#she got yassified now

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

oh boy

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Looking for screen caps from the birth and I saw this and If Taissa was grabbing me like that I'd be yelling too. Loosen that grip, bro. Leave room for Jesus, Tai 😭 Did the other Tai step in here for a second? Tai heard "squeeze" and thought Misty was talking to her 😭😭

[lonelyzarquon]

concerning the whole kate stewart is holding hands with a random guy situation: i don't like it + that's how i needed the episode to end:

[formulapisces]

my very stereotypically british, ‘manly man’ dad just sent this to me:

“Cardigan 🥰”

[ssruis]

I don’t think tsukasa would wear colorful makeup or paint his nails or wear cute hair clips or do anything fun with his hair on his own. but I do think saki treats him like free real estate for all of those things & he is very happy to do it. She asked if she could practice painting his nails when she was little and did a really bad job and he wore it with pride until he had to take it off for school (he very upset by this until he realized it also meant saki got to do it again & she eventually got really good at it). It snowballed from there and now that saki’s back home and able to do fun makeup and stuff there’s a nonzero chance that if you knock on the tenmas door & tsukasa answers he will look like you put him through a yassified filter.

[cordycepsfem]

I was doomscrolling on TikTok and was presented with a video of a six-years-old girl, let me repeat, six-years-old girl, showing her morning routine to go to school.

This blonde little child wakes up at 4.30am to get ready for first grade. She sleeps with hair curlers in. She has a skincare routine. She talks like a girl four times her age, using the "female influencer" voice, a tone that's demure and pretty and high-pitched and completely unnatural, all words kept soft.

Six-years-old, and already so thoroughly groomed by beauty standards and what is expected of women.

It was horrifying, but what truly got to me were the comments: half were rightfully shocked, and the other half were stuff like "ok, but why did she slay?"

Leave children alone. Stop encouraging this behavior and treating it as normal. Enough parents exploit their children as is, and seeing this new wave of exploitation being celebrated as "yassified girlboss slaying power" makes me want to throw up.

Children should not be on social media. Not consuming it, not being the “stars” of it. They should ideally have no idea it exists. That might sound harsh but if a 6-year-old wants to get up at 4:30 am to do skincare, that’s not an idea she got from anywhere else but social media, or from other girls who saw it on social media… and her parents had complete control over her access to all of it.

Six-year-olds need 10-11 hours of sleep at night. I doubt this girl goes to bed at 6 pm. Not getting enough sleep can lead to “trouble paying attention, mood swings, behavior problems, and learning problems.” Her hair care and skin care routines are not setting her up for success in any way - children do not need multi-step, expensive skin care routines, and nothing beyond clean, tidy hair is required for school - and waking up that early and losing valuable sleep time is actually making it harder for her to learn.

So clearly she isn’t benefiting from this, so it’s time to ask - who is? Who benefits watching children use expensive skin care products and force themselves to look feminine at age six? Makeup companies. Their families who put them on social media. Who is looking out for her best interests? … because clearly it’s not her family.

This makes me so fucking sad. I remember as a kid how easy it was to get ready in the morning. Simple steps, no cosmetics required - clothes on, wash face, brush hair and teeth… breakfast and then outerwear as needed and then out the door. Even now my entire wake-up routine takes 15 minutes or less. I have more freedom than this child, who convinced herself she needs to do these things.

I hope the lawsuits filed by TikTok children in 15-20 years will be fruitful and many.

[shveris]

incorrect quotes collection, part 3

today i bring you: things that definitely happened in the canon (trust me i'm gege's pc)

part 1 part 2

megumi: any room can be a panic room if you’d just give me a fucking second

sukuna, during the heian period: i was born for politics. i have great hair and i love lying

noritoshi: poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses

miwa: this katana is actually a magic wand

momo: meet me in the inageya parking lot for a wizard duel

mai: *cocks gun* magic missile

kokichi: what the fuck is wrong with you people

yuuji: do you guys hear something?

sukuna: i hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up

satoru: what does 'take out' mean?

shoko: murder

haibara: dating

nanami: food

suguru: it can mean all three if you’re not a coward

shoko, on the phone with suguru: they’re in the kitchen again

satoru, in the background: “beat 3 eggs”… in what? hand to hand combat?

haibara, in the background: must be since nanami banned technique usage in the kitchen last thursday, remember?

suguru: gET THEM OUT OF THERE

megumi: goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out yuuji’s birthday invitations

maki: well, what are they supposed to say

megumi: “yuuji’s birthday”

panda: what do they say instead?

megumi: “yuuji's bi”

toge:

nobara: works out either way

sukuna: do you prefer gendered terms?

yuuji: i guess so

sukuna: fuck you

yuuji: where was the gendered term?

sukuna: in your mom

yuuji:

yuuji: my mom got dicked down by your twin which you ate in the womb

sukuna:

satoru: goodness me, it’s the perfect day for our hiking trip! bless mother nature

megumi, out of breath: mother nature is a WHORE

yuuji: what’s up guys? i’m back

megumi: what the- you can’t be here. you’re dead. i literally saw you die

sukuna: death is a social construct

satoru: died and came back as a cowboy, i call that reintarnation

nobara: wow, i don’t even get the joke but it sounds funny

megumi: that’s nOT. THE. FUCKING. POINT.

