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neonponders · 3 years

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👀 👀 👀 👀 Oh jesus oh lord. Deeper Than Skin is finished so I’ll enable another wip.

@ghostofjellyfishforgotten I hope you don’t mind me using your tags on this vampire!Billy / blood donor!Steve post as inspiration! Your brain is just too big for me not to pass up an opportunity to write vampire shenanigans.

Read on ao3 ~

🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹

Steve didn’t judge people who worked as donors—

Fine, as an adult with a better awareness and compassion, Steve didn’t judge donors. He might’ve said some shitty things to Jonathan Byers when he worked to make his family extra money.

Honestly? Steve admired that. Jonathan being underage and having the guts to figure out how to get into the donation clinic, and then to let…

Steve knew he was a coward in a lot of ways. He knew it when he called Jonathan a queer who enjoyed leeches sucking on him. He knew it when he lost to the punches Byers threw. For a skinny, half empty blood bag, the guy could really hit. And Steve knew it when he almost ran away from Nancy and Jonathan fighting off the rogue vampire who kidnapped little Will Byers.

But Steve didn’t run away.

Just like he didn’t run away from the couch he sat on with his mother while his father explained…a situation that left Steve digging deeper and deeper into the gap between fear and bravery. Maybe call it disassociation. Or confused shock.

“You what?”

Harrington senior never took well to being interrupted. But he sighed from across the coffee table and reiterated, “The family is in debt.”

“No. You. You’re in debt. This is your problem.”

The man certainly didn’t take well to having his own mistakes shoved under his nose. “This isn’t for debate. This is the way things are and need to be.”

“No,” Steve repeated like a broken record clinging onto its song. “This is your fault. Who’s made me work minimum wage jobs to teach me a lesson? Who’s refused to pay for me to go to community college? Who hasn’t let me work in their company? And who made the shitty gambles with your company’s stocks? You shoved me out, so it’s definitely not my problem—”

“The contract has already been signed.”

Now his mother shifted her posture on the couch beside him. “Excuse me?”

Steve’s father moved his blunt nails over the armrest of his wingback, fidgeting. At least something put fear into the old bastard’s heart.

“There’s nothing I could do. The market has been evolving ever since vampires gained their rights and opened up their decades and centuries old bonds—”

“Vampire legislation passed over a century ago,” Mrs. Harrington purred. Sometimes the worst anger was the quiet kind. “You have no excuse. You lost the game, and you sold our son. Is that what we’re to believe?”

“That’s not possible,” Steve intercepted. “Slavery isn’t a thing anymore. Even I picked that up in history. And I would have to be there to sign the contract! It’s my—”

“Steve,” his father silenced. “When enough money is involved, anything is bought. And you’re not like anyone else.”

Mrs. Harrington fumed, “Do not talk to him like he’s a prize pony!”

“Except to a wealthy vampire, he is.”

Steve could only sit in weighted silence for a moment. He always joked to himself that he’d be disowned one of these days. For being a disappointment. For all of his bad grades. For giving his friends alcohol and cigarettes. For only being able to get jobs that required no qualifications or experience level at all. For discovering he liked kissing boys at the grimy music venues Robin took him to. Maybe living at home for too long. Or leaving the smell of burnt pancakes in the air too often because he always struggled with the first one—

“Vampire?” he croaked. For some reason it hadn’t dawned to him until now but…shit.

Holy shit.

Steve wasn’t being sold off to be some billionaire’s secretary for life. He was being…truly sold. Like…goodbye, Steve, who likes spring nights and summer mornings. His favorite food is breakfast and he wishes he kept with the music lessons his mom paid for instead of being peer pressured into sports. Whose best friend was Robin Buckley because she was brave and funny and stuck with him during his ironic and a little bit terrifying queer awakening…

Hello, Donor 0235. Blood type O. Allergic to nickel and checks off all vaccination requirements.

“Steve’s not wrong,” his mother echoed like a voice deep in a cave, drawing Steve out of his thoughts. “He is the one to sign the contract. Not you.”

“He is still classified as our dependent and on our insurance,” his father refused.

“So being an adult means nothing in this country?”

“They have our family records, Annette!” he exclaimed. “There is a dual government in this country even if nobody below upper-middle class sees it. The human government had to cede a great deal because the vampire population is massive. And they’ve kept track of all the Sanguis families! Name changes, and two World Wars did nothing to save us—”

“The what?” Steve all but whispered.

His mother rotated her hips to face him. “We only have legends about how it happened. Paleolithic gods making deals, vampires crossbreeding humans to make a certain kind of blood donor, human evolution after symbiotic deals were struck—but that doesn’t matter. The point is that there are people in this world with abilities that preserve themselves against vampires. That’s why you healed in less than two days after that silly fight by the movie theatre.”

His father intercepted, “The genes skipped your mother but fell to you.”

Steve’s eyes widened as his mother confirmed, “To protect us, girls have been promoted in the family tree for generations. Through marriage, their names could change, and make them harder to track.”

Steve countered toward his father, “So this really isn’t your place to sign my life away. Like five times over.”

“I quite agree,” his mother turned back to the man she’d married. The man who was supposed to protect her and her children with his name and promising, growing business.

At least Steve wasn’t the only failure in the family.

His father massaged his forehead and defended, “As I said. Humans’ government is far easier to corrupt our way into forgiving any debt. The vampires, however, are inconsolable. The bastard would have my business, the cars, our house, and taken his time discovering Steve on his own if I hadn’t—”

Steve took after his father, but he was his mother’s son as they both stood up from the couch, furious that this man had thrown his own kid under a vampire’s bus—

“Get out of the house, Steve.”

His head whipped around at her. “I-What?”

“Get out of the house,” she seethed, but not at him. “I don’t care where or what you do. Go.”

Steve didn’t need to be told twice but he hadn’t managed to grab his car keys or his shoes before the house and his ribcage trembled with his parents’ arguing. He went in his socks outside and put the shoes on in his car.

Then…he didn’t know where to go. Running the hell away seemed like the obvious solution, but if vampires really had such a network, what was the point? And if he left, what would happen to his mom?

Steve drove on autopilot to the video rental store. Robin. All he had was Robin, who took the lollipop out of her mouth when the bell on the door twittered. “Hey, dingus, it’s your day off—Steve?”

He couldn’t really remember driving. That probably should have raised more red flags than he already had, but for now, the black and neon carpeting of the Family Video was blurring and swirling…

“I’m gonna throw up,” he heard himself say.

And Robin in that distant, echoing cave his mother had spoken from, “Outside! STEVE!”

#harringrove #vampire!billy #blood donor!steve #sanguis #neonponders #pondermoniums #ghostofjellyfishforgotten

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forthegothicheroine · 3 years

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american psycho, the company of wolves, beauty and the beast (og disney), beauty and the beast (disney remake), tim burton's sleepy hollow, the over the garden wall miniseries, disney's legend of sleepy hollow (lmao i want it to be fall so bad), sofia coppola's marie antoinette, sofia coppola's the beguiled, the innocents, fire walk with me, crimson peak, coppocula

Hoo boy! Stuffing this big series of answers below the cut.

American Psycho:

Love it! I don't think the book would do it for me (I don't do well with graphic torture) but I thought the movie did a good job of showing us the kind of things he was doing, while also leaving enough ambiguity even before the twist at the end, and letting us sympathize with his depression (even if he can't name it) while also making him deeply unpleasant.

The Company of Wolves:

Do I like it as a big feminist statement? Honestly, not really- there's no sympathy for any women who aren't Rosalie or maybe her mother, and I think we are supposed to be conflicted over whether the choice she makes at the end is the right one. Do I like it as an exploration of an adolescent female id? Absolutely. Sex and violence and terror and quests are all on her mind and are all equally awful and thrilling, and Rosalie wants what's bad for her and isn't sure it's actually bad for her and the balance of power is always see-sawing and the whole thing feels like the most amazing dream.

Beauty and the Beast (original):

I thought the Beast was too mean when I was a little kid and forming my Disney opinions- I might actually like it more now. This is probably why I like the Cocteau version, even though what he does is basically still just as bad, because at least he's not a dick about it (and Panna a nevtor, which plays it all for gothic horror.)

Sleepy Hollow:

In retrospect, this one shows a lot of the problems that would later kill my love for Tim Burton, but it's still a lot of fun. The Hessian is genuinely scary, Johnny Depp is mugging a bit but it's not as bad as it would eventually get, and I want all the dresses.

Over the Garden Wall:

Pure distilled autumn in its aspects of both harvest and death, fun and fear. It's a world based on vintage Halloween postcards and fairytales that don't actually exist but feel like they do. I love every character, and that momentary flash where we see what the Beast looks like haunts my nightmares. My only caveat is that I do sometimes have to tell other people to keep watching after Schoolyard Follies, there will be a plot I promise!

Disney's Legend of Sleepy Hollow:

I think this is one of those where I never saw the whole thing, just the main song on one of those Best of Disney compilation videos. I'll at least give it credit for preserving the original story rather than making the Headless Horseman actually real (which I think most adaptations do because frankly the original story isn't long enough for feature length.)

Marie Antoinette:

This seems like one of those movies where you've supposed to get into the mood of the music and the visuals more so than the plot or characters? I can get into that.

The Beguiled:

I still don't know if I want to see this or not! The concept sounds cool and creepy, but I don't like the idea that these ladies are the good guys. Or maybe I'm wrong and nobody's supposed to be a good guy? Or maybe I should watch the grimier original since I unfortunately find young Clint Eastwood hot?

The Innocents:

I'm personally of the opinion that the ghosts in The Turn of the Screw were real (it's just that screaming at a child is not a good way to exorcise them), but the deliberate ambiguity/unreliability of this version is also creepy in its own way. It's a much darker ghost story that you'd get from most big studio films of the time, certainly.

Fire Walk With Me:

This really did a good job of portraying its protagonist as a real person rather than just an object of clinical observation or perverse whimsy (which I think Twin Peaks the Return fell into.) It's just so heartbreakingly sensitive and Sheryl Lee does such a good job of portraying Laura as both kind and mean, loving and hateful, and absolutely the victim of someone she should have been able to trust. And then the end, where Cooper is smiling gently at her and the angel has come back and she's laughing in relief? Oh my god.

Crimson Peak

I didn't love this as much as I thought I would (maybe because I was spoiled about what was up with the Sharpes, or maybe because I didn't like the implication that Edith should have gone with the nice boy best friend she didn't love) but I'd still say it's a good entry in the gothic romance genre. Stunning clothes and scenery, great actors, scary ghosts, an ending open enough for fanfiction. If I picked this up as an Avon Satanic Gothic at a thrift store, I'd definitely be happy!

Coppocula (Bram Stoker's Dracula)

Oof. I don't want to be a snob about this. I've definitely liked Dracula movies that were wackier or dumber than this (looking at you, 2004 BBC version!) This one just breaks my heart because there's so much talent on display and I just. fucking. hate it! That soundtrack deserved a better movie. That red dress deserved a better movie. All the characters deserved better writing. Whenever someone tells me they love this movie, I have to nod and say that it's certainly beautiful looking, because I don't want to be a terrible gatekeeper, and if it was an original vampire story it might well be a guilty pleasure of mine. I just fucking hate it. On the bright side, it did give us Vlad the Poker in the What We Do in the Shadows movie, a pitch-fucking-perfect parody of Gary Oldman's Dracula, and the Nadja/Gregor plot in the What We Do in the Shadows tv show, a pitch-fucking-perfect deconstruction of the reincarnated wife trope.

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legionofpotatoes · 3 years

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we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

#text #another one in my bulleted review series with no rhyme or reason #sorry resident evil fans this could be a painful read pls turn away #i know almost nothing about it but i am gonna be super fake familiar and critical of this one hey ho

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crystalstar8 · 4 years

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Knights of the Night (ch 22)

Chapter 22

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17, ch 18, ch 19, ch 20, ch 21, ch 22

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count:

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j @daechwitad-2 @zobadak @fallenstar-7

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

Catalina figured she was in hell when the first thing she felt was fire. It was burning her from the inside out. It was a pain she had never felt before, completely blinding, completely debilitating. The only thought that consumed her was make it stop, make it stop, make it stop.

The fire felt like it was licking at her veins for what felt like eternity. At some point, she became aware of her body, namely, her face, which began feeling as though it was being stretched to its limits. The only thing she could liken this pain to was how allergy season made her face feel in the mornings: swollen and full. It was a similar feeling, but a thousand-fold. It eventually moved to her jaw. She felt like her teeth would fall out if this continued. She felt as if her jaw would come unhinged if this didn’t stop. This pain overwhelmed the fire, which was a blessing and a curse. A blessing because the fire was sharp and all consuming, a curse because this pain was almost worse. A curse because Catalina was sure her face was being torn apart.

Every time she thought she couldn’t take any more, the fire or the pain in her face would persist, keeping her in an immovable state even longer. When would this end? Would it ever? She felt as though this kind of pain had been described to her before, but she couldn’t be sure. She had to be in hell. She died, right? She remembered dying. She must be in hell.

It felt like absolute eternity, but eventually, the pain began subsiding. Every time it would lessen slightly, she would thank whatever deity was doing this to her. The more it subsided, the more room for memory made its home in her mind. She died. Amanda slit her throat. Her friends. Jimin was beside her, a knife to his throat as well. Did they kill him too? She hoped not, but she figured it was likely. Hoseok wasn’t there. She hoped he was found, and that he was okay. The others as well. She hoped they were all okay.

Jungkook. He wouldn’t be okay. If Catalina was really dead, and Jungkook survived, he would be having a hard time right about now. And she really, really hoped he did survive. She wished she could have said goodbye to him, and given him one last kiss, told him she loved him one last time. But she didn’t, and she hoped he could get through this. She didn’t want that sweet, intelligent, beautiful boy to be ruined by this. She hoped he could keep living.

The pain continued to subside and consciousness came to her in small segments. This was when she realized that she wasn’t dead. Through the haze of pain, she managed to open her eyes. Everything was quite blurry, but she recognized the room she was in. The lighthouse painting gave it away.

Her bout of consciousness didn’t last long. She fell back into a daze, the pain coming in waves now.

The next time she opened her eyes, the room was bright. Too bright. It hurt her eyes. But she could turn her head to the side. Jimin was beside her. His eyes were closed and his body was twitching every now and then. There was an awful scar across his neck.

The third time she opened her eyes, the room was dark and there was a hand gripping her own. The pain was still there, but it was dull. There was a new feeling slowly clawing its way up her throat. Jimin was still lying beside her. They looked at each other. It was his hand that was in hers. His eyes looked scared; Catalina was sure she looked scared too. She was beginning to understand what was happening to her. And when she looked into Jimin’s eyes, her suspicions were confirmed. His eyes were bright red. Bloodshot and terrified, but his irises were red.

