#she's got that borderline moving coming out and her role seems like so much fun

[simplykorra]

endless alba 44/∞

[themetaisawesome]

MK12 has been out for a while now, but I'll throw spoilers under the cut anyway. Long story short, I did not care for the last third of the story. Longer story below the cut.

I was pretty engaged in the first two acts, or at least the first half.

Shang Tsung's new backstory is great, a con-man elevated by "Damashi" with promises of power and greatness. Sorcery combined with alchemy and a claw weapon reminiscent of Scarecrow is top notch. Plus, Alan Yee channels Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa's smarmy deviousness excellently.

Glad Kronika is never coming back

Kung Lao's intro chapter was fine. I like the new status quo with him and human Raiden. Madame Bo is fun (hope she becomes a kameo). The Lin Kuei test was good.

Human Raiden is serviceable but boring.

Johnny is a mixed bag. On the one hand, he gets some of the funniest lines of the game and the Johnshi bits were excellent. The development of their friendship was top notch. On the other hand, he leans way too heavily into the younger Johnny we saw in the 2nd timeline. When Cristina was introduced I was like, "Whoa! Johnny has a new love interest? What's the story there?" But after she leaves, they don't do anything with her. They get divorced off screen, and I feel like that hurts Johnny's story. Some of his intro dialogues are borderline "fuck my ex-wife" sitcom level shit. He has one where he threatens Nitara if she goes near her, but that's it. There honestly seems to be something there with Cristina that the writers overlooked. She fell in love with Johnny before the fame, when he was John Carlton. It would've worked as the setup for a real arc for Johnny, where he has to learn that there's more to life and himself than the action movie star. It would serve as a nice echo of his development between MK9 and MKX. I'll be honest, as much as I like BladeCage, I wanted Johnny and Cristina to work things out.

While we're on the subject of intro dialogues, does the frequent use of the words male and female rub anyone else the wrong way? Maybe it's because our world is plagued by transphobes and their bullshit rhetoric, but I do not trust when those words replace man and woman in sentences where they shouldn't be. It makes dialogue sound less organic.

Baraka and Repile as heroes? Ashrah's return? Syzoth/Ashrah? Perfect. Amazing. No notes (except for a major one that I'll get to in a minute).

While I agree that Kitana was a bit underutilized, she still works. Love her.

Also loved how they used Mileena in the story, and she has some pretty good intros. So glad we got to see her with the heroes and on good terms with her family. Mitanya/Tanleena is also a very cute ship.

Li Mei was fine. She has a great new moveset. ACAB tho

Does anyone else think it's weird that they changed Quan Chi from an actual demon to a person of color, and then gave his white skin an origin story? His role in the story works, though he and his titan counterpart become second fiddles to Shang Tsung in the second half of the game. Sean Krishnan gives a good performance, but I do miss Ronald Banks.

Oh, General Shao. How the mighty have fallen. While Ike Amidi is a good actor, that voice does not work for Shao. It works for characters like Atrocitus because it's a very brutish voice. It lacks subtlety. There were times it was okay in MK11, but they doubled down in 12 and it does not work. General Shao gets one or two moments where I believed this was an accomplished war hero who genuinely believes what he's doing is right, but they are few and far between. The truth is, I don't think Netherrealm Games respects Shao Kahn, and that's a shame.

While we're on the subject of voices, let's get to Sub-Zero. While Kaiji Tang works for a character like Sanemi, it really doesn't work for Bi-Han. There is not a hint of subtlety in his try-hard edgelord presence.

Kuai Liang as Scorpion is... okay. Liu Kang really did give him Hanzo's moves, outfit, powers, name, wife, and position, and then made him a young Hanzo's mentor. Daisuke Tsuji was a great choice to play him, tho.

Glad Smoke is back and that's he voiced by Yuri Lowenthal, but there isn't a whole lot there. He's almost as boring as Raiden.

So, I know Jerrod being a part of Ermac has been a thing since MK9 and Netherrealm is finally doing something with the concept, but I don't care for it. It's not bad, and it works in the story, but I feel that giving Ermac the soul of a major character detracts from him being his own character. Ermac stops being Ermac and instead becomes a second life for Jerrod.

Pretty boy Havik and his hair still makes me laugh.

Darrius sure does exist.

The less said about Nitara Fox the better.

Glad Motaro and Sareena returned. Goro still seems way too short.

The writers did well with Sindel, making her a noble queen but one who holds grudges and has a temper is many steps above Twindel. Shame she died tho.

