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softbobamilktae · 2 years

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Sweet Talker

Pairing: Jin x OC

Genre: fluff, angst

Word count: 9.8k

Warnings: drinking, lots of shirtless dudes, brief mention of skinny dipping? (does that need a warning?)

Lyrics: Sometimes all I think about is you…late nights in the middle of June. - Heat Waves by Glass Animals

Summary: Isabelle is stuck working on a beach this summer, which wouldn’t be so bad, but everything about it reminds her of her first love. To make matters worse…it seems he decided to take a trip to said beach this summer.

A/N: special thanks to @jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger for the banner ^^

I opened the minifridge in the back of the snack bar. The beach was hotter today than it usually was, and everyone was running to the snack bar in search of cold drinks. I just wanted to be on the beach. Working on the beach was a pretty good alternate if I couldn’t be swimming, though. I could’ve been stuck stocking shelves at a grocery store today instead, which was definitely not something I wanted to be doing.

Once I’d rang up the customer, I leaned against the counter. As much as I loved the beach, I really didn’t want to be here. I’d seen it every year, time and time again, but it always reminded me of the boy I’d met the year I was fourteen. And to be frank, I hated remembering him.

My family lived less than a mile from the beach, so we’d spent nearly every day of the summer at the beach when I was younger. I hadn’t minded much. I’d loved the beach back then. This particular summer, a certain teenage boy and his family had come to spend a whole month at the beach. Being fourteen, I had been more outgoing than I was now, so I’d taken my chances and spoken to the boy, and of course, we’d spent the rest of the month together.

That had been six years ago, but I foolishly still wished to see him again. Because of it, I tended to avoid the beach now. As much as I loved it, I felt strange knowing I still liked a guy I’d known for a month many, many years ago. I was an adult now. I should’ve been able to get over a silly crush I had as a kid long ago.

I sighed and tugged off my apron after noticing what time it was. My break had started. I pulled the little palm tree pin out of my bun and set it down on top of my apron. In my opinion, they tried a little too hard to sell the beach aesthetic to travelers. The whole place was littered with pictures of palm trees and coconuts, and we didn’t even grow coconuts here!

Once I was outside the snack bar, I pulled my phone out to find about sixty texts from my best friend, Ellie.

“Isa. How’s the snack bar? I can’t believe you’re enjoying the beach without me! Save me a pineapple slushie. Mateo is working today. And he is (hot). Why did you never tell me? Did you know that the music store has whole pianos? Like, big, big ones! Isa answer your texts pleaseeeee.”

Ellie was spending her summer working at the music shop, so I wasn’t quite sure how she hadn’t known they sold pianos until now. I laughed as I scrolled through the flurry of emojis Ellie had sent before I finally responded.

“You already knew Mateo was hot. You’ve been pining over him since we were in high school.”

“Oh, look, Isabelle is alive!”

I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, I have a ten-minute break. We’ve had lots of customers today because of how hot it is.”

“You better get a tan for me since I can’t spend my summer on the beach.”

“I’m not in the sun much.”

“I don’t care. Get a tan.”

I laughed, looking up from my phone for a moment to glance around at the beach. I watched as people played on the shore and swam in the ocean. There was a game of volleyball going on, and there were a few people surfing. I paused as I came across one particular young man standing on the beach. He looked oddly familiar. He turned around then, and my eyes widened. Jin. I glanced back down at my phone for just long enough to type out a text to Ellie.

“I’ve gotta go. Text you after work.”

I didn’t bother waiting for Ellie’s response before I bolted back into the snack bar. What on earth was Jin doing here? He hadn’t been here for six years, so why was he here the one year I was working on the beach?

It would be ok. I could survive the next four hours and just hope he wouldn’t wander over here, and then I could go home. Surely he wouldn’t be here the next day, right? His grandparents lived here, so maybe they wanted to do something with him other than hang out on the beach?

Sadly, the world was against me, and Jin was at the beach the next morning. Not only that, but he also decided to come over the snack bar. As he approached, I realized that there was really no way he wouldn’t recognize me. I looked almost exactly the same as I had six years ago, just a bit more mature. And it wasn’t like I could escape and leave the work to someone else, either. No one else was working with me today.

I was mentally planning about five different ways to bury myself in the ground when Jin walked up to the stand.

“Hi, Isabelle! It’s been a while!”

Well, dang it. I wasn’t getting out of this now.

“Hi!” I said a bit too enthusiastically. “Jin, right?”

“Uh…yeah. We hung out together that one summer? Remember?”

“Oh,” I laughed nervously. “Yes, of course. I remember.”

He smiled. “Well, it’s nice to see you. It’s been a long while. You look…gorgeous.”

I glanced down at my work clothes and considered the bun I’d sloppily put in my hair that morning. “Sure, buddy.” Out of all the things I could’ve said in response, why had I said that?

He cleared his throat, and I had to keep herself from looking down at his bare chest. The last time we’d seen each other, he’d preferred to wear swim shirts. He clearly wasn’t fifteen anymore.

“Is there anything you’d like to order?” I asked.

“Do you guys have beer?”

Beer? Who did he think he was, an adult? Oh, wait, he was twenty-one. He was an adult….

“Yeah, we have three different kinds,” I informed him, taking one of each out of the minifridge and placing them all in front of him.

“Do you have an opinion on them?”

“Um. Jin, I can’t drink yet.”

He snapped his fingers. “Right. You’re a year younger than I am.” He picked up the one on the right. “I’ll just take this one, then. How much do I owe you?”

“Three bucks.”

“For the little thing? Wow!” he placed three dollars on the counter and popped the can open.

“Yeah, we have to stay in business somehow,” I told him as I put the money in the cash register.

“That’s true,” he nodded. “Well, see you around!”

I nodded, secretly hoping that I could save myself the embarrassment and never, ever have to see him again.

Ellie was beyond enthused when I told her what had happened that evening.

“This is the Jin? Like Jin who wore his swim trunks inside out at the beach Jin?”

I thought about this for a few seconds. I didn’t recall such a thing happening. “Do we know more than one Jin?”

“You don’t remember that? It was on your birthday!”

“Was it?”

“Yeah. Your mom made him walk all the way back to his grandparents’ house to change.”

“I suppose I may remember this vaguely.” I took a deep breath. “What do I do?”

“You ask him on a date, silly!”

I looked at Ellie like she was crazy. “No.”

Ellie sighed. “Are you ever going to go on a date? You’ve never been on a date with anyone. And Jin’s not even from here, so if the date goes badly, he’s leaving in a month! You’ll never have to see him again!”

Part of me wondered just what would happen if the date went well, though. He would be leaving then too, and I’d be left adrift after spending a summer with a guy I’d fallen in love with. Again.

“Yeah, and if the date goes bad, the two of us will still be spending every day on the same beach together. I can’t risk it.”

“Why not?”

Ellie clearly wasn’t understanding, so I pulled out the only card I knew to play in this situation.

“Are you going to ask Mateo out?”

Ellie considered this for a few moments. Then she shrugged. “Maybe.”

“See? You’re not sure either! So how about we both just not ask them out at move on with life? We don’t need men to fulfill our lives.”

Ellie took this as an invitation to ask Mateo out and use her success as an excuse for me to ask Jin out, though, so that card didn’t work the way I’d expected it to. No matter what she said, I wouldn’t cave. I wouldn’t go on a date with Jin. I wouldn’t. I just needed to get over this dumb crush before the summer was over so that I could go back to my normal life once university started up again in the fall. I could live the rest of my life without Jin. There were plenty of nice guys at the university anyways. I was sure I could date one of them and be far happier than I’d be in a long-distance relationship.

Every day at the snack bar was excruciatingly long as I tried my best to avoid Jin. I just knew I’d say something stupid to him if I was given the chance, so I wasn’t going to give myself that chance.

Part of me really wanted him to return and talk to me again, though. I felt like that silly fourteen-year-old all over again who swooned at just about anything he said. I didn’t like that feeling. It made me feel out of control, and I preferred to have control over everything in my life. Every time my heart jumped in my chest when I saw him, I reminded myself that this would all be over in four weeks. He wasn’t staying, and I wasn’t going to let him take my heart with him. Not if I had anything to say about it.

The bad thing was that it seemed the beach was not the only place I had to avoid him. He was everywhere I went. He shopped at the same supermarket as me, he was eating at my favorite restaurant, and he was even using the same gym as me. Who went to the gym in this town, anyways? You could walk everywhere in town, and the beach gave you more of a workout than the gym ever could. Walking through sand was definitely more of a workout than walking the track. Saying this makes me sound like a hypocrite for having a gym membership, though, so I’ll explain myself: the gym was supposed to be my safe haven from Jin. I also still hated the beach even in the off season, so it was more reasonable to go there than to the beach. No one needs a winter tan, right?

I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but I had stopped for more than a few seconds to watch him lift weights one morning at the gym. It didn’t mean anything, though. He just had nice biceps. Other than that, I was avoiding him. At least, that was what I told myself. I wasn’t exactly doing everything I could to avoid him. I definitely didn’t stop in the chips aisle at the store to stare at him. And I didn’t sit three booths down from him at the burger place and watched him eat. I also hadn’t bought a pair of binoculars to watch him at the beach.

Ok, so admittedly, Jin was making me do crazy things. I blamed it on the fourteen-year-old inside of me who was floored at the thought of possibly dating her crush. He wasn’t my crush, though. Definitely not.

“I made a really good call on that beer last week. It was actually pretty good.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, leaning against the counter like I hadn’t been watching him playing volleyball with a few other guys just three minutes earlier. “Would you like to buy another one?”

“Actually, can I buy four? One of my friends kept stealing the last one I bought, so I’m just going to get one for each of us.”

I laughed. “Of course. I’ll get you four of them. That’s twelve dollars.”

He pulled out a few bills and handed them to me before picking the drinks up off the counter. “Thanks! I’ll be back for something else later,” he said with a wink.

I wanted to punch my heart for beating faster at that small motion. He was just a guy. A really hot guy, but just a guy. There wasn’t really anything that made him stand out from all the other guys on the beach this summer. He was just a guy I’d known for a month in high school and never seen again.

Ok, so I was doing a really bad job at convincing myself I didn’t have a crush on him anymore. Maybe I needed to get away. We were about a half an hour drive from the mainland, and I could totally take a day or two off work for some time to myself.

So, that’s exactly what I did. I took Friday off that week so that I could have three whole days on the mainland. A vacation was just what I needed. Jin would be off my mind, and I wouldn’t be sweating through my clothes for hours on end. Come to think of it, I should’ve gotten a different summer job. Staring at shirtless guys for hours on end was someone’s cup of tea, but that someone was not me.

Ellie wanted to join me on my little trip, but I was convinced I needed some time to myself, so I left her with her new boyfriend. That was ok. The two of them could spend a lot of time together while I wasn’t there. They didn’t get to spend a lot of time together outside the music store because Ellie spent all her free time with me.

I packed a little bag. I wouldn’t need much for two nights, right? Generally, I had a tendency to overpack, but I wasn’t giving in this time. I was packing light, and I was leaving my dog with my parents. I could spend two nights without him.

The drive to the mainland was far more insane than I’d expected it to be. There were so, so many cars on the road. How had I not realized this many people visited our tiny island during the summer? Sure, I saw many unfamiliar faces every day, but it had never occurred to me that there were this many unfamiliar faces.

By the time I arrived on the mainland, it was nearly noon. I hadn’t gotten out of the house until ten, and the traffic had been horrendous. I was ready for some lunch.

I found a little surf n’ turf shop near my hotel, and just about everything on the menu looked tasty. I was pretty wiped out from all the driving. I always was. It wasn’t often I drove more than a mile, so being in a car for two hours had been really exhausting.

It was only when I sat down to eat that I spotted Jin sitting at one of the tables. I recognized two of the guys sitting with him as guys who lived in town, and there was one guy I didn’t recognize. I blinked slowly as I plopped down into my seat. I’d come here to escape Jin, and he was sitting three tables down from me! I wanted to scream. Then, my worst nightmare happened. One of the guys patted Jin on the shoulder and pointed my way. Jin turned around and smiled as he waved at me.

“Isabelle! Come sit with us!”

I would’ve said no, but I was too socially awkward to stand up for myself, so I crossed the room and sat between Jin and one of the other guys.

“You’re the snack stand girl, right?” the guy sitting to my right asked.

I smiled at him. “Yeah, I work at the snack bar.”

He grinned. “How have I never had that beer before? I swear I’ve shopped at your snack stand.”

I shrugged. I briefly remembered this guy’s name as Yoongi or something, but I couldn’t be sure it was the same person. There were quite a few young men living on the island, and I certainly didn’t know all of them.

“Hey, you got the crab?” Jin asked. “Awesome. Is it good?”

I didn’t want to admit to him that I hadn’t even tried it yet, so I shoved a hushpuppy in my mouth as I broke one of the crab legs.

“What are you doing up here, Isabelle?” Yoongi asked. “Your name is Isabelle, right? I’m remembering that correctly?”

I nodded. “I’m on a vacation,” I mumbled around a bite of food.

“Are you gonna be back in town by Sunday night? One of my friends is throwing a party on the beach that night. You should come.”

“Ohh. Sounds fun.”

“Yoongi’s right. You should come with us,” Jin nodded.

“Oh?” I asked with a mumble.

Now all four guys were staring at me expectantly, and I didn’t have the courage to say no.

“I suppose I could come.”

“Great!” Jin grinned. “Do you still live where you used to? I could pick you up.”

“Oh, you don’t have to-”

“Yeah, she still lives there,” Yoongi assured him, nodding.

How on earth did he know where I lived? Sure, the town was small, but I didn’t know where he lived. Then again, I hadn’t even really seen him until today, and if Jin was talking about me, he probably knew who I was. I didn’t ask questions and instead elected to just eat my crab.

“Isabelle, have you ever been to pier?” Jin asked a few minutes later.

I looked up at him. “We have a pier?”

So, I found myself on the pier with four guys I barely knew. Maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea, but I didn’t care. They all had to be ok guys if they knew Jin. At least, if Jin was still the same guy I’d known six years ago. Ok, so maybe this was still a bad idea. It was ok, though. Jin and Yoongi both seemed to really enjoy fishing, and their friends were fine with watching while getting their occasional turns.

“Have you ever tried fishing?” Jin asked as he threw his line out again.

“Me? Nope.”

“You should try it.” He reeled the line back in and handed me the pole.

I stared at it for a few moments. “Um…so, what do I do?”

“Here,” he stepped behind me and reached for the pole. “May I?”

Truthfully, if it had been anyone else, I would’ve said no, but this was Jin, and the fourteen-year-old inside me was absolutely ecstatic at the thought of Jin pressing his chest to my back to help me fish. My heart was jumping in my chest too, and I momentarily wondered if he’d be able to feel it.

“Yeah. Please.”

He wrapped his hands around mine and guided me through casting the line. I had to admit that I wasn’t sure I could do this by myself if he let me.

“See? You’ve got it.”

I shook my head. “I really don’t.”

He laughed. “Ok. I’ll stay here.”

I felt a tug on the pole a few moments later, and I grinned. “Oh my gosh! Did we catch something?”

I was holding a little tiny fish a few moments later.

“Look at it! It’s so adorable!”

Jin smiled. “Yeah, it is.”

I looked around. “Hey…where did the boys go?”

“We’d had enough of watching you two being all lovey-dovey,” Yoongi informed us when we found the three of them way down at the other end of pier a few minutes later.

I laughed awkwardly as I realized what he was implying. “Well, I had some other things I planned to do today, so…. I’m going to head out now. It was awesome fishing with you guys, although I have to admit I was so awful at it I’m not sure I’ll do it again. Um…yeah. See you guys Sunday!”

Then I ran off before I had another chance to embarrass myself.

The rest of the weekend was spent doing whatever I could find on the mainland. I had to admit, there really wasn’t much to do here. Our little island had more interesting things to do than this place did. And it had my favorite snow cone shop, which was arguably the most important thing to have in your day-to-day life. Especially when you lived on an island off South Carolina. Nothing was more important than snow cones and surfing. Or shark fishing, if you were Ellie’s dad.

I headed back home as soon as I checked out of my hotel on Sunday. I’d planned on staying longer, but I couldn’t really think of anything else to do.

As soon as I got back into town, I headed straight for the music store. Ellie was working today, and I figured she could use some company. Except that she clearly didn’t, considering she and Mateo were making out behind the counter when I walked in.

“Whoa, lovebirds, not during office hours,” I complained, announcing my presence.

Ellie shoved her boyfriend away and spun around. “Ohhh heyyyyy. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Bluffton until this evening?”

“Uh, yeah, I was supposed to be. That place was awfully boring, I have to admit. There was nearly nothing to do besides go to Walmart!”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“When you have nothing to do but shop at Walmart for two days, it’s pretty bad. And, you won’t believe this, Jin was there with three of his friends.”

“He was at Walmart?”

“No, Ellie! I-” I shook my head. “He was in Bluffton on Friday.”

Ellie grinned. “Awesome. Did you say hi to him?”

“Yeah. I ate dinner with them and then we went to a fishing pier and fished for a while.”

“Ooo. Did you guys do anything?”

“…we fished.” I squinted. I could see where she was going with this. “Ok, actually, I’m going to go home. I have a party to get ready for anyways.”

I could faintly hear Ellie asking what party, but it didn’t matter, because I was already out the door.

When I got home, I practically overturned my closet looking for an outfit. I had no idea what to wear. What was the dress code for beach parties? I’d lived on an island my entire life, but I’d never gone to a beach party. That sounded absolutely ridiculous, but it was the truth. Unless you counted the birthday party my aunt threw for my cousin when he turned six. That didn’t seem like the same thing, though.

I finally settled on a tank top and some skimpy shorts over my bathing suit. Considering this was by the beach, we were definitely going to be swimming. And if not, I could always just look hot in a bathing suit. My body wasn’t exactly what the locals called a beach body, but who cares?

Jin picked me up at five-thirty on the dot. I liked that a little too much. Punctuality tickled some part of my brain that was most likely feeding my want for perfection at all times. As I slid into the sports car, something occurred to me.

“Is this your car?”

“Yeah. I live upstate now, so I drove down here. Taking a plane would’ve taken just as much time out of my day.”

I laughed. “South Carolina is a long way from Arizona.”

“That it is,” he nodded. “My parents got tired of the weather being in the hundreds so often, and my dad got a new job a few years ago.”

“I see,” I nodded. “My parents still rent out beach houses for a living. And my mom works at that jewelry shop.”

“Awesome. You’ll have to take me down there and pick out some earrings for me.” He flicked his earlobe, and for the first time ever I noticed the earrings in his ears.

I gasped. “When did you get your ears pierced?”

“Tenth grade. All the boys from drama club made a pact and we got our ears pierced together,” he laughed. “I haven’t had a clip-on fall off my ear since.”

“Wow, are you sure you’re the Jin I met six years ago?”

He shrugged. “I always imagined you working at the Piggly Wiggly instead of on the beach, so I’m not sure I know you either.”

I snapped my fingers. “Actually, I did apply there. Working on the beach is nice, though.”

“Do you think we’ll get to see the stars tonight?”

“Oh yeah. The beach is the best place to see stars as long as the vacationers aren’t using strobe lights on their decks.”

“Strobe lights?” he asked in shock.

I nodded. “You’d be surprised what goes on. One time, I saw a drunk couple in their forties skinny dipping at one am. I was horrified. I haven’t been to the beach past ten since.”

Jin laughed. “Remind me to never get drunk by a body of water.”

I nodded. “If you do, I’m driving you straight home.”

It wasn’t long before we were parking near the beach, and the two of us walked the rest of the way to the party. One of Yoongi’s friends had parents who owned a beach house, and he was hosting the party there tonight. The bad thing was that his driveway had room for about three cars, so the rest of us had to park about a mile away.

“Yooooo, Tin Jin! You made it!” a tall guy with blond hair exclaimed as he hugged Jin.

“I told you not to call me that,” Jin grimaced as the guy crushed him.

“I told you it was because of the bucket you had on your head last week.”

Jin shook his head. “Still don’t call me that. Jin is fine, though.”

The guy nodded, seeming to get the memo this time. “Yoongi’s in the kitchen.”

There turned out to be a very large stash of snacks in the kitchen, so the three of us ate as Yoongi and Jin chatted.

“Hey, Isabelle, your birthday is soon, right?” Jin asked eventually.

I smiled. “Yeah, next week, actually.”

“You’re turning twenty-one, right? We’ve gotta get you some alcohol.”

I laughed and shook my head. “That’s ok. You don’t need to do that.”

“Come on,” Yoongi nudged my shoulder. “There’s got to be something you want to try. Beer? Wine? Whiskey?”

“Actually, wine sounds good.” I shrugged. “Maybe champagne too.”

“Ah, the lady does have demands,” Jin teased. “Anything in particular? Or should we just choose something random?”

“Hey, whatever you find is fine. I don’t plan on getting too drunk, so just don’t go wild with your options.”

“All right. Is there anything else you’d like to do? The last time I was at your party was when you were fifteen, so I’m sure you’re not too interested in everything rainbow themed anymore.”

I glared at him. “We don’t talk about that.”

“So…the answer is yes, then?”

“You’re mean.”

“You were at her fifteenth?” Yoongi asked.

Jin nodded. “I was here in June.”

“You didn’t come to my fifteenth!”

“Yeah, cause it was in March,” Jin stated matter-of-factly. “I had school.”

“It was over spring break.”

“And I lived on the other side of the country. It’s ok. I was here for your twenty-first.”

Yoongi shook his head. Then he looked at me. “Look, he was already more committed to you than he was to me at fifteen.”

I glanced between the two of them. “I beg to differ. You two know each other far better than I know either of you.”

“You didn’t tell her about the great meltdown of 2018?”

Jin reached across the counter to shove Yoongi’s arm.

“What? What are you talking about?” I asked.

Jin laughed. “It’s nothing.”

Yoongi blew out a long breath. “I wouldn’t say that visiting every house in that neighborhood was nothing.”

“Yoongi!”

Yoongi looked at me. “Did you really never find out?”

I was still confused. Did he mean Jin had been looking for my house? If so, why? The two of us had made no point of keeping in contact after we were fifteen, but he’d come looking for me two years later?

“Yeah. You guys were out of town that week. Did the neighbors never tell you?”

I shook my head. I’d never heard anything of this.

“Yoongi,” Jin said through gritted teeth. “Shut up.”

Yoongi leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms before smiling. “Ok. I’ll shut up.”

I shoved about five more grapes into my mouth so that I didn’t say something stupid. Had Jin spent the past six years missing me too? Was I not totally insane for being in love with a guy I’d known for a month? The thought of him reciprocating my feelings made me feel even more insane. There was no way he did. Yoongi had to be lying. Except…Jin was rather mad at him for saying all of that.

“You said there’s a pool out back?” I asked after I’d swallowed all those grapes.

Yoongi nodded, so I abandoned the two of them and left my clothes on one of the beach chairs before jumping in the pool. Most of the guests had decided the beach was better than the pool, apparently, because there was one other person in this pool.

After completely soaking myself in water, I sat in the hot tub for probably longer than was healthy. When the hot tub didn’t feel hot anymore, I jumped back into the pool, which now felt ice cold. I squeaked as the water soaked through my swimsuit. I shouldn’t have come tonight. I was headed back to Columbia in two months, so the two of us would be split up regardless of whether he was here or home with his parents.

Eventually I found myself soaking wet and laying on a pool chair as I stared up at the stars. I had been right. The stars looked great from here, especially where there weren’t streetlights blocking my view. Why didn’t we take advantage of our beach houses more often? Sure, we rented them out to people, but there were the occasional nights that no one was staying there.

It was only then that I realized how late it really was. One check of my phone confirmed that it was already nine. How long had I spent in the pool, exactly?

That night, I laid in my bed wide awake after successfully washing and combing all the chlorine from the pool out of my hair. Jin had come looking for me years ago. I’d never even tried. His grandparents had lived down the block from me this whole time, and not once had I thought to go over there and ask for his contact information. How stupid was I?

I rolled around in bed, considering everything that had happened in the past few days. Jin had to like me. Why else would Yoongi be making all these random comments otherwise? I didn’t know how to feel about this. On the one hand, I wanted to date Jin. On the other hand…were long-distance relationships during university really the best idea? I picked up my pillow and screamed into it. Maybe I should never have gotten that job at the snack bar.

Work started again the next day, but it wasn’t for about a week that I discovered Jin hadn’t gotten tired of the beach yet. This was the first time I’d really seen him swimming in the ocean. I couldn’t really tell what he was doing from where I was standing, but he was definitely in the water. He’d spent most of the time I’d watched him either making sandcastles or playing volleyball.

It was around noon when he finally wandered over towards me.

“Hey, have you ever seen the seashells here?”

I didn’t want to tell him that I’d gone searching for seashells many, many times since I was little. I glanced up to find him holding a huge shell in his hand, and my eyes widened.

“Wow! I’ve never pulled one that big!”

“Really? It took me about three hours to find one this big. One of the boys found some huge sand dollars. You’ll have to come out later so I can show you.”

“Well, I get off at four. Maybe I can run home and get my bathing suit then.”

“Cool! We’re doing barbeque at Yoongi’s house tonight. Wanna come?”

“Sure! When is it?”

“We’re gonna head over there at five to get the grill started. One of his friends bought a bunch of steak and shrimp and other stuff.”

“Ok, I’ll tell my parents that I won’t be joining them for dinner.”

I had to admit that it was a little weird to be spending so much time with a group of people I didn’t know, but it was worth it to spend time with Jin. It seemed that he didn’t know many of the people at these gatherings either, so I was good company to him. Although, did we really know each other any better than the other people there?

After I’d run home to get my bathing suit, Jin and I waded out to where the water was deeper to search for sand dollars.

“Have you ever done this? Yoongi said you need to dig around with your toes…”

It was much easier to do that now that the water was reaching my shoulders.

“Oh! I found one!”

I used my toes to pull it out of the sand, and then I grabbed it and pulled it out of the water.

“Well, would you look at that,” he laughed. “You’re good at this. Ooo! I think I got one!”

Once his was out of the water, the two of us compared them.

“Yours is bigger,” I laughed. “Probably because my toes are smaller.”

He took this as an invitation to pull his foot out of the water and wiggle his toes in my face. “These are bigger than yours?”

Before I could even shove him, he lost his balance and fell into the water. He resurfaced a few seconds later, coughing out water.

“I lost the sand dollar!” he exclaimed. “We have to make sure they’re put down on the floor or they won’t survive!”

I quickly placed my sand dollar back in the sand using my foot, and then the two of us swam around for a few minutes looking for Jin’s sand dollar.

“How big was it?” I asked.

He made a circle with his hands to imitate the sand dollar’s size. “It was about this big!”

I held up a sand dollar. “Is this it?”

He swam over to me and examined the sand dollar in my hand.

“Probably. Let’s put it back. I think it’s about time to head to Yoongi’s place.”

Once we got back into the shallow water, I went off running.

“Try to catch me!”

“Hey! That’s not fair! You got a head start!”

“Your legs are longer than mine!”

Yoongi’s house wasn’t too far from where we’d been, so we walked. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing to walk in sand-coated sandals, but I’d deal until we were on solid concrete.

“You know, I could get used to living on the beach like this,” Jin admitted.

“Do your parents live out west?”

He nodded. “Just about as west as you can get in this state. My grandparents wanted them to move closer, but my dad’s job took them to Greenville. I could always move down here if I wanted to. It’s nice to be with my parents, though.”

“Should we go to the jewelry store this weekend? You’ve gotta get some earrings before you leave, right?”

He laughed. “That’s right! We should go around and see if we can find some good alcohol while we’re at it. Your birthday is Monday, right?”

“Hey, you remembered!” I grinned. “I’m taking the day off. My parents wanted to take me canoeing, and then we’re doing a dolphin boat tour in the afternoon.”

“That sounds cool! Is there a time we can get together?”

“I’m sure we can do something for dinner. The dolphin tour ends around seven.” I paused. “Do you want to come on the dolphin tour with us? The guy taking us is one of my dad’s friends, so he’s just taking the three of us. I think we could cram one more in.”

Jin laughed. “Sure, I’d love to come! You think your parents remember me?”

“Well, Ellie sure remembers you.”

“Is she the one who wore nothing but braids the whole summer?”

“That’s her!”

“I’m just memorable,” he nodded with a wink.

Yoongi’s place was a lot smaller than I’d expected it to be. Despite the fact that there were about four bedrooms in the house, there weren’t a bunch of open floors like the house we’d been at last weekend. He had a modest little living room and a kitchen, and the back yard was pretty small and grassy.

“Jin, can you watch the grill for a few minutes? I need to go check on the potatoes.” Yoongi asked – informed, more like – the moment he saw Jin. He was already inside before Jin could respond.

“Hey, did you get to see the stars on Sunday?” I asked. “They were pretty bright from the pool.”

“I don’t think I did, no,” Jin shook his head. “I didn’t go outside much while we were there.”

“You’ll have to see them tonight.”

“Will I?”

“Of course!”

Surprisingly, Yoongi’s barbeque was a lot more peaceful than the party we’d had on Sunday. Granted, there was much more food and far less talking, but there was no drama, and Yoongi wasn’t spilling Jin’s secrets today.

A few of the guys offered me beer, but I insisted that I was waiting until Monday. If I didn’t have the experience of trying alcohol on my twenty-first birthday, was it even a special day?

The next morning, Jin and I headed over to see my mom. Morning meaning more like afternoon, because I wasn’t even awake until eleven.

“Did your mom work here before?” Jin asked as we walked down the street. “I don’t recall.”

I shook my head. “She wanted something else to do besides taking care of our beach houses.”

I backed into the door and listened as the bell jingled over my head.

“Wow, this place is tiny!” Jin exclaimed.

“Isabelle! Is this Jin? My goodness, he’d gotten tall!”

I laughed. “Yeah, Mom, this is Jin. He wanted to come find some earrings.”

“Oh, we have a lot of those,” Mom laughed as she walked around the counter. “Anything in particular you were looking for?”

“Not really. I just wanted to look around. Most of my earrings look the same,” Jin admitted.

“You should get some dangles!” I encouraged him.

He picked up a pair of huge earrings. “These?”

I cringed. “No.”

“Ok, you tell me what you’d pick for me, then.”

I walked a few laps around the shop as I looked. What should I choose for him? I didn’t know him all that well, but I knew he did look good in the earrings he was wearing now. There was definitely a reason he always wore those.

I noticed Jin watching me out of the corner of my eye. This made me a bit embarrassed, but it didn’t matter. I had to be particular about what I chose. These would be one of the few things he remembered me by when we parted ways, that was for sure.

Eventually, I found a pair of earrings I thought would fit him well. I pulled them out and held them up.

“What do you think of these?”

“Chains?”

I nodded. “They’d look good on you, don’t you think?”

“I’m not sure,” he laughed. “I’ve never worn anything like that, not even in theater.”

“Great! Something new for your collection, then!”

“I supposed so.” He took the earrings from me and held one of them up next to his ear. “What do you think?”

“It looks awesome! We should definitely get those!”

He nodded. “All right, we’ll get these ones. Should we head to the liquor store now?”

“In a few minutes. I need to talk to my mom real quick and pay for these. We should get some snow cones on our way out. What do you think?”

“That’s a great idea! I’ll wander around outside while I wait for you, ok?”

I nodded, and he left the shop. I walked over to the counter and paid my mom for the earrings.

“Do you like him?” she asked.

“What? Where would you get an idea like that?”

She gave me her all-knowing look, and I sighed.

“Ok, maybe I like him a little bit.” I was quick to change the subject. “There’s something I wanted to ask. Jin wanted to spend my birthday with me, and I was wondering if it was ok if I bring him with me to the dolphin tour?”

She laughed. “Of course! It’s your birthday. As long as he’s not joining us for canoeing. It’s too late to add him now.”

I shook my head. “I know that. Besides, I do want to spend some time with just you and Dad on my birthday.”

“Of course. Did he say you were going to the liquor store?”

I nodded. “He and Yoongi said that I should try a few kinds of alcohol on my birthday.”

