#she reads truth bible

[fightinglikeaman]

Isaiah 30:21

[deeisace]

Micah? Really liked grapes??

[valent1neg0d]

THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I WAS GETTING STARTED WITH THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION (AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN MANIFESTING FOR 5 YEARS)

1. the law of assumption is personal. considering how we have different sets of experiences, different environments, different upbringings, and even different languages, we have different assumptions.

because of this, we are affected by teachings and success stories differently. it's important to note this since a lot of manifestation coaches will teach you about the law in a way that worked for them (and the others they may have taught) but it's possible that their advice (even my own) may not be the best for you. even abdullah and neville goddard, two of the people who are known to start this discipline, may have ancient or varied belief systems and techniques. this is normal considering the world they lived in before is different from the world we live in now.

although, you should still read on abdullah and neville because they will teach you the basics and they will help you understand the foundations of the law.

as an example, you might manifest your dream career faster with simple affirmation techniques but a coach may have taught you to focus on visualization techniques.

even the idea that "dominant THOUGHTS manifest" or "what you BELIEVE in manifests" is entirely up to you.

note: notice how i said "may not be the best for you" instead of "may not work for you". any technique can, does, and will work.

how i learned this: when i was learning about the law, i mainly focused on neville's teachings because he was one of the most prominent figures in the practice. and though i liked his practical techniques (especially mental diet and inner conversations), there were some beliefs that i do not agree with e.g. divine timing, appointed hour, avoiding "does not" "is not" "will not".

when i was going through sammy ingrams' takes, she said that it's better to have concise affirmations/short list (non-verbatim) than a long list of 25+ affirmations. but going through affirmations without being specific about them doesn't personally resonate with me and that's just because i'm a detail-oriented person (also a writer).

what i can advise:

learn about different approaches

a. through scientific concepts. e.g. quantum physics, reticular activating system, cognitive reframing, cognitive behavioral therapy, the psychology of placebo effect, the psychology of affirmations, Baader-Meinhof phenomenon (a.k.a. the psychology of self-fulfilling prophecy)

b. through religious and/or spiritual concepts. e.g. passages from the Bible, passages from the Quran, deity work, spells and rituals

c. through self-development. e.g. identity-based habit

start the practice with an identity you like in the present or an identity that you resonate with (learning style, talents, interests, etc.)

examples:

-visual learner = vision boards

-loves writing = scripting

-words of affection love language = affirmations

take teachings with a grain of salt. do not limit yourself and do not allow other people to limit you. experiment with concepts, ideas, and techniques, and have fun with them.

2. techniques are only reminders. you are manifesting either by thinking, feeling, or acting out your desires. you are manifesting every second of the day either with your thoughts, emotions, or by embodying a state. you are only being intentional when you anchor techniques.

note: it is true that your dominant thoughts manifest. it is also true that what you believe in manifests, the same way that your inner knowing manifests. BUT these ideas are meant to empower you. they are meant to remind you that manifestation is as easy as thinking, feeling, acting, believing, understanding, deciding, etc. if an idea doesn't feel good to you, it doesn't have to be an ultimate truth you embrace and carry on with. this is the same with techniques.

what i can advise:

choose one technique and practice it for 7 to 21 days. it can be mental diet, affirmation tapes, sats, mind movies, etc. as long as you can persist with it. give it time. give it time. give it time. in other aspects of the world, you give change some time. when you're calcium deficient and you decide to drink calcium supplements, you realize that it's counterproductive to ask "why am i still calcium deficient?" as soon as you start your regimen because you know your body is changing with the supplement and you put your trust into it. after all, why would you choose a supplement you have no faith on? you just give it time.

note: you can still manifest changes to be instant. you can affirm "i am seeing results now", "results come immediately", "my manifestation is quick". the amount of time you're using a technique does not equate to the amount of time your results will come.

the reason why i encourage you to practice for maximum 21 days is so you can fully explore and master the technique you chose. with the abundance of topics and methods discussed in social media, switching and trying new things is tempting. now, there is nothing wrong with this. it's just that, you wouldn't be able to take a step back and reflect on what worked and what takes more effort when you change techniques every so often.

try a technique that is popularized in the media. a lot of the times, the reason why this technique gained traction is either because it's simple or because it has worked for a lot of people. now, here's the thing: if said technique wasn't for you, at least you can say "oh this is a tiktok/twitter/youtube/old/beginner technique, there are other techniques out there" and you can try another technique with less resistance. but, if it did work, then it did. congratulations.

you can invent your own. here are some techniques that i invented throughout the years.

a. "name is set and solid with the fact that..." - works amazing for sp, getting people to commit, getting people to pursue you

b. "okay! manifestation powers go brrr!" - funny but i do this when I'm spiraling; it also helps me surrender doubts and i think it's because it's so simple and unserious lmao

you can combine them. for example, you want to do sats but you cannot hold a vision for long, what you can do is montage photos or videos that is similar to the vision you want to manifest. you can also have affirmation tapes running in the background.

3. "concept" work can be such a banger. assumptions are basically the conception about the world, about yourself, about the people around you. hence, when you manifest and apply the law of assumption, you change or reinforce a conception.

these can be done through:

self-concept

what it is: your awareness about yourself; the way you perceive yourself.

how you can apply it: there are multiple ways to establish your self-concept but the best way, is to start reinforcing the universal truth: that you are inherently worthy. you deserve money and resources because you are worthy. you deserve love because you are worthy. you deserve ease because you are worthy.

other ways to grow your self-concept is celebrating the identities you have within yourself that you like e.g. that you are strong, you are disciplined, you are beautiful. be careful about strongly tying yourself into these identities though because these are not the reasons why you shall receive. again, you shall receive because you are inherently worthy.

why it works: by having a strong self-concept, you develop ease. you are less likely to rationalize or question the law or why you deserve the things you're asking for. and as you may think, rationalizing may be a form of resistance. questioning may be a form of resistance.

one of the ways i have seen this is when people receive incentives from work, instead of just receiving or saying "thank you", they say things like "what have i done to receive this?", sometimes completely rejecting this gift because of fear that they might lose something when they receive. this can be an example of a weak self-concept. consequently, the company starts questioning "did my employer really do enough to receive this?".

on the other hand, someone with a strong self-concept can take this incentive and buy the things they like because they know they deserve it. they can also take this incentive and say to themselves "oh it's because i worked hard these past few days". it's the knowing and confidence they have within themselves that everything around them has no other option but to recognize.

conception of other things (e.g. of love, of money, of a specific person)

you can work on your conception of other things the same way you work on your self-concept: choosing a narrative that is uplifting to you.

in case you have resistance to a specific object, you can also listen to people's success stories to start shifting to a more positive and desirable perception. one of the ways i do this is by going back to abdullah and neville's story. these two men lived at difficult times, through difficult eras, yet they manifested their desires. they managed to let go of the 3D.

4. practice some distance as you're starting. you were exposed to a different life before the law, it's only normal and human to have doubts or spiral once in a while. however, when you set distance on things that do not help you embody the state, you set distance on things that will feed your doubts and spiraling.

for example, if you're shifting to a state of wealth and you're affirming "i have 1,000 dollars". it's unhelpful and opposing to be constantly surrounded by someone else saying "you only have 10 dollars".

now, i do understand that not everyone can do this right away because of circumstances. but PLEASE do whatever you can to set this distance. find a voice to reinstate your truth.

a personal story, i am an asian girl living with a grandmother who was pessimistic about love because her two children (my mom and my aunt) struggled with it. because of this, she used to constantly remind me of how love is difficult. i didn't know this at the time, but this created a set of beliefs in my head. consequently, as a teenager, i only seeked and allowed love which was difficult because that was all i've ever known. that was all my assumption.

but around the pandemic, i went back to the countryside with my dad where i had a lot of time on my own. this was when i got deep into new-age spirituality and did shadow work. from here, i realized: this is not my assumption about love. before my parents broke up, my assumption was that love is easy. you only have to make the other person laugh. when i was busy in school and would spend most of the time at my friend's house, my assumption was that love is support and light. i started to get these epiphanies that a lot of my pessimistic perception was because of someone i was constantly surrounded with and that i have to build new assumptions.

but around august 2020, i have to go back to the city with my grandmom. i was afraid of the toll i might get into when i got back. however, because i already practiced distance and understood what are the assumptions that serve me, what are the assumptions that i want, i was more at peace. i listed down affirmations about myself, about love, about money, about being "deserving".

after this, every time she told me what love was, i can stop her and say no. i can tell her that it's not the universal truth, and certainly not mine. along the way, i started manifesting that she believes love is easy and supportive. i started manifesting that she believes i deserve love that is soft and tender.

then, when i got into my relationship, she was nothing but happy and supportive.

other ways i have practiced distance while manifesting:

unfollowing content creators who normalized hating men.

unfollowing content creators who were shady and negative about relationships.

unfriending highschool guy friends who do not make me feel safe about men.

unfriending relatives who make unnecessary comments about my looks, my studies, my relationship, and my earnings.

unfollowing girls who made me feel bad about also liking girls.

unfollowing manifestation gurus who romanticize struggles because "the more you struggle, the more you get blessed"

unfollowing manifestation gurus who say stuff like "if you want money, you have to take action to deserve it. not just manifesting"

now, you can totally manifest these people to change and be better, as long as it will make you feel good.

that's all i can share today (since this post is already getting long). i hope you learned a thing or two. thank you so much for reading. i love you and i appreciate you !

xo

[rainintheevening]

It's Edmund who figures it out first, you know, who Aslan is. Like, a week after they're back in England, they go with the Professor to the little village church, and they stand and sing Amazing Grace, and the rector preaches something about Jesus dying for sinners, and Edmund is nailed to the pew with utter certainty: That's Aslan.

He doesn't say it directly to anybody, he has to chew it over, has to test it and try it, and see if it holds true. He and the Professor have many lively discussions about what Narnia actually is, what it's for, what other worlds would mean for science or philosophy or theology. But every time he goes back to the Bible and reads it, he finds echoes of Narnia, echoes of the Lion's voice, and the truth settles into him, becomes something solid and certain deep down inside.

Peter... sees the possibility almost as quickly. He's not so sure of it though, is a bit shy of something so incredible, doesn't want to get it wrong. He wants it to be true. He thinks about it a lot. But he doesn’t say any of it aloud, until he says to Aslan, at the end of his last trip to Narnia. It gets decided then, in there somewhere. He doesn't understand how or why, but he will believe anyway.

Lucy, now, Lucy always knew in a way that was beyond words, unconsciously, deep inside somewhere she never stopped to examine. She stands in Eustace's room, with Aslan’s words ringing in her ears, and it's like a light bulb has come on, or a bucket of cold water has been dumped over her head. Oh. Oh, that's what he meant, oh, now I understand.

And Susan, dear Susan, she suspects, she wonders, but no. Impossible. Too strange, too illogical. Waves it away like a nagging fly. But she figures it out years later, not too late, no sir, not too late at all. Maybe it's a book, maybe it's a song, maybe it's retelling the Easter story to a little girl curled up in her lap. Maybe it's an old poem pulled from the wreckage of a train. She pauses, startled, before the tears come tumbling down, and she murmurs the name she hasn't spoken in what feels like a lifetime, murmus it like a prayer: Aslan.

Jesus.

[fictionadventurer]

For all the talk about bad Christian fiction, I've seen several different ways that Christianity can be well-integrated into the story.

The story is about something unrelated to Christianity, but the characters are Christian and their faith affects their outlook and daily life. I recently stumbled across Wormwood Abbey by Christina Baehr, which is a light, fairly forgettable cozy fantasy that happens to do this really well. The story is about a woman who learns that dragons exist around her family's estate, but as the daughter of a rector, she often mentions prayer, sings religious songs, or thinks of Bible verses that relate to things she experiences. The Christianity feels organic to the character, and thus enhances the story rather than distracting from it.

The world is a Christian world where Christian beliefs are shown to be the correct framework through which to view the world. This happens in good Christian fantasy, like Lewis and Tolkien, but there are plenty of real-world stories where the themes line up with Christian truths, and this can make a story Christian whether or not religion is explicitly practiced by characters within the story.

The characters wrestle with how to apply their faith in their daily lives. Regina Doman's Fairy Tale Novels often feature this, as the characters struggle to deal with plot problems while living out their faith. Amy Lynn Green's work often features this as well--characters hold certain values (like, for instance, a Quaker pacifist) and have to figure out how they apply or don't apply to specific situations, especially when they conflict with other values, or they have to figure out how to live out their values (such as forgiveness) in moments where it seems impossible or even ill-advised. Charlotte Yonge's best works (specifically, what I've read of The Three Brides) do this as well--instead of preaching the one right answer, you have characters trying to figure out what the best answer is as they figure out what's right or wrong in this specific situation.

