#she was so reassuring and supportive and while it pushed me over the edge emotionally it felt so good to be cared about in a way that wasn’t | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oftenderweapons · 3 years

Text

Steamy Waters — Jungkook

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader (nicknamed Candy)

Wordcount: 7.7k

Genre: smut, pwp; initial fluff, but don’t let that fool you; established relationship; idol!AU

Rating: 18+

Hello my fluffy ducklings, welcome to Jeongguk’s Steamy Waters 😈

I won’t even pretend there’s a plot in this. It’s just Jk, coming home from the gym and finding excuses to shower with his gf. Set almost a month after Love Talk, Jeongguk is finally ready to take a big step in his relationship with Candy, however finding the courage for the big leap is excruciating. Candy is more than willing to reward him before asking for something in return, she simply doesn’t know how much her game will cost her.

I decided I’ll keep using the nickname the nickname “Guk”, (see more in this post). Now, straight on to...

TRIGGER WARNINGS: unprotected sex within an established relationship (don’t do that unless YOU’RE TESTED AND CLEAN), mentions of therapy and mental health; sweaty jock!Jungkook, smitten!Jungkook who can’t express his emotions but IS WORKING ON IT, with a very supportive gf; I guess there’s a striptease, if you like... squint?; masturbation (female and male receiving); breast worship; period talk; very intimate love confession; foreplay under the shower (specifically mutual oral sex — aka 69 — while laying on the floor); predator/prey dynamics (namely she runs and he chases her, finds her as she tries to hide, drags her out and throws her over his shoulder); plenty of lube (lube is important and useful, let’s normalise using it); lots of degradation and objectification, name calling (fuckdoll, slut, cocksleeve, cockfairy), very multiple orgasms — like a lot; edging (both male and female receiving), begging, crying, slight humiliation. These two know all the possible variations to missionary sex (sorry not sorry); biting; slightest, most delicate face slapping and grabbing; spanking; tattoo fetish; cumplay, mentions of cum eating.

[Inspired by this look]

Here is my masterlist and check out my non-idols!AU (Partition update coming on Sat, Jan 23rd!!!)

Remember to vote for next prompt (link in bio)!

And now, enjoy ✨💜

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The entry door smashed loudly sometime around ten p.m., followed by the thud of a bag falling to the floor, Jeongguk’s heavy steps stopping as he took of his shoes.

The moment he appeared he looked unreal, with an oversized black shirt reaching his mid thigh, the sleeves exposing his forearms and part of his tattoos, his hair falling messily in wet curls over his forehead.

“Candy, babe?” He called from the entry. “I’m home!”

“Guk?” You called from the kitchen, your head peeking around the corner. He spotted you and smiled.

“What you doing there?” He said with a smile, sauntering towards you, standing at your side and placing a hand around your waist as you stood by the stove.

You turned and stood on your tiptoes, puckering your lips and closing your eyes.

He bent down and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. “I’m sorry I’m messy.” He said, close to your mouth.

“Are you fresh out of the gym?” You asked.

He nodded. “I haven’t even showered yet. I wanted to come home as soon as possible.” His fingers rubbed your side gently, trying not to tickle you. “I missed you a lot today.”

You smiled as you finished warming up his favourite post-workout snack. “I’ve already eaten. I thought you might be hungry.” You said, just as he stole the ladle and took a sip.

“Yum!” He commented, placing the utensil back in your hand. He stood behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “I wanna hug you but I’m too sweaty.” He commented as he kneeled the tense muscles of your neck.

You shook your head. “Oh, these need to be washed,” you said, referring to your outfit. “We went to a bulgogi place today and I feel like I smell so bad.”

“You haven’t showered yet?” He asked, his hands slowing down, almost stopping.

“No… I switched on the tv and there was this interesting old interview with Miyazaki and I got caught up.” You explained with a cheery tone.

“The Japanese director and artist?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You confirmed, switching off the stove and pouring a couple ladles of noodles and broth in a bowl, adding some basic decorations on top.

He paused before wrapping an arm around your waist. “Can I hug you then?” He asked gently, almost too quietly for you to hear.

Still, there was no way you wouldn’t hear his voice. Sometimes you thought you could hear his very thoughts.

“Of course you can hug me, Guk.”

His body adhered to yours without hesitation, a low moan exiting his throat as he felt you sink even deeper into him, pressing into his body, almost trying to hide into him.

“I said I missed you.” He said shyly, waiting for you to praise him as he opened up about his emotions.

You were working through it, together, trying to make him open up more, offer you more of himself, of his feelings and fears.

“I missed you too, baby. I love you.” You spoke against his chest, taking in the clean and humid scent of his skin. He always smelled so good even after working out. Especially after working out.

Your hormones did a somersault.

“Today I felt very… restless.”

That was a very specific word for his emotional vocabulary. Lately, he was getting better and better, finding new words that fit his moods appropriately. His way of speaking was always plain, in the best meaning of the term. He is simple and transparent, always using basic words with great meaning. That seemed to be his style, pure and direct, honest.

However, he was growing a lot, even emotionally. He was slowly losing the adjective “young” that people normally put before the word “man” when trying to describe him.

He is a man. And an excellent one at that. Sure, a bit naive sometimes, and still shy, but he always showed a caring, attentive side whenever you tried to speak your needs and grievances within your relationship.

“Mh… What made you feel restless today?” You asked, repeating an exercise that your psychologist always made you do when you were a teen.

“We practiced a choreo all morning. And we always messed up the same part. There’s a very difficult transition and it’s just… so difficult to end up in the right position after the passage.” He said, huffing out loudly.

You thought about his food getting cold, still you knew that if you made him eat the conversation would quite surely stop. “Anything else, baby?” You asked, kissing his breastbone.

“We had a couple interviews this afternoon. One with a radio and another one with a talk show.” He said. “I’m glad that my English is improving. Namjoon hyung said he’s proud of me and that I did a good job.”

You heard the smile in his voice.

“Even Yoongi hyung said I did a good job. And he offered me a tangerine!” He said enthusiastically.

You rubbed his back. “We’re all proud of you, baby.” You said fondly.

“Thank you.” He replied and when you looked up at his face you saw his ears flush red.

“Time to eat, Koo.” You said, pressing your hands to the sides of his head, trying to calm down the blush.

He smiled.

He looked beautiful.

On your tiptoes, you kissed the mole under his lip, shortly before he picked you up by the waist and brought you at his eye level, your arms anchoring behind his neck as he pushed his mouth to yours. “Thank you.” He said again, that feeling in his chest getting more and more urgent.

He would say it. Just… Not now.

He had plans.

He took the bowl and a spoon in his hand, the other one staying around your back, pulling you to the table with him. First he placed down the objects and then he sat, still holding your hand, tugging at it gently and making you sit across his lap.

You giggled and adjusted yourself, your forearm moving behind him and securing you to his back.

He pecked your temple and thanked for the food quickly before digging in, slurping loudly and devouring the whole meal in eager, large spoonfuls.

“No one’s stealing your food, baby, don’t eat too fast.” You said, worried as he paused for a moment, only to take a few breaths and dig in again, finishing the bowl.

He placed down the spoon and rubbed his belly, exhaling with a satisfied grin.

You smirked. “Would you like some more?”

He shook his head no. “I wanna shower.” He said, placing the spoon in the bowl and handing both to you; but before you could protest, thinking he was asking you to tidy up, he moved one arm under your knees, the other around your shoulders, picking you up bridal style.

“Guk, for goodness’ sake!” You shrieked, trying to secure yourself with one arm, the other holding the bow.

“Trust me,” He said, “I’ve got you.” He reassured you, stopping in front of the sink and helping you place the bowl down. Next, he made you sit on the counter, “I need both hands free for this,” he said, picking up the pot and covering it with its lid before placing it back inside the fridge.

He would deal with that later.

“Come here,” he called, standing between your legs and picking you up again, his hands pressed to the back of your thighs. You pushed your nose against the soft hair of his nape. “Where are we going?” You asked, curious.

“Shower.” He said, reaching the room and placing you down near the sink in the dim light coming in from the window. He looked at the saffron gleam of the streetlights landing on the floor, cutting a thin, long stripe landing at your feet.

He took a step forward and stood in it, his black shirt immediately absorbing the light with a curious pattern of shadows that seemed to offer small outlines of the taut, solid muscles underneath.

Jeongguk stood there, fascinated with the way you looked at him, almost ready to hide his face in his hands before you traced the line of his collarbone, then up his throat, until you reached the deep darkness enshrouding his mouth.

“Would you take off your shirt?” You asked, cupping his jaw.

He nodded. “In a second.” He said, staring some more.

He would have never believed he looked at you the same way you looked at him, weren’t it for the picture that had become his new desktop wallpaper a few hours ago. Jin had sent him a picture of the night Jungkook had introduced you to the boys, a week after the two of you had reunited. In the picture, you were talking with Jimin and Taehyung, the older leaning into you as he laughed hysterically while the younger looked at you like you had hung the very stars in the sky. Sitting on the sofa, you glanced up at Jeongguk as he stood behind you with his hands on your shoulders, a large grin on his face and the warmest feeling glittering in his eyes, his ears bright as your own lips opened up in a soft smile.

And now he stood in front of you and you were gorgeous. And he felt so in love.

So desperate to touch you.

But you looked like a vision, a mirage ready to disappear like his unsteady feelings; like that ugly, lying voice could come up any moment and make his doubt you and himself, making him believe that he was incapable of understanding true love, that he had been fooled once and it was sweet like this at the beginning until all there was left was barren land and bitter dust.

He took off his shirt. You moved away the hand on his face before you got tangled up, giving him space until his naked torso was right in front of you.

“You’ve been getting skinnier.” You said, placing your hands on his pectorals. “You’ve lost weight?” You asked, cupping his face again.

“It’s why I’m exercising. It was hard to keep a routine while I was gone.” He explained, placing his hands around your wrists and pushing them down. “Am I not strong enough? Fit enough?” He asked once your hands were resting on his pectorals.

Your thumbs circled his nipples, making them harden immediately. “No, baby.” You argued, a bit disappointed. “I’m saying I wouldn’t mind if you slowed down with the gym and ate a tiny bit more.” You replied. “I love you. I don’t care about your looks, but you’re all bones and muscles. I don’t mind the flesh.” You said, pinching his belly and finding only skin between your fingers. “I’m saying I don’t want you to be so hard on yourself.” You explained before your hands travelled to the ribbon of his sweats.

“You want me to put on some weight?” He asked, incredulous.

“I just want you to be healthy and eat enough food to match your workouts, and do anything you want with your body without feeling pressured. True Army will love you with or without abs.” You raked your nails across his taut abdomen. “And I don’t care as long as I get to touch you like this. Or kiss you here.” You said, following the shape of his cock with a finger.

He smiled and blushed — which you couldn’t see, considering the dark room. What you did feel was his sex twitching and hardening some more. He moaned weakly, his head falling forward and landing on your shoulder. “You mean you care only about blowing me?” He asked, his hips pushing against your palm, his hair tickling your neck and ear, making you arch away from his sinfully messy mop of hair.

You cupped him from over his sweats, massaging him slowly, gently. “Let’s say it’s a pretty important factor in our relationship.” You joked, nuzzling your nose against his head.

“Mh...” He commented meditatively. “How important compared to your love for me?” He asked, mouthing at the underside of your jaw, chuckling and teasing it with the vibrations of his voice clad in a deep rumble and the thick, teasing accent of his dialect.

“Mh… they’re neck and neck for factor number one.” You teased back, tracing his happy trail with your index finger.

“Neck and neck, you say...” He mused, nipping at your throat harshly, making you gasp. “Let’s see what happens if I take it away from you.” He wondered as he took a step away, out of your grasp.

You tried to keep touching him until he was too far for you to reach.

“Hands to yourself, babe.” He scolded as you licked your lips, looking at him as he switched on the soft led from the shower, lowering it to a soft dark red. “Promise me you’ll keep your naughty fingers at bay.” He asked, taking one step toward you.

You nodded eagerly, “I promise. Please.” You begged, placing your palms flat on your thighs and waiting for him to come closer. Once more he stood between your legs, his hands catching your wrists and bringing your arms behind your back, indirectly making your spine arch forward and push your breasts up.

He stared unashamed at your curves, barely visible over the large cotton blouse. “Keep your hands there.” He said, his fingers starting at your buttons. “My turn.” He said, undoing enough buttons to reach the lower hem of your bra, his hands sliding into the opening and cupping your breast from the lower, outer part, pressing them together and planting his face right in the crevasse, making you laugh at the drastic way he dove in.

“You good there, Guk?”

He nodded simply. “God, if you’re listening, this is a good moment to die.” He commented gingerly. “Let my girlfriend’s tits be the last thing I see before I pass.” He went on. “Amen.”

The laughter overtook you, your whole body wiggling with giggles. “Admit it, you love my tits way more than you love me.” You said before realising that the joke didn’t work both ways: even though you had confessed your feelings, he hadn’t done so with an actual declaration yet.

“Neck and neck.” He replied, letting his feelings implicitly show with ambiguous confessions.

He drew the upper curve of each breast with small kisses while his fingers worked the buttons left. The moment he reached the last one, he undid it and raised his head, looking you in the eye for the longest, slowest seconds in the history of the universe. His lips collided with yours, pressure building and building until you separated, galaxies of feelings and sensations blooming in both of you.

His hands pushed the blouse off your shoulders, letting it slide to your wrists. Next, he moved the straps of your bra off your shoulders kissing the slope of your neck and collarbone slowly and leisurely on the left side, before turning to the other side and parting his lips, letting half an inch of his tongue hang from his mouth and trace the ridge of your collarbone, his fingers undoing the clasp of your bra. The garment slid lower, your breasts heavier now without the support of the small cage. “Are they sore?” He asked, kissing you under your ear before moving his hands to your forearms, freeing you from the shirt.

“A bit. It was hot outside today.” You paused. “And my period’s close.” You added, hoping he didn’t get embarrassed by the small statement.

He stayed silent for half a minute. “How close?” He asked, moving your arm to your front so he could remove one strap, then focusing on the other one, baring your torso completely.

“It should be… four or five days away.” You said after making a quick count.

He nodded before cupping your face and kissing your mouth. “Do you need me to stock anything in the house?” He asked, parting from your face and looking you in the eye? “Sanitary products, comfort food, anything?” He asked, his gaze so soft and caring you felt a string of your heart snap and break.

“I have those at home.” You said, combing his hair away from his face, the red light making his eyes even more intense, his lips even more tempting.

“You won’t be here on the weekend?” He asked, suddenly hesitant. “I know we met today because I called you and normally you prefer staying at your place on weekdays and coming over for the weekend; but I thought that meeting today wouldn’t mean I wouldn’t have the weekend.” He said, confused and a little bit sad. Even with the dim lights you could see the disappointed look on his face.

“I thought that since I had my per—”

“It’s not like I wouldn’t want to cuddle and sleep with you. You know I—” love you. “I don’t want only sex.” He said, frowning.

You noticed he grew increasingly upset, his teeth torturing his lower lip.

Can’t you just fucking say it, Jeon Jeongguk, for goodness’ sake! His brain snapped at him, but his heart stayed guarded and wary.

“Come here.” You said, opening your arms, and letting him barricade himself into your embrace, your chest hot against his, the late summer night making both your and his skin clammy. “I know you care about me.” You said, your hand sliding into the long locks of his nape. “I’m not used to this, Guk. You know how we did this before you left.”

“This is not before I left. This is now.” He said, his voice so insecure. “I want everything. The cuddles and the sex and the feelings and… all of it. I want to be there for you. Always.” He said, raising up, towering over you as hegave up on the protection of your arms and offered you the safety of his own. “I want you to count on me. To trust me and tell me when something’s wrong. I want to support you and protect you.” He said, more and more determined. “I want to be the one you want when you had a stressful day and you need to talk. I want your problems too, ____. I want the ugly bits too. I don’t want you to choose the parts that you think I can handle and offer those alone.” He patted your head before making you look at him. “I want everything, Candy. Every damn thing, baby. The good, the bad and the in between.” He bent to your ear and closed his eyes, leaning into you, pressing his forehead to your temple. “Will you let me be there for you, baby, please?” He asked, begging, holding the crown of your head with one hand and your waist with the other.

You nodded, almost too emotional. “Yes.” You replied simply before he pressed you to his chest, where his heart beat so loud you thought he would get a heart attack.

He placed both hands on your waist lifting you off the counter and placing you with your feet on the floor. “Take off your trousers and panties, Candy.” He spoke softly as he watched your hands slide down your sides dragging the garments all the way to your ankles before stepping out of them. He placed them in the basket with the dirty laundry.

“Your sweats,” you said, trying to reach for the waistband.

“No,” he said, getting undressed by himself.

Just like that, you stood naked in front of each other, his eyes focused on your face, your gaze laced with his.

“You're so beautiful.” He whispered, cupping the side of your neck before letting his hand skim your chest, the plumpness on your breast, the sensitive curve of your waist, his palm stopping at your hip before his fingers sunk into your flesh, his eyes following his hand with unbreakable focus.

Gently, he tugged you toward the shower, making you stop before entering. “Let me get the temperature right.” He said, opening the tap and waiting a little before the water turned warm. You stared at him as he tested the spray and dove under, small rivulets rolling down his body, following the curve of his back, drenching his hair and rolling down his cheeks as he rubbed his face with his hands.

“Come, babe.” Jeongguk said, stretching his hand toward you.

Biting your lip, you took a few steps before he moved out of the spray, hugging you before he took a small step back, your and his body both under the water. You simply pressed your mouth to the base of his throat while his hands made sure that your hair got properly wet before he could wash them.

Your hands moved down his back, from his shoulder blades to the small of his back, until you managed to reach the full roundness of his ass, massaging it slowly, comfortably.

He snickered. “Are you comfy there?” He asked, just as his hands reached your own ass and squeezed it. “Does that feel good?”

You nodded, the sound of the water drowning your small moan. “Let me.” You said, turning around and rubbing at your hair, making sure it was soaked.

His hands followed the curves of your body capturing your heavy breasts in his palms. He took a deep breath before he stretched to reach his body wash, pouring some in his palm and foaming it up before spreading it over your skin, the scent of his soap filling the space.

The lights were making it even more intimate, with the red-to-black spectrum tinging the experience in a variety of tones of eroticism. First and foremost, the mildest but most difficult of them all: intimacy.

Jeongguk placed his hands on your waist, making you turn around. You were there, with your hair pushed back, your beautiful face completely exposed to his observing stare. He couldn’t hold your gaze.

He poured more shower gel on his palm and after it turned into a small handful of bubbles he bent down and divided it between his hands, bending down and washing your legs, until he knelt, washing your feet.

“Guk.” You called shyly.

He hummed in reply, just as he took a gentler soap meant for your intimate parts. He pumped a dollop on his hand and foamed it briskly before cupping your vulva delicately, focusing on the simple, affectionate task at hand, making sure to spread your labia as you parted your legs slightly to let him have access. He rubbed the palm slowly, lightly against your skin, not sparing the back, in between your ass cheeks, waiting for the water to rinse his hands and clean you fully.

He felt ready.

His hands cupped your hips, holding tight without his fingers digging in, all the pressure focused on his palms.

He kissed your belly button.

“I love you.” He almost whispered.

You were far too lost in sensations to be sure that he had actually said what you thought you had heard.

“What?” You asked, looking down at him.

He delivered another small kiss on your tummy and looked up. “I love you, ____.” He said, before smiling timidly.

“You love me?” You asked, incredulous.

“Yes. I love you, Candy. A whole damn lot.” He said, kissing a straight line from your belly to your pubic bone, stopping there. “I wanna… Can I… Can I taste you?” He asked, waiting on his knees, removing his hands and mouth from you, letting you choose freely.

You looked at him before your mouth opened in the happiest, widest smile you had ever given him. “I love you, you know that, right?” You told him, touching his face, combing his hair back.

He nodded. “I love you too.” He said, and the more he said that, the more his body felt how right, how true it was.

“You wanna eat me out?” You asked as he nodded furiously.

You lifted a leg, ready to place it on his shoulder when he sat on his hip, then turned with his back to you, laying flat on the floor, his head away from the water spray.

Your brow furrowed before he tucked his elbows next to his torso, his hands close to his face before he grinned and wiggled his fingers in a “come forth” motion.

“Uhm…” You wondered, confused for a brief moment, trying to understand if he really meant for you to ride his face, especially since you were both still trying to understand the whole cunnilingus discourse.

“Sit on my face?” He asked, his cheeks blushing — which fortunately you couldn’t see with the current lighting, he considered.

Your eyebrows shot up. “You sure?” You asked.

“Pretty sure, yes. If you want to, of course.” He replied.

Slowly you lowered yourself to your knees, his hands circling your waist and heading up, up, until he met your breasts, before heading down again, fixing your hips right against his lips.

“I’m gonna start now, Candy.” He warned you, “you can ask me to stop whenever you want to, baby.”

“Wait!” You called. “Is it okay if I blow you?” You asked, pretty sure that it would be good for your mind space if you dedicated yourself to his pleasure, easing the mental pressure you felt whenever someone went down on you. After all, Jeongguk had been the first to make you cum during oral sex, and even with him sometimes you struggled reaching your high.

“You want to sixty-nine?” He asked, trying to comfort you by lacing his fingers with yours.

“I wanna try?” You asked. “Maybe it all works better if I’m not thinking about it too much. I could use a…distraction?” You explained, doubtful.

“Okay, let’s give this a go.” He replied, completely oblivious that the simple movements of his mouth as he spoke against your crotch were making your hole drip in wetness.

“Okay then!” You slowly lowered yourself on your elbows, his lips going on a slow side-to-side motion before he opened his mouth, his upper lip pressing against your entrance while his lower one met the sensitive nerve endings of your clit, making you moan just as his tip entered your mouth, your hand cupping his balls and sliding upwards, until you could grip him as comfortably as you could.

He released a heavy breath, the hot air meeting the raw skin of your slit. Just as his tongue made its way between your labia, you bobbed your head a couple times, making him moan loudly, which made you moan in return.

The whole situation turned into a game where the more you received, the more you gave.

As you started sucking him, creating a vacuum effect with your cheeks, his hands gripped your ass, his lips wrapping around your left labium, pumping it with his cheeks into his mouth, just past his teeth, that grazed it perfectly, alternating the softness of his lips and tongue with the hard edge of his teeth, making blood pool in the sensitive tissue. Meanwhile, on his lap, you were drooling all over him, pumping him with your fist as you started losing focus. “Guk.” You called.

He simply hummed and switched to the other side.

Yes, he was dedicated like that.

“Gu— Oh, yes, love, like that, baby, just like that.” You said as you felt his hands direct your hips in a grinding motion, your mouth returning between his legs out of sheer gratitude.

He moaned again, his eyelids fluttering with pleasure as you pushed his soft head to the back of your mouth, bobbing your head a few times before your hand started fondling his balls with your palm, twisting your wrist and using the pad of your thumb to tease the delicate spot between his balls and his anus.

He released your labium. “Candy. Fuck, baby, yeah, that a… I— I really like your finger there, baby.” He said, swallowing loudly before flicking the tip of his tongue repeatedly against your clit, spanking your ass brusquely before he gave a few strong pumps to your most sensitive spot.

You released his cock, letting it snap back to his belly and speaking against his shaft. “Please… Guk. Too good, love—” Your hips began to gyrate on him, his hands leading you, keeping your movements controlled so that he didn’t lose his grip between your legs. Holding his tongue rigid and still, he pushed the tip to the underside of your clit, dragging it up and exposing the most sensitive nerves, usually protected by the hood and way too sensitive for direct stimulation. Which is exactly why after two minutes your body stilled before starting to shake uncontrollably with effort, your whole universe silent, holding its breath before your lips opened in a high pitched, incoherent cry that announced your orgasm and predicted your reckless, ruthless movements on top of Jeongguk.

He took everything in.

Every small thing.

He kept moving his tongue even as it cramped, slapping your ass shamelessly, violently, spurring you into a wilder, more desperate pace as you — completely oblivious to your raw knees — rode him with a passion, pulling him into your mouth once more to quiet down your moans.

You felt your legs shake even more as his hips started pushing into your mouth, his long hums turning into short, deep groans and whimpers.

Just as you felt his balls tighten, you drew away, making him whine and arch his hips toward you.

“Please…” He called, his voice so, so miserable and pleading.

“You want your orgasm?” You asked, voice sultry.

You precisely knew what you wanted. And you had very clear plans on how to get it just right.

You looked right in front of you, at the small bathroom carpet laying just outside the shower, ready for you to dry your feet. Your escape route was bright and clear in front of your eyes.

“Does it feel nice?” You asked, un-straddling his face, acting as if you had each and every intention to bring him to the very edge and watch him dissolve.

“Please, Candy...” He cried, his hips undulating hypnotically.

“You wanna cum?” You cooed cutely.

He nodded eagerly. “Yeah… Please.”

You stopped. “Then come get me, bunny boy.” You grinned and stood, exiting the shower with a long step, shaking the water off your body as you rubbed your feet against the carpet a few times, before dashing for the door.

Alone, he opened his eyes and raised his head, looking around. “Candy?” He called again.

No sign.

He shook his head and stood up, his erection painful and uncomfortable as he closed the tap and walked out of the shower, drying his feet harshly as he switched off the bathroom lights and exited the room, looking around, spotting a trail of droplets on the floor.

He sneered and swore, staring at his hard on and clenching his jaw as he walked down the corridor with quick, long steps.

He found you as you tried to hide in the walk-in closet, almost sure you were unfollowed the moment you moved on all fours and tried to crawl under a lower shelf.

Jeongguk smirked, the scene disgustingly hilarious to him as he grabbed your hips and pulled you out of your hiding spot.

“That’s your plan?” He asked just as you tried to wiggle out of his grip.

His fingers dug into your waist, grabbing you even harder as he dragged you away from the shelf, where you could hit your head.

“You’re ridiculous.” He said, putting you on your feet before he turned you around and hoisted you over his shoulder, spanking you unceremoniously. “Running on wobbly legs.” He spanked you again. “Leaving a pretty trail of water leading me right here.” Another spank. “I thought I had taught you better than this.” He said, offering you some mercy and biting your leg instead of smacking your ass.

Your world was very unstable as he began walking you to his bedroom. He threw you on the mattress and switched on the led light behind the headboard. Again your view became nothing but the sultriest black and red.

“You wanted to make me angry?” He asked, looking you in the eye as he climbed on top of you, spreading your legs and sitting in between before both his arms caged your head.

His chest, wet and toned, was right before your eyes, moving with the fury of a wild beast. He grabbed your chin and led your gaze upward, into his. “I said, you wanted to make me angry?” He repeated.

You nodded.

“You wanted to make me snap?” He asked again, grabbing your face, making your lips turn into a silly pout.

You nodded once more. “I am—”

“I’ll tell you what you are.” He said, getting off you, opening his drawer and taking out a towel and a plastic bottle, which he placed on the bedside table before he lifted your legs with one arm and laid the towel down with the other.

You stayed silent as he took his time.

“You are a ridiculous little fuckdoll.” He stated clearly, no lips, no stutter, no hesitation whatsoever. “You are my dumb little fuckdoll,” he went on opening the bottle and letting a heavy amount of lube draw a line from the base to the tip as he held his cock away from his belly with his thumb and forefinger running around the glans. He spread the slick liquid with his palm, sliding it up and down as he hissed. “You always need to act like a dumb brat to make me fuck you like a slut.” The moment he leaned over you and poured some lube on your cunt too, you knew you were in for a long night. He closed the lid of the bottle but kept it nearby, in case he needed more.

You were close to your period, and once you had mentioned that you had some issues getting wet because of hormones changing. He was glad you gave him that kind of notions too. He had so much to learn still.

“You want me to fuck you hard?” He asked, spreading the wetness between your legs.

You nodded wordlessly.

“Not so wordy anymore, are we?” He said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Please, Guk.” You whimpered.

“That’s my little slut. You need to be fucked, uh?” He asked again, making you beg for him.

“Jeongguk, please.” You called again, pleading for his cock inside you.

“She even says ‘please’. Aren’t you desperate?” He asked, rubbing his tip up and down your slit.

“Yes, I’m your desperate doll. I’m begging… Please—” You whimpered, opening your legs as far as they would go.