Liu Kang gets a B- for this new timeline. Matthew King continues to nail it out of the park with his performance, the Fire God has some spectacular fatalities, and there's a lot of interesting stuff in this new status quo. There's just a lot to nitpick with the third timeline.

So, my main gripe with the story starts at the Titan Shang Tsung reveal. The reveal itself is perfect. Aftermath's alternate ending being canon in another timeline and using him as the villain behind the scenes is an idea worthy of two chef's kisses.

However, it's to this story's detriment. He usurps the narrative significance of the current timeline's villains and their plot. Had they saved Titan Shang Tsung for the very end and as the antagonist for the next game, it would allow better focus on our current timeline villains and given more heroes screentime. Baraka, Ashrah, and Reptile disappear half-way through the game. Mileena and Sindel get to shine (before the latter becomes the sole heroic casualty), but the rest of our heroes only get a handful of moments. This is especially bad because from chapters Kenshi to Syzoth, the group dynamic was so strong that I missed this team working together during the second half of the game.

While there is something commendable in going so big as Armageddon 2.0, the fusion fighters feels gimicky and the Titanic Deadly Alliance just feels... eh. Honestly, most of the minions don't feel like they come from the same timeline as the Dark Raiden and Twindel that we fought earlier.

And then the Deadly Alliance just gets beaten. The diner scene that follows feels weaker because A, not all of our heroes are there, and B, Geras' warning that Liu Kang will have to sacrifice the life he's grown accustomed to doesn't pan out because he can just hang out with them any time he wants. If "the realms are in good hands" is meant to tie back in to that "sacrifice", then it falls flat because it doesn't connect.

Then there's the end credits teaser, which is a dud. What makes Titan Havik any more threatening than the other two titans that we just defeated? If Titan Havik is a teaser for an Invasions event, whatever. If he's set up for MK13, then every criticism

But if they were dead set on having Armageddon 2.0 in MK12 and if they wanted to set up the next game, Titan Havik wasn't the one to go with. You know who they should've had step through that portal?

The return of the OG Shao Kahn empowered by Blaze would've knocked the socks off of everyone. It establishes that the Midway timeline still exists (even if everyone is dead in it), puts Shao Kahn back in a place of honor, and would be WAY more hype for MK13.

Anyway, those are my many thoughts.

[ckret2]

Alright let’s talk GVK spoilers!!!

My reactions as best I can remember them!

- love how Kong is humanized from the very first scene, like every time he shows up he’s humanized so much more than other titans are. If that was at the expense of other titans being made likable I wouldn’t enjoy it so much, but like, Godzilla is made pretty lovable over the course of Monsterverse, Mothra is too, and all the titans featured for long are given recognizable emotions that let us see them as more intelligent and feeling than “just” animals; so all of them are made understandable/likable/sympathetic. But of them all, Kong is the only one really humanized. Which makes sense, because like, big monkey! Basically our distant cousin!

- And they kept playing, like, normal songs for him, which cracked me up.

- I really appreciated how you could SEE the titans in this movie. After all the weather effects to hide the titans in KOTM, there was such a clear difference in this one from the very start. Kong in the daylight! Godzilla makes his first attack at night, and even then you can see him much more clearly than you can for most of KOTM! Nice!

- after the Iwi were portrayed as silent stoic witnesses in Skull Island, I really appreciated that they took an Iwi character, made her a main character, and gave her dialogue and a real role to play in the story while also keeping her deaf/mute. I think that was a good way to improve on the way that the Iwi got got sidelined in the last movie while still maintaining the worldbuilding!

- I didn’t appreciate so much that, y’know, they murdered the rest of her people off-screen in order to do it. Couldn’t they have gone “her parents died so she got adopted by a Monarch agent that was close to her family, but like, the rest of her tribe is fine”? Or at the very least “their island got fucked up so they had to be evacuated but like they’re settling in somewhere else”? “They’re living under this island dome with Kong and they know what’s up and Monarch’s keeping them in the loop and they decided they’re chill with their new dome home, but this one girl likes to go on adventures with Monarch”? Something? Did we have to kill them all off? Y’all make up an entire fictional indigenous culture and then murder them off-screen when you don’t need them? Just let them live.

- a few minutes in I was like “hold on, we’ve got two characters that speak sign language, we’ve got a giant gorilla, gorillas learn sign language, is there any reason they can’t teach Kong?” and then later I was like “OOOOOH!!” Humans and titans learning how to communicate with each other has been one of my favorite themes to explore in Monsterverse fanfic so I was absolutely tickled to see it getting explored in canon, too.

- That said I think it’s hilarious that the girl managed to teach Kong to sign without, like... anybody seeing. Kong’s hands are above the tree line and there are cameras everywhere, how did NOBODY with Monarch see him signing.

