#she's a monster fucker your honor

[sniperct]

when your OC gets rave reviews (and also yes the color palette is awesome and everything I'd wanted for her)

[hotpinkboots]

okay listen. fellow monsterfuckers. we talk about this way too much:

AND WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH:

LIKE. SHE LOOKS HORRIFIC. AND I LOVE HER FOR IT

[alavestineneas]

Together

pairing: Johanna Mason x fem!reader

summary: Johanna hears the baker assure Katniss. District 12 tributes remind her so much of them. She was once seventeen, and she was once blindly in love. It irritates her—why are they allowed to be like this? Why did she have to hide?

warnings: mentions of suicide attempt, typical hunger games violence

''I think I'll retire quite sooner than I intended with that girl,'' Blight announced, flopping down on the sofa with a distinct sound.

Haymitch chuckled at the man's visible misery, passing him a glass from the nearest tray. ''Is she back at it again?''

Blight nodded in defeat. ''I tried to be understanding, you know, with all of that happening to her family, but my nose is bleeding for the second time this week.''

Haymitch mastered a sympathetic face.  "I've met a lot of monsters, but teenage girls are by far the worst beasts.''

Y/N rolled her eyes at them. ''I'll talk to her.''

Blight looked at her as if she had three heads. "There is no point unless you want a black eye instead of that makeup.''

''Well, I am also a teenage girl, which is what you are so afraid of,'' Y/N said as she stood up from the couch and straightened her dress. ''If I am not back after half an hour, call security.''

''Or doctors,'' muttered Blight under his breath.

"Or doctors." Y/N shrugged.

To be fair, Y/N was quite intrigued by Johanna Mason, the most recent victor. Cunning, quick, and violent—this is what the media tried to portray her as. Y/N knew better than to trust their vision—after all, according to them, she herself was the Capitol's darling, bathing in love and fame for the past two years.

Judging from the sound, somebody was moving furniture in the room. Y/N knocked, more out of habit than from need. The doors in the Capitol are never fully locked—another illusion for a fake sense of privacy.

"I said go fuck yourself, or did I completely knock out your brain?'' a girl's voice responded from within.

Y/N chuckled. "Is this how you talk to your elders?"

The pacing around the room stopped.

''Who are you?'' the Mason girl asked, obviously surprised.

"You'll find out when you open this door—not the best way to start a friendly conversation, is it?"

The loud thuds continued as if nothing had happened.

Y/N sighed. Why can't things be easy for once? She pressed the hidden silver button, and the door unlocked.

A girl with black hair looked at her with wide eyes. She was standing on the chair, holding a piece of rope.

''Hanging? Very original, I'll give you that.''

''What do you want?'' the girl grumbled, undoubtedly dissatisfied with the failed attempt.

''I want you to come down and get dressed,'' Y/N answered, glancing at the undone bed and shattered glass everywhere. ''As simple as that.''

''No.'' The girl looked determined, still standing on the chair. ''I am not going to another idiotic party with those fuckers.''

''Really? I hope you believe in ghosts, because you'll be dead tomorrow morning.''

''I don't care. I don't want to live anyway.''

''Has anyone ever told you that you are such an egocentric bitch?'' Y/N asked, leaning against the wall. She surely got Mason's attention with that—the girl looked at her, insulted.

''Excuse me?''

''You should've just died in that arena and given somebody a chance to live. Take my tribute, Elly. Do you know how much she wanted to survive? Why steal her chance if you'll waste yours anyway?''

"My entire family is gone, and you want me to smile for the cameras?"

"You are correct; they would have been overjoyed to learn that you honored them by killing yourself over a damn party."

The girl stared at Y/N, debating whether she should listen, before getting off the chair with a slight thud.

''I'm Johanna.'', she mumbled.

Y/N grinned.  "Nice to meet you, Johanna. Now let's show these bastards who they are messing with.''  

-

Y/N writes to her almost every week. Johanna has learned the schedule by now - she writes on Saturdays, and on Thursdays, a white envelope is sitting on the porch. She complains about life in District 8, the horrendous dresses she got as presents for her birthday, or how her make-up team appeared to lose their taste after changing the designer.

Johanna never answers. She tells herself it is for the best—she can't get attached to anybody. Mason keeps all the letters neatly stocked in the first drawer of the closet. She won't admit it, but she rereads them every evening. Then, it's easy to pretend they are just two ordinary 17-year-olds.

She doesn't allow herself to answer. Not until Y/N mentions that she is back at the Capitol. Johanna knows what it means—while her friend got to keep her family, it cost her a lot. Only then, she takes a pen and sits at the table, scribbling a response.

It looks messy—nothing like the nicely curved letters Y/N has. She rewrote half of a paper five times. Johanna shoves it into the envelope and sends it off before she can change her mind. She can't help but smile when she gets an answer. Y/N doodled a funny figure, suspiciously similar to Johanna's, covered in spikes. Mason gets the message—she will write more often.

-

Johanna mentors for the first time; her tributes are both alive, which has been rare for so long in the Games. The mentors' lounge is not as crowded as it was in the morning; most of the past victors take turns monitoring the arena. The quiet chatter is the only sound besides the screen. They talk about a dinner tomorrow, a new escort, stylists—anything but the Games.

Y/N is also here - the boy from District 8 is still hiding. They both know the game makers won't allow it for too long. Y/N anxiously fidgets with the rings on her hands, staring at the void. Johanna guesses they are never getting used to it—even older mentors are visibly uneasy, almost too drunk to walk a straight line.

A scream draws her attention back to the screen. A massive, tiger-like creature charged at the boy Y/N mentors. He tries to fight it off with the nearest stick, screaming in horror as the animal opens its mouth and takes a bite of his leg, tearing it off.

Johanna's head flies at Y/N; she is already watching, lips pursed into a white line. More screams ring in the now silent room, along with sounds of growls and what Johanna believes to be the sound of tearing flesh. Finally, the screaming stops; the camera changes to Career's pack.

The mentors try to hide their gaze from the Y/N's figure as she stands up from the couch and leaves the room, her steps echoing in the hallway.

The District Two mentor pours himself a glass of whiskey, downing it in one go; most mentors follow him, and the conversation completely vanishes.

Johanna tries to recollect herself, adjusting the hem of her shirt. The boy's blood-stained face still runs through her mind, so she doesn't notice a figure behind her until somebody places a hand on her shoulder.

''Go talk to her. I'll watch.''

It's a blonde woman from District One - Cashmere or Gloss, Johanna was not sure. She wants to argue but quickly changes her mind. The woman obviously means no harm. So, Johanna nods.

She finds Y/N easily - she is in the training room, sparring with animated figures with a spear. Johanna recalls Y/N telling her that the only reason she chose spears was because they resembled the sticks she used to practice with at District 8. Mason thinks she was joking - her friend was hitting every target with ease right now.

Johanna sits down beside the girl on the burnished metal floor. She was never good with words; it was Y/N who always seemed to know what to say.

''I'm sorry.''

''He was very happy to eat ice cream, you know?'' Y/N says, her voice faint.

"It was his wish?"

Y/N nods. ''It makes them feel better, I think. Hell, it makes me feel better about sending them to their deaths—to know I did something good for those kids.'' She looks down at her hands, her lips trembling. ''He was a nice kid and died such a horrible death, Jo, such a terrible, cruel death.''

Y/N's voice breaks.

She leans into Johanna's embrace, and Mason almost instinctively wraps her hands around her friend's shaking shoulders. It was the first time she saw Y/N like this. Without a mask Capitol made her wear, without the walls she built around herself. Just Y/N.

''We are going to be alright,'' Johanna says.

She hopes her words sound convincing. Of course, they're a lie - nothing is ever okay in this messed-up world. They both know this, but Y/N still whispers a small thank you.

Johanna's heart aches, and a familiar warm sensation spreads through her chest. She resists the urge to wipe the tears off her friend's face. They are friends, and Johanna is happy with that. It is still a lot more than she deserves.

-

Today is Y/N's birthday, and the Capitol is throwing a big party for "the favorite." Johanna doesn't ask why she has this title. Of course, they adore her - Y/N won the Games when she was fifteen. She grew up in front of the camera, and, what is more flawed, she grew up with people behind it.

It is easily seen when Y/N's face changes each time she walks on the stage. Her warm eyes transform into big doe eyes, and a picture-perfect smile appears. She is a perfect actress, quick to come up with a witty remark or play into the naïve girl they view her as.

She won the Games that way; Johanna has to remind herself. Y/N got a 3 as a training score, possessing almost none of the fighting skills. She did, however, know what the Capitol wanted: someone charming, attractive, and willing to put on a show. That and the desert arena got her where she is now.

The perfect victor now lays on the floor next to Johanna, her head on Mason's lap. They are both twenty-one now, not that their age ever stopped them from stealing the alcohol. The party is tomorrow, and Snow wants to put on a show. For now, they can live.

''Jo, can I tell you something? But you must promise not to be angry.''

Mason responds with a hum; she enjoys hearing her rash ideas. The braid she is making out of Y/N's hair is coming out not like she intended, and Johanna huffs in annoyance. ''Just spill it, would you?''

Y/N's face becomes serious. ''I think I am in love with you. And to be fair, it scares the shit out of me.''

The world stops for a second. Johanna thinks she did not hear it right, but there is no other way to understand this. She feels her heartbeat in her ears, loud enough to cover any other noise.

''Well. Yell, scream, or say something. Anything.'' Y/N sits up, a half-finished braid falling undone.

''We can't,'' Johanna says nervously, licking her lips.

''So, you feel this way too?''

"No, that is not the point. We can't do this.''

''Why?'' Y/N takes her hand in hers. ''They'll have to allow it. We can even be a secret if you want to. We'll figure it out, I promise.''

''No.'' Johanna shakes her head. ''You know what happens to the people I love, Y/N. One wrong step, and you will be dead. I can't do this, not again.''

Y/N pauses. "I think you are just afraid to be happy."

"No," Johanna whispers, "I'm afraid of losing you."

Y/N blinks, fighting the tears gathering in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but Johanna was faster.

''I'll go. It's late.'' If she stays any longer, she might lose it.

The door behind her closes with a loud bang. The realization comes suddenly - she lost the only person who loved her. Johanna lets out a few choked sobs, sliding against the nearest wall in a small, empty hall. The worst part is that she loved her too.

-

Johanna is mad—furious even. The Capitol already did everything in its power to break her, yet here she is, going back into the arena. Her reaping wasn't that much of a surprise; she is the only female victor in District 7. Johanna is convinced every name drawn wasn't random—a brother and sister from District One, Finnick and his sweetheart Annie, Y/N.

They meet in the bathroom before the interviews, of all places. Y/N is attempting to remove the mascara from her eyelid, and Johanna is trying hard not to laugh - if only the cameras saw her like this, she would undoubtedly win over all of the sponsors. No other victor radiated as much anger and determination as she does now.

''Stop laughing and come help me,'' Y/N grumbles.

Johanna grins. ''I wasn't laughing.''

''Yeah, whatever.'' Y/N watches as Johanna picks up a napkin and dips its end in the water.

''Close your eyes.''

Y/N does what she is told, the corners of her lips twitching. ''Yes, ma'am.'' She earns a slap on the hand from Johanna. ''Ouch! What was that for?"

"Not everything has to be a sex joke, you know?"

''Well, where is the fun in that?" Y/N opens her eyes. Johanna's face is inches away from hers. ''Jo...''

''Shut up," she mumbles, covering the girl's lips with hers.

Y/N throws her arms around her, pressing Johanna's body as close as humanly possible. The kiss is hard. Griping. Almost painful. It's like they can't get enough of each other. But Johanna wouldn't want it any other way.

Y/N pulls away first, watching Johanna take a few rushed breaths in. ''I thought we couldn't do it,'' she jokes.