nobara: what the fuck yuuji, what are you doing here!?

yuuji: i missed you guys!

megumi: you just survived a car crash

nobara: the doctors said you have internal bleeding

yuuji: yeah, and? isn’t that where blood’s supposed to be?

megumi: i need to sit down…

these two are how yuuji's comeback should've went...

shoko: yeah, i'll smoke a joint tonight, but let's not get too crazy

*4 hours forward to shoko, suguru and satoru getting arrested for blocking the main road in large traffic cone costumes*

nobara: the only thing i'm guilty of is being gorgeous… and also assault with a hammer

satoru, on the night of the war delcaration: suguru, i’m sorry. i can’t keep seeing you anymore

suguru: no shit, you’re always wearing that blindfold

satoru: suguru… no…

nanami: gojo, we have a problem

satoru: what, the fire?

nanami: no, the- wait, what fire?

satoru: oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting

shoko: that was a joke. say ha

nanami: ha

shoko: now do it again

nanami: ha

shoko: congratulations, you are officially the life of the party

satoru: i would let you ruin my life

suguru: sorry, i’m busy ruining my own. you’ll have to wait

satoru, turning to suguru: my dick stopped breathing. it’s in desperate need of cpr

suguru: you’re in desperate need of a beating

shoko: or a lobotomy

suguru: both

shoko: if the beating is hard enough, it’ll count as a lobotomy

satoru: i always knew you guys were homophobic

satoru: none of those words are in the bible

shoko: psalm 119:105. “and jesus said unto his followers, should a manlet incel attempt to mansplain the blockchain to a girlboss, may she waste his time and yassify his blorbos”

suguru: he did not fucking say that

megumi: i taught my dog a new trick *throws ball* fetch!

dog: *just stands there*

noabara: he didn’t do it

megumi: that's because i taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself

suguru: i’d kill someone if you asked me to

satoru: i’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if i didn’t ask you to

megumi: if bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why did my dad sell me to the zen'in clan?

nobara: i thought i was going to have to yell at you, but now i think i should hug you

sukuna, on yuuji's cheek: the real secret to immortality? not dying. you want to be immortal? okay, that’s easy. just don’t die. that’s it. refuse to die. there you go.

yuuji: but how-

sukuna, ignoring him: “but how” you may ask. well, easy. just don’t do it. refuse to. say “no, fuck you”

nobara: i'm not creepy

nobara: i'm petty

nobara: there's a difference, ya know

waiter: what would you like?

yuuji: a milkshake with two straws

megumi: *blushes*

yuuji: *puts both straws in his mouth* watch how fast i can drink this!

haibara: ieri-san, is that my mug you’re drinking out of?

shoko: no, it’s mine

haibara: it… looks just like the one i have…

shoko: you don’t have one like this anymore

megumi: i'm a witch. i mixed some herbs and crystals together and now all my shikigami know the f-word

nobara: which one?

megumi: what do you mean?

nobara: there's more than one f-word

yuuji, entring the room: you talkin' 'bout faggots?

megumi: why would we talk about cigarettes?

sukuna: i'll offer you some friendly advice-

yuuji: i don't want your advice

sukuna: well, then consider it unfriendly advice

jjk manga ends in 30 days which means i'm gonna nap on the highway after that last chapter drops :muscle:

[marvelobsessed134]

Living dead girl

This is part of my spooky summer series! You can find the masterlist on the pinned post on my profile!

For the record, the reader is like a yassified zombie with a few blemishes lol. Think Ghoulia Yelps.

Parings: Paul x Zombie!Reader

Warnings: smut, fingering (f receiving), non verbal consent/communication, reader can’t talk, reader is dirty like actually she has dirt on her and shit

Paul wandered throughout the woods for no reason at all. He just wanted to be away from the boys for a while. Living with them all the time and being almost confined to the boardwalk of Santa Carla can get old. Suddenly he heard a noise.

The blonde’s head turned to see a human like figure by a tree. He decided to get a closer look. You were nothing like he’d ever seen before.

Greenish skin, wounds all over, green hair. You looked undead. “Uh, hi. Sorry for disturbing you. I’m Paul.” He said.

You examined the man, he seemed harmless so you limped your way towards him. Paul noticed you were like a zombie. Except zombies aren’t this beautiful and human looking…right?

Looking at him, you felt something you haven’t felt in a long time since you died…arousal. He had long blonde hair, beautiful eyes, and a gorgeous physique.

Suddenly your hand reached out and caressed his leather jacket. Paul watched your movements carefully, in case he had to defend himself. But he could tell you were probably not going to cause any harm.

“What’s your name?” He asked. You tried to speak but remembered that your vocal cords are basically dead and only a grunty sound came out.

“You can’t talk?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” He asked and you nodded.

“You’re very beautiful.”

You wish you could blush, but you can’t since there’s literally like no blood in you.

“Are you a zombie?” Paul asked and you nodded once again before threading his fingers through your hair. Obviously it was quite dirty just like the rest of your body but he didn’t care. He found it quite erotic.

Suddenly you gripped his shoulders to hoist yourself up as you pressed your lips to his. Paul was shocked for a moment before kissing you back, feeling the chapped texture of your lips. But again, he didn’t care. He found you so erotic. Sexy. Exotic.