- Bernie’s weaponized being an annoying coworker to such a degree it can only be called an art, and I really appreciated it.

- Godzilla’s extra chonky in this movie and I dig it. Roomie noted he was extra crocodilian and I dig that too.

- “There’s been no confirmed titan sightings in three years” I don’t buy that for a minute. They’re BIG. Rodan NESTS IN VOLCANOES. They found a MOTHRA EGG. Humans have A SCARILY WELL-FUNDED ORGANIZATION DEDICATED SOLELY TO FOLLOWING TITANS AROUND. Like, most of the lore in GVK that I don’t personally like, I can be like “eh... I can tweak it just a little bit with headcanons to make it work for me...” but NO confirmed titan sightings? You expect me to believe ALL of them moved underground when we’d previously seen them all prefer to live above ground? You expect me to believe that now that they’re all AWAKE, they learned how to HIDE?? Uh-uh. And at the end of KOTM there was stuff in the credits about using titan droppings as biofuel, obviously they’re still walking around up top! Can’t take that from me. Nope.

- Who the FUCK is Ren Serizawa and how is he related to Ishiro Serizawa? IS he related? Maybe they just dropped the surname as another “yeah this is a Godzilla movie for Godzilla fans” easter egg but I have a hard time believing that he can’t be somehow related to the other character with the Very Important Last Name who was so important in the last two Godzilla movies. If he is related I’m sure it’s been explained in a tie-in comic or the novelization or something, I’ll look it up later.

- I had to look up how much weight huge battleships can carry while writing a KOTM fic where Ghidorah hitches a ride on one, and y’all, I had to pull weird gravity-negating magic to get him to ride on that boat. Godzilla and Kong woulda sunk that boat like a rock. All I could think during that scene is “this wouldn’t work and I know that because I DID THE RESEARCH and I wasn’t even getting PAID.” I’ll choose to believe that Monarch gets special heavy duty ships designed to carry titans but nobody mentioned it because it wasn’t relevant to Kong’s journey.

- The bit where they could see where Godzilla was swimming because he’d got half a ship hooked to him that was bobbing around on the surface, didn’t Jaws do something like that with a buoy? It’s been ages since I’ve seen Jaws. Anyway good reference.

- Insert “they’re gonna need a bigger boat” joke

- I LOVED the part where they shut down all the ships to get Godzilla to leave. Both because, one, it’s a spectacular callback to KOTM’s “turn off all the guns so he knows we’re not a threat” that makes it seem like now that’s just what Monarch knows what to do to get G to chill out, and two... we know that Godzilla backs off either when he’s killed his enemy or when his enemy has yielded to him. At the end of KOTM—and the end of GVK—the act of yielding is presented as very ceremonial and uniform across species: everyone lowers anything they’ve got that could be dangerous (claws, fangs, beaks, axes) and bows to show Godzilla they’re not gonna fight. Battleships, obviously, can’t bow, but even without being inducted into whatever secret titan cultural intricacies might be going on, humans have figured out their own way to “bow” to Godzilla: cut all the power, so their ships can’t move and can’t use weapons. I know the movie presented it as “playing dead,” but c’mon, if Godzilla could hear MechaG power up from halfway around the planet then he could hear that Kong’s heart was still beating, and he’s been around enough boats to know humans can turn them off and on when they want. The humans bowed to Godzilla. He accepted that they yielded and left.

- Mark Russell looked like such a dad in this movie, like he’s retired 100% from being a rugged action hero and now he’s just Pure Dad. I like him better when he’s a dad, it’s a good development for him. He got like 3 lines and I’m like “I appreciate this character development.”

- Despite all my qualms about how conspiracy theories and extremist groups are handled in Monsterverse (and WHICH conspiracy theories they decide to reference), I really love Madison and Bernie’s dynamic. The adult man who’s the excitable wide-eyed believer in every BS conspiracy you can possibly imagine; and then the serious, severe Teenage Girl On A Mission who’s hypercompetent because she was raised for five years by a friggin doomsday cult militia; and despite having wildly different personalities they’re just, in total agreement about everything. Handled just a BIT differently (like, leaving out the more gross IRL conspiracies) they would be a wildly fun comedic duo—especially with Josh the Only Sane Man coming along as the hapless sidekick. And they all play off of each other so well! Both in a comedic sense, and in more serious moments—when Bernie talked about his wife, there was a real moment of empathy between him and Madison with very little said. I’d watch an entire movie just about the three of them. I’d watch a TV show.

