#she never admitted to my face i'm an investment

[russellsppttemplates]

Never letting you go (Max Verstappen)

There was nothing stopping you and Max now

Note: english is not my first language. This is the first Max big piece to sort of introduce their arc, let me know what you think! ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions Jos forbidding Max and reader of dating, curse words

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"What do you mean you're going to the Grand Prix?", you quirked your brow as your friend Cara sipped her coffee, "I thought you said you'd never be caught dead one of those", you chuckled.

"Matthew's company got a bunch of passes because they got a deal with one of the sponsors - I think? - I don't know much about it, all I know is that he brought three home because he thought you'd like to join us", she offered.

You never hid how much you enjoyed watching Formula One, even if watching it, especially in the last couple of years, often brought emotionally heavy memories back.

"That's nice, count me in! What type of passes are they?", you questioned, taking a bite from the cake on your plate.

"I don't know, he was talking all about them and I must admit I zoned out", she admitted, "but he said they were really good! He was very surprised at what the passes had, but his boss is very cheap so I don't know how great they actually are considering the possible comparison", she smiled as you nodded, "count me in, though. It's been a while since I stepped foot on one of them", you recalled.

The last race you attended was when Max was in Formula Three still. The paddock was so big and crowded with so many people, you doubted you'd bump into him. It wouldn't do you any good, would it?

"How did you get hospitality passes?", you gasped as Matthew handed you the lanyard, "they've invested a lot of money so I guess the sponsors didn't mind loosening the belt", he shrugged, putting his own around his neck after scanning it.

"Thank you for this, by the way", you flashed him a smile, "no worries, Y/N, the only way I could convince her to come was if you joined us, and I don't mind actually spending the weekend with someone who also knows a little about the sport", he chuckled as Cara laced her arms with her fiancé, "I'm glad he has you to talk to as well, there's only so much feigned interest I can muster up", she rolled her eyes.

Scuderia Alpha Tauri had been Toro Rosso, but despite the name change, as soon as you walked in, some faces were still familiar from the pictures you got sent from Max on gia first season with them.

"Why did you get interested in Formula One anyway?", Matthew asked you while you sipped on a latte, "I always loved the idea of the cars going very very fast, and then when I actually had the knowledge to understand how they worked, they really intrigued me", you offered, "I also had a friend who was very into it, so he also escalated my interest in it".

"He didn't pull you enough to work on motor sport though?", Matt wondered.

"I didn't enjoy the competitiveness of all of it", you admitted, "it's very strict, and if you want to be successful, it takes the good things away - your family, your friends", you opened your heart to him, thankfully noticing it and sorting the heartfelt confession seemingly about a job, "they travel a lot and they're really competitive that is, I'd never be able to do that for a job", you smiled, hoping you saved yourself from further questions.

"That's why you did mechanical engineering, then?", he asked, "for the most part, yes", you replied, "Oh, they're starting free practice", you smiled, looking over to the track from the balcony seats.

Sophie walked into the RedBull hospitality, looking for her family. Because it was Monaco, they felt safe enough to bring the Lio and Luka to the paddock, knowing they would be close to home in case things didn't go well as planned.

"Grandma!", the oldest boy called her from his spot on his father's lap, his brother sleeping on his mother's chest.

"Hey, my dears", she greeted, "You won't believe who I found on my way here", Sophie began, "I'm surprised Max didn't tell me he invited Y/N. It's a shame she isn't here with us, though", she commented.

The first indicator of surprise should be the way the blond woman looked at her mother, "what do you mean Y/N is here?", she whisper-yelled.

"I just saw her in the Alpha Tauri hospitality, I was walking with Helmut and he was headed there, that's when I noticed her. Max didn't tell you?", she quirked an eyebrow just as her son sat down next to them.

"What didn't I tell who?", Max spoke, setting his plate of food down on the table.

"Why didn't you tell us you invited Y/N for this weekend?", Victoria was the first to scold him, hitting his arm in a sisterly manner, "and in Alpha Tauri of all places? I'm sure they would've bent the rules a little and give you a pass so she could be a RedBull guest!".

Max thought he heard incorrectly. Y/N, his Y/N was in the paddock, in the sister team of the one he now drove for.

"I, I didn't offer her anything", Max said, his brother in-law looking at him weirdly as well, "I don't know how or why she is here, but I had nothing to do with it. We haven't spoken in a while", he mumbled. A while, three years, same thing, he supposes.

"Well, I just saw her. You should go say hi, I'm sure she would love to but she can't exactly find you where she is, it has to be the other way around", Sophie offered.

"What makes you believe she would?", Max questioned, both himself and his mother and sister.

"Because the way you never forgot her, she never forgot you", Victoria sterned, "don't you think she deserves your attention? She was in it for the long run, Max, and maybe she has moved on, maybe even has someone", the thought alone made Max loose his cool, "but she was your friend, the person you trusted most in the world and you let her slip".

"Don't sugar coat it, please", Max sarcastically replied.

"It's true, Max, and you know it", Sophie said, sensing her son didn't want to talk about the topic, but not allowing him to leave the table without a piece of her mind as well.

Max needed to put on his suit again, ready for qualifying, walking along the corridor until he found his door.

"Hey, before you go", Victoria called her brother as he was about to go into his driver's room, "Lio is really fussy, so we're just going back to your place, I'm sorry", she said.

"It's fine, whatever you feel the most comfortable with", he said, waving at his nephews and brother in-law.

"We will be supporting you from home, then", she said, kissing his cheek, "And Max? I know you're not used to it, but follow your heart", she smiled.

"Can I do that now?", he softly bit back, smiling and blushing at his words.

"What's stopping you?", Victoria said as she walked back to her family.

"Who is that?", Jos asked as Max asked him if he could invite you over for dinner before the season began.

The conversations with Toro Rosso were getting serious and the opportunity for a seat in Formula One was right there, up for him to grab if he worked enough.

"She's my friend, you know Y/N", Max tried to reason with his father.

"For this to work, Max, I think you need to distance yourself from home", Jos advised, ignoring his mention of you and carrying on with his lecture, "I'm talking no parties, no trips to come and see friends and family - I really think those are just getting in the way between you and the career you deserve".

The statement was clear, and Max knew better than to question it.

"I've spoken to your mother - she wasn't the biggest fan -, but you really need to focus on this", Jos reiterated, "no friends, much less girlfriends", he chuckled.

The dinner ended up being just Jos, Max and Victoria, the thought of having you there quickly erased in his head.

When Max met up with you before he left for the season, he was antsy. Just a week before, you had stolen innocent kisses from eachother's lips and revelled in the feeling of being in eachother's embrace without a care in the world. And it felt good, so good, like the piece that was missing in Max's life finally completed the puzzle.

"Hey", you greeted, kissing the corner of his lips and allowing him to pull you down to sit on the sofa.

"I spoke to my dad, I'm leaving in a few days", Max said, "there's some testing they want me to do still", he mumbled, lacing your fingers in his.

"And where do we end up?", you asked the million euro question. Truthfully, you entertained the thought. Even though being away from Max for most of the year would be a challenge, the love you felt for him was too big, too great for you to forgo that challenge. You were his and he would be yours.

"It's not going to work, Y/N. I need to focus on racing", he stated blankly despite how much it hurt him to utter those words out to you as the conversation with his father resonated with him.

"Max your focus is getting a Formula One seat", his father sterned, "do you know how hard it is? How much effort and work you have to put in? There can't be any distractions!"

"But Y/N isn't a distraction!", Max reasoned. If anything, you were the one keeping him humble and with both feet on the ground at all times. You cared for him, not because of his racing, who he was or who he could become, but because you loved eachother.

You'd never do anything to ruin his career, Max thought as he worked up the courage to tell you all of it. He couldn't get distracted, not now. He couldn't afford making mistakes because he had a girlfriend back at home waiting on him.

Your understanding, however, wasn't aligned with his expectations. He hoped you'd fight, at least, but you swalled your tears and nodded, "okay, Max. I hope you get your seat, you deserve it so much, I know it will happen".

Max put in on pole, leaving you to smile and snap a picture of the moment, wondering if you'd have the courage to send it to him.

"So, does this mean it's over?", Cara asked, "Because I could do with going home, actually", she nudged.

"Let's go, then!", you smiled, putting your phone in your bag and looking for the way out, ending up following the other guests into the paddock.

"Y/N, dear!", you heard someone call your name, and on cue, you looked for the voice despite the fact that it wad unlikely someone recognised you there.

Sophie didn't age, you thought, as you looked at the source of the voice that called you.

"I'm not going to hold you up, guys, you can go!", you smiled, waving at Matthew and Cara once you assured them you would be fine.

"I'm sorry, Sophie - they're my friends, and he was the one who got the passes from his office", you apologised for leaving her to wait a little for you.

"It's alright, dear. It's been so long since I've seen you", she nudged, "I'm sure Max would love to see you, too!", she jumped straight in.

"Would he, though?", you squinted your eyes.

"He would, Y/N", Sophie said earnestly, "I saw you this morning - at Alpha Tauri -, and he knows you're here", she smiled, "I'm assuming you're watching the race, too. Pay him a visit, okay?", she rubbed your shoulder and left a kiss on your cheek, "He's also my ride home, so I need to go look for him! Bye, Y/N!".

Race day meant rush everywhere, so you got to the paddock just in time before everyone rushed inside, finding the perfect spot to watch the race.

"I need to take this call, one second", you said to Cara, recognising Max's contact on your phone.

"Y/N, hi! I didn't think you'd pick up actually", you could hear the nervousness on his voice, "thanks for the picture, by the way, it was very... nice".

"It's no problem really, I thought it would be a good memory to keep", you smiled, "are you ready for the race? Or do you want me to give you a pep talk?", you chuckled. Back in the day, whenever he didn't feel too confident about a race, you had the power to help him out his head in the right place and bring his winning mentality to light.

"I'm fine, actually", he smiled, "I- I was wondering if you'd like to meet up later", he gulped, "I'd like to talk to you, but it's difficult until the race finishes, and then debriefs and media and all that".

"Sure, text me when you're done then", you stated boldly, "have a good race Max, you know I'm supporting you".

"Even if you're with Alpha Tauri?", he joked.

"I never stopped supporting you, it's not going to be a guest pass that's going to change it", you said as he bid you goodbye, ending the call and finding your friends.

When Max won, you clapped unashamedly as everyone else seemed to join you in your excitement, and after the race celebrations were done with, you waited patiently for the text to get to your phone.

"So you're staying back?", Cara asked, "I am, I'm meeting a friend", you explained. At her curious stare, you furthered, "do you remember the guy I told you about when you tried to set up that double date?", she nodded, "yes, the guy you were friends with, and when you both wanted to take a step forward, he had this big shot as his dream career and his father wouldn't allow him to date anyone", she said as she realized, "my goodness, he's here? Y/N, go for it!", she encouraged, "I know you still have feelings for him, who knows? Maybe this is your chance to reconnect", she rubbed your shoulder.

After you bid goodbye to Cara and Matthew, a text go through to your phone.

From: Max

Mum is waiting for you at the door :)

Approaching the hospitality, you quickly spotted Sophie, "c'mon in, dear! Max wanted me to get you myself, he was afraid no one would ler you in", she chuckled, guiding you through until you were in their dining area.

"Y/N!", Max beamed, setting down the crayons he was drawing with at the table with Luka and walking up to you.

"Hey everyone!", you waved at Victoria, putting a pin the two little boys' curious stares as they looked at you so you could hug Max.

"Congratulations, Max, I knew you could do it", you whispered into his skin, his arms hugging you so tightly against him.

"Thank you, Y/N", he spoke, "I missed you so much, I missed this so much", he squeezed you one more time before allowing you to greet the rest of his family.

"This is Tom, and that's Lio and Luka", Victoria said after she hugged you tighlty, "say hi, guys!", she encouraged as the two little copies of Max waved back at you.

"We're going to head home, it was great seeing you, Y/N!", Sophie announced, "I'm sure we'll see eachother a lot more from now on", Victoria complimented, helping her husband pack up the kids' belongings and toys so they could retire to Max's apartment.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner sometime this week", he jumped straight forward, "I'm having dinner with the team today and then the rest of the grid want to go to the club, so I wouldn't be able to spend that much time with you, and I want to be able to just focus on you", he smiled.

"That's fine by me, I appreciate the thought", you smiled as he led you to one of the tables, asking one of the caffé staff for something to drink for the two of you.

“Listen, I think, I think we found each again for a reason", he began boldly, not sure if this was the way to go after not having spoken to you in a couple of years. Still, it wasn't a lie.

"Define found, considering we've been iving in the same city for nearly a year", you smiled, "although you don't spend much time here anyway, so I guess that's a nice enough excuse", you teased, your foot tapping his shin playfully under the table.

"So, Monaco, hm?", Max started, "I didn't expect you to live here out of all places", he nudged, wanting to know more about your move but afraid he was stepping in vulnerable territory.

"I did it because of my earnings for sure. I've got to save as much as I can on tax on the fortune I make as a female engineer", you sternly said as he looked the most surprised you'd ever seen him, "I'm joking - not all of us move to Monaco so our million euro salaries have better taxes", you teased.

"Why did you do it, then?", he asked, smiling at how familiar it all seemed. Just like old times, he thought.

"The company I work for was the one that needed the tax benefits", you clicked your tongue, "and they wanted people to move here. Only one of my colleagues moved here with her whole family, as they expected, so they ended up calling the ones that weren't attached to anything or anyone in particular, and I was one of them", you shrugged your shoulders, "I moved to a new country with a different language, the only people I knew were my work colleagues, so I had no one to complain about them to, but I make it work - at least I like to think I do", you smiled.

Not attached to anyone, he recalled, humming at your response, "it's not such a bad place to live, right? Granted I don't spend much time year, but still enough to appreciate it", Max spoke.

"How about you, Mr World Champion", you nudged, "how does it feel?".

"Obviously it's great, and everything that I worked for", he added, knowing the underlying topic in the conversation, "I get to drive fast cars and I travel the world, there's not much left for it to be the complete dream", he said, gingerly touching your fingers over the table and accepting your hold when you laced them together.

Conversation was flowing easily until one of the employees told Max that he would have to go and get ready for the dinner, meaning you would have to part ways.

"Does Tuesday work for you? I'm not sure how well I'll be tomorrow", he chuckled, "yes, that's fine by me, just text me the address and the time", you smiled, getting up and kissing his cheek, "have a good time, Max, but be careful with the alcohol, I'd hate to have to pick you up again", you reminded him of the time he got way too drunk and he insisted he would only go home if you came to pick him up.

.

Dinner was great and Max invited you back to his place, hoping you'd be able to talk properly about the elephant in the room in a more private and comfortable place.

"You're struggling there, aren't you? Even with your itty bitty small hands?", Max teased as your pinky just about stretched enough for you to not lose everything by dumping the contents of your bag on the sidewalk.

As you and Max left the restaurant, you fiddled with your wallet in your bag, hoping to keep the card the waiter gave you safe for the next time you wanted to visit the place.

"I do not have itty bitty small hands!", you argued, shaking your bag a little to make sure everything was safely in place.

"We need to have the same starting line - like", you rearranged them so your wrists would be touching. Still, it didn't make much of a difference on your end. It looked like it even highlighted a few more differences, "yours is much bigger, I give up", you giggled.

"See?", Max said as he held your hand out against his, "these are the size of fairy hands! Tinkerbell probably has bigger hands than yours!", he exclaimed as you noticed how much bigger his hand was compared to yours. His fingers were a little bit thicker than yours and his palm covered all of your hand almost completely.

Now or never, Max thought as he laced your fingers in his once you let your arms drop and rest by your side. His thumb rubbed your skin and warmed you up, "was this your plan all along?", you wondered, feeling the bravery around you two and choosing to act on it.

"Lacing my hand in yours or proving to you that my biggest mistake was letting you go all of those years ago?", Max stated as he looked deeply into your eyes.

"We should talk about this inside", you bit your lip, allowing him to guide you through the apartment complex he lived in.

His living room was decorated in classy tones, probably with the help of him mother and sister, as you sat down on the sofa and face eachother.

"I know I apologised at the time, but I'm still sorry, Y/N", Max said, "at the time it was the dream and I didn't have much room for my own decisions. Still, I should've fought", he concluded.

"You didn't blatantly acknowledge it and decided we couldn't be together, Max", you conforted despite the hurt you felt at the time, "it hurt, - like a bitch actually -, but not because you were following your dream. I never wanted to pull you back and get in the way of your achievements", you gulped, "but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't like to give this a go, to give us a chance", you smiled.

"I know I have crazy schedules - I am barely here during the season -, but you were always the one I thought about. When I first raced in F1, when I got my first podium, my first win, my bad races - I wanted you there", he admitted, blue eyes looking into yours, "I can't promise that it will be easy, but I'll never risk you or our relationship, that's non negotiable", he stated.

Moving closer to him, you cupped his cheek with your palm, the slight stubble tickling your skin, "I'm in, Max", you smiled, taking the plunge and kissing his mouth, lips moving in sync as his hands pulled you into his lap.

The blissful moment was interrupted by a meow, Jimmy and Sassy walking into the living room, "Oh, guys", Max held you close to him as the cats sniffled you, "this is Jimmy and Sassy, my cats, took then long enough to leave the guest bedroom", he smiled as you tried to pet them, "cute, they seem nice enough - for cats anyway".

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 20 pt. 1- I Do

Summary: It's finally here, the day you've been waiting for since the day Javi came into your life and changed it for the better- It's your wedding day, and things couldn't be more perfect. Except for the fact that you and Javi can barley contain your excitement as you wait to see each other.

Word Count: 11.4K (If this wasn't 2 parts, this would be 30k long and wouldn't be finished until May)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, marriage kink (?), kind of semi-public sex (they're gettin' busy in the bathroom), Kind of getting caught (Steve needs to mind his own business), wedding things!!, family dynamics, mentions of death/grief, lots of emotions, Javi being an anxious, blubbering, hot mess, Javi being so in love and is so excited to spend the rest of his life with you that it physically hurts me (this chapter is lots of fluff and feelings and not as much smut, sorry!! Don't worry, there's PLENTY more to come next chapter 🤪)

A/N: Hi friends!!! Well, she's finally here, the moment we've all been waiting for- our two favorite idiots are finally getting married 😭💕 While I would have loved to make this one chapter, it literally would have been SO long, and Lord knows when I actually would have finished with it. So this chapter is the morning leading up to the ceremony, and part 2 will be the ceremony and reception!! I'm not even gonna lie, I bawled several times writing this chapter. These two mean so much to me, and I'm so honored that you care enough about them to be invested in my silly little story, too 🥺 HAPPY WEDDING DAY!!!

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For the better part of his life, Javier Peña was convinced there was nothing more soul-crushingly painful and miserable than a wedding. On a day that was supposed to be filled with happiness and joy, Javi had spent more years than he’d like to admit doing anything to avoid the occasion all together. Because for him, weddings had meant none of those things. Weddings had only served as yet another reminder of the failure he had chalked himself up to be. 

Leaving Lorraine at the altar and running away to Colombia. 

Watching the successes of everyone else’s blissful domestic lives play out in front of him, while he’d never felt so alone. 

Convincing himself that he would never be worthy of love because of the terrible person that he’d become. 

Weddings had been something that Javier Peña hated more than most things in life. 

But that was until he met you. 

Because today, on the morning of his own wedding, Javi was quite literally bursting at the seams with excitement, goofy grin stretched from ear to ear knowing that in a few short hours, he got to marry the most amazing, beautiful, perfect woman he had ever met. And even though the reality had set in that today was finally the day the two of you started your forever together, he was positive that he’d never get over the reality that you would always be his. 

As he pulled his truck up the driveway to your new home where he should have been sleeping for the better half of last night, there was a part of him that couldn’t have been more thankful he had been able to sneak in just a few more hours with you before sunrise, knowing the anxious anticipation of waiting to see you all day, let alone see you in your wedding dress at the other end of the aisle, was enough to already have his heart beating a million miles a minute at the ripe hours of the morning. 

While he should have known better his Dad would already be well awake by the time he snuck back home, Chucho’s welcoming grin from the front porch was already laced with enough forgiveness for Javi to hope he’d be spared at least some shit from his father. 

“”Morning, mijo.” Chucho chuckled, watching Javi’s sheepish stride up the driveway towards the house, slowly sipping on his cup of coffee with a boyish grin on his face, knowing damn well where his son had been without having to say a word. 

“I already know what you’re gonna say, Pops.” Javi sighed, shaking his head in embarrassment as he approached his dad, letting out a soft grunt as he took a seat next to his father on the top step of the front porch. 

“I haven’t said anything, Javier. Do you have something you want to say?” Chucho couldn’t help but snicker, raising his eyebrows at his son, as he watched his cheeks turn a petrified pink. 

“Nope, I am- oh, fuck me- nope I am, uh, all good.” Javi stammered, burying his hands in his face before running them through the sleepy curls of his hair and over the nape of his neck, his eyes still peeled to the ground, avoiding Chucho’s smug grin. 

“Then all I have to say is,” Cucho paused, taking another swig of coffee, “I hope you never stop loving her the way that you do now.” Javi looked up at his dad in confusion, wondering how his sneaking out wasn’t shaping up to be some sort of teenage scolding from his father. “I already know that you know you are a very, very lucky man Javier, but I also hope that you know you are going to make a wonderful husband. Eres un buen hombre. Estoy muy feliz por ti, mijo. Tu madre también lo estaría. Muy feliz.” (You are a good man. I am so happy for you, son. Your mom would be, too. So happy.) 

Letting his eyes shift off his feet where they had been stuck, Javi looked back up at his father, tears welling in his eyes at Chucho’s reassuring smile, reaching out to wrap his arm around his son, pulling him close enough to let Javi’s head fall on his shoulder, the two sitting for a quiet moment in silence. 

Javi couldn’t help but feel a twinge in his heart, thinking about the fact his mom wouldn’t be with him for the biggest day of his life. His mother had left this world when Javi was at his lowest- alone and halfway across the globe, fighting for a cause he wasn’t even sure he believed in. It had always haunted him that his mom had died worried that her son had become a broken man, and would never be proud of the person he’d turned out to be. When he returned home, he felt even worse thinking that his one living parent probably felt that way, too. 

But what brought him solace in a time that he needed it most, was you. You had given him a reason to make his parents proud, to make himself proud. While his mom would never be able to tell him the words he so desperately longed to hear, he knew in his heart that the life he’d built because of you was all the comfort he needed to prove to himself Lucia was smiling down on him when he needed it most. And as he looked up at the sky, the pink and orange rays of the beautiful sunrise beginning to spill over the horizon, he had never been more sure that even though his mom couldn’t physically be by his side, that Lucia Peña would still be with him every step of the way.  