“Oh, did they? Be safe, whatever you do.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

After Jin and I got our snow cones, we headed over to the liquor store.

“It is legal for me to go in here, right?” I asked.

“Yeah. You just can’t buy anything.”

The two of us browsed the different wines and champagnes as we ate our snow cones.

“Have you ever had any of these?” I asked as I looked at a bottle of wine.

“Not most of them, no. I haven’t drunk much, to be honest. I’ve had beer here and there, but that’s about it.” He pulled out his phone as it chimed. “My mom suggests rosé.”

I nodded. “I guess we’ll get that and some champagne, then. But…which one?”

He ran his hands over a few bottles. “Maybe this one?”

“I suppose that should be fine. Does Yoongi have any suggestions?”

“I’m sure he’ll already have bought them if he has any,” Jin laughed.

I smiled.

As we walked around the liquor store, I considered how long it had been since I’d really spoken to Ellie. Maybe a week wasn’t that long to go without talking to your friend, but it was definitely a long time for us. Usually, we spent a day around each of our birthdays together, but she hadn’t even asked what I was doing for the day. I would’ve invited her to hang out with me when I went over to Yoongi’s, but she wasn’t old enough to drink yet, so she would’ve probably just felt left out. It felt strange not talking to her. Sure, we’d both been busy, but even when we’d been in college, we’d taken time to text each other at least once a day.

I texted her that night when I got home. The response I got was short.

“Teo and I have been hanging out. Sorry. Maybe we can get together next week.”

Well. I guess that told me where we stood.

I ended up walking over to Yoongi’s by myself come Monday. I’d headed home for a quick change of clothing before I headed over, so Jin had gone by himself. As I walked, I realized that I was feeling pretty out of it. My best friend had abandoned me. On my birthday, of all days. It wasn’t like I had other friends to see either. Sure, I had Jin and Yoongi, but as sweet as they were, it wasn’t the same. They were two people I’d barely known for three weeks. I’d known Ellie since third grade.

Maybe this was my fault. I hadn’t really made the effort to talk to her since I’d gotten back in town, so maybe she was mad at me about that. Our conversation at the music store hadn’t ended all that well since I’d run out of there, so it would be reasonable if she was mad at me. That didn’t mean it felt good to be ignored on my birthday, though.

I was just going to let it go. Tonight, I was going to have a good time with Jin and Yoongi and a few bottles of alcohol. We had a little over a month until school started up again, so I was going to make the most out of these next few weeks, with or without Ellie. I knocked on Yoongi’s door.

“It’s open,” I heard him call from inside.

I stepped inside and headed to the living room. Suddenly, all the lights turned on.

“Surprise!”

My eyes widened. “What?”

I glanced around. There weren’t that many people here, but it was more than I’d been expecting. Jin, Yoongi, my parents, Jin’s grandparents, Ellie, and Mateo were all here. There was a cake on the kitchen counter, and there was a banner hanging over the fireplace that read ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ISABELLE!’ It was clearly handmade, and I’d recognize Ellie’s handwriting anywhere. She hadn’t been mad at me.

“We decided to surprise you,” Jin smiled. “What do you think?”

“I think this is awesome!” I hugged him. “Thank you!” I turned to Ellie. “And you! Get over here!”

She laughed and crossed the room to hug me. “We surprised you, right?”

“You sure did! I thought you were mad at me!”

She scoffed. “Mad at you? I could never be mad at you!” She paused. “Actually, I am a little mad that you’re drinking without me tonight.”

“Don’t worry. We can do it on your birthday too.”

“I’m lucky school doesn’t start before my birthday this year.”

It turned out that Jin and Yoongi bought a few more bottles than I’d picked out on Saturday. We didn’t need much for eight people, though.

“Can I at least smell yours?” Ellie asked as I poured a glass of wine.

“You can smell it,” I nodded with a laugh.

She leaned in close to me. “So, any progress with the boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Ok, fine. Any progress with Jin?”

“What kind of progress?”

“Have you guys…” she lowered her voice even further. “Kissed?”

I scoffed. “No.”

“What? What do you mean you haven’t kissed? You guys have been hanging out for a whole week!”

“Yeah, well, we’re not you and Mateo.”

She shook her head. “You guys have to kiss at least once before he goes home.”

“No, we don’t. In fact, I’d rather we not kiss.”

“Why?”

“I can’t be in a relationship with him, El. He lives up in Greenville.”

“Which is what, an hour from Columbia? Don’t be dramatic. You two could totally date. I’m gonna be down in Florida, and Mateo and I are still going to find a way to make it work. Relationships aren’t just kissing, you know. You can have a meaningful conversation over the phone.”

“All I’ve seen you and Mateo do is kiss. Are you sure you’re the person who should be telling me this?”

Ellie slapped my shoulder. “Oh, shush. Just listen to me.”

“I don’t think I will.”

It was hours before the party ended. The vast majority of us had clearly drunken. Mateo took Jin’s grandparents home, and that left the rest of us to clean up.

“That was the best birthday party I’ve ever had,” I laughed as I stacked the paper plates we’d used. “Yoongi, that wine you bought was awesome.”

“I’m glad you liked it. That’s one of my favorite ones.”

Jin tugged on my sleeve. “Let’s go outside. The stars are bright tonight.”

I followed him out to the backyard eagerly. Yoongi’s place was completely dark, so if we laid on the ground, we could see the stars pretty well. Jin sat down in the grass and tugged my hand, beckoning me to sit down with him. I joined him, and the two of us looked up at the sky together.

“There’s not many constellations.”

I hummed. Regardless, the stars were pretty. My own yard wasn’t really a great place for viewing stars. I lay down in the grass. This was a moment I’d put in my back pocket and keep forever. If I wasn’t too drunk to remember it, that was. I couldn’t remember how much I’d had to drink.

“Hey, Isa?”

“Yes, Jin?”

“Can I kiss you?”

He was still sitting up, so it didn’t take much effort for me to look at him. My logical mind would’ve told him no, but I had at least three glasses of various kinds of alcohol in me, so I wasn’t thinking straight.

“Yeah. Kiss me, Jin.”

He looked conflicted for a second, but then he leaned over me and kissed me. I grinned like a fool against his lips.

“This is my first kiss,” I mumbled.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you while we’re drunk,” he decided. It was too late now.

But of course, alcohol had taken all reason out of our heads, so we kissed under the stars for a few moments.

“I think I need to go home, Jin,” I giggled. “I can’t keep my eyes open.”

“You could sleep in one of Yoongi’s spare rooms.”

I hummed. “Why does he have so many spare rooms, anyways? He’s twenty-one. He can’t be rich enough to own a whole house.”

“Yeah…it’s one of his dad’s houses.” Jin’s eyes widened, and he smacked his palm over his mouth. “Don’t tell him I told you.”

I laughed stupidly, like a drunk person would. I wouldn’t remember this in the morning. I wouldn’t remember any of this. I wouldn’t remember who owned Yoongi’s house…and I wouldn’t remember my first kiss….

I woke up on my own bed the next morning with about four blankets piled on top of me. Had I walked home? I couldn’t recall. As I blinked at my wall, I remembered what had happened the previous night.

I flew out of bed and ran to my bathroom before staring at myself in the mirror. I’d kissed Jin! Was I an idiot? This was going to ruin my life forever!

I ran back into my room and dug through my sheets, finally coming across my phone. I had a few texts from Jin.

“Good morning! Yoongi’s dragging me out for breakfast. He said food is good for hangovers or something. I don’t know how to tell him I don’t have a hangover. Would you like to meet up later today? Maybe I could take you on an official date.”

I threw my phone down on my bed. This was not supposed to happen! Dating Jin was supposed to just be some wild dream I had to carry me through the summer, and then real life would resume when I went back to university. I picked up my phone and replied to him.

“Sorry, I have work! Maybe we can meet up later?”

I didn’t wait for his response before jumping in the shower. Even if Jin didn’t have a hangover, it appeared that I did. Hopefully I could make it through work today without any issues.

I hated how my heart jumped when I saw Jin’s response of a few hearts and a kissing emoji. I was supposed to be immune to him by now. I’d lived this long without him, so surely I could live the rest of my life without him. University wasn’t the place to be in a relationship, especially one that was long distance.

I shoved my phone deep into the pocket of my shorts, and then I headed to work. I didn’t know when Jin was leaving, but I hoped it was soon. The sooner he left, the less it would hurt to let him go.

I met up with Ellie for dinner that evening, and I could tell she wanted to rip out every last hair on my head after I told her what had happened.

“You idiot! He’s clearly whipped for you, and you won’t even give it a chance?”

“I can’t let myself get attached, El.” I frowned as I felt tears flood my eyes. “I got attached the first time, and it hurt so bad when he left.”

“But, Isa, this isn’t the same as last time. You’re both adults now. The world is so much smaller than it used to be. You guys are so close you could drive to see each other during the school year.”

I shrugged. “I just can’t.”

“Is there anything that could make you?”

“Well, if we lived in the same town or something, maybe we could make it work, but….”

Ellie sighed. “Come on, Isa. This is silly. You should go talk to him.”

I shook my head. “I’m not going to. I’m just going to have to let him go.”

It was clear Ellie was having none of my sulking, so I sulked at the snack bar instead. As much as I really didn’t feel like working, it gave me something to do during the day. Jin hadn’t been around on the beach, either, so I didn’t really have a reason to avoid my job. He was probably fishing with Yoongi. I vaguely remembered them talking about going shark fishing at some point, and a place with a bunch of little kids really wasn’t the place to do that. Thankfully.

My luck ran out on Friday, though. Jin came walking up to the stand just like he had the first day he’d been here. Once again, I was trying to find all the ways I could bury myself in the sand.

“Hey, Isa,” he smiled at me. “You haven’t been answering my texts. What’s up?”

“Uh, I can’t really date you. I’m sorry if I mislead you.”

“Oh.”

That pretty smile he’d had on his face before disappeared now, and I felt guilty for making him feel so.

“That’s ok. I’m headed back to Greenville next week.”

“You are?” I asked in distress. I shouldn’t have been upset, really. This was what I’d been saving myself from by ignoring him.

He nodded. “My parents wanted to see me for a little while before I have to head back to school. I’ll see you next summer, I guess?”

I offered him a small smile. “Right. Next summer.”

I didn’t let myself be disappointed when he left the next week. Ellie dragged me out to say goodbye to him, but all I could offer him was a wave as he drove away. I was letting all this go.

It wasn’t until Ellie’s birthday party that I finally let it all out. Three glasses of wine was clearly too much for me. It kept me saying things I’d never intended to reach the world.

“I shouldn’t have said no to him, El. He’s the sweetest man alive, and I let him go all because he lives too far away,” I cried. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Man, she could’ve at least softened the blow.

“I should call him,” I decided.

Ellie was too quick for me, though. She whipped my phone out of my hand before I could even unlock it.

“We don’t make hasty decisions while drunk, Isa. Remember what happened last time?”

“Yes, I kissed Jin. Now give me my phone.”

Except that alcohol also seemed to take away my coordination and strength as well, so getting my phone away from Ellie was a lost cause. I finally gave in and laid across her lap.

“Tell me I’ll forget about him when I go back to university, El.”

“You’ll forget about him when you go back to university.”

“I know you don’t mean it.”

She laughed. “I know you know.”

School started not too long after that. I had to admit that the two-hour drive up to Columbia felt even longer than it was supposed to. Sitting in a car for more than ten minutes felt like torture.

By the time I’d unpacked my car, I was starving. It wasn’t near dinnertime yet, but I was going to eat anyways. There were about fifteen fast food places within a mile of the school, so I settled for some pizza. Granted, no one besides a professional football player needed an entire pizza to themselves, but I didn’t care. I was going to eat as much of this pizza as I pleased without anyone judging me. Ok, my roommate would probably be judging me. But it wasn’t any of her business how much pizza I ate.

I was happily walking out of the pizza place with my dinner when I looked up at the man who was holding the door for me.

“Jin? What are you doing here?”

He pointed a thumb back to my university. “I go to the UofSC?”

I ended up sharing my pizza with him as we sat at a nearby park and chatted.

“You’ve gone here for two years? How have I never seen you?”

He laughed. “I have no clue.”

“I’m so sorry about what happened after my birthday. I just couldn’t handle long-distance.”

He nodded. “It’s ok. I understand. I just wish we’d actually talked about it. Maybe we wouldn’t have been upset at each other?”

I smiled.

“So, what do you say? Now that we’re in the same place all year…can I take you on a date?”

I had to admit, I’d never expected things to turn out this way. I’d never even considered him being at the same school as me, but I’d gotten that miracle after all.

If we shared a few kisses under the sunset that evening, no one but us knew. It was pretty amazing that we had the assurance of spending the next two years together.

The Fate of the Lyrics m.list

Main m.list

A/N: I decided to change the point of view like 2000 words into this so hopefully this was edited well enough that you can't tell. Not really sure how on earth I got this plot from the lyrics but you know 😂

It would be greatly appreciated if you reblogged the story if you liked it!

Taglist: @jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger @jinnie-forthe-winnie @fly-you-dam-fools @aianloveseven @thornedswan @kookstempo

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annusdraft · 1 year

Text

The Unwritten Rule | Part 1

synopsis: Aditya and Kashish have been bestfriends from a long long time. Several ups and downs throughout their lives but they are the only constants in each other’s journey. So perfect together. Just meant to be. Atleast that’s what all of their mutual friends think. Should they be together already? Kashish is confused about how she felt, until one night and then everything is clear.

warning: cheating

genre: bestfriends to lovers, angst, fluff

Guilt. Frustration. Heartbreak. Those are the negative and the only emotions you were feeling right now.

It was 1:00 am in the night and you were as awake as an owl staring at the pictures of him and you in your cellphone. HIM, the person who has taken up every corner of your mind, the person who has been with you through all the thick and thin times, one who would do anything for you.

Your one and only bestfriend, Aditya.

Yes, he is your bestfriend for almost 3 years now and he has seen you in every situation and trouble. Done things to put you in trouble and then help you get out of it. Yes, he always had to face the consequences of his actions but he never minded it and neither did you.

You are staring at the pictures of him reliving all the things you did with him, the memories, the laughter. Suddenly your phone rings. You read the name on your phone and you panic again. Your bestfriend has called you again. Panicked, not knowing what to do, you put your cellphone down just as soon as you read his name. Two minutes later a notification pops up. You raise your phone and the screen lights up.

Adityaa_

Hey

You see a text from the same person whom you've been avoiding for a month now. You don't know what to do right now. You feel all kinds of emotions. Guilt being the strongest one. Aditya, your bestfriend whom you've been avoiding since one month is trying to reach out to you, text you, call you, hoping you'd respond. You are not sure if you should reply to his message, well you know someday you'll have to face him, go through the most difficult part for you now. It's time you finally tell him this or it will to be too late.

Another text from the same person pops up.

Adityaa_

There are chances you might be asleep right now but

I know ur not. Pls reply so that we can figure

this out together.

Kashishx

hey

Adityaa_

Oh my god. You finally responded.

I knew you'd respond someday.

Kashishx

I need to tell you something important.

Meet me at the park at 6.

Adityaa_

Yes, sure lets meet.

Kashishx

(read)

Adityaa_ is offline🔴

Your roommate finally managed to convince you to go and meet him. It was her idea to text him and call him to meet up. Sure, you yourself wanted to meet him but you were not sure if you should. To be honest you are still having second thoughts about this whole thing. But you know you need to get this done. You can't avoid your bestfriend for your entire life, you also don't want to lose your friendship with him and not talking to him will do definitely do that.

It's 5:45 pm. You are in the cab. You will make it on time. The cab starts heading towards it's destination.

You know exactly what you are going to say to him. You don't know if you're doing the right thing or not, but you know this needs to get done. This will either mend your bruised friendship or break it completely. You clearly remember what led you two to the point where you are right now.

A month ago it was one of your common friends Kaira's birthday, Aditya and you were invited in her house birthday party. Alcohol, DJ, pool, everything you could ever ask for was there. But that's not what you wanted. You wanted him, your bestfriend to be besides you, to kiss you, to hold you, to tell you that he loves you too. You probably shouldn't think about some other man and definitely not about your bestfriend when you are here with your boyfriend Akshit who is right beside you kissing you, holding you, loving you, doing all the things you wish Aditya did to you. You felt horrible. This isn't fair to your boyfriend. You are just using him, pretending like you are still in love with him, yes, subconsciously but still. You are a horrible horrible person.

You like him and he is a really nice person but you are not in love with him anymore only because recently you've started to gain feelings for your bestfriend and as much as you want to accept this fact, you can't. Yes, your bestfriend, and he has no idea about it. It's better this way. You don't want to ruin your precious friendship with him just because of some stupid feelings. These are just feelings, they'll fade, they'll go away....right??

"I'll be back in few minutes." says Akshit while looking at some of his friends who are calling him from a distance. They are calling him over so you let him go. You nod giving him a green light and he gives you a kiss on the forehead before whispering 'I'll be back soon', his warm breath hitting your ear and then he disappeared in the crowd.

You order a drink for yourself sitting on the bar stool alone, now waiting for the drink to arrive.

"JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ANYMORE. KASHISH, WHY CAN'T YOU SEE YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR ADITYA!!" you get the flashbacks from yesterday when your roommate and you were having a conversation, more like having an agreeing- disagreeing session.

"OH MY GOD will you stop saying that!!! I love him, I love Adity-- AKSHIT..." you take a pause to wrap your head around what just happened. That's just mix of names, you got confused with their names, that's it, you try telling this to yourself. But clearly your roommate doesn't think the same as you because you see her smirking but you don't comment on it, rolling your eyes at her is enough of a reaction itself.

"Besides Aditya is my bestfriend. Why would I love him? I have a boyfriend AKSHIT, yes!!" you say highlighting 'Akshit' to show her that you took the correct name this time but she just gives you a sarcastic smile. You are trying to convince her on the outside but deep down you yourself know that you are trying to convince yourself more than convincing her. You know what your roommate is saying is true but you don't want to accept this truth, because accepting this truth could probably ruin your friendship with him, lose one of the most important people in your life. You can’t fall in love with your bestfriend and definitely not when you have a sweet, caring boyfriend who never falls short on making you feel special. It makes you feel guilty.

All your thoughts are long forgotten when you feel someone tap your shoulder. You look at your shoulder, eyes following the hand to look at the person who is none other than Aditya, your bestfriend. You look at him and your heart warms up, a wide smile automatically taking it’s place on your lips.

"Hey, where have you been? I thought you'd cancel." he starts the conversation with a bright smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah, like Akshit was going to let me cancel them." you say with sarcasm while taking the glass the bartender hands you while Aditya chuckles.

"Akshit is here too?" he questions and you nod as a response. "He's meeting his friends." you reply while looking around, trying to search him with your eyes.

"Why don't you go dance with the girls on the floor?" you suggest.

"Are you kicking me out of here?" he asks and then chuckles. You chuckle back. "Besides I'd rather sit here with you." he says giving you the warmest smile there ever was. This made your heart warm. You take a sip of your drink making you squint your eyes from the bitter taste that now lies on your tongue.

"Shut up...just go and have fun, dance with the ladies, probably take one home." you suggest but then he smirks.

"You want me to hook up?" ofcourse you don't want that, but for some reasons you still say that to get a reaction from him. The smirk still not wiping off his face.

"Meh, I mean besides all men do is think about sex." you point out, acting nonchalant and purposely say this to get on his nerves but he just doesn't want to give you that satisfaction.

Instead he smirks and says "Hm, I can see your point," Aditya purses his lips "but sometimes it's hard not to think about sex when there's a beautiful woman."

You chuckle looking at your drink but when you don't receive the same reaction from him you look up only to look in his direction to see if he is serious, he doesn't laugh instead he looks at you more seriously this time. You choke on your drink, your heart beating more louder than before. But you try to mask it with your expressions, arching your one eyebrow at him shamelessly.

"Are you subtly flirting with me, Adi?"

"Do you want me to?"

Fuck, this man is so shameless sometimes.

Do you want him to?

The butterflies coming alive in your stomach are most likely a good answer for that. But it's very dangerous no matter how exciting and good it feels.

But then Aditya bursts out laughing, scrunching his nose at your face as you slap his shoulder, frowning annoyingly at your nails and fidgeting with them. "Dickhead!"

"Hey now," Aditya playfully frowns. "C'mon finish your drink quickly," he suggests. "I wanna dance with you."

You are not sure if any physical contact with Aditya is a good idea right now, especially when you feel your heart picking up it's pace and the sight of Aditya brushing his fingers through his hair isn't helping at all.

"Why?" trying to get yourself out of this, even though the thought of dancing with Aditya is tempting and it's been a while since you had fun with him in the form of dance. "Why don't you go dance with other girls? I'll sit here and cheer you on!"

You propose lightly and innocently, although devilish glint in your eyes as you look up at him, lips wrapped around your nails biting them lightly causing Aditya to frown.

"Stop biting your nails," he gently hits your hand causing you to frown. "And I'd much rather dance with you."

Fucking Aditya and his mouth for letting such words come out. His honesty no matter how it sounds when you think about what he just said now, your head spins. You are not drunk. The drinks you've been drinking are low percentage alcohol but you feel slightly relaxed from it. And it's dangerous because your mind already wanders into places it shouldn't have.

So you do what you do the best and you start whining, masking your panicked heartbeat and mind. "I'll look like an idiot next to you!" and you mean it in more ways than just one.

First of all, you are not drunk enough to be confident to dance with him. It's not just silly dancing you do at home. It's a big party and there are drunk people everywhere, you doubt everyone will have their eyes on you, but still. Aditya is like a magnet to eyes.

"That's not true," Aditya disagrees, grabbing your wrist gently as he shakes it a little. "Just one dance then. Please."

And he pouts, widening his eyes just like he knows, in that innocent and cute way that makes you shut your eyes as you let out a loud groan, knowing you've lost. "Okay, but I'm gonna finish this drink and you're gonna have one too."

He sits like an obedient student, flashing you with your favorite grin.

Aditya's convincing skills are good, just not as good as yours because finishing your drink meant two more and Aditya's one drink turned into three, all thanks to your pleading eyes, shameless begging and Aditya's soft spot for you.

He finishes his third drink and waits for you to finish your drink too. By the time you take the last sip and finish your drink, Aditya's already standing up. He doesn't give you any time to react already leading you towards the dance floor tossing you a handsome grin across his shoulder.

Realizing you've no chance, you deduce you feel tipsy enough to let yourself loosen up, even with Aditya's close proximity and his hands on your hips and yours on his biceps.

Aditya's one dance never ends with one dance. The alcohol flows freely in your body, the last three drinks you recordly gulped down causing everything to feel numb.

Everything except Aditya's hands.

You like the feeling of freedom the alcohol brings you. Overthinking is left somewhere else, letting you enjoy every second and touch of his.

It's a hard task to stay unaffected and you're failing miserably, feeling your insides twirl with excitement that you thought is long gone but it's proved that only Aditya can make it come to life. You're both still tipsy which is good because it means none of you are drunk. Tipsy to want to get close enough to Aditya which is freaking stupid, because he's already close enough as it is.

Aditya's warm breath hitting the crook of your neck causing you to shudder, shudder out of excitement and Aditya himself.

You know you've lost. It's too late to end this – at least that's what you tell yourself because you don't want to end this. You wish he'd just lean down and press those lips onto your neck like you love.

God, you're fucked. And tipsy. And horny.

And fucking stupid because when you shamelessly grind your ass against Aditya, there's no chance it looks like an accident. If you could turn around and look at him, you'd see him biting his lower lip.

His hands squeeze your hips, just like Akshit. AKSHIT!!Fuck, you completely forgot about him. He's probably out there somewhere thinking about you, saying nice things about you to his friends and Aditya is your bestfriend, so what the fuck are you doing?

Aditya's lips brush against your jaw, nose nudging it right after as you whimper, thankfully the sound gets masked by the loud music and bass that vibrate through your body. Everything is hazy, just not Aditya.

"Are you trying to make me hard?" he asks lowly, almost amusingly and he sounds so hot that you've a urge to turn around and kiss him, just because he's close and you're fucking horny, thanks to him.

Get a grip, Kashish, don't make a fucking mistake because you are tipsy and stuck with these feelings with him.

"Is it working?" you ask breathlessly and loudly enough for him to hear and you want to mentally slap yourself but the temptation and excitement are holding an upper hand here.

"I'm trying not to get hard," Aditya points out, maintaining the same low and deep tone as if he's telling you the deepest secret. "Don't start something you can't finish."

And that spurs you on even more, accepting the challenge as you turn around, staring into Aditya's dark and very much awake eyes. He has a lazy grin on his lips, living for the fire in your eyes and you're not sure whether he is amused by all of this or he's feeling it too.

"You out of all people should know I never start something I can't finish." you point out, smirk clearly visible on your face.

There's the boost of confidence growing inside you, very much thanks to the alcohol and probably hormones that are making you do and say all these crazy things.

Aditya's features darken and it's unbelievable that you can see it even through the shitty lightings.

Hands brushing against his chest, you slowly brush them down against his toned abs that you can feel through his button-up causing you to bite off the gasp that wants to get out.

Aditya chuckles, the corner of his lips lifting in a smirk as if he sees right through you.

Can he see how much he tempts you?

Is it just one of those times where you are teasing each other but are very close to playing with fire?

You're not sure but you're enjoying the thrill his eyes bring to you as they stare at you, crinkling at the ends while his hand touches a few restless baby hair and strands that got messy and slipped from your ponytail.

"I know but who am I if I don't challenge you?" he says with full confidence and a smirk on his face.

Breath hitching, it takes you a moment to release a giggle and you've no idea why you're suddenly giggling, maybe it's the way he wiggles his eyebrows - something he does frequently when he is fooling around.

"Shut up," you say, making him laugh while you watch him throw his head back a little before he's looking at you with a wide grin.

Not even a minute later and Aditya's hands are all over you again and so are yours, wrapped in his hair like you wanted them meanwhile the other hand holds the nape of his neck. His mouth brushes against your cheek and you shiver, whimpering how good it feels but it's just not good enough. You want more.

"Adi," you mutter into the air but it's almost impossible for him to hear you through the music, but once you turn your head slightly to look him in the eyes, you're met with the sight of his lips again.

You tilt your head back a little, finally seeing those dark orbs that watch you attentively, hands not leaving you. Shameless and fucking brave is what you are because your eyes find their way to Aditya's lips again. Wanting to cry out of frustration, you know your body longs for something else and your rushed breaths are one of the first indicators for it.

And then you grab the back of Aditya's head, inching his face even closer. You wait for him to pull away or at least give you a reaction that would say this is not what he wants. You would be fucking embarrassed if that happened, but maybe it would be for the best.

However, he lets you and just stares at you, almost as if he's challenging you to take the first step. Does he want this too?

Does he feel the need to kiss you just like you do?

He probably feels something because he would pull away if he didn't, you try to think rationally.

You try to bring your face closer to his, closer than it already is, your nose touching his and you wait. You wait for him to take the next step but Aditya looks at you with his hooded eyes not budging at all.

His eyes dancing between your eyes and lips, Growing annoyed and frustrated, you're ready to groan because there's something holding you back and you hate that at the moment but as always, Aditya saves the day and with a little bit of force forward, he finally lets his lips meet yours for the first time.

In a time you thought would never come.

Oh, Aditya's lips feel amazing and you feel like whimpering or cry out of pure satisfaction. They're soft, the softest. Your whole body feels hot, insides shivering with anticipation mixed with lust. The kiss feels good, it's not a hurried one, instead it's a slow and passionate kiss, like in a way he is telling you how much he loves you or maybe you are overanalyzing just like Akshit. AKSHIT!!! FUCK. You are kissing your best friend while your boyfriend is somewhere out there trying to find you.

But this feels good, you don't want this to end, you don't want to let go of him.

Aditya pulls away to catch a breath and looks into your eyes before diving in for another kiss. But before him attaching his lips to yours one more time, you budge and take one step behind. You budge because you know you fucked up. You fucked up bad time.

All you can think about is Akshit, how unfair all of this is to him, you cheated on Akshit, with your best friend. Your fucking bestfriend with whom you have also successfully ruined your friendship with, something you feared the most.

"Kashu" he calls you, hurt and guilt written all over his face, his hooded, dark eyes long gone, your gentle, sweet bestfriend coming back. He knows he fucked up too but you ignore him and turn. You turn and you run towards the restroom thinking you'll atleast get some air to breath there and time to process what just happened, realize how much you've fucked this whole thing up.

You run towards the restroom.

#the unwritten rule #love story #romance #angst #suspense #true love #love triangle #bestfriends to lovers #wattpad #wattpad story #tumblr #tumblr story #cliffhanger #my first story #part one #two shots

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straystarsun · 2 years

Text

Secret Love Songs Series

Chapter II Red Lights Pt. 1

Bang Chan x O.C.

A/N: *Trigger Warning* This chapter contains mention of self-harm and eating disorders. If you or someone you know is struggling with either, I am here to listen-feel free to message me privately.

Previous Chapter

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One more thing, this is NOT edited yet, so let me know if I should fix anything!!💜💜

The morning after Ji-Min and I landed, I still had not responded to him. I had spoken to Ji-Min about it over breakfast Eomma had made for us and she decided to snitch to my mom about it. That’s where we were now…

My friend had snatched my phone from my hands and read off a few of our past messages to my mom. She looked at me over her reading glasses, causing me to choke on my drink a little and she began speaking to me in a string of Korean and English, “Isabelle, you and this boy have known each other for years! And you haven’t decided to try to text him in the months you did not speak?! Did you happen to forget he is in Korea trying to make a way for not just him and his mates, but his family here as well?”

I rub my palm down my face in frustration, “Yes, Eomma, it’s almost as if he would tell me that all the time! I was there when he needed me, but where was he when Appa died?! I called him,” at this point I had my voice strained and was nearly shouting at her, “he was not there, Ji-Min and you were. Not him, he was off on a break with his members!”

The two in front of me shrunk back a little as I took a few breaths to calm down, knowing no good was coming out of this, “It doesn’t matter because it’s not like he really wants to see me anyway. Ji and I have the studio to get to for our Live.”

I stood up and bowed my body slightly to my mom and stole a glance at my best friend just as she spoke up, “Actually, I think he might want to see you.”

I let out a questioning exclamation as she continued, “I texted him a little bit ago for you and, um, he’s here…in Australia…”

“Ji-Min, why would you do that?” I spoke softly to her as I began getting out of the car. I had been bothering her about it the whole ride here. I grabbed both of our gym bags out of the back as she growled in frustration and slammed the car door aggressively. We began walking up the steps and she took her bag off of my shoulder, “Because, Iz, you have loved this man for the majority of your life and I was there when you two fell off. I thought I was going to have to put you on suicide watch and force-feed your ass.”

She wasn’t lying and I knew that if she didn’t message him, I probably never would have. She opened to door for me as we greeted the older woman at the front desk.

“You two have four hours to yourself, loves. We just got rid of the kids who use it in the mornings!” She grinned as she hugged me. Mrs. Lee had owned the place since before I was born and I had grown up with her in my life. We thanked her as we went inside the studio room. It was just as I remembered, the dim lighting did well for a calming ambiance, but we needed more light. As I dropped my bag next to the door and began turning the dial to change the lighting, Ji-Min began to set up the cameras. One for the Live we planned and the other, to capture the performance we’ve worked on for weeks.

It had been Ji-Min’s idea, in all honesty, at the studio we go to in the states our group had done ONE ‘sexy’ concept and she couldn’t wait for another one. We took to Red Lights…yes, by Bang Chan and Hyunjin. If I remember correctly, her exact words were: “Come on, Izzy! Your kid, and my bias…we just have to!”

So here we are.

I checked my phone, he hadn’t responded to the last text I had sent which was just a simple ‘Oh”. Although I was slightly nervous about his response, I pushed it down and opened a message my mom had sent a few minutes previously.

“I’m meeting with his mom for lunch. Maybe you and Ji will be able to join us after you get finished?”

