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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 2 days ago

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can you write about Yandere mermaid or a female siren please?

Together Forever | Yandere Siren x Reader

Thinking about a siren woman on a mission, granted the ability to walk on land along with her sisters. A long-awaited revenge finally coming to fruition. As expected she dazzles all, surprised by the ease at charming all she comes across but she’s faltering because of something minor. Or rather someone.

“Hey Felis I was wondering if you’d be free to come with us to the arcade.”

“Nice try (Y/n), obviously Felis is too good for the arcade.”

“Yeah, she probably has important things to do.”

“Actually (Y/n) I would love to.”

“Great I’ll add you to the group chat.”

It’s you. The oddly talkative and goofy former outcast with the support of your atypical friends. Laughing about animated series and independent games with a sense of niche community found on most uni campuses.

Usually, she should have never crossed paths with you. Unable to apply her shallow level of research to such a deep-seated community and deeming it irrelevant in the grand scheme of her plan. But something about you drew her in, maybe it was the contrast of your silence in class to your smiling visage at clubs. Or maybe it was the way you maintained the character you were cosplaying on campus during club-day. Or maybe it was the way she so easily slipped into her siren song when you cheered for her at karaoke. Either way, she just can’t stop, even if it means going against the original plan.

“What is your problem Felis!? You were supposed to have drowned more by now!”

“I am working on it, too many at one time and I’ll be a suspect!”

“We already are aware of that which is why we have a replacement waiting. What could possibly be worth delaying the plan for?!”

“...It’s something important!”

“Fine but do it fast. I’m demanding your apology in bodies. Twice as many, you hear?”

“...fine.”

Felis was meant to have killed more humans by now. Confirming that they were the children that the hex pointed them to. Unfortunately among these humans, she was meant to drown, was you. Beaming and clueless, inclusive and kind completely unaware that you were the only descendant of a distant ancestor entangled with the sirens long ago.

“Hey Felis, are you a swimmer?”

“Huh, what?! I…am. Why do you ask?”

“I’m just thinking about checking out this spot along the river, I heard it’s like some legendary rejuvenation spot. Would you maybe want to come?”

“Uh, sure.”

Just her luck the one human she happens to love and her sisters demand she drowns is you. It takes hours of soaking in her dorm’s shower before she comes up with a brilliant idea.

She’ll just drown you!

Tell all the mutual friends you previously invited to go to another spot by the river giving the wrong landmark to find the unbeaten path; then purposely making the mistake for one of your close friends to correct her, allowing Felis to conveniently forget to tell the others. Now that her mistake has an adorably innocent papertrail she finds herself annoyed with the fact that your tight-knit friend group wasn’t so easily swayed.

“Hey (Y/n) you’re already swimming?”

“Yeah the current isn’t too bad here, I’m just watching the fish go by!”

“Thanks for inviting me again, (Y/n).”

“(Y/n) invites everyone to the river eventually, this has been the spot for ages.”

As if she didn’t already know that. “Oh is that so?”

“Yup just glad you can join us Felis, though I hope you don’t feel too left out we’ll be talking about that anime's new release.”

“Don’t apologize (Y/n), she knew who she was hanging out with.”

“Yeah most normies tend to avoid us like the plague, but my guess is Felis isn’t like that or maybe she just hasn’t got the memo.”

“Ohhh yes it’s like instead of injecting herself into social situations to drive the convo like a normal extrovert, she’s putting herself out of her comfort zone and silently observing like an introvert.”

“Come one guys be nice.”

She endures it. A whole four hours of mindless chatter, she could care less about. Seeing the sun had begun to set she decided it was time to put her plan into action. Excusing herself from the river Felis disappeared into the forest surrounding. Letting the group speak in hushed voices all about her. Of course as a creature of the deep her hearing was strong enough to hear the not so-secret opinions of your friends. While she imagined the embarrassment they’d feel if she appeared before them, she decided to focus on the objective.

“But it can’t be that bad? Is it? Those IGN reviews are always off.”

“Well yeah but I have to say it was pretty accurate to me!”

“I think you’re losing it.”

“Oh come on it’s not that–WHOA what is that?!”

“What’s what—glug—ahhh!”

Faster than any of your friends can realize you are underneath the surface of the rushing waters and headed downstream at an impossible speeds. A glimpse of something scaly along your side, chalked up to a hallucination as they climb out and run alongside the river with hopes to catch you.

Within a minute you are out of sight and the group is left on their knees at the side of the river. Calling out your name and getting no response as the fear settles in.

They’ve lost you.

For all they know you could be dead and in part it’s their fault. It has to be.

“Hey why’d you guys run away like that, what’s going on? Where’s (Y/n)?!”

They plead their various experiences. Their testimonies overlapping one another in a frantic haze until they take a beat to compose themselves. All crowding around Felis as they share the terrible news; watching nervously as her face beautifully twists with curiosity.

“Oh they probably ended up in a nearby cove. The map I looked at earlier had a couple marked on there. We can check and see if the current spat them out there.”

“....I’m still not sure that was the current. Maybe we should call–”

“Don’t stress. We check the coves and if we don’t find them we call. Okay? (Y/n) will probably be so mad if they knew you got all riled up on their behalf

“I don’t think they’d be mad more like happy we—“

“Come on. We’re losing daylight.”

The group follows Felis to this cove walking long after the sun has gone and the moon slowly begins to illuminate their walk. Their paranoid thoughts about where you might be, what they saw, and what would be the plan overtaking the group. Felis resumed her typical observation speaking up only to properly guide the group away from the main river. So consumed in their grief and fear not once had anyone questioned just how Felis knew where this cove was.

“Whoa is that someone’s swim trucks?!”

“These look new? Could this have been a bear attack?”

“No way maybe they were goofing and tore at it someother way look at all the beer cans around this place.”

“Yuck, they even have them going into the cove.”

“Come on, (Y/n) is waiting for us.”

What the group took as an optimistic statement, stepped over the cans and entered the mouth of the cove. Starting on the soggy sand along it’s sides until it dwindled landing the group in waist-length murky water. The only reflections being the occasional glint in the group’s eyes.

“H-how would we know if (Y/n) is in here?!”

“We’d h-have to call out and hopefully they’ll hear us, right?”

The groups hollering echoes off the walls of the cave. The only responses being their own shaky voices and the occasional splashing in the water.

“Guys I really don’t think they’re here!”

“Oh no we have to get outta here and call the police!”

This is stupid! We should’ve called them from the beginning. Let’s go.”

“Wait wheres Felis—uhp!”

Splash!!

In the inky darkness of the water beneath them something shifts and when they huddle near one another to look down at the space their friend was just at, something faintly blue glows beneath them.

“WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?”

“wE GoTTA GET OUT OF HERE!”

“THEY’RE GONE! BOTH GONE!”

“Hurry go for the exit!”

Scrambling in the water, they try to out-runnning the speedy glowing light under the rippling water. Another goes under and your remaining friend group is practically at the end of the cove happy to see the reflection of the moon against the water.

“WE’RE ALMOST THERE!”

“Go go go!”

“Wait what’s in there!”

One of them points to the water where a similar blue light glows brighter under the water. Standing between them and the mouth of the cove, they frantically spare a glance at the fainter light closing in on them. With a frantic confusion their heads dart to each side wondering which of these mysterious lights they’ll finally get to see first. In the end the light that glows at the mouth of the cave is the brightest and the water opening up to reveal none other than–

“Felis!? You’re still alive?!”

It is she, who's silhouetted by the risen moon, and wearing a blue necklace that glows. With a sigh of relief they come closer to her smiling form and relax. Instantly put at ease by a friend in such a frightening situation.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

She sounds different. Her voice, normally preppy and bright is now sultry and alluring in a way your friends haven’t quite realized. Of course they knew long before now that Felis was likened to a nymph among the masses. Impossibly slender, handsomely tall, and hair that flows down her back like an obsidian waterfall. Now it just seems so much more profound. So much more enrapturing to see her bare self at the exit of the cove.

“Thank you for waiting. I didn’t mean to keep you long.”

Swooning, they didn’t bother speak. Just releasing the tension in their bodies and planning to float instead of trying to balance on the soggy sand. All was forgiven and all was forgotten especially the blue light behind glowing brighter.

“Now eat my love! There’s plenty more where that came from!”

In the haze of their drunken trance, it was barely registered that the response in their limbs was impossible thanks to the jagged rows of teeth gnawing at their bloodied stumps. Their nerves ineffectively firing a warning and making their heart pump violently; all to be ignored as the brain designates a higher function for their failing bodies.

Be Food for Felis.

It didn’t matter that their eyes flickered with familiarity as the glowing azure devourer resembled their missing friend or that globs of tears were falling onto their freezing face. Only that Felis too had revealed a jaw full of fangs and was penetrating their cranium with furious abandon. Like fulfilling a craving after a dutiful wait.

“Don’t cry! Now they’ll be with you forever! Not in the same way I will but whatever!”

Carefully she framed her hands around your head she let’s your newly frigid and freshly scaly form lean against her. A mixture of grief and exhaustion allowing her to hold your placid form as she rubs her fingers against your closing eyelids.