Mason rolls her eyes.  "I liked your mouth closed better."

Y/N's face turns serious, her playful expression vanishing. ''Regarding that. Give them hell. For me.''

Johanna nods. ''I promise.''

-

It wasn't supposed to be easy, and Johanna is reminded of that by stupid birds; while she pities Finnick and Katniss, she is also jealous - they still have someone to care for. Mason doesn't know if Y/N is still alive - the last time she saw her was at the Bloodbath. She can't swim.

''They won't touch Prim!''

Johanna hears the baker assure Katniss. District 12 tributes remind her so much of them. She was once seventeen, and she was once blindly in love. It irritates her—why are they allowed to be like this? Why did she have to hide?

''Your fiancé's right. The whole country loves your sister. Forget the districts; there will be riots in the Capitol if they torture or harm her.'' Johanna turns to the cameras and yells. ''Hey, how does that sound, Snow? What if we set your backyard on fire? You know you can't put everybody in here!''

She feels the stares of her alliance on her, but frankly, she does not care anymore. ''What? He can't hurt me. There's no one left that I love.''

Finnick glances at her, eyebrows raised. He knows. Y/N was his friend too.

-

Johanna tries to meet her fate with anger at first. It served her well throughout her life, as she dealt with every adversity with sarcasm and insults. Mason maintains her arrogance, refusing to allow them to hear her screams or begs. Johanna refused to be turned into entertainment, even after losing. She didn't cry when they cut her hair or beat her. She told herself, "The help is near.''

It provoked them more. The torture becomes more violent day by day until Johanna is exhausted. She has endured it for weeks, and help still hasn't come. She just wants to slump in her chains and silently take it.

The breadboy's cells are next to hers; she hears his screams more than she does her own. Johanna wasn't sure how much time had passed until she heard another familiar cry.

It's Y/N. Mason can swear on the remains of her sanity that it was her voice. She was alive. It takes Johanna everything not to show how much those shouts affected her—it could mean more torture for the District 8 victor.

Johanna now awoke from Y/N's screams and drifted into unconsciousness with them, as if by clockwork. The torture was sometimes worse than electricity. Her biggest fear came true—she sacrificed their happiness for nothing.

Mason is drawn away from her thoughts by another couple of screams. The sound of water pouring fills her ears - it's all happening again.

-

Johanna finds herself even more isolated when they are finally rescued. In a sense, they were in this together in the Capitol; she could at least hear other people, even if it was just screams. Johanna was now completely alone; whereas Peeta had Katniss and Annie had Finnick, Johanna had no one to look out for her. Johanna doesn't want to fight anymore. She is tired. There is a void in her soul, and she doesn't know how to fix it.

The doctors here tell her it's okay not to feel understood, but Johanna knows old Y/N would. She always somehow did. Mason wonders why everyone in her life despises her - what has she done to deserve this? Why do others have someone to return to, someone in their right mind? Why couldn't it be them?

Y/N was still under the constant attention of the doctors. They meet twice a week under strict supervision. Y/N listens to Johanna attentively each time, but something about her gaze feels odd. She can't place it - Y/N is distant and quiet, but that's unusual. Mason tells herself that it was the outcome of the torture they had to survive and that she'll get better with time. It's not her Y/N, but Johanna can't be the one speaking. The Capitol changed them both.

It finally clicks for Johanna when she hears that doctors found a knife in Y/N's room. A knife that she intended to use. It was the absence of hope in her eyes that felt unusual; before, it was always there.

''You are such a hypocrite, you know that?" Johanna tells her. They are in a hospital ward. Y/N's face is tear-stained, and yet, she doesn't answer. ''Remember what you told me the first time we met? That you have to live for those who can't?''

Johanna is angry. She is furious, both with Y/N and with herself, as well as with everyone in this dreadful building. Why can't they understand?

''Well, maybe I lied.'' Y/N's voice is hoarse. It was the first time she had spoken since their rescue. ''There is no point in living anymore, Jo. There always was none.'' She shifts on her bed, looking up at Johanna. ''It never gets better. So it's fairer if we end it now and save ourselves a lot of suffering. ''

''No.'' Johanna's hands are in fists, and she comes closer to the woman in front of her. ''You are not fucking allowed to decide that, not when I spent all those days staying alive and sane for you. Do you hear me? Not for me, for you! I woke up and listened to your screams. I thought about you before I fell asleep because I knew we would get a chance to finally have a normal life when this was over. And now you're saying there's no point?''

Y/N's lower lip trembles, with glimmery tears running down her sunken cheeks. ''I'm sorry.''

Johanna sighs and settles in next to her. ''Look, I can't promise anything. I don't know if it will ever be okay. But we can try.''

Y/N looks at her, and her eyes are finally warm again. ''Together?'' she asks.

Johanna feels the knots in her chest loosening for the first time in a while. ''Together.'', she nods.

[rmoonstoner]

Just A Taste

***

Pairing:

SPIDER-Man/Man-Spider Peter Parker x fem!Sorceress!reader

Warnings:

18+, monster fucker smut, oral(female receiving), p in v sex, cream pie, biting, scratching, sex pollen(it's Peter's venom), size kink(peen is massive), mild rope kink, sex with a man spider, come eating, cum dumpster, a bit of ass play, over stimulation, sweet and rough monster boi

***

Summary:

You are Doctor Strange's and Christine's daughter. Your mother died a long time ago, and your father now runs the Sorcerer's Guild and is the Sorcerer Supreme of Earth 591D3R. You are your father's apprentice and live in the New York Sanctum. One night, a break in the Sanctum causes you to make friends with an unlikely creature.

***

One night, your father had asked you to watch over the Sanctum while he attended a meeting with the other Masters. It was concerning a rebuild of the Kamar-Taj after Wanda came through like a hell storm. You didn't want to go there anyways, because it wouldn't matter what opinion you had, everyone would ignore you and ask the doctor for advice. It didn't matter that he would give the same answer, only for them to be delighted about it and pretend you never said anything in the first place.

Lucky for you, Stephen had noticed, and that was another reason you weren't accompanying him this time. He was going to bring up the elephant in the room, and question the others as to why they treated you like a child. You were twenty two years old, and had been practicing magic since you were three.

He was confident that you could replace him soon, mostly so he could retire and go live with his girlfriend on Mars. You wanted that for him, more than the title of Sorcerer Supreme. She made your father happier than you'd ever seen him, aside from the times you would make him proud with your ever growing abilities in the Mystic Arts. He was nearly fifty years old now, and he'd been a grumpy old wizard for most of your life until he met the beautiful plant lady, who also happened to be a mutant.

That opened your eyes to the possibilities that were out there. You didn't have to limit yourself to your own kind, and your dad wouldn't care who you chose, so long as they made you happy and treated you right. You had your fair share of flings the past two years, and none of them seemed right for you.

There was always something lacking in the people you went on dates with. At first the potential partners were boring normal people. That was fine, but you found that their physical appearances, no matter how socially attractive they were, didn't really get you going. The sex was just as boring and unsatisfactory as the dates were.

And it didn't help things any that almost all of your dates were absolutely trying to brown nose their way into talking to your father. They treated you like some dumb little girl, and that pissed you off so much. Didn't they know that you were your father's daughter? Didn't they know that you inherited all his will and strive for greatness? Did they forget your memory was just as perfect as your father's, and you could be as petty as the great Doctor Strange?

No. They never did. And they never saw it coming when you started to ghost these people and ignore them. The last date you went on, was with some guy named Harry Osborne, the son of a rich business owner. The guy was a self-centered douche, and he spent the entire night talking about how he could make a lot more tech, if he could just get his hands on a magical energy generator. That the last one he had, didn't work the way he needed, so he 'disposed' of it like it was trash

He wasn't subtle about you being the generator, either. He acted like it would be such an honor for you to basically be his battery to power his laboratory. By the time the wine hit the table, you had gotten up and declared that you were not interested in being a glorified Barbie battery, and you left through a portal right there in the dining hall of the most prestigious restaurant that New York had.

That had been two weeks ago, and since then, tabloids went through the local and international news about how the Sorcerer Supreme's daughter had bravely turned down a corporate tyrant. Some painted you as the bad guy while most of the others printed that he was a jerk that tried barking up the wrong tree.

Either way, when your father read about it, he ended up making an appearance in his classic and terrifying smoke and brimstone way at Oscorp. He raised a big stink about how Norman's son was an idiot and to stay away from you and his end of the city or else. Poor Norman was confused, because he hadn't been in town for the past two months.

More tabloids went out the following day and claimed that Harry had been demoted. That made you so delighted to hear.

But tonight all you wanted was to watch a good movie and eat absolutely all the snacks that your dad left out for you as a thank you for doing his job for the night. It would be easy, barely an inconvenience, as he had the automated magical security system going, which would alert you to any unauthorized intruders.

The movie in question was a cheesy romance story with subtle horror elements. It was a woman moving to a cabin in the woods, trying to live the simple life. After being there for a few weeks, she started receiving gifts at her doorstep, which was eerie and unnerving, because she lived in the middle of nowhere. Over time, she caught glimpses of a beastly looking creature that would never be there at a second glance.

It ended up being some sort of large man that had multiple arms and multiple eyes like an insect or a spider.

The story went on to the woman catching him in the act of leaving a basket of berries at her door. When she opened the door for him, he jumped back and stared at her, scared and observant. She invited him into her home, and that's when the spicy parts began.

You fanned yourself as you watched the oddly best acted part of the movie. You knew the actors weren't actually having sex, but it was thrilling all the same. Thrilling enough to consider sticking you hand into your pants and enjoying the film's ridiculously long sex scene.

Let's face it, you totally did. When it got nice and good you felt relaxed and really going with the flow, until…

CRASH

You heard a shattering of glass and a loud thud. You jumped and used your magic to pause the television as you turned in the direction of the noise and froze.

You heard the sounds of shuffling, then glass being swept up, and an odd animalistic grumbling. You quickly scooted over to the doorway and peaked out into the hall, seeing a light on in the sitting room your dad used to entertain his guests that weren't heros and just regular everyday people.

Why didn't the alarms go off? Only unauthorized people would trip the sensors, so it had to be someone that was allowed access to the sanctum. Someone your father or you knew.

You got closer and looked into the room, seeing a single old lamp on in the corner, a shadow in the center of the room, sweeping the floor with three brooms. Where did it even find three brooms? Either way, you quickly loaded a couple of spells up into your hands, preparing for an attack if needed.

"Um, hello? Who are you, and why are you in my Sanctum?" You boldly asked as you stepped into the room, hands clearly holding a crackle of blue light in one hand, a conjured shield in the other.

The thing turned around and looked at you as it made a weird chittering noise and motioned to the glass on the floor like it was obvious as to what it was doing. You didn't get any threatening vibes as it went right back to trying, and failing, to clean up its mess from the broken window. You took pity on the poor creature and cancelled your spells out, going to cast a spell to fix the glass and clean up the mess instead. After, you flicked on another lamp to give a little more light.

The creature finally turned around and sighed, giving you a full view of how relieved it was. You saw that it was a man, possibly human, but he was off.

He looked like the creature in the movie you had just been watching, but even more attractive. This one had a beautiful mop of brown hair on his head, and his eight eyes were all twinkling in the light as he stared at you.

"You're… You're not doctor…" He grunted harshly, his mouth opening in the same manner a spider's would if it could talk. You stared at his teeth, the fangs specifically, seeing that he was drooling ever so slightly.

"No. I am not my father." You replied and told him your name. He looked confused.

"Who are you?" You asked, and he slurred a bit to clear the drool from his mouth as he wiped it with one of the backs of his six hands.

"Spider-Man."

"Spider-Man? But dad said you disappeared last summer."