I tossed my phone into my now-open bag and rummaged through for my brush so that I could do our hair. Ji-Min sat slightly in front of the cameras and mentioned she was starting the live. The two of us did our brief introductions and I explained what the plan for the live was, which was to give both of our followers a chance to see a “behind the scenes” of our process of filming our dance covers. I began brushing through her hair as she began reading off a few comments and responding to them.

“You should put on music, it’s so awkwardly quiet lol.” she giggled out. I let out an echoing laugh and requested her to hold the three strands I had set for a braid. While she continued to interact with our viewers, I briefly grabbed the speaker in my bag and connected my phone to it. I decided to put on what was playing last, which happened to be one of Ji-Min’s favorite Stray Kids songs. Yes, Ji-Min was a huge fangirl and considered herself a STAY…lucky me, right? She hummed along to the lyrics, every once in a while letting out a little conversation with both me and our fans.

“Ah! I like this question: Ji-Min and Isa, who is your bias in Stray Kids?” She stated teasingly as she stared at me through the mirror in front of us. “Mine is Hyunjin, amazing man right there. But, our Izzy here claims she doesn’t have one, but personally, she kind of has a thing for Bang Chan.”

I yanked on her hair a bit as my face flushed a little bit, “I don’t have a thing for him, I just…” I honestly had no clue what to respond to that with. “She has a thing for him.” She said in a matter-of-factly tone. I pulled her hair once more, “No, yeah, I relate to him in a way. So, sure I guess you could call him my bias. Plus, I mean, have you seen him? Downright handsome!”

I finished up with her hair and held the few flyaways down with hair gel. Just as I sat down, the song faded into one of my personal favorites; Sorry, I Love You. I was rapping along through the beginning, “Seo Changbin, if by any chance you find this video I absolutely adore this song and you’re a genius.” I translated what I said to Korean as well as Spanish due to us having the majority of our fans from both Mexico and Korea. Every once in a while I would glance down at Ji-Min’s phone for the comments and respond to a few. I began to tie my two braids into a low bun at the base of my neck when my phone began to ring. At first I paid no mind, expecting it to be my mom, and I gelled down my hair. Ji-Min still held the device in her hand and she got behind the camera with a shocked face as she turned it around to show me.

Chris

“What should I do?” she mouthed at me as she pressed the volume button so the ringing would stop. I took it from her and hesitantly pressed decline on the screen. She crouched down in front of the camera and apologized in the three languages we typically used with our fan bases, “I am so very sorry, Isa’s boyfriend decided to call at such a bad time!” Her fake, but accurate, Australian accent rang through the studio.

I laughed from the back of the room as I took my sweatshirt off and replaced it with a simple black cut-off shirt, “Boyfriend! As if, he wants nothing to do with me.”

Ji followed me shortly to the back as she took a drink of water and unzipped her hoodie. I slipped my phone out of her pocket and turned on our warm-up music. We usually started with slower songs and worked our way up to the faster songs. In this situation we started with Aurora by ATEEZ, did I mention that her last name was ‘Song”...yes she was related to Mingi of the group. Adopted, but that never stopped her from treating him like any other would their brother, and she was proud of her brother. The two of us quietly sang along as the songs went through until we were finished.

I turned to her, “How is your brother lately?”

She smiled her bright smile anytime he was mentioned, “He’s doing really good, actually, just a little nervous for their upcoming comeback.”

I nodded in understanding,” Good, good,” I almost forgot we were live for a moment and decided to change the subject, “rock, paper, scissors to see who changes first?”

We did three rounds, but she lost and left the room to change. I sat down and began scrolling through the comments until one caught my eye. “Isa, have you ever fallen in love? Uh, well depends on your definition, but I can hardly fall asleep at night. What makes you think I can fall in love?” Once again, I translated and laughed through each one a little bit. I heard the door open and my best friend yelled, “Ji-Min in the building! And man, I look hot! I can’t wait to see you, Lovely.”

I turned around to look at her and she wasn’t wrong. Our friend had designed our outfits based on the music video as well as the two idols’ outfits with our personal style embedded throughout. Her top was that of a white suit, which crossed into strips at the waist. Her pants were white with red lace wrapping around the thighs, flowy and formal and her shoes were red combat boots. She finished it off with a red ribbon tied around the ends of her pigtailed braids. I brought my fist to my teeth and bit my knuckle teasing her, “Damn!”

She laughed loudly and tossed my bag into my arms and shoved me out the door to get changed. I put the strap over my shoulder, took my phone out of the waistband of my sweatpants, and saw a new message from him.

So, you think I’m handsome?

My face flushed…he was watching? My fingers found my keyboard and flitted out a message.

You weren’t supposed to hear that.

I saw the three grey dots fade across the screen and anxiously threw my phone back into my bag so I could get ready.

Comment, Like, Reblog💜🐺

#stray kids fanfic #stray kids #bang chan #seungmin #hyunjin #skz #changbin #han jisung #jeongin #skz hyunjin #skz felix #skz imagines #skz fluff #stray kids angst #australia #bang chris #chris bang

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infisonicosm · 1 year

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Tea Time! So, Saturday night, or rather, Sunday morning, I was feeling kinda down. So I started looking through my photos of the last year, trying to convince myself that my entire year was FAR from boring, becasue thats flhow i was feeling. I started typing out a LONG text to my oldest brother, who lives over in Germany, and hence was the only one awake at 1am. I started going through each month of the year, highlighting events and things that I did. He responded immediately by asking if I was tired and/or had been drinking. I was kind of tired, but no drinkies.

He ended up facetiming me and we talked for an hour about lots of stuff, mostly about how I need to set boundaries concerning one sibling and that all the stuff I'm feeling is valid, and I'm loved, and everything I subconsciously know, but never hear physically. I feel like I'm a background kid, being #8. I'm the oldest child in the house right now, which I never thought would happen. Despite that, I still have trouble voicing my opinions totally honestly because I have a lot of respect for the older kids and that's ingrained in me. Plus, as the youngest of the adult group, I know that my opinion means diddly squat. Or at least, thats how feel. For that one sibling, however, I have much less respect. She and I used to share a big bedroom and bath until she moved out a couple years ago. Since then I've grown a ton as a young woman, and I'm a little apprehensive about her coming for Christmas.

See, she's staying overnight, and due to other relatives staying overnight, she has to bunk in my room on a mattress on the floor. I'm nervous, because we've not shared a room for 2 years. And I think my subconscious mind got triggered, because my period started almost a week early, and she said that hers was supposed to start this week too. Both of ours used to be synced up, but when she moved, hers adjusted by a whole week. And I'm both excited and nervous about her staying the night. I'm going to do my best to make it go smoothly, but I'm a bit worried that she'll do or say something that justs breaks my resolve and we won't part on good terms.

So, yeah. That's my pot of tea. On the bright side, I'm looking forward to her reaction when she sees what I got her. Perhaps the fact that a bunch of other family will be around will cause her not to be so uptight. And I swear, if the other sister who'd gonna be there gives me one single look about being too boisterous or loud, I'll bitch slap her. Figuratively...maybe.

Oh this was a rollercoaster! LMAO

Girl let me buy you a drink after all of this cause you're gonna need it!

#tea time with shelly

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am3ricanj3sus · 29 days

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5/3

no song of the day today. i didnt feel to connected to any songs today and it didnt feel right to put one. anywyas though. im wirting on my laptop today. it feels weird. i feel weird. maybe its just how life has been going. a issue that ive been having most of my life pop up again and im tired of dealing with it.

basically i was life long friends with this girl and yk we had our ups and downs (a whole lotta downs) but we alwyas got on with it. well she got on with it. she would randomly get mad at everthing, blame me for it in someway and i became the problem. it happened mutiple times and i grew sick of it but i really didnt care. maybe i sound cocky but ik that at the end she would come back. she always did.

but like 8 months ago. she started seeing this guy. and it escalated quick. she like asked us his name and who he was then a week later she tells us "oh my boyfriend dropped me off after we got food" so ofc we're like boyfriend? okay... and we didnt bring it up. the thing is, our friend group didnt like the guy she started seeing. he was rude to our friends and has done someover all shady stuff. so we just warned her and wow suprise she didnt listen and got with him. then she got all offended when we didnt comment on the fact her bf brought her home. so we gave her a small "yay bf!" but yk we told her we dont like him so we really didnt want to talk about him. and thats what fucking set a wire off in her dumbass brain. she was going on about how we never support her, which was the craziest lie ever because we all supported her and her other crazy ass ex bf and all the dumb stuff she does. and we were like "hey we can be friends still, we just really dont want to talk about him" and like the whole time she was texting this guys and she was telling him "omg theyre ruining my mental health"

and i think i may have pushed a little over board but i was sick of her asking like some entitled bitch that needs her friends to agree with her all the time. so i kind of just brought up everything shes ever done to me :) like the time i too her to disneyland and she literally complained in the car, ON TWITTER, about how she had to go back and we were forcing her. and its like, girl. my mother payed for you to be here. do NOT play. and i understand her frustration to a point becuase we were at the park that morning from like 9 to 1 but we had like a 6 hour break at the hotel and didnt go back till 7. and we couldnt just leave her there becuase her mom didnt want her to be alone in the room so its like... girl you have to come. so were in the car on the way back to the park and shes like spaming her twitter "theyre forcing me to go back! im crying. i dont want to be here" SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UNGREATFUL LITTLE BITCH. like girl... girl...BITCH. i couldnt even.

then i brought up the fact that she let her ex bf like disrespect tf outta me. like he burped in my face, didnt say sorry, disrespected my family and callled me a bitch unprovoced. like she just let these things happen then got mad when i defended myself. talking about some "you had no right to say that to him" girl he had no right to act that way towards me but okay,

then i just brought up how much she just disregards me. like im nothing. and i truly felt like that the entire time i was friends with her. an that was most of my life.

she didnt respond to that message. she simply left the group chat then blocked me. couldnt take the fucking heat ig.

and i dont care what happens to her. she could burn in the deepest pit of hell. and maybe ill go to hell for saying that. but i mean it. ive never wanted someone to suffer more.

and that leads me to this topic. she has no friends now. and im glad. she doesnt deserve anything or anybody. no one deserves to be put through what i went though with her. theres so much more that happened with her that i dont even want to relive. but shes like searching for attention now. she texted a mutual friend of ours recently and i told him, dont text her back. and he fucking texts her anyway. now im not trying to dictate who he can and cant be friends with but she did him dirty too so i dont know why he even wanted to talk to her.

and thats anothet thing that pisses me off. people feel bad for her. like what the hell. even people that were with me the night of the argument. they feel bad that she has no friends. and i get having sympahty for her but what the hell. you were there, you know what she did so why on gods green earth do you feel that for her? it just sets this rage in me on fire and i want everyone to disappear.

i genuinley cant. like omg. it just makes me so angery and people dont get why im so mad about her. she just fucked over 12 years of friendship over some guy she only dated for 6 months.

but to make myself happy. i realized im over my crush on my friend. i think it was just a spur of the moment thing really. he has a gf now so its whatever really. ill miss that time of my life.

i didnt see mr c today im so sad. i even walked around a little during his prep and i didnt even see him walking around with his teacher besties. its okay though. i guess ill get over it :(

i did see my coco pookie though and i dont know what it is but its like im not looking for him as much anymore. i mean he wasnt here the other day and i missed him but when he has been here i dont even watch him that much. its just. i dont know. maybe i just want him to be around since he was my crush this.

another day. another slay. i love yapping. this was the first time i gen got out most of my emotions about that bitch and it have this weird relief. like my chest feels light in a way. maybe writting should be a daily thing for me. love love love. muah ha ha

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littlemissunrequitedlover · 2 months

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I think I'm finally over her. That best friend I couldn't admit I was in love with back when we were still friends. She stopped talking to me in February 2023. It's now almost April 2024. I guess it took me a long time to process. But I finally threw away two things, little tokens of the time we spent together. It could just be that I'm feeling a little manic. And decided to reorganize my whole room today and came across these things and new they needed to be thrown away. But it also feels like a big step in the right direction for healing from these past few years. I mean I had known this girl since 2018 and I considered her my best friend. I really loved her. But she just stopped talking to me over a year ago. And I still have no idea why. I almost wanted to text her today. Which is something, I haven't wanted to do in a long time. Just to ask for an explanation. To ask for closure. But I'm afraid. Afraid of what she'll say. The reason she'll give. Was our friendship ending all my fault? If so I have no idea how. I mean I know I am at least half responsible. I was pissed, feeling like she didn't value our relationship at all. She was always skipping plans and not responding to my texts. I posted stuff on instagram about how friends turn into strangers because even before she really stopped talking to me that's how it felt. She posted a tiktok about how free she felt when she no longer people pleased. I was offended. When had she ever had to please me? She never even tired for me it felt like. Now idek. When she stopped texting me back in Feb 2023 I blocked her on everything, even the phone number. She could send me a letter like we did in the pandemic or for fun sometimes. If she really wanted to contact me. But she didn't. So I unblocked the phone number. At least I think I had now I've lost it. No idea what hers is becuase I have deleted so much but not our photos. I'm not willing to lose that price of us, I may never be. Last I saw she had regrown her hair and died it red. She's wearing it wavy now. And she was on the beach. She's beautiful. What was so wrong with me? Why did she stop texting? I mean even before I posted those quotes on Instagram. Why was she always flaky? Am I borning? I've been told it once or twice. But screw me, as a previous victim of domestic violence I don't want drama, I want friendships and hangouts to be peaceful, calm. Why did she stop being my friend? What was it about me? Was it becuase I told her I might want kids? Becuase I told her if I found the right person I'd have them in the next few years? I'm not getting any younger and my mom always told me she had me too late in life. I no longer even want to have kids now but I know she had a pregnancy phobia maybe that scared her. What did I do to deserve not knowing and hanging with anyone my age? Why doesn't anyone want to be my friend? Am I so awful? When did she know she was done with me? When did she know oh I'm not speaking to her anymore? Was it because I was depressed? Was it because I quit that job and was unemployed for a couple months? That shouldn't have affected our friendship I didn't live with her, and I never needed money or anything from her other than company. Was it because I took a break from school? Stopped going to the same university as her? Was it because I told her I didn't trust that chaotic person she was hanging out with? Was it because I said I would no longer like to be around them? I just want to know why? Because all my brain keeps telling me is it was becuase I suck. Do I deserve to be alone?

#there is absolutely nothing lonelier #lonley #in love #in love with my best friend #best friends to strangers #breakup #sad

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diariesof-kg · 4 months

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Liar.

2024_05_02

Let me not type this in a childish tone and attempt to review the seriousness of context at hand. I am actually smiling because one of my clients works with big time folks and I am always trying to get the tea. Anyways, so I lied about being on the phone in the morning. I explained why I did it and then apologized and said I was in the wrong. This is a small lie at that, but I can understand how small lies lead into bigger ones which creates this whole trust issue thing. I think what is so fascinating about humans is that we will never think the same or view things the same which causes the disagreements and arguments.

She asked me or rather told me that I am on the phone all day, as if in my thoughts it's a problem or something. I took it and saw fit to lie and say I didn't which she goes through my phone the following days and then tells me why. Now I got caught, so I explained the reason, just like I told my best friend the same story and the reason. So, after all of that I apologized and said I was in the wrong, in the midst of that I did mention how she has lied too. Now, when I lie its literally a white lie, and it never benefits me obviously. But usually I do lie about if I ate that day, but never where I am going or who I am with. So I lied about being on the phone, but as she scrolls, she can see it's with my friends and no one new. My best friend referred it too, when a kid lies because they are scared. I am a adult, so it would be weird to use that. But literally I was accused of sleeping on the phone with someone and I didn't. I think your brain rewires itself as things occur. It wasn't my intention to lie, but my brain literally goes to "oh shit, you telling me i've been on the phone all day in the morning and it's not with you." Now, we get past that. I apologize and explained it and so forth.

What gets me is that, she said, a big lie we can have a conversation and move forward but small lies, she doesn't like because of her past. Okay, got it. Might I remind you, she threw something back that I told her in my face, this has happened twice and yes, no for me. What gets me and grinds my gears, is it's starting to feel like, she is looking for things to find whats wrong with me, because of what happened months ago. Then turn around and say that she didn't lie and it was more of a omission. Withholding information, isn't lying? Oh wow. I--

Then as of today, we joking around, at which I will never joke around anymore. She asks "who I was available too" I said no one, but I took to long to respond so the jokes are now over. Then I said I'll send you a screenshot, she goes things can be deleted. Honeychild, you don't know me and my friends. We are the screenshot and history of holding on to shit. I still got the conversations from everyone I interacted with in my phone and even my old phones, in case a bish ask what occurred in 1900, Lol. I got over 10k photos and most need to be deleted, but it's so hard. Like, if I wanted to delete anything, wouldn't I have deleted the call log but I didn't clearly you could see the facts.

I need to seek a therapist though, I am over this Candy Cane incident but I am not. The fact that she lied and then had the audacity to make it seem innocent as if it's okay to be texting a ex whatever, like did you or did you not reply and did you or did you not refuse information that would of killed the interaction. I'll lie to people I don't care about, are you serious? Not telling your ex thing you are in a relationship is what? Why would someone make an advance and continue to regardless of you shutting it down. Like -- I need to scream. Like, and you didn't think how something like that could affect me and it's been months. But lordt bless it be the fruit, because I vowed never to speak about it again. Like, how lucky can you be to be forgiven and I don't joke around about it nor get upset with you period, but I-- don't respond now you don't trust me. Lol, God take the wheel. Listen I get it a lie is a lie, but honey child, I-- need people to understand that shit right there was the BIGGEST lie I had told in my face. I real life need to see a therapist. Like I am exploding inside because it's like oh shit Ke'Anna did this, but I digress. It's more of the fact that today the joke went sour and she usually has a face which means she's not joking anymore. And at that point, I am done joking around, because it's been other incidents, where I joke and she thought -- I am good, this is the alternative Ke'Anna, the one that no one likes at all, the one where everyone says I am too serious and never fun.

Like real shit, shouldn't I be worried, since she "handles things" behind my back with ex folks. Like I would never do no shit like that, that alone causes trust issues and I am not diverting away from the fact that I lied, because I was in the wrong, but I am more or less upset, because she lied and I didn't even flinch, I had to cry alone, cry to my sister and best friend. But honey child, when I tell you the type of bish I become, is the reason you never want to disrespect me in the first place. Especially on some ex type shit. But I'll take this L and we gon move past it, but I will tell you something, Ima screenshot all my calls and conversations everyday, because what folks aren't going to do is crucify me for a lie that was merely innocent. Say some shit and hang me dry, when you catch me talking to my exs, but matter of fact if I did, they'd know I was in a relationship and any disrespect I take care of that, but she already knows that.

Last part I was good after the conversation until today, now I am really pissed off, because here we go again.

On a positive note, I will say that, I am proud for listening to my partner at every moment there is a issue and finding a solution, that I disagree with but will do it for the sake of caring for someone and putting my mental last. And I proud of myself to be able to have conversations and apologize without merely making excuses and viewing my partners emotions at hand and genuinely being apologetic and facing the fact I am in the wrong. This is growth.

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#life #diariesofkg #blogs #lgbt #love #life lessons #lgbtq #relationships #friends

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jodi-chigurh · 11 months

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RR-2 (part one) by Jodi Chigurh

(Note: due to Tumblr's text block character limit, paragraphs here are split up. This story can be read in its original form here.)

For sixty nights and sixty days after first losing my picture of my darling Salome, I and the rest of the Henry Company were sort of aimless, more so than usual. The metaphorical loss of her had tarnished the morale of the entire company. One down, all down was the way Pvt. Thom (Sukyingpong) had put it. It was his mantra, and though he never admitted it, we knew that he knew just as well as we knew that it didn’t go the other way. It was only ever downhill. I was a drafted Air Force kid transferred to a drafted Private-ranking soldier amid minefields and makeshift military ha-has when I was only used to seeing the things I berained with flechettes as tiny pieces of land on a great gameboard which stretched to the horizon. Everything down on the ground was new to me. The company helped me acquaint myself with all of it, but I never got to venture up in the air again. The Earth is a lot more depressing than the Sky. Bickley understood the transition. He had been a voluntary Air Force Officer who quit and was then subsequently a drafted Captain. Said the only good thing about Captainhood was “‘cuz [he] worried [his] girlfriend didn’t think airplanes was sexier than crawling through jungle muck.” In Bickley’s pocket, he also carried a picture of his sweetheart, she whose name he had forgotten, stapled to a crude facsimile on cream paper given to him by Gambolix or Sukyingpong around a month or two ago, back in the southern Sác before our marching-in-circles helixed upwards into the northern half of the area:

FOREIGN-U.S.A. COCHINCHINESE CONNECTIONS RELAY SERVICE MEMORANDUM #171, 3RD HENRY COMPANY, RSSZ-2* LOCALE Typical proceedings LIMITED TO ELLIPTOID CYCLES MARCHED THROUGH RSSZ-2. Company guided by Cpt. CHRISTOFF BICKLEY. Localized to NORTHERN RUNG SAT SPECIAL ZONE. Designated relay-airman A is #171, Off. JEWGENI GAMBOLIX. Backup relay-airman B is #055, Off. PATRICK VIMANA. Memorandum filed by Mr. EDWIN MONTPARNASS on 04 JUNE 1970. Please ensure all fields are completed before submitting. * Rung Sat Special Zone (Area-)2.

Americo-pyxides shook and bumped into each other deep in our pockets as we marched, filled with heart-shaped rocks for Thom, his sweetheart in San Fran, and capsules supposedly medicinal for Erstazky. They even rang as we wandered through the deep mud of that unnamed Sác river.

That night, we set up base around five chains from a barren opening, which acted as a locus of nocturnal faunal activity. The location was Ersatzky’s idea. Dinner that evening was some sort of noodles which no one among us, not Knut nor Crampton nor I nor Bickley could really identify. They were sallow like a sickly man’s skin.

Crampton: “Do you guys ever miss your girls?”

Bickley looks up. “I can’t even remember her, so maybe not. You, James?” Ersatzky looks at Bickley after calling his name but doesn’t respond.

I clear my throat. “I miss Salome a whole lot. I draw her in the dirt sometimes. It’s hard without that picture…you know? Maybe Bickley was wise to not take one.”

“Did ya,” Scrumbleknut coughs up some noodles, “did ya ever do anything like that, like umm… hanky-panky with that photo? It was, a-haah! it was quite dirty, no?” The other guys and I feel sick. Crampton laughs.

“No, I didn’t, it—”

“Really? Reaaaaally, ‘cuz I—”

“—was just dirty because we’re in the wilderness, man.”

“—always notice—oh, yeah, sure.”

“Shut up, Knut, you fuckhead.” James Ersatzky coming in with some common sense!

The conversation went on, with increasing use of pejoratives and threats from Team Knut vs. Third Henry Company as Bickley and I continued to stay quiet and eat like depressed porcine geriatric men. What it escalated into was rifle-chest contact and a dead rabbit, shot by Crampton after missing Ersatzky by a few hairs. It was then that Bickley called everyone in for bed, begrudgingly.

Late that night, perhaps even in the early morning, when everyone had drifted off into the mosquito-infested indigo night, save me and him, decided to tell me a little life tale of his as we both, independently of each other, batted away bugs. We were in bed, just neither of us asleep. He starts without warning: “Hey, Erik?”

I asked what it was he needed and he puckered his lips, I think. “I should probably tell you this, I think you’d just find it interesting. It’s about when I was an Officer. Airtime.”

I nodded but forgot he couldn’t see me. “Well, what happened, Chris?” That sentence was one continuous exhale.

“I worked in the Air Force for a couple of years before quitting and subsequently getting drafted up here as part of the Henry Company. That was crazy. I didn’t really do much, I just kind of slacked off on all our projects and flew around, that too. It was mostly theoretical rocket science when I was down on the ground. And I was never a rocket scientist as much as it sounds like it to you, I had more of a mock-job if anything. What I do remember was whenever the third Okinawan troop arrived here in Nam we started working on this thing called the U.R.R.S. and a specific rocket for it called RR-2. The RR in that stood for Red Rocket and U.R.R.S. was Ultradestructive Red Rocket System. I don’t know if that was the final name, I think Maj. Doumo just recommended it to some overling as a sort of cheeky joke. I didn’t work on the first Red Rocket, that was something they constructed after Nagasaki got bombed and they never ended up using it. But it wasn’t nuclear, nor was ours, even though it was an ICBM. What it was was,” he turned over on his cot to look at me. “What are those things called? That you was dropping from your plane?”

Me: “The Rainbows? Like Agent Orange?”

Bickley slumped back on his cot and looked at the ceiling. There was a hole up there. “No…no, I meant those little guys that you dropped from your plane.” I knew what he was talking about, but I didn’t fly AD-5Ns often to drop those little flechettes—they were called Lazy Dogs. As I had stated above, I spent most of my time in the air, which was minimal, flying C-123s and effluxing from their tanks Agent Orange. “Those dense little fuckers that go, like, a foot into firm concrete if you drop them from your plane. Lazy Dogs! That’s it. That was the plan with RR-2, ‘cuz what U.R.R.S. was was that we were gonna have the RR-2 flying over South Nam over Vietcong bases. The rocket itself was just a modified V-2 rocket since we already had Nazi scientists at NASA. Arthur Rudolph had brought some plans over from when he worked on V-2 in Germany and we just used those and changed a couple of things. But the RR-2 itself was a pretty weak ICBM. What made it potent or what would’ve made it potent was it had a ton of miniature Lazy Dogs on it. There were mechanisms to, when it was launching, it would drop a bunch of Lazy Dogs before it made contact with the ground. All the Dogs would just fall outta the Red Rocket before the rocket itself would make contact with the earth and fucking blow up.” Bickley laughed a little. “But we scrapped it. There were too many complications and we couldn’t reliably get the Lazy Dogs to fall out. We did once, but we didn’t remember how we did it and it didn’t work again. They also didn’t want to send ICBMs to an Eastern Bloc warzone, is what they eventually decided.” Bickley wasn’t wrong that Lazy Dogs go around a foot in concrete. When I rarely dropped them back in the AD-N5, they left tiny holes in the ground. A couple times I hit actual Vietcong troops, their anti-personnel manufactory purpose. I never saw that carnage up close but I’m assuming, since we were dropping them from 3k. feet in the air, that they dug straight through those Vietcongs’ skulls and into their thoraces and abdomina. The thought of a ballistic missile covered in those, dropping those across the plains of Vietnam, lodging themselves in the crania of the Henry Company and Vietnamese villagefolk and northern communists alike, was terrifying. And that night…

That night, wheretofore I had always kept half my set of eyes open even in slumber to pay attention to my base and environs, I had now resorted to closing both my eyes, completely sinking into the Zone and losing myself in its brine.

Here is what I hallucinated that night in an angst-induced mania: I envisioned a Cartesian plane, scraped into my inner eyelids with a scalpel, and against it a ring of Unity as a corona of light above Salome’s head as she looked down at me and clicked tut tut or tsk tsk tsk as she would smile a smile straight out of one of my father’s stained, dilapidated film rolls held hostage in the basement in Peoria, IL, Home, and she swooped down from the heavens to pick me up from the depths of the Cochinchina, as Scrumbleknut called it, and so I did indeed imagine Salome Joey Zrank, the angel sent from heaven, floating down with her white wings, reaching down to the cursed earth upon which I stood, her white wings made of Unity, not in an individually mathematical nor spiritual nor philosophical sense but in a sense which was a synthesis of all three, her ethereal form beckoning acceptance from me of the fact that she was the Monad and the Everything, that the Universe was neither here nor there, neither infinitely dissectable nor infinitely assembling itself into something larger, that it had an end in both directions, the micro and the macro, and it was Her, that she was to be my everything, my guiding moonlight, and that I would do literally anything she told me to do, all this as she ascended with me into the clouds above base, which was now host of a terrible coup orchestrated by the Vietcong, Tonkin’s little puppet down south, the Vietcong and my own comrades drafted from the States by chance and not by commitment and nationalism, some not even understanding why they were there like me, yes, they were seeming more and more like chess pieces or circular xiangqi tokens as I went up and up with Salome, and I saw them there, on the Cartesian plane of southeastern Asia, with Laos and Thailand in the peripheral, and I cried into Salome’s bosom as a hundred thousand dead Vietnamese men and women and children and American postadolescents sang majestic chori in all of the world’s forgotten tongues, those with holes in their heads and arms lopped off by the Enemy, with the meat of their jaws sloughing off into their laps, and nevertheless they smiled on and on, their smiles shining into the great horizon, a beautiful lightshow upon the Sky-Quilt, none of the earthly bacchanal or debauchery of Vietnamese nor American land present, only the innocence of infantile, not Judaic, cherubim which danced in the air like the pervading scent of Man’s good. And then I fell asleep.

In the morning, we marched on. We had long ago resorted to marching in vague circles and limaçons and ellipses and helices in the jungle unless airmen sent by FUCCRS—Foreign-U.S.A. Connection Communication Relay Service—dictated otherwise, which no, today they did not. Scrumbleknut and Crampton brought these girls from a nearby village which we passed every three or four days. Scrumbleknut had a way with translinguistic and -cultural gesticulations, and had either convinced them to dress up or simply found them dressed up in makeshift áo nhật bình formed from loose fabric. Bickley, who had been standing far out scouting the ground for anti-personnel arms, reported to me that that night he saw written on the back of the shorter girl in childish majuscule lettering ᴄʀᴀᴍᴘ, and on that of the leaner one, ᴋɴᴜᴛ. We had encountered other young women who owned these makeshift áo and used them for what seemed like a sort of juvenile and mirthy rôleplay—we’d witnessed many performances. Sometimes secretly in the case of Scrumbleknut. He was big and burly and had an affinity for east Asian women—he said they were “the most innocent things on God’s forsaken Earth” with drool leaking out of his mouth onto his sallow, pustular chin even as he watched an all-female Vietcong guerilla militia named the Sác Bạn Gái attack and nearly kill our FUCCRS airman Jewgeni Gambolix. He talked of how at home he studied Japanese women’s speech and imagined their acclivitous intonation—nē!, aramā…, uchi. And, of these women, he had no problem killing them, watching their souls leave their bodies as those bodies fall to the dirt ground. Ersatzky would tell a joke his father told him, that Scrumbleknut had a bad case of “yellow influenza.” You can’t say that anymore, but we said it a lot back then, solely as a descriptor of the Knut. It wasn’t always jocular—you would catch him sitting amidst dry shrubs and bushes, or in a trench he’d dug out long ago, belt and trousers down to his knees with binoculars glued to his eyes, and us, the Americans, seeing small figures moving playfully in a village around a few chains away, would waltz up to whatever he was so entranced by, only to realize they were girls—expected—and they were pubescent—unexpected the first time, but not long after. Then we’d scare the kids away and the Knut would holler and yell and someone would surely that night be the recipient of capital and spinal strikes from the Knut’s BAT, which was not an initialism, he just always screamed the name. Scaring the kids was never for the sake of scaring the kids for us, at least not for Bickley and me—it was because the Knut had derived his nickname not just from an ellipsis of his full patronym, but because he was, to put it mildly and/or euphemistically, “(k)nutty,” Crampton’s words, i.e. he was known to do things on a whim. Amorally so. He arguably had no conscience and only two primal modes: sex and murder. Sometimes intertwined....