Characters face the revelation that there's a spiritual world that exists beyond our ordinary world, which can cause terror, but also provide comfort and hope. Elizabeth Goudge's novels often exist in this space, with very internal stories of characters coming to embrace the truths that come with living in a spiritual world. To a lesser extent, I'd say Amanda Dykes' work often fits here, with characters ultimately find comfort and hope from philosophies that line up with Christian truth. In less-cozy works, there's also the possibility of stories where an entirely secular person encounters God and has to figure out what that means for their life.

So our options are Christianity as character, Christianity as setting, Christianity as theme, or Christianity as plot. The ways this is integrated most seamlessly is when Christianity (or the ways they struggle with it) is a vital part of the character, so the plot that arises from it lines up with a Christian worldview. It also works well for the characters to just exist within a world where Christian truths are the way the world works. It doesn't even necessarily require the characters to be explicitly religious. Truth is something that everyone is searching for, and stories that honestly showcase truth or the search for it are going to resonate with a wide audience, even if they aren't Christian themselves.

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort

AN: Source for tarot reading

Transcript under the cut

Morgan: Ever done this before?

Nancy: Can’t say that I have.

Morgan: Are you as put off about this as that other bible thumper?

Nancy: [rolls eyes] We’re not all the same. I’m more than my faith.

Morgan: I don’t doubt that. I’m sure there’s many layers to you. Where are you from?

Nancy: Brindleton Bay.

Morgan: Really, I’m from Portridge, a small town south of the Bay. Originally.

Nancy: Yeah? So, how did you end up a Fyres?

Morgan: Great question. My mom was his secretary. Super scandalous shit, which would explain while the Royal Barbie hates my guts. He’s not a bad step dad though. Hell of lot better than my actual dad. So, your parents-

Nancy: Isn’t the probing developing a bias or something?

Morgan: Just a little small talk. So, is there a question you want answered? Perhaps, a question about your past, your present or your future?

Nancy: I-

Nancy Narrates: [I want to get forget my past. I want to survive my present. I want to escape my future. Could there really be an answer for all that in those cards]

Nancy: I don’t know...

Morgan: That’s ok. You intention will guide us.

Morgan: Pick three cards that call to you. Based on the three, we will see what the cards have to say about your past, present and future.

Nancy: And you believe in this?

Morgan: We believe what we believe in, right? You have your three?

Nancy: I think so..

Morgan: Let’s take a look.

Morgan: Your past—the Upright Fool. Innocence. Curorsity. Something new and exciting—perhaps a first love in your youth that swept you off your feet?

Nancy Narrates: [Already I hated this...]

Morgan: Your present- the Reversed Star. Insecurity. Self doubt. A loss of faith. Interesting. Perhaps a struggle with one’s own faith? Are you having any doubts, Nancy? About yourself? About your God?

Morgan: Your future- the Upright Devil. Lust. Obsession. Temptation. Could be for the material things of life, or maybe a desire of the flesh.

Nancy: [clears throat] That all seems incredibly vague.

Morgan: [grins] Does it? Your poker face could use some work. Let me ask you something. Who exactly did I remind you of? Someone from your past?

Morgan: Your silence is very telling. I have a real gift for reading people.

Nancy: I’m sure you believe you do.

Morgan: [laughs] I really do!

Morgan: Tightly wound, fidgeter. You bite the hell out of your nails, right at the skin on the tips of your fingers, unconsciously. You pick at it until it bleeds. It’s the only thing that’s keeping you tethered to your own body. The pain, that is.

Morgan: Right?

Geoffrey: You made it! And making friends! Sorry, am I interrupting girl talk?

Morgan: It’s cool, boy wonder. Want me to do your reading?

Geoffrey: Are you kidding? Of course I do!

Nancy: Actually, I think I want to g-

Geoffrey: Really quick, Nance, then I’ll walk you to your dorm!

Geoffrey: Upright Death for my future sounds kind of scary when you think about it, huh? She said it could mean profound change. Sounds promising.

Nancy: [tsks] That could mean literally anything. That whole practice strives on vagueness. You can never be wrong if you’re bound to be right.

Geoffrey: Yeah, but it’s about how you perceive it, right? It’s unique. She did yours, didn’t she? What did yours say?

Nancy: Yeah, I um, don’t remember.

Geoffrey: Maybe you can ask her again. You two seem to hit it off.

Nancy: [huffs] Please. I am not going back to that shabby bar. She’s a sham. Those cards mean nothing. It’s stupid.

Geoffrey: [sighs]

Nancy: What?

Geoffrey: [blows raspberries]

Nancy Narrates: [Truth was, I was more curious than anything]

Nancy: So. Those cards. Could they...I don’t know- tell me something that could happen in a week? Like if I asked if I’ll pass my Statistics exam?

Nancy Narrates: [I was completely captivated by this otherworldly experience, whether I’d admit it outloud or not]

Nancy Narrates: [and Morgan was always happy to indulge me]

Nancy: [whispers] So I past my exam. How does this even work? I mean, how could they know? The cards. Could you do another reading after the debate?

Nancy Narrates: [But of all the questions I did ask, there was one that burned inside me more]

[heavy metal spills into the hallway]

Morgan: [startled] Nancy?

Nancy: Is this a bad time? I know it’s late...I can come back another time. I just have so much on my mind and I can’t sleep.

Morgan: You want another reading?

Nancy: Is that ok?

Morgan: Of course it is, Nancy. Come in.

Morgan: Sorry for all the smoke. I can open a window.

Knox: Babe, who’s this? It’s not my birthday.

Morgan: [smirks] Want me to get rid of him? I can.

Knox: Hey! I’ll be quiet! Won’t even know I’m here.

Nancy: I don’t mind. I just had a question.

Nancy: Could you do a reading for someone else, even if they’re not here?

Morgan: [hums] Not really...not without their permission or their intention. Who is this person to you?

Nancy: [looks away] Someone from my past. Someone I need to forget but- I can’t.

Morgan: Did this person hurt you?

Nancy: [shakes head] If anything, I hurt them. I ruined them with my... [lowly] um, perversions. I just need to know if they’re ok. If they hate me for it.

Morgan: [softly] I see... Here’s what we’ll do. Just like before, I’ll do a three card spread.

Morgan: Set your intention. Clear your mind. Ask your question. The first card is ‘you’. The middle card is ‘them’. The third card is the relationship.

Nancy Narrates: [‘Vanessa, do you hate me?’ ‘Do you blame me?’ ‘Do you regret loving me?’ ‘Do you know that I never stopped loving you?’]

Nancy Narrates: [‘Do you know that I’m sorry?’ ‘Do you know that I miss you?’ ‘Do you know that I need you?’]

Morgan: [exhales] It says... that you are a filled with love, Nancy, even though the world around you wants to drain you of it. There’s just too much of it inside of you and your friend-

Nancy: [weakly] Vanessa.

Morgan: [smiles] Vanessa. She loves you all the same. She may be experiencing her own hurt in this world, but having loved you keeps her strong. You two brought something bright and beautiful into each other’s lives.

Morgan: You can’t rid her from your life, because she’s apart of you, and...I- I think that’s a love worth fighting for, Nancy.

Nancy: [between gulps] Right. Right, thank you. Thanks, Morgan.

Morgan: Wait, Nancy, you don’t have to leave. It’s ok-

Nancy: It’s fine. I uh- I should go.

[door clicks shut]

Knox: Uhh, did you just make all that up?

Morgan: [weakly] I don’t know why I did that..

[lovestay-channie]

Hugs - Seungmin

Pairing: Seungmin x fem!reader

Genre: fluff with a lil angst

Summary: y/n is feeling touch starved, and feeling the need of some comfort. all she wants is a hug.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warning: reader feels sad, in need of comfort, reader has a crush on Seungmin,

Sometimes there are days where you just need a hug, but you don’t want to ask because it’s weird. Right? Who asks for hugs unless you need comfort, meeting someone after a long time, or saying goodbye. You can’t just ask for a hug.

Sure, maybe you did need some comfort, but someone just holding you for a moment in time sounded refreshing.

Who could you even ask to give you a hug? You thought about it for a while. The thought kept creeping back into your mind every now and then for a week. It was like your heart and soul was crying for a touch of love.

Seungmin, your best friend and secret crush, was over for a movie night. He is quite an observant person. Sometimes he could read you like an open book. It a few glances to tell how you really feel. There have been many moments in your friendship where he could tell you were in an uncomfortable situation, and he tagged along with you so you weren’t alone. He was truly remarkable.

Your eyes were laser focused into the movie, but your mind was completely elsewhere. You didn’t even notice that Seungmin was watching you half the time trying to read your mind. He was convinced something was wrong. Normally, when watching a movie, your feet are propped up on his thighs, yet instead your legs are tucked underneath you with your arms wrapped around them. You were completely on your side of the couch and not in his space.

Next thing you know, the movie is paused. You snap your head towards Seungmin, “Why did you pause?”

You didn’t expect his whole body to be facing you sitting criss cross. He had the remote still pointed to the TV. You could see his eyes examining your whole body. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do you need something?”

“Yes.”

You didn’t think he was going to answer so suddenly. You hesitate before speaking, “Okaaay? What do you need?”

“Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” Seungmin asks while scooting closer to you, making you lean back.

“I’m sorry, but what the hell are you talking about?”

“I need you to promise.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you won’t tell the truth if I don’t pressure you.”

You scoff at his reasoning. He wasn’t lying, but you hated that he was right. He wasn’t trying to be pushy, but he was trying to tell you he knows something is wrong. You don’t talk about yourself. You don’t let people in because it means they can sneak into your heart. However, Seungmin sneaked in a long time ago without even trying.

“Do you need me to grab a bible or something?” you joke.

Seungmin holds up his pinky. He is one to hold pinky promises sacred. It was a special thing between the two of you. “Pinky promise me.”

You sigh deeply knowing that there was no way out of this. You shortly stare at his long pinky thinking of a way to divert his attention to something else, but Seungmin isn’t stupid. Far from it. You glance up into his eyes. They were stern yet soft. He was trying to be careful.

You adjust to criss cross as well and raise your pinky to interlock with his. “Fine. What is it?”

“What’s wrong?”

Your grip on Seungmin’s pinky tightens. All of your senses are heightened. You didn’t realize that your knees were touching his. Or how your leggings were hugging your thighs. Or how tight your ponytail was. For some reason, his question caught you off guard.

“Why?” you ask

“Just answer the question. Something's off. I can smell it,” he sniffs.

He was trying to lighten the mood with a joke. Something you admire about him.

You loosen your grip and bring your hands down between the two of you, pinkies still intertwined.

Your mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to figure out how to explain your feelings. Every way you think you can explain it, it sounds dumb in your brain. It sounds unbelievable. You have to be over reacting. Why is your brain thinking this way? Why can’t you just get over it and move on?

“Hey!” Seungmin’s voice break you out of your thoughts. “Come back to the real world please.”

You let out a breathy chuckle, “Sorry. I just… I don’t know how to explain it very well.”

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders while unhooking your pinky from his. “Try me.”

You already missed his soft touch. You knew you were incredibly touch starved to where holding pinkies made you feel safe. You so badly wanted to reach out for his hand again, but instead, you tuck your hands into your hoodie pockets.

“Do you promise not to judge me?” you question.

Seungmin gently rolled his eyes “When have I ever judged you?” You cocked your head to the side and eyes hooded as he replied to his own question. “Don’t answer that.”

You slightly smirked at his comment. You stare at the space between the two of you for a moment before gaining the courage to speak your mind. “Do… do you ever feel like you just need a hug sometimes?”

You looked up into his puppy like eyes, his head tilted slightly. You couldn’t exactly read his reaction. He looked confused, but he looked like his eyes were filled with admiration. An odd combination.

“I know you don’t like skinship, but past that, do you ever just want someone to hold you?” you explain deeper.

The silence grows between the two of you. All you could hear was your own heart beating out of your chest. The heat grew on your already rosy cheeks.  This was a mistake. He may be your best friend, but being vulnerable with him, or in general, has always been difficult.

“You know what,” you lightly chuckle in embarrassment. “Never mind! It sounds silly anyways. I don’t know even what I’m talking abo-“

Arms are suddenly secured around your shoulders, bringing you to a bony shoulder. The smell of sandalwood and musk surround you just like the arms holding you tight. You could feel Seungmin’s breath on your neck. He was so close to you. Sure, you have hugged before, but this was different. This was a hug full of love. You didn’t realize you were frozen until you felt soft fingers caressing your spine. You slowly take your hands out of your hoodie and wrap your arms around Seungmin’s waist, gripping on to him while relaxing into his body at the same time.

“Needing comfort is never silly, Y/N,” Seungmin whispers.

You bury your head into the crook of his neck from his statement. You could almost feel tears brew in your eyes, but you close your eyes to keep them from falling. Seungmin leaves a sweet, tender kiss on your temple before resting his head onto yours. He starts swaying you back and forth.

The hug lasts for what feels like forever. You could get used to this feeling, Seungmin holding you. It was nice to have someone hold you. Someone to rest upon. The world felt a little lighter, just for a moment.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Seungmin breaks the silence.

