hye-ja?” Jimin smiled, putting a hand on the counter. “Nice to see you again.”

“I can only give that back. Look at you! You’ve grown up to be a very handsome young man.”

“Thank you,” he said while scratching the back of his neck. A customer appeared next to him and asked if he could have extra sugar for his coffee. Hye-ja immediately handed him a pack and wished him a good day with a smile on her face. The guy returned the smile and made his way back to his seat.

“Still making costumers’ days better from behind the counter, huh?” Jimin smirked, an eyebrow raised.

“Of course! You know I love it,” she grinned while preparing three drinks at once.

“And you’re the best at it,” Jimin smiled back at her before looking around the café. He felt uncomfortable. Not because he hasn’t seen her in a long time but because he vanished without even saying goodbye. He knew she didn’t hate him because she was too nice for that. But at the least, she was disappointed. Because when he left, he hurt one person in particular.

“How is your daughter?” he mumbled hesitantly, avoiding eye-contact. The older woman sighed before stopping to dry the mugs and propped herself up on the counter. Her eyes darted to Jimin’s. The reflex to look away was fighting hard but Jimin forced himself to look back at her. He was not going to run away from his problems. Again.

“Jimin…” she started softly. “She doesn’t hate you. You hurt her and you know that. I don’t blame you but you could’ve at least called from time to time. She wasn’t the only one who missed you,” Hye-ja smiled at him but he didn’t miss the sadness hiding behind it. He sighed before opening his mouth again.

“Does she… does she know-“

“That you are back?” she raised an eyebrow at him and continued when she received a nod from the younger boy.

“Yes, she heard. I’m sure she’ll be happy if you talk to her,” she handed Jimin his café and he handed her the money. Jimin nodded at her, a forced smile on his face.

But before he could say goodbye and turn away, Hye-ja stopped him.

“But it has been 10 years, Jimin. And things changed. Remember that,” she said, a smile planted on her face that didn’t reach her eyes. What did she mean by that, Jimin thought. But before he could question it, the woman had already turned her attention back to her work, only mumbling a ‘Have a nice time’. Jimin thanked her and without another word, left the building.

----

As the thoughts in his head became too loud for Jimin to bear, he decided to take a nap. But he didn’t intend to wake up over 10 hours later. The sun had long vanished behind the horizon and his jeans were getting uncomfortable. After he had unpacked both of his suitcases, he changed into comfier clothes before sliding back into bed and turning on the TV. It must have been long past 2 am when Jimin remembered that he hadn’t told his parents yet that he had arrived safely. Grabbing his phone from the bed side table, he sent his mom a quick text, telling her that he was going to visit them later that day. He then opened Instagram, mindlessly scrolling through it. And before he could stop himself, curiosity got the better of him and he typed her name into the search bar. Still private.

But you changed your profile picture.

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he decided that it was time to go back to sleep again. He was getting teary-eyed from the brightness of his phone and the TV.

----

Getting up the next morning at 6 am wasn’t easy but falling back asleep was impossible at this point. He was definitely feeling the jetlag and a headache creeping up behind his eyes. After an hour of scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, he ordered breakfast to his room, and ate it while switching through the program on the TV.

Jimin then decided that going for a run would be a great way to pass some time. On his run, he explored several small parks that were scattered around his area. A lot of which he knew but some he had never seen before. Tons of people were outside, enjoying the cosy weather. Not too hot, not too cold. Towards the end of the jog, Jimin realized that running with a full stomach was not one of his wisest decisions. Maybe a tea might help. Stopping in front of the same coffee shop, he visited yesterday, Jimin wondered if entering all sweaty and out of breath was such a good idea. But on the other side, he couldn’t care less. The only thing that made him hesitant was the back of someone’s head that looked oddly familiar. The female, he was inspecting from the outside, was talking to an employee. When she finally turned around, Jimin’s breath hitched in his throat. A person that passed him by, gave him a strange look, but Jimin ignored him. He would recognize that smile anywhere. A long time ago, he was the cause of that smile many times.

There you were. The reason why he was so hesitant to come back. You were chatting with your mom, a huge grin on your face. You haven’t changed a lot. You got prettier, more mature and you were still here. Thank god. Jimin stood there, frozen, just staring at you. He must have looked like a total creep. But when you turned to your right and waved at your mom, heading towards the exit – to Jimin, his heart started pounding in his chest. He quickly turned his back towards you and fished his phone out of his pocket, almost dropping it because of how shaky his hands were.

The ring of the bell and the clicking of heels on the pavement were letting him know that right now, you were standing next to him. He elevated his gaze from his phone and stopped at your side profile. You were staring down at your phone just like he was, furrowing your eyebrows. The difference was that you weren’t just pretending, trying to avoid your past.

And then your gaze shifted from your phone to your right and then to your left and from there, in the corner of your eye, you noticed him. Your eyes met his and they widened for a millisecond before your head snapped back forward. You were searching your surroundings for something.

“Y/N,” Jimin spoke, costing him all the courage he had. You closed your eyes for a second before turning on your heels and looking at him.

“Hi,” you said shortly. Jimin stared at you before his gaze flickered to the floor, then to the cars driving by, to everywhere but you. You on the other side stared him down. You felt anger, confusion, disappointment and so many more feelings when looking at him.

“I’m back,” he mumbled while scratching the back of his neck. Good. He feels awkward. He should.

“I can tell,” you stated. “Only took you 10 years.”

Jimin’s eyes met yours again. But when he noticed the ice stare you gave him, his head turned to the side, looking through the glass of the café. You followed his glance and noticed your mom looking back at you. Sighing, you turned back around and searched the street for your ride.

“Y/N, can we maybe meet up for a coffee and just… talk?”

“Talk?” you looked over your shoulder to raise an eyebrow at him. This time he held your stare and nodded. Another groan left your throat. Then the black car you were so desperately waiting for, finally showed up.

“We are invited to dinner at your parents’ house tonight. I’m pretty sure they don’t mind seeing you after all this time, anyways,” you told him before opening the car door and getting into the car. One more glance towards Jimin who was still inspecting you, before slamming the door shut and motioning for your driver to go.

Jimin watched the car drive off before slumping his shoulders and exhaling. He wasn’t aware of how tense his body had been while talking to you. As he looked back into the coffee shop, he noticed your mother still staring. When she noticed Jimin, she immediately went back to work. Dinner. Tonight. I wanted to visit my family today, anyways. Glad to know they are still close.

Jimin’s desire for a tea was now long gone and he decided to walk back to the hotel. He jumped into the shower as soon as he came back. The warm water was hitting his skin and helped him relax. Your face was still on his mind and he replayed your conversation over and over again. You were cold towards him and he couldn’t blame you. It was your right after everything he had done to you. You were still so fucking gorgeous. As Jimin closed his eyes, you were the only thing on his mind. Slowly a warm feeling spread through his lower body and he couldn’t help but slide his hands down his body. Soft whimpers left his mouth as he touched himself to the image of you. His mind and body screamed at him to stop. But he couldn’t. He was too weak. He hadn’t been touched in such a long time and seeing you today, looking so good it should be illegal, didn’t help. As a shudder took over his body, he slumped back against the shower wall. When he caught his breath again, he felt guilty. He didn’t deserve to feel this away about you. Not after leaving you to yourself for 10 years after he promised he’ll stay in contact.

[georgemackayhey]

Silver Lining: Chapter 2

In which you and George decide to make the most of life after meeting up at the wrong place at just the right time...

w/c: 3k

a/n: Thanks for such lovely feedback, already! This has been so much fun to write and we’re just getting started y’all! Please let me know if I forgot to tag you or if ya want to be added ♡

taglist: @etherealallure @maria-josefin @shelbygirlsclubx @loulouloueh @clarkewithameme​

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───※ ·❆· ※───

Seen yesterday 11:12 am

Of course, he hadn't responded to the shared google doc, you laughed to yourself in the car park of the airport. What were you thinking, inviting a stranger on holiday? You were nearly full of more regret than excitement for your pending adventure. But here you were, double-checking all the things in your handbag.

A pair of sunglasses, your plane tickets, and passport all accounted for, you unplugged the charger from the console and double-checked the time on your phone screen.