One time, when we still got non-FUCCRS transmissions from Gambolix, checking in with each of us, asking how we were holding up in the awfully hot Sác, it was Scrumbleknut’s turn, and he took the radio out to a horticultural village and had Gambolix listen to a woman dying. He had cut her throat with a machete, and was laughing and entranced. He said “Jewgeni,”—pronounced the J-E-W as jew instead of yev despite having heard it a thousand more times than he had seen it written out—“Jewgeni, this is fucking amazing. Have you ever felt what this feels like? Watching this?” Stuttering Jewgeni Gambolix responded with a disgusted and panicked no. The Knut clicked off the radio, villagewoman still a-gurgle, but not for long. When the Knut came back, he was adjusting his trousers. A short-lived nickname for Scrumbleknut thereafter was the Bashy Bazooka—we didn’t expect him to know what a bashibazouk was. There was no jolly irony in that name. And so what we began to call him when he wasn’t around, the Company outside of his company, was Urmensch. He was an Urmensch—if you go to the Navy, the Air Force, etc. intentionally, you find a fair amount of them in your squadron. That or you become one. My father was an Urmensch, not unlike Scrumbleknut. He was named Occidenzo, though the paternal side of my family was full of Britons who had been in America since the Revolution, not Italians. And no one really ever called him Occidenzo til his soul had gone ex vivo—just “the Man,” “Mister Hisser,” “Ozzy,” “the Big O.,” “Majordom-O,” variants thereof. Or Dad. Dad looked really similar to me, more so than most consanguineous look-alikes. He never balded more than a hundred odd hairs, lacked the prominent schnoz of Barbara, my mother. She hated the Man. Towards the end, she moped and cried every time he spoke to her, her tears wiping away and pulling down loose guiches which hugged her cheekbones and temples. Perhaps I was too drunk, secretly of course, on the Big O.’s stash of cinnamon Fireball to properly recall what she was doing and gesturing at, but I recall her upstanding from her seat, screeching at the Man, irate gesticulations transforming into shaky indices pointing at rashes and welts which stretched like striae from her chelidons to her wrists.

On that day it was a Wednesday, and there was no school. It was snowing. I was then the centerpiece of a household miasma of the influenzal variety. The Big O. could be heard yelling at Madeleine and tearing up her bedding—earlier, she had boughten a large cookie and given him but a measly moiety. Mom was in the kitchen beheading a hen from the coop who could no longer lay eggs, and it was clear she was trying to distract herself, because as much and as horribly as she loved Madeleine, she knew if she interfered with the Big O.’s strict proceeding of capital blows and gluteal slaps, she would be added to his waitlist, so she was in the kitchen, preoccupying herself by practicing the ablauts of English—drink, drank, drunk, sing, sang, song, sung—attempting to give each a concise Peorian English nominal definition and/or tense-cum-aspect. It was when an osteoid CUR-A-ACK! resonated down the Persian-fitted steps of the stairflight against the western wall in the parlor that Mom’s head and mine pivoted and halted at once, in different spots but our gazes converging to a singularity, that young feminine screeching of agony—the sight of which was concealed by a stucco ceiling above industrial ducts and pipes and tubes—shaking the house. I remember Mom running up the stairs, her heels falling into on each carpeted step, and she burst into Madeleine’s room, and there was the Urmensch in the Big O.’s vessel. He was smiling widely, holding a tome in his hand and beating Madeleine, her aching body, to a pulp. You could see her leg was broken orthogonally, and the Big O. was there grinning with a toxic rictus, like a suspended zygomatic convulsion. I remember my mother calling it rictus mortis—the grin of death—the week before I left. Dad was at a pub that night. It had then been six years since he broke Madeleine’s leg, and that was the first time I asked my mother about it. She said, with apprehension, as though he was still watching her, that no matter how many times Dad serenaded her on how deeply sorrowful he was, how unbelievable it was that he would do such a thing to his daughter, how horrible he felt, she will never forget that it took a month for him to even say anything. Only upon mentioning the event herself did he even apologize. It was at 10:36 ᴘ.ᴍ. that we got news that Dad had crashed his jalopy into a BMW at a T-junction south of Main street and died upon impact. His last words to me and Mom were “don’t do anything stupid” followed by some mumbled pejorative and that was the end of it. There were no tears of grief, there was no bereavement.

My first Urmensch pokes above the surface of the subconscious like a turtle crawling up from the depths of the sea to the shore, slowly but surely, while there sat Scrumbleknut, in the frame of my father, drinking cold coffee and laughing, one arm around the girl labelled with his sobriquet, most of us trying to determine whether or not she was of age—her male-length hair made it difficult to tell for some reason. Every direction she turned her head she looked sort of different, but we knew she was a girl since she occasionally let out short expressions of disgust in a Vietnamese dialect we could not parse, and her voice was deep and feminine. She looked both scared and disgusted by the Knut’s hairy hand. We’re all seated around a little bonfire fashioned of branches and twigs and trunks of tillers. Crampton of his girl, long hair, deeply asleep in a swoon: “I’m naming i…it Lilith!”

“You ass,” the Knut tightening his brachial grip around the ᴋɴᴜᴛ-girl, laughing, chelidon behind her neck. “You don’t name a gook whore…” Former-FUCCRS-messaging-airman-turned-crawling-through-the-Vietnamese-muck-and-mire-type-soldier Thom Sukyingpong reädjusts, making an uncomfortable expression at the Word. We, the white men, sans Scrumbleknut, fall silent.

Bickley turns away from the bonfire to bury something behind him, and without looking back advises “Not while Thom’s here, Knut.”

“What?” Tongue click. “What sez you? What do you care?”

“Well, from your perspective, you wouldn’t want Thom to get pissed and go off and snitch to the Vietcong, right? Even—”

“Right.”

“—though he’s Chinese, not Vietnamese, right?”

“Thai,” Sukyingpong interjects, picking at the soot lodged under his fingernails. “I’m Thai-American.”

“I thought that was part of China.”

Bickley expects Thom is just being pedantic, but hearty laughter escapes his gut: “No!”

“What?” Furrowed brows indicate Bickley is riding through his mind-palace on cavalry, trying to figure this out, and then “Oh! I was thinking of Tibet. Buh-hah!” and he scoops a mound of hot cod into his mouth, then starts exhaling vehemently to cool it down.

The Knut upstands. He’s tall and still holding onto his girl so his height yanks her up and she groans tiredly. “I might be just be a hunk to you guys, but I’m not Goddamned stupid!” So he starts stomping around, stomps right on Bickley’s unshoed foot. You can hear the cracking of knuckles, maybe even bones!

“Knut, you ass!” Bickley springs up like the Knut’s member upon the ᴋɴᴜᴛ-girl crossing her legs, ands jumps around on scarce gravel upon the dirt. The cod falls out of his mouth. A typical reaction among the Company would be to burst into laughter and knee-slappery but Scrumbleknut’s face of Urmenschian contempt is making everyone uncomfortable. And of course, Bickley is very uncomfortable, in pain.

Everyone soon departs for the night, makes up excuses to leave for bed as the Knut’s arm moves around the ᴋɴᴜᴛ-girl’s shoulder as an amorphous mass of muscle fueled by vitriol and brutality. Thom wanders off into the forest and comes back with nothing an hour later, immediately goes to bed. Bickley and I falsely admit we’ve got some planning to do for tomorrow and head off to our yurt. We soon hear Crampton and Scrumbleknut pulling out rope and tearing fabric from clothes and at one point a girl, unclear which one, perhaps neither and an apparition, scream and sob into silence.

That night, Bickley and I had a much shorter conversation than the night previous. “Well, I know those men well, Erik,” he gazed sadly at nothing, into the dark environs of camp I guess, like there was some deep evil swirling in there.

“Walk them back to the village.”

“That’s the right thing to do and it should be so easy, but Knut’s gonna beat the shit out of me. And their home’s only some half a mile that way too. And I can’t even do shit or I risk getting sliced up, shot, and literally banged to death by Knut like that one lady last time Jewgeni called.”

“I…doubt he’s sadistic and gay. You’ve seen how many girls—”

“Ach.” Bickley looks over at the ᴄʀᴀᴍᴘ- and the ᴋɴᴜᴛ-girl, both loosely tied to a sapling’s and blindfolded with parts of their clothes, asleep. “How’d we get such a fucked up demented idiot fucking lunatic in our company.” Not interrogative.

The name of the land we were occupying that night was not Nam nor Cochinchina nor Việt Nam, it was the Orient. It was us, the Europeans, approaching these people as objects of the East, like nineteenth century Britons and Frenchmen learning of Persian harems from a more western sect of the postquranic Orient, how they drew women in their harems with huqqas atilt on malapropos Ottoman carpets, the women painted doffing their hijabs, tantalizing the male “trespassers,” because those Britons and Frenchmen could not figure out any potential activities other than carnal lounging with regards to what those otherly women—whose colors said Britons and Frenchmen could only liken to metals and not skin—could possibly be doing alone in a room so elaborate with geometric Islamic architecture and wainscoting and gül-donned cushions. That was who we were, hold Thom the Thai- and Gambolix the Israeli-American, pale men young and spry and ignorant, not sure how these people we were fighting worked outside the context of comics and cartoons and how they could feel quite as much as we did. We sure saw their agony when we killed them though…a tin-tin-tin-tin-tintinnabular ringing which lacerated our hearts when we saw a young child’s final gaze, or a man’s ultimate scream, or a woman’s last bloody throat-gurgle…

I think for us to not have killed ourselves out there in the jungle we needed one of two things: comradery and/or psychopathy. Most of us got through on comradery alone, but even on those other than the Knut, even on Bickley and perhaps some others, there had to be some inhibition of empathy for them to carry out what they did. Maybe it wasn’t mental—Bickley was, after all, known for his on-the-fly moonshine-makin’. In the Zone. Bickley’s grandparents, in fact, had met during l’Exposition Universelle Parisienne de 1900, his grandfather a British engineer-turned-architect-turned-sailor who had continually circumnavigated the Dutch East Indies and was sent to Paris for l’Exposition to ensure le Pavillon de Indes orientales néerlandaises was constantly up and running among the colonial pavilions, and the grandmother was a Moscovian yellow-ticket prostitute, Alexandra “la Shurca” Bickley née Barakov, specializing in sadomasochistic appointments, which included that which made her famous among Russo-degradees—a subset of non-Slavic sexual tourists who specifically ached to be degraded by, say it, a Russian minx: pouring samogon into her clientèle’s eyes and subsequently stomping their genitalia to bits. Good business. Bickley men historically loved that shit, and the great-great-grandfather was no different. “Ya, castigate me, ye minx!”—yes, the double great-grandfather was born a North Englander…or perhaps had picked some language up from Dubliners and Kerrymen alike? Uncertainty on Bickley’s part. The Barakov samogon recipe preservation was originally to ensure Alexandra, and no, that great-great-grandfather shall not be named, that her future daughters and granddaughters may start a filial yellow-ticket business in the States, whereto they had moved in 1903, but it was in 1918, after bearing the children twain she would and could, when she travelled with a one-way (yellow-)ticket to Justingrad, UKR to live with the cetera of the Barakovs, catching wind that her grandfather had passed. The next year, in the shtetl, the Russian Volunteer Army waltzed in and pogromed the area. Most of the women were raped—Alexandra, as Bickley clan legend goes, fearing more sexual trauma atop that of Moscow, cut her hair to pass off as a man, and was killed before she was defiled. The shtetl was a sea of corpses atop each other. We wondered as kids how those soldiers carried out those pogroms and genocides without emotion, and after months there in Nam we understood that some of them, those ones not already too antisemitic, had to have felt some sense of guilt, slaughtering Jews—w/r/t the Pale—in Ukraine Citerior, for no reason other than orderly ones: General knows best… Among us, even those viewing each Vietnamese man as just a “gook” and each woman as a “bitch” and each child as a “brat,” the extramilitary sense, there was guilt. There was always a supratheatrical tragedy to the days succeeding a mass murder here. It was a terrible guilt transforming Here, the British Orient of 18XX, into the Vietnam of 1970, like that of late-Mahlerian chords in archi tutti and horns. Gambolix giving those needless massacre assignments via crude staticky radio always sounded uneasy. He had seen carnage from high above, and unlike me, thought it was more terrifying than on the ground like it was seeing the world as a god and having to acknowledge that you let these people die before a strange battalion of stout Vietnamese women in uniform began to shoot down your plane as you were trying to find the company which FUCCRS assigned you to, smirking Scrumbleknut with binos in the peripheral, who had, if we’re to believe the many times we’d found him there as the norm, likely shitten his pants and just didn’t care, “eyes on the prize. Yak-yak-yak!”

The ᴄʀᴀᴍᴘ-girl is growling in her sleep like the Knut tonight. I hear what must be another aurally hallucinatory rocket, but it seems so real. The kathoomp! of a Lazy Dog burrowing into the ground sounds off somewhere outside tonight’s base, to the north.

In the morning, Ersatzky, cup of militaristic faux café au lait in hand, sits beside the ᴋɴᴜᴛ-girl. One of the guys had given her his button-up shirt to wear. Scrumbleknut had gone out anti-personnel scouting with Bickley, and Crampton’s catatonic—the ᴄʀᴀᴍᴘ-girl knocked his socks off and ran off into the jungle this morning, finally doffing her mock áo nhật bình. No one cares enough to really do anything, since we know he’ll come to soon. Thom Sukyingpong lays on a log, gazing up at arboreal foliage. Ersatzky is the worst-versed in the Vietnamese tongue, so he, in the introductions, resorts to primal chest thumping in conjunction with speaking his name (“James”, pointing towards his thorax) and then pointing to the ᴋɴᴜᴛ-girl and giving an inquisitive look, head tilting.

She looks confused and worried and paranoid, as a kidnapped girl does, and slowly, articulately, carefully says, “Tôi…là…Trinh…” Her hesitation’s the same as ours would be had Ersatzky spoken to her instead of resorting to grunting like a wild animal. She basically sounds like she was talking to aliens, that which we might as well be.

I, overhearing Vietnamese conversation, swivel. “Trinh? Her name’s Trinh, James.”

Ersatzky upstands, shakes soot off his trousers. “Trinh…Trinity…ach, my love!” a hand covers an eye and he gazed upward dramatically—he’s trying to obscure his bereavement with irony. It’s a common practice among those company-clown privates who realized long ago that in the Vietnamese jungle, with Lazy Dogs a-rain, mines a-planted, Vietcong and American vengeance rampantly gallivanting across minds Occidental and Eastern alike, there is not much humor to be found. It is the Theater of War—tragic to the soldiers, comedic to the overlings, and both to those who could never understand.

I sigh as Ersatzky paces back and forth. He set himself off, thinking about Home. “Your girl’s name was Serenity, man. No, not even, that was her sister! Your girl was Faith!” I look behind him at Trinh. “Chào…” She waves. It’s a face of contempt. “Trinh?” Nods.

When Scrumbleknut returns with Bickley he puts Trinh’s blindfold back on which had Ersatzky had doffed in the morn and calls after us to follow him forth into the jungle, Trinh limp and agitated in hand. Groaning: “Đụ má…người Mỹ ngu…” She hits a tree and the Knut and Crampton laugh. Trinh estimates the Knut’s position aurally and spits in his vicinity, a deed to which the Knut pokes her chest with the barrel of his rifle. We’ve sort of cut loose from the grand helical ambulatory ovals of yore…the Knut guided us now in a straight line through the Sác, and it was around four or five hours along the trail, finally at twilight, at which PHASE II of Scrumbleknut’s plan began. He explains to us while holding a still blindfolded Trinh that the night prior, he had had a dream, a vision, of this river—he points behind him—of women bathing galore, and so he brought us, his men, a determinative phrase which Cpt. Bickley raises an eyebrow to, to finally relax, a break from the horrors of War, a beautiful bacchanal like that of the Romans.

From behind him: “Hallo, Herren!”

“Jo, hallo!”

“Kommt! wir sind eure Rheintöchter, Herren!”

Crampton’s eyebrows go worried and frantic. “Ach! Nazis! They’ve rejoined the Eastern Bloc!” He aims his rifle, eye a-wink. “Father, I made you this promise…” Rarely does Crampton show this much familial patriotism—only to his WWII-vet pops. Sort of sweet but terrifying.

Bickley rests his hand on Crampton’s trigger arm. “They’ve joined the Bloc…as fair rivermaidens…?”

“Lots of roles to fill, Bickley. They’re everywhere…”

And now Scrumbleknut: “Well, I’ll be damned! Haa! told you chicks’d be here!”

“Er…” the rightmost Rheintochter grimaces and yanks on a nonexistent necktie ‘round her tattooed neck. “Hall…hello, y’all! And we ain’t ‘Nazis,’ you on the right, only, as the tall man kindly pointed, rivermaidens.” She flashes a metallic nametag, similar to those of American office spaces, though blood below it indicates that she’s pinned it straight through her chest: Floßhilde. The two others, running their hands through their hair and glancing at us, are thus from their nametags assumedly Woglinde and Wellgunde, which most of us find confusing, and so we don’t talk to them much. That lack of communication may also be attributed to the fact that, unlike Floßhilde, the two Ws were attractive Medusae, and we feared if we looked at them and their snake-hair for too long, we’d turn to stone, and how does FUCCRS write home about that? or categorize that manner of death?

Wellgunde downs a chipped bottle of Heineken, and it catches Crampton’s eye. The Knut is the first to make the innuendo, though: “You can really down that bottle, huh?”

She spits out her wine and takes aback the Knut. “Pfaugh! god, you men…” Trinh, despite never showing comprehension of English, gets the innuendo from the Knut’s eh? eh? expression and Wellgunde’s reaction, and she also shows tired disgust.

Scrumbleknut frowns. “What of us, eh?”

“Ugh…” Floßhilde groans. “Another penis-obsessed man-child? You look around twenty, no?”

“Twenty-one…”

“Twenty-one? Old enough to drink where you’s from? And here you are, pointing at everything that leaves a linear shadow and making a big ruckus outta it. Have your men not brought up to you how stupid that is? or are they just immature too?”

We yell in unison as the Knut looks back at us for advice, “Not us, ma’am!”

The Knut tells her, “I just meant it as a joke!”

“Alright…? It sucked ass,” Woglinde hands Floßhilde a lighter and a cig.

“Is it in y’all’ses nature? I guess pointing out every ‘dick’ is easy for you guys. Just so noticeable, hmm? We,” she looks at the Ws, “we don’t point out every trench, hole, opening, as a vagina! We never have, outside of dick jokes made by men alone.”

“Well, excuse me,” Scrumbleknut approaches the stream akimbo, “I assumed three naked women in water gesturing towards incoming men wouldn’t be so taken aback by just ol’ flirting.” His current gesture is one he’d likely laugh at any of us for making on grounds of looking effeminate.

Wellgunde belches. “Shut up, asshole.”

“We didn’t even gesture,” Woglinde lighting her own cig with Floßhilde’s. “Just said hallo.”

“Ach…” Floßhilde looks back at us. “Any help, boys?” We look at each other absentmindedly. “Well, screw me, you’re all our third company today, and that’s been our eighteenth dick joke. Great fun! I mean please,” cough, “is no stick sacred to you?” The Ws chortle. “Maybe,” Floßhilde turning away, “because the yoni is defined by an absence of space, we don’t see it as ubiquitous—we tend to only think about what’s real.”

Woglinde: “So, like…not your chances of an orgy. Sorry, bud.” The Rheintöchter then each left, dove under the bubbling stream, arms twisting together upwards above their heads, then each would flip around her yaw a bit, then her pitch severely, the origin being her navel, diving headfirst into the stream until only her legs showed, upside-down, and then she was none. The Knut did throw himself in after them in a last-ditch effort to fulfill his vision, but they had, in fact, gone.

We sat that night just before a large opening near the stream, where the Knut was still soaked. Trinh, finally unblindfolded, was attempting to cover her smirk all throughout the evening. I am unable to give Scrumbleknut any comfort, out of ethics. But Bickley tries. “Need a blanket, Tim?” “Yeah,” he shudders. And then, around five minutes later, he snaps. Perhaps from the cold or perhaps from the Urmensch within finally breaking free after months of chiseling away from the inside of Scrumbleknut’s endoskeleton like a prisoner breaking out of his karma. He stands straight up and spits on Bickley, and he takes Trinh by the arm and yanks her up, tosses her over his shoulder, and he screams the loudest any of us have ever heard a scream be, even when we did genocide villages as commanded by a reluctant but acquiescent Gambolix. This scream was so loud that Trinh may have, for a second, completely given up hope of resisting, which for her consisted of pounding on the Knut’s back over and over until something broke. We were all calling after Scrumbleknut as he ran into the field, Trinh screaming, curved near parabolically around his shoulders. The Knut’s gallop was like that of a feagued horse. By God! his libido inhibited his ability to walk! He was galloping into the darkness of the forest before us! And though one saw how Trinh escaped from the grasp of Scrumbleknut, when she came back out of the darkness she was skipping, dancing around like a particle of paisley finally unsuspended from fabric, almost…gallivanting, and then there came the Knut running out after her, ungraceful as always, again, he looked as though he had been feagued, this time like it was Trinh herself who feagued him, shoved an Vietnamese river eel up his ass, running through the meadow, still wet and dewey from the morn, yes the Knut was galloping like a wild animal who had been starving for a week, and on his sixth or seventh stride—bowop! a sound exponentially louder than any orthographic representation could indicate. It blew out my ears and I felt earthly debris slap my face. Trinh was now really dancing, under the rain of blood. She dug her heel into Scrumbleknut’s decapitated head and laughed. Ersatzky, who didn’t have the same East Asian affinity as Scrumbleknut did but still viewed them as, disgustingly, “innocent creatures,” was more shocked by Trinh’s behavior and demeanor than his “comrade” getting blown to shit. Bickley stared in awe, and Crampton had a nervous guffaw at the miserable display, intestinal tissue and other unidentifiable flesh suspended in the air by high twigs. “Knut!” two men yelled. I never found out which. Trinh was the happiest she’d been throughout all her kidnapping. Bickley later wondered if that was indicative of the Knut doing something to her while we weren’t looking beforehand. But even through her cackling joy, she looked shocked. It was such a sudden death that even she could not come to terms with its brisk execution. We marched back to base after what felt like a day under a nonsetting moon. Most of us had been simply unable to move. Even minutes later, carnal debris was still falling from the sky, like the beginning of a rapture in some old Christian denomination’s eschatology. Trinh, who we expected to simply leave, followed us back, though at a distance. There was a cool silence as if Scrumbleknut’s voice, at any point, would pop up. Anticipatory nothings. They were especially tense when, around three chains outside base, we saw Floßhilde and the twain Ws dead, eyes leaking out of their skulls like the glair of an egg. In the morning, after uneasy sleep from all parties, Trinh had departed and taken some of our food. Bickley was not particularly mad, and he called up FUCCRS to let them take care of it, and to alert them that Pvt. Timothy Scrumbleknut had died.

#vietnam war #vietnam #short story #fiction #2021

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frogtanii · 3 years

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iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

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2jaeh · 3 years

Text

FREAKS I JUNG JAEHYUN

genre: slight humor, smut, very mature themes

warnings: cheating, slight corruption kink, poly themes, cursing, foreplay, just overall based around hooking up, weed and alcohol

preppy!Jaehyun, Badgirl!reader, bff!Taeyong bff!Ten, Jaehyunxreader, slight taeyongxreader, slight taeyongxten and tenxjohnny,

mentions of Yuta, Hendery and Johnny.

words: 8k

You had always gotten what you wanted, whether it be a hookup, an exclusive invitation or riling up people you hated. But the one thing you wanted most was Jung Jaehyun, the preppy boy who always did what he was told and followed closely behind his girlfriend. You would do anything to ruin him and have your name be the only one that escaped his lips.

A/N: okay so I just want to point out that I don't condone cheating or manipulative methods of any sort. The reader, Ten and Taeyong are very confident sexually with other people, and each other.

0. prequel (taeyong x ten x reader)

1. Freaks pt 1

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This was so out of your character but you just wanted him. You didn’t care if he wasn’t yours to take, you needed him.

Your eyes lifted as the lecture room began to fill in and you unconsciously searched for that tuft of brown hair and set of dimples. You felt your heartbeat speed up when you saw him find his seat two rows down from you, completely oblivious to your staring.

“Still going crazy for Jung Jaehyun I see” you heard a familiar voice sing behind you as they scooted into their seat.

“Ten please shut up someone could’ve heard you”

“Babe I’d be extremely surprised if someone in this room didn’t know you had the hots for Jaehyun” Ten stuck his tongue out, pulling out his textbook from his backpack.

You rolled your eyes knowing your best friend was probably right. You had been crushing on Jaehyun since you laid eyes on him a few months ago after attending one of his basketball games and when he dropped in the winning shot you were fucking hooked.

The only problem was that Jaehyun had a girlfriend, a long term one at that. You didn’t understand what he saw in her. Apart from her looks, she was quite abrasive and had a habit of making everyone around her feel like shit. Jaehyun on the other hand was a sweetheart. He tried his best to meet everyone’s expectations and was able to adapt in many different social circles.

Anyone else knew that going after someone who was in a relationship was a dick move, and you did get to an extent, the whole respectful bullshit or whatever. But you and Ten being the assholes that you were, thought that if there was an opening, it’s not as solid as it should be.

“It’s simple” Ten said as the two of you grabbed ice coffee at the campus cafe, “other people usually just go head on and flirt with someone right off the bat”

He took a sip of his drink and hummed,

“You need to play the field, you need to make them realize that their options are open.”

“Very insightful Dr. Lee” you laughed and hooked arms with him, making your way over to a table that was covered by a cherry blossom tree.

You and Ten noticed Jaehyun and his girlfriend emerge from the lecture hall hand in hand as she pulled him over to her pretentious group of friends.

“I want him so fucking bad” you groaned as you continued watching him be happy with someone else.

“Who wants who so bad ?” You heard a giggle and Taeyong, your other close friend made his way over to your table.

“The never ending Jaehyun and y/n saga” Ten mused, making space for Taeyong on the bench.

“Not him again” Taeyong took a sip of your coffee, “why do you always like those preppy guys ?”

“He’s not preppy! He’s like us! You guys just don’t know the real him” you argued, your eyes still filled with stars as you watched him remove his jacket and flex his arms in his plain white tee.

“Like us?” Taeyong pointed toward Ten, “Ten has fucked half of the swim team and four of them are still trying to get in a relationship with him.”

You snickered as Ten seemed proud of his achievements, smoothing out his hair and smirked, “I find my true love in different ways okay.”

The three of you laughed at Tens words but Taeyongs words didn’t bother you. In no way were you like Ten. You didn’t bother with people you weren’t interested in emotionally let alone physically. Jaehyun was the only spark in your eye and the only person on the entire campus that you wanted.

“Anyway there’s a party tonight at Taeil’s place you guys wanna go ?” Taeyong looked between you and Ten for an answer.

“Yeah fuck it” you responded, popping a piece of ice into your mouth.

“Let’s just get hammered and maybe y/n will realize there’s other men out there other than Jung Jaehyun” Ten pinched your arm to snap you out of another daydream.

You hoped his words were true. You really hoped you could get out of this rut.

——————————-

The cab pulled up at a frat house and the three of you jumped out, dressed up in outfits people were bound to stare down at. This was what you loved most about Ten and Taeyong. There’s no pretending, no reason to hide your true personality in order to please others. You three had fun dressing the way you want, doing whatever the hell you wanted with whomever you wanted.

“Hey y/n if you looking for someone to help you forget...I’m always available” Taeyong growled in your ear as he grabbed your ass.

“Down boy” Ten patted Taeyong’s back as he pulled out a cigarette.

The three of you were quite comfortable sexually with each other too. There had been many drunken nights where your lips were on Taeyong or Ten or Ten and Taeyong on each other. Many people on campus spoke about your scandalous friendship but to you guys it was very natural.

“I’m gonna get us drinks” Taeyong disappeared into the crowd as strangers already started approaching Ten from different directions. You were a bit more lowkey than they were and preferred to stick to the shadows and hang out with the more obscure personalities campus had to offer.

You had found Hendery, one of your art major friends standing against the wall, nodding his head to the music as he dragged in what looked like a blunt.

“Hendery!” You poked him cutely and he pulled you into a tight hug, engulfing you with his marijuana fumes.

“Hey y/n you enjoying yourself ?” He smiled sweetly, his character always being chilled out.

“I’m good” you took the blunt and placed it to your lips as you took in a long pull. Hendery’s stuff was weak but good enough to make you relax under the loud music and bodies of people.

You leaned up against the wall and noticed a familiar face on the far end of the room, beer in hand and nodding his head to the music.

It was Jung Jaehyun.

Your first instinct was to search for his stupid girlfriend but you quickly realized that she and her friends were not at this party.

What the hell was he doing at a place like this ?

You had no idea whether it was the weed or the clouded room but you felt his eyes on you for a brief second, before taking a sip of his drink and brought his gaze back.

‘Fuck he was so hot’ you thought, unconsciously biting down on your lip and squeezing your thighs together.

Jaehyun was dressed in a loose black tee and fitted jeans. His brown hair was messy and his lips seemed swollen from wetting them too much.

Your feet began moving. You maneuvered your way through the crowd and kept your gaze on him until you now stood in front of Jung Jaehyun, the man you have been desperately wanting for two months.

“Hey there” you moved next to him on the wall casually, “you’re in my business class right?”

“Oh yeah you sit in the back ?” Jaehyun replied with a smile and held out his hand, “I’m Jaehyun”

You took his hand in yours and felt a shiver down your spine at the contact.

“I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you Jaehyun” you replied as your eyes drifted down to his lips, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a party like this before ?”

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes at you and chuckled shyly,

“I came here with my basketball friends, you do these kind of parties often ?”

“Yeah most of my friends are here, I was surprised to see a good boy like you here” you kept your eyes focused on the crowd even though you clearly felt Jaehyun shift by your choice of words.

“A good boy?” He lifted his eyebrow.

“Yeah well you’re not friends with my friends and we’re quite bad....I assume you’re one of the good ones” you mused, running your fingers through your hair.

You felt Jaehyuns eyes fall on you briefly, “you don’t seem...bad though”

“That’s because you don’t know me Jaehyun” you smiled sweetly and looked up at him, “can I get your number ? Maybe you can hang out with me and my friends sometime”

Jaehyun shifted awkwardly holding onto his phone but despite having a few drinks he still felt a sense of guilt.

“I - um have a girlfriend,” he said under his breath.

“Jaehyun I asked for your number to hang out at a party like this” you turned to him and pursed your lips, “I don’t have a problem with getting dick if that’s what you’re insinuating”

You watched as he waved his hand, clearly embarrassed and handed you his phone, “I’m sorry I just- here”

Taking his phone you added your number in and sent a text in order to save his number into your phone and handed it back,

“Thanks, I’ll see you around I guess”

Jaehyun watched you disappear into the crowd and he felt his ears heat up after the encounter, you had him in the palm of your hand within minutes.

You already knew he’d be watching. You found Taeyong in the crowd and Taeyong being Taeyong already had his hands on your waist, turning your body so your back was against his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder as he rocked his hips against your ass, placing a soft kiss on your neck as you swayed to the music.

Taeyong knew what you were doing too. He already saw you talk to Jaehyun earlier on and he was more than happy to help his best friend out.

You didn’t bother looking at Jaehyun while you danced with Taeyong but Taeyong did. He kept his eyes on Jaehyun as he marked you as his, biting into your shoulder as his free hand found the lining of your crop top and pushed his hand under your shirt.

Jaehyun bit down on his lip, trying his best to look away as you were completely lost in Taeyongs touch. He realized that you were very different to him indeed, clearly unbothered by what people thought of you.

Even if he were single, he didn’t think he had it in him to make you feel the Taeyong did right now.

————————————————————————

After a long night the three of you headed back to Ten’s dorm room. Crashing onto his bed and pulling off your boots, you sighed deeply as the headache from the party began to set in.

“Hey thank you for that tonight Tae” you winked at Taeyong who was spread out on the floor shirtless, trying to order food.

“The least you could’ve done was help out my damn boner” Taeyong scoffed, “I nearly exploded at the party y/n”

“Was that for Jaehyun?” Ten asked, sitting at his vanity and removed his eye makeup.

“Mmm” you groaned and hugged Ten’s pillow, “I have his number now, not sure if he has the guts to text though since Taeyong was practically fucking me in front of him”

“Hey” Taeyong protested and sat up, “he watched the whole damn thing, he was probably into it.”

Ten tossed you an oversized tee before joining you in bed, “maybe our Jaehyun is a bad boy after all” he teased.

You shook your head and shrugged out of your party clothes and threw on Tens shirt, sinking into the bed and opened Jaehyuns contact.

Ping!

JJH: When’s the next party ?

Holy shit.

————————————————————————

You decided to leave Jaehyun on read for the weekend. On the inside you were screaming but you had to keep your composure. You remembered what Ten had said, ‘you need to find that hole, make them realize their options are open.’