- On the one hand I wasn’t too much of a fan of KOTM’s “all titans... are inherently In Tune With Nature... nature has a Balance, because that’s a Real Thing and not an anthropocentric concept to describe how we like nature to act, and they automatically restore it... because they’re like, some kinda borderline divinities or something... we should probably be worshipping them...” thing; but, now that it was totally absent in GVK, I sorta miss it. Like I feel like there needs to be a balance, a few humans who are like “i lowkey worship these dudes?” and a few others who are like “they’re cool but like, that’s a lil extreme” and that neither side be presented as Right in how they regard titans’ relationship with nature.

- “All titans come from THE HOLLOW EARTH” nah I don’t buy that it’s silly. Basically, what I object to is the idea that all titans have some sort of intrinsic similarity (they all come from the same hitherto-unknown location; they all are part of the same pack that has the same alpha; they all are fueled/fed by the same energy source; etc) rather than letting them be SEPARATE species whose only unifying traits are “they’re all big enough to fuck everything up everywhere they go” and “they’re big enough that the typically-insurmountable barriers between different biomes (mountain ranges, valleys, long distances with terrible weather) aren’t insurmountable for them, so even if they’re specialized in different environments they still all have to deal with each other pretty often.” I’ll make some exceptions for convergent evolution (i.e., claiming multiple titans developed similar traits that are relatively easy to spontaneously evolve and a prerequisite for a creature to survive at such a large size). But I can’t buy “this big gorilla has more biologically in common with this big crocodile-iguana than he does with, say, gorillas,” or most of the other “all these titans have THIS IN COMMON” claims that Monsterverse makes, including “everyone’s from hollow earth.” So I’m tossing that out the window and substituting my own headcanons. Some might’ve evolved there but some evolved on the surface. Maybe a majority of them like ducking in and out of the hollow earth like some kind of titan shortcut system. Kong’s species, I can buy, IS native to hollow earth, considering that they built a whole-ass society down there with tools and architecture.

- I’m SO curious about the little underground Kong home, the Godzilla motif in the floor, and the axe that appeared to be made with a Godzilla scute. What’s the story there??? We know Godzilla’s species and Kong’s species are ancient rivals. Is it because Kong’s species hunted Godzilla’s to steal their scutes to make weapons, seeing them as a valuable resource the way, like, early humans considered woolly mammoths a valuable resource—thus making that Godzilla on the floor equivalent to cave art of mammoths made by people who hunted them—until the Godzillas got pissed and started fighting back en masse? Or were Godzillas and Kongs already enemies when Kongs decided to start making weapons out of their corpses? Did they use to be allies, fighting together, with Godzillas voluntarily offering shed scutes and/or bones of their deceased members to Kongs, and that place used to be a shared home until they started fighting?

- What about that power source, is it something that was already there that both Kongs and Godzillas started to deliberately harvest for technology/atomic breath? Or did Godzillas automatically channel that stuff and Kongs exploited/borrowed/traded with Godzillas to utilize it too? Or is the power from Godzillas who collaboratively poured a bunch of power into the place thus that Kongs were able to use it too? I doubt Godzilla’s species CREATED all that weird energy but the question remains of whether, like, they channel it FROM underground, or naturally produce the same thing in their own bodies, or what.

- Godzilla using his atomic breath to dig a hole STRAIGHT TO KONG just to KICK HIS ASS is hilarious. How lucky that Hong Kong just HAPPENS to be straight over Kong’s house! Were all the tunnels to the hollow earth made by pissed off Godzillas who wanted to kick monkey ass??

- I loved the aesthetic of the battle scene in Hong Kong, with the brightly colored neon building outlines, VERY cool look. The choreography of the battle scene was great too, especially

- we literally broke into applause when Kong shoved the axe handle in Godzilla’s mouth. Love it, perfect callback, that was the ONE thing from the original King Kong Vs Godzilla I was hoping to see referenced and there it was.

- You could really see a difference in how Kong and Godzilla fought—Kong doing a better job at using tools and the environment, Godzilla fighting more like a reptile. They seemed to emphasize Godzilla’s more animalistic behaviors in this movie to accomplish that contrast—he was down on all fours and moving like a crocodile more often, he was clawing at Kong’s chest—but even though it seemed a bit different of a combat technique it also didn’t seem out of place compared to how he fought in prior movies. And we’ve already seen that if Godzilla’s involved in a fight and one of the combatants knows how to use the environment, it’s typically not gonna be Godzilla. (See: Ghidorah using the reflection in a building’s windows to see what’s behind him, and recognizing a nearby power source and biting it to juice himself up.)