“Fuck, I miss her, Pops. I wish she was here.” 

“She is, Javier. She always will be.” 

After soaking in a few more quiet moments together staring out into the shimmering sunrise, Chucho let out a content sigh, giving Javi a gentle pat on the back and rustling the dark curls of his son’s thick hair. 

“But, if there is one thing I know about your Mother, it’s that  I can practically hear her screeching at us wasting our time being sad about her on the happiest day of your life. Chucho, por qué piedres el tiempo estar triste? Basta de quejarte! Nuestro hijo se está casando, pendejo!” (Why are you wasting your time being sad! Stop moping! Our son is getting married, stupid.) Chucho mocked, shaking his head at the sky at the scolding he knew he’d be getting from his wife, making him and Javi burst into laughter. “And, if there’s another thing I know about your mother,” Chucho paused again, letting out a loud grunt as he pushed himself up to stand, resting his arm on Javi’s shoulder, “it’s that her and I would both agree there better be a nieto (grandchild) in our lives 9 months from now. Dios mío (oh my God), Javier, even on the night before your wedding you two can’t keep your hands to yourselves! I am truly surprised I don’t have 14 grandchildren already.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Pops….” Javi whispered to himself over his dad’s schoolgirl snickers, watching his son’s face fall flush once again, standing up to follow behind his dad back inside as Chuhco began to waddle his way across the porch. 

Although Javi could have tried to plead his case to his dad to prove his innocence, truth be told, today, he really didn’t care. Today, the only thing he cared about was that in just a few short hours, he got to meet you, his wife, at the end of the aisle and spend his forever with the woman he loved more than life itself. For the first time in his life, Javier Peña couldn’t have been more excited for a wedding. 

You weren’t sure how many more times you had read the scratchy print scribbled across the bright yellow post-it Javi had left behind on his pillow before he had snuck out for the morning, but you did know that your heart beat faster and faster in anxious anticipation with every glance over his words, counting down the second until you got to see him again. 

You had kept yourself in your room, convinced that your excited impatience would have you awake well before everyone else still sleeping at the ranch, but as you heard clanging and bickering starting to echo from the kitchen, you should have known better that your mom and Connie would be up to something to kick start your wedding day. 

With a yawn and stretch of your arms above your head, you flopped yourself out of bed, exchanging Javi’s worn t-shirt and sleep shorts for the white pajama set your mom had insisted she buy for you to get ready in as a compromise for your adamant despise at the white silky robe that had “bride” stitched across it in big pink letters that she had begged to buy you. 

Shuffling down the hallway, the commotion in the kitchen only became increasingly louder, now realizing almost everyone must be awake for whatever antics were taking place for the early hours of the morning. As you turned the corner, you were greeted by an adorable “Happy Wedding Day!” banner that had been made by the girls hanging on the wall, decorated with adorable crayon drawings of flowers, you and Javi, and all of the horses of the Peña ranch dressed in wedding apparel. As your eyes scanned across the rest of the room, the kitchen table was already full of breakfast, balloons dangled from the ceiling, and your mom and Connie were actively working on filling up what was most likely one too many glasses of mimosas.  

“Happy wedding day, Auntie Bear!” A little voice cooed behind you, looking down to see a still very sleepy Olivia, hair still crazed and bed ridden as she wrapped herself around your hip, squeezing you in a tight hug. 

“Ahhhhh, there’s the bride!!” Your mom shrieked, her pitch enough to make everyone in the room wince as she barreled towards you, joining Olivia to engulf you in her grasp. After everyone had recovered from your mom’s shrill greeting, everyone else had soon joined in on squeezing you in a giant group hug, the gesture in itself making you smile, but the physical restraint in the middle of a human sandwich being a little too much for you this early in the morning. 

“Thanks guys. I uh, I would like to make it out alive for my wedding so maybe if we don’t squish me to death, that would be great.” You grunted, trying to wriggle out of the arms squishing your body, hoping that someone would get the hint. 

“Alright, I think she’s probably had enough.” Connie laughed, finally noticing the look on your face, prompting everyone to give you at least a little breathing room. 

“I’m just so excited for you! I can’t believe you’re getting married, sweetie!” Your mom, clearly not picking up on the hint, was now back to squeezing you in a bear hug again tight enough to make your eyes pop out of your head. “Okay, sorry, sorry, I’m done now, just had to get one last one out of my system… for now. Here, have a seat, honey,” Your mom gestured towards the kitchen table, pulling out a chair for you to sit in, “we have about an hour before we have to start doing hair and makeup but we have plenty of breakfast for you to choose from before we get the day started. How’d you sleep?” 

“Oh, um- fine, I um, I slept fine.” You lied, now sheepishly staring down at the overflowing plate of breakfast food your mom had set in front of you, taking a hefty bite of pancake before looking back up, your eyes meeting Connie’s, a suspicious smirk gleaming on her face as she stared at you, crossing your arms over your chest as you swallowed your food with a more audible than intended gulp. 

“Oh good!” Your mom replied, obvious to yours and Connie’s silent interaction as she meandered around the kitchen. “Well, eat up, I’m off to go check on some things outside, but by the time I get back in here, that plate better be cleared! Girls, come help Grandma, let your Aunt finish her breakfast!” 

“Okay!” Your nieces giggled, following behind your mom into the backyard, leaving you and Connie alone in the kitchen, hearing her silently laugh to herself as she sat down next to you at the table. 

“Good sleep, huh? Good sleep that definitely had nothing to do with Javi’s truck that left here at 6:00 AM this morning?” Connie snickered, giving you a little wink as your cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, letting out a defeated sigh. 

“I promise it’s not what you think. I actually couldn’t sleep and I called Javi and he ended up coming over so I wouldn’t be up the whole night. I told him he didn’t have to, but I was up and stressed and having him here was the only thing that was going to help. It was just sleep, I promise.” 

“It’s okay, I believe you. I couldn’t sleep the night before my wedding either. I’m pretty sure if I did what you had done, Steve would have slept right through the phone call, or still would have been too drunk to drive over.” The two of you quietly giggled to yourselves as Connie reached out for your hand, holding it in hers, “I hope you know that he loves you so much. It always broke my heart to see Javi go through what he did, and how hard on himself he was because of it. You really are the best thing that could have ever happened to him. I’m so happy for the two of you, I couldn’t be more excited for today, honey.” 

Reaching across the table, Connie wrapped her arms around you, squeezing you in another hug, trying to hold back your sniffles as you felt happy tears beginning to well in your eyes. 

“Thank you, Connie.” 

“Of course. Now, you better pick what you want from that breakfast and throw away the rest before your mom gets back, I don’t think either one of us wants to be responsible for telling her that her food wasn’t sufficient enough for you.” 

You snorted, rolling your eyes at the thought of the dismay your mom would be in thinking that you didn’t get enough to eat before your big day as you put a reasonable amount of breakfast on a new plate to eat, discarding the other heaping pile that your mom had left you. 

“You are a smart woman, Connie Murphy.” 

“So I’ve been told.” 

The rest of the morning seemed to move by at an exponential pace- At the Pena ranch, hair and makeup was well underway for everyone, and running on time with incredible efficiency from the detailed schedule that your mom and Connie had put together. Even though your body was riddled with endless amounts of anxious anticipation and excitement as the clock ticked closer and closer to when Javi and the rest of the boys would finally get here, you were pleasantly surprised at how fun the morning had ended up being with all the girls, especially since your nieces and the Murphy girls had insisted on putting on a hilarious sing along spectacular for the majority of the time for entertainment while you got ready. 

Over at your new house, however, with the only getting ready that Javi needed to do being taking a shower and putting on his suit, the boys were convinced that he was going to put a hole in the floor from his anxious pacing as he counted down the minutes to leave. 

“Jav, have a beer, man, you just put this floor in, I think your wife’s gonna be pissed when she finds out she has to replace it before y’all even move in because you can’t sit still.” Steve chuckled, taking a sip out of his can before nudging your brothers sitting next to him on the couch as they watched their friend and future brother in law tread back and forth across the living room for what felt like the 117th time since they’d sat down. 

“I think I have to agree with Steve on this one, Javier, you are making me anxious and I’m not even the one getting married.” Chucho chimed in from the armchair seated next to the couch. 

“I’ll second what Steve said, man. Have a beer, Javi. You haven’t shut up all day about how fuckin’ excited you are, so what’s got you so worked up? You’ve seen her in a dress before dude, this one’s just white.” Your brother David snorted, his joke now soliciting some eye rolls from the rest of the boys, considering David was about single as they came, and was the only one of the group who wasn’t even remotely close to being married. 

“It’s a fucking wedding dress, you dingus, there’s obviously a difference.” Your dad groaned, walking up to your brother to give him a prompt smack in the back of the head, making your other brother Charlie snicker to himself, until he also decided to greet him with an equally harsh slap for good measure. 

“What the fuck was that for? I didn’t say anything!” Charlie winced, holding his hands up in defense. 

“Tell your brother to stop being an ass! She’s your sister too, for Christ’s Sake, you’re not gonna stand up for her either?! Jesus you two are the biggest idiots I’ve ever met. Even Patrick would have had enough common sense to keep that one in his head. Well, maybe not, but that’s besides the point.” That one at least cracked a little smile from your brothers, wishing that Patrick would have been here to see their sister’s big day, and to distribute the slapping pain more equally between the pair. 

“I just… Fuck, I just wanna see her. I can’t wait to see her. I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my whole life. The suspense is fucking killing me.” Javi signed, resting one hand on his hip before running his hand through his hair, anxiously drumming his fingers on his side, foot tapping on the well worn path he had been treading on the hardwood floor of the living room. 

Chucho chuckled, resting his hands on his knees and pushing himself up to stand with a low grunt, making his way over to his son, resting his hand on his shoulder as he looked up at him. “Eres como tu madre.. Impaciente. (You are just like your mother… Impatient). Mijo, I remember when I married your mother, she was so excited that she actually asked if we could start the wedding an hour early, just so we could see each other sooner. I can almost hear her laughing at the fact that her son is no better than her. How I wish she were here to see this. Soon, Javier. I promise.” 

“Do you think she’s gonna like the gift? You made sure she has it for today, right? And everything from her brothers too?” Javi asked, nervously biting at the tip of his thumb as he glanced down at his father before looking over at David and Charlie sitting on the couch, smiling back at him. 

“Yes, Javier. I triple checked last night. I’m sure that she will love it. I know she will love it. All of it. Now, why don’t you go put on your suit and we can leave a little ahead of schedule, I will just make sure to drive extra slow. Even slower than normal. I think if we wait any longer you may actually combust.” He teased, pulling Javi into a tight hug before releasing him, giving him a gentle pat on the back. 

“Alright boys, you heard the man, get your sorry asses moving and let’s get these monkey suits on, it’s time to get this boy married!” David cheered, holding up his beer to toast Javi before promptly chugging the rest of it down his throat and slamming it down on the table, soliciting another round of eye rolls and muffled laughter from the crowd. 

Silently nodding and smiling to himself, letting out one last reassuring breath before looking at the boys standing in front of him. 

“Fuck. I’m gonna get married.” 

Back at the ranch, the last of getting ready was beginning to wrap up, all the girls' hair and makeup finally finished, and the youngest of the crew giddily dancing in their flower girl dresses, twirling and swirling in excitement at their pristine outfits as they gathered around you, patiently awaiting for you to get into your own wedding dress.  

For as long as you’d wanted to get married, you’d always known that you wanted your wedding dress to be simple- No excessive frills, poof, glitter, or anything that made you feel like you were playing dress up for the world’s goofiest fashion show, simply because it was your wedding, and your dress needed to reflect the extravagance of the event. Your style choice came as a surprise to no one, given the fact you had practically lived in your brother’s hand-me-down’s until the 8th grade, and even when your mom had flown down a few months ago to go dress shopping with you and Connie, she had even laid down the hammer with one of the wedding dress consultants that you wouldn’t even step anywhere near a dress that was an ounce too over the top. 

That’s why you were absolutely shocked that despite your firm parameters around what you wanted to wear for your big day, that you fell in love with the very first dress you tried on, and never looked back. 

It was everything you wanted and never you needed in a dress- a simple a-line skirt with thin straps that ran across your shoulders and scooped down your back, along with a delicate, lacy floral pattern stitched across your top that flowed down the wispy length of your gown. There were few times that you had ever admitted it to yourself, but you had truly never felt more beautiful than when you were wearing that dress, and when you had tried it on for the first time, only to turn around to see the tears welling in your mom and Connie’s eyes as you revealed it to them, it was every confirmation that you needed that this dress was made for you. 

And while you had been counting down the days in excitement, waiting to put your dress on for your big day, Javi had been counting down along with you, to the point where Connie had made the executive decision to keep the dress at her house to prevent any preemptive peeking, considering that Javi had spent every day since you had bought your dress telling you how he couldn’t wait to see how beautiful you were going to look in it, without even knowing a single clue about what you had boughten, besides your lovingly sarcastic and vague “It’s a dress, and it’s white, Jav.” 

But after all the time you had spent imagining what it would be like to finally put your dress on for your actual wedding day, you almost couldn’t believe that you were finally here, carefully taking the straps off the hanger where it had been resting, holding the beautiful, white fabric out in front of you with a goofy grin spread across your face, eyeing down the outfit that meant you got to spend forever with your best friend. 

“You ready to put it on?” Connie asked softly, her hand resting on your shoulder as she stepped behind you, excitedly gazing at your dress right alongside you. 

“Yeah.” You smiled, gently nodding your head as you looked back at Connie, taking one last deep breath before passing off the dress to her before shimmying out of your clothes, letting them fall to a pile on the floor before turning to Connie, stepping into the opening of the dress and carefully pulling each strap over your shoulders while she pulled the zipper along your back, letting out a little sigh of relief as it clasped at the top. With one more long inhale, you slowly turned around to face everyone, eagerly awaiting your reveal, picking up your gown with a little floof as it gently draped around you, meeting the tears and smiles painted across everyone’s faces while they gazed at you. 

“Auntie Bear, you look like a princess! Uncle Javi is gonna think that you look like the most beautifulest person he’s ever seen.” Olivia squealed, jumping up and down in excitement before running over to you, wrapping her little arms around your waist in a tight hug. 

“Oh sweetheart…. You look absolutely stunning.” Your mom sniffled through her tears, holding her hands crossed over her chest, soaking in your full wedding ensemble. 

“You look gorgeous. Like, seriously. I hope you know that Javi’s gonna lose his mind when he sees you in this.” Connie giggled, giving you a wink and a playful nudge, looking you up and down in astonishment. 

Stepping over to see yourself in the mirror, your heart skipped a beat to see yourself, your stomach churning with anxious, excited butterflies knowing that you were only getting closer and closer to finally seeing Javi and his reaction, trying your best to not your smirk grow too wide between your warm cheeks, thinking about his reaction. 

“You really think he’s gonna like it?” You asked, your eyes still fixed at your reflection in the mirror, gently swaying your lacy, floral skirt back and forth, running your hand against the delicate fabric. 

“Honey, I’ve watched that man ogle over you in a hockey jersey. I told the boys they’re in charge of making sure he doesn’t faint when you walk down the aisle.” Your mom teased, Connie nodding her head in agreement. 

“I’m gonna second your mom on this one, girl. Steve has a running bet with the guys on how long it takes Javi to cry after he sees you. I think the over/under is 2 seconds, but after seeing you right now, I’m convinced he’s all waterworks from the moment he lays eyes on you.” 

Connie’s comment made you laugh to yourself, shaking your head at the idea of Javi instantly bursting into tears from just the sight of you, but when you thought about seeing Javi in his tux (that you had already seen before, multiple times) and what a mess you were going to be, maybe the boy’s betting line didn’t seem so unfair after all. 

“Speaking of tears…” Connie smirked at your mom, nodding at her to signify some little secret they seemed to be in on, “There’s one last thing you need to see before… Well, we’ll let you open it up and find out.” 

With that, your mom reached over to one of the tables where a white box with a neatly wrapped bow had been hidden, your mom passing it to Connie before then passing it over to you, making you tilt your head in confusion as you took the box in your hands, looking back and forth between your mom, Connie and the box waiting for some sort of explanation. 

“What is this?” you questioned, still puzzled as you noticed the gift tag hidden under the bow, gently peeling it open, their suspicious smirks beginning to spread as you read the all too familiar scratchy handwriting inside. 

To: Osita

Love: Javi

Now even more confused, you carefully began unwrapping the bow from around the packaging, letting the ribbon fall to the floor, followed by the lid of the box, revealing another longer note from Javi, resting on top of a bed of neatly folded tissue paper. You sat down in one of the chairs close by, letting the box rest on your lap as you held the note in your hands, already beginning to tremble as you felt the tears start to well in your eyes as you began to read. 

Osita, 

I knew from the moment I met you, that I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t believe that day is finally here. I hope that this day is everything that you could ever dream it to be. 

I hope you know that if I could I would give you everything. The moon, the sun, the stars- if you wanted it, I would give it to you. 

But I know that no matter how hard I try, there is one thing I know can’t give to you, and that’s the presence of the people who aren’t with us anymore. 

And while I can’t bring back your brother or my mom to be here today, I hope that what’s in this box will remind you that they’ll always be here for you, no matter what. 

I know my mom would have wanted you to have this. There’s not a day that goes by that I wish she could have met you. She would have loved you so much. I hope she knows that you’re the best thing that could have ever happened to me. 

Your family was able to find something of your brother’s for you to have on here too- I wish I could have met him. I hope he knows how much I love you, and the beautiful and resilient woman you’ve become. I hope he knows how proud I am of you. 

I can’t wait to see you, amor. I can’t even imagine how beautiful you look right now. I’m the luckiest man in the world. 

I love you more than words, and I promise I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life making sure you know it. 

Happy Wedding Day, Osita. Soy tuyo para siempre (I’m yours forever). 

-J 

You could feel your heart practically exploding after reading what Javi had wrote for you, wiping away the wetness from your cheeks, you took a deep breath as you carefully set down his note next to you before ever so slowly peeling back the layers of tissue paper folded on top of one another, hiding the gift hidden beneath them. As the last layer of the delicate paper was shed, you let out a gasp, you hand covering your mouth in shock as you put together the pieces of Javi’s note and the present now sitting in your lap, looking up at everyone else in the room, nodding back at you with sympathetic smiles and tears in their eyes at your realization. 

Not only had Javi had given you his mother’s wedding veil to wear, but stitched in the bottom corner was a patch of Patrick’s old hockey jerseys, a small number 2 from his arm sleeve, the number he had worn for every jersey he had ever played in. 

“Oh my… Oh my god? I can’t, I- how did you- oh my god.” You whispered to yourself, your voice trembling in disbelief, tears now streaming down your face as you held the veil in your hands, your thumb gently tracing over the worn patch of Patrick’s jersey, truly too stunned to speak at what Javi had done for you, to make sure a piece of two people who were no longer with you could still be a part of the biggest day of your life.

“Can I put it on?” Your mom asked, smiling at you with tears in her eyes, walking towards you as you nodded, handing her over the veil as she gently nestled it into your hair, straightening it out behind you, even more tears streaming down her face while she watched your reaction in the mirror. 

Not only was Lucia’s veil absolutely beautiful, if you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought Javi had asked someone to see what your dress looked like to pick out a veil that matched it perfectly. Like it truly was meant to be.

Still too shocked to form any sort of coherent thought, you stared at yourself in the mirror, silently smiling and crying at your reflection until a soft knock came from outside the bedroom door, making everyone in the room whip their heads around to see all of the boys who had just arrived peeking through the door frame, waiting in anticipation. 

“Can we come in? We’re dyin’ to see you, Cubby. Well, the one who’s dyin to see you the most we banished to the outside so he wasn’t even tempted to come in, but the rest of us fools still wanna see you too.” Your dad’s voice chuckled from behind the door, making you break from your crying just enough to let a soft laugh escape from your chest, nodding your head as you turned around to greet the gang gathered at the door. 

Growing up the youngest of 3 brothers, sentimental wasn’t a term thrown around in your household very often. Of course you loved your family, and they loved you, but you and your brothers had often joked that it’d probably be easier to projectile vomit than to actually say the words “I love you” eachother. So that’s why when your dad and brothers walked through the door with awestruck looks on their faces, you couldn’t help but start crying even more. 

Well, until they actually got a chance to speak. 

“Don’t cry you dingus, you’re gonna mess up all your makeup. And god knows how long it took to try and make you look like you didn’t just crawl out of a garbage can.” David quietly snickered, pulling you in for a much gentler than usual headlock before wrapping his arms around you for a legitimate hug. 

“Fuck off, David. How many people had to help you put that suit on, huh? You use every last brain cell trying to do up those buttons?” You teased back, trying to wipe the tears that had been rolling down your cheeks before giving him a loving slap to the stomach, making the two of you laugh even more. 

“You know his dumbass needed all the help he could get.” Charlie joked, pulling you in for another hug before stepping back to look you up and down, “Not too shabby. You clean up good, Cubby.” 

“Thanks Charlie.” 

The last one to step towards you was your dad, who you could tell was trying with everything in him not to absolutely burst into tears, putting one hand on your shoulder as he smiled at you. “I’ll say it once and I won’t say it again because you know as well as I do I’m not good with the sappy shit. You look beautiful, Cubby. I’m so proud of you. I know Patrick would have been too. Although that motherfucker is probably pissed at us that we cut the number off of his favorite jersey, but I think he’ll forgive us.” Wrapping you in a tight squeeze, your dad engulfed you in a bear hug, quickly followed by your brothers and your mom, trapping you in the center of their bodies, knowing you all were wishing there was one more person there in your group to fill in your hug. 

“I love you guys. Thank you.” You whispered, just loud enough to make sure they could hear, but quiet enough that even though your brothers had heard it, just this once, they wouldn’t give you shit for it. And just this once, everyone seemed to silently agree that they really, truly, did love you too. 

After a few more seconds of your group hug, there was another soft knock on the door, followed by another familiar voice, Chucho and Steve now peeking through the doorway to say hello. 

“Is it okay if we come in, Mija?” Chuco asked, already halfway through the door in excitement. 

“Yes, of course.” You sniffed, breaking free from the middle of your group hug to greet Chucho, less than shocked that his hug was almost tighter than the 4 other members of your family combined. 