Drowning you was the best thing she could have ever done!

#lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yanderexrea #yanderes #yandere #female yandere #gn reader #late mermay #yandere siren #yandere siren x reader #yandere mermaid #yandere fanfiction

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madam-whim · 2 days ago

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So I want to get my little Solstice rant out there...

So, the season of the worm cult is finally here, and with it our beloved bread boy. But at what cost… Suffice it to say I’m still pretty much heartbroken about what happened, even though I’m so happy about all these beloved characters coming back. But that doesn’t mean I’m 100% satisfied with how the story went.

The story, at its core, is good - but the ending isn’t great

I want to preface this by saying that I think the zone was great overall, though some of that certainly comes down to personal preference as I really enjoy Sanguine content, and the main story was, for the most part, really good as well! Not good enough to give Summerset or Elsweyr a run for their money, but definitely good enough that I got insanely emotional over it (holy shit the music during Gabby’s farewell… I cried), something I genuinely missed these last few years.

I am also still not over that one conversation with Gabrielle, where she admitted to being in love with Darien.

That said, I think whatever was up with the Gift of Death was handled just a tiny bit poorly, and so was Darien’s writing. (I’ll talk about that later, but want to preface it by saying I absolutely don’t blame the writers for this one!) The last quest had its great (if terribly sad) moments, but also just a few weaknesses that I hope might be cleared up in part 2.

This is gonna be a long one, so I’m gonna put it under a cut.

What the hell is Darien and why isn’t it talked about anymore: The Summerset Memory Gap

Anyone remember that bit of dialogue in Summerset? The one where we could approach Darien and basically go “You’re not really a Breton, are you?”, and he’d say he didn’t really know himself? We know that man has barely any memory of his early life, and while we know he has a “father”, this might all simply be due to altered memories. Other people have discussed this in far greater detail, but basically there are a few things that Darien could be, and my list is by no means complete: - Someone who used to be a normal Breton, and is now something a bit different, changed by Meridia

- A vessel holding some of Meridia’s power, who acts as her champion when she wishes to get involved

- A Demiprince of Meridia

Personally, I think it’s between option 1 and 2, but my point in all of this is that Darien was never, to my understanding, really dead. We know from his one letter found in Orsinium that after Coldharbour, he retained his consciousness at least, and after Summerset we assumed that he was, well, gone, but again, not dead, just dormant until Meridia needed him again.

And I would assume the Vestige would have told Gabrielle this, and yet she believed him to be really dead and decided that therefore, she could bring him back with the Gift of Death.

So why does Gabrielle get that idea when she should know Darien is not really dead? And why did it work?

Was it

a) a really lucky coincidence, with the Gift being a tainted Light of Meridia and using it for its assumed purpose purifying it, but the Coloured Rooms already changing its functionality so that Gabrielle could actually “summon” Darien?

Or was it

b) that its use within Meridia’s realm purified it, as Darien said, but it was only returned to its original state? Which would then mean that this caught Meridia’s attention and she sent Darien, because the artifact likely wouldn’t have worked that way anymore.

It’s a bit confusing, and I kinda like to know which option it is, because I want to know if if was Gabrielle or Meridia who really did the thing. I’ll take it though, even though I feel like it’s a flaw in the story’s logic. But I’m really not too happy with Gabrielle really thinking of Darien as dead instead of trapped somewhere else.

Omitting previously established lore

And that, specifically, leaves me with some questions. What on earth happened to the hints that we were fed during Darien’s seven year MIA phase? There’s just the general Meridia negativity that was all over Southern Elsweyr and Greymoor (remember Southern Elsweyr daily quest man, who repeatedly informed us she was not good and liked stealing people).

And then there were also really solid clues that there was something up with Meridia, namely one quest, also in Southern Elsweyr, where it was explicitly stated that she’s in need of a new, more loyal champion, as well as the Kilkreath quest in Greymoor, where Meridia did fuck all to stop literal undead from overrunning her followers, leading me to believe something was preventing her from intervening. Even if she didn’t care about her followers, undead in her temple are canonically something she hates and wants OUT.

There was also the fact that Gabrielle quite literally told us she joined the Antiquarian Circle for Darien-related reasons. Girl was researching how to break into the Coloured Rooms. Mind you, this was also after Summerset, so we can assume that even with the Golden Knight Vanishing Act 2, she didn’t believe he was dead at that point. Again, the Vestige would have told her.

So why does she suddenly act like she believes just that in Solstice? Where did all the rest of the lore go?

The only thing I can come up with is that all of it was discarded to make the whole thing more palatable/easier to get into for new and returning players who haven’t been frantically checking every DLC for even vaguely Meridia-themed scraps and who the writers either can’t or won’t expect to catch up on several years of clue hunting.

The Season of the Worm Cult was marketed as a continuation of the base game story, so everyone was aware of that. But new players and those returning after a long time might not know about Summerset, and really, that was seven years ago. Many folks who were around for Summerset aren’t playing anymore. I imagine the quest was written with a target audience in mind that doesn’t recall events from every chapter that ever happened.

Now why does the writing feel a little flat in some places?

There were a few little things bothering me as I was making my way through the MQ. I think the biggest thing that concerned me at the end was how flat everything felt after Gabrielle’s death. Mostly Darien’s reactions to it, especially with how Gabrielle spoke of him before. He references her, honors her sacrifice of course, but he just seems to take it all in stride. I know that this is partly just due to how he is – ever-cheerful, optimistic guy who pushes forward because there’s no other way – but I would have liked to see some genuine grief from him instead of a bread joke someone snuck into his dialogue. (Yeah, I smiled. But still.) Especially after everyone was safely out of the Coloured Rooms and there was no more need to run off and face the Wormies.

I also think the entire MQ very… impersonal at times? In some places it feels like the Vestige and everyone around them suffer from memory loss specifically affecting their personal relationships, unless you make it a point to go through specific dialogue options. I know that, again, this is likely so that any new player can jump right in and not constantly wonder “Why does this NPC talk to me as if we’re old friends?”, but that’s canonically what they are! Especially Covenant Vestiges! They have been close with most of the characters involved in Solstice for - depending on how you interpret the timeline - years! In my case, I go with ‘one chapter per year’ so my girl’s known them for 10 years. These people are more important to her than anything else and I would have very much appreciated to be able to lean into that a bit more.

And, like, I get it! We’re coming off a series of one or two year standalone stories that you could jump into without any previous knowledge. Blackwood, High Isle, Necrom and Gold Road as well as any additional DLC during those years required absolutely no knowledge of previous stories or returning characters. (I’m counting Blackwood since having played Orsinium was in no way relevant to what was going on there, aside from having met Eveli before, whereas in the Markarth DLC, for example, it would have been a good idea going in with knowledge of Rivenspire.) So yeah, going back to referencing older content more might be an adjustment, but it would be so much better for the depth of the story!

Is it rushed?

In my opinion, the ending is. I would have wished for Gabrielle’s death to have a bigger impact especially on Darien (who also might just love her) and Skordo (who’s been her friend for years). I would have liked an option for the Vestige to address the topic with them, because the Vestige is also among her closest friends. I suppose I was just a bit bothered by how quickly the quest was concluded. I know that it’s intended to be just “the middle of things” and there’s gonna be a whole bunch of Stirk Fellowship folks arriving at any moment, but to me it seemed like at least some of the people already there should have been… in shock? Grieving? At the end. As it is, Azah’s grief over Merric’s death in the prologue was given more room than what surely the characters would have felt about Gabby dying, and that doesn’t sit right with me.

My advice: Make a choice who you’re writing these quests for!

In all honesty? In my experience there are only two types of people playing this game. Those who actively go questing, listen to all the dialogue and know what happens in the story, and those who rush through for skill points and achievements. If anything, there is a very small “middle group” who has a vague idea of what’s going on but doesn’t particularly care.

So, dear writers, just write for the group that actually loves your work. For the small but dedicated fanbase that’s been (in this case) turning over every pebble in search of Darien hints for the last seven years. For the people who can handle more than the most straightforward, simplified storylines. That means you don’t have to go “Previously on ESO…” as if we can only play one quest per week (one little summary at the start of the second half of an arc is okay and much appreciated). Instead, you could give the characters more depth and feelings, and you could bring in references to long-ago DLC and simply assume that the person who actually reads through all the quests/listens to the dialogue will remember and know what it’s about. I promise. It would improve the quality of the quests so much and be a huge step in returning them to the insane level they were on in the base game and certain older chapters and DLC.

Yes, I know the writers will never read this. I am a small blog with no reach. I also know it’s just a dream of mine and they probably have been told to make the quests easily accessible for people who have no idea about previous stories. But I still wanted to get it out there.

Still, and I need this to be understood, I LIKED this questline. I have been waiting for it for seven years and I’m so glad to have it.

That being said, I see three ways this could end…

Now, as for my predictions regarding how the whole thing will turn out: Mannimarco and Vanus both have to come out of this alive (or close enough to it anyhow), if not, practically ancient TES lore will be contradicted. But what of our beloved friends?