- So many of Godzilla’s enemies seem to have specialized in negating his atomic breath in order to combat him! The MUTOs directly suppress his ability to use it—and it makes sense that that’s an inborn ability they have, since they evolved to use Godzilla’s species as prey. Kong has a weapon that both acts as a shield to absorb the breath and turn it back against Godzilla’s species—they didn’t evolve to counter Godzilla, but they developed tools once a rivalry happened. Ghidorah’s the exception—which makes sense, since he came from space—but even at that we see him using tactics specifically to take into account Godzilla’s most powerful weapon (such as keeping one head on lookout for when he starts glowing so that they know when they need to dodge).

- LOVED the reveal that MechaG was based off of Ghidorah’s brain, it has vibes of both the Kiryu Saga and the way that Heisei MechaG is based off of Mecha-King Ghidorah. Not the most surprising plot twist, since we’d theorized that they might use San to make MechaG, but I wasn’t 100% sure they were gonna go with it until they finally did. Even when I was going “huh, the mecha pilot’s chamber looks weirdly organic” I didn’t make the connection to WHY until the reveal, lol.

- “Ghidorah’s necks are so long that the heads have to communicate with each other telepathically” that’s COMPLETELY WILD but I love it, it follows very well from their prior portrayal as telepathic empaths in Heisei, it lines up with their emphasis on electricity (because BRAINWAVES AND ELECTRICITY, hey ho movie monster pseudo science!), and it very much compliments my own private headcanon that they’ve got some psychic/mind control abilities.

- The movie ended with both “Godzilla won, technically” but also “since they teamed up as equals, the ending doesn’t FEEL like ‘Godzilla wins, Kong loses’ but rather ‘they both won against a common foe’” and since I’m on both Team Godzilla and Team They Should Be Friends, I’m happy with this outcome. Plus since the last time they fought, the Japanese movie company graciously let the American monster win, so it’s only polite that the American movie company graciously let the Japanese monster win.

- There were just a few too many humans in this movie. I was intrigued by Ren but we didn’t get much out of him, but like I guess somebody had to be in the pilot’s seat other than the Apex CEO. Didn’t care for the author of the hollow earth book, I feel like his role was superfluous. Didn’t need the Apex CEO’s daughter there at all, coulda done without her. How about this, combine all three roles. Instead of having a whole-ass author who knows about the hollow earth, just casually reference that Rick from KOTM wrote a book about it since he was the expert, and (since he wasn’t in this movie) say that he tragically died going to explore the hollow earth himself, and that way we’ve got the book with the “titans are from there” theory AND an excuse to share the “humans die when they go underground” info. Now, have Ren be working for Apex as a pilot for Mechagodzilla, but have him be MechaG’s pilot because he’s also a good pilot in general, and can fly those HEAV things. Have Apex send him to Monarch to be like “hey, you guys trust me right, since I’m Ishiro Serizawa’s relative? We at Apex have heard all about your failed hollow earth expedition, and due to Ishiro I’ve got some past ties to Monarch so I’ve got high clearance with y’all, so I could bring over this useful Apex tech that’d let you go underground and use what I know about hollow earth from my past time at Monarch to help guide things.” Once they’ve got the little chunk of energy stuff and go topside, he hustles it straight to Apex and straps into his seat to run MechaG. Bam, you’ve combined “person who knows enough about hollow earth to help the expedition,” “person who represents Apex’s interests and gets the energy,” and “person who pilots MechaG” into one character, in a way that takes three flat/underdeveloped characters and turns them into a single interesting character with a lot going on and some intriguing ties to the rest of the cast.

I think that’s everything?? Hoo.

[treesandtheirberries]

Dad!Harry talks to his daughter about her questioning sexuality PART 2

part one

(Thank you all for liking the last post, my heart is so full.)

More about the twins, parents' discussions, and a girl's day of insight and vulnerability.

WC: 3.5 k

-----

After tucking June in bed, much to her playful annoyance, Harry made his way to the bedroom where the love of his life was resting. Crossing the hallway, he smiled to himself. There was nothing he loved more than being a trusted father. Having this responsibility lifted him, it guided him to be even better. Just replaying the conversation he had in his head was bringing extra moisture to his eyes. What could he say? He was a natural softie, this (y/n) knew so it was no different with his babies.

Right before making it to his shared bedroom, he instead turned to make his way to the younger ones' room. (y/n) might possibly be crossed with him if she finds out he awoke them just for some kisses, but she didn't have to know.