His hands wandered your body and tore away your already ripped up dress he laid you down on the ground and fondled your breasts, tweaking your hard nipples. You moaned, feeling so overwhelmed by this feeling you haven’t had in so long. Years. Ever since 1969 when you got bitten by a zombie and passed away on your way to Woodstock. But now, you feel a little more human again.

The blondes’ hands trailed down your body to your pussy that was soaked with slick. He rubbed your clit with his index finger making you jerk up, then he entered your hole, thrusting his finger in and out while his thumb creeped up to your clit, rubbing it in tight circles.

You were a moaning mess as he did this, digging your nails inside the moist dirt ground. “Holy fuck this pussy is so good.” The vampire groaned as he continued to stimulate you till you clenched around his fingers with a loud cry as you came.

He didn’t waste anytime licking your cum off his fingers.

“Hey, I have a place with my friends. I can help you get cleaned up and stuff…you won’t have to be alone anymore.” Paul suggested. Your eyes widened. The offer was very kind but you were afraid that it might be some kind of trap. You decided to take the risk and you nodded your head yes.

Paul stood up and scooped you up in his arms bridal style and carried you off to the boys’ cave.

[cavernfullofexistentialdread]

Focalors’ thought process when coming up with Furina (…And Neuvillete’s subsequent freeback)

+Bonus: Little Headcanons for FocaFuri’s designs, thank you to @that-boleyn-boy for sharing this Doomed Yuri with me (Remind me to NEVER draw their full designs this took legit the entire day)

Headcanons/Designs explained under the cut (Not beta-read lol)

I was initially disappointed with Focalors’ design. Don’t get me wrong; it’s very Genshin and VERY old era Archon. But I was honestly expecting more??

Her design really pales in comparison when it comes to Furina, and although I think it’s intentional for narrative reasons; that doesn’t mean I won’t Yassify her myself

I gave her cuffs to match Furina, faded her fingertips to make her appear less human, modified her top just tiny bit, and gave her a coral coronas (the Greek headpiece). Also her hair is modeled after an Axolotl’s fins

I also gave them both matching earrings for silly goofy reasons!! Their eyes no longer match up and the dark side is always on the side of the earrings. Also they both have moles/beauty marks now on opposite sides of their mouths because it’s cute

Not much was changed about Furina’s because OH MY GOD HER DESIGN. But I did give her cape clasps to connect the sides of her suits, and a waterfall ribbon on her hat.

Furina is about three inches taller (+2 inch shoes) and has an overall lankier build. Focalor is fuller and is forever stuck at 5’2, just generally less stick twink coded. Also yes, Foca did in fact give Furina bigger tits. But she is still flat AF compared to everyone else

Don’t let the height trick you though, the split happened when Focalors got all top energy and Furina got all the bottom energy

Thank you for all your feedback, truly, @atlasvulcandar ALSO, Focalor doesn’t have eye bags, her eyelids are naturally like that. It happened with the split, Furina got all the vitality and blood so her under eye is a lot warmer.

(++Bonus) Focalor actually has similar ears to Neuvillette, “non-human elf like”. Furina’s is much less prominent in it’s pointyness, but occasionally when the wind blows people can see it.

[theninerealmsbakery]

I FINALLY got round to watching Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match and @bisexualjohnnycage was totally right! This film is EVERYTHING!

Johnny himself is amazing. He looks great (i never thought Johnny Cage and a mullet would ever go together) We need more Johnny with earrings! Also, crop top Johnny has changed me fundamentally. It was a bit strange for him to not be voiced by Andrew Bowen, but Joel McHale did a great job. Johnny is his usual flirty,cocky, asshole-with-a-heart-of-gold self.

Ashrah was kicking ass and looking good while doing it! Obsessed with the thought that she knows how to drive but doesn't know anything about movies.

Jennifer Grey was there?!? Like the Actual Jennifer Grey was Sareena????

The whole movie is COVERED in Bisexual Lighting. I have never seen so much Bisexual Lighting in my life.

It's set in the 80's! Which means great music, great vibes and great clothes!

Speaking of the clothes, Johnny really turns it out in the couple of outfits he gets. Especially the purple jacket look, i am OBSESSED. Don't think i didn't see those platforms Johnny!

Gillbert Gottfried was hilarious as always.

Chuck my beloved. (I would protect him with my life)

They yassified Shinnok. He's wearing making up. His eyebrows are on fleek. He looks like a drag queen and i fucking love it.

That one kid who shouts "Fuck him up Johnny!" while Johnny wails on Shinnok

In conclusion, this film is so Silly and so much Fun! It was a great hour and twenty minutes!

Everybody needs to go and see Cage Match right now!

[fresh-new-yoik-watah]

so, I think The Hidden World gets a lot of unnecessary hate. I definitely don’t think it’s better than the first two, but it has its own very distinct feel that separates it from the others too, and it’s very raw, and actually very real, and I think that’s why I disliked it so much when I first saw it, but i’m older now, and there’s beauty in how real it is. And there’s no reality besides an inevitable separation of Toothless and Hiccup, besides of course, a for eternity tv show just about their adventures forever and ever and ever. But, the one guarantee all of us have in life, everything ends.