Right on time. You locked your phone, sliding it into your bag as a wave of nerves swept through you. Was this even going to be any fun? What was the point of going on some big romantic getaway if-

Your phone buzzed in your hand before you had let go all the way. When you pulled it into view a single notification lit up your screen... from George.

Wait up for me? ;)

Oh. Oh? You found yourself staring between the text message and his name in the corner of the screen. Was he really coming? Or was the cheeky emoji his way of sardonically letting you down easy?

You clutched your phone, trying to read between the lines as you collected your luggage from the back seat. You glanced at the message again as you locked your car and made your way inside the bright airport. Would lingering around the lobby make you look like a loon when you were inevitably left all alone? Would checking into your flight summon George, but all too late?

You glanced down to your phone one last time, decidedly turning it off along with your useless worries. You slid the device into your bag, reaching for your tickets and passports in exchange. And right when you turned your heels, you stopped in your tracks.

"Good morning!"  

It was him. George Mackay was stood there, in some high-end joggers, sporting perfectly messy hair and a smile that made you wonder what he had to be so damn happy about.

"You're here."  You realized, looking him up and down like taking notice of the laces of his shoes would solidify his existence.

"For some reason, I am." George nodded, shifting his weight as you stood staring. You wondered for a beat, what exactly you'd gotten yourself into. But all at once, a family of four rushed by in a hurry to the tune of their father chanting, "We're gonna be late!"

"Shall we?" You decide, remembering you were on a clock. You extended one of the plane tickets to George, whose already pleasant grin grew during the exchange.

You moved together, checking your bags, shifting through security and strolling amongst the slew of fellow travelers.

As you walked through the airport alongside George, crept into a conversation about how you’d both ended up here. About your recent ex’s, how for a dozen different reasons you should have seen it coming. How it was still sort of hilarious the way it all came to an explosive head. As George laughed along with you over the shitty situation, you felt more like you’d been catching up with an old friend than getting to know a new one.

Sure there was an air of elusiveness between the two of you, but it didn’t seem George had anything to hide. He took his time forming most of his responses, knowing there was a certain level of trust being built as you marched toward spending a handful of days together. But even though his quips were quiet and maybe even coy, he spoke in a manner that was confident and sure. You found yourself in a bit of a daze, studying his face as he spoke. He wore a hint of a smile and an almost furrowed brow. His sparkly blue eyes glancing at you every now and again, as if to check you were still listening.

All these factors added up to dampen your worries over if this was a good idea. George hadn’t given you a single reason to feel unsure of his company. He even asked somewhere back at the baggage claim if you were sure about his tagging along. By the time you wound up at the waiting gate, it seemed you’d found fast friends in one another.

“Are you sad about the wedding?” George wondered, sitting on a stool at your side. You rested your purse at a low risen bar, spinning on the stool to face him.

“I guess a little. I’d spent so long planning.” You shrugged. Funny how you really didn’t miss Colin, though. You explained to George how you met Colin in high school, before he got a big fancy job and fell in love with the money and power he gained. How you’d already settled into the role of doting on him, and you stopped feeling anything for the guy a while back, but only realized after it ended. You explained how you were glad for it now, but how it scared you a little to have been so blind.

“What about Chloe? Do you miss her?” You wondered, propping your elbow on the table at your side, and resting your head in your hand.

George gave you a lifeless grin, casting his eyes off in the distance as he explained how she was hardly ever around. How he wasted more breath begging for her to pay attention to him than ever actually spending much time together. How he felt silly for trying to make it work, after realizing all the signs it never would, were there from the beginning.

“I wish her the best, though, I suppose.” George sighed as if he wanted to hate Chole for what she did, but his purely kind soul wouldn’t allow it.

“I found her Instagram last night and scrolled through. I wanted to be mad at her, but I wasn’t. I mean, lots of her posts were pretty annoying, but I digress.” You gave a light chuckle. The girl had thousands of posts and saved stories, most of which were emoji saturated over-filtered bullshit. But she was studying to be a nurse and she had a family and friends who cared for her. She was just a normal girl who fucked up.

George hummed in a sort of agreement but the way his brow drew together made you toss him a look that demanded he speak his mind.

“Social media really isn’t my thing,” George informed matter of factly. Ah, so that explained why you hadn’t been able to find any accounts of his, last night.

“But you’re famous. Isn’t that like the prime place to advertise or whatever?” You chuckled, sitting up a little, stretching to shift positions.

“I’m not famous,” George stated, plain as day, that same perplexing micro expression lacing his features together. You huffed a laugh as his expression remained,

“Well, I recognized you and I'm nobody. We live in different worlds." You pointed out, playing along.

“That’s not true, is it? Look at us now.” George rose a coy brow as if to prove a point. A montage of muddle memories of the past couple days flashed across your brain as you looked to George, realizing this was really truly happening.

“Why’d you decide to come anyway?” You wondered all of a sudden. Shouldn’t he be off charming a few news anchors or something?

George sat up a little from where he’d been slumped against the counter space, giving a small slow nod as if he knew this question was coming sooner or later.

"Well... I've got some time to enjoy myself before I start my next film. The last one I worked on was, well it was intense. Made my head spin a bit, if I'm honest. The next one will probably do the same, so I figured a bit of spontaneous fun was in order."

"How could you possibly enjoy work like that?"

"I like bringing these stories to life, even if they're hard to tell. Besides, not all of my roles are quite so intense." George explained, drumming his fingers on his knee for a beat. "Ah, but you should know, I'm apparently quite famous."

He cast you a blank look, waiting for you to crack a smile before he did. With a shake of your head, you let out a laugh and stopped marveling over how you ended up here long enough to appreciate the fact that this was happening at all.

And then, it was time to board the plane. You found your seats, watching the last of the passengers cram their belongings overhead.

"Why Rome and Barcelona?" George asked as he settled by your side once more.

"Colin wanted Barcelona. I wanted Rome so he booked it first to get it 'out of the way'" You mocked your ex, feeling more grateful by the minute to be rid of him.

"You really scored with that charmer." George snickered, relaxing back against his seat.

"And now I have a masochistic actor taking his place. I'm so lucky."  You shot back withholding a massive grin. You did feel pretty damn fortunate.

"You literally asked for it." George pointed a finger your way.

"You literally offered." You countered. His lips were upturned, and parted as if he wanted to respond but only a defeated breathy laugh escaped. It caused you to wonder if he was regretting making the strange offer. If he'd suddenly realized what he was doing and wished he'd never agreed to it.

That's about the time the plane started to jet down the runway. When the wheels lifted off the ground, the small worry in your stomach spread to your chest and everything seemed so insanely wrong all at once.

"I've never flown before." You admitted quietly, gripping onto either armrest and hoping the feeling of dread would pass if you alluded to it out loud. George glanced to you, sitting up a little straighter, and speaking up in that tone of his that was calm yet demanding all at once.

"It's just like a roller coaster, just at first. Then it's like nothing."

"I threw up on Splash Mountain." You fretted, the one and only ride you ever had the experience to draw from.

"Gives a new meaning to the name aye?" George joked, but you could find it in yourself to laugh along.

You knew George was only trying to keep up the banter you'd picked up somewhere back at the airport, but you were far too freaked out to join in. You hoped the sorry look in your eyes was enough of an apology before you screwed them shut, trying to ignore the invisible vice around your throat.

"Okay, it's alright, you've just gotta breathe." George shifted beside you, leaning in a little closer to gently relay his message.

"My heart's beating so fast I can't even feel it," You admitted. It felt like the buzz from the broken air conditioner vent overhead, with a flap vibrating against cold air. George followed your gaze to the thing but shook his head as your focus remained.

Then, without a word, George gently tore your grasp away from the armrest. He decidedly pressed the back of your hand to his chest, holding it there as he said,

"Focus on that beat and try to match it."

His heartbeat was unmistakable and strong. His concentration was on you, and you were almost lost taking note of the exact color of his eyes. They were sodalite, the color of a world you could have easily lost yourself in.

"Thanks." You mewled, daring to keep your focus on George, forgetting for just a split second, what you were so anxious about.

After you'd gained composure, and there was no reason for your hand to be intertwined with Georges any longer, there was still a nervous flutter in your chest.