Voices were chattering over her, but they were faint and garbled, as if she were underwater. She wanted to say something to Jimin, but she still couldn’t move much. He looked like he wanted to speak too. She found that she could move her fingers, so she squeezed his hand, hoping it would provide some kind of comfort. He squeezed back. She felt a smile twitch at her lips before falling back into her sleep.

This sleep was painless, at least, as painless as it could get. There was a persistent soreness at the back of her throat, but otherwise, she was able to sleep peacefully.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Keep your feet planted and your knees bent,” Jungkook said. His hands were on her bare waist, his chest pressing up close to her to her back. She figured that wasn’t necessary, he didn’t do that to Hoseok, or Taehyung, but she certainly didn’t mind. Having him close meant she could hear his heart speed up. It meant she could smell the blood rushing to his face. It was cute. He was cute.

“When you’re on the water, and once you stand up and get your footing, just stay calm and let the wave move you,” he said. “It’s gonna feel like you’re falling at first, just keep your balance and carve your way down.”

“And if you fall off, it’s just the water,” said Jin, who was waxing his own board a few feet away. “No harm.”

“Right, no harm,” Jungkook said, his hand wandering to her butt.

She giggled and turned around to face him.

“Did Hoseok get this treatment when you taught him?” she asked with a wide smile on her face.

“Not that he would mind even a little bit,” said Jungkook. “But this is only reserved for my favorite students.”

“Ooh, so Jimin got this too,” Catalina said, winding her arms over his bare shoulders. He threw his head back and laughed. This was her favorite sound. The waves crashing along the beach, Jungkook’s laughter, his heart beating against hers. It was like her favorite song, a song she never wanted to end.

Catalina leaned up to press her lips against his, the board wobbling in the sand beneath their feet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pain in her throat was the thing to finally wake her up. She didn’t want to wake up, she was thoroughly enjoying her dream, but it was distracting. It was like waking up starving, but this hunger was all consuming. It was the only thing she could think about. She needed to take care of this first, before anything else.

When she opened her eyes, she was still in the same room. The lighthouse painting stared back at her, along with Taehyung’s other art. A charcoal sketch of Yoongi sprawled across a couch made her smile. She felt a body shift beside her. Jimin was still asleep, curled up to her side. Catalina pet his head, pushing his hair away from his face. His hair felt extra silky and his face was way prettier than she remembered. He had always been an attractive man, but he looked ethereal right now with his face relaxed and the morning sun illuminating his features.

Catalina sat up abruptly. She glanced at his neck. It was smooth and unblemished. No scar in sight. She felt her own neck. It felt smooth as well. She leapt off the bed and stumbled over to the vanity. Controlling her movements was difficult. There was a power behind every movement that she’s never felt before. It reminded her of playing a video game with the sensitivity on the controller turned all the way up.

She looked at herself in the mirror and let out a gasp. Her eyes were red, just like she suspected. Her skin was smoother than she’d ever seen it. Her hair was shiny and fuller than usual, laying just right over her shoulders and around her face. Radiant. She looked radiant. She wanted to keep looking at herself, but the craving she felt was getting distracting again. She needed to find something to satisfy it before she went insane.

That’s when she heard it. It was faint, very faint, but she was sure it was there. Downstairs. A heart was beating. A heart was pumping blood, which she could smell all the way from here. And it smelled divine. She needed, needed, to get a taste. She knew that if she could get a taste, the pain in the back of her throat would go away. The twisting in her stomach would subside.

She took one step toward the door before it swung open, revealing Taehyung.

“You’re awake,” he said with a smile.

“I need to go downstairs,” Catalina said.

Taehyung shook his head. “You shouldn’t. I’ll get you what you need up here.”

“I need to go down there,” she said again, moving toward the door. Taehyung closed it and put his back to it.

“No, you don’t,” he said, the smile falling from his face. “You don’t need to go down there. You will regret it if you go down there.”

Realization hit Catalina like a truck. That heartbeat belonged to someone. She didn’t want to hurt them, whoever it was. If she went down there, she most certainly wouldn’t be able to control herself.

“Who’s down there?” she asked. “I won’t go down there, I promise.”

Taehyung sighed and said, “It’s Jungkook. I told him it wasn’t a good idea to wait around here, but he insisted.”

Catalina felt her chest flutter. He was alive! He was here!

“Can I see him?” she asked. “I know I shouldn’t, but I promise I’ll control myself, you guys will be there…”

“That’s not a good idea right now,” said Taehyung. “Let me get you something to drink first, then we’ll talk. You look crazy right now.”

“No, I don’t!” she said, looking at herself in the mirror again. Her eyes were crazed, her pupils blown out bigger than the last time she saw herself in the mirror. Okay, maybe she did look crazy. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to see Jungkook just yet.

She turned back around, but Taehyung was gone. She went to the bed. Jimin was still sleeping soundly. He didn’t seem like he was in pain anymore. He looked peaceful, his little snores making Catalina’s nose scrunch in a smile.

Taehyung came back in with a full plastic grocery bag. He dumped it out onto the vanity and Catalina’s eyes widened. She lunged for one of the blood bags, not bothering with the valve on top. She bit right into it, her teeth piercing through without resistance. She gulped it down as fast as she could, squeezing every last drop from it. Nothing had ever tasted so good. Taehyung held the empty grocery bag out to her.

“In here please,” he said. “Don’t drip on my floor.”

Catalina threw her garbage into the bag and grabbed another one.

She sucked ten bags dry before finally feeling normal again.

Taehyung chuckled as he tied off the grocery bag and set it aside.

“You’re going to have to pee a million times later,” he said.

“Vampires pee?” she asked.

“I mean, yeah. Where do you think all that liquid goes?” he asked.

“I guess I never thought about that,” she said. “I’m starting to realize that vampirism isn’t as magical as I thought.”

“It’s really not,” said Taehyung. “Namjoon wrote some biology books on us. They’re in the library if you ever want to give them a read. I would highly suggest that.”

Catalina collapsed into the cushioned wicker chair in the corner. Taehyung sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at Jimin. He ran a gentle hand through Jimin’s hair, tucking it away from his eyes and letting his thumb brush against his cheek. All of a sudden, Catalina felt like she was intruding.

Jimin stirred, mumbling something under his breath and rolling onto his back. Taehyung took his hand and stroked his knuckles, keeping his eyes on Jimin’s sleeping face.

“Did you turn him?” Catalina asked. Taehyung nodded.

“It was selfish of me,” he said. “I know he didn’t want this, and I did it anyway. But I couldn’t lose him. Not again.”

“Again?” Catalina asked.

“I think he’s Adrianna,” said Taehyung. Catalina’s jaw dropped. He glanced up and noticed her shock. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

Catalina shrugged.

“I do,” said Taehyung. “I think he might be Adrianna. He reminded me of her from the moment I met him. And if he isn’t, then he’s my second soulmate. People can have multiple soulmates, did you know that?”

“I never really believed in soulmates,” said Catalina.

“Well, I do,” said Taehyung. “So, whatever the case is, I couldn’t lose him. He’s too important.”

“I understand,” said Catalina, thinking of Jungkook. She wanted to see him. But she was worried she wouldn’t be able to control herself. Her craving was no longer overwhelming, but she could still smell him, and he smelled incredible. She could still hear his heart beating.

“Who turned me?” she asked.

“Hoseok,” said Taehyung.

“Is he okay? I never saw him again since the beginning of the raid,” said Catalina.

“He is okay,” said Taehyung. “He was hurt really badly during the fight, but he healed up fast. He’s downstairs if you want to see him.”

“I want to see Jungkook,” said Catalina.

“You need a chaperone for that,” said Taehyung. Catalina wanted to argue, but she knew he was right.

Just then, Jimin’s eyes fluttered open.

“Taehyungie?” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

“I’m right here, Jiminie,” said Taehyung, smiling down at him.

“I’ll go find Hoseok,” Catalina said, slipping out the door. Neither of them seemed to have heard her.

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arch-venus25 · 4 years

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The Head and the Heart, Part 1

Hello everyone,

I am submitting this for @just-the-hiddles‘s The Damnit Jim, I’m A Vampire, Not A Landlord Fic Frenzy. I chose prompt “1....You can pay your rent in money or in blood.” I was inspired by all the prompts and will probably use them throughout the series. Basically I use the prompts as guide-lines.

This is the first time I have written and shared a fic online-- or ever really! It’s also the first time I’ve written anything modern so please let me know what you think! I hope I’m posting this correctly--I created the title art--LOL I’ve never done this before. I’m aiming to update the series each Tuesday. So here we go...

Series Masterlist: The Head and The Heart

Summary: The twins are taking a night off from their graduate studies-- or at least Tessa is; her twin sister, Antha, is just trying to keep her out of trouble. What starts as a night of good old-fashioned fun and flirting quickly changes as they find themselves at the doorstep of the Hollow House Bed and Breakfast.

Characters: OFCs Antha and Tessa King, original characters/vampires

WARNINGS: 18+ for suggestive themes and violence, cursing, implied drug use, implied rape, stressful/scary situations, vampires, and characters with incredible hair-- you’ve been warned. Read at your own discretion.

Word Count: 2770

Part One: Faced with Foolishness

“Well, you know Tessa, she’s being Tessa,” Antha murmured into her phone as she watched her twin sister cozy up to her flavor of the month; Tessa flipped her box braids off her shoulder, the beaded ends flirtatiously tinkling against every surface they met. As if watching a photo negative version of herself, Antha mourned her nonexistent reputation. Had she not spent years hiding in her books she may have been able to rival her uninhibited doppelganger in white hot-pants.

“Why do you let her do this to you? It never goes as planned, and next thing you know I’ll be cleaning you two up and feeding you McDonald’s at two thirty in the morning!” She didn’t need facetime to picture Doug wincing through the phone, pushing his Buddy Holly styled Ray-Bans up the bridge of his nose.

“So what you’re saying is how could I let Tessa do this to you?” She laughed, rolling her Havana twists through her fingers to fight off the June humidity. Talking to her best friend helped her forget just how long she had been holding it in line to the bathroom.

“Ant, look I don’t like that bar—you want me to come get you?”

“And leave her? I can’t do that—listen, if we don’t call you for a ride home by midnight just come get us. I’m exhausted and I don’t think she will party that long. Besides, you-know-who just showed up.” She watched as Franco the Flake appeared, wasting no time to linger over her sister—Tessa’s flavor of the month, forgotten within an instant. Antha’s eyes rolled like marbles as she turned away to better hear her friend on the phone; some fraternity boys nearby began fist-pumping into the air as the bartender served up a line of shots for them.

“Ugh, the Flake… well I can hear things are getting started on your end—I’ll keep my phone on me, just don’t drive. Leave her car and I’ll get you two—there’s maniacs out there especially on Friday night.” He warned.

“I owe you,” she groaned and hung up. Antha finally arrived in the ladies’ room, only two women away from her sweet release. She watched as the women cornered the mirror like crazed wanton things, bending and zhuzhing, adjusting their “girls” to their perkiest potential through scantily low apparel.

“Heeeyy…” She quietly greeted the woman that exited the nearest stall. The stranger gave her a haughty elevator eye from head to toe making her feel severely underdressed for a Friday night out. When she threw on a sun dress today, she never anticipated her sister would abduct her after class and have them gallivanting across town. Tessa’s exact words were “Godamnit Ant, tonight we’re gonna have fun if it kills us!” A Cheshire Cat grin spread across her face as she floored the accelerator of her Neon, then cranked up the bass as the radio station started their basement remixes. Fun if it kills us.

Antha stared at her white sandals, her nail polish was chipped and at least three weeks old. Then she looked to her messenger bag hanging on the back of the door. It was covered in Community College film badges and club stickers, per her friend’s preferences. Antha liked her graffitied messenger bag. Like a billboard, it made her appear she had a life outside of her graduate studies.

She should have been at home, text books spread on her lap, feet up. She could hear Doug’s old Buick coughing its way up Momma’s drive, then fumbling outside the door, trying to knock with a third of Popov, case of Dogfish Head, and pizza in his arms. Then he would throw everything on the coffee table and announce “I brought Casablanca!” to which she would say “Oh, more white people movies?” and unphased, he would reply “Good god woman, it’s not Birth of a Nation!” Antha smiled, thinking of their weekly ritual of pretending to do research while gossiping long into the night until Zoey and Tessa would drunkenly Uber home. The distinct shamble, like the walking dead, would scrape up the gravel drive signaling their arrival.

“Hey, you almost done in there?” An annoyed voice yelled over the door, cutting through her reminiscing. Antha could see the reds of the stranger’s eyes between the door crack.

Instead of lounging on the couch surrounded by good beer and even better friends, Antha found herself being hustled by some Fireball-turned-up twat—all under the guise of having fun. “Yeah, sorry about that.” She replied and flushed. She tightened the belt holding in the billowy fabric of her flowy, mid-thigh, sunflower-printed sundress. It was passed down from her grandmother to her mother and so on. Looking like she walked off the set of a 90’s music video, she admitted that at least she was cooler than the other girls sweating in their skin-tight jeans and heels.

Some pretty young thing burst through the door past the line and vomited into the trash bin next to Antha while she washed her hands. It was only nine o’clock. That was a bad omen. When she caught her reflection in the mirror, she realized she pouted just like Momma in those sorts of situations. She dampened a paper towel for the poor thing and could hear her mother’s words repeating in her head: “When you’re faced with foolishness—you take care of it.” Her mantra: Take care of it. Antha’s mantra: Do what Momma says. Tessa’s mantra: If it ain’t fun don’t do it.

Antha applied her vanilla lip gloss as she thought on her mother. She made a promise as Momma was lowered in the ground that they would graduate. It was her dying wish that the twins became modern women with college degrees and to have options; to escape the laboring of farming and perhaps even the rinse and repeat of corporate Delaware. That’s all there was in their state: Farming or banking.

She tucked her shoulder-length braids behind her ears; she truly missed her dreadlocks, but ever since the time Tessa’s boyfriend mistook her for his girlfriend, she cut them off. She was always the one to compromise. Not tonight she decided. Tonight was going to go her way. They would wrap up this foolishness by midnight.

Antha sighed and knew it was time to face the havoc of the bar when a chatty patron pawed at her sundress asking if it was “vintage”. She replied, “Well it’s old as hell if that’s what you mean,” and hurried out the ladies’ room into the sweltering cacophony of nightlife.

Fighting across sticky tile and sweaty rednecks she made a beeline for the bartender. “Mar, can I get two?” She bounced on her tip-toes to cut through the crowd huddled around the length of the tacky wooden bar. Maria motioned to the other side because she couldn’t reach through. Antha continued to fight her way through the herd. She could barely hear over the din of the 2016 campaign commercials and sportscasting when Maria slid two cocktails toward her. The southern comfort and coke cocktails reeked with vanilla syrup, Tessa’s favorite. Antha stared into the melting rail drinks and realized she didn’t know what to order herself because she was always the water-boy for her twin.

