#she is tHE MOMENT BITC H

[inavagrant-a]

Mona enjoyers how does it feel?? How does it feel like that we simply keep winning.

[deansdelicate]

we might just get away with it

dean ambrose x fem!reader

word count: [4.7k]

warnings: no use of y/n, mild cursing & sexual innuendos, in ring action (reader is a female superstar), overall two idiots being fluffy and in love <3

summary: the four times you and dean thought you were doing a good job at keeping your relationship under wraps + the one time you both ended up getting away with it.

The camera crew found themselves huddled in the narrow corridor of the arena, a likely place for them to be seeing as though The Authority loved to handle business backstage—but of course not without protection from the forces none other than The Shield.

The three men were already inside on their marks, probably talking amongst themselves with Steph and Hunter while you waited outside, preparing for your cue.

“We’re on in 30 seconds!” a stage hand announced, meticulously checking the stop watch and monitors, ensuring the cameras were in position and ready to roll once commercial break ended.

You bounced from foot to foot, getting yourself ready as time winded down. Glancing over at the crew who gave you a thumbs up, mouthing the final 10 seconds until the show was back on air.

“Action!”

Your fist came in contact with the door, pausing for a couple of seconds before hearing a voice say “come in” from the other side. The cameras followed as you twisted the handle, stepping into the ‘office’ and bringing the boys and bosses into the audience’s view.

The boys kept to themselves on the opposite end of the room, hardened gazes glued to their faces as they stared you down.

You rose your brows at the slightly, portraying your repulsion for the faction and their allegiance to the overbearing bosses. After a brief moment, you turned your attention to Stephanie and Hunter.

“Is there something we can do for you today?” Stephanie looked up from her laptop, shutting it with a sharp slap that made you flinch just a tad.

You shook it off, taking a deep breath before you spoke with the most confidence you could muster.

“I want a shot at the championship.”

Upon hearing your demand, Triple H even looked up from his own laptop, staring at you intently before turning to his wife. The two of them letting out strings of condescending laughter that had you furrowing your brows in annoyance.

“I love the confidence sweetheart, but I think you’ve forgotten how it works around here.” He smirked, bringing his clasped hands up to rest on the wooden desk.

“You can’t just barge into our office and demand a match for the title,” Steph started with a shake of her head.

“We’ve got bigger things to handle and maybe when you start acting like champion material then we can have a talk about a title opportunity.”

She wore that signature evil smirk, your jaw clenching as your rigid hands formed into fists at your sides.

“You bitc—”

Before you could swing, a set of hands wrapped around your waist and another grabbed your wrists, stopping them from crossing the distance to Steph’s cheek. You could feel them behind you, the three of them swarming in too close, making the already cramped room feel claustrophobic.

“Let’s not do anything rash, sweet thing.”

A voice spoke low, breath fanning down your neck sending shivers up your spine, leaving you frozen.

Yet you remained cool, your game face still on as Hunter stood up, shielding his shaken up wife.

“Get her out of here,” He demanded, pointing the boys to the door and scowling at you.

“I’m gonna get my match one way or another!”

You struggled and jerked in their holds, needing to be practically dragged across the room to where Roman held the door wide open.

Seth’s hold on your wrists retracted, pushing you out into the halls, but the pair of hands on your waist that belonged to none other than Dean Ambrose remained, not daring to let you go just yet.

His fingertips dug into the dough of your hips, curbing your fight and forcing you to meet his eyes.

“Next time you pull some crap like that, we won’t be so nice.” He murmured lowly, the two of you boring right through each other.

You scoffed, tongue running across your teeth before tilting your head at him, not making any move to remove his hands from your skin.

“That so? What are you gonna do about it? Power bomb me through a table? C’mon…hit me.” You dared, jutting your chin out though he retract.

Seth and Roman let out guffaws not phased at all, and Dean joined them a few seconds later, shaking their heads at how you managed to be standing in their presence without facing retaliation.

“The Authority and The Shield stand for the same thing: Justice. And whoever defies justice, man or woman, will get what’s coming to them sooner or later.” Seth declared.

You shifted your eyes up to his, “You mean The Authority made The Shield their bitch and now they do their dirty work for them?” You snapped back harshly, watching their faces fall with rage.

Roman grunted something under his breath, shooing you off. “Run along, you don’t want problems with The Shield.”

Dean laughed, squeezing your hips again, though the cameras didn’t catch it, your eyes drifting to meet his.

“What’re you gonna do? Send a little boy toy to get your justice for you?” He mocked.

You rolled your eyes before a small smirk came onto your face. Your eyes looking down between you both an innuendo that all the fans in the building laughed and hooted at.

“Trust me, you and I both know the boys I like are far from little.”

You roughly shoved his arms off of you and walked out of view while the camera panned to the boys peering down your path.

“Cut!” The stage hand called out, already getting the crew out of the tiny space in order to head to the next segment.

You waited patiently off to the side, passing each of the crew members a smile and ‘thank you’ before you skipped back over to the office where the boys stuck around.

“You idiot!” You screeched, drawing a weak fist to Dean’s chest as he snickered and wrapped his arms around your back, drawing you into him.

“I couldn’t help myself,” He shrugged, placing a chaste peck onto your lips, letting you kiss him despite some more not caring about the obvious lipstick marks left behind.

“Off script? Really, you two?” Steph crept up from behind, letting out a laugh despite trying to be serious because even she and her husband were notorious for doing the same back in the day.

Roman shook his head, light heartedly at you two. “I really thought I missed a line in the script.” He admitted, while everyone shared a laugh.

“Is that even PG?” Seth speculated, knowing Vince would have their heads on platters because you and Dean couldn’t help yourselves with a little sexual repartee.

Hunter snorted shifting his palm side to side knowing at the very least it could get flagged with a warning from the network, but it would definitely serve some entertainment from the fans and social media.

“You know one day the fans are going to catch on that this is really a thing.” He gestured between you and Dean’s bodies, the two of you still clinging to each other closely.

You rested your chin on his chest, looking up at him with a glint in your eyes that he returned just as passionately.

“We might just get away with it.”

Meet and greets were one of the more relaxing sides to the job and it was even better that you got to do it with your boyfriend sitting just a few chairs down.

Many fans, ranging of all ages took their time, greeting you with smiles, hugs, and funny stories, wishing you luck for a title match and you secretly knew was in the works.

A little girl approached you, her parents waving at you excitedly while they trailed behind her with a camera in hand making sure to document the moment their daughter got to meet her favorite wrestler. She sported your merch, alongside a title belt across her waist—the same one you were gunning after.

“You should’ve slapped Dean for not getting his hands off you!” she quipped instantly, hands on her hips, clearly disapproving of Dean’s behavior.

You bursted into a fit of laughter as did the other superstars around you, who high-fived the young gal, applauding her about the lesson Dean Ambrose needed to learn for messing with you. Being a baby face meant kids were especially protective of their favorites, and not wanting them to be tormented by ruthless heels.

“I really should have done that! I’ll remember for next time, okay?” You promised with a giggle, bending down to give her a warm hug.

She undid the belt around her waist, flipping it over so you could sign it. The two of you exchanging small talk before a familiar voice snuck in from behind you, prompting you both to shift your attention to the man himself.

“Hey! You planning on slapping me?” Dean declared, arms crossed over his chest defensively as Seth and Roman remained at his sides.

“Yeah! Don’t touch her again or else she’s going to slap you!”

The girl stood her ground, standing up straighter and glaring harshly at your boyfriend who played along, patting his cheek with a smirk.

“I don’t think she’d risk beating up a pretty face like mine,” he teased, looking over at you with a knowing smile that only you two could read into.

You grinned through the blush covering your cheeks, shaking your head, before pointing at the fan.

“I mean I couldn’t possibly ruin a pretty face like his, but maybe you could?” You suggested, watching as her jaw dropped.

“You mean I slap Dean?” She whispered in your ear, looking at you with hesitation.

You nodded assuringly, rubbing her shoulders like you were getting her pumped up for a fight.

“Yeah c’mon show him that no one messes with the future women’s champion.”

You hyped her up and soon all the superstars joined in chanting “slap him! slap him!”

Dean did his best to hold back a smile, getting down on his knees so that the girl could reach him. His arms spread wide, nodding and egging her on.

“You won’t hit me. Come on, I know you won’t—Oww!”

The slap was tame, even for a child, just a tap with a little force behind it. Instantly the girl cowered back, wrapping her arms around your frame hugging you closely as all the superstars and awaiting fans cheered her on for standing up for you.

“Way to go!” you praised, giving her a high-five and telling her how much she’d be a great wrestler in the future, maybe even the one to take the championship from you.

Eventually Dean slightly broke kayfabe, fist-bumping the girl and pinky promising that he wouldn’t put his hands on you again. All three men posed for a picture with her, frightened and panicky expressions on their faces as the girl held up a mighty fist.

She even got you and Dean to smile for a picture with her—and somehow no one noticed the dainty “D” initial that hung from the chain around your neck.

You sat in catering, joined by Naomi and Brie, the three of you catching up on life while tuning in to the match that played over the television. It was Seth versus Daniel, with Roman and Dean who got the chance to sit in on commentary for the night.

“I saw that interaction you and Dean had with that cute fan. You guys totally made her day.” Naomi grinned, noting how the little stunt you and Dean pulled was circulating around social media.

It was met with mostly positive lighthearted reactions that somehow didn’t revolve around the rumors that you were together in real life.

“Oh, she was adorable! I just wished she slapped Dean a little harder.” You shrieked, making the girls laugh thinking of how much fun this girl must have had.

Michael Cole’s voice drew your attention back to the TV.

“Dean last week you and the boys got into some stuff backstage with a certain female superstar. I suppose The Authority has you all on high alert after Steph nearly got attacked on your watch.”

The camera panned slightly to the commentators’ desk, where Dean’s fingertips tapped against his collarbones, seemingly forgetting the match in front of him at the mention of you.

“We’re used to threats of all kinds, but usually they aren’t this pretty or alluring. And she’s feisty, I’ll tell you that much, but I doubt she’ll want to mess with The Authority as long as The Shield is around,” he replied smugly, glancing over at Roman who nodded in agreement.

“She’s also got quite the smile, if you ask me! She’s drop-dead gorgeous,” The King, Jerry Lawler, jumped into the conversation, adding a whistle for good measure.

Dean’s face twisted in distaste as he shook his head at the legend, “Jeez, relax, would you, King? I’m sure she’s into the younger, more charming kinda guys—you know, piercing blue eyes, killer body, top-notch sense of humor?”

“Are you insinuating that—”

“What Dean means is that we’re not letting her distract us. In fact, she’s history from here on out.” Roman cut in.

Interrupting Cole from finishing his sentence that was sure to get Dean in hot water for making the entire match about his in real-life girlfriend whom he was irrevocably in love with.

The girls beside you whistled and giggled like middle-schoolers, knocking their elbows into your shoulders, knowing your boyfriend couldn’t help but get a little jealous even if it was just all for fun—what could you say? Your boyfriend was more than a little protective.

“Oh, he’s obsessed with you!” Brie teased, while you hung your head low, masking your blush behind your hair.

“What he is going to be is fired if he keeps it up.” You groaned half-jokingly, raising your head when you heard the bell ring and their theme song hit.

Roman and Dean slid into the ring, lifting their brother’s arm up in victory and celebrating together before retreating backstage through the crowd. But of course Dean couldn’t miss a poster with your name written across it, smirking at the fan who wore your merch and giving his nod of approval for support.