It was already Monday and you had to see Jaehyun face to face for the first time since the party. You walked into the lecture and he was already there, seated up front and his eyes lit up when he saw you walk through the doors.

He shot you a nervous smile and a small wave, making sure it was subtle enough for the people around him to not notice.

As much as you wanted to stare back you kept your eyes focused on the lecture slides in front of you, knowing very well that Jaehyun had turned back for the third time in 30 minutes to look at you.

“Baby boy is thirsty” Ten smirked, leaning into you as he watched Jaehyun turn around again, flustered at Ten staring him down. You playfully nudged Ten, “you're scaring him,” Ten chuckled at your words and returned to his work as you yourself felt a bit bashful that Jung Jaehyun was finally paying attention to you.

Class had ended and you walked over to the usual spot, Taeyong was already sprawled out on the bench taking in the afternoon sunlight. “Do you even try to act normal ?” Ten knocked Taeyong’s leg out of the way and flicked his exposed nipple.

“Ow don't do that it turns me on” he whined,

“Everything turns you on Taeyong'' you giggled and placed a kiss on his cheek before taking a seat next to him. Taeyong growled and pulled you closer to him, straddling the bench, placing his legs on either side of you. Sometimes you wondered what people thought of the three of you. Ten had mentioned once that someone on the swim team thought you guys were in a polyamorous relationship. As much as all three of you fooled around there was only one hookup that led to a threesome, but that was a story for another day.

“I still haven't texted him back” you spoke, stuffing a piece of banana muffin in your mouth.

“I thought you wanted to jump this guy” Taeyong scoffed.

“He’s still in a relationship and even told me so that night” you explained looking over to where Jaehyun was seated with the rest of the preppy business students and his girlfriend, “If he was drunk enough to stay faithful that means I don't have an opening yet.”

“Is that why he keeps looking over here while sitting next to his girlfriend ?”

Taeyong’s words made you look up and ofcourse Jaehyun was looking over at you despite having an arm around his girlfriend. This time it was less subtle than in the lecture room. He talked with his friends but you had his full attention, making sure to look over at your table every few minutes.

“If it isn't my favorite polygamists” a low voice bellowed from behind Ten and the three of you looked up and realized it was Ten’s boy of the semester, Johnny Suh.

“It's really weird when you call us that you know?” Ten rolled his eyes as Johnny hugged him from behind and slid into the seat next to him. Johnny followed your eyes over to where Jaehyun sat and smirked, “Jaehyun ? seriously? You're literally too hot to be chasing someone as boring as him y/n”

“Shut up he is not boring” you popped another piece of the muffin in your mouth.

You studied Jaehyun as you noticed his girlfriend tried to bring his attention back to her conversation, completely unaware that her boyfriend was looking at another girl. Why would she ? She had everything. The perfect grades, the perfect face and body, and the perfect boyfriend. Jaehyun took a look at his beautiful girlfriend as she spoke, he knew why he liked her and why their relationship worked but why did he feel as if he were missing out. His eyes drifted again to that table at the back where the art students sat. They always seemed to have the best time despite half the campus avoiding them or calling them weird for being themselves. A part of him wished he was free to do that too. He was deeply interested in music and the arts, but was scared to share his tastes as he didnt want to be an outcast to his friends. Jaehyun shifted in his seat as he watched that blonde haired guy from the party wrap his hands around your waist, freely caressing your skin in front of everyone as you nonchalantly ate your lunch.

Arin, Jaehyun’s girlfriend stopped her conversation and followed her boyfriend's eyes to the table at the back.

“Urgh those freaks have no shame, imagine what their parents would think of them” she pulled her face as her friends hummed in agreement.

“The other day I saw the black haired guy and Johnny from the basketball team making out in the bleachers” another girl said and Jaehyun noticed Johnny, one of his team mates sitting comfortably with the small black haired boy he always saw you with during your business lecture.

“T-that reminds me I need to tell Johnny about the meeting today” Jaehyun scratched the back of his head, he didn't know why he wanted to go over there but he was curious to know what you all were like during a campus setting.

Arin took a sip of her ice latte and flipped her golden brown hair over her shoulder, “can't you just text him ?”

Jaehyun cleared his throat and found himself standing up, throwing his satchel over his shoulder,

“He doesn't answer his texts, I'll be about five minutes.”

Jaehyun gently stroked Arin’s head as she just shrugged, not really finding him suspicious. Why would Jaehyun be interested in people like that ? He was a good guy and he felt most comfortable with her and their circle of friends.

Meanwhile at your table you four were in deep discussion about Johnny’s little halloween get together.

“Why are you only inviting 20 people ?” Taeyong’s eyebrows knitted together, “that's not a party that's a meeting.”

“Because Taeyong, I want it to be an intimate vibe you know” Johnny answered and gestured with his arms in the air, “I cant stand half of this fucking campus and I just want to hang out with the people I actually give a shit about”

“You only met us like a month ago, how did we make the cut?” You raised your eyebrow at him and smirked.

Ten stood up and threw his hands around Johnny and kissed his forehead, “That's because he met me and realized we're the coolest people on campus” Johnny smiled bashfully, completely smitten by Ten as he nodded, “It's true.”

“Uhm Hi..” The four of you stopped your conversation to look at Jaehyun who stood at your table, hands in his pocket, pressing his lips together nervously which made his dimples more prominent.

“Whats up Jae ?” Johnny greeted as the rest of you exchanged a few glances.

Jaehyun briefly looked over at you but he quickly looked away thanks to Taeyong who was placing open mouth kisses on your neck. You smiled to yourself as Jaehyun squirmed uncomfortably, much like everyone that was ever in the presence of you three. Except Johnny ofcourse, he was a weird one.

“I just came over to let you know that we have a basketball meeting at 3 today” Jaehyun spoke in a surprisingly calm tone.

“Oh cool thanks for letting me know man” Johnny played the part of the oblivious friend really well, “By the way this is Ten, thats y/n and the guy practically having her for lunch is Taeyong.”

Taeyong looked up and smiled at Jaehyun and you squeezed his knee, preventing him from doing or saying anything stupid when Jaehyun broke the silence,

“Oh yeah I actually know Ten and y/n from my business lecture” Jaehyun spoke as his eyes met yours.

Ten noticed the tension between you two and a menacing smirk spread across his face, “Well since we all know each other you should come to Johnny's halloween party Jaehyun”

“Halloween party ?” Jaehyun repeated,

“Yeah you should come along, I mean you were asking when is the next party” you added and Jaehyun felt his ears heat up at your words. He had no idea why it felt almost promiscuous just talking to you.

“I'll let you know the details after the meeting, oh and you're free to bring your girl if you want” Johnny grinned and you don't know why, but his words felt like a stab in the chest.

You all watched Jaehyun nod shyly and retreat back to his friends as the rest of you turned your heads to face Johnny. “Hey I just wanted to let him know that he could,” Johnny stated, raising his hands up to defend himself.

“Well I guess if he does bring her then he’s not interested in you, and if he doesn't….” Ten’s words trailed off as you bit down your lip and you watched Jaehyun turn back to look at you before sitting down next to Arin.

“I guess we shall see” you murmured.

————————————

It was the next day you had just finished all your classes and decided to spend a relaxing evening alone at your dorm. You got into an old band shirt and underwear after a steaming shower and jumping on your bed ready to navigate through your social media.

Ping!

Your phone vibrated and your eyes gleamed at the sight of Jaehyuns name blinking across the screen.

JJH: hey

JJH: so....like how many people are going to this party ?

You lingered on his open message for a while but decided to reply to him this time instead of leading him on.

Y/n: I think Johnny said about 20 people...it’s very small.

JJH: oh I see.

JJH: you’re going with your...boyfriend right ?

Y/n: boyfriend ?

JJH: I think his name is Taeyong

Your lips curled into a smirk. Jaehyun was definitely curious about your relationship with Taeyong, and it could mean he was trying to figure out more about you.

y/n: Taeyong is not my boyfriend

You looked at the three dots that signaled he was typing, it seemed to take a while before your phone finally vibrated again.

JJH: oh, I see. Uhm so do we have to dress up ?

Y/N: yeah ! It’s a Halloween party Ofcourse we have to, did Johnny not tell you ?

JJH: I don’t fully believe anything he says so I just wanted a second opinion.

Y/n: well dress up, or else I’ll be very disappointed Jaehyun...

Another moment of silence this time it was longer than the last one. Finally your phone lit up and Jaehyuns name popped up,

JJH: what are you wearing ?

JJH: I mean like to the party not right now

JJH: like costume ....

JJH: that message came out so weird I’m sorry

You giggled to yourself wishing you were there with him to see his ears redden and him stumble over his words as he got nervous around you. God he was so fucking cute.

y/n: it’s a surprise !

JJH: oh I see..

y/n: I’m sure you and Arin can figure something out, anyways I gotta go...I’ll see you around Jae.

Jaehyun's eyes narrowed on your message. He felt an adrenaline rush while he texted you. To him, you were the coolest girl on campus and he couldn’t believe you even bothered to text him back.

But then his shoulders dropped when he saw Arins name. It was like a dark cloud looming over his head. He had no idea if he should let Arin know about the party, it’s not like she’d agree to come anyway, did that mean he shouldn’t go too ?

———————————-

It was finally the evening of the party and you Taeyong and Ten decided to get ready at your dorm. Ten scoffed as Taeyong emerged from the bathroom in red leather pants and a black harness that covered his bare chest.

“You're supposed to wear a costume you know ?” Ten raised his eyebrow as Taeyong strutted around the room looking like a red light district stripper.

“I AM in costume baby, i'm a devil” Taeyong pouted and placed a pair of novelty devil horns on his head.

“Fuck if this Jaehyun thing really doesn't work out I want a piece of that” you licked your lips as Taeyong’s smirk grew, “I told you all you gotta say when and where” he purred.

“y/n I know you love fucking around with twinks but can you please concentrate on the task at hand ?” Ten grumbled and pushed his phone in front of you, waving Jaehyuns instagram in front of your face.

You bit down on your lip as you noticed Jaehyun posted a semi shirtless picture for the first time and the comments were absolutely wild. Many people thought he was hacked and the others were just asking him to jump them. You also noticed a lot of people tagging Arin under the thirst comments which she replied simply with a like.

“You think he is gonna show up tonight and bring her ?” you pouted while applying a coat of lip gloss.

“Either way baby we will have a good time, I'll guarantee you that” Ten stroked your head before heading to the bathroom to prep his costume. You shimmied into your zombie cheerleader costume, ignoring Taeyong’s whistles as he caught a glimpse of your lacy two piece set. The only person you wanted to see your newly bought lingerie was Jaehyun.

Ten finally emerged from the bathroom in an all black shiny leather pants with a matching crop top long sleeve. He looked absolutely delicious with his hair gelled back and his dark eye make-up accentuated his cat-like eyes.

“And what the fuck are you supposed to be?” you chuckled, mouth still gaping as you took in his gorgeous figure.

“Im a cat!” Ten posed cutely, turning his hands into cat paws and brought them up to his face.

“You look like a dominatrix” Taeyong snorted, earning a flick on the forehead from Ten.

You stood up and smoothed out your extremely short skirt as you slipped into your hot pink platform boots. You were going for a cute zombie cheerleader, tearing up a bit of your clothes gave you an excuse to show a bit of that expensive lingerie.

“Is my outfit okay ?” you chewed on your bottom lip as you turned to face Ten and Taeyong.

“Babe I've never seen you this nervous before” Ten groaned as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. It's true, you were a very confident person but you were so clued up on what attracted Jaehyun and what didn't that you began second guessing yourself constantly.

“I...I just want him to like me” You played with the hem of your shirt, when you felt Taeyong stand up and approach the two fo you.

“If he doesn't like you, for you...then he isn't worth it” Taeyong patted your head and his other hand grabbed Ten’s shoulder, pulling the both of you into a tight hug. It felt good knowing you always had them, they were your soulmates, your ride or die, they meant the absolute world to you.

“If it all doesn't work out lets come back here and fuck” Taeyong whispered and you pushed him off playfully, while Ten pulled his face as he returned to his vanity, “classic Taeyong” he shook his head.

The three of you arrived at Johnny’s apartment and you could already hear the chill hip hop playlist vibrating against the door. Ten rolled his eyes as he punched in the door code, “I’ll have to do something about that music,” he tutted, as the three of you walked in greeted by your usual group of friends.

There were a few of Johnny’s basketball mates, the cool ones who snuck around smoking weed with the stoners. You nodded at the familiar faces, Yuta the resident tattoo artist from fourth year, Hendery the distributor from your year and Chaeyoung from Ten’s fashion design class.

Everyone seemed to be in costume, you didn't expect anything less from a group of creatives. Suddenly Johnny emerged from the kitchen holding a few bottles when his eyes lit up at the sight of Ten. Johnny shoved the drinks to an unsuspecting man and jogged over while you and Taeyong tried to stifle your laughter.

“Johnny darling what are you supposed to be dressed as?” Ten mused as his eyes narrowed on Johnny’s selection of outfit.

“Im Tony the Tiger baby!” Johnny flexed, obviously amused by his own outfit as he spun around in his tiger onesie.

“You didn't tell us Johnny was a furry” Taeyong teased as Ten backhanded his abdomen. You could tell that Ten liked Johnny unlike his usual flings. If any of the others pulled this type of stunt he would have walked straight out of this party and called over a side piece.

“Okay Tony the Tiger, can you take a picture of me and my loves for the gram ?” Ten mused and handed his phone over to Johnny. The three of you posed sexily as Johnny hyped you all up, capturing every angle possible. Ten immediately updated the picture to instagram and the likes and comments immediately flew in, asking what party you guys were at. This was how it always was. Nobody wanted to be friends with you guys but nobody wanted to miss out on your adventures together.

Jaehyun took a look at himself in the mirror, adorning his basketball outfit and topped it off with a sweatband around his head. “This is fucking dumb” he thought, second guessing using his team outfit as a halloween costume. The problem was he was told on such short notice that he couldn't really prepare for it. What if their idea of halloween was just dressing up normally, or what if they went all out and he would be the only one in a basic costume ?

Jaehyun sucked in a deep breath as he took a seat on his bed and scrolled through his feed to settle his nerves. While scrolling he noticed one of his friends shared Ten’s post to his story, and immediately clicked it, sucking on his bottom lip as the picture of the three of you unfolded.

You guys were in a different league indeed. Unbelievably confident in your outfits, knowing that everyone was wishing for a chance to be with one of you. Jaehyun’s eyes drifted to you and he felt his breathing hitch, feeling like a prepubescent teen looking at a girl for the first time.

A knock at the door jolted him out of his thoughts and he opened the door to Arin accompanied by three of their friends. Arin reached up and placed a soft kiss on Jaehyun’s lips before entering his dorm and taking a seat on his bed.

“Why are you in your basketball uniform ?” Arin questioned as she scrolled through her phone.

“I...Am going to attend a party..” Jaehyun scratched the back of his head as all eyes were on him. A boy named Minhyuk, Jaehyun knew through Arin cocked his head in confusion, “You're going to a party wearing your uniform ?”

“It's a costume party, I was invited by Johnny” Jaehyun replied to him yet his eyes were Arin waiting for a response. Arin looked up at him and scrunched up her nose, “aren't all those freaks at that party ?”

“Yeah well I'm going for the team, If you want. you can come along” Jaehyun didn't even try to sound convincing, there was no way he wanted Arin or any of his business class friends accompanying him tonight. It didn't have anything to do with you or his odd attraction to the group, it was rather a test for himself, he wanted to see if that kinda lifestyle was what he was craving.

“I’ll pass” Arin chuckled dryly and grabbed her purse before placing a peck on Jaehyuns cheek, “you go for a bit darling, I know it's a team thing, when you're bored come find us at the country club wine night.”

Jaehyun watched everyone leave his dorm and he sighed deeply, still feeling like he lied even though he completely told Arin the truth about his future whereabouts.

“Where is the loverboy ?” Johnny nudged you as you poured yourself another shot of vodka and redbull. You shrugged already deciding on not keeping your hopes up when you heard one of Johnny's frat buffoons scream Jaehyun's name. Spinning on your heels you turned toward the entrance and noticed his shy frame greeting the guys from the basketball team.

“He wore his basketball uniform, Oh my God” Ten snickered along with Taeyong and Johnny.

“He looks hot shut up” You bit down on your lip as your eyes locked with his and he made his way over to you. Jaehyun ruffled his hair as he mumbled a few hellos to Taeyong and Ten before giving Johnny a handshake.

“Glad you made it man, Arin here too ?” Johnny threw his arm around Jaehyun and shoved a beer in his hands. Jaehyun shook his head and took a sip of his beer, “nah it's just me” he spoke and looked over at you. On the outside you probably looked composed but on the inside you were screaming victories. Ten could definitely see the excitement and shot you a wink before clearing his throat,

“Well now that you're here we can finally play spin the bottle!”

“S-spin the bottle ?” Jaehyun chewed on his lip nervously,

“Yeah but like just a few of us come on let's go to Johnny's room” Ten hooked arms with Johnny as he grabbed a few more drinks for you guys to enjoy in privacy.

Jaehyun waited until you were left and the two of you made your way down the hallway to Johnny’s room. You brushed against his bare arm as you walked and looked up at him, “I love your costume, very original” you chuckled and Jaehyun blushed.

“It was short notice, I look stupid but you on the other hand” Jaehyun’s eyes drifted over your figure, “y-you look amazing”

“Thank you Jaehyun.”

You entered the room and noticed Ten had collected Yuta, Hendery, Chaeyoung and one of the fourth years Seungyoun to play the game with the rest of you. Taeyong raised his eyebrow as everyone took a seat in a circle, “Did Ten handpick players for a game or an orgy ?”

Everybody chuckled but Jaehyun shifted awkwardly in the seat next to you. You placed a reassuring hand on his arm and his eyes darted to you, looking like a lost puppy,

“He tends to speak rubbish just ignore him” you smiled. Jaehyun nodded and pressed his lips together as Ten cleared his throat in order for everyone to pay attention,

“Okay please keep the dares spicy but not too spicy we have some taken people in the circle”

Jaehyun looked around the room and noticed the girl called Chaeyoung thank Ten for his words, making him a bit more comfortable that he wasn't the only one in a relationship playing this game. Ten was the first to spin and the bottle landed on Hendery, who was in the middle of lighting a blunt.

“What me first ?” he whined and gave Ten his best puppy eyes in order to go easy on him.

Ten licked his lips and looked around the room, “I dare you to swop boxers with Seungyoun”

The room filled with whistles and disgusted noises as Johnny pointed to his en suite bathroom for the exchange to go down. You all watched as Hendery and Seungyoun disappeared into the bathroom for a good ten minutes and emerged with Seungyoun adjusting his crotch area clearly irritated.

“His fucking boxers are too tight” Seungyoun groaned while the rest of you laughed at his complaints.

Hendery spun the bottle and it landed on you, which made you feel a little at ease as Hendery wasn't the meanest person you knew.

“Do a body shot off of Yuta’s bare body” he said returning to light his precious blunt.

Yuta tore his shirt off within seconds and lay in the middle of the circle with a lemon slice in his mouth. Jaehyun had no fucking idea what a body shot was but he felt his heartbeat speed up as he watched you sprinkle a line of salt down Yuta’s abs and straddle his lap confidently. He had never seen people be this comfortable with each other, he barely even uttered a word of his sex life to any of his friends.

“Yuta get your hand off y/n’s thigh” Taeyong snapped, as Yuta smirked still licking the lemon slice that was placed between his teeth.

You chugged back the shot of tequila and pinned Yuta’s wrists to the floor as your tongue slowly licked up the salt from his body. Jaehyun watched everything intently, you were a pro, so natural and experienced with things like this. He unconsciously licked his lips as you retrieved the lemon slice from Yuta’s mouth, your tongues touching for a brief second before you climbed off him and returned to your seat.

“My turn” you sang and spun the bottle which landed on Johnny. He shot you a dashing smile still sitting in his tiger onesie with his arms wrapped around Ten.

“Since you want to be part of our group so bad, here's an initiation..Kiss Taeyong” you smirked as Johnny’s mouth dropped and Ten burst into a fit of laughter.

Taeyong shrugged and raised his eyebrow at Johnny, to him shit like this didn't phase him at all. Johnny slowly crawled over to Taeyong and hesitantly leaned in, his huge frame comically shaking in front of the small man. Johnny placed a finger under Taeyongs chin and kissed him softly for about a minute until he yelled and stood up,

“He stuck his tongue in my mouth!” Johnny whined,

“And ? How else do you kiss ?” Taeyong rolled his eyes and wiped his lips as the bigger man continued throwing a fit until Ten calmed him down,

“It's your turn baby”

Johnny frowned but spun the bottle, this time it landed on Jaehyun who now sat upright as everyone's eyes were now on him.

“Please go easy on him” you mused and rubbed Jaehyun’s back in order to calm him down.

“Uh...it's okay I can handle it” Jaehyun responded with a small smile and looked up at Johnny.

“Okay” Johnny began, “because you're my homie all you gotta do is take off your shirt and keep it that way for the rest of the game.”

Jaehyun felt the tension as he got to his feet and caressed the hem of his shirt. Everyone watched in anticipation as he slowly lifted his shirt, quickly pushing it over his head and discarded it behind him. You marvelled at his toned body, wishing everyone else were not in the room so you could jump him. Heck everybody could watch, you wanted him so bad.

Everyone whistled as Jaehyun took his seat and his cheeks reddened slightly, he couldn't believe he was sitting shirtless with a group of people he barely knew.

The game went on with various pairings taking part in stupid dares until Johnny called the end to the game because he wanted all of you to socialize with everyone else on the outside but you all knew he just wanted everyone out of his bedroom so he could fuck Ten.

The party moved on and you found yourself lingering in the hallway just sipping on your drink when you noticed Jaehyun watching you from a few feet away. You shot him a smile, giving him an invitation to join you and he finally gathered the courage to do so.

“Hey” Jaehyun smiled and leaned on the wall opposite you. His eyes would briefly move to your body and each time he would mentally scold himself which you noticed and found amusing.

“You know Jaehyun if you find me attractive it's not a crime” you smirked,

“What's in my mind feels like a crime though”

“Oh?” you cocked your head to the side, “and what's on your mind?”

Jaehyun blushed and bit down on his lip, “you don't want to know”

This was it, the opening. You slowly walked over to Jaehyun and when he didn't move you moved even closer, just a few inches away from his body. Jaehyun gulped as he watched you lick your lips seductively and your dark eyes looked up at him.

“Do you want to show me ?” you purred and ghosted your fingers lightly across his bicep.

“Fuck I want to….but”

You placed your index finger to your lips and shook your head, “There's a reason you came over here Jaehyun, and if you cared about your relationship you wouldn't allow me to be this close right now”

You pushed yourself up on your toes and placed your lips against his ear, “I’ll give you one last chance, tell me no and walk out of this party, go back to her and forget about me or stay and show me what's on that dirty mind of yours.”

Jaehyun felt goosebumps on his skin, he had never felt this way with anyone in his entire life. With Arin their sex life was pretty vanilla and whenever he would try to spice it up, she would shut him down and say she wasn't interested. But here with you, he was hard as rock just by your words. He couldn't even imagine what it probably felt like to have you bent over and him have his way with you. The only thing on his mind was ruining your pretty make-up as he took you from behind.

You moved closer again, challenging him in order to make up his mind but he surprised you by licking his lips as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Within seconds your lips were attached to his and you felt dizzy with ecstasy. He was sweeter than you dreamed and he matched your desperation as he caressed your face groaning into the kiss finally releasing his pent up stress.

You pulled away and Jaehyun whined already missing your lips and you giggled cutely, “before I continue I do want to say that I do like you Jaehyun like fucking really like you”

“You like me ? why? Aren't I too boring for you” his eyes looked at you puzzled. You grabbed his hand and led him into the free bedroom next to Johnny's room and locked the door behind you, drowning out the noise from the party.

“Yeah I like you and no you're not boring you're one of us, I know it”

Jaehyun felt flushed, he somehow felt he was included in something he had always been missing. Despite all the sexual innuendos and the drugs sex and alcohol lifestyle that became the brand of the group he saw something more. Everyone was comfortable and nobody judged him here. Sure he didn't fit in and they could've easily outcast him like the prep group would've, but everyone was so nice to him. On top of all of that he was incredibly attracted to you, and now that you had confessed to him he only wanted you more.

From the first night you approached him he was floored. He wished he swapped places with Taeyong just to make you feel like you were on cloud 9. He loved how unapologetically yourself you were and all he wanted was to learn from you. Learn more about himself and explore freely without feeling boxed in.

“Fuck y/n I like you too, from the moment I laid eyes on you I wanted you” Jaehyun groaned and placed his hands on your shoulders, “I’ll deal with Arin right now if you want me too, Im yours.”

You bit down on your lip and pulled him closer by his waistband as he noticed your eyes darken under the dimmed lights,

“No….I kinda wanna fuck you while she thinks she still has you” You mewled, and licked your lips.

Your words made Jaehyun go crazy and his lips were back on yours this time rougher than before. He practically ripped open your skirt as you rid yourself of your boots,

“Shit fuck im sorry I’ll buy you another” he cursed and you chuckled leading him over to the bed. You discarded his shirt and basketball shorts, purring at the sight of his greek statue-like physique. Jaehyun helped you out of your shirt and ran his large hands over your breasts and lower back as you straddled him. This exchange was different for you too. Many hookups were just filled with lust but none had this type of passion and desperation. There were moments where you and Jaehyun would just exchange gazes, completely in awe of the other person.

You ran your fingers below the waistband of his boxers and felt his hardened member twitch at your touch. Jaehyun moaned into your ears as you teased him, stroking him gently while nipping away at his neck. “You gonna be a good boy and let me mark you ?” you cooed and Jaehyun whined in response, turning his head allowing you to turn his pale skin purple.

“Baby Arin is gonna see what i've done to your neck, should I stop?”

“No please dont...stop” Jaehyun squirmed underneath you completely under your spell.

You pulled down Jaehyun’s boxers and watched his member spring up and hit his abdomen. You quickly rid yourself of your bra and panties and rolled onto your back, spreading your legs and turned your head to Jaehyun,

“Show me how much you want me baby, show me what you were thinking about earlier on” you moaned and Jaehyun thought he was going to explode just by how needy you were for him.

Jaehyun sat up and hovered over you as his eyes softened, running his hand over your body “If its too much, please let me know” you reached up to caress his face, feeling butterflies in your stomach from his sweet words,

“Sure baby, just give me your best I just want you so bad”

Jaehyun’s expression switched and his eyes narrowed like a lion looking at its prey. He brought his hand up and slapped you on your ass which made you moan out loud. He used the opportunity to finally play out his fantasy and flipped you over so you were on your hands and knees, ass on full display for him as he licked his lips at the sight.

He placed two digits in his mouth, lathing them up before pushing them into your already wetness. Your moan earned another smack from Jaehyun and he pumped his fingers in you at an extremely slow and agonizing pace. You whined into the pillow and he smirked, he couldn't believe he got you to beg for his touch like this.

“Baby I don't have a condom” He mumbled, still keeping his fingers inside of you as you whined beneath him,

“I'm on the pill, just cum wherever you want” You groaned as you felt Jaehyun’s fingers move a bit faster.

Jaehyun growled at your words and without warning he replaced his fingers with his member and slammed into you, grabbing both your hands and retrained them behind your back. He marvelled at the site of your face pressed into the bed as he restrained your touch and fucked you from behind.

“That feels so fuckiing good Jae” you cried, the sensation was already too much for you to handle but you tried your best not to chase your orgasm just yet.

“You're so tight fuck” Jaehyun groaned as he felt you squeeze around him sending his mind into a frenzy. Jaehyun pulled out of you and flipped you back over, entering you while your thighs locked around his waist. Your eyes were locked on him as he fucked you harder than anyone has before, that shy boy he was a few hours ago was completely gone.

“Are you ready to cum baby?” Jaehyun hummed in your ear as he still pounded into you mercilessly and wrapped his hand around throat.

“Y-yeah” you managed to say, feeling as though you were going to see fucking stars any second.

Jaehyun bit into your shoulder as he used all his energy to bring to your orgasm before he himself exploded. You finally sighed deeply signaling your orgasm had reached and Jaehyun pulled out of you, coming undone all over your stomach, the sight of him totally fucked out was absolutely delicious.

Jaehyun watched you swipe your index finger across your stomach and bring it to your mouth, tasting him as if it was the sweetest thing in the world.

“Fuck…” he watched you, already feeling like you were about to make him as hard as a rock again.

You wrapped your hand around his neck and pulled him in for a soft yet passionate kiss. Jaehyun broke away and quickly got tissues to clean the both of you up before collapsing in the bed next to you.

“That was the best fuck i've had in my entire life” he sighed and placed his arm around your head and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Same for me baby, but let's get dressed before one of my crazy friends decides to join us” you giggled and threw him his boxers.

You and Jaehyun dressed up and you managed to safety pin the skirt rip Jaehyun had made, still hearing him mutter apologies as the two of you made your way back to the party.

The two of you found the main group hanging around the kitchen snacking on pizza until they saw the two of you and everyone started howling and whistling.

“Can you guys shut the fuck up” You rolled your eyes as you grabbed a slice and rested your head on Ten’s shoulder. Johnny went in and high fived Jaehyun, “damn didn't think you had it in you brother” Johnny patted his back as Jaehyun slipped into the seat next to you and held your waist.

“I guess Jaehyun is one of us” Taeyong said, quite impressed by the outcome.

“I told you guys, oh wait” You stopped to pull out your phone and turn on the front facing camera, “smile”

Jaehyun chuckled and leaned closer into the frame as the flash blinked, just before the shutter went off you turned to him and licked his cheek seductively. Taking a quick look at the picture you smirked as you uploaded the picture to your instagram and watched as your whole timeline exploded with the scandalous picture.

You held the phone up to Jaehyun as he watched the comments flooding in, many people mad at his adultery and many people surprised he managed to even pull a girl like you and gave him props.

“Welcome to the freaks club Jung Jaehyun” you smirked.

Taeten x reader prequel here

#jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #nct127 smut #nct smut #nct scenarios #taeyong smut #ten smut #wayv smut #nct127 drabble #jaehyun au #jung yuno #jung jaehyun #nct au #yuta smut #nct reactions

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vendettaparker · 3 years

Text

Peanut Butter and Extra Jelly [T.H]

Summary: Tom’s long time crush on you becomes painful when you and Harrison are cast as love interests in a movie.

Paring: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Warning: Suggestive themes, fake smut (very light), jealousy, probably some typos, swearing

a/n: i have no idea how filming a movie, or auditioning for one actually goes so don’t crucify me for this. i’m pretty happy with how this turned out, especially considering that this is the most i’ve ever written for a fic. also, Burt Kreisher is one of my fav comedians in real life, he has 3 shows on neflix and a mini series.

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Tom was not a jealous person. At least, that's what he always told himself. He prided himself in thinking he was a very level headed individual who didn’t let his emotions get the best of him. That worked best for his job anyways; always being able to control his emotions and not get in his own head. That simple, pacifistic mindset seemed to change when it came to you.

You were one of the many actors Tom got the pleasure to help hone their technique and work closely with. You were new to the lifestyle of Hollywood and the only roles you had before were in small indie films that never garnered too much attention. The first major role that you landed, which also happened to help kickstart your career, was in the MCU. You played the secondary villain in the third Spider-man movie.

Meeting the cast was a dream come true; they were all extremely helpful and they provided tons of tips and tricks in navigating the hectic schedule required for such a huge production. By the time filming wrapped up, you were considered part of their little Spider-man family.

Tom was easily the most helpful. Whenever he saw you struggling with anything, he offered to help. You two spent hours upon hours together in his trailer, ordering take out and practicing lines. Some nights you two planned to work through your script, but inevitably ended up falling asleep binge watching The Office, and laughing about crazy shit that happened on set that day.

When the movie wrapped up and you went home for a month before the press tour, you were completely unsure and nervous about what direction your career was going in. You auditioned for a few new movies, but had yet to hear from any of the directors about casting decisions. You kept in touch Tom during the month you were apart and expressed your concerns.