We finally get a happy ending (not bloody likely)

There is a chance, however small, that we somehow get to save Gabrielle and keep Darien, this time around. Knowing Darien and his role in previous arcs, it’s not likely, but a woman can hope, right? It would be a nice ending to the whole Worm Cult mess, with the Daggerfall gang all back together, without any dead or missing friends this time. In all honesty though, one of the reasons I think this won’t be the case is that Gabrielle being in love with Darien and him having some feelings for her at least is now canon. That paired with the fact that so many people ship Darien with their Vestiges, and the writers maybe not wanting to take Darien away from player characters, makes the whole thing a tiny bit complicated, doesn’t it? I suppose we’ll see if we get flirty dialogue options for him like we did for Raz. (I sure hope not...)

We lose them both and the Vestige goes bonkers

There’s also the distinct possibility that we’re gonna get hit with a worst case scenario: Gabrielle stays dead and Darien, once again, sacrifices himself and the cycle starts again. Now, if this happens, I genuinely doubt we’re ever going to see Darien again after that – we’re not going to get him back another time, or it would begin to feel less impactful. That said, my Vestige at the very least would absolutely lose it if this happened. That woman has been held together by a support system of one Orc warrior, one Breton mage and a gaggle of vampires for the last few years. If she loses even one more of them, her sanity might just walk off the nearest cliff. I can’t be the only one with this problem.

The Switch Back

And then there’s the third option, in which Darien and Gabrielle switch back – he sacrifices himself, maybe even permanently this time, to bring her back. I don’t want to think about this one too much. Mostly because Darien/Gabrielle is my OTP.

This is it for now – big rambling post of the year concluded. What do you all think? I would love to yap about your thoughts with you!

#intya rambles #eso #season of the worm cult #solstice #darien gautier #gabrielle benele #skordo the knife #solstice spoilers #eso spoilers #season of the worm cult spoilers

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spatialwave · 16 hours ago

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V's All That

Chapter 6 || The Lab

➥ Summary: Jayce Talis, the school's golden boy and a guaranteed pick for Prom King, seems to have it all—looks, charm, and popularity. However, when Kino presents him with the opportunity to win back Mel, his ex-girlfriend and the one who got away, Jayce jumps at the chance. The challenge? To transform Viktor, a snarky outcast who is as far from popular as possible, into Prom King instead. Jayce takes the bait, but he may have taken on more than he can handle. ➥ Word Count: 3.7k ➥ Pairing: Jayce Talis x Viktor || Arcane

🧡 beta'd by @spxllcxstxr 🩷 art by @wapimostosis 🧡 available on ao3

<- part 5.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Caitlyn’s voice cracked through weights slamming, and distant chattering in the gym. With her knees bent on the leg press, her eyes snapped over to Jayce, who stood beside her with a lost look in his eyes, pleading for any form of advice. “You lied to him and then kissed him?”

Jayce’s eyes danced to the other people in the gym, who were far from paying attention, and hissed back, “Keep your voice down.”

“No one can hear us,” she snapped, inhaling a sharp breath and shutting her eyes. “Let me think for a minute.”

The older boy leaned against the weight machine, hands running down his face in exasperation after revealing everything to Caitlyn. The bet that started with Kino, which sparked the unlikely friendship with Viktor, was making its rounds amongst the students of Piltover High. Although only two – now three – people knew of the animosity behind the friendship. Though to Jayce, there wasn’t any. Not anymore, at least.

Jayce didn’t like to think of himself as a monster, but the way Caitlyn couldn’t look him in the eye was telling.

With a heavy sigh, he broke, “Listen, I know I’m a piece of shit for this, alright? I’m telling you because I need your help unfucking this mess.”

“A mess you made,” Caitlyn reminded, her eyes opening to meet his. Surprisingly, they were soft. It was Jayce; she was biased. “But… I can tell you like him. More than a friend.”

Jayce’s cheeks burned a deep red, the colour staining over his tanned skin as those bright hazel eyes danced around the gym. He didn’t want to think about it. The feelings he had for Viktor. The confusion that came with liking another man. It was—a lot.

It was unlike anything he had felt before. He hadn’t thought about Mel in days. All he could think of was Viktor. The kiss. His smile. Those amber eyes. It was embarrassing to him.

“Don’t look so sad,” Caitlyn breathed, her laughter relieving his stress, “No one is going to judge you, Jayce. It’s a very normal feeling.”

He scoffed, meeting her eyes and raising a brow.

“Okay,” she backtracked, “No one you care about will judge you. Better?”

“A little,” he mumbled, but he didn’t believe her. She didn’t know Kino. She didn’t know his other friends as well as he did. Being different wasn’t often considered a great way to propel yourself to the top of the social ladder. It was the very reason this bet took place.

Viktor was different, and Kino didn’t like that.

“Jayce,” her voice was so gentle, and he jumped in place when he realized that she was standing in front of him. Two hands rested over his bare shoulders, finger pads pressed into his muscles, “You need to be truthful with him. That is the only way to keep him in your life. It’ll be difficult, and he might need his space, but coming clean and being honest is the only thing you can do to make it right.”

“Technically, he’s already in my life—”

“Don’t be an ass, you know what I mean,” she hissed. He winced at a heavy smack on his shoulder.

“I hear you,” Jayce groaned. Coming clean wasn’t easy, nor did he expect Viktor to ever look at him the same way if he told him. Why couldn’t it be simpler? Why couldn’t Jayce just shove the truth deep and far into the ground, and forget it ever existed? Why did he have to bring Caitlyn into the loop?

✦︎

“Am I kissable?”

The question had come out of left field. Sky was sitting at the library table in the very back, where Viktor preferred to sit. Her nose was buried into a textbook as they analyzed their final biology project together. Sitting up straight, the girl pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose as she looked at her best friend.

He was slouched over, his chin in his hand as he stared at a blank page in his notebook. The hangover was killing him, but not as much as the lingering anxiety and depression that came after nights of drinking.

“I don’t think I’m equipped to answer that,” Sky spoke, raising a curious eyebrow as she closed her textbook. She stared at Viktor with thinned lips, having been waiting to ask about what happened the night before.

If Sky was anything with him, it was patient.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as Viktor refused to look up or further his question. “What happened?”

Viktor shifted, albeit very slightly. The headache that penetrated deep into his skull was making him nauseous, and he wished he had cancelled his plans to stay in bed. Though when he flickered his eyes up and met with Sky’s, he felt comfort wash through him.

“I fucked up.” He muttered quietly, and his mind jumped straight to the kiss. The one that lasted all of three seconds before he puked up the greasy dinner he indulged in at Powder’s. With a heavy sigh, that one might call dramatic, he collapsed his face into his arms that crossed over the table.

“Oh, Viktor,” Sky sighed quietly. A gentle hand stretched outward across the table and rested over his slender arm covered by the white long-sleeved shirt he layered under a black band tee. Her thumb rubbed against the fabric, a simple ministration that calmed him. “Tell me. I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“I kissed Jayce,” he mumbled, his voice strained from his mouth resting against his arm. “I kissed him at the end of the night, and once we did, I threw up, and he took me home, and he hasn’t even tried calling me.” He was silent for a few beats, sitting up and speaking again before Sky could interject. “And I hate the way I sound right now. I shouldn’t be worried about my kissability, or why some stupid man isn’t calling me—”

Sky could see the panic in his eyes. A panic he hadn’t shown since Orianna was first put in the hospital when they were finishing sophomore year.

It was rare for him to break down like this or overwork himself beyond his limits. Viktor prided himself on his fierce independence.

“Why are you smiling?” He flashed a look of annoyance at Sky, his eyes wide.

“Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in love before.” She grinned, pulling her hand away before Viktor could even attempt to swat at her.

“Love is egregiously advanced for what I am feeling, Sky,” Viktor said adamantly, scoffing. His sunken, pale cheeks had been dusted with a soft pink colour, and he refused to look at her. Instead, he found a row of books beyond them much more interesting.

“Okay, let me reiterate. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you have a crush on someone who wasn’t Orlando Bloom or John Stamos—”

“I told you those in confidence.”

“Viktor,” she laughed, the smile reaching her eyes, “Just let me talk, okay?”

Viktor clenched his jaw tight, leaning back in his chair as he stared her down. She was too happy, too invested in this. Too optimistic. “Fine,” he muttered, fingers finding his pencil to toy with as he listened.

“What I want to say is that what you are feeling is very normal,” She explained, hands moving as she spoke, “I’ve had my fair share of crushes on boys, and your mind doesn’t work right when you’re caught up in them. You overthink, you worry, you are scared that you’ll mess everything up!”

Viktor looked back at her, chewing on his lip. Well, that was one way to put it.

“Jayce hasn’t called because he’s probably thinking the same thing,” she offered the input with a shrug. “He may think he messed things up by taking it too far… or maybe he’s just not sure what to say. Boys aren’t the best at communication. Yes, that includes you.”

“Thanks,” Viktor snorted a bitter laugh. After a moment to reel in her words, he shook his head, “I just can’t help but think something is underlying in… whatever I have going on with him. Why me?”

“Or maybe you’re just not used to good things happening to you?” Sky leaned forward, chin in both hands, as she smiled, “If I were you, I’d talk to him tomorrow. I’ve never seen you quite as happy as you are with him, Vik.”