First of all, that opening shot of Berk is beautiful, because as Hiccup narrates, you see the reality of living on a small island with an overflow of dragons: overcrowding and chaos. Like honest to god the first maybe like 20 minutes of this film is so perfect. Also, Hiccup interacts with other characters a lot more, a lot more chatting, and I actually felt like I was watching a fifteen year old Hiccup in an older body, like they really wrote him perfectly aged up. I didn’t even realize how little we got to really see his personality in the second film in comparison to the first and third one. I felt the movie was kinda shot a little like a tv show, in terms of camera work, it felt very off putting. it also felt off putting to have a HTTYD movie and have Hiccup mainly on the ground for most of it, but I understand why. But god is it animated beautifully, like sooooooo beautifully. 

I think the existence of the Hidden World as like a concept is dumb, and if I read that in a book I’d be like ugh no that’s so lame for story, so they’re lucky that waterfall shot is just insanely crazy gorgeous. I saw it in theaters, and that shot was mesmerizing, of them on Stormfly flying over the ocean and rocks and waterfall, like where they’re sooooo small and you really feel size, it’s so beautiful. I hate Grimmel, I hate him, he’s so stupid. I know you need a villain bla bla bla, but honestly, if it was the same movie without him and they still eventually left to the hidden world, it still would’ve worked and been a way better movie. I really wish they had written the film without an outer conflict/villain besides just like dragon raids. Really focus on Hiccup’s feelings as he navigates the new world of being chief around him, like there’s a reason he was not up in the sky for a lot of this movie, I think it would’ve been really strong to focus on how he has to come to terms that he has to let Toothless go. I hate the light fury design, I don’t hate the existence of her, and I would’ve loved tk see Hiccup get to know her and like how much he would adore her because he literally spent the last 6 years searching the world for another night fury. No problem with that. Hate that damn glitter white sparkle. I hate that she’s a my little pony doll. Why does she have to be so ROUNd????? Couldn’t have just made like a smaller version of Toothless, maybe nose is smaller and eyes are thinner, ears aren’t as long, but different eye color and keep her black like Toothless. She’s got nubs bro. Damn beluga. The end scene of this movie is like, top best clips in cinema alone. It’s perfect. So perfect. When Hiccup takes a deep breath once he’s up in the air, GOD it’s so perfect. It makes everything that isn’t great about this movie and just makes it all so worth it. Also the whimsy feel of this movie, it’s so fun. The soundtrack really brings ouch such a whimsy feeling. I also don’t like how everyone was all lowkey bullying Hiccup, but like, especially the whole, them being shocked Hiccup is surprised Toothless wouldn’t come back. Like wdym, be so for real. Of course Hiccup didn’t expect Toothless to stay away. “You have him his freedom” my ass. Also, what’s up with Valka, they yassified her. Why does she move like that. Were they trying to be, this is where Hiccup gets his gesturing from??? It just didn’t work for her, especially since she did NOT act like that in the second film. That was so strange. Also they did something to Toothless. Like they made him act like a dog, he seemed so strange. And why was he grey?????? And such a wide neck. Idk he was funky, I have no idea but it was weird. Lowkey, I loved the Hiccup and Tuffnut scenes because they’re so true to character, but yall just wanna be haters. That’s all my thoughts for now. Hiccup is yummy in this movie😮‍💨

[sunnysideaeggs]

episode 5 review! as always my dear friends, long post ahead, and remember i wrote this while i was watching and was sleepy. enjoy a piece of my mind love u ☀️💕

the smallfolk ‘caring’ for meleys as if rhaenys hadn’t killed thousands of their own a few weeks ago. ‘rhaenyra will answer this’ be fr. you should be grateful your cousin was avenged. or they kinda forgot about the dragonpit idk

now this is the kind of gruesomeness i wanted for aegon’s wounds. hear me out: he has shown his commitment to his cause. he bled and burned for the realm. only his wounds prevented him from ruling, and it won’t be permanent.

also is it me or his wounds are in the wrong side? i know in the books he’s supposed to have the right ride of his body burned, but in last episode we see aegon’s right facing vhagar’s fire. condal answer pls

i fucking hate aemond. he sees his brother, his king, in the verge of death and all he cares is about power. book aemond would never.

gotta love rhaenyra’s 🧐❓ face in the council. she’s not prepared for this she’s so confused i love emma’s faces lol

lmao a valid concern of lord broome is dismissed as MysoGYNy. daemon left because rhaenyra allowed it, she’s not attending council, she ignores problems, she doesn’t know how to act. his complaints are valid, rhaenyra should be grateful he’s giving advice and loyalty instead of demanding praise in top of all.

now this is ridiculous. canon rhaenyra was out of question for battle because she was resting after a terrible miscarriage (which is one of the only points i give her: she was doing what was best) but are we supposed to believe that eeeevery time miss rhae wanted to go to battle and eeeeevery time her council dissuaded her? 💀

baela sidelined and admitting she’s being used as a shield for jacaerys, accepting that. consoling her fiancé instead of being consoled for the lost of her grandmother. girlie has red eyes from crying but she still has to center a man.