You quickly said goodbye to the girls, tossing your plate of food into the bins and heading towards the corridor where you knew they would be coming in from. When you arrived, they just so happened to get through the doors, arena security guards shaking their hands and posing for a quick picture and then heading off.

“Really? You know being on commentary means you comment on the match in front of you? Not your girlfriend.”

You crossed your arms across your chest, leaning against the walls as you gawked feigning exasperation.

Roman and Seth snickered, swinging their heads and heading off towards the carts to recuperate, letting you and Dean have your usual banter that turned into a love fest all too fast.

“Is there something going on between you and Jerry? Because I might just put him out of retirement.” He made his way towards you, lifting a speculating brow.

You let your arms fall across his waist, a cheeky smile seeping on to your features at the thought of him truly being jealous over Jerry Lawler, of all people. Yet you didn’t hesitate to iron out his worries, staring up at him fondly.

“It’s an honor to be one of his favorite female superstars, but I can assure you it’s all one sided. My sights are strictly set on a more younger, charming guy with piercing blue eyes and an impeccable sense of humor.”

You chided, poking at his cheek, watching the dimples form when he tried to hold back his smile.

“Some might even say good with the ladies?” He added with a wiggle of his brows while you threw your head back and laughed, pushing at his chest.

“Yeah, right. I’m the only lady he’s good with.”

He nodded in agreement, pulling you closer and placing a quick kiss on your forehead.

“Let’s get out of here before I do something else that gets me in trouble.”

You linked your fingers with his, the two of you strolling back towards the main area of the arena out of the public space.

As you made your way through the dimly lit corridors, a few fans who were taking bathroom and concession stand breaks caught sight of your backs. However, they didn’t recognize you out of your wrestling attire—curiously wondering who was the mystery lady was.

Dean watched the monitors intently, his knee bouncing up and down anxiously from where he was sitting in gorilla position tuning into your championship contender match against Nikki. The final minutes were winding down, and Brie had already been ejected, sent backstage after the ref caught her trying to aid her twin in the match.

“That’s my girl!” he clapped loud, standing up as you hit your finisher and got the pin—the rest of gorilla cheering for you, knowing it was a long time coming.

You hadn’t told him the outcome of the match, and no matter how hard he tried to get it out of you, it was all worth it seeing you celebrate and get one step closer to your first championship run. When you made it up the ramp and back through the curtain, you were instantly lifted off your feet, your arms clinging around his frame before being smothered in congratulatory kisses.

“I knew you were gonna win it.” He told you, setting you down and tucking strands of your hair behind your ear.

“I think I deserve a celebration tonight, don’t you?” You whispered secretly just for the two of you to hear, both of you sharing grins before he nodded, and placed a kiss on your lips.

“I say we get our segment over with, then get out of here?” He proposed, already hearing the stage hand calling out for the two of you to get into positions backstage.

“I’d like that a lot.” You agreed, taking his hand to where a stagehand was guiding you through the short segment.

Seth, Roman and Steph were already on their marks, greeting you with hugs and salutes before needing to step out of view while the cameras set up. They would be close behind Steph, acting as her personal security personnel for when she confronted you about your match on Sunday.

“Action!”

“Well, well, well,” Stephanie clapped her hands slowly, approaching you where you sat on the carts, icing your shoulder, “Congratulations on being the number one contender for the women’s championship, I guess you are champion material after all.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, grimacing at the strain in your shoulder before standing up to face her.

“Save it, Stephanie, and cut to the chase. What’s the catch? I know you wouldn’t make it this easy for me to get what I want.”

She frowned deceptively, “Do you really think I’m that cruel?” she glanced behind her, questioning the boys, “Can you guys believe that?”

They sneered at you, shaking their heads before Steph turned her attention back to you with a heavy sigh that always meant bad news.

“I’ll have you know that I always knew that you could do it, you just needed someone to light that fire underneath you. And I’m sure you’ll get the job done this Sunday. But just to be very sure, I think The Shield wouldn’t mind a front-row seat at your championship match.”

You clenched your jaw, glaring at her, “I don’t need them causing distractions.”

Dean snorted, gesturing to himself in a self-absorbed manner, “I’m flattered sweetheart, I really am, but your attention really should be on winning.”

You turned your nose up at him, looking the other way “Oh please, don’t let it get to your head Ambrose, you disgust me on many levels.”

Steph clapped her hands, looking at the faction, then back at you.

“Well, it’s settled. The Shield will be ringside for your championship match on Sunday. And I’ll be tuning in…champ.”

With that, she strutted away, leaving you and the boys behind with the camera still focused on you four.

“Stay out of my way,” you growled, eyeing each one of them down threateningly, not wanting your one championship opportunity to be at risk.

“Don’t worry about us.” Roman shook his head, walking off first.

“Wouldn’t want to let that championship slip from right under you.” Seth cackled manically, rubbing his hands together and following suit.

Only you and Dean remained, but this time instead of words being spoken aloud for everyone else to hear, his hands came up to cup around your ear, whispering words only two would ever know.

“I’ll be cheering you on. You know I always am. And you looked sexy out there, by the way.”

He backed off with a wink, leaving you flushed despite trying to play it off as hatred.

The crowd could only wonder what Dean had said to you, and it seemed like Cole and Jerry were just as curious, speaking over commentary about some ideas. Shortly after, the cameras cut, and once again, you were lifted off your feet, Dean hoisting you up a few inches off the ground to give you a proper hug after being rushed in gorilla.

“Congrats again, and don’t forget to go over the script changes!” Stephanie reminded, smiling as she waved goodbye to you and Dean, knowing you two would be pleasantly happy with creative’s turn on the storyline.

Dean raised an eyebrow, calling out to her “Script changes?”

Stephanie grinned, looking over her shoulder towards the both of you. “Just a little tweak for the next show. You’ll like it a lot.”

As she walked away, you and Dean exchanged curious glances not knowing what the script change could be on such short notice.

“Guess we better check those out,” you shrugged tossing the melted ice pack into a nearby trash bin.

He nodded, his hand finding yours again running his fingertips across your knuckles, leaning down to murmur against your lips.

“Yeah, but first, let’s get out of here and celebrate your win. And I meant what I said earlier…you look pretty damn sexy.”

“Lead the way, baby.” You leaned in, letting your lips brush his gingerly, a lingering kiss remaining until you were left to worship the rest of it in privacy.

“Get up, AJ!” you screamed, yanking her up by the hair and throwing her down into one of the corners of the ring.

Your boot met her midsection repeatedly until the ref pulled you back, giving her a moment to catch her breath while you and the official exchanged some words in the meantime.

The Shield boys kept to themselves, spread out on all three sides of the ring, keeping an eye on the entire match and most importantly, you.

To be quite honest, it was hard for Dean to hold back on his excitement, his tongue practically bruised from biting down on it, trying not to break out of character and into smiles or cheers when you got the upper hand in the match.

They were anxiously waiting for their cue; you picking AJ back up and throwing her towards the center of the ring, ready to go for your finisher. That’s when they got into positions, teetering up on the apron grabbing onto the ropes as if they were stalking their way in.

“What the hell is The Shield doing, Cole?” Jerry questioned, his voice filled with concern.

“I have no clue, but it can’t be good. We have to assume, ladies and gentleman, that Stephanie McMahon put them up to this,” Cole proposed.

You took notice of the men involving themselves in the biggest match of your life, brows pulled together in anger and frustration.

“Hey! What the hell is wrong with you guys?” You shouted, turning your attention to the boys who were now standing on the apron, sights set on you.

You walked towards Dean, and the ref headed towards Roman and Seth signaling for them to get down.

“Leave me the hell alone” You seethed, coming face to face with Dean. The only thing separating the both of you were the ring ropes.

“I know you like it.” He gloated, arms held wide, earning boos from the crowd.

You shook your head, turning away slightly only for the palm of your hand to meet his cheek with a harsh slap a few seconds later.

The crowd erupted in cheers as Dean pinched his eyes shut, shaking off the sting in his skin, putting on a cocky sneer that quickly had you angered again. You kept an eye on the titantron in front of you, aware that AJ would be coming in any second to catch you off guard, which was all a part of the finish.

Seth and Roman hopped back down onto the floor, while Dean took notice of AJ sprinting behind you. His arms shoving you out harm’s way in order to take the hit. Her legs knocking him to the floor, while she fell to the mat, unaware that you had backed into one of the corners, shocked at Dean’s sacrifice, but none the less not wasting time.

You quickly got to your feet, delivering a super-kick to her jaw before lifting her body into position for your finisher and hitting it in the center of the ring. You hurried into the pin, locking her legs and arm as the ref counted.

“1, 2, 3…ring the bell!”

Surprise and shock covered your features, your hands covering your face as you tried to hold back tears for backstage while the ref walked over to retrieve your title. AJ rolled out of the ring, giving you your moment to savor as the championship was placed in your arms and your theme song blasted through the sold-out arena.

You forced yourself off your knees, thrusting the championship high up in the air, gaining cheers and applauses from the audience who were on their feet. You swore you could jump into your boyfriend’s arms right then and there without a care in the world about scripts and keeping up the act—but you knew it’d all be worth it.

Seth, Roman, and Dean hopped back onto the apron, this time not faltering on letting themselves through the ropes, stalking their way towards you as your theme song suddenly got cut and the ref scrambled out towards safety.

“Uh oh, is The Shield going to spoil the best night of her WWE career?” Cole speculated.

“I hope not. The last thing we need is the new WWE women’s champ being put out of action all because of these three men.” Jerry added.

You swallowed thickly, clutching the championship to your chest, looking left and right for a way out that was impossible at this point. There was nowhere left for you to go, the crowd anxiously awaiting to see what was going to happen next.

Dean’s fingertips hovered over your face, clutching your skin delicately and forcing you to meet his orbs. You looked stunned, about to break in terror until suddenly a wide smile emerged across your features.

“Oh, my god! What the hell is going on?” The commentators cried out disturbingly.

Seth and Roman stepped back with laugher rumbling in their chests, clapping and pointing at the both of you as if they had known the real story all along.

Meanwhile, Dean closed the space between your lips, pulling you into a fervent kiss taking everyone aback. Your lips moved together in tandem, like they always did behind the scenes where no one had a clue you were flying right under their noses.

You both pulled away, smiling widely at each other, before he gestured towards you, reaching to grab your wrists and lifting it high up in the air, your theme song hitting once more, this time the crowd torn between cheers and boos.

Dean held you close, his pride evident in his eyes letting everything around him turning into white noise.

“My girl. My champ.” he whispered, speaking to you like you were the only ones in the world in that very moment.

You looked up at him, closing your eyes in bliss, before mouthing the words.

“We got away with it.”

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: hi everyone!!! this is my first imagine/one-shot here on tumblr and im excited to be getting back into my wwe era. it's always fun revisiting my loves (aka: dean, roman, and seth), and i can't wait to mesh some stories with my fave taylor tracks. this one is loosely based off false god hehehe.