George eased into a conversation about his favorite books, asking you to list off yours, joking that you needed to find something in common besides the grim reality of being recently dumped. He made you laugh, and he listened when you spoke. You'd almost forgotten where you were headed, and why, entirely too lost in the fun you were having on the ride there.

By the time the plane landed, it was as if you'd planned for this trip together all along, with George rambling about the things you'd organized in the google doc you shared.

In the blink of an eye, Rome was alive all around you, at long last. You passed through colorful markets and waved to musicians in the streets as you took a short journey to a hotel just outside of the city.

When you ended up in the bustling sunlight saturated lobby, the very kind and tired looking woman behind the front desk let you know that the room you'd reserved wasn't quite ready. She very kindly offered to stow away your bags until then, while you decided to take to the streets.

All the while, George was always somewhere right behind you, charming the lady at the front desk and making a cab driver laugh so hard he cried. You realized you were in the presence of someone very special, George wasn't like anyone you'd ever known. And strange as it was to sit by him in these sudden change of plans, it was oddly familiar. It was as if it was always meant to be this way.

The cab dropped you off in the heart of the city where you pointed out sights and ordered some coffees from a vendor to fuel your stroll through town. You were finally in the place you'd longed to end up, even having only just gotten there, there was so much beauty to spin around and soak up. The sun was low in the sky, peeking through a dusty alley in a quiet part of the city you'd wandered to. When you took to a bench to rest a beat, you checked your notifications and found your phone was full of missed phone calls from your mother. You couldn't help but wonder if you'd made some kind of mistake.

But then there was George, lingering a few feet away, snapping photos of a street sign like a dad on vacation. The golden sun highlighted his charming features as he turned to you with a smile.

"I see why you choose this place. It's like nothing bad can happen here." He spoke, sauntering your way with that same dopey smile he'd been sporting all afternoon.

"What about in the '80s when that girl got kidnapped by the police and the church covered it up?" You spoke up, crossing your arms as he approached you with the shake of his head.

"You're a real ray of sunshine, huh?" George laughed, shifting his weight to stand right in front of you. "There are bright sides to every story too, ya know?"

"Says the guy who keeps auditioning for horrific films." You shrug with a grin. This was what you'd been doing all day, trying to uncover each other's layers between the deepest level of small talk imaginable.

"Okay, first of that's just a lie," George pointed, "And who says I'm not looking for the bright side in those stories? Why not try and make the most of the bad part of life?" So that's why he was here, you figured. But you had to counter him.

"Sometimes life is just shitty ya know?" You shrugged as a breeze blew past.

"Yeah, well not now. Come on, let's go get some dinner." George held out his hand for you to take, pulling you from where you sat on the bench. You couldn't help but chuckle as you followed his lead. Your shared laughter echoed through the empty streets as George directed you to an eatery where tiny tables were packed into a vine-covered stone patio. He'd found his way there without fault, leaving you to wonder if he'd been here before. And if he hadn't, George's assuredness was admirable.

The crowded restaurant was full of smiling faces, yours included. Everyone vendor and passerby you'd interacted with thus far was incredibly kind. Rome was everything you'd imagined and more, and you'd only been for a couple of hours.

As you ordered food and ate, you and George went on slyly getting to know each other. He mentioned his family, comparing the dinner he ordered to his grandmother's best recipes. You admitted your mother had phoned a dozen times throughout the day. George insisted you call her back right away, recalling a time he ran off as a boy, almost giving his mother a heart attack and still felt guilty to this day.

So to cease his pestering, you called her right in the middle of your meal. The conversation with her wasn't very long, as you informed her you'd taken off on the trip you planned for and that you'd call to tell her the rest of the story later, only ringing now to let her know you were safe and fine.

And by the time you finished eating, George refused to let you pay for any of it.

"You've planned and paid for most of this trip. I can't just tag along with nothing to offer" George laughed, but swatted your hand away from the bill all the same. "So it's either I pay for dinner or I force you into some spectacular plan and blow all my savings on it, your choice."

"You're impossible." You nodded, slumping back allowing him to pick up the check, just this once.

Back at the hotel, the lobby was just as full of people as it had been early in the day. You almost reached out to George as you pushed through the crowd, just so you wouldn't lose him, but you didn't.

After collecting your room key and luggage, you were greeted with your first issue. It was inevitable for something to have gone wrong, but the stakes were a little higher now, in the company of a man you just met. You didn't even know his middle name.

But now you were stuck in Rome together, in a teeny tiny hotel room with one small bed and a wooden chair in the corner.

"I'll go see if they can switch rooms." You sleepily sighed, spinning to head back down the couple flights of stairs you'd just trudged up.

The same sweet woman at the front desk looked even more exhausted when you reached her again and you almost felt bad for asking, but you had to.

When the lady regretfully informed you that they were entirely booked, pointing to a walk-in who opted to sleep in the waiting lounge, you wished her a goodnight and worried all the way back upstairs.

"We could take shifts like they did in the war." You shrugged, informing George that your trip down to change things proved unsuccessful.

"I don't think that's a viable option." George chuckled. He was sitting in the rickety wooden chair, thumbing through a paperback that rested on the desk beside him. Before you could speak up again, he shut the book and stood, announcing that he was going to get cleaned up for the night.

You sorted through a few of your belongings as George occupied the bathroom, pacing at the end of the tiny bed. The room was quaint and warm and held all the charms you'd longed to be surrounded by. But what the hell were you supposed to do now?

You kept on trying to brainstorm when it was your turn to clean up, but you'd had far too much to still try and process about today, that your mind went blank.

Back in the room, You found George settled below the paint chipped window, leaning back against the desk. His legs kicked across the floor, that old ratty paperback in his lap.

"George, get up you're not sleeping on the floor." You sat on the edge of the bed, turning back the covers. He twisted to gaze up at you, confused.

"Come on, we're grown-ups and we're only here two nights." You gestured for him to occupy the bed space beside you, easing toward the edge best you could. You could practically hear him thinking from all the way across the very small room.

"Don't make me count to three." You threatened, giving George a look. He let himself smile as he rolled his eyes and stood with a sigh. He turned off the light and somehow after you'd both situated under the covers, there was a miraculous sliver of space between you.

Worn out from all the travel you were nearly asleep when your head hit the pillow. Tomorrow was a tour of the Sistine Chapel and the Vatican. It was the day you'd planned for a million little things you'd always dream of doing, but now, you felt guilty.

"George..." You spoke out, quiet as you could, gazing out of the window you faced.  "If you got to spend a day in Rome what would you want to do most of all?" He offered to tag along on your trip, but you wanted him to have fun, too.

A beat passed in the still of the night and you figured the guy on the opposite side of the small but arguably cozy bed, had fallen asleep. But then in a low gentle whisper, George replied...

"Do as Romans do."

When in Rome, you thought... It was a saying used as an excuse to indulge but you'd forgotten it really meant to adapt to your situation, to roll with the punches and not get hung up in trying to fight or figure out the natural flow of things.

With that, you fell asleep, dreaming of waking up to another adventure

───※ ·❆· ※───

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Run To You - Chpt.7

Summary: Steve is reeling from Bucky’s departure and trying to make sense of what to do next. After an unexpected clue and a surprise offer of help, Steve does everything he can to make New York safe for Bucky to return. The only problem then becomes, what if that’s not what Bucky wants?  Master list is HERE

Content Warning: None :)

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! The last chapter is here!! Thank you to everyone who has stuck around for this fic through all of it’s ups and downs. Please enjoy the last bit of the journey and the much awaited happily ever after. The epilogue goes up next, so keep an eye out right after this. XOXO - Ash

Chapter Seven

Steve

Three weeks. It has been three excruciating weeks of searching and hoping and ultimately losing hope. Steve feels like he’s living in a world of grey, nothing brings him joy quite the same way it used to. It’s startling to discover how quickly he’d grown to care for Bucky and how empty his life feels without the other man. After a few days of trying to give Bucky space, Steve had reached out only to find the brunette was gone. It was hard to believe, especially after Bucky had just promised not to run away when things got tough. Steve had been frantic at first, fearing the worst, until Tony had done some research and shown Steve the paper trail. Bucky had drained his bank account and bought one way tickets to Moscow for him and Becca. The trail went cold after that, he’d ditched his phone and stopped using cards, disappearing like a ghost in the night. 