“I don’t know, Tom. I’m just so sick of waiting around and hoping that some director out there throws me a bone, ya know’?” You said on facetime, while making cookies.

“Yeah, I totally understand that, (Y/N/N). I had that issue a couple years ago before the Marvel movies. Trust me, you did outstanding in that role and once it gets noticed I’m positive you’ll have directors calling you, begging for you to audition.” Tom smiled warmly into the camera as he walked around his apartment in London.

“Yeah, easy for you to say, movie-star.” You giggled, turning your face away from the camera in hopes that Tom wouldn’t notice the blush his compliments painted onto your cheeks

“I’m serious! You were outstanding! Like in that one scene where you—”

“Tom! Tessa chewed a hole in my trousers again!” A voice came from outside of the frame, “Mate, you gotta get her to stop doing that somehow.”

Tom sighed, and waved his hand dismissively at the figure, “Okay, sure. I’m busy right now.” Tom looked back to the camera, “anyways, as I was saying, don’t stress about not having a new project yet, (Y/N)—”

“(Y/N)?” The other voice whisper-yelled. “Let me say hi!”, suddenly the phone was yanked out of Tom's hands and the video shook around a bit as Tom wrestled to get it back. Finally, the camera stilled and Harrison was on the other end smiling. “Hi, (Y/N)!”

“Oh, hi Harrison!” You smiled back, laughing. You'd met Harrison a few times when he visited Tom on set. “How are you?”

The camera started moving around more as the background behind Harrsion whizzed past. You assumed Tom must’ve been chasing him to get the phone back.

“I’m good! I just auditioned for a new movie. You should audition too! The main female lead’s description looks just like you.” He exclaimed, running past the kitchen to his room.

“Oi! Give me my phone back you div!” You heard Tom yelling in the background, no doubt in hot pursuit of Harrison.

“I don’t know, I'm not sure I’m prepared for a lead role.” You sighed, “What’s the movie called? I’ll look into it.”

“It’s called ‘Collateral Damage’, it’s a spy movie.” Harrison said, shutting the door to his room, while Tom pounded on it from the other side. “Yeah, it’d be really fun working with you. Tom constantly talks about how much fun you are on set.” Harrison wheezed out, trying to catch his breath.

“Aw, that’s sweet of him.” You laughed. “Well I’ve got to go. Just tell Tom he can call me tomorrow or something.” You waved at the camera. “Bye!”

“Yup, bye.” Harrison said right before the video cut out.

Harrison finally opened the door to a seething Tom. Tom grabbed the phone back from Harrison and noticed that the call had ended.

“Dude! Why would you do that?” Tom whined.

Harrison just patted Tom’s back, “Sorry, mate. She said she had to go, though. I was about to give the phone back.”

Tom huffed and sulked for a moment. “Whatever, I’ll just call her later, I guess.”

Harrison nodded and smirked at how whipped Tom was. “You should just ask her out if you’re so desperate for her attention.” Harrison teased.

“Shut up. I’m not desperate for her attention, I just like her voice and her personality, and the way she talks, and her funny sayings, and how her hair looks when she just woke up.”

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It was only a few days later when you received an email from the director of the movie Harrison told you about, asking for you to audition. You were ecstatic, Harrison must’ve already sent in some things about you since the director seemed adamant that you were of high interest for the role.

You called Tom immediately to share the good news.

He picked up after the third ring, “Hello, darling! How are you?” he beamed when he answered your call. He usually was the one to call you so he felt a sense of pride knowing that you were calling him for once.

“Tom! The director of the movie Harrison auditioned for just emailed me asking for me to audition!” You squealed excitedly.

“Really? That’s wonderful, love! Harrison just got the part of the lead too, so you’d be filming with him if you got it.”

“That’s so exciting, I’m flying to London for the audition in two days. Are you still there?” You pulled the phone away from your ear and switched it to speaker. “I’m booking the flight right now.”

“Yeah, I’ll be in London for another week and a half. Then we have the press tour starting in Japan.” Tom said, also switching to speaker phone to look at his calendar. “You can stay with Harrison and I while you’re here. Since we have to go to Japan together anyways.” Tom offered nervously. He really wanted you to stay in his flat with him. It’d be all cute and domestic, and maybe, just maybe, he’d spend enough time with you to not feel nervous about asking you on a date. If he was lucky, that is, but awaiting your reply he was a jittery ball of nerves.

“Yeah, that sounds wonderful. I won't be intruding though, right?” You said, smiling from ear to ear. Thank god you weren’t on facetime and Tom couldn’t see the stupid smile adoring your features.

“No, of course not. Harry will be so excited to see you. And Tessa too, she really misses you.” Tom shuffled around with his phone, shooting a quick text to Harrison letting him know you were coming to stay for a week.

“Ok, thanks so much, this is really thoughtful of you. I absolutely can’t wait to see you!” You gushed, finalizing your purchase of a one-way ticket to London. “K, the flight is at 2:30 pm here, it’s about 9 and a half hours, but you’re also ahead of me, so I’ll be in around..5?”

“Yeah, that sounds right to me,” Tom chuckled, “I’ll come pick you up. I’ll wear my incognito disguise.”

“If you mean that stupid t-shirt you got that says ‘I’M NOT A CELEBRITY’, then maybe I’ll ask Harrison to come pick me up…”

“That’s cold (Y/L/N).”

You giggled softly, “I’m sorry, Tommy. If it makes you feel better, that shirt isn’t as bad as that stupid blue beanie that you never wear correctly.”

“How the fuck would that make me feel better? You’re killing me, (Y/N/N).”

You laughed at his over dramatic reaction, “Sorry that you’re a sensitive babe. I gotta go now, see you soon!” You hung up before Tom could respond with a sassy quip. Then immediately after you received a text:

Tommy: The second you get here I’m bout to 👊

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Tom called Harrison up after you got off the phone, he needed to make sure his best friend wouldn’t say or do anything to embarrass him in front of you.

“Tom, don’t you think this is a bit obsessive? I mean, she’s only staying with us for a week and you already know her so well from spending all that time filming with her.” Harrison sighed, sick of listening to Tom ramble about every possible embarrassing situation he could be put in, in the coming week.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It's no big deal. But don’t mention that time I accidentally shit my pants at the club, or that time I got hit in the head with a golf ball ‘cus I got distracted by a flock of geese, or that time a got chased by a flock of geese, or—”

“Geez, mate. At this point we might as well not even talk to her.” Harrison chuckled, thinking of all the stories he could bring up about Tom around the dinner table with you. Tom really was just a walking ball of embarrassing moments.

“Stoppp ittt,” Tom whined, “when we were on set it was usually just the cast and Harry around, but you? You could do some real fucking damage to my love life, Haz.”

“What love life?” Harrison barked out, laughing.

Tom then hung up and began praying to whatever god was out there that this week could go by without a hitch, and then you and him would be on your way, together, to Japan.

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The whole week spent in London actually went really well, especially the audition. Tom and Harrison both accompanied you for moral support, well Harrison actually had to be there to be your scene partner, but it was still nice knowing he supported you.

The director shook your hand and you went through the normal formalities before beginning your scene with Harrison. It was a quick scene with a monologue in it. The main premise of the movie was all about choosing love over work, especially in dangerous, life-threatening scenarios. The scene you used to audition with Harrison was the scene where the main character, Lincoln, and his lover interest, Mallory, were arguing, trying to push each other away to keep each other safe. The scene had a lot of raw emotion that you were able to tap into, and the directors gave your performance a standing ovation once the scene concluded.

They said that they’d get back to you within the next few days, but they also mentioned how the chemistry between you and Harrison was off the charts, leaving you hopeful. Tom and Harrison both gave you hugs and pats on the back. Tom had watched the whole scene unfold and he was in complete and utter awe of your talent. Part of him was annoyed that he didn’t audition for the movie and a chance as your love interest. But Harrison deserved this big break and so did you, so he was hopeful of the outcome being something that benefitted both of his best friends.

After the audition the rest of the week went by nearly perfectly. The real kicker was when Tom’s family invited you and Harrison to join them for dinner. Tom had not anticipated his mom asking you to come to family dinner, so he wasn’t able to stop the embarrassing anecdotes his mom told on his behalf.

“Tom had the cutest little tush,” Nikki exclaimed, placing the old homemade scrapbook in your lap and flipping through a couple of pages. “See look,” she happily pointed to a picture of Tom as a toddler in a bath, surrounded by bubbles, his little bum poking through them.

Tom sat uncomfortably on the sofa next to you, cringing at the now 21 year old photo of him. He expected you to also cringe along, or worse case scenario, get up and make a flimsy excuse to leave his crazy family, but you just chuckled along with Nikki and continued making your way through the scrapbook, making little comments here and there.

“Oh, and this one,” Nikki said, pointing to a photo of Tom crying and Sam holding up a superhero action figure triumphantly, “that was Tom’s favorite toy, but when Sam saw how much Tom liked it, he made an effort to always be playing with it when Tom came into the room and he wouldn’t share.”

You giggled at the little whiny face Tom made in the picture, and turned to him, replicating it on your face, making fun of him. Tom laughed along and playfully shoved you. He adored how well you seemed to fit in with his family and his feelings for you only multiplied.

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The week in London was one of the best in your life. You didn’t realize how much you missed Tom until you got to the airport and he was there waiting for you, unfortunately in his stupid blue beanie, and no, it wasn’t on right, his big ears poked out of it horrendously.

The last day you had in London before you and Tom went to Japan, you finally received a call about the audition. The director called you to congratulate you on getting the part, and he sent you numerous emails about scheduling, where to be, and when. Harrison was elated to have a familiar face playing his love interest on screen, and Tom was over the moon excited for you, this on top of the Spider-man movie coming out, you were certainly becoming a force to be reckoned with.

You spent the night celebrating at a club, Harry and Sam also showed up to party with you. The night was still young and the club was already packed and in full swing. Tom ordered two shots for each of you to start off the night before he was whisked away by a few fans to sign autographs. When he didn’t return you took it upon yourself to have his shots, giving you an extra edge to help spice up your night.

Harrison found Tom in the corner of the club talking to some fans. But throughout his whole time taking pictures with them, he couldn’t help but glance at you every once and a while. You looked so carefree and beautiful, dancing around in your shiny silver top and leather leggings.

“Tom.” Harrison interrupted Tom’s gawking and directed his attention to the small group of fans Tom was with.

Tom nodded and finished up his pictures and autographs before wishing them all a good and safe night. Once he reached you, you engulfed him in a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you for such a great time in London, Tommy.” you slurred, already feeling the impact of the four shots you took. “I had the best time of my whole life.” You pecked his cheek and pulled him close to dance with you.

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The following month or so on the press tour was a once in a lifetime experience. You travelled to more cities than you even knew the name of and you had all of your friends by your side. More so, you had motivation to remain approachable and well liked by fans considering that you were moving up in the industry. Some interviews were mostly for Tom, Zendaya, and Jacob. Your role in the movie was big enough for you to be needed for some interviews, and most people were genuinely interested in getting to know you, but there were also a handful of press activities that you weren’t included in, which you didn’t mind.

When you didn’t have anything to do for an hour or so, you would text Harrison and send him funny memes. He was quickly becoming one of your closest friends; you had already created a surplus of inside jokes with him just over the phone.

Tom noticed how you were always laughing at your phone or rapid fire texting. Even when you were being interviewed, Tom could faintly hear the buzz of your text message notifications going off.

“Tom,” you snapped in front of his eyes, “did you need something?”

“Huh?” Tom blinked a few times, “Uh—no, sorry.” Tom’s cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed for having been caught staring at you. He couldn’t help it though, you were dressed so pretty that day. You had your hair done up in two bubble braids and you wore his pink sweatshirt over your yellow sundress.

“Okay then.” You smiled at him. You went back to your phone, reading what Harrison had just texted you. “What was the name of that comedian we watched the other night?”

“The one on Netflix?”

You hummed out a yes, tapping away at your phone.

“Burt Kreisher, why?” Tom asked, leaning over to your chair to try and catch a glimpse of who you were texting. When he saw the contact name “Hazzy”, he couldn't stop the little angry pit of jealousy that started in his stomach. Sure, you were here with him now, not with Harrison, but when you two were apart you also texted him nonstop, and the texts seemed to all be inside jokes, which was something you also shared with him that he held near and dear.

“I made a joke referencing him to Harrison and he didn’t get it. Fucking nerd.” You chuckled, texting Harrison a link to the skit you were referring to.

Tom chuckled along, but he couldn’t help but frown slightly at how bright your smile was when Harrison replied.

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The press tour and premiere of the movie seemed to go by lighting fast. You’d never been to a premiere for a production this big, and your nerves for the red carpet were starting to get to you.

You and Zendaya were stuffed into a hotel room with both of your respective teams, both trying to rapidly get both of you ready for the event.

“So when do you start filming for your next project?” Zendaya asked, she sat in front of a broadway-equse mirror, bright bulbs of light giving a luminescent glow to her already near flawless complexion. She hadn’t even finished her makeup yet and she was so pretty.

“In a month, I have to go back to London next week.” You said, sifting through the opinions you brought for dresses. You brought three options, just in case you changed your mind after seeing yourself in the dress. “Harrison and I are going to go over the scripts together and we were also told to go out in public a few times; for press and whatnot.”

“That’s exciting!” Zendaya mused, she glanced at the clock and gave her hairdresser some instructions about how much time she had to do hair. “It’s a good thing you guys are already friends. I remember when I filmed ‘The Greatest Showman’ I didn’t know many of the actors personally, so we had to go out together and do press all while being almost strangers. It was a bit nerve wracking.” Zendaya smiled at you fondly, she was like an older sister to you during this whole movie-making process, she constantly had your back.

“Yeah, I mean I’ll probably be in a situation like that at some point, but for my first lead role it’s nice to be working opposite a friend.” You smiled back, finally deciding on the red, sequined dress.

You both sat and worked through the makeup process in comfortable silence.

“So you and Tom…” Zendaya broke the silence and looked at you with a smirk on her face.

“What?” You looked at her with a dumbfounded look, before nervously laughing, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb, (Y/N/N).” She poked your arm and laughed, “He’s literally obsessed with you.”

You laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. A movie star, and very famous movie star at that, obsessed with you? You? Impossible.

“Yeah no, sorry but you got the wrong girl, babe.” You sighed, pulling out your phone to snap and selfie with her for your instagram story. You quickly snapped a pic of the two of you, her kissing your cheek, leaving a small, faint lipstick mark. “I mean it’d be nice,” you back tracked, “but I’m sure that’s just my wishful thinking.”

“What wishful thinking? I thought you were a pessimist?” Zendaya chuckled, taking her own photo with you to post later.

“I am, but I can’t help but indulge a bit.”

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Before you knew it, you were back in London, staying in a rented out flat for the next three to four months. Harrison was kind enough to come over to help you set up a work space, but he also offered you to spend most of your time at his place. Since Tom was in New York, doing interviews about the new Spider-man movie and having meetings with the Marvel Cinematic Universe team to try and gauge his future in the MCU, he wouldn’t be around for almost a month, so Harrison offered up Tom’s office when you needed to go over a scene by yourself and wanted a place that was already set up.

The days of filming seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Most of your scenes were with Harrison, and he was the perfect scene partner. He rarely messed up, but if he did then he was quick to use it as an opportunity to improvise. His skills weren’t as well honed in like Tom’s, but it was obvious that their style ranged from a similar source.

The main thing about this movie that you were excited, but extremely nervous for, were the two sex scenes. The first one is at the beginning, where the two leads give in to each other for a night, then there's some implied stuff in between, and the last one is when the two leads part ways for the final time at the end of the movie. The first one had to be rough, fast, and needy, whereas the second one was direct to be more slow, thought out, and sensual.

Both were extremely stress-inducing to film. Harrison had also never done any scenes like this before, so he was on the same boat as you. Thankfully you had an amazing director and stunt coordinator to work with and with the help of other crew members, the scenes were mapped out so that it wasn’t too much improv or guessing on your part.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

The first intimate scene you shot actually happened to be the one at the end of the movie. That scene was more tame and dealt with more emotional subtexts than physical. Since you filmed that one first, you went into filming the next one with more confidence. It only took a few days to get the first scene down to perfection, so with this newfound confidence, it shouldn’t take too long to get the next one done.

On the days you shot intimate scenes, you only needed to wear the costume you wore before the scene and then you changed into a robe with nude underwear underneath. The bits with the outfit on before were already shot, so the director called a 30 minute break until you could begin shooting the actual sex part.

You were standing by the snack table, eyes scanning the table for any more muffins leftover from breakfast. The robe you wore made your skin prickle whenever a draft came onto set.

Just as you had found the muffin you were looking for, a pair of warm hands covered your eyes.

“Guess who!” An all too familiar warm, British accentuated, voice called.

You turned around in his arms, effectively nudging his hands from your face, and soon you were met with the warmest hazel eyes. Eyes that you missed so much this past month.

“Tommy!” You squealed and thrusted yourself into him in a hug. He immediately reciprocated it and wrapped your body in warmth. “What’re you doing here?” You asked once you let go of him.

“Harrison gave me the location so I could come watch you film. I just got home, like, two days ago.” Tom eyed you up and down, not realizing what little you had on. “Um—are you wearing anything under that?” He pointed up and down your figure.

“Nope, today and tomorrow we’re scheduled to film the sex scene.” You said casually, doing a silly twirl. Tom gulped.

“A s-sex scene?” He choked, “I didn’t know you guys had one.”

“Yup,” you smirked, “two actually, this is my first one ever, Haz’s too, I think. Well actually, we filmed the sex scene at the end of the movie last week.��

“Yeah… t-that’s cool.” Tom smiled weakly.

Right as you were about to continue your conversation with Tom, an arm swung over your shoulder and pulled you close. Harrison smiled at the both of you. He wore a similar robe to yours, except he left the front open. His plaid boxers on full display.

“Don’t listen to her, Tom. She’s a natural.” Harrison pinched your cheeks. Tom clenched his jaw at the comment. He knew Harrison hadn't meant to imply anything with it, but he couldn't help but hear the hidden meaning behind the otherwise innocent compliment.

You giggled and pushed his hand away, “Only ‘cus my scene partner is so darn cute.” You retaliated, poking and tickling his pecs.

This kind of goofy banter was normal between you and Harrison, but Tom hadn’t seen either of you in so long. He also had never seen you two interact so fluently with each other. He watched the interaction with a tight-lipped smile, nodding along and shrugging every once in a while to seem like he was paying attention. In reality though, he couldn’t pry his thoughts away from how close you were to Harrison.

“Ok everyone! Places! Let’s wrap this scene up and put it to rest today!” Your director called. You and Harrison smiled and waved goodbye to Tom. Harrison pointed to a chair in the room that had a nice view of the set where Tom could watch. Tom nodded and walked over to the chair, enthusiasm for watching you work completely dissipating.

The scene started off rough right off the bat. The second the director said ‘Action!’ you and Harrison were practically pouncing on each other. Harrison had you pressed up against the wall and you were both breathing heavily. He was leaving sloppy, wet kisses down your neck, then across your collar bones. Your moans, which Tom always imagined to sound like music to his ears, sounded too real for his liking. But no matter how much he tried to look away, his eyes were glued to the two bodies moving fluidly with one another.

“Cut! Cut!” The director yelled, effectively ending the scene. You and Harrison pulled apart and he gave you a peck on the cheek, as in saying ‘good job’. “That was good, but Harrison,” The blonde nodded, awaiting further instruction. “You gotta be a little rougher, hm?”

Harrison nodded along with the critique. “(Y/N)?” the director moved his attention to you, “would it be okay if Harrison marked you up? Just a few hickeys to really sell the illusion. We can do without, though, if you feel uncomfortable.”

Tom overheard the interaction and internally hoped that you were too uncomfortable for that, but deep down he knew you would do it. You were never the type to stray away from a challenge.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded, chest still heaving from the scene. You looked at Harrison. “Is that okay with you?”

Harrison nodded, a shy smile tugging at his lips. Yeah, you guys have been working at this scene for days now, but he’d never been rough enough to leave marks. He’d be lying if he said the thought didn’t invigorate him.

So the scene started from the top, you pressed up against the wall, all your weight shoved between the flimsy wall of the set and Harrison’s strong arms. Harrison did exactly as the director required, leaving noticeable dark spots across the top of your chest. Unlike your previous moans, which had just been for show, this new roughness in his actions tore real moans from your lips.

Tom sat uncomfortably in his chair, wishing he picked a different day to visit you on set. He shifted around, watching twin moans pull from both you and Harrison’s throat. He watched as you nipped at Harrison's ear as he faux thrusted into you. The jealousy that had pitted itself in his stomach soon turned to self-loathing. You looked really into the scene, he couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding. He knew you were a great actress, but he couldn’t believe that this was all acting. In his eyes, he believed that some part of you must wish that this was real. And part of you did like this scenario, but you wouldn’t have picked Harrison to be opposite you in this little fantasy.

Your moans and Harrisons both grew louder, leading up to the climax as scripted. Tom, not wanting to watch anymore exited the set quickly before he could watch the scene end.

You and Harrison finished up, gaining applause and praise afterwards from the director and crew members on set.

“Where’s Tom?” You asked, scrambling back into your robe and smoothing out your now roughed up hair.

Harrison, now noticing the absence of his best friend, began to feel a bit guilty. He knew Tom had a thing for you, maybe he should’ve told Tom not to visit set today.

“Um, (Y/N)?” He mumbled, pulling you aside slightly.

“Yeah?” You still looked around for Tom a bit, heart sinking when you realized that he must've left without saying goodbye.

“I shouldn’t be the one telling you this,” Harrison began, drawing your full attention, “but Tom really likes you. He always downplayed it, so I didn’t realize how much, but I think watching this scene might’ve upset him a bit.” Harrison looked towards the exit, no doubtedly where Tom left through, out into the parking lot.

“Oh—oh!” You gasped, feeling terribly for having put Tom in such an awkward position. “I didn’t know he felt the same.” You whispered, smiling softly to yourself. Guess Z was right after all. You pulled away from Harrison, “I’ll go talk to him.”

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Tom didn’t go far. He still wanted to be there to support you; he didn’t want to come off as a jealous prick, but he couldn’t keep watching that intimacy between you and his best friend. He sat on the curb outside of the building the set was built in. A few people passed him going to their designated buildings on the lot, but he didn’t pay any mind to them, too lost in his thoughts. He needed to tell you sooner rather than later how he felt. No time to be a pussy anymore.

“Tom?” You walked up next to his sitting figure, still only in a robe, tightly wrapped around you. He looked up to acknowledge you, mumbling a soft ‘Hey.’ before looking back down, trying to collect his thoughts and courage. It’s now or never.

You sat beside him and rested your head on his shoulder. “Harrison told me something interesting in there,” You paused for a moment before continuing, “about you.”

Tom’s head shot up, and he looked at you with frantic eyes, only imagining the worse. There were too many things Harrison could’ve told you about Tom to sully your image of him.

“Whatever it was, he's a lying prick!” Tom rushed out.

You giggled, lifting your head up to look him in the eyes, his dark hazel eyes boring into yours.

“That’s a shame then,” You shrugged, “considering I like you too.”

Tom breathed out a sigh of relief, before looking back at you, doing a double take.

“Wait, what?”

“Mhm, yeah.” You said casually, standing up. “But since Harrison’s a liar then I suppose he was wrong.” You teased.

“No!” Tom grabbed your wrist and pulled you back next to him, but his aim was a bit off and you ended up in his lap. “He lies about a lot, but not about this.”

You smiled at him, “I should hope not, considering I’m crazy about you.”

Tom couldn’t help the smile that beamed across his face, but then he noticed the marks left on you by Harrison. Remembering why he was insecure in the first place, he looked away.

“What about Harrison?” He asked. You looked at him utterly confused. Tom caught on and explained further. “You looked like you were really into that scene with him.”

You giggled and pinched Tom’s cheek, turning it red. “I’m an actress, you idiot.”

Tom scoffed, “I know that. It’s just— I didn’t realize you could fake that kind of love.”

You looked at Tom’s downcast face. You leaned in and kissed his neck, just under his jaw. You nipped and sucked softly, leaving a nice, dark pink blotch that would go away in a few days under his jaw and he whimpered softly.

“I’d never fake that kind of love with you.” You grabbed his face, holding it gently in your hands. “I’d never have to.” You whispered, pulling him in for a kiss, soft and sweet.

Tom pulled you closer, resting a hand on the small of your back, kissing back fervently.

The short make-out session being cut short by the door to the set bursting opened. Harrison rushing out, now dressed in slacks and a white button up for the next scene you needed to shoot that day.

“(Y/N)! Hair and makeup need you.” You lugged yourself off of Tom’s lap, promising to talk to him after you finished for the day. You went back inside, jokingly blowing a kiss to Harrison on your way.

Harrison stayed outside and sat next to Tom.

“Did she confess first?” He asked after a moment of silence.

“Yup.” Tom smiled happily, licking his lips, tasting the strawberry chapstick he saw you put on earlier.

“You owe me 10 pounds then, you wimp.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Tom groaned, promptly pulling ten pounds out of his wallet and handing it to Haz.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland oneshot #tom holland fanfic #tom holland smut #harrison osterfeild fluff #harrison osterfield #platonic!harrison osterfield

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writingsfromhome · 3 years

Text

Chapters II

A/N: Sooo I know the wait’s been really long. I was sorta living in London in Oct, life got hectic, and just got back home and back to this story. What has everyone been up to in October? Any Harry costumes for Halloween?? ;) Part 2 is mostly some world building on Harry’s end, and finally pushing the story forward. I’m working on the third part, no promises, but hoping I can finish it...soon? It’s nice to be writing again. xx

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

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I’m a bit dazed when she leaves. I never thought I would see her again, or if I did she would ever talk to me let alone come over to my flat with her son. Her son. It’s hard to swallow, literally--my throat was drier than the Sahara.

I pour myself a glass of water. Y/N, here. In my flat. Making us dinner. She had a son with some other man, the son that I had dreamed of having with her one day.

My mind doesn’t care about the emotional distress I’m in, it plays old memories on a loop. The night everything ended.

I’m ashamed to admit that it took me two whole months to realize what I lost, realize what an arse I’d become. And by then she was unreachable, I tried to reach out to her sisters, her brother, but if they hadn’t already blocked they ignored me.

Five Years Ago

“I like this one,” Finn says after I have him listen to the chorus on a single we were planning on releasing in the summer. “It’s funky.”

“Yeah,” I take the headset from him. I would have been stoked that he liked it without his usual criticism, but I was feeling pretty low the last few weeks. I just wasn’t feeling the same passion for my music. It didn’t help that I was crashing with Niall until I found my own place and he lived with his very loud girlfriend. “It needs some work.”

“Alright mate,” Finn wheels me around to face him. “Where’s my spunky rockstar gone? What’s this zombie you’ve been the last few weeks?”

“I dunno,” I shrug. “I’m just feeling a bit...uninspired.”

“Well you’ve gotta find that inspiration Harry,” Finn says, already turning away to respond to the text he got. “This single should have been finished yesterday, and we’re releasing it in four months. We need this in the bag.”

“I know,” I blow the air out of my cheeks slowly, like I did with the cigarettes I used to smoke. Now felt like a good time to pick one up again, but it reminds me of the pact Y/N and I made around graduation, to quit together….not like she was around to hold me accountable, I think darkly. “I think the breakup with Y/N and moving out and now I’m sleeping on a couch...it’s sucha shitshow.”

“It’s a setback but it’s not the end of the world,” Finn says absentmindedly. “Plus Y/N was never good for you, that woman was a drag. She was always scowling when I saw her. And you said she was always nagging, it’s a good thing you’ve gone your own way.”

“Yeah but-” I almost defend her but I remember the last few months we were together. She had gotten so negative, she was so unfair. “I’m just finding my feet again.”

“Well find them quickly.” Finn reminds me again. “Use the breakup as material for your album. Rage through it, put in all the shite you want to say to her face! You have to start somewhere and breakups are perfect starting point yeah?.”

It was a good idea, but making an album when I could hardly concentrate on this single was just depressing. I tell him I was calling it quits for the day, I promised to be back first thing tomorrow to complete it. He finally glances up from his phone to look at me, sighing but agreeing and before he can change his mind I’m out on the streets and on the tube back home. Well, Niall’s home.

The flat smells amazing when I walk in, I look for Niall but the shower’s on and I find his girlfriend in the kitchen instead. Great, I sigh, she was kind of a bitch to be around alone.

“Oh, Harry you’re home early.” she comments as I drop down on the couch which was also my bed. It was pathetic, but it helped when my cash outflows were more than in inflows. Sure I was looking for a new place to live but until Niall kicks me out I was glad I didn’t have to pay for a roof over my head.

“Yeah, not really a productive day.” I say. “That smells really good.”

“Oh,” she turns back to her food. “I was making dinner for our date night. Niall’s favourite.”

“I’ll get out of your hair tonight,” I say. She always did this, hinted at wanting me to leave when she could just tell me--I hated it.

“If you don’t mind?” She glances at me. She couldn’t even look me in the eye. “It’s just Niall and I haven’t had a proper dinner together in a while so it would be nice.”

“Right,” message received loud and clear. “If I’ve overstayed my welcome you can just say.”

“I’m not-” she places the knife she’s holding down. “That’s not what I said Harry. I’m thanking you for giving us the night...?”

“I hear the passive comments, you can just tell me to my face.” I can tell I’m bordering on aggressive but I don’t know how to back down. She was always judging me just like Y/N would.

“I’m literally not--Niall,” Niall had chosen then to walk in. “Tell Harry I don’t mind he’s here, he’s your best friend I just asked if we could have the evening for date night-”

“I’m pretty sure your girlfriend doesn’t want me around,” I pick my jacket up from the couch. I was going to leave. “She can just say that.”

“What did you say?” Niall asks his girlfriend and her jaw drops.

“I didn’t say anything! I just told you-”

“I’m leaving, enjoy your night.” I brush past Niall but he stops me.

“Where are you going? Just wait a minute. Let’s just talk this out we can-”

“I’m leaving,” I push Niall’s hand off and walk out. I didn’t know where I was going but I had to leave. Niall and his girlfriend could enjoy their perfect little flat with their perfect dinner date. I could find another place to crash.

“Finn?” I call the only other person who would let me crash for the night. “I got into some shite with my roommate, could I crash at yours for tonight I know your-“

“Oh Harry no,” Finn cuts me off. I’m thrown off by his answer, I stop halfway down the stairwell. “I can’t let you stay with me that-that’s not possible right now.”

“I’ve got nowhere to sleep.” I reason, I can hear how whiny I sound. “You won’t even know I’m there, I sleep on the couch anyway-“

“I’m sorry Harry I wish I could help but--look I’ve got to go we’ll talk in the morning.”

The phone goes dead and I stare at it in shock. What was I going to do? I was homeless.

I hit the streets and walk into the first pub, order the cheapest beer and log into my banking. I look through cheap hotels nearby, but the closest one I could afford was more than an hour by train. So I finish every last drop of the beer and begin my trek to the hotel. Niall calls me but I send him to voicemail, I didn’t want to talk to him. His girlfriend probably brainwashed him into thinking I was some sort of monster.

When I get to the hotel, it’s half decent but it’s loud as fuck and there’s some sort of bar on the main floor whose music carries up to the fourth floor where I find my room. I look at the tight space, at least it was clean.

I throw my jacket to the chair and dive straight into the bed. Fuck everyone, couldn’t they see that I was going through a hard time? Couldn’t anyone give me a bloody break?

I find a random channel and put it on for background noise while I take a lukewarm shower (the water never quite made it to hot), and consider my food options. I think about the dinner Niall’s girlfriend had made, I used to have that, I think. A girlfriend who made me dinner and a soft bed to sleep in. Everything changed so fast.

Suddenly my phone rings. Niall again. I let it go to voicemail. But a few minutes later there’s a knock on the door, Niall’s distorted face looks back at me from the peephole.

“How the fuck did you find me?” I ask when I open the door but Niall barges in, shouldering me out of the way.

“Why the fuck aren’t you picking up my calls? I was worried about you! You just disappeared!” I could tell Niall was furious; he rarely shouted like this and when he did his accent was always a lot thicker.