"Oscorp. They did this. To me." He seemed to have troubles speaking. From what you remembered of the stories your father had told you, Spider-Man was a great hero, and he had suddenly vanished last summer and didn't come back. He was thought to be dead.

And Oscorp? Oh God that made you so mad, especially after the Harry incident.

"I should have known… Was it Harry? Did he do this to you?"

The man nodded and groaned as he crouched onto the ground and stretched like a cat, then he sat there staring up at you.

"My dad said you are a scientist. He wouldn't tell me your name, but after that horrible date I had with Harry, his ramblings, and seeing you, I can confidently say that you're Peter Parker." You said softly and he looked surprised.

"How you know?"

"Peter Parker went missing around the same time. Harry talked about you at great length and he mentioned he hates spiders." You replied and he huffed and stood back up, only to sniff the air a few times.

"So, yes, you're Peter Parker? Please answer me." You asked and he looked up at you, his eyes all blinking at once.

"Yes. Also monster. Horrible. Gross." He whined and looked down, his nose still sniffing as he moved along the carpet on all eight limbs towards you. He'd stop occasionally and look around, then keep scuttling until he was at your feet. He sat on his heels and looked up at you, head tilted to the side.

"No. You're not a horrible and gross monster. You're a man with a condition. A hero that needs help." You gently reached out and placed your hand in front of his face to see what he would do.

He leaned forward and sniffed it, and his eyes suddenly closed and he sighed. Peter leaned forward and rubbed his face against your hand, his tongue coming out to lick at your skin. You blushed at how he ran the thick muscle all over your fingers suggestively, and then sucked them into his mouth.

"O-ohhh…" You breathed as you remembered it was that hand that you had used to pleasure yourself during the movie. The thought alone had suddenly made you wetter than you had been during the film, and Peter had instantly noticed.

"Taste and smell good." He rumbled as his hands came up, all six of them, each one reaching for you. Two hands grabbed at your waist, another two grabbed your hands, and the final set grabbed your ankles.

In a swift movement he had you on your back on the floor, legs and arms spread out as he crawled over you, his eyes looking down at your form in your pajamas.

"Smell good." He groaned as he leaned down closer, his mouth just inches away from your neck. You felt a bit of lukewarm spit fall onto your skin, making you twitch and squirm.

"Smell so good." Peter said as he nuzzled your neck and began to inhale your scent.

"P-peter…" You breathed his name when his hands fumbled with your shirt and he brought two hands to your breasts and pawed at them.

"Soft." He said as his tongue came out to lick along your neck, his fangs grazing you gently.

"Warm. Very warm." He growled into your ear. You shuddered as he lifted your hips to his and he ground into you, soaking your panties and sweatpants through.

"Want taste. Taste good." Peter cooed while he started tearing your shirt and pants off of your body with ease. You shook in the cold night air as he stripped you bare and looked down at his handiwork.

"Pretty." Peter hummed gently, his mouth going to cover the juncture of your shoulder and neck. You could feel his fangs sink into your flesh painlessly, and as they went in, you could feel him secreting something into your bloodstream as well.

Oh fuck. This was how you were gonna die. Being eaten by your dad's friend, now turned into a man spider beast.

But why was it so hot? Why weren't you feeling any pain? You could still move and breathe, well as much as he would allow since he had a hold of your limbs and body. You could wiggle your fingers and toes, and move your head around freely. The more you moved, the more you felt a fire in your belly, and hot tingly feeling all over.

It went straight down to your core and made you ache painfully. You found yourself bucking up against him and whining as he pulled and tugged on your nipples with his fingers.

"Pete… Peter… Oh fuck… That feels so good…" You moaned to him and he answered you by growling deeper and letting go of your chest, his hands going down to waist and fumbling with his pants. He quickly pulled his cock out and you glanced down to see that it was massive and covered in thick veins. The head was engorged, leaking a heavy glob of precome that dripped down onto your mound and dribbled down through your soaking wet lips.

"Want more. Pretty hole. Dripping. Feel good." Peter's gravelly voice rattled you to your core and made the ache stronger and your pussy gush and clench around nothing. He chittered and gripped himself tightly, giving himself a good stroke and pushing another glob of precome out over your clit. His other hand came up, using his fingers to spread your lips and his thumb to rub his slick all over your sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Ah-ahhh!" You panted as he trilled and rubbed the head of his cock against your opening. It made you squirm and look at him, seeing that he had four of his eyes trained on your face.

"Want to fuck..?" He groaned, almost like he was now just trying to ask if this was okay.

"Please, Peter… Please… Fuck me… Put you cock inside me and fuck me, please?" You whined and begged him, and he growled and wasted no time. He pushed himself inside easily with all of the slickness you both had provided, but he was still massive and stretched you to your limit. You normally would have been in pain and fighting back, but whatever he injected you with had made it so easy to take him without hurting you.

And you wanted more.

"Good. Feels… S'goood." Peter moaned and stilled when he could go no further. You could feel his heavy balls resting on your ass, his cock pulsing rapidly.

"So tight…. So good… So wet…" He huffed as his hips began to move. He moved you around to press himself as deep as he could get, which involved hoisting you up into his lap as he cast a few webs up at the ceiling. He hung himself upside down so you were right side up, using gravity to his advantage.

In your haze of feeling exceptionally full, you felt him chitter to you as he held you tightly against him.

"Mine now. Mine. Please you good. Stay here." He hummed as started to buck into you.

"Harder…" You whimpered with each gentle thrust and begged him to go harder. He was happy to oblige you and he went hard and deep, using his many limbs to pull and tug your body in a way that he hit your gspot and ground himself against your clit with each thrust.

"So good… Warm, tight…" Peter pressed your body flush against his as he kissed you. It felt strange, but nice, feeling the way his tongue slithered around and how his lips melded with yours so easily.

You could feel his cock pulse harshly as he howled and let go of your mouth to bite down on your neck again. He felt you come undone as he pistoned into you and pumped you with more venom as he came inside of you. You felt his hot seed fill you up and leak out, but he didn't seem to be finished yet.

You could feel his cock swelling as he fucked you and kept filling you up with his come. You whined as he let your arms go to wrap his around your body as he snarled and kept going. All you could do was cling to him, one hand digging into his back, the other fisting his hair tightly as he pounded hard into you.

He spent a good thirty minutes like that in a relentless assault on your body. You were delirious the entire time, gasping, moaning, screaming for him to give you more. When he was finally finished with you, he didn't pull out. Instead, he wrapped you close to his body with his webbing, keeping himself firmly planted inside of you as he made sure you were comfortable.

You were so tired and whatever venom he put into you left you sleepy and unwilling to move. He made a pleased purring noise as he crawled along the ceiling down the hallway to your room. With barely a noise, he made a nest at the top of your four poster bed and cradled you in his arms for a long while.

***

You woke up suddenly, feeling confused and very sore. Your head was on something hard and fleshy, and you could hear a steady heartbeat and breathing. You lifted your head and went to move, only to find that you couldn't.

Not only were you bound to whoever was underneath you, they also had their painfully large and hard cock buried inside of you. You whimpered as you tried to tug on the webs, finding them not cooperating at all and they were just sticking to your fingers. You looked down and saw the man responsible for your current predicament.

Peter Parker, the Spider-Man turned Man-Spider. He was snoring peacefully, a fine line of drool on his chin with messy and tussled hair. With his eyes closed, his face looked peaceful and almost completely human, but you knew better. His six arms definitely were a dead give away, two of which were firmly wrapped around you.

You suddenly heard a thud outside of your door and you panicked, thinking your father had come home earlier than expected. You struggled for a moment, getting frustrated with how Peter seemingly stayed out cold while you freaked out.

How would you explain this to Stephen?

Oh hey, dad… So uh, your friend that you thought had died, he, well, just showed up last night looking for you, and um… We banged and he now has me hostage in my own room with his dick. While hanging in a webby nest above my bed.

Yeah, no. That wasn't gonna fly with him, and you knew it. You quickly leaned over Peter and grabbed his face.

"Wake up!" You tried unsuccessfully to wake him, but the jostling around seemed to be working. You moved your hips, gasping when his cock twitched and plumped up even more.

"Peter, please. Please wake up. I think my dad's outside the door!" You hissed as you slapped him awake. He sat up, confused and growling for a moment, until he saw it was you.

"Whaaat?"

"My dad. He's come home." You said again. Peter's face twisted into a look of worry and he looked down to see why you were panicking.

"Shit. Sorry." He apologized and cut the webbing that was holding you to him. You managed to get off of him, with a whole bunch of come rushing down your legs and to the bed below. He quickly twisted and allowed you down to the bed, and you plopped yourself down, already going to make the necessary hand motions to clean yourself and the room up. Peter sat perched on the edge of your bed, naked and curious as you frantically summoned your robes and sorcerer attire.

You heard a knock at the door, and you quickly went to it to stop it from opening.

"Are you alright, my dear?" Came your dad's voice as you slammed the door shut on him, just narrowly missing his fingers.

"Yeah. Sorry. Everything's alright. I'm naked. Don't come in." You stammered quickly as you locked the door. You heard him huff and back up.

"My apologies. I was just worried is all. You're normally awake and about before I am."

"I, uh, was up late last night watching that movie I got. I slept in, because of it." You said as you looked around for Peter's clothes.

"Really? It's noon. That's not like you at all."

"I'm fine, dad. Really."

"Well I need to discuss something with you."

"Yeah, sure, whatever ya want. Just give me a minute." You said as you went over to Peter and pointed at the bed.

"You stay here. Please don't go anywhere until I get back. Understand?" You asked him and he nodded as he crawled under your blankets and huddled there.

You turned to the door and almost thought about opening it, but instead you decided to use your Sling ring and you appeared behind your father. He whirled around and gave you a hard stare.

"Why didn't you use the door?"

"I, uh, it's a mess in there. Underwear and lady stuff strewn about. I was reorganizing my room-" You suddenly stopped talking when you noticed your father was holding up Peter's suit in one hand, and a ball of your shredded clothes covered in webs in the other.

"Uh, huh… Really, now?" Stephen asked slowly, one brow raised as you tried to outright lie to him.

"Um… I can explain."

"I think you'd better. Why was Peter's Spider-Man suit hanging on the chandelier, and your ripped and torn pajamas strewn about the sitting room meant for my guests? The room is covered in webbing, and there's a trail straight to your room." His tone was firm, but also full of concern.

You could tell he was worried for your safety, given that the last time had seen Peter was when the man had two arms on his suit and not six. You knew you'd have to come clean right then and there. Your dad has his ways of finding things out if you refused to talk.

"Well, I, uh… Peter came by looking for you last night… And…" You chewed on your lower lip and heard some scuttling inside your bedroom, and then the unmistakable sound of the toilet flushing.

"He's in your room, isn't he?" He softly asked and you looked down at your boots.

"Yes."

"Did he force you to do anything you didn't want to do?"

"No."

"Okay… Did he hurt you? Your neck is red, but your robes are hiding the rest of it." He asked as his hand came up to turn your head away so he could get a better look.

"He, um, bit me. But I'm fine. I feel fine. It's just tender there." You sheepishly said. He hummed and let go of you.

"I'll need to run some tests on you today. For now, go collect Peter, get him dressed, and coax him out for some food. I'm sure he's hungry." Your dad said and he handed you the items.

"I fixed your pajamas, by the way." He added and he turned away

"Okay… Thanks, dad."

"Oh, and sweetheart?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"I hope you used a protection spell." He said, then he left down the hallway.

You had not used any protection spells, and you felt yourself worry as you went back into your room.

Peter was sitting on the bed, looking out the window.

"He knows. He pissed." Peter muttered. You went over and smoothed your hands up his back. He chittered and leaned back as you ran your nails through his hair.