After four days of hiding in his bed mourning the loss of what was and what could have been, Steve went down to the mission debriefing Tony was hosting and dove head first back into work. It’s been non-stop missions from that point on. Days off are too lonely without having someone to text or call or visit. The nights are even worse. So Steve pours himself into the all consuming need to eliminate the threat that had sent Bucky running in the first place. Steve knows it’s not the healthiest reaction but a small part of him clings to the hope that if he can remove the threat, Bucky will be able to come home. A more rational part of him points out that even with Hydra gone there are other threats. And how would Bucky even know that Hydra had been defeated? Desperation and hope had never been rational things though. 

The team worries about Steve the longer his non-stop working goes on. They each approach the subject differently but by the end of the third week they’ve all made their concerns clear. 

A subtle “Why don’t you sit this one out, pal? We’ve got it covered.” from Bruce. 

A less than subtle “You look like you could use another ice nap, Capiscle. The bags under your eyes have their own set of luggage.” from Tony. 

Steve shakes off their comments lightly, assuring everyone he’s fine. Really, he’s fine. Steve is starting to hear the edge in his own tone but pointedly ignores it. He just needs to keep busy until the searing ache in his chest dulls enough for him to get through a day without feeling like he’s falling apart. He hasn’t felt this off kilter since waking up seventy years in the future and realizing he’d missed his chance at a life with Peggy. But he had moved on from the pain of that loss, and Steve knows he can do it again. He has to.

The first clue comes a week later when Tony is doing his monthly deep scrub of the security systems. He finds the normal clutter of attempted hacks and people trying to poke around just for the hell of it. Most of it doesn’t get past the first ring of protection and is pathetically amateur. Those people don’t even warrant a second glance before he wipes the records. It’s the people who get a little further that Tony takes note of. It’s a rare occurrence, maybe three or four times a year, that someone actually gets past Tony’s first set of barriers and those are the people who get a nice little visit from SHIELD. Tony had actually hired his newest intern that way. A sweet kid from Queens who had gotten pretty damn far, three out five barriers, on his first try. Peter Parker had been trying to spy on their intel so he could clean up the crime in Queens on his own. Setting out like a tiny little vigilante in spandex. Tony did a little spying of his own and had been more than impressed with the kid’s skills. Taking him under his wing, Peter was currently training with the team a few days a week. Tony refused to let the kid out on missions until after he turned eighteen, but for now he was at least getting prepared for when that day came. 

The clue was more of a blip than a red flag, and Tony almost overlooked it, though he didn’t admit that to Steve when he was telling him the news. There was a small window of time, just barely twenty minutes, one night where the memory had been overwritten. It took Tony longer than he was willing to say to backtrack and restore the original record but once he did, his jaw dropped. Someone, identifiable only by a little black spider icon, had gone through the security feed and Jarvis’ surveillance inside the tower. Specifically tracking down Steve and his movements throughout the day. Tony’s first assumption was Hydra, but he’d seen how they worked before and it lacked this level of delicateness and finesse. The fact that nothing had come of it also led him to believe this wasn’t Hydra. 

“So do you think it was Bucky?” Steve asks once Tony has finished explaining what he’d found. 

Tony shakes his head, “No, not unless he’s a secret super hacker in his spare time. I think he was involved somehow though. Someone wanted to make sure they knew where you were while your boy toy made his grand exit. I tracked it as far as I could, but this little spider was good. Scary good. How much do you know about his friends? Anyone in security, or IT or something?”

Steve thinks for a minute, running through the conversations he’s had with Bucky about people in his life. It hits him over the head like a ton of bricks. “Natasha!” he practically shouts, “There’s a woman, Natasha Roma-something. They went to NYU together and she works in cyber security. She watches Becca while Bucky works overnights. He joked about her ‘spy skills’ once.” 

“That sounds like a good start. I’ll start there but if you think of anyone else let me know.” 

Three hours later Tony has a name, address, and a promise that he’s 99.99% sure Natasha Romanoff is their woman. 

Steve insists on going to visit Natasha alone, praying she doesn’t run the second she sees him. He promises Tony he can go another time to “talk shop”. Natasha isn’t home when Steve arrives so he tugs the visor of his baseball cap lower and pulls out a worn paperback from his jacket pocket. Two chapters later, he spots a redhead eyeing him suspiciously as she approaches the stoop. 

“Steven.” she says evenly once she’s a few steps away.

Steve recognizes it as tactical, she’s far enough away that she can still flee if he gives her any indication this isn’t a friendly visit. He stays seated, not wanting to scare her off unintentionally. “Natasha.” he replies. 

“I don’t know where he is, he hasn’t contacted me.” 

It’s impressive to Steve how well she lies. He’s never had that gift. “I don’t think that’s necessarily true.”  he says. Natasha’s lip quirks up, amused. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have had to spy on me while he was escaping.” he adds lightly.

Natasha’s lip curves into a full smirk at that. “I must be losing my touch.” 

Steve shakes his head, “I don’t think that’s necessarily true either.” 

Despite herself, Natasha actually chuckles at that. “Come on in, Steve. I’ll make tea.” 

Steve spends the rest of his afternoon in Natasha’s little loft apartment. It’s cozy and filled with bright colors and vibrant patterns. It’s so different than he would have expected and he kind of loves it. They talk about Bucky a lot, but also about Steve, and Natasha too. Natasha is more reticent about sharing her story but Steve has a feeling he got more than most people do. She very carefully skirts around the topic of who she works for and what exactly she does, as well as anything involving where Bucky is. 

All of her question dodging is frustrating and Steve’s patience finally snaps, “Look, I’m not going to go after him. I promise you, I’m not. Not until I know it’s safe for him to come back. I lo-” Steve clears his throat, unable to say the words aloud, “I care about him so damn much. I won’t risk his safety again. I’m going to take Hydra down for good this time, I know it. And once Hydra is gone, then I’d like to at least have the option of reaching out to him.” 

Natasha watches Steve quietly for a moment. He feels like a bug under a microscope as she looks for some unimaginable tell. After a few seconds she finally nods, coming to a conclusion. “Okay,” she says, “I believe you. But if you’re going to do this right, you’re going to need me.” 

“Need you?” Steve parrots back, confused.

“Oh yes, me. You need someone who can trace all of Hydra’s webs back to their source. Or sources, most likely. Find all of their locations and burn them to the ground. If we miss even one, there’s always going to be the chance for a resurgence. Let me help take them down and then we can talk about maybe you reaching out to Bucky.” 

Tony almost swallows his tongue the first time he sees Natasha go to work on his computers. As much as he hates to admit someone is better than him, he’s in awe of Natasha’s skills. They spend all hours of the day and night working, often passing out from lack of sleep right on the computer desk. Steve brings them coffee and sandwiches but he really can’t contribute much to the discussion as they throw ideas around. 

With Natasha’s help it only takes two weeks to track down every last Hydra base, safe house, lock box, and rendezvous point. Steve insists on looping in SHIELD after he and Natasha hammer out a strategy they can both agree upon. There’s too much exposure and a risk of missing Hydra members if they use only the Avengers. The strike needs to be tactical and synchronous. Thirty one locations and thirty one strike teams all attacking at the exact same time. No chance for locations to tip each other off or for people to run. 

Agent Coluson is more than willing to lend the support the Avengers need and offers up all the man power he has. With teams in place, Steve isn’t willing to wait another day to end the decades old war. At 2:23am, eastern standard time, all thirty one teams move in on their locations. By 2:35am, Hydra has officially fallen. 

It takes a few days for it to sink in that Hydra’s really gone. Steve worries incessantly that they missed something and it’s all going to be for nothing again. He’d rather spend another seventy years at the bottom of the ocean than risk bringing Bucky back to danger. SHIELD is kind enough to handle the processing of items and documents recovered from the raids, as well as incarcerating the few members who allowed themselves to be taken alive. Much to SHIELD’s embarrassment, the raids uncovered a few Hydra agents in their own ranks, but they were thankful to have the potential threats to their organization removed. 