Shuffling into the room, lit by a nightlight that displayed soft stars on the kids' ceiling, he noticed both of them whispering to one another. Having them share a room was the conscious decision of the parents. Although they had a few rooms to spare, they preferred the twins to sleep together, as they quickly noticed how the two reacted when apart. Oftentimes, they'll find Mick in Mazzy's bed, or vice-versa. It is clear to the parents that the twins are most comfortable with one another, and separating them seemed borderline abusive.

"Hmmm, what're you two on about? Late, innit?" Harry softly spoke, with a smile on his face to clear any seriousness in his words.

"Dadaaaa" Mazzy dragged, smiling that her father was here. She sat up on her bed, making grabby arms as to drag her father further into the room. He was so weak for his babies and quickly made his way to her.

"Mazzy meet friends today. Talk dada," Mick explained in an annoyed tone, which Harry obviously found hilarious. Pardon him for not knowing the basis of their conversations. As he smiled to himself, he wrapped his arm around Mazzy as she further burrowed himself on his side, and he extended his hand to Mick (whose bed was a very short distance away from Mazzy's). "Bedtime dada, momma said sleep" Mick said seriously to his father as he reluctantly grabbed his hand.

Harry and (y/n) could see the personalities of the two strongly already: Mick adopted the role of the carrying older brother despite being born only six minutes before, and Mazzy the clumsy, caring younger sister. The twins upheld their roles quite well, and because of their personalities, they rarely left each others' sides.

"Oh baby, I know she did but I just want some snuggies. Don't kill me, 'kay?" Harry said, pulling his arm so Mick would get the message to hug his father. Despite wanting to seem ever-so mature, loved nothing more than to hug the most important man of his life and finally succumbed to 'snuggies'.

"Mumma said to sleep for school, dada," Mazzy inquisitively said to Harry, looking up at him questioning.

"Yes baby, you two need to start sleeping more, you'll start preschool later this year, and mums' not sure if they do nappy time like in daycare." He rubbed both of their backs in unison as he saw them interlock hands on his stomach. These moments, he thinks, are the exact reason he does what he does. He wants nothing more than to support his babies (all four, actually) and be able to watch them grow. "Just wanted to give you guys some kissies. Kissies please?" He finished by puckering his lips as he looks down at the two.

They giggle and lean up to press soft kisses on his cheeks simultaneously.

"Now what's this about some friends, Mazzy?"

"Yes papa, so nice to me. Mick wants to hear if good friends."

Harry continued to rub their backs, so proud of their bond. "Good job Mick, always taking care of your sister. You know she'll always do the same for you too."

"I know dada, told me Aidan was rude to her. We not friends again." Mick stated, again making his father's chest filled with pride.

"Good, we all know we need to treat our friends nicely but if they are not kind back, we can't let ourselves be their friends. What do we do, babes?"

The kids smiled, playfully annoyed once again yet said together: "treat people with kindness." dragging it out as most kids do with very little seriousness.

"I've gotta go now, let's tuck you both in so momma will never know I was here, 'kay?" He lifted Mick in his arms and carried him the short distance to his bed, while Mazzy tucked her legs back in her blankie. Making sure Mick was cozy, he planted a wet kiss on his forehead.

"Dadaaa" Mick smiled, knowing his father's antics by now.

After placing another kiss on Mazzy's head, he placed a palm on both of the children's bellies. "I love you two so dearly. You guys, June, and your mum are the best things in my life. Rest up so we can have another fun day tomorrow babies."

He finally made his way out of their room, seeing the two burrowings further into their respective blankets with their eyes closed filling his heart. Sneaking his phone out, he snapped a quick picture and sent it to his wife so she could keep a copy of the moment. (although, through this, he effectively ruined the small secret of waking them.) Fuck it, he'll just say this is how he found them.

-----

"She wanted to talk about the Sage situation?" (y/n) guessed, as her beloved crossed the threshold and planted himself face-first on their king bed. All spread out, he moved his back to crack it, due to the stress of every day and ... well, age.

"Said she heard about my sexuality more than yours. Bet you're jealous huh?"

"Please, I know the bond you two have. Is she okay though? You gave her the good ole' 'we'll always be there' parent talk?" (y/n) never doubted his ability to be a father, but these circumstances were a bit more sensitive than other matters. She finally shut her book, placing it on the bedside table that holds Harry and her's current reads. There was no better end to her day than kissing her babies and reading alongside the love of her life.

"She's okay, I think. It's hard for her, obviously. I hate seeing her in pain but this is just one of those things she has to do. As long as she knows we're here, I don't expect it to be too difficult?" He pondered. He did mean it, being a questioning teenager is difficult as is but adding sexuality to the equation? He was fortunate enough to be so self-assured that the concept of questioning himself wasn't that turbulent. "But she wants to hear from you too, obviously. Be prepared to share your life story babe," he giggled, turning his head to see his wife who now began to stroke his hair. God, that really did it when he was tired.