“Hey, did you see what’s-his-face is in town?” Maria interrupted her thoughts.

“Sure did.” She groused and tilted her head in the general direction of where she saw Tessa and Franco last. Through the bodies, for a moment, the crowd parted and the two stared.

Stepping back from her esteemed role as the older sister, by barely two minutes, Antha admitted to herself that Tessa always looked good. Her off-the-shoulder top exposed a flawless ebony collarbone, shoulder blades, and arms. As if she was the Queen of Sheba incarnate, her tiny wrists were decorated with gold bangles. Her earrings matched the beads in her hair, reflecting light in her hazel eyes. A waterfall of thick box braids fell down her back and over her shoulders, past the tops of her thighs. Her years of dance complimented the country-chic white cut-offs that revealed just a hint of under cheek when she bent across the billiard table.

“If I were a man, I’d pray for her to bite my head off quick and painless.” Maria laughed, her ponytail frizzing from the heat of her work; her hands rapidly dipping then shining high ball glasses.

“But that’s not her style.” Antha replied wryly.

“You’re both good girls. Now you keep her out of as much trouble as you can—I’ll send Kyle ‘round to your table with beers, just let me catch up here!”

Maria was right: they were good girls. All of Tessa’s shenanigans aside, she never forgot cake for a birthday and with everyone’s break-ups she always had a bottle of Jack stashed with a shoulder to cry on. Tessa was the one that painted Antha’s nails and always lent her the best outfits when the event called for it. On occasion she was even known to deliver soup when her sister ran a fever.

Tessa was the heart of the operation and Antha couldn’t begrudge her just because she was the head.

For better or worse, they were sisters.

Antha reluctantly clutched the chilled drinks and felt a pang of relief in the sweltering bar. She couldn’t see her sister at the billiard table with the onslaught of shuffling patrons, so she decided to move toward her booth. She narrowly missed being covered in appletini as the DJ scratched in one more summer top ten into his rotation. Before she could move forward a voice pinned her in place.

“Your sister’s the worst, you know that?” A nice-looking guy glared at her. His teeth gleamed pink in the red bar lights. Antha bet he had a handsome smile on account of those white teeth, but he was not smiling now. She squinted through the hazy dance floor and recognized him as the guy Tessa arrived with before Franco appeared.

“Hey John, don’t fret, Tessa’s just catching up with an old friend—he comes into town every so often, don’t get upset.” She yelled back at his face as kindly as she could manage over the blare of the oncoming band tuning their instruments. For some reason he didn’t seem to believe her and his chest instinctively puffed up.

“John? I’m José!” He replied. Antha felt embarrassed for both her sister and herself. She grimaced unintentionally, realizing she had said it all with very few words.

She tried to defend their position with a weak excuse. “José, I’m bad with names and faces—” but he stormed off before she could piecemeal a string of bullshit. There goes another Mr. Last Month.

This was having fun. Antha doing damage control on last month’s flame, while Tessa stoked a new one. All of the nice memories of her sister evaporated in the heat of the interaction. She grumbled to herself, as she had grown tired of babysitting, not just Tessa but the men-children she dated. When she finally confirmed her party’s booth, she parted the shadowy sea of basic bitches.

Tessa was giggling like a school girl when her sister dropped the sweaty glasses onto the ratty old table. Franco at her neck like a leech. I hate this guy, Antha thought to herself. He turned his hot gaze on her, “Hi Antha, didn’t see you there.” His drawl was thick like humidity. She thought about giving her drink to Tessa’s date, but now that she could see he was it, she plopped down and selfishly sipped one of the nasty cocktails without offering the second.

“Oh hey Brian,” she said playfully, “where’s your camera?”

“Ant, now you know this is Franco, stop playin’!” Tessa tore her eyes away from him for a split second, but after she threw her daggers she was back ogling him like a dog does a bone.

“Sorry, it’s hard to keep all these blue-eyed, blond, gentlemen straight.” Antha marginally resisted saying yokel under her breath.

Tessa had a type. Beyond all logic, light eyes were the buckle in her knee, the hitch in her breath; and Franco was at the top of her list. Antha assumed he was the Porsche in her garage amongst a long list of Ford’s, but she honestly didn’t know the whole story. All she knew was that Franco showed his face sparingly and only after dark. He would disappear for weeks at a time, which earned him the endearment The Flake.

Now, Antha hadn’t dated enough men in her young life to sort them by color and size, but Tessa had. To her credit, her tastes were diverse, she did her research and knew what she liked. No one blamed her either. With that hair and those legs, Tessa could have anyone she wanted. The great appeal of Franco didn’t add up to Antha though. She found him suspicious. She thought his truck was too loud, his jeans too torn, and his eyes much too heavy.

Franco made idle conversation, inquiring after the twins’ classes as if he cared. His blond, three-quarter parted hair was glossy under the dim lights. When he pulled his tooth pick from the back of his ear and chewed on it, it made him look like an old-fashioned mobster—well until that Delmar twang spilled out of his hillbilly mouth. There was an allure about him; all of his parts matched, but his smile unglued those pieces. A smile that never quite reached his eyes.

Antha found herself sizing him up, drinking the disgusting cocktail faster than she wanted. I bet he has plastic zip ties and rope in his truck bed, she thought. She didn’t truly know why the image popped into her mind, it was just a feeling she got when his eyes were on her; made her feel like a snack, as if he would eat her alive right where she sat. No more Unsolved Mysteries for me this week, she insisted to herself.

“Mmmm-hmmm.” Was the best response she could offer when he spoke to her directly. Tessa continued chatted about her business management courses as he deeply stared at her. Antha figured there was no real room for her in the conversation so she took out her world cultures text and flipped to her last page. She liked hanging out, however her final thesis was demanding all of her energy. The page fell open to vampires in the section of Egyptian mythology. She thought how ironic as her eyes shot up at the man sitting across from her.

“So, there’s this bonfire by Slaughter Bay, I thought you ladies could come with.” Franco suggested lazily like it was too exclusive to be excited about. “You can shotgun babe and we can put Antha and her friends in back.” He eyed the textbooks growing damp on the table. Antha finished the first SoCo and started the second just to cope with him. “You could call up the girls.”

“Zoey… Zoey... Zoey!” Tessa dramatically said into her drink and then laughed. Antha couldn’t help but smirk as Tessa explained to him her girlfriend was like Candyman and could be summoned via a pint of beer. The joke was partially lost on Franco.

Before Tessa could agree to go Antha piped up, a little less shy now that her liquid courage had kicked in. “Sounds awfully romantic, but we can’t.” Before she could continue she was interrupted.

“Hey girl haaayyyy!” Zoey appeared as if out of thin air and snatched one of the beers sent over by the bartender. “You goin’ nowhere without me—not after I Ubered across town!” Her two rando friends hollering and sloshing their drinks.

“How the hell do you do that?” Antha insisted, amazed that their friend appeared.

“Uhhhh, never you mind—we can make bonfire plans later—its ten o’clock, I’m here and Bieber is playing! GET UP!” Zoey declared, the glitter from her eyes dusting every surface.

“Keep an eye on my friends.” Antha told Franco as she abandoned her books to be dragged to the floor. This was the moment she decided she was getting them all out of there; she didn’t like the sound of a bonfire with him and she certainly wasn’t allowing Tessa to go on her own either. She sent a pre-written text message to Doug: “Get here.” Which was their code for its really going down, I need back up.

Twinning Taglist: If you want to be added or removed just let me know; please share with anyone that might be interested. I would love any and all feedback so I can learn and become a better writer. Thank you! I tagged some people that I thought would be interested in this. @myoxisbroken @just-the-hiddles @vodka-and-some-sass @nildespirandum @yespolkadotkitty @latent-thoughts @emeraldrosequartz @villainousshakespeare @hopelessromanticspoonie @caffiend-queen @poetic-fiasco @lokimostly @dianamolloy @marvelgirlonamarvelworld @brightsunanddarkmidnight2-0 @cateyes315 @mooncat163 @nuggsmum @plastic-heart @myraiswack @wolfpawn

#landlord vampire fic frenzy #twinning vs vamps #arch-venus25 writes

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bitterbloodrose · 4 years

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THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE

(concept album, it’s about these lovers called the “demolition lovers” and the girl died and the guy kind of makes a deal with the devil and the devils tells him to bring him the corpses of a thousand evil men”)

Helena: it’s about Gerard and Mikey’s grandma who died and Gerard basically says that its this “angry letter to himself” cos he didn’t do enough for her. My favorite part is the bridge into the final chorus and you should also watch the MV its actually Art.

I’m Not Okay (I promise): its very angry and loud cos the narrator is basically saying yeah I know you got problems but fOr FUCKS SAKE I HAVE PROBLEMS TOO YOURE NOT SPECIAL. My favorite bit is the bridge again. Especially the trust me. Watch the MV its designed like a movie trailer.

Cemetery Drive: this is my favorite song on the album and probably one of my favorites of all time cos the LYRICS DUDE “singing songs that make you slit your wrists” and it’s Literally about how the band had to go on this really long road trip I hate this stupid band

Ghost of you: not the BEST song but the MV IS ACTUALLY ART LIKE ITS ACTUAL ART. its just a sad song

Thank You for the Venom: fuck me this is another one of my favorites. This is straight rock right in the veins. The adrenaline will KILL YOU. Apparently this was a diss at the bands critics. The fucking guitar solo makes me ASCEND. Also tHE LYRICS AGAIN.

You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison: hehehheehhehehe gay sex song. It’s literally about gay sex.

THE BLACK PARADE.

Okay fuck this is genuinely genuinely one of the greatest albums of all time. And I would say this even if I wasn’t such a slut for them. Literally everything is perfect and once again its a concept album. They wrote this in the paramour mansion too lol. I’m not joking this is an ACTUAL masterpiece musically and lyrically cos it deFINED genres. Its about this “patient” who dies and joins the black parade and his story of how he died and everything. You have to listen in chronological order.

The End: basically the dudes dead. He did fuck all with his life and he’s dead. He gives No fucks about peoples opinions. The FUCKING LYRICS IN THIS DUDE. “If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see you can find out firsthand what its like to be me” “when I grow up I want to be nothing at all”

Dead!: the transition to this makes me actually ascend. Basically about how the dude wasn’t important in his life and did absolutely nothing. I love it cos it takes this perspective instead of the one thats like “oh you’ll always matter”

This is How I Disappear: bloody hell THIS SONG DUDE THE LITTLE DETAILS. Basically about reaching out to a loved one. The BRIDGE IN THIS HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

The Sharpest Lives: probably one of my favorites on the album. Its basically about living the wild life. The fucking lyrics again. “A light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be” “the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead” “so you can leave like the sane abandoned me” FUCK THE GUITAR TOO.

Welcome to the Black Parade: idk how to explain this but say its an anthem. Its the Bohemian Rhapsody for the emos. Brian May himself agrees cos he played this live with them. This fucking song has so many layers fuck. Its about the dude dying but the LYRICS AGAIN. My favorite part is the post chorus and that has my favorite lyrics in it.

I Don’t Love You: its a ballad, and a weird one cos its basically saying you’re a bitch and I hate you. Its a very salty angry song and I love it cos its Not the normal thing to do. The bit where he goes “would you have the GUTS to say” is SO SO SO SO SO ANGRY like you can TELL he HATES her

House of Wolves: another one of my favorites. Another adrenaline buster. Its about the dudes arrival in hell and hes thinking about how he sinned and everything. The LYRICS and the FUCKING GUITARTRRRR makes me wanna BUST A NUT. Basically the band said hell looks like a fiery jazz club with demons and sinners lol.

Cancer: the Sad Song. The one that makes me wanna sob. Its about how the dudes dying and he’s saying goodbye to everyone. The LYRICS AGAINNNN.

Mama: good lord this song. Fuck. Its a masterpiece. I have No Words ar ALL. Its told in the perspective of a soldier who’s gonna die. And fuckkkk dude the lyricsssss and the GUITARTRRRRREDNEJSJJSSJJS FUCK THIS SONG IS SO GOOD god I wish I could hear this again for the first time

Sleep: this album just does Not Miss. its basically about how the dudes resigned to the fact that he is a bad person and nothing he does will ever change that. The words at the beginning are a recording of gerard way from the paramour mansion when he got sleep paralysis and night terrors. Its such a sad sad sad song cos he’s ACCEPTED his fate and at the end you can hear him scream “wake up” but you can BARELY hear it but its THERE and the dude is trying to wake up but he CANT-

Teenagers: this is just so MESSY and BEAUTIFUL it’s literally about how gerard saw a bunch of teenagers and thought they were scary lol. Again the LYRICS AND THE GUITAR SOLOOOOO

Famous Last Words: ah yes. The song that very literally saved my fucking life lol. The lyrics are so fucking powerful fuckkkkkk. Also YET ANOTHER GUITAR SOLO.

DANGER DAYS: THE TRUE LIVES OF THE FABULOUS KILLJOYS.

yet another concept album are we surprised. This ones hard to explain but basically its about this comic gerard wrote set in 2019 (this was released in 2011) and the worlds gone to shit an apocalypse happened and the world being ruled by this tyrannical corporation (sound familiar?) the Killjoys are a gang of rebels who go round being anarchists and rebels basically. Its very topical I think.

Na na na na na: makes me want to burn down the government. And commit arson and kill the rich. The lyrics are literally about that. A whole BANGER

Planetary Go: its a party song about life being too short basically

Destroya: hehehhehehe sex song again. DONT play this out loud. But fr this is another rebellion ANTHEM. Its all about fighting. And its amazing.

Kids from yesterday: makes me wanna cry. It’s about how far the boys have come. Again lyrics “ you only hear the music when you’re heart begins to break”

Vampire Money: this is the funniest fucking song in the world. So basically Stephenie Meyer wrote Twilight with Gerard as Edward cos she was a massive fan. And she asked him to play edward too but he refused and finally she begged them to do the soundtrack but they refused again and instead put out a diss track for twilight lmfaooo i fucking love them.

Desolation Row: its a cover but its better than the og and the music video is my sexuality.

Light Behind Your Eyes: saddest fucking song oh my god it was written to a fan who was dying

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serahne-is-here · 5 years

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Rant incoming - Veronica Mars Season 4

Now that we know the show is probably never coming back - and as sad as I am to think that, thank god - I just wanted to talk about the way fans are being treated by some people who enjoyed the season, and by Rob Thomas himself.