"He knows. He's not pissed. He wants you to come downstairs to have breakfast with us. Please?" You whispered into his ear and kissed his cheek. He sighed happily.

"Not scared?"

"Of you? No. I'm not scared of you at all."

"Did bad last night. I'm sorry."

"No, Peter… You did good. Very good. I was very pleased with your performance."

"I stay? With you?" He turned towards you, his eyes hopeful.

"I'll ask my dad, but we both know he will say yes. He misses you, you know." You assured him as Peter pulled you into his lap.

"Thank you. I need… Help."

"We will figure this out, Peter. My dad's the best wizard in all the land. If we can't fix it, that's okay. You can stay with us as long as you need to."

"Never want to go. Stay here. With you." He buried his face into your neck and inhaled softly.

"Okay. Can we get you dressed?" You asked and he nodded.

"Do you want me to conjure up some proper fitting clothes? Or do you want your Spider-Man suit?"

"Clothes. Please. Sweat pants. Tee-shirt." He requested and you smiled. You were about to summon some clothing, when he bit into your neck and pumped you full of his venom again. You gasped and he pushed you back onto the bed.

"Peter… What are you doing?" You whispered as you began to heat up and ache for him.

"One more taste…" He rumbled as his hands made quick work of your robes and skirts.

"Peter, if you fuck me again, I won't be able to walk! Dad's waiting and- Ooohhh…" You tried to reason with him, but he had buried his face into your mound quicker than you could stop him. You felt him spread your legs wide and holding them down with one set of arms, while another spread your lower lips out.

"Just a taste." He growled, and his last set of hands came up to your lower abdomen and he pushed down. You gasped as you felt his come from the previous night leaking out of you. He purred in delight and started to lick at your folds vigorously.

He was quite good with his tongue as he pushed it inside and swirled it around. You whimpered and squirmed, hands diving into his hair as he groaned in pleasure, savouring the noises you made.

He latched onto your clit, and when you looked down, you saw him move one of his hands downwards towards your dripping pussy. He stuck a couple of fingers in and worked them against your gspot in the hopes that you'd come for him again.

"Peter, fuck, oh gods…" You panted and bucked into his face, with him slurping and drooling all over your pussy. He groaned and shifted, bringing another hand down to toy with your ass. You could feel him grab and squeeze your flesh as he dipped a thumb between your cheeks and pressed against your backdoor.

You whimpered as he moved his thumb and collected some of his spit, come, and your fluids, then he slowly prodded inside, getting his thumb in right to the second knuckle. You moaned and tugged on his hair, feeling an orgasm quickly approaching.

"P-peter… I… I'm…" You breathed, and he started to suck harder as his tongue rolled all over your clit. You felt thr pads of his fingers pressed hard against your gspot, and you came so hard that you squirted.

Peter snarled and hungrily lapped up your juices as he kept his fingers working. You were shaking badly as he coaxed two more out of you, before letting you go to rest for a moment.

"Taste so good." He grunted while licking his fingers. He had one of his hands fisted around his cock, tugging it lightly. You stared at him while you twitched and tried to catch your breath.

"Peter…" His name came out as a silent plea, and he grinned at you wickedly.

"More. Need to feel you." He husked as he crawled back over top of you. He lifted your hips and wedged himself between your legs, his cock nudging at your entrance. You sighed as he pushed in and slid all the way back.

This time he was rough right off the bat. He held you down and fucked into hard and fast, shaking the bed and slapping the headboard against the wall. He snarled as you started screaming, and he jammed his fingers into your mouth to quiet you. You almost gagged, but managed to hold on as he dug himself in deep and kept going at that furious pace. You heard one of the legs of your bed snap, and Peter paid no attention to it. He merely went harder, feeling you shake underneath him as you came again.

"Good girl. Good f'me. Mine." Peter grunted as he reared back and propped himself up with two hands, while the other four held you close. You were seeing stars and your body was crackling with pleasure as your pussy squelched obscenely with how fast and hard he was fucking you. You were sure your bed sheets were ruined, not that you cared much. A simple spell could fix it later.

"Say it." He growled and you barely understood what he was asking.

"Say you're mine." He tried again, this time his hand coming to cup your face. You moaned, eyes watering as another orgasm ripped through you.

"I'm yours, Peter. Yours…" You sobbed against his shoulder as he growled and bit into your neck again. You convulsed and felt him come hard, painting your insides with his thick fluids.

"Good. Yours. Yours now." He huffed and rolled over with you onto your side. He breathed softly and brushed the hair from your face.

"Are you telling me that you're mine, now?" You quietly asked. Peter nodded and cuddled closer.

"Yes. Yours. Keep you safe. Keep me safe." He sighed and you smiled gently.

"I'd like that very much." You said and kissed his cheek. He purred and trilled for you as he nuzzled your neck.

"Can we please go down and see my dad now? He's been waiting for thirty minutes." You softly asked. Peter suddenly blushed and hid his face.

"Embarrassed. Doc won't be happy."

"Hush, now. He knows what's happening. If he thought you'd hurt me, he wouldn't have gone downstairs and left you with me. It is time to get your dick out of me, okay? You want more sex, you'll have to wait until after we eat." You patted his shoulder and he whined in protest, but slowly let go of you and pulled away. You felt him slip from your cunt, his come leaving a huge mess and a dull ache between your legs.

"Okay. Hungry for food now." Peter said with much enthusiasm as he gathered your clothes and brought them to you.

"Thank you. Try to behave at the dining table." You said and used your magic to clean and dress the both of you. You tried to get up and move, but found your legs refused to cooperate. Peter made a small concerned sounding noise and he came over to lift you up into his arms.

"Oh, thank you… I don't have a cool cloak like my dad."

"Don't need one. Got me." He murmured as he took you out of the room and made his way down the hall. You sighed, enjoying the way he carried you with very little effort. You didn't bother to get out of his arms when he stepped into the kitchen and nervously looked at your father.

"Took you two long enough to get down here. You're lucky I can control time, and kept the food hot. Now put my daughter down, Peter, and take a seat. Sweetheart, you might have to help him." Stephen said as he started to fill his plate. He said nothing about the bruises and the hickies to either of you. Peter ate his food in silence and when he was done he looked at Stephen, opening his mouth to speak.

"Don't bother, Peter. I'm not mad. All that I ask is you behave, if you know what I mean."

"What does that mean, dad?"

"It means he better not hurt you, kill you, or break your heart."

"So that means he can stay and we can try to help him?"

"Of course. We can make things easier for him and get his speech patterns back, but I don't think I can permanently reverse his new form without more research. I'll have a chat with Reed, Tony, and Hank, see what we can get going."

"Oh, I almost forgot. Peter says it was Harry Osborn that did this to him." You added quietly.

Your father saw red and he smashed his fist on the table.

"That little fuck is gonna pay."

***

Note:

That's it. That's what I wrote today. Fucked up and horny shit. I was high on edibles. Blame the weed. Enjoy.

***

Credits:

No one proofread this for me. I banged this out in one day.

Original post that caused this fic to happen. @refairy

I know they wanted to write this, but this hit me so damned hard and I needed to write my own. I hope you like it.

***

Tags:

@snippychicke @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @queenotaku23 @clairewinchester14 @promiscuoussatan @mona-has-friends @lazyotakujen @timeless-crow @crazylittlereader2474 @bibibeu @novagonz3elz7799 @theaussiedragon @mystinky-butt @autismsupermusicalassassin @readingfan @missdragon-1 @marvelescvpe @lunar-ghoulie @cicithemess2000 @animesnowstorm @mahbeanz @dafuqelaine @bby-lupin @paranoiac-666 @konniebon @cl0v3r-s0up @seraphine-so-pretty @jupitersmoon167 @butterflypillows @ivystoryweaver @mintellaine @bxdbxtxh15 @badbishsblog @cleothegoldfish @xxmadamjinxx @bitchyexpertprincess @sakurayuki8655-blog @jklkverr @jkthinkstoomuch @oscarissac2099 @neteyamsluvts

[chaifootsteps]

You know what? This is for the Stan x Blitzo fans. I want to piss them off. Emberlynn x Blitzo

XxX

Blitzø sighed as he saw that cat nightmare once again yelling at his window at three A.M.

Christ on a stick, did this bitch ever give up?! She had been stalking him for up to a month now and he was at his wits end with this Sinner who couldn't take a hint that he wasn't interested in her. Sure, she was cute in a cat way, he guessed, but her creepy and obsessive personality made her unbearable to be around.

It reminded of a certain horny owl....

No. He's not going there. He's already tried killing her, she keeps coming back, and he's tried hiding. It was time to do what he was afraid to do. Talk to her.

He slunk down his apartment's stairs and came out the back. Emberlynn was belting a love song in his honor while holding a sight that said, I'd die for you again!

Jesus.

"Emberlynn!" Blitzø called out and the girl squealed and tried to hug him as he walked toward her but he sidestepped the bitch before she could touch him.

"Look. Can we sit over there?" Blitzø asked, pointing to a bench. She nodded eagerly, thanking him for finally giving her his attention.

Once they sat down, she tried to kiss him but he pushed her away.

"Look. I'll be fucking blunt," Blitzø began. "I want to ask you a question and I want you to answer honestly. Do you actually like me?"

"Of course I do, Blitzy-kun! You're my soulmate, my dark prince, my—"

"No. I mean really. Do you like me or the idea of me?" Blitzo gestured to his demon attributes, swishing his tail for emphasis. "Would you like me if I wasn't a demon?"

Emberlynn paused as if she was trying to come up with a way to answer but all she could do was stutter. "I—I...uh—"

"Look. Emberlynn, I'm not flattered by any of this. You have to know this. It's creepy and stalkerish, and the fact that I had to kill you a couple times should tell you something."

"....."

"I need you to understand that you need to stop trying to get with me. Stop trying to live out your monster fucker kink. Please." Blitzø looked at her and he saw that she was uncharacteristically quiet. "Emberlynn?"

"Have I really been that bad?" She said softly.

"Yes." Blitzø. He wasn't going to sugarcoat this.

"Oh....." Emberlynn stood up. "I'll...leave you alone now." She walked with her sign and threw it away. She didn't look angry with him but she also didn't look happy.

Blitzø sighed in relief. That went better then he expected.

1 year later.

Blitzø finally felt like his life was doing something good for him. Stolas was out of the picture, apparently letting imps borrow something like the spell book got him cut off from everything that was Goetia. His daughter thrived under her new responsibilities and even had grown closer to her mother. Stolas took what little he had and left for Satan knows where but it was far from him.

Blitzø sighed as he looked through his bills until he came across a letter that was pink. Curiouse, he opened.

Dear Blitzø,

I'm sorry for stalking, harassing, and generally being a terrible person to you. You were right. I only liked you as a fetish. I didn't like you for you. I don't even know you. But, I would like to. You have every right to throw this away and ignore me, but I would love to have coffee this Saturday. If you don't want that, just ignore me and throw it away. This will be the only letter I'm sending anyway. If for some reason you're interested, then you can find me at Starrlucs. On 666 St.

- Emberlynn

Blitzø blinked. Well. That was unexpected. He thought long and hard. Should he go? She sounded sincere. Maybe.

Oh, what the hell. He was in a good mood and he had no other plans Saturday. It might be interesting.

[endwithajadestrick]

Who Is Fucking In Star Wars? A Non-Comprehensive List

So in honor(?) of the DDoS attack on Ao3 preventing us all from mainlining slash fic, I've decided to go horny on main and list off my opinion about 3 traits of all Star Wars characters. Our beloved Galaxy Far Far Away is a usually (tragically) chaste place, which may lead us to ponder about our faves:

Do they even know what sex is?

Have they ever actually HAD sex?

Are they any good at it?