Viktor scrunched his nose in forced disgust, “Okay, yeah. Whatever. I’ll talk to him.” He mumbled, as if it wasn’t the best advice he had received in a long time. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled, biting her tongue and deciding against asking what the kiss was like. She’d find out in due time.

✦︎

When Monday rolled around, both boys had no intention of taking the advice they’d been given. First period came and went, then lunch. Time ticked on quickly for a dreary, overcast Monday, and they became experts in avoidance—even in class. What had become a bad habit of stolen glances and shared notes torn from corners of notebooks turned into cold shoulders.

It wasn’t out of hatred. No. It was the very opposite that drove them away.

Viktor had grown to hate how his stomach churned anytime he set eyes on Jayce, how his gap-tooth smile made him want to scream into a pillow. Or better yet, kiss the smile off his face.

Jayce had stepped into chemistry class seconds before the bell rang, and much to his chagrin, the only available seat was next to Viktor. He had been staring ahead in class, bored and watching as the teacher wrote on the chalkboard the upcoming assignment.

It wasn’t until the sound of the stool next to him shifted on the laminate flooring that he was pulled from his thoughts. With a glance, he expected to see Sky, but his eyes widened when they landed on Jayce.

Shit, shit, shit.

Swallowing down a thick lump in his throat, he snapped his gaze forward. Out of the corner of his eye, he noted how Jayce slowly unpacked his books, obviously not planning on attempting to go anywhere else. Welp.

“Okay, class,” Mr. Heimerdinger said, looking out towards the students who all looked bored out of their minds, apart from a select few. “We’re going to do an exercise in class today because it appears that many of you do not understand how to neutralize acids after last week’s demonstration and pop quiz.”

There was a chorus of groans.

Mr. Heimerdinger puffed out his chest, clearing his throat, “You will work with who you are sitting with. Please flip to Page 135 and follow the instructions there. I have kindly provided you with all the materials you will need at your desk—”

The instructions, by this point, had gone in through one ear and out the other from both Viktor and Jayce. Neither of them had much trouble in chemistry, nor did they fail either the pop quiz or the hands-on demonstration given last week.

Without speaking, both boys had jumped into the assignment. Viktor had taken the task of pipetting acid into the flask, while Jayce put together the burette and filled it with a base. Minutes had passed, and both boys wore their safety goggles and lab coats in silence, working together seamlessly as if they were lab partners in another life.

“How’re you feeling today?”

Jayce’s voice cracked right through Viktor’s concentration as he scribbled down notes onto the paper given to them to fill out as they worked on the neutralization process. Looking over, he sighed and pushed his goggles up until his hair was pushed back.

“Okay, I guess. Tired.” Viktor shrugged in response, hating the way his heart ached as he watched Jayce study the burette. Making sure there was enough neutralizer, and that the stopcock was perpendicular and keeping any fluid from dropping out. “You?”

“I’m good,” Jayce murmured. He straightened up, breaking his concentration and glancing at Viktor. Even just a glance, it set his heart on fire. He looked cute, with his hair splayed in every which direction because of the goggles. It brought a smile to his face, one that warmed Viktor’s insides. “I don’t want to go to practice tonight. I could use another night lazing around.”

“Ah,” Viktor responded. He returned the goggles over his eyes. “Do you want to swirl the flask or drip the neutralizer?”

“I can swirl the flask. It’s fun,” Jayce replied, smiling to himself as he eased into the conversation better than he had worried about all night.

“Of course you’d think it’s fun,” Viktor chided playfully. He leaned forward, scooting on his stool a bit closer to Jayce as they coordinated their movements.

With his eyes fixed on the liquid being swirled in the flask, Viktor began to drop the neutralizer slowly.

“This might be a personal question,” Jayce’s voice was soft, too quiet for anyone else to hear as they focused. “But when I was at your house, I saw a picture on your wall… You and Dr. Reveck and—”

“Orianna,” Viktor spoke, his voice sharply cutting off Jayce’s. “Stop swirling.”

Jayce did as told. He ceased his movements, and just like clockwork, the liquid in the flask turned a faint pink colour. Neutralized.

Returning to the paper, Viktor began to scribble down more notes of their session, writing so fast that Mr. Heimerdinger would surely have a difficult time attempting to decipher the notes.

“Is she your sister?”

Viktor paused his writing, out of the corner of his eye, seeing Jayce turn towards him completely, with a gentle look in his eyes. He wanted to berate him for asking something that was none of his business, but he figured, after kissing him, he had the right to want to learn more about him. Viktor wasn’t exactly known for being an open book, and although he preferred to keep it that way, it wasn’t out of necessity more than it was preference—an easy way to shut people out.

He hadn’t wanted to shut Jayce out.

“No, she’s Dr. Reveck’s daughter,” Viktor said after clearing his throat a couple of times. A beat passed, then two. He huffed, turning to face Jayce and once again pushing his goggles back as their knees knocked together. “I’m a foster kid.”

Jayce’s eyes widened just enough for Viktor to notice—a reaction he wasn’t keen on receiving. Yet another thing to be so different about.

“I see,” Jayce murmured, watching as Viktor returned to the paper. He watched silently as he scribbled notes down, swinging a leg absently as he racked his brain for something else to say. “Is he a good foster dad? Dr. Reveck.”

“He was a lot better before Orianna got sick,” he muttered, squeezing his hand tight around his pencil as he temporarily lost momentum in his writing. A sudden jarring weakness, he fought through until his pencil no longer felt like it was going to rip through the paper.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault,” Viktor mumbled, writing his name at the top of the paper. He slid it over the tabletop to Jayce, fingers brushing as he took the pencil from his finger and signed his name right beside.

“I just meant, I’m sorry for not asking sooner. So, I can be there for you if you need it.”

Christ. Why did he have to be so goddamned kind?

Viktor’s eyes softened, a rush of emotion swirling through him. This was the first time in a long time he had found a friend, especially in someone as unlikely as Jayce. Who knew—maybe something more. He forgot what it felt like.

“Dork,” Viktor smirked, rolling his eyes playfully. For someone as nosy as Jayce, Viktor found himself quite forgiving of that fact. He, unfortunately, had developed a soft spot for him. “I should apologize for the other night. The kiss—” his voice dropped low, almost too low for Jayce to catch it. He heard.

“It’s okay,” Jayce perked up, following suit and pushing back his goggles. Viktor hadn’t looked over at him; instead, he was now focused on cleaning, and he was thankful for that. His bright red skin was a telltale sign that the kiss still had quite the effect on him.

It kept him up for hours Saturday night. And the night before. The only reason he had been dragging his feet all day and would rather go home instead of practice. It took over his entire being. Made him wonder what it would be like if Viktor hadn’t turned away, if they took it to the car. Maybe to a bed.

“You were drunk,” Jayce clawed his way out of his thoughts, fingers tapping the surface of the table. “I didn’t mind—”

“Let’s just forget about it,” Viktor spoke, crinkling his nose slightly as he settled his attention on Jayce. “Okay?”

Both fell silent, mulling it over.

“Yeah, okay,” Jayce nodded and smiled, relief flooding through him. Then, a growing sense of disappointment. For the sake of the bet and their friendship, he decided to go with whatever flow Viktor put forward. If that meant forgetting about it, then forget about it he would—even if it pained him.

Viktor, too, felt growing regret in his stomach, but he persevered past it. There was nothing good to come from pursuing the electrifying spark that had grown between them. Nothing good ever came from love. Look what happened to Dr. Reveck.

He didn’t want the disappointment that came with the only guarantee of their relationship: an end.

“Go hand this in,” Viktor shoved the paper to Jayce over the tabletop. Amber eyes settled on the mess of words, drifting up to meet those golden hazel orbs that caused a spike in his heart rate. Within seconds, he felt his hands grow clammy. Mouth dry.

Jayce smiled. That goddamned toothy smile that would surely make anyone’s knees weak.

“You’re bossy today,” the taller boy remarked as he easily slid from his stool to turn in the paper. Viktor, instead, ignored every sparking nerve in his body and cleaned up faster than anyone else ever had.

The sound of the bell rang, signifying the end of the day. A joyous reprieve from the torture that was Piltover High, and the students rushed to their lockers as Jayce and Viktor slowly pushed through the crowds side by side.

“Hey, Jayce,” a junior girl spoke up as she passed by the duo, her blue eyes landing on Viktor. “Oh, hey, Viktor!” She beamed, and it hit him like a ton of bricks.

As they walked down the wide hallway, Viktor’s eyes flickered around the chaos of students. He’d been so good at ignoring anyone who wasn’t Sky that he hadn’t noticed how every single person who greeted Jayce had offered him one, too. He perked up slightly, hand tighter around his cane that tapped against the worn tiling.

Students were noticing him—and not being Grade A Douchebags about it. They were kind. Too kind.

“Viktor!” A girl perked up as she held her textbooks to her chest, chocolate brown hair curling perfectly around her sharp features. She grinned, stopping Jayce and Viktor in their tracks, who had hardly made it more than three classrooms' lengths away from the chemistry lab.