You pull away from his grasp to look up at him. He still has his arms around you, afraid to let you go. He scans your face to make sure you are okay. He takes a piece of hair that fell out of your ponytail and tucks it behind your ear. It made your heart swoon. “It’s just been tough lately. That’s all really. I’ve felt stuck. I feel like I’m not enough. Just… the same things over and over again,” you explain.

Seungmin knew well of your struggles and insecurities. Trying to do college and work can be difficult sometimes. On top of that, trying to have a healthy social life and schedule can be hectic. This is the first movie night in 3 weeks because of both busy schedules. Seungmin has been preparing for a comeback while you were in the midst of midterms. Finally having this break was nice, but it came with the overwhelming leftover feelings.

“I’m sorry,” Seungmin frowns, resting his forehead on your shoulder while his hands move to around your waist.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Min,” you reassure. Your arms adjust to wrap around his shoulders. One hand finds its ways into his soft, silky hair.

Seungmin shakes his head, “Yes I do. You were there for me all last week while you were swamped with exams, yet I didn’t do anything for you. I was so blind in rehearsals and recording sessions that I didn’t see you were struggling.”

“Oh, Min. It’s okay.”

“No, Y/N. It’s not.” Seungmin lifts his head. His face is only several inches away from your face. His eyes dart back and forth from your eyes. “You helping me was a cry for help. Taking time out of your busy week to comfort me was enough to show that you were also struggling. No sane person goes out of their way when they have too much on their plate.”

‘Well, it helps that I’m basically in love with you’ you think.

You have always been a person who helps others before yourself, especially when it comes to helping Seungmin.

“It’s honestly okay. You are here right now. That’s what matters,” you smile, patting his head.

“What can I do for you right now?” he asks.

“How about you just keep holding me? I think that will help me a lot,” you answer.

Seungmin smiles, “I can do that.”

You adjust your position to both of you lying on the couch. Seungmin’s head rests on the arm of the couch with a pillow raising it up slightly. He pulls you on top of him, legs intertwining together. Your head lies on his chest, hearing his heartbeat. Seungmin grabs the remote to continue playing the movie.

“Thank you, Min,” you whisper in his ear.

He tilts his head down to glance at you before pressing his lips to your forehead, “Anytime. I’m always here for you.”

[chosetherose]

The Albatross tells us that Karlie has sacrificed for Taylor during their complicated love story. Now, it’s Taylor’s turn.

I’ve spent weeks working on analysis of this beautifully complex song, slowly sifting through its layers. Part of what is so intriguing to me is that if you listen at the surface level, you might think Taylor is talking about the same “wise men” and “albatross” characters throughout. But I believe she switches around who she is talking about.

In summary, I believe The Albatross begins with pressure on Taylor to continue closeting in order to preserve her career. As the pressure intensifies, Karlie agrees to sacrifice her reputation because for whatever reason this seems like the only way forward. Ultimately, Taylor decides it’s her turn to rescue Karlie, she will swoop in to restore Karlie’s reputation so the devil that you know looks now more like an *angel*.

Here is an overview of what I’ll be exploring in my post.

[Verse 1]

Wise men once said

"Wild winds are death to the candle"

A rose by any other name is a scandal

Cautions issued, he stood

Shooting the messengers

They tried to warn him about her

I picture the “wise men” in this verse as voices that have told her being open about her sexuality would create a media storm that her career could not survive; it would extinguish the fragile flame of her celebrity. More specifically, this could be referencing that the “wise men” felt glass closeting with Karlie was getting too loud since their chemistry is too strong to hide. 

Notably, I think in this verse the “he” Taylor is referring to is herself. So, “cautions issued” acknowledges that Taylor heard the message. But she stood there shooting the messengers because what a bullshit world we live in if being truthful about who you love means taking a hit to your career. 

The last line sums up the verse; the “wise men” tried to warn Taylor about getting too loud with Karlie. But they pissed off Taylor, who let her anger be known. Ultimately, these men failed to put a stop to this relationship that was stirring up attention. 

[I didn’t touch the rose line in this version because @bettyshoweduptotheparty did it so beautifully here.]

[Chorus 1]

Cross your thoughtless heart

Only liquor anoints you

She's the albatross

She is here to destroy you

This first chorus has the least information to go off. I loosely picture this as Taylor sharing with Karlie, perhaps over cheap ass screw top rose, that her team or others in the industry issued cautions about how their relationship could hurt Taylor’s career. This spurred Karlie into protection mode because no one will tear them apart. 

Something to think about is the religious imagery here. Crossing your heart is a religious reference. Anointment is a religious term. Taylor has continuously weaved religious references into her work. That doesn’t make total sense for a heterosexual person but tracks for a gay woman who spent a portion of her adolescence in the Bible Belt around the turn of the century. I also think there could be some PR strategy here too: if she decides to come out one day people will listen back and pick up on the religious references as relating to how Taylor feels about her sexuality. It’s lower hanging fruit compared to some of the layers she’s created but it’s easier to digest.

[Verse 2]

Wise men once said

"One bad seed kills the garden"

"One less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen"

Locked me up in towers

But I'd visit in your dreams

And they tried to warn you about me

This verse reads to me that since issuing cautions didn’t work, the “wise men” moved on to more forceful tactics. 

But first let’s discuss how the garden imagery in this verse (which I love) is an additional metaphor for fame. Think about how much work it takes to cultivate a garden that produces beautiful, showy flowers. It starts with seeds and requires intensive intervention to grow and thrive: soil must be fertilized, growth must be pruned, weeds must be plucked, etc. The reward of all this hard work is gorgeous blooms admired by all. It’s similar to fame. Taylor planted seeds when she was a young musician singing about teardrops on her guitar. Over time she has cultivated a lavish garden. Her team helps her prune it (PR, merch, touring, etc.) and we all cherish the beauty produced. 

The “wise men” are saying one bad seed, like a dandelion that flies into your yard, can spread and choke out the flowers you’ve so carefully grown. It only takes one event to ruin everything. [Don’t forget if these “wise men” are on her team they have financial interest in keeping the garden flourishing.] Because of this, the “wise men” want Taylor’s female love interest out of the picture. If she’s out of the picture, they won’t have to (metaphorically) kill her.

After trying to justify their actions, the “wise men” locked Taylor in towers. They made it feel impossible for Taylor to be with Karlie. This was difficult for Taylor, who feels locked up, and also for Karlie who dreams about being with Taylor.

The last line “and they tried to warn you about me” fits with the ending of the first verse in the theme of - this love cannot be stopped. And affirms my thought that the “wise men” tried to keep Taylor and Karlie apart. First, they tried to issue cautions to Taylor. When that didn’t work, they approached the lover, “It only takes one instance of being too loud to ruin Taylor’s career, why don’t you see yourself out so we can put away these daggers we have at your throats.” But love prevailed and Taylor and Karlie remained together.

[Chorus 2]

Cross your thoughtless heart

Only liquor anoints you

She's the albatross

She is here to destroy you

Devils that you know

Raise worse hell than a stranger

She's the death you chose

You're in terrible danger

I think the Albatross here is Taylor, who ultimately agreed to publicly distance herself from Karlie due to the pressures of the “wise men”. This wasn’t necessarily a decision either Taylor or Karlie were happy about, but it was agreed to.

The albatross (Taylor) is here to destroy you (Karlie’s reputation). The devils that you know raises worse hell than a stranger because even those Taylor’s fans will be sending hate Karlie’s way, that hurt is nothing compared to the pain of knowing that Taylor handed them their pitchforks. 

She (Taylor) is the death you (Karlie) chose. Karlie agreed to stay with Taylor, who consistently paints herself as someone who is dangerous to love. Now the inevitable is coming true and Karlie’s public image will be marred. 

[Bridge]

And when that sky rains fire on you

And you're persona non grata

I'll tell you how I've been there too

And that none of it matters

Taylor and Karlie know their plans require Karlie’s reputation to be destroyed. Taylor feels she can’t stop it from happening and it’s hurting her. All she can do is think about what she will say to comfort Karlie when that day comes. Taylor will say she’s been through this before (think KimYe saga) and knows the public heat doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Taylor and Karlie have each other and that’s what’s important.

Note: the saying “to rain fire and brimstone” is biblically rooted and means “to inflict great suffering or destruction on someone or something.” 

[Verse 3]

Wise men once read fake news

And they believed it

Jackals raised their hackles

You couldn't conceive it

You were sleeping soundly

When they dragged you from your bed

And I tried to warn you about them

This whole third verse, in my opinion, is how Trump winning the 2016 election totally snuck up on Karlie. She didn’t expect it would happen but it did and it made a complicated situation even messier. This happened despite Taylor’s warnings about Karlie’s bearding connection to the Kushner family.

Breaking it down, here we meet a new group of “wise men.” We know “fake news” is synonymous with Trump so let’s explore that angle for this verse. Taylor is saying the Americans who voted Trump into office were fed lies and didn’t question them. They were too blind to see what a poor choice it was for our country and for democracy. Democrats felt like a Trump presidency would never happen; the country would surely vote blue to save the day. (I too felt like like this and was in total shock on election night, wore black on inauguration day, etc. but I digress). 

The line “jackals raised their hackles” switches focus from the electorate to the political wolves coming for power. I’m excluding the definitions of these words to save space but I take it as: jackals are wolf like canines, hackles are hairs on a mammal’s back that can raise when trying to show dominance over subordinate animals. This line is about the political bad guys picking on the American people; especially vulnerable populations such as women, minorities, and the LGTBQIA+ community.

Karlie couldn’t believe these jackals, who she was publicly connected to, could win the election. She was sleeping soundly when she was dragged into it because ignorance is bliss --she thought it would never happen. 

[Chorus 3]

So I crossed my thoughtless heart

Spread my wings like a parachute

I'm the albatross

I swept in at the rescue

The devil that you know

Looks now more like an angel

I'm the life you chose

And all this terrible danger

Now Taylor felt the love of her life needed rescuing from this completely tangled wild public mess. So without a thought, she spread her wings like a parachute to rescue Karlie. I want to emphasize that the meaning of the “thoughtless heart” line here is different than previous mentions. Now, the thoughtlessness comes from not caring about the repercussions of your actions. You care so much about the endgame - rescuing your love - that you don’t give a damn about the scars you’ll pick up on the way.

So Taylor “swept in at the rescue” and the next lines detail what that rescue looks like. She sings “the devil that you know looks now more like an angel”. I can’t scream this loud enough she’s saying Karlie’s reputation will be restored. I’d guess by design, many of Taylor’s fans despise Karlie. We established that was the plan earlier in the song. But after Taylor swoops in at the rescue, in the next stage of Kaylor’s PR plan, everything changes. These fans that despise Karlie will soften to her yet again. The devil looks more like an angel. Specifically, a Victoria’s Secret angel -- that wording is not accidental.

“I’m the life you chose” sounds like talk to a spouse. Karlie knew signing up for a lifetime with Taylor would mean danger. Taylor’s repeated that topic throughout her discography - who could ever jump in the fishbowl with me, who would sign up for this life? Karlie did. Now Taylor is getting her chance to save her love.

[Outro]

So cross your thoughtless heart

She's the albatross

She is here to destroy you

I think this outro could be directed at the fans Taylor would lose if she ever comes out one day. Here, Taylor uses the type of “thoughtless” that means “lacking concern for others”. The fans who would abandon her have cold inconsiderate hearts. So they better watch out because Taylor is the albatross here and she is going to destroy those fans’ attachment to her by living her truth - or some version of it. 

***

I feel like I do a relatively good job at keeping my clowning to a minimum but give me this one. Taylor, if you enjoy reading our lyric analyses around here can you please play The Albatross again sometime before the end of the tour? Bonus points if you wear the pink dress.

[blorger]

yes, hello, I would like the record to show that when Harry and Draco meet at Madame Malkin's and Harry is reminded strongly of Dudley Draco hasn't done anything that is particularly vile, he's just

been blond (technically "pale", we can't yet make the Dudley to Draco connection via hair color)

talked about having two involved parents

I direct the jury to this exchange:

Draco is just behaving like a kid, even if he uses the world "bully" ( he's clearly using it hyperbolically) and drawls (the Malfoy Special, if you will). This is not exactly villain foreshadowing 101.

Something could be said for how Draco's words suggest a power dynamic wherein he's in control of his parents, like Harry views Dudley and the Dursleys's relationship, but also... Draco is a child making boastful remarks to another child, one would expect exaggeration as par for the course.

I fail to see any signs of Great Evil; Draco's phrasing may have triggered feelings of inadequacy and maybe also envy, (Harry wants a family most of all as per the mirror of erised) but also, Harry has presumably been going to school and has met plenty of parented children, this can't be a new situation.

What I'm saying is that jkr is doing a bit of a tell don't show, she is giving us the key with which we are to interpret every one of Draco and Harry's interactions from this moment on but kind of falls flat in the execution.