Steve doesn’t approach Natasha for Bucky’s whereabouts. He’s still too nervous and tentatively hopeful to ask. He doesn’t think his heart will be able to handle it if she says no again. It helps that she’s going to be around more now so he’ll have opportunities when he’s ready. After a little cajoling by Tony, Natasha had agreed to work with the Avengers on a loose, as needed, basis. Basically whenever she feels like it, but Steve’s pretty sure she’ll come to help if called. In the end, Natasha is the one who seeks out Steve. She finds him sitting in the common room, watching an old western by himself in the dark, and hands him a slip of paper. 

Steve blinks blearily, caught off guard, and he tries to read the note in the dim, flickering TV light. It’s an address and a phone number printed in Natasha’s tiny neat penmanship. He knows what it is immediately but can’t figure out why she’s giving it to him now. 

“It’s time.” she says simply, reading the question on his face. “If you decide to go, let me know and I’ll help with your disguise.” 

Steve chafes a little at her offer, “What’s wrong with my normal disguise?”

“Steven, a baseball hat and a coat are not a disguise. If you’re going to him you’ll need to blend in. Even with those ridiculous shoulders of yours.” 

“Fine, fine.” he grumbles without any heat. Part of him wants to jump on his bike and drive straight there until he can hold Bucky in his arms again. The other part of him is still terrified of rejection and that maybe their mission wasn’t a success like everyone thinks. His mind is warring with itself until Natasha flicks his ear, breaking him out of his thoughts to glare at her. 

“Stop over thinking.” she commands. “We’ll go in the morning. Together. I’ve been apart from my malyshka for long enough.” 

Steve looks at Natasha, gratitude pouring from his eyes while his mouth can’t find the words to thank her enough. She knows without him having to say a word. Patting him gently on the knee, Natasha gets up and silently exits the room leaving Steve to solitude once again.

xxXxx

Bucky

“Come on, bug, please.” Bucky begs, trying to coax Becca away from the glass walled cage of guinea pigs. 

“But daddy, look at that one! She’s perfect! I could name her Angelina and she could live in my room.” Becca pleads pointing to a white, black, and tan colored pig in the back. 

Bucky hesitates, almost willing to cave in, before finding his resolve again. “No, not right now. I’m not saying no forever, but let’s go home and do some research first. We want to make sure we can give her a good home before buying her, right?” 

Becca looks up at him skeptically before admitting defeat. Her tiny shoulders slump but she nods. “Okay, we can do the research first.” Becca turns back to the cage, wiggling her finger at the tiny animal. “Bye Angelina. I’ll be back for you soon.” 

Bucky herds Becca away from the cage and towards the check out. All they’d needed was a new filter for the fish tank Bucky had set up in the kitchen a few weeks back. It was hard to believe they’d had Elsa and Anna for a month now. Becca had won the pair of fish at the fall festival they went to their second week in town. Both Barnes’ had adapted to life in Cape Elizabeth quickly, loving the slower paced small town life. Bucky missed the city at times, the hustle and bustle, the nearness to everything, but mostly his friends. And Steve. He tried not to think about Steve as much as he could, but in the quiet moments his memories consumed him. 

Back in their apartment, which now feels like home more than their apartment in Brooklyn ever had, Bucky replaces the fish tank filter and starts the oven preheating so he can get dinner cooking while he grabs a shower. He’s still in his scrubs, having picked Becca up after his shift at the urgent care center, and though it was a relatively easy day, he still wants his habitual post-shift shower so he can feel a little more human again.

Bucky pokes his head into Becca’s room and finds her already in her pajamas, sprawled out on the floor, coloring. He leaves her be, not wanting to disturb her, and heads towards his room. Bucky just gets his shirt over his head when the doorbell rings. He was so close to hot water and soap. Pulling his shirt back on with a groan, Bucky heads to the front door trying to keep a scowl off of his face. It’s probably just Anne with some new baked good, or maybe even Chris from work dropping something off he forgot there. Bucky throws the door open before looking out the window and regrets it when two strangers stand in front of him. 

“Can I help you?” he asks, his tone guarded. In a span of a heartbeat Bucky goes through the list of places he’s hidden knives and pepper spray. While he trusts Natasha’s skills, he never wants to risk not being able to defend himself and Becca. In the next heartbeat he recognizes the breadth of the man’s shoulders and the sharp glint of the woman’s eyes. “Oh my god.” he gasps, his knees buckling under him in shock. 

Steve lunges forward, super soldier reflexes coming to the rescue, and he catches Bucky before the smaller man hits the ground. 

Embarrassed, Bucky rights himself with assistance from Steve. He’s trembling, terrified what it means if they’re both there on his doorstep. “Come in then, I guess.” he says, shakily waving a hand towards the living room. 

Bucky can’t help but stare at Natasha and Steve as they take their seats on the sofa. Natasha’s bright red hair is a muted brown, thick rimmed glasses frame her eyes, and she’s wearing heels that add four inches to her petite stature. Steve’s hair is colored black and spiked up in a way that makes Bucky want to laugh. The shapeless green army style jacket and brown contacts in his eyes make him almost unrecognizable. 

Natasha, fearless as ever, is the first to speak. “Sorry for dropping in on you like this.” 

“Why are you-” Bucky is cut off by a shriek and then a flurry of yellow pajamas as Becca comes flying into the room, throwing herself at Natasha. The little girl would recognize that voice anywhere.

“Auntie Nat!!!” she yells as she clings to Natasha for dear life. She’s crying, tears streaming down her pink cheeks, mumbling into her auntie’s shoulder, too quiet to understand. 

“I know, malyshka,” Natasha croons, “I missed you too.” 

Bucky feels tears of his own prickling the corners of his eyes. 

Becca starts peppering Natasha with questions, still not recognizing Steve much to the former blonde’s amusement. Natasha gently cuts off the little girl’s questions. “Okay, kiddo. I need to talk to Bucky for a few minutes. Adult talk. Can you go play for a bit and when we’re done I’ll come hang out with you for as long as you want?” 

Becca nods, giving Natasha another hug before heading down the hall without complaint. 

Bucky shakes his head, “You know she’s never going to let you go now that you said that.” 

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” Natasha grins. 

“So,” Bucky starts the dreaded conversation again, “Why are you here? Do we need to leave? Did something happen?” 

 Natasha glances over at Steve and begins when it’s clear he’s not ready to speak. “Well, we have some news. Good news, actually.” Natasha looks at Steve one last time, wanting to give him the chance to share the news but he remains silent. “Hydra is gone, permanently this time. We’re certain, I’m certain. I kind of teamed up with Steve and the guys to make sure of it. You’re safe to come home now.” 

Bucky’s heart clenches at the word ‘home’. He is home. Trying to parse through the information Bucky gets stuck on, “Wait, you kind of teamed up with Steve? And the guys? What are you, an Avenger now?” 

“I wouldn’t put a label on it. But I’m there to help them when I have time.” 

Bucky huffs a laugh at the surrealness of it. He’d always thought Natasha was practically a superhero and now, here she is really being one. “Do you have a superhero name and everything?” He’s going to enjoy lording this over her head, whatever it is. 

“Nope.” Natasha says at the same time Steve says “Black Widow.” 

Bucky’s eyes bug out comically at both the name and the fact that Steve finally spoke. The rich timber of his voice rolls across the room to Bucky making him feel weak-kneed all over again. “Steve… I…” Bucky looks at Steve helplessly. He doesn’t know how to start with so many conflicting emotions whirling around inside. 

Natasha watches the pair of men watch each other and decides it’s time for her exit. “I’m going to hang out with Becs. You two have a lot of catching up to do.” She pops up from the sofa and heads off leaving the two men to stare at each other in silence. 

As much as it pains him, Steve finally speaks up. “If you don’t want me here I can go. I shouldn’t have just shown up like this, I’m sorry. I just… I thought… well, I’m not sure what I thought anymore.” He looks so lost and earnest it breaks Bucky’s heart a little more. 

“Wine.” Bucky blurts out awkwardly. “I have wine. Let’s get some and we can go sit out on the porch and talk.” 

“Okay, Buck. Whatever you want.” 