“So you stalked me?” I demand. “I already told you, you don’t need to worry about me!”

“I do!” Niall shouts. A distant part of me thinks it’s funny how loud we’re shouting, that the music downstairs is probably loud enough that nobody cares about the additional disturbance. “Of course I do! You’re my best mate, of course I care about you! You disappeared so I tracked your phone to make sure you weren’t pissed and passed out on the side of the bloody motorway!”

Niall continues shouting at me and t I let him go on about what an arse I was being and how much I changed. It’s only when he brings up Y/N, sympathetic that I was struggling without her that I stop him. I tell him I didn’t need her, she never cared about me or wanted me to succeed!

“Y/N doesn’t want you to succeed? Y/N?” Niall breaths heavily as he looks at me like I was crazy. “Are we talking about the same Y/N we both know? From our uni days?”

“Yeah! Don’t be thick, she was always so fucking negative! She told me she supported me and then she would just nag at me all day long.”

“You’re a-oh my god Harry, you’re an idiot,” Niall sits down on the bed, shaking his head. “Have you got your head so far up your arse you don’t realize that woman was bending over backwards so you could have your dreams? And you were treating her like-like a fucking used tissue.”

“You don’t know what it was like at home,” I say bitterly.

“No, I do!” Niall stops me.

“So she was complaining about me to you too?” I demand.

He confesses, Y/N’s sister and him went out on a few dates behind her back. She went in on him one night, complaining about how much of an ungrateful dick I was being to her sister. “Harry, Y/N was working long hours to provide for you, she was just asking you to see what she was doing. And before you say anything, don’t act so innocent, I was there on New Year’s, you were ignoring her and kissing up to your label. You put her through hell, and I watched her watch you. She never made a scene, she just made sure everyone was having a good time. You let her go Harry, I love you but you’re a fucking idiot for treating her so poorly and then leaving her like that.”

“I...” I think about what Finn was saying to me for months. What he told me today, he was the only one who understood when I complained about Y/N. “She was always so negative though, always nagging at me-”

“What was she saying?” Niall asks, his volume slightly settled, like he was almost out of steam. And I think about what she was saying: to think twice before buying something expensive, to have some dinner ready when she came home late, to take the clothes out of the dryer when I forgot, to call my mum on her birthday when I forgot. None of it was about my work, or her work.

I look to Niall, my best friend who traveled half of London just to make sure I was okay. And I think about Finn who turned me away when I needed him tonight. Who was talking shite about Y/N long before we began having issues. I can’t believe it, Niall was right, “I’m a fucking idiot.”

Niall sighs, probably relieved we didn’t have to fight anymore. I sit down on the bed beside him and lay on my back. I lost her, I just let her go. How could I have let her go when all she was doing was trying to support me the best she could? Even when I was being a dick.

“I have to call her,” I say suddenly. “I have to apologize I-”

“She won’t answer,” Niall puts my frenzied plan of action to rest. “She moved, I tried to visit her last month but there was some Polish family living there. And she won’t answer any of my calls. She’s left me behind too. Even her sister will barely talk to me.”

“I have to try,” I take my phone out and dial her number, I knew it by heart since uni. It goes to a generic voicemail. I try again, and again, while Niall watches. Finally he gets up and nudges the bag on the table. I only just notice he’d brought it in with him.

“Just get some rest Harry, I’d tell you to come home with me but my girlfriend’s pretty pissed at me and I’m probably sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry about that.” I think about his girlfriend, what I did. I’d have to apologize to her too, she wasn’t kicking me out. “I’ll come by tomorrow and apologize.”

“I appreciate that,” he nods. “She packed some food for you anyway, said you might need it. She gets it, bad breakup.”

“Isn’t that your date night dinner,” I ask when I open it and the smell hits me.

“Not anymore--and don’t say sorry to me. Save it for her, just...take care of yourself. I’ll see you later.”

I give him a hug and see him off. I wolf the dinner down and begin calling Y/N again, then her sister, her brother, her other sister...but nobody answers. I contemplate trying her mum but even I knew that might be crossing the line. They probably hated me.

I cry myself to sleep and when I wake up again it’s 7am. The silence is deafening compared to the noisy atmosphere I fell asleep to. I feel it then; I feel alone, dreadfully alone. I reach out beside me but there’s nobody there, of course. Y/N was gone, I let her slip through my fingers and I didn’t want to believe it but I don’t think I was ever getting her back. Not after what I’d done.

I think about us, especially the end. We weren’t who we used to be, and I think I was the reason for that. We were just two ghosts existing together, remembering how it felt to have a heartbeat.

I fall back asleep, the thought of her on my mind as I do.

***

A knock at my door jostles me out of bed. I’m barely awake when a cart wheels into my room followed by a short man. He freezes when he notices me in bed, glancing back to the door to check the room number.

I glance at the time, it was 11:30, past checkout.

“I’m sorry,” I croak out before he could kick me out. “Could I just get a few minutes to get my things? I lost track of time.”

He eyes me, finally giving a quick nod and stepping out. When I get to the bathroom to brush my teeth I get a good look at how awful I looked: my eyes are bloodshot and puffy, I looked a mess. This was the I-cried-myself-to-sleep-twice look.

I brush quickly but my realizations from last night continue to badger me like a bad migraine. My stomach churns with regret and guilt and anger, and it’s quickly followed by a sadness so deep I don’t think I could ever recover from it. I couldn’t stay sober, I realize, so I walk into the nearest pub and order a pint. And then another. By my third, I’m drunk and it was barely noon. I have a dozen missed calls from Finn, I knew he’d be furious but I figure he was already angry so I ignore him.

I think I spend the rest of the day in pubs. I lose count of how many drinks I’ve had. Around 5 the bartender forces a number out of me and Niall shows up to take me home. I only slightly register that his girlfriend isn’t around, he tells me where she is but I don’t remember. I black out.

***

I don’t know how the next month passes. Or, actually, I don’t know how I manage to live through the next month. The days pass by and I go to the studio, I listen to Finn faff about and I come home and go straight to bed. I remember apologizing to Niall’s girlfriend, and Niall continues to get me to eat, but I mostly call Y/N’s phone. I go to our old flat twice and the third time the Polish man living there threatens me. I probably looked scary with my nest of hair and the beard that was growing in.

Finn grows impatient when I only come up with slow melodies. He wants me back on an upbeat song to introduce me to the world. I try to write things, but it’s only when I’m going through old shitty photos on my computer from when we used point-and-shoots in uni that I uncover a load of pictures of Y/N and me. She looks so youthful, so do I. She has her classic strawberry red lips and a daring look in her eyes. I look in love any picture where we’re caught in the background. I ache, how did I get so far away from him. My heart constricts, and then I’m locking myself in the bathroom, sitting in the bathtub with a beer and going through each picture. I hear myself laugh and cry, Niall knocks on the door at one point but I tell him I was fine. I can’t get enough of this nostalgia that threatens to choke me, but I wanted the punishment of this loss, I needed to see the way we used to be.

The one picture I land on, she’s blowing out cigarette smoke with her eyebrows raised. She’s looking at the person behind the lens, at me, with a glint of some inside joke. I recognize a few familiar faces in the background staring at us-at her. I touch the screen, I love her so much. I remember this night, she was stressed about graduation and nearly smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. Then the words comes to me: She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes/ hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect.

I rush out of the room and into the living room for my notebook. I write the lyrics down as they come, as the memories of uni and our wild days rush through me. All the trips we took, the late nights and early mornings, the booze and the sex, and the feeling of euphoric youth. I put all my crazy love into it. And when I’m done I have a good set, the chorus still isn’t quite right but I had something to show to Finn. This was going to be it, I felt it.

***

“Live drums and guitar?” Finn pursues his lips. “I thought we were sticking to a drum machine?”

“It needs live drums,” I try to convince him. “Think about this, it’s got big energy it needs the real thing.”

“I don’t know if this new energy is coming from this new woman you’re singing about, drugs, or a lot of coffee but I’m not complaining,” Finn chuckles. “And don’t tell me if it is drugs, the less I know the better. I’ll see what I can do. But that chorus--”

“I know,” I agree. “It’s not big enough for the song.”

“This woman you’re singing about it a wild thing, but then the chorus is about love it’s just not fitting. This woman...you meet her at the pubs you’ve been drinking at lately?”

“I met her drinking, yeah,” I tell him a white lie, avoiding any details about Y/N. It was becoming more clear to me that Finn just didn’t want Y/N and I to work out. I don’t know why but I don’t think I was telling him anything about her anymore.

“Okay, work on these lyrics I’m calling Ty and a couple other guys in to go over this too. I’ll get back about the drums later.”

By the time I’m heading home on the tube I have a yes for drums and I’m pumped. A teen on the platform even recognizes me and asks for a photo which takes my day from brilliant to blinding. I was on cloud 9.

I offer to help with dinner that night, Niall’s girlfriend and I had found a friendly medium and we settle for dinner around the small table. She talks about some friend she knows, “her boyfriend was trash though. Like, I told her when they were dating, but after they broke up and she realized it herself I wasn’t going to rub it in her face right? But she told me she literally told him about the baby when she broke up with him on the phone can you believe that? She literally said, “We’ve over and before you hear it from anyone else I’m having your baby but get this straight, it’s none of your business!”

“She said that?” Niall sits back in shock.

“That’s a really good line,” I comment absentmindedly and when they look at me blankly I explain. “For a song, like it’s a good line. I can imagine it...loud, guitar, backup vocals like I’m having your baby! It’s none of your business.”

“That would sound good in the one you’re workin on now.” Niall encourages.

“Yeah wait, s’cuse me.” I find my notebook and cross out the chorus to include that. By the time I’m done they’ve finished dinner and Niall’s left dessert on the coffee table. He understood the Zone, he wrote a lot more when we were in a band in secondary school. The memory prompts me to call him, I play him the new version of the song and ask for his opinion. He brings out one of my guitars I’d been storing in his closet and opens it and we have a session right there in his living room. By the time I’m done, I know I’m done and I convince him to join me tomorrow in the studio. I needed his help.

“This is about Y/N isn’t it?” Niall asks when we’re finishing up.

“It was,” I admit. “It had the essence of her, like the old her before I fucked us up. But now it’s a bit more than that.”

“It’s gonna be a hit,” Niall says. “Remember me when this gets big.”

“Mate, you’ll be right beside me on stage.”

***

But a few weeks later, after finishing the song and taking a break visiting my mum Finn gives me the bad news. My single was being pushed back further. He tells me, “They think it’s going to do smashingly but we’ve got two big artists coming out with albums. They think it’s going to get lost in the noise.”

I close my eyes. Deep breaths Harry, I remind myself. They loved it, it was just a set back.

But how many setbacks, another part of me asks. It was setback after fucking setbacks. All these setbacks turned me into someone I couldn’t recognize. I lost the love of my life because of these setbacks. I feel the temper flare up.

“Finn, what’s your role in all this?” I ask.

“In what? I pushed it Harry, trust me they-”

“You say that but it’s been over a year of setbacks.” I had enough. “I hired you because I thought you could help me navigate this shit show of an industry but you’re just dragging me through the shite. I’m getting nothing from you.”

“I’m working hard behind the scenes Harry,” he looks pissed, but worried for once, and I realize how much power I’ve given this man. “If I had a dollar every time I had fight for you I could fund your album myself.”

I snort, “Cut the bullshit. If I had a dollar for every song I’ve completed while I wait around for you to get me release dates I’d have enough to pay rent. I don’t feel like working in the studio today, and next time you’ve got a meeting with the suits I’m coming along.”

Finn opens his mouth and gapes like a fish. I leave him like that, feeling better than I had in a long time. Who knew all it took was realizing you let the girl you loved get away, and to go back to your roots.

And now I stand here in my apartment that my EP paid for. All my fans paid for. It was hard to wrap my head around it when I thought about it. Five years ago the release of my single might have been pushed, but at the next meeting I attended and fought for myself. I had to wait another year but I got a summer release date the year after, and it was a slow build but I get to release an album a couple years later.

Somehow, it worked in my favour. Releasing my best singles piqued enough people’s interest that by the time I announced my album the preorders paid the cost of the album itself. That was the same year my contract with Finn had to be renewed.I didn’t renew it. I signed at the managing company Niall was working at and my professional life has gotten a lot easier since.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Niall interrupts my journey into the past.

“I didn’t just dream that?” I joke.

“It happened,” Niall lays on the sofa. “Can you believe that? She’s got a kid!”

“I...I can’t.” I choke out. “How has so much life just...gone by without her?”

Niall looks to me. “I’ve missed her too.”

We sit in silence, lost in our own memories. I think of the album sitting half done on my laptop, most of those songs were about her. They were too sad to make my first album, they wanted me to include a lot of my earlier songs I made. This album was a lot of her. I wish I could sit her down and have her listen to it, it was my heart beating saying her name in a melody and I wanted her to know it.

“I should go,” Niall gets up quickly. “Did you ask for her number or anything? What did you talk about when I left you alone?”

“She didn’t want to,” give her number or talk. “I don’t blame her, she’s got her son. Is his dad in the picture?”

“No. Just her and Julien.”

“Julien,” I say his name. I remember when we were together, she’d said she loved the name whenever we talked about the kids we would have together. The ones who were never going to see life anymore. “He’s a smart kid.”

“He’s cute right? He was picking up all your instruments, you should tell her you’ll give him free lessons. There you go,” Niall chuckled. “I’ve got your way back to her.”

“You’re such a romanticist,” I tease him.

“No, I’m not the broody musician,” Niall walks up to the door. “Alright then, I’ll talk to you Thursday,” He had out-of-town talent he was scouting so I wouldn’t be seeing him.

After he leaves, I indulge in some more memories of life during a simpler time. I think about Y/N with whatever bastard got to call Julien his son. I think about her with this imaginary man, he was probably a handsome devil, dark haired. Did she call him the names she called me, I wonder. Did he see Julien on the weekends? Did she regret being with him, or did they catch up with a smile and touch on the arm when he picked his son up? I wanted to know. I needed to know. What sort of life had she been living without me?

I used to look her up all the time before, especially the first couple years we broke up. I would check her social media but she had made herself private, or deleted them. I stopped when I got into my first serious relationship after her, I had to force myself to stop and I only did it when I got really drunk. The last time I did it, I actually got her work profile. When I do it today, I also get her company information--I grin at my phone when an idea takes shape. Her company threw events, and I had a birthday coming up...

***

Monday morning I walk into Y/N’s building, her offices are on the ninth floor so I take the elevator up. The receptionist must recognize me because she does the thing where she stares a moment too long. I ask to see Y/N and I get told I had to have a meeting, she was apparently busy.

“It’s a casual thing,” I start to sweat, what if my plan didn’t work and I got turned away? “I ran into her and her son--Julien. She said she could make some time.”

Her face softens at the mention of Y/N’s son and I know I have her. “Mmm I could put you in at quarter past 10? Nothing earlier than that.”

I could wait for 10 hours if I had to, I think. Instead I thank her and take a seat. I open a random magazine and flip through until I see a picture of my face. Apparently I was depressed and heartbroken. I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous that was. The media decided to go with the angle of heartbreaker when I started releasing my music. They caught a few shots of me with different women within a few weeks and that sold it. Truth was I mostly had meaningless flings since Y/N, and if you could call an 8 month relationship serious, that was the longest I’d held out. When I was finishing an album with songs that rehashed the biggest heartbreak of my life, it was hard to get into the mood of settling with a single person. The heartache I felt every time I rehashed my past was made better by fun but meaningless sex.

Before I could do the torture of reading through the article, the receptionist squeaks my name and asks me to follow her. She leads me to a small board room where Y/N sits at the head, and I notice the shock on Y/N’s face that she forces into neutrality.

“Harry...” she eyes the receptionist who lingers. “I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

I glance at the receptionist, I was about to be caught in the lie. But when she notices me looking she ducks out and closes the door behind her.

“So, what brings you to my place of work?” she asks, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, I know this is your job and I promise I’m here in a professional capacity.”

“Okay...” Y/N says and I can’t believe I forgot this minor detail about her. Every time she didn’t believe me, she would stretch her words out: oookaaaay...

“I would like to hire your services for a birthday party I was planning.”

“For...yourself?”

“My birthday.”

“Unless something’s changed, your birthday’s in February.”

A nervous thrill runs up my spine, she remembered. “It is in February.”

“It’s November?”

“Never too early,” I shrug.

“You do know we throw corporate or industry events not...birthday parties?”

“No this is a big one.” Y/N still wasn’t warming up to me and I try to settle my nervous tics. It seems like the initial shock of bumping into me had worn off, and she was frosty like I expected her to be yesterday. Or maybe she was just softer around her son. “I’m inviting a lot of corporate people. I want it on a larger scale--a bigger venue.”

“And you decided to come here?” She says, and she does it again, you decided to come heeeere?

“Well I’ve been talking about this with my manager, and when I saw you yesterday I remembered this is your line of work! So, why not support your company than your competitor!” At this point I was saying anything to convince her I hadn’t stalked her last night and was trying to weasel my way back into her life.

“Just...cut the bullshit Harry. What are you doing here?”

“I’m serious,” I decide to walk closer and then decide why the fuck not. I pull out the chair beside her and sit. She crosses her legs but stays put.

I had no pre-approval for the party and was absolutely going to get in some shite but I add to the lie to convince her. “It’s part birthday celebration and part listening party. I’m releasing an album next year and I wanted some people to hear a couple of the songs and give their feedback so...”

“I thought listening parties were small intimate things?”

“I-”she was good, but I roll with it. “Go big or go home, yeah?”

“Right now,” she pulls a face. “I’d choose going home.”

I sigh, she was a tough cookie to break. “I just need you. Uh, you like your services. Professional services.” Way to make this weird Harry.

But my fumbling awkwardness brings a smile to her face, albeit a small smile that quickly fades, but I call it a win.

“You’re so odd,” she comments finally before pulling her laptop closer to her. “Okay, your birthday’s first of February and luckily aside from Valentine’s it’s not a big celebration month. How many people are you thinking? I can go through some popular venues right now.”

She was going straight to business and I’m unprepared. This made-up party was going to be very real, but I needed to find a way to make this personal too. I wanted to know how she was doing.

“Medium-ish? What do you think? You probably go to a lot of events right?”

“50-100?”

“Uh yeah,” she was determined to keep this professional. But I could be just as dogged. “Do you plan this out? Do you have a team?”

“I have a team,” she finally confirms. “But I would be leading it so don’t worry.”

“Oh I’m--I know you’re very organized and thorough. I trust you.”

There’s a beat of silence before she moves on quickly. “Any theme?”

“Surprise me,” I had no fucking clue.

“No,” she stops typing. “I hate when clients say that! I don’t know how to surprise you just...tell me what you want!”

I laugh. “Alright well maybe a bit of 70s inspiration? But classy.”

“I can see that,” she nods thoughtfully. “Disco ball and retro dance floor. Maybe you’ll grow out a mustache.”

“If I remember correctly you liked that mustache.”

She laughs, “I...” she trails away, realizing what we were talking about. I’d pushed it too far. “I’ll note down the theme.”

We sit in silence for a little bit while she types away, I break it by asking: “So I feel like we didn’t really get to talk yesterday. How have you been?”

She studies me before answering carefully, “Bumping into you and Niall yesterday was an unexpected surprise--it was nice seeing you two are doing good but...that doesn’t erase everything that’s happened between us.”

“I-no I’m not saying it does. I just want to know how you’re doing...you look like you’re doing really well.”

“I am,” she confirms, laying down her boundaries. “And I’d like it to stay that way, I don’t want any...complications.”

I stumble when she implies I’m the complication but I slide back into game mode and put a polite smile on my face. “I didn’t really get to say it yesterday but I...I’m really sorry about everything. I can say a lot of-”

I stop when she pushes away from me, like she needed the physical distance. “Why are you doing this right now?”

“Call me an arrogant son of a bitch,” I shrug. “But I just need to talk to you. Apologize, I just want to know you’re happy.”

Her eyes tear up and she looks away, twisting a ring on her finger. I watch as she tries to take a deep breath but it comes out shaky. “You know what, I am. I’m happy with the life I made. And I have a son now, I can’t do...” she gestures between us. “This. I don’t want to have these conversations. I’ve moved on.”

“You’ve...” it feels like I’d swallowed a cotton round. I was being selfish, I knew I was but I was desperate not to let her slip through my fingers again.

“I mean,” she continues like I hadn’t spoken. “You made it pretty clear what I was to you the last time we discussed us. You made it clear how you felt about me. And if you’re looking for closure, please don’t rope me into any plans you’ve made. I’ve already found it.”

Her hands shake but not as bad as the tremble in my body, from the anger at myself and the hurt I pushed down every day to survive. “I didn’t mean half of it,” I try to say gently. “I wasn’t in a good place.”

“Neither was I,” Y/N snaps, standing up. “But I didn’t stand in front of you and make you feel small and unloved. Now, like I said I don’t need this. If you want to set a meeting just ask Raina up front, I have to go.”

And just like that, I let her go. Again.

----------------------------------------------/-------------------------------

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hanjizung · 3 years

Text

♡ What Love Is ♡

Han Jisung x Reader.

Word count: 10K

♡ Warnings ♡: Smut; non idol AU, DILF!Jisung, older Jisung, OC (kid), possession kink, marking kink, oral (f), overstimulation, begging, masturbation, shower sex, exhibitionism, fingering, creampie, aftercare.

A/N: Finally the second part to Modern Vintage is here. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and please let me know what you think of it! ♡

Summer coming closer could mean many things; families spent more time together since children weren’t going to school anymore, couples had more dates and groups of friends went to eat from time to time to catch up. Overall, most places were fuller during summer, especially beaches since the sun was incredibly hot. You knew some people loved to go out in summer, maybe to travel or to visit some relatives.

Even knowing how summer as a customer was, working in the coffee shop during the season was another experience, some days it was too empty, then on the weekends too full and some days you didn’t even have enough time to eat. Adding to the stress of working during this season, but luckily, summer was just about to end and since you decided to take summer classes to fasten your graduation and get your degree sooner, you were almost completely over which meant that you would be able find a better place to work and help Jisung pay the bills.

A smile appeared on your face when you thought of him. The two of you had been together for almost a little over a year now; he stopped working in the coffee shop with you after his best friends from college offered him an opportunity to work with them as a producer in their company, that had been a month after the weekend the two of you spent without Jisu, both of them showed up at his night job, (which you learned, he worked at a nightclub as a DJ and he was really awesome at it) asking him to take a moment and go with them for a talk. The next morning you found him drinking coffee in the kitchen, still thinking of accepting or declining, smiling and kissing you when you encouraged him to take the offer.

Since then, he told Minho and Felix about it, and they congratulated him and told him that he would still get the employee discounts whenever he stopped by to visit them (and you, of course.) The Lee brothers, more than being your bosses, they treated the two of you like good friends and worried about you like they were family. You still remember Felix’s face when he saw you kissing Jisung goodbye while Jisu hugged her dad tightly, a grin on Felix’s lips that made him look like a mischievous cat.

“Didn’t I tell you it would be only a matter of time?” he said, startling both Jisung and you, making you turn to look at him laughing, a slight blush coloring your cheeks.

“Felix, you knew we would end up together since he brought Jisu here” you objected, rolling your eyes playfully. “What kind of witchcraft did you do, hmm? Tell me your secret!” you joked, getting closer to him and hugging him lovingly. He hugged you back and patted your hair as if you were Jisu.

“I have eyes, Y/N. I could see the both of you drooling for each other when you worked the same hours” he explained, his brows raised as he turned from you to Jisung, who just like you had his face painted with a blush.

“Oh” Jisung said, scratching the back of his head with his free arm and laughing awkwardly. “I mean, you’re not wrong, Lix. I liked Y/N since the very first time I saw her mess up a drink” your boyfriend said, winking at you.

“Are you saying that messing drinks is the way to get to your heart, Sungie?” you asked, acting as serious as you could, “because if that’s the case, I won’t let you be in the kitchen when I’m teaching Jeongin how to do the difficult ones” you finished, making both of the men in front of you laugh.

“Ah, he doesn’t mess up as much though, I admit Jisung used to be messier than him. Jeongin’s a good boy, he learns quickly like you, Y/N. I’m glad that we hired him, I feel like the place is fuller since he’s been here” Felix said, crossing his arms over his chest and caressing his invisible beard as he looked at Jeongin who was writing down an order.

He noticed the four pairs of eyes on him and waved to where you were awkwardly. Minho had announced not too long ago that since the coffee shop had been doing better than before now you were short staffed, and since he was planning on giving you a little vacation he made the decision of hiring someone else to help, and that's how you ended up meeting sweet Jeongin, whose cute face contributed to more daily customers as well as Felix's delicious baked desserts.

Since you were the last person hired, it was your job to teach him everything you knew. He had been there for just three weeks now, and he was a little shy just like you were when you first started working there, but as days passed he joined the talented chefs that you had for bosses and started teasing you and Jisung every now and then.

The coffee shop never closed, it was open all the seven days of the week, but when Jisung was offered a new spot with his good friends, you decided to throw a party to celebrate, inviting the Lee's and Jeongin, and of course, Jisu's uncles; Chan and Changbin. You also took the opportunity to invite your ex roommate, who happened to visit you at work and the one who you would constantly text when something interesting happened. Jisung said that since the party would be the first time you'd be meeting his best friends, and since he already knew your roommate that you should invite your best friend from college, so after calling him and asking him if he was free he accepted.

The big important day came, and Jisung dressed with his nicest clothes, putting on that one cologne he knew you loved so much. The party would happen at your department, so when he was ready he announced that he would be rushing to get the missing food before all your guests appeared, leaving you and Jisu to finish getting ready.

You helped her get ready first, dressing her with a beautiful navy blue dress that she adored since the moment she saw it, then you did her hair and told her to draw something to everyone coming to the party while you got ready as well.

When you walked out of the room fully dressed, Jisung and Jeongin's back were turned at you. They were talking on the couch, a movie was playing on the turned on television as they talked without paying any attention to the screen, but the conversation soon died when your boyfriend stood up after hearing footsteps behind him. He stared at you, his mouth hanging and a quiet wow leaving his lips as he moved quickly to embrace you and kiss you, ready to whisper how beautiful you looked and how lucky he was to have you.

"Woah, you look so pretty! You look like a queen, queen Y/N!" Jisu exclaimed, joining her dad and running to hug your legs. Jeongin saw the whole scene, chuckling.

"You look amazing, Y/N. Honestly, if you and Jisung weren't together I would be inviting you for a drink as soon as I saw you" he joked, raising one of his eyebrows making you laugh.

"Guess that's too bad for you then, Jeonginnie, she's all mine" Jisung said, pressing a kiss on your cheek and then leaving your side to sit on the couch again.

Jisu left you to go sit on her dad's lap, and when you were just to sit on the other couch your phone rang, your best friend's photo showing on the screen as you smiled apologetic at the two men in front of you and you walked away to answer.

"Hi, Y/N. I'm in the building, what floor is it?" his voice greeted you. He was always like this, going straight to the point.

"The fifth floor, the door number is 190" you told him, hearing through the line how he walked into the elevator and pressed the buttons. "See you soon" you told each other before hanging up.

You were excited to see him, it wasn't everyday that the two of you got to be at a nice event or even to a party like this, he wasn't a party guy much, and you always went out with your beloved roommate, Chunghee.

You walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and when you were coming back to the living room you heard knocking on the door. Smiling and placing your glass down, you walked excitedly to it and opened with a big smile on your lips, already knowing who it was.

"Seungmin!" you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him carefully and hugging him tightly. He responded to the hug politely, patting your back two times and then separating his arms from you, a little shy since it was the first time he was in the presence of your boyfriend. You moved away from him to let him step inside, taking his hand in yours and closing the door behind you.

"Jisung, Jisu, Jeongin, I present to you my best friend! Seungmin, you already met Jeongin, and this…" you left Seungmin's side to stand behind Jisung who still had Jisu in his lap, they looked at your friend with the same eyes full of curiosity "... Is my family" you finished, smiling at him, your head tilted to the side as you locked eyes with Jisung for a brief moment before returning your eyes to your best friend.

"It's nice to meet you in person and not just thought pictures" Seungmin greeted, a timid smile on his lips that gained a chuckle from Jisung who responded that it was nice to see him as well, and so you proceeded to sit with Seungmin by your side and start a small conversation with him.

The room fell silent for a few seconds, the TV working as background noise only until a knock on your door and voices sounding from behind it let you know that Felix and Minho had finally arrived. Jisu opened the door, rushing to get there first and throw herself at the first pair of legs that would be in front of her, making Minho laugh as he struggled to hold a box of something in his hands without it falling. Felix rushed to help his brother by freeing him from the kid's grip, taking Jisu in his arms and squishing her playfully.

"Hey, welcome!" Jisung greeted, standing up from the couch along with Jeongin to help the two men with the things they were carrying; a cake and something that looked like it was probably ice cream. One of Felix's new experiments, possibly, but you figured that if he had brought it on that special day, it would be an advanced approved recipe.

"We're so happy to be here, I can't wait to meet Jisung's new bosses. Are they here yet? Are they more handsome than us? Y/N?" Felix asked, lifting Jisu in the air dramatically, making her giggle and turning to you when he was saying the last part, his accusative eyes scanning you.

"They haven't arrived yet, we'll meet them at the same time, Lix" you laughed, standing up yourself and hugging Minho first, then him. He smiled at you, and then noticed Seungmin who was still sitting where you were, his extroverted self wasted no time and he made his way there, dragging you along with him.

"Hello, we haven't been introduced yet, I think? If you've heard nice things about a Lee Felix then that's me, but if all you've heard of him are complaints, then it's not me anymore" he joked, presenting his hand to your best friend who laughed politely at his joke.

"Kim Seungmin, Y/N's friend" he shook Felix's hand and then patted Jisu’s head since she was still in Felix’s arms, offering both of them shy smile along with it. It was so heartwarming to have all your friends and family interacting with each other.

A phone going off distracted you and everyone in the room turned to meet the owner who simply smiled shyly, turning his back and answering. You could hear Jisung’s voice through the introductions of the people who were currently in your house. You watched all of them with a fond smile, but the sudden sensation of an arm wrapping around your waist scared you a little bit, making you turn your face to find your beloved boyfriend who placed a kiss on your cheek, whispering to you that he would be leaving shortly to get his friends.

You nodded and sat next to Minho on the couch, he was on his phone until he noticed you, straightening his back and smiling briefly at you. He asked how you were doing and how you were feeling about Jisung’s new path, you said that you felt happy for him and that your current concern was that you wanted to graduate to help; your conversation with him finished rather quickly, as the door opened and two strange men walked in through the door, the subject of your conversation with Minho staying behind them and closing the door.

“Everyone, they are my friends and now coworkers, Chan and Changbin,” Jisung announced, taking advantage of the silence that reigned on your little home to present his best friends, a intimidating looking man almost his height with a deadly gaze and a slightly taller one, blond guy who was smiling openly and showing his dimples.

Jisung stepped forward, a big smile on his face as his hand took yours and pulled you in front of his friends. You weren’t sure why, but your face started feeling a bit hot and you were a little afraid that if you tried to speak, you would stutter instead of speaking properly. To you it almost felt like you were meeting his parents, your nerves getting the best of you.

“Guys this is Y/N, you already know her a little from what I’ve told you” he laughed, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, his cheeks also a rosy color just like yours were.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” the blond one said, offering you his hand for you to take. You did, extending your shaky hand to him and shaking it, then doing the same with Changbin.

Your ray of sunshine boyfriend must’ve felt the awkwardness you were irradiating, since he wasted no time in coming to your rescue and started presenting everyone else to them, except Jisu who left Felix to hug Changbin and tell him to pick her up so she could kiss his cheek. While he was busy with introductions, Seungmin approached you quietly, looking at you with a soft smile.

“You okay?” he asked, bumping your shoulder with his own. You looked at him with questioning eyes that only made him chuckle at you. “You looked like you were very nervous,” he explained.