What I (and others beside me) read in their following interaction is just two people not understanding eachother. One boy feels confused, insecure and out of his depth and the other one doesn't know this is happening. Draco is trying to make a good impression on a schoolmate by saying any and all impressive things he can think of, not knowing that by repeating his father's greatest hits he's inadvertently alienating Harry.

In conclusion, your honor, I posit to you that upon their meeting Harry immediately feels strongly about Draco but, in his inexperience (and lack of emotional development see: cupboard), he is unable to identify the origin of said strong feelings and attributes them to dislike (the Dudley Connection). Thus a scene meant to highlight their incompatibility ends up foreshadowing Harry and Draco's unusual bond instead.

tldr: drarry is a great ship, jkr is an idiot savant who managed to write the greatest enemies to lovers storyline of all time without meaning to and also I know I'm reaching but I've decided this is the bible truth since truth is what you make of it.

[katakaluptastrophy]

"I’ve already pretty much revealed that Alecto begins with the descent of Christ into Hades." - Tamsyn Muir

That's right...it's time for more Bible study for fans of weird queer necromancers!

It's currently Holy Week, the week where Western liturgical Christians reenact the events of Jesus' death and resurrection in real time. And today, it's Holy Saturday. So Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday. He rises from the dead on Easter Sunday. But what happened in between? His body lay in the tomb...but his spirit was otherwise preoccupied. Because on Holy Saturday, Jesus went to Hell.

But why would Jesus go to Hell? Because the resurrection was not just about saving the people who came after it - it was a bit more...wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.

To be a bit more specific, he didn't visit Hell Hell. The place Jesus visited isn't Hell in the sense of eternal punishment of the damned, but Hades or Sheol or the Underworld or Limbo - a place for those who were mostly good but lived before Jesus' resurrection had made salvation possible. So before his resurrection, Jesus went to make that salvation retroactive. Particularly, according to tradition, to major figures from the Old Testament, including Adam and Eve.

So Nona the Ninth ended with Harrow walking off into the River in search of theological truth. And Alecto the Ninth apparently begins with Harrow in Hell:

Alecto the Ninth, ACT ONE HARROW IN HELL CHAPTER 1 At a point in the slit she was carving through life, Harrowhark Nonagesimus woke to find herself lost in a dark wound. She had been walking when it had all gone black– any path ahead or behind was blotted out; now she was here.  - Tamsyn Muir reading at TorCon

This is riffing heavily on the beginning of Dante's Inferno:

"In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost." - Dante Alighieri, Inferno

But lots of people go to Hell. What's so special about Harrow going there? Because the traditional name in English for Jesus' chthonic salvation adventures on Holy Saturday is "the Harrowing of Hell." "Harrow" comes from an Old English word meaning to attack or despoil - a very martial way of expressing the idea of Jesus as the victor over sin and death.

Harrow ended NTN realising that she cannot trust John's account of metaphysics. That she needs to discover the reality for herself. The faith of the Nine Houses and John's own styling as god rests on the foundation of the Resurrection - John is the "ransomer of death, scourge of death, vindicator of death", his power is understood to be absolute: "Let the whole of everywhere entrust themselves to him. Let those across the river pledge beyond the tomb to the adept divine."

And yet even that prayer - "let those across the river..." - introduces doubt. Magnus jumps in to silence Abigail when she expresses her heretical belief in the River beyond, and Harrow herself scoffs that "it has been thousands of years since anybody bothered to believe in the River beyond." Abigail believes that John knows nothing about what exists beyond the River. And what about Hell? In HTN, Ulysses the First is described as "languishing in Hell" after his run-in with a Resurrection Beast. John himself describes the stoma as "the mouth to Hell", "a portal to a place I cannot touch - somewhere I don't fully comprehend, where my power and my authority are utterly meaningless."

In the Book of Revelation - the Bible's account of the end of the world - Jesus holds "the keys of death and Hell". John may have resurrected the dead, but he does not comprehend what is beyond it. Both the destination of the good, the River beyond to which the souls of little Isaac and Jean should have traveled lightly after their short and brutal lives, and the Hell that lies beneath the stoma are outside of his power. He is a few keys short of the full divine bunch. He can manipulate death, but he is not really its master.

And so Harrow walks off into the River to look for something or someone she can call god. Harrow, who shares a name with the defeat of death across time and space. Harrow, who is of the unbroken line of Anastasia. Anastasia was kind to Alecto, who like Eve is the mother of all and like Adam walked on the empty earth with god.

In Orthodox icons, the Harrowing of Hell is depicted with Jesus triumphant, leading Adam and Eve by the hand from their tombs. The traditional term for this image is an anastasis, the Greek term for resurrection. Adam and Eve, whose sin broke the intended shape of reality, are restored to wholeness with god.

How will Harrow answer her questions about god? What really is beyond the stoma and what would it mean to conquer it? What does it look like, metaphysically, to restore the world of The Locked Tomb to wholeness, and what will it cost?

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but how has your opinion changed on Steven Universe now than when it first aired? Like I have fond memories of watching the show while it was airing but now I realize that it had a lot of problems that I feel like a lot of fans either flat out ignore or bend over backwards to make sure their rose tinted glasses stay on.

... okay, fair question. Let's talk about this.

I'll try not to wax poetic too long, but there are a lot of things to be said here.

First and foremost - how has my opinion changed since the show has ended?

Simply put - it hasn't.

When I started watching Steven Universe over 7 years ago, I didn't have much knowledge of it. I sat down, saw a few of episodes and went 'well, this is a silly show for kids with a goofy but loveable protagonist... but it seems like it's also incredibly charming with its delivery and has some nice, more complex themes about loss and healing and grief throughout.'

And if you ask me what Steven Universe is now... I would probably say that exact same thing.

Am I wearing rose tinted lenses? Interesting question.

What ARE 'rose tinted lenses' in this context anyway?

What do these lenses represent? What do they obscure?

Since you didn't go into specifics, I can only assume what you're referring to when you say that many fans ignore the show's problems.

There have been many discussions surrounding various aspects of the show and how it might be read as 'problematic' (ahhh how I've come to despise that word.... without context, it has all the descriptive power of the word 'icky' - none of the critical details and all of the emotional punch of scrunching up your face like a cat that just sniffed a lemon...)

Is this about something as simple as the 'SU doesn't have a consistent size for its characters' debate?

Because that has been gone back to, over and over again, and proven to be a point of opinion. SU favored allowing storyboarders to show off their personal flourish, and even though Peridot was 30% hair in that one episode, it did not overall take away from the plotline being told, which was their goal. If you wanted to watch a show with consistent styling throughout, you can always watch a 3D modeled show, but keeping that up was simply never one of SU's main pillars. And I feel like it didn't have to be.

Is this about something more complex such as the way Rose was presented?

...and how her arc was shown backwards instead of forwards - showing first the person she became in the end, and afterwards revealing all the growth she had to have to get there?

That was on purpose! And I don't think this is a problem. It's a feature, not a bug. Rose was never meant to be an ideal character - she was meant to be complicated and messy, and I think the fact that the fandom is so split in their opinions of her shows that the Crewniverse pulled that off really well!

She fucked over Bismuth! She forced Pearl to be silent! Those are both parts of her character arc that were never resolved because she died before she could resolve it - that's BY DESIGN. Sometimes, you just do something absolutely stupid and cruel, and you cannot go back to fix it.

Is this about the Diamonds? The fact that they were not put in space jail, after being put on trial for space crimes, and then publicly executed for space eco-genocide?

Here's the thing - most people I know who watched and loved SU are fully aware of that. But simply put - Steven Universe was not a story about Revenge.

Steven Universe was a story about love. A story about family. A story about truth, and lies, and hurt, and healing. About how sometimes healing doesn't happen. And how sometimes it will, but you won't be around to see it.

But it's not a story that can be all things for all people.

That is the thesis of my reply: It is a story.

It is not a manifesto. It is not a bible. It is not a Complete Truth.

It is a single story. Made by a group of very talented people, who cared about these characters, who did their best. They made a funny, emotional, well-drawn and complex cartoon show about the things THEY personally wanted to tell stories about.

Does it answer all questions the way everyone wants them answered? No. That's impossible.

Everyone wants a different story. Everyone wants a different solution, a different resolution. A different ending.

Steven Universe is one story. It cannot satisfy all people.

So when you ask me 'has your opinion of Steven Universe changed'? The answer is 'no'.

I went in, expecting to see a story. I saw a lot of what I liked! I saw some parts which I thought were interesting. I saw some parts which, yes, I disagreed with a little.

But overall, it's a good story. And that's what I expected, and that's what I got, which means I'm pretty satisfied. I love that story.

I feel like recently, there's this expectation of media, to be Everything For All People. And it's a bit unrealistic. No one call tell the perfect story. We are all simply telling the stories we want to tell. And people will vibe with that, more or less.

A single story, made by a small group of people, will never be that for you. There will never be an Unproblematic Cartoon that you watch that will be devoid of things you disagree with.

Being critical of media doesn't mean 'Criticize the FUCK outta that media, and the one with the least criticisms is the best one'.

Critical thinking is about evaluating things critically - that means being critical of YOURSELF. Being critical of your OWN reactions. Asking 'why did I like this?' and 'why did I dislike this?'. Asking 'this doesn't mesh with me, but who WOULD it mesh with? It isn't for me, but who is it for? Who would it hurt, but also who would it help?'

Some people HATED how SU: Future ended. They beat their fists on the wall and cried about how Steven was leaving his family behind, and how THEY could never imagine doing something like that, and how he was running away from his problems just like Rose had.

Me? I loved it. I think it was the right choice, and I COULD imagine it and thought it was in character. I thought he needed to be his own person, instead of shouldering everyone else's responsibilities for once. Was one of us more right than the other? Maybe not? Maybe that was the whole point?

Loving things is not about putting on rose colored glasses. Sometimes, choosing to love something with flaws is an act of rebellion. It's about knowing you have differences, but understanding that there is value in the things you DO agree on, and knowing you can consume that.

Healthy consumption of media does not mean throwing the whole cartoon away as soon as you notice something is wrong with it, like a bruise on an apple.

Healthy consumption of media involves critical thinking AND feeding yourself. Acknowledging you may disagree with parts of it, but not starving yourself just because your apples all have small imperfections.

Eat, for fuck's sake. Feed yourself. You'll feel better.

Thassit.

[faberown]

IS ADAM A MISOGYNIST?

Answer: NO. And this should be obvious to anyone with some brain.

But let's try to give more explanations. First of all, let's start outside from the show, and answer a more important question:

IS ADAM A MISOGYNIST IN THE BIBLE?

Well, no. Actually, Adam in the Bible is one of the characters that respect and love women the most, which is ironic considering the time when such things were written (let's remember that until less than 200 years ago women were considering PROPERTY of the men). But then, why is Adam considered a misogynist today? Well, because a problem that unfortunately has afflicted us for a long time: people forget that the mentality of people when the myths were written was very different from today, and what means one thing for us at the time meant another. But unfortunately people don't understand this concept, because it is much easier to read and interpret in a literal way, or rather, in a way that conforms to their own thoughts, so as to justify their beliefs.

Let's take for example another famous myth, that of Hades and Persephone. Many modern interpretations see it as a kidnapping, but the truth is that Hades never kidnapped Persephone: before picking her up, in fact, he had asked permission from Zeus, her father (and also his brother... who was the brother of Demeter, the mother of Persephone... so he married the daughter of his brother that was born from an incest between his brother and his sister... yes, the Greek gods were the embodiment of Sweet Home Alabama). Only after Zeus had given him permission to marry Persephone had Hades gone to get her, because again, daughters at the time were PROPERTY of the male parent; not CUSTODY, just PROPERTY. The mother and daughter had no right to say anything. So, in fact, a kidnapping never existed: Hades simply went to take what belonged to him. Not only that, but Hades behaved in an unusual manner for the time: instead of immediately taking advantage of Persephone as was his right, once in the Underworld he courted her and treated her with extreme respect. He has never cheated on her and has always sincerely loved her (they are literally the ONLY healthy couple in Greek myth), and he himself even proposed the deal to Demeter when he realized that she sincerely wanted to spend time on the surface being the goddess of spring.

See? If we don't base ourselves on a literal interpretation of the myth but rather integrate it with the culture and mentality of the time, suddenly what seemed like an act of violence becomes one of the most beautiful couples in all of Greek mythology, which in fact they were. Now, let's try to apply the same reasoning with Adam, Lilith and Eve.