He blinked, eyes focusing on the girl. Someone who ran around in Jayce’s circle—a close friend to Mel and part of the cheerleading team.

“Lest,” Viktor murmured, crinkling his nose when he realized he’d never properly introduced himself to her. Would she find it weird that he knew her name?

While his mind ran rampant, the girl grinned. Her smile was cat-like.

“You really should come to another party this weekend,” she said, eyes not even once looking over at Jayce. Invites were a thing of his past—oftentimes, he was just expected to show up. “Everyone wants to get to know you. Jayce can bring you…” she trailed off, giving him a slight nod before she brushed past him.

Viktor blinked a few times, looking up at Jayce. He was rightly shut up.

Again, that stupid smile and laugh. A deathly combo.

“You’re getting popular,” Jayce spoke through gentle laughter. Perhaps he took it a bit too far, but he couldn’t stop the way his arm latched over Viktor’s slender shoulders and had begun to tug him forward, “She’s right, you totally should come. Don’t go crawling back inside your shell after such a good weekend, dude.”

Viktor stumbled on his footing, but managed to stay upright as he followed next to Jayce. All he could do was nod.

He should’ve said no. He should’ve told Jayce that this was it and that whatever was going on needed to stop and that he wanted to go back to the way it was—but he didn’t. He said yes to the party, and yes to the ride home.

And that’s how he found himself sitting on the empty bleachers as the football team practiced, waiting for Jayce to finish so he could drive him home.

A bony hand held a pencil to a page, scribbling down notes from an earlier class he needed to jot down before they left his mind. Then, on another page, ideas for the next game they were planning for this upcoming week.

The sound of a whistle startled him from his deep thoughts, and he looked up. Squinting his eyes to work past the somewhat blurred vision that could really use a visit to the optometrist.

His eyes landed on Jayce, and his heart stopped.

The quarterback tore off his helmet, tongue slipping out from between his lips to lick at the blue mouth guard on his upper teeth. His hair was wet, sticking to his forehead, and he smiled—god, he smiled. The stupid mouthguard made his grin lopsided, and he looked oh-so beautiful as his eyes drifted towards the bleachers and landed right on Viktor.

Jayce beamed, his arm lifting and shifting the shoulder plates he wore as he waved at Viktor, who watched as Jayce’s jersey rode up his bicep, muscles flexing.

Viktor watched, and he smiled. A smile that reached his eyes.

He gave back an awkward half-wave and decided then, albeit stupidly, that he was going to ignore the flashing warning signs that he had put up in his mind. He tore them down, threw them away and allowed his heart to soar wildly—all because of him.

A/N - Wow, thank you for your patience. It was a long time coming, and a huge thank you if you are still sticking around and reading this. I can't promise that this will wrap up quickly, but I'll do my best. :)

#jayvik #jayvik fanfic #jayvik fic #viktor x jayce #jayce x viktor #jayce talis x viktor #jayce talis fic #viktor arcane #viktor fanfic #jayce talis #jayce arcane #arcane viktor #arcane jayvik #arcane #wordsbyspatial #spatial fic: v's all that

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thatgayunoriginalbastard · 2 days ago

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Random T4T Sharpwolf Idea

(Note: this is also following the Nice!Suitors AU)

Telemachus figured out that he didn't like being a girl fairly early in life but didn't think it was anything strange until he was around his early teenage years and he learned more about Penelope's childhood and life and he talked about his feelings around girlhood, pulling the whole "but I mean every girl wishes they're a guy sometimes, right?" only to be met with a resounding "no" from Penelope and the two of them got to spend a bit of time working together to figure things out and, thanks to Penelope's protectiveness making it so she didn't let him out much it wasn't like too much would be impacted when the princess was suddenly a prince instead

Antinous was the oldest of a lot of sisters and was raised in a pretty strict household, especially after his mom died in childbirth and was basically more of a replacement parent than anything so he didn't think about himself much outside of wanting to impress/please his father, often lamenting about how if he was born male it'd be so much easier because he's never liked any of the female stuff he and all his siters had to do but he always thought that that was just because of his relationship with his father and the fact that he just generally would fantasize about what it would be like to be a boy was totally not related to anything, at least until his sisters started getting married off, becoming priestesses, or running away to get away from their father and one of them who had heard him talking about wishing he was a guy subtly gave him the suggestion of leaving, pretending to be a guy, and then doing something that would impress their father which Antinous thought was a great idea and he left to do, not thinking any deeper about how much the idea of "pretending" to be a guy excited him outside of some plan to make his father proud

Telemachus didn't really have many options for any physical transitioning and mostly just socially transitioned, bound his chest, and did whatever voice training he could, occasionally using makeup to make his features look less sharp but only during events or when visitors were over

Antinous went kinda extreme in "acting" like a guy even though he had been viewed as fairly masculine for a girl pretty much his whole life (he told himself it was just because he wanted to be more like his father and wanted to make him happy, ignoring that his father hated how much he sucked at being traditionally feminine and damaging his chances at getting married, though he did fuck around with many people) as when he got further into Ithaca closer to the palace to try and find something great he could do he found that looking the way he did most quickly figured out his sex so he gave himself top surgery and that act was extreme enough that it actually got the attention of a god (still undecided who) and they taught him how to find a plant that's basically magic plant HRT and over the course of a few years so long as he was clothed nobody would be able to guess that he wasn't born male and he's finally hit the point where he's wondering if maybe he wanted to be a guy for reasons outside of parental approval because he's realizing he likes being a man way more than he ever did a woman

The suitors start showing up at the palace and Telemachus starts doing the makeup constantly and takes extreme care to make sure that nobody figures out his birth sex so they won't try to use him to replace Penelope as that's something some of the suitors have threatened even without knowing his anatomy

Antinous decides to be a suitor because he wants to accomplish something both for the sake of proving himself to his father without doing any of the things his father wanted of him and also because, you know, the perks, and he blends in pretty well with the other suitors, kinda just going with the vibes so he doesn't stick out and so he can be the kind of man he thinks is normal from the kind of men the aggressive suitors and his father are

After a couple years of the very aggressive suitors being around, some start giving up and the nicer suitors also do what they can to get more out, a chunk of them sticking around for the purposes of protecting the royal family, though some (like Antinous) also stick around to avoid the risks of the social shame of giving up

Antinous is still an asshole but not so much of one that the others try to get him out (though he does also have the help of being friends-with-benefits with Eurymachus, the only one in the palace who knows he's trans) and he has an antagonistic relationship with Telemachus, but it never goes too far and Antinous finds himself being more and more drawn to the prince, though he knows he can't do anything about it because there's no way the prince of Ithaca would ever so much as think about sleeping with him, much less have attraction towards him and even if he did he wouldn't after finding out he's "not a real man"

Telemachus still stays vigilant in hiding his sex even when the worse suitors are gone and while he tells himself he hates Antinous, they do have some nice moments together and their rivalry slowly becomes more friendly and lighthearted than anything, though he denies that there's any attraction towards the suitor because he thinks he has to hate him for being a suitor and even if he did like him it's not like Antinous would ever want to be with him after finding out about his sex or worse would no longer view him as a man, making him someone Telemachus wouldn't want to be with

Unfortunately for both of them, they only get closer over time even as they deny their feelings until one day when there's something happening at the castle and they both end up tipsy for one reason or another, they end up making out, though Telemachus stops things just before Antinous can get close to feeling his bindings

After a bit of avoiding each other they talk, are able to recognize their feelings, but Telemachus insists on taking things slow, especially with physical stuff, and Antinous is fine with that

Penelope is supportive of the relationship and when Odysseus returns the other suitors leave and Antinous just lives in town nearby (I'm undecided if the siren still guessed Odysseus had a daughter and was "correct" and when Ody gets home he realizes the siren was wrong about that too or if the siren guesses Ody has a son, Ody is like "my real wife knows I don't have a son", then gets home and finds out that he does, in fact, have a son; both options are funny and either way Ody is fully supportive even if it wasn't what he was expecting to come home to after 20 years)

Antinous and Telemachus date for a while and things start getting more and more physical, all the while both parties are trying to figure out how to tell their partner about their biological sex having no idea that they're both trans

One night things are particularly spicy and it seems like they're going to lead to sex when Antinous actually stops Telemachus and takes a moment to explain his whole situation, being met with a pause that he thinks will be rejection when instead Telemachus explains his own stuff and after a pause Antinous asks him if he still wants to have sex, Telemachus admits that he doesn't really know how they would, and Antinous is able to pull out all the stops with seduction and teasing and stuff and they fuck and it's great (maybe even having something like Antinous actually trusting Telemachus enough and feeling comfortable enough around him that he lets him go down on him)

#this was totally not just an excuse to iron out this scenarios background before i make it a oneshot #epic the musical #telemachus #antinous #sharpwolf #antimachus #trans!telemachus #trans!antinous #smut writing #fanfic writing

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enkays-den · 2 days ago

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Me again

Saw you reblog some xB stuff a few days ago and wanted to know if you could tell me more about him. For some odd reason he and Hypno are the only two Hermits I can't even half nail down no matter how much I watch either

uhhhh honestly I don't know too much about him either, but here's the basics that I DO know:

the reason he's so associated with guardians is that he's drained like,,,,, a dozen guardian temples over the seasons or something like that. It's just something he enjoys doing. I don't know if his current skin was made to reflect that or it's a happy coincidence, probably the former.

his girlfriend/partner is Ferks aka F1RECRACKR, a youtuber and a twitch streamer in her own right! She's not active these days presumably because of a day job

if you've ever seen him shown with a white dog, that's his pet Bishop, who sadly passed away last year

his most bestest bud on the server is keralis! imo they're the most loyal pair on the server, beating even imp and skizz, just because of how much they like to include each other in their videos. I think that impulse and skizz intentionally interact a little less BECAUSE it's expected of them and they already hang out so much irl anyways. but yeah these two are,,,,,,, weird about each other and we love them for it

in terms of personality, he seem incredibly patient, calm, but isn't afraid to deliver some insane zingers. He's a great player of the game, look at how long it took for him to die in Demise, and his builds are awesome, just like every other hermit,

he's got the cutest little chuckle/giggle! keralis is the one to trigger them the most, because they hang out so much. cause know,,,,,, normal guys.