He tutted and snarled. “Oh no. You’re not my desperate doll. You’re my desperate fuckdoll.” He said with a smirk. “Say it.”

“I’m your desperate fuckdoll.” You repeated with a thin voice.

He nodded “That’s right,” he replied, rewarding you with the tip of his cock as he swore and let it stay inside you, helping you get used to it — still, he grit his teeth, his deltoids and trapezei bulging with the effort. His tattooed hand held his cock to your entrance, covered in slick, helping you as he fed you a small inch at a time.

The moment he looked up at you, you noticed the lack of harshness in his eyes. “Are you okay, Candy?” He asked just as you hissed out a ‘yes’, closing your eyes and biting your lower lip. “Can I move?” He asked again, at which you nodded energetically. He giggled. “I love you, bae.” He concluded, making you whisper a brief ‘love you’ in reply before his bad boy persona came back into play.

“So you want it hard, uh?” He asked, feeling his cock already pulsate inside you.

“Yes, hard and fast, Guk. Please. I’m your fuckdoll. Do me like your little cocksleeve, please.” You begged, whiny and weak.

“Like my cocksleeve?” He said, rolling his hips twice before he pulled out. His hand drew away from his sex and moved to your mouth, laying there gently. “Cocksleeves don’t make a sound.” He leaned towards your ear. “So you’d better stay quiet.”

Your eyes blew wide as you bit your lip and furrowed your brow, his cock sinking in your flesh so hard that the smash echoed through every single organ inside your body.

You laid there and admired him as he fucked himself inside you, biting his lower lip and releasing it slowly, letting it roll and snap forward, past his teeth. He switched his position, leaning on his hand rather than on his elbow, arching even further, spreading his legs wider, propping his weight on his knees for better leverage, using his thighs to push your legs further apart as his eyes closed, chilly droplets of water falling on your face and your chest as he hammered into you, the tendons of his neck growing taut, his veins pulsing and growing and showing even in the dim red light.

Your high was there, right there, right…

Jeongguk roared, loud and aggressive and so, so angry that he sat on his heels and gripped your hips, shoving you on his length on and on, his hips meeting your body with loud smacks as he released inside you.

“No, no no. No, please no, please—” you begged as you felt him slow down, “So… close…” You sobbed as he stopped entirely.

He placed you down on the mattress. “Oh, no...” He said with faux compassion. “Poor cocksleeve.” He said with a sadistic grin, his smirk almost demonic in the crimson light.

He caged you with his body, his arms bulky and delicious at each side of your head, several rivulets of water — or maybe sweat — sliding down his face and chest. “Cocksleeves don’t get to cum, do they?” He asked rhetorically.

You whimpered and tried to squeeze him with your inner muscles.

“Or maybe I could be generous… Offer you another round…” He wondered, kissing your lips. “Would you like that?” He asked.

“Please. So close,” you whispered, chasing his mouth with yours.

He stretched and grabbed his pillow from the headboard, sliding an arm under your hips and lifting them up, placing the pillow right under your ass. “Do you need more lube, Candy?” He checked in on you, at which you shook your head.

“I just need you inside.” You replied miserably.

He pouted and got in position, cupping your jaw and sliding his thumb in your mouth. “Take it,” he said, his right hand pushing his cock in, only barely softened. Once he sank in and gave two tentative rolls of his hips, any sort of softness disappeared.

“Like this?” He asked, his nose curled adorably and sexily at the same time as his face scrunched at the effort of slow, deep thrusts.

You purred and shook your head. “Faster, harder… please.” You moaned before he started going even slower.

He chuckled. “What do I get in exchange for it?”

You opened your eyes and bit into his arm delicately. “Please,” you pleaded again. “I’m—” A tear rolled down your face. “It’s too good, let me cum, please, I love you. I’m your fuckdoll, Guk, please let me— I’ll be so tight around you, I’ll milk your cock so good, let me cum.”

He loved when you grew wobbly-lipped and teary-eyed. He loved seeing how desperate you always were for him, how much you depended on him for your pleasure.

He collected one of your tears with his lips, “are you crying for my cock?” He asked, wicked as usual.

You shook your head yes. “More, I’m begging you, Jeongguk. I’m begging you. I’m…” In an act of pettiness, you turned completely quiet, trying to rebel against him and his oversized ego. Self-sufficiently, your hands went to your boobs, grabbing them, pinching your nipples, sometimes climbing up to your throat and pressing against it softly.

He swatted your hand away, bending his mouth to your breast, tugging and suckling at your nipple messily, just as his arm grabbed your right knee and hooked it at his elbow, pushing your leg up, the angle so irresistible that your high finally peeked from around the corner. Still you stayed silent — mouth open, but quiet.

“Candy?” He called, curious about your sudden lack of noise.

You furrowed your brow and looked at him.

He tutted at himself. “Hard and fast?” He asked again.

You didn’t react. He rolled his hips deeper, hitting the spot you loved so much. Another tear spilled from your eye, but you proudly kept your stoic approach.

He smirked and started going faster, now that he had found the spot.

A small hiccup escaped your mouth.

“There we go, Candy.” He said, finally sure of his decision as he started pounding into you with everything he had in himself. “Touch your boobs, Candy.” He suggested as he saw you grow closer and closer. “So messy for this cock, uh? Whose is the best cock, Candy?”

“Yours.” You sobbed, your hips beginning to stutter, trying to meet his thrusts but too weak and sensitive for that.

“That’s right. You love this cock, Candy, don’t you?” He asked again.

“Only yours. I do, yes, please, Guk. Jeong— Guk, please I—” Your body thrashed against his as your orgasm finally caught you and drew you under.

Jeongguk’s head dove for your breastbone, pressing there as he tried to resist your high, currently threatening to drag him with itself.

As your climax persevered, he pushed your leg over his shoulder, picking up the other one too, sinking so deep with the new angle, his mouth kissing your calf, the inner side of your knee. “Is it good enough, baby?” He asked as he saw your eyes slowly flutter open.

Fuck, his jaw line was impeccable with that angle. “It’s perfect, Guk.”

“Nice, can you take another round, love?” He asked and damn, that nickname made you say yes, yes, ten thousand times yes with no hesitation.

He pushed his thumb in your mouth, against your tongue.

“I need to touch you.” He said, watching as his finger emerged drenched from your lips, immediately bringing it to your clit.

“Can you lift your ass?” He asked right as you obeyed, the angle so deep that he slowed down specifically to make sure he could guarantee you one more orgasm before he achieved his own.

His thumb replicated the motion of his tongue earlier in the shower, teasing the tender underside of your clit just as your eyes closed—

Too intense. Too much, you thought as your breathing slowed down again, your whole body focused on your kegels.

“Give me another… Work your magic, cockfairy.” He teased as your lips parted, your eyes flashing open before slowly, messily crossing and sliding shut again, your body too confused and overwhelmed to give a verbal reaction.

Jeongguk kept going, so, so close, his hips digging deeper with tiny rolls focused on staying in, enjoying every tight squeeze you had to offer, your hands leaving your breast as you tried to slap his hand away from your clit while his teeth began teasing your calf on one side, his deep moans unstoppable even when he turned to the other side and actually nibbled on your leg, his hand persistent in his torture.

“No. Oh god! Please. No! Oh— I need to— Yeah, yes...” You hissed as Jeongguk finally crumbled against your body and delivered the last few thrusts, deep, slow, so destructive as your head tipped back, your final high too much for your body to handle.

He looked down, where your bodies joined and with a loud growl, he came apart and spilled inside you, his cock swelling intermittently for so long he almost worried at some point. But the softness of your breasts, pillowing his head, and the warmth of your breath fanning over his head, your legs sliding off his shoulders, to his waist while your arms circled his back. “I love you, Candy. So damn much. I’m so in love with you baby.” He repeated on and on, trying to make up for each slur, each degrading word and idea he had used against you.

“I love you, baby.” He repeated again. “I love every little thing of you.” He kissed your breast — even though he truly aimed at the heart beating underneath. “I don’t want just the sex. You get it now?” He asked, nuzzling his hair against your bosom.

You caressed his head fondly.

“I get it now, of course, love.” You reassured him.

“You’ll lean on me, right? You’ll count on me?” He asked insecure, afraid at how many things he still had to learn about adult, mature relationships.

“I’ll lean on you. We’ll lean on each other.” You said, kissing his forehead as he raised his head.

“We didn’t finish the shower…” He mused, pulling out of your entrance carefully, staring as his seed dripped out of you and down your thigh.

You looked at his mesmerised expression.

He bit his lip before releasing it with a snap. “Fuck, you’re dripping.” He said before looking up.

And you don’t know if it was for the hot sight of his tattooed arm flexing, for his mop of damp long curls, for his wide, taut pectorals, for his lips glistening in drool or the dark lust in his eyes as he saw the mixture of his seed and your wetness oozing from your cunt, but you decided you were far from having enough.

“Didn’t they teach you to clean after yourself?” You teased with a cocked eyebrow.

His eyes climbed all the way to your gaze, finding the silent permission he was looking for.

And he dove for your cunt like a starving wolf.

#bangtanhq #thetruthuntoldnet #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x yn

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nothing-but-dreamy · 3 years

Text

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 7

Characters: Gavin Reed x fem!Reader; Connor; Hank Anderson;

Warnings: cursing

Words: 2.204

Sweat was running down Gavin's muscled body. He was groaning and moaning breathlessly while he enjoyed the sweet pain shooting through his lower abdomen. He was shuddering and shaking. The rhythmically moves were what he needed now. The physical interactions were what he craved for.

It was three in the morning as Gavin trained on his boxing bag until he almost collapsed. Gasping for air, he hugged the bag and slumped down on his knees. He closed his eyes violently as burning sweat was running into them. The past evening was running endlessly through his mind like a broken record or … a rollercoaster. Once again, he was tormenting himself.

…the kiss … I love you … he's nice… why him … I wish you two just all the best … Gavin, wait! …

"Fuck, damn it…", Gavin whispered. He was exhausted and not just because of the training and the lack of sleep. But rather emotionally. Like he had feared, the situation was a mess. It was a disaster. He had waited too long with admitting his feelings and now, he had lost yn to an android. Nothing was as worst as the thought that he had lost the fight about her because of Connor.

Gavin knew he would go crazy if any of this would last longer. Slowly, he opened his eyes, determined that he had to change something. He couldn't force yn to love him back. Mostly not if she had chosen someone else instead of him. But he could force himself to store away the feelings he had for her. It would need some time and it wouldn't be easy but Gavin had to do something or otherwise it would end him.

Yn wasn't able to find sleep during the last night. Everything that had happened was a bit too much and a bit too confusing. Connor. Gavin. Two guys kissing her at the same evening. Was that a prank and she just couldn’t understand the payoff of the joke? And not just that Gavin had kissed her, he also had confessed his feelings for her? Feelings she never expected him to have for her. Of course, they were working together and they had grown together as very good friends but … Gavin Reed was loving her? Her idiotic douchebag partner was loving her and she had no idea?

Then, there was what had happened during the kiss with Connor. Sure, she liked the android. He was nice, friendly, handsome but after all, he was an android. Since they got invented, she was a supporter of them. She couldn’t see them as ‘things’ like others did. She would never get one on her own but she also couldn’t imagine being with one of them. She knew herself good enough to know that she would miss something. And as Connor had kissed her, surprisingly skilled how she had to admit, something got triggered inside her. Connor kissed her but it wasn't the lips she wanted to feel on hers, she realized. As he brought her closer, it wasn't the hands she wanted to feel on her body. As yn stopped the kiss, it wasn’t the pair of eyes she wished to look into…

It was three in the morning and yn accepted the fact that sleep was something she wouldn’t find, therefore, she just stood up, took a shower and filled herself up with as much coffee as she could to get through the next few hours. She was thankful as it was time to go to work.

As she entered the DPD, she was glad to see Connor already sitting at his desk AND she was happy to see that Gavin hadn’t arrived yet. Therefore, she could talk with Connor first before she could speak with Gavin.

Connor shot up from his desk as he noticed yn coming over to him, “Good morning.”, he said with a broad smile but he also noticed that she looked tired, “Is everything okay?”, he asked concerned.

“No, if I should be honest-”

“Is it because of the kiss? Like I said, I’m sorry. It was a thoughtless reaction-”

“I know and I’m not- look, Gavin had seen us yesterday. He told me that as we met in the bar… Gavin, he wasn’t really … pleased about it-”

“Not please? What does that mean?”, Connor asked confused.

Yn felt how her brain was just goo and she had no idea how she should go through this day with all this useless, emotional crap during the preparation time for this important case. But she had to deal with it. She pinched the bridge of her nose before she looked up at Connor, “You know how he is. I will talk with him. Trying to remember him to focus on the case first.”, she said calmly. She already felt bad for rejecting Connor how she had done it the previous night. Now, the android didn’t also need to get treated badly by Gavin who felt rejected as well. She feared he would try to take out his anger on the android. Yn wanted to talk with Gavin, to tell him the truth, telling him what she had found out about her feelings but this morning wasn’t the right time. She hoped he would understand that.

Never in her whole life, Yn was so wrong.

As she saw Gavin entering the DPD, she hurried over to intercept him, brave enough to speak with him, “Gavin, hey, about yesterday-”, she tried but his dead glance stopped her.

“Not now, yn. We have work to do.”, Gavin said ice cold. He saw her shocked expression about his distanced behavior. It hurted him to see her like this because of his reaction but if he wanted to get over her, he had to be strong. The last thing he needed was to hear anything about her developing relationship with Connor.

He was about to leave but yn grabbed his arm, “No, please. Don’t run away. We really have to talk, okay?”

Gavin looked into her eyes and he was about to give in but his will was stronger, “No. I don’t wanna talk. Just let us focus on the case.”, he pulled his arm out of her grip and went to his desk.

Yn stared after him speechless. No matter how bad their fights had been before, he never had been this ice cold towards her. Even as they got partnered up he had been an asshole to her at first but never like this. A thick lump was building in her throat and suddenly, yn feared to not just have lost her partner rather even her friend.

As Captain Fowler got the newest results of the case of Yn and the team, he called Captain Allen to secure him and his SWAT unit as support. Captain Allen joined the team as well, and all together they planned the whole mission. Allen didn’t notice anything but Hank saw that there was something going on in the team. Yn and Gavin barely spoke to each other. Whenever she tried to get closer to Gavin he stepped back a bit and focused on some file. Avoiding her at all costs. With Connor was it the same. The android watched Gavin and yn with an unreadable expression. Hank was sure that there was something going on he didn’t know and the way all three acted, he was sure, it was not case related.

To escape the tense air, yn went to Fowler, she got coffee or she talked with Captain Allen about a detail of the case. The whole thing wasn’t that complicated but she was glad to have Allen on their side. Captain Allen and his team would be the backup around the warehouse while Gavin, Hank and Connor would make the raid. As yn and Allen discussed a few more details, a sudden turmoil coming from her desk caught the attention of everyone.

Connor’s unusual behaviour caused yn to run to the android and Gavin as she saw how Connor tried to attack her partner. With a swift move, she brought herself between Connor and Gavin, stopping the android with her hands on his chest. From behind her back, Gavin was yelling at Connor, “You stupid tin can!”

“Yeah? I will show you how stupid I am!”, Connor yelled back and yn had difficulties holding Connor at bay.

Slowly, she pushed Connor back before she looked alternate from Connor at Gavin and vice versa, not understand what had happened, “Both of you calm the fuck down! What is going on here?”, she asked serious. Sure, she knew what the topic could be but how that could escalate this quickly was a miracle.

Connor, still with a raging glance in his eyes, answered the question first, “The whole day, he makes some remarks.”

Gavin stepped forward, “Yes, because you stupid plastic toy are getting on my nerves!”, he yelled back.

“Gavin! Calm down!”, yn tried to sooth her partner but Gavin was in his raging mode, staring at the android with dark eyes.

“What is your problem, huh? Can't you accept that you will never have a chance with her?”, Connor asked teasingly. Yn was shocked that Connor was able to be nasty like this. He was provoking Gavin even more but on the other hand she had no idea what Gavin had done the whole time. A movement on her side caught her attention.

“You mother fucking prick!”, Gavin cursed, ready to jump at Connor.

Yn held Gavin back, her hands were barely able to push the man back who was so angry, “Gavin, no!”, she said seriously. As she noticed that Connor wanted to react as well, she looked at him warningly, “Connor, no!”

“What the hell is going on here?”, Fowler yelled from the opened door of his office. Connor and Gavin were still staring at each other, ready to explode any second.

“Nothing, Captain. Just their typical bickering. I will take care of it.”, yn tried to reassure her boss.

Angry about both of them, she pushed Gavin and Connor out of the open office, “Get into the kitchen! Both! Now!”, she demanded angrily. Her nerves were raw. The day was almost over. The operation had been planned completely. Everyone knew what they had to do and yet, these two couldn’t be as calm as she had hoped for.

Hank followed them and stayed near the entrance as help if needed and to prevent someone from walking in.

“What the hell is going on?”, yn asked angrily and annoyed. Gavin had walked to one wall, leaning against it with crossed arms and looked at a point on the ground while Connor just stood there in the middle of the kitchen.

“He was getting on my nerves all day.”, the android said as a defence.

“Yes, because you’re a stupid plastic-”, Gavin called out.

But yn stopped him as she stepped forward, “You! Don't act innocent! We have to work together! All of us! This case is important! So, we have to sort things out, now!”, she said serious.

Gavin stepped forward. Even Hank was alarmed but Gavin just stared down at yn angrily, “No! You have to sort out things with him. I didn't start the fight. He attacked me!”

Now, Connor stepped forward as well, anger rising in his system, “Because you couldn't stop bothering me the whole day!”, and because Connor wasn’t used to such emotions, he started to attack Gavin once again.

Yn stopped the android and even Hank stepped forward to hold his partner back.

Gavin saw yn touching Connor and something broke inside of him. The whole day he tried his best to keep his temper down. He had picked on Connor because otherwise, he would have let out his anger on yn and that was the last thing he wanted. But now, to see them together, in such an intimate way, was too much and Gavin did the only thing he could do to prevent something worse, “I don't need this. I'm outta here!”, he called out and passed the three to rush out of the DPD.

“Gavin, wait!,” yn called out but once again, he was running away from her. The same move he had done the last few days over and over again, “Fuck damnit!”, she cursed, kicking against a bin and walked up and down.

Hank noticed quickly what was going on. To him, everything made sense. Now, yn just needed a push into the right direction, “Kiddo, follow Gavin. He needs you now.”

Yn looked up into the friendly expression of Hank before she nodded. She looked apologetically at Connor before she left the DPD as well to follow her stubborn and idiotic partner.

Confused, Connor watched after yn and looked at Hank, “Why have you sent her after him? Reed acted like an idiot.”

“Look, these two are... They have to find out what they are by themselves. But, obviously, you were the trigger.”

“What do you mean?”

“I guess they're more than just partners. They have to talk about what they are. I will explain it to you.”, Hank said as he saw Connor's confused expression.

#connor rk800 #detroit become human gavin #dbh gavin reed #dbh gavin #gavin reed #gavin x reader #gavin reed x reader #detroit become human #fandom love #fandom #fanfiction #fanfic #writing

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creepypocky · 3 years

Note

Hello dear! May I have a romantic and Nsfw creepypasta match-up please? Feel free to ignore this if they are closed but if you do choose to do this then thank you so much! I hope you have a great day/night!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight (For now might be bi but i'm going with straight)

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm a big extrovert, goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back. I can have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting.

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything. Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider.

So for the nsfw part.....I'm very shy and i'd like it if someone guided me. But i'm 100% a Bottom and I love praise and maybe a tiny bit of degradation. I also have a big ownership kink like if someone tells me that i'm their's....then I might die. Also if they told me that they "Needed" me I would also die on the spot...in a good way. I'm also a sucker for marking like lovebites and hickies? Yes please. But please tease me and edge me because I prefer not having control so someone else being in control is just...lovely. Also pet names! Like Sunshine, Babygirl, Doll....AHHhh I might melt. Things I don't like are impact play or the whole "Daddy kink" It kinda just makes me cringe

I also don't think I really have a type but.....I do tend to love people who are brooding, and intimidating on the outside but a big teddy bear on the inside because that's how I am sometimes. I hate people who are fake or just passive aggressive because they are super annoying to deal with and honestly if you have something to say then just say it to my face rather than behind my back.

Hello :)

|| I enjoyed reading through this. I'll definitely work on it now. ||

I match you with ~ Jeff The Killer!

First off, he really likes your size and style, he has a think for small girls that can still be tough and that’s something he loves showing off when you get together lmfao, he’s like, “Yeah, my girls strong. Fuck you gonna do about it?”

Now, Jeff is a really unstable, violent guy. A lot of people (even me) don’t even see him ever being interested in being in a relationship, so when the creeps saw Jeff with his arm around you, they were immediately baffled by it.

The truth is, though, this man totally wants to have someone by his side, someone that accepts him even though he’s a killer. Someone that’s open to his feelings and is willing to look past all of the horrible shit he’s done.

You’re like that to him, it took him a very long time to get used to how he felt for you at first. At first he thought his brain was just being stupid, but Jeff isn’t dumb. He knows what these feelings feel like, and he recognized them almost immediately after that.

Jeff is really insane, and he constantly leans on you for support and depends on you to keep him leveled at times. It can get pressuring, but despite it all he always makes sure to not blame you if he ends up doing something dumb because he knows it’s not your fault.

He finds your clothing style pretty hot, he really loves badass kind of outfits with leather and band names, because as I said, he loves to show off that his girl is “cool” or something.

He thinks your resting bitch-face and cold exterior is really badass too, being around you always gives him so much confidence and its a great change from the usual fake confidence he has around everyone that he keeps up as a defense mechanism when in reality he was always pretty insecure.

I honestly think Jeff is an extrovert too, like he loves being around people and interacting with them (When they’re not normal people and don’t think he’s hideous, that is). I canon this mostly because when hes alone, then he’s also alone with his thoughts and his thoughts always end up wandering to his insecurities and what he hates about himself, but you often catch him during these times and you reassure him that everything will be okay and that you still love him.

He totally relates to being the friend that says stupidest shit, you two will often just go up to one of the creeps and just start spouting random shit. He honestly fucking loves being goofy with you, and you two are always creating awesome memories together when you prank the other creeps and sometimes each other and he honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

When you do stupid shit that gets you in trouble or puts you in danger, he’s always quick to get to you and make sure you’re okay, he would probably panic a lot though. Like, “What the fuck, dumbass?” “How the HELL did you do that???“ as he’s frantically trying to solve the situation. Will most definitely sit there and laugh at you for a good 5-10 minutes once the whole thing is dealt with though.

You being able to stick up for your friends is one of the great qualities about you that he absolutely adores, especially since before he became a killer he would always get bullied and nobody would ever stick up for him, so one day when you defend him against a bunch of assholes it just warms his heart up and makes him feel so loved, but he most likely wont admit that.

He’d let it slip eventually though.

When you’re feeling self-destructive, he is 100% there for you. Although he’s not really the best at giving advice, he’ll still sit there with you and let you talk your heart out and will listen to every single word because he wants to show that same contribution towards you that you’ve shown him. He’ll constantly reassure you that not everything is your fault and that you’re strong, and he’ll make little promises to you.

If it was a person in particular making you feel that way though, he’d definitely make sure to pay a visit to the motherfucker.

He admires your determination to fight for the things you want, but to an extent. He hates it when you overwork yourself or push beyond your limits to the point where it destroys you, and he wants you to know that you’re not alone and you can ask for help, you don’t have to destroy yourself. He’s more than willing to stay right there, by your side.

He understands hiding your true emotions, because well, he’s had to do it a lot around the other creeps and around his family when they were still alive. So he won’t ever push you to talk about somehting if you don’t want to, but he doesn’t want you to pretend to be okay either. He’s more than willing to just lay with you and do whatever you want if it would make you feel better.

He honestly likes how you have a southern accent at times, when he’s feeling upset or like his sanity is draining, your accent really soothes him so sometimes he’ll ask you to lay it on thick because he could honestly listen to you talk to him and listen to your accent all day if he wanted to.

It’s good that you like cigarette smoke because I canon this man smokes very often.

When it storms at night, he’ll always hold you close to him with a blanket and just listen to the storm sounds with you because it soothes him too. This man is really pent up from feeling driven to constantly murder and just sitting with you listening to the rain and thunder is one of the main things that level him.

He’s really not the best.... at cooking.... but, this means you can cook often for him since he won’t for himself. B)

He will just put you in a car and drive for hours to no destination and blast that 80s and 90s music just to see that smile on your face.

This man will 100000000000% destroy any spider within a 10 mile radius of you.

He understands not liking people who are fake because there were a lot of people who talked shit about him when he went to school, and when he has a problem with someone he will always say it to their face and make them understand that they’re a piece of shit to him.

NSFW:

You like being dominated and guided? Good, because this man is at least 95% a top. He thinks it’s adorable that you’re shy and will most definitely be willing to guide you through the whole thing and tell you exactly what to do for him.

Jeff is really possessive tbh, so when he’s fucking you he will constantly say shit like,

“Fucking mine”

“You’re nobody elses“

“You belong to me, only”

This man will definitely bite you everywhere, he lives to just throw you down onto the bed and start biting everywhere on your body and making sure to leave marks just so you know exactly who owns you.

Don’t worry honey, he will spend hours just filling you with his cock and telling you that you cant cum unless you beg more, or he’ll just pull out right when you’re about to cum on him and just slap your folds with his fingers as a way to make fun of you.

He’ll call you things like, “baby” “dollface” “darling” when he’s feeling passionate but oh boy if he’s feeling angry or he’s punishing you? Be prepared to be degraded all night.

There we go <3

Sorry if this is too long lmfao, I just think that Jeff is a really misunderstood piece of shit. I hope you’re having a great day and taking care of yourself, and I hope you enjoyed this matchup. :)

#creepypasta smut #creepypasta #matchup #creepypasta matchups #jeff the killer #anon ask #smut

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ancient-day · 3 years

Text

On the Third Semester and PT Awareness

Over the year, I’ve seen various interpretations concerning the third semester and how “guilty” the Phantom Thieves are in falling prey to Maruki’s reality, and I wanted to throw out my own take and observation on the group. And this observation is based under the assumption that Akira has reached Confidant Rank 10 with every single party member, including Akechi and Sumire.

This isn’t to argue with anyone, and I’m not looking to make any sort of “I’m right; therefore, you’re wrong if you don’t agree” arguments here because at the end of the day, responses to media will always vary, and these characters are all human enough to have a multitude of interpretations. That does not make them badly written, it simply means that we as the audience may have different understandings based on our own personal experiences that impact how we view the characters.

With all that being said, I’ll get right into it. Do I think the PT were “bad friends” to Akira in the third semester? Short answer: It’s complicated, and different friends fulfill different needs. Long answer, below.

Starting with Akechi.

I’m gonna get this out of the way, but worry not, this isn’t an elaborate excuse to gush about their bond even if they’re my favorite characters. Bias aside, Akira and Akechi have a solid bond where they’ve finally come to rely on each other, and we finally get to see that come into play in this final arc of the game.

In Rank 8, Akechi expresses admiration for Akira’s strength and admits that he’d be relying on him in a pinch.

And this is exactly what he does when he seeks out Akira as soon as he’s let out of police custody. He notices things are odd and immediately goes to the person he knows he can rely on so that they can figure it out together. It’s painted as a deal, and obviously that appears strictly transactional, but that’s exactly how Akira has operated in his own relationships. He makes deals with his confidants; this is nothing new.

He even admits that he’d have snapped Akira out of the delusion, just like Akira does for all his other friends (albeit in a much less gentle way, but in his defense, he’s not exactly equipped for gently talking someone out of their happiness).

So for better or for worse, Akechi’s here with all the straightforwardness and sharp edges you could expect from someone dragged back from death’s door to deal with yet another manipulative adult trying to control his and his friend’s lives. He isn’t without his sympathetic moments, but for the most part, he’s clearly trying to be the consistent voice of reason when anyone may falter.

One of the most incredible displays of this is 2/2. By this point, all of the PT have been broken out of their trance, and they’re well aware that Maruki is going to confront Akira, especially because Akechi basically goes out of his way to point out that it’s the most likely scenario in their group chat.