First let's make one thing clear: Lilith DOESN'T exist in the Bible, so here, to avoid too much confusion, we will simply talk about sacred texts, but that doesn't change much since they were written in very close times. Now, was Adam a bad husband for Lilith? Obviously not. That is a modern feminist literal interpretation of the myth, because they wanted to find at all costs a way to criticize religion and patriarchy (and no, I'm not mad at feminists, I'm simply mad at all those who misinterpret something just to justify their beliefs). In this myth, as we well know, Adam and Lilith had to have sex and she didn't want to be under him, and he replied that she always had to be under him. The problem? Again, the mentality of the time was different. To begin with, the idea of ​​the time was that "sacred" sex, and therefore the only sex allowed in Eden given that it was an earthly Paradise, was only that aimed at procreation; and to procreate, according to the mentality of the time (a mentality that has persisted until very recent times), the only right position was that of a missionary, otherwise the child wouldn't be born (in fact the prostitutes stayed on top not to risk getting pregnant). Is this false? Of course, but for the mentality of the time it was absolute reality. So what Adam is saying to Lilith is not "You must be submissive to me, slave woman you must obey me patriarchy blah blah blah", but rather "sorry, but I can't magically change the position of our organs, if we want to have sex we have to do it this way, so just accept it". Basically, it is as if today a woman wanted to get pregnant by only having oral sex, and after her boyfriend points out that it is impossible she accuses him of being misogynistic: who would you side with? So no, Adam never tried to impose himself on Lilith, Lilith was simply a bitch who wanted to do everything as she wanted and thought she could go against even her own nature. And considering what she did AFTER she escaped from Eden, it's very clear how out of her mind she was; I won't go into detail, just know that she has a long history of cannibalism, rape and pedophilia.

Let's talk about Eve now; again, the idea that she was subservient to Adam arises from a modern feminist misinterpretation. Eve was created from Adam's rib to be "more docile", but then again, "docile" thousands of years ago didn't mean "submissive" at all. "Docile" was considered synonymous with "affectionate, loving, faithful, gentle", and did not take into account submission to the master or anything like that, which in fact had another name. Eve was therefore not created from Adam's rib to be his servant, but rather because in this way they would both complete each other and love each other in the purest and deepest way (the classic saying "I love her as if she were a part of me") . It is, in a certain sense, a variant of a Greek myth that saw all people once united, only to be divided by the gods, and therefore destined to seek their other half through love. In fact, Adam and Eve were a united couple and loved each other madly, to the point that Adam, in many variants of the Bible and even in more modern works such as Milton's Paradise Lost, eats the forbidden fruit because he doesn't want to separate from Eve (which places him, by symbolism, in a heroic way but also as a worse sinner than her, given that he chooses mortality and desire instead of divine grace). In some other versions, even, God doesn't free them together but places them in different places on Earth, so that, after the initial quarrel due to the forbidden fruit, they understand how much they need each other and seek each other, and then reunite in love and begin humanity.

Alright, and with that, we're done with the "accurate biblically story" part. Personally, I was very disappointed that Viv didn't use the real version but limited herself to choosing the extremely wrong modern feminist one, given that I think the original one is much more interesting. But now, let's go further and move on to the second big question:

IS ADAM A MISOGYNIST IN HAZBIN HOTEL?

Hazbin Hotel clearly presents many differences with the sacred texts, to the point of creating a mythology more in its own right than being a reflection of the real one; consequently, let's try to look at it without taking into account what actually happened in the Bible. But even in this case, if we exclude the story described in Charlie's book (which has so many holes that it is impossible not to consider it false, especially considering it was written by those who are described as revolutionary heroes, something never confirmed by any other character of the series), then Adam is not a misogynist at all. Let's analyze his character: all his best soldiers are women and he never shows any doubt that they would know how to do what, since time immemorial, has been considered a man's job; his right hand is a woman and he allows her to speak back on him and even boss him around sometimes; his boss is a woman and even when they disagree he still respects her authority; and the list is still long. The only times he seems to despise women is when he talks to Vaggie, but it is clear that in that moment he is despising her more than women, since she is a traitor and an enemy. Haven't you ever seen a movie where the villain takes advantage of the situation to make fun of the hero, behaving in a way he didn't behave with his henchmen or allies? Well, this is basically the same. Should we consider him misogynistic because when he talks to Charlie he makes silly jokes and pranks and proudly talks about his experiences? I expect such behavior from a slightly rude person, certainly not from a misogynist. Based on this logic, Alastor (who slaps Vaggie on the ass in the pilot) and Lucifer (who objectifies Eve and Lilith by talking about them as if they were trophies during the battle) are misogynists too. It's just a ridiculous thought.

In particular there is a scene in which I want to focus to demonstrate his total absence of misogyny, namely the moment in episode 6 when he and Lute notice Charlie and Vaggie in Heaven. In that scene, Lute grabs him by the collar and orders him not to speak loudly, with a very rude attitude to boot. Not only this is a total lack of respect given the different rank that they have (let's not forget that he is her superior, moreover in a military context, where discipline and respect are considered fundamental and absolute), but it also destroys any idea that Adam might be a misogynist for one simple reason: he lets her do it. People tend to forget this because Adam acts like an idiot and Lute acts like the bossy one, but the difference in strength between them is enormous. Lute is good at fighting with an angelic spear, but Adam can summon weapons, shatter magical shields with a punch, open portals, fire beams of power equal to the most powerful laser on Earth, and even defeat Charlie who in power level is equal or even superior to the Deadly Sins except for Lucifer. Adam can literally pick up Lute and break her bones like she's a breadstick, and no one could scold him for anything since he, being the general of the army, has the authority to give punishments if he feels there is a lack of discipline. If Adam had been a misogynist and a woman had dared to treat him that way, he would have immediately reestablished his authority by punching her in the face, or at least threatening her; instead, he lets her do it and listens to her advice, and he even seems genuinely sorry after she makes an offended face because of an unkind comment of his. Let's said it again: Adam, a being who can fight on equal terms with the princess of Hell and win, doesn't get angry after being treated badly and with disrespect by a woman inferior to him, but rather listens to her and follows her advice. Does this seem misogynistic to you?

So, to conclude, no, Adam is not a misogynist, he's just a slightly rude person who thinks his jokes are funny (and it must be said that no one ever contradicts him). He's like the classic pompous friend that any of us have had in life. Calling him misogynistic means to have no clue what misogyny, or patriarchy, is. Viv's problem (as unfortunately with many others) is that she uses words to describe her characters without really knowing what they mean, and she relies on her personal experiences (extremely subjective and without any objective value for the rest of the world) to write them. If Adam is indeed based on an ex-boyfriend, then that ex-boyfriend was just a ridiculous pompous prideful guy who didn't know what education was, certainly not a misogynist. I don't wish for Viv to meet a true misogynist in her life, but if that will happen she will immediately understand how stupid she was to describe Adam as one.

[ryusuisloveinterest]

I don’t like to read

I know Jason LOVES to read so I see a lot of Jason with an s/o who also likes reading. But what about the girlies who don’t? This honestly isn’t that good but here you go anyways!💗

You dont really like to read, at least novels or big books. Things like graphic novels are fine since you can look at pictures, but there are still occasions you don’t feel like reading those. You tried to get into series like Harry Potter, but your mind just starts wondering off. So, when you see your boyfriend Jason in bed reading a book bigger than the Bible you just stand there puzzled. “What’re you reading?” “War and Peace.” You sit under the covers. “You’re gonna read all of it?” He chuckles. “Yeah?” You really didn’t like reading, but you wanted to give it another try. After all, Jason has tried to do things you like to do that he doesn’t; like watching those annoying reality shows or learning to play tennis so you have an opponent/partner. So you went to the bookstore to see if they had one of his favorite books, Pride and Prejudice. After buying it you went home and began reading. “It is a truth universally acknowledged that…” seriously, this is what he read? This is so boring! And why do classical authors write this way? You keep reading, eyes fluttering, trying to figure out what’s going on. Man how long have you been on this page? You hear the door open. “Hey Princess do we still have earl grey tea? Been craving some all-“ Jason finds you almost asleep on the couch, the book barely in your hand. “Are you…reading Pride and Prejudice?” Your head pops up as you see your boyfriend towering over you, a small yet excited smile on his face. “Oh, yeah. It’s really good. The main girl…what’s her name, Emily?” “Elizabeth.” “Right Elizabeth. She’s like broke and wants a husband then can’t get one cause- um I don’t remember…but! She meets Mr. Darcy’s friend tried to marry her or something and…” Jason sits next to you and brings you close. His muscular arms wrap around you perfectly as if you were puzzle pieces meant to be together. You rest your head in his heart that was beating faster and faster by the second. “Thank you.” He whispers. “For?” “For trying to do this for me. I know you hate reading.” “Hate? Who said that?” “Your sister. And I can see it on your face when you have to read a paper.” You chuckle and blush. “Sorry, I really want to try something you like, especially since you always do so much for me.” With a smile Jason asks, “do you want me to read it to you?” You look up and smile. “I’d like that a lot.” 

[annwrites]

preacher's daughter. part three.

— pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

— type: part of a series

— summary: billy comes by to apologize for what happened at the lake & an agreement is made.

— tags: sharing an afternoon treat, billy making his first real move to corrupt you

— tw: religion, eating, drinking

— word count: 1,596

— a/n: oh, yeah. it's all starting.

GIF by bonniebird

There's a knock at the front door.

You quickly set the cookie sheet down that you currently have between your gloved hands on the stovetop, slipping off your oven mitts and tossing them onto the counter as you make your way to the door, wondering who it might be.

Daddy is currently away for the day, assisting a fellow pastor at a local rehab center, while momma is at book club, so it wouldn't be either of them.

When you open it, you're met with an...unexpected sight on the other side of the screen door.

Billy Hargrove, leaning a forearm against the outer doorframe as he looks at you, smirking. He holds your Bible up in his other hand. "Think you forgot this."

Kathy had returned to the lake once she took you home, so as to look for it, but then she'd called you, saying it had been nowhere to be found.

You'd cried half the night over it.

You open the screen door, stepping out toward him onto a welcome mat with bare feet as you gently take it from him, clutching it to your chest, a weight being lifted from your shoulders then. "Thank you," you say gratefully as you look up to him in appreciation.

You grow suddenly nervous then. "You didn't...read any of it, did you?"

"Thought the good book was for all of God's children," he replies sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant."

In truth, while it had been incredibly tempting, he hadn't. He didn't need to feel any worse than he already did about what had happened yesterday, and didn't need to dig himself a deeper hole when it came to you.

"Don't worry, your sins are between you and the man upstairs." He nods toward the inside of the house then. "Can I come in?"

You glance over your shoulder, then back to him, feeling relieved. "I don't know—"

He leans in toward you, while you lean back against the door.

"Not being very 'love they neighborly' now, are we, sweetheart?"

Your lip tugs down. "Okay, but...just for a bit."

He follows you inside then.

You pad silently to the kitchen, setting your Bible down on the small table near the wall.

You watch as he picks up a cookie. "They're still cooling—"

He takes a bite, licking his lips. "Chocolate chip, my favorite," he says with a wink.

You step over to the fridge. "I made lemonade this morning. Would you like some?"

He leans back against the counter, taking another cookie. "I'd never say no to the taste of something sweet."

You mentally roll your eyes as you retrieve a pitcher from the fridge, and then a glass from an overhead cabinet, quickly pouring some into it.

You hand it to him, his fingers brushing against your own as he takes it from you.

You then pour one for yourself to, at the very least, give your hands something to do.

He takes a sip, then clears his throat. "I wanted to...apologize."

You nearly drop the pitcher as you set it back inside the fridge.

You grip your glass between your hands then, condensation sliding over your fingers. "O-oh."

He shrugs, trying to pretend like it's no big deal, even if his heart is pounding like a hammer against cloth. "I didn't know. Not like it's something you people talk about a lot, obviously, so I'd have no way to."

You set your glass down on a coaster atop the table before crossing your arms. "You people?"

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm fuckin' sorry, alright?"

"Please don't curse in my home."

He rolls his eyes toward the ceiling, before leveling them again. "If you ever want to learn—"

You interject before he can finish that thought, speaking softly. "I don't think I'd want that."

He takes a step closer. "You know, I used to be a lifeguard at the Hawkins pool a couple summers ago. So I know what I'm doing. What happened yesterday..."

He sighs.

Stupid.

"It'll never happen again."

He places a finger under your chin, searching for you until your eyes meet his own again. "You'd be safe with me in the water, I promise. And I'll keep the come-ons to a minimum," he adds with a grin.

You tuck a lock of hair behind your ear nervously. "I don't have much reason to learn."

You really would just like for him to drop it. "I appreciate the offer. It's really nice of you to make it. I just... I'm..."

Tears sting your eyes. "Since it happened, I've been scared of water. I mean, I drink it and bathe..." Obviously, you think.

"I won't even take baths now," you state ashamedly.

"It's not the water that can hurt you. Just your ignorance of what to do once you're in it, baby" he states as gently as possible.

You worry your lip between your teeth. "Can I think about it?"

He's surprised that you're willing to at all. "Course."

He takes another cookie then, slowly chewing as he studies you. "Few of us are going out for a night-ride tonight. You want to tag along?"

“I don’t think that daddy—”

He interrupts you. “You’re eighteen, sweetheart. An adult. You don’t need to ask ‘daddy’s’ permission for everything you do. You’re allowed to do as you please.”