I mostly want to tacle the elephant in the room : the idea the the only reason fans are upset is because Logan is dead. And thus that the fans who are upset are only ‘shallow Logan fangirls’ who didn’t even watch the show for the right thing anyway. In order to try and counter that, we had plenty of meta written from upset’s fans perspective, explaining everything they disliked about season 4, to try to prove that Logan’s death isn’t the main reasons fans are mad.

Here is my two cents on that : Logan’s death is exactly why fans are mad. But not for the reasons pro-seasons 4 folks think.

I’ve been a fan of she show since it aired, on french TV, the episodes in the complete wrong order, because of course it was. I was eleven I think, and I was at that stage where I loved badass ladies on TV shows. There was Buffy, who kicked and kissed vampires, there was Charmed, who kicked and kissed demons, and there was Veronica.

I didn’t like Veronica as much, at first. It was a bit too real, and full of stuff I didn’t fully understand, but I liked Veronica as a character, I liked her relationship with her dad, with her friends. I liked that Veronica seemed more ‘normal’ and grounded in reality. The show stuck with me, despite its short-run, more than Buffy or Charmed did.

I came back to it a few years later, in high-school, and I absolutely fell for it again. I loved the characters, Neptune’s atmosphere, I loved Veronica and Logan together of course - they were one of my first true OTPs, the kind you read fanfictions for and that you cry about in the middle of the night. I was so sad that the TV show has been cancelled. I understood why, of course. At that time, I wished I was American, and that I could have been one more viewers to help the ratings, I was stupid, but I loved the show so much.

And then, the movie. I learnt about it late, once it was completely funded already, but I was absolutely delighted. I watched all these videos on youtube, I watched the cast tell me how amazing the fans were, and how much they loved them, and how special we were. There was this stupid ‘Who is the best love interest ?’ stuff used for promotion that I thought was a bit stupid, but I didn’t care.

I was high on love.

And how god, was this movie a love confession. I didn’t care that Jason looked a bit sick, I didn’t care that Kristen clearly hadn’t recovered fully from her pregnancy - actually, I liked seeing them as adults. I loved seeing Mac, Weevil, Wallace, even Dick, I loved that everyone was so happy to be back. Was the movie perfect ? Heck no. But you could feel RT’s intentions behing : to give us something that would make us happy.

And happy it made us. And proud. Because the fans made this happen. They brough back Veronica Mars by love, and the Veronica Mars’ cast returned this love at the fullest.

And then, season 4.

Listen to me, season 4 wasn’t great. The mystery was very messy, the ‘new’ cast mostly uninteresting or underexploited. Veronica wasn’t really herself, Logan subdued. There was some racist-ish, misogynist-ish stuff lying around, that I didn’t really care for.

But listen. I have loved this show for fifteen years. The show loved me back, I knew it, because everyone involved with it told us so for years. So, by love, we were able to close our eyes. There had always been some unfortunate stuff in earlier seasons : the whole ‘this feminist faked being raped’ business, Dick being framed as sympathetic, class and race issues being handled very clumsily... but I think we all could see, at least, the good intentions behind it. We could tell ‘well, at least Rob Thomes is trying’ ( note that this is a weaker argument in 2019 than in 2003, I won’t lie ). We were not about to trash this show that we have loved for fifteen years for some plotholes, and mischaracterization either. It’s fine, we’ll write fanfics to fix it, we told ourselves.

And then, the ending.

Logan is a fan-favorite. He has been a fan-favorite since season 1, we love Logan, and we love Veronica and Logan together, and we followed his entire journey, from being a ‘psychotic jackass’ to being the kindest, bravest, purest soul on earth. We love Logan, and everyone knew it. Veronica was the brain of the show, and Logan was its heart. He made us cry, he made us laugh, we made us fall in love with him so much that it hurt. And when you see the promo around the movie and the crow-funding, and even the one around season 4, it’s clear that everyone knew that.

How.

How can I still believe that Veronica Mars loves me, when they, willingly, understanding fully what they were doing, killed - with no ceremony - the character they knew we loved more than anything. It was the end of the season. I was still smiling from the wedding, and I guess I was thinking to myself ‘well, the mystery was underwhelming, but at least we got some LoVe to make everything better’. Despite all the flaws of the season, I still thought Rob Thomas loved me, see. That the season wasn’t that great, sure, but that he still had tried to make me happy, and that this wedding was the proof of that : yes it was rushed, and Veronica’s characterization wasn’t satisfying, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed.

By love. By LoVe.

And then the fucking punch in the face. It’s like realizing that the friend you had for all these years didn’t care about you at all, despite them telling you how much they valued you, and how much they owed you. That was someone I thought was on my side, who decided to spit on fifteen years of relationship for... for what ?

I don’t even know.

This is what hurts the most. Not Logan’s death, not really. Just the way RT’s decided to destroy everything we built together during these years. The Marshmallows carried this show with their bare hands for years, until the movie, the peak of our love story. And after everything is done, and that people are hurt and angry, and sad, the only reply we get is ‘you weren’t the fans I wanted from the beginning’, as if we weren’t good enough to be fans of this show, as if we were shallow and silly, and not focused on what is really important.

Sorry to break it to you, Rob Thomas, but ‘noir’ fans didn’t save your show. We did. The best relationship in Veronica Mars was never between Veronica and Keith, or Veronica and Logan, it was between the show and the fans.

And it seems like you blew it.

#veronica mars #Logan Echolls #rob thomas #I just really needed to write it out of my system

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darksaphire2002 · 5 years

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👅: top 5 kinks/turn ons 🍀: do you have good luck, bad luck, no luck at all, or do you make your own 🛍: favorite store(s) [online//physical] 🧸: your main/favorite toy growing up, why 🚬: bad habit you want to break 🎮: the greatest time you had playing a video game 👹: 6 things someone would put in a pentagram to summon you 😱: biggest fears

Oh my... okay, here we go lol!

1) My kinks lol. This is both a fun one, and a scary one to admit because y'all are gonna get a glimpse of just how freaky ya girl Saph really is, so here we go:

• Blindfolds

Blindfolds are probably my #1 kink. There's more excitement in the mystery of what comes next than there is in the anticipation of expecting something you're familiar with.

Please, only do this with people you TRUST.

• Fire play

I enjoy being set on fire. Lol I know it sounds crazy for people who have never heard of the idea, so lemme break it down for you. You coat the area you wish to set fire to in 100% alcohol and ignite it. The fire will only burn the alcohol and not your skin.

This of course can go very wrong very quickly, so DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES try this at home by yourself. If you're curious, go to your local dungeon (trust me, they're around) and set up a tasting session with someone who is familiar and practiced with this particular kink. It doesn't hurt and it feels amazing!

• Monster kink

I mean...this one is self explanatory. Ninja turtles, sentient slime monsters, lizard men, vampires I love all monsters, but I draw the monster fucking line at zombies and mindless killing machines.

• Violet wands (electro stimulation)

Violet wands are a lot a fun and a great starter kink to satisfy even the freakiest of sensual adventurers. They have interchangeable glass heads of various shapes that send out controlled jolts of electricity across your skin. Some heads use more electricity than others, so it can go from a soft tingle, to a jolt of pain very quickly. So it's important to start slow. But it's fun.

• Pumps

This was a hard one to pick, and let me tell you, it's not for the feint of heart. Pumps can be used on male and female genitalia and can be taken to both extreme and soft measures.

The purpose of a pump is to draw the blood to the area of choice, making it much MUCH more sensitive than usual. The area will swell up and, in prolonged use (not recomended,) will engorge.

I don't usually take it quite that far, but you get the point lol.

2) Do I have good luck, bad luck, no luck at all, or do I make my own...

I suppose it has to do with the scenario really. For example,

• Say I'm playing a game of blackjack at the casino: That can be either good, or bad luck.

• Say I wanna date Tom Hiddleston: Absolutely no luck whatsoever.

• Say I'm being attacked by a man in an alley and there happens to be a baseball bat in my hand: I'll make my own damn luck and start swingin.

It's all about perspective. >;)

3) Favorite stores!

Okay, I love shopping. I have tons of favorite stores, but I'll try to narrow it down for you:

• ebay!

This is more for fun, but if you're looking for a laugh, check out their miscellaneous section.

• Amazon.

Amazon is my go-to for the majority of my shopping. If I can't find it in person, I'll find it for a quarter of the price here.

• Ross

I'm a fluffy girl, so my fashion stores are limited, but if you're looking for a good deal, Ross is the place to go. Nearly all of my streetwear clothes come from Ross.

• Rosegal

Rosegal is an almost identical site to Rose wholesale, the site I was originally gonna post, but they are closing down. Lots of good bargains here for women and curvy girls.

• Ranch 99 Market

Okay, so this is actually a grocerie store, BUT I LOVE IT. It's an Asian food market that carries everything from rice cake to fresh fish to durian fruit (gross!) They have everything you could ever want by way of exotic nummies. If you can find one in your area, check it out!

4) Favorite toy growing up?

Hmm....that's a hard one to remember because I grew out of toys at a very early age, but if i had to pick one....I'd have to say it was this round stuffed goose that my mom got me when I was very young.

It was eggplant shaped, white, fuzzy, and had no wings. Only two flat stuffed feet and a big orange bill. The backside of the animal was stuffed with fluff and plastic beans so it made that beanie baby sound when you hugged it. When I was a baby (4-5ish) I would chew on its bill for comfort until there was a bald patch on the fabric lol.

Her name was Jemima.

5) Bad habit I want to break

Okay so I'm not sure this is so much a bad habit as it is a part of my autism, but I have a tendency to talk a lot about certain subjects that I'm momentarily interested in and it can be off-putting for people.

I like to learn about everything in my spare time, so if a topic I'm knowledgeable about comes up in conversation, I tend to get a bit chatty. Not everybody minds this, but I sometimes make people uncomfortable and I hate that about myself.

6) The greatest time I had playing a video game?

Alright, so I'm not really much of a gamer. I have a PS4 and a SN emulator on my computer, but I don't really play a lot of games. I'm more of an "outdoor with a book" kind of person.

But I absolutely LOVE Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, and Yoshi's island. I got into those when I was younger, that probably why lol. A lot of the newer games don't really pique my interest as I have a difficult time sitting I front of a screen for so long.

But I will tell you a story about the time my friend made me play Until Dawn (fuckin scary ass game holy shit.) It was a scene where you (the player character) had to break into the family cabin and let the other members of your party in from the outside.

Okay, so no scary shit is happening yeah? We're exploring the cabin, trying to find a way to let the other characters in, and for some god awful reason, I decide to look under the sink in the downstairs bathroom.

A fucking wolverine jumps out from under the sink and scares the shit out of all of us.

IT WASN'T EVEN A SCARY PART! I screamed so hard and chucked the remote at my friends head for making me play. She laughed at me.

7) Six things someone would put in a pentagram to summon me?

Hahahaha okay this is a fun one:

• 2 litre bottle of Pepsi

• 1 green Bad dragon dildo

• A copy of Out of the Shadows

• A booklet of memes

• Lobster w/garlic butter sauce

• A box of daifuku mochi (peach mochi can be used as a substitute)

8) My biggest fear.

I have three. Spiders, heights, and losing my mom. I won't elaborate on them as they're pretty self explanatory. But yeah. Heights make me pee.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

That was a fun one!! LOL I hope I answered all your questions well enough ^_^

Thanks for the ask!

Btw, @ravn-87 you're next lol

#darksaphire2002 #ask

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oveliagirlhaditright · 4 years

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So... since a lot of videos that are being recommended to me lately, are about people’s ten most hated tropes and it’s on my mind... I’ve decided to do my own list. For no reason whatsoever.

1. Fridging... do I even need to explain why I hate female characters being killed off, just to cause a man pain or further his arc? No. It can happen with guys--think Sydney Bristow’s fiancé, Danny, from Alias, who died and set her whole story into motion--and sometimes it can even be done “right” (like with Aerith Gainsborough from FFVII, or something, where she was maybe slightly fridged... in that she somewhat died to bring Cloud pain. But more than that, she died to save the world--and actually had agency with that--and knew she was going to die, and bravely went through with it, anyway)... as “right” as this annoying trope can be done. But for the most part, I hate it and get so mad when authors use it.

2. Lack of Communication Kills... There is no more annoying plot in the world, then when all the drama and your entire goddamn story happens because people can’t open their damn mouths and have an actual conversation with each other. -sigh-

2.5 And with the above one... though not as bad for me: when a character is saying all these glowing things about another one--and maybe says one bad thing about them--and of course the other character only hears the bad stuff. Or when a character gets there at the wrong time: like, someone is kissing their significant other... and their significant other clearly didn’t want it, and told them no, and isn’t even kissing them back... but the main character is going to miss all of this and think they cheated when they didn’t. We’re just going to call these two together “plot convenience”.

3. The “Can’t Ever Have Sex” trope... I hate this one so much. And not even because I care about sex. I really don’t. It’s just annoying and unbelievable. A lot of the time, it was done in the late 90′s to early 2000′s, where networks thought if they let their two main love interests have sex, the audience would lose interest in the rest of the thing and stop watching there (and look, I feel if you think your fans are only watching your movie or show, just to see their two favorite characters have sex, that’s kind of your problem right there). But I just find this a cop-out, and am glad most writers have moved away from this--because if you’re a good writer--you can keep your audience invested and let your characters have sex, dangit. But Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) not being able to have sex with Angel, because he’ll turn into serial killer vampire Angelus is dumb. Max and Logan (Dark Angel) not being able to sleep together, because Manticore put a deadly virus inside of Max that only targets Logan’s DNA is stupid. Jace and Clary (The Mortal Instruments) not getting it on until the last book, because first Jace was her “brother”, and then because he was possessed, and then because he had heavenly fire inside of him, etc.... why? Just why? And a lot of these are in danger of getting into “sex is evil” and/or “sexuality in women is a bad thing” categories.

4. Love triangles. I get why people love love triangles. I do. And I can sometimes even enjoy them myself... but I’ve just seen them too many times now to really care about them. More often than not, they annoy me... especially if people are being abysmal to each other--so you’d wonder why Person A loves Person B at all, if they treat them like that--and there’s cheating involved. I also... just don’t believe that it happens so often in life, that right when Character A and Character B realize they’re in love with each other... A Character C just happens to be in love with one of them, too, and chooses then to let them known. Edit: Also, when the author clearly has a choice of who they want the person to end up with... so they make that person wonderful and the other one terrible, so you’ll hopefully choose what they want, which sort of defeats the whole point of the love triangle to begin with. Have both choices be great, so you struggle with the character and get why they’re struggling.

5. The “I’m leaving you/breaking up with you to protect you” trope, that’s usually coupled with “And of course, I’m not going to tell you this is the reason I’m doing this--I’m just going to break your heart, for no good reason--instead of actually treating you like an equal and giving you a choice about how you want to live your own life.”