Even though they all know this, they trust Akira to be able to handle this as their leader and to reach out if he needs anything. The problem here is that... Akira isn’t exactly known to do this. By now, they’ve all known him for a year, and they know that he handles most of his shit alone (mostly due to the Protagonist ProblemTM where the protag has to be mostly self-reliant to give the player something to do, but there are also instances of Akira deliberately hiding his pain and trauma from others to ease their minds [his headaches and responses to Shido]).

So why are they making him do it alone? Why isn’t anyone on stand-by? It’s possible they consider Morgana as enough support, so perhaps the thought never crosses their mind. Even Morgana is apprehensive about the whole thing, but doesn’t advise him to contact anyone else.

So who does give him back-up? Akechi. He doesn’t invite himself in, he doesn’t text Akira to let him know he’s just outside in case he needs him, and he doesn’t draw attention to it until Maruki calls him out.

He could be here for any number of reasons, and it doesn’t even have to be just one reason. But let’s assume he’s here because he wants to make sure Akira won’t be swayed by Maruki’s words or the temptation of his life without him being present to speak for himself. In both cases, he’s emotionally backing Akira up and going out of his way to help in his own way.

This speaks volumes for his strength of resolve and how far he’s come.

I don’t need to discuss the rest of this interaction because the primary focus is that Akechi demonstrates his friendship by being there for Akira even when his year-long friends weren’t (physically).

But are they bad friends for not doing this?

Not necessarily. Not everyone has this kind of strength and awareness to understand their friends on this level. Akira and Akechi understand each other well because they’re very similar at their core. This isn’t necessarily bias because the game goes out of its way to show and tell us this (hell, Arsene’s and Loki’s silhouettes are strikingly similar!). It makes them inconsiderate perhaps, but it doesn’t mean that they’re overall bad friends.

It’s not completely their fault that they buy Akira’s stoic leader personality. He doesn’t really give them much to work with, and as much as we all want to believe that we’d do better as friends, sometimes you really do think people can handle the problems they say they can and just hope that they’ll come to you when they need you. It’s human.

So rewinding now that I’m done focusing on what Akechi offered as a friend this semester and going back to the PT being under Maruki’s influence.

Each of the thieves offers Akira an apology during their third awakening, and I’m sure many people found this highly unnecessary because as far as we know, they were completely brainwashed by Maruki’s control on the world around them. However, if this were the case, then why would they feel so deeply apologetic? I have a couple theories about this.

One. This would be the second time Akira has to push them out of their own wallowing (the first time in the Velvet Room just before fighting Yaldabaoth), and their resolves back then would appear flimsy to them now having fallen under yet another form of manipulation. Where before they were ready to submit to the hopelessness and sloth, here they’re falling under Maruki’s spell because a strong enough part of them desired things to be different regardless of how far they’d come and how much they’d grown.

Two. Because they were at least partially aware things were odd and willingly chose to ignore it because they didn’t want to confront the truth.

This is said before the third awakenings, right after the group comes to rescue Akira and Akechi and help defeat berserk!Cendrillon. While the group had a conversation about vaguely remembering events that contradict their happy reality prior to this, this confirms that at least Futaba was aware things were odd even before Akira tried to snap her out of it. Whether this is due to her navigation abilities or her awakening having been linked to her desire to never again turn her eyes away from the truth, it’s hard to say. But this is important to note that while they were tempted by Maruki, at least one person in the group was aware that things were odd and willingly chose not to question it.

Can we blame her? Of course not. But it’s still worth pointing out that this situation isn’t so clear as “the PT had absolutely zero idea that they were in an odd situation until Akira tried to wake them from it.”

So what about everyone else? What do they really have to be sorry for?

Morgana apologizes for not holding true to his resolve, and he feels as though he’s let both himself and Akira down in doing so. He also acknowledges that he’s responsible for shoving all his own problems onto Akira and vows to change this.

While he doesn’t seem to admit to any awareness that things were odd before Akira put the idea in his head, it seems like he still holds himself responsible for having had doubts in his resolve that he’d reached with Akira in their rank 10. And these doubts caused him to rely on that false happiness and turn his back on Akira, even if he didn’t mean to.

I think it’s great that he brings attention to this and wants to be more independent. Of course Akira will still be there for him, but it’s not healthy for either of them for Morgana to have put him in this position, and now they can continue growing in their friendship. And so when he promises to protect Akira from here on out, it’s a vow that rings true because he had the strength to confront his own weaknesses, admit to them, and apologize for how they hurt someone he cares deeply about. Sometimes we hurt people we love without meaning to or when we’re caught up in ourselves.

And these characters are teenagers. They’re inherently pretty selfish, which isn’t an evil or bad thing so much as it’s a stage of life that makes it difficult to look outside yourself. Makoto even admits to this in her own apology.

When we’re fans of these characters, our instinct is to say you didn’t do anything wrong; you have nothing to apologize for, but these apologies aren’t coming out of no where, and they’re allowed to reflect and regret what they’ve done even if they didn’t mean to.

And I know I already touched on Futaba’s situation here, but there’s something else in her third awakening that shows her bond with Akira and adds to her guilt. She specifically fears that she’s betrayed him and hurt him greatly, even though he reassures her she hasn’t. Why does this stand out to me? Because all throughout Royal, one of Akira’s consistent fears is the fear of betrayal.

And this shows that Futaba knows him well enough to know this is something that hurts him personally, and she’s worried she did that to him. While the hurt isn’t as severe as she fears, it’s a fair assumption for her to come to after having admitted that she willingly turned away from the truth.

I’m going to cut the awakenings here because I don’t have much else to add about the entirety of the PT because it could end up redundant, but these were specific examples that show that they do have things to apologize to Akira for, and it’s not a matter of them blaming themselves for being “brainwashed” so much as them apologizing for once again putting Akira in a position where he has to snap them out of their weaknesses after they’ve promised to be there for him.

The overall impression I get from their responsibility in the matter is that to an extent, all of them probably experienced something similar to what Futaba described about having felt something was off initially but ignored/denied it until Akira came to them and really made them confront it out loud. Her sense of it may have been the strongest, but I still think there has to be some degree in each of them, even if faint.

This makes them human, flawed yet sympathetic. They’re allowed to mess up in their friendships, especially since a majority of them have close to no experience with friendship as is. Akechi isn’t the better support here due to his own skills in friendship; he and Akira have a special understanding of one another because they’re extremely similar and aren’t convinced by masks and appearances. And Akechi has been severely manipulated, so he knows damn well that Akira’s gonna need back-up against another manipulative person even if he thinks he can handle it alone. Akechi’s been there and he knows how that goes.

So it’s not necessarily a matter of him being the better friend overall so much as they’re all Akira’s close friends and support him in various ways. And ideally, Akira should have that in his friend group. There are things that the PT can offer that Akechi can’t, and vice versa. But I think it’s more than fair to acknowledge when the PT slip up and have a messy handling of their relationships.

They’re all growing and learning.

#jest ramblings #whoops i rambled but there are at least screenshots here?#I was gonna go through each of the 3rd tier awakenings but tbh this is already so long #kingdom queue

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warlordgab · 4 years

Text

Fairy Tail Chapter 417: A NaLu moment?

“Use a picture. It’s worth a thousand words.”

- Arthur Brisbane

This theoretical analysis is a request from some fellow NaLu fans...

Several readers assume the conversation between Gildartz and Natsu in the chapter 417 is something relevant to NaLu. What does the FT story tells us about it?

To answer that question we can take a look at what happens before and after that chapter. I could use the anime adaptation as a source of information, but I couldn't find a confirmation of Mashima working on that episode so I cannot use it as part of this analysis

What were the circumstances before Natsu's encounter with Gildartz? The Fairy Tail guild with some help of Sabretooth members managed to pull off a victory against a really powerful dark guild composed of Etherias created by Zeref

But, it was a battle with several close calls...

Some moments after meeting Zeref himself, who left a cryptic message to Natsu, nearly the entire guild gets trapped by Tartaros' Alegria. After Lucy saved the guild, Natsu/Lucy and co. almost get drowned/killed by an enemy's ability. And then we have anti-magic bombs nearly depowering everyone in the continent, which thankfully didn't happen thanks to another unexpected intervension.

You probably get the idea...

But, the thing that affected Natsu the most during that battle was seeing his "father," the person he sought for so long, getting mutilated by Acnologia as he bid his farewell to his son Natsu. Losing a parent is already a pretty painful experience, and seeing a father die while being powerless to help him is quite a traumatic experience

After the whole ordeal, Natsu decides to go to a 1-year training trip only accompanied by Happy. He doesn't say goodbye to any of his guildmates before going, but he felt the need to leave a letter to Lucy telling her about this trip.

We already know how that went from Lucy's side, who tried and failed to reach Natsu, and even though she said she felt alone, she didn't leave with any other guildmate or friends after Fairy Tail got temporarily disbanded. We could talk about how the one person she wanted to be with the most was Natsu, but that's not the point of this analysis/theory (I'd wish it was lol).

During his trip, he ran into Gildartz...

...and some crazy shenanigans ensue

Some time later, Gildartz finds Natsu not being able to get any sleep that night. Which led to the panels that we’ll discuss in this post.

Which we’ll do after going over what happened after this chapter...

To make things short, Natsu, Lucy, and Happy reunite. But then Natsu gets the new that the guild disbanded shortly after his leave, and eventually takes a look at Lucy’s efforts to track their guildmates...

...without realizing it, Lucy’s actions motivated Natsu to bring back Fairy Tail.

He reassured Lucy along the way, doing his best to ease her fears and dispel her concerns. (There are some underrated moments there)

Now that we have context, we can finally get to the meat and potatoes of this post: “enigmatic” scene from Chapter 417

The scene has no dialogue, the storytelling for this chapter relies solely on visuals.

That makes it difficult to determine what they were talking about. But, we can only use the context the story gave us, and read Natsu’s reaction to get an idea of what he was saying.

We know that Gildartz realizes Natsu couldn’t sleep that night, he walks to him, and then we have this moment. At first, Natsu seems troubled, like he’s starting to get something out of his chest.

At the second panel we see a mix of emotions, he seems sad, flustered, and somewhat self-conscious.

Would it have something to do with the death of his father? Maybe, people deal with loss and grief in different manners. Even the smallest of detailes reminding them of their dead loved ones is enough to make a man (or a woman) crumble

Still, Natsu dealing with mixed feelings is also consistent with his reluctance when deciding to leave a goodbye letter to Lucy.

More often than not, Natsu drags Lucy to his crazy adventures, a trend that occurs so often that Lucy eventually felt bount to Natsu. They even earned the title of the most compatible team from Fairy Tail.

But, this time, instead of getting Lucy to come, he decided to go without her. Are we seeing in his face shame, guilt, and/or regret due to this choice? It’s possible, and it would fit nicely as well.

But, what argument could we make to support all of this? The unique “war” they experienced against Tartaros... let me elaborate on that:

What did Fairy Tail went through so far?

They repelled attacks from enemy guilds. Prevailed against the likes of Oración Seis. Team Natsu survived Edolas. They bested Grimoire Heart, a guild led by a former master of Fairy Tail. They dominated several parts of GMGs until getting their rep back after 7-years of absence. And even survived a multiple dragon attacks.

They managed to win and/or survive most of these encounters with minimal loses along the way. But, the conflict against Tartaros pushed some Fairy Tail members to the edge magically, physically, and emotionally. And as explained earlier had several close calls

Natsu not only saw how his father got killed, he also saw Zeref as a threat, but somewhat understood there was a large gap he had to overcome if he wanted to protect his loved ones from Zeref.

The narrative of the story implies Natsu’s decision of that 1-year training was to avoid losing the people he held dear. And we already saw what happened when he thought he lost Lucy...

However, even with this narrative on our side, it’s difficult to establish a connection between Natsu’s scene at chapter 417 and any possible grief or regret for Igneel or Lucy.

What about what happened right after the 1-year training?

We know Natsu was delighted for spending time with Lucy, and a little frustrated at the fact Fairy Tail’s got disbanded. And we also know he only took action to reunite the guild after Lucy inadvertently gave him the impulse to do so. But, making a connection between these developments and chapter 417 is even harder, even if we factor how Natsu played the role of emotional support for Lucy.

It’s easier to consider what happened before that scene as a potential cause for Natsu’s reactions.

The ambiguity of the moment makes it hard offering a clear-cut answer about it, but the context at least reduces the matter to two choices that are not mutually exclusive, and one of them implies NaLu.

In conclusion, is the chapter 417 scene a NaLu hint? It’s possible, but not certain. The panels convey several feelings and emotions, and the context helps us limit the cause, but we don’t have enough evidence to provide a more concrete answer.

#fairy tail #nalu #natsu dragneel #igneel #theoretical analysis #theory?#chapter 417

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knifeshoeoreofight · 4 years

Photo

Part 3 of ?

(part 1 here)

(part 2 here)

They fall into a pattern after that. Sid works in the labs during the day, going over previously gathered data and doing just enough to keep Bettman thinking that all is well. Natalia teaches him the staff rotations and camera locations to allow him to reach the observation room without being caught, and they meet up there in the middle of the night to discuss their plans.

Natalia just calls the being “malysh” most of the time, but Sid had wanted to call him with his name. The being had only laughed in a riot of color and explained that Sid had no hope of replicating it with human vocal cords. Much of the being’s communication, aside from color and telepathy, he explained, was subsonic, at frequencies too low for human ears.

“Evgeni,” Natalia says firmly, in order to move the conversation along. “Good Russian name. Can call you Zhenya for small.”

I like it the being--Zhenya-- had replied, radiating mental warmth in response.

“Zhenya,” Sidney had said, testing the sound of it in his mouth. The lights on Zhenya’s body had all flickered in response.

Now, they have the rudiments of a plan. Zhenya needs some of the equipment on his ship, badly.

My kind, he explains. We….adapt, easily. I can stop your gravity and atmosphere... from killing me. But I need my ship.

Their communication comes so much easier now. Sid wonders if there’s some kind of link or connection that grows stronger with use. He knows that it still takes effort and that Zhenya has to rest after long sentences, but the gaps are becoming shorter. Zhenya’s personality, vibrant from the first, comes through even more clearly now. Sid can see why Natalia is so fiercely protective of him, and he aches thinking about the suffering he’s had to endure until now.

I will be able to assume an almost human biological form he tells Sid one night. Tell me...what is considered good, to your species? In a person’s form.

His lights are all soft yellow and his eyes are wide and innocent-looking. Suspiciously so. When he imitates a human facial expression it’s deliberately done.

Sid flushes. “You mean, like, what is aesthetically pleasing? Or um.”

Lights pulse, a rainbow of other colors flickering through the yellow. Your species is very focused on...reproductive availability, correct?

“Oh god,” Sid says, feeling his face heat up even further. “Uh. Well, height is considered pretty important, for guys? And, um.”

Reproductive organ size? Zhenya says, still wide-eyed and butter-yellow with what Sid is beginning to think is faux-innocence.

“Such a dick,” Sid blurts. His face feels like it’s on fire.

Not yet Zhenya sends, smugness radiating from the words like bad cologne.

“You told me last night that your people have monitored our radio and television signals for decades,” Sid accuses. It had floored him to learn, but it explained Zhenya’s ability to speak human languages, albeit telepathically. “You know exactly what is considered attractive to humans.”

I only want to program the DNA successfully, Zhenya claims.

“Uh huh.” Sidney rolls his eyes, but has to smile as Zhenya’s lights edge toward pink. “Sure you do.”

***

Sid has more than a few overwhelming fears about their plans.

“If I disappear at the same time you do,” he says, one night about two weeks in. “They might come after me once I return home. They’ll be watching my place, probably.” He feels terrible even bringing this up. Zhenya and Natalia are both risking so much.

Once I have adapted Zhenya tells him, lights flowing down his skin in a way that seems intended to comfort and reassure. I will still have some of my abilities, and my technology. I will be able to protect you.

“You’ll be staying with me?” Sid asks. “After this?”

Zhenya goes very still. If. If you consent.

“Of course,” Sid says. He feels a strange sense of relief. The scientist in him, of course, wants every opportunity to continue to learn about extraterrestrial life, and the rest of him has begun to grow...fond of Zhenya. His curiosity, his surprising playfulness. His affection for Natalia.

Sid leans his forehead against the glass. He’s exhausted from weeks of fractured sleep and strung out nerves. They’re alone tonight- Natalia’s husband has a cold and she stayed home from work to care for him.

Zhenya leans his forehead against the glass as well, making one of his low, rumbling hums.

It was my dream, he thinks wistfully. All my life. To come and study this planet. I’m not ready to leave it. I just need to be free of this place.

“I know,” Sid says softly, and tries something new. Just like the times he sends thought Zhenya’s way, he tries to send the complicated bundle of emotions lodged in his chest. Fear, affection, resolve.

Sid is all Zhenya sends back, and the glass between them trembles with sound that Sid mostly feels, rather than hears.

He has the strangest sense that there’s more that Zhenya would like to say, but he holds his peace, moving instead to the less emotionally fraught topic of the facility’s containment breach protocols.

***

After a while, there isn’t anything more to discuss. There is only the execution of their plan.

Their saving grace is that due to the paranoia of those running the facility, nothing so much as a laptop camera is allowed in the observation room. They decide then, that getting through the window is their best bet, as they will have at least two hours between guards making security checks of the room.

Sid has access to the equipment storage area for the research department. He manages to steal a reciprocating saw and an acetylene torch easily enough, hiding them in one of the equipment lockers close to the observation room. He packs a backpack with only the absolute essentials, and makes his way to where Zhenya is waiting for him, tense and pacing as they wait for Natalia to arrive.

When she arrives, she wastes no time. She presses a wrapped package of food into Sid’s hands and kisses him on both cheeks. Sid has to swallow and clear his throat before he can ask her how preparations went.

“Pipe is blocked in office block. All cleaning staff go there, big mess.”

Sid nods. They have to get Zhenya out, then time their race to reach the hanger just right to avoid security patrols.

Natalia pauses, then presses something heavy into Sid’s hands, wrapped up in what appears to be a flowered tea towel.

He goes cold all over when he realizes that it’s a handgun.

“I’m take from guard’s room,” Natalia says. Her expression is worried but her gaze is flinty. Whatever it takes, her eyes say.

Sid’s hands shake a little, but he checks the safety, and tucks the weapon in the waistband of his jeans. The reality of it is, he doesn’t know how to use a gun properly, and the guards here are most likely going to bring him down and ask questions never. Some of the tension leaves Natalia’s shoulders though, and that is enough.

The plexiglass of the viewing window proves insanely difficult to deal with. It emits billows of noxious-smelling smoke as it melts, and when Sid has to alternate between the torch and the saw. His shoulders and arms are burning and sweat is running off him in rivers as he grits his teeth and shears through the window centimeter by hardwon centimeter. They’re cutting a diagonal across one of the corners, hoping for the sealant to fail and make for fewer cuts.

His brain is just an endless loop of come on come on come on come on as beside him Natalia starts to murmur what sound like prayers.

A glance into Zhenya’s enclosure shows smoke collecting at an alarming rate. His lights are flickering a sick green-yellow that turns Sid’s stomach with worry.

Finally. He hits the edge of the window and starts in on the massive bolts on the frame, working his way down from the top as Natalia starts in on the ones on the bottom.

They’re not going to have enough time. There’s no way. Sid wedges a crowbar under the edge of the frame and heaves on it, with a strangled grunt. Natalia grabs on as well and they both haul on it as Zhenya pushes on the opposite side.

There’s a horrible squeal of metal on metal, and, miraculously, the frame gives. The plexiglass falls out of it with a thud.

“Go, go!” Natalia cries. She pushes Sid’s bag at him and he throws it over his shoulder. He turns and holds out his arm to support Zhenya as he folds himself through the gap. He’s lighter than he looks, as if he’s hollow-boned as a bird.

Quick.

He extends a tendril to Natalia and she holds out her hand. Sid watches in puzzlement as Zhenya’s lights flare.

It is an honor, Natalia he says.

Natalia’s eyes are wet as she hurries them out of the room and down the long corridor to Zhenya’s ship. Sid can hear an alarm start to blare in another part of the complex.

“Be safe,” Sid tells her with a final kiss to her cheek. She nods, and takes off. She has to make it to an electrical panel that will allow her to throw the fuses for the hanger bay.

Come, Zhenya tells him, and they take off down the endless hall, sirens and flashing lights now blaring around them. Zhenya stumbles, and Sid has to haul him upright.

As if in a slow motion nightmare, just as they turn a corner and the hanger doors come into view, Sid registers a guard standing there, raising a radio to his lips.

Sid reaches for the gun before he can think. Sweat-slick palms, nothing but the drum of his heart in his ears.

He fires. The shot goes wide, the guard swivels, bringing up his own weapon.

Sid fires again. The guard goes down, clutching at his leg. Before he can reach his dropped weapon Sid kicks it away. He wants to lean over and vomit.

Later.

The guard’s key card opens the doors for them, at least, and as they run inside, the lights all go down, save the faint glowing ones on the ship itself.

Past the electric barrier erected around it, up into the gaping entryway that opens at Zhenya’s touch.

Hold on Zhenya thinks tersely at him, as Sid half collapses against a bulkhead, lungs burning.

The ship hums to life, and Sid sways on his feet as it rises into the air. Zhenya is standing inside a curved, organic looking arch, a web of light rising around him as the ship turns, screeching and throwing sparks as it brushes the hanger walls.

The doors are corrugated steel, and Zhenya had told them that his ship can break through. Sid still closes his eyes as he hears the thrum of the engines increase in pitch. Nothing around him had looked anything like an identifiable jumpseat or safety harness, so he just braces himself against the bulkhead.

Then the ship’s sudden acceleration presses him back into the wall like an enormous hand, there’s a jolt, an awful shearing sound of metal on metal, and the floor beneath Sid tilts.

The ship is shuddering, G forces pushing on Sid until the edges of his vision start to go dark. He might be screaming. Everything is sound, and roaring, and pressure. Time itself seems to stretch.

Then, easy as a sigh, the pressure lets him go. The floor rights itself, the engines calm.

Sid is on the floor on his hands and knees, panting for breath. When he can raise his head again, he looks up, out of the cockpit window.

Beyond it is deep, velvety black- too deep and dark to comprehend, spangled with a billion points of light.

The stars.

***

Sid is lightheaded with residual adrenaline and his hands shake with fine tremors. His eyes greedily devour the sight outside as he stands in front of the main viewing-window- the blue of the sky going cold and deep at the very edge of space, the infinite blackness beyond the fragile curve of the earth.

“Zhenya,” he breathes, and turns to look at him.

Zhenya is manipulating the web of light that must make up the controls, but he seems unwell. He’s hunched over a little, and his breathing seems rasping and labored.

Sid realizes, with a flood of guilt, that he’s able to breath perfectly, and that the gravity of the ship, after the press of rapid acceleration had ceased, feels normal to him.

“Zhenya,” he says urgently. “The life support systems. You’ve set them to human parameters, haven’t you?”

Zhenya blinks at him, slow. You would suffer ill effects from my species’s ideal parameters.

“Maybe of atmospheric composition,” Sid says. “What about gravity? Does your species need higher or lower gravity than humans?

Lower.

Sid sighs in relief. “That’s fine then, my species has done great in zero-g, even, without too many ill effects. Go ahead and change it.

Zhenya does something, and Sid grins like a child as his feet slowly leave the floor. Zhenya sighs, taking a deep, rattling breath that sounds, to Sid, relieved.

“This,” Sid assures him,”Is so fucking cool. I’ve dreamt of stuff like this, space and weightlessness, my whole life.”

Zhenya’s lights pulse, and Sid feels a swell of wordless affection wash up against his thoughts.

Zhenya just feels so fond when he looks at Sid. Sid doesn’t know quite what to do with that so he turns to look out of the window again, just in time to see the Baltic Sea slide by underneath them.

Something occurs to him. In all this planning, they hadn’t considered-

“Uh, where are we going,” Sidney asks.

I need time for the adaptation Zhenya replies. I still want to conduct my research. I could take you anywhere. I have earth resources we can use.

Sid has to stare out the window at that a little. Instead of northern Norway, he watches the reflection of Zhenya’s lights, gone gently blue and pink.

He’s sitting in a spaceship. He’s sitting in a spaceship with an extraterrestrial and he’s on the run from a shadowy government organization. He shakes his head.

“I don’t even know,” he says softly, and for some reason, he thinks, “I shot someone today,” and his hands start to shake.

Sidney. Zhenya moves to stand behind him, and he rests one of his long-fingered hands on Sid’s shoulders.

He can feel...regret, he thinks, bleeding across the connection of their minds. He turns to face Zhenya.

“I’m so glad we got you out,” he says decisively. “I am.”

You are… Zhenya pauses. Extraordinary. You and Natalia. You have both risked so much for me.

His eyes are fathomless, his face as unreadable as it ever is. But the pulse of his lights and the warmth in his mind tells Sid everything that his expression won’t.

Sid, for some reason, feels his own face heat. “It was the right thing to do.The humane thing.”

Humane, from the word for your species Zhenya thinks, and his mind does something that feels a lot like the equivalent of a smile. You humans are creatures of such staggering contrast and potential.

Sid can’t meet that steady gaze anymore. He looks out of the window again. Are they over the North Atlantic?

“So this adaptation,” he asks. “What is that going to entail?”

Natalia brought me a hair of her husband’s and one of her own. I will be very nearly as if I had been their son.

Sid shakes his head in amazement and feels a curious sense of loss. All that Zhenya is, all of his otherworldly beauty, compressed into a human shell. Necessary to live on earth and fulfill his dream, perhaps, but still.

I look forward to a mostly human body Zhenya goes on. I will only hold up to the most rudimentary medical scrutiny, but I will definitely stop being killed by your environment—at least not any faster than you. He flickers his lights wryly.

I will need to spend about an earth month in a nutrient bath as my DNA is re-programmed and my body restructures itself. The DNA from Natalia was the final piece, the rest of the scaffolding was already completed as part of the preparation for this expedition.

“You guys really can just rewrite DNA, huh,” Sid says, shaking his head.

Our technology for genome manipulation arose out of necessity, Zhenya explains. My people were dying out. After we discovered space travel, we discovered that almost everything foreign to our planet caused our DNA to mutate. We were fragile. Luckily, we developed the technology before it was too late.

Sid cannot help but think,for a moment, of children dying of cancer. Of his grandfather losing his mind to Alzheimer’s.

I’m sorry, Zhenya says, having probably ascertained some of that from Sid’s thoughts. The ability to accept radical gene therapies and be effectively re-written is a particular trait of my people’s DNA. Our technology would not be of any use to humans, to my regret. You are noble to think of it.

“Ah, well,” Sid says. “We’ll have to muddle through on our own, then.”

Zhenya flickers at him, then tilts his head to one side.

You grow tired, he says. The extensive telepathic communication is hurting you.

Oh. Now that he’s paying attention, Sid can feel the beginnings of a headache throbbing at his temples.

“We never decided where we were going.” He has to laugh a little.

We will stop at your abode, and then-- Zhenya doesn’t finish the thought, but Sid gets a quickly stifled mental flicker of... palm trees?

Wherever you would like, Zhenya defers politely.

“It’s your research trip.” Sid smiles at him. “What was your plan?”

Zhenya’s lights glow excitedly. In my research I encountered several cultural artifacts of popular entertainment set in Miami. One in particular seemed to imply it would make an excellent hiding location for those involved in espionage and covert operations.

“Are you….talking about Burn Notice?” Sid says, and laughs. Why is that so cute? “Face it, you just want to go to the beach, eh?”

Maybe so Zhenya replies, and his mental tone is a warm as a smile, even if his slit of a mouth doesn’t move.

“Sure, let’s go.” Sid winces as a bolt of pain stabs his temples.

Rest, Zhenya tells him both in word and in a soothing ripple of light. I shall take you to your home and we will then travel to our next hiding place after you have gathered your belongings. Please. He motions to an entryway in the rear of the cockpit.

When Sid goes where he’s bidden, he finds a handful of compact rooms. One is dimly lit, with soothing colors playing over the walls and a white, squashy blob the size of a king mattress on the floor.

Just to be sure, Sid hollers up the hall. He doesn’t want to end up sleeping in the equivalent of an alien toilet. When he receives the affirmative that it is, in fact, a bed, he puts down his pack and takes his shoes off, studying the weird, organic shapes of the room’s mysterious furnishings.