“I’m supposed to honor him.”

He sighs.

You continue. “It’s one of the Ten Commandments.”

He rolls his eyes. “Jesus Christ, yes, I’m aware.”

“Please don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.”

He groans, growing frustrated.

“You never answered yesterday: whether you believe in God.”

A muscle in his jaw feathers. “I go to church, don’t I?”

You continue to stare up at him. Not for awhile, you think, but don't say.

Finally, he sighs in exasperation. “I don’t know, alright? Does it really matter?”

“It does if you don’t want to burn in Hell…” You say softly, somewhat encouragingly, praying to make him see sense.

He raises a brow, fairly certain of what side is going to be punching his ticket when the time comes.

And then he smirks, an idea coming to mind. “You want me to keep coming to church? Want me to study my Bible and be a good little boy? A bit more…straight-laced, maybe?”

You’re not sure that you want to know where this conversation is headed. “I think going to church is beneficial for everyone.”

He nods, stepping closer to you, then closer still, until you’re backed against the wall, his palms pressed flat against it on either side as he stares down at you, while your heart hammers from nerves.

“How about we both agree to a little…arrangement, then?”

“A-arrangement?”

“Mhm,” he says, licking his lips. “I’ll keep showing up to Sunday service, maybe an occasional Wednesday night one if I have the time, and I’ll even pick up a cheap Bible if you give me something in return.”

“I—”

“Live a little. Do something impulsive every now and again. I place the opportunity before you, and if you don’t feel comfortable, you tell me no. But, if you do, that’s a missed service for me. How’s that sound, honey?”

You blink up at him. “What…kinds of things?”

He shrugs, brushing the back of his index finger against your cheek, wondering if anyone else has ever gotten this close before. He knows the answer with certainty: no.

“I’ll let you know when the opportunities present themselves. But you have one tonight. If you come, then, so long as I have time after work, I come to church Wednesday evening.”

You're quiet for a moment, considering. You know this is a bad decision, but you're about to make it anyway, telling yourself it's for his sake: an attempt at saving his soul. That there's still a chance for him, and this is it.

This is God putting him before you to save; placing him once more in your path.

But while you're bringing him back to God, you worry about you wandering further from Him.

You tell yourself—even if lying is a terrible sin—that the last reason you agree to his offer is due to the excitement which fills you at the prospect of doing something unexpected for once...or twice.

"Okay," you say quietly.

A wide smile breaks out across his face then. "Yeah? You'll do it?"

You nod shyly. "But the arrangement goes both ways. If I do something with you, you're required to come to church. And you have to be respectful while you're there. And...no more taking the Lord's name in vain, or—"

"Slow down, cowgirl. You don't have me pussy-whipped yet. Let's start with tonight and see how things go from there, alright?"

"Why do you always have to talk like that?"

He smirks. "Makes things more interesting. Can't all be as perfect as you, sweetheart."

He pushes off the wall, grabbing your lemonade instead of his and draining it in a few gulps. "You have a way to sneak out of here?"

He doesn't know why he bothers asking, when he's sure the answer is—

"Yes."

He raises a brow, now quite interested. And to think he was just getting ready to leave. "That right?"

You nod, studying the kitchen rug now. "My window. I...I can meet you near the cornfield behind the house. Okay?"

You look at him again, mentally praying he doesn't ask if you've taken such a route to get out of the house before. Or, rather, if so: why.

You can't tell him that. You can't tell anyone.

"Okay."

[orshii]

Guilty Pleasure - Follow You (Part 2)

✟ Pairing: Choi San x female reader ✟ Word count: 6k ✟ Warnings: cursing, suggestive, mentions of death, blood

✟ Summary: You go back to your hometown for the summer vacation, not expecting the small town's priest to be a total eye candy. But he seems to be hiding dark secrets underneath his holy façade.

Will you find out the truth?

✟-First Part-✟

✟ A/N: Heeyy, so here is the long-awaited part 2 of this story. When I first wrote it I would've never thought it was going to head this way, but it happened and we finally know all the dark secrets of Priest San and why is he acting like this. Also, Yunho and Mingi appear in this story as well, and they are from @bvidzsoo's Who Am I fanfiction, it's happening in the same world but the mention of it is just slight. I find it funny and exciting to write in the same world lol, as in the future that is going to happen more often if she is in hehe. Anyways, read part 1 before reading this to understand everything. Tyy, byee! (Also I'm obsessed with this song again, and it matches the vibes of the story so I recommend listening to it)

         I was sitting on the church’s brown bench again as I watched the familiar face who was standing in front of the altar with the Bible in hand and a rosary strolling around his veiny hands the familiar cross hanging on his chest, as he was preaching for the people who came to the church on a bright Sunday morning.

People need to hear some reassuring thoughts about their God so they are going to feel less burdened about the sins they have committed. As if going to church will liberate them from the bad things they all did. Including me, that had the biggest sin anyone had in this church.

And that was—sleeping with the priest who was standing in the middle of the church, trying to motivate the people who came and prayed for their freedom. His sharp but innocent-looking eyes never met mine. Maybe he felt guilty about the sins we committed or he was pretending like I did not exist.

Two weeks went by since that night. And I barely saw Choi San, the priest of the town I grew up in, well he wasn’t a priest, he just pretended to be one, because he had some dark secrets that he did not share with me. After we slept together—some not-so-innocent images popped up in my mind, as he looked down at me, hovering over me, whispering some dirty thoughts into my ears that made me commit any sins that existed. The way his hands ran through my thighs up and down as he made me feel good with a burning desire in his eyes. That night I just cut all my sanity and gave in my guilty pleasure, and so did San—But after that night we did not speak. We had met a few times at the store or at the servings he held, but he pretended like nothing happened and it made me feel uneasy.

Why did he pretend like nothing happened? Was I just a one-night stand to satisfy his needs as it was rare for him to find someone who is in for a fuck with a priest? But in reality, he wasn't even a priest and I still did not know what he was doing here, and why he pretended to be one.

And as I watched him standing in front of the altar, the hall as quiet as the church's mouse, in his long black vestment his eyes observing the people sitting in front of him, I had enough of this game and I needed to talk with him.

When the mass ended, I waited until the church emptied, pretending to pray a little longer. I needed this moment, especially since my thoughts during the service had been less than innocent. Once everyone had left, I stood up and made my way to the vestry room where San always prepared for the mass.

As I entered the room, I saw San speaking with an old man. He was smiling, his dimples showing—a rare sight since he was always so serious with me. His hands rested on the old man's shoulders as he reassured him, promising to pray for the man's sick wife. It was kind of him, revealing a caring and warm side to his personality. But I knew it was all an act. He fooled these people with promises he couldn't keep because he wasn't the person they thought he was.

When the man finally turned, I smiled at him and bowed a little when he passed by me, leaving the two of us in the room. San just glared at me with his sharp eyes, his dimples disappearing the moment the old man left the room.

"Hi," I said as I walked further inside leaning against a table that was full of crosses and Bibles, on the walls there were a few glorious paintings and a closet in the corner of the room where the priest's vestments were hanging. I looked at San with crossed arms in front of my chest.

"Hey," he said, not even meeting my eyes as he turned his back to me. He began taking off the black vestment he was wearing, revealing an ironed white shirt and black pants underneath. 

"Why are you avoiding me?" I said as I stared at his wide shoulders where my nails drew blood a few weeks ago.

He folded his black vestment and put it into the closet. Then he turned around to face me as he leaned against the closet mirroring my position. His eyes scanned me up and down. "I'm being watched. I have to pretend everything is normal and fulfill my priest duties," he said in a low voice, his expression unreadable. 

I scoffed. "So, I do not deserve at least an explanation?" I lifted my hands questioning him. "You can't keep fooling these people, they really trust you San. Some people would give their life into your hands."

He pushed himself off the closet and slowly approached me with predator's eyes. "I know, I hate to do this, but I have to. I can explain everything. Let's meet at the cemetery tonight." He said as he stood in front of me, he hovered above me, making me feel small. His eyes, burning with intensity, stared into mine, lighting up even in the dimly lit room.

"A cemetery? Really?" My brows furrowed in disbelief.

"Yes, I want to show you something." He stepped closer to me, even though we barely had space between us, his hands squeezing my waist tightly.

"First you kidnap me to an abandoned mansion, and now you want to take me to a cemetery? Are you planning to hide my body in a used coffin?" I folded my arms in the narrow space between us.

He hummed, leaning close to my face, his lips brushing against mine. "I want to do other things with your body, and they're far from innocent," he whispered as his thin lips moved to my bare neck, leaving slight kisses along the way. My lips parted, my body growing hotter, and my heart pounded with uncontrollable desire. I gripped the table behind me, trying to pull away, but he held me in place, not letting me escape. 

His hands on my waist pulled me flush against his body, one of his hands traveling up to my jaw as he held it and pulled me closer to his parted lips. "You are my guilty pleasure." He whispered the words onto my lips as his thumb traced over the bottom of my lip. I couldn't control my body or my thoughts, so I just gave control to him. His familiar candy-like scent drove me crazy, making me lose my mind.

Then I felt his lips crush onto my lips, which immediately parted letting his tongue in as it discovered my mouth. This feeling was too familiar yet too strange. I felt like all of this was wrong, I didn't know anything about him, yet I was here kissing him like he was the love of my life.

His lips moved against mine, meanwhile, his hands discovered my body that was flushed against his, I wrapped my hands around his neck like it was in a script of a movie, all of this felt so natural but inhuman at the same time. While he was kissing me, his hands traveled down to the back of my tights just to lift me to the table, swiping the things off from the top so I could sit. He was standing in between my legs that I wrapped around his small waist. His hands brushed against the top of my thighs up to my back where his hands ended up in my hair as he ran his fingers through my dark strings.

The desire that lit my heart in that moment was endless, I felt like it could never burn out, but I couldn't let this go further. After all, we were still in a church… I slowly pulled away from him a string of saliva still connecting our lips from our passionate kiss as San captured my lips in a deep possessive kiss again, pulling me into a more rushed kiss, sucking my lower lip between his teeth, as my hands were on his pumped-up chest trying to push him away carefully.

He leaned his forehead against mine as we both breathed heavily. "I want you," He whispered in between quick breaths.

"We are in a church," I whispered back as my eyes met his, our eyes mirroring the same desire we felt for each other.

He nodded with a slight smile, as his lips met mine again, leaving a long peck on my warm lips. "I have to go, meet you at the cemetery at 8 p.m. darling." He left a kiss on the corner of my mouth and with that he left me there sitting on the table, the crosses and Bibles on the floor scattered, making me want to run away as quickly as possible from there, and I face-palmed myself mentally for being this high over heels for a man, who made me forget humans had sinned and that needed forgiveness.

I parked my car in the cemetery’s parking lot, the sun was slowly settling down, to hide behind the hills that hugged the town around. The weather was quite chilly, as it was already the end of summer, early autumn knocking on the door to let them in. This change of season meant I would soon have to return to where I lived and resume teaching the children who counted on me. I didn't want to let them down.  

When I stepped inside the cemetery goosebumps ran through my body. The sun was barely shining, leaving me in a quiet and dark cemetery that was swimming in mist. I heard some weird noises that I couldn't comprehend. Perhaps it was a bird nesting in the branches or a squirrel scurrying up and down the tree trunks. I stood frozen at the entrance, hesitant to venture deeper into the eerie yet noisy cemetery. There were a lot of gravestones and some flowers that were long withered.

Then I gathered all my courage and stepped deeper into the cemetery not knowing where should I wait for San. The cemetery slowly swallowed me as I went deeper, the graves forming a labyrinth around me.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps, but I couldn't tell which direction they came from. My heart was beating wildly, and I was frozen in place, my legs refusing to move. Then, I felt hands on my waist from behind, squeezing me. I jumped and let out a small scream.

"Holy shit San, don't do this again." I felt relieved as I turned around and saw his face where the curves of his lips were up his dimples on the sight.

"Sorry," He chuckled as he saw my terrified face. "You seemed lost in here, darling." His hands were still on my waist as he pulled me closer to him.

"Of course, it's not me who comes to the cemetery daily to bury random people." I squinted my eyes looking up at him and I noticed he was in casual clothes that was a black T-shirt, glued to his chest and broad shoulders, the familiar cross hanging on his pumped-up chest, the T-shirt paired with black sweatpants. He looked so comforting in normal clothes I wanted to hug him so badly.

He giggled, seeming genuinely happy—a rare sight to see him smile in a way that wasn't fake. His hands reached for mine, interlacing our fingers. "Come, I want to show you something," he said.

He began pulling me along by our interlaced hands, guiding me through the maze of graves and random sculptures of fallen angels that I didn’t quite understand. I realized there were many things about this small town that I didn't know, despite having grown up here.