Closing your eyes, you sighed. “I was! It felt like a meteor hit me, but instead of a space rock, it was reality” you whispered-screamed, looking at your friend with big eyes that soon turned soft when your gaze fell on them. “They seem really nice, though. I’m glad to know that Jisung wasn’t all alone before I met him, you know?”

“You really do love him, Y/N. I’m glad he makes you this happy” Seungmin smiled at you, his voice full of honesty that made you feel like you had the key to happiness in that exact moment.

The rest of the evening passed faster than you would like to admit; your little home was full with the chattering noises from your guests and chill music playing in the background. The dinner went good too, the table was full and it was like a Christmas dinner or similar, the table full and laughter being a constant proof of the nice atmosphere. Any sign of the existing awkward silence created when Chan and Changbin appeared was long gone now, and you learned a little more about them and how they met with Jisung just like they learned how the two of you ended up together, a story told with additions from almost everyone saying that they always knew how hard you were pining for each other.

Chan started telling how he happened to meet both of his friends; he explained that he met Changbin one night at a party, Chan was the dj and Changbin reached to him to ask him how he managed a cut between two song without it being so obvious (Changbin laughed, exclaiming that even if Chan taught him how to do it, he remembered how the first time he heard it he was shocked.)

Then, both of them usually hung out by the library where Chan mentored Changbin, and one day they saw Jisung with a guitar practicing and decided to ask him what he was doing. Since that day, the three of them started getting curious about song producing, and so they decided to give it a try, being that and their first demo songs the start of a beautiful blooming friendship that lead to where they are now.

When Chan mentioned their demo songs, you gave Jisung a side eye that clearly translated to him as ‘you’re gonna have to show me those songs’, a look that didn’t Changbin must’ve also caught since he said that those songs weren’t too good and that ‘it was better for everyone to not listen to them’, now making everyone want to listen to them more.

Later, Felix went to your fridge to take the ice cream he had brought and started serving it to everyone with your help. Little Jisu was over the moon because she was finally going to try one of the secret recipes of ice creams that she saw Felix perfecting at the coffee shop, and so more memories were talked upon all of you, not only about the trio of friends, but also about Seungmin and you being childhood friends, then the Lee brothers motivated by Chan’s story decided to tell how they knew they wanted to open the coffee shop. Jeongin opened up too, talking about how he had a lot of doubt joining his current career, but saying that he knew everything would eventually pay off. The evening contributed to you getting to know everyone a little more.

Almost at 10, Jisu was sleepily sitting on Changbin’s lap, you were surprised to see how much she stayed by his side and how the man didn’t seem to mind being with her, it was a little funny too because he seemed to be so tough on the outside, but really all he allowed to see in the few hours he spent in your house he was a softy, and Jisu really knew how to bring that side out of him. When you noticed the little bubbly girl was asleep, you stood up and walked to where he was, but when he realized that Jisu was comfortably dreaming, he stopped you.

“I’ll take her to her room, where is it?” he asked. You smiled at him as a thanks and guided him there, leaving the noisy living room to Jisu’s dark and silent bedroom.

You turned on the light for Changbin who was right behind you, and you watched him tuck her in the bed so carefully, like he had done it before. Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to ask him.

“Have you put her to bed before?” your voice came a little quiet, careful to not wake Jisu. Changbin hummed, looking at the sleeping angel in front of him and nodded.

“Yeah, when her mom left, Chan and I were all Jisung had, but we couldn’t help him often, and then we were called with an offer in America and we left.” You listened to him while he was staring at Jisu, your mind imagining these three men trying to take care of a baby, sweet scenarios playing in your head of them learning how to change a diaper and getting scared whenever she cried. “Let’s go back,” his voice brought you down to earth, and he waited for you to step out before turning off the light and closing the door behind him, like a gentleman.

Seeing you walking out of Jisu’s room, your boyfriend watched as you approached the living room with a smile on his face, and when you were close enough he opened his arms for you to take a seat on his lap. You happily did what he desired, kissing his cheek when he wrapped his arms around you. No one in the room was looking at you, too busy paying attention to a horror story Minho was saying from when he was in college to mind the two of you.

Jeongin was sitting by the table, a piece of cake in front of him that he was eating until he was interrupted thanks to a notification on his phone. When he grabbed it, he saw the hour and he stood up.

“I didn’t know it was this late, I should be leaving, my roommate texted me saying he’s worried” he explained, being the center of attention. On the other couch, Seungmin stretched and stood up as well.

“I can take you home if you want,” Seungmin said, looking in his pocket for his car keys while he waited for Jeongin’s answer. The younger one nodded and added that it would be nice of him to drop him by his apartment.

“Thank you guys for coming, have a good night” you told them when they waved goodbye to everyone.

“Thanks for receiving us. Congratulations on your new job, Jisung” Seungmin spoke again, shaking Jisung’s hand while Jeongin hugged you and thanked you as well.

After them, Felix yawned and Minho teased him, saying that he was just like Jisu, to which Felix laughed and said that he could be right. They made their way to the front door and said their goodbyes to the rest of you, and that resulted in just you and the producers. Jisung offered to drive them to their new shared apartment.

That’s how you found yourself in the co-pilot's seat with Chan and Changbin sitting in the back giving directions to Jisung who was driving. It reminded you of the first time you got in the car with him and took care of Jisu, then you smiled when your memory replayed all the times you sat there talking with Jisung and admiring him while he drove, he always looked for your hand or rested his on your thigh during red lights.

While Chan was giving directions to Jisung, Changbin chatted a little with you, telling you that he wasn’t too excited to go to his new house because there was a pure mess of boxes and half unpacked stuff everywhere except for their beds.

“I forgot how much I disliked moving,” Chan sighed, eyes closed as he paid close attention to the window. Changbin agreed with him.

Once you were finally there, you saw them coming out of the car. You took Jisung’s hand and with a look you told him to stay there. “We should help them, Sung,” you said. He nodded, knowing that you would be worried if you didn’t voice your kind offer to help your new friends.

“Chan, Changbin, would you like some help unpacking?” Jisung said, helping you out of the car. They were standing nearby, waiting for you two to leave and being surprised when Jisung hurried to open your door.

“Nah, it’s okay. You should go back home, though, it’s pretty late,” Changbin answered after exchanging a quick look with Chan who looked at his phone, probably to check the hour.

“We got this, don’t worry. Thanks for driving us,” Chan contributed, watching Jisung walking slowly to the driver’s seat again. “See you on Monday, Jisung, and see you later Y/N, it was very nice to meet you” he smiled.

“Alright, but make sure to call us if you need anything. See you on Monday” and with that, Jisung started the car and you left. You had no idea when on the way back you fell asleep, but the next time you opened your eyes, the car was slowing down and you could recognize the familiarity of your building’s parking.

“We’re home, baby, wake up” Jisung’s sweet voice called you. You blinked one, two times before sighing and taking off the security belt, stepping out of the car and stretching. You waited for him to do the same and walk together to your department.

“Your friends are really nice, I’m happy you’re gonna work with them. Are you excited?” you asked once in the elevator, looking at him.

“Yeah, I’m excited. It’s been so long since we made a song together or shared ideas for lyrics,” he said, smiling at you and hugging you, pressing a kiss on your face. You closed your eyes, accepting it without saying anything and just enjoying the moment. It was small moments like this when you were glad to start working at the coffee shop.

The elevator stopped at your floor, and the two of you made your way to your comfy apartment. You sighed, knowing that you would have to clean and put away everything that was on the table. When the door opened you finally took off the heels you opted to wear for the occasion, sighing in satisfaction when your feet touched the cold ground. Jisung only looked at you with a soft smile on his face, and he walked up behind you, passing one of his arms under your knees and picking you up bridal style.

“Sungie! What are you doing?” you squealed, acting quickly and holding onto him, afraid that you would fall. Your boyfriend didn’t answer you, instead he smirked at you and kept walking to your room. Once in there, he somehow managed to turn on the light before letting you gently on the bed.

Hovering above you, you were able to see the lust in his eyes before he closed them and finally kissed your lips passionately. Your hands, still on his neck, pulled him even closer to you. You sighed on the kiss, moving one of your hands to his chest and the other tangling in his hair. Jisung took this as an invitation to straddle you, supporting himself with one arm and caressing your face with the other hand.

Soon, the intensity of the kiss ended when he separated to breathe again, pressing kisses on your chin and then travelling down your throat.

“This dress looks so good on you, honey, but I prefer how you look without it. I’ve been thinking about it all day, taking it off you. I’m so lucky that I’m the only one to get to see you like this” he whispered, his voice husky, making you shiver.

It wasn’t the first time he attacked you like this; it was mostly on special occasions, and usually he asked someone to take care of Jisu, the other times you two had sex it was very late into the night and rather quickly to avoid the exposure to accidents, so him suddenly acting guided by his instincs and fucking you like it was only the two of you in the whole world was one of the last ways you imagined today would end.

“W-wait, Jisung, close the door first” you warned him, pushing him off you. He quickly nodded, making his way to the door and closing it, also locking it and then, he walked slowly towards you who was now sitting on the bed, looking at him with needy eyes.

His hands went to his belt, slowly undoing it making you bite your lip. He took it off and let it rest at the feet of the bed, now taking his shirt and starting to pull it up until he was in front of you, finally taking that piece of clothing off from his body. Your legs hung open, allowing him to stand between them as one of your hands played with the hem of his pants, you looked at him through your lashes and he placed one hand on your head, patting you dearly before it went down to cup your face and he bended to kiss you, this time more sweetly than before.

He pushed you gently so you would be on your back, he kissed the exposed skin on your neck, being careful to not leave any hickies since he knew how much you struggled to cover them when you had to go out, he was always mindful of you, unless he wanted to show off that you belonged to him, then he would mark up your neck so prettily for everyone to see.

He kneeled on the floor, his nose on your thigh sensually caressing you all the way to your right knee, his hands hiking up the skirt of your beautiful dress and then resting now on your hips, exposing your undergarment. Then, one of his hands moved to hold the back of your thigh to put your leg on his shoulder.

Since the moment he kneeled down on the floor, your mind played images of the countless times Jisung's face was hidden between your legs making you crazy, allowing you to see stars when his magical tongue brought you over the edge. It was inevitable to contain yourself, your pussy getting wet since he started pressing kisses on your legs, torturing preparing you for the orgasm he would soon bring you.

A sigh escaped your lips as you let yourself enjoy the moment, he was holding your other leg open with his hand, allowing him full entrance to your now ruined panties. You were lucky you decided to match the pretty dress with your favorite set of lingerie. He hummed in approval when he saw your wetness.

He had you whimpering lowly, you knew you had to keep quiet but as time passed and Jisung decided to admire and tease you instead of doing something to you, you were starting to grow a little impatient.

"Babe…" you cried out, looking at him with pleading eyes "I need you," but he didn't seem like he wanted to pay attention to your cries.

"You need me? Why, baby? What do you need me for?" he answered, his deep voice making you close your eyes and his words provoking a slight blush on your face.

"I'm so wet for you, please…" you said. It was an obvious answer since he could see the mess he made of you. "Want you to eat me out, please…"

His fingers passed through your needy sex, making you sigh one more time. He grunted, but instead of moving your delicate panties to the side, his face got closer and he pressed a sweet kiss on your mound. When he was done teasing you, he moved away and finally started taking off that piece of lingerie, removing your leg from his shoulder and placing it there again once he had freed you from it.

His lips came in contact with your throbbing cunt, making you groan in satisfaction when his tongue skillfully, dragging it from the center of your wetness, taking a sweet moment to taste you and then going for his objective, his arms around your legs to keep you in place for him to torture you oh so deliciously.

You cursed, eyes closed as you permitted him to pleasure you like he knew you adored, your hand pushing him towards you as an encouragement to keep doing what he was doing, and he never stopped. Your hole throbbed, his tongue went up and down, he sucked and teased with his teeth as well, the sensations overwhelming you but becoming more and more intense, Jisung could clearly hear how you were coming apart and losing your mind from the silent posture you wanted to maintain, but he just loved your moans and heavy breathing when he flicked his tongue a certain way, and how you pulled his hair and you tried to arch your back. You were so beautiful, and to him there was nothing better than to see you like this, so flustered and sensitive from how hard he was going to make you cum.

Feeling how you started to shake, one of your hands flew to your mouth when you knew that you wouldn't be able to resist any more of the sweet torment you were a prisoner for, and suddenly, white hot pleasure numbed you and all you could do was lay there, pulling his hair locks and shaking slightly. Jisung never stopped his attack on you, the overstimulation caused by his tongue provoking a few tears from escaping the corners of your eyes, it felt like something new, like you had unblocked a new level of extasis.

Your high finally ended, and just when Jisung heard you breathing again he slowed down. You hadn't realized he put a hand on top of the one over your mouth to help quiet your cries, but you were certainly thankful that he'd done it, because if he hadn't, your neighbors would think he was ending your life or torturing a poor animal, or even worse, you would have a little girl banging on the door thinking you were hurt or something.

"You taste so good, my love, and you were so good to me too, enjoying how I played with your clit" he murmured, wiping his chin from your essence and standing up from the floor, looking at you with those lusty eyes you'd gotten to know so well, "but I still want you to come on my cock too. Look at me, look at the effect you have on me, Y/N…"

Your hand left his hair to clean your sweaty forehead, you tried your best to look at him when he ordered you to, his pants with an obviously painful erection, your eyes not failing to notice a dark spot that could be seen in the fabric.

Jisung undid the button and unzipped his pants, then slipped a hand under his dark boxers to pump himself, grunting from the touch of his hand against his dick, it was a majestic view you had only seen one time in the shower when he was horny but didn't wanted to wake you up.

It had been after a stressful night at the club full of young college students, he went straight to the shower after arriving home and the sound of the water hitting the tiles of the bathroom woke you up. You had sneaked to the bathroom, curious of the complaining noises Jisung made, and there you found him, with his eyes closed, a hand against the wall and the other around his dick moving slowly while he bit his lip, the water droplets running through his naked body making him appear like a Greek God. You kept staring at him working on himself maybe a little too much, because he ended up discovering you and then fucking you carefully in the shower. Truly, an incredible experience that even if it had been a little difficult to manage, you felt it was so worth it.

Finally undressing himself, Jisung stood up between your legs again, his hand on your stomach and he bent to kiss your forehead sweetly.

"You ready, baby?" he asked, waiting for any signal that could mean a positive or negative from you. One of his hands looked for yours to intertwine your fingers. You nodded, swallowing as you thought how good it was to have him filling you, and second later, he did just that. He stretched you as he entered you slowly, his hand squeezing yours next to your head while his other supported his weight, a quiet moan coming from his lips.

"Oh shit, Jisung! Fuck, you feel so good, please" your broken voice managed to speak.

You waited for him to move, but he asked you instead if you trusted him, and simple as that he shifted and now he was standing, your legs around his waist and arms around his neck, his hands on your eyes as he walked somewhere, the destination being your tiny balcony. You thought he wouldn't dare step outside, but he did and the cold air hit you, and not only that, but Jisung also pressed you against the cold glass door of the balcony.

"You better keep quiet, dove, or you'll get us discovered" he warned, proceeding to fuck you slowly as the moonlight illuminated you.

Two mornings after, you showered and got ready to eat breakfast. Jisu was already awake watching some cartoons as her dad hummed while he finished cooking her lunch. "Good morning," you said, going to kiss Jisung's lips and sitting to drink coffee.

"Hey, sweetheart. How do you feel?" Jisung corresponded to your greeting, giving you a quick wink before turning his back to the almost completed food.

"I'm okay, not too tired. Thanks for the coffee, babe. Are you ready for work?" you asked him. He laughed, but he admitted that he was actually nervous since it was something he was very passionate about, it made you happy to see him following his dreams.

When you were done with breakfast, the three of you went to the car, you would drop Jisung first at his friend's company, and then you would leave Jisu at the kindergarten, and you would go to your classes as usual.

"Have a nice first day, Sungie. Love you, I'll see you at home"

"Goodbye, daddy!"

"Thanks, beautiful. Behave well, princess. Love you both" and after you left him, you drove to Jisu's school.

She was always happy to go, she always talked about how her teacher was so pretty and smart, and you couldn't blame her. He was very charming, you would admit, and not only was he nice to the children he teached, but he also cared for the parents too and let everyone know that they could count on him, he was such a lovely spirit, you thought it was a shame Jisung hadn't met him yet, since it was you always dropping Jisu and then going to college while Jisung stayed home and slept after the long and tiresome club nights.

Turning off the car, you got out of the car and opened Jisu's door, helping her out and then walking hand in hand as she excitedly told you that she couldn't wait to see her favorite teacher in the whole world.

"Good morning, Y/N, Jisu" his smooth voice reached your ears when you arrived at the classroom. More kids and parents were saying their goodbyes, luckily Jisu always showed that she was brave and never spent too long hugging you goodbye, too eager to go play with the others kids to mind if you stayed too long after or not.

"Hey, good morning, teacher. How was your weekend?" you asked him, trying to be polite and show that you were a friend for him if he needed to talk just like he was for everyone else.

"Oh, Y/N, I've told you you can just call me Hyunjin, and my weekend was good, thanks for asking. How was yours?" he asked back, looking at your slightly colored cheeks with an adorable eye smile as he reminded you once again to call him by his name.

"My weekend was also nice, thank you, Hyunjin. How-" you were about to say something more, but your alarm that indicated you should better be leaving for your class rang. "Oh, I'm sorry, it seems like I should be leaving for class! See you later."

The professor nodded in understanding, and you turned and left, careful with your steps to not trip and fall to the ground. When you successfully got into your car, you breathed in and exhaled, preparing yourself for the rest of the day.

That was how your new routine was created; first, Jisung woke up and made breakfast, then you dropped him at work and took Jisu to school and you went to college and once you were done with classes you picked up Jisu and went to work at the coffee shop where you would meet with Jisung and the three of you would get home, some weekends still going on trips and enjoying as much time together as you could.

A few months into the new routine, when you were dropping Jisu at school Hyunjin asked you to stay a little more, explaining that there was an upcoming school trip and he was asking you to go as a supervisor. You thanked him, saying that you would try your best to accompany him and the class as well, and sooner than you had expected, the day arrived and Jisung and you were more than ready to go to the aquarium with a lot of other kids and few parents.

The trip was fun, if you had to admit. Seeing all the fish swimming and getting to know more about them was very interesting, and many kids agreed with you when you said that mermaids were very lucky to live underwater with many beautiful species.

Later, Hyunjin announced that it was time for lunch, so everyone had a break to sit down and eat. You were sitting with Jisung next to you, he was drinking from a juice box when Hyunjin approached you and sat with the two of you, addressing you and ignoring the man next to you.

"You're incredibly good with kids, Y/N, and it really shows. They seem to like you a lot" he said, placing a hand on your shoulder, his eyebrows raised as he spoke.

"Well, thank you. I like being with kids, actually, I've always wanted a big family" you shyly responded, looking at Jisung through the corner of your eye. You thought he would react somehow, but he was too focused looking at the kids who were playing near you.

"Well, you're still young and you seem pretty put together to be a single mother… If you look further you might find someone you could share your life with and get married" Hyunjin mumbled, turning from you to look at his class running around the cafeteria.

"Single mother?" you repeated, eyebrows furrowed as you repeated his words on your head again.

"What? Since when are you a single mother?" Jisung's voice reached your ears, making both you and Hyunjin turn to him. "I thought… I thought I was her father?" his voice cracked, making you open your eyes wide in confusion.

"Aren't you her uncle?" Hyunjin asked, finally acknowledging his presence.

"No, Jisung is Jisu's dad. I'm… I'm not a single mother, I'm Jisung's girlfriend, not… Jisu's biological mother" you explained to the teacher in a quiet voice to not get any attention from the other adults near you.

"You're her dad? I'm so sorry, I always saw Y/N leaving Jisu and picking her up, I thought… I thought you and her were all by yourselves. I…" Hyunjin's hand flew to cover his mouth, he seemed so ashamed from his quick assumptions that his face started picking a pink tone. "I wanted to invite you to a date, Y/N. You're a fantastic parental figure to Jisu and– and you're so beautiful, too… I have a big crush on you, I'm sorry…"

You wanted to answer to his apologetic words, but you were too shocked to say anything, not knowing what words would be appropriate to speak so you turned to Jisung to see what he had to say in regards to this situation instead.

"Look, I can't blame you for liking her. She really is magnificent and I'll never get to comprehend how lucky I am for being by her side. I'm sorry, Hyunjin, but I'm sure one day you'll find someone like Y/N you can love" the sincerity and affection carried on his words made you look down and stare at his hand that had moved moments before to hold yours, you already knew but you loved him and how sweet he was.

Hyunjin smiled at your boyfriend and then cleared his throat, "thank you for saying that. You two make a lovely couple, but… if you ever get to break up, you know where I work, Y/N" he winked, moving to stand up and walk away to get the class's attention and continue the tour.

Neither of you spoke a word about Hyunjin's misinterpretation of your civil state after the trip. Sure, it had shocked you at first, but you brushed it off as something not that important. What you didn't know was how badly those words were torturing Jisung's brain. He stayed up most of the night that day, an arm around your shoulders as you peacefully slept on his chest, his head running wild with thoughts about you and how much you changed his life.

That's how he finally gathered the courage to talk to Chan and Changbin about marriage; he knew he loved you, he knew you were a highlight of his life along with Jisu and he was a witness to how much you and she liked each other. He couldn't ask for anything more, and besides, maybe having a ring on your finger would help you stop getting flirted with when you already shared a life with him, because after all, you were young and full of life, many people approached you and asked you for a drink at college or they also asked for your number at work, and the idea of getting married to you excited him more than it scared him, so why not propose to you?

His friends supported his choice, Chan and Changbin had gotten to know you a little more and you got along with them together, they supported you and Jisung and they also offered to babysit Jisu to give you private time together. They were very considerate, and not only that but they could feel how much Jisung adored you in every lyric of any song inspired by you.

So a few months later, one tranquil Friday evening after work when his friends dropped him off at the coffee shop that was nearly empty (except for the owners, Jeongin, Chan, Changbin and for some reason Seungmin too) you were surprised by his cautious behavior.

Jisu was sitting on Changbin's lap when Jisung took your hand and made you walk to the middle of the place, clearing his throat nervously while still holding your hand, making eye contact with you when he started speaking:

"Y/N, this is where we met a long time ago, and this is where everything began that day when I asked you if you could do me a favor. It was the start of our story together, and after spending many days and nights with you I'm more than certain that I love you. I loved you that day, and I will still love you tomorrow, so would you marry me?" He finally ended his speech with a knee on the floor, Jisu next to him handing him a small velvet box that he opened, revealing a beautiful ring inside.

You were more than surprised now, staring at his kneeled form with teary eyes, a hand covering your mouth as you simply nodded in response to his question, and then he placed the ring on your finger, kissing your hand and then standing up to kiss you sweetly, making your heart melt.

"Thank you, Y/N. I love you so much" and after that, everyone rushed to congratulate you two, creating beautiful memories for you.

That Friday, Jisu clung to her uncle Changbin's neck and waved goodbye at you and your now fiancé, saying that she couldn't wait to go to the fair the next day with him, making you laugh and kiss her forehead goodbye, thanking Changbin (and Chan too) for taking care of her and taking her places.

When you arrived home with Jisung that night, you couldn't help but smile like you did when he kissed you the first time, it was a satisfactory feeling, to know that he loved you as much as to ask you to be a permanent part of his life. You were clingy to him, which also made his heart flutter when you pecked his lips or giggled when he touched you gently, but behind the closed door of the apartment he wasted no time and kissed you hungrily, like a caveman trying the most delicious thing in the world.

You breathed in, corresponding to his rude kiss, your hands on his face and his resting on your waist.

"You have no idea how happy it makes me to know you're gonna be only mine, sweetheart. Just mine," he whispered, his breath against your cheek when he separated from your lips to tell you that. He had pressed you against the door as soon as he locked it, attacking your lips like it was his only mission and then going down your neck, leaving a warm trace of kisses burning your skin.

This time, he paid no mind to the 'no marks' unspoken rule he had given himself, sucking on your neck with the sole intention of leaving evidence of the passionate night the two of you would be having to celebrate your engagement, and you couldn't complain. He had given you the ring you thought you would get in a few more years, you might as well show that you're already taken to anyone who crossed your way, it turned you on a little more, if you had to be brutally honest. Seeing Jisung being possessive of you always made you feel like you were one of his priorities, and also showed you that he had no intention in leaving you alone any time soon.

Moving your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck, his hands started taking your jeans off and were now running through your belly under your shirt, touching everything he could as he kept marking you.

"You're only mine now, baby" he growled, separating from you to take off your shirt and look at your almost naked figure, his eyes with a heavy lusty shadow on them.

"... Just yours" you repeated, closing your eyes and taking his face to kiss him with the same passion he did when the door closed behind you.

Your hands rested on his chest, fingers trying to unbutton his shirt, successfully failing at completing the task when he separated from you, placing one of his hands on top of both of yours and pinning them above your head, resting against the cold door while his other hand slipped through your panties.

He groaned when he felt your growing wetness, he found your clit instantly and rubbed it, making you sigh in satisfaction until his hand went down further and he inserted two fingers inside you, this time dragging a gasp from your lips when your walls felt the introduction of his digits. It felt nice, but you knew his cock would feel better inside you, you loved how he filled you.

Pumping his fingers slowly, you started moaning, letting yourself enjoy his treatment. His mouth left kisses on your clavicle, then your chest and when you least expected it, he was pulling your bra down with his teeth and sucking on one of your nipples, his fingers never stopped their work on you causing you to become a wet, moaning mess with twitching legs until you finally came, crying out Jisung's name when your high hit you.

He kept pumping his fingers, having discovered that you did actually like when he overstimulated you once and since then doing it from time to time, this being one of them, and when you blinked your orgadm away, the pulled them from you, loosening his grip on your wrists and licking his fingers clean from your juices as he hummed.

You thought he would be done, you thought he would like to go to bed and fuck you until you screamed his mess in the comfort of your king size bed, but apparently Jisung had other plans in mind, as he undressed his shirt and threw it to the floor with your clothes and pulled you by the arm to the back of the couch, turning you and pushing your back so you were bending over it, his knee between your legs separating them and keeping you from closing them. He started taking your underwear off, his fascinated lusty eyes appreciating how wet you were, practically dripping.

"I wish you could see yourself, you look so lovely, all ready to take me after I made you cum with my fingers. I bet I can make you cum like that again, would you like that?" He asked.

You gulped, "N-no, I want your cock, please fuck me with your cock!"

"My needy baby, so cute. It's 'kay, I'll make you cum around me sweetheart" he responded while his hands caressed your ass lovingly until you couldn't feel them anymore. Soon, you heard him pull his zipper down, anticipating what was yet to come.

"Are you ready, angel?" He asked, pressing the tip of his cock against your throbbing entrance. You nodded, and he started pushing himself inside your velvety walls, stretching you.

With a growl, his hands held you in place by your hips, making sure you wouldn't move from the position he had you in as he started pulling out, ready to repeat the process, meanwhile you were holding a pillow for dear life as your breath got caught in your throat as you waited for him to set up a pace with his hips.

Jisung started slowly, enjoying how you felt around him and loving the way you took him in, looking at how he disappeared which caused him to moan. You, on the other hand, had to resist the urgency of moving. You remember telling Jisung that you wanted him to bruise your cervix, saying that you wouldn't mind new things to which he agreed quickly.

Maybe that was why he had started more than the usual missionary, you were thankful that he kept it in mind, and now surprising you by taking you on the couch, in front of the turned off TV where you could see your blurry reflection getting wrecked from behind by him, it felt incredible.

"You feel so good, I'm so glad your pussy is just mine" he moaned, stopping for a brief second to take your right leg and rest it on the couch to hit a deeper spot inside you, making you start tearing up from pleasure.

"A-all yours" you cried out, inevitably clenching around him when you repeated what he said. You saw his cocku smile through the black mirror that was the TV.

"Ah, J-Jisung, harder!" you demanded with a whine when he found your g spot, the detonator to your best orgasms.

The sudden sting from his hand landing on your butt cheek shocked you, making you moan. "Where are your manners, baby? I thought you were my good angel" he said, starting to slow down the speed that had increased since he started thrusting.

"Please, go hard-harder" you corrected yourself, and once he heard the magic word he instantly did what you had asked of him, provoking you to moan each time he reached where you wanted him, and soon you were clenching around him, legs shaking and walls hugging him tightly causing him to near his climax as well.

It took a few more thrusts for him to find his release, but when he did you felt him filling your insides with his warm seed, a sexy groan coming from his chest and his fingers leaving a bruise on your hips from holding you too hard.

Pulling out from you, he pushed his fingers inside your pussy to keep his cum from hitting the ground, then he carefully pushed you on the couch and walked around it to cuddle with you in his arms.

"I love you" he told you, his hand petting your hair innocently (as if he hadn't fucked your lungs out 5 minute ago).

"I know," you answered, kissing his chest and tightening your arm around his torso in a half hug.

"Let's stay like this for a few minutes and then we can bathe, okay?" you hummed in agreement, enjoying the comfortable silence between the two of you until any of you felt gross enough to want to get cleaned.

You didn't know how much time had passed, but when you realized Jisung wasn't with you any more you stood up looking for him, only to find him filling the tub, a few aromatic candles lighted up, a delicious smell reaching your nostrils. You saw the bathtub was almost all full, so you decided to surprise Jisung by wrapping your arms around his back.

"Let's get cleaned up, what do you say, sweetie?" He said, removing your arms from him and stepping into the warm water, opening his arms for you.

You rolled your eyes, but copied him anyway and rested your back in his chest. The water relaxed your muscles, the candle's scent helped you feel almost like in heaven, and Jisung arm made you know you were safe. Everything was so sweet, until you felt something else poking your lower back.

With a raised eyebrow, you faced your partner with a silent explanation only to find him staring at the love bites on your neck, but you opted for not commenting anything about it.

"You know… I really love you and I'm happy that you accepted to be a part of my life," he said, his deep voice and serious tone getting your attention, so you faced him to hear all he had to say.

"I remember you told Hyunjin that you wanted a big family, and… I know Jisu wouldn't mind having a sibling. I believe now would be a good time to have a baby of our own, but only if you agree with me, honey" he smiled, kissing your shoulder.

"Are you serious?" you asked him after processing his words in your head. He nodded, his hand playing with yours as he waited for you to say something else.

"I would love to, Sungie. I already consider you and Jisu as my family, hell, I feel happy when she tells her friend I'm her mom. So yes, if you're really sure, I want to do it. Let's have a baby" you smiled excitedly, moving to kiss his lips sweetly.

"Then we should keep practicing, shouldn't we?" He joked, winking at you after you ended the kiss. You hit him playfully, giggling at his question.

From joking about it, you two ended up having sex on the tub and staying there until the water got cold and the candles lighted out, and yet, when you were cuddling in bed ready to sleep, you couldn't stop smiling. It had been a fantastic day and even better night and early morning.

Next morning when Jisung saw you walking to the kitchen with his shirt on, he kissed your lips and greeted you with a "good morning, future Mrs. Han," a plate of pancakes in front of you.

"I'm so lucky to have you" you told him, to which he replied with "I'm so lucky to be loved by you."

And you decided that this was pure happiness, you didn't have anything to worry, and you loved your family and your friends a lot, you were almost done with college and starting to plan a wedding. Maybe you weren't rich, but you had everything you wanted and maybe a little more.

After all, engraved in the ring Jisung gave you, it said "for my soul mate", so you had him, for as long as time lasted, and he had you, the missing piece of the puzzle of his life.

You complemented each other, and comprehended each other. What you two had could be considered 'true love', and you were thankful to the universe for placing this single dad in your life, showing you what happiness, and what love was.

"I can't wait to marry you" you sighed, daydreaming about how you wanted the wedding to be.

"And I cannot wait to call you mine legally" he responded, kissing your cheek.

"I've always been yours"

"That's good, because you'll always be mine in the future as well. No quitting now, babe!"

#skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #skz smut #stray kids smut #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #han jisung x you #han x y/n #han x reader #han smut #han x you #han jisung smut #mine #original content #part 2 #scheduled post

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