He snorts out a laugh when he notices, enshrined in a wall niche, a little collection of earthly looking doodads including, of all the fucking things, a Funko Pop figurine. He goes over to look and the objects make him smile. There’s a pine cone, a dented tin can of baked beans, and a postcard from Seattle. He knew Zhenya was fascinated with Earth but this tenderly displayed cluster of random artifacts just drives it home.

The bed is strange. The surface feels like silicone rubber and velvet had an oddly comfortable lovechild, but it’s pillowy and soft and he drops immediately off to sleep as soon as he lays his head down.

***

Sid.

Sid jolts awake as though his name had been spoken aloud, not just into his mind.

Zhenya is leaning over him.

How is your head?

Sid’s head feels a little like it usually does after a big headache- sort of like it’s a fishbowl made of brittle glass that he needs to be careful with. But it’s manageable.

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes. “Where are we?”

The roof of your apartment building.

That wakes him up. “Okay, nice. Are you coming in with me?”

Zhenya’s lights flicker excitedly. I would love to finally visit a private human domicile.

Sid smiles. The thought was accompanied by the same feeling of giddiness he imagines you’d get from a kid walking into a toy store.

***

Sid’s apartment is thankfully on the top floor, and they get Zhenya inside without incident. Zhenya does something with some sort of scanning device and his thoughts pulse with concern.

We should not linger. This building is being surveilled.

Fuck.

Go Zhenya tells him. I will keep watch.

Sid’s place is dim with all the shades drawn, and the still air with its closed-for-weeks smell adding to the surreality of it all as Sid makes his way through his rooms with a pounding heart.

What do you bring with you when you might be leaving life as you knew it behind for good? He grabs a duffle bag, then decides he doesn’t have time to be tidy and finds a garbage bag in the kitchen. He can organize later.

A couple changes of clothes, his backup hard drive, a photo of his parents. Does he take a bottle of shower gel? It’s not like he’s leaving the planet (ha). There’s going to be a CVS or something in Florida.

In goes his favorite quilt that his grandmother made him. A coffee mug he’s fond of from his sister. A stack of research materials and books that he’d hate to lose. There’s no reason he can’t keep working. A few more things get shoved haphazardly into the duffle and the garbage bag.

Just in time he realizes that he should probably grab his birth certificate and social security card. Just in case he really never comes back. Shit, what about rent? If he keeps paying rent, can the Russian organization that held Zhenya hack in and find out, tracking his credit card usage?

Too much to think about now. He’ll have time. He’s supposed to be in Russia for another month, in any case, and it’s paid in full.

He has everything he can’t do without. He takes a last look around. He has the strangest feeling that he’s never going to see the place again.

He shoulders the duffle and nods at Zhenya.

“Let’s go.”

***

#zvezda #sidgeno #sid/geno #sidney crosby/evgeni malkin #Hockey rpf #dana writes a thing

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crazybagelbitch · 3 years

Note

Ryan: Maddie on the phone to Chimney discussing baby names and future whilst she’s away for therapy

Chimney had always wanted kids, but this is not the way he expected a theoretical pregnancy to go. Nothing about this situation is ideal, and it’s hard not to feel bitter at the universe, despite a part of him being quite happy to finally become a dad, for making what should be a joyous time a scene straight out of hell.

Maddie is away.

He knew she was struggling, and who wouldn’t be after all that she’s been through? Really, Doug abducting her was just the icing on the shitty cake; she was already thoroughly emotionally bruised by him before she even left him. It’s not fair, and as unfair as it feels for him he knows it’s a million times worse for Maddie.

And that’s what kills him, that he can’t help her. He tried-- even though he’s not her boyfriend-- he and Buck both tried so hard to support her, as did Josh and her other call center friends and her therapist-- but it wasn’t enough. She was too hurt, mentally and physically, cumulatively over the years and the combination of both him and her almost dying, and this pregnancy, just pushed her over the edge.

A self harm relapse. A bad one, and part of what really hurts about it is that he didn’t even know she used to have a problem with that before the present. He’s not upset with her, God no, it wouldn’t be fair because she doesn’t know everything about him either, but it still hurts that he didn’t have all the information; maybe he could have…

But maybes and what ifs don’t even matter anymore, because it happened and at 16 weeks pregnant she checked into an intensive psych program. He knows that it’s the best thing for her, especially given that it was her choice and not him or Buck forcing it on her, and he’s glad she’s fighting back and getting the help she so desperately needs but it’s been three weeks and not being able to see or support her in person hurts him in a way that he can’t put into words. She needs him, and he’s not there.

They’re not in a relationship, they both decided that while they loved each other neither of them were ready for that, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to be there for her. He wants her to feel supportive and loved, even if it’s a platonic sense, and he can’t help but feel like he failed.

Even if everyone is telling him that he hasn’t.

His phone rings, and Hen groans because she’s only just gotten him to sit down with a plate of food in front of him. She knows exactly who’s calling because he’s set up a special ringtone for Maddie so he knows that unless he’s out on a call, he needs to pick up no matter how sleepy or cranky he is.

“You need to eat once you get off the phone with her,” Hen calls, and he rolls his eyes as he walks out of the kitchen because he really has no idea why she’s so concerned about that.

“Maddie? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything is fine,” she breathes out, “just wanted to hear your voice and run a few things by you, is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay. Always, Maddie, always.”

“I-I thought so. Good, thank you,” she replies, and he hates that she seems nervous to talk to him, he hates Doug for bringing them to that point, “I umm, you know, I know we’re both convinced it’s a boy and I’m finding out for sure next week-- that’s the nice part about the program being in a hospital, I guess-- and I just thought maybe we should start coming up with names? I know we don’t have to choose yet because little blueberry muffin has a way to go before he’s born, but I thought maybe we could start making a list?”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” he smiles, “is there any name you like in particular?”

“Mmm, a couple, but you have to like them, too. He’s your son.”

Son. Despite it all, it feels good to think about having his own kid, having his own son after years of longing for it and then accepting that it wouldn’t happen for him.

“I won’t lie to protect your feelings, I promise. Besides, have I ever lied to you before, Maddie?” he’s mostly joking with that last part, but her reply is filled to the brim with sincerity.

“No, you never have, and I appreciate that so much about you, so honest yet so kind…”

The way she’s talking about him seems like the love is still there, so hopefully they’ll still have a chance someday.

“What do you think about Oliver?” she asks after a moment, “or Benjamin. Or… Kevin? I know he’s your brother and you loved him so much.”

“Mmm, I think I like Kevin more as a middle name. Think it might be a little too sensitive a subject for me to still use it as a first name. I do really like Benjamin, though.”

“Okay, Kevin as his middle name,” Maddie agrees easily, “and we now have added Benjamin to our yes list. Now you throw a few names out there so it’s not just me.”

“Okay,” he chuckles, “hmm… Connor? Samuel? Ryan?”

“I like Connor and Ryan! So now we have a short list.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he sighs, because he’d been wanting to broach potential names for their son for a while but was wary of pushing her too much; he wants her to set the pace on this, except there’s one question he really needs answered.

“Maddie?” he asks nervously.

“Yes?”

“If this isn’t comfortable for you, then please tell me honestly but… I’d really like to be there when he’s born. If that’s okay with you, of course.”

“Howie…” she whispers, sounding like she’s trying not to cry and he braces himself to accept the rejection, “of course I want you there, you’re his dad. I-I want you there because we’re still good friends and because Buck would probably pass out watching me give birth but mainly because… we’re a family. You’re his dad and I want you there, of course I want you there.”

“That’s what I thought you’d say,” he says in a rush, worried that he’s offended her, “really, I thought the answer would be yes, but I just had to double check because, you know…”

“We’re not together,” she sighs, “but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other, right?”

“Nope, not at all.”

“Good. Because we’re a family, traditionally or not.”

“We’re a family,” he agrees, hoping that it’s enough to reassure her.

“Howie? Are you okay? I don’t mean to pry because God knows I’m not put together right now, given the fact that we can’t even have this conversation in person, but you sound tired. Is everything okay? Can I help?”

“No, nothing’s wrong, I’m fine,” he shakes his head, and he can practically feel Hen’s glare on him from the other room.

“Are you sure? Because I know I’m a little fragile right now, but I can handle you telling me if something is wrong. I know this is all so weird but you’re still one of my closest friends, Howie.”

“I know, and you’re one of mine. But really, everything is okay. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” she sighs, not sounding thoroughly convinced but he doesn’t have time to try and reassure her, “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay, Maddie, call me anytime.”

“Love you, get some sleep,” she says hurriedly, before he hears a beep and he knows she’s gone.

He leans back into the couch, sighing deeply. He loves her, too, but he just can’t shake the feeling that this pregnancy is not supposed to be like this, like everything is all wrong.

#tw eating disorder #just implied but still #tw self harm #no description but again still #ry-ry

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nicnacsnonsense · 5 years

Text

Frozen 2. I have notes. (Spoilers)

In general I did enjoy seeing Frozen 2. If a friend wanted to see it, I would go see it again. But there is definitely room for improvement. There are three major areas that stood out to me that could use some reworking.

The first is Kristoff’s whole subplot. Him proposing to Anna is good and tripping over his words while doing so is in character, but other than that. Why would he be trying to propose to Anna while they’re busy trying to solve a crisis? Why would he run off to spend all night gathering reindeer and butterflies for an elaborate proposal when he knows they have an important mission the next morning in potentially dangerous territory. And Anna’s consistent misunderstanding of his bumbling in the worst way possible leading to snappish and angry responses from her is out of character for Anna and makes their relationship look unhealthy.

The second two are both related to Elsa. The first is that her character arc is narratively redundant. The first Frozen movie Elsa’s arc was one of self-discovery and self-acceptance related to her powers. In Frozen 2 her arc is one of self-discovery and self-acceptance related to her powers. Obviously self-acceptance is not a one a done proposition, but this doesn’t really feel like a continuation of her issues from the last movie; it’s a brand new issue that happens to be thematically identical to the ones from the last movie, making it redundant rather than a continuation. And my other issue with her arc is the way it ended. In Frozen Elsa is born different from everyone else and spends most of her life hiding that for fear of hatred and rejection from those around her if they knew. Over the course of the movie she learns to accept herself and the people around her come to accept and love her regardless and even because of her differences. In Frozen 2 Elsa is born different than everyone else, and her arc involves her accepting herself and moving to somewhere new where the people are all like her. Which if Elsa were a real person I would totally support if that was what made her happy, but as story being told by a company run by a bunch of old rich white guys starts to give vibes of “well of course all of us normal people here in Arendelle like magic users; we just think they’d be happier if they stuck to their own kind. We don’t have a problem with them. We just wouldn’t want any living in our neighborhood.” Which is a bit... not good.

So how do we fix this? We make it Anna’s story.

To be clear I’m not talking a full overhaul of the plot here. Actually very little is going to change in that regard. The plot of the movie will still be driven by Elsa’s journey, but the emotional core of the movie will be Anna’s character arc. Which, hey, actually makes a nice parallel to Frozen, where the plot was driven by Anna running around, but the emotional core was Elsa’s arc. The upside of this is obviously there’s a lot less work to do to fix things up. Downside is we still keep that same ending for Elsa; however I hope by shifting the emotional narrative around that ending we can minimize the impact of the unfortunate implications.

The movie opens with the prologue and after that we get the song “Some Things Never Change” that, with perhaps a few minor tweaks to Elsa’s somber part, can stay. (In fact most of the songs get to stay. Yay! Except “Lost in the Woods.” Sorry Kristoff; we’ll add a cute duet for you and Anna instead.) This song is going to set up Anna’s core emotional conflict for the movie as well as Elsa’s complementary conflict. Anna tells Oalf she’s not afraid of change because she’s not alone anymore. But that’s the catch; she’s terrified of change that might result in her losing her loved ones in any capacity. She spent most of her formative years feeling isolated and it’s made her clingy and needy as an adult (see her accepting Hans’ proposal after knowing him for a few hours). She can function fine on a day-to-day basis, it’s just when she feels her relationships with her loved ones are threatened that she begins to fall apart. She was alone for so long and she is convinced she cannot - not refuses to, physical and emotionally can not - do it again. Meanwhile we see Elsa who is restless and yearning for something unknown, but holding herself back for Anna’s sake, because she promised Anna she’d be there for her from now on.

Family game night happens, but Kristoff successfully proposes to Anna and everyone is happy. This is our high point for both the movie and Anna’s character from which everything is going to come slowly crashing down (until it picks up again at the end, obviously). The celebration is interrupted by Elsa hearing the voice calling her. She excuses herself, saying she’s tired, and encourages everyone else to keep having fun. Anna tries to, but Kristoff can tell she’s worried about Elsa and tells her to go check on her; he’s not going anywhere.

The next scene, “Into the Unknown,” and the evacuation occur mostly as canon, with again perhaps a few small changes in the lyrics to the song to emphasize Elsa is not holding back out of her own fear, but for Anna’s sake. Our next big change is the conversation after the evacuation about going to the Enchanted Forest. Rather than Anna having to push to come, Elsa invites everyone to come with her, but warns them it could be dangerous and they need to follow her lead. Everyone agrees and they set off.

Plot wise most of what happens next will be more or less the same as canon, but with a different tenor to the conversations between Anna and Kristoff and Anna and Elsa. Anna and Kristoff are actually engaged so their conversations are either positive and excited about that (we can replace the disastrous second proposal attempt with that cute duet I mentioned earlier) or Kristoff being comforting and supportive of Anna as she worries about her sister. For Elsa and Anna the feeling of a lot of their conversations in canon is that Elsa is falling back on old habits and being closed off and reckless while Anna is the sensible one. Instead here Elsa is confident and in her element while Anna is reckless and even clingy.

They make it to the village and are planning on spending the night when the rock giants show up. Because Anna and Kristoff are already engaged, he hasn’t run off to put together a dumb proposal, and is there when they have to leave. We get another action sequence here and at one point all of them are running along a cliff. The edge of the cliff sheers off, and Kristoff and Sven go tumbling down. Anna screams and for a second it looks like she’s going to throw herself off the cliff after him. Elsa drags her away to safety at which point Anna has a mini breakdown. Elsa tries to reassure her that the other two are probably fine — though we can tell that not even she totally believes it — and reminds Anna that she still has her and Olaf. They continue on.

They reach the ship and find out what happened to their parents. Elsa freaks out but not because she thinks it’s her fault their parents died. She freaks out because she sees now that what comes next is too dangerous for Anna to come. She swore to Anna that she’d always be there for her, but now Elsa needs to go and Anna needs to stay. This moment is the culmination of Elsa’s arc, where she’s realizing that she can’t actually always be there for Anna. Sometimes life is going to pull them in different directions and that’s okay. She has to let it happen rather than always fighting and holding herself back.

Anna wants no part of this. She protests strongly and Elsa has to trick her to send her and Olaf away. Anna and Olaf are both upset, but Olaf recognizes that Elsa might have had a point, and reassures Anna that at least they still have each other.

From this point everything goes pretty much as canon, so I just want to reflect on how this earlier changes impact the meaning of the things that happen.

Anna and Olaf are in the cave, Elsa’s message comes through, and Olaf dissolves away. Cue “The Next Right Thing.” This song is perfect and is now the thesis statement of the movie, as it rightly deserves to be. Anna started off terrified of losing her loved ones, and now one-by-one that’s what’s happened. She’s all alone and it hurts; it hurts worse than she ever imagined. But. But. But she can keep going. She can take one more step, just one more. And after she takes that step she can maybe take just one more. And one more. It’s not okay, it may never be okay again. But she can take one more step.

Having learned this lesson things begin to turn around. She’s disturbed the rock giants and as they’re gaining on her Kristoff (and Sven) ride in to the rescue. Kristoff is back, and he’s back from the supposed dead this time, which is far more triumphant than being back from wandering off to catch butterflies. They destroy the dam, and then Anna and Kristoff get a moment to reunite. Then just as Anna is breaking the news about Elsa, they spot her riding up on her water horse. Anna and Elsa also get a chance to reunite. Then Elsa brings Olaf back to life and their whole family is together again. We get a moment to bask in this before Elsa breaks the news to Anna that she’s going away. Not forever, but she has other things she needs to do with her life. And Anna is sad to see her sister go, but she’s going to be okay.

We redefined this ending so now instead of Elsa leaving being the result of her journey of self-discovery and realizing she really belongs off in the woods somewhere, it’s a result of the lessons both Elsa and Anna have learned. Elsa knows now that while it’s important to be there for your loved ones, you can’t do it at the expense of yourself. And Anna has learned how to rely on her loved ones without being dependent on them. Frozen was about them coming together and Frozen 2 is about them growing apart without letting it break their relationship. Our stories now reflect and complete each other.

#i have notes #frozen 2 #anna #elsa #kristoff #(i can't believe I spelled his name wrong the first time)

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readbeneaththelines · 4 years

Text

The Bough That Broke Pt. 13

Synopsis: Jin is injured from an avoidable accident, leaving him partially paralyzed from the waist down. Reader is the nurse that is hired to take care of him once he gets back to the dorms and begins the physically and emotionally painful road to recovery. Will she have what it takes to spark determination in him to get back on the stage?

Characters: Idol!Jin x Nurse!Reader

Genre: Whump, Angst, Itty Bittyamount of crack, itty bitty amount of fluff, maybeeeeeee some smut

Warnings: fluff, a hint of smut, much more to come, a teensy bit of angst/self doubt

Word Count: 1903

Lifting off his lap, you hooked your fingers under the waistband of his boxer briefs. You shimmied them down over his hips, his erection springing free from it’s confines. Even in the darkness of the room, you could sense a change in his demeanor. The air was suddenly thick with tension and reservation. You heard his sharp intake of breath and the long sigh that followed. Trying to reassure him, you cupped his face in your hands, whispering softly to not break the mood.

“This is completely up to you, Jin. We can stop any time you want, if you don’t feel like you are ready.”

“Thats not it.” He replied. “I want this so badly it killing me, but i don’t want to disappoint you. I want this to be as enjoyable for you as it is for me.”

“Jin. As long as it’s with you, that’s all that matters to me. We can take it slow together. Learn each others body. We don’t have t rush a thing.”

He pulled you close to him, his lips searching for yours in a connection that would put you both at ease. You made your way, not so nimbly, out of your panties. When you lowered yourself back down, you felt his full length nestle between your folds. You couldn’t help but shudder at the feeling of him beneath you, naked and soul bared before you. Shyness invaded your mind, your own fears of not being able to satisfy a lover.

Jin was now the one to assure you that you had nothing to fear. Reaching between your bodies, he found your clit, hid thumb slowly circling over it. Your head fell back, the electricity coursing already in your veins from his touch. Raising yourself on your knees, he lined the head up with your entrance. You lowered yourself down onto him, the stretch of your walls an almost foreign sensation. Your hands gripped his shoulders for support as he filled you to the hilt. Neither of you moved, allowing the moment to adjust to the way the other felt with this intimate connection you now shared.

When you began to roll your hips, his fingers dug harshly into your thighs, stilling your movement.

“Don’t move yet. If you do, I might not last long.”

Your head went forward, foreheads touching. You took a deep breath, your racing heart beating in your ears. After a few fleeting moments, his grip loosened, letting you know you could begin to move. With a gentle rocking of your hips, you felt your body stretch and close around him. His arms encircled you, chests touching, his own racing heart beating in rhythm with yours. Your pace was slow and passionate, putting all your feelings into making love to him.

This wan’t just a passing fling to you. You had never given yourself to someone so freely and fully. With him, you felt it. That one thing you hadn’t felt with your only other one lover. With Jin, you shared something very few others share. A common event, a common struggle. A fear that you had both felt, a determination to survive. If anything described soulmates, you two were the perfect example.

You could feel a coil tightening in your gut, tensing and ready to snap at any moment.

“I’m-I’m close.” You breathed out.

“Ride it out, baby. Hold on to me, I’ve got you.” He whispered in your ear. With a scream that was muffled by his mouth claiming yours in a heated and hungry kiss, you both came undone, your own orgasm spreading through every fiber of your being, every nerve ending sparking and buzzing. He filled you with his release, a low growl coming from somewhere deep within him.

You sat there, him still deep within you, riding your high until your heart found its slow steady beat once again. With you on top of him, he used his arms to push you both down in the bed, him holding you close as he laid with you on top of him. He let you gently roll to your side, his arms still around you. There were no words, only tender kisses and touches as you both fell asleep in each others arms.

You were roused by the sound of Jin’s soft voice talking to someone else in the room.

“I think I’m going to let her sleep.” he said to whoever it was.

“Are you going to tell her?”

Namjoon.

“I don’t know if she is ready to hear it.” Jin replied, a bit of doubt in his tone. You kept your eyes closed, worry edging its way into your thoughts.

Ready to hear what? That you were just a one night stand? That he didn’t really want to be with you?

You made a small purr, alerting Jin that you were waking up.

“Good morning sleepyhead. Why don’t you sleep in today. Jack is here for my therapy.” Jin cooed to you, confusing you even more to what he was talking about with Namjoon.

You nodded your head sleepily, thankful for the chance to sleep in, just a bit. But the nagging in the back of your mind, the what ifs, the doubt and fear. It would keep you awake. But , your eyes remained closed as he shuffled himself out of bed and into his chair.

In the main room, Jin joined Jack and the others. Namjoon sat on the couch while Jack did the usual stretches and exercises. Jin made some steps with his walker, Jack ever close beside him as he walked around the couch. An hour later, Jack bid his farewell, and Jin was seated on the couch next to Namjoon.

“So are you going to tell her or not?” Namjoon was very serious. The repercussions of what he and Jin talked about, heavy in his mind.

“Joon, I’m not even sure if I am going to do it or not. If I tell her, and then I don’t do it, then what would it be for?”

“She needs to know, hyung.”

“I need to know what?” Your voice echoed in the nearly empty space. Both heads turned to you.

You padded down the hallway, sitting next to Namjoon on the couch. Jin wheeled up in front of you. He placed his hands on your knees, leaning in you peck your cheek with a kiss. Still a bit confused, you let him kiss you then you leaned back to look at them both.

“So. What do I need to know? I heard you both talking earlier in the bedroom. If you have something to tell me, then go ahead. I am a big girl you know.”

Sensing the tension in the air, Namjoon looked at you, then jin, then rose from his seat and left the room. Now that you were alone, you stared at Jin.

“It’s nothing really, Y/N.” Jin stated simply.

“If last night was a one time thing, or if you aren’t really into me like that, please just let me know now.” You could feel the tears threatening to bust through the weak dam that was holding them back.

“What in the hell are you talking about? Last night was definitely not a one time thing. And.” he paused, his features softening as he leaned forward, both of his hands on either of your knees. “I am so into you. Did last night not show that?”

You felt your cheeks blush. Last night was magical, in the corniest meaning of word, but still.

“Then why won’t you tell me what you and Joon were talking about?”

“Because. I don’t know if it will even happen. But here it is. They are starting touring dates soon. I was debating on going with them. If I do, I will miss out on therapy, and maybe backtrack on my progress. But if I don’t, worry that I might have regrets. I’m leaning towards going.”

You sat back into the couch cushions. You knew that this group was his life, even if he couldn’t participate. If he stayed behind, then you knew he would regret it. You had to convince him to go, even if it meant you wouldn’t see him for some time.

“Go.” you stated abruptly. Jin stared into your eyes. Were you telling him to go?

“Just like that? Aren’t you afraid that all the work you have put into my therapy will go to waste?”

“I’ll go with you.” You covered your mouth quickly. Did you really just say that you would go with them? Would you? Of course you knew the answer to that question.

“Really? You would do that? If you went, then you could help me continue therapy. And we could spend more time together.” There goes that eyebrow wiggle that you have come to adore.

“Why not? You even said I need a break. I just don’t want it to appear that I am going just because I am hopelessly in love with someone going.” You entire face flushed at your admittance of your feelings towards Jin. A huge grin lit up his face. He joy he was feeling had him feeling a strange giddiness within him.

“Did you just admit you love me? Why Miss Y/N. I must say though, that the feeling is most mutual. Especially after last night.” He grabbed your arms and pulled you forward, planting a kiss to your half parted lips. Your hands gripped his wrists as you steadied yourself. It was only when you heard throats clearing, that you broke away.

“So we have to get an extra plane ticket, huh?” Jimin asked from behind Jungkook. His smile told you that he was all for the idea.

“Guess so Jimin-ssi. Let go order it now.” Jungkook wrapped Jimin in a headlock as he drug him away.

“It will be nice having you around. Our own personal nurse.” Hoseok chimed in as he plopped down beside you. Jin smacked his leg jokingly.

“She’s my personal nurse, thank you. She is also my girlfriend, so don’t get any ideas heartthrob.”

Your eyes widened when Jin called you his girlfriend.

“I’m? I’m your girlfriend?” you stuttered, to the amusement of both Jin and Hoseok.

“Woman, after last night, if I could make you more than my girlfriend, I would. But I’ll have to settle for girlfriend right now.”

“Jin’s got a girlfriend y’all!” Hoseok hollered through the dorms with that knowing smirk on his face.

“We will not live this down, will we?” You asked through your hands that covered your beet red face.

“No way in hell beautiful.” Jin took your hands from your face, tilting his head to look you in the eyes.

“I can’t wait till I can show you the kind of lover I want to be to you.” Kissing your nose, he took your hand and made you follow him to the bedroom.

“We need to get cleaned up for the day. We have a planning meeting later and I want you to attend since you’re going with us.” Jin threw some clothes on the bed, while you rummaged through your bag for a change of clothes. Once you had both showered, and got dressed, you headed out with them to the meeting. They used the excuse that you would need to be there in case something happened, just as a precaution. Of course they believed that, seeing that you had been his nurse for almost six months now. The more oblivious they were, the better. You then called your own work and told them the plans for your travel. Thankfully with the freedom your certain position held, you were given clearance without any problem. The only thing left was to get ready.

@beautifulseoulliar @astronomyturtle @aspaceformyself @dreamyoongi @holy-yoongi @trashkazuya @maxinaptak @micky1518 @rosiemilas @karri570 @jeontaes-world @mtgforall

@seoulsunshineandstories @kwonnansi @xjamlessparkx @berryjam17

@flora-jimin

#kim seokjin #BTS jin #jin angst #jin fluff #jin smut #jin x reader

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basically-i-write-shit · 5 years

Note

wow, just read that ice skating AU with Tsukki being Yams coach. I love it. It was also sad in the end, since his little sister said that not many are nice to her older brother. I had an idea. what if one day Yama shows up with a bruised eye right before a competition. Hotarou is upset since her bro doesn't tell her anything and Tsukki is upset becuse Yama cant compete looking like that but also worried. Yama tries to hold it together but breaks down during practice on the ice (1)

(2) and Yama tells him that just some boys in his class decided to give it to him since he is an ice skater & calls him slurs becuse of it. Tsukki can’t really do anything, but he is upset about the whole situation. And Yama cries more bc Tsukki is kind of like his only friend despite their age difference. They talk for a while and Tsukki buys him french fries and hamburger since that is his fave food and Yama is in fucking tears. its okay since he isn't going to compete :) Hotarou approves!!!

I forgoooot about this god bless u anon

Tadashi is late. Again. Unlike last time he was late, Kei is on time, and waiting impatiently. He takes the liberty to skate laps while he waits, thinking of a suitable punishment for showing up late a week before a competition. Seriously, there’s only so many competitions Tadashi can compete in that aren’t national competitions, and Kei still hasn’t convinced him on that yet.

He’s making his third leisurely lap around the rink when Tadashi stumbles in, holding a crying Hotarou. Kei can’t see Tadashi’s face, but he assumes he’s fine-- he’s more focused on Hotarou. He rushes over to the door and climbs rinkside, kneeling at Hotarou’s side as Tadashi sets her on the bench and rushes into the bathroom.

“Hotarou-chan, are you okay Did you trip and fall outside?” He checks her over for scrapes, but can’t find one. Hotarou keeps crying, her little hands pressed over her eyes. Kei helplessly fumbles, searching for something to do. He’s no good with crying, kids, or crying kids. God, why did Tadashi rush off? “Hotarou-chan, I need you to tell me what’s wrong, okay?”

“S- Someone h- hu-- hurt Tada-nii!..”

“Wha--” Kei frowns, brows furrowing. “Someone hurt Tadashi?”