[jadonsanhco]

18th of April

alternative title: happy birthday badass bitch

for my dear friend emily @travellvogue

“Working on your birthday shouldn’t be allowed,” you thought to yourself as you stepped inside the house, where you had longed to be all day, exhausted from a full work day. Your birthday started off amazing – with breakfast in bed prepared by your lovely boyfriend, a dozen presents that were way too expensive for your liking though you loved them a lot, and several bouquets of the prettiest flowers from that florist down the street decorating every room in the house. “Only the best for my favourite girl,” Trent had said with a smug smile, having really outdone himself for your birthday this year and he was proud. Even though he knew you’d be happy with some lush bath bombs or some books (which were of course included in the presents as well) he couldn’t stop himself completely spoiling you on your special day.

After that great start to your day you had reluctantly gotten dressed in your work outfit, hopped in your car after a goodbye kiss from Trent and drove to your work for a full day of phone calls and meetings. Now that you were finally home, you couldn’t wait to spend the final hours of your birthday with your man.

“There she is!” Trent smiled at you, coming from the living room to greet you in the hall. “How was your day baby?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your lips and gently brushing one of his hands through your long hair. “Tiring. I missed you,” you mumbled, leaning closer again for another kiss, and another.

“Mmm I missed you too,” Trent smiled against your lips. “I told you, you should’ve taken the day off,” he added, quite disappointed he didn’t get to spend the entire day with you, but it was alright – his plans for tonight would make up for it. “I definitely will next year,” you giggled, definitely having learned from this mistake, knowing you would have enjoyed your birthday much more if you could have spent it at home with him instead of having to smile at everyone who wished you a happy birthday at work – you could have done without all the birthday attention. Besides, you had discovered that planning other people’s birthdays on your own birthday wasn’t exactly ideal either, seeing all the great plans you were putting on paper and in moodboards for strangers while you spent your day at the office.

“Well madam, to show you what you’ve missed all day, I have prepared something for you,” Trent smirked, making you raise your eyebrows at him. “Oh? And what is this something that you have prepared?” you asked, the night already starting to look promising. “That’s a surprise, you’ll see in a few minutes,” he winked. Of course it was. “I hate surprises, you know that,” you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the small smile appearing on your lips.

“Trust me?” Trent asked and came up behind you, covering your eyes with his hands after you nodded. He led you through the house, making sure you wouldn’t trip or bump into anything, until you could feel a breeze on your face, the sliding doors leading to the garden being pushed open. “Mind your step here,” Trent said as you stepped outside, letting you go a little farther to the place he had prepared everything.

“3,2,1… Tadaaa,” Trent removed his hands from your eyes so you could see, a small table in front of you with food that looked delicious, table decorated with flowers and even the plates were all set in a fancy way he had seen you do on special occasions like Christmas and other family dinners. As you looked around the garden you noticed how pretty it looked, fairy lights decorating the trees, some lanterns hanging around the area as well, and there were even some white and pink balloons floating in the air that said “Happy birthday Emily”, the strings attached to the railing of the steps that lead up to a raised terrace in the back of the garden. The fire pit was on for some extra warmth since evenings in April were not quite warm enough yet to stay out for too long, though since the sun was only just starting to set you could still feel the warmth of the sunlight on your face.

“Did you do all this?” you asked Trent with a smile, turning around to see a proud grin covering his face. “Yes. Well… I have to admit, mum helped me out a lot, especially with the food,” he chuckled a bit, knowing that if he would have done the cooking all by himself it would probably be a takeout, but he wanted you to have the best homemade food possible and his mum happened to be a real chef, your favourite meal being one of her specialties.

“I love it, thank you,” you pressed another kiss to Trent’s plump lips before taking a seat at the table, Trent serving you your food before sitting down in front of you. “Bon appetit,” he winked at you and took a forkful of carbonara in his mouth. You ate in a comfortable silence, talking about your day a bit but you didn’t want to talk about work too much while you were enjoying your birthday dinner. Instead, you listened to Trent telling you all about how he and Di spent their day preparing for your birthday, cooking and decorating.

“I know it’s getting a bit chilly out now,” Trent said after you had finished your meals, “but I feel like only now the sun is setting you’ll really be able to appreciate what I did with all the lights.” You laughed a bit, but nodded your head, agreeing that you couldn’t go inside now dusk was finally setting in and the lights lit up the garden beautifully. You couldn’t let all his hard work go underappreciated. 

“The fire should keep us warm, and I’ve got some blankets so we can cuddle.” You followed Trent to where he had set up some blankets and pillows, happily sitting down in front of him with your back leaning against his chest, his arms wrapped around you to both keep you warm and pull you as close as possible to him.

“I love you so much,” he whispered after a few minutes, both of you looking up at the stars as if you could try and find constellations, though you never really managed to. “I love you too,” you smiled, turning your head to give Trent a kiss before letting your eyes go over the stars in the sky again, more of them appearing the darker it got.

“I’ve got one more present for you,” Trent broke the silence again after a while. “Trent! You’ve spoilt me enough!” Trent laughed, having expected this reaction from you since he had already given you a bunch of presents before, but this last one was perfect to give to you right now.

“I promise it’s not something expensive or fancy.”

He stood up to go inside and get you your present. A shiver ran over your back from the loss of warmth, the cool air getting to you now you no longer had Trent’s body heat keeping you warm. Trent quickly returned with a gift bag in his hand, thin paper on top to cover up what was inside.

“You can look,” Trent smiled and sat down behind you again, the warmth radiating off him already protecting you from the chilly air better than the fire could. You reached your hand into the bag, your fingers touching soft fabric. A grey sweater was revealed when you pulled out your present, the material being so soft you instantly wanted to wear it and feel it on your skin. You held it up in front of you, the size definitely way too big for your body, and the sweater was just grey other than something small embroidered at the bottom of the sleeves.

“You know how you always steal my hoodies? I’m about to have none left since they’re all on your side of the closet, so that’s why I bought you this. It’s in my size, so it fits you the same as mine fit you. And my initial is on the sleeve so you can always think of me when you wear it,” Trent pointed out the small black T you noticed earlier.

“I’ve even put my cologne all over it already so it smells like me,” he winked, making you giggle a little, knowing one of the reasons you always wore his shirts was because they smell like him.

“Thank you, I really like it,” you smiled, pulling yourself out of Trent’s embrace a little so you could pull the sweater over your head, the soft fabric feeling so comfortable, and the scent of your boyfriend’s cologne making it even better.

“Thought it was perfect to give you this now so we can stay out here a liiittle longer,” Trent said and wrapped his arms around you once again, not ready to go back inside yet as he was enjoying spending time in the garden with you a lot. The doggies, that had been sleeping in the living room most the time, eventually came out for a cuddle as well, a bit afraid of the fire at first but they enjoyed being all close to you and wrapped up in blankets with you, happily continuing their nap outside.

You spent your night in such a simple way – dinner, cuddles, kisses, and just Trent’s company – but it was all you ever needed. You didn’t need a big birthday party or many visitors, you just needed Trent to make your birthday a memorable one. Even going to work earlier in the day couldn’t ruin it for you, and the idea of your and Trent’s families visiting later in the week was something to look forward to, but in that moment, cuddling by the fire with your little family, you felt happiest and more content than ever.

[julemmaes]

Hey, I really enjoy "Love her like she should be loved" and I was wondering if you'll update it soon? Like.. I've been looking at A03 page everyday waiting, no rush tho. Have a good day!

You’re Not Alone (3)

Cassian and Nesta Archeron modern au

A/N: I know yall always tell me not to be sorry, but I AM AND I CAN’T HELP IT. I’m sorry I made you wait sooo fucking long for this, but I’m kinda struggling with things rn and I really hate it so yeah, hope you can understand that.

Also, this didn’t went as good as I thought, but I took inspiration from what I think would go down with people I know in real life in a situation like this and I really hope it makes sense for you too. Enjoy!:)

part one, part two

Word count: 6,665

Nesta had responded to Feyre's message the next morning with a simple 'Okay, we can meet for dinner tonight.' and then invited the entire group to her house.

When she warned Cassian that he would have to go grocery shopping for everyone, he was shocked for a moment, looking at her carefully and trying to figure out if she was joking.

"Are you serious?" he asked her, taking a seat at the table and holding the cup of warm milk in his hands.

Nesta arched an eyebrow, throwing a glance over her shoulder, "What?"

Cassian had to tell himself to calm down, because the anger he had managed to repel all night was surfacing again. Not at Nesta, but at Rhysand, Morrigan. "I understand that you want to settle things with your sisters and..." he stammered, "and the others, but invite them here for dinner. Are you sure it won't end badly and that it won't contaminate this safe space?"

Nesta had stopped washing the dishes and although she had her back turned, he knew that her eyes were closed. Cassian stiffened, ready to stand up in case she needed physical comfort. The girl closed the faucet and turned towards him, taking a deep breath, "Tonight will not be easy," she announced.

Cassian nodded as he finished his breakfast and stood up, "I know it won't be easy, that's why I worry," he moved her from her position in front of the sink and put his cup in it, "If tonight goes poorly and you feel overwhelmed, you won't be able to go back to your house in a quiet and peaceful place and calm down." he took to washing the dishes for her, looking down at her face.

"I know, Cass." she passed her hand through her hair sighing, untangling it. She looked at him in turn, looking for confirmation, "But if I let them in here, maybe they will think that I'm really trying to apologize and that I want things to work out." she took one hand to her lips, biting the edge of her nail.

Cassian put the last cutlery in the dishwasher and took her wrist, taking her hand away from her mouth and bringing it to his, before leaving a kiss on her palm. Nesta smiled at him, but that happiness lasted only a few seconds because she grew grim, closing her eyes, "I'm afraid of messing everything up".

"I know, sweetheart." he whispered to her, "I'm afraid too."

She opened her eyes, frowning.

"I'm afraid that Rhys will be so blinded by hatred that he won't hear anything we say." he began, "I'm afraid that Mor will say things that - even if they are not true - will find a way to get under your skin."

Nesta leaned towards him, taking both hands to his chest, "I'm afraid that Elain will understand and that Feyre won't." she murmured, "I'm afraid that they will fight because of me. I'm terrified that this will affect Rhysand and Feyre's relationship more than I can imagine."

Cassian took a deep breath. He hadn't thought about that.

"Listen to me," he took her face in his hands, Nesta looked him straight in the eye, "both your sisters and my family are adults. We're not talking to children. We're talking to people who can think logically and who know what it means to be mentally ill."

She hesitated for a long moment and then nodded with conviction before shaking her head vehemently. She took a trembling breath and Cassian saw the moment Nesta's insecurities appeared on the surface when her eyes became lucid.

She slipped away from his touch, giving him her shoulders and leaning against the island. She was taking deep and quick breaths.

Cassian knew he didn't have to touch her when she was having an anxiety attack, but that didn't stop him from going near her and trying to calm her down. He spoke to her softly, but firmly, "I know it's scary Nesta. I know it's not easy, but you're not alone." he clenched his hands when her breath broke and the instinct to take her in his arms became overwhelming.

"You are not alone and whatever happens tonight we can stop. Whether it's when they arrive and they're still outside the door or it's halfway through dinner, you can get up and leave the room." she still had her eyes closed and a few tears were streaming down her cheeks. "You just have to look at me and I will understand Nes. I will send them away. You don't have to worry about that."

Nesta put a hand on her chest. "Breathe sweetheart. Focus on my voice."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

"What if they all start to turn against me?" she asked in a voice so weak that it broke his heart.

Cassian tightened his jaw, knowing full well that this could be one of many options, "If they even dare to gang up on you, I'll take care of it. I'm not lying when I say that you are not alone."

Nesta held her breath, pressing the back of her hand over her cheeks. Then she nodded once and turned towards him. "I am not alone." she repeated like a prayer.