‘the brackens are from the seven hells’ aren’t you a follower of the old gods? be consistent.

daemon of all people being ‘diplomatic’ 😭

looool lady jeyne complaining that the dragons she got from shein aren’t the right size. well babe if you sent two baby dragons i’ll sent my 15k swords with a 2 year delay. fair game.

we got a scene of rhaena crying for lucerys, but not rhaenys. she was basically the twins’ mother since they were kids but they don’t mourn her?

rhaenyra complaining she got a position in viserys’ council and was taught diplomacy from a young age, but believes that sword training would’ve been more useful 💀 of course she takes that boring council stuff for granted so much she doesn’t use it.

‘if i must be suplicant to my own husband what does that make me?’ a woman. a wife.

this quote summarizes how rhaenyra is so disconnected from the experiences of women in her world, so much she can’t fathom them for herself. she’s so singled out that not even the next most powerful women in the realm (alicent and helaena) are free from being supplicant to their husbands.

they wanna give the smallfolk’s favor to the blacks? 💀💀💀 if this is foreshadowing for the storming of the dragonpit i riot.

so you agree? dragons choose their riders and don’t care for inheritances? good to know.

rhaenyra is so memememe all the time ew. can’t focus on anyone else for five minutes without asking for something. i just know she would be so tiring to be around.

DAEMON’S MOMMY ISSUES 🤨🤨🤨 that shit will haunt me. also they de-yassified alyssa smh

daemon being trapped in a haunted castle and a diplomatic hell is funny af. now he knows what otto always yapped about.

and he still is delulu about being king. some things never change

my poor king :(

lmao as if alicent had ever one ounce of power without otto. and as if she isn’t dismissed by the council every day of the week. girl you can’t even rule over your sons sit down

alicent would’ve had a lot more power and influence if she had played her cards right and treated aegon a little better. fafo.

larys wanting criston to say shit so alicent gets mad at him 😂

i would like an explanation for why random peasants are so loyal to rhaenyra when they don’t know her, she’s very polemical and she would sneer at the sight of them. writer’s nonsense again

also another nonsense is the crown not having coin. they literally have the whole treasure, so much they can play with it for plot related reasons that will be important later

that dog cared for cheese more than alicent cared for aegon.

nooo poor ali 😭😭😭 the king looked to you for advice and you spurned him. now there’s another one in charge and he’s not so eager for your opinion.

jace comparing vermax to vhagar 💀 babe you can’t compete when you don’t compare

daemon rn: day’s never finished, master’s got me working, someday master’ll set me freeee 🪓🎶

and he’s shading rhaenyra lmao

alys is so cryptic and unhinged i love her

baela being more loyal to her stepmother than her grandfather 💀 well it’s not like corlys ever defended her before so idk

gotta love how all of the discord and resentment is resolved by ✨ girl power✨

‘driftmark must pass to salt and sea’ was lucerys salt and sea? is joffrey salt and sea? be truthful. look at me in the eyes.

FINALLY SOME BLACKWOOD SLANDER

i hate the blackwoods during the dance for the shit they did. the septs, the pillaging, those atrocities are brushed over because of george’s bias. i didn’t expect a lot from the show but i’m pleasantly surprised.

i love that riverlands’ lady. i love all of the riverlords now. i think people forget that the brackens have decent relationships with most other houses and only have a very specific rivalry with a very specific house that just happens to be a pet of george.

also how did they get to harrenhal so fast? i forgot to mention how it’s so surreal for armies and people to travel so fast. how did jace got to the twins and was right on time for dinner the same day?

i just know the aemondwives will have a field day with the scene of aemond looking at the throne. that camera descending? now that’s what i’m talking about.

helaena asking the real questions here.

an answer????

egg 😭😭😭 he deserves so much more. his panting, his burns, he looks like a sick child and this is the first time we see someone giving him a gentle touch

i love alicent’s dress. you son is battling with the stranger and you’re serving cunt? helaena is with the same dress from ep2 and alicent has a new wardrobe 😵‍💫

MUMMY 😭😭😭

i’d like alicent praying for aegon. they made religion a big part of her character just to erase it this season or conveniently point the finger at her for ‘sinning’. we get alicent praying for lucerys and viserys but are we supposed to believe she wasn’t praying by aegon’s bedside? we could get an interesting parallel with catelyn and bran there.

rhaenyra wanting to be visenya 💀 girl visenya would kill everyone who said she couldn’t fight or rule or anything else. if rhaenyra can’t stand up to her council she can’t stand up to her enemies.

jace proposing the dragonseeds yay

rhaenyra dismissing the idea of dragonseeds because ‘their blood is thin’ but not recognizing the actual danger of giving a dragon to someone unrelated to the targs (something that will be important to the plot later) shows exactly where her priorities are.

i wanted more helaena. i wanted more aegon. smh

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 2

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

With a rabble like this, Laurent’s pretty face wasn’t doing him any favours. Damen must have heard a dozen slurs and sly insinuations before he’d even saddled his horse. No wonder Aimeric had been furious: even Damen, who had frankly no objection to men slandering Laurent, was finding himself annoyed.

“he’s a bitch but he’s OUR bitch” 😤

They would not be riding in a straight line south. Instead, it was to be a two-week journey southwest through the Veretian provinces of Varenne and Alier, their route hugging the Vaskian mountain border. It was a change from the direct route that had been planned by the Regent, and Laurent had already sent out riders to inform the keeps.

already, damen’s involvement in laurent’s life is starting to mess with the regent’s plans. GOOD.