Suddenly, San stopped, and I bumped into his broad back, feeling as if I had collided with an unbreakable wall. As I looked around, I saw we were standing in front of a grave that was unique—nothing like the others. It was crafted with care, adorned with fresh flowers in two vases on the ground, and featured graceful curves with winged decorations. I had never seen anything like it before. I turned to look at San, who stood next to me, gazing down at the grave with a look of deep grief.

"This is my grandmother's grave." He said with a low voice still holding my hand as I stood next to him. I nodded and caressed his shoulders signaling I was here next to him. "She raised me with my grandpa. My parents passed me to them when I was little. We have not heard about them since then." He sighed and sat down in front of his grandma's grave pulling up his legs to his chest and resting his elbows on his knees. I followed him and sat close to him and ran my hand up his back my fingers slowly combing through his raven-black hair. I wanted to be there with him, I wanted him to know I was by his side no matter what.

He was staring at his hands in front of him as he continued. "So, I was growing up here until I was eighteen, that was the time I left the town so I could study more."

"How come I don't remember you? I was growing up here, yet I never seen you." I asked with a frown.

His lips curved a little. "Well, I changed a lot. I was a weak and not-so-social little boy, maybe that is why." He tilted his head towards my direction to look at me with a slight smile. As I pouted trying to remember the boy he was describing. "If it helps you more, my grandfather was the priest before me." He smiled at me looking at my face, my eyes going wide at the realization.

"No way, you are the mysterious grandchild of Father John? Oh my God." I looked at him as I couldn't believe it. "Look at you, now being strong and independent." I squeezed his biceps as he chuckled. But then his expression turned serious.

"So, the thing is, I don't know where is my grandfather." His gaze went back to the grave in front of us.

"What? Isn't he retired?" I asked him a little confused.

"No, he had this year to complete, and he wanted to retire next year. I came to visit him, but he was nowhere to be found. I searched everywhere, but there was no trace. Then, one day, these guys came after me and mentioned a 200-year-old golden relic that my grandpa owned, worth millions. " He glanced at me briefly as he spoke. 

"Those were the guys who chased us?" I asked him, trying to stay calm, it was a lot of information to process, as I remembered the night someone was chasing us with a black car, that night led us to San’s mansion.

"Yes, it's a mafia gang. They call themselves The Boyz and their leader is Sunwoo. One day they cornered me and told me they captured my grandpa and they were going to kill him if I don't tell them, where is the cup." His voice was full of rage as I watched his sharp side profile as he gritted his teeth. "When you saw me negotiate with some guys the other day, it was another gang called Ateez, their leader is Kim Hongjoong and I turned to them to ask for help. But the only way they agreed was that I give them the cup to keep it safe because they were famous for collecting different kinds of relics, and I agreed because I couldn't save my grandpa alone… I gave them money to help me but they only told me they were going to come when needed. And since that, I never saw them. So, it was a waste of time and I don't know if my grandpa is still alive." He sighed weakly in frustration, the burning rage slowly fading out of his eyes.

I ran my finger through my hair trying to calm down and think straight. "Do you know where is the cup?"

"Yes," He looked at me his eyes full of sadness alongside revenge. "We are sitting on it."

I frowned at that, looking around in confusion. "Where?"

"It's in my grandma's coffin."

My jaw hung open as I looked at the grave in front of us. "So, what will you do?"

"I don't know, Y/N…" He ran his fingers through his hair stressed. "I don't know what to do, what is the right choice I'm all by myself—"

"Hey," I said, reaching out to gently pull his hands away from his hair. I moved in front of him so I could look directly into his eyes. "I'm here. You're not alone, San." Kneeling between his spread legs, I cupped his face in my hands. "We'll figure this out together, okay?" I gazed into his eyes as I rested my forehead against his. 

He nodded and enveloped me in his strong arms and legs while I remained kneeling, almost making me disappear in his embrace. "Thank you so much, Y/N." He whispered into my ears his voice going weak. The familiar scent of candy hugged me tight, giving me a comfort that I didn't even know I needed.

Then San pulled away as his hands cupped my face. "I want you to be by my side…I want to be with you, but I'm scared you might get hurt in the process. I have a difficult life, Y/N…especially now…I don't know if I can keep you safe." He whispered as his gaze never left mine, his eyes welling up with tears.

I traced my thump on his cheek, where a teardrop escaped his eyes and wiped it away. "I'm going to be okay, it's easier to fight together than alone, right?" My lips curved up a little, giving him comfort.

He smiled at me emotionally, as his finger reached towards my hair, brushing a string behind my ear. "You are so beautiful and perfect, my darling. I don't deserve you." His eyes beamed caring and unlimited love, which made my heart twist painfully, but that pain was good, it whispered good things for the future.

"You do deserve someone by your side. And I want to be that person." I whispered back, leaning close to his face. When his lips met mine, it felt like he was kissing me for the hundredth time, yet each kiss still felt like the very first. It wasn't rushed, it was careful and warm, we sealed our lips together as a promise to protect the other no matter what. Something in my heart started to grow and it felt right for the first time in my life. But then a voice interrupted our promise to each other. 

“Well, well—the love birds are hiding in the cemetery. How romantic,” a voice said from behind us. I glanced over San’s shoulder and saw five men standing there, their eyes fixed on us with a predatory gaze.

San immediately got up and hid me behind his broad shoulder, his arms out in a protective manner. He looked like he was the mountain that hid people from danger. "Sunwoo…what do you want?" Sunwoo—then he was the leader of The Boyz… they were after the cup and we were standing right above it.

"Wasn't I clear enough on that?" I peeked out from the safety of San's back and saw the man who was speaking, he had foxlike eyes and black hair, and all of them were wearing leather jackets with ripped jeans, making them disappear into the darkness of the cemetery. I could barely count how many of them were still hiding in the dark.

Suddenly I heard hustling from behind and I had no time to react, all I felt was a hand around my neck and that pulled me away from San, a sharp, cold thing replacing the strange hand. San turned towards me, looking at the man behind me with sharp, glaring eyes. "Let her go, she has nothing to do with this!" He shouted as he tried to attack the man who held a knife to my neck. From the sudden movement, the knife went deeper into my skin, as blood streamed down my neck like tears. But San had no chance as the leader caught him in no time and held a gun to the back of his head. "Don't try to act like a hero, or she'll die," Sunwoo mumbled into San's ear.

I couldn't process what was happening, my heart was pumping loudly in my ear, and I barely heard what was happening. My vision was on San the whole time, whose eyes were staring at me, trying to give me some strength that I needed at that moment. I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself down, but as I lifted my chest to breathe the sharp knife dug deeper into my skin, making me panic at the sudden pain.

"If you tell us, where the fuck is that cup, I'm going to tell you where is your old man and we won't kill this sweetheart." The leader nodded towards me with a perverted smile. I wanted to throw up from the pain and the faces they all made while looking at me.

I met San’s gaze again; he was signaling that he was about to make a move. In a sudden burst of action, he spun around, grabbed the gun that was pressed against his head and punched the man in front of him who fell to the ground. At the sudden movements, the man behind me lost the grip of the knife and I immediately kicked him in the balls and he hunched over immediately from the sudden pain. San ran towards me and held me by both sides of my shoulders. "You have to run, Y/N! Drive to the mansion and wait for me there, please!" He said hurriedly, as the other men were running towards us. Fuck, I had no chance there, but I did not want to leave him alone.

He saw my face as I hesitated a little, "I promise I'm going to find you, darling. Just go!" He begged me as the man behind him gripped his shoulder trying to hit him. I wanted to scream and shout at the men who attacked him, but I needed to run and get some help for him. San was fighting with the two men, punching them and trying to dodge their movements.

Then I got an idea, San had no chance against a bunch of people we were surrounded by, it was impossible, so I needed to distract a few of them. The ones behind my back were walking towards me because they knew I had no chance, but I quickly jumped over a grave and started to run so they were going to get far away from San. I needed to reach my car, but navigating through the graves was difficult in the dark; I could only make out vague shapes.

 I jumped over several gravestones and tried to be as quick as I could and try to distract them, hoping one of them was going to get lost in the dark mist, trying to move quickly and create enough confusion that maybe one of them would get lost in the darkness. Then I heard gunshots—lots of them. The sound made me stumble, and I fell to the ground, feeling a surge of fear and wanting to cry. "San," I whispered, still on the ground as the men behind me closed in. I couldn't let them catch me, for San, I needed to gather my strength and get help for him. So, I stood up with determination and started to run towards the exit. 

When I finally arrived at a trail that led me to the exit, I felt relieved as the adrenaline gave me a burst of power, making me run faster as I looked behind me. Three men were running after me, the fourth probably gave up on chasing me, or he did get lost in the labyrinth of the cemetery.

I ran through the exit and quickly sat in my car. I fired the engine, the lamps lit up and the three men were standing in front of my car, their faces like the devil's, smiling in success as they trapped me. But I was in a car, and I had the advantage of simply using it as a weapon. The engine of the car roared up as I hit the gas pedal and the car speeded towards them. Two of the men managed to jump out of the way, but the third wasn't as fortunate.

He leaped onto the hood of my car, trying to avoid the impact. He looked at me with killer eyes through the windshield as I was still speeding, but then I hit the break and he stumbled forward, hitting the ground with a loud thump. I hoped he wasn’t seriously injured—or worse.

I was frozen for a moment as I tried to think what to do, my breathing was loud and heavy, and blood pumped in my ears. Then I looked to my right and saw a baseball bat lying on the floor. I had kept it in the car for situations just like this. Why not use it? I couldn't just leave here San; I promised him we were going to fight together.

So, I grabbed the bat and opened the car door. The man I had hit was groaning on the ground, clearly in pain but still alive. The other two men were running towards me as I held up the baseball bat preparing to defend myself as they approached.

But then, I heard a loud engine sound and all I saw was a big, black jeep, hitting the two men that were running towards me. It all happened so quickly. The jeep stood in quiet for a moment, the front a little broken from the impact and smoke coming up from the engine.

Then someone opened the passenger door and a tall man got out of it, whom I barely saw in the dim lights of the parking lot. The other door opened as well, and another tall figure stepped out, both of them heading in my direction. I held up the baseball bat again because I did not know if I could trust these men.

"We are here to help." The one with the soft features raised his hands in the air.

"Who are you?" I asked them, gathering all the strength I had left.

"I'm Jeong Yunho, Kim Hongjoong sent me to help San." He is Song Mingi, we came to help." The tall boy came closer to me and reached his hands to shake hands, his features full of kindness.

"We don't have time for this, San is in the cemetery and we got attacked, he needs help." I started to panic as I did not hear anything after the gunshots.

"Mingi stay with her, she is injured, I'm going to find San! " Yunho said with a serious expression on his face as he was speaking to the other guy, whose expression was bored as he leaned against my car folding his arms. Then Yunho ran towards the entrance of the cemetery as the dark swallowed him.

I leaned against my car, waiting impatiently for Yunho and San to come, I tried to go after them a few times but Mingi stopped me all the time, saying 'Let them do their job'.

After half an hour that I spent worrying about San, their dark figure finally appeared from the cemetery as Yunho was holding San by the waist and San's hands were clinging around Yunho's neck. I hurried in front of them quickly, San seemed injured.

"San-ah, are you okay?" I cupped his face, which was a little beaten up, with a few cuts on his lips, and on his cheekbones.

"I'm okay, darling, I'm okay," he whispered as he released Yunho and pulled me into a protective embrace. When he gently pulled me away, his eyes roamed over me from head to toe, checking for any injuries. His gaze finally landed on my neck.

"Fuck, Y/N!" He traced the cut on my neck with great care, where the blood had already dried—I had already forgotten about my wound. "Does it hurt?" he asked softly. Leaning down, he placed a tender kiss on the wound, sending shivers through my body. 

I shook my head as a no. "It's not that deep."

He tilted his head up looking into my eyes with anger. "I'm glad I killed those motherfuckers." My heart started to race at that, it was a new side of him, that I did not see until now. It did scare me, but at the same time, I knew he had no other choice than to kill them. It was a choice between him and them, and clearly, the better option was for San to survive. 

"Okay you love each other we get it," Yunho clasped his hands together, making me remember they were also there. "But we should hurry if you want to save your old man, San."

"Where is he?" San asked turning towards the two tall men, both leaning against the car. San's eyes were full of determination.

"Right now, as our people told us, he is in a building that is going to explode in like…" Yunho looked at his watch on his wrist. "…10 minutes." He said casually.

"Then why are we even here, let's go!" San said, already forgetting he was injured, as we sat into the black jeep, the guys already gone that they hit.

As we made our way to the building, I cuddled up to San’s side. He caressed my back and ran his fingers through my hair, whispering how proud he was of me for standing up to the bad guys and staying by his side. Even if I had the choice, I wouldn't have it any other way. I knew I was meant to be with San, and I never wanted to leave him.

When we arrived at the building, which was about to explode, I stayed in the car despite my urge to join them. I figured it would be easier for them if I stayed behind. Nervously biting my nails, I watched the clock ticking down to the explosion—just 2 minutes remaining—and they were still nowhere to be seen.