“Mija… Mija, you look so beautiful. Oh, goodness. I had always saved this veil one day, just in case. And even though it sat in the attic for years, I pulled it out the week that Javier first met you. I don’t think that there was ever a doubt in anyone’s mind that you weren’t the one for him. My sweet Lucia would have been so happy to know that you have given Javier everything he never thought that he deserved. Oh, how I wish with everything she could have been here today to see how happy you make him. But I hope that you know, she would have been so excited that you get to be a part of our family.” He grinned through his tears, stepping back to look at you with a soft smile on his face, gently reaching up to wipe away the wetness on your cheek before pulling you back in for another hug. “I hope you know that Javier is going to be a wreck when he sees you. Poor boy has been in shambles all day waiting to see you.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the man this anxious. And that’s sayin’ somethin’.” Steve chimed in, laughing to himself. “You look great, sweetheart. Chucho’s right, Javi’s ‘bout to be a goddamn mess.” 

As if your heart couldn’t feel any fuller from all of the love and warmth overflowing into the room, you had almost forgotten about the one person that had brought you all together in the first place- Javi. 

You could feel the pace of your heart begin to race, your stomach swirling in anticipation as the reality of the situation slowly began to sink in. 

Your future husband was here, and there was nothing more in the world that you wanted than to see him. Not soon, not at the end of the aisle, not waiting for you at the altar, right this very second. 

“He’s here, right? Javi?” You asked, biting down on your lip to contain the stupid grin growing between your cheeks, swaying back and forth on your heels in childlike impatience. Before you could barely ask your question, all eyes in the room were on your, giving you a collective look that seemed to scream “Seriously? You can’t wait either?” without having to say a word. 

As you could hear the beginning rumblings of protest, David stepped in as the most unexpected voice of reason, holding his hands up to the crowd in your defense, trying to silence everyone’s potential disagreement for what you were about to suggest. 

“Listen… Y’all know as well as I do that we could hold back these two with iron restraints, and they’d still probably find a way to see each other before the ceremony. And to be quite honest, I am pretty convinced if we don’t let them, one of them is gonna fucking combust, and I am not willing to be held personally responsible for any damages done before you two idiots can even get married.” 

Giving you a silent nod of approval, David stepped back to pat your back with the loving force that only a brother could, as everyone else in the room seemed to very quickly agree with his sentiment, joining with head bobs of quiet agreement. 

“I’ll go let the big man know you’re comin’. Gotta find some way to redeem myself before I bust his balls in my speech later.” Steve snickered, giving you a quick wink before quickly disappearing out the door to find the man behind it, waiting half as patiently as you. 

To say that Javi was disappointed when the boys booted him to the outdoors while everyone else got to go in and see you was the understatement of the year. Even though he couldn’t have been sitting on the front porch of his childhood home for more than 10 minutes, it felt like he had been waiting for hours, counting down each second until the moment he finally got to lay his eyes on you. After about 2 minutes of sitting in his dad’s rocking chair, nervously swaying as his hands shifted between his fingers drumming on his legs and balling up in anxious fists, he pushed himself up to stand, walking off the steps of the porch to pace in the front yard under the warmth of the late June sun. 

He had been so preoccupied as he meandered the front of the home, picturing just how breathtaking you would look as you walked down the aisle to greet him- how gorgeous you would be in your dress, your hair, your stunning smile, everything about you that made him look at you and know that he was the luckiest man in the world. That you were his. That you were everything that made him feel like home. It wasn’t until after a few careless steps too far around the corner of the house, that Javi was catching himself from tumbling to the ground as he tripped over a larger than suspected rock underneath him, quietly cursing under his breath while he tried to steady himself, peering down at the ground to see what had almost caused his fall. And when he finally read the words etched into the round stone beneath him, he couldn’t help but laugh at the fact the thing resting below him was none other than the heading that read “Lucia’s Garden”. 

“Jesus Christ, Ma, you’re not even here and you’re gonna take me out before the wedding even happens.” Javi chuckled to himself, gently tapping his foot against the rock, staring at the worn and weathered letters of her name. “You know, the very first time Pops met her, he let her work on the garden. I couldn’t believe it, because he barely lets me within 10 feet of here without worrying I’m gonna ruin something. But uh, I think that he knew. I think before he even met her, he already knew that she was the one.” 

Letting out a soft sigh, Javi crouched down, squatting next to the stone, gently brushing his thumb across the grittiness, carefully tracing each letter back and forth, praying with every ounce of him that one way or another, she could hear what he had to say. 

“I really wish you could be here, Mom. I really miss you. I really wish she could have gotten to meet you. I know that you’d love her.” Javi paused, his eyes beginning to well with tears, letting out a long, shaky exhale to try and compose himself. “She’s so good to me. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve her. She’s made me a better man. A man that I’m proud of. A man I hope you’d be proud of, too.” He paused again, pinching the bridge of his nose before wiping his wet cheeks with the back of his hand. “I know that uh- I know before, um you were gone, that you really worried about me. I know you’d never say it, but um, I could tell. And I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Mom.” His voice was now barely above a whisper, years of guilt and anger bubbling in his chest for the person he’d been, the life his mother had lived to see him play out while halfway across the world, fighting for a cause he wasn’t even sure he believed in anymore. 

“But, I um- I just- fuck, I just want you to know that I’m okay. I’m more than okay, now. This is the happiest I’ve ever been, all because of her. We’re gonna build a house, we’re gonna have kids, we’re gonna be so happy, Mom. So fucking happy. Te amo mucho, Mama. Siempre lo hare (I love you so much, Mama. I always will).” 

So focused on the quiet conversation with the simple stone sitting beneath him, Javi hadn’t even heard Steve’s hurried footsteps creeping up behind him, making Javi practically jump out of his skin as Steve’s hand met his shoulder. 

“Hey, buddy. You ready to-” 

“Jesus, fuck Murph. You scared the fucking shit out of me.” Javi gasped, thoroughly startled as he shot to his feet, quickly trying to wipe the tears from his face as he faced his friend. 

“Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to, promise!” Steve laughed, holding his hands up in defense before letting his expression shift to concern at Javi’s face. “Hey, you okay, Jav?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m- No, I’m good, sorry. Just um- Just wish my mom could have been here for this, ya know? She would have really fucking loved her.” 

“Hey, it’s okay, man. My dad was gone before my wedding, too. Fuckin’ sucks.” Steve smiled sympathetically, “Truth be told Jav, that girl you’re gonna marry, I think it’s hard for anyone not to love her. Your mom would be really happy for ya.” 

“Thanks, Murph.” Javi huffed, a small smile spreading across his face at Steve’s genuine sympathy, a trait he didn’t see very often. 

“C’mere, buddy.” Without giving him a choice, Steve wrapped his arms around Javi, pulling him in for a hug with a few stiff pats on the back before pulling away with a nod, hands on his hips as he stared down his friend with a shit eating grin, knowing the news he was about to tell Javi would instantly turn his mood around. “Speakin’ of your future wife… You wanna see her?” 

“Wait, like, now? Like, actually?” Javi’s mood instantly shifted, his entire body lighting up at the prospect, looking at Steve with relief glistening in his dark brown eyes. 

“Yeah, actually. Thank God your wife is just as obsessed with you as you are with her. Jesus Christ, I think the both of ya would have fuckin’ exploded if we made you wait ‘till the ceremony.” Steve chuckled, grabbing Javi’s shoulder and giving it a playful shake. “Alright, you turn around so it’s a surprise when she gets out here, lemme go get her. And Jav?” Steve asked, turning his head back over his shoulder to look at his friend as he began to walk away back towards the house. 

“Yeah, Murph?” 

“You’re losin’ that bet. No way in fuckin’ hell you ain’t sobbin’ like a baby the second you lay eyes on her.” 

As Steve disappeared back into the house, Javi couldn’t help but quietly laugh to himself, because as much as he wanted to dish shit back to Steve, he knew his friend was right- He was about to be a fucking mess. 

“So? Are we good? Does he wanna see me?” You asked, anxiously waiting at the door, feet tapping on the floor hidden underneath your dress as you waited for Steve’s return. 

“No offense, Sweetheart, but that's just about the dumbest question I've ever heard. What do you think? Of course the bastard wants to see you. I’m just gonna warn ya though, that man is a hot mess, and I really think ya just may kill him the second he sees you.” The two of you laughed to yourselves, feeling your heart beat faster and faster in your chest with every passing second, using all of your self restraint to keep from bolting out the door past Steve to see Javi. “Alright, I won’t keep ya any longer, go get ‘em, killer.” 

Before you could get yourself out the door, you embraced Steve in a hug, catching him off guard for a moment before he hugged you back, smiles spread across both your faces. 

“Thanks, Steve.”

“Sweetheart, you ain’t got nothin’ to thank me for. If anything, hell, I should be thankin’ you. You two lovebirds are a match made in fuckin’ heaven. I was real worried about that old bastard for a long time. Glad to know I don’t have to worry about him anymore. Well, at least too much more. Now, enough about my sorry ass, go see your husband.” 

With a silent nod, you gave Steve one more quick hug before you were turning the knob to the front door, quietly stepping out to the front porch to see Javi’s back to you at the bottom of the stairs, already trying to fight the tears welling in your eyes without even seeing his face. As you closed the door behind you, Javi instantly perked up, turning his head back over his shoulder just enough to speak, but not enough to see that it was you who was walking to greet him. 

“She good to come out, Murph? I’m fucking dying out here.” Javi laughed, making you giggle at the fact that he had no idea it was you who was standing behind him. 

“Hate to break it to you, but unfortunately, I am not Steve. So sorry.” You snickered, practically feeling Javi’s eyes roll at your sarcastic comment, even though the both of you were thankful for a little humor to break the anxious anticipation that had been festering in your stomachs since this morning. 

“God, you’re such a dork.” He laughed, his back still turned to you as you took your final steps down the stairs with your dress in hand, trying to fluff it back out as you settled yourself behind him. 

“Hey, you’ve got me for the rest of your life, babe. Lucky you. I’m not gonna lie, don’t think I cleaned up half bad, ya know, if you wanna see.” You teased, giving Javi a playful poke on the back as you bit down on your bottom lip, so excited to see Javi’s reaction you truly thought your heart was going to explode out of your chest. 

“Baby, you have no fucking idea. C-can I, can I see you?” Javi stammered, his voice already beginning to tremble. 

“Well, I think I’m gonna implode if you don’t, so yeah.” You took one last long inhale in, holding your breath as Javi slowly began to turn to face you, feeling like everything was suddenly moving in slow motion when Javi’s eyes finally locked with yours. 

Javi couldn’t even get a word out before his hands were covering his mouth, his jaw dropping open in absolute awe to see you standing behind him. The tears he swore to himself he’d try to fight back were already streaming down his face, his eyes looking you up and down over and over again, trying to soak in every ounce of you, only crying harder as he noticed each and every new detail of you standing before him. 

“Osita… Oh my god. Oh my god.” Javi’s hand stayed glued over his mouth to try and keep his jaw from dropping any further than it already was, absolutely mesmerized by your beauty, barely able to get out any sort of coherent thought out of his brain. “Baby, you, oh my god, you look so beautiful. You look so fucking beautiful.”  

While you figured that Javi would cry and be excited to see you, nothing could have prepared you for the reaction that you were witnessing in real time, watching your future husband become a complete, blubbering mess at the sight of you, making it damn near impossible for you to hold it together yourself, considering the fact that you were also busy trying to take in the ridiculously handsome sight of Javi in his tuxedo- his broad body filling out every inch of the black fabric perfectly, hair and mustache impeccably groomed, and sweet, teary brown eyes sparkling in the sunlight, making you melt, tears rolling down your face as your heart bursted at the seams over and over again, wondering how in the world this wasn’t all some sort of a perfect dream. 

“You like it?” You managed to choke out through your happy sobs, your cheeks straining from the stupid grin that had spread across your face, the both of you radiating in the blissful glow of your excitement. 

“Like it? Osita, are you fucking kidding me? Do I like it? Holy shit, baby, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. You look... Osita, you look incredible.” Javi laughed through his tears, taking another step back to grab your hand, looking you up and down again before holding your arms up to twirl you in a circle, your dress flowing around you, making you giggle as you finally finished rotating to lock eyes with Javi again. “Hermosa, I knew you were gonna look amazing, but I- I never, I never could have imagined that you were gonna look like this.” 

“Coming from you? Jesus, Jav, I’m convinced you’re trying to kill me in that tux before we can even get married. You look so good. Javi?” You paused, grabbing his other hand so your fingers were intertwined, his thumb automatically tracing soft circles on your skin. 

“Yeah, baby?” Javi replied, biting down on his bottom lip as he gulped, trying to hold back the lump resting in his throat from his happy tears as he stared down at you. 

“Javi… We’re getting married. We’re getting fucking married.” 

“Fuck. We’re getting married. Holy shit.” As if the smile on Javi’s face couldn’t get any wider, his boyish grin gleamed between his cheeks, wrapping his arms around you to engulf you in a tight hug against his chest, the two of you laughing to yourself in disbelief that you had finally made it here- that only a few short moments, the two of you got to begin the rest of your forevers together. “Can I- Can I kiss you?” He asked in a soft whisper, pulling back to tilt his head towards yours, sliding one of his hands up to gently cup your cheek, shifting your gaze up towards him. 

“What kind of question is that, you dork?” You teased, bringing your mouth close enough to his to let your lips barely ghost over one anothers, butterflies swarming in a sea of excitement. 

“Because I’m afraid if I start kissing you, I’m not gonna be able to stop.” 

“Do your worst, Peña.” 

As if time began to move in slow motion, your mouths met with an electric and tender intensity, slowly becoming a mix of tangled tongues and teeth, your hand sneaking under the opening of Javi’s suit jacket to wrap around his waist as the grip around your face began to tighten, your bodies melting together as one in a nearly magical moment- Well, as magical as it could get before being interrupted by all your friends and family that had gathered on the front porch to share in the moment with you. 

“Hey! Lovebirds! Jesus Christ, save it for the ceremony!” Steve shouted, a chorus of laughter erupting behind him, startling you and Javi. 

“Good Lord, Steve, give it a rest. They missed each other!” Connie sighed, shaking her head at her husband’s loud interruption. 

“Yeah, that’s our sister, you pervert!” David chimed in, the familiarity of his taunting voice making you roll your eyes, putting your hands on your hips as you stared back at the crowd. 

“Will you can it, you dingus? It’s their wedding day for Christ’s sake!” Your dad groaned, slapping David in the back of the head. 

“Daddy, what’s a pervert?” Olivia asked, looking over at Charlie as Chucho held her against his hip, grimacing as he tried not to laugh at the exchange. 

“Seriously David, really? Grow up! They’re so adorable, let your sister have this.” Your mom scolded, promptly giving him another whack to the stomach, you and Javi now laughing to each other at the scene that was unfolding in front of you on the porch. 

“Well,” You giggled, giving Javi a playful nudge, “It seems like everyone else has been able to solve the ‘you not being able to stop kissing me’ problem.” 

“Jesus Christ…” Javi sighed to himself, running his hand over his face as he stared back into the crowd watching you and him, “Can we get a few more minutes to ourselves before the ceremony? Please? I haven’t seen her all day.” 

“C’mon, let’s give the two some privacy. Lindas (cuties), why don’t we go look to make sure all the flowers are ready. Maybe we can practice walking down the aisle again?” Cucho smiled at the two of you, giving Javi a subtle wink as the girls began to giggle with delight, racing off to the backyard in a fit of squeals of excitement. 

“We’ll do another check of everything, too, I wanna make sure everything’s in place before the ceremony. Do you mind helping, Connie? Boys, will you go check to make sure all the food and drinks are ready for cocktail hour” Your mom asked, picking up on Chucho’s hint to give the two of you some space, now trying to rope your dad, brothers and Steve into that equation as well. 

“Can I have a beer if I help?” 

“Jesus Christ, David.” 

Everyone's conversations began to trail as they headed their separate ways, leaving you and Javi standing in the front yard alone, once again,  looking at each other with mischievous grins- Yours from knowing damn well that Javi had something up his sleeve, and Javi’s from the something stored up there. 

“What’s that look for, Jav?” You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at Javi as you waited for him to let you in on whatever plan he had brewing in his brain. 

“I think… I think that I really have to go to the bathroom.” Javi replied, boyish grin glowing between his cheeks as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest. 

“And you’re really making it seem like going to the bathroom is a two person job.” You snickered, rolling your eyes at Javi, knowing exactly what he was implying. “Baby, the ceremony is gonna start in an hour, everyone’s here and I don’t think there’s gonna be enough-” 

Before you could finish your thought, Javi was swallowing the rest of your sentence in a long, deep kiss, only pulling away to quietly rasp in your ear. 

“Is that a challenge, Osita? I promise I’ll be fast, baby, you just look so fucking beautiful, and I don’t think I’m gonna make it if I can’t have my wife all to myself, even if it’s just for a few minutes. ” 

“God, you’re such a drama queen.” You sighed with a snicker, heat creeping in your core knowing that you had just as little self control as Javi did, peeking your head to make sure that everyone had dispersed before they watched you and Javi sneak inside together. “We have to be quick, okay? I just don’t want-AH! Javi!” You squealed as Javi was scooping you off your feet mid sentence, very fittingly carrying you bridal style across the front yard and up the steps of the porch, nudging the door open with his hip, the two of you all giggles and smiles as he whisked you through the house, stopping at his childhood bedroom, promptly setting you on the ground to shut the door behind him. 

With a click of the lock and a rattle of the door handle to make sure they were safe from intruders, Javi’s hands were all over you in an instant, his mouth crashing into yours as he walked you back towards the ensuite attached to his bedroom, hoisting you up onto the kitchen sink as he shut the bathroom door behind him for an extra layer of protection. 

You could tell how hard Javi was trying to keep himself in check, considering the amount of time and effort that had gone into your hair and makeup, and the delicacy of your dress, but it was taking every ounce of self control he had to not rip it right off you. Softly letting his kisses trail down your body, Javi began to sink to his knees, smirking up at you with his awestruck gaze as he carefully began to lift up the layers of your dress, running his hands up and down your bare thighs. 

“Do you know how fucking beautiful you are, Osita? Fuck, I can’t believe you’re gonna be my wife. My beautiful, amazing, perfect wife.” The hot breath of his words danced against your skin as Javi peppered soft kisses up the inside of your thighs, his head almost disappearing underneath your dress as he creeped closer and closer to your core, already soaked with your arousal waiting for Javi’s touch. “You’re mine forever, Hermosa. Fuck, I’m so lucky. I love you so much.” 

“I-I love you too, Javi.” You whined, your breath already shaky as Javi’s fingers hooked around the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down your legs and letting them drop to the floor below you before letting his fingers glide through your folds, already glistening with your arousal. 

“Fuck, you’re already so wet, baby. Can’t believe this perfect pussy is all mine forever too. God, you’re so fucking perfect. Everything about you. Mmmm, I know we don’t have a lot of time, but I have to taste you, Hermosa. Can I, baby?” Javi mewled, making you gasp as he gently slid two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down. 

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, Fu-ahhhhh.” You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javi’s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked a long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine. 

While Javi would have loved to take every second of his sweet time to savor in watching you fall apart on his tongue, he knew just as well as you that he was working on a limited schedule, and wanted, no, needed to make sure he could get you off at least once before his luck ran out. 

Javi began to work his tongue against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your heat, his free hand hooking around your thigh and draping it over his shoulder, digging his fingertips into the meat of your flesh, like he was trying to ground himself more than you. 

You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as, his lips now latching around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around Javi’s fingers with every movement of his mouth against you. 

“That’s it, mi amor.” Javi cooed, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. “I’ve got you, Osita. Forever. I’ve always got you. Promento (I promise).” 

Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen 

“Fuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, I’m so close, I’m so close, I’m so cl-ooohhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips. 

Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder, shuttering at the loss of Javi’s fingers inside you. He carefully pulled them out, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face. 

“Tastes so fucking sweet. My wife tastes so fucking sweet. Fuck, I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.” Javi chuckled with a boyish grin, gently cupping his hand under your chin as the other wrapped around your waist. 

“Get over what? Calling me your wife or eating me out?” You giggled, still trying to catch your breath as you came down from your high, biting down on your lip as your arms draped over Javi’s shoulders, your fingers tracing soft circles at the nape of his neck. 

“Both. Fuck, I love you so much.” 

“I love you so much too, you menace.” You smiled, tilting your head back to kiss Javi again, so blissfully lost in the moment, that the two of you both about jumped out of your skin when you heard a loud knock coming from the bedroom door. 

“Jav? You in here, buddy?” 

“Goddamnit, Murph…” 

The familiar twang of Steve’s voice made you freeze in fear, Javi quickly helping you down off the counter as he cursed to himself before the two of you were trying your best to fix yourselves up in the mirror to try and hide any signs of the horny whirlwind that had blown through the bathroom. 

“Javi?” Steve called out again, continuing to knock on the door. 

“Yeah, I’m here, just uh- Just give me a second, Murph.” Javi sighed, the two of you trying to keep from laughing at your current predicament, wondering how the hell Javi was going to talk you both out of this one. 

“What’s the plan, Peña?” You giggled, giving Javi a playful nudge as he carefully turned the knob to the bathroom door. 

“To tell Murph to fuck off if he tries to give me shit.” The two of you quietly snorted, feeling a little less guilty than you would have if it wasn’t your wedding day. “You stay here, okay? I’ll take care of him.” He smiled, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek as he opened the door. 

“God, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Osita.” 

Closing the bathroom door behind him, Javi took a few deep breaths as he ran his hands through his hair, turning the knob to open up his bedroom door to be greeted by an unamused Steve leaning in the door frame. 

“What’s up, Murph? We were just, uh-” Javi asked, trying his best to stay casual. 

“I fuckin’ knew it. Don’t ‘what’s up’ me, you horny bastard.” Steve groaned, rolling his eyes at his friend. “Y’all haven’t even made it to the ceremony yet! Jesus Fuckin’ Christ. Everyone’s been lookin’ for y’all. I had a fuckin’ feeling this is what you two were up two, and as your Best Man, I’ll cover for your ass now, but I sure as shit ain’t doin’ this all night for you two rabbits. Now c’mon, Casanova, go get your wife from in there and come outside. Remember that thing y’all gotta do where you actually go get married?” Steve teased, slapping Javi in the chest before shaking his head at his friend, his cheeks pink in embarrassment as his eyes darted to the floor. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll be out in a second.” Javi grumbled sheepishly, quietly accepting defeat. 

“An actual second, ya hear? Not a horny Javier Peña second, or I swear to God.” Steve groaned, raising an eyebrow at Javi. 

“Promise.” 

“Alright then. Chop, chop, Mr. Peña. Let’s go get your ass married.” Steve laughed, grabbing Javi by the shoulder before giving him a little shake and disappearing back down the hallway. 