“I-- It was so scar- y!..” Hotrou throws herself at Kei, clinging to his shirt, and Kei wraps his arms around her, rubbing his back.

“Shh, it’s okay, Hotarou. It’s okay. Hey-- can I leave you right here while I go check on Tadashi? I’ll be right back.” Hotarou nods, sniffling, and Kei grabs a blanket and wraps it around her. He ruffles her hair and goes to the bathroom, steaming with anger. “Alright, who did it?”

Tadashi is locked in a stall, sniffling. “I- I don’t-- kno- kn- know what you mean.”

“Yamaguchi, don’t lie. Hotarou-chan said someone hurt you. Now open up.”

A moment later, the stall door opens and Tadashi steps out. There’s blood on his school shirt. That’s-- not good. Tadashi’s holding a hand to a bloody nose, and Kei thinks that’s the extent of that. Thank god. He lifts Tadashi with ease and sits him on the counter, wetting a cloth and wiping the sweat from his face. There’s a bruise forming on left eye, and that...that won’t be good for competition. He combs Tadashi’s hair from his face.

“They jumped me on my way to pick up Hotarou...She scared them away by screaming when she came out of the rec center.” Tadashi whispers.

“Tell me you had someone chase after them. That’s-- That’s assault..!”

Tadashi looks down, ashamed. Kei sighs before he tilts his head back.

“Hotarou was crying, and I was bleeding. No one saw-- I just wanted to get here. Please, let’s just ignore it and get to work. My routine needs to be perfect for next week.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re looking at the wall, not at me, Tadashi.” Kei sighs. This just isn’t good. “I’m gonna call your mom and take you to the clinic. You have a concussion.”

“Wh- Wha-- No, I can’t! I’m fine, Tsukki. Really.”

“I don’t think so. We’re taking you to the clinic.” Kei pulls Tadashi off the counter, holding him as he walks him out. “Hotarou, will you help carry Tadashi’s skate bag please?”

“Y- Yes, Kei-Sensei! Is-- Is Tada-nii gonna be okay?..”

Kei pats Hotarou’s head, smiling. “We’re gonna take him to the doctor, and he’ll be just fine, Hotarou-chan.”

And he is. Well-- mostly. He has a mild concussion and he’s not able to get on the ice for a couple of days. He isn’t able to compete because of the practice he missed due to the concussion; a week later, on his first day back, he comes back to the rink on time, though he’s a bit jumpy and paranoid. Hotarou is looking a lot happier than the last time Kei saw her.

“Okay, Yamaguchi, we’re going to work on your routine so we can get you ready for a competition in Tokyo in a month.”

“Right.” Tadashi’s been distracted. He sighs, closing his eyes. “I kinda lost a lot of practice time, didn’t I, Tsukki?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to have you practicing on a concussion. A fall could make it worse.” Kei hops up on the side of the rink and presses play on his phone, the speakers playing the song Tadashi arranged for the competition. About halfway through practice, Kei shuts off the music. Tadashi just can’t focus, and he’s falling more than usual. Kei can tell there’s something on his mind. “Yamaguchi, are you feeling alright?”

Tadashi startles, nodding vigorously. “I- I’m fine, Tsukki. Just a bit frustrated. I’m not landing that last triple!”

Kei nods, humming. There’s an awkward silence, before Tadashi clears his throat.

“I- I...don’t think I wanna go to competition, Tsukki.”

Kei blinks. “...What? Why?”

“I dunno. I just-- I start uni in in a month, I don’t wanna be known as the ‘figure skater’ in college.”

“Yamaguchi...You love skating. Why would you quit?”

“I won’t quit, I’ll just keep renting private ice.”

“You promised me you’d compete until your second year of university.” Kei says. He runs a hand through his hair, looking away. He wouldn’t admit it, but he feels...betrayed. “Yamaguchi, you promised.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t feel like getting beat up in the streets and called a fag in front of my baby sister again, okay?!”

Tadashi’s words echo through the rink, and Kei is glad he sent Hotarou to the other rink down the hall with Kuroo and the other fun-time skaters.

“...What?”

Tadashi’s knees wobble and he collapses on the ice, sobbing. “They called me a fag, Tsukki. While they were beating me to a pulp, they called me every slur in the book, and spit at me. B- Because some of the guys found out I figure skate and thought that was good enough reason to beat me up..!”

Kei kneels at Tadashi’s side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Tadashi, that’s...horrible.”

“Yeah, well I know that, Tsukki. Thanks!” Tadashi’s head falls into his hands with a whimper, and Kei carefully pulls him into a hug, sitting on the ice despite how cold it is. They’d both regret it later, but Tadashi needs Kei right now.

“Do you know who did this?”

“S- Some guys from my class...”

He nods. “And they got in some big trouble for this, right?”

“No--” Tadashi shakes his head. “No, I can’t tell on them, they’ll get even more mad. I don’t-- I don’t wanna-- know what they’d do to me.”

“Tadashi you need to tell someone so this never happens again.”

“B- But--” Tadashi whimpers. “Tsukki, what if they’re right?..What if-- What would you do if I...was...gay?"

The rink is dead silent for a few seconds.

“Well I wouldn’t beat the hell out of you and give you a concussion, that’s for sure. I’d support you. Just like I’ll support you quitting skating if that’s what you really want, and not because some assholes think it’s funny to pick on people for things they can’t change about themselves.”

Tadashi sniffles, turning his head to look at Kei. “R- Really?..”

Kei smiles. “Really.”

“If I go make a police report...will you come with me?” Tadashi asks weakly. “I don’t wanna bother or scare mom, and I-- well, I don’t have anyone else to go with...”

Kei nods. He know how bad Tadashi’s school life is. It feels nice to be needed-- because, well, as much as Kei pretended he was this big bad guy who doesn’t need friends, but he does get lonely. And he knows Tadashi does too.

“I will, Tadashi.” He pats his shoulder. “I promise. But will you please, please keep skating? Finish this competition, and then tell me how you feel.”

Tadashi nods, sniffling. “I will.”

Kei smiles, ruffling his hair, and climbs up. He offers a hand and helps Tadashi onto his skates again. “Let’s practice for another hour, get that police report done, and...well, you have a competition in a month, but I suppose I can let you have McDonalds tonight just for tonight-- since you’re being so brave and going through with this. My treat.”

Tadashi beams happily. “Large fry?”

“You’re pushing it, Yamaguchi-kun.”

“Aw, I’m Yamaguchi-kun again? So mean, Tsukishima-sensei~”

“Just get back to practice before I make you do laps.” Kei says, skating to the edge of the rink and hops up on the side again, pressing play on the speaker. Tadashi laughs, getting into position, and though he teases Kei for yelling at him (”your step sequence is sloppy!” “Slow down on that quad until you can land it without stumbling.”), he makes sure to listen to his criticism seriously and adjust what he needs.

After the crying, he’s a lot better. Both emotionally and in practice. It’s reassuring to Kei, at least. He’s happy, for at least a moment.

When practice is over, they leave Hotarou with Kuroo for another half an hour while they go a block over to the police station and file a report about the incident, but there’s not a lot they can do since it was a week ago and he doesn’t remember much because of the concussion. But it makes him feel better, at least.

When they finally make it back to the rink, Hotarou bounces up to them with a bright grin.

“Kei-sensei, Tada-nii-chan, how was practice?!”

“Great, Tarou-chan! My routine is going great.” He pinches her cheek with a smile, grabbing his skate bag with one hand and her hand with the other. Kei grabs her other hand, smiling at the happy squeal she gives when he tells her he’ll buy her a happy meal.

Tadashi catches his eyes, smiling, and mouths a silent “thank you” to him-- not just for volunteering to get Hotarou food so he didn’t have to use the rest of his allowance buying her a happy meal.

When Kei comes to the rink the next morning, well-- he’s relieved to see Tadashi come back. And he's going to make sure Tadashi wins his next competition, so he can see him skate even more.

#haikyuu!!#tsukkiyama #yamaguchi tadashi #tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima #tadashi yamaguchi #fluff #figure skating au

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firemedicdiaz · 7 years

Text

Getting Past Precedent

Fandom: Star Trek AOS/TOS. Pairing: Leonard McCoy X Reader. Prompt: Anon requested - Would you please consider writing about Bones helping the reader whose eating disorder severely flared up after she has been stable for years? He can’t be and doesn’t want to be her counsellor, but as her fiancé, he loves her and supports her emotionally. Regarding her physical health, he goes all CMO. He is protective and may seem uncompromising to keep her safe and to cope his own fears. Word Count: 2804. Warnings: description of an eating disorder (anorexia), depression, anxiety, minor medical procedures. Rating: Teen+. Summary: There’s not much that escapes Leonard’s notice, least of all when it’s slowly chipping away at the love of his life. Author’s Note: Another request that has taken me forever to get to, eek! Thank you to the anon who requested this for being so patient - you’re a rock star! Throughout my own life I’ve suffered from two distinct eating disorders at various stages, so some of what’s in this fic comes from my own experience, but it is not by any means a universal guide to EDs. As such, I haven’t included any particular details behind why reader’s ED has flared up. Finally, if you’re struggling, please seek professional help - you can absolutely beat this. If you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. I believe in you.

Getting Past Precedent

You don’t even realize that Leonard’s been watching you across the table until he reaches out for your free hand, stroking the back of it gently with his fingertips while you push the unfinished half of your salad around on your plate with a fork.

“Everything alright, sweetheart?” Leonard asks over the din of the mess hall.

“Hmm?” You intone lightly, glancing up at him. “Oh, yeah, fine, just not feeling the salad today.”

“I can bring you something else,” Leonard offers. “Some soup, a bowl of ice cream? You need to eat, darlin’.”

You smile softly at him and shake your head.

“Really, I’m fine,” you assure him. “I had a big lunch earlier and I’m too distracted to eat. I’ve got a big project I need to present to the admiralty next week.”

Leonard doesn’t looked pleased with your response, but he leaves it alone for the time being. Still, you can feel him watching you like a hawk for the rest of your dinner break, and you’re glad to be able to make an exit to get back to your duties when the chron strikes eighteen hundred hours.

The rest of your shift passes by uneventfully, and after you’ve handed your work over to the next shift you make your way to your quarters feeling utterly exhausted. Shutting the door behind yourself as you step into your private space lets you take your first deep, relaxed breath of the day and you groan tiredly as you step into the kitchenette for a glass of water.

The smell of something rich and savory hits your nose and you glance around, rolling your eyes as you find a tray with some soup, saltine crackers, and fresh fruit slices on it on your countertop with a small, folded piece of paper. Picking it up, you skim through what’s written on the card with a sigh.

Eat this and then get some rest. Doctor’s orders. - Len

Setting the card back down on the tray, you turn back to the replicator and retrieve the glass of water you’d set it to pour, sipping from it slowly as you make your way to your bedroom to freshen up for the night.

The rest of the evening passes by without incident and the morning brings more of the same. Skipping breakfast, you fetch another glass of water and make your way to the couch to start making a dent in some of the reading you have backlogged. You’re not on active duty today, thankfully, but you still have things to do. At least you don’t have to change out of your pajamas for anything.

A few hours pass by and you don’t even realize that it’s well after noon. Your hunger pangs mean nothing to you these days - they’re almost constantly present, so their manifestation isn’t coincident with the fact that you’ve missed lunch any more than it is with any other event.

A knock on your door gets your attention and you curse inwardly as you look at the chron, realizing you’ve missed a lunch date you’d promised to have with Leonard. Standing swiftly, you throw a hand out to steady yourself against the arm of the couch as dizziness knocks you off kilter for a moment. You’re just about to attempt to make it to the door to open it when you hear your passcode being punched in and you know instinctively that it’s Leonard on the other side.

“Hey,” you say with a smile, straightening up in an attempt to look like nothing’s amiss. “I’m so sorry - I totally lost track of time.”

Leonard’s not fooled by your try at nonchalance. His expression is concerned as he crosses the room to stand beside you and puts a hand under your elbow to help steady you. He guides you back into a seated position and sits beside you, turning his body so he can face you better.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” He asks.

You furrow your eyebrows, feigning concern.

“What do you mean?” You ask by way of answer.

“I’m worried about you,” he elaborates. “For weeks now you’ve barely been eating. You’re drawn, tired all the time, losing your balance. I can tell you’re losing weight, and that you’ve been trying to avoid me.”

You sigh deeply and close your eyes, turning your head so you can avert your gaze when you open them again.

“Why haven’t you come down to med bay if you haven’t been feeling well?” Leonard asks. “I’m sure Geoff would be happy to take a look at you and get this sorted out.”

You shake your head.

“I’m fine,” you emphasize.

Leonard runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. Even out of the periphery of your gaze you can tell that he’s not fooled.

“I’m sorry, sugar,” he says quietly. “But I can’t sit by and watch you sabotage yourself anymore. I know you haven’t been eating, and with all the other signs, with your untouched soup from last night on the counter… I can’t pretend like I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I was hoping you’d come to me, but now that you’re putting yourself at physical risk and it’s becoming unsafe for you to do your job, I have to step in.”

You whip your head around to look at him as he mentions your duties and tears prickle at your eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the anorexia, sugar?” He asks, his voice defeated, his expression sad.

The tears building in your eyes finally spill over as the word rolls off of his lips. That dreadful word that you’ve heard so many times before from your parents, your doctors, your therapists. Biting your lip to keep from sobbing, you reach up and shakily wipe at the tears cascading down your cheeks and clinging to your dry, cracked lips.

“I thought you’d have seen it in my file,” you say, your voice hollow.

Leonard shakes his head, reaching out slowly to rest a hand on your knee.

“I respect your privacy,” he explains. “I’ve never had any reason to go into your files, so I never have.”

You grit your teeth together to hold back more sobs as you realize that his trust in you has been wildly misplaced throughout all the time you’ve been dating because you’d relied on him finding out about your condition without you having to have that hard conversation. Burying your face in your hands, you feel yourself trembling under the weight of your emotions.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper.

“No, sweetheart,” Leonard says, moving a little closer. “Don’t ever apologize for being sick.”

You’re expecting some sort of admonishment for not opening up sooner, but instead you’re met with a protective, comforting embrace. Leonard pulls you gently into his lap and winds his arms more tightly around you, stroking your back in soothing circles.

The two of you stay there for the next hour, with Leonard holding you through bouts of crying and despondency. You’re afraid to look up at him, to see any sort of disappointment or disproval in his eyes, but you know you can’t stay like this forever. After a few minutes of slow, measured breathing and steeling yourself, you finally find the strength to pull away from him and look up.

“Are you going to pull me from duty?” You ask quietly, stuttering a little for fear of the answer.

“Not yet,” Leonard says softly, reaching out to nudge your chin up to encourage you to keep looking at him as you make to avert your gaze. “I’m not saying it’s not a possibility down the road if you continue on this trajectory, but no one’s making any rash decisions right now.”

Silence passes between the two of you for a few beats as you consider his words.

“What will it take to keep me on the ship?” You query further. “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to anyone about this…”

“I’m not going to force you to talk to anyone right now,” Leonard reassures you. “I will encourage you to see one of the ship’s counsellors very soon, but the first step is to make sure your physical health is taken care of.”

You nod, averting your gaze as you consider the implications of his words. Your heart sinks at the thought of having to rehash the story with Dr. M’Benga and you sigh.

“Can you do it?” You ask quietly. “I just don’t want anyone else to know.”

Leonard reaches out to take your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I think I can swing it,” he agrees. “With my experience in psychiatry I’m probably the best qualified on board to handle your case and I’m sure Starfleet could be persuaded if they have any issue with it.”

“Alright,” you say after a moment of letting his words resonate. “I’m guessing you want to do this now?”

“If this has been going on for as long as I think it has, the sooner the better,” Leonard offers.

You nod and sigh, gesturing toward the door.

“After you,” you say flatly.

You watch Leonard as he gets to his feet and reach up to take his hand as he offers it to help you up. As soon as you’re on your feet, the edges of your vision start to grey out a little bit and you sway, nearly toppling back onto the couch before Leonard catches you and pulls you in close to help support you.

“Easy, darlin’,” he says softly. “I’ve got you.”

You lean into him, letting him take some of your weight until you feel a little steadier. He’s still got a hold of the hand he helped you up by and as you regain your balance, his other hand comes up as well, his fingertips finding the pulse point in your wrist easily. You still and allow him to measure your heart rate, leaning your head against his shoulder as he does.

“Your pulse is racing, sugar,” he says with a frown. “Come on, let’s get you looked after.”

He lets go of your hand and wraps an arm around your waist to support you as he leads you slowly out of your quarters. It takes less than three minutes for the two of you to reach medical and when you do Leonard leads you straight over to a private room. He gives you a hand up onto the bio bed and rests a palm gently on your shoulder.

“Lie back,” he instructs you.

You do as you’re told and close your eyes as the bio bed whirrs to life beneath you. Leonard works over you in silence for the next several minutes and you resign yourself to behaving. Eventually, when several more minutes pass by without incident, you open your eyes and glance over at him, finding him poring over what you assume to be your results on his PADD.

“What’s up, doc?” You ask as you sit up and swing your legs over the edge of the bed, worried for the answer.

“Your results aren’t ideal,” he explains. “But they’re not as bad as I expected. Before I let you go I’m going to give you a shot of something that’ll bring your electrolytes back into balance and supplement some of the trace nutrients you’re deficient in. After that it’ll be up to you to start reintroducing food so you can get everything back to a healthy level.”

The mere thought of having to eat twists at your stomach and makes you feel sick, but you nod anyway knowing you have no choice if you want to stay on the Enterprise and carry on your research. Your thoughts are racing so much that you don’t even realize you’ve withdrawn into all sorts of worst case scenarios and dreadful outcomes until you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder, jarring you back into the present.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He presses softly.

You take a slow, shuddering breath and nod as your lip trembles – a prelude to more tears.

“I’m scared,” you say between sobs. “I’m not good at talking to people and I hate talking about myself most of all and I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I can eat anything now even if I try.”

Leonard steps as close to the bed as he can and leans closer to you, wrapping his arms around you. He pulls you into a tight hug and presses a kiss to your forehead as he murmurs soft reassurances and promises.

“You can do it,” Leonard assures you. “I promise. I know you, darlin’ – you’re more than strong enough to beat this. You beat it once, you can beat it again, and you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here for you. I’ll be with you every step of the way if you want me to be. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

You nod numbly, reassured but now also afraid of letting him down even more.

“What if I’m not strong enough?” You whisper.

“Then we pick you up, dust you off, and try again,” Leonard says softly. “It’s okay to get it wrong, to need more than one try, to fail and have to start over. All I ask is that you communicate with me. If you tell me that you’re spiraling, I can help you get back on track.”

“Okay,” you say weakly, reaching up with a shaky hand to wipe away your tears only to be foiled by Leonard’s hand coming up to do it for you.

“Besides,” he says as he carefully rubs away the thin rivulets of water on your cheeks. “Even failure is progress in a forward trajectory; it means you got out there and tried, and that’s all I can ask of you.”

His words are reassuring even though they don’t do much to quell the terror in your heart and you grip him just a little tighter, a little closer, as though to draw strength from him with which to steel your resolve. He keeps his arms wrapped around you for as long as you need them there and pulls away slowly even when you’re finally ready to let go and sit back.

You fold your hands in your lap as Leonard steps away a few moments later, watching him bustle around and prepare the hypo he’d mentioned. You obediently expose your neck when he returns to your side and close your eyes tightly as he injects you, relaxing when his thumb rubs gentle circles over the injection site to help soothe the prickling there.

“Let’s head up to my quarters,” Leonard suggests, dropping his hand away from your neck and stepping aside to dispose of the hypo cartridge. “I want you to have lunch with me. We’ll start small – I’ll make you a cup of herbal tea – and work our way up from there.”

“I hope you’re not expecting a miracle,” you murmur.

Leonard shakes his head, returning to your side and offering you a hand down from the bio bed.

“An attempt at a bowl of soup, that’s all I ask,” he assures you. “And if it’s too much, too soon, we’ll think of something else.”

“Okay,” you agree quietly. “Thank you, Len. Not just for this… For everything. For not being angry with me, for not being disappointed in me.”

“Oh sweetheart,” he says gently, his voice thick with heartache for you. “I can tell this hasn’t gone well for you in the past, and I’m the one who’s sorry. I wish I could have reassured you sooner.”

You smile weakly, your spirit buoyed by hope again, and you finally hop off of the bed. You lean in to embrace Leonard again briefly and reach out to entwine the fingers of one of your hands with one of his.

“I’m sure I’m going to need reassurance often over the next few months,” you say. “So hold that thought – there’ll be more than enough time for all of that.”

Leonard squeezes your hand and nods, turning to make his way out of the room with you at his side. As the two of you make your way out of sick bay and toward his quarters, you do your best to focus on the small flickering flame of hope you feel inside rather than the crippling amount of doubt and dread. A weight has been lifted off of your shoulders with Leonard finding out about your condition, and while you’re still reeling from the revelation, you also feel somewhat better prepared to face whatever comes your way.

You know that with Leonard by your side, you can handle anything the universe throws at you.

@starshiphufflebadger @star-trekkin-across-theuniverse @imamotherfuckingstar-lord @feelmyroarrrr @ababyinatrenchcoat @the-alpha-otter @alluramc @medicatemedrmccoy @arrowsshootyouforwards @wonders-of-the-multiverse @answer-the-sirens @devanshade @dolamrothianlady @startrekimagines @theonlyparadox @itsjaynebird @mccoymostly @goodnightwife @thevalesofanduin @distinguishedqueenofbooks @elsa-lost-in-translation @yourtropegirl @gryffindor9whovian @auduna-druitt @archangels-lollipop @bookcaseninja @supermoonpanda @bubblegum-star-trek @sergeantangel @pinkamour1588 @webhoard @the-space-goddess-16 @bkwrm523 @starmission @captain-amelia-bradley @startled-seastar @sassmasterqueen @shewolf-2013 @littlecarowrites @enterprisefeels @eyeofdionysus @nasanatmfers @galaxycharmed @emmkolenn @captainsili @mysteriously-lost-forever @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @xanaphorax

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plaidstiel-wormstache · 7 years

Text

Surprises

AN: This one is for @dancingalone21‘s Lau’s Summer Challenge, sorry for being a week late. But as promised, I’m posting today! Thank you to @notnaturalanahi for reading over it and reassuring me it wasn’t too much or too little. No hate to Gen and the boys, I do truly love them, but for our imaginations, lets say this happened in a parallel universe. Warnings: fluff, pics (trust me it is a warning), crack and maybe a tiny bit of flangst?, but this IS a SFW piece. RPF, but this Jared can be read as Sam. And just a heads up, there s private note from me to you at the end of this and that’s personal and angst ridden, so if you need to, once finished, stop. Word Count: 3,744 Characters: Jared x Reader, mention of a few OC’s but no need to worry! Summary: Jared is a master of surprises, when he can get YN to shut up long enough!

Twenty five minutes after YN should’ve been long gone, fifteen minutes after she would’ve been on a bus, five minutes after she would’ve BEEN home - YN was still at work. A monkey would’ve been more effective in the roll opposite her.

Finally she wrapped up, sent the last email and shut down her computer, before running for the bus. She caught her breath and got a seat then pulled out her phone to send Jared a text, telling him how sorry she was for her colleagues idiocy and when he could expect her. But when the screen lit up, it was just a constant scroll of “Secret BMaids Biz”. 140 messages, and it was still coming in heavy. YN sighed and sent the text to Jared then began to read. This would surely keep her preoccupied for the ride home.

“OH MY GOD!” YN announced as soon as she was through the door. “Hey ba-” Jared tried, but YN had already broken the seal that was her pent up rant. “This Secret Be Maid Biz, crap… You wouldn’t even believe it. It’s looking to be almost two hundred each, and that’s not even including flights or accommodation.” YN dumped her handbag next to the side table and dropped her keys into the bowl, not noticing the two plates of dinner in front of Jared, or the blue velvet box that was sitting between them. Jared was patient, just listened as she continued her rant, knowing she’d get it all out and then he could have the moment with her. “Like, flower crowns? Really… why do we need flower crowns that are going to cost twenty each?” YN made a beeline for the fridge, lifting out the bottle of wine, undoing the cap and taking a swig as she got a glass down from the shelf. “And they want topless waiters, that’s gonna cost I dunno how much, depends on how many people go, and then they’re talking about twerking classes, and fuckin’,” YN took a gulp of the wine and topped it up, “Mani-pedis, that are just gonna get taken off in a week for the wedding.” Jared buzzed from his spot on the couch, listening as best he could, he was also so aware of the ring that was waiting for a finger to go on, he was so excited to ask, he almost couldn’t even think about the food he’d made, or even begin to take in all the bridesmaid drama she was sprouting. “If they want to pay a hundred and twenty five for all that, I’m happy to put on some nipple tassels, go topless and paint everyone’s nails, make flower crowns and,” YN planted a kiss to Jared’s head as she rounded the lounge, but she didn’t stop talking, “serve drinks, I’d do it all nude if that’s what they’d pay me!”

She plonked down onto the sofa and took a large gulp from her glass. Jared’s cheeks were slightly flushed, a small smile played at the corner of his mouth as he watched her launch back into the rant, leaning forward to push her glass further along the table from where she’d balanced it on the edge. “And, and, the way they all go on about it, it’s like it’s tomorrow. Seriously-- that smells amazing by the way.” She added, Jared almost missed the inserted comment, nodding and stroking her thigh as she continued. “Get this, they NEED me there,” YN sat forward and began to remove her sweater, “Fuck off, I don’t know any of you, you are expecting twenty-eight people. You don’t need shit from me.” The sweater came over her head, her hair coming with it, falling over her face. Jared took the sweater from her while she flipped her hair back into place, not missing a beat.

“And this is all before flights, so add two hundred on top of that, another hundred for a place to stay, even though they’ve booked an apartment, come on! It’s got three beds, and how many people are coming from the east coast?” YN reached down and pulled off her shoes, throwing them over the back of the lounge, “How many are coming from a different state? It’s not gonna fit us all. And I know, she’s offered to pay a bit to have me there, and you’ve offered and her mum has, but I’m not letting anyone do that. If she desperately wanted me there, she would’ve - Sorry, did you want one?” YN said, interrupting herself, noticing Jared’s eyes flicking to the table. He smiled and shook his head, mouth open to decline but she continued on, earning a snort of a chuckle from him.

“I’m not bitter about being asked after Emma couldn’t make it. All I’m saying is,” YN reached to her back and unclasped her bra, under her shirt, “If I’m like a ‘sister’ to her, as she keeps reminding me, wouldn’t you think I’d be a first thought?” She pulled her right arm into her sleeve and fumbled around before sticking it back out, “I mean, her mum, the other night, congratulated me on getting bridesmaid, then proceeded to tell me how Amy said she should’ve just asked me in the first place, and how did she not think of that and…” YN pulled her bra out of her other sleeve and hung the offending material over the arm of the couch. “I love Amy, I do, but she’s really showing her true colors, I’m not hurt because I know Amy. If you’re emotionally invested, you’re gonna get yourself hurt.” YN began to arrange the pillows behind her. “So off topic, well, no, but-- anyway. The point is, these bridesmaids are so over the top, promise me,” YN sat back, testing how comfy her arrangement was and seemingly decided it was perfect, she sat forward reaching blindly for her wine, “We’ll never do any of that.” YN glanced down to look at where her wine was, missing the fall of Jared’s face at her last words, instead noticing the box. “Oh my god, Jared.” She breathed, looking back up to him, seeing the hang of his head, the crease of his brow. “No babe, I didn’t mean… No-- I-- oh my god. Jared?” She put a hand on his thigh and tucked a finger under his chin, pushing him to look at her. “Surprise.” He muttered, crestfallen. She gaped at him, she didn’t know whether to fling herself at him or dig her own grave. She reached for the box, taking his hand and putting it in his large grasp. “I love you. I love us.” She promised, putting her thumb on the opening of the box, she looked up at him and he shrugged, not minding if she opened it or not.

The ring was stunning, and seemed to mirror what she had said when they were sitting in bed a year and a half ago after Amy had sent a picture of her engagement ring. “Why do women like these big ass diamonds? They’re so in ya face.” “What would you want? Let me guess, color?” Jared had laughed, pulling her into his side and taking the phone from her to look over the picture. “Laugh all you want, but I want green,” “Of course you do.” Another laugh from Jared as he handed back the phone. “Yeah, and I want something unique, something you don’t see on everyone’s finger.”