As the night wore on, Laurent had abandoned his deliberate comportment for a relaxed, youthful pose, drawing one knee up to his chest and slinging an arm around it. Damen had found his gaze drawn to the easy arrangement of Laurent’s limbs, the balance of wrist on knee, the long, finely articulated bones. He had been aware of a diffuse but growing tension, a sensation almost like he was waiting . . . waiting for something, unsure what it was. It was like being alone in a pit with a snake: the snake could relax, you could not.

laurent: literally just vibing during a strategy sesh damen: He Is Going To Bite Me So Hard Any Second Now

If Laurent had slept at all, he hadn’t done so in the Regent’s bed.

>:(

Laurent’s pre-dawn arrival and whatever cold bitchy remarks he had made—sharpened by a night without sleep—had been enough to eject the Regent’s men out of their beds and into a semblance of lines.

There was no immediate disaster.

really setting your expectations high here, damen

Laurent looked like a figurehead, eye-catching and useless.

There was going to be a fortnight of this, with a fight at the end of it. Damen set his jaw, kept his head down and got on with the work he had been assigned. He saw to his horse and his armour. He pitched the Prince’s tent. He moved supplies and hauled water and wood. He washed with the men. Ate. The food was good. Some things were done well. The sentries were posted promptly, and so were the outriders, taking up position with the same professionalism as the guards who had watched him in the palace. The site of the camp was well chosen.

damen should have a tv show where he yassifies military camps to his personal standards. like queer eye

‘I heard you were good at carrying tales. And what will you be doing while Jord stops that fight?’ ‘Getting massaged,’ said Damen, succinctly.

“succinctly”

‘Well? Attend me,’ said Laurent. ‘Attend,’ said Damen. The word sank into him. He felt as he had in the training arena when he had been unwilling to go near the cross. ‘Have you forgotten how?’ Laurent said. He said, ‘The last time, this did not end pleasantly.’ ‘Then I suggest you behave better,’ said Laurent.

It was the normal duty of a body servant to dress and undress his master. Laurent accepted the service with the indifference of one long used to attendance. The opening in the brocade widened, revealing the white of an undershirt pressed warm against skin by the heavy outer fabric, and by armour atop that. Laurent’s skin and the shirt were the exact same delicate shade of white. Damen pushed the garment over Laurent’s shoulders and just for a moment felt, beneath his hands, the hard, corded tension of Laurent’s back.

in a theater au, these two would go fucking crazy doing each other’s mics

On the table was the familiar map, weighted by three oranges and a cup. Arranging himself in the chair opposite Damen, casual in pants and undershirt, Laurent picked up one of the oranges and started peeling it. One corner of the map rolled up. ‘When Vere fought Akielos at Sanpelier, there was a manoeuvre that broke through our eastern flank. Tell me how that worked,’ Laurent said.

this is so domestic ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

He caught the wooden practice sword instinctively when Orlant tossed it to him. ‘You any good?’ ‘Yes,’ said Damen.

yes bitch!

‘That’s right. You don’t like fights,’ said Orlant. ‘You prefer going behind people’s backs.’

is this because he breaks up fights and reports to laurent? tf do you want him to do (fiercely defend his prince, i knowww)

‘Afraid to spar?’ said Orlant. ‘No,’ said Damen. ‘Then what? Can’t fight?’ said Orlant. ‘You’re only here to fuck the Prince?’ Damen swung.

“I CAN DO MULTIPLE THINGS”

Damen supposed he should feel flattered that Laurent had set his best swordsmen to guard him in the palace.

they're so "i can't decide" by the scissor sisters

‘You were looking for me?’ Laurent didn’t answer, and Damen couldn’t interpret his expression. ‘What is it?’ said Damen. ‘You’re better than I am.’ Damen couldn’t help his amused breath of reaction to that, or the long, scrolling look from Laurent’s head to his toes and back again, which was probably a little insulting. But really. Laurent flushed. The colour hit his cheeks hard, and a muscle tightened in his jaw as whatever he felt was forcibly repressed. It was not like any reaction that Damen had ever seen from him before, and he couldn’t resist pushing it a little further. ‘Why? Do you want to spar? We can keep it friendly,’ Damen said. ‘No,’ said Laurent.

this might be the first moment where laurent is clearly flustered by damen in a non-disgusted way. the blush!!! i think laurent finds competence very attractive, especially in areas where he also excels. with some people it can just be a matter of platonic respect, but in this case it’s almost certainly hot to him that damen is such an impressive swordsman—even better than laurent himself.

‘When I fought Govart,’ said Damen, ‘I had my lungs full of chalis.’ Another slow nod. ‘I’m not sure how it is in Akielos,’ said Jord, ‘but . . . you shouldn’t take that stuff before a fight. Slows your reflexes. Saps your strength. Just some friendly advice.’ ‘Thank you,’ said Damen, after a long, drawn out moment had passed.

it doesn’t even occur to jord that laurent drugged damen before the fight. shows how highly he thinks of laurent, and gives us a hint about laurent’s typical behavior when he hasn’t just been jumpscared by his brother’s killer in chains

‘Aimeric’s not a child lured in with a honeyed treat. He’s Guion’s fourth son. He knows that his being here splits his father’s loyalty. It’s half the reason he joined me. He wants his father’s attention,’ said Laurent. ‘If you’re not here to talk to me about Aimeric, why are you here?’

laurent offering aimeric this, like, annoying your elders solidary… it’s strategic for sure, but maybe that’s a tiny part of it too?