Hearing Steve’s voice and footsteps fade, you slowly peeked your head out of the bathroom door to see Javi standing by himself, head buried in his hands, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning back to see your face, equally embarrassed as his. 

“... He knew, didn’t he?” You grimaced, now fully opening the door and walking through to meet Javi on the other side. 

“Yup.” Javi sighed, adding an extra emphasis to the “p” with a pop. 

“Well… Either Steve has the world’s most unlucky timing, or he just needs to do a better job of minding his business.” The two of you snickered, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared up at Javi. “Or maybe someone needs to stop being such a bad influence.” You teased, poking Javi in the chest. 

“Me? I’m the bad influence? Okay.” Javi chuckled, teasing you right back. “Sorry I’m getting married to the hottest woman alive and I can’t help myself. My gorgeous wife is one not making it any easier on me.” 

“Still not technically your wife yet, you dork.” 

“Close enough.” 

Grabbing you by your waist, Javi pulled you flush against chest, tilting his head in for a long, tender kiss- the kind that made heat creep through your cheeks and butterflies churn in your stomach, the kind that made your heart beat a million miles a minute, the kind that seemed to make everything else in the world stand still, even if just for a moment. The kind of kiss that made you know without a single doubt that you had never been more in love than you were at this very moment. 

“I love you, Javi.” 

“I love you too, Osita.” 

“You wanna go get married?” 

“Mrs. Peña,” Javi grinned, grabbing your hand to interlock it with his, “There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more in my fucking life.”

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @pedr0swh0r3 @chaotic-iguana

[hgfictionwriter]

Maybe This Time - Part Three

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie and you finally get some 1:1 time together (thanks Janine!). You work to build new memories together, but hurt from the past needs to be addressed.

Warnings: None. Temporary, very light angst, but mostly sweet fluff.

A/N: Part two and one. Part Four will likely be the finale.

"What do you think? Should I go for it?" 

Jessie smirked as she saw the screenshot you sent her of her jersey in the Thorns' site shopping cart. 

"I don't know. I thought you said that was too big a commitment." 

"I did. But I was rather impressed at the last game. And we went for drinks after, I finally got to meet Janine – so you know, points for that. And if I think about it, I'm like an OG fan. But if you think I should get a different jersey..." 

Jessie laughed under her breath, her smirk now a full blown smile as she read your message while she ate lunch. The conversation she'd been on the periphery of carried on as she ate another bite before typing out a reply. 

"Oh yeah? Post-game drinks were a hit, huh? And you know, my stats are only getting better with each game 😉 And let's be honest, I'd be pretty offended if you got someone else's jersey. Except Sinc's. Because, you know, GOAT." 

"Oh, well, say no more. You had me at 'stats' lol. Done. I'll pick it up before next game." 

"Lol I figured. My plan all along – I know how much you love stats." 

"You know me so well. I have to say, I'm kind of tempted to modify the jersey. Add some sort of patch or stitching, 'Yay sports!'" 

Jessie laughed out loud, less discrete than before.  

"Don't you dare lol. I've taught you better than that. But hey, if you ask nicely, I could actually sign it for you 😎" 

"I'm sure I have an old group paper kicking around with your signature on it. I need to be able to wash this thing lol. What else can you offer though?" 

Jessie swallowed her food hard, the bite getting caught temporarily in her throat with a wince. Okay, no signature – how humbling. However, there was an opening. 

She stared at her phone temporarily before a loud clearing of someone's throat caught her attention. She lifted her gaze with a curious frown on her face to see Janine staring expectantly at her. Jessie instinctively tilted the phone inwards towards her body. 

"I don't even have to spy to know who you're texting," the blonde said rather self-satisfied. Jessie looked around, heat building in her face already as she hoped Janine was the only one focused on her.  

"Yeah?" Jessie retorted, attempting to appear as unfazed as possible. "You should be pleased. You keep pushing me to text her." She cracked a smirk. "Now that you don't think she's the devil incarnate for 'stringing me along' in university." 

"Oh I don't think you need to be pushed," Janine teased with a wicked grin. "And I never said she was the devil incarnate." She lifted a hand to her chest in exaggeration. "I merely questioned things. But you're right," she relented, "she's quite lovely. And she gives you butterflies, and she makes you blush - more than usual - and you try to act all nonchalant and it's just too adorable for words." 

"Uh huh," Jessie muttered with a flat look. Janine leaned in excitedly. 

"And I have to say, I got the sense that she and I could riff off of each other and just tease the heck out of you, so that really sealed the deal for me." 

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, that's exactly what I need in my life." She'd never admit that it actually excited her that her best friend and you could get along so well. If – and it was a huge 'if' - anything evolved between you two, it was key that you got along with her friends and family.  

She started thinking about how well you got on with her parents and sister – you'd met before during your days at UCLA and they loved you. She also remembered how disappointed they'd seemed when she eventually told them that you two didn't speak anymore.  

"Well, since you're so invested," Jessie went on, rolling her eyes facetiously once more as she opened her phone again and turned it to Janine, "what should I say?" 

Janine squinted as she leaned in to read and it only took a moment for her expression to light up. Before Janine could say anything, Jessie snatched the phone back and placed it on her lap with a frown.  

"I don't want to hear it," she pre-empted the girl. 

"What?" Janine said innocently with a mischievous glint in her eye. "I am totally supportive of the flirtation between you two." She ignored Jessie's look of complaint and cut off her protest. "Her shutting down your autograph is pretty hilarious, by the way," she said with a marginally apologetic look. "Not smooth on your part – you know she's not impressed by your elite football skills. Don't lean on your Jessie the Footballer identity." 

"I wasn't," Jessie nearly hissed, trying to keep her voice down and avoid drawing attention. "I was joking. Half joking." 

"You were flirting, or at least attempting to. She left you an opening here though. So, you should ask her out." 

"I'm not asking her out," Jessie pouted, her shoulders rounding as she scooched closer to the table. She huffed upon seeing the scrutinizing look her friend gave her. "We're still getting to know each other again." 

"Fine. Don't define it as a date, then," Janine dismissed with a wave. She leaned in, folding her arms on the table. "Ask her to go for dinner." 

"Basic," Jessie remarked as she sat up and crossed her arms in disapproval. She frowned. "Plus that's too date-like." 

"Fine," Janine said curtly. "How about a hike?" 

Jessie hummed and hawed, unconvinced. "Maybe someday. Doesn't seem right at this point though." Janine rolled her eyes in exasperation.  

"Well, what did you two used to do back at UCLA?" 

Jessie shrugged. She saw the frustration Janine was telegraphing at how unhelpful she was being and jumped in. "We went to drop-in art classes sometimes." 

Janine held a hand up to the sky. "Thank you. Finally – something I can work with. Okay! Let's find a drop-in class for you two to go to then." She pulled out her phone and started browsing before shooting a look at Jessie as an aside. "Oh, and dinner's too date-llke, but an art class isn't? Okay." 

Jessie grunted and pulled out her phone as well to look.  

"Here," Jessie announced after a couple of minutes. "This'll work. She enjoyed painting." 

Without further consultation, Jessie began to type out a message to you. She bit back a laugh at how Janine's head was bobbing around periodically trying to peek at the message from across the table.  

"Don't send it yet! I want to see it," Janine pouted.  

"You are not writing my messages for me," Jessie told her pointedly, but gave a heavy sigh as she turned her phone for the blonde to see. An affronted look crossed Jessie face as Janine let out a guffaw and snatched the phone out of her hand.  

"No," Janine simply said with a wag of her finger before she started typing. Jessie reached out for the phone, but Janine turned her body away. Jessie clamored more, but stopped as soon as she noted some of their teammates glancing their way. She shrunk back into her seat, a hand rubbing the side of her face as she spoke in a harsh whisper.   "What are you doing." 

"Jeff. Relax. I would never lead you astray," Janine assured her. "And this is so very satisfying for me since I never got to help you with any of this during uni. Cause let me tell you, if I had been involved, you two definitely would've been living happily ever after." 

Jessie breathed in exasperation. "Please. Give me my phone back." 

"Okay, okay. Here," Janine said, all humour from her tone gone as she now offered Jessie a sincere smile. "Read it over, but I think this is good." 

Jessie gave her a lingering stare as she took back her phone and let out another withering sigh before reading.  

"Funny you should ask. I was thinking about how much I missed art classes together. How about I take you to one of the drop-in painting classes across town when I'm back from Houston?"  

Jessie lifted her gaze to meet Janine's and she studied the blonde for a few moments before relenting with an inaudible sigh. It was better than her original "I don't know. Paint class?" reply. She hit send and released another heavy breath as she tucked the phone away once more.  

"You're welcome," Janine said with a saccharine smile. Jessie gave her a fake smile in return, pulling a laugh out of the girl. "Hey, let's remember which one of us is engaged and which one of us is perpetually single." 

"Ouch," Jessie said with a light laugh.  

"I'm just teasing," Janine went on. "I genuinely hope this turns into something for you. Considering you've only come back into each other's lives, what, like a couple months ago? You two seem pretty solid already. And you seem happier." 

Jessie wanted to give a dry retort of some kind, but Janine was right. You two talked every day now and the chemistry you had in university was still very much present. And the depth you once had in your friendship was something that was quite easily and naturally being broached again. Even if you'd both grown and changed, the cores of who you were still aligned well and fit together. Too well. 

She'd more or less dismissed the spark of emotions that came up during your initial interactions as some sort of emotional muscle memory, but the feelings were proving to not be fleeting or diminishing.  

If anything, her feelings for you were growing. And this time they felt different, too. Heavier, deeper in some way. She was a more realized person now, as were you, and it made the connection between you more substantial. Less juvenile.  

Her phone buzzed. She opened her lock screen.  

"That sounds like a lot of fun! Let's do it." 

————

By the time your paint date night came around, Jessie was nearly buzzing with anticipation. It wasn’t an official date, of course, but she hadn’t seen you since that night after the game, and truthfully, it felt like it had been too long.

She was early - as usual - but as she rounded the corner to the building, she bit back a smile upon seeing you waiting. You were always early too, which she appreciated.

“Hey.” Jessie greeted as she approached. Again, she had to tamp her smile when you beamed back at her.

“Hey, good to see you,” you said as you stepped in for a hug, which Jessie reciprocated. “I love your shirt,” you continued when you stepped back.

“Oh,” Jessie said with a slight frown and a mild laugh as she looked down at herself in question. “Thanks,” she said as she gave a shrug and fought off a blush. She looked you up and down, not entirely discretely. “I like your outfit.”

You rolled your eyes affectionately and gave her a look. “You don’t need to reciprocate my compliment. But thank you.”

“I legitimately like your outfit,” Jessie retorted, her pitch rising and pulling a laugh out of you as you both walked towards the building. Jessie took a few quick steps and grabbed the door, holding it open. “After you.”

“Such service. Thank you,” you said, both teasing and appreciative. Jessie didn’t wink, but she did give a teasing lift of her eyebrows as you passed.

As the instructor gave their directions for the lesson, Jessie found herself distracted, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye. The whole lesson carried on like that, really. Jessie had to make a point to not fall behind as she’d uncharacteristically lose concentration. The worst, well, best, moments being when she'd lean over feigning critical assessment of your work when really she just wanted to be close.

By the end, she was decently satisfied with the forest landscape she’d painted. However, she felt it paled in comparison to the ocean sunset you’d crafted.

“I love your colours. And the little cabin you added is great,” you told her as you were both leaving, canvases in hand.

“Well good,” she said as she got to a clearing on the sidewalk and stopped to turn to you. “Consider it my gift to you,” she went on as she held it out to you.

“Jessie,” you said sweetly with a smile as you took it and looked it over more thoroughly. “That’s really sweet. Thank you. It’s beautiful. And bonus - I get my Jessie Fleming signature, but on a far rarer painting as opposed to a jersey,” you laughed. “And what a coincidence. I painted this for you.”

Jessie looked at you for a moment before a smile broke out across her face as she belatedly took the painting you held out.

“Thank you,” she said softly as she studied the image. She frowned in realization as she lifted her eyes to you. “Is this the same beach from our photo?”

You nodded. “It is. Nice eye.”

“Who knew you were so sentimental?” Jessie teased.

“Apparently not you,” you replied with a roll of your eyes, but gave a small laugh. “Come on. It’s been a while, but you know me better than that.”

Jessie was quiet for a moment as she took you in. She eventually nodded. “I know.”

A small lull fell over you both before you asked. “So, what now? Do you have to leave?”

“No.” Jessie spoke quickly with a shake of her head. “I don’t have anywhere to be. How about you?”

You shook your head in return. “Same. Well, it’s beautiful out tonight. Want to just go for a walk? We can drop these off at my car first,” you proposed as you held up the painting.

“Sure. Sounds great.”

After a short detour, you both began your stroll along the quiet, tree-lined street.

“Thanks for suggesting that class,” you said. “I don’t really get to paint or pursue creative hobbies as much anymore. It was nice to make a point of it. I can’t imagine you have much of an opportunity to focus on things like that anymore, hm?”

Jessie sighed quietly in contemplation and gave a shrug.

“Not extensively, no. But we do lots of team building, so sometimes we’ll do artsy things. And I can do hobbies and such in my down time, whether during the week or between seasons.”

She looked over to see you giving her a soft smile.

“What?” She asked.

“Nothing really. Just kind of crazy how everything turned out. You’ve achieved so much and your life is so impressive.”

Jessie was about to interject with a compliment for you, but you carried on.

“Are you happy with how things turned out?” You asked with a slight cock of your head.

“I-um, yeah.” Jessie stammered slightly, caught off guard by your question. “I mean, yeah it’s been incredible. More amazing than I could’ve ever pictured. And I know I’m very lucky.”

“You’re not lucky, Jess. You’ve worked exceptionally hard.”

She huffed lightly. “Yes, but luck is involved too. Lots of people work hard and still don’t get half the opportunities I’ve had.”

“I suppose,” you relented. “But you’ve made the most of those opportunities and haven’t taken them for granted.”

“That’s true. But look at you. You’ve worked so hard. And I know what you’ve been up against, but you’ve risen above and built a great life for yourself,” Jessie emphasized.

“Thank you,” you accepted with a half smile. Jessie knew the ins and outs of your family dynamics - something few people truly knew. You smiled more fully at her. “And look at us now. We both left LA and then found ourselves in the same city again and got to reconnect,” you finished with a laugh. "It sounds strange, but it really feels like in some ways like no time has passed. Not really, anyway. Like you and I were able to pick up where we left off."

You let out a quick sigh, giving a deep shrug as you did so. Your eyes remained trained on the ground as you two walked. "I mean, we talked the other week about my family and it just felt so different. Like, I've told recent friends or girlfriends my history and everything, and they listen and they 'get it', but it's not the same. That conversation with you – via text, no less – had more depth and weight than any comparable conversation with my exes or current friends. You were there. You know it – and me, I guess - inside and out. And even if I retell things, it's just not the same." 

Jessie nodded, watching you. It did feel like yesterday when she was sitting next to you on your bed, sobs wracking your body after one confrontation too many with your family. Normally, Jessie was so analytical and tentative about her physical contact with you, but the second you started crying she put her arms around you without hesitation and you leaned in, resting your head on your shoulder as she held you. That was the first time, but it wasn't the last.  

Looking back on it, maybe your girlfriends did have good reason to dislike her. 

"I know what you mean," she told you. "It's different. I mean, it's the same with you in a lot of ways. You were there for me during some critical points – big decisions in my life and you understood who I was and who I wanted to be." 

You smiled at her fondly. You looked ready to say something and Jessie waited. A moment passed and you exhaled, saying, "It really meant a lot – having you in my life and the support you gave me back then. I hope you know that." 

"I know," Jessie accepted with a smile of her own. "And likewise." 

Her mind drifted. She should probably just leave things be, but not speaking her mind is what held her back all those years before. She needed to share her thoughts and feelings if things were going to be different this time. She took a breath.  

"You know, I was really shocked when we saw each other here." She paused briefly. "I don't know. We hadn't talked in so long. I think I'd relegated myself to assuming we'd never see each other or ever talk again. Despite how important we were to one another at some point." 

Her statement seemed to give you pause, the mild surprise evident on your face. You eventually glanced down at the street as you two continued to walk. 

"Yeah. That's true, I guess," you conceded, your voice soft. 

Jessie studied you, unsatisfied with the response you gave. She pushed.  

"I knew we wouldn't be able to stay as close as we were. That was inevitable with us living so far away from one another, but I don't think I expected contact to fall apart as quickly as it did." You didn't reply right away and she went on with an ironic laugh. "We went from talking all day every day, to a few times a week with a video call scattered in there, to the odd message every couple of weeks, then just texts on birthdays and at Christmas, to nothing at all." 

She wasn't sure what she was anticipating, but she didn't expect you to turn to her with a perplexed frown.  

"Yeah. It did taper off pretty quickly."  

Despite the time that'd passed, Jessie still knew when you were telling half-truths. She gave a bit of an empty chuckle. "What else are you thinking?" 

You returned her laugh with a mild look. "I don’t know. I'm just kind of confused, I suppose." Jessie frowned.  

"About what?" She questioned. Faint alarm bells went off in her head when you stopped walking. She stilled her movements as well and you turned to one another on the sidewalk.  

You took a moment to gather your thoughts. You spoke with a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. 

"I know it was me who stopped replying right away to messages – I don't deny that – but you weren't exactly giving me a lot to work with." You took a breath, dropping your shoulders before you spoke further. "Honestly? It was kind of feeling one-sided. Yeah, you replied, but a lot of your replies were brief and noncommittal. And when I asked if everything was okay you just told me you were busy. Which," you let out a slightly rueful laugh, "is absolutely fair. You were building this brand new, big life. Which is exactly what you were supposed to do. I don't begrudge you at all. I don’t know." You shrugged and averted your gaze momentarily. "I guess things just started to feel off." 

Jessie exhaled quietly as she processed your reply. What you were saying wasn't false. It had been so long it was easy for Jessie to just recall the end result – that you'd stopped replying altogether. That you'd given up on her; on the connection you'd both built for years. 

Standing here now though, if she was honest with herself, it was true that Jessie grew distant in her messages - purposefully so - knowing it would drive you away. What was she supposed to do? You two were never going to be together. And being friends was so incredibly hard sometimes because it was never just friendship for her. There was always this bittersweet feeling to everything and now that you were on completely different paths, there was an inevitable conclusion. Yet, she struggled to cut herself off cold. So instead, she took the coward's way out.  

Jessie scratched the back of her head. "I was busy," she repeated. She contemplated doubling down, but thought better of it. "And I guess I was finding it hard. We were building two very different lives." 

There was so much more she wanted to say, but she couldn't. What would be the point? Her chest panged when you gave her a sad smile.  

"I know," you accepted with a sadness in your eyes. "And I really wanted that for you. I just - it was hard to not feel like a nuisance. Like some obligation. So I just stopped writing."

Jessie's frown deepened. She knew all those years ago that she had to be hurting you, but she could lie to herself about it and focus selfishly on herself. Seeing you talk about it in front of her wasn't something she'd anticipated.

"I didn't mean for that," Jessie said. "And I never stopped caring about you," she compromised. 

"Yeah. I never stopped caring about you, either," you reciprocated in a subdued manner. Despite her role in everything, Jessie was still harbouring hurt from all those years prior and she felt compelled to push on. Sure, she'd pushed you away, but you'd let her. She erased you from her life little by little, day by day and you allowed it.

"Funny how quickly things change sometimes," Jessie went on. She didn't mean to scoff, but she did. "You didn't even tell me when you and [y/ex] broke up. You didn't even tell me you were having problems."  

In years past, Jessie was your sounding board for all your girl troubles. She remembered it well – it was painful. Having to hear you either swoon or – more often – complain about your girlfriends. Hearing how they disappointed or frustrated you when Jessie knew she could love you better. Just thinking back to it stoked a fire in Jessie's chest again. While she had genuinely loved you and cared about your well-being, she'd vowed to never get stuck in that dynamic again.  

You cracked a smirk. "It just seemed frivolous to bother you with something like that at that point." 

Another pang in Jessie's chest. "Well," she kicked idly at the concrete beneath her, "I would've been there for you if you ever needed me. I hope you knew that." 

You sighed and gave a hollow laugh as you pushed your hair back, causing Jessie to get momentarily distracted by the way the rays from the street light hit your face.  

"I know," you said quietly before meeting her gaze. "And I hope you knew the same about me. I know you're surrounded by people who love you, but," you shrugged listlessly, "I'd be there for you, too." 

Before Jessie could respond you gave her another smirk. 

"Besides. Though you never said anything explicit, I know you didn't like her. And by the end I could see why, too. No point wasting any of our limited conversation talking about her." 

Jessie bit back a smirk, but knew her eyes betrayed her. "Well, I guess that's poetic. Your girlfriends never liked me and I never liked them." 

Despite the mounting tension in your conversation, you laughed and gave her a nod. Jessie didn't return your laugh though. She gave you a solemn look. 

"You always deserved better than them. I know some of them were just fine, some of them even good, but they didn't seem earnest enough and they didn't love you enough." 

You were taken aback by her sudden proclamation. You opened your mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words.  

Jessie never understood how they didn't worship the ground you walked on. She practically did, even if she didn't show it. While those girls showed they cared through superficial acts like a generic bouquet of flowers, Jessie listened. In many ways. It was obvious to Jessie that they didn't really get you – not the way she did. And if they were so in tune with you, then why was it her you came to when things were hard or you were scared or even hopeful. If she'd been your girlfriend, she would've given you everything you needed and more. They clearly didn't. 

You eventually gave a soft huff and offered Jessie a quiet smile. 

"You've always been very observant. And very thoughtful. I get it now. There's a reason I'm single now. I don't want to settle anymore," you told her. 

Jessie was quiet before giving a nod of acceptance.  

"I'm glad to hear that." 

You both started walking again, though neither of you spoke right away. There was still a heaviness in the air, but it felt different now; hopeful.  

"I'm sorry for how things ended," you said as she glanced over at Jessie as you two strolled through the quiet street. "You've always been really important to me – regardless of whether we were in contact or not. I don't want to say that I wish things had been different, because I really don't see the point in regretting anything, but I will say I'm very grateful that we've had this chance to reconnect and rebuild." You paused. "I've really missed you. I didn't realize how much." 

"I'm really sorry, too," Jessie said, a smile spreading across her face. "And I agree – we can't change the past, but I also appreciate the chance to be friends again. I've missed you, too." 

She swallowed as she contemplated whether to add more. The lull that naturally formed told her to forge ahead.