"You are not alone."

He held her in his arms when she threw herself at him and swung into her kitchen for another twenty minutes before they both had to leave to go to class.

During the morning Cassian had tried to concentrate as much as possible on what the teachers had explained, but as he could well imagine, there had been no way to follow a single lesson. Every single thought he had was focused on the dinner that would take place that evening.

Around lunchtime, Nesta had warned him that there would be six of them. Azriel and Amren would not be there.

He hadn't commented on this choice. After all, he knew that it would already be very complicated to talk to her sisters, with the fact that Morrigan and Rhysand would also be there. Cassian felt slightly relieved that they would not have to endure the enigmatic silence of his older brother and the mocking looks of his friend. He would have thought about it another day to set the record straight with the two of them.

He left campus at five o'clock and very slowly walked to his car. He arrived downtown half an hour later and sat in the supermarket parking lot for a long time, his hands tight around the steering wheel and his eyes fixed onto the void, too deep in his thoughts.

He would not have been able to hold back that night, if Rhysand had even tried to say anything negative or if he had tried to minimize Nesta's problems. He did not know if he would be able to stop if he crossed the line.

He ran his hand over his face, taking a deep breath and breaking that trance he had been in for what seemed like centuries.

Luckily he only had to buy a few things. He had almost finished - he was looking for olives for the Greek salad and couldn't find them in any of the aisles - when his phone rang. The ringtone was not the personalized one he used for Nesta and he didn't bother to answer it quickly.

He frowned when he saw that it was Mor, but brought the phone to his ear nonetheless, accepting the call, "Hello?".

"Where are you?"

Cassian looked around confused, "At the mall, why?"

"And are you with Nesta?"

"No, she's home."

He heard Mor mumbling something and then huffing, "Understood, well, couldn't you tell your sweetheart to open the door to the house for us?" she asked exasperated.

The blood froze in Cassian's veins, "Why are you already there?" he asked as he walked towards the cashiers, hurrying up shortly afterwards. He removed the phone from his ear, looking at the time, "Mor, it's half past six, why the hell are you already there?".

He heard his friend's indignation even through the phone, "Don't use that tone with me, I didn't show up here earlier out of spite-" she was interrupted by someone, presumably Rhysand, who warned her by saying her name. She huffed, "Nesta told us to come at this time."

Cassian cursed under his breath and hurried to put all the things on the tape, remaining silent while thinking which way would be the fastest to get to Nesta's house.

"Cassian?”

He passed the money to the cashier, waiting for the change before answering, "Yes, Mor, I'm still here".

"So?"

"Did you ring?" he asked, running towards the parking lot.

"Do you think we are brainless? Of course we rang the doorbell!" Cassian thought at that very moment that if Mor hadn't dropped the attitude by the time dinner arrived, he would have pulled her hair out one by one.

"I'll call you back in ten minutes," he told her, throwing the bags in the back seats and letting the food fall out.

"Ten minutes?" asked the blonde in a distraught tone, "I'm not going to wait that long just because that bitc-" movement was heard through the speaker and Cassian had to refrain from yelling at Morrigan. A few seconds later, he heard Feyre's voice, "No problem Cass, we're going for a drive around here and we'll be back in ten minutes, please text me when you're there."

Cassian thanked her, praying to every god on earth that others would be as forgiving as she was during dinner. He quickly typed in Nesta's number and drove out of the parking lot, focusing more on what he would want to say to Mor than on the street.

She didn't answer immediately and Cassian had to call her back twice, starting to worry that Nesta had changed her mind at last and that something serious had happened. When she answered on the fourth call, he released a relieved laugh.

"What is it Cass? I was taking a shower," she said irritated, "You interrupted the music eighty times," she mumbled annoyed.

Cassian put his hand over his mouth, "Hey baby, listen," he started, going straight to the point, "what time did you say everybody was coming?"

"At 7:30, why?" she asked and he could imagine her naked in the middle of the bathroom with a frown on her face.

"I think you wrote the message with the wrong time then. Mor called me and they are all there already. They buzzed a couple of times, you must not have heard them because of the music."

Silence.

"Nesta?"

"Fuck, no." she breathed through the microphone. "I can't let them up, tell them I'm not at home." she said in a hurry, "I can't be alone with them. I need you here while I do it. I need you here while I'm doing it."

"Calm down Nes, I already asked them to go for a ride. I'm in the car and I'm on my way."

"Are you driving?" she asked in the tone of one who seemed to have forgotten everything that had just happened. He didn't answer, knowing full well that he was going to kick his ass. "God, how many times have I told you not to talk on the phone while driving?"

"We're not having this conversation again." he snorted, turning right to take the highway, "Would you send a message to Feyre saying you made a mistake and the appointment was supposed to be in an hour?"

Nesta hesitated and then asked quietly, "Can't you do it?"

"You just yelled at me because I'm on the phone with you while behind the wheel and you want me to write a message?"

"You could pull over," she asked.

Cassian knew where all that anxiety was coming from and asking her to do something that would stress her even more on a day like this would be bad. He swelled her cheeks and released all the air and then nodded, "Alright, see you in ten."

"Pull over, though, don't text while you're driving."

"Yeah yeah, don't worry."

"I swear Cassian that if they call me from the hospital-"

"They won't," he reassured her, chuckling, "See you in a bit."

He put down the call with Nesta and called Feyre back, warning her that there had been a misunderstanding and that they would not be ready for at least another hour. The girl had reassured him that there were no problems, but despite Feyre's various attempts to mask Mor's offenses, Cassian had heard them anyway.

He arrived at Nesta's apartment in a very short time and as soon as he entered the house, she was all over him. The bags full of food fell from his hands when he had to hold Nesta to his chest to avoid falling backwards.

He breathed in her hair, rubbing his hands on her back in relaxing circles, "Hello beautiful".

"You haven't even looked me in the face yet," she murmured against his chest in a muffled voice. He snickered, "I don't need to see you to know that you are beautiful."

When they broke off to kiss Cassian felt that she was hesitant.

He put his hand on her cheek, "Are you sure you want to do this tonight?"

She closed her eyes, relishing in the moment, "Cassian, as much as I love you, tonight I need you to tell me that I'm ready and not give me a way out every time we talk."

He nodded, frowned and put on a fake tough-guy-expression, imitating the voice of his high school coach, "What are you hugging me for, woman? Tonight you have to be strong and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I should have let your sisters in and let the wolves eat you alive."

Nesta pushed him slightly, with a grimace on her face, "Stupid." she whispered.

He gave her a sincere smile, moving a lock of hair from her face, "What do you say you start cooking something so I can take a shower without the terror of you running away and as soon as I get out of here I help you finish?" he suggested, taking off his jacket and taking the groceries to the kitchen, Nesta just tailed him. She answered affirmatively and after leaving a kiss on her lips, he ran to the bathroom.

When he came out, washed and combed, it was quarter past seven and Nesta had set the table in the small living room. The Greek salad without olives was in the center, next to the keftedes she had prepared during the day. Cassian really did not know with what desire and spirit she had cooked all that good food for people who had always hated her.

He entered the kitchen when Nesta took the moussaka out of the oven, also result of her afternoon spent cooking and Cassian started to cut the bread and put it together with the various cheeses and cold cuts he had bought.

Nesta wasn't talking, but he saw it in the way she was jerking and looking around frantically that her nerves were about to explode. When the oven timer rang, Nesta almost screamed and Cassian had to stop what he was doing and went towards her, grabbing her by the shoulders, "Look at me."

Nesta looked at him immediately.

"Talk to me." he whispered to her.

She remained silent, so he gave her a hand in starting the conversation, "When are you going to tell them?"

"Tonight."

Cassian chuckled, "Obviously," she sighed, "I meant at what point. Before dinner, during, after?" he asked confidently so as to pass on some of that comfort. He also knew that, for her, having a plan of action, whether it was for dinner or a vacation, was very important and took away a lot of the anxiety that these things brought on her.

She straightened her shoulders, "I don't have the slightest idea, I thought doing it before, maybe with a glass of wine, would be better, but then I thought that if it goes wrong they will leave before we can eat and then we would have to eat Greek for days and not that I mind, but I don't think it's the best for our diet, you know. " she looked him dead in the eye while she was blathering on, clasping her hands around his forearms, "Then I thought about doing it during dinner, but if we start yelling at each other-" "They won't go that far, I promise you." "You don't know that. If we start yelling at each other and then someone chokes on the food, we risk one of us suffocating and dying. And I would like to avoid that." Cassian laughed at that point. Nesta looked at him very badly, "And afterwards, we might as well do it, but afterwards they are more likely to leave earlier, because maybe they think they'd done their part and had dinner with me, they apologize, I apologize and then they leave and I don't have time to explain myself."

Cassian raised an eyebrow, "So you want to do it first?"

"I don't want to eat Greek for a week, I've made so much that we could feed an army."

"During dinner seems the best moment honestly." he confessed to her, tearing her hands from his arms, taking the souvlaki and putting them in the oven. Nesta thanked him quietly. "I mean, we could approach the topic at any time, doing it between one piece of spanakotiropita and the other shouldn't be too complicated."

Nesta was about to answer when the doorbell rang and she froze on the spot.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit."

Cassian wanted to open the door and send everyone away, because Nesta had started moving in circles and was waving her hands mid-air. He had seen her anxious about a lot of things, but he knew that this would be a decisive point in her life and the idea of the change it would bring - whether positive or negative it would be - was overwhelming.

"Remember sweetheart, the second you want them to leave, you look at me, you wink at me and I'll let you escape." he reminded her, approaching the front door and pushing a button to open the gate of the building. They would be in the house in less than a minute.

Nesta was torturing her hands, but now she had a hard look on her face, "I'm scared shitless of Morrigan," she whispered. Cassian didn't have time to answer because someone knocked and he was forced to open the door.

Feyre gave him a wide smile that didn't reach her eyes and his gaze went from the two Archeron sisters to Rhysand.

He hadn't heard from him that day and hadn't seen him since the night before, when he had screamed at him.

He smiled at him in a strange way, but the younger one seemed to appreciate the gesture anyway because he gave him a lopsided smile in return.

"Hey Cass." Mor said in a tone that promised trouble, "Are you going to let us in, or are you having serious issues with welcoming people into your house too?"

His jaw hardened and Nesta appeared at his side, placing a hand on his arm. The blonde's eyes snapped to the spot where her hand was clutching the fabric of his shirt, "Sorry Morrigan, I didn't hear the doorbell before and I made a typo, I didn't think your life depended on the hour I made you lose. And I didn't think you'd be interested in coming here and watching me cook, I'll take that into account next time."

Mor nodded once, clutching her hands on the bag. The two women stared into each other's eyes for eternal moments, until Elain cleared her voice, "Hello Nes."

Things seemed to lighten up and when Cassian stepped aside, letting Rhysand and Mor in as the three sisters hugged, the group split up and the tension in the air seemed to get heavier.

Cassian had no idea how he should behave.

"This way." he pointed in the direction of the living room and when he turned to see if they were following him, Rhys handed him a bottle of wine, his lips reduced to a thin line and his shoulders tense.

"Here," he muttered, and Cassian was pleasantly surprised that he wasn't the only one struggling, "Nesta told us not to bring anything, but it looked bad."

"Oh, yes please, open it," said Mor on the other side of the living room, while analyzing the photos on the shelves. Photos of him and Nesta. Photos that his girlfriend had moved every time her sisters had visited in the last few months.