6. I don’t hate this one as much--in fact, I might not even hate it... but I still don’t like it--but whatever trope it is, that has one girl and two boys in a group of three, and two girls and three boys in a group of five: where the girl always has to be the gender that’s outnumbered for some weird reason.

7. Villain monologues... though to be fair, I also do this a lot in my own writing. And I get why it’s easy to do... Because most of the time, you don’t unmask the killer--or whatever--until the end of the story, and you also don’t get all the clues to tie it together until then, either, so the only one who knows everything has to fill you in on it... but it’s just so unbelievable. And even moreso, if a murderer is confessing to a cop, or whatever, knowing full-well that this will throw them into prison for life or even give them the death penalty... when anyone else in this situation would say nothing.. or ask for a lawyer. Or even still say nothing with said lawyer. And with this one... when a villain would have actually killed their enemy, if they’d actually shut up and done it instead of gloating.

8. Chosen one storylines... just chosen one storylines. For one thing, I think they’re overdone and kind of lazy. They can also make your character seem like a Mary-Sue... because what are the chances that they, of all people, are the only one in the world who can do this thing? And it just annoys me, that in a lot of “chosen one” stories/prophecies or what have you, someone else could do all the work in defeating the Big Bad or whatever... but because there’s a prophecy, they can’t kill them no matter how hard they try! And then the chosen one can just come in and bonk the Big Bad on the head--dealing the final blow that they couldn’t have even inflicted on the bad guy, if the other person hadn’t done all their work for them--and then they get the credit for it. Like, it must suck to be the supporting character in a chosen one story. Surely they should all hate the chosen one, right? Especially since chosen one stories are also often “new to the world” stories, where everyone else has been fighting the Big Bad for years... but now out of nowhere, a chosen one can get introduced to the problem and in one second do what they in years were unable to do. I do, however, love love love stories that subvert the chosen one narrative.

9.Rape as a way to make a story “gruesome” and “gritty”. Rape in general, actually.

10. I’m someone who always wants and prefers a happy ending... but to be honest, some people in your narrative probably should die--and there probably should be some consequences to whatever happened--otherwise it feels too perfect. But on the flip-side of that, I hate stories with the most bleak endings ever... and when authors refuse to give you even a hint of a happy ending whatsoever--because “that’s life, bitches”--and even seem to want to shame people for wanting/expecting happy endings.

Edit: Honorary mention, that maybe somewhat goes with the “Can’t Ever Have Sex One”: senseless relationship drama in a ship--all the time--because for some reason, the author(s) think you can’t invested in a relationship that’s actually happy and healthy together. This can also be a “we fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up” one. There is a difference between relationship drama that’s needed for the plot, and relationship drama that’s just there because the writers think you’ll lose interest, otherwise, and because we gotta be “dark, gritty, and realistic. Because clearly there aren’t happy relationships in the real world. Clearly.”

Edit 2: The next honorary mention. The Damsel in Distress trope. I have no problem with girls needing to be saved in a story--I have less problems with this than most people do, probably--or a guy, if it’s the “Dude in Distress” trope. But if you refuse to give such a character any agency whatsoever, there’s a problem.

Edit 3: The “Girls Hating Each Other” trope.

Edit 4: A girl’s entire character being all about the boy that she likes... with literally nothing else, and really no other relationships, to her. I feel this is usually the fault of male authors who don’t know how to write girls at all.

Edit 5: When a story goes on much longer than it should (after its story has really come to a close)--and becomes the worst thing ever for this reason--and just refuses to end.

Edit 6: When love interests put their love interest before the fate of the world--refusing to make the tough choice they really probably should--that the author thinks is romantic... but really isn’t. And kind of says bad things about the characters and their love... like that they’re and it are selfish.

These are all the ones I can think of off the top of my head. There may be more. And I may edit this list, if I think of honorary mentions... or things that I think should have been on here more than the ones that I listed. But for now... this is good, I think.

#tw #rape mention #other honorary mention: abusive relationships. but I don't think I'm going to include it because it kind of goes without saying #and maybe teen pregnancy. maybe. though it might just be because my blood is boiling in thinking that James Patterson did that to maximum #ride of all people

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theseerasures · 5 years

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Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2019

i mean, everyone's doing these write-ups, right? might as well hop onto the bandwagon

towards the end of last year i had one of my typical existential crises about my media consumption: am i slowly disappearing up my own ass because i no longer care about most of the pop culture people like to discuss ad nauseam? but on the other hand, isn’t it more responsible to find the niche items made by non-mainstream and marginalized creators? on the third hand, wouldn’t i be much happier if i just watched FMA Brotherhood over and over again, preferably while starting a new Mass Effect playthrough at the same time?

the answer to all these questions is probably “yes,” but i decided to try something different going into 2019. for every week of the year, i would try to get through a year’s worth of content for some kind of media, be it comics, video games, TV, etc--they didn’t all have to be recent, or even new to me, but once i was done with that week i’d be done, even if i didn’t finish the content, and i’d make a judgement based what i’d seen on whether i want to continue. mostly, i was trying to avoid what happened to me with video games in 2018, when i was hating every second of playing Uncharted but still felt obligated to finish because everyone and their houseplant liked Uncharted or listlessly doing the Master Hunter achievement in RDR2 because the main quest made me miserable.

the actual outcomes of this Project(tm) are a little more complicated than anticipated--some media i could finish in a day, while trying to play through ALL THE CONTENT OF AN MMO understandably took much longer than a week--but it all kind of evened out. in the end i did 48 weeks of this, and used December as my catch-ups month to follow up on some things i didn’t get to finish. i thought i’d give my thoughts on each of the things i consumed this year as part of this project below in a concise manner--and yes, i know the people who’ve read even one (1) thing i’ve written are probably laughing right now, particularly given how long i took in this introduction just to get to me point, but i really am going to try!! it’s all an exercise in shameless self-indulgence, basically, but hey: if any of you want to chat at length about any of this stuff below, hit me up.

(quick note: you’ll only find media that i chose for this particular project below, so things i watched socially with friends--like certain film properties slorping me back into Disney’s gelatinous monolith--are not included)

Devilman Crybaby (anime, finished 1/5/2019): honestly i should have twigged onto what the year was going to be like when the first thing i drew from the metaphorical barrel was demon tiddies and apocalyptic existentialism. i was determined to dislike it for most of the year due to fundamentally disagreeing with its main thematic thrust, but i kept THINKING about it even months after. at this point i’ve kinda mellowed out. it’s definitely not a must love, but there’s enough queer metaphor and philosophical richness in it to make it worth checking out.

Attack on Titan (manga, 3 volumes finished 1/12/2019): this is the second time i’ve tried to get into this franchise and...yeah, no. i still don’t see the appeal. the fascistic overtones juxtaposed with absolutely no one having a sense of humor wigs me out to no end.

Young Justice (TV, 2.5 seasons finished 1/31/2019): honestly, what even is there to say? they’re my kids. they’re back and grown up and making even more terrible decisions. i screamed when i saw Babs in her wheelchair.

Black Leopard, Red Wolf (book, finished 2/10/2019): i tried VERY HARD to like this book, given how much i liked Brief History of Seven Killings, but it just...didn’t click for me. which honestly is fine, since i don’t think it was made for me either.

Dragon Age (3 games, finished 2/28/2019): i feel like there’s always a part of me that’s going to think of this series as “the other one,” but y’know. it’s good. it’s my second playthrough (as a mage for all three) and it’s good! i even went around killing all the dragons in Inquisition because Knight Enchanter was a blast. appreciate the higher queer content vis-a-vis Mass Effect, even though i couldn’t care less about any of the plot. Dragon Age II is the best one, do not @ me

Bitter Root (comic, 4 issues finished 3/1/2019): i love intergenerational dramas and i love stories about vampire slayers, so this was aces. my only complaint is the pacing was a little slow for a story that was going on hiatus after five issues.

Pearl (comic, 6 issues finished 3/3/2019): i know that he’s done great things and grudgingly admit that he’s probably a net positive in the industry but Brian Michael Bendis can suck my entire dick

Lazarus (comic, 5 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i really thought this was going to clench the position for comic of the year. it’s Rucka doing Highly Relevant Dystopia! it’s a corporate Lannisters AU! it’s a highly personal story about a woman with high privilege and little agency! what more could you want

Immortal Hulk (comic, 2 trades finished 3/ 4/2019): i vibed with the horror feel, but i don’t honestly think it’s THAT exceptional. being set in 616-verse means there was still ton of baggage i didn’t know or care about, since i’ve now swung more to the DC side of things

thank u, next (album, finished 3/5/2019): didn’t Ariana Grande get canceled this year for some reason? oh well, i liked her album

When I Get Home (album, finished 3/13/2019): i vividly remember listening to this for the first time and feeling vaguely disappointed that it wasn’t more like Seat at the Table until i realized that i was covered in goosebumps. still don’t understand the magic but it is Good

The Bird King (book, finished 3/23/2019): pretty much everything you’d expect from a G. Willow Wilson book--spirituality, the female lead finding Themselves and the Answer and learning they’re the same thing, etc etc. i’m slightly resentful that her Wonder Woman was so lackluster while this was so good, but whatevs

Psychodrama (album, finished 3/29/2019): possibly my favorite album of the year? dense and emotionally raw in a way i really appreciate. Dave has a Mercury and he’s younger than me

Mass Effect (4 games, finished 4/7/2019): wow guys did you know that Mass Effect is good! it is. all of it is actually, even the Mass Effect 3 ending, another controversial finale to a big franchise that i will obstinately defend. even Andromeda, which isn’t AS good as the trilogy but still has a lot of heart. all its bugs have been exhaustively patched since launch anyway

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV, 4 seasons finished 5/13/2019): i’m...still kind of mad about this finale, but can’t exactly deny that this show is one of the best things to ever happen to me, or television probably. i didn’t even mind new!Greg that much! tho he was probably the nail on the coffin of me jumping onto the Nathaniel train.

Knights of the Old Republic/The Old Republic (3 games, finished 7/4/2019): did you guys know that KOTOR II was my first ever video game? i feel like that...explains a lot about me. anyway, the first game is a classic and the second is a deconstructive classic and playing either of them is basically a fun way for me to turn off my brain these days. even the MMO wasn’t as much of slog as i worried it would be. the Imperial Agent storyline had some nice surprises and i dig the general atmosphere of ruthless pragmatism and crushing loneliness.

Wanderers (book, finished 7/13/2019): Chuck Wendig is a very well-intentioned man in dire need of a strict editor. still good tho! some VERY punchy emotional bits and an ending that still leaves me with vague existential terror.

Code Geass (anime, 2 seasons finished 7/20/2019): i feel like this is on the polar opposite of the spectrum as Devilman Crybaby, because i don’t think Geass is GOOD on like, any basis, and i actually find its central moral message kind of abhorrent? but some part of my lizard brain LOVED the High Imperial Family Drama (it’s been a good year for me and Lannister types, hasn’t it? well, with the obvious exception of--never mind), so...yeah. have i discovered the true meaning of guilty pleasure

The Farewell (movie, finished 7/23/2019): how could i not a) watch this and b) love this and c) feel emotionally cold towards this at the same time because the situations depicted were so similar to mine that i ended up feeling kind of alienated

The Nickel Boys (book, finished 8/8/2019): i STILL haven’t read Underground Railroad, but here i am a book late and a dollar short to appreciate Whitehead’s new book. the man’s stylistic versatility is jaw-dropping and i appreciate the plotting in contrast to like, 90% of the litfic out there that’s just “protagonist sad in different milieu”

Durarara (anime, 2 seasons finished 8/31/2019): it’s fucking bonkers and i loved pretty much every second of it? even the second season, where i finally got the BruceNat AU i deserved??? the first anime i’ve seen where everyone was relatively soberly dressed. the answer was love and having feelings and asking your middle school best friend to hurl you like a projectile so you can chop your girlfriend’s head off with a demon katana

Lover (album, finished 9/1/2019): i feel like with all the Discourse surrounding Taylor Swift re: she’s the devil incarnate or re: she’s good, actually the fact that she makes fucking bops gets kind of lost in the conversation. i have no vested interest in her as a person but i liked Lover, even though London Boy was “what if Style but stupid”

Are You Listening (comic, finished 10/2/2019): my actual choice for best comic of the year if i were giving out awards like that. it’s coming of age! it’s grief! it’s queers! it’s trauma! it’s magical realism! it’s cats! it’s expressive gorgeous art! Tillie Walden has an Eisner and she’s younger than me

High School DxD (manga, 2 volumes finished 10/10/2019): i don’t even know how to talk about this series?? i actually kind of came around to the whole “main character is a perv but goes hard for consent” by the end of the second volume, but it’s still...bad. i only can have lingering conflicted feelings about one Japanese adaptation of Christian mythology per year

Ghosteen (album, finished 10/18/2019): much like Immortal Hulk i thought it was fine but over-hyped. it’s Nick Cave doing his Nick Cave ethereal music thing. i still can’t tell what any of the lyrics mean, except Jesus is there sometimes

Watchmen (TV, 2 episodes finished 10/29/2019): i am nOT FUCKING CAUGHT UP so please watch out for spoilers. it is on my high priority list of things to be caught up on tho--i appreciate that the plot is blatantly unsubtle but still manages to give me aneurysms and i appreciate the political overtones just kinda...balances on a razor thin wire and also gives me aneurysms. i wanna say i have no expectations and would be fine if it does a full dive into the horrible bland depths of the both-sides porridge, but i’m sadly a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof

Syllabus/Making Comics (2 comics, finished 12/24/2019): it’s funny--even before Making Comics came out i was like “man i miss Lynda Barry” and then BAM. it’s incredible how her work just makes me feel taken care of, even when we’re wrestling with tough topics or she’s demanding that i draw a Batman in 30 seconds. kudos for immediately shooting to the top of my gift list for my sister also

Allegiance/Choices of One (2 books, finished 12/24/2019): fun and largely inoffensive, but i was honestly hoping for more. the level of Empire apologia going on was too much for me, someone who thinks Mara Jade is the best Star Wars character of all time (still?????? still). it reeked a little of Zahn believing his own hype as the only valid guy in Star Wars Legends of whatever

Aldnoah.Zero (anime, 1 season finished 12/24/2019): turns out i also can only have “trash but my trash” feelings about one Japanese mecha show with higher art pretensions and patriotism verging into jingoism per year, and this one ain’t it. it’s not as good as Code Geass and Code Geass ISN’T GOOD. at least Geass attempted character complexity and moved at enough of a breakneck pace to distract me from its questionable bits. Aldnoah is just...bland, and nothing gets accomplished or revealed in 12 episodes, except the baffling and contradictory motivations of the main bad guy.