"And you were never a nuisance or an obligation. I'm really sorry it came across that way."

"Awww, Jessie," you said in a teasing voice, lifting your conversation up again. You paused your steps and Jessie stopped and turned to you in question. "Come on," you beckoned as you waved her over and brought out your phone. "We need a new photo together." 

Jessie didn't fight it. Instead, she smiled at you and walked over to stand next to you. You leaned into her and Jessie found her hand naturally gravitated to your waist. It rest there before Jessie could even realize it, but before she could fret, you looked back at her with a smile before facing forward again. 

You took the photo and immediately opened up your messages with Jessie to send it to her. Jessie belatedly realized her hand was still on you and she pulled it back, holding her hands behind her. 

"There," you announced. "Now we can start rebuilding our collection. Portland memories – not just UCLA anymore." 

Jessie laughed and held up her phone, pointing the camera at you. 

"No, come on," you whined immediately and she laughed further.  

"Hey, this is part of the deal," she countered. You huffed, but eventually smiled for her. "Just remember. This goes both ways. I get new photos of you, too." 

She found herself giving you a wink. "I'll allow it."  

[joonberriess]

⊹₊ ⋆ “take you like a drug, i taste you on my tongue,”

TAGS — unprotected sex, older!jk, praise kink, unplanned pregnancy, reader’s a little shy, dubious the first time, slight daddy kink, possessive!jk, slight degradation, creampie

WORD COUNT — 2.4 k

"y/n what–how? Do you know who the dad is?" Your friend asks in disbelief with a mix of shock and sympathy.

You bite your lower lip and stare back at her, it wasn't easy to just go and say "Oh yeah did I mention the baby daddy is your father? We may or may not have hooked up MANY times." You couldn't possibly ever tell her, this was something you'd take to the grave.

"I do.." You softly begin, fiddling with the hem of your skirt with obvious nervousness, "It just happened okay? I wasn't being careful with my birth control and I was late but by then. I think when I realized, I was already pregnant."

She lets out a deep sigh, oh no, your heart begins to race as you stare at her in desperation. You want her to say something, anything at this point. The thought of disappointing her like your parents doesn't sit right in your stomach.

"I'm not going to judge you." She finally says, "I'm here for you, whatever the hell happened with the guy isn't going to stop me from supporting you." She cracks a tiny smile and reaches for your hand, "I always wanted to be a auntie."

You smile back in relief, "Thank you." You softly say and snuggle close, "You're the best."

"Hey, that doesn't mean you're off the hook. Who is this guy anyways?" She grins, "You didn't tell me anything about no boy," she wags her finger in your face which causes you to giggle, "I didn't know you were getting busy like that." She winks.

You grow hot in embarrassment and hide your face, "It's a long story..."

+

You don't know when or how your small puppy crush on Jungkook started. When your friend mentioned why she didn't like inviting her friends over for dinner, you were a bit taken back by her words.

"I'm serious y/n," she said, "I don't like bringing anyone cause of my dad, they always act so fucking weird about it too. But I know you're not like that."

Those words sting a bit. You aren't so sure what she means exactly but you decide to let it go and just find out for yourself why she has so much faith in you going over. Then it hits you. Her dad is literally sex on legs. You grow embarrassed at your reluctance to make eye contact with the older man.

From there on you get more familiar with the man. He asks you about your day and actually looks interested in holding a conversation about your hobbies and interests. You've never had someone who was so invested in you like he was.

You wonder why he was so interested. You were a simple person, always so shy and bashful with others. Maybe that's why your friend protected you the way she did.. Cause in everyone else's eyes you were a baby. A sweet, sweet pretty baby. Too sweet for your own good.

You were somewhat of a prude, always covering up and never showing off "the goods god gave you" as your friend put it. What could Jungkook possibly ever see in you? You ask yourself that a lot.

The dealbreaker happens when your friend insists on you going to the club with her. She dresses you in a simple yet sexy bodycon dress that fits like a glove. It ends right above your knees, mid-thigh (which is something you have never worn because to you it was scandalous), and a pair of black heels.

"Dad we're heading out now!" She yells, hurrying down the steps with her own heels in hand, "Be back in a few hours!"

You timidly follow her, a hand on your chest as you take slow steps constantly tugging the hem of the dress down because you think you're too exposed. She even put makeup on you! Not that you don't wear it already, you just tend to go for simple looks.. not this fiery red lipstick (you admit you look amazing though).

"Careful, be sure to keep an eye out for each other and don't go with strangers." Jungkook turns around the corner of the hall and stands at the front door.

Your friend says something back but all you can really focus on is the way Jungkook's eyes slowly drift to you. They widen slightly in shock but he recovers quickly, gaze drifting over your whole body from head to toe.

"Dad are you even listening?" Your friend huffs in annoyance as she bumps her shoulder with him.

Jungkook forces himself to look away, "Yeah.. uh have fun okay? Be safe the two of you." He nods and lets you both pass. "y/n," he stops you right when you're stepping out from beside him, "you look beautiful." He smiles and lets you go with a nod.

The entire time you're at the club all you can really think about is the way Jungkook looked at you with hunger and lust in his eyes. He was basically eyeing you like a piece of meat the entire time. You even forgot you were in the club for a moment, letting your friend bring you to the bar for drinks and to the dancefloor. 

It's about three in the morning when you and your friend head back to her place. She's drunkly stumbling around and giggling as she tries to be quiet. "Shhh... don't want my old man waking up." She giggles, not exactly being quiet either.

You're only tipsy, swaying occasionally as you balance yourself against the porch. "Mmm I'm so tired." You mumble out and step out of the heels. 

"I got it!" She squeals in excitement and opens the door, "I'm homeeee...!" So much for being discreet..

You stumble in after her and watch as she drunkly makes her way to her bedroom, "See you there..." She slurs out and disappears upstairs. 

"See you.." You softly reply and head into the kitchen for a glass of water. The house is eerily quiet, you make quick work of filling a glass up with water. You hum softly and tentatively take sips from the glass, enjoying how the cool liquid feels going down your throat. 

"Had fun?" Jungkook suddenly speaks, interrupting the silence in the room.

You jump a little and turn around to look at him, gulping the water in your mouth as you wipe your lips. "Y-Yeah." You say softly, averting your gaze because your drunk fueled mind plays images of earlier when he was checking you out. He looks so handsome in a white tee and low hanging sweats with a very obvious bulge in his pants. 

He chuckles quietly, toying with his lip ring as he nods, "Looks like it," he pushes himself off the doorway and steps into the kitchen, nearly crowding you against the counter as he opens the fridge and pops a beer open, "bet you had all the boys after you." He's looking at you with those dark eyes again. 

"Sorry..?" You refuse to believe he just said those words to you. This type of conversation was headed in a very much inappropriate direction. "I don't understand what you mean." 

"What I said," he calmly sets the beer down and leans against the counter, trapping you against it as he stares down at you, "I refuse to believe no one wanted a pretty thing like you in their bed tonight." He lowly says, reaching up to play with a curl that was over your shoulder. 

You look down at his hand and then look back up at him, "Mr Jeon," you start but he interrupts you with a low 'Jungkook' as his fingers toy with the strap of your dress, slipping it down your arm slowly. "J-Jungkook.." You whisper and take a step back. 

Jungkook crowds you against the sink and sets both hands on either side of you, licking his lips as he stares down at you and releases a quiet chuckle, "Such a pretty girl," he murmurs, "almost didn't wanna let you leave the house looking like that. All dolled up... you could make a grown man cry sweetheart." He smirks.

You're unsure on what to say, you stare up at him shyly and soak in his praises and pet names. "Hani's sleeping upstairs.." You whisper and turn your head to the side, trying to move past him, "She could wake up any minute."

"She's a heavy sleeper." Jungkook replies simply before hell breaks loose.

He grabs you by your face and gently holds it as he presses his lips to yours. You make a noise of surprise and reach up to hold on to his arm. You lack the experience he has as he kisses you like no tomorrow. His lips move over yours smoothly, he rubs his thumb alongside your face as he presses you into the counter with his hips. 

Jungkook's other hand slides up your side, rubbing it idly before he creeps his hand downwards and grabs on to your thigh. You whimper softly into the kiss and raise your leg, you hook your thigh around his waist as you timidly reach up to grip the back of his neck with both hands.

"That's it sweetheart, doin' so well for me." He whispers amidst the kisses and quiet little moans you let out here and there. "Be a good girl and stay quiet for me yeah..?" He softly murmurs and taps your other thigh, signaling that he wants you to jump, "Gonna treat you real nice sweetheart." 

And with that your relationship with your bestfriend's dad begins.

+

Hani knows your relationship with your parents isn't the best, they practically ignore you and only provide the necessary: a roof over your head, clothes and food. You lack that parental affection and unconditional love. It results in your obvious desire for attention and validation. 

So she invites you to move in with her and Jungkook. She says something about the guest bedroom never being used and that Jungkook wouldn't mind having you stay over because in her words he "sees you as his daughter". You're guilt ridden because if only she knew. 

Moving in with them opens a whole new door to your relationship with Jungkook. You always fuck when Hani leaves for her shift or for a late tutoring session she has. He couldn't keep his hands off you nor his pants on. You were surprised that Hani hasn't walked in at this rate, you doubt she'd be very happy to see her father fucking her friend.

Today was no different,  as soon as Hani had left the house for a shift she was covering Jungkook was on you. You laid flat on your back in the living room, leg thrown over his shoulder with your panties dangling around your ankle. Soft moans and meek whimpers escaped your lips as his cock rubbed up against every nook and cranny inside of your pussy. You felt stuffed, your pussy lewdly squelched with each thrust as his cock slid in and out. 

Jungkook was hunched over you, quiet grunts and growls leaving him. "Fuck sweetheart, you're so fucking wet for me. Gonna make a mess on my cock baby? You gonna be a good girl and cream for me?" He whispers harshly against your lips as he rocks up into you roughly. 

You're jolted a little from his thrust, lips parting as lewd little "uh's" escaped your lips. You weakly nod and dig your perfectly manicured nails into his back, toes curling from the hot pleasure you're feeling. "J-Jungkook.." You weakly stammer out, your breath hitches when his cock hits something inside of you. "Mmph," you lean your head back, "r-right there." 

Jungkook licks his lips and starts thrusting into that particular spot, "Yeah?" He breathes out as he rolls his hips faster and faster, "Such a dirty girl.. baby likes getting fucked by older men doesn't she? Basically a slut for it, letting your bestfriend's dad fuck you like this," he cruelly whispers against your lips, "you gonna let me cum in your pussy baby?" He purrs. 

A loud moan escapes your lips as you buck your hips, "Y-Yes!" You whimper, "I'm your dirty girl," you mewl, "only yours... d-daddy." You hesitantly say.

Jungkook growls softly and sucks a dark hickey under your jaw, "That's right, only mine baby." He pins you down and begins jackhammering into your cunt. 

You loudly cry out and bring your hand down to grip his back, loud pleas for more and his name leave your lips. Jungkook's groans rise in volume as he works his hips back and forth, cock sliding in and out of your pussy. His free hand comes down to rub circles into your clit with his thumb, occasionally he flicks the bud side to side. He perfectly aims his hips to bury his cock up against your g-spot. 

The two pleasures all at once has you shaking and crying out. Your pussy leaks sloppily all over his cock and the mess begins sliding down your ass crack and on to the couch. His balls slap loudly against your ass with each deep press of his hips. Your skin slaps together and the crouch begins creaking in protest from the weight being added. 

"Jungkook!" You wail in pleasure and dig your nails into his back, "I'm gonna c-cum..!" You whimper and shut your eyes tightly. 

Jungkook goes faster at this, determined to get you to cum on his cock. "Go on baby, been such a good girl for me. Cum for Daddy." He purrs softly. 

With that you unravel under him. Your thighs weakly shake and little choked sobs escape your lips. Your cunt tightens around him and pulses weakly as spurts of your slick covers his cock. Jungkook slows down and grinds deeply into your pussy, he helps you ride out your orgasm. It only takes a few more minutes for his moans to stutter and his cock to throb. 

His cum leaks from the side's of his cock, you feel it add to the creamy mess down below. You untangle your arms and lie there bonelessly, panting softly. Jungkook rumbles in satisfaction, he licks his lips and slowly pulls out watching as his cum trickles out. "Fuck you look so good baby."

You smile shyly and bite your lip as you stare up at him, "I think we need a shower." You say innocently enough but Jungkook knows what you mean. 

He grins softly, "We do don't we?"

Neither of you mention the stain on the couch, and if anyone mentions it, you spilled your ramen broth. 

small spoiler: the upcoming fic “summer tights” is a direct sequel to namjoon’s “sugar” fic hehe..

[muertawrites]

Eddie Munson and Sex [18+]

Warnings: explicit descriptions of s*x (minors this isn’t for you don’t fucking touch it i swear to GOD), perv!eddie my beloved, tiny bit of a daddy kink (i refuse to apologize) 

Word Count: 1k

Author’s Note: i have no idea what this is. it was going to be a fic i think but then it derailed into a headcanon-y drabble. it has not been edited. i’ve been so fatigued for the past two days that getting anything written has been difficult (thanks depression). once i come up with a plot / scenario i hope to have a very tasty smut fic written soon. i just have to puke all my other ideas up first i have so many. if any of y’all have some smut ideas drop them in my inbox please i would v much appreciate them <3

Eddie Munson was a dirty pervert. He frequented the local adult video store, from which he'd amassed an expansive collection of erotica. He masturbated at least twice a day. He had handcuffs nailed to his wall for exactly the reason you'd think, and a nasty little habit of stealing your underwear, often keeping it in his back pocket as he went about his day. He had explicit photos of you on his wall, pinned to the dashboard in his van, tucked in the front of his wallet.

And he was the sweetest, most tender lover on the face of the earth.

You both knew what it was like to be consumed by loneliness. Neither of you quite felt like you fit anywhere, and your romantic histories were both utterly tragic. It was your loneliness that brought you together - a friendship based on instant understanding that blossomed into a love so deep and consuming it terrified you at first. But Eddie, despite all his cynicism and hurt, gave you his affection readily and without the slightest hesitation. He showed you just how much you deserved to be loved, and you offered up all of yours in return.

Of course, knowing just how invested his sexual interests were, you assumed he was experienced. You knew he'd never really had any lasting relationships before he met you, but you found it difficult to believe a man like him could go more than a month without seeking release from another person. You assumed his body count was high, a gallery of women used for convenience and to distract from just how impossibly alone he felt. He was a man, after all - and men are really only after one thing.

That was until you had him naked, splayed out on your bed with your chest between his thighs, your mouth wrapped in a vice around his cock. He didn't last even a minute.

"I've never... no one's... ever given me a blow job before," Eddie admitted after you'd finished.

"... What?"

"I know, it's pathetic-"

"No, no."

You laughed, sitting up and kneeling beside him so you could look him in the eye.

"I thought..." You chuckled again at your own ignorance. "I thought I was like... your hundredth partner or something. Like you were fucking women left and right before we got together."

Then it was Eddie's turn to laugh.

"What? Do I really seem like that kind of guy to you?"

You shrugged, slightly embarrassed.

"I don't know... You're just really into sex," you explained. "And you're in a band. Casual hookups kinda made sense to me."

Eddie shook his head, his lips curling into a soft smile as he reached out to stroke your hair.

"Nah... not me. I, uh... I can never really get it up unless I like someone, y'know? I mean I'm horny as fuck but I never felt... I never felt okay giving it to someone who didn't give a shit about me. You're only the second person I've been in bed with. And the first I kind of regret, honestly. She was nowhere near as good to me as you."

You smiled, endeared by how endlessly sweet he was. You leaned forward, snaring his lips in a deep, intentioned kiss that he quickly got lost in, his hands raising to lay at your jaw.

"How about another blow job?" you offered as you parted, biting your smiling lip with anticipation.

He nodded vigorously, and the rest of the evening was spent working his cock in and out of your mouth, teaching him how to keep his cool and make the pleasure last.

No matter what his sexual appetite, Eddie loved nothing more than making you cum; and although he wasn’t as experienced as you thought, years of reading porno mags and watching smut films taught him plenty. 

He could work magic with his mouth. The moment he got you alone in his bedroom, he pinned you to his mattress, spreading your legs wide and latching his lips to your clit, licking and sucking at you with expert precision. He could spend hours with your legs slung over his shoulders, gripping and kissing at your thighs, shoving you over the edge of an orgasm without giving you a chance to recover, savoring the way you squirmed and whined from overstimulation. 

“Just one more, sugar,” he would coax you. “Let daddy make his favorite girl cum just one more time...” 

And of course you would. When he spoke to you like that, your mind went numb, fucked out and sex drunk and entirely consumed by his adoration of you.

His favorite way to make you cum was (surprisingly) in missionary. He would fuck you slowly, holding your little bullet vibrator on your clit, diving in at an excruciating pace until you came, hard, flexing around his cock and bringing him all the closer to his own release. He loved watching your face contort with pleasure, pressing tender kisses to your jaw so he could listen to you moan in his ear. It was pretty vanilla, but the way he worked you, it felt like the dirtiest, most delicious thing he could do to you. 

Eddie often used his erotica as a reference, which made everything about your sex life interesting. From toys to positions and even health advice, he was constantly bringing articles and photos from his favorite magazines to your attention, sometimes even reading them out loud as a form of foreplay. He wasn’t the biggest fan of watching porn while he fucked you, however - he preferred to set up shop in front of a mirror, getting off on watching himself slide in and out, the way your body moved with his, from a different angle. 

He wouldn’t admit it, but his favorite part of having sex with you was laying beside you after fucking you into a stupor. He’d light a cigarette or roll up a joint and hold you in the sweetest silence, sometimes with your head on his chest, sometimes with his head on yours, but always with the lightest of kisses feathered across your skin, every inch of your body worshipped by him. He loved kissing down your back, over your collar bones, up the inside of your wrists. 

Eddie Munson loved you with all his soul, and his body was how he showed it.

🌹💀 get your eddie fix 💀🌹

[c-nstantine]

hey I was wondering if I could request a Wally x batsis!reader x Roy where the two are fighting over batsis and the batboys are taking sides and getting a little too invested in her love life, thanks luv!!❤️

Warnings: references to sex, cursing,

word count: 0.6k

Y/N Wayne was the crush of hundreds of thousands of people and it was obvious why. Her gorgeous brown skin managed to shimmer under the Gotham clouds, her smile that could replace the sun, and she had a heart that was pure. Her track record was not as clear. Having dated a few professional basketball players, a few cheerleaders, and even a few actors, no one really stuck around. Not like Wally and Roy, at least.

Wally had a crush on Y/N from the first time that Dick invited him over. Of course, Y/N was a year or two older than him but that did not stop him from flirting with her. Dick always hit him in the back of the head after he did but Wally thought it was well worth it. Especially, because Y/N was his first kiss, not that he told Dick that. He figured that he would grow out of his childhood crush but he never did. Sure he dated other girls but something about Y/N kept drawing him back.

Roy had a crush on Y/N since Jason broke into her apartment while they needed a place to lay low. He remembers the night like it was yesterday. Jason had slipped the both of them into a rather nice safe house, which ended up being a condo. Y/N was supposed to be at fashion week in Paris but she ended up not going. When she heard footsteps in her apartment, she threw two batarangs at Roy's head and he'd been infatuated ever since. Not to mention, she babysits Lian from time to time and he nearly melts every time he sees them together.

"I'm telling you, she's gonna end up with Roy," Jason spoke as he and Dick were playing Super Smash Bros. It had been a big debate between the two.

"Nah, Wally doesn't have as much baggage. Love the guy but not for my sister," Dick was honest. Wally seemed to be the option with the least difficulties. However, they were Waynes and if their love wasn't difficult, it wouldn't be them.

"Oh, so you'd rather our sister be with someone who regularly disappears into the speed force," Jason countered as he unlocked his special move in the game. He regularly kicked Dick's ass in this game but for some reason, Dick insisted on playing it.

"What are you guys talking about?" Y/N asked as she walked into the home theater. She couldn't find her other siblings so she was stuck with these two for now.

"You need to pick between Roy and Wally," Jason stated as he put the game on pause. Y/N raised her eyebrows at the sudden statement. No one in her family had ever demanded something of her before.

"First of all, I don't have to do shit but stay black and die. Second of all, I am trying," She whined a little.

"I mean it can't be that hard," Dick said hoping to lighten the mood.

"How's Kori? Or are you with Babs?" Y/N asked looking him in his eyes. Dick was taken aback as he put his hand on his chest.

"Damn," Jason mumbled, he was suddenly grateful that his love life was not being broadcasted.

"Low blow, man," Dick sniffled.

"I like them both," Y/N admitted. She wasn't sure which one she liked more. They both were great in their own ways. She also didn't want to be a heartbreaker.

"Which one do you like better?" Jason asked, wishing for a little clarity. He was really hoping she was leaning more toward Roy.

"Well, Wally can vibrate his entire body but Roy does this thing with his tong-," Y/N started. She knew saying this would allow her brothers to leave her alone.

"No! No! I do not need to know," Dick started screaming while covering his ears. He quickly left the theater room and did not bother to look back.

"So, what'd we learn?" Y/N asked while looking at her remaining brother.

"Not to ask about your love life." Jason made a face of disgust while Y/N just smiled.

[pandorasword]

Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

CHAERI'S MASTERLIST

The relationship between Chaeri and her mother

No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle

❒ warnings: Dysfunctional family, food deprivation, bullying

7 years old Chaeri

"It hurts!" Chaeri whined.

She hated that time of that day, in those classes where your whole body is stretched to its limits and then pulled back tight. The pain always made her feel sick before she came home.

Her teacher kept her knee between her thighs and held both of them pressed flat to the floor. She had said that flexibility training were necessary, but the pressure was terrible.

"It will get better" her teacher insisted "You have to push through the pain, otherwise you'll never get good at this" 

Chaeri gritted her teeth, trying not to cry. She hated how her tears always made the pain worse.

"I don't want to be good at this" 

──────

9 years old Chaeri

"What happened?!"

Kim Eun's eyes were wide with anger as she looked at her daughter. Chaeri knew that look, she had seen it a million times before. It was the look of disappointment and anger and resentment, all rolled into one.

"I'm sorry" Chaeri cried "It just...slipped"

She tried her hardest, she had practiced over and over the choreography for weeks before going on that stage, to compete with other girls from all parts of France.

She worked hard in the hopes of winning, putting in long hours, catching every nuance of what she wanted to accentuate with her body language alone. But who would have expected a mishap like that?

The hat needed for the continuation of the choreography had slipped off the stage.