Cassian looked towards the entrance and saw that Nesta and the others were no longer there, they must have gone to the kitchen. He turned to his friend and she was looking over her shoulder at him, "We're going to need it so badly if she's going to keep that attitude all night long".

Rhys sighed, carrying a hand over his face, "Mor, drop it…"

Cassian raised his hand to stop him, without moving his eyes from the blonde, "No, please continue, that's why we are here."

Mor turned completely towards him, grinding her teeth, "I really don't understand how you can be in a relationship with her." Rhysand stiffened beside him, "Did you see how she replied to me before?" she asked, waving one hand towards the door.

"Oh for fuck's sake," whispered Cassian angrily, "you hadn't even entered the house and had already insulted both me and her. You are not the victim here so stop acting like a child and try to understand where all the resentment comes from."

Mor was about to answer, but Elain had just entered the living room and Rhysand had cleared his throat before he took his seat. Mor did the same thing, followed by Elain and Feyre. Cassian shook his head and headed into the kitchen.

Nesta was looking at the pans with the various foods inside, clenching and opening her fists, which made Cassian's chest tighten. He had gone into the room with the intention of telling her that he would not be able to hold back if Mor continued like that, to warn her that if he exploded, it would not be her fault, but now that he saw her so agitated all his attention had turned to her.

"How are you?" he asked her, putting his hand on the small of her back. He kissed her temple.

Nesta turned towards him, taking a deep breath and releasing all the air. She did it one more time. The third time, Cassian breathed with her.

She nodded and took one of the pans, he opened the bottle of wine, took a second pan and returned to the living room.

Elain and Mor sat at the head of the table and Rhysand and Feyre on one of the sides, leaving the seats in front of them free for Cassian and Nesta.

The woman of the house laid the food on the table, asking those present to pass her the plates and what and how much food they wanted. Cassian sat down and poured the wine to Mor, who sat next to him. She gave him a hard smile and thanked him. Then he turned to Feyre and she shook her head, "No, thank you, I would rather not drink tonight."

Elain chuckled, "Wise choice, you were a little out of it this morning."

Rhysand gave her a big smile, "One of the worst hangovers ever, actually."

Nesta stiffened to those words, looking at her younger sister, "Sorry, if I'd known you were sick, I'd have arranged for another night."

Feyre seemed appalled for a moment, but she blinked briefly and was quick to reassure her, "Oh no, don't worry. I've taken something for my headache, and I feel better."

They began to eat in silence and Cassian was too tense and worried not to glance at Mor to really taste the food or start a conversation, but Rhysand seemed to be particularly appreciative, because he was making satisfied noises, "Nesta, this is so good. What is it?" he looked at her face for a moment and Cassian was sure that he was blushing because he bent his head down and kept eating.

"It's moussaka." answered Elain, smiling.

Nesta seemed surprised, "It's a Greek dish, our father loved Greek cuisine and this is one of the recipes he did most often."

"Well, kudos." Rhysand told her, then he turned his glaring gaze to Feyre, "I'm pretty sure you could never cook something like that."

Feyre seemed more uncomfortable than the others, not because of what her boyfriend had said, more because of the situation in general, but she didn't miss an opportunity to brazenly reply, "As if you can do better than me. We both suck and without Elain or Azriel we would have been dead long ago. Probably both buried under boxes and boxes of take-away food."

Elain laughed and Nesta dared what seemed to be a smile.

They joked for a few more minutes and at one point Cassian had relaxed so much that he even managed to laugh at one of Rhysand's jokes. Morrigan seemed to be dead next to him, but he couldn't even look at her and felt her look burn on the skin of his neck.

When the appetizers were finished and the firsts were brushed off the table, the silence spread between the chairs and the tension in the air came back, without announcing its arrival, heavier than before.

"Excuse me," said Mor suddenly, when the silence became too much, she looked at Nesta, "The bathroom?"

Nesta looked at her in turn and Cassian really thought she would not answer her, but then she murmured, "Second door on the right." pointing to the corridor and he relaxed. Mor thanked her, nothing grateful in that tone.

Cassian shifted his gaze to his brother, but Rhysand had his eyes on Nesta. The man cleared his voice, drawing everyone's attention to himself, and narrowed his eyes, "I wanted to apologize, Nesta."

She stopped, placing the fork on the napkin and nodding once.

"I'm..." he coughed, embarrassed, shifting his gaze to Feyre and bringing it back to her immediately afterwards, "I'm sure Cassian told you what happened last night."

Nesta put her hands on her legs and Cassian took the opportunity to hold her hand. The movement did not go unnoticed by the two sisters, who exchanged a glance. "Yes, he told me what happened. Not in detail though."

Rhysand swallowed noisily, "I had no idea you were sick."

So he would have gone straight to the point.

Cassian settled down in the chair, squeezing his fingers around Nesta's.

"You never cared enough about me to ask, it's understandable that you didn't know," she replied, "You never really tried to get to know me."

His tone became harsher, "Considering how you behaved the first times we all went out together and how you always treated everyone in our group, you should not be surprised."

"Rhys." Feyre warned him. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"It's true," he said, turning to Nesta, "You've never given me a chance to really get to know you over the years."

Cassian could see how Nesta's walls were coming up faster than ever. The threat now so concrete that even a gust of wind could have knocked them down and made them weak.

"That's because you never tried to understand my motives, but you stopped at the description that my sister probably gave you." Nesta replied, in an equally harsh tone.

Elain seemed to whimper at the head of the table and cast a worried look at Cassian. He told her silently without speaking that they would not intervene.

Feyre leaned forward, her hands intertwined in front of her on the table, "But Nesta, you must understand that you have never really behaved well with me. You've always treated me as if I were worth nothing."

"I never thought that, and I certainly never said that. I think you are one of the most wonderful people in the world and an equally good artist." then she turned to Elain, "The same goes for you."

"And why did you treat me like that all those years after dad died?" insisted Feyre.

A door at the end of the corridor closed, and a few seconds later Mor appeared, sitting with her back upright, sensing the air.

"Because you weren't the only one to lose your parents, Feyre," said Nesta. By now her eyes had become ice. Elain gasped at those words and reached out to her older sister, but she remained hanging mid-air. "You may not remember our mother, but I do. I lost her and I lost dad on the same day," she said, gritting her teeth. "Just because we reacted differently to the mourning doesn't mean I was okay and capable of taking care of you."

Feyre caught her breath and Nesta resumed, "When dad died, there was nothing of the man I had known for half my life, but the loss was double."

"I never knew..." whispered Elain.

Nesta turned to her, "I never wanted to put this burden on you. I could have handled it on my own. Just as I was sure that you too could have done just fine without me," she whispered, "And so it turned out."

Cassian stroked the palm of her hand.

"I'm sorry for giving you the impression that I didn't care about you, for making you believe that you are not a vital part of my life, but I was young and full of anger and rather than dump everything on you I preferred to keep it all inside and maybe I did more damage than good, but my intention was never to hurt you, Feyre, or Elain," said Nesta, with gleaming eyes.

Mor snorted, "You know, people normally go to therapy for these things."

Cassian took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

Nesta tilted her head to the side, looking at the blonde, "I've been in therapy for months now."

Elain brought a hand to her mouth, looking at Cassian, "You didn't tell us."

He had to clear his voice before he spoke, "It wasn't my place."

Feyre looked at him with her mouth slightly wide open. Rhysand had a thoughtful expression, but he too was staring at his brother.

"And I'd really like to know what your real problem is with me. Because I really can't understand what I've done to you," Nesta asked, looking sincerely confused.

Mor looked at Cassian, looked at his plate, "I don't think you are enough for him."

Cassian couldn't stand it any longer and pulling his hand away from Nesta's grip he turned his whole body to the blonde, "And why should that be any of your business?

Mor gave him a fiery look, "Because I'm your friend and I want what's best for you," she clarified, pointing to Rhysand and Feyre with a painted finger, "When the two of them got together, Feyre was friendly, sociable and never offended anyone in the group-"

"When has Nesta ever directly offended one of you?" Cassian asked exasperatedly, raising his arms to the sky. The girl remained silent, shifting her gaze between the two lovers. Cassian scoffed, "You can't even find an example. God, you're ridiculous." he ran a hand through his hair.

"Ridiculous?" cried Mor, "I'm not the one who has been hiding her relationship for months from her whole family out of fear."

Cassian stood up, raising his voice, "And don't you think that fear is because of the way you are reacting now that I would have preferred to keep it hidden for a longer period of time?!"

Mor was also standing now, "If you had told me before-"

"No!" he shouted, "No! Nothing would have changed. And it's not because you believe that Nesta is a bitch, no! It's because you're always so busy involving everyone in your going-outs and your parties and your bullshit that you don't realize that some people don't like these kinds of pastimes!" he was talking so loud that a vein popped in his neck, "Sometimes I just want to stay home and sleep, but with you it's impossible! Because you always have to force everyone. And now you've finally found someone to stand up to you and say no and you can't stand it."

Mor seemed to be shaking with anger, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't?" Cassian asked laughing, no trace of amusement in the sound, "Have you ever let Azriel decide whether to stay home or not? Have any of us ever said no to you?"

Mor shook her head, not to answer, but shocked by the turn the conversation had taken, "And why do you think so?"

"Cassian, maybe you should sit and drink some water and calm down," Rhysand suggested, looking him in the eye. He didn't even bother to let him know that he had heard it.

"Nesta doesn't bitch to you and avoid you because she's a bad person, but because talking to you means accepting that you have a busy schedule that you don't want to have for the next two months and instead of saying no every time she prefers not to have connections at all" he concluded sighing and throwing himself in the chair.

Nesta rubbed a hand on his back and he closed his eyes.

Fuck.

He had spoken for her.

He shouldn't have.

They remained silent for a few seconds.

"Mor, I," Cassian resumed, in a much calmer and lower tone than before, "I didn't mean all those things, I'm just angry right now and I exaggerated."

"No, don't worry, I understand what you mean." whispered Mor, passing one hand over her shiny eyes, "I'll try not to invite you anymore when I want to cheer someone up."

Fuck.

Cassian knew very well that Morrigan's festive and witty attitude was the reason why they were all so close. All the adventures, all the laughter and the memories... they owed it to her.

"That's not-" he cursed, looking into her eyes, "I'm just trying to say that you don't have compatible personalities, but just because you like to have fun in a different way doesn't mean that Nesta isn't worthy of me or that she's a bad person just because she never went dancing with you."

Morrigan didn't answer, he stood in front of everyone and, surprising everyone, it was Nesta who resumed the conversation, "I've been really bad in the last few months, Mor."

The blonde sat back down, hands in her lap.

"I've been sick and the only person I had next to me was Cassian. I got to know him in these months, I found out what a great person he is and how much he is willing to give for those he loves," she looked at her sisters and Rhysand, back to Mor, "So I understand you perfectly right now. I understand that you're scared and you think that sooner or later I'm going to do something wrong and hurt him, but even if I do, I can assure you that the person I'm going to hurt the most is going to be me."

Cassian looked at her and the tip of his nose started to pinch. He bit his lip. He would not cry.

"I'm working hard to be a version of myself that doesn't scare me and that my sisters can recognize and I can't blame you if you don't know me, because I don't know myself either." she also turned to Rhysand, to whom she had just told practically the opposite.