Baldur’s Gate (game, unfinished): yet again something i really wanted to like, given *gestures at all the BioWare above*. i think it’s mainly the Seinfeld issue, where it actually predates my own experience with video games and was so formative for the Western RPG genre that what was innovative just comes across as kind of staid now. i didn’t DISLIKE it, and will probably play the sequel since it’s supposed to be more character-driven, but by the time i finished the vanilla campaign i just didn’t have it in me to squint at more tiny avatars on the screen, so the expansions ended up a no-go.

most prominent thing i noticed about this list is that only one 2019 movie made it on the list and ZERO 2019 video games did so. the former i’m okay with because i currently live with two film people with whom i’m happy to tag along to the cinema. the latter bums me out a little more, because there WERE a few things i wanted to play this year, but all of them came out just as my semester was reaching its catastrophic boil, so i had no time. maybe i’ll use my free time after the New Year festivities to catch up on those.

to conclude: this worked out pretty well! i ended up finishing all but one of the things, and only a few were bad enough that i have no interest in seeking out more content. i’ll probably do this again in 2020--we’ll see if the scheduling can withstand a full year of grad school hell

#let's break out a new tag for this since this isn't really meta #conspicuous media consumption

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zynita · 5 years

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My Decade in Books

I was tagged by the lovely @brightbeautifulthings and her blog is filled with exactly that, so please jump over and give her a follow.

The 2010's were good years - they weren't perfect by any means and they involved a lot of growing up/learning what it means to be an adult, but I think that I came out of them a much better person and better prepared for what the world has in store for me. Looking back, I read a lot of amazing books! When I went back to make my choices for this post I was surprised to find that I read 333 books from 2012 through 2019! 2012 was the year that I created my Goodreads account and since then I have used it to track my reading progress over the years, so looking back at 2010 and 2011 may be a bit hazy, but there are a couple of special reading moments near and dear to my heart that I can share. So let's get into this~

The Rules: Respond to the prompt “My Decade in Books” however you want and then tag some people! I decided to share a book and/or series which defined the year along with some of my memories/reasons as to for doing so. You can do that or make up a response that is entirely your own, there is no wrong way to go about it.

2010: Yep, like many I got caught up in the Twilight craze and while I still find sparkly vampires a bit odd/silly, this series did motivate me to start reading again on a regular basis. Prior to that, I had been in a car accident in the late fall/early winter of 2006 and then my daughter was born April 2007. Unfortunately, my mental health was not the greatest as I was dealing with post-partum depression in combination with my pre-existing depression and possible/slight post-concussive changes. In 2010 I was given a boxed set of the series as a birthday gift and reading it ultimately helped spark my interest in books again - this was one of the first steps to breaking out of my apathetic depression. I will always be thankful for Twilight because it showed me that I was still capable of feeling real living breathing changing emotions.

2011: This year was marked by the completion of my Associate's Degree in Accounting/Business Administration that spring and acceptance to continue studying accounting at the local state university. My daughter was 4 years old and about to start preschool. We were able to get a place of our own moving in with my wife (then girlfriend) into a cute 2-bedroom apartment - we became a family. One of the best memories I have from our time living there was how at night I would read the story of the boy wizard who lived in a closet under the stairs to our daughter. This series would go on to define so much of our lives as it became her favorite for a number of years - the first major book series she read entirely on her own, eventually going on to do so in Spanish as well. We became a small flock of Ravenclaws and she has bloomed into quite the reader herself. I will always have a soft spot in my heart and memory for this series because of the story it tells and for the part it played in our story.

2012: I previously read King's Dark Tower in the mid 2000's and the story deeply resonated with me. When I found out that King was planning to release a new Dark Tower book, The Wind Through the Keyhole, I knew that I had to reread the series. The series' story feels dark and gritty, the tale of a knight from a world that has moved on fulfilling his quest to reach the Tower, revered as the center of all worlds. There is a certain tragic nostalgic romance to the story of an old knight in a dying world haunted by his past questing with what initially seems to be an unlikely group, only to eventually come together as something more - as ka-tet. This is a series that I know I will return to in the future.

2013: If you go through my Tumblr history, specifically on my book blog, you will come across my reviews and a large portion of my reviews written in 2013 dealt with my read through of Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series - 22 books and 1 novella (Guilty Pleasures through Affliction). I first picked up Guilty Pleasures during a book sale in ~2011 and I recall reading it and a couple of the subsequent books (maybe 3 of them at most). At first, I was drawn in by Anita herself but when I came back to the books in 2013 and read the entire series I found myself intrigued by the many characters around Anita and her relationships with them. The series started as one thing and developed into something different - changing focus from a supernatural police procedural to being more character driven. This doesn't mean that Anita doesn't still go out and hunt the bad guys, but it is no longer the absolute main focus of the story and I am okay with that. Anita and her relationship struggles helped me to understand/come to terms with the concept that love isn't the same across all relationships, that people love differently and that is okay. It helped me to become comfortable in the knowledge that I can love others and it doesn't compromise/lessen the love that I have for my wife. For that reason alone, I will always have a strong admiration/fondness for Anita Blake. I plan on reading the two most recent releases (Crimson Death and Serpentine) some time this year!~

2014: This year was a very very difficult year for me and my wife and I spiraled into a deep depression. Due to my mental health difficulties I failed to complete my bachelor's degree program and had to leave school. I ultimately wound up doing nothing more than sleeping, playing video games, and attempting to read when I could. I remember that I was scrolling through Tumblr and I saw a post praising The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern - I was immediately enamoured with the cover, the starkness of the black/white/red, a circus, magic, and intrigue, I had to read it. My first read through took me 4 days because I never wanted it to end. This book helped me break a major reading slump through its beautiful lyrical prose of opponents turned lovers forged and bound within the fire locked behind the blackened gates of the traveling Les Cirques des Reves. I have read this book a total of 4 times and each time has only further deepened my love and appreciation for it - this book is my ultimate comfort read (though it may now have strong competition from her sophomore novel, The Starless Sea).

2015: At the behest of my love and my pseudo brother (I basically adopted him as the younger brother I never had) I picked up/started reading Robert Jordan's epic fantasy saga Wheel of Time which was ultimately completed by Brandon Sanderson following the death of Jordan. The series made up a great deal of my 2015 reading though I did make time for other books as well. What I particularly loved about the series was a combination of the richness of the world and the complexity of the characters. We witness these characters as they mature and grow into themselves ultimately becoming worthy of the title of ta'veren placed upon them by the Wheel. With the Amazon TV show on the horizon, I will likely pick up the series again and with subsequent readthroughs comes the opportunity to pick up on little things/foreshadowing that may have been missed before.

2016: This was another year where I didn't read a lot of books (only 38), but the majority of the ones I read were ones that I really enjoyed and Gail Carriger's Parasol Protectorate Series was a notable favorite. While I was working on my bachelor's degree I had the opportunity to take an upper division English course focused on Victorian Era literature and what started as a spark of interest became a warm comforting fire. Parasol Protectorate combined two genres which I had enjoyed on their own (historical fiction and paranormal/fantasy[?]) into something which felt entirely unique. I fell in love with the characters and thoroughly enjoyed the series - so much so that I have returned to Carriger's Victorian Era with my current read through of her Finishing School Series, an upcoming re-read of Parasol Protectorate, and a first time read through of the sequel series The Custard Protocol.

2017: So much of 2017 is honestly a blur... I was hired in July 2015 as a medical transcriptionist but over the following years would continue to gain increased responsibilities (with associated pay increases) allowing for some pretty notable things to occur leading up to my girlfriend and I getting married!~ We had been dating/living together in addition to having been friends for so much time before that it just made sense for us to get married and I can't picture my life without her in it. My favorite read that year was E.K. Johnston's That Inevitable Victorian Thing for so many reasons. The novel plays with history as we know it and speculates on what would have occurred had colonialism never taken root and instead a utopia was formed under the British Empire - an empire without racism, homophobia, and classism built upon mutual respect and harmony. This book is full of diversity/representation/LGBTQIA+/etc. while exploring identity, orientation, and relationships in a respectful/open-minded manner. I have already slated this book for a re-read as soon as I finish my current read through of Carriger's works.

2018: This book is probably one of the most important books I have ever read. I can't remember how exactly I came across it but I knew that I had to read it as soon as I read the synopsis. I then shared it with my daughter (who was then 11 years old) and we decided to buddy read it. This book...this is the book that I wish I had had the opportunity to read when I was that same age attempting to learn about and understand my own sexuality. This book has also allowed my wife and me to have a continuing, open dialogue with our daughter (now turning 13 in April). I actually Tweeted this basic sentiment to Ms. Blake upon finishing the book and she actually replied to me!~

Since then my daughter has read the book multiple times and we bought her a hardback copy for Christmas. Maybe one day we can attend a signing and thank Ms. Blake for Ivy's story personally.

2019: My favorite of read of 2019 was Elizabeth Wein's Code Name Verity. ((I know, I could have easily posted and gushed about Erin Morgenstern's The Starless Sea which I absolutely love but given that I had previously mentioned The Night Circus I felt it prudent to discuss something else.)) When I was book blogging in 2013-2014 I remember seeing a lot of posts talking about it and its unique approach to storytelling. I remember picking up the ebook but I was so caught up in reading other things at the time that it sat on my TBR shelf. Fast forward to last year and I finally decided to take the time and read it. Color me 100% floored and angry at myself for waiting so long to read it! I fell absolutely in love with Verity/Julie, with the story that she wove, with the friendship between her and Maddie. The synopsis describes the book as "harrowing" and "beautifully written," descriptors that I wholeheartedly agree with. My wife knew how much I enjoyed it and I received a copy of the hardback edition which will eventually grace my bookshelf (sort of kind of need to buy one first).

So that is My Decade in Books! I am very bad about tagging people in things, but if you saw the post and feel so inclined to make one of your own please do and tag me in it to check out. If you stuck through this post to the end, I greatly appreciate it and wish you well in the new reading decade.

*Zyn/Melanie*

#mine #zynita #brightbeautifulthings #my decade in books #books #booklr #bookish #novels #reading

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mininky · 6 years

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Tainted Souls (Taehyung)

Summary: Vampires were no longer a myth, the world knew that they were very very real. The world wasn’t ready for it, and they really weren’t ready to find out that all those whacky conspiracy theorists finally got something right. A lot of celebrities were, in fact, undead. Including BTS. Touring constantly, always on the move it was painfully difficult to ensure that they received their meals. Until their manager learned of a business that specialized in vampire fine dining.

Pairing: Vampire!Taehyung x Reader

Warnings: Oral sex (female/male receiving), biting, multiple orgasms, swallowing of bodily fluids, no condoms (don’t do that!)

Word count: 6.3K

Series list: Prologue, Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook

"What book are you reading?" You look behind you on the plane to see Taehyung standing up at an awkward angle so he can peer over your shoulder. "Dracula." You move your sights back to the book in front of you, trying not to smile at the laughter ringing out above you. "Dracula, really? So, does that make you my Mina?" "If I was your Mina then I would have gathered a group of men who would have become so completely infatuated with my kind, sincere, and oh-so-innocent character that they would murder you for me. Well, technically for her fiance, but let's be honest they all did it for Mina." You try to go back to reading but close the book when you realize your eyes have been dancing over the same page for the last few minutes. You put your bookmark in and look up again to see Tae giving you a boxy grin. "Yeah, well I suppose in a sense you are Mina. You could definitely have a bunch of dudes do your bidding." "Is that so?" "Yup." You watch Tae whip his head back around and can barely hear Namjoon saying something about 'sit down' over the hum of the engine. Tae, however, stays up anyways. It can't be comfortable, he's having to stand at an obscure angle/crouch in order to avoid banging his head on the overhead. "But I appreciate that you aren't trying to kill the vampire and you aren't really Mina. Besides, cute and innocent gets boring really fast, doesn't it (y/n)?" You watch Jin's hand clasp around Taehyung's collar and jerk him back into the seat before you can even respond. So instead you have to settle on pulling up your KKT (and paying the outrageous WIFI fee) so you can have the last word. "Why kill the vampire when it's so much more fun to fuck them?" You wait a few moments, praying that Tae also paid for in-flight WIFI before you hear him sputter and cough behind you. Checkmate. You and Tae have been playing a game of cat and mouse from the moment you met. It's hard not to be drawn to him. He's charismatic, handsome, sweet, and he has this air of unflappable confidence that comes close but never fully crosses the line into arrogance. And you...well you've found your new favorite past time but you never thought about the implications it would bring about later in time. You and Tae flirt back and forth with each other constantly, but you've never crossed the line. Come close, dipped a toe over, sure...but you refuse to be the first one to break. Oh no, Tae will be the one to break. He's not like the normal fuck boy type, you'll give him that. In fact, he's not even really a fuck boy, he just has the tendencies. He's got this really sweet, sensitive, kind side to him. He's also very intuitive, the type of person to know exactly what you need or want before you ever say it. But he's also the type that's unapologetically himself and it's naturally an easy attractant for women. He could have any pick of the litter, and he knows it. He walks like he knows it, talks like he knows it, but he never actually comes out and says it. And the thought of conquering him, of being the one that he begs for. The one that gets the cocky side of him to bow down before your feet. Oh yes, you'll break him. Unlike Tae, who flirts shamelessly possibly just for the fun of it, you do it for more perverse and personal reasons. You're attracted to him. More than you'd care to admit too. You want him, you want all of him. You're not sure where in the game that started happening, but you know it's far earlier on than you care to admit to yourself. But he doesn't need to know that. Not until he's worshiping you, and then you'll bare your heart and soul. But he needs to break first. You want to wash off that cocky grin from his face, you want to see him vulnerable and bare to you. And as much as you'd like to pretend it was just a game of conquering the man who can conquer all it was now much more than that. So you've been pushing harder than ever, trying to get him to cross the finish line. You think he probably understands what you're doing. And it seems to you that he's drawing it out to see if you'll break first instead. You've had to slow back down in retaliation. Well, that and the fact that you had been so caught up in the thrill of the chase that you've had witnesses. Technically just one witness actually, just on a few occasions. Unfortunately, poor Jungkook has been caught in the crossfires of your little 'chases' a few times now. So now you have to be a little bit more careful. Poor Jungkook. The last time he walked in on the two of you had been the worst. He'd found Taehyung feeding from your thigh when he came over to see if Taehyung wanted to play a video game of some sort with him. As if it wasn't bad enough of a position with your dress hiked up and your expensive black lace and chiffon underwear on full display it of course just had to happen right when he finally started looking you in your eyes after he accidentally saw the racy photo you'd sent Tae a few weeks prior. It wasn't that bad, but you're pretty sure that he's maybe seen boobs in real life a handful of times and that didn't help anything. He's a shy, innocent thing under all that bravado he puts on stage. Jungkook still refuses to talk around you, he just turns into an awkward statue and runs away which has caused his blood type endless entertainment recently. She's been using you just to chase away Jungkook, and it's only made you tread more lightly in your game with Taehyung. Your thoughts are brought back to the present when you hear your phone buzz. You glance over at Jungkook's blood type on your right and Jin's blood type on your left to see both of them sound asleep before pulling up the text. It wasn't a dick pic per say. It alluded to it, but the angle cut off right after the thatch of well-groomed pubic hair. Interesting, so he doesn't shave completely. Somehow, you kind of anticipated him to be an all or nothing kind of guy. Not that you're complaining. The real question is how to respond? You take a moment to ponder your options before a text pops up.