Chaeri had been trying to grab it, but she was too late. It had fallen to the ground and she had tripped over it.

"I didn't deserve such an untalented daughter"

──────

10 years old Chaeri

Chaeri was in her room. Her face was still adorned with the sparkling glitter she had used in the competition earlier that evening.

She had prepared so much for this contest, to the point of exhaustion.

Months of rehearsing the same choreography over and over again, perfecting every move, every expression, every breath.

She had come home with a beautiful, shiny silver trophy, just big enough to sit proudly on the shelf above her desk.

The walls were painted a light purple, and the trophy she had just received stood out in its bright tones.

“What did the first-place winner do that you did not?” Chaeri, who had not heard the woman's footsteps stopping at the door frame to her room, jumped in fright at Eun's low, stiff voice.

The look on her face was one of disappointment, but not surprise. 

There was a minute of silence before the girl found the right words. She knew that it would only lead to more unpleasant consequences if she gave an answer that the woman would find stupid.

“She… she was perfect,” Chaeri admitted, the admittance a shard of glass in her throat.

“Perfection is what we strive for” her mother stated  “Anything less is simply rehearsal.”

Chaeri’s fingers curled into the fabric of her skirt, the trophy’s shine now seemed to have suddenly become dulled, taking the form of a pale witness to failing. “I thought you would be proud…just a little maybe”

“To be proud, Chaeri, one must first be satisfied” Kim Eun said, holding back a bitter laugh. She could not believe what she was hearing. “And satisfaction is earned, not given for mediocrity. Second place is just the first loser.”

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Do better?” Kim Eun scoffed, stepping into the room, her presence overwhelming. “Doing better is not enough. You must be the best. Anything less is a waste of my investment in you.”

Chaeri’s hands clenched into fists, her nails digging into her palms. “Your investment” she echoed. Feeling more than ever like an object and not a daughter.

"Yes, my investment,” she affirmed, disgusted to have to repeat herself. Ashamed to have received such a response  “I’ve given you everything— the best teachers, the best opportunities. And yet, you consistently fall short.”

The room felt smaller, the air thicker. Chaeri’s breaths came in short gasps, as if the very act of breathing was a challenge. She wanted to scream, to lash out, to tell her mother that she was more than an investment, more than a project to be perfected.

She opened her mouth to speak. Her eyes burned with anger and rebellion, not at her mother, but at her tormentor. For all of her life.

But she had no time to do so, as the woman turned and told her  “I expect you to practice until you can’t stand,” she said, her voice devoid of warmth. “Maybe then, you’ll have a chance at being worthy of this family”

──────

11 years old Chaeri

"Mom!"

Still in her bun and the warm baby pink jumpsuit, Chaeri wandered through the many rooms of her huge mansion looking for her mother.

It was almost sunset, and by that time, Chaeri was usually never home.

The ballet classes she took would occupy her entire day, giving her free time only after dinner and on weekends.

Hence, hearing the young girl's voice around the house disturbed her mom.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class?"

Chaeri followed her mother's voice that led her to the woman's bedroom.

She was rarely allowed to enter that room. As her mother said, a woman's bedroom is a sanctuary that must not be violated.

Bullshit, Chaeri thought. Her mother thought she was stupid enough to believe that shit just because she was only 11 years old, but she knew perfectly well the real reason: Her mother was sleeping with her dance teacher and didn't want her children to see the evidence of it.

But she honestly didn't care. Her mother's private life was none of her business. 

Kim Eun, who never seemed to have a hair out of place and always looked like she just stepped off the pages of a magazine, was there. Even though her makeup was usually so subtle that it did not even seem real, today, without wearing any makeup at all, she was more beautiful than a normal woman could ever hope to be. Her skin looked as if the sun had kissed her whole face, giving her smooth cheeks and an ivory complexion. 

"I'm home" Chaeri greeted her softly, remembering all the times her mother had scolded her for being too loud and clumsy

"I can tell you're home, I asked you why" Her mother crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, a sure sign she was already annoyed by the conversation, but Chaeri ignored it, she knew that what she was going to say would change her mood.

"I got the role of Columbine in the Nutcracker!"

"Well, I'm not surprised" Kim Eun said and Chaeri's face lit up, thinking she was about to receive congratulations from her mother "You have an innate talent for earning good-for-nothing roles"

"But this is the role I've been waiting for" Chaeri protested "All my classmates wanted to be 'Clara'. I think Columbine is a much more fun character and then, the duet with Harlequin is very difficult, just because I dance less doesn't mean I'm-"

"Stop it" In a sudden outburst, her mother's voice was louder than usual and Chaeri stopped midsentence.

The usually graceful Kim Eun, who towered over her daughter with her imposing height, looked like a mad woman. She only revealed this side of herself within the walls of her home

"Stop talking nonsense" she hissed "Did you even try to get the role of 'Clara'?"

Dropping her head, Chaeri turned to look at the tips of her shoes. They were beautiful; shiny white so bright you could see yourself reflected in them. There was no occasion when her mother did not remind her how all those 'beautiful' things she got them because of her and no one else.

"I tried, even though it wasn't the role I wanted"

"And you couldn't get it"

"No"

"Obviously, you tried not hard enough," she snapped back "You are a disappointment. Why can't you be as good as your brother? You will bring shame upon my reputation"

"No matter what you expected of me, I wanted the role of Columbine anyway" Chaeri said, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice "So I'm not interested in what you have to say"

"You little- " Before her mother could finish, Chaeri turned around and ran out of the room, not wanting to be hit by her.

──────

12 years old Chaeri

The kitchen was quiet, the only sound was the soft ticking of the clock on the wall. Chaeri sat at the table, staring at the plate in front of her. It was almost empty, just a few slices of apple and a handful of almonds. This was her dinner, the same as it had been for the past few weeks.

Her mother believed that a ballerina’s figure was paramount, that it was the key to grace and beauty on stage. “You must be light as a feather, my dear” she would say, her voice as cold as the untouched food on Chaeri’s plate. “No one wants to see a heavy dancer.”

Chaeri knew better than to argue. The last time she had asked for more food, her mother had looked at her as if she had asked for the moon. “You want to be a dancer, don’t you?” she had said, her tone implying that hunger was a small price to pay for success.

But Chaeri was tired. Tired of being hungry, tired of the constant ache in her stomach that no amount of water could quell. She missed the warmth of a full meal, the satisfaction of eating something meaty.

All because she'd been found to be one pound over her classmates during the monthly body check at dance school. That damned pound, her teacher had pointed out, was too much for a dancer whose job is to be lifted into the air by others. "Don't be selfish" the teacher had told her, "you'll make anyone who does a pas de deux with you lose their breath at that weight."

Never before had she felt so humiliated, never before had she been so ashamed of the chocolate chip cookies in her backpack that she had brought with her as a snack.

She pushed the plate away, frustrated with that dinner that could not be called 'dinner'.

Her mother smiled at her when she saw that she got up from the table without touching a single almond. Her stomach turned and she felt nauseous.

How perverse was it that she had to treat her body unnaturally in order to gain the approval of the woman who had given her life?

She caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of the window. The moonlight cast a pale glow on her face, highlighting the sharpness of her cheekbones, the hollowness of her eyes. She was the picture of a perfect ballerina, and yet, she had never felt more imperfect. 

She turned away from the window, from the ghostly reflection that seemed to mock her. She would go to bed hungry again tonight, but in her dreams, she would feast like a queen.

taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @bts-dream | @enchantingbrowneyedgirl | @ycuvi | @cosmicwintr

[imaginespazzi]

Pazzi Drabble #2: Not Yet, Maybe Soon

Words: 933

TW: Light Swearing, Paige's ACL Injury

64 missed calls from Big Head Fudd

paige?

call me back please

are you still at the hospital???? did they do an mri??

hello??

dude?

PAIGE

k i'll just call carol for more info then i guess

please talk to me

just call me whenever ok?

i love you

There are more texts and if Paige closes her eyes, she can picture her best friend throughout the day, hunched over her phone, fingers tapping away frantically. She'd almost texted her back, almost picked up some of the missed calls, and then stopped herself. She hadn't been ready yet. Truthfully, she's not sure she's ready now but the overwhelming need to hear Azzi's voice pushes her to finally call her best friend back. She answers on the second ring.

"I bought a new fortnite skin," Paige blurts out before Azzi can even say anything. It's so random but she knows Azzi will understand why.

"Well at least it wasn't new shoes," Azzi says slowly, "we need to get you a financial consultant or something."

"I have one and I'll have you know he thinks it's an amazing investment."

"Well you should fire him them because investment? Really?"

"You're just jealous," Paige huffs. Bickering with Azzi feels so natural, so easy; she wants to lose herself in the comfort of it and just forget.

"Of your new fortnite skin? Absolutely not," and Paige can feel Azzi rolling her eyes through the phone. It almost makes her smile, almost.

"You're awake pretty late," Paige says after a beat.

"Yeah well, iwaswaitingforyoutocall," Azzi mumbles and Paige's heart flutters.

"What was that?" she asks and this time she does smile.

"Shut up," Azzi sighs but repeats herself anyway, "I was waiting for you to call. Couldn't sleep without talking to you."

Sometimes Paige wonders if Azzi understands the gravity of the things she says, if she understands the way they hit a part of Paige's soul she hadn't even known existed until Azzi. She pencils the admission into her mind's notebook, in a list titled things azzi says that break my heart and fix it at the same time.

"You're such a sap," Paige teases.

"Only for you Bueckers, only for you." and there's mirth in Azzi's voice but there's a touch of of something else too.

Paige pencils this confession into a list titled maybe it's not all in my head, maybe you feel it too.

They fall into silence. There's something comforting about hearing each other breathe, about listening to the sounds of the other's heartbeat. And amidst the calming quiet, Paige finally feels ready.

"Az," she whispers, the rest of her sentence sitting heavy on the tip of her tongue, "I tore my ACL."

The words hang in the air like a thick fog that suffocates Paige. She's known it all day. She'd known it the minute she'd torn it. But saying it out loud is different. Saying it out loud is making it a reality, her reality.

"Fuck," she curses, as the first tear slides down her cheeks, followed by a second and then a third until there's a constant stream flowing down her face, "shit. I tore my ACL."

"Paige," Azzi says, and she's never been one for a fake it'll be okay, not when she knows it won't be, not for a while at least but she hopes, Paige can hear the i'll be here for it all that she wraps around the whisper of her best friend's name.

"I'm not gonna play this season. I barely played last year and now, I'm out again," Paige says slowly, the admissions falling down from her lips like dominoes, "I'm not gonna play basketball properly for almost a year. Fuck."

Paige doesn't really know a life beyond basketball. After her family, everything she had, had come from basketball. The game had given her everything, including the girl on the other end of the phone. As she finally admits to herself that the game's been taken away from her, no matter how temporary it might be, Paige feels lost.

"What do I do," she pleads desperately, "Azzi, fuck, what do I do now?"

It takes Azzi a moment to gather her thoughts, to pry herself away from the misery she feels herself and be strong for her best friend.

"Tonight, you let yourself break," she says finally, remembering something her mother had said during her own ACL injury, "and tomorrow, you start to power through."

"Right," Paige leans back against the backboard, closing her eyes and repeating it to herself, "power through. God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers."

"And you're the strongest of them all Paige. You're gonna get through this and I'll be right by your side for all of it, " Azzi says firmly, and the promise of it, of Azzi being there, loosens the knot in Paige's chest just a little bit.

"I wish you were here right now," Paige confesses. In the grand scheme of things, missing Azzi is not a new concept to Paige. They'd been apart far more than they'd been together for most of their friendship. But it's different this time and she's not quite ready to give a name to dull ache in her chest that rise every time's she's not around Azzi.

"I wish I was too," Azzi says softly. She means it more than she can ever convey.

There are deeper things, deeper feelings, that they hide behind those wishes. And perhaps one day, they'll have the courage to not hide those three words behind platitudes of friendship. But not yet, maybe soon.

***

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3. Look at me actually living up to a deadline I set for myself! I kinda hate how I ended this but I genuinely did not know how to finish it so whelp. Anyways, I hope that was a good quick read and I promise I will finally write something happy next time. Have a lovely weekend and let's get another W on Sunday!!

[asherloki]

Innocence!

Bbc Sherlock x virgin reader!

Warning:- fingering, age gap, sexual context!

Request:- Can I request 14 and 29 from the smut prompts with sherlock please? I can’t wait to see what you come up with! ~ anon!

Prompt list!

"Ugh, I said no" y/n said on phone annoyingly before hanging up. Sherlock was stunned to see her in such a mood. His roommate, or rather little roomate is always childish (like him) but what caused her to be annoyed. He calls her little roommate because she always acts like a baby and was also quite younger than him.

"What's wrong little...." Sherlock was about to say his favourite nickname for her but y/n stopped him.

"Don't you dare say that, I'm very mad."

"I just wanted to know what's wrong" said Sherlock.

"Ugh, this fucking guy friend of mine want's to hookup with me"

"Oh" said Sherlock as this topic he tends to avoid cause he's way too ahead of this, "so what's stopping you."

"I don't want to" snaps y/n

"Wait wait wait, don't tell me it's Chris" Sherlock asks now, he's now perfectly invested in solving y/n's case.

"What... How do you know that?" Asked she.

"Oh because when you received the call you were happy and when he talked of hooking up you were annoyed, you totally have a crush on him but you may not be ready for sex and it's totally fine." Said Sherlock.

"No I can't hide a thing from you" y/n snapped again.

"Mmmm no you can't" said he and gave a mischievous smile, which said 'i'll always win'.

"But it's not that I'm not ready." She started to explain.

"So?" Sherlock enquired putting his laptop down.

"I don't want a casual hookup, I can only sleep with someone I love, and also..."

"And also?" He asked.

"Nothing but yeah just casual hookup ain't my thing."

"Hmmm... What kinda men do you like though." Asked Sherlock and this did the trick. She blushed and looked away, Sherlock always noticed how she'd stare at him when he's inside in his house robes, how domestic, he noticed she'd stare at his long fingers and there's something about her blush when Sherlock is to close to her. He knew she might like him. But he was too older. Over ten years, so he preferred to keep it platonic, but he knows the truth, when she comes out of the bathroom wearing a bathrobe, water still dripping from hair, it does makes Sherlock stare too. When she watches herself in the mirror and wears lipstick, winks at her own reflection Sherlock does stares then as well. Y/n thought before answering him, "i don't think I have a specific type but if I have sex, I'd want someone who'd care for me because...."

"Because?"

"I don't know anything about it honestly." She admitted. Sherlock got up and said, "sit here little...."

"No, not that name". She warned.

"Okay, come sit we'll discuss about this Chris guy."

She sits on his couch and takes her phone in hand. When He suddenly came close to y/n. His face very close to her, she liked it. She even blushed furiously,

"Wh-what?" She asked softly.

"Nothing just... wanna taste my cupcake." He replied seductively.

Slowly he pressed his lips on hers. She returned the the kiss. She knew how to kiss thankfully but the next thing was new, Sherlock slipped a tongue inside her mouth and so did she. She cupped his face and enjoyed their tongues dancing. Then His lips went from her lips to her soft cheeks and then neck and collarbone, no one ever visited those places. Her whimpers and gasps reflected her inexperience. She caught his back and the upper arm tightly as his hand went to touch her delicate soft thighs, then to upwards.

"Sherlock" his name came out as whimper as he touched exactly where even she herself never did. Sherlock lifted his face from her neck and enquired with baffled eyes, "you never touched yourself?"

In reply y/n could only shake her head. To this, Sherlock gave a mischievous smirk. And his hand slide inside her panties to touch where she needed to be. Her eyes closed in pleasure and in embarrassment. Sherlock exploring her. The places of her body which no body ever has. His fingers touched her slit and the clit. She couldn't help but whimper softly.

"You're wet, so wet." Sherlock said, rather whispered.

"I've never been... Ah touched like this before". Y/n replied.

"Good" he whispered to her ear, intentionally so his voice send shivers down her spine. He rubbed his finger against her clit. This was enough for her to moan. She gripped him tightly almost her small nails as if it would dig in his flesh making holes in his coat. "Oh fuck" she moaned followed by a hum. Her innocent child like face making such sounds? Sherlock may have been more turned on by her helpless state, her innocent face. She was absolutely inexperienced when it came to sex.

"I never knew you make such sweet noises" teased Sherlock.

"Neither do I." She replied rather whispered between her pleasure.

As she grew more wet he took this opportunity to slide his finger in her. This was new to her too. A sudden low scream came out of her mouth.

"Shhhh don't let Mrs Hudson know". Said he. And started to finger her. She rolled her eyes once he got the rhythm, in pleasure.

"You like it little cupcake?" Asked he . She could hardly talk back, yet tried and said, "don't stop please". Looking at him with her puppy eyes, Sherlock wouldn't admit but he was a sucker for that baby face and her puppy eyes.

"I don't intend to." He replied and fastened his speed.

"Keep doing what you're doing, please Sherlock." She pleaded.

"I got you". He fingered her harder until he felt she was close and came all over his finger. He held her and she panted for her first time experiencing something like that.

"This is how you do it." Sherlock said with a smile. A smile which had care and mischief both. To this she needed to reply to her detective. She turned and smirked. Her confidence grew alot after this so she said,

"Maybe you can teach me something more."

[russellsppttemplates]

So what happens when Amélie brings her boyfriend home for the first time? What will be the reactions of Charles and her brothers?

They knew she was seeing someone and that it was going really well. She would come home with a giddy smile on her face, and it was noticeable that she was having a good time and that this person meant a lot to her.

When Amélie announced that she would like you to meet him, Charles was the first to suggest you do it at home, hoping for a more private setting. When you both laid in the sofa that night, your head resting on his chest, you couldn't help but question, "is everything okay? I'm not going to lie, I thought you'd have a... bigger reaction, let's put it that way. You know, about Amélie and the dinner with her boyfriend".

"I can't just throw a tantrum about it, can I?", he chuckled, "do I like the idea that some boy had charmed up my daughter? Maybe not, but there's also the possibility that he is an okay boy and if she really likes him, I should give him a chance, right?", he said, almost through gritted teeth, "is that so?", you checked over, "I have to admit that I don't know what it will take for me to be convinced, but your parents could've been the same way about me. Imagine if your dad was this protective over you-", he began, "he was", you interrupted.

"Imagine of he was this protective, I would've never married you in the first place!", he finished his thought, "I still thank my lucky stars everyday that I have you with me", he said, puckering his lips to kiss yours.

When you got up to go to the bathroom, Hervé was the first to tease his father, "how hard was it for you to admit that you were okay with this?", he chuckled. "My throat still feels funny after saying even though I feel like someone fished it out through there", he mumbled.

While Hervé was fine and welcoming at the dinner, Thomas kept inquiring Amélie's boyfriend. He wanted to know where he stood in subjects you weren't even aware your youngest son knew that much about, looking to understand what the guy that was seeing his sister was up to.

"Thomas, can you help me with dessert, please?", you asked, knowing he wouldn't say no to you. In the kitchen, he stretched his arms, expecting plates or a serving tray and being met instead with two pinches on his hands, "ouch! What was that for?", he whisper-yelled.

"You're scaring the poor boy with all those questions! What do you know about investments and taxes? And public transportation?", you questioned, "I'm just trying to get a sense of the guy who is stealing my sister away from me!", he admitted. The difference in age meant that, even though all your kids were close to eachother, Amélie and Thomas had always stuck together, and apparently, he was feeling it the most. "Thomas, Amélie is still our Amélie. There's no boy who's going to take her away from you", you tapped his shoulder, handing him a set of plates, "let's go, I bet if you actually asking him different things, you'll get a better sense of who he is and find out similar interests, hm?".

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

[alexbkrieger13]

Full artcle

I couldn't hold back my tears.

I don't know if it's age, but I seem to get more emotional in these situations.

It's difficult to put into words what I felt when I jumped onto the ice at the Verdun Auditorium on January 13 for our team's home opener.

The crowd was incredible, but it was more than just the ovation that put me in this state. This emotion represented years of effort. I dreamed of this moment for a long time and, finally, we were there.

When I saw great women like Caroline Ouellette, France St-Louis, Kim St-Pierre and Danielle Goyette arrive on the ice, I got chills. I was so happy that people recognized them and gave them the ovation they deserve. Without them, I would not have had the same career.

I'll be honest. At one point, I feared this moment would never come. It took longer than expected. Yes, there were these showcases , weekends where matches were organized in different cities, but it had nothing to do with a real professional league.

JI remember the first time I came to see the installations in Verdun with Danièle Sauvageau. There was almost nothing done. We had our work boots and construction helmets. She had a vision which she explained to me in detail. But I really had a hard time imagining it.

Marie-Philip Poulin greets the crowd after a Montreal team match.

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

Our fans are the best. Friends who play on other teams told me that. It's not a crowd like any other in Montreal. She is noisy. She is invested. It's important to me to give back to people who are on the move. I am now more comfortable in this role. It’s the experience that comes in, you have to believe.

Before a live interview on Radio-Canada during an intermission at the Verdun Auditorium, a boy called me to offer me a treat. He threw one at me and I caught it in midair with my mouth. I started my interview anyway, with a smile on my face and my mouth full. It's part of my identity, my personality. Interaction with young people is really important to me.

The enthusiasm for our league is very real. I feel it. I hear it too. In Ottawa, I got booed when I went for a penalty shot. Being booed at home, in Canada, I admit that it's a first! It's weird, but it doesn't bother me. After all, that's what we wanted: a competitive league, rivalries and fans who identify with their city.

After a game in Minnesota, we went for a beer. Fathers came to see us to tell us how excited they were to see professional women's hockey. I saw how happy they were for us. It was in Minnesota, we are the team from Montreal and, despite everything, we attract attention.

This anecdote made me realize how our situation has nothing to do with what we experienced in the past. The enthusiasm is there and I have the impression that it is not just the effect of novelty. It will last and it's truly magical.

OHe talks to me a lot about this match last January 20, against Toronto . In fact, I'm mostly told about this goal scored with 17 seconds left in the third period and that we lost by one goal. Honestly, I don't know what happened. I had a blackout . It's rare that I take the puck and try to get to the goal on my own. I saw an opening. It was not premeditated. I was the first surprise when I scored.

Then, I was sent to shootouts four times by my coach. I obviously wasn't ready for that. It took me a little by surprise. It's not my favorite rule, but I'll get used to it.

I was burned out after that match. It's a lot of adaptation. LPHF games, Canada-US Rivalry Series, travel. We're not used to having such a big workload. You have to prepare well, but also make sure you recover well. That's the beauty of this league. It allows me to continue to surpass myself, to learn new things.