"Cassian is my lifeline right now and I am willing to let my guard down for you if you are willing to respect my boundaries." she murmured, "I know this doesn't fix things and that your idea of me is still very confused, but I am really willing to give you some of my time to patch things up."

Feyre sniffed, reaching over the table towards Nesta, "Please forgive me."

Nesta smiled genuinely, "I'm sorry too, Feyre."

The younger sister got up from her chair and went around the table, surprising Cassian when she bent over Nesta to hug her. Elain smiled at her from where she sat and stood up a moment later, joining in the embrace.

"To-" Nesta resumed when Feyre and Elain broke away, "To explain a little bit why I act the way I do. I have problems, serious problems interacting with people," she murmured, picking at her nails, "Sometimes I do things I don't want to do just to regret it right away and I know it's no excuse for all the times I've been grumpy, but that's why it happens."

Rhysand cleared his throat for the ninth time, "I've been in therapy too. For several years," he confessed.

Cassian gave him a grateful smile.

"So, I know you have Cassian, and I'm sure your therapist is more than qualified for this kind of thing, but if you ever need another set of ears, you could..." he backed off, thinking maybe he was crossing one of those boundaries Nesta had just talked about, "I mean, if you need something, you can always ask."

"Same thing." Elain added, approaching her, "I may not understand half of it, but I want to be there if you let me."

Nesta nodded, more serious than ever. "Thank you."

Cassian came forward, "Thank you for talking to us sweetheart."

Mor got up in a flash, "Thank you Nesta. Cassian." she turned to the others. The look lost in the air as she gathered her things, "It was a pleasure, and the food was great."

"Mor..." Cassian stood up, "Wait."

His friend turned to him, clenching her fists, "I think I need some time. These are not things that are quickly assimilated," she told him with all the sincerity of the world.

"I understand that and I don't take it personally Morrigan. I can't assure you I'll be pleasant, but if you have any questions I'll try to answer them." Nesta intercepted, before Cassian could make the situation he had already created with the blonde worse.

Rhysand had got up and stood next to his cousin, "Do you want me to drive you home?"

She shook her head and her eyes became shiny. For Cassian it was like receiving a punch in the chest.

Feyre took a deep breath, "Actually I think we should all go." she murmured, "It's been a heavy conversation and I've learned a lot tonight and I think I need a seven-day nap before I can even have a conversation about art again."

That joke got a light laugh out of the whole group.

"You don't need to come with me, I can go by myself." worried Mor, shaking her head when Elain got up and started to get dressed.

Feyre shook her head in turn, "I repeat, I think I'm going to faint and I really need a few moments alone to think about everything too."

Rhysand put his arm around her waist and squeezed her.

Cassian bid his brother goodnight, hugging him and thanking him from the bottom of his heart for coming and listening without creating too many problems.

As soon as everyone was out of the apartment, Nesta burst into tears and Cassian said nothing as he held her to his chest, stroking her hair.

They hadn't gone into details and maybe they weren't on the same page yet, but they would have worked to get there.

It was a start.

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[thewildomega]

Star in the Sand Ch.19

Walking into the stock room Bentham placed down the crate of fruit and let out a sigh. It had been a close call today but they had all gotten what they needed and gotten back safely. Still he was confused about that woman. He knew he had seen her before. She had even known his name. She wasn't like most of the prisoners here, she hadn't begged to be freed or for food. She had willingly given him back the fruit he had dropped. Kindness was uncommon in a place like this, as was manners. Just who the hell was she?

Tapping his chin as he walked back down the hallway and towards the main room he was so deep in thought he hadn't heard one of the occupants of the bar calling his name until he spoke again. 

"Queen Bentham? Is everything okay?"

"Ooo?" he said and then turned towards his friend Ken, "Oh I'm just trying to figure out a familiar face. This woman on level 5, one of the prisoners, she returned the fruit I dropped and knew my name. I know I have seen her somewhere before I just can't place her."

"You don't think she was just acting in hopes you would help her do you?" Ken asked as he sipped his drink. 

"No she didn't seem the type." he hummed. "Y/n...Y/n... where have I heard that name?"

"Y/n... I've heard that too." the bartender spoke. 

"You have?"

"Yea I wait a second..." 

Watching the woman walk away he blinked and looked to Ken who just shrugged his shoulders. As the woman walked back over with an old newspaper in her hand he moved closer to the bar. 

"Yep, here you go I knew I had heard that name before." She said, handing the queen the old paper. 

Taking the newspaper from her he lifted his nose as he looked down at the page and saw the woman's picture, her bounty. "Firelocks Y/n... yes that's her." he grinned. Dropping his eyes down to the other part printed he felt his mouth fall open and his eyes go wide. "Mr. Zero?! She's... oh my.... oh I have to go help her!" he spoke dropping the paper and going to run away. 

"Wait Bentham what's going on? Who is she? And who is this Mr. Zero?" Ken asked, grabbing the queen's arm as he went to run away. 

Showing him the paper he pointed to the woman, "This is her, Y/n and she is apparently affiliated with Mr. Zero..."

"Crocodile? The Ex warlord?" Ken questioned leaning closer to the pictures. 

"Yes. He was my old boss. Oh I cannot just leave here there to freeze to death, I must go help her." 

"But Queen Bentham you don't even know her..."

"It matters not, I like to think Mr. Zero and myself were at least somewhat friends and I can not allow what could possibly be his bonded to perish in that hell." He exclaimed to them. 

"Okay well even if you want to get her out we will have to wait and devise a plan. We can not go for her today not when there was such a close call earlier." Ken spoke, being the voice of reason. 

Sighing and dropping his shoulders Bon looked down. "I suppose you are right Ken-Ken." Snapping his head up he held up his finger, "Very well then in three days time we will go and rescue Y/n." he declared and saw them nod. 

...............................

"...Without you there'd be no sun in my sky There would be no love in my life There'd be no world left for me And I, baby I don't know what I would do I'd be lost if I lost you If you ever leave Baby, you would take away everything real in my life And tell me now How do I live without you I want to know How do I breathe without you If you ever go How do I ever, ever survive..."

Mumbling the lyrics to yourself as you laid on the bench you stared at the picture of Crocodile with lidded eyes. You were so cold, you couldn't much feel anything anymore but still your arms stayed wrapped around your middle where the warmth was needed most. Hearing a distant sound made you stop your quiet singing. Sighing you closed your eyes, meal time. While you should be excited to get the little food you so desperately needed you hated having to move and listen to the men in the opposite side of the cell harass you. Staying put you kept your back to the guards as they tossed in your cell's food rations. It was strange that you didn't hear the men fighting over it instantly, normally they were like a pack of starved dogs.

Waiting until the guards were gone you finally turned over to look towards the food. Seeing the four men sitting back eating on the half frozen food quietly you furrowed your brows. Glancing down to the floor you saw a small portion of meat and bread still laying there. That was odd, normally they would be trying to reach it as hard as possible, the chains on their wrists holding them to the walls, digging into their skin enough to drawn blood. Maybe they knew they couldn't reach it. They didn't even seem to be paying you much mind. Maybe they finally got the point. Moving your stiff legs over the side of the bench you stood, feeling those pins and needles as you started taking steps over towards the food. As much as you hated moving you had to get the food before it froze to the point of being inedible. Not that it was to begin with but you couldn't complain much, you needed food, your baby needed food. 

Taking a glance to the men again you still saw them eating their own food, their eyes not even glancing your way. Bending down you winced as your joins protested lifting the piece of bread and meat you went to stand when suddenly you saw the men move. Quickly going to run back to your side of the cell you stumbled when your numb limbs took too long to move. Feeling a hand wrap around your ankle you gasped and let out a cry as you were pulled back to the ground. Kicking and struggling as much as you possibly could you stared down at the man that had managed to grab you. 

"Got you now bitc..."

Landing a hard kick to his nose you felt his hand release you and rolled over to crawl away when you were stopped again. "No... let me go..."

"You fucking cunt." the man yelled, holding one hand over his bleeding nose while the other one grabbed her ankle again. 

Feeling another hand grab the other ankle you growled and thrashed but hissed out when you were snatched backwards, your back burning in pain as you were drug across the frozen ground. "No! NO! Let me go!" Yelling you fought then to the best of your ability but it was four against one and you were already very weak. Going to scream you heard them laughing, a hand slapping over your mouth while others held you down. 

"This could have been much easier for you if you would have come willingly when we told you to the first time." 

Still trying to thrash in their hold you heard as their chains rattled and then the sound of ripping before your felt what little warmth the clothes provided get taken away. Tears filled your eyes when rough, cold hands started touching you none too gently. Screaming at the top of your lungs around the hand you closed your eyes tight, feeling the warm tears run down your temples. 

"I get her first." 

Looking up through blurry eyes you saw the larger man, the one with the long beard and messy hair move overtop of you, pushing himself between your legs that were being held open. Seeing him smirk at you as one of his hands moved down you felt true fear take over, your soulmates name coming out as a muffled scream. As soon as you felt the warmth from the man's body it was suddenly gone and you snapped your eyes open at the familiar voice. 

"You bunch of sickos. How dare you." 

Watching as Bon Clay kicked the man in the throat before turning on the others you shook. Scrambling up when you were released you wrapped your tattered shirt around your body as best you could. 

"Taking advantage of a defenseless woman like that." he yelled, swinging his foot across all of their faces. 

Flinching when you felt someone else touching you you snapped your eyes up to see another man. His skin was a medium brown and his black hair was curled upwards into a ball of sorts. 

"Shh it's okay sweetheart I'm not going to hurt you." Ken told the frightened woman as he wrapped the blanket they had brought with them around her trembling form. 

Hearing a splash you turned back to see Bon Clay and a woman tossing a bucket of water onto the group of men who were laying unconscious on the ground. As the two turned towards you you swallowed hard. 

Seeing the slight fear in the woman's eyes he smiled at her. "Come on Miss Y/n let's get you out of this retched place." 

Before you could object you were being lifted up and looked to see the brown man from before carrying you in his arms out of the cell. They stopped only for a moment to close the cell door before you all were walking into the forest that you had passed on the way in. Your heart beat like a hammer in your chest and you couldn't help but still shake as you were carried towards level 5.5.

"Tell me Miss. Y/n how is it you know Mr. Zero?" Bentham asked. 

Swallowing hard you looked to Bon Clay, "h..he is mmmy soulmate."

Smiling largely he clapped his hands together and spun around, "Ooo how wonderful. I knew there was a soft side to Mr. Zero." 

Being carried into a room and sat on a padded table of sorts you saw boxes labeled as medical supplies laying around. There was a screen of sorts separating the room and you started to look around but didn't get to look far before Bon Clay and another man or woman , you couldn't quite tell was walking over to you. The person wore a white lab coat that was cut short and fishnet stocking. Their blond hair was done up into a beehive look and make up was caked onto their skin in what reminded you of the old pin up style. Still their red lips pulled up into a large warm smile as they came to stand in front of you with Bon Clay. You clung to the blanket that was wrapped around you earlier, your body still trembling even though it was rather warm in the room. 

"Miss. Y/n this is Hilda, our medic of sorts. He's going to give you a quick check up." Bentham told the woman and saw her nod. 