[Tae-Tae] Speechless? [you] No, I'm just debating if you shave and trim or just trim. What a cocky little shit. You'll break him one day, you swear it. [Tae-Tae] Care to find out? [you] Hmm... [Tae-Tae] I'll show you if you ask me. ;) [you] Nah, I think my own imagination is probably better. [Tae-Tae] :( It's not tho [you] Whatever you say, babe. [Tae-Tae] babe? I get nicknames now? What can I call you? How about baby doll? [you] Gross, veto. [Tae-Tae] Princess? [you]...I can work with that one, but it's not my favorite. [Tae-Tae] My queen? [you] Much better. I accept from you my humble servant.

You try to stifle your laughter as Taehyung suddenly appears down the aisle. He shoots you another boxy grin and leans over for a moment to whisper in your ear. "See, I told you. You can get guys to do their bidding. All you have to ask and your wish is my command. My queen." You look at him for a moment before staring back straight ahead. "I'd rather hear you beg." You watch his pupils dilate for a moment when you spare a short glance back his way, his head cocked to the side before he finally moves back over to his seat when a stewardess starts walking by.

---------------------------------

A few days later and you're finally back in the comfort of your own home. In a strange way, you aren't actually that happy with it. Being out and exploring and...being with Tae...well it's fun. But meanwhile back at the ranch you just go through tedious monotonous tasks of daily life. Not that it's that bad, it's really nice to be able to catch up on all your favorite shows and finish a book in your favorite spot on the couch. It's just...well it's boring. You've been going and traveling nonstop for the last couple of months, and sure it could be stressful. Especially trying to get through an airport while not being caught with BTS and the constant reminder of 'no scandals, we hired you to be discrete' from the ever so lovely management. (Honestly, with some of the stunts you've seen the other girls pull you're surprised that there hasn't been a scandal yet. It's not that they aren't discrete, it's more that...well there's zero tolerance for bullshit from some of the other girls when fans get out of hand.) But with all its rules the job is still worth it. You got to explore museums and sites and food all over the world. Your bank account is certainly not a concern any time soon. But more importantly...with Tae. And when you're back at home...well you're just a regular old girl again. When you're with Tae it's like everything is an adventure, his optimistic boyish charm is infectious. When it's back to just you in your apartment though it's like everything is slightly muted. Your thoughts wander back to Taehyung for a moment. The tour had ended with things getting...slightly awkward between the two of you. You're pretty sure that both of you are getting tired of this little game, but both of you are too stubborn to try for something more. Each conversation with him lately has kept you on edge, both of you seem to be daring the other person to just say it first. You know you're in deep shit, you don't just like him...you love him. And that puts you in an odd spot. This is after all your job. And he is after all famous and under a microscope constantly. And then there's his personality. It's almost like there are two sides to him. The flirty grand charismatic face he shows the world and then the much more serious, sometimes stoic side he'll occasionally give you a glimpse of. But what's real with him? You can't help but wonder if he actually likes you, or if he more just enjoys teasing you. And this dilemma really isn't his fault, it's yours. You started this. You were the one challenging him, instead of just coming forward and being honest. But being honest is scary. Rejection is a serious possibility, and you're not sure if you'll ever be able to recover from it. I mean, sure you will, but...man it won't be easy. And let's say he does reject you, do you have to go back to your old routine at Tainted Souls all over again? You're in the middle of a deep True Blood binge under the confines of the pillow fort you've made when a knock at the door interrupts your thoughts and has you pausing the show. You have no clue who it could possibly be. Your friends rarely show up unannounced and all of them have day jobs so considering that it's only 1:00 in the afternoon it couldn't possibly be them. And you didn't order any food, you actually forced yourself to cook for once just a little while ago. You peak your head out the pillow fort and squint at the door (not that it's helpful in any way but you're hoping you can somehow will the person away if you do this long enough.) Another round of knocks, louder this time, ring through the apartment before the doorbell is rung no less than five times in under thirty seconds. You grunt as you crawl out of the fort before marching over to the door. Swinging it open you're ready to give an earful at your intruder before seeing that damn boxy grin. "Tae?" "Hiya, my queen. I was just bored and in the area and-" "How do you know where I live?" Taehyung stops for a moment and you see a mischevious glint in his eye. "I have my ways. Are you going to invite me in?" "What is this, some old-timey vamp shit? Yes, please, I invite you in oh undead one." Tae chuckles as he steps in, his shoulders brushing against yours momentarily before he steps aside to take off his shoes. "You aren't off the hook that easy though. How did you find out where I live?" "It's on your resume, duh." You watch him survey your small apartment before his eyes light. "Is that a pillow fort???" He skips with glee over to the area, a childlike innocence and enthusiasm taking over as he crawls down and shuffles into the area. "What are we watching?" "We're not watching anything. I was watching..." You stop yourself short. How do you explain to a vampire that you're basically watching a vampire porn show that got a disturbing amount of things about vampires right? I mean, the Dracula thing was already a bit embarrassing enough but hey, it's a classic! "What, cat got your tongue? Come on, come join me in the fort, my queen!" You glance over to see him patting at the side next to him before finally giving in with a reluctant sigh. You didn't exactly make enough space for two people though, so you're squeezed rather tightly next to his side. "So...were you watching porn?" "...no..." No that would almost be less embarrassing, unfortunately. "That...that wasn't the answer I was expecting. Oh...oh my god. You WERE weren't you?" You're struck with horror as he moves to press play. Why god? Why you? Why didn't you destroy all the evidence before opening the door? Why didn't you hide the remote? Why couldn't you have been watching anything else other than- The sounds of moaning fills the room. Of fucking course, this just had to be the worst possible scene for it to start on. And of course you just haaaad to watch the whole series over from the beginning and this is the part where they find the tape of the girl who died after sleeping with a vampire who chains her up has very rough sex with her and then drains her. "Holy shit, this is...this is really kinky. It feels like I'm watching some of Hobi-hyung's stash, but worse. Wow. It's always the ones you least expect I guess." His eyes are glued to the screen as it finally cuts back to the police. "No!!!! No, no no no no no no no!!!" You're smacking Tae repeatedly on his arm, hoping that you're somehow making your illiterate rant get across to him. "No, it's a TV show. It's called True Blood! It's about vampires and okay it's honestly trashy and kind of awful but I mean, they got so much right. A lot of it wrong, but so much right too! Like synthetic blood, and vampires coming out of the coffin! And and and..." You stop at the sound of Taehyung laughing maniacally at your outburst. "Oh fuck off Tae. Even if I was watching porn I'm allowed to do so! Who died and made you my dad? Also, what ARE you even doing here? Don't think I bought that 'I was in the area' bullshit! You're not getting off that easy mister!" "Mister, really?" Tae sighs before cuddling closer into your side, his face pressing into your shoulder. "I just missed you, if you really must know." "Oh." What does that admission mean? Does it mean...no he couldn't possibly be throwing in the towel. "Oh?" You glance down to see Tae looking up at you through his messy fringe. You hadn't really paid attention when he first came in, but he looks paler, tired. "OH, you're hungry." He rolls his eyes before he cuddles even closer and throws a leg over you. You pray that your heart will stop thundering soon because you know for a fact he can hear it. "Not really. I still have two more days before I need to eat. I told you, I just missed you. Is that such a crime?" "You look hungry. Tae, you don't need to lie. If you just came because you need to eat that's fine, I'm sure you've been working harder now that you're back and-" "I told you that's not why I'm here!" His face snaps up, and you're suddenly reminded by his inhuman speed that he is indeed a creature not to take lightly as he's straddling you. His eyes bore into yours, flickers of annoyance tracing over his features. "Why don't you believe me?" "What?" "Why, why do you do all these games? You fuck with me, and you play these games, and god I can't get you out of my fucking head. Your taste, your smell, your laugh fuck it's like they're just running through my mind all god damn day. And then you have the audacity to act surprised? How could I not miss you? Is this all it is to you, just some game? Because I swear to fucking god if it is I'm-" "It's not just a game. I mean, it kind of started that way but..." You trail off, your eyes refusing to look up at him for longer than a few seconds. Tae relaxes at your admission, but his gaze never wavers. He's clearly waiting for you to continue, but you're too stubborn. After a minute of the two of you daring the other to speak first, he finally gives a small chuckle before throwing his face into your neck. "God, you just really want to make me say it first, don't you?" "Yes." Your words come out tiny and small, and you suddenly feel incomprehensibly stupid for just not being honest with him sooner. "Why?" "Because you're you. You could get anything, anyone. And...I don't know at first it was just to get someone as great of a catch as you to look at me and I was kind of bored with having just one client. But then...it just morphed into something more. The more time I spent with you the more I wanted you to really like me. Like really really like me, not just want me...you know? But...I guess...I'm also just really afraid of rejection. A game of cat and mouse keeps things easy and light-hearted, feelings don't really have to be involved." "I fell for you so long ago it's ridiculous. I just figured it was all just fun and games for you so I didn't admit anything. We're both idiots aren't we?" You find yourself grinning up at his words. "Yeah but...we can be idiots together." "I like the sound of that, a lot." For a minute silence just fills the room, although it's not uncomfortable. It's more the two of you basking in the realization that there are no more games. Both of you are finally being honest with one another. And then after that warm and fuzzy glow starts to ebb away do you realize the rather compromising position you're in. He's still straddled over your hips, his hair falling down and eye's just barely peeking out, his hands resting on the side of your head and face just a few inches away. You're not sure what to do in this situation. Do you ask him to move? Do you kiss him? Do you touch him? What would be the most proper? Because really all you want is to feel his lips, but you're not sure if that's what he wants. You're pretty sure he can see each thought playing out based off of the way he cocks his head to the side and lifts an eyebrow. You've never been very good at concealing your inner thoughts. (Note to self, work on your poker face.) So you steel your nerves and finally say in a voice you hope doesn't give away your anxiety, "Tae?" When he hums in response you finally lift your eyes to him. "Tae, can I kiss you?" His smile stirs something in you, a frenzy of joy and something slightly more carnal caused by his fangs shining down at you. "Of course, my queen." He doesn't however budge. Clearly, he's going to make you work for it, and your stubborn side is starting to roll back in. You weave your hands into his hair (you'd like to note that it's oddly soft for all the chemical damage it's taken and you really should find out what shampoo he uses) to bring his lips down onto yours. The force of the movement causes a rather awkward clash of teeth, but neither of you seems to pay any mind. There's been too much build up, too much tension, to really care about little details like that. His lips are slightly chapped and he tastes faintly like mint. It's not long before the kiss deepens into something less chaste, tongues roaming and exploring and hunger starts to drive both of you. Your hands untangle from his hair and move to his arms before snaking around his waist to flip him over. There's something so euphoric about seeing him under you, at seeing the shift as his eyes start to shine red and the way his breathing starts to stagger under your touch. And it hits you, really hits you then, that he's yours. Maybe the world gets a lot of him, but right now you get a side of him that they don't. Your lips trail down his neck as your hands slide up his shirt to feel the cool skin underneath. The way his muscles clench under your touch coupled with his soft panting has desire pooling into your underwear. "You look so pretty like this." You grin as you peel his shirt off before leaving a wet trail of kisses down his torso. "Pretty, really? Wouldn't handsome be a more apt description?" His hands are wound into your hair, pushing you slightly further down as you get steadily closer to the waistband of his sweats. "Well, you are plenty handsome. But...I think you look pretty right now. Delectably pretty. Like a perfect meal presented to me." You linger at his pants, hands resting on the button before your attention flickers back to his face. "May I?" "Please. But I mean, really? If anyone is the meal here it's you." "The big bad vampire routine is unbecoming of you. Be a good boy though and you might just get a treat." The glare he levels at you has a giggle of elation bubbling up in your throat. "Really, still with the games?" "Do you want me to suck your dick or not Tae?" His head whips up as you slide down his pants and boxers, freeing his rapidly hardening cock only a mere few inches from your face. You'd like to note that he does, in fact, shave and groom. Guess the question is finally answered now that you're finally seeing the perfectly shaped triangle of hair in person. "Fuck, no I do." "Then just lie back down and be a good boy." He groans as he throws his head back, biting on his lip to stay quiet. You've always wanted to be the one to get under his skin, to make him fall apart, and now that you're finally here it's better than you ever imagined. You take a moment to just enjoy the site of him laying under you, twitching with barely controlled impatience. Your fingers ghost over his dick, lips coming down to pepper small kisses up along his thigh before halting right at his balls. His hips flex and shake the closer you get, precum beading up and falling onto his stomach. "Jesus, please (Y/N), please just fucking touch me. This is just torture, cruel and unusual punishment. I'll do whatever you want just please, please just touch me." "Whatever I want?" A cheshire cat grin is on your lips as you look at him. You get that technically you guys already agreed to be together, but hey you've been thinking for a long time about just what you would do when he finally breaks. And right now you're finally about to get what you've always wanted. "Fuck, yes, just please fucking touch me." "Hmm, okay, since you begged so nicely." You finally grasp his dick in your hand, tongue snaking along his balls before trailing up and enveloping his velvety head. The tangy precum smears over your lips as you lock eye contact with him, your smile growing wider at the long musical moan that falls out of him. Oh-ho, if Tae is already moaning he might just not be able to handle what you have prepared for him. You give him just a moment to calm down as you keep him resting in your mouth before finally sliding down to the base in one go. "Oh, holy fuck. Fuck, fuck, oh god. You weren't fucking kidding when you said you were a pro at sucking dick, oh my god." You stay stationed at the base for a moment before working up, setting an easy rhythm for yourself to breath in as you go up and exhale slowly as he reaches past your molars. The dull ache in your jaw is worth it for the sweet sounds he's gracing you with. You can feel your panties clinging onto you, your own need beginning to cause a different dull ache. But that's not important, what's important right now is staying in charge. You aren't about to pass up this opportunity that you've worked so hard to finally get. "(Y/N), if you don't stop I'm going to ah fuck!" Your hands massage his balls gently before his hips buck with force into your throat and his cum is filling your mouth in hot white ropes. His eyes are locked on yours as you finally pull away from him, giving small licks to clean up anything left behind before opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue. "All clean, my what a good girl you are." You can't help but preen a bit under the praise. There's something about hearing the words from Tae that make the (honestly almost unbearable) taste worth it. "But it's not fair, I'm almost completely undressed, and you're still in all of your clothes." His words come out whiney as he tries to grab the hem of your shirt, but you're quicker than him. You scooch your way out of the pillow fort, ignoring his whines of protests. "Come on Tae, you promised that you'd do whatever it is that I ask." You glance behind you to see Taehyung behind you, a deviant smirk plastered to his face as he tugs his pants back up. "Well, my queen, I'm hoping that your wish is for me to eat you out like a five-course meal." "No, but nice try. No no, I'd like something far less sexual, sorry to burst your bubble." You wrap your hands around his neck, fingers curling into the soft hair at his nape. "I'd like for you to take me shopping." "What?" "Shopping, I want to go shopping with you. More specifically I'd like to go out on a date with you. I think it would be fun to pick out some clothes with you. Oh, but I suppose I should tack on that I'd like to go to the new exhibit at the museum with you too if you have the time this month. It's not a permanent collection so I suppose that might have to take priority if you can manage the time." "You...you could have me do anything and you choose a date? I thought for sure you'd have me sit there and beg for you or something, or literally kiss your ass, or make me do something really embarrassing. But you...choose a date?" His shoulders are shaking with poorly contained laughter before he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. "Just when I think I've got you all figured out you pull something like this. You're a weird one, you know that?" "Well at first I thought about making you beg, in fact, that was my original goal. But the plan changed a long time ago. I realized I didn't want to make you beg, I would never want to hear something like that forced out of you. I want to hear that you want me because you want me, not for any other reason. So then I started thinking about what I really wanted, and I realized that even though it's selfish and even though you can't technically go out on dates or be seen in public with me I'd still really like to go out on a date with you. I understand though if it's not really possible." You say the last words quietly as you reflect back on your contract and the firm words from management. Dating and scandals were absolutely not allowed, and while you wanted nothing more to be with Tae you also understood the precarious place dating would put him in. "Hey, don't worry about it. We can definitely go on a date. I can wear like a fake beard or something." "What?" "Ooh, or maybe I'll learn how to do some special effects makeup and turn myself into an old man. With a big beard." Tae is talking animatedly, his hands smoothing down his imaginary beard. "No fake beard, please." "Why not, I thought girls like beards." "Yes well I don't. Especially not fake ones. That's just weird. But I'm sure we'll figure something...less...abstract out." You watch his gaze flicker back down to you, his fingers tracing over your jaw before dipping lower until they finally grip at the soft flesh of your ass. "Well, I suppose that we can figure it out some other time. I don't have enough time for a date tonight, I still have to be back for practice in a couple of hours. But that does leave me with enough time to continue where we left off. What do you say?" His breath is warm on your neck and the fire that had begun to calm down is roaring back. That familiar ache, the need to finally be one with him begins driving all action again. You try leading him to the bedroom, but his hands pull your hips back flush to him. "Always so impatient. Let me take my time with you." His tongue trails slowly down your neck, over the prominent vein before he nips down slightly on your collarbone. Each movement is slow, precise, and it already has you wanting more. You're not normally so greedy, you usually enjoy dragging things out more. But Taehyung is masterful at this slow, erotic torture and it's quickly becoming too much for you. Each touch to your skin tingles and burns, his hands lazily roaming and groping has your hips rutting into his. "Tae, don't be a fucking tease." "Oh please, you've spent enough time torturing me let me have some fun." His eyes lock onto yours before he finally strips your shirt off of you before his mouth latches onto a nipple. His tongue swirls around the bud before he's tugging it in between his teeth with enough force to have you cry out. His mouth twitches into a grin at your moan and suddenly he's off of your breast and picking you up. He doesn't, however, take you down the hall into your bedroom as you initially guessed. No, instead he's leading you into the kitchen and placing you on the counter. He just gives a small chuckle at your cocked eyebrow before explaining. "Listen, this might sound ridiculous to you but I've always wanted to have sex in a kitchen but considering that I live in the dorm or I'm always in hotels I don't exactly get that chance often. Also, I really want to fuck you in a bathtub while we're on the subject. Honestly just about every surface of this apartment, but the kitchen is a good place to start. Don't you think?" Before you can respond his hands drag your ass to the edge of the counter and his mouth is on your thighs. Each wet kiss, each small nip, closer to your clothed and dripping core has you shaking with want. "Tae, please. Please, come on baby, please." You're not sure if it's the begging, or the use of the pet name, or just his own desires that finally cause him to peel away your panties but you really don't care. You just care that you're finally getting relief. "God, look at you. You're dripping all over the counter. What a pretty fucking pussy, and it smells so sweet." He licks one long stripe over your folds before clamping down on your throbbing clit. Before you can even react he has two fingers slipping into you, strangled moans bubbling out at the dual sensations. With each loud suck on your clit, his fingers prod deeper inside you, scissoring and stretching in all the right ways. You can feel that familiar coil tighten and lurch at his ministrations. Each time his tongue brushes against you, each time his fingers prod in just the right spot, you can feel yourself start to unravel. You want to tell him how good it feels, how amazing he is, but words get lost in your throaty moans. "You're going to cum already? You gonna cum all over my fingers? Come on (y/n), cum for me." That's all it takes to have you finally fall into your orgasm. Thighs clenching, abdomen tightening, toes curling. Faintly you know you're screaming his name loudly, but you're too far gone in bliss to fully register that it's you who's making those noises. By the time your opening your eyes back up he's finally pulled away from you. His mouth is still shining with your release and you can't help but groan at the sight of him slowly fisting his leaking cock. His mouth is on yours in an instant, both of you groaning at the taste of both your orgasms. Your hips jut into his, the desire to feel filled by him is starting to drive you into a frenzy. You need to feel him, one orgasm isn't enough. Never really has been for you, but especially not when it's finally with Tae. "Tae, come on, please fuck me." The way he groans low and sweet has you clenching around nothing and desire trickling out of you once again. You watch, entirely entranced, as he finally enters. You're well prepped enough that there's no burn, just sweet sweet satisfaction. His head rested in the crook of your neck, peppering small kisses along the vein as he stayed still before slowly pulling back out. His hands wrap your thighs around his waist before he starts moving rhythmically. Each movement is harsher, faster than the last. Each thrust has both of you groaning at the sensation. You can feel him everywhere, so utterly full as he prods away at the right spot that has nerves on fire. "God, you're so fucking tight. And wet, holy shit. Can I...can I feed from you?" You can't help but moan at his words again. He looks so perfect, almost like a sculpture has come to life. The sweat is making his hair cling to his face, casting a glow to his tan skin. "You have to say yes, I'm not taking a moan for an answer." "Yes, please Tae." At the green light, he nuzzled back into your neck, his tongue snaking along the pulsing vein before his fangs sunk in. There's something about the mix of pain and pleasure that almost feels like a high each time. Sinful, dirty, perfect. And it has you tumbling into another orgasm around him. Clenching, moaning, milking Tae to finally come to his own. His tongue laps up the last of the blood, seeling away the bite as his hips begin to rut sloppily through his own completion. He stays lodged inside as he starts to soften and presses a few soft kisses on your lips. You feel not just satisfied, but somewhere into a place of warm and fuzzy bliss. "You know, it was worth the wait." He sighs at the sound of his phone going off and grimaces as he finally pulls out to look at his phone. "I have to leave now so I won't be late to practice. Can I...come back over tomorrow? I don't have the day off, but I do have a break in the afternoon." "Of course, just text me when you're on your way over. Don't push yourself too hard." Tae gives a boxy grin as he pulls on his clothes before weaving his fingers into your hair and pulling you into a heated kiss. "As much as I love seeing you naked, you should probably put on some clothes so you don't catch a cold. I'll see you tomorrow, my queen." You watch him leave silently, a smile plastered to your face. You certainly weren't expecting for this to happen when you took on the job. You weren't expecting these blossoming feelings of love to take over when you started to first tease Tae. But the world works in mysterious ways, and you couldn't be happier with the results.