"Yeah, I think I recall her saying this week was slow since she finished exams, so would you agree that we could take a girl's day in light of it all?" She pondered, wanting to assure her daughter in the best, normal way possible.

Harry finally sat up, only to cuddle into his wife's arms. This was another reason he knew the two were soulmates: she loved being the big spoon as much as he liked being held in her arms. "Yes, definitely a good idea. Mhm, what'd I do to have someone as mindful and loving as you? M'life would be incomplete without you, you're everything to me, love." Still feeling as 'lovey-dovey' as ever, he burrowed his head further into her, almost physically absorbing the love she poured out.

"I just want her to feel normal, I guess. When I finally came out, it seemed like it was the only interesting thing about me. It was the only point of conversation for a while, and I don't want June to feel like it's such a hugely different thing. She's still our baby, always will be."

"Hmm, the parenting books have nothing on us. So happy we're a team," he says, grabbing one of her hands to intertwine their fingers. "Gives me a love boner just thinking about how good we are, God."

"Narcissistic asshole. Want a bedtime handie?"

Her words make him shudder, a moan itching to be released. "M'done for with you."

She smiles at his words, knowing that the man in her arms is unlike the general population in that he prefers her hand far over her mouth. Shifting a bit, she kept one arm around his shoulders, to keep him close, and inched the other one to his briefs. They were firm believers in comfortable sleeping, which often lead to sleeping in only undergarments or less. She began to touch him softly through the fabric, already feeling how hard he was. "Oh baby, what's got you all worked up already?" It was a taunting tone, something about their position made it common sense that he'd be more submissive tonight.

"Please, (y/n). Just a quick hand, please." He shifted his hips, trying to get her soft hand to come down harder. Lucky for him, she wasn't in a mood to see him suffer and pressed the heel of her hand more firmly. "You know exactly what that does to me. Please baby, I'll be quiet."

"I know you will, you deserve this, 'kay?" She finally ended the small foreplay and moved her fingers into his briefs. Having been with her for over 15 years, (y/n) knew exactly what got Harry off the quickest. Nothing sold him out faster than a quick, sloppy hand, and her coaxing and appraisal always made him finish embarrassingly fast. Wrapping her hand around his length, she immediately began to jerk him off, wiping his precome to make it smoother. "Such a good daddy to our babies, best father out there I swear."

Her words made him shudder, even more, her touch making him extremely sensitive. Given her arm wrapped around him, he moved his head to the crevice of her neck, feeling shy from her praise. "(y/n), you're going to-" he was interrupted by her thumbing his head again, letting out a breathy moan, "god, make me cum so quick, please."

"It's okay baby, come on now, give it to me." She smirked as she felt him press soft kisses to her neck, almost as a thank you for the fucking phenomenal handie he was receiving.

His breath increased, indicating he was nearing his peak. He began to whimper ever so slightly, wriggling in place and only pushing himself closer to her. "Cumming, god m'cumming." he moaned, finally releasing over her hand.

(y/n) didn't end there though, still dragging her hand to rub his cum down his length and creating a click-ing sound. It was left unsaid that he loved to be overstimulated and milked.

Finally pulling her hand out after Harry begged her it was enough, she got up to grab a hand towel from their en suite restroom. Coming back, she found him with his eyes shut, clearly ready for sleeping.

"Budge up, or this'll get all gross in the morning."

Moving sluggishly, he allowed her to clean. "Come on now, let me do the same to you," he slurred as he flipped on his side, patting the bed.

"No baby, that's alright. Just wanna sleep with 'ya." She smiled at him fondly, noticing his eyes once again shutting in content. The two were almost annoying cuddlers, and they were practically seared together when it came to sleeping.

"Alright, in my arms 'ya go now. Come." He said faintly as she crawled into the space he made for her. Immediately squishing her face in his chest, he wrapped both arms around her back, caging her in and digging his fingers in her loose hair. "Love you," he whispered, although given his face was over her head, it was pretty muffled.

"Love you."

------------------

"Let's do three more deep breaths, and then we can go see what your mum made for breakfast," Harry indicated, eyes still shut as he sat cross-legged by Mazzy and Mick on the floor, June also sitting on one of the twins' bed.

Before the two parents gave birth to June, Harry insisted that it would be vital to teach their children meditation: a practice that would help them understand and work through their emotions. (y/n) agreed quickly, after hearing many testimonials online of increased mindfulness in small toddlers. Harry tried more often than not to do what he called "Good Morning Heart" exercises before school, but if he was out (y/n) had no problem doing it alone. Today though, the two woke up slightly later than usual and had to split up their duties.