"Now honey let's drop this down for a moment so I can look at you." Hilda spoke as he gently pulled the blanket off her curled up shoulders.  Seeing the shirt on her torn he looked to Bentham and saw the queen give him a look he understood perfectly. "Can we take this rag off of you?" he asked and gently pulled on the fabric, feeling her slowly release it from her trembling fingers. As the shirt was removed he saw her curl up some, her arms wrapping around her lower abdomen. "Queen Bentham could you get a warm bath prepared." he spoke and saw the man nod and walk away behind the screen. 

Slowly you relaxed a little as the doctor went about looking you over. It came as no surprise that you had a good amount of frost bite but Hilda said that they could fix that with some soaking in warm water. You back had been scraped up when those men had drug you across the ground along with a few other scrapes and forming bruises. The self proclaimed doctor remained kind and patient throughout your exam, pulling a sheet over you when he noticed your bashfulness. He had taken your vitals to make sure there was no other cause for worry but when he had went to feel you stomach you tensed and quickly covered the area with your arms. 

"Did I hurt you honey? Is something wrong?"

Licking your lips you felt your heart beating hard against your ribs. The whole time you had been here you had managed to keep your pregnancy a secret. While no you didn't know if your unborn child was still alive you wouldn't risk something happening to it if someone knew. It was no secret how much you and Crocodile were hated and unfortunately that hate would no doubt roll over to your child.

"Now honey you can tell me, I am a doctor after all and if something's wrong I can help." Hilda told the woman placing his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. Watching as the woman continued looking down for a moment before her teary eyes slowly lifted to his he furrowed his brows until it clicked. Covering his mouth with his hand he felt his eyes go wide. "Ummm Bentham sugar we've got a situation over here." he called, his voice rising in pitch a little. 

Seeing Bon Clay hurry from behind the screen and look to you and Hilda you took a deep breath when his slightly worried filled eyes looked you over. 

"Would you like to tell him or should I?" 

Licking your lips you looked into his make up lined eyes, "I... I'm pregnant." 

"WHAAAA?!" 

..............................

Waiting outside of the room Daz leaned against the wall with his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his chest. He could hear the deep, growl of his Captain inside of the room and sighed as a choking gasp was heard shortly after. There went another one. Standing there for a few short minutes after he heard the thump he pushed off the wall and moved towards the thick wooden door. Opening it he saw only the back of the black leather chair, smoke coming up from behind it. Glancing down to the floor he rose a brow at the drained corpse laying there. "I take it he didn't agree to the terms?" he asked in a calm voice. 

"He thought he could get cocky with me." Crocodile responded in a cold voice. 

Humming Daz moved to the now empty sofa in front of the desk and sat down. "So what now?"

"Find me another person more suitable for the job." 

"You keep killing off people and no one will be willing to work for you." to this he only heard a grunt. That had been the fifth person to face Crocodile's wrath since they had settled on this island. It had been four months and one week since Y/n had been taken, sentenced to Impale Down and since then the man had changed. Crocodile had never been a people person, he was hard to understand and even harder to work for but once the woman had come into their lives he had become bearable, more reasonable. That had all changed now. Y/n had been the only person alive that had the ability to calm the beast that was Crocodile. Most wouldn't have been able to tell the difference but he could, he had known the man for close to ten years. He'd go to say that the man was even more cold now than he was during their time in Alabasta. Loosing his soulmate and child had changed him. When Y/n had been taken he was sure she took Crocodile's heart with her. 

"Why are you still here?" Crocodile asked, feeling the presence of his right hand man still in the room. When there was no response he puffed on his cigar, "If there is something you want to say, say it." 

Opening his eyes that had been closed he stared at the back of the chair and took a deep breath. "You can't keep doing this." 

"Going soft Daz? You never had a problem with the killing before."

"Before it was business, this time you are killing because you think it will help take that hurt away..."

"Daz." he warned, his teeth biting down on the cigar in his mouth. 

"Do you think she would have wanted you to become this? How do you think she would feel if she knew others were loosing their lives because of her.."

"Get out." 

Hearing the man's voice drop to an almost animalistic growl he closed his eyes and sighed. Standing he grabbed hold of the dehydrated body and moved towards the door, stopping in the frame. "She loved you and more than anything she wanted you to be happy."

His response was a blast of sand that was slamming the door closed, leaving him alone in the dim room. He listened to Daz's footsteps grow further down the hall before the sound of the main door being closed filled the empty manor. Staring out the large window he watched it rain, the sky darkening as the hidden sun made it's way below the horizon. Blinking slowly he breathed out the smoke that had been filling his lungs. Happy. She wanted him to be happy. He knew that, she made it obvious, always doing whatever she could to make him smile, to make him laugh. Closing his eyes he let himself drift back to those boring days on the ship. 

Writing in his log book he puffed away on one of his cigars. Rain beat against the ship that rocks in the rougher seas. It had been raining all day and he wasn't the only one that was bored, the sighing and groaning coming form the bed every few seconds proof enough. "You are acting like a child that can not go outside and play." 

"Better than being a grumpy adult like you." she grumbled. 

"I'm working." he told his soulmate but heard her only grumble even more. 

"It's so boring." 

"Draw something."

"I don't feel like it." 

"Read a book." 

"I already finished them all." 

Sighing he tapped his pen against his hand, "Find something to do, you are keeping me from my work." It was quiet for a moment and then she spoke again. 

"How much does a pirate pay for corn?" ..... "A BUCK-an-eer."

Blinking he adjusted the cigar in his mouth but didn't make another sound. 

"What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?" ........ "Beat it, we're closed." 

Biting down on the rolled tobacco he felt the corner of his lip tug upward but tried to focus back on his log pose. 

"How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?"... "It's not hard."

"How did the pirate get his jolly roger so cheap?".... "He got it on sail."

Huffing out he wrote the events in his book. 

"What did one broke hooker say to the other?"... "Can you lend me ten bucks till I'm on my back again."

Not being able to stop the small chuckle that left his throat he stared at his book, wondering what it was he was going to write. 

"What the elephant say to the naked man?".... "How do you breath out of that thing?" 

Closing his eyes he rolled the cigar and shook his head, his lips lifting into a smile that he was trying desperately to hold back. Placing his pen down he plucked his cigar from his lips to tap it in the ashtray. 

"I would tell you a BDSM joke but I'm working out all the kinks." 

"If blue birds have baby blue birds and Robins have baby robins then what kind of bird has no baby birds?".... "Swallows." 

Laughing he stood from his desk and turned to walk over to the bed, his soulmate laying on it looking up at him with that carefree smile on her face. Laying beside her he held his head up in his hand, his left arm thrown over her with his hook by her hip. "Are you happy now, you've pulled me from my work again." he asked her. Feeling her hands wrap around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair, he saw her nod. 

"Just doing my job."

"And what would that be?"

"Making you smile."

Huffing he leaned down to meet her lips in a kiss.

What he wouldn't give to hear one of her jokes again. To see her smile, to feel her lips on his. He'd do anything to have her in his arms again. Give up this life, the life of a pirate, the life he'd worked so hard to achieve. He'd settle down on some rural island, work a farm like he did when he was a boy. They'd live a quiet life, raise their child together... probably make a few more. He wondered what they their children would have looked like. Would it have been a boy or a girl, a son or a daughter. He wouldn't have cared either way but he would have loved to have a boy, a son, someone to carry on his lineage. He wondered if they would have looked like him or her, maybe a good mixture. Her eyes though, he would want them to have their mother's beautiful eyes, those striking sea blue eyes that he could spend hours starring into. His favorite time to stare into her eyes were when they were making love, when she was looking up at him with him on top of her. Those beautiful eyes although lidded and hazy with lust always looked at him like he was the whole world, her world. It was a look he would never see again. 

Opening his eyes he stared at the droplets of water running down the window pane. Standing he walked from the room and down the dark hallway towards his room, his cold, lonely bed. Feeling that sharp clenching in his heart he grit his teeth, it was a pain that never fully went away but occasionally would worsen. He knew enough about soulmates to know that it was times like this when she was hurting, that she was suffering. Going to his bathroom to shower he removed his scarf and unbuttoned his shirt before removing his hook. Shrugging his shirt from his shoulders he went to unbuckle his pants when the pain in his chest became almost unbearable. Gripping the counter to hold him upright he closed his eyes. 

CROCODILE!

God it was like he could hear her screaming his name in his head. Gritting his teeth, the pain was suddenly gone and he was left feeling drained and alone. Alone, his inescapable fate.

.............................

Staring down into the steaming water you rubbed your hands over your still flat stomach where life still grew. Your baby was alive. Hilda had confirmed it, he had even let you listen to the baby's light heartbeat. While Hilda had said that you were far underweight and so your baby was most certainly well below the size a normal four month fetus should be it was alive. You and Crocodile's child still grew in your womb. Biting the inside of your lip you felt tears fill your eyes. 

"Did he know?" Bon asked from where he sat a little ways from the tub. 

Nodding you swallowed hard and looked up to the man that had saved you from freezing to death. "We had just found out the night before I was taken. H...he was happy." you said before having to sniffle. Looking down you saw your tears fall to the water, ripples moving out to the rim of the wooden tub. "It's funny, I was the one that was unsure, worried about how he would react but he remained as calm as ever. H..he told me we would be okay... that we would take it on together." not being able to hold back your small sob you closed your eyes. "I..I'm sorry." 

Sniffling Bon shook his head. "No no. Don't apologize it's good to let it out." 

Wiping your eyes with your fingers that you were starting to get feeling in again you took a deep breath. "I think about him constantly... I didn't... before I didn't know if it was still alive. I know it probably sounds horrible but at times I wished it wasn't. It isn't that I don't want it I just... I didn't want it born into this. Now that I know though I... well I'm happy but at the same time it doesn't feel right. Croc he... he won't ever know... our baby will never know their dad. We'll never be a family." you cried. 

Dabbing away the tears that filled his eyes as he listened to Y/n's sorrows he sniffled. Looking down from the broken woman she finished he blinked. Silence filled the air for a moment before he shot his head up. "Yes he will."

Looking to the Queen you knit your brows. "Wha..."

Standing he struck a pose, "If it is the last thing I do I will make sure you and Mr. Zero are reunited."

[wonkookiemon]

Paradise (Taehyung x Reader)

→Word Count: 1715

→ Taehyung

→Warnings: Slightly Mature Content

→Plot: Choosing life as it is and life as it should be.

→ MASTERLIST 

Monsta X: WONHO:  

Series: We’re Not Fri(end)s: pt.1   pt.2

Midnight was always the best time to look at the sky. Seeing all the constellations align, the faint smell of rain that left (y��n) completely wanton for another shower of rain in this dry ass town.

“Yah, (Y/N), you've been out here for hours! Get back inside before you get a cold”

AND... Moment over. “What is it Tae, can’t you see I’m trying to be all deep an-”

“Remember when you said you’d ‘come inside in about five minutes and help me practice my lines.’” 

(Y/n) looked up at Tae, realizing how short she actually was for her to actually have to look up. Tae gave her a knowing glance as he rolled his brown eyes at her short comings.

“Sweetie you’re only 5′6, its honestly not that bad, plus you have really nice long legs so it makes up for it-Your also really gorgeous so that's a plus-”

“I’m five foot six and A HALF Kim Tae” (Y/N) pointed her finger up at him.

“I assure you hun, the weather up here is nice” Tae smirked letting his hair fall into his eyes. It was moments like these; the casually bickering, is when (Y/N) truly realized how much she loved Taehyung, and it consumed her with emotion to the point where she couldn’t hold in all that love at once.