“Jared, it’s beautiful.” She whispered, she couldn’t take her eyes off it, so she didn’t even see the light that had sparked in Jared’s eyes, her comment giving him hope again. “So…” She looked up at his quiet word. “Ask me.” She begged, she was almost on her knees in front of him of his side of the couch, inches from his face, her eyes round and wide, waiting for him to say those magical words. A sly smile came across his face as he thought of how to phrase his question. “Will you not have a big wedding with me?” He managed to get out the whole question before her lips were on his. “Yes, Jared Padalecki, I will have the happiest, littlest, wedding with you!” Jared smiled as he pulled her back into a kiss, teeth clashing as they both smiled into it. Jared pulled back, both of them wiping the other’s tears, before he took her hand and pulled the ring from the box, sliding the ring into place on her left ring finger, kissing over it before moving back to her lips. Dinner long forgotten.

“From this moment, I take you as my best friend. I pledge to encourage, support and respect you through our life together. When this path becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union, we can be stronger than we would ever hope to be apart. “I promise to be your number one fan, and be your ever present, listening and captivated audience. I promise to always grab your butt, even when we’re old and wrinkly. And I promise to always linger in our kisses. “For you, I will strive to be a better me, for you I will try to not rant as much, and for you, I promise, to learn how to cook.” Though there were a few muffled laughs from their parents, siblings and friends throughout the vows, this last line, got a loud “praise be” from YN’s mother. The Judge announced Jared and YN, husband and wife and smiled as they kissed. And as YN had promised, she lingered, pecking him twice more as Jared smiled against her lips. Instead of a wedding in the traditional sense they had a service at the court with immediate family, and friends they couldn’t imagine living without. After the ceremony, wedding bands in place, they all headed off to the big party, where their friends and extended family awaited, to celebrate their love. This way, in YN’s eyes, there was no fuss, no fight over who was a bridesmaid, extra expenses, and Jared had asked that the only gift they received, if people felt they need to give, was money to a flight agent for a secret honeymoon he was planning. And no matter how YN nagged at him, he hadn’t given in just yet.

“It says New Zealand, we’re going to New Zealand?” YN questioned as she looked at the ticket he’d handed her. Jared smiled and shook his head. “And here’s the tickets to your connecting flight, Mister Padalecki.” The stewardess behind the desk said, sliding the tickets, tucked into the passports, back across the counter, smiling when YN tried to get them before Jared snatched them up. “It’s a surprise, she doesn’t know where we’re headed yet.” Jared explained, tucking the travel documents into a pocket inside his jacket. “Ah well, may I say, I am very jealous of your destination!” The stewardess beamed, “And congratulations on your recent marriage.” “Thank you!” YN chimed, before steering Jared away from the desk, tucked under his arm, staring at him, hoping her defiant glare would make him finally crack. “Let’s go get that free champagne,” He teased, ignoring her look as he guided her towards the first class lounge.

For the first couple of hours of the flight it was excited chatter, a game of guesses for YN. She was begging for Jared to give her clues, throwing out places of where New Zealand could connect to. “Australia?” Jared pulled a maybe face but finally shook his head. “Tahiti?” She guessed again, causing him to laugh. “Nope.” “Come on give me a clue.” She pleaded, pulling out all the stops with her puppy dog eyes and pouted lips. “Just trust me, you’ll love it.” He said, leaning forward to give her a kiss, surprised when she pulled back. “If you give me a clue, I’ll give you a kiss.” She bartered, Jared took a deep breath and sighed. “Water.” He murmured, puckering his lips for his kiss now that he’d given a clue. YN turned her head, forgetting the kiss, deep in thought. “Noumea?” She questioned, looking back to him. He placed his hand at the back of her head and pulled her in for an inescapable kiss. “Nope.” He whispered, giving the tip of her nose a kiss before settling back into his seat and turning to the screen in front of him, leaving her to wonder.

Jared stopped in front of the large screen with all the different flight times and gates on it, he looked down the list and smiled. He bent to YN’s ear, his arms wrapped around her waist, her head leaning back against his chest. Her eyes were barely open as he whispered the flight number into her ear. She began to sleepily scan the different flights and found the number. “Fiji? We’re going to Nadi?” She said excitedly, turning in his arms to look up at him. “Good surprise?” He asked, leaning down to peck her lips. “Best surprise,” She muttered as she pressed against his lips again.

“Bula!” Came the greeting of the staff as Mr & Mrs Padalecki hopped off the boat, bags being handed off to one of the big men in a hawaiian themed work shirt. YN smiled up at Jared as they were then offered complimentary drinks while the traditional welcome song started. The tiny island, off Nadi, was where they were to spend the next week and a half, an itinerary of different activities on request and plenty of downtime planned, they were set for one hell of a honeymoon. “Welcome to Likuliku Lagoon Resort, if there is anything you need, please do not hesitate to call me. My name is Mali and I’m here to make sure you have the best time while celebrating your love for one another.” He said genuinely, not a hint of a smirk in sight as he stepped forward from the quickly disappearing welcome group. On the small golf buggy, their guide pointed out the different areas for activities, the bars and restaurants, the spa and other different spots. YN chatted away happily, asking different questions about the Island and the different activities they could book. “Here’s your suite, you’re at the end, as requested, you will not be disturbed unless called on. If you would like your room made up, please press the bell just inside the door, and someone will be there within the hour, or while you are at an activity.” Mali informed, YN blushed at the explanation and Jared caught it, knowing exactly what had gone through her mind, as it had his.

The bags were inside already, lovely swans made out of towels on the end of a bed covered in petals. “Happy Honeymoon!” Jared said once the door was closed behind them, their first chance of privacy in twenty-four hours. “This place is amazing!” She said, already sliding the door open to the deck, private plunge pool and sunbed. The view looked straight across a small patch of grass and over the sand to the ocean.

The room we are never leaving!

Our amazing deck, private pool and view of the ocean - five steps from our door!

“Jared, this would’ve cost an arm and a leg, and more!” She rounded on him, flinging herself into his arms as he joined her in the doorway. “You’re worth it.” He said simply before lifting her off her feet and carrying her back inside. “Why don’t we shed these clothes and have a shower?” She suggested, already winding a hand up the back of his shirt. He growled and nipped at her neck, loving the quiet moan that caught in her throat. Jared let go of her, reluctantly, and reached up to his collar, pulling the shirt over his head, finding she’d started to strip out of her dress as well. He followed her towards the bathroom, both kicking and shedding their remaining clothes, though he grabbed her hand when she started towards the small tiled shower. “There’s one outside.” He said, pulling her towards the glass doors that lead towards a pebbled wall, big stone slabs leading to the wide shower-head.

My beautiful girl in our outdoor shower.

After spending half a week moving from the bed, to the shower, to the sun bed, plunge pool and beach, hands always roaming over the other, never getting enough, YN spoke up. “I could make love to you for the full honeymoon, BUT,” “But,” Jared echoed with a chuckle, pulling her to straddle his lap while they sat in the plunge pool, her finger tracing circles in his chest hair. “Do you wanna do a different activity? Like jet ski, snorkeling, or even diving? I saw they do parasailing and they even have a golf course the resort over.” She suggested, her hand trailing up his neck, over his jaw, tracing the cupid’s bow of his lips. “You saw all that, hey?” He questioned, the smile that stretched his lips made her finger fall to his bottom lip, and he couldn’t resist but bite at it playfully. “I was looking through the pamphlet as you were sleeping.” She shrugged, retrieving her finger from between his teeth, frowning at him. “Why don’t we jet ski, that’ll be fun, we can do that tour they were talking about and take our snorkels.” He mused, placing a peck to her lips. And as she had vowed, she lingered.

Things we conquered together...

The next few days were busy and filled with activities, they even made friends with another couple while paragliding. By the end of the day and having done everything together they were set to spend the next day apart from their loved ones. Jared went off with Phil, the husband, ready for a men’s day of golf. While the girls suited up for a dive, to explore what the island’s reefs had to offer. After lunch and a long talk, Celia and YN went to the mainland for a spot of shopping.

Jared got his golf with Phil, YN got her dive with Celia.

On the last night, Jared had one more surprise. Little did he know, so did YN. “Jared, this is too much, we’re already married, you spoil me!” YN breathed as they approached the table Mali had set up for them. “I love you, and you deserve to be spoiled.” Jared said with a broad smile. “Mister Padalecki has already ordered for you both and there’s champagne open and waiting. Is there anything else I can get you?” Mali asked, holding Jared’s chair out for him after Jared had helped his wife. “Umm, actually, Mali, can I get a sparkling water? Instead of the champagne?” YN asked, smiling at Mali and ignoring the quirked brow coming from Jared. Our waiter nodded and headed off. “What’s up?” Jared asked, reaching across and taking YN’s hand, his thumb running back and forth over her knuckles as if it were a problem he could soothe. “Well, you might think you’re the master of surprises, but I have one for you.” YN licked her lips as Jared winked across at her. “What is it, or are you saving it for later?” Jared’s voice dropped to a growl and he wagged his eyebrows as her. “Stop, you hornbag!” She accused, swatting him playfully as he reached across and tucked a finger in the front of her dress to see what lingerie she was wearing. “You’ve been just as horn-baggy!” He shot back, stopping her foot under the table from traveling any further towards his crotch. She winked at him and then settled her elbows on the table. “Okay, in all seriousness, would you like your surprise now or later?” She asked, taking his hand again, this time her thumb ran over his knuckles. “Mali will be back any sec-” She tossed his hand at him and he sat back, body rocking with a boisterous laugh. “Now, I want my surprise now!” He answered, moving his chair around the table, closer to her. “You sure? You gotta get through dinner…” She waited as he thought. “Can I have a hint, is it a thing or is it … I dunno, something else?” He asked, placing a hand on her thigh as she turned to face him. “It’s a bit of both. It will be a thing. But at the moment it’s something else.” Her cryptic clue made him sit back and ponder. He looked back over to her and chewed on his bottom lip. “I want it now?” He asked as if there was a right or wrong answer. “You sure?” She giggled, taking his hand, her hand under his so his palm was facing up. “Yes,” she began to move his hand, “No. Ye-no, I don’t know. Do I want it now?” He asked again, this decision was really eating at him. “Why don’t I tell you when we’re halfway through dinner?” YN suggested, raising her eyebrows, the smile still on her lips, the one that hadn’t left since she’d got back from shopping with Celia. “Okay.” Jared breathed a sigh of relief, glad he didn’t have to make up his mind. They both looked out over the water as the sun set and the night sky was illuminated a shade of pink. There was a comfortable silence that fell between them as they both thought about the holiday they’d just shared. “Tell me now.” Jared blurted suddenly, startling YN but altogether making her laugh. “Okay, I’m just gonna say it, you don’t get to turn back,” She explained, giving him one last chance to pick later. “I’m pregnant!” She exclaimed as Jared opened his mouth to say something. His jaw hung open for a moment, he was staring, awestruck. “Jared, sweetheart, we’re pregnant.” She breathed, gently placing a palm on his cheek as she guided his upturned hand to her stomach. “When-- what-- how-- when did you find out? How did you?” Jared couldn’t decide what to ask first as he finally animated and looked between his hand on her stomach and her face. “We’re pregnant.” He breathed as she watched him, her rosy cheeks round and glowing as she smiled brightly at him. He pulled her into him, pressing his lips against hers in a passionate kiss. And as he pulled away for air, she lingered, foreheads touching as she whispered, “Happy Honeymoon!”

This is where our Honeymoon ended and our new life began xx

Hope you liked this. I just wanna take a moment to share a more serious note with you: after finishing this series and turning on the TV, the news came on and something I never thought would happen to me, happened - one of my friends from high school was on it. She had fallen ill while on her honeymoon in fiji and just as she was about to board the plane to come home to be treated, she passed away. With that in mind, can you please add Kelly and her husband Chase to your prayers, spare a thought for them, and hug your loved ones a little tighter? Here’s to you fatty, you’ll always be that bright smile at the back of the band.

Tagging: @atc74 @ackleholic-hunter @akshi8278 @arryn-nyxx @autopistaaningunaparte @avasmommy224 @babypieandwhiskey @beckawinchester @blacktithe7 @bringmesomepie56 @chaos-and-the-calm67 @charliebradbury1104 @chvalkenberg95 @clairese1980 @dancingalone21 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @fandoms-are-the-best-escape @frenchybell @gabby913 @grace-for-sale @green-love-red-fantasyhearts @hasta-impalasta @i-like-your-assbutt @ilostmyshoe-79 @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining @iwriteaboutdean @jalove-wecallhimdean @jensen-jarpad @kazchester-fanfiction @kristaparadowski @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @lipstickandwhiskey @lucifer-in-leather @lucis-unicorn @melonberri @manawhaat @mogarukes @mrswhozeewhatsis @munlis @nichelle-my-belle @notnaturalanahi @oriona75 @percywinchester27 @purgatoan @redlipstickandplaid @ruprecht0420 @sdavid09 @sherloki-moriartea @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @waywardjoy @wheresthekillswitch @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @wi-deangirl77 @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @wideawakeandwriting @dont-trust-humanity @you-know-whodoesthat-crazypeople @maddieburcham1 @captainemwinchester @mrsbatesmotel53 @samwinjarpad @kittenofdoomage @room-with-a-cat

#Lau's summer escape challenge #supernatural rpf #jared x reader #fiji honeymoon #jared padalecki #fiji #fluff #wedding #personal #rip kelly #you'll be missed

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amaranthkick · 7 years

Text

Fusion Confusion

(AO3)

Lance was insecure about the skills he can offer for his team. Shiro overheard and came up with a plan to help prove to the blue paladin that he was stronger than he thought. He just didn't expect the turn this mission was going to take.

Lance and Keith had a fight. Angry words were spilled and feelings were hurt.

That lead to Lance storming out the castle to the cliff edge overlooking the majestic ocean.

Ugh! Keith was always so strict and focused on fighting this war and completing missions. He didn't like Lance ‘fooling around’ on missions. It caused friction between the two of them. Not everyone handled stress like he did. Lance needed to joke, needed the mood to be light and not so serious all the time. The pressure would crush him. Not everyone was born for war. Not everyone was perfect and amazing at everything like him.

Lance knew he was just getting angry and that Keith was just being himself trying to get things done in an efficient manner. He needed and outlet. Thankfully something that used to help him on Earth, was also present on this planet: the ocean.

Their fight caused his insecurities to surface again after he just managed to push them down.

So he indulged his emotions acknowledging them by yelling about them to the ocean til his throat was sore and tears were streaming down his face.

I am trying my hardest out here!

No one understands being in someone's shadow for so long!

I don't have a thing that makes me stand out!

How come I'm never good enough!?

He panted out of breath. The hurt was still in his chest like deep wounds raked into him with deadly claws. Lance squeezed his eyes shut and kicked a rock down into the ocean.

Lance could feel Blue purring worriedly through their bond. He berated himself for making her worry and tried to reassure her he was fine. He turned and walked slowly back to the castle. Lance was going to spend the rest of the day inside Blue taking a nap preferably. When he's calmed down then he'll go talk with and apologise to Keith.

He didn't notice Shiro hiding behind nearby foliage. The black paladin went out and followed him just wanting to make sure he was alright. His face was crestfallen having heard every emotionally-packed word.

The castle warped to the planet Egreter, that has sent out a recent distress signal. They weren't attacked by the Galra luckily but the city had been harassed by bandits recently.

The Egretians didn't ask for help to try and look for the bandits. They already had people trying to investigate and instead wanted help to fix the any damage done around the city. Shiro and Allura had a meeting with their leader and offered any aid that they were willing to accept to help find them.

While waiting for new mission the paladins explored the city.

Hunk and Pidge were interested in their technology. The two paladins learned that most of it was powered by the green crystals they would see attached somewhere on the machine. There was a mine quite a ways from the city that held a large source of the crystals.

Keith was surveying the town, looking for what was damaged and trying to spot suspicious activity. He helped any civilian who asked the red paladin for help.

Lance found an awesome zoo. The caretaker was very knowledgeable of the different species on their planet. From the tiniest beady-eyed winged dog-like creatures to the more ferocious ‘kings of the jungle’ creatures. They looked so cool.

She even gave him some herbs that they used to capture the creatures thinking that the brave paladin would want a shot to fight a mighty beast. He tried to kindly refuse but she already shoved it into his unwilling hands.

The paladins rushed back to the open fountain in the middle of the city when Shiro called for them on their coms.

Allura explained that the leader of Egreter would allow the paladins to aid in the investigations if they showed helped the townspeople first. He wanted to wait til the soldier scouts reported back then would decide how to proceed. There however, was one secret request from the guard captain himself though, it was to check on the mine to see the state of the green power crystals that filled it. There were reports lately that suspicious figures were heading in and out of there. His soldiers were spread thin what with protecting the city and searching for the suspects. He said it wasn’t necessarily part of the investigation but they could use the opportunity to look around.

“Shiro and Lance will be the ones to go on the mission to check on the mine. The guard captain also asked to keep an eye out for his recruits who were sent to scour the nearby area. He said that they haven't come back yet.” Lance and Shiro nodded with a ‘yes princess’ then headed towards the mine.

Allura turned to the three remaining paladins. “We will aid anyone in need here in town although keep an eye out for suspicious activity in case the bandits are hidden here in town.”

As the team nodded in affirmation, she glanced at the two heading towards the path in the forest that led to the mine. For some reason Shiro insisted on going on this mission and taking Lance with him.

---

Lance needed to see for himself the talents he brings to the table. But he couldn't do that while playing support where he was looking at everyone else. That was when an idea struck him.

“Lance, I’ll let you be in charge of this mission.”

“Me!? Why? Are you sure?”

When Shiro nodded, Lance stroked his chin deep in thought. Why would Shiro let him lead a mission?

Hmm… Ah! Sometimes there were things you miss out if you’re always in the front. Shiro probably wanted a new perspective and he could probably see more bigger pictures if he was in a supporting role. He could pick up where Lance slacked off. Very smart. Even if he wasn’t going to be in charge he was a good leader. Lance nodded to himself thinking his logic was perfectly sound. “Ok, let’s do this.”

Lance walked ahead of Shiro taking in his surroundings. The bark of the trees around the dirt path were a sickly bluish color which could have been concerning if that wasn't normal for this planet. Their leaves though, were a vibrant chartreuse. It was almost like they glowed when the sun hit them.

Lance could see a hill rising up along the left side of the path. It didn't have a smooth slope but instead had rough edges jutting out almost like a cliffside He squinted his eyes when something glimmered near the center of the side facing the path. It was similar to how sunlight would reflect off a shiny or metallic surface. As suddenly as it appeared it vanished.

Lance stopped in his tracks. He could have sworn he saw something move. The hairs on his neck stood on end. His gut was telling him something’s wrong. Just like back when he took one last look at the fake Rover.

Shiro also stopped walking in time with Lance. He tilted his head confused, he didn’t notice anything. “Lance?”

Lance gasped when there was a small flash of light. He could tell it was the same kind of flash as whenever he fired his bayard. Something was firing at them!

“Shiro, get down!” The black paladin ducked just in time for a shot to whiz by the top of his helmet narrowly missing him and blasted a spot on the ground.

Lance formed his laser gun and carefully aimed at the spot where the flash came from and fired a shot. He preened when he hit something, a trail of black smoke marked its location and there was no more laser fire.

“Let's go check it out!” Lance started heading towards the source of the smoke gesturing for Shiro to follow him. He got his jet back ready to jump up the hill using the little ledges as footing.

Shiro tensed his jaw to keep from gaping in wonder. Not only did Lance take just one shot but also it seemed like it only took a second for him to figure out where to return fire. It only fired at them once, how'd he shoot it down so accurately?

It was quite a ways from the beaten path but they found the source of the smoke: a stationary turret with its muzzle blown off by Lance. The turret must have some targeting system programmed to attack anyone going to the mine.

But this was worrying, no one mentioned any security system. The bandits were most likely behind this. Luckily though, it must have been set up recently as there were hardly any reports of injuries from this thing.

From up there they got a good view of the entrance to the mine. It was closer than Lance thought which was nice, it seemed as if they were walking for a long time.

“Oh? Shiro do you see that?” There was a tiny bit of red amidst the yellow-green foliage. Shiro strained his eyes to see what it was. It moved a minute later revealing the one of the Egretians presumably a guard judging from the red uniform he was clad in. He looked around for threats then when the coast was clear promptly went back into hiding.

Lance and Shiro nodded to each other and headed towards the guard. Lance called out to him so that he wouldn’t think they were sneaking up on him and attack on sight. The guy was with two other scouts. They were sleeping to recover from their wounds they had gotten from the turret.

“We were trying to keep a watch on the mine but as soon as we got near…”

“Something fired at you, right?” Lance completed to which the guard nodded.

The guard looked over them and noticed they didn't have any scorch marks on their persons. He questioned, “How did you get here unscathed? Just peeking out a nudge too much from our hiding spot would attract laser fire to us.”

“Lance here, managed to shoot a stationary turret down at an impressive range.” Shiro gestured to Lance smiling when the sharpshooter puffed his chest out in pride at the compliment.

“We're paladins of Voltron. Your captain’s worried about you though. You want us to help you and your teammates get back?” Lance offered out his hand to the guard.

He kindly refused with a warm smile. “Thank you for your kind gesture but thanks to you that turret is gone and we now have safe passage back. I'll wait for the scouts to recover then head back with them.”

The guard pointed at the direction to the mine. “If you could, please check on the mine. We were not able to get in.”

“Of course! That's our mission anyway. Hope your friends get well soon and stay safe.” Lance and Shiro fondly waved goodbye and headed towards the entrance.

---

The tunnel had some fixtures built into the wall to provide light. The inside cave rocks were a light blue color. There was no forks or other tunnels so they didn't get lost. It lead them to this giant barren room.

The room was a dead end, the mine didn't go any deeper than this. There was only blue rocks on the walls and dirt on the floor. There was not one green crystal in sight.

Lance's face fell. They were too late, someone had managed to steal everything. He started to wander around the room trying to find any clue to go on. Something caught his eye, its color easily contrasting with its surroundings.

Lance picked up a small amber colored crystal. It was hardly as big as his fingernail. The tiny thing couldn't have been chipped off a green crystal. Did the bandits drop this?

Shiro jogged over to Lance when he couldn't find anything. The place was wiped clean, there wasn't even any footprints to track. Whoever they were dealing with were really good.

Lance held out the amber crystal for Shiro to look at. “This is all I could find. Maybe someone back in town knows more about this?”

“Yeah, we should report to Allura and the guard captain about the empty mine too.” Lance put the crystal into his pocket for safe keeping. They nodded in agreement and turned to face the exit.

They tensed when there were three robot drones approaching them. The drones weren't Galra but they didn't seem friendly either. They raised their rifles and started going at them guns blazing.

Shiro and Lance put up their shields separating to lighten the shots they were taking.

Lance tried to shoot back but they would just block his attacks with their arms or laser guns. The only bright side was that he could distract them enough to give Shiro some breathing room to dodge or try to get closer.

He saw a laser miss Shiro and blast a hole in the wall to reveal a secret entrance. There must be more tunnels hidden here. Not that the Egretians needed to go further than this room when it was filled with green crystals.

Wait a minute, something didn't feel right. It was as if these guys were hardly aiming for either of them like they were firing just for the sake of firing. Why?

The answer literally fell from the sky or in this case ceiling. A stalactite nearly smashed Lance into a pancake. All this blasting was causing too much vibrations. Oh no!

“Shiro! They're trying to cause a cave in!” Lance yelled the warning for the black paladin. His eyes widened in heavy realization. This was very bad.

It went from bad to worse when the robots seemed to pick up that they understood what was happening. They started to outright fire at the ceiling. One of them blasted at the only exit causing rocks to fall and seal it up trapping all of them inside.

The cave shook violently, more and more debris fell. They were running out of time. Lance looked back at Shiro who seemed to be trying to think of a way to escape.

Ahh! Just behind him was that small opening that was revealed in the battle. It was a gigantic risk, Lance didn't know if that tunnel would lead to another exit or was just another dead end but it was their only hope.

Their time ran out, huge chunks of rock started to fall. “Shiro, watch out!” Lance ran at full speed and all but tackled Shiro into the tunnel. They both tumbled together down a slope. Shiro clutched Lance trying to cover him with his own body. Whereas Lance tried to do the same for him.

They synced up with the desire to protect each other. Unbeknownst to them, the amber crystal started glowing in Lance's pocket. Its power affected the both of them. The two paladins blacked out before they knew what was happening. Soon the two bodies tumbling down the cave became only one.

---

“Mmnn,” Lance groaned slowly regaining consciousness. He put his hands underneath his chest to push himself up. The cave he was in had some green crystals studded in the walls providing some light if a bit dim. But he would take it, he just needed a moment for his eyes to adjust.

Lance started to look around, dread pooling in his gut. He couldn't find Shiro. “Shiro? Shiro…! Shiro, where are you!? Answer me please!” Lance desperately called out for him hoping he wasn't buried under the rubble that blocked off the cave they fell through.

---

Shiro woke up feeling oddly numb. He tried to move his body but he couldn’t tell if his limbs responded. There was also a strange sensation running just on the surface of his body almost as if it was moving on its own. Sight came to him next but it was like he was seeing through someone else’s eyes which kept darting to and fro and it was making him a little dizzy. Then it felt like ice was forming on top of him, creeping all over him, surrounding him in a frozen prison of dread.

He heard Lance’s shaky voice growing more and more worried. “Shiro? Shiro…! Shiro, where are you!? Answer me please!”

“Lance?” Shiro called out wanting to reassure him that he was alright. The ice quickly melted away and took the feelings of dread with it. It was replaced with a calm, steady ocean filled with overjoyed relief.

“Shiro!? Thank goodness! Are you alright? Where are you?” Lance sounded significantly less panicked, a good sign. While Shiro didn’t know where he, himself was, what was concerning was that he couldn’t see Lance either. Not with his strange new line of sight that he couldn’t control.

“More or less. I’m not completely sure where I am though. I think I’m safely in that tunnel you pushed us into before the whole cave in.”

“Ok, that’s good? But I should be able to find you cause I’m here too, shouldn’t I? Well at least you aren’t buried under the rocks.” Lance was rambling probably to try order his thoughts and keep calm.

Lance eyed the mountain of rubble. Maybe there was another room just beyond it and Shiro was there. He lifted his right hand and placed it on the pile of rocks in front of him. “Shiro, is your path blocked by…?”

Was his gauntlet darker than usual? He took a closer look. It was black and not his usual blue!

“Shiro!?” Lance looked excitedly over his shoulder expecting to see the black paladin beside him. But his face fell when he saw that no one was there. “Shiro?”

It felt like a chilling breeze bringing fear and confusion wrapped around him. Lance tilted his head at the sudden emotions, they almost didn't feel like his own.

Lance started gaping when he looked over his right hand. The arm clad in black paladin armor it was- it was his! It was attached to him at the shoulder as if it was always there. No, no! It was just the light, yeah, his brain playing tricks on him. That's it.

He let out a shaky breath unsettled when he noticed his right hand felt strange. Lance slowly took off the gauntlet and slipped off the glove to check his hand. His brain sputtered to a stop. He couldn’t believe what he saw. His hand was metal, the same metal hand Shiro had and it had been clad in the black paladin armor too.

Lance stumbled back and yelled, “Shiro!! Why do I have your hand!?” He waved, curled and uncurled a fist with his metal hand to make sure it was his hand. The metal limb obeyed all his directions proving it really was in his control. It was frightening, nothing was making sense.

Shiro was shocked as well. Why did Lance blurt out that he had his hand when it was right here in front of him? It might have been moving on its own but- wait a second. A crazy thought hit him and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to entertain it. Shiro felt numb with the realization that was happening but it left him thoroughly shocked and unable to fully process it. And yet if he accepted it then things would start to fall into place. He took a moment to ground himself then plowed ahead.

“Lance? Could you lift your hands in front of your face, palms facing you?”

“Like this?” Lance did as he was asked proving Shiro’s idea correct: that he was perhaps somehow looking through Lance’s eyes or Lance was in control of his body? Maybe? Everything was so confusing.