Steve follows Bucky to the kitchen quietly. He waits as Bucky pours two mugs full of a dark red wine and hands him one of the mugs. He follows quietly again when Bucky leads him out to the porch and takes a seat on one of the adirondack chairs. Steve takes the chair next to Bucky, surprised by how comfortable the seat is. “This is nice.” he says, not specifying if he’s commenting on the wine, the chair, or the crisp, clear, autumn evening. 

Bucky hums his agreement. “It is.” A soft silence falls on them again, but Bucky doesn’t let it linger this time. “So Hydra’s really gone?”

Steve nods immediately, finding his footing a little. “Yeah, for sure this time. You should have seen Natasha and Tony. They were amazing tracking everyone down. We even got SHIELD to lend us their forces to ensure our plan worked.” 

“That had to feel really good after all these years.” 

“Yeah, it did.” 

“So, what’s the plan now? What will you do now that Hydra’s out of the picture?”

Steve thinks a moment before finally shrugging his ridiculously wide shoulders, “I really don’t know. Tony was making some jokes about me finally retiring but I don’t know what I’d do with my time if I wasn’t working.”

Bucky reaches over and places his hand on top of Steve’s where it rests on the arm of his chair. The movement is so natural and easy that he’s squeezing Steve’s hand comfortingly before he even realizes what he’s doing. “You’ll find something,” Bucky assures him. “Maybe you could volunteer. There’s veterans centers, and animal shelters, and old folks homes that could all use an extra set of capable hands. You’ll figure it out.” 

Steve chuckles at the thought, “Yeah, maybe I’ll go volunteer at a retirement home. It would be nice to swap stories with people my own age about the good old days.” 

Bucky huffs a laugh and shoves lightly at Steve’s arm. “I forget that you’re really a senior citizen under all that muscle.”

“Only chronologically. Physically, I’m still twenty-seven.” 

“Yeah, okay. Let’s see the date on your driver's license, pal.” Bucky teases. 

Steve laughs in earnest then, leaning a little closer to Bucky and the moment turns soft, intimate, as their laughter dies off. 

There’s so many things Bucky wants to tell Steve, so many different ways the conversation could go. But he finally decides on, “Steve, I need you to understand that as much as I want to be with you, I don’t want to go back to New York. Becca and I created a life in this town and there is so much opportunity for her to have a happy, normal, childhood here. I can provide better for her here than I ever could in the city.” 

“She comes first.” Steve says simply.

“She does, always. I loved New York for a long time but I think I forgot how different life could be outside the city. I have a job here that I love, it’s less stress and more money and I work normal hours for once in my life. Our expenses are like half of what they were in Brooklyn, which is still unreal. And Becca loves her new school and her friends. It’s not setting her up for Ivy League or anything but they have advanced classes she can take when she gets a little older. She’s happy here, we’re happy here. Hell, we have a yard, Steve. A real yard where she can run and play and just be a normal kid. This is the life I wanted for her.” 

“I’m not asking you to give all that up, Buck.” Steve is quick to assure him, “I’m just asking if maybe you’d consider giving us another chance. I know we were only together for a few months but I… I fell in love with you. And I don’t expect you to feel the same way, I’m not trying to force you into something you’re not interested in, but if you’d be willing, I’d really like to give us another try.” 

Bucky’s heart swells at the declaration. It was fast, but he’d fallen just as quickly and deeply as Steve. He doesn’t know how they’ll work out the distance, but in the spirit of putting their cards on the table, Bucky admits, “I fell in love with you too. Leaving was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I had to protect Becca. I’m so sorry I ran. Again. It’s going to be one hell of a commute, but I’m willing to give us another try.”  

Steve’s hands are trembling as he’s overwhelmed by emotion. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be too far. I’m sure there are things for a retired centenarian to do around here. If you’re serious about trying, I’ll go back to New York and hand in my resignation tomorrow. I could be back and ready to house hunt by the weekend. Just… promise me you won’t run again. Please. If things don't work out then it’ll suck, but okay. Just, don’t run before giving us a chance to talk it out.” 

Pain blossoms in Bucky’s chest at Steve’s plea. He knew he’d hurt Steve twice now by running instead of talking. After this last time, Bucky knew he’d learned his lesson. “The only place I’ll be running from now on is back to you.” Hope and love shine brightly in Bucky’s eyes as he leans forward to capture Steve’s lips with his own. The kiss is a gentle, a promise for a future together. They’re unhurried, losing themselves in the moment as their bodies fall back into sync like no time has passed at all.  After a little while the air is too chilly to stay outside and they head in to find Natasha and Becca coloring together as dinner cools on the stove top. 

“I took it out when it beeped.” Natasha says pointing at the stove, “It smells amazing, I hope you don’t mind sharing.” 

“Not at all.” Bucky grins, “We’d love for you guys to stay for dinner. And if you don’t have to be back right away, you’re welcome to crash here for the night too.” 

A faint blush spreads across Steve’s cheeks at the idea of spending the night, hopefully in Bucky’s bed. He returns Bucky’s grin readily. “No place I’d rather be.” 

[bxoken-heartss]

@tu-sonrisaaa-te-amooo asked: Could you do the 8 and 17 fluff with Joel? tht would be cute (ik u hate him lol u could do zabdi if u want)

Lmao I don't hate him Bby..he can just be a bit dramatic sometimes...that's all 🙆‍♀️

Prompts: (I did a bit of alterations in it so excuse me)

“I want to dance through an army of fireflies with you.” (Prompt 8)

“My hand was made to fit into yours. That’s all there is to it.” (Prompt 17)

So Y/N is your name

~ ~ ~ means change of scenario.

✓ ✓ ✓ means the end.

So...ahem...this went a bit more than I intended it to go...I swore I would just write drabbles but I guess old habits die hard? So this is it? I hope you like it Dia! 💕😅 (oh new nickname alert)

This song is beautiful and sorta inspired me! 💕

- - -

Y/N and Joel were friends ever since they were little kids...They had met when Joel had gotten lost wandering around in a series of pet shops staring at pets (especially various dog breeds and puppies). When his senses had hit him..he understood he had gotten lost..he began to feel nervous and uneasy and let out childish sobs as he began to run around looking for his mother.

He barely paid attention to anything around him as he only focused in searching for his mother that which eventually ends up with him bumping onto someone.

"Ouch! Why can't you watch where the hell they are going?!" A voice speaks

Joel falls down as he looks at the person speaking...a little girl who held a husky in her arms on the floor angrily glaring at him

"I'm so sorry...I didn't..." He begins as he stares at the husky...

"It's fine...Just watch where you're going at least the- -" She begins

"Is that the Siberian Husky?" Joel asks interrupting her as he stands up

"I'm kind of offended that you interrupted me...But yes...yes it is.." She replies as she possessively holds her husky

"Can...Can I pet it?" He asks as he looks at the husky eagerly

"Well sure I guess..." She says as Joel begins petting the husky.

A few minutes later, the duo had already begun talking about...dogs things in general..

"Y/N! There you are!!" I was looking all over for you!" A voice speaks, tone concerned

"Oh..Mumma..I was just on my way back but then this boy bumped into me and apparently loves Zachary a bit too much.." She says as she points at Joel

And that's when our oblivious little Joel realizes that he was lost and was supposedly supposed to find his mother..not stand here fanboying over a husky.

His eyes widen as he looks around, searching for his mother a.k.a his official/ main intention...Panic strikes his system as he realizes he was obviously potentially lost..

"Are you okay Joel?" Y/N asks

"I'm LOST!" Joel replies as he looks at her letting out childish sobs

"Oh god...Mumma...Help him!" Y/N says

"Listen lil boy...we'll find your mother...do you like know her number or anything.." Y/N mother asks

"Yes..." He replies as he tells her the number letting out soft sobs

The husky jumps onto Joel's arms as it began licking his face. Joel stopped crying slowly as he began smiling a bit.

"Oh my god...He is just so adorable..." Joel says as he pets the husky

"Yeah...he seemingly likes you..strange..he's not pretty comfortable with strangers.." Y/N comments

Soon Joel's mother comes in, her eyes scanning around, her eyes instantly gleaming with happiness as she finds Joel.