Unfortunately don't know that much about Hypno, I've been meaning to watch the Horse Head Farms stuff, which features both of them!

#ask #xbcrafted #hermitcraft #mcyt #hypnotizd

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the-sick-habit · 3 days ago

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Statistically Speaking, I Think I'm Fucked

Modern AU | Ellie x Fem!Reader | College setting | On a journal

What's Up by 4 Non Blondes

Chp 3: "i just really like jumping into it, i guess"

Thursday, August 28 Bio Lab

So I haven’t texted Riley back yet, but I will once class is over. I haven’t even told anyone about it, and don’t plan to honestly. I already know what they’re gonna say, because that’s exactly what my brain is telling me, too.

I don’t know, I’m just worried that she’ll bring up the past or something. Or that she’ll do some grand gesture thinking that it’s gonna revert everything back to normal. I mean, it would make sense, because I used to let her do that bullshit to me. Hope it doesn’t happen again.

Fuck. So much for time heals.

Later, Bio Lab still

I’m thinking maybe I can just hang out with her. Stay outside on the porch or in the kitchen.

Later, later still the same, during our fifteen minute break

Library girl is here, still can’t write down her name.

Don’t get it twisted, I KNOW how to spell it…unless her parents are like, name connoisseurs (I had to look this up) or something. It just feels a little too personal, y’know? Or you don’t, ‘cause you’re just a piece of paper. Anyways.

We’re partnering up this time. I’m paired up with this dude that definitely shoots bears and looks like his boots curl in on themselves, Paul. Kind of alright, a little weird. Gets along great with the others. But I don’t know. He’s a little weird, he giggles a lot.

As if I’m not weird, too.

Later, later Bio Lab at the table trying not to stare

Alright, the last entry was a little off. I’m fucking staring at her. God.

I texted Riley back, even though I feel like my heart is gonna rip out of my fucking chest. Why am I doing this?? It’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not every day that the person you thought you were gonna spend your life with leaves you like you’re nothing.

Can’t even tell Dina, she’s gonna kill me.

Still the same godforsaken day In my dorm, trying not to change into different clothes

Before I even go out, let me just write down some things as a gentle reminder.

She left and fucked me UP

GHOSTED ME

Is acting like things are okay

What the fuck am I doing?!

I told library girl that I’ll see her at the study session today, and she waved at me and said, “See you there.” like she wholeheartedly believed me.

Maybe Riley will apologize this time.

Sometime today, or tonight, whenever In my truck, can’t get out yet

I fucking knew it. I knew it was a bad fucking idea. I’m so fucking stupid. She did it again. And this time tried to make it seem like it was MY problem, and even dragged Dina into this. Which – surprise surprise – gives me this sick feeling in my gut.

Why??? Why would I think it’d be okay again???

What the hell did I expect??? Fuck!!!

I forgot Dina could see my location, but she couldn’t guess that I was with Riley in her stupid fucking house. And I can’t lie to her, I can’t say shit. So I just told her I got busy. She’s gonna clock that so fast but I can’t care right now.

Riley’s texting me, she’s saying she didn’t mean for it to come out like that??!?! Didn’t even WRITE sorry!! Okay, great fucking timing ASSHOLE!! I’m so fucking done with this, with this town, with everything, I just need to LEAVE, it’s too much and now I’m

Friday, August 29 Too fucking early for the night I had

Didn't finish last entry. Whatever. I woke up to, like, two messages form Dina and a handful from Riley. There’s one from Cat.

And then Jessie’s dumbass asked me if I had an extra pencil. We don’t even have the same class to be exchanging goods like that. And he texted me that at FOUR IN THE MORNING.

Yeah, definitely waking up and answering that question diligently after the cry I had.

My fucking head hurts.

Later, Physics Lecture

Cat actually sat next to me this time, she came in after I did. It was kinda nice. I was answering her text when she did, she’d told me good morning and asked if I wanted to have lunch with her.

She was joking around, saying shit that made me laugh. Helped me forget. Cat’s in the bathroom right now, so I’m writing as fast as I can.

That’s why I hate sitting next to people that I just met—or just anyone in general. Can’t write shit in peace without worrying they’re peeking over my shoulder to see what I’m writing about.

Riley @11:23 PM “didn’t mean to make you upset ellie, promise. just thought we could talk about it.” Riley @6:21 AM “call me when you get the chance, yeah?”

See, this is the bullshit I get myself into. And it’s so dumb, if I told Dina she’d rip my head off. If I tell Sarah?! I don’t know.

I can’t deal with this right now.

Fuck, she’s is back.

Later later, In my dorm

I went to lunch with Cat after class. It was kinda nice, but I felt a little bad because I had the hardest time concentrating on what she was talking about. I think she was telling me about tattoos, how she wanted to start doing that but had no idea how.

Beats me why she was talking to me about it. But we had sandwiches and chips, the good old American lunch.

And then something EMBARRASSING happened.

“Yeah, I dunno, tattooings pretty cool. Just don’t know how I’d feel about leaving something permanent on someone. Seems kinda...sketch.” and I was just talking, letting the words flow out while I picked at my ham and cheese sandwich. And the lettuce was sad.

Cat leaned in on the table, and I looked up to see that she was giving me this small grin. And when she spoke, it was suddenly really hard to swallow my bite, “I see what you mean. But there’s just something I like about that. Being that close to someone’s skin. You wouldn’t mind if I did that to you, would you?”

And I tried to say something, then a piece of my SANDWHICH CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH.

UUUGHHH. But she just grinned at me, like it was the right answer. So, dumbass for the win?

So there was that. We ended up saying bye, and she hugged me. Didn’t know what to do, and I hated how sweaty and jittery I felt after. I guess she wants to hang out again at her dorm. Not really thinking too much about that.

But anyways.

Dina texted me, saying there’s a party that she was invited to off campus and wanted me to go. Apparently Jessie’s going too, but I had to let her down. She’s not even pushing me about where I was yesterday, which I super appreciate. So that made me feel a little bad.

I just can’t win apparently.

But I guess I’m okay to start talking about what happened. As best as I can, anyways, because that shit was a couple of hours long so we’ll see.

THE GREAT TRAGEDY (FEATURING ELLIE WILLIAMS)

I drove over to Riley’s place, where she used to live. It was crazy, because it looked the same almost. You know? Still had the flower beds up front that I’m sure her mom still tended to. One of the flowers was messed up, and it made me smile ‘cause it’s the SAME damn flower every time.

Even half a year later. And I’m sure it’s because it’s right next to the walkway.

I’ll admit, it took me a while to get out of the truck for a couple of minutes. I had parked on the side of the road for easy escape. Even when I was nervous as hell I could parallel park. My palms were sweating and shit. So lame. Kind of. Not really.

I finally got out and walked up to the house. Riley’s house. Obviously. And you know what, as soon as those stupid sprinklers came on and sprayed my jeans I knew that was just a fucking bad omen. I should have walked away, but I didn’t.

And then on the porch that scuff was still there, the one that Riley’s boot made ‘cause we were…yeah.

I had to shake it off, and my stupid hand was trembling a little when I went to go knock on the wooden door twice. And for some reason I thought about Joel, and his face, and how he’d probably be disappointed that I was here. Jesus.

BUT ANYWAYS.

I knocked on that fucking raggedy ass door. And it didn’t take much for someone to answer. It was actually her mom, and for a second I felt so awkward and lame. She seemed to do a double take when she saw me, and I felt myself shift.

“Hey, Ellie!” she exclaimed, which SURPRISED me. And I don’t know if it showed on my face.

I waved back and then stepped in, and she actually leaned in to give me a hug. Which, I guess in retrospect, was nice. And I gave her a half-assed one back, “Hey.”

“Riley!” she yelled out from the top of the stairs. “Ellie’s here!”

Don’t get me wrong, her mom knew about what was happening between Riley and me. We were really close friends. Met in middle school, were friends for a while. And then in high school we dated. Whatever. She left when we graduated, had her own life to figure out. The works. But the whole time her mom was very supportive, invited me to family events and shit.