“I love you!” (Y/N) blurted out. Tae looked at her in sudden shock. Then a look of recognition covered his face with a smile. “I love you too” he blurted out mimicking (Y/N)’s outburst. A roar of laughter came over the two of them as they made their way inside the dorms. 

“Wow don’t you two look cozy” Jimin smiled warmly at the site of two of his best friends laughing. Not until Tae came into closer into Jimin’s view could he realize that something was wrong. Tae’s smile never reached his eyes when he shared a look with Jimin, and it worried him.

“Jimin why couldn’t you be my understudy for helping this cry baby out on his lines.”

“You know I'm not that good at this acting stuff, you go to school for theater not me”

“Correction I dropped out of theater school” she reminded.

“Whatever (Y/N), those fools don’t know what they are missing” Jimin smiled.

“Awww Jimin” (Y/N) cooed. Making Jimin  throw his head back and laugh. Tae was awfully quiet for this moment, she saw him gazing at his fingers before he clutched part of his shirt.

“Tae are you alright?” (y/n) asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah sweetie i’m fine” Tae looked up from his fingers and gave her a half smile.

A familiar ringtone disrupted the moment any further before she could ask more questions. Looking at the screen she saw that it was her friend Caroline and she completely forgot that the two of them planed on late night plans. shooting her a quick text should suffice, thinking it might be a little rude to just leaving Tae for another one of her friends. 

“Alright boys I’m off to my place. I’ll see you later?”

“Leaving so soon?” Jimin frowned.

“Yeah, Jimin its 12:30 in the morning, I should probably get going”

“Oh, right uh-tell Caroline I said hi” Jimin’s a smart person. Caroline was the only person she would spend time with other than the two of them.

“Let me use the bathroom  before I go”

Still sitting on the couch Tae smiled then nodded. She still felt like something was up with him but she just didn't know what. Tae was really good at hiding how he felt and she hatted that the most about him. It always gave her the impression that he was a ticking time up just waiting to go off, but he never did. Its just a matter of time before he realizes how unhealthy that was for him. People always saw him as a happy person even when things go wrong, they always expected him to be happy. But she of all people knew how that label took its toll on his life. So instead of pressuring him to tell  her everything, (Y/N) is waiting for the moment that he finally tells her everything. Until then she’ll have to wait.

After using the bathroom (Y/N) made her way down stairs only to stop mid-way through when she herd Tae and Jimin talking in hushed whispers.

“Tae this isn’t healthy” Jimin sighed “I know you love her but you can’t keep her in the dark any longer, it will just drive a huge wedge between the both of you if you do no say anything about it.” 

A small gasp left (Y/N)’s mouth at the thought of Tae having a love interest and not telling her. She wonder who it was and why. Surly they couldn’t be talking of something else? The more she thought about it she couldn’t bare to stand the thought of Tae dating ANYONE. No one could ever be good enough for her best friend. She’ll have to meet this bitc*h to scope her out.

“I love her Jimin, I love her soo much that my heart aches. Every fiber of my being yearns to be loved by her alone, everything I do is to make her happy. All I need is her Jimin, don’t you get it? She will be furious if she finds out that I’ve been keeping this from her.”

“She is leading you on and she doesn’t even know it. How can someone be soo blind that that can’t see that their best friend is madly in love with them, and to even thi-”

(Y/N) couldn’t even believe her ears. How could Tae keep a secret from her as big as this. SO what if she didn’t approve of the girl, she clearly made Tae very happy. The fact that he had another “GIRL” best friend shocked her greatly. 

Reveling herself in the light of the hallway, Tae and Jimin both looked shocked to see her out in the living room. Tae’s face turned a bright shade of red while Jimin rolled his eyes in annoyance. It was so silent as the three of them exchanged looks. 

“So whose the girl huh?” (Y/N) finally said, still trying to contain her anger. Tae scratched the back of his head with a confused as hell expression. Jimin looked as twice as confused.

“Did I miss something?”

“Are you fu*king with me right now?” Jimin looked more than pissed causing (y/n) to wonder where the sudden change in attitude towards her came from.

“I’m asking a question and I want an answer” (y/n) spat out. Tae looked so uncomfortable and it hurt her to know that he kept this from her.

“I thought we were best friends, huh? whatever happed to that Taehyung?” Without her consent fat tears rolled straight down her exhausted face. Tae opened his mouth but nothing seemed to come out worrying her. His lips trembled and his body shook as he placed his hands on his face as he let out a gut wrenching sob.

(Y/N) forgot all about Jimin and rushed to Tae kneeling down between his legs. She gripped his forearms and shook at them, wanting to get Taehyungs attention.

“Taehyung baby, look at me” (y/n) sniffed. Taehyung immediately dropped his hands and looked straight into her eyes at the use of his full name. Tears still leaked from his swollen eyes and his body still hiccupped from the sobs he tried to hold it, but at least she had his attention.

“Talk to me” she took both his hands and intertwined them into her own.

Shutting his eyes for a moment Taehyung looked beautiful even if he was emotionally wrecked at the moment, her heart hurt seeing the man she loved being in soo much pain.

‘its always been you” Tae whispered out his eyes still closed almost as if he was afraid that if he opened them (Y/n) would disappear.

“I don't understand Taehyung

”You are everything to me” He said looking at her seriously.

“I love you to Taehyung, now tell me what's wrong.” He shook his head in frustration.

“No (y/n), you don’t get it! I like you-no, I’m in love with you dammit have been since I first saw you. Do you understand, you are the only girl I have ever been close with or even allowed to get close to me. Its always been you” Cupping (Y/N) cheeks softly in his hands. He leaned in slowly, “its always been you” He whispered on her lips before sealing them with his own. Neither of them moved or breathed. All the thoughts that were in (Y/n)’ s head vanished, and all that was left was Taehyung. All the emotions and feelings hit her at once and it overwhelmed her senses. Taking the first stepped forwards (y/n) began to move her lips softly on Taehyungs plush lips making him gasp at the feel of your lips for the first time. Finding his control again, Taehyung grabbed (y/n) waist and lifted her to his lap. Her hands flew to his neck to bring him closer as their lips moved feverishly on one another's. Taehyung nibbled on her bottom lip harshly, groaning as the taste of metal hit his tongue, he hadn't ment to be this rough but he has waited so long for this moment. (Y/n)’ s body trembled as she opened her mouth and allowed Taehyung’ s tongue to invade her mouth. Both of them let out moans at the taste of each other. It was almost a euphoric moment if it wasn't for Jimin’s strong protest.

“-Please if you too can just take this upstairs.”

“Sorry Chim……. you had to see all of that-” she could barely look at him in the eye as she got off Taehyungs lap.

“It was cute till you started eating his face y/n”

“Yah, Jimin-sshi we’re leaving” Tae got up behind y/n, holding her waist in his hands. Looking over her shoulder she smiled at the irony of this whole situation. The “what if’s clouded“ her mind and judgement yet the more she looked at Taehyung you couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be. Who would have known that she was just right where she needed to be. 

[jincherie]

You kicked a can that someone had left discarded in the gutter, watching it tumble across the pavement desolately before you felt guilty and ran to pick it up, tossing it into the nearest bin. You were on the outskirts of the city, and as one would expect there was a fair bit more litter. You didn’t want to think of what it would look like for a superhero to be walking around picking up litter at around 9 o’clock at night on the outskirts of town, but you couldn’t help it. Skewed as it may be in some ways, your moral compass was still very much working. If you saw rubbish, you were painfully inclined to pick it up. You wished your moral compass could be so straightforward all the time, especially regarding villains. If you saw a villain, were you painfully inclined to arrest them? Historically, apparently not.

As though even the barest mention of them in your thoughts were enough to summon their dumb faces, you heard a sound to your left and turned your head to catch sight of two familiar figures attempting to sneak along the rooftops. You didn’t think they’d seen you yet, so with a sigh you waited until they dropped down into an alley between buildings and slipped up behind them.

“What are you doing?” you queried as soon as you were within a metre of them and most of the way inside the alley, your brows raised. You sounded like a mother who’d just caught her children sneaking cookies from the jar in the middle of the night.

Min and V nearly jumped out of their skin, lurching away from each other where they’d been hurriedly whispering between themselves. Min flattened against one of the building’s walls, hand pressed to his chest and wide eyes on you. V had covered his mouth, as though to prevent any noise that might betray his moment of weakness coming out.

“Jesus H Christ, Spark, don’t do that!” Min hissed, eyes narrowing in a glare that was all bark no bite. You snickered, crossing your arms and levelling them with an amused look.

“I know you’re villains, but the way you’re sneaking around looks suss even to me. What are you up to?” you asked, a part of you genuinely curious and another asking for the sake of knowing whether or not you’d be trying to haul their asses to jail later on.

V let out a disgruntled noise. “Bendy Brenda decided to make a field trip to Sunset City and caught us trying to rob a sex store.”

You were torn between cackling at the nickname and the sheer ridiculousness of the act they’d been caught doing, and simmering at the fact that possibly the one superhero you could not stand had decided to waltz on over into your city unannounced and and most certainly uninvited. Your rage won over and your expression fell into an incredulous glare. “The fuck? Elastagirl is here? I warned her what would happen if she set foot in this city again—”

Min snorted, apparently enjoying the sight of you all worked up over something that wasn’t him, V or Tempest. “I believe she goes by Elasta Lass nowadays.”

You made a strangled noise of disbelief and rage, fingers twitching with the urge to constrict around something. “Are you shitting me? She has the nerve to walk around my city with a dumb name like that, fuckin pretentious bitc—”

“My god, I’ve never seen you so angry at someone that wasn’t us before,” the taller of the two marvelled, sweeping dark blonde locks from his masked face as he grinned slyly at you. “Whatever did poor Elasta Lass do to get on our beloved Spark’s hit list like that?”

You levelled the male with a very unimpressed look. “I don’t know, why don’t you ask her when I throw her out and you with her?”

V cackled, but Min was quick to shush you both as his phone beeped. You watched, somewhat intrigued, as his face visibly paled and he straightened, showing whatever was on the phone to his accomplice. V’s eyes shot wide behind the mask, adam’s apple bobbing as he gulped heavily.

“Oh shit,” he choked. “Min, we gotta haul ass.”

His accomplice nodded, turning to face you and placing a hand on your shoulder with an expression that you didn’t quite know how to decipher.

“Spark, it’s been good knowing you,” he began, lilting voice completely serious as he spoke. His brows were drawn together, a sombre look crossing his features. “We’ve had some good times, made some good memories. But alas, this time we flew too close to the sun on our wings of poor impulse control and terrible decision making, and the time has come for us to fucking leg it. Take care of yourself, and send up a flare after this is all over so we know you’re still alive. Ta ta, Spark!”

With that he delivered a cheeky kiss to your forehead before bolting, V following suit and darting after his accomplice as he scaled the wall and made his way across the rooftops once more. You hardly managed to comprehend exactly what had just happened, mind blank, until V turned, imparting one last gift to you before he disappeared over the rooftop.

“Bendy Brenda is over on the corner of Foyo and Albert street!” he called, waving his hand. “Go ham, have no mercy; she confiscated our dildos!”

Then he was gone, the only remnant of their presence being the sudden rage that spike within you at the mention of your worst heroic nemesis. You balled your fists, turning on your heel to make good on the tip-off V had just provided— you could figure out exactly what that whole weird interaction meant later.

For now, you had a stupid stretchy hero to apprehend for trespassing on your turf.