I couldn’t stay still. I stepped out of the car and paced back and forth in front of it, my anxiety making it impossible to remain in one place. 

1 minute - nothing

30 seconds - nothing

I was on the verge of running into the building just before it was about to explode when I saw four figures run through the entrance the moment the building exploded. The moment the building erupted, a burst of orange filled the dark air pieces of the building everywhere in the air, which landed in a rain-like form on the ground with a loud thump as the explosion shook the ground.

I lost sight of the figures running as I held my arm out forming a shield. Bits of concrete and debris struck me, and some landed on the car. When the building caught on fire I looked around to search for them.

But I saw no one in between the burning pieces. I walked closer, as I spotted them between two big concrete pieces that fell from the building. As I ran to them, I saw that San held his grandfather on his lap, crying as Yunho and Mingi were kneeling beside them, Yunho's hands on San's shoulder trying to calm him down.

I speeded next to San my hands on his back, as I looked down at his grandfather. His abdomen was full of blood, his T-shirt long soaked with red, his chest unmoving, and his eyes were glassy, a single teardrop falling towards his temple as he was staring up at the sky full of stars, with no reaction in his eyes. He left us.

"I couldn't save him," San's voice came out and stumbled as he was sobbing, holding his grandfather's dead body. His grandfather raised him and made his grandchild the most caring and passionate human on earth. He fulfilled his job and it was time for him to leave us behind.

I hugged San as he was sobbing into my neck, still careful not to hurt the wound on my neck. I whispered to him some reassuring thoughts that slowly calmed him down. Yunho and Mingi waited for us patiently to calm down so we could talk about the cup that was the cause of this turmoil that ended with the death of San's grandfather.

 It is interesting to think about how humans are capable of anything just because of a two-hundred-year-old relic that was worth millions—even billions. They do not realize the value of a human's soul; it is higher than the paper that is worth—perhaps millions.

A human's soul is worth the universe which has more value than a piece of paper. But people are greedy and they do not care if someone gets lost along the way. They only see the gold and money, that keeps them going, not caring about burning the world along the way.

This is why San decided to entrust the cup to Yunho, whom he trusted deeply. San knew Yunho was a man of his word, reliable, and always present when help was needed. As we handed the cup over to them just before they left, Yunho's final words were:

"Welcome to Ateez."

With that, they drove away with the cup, leaving behind a trail of trouble but also opening the door to a mysterious future with the gang Ateez. 

-1 month later-

"That's all," San said as he closed the rear door of the car, clasping his hands together as we were in front of his mansion, I needed to go back because the summer vacation ended.

"Are you sure you want to come with me?" I asked still unsure of why would he come with me back to where I was living.

He stepped closer to me as he grabbed my waist, one of his right hands cupping my cheek as his thumb traced it with care. "I have nothing left here." He whispered resting his forehead against mine. "I'm going to follow you, wherever you go."

"Promise me you'll never leave my side," I whispered, overwhelmed by the surge of emotions that suddenly hit me.

"I promise, darling." He whispered looking into my eyes. "I love you," He cupped my face, his eyes full of sincerity and passion that burned with flaming desire.

I held his wrist that held my face as I left a feather-like kiss on his wrist. "I love you too, San" I smiled at him with all the warmth in my heart, gazing at him as if he was my entire world—and it wasn’t a lie. He truly was my world, and I was committed to following him wherever he went. From the moment I saw him, I knew we were destined for each other. 

Then he kissed me carefully his lips moving against mine in a possessive way, like he wanted to ensure I was his forever, his hands pulling me closer to him, locking me in, as if I wanted to run away from him, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. I kissed him back reassuring him I was never going to leave him.

Our story had only just begun, and I was eager to discover what destiny had in store for us. The red strings bound us together to connect us so we could fight the obstacles that life would throw our way. It was easier to fight against the bad things when you had someone by your side.

Choi San had me, and I had Choi San—together, we were ready for whatever came next. 

[deanbrainrotwritings]

—  GOD, IF YOU ARE ABOVE

SUMMARY : technically part two of demonology and heartache (which I haven’t posted, yet). an au in which dean is a priest and the reader is a demon with an obsession to corrupt him. 

PAIRING : priest!dean winchester x demon!reader (f.)

CHARACTERS : none

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), angst, voyeurism, smut, p in v, masturbation, corruption kink, priest kink, blasphemy, defiling a church, jealousy

WORD COUNT : 1.8k

A/N : falling in reverse song title. @spnkinkevents : #12daysofspnkinkmas2023 — voyeurism and priest kink. no spoilers for the fic I haven’t posted. @jacklesversebingo card square — voyeurism. this is… uh… I’m going to hell XXXX

Dean attempted to act as if she didn’t affect him. He felt so guilty, he wouldn’t even dare confess to his superiors what he’d done or tell them that the new nun they brought to the church was in fact an ancient demon. 

The truth was, she hadn’t harmed anyone physically. But he had a feeling it was her that influenced the strange closeness between Sister Perlamaria and Sister Arelys. And the scent of cigarettes and alcohol that billowed from Father Calvo’s breath. And the dirty dreams he’s been having every night, more frequently than before, always with her. 

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to come clean about her to someone who could do something about her subtle corruption within the church, the defilement of all that was once in everyone in the church.

Dean wondered what she told the people who came by and how she so easily managed to make people believe her, how she convinced them to do as she suggested, not even having to lift a finger to get what she wanted. 

Well, that was the case for everyone else except him. For him, she made him dream about her, fantasies of doing things to her, and of her doing things to him. And when he was under her spell—which really wasn’t a spell at all, but rather his lust and desire for carnality—she pounced on him. And now, he was hers. 

He struggled to keep her promiscuous behaviour to a minimum, it was difficult to control her at all—and it was arousing all together, unfortunately for him. He couldn’t resist her and eventually, the dreams ended, but his desire for her was undying. She was truly wicked, burrowing into him and planting seeds that would grow of their own accord.

His desire for her bloomed on its own within him, a few intimate touches, sultry glances, and seductive words sent in his direction were enough to keep those flowers from withering away. They were more like weeds than flowers, he wanted to get rid of his desire, but he couldn’t. They invaded all that he was. 

But it was a nice feeling that made him… free. He didn’t want to stop, not after getting a taste of her sinful lips, not after getting his hands on her soft body, not after she slept with him. 

He walked to her room again, like he did every night. Sometimes she was nowhere to be found. Other times she’d be asleep. Or she’d read the Bible mockingly, marking the text and correcting the stories. If he was lucky, he’d catch her touching herself, moaning his name as she climaxed on her fingers. 

He was too much of a coward to enter her room. He knew that she knew he watched her when she touched herself. He wasn’t brave enough to enter her room to bury himself inside the warmth of her body. Instead he returned to his room to finish the job with his own hand.

Today, he was too tired to sneak around and add to the guilt that already weighed him down. As exhilarating as it was to be with her and to see her every once in a while, as a break from what his father wanted him to do. Dean just wanted to give in completely to something he wanted, to something new.

He didn’t know what to expect, but he knew it was not a coincidence that the doors were shutting by themselves as he made his way back to his room. A shiver ran down his spine, prickling his skin so his hairs stood on end, but there were no windows open. He knew it was her.

He got to his room, but the door didn’t budge. He sighed tiredly, but a smile tugged at his lips despite how wrong it felt to walk away from his room with a spark of thrill in his blood. 

He followed the chill around the cathedral, allowing self-shutting doors to take him wherever he knew Y/n was guiding him. 

Eventually, he made his way to the nave. The moonlight poured through stained glass, onto the walls and floor. Dean didn’t have to look around for her because he could hear her pleasuring herself, and straight across, on the altar, was her. 

Naked. His breath caught in his throat. He felt… offended. Afraid. Aroused. 

He froze where he stood, having a clear view of her skin and her body. Her hand moved between her legs, her other cupped her breast, and she arched her back off the hard flat surface of the altar. 

He wasn’t sure if it was all a show for him. Or if she wanted to get caught on purpose. He also thought of the possibility that she may even be trying to tempt the other Sisters or Fathers, the way she had with him. 

The dreams of carnal love-making ended. The escapes from her quarters into his to enact his fantasies had lessened. He didn’t know if she was bored of him and was moving on to a new victim or if she was teasing him, testing him. 

He was jealous, he could feel the heat rise up his face at the thought of her interest moving away from him to someone else. She was a demon, afterall, she had no loyalties to anyone, no conscience or care for the concept of monogamy. He couldn’t believe he had feelings for her, as if she would do the same. He knew she didn’t, she would never reciprocate, she couldn’t, but he couldn’t stop himself.

He stepped closer to her, his stomach fluttering, his heart palpitating… He felt hot all over, jealous, angry, so many emotions—including lust. His hands shook and walking felt uncomfortable from how erect he was within the confines of his black dress pants.

She was taking longer than normal to get off, smoothing her hands over her soft, fleshy body. Laying herself out completely over the decorated altar, staring up at the crucifix defiantly when her hand travelled back down between her legs. 

Dean wondered if she’d done it before, if she did it always. He knew nothing about her, except for the taste of her mouth and her pussy, the texture of her skin, her lips, and her warmth deep within… a warmth that simply did not reach her eyes, it was only lust in disguise. 

Her head rolled to the side, eyes closed, brows furrowed in concentration, pants and moans echoing through the wooden walls. Her eyes fluttered open when one of his feet dragged loudly across the floor, and she lifted her head to see the intruder, a mischievous smirk growing on her face.

She spread her legs further apart, her fingers moving quickly against her clit, fingers plunging inside her pussy faster as he stood frozen in place. His lungs tightened as she stared into his eyes just a few feet away from him, her moans getting louder and needier. 

He was breathless and his legs felt like he was walking through tar, but he was still able to rush over to her, and slap a hand over her mouth to silence the lewd sounds she was making. His presence only seemed to spur her, she stared up into his eyes shamelessly, and he did the same for a few moments before looking away. 

His gaze slowly trailed down to her breasts as she arched further off the flat surface. He traced the curve of her waist with his green eyes, captivated by her arousing beauty. He felt her tongue against his palm and her teeth, and he stared back up at her lecherously, breathing heavily as she moaned his name against his palm.

He pushed her thighs apart and stared obscenely as she fingered herself and rubbed her clit, her thighs and fingers soaked in her excitement. He held his hand tightly to her mouth to continue muffling the hot sounds she was making, and brought his other hand down to keep her thighs apart, holding her leg bruisingly onto the altar, until she fell apart on her own fingers.

She cried into his hand, worshipping his name as she writhed and shook. Her eyes pierced his, shining with desire—and what he thought was reverence. 

When he released her, Dean tilted his head at her. She relaxed, catching her breath while staring up at him, her lust devouring him whole. 

“Do you always do this here?” He asked her, shoving his coat off his shoulders. She read the situation wrong, and excitedly reached for his belt to unbuckle it as she shook her head at him. “Don’t,” he implored quietly, placing his coat over her shoulders.

“Please,” she whispered, releasing him nonetheless. She leaned back on her arms and watched him, her eyes begging him to take her where she was. 

“I can’t,” Dean murmured, leaning down to kiss her on the lips. She breathed in and kissed him back, taking his hands to rest them on her warm hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning backwards until he was leaning over her. “My room,” he mumbled against her lips, but she pulled away to scowl playfully.

“You don’t have to take your clothes off,” she smiled cheekily, shrugging his coat off her shoulders. He stared down at her body and inhaled sharply, squeezing her hips. “It’s actually hotter if you leave it on, Father,” she teased, tugging his belt to encourage him, but she didn’t remove it. 

“You still want me?” He asked, kissing her shoulder. She pulled away and gazed up at him for a few seconds, confused by his question.  

“Yes…?” She started to unbuckle his belt slowly, waiting for him to stop her if he didn’t want her to go further. “Why are you asking?” She asked anyway, gasping when she felt two fingers push into her, her stomach fluttering. 

“I like the attention you give me,” he confessed as she worked his pants off faster. 

“Well…” she began thoughtfully, “you’re the most interesting person here.” Dean hummed in approval of her answer and slipped his fingers out of her to wrap them around his cock, teasing her wet slit like she’d taught him.

The word “good,” rumbled hotly through him and he pushed into her wet entrance, then grabbed her thighs to pull her to the edge of the table. Fully sheathed inside her, they both moaned quietly, her legs bending at the knees so she could press them into his sides, holding him close.

“There’s nothing good about my interest in you, Dean,” she purred sensuously, her fingers curling around the back of his neck, slipping through his soft hair. She pulled him down and kissed him, gratified by the arousal burning furiously in his green eyes like a forest on fire.

That look in his eyes was why she did this. Deep down, there was a purity in his soul she could never defile, not like she had done to everyone and everything in this church. The light within him burned so brightly, it could not be easily extinguished, and that was an exciting challenge she didn’t mind failing. 

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