"Joel!!!" She says as she runs over and hugs him, Zachary jumping out of Joel's arms onto the ground.

"Mumma!!" Joel yells as he hugs her, sobbing quietly

Y/N stepped away a bit letting them have their moment.

"Thank you for finding him! He's always roaming around..pet stores...or just everywhere in general...I'm so sorry for his careless actions...and all the inconveniences he has caused you..." Joel's mother apologizes

"Oh not at all...He wasn't a bother at all.." Y/N's mother reassures

"Joel...at least next time don't go around without telling your mum! If you want a pet come over to my place...We can play with Zachary together..." Y/N says as she smiles at him, holding her mother's hand

"Okay..I will." Joel says smiling at her as he pets Zachary one last time...

"Bye Joel! See you...well...soon?" She says as she walks off..

That was how it all began...After that, one day he had turned up at her place surprisingly...They were next door neighbours...And eventually they spent a lot of time together..which lead to their everlasting friendship which began at the age of 6..

~ ~ ~

"Joel...when am I going to see you again?" Y/N asks as she lazily sat on his bed whilst she helped him with her luggage.

"Around 9 months...I'll be back soon.." Joel says as he puts in another shirt

"Oh come on...that's technically the entire year!" Y/N comments as she rolls her eyes

"I swear I would have taken you if it wasn't for your Fashion Designing Course..If that had been completed..then you could have joined.." Joel says as he stuffs in something else

"Yeah yeah..it's important right...I'm going to miss you Jo..." She says as she looks at him

"Me too..I wish there was something I could do.." Joel says as he walks over towards her.

"Just promise that you'll facetime me before all your performances..and just text me once at least every day...send me those lame audios of yours...I don't care.." Y/N says as she holds his hand...

He was still here...not gone..why did he have to leave?

"Hey...I'll text you and call you everyday.. You're my best friend...If I wouldn't call you.. who else would I?" He asks as he holds her hand and hugs her

~ ~ ~

"Wow! That was a spectacular show right boys?" Joel asks obviously excited as he walked behind the stage...

"Yes..exhausted but overwhelming..." Richard replies as they walk into the room backstage

Zabdiel immediately falls onto the couch, Erick cools off, Chris begins to fix his hair

"God..Why hasn't Y/N even seen my message! She didn't even facetime me today or even call me! Isn't that just mean?!?" Joel comments as he slumps onto the couch

"Yes...call her mean and every other negative word you could think of Ho-eL! She brought her arse from miles away, sat on a 13 hour flight just so she could surprise her best friend and yet you call her that?" A voice speaks from behind him

"Wait...a minute..." Joel trails as he instantly turns behind and sees Y/N

"Y/N- - !!!!" His tone surprised and shocked as he leaps off the couch and hugs her, a few years falling through his cheeks in the rush of excitement.

"Curls!!" She yells as she hugs him.

They hug on forever none of them every wanting to let go...Until an intentional cough from the guys pulls them away

"Ah...err...Guys! Meet my bestie Y/N!" Joel says as he grabs her hand heading towards the boys

"We talked Curls...I talked to everyone and they all helped me hide...You guys were amazing...The performance was just fantastic!" She comments as the boys yell out a chorus of thanks

"Okay so everyone except me knew that you were here?" Joel asks

"Duh curls...I couldn't sneak into backstage without their help..." Y/N says referring to the boys.

Joel grabbed her arm and pulled her into an empty room and pulls her into a hug again

"I'm so glad to have you here...Thank you for the support.." Joel says

"Wow wow...I never knew I'd see a sweet side of you Joel..." Y/N remarks

"Shut up and just hug me..." Joel says rolling his eyes

She returns the gesture as they kept hugging, an odd source of comfort filling both their veins.

~ ~ ~

"Joel...this is beautiful..." Y/N comments as she looks around the woods.

It was a small forest sort of place filled with thick green trees and a small river which gleamed with reflections of the littered stars that laid scattered in the skies.

"I know right..." Joel says as he looks at the river and at her..

They spent a lot of time making jokes and just talking about life...he had just returned from tour a few days before and thought he ought to spend some quality time with his best....friend...

He almost sighed at his own thoughts..he had begun to have feelings for her...but he didn't want to let them interplay..he didn't want to lose her...he needed her as a friend at least in his life..his feelings didn't have any part in this...but he couldn't help but wonder everytime she smiled..was she thinking about him? Did she think of him..as something more than a friend?

"Joel..Joel...HOEL!" Y/N yells.

Joel's eyes widen in shock as he falls off the log he sat on because of how loud she yelled and how distracted he was..

"Oh god...you are so clumsy sometimes Curls! Wait..actually all the damn time!" She says as she holds out her hand, Joel gratefully accepting her extended hand as she pulls him up.

"Look at that Y/N..My hand was made to fit into yours..” Joel comments as he sits up

Y/N face floods with a tint of pink as she nervously laughs it off..but never lets go off his hand..

"Of course you dummy...We are besties so god made sure it would work that way.." She replies uneasily

"Y/N I want to tell you something.." He says interrupting her from speaking further

An awkward moment of painful silence fills the air...

"What is it Joel?" She asks nervously

"It's.. it's..." Joel begins but his anxiety kicks in.

"If you don't tell her now...you'll never tell her or know if she felt the same.. you'll probably live in regret but you have to! " His inner voice encourages as he takes a deep breath

"I...I like you..." He breathes out

"I like you too Joel! You are my best fr- -" Y/N begins

"No Y/N...I like you more than a best friend.. you make me feel warm and mushy on the inside..I don't feel anything else around anyone else...You make me feel safe, happy. You understand me...We fight..but that's only because you care..but I like you in a different manner...You make me want to the cringy -est stuffs like taking couple pictures, share smoothies together, go on dates...and make me wanna dance with you in between an army of fireflies under the moonlight and what nots.. and to think that you make these cliché activities look normal...that's weird and definitely not something I feel one fine day.. I knew I always had these feelings..But I realized them...only recently...I understand if you don't feel the same..but just so you know I'll keep loving you..on and on..." He finishes off

"Who said I never had feelings for you Joel?" She asks "Every night... I'm just waiting and wondering if you have found someone that'll make you feel like that..Because why not? There are millions out there..prettier, hotter and just beautiful girls out there waiting for you so why would you choose me over them? Yeah... nothing.."

"Y/N I don't care...for you were..are the only girl I've had my eyes on...from the start.. today and forever..." Joel says as he holds both her palms. (I'm low-key swooning 🤧)

Before she could answer, Joel extends his free hand and pulls her up.

They walk over towards a place where the moonlight reflected brightly and the clear water flowing gently, causing small ripples as if it was singing a song.

"Well...can I have a dance with you?" Joel asks as he extends his hand out in a sorta gentleman style

Y/N nods softly as she takes his hand, his hand instantly softly interlocking with hers as she rests her free hand on his shoulder, his free hand holding a space above her waist securely..

As they began to softly dance in sync, an army of fireflies had encapsulated around them causing her to smile wide.

"Look Joel...True to your 'cliché' wishes..the fireflies are here..." Y/N jokes about it as Joel's face floods with a bright pink colour.

They enjoyed the overall aura, the silence suddenly turning comfortable...as they merely enjoyed each others' presence without any words being exchanged.

"So..Y/N..." Joel begins

"Hmm?" She asks as they continue dancing

"Will..will you be my girlfriend?" He asks nervously

Y/N stops dancing as she tries to catch Joel's gaze..but the boy would look at anyone or anything but her..

Y/N stood on her toes as she holds his face with both hands as she stares at his beautiful dark brown orbs, her eyes filled with nothing but love..that too only for him.

Joel looks at her nervously and before he could speak anything, she softly presses her lips against his. He instinctively bends down a bit to reach upto her height as his hands wrap around an area a bit above her waist.

She pulls away, Joel's arms still firmly fixated above her waist as he looks at her

"Did that answer your question Pimentel?" She asks, her tone filled with sassiness

"For real Y/N?" He asks in disbelief

"Yes Joel..For real...I promise you...I'll be there for you..." Y/N says as Joel smiles

"I love you Y/N.." He says

"I love you only..Joel Pimentel.." Y/N says as Joel pulls her in for another kiss.