We will not be including characters who are minors in this list. Obviously. Judgements are based somewhat on the lore, but really more on vibes. Perhaps it goes without saying, this will be lightly NSFW.

This is probably gonna take a while and stop feeling like a good idea halfway through. Which of your exes does that describe? Let's Go!!!

Starting with the big three:

Han Solo

Always begin with an easy one.

Does he even know what sex is? Yes, unlike a surprising number of people in this galaxy, Han knows how to do the do.

Has he ever had sex before? Sure (but not as often as he wants you to think). Do you, uh . . . maybe wanna get out of here and come back to his ship? She's called the Millenium Falcon.

Is he good at sex? Look. It's not going to be good the first time. He's gonna keep insisting that he "knows what he's doing," but you wish he would just let you explain what you like. He needs to be girlbossed around a little bit. And it is mostly girls for him, though the occasional guy and non-binary being has mounted that loading ramp too. His bedroom does smell kind of funny.

Luke Skywalker

This one may be controversial for some people.

Does he know what sex is? Nope. Farm boy didn't go to schmool. Skool? Am I saying that right? There were no copies of Our Bodies, Our Selves lying around the rebellion base, and you better believe the Sacred Jedi Texts did not include some kind of version of the Space Kama Sutra. Han wasn't gonna draw him a diagram either; that would be too embarrassing. This man is not learned in the pleasures of the flesh.

Has he ever had sex? Also no. He got into some light over-the-clothes action with Biggs Darklighter when they were teens, but nothing ever went any farther than that.

Is he good at sex? I'm sure a real earnest effort would be made, but we'll never know, will we. Because he DOES NOT KNOW what sex is.

Princess/General Leia Organa

Does she even know what sex is? Oh, absolutely. This woman was treated to an actual formal education. She probably even got a nice, progressive version of SexEd that talked about pleasure and consent and not just all the weird diseases you could get--assuming the Empire didn't nix that sort of thing on Alderaan, which, honestly, they might have.

Has she ever had sex? Of course. And despite being a princess, she's not that precious about courtship either. Casual flings are totally fine and normal.

Is she good at sex? Leia is mature but, like her hairstyles, can be a little tightly wound. Once you get over any initial awkwardness, though, it's sure to be a fun flirty time.

And this is Star Wars, so sooner or later we have to address--

Chewbacca

--the aliens of it all. Welcome, monster fuckers! It's not even weird in this universe!

Does he know what sex is? Chewy is canonically 234 years old as of TLJ, so I'm going to give this a definite yes. Also, he hangs out with Han Solo and all the doors in this universe appear to be panel-controlled. There are no door knobs to stick a sock on; he's SEEN some things.

Has he ever had sex? Again, 234 years old, and Chewy has never seemed like a wallflower. This is also a yes.

Is he good at it? Maz Kanata seems to think so? I don't pretend I have the predilections/imagination to get the appeal (though I honor those that do), but I'm gonna take a swing and say, yes, Chewbacca is a good lover. Solid stamina, surprisingly tender after-care.

Lando Calrissian

Does he know what sex is? Yes, and not just on a mechanical level. If anyone in this universe HAS read the Space Kama Sutra, it's Lando.

Has he ever had sex? He has. And he doesn't keep a list of all his past sexual partners because that would be crass. But he COULD tell you about each of them, names, dates, locations. But he won't. But he could.

Is he good at it? Surprisingly, yes! He may come across as a guy who is all talk, but Lando is an artist at heart and the democratically elected President of Consent. He has mood lighting set up and a tastefully curated playlist. The atmosphere is fun, the oral is enthusiastic. When you're done--wow!--there's a mini bar right near the bed. And would you like to borrow a silk robe?

Your magical evening will not prevent him from cheating you at cards later, though.

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Does he know what sex is? No. He learned once, but has since memory-holed the information. Otherwise he might accidentally experience some pleasure from the stick up his bum.

Has he ever had sex? Many beings have made valiant efforts to claim this beautiful man as a conquest. All have failed, but there was much exquisite yearning along the way.

Is he good at it? Hypothetically? Alas, my heart wants to say yes, but my head says no.

Padmé Amidala

Does she know what sex is? Look at this dress. This dress is a CHOICE, a ruthless tactical decision made by someone who definitely knows what sex is.

Has she ever had sex? Yes, but her taste in men--oh, honey.

Is she good at it? A pillow princess if there ever was one. You will be doing all the work.

Anakin Skywalker

Does he know what sex is? No.

Has he ever had sex? Yes.

Is he good at it? . . . and I know those answers seem contradictory, but it's true. This is a man who has had normal, consensual adult sex. However, baby boy's brain is full of more holes than a colander. He is dummy thick actually in the head region. He is incapable of retaining complex thoughts such as the nuances of sexuality.

That said, he is a creature of pure instinct and, like, yeah, the lovemaking is pretty hot.

Mace Windu

Does he know what sex is? Yes.

Has he ever had sex? No.

Is he good at it? If it ever happened, which it won't? No, and Mace is possibly the only Sammy J character for whom this holds true. It would be strictly procreative missionary. No fun allowed.

Yoda

Does he know what sex is? Yes, he is aware. Knowledge is this little frog man's burden; Yoda is too in touch with the Force, the life energy of the universe, not to know. He WOULD not know if he could, but he has had to settle for just ignoring the information.

Has he ever had sex? You know I am genuinely stumped on this one. On one hand, he is the perfect ascetic Jedi sage. On the other hand, a nine hundred year lifespan is a long time . . . anything could have happened to this lilliputian enigma.

Is he good at it? Size matters not.

The Mandalorian

Yeah I know his name is "Din Djarin." Shush.

Does he know what sex is? I'm pretty sure this guy thinks that babies are found, not made. He does not know what sex is.

Has he ever had sex? I don't care what season one implied about Mando and that toothsome twi'lek, it's never happened. The helmet doesn't come off and the trousers don't drop.

Is he good at it? And here's the tragedy of it all, right? Because we know that underneath that impenetrable layer of beskar lies such a man. I don't even care if he's an ace, as seems plausible. Just the chance to look him in the eye would mean worlds.

Finn

Does he know what sex is? Negative, Ghost Rider. It's not something the First Order teaches their child soldiers, and the Resistance, like the rebellion of old, has bigger fish to fry. Poe wants to explain it to him, but feels like he has a dog in that race and it wouldn't be right.

Has he ever had sex? Men, women, and other beings are lining up around the corner for a shot at this man, but he only has eyes for one woman, and she in turn may be legitimately the only person in the galaxy who does not pine for him. Hang in there, Finn! Maybe one day she'll become emotionally available.

Is he good at it? While we have seen Finn makes some selfish moves along his journey--mainly because of, y'know, all the trauma--he has done a lot of growing and is an essentially generous spirit. This gets a yes.

Rey Skywalker

Does she know what sex is? Not in either The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi, but before Rise of Skywalker Leia explained it to her. She's the future of the Jedi after all, and this is basic stuff, goddammit Luke!

Has she ever had sex? Hmm, what's that? Sorry, she's super busy right now with, like, destiny and stuff.

Is she good at it? Rey seems to pick most things up fairly quickly, so you have to imagine that would hold true for l'amour as well, except that she'll also be a bit of a try-hard. Do less, sweety. Really, it's fine.

Lightning Round

Asajj Ventress

Yes, yes, and it depends on the answer to one question: do you enjoy pain?

L3-37

It Works.

Cinta Kaz

Yes, yes, and not just good but so good it will politically radicalize you.

Karis Nemik

No, which is a shame because you know that he would have made sex-positive feminism and queer theory a huge part of his manifesto.

Count Dooku

Gay, and pulled legendary numbers of exquisite vintage ass across the galaxy. It's the real reason Sidious traded him in for simple, pussy-whipped Anakin. He just couldn't take it anymore.

Luthen Rael

Hope you like role-play.

Armitage Hux

Yes, it's true; this man has no dick.

Qi'ra

Yes, yes, and good but maybe in a dangerous way? Like drugs, it's possible that you--maybe even most people--could have a healthy, well-adjusted relationship to it. But there's a chance also that it will alter your brain chemistry, fundamentally shift your priorities, and ruin your life. The only way for sure to be safe is not to try it, not even once!

The Bendu

The One in the Middle. So in this case, would that be, like, the taint?

Reva Sevander

I mean, do you like it freaky? How freaky do you like it? There are levels to this sort of thing, and you, through no fault of your own, may not be ready for this ride.

Cassian Andor

Cassian Andor fucks.

The Armorer

I tried to get a read on this one, and all I picked up was radio static. We'll never know. We'll just never know.

Rose Tico

Rose appears naive at first, but she's actually quite worldly and will rock yours.

Bo-Katan Kryze

I daresay more than 2% of us want her to sit on our face. Ms. Sackoff was really lowballing it. Bo does not know what sex is, however, and is rarely in listening-mode, so that's a hurdle we'll have to overcome.

But it's more than 2%.

Poe Dameron

Yes, yes, and does it even matter? It would be an honor just to be considered, sir.

Hera Syndulla

Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. Apparently what Lola wants is an inexperienced, sexually repressed Jedi hotty. In this way, she is the true queen of Star Wars fandom. Captain our ship, Hera!

And Finally:

Kylo Ren

I do not understand the hold this man has on some of you--which is fine; you don't need me to understand it. He does not know what sex is, he is so horny and angry all the time. And sure, maybe you CAN fix him by completing his education. Blessings, angels. Live your fantasy.

Just promise me you'll use protection? And I don't mean a condom, I mean body armor.

[monstersmashorpass]

welcome, fellow monster lovers + fuckers~! to the smash or pass blog!

[new poll every 2nd day]

[poll length 1 week]

First things first - this is a queer friendly blog, so no r.adfem b.s. of any kind. don't be assholes, don't be bigots. be a clown (derogatory) and get blocked.

Second, no shit-talking people's monster(s) of choice. We're here for fun, not for negativity. (So no calling basic, shaming choices, saying "oh this non-human isn't enough of a monster", insulting how they look, calling them vanilla, etc etc.)

Third - if your preferred monster looses the poll, that's okay! They're still a winner in your heart. This is literally all just for the lulz. Genuinely, don't worry about it.

Also you're 100% allowed to add propaganda to the posts about why ppl should vote smash. (Not for pass though. Bc that's under the no negativity rule.)

→ UNDER THE CUT ←

➥ How to Submit a Poll Option

➥ Meet the Mods

→ HOW TO SUBMIT A POLL OPTION ←

use the ask box! Preface the ask with [Poll submission] so we know for sure that its one! here's an example of how to submit!

→ if the character / monster is a minor, that's a no-go. Don't be a fuckin creep. Keep kids out of this.

PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLOWING!

→ ONLY ONE CHARACTER PER ASK. PLEASE. We're begging ya :V

→ we will not post monster options such as W*nd*g*s, Sk*nw*lk*ers, and the like, as its a) from closed culture, and b) not the place.

Native peoples have asked many a time for ppl to stop fuckin w their folklore and stories, so give em respect. It's the least that can be done, goddamn. Any bullshit sent about this will be deleted and blocked.

ANYHOO

If you're able to, add a pic of the monster in question! If it's someone's art, please make sure they're okay with it being used first, and provide credit too. We're not reposting willy-nilly around here. We do need artist credit whenever possible! (if the images submitted are official, pls just make a note of it!)

[Poll Submission] Monster name, What theyre from* [Poll Submission] Wulver, scottish folklore [Poll Submission] Abe Sapien, Hellboy (movies or comics) (image from Hellboy comics)

* this is more if its applicable - ie; from specific mythology, or from a media source. If the media is 18+ please make a note of it!

If you submit off-anon, we respond privately with if its queued or if it was already done.

If you submit on anon, the ask is deleted once its queued. (Or if you submit something that we've already done.)