Marie-Philip Poulin

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

I like hockey. I love that. And what I prefer is when the score is close. I like it when you have to give a little more, when you have to empty the tank. When it really counts, that's when I'm at my best. It turns me on.

My parents always told me: You practice like you play. It always stuck in my mind. I don't take anything for granted. I am aware of the pressure, but I have learned to manage it over the years. I don't forget that it's a team sport. I'm lucky to have been able to achieve some of these great moments, but I know I'm not alone in this.

I won Olympic medals, but I also lost world championships. I even wondered if I was capable of winning one. The 2018 Olympics were arguably the most difficult time of my career. I was practically hiding. I didn't want to see anyone. I thought I had disappointed the whole world by failing to bring home the gold medal.

I also learned not to read everything, to leave certain comments aside. Hockey is such a difficult sport. You can do the same thing every game, but the rebound won't go your way, it won't work or the opposing goalie will be on fire. I keep in mind that if you give your maximum in every match, it will happen.

People expect me to score goals, but that's not all I am. I take a lot of pride in blocking shots, in raising sticks in defensive withdrawal. I can still improve my defensive game. To win championships, you have to count, but the little details in the defensive zone will make the difference.

Marie-Philip Poulin and Laura Stacey celebrate a goal together on January 2, against Ottawa

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

Even though she has been on the national team for a long time and is one of the best players in the world, Laura Stacey is less known to Quebec fans. Why her, they then asked themselves?

I knew full well that Danièle Sauvageau had not chosen her because she is my fiancée. Laura, she's an incredible player. A real power forward who has remarkable discipline.

She chose to move to another province. She is learning the language and doesn't hesitate to try to do bits of interviews in French. It's not easy, but she embraces her new reality.

I'm proud of her. I am proud to see her doing promotions for the media in French. I'm proud that people are discovering her personality, the player she is and that Montrealers are falling in love with her because she really deserves it.

OI often ask myself why I continue.

I don't have to play hockey. I do it because I love it. I feel the best on the ice.

I have the Olympic gold medals, the World Championship gold medals. Now I want to win an LPHF title in Montreal, at home.

Having a positive impact on the next generation has become my priority. To see the little girls in the stands, with stars in their eyes, it's worth more than championships, it's worth more than medals.

Eventually, I want to start a family. It would be in my next projects. We love kids, so this is really important to us.

For the moment, it's still hockey first and foremost.

Marie-Philip Poulin has fun during off-ice training

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERONStart of widget. Skip widget?

Comments collected by Christine Roger

Header photo by LPHF Montréal/Arianne Bergeron

[lacyscabinet]

You asked for requests and here I am

I was thinking (actually just in need of some angst) about how Natalie would react to a break up, like reader tells her that she cant be with Nat anymore, the reason is up to you 😁 (Also I really love your writing, its gets better with each post)

A/n: thank you sm!!!! I hope u enjoy<33

Not proofread

MASTERLIST

Danger

You could take it anymore.

It was too much.

Months after months you saw Natalie slowly getting worse with her addictions, at first it was just some weed at parties, then the weed replaced cigarettes and she started using drugs.

It's not like you cared THAT much at first, but when she was too wasted to even form sentences, that's when you started to worry.

And with moths passing by, it just got worse and worse, until one day, you had planned to hang out at her trailer, only to find her stoned as hell on her bed

"Nat!? Hey...hey come on can you hear me?" You basically yelled while slapping her face lightly "mmm... baby" she mumbled "What did you take?"

"Some acids my friend's cousin gave me" at that your eyes widened, acids? Since when was she using acids!?

It was already late, so you simply tucked her under the covers, hoping she would sleep her high away, then you slid inside the sheets next to her.

That night for you was the last straw.

The following morning, you were up since the early hours, sitting on the edge of her bed, then you heard shuffling and felt a pair of arms wrapping around your waist, then soft, sloppy and slow kisses placed on your neck "Morning baby"

You turned your head to face her, hair all messy and red under eyes.

"Natalie... I can't do it anymore" you said, tears already forming in your eyes.

"What do you mean?" She genuinely asked "I can't stand when you do this Natalie, this is not okay, you can't be this close overdose every. single. time."

She just looked at you, nothing to say, because you were right, she knew that at some point her reckless behavior would start to take a toll on you.

"Are you breaking up with me?" She asked, now her eyes were watering too.

"I can't be with you Nat, you're going down, and if you keep doing this you'll bury me with you, and...you are just not the same, this is not as it used to be" you took a deep breath "At first you were present, invested and I actually felt loved, now you just take pills from left and right and swallow them with alcohol, even if you're here, I can't feel you"

"Baby..." Nat cooed but you swiftly interrupted her with a harsh tone "Don't call me that"

Natalie looked down "I'm sorry you felt like that, I didn't realize" you bitterly chuckled "of course you didn't" and then you got up and grabbed your bag "goodbye Natalie"

"Wait! You can't just leave me like that! We can talk about it, I can get better, I can get clean, I swear y/n I'll try my best, don't leave please"

"You left me too Natalie, but unlike I did, you never admitted it"

[calchexxis]

I realize that since Lightcannon is a lot less rarepair-y post-Arcane, and WenClair and Sylvaina never were, my penchant for rarepairs and crackships is now less well-known so here's some of my more off the wall fics I'm proud of!

Renataphine (Renata/Seraphine) - League of Legends

Cherry Wine

Fresh from her collaboration with K/DA, Seraphine finds herself struggling in the world of music out from under the wings of the breakout idols who found her. Unwilling to allow an investment to fail, her producer brings in a veteran manager to push Seraphine to where she needs to be to succeed. That's assuming Seraphine doesn't kill her first.

One Last Song

Fresh from her collaboration with K/DA, Seraphine finds herself struggling in the world of music out from under the wings of the breakout idols who found her. Unwilling to allow an investment to fail, her producer brings in a veteran manager to push Seraphine to where she needs to be to succeed. That's assuming Seraphine doesn't kill her first.

Lux/Illaoi (feat. Trans Lux) - League of Legends

Test of Spirit (Series)

Eluxar Crownguard has always chosen to present female in his disguises when on-mission for the Radiant. He would never admit how much more comfortable it is to be known as 'Luxanna' to anyone he knows. However, when Eluxar's latest mission brings him face-to-face with the Truthbearer of Nagakabouros, he will be forced to choose. Drown or Swim?

Celestine/Greyfax - Warhammer 40k

Saintsbride (Series)

Following their flight from Holy Terra aboard a warship of the Adeptus Custodes after the destruction of the Cathedral of Saint Thor, and lacking anything productive to occupy her time, Katarinya Greyfax finds herself seeking solace at the bottom of a decanter of amasec until she is interrupted by her companion, the Living Saint Celestine, who is concerned for the Inquisitor's health and stability. Perhaps she shall find a measure of both in the arms of the Saint.

[keets-writing-corner]

I need to talk about RWBY's Jaune Arc

okay this is 1.6k words, immaaaaaaaa put a cut

Okay so going into RWBY back in 2019, that was great right. I was in the middle of getting my degree in creative writing I was seriously burnt out from how formulaic stories had gotten for me, and then comes along my friend being all YOU SHOULD WATCH RWBY. And I said, SURE

now my friend knows my types and she nailed who my favorite character was going to be (Oscar) and she also nailed who my other favorites would be (Ren and Qrow) and I'll admit, 90% of my investment in RWBY was ya know, my favorite boys (Don't worry I love plenty of the girls, it just happened that my top 3 ended up being guys this time around). And wow RWBY was just such a breath of fresh air for me given all the story telling stuff I was learning about in college

and specifically, now that we're like waiting for volume 10 to be greenlit, I'm surprised by how much I've grown to like Jaune

I used to not care for Jaune/find him mildly annoying in Volume 1. He was the... audience stand in, so he had to be a little dumb. He was falling into a little bit of a stereotypical pretending to be confident to impress the ladies role. But ya know, I didn't hate him. He just wasn't my favorite of team JNPR

then volume 2 comes around and he has his whole IMMA INVITE WEISS TO THE DANCE WITH ME :D and I was not about that, it was pushy, and also, I really do not care for that sort of romance in the stories I'm engaging with, and then... it didn't go that route. He realized that Pyrrha wanted to go with him, that he had been unintentionally insensitive towards her, and pursued a girl who didn't even care about him who liked someone else. And Jaune just went "alright, damage control, gonna get Weiss what she wants and gonna give Pyrrha what she deserves" and that was the first time instead of being neutral or annoyed at Jaune I thought ya know, this guy... this guy has good bean potential. I'm interested in seeing where they take him next

And then there's Volume 3. He's been training with Pyrrha, he's been more supportive as a partner, he's been TRYING to be a good leader for his team, like he's not perfect at any of those but he's TRYING and he's lost a lot of the traits that I found annoying originally. Now he's starting to full step into the supportive wholesome leader role. And then, ya know the finale happens and just... ouch. Things were looking up for White boy, and the rug wasn't just pulled out from under him, it also slapped him in the face and threw him down the stairs

Now through Volumes 4-5 Jaune was still in the "I'm pretty meh" about him territory. There were moments where I found myself deeply empathizing with him, specifically in the scenes that showed him mourning Pyrrha, especially because well... I've been there. I've lost someone I was close with when I was 17 too. Extremely different circumstances but that thing where you put on a video of them and you watch it over and over and over because you so desperately want them back, that you're reaching for wisps and smoke of what used to be them all for a brief small chance to feel their presence again. And it's just, it's never enough. No matter how many times you watch the video, no matter how many times you replay their voice talking to you, no matter how many times you listen to old messages they sent you, they are gone and nothing in the world is going to change that. It hurts. It hurts so bad

this boy is GRIEVING

but, he was being bitchy. And look, I don't blame the guy alright. Grief messes you up as a person, it brings out sides of you you didn't know you had, it prevents you from being the best version of yourself. I. GET. IT. But he was being bitchy towards Qrow(aforementioned fave, special mention to that time he slammed Oscar ANOTHER FAVE against the wall), and at the battle of Haven, he initially let his grief and anger get the better of him, and ngl I couldn't watch. (To clarify, absolutely no shade to the writers, this was GOLDEN, peek character writing and whatnot) But that is what Jaune's arc is about at the end of the day. I'm not saying the other characters aren't grieving too, they absolutely are. But Jaune's arc has a lot more focus on how grief hurts and changes a person, how it gets the better of us, and how ultimately, if we want to move forward, if we want to keep going, we cannot just fight it and resist it because it feels icky. We cannot just sit in it because we hate what happened and happiness feels fake and forever gone. We cannot pretend the grief isn't there either.

Cue Volume 6 where he was mostly backstage, but all of this comes to a culmination at Pyrrha's statue and Jaune finally gets a moment where he gets to sit with his grief. Really sit with it. In a way that isn't anger, or repression, or wishing things had been different or that Pyrrha was there. He got to sit with his grief with the reality that it was. He lost Pyrrha. And it hurt. Maybe it was senseless. Maybe he really couldn't have done anything. Maybe it really does hurt so bad. But at the end of the day, it had been Pyrrha's choice to try and do something. And for better or for worse, she tried. And the rest of his team confront him. Ren and Nora are quick to console him, and join in on the grieving. And they also confront him about his behavior in season 5, where he believed that he didn't matter so long as his friends got to live. And here are Ren and Nora telling him, buddy, you DO matter. You matter so much. You matter to us just as much as Pyrrha mattered to us. We all chose to be huntsmen, so let us grow together and honor her choice even if it hurts. We can hurt together and we can take comfort together.

And listen, up until this point, when I was watching RWBY, Jaune was not my favorite. He never had been. He was just a guy that was there going through his own arcs. But after this key moment in volume 6, suddenly I find himself enjoying seeing him whenever he was on screen

for the rest of volume 6 he slips naturally into an empathetic leader. Stealing the ships was his idea but he let everyone take the roles they were good at, he played good support, he protected his team when possible. AND THEN WE GET TO 7 AND 8 and omg

friends

this is when I started loving Jaune. Suddenly, it's like he found a balance, he found himself. He was still hurting but instead of being angry he was being compassionate. He was still goofy and fun, but he was no longer annoying being respectful of people. He was no longer blundering about on the battlefield but he was moving with purpose and with skill. This Jaune feels like an entirely different character than the Jaune we first met back in volume 1. He's fallen into a character role that I personally love. I love the empathic leaders who are a little bit goofy. I love them to pieces. I love their level-headedness, i love their compassion. I love their gentleness. But what made Jaune special is that we got to see how much he had to suffer to get there. He was doing the best he's ever been, and he was being so kind and so humble (straight up, tempted to do a time travel AU fic or something with baby jaune and leader jaune meeting each other cuz they'd be so different)

Then we reach the end of 8 and ya know

THAT happened

and of course Jaune's arc is always about grief. But what a stroke of genius, have him find his footing and then REtraumatize him. ngl, I ALSO have been there, and imo the retraumatization is almost worst than the originally one, especially if you haven't properly dealt with the OG emotions because now THOSE come rushing back AND you've got new fresh ones to deal with. Call me a sadist. Accuse me of projecting my own trauma or whatever, but genuinely I loved what they did with Jaune in volume 9. It was *chef's kiss*. The unhealthy coping, the latching onto and hyperfixating on a single thing that ultimately is the opposite of what he needed, forced to be alone for decades, betrayed by someone he tried to help, being reunited with his friends without having processed or dealt with any of that and STILL trying to be friendly and kind and gentle to them while barely keeping it together- it's just SO GOOD

and ultimately he does break. But his friends are there with him, just like Ren and Nora helped him in volume 6. He's still the gentle leader he's grown into, but now there's just so much more to it, there's so many layers

I'm genuinely so excited to see where they take him for future volumes. He still can't dethrone my favorites BUT he has climbed the ranks of my favorite characters so fast that I wouldn't have believed you if you told me when I started watching RWBY that the character I found most annoying would end up being one of my favorite RWBY characters

soooooo yeah

I really love Jaune now

controversial opinion, I love his short hair

[mediocre-daydreams]

I SAW UR MARVEL X FAMOUS READER THING and can i please req for a bucky x singer!reader or peter parker x singer!reader and the secret relationship trope where the avengers catch peter/bucky in a phone call and catching them acting all pouty and whiney and all cute and twirling their hair while giggling like school girls and the avengers being all shocked but not knowing who he was talking to + little scenes or bucky/peter smirking or looking proud whenever r is on tv + and the all the avengers going to some sort of concert or event where r is performing and r literally going down to the audience while performing to kiss bucky/peter and just social media freaking out !!

I LOVED WRITING THIS!! sorry it took so long to finish; i wanted it to be perfect for my tubmblr spouse ksjdfhd. anyways this was so so cute and i'm gonna do some extra drabbles + smau bonus posts because wow i loved this concept

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧

peter parker x singer! reader

notes: swearing, mentions of the birds and bees in a non-sexual way, so much fluff bro, the tiniest smidge of angst it's like a sprinkle of salt, a bit of insecure peter feeling like he's not enough, vague description of canon-level violence, lowkey breaking the fourth wall, the avengers are nosy as fuck and definition crack, clint is in his red (taylor's version) era

w/c: 5.2k

the songs used in the fic are by taylor swift + linked at the bottom of the post <3 (but also taylor canonically exists in this universe so she still has her music peter's a swiftie just go with it pls)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

peter parker never failed to confound; and no, it wasn’t just the avengers that were confused by his… antics. may, mj, and ned were equally as surprised when they caught peter parker, their [overly] enthusiastic, nervous, forever-in-motion peter parker, casually laying in bed, propped against a pillow with one arm behind his head that made him look like some cookie-cutter male love interest in a cheesy romcom, nonchalantly talking to a female voice from his phone.

mj and ned were no idiots—they’d been the first to discover his spiderman identity so scoping out the identity of peter’s secret female friend was almost as easy as getting flash to talk about sports cars. peter eventually had to spill the beans to may after she confronted him about his ridiculously high monthly phone bill.

but the team of the world’s best spies, geniuses with multiple PhDs, highly trained super soldier assassins, and the man who singlehandedly made the “birds aren’t real, they’re government spies” conspiracy come true, still hadn’t managed to find the tea they so desperately wanted peter to spill. they were too prideful to ask peter to his face and admit defeat, so for weeks, they’d pulled out all their tricks only to fail miserably.

sam tried having redwing perch outside peter’s window to catch footage of any new visitors; there were none. clint, who’d snuck into the vents, and bucky, utilizing his super soldier hearing, had tried eavsdropping on one of his calls. all they heard was peter singing off key and then a yelp as he snapped one of his guitar strings. steve and bruce had tried to casually sit peter down and talk to him about the birds and the bees, hoping that peter would let something slip about any of his romantic or sexual relationships, but peter just groaned and said may had already told him this. natasha even tried hacking into peter’s internet and phone history, but once she found the spiderman tiktok edits and an obscene number of shirtless pictures, she had to stop. 

after a lot of bribery and light extortion from tony (who was probably the most invested in revealing peter’s gal pal), wanda reluctantly tried to read peter’s mind, only to see flashes of who she presumed to be peter’s celebrity crush. the avengers had never pegged peter for a fanboy (actually, a good third of them thought he swung the other way and sam and bucky insisted he was on the path to incel-hood), but the fanatic squealing and giggling that emanated from peter’s room every night told a different story. it was clear: the boy had an unhealthy parasocial relationship with a girl who would never know of his existence.

“hey petey pie, d’you still have my artisanal hand lotion?” tony came up to peter as he tinkered with his web shooters.

“oh yeah, mr. stark! they’re in my room and on my desk. you can just go in, if you want.” peter had a spare room in the tower that he used after long missions or big lab projects; it was much more empty than his room at aunt may’s. as most teenagers did, peter considered his bedroom a personal, private sanctuary, but his tower room’s furnishings were pretty basic and he usually didn’t even bother to close the door.

peter’s desk was fairly empty sans tony’s lotion, but because of how barren it was, tony’s eye was automatically drawn to the papers at the corner of the table. no, not his illegible chemistry notes. there was a flyer advertising your upcoming tour dates and locations, and underneath it was an autographed vinyl of what tony assumed was one of your albums.

but tony was truly horrified when he found the bottle of half-used perfume from your brand sitting on peter’s nightstand, in front of a framed picture of him photoshopped next to you.

“peter, we need to have a chat.” tony gestured to the communal living room, where steve, bucky, sam, wanda, and natasha were sitting. steve was holding a sheet of printer paper that said “intervention.”

peter looked around the room, trying to figure out who the intervention was for. “you never call me peter,” he laughed nervously, “is something going on? are we throwing a surprise party?”

peter made the mistake of looking over at steve and he couldn’t help but cower under the nation’s most powerful I’m Not Mad, Just Disappointed Face™. 

“kid, why don’t you take a seat?” steve sighed like a Disapointed Father™.

peter sat as far away from the rest of the avengers as he could, wary of how they’d all been looking at him. that was his second mistake, because he ended up across from a team of master interrogators who were staring him down like he was their next victim (because he was). 

“we wanted to discuss- uh, the… internet with you,” bucky began.

“oh, mr. sergeant bucky sir, if you need help with the wifi router again, i can show you how to fix it yourself, it’s easy, ac-”

“no- no! that’s not… we’re not talking about that. so obviously your aunt may has already given you the se- safe reproductive activities talk, but we wanted you know, as tech experts-” bruce looked at tony and nat. “-to make sure you understood safe internect practices. safe and healthy internet practice.”

peter visibly relaxed. “oh, if that’s what you’re worried about, it’s all good! midtown has a mandatory seminar and i already know not to use omegle—i learned that the hard way, but i did learn; plus, i took a scratch lesson about html so i’m pretty like, tech proficient.”

“peter, have you ever heard of parasocial relationships?” the rest of the team shot wanda dirty looks at her slip up. they were supposed to ease into the whole thing so that peter didn’t get scared and run off.

“oh, like dating app parasites? yeah, ned was joking around on christian mingle and got this horrible-”

“let me put this into chronically online gen z words,” natasha grimaced. “do you know what the infinitive ‘to stan’ means?”

peter was puzzled. “oh yeah, of course! this guy flash from school has a huuuge obsession with sebastian stan; like, he stans sebastian stan. it’s kind of unhealthy. i’m pretty sure flash thinks he’s the y/n in a ‘my mom sold me to one direction for money’ ao3 fanfiction.”

“right…” sam’s face was all screwed up as he tried to steer the conversation away from 2000s boyband kidnapping aus. “and what about you, peter? do you stan anyone? any… attractive female celebrity who’s approximately your age?”

peter looked genuinely confused. “i mean, i’m a swiftie, if that counts. but not in an unhealthy way!” peter reassured. “i’m not one of those people who has a twitter account dedicated to analyzing the spray painted words on the wall she pisses on in the music video for the man to try and figure out the order of her next album releases, so don’t worry. i’m perfectly normal.” he laughed shrilly.

steve shuffled for something behind him. “i didn’t want to have to do this,” steve enunciated, holding up a picture of you. “we found your shrine and the pictures you’ve photoshopped yourself into and we know that you’ve deluded yourself into thinking that you have a relationship with her and we’re just worried, okay? look, i also enjoy her songs every once in a while, but this is too far. we can’t have an avenger with compromised judgement out on the field.”

peter’s mouth gaped and he stared at the picture steve had chosen, feeling himself blush. that was the picture you’d asked him for his opinion on it before posting it on instagram. and that was the night you’d sent him a voice memo of a song you’d written for him, in which you’d told him how you’d loved him for the first time.

“uh, come again?” peter’s voice turned up at the end in his confusion, but the other avengers took it as a sign that he was lying.

“okay, this is enough. we’re taking him to cho for an evaluation,” tony snapped, taking peter by the arm and dragging him down the hallway.

“hey- hey! wait! i’m not delusional, just let me-” peter scrambled for his phone, trying to pull out pictures of you and him together as proof, but he dropped it amidst the chaos of tony’s fussing and nat and bruce’s hushed whispering, and the exclamations of surprise in this unplanned step of the intervention.

peter watched as his phone clattered to the ground and he reached his free hand out for it cinematically, but it was to no avail. that stuff never worked in the movies either.

“jarvis!” peter yelled desperately.

“yes, young spiderling?” jarvis replied. tony must’ve reprogrammed eyerbody’s name in jarvis’ system.

“play voice memo! uh, the most recent one!”

“playing voice memo: this is peter with trial four- ahhhh! no, not that one!” crashing noises and a string of curses from a voice in the background that made steve flinch ensued. “oh my god, mr. stark’s going to kill me if he every finds out-”

“stop! no! jarvis, um, play the second most recent voice memo!”

peter looked at the ground to avoid tony’s withering glare. “we will be discussing this later,” tony warned.