I can’t believe you fear Govart. If you did, you’d never have set me against him in the ring.

WAIT so we’ve gone from “laurent hates me and wants me dead” to “i know you didn’t want me dead” ?? i guess it could make sense, though—laurent would have wanted to kill damen himself, right?

‘Why do you give me good advice?’ asked Laurent. Isn’t that why you brought me with you? Instead of speaking those words aloud, Damen said, ‘Why don’t you take any of it?’

this is like dirty talk to me. yessss consider each other as intellectual equals with mutual incredulity

He knew by now that Laurent never acted precipitously, but always walked away and gave himself time and space alone to think.

oh, that’s what you think? note to self: remember this line. it’ll be funny

[icarusbetide]

some of my group chat's obscure and inaccurate amrev (hamilton centric) fancasts part 1

the result of five students procrastinating and commenting "hey this guy could play hamilton". not very accurate and based on vibes. we are not scouting agents for good reason.

Alexander Hamilton

We know from people's descriptions and portraits that he most likely: had very red hair, was 5 ft 7-ish, and was slender with a "fine figure". Fun fact, some historians say that people calling him 'small' was more in regards to his slimness than his height, which was more or less average at that time period. Need to find a source for that.

From paintings we do see that he had a prominent nose...and perhaps more of a pointed chin with a slim face, as a young man? It seemed to have broadened out with age. Portraits of him seem wildly inconsistent, and the one Betsey said was very like him was later in life. Damn you Charles Wilson Peale, you never got his face right! tbh I didn't see much of Hamilton's face (especially young Hamilton) in amc Turn's Sean Haggerty who had too much of a round face, and I think he was casted based off of the peale painting lmao.

And of course, who can forget his beautiful beautiful anime blue-violet eyes. Abigail Adams saw the devil in them, Fisher Ames seems to have spent way too much time staring into them. Both accounts can be seen as complimentary.

I've yet to find an actor that really captures an older Hamilton well, so I'm not even going to go there. Honestly, i've yet to find a really spot-on young Hamilton either, so I have no fan-cast. But my friend has one she advocates for a lot:

Tom Blyth based on these specific paintings (and a de-aged one with dark hair). Her words: "he has really piercing blue eyes and we know he can pull off lighter hair from the hunger games movie! he's also very slender which would work well, even though he's pretty tall. we can do perspective work with height it's okay."

And apparently Hamilton's son (William? it's not Philip right) looked quite a bit like him. And in the sketch below I think we can see Blyth's face there!

Not too bad, I think. Especially since his face seems to have filled out more. Main concern is if the hypothetical project would characterize Hamilton well, and if he'd deliver that complicated energy lol. He is charismatic so a point in his favor?

Valentijn Dijkman is another one of my friend's fancasts so I don't know much about him besides the screenshots they shared. Apparently he is a model and tiktoker, and he certainly checks the ginger + blue eyes requirements! A bit of a yassified Hamilton, I think, but some contemporaries called him almost feminine and some descriptions of him are wild so that might be okay.

Elizabeth Hamilton

Now, we know that Betsey was very petite and had lovely dark curls and eyes that Hamilton and even Tilghman, I believe, commented on. It seems like she had a slim face and a strong T-zone. Even in the portraits we see her dark eyes. Portraits of her when she was younger:

My personal fav fan cast is actually Meg Tilly, specifically Meg Tilly in Valmont 1983. She has the dark hair and dark eyes and her facial structure itself is also similar enough to me.

There's also something in her performance here that would serve well for Elizabeth - a sweetness and patient quality plus a hidden playful streak.

John Laurens

We are all stumped for him lmao. We don't have a lot of paintings of him and the main one is a Charles Peale and I don't trust him 100%. We do know he was most likely blonde, taller than Hamilton, and was very handsome.

Coward's way out. Seth Numrich is a popular one and I wouldn't be angry about it!

George Washington

It ain't accurate but I loved Ian Kahn's Washington so much that I don't care. He's way too hot to be Washington but let's just pretend it's that hero-worship coming through.

And to round it all out, Turn Lafayette was also suprisingly accurate in face shape I think. You can see we ran out of steam at the end.