---------------------

→ Meet the Mods ←

We're a couple of chaotic idiots who know each other irl and get up to shenanigans. Like this blog.

Mod Curse 🌸

Mid 20s - she/they - Big Gay

Evil women? Sign me tf up!

Uhh I'm a weird cat mom, artist and general nerd, bonus adhd

Mod Ghoul ☢️

mid/late 20s, he/his it/its

Horrible taste in fictional men lol

A fuckin menace

Three allegations I can never escape - 'oh thats the local cryptid', 'its a creature, your honor', and 'I'm pretty sure you're just a corpse but okay.'

[bluehairlaunch]

7 Underrated Dragon Ball Characters

Honorable mention, Launch. She's one of my favorite Dragon Ball characters, but Toriyama never evolves Launch beyond her gag, and then he forgets all about her. Unlike most USians, I started with OG Dragon Ball, and enjoyed the found family dynamic that Goku developed after Grandpa Gohan (who ironically is his father figure) died. Roshi is like his grandpa, Bulma his big sister, Krillin his best bro, and Launch his mother. She cooks, cares for the boys, and handmakes them their cute little World Tournament suits. It seemed like she was going to be a major supporting character, but instead she circles the drain doing one of three things until she's just finally gone 1) getting molested by Roshi 2) shooting people impervious to bullets 3) crushing on Tien

Launch deserved better

Android 16

The only reason he's not higher on this list is because he's not as underrated as the others. Plenty of people like 16 ofc, he's a good character, but in universe he gets nothing but disrespect. Y'know the guy who saved the world by helping Gohan go beyond Super Saiyan? He's on the same tier as Farmer w/shotgun in terms of getting wished back to life. Yamcha would rather give his girlfriend a nice necklace

Super goes a step further in erasing his existence by giving his character traits to Park Ranger 17. And I'd say this was a nice homage to 16 if Super wasn't Super

World Tournament Announcer

The Nameless Announcer. One of the few normies to know about Dragon Team, he's an in-universe Dragon Ball stan. He's also the first character in this entire franchise to go from mustache-less to mustache

Yajirobe

Yajirobe's honestly so cool. He 1 shot Cymbal, then COOKED AND ATE HIM, which is probably the darkest thing to happen in Dragon Ball and actually makes Buu a Yajirobe clone. He was also the equivalent to Tien and Goku on release, being as strong as they were during the 22nd World Martial Arts Tournament.

Except, unlike Tien and Goku, he's a total slacker and was probably this strong naturally, or at least very close. For context, 21st World Tournament Goku was equivalent to Roshi, who could blow up the moon with ease

Oh and he was instrumental in defeating Geets, that's cute of him too

Dr. Gero

One of my fav villains, this fucker here, he fucks. He created best girl (18) best twink (17, sorry not sorry Future Trunks), two very good boys (8er and 16), the most perfect it/its, 19, who had one of Dragon Ball's best beatdowns, and was plenty compelling and terrifying on his own. How is this absolute fucker not in every Top 10 or at least every Top 20 villain countdowns?

Kami

Surely God will be important?

Yamcha

The world's first meme. He gets twisted as useless by people who think Dragon Ball was ever about anyone but Goku doing anything and dunked on for almost everything he does. Yamcha isn't the kinda guy getting mad about this hate tho, he's actually laughing. He's an easygoing himbo that just wants to chill and exposit, but will absolutely throw down whenever needed.

The most pathetic he EVER got was when he made his hair look like Vegeta's, and you really can't blame a bro for trying

Chi-Chi

The hate this woman gets... it's definitely less than it used to be, but for someone Goku and Gohan very clearly loves, the fanbase despises her. And why? For not wanting her FOUR YEAR OLD to fight planet busting monsters? Yes, I know, the world needs that four year old to fight monsters, but if that were your kid, would you be ok with that? Would you say bye son I love you and remember to hold your intestines in if the alien demon from another world blasts open your stomach?

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

Forsaken

This is for @tolkienpinupcalendar Monster Fucker May

Pairings: Werewolf Thû x Lúthien 

Rating: E

Themes: Smut / NSFT | Dead Dove

Warnings: Major character deaths prior to the beginning of the story | Captivity | Thralldom | Oral sex | Penetrative sex | Monsterfucking | Knotting

Wordcount: 1.7K words

Summary: Lúthien learns of Beren’s fate and decides to make peace with her new lot in life.  

Minors DNI | 18+

Thû finally honored his part of the bargain they struck. He presented Lúthien with what remained of Beren’s bones, his sword and shield, his armor. Lord Mairon had sent the fallen warrior’s remains in a great cedar chest bound in gold. A master’s indulgence, his herald had said, for Thû prevented Lúthien from aiding Beren and seizing a silmaril from Lord Melkor’s crown. It would also serve as a reminder, Lady Thuringwethil had gone on to add, of Lúthien’s new place as Thû’s thrall and bedmate. 

The daughter of Melian refused to believe the word of either at first. She called the chest and the contents it held an act of trickery, a ploy to deceive her. Then Thuringwethil clapped her hands, and her own thrall stepped forth to open the lid. 

“Tis no trick, little halfling,” Thuringwethil bristled, her voice thick with anger. She reached into the chest and lifted a silver ring that was tarnished with old blood. “Here. Observe the ring for yourself.” 

The ring was no ordinary trinket. It was crafted in Valinor, and it once belonged to none other than Prince Findaráto himself. Lúthien fell to her knees even as Lord Mairon’s herald held it up to the lamplight. Two serpents were wrought in silver, their heads meeting beneath a crown of golden flowers in full bloom. One upheld these flowers, while the other devoured them. Their eyes were comprised of emeralds. They seemed to burn like green fire.  

“This was his,” the Maia said. She dropped the ring into Lúthien’s outstretched palm. “I trust you will not call our words trickery now.” 

Overcome with grief, Lúthien clutched the ring to her chest. This was his, she thought. This was the ring of my beloved, and Felagund before him. 

“Beren was the last to perish,” Thû told her after Thuringwethil left in a swirl of rustling silks and leathery wings that dragged behind her like a cape. She retired to the chambers he had set aside for her own particular use, and she gave her word to attend a feast he had arranged in honor of her visit. “And he would not have been the last had Felagund not sacrificed himself to save his life. Take comfort in the knowledge that they are now gone and can suffer no more.” 

Such words offered little peace to Lúthien, for they were the words of her captor. “What will become of me now?” She whispered and reached up to touch her eye, thinking she would find it wet with tears. To her amazement, she found it cold and dry. It was then that she realized that she had already begun to move away from Beren and the memories of all that they shared. 

“Continue to serve me,” Thû said, and he smiled. He rather enjoyed the sight of the halfling princess on her knees before him, her spirit nearly broken. “And make peace with your new lot in life. There is nothing else that you could do. Your beloved is no more. The elven king who foolishly agreed to aid him in his quest is no more. That wretched hound who carried you is no more. You have no friends, no saviors. Your family will not welcome you should you return to them, you who sullied yourself by coupling with one such as me.” 

“That is not true.” 

“Oh? Then, where is your mother? Where is your father? Where are the elves who serve them? By now, word of your capture would have surely reached their ears, so why has no one come to find you and free you, princess?” 

Lúthien lay where she fell on the stone floor, silent and unmoving. Part of her silence was due to her grief. The chief of it, however, lay in the knowledge that her kin, her own flesh and blood, may have truly forsaken her. 

Her father had counseled her against leaving. He could not bear the notion of a most beloved child endangering herself for the sake of a mortal. Her mother counseled against it also, saying such a union was destined to end in doom. There would be no joy to be found, she said, and her sorrow would be hard to bear in the end. Yet Lúthien left anyway, braving strange lands and orcs and dark magic and elven princes under the influence of a dreadful Oath. And it was all for naught. Her defying her mother and father, her endangering her life, and the life of the great hound who dared to defy his own master for her sake, were for naught. Now she was here, doomed to serve her captor for as long as she lived, while the elves of Doriath would continue on regardless of what became of her. 

Perhaps Thû is right. Perhaps I should make peace with my new lot in life, she thought, for my fate is bound to his now.  

“How am I to serve you, my lord?” She finally asked, her decision made. 

Thû bellowed out an order that she did not understand. Sentries standing to attention just outside his bedchamber left their posts and closed thick, iron doors behind them. 

“You know what you must do,” he said.

Lúthien nodded and rose to her feet. She disrobed her master the way she had done the first time they coupled: his leather tunic she removed first, then his belt and his boots, and finally, his breeches. Her own raiment joined his on the floor. Then she turned to look at him. She no longer flushed from cheek to chest when she took in his exposed form, nor did she find it as repulsive as she did in the beginning; she discovered that she had come to find it somewhat appealing instead. Once he was free of his garments, Thû walked over to his bed and made himself comfortable on the edge, his legs spread. Then Lúthien joined him. She knelt before him and gazed up at him from under her thick lashes. Thû found it bewitching to see her like this, though he made no effort to put such a discovery into words. She, despite being a high-born princess, was his thrall, after all, and thralls, in his opinion, did not deserve such the honor of such fine praise.   

“You know what you must do,” Thû repeated, and he closed his eyes. 

The halfling princess was more willing to heed him. And she proved herself to be more willing to please him. She bent down and pressed kisses against the inside of his thigh, going higher and higher, and then, she swallowed his erection to the hilt, putting her hands and her mouth to good use. She tasted the seed already beading at the tip and then ran her tongue along the underside of his length before taking it into the wet heat of her mouth again. Thû moaned softly. He brushed his hand over her dark hair, then gathered it into a fistful to keep it out of the way. 

“This is how you will serve me,” he murmured, his voice already thick and hoarse with lust. He tugged hard on her hair. The sound she made at the back of her throat was muffled, but he heard it all the same. It aroused him to no end. “By submitting to me this way. By continuing to warm my bed and bearing my offspring, should my seed ever quicken in your womb. Do you understand, princess?” 

Lúthien understood well enough. “Yes, my lord,” she replied when she drew away. Then she stood and moved to sit astride him, closing her eyes as she did so. She had no desire to witness the change that took place, but she heard it nonetheless. Bones cracked and reformed. Muscles broadened and hardened. Tufts of coarse, wiry hair rose and brushed against her fingers and the insides of her thighs. Hands that were larger and more powerful than before came to rest over her hips. She whimpered when nails scoured her flesh. 

“Go on,” Thû commanded as one who knew he would be obeyed. 

“Yes, my lord,” Lúthien said, lowering herself onto him. Her master shivered. 

It was quick and brutal after that. Thû lost himself in the warmth of his bedmate’s flesh, the sharp edge of his nails raking down her hips and leaving thin red lines in their wake. Such pain was nigh unbearable to Lúthien once, but now she discovered herself finding slivers of enjoyment in it. She brought her hips down on him, harder and harder and harder, the trill of her voice crying out her pleasure. 

“Yes,” Thû growled approvingly. “A little more. Harder. Harder.” 

It only took another moment before he spilled into her—a hoarse cry tearing free from him—and another before her own release came. Lúthien collapsed against him, gasping, while that rigid part of him swelled and kept him locked within her until he had emptied himself of his seed. Her master’s chest heaved against hers, and his breath was ragged and unsteady. She took a deep breath herself and slowly opened her eyes.

Thû was still in his beastlike form, all coarse hair and unyielding limbs full of hardened sinew. Her hand glided up his arm. She found great strength in that arm, enough to cause her harm should she ever give him a reason to use it against her. 

Perhaps I could learn to enjoy him using his strength in other ways, she told herself.

“When should I come to you again?” She dared not to look at his face. She was not yet ready for such a sight.