“playing voice memo.” through tony’s newly installed surround sound speakers, your silvery voice reverberated around the high-ceilinged walls and silenced the other avengers’ jabbers.

“my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again, these are the words i held back as i was leaving too soon—i was enchanted to meet you.”

sam’s mouth dropped. “what the fuck? i didn’t peter say he learned to code on scratch? how did he work out this voice generator thing?”

bucky’s face contorted into the cute stupid expression he made every time he was confused. “relax, the kid probably recorded a live performance on the you-bee-too to feed into his whole hormonal teenage crisis fantasy.”

peter was outraged and opened his mouth to protest. steve cut him off. “kid, young people at your age will go through… ahem… changes. and perhaps that has manifested into a romantic yearning towards this lovely young woman, or uh,” steve blushed. “the desire to… fondue is very common as you develop into a man, and i myself-” steve choked and started coughing to avoid spilling any dangerous blackmail material. bucky patted his friend on the back knowingly.

“hey horndogs,” tony yelled from the front of the crowd, where he was still struggling to drag peter. “can someone turn off the damn music? i don’t want to know what the kid gets up to in his free time, like, at all. especially not in song form.”

“will you all stop calling me kid?” peter begged, finally freeing himself from tony’s *iron* hold. “look, that song’s unreleased, so i couldn’t have just recorded it off youtube. plus, tony already banned me from working with voice AIs after i accidentally broke karen and she wouldn’t stop screaming for like, six days straight.”

natasha raised her eyebrows, but nodded. “and we know the boy isn’t smart enough to come up with those lyrics on his own.”

“hey!” peter defended. “no, actually, yeah. you’re right.”

“what does this have to do with anything?” sam interrupted, throwing his hands in the air. “i personally find it creepier that he got access to the girl’s unreleased music. and don’t even get me started on the shrine-”

“she’s not some girl, she’s my girlfriend!” peter blurted.

steve scoffed. “sure she is. gorgeous, talented, multi-millionare singer-songwriter from brooklyn, mind you, is your girlfriend? what’s next, bucky and sam’s bickering is actually unresolved sexual tension?”

“yes?!” peter hissed incredulously. “you’re just jealous,” he huffed,” and don’t even lie, mr. captain rogers sir. i heard you crying to this is me trying last week. which, by the way, are you okay? anyways, yes, we’re dating. 

“i didn’t ‘photoshop’ the pictures, i- how would i even-? it’s not like there’s conveniently a picture of her in a photo booth holding up a green prop mustache that i can edit myself into. my ‘shrine?’ she sends me previews of her merch and stuff, i’m not gonna throw it out. it’s not like i’m collecting strands of her hair to replicate her dna. we literally just call each other,” peter huffed.

“we call each other, and- and she teaches me to play guitar… she writes songs for me… she has the sweetest cats… and she’s so beautiful and i can’t believe she’s mine…” peter rambled on with glazed eyes and a dopey smile on his face.

steve scowled. 

wanda sighed dreamily. “i can tell how much you like her… your thoughts are so bright every time you think about her…”

“excuse me?” peter raised his eyebrows defensively. “were you… reading my mind?”

“there are no secrets in this tower, underoo.” tony slung a heavy arm over peter. “what’s yours is ours.”

peter squinted. “i’m pretty sure that’s not how the saying- whatever.”

“secrets? please, we all remember when you tried to hide your baby photos. the vents were a stupid idea.” natasha snorted. “anyways, when do we get to meet her?”

“meet who?” peter lied innocently. if the avengers had been this zealous over a couple pictures of her, god knows what they’d do if they ever saw her in person? (and god knows what steve would do.)

“doesn’t matter. play dumb all you want kid, but we both know you’re smarter than that.” tony chattered absentmindedly, but peter went red at the casual compliment. “i saw the tour dates already; peter left ‘em in his room. second to last concert’s in new york, two weeks from now. i’ll pull a couple strings; easy.”

tony took off his yellow-tinted glasses and cleaned the lenses on his shirt. “right. jarvis, cancel all plans for the saturday two weeks from now. and reschedule that dry cleaners appointment to… uh, tuesday. gotta wash the merch before wearing it. oh yeah, and set a reminder for… tonight at 9, to shop for merch.”

tony looked smugly down at peter, who blinked a few times, dazed. “uh, thank you, i guess? thank you, mr. stark.”

in the two weeks leading up to the concert, peter was hearing your voice all over the compound. steve had officially indoctrinated bucky and sam into fans after he’d showed them his favorite album, and now the three of them would frequently squabble over which songs were the best lyrically, melodically, and emotionally. 

peter had seen wanda comforting a crying clint, who’d been listening to all too well on repeat for three days straight. (peter wasn’t sure why. clint was happily married.)

he nearly had a heart attack when natasha cornered him murderously with a perfectly manicured finger pointed threateningly at his chest. (right then, peter tried to come to terms with the fact that in his eulogy, they would reveal that he had died from a fingernail impaling.) it turned out that natasha had come to interrogate peter on how he’d met you, confessing that she wanted girl tips. natasha had also sworn to make his death long and painful if he ever told anybody about it.

what delighted peter the most is when he’d heard tony listening to one of your songs in lieu of his hard metal while working in his lab. and he swore he’d tony humming one of your songs while making breakfast a few days before the concert.

peter didn’t think it was possible, but his high was only multiplied once your merch arrived. it was like a second civil war had broken out. tony had made sure to order multiple of each item, but overlooked the fact that all the avengers wanted the limited edition concert tour t-shirt and an autographed copy of your newest album. he watched from the sidelines as grown adults threw hissy fits over themed notebooks and guitar picks (even though none of them played guitar), knowing he was already supplied thanks to your gifts.

even may, mj, and ned had gotten into the spirit. they’d surprised him one evening, after a tiring mission, by showing him the short video you’d sent them along with 3 vip tickets.

“hi aunt may,” you smiled lovingly at the camera. “thank you so much for… everything, i guess. for raising peter. and letting him see me; i know that it’s not easy or typical, but peter’s job isn’t easy or typical either. i love your son so, so dearly, and i just wanted to let you know that i’d do almost anything for him—whatever his job entails and whatnot. i’ve been on tour, so haven’t seen peter in a while, but i would love to see him again and maybe meet you and peter’s friends as well, which is why i’ve sent you three tickets.”

may cooed and told peter what an angel you were, and ned and mj teased him relentlessly for how stupidly in love he looked when he saw your face in the video.

“you’re down bad, man,” ned laughed, pushing peter’s chest. mj punched peter’s arm, telling him he was “one lucky bastard,” and peter’s only reaction was to whine about how they were manhandling him.

the night before the concert, peter was panicking about what to wear. though tony had been the most annoying about peter’s relationship, he’d come to check on his mentee and tony’s heart panged as he saw the anxiety radiating off of peter.

“what’s wrong, spiderboy?” tony sat on the edge of peter’s bed as the boy examined himself in the mirror. tony patted the space beside him.

“n-nothing, mr. stark.”

tony looked at peter disbelievingly.

peter sighed. “i’m just- she’s a superstar, like, she’s got fans and front-page modeling contracts and everyone loves her. sometimes i just don’t believe that she’d actually love me, y’know? ‘cause she’s her, and i’m just peter. some kid from queens who got bitten by a spider.” peter looked at his feet, eyes burning. “i’m not rich, or famous, or popular—i still get picked on by flash!” 

peter looked up at tony with red-rimmed eyes. “and i’m not like all the fancy celebrities that she’s around—she could have anyone. anyone. i’m pretty sure janelle monáe talked about her in an interview once. janelle. monáe. a-and jojo siwa danced to her music in a tiktok. and i can’t even tell you how many men say they have crushes on her in interviews and stuff… it’s like, i’m never there. we’re both busy, and she’s surrounded by people who are way cooler and smarter and famous-er than me, and it freaks me out, mr. stark.”

tony’s cool demeanor broke upon seeing how genuinely devastated peter was. “underoo, this girl wrote a song for you. hell, i think the most romantic thing i’ve done for pepper recently was eating lunch with her. jarvis? remind me to do something romantic for pepper. she talks to you almost every day, and trust me, i know, because we can hear you jabbering from the common room.

“kid, you work for me. that makes you pretty damn cool. you went to space—even though i said not to, but whatever—and you’re spiderboy. i passed by a street vendor selling knockoff spiderman masks the other day. people love you too. the team loves you. and i guess i think you’re pretty okay too. the girl loves you, spidey. jojo siwa has nothin’ on you.”

peter sniffed. “you really think so?”

“yeah, yeah. don’t push it.” tony went to leave peter’s room, but not before pointing to peter’s closet and winking. “it’s a secret.”

he opened the closet doors, shuffling through a couple of shirts you'd left behind and one of your cardigans. it was the same as always. but in his peripherally, peter caught sight of one of tony’s $200 smarthangers beholding the last limited edition tour shirt that had “mysteriously” gone missing. (bucky and sam were accusing each other for days.) he ran his hands over the cotton fabric, which was softer than he’d expected. tony must’ve dry-cleaned it for him beforehand. peter smiled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

peter fiddled with the hem of his shirt the entire ride to the venue. happy picked him, may, ned, and mj up in the limo a bit earlier than the rest of the team was planning on leaving so they could get settled into their vip seats.

the venue was smaller than he’d expected. you’d played in much larger spaces before, with huge audiences and grand stages with special effects, but tonight was almost intimate. peter’s heart was beating until he felt it in his throat and may squeezed his hand reassuringly. he’d heard you sing on facetime, or in the videos you’d sent to him, but never live. he thought he might’ve been more scared than you were.

as the venue filled, peter’s anxiety only increased. mj and ned were bubbling happily, and peter caught the avengers waving to him from a section just a bit further from the stage. he was secretly grateful that they weren’t up front with him. maybe it was selfish, but he wanted you to himself tonight.

when the lights dimmed and ambient music begin filling the air, peter watched as you slowly rose from a platform under the stage until you were fully revealed, holding a sleek black guitar, beaming so brightly that peter was pretty sure you wouldn’t need the stage lights.

the cheering of the crowd was dull in his ears. he was mesmerized by the way you moved, adjusting the vintage microphone in front of you. it was only you on stage, illuminated by a spotlight, standing in front of your microphone like you were at home on a stage in front of hundreds of people.

you needed no introduction before you began singing a song that peter hadn’t heard before. 

vintage tee, brand new phone. high heels on cobblestones. when you are young they assume you know nothing…

it was your first date. peter had exchanged his science pun shirts for an old band tee, and you’d complimented him immediately, revealing that you were also a fan. you’d dropped and cracked your phone on the sidewalk that night, stumbling over a bump in the concrete and falling into peter. you’d made a stupid joke, “it looks like i’ve fallen for you,” and peter had laughed like you were the funniest person in the world.

but i knew you, dancing in your levi’s, drunk under a streetlight, i… i knew you, hand under my sweatshirt, baby kiss it better, i… and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite.

it was the night you’d first kissed. it had started raining, both of your socks were all wet, and the sweatshirt peter had given you to wear after you’d gotten cold was soaked through. you’d pasted your hands under his shirt onto his chest, claiming you needed warmth. he did the same. 

to kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed… you drew stars around my scars but now i’m bleedin’... 

it was you and him, trying not to be seen. you and him, avoiding cameras and crowds—hiding behind tinted car windows and hole-in-the-wall restaurants. it was you and him: when he took you swinging right before you left to tour and you scraped your knees from the rough landing. you and him: peter kissing your cuts and apologizing profusely about giving you scars right before your concert. you and him, when you’d pulled him into your chest and told him you’d sacrifice anything to be under the stars with him.

‘cause i knew you, steppin’ on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain, i… i knew you, tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy, i… 

you and him: when he’d hugged you goodbye in a quiet corner at the train station and wiped away your tears from under your sunglasses. you and him: when peter watched as the spiderman bandaids on your knees that he’d given you last night as you bled walked further and further away. you and him: when he’d called you and cried after a difficult mission, telling you how he thought he might have not made it and how the thought of losing you—his darling—was what kept him going. you and him: how you’d wanted to cancel your tour and see him again, but how he insisted that you keep going, that the both of you kept going.

i knew i’d curse you for the longest time, chasin’ shadows in the grocery line;  i knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired, and you’d be standin’ in my front porch light… 

you and him: how you’d fought halfway through your tour, when he didn’t understand why you didn’t want to go public with your relationship. you and him: how you’d gone grocery shopping with him but dropped his hand and left as soon as cameras appeared. you and him: how he’d told you that the secrecy of the relationship might be thrilling for you, but was hurting him. you and him: how he’d promised that no matter how difficult your relationship got, you’d always have a home at his and may’s apartment.

and i knew you’d come back to me, and you’d come back to me… and you’d come back… 

next to peter, ned and mj hollered excitedly and jumped up and down; may screamed and clapped. peter hadn’t budged, staring up at you with awe and pride as your strumming faded out. he would’ve been content staring at you, glowing as you immersed in your element, until ned elbowed him.

you tapped the microphone a couple of times and the stage lights began to reveal the landscape behind you; a small band, a few background singers, and a simple, natural scene.

you cleared your throat. “thank you, new york!”

peter had never heard a sound sweeter than your giggle as you watched the audience cheer and wave their glowsticks.

“thank you! this is the second to last concert of my tour, and it’s been such a privilege to play for you. you guys are the first to hear my new single, cardigan, that i wrote while on tour.”

there was more screaming and your eyes scanned the audience for something that you evidently hadn’t found, given the nearly imperceptible frown on your face.

“uh, this song is really important to me, ‘cause it’s about someone i really love. i haven’t seen him in a while, and god, i miss him, and i hope he knows that i’d always come back to him…” you sniffled, and the audience cooed.

 “y’know, sometimes you have those moments when you’re paralyzed or when you’re scared, so you keep trying to live in the past, where things are easy and you already know how everything ends. but if you take the easy route, trying to protect yourself from the unknown, you end up losing what could’ve been. all the new moments that you’ll never get to have because you’re too busy living in old memories. ‘cause when you stay behin, the people you love might want to move forward, take risks, and explore even better things. so you might lose them.”

your eyes searched the audience once more. “and i’ve learned so much from being on tour with you all. it’s very- if you don’t know, everything that goes on behind the scenes in the music industry is very… intentional. every word, action, public appearence—it’s all planned. but i met this boy; or rather, i fell in love with this boy, and he makes me want to say, ‘fuck the plans.’” the audience roared and you laughed jubiantly alongside them. 

“i don’t know if i’m allowed to swear, actually. it’s fine,” you admitted. “anyways, he makes me want to take chances, even if that terrifies me. ‘cause honestly, it did; still does. i hope he’s here today. i can’t see him from here, but his name is peter. peter parker.”

there were cheers and murmurs, and peter heard heard thor somewhere in the back roar, “the spi- the small man is here!” thor pointed vigorously to the front, where peter was standing and blushing profusely. there was a bit of sweat beading on his forehead, and sure, the body heat from the crowd was pretty hot, but the fire in his cheeks had nothing to do with that.

peter watched as you walked towards the edge of the stage to where thor was pointing, shouting back at him with a quick banter that the audience seemed to love. peter cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, praying you could hear it from amidst the crowd, because he couldn’t even hear himself.

your eyes widened and you burst into a grin as you locked eyes with peter. “oh my god, is it- peter?”

peter nodded, face contorting into surprise and then adoration and then determination as the both of you rushed forward to try and touch each other. you fell to your knees and reached your hand out to peter, and he took is tightly between both of his. you mouthed his name so that nobody but him could see it, and under the harsh stage lights, peter could clearly see the watery tears collecting at the corner of your eyes that you carefully dabbed away as to not smudge any of your makeup.

“peter—this is peter, my boyfriend!” you announced to the crowd, holding his hand up. “is there any way you can come up-” you looked around for stairs.

peter smirked, slinging himself onto the stage with ease. he’d scaled buildings before. this was no challenge, especially because he had an incentive to work towards.

“oh, you’re just climbing- that works too!” you offered him your hands to pull him to his feet and enveloped him into a hug. you’d left him a bottle of your perfume before you’d left, but nothing could compare to actually holding you in your arms. you smelled like sweat and hairspray, but he could still catch hints of your perfume and the shampoo you loved.

when you let go of him, still keeping one of your hands in his, peter snuck a glance at the audience. from the stage, the venue seemed twice as large. he could see may, mj, and ned waving and screaming at him, and a bit further back, he could see thor waving his hands maniacally and tony, who had somehow managed to clear out a spot, actually smiling.

“what am i supposed to do?” peter hissed to you, smiling awkwardly at the audience as his heart pounded. fighting robot-alien-ancient-powerful-gods was so much easier than this.

“kiss me?” you whispered, eyes glittering. peter didn’t need to be told twice.

“so i’m peter? and you’re wendy darling?”

“mhm,” you sighed, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.

“i’ll never lose you, darling. i’ll always come back to you.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

peter parker masterlist | main masterlist

taglist: (comment to be added)

@bambamwolf87 @yourallihave @im-a-slut-for-fluff

bonus:

flash’s fanfiction

the midtown group chat reacts to your relationship

[kalolasfantasyworld]

Okay, ask game for you ☘️ Nozel x Vanessa, because I love them 💜 Nozel x Helena, because your OC ship is amazing ❤️ Nozel x Fuegoleon, because Nozel ship 😅 Yes, a bunch of Nozel ships 🥰🦅

Hi Vilandel!

Hah obviously I have some more specific thoughts for Nozel ships. I really hope I won't make anyone upset with these. They're just my opinions.

Nozel x Vanessa -> doesn’t make sense, compels me

Let’s start with saying this is my favourite canon x canon ship for Nozel. I’ve drawn them and read them, but let me explain why it doesn’t canonically make sense to me. 

Before I set up tumblr I didn’t even think to ship them together, because they never really interacted (correct me if I’m wrong). I only got to like them once I saw them here and read a bit about them. However it’s hard for me to picture the start of their interaction without some outside force to literally make them. Also long term relationship… but let me get to that later.

Firstly their types based on the assorted questions brigade:

Nozel: “Someone with dignified strength who can give their all for the prosperity of the House of Silva” 

I don’t think he’s saying this “just to be proper”. Nozel really cares about his house and I think that a quality of being able to take care of and represent it can make a person attractive in his eyes. 

I’m not saying that Vanessa couldn’t just that it would not really be her style. She got out of her cage and pushing her onto Royal customs would be cruel in my opinion. She could definitely not walk around in her underwear, or casually get drunk. She likes this part of herself and is happy being a Black Bull.

Vanessa: “Wild men with muscles <3” 

Yeah… That’s not Nozel (I admit I have drawn him with way more muscles than he has… It’s a hot art I’m not going to change it and yes a future Paper Hearts illustration, normally I draw him skinnier)

Why does it compel me? (Because it does a lot)

They are both one of my favourites BC characters.

Nozel is not a good boy (closeted perv let’s face it) and Vanessa is definitely up for some heated adventure. Both are very hot. She’s flirty, she’ll pull him out of his shell. They could support one another and emotionally I think they would work well. I enjoy them in fics and the stories are amazing. I love how she would flirt with him and he would get more and more bold as they grew closer. Also there is that spicy forbidden romance part.

There are actually quite a few similarities between Vanessa and Helena as they’re best friends and I enjoy how those qualities shine through her interactions with Nozel. 

I see Nozessa so much in a heated, passionate romance. It’s just long term that doesn’t sit right with me… I feel like they would need to sacrifice a part of themselves to be with the other and I wouldn’t want that. She needs to be free and Nozel is a Royal who takes pride in it, it’s not just his burden. 

Nozel x Helena -> makes sense, compels me (you said it yourself, how could own OC ship not)

Overall I talked a bit about them in my fic explanation post.

I created Helena to explore Nozel more. This is actually my first ever OC x canon ship that I've invested in, because I'm more of a canon x canon shipper. Just that I only knew of Dorothy x Nozel and Fuego x Nozel back then and they didn't really appeal to me as something to write for and have a fun story for.

Why do they make sense? 

Despite them being so different there are actually quite a few parallels between them. For example both had a situation in their youth, which somehow set them on a path. They’re both the eldest siblings. And there are few more.

Similar backgrounds for sure. Both of them are Royals and take pride in their houses. Helena will be a great lady of the house. She was prepared for this and knows how to perfectly manoeuvre in high society. She can be a great support and simply a partner to him in his duties. 

She’s his type from the assorted questions brigade. (yeah the pervy part as well xd)

Helena brings in the warmth and will provide a family atmosphere. Being the eldest of seven siblings taught her that. She “fits” in the Silva family with Noelle, Nebra and Solid. Over time she develops relationships with all of them, so it’s not just Nozel she makes sense with.

Why does it compel me?

Enemies to friends to lovers, Sunshine x grumpy, Blue x red relationship

They have so many imperfections and they mess up, but they get up and try to fix them. There's also quite a lot of plot ahead of us and I don't want to spoil anything, but what happens later is actually more determining in my opinion to how they are fit for and grow with one another.

There are also some parallels with how Nozel treated Noelle and how he treats Helena, so that’s interesting. 

Helena is a virgin, but very much not opposed to sexuality, so they have some spicy, heated moments.

I feel like they can really connect on a deeper level and I like how their story begins right with the beginning of BC. We see the whole development of Nozel and how they interact through it. For example how their relationship changed after Fuego fell in a coma. So it's not just Nozel after he went through a change and apologised to Noelle.

They compliment each other. Helena “makes Nozel have fun” and he can tone her down (this is needed at times).

The birdies… I love my next gen trio so much. I like how they have traits inherited after both Nozel and Helena. I love picturing them as parents.

I feel like there’s more, but I’ve talked about them enough here. 

Nozel x Fuegoleon -> makes sense, doesn’t greatly compel me

As you probably noticed I focus a lot on the “Royal aspects” in the makes sense part and Fuego fits this part. They are close, clearly trust each other and they have amazing dynamics. They’re childhood friends. I’ve seen some cute arts for them and I know they’re pretty popular.

However why it doesn’t greatly compel me? (Besides the fact that I ship both of them with some OCs)

I just think of them as good friends, more than lovers. And somehow I’m not the biggest fan of how Nozel is portrayed in this relationship. He somehow seems “weak” and “needs to be taken care off”. Maybe that’s just me, but it was the vibe I got from few works (not all of them, some were cute and amazing). Maybe I somehow don’t see him have “bottom” energy, but Fuego doesn’t have it either. 

However they would support and care for one another. I also love the hot and cold dynamics and childhood friends romance.

So I like some aspects of this ship and some don’t. 

I would still put it as my second canon x canon Nozel ship.