So I walked over to the steps that led upstairs. I stayed right there while her mom talked to me, asking me what I’ve been up to and shit. She told me that I’ve grown, look better.

Didn’t know if she really meant it or she was just saying it ‘cause I’m standing at my ex’s house like an idiot.

And I tried to remind myself that she was my best friend first.

But Riley finally came down the stairs, and I tried not to look TOO nervous. But she fucking caught me. Of course she did.

She walked down lazily, her arm swinging back and forth with each step and gave me that grin that made me smile back automatically – half assed or not, “Look at you, nervous as hell.”

I scoffed, that was like my defense mechanism, “Not nervous.” And it was so LAME.

And Riley looked at me up and down and then pointed at my goddamn hands like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “You’re strangling your fingers like they owe you money.”

And fuck, that made me laugh and roll my eyes. I wanna say I put my hands back to my sides leisurely and cool, but I don’t know, “Yeah, yeah, well, I’m here.”

I didn’t expect this meeting to end up like this. I didn’t expect her to ghost me the way she did and for me to come crawling back to her as if nothing happened. What I DID expect? A more sincere Riley, an apology, an explanation.

Maybe she needed some warming up? FUCK NO.

She never once brought it up. Which is what I wanted, right?? I wanted to keep it going, get our friendship back to how it used to be. But how the hell could I want that when every word that comes out of her fucking mouth makes me hold my breath? Waiting for something that sounds remotely like remorse? I’m so fucked. I WAS so fucked.

Through the awkwardness I felt in my lungs, I sat in her room on the floor. And it was a little hard, not gonna lie. There’s a lot of memories in that place. Shit we did, shit I WANTED to do, words and actions and—

Okay let me not get all poetic about this bullshit.

It felt better knowing her mom was downstairs. I knew Riley wasn’t gonna hit me or anything, but hearing her bustling in the living room and the TV on (she still loves watching Turkish soap operas) didn’t make me feel so trapped. Like, I could concentrate on the foreign language whenever Riley said anything that made my heart race. Which was way too often.

But we talked about her life out there in Los Angeles, like it was some cool thing. And sometimes—I don’t think she mean it—it felt like she was hinting that staying in Jackson was…not the move. And that made me feel some kind of way. Like, it made me not wanna be in her room anymore.

“Yeah, I’m so glad I moved when I did.” She said, and she was fishing through her bag. The same one from her closet where we’d hide the weed. And I was eyeing it, because she gave me that stupid grin that reminded me of what we used to be.

“You gonna have some, or are you gonna leave me hanging?” she took out a joint, and I don’t know about you but I’m down for a smoke. Just not with an ex.

So why the fuck did I accept it?

Because I kept TRYING to convince myself that she’s just my friend now. But no, it’s not like that anymore. Riley isn’t my friend. She’s an ex who USED to be my best friend. I don’t fucking work that way apparently.

“Yeah, why not?” and I went to sit closer to her while she lit it up.

Like, this is a recipe for disaster. I’m so fucking glad I don’t like her anymore like that. If I had wanted to kiss her and shit, she could’ve gotten that from me. And it’s fucking crazy what happens next. Like, I don’t even want to write it but I need to REMEMBER.

That way I won’t let it happen again.

We start smoking, she cracks the window open ‘cause she forgot to do that—she’d always forget, even now. I asked her if her mom’s okay with it now, and Riley basically said her mom knows she smokes and doesn’t mind, “As long as we don’t stink up the whole house.”

And I started feeling it after the second hit. Just to clear it up, I wasn’t INHALING it. I think Riley caught on but she didn’t say anything about it. But I was getting a little fuzzy a little while.

I kept talking, ‘cause if I didn’t I thought my heart was gonna explode. And maybe I shouldn’t have kept talking. Or maybe I shouldn’t have even been there in the first place.

I think that’s when Dina texted me again, and I looked at it. I hated how she didn’t use emojis this time.

Dina: “hey, we’re at the library. just let me know ur ok.”

And I just thumbs up her message and left it at that. THAT’S when the bullshit started, ‘cause Riley noticed. Of course she’d finally bring it up when I’m fucking high, of course she would. I mean, GOD I know Dina texted me first and then she saw it, but, it’s just – this had me fucked up and still does.

“You still talk to Dina?” she asked me with that voice she has, like the one that makes you feel like you’re in trouble but it’s not obvious, so you’re just wondering if you’re imagining it. Damn, basically my whole dating relationship with her.

“Yeah.” And I couldn’t say more than that. I just stared at the carpet we were sitting on, picking at the lint. The same carpet she laid me on and…FUCK (I guess literally).

“She still confused?”

And that’s when I had to look up at her, and she had that look on her face that made my stomach drop, “What?”

It wasn’t even fair, because I was fucking high. Like she waited for me to be high to push my fucking buttons.

“Y’know, like, about what she likes.”

And I knew what she was talking about. But this time I wasn’t the same person anymore. I don’t know if she knew that. Even though I was sitting here like a dumbass, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” And I shrugged, looking back at the carpet.

That just slipped out, alright?

And she got DEFENSIVE. I could see her moving from the corner of my eyes, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make me stiffen up, “Woah, alright. Calm down Ellie.”

That pissed me the fuck off, “No, I’m calm Riley. I just said I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I could feel my hands start to shake while I moved them around, I could feel my face start to lose composure. I hated it.

It sounded like I shut her up, but then she talked again, “You know I never liked her, right?”

I HAD to look at her this time. And damn, the look she had on her face? How could it possibly make me feel any worse than what I already felt. I knew she was toying with me, but I couldn’t PROVE it. “You know what? No.” this time I glared at her.

“Why the fuck are you talking about Dina?” There. I did it, I talked back to Riley and the look on her face was so satisfying.

I don’t know if she was genuinely surprised with how I answered, or how quick I was to talk back. But I managed to make her quiet for a couple of seconds. That’s when I should’ve walked away, but then she said this. Like she knew that’s what would shut MY ass up.

“I just thought, I don’t know…that you were talking to her while I was gone. As more than friends.” Her voice was stupid soft.

I hated how that stopped me on my tracks. I was looking at her, and she had her head down, knees up. I don’t know how high she was, but all I knew was that I felt my anger leave quick as hell.

“What do you mean?”

I should’ve left, I should’ve left, I should’ve left.

She proceeds to tell me that she thought I was talking to Dina behind her back while she was in LA. Like, ROMANTICALLY. And it was like pulling fucking teeth to get her to say it. The more she pushed back the more it pissed me off. How are you gonna invite me over here, to talk about shit that should’ve been talked about when we were together?!

And why did I let her?!

ALSO, that wasn’t even something I WANTED her to talk about.

God, I was so fucking frustrated. I may have or may not have cussed her out while walking out of her room. It was so embarrassing though because her mom heard us arguing in her room, and when I opened the door she was there. Her mom had this look of concern on her face that made me feel guilty, and I’m pretty damn sure she smelled the weed, too.

The kicker?? Her mom didn’t let me go!!!

She said I was high, and to sit my ass on the couch. I’m such a bitch too, ‘cause I told her as long as Riley stayed the fuck away from me that I’d stay.

“Fuck you, Ellie!” I heard Riley yell out from the top of the stairs while I went down the stairs, holding onto the railing. Her mom stayed up there with her, and I heard these angry hisses from her that I didn’t even try to make out.

But I just didn’t care at that point. My heart was beating so fast, and I couldn’t concentrate that good because I was high and embarrassed, and I just—I was feeling shit.

I had to wait for the high to wear off for Riley’s mom to let me go. She didn’t try talking to me about anything, just gave me something to eat. Which I did begrudgingly. It was a little bowl of ice cream, the same stupid flavor Riley likes. And it’s mint chocolate chip. UGH. I don’t even like it that much.

That’s why I went to my dorm so late yesterday, too. I thought about going over to Dina’s. But decided not do.

And YEAH, alright. I cried okay?? DAMN.

But can you blame me?! No, no you can’t.

A little later once my hand stopped cramping Still in my dorm around 7-ish

I texted Dina back. Ended up telling her where I went yesterday. She hasn’t answered back, but a part of me highly doubts she was upset about it. She’s probably getting ready for that party she invited me to. Which is funny, ‘cause it’s not her party.

Also, Cat wanted to hang out this weekend so we’ll see. It’s a little too much right now. I mean, she DOES make me laugh and it’s nice talking to her. She’s cool, but not really what I wanna concentrate on right now. Especially when I still need to do my homework.

Which, actually, I have a lot of.

It’s mostly just time consuming. And who the fuck assigns discussion posts for biology?!

Oh, Dina texted back. She definitely wants a debrief. Called me a bitch for not telling her, too.

Half an hour later, Behind a bookcase like a creep

She’s here!! The library girl is here. Why am I freaking out?! It’s literally no big deal. She’s just sitting there with her little book. Just, I don’t know, doing her thing!!

And like an idiot I texted Dina.

“I came to the library to study and she’s here, what do I do?!”

“who?”

“your nursing friend!!”

“then go sit down you weirdo???!”

I’m so dumb.

Still here, A little better now, sitting across from her

I ended up sitting next to her.