[colourful-void]

alright closing umineko for the night!! i had a great time with it so far!! i really like the writing style, and for the most part its actually a lot less dense than i was expecting. I thought it might be some house of leaves stuff but no this is pretty easy to read, at least so far! im rlly glad for that like it doesn't feel too simple, not too complicated, its good!

current character thoughts run down, though i've barely started so i dont know much yet: ginzo: he sucks he totally sucks and im convinced that he made some kidna deal w/ beatrice in order to take advantage of the earthquake and war and such. not entirely convinced hes not about to just murder the whole family bcs he seems like he would do that. krauss: also sucks. just a real dick, but in like. he's a standard asshole really. natsuhi: much in the same vien, but she's got that matriach of the family thing going on i hope will b explored more <3 jessica: she's neat i like her! looking forward to more on her. Eva: i was digging for her a while and then i saw how she treated shannon and it went out the window hideyoshi: ive yet to expirence a thought on this man George: he's very tropey in a good way and i enjoy he's friendly guy swag. looking forward to it inevitably falling to pieces rudolf: DICK!! kyrie: girl leave your husband. i can treat u better <3, im glad she has some decency but my mind aint set on her yet battler: HES SO CRINGEEEE <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 sometimes he does genuinely offput me but mostly he's just stupid <3 rosa: be a bit nicer to ur daughter, but beyond that shes chill i think. no big thoughts here. i do like her dynamic in relation to the rest of the siblings so far maria: MARIA MY DARLING MY DEAREST SHES SO SWEET AND SILLY AND CLEARLY OMINOUS I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT DARK MAGICS OVERTAKE HER OR WHATEVER <333 maria for whatever the fuck she wants 2024 love her so much no crazy thoughts on the head butler or doctor but i think in a different world the butler and ginzo had crazy gay sex shannon: shes soooo sweetie <3 suspiciously so this game wants me to like her so bad and i do <3. i am aware of one key spoilery fact about shannon uncovered in some content warnings i recieved, but its kinda fun seeing the set up for that! everyone be nicer to my girl kanon: hes suspcious but overly so and i wonder what his deal is. i also think all the servants need to be treated better this fucking furnature stuff <3 its awful i love it narratively gohda: i think he would kill someone with very little hesitation. i wanna try that panna cotta. kumasawa: shes like a grandma to me <333 i like her!!

i havent met beatrice yet but im looking forward to it she looks super neat.

i also apperciate how slow burn this is, a few hours in and very little has happened yet it's nice. there's already a lot building but like. nothing big yet it's nice. i like it. it feels like it's moving at exactly the pace it wants to and i enjoy it a lot. the sound design is also rlly good. the music is really nice a couple times i got distracted and just listened to it in the bg. the sfx r nice too.

i do not regret my sprite choice i like these designs they're fun, but i do think maria looks a little off for her alleged age of 9, but it's easy to ignore after a min or two.ironically when i was loading the game and saw her on the steam page it def aligned better, but at the cost battler to my eyes is now yassified. he cant be a pretty boy to me he's too lame.

voice acting is great everyones putting fucking everyting into it and i enjoy that. fully commited to the enviroment and its great.

where i left off: everyone just finished having lunch! kumasawa covered for shannon not knowing the red sauce's ingredients. that's all for now! not sure when ill paly more, probably tomorrow, but its been good!! good game so far i like this setg up!! im also eagar to get more into the murder and violence and witch stuff but like, it does a good joib of setting up the characters so i dont feel impatient, and unlike a lot of games w/ murder n mystery that get right into it i kinda find it refreshing how slow this one is to start its like we all know itll get there so the tension of everyone being relatively calm is great.

anyway, umineko day 1: it was good =D

[tea-potato-gt]

The Last leg of the book! We made it!

More more more memes and reactions for @marydublinauthor and @kendsleyauthor on their book “Shot in the Dark!”

Part 1 here / Part 2 here / Part 3 here / Predictions / Pirates AU

*spoilers ahead*

——————————————

Chapter 29

Jon: “We’re coming with you. We’ll see this through to the end.” (Alt: “You can’t get rid of [us] Bitch! [We’re] not going nowhere! [We’re] not going no-fuckin’-where!”)

Sylvia: “Why would you do that?”

Cliff: “After everything, you really expect us to dump you on the side of the road and keep driving?… We’re not gonna let you die.”

Chapter 30

“Loss was bitter, but falling for him was painless.”

Chapter 31

Damian: “Don’t feel too bad for Ayden. He’s the one who put the mark on Sylvia’s face.” Jon for a split second: 👀

When Melanie punched Lireal in the face: (It was personal.)

Jon: “A beast in my chest purred possessivley. Mine.” Me reading this:

Also me if a REAL man said/thought this about me

Chapter 32

Damian at Sylvia when he realizes she wants to be with Jon:

Chapter 33

*Police scanner says the cops are after Jon and Cliff and they need to leave immediately.* Me:

Cliff and Sylvia’s future matching T-shirts👕👚🔪🧚🏼‍♀️

Jon: "I wish I could kiss you." 🥲🙄 Me @ Jon: You can kiss her, no humanizing required! Pucker up those fat lips and full face smack her! It's not that hard! I don't care she's only a few inches tall! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨Kiss. 🧚🏼‍♀️Her. 🫵You. 😤COWARD!!!😡🤬😠

Thank you for coming to my ted talk 😤😤😤 😇

Hazel

The way I was not emotionally, mentally, or physically ready for this twist… 👁️👄👁️😐😑😐🫨

*Me when something large comes out of the woods towards Hazel and her Mom:*

(I will say, my first thought was this man is Sylvia's father who got yassified into a human 🤔🫡😵🫨)

——————————

Bonus:

Cliff and Sylvia’s relationship progression through out the story:

————————————

Thank you so much for reading! 😭😁🥰

I have one last post about predictions for the next book and then I’m done! … for now. 😈🫣