“You may stay here,” Thû remarked, triumph surging thick through his veins. Lúthien willingly offered herself to him. It would not be long before she, too, agreed to swear herself to his master. What a victory it would be to see a daughter of Melian aligning herself with his master’s great vision for Arda! “And I will come to you. A thrall will come to wash and dress you for the feast. I will not have it known that those who serve me do not know how to appear at their very best.”

tags: @cilil

[killerandhealerqueen]

iiiiiiiit's your fave, dropping in with a ridiculous number of questions for you to answer! 5, 6, 11, 12, 15, 16, 20

Hello my beloved!

5. What is an image/set of images that you’re particularly proud of?

I'm not really sure what this question is asking...sorry

6. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

Honestly, there's nothing that I haven't thought of that I haven't written. If I think it, I write it. And if something is fighting me, I either put it aside until it works itself out or I scrap it and redo it, like my fic Monster Like Me (I worked on this god damn fic for over almost a month...my one shots have never taken this long before...but it's also one I'm really proud of so I guess all the work I put in paid off)

11. If I’m showing off just one of your pieces to someone, which one should it be?

You better show this fucker off -> 恨君不似江楼月 | Killer and Healer

It's my baby and I love her and I need to get back to working on her because the 3 anniversary is coming up and I need to have the next couple of chapters done!

But honestly, you could should any of my fics off and I would be honored

12. What WIPs do you have going now? Are you excited about them?

Now that I've finished Monster Like Me, I can get back to working on my other wips 恨君不似江楼月 | Killer and Healer (I'm about halfway through ep. 26 of 37), CSI: Jing City (we're on the last case), KeixYaku: Abunai Aibou, Oil and Water (we're on the second to last case), 药剂师日记 | The Apothecary Diaries (and we've got a few more cases to go with this one). I'm excited for all of them! I've also got a few more wips in my folders (Friendline, Junchun Hero x Villain, Vampire Doctor x Boxer (Mignon au), and 2 S.C.I. Hero x Villain aus) but those aren't to be touched until one of the other wips are finished.

15. Does font matter to you when you’re writing a draft?

Nope. I usually use Helvetica for fic and Times New Roman for headcanons. I'm also slowly learning that if I have an idea to just start writing it out instead outlining it because outlining it for some reason fucks with my head and the flow (which was the problem with Monster Like Me)

16. 3 favorite comments ever received on fanfic.

From @clawbehavior on my fic The City of Angels & Demons

She's not even in the fandom but I love receiving comments from her

From @evil-moonlight on my fic Our Dining Table

I love receiving literal book report comments, you don't even understand

From hellenatz on my fic 恨君不似江楼月 | Killer and Healer

I love getting comments from people who are new to Killer and Healer and who find my fic/fics and comment. Warms my fucking heart man

20. Go nuts, and talk about writing

I'mma be honest, I'm real tired after spending a few hours with my best friend eating sushi, talking, walking around/window shopping, and getting sea salt matcha lattes so my brain can't really like...talk about writing but like...I love writing and my writing friends and I love talking to y'all and hearing the shit that y'all are working on and just...yeah. I love being friends with other writers. Sorry if you wanted to hear about my fics but my brain is like nah

Fic writing questions! | send me asks

[thevoidstaredback]

Tonight's movie is gonna be Venom.

Mostly because I found something out about Eddie that I can guarantee I could've lived without, but what's done is done.

....I'm never gonna be able to watch any movie with Venom in it the same....

Apparently, Eddie is aroused by Venom.

I could've lived without that knowledge (I've never read the comics)

You all probably could've lived without that knowledge

Anyway, I'll be back to share my thoughts on the movie once I get it up and playing after dinner.

Space. The final frontier. These are the-

Wrong movie.

Spaceship crashed in East Malaysia.

At least it wasn't New York

Let's go inside it!

Venom's so dramatic! I love him.

He's like s husky.

The movie score only adds to this point.

Eddie's a mood.

"Meeting? Oh, shot, yeah. My meeting."

Eddie and Peter would get on like a house on fucking Fire.

Eddie would hate Tony, no matter the fact that he no longer makes weapons.

Oooooo! He snoopin'!

Kitty!🖤🖤

He snoopin'!

Eddie's gone off script. He's revealed info he's not supposed to be privy to.

Oops

There goes his job.

There goes his girl

Poor Annie.

Poor Eddie.

Subtle, Venom. Very subtle.

Eddie's sloched.

Homeless lady is absolutely awesome. What a deal she ran.

The store clerk is also a queen. She doesn't deserve the gun to the face.

Eddie's a good guy.

Poor Eddie. Can't even hear his own scream of frustration at his shitty neighbor.

Also, Drake is giving Supervillain vibes.

"No need to be frightened," my ass.

Starting human trials the minute a single animal trial is successful.

And now he's twisting the Christian Bible to suit his needs. Just like Christans

Poor Issac was not prepared to be possessed by a symbiote.

Ope, now he's dead.

Doris! She's cool.

Eddie won't even give her the time of day.

It's kinda funny. If we ignore the context of why she's approached Eddie.

I love Eddie.

Doris is having none of his shit.

It's funny.

Maria!🙀🙀😿

Hi Venom.

Eddie is suddenly a lot stronger than he remembers and is very confused.

He's also very thirsty and very hungry.

I wonder how much fun Tom Hardy had with this role.

Venom: "Eddie."

Eddie: "Wtf?!!"

Basically their first meeting: Venom: Oogily Boogily Bitch!!

I mistook the other symbiote as Venom. Forgive me. Either way, I maintain that Venom is a dramatic bitch.

Poor Eddie did not sign up for this.

Dan is chill.

Poor Venom does not like the MRI.

Poor Eddie.

I love Venom. He's a little murder puppy.

Don't do it, Doris! Don't trust him!

Damn it.

I told ya not to.

I know Eddie's from NYC, living in LA, but he's such a Midwesterner

Is being restrained to a wall, I foot in the air: "You have a brain tumor, Eddie."

I love him so much.

I also love his bike.

Look at Venom keeping Eddie alive!

Venom!!! Look who's come out to play!

Venom has no lips. Hos smile is literally all teeth

Also, him threatening Eddie to cooperate or die as if they don't become best friends (friends with benefits in the comics.....kinda) is based.

I'm literally Eddie, dude!! 🤣🤣

"Jump." doesn't jump. "Pussy."

Also, Eddie and Venom working in tandem after only knowing each other for two hours at most is amazing. I wish I had a friend like that.

DC reference!!

Venom is an anti hero.

I'm sending a pattern with some of my favorite characters. Deadpool, Red Hood, Venom.... they're all anti heros.

I love Venom and Eddie. They're besties already.

Drake just got a symbiote.

Venom doesn't like Dan. He likes Anne, though.

"What happened to 'we'?" "We're done."

Eddie, you sound like you just broke up with him.

Venom, do nOT-! And he's possessed the dog.

Smh.

Comic Book Eddie is a monster fucker!!🤣🤣

Drake, stfu.

Your symbiote said "I" before you corrected him to "We". You are expendable to him, Drake.

Anne as Venom!!

Venom made Anne and Eddie kiss!

.........I can see how similar comic and movie Eddie are.........whether on purpose or on accident.

"What made you change your mind?"

"You did, Eddie."

They are in love, your honor!

Or they could just be besties to the end. Either way, they have a great relationship and I love them.

Eddie!🙀

Venom, hurry and save him!!

Yay!!!!

I think he's angy...

You can't just save the world and peace out like that, Venom!! That's not how that works.

I can't wait for Along Came A Spider to come out.

Venom's playing wingman for Eddie. He's failing, but he's trying and it's based.

Stan Lee Cameo!!!

Eddie setting ground rules?

Venom following them?

Eddie allowing Venom to eat bad people?

Amazing.

"Bad guy?"

"Yep."

Venom threatening Bad Guy™ by calling him a turd and then eating him is so funny.

"We are Venom."

I love it.

[amarcttos]

⧼ laura harrier, non-binary, she / they / arabella by the arctic monkeys + you have your mother's piercing eyes and her quick temper, her soft hands and unyielding heart. ever since you could remember her words 'don't you ever show them weakness' resonate within you. you repeat it like a mantra. hold onto it like a lifeline, until it becomes second nature. you're proud of never faltering, wearing those high walls you built around yourself like a badge of honor. it's quite easy, you think. you are your mother's daughter after all; your father gave you his charisma, that charming smile, the confidence and above all the bloodlust. you know how to use it well. whispered sweet nothings upon eager ears at the end of the night become crimson warmth against your lips. you love the push and pull, the thrill of it all. it's only fair, you say. you are your father's daughter after all; woman, daughter, creature… it's all just you, you, you. beautiful, charming, caring… all you. cunning, vindictive and closed off but still just you. your life is not short but you know there's still no reason to waste your time being something you're not. you live your life by your own terms, no ifs of buts. it's only logical, you exclaim. you're irrevocably you, after all. ⧽ ━━ hey, isn’t that AMARA ROSIER? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the THIRTY year old half blood WITCH / DHAMPIR is a BEAUXBATONS alumnus who has gone on to be the OWNER OF THE SIMMER & SHIMMER APOTHECARY. i’ve heard they can be quite RESILIENT & INDEPENDENT, but i don’t know… they came off very STUBBORN & VINDICTIVE in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it?

born in italy to two very incredibly caring parents that even though weren't expecting or planning to have a child ( too busy loving each other ) still spoiled and loved her deeply. they weren't very strict which meant amara had quite a bit of freedom to do whatever he pleased and that trait just... remained, really. even now as an adult she just does as she wants.

very very independent, firm believer in 'if you want something done well you have to do it yourself' thing. it's very hard for her to trust in someone else's judgement / decisions... which kinda falls back into the whole 'likes things done her way' thing, so she's also very stubborn.

her parents and her have all been shunned from the rosier fam, burned off the family tree and all... even from pureblood society. ( her mom for ... essentially being a monster fucker, her dad the monster and her the mini monster so ... u know ! fun things ! ) she's very bitter about it, actually. not necessarily because she cares about it / the rosiers / or anything ... just the fact that they would dare talk shit about her parents infuriates her greatly !!

has a very ... complicated relationship with the blood supremacy belief, to be honest. it's been systematically taught through generations, that even her dad being a vampire and all somehow believes it; her mom as well a little, amara knows it's bullshit and the very reason why they've been cast aside ... but she also grew up with those beliefs so it's still quite difficult to unlearn. so, despite trying, she might slip a little; be a little insensitive. that being said i don't think she thinks she's better than anyone because of you know, last name / magic or anything like that; but she might think she's better than someone just because That Bitch™️ !!

she has a bit of a mean girl mentality i'm not gonna lie. though i don't think they're like ... out there making it their life mission to make people miserable. she might have been like that when she was in school but she's definitely mellowed out a lot. she's kind and friendly and tries to give other people a chance, but as soon as she feels wronged somehow that flip just switches. in beauxbatons she was definitely the kind of person to just ... hex someone if they looked at her the wrong way or talked shit behind her back. nowadays she might forgive ! might not forget though ...

she's very loyal to those she holds dear / has allowed to get close, will go through the ends of the earth for anyone she loves. at the moment i don't think the list of people in the 'ones i would die for' list is very long tbh but ... it might change !!

that loyalty is also one of the reasons why she joined the death eaters. she doesn't really hold the beliefs they have, at least not so fervently as mentioned before, but they're also the only ones even mentioning anything involving "magical creatures" in what they do ( though if they 100% believe that they're actually gonna do anything is also debatable ) so ... the bad guys don't look so bad when you / your family are included !! if that makes any sense.

alignment wise i would say they're more chaotic neutral, they're definitely not above doing questionable things if it means her survival / freedom and the one of those she loves.

that's pretty much her whole Thing: survival, freedom, fun ! that's all she wants out of life ! good / evil comes second to that.