She was so nice, looked up at me when I approached her with my shit. I saw a flicker of recognition go on her face before she gave me this soft smile. It made me feel more at ease when I got to the table, “Is it okay if I sit here?”

And right away she moved her stuff (thick ass book, some highlighters and flashcards) out of the way. It wasn’t even that much, she didn’t have to do it that quick. Even mumbled an apology with that little smile that I couldn’t help but smile back to.

“Nah, you’re good.” I had to tell her that, ‘cause she was acting as if SHE was intruding in my space. Which, weird, but okay.

I finally got my things ready then sat down, and we stayed like that for a bit. I didn’t expect her here, but I’m glad she is.

She’s still in front of me, in our usual seats at the table. But she’s so concentrated on her work, it’s almost like I’m not even here. Can’t believe I freaked out on Dina too. It wasn’t that bad.

Which, honestly, probably fucked me over because she just texted me again.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK?!

“don’t be a little weirdo, she’s really nice and into girls”

“and I wanna know that because?????????”

“.-.”

She’s fucking insane. But I better get back to my homework and put on some music. Being in front of her makes me wanna get my shit done. With all her clacking on her calculator and scribbles.

Still at the library, She’s gone to the restroom

You know, she’s actually pretty cool. I mean, in a ‘let my actions and looks do all the talking’ kind of cool. The quiet was a nice contrast to all the other words I just heard yesterday and earlier today.

I haven’t texted Cat back, but I think that this point she just knows I’m not a huge person on texting. I mean I’ll READ them, but, I won’t answer unless it’s super urgent. Or if you’re calling me.

But she got up from her seat when I was halfway from taking out my lab assignments for bio, and I looked at her. Didn’t mean to, but she started to talk in a hushed voice, “I’ll be right back, can you watch my stuff for me?” and then before I could say anything she quickly added, “If that’s okay.”

And I nodded, told her it was fine. I mean, I don’t feel inclined to steal her nursing books and homework. I mean, maybe her laptop, but whatever. What am I gonna find in there? Medicine shit?

I didn’t mean to peek, but I saw that she was working on some dimensional analysis stuff. Probably the same crap that Dina was stressing out about and wouldn’t listen to my advice on.

She’s back, can see her walking back.

Later, In my dorm

I’m so glad I didn’t go to that party.

Going to the library was the move for sure.

Anyways, we ended up working on the lab worksheets – which was kind of cheating, but whatever. She saw that I’d taken them out and then casually murmured something along the line of, “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” A nursing student forgetting about lab work? But she also said it as if she didn’t mean to say it out loud.

I didn’t say anything to her when she said that, which I kind of regretted. I guess that could’ve been a good moment to talk to her. She put her pen down and started to rustle through her bag, and I could hear her pens and stuff. I didn’t even MEAN to say this, but I asked her if she wanted to work on it with me.

And then she looked at me with these eyes, the ones where she seemed unsure if this was a joke or not, “Is that…allowed?”

GOD WHO THE HELL IS SHE?!

I don’t know how I looked when she asked me that. I knew I wanted to laugh, but instead I shrugged and said, “No, but why not?”

Which…is kind of what I also told Riley, but whatever.

“You won’t snitch right? ‘Cause that would suck.” I decided to tease her a little, see what she was gonna say.

“That really would, huh.” She murmured and I had to look up from my worksheet to look at her face. She looked concentrated as she looked through her worksheet. And I just HAD to ask.

“Would you?”

She looked at me, almost amused, and her eyes felt like they were boring into mine. Honestly it was hard to look away, “Now why would I do that, Ellie?” and she asked in this…I don’t know, cute tone. But it had my brain short-circuit because this is the most I’ve heard her talk.

And she sounds like this? Jesus.

I tried to laugh, but I think it just sounded like a scoff. Whether or not it did, she smiled at me and looked down at her worksheet. And I didn’t mind, because I also looked down at my own worksheet.

Fuck.

But we just filled it out. I learned a bit more about her. That she’s also in the nursing program (guessed correctly), but she’s doing her associates while Dina is doing her bachelors. She’s from Chicago, so that was interesting. Wondered why she was here, but I didn’t pry, just thought it was cool. Ended up telling her I’m actually from Boston.

And she didn’t pry either.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” That’s what she said. I think I looked confused and even taken aback because she continued talking. She almost sounded a little panicked, and I tried to keep a straight face, “It just seems like it, y’know? Like, you have that demeanor.”

“Demeanor?” I repeated that slowly, because, who USES that word? Nerds, I guess. UGH, just kidding, she’s really cool and cute.

And before she could spaz out – she looked like she thought I was condemning her – I put my hand up and this time let myself laugh a little. No harm right? “No, you’re good, I get it.” And then with a shrug I also said, “You don’t seem like the Jackson type either.”

She pressed her lips together in a thin line, like she was trying not to smile too hard and I thought it was cute, “Yeah, small towns and all.”

I snickered and felt compelled to do the same thing with my lips, “Small towns.” I agreed.

A little bit later (like late as FUCK), Still in my dorm but this time thinking about you

It’s crazy because I’ve only known you for a couple of days. Seen you around in classes and the library. And I feel lame and crazy because I’m in my dorm, feeling more right tonight than I have in all the others since I’ve been here.

But anyways, I ended up texting Riley back after I got here from the library. I don’t want to call her, so I don’t plan on doing that any time soon. Or at all. I just told her that I was sorry for…all that cussing out at her, and for the fact that her mom had to get involved in it.

And crazy thing is, she texted me back pretty quickly after that.

“it’s okay, things got intense. i came at you pretty strong. can we talk?” “i can go over this time.”

I’m definitely gonna have to talk to Dina about this. Or someone. Because I don’t know what do to. Well, I DO. I just tell her I’m done, I can’t talk to her anymore. That she keeps dragging me down this stupid hole I’m tired of climbing out of.

What would you do? You don’t seem like the type to get into crap like this.

Saturday, August 30 At Dina’s and Jessie’s late at night

They’re making me play a board game, but rustling around the kitchen for snacks right now. Might have enough time to write down the hangout I had with Cat today.

It wasn’t even that much time. Just about…okay, fuck, most of my day. But I had fun and I thought it was worth it. The sucky part is that I kept thinking about that thing with Riley. She didn’t text me back, probably waiting. Or I’m just hoping she gave up.

But anyway, I hanged out with Cat at her dorm. She sat pretty close to me, her thigh brushed against mine whenever she laughed at something I said or leaned over to tell me a story. I wasn’t used to it so of course I fucking fumbled a little. We talked a little more about what she wanted to tattoo.

After a while I got comfortable enough to let her look at my arm. She’d insisted even after I told her it wasn’t something that never interested me.

“It’d look good right here.” She murmured with a small grin, and her hands held my arm with a little more confidence that I anticipated. She turned it around, and her thumb ran along my skin.

I had to look away, ‘cause I felt this stupid heat coming up my neck and I knew I was getting red, “Mm, never really thought about it.”

And when I looked back at her, she was already looking at me. Like she has this plan in her eyes that I can’t see. Is that normal?

“You should. It’d be hot.”

I might have short-circuited right there. I tried to come up with someone normal, average, or best as a response.

I laughed and shook my head, looked down at my arm just as she turned my wrist for my palm to face upwards, “And that’s supposed to convince me.”

I think I saved face a little, until I looked at her and she turned her head upwards to look at me, “What. You need something else?”

I’m pretty sure my swallow echoed all over the room.

Did anything happen? No. It really didn’t. Because writing this shit now, it sounds like some rom-com crap. I don’t even remember how it derailed off from that moment. Just that I’m completely fucked when it comes to pretty girls.

And then the next part of the hangout, she began to draw on my arm. It wasn’t anything stupid, or little doodles here and there. She actually began to sketch out a tattoo she thought would look cool on me while we talked about class, or whatever thing that came to mind.

I let her do most of the talking, didn’t really feel up for it. But it was nice getting out of my head for a while.

Things I Learned About Cat

She has a dog back at home named Toto (funny name, I really tried not to crack up. It was too late, she smacked my arm when she realized my shoulders were shaking)

Her favorite color is green, which happens to be my favorite color too. Except hers is that weird bright one. I’m more of a deep green.

She didn’t intend to cut her hair that short, it just so happened that way because the barber misinterpreted how short she wanted it. It was already chopped before she could say anything (“Couldn’t you FEEL the scissors on your neck?” and she smacked me for that one, too.)

She went river rafting and bungee jumping with her friends last month. Which sounds fucking awesome. Gotta do that too.

Okay, where the hell are Jessie and Dina?

Author's note: Not sure if that's longer than the other ones. Not that I was keeping track necessarily. But the whole point of view thing for readers (you) I'M TRYING OKAY.

Also I know the story is slow but ummm I do slow-burn. Sorry sweaty. :/ I should probably add that to the masterlist thing.

chp 2 <- this chapter -> chp 4: ????

<3 beginning of hall of fame <3

@joonsaloe @kylorey25

<3 end of hall of fame <3

#college au #ellie williams fic #ellie williams x reader #modern au #tlou fanfiction #just give me a CHANCE

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