He told Lance of his theory and he took it as well as anyone would in this situation. Shiro felt the ocean around him shift and crash, no longer calm. The ocean must be Lance, it kinda felt like him when he concentrated on their bond in previous bonding exercises but it felt way too close now.

“W-Why? What happened? Tumbling down a cave shouldn't do this.” Lance took in a deep breath trying to calm down, panic won't help them. He put his right hand back in the paladin armor again. He stared at the black color then lifted his left hand. He inhaled sharply at the familiar shade of blue that stared back at him.

“Shiro, are you seeing this?” He looked over his armor. It was a mix and match of both their colors.

Shiro did see it but couldn't quite understand what it meant. He mentally sighed, while he would've wanted to take the time to fully understand what happened, they were still trapped in the mine. There were also the bandits still on the loose. They had to focus, hold off on their questions for now, and push forward. “Yes, I do Lance but I don't think we'll get answers here. We should go.”

“Oh r-right,” Lance took a calming breath, “the bandits are getting more bold. We gotta warn the others.” He got up to look for his helmet that must've been knocked off during the fall when Shiro grunted an assent.

Now that he looked around, on the opposite side of the room away from the rubble the cave went on further. Oh, there was his helmet which also was a mix of black and blue. It must have rolled all the way over there.

The walls near the helmet were made of a reflective material. Lance picked up the helmet only to drop it again when he caught his reflection. His breath was stuck in his throat. The wind he felt in the back of his mind which he assumed was Shiro also abruptly stopped in shock at what looked back at them: the person in the mirror wall had a complexion closer to Lance's, he had Shiro’s scar across the bridge of his nose, his hair was Lance's soft chocolate brown with Shiro’s white tuft in the front, and his eyes, widened in astonishment, were blue but had slivers of silver mixed in.

Lance brought a shaky hand to his- their cheek and breathed the obvious yet earth-shaking observation, “i-it's like we fused…”

(Part 2)

#shance #fusion au #writings #part 1 cause im eager to share with yall #welp #ruh roh

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jhericho-blog1 · 7 years

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Summary: Who Fareeha was was a blurred line. Where did Ana Amari’s only child start and the highly esteemed soldier begin? Were there even things in between, was she – could she – be anything more to anyone?

Warnings: Implied Self-Harm, Implied Suicide/Suicide Attempts, Mental Health Issues

I recommend reading the chapters written prior, they can be found here.

“Shit!”

“Pharah! Mercy!”

“No!”

The screaming was gone the instant they passed over the edge of the cliff. The wind was howling in her ears as gravity drug them closer and closer to the water's edge. Her arms struggled to keep a grip on the Raptora suit, it's massive wings digging painfully into her chest as she clung tightly to the unconscious woman inside the suit.

The wings to the Valkyrie suit were extended as far as possible as they tried to support more weight than they were made for. Her back was on fire, the pain ripping a yell from her mouth and causing the split in her lip to widen.

She should have stayed with McCree. If she had just stayed with Jesse, they wouldn't be in this mess. And yet, Pharah had thrust herself into the middle of a firefight, entering a deadly duel in the air, rockets versus sniper rounds.

Their second mission and Angela was once again in the worst position possible. Well, perhaps not the worse. Everyone had sustained injuries of varying degrees, from Torbjörn's sprained ankle to the shotgun shells littering Reinhardt's flank.

Hurtling off a cliff into a less than calm ocean was pretty bad, but not her worst Thursday night.

The information of a Talon operation in Greece literally appeared out of nowhere. Winston spent countless hours trying to track the anonymous source that leaked the information, tried to find out who the whistleblower might be.

Everyone spent one long night on high alert, Athena's sudden announcement of an unidentified hacker in her systems leaving the team uneasy. “I don't want to poke back too hard.” Winston grimly told them the following morning. “Whoever this is was able to break into our mainframe in what seems like seconds. If they could do that they can certainly see me trying to break into theirs, and it's not an easy hack. I'm afraid if I poke too hard they might do something worse to us.”

The message was simple: Illios. Archaeology site. Talon.

The messenger was a lot less simple. The information was relayed through a serious of various codes that took Winston hours to figure out. He couldn't quite put his finger on one part of the message, one word that was repeated over and over throughout the endless codes. Boop.

The scientist decided to remain in Gibraltar just in case it was a trap to lure them away from the Watchpoint, leaving the remaining six to head straight into a probable trap in Greece. There was heated debate about what Talon could be after at an archaeology site, the only logical explanation being artifacts.

It made Angela laugh. World renowned terrorist organization Talon, stealing ancient Greek artifacts in the night like petty art thieves. She was laughing a lot less when their newly refurbished ORCA landed in the middle of a heated battle between Talon forces and Illios police officers.

“It's important that we not be see,” Winston had explained their first night in the Watchpoint, “if word gets out that we're operating again we'll all be in hot water.”

“Like a slap on the wrist hot water?” Lena had asked through a mouthful of cheese pizza.

“Like we're committing high treason, hot water.” The gorilla clarified.

Which made their sudden appearance all the more fantastic. Angela ignored the questions the police threw her way as she patched up their wounds, giving them plastic smiles and reassurances that they'd be alright. Winston had tried to calm the tension by reminding the team that everyone had a price, but it only seemed to raise everyone's blood pressure at the thought of having to bribe the police.

The plan they had come up with had to be revised quickly to account for the unwanted guests. Tracer would take to the backlines with Torbjörn and provide cover for him while he set up behind the enemy with his turret. McCree and Pharah were to flank the sides and watch for anyone trying to ambush Reinhardt as he marched straight on and into the site, hopefully pushing Talon back and into Torbjörn and Tracer.

Which meant Angela was stuck once again cowering behind Reinhardt's shield, praying to whoever or whatever was listening that he didn't charge off to god-knows-what. Just watching Pharah shoot off in the air made her itch to join her.

The past few weeks had been successful to say the least. Angela had forced herself to get into the gym and start working out again. She knew she was out of shape, but god. Watching Lena run a mile in a little over three minutes made her tired. Listening to Fareeha explain proper form for deadlifting and squats made her body ache.

Progress was made, slowly but surely. Her own personal training with her wings was going better than expected. Within a week in a half she could lift off the ground, and at the end of two weeks she could hang in the air for ten minutes. It still made her back sore, but it was a soreness she gladly welcomed.

Angela had asked Fareeha if she would help her run field tests in the air, but she was always shot down, no pun intended. If the doctor was honest, it felt like Fareeha was avoiding her on work out days. She always had an excuse to not accompany Angela into the gym, always seemed very eager to escape the gym when she walked in on Angela.

It infuriated her to no end, and she never failed to ask what was wrong on the nights they found themselves both in the rec room eating sweets until sunrise. Fareeha would laugh and shrug it off, always managing to change the conversation.

Their meetings had started off unplanned. They never intended to have repeats of the first night in the rec room, but it became a sort of ritual.

Just before three am, they would wake and head to rec room. Whoever got in first would begin preparations for a snack, whoever got in second would choose from a colorful array of children's movies. It was odd to say the least, and when they'd occasionally get an uninvited guest neither knew how to explain.

They had gone through a rainbow of disgustingly sweet treats: cakes, pastries, cheap boxed pudding, cookies, the list seemed endless. Fareeha had surprised Angela with her prowess in the kitchen and she'd be lying if it made her embarrassed of her own half-assed cooking skills. “Mom was never around to make this kind of stuff,” Fareeha explained nonchalantly one morning while pulling a pan of brownies out of the oven, “so I taught myself.”

Ana had been discussed some nights. She was never the center of the conversation, and that was alright. Fareeha expressed her desire to let their quiet moments be just that, a moment to step back and breathe, a moment of calm. Angela couldn't agree more, thankful that whenever the conversation turned serious and dark it was quickly broken by a joke or question.

It was such a blessing, their moments of calm. Some nights neither would speak, just go through the usual motions and curl up on the couch to watch whatever was playing. Some nights neither would stop speaking, interrupting each other to try and get thoughts or opinions out before they were forgotten.

Some nights it was like the other wasn't even there, that they were two individuals stuck in the hells that were their minds and memories. And some nights it was like they were the last two people on Earth, clinging together for comfort and warmth to chase away the whispers of the past.

Every night Fareeha sat a little closer to Angela. Every night Angela removed Fareeha's prosthetic legs. Every night they shared a blanket. Every night Angela found herself watching Fareeha and smiling without realizing what she was doing.

And every morning the two woke up tangled together on the couch. And every morning they returned to their rooms without speaking to get ready for the day.

Lena had taken it upon herself to bug the living shit out of Angela about it. “So you two spend the entire night together, eating sweets and watching movies, sharing a blanket, and just get up in the morning like it didn't even happened?”

“What's so horrible about it?” Angela asked.

“What's so horrible about it is that you're doing fuck all!” The shorter woman grabbed Angela's shoulders and lightly shook her, “Angie, what is the first thing everyone notices about Fareeha?”

Angela made a face and slowly answered, “She's tall...?”

“No no no! She's hot! She's got muscles, she's got charisma, she's got really nice tits! C'mon Angie, it's not brain surgery!” Lena waggled her eyebrows and smirked, “Or maybe you're just a really good actress.”

“Lena,” Angela carefully removed her hands and stepped back, “Fareeha is nice and she's my friend. And you're missing the glaringly obvious: I'm not gay.”

The ex-pilot scoffed, raising her eyebrows and grimacing. Angela frowned deeper at the face and rolled her eyes, stepping around Lena to walk away. From behind her she could hear the woman mocking her in a comically thick German accent. “Lena, I'm not gay! Lena, zhe sky izn't blue it'z purple and vater izn't vet!”

The pestering was endless. It didn't help that when she ate lunch with Torbjörn he would make comments of the similar caliber, much tamer comments, but still hinting at the same conclusion: you spend a lot of time together, so are you together?

Angela hadn't brought it up to Fareeha during their occasional vents of frustration for fear it would make things awkward. The last thing she wanted was for a good thing to turn sour. Especially after they had discussed how terrible they handled relationships in the past.

All of the men Angela had been with left her feeling wholly dissatisfied with just about everything. All of the men and women Fareeha had been with had abused her kindness and left her feeling, in her own words, 'emotionally constipated'. They both agreed there had been the one or two good relationships that didn't work out, but neither delved too deep into their love lives.

It was ironic, really. They could openly admit to how many people they've let die, how many times they've thought the world would be better off with them dead, but they drew the line at partners.

Jesse loved to burst into their conversations some nights to describe in excruciating detail his past experiences with men and women, which probably lead to the line being drawn. Angela didn't think she could ever hear certain words again without blushing deeply.

“Mercy, are you ready to move out?” Reinhardt asked over his shoulder.

The doctor finished bandaging a rather large gash on an officer's leg before picking the Caduceus staff up and nodding. The German man barked a harsh order for the Illios Police Force to stay back. No one seemed to have the courage to challenge the crusader or his hammer.

The two moved slowly in the dark, Reinhardt's energy barrier giving them just enough light to see the area immediately around them. “McCree, Pharah, update on the path?” Angela asked into her earpiece. She touched the side of her halo, four blue blips appearing in the holographic interface that lowered to her eyes.

“Left's clear, over.”

“No hostiles spotted to the right, over.”

The excavation site was dead ahead. There were a few work lights illuminating the site, some overturned or broken by gunfire. Bodies lay untouched, Talon soldiers and police alike. “Turret's up!” Torbjörn said.

“Move in on my count.” Reinhardt lowered his barrier, wielding his hammer before himself. Angela gripped her staff tighter, inhaling the scent of blood around her deeply and spreading her wings. “Now!” He bellowed, his rocket thrusters propelling him forward.

Angela flew in after him, raising her staff and engaging it's first command to unleash a torrent of nanites into the crusader. As soon as they touched the site gunfire erupted from all around them. The barrier was brought back up to block most of it, a few bullets pinging off Reinhardt's armor.

The doctor stood beside him to avoid as much gunfire as possible, two of the four blips on her screen approaching rapidly. “Got some friends comin' in hot to the left!” McCree announced.

Seconds later the man took a leap off some scaffolding and landed in a roll, revolver already raised and firing at the hostiles following him. “On your right!” Pharah called, Reinhardt swiveling instantly to block the impact of a rocket.

The rockets thundered into the ground, ripping screams from Talon soldiers and flinging torn limbs into the air in every which way. McCree glanced at the scene a gave a low whistle, “Nice shootin' there.”

A few soldiers rushed at them head on, and those that didn't get taken out by McCree's bullets were gone the instant Reinhardt swung his hammer. The sound of bodies impacting the weapon made a sickening sound. When he brought it back to raise his barrier Angela noted it was coated in blood.

A loud and reverberating gunshot followed by Pharah's pained cry turned Angela's attention to the sky. “Sniper, right side!” Another shot, a miss. “They're up on top of some ruins!”

“I'm on it!” Tracer cried.

“Pharah, land,” Angela kept trying to find the woman in the dark sky, “it's too risky for me to go up there if the sniper has your position.”

“Right behind you!” She answered over coms, landing less than gracefully seconds later. She held her left shoulder in pain and tossed a few plates of her suit away. “Armor piercing rounds.” She said gruffly, looking at the shredded plates in disgust.

Angela turned her beam to the woman, “Patching you up, just a few moments.” The golden light enveloped Pharah and Angela couldn't help but smirk at the awed look on her face.

“So this is what this feels like.” She wondered aloud.

“Don't get used to it, I'd like to not have to do this. The bullet will need to be removed later, but you should feel no pain.” Angela said, watching Pharah roll her shoulder and give her a curt nod. “Keep with McCree until we get conformation from Tracer about the sniper.”

“Yes ma'am.” Pharah said with a smirk before she aimed her rocket launcher and swiveled to fire off a few rounds, taking out a few soldiers trying to ambush them from behind.

Angela turned to view the two blips off in the distance, one turning slightly yellow. “Torbjörn, status report.”

“Just a few hostiles trying to get my turret.” He answered instantly, grunting before letting out a laugh, “Better to be the hammer than the nail!”

“Tracer? Update on the sniper?” Reinhardt asked, lowering his barrier again to fling a large scar of fire at a rather tightly packed group of soldiers.

Angela watched her blip vanish and reappear every few seconds, turning red instantly before vanishing and reappearing back to blue. “Tracer! What's going on?!”

“It's her!” Tracer growled in response, heaving a breath and adding, “That purple lady from Kings Row!” There was an echoed gunshot through Tracer's com and she laughed and yelled out, “Missed me, love!”

“Lemme know if you need backup,” McCree called out as he took a soldier's knee out, “I've gotta feelin' this is gonna get hairy real quick if she's here!”

Angela raised an eyebrow at the cowboy, “You know who she's talking about?”

McCree pulled something out of the underside of his holster and tossed it up into the air, “Flash bang incoming!” Angela turned her head just in time to miss the loud bang and crack of light, stunning a few soldier's who were trying to come down the ramp. “Yeah I know'er! She was part of the group that had me tied down back in the States, annoying as shit!”

There was a soft roaring in the distance that was gradually growing louder, the sounds of gunfire seeming quiet compared. Torbjörn cursed into the coms and practically yelled, “There's a whole fleet of'em coming around!”

“I see'em too!” Tracer added, “Big ships! One's got a big scar on the side of it!” McCree looked towards the dark sky in a slight panic.

“The one with the scar, is it on the front?” He asked quickly as he reloaded his revolver.

“Yeah, look's pretty gnarly—OI!” Tracer was cut off with a gasp like she had been hit hard. Her coms picked up a scuffle, like she had been taken to the ground.

Reinhardt's barrier had small cracks forming at it's edges and he tossed over his shoulder, “The barrier is failing! I must retract it and let it rebuild itself!”

“Not a good time to do that!” McCree growled, looking at Angela and stating darkly, “If who I think is on that ship is on it, we're in deep horse shit.” She raised an eyebrow at him and he looked around, “Do we have any idea what they're here for? Maybe we can take it before they get it.”

Pharah was hovering off the ground barely above Reinhardt's shield as she raised her wrist to fire a small rocket that propelled a few soldier's backwards. “We have no idea what their target is,” She called down to him, “we just know that we can't let them be here! Who's on that ship?”

“The Reaper.” He said grimly, leveling his revolver with a head and pulling the trigger. “The one who's been killing former Overwatch members. I was tracking him for a bounty and he came for me, him and that spider bitch.”

Chills raced down Angela's spin. The person she was the most worried about could be coming straight for them. She had read the reports of the deaths, and seen the pictures of what they looked like during autopsy.

There were barely any bodies left. All of the corpses had been obliterated. It looked like they had been through a woodchipper, only a few fingers still attached to what would be left of hands, only a few strings of muscle still clinging tightly to bones that were shattered beyond belief. They all looked like they had been decaying for months.

It was definitely motivation for her to not step too far out her line of work, to try and not draw attention to herself. But here she was, once again part of Overwatch, once again on a mission, and in the way of whatever he wanted. And in a bright and flashy angel suit. Honestly fuck this.

“We have a mission, and we must complete it. We were told of this operation for a reason, so we have to stop it.” Pharah declared, the others adding their agreements.

Reinhardt's shield had a rapidly forming crack right down the middle and he gripped his hammer tighter, “I can't hold it forever!”

“Let it down on my mark,” Pharah ordered as she reloaded her launcher and checked a remaining panel on the top of her shoulder, “we can't waste any more time! I'm going back in the air to try and slow their fleet!”

“No you are not!” Angela barked, glaring daggers at the woman and pulling her own pistol from it's holster, “The sniper is--”

“The sniper is busy dealing with Tracer and I trust her to take care of it! We aren't arguing over this, Mercy, I have to engage now or we might fall here!” She flicked her visor down and reached up to mute her coms, saying directly to Angela, “I'll be alright, trust me.”

With that she was gone, calling for Reinhard to drop his barrier. As soon as it was down Angela dove into a small alcove. She fired aimlessly and was surprised to hear some of her shots find their marks. Torbjörn yelled that their ground numbers were dwindling. Reinhardt swung his hammer forward and slammed it into the ground, the earth shattering before it and knocking Talon forces to the ground.

McCree was on the downed soldiers instantly, his revolver rapidly firing and landing headshot after headshot. The whole ordeal lasted only a few seconds but added a heaping pile of bodies to the collection around them. The sky above them was alight with rockets exploding, the loud and reverberating BOOMS of their contact with the ship shaking the ground.

“Gotta say, I'm pretty jealous of her,” McCree said with a chuckle, “but I suppose I don't like flying that much, never--” He was cut off by a loud TAK-TAK and his own shriek of pain. Angela turned in time to watch a clawed gauntlet grasp his cybernetic arm and pull it backwards, the metal bending as easily as rubber.

McCree was thrown to the ground, the dark figure behind him slamming a steel boot into his back and leaning towards the doctor. The moonlight cast a faint spotlight on the bone white, skeletal mask looking back at Angela. She stood paralyzed as a clawed hand reached forward and wrapped tightly around her neck, jerking her forward to painfully lean on the tips of her toes.

Reinhardt had his hammer raised, about to strike the figure when they lifted a shotgun and fired it into the crusader's side. He stumbled backwards, clutching his flank and losing his grip on his hammer. The hammer hit the ground with a resounding THUD and so followed it's wielder. Angela was shaking, tears beginning to form in her eyes from the smell of rotting flesh that emanated from the wraith before her. She was brought closer until she was bent nose to nose with The Reaper.

They stared back at each other in silence for what felt like hours, the screams of Torbjörn in Angela's coms lost to the blood roaring in her ears and the icy feeling in her limbs. The claws released her neck for a split second but caught her by the chin before she could fall forward, squeezing her face painfully but not enough to break the skin. She gasped for air but quickly closed her mouth, the smell of death so strong that she could taste it.

The Reaper spoke first in a harsh, grated voice. “Well well well, it's been a while, wouldn't you agree, Dr Ziegler?” He shook her slightly at her silence and leaned closer to growl in her face, “I'll give you more than you deserve and won't kill you where you stand just yet; I want to hear you plead for your pathetic, empty life.” A claw bore painfully into her lower lip, dragging at it roughly and breaking the skin.

She was shaken again but was only spurred into action by the shotgun that dug into the center of her chest. “W-who are you?” She could only whisper, her voice hoarse from fear and unable to hide it.

“You're asking the wrong questions, dear doctor.” The Reaper released her face and push her upright with his shotgun, leaving it at her chest and bringing a hand up to rest on the mask. “The question isn't who am I...but what have you made me into.” Angela's mind was racing at this, her stomach churning as The Reaper flicked a small corner of his mask up and began removing the whole thing.

Just before it could be removed, McCree rose up behind The Reaper and fired his revolver into his side. The Reaper howled in pain and harshly slapped Angela across the face as he went to the ground, claws tearing through the thin flesh of her face. His body dissipated into smoke and raced across the ground. The two watched in shock as the smoke rose up to reform back into The Reaper's cloaked form a few feet away, clenching and unclenching his clawed hands.

He glanced over his shoulder, mask still intact and said cryptically, “We'll meet again, and when we do I won't spare you any words, Goldilocks. You either, you damn ingrate.” Angela's stomach dropped out at the old nickname and The Reaper laughed at her reaction. His body slowly began to fade away until he was gone, his laugh carried away by the wind.

McCree winced as he stepped forward and gripped Angela's shoulder, “You alright?” She slowly nodded, half her face burning with pain and her lip steadily bleeding down her chin. Reinhardt's low groaning turning the two to look at him. “Help him first, I'll be fine with m'gimpy arm for now.” The cowboy said with a slight smile that vanishing into another wince as he tried to move his shoulder.

Angela had Reinhardt standing in a remarkable thirty seconds, his side still bleeding slightly under his shredded armor. “I don't want to hear an earful from you,” He waved her off as he leaned heavily onto his hammer, “I'll already be getting it from Torbjörn for wrecking my armor already. Speaking of, Torbjörn! How are things looking on your side?”

“The last are trying to retreat into my turret,” Torbjörn said, “all that looks to be left aside from a few stragglers are those ships.” Angela turned her gaze to the sky and watched Pharah's blip move further and further way and couldn't help the sense of dread filling her stomach. Tracer's blip was no longer moving.

“Tracer what is your status?” Angela asked in a panic. Her coms rustled and more gunfire could be heard over them.

There was a pain cry and Tracer yelped. Her blip had turned orange. Angela turned in time to watch Pharah's still blue blip vanish in a large ball of flames and fire. “Rocket barrage incoming!”

“Now there's a light show,” McCree said with a grin, the rockets and missiles illuminating the ship with the large scar he had been talking about. It began pulling away immediately, heading out towards the sea. “Looks like we sent them runnin'! This calls for a celebration!”

Angela was far from celebrating. Tracer wasn't responding and her blip was dangerously still. She opened her mouth to ask--

Crack

Gravity seemed to cease to be, all sound vanishing as Angela watched Pharah's red blip fall rapidly out of the sky. She was moving before realizing what she was doing, before the rational part of her brain could stop her from launching herself into the air.

Her wings spread and boosted her into the sky, her arms stretched out as far as possible as the blip grew bigger. Pharah's limp form was soon visible and Angela willed herself to move faster. She barely grabbed the woman's arm before she was immediately pulled into Pharah's downward spiral, momentum pushing them further out and away from land while sending them plummeting.

Angela managed to hold on long enough to gain enough speed to wrap her arms around Fareeha's form, ignoring the Raptora's painful edges and corners as she clung to the woman's back.

“Shit!

“Pharah! Mercy!”

“No!”

Angela could hear the voices in stereo, her coms painfully loud in her ears. “Come on,” She whispered to her suit, straining to keep her wings open against the harsh wind, “come on!” The synthetic muscle and tissue in her back was burning intensely, a knot beginning to form in the center of her shoulders. The pain ripped a yelp from her but she kept her wings open, feeling blood rolling down her chin from her lip.

The ocean they were rapidly approaching looked like thick, black blood to Angela. The water was choppy, debris from the ships floating along the surface and following the waves back to the cliff. There was no beach, no sand, just water that lead straight into stone.

She angled herself as best she could in an upright position and took a deep breath through the nose. Angela was in agony as she forced her wings to spread wider, catching air and pulling them backwards slightly and into a gentle glide. The knot in her back caused her to freeze up, her grip loosening on Fareeha's limp body and her vision blurring.

“No!” She gasped, her lungs stinging as she breathed. Her grip on Fareeha returned and the doctor could feel the muscles in her back tearing. Her head was pounding, instinct screaming at her to let the unconscious woman go, to end the torment. The sight of Fareeha's shattered visor, the sight of blood steadily flowing from her head, it was enough to keep Angela from acting upon those instincts. I am not losing anyone else, not now, not ever! I will not lose again! She thought in her head, her teeth grinding together and pain lessening with her new found will. Not her!

They hit the water harshly, but it was enough to save them from any severely broken bones. Angela knew she was badly bruised but ignored the pain by repeating her mantra to herself. Not her, not her, not her! The doctor struggled to pull Fareeha above water, the weight of her suit trying to pull her under. They finally crested the surface and Angela gasped for air, the soreness in her chest and back combined with the weight of the soldier in her arms threatening to pull her under again.

The waves pushed and pulled the two back and forth, taking them closer and closer to where land met sea. Angela couldn't help but curse at the rocks that rest in their path, managing to turn the two so that she would take the brunt force of them.

The first hit didn't hurt as much as she was anticipating but it still knocked the wind out of her. The way at which the Valkyrie suit's wings were sitting made it so that the painfully dug into their ports upon impact. Angela's gasp of pain lead to water rushing into her mouth and getting sucked into her lungs, the back of her throat burning as she tried to hack up the sea water.

The second hit came too soon for Angela to prepare for. The wings were shoved deeper into the ports, water sucked back into her airway, and this time she lost her hold on Fareeha. The woman vanished beneath the water's surface and Angela couldn't help her panic as she sank under to save her. Fareeha wasn't too far below, but Angela's limbs strained to keep hold of her and pull her up. She kicked with all her might, her lungs burning from the lack of oxygen and her eyes and lacerations stinging from the salt water.

A wave pushed them further apart and Angela struggled to turn to grab the woman again. Her arms reached out, about to grab onto the Raptora's wings when Angela was slammed into another rock. The ports gave way to the wings and they thrust into her back, ripping her skin in two and slashing her already torn muscles apart.

It felt like Angela had been struck by lightening. The pain consumed her, it filled her head to toe, it took her vision, her hearing – or was that the ocean? The ocean seemed so calm around her, so gentle the further she sank into it's warm embrace. Was it warm, or was she just chilled to the bone? She accepted the water filling her lungs, watching small bubbles that formed from her nostrils gracefully drift upwards.

It was so quiet, so calm. It was like the mornings she spent with Fareeha – Fareeha was beside her like she was those mornings. The woman would have looked so peaceful if not for the blood forming a crimson halo around her head in the water. She looked like she was sleeping, looked the same she had after those quiet mornings before she woke up and removed herself from Angela's chest.

Angela's chest felt warm now, like it was going to burn a hole straight through her. It should have been painful, but she felt so numb. It felt like when she was back in the garage, when she first encountered Mercy. She felt like she didn't feel, and that was okay. No one would mind if she rested, if she let her eyes close and let her mind wander.

Fareeha was with her, it would be okay. Fareeha was safe, Fareeha was warm. Fareeha was right beside her like she was when she came face to face with Mercy, like she was during those quiet mornings. Fareeha wouldn't leave her. And she wouldn't leave Fareeha. She would rest her eyes, embraced in Fareeha's warmth. She would rest and they would both wake in a few hours, together as they were when they fell asleep. With her... Angela's mind whispered for her as she let herself be held tightly by the ocean, as she sank further into the darkness.

It felt like thousands of hands were gripping her body, pulling her further down. Angela's whispers slowly became the whispers of those holding her, asking her again and again if she was breathing, if she deserved to ever breathe again. But she wasn't, and she wouldn't. And it was okay because Fareeha was with her.

The ghosts could take hold of her body and pull her further into their hold, they could rip into her flesh and tear her body apart. Mercy could descend upon her and remind her of all of the lives she took, could stare into her very soul with it's owlish eyes and consume her very soul, unravel her mind and leave her as empty as she deserved to be.

But it's okay...Fareeha is...Fareeha...I...

“Fareeha?” The door slowly creaked open, light sliding across the hardwood floor and revealing the small bundle of thick duvet resting beside the front door. Curled right next to the shoe rack, almost on the welcome mat, and clutching a small flashlight, she sat facing the door, not turning at the call of her name.