Did Not fight in the battle of hogwarts at all, was probably too busy having fun on some other side of europe, making out and making memories as she should.

has her own little, very nicely decorated apothecary ( thank u kaela ) called simmer & shimmer ! sells all kinds of potions and potion making ingredients, even the more difficult or morally dubious to find ! located in knockturn alley. basically mr mulpepper's much younger and hotter rival, if u will. it IS a legitimate business, though it also functions as a bit of a cover for any... may or may not be cursed objects, you know? not because she actually needs or even wants the money. her father gets them / brags about them for a while / gets bored of them and then she conveniently sells them at a very good price, so ! it's a win - win situation for all !

i dunno what else... so this is all for now !! ♡

[ebbing-terror]

What is it that Lynn sees in Mahito? Specifically from her end, what's inside of her that feels a connection or seeks one with him?

"I mean, have you SEEN him~?"

▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎

Well, deeply concerning and questionable attraction aside, there's alot of things that drew Lynn to Mahito. Funny enough, one of those attributes is his honesty.

Mahito tells things how they are, always so matter of fact and that really helped Lynn to accept alot of things in both herself and others allowing her to live freely. Which brings about the next point-

She feels so liberated being around him. She can tell Mahito things she doesn't feel like she could with anyone else, she doesn't have to worry about bothering or burdening him, she can just be herself, as loud, silly, unfiltered (and sometimes cruel) as she is. Mahito is the only person who gets to see Lynn at her purest, she doesn't have to hide anything from him and that instantly puts their bond above those Lynn has with others. (He's also the only person who she can share her curse experiences with, at least in the Main Timeline where Junpei is dead and Mahito helps to fill a void where her friend once was)

Also, Lynn doesn't have to be afraid anymore with him around. Mahito protects her from people and curses (and herself) granting Lynn a sense of near- invincibility.

Lynn is enchanted by Mahito, he's so strange and she wants to learn all about him and the world of curses. She's enamored by his freakish and monstrous ways. Quite frankly, your honor- Lynn is a monster fucker. She has problems and pretty stitch curse makes her happy. She loves him lots. uwu

[alt-zombee]

Yo, yo, fuck 2DopeBoyz and fuck Nah Right And any other fuck-nigga-ass blog that can't put an 18-year-old nigga Makin' his own fuckin' beats, covers, videos and all that shit Fuck you post-Drake-ass cliche-jerkin', LA-slauson rappin' Fuck-nigga-ass Hypebeast niggas Now back to the album

Well, Tyler, hi, I'm Dr. TC, and um, I'm guessin' That your teacher sent you here to talk 'cause you were misbehavin' Um, it's gonna be three sessions, today, tomorrow, Wednesday So, just tell me somethin' about yourself Well look, if you don't talk, I mean these sessions are goin' to go slower

This is what the devil plays before he goes to sleep Some food for thought some food for death, go ahead and fuckin' eat My father's dead, well I don't know, we'll never fuckin' meet I cut my wrist and play piano 'cause I'm so depressed Somebody call the pastor, this bastard is so possessed This meetin' just begun, nigga, I'm Satan's son

My mother raised me, a single parent, so it's apparent That I got love for my mother, none of you other fuckers Are much important, I'm gettin' angrier while recordin' I'm feelin' like the bulls, I've got a gang of wolves Odd Future is children that's fucked up on they mental Simple, but probably not, fuck 'em

I'm tall, dark, skinny, my ears are big as fuck Drunk white girls, the only way I'll get my dick sucked Suspended from school, coolest nigga without effort Easy to spot like black bitches with fake leopard Soak me up in a tampon, but keep the lamp on 'Cause this album pack enough evil That you can't fit inside a Jansport Go to school with this

I go from AP to JC inside a fuckin' week Wakin' up with random girls like, "Yo, bitch, how the fuck we meet?" I stay with grandma, she always bitchin' about her carpet Every time I walk inside the house, she always tend to start shit No to drugs, I never spark it, I used to be bullied for honor classes By those that were slow as molasses Take this shit to school

Raquel treat me like my father, like a fuckin' stranger She still don't know I made Sarah to strangle her Not put her in danger and chop her up in the back of a Wrangler All because she said no to homecomin', demons runnin' Inside my head tellin' me evil thoughts I'm the dream catcher, but nothin' but nightmares are caught Go to sleep

I wear green hats because I'm fortunately lucky "Fuck me, " the monster said, somehow the monster's dead Inside of me, but the thoughts it tells me are still evil With this state of mind, big moves, Max Keeble I'm on my grind feeble, my music is either A fucking sin or too illegal, play this shit in church

I graduated without honors or fuckin' father He died (I'm so sorry), no bitch, don't even fuckin' bother I wanted a brother, my mother I told her But instead I got a sister, just like me with her mister nada So both of our imaginations are creations of the fuckin' situation That's having our brains racing like Dayton Wearin' some fuckin' Heelys

I know you fuckin' feel me, I want to fuckin' kill me The times I'm so serious, yes, you think I'm silly I'm doin' Big Style Willy couldn't touch 11 Seven, what's religion, nigga? I am legend I roll with skaters and musicians with an intuition I created O.F. 'cause I feel we're more talented Than 40-year-old rappers talkin' about Gucci When they have kids they haven't seen in years, impressin' their peers

With the same problem, the only way to solve them Is to go to Father's Day convention with a gold revolver Life's a salad, I'ma toss it, eat that shit up, Rick Ross it Shit it out, bag it up, sell it, I'm so damn rebellious 'Cause my mother let me do what I want She wasn't careless, protective she is the bear The shit is so bare, my diary isn't hid My father didn't give a fuck, so it's somethin' I inherit

My mom is all I have so it's never meet the parents When Danielle or Milan decide to fucking share This confused boy, I wanna hug, oy I'm bad for you kids to listen to, soy is not the choice I'm bad milk, drink it

Whoa, um, it seems you had a lot to say Uh, who knows, I might feel as I'm evaluatin'

My wrist is all red from the cutter Drippin' cold blood like the winter, the summer Is never that's equivalent to me and Sarah Well, that's not her fuckin' name, but I think this shit is clever My niggas wanna know if I'm fuckin', if I'm kissin' But I'm sittin' here downin' beers simply just wishin' With a tear they try to tell me, but I never listen 'Cause I don't give a shit like sittin' down pissin'

18, still talkin' to imaginaries Hopefully they see the talent I carry just like Jimmy Losers can never win me, you can never offend me My goal in life is a Grammy, hopefully mom'll attend the Ceremony with all my homies, I'm suicidal This my Zombie Circus, I hope the majors heard this Fuck a deal, I just want my father's email So I can tell him how much I fuckin' hate him in detail

Wow, um So, Tyler, if-, if you had the chance to tell him somethin' What would you tell him?

[sadmanyeyes]

Chapter 131:

So Three-Eyed-Pai is fucking the Quan up.

But uh-oh! The talismans covering it are nullifying her powers!

But fuck her, Yakumo is still fighting Huang and her mouth beam. Now one of his legs are petrified and Huang threatens to do the same to the rest of him. He asks (re: yells) who she is and she says it doesn't matter since he's going to die anyway. He says he trusted her and he's not giving up now, demanding to know why she's doing this. She tells him that he's naive; it doesn't matter if he trusts her anymore or not but he's been her target from the start. You see, Huang is not a human being but a Yao Gui, creatures believed to be responsible for real-life diseases. Her race is despised by both humans and the monsters so they've been imprisoned and robbed of their abilities. So how do you survive with that kind of weight on your back? You need power, and lots of it! Coincidentally, the kind a Wu has. When she becomes a Wu, she'll get to show those fuckers who made her feel worthless her entire life while justifying her own existence at the same time. So loyalty, honor...she doesn't care about any of that. She just wants absolute power and nothing more.

Then Kinkara (See? I tried!) shows up behind her to say how that some weak shit she's spitting. She asks who he is and he answers that it's a stupid question...while calling her Shunkai. She's shocked but he disappears...and so does Yakumo. She finds him but he sweeps her, calling her out on her whole sigma fantasy. He tells her there are some things you can't get with just power and she tells him that's bullshit. He has her dead to rights with his palm in her face and she tells him to just kill her. But Huang, despite everything she did to him, everything she was going to do to him...is still his precious boss, so he hesitates and earns her mockery. She says that even if he is a Wu, his stone parts won't go back to normal unless she dies...and he gets up and walks away. She's confused but he says she's right: he doesn't care who she really is but he does know she's his family. And he'll never hurt anyone who's his family.

The chapter ends with him rushing back to the basement to go and save Three-Eyed-Pai, who has already been defeated by the Quan.

[luckywolfsbane]

Oooh, are we sending asks now? I want to ask a question!

If your ocs had only one day to live, what would they spend it doing?

Ooooo, okay, this is a tough one. I'll try to be concise. I took this literally. Like if they found out they were dying during the story. I'm making this assuming certain curses are broken, so...

Jack: Frantically plans so no one has to do anything for his funeral, burial, or anything else. This makes it so they can all grieve without making hard choices. This little fucker arranges every last detail of his funeral, including flowers. It's his final act of love, a way to take care of his people one last time. He knows he'll be reborn, so he'd decide to make sure to reincarnate asap. He makes and gives Lyris a charm that'll allow her to find his new incarnation if she wants to, so she can check on his next life or be a friend/mentor to him as he grows up. This way, she can choose what her peace will look like.

Lyris: Laughs at her impending demise because, of course, she'd have to anticipate her death rather than fall in some spontaneous blaze of glory. She's going to try to go out in a big way. She will not go quietly into that good night. She's inacting as much massive, positive change as possible before her heart stops beating. She'll take at least one power-hungry monster with her if she gets her way. If there's no massive memorial statues in her honor after she's gone, then her name will live forever in infamy, and she's good with that.

Alex: Goes fishing. I'm not kidding. He's already made peace with his end by the time he gets the news. He just smiles, passes his bear amulet to one of his best friends, and hops on a fishing boat. He's seen enough terror. His impact on the world will come from those he leaves behind. He's just looking forward to joining his previous party and his family in the underworld.

Thalia: Writes down all her secrets and final wishes/will in a locked journal and leaves instructions to find the key. Her loved ones have to go on a scavenger hunt in order to read any of it. Why not break it open, you ask? Because she embued it with her magic. If they break the lock, the pages sprout and grow, destroying the words. She does this to force her emotionally inept friends to lean on each other and accept her absence in order to honor her properly. She knows for a fact they'll do it; that's just who they are.

Roman: Cries for about an hour, then goes to Jack for help. It doesn't matter if they're in good terms, he knows he can go to him. With his help, Roman returns to his hometown to visit his mother and only remaining sister so he can be with them in his final hours. He also wants to be buried in his family's cemetery alongside his siblings and cousins. He hands Jack his personal manifesto after a full day with his last two loved ones, entrusting all his goals and final will to Jack.

Jason: Goes through the stages of grief in near perfect order in only a couple hours. He does so much in his last day, but he doesn't feel it's enough at any point. He already lost so much time, having been asleep for a decade. He cheated death once, but he can't cheat it this time. None of it feels fair. Nearing his last hours, he lands on using himself as a bargaining chip to get some sort of leg up on the BBEG--who has wanted him in their control since he woke up. Against everyone's wishes, he offers himself up in trade for something vital, kisses Jack and Lyris(everyone else gets forehead kisses), and walks into their clutches in an effort to make his death mean something. And it will. No one will let him die in vain.

(Bonus)

Felix: Takes five seconds to bask in the irony, then makes a focus object to allow him to appear in astral/spirit form in the mortal plane. He throws his mortal body back in between life and death and then moves on as a living ghost as if nothing happened.

Okay, so I really hope I don't ever have to use any of these bc they make me so sad.

I haven't deleted any asks! I'm working on the others as we speak! 💛💛💛