✓ ✓ ✓

The Ending kinda sucked tbh...but anyways hehehe... I'll try to improve! 😅🙃

[dearosamu]

DESPERADO - EVLAVEIA

SYPNOSIS: she, a dancer with personified problems all the while more that intrigues osamu dazai who came into her life amidst the chaos that is [name] [last name].

WARNING/S: none

END.

"are you positively sure?"

"for the love of - jesus, dazai, yes!" [name] screeches exasperatedly at her phone. he's been constantly interrogating her of the decision of living with him. in which, she seems to no longer have any qualms of doing so. it was annoying having being spammed by various texts and missed calls first thing in the morning.

"listen, we'll meet you soon, alright? now stop bombarding my phone, you big dummy." dazai whines at her words, but she hung up before he could say another word. he was such a handful.

yumeno hurriedly rushes past down their old hallway, own luggage rolling behind him as he held marga on one hand. the female takes one last look around her small, old apartment, taking in the near empty space of what she previously called her home.

this house contained lots of memories. to struggles, to few happy moments she had with yumeno. to the mere memory of having lived here with yumeno's father.  even so, she probably won't miss it. the dull colors of the wallpaper feels unimaginative with life. it felt as if there was a somber air lingering around the place, recollection of old wounds somehow fresh in the mind.

things have taken a drastic turn once dazai and [name] have talked it out. on a much more deep and personal level. they've helped each other come in tune with their feelings more. they've settled on about it like adults. it was a good change, she thinks. at an ever so agonizing pace, she's begun to develop strong feelings for him. romantic feelings - as much as she tries to deny it.  still, upon learning they'd have a better home to live in, yumeno was ecstatic. it appears she wasn't the only one who felt an extensive amount of adoration for dazai. in yumeno's case, a possible father figure in place of the years he grew up without one.

ever the impatient of the two, dazai had convinced oda of lending her his chauffer to aid them with their luggage and transport - or in dazai's words, the operation of baby birds leaving the bird nest (quite silly and unnecessary, really). thankfully, oda had much obliged, seeing as how dazai really cared for the woman who now resides in his home.

dazai could be seen pacing back and forth beyond the gates of his. he was obviously tense yet very much impatient. yumeno ran into his arms as soon as the car was parked. a small but genuine smile curled up from the corners of [name]'s lips, the adorable sight in front of her sending a familiar feeling of warmth through her heart.

as yumeno departed from dazai, - who now speed-walked into his new house - [name] came up to him, greeting the male with a small kiss to the cheek. he takes her suitcase from her as he tries to not let it fluster him, choosing to wrap a free arm around her shoulders to lead her into their home.

"okay, so yumeno has his own room over there. you can choose any room that you'd like though." he plops the suitcase near the couch.

"does your room count too?" [name] giggles. dazai nearly choked on his own spit.

"i-if that's what you want, then sure."

the female once again cracks a wide grin, hunching over to muffle her chortles. "oh my god, stop-"

"stop what?"

"being such a baby. you're acting like a teenager with a crush," she snorts. dazai dismisses her comment, offering a lopsided smile.

"whatever helps you sleep at night, [name]."

"you can leave anything that involves affection with me instead. you don't have to force yourself to act different if you don't want to," she chuckles. "just be yourself around me."

"but i want to spoil you," dazai pouts. after countless times of being rejected from a while ago, he wanted to do more for her. he was deprived of love and want. he wants to be selfish with her, if that wasn't obvious enough.

"and you will get as many chances as you want. for real this time," she coughs as the brunette seemed to beam at her statement. he had a total switch for his little mood swings - something she personally found funny and stupid in a weird way. [name] moves to sit on the couch, nestling in comfortably in the spacey plush texture of the cushions.

dazai felt semi-giddy on the inside. she looked quite adorable sprawled out on the burgundy colored couch with a relaxed expression adorning her features. he wanted to give himself a pat on the back for thinking up and suggesting that she should live with him. not only was he going to be surrounded by the presence of two people he cared most about, he gets to see more of [name]. more of her vulnerable and soft side - the side he didn't think he'd be able to see.

and most of all, he'd be surrounded in more of her endearment.

yumeno came running back from his own room, a wide smile on his face as he rushed into dazai face first into the taller's abdomen. the former looks up to dazai, hands still having a tight grip on him as he hugged his legs. "thank you so much for my new room, osa-chan!"

"do you like it, q-chan?"

yumeno hums in approval. "mhm! i love it!" he released his hold on the brunette, diving face first into the arms of the woman situated on the couch. "hey, kaa-san, if we live together with osa-chan, does that make him my new dad?"

dazai stares at the child in [name]'s arms with wide eyes. the female sputters at yumeno's words, telling him to unpack his things back in his room. he giggles and wordlessly returns to his own room, leaving the two adults again in the living room.

"sorry if that bothered you. it's partially my fault yumeno let that slip," she scratched her cheek, avoiding his gaze.

dazai thinks nothing of it, silently chuckling to himself. "new dad, huh? it didn't exactly bother me. it's just surprising. i didn't really think of myself as a good father figure, much less have someone call me a dad."

"really? not even daddy?" she laughs as dazai's cheeks flushed with color, avoiding his hand that came up to flick her forehead. "kidding! don't flick my forehead - it gets so red and it's so annoying! - aH STOP!" she yelped as dazai lunges at her on the couch, wrestling with one another like children. nimble fingers tickle her sides, making her break into giggles as she pathetically slaps his arms to make him stop. after a while, he just laid on top of her, nuzzling in her comforting warmth, inhaling her sweet scent. this was nice, he thought. [name] gave up on her attempts of pushing him off, raising a hand to run her fingers through his soft, chocolate locks of hair.

it was a feeling like no other for him; to be able to dwell and mold into her body to his like there wasn't a problem in the world - to have his gaze fixated on her soul, painting a picturesque image of forever to capture her ever so captivating beauty. dazai's heart flutters with every fleeting moment. the serene silence comforting as he listens to her steady heartbeat. intimacy isn't just sex. intimacy is this. intimacy is her. to elicit the vulnerable-like state of him where he doesn't have his guard up for once is relaxing. it allows him to take a breather.

she allows him to let go of that facade he's kept up for so long.

"marry me," he mutters, voice muffled as his head was buried in soft material of clothing. her hand stills on his head, grip gentle as she breathes in slowly. she felt her heart beat faster. his words igniting a feeling of tenderness and bewilderment in the female. maybe even a bit of excitement.

"you want to what?"

"i want to marry you," dazai doesn't look up at her, still choosing to hide his face on her chest. it wasn't that he was anxious for her answer, he just didn't want her to see the expression he had. he felt a mixture of embarrassment and anxiety - maybe even a bit of hope. "let me marry you someday."

[name] was still silent. dazai stiffens against her, dreading on what her answer may be. was he going too fast? maybe he picked the wrong time to say it. fuck! he's such an idiot―

"you're asking me to marry you like this?" the sound of her giggle breaks him out of his idle thinking of doubt.

"do you not want me to?"

"i never said anything like that," she patted his arm as a way of saying to move, shifting into a sitting position. they both sat cross-legged on the couch, facing one another with stares of longing and apprehension. taking a hold of both of dazai's slender, calloused hands, rubbing circles on his knuckles as some way to calm his heart - more so like to calm her own.

"wanna know something?"

"what is it?"

"i love you, osamu." she leans in close to give him a small peck near the corner of his right eye, her soft, plump lips against smooth, vanilla-like skin. the pale complexion under the brunettes gaze blossoms with a tint of pink. silence surrounds them again, save for the rapid thumping of their hearts that ached in blissful pain against their chests. it felt like their hearts were about to explode from the sheer euphoria.

"really?"

the female gives a firm nod of affirmation, smiling wide. "i really do and besides," she crawls over to his lap, now burying her face on the soft material of his clothes. he felt so warm. he felt like a safe-haven in spite of the loathsome state of the world. dazai takes a hold of one of hands, laying small kisses on her palms as she continued.

"you shouldn't be nervous. i'll be with you on every step of the way."

"i couldn't have asked for much more."

he wouldn't change this for anything less.