#btssmutclub #taehyung smut #tae smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fanfiction #tae fanfic #taehyung reader insert #v smut #bts smut #bts vampire au #vampire tae #vampire taehyung

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venus-says · 5 years

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Aikatsu! Episodes 87-91

Even vampires can be adorable.

Back for another round of Aikatsu!

We're getting close to the end of the season and we definitely can feel it in these episodes.

Episodes 87 and 88 are a mini-arc that until now I don't understand why it exists. Not because they are bad, my problem with this is the same I have with the Akari episodes, this competition Mizuki created came out of nowhere and it doesn't feel connected to the events that happened in the most recent episodes back neither the episodes that come after this.

But even with this strange element to it, these are still great episodes. Episode 87 is great because it's a call back to the beginning of the series, and watching Soleil together brings a warmth to the heart, even though we see them together in basically all the episodes we just don't see them perform as much.

And 88 is nice to build up that aura of amazing-ness (?) around both groups and the idols who are a part of them. The coolest thing this episode does is set up this thing that legends can't be formed alone, you need rivals and partners and this is what this season is all about. It also contributes to the overall “this season is ending” feel I’ve mentioned before.

This episode is also great in the performance department, it's incredible how just by wearing different clothes you get a whole new feel about one live, it was fresh and fun even though it's still the same song we've already seen before.

In Episode 89 we're back to our regular world and we have one of the sweetest episodes ever, and it was an episode focused on Yurika which makes things more interesting. Everything in this episode was so endearing and I had heart eyes all the time. Yurika's love for her fans is so beautiful, I was watching that handshake event and I wish I could be there, even though what we've seen of it was basically just a montage of short scenes she was being so caring and considerate with fans that it seemed like such a good experience,

Another great thing about this episode is its message, once again they're bringing new perspectives to subjects that are always dealt with in fiction. Yes, changing is good, important, and necessary, but the best way to change is doing it little by little, and I can't stress enough how much I love this message. Overall a spectacular episode, probably my favorite from the ones in this post.

Episode 90 we explore another side of idol hood that is making music videos. I don't have a lot to comment about this one but I wish we had more episodes like this since it's not something most idol anime does (at least not the ones I'm aware of). I don' know how accurate the information they dropped is, but it was good to have some insight into this matter that isn't explored as much.

Last, and being sincere the least, is episode 91. This episode is veeeeeery anti-climatic. They've revealed the Aikatsu8 line-up in the most boring way possible, and after that, we got a bunch of stock footage that didn't add anything to the conversation. I already dislike the idea of Aikatsu8 and this episode contributed to making me dislike it even more. This episode could be entirely skippable if Iit wasn't for that conversation between Mizuki and Ichigo about the future of Aikatsu which was quite interesting (and also send my mind to really dark places since the moment we're living with the franchise right now).

And this was our daily dose of Aikatsu! Just 10 more episodes before the new gen takes over, I hope I don't get insane before getting there.

#Aikatsu!#aikatsu

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allieinarden · 6 years

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2018: Year in Review

Hey @fictionadventurer, thanks for the tag!!

No particular order:

Top 5 films you watched in 2018

Actually, I think the following five were the only films I watched in 2018 if you don’t count rewatches (yes, I still haven’t seen Infinity War).

ETA: the BEST movie I saw for the first time all year was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I can’t believe I forgot about that, they must have...erased my memory...

Black Panther: A solid MCU film. I'm considering rewatching it, I might have been more dazzled by it if I hadn't been watching it on a tiny airplane screen.

Incredibles 2: A sequel to compete with its predecessor it was not (maybe if I'd been wearing my glasses I would have been too blown away by the animation to nitpick the story as much) but the Edna-Jack Jack relationship was worth the ticket price.

Donnie Darko: Pros: great 80s soundtrack, a young Jake Gyllenhaal as a remarkably convincing and arresting vector for a teenaged existential crisis. Cons: If your entire story is only remotely comprehensible based on the bonus material then you didn't do a very good job telling the story.

Wreck-It Ralph: I can't believe I missed this one on the first go-round, my friend's been after me to watch it since like 2013. Nothing to write home about on the story end but the animation, the characters and the arcade-game world are a collective charm overload. Plus it did my heart good to see Jack McBrayer effectively playing Wander before Wander Over Yonder existed.

Ralph Breaks the Internet: See, I wish I could put the emotional plot of Ralph Breaks the Internet into the far more lovable arcade world of its predecessor, because in between the misfires was a great Alan Menken number and a pretty good story about letting go, even if they kind of beat me over the head with it. (Deeply disappointed by the way they dropped what would have been a really excellent B-plot, though. Felix and Calhoun got stiffed!)

Top 5 TV shows you watched in 2018

Arrested Development: I finally pushed through the rest of Season 4 just to watch Season 5, and it was so good that it made me rewatch the entire first three seasons. I was going to plow through the Season 4 recut but I couldn't make myself.

The Simpsons: Usually it's only the newer episodes that are on TV, but I was in a hotel room during a recent marathon on Fox and it was like a game of Spot the Cultural Reference, I swear I saw “I just think they're neat,” “I for one welcome our new insect overlords,” Homer melting backwards into the bushes, “Money can be exchanged for goods and services” and “Tramampoline” in context within just that brief sit-down, and all of it was somehow still funny. (Also, I really don’t understand why this was never a meme.)

Seinfeld: Obligatory watch in order to better communicate with my mom. Best episode: "The Limo."

The Good Place: [Vague spoilers—] Unlike many others, I don't think it's the funniest show I've ever seen, but it makes up for that by being maybe the most bonkers show I’ve ever seen. It started with a straightforward concept and by the second season it's radically switching up its entire premise every 3-5 episodes. (And fine, the handling of philosophical concepts is excellent, I’m actually learning a lot.)

Voltron: Legendary Defender: Say what you will but I really enjoyed Season 6.

Footnote: Where was Milo Murphy’s Law?!??!

Top 5 songs of 2018

Shadrach - Beastie Boys: You go watch that video, okay.

Don't Play No Game that I Can't Win - Beastie Boys ft. Santigold: Yeah, I went on a bit of a Beastie Boys kick this spring, but in my defense they were sleeping on this song back in 2011 and I will do everything in my power to make it the big summer hit of 2019.

When the Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin: Can’t think of a comment that wouldn’t take away from it.

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! at the Disco: I make fun of Panic! a lot but darn it they come out with a song and I listen to it 88 times.

All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands - Sufjan Stevens: Made me want to become a film director just so I could put it on a bittersweet montage of time passing.

Looking more closely at this phrasing, I might have been supposed to list 5 songs that actually came out this year but I’m just not very hip, I’m sorry. Did you know I still haven’t listened to the new Twenty One Pilots album because I needed to forestall my heartbreak?