“Sweet pea?” Her father called again, kneeling beside her self-made den and pulling part of it back to reveal her. He raised an eyebrow at her with a smile and asked, “What are you doing out of bed, Reba? It's past eleven and you've got school in the morning.”

Fareeha glanced back at her father for only a moment before returning her gaze to the door, stating simply, “Mom isn't home yet.” Her father made noise of understanding and unwrapped the duvet further, slinging a corner around his shoulders and patting his leg. Fareeha moved to rest on him immediately, her flashlight blinding the two of them as she moved.

“If you're waiting for Mom, you'll be waiting for a while.” Her father said softly, “She's on an important mission with Uncle Jack and Uncle Gabe.”

Fareeha glanced up at her father with a perplexed look, “Mom's on a mission near the border of Spain and Portugal with Strike Commander Reyes and Second Commander Morrison to take back the ocean front from omnic forces. Suspected heavy push back from Titan units, newer models upgraded by the Ultimate Programs, or as the civies call them, God Programs. The mission should have end by thirteen hundred and her flight back should have landed by twenty-one hundred.”

Her father laughed, a rich sound that Fareeha felt in her chest. “You can remember all of this but you can't remember your ballet routine?” He laughed again, hugging her close and kissing the top of her head, “Never change, sweet pea.”

Fareeha made a face and groaned at the thought of her dance class, “I hate ballet. All of the other girls are weird.”

“Oh? How so?” Her father asked as he shifted slightly to lean against the wall.

She paused, trying to think of how to tell him what she felt without spilling all of the beans. “Everyone treats me different.” It wasn't a lie. They did treat her different. They would make fun of her hair beads, make fun of her strange accent, and everyone was shushed when talking about what the fun things their parents did with them. It was like they thought Fareeha couldn't understand the concept of having parents who were always present.

Her father sighed and nudged Fareeha to look at him. She turned, resting her head on his shoulder and looked up at him. He had scruff on his chin and jaw, his long hair pulled back hastily, almost falling out. His glasses rested low on his nose, enough to make him look like a wizened old man despite his young age.

“They just don't understand. Sometimes, people get mean towards things they don't understand, and they do and say things they don't really mean.”

“Is that why people are mean to the good omnics?” Fareeha asked softly, looking up at her father and awaiting his response.

He winced slightly and his brow furrowed, “I don't really know, sweet pea. It's hard to tell if a person is good or bad, and it's even harder to tell if an omnic is.” She frowned at this and her father continued, “But I believe that there are good omnics like there are good people. We see enough of the bad on TV not to hope that there's some good out there too.”

“Dad?” He hummed in response. “Are they good?” She motioned to the picture by the door of her mother and her comrades.

“Yes Fareeha, I think they are. Do you think they are good?” Fareeha paused, thinking hard about her answer.

“Well...I think that wars are bad. And that fighting in wars is bad too. But I don't think Mom's bad like the omnics are bad. But I also don't think she's...good?” She paused again and sat up, looking away and quietly admitting, “I wish she wouldn't fight in the war.”

Her father rested a hand on her shoulder and answered back in a similar tone, “I wish she didn't have to. But there are people and things in this world that...sometimes, people are...” He sighed and moved his glasses up to his forehead, looking into Fareeha's eyes with a strange look of longing on his face.

“Not every heart's the same, Fareeha. Sometimes the world is cruel to people, and that makes them sad. And sometimes people have so much sadness inside them that it turns to hurt and anger, and it makes them do cruel things in return.”

“Kind of like the girls in dance class?” Fareeha asked.

Her father chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, kind of like the girls in dance class.” He turned serious again and put a hand on her head, ruffling her hair. “But sometimes, that sadness doesn't turn to hurt or anger. Sometimes people stay sad and don't know how to be happy. That's what your mother is trying to fix, she's trying to show people how to be happy again by helping them.”

“I want to do that.” Fareeha said before repeating herself in a more confident voice, “I want to show people how to be happy. I don't want people to be sad, or hurt, or angry. I want everyone to be as happy as I am when Mom comes home! Or as happy as Uncle Gabe looks when Uncle Jack makes a joke! Or as happy as Mr. Reinhardt is all the time!”

Her father chuckled and looked down at her with a smile and watery eyes, “I hope you won't have to, that when you get big everyone will be as happy as you are. But don't forget, Fareeha, there are some people who only know how to be happy by hurting others.”

Fareeha wrapped her arms around her father's neck and clung to him tightly. “I won't hurt anyone, not ever. I'll be a hero someday, Dad, even better than Mom! I promise.”

“I don't doubt you, sweet pea. You're gonna change the world someday, and I'm going to be right here the whole time.”

“I wish Mom was here the whole time...” Fareeha's voice cracked, tears forming in her eyes.

Her father hugged her closer and asked softly, “She wishes she were too. Is there anything I can say to make you feel better?”

Fareeha let her tears slip down her cheeks as she answered, “She'll come back home, won't she?”

He tensed at this, his own voice wavering and barely there. “Of course, sweet pea. She loves you too much not to.”

Fareeha let her eyes close, let herself be held tightly. She didn't want to move, didn't want to leave. She never wanted to get up and out of the floor, and she never wanted to let go.

She gasped, her eyes snapping open to stare at a blurry blob of brown. Her ears felt stuffed, muting the voices yelling around her as she sat up quickly and turned to the side to vomit sea water. It burned horribly, her throat feeling like it would split in two by the time she had been reduced to spitting into the sand.

“-reeha?” She shook her head to try and clear her ears, warm water gushing out of one ear and granting her hearing once more. “Fareeha?” Jesse asked with a sniffle, and she turned to look at him.

He was a sight to see, hat off and hair wild. He had tears running down his face and snot in his mustache and beard. His arms immediately went around her and he sobbed out a few broken sentences into her head.

Fareeha pushed him away, slightly dizzy and uncomfortably sticky and cold. She then realized the top half of the Raptora suit had been ripped from her body, pieces of the armor laying around the two in the sand., the Caduceus staff a few feet away “W-what?” She asked hoarsely, struggling to speak with her scratched throat.

“You went down,” Jesse wiped at his face with his sleeve, “and you were just...gone. We couldn't find you n'I thought you was...” He sobbed again, his voice broken, “and Angie...”

Fareeha's eyes widened, her memory returning to her. She had been hit, she went down. A hand reached up to touch where the bullet hit her, her fingers meeting solid flesh and dried blood. It was healed but she could feel a scar across her temple that traveled into her hair.

“Where is she?” Fareeha asked, vaguely remembering her angelic form racing towards her before she passed out. Jesse began crying harder and Fareeha's stomach dropped out. “Jesse? Where is Angela?”

He glanced behind Fareeha and whispered, “They've been tryin' for a while...but she's just not...” Fareeha turned to gaze at the scene about a yard away.

Torbjörn's limb attachment had been thrown in the sand to the side, both hands pumping quickly onto Angela's chest. He tipped her head back, leaning forward to blow air into her mouth before returning to compressions. Reinhardt stood behind him cradling Lena in his arms, the crusader out of his armor and sopping wet. Angela lay unmoving.

Fareeha felt cold and numb. The Swiss woman's lips were blue, her skin an unhealthy pale. She wasn't moving. Neither was Fareeha.

Her world suddenly became only Angela's body and her own. Her ears weren't ringing, but something loud was booming far away as she stared. The explosions increased and she looked behind Angela to see a line where night became day.

Behind Angela looked warm, the sand looked more yellow, the explosions formed there. Behind Angela was Siwa. Behind Angela was Jalal.

He was the complete opposite of Angela. His body was dark, stained with blood, his lips were cracked from the heat. His eyes were open, only slightly, and he stared at her. His uniform was shredded, matching his flesh that was jutting out.

“It happened again.” She stated aloud. Her hands tightened painfully into fists, fingernails digging harsh crescents into her palm. “I did it again. I fucking did it again!” Tears were forming in Fareeha's eyes and she hunched over to rest her head in the sand.

Jesse gripped her shoulder and shook her, bringing her back to Illios and saying, “No, c'mon now, you can't blame yourself.” He sniffed and raised her to lean against him. His breathing hitched and he held her tighter and admitted, “You scared the shit outta me. I thought...” Jesse pulled back a little to look into Fareeha's eyes, snot welling in his nose again and more tears spilling down his cheeks. “I thought I lost m'lil sister.”

Fareeha hugged Jesse tightly, letting her own tears fall as her world came crashing down.

Is this how Angela feels when she says she doesn't deserve anything? It was a question and a thought that served her no good to ask, Angela was dead. She killed her like she killed Jalal. Angela told her to stay, told her no good would come of her fighting the Talon ships head-on. Jalal told her to go, told her no good would come of her as she was a selfish brute who didn't care about others.

But what was true now? Fareeha learned to care about others, to put aside the mission to take care of her own. That's what she was doing when she took to the skies. No, I did it for the mission. The realization hit, a chilling thought that she finally realized about herself.

She did it for the mission under the guise that if she were to die no one else would have to in her place. She was reckless because if anyone were to die, it should be her. Fareeha went back into the air hoping she would be shot down, hoping that she wouldn't have to spend another morning looking in the mirror and not seeing herself.

Who Fareeha was was a blurred line. Where did Ana Amari's only child start and the highly esteemed soldier begin? Were there even things in between, was she – could she – be anything more to anyone?

Overwatch told her that she was the next generation of heroes when she was younger. The army told her she was just another able body with a gun when she enlisted. Helix told her she was one of the greatest security chiefs they had when she returned from missions. Jalal told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world when he had first kissed her.

Jalal had made her feel like more than what she felt. He made her feel like an individual person, not a spare Ana Amari or a spare soldier or a spare security chief. When he died – when she killed him, she no longer felt like an individual. Fareeha could never say the same things he said herself and believe them, it all felt empty. Convincing herself she was worth anything other than to replace the fallen wasn't worth the effort and wasted time.

Fareeha accepted her fate. Accepted the fact that she'd never actually be Fareeha, that she'd always be the shadow of Ana Amari, legendary sniper, war hero, founder of Overwatch. She forced herself to conform to the shape of her mother, forced herself to carry herself to the higher standard, to the arrogance her mother had shown.

If her mother had been more than that it didn't matter. Ana had laughed in the face of danger, so must her daughter. Ana had boasted about her natural talent and prowess on the battlefield, so must her daughter. Ana had been a pillar of strength and never showed weakness, so must her daughter. Ana had died fighting, so must her daughter.

Fareeha was worthless unless she conformed. The chance to unravel her own fate, to find herself, had been lost to the years. She had been held to such a height that if she were to fall she would never rise again.

But Fareeha had fallen. When she lost Jalal, when she lost Okoro and Khalil, when she lost so many men due to her jadedness. And she was falling again because Angela was gone.

Angela made Fareeha stop seeing herself as her mother, made her feel like she had the right to be Fareeha and only Fareeha. Angela opened her heart and let her confess what she felt, Angela let her feel. Angela told her she was worth living for herself, told her that she was warm and safe and comforting.

Angela made Fareeha feel like she could stop acting and just live. Fareeha wanted to stop acting and just live. But how could she possibly live knowing that she causes so much pain? It would have been better if her mother had lived, if Fareeha had listened to the voice in her head that told her to eat lead.

Fareeha wouldn't be in so much pain right now if she wasn't alive. She wouldn't be in so much pain if Angela was still breathing.

She sobbed into Jesse's neck, clinging tightly to him and refusing to let go. It didn't seem real. I couldn't be real. Who was she suppose to talk to now, who was she suppose to eat sweets with and watch kids films with? Who was she suppose to care about now, who was she suppose to love?

Fareeha gasped at the thought, her chest constricting at her revelation. Did she love Angela? She loved how untamable her hair seemed to be. She loved how passionate she'd get when discussing travel. She loved how little wrinkles would form around her eyes when she smiled.

It didn't feel like the love she had felt in previous relationships. That sort of love was only for how physically satisfying her partners could be and the praise she received from them. That kind of love was hollow and had no ground to stand on, and that's why Fareeha never stayed. Her mother taught her that lesson well.

Angela was so easy to love, but not in any way Fareeha had loved before. Perhaps it had to do with how backwards their relationship had begun. Perhaps it had to do with how shattered they both were. There were endless possibilities, but they couldn't stop the conclusion she came to. Fareeha loved Angela for making her want to live.

But what was the point now? Fareeha became acutely aware at Jesse's Peacekeeper in it's holster. It was loaded, it was always loaded. She was faster than Jesse, it could be done in seconds. No, he's suffered enough. A soft voice whispered in her ear, Angela's voice, So have you. And you will continue to until you die.

The soldier detached herself from the cowboy and slowly rose to her feet, her body shaking from the chill she couldn't rid herself of. Fareeha watched Torbjörn try again and again, breathing air into Angela's lungs one last time.

He sat back, his expression eerily neutral. Lena held her bomber jacket out to him and he took it without looking at her. The jacket was gently spread over Angela's face and Torbjörn turned his back on the scene, walking a few paces down the beach. He didn't make it but just more few steps before he collapsed to his knees, hunched in the sand and unmoving.

Fareeha returned her gaze to Angela – to the body. It wasn't Angela. Angela was dead because of her.

Death shouldn't bother her, she's been surrounded by it since she was born. Fareeha was born in death and she has lived in death. The first time it staggered her, threw her into a mindless realm of unpassing time was when she received the news that her mother had been killed in action.

She knew deep down that her mother wouldn't want her to mourn, that she'd want her to continue forward and not look back. But Fareeha barely knew her mother and would never have the chance to.

It seemed like Fareeha knew Angela for a lifetime despite the short three months spent together. And despite being surrounded by friends, by family, Fareeha was alone once again. She had strayed away from faith long ago, but perhaps it was just God's will that she be alone for forever.

Maybe she deserved to be. She was always so angry for no reason, would become filled with rage over the smallest things and lash out at people. She lashed out to Angela more than once, so maybe this was the chain reaction.

But she shouldn't dwell on the past. She was the new Ana Amari, and she had to move on.

Her feet carried her to her discarded armor, collecting the scratched metal plates and tucking them under her arms. Fareeha picked up her helmet last and turned to Jesse. “The mission is over. We need to leave.” He stared up at her in confusion and disbelief.

The hurt on his face should have affected her, but Fareeha let herself be numb. When Jesse didn't move she left him, walking past him and away from the scene. Her rocket launcher wasn't among her things, probably lost to the sea. It was a shame, she would have loved to do nothing more than fire it at her own chest just so she could feel anything. Another shame that she'd have to wait to feel until they were back in Gibraltar where her combat knife await her in it's case, tucked under her bed.

It was a feeling returned to her, it didn't make her feel anything but ashamed of herself, but it was better than feeling like wood.

Fareeha stopped walking when Lena suddenly cried out. It wasn't a cry of pain or sorrow, but of surprise. Fareeha turned to look over her shoulder in time to watch the body slowly raise into a sitting position.

The jacket slid off, eyes slowly blinking and fingers gradually moving. A hand was raised to her nose and came away bloody, Angela's eyebrows narrowing at the sight. “Wh-what happened?” She asked slowly, her accent thick and her voice gravelly.

Fareeha stood still as everyone else surrounded the Swiss woman. She felt frozen to the spot as she watched the dead woman look around the group in confusion. Blue eyes met brown, and Fareeha could feel again. She could feel the guilt and shame inside her, but the relief she felt overpowered them in the moment. She collapsed to the ground, body shaking from more than the cold as she wailed into her hands.

She couldn't remember boarding the ORCA, couldn't remember who gave her a paper cup of hot tea, couldn't remember being swaddled like a baby in a thick blanket.

She could remember Angela's corpse laying in the sand now sitting beside her with a similar paper cup and thick blanket.

Angela's nose was still bleeding, tissues stuffed up her nostrils to try and staunch the flow. She looked exhausted, dark bags under her eyes and her face a little whiter, but she was breathing. She was here. Fareeha wasn't alone.

Fareeha wanted to ask how the hell Angela had suddenly risen from the dead but couldn't move her tongue. She felt horrible, her head pounding and throat sore from sea water and crying. Her entire body ached with every move and her stumps were cramping fiercely. She could barely sit up in the small booth seat the two were currently resting on, but it was alright as they were supporting each other.

Angela leaned against Fareeha's shoulder and Fareeha leaned against Angela's head. Reinhardt said it was best for them to stick together to try and conduct more heat but they would have been together despite it.

It would be just around three in Gibraltar if the clock above Angela's head was right. Fareeha pulled her arm out of her blanket and and carefully placed it around the blonde. Angela sighed and snuggled into the hold, her cold nose poking Fareeha in the neck.

“I was so scared.” Angela whispered, “I thought I lost you.”

Fareeha still couldn't bring herself to speak. Whether it was her exhaustion or her fear of confessing her feelings, she responded by pulling Angela closer and closing her eyes.

She was in pain, physically, mentally, emotionally. But she was alive. They were both alive. That made it worth the pain to Fareeha.

Their tea had been set on the table before them, one blanket being discarded in favor of one. Angela lay back on the seat, Fareeha following her and resting her head on the blonde's collarbone. She nearly rose at Angela's wince but was halted by a hand in her hair keeping her where she was. “It's alright. It's just my back, it's still repairing itself.” Angela softly said.

Fareeha narrowed her brows at the words. Repairing itself? It spurred more questions she was itching to have answered. But she still couldn't speak, was still too numb to make any noise. So Fareeha let Angela's fingers gently massage her scalp as she slowly drifted off. They were alive, they were safe, they were together.

There was nothing to be feared when Angela held Fareeha. Not her legacy, not Siwa, not death. There were so many emotions felt when Angela held Fareeha and it all culminated into one thought, one word.

Home.

“-so there I was, surrounded by three, no, four bandits.” Jesse held his fork up like he was looking down the sights of Peacekeeper and continued his story, “I told'em I'd give'em a chance to turn tail and turn themselves into to the local sheriff, but they weren't havin' it. Tried to act all tough and barred their teeth at me.”

Fareeha had her cheek against her fist, listening half-heartedly to the cowboy's tall-tale as she pushed a rather large chunk of chicken around her bowl of soup. Lena had already burned through four bowls of the stuff and had been eyeballing Fareeha's for a while, but she was thankfully distracted by Jesse.

Distraction was welcomed by everyone since Illios. Fareeha, for example, had distracted herself by spending the past week in the armory with Torbjörn arguing over how to repair the Raptora.

She was hellbent on repairing it herself with the small kit she took from Helix, but the Swede continuously insisted upon helping. Having to explain the difference between the high octane graphene primary layer and the carbon fiber under armor for what felt like the millionth time was highly grating on Fareeha's nerves. She would have thought he'd know all of this but he continued to ask the same questions over and over again.

When she would reach her boiling point with Torbjörn she would go to the gym to try and blow off steam. She was usually alone, thank god, but earlier her workout had been interrupted by Angela.

The doctor still hadn't fully explained herself for what the hell happened in Illios, always giving vague answers about the Valkyrie suit or the development of her nanites before whisking herself away to do something in her office. It made frustrated Fareeha to no end, but she kept reminding herself that no matter what had happened, it was a harsh thing Angela went through and shouldn't have to be pushed to talk about. That Fareeha knew from experience.

Angela entering the gym was a surprise to say the least, and Fareeha nearly dropped the weights she was lifting on her own foot when Angela walked around to get her attention. The admittance to herself that she felt something for the doctor intensified even more at that moment, and Fareeha kicked herself for not noticing the fact that she always felt like this.

Fareeha avoided Angela like the plague when it came to the gym solely because she couldn't stop looking at her. Angela always wore the same salmon coloured tank top that showed off the multitude of scars up and down her arms and shoulders as well as a few freckles. She always wore the same grey leggings that made Fareeha realized just how wide her hips and thighs were. But worst of all, Angela always wore thin rimmed, round glasses and had enough bobby pins to hijack a commercial airliner in a failed attempt to pin her bangs back.

In conclusion, Fareeha found Angela insanely adorable, so much so that upon first viewing she did drop a weight on her foot. She couldn't get enough of the look of the usually smartly dressed doctor and, although she would never in her life admit it, couldn't take her eyes off Angela as she did her workout. The first time Fareeha helped Angela with her form for squatting she thought she was going to pass out.

And so she decided for the sake of decency to work out whenever Angela wasn't. Fareeha had slapped herself plenty of times over how childish it was. She was a soldier, she was used to working out with other well-fit bodies and not feeling flustered. But upon further thought maybe well-fit was the key. Angela didn't have a body that was hard with muscles, which threw Fareeha for a loop.

So when Angela was suddenly in front of her in her usual work out clothing, Fareeha's mind began struggling to find a reason to leave. Angela motioned for her to take her earphones out and Fareeha obeyed, raising a questioning brow.

“Haven't seen you in here in a while! Well, I see you leaving occasionally.” She cleared her throat and motioned to weight bench, “I was wondering if you'd help me. It's, uh, been a while.”

Fareeha nodded and followed her to the bench, stopping and narrowing her brows. “Are you sure you should be bench pressing? Torbjörn told me that the Valkyrie suit's wings were stabbed into your back, you couldn't have fully healed in just a week even with nanites.”

Angela opened and closed her mouth and Fareeha folded her arms across her chest, “How are you even here?” She hesitated a moment before forcing herself to come out with it, “You died, Angela. So how are you alive right now?”

The Swiss woman lowered her gaze and sat on the bench, clasping her hands together and sighing. “A few years into my time in Overwatch I had a theory about nanites. They can't exist inside the body for long before they try and 'repair' what isn't broken and begin eating away at the flesh. That's why I developed them to decay themselves and be destroyed by white blood cells.”

Angela paused and rubbed her hands up and down her arms as if cold, still not meeting Fareeha's gaze. “My theory was this: what if I could find a way to merge a nanite with a white blood cell? That way instead of destroying flesh after healing it could assist in fighting off infection. The first few tests weren't as successful as I had hoped, but I needed results.”

She bit her lip and softly admitted, “I...may have jumped through a few hoops to achieve what I wanted. I won't go into the details of it, but in summary: I found a way to keep nanites in a body without decay and without fusing them. They're less sentient than normal nanites and they can't be used as actively because of this. It...takes them a while to 'warm up', but after a short period they are able to repair more than regular nanites.”

Fareeha's chest felt a little tighter at the knowledge and she slowly asked, “So you have nanites that live in your body all the time?” Angela nodded. “And they...resurrected you?”

“I wouldn't call it that!” Angela quickly said, “It's not that simple, there's an order to how they operate that's at least a mile long, but it's not like that!”

Fareeha made a face and couldn't help but laugh. “I'm sorry, but you were dead. Not breathing, gone. And then you're suddenly back to life, poof, no big deal? That's not being resurrected?”

Angela's voice was small as she asked, “Please don't call it that.” Fareeha frowned at this but didn't say anything. “I never intended for it to be like this. I just wanted to stop soldiers from coming back in body bags. I just wanted the nanites to be able to instantly heal wounds instead of having to be inserted directly via the Caduceus staff or other conductors.”

“The truth is, I don't know. I have no idea what this,” Angela articulated by holding her hands out in front of herself, “is. The only thing I know is that I've successfully Frankensteined myself and I don't know how the hell to fix it.” She laughed bitterly and formed fists, “Guess it's what I get, what a cruel but fitting punishment for playing God, huh?”

Fareeha felt guilty for asking but more so for upsetting the woman. “Angela, I'm sorry.” She moved to sit beside her on the bench, their thighs barely touching. It took her a moment to bring herself to confess, and when she did it all came out at once.

“I thought someone else I cared about died because I fucked up. When I came to on the beach and saw you lying there it felt like the whole world ended. I didn't know if I could go on, or where to go from there.”

Angela took Fareeha's hand and laced their fingers together, nodding for her to continue. “Angela I...” She trailed off, hesitant to say what she wanted to. Fareeha had said the words 'I love you' so many times to so many people that it didn't feel enough, like it wasn't special enough.

She didn't even know if this was what love was. Fareeha had rushed into so many relationships in a search to feel some form of closeness and Angela deserved more, deserved better. Yes, Fareeha felt love for Angela, but whether or not it was the same love her parents had – a love that vanished after time – or the love the children's movies sang about Fareeha didn't know.

So she told her in the most honest way she could. “I don't want to lose you.” Fareeha whispered, tightening their hand hold and looking into blue eyes, “I don't want to hurt you either, and I'm sorry if I pushed too much. Thank you for telling me, I see now how hard it was to.”

Angela smiled and sighed in relief, “I've never told anyone about it before. I think Torbjörn knows because he's a parent and what doesn't he know about me at this point?” She reached up to remove her glasses and sternly said, “I'm not going to lose or hurt you either, Fareeha. But you have to stop being so damn reckless. Would it kill you to listen to me when I tell you to stay put?”

“Guess we'll have to find out.” Fareeha said with a smirk, Angela shaking her head and laughing. They were so close, Fareeha noticed, inches apart. It would be so easy to close the distance and kiss her with the passion and emotion Fareeha was feeling right now. But that wasn't what Angela deserved, she decided, Angela deserved better.

“You look like you're thinking too much,” Angela squeezed her hand, bringing her out of her thoughts.

Fareeha couldn't help but turn the charm on and raise her eyebrows, “If thinking about you is too much then guilty as charged.” Angela covered her mouth to stifle her chortle, her eyes bugging out slightly as she snorted into her laugh. This caused her to laugh harder and snort a few more times, Fareeha grinning big.

“You snort!” Fareeha laughed in return and Angela quickly bat her on the shoulder and denied it furiously.

“If you tell anyone...” Angela began before laughing again and shaking her head, “oh I don't know what I'll do, but you'll regret it.”

The challenge spurred Fareeha on, curiosity to see the doctor do her worse leading to Fareeha reenacting it all to Jesse hours later. He appreciated it greatly, already creating four new jokes by the time he stopped laughing.

Which is why when Angela entered the rec room to get herself a bowl of soup, Fareeha nudged Jesse and nodded towards the doctor. He grinned and winked at her in understanding, halting his story to wave to the blonde. “Well, you're just the porcine I was looking for, Angie! C'mon and sit down here next to me, I promise I won't boar you to death!”

Fareeha had taken to biting her lip to keep herself from openly laughing, Lena raising an eyebrow but laughing cautiously. Angela only stared.

“What's the hold up?” Jesse asked, leaning across the table, “Don't tell me you're piggy about where you sit!” He sealed Fareeha's fate when he pushed his nose up and gave out a loud snort.

Angela's face went beet red and the cowboy laughed, wiping his eyes and waving his hands, “Wait, please God, wait just a second before you hog-tie me, I got more!”

Her death glare turned to Fareeha and it suddenly wasn't funny anymore to the Egyptian.

Angela walked past the table, pausing to lean down and whisper in Fareeha's ear. “I'm going to make you regret this, Fareeha Almas Amari.” Color drained from Fareeha's face and Angela took notice with a cheeky grin, “Uh oh, didn't think I'd abuse power and dig into your personal file, eh? I play dirty, something you probably should have known before you started this.”

She walked out of the room with a little wave and a smile that was pure evil, “Have a good lunch, Jesse, Lena, Reba.”

Jesse was on Fareeha instantly, “Reba? Reba?” She couldn't hide her blush if she tried.

Lena grabbed Jesse's arm tightly and wheezed out, “R-Reba McEntire!” The two were gone, tears forming in their eyes.

Fareeha pushed her soup around it's bowl and mumbled under her breath, “You mispronounce your own name once and your family never lets it go.”

“Wait, you mispronounced your own name?!” Jesse gasped, Fareeha quickly reeling back to try and explain herself.

“I was barely talking when it happened! I wasn't even two and I couldn't say 'Fareeha'! It's a hard name!”

The gunslinger shook his head and wiped his eyes, “Oh lord, I think I'm gonna puke. That's funnier then a cat with a 'tater chip bag on it's head.

Okay, so maybe I thought wrong. Fareeha thought to herself as she shoved Jesse roughly with a smile of her own, Maybe I don't love Angela after all...

As she ate her soup she couldn't help but smile to herself, remembering the way Angela said her full name. Despite being said as a threat, it sounded so lovely in that Swiss German accent. It was a lovely sound Fareeha would gladly accept ridicule for if it meant she could hear it again.

...but then again what the hell do I know?

#Pharmercy #Fareeha Amari #Angela Ziegler #Pharmercy Fic #Overwatch

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