"Okay, good. Keep your eyes closed for now, my bugs. I want you to think about one thing you hope to achieve today. Talk to a new kid maybe, or participate in class. Anything, and take another deep breath as you think of it."

"Dada, done now," Mazzy said, smiling wide at her father. Obviously having meditated her whole life (although they didn't consider it meditation, more so family time) she was used to these exercises and her father leading the group. She didn't know exactly why they did it, but being able to frame your day as positive before it even starts did boost her already positive demeanor.

"Good job baby, so proud of you. Why don't you go run down to see your mama? Not on the stairs though."

"I take her, dada!" Mick excitedly said, unknowingly to others, his positive goal for the day was protecting his 'baby' sister.

Harry smiled, dimples shinning as he saw the two siblings scurry down the hall. "Finished bug?" He asked as June and he were the only two left in the twins' room.

"Yeah, going to ask mom about everything."

"She's ready, and she's so fucking proud of you."

"Thank you, Dad, for everything. I mean it." June leaned over to give him a hug, making her cheek squish against his shoulder. He moved his head over to give her a kiss over her hair, closing his eyes for a second, basking in the life full of love he manifested.

"You didn't hear it from me, but I have an insider report your mum made chocolate pancakes."

-----------

"Come here for your kisses, don't try to weasel out of it," (y/n) laughed, putting her arm over the center console to pucker her lips. Mick was first, giving his mom a kiss on the cheek, dimples resembling his father's. Mazzy followed with obtaining their daily kiss before daycare, both stumbling their way out of the car to meet a teacher that helped them inside. "God they're so precious, as are you," (y/n) said, as she softly pinches June's cheek.

"Mooom," June dragged, now in the 'always embarrassed by parents' teenager phase. "Could we talk about Yesterday? You know, with whatever Dad said?”

“Yes! Actually, before we start would it be cool if we play hooky?” There wasn’t a ‘cooler’ parent between the two as they usually were very lenient, but this definitely bought (y/n) some cool parent points.

“What?! Are you sure? Is Dad okay with it?”

“Of course, he encouraged it really. Just a girl's day for us, can go shopping and eat lunch? Whad’ya think babe?”

“Freak it.” Or for translation, June’s way of saying fuck it.

—————

“Can you maybe … tell me how it worked for you? How you … decided?” June said nervously, still nervous about the topic.

“Yeah, of course, baby. It’s a much longer story than your fathers, but I’ll try to condense it:

“At your age, it’s such a period of confusion, and a lot of times your family can agitate that. From seventh grade to about my senior year of high school, I had what I now call my ‘identity crisis. Really, it was rooted in sexual confusion and overall expression but at the time, it was the most dramatic thing happening since the death of mom.”

The two were sitting in the car, having stopped by a local cafe for coffee before sitting in the mall parking lot. It was an odd place, but comfortable given the two were together. (y/n) and Harry prided themselves off of being an open family and sharing details of their past, but this wasn’t something June had heard of in such detail yet. Because of this, she was extremely absorbed in what her mother was saying.

“It’s really funny to me now, because that’s how I deal with things, I guess. But at the moment, I was-“ (y/n) turned her head to look out the window of the car, needing a small moment before recalling the most difficult time of her life. “It’s ridiculous because I know I should say losing mom was painful, but this whole sexuality thing tore me apart in a different way. It was silent, and it was internal. There was no one I could tell, not until my junior year.

“Anyway, going back to the plotline, yes. I did have a close friend I liked. She is mainly the reason I began to question, that and being a little too obsessed with Stevie Nicks. Sidebar: that was one thing that your father and I initially bonded on.” (y/n) finally lifted her head to see her daughter who stared at her with much adoration. Although she was a mother, this specific conversation still made her extremely insecure due to years of denial from family. She could only hope to raise her kids in a contrasting environment. “It was really hard, and I did become depressed and, well, suicidal frankly. Coming from a background like mine, there isn’t a ‘good’ view on anyone who is gay and that combined with my father's overall conserved nature, I was terrified. Then there was the back-and-forth: am I gay? Am I straight? Am I faking it? Does it matter? And the answer, to the last one at least, is yes it does fucking matter.”

“It made you that sad? Trying to figure it out? Dad says I’ll always be the same girl, why was it such a big deal for grandpa?”

“It was hard on me that I didn’t have someone noticing this pain I was going through. I, unfortunately, did not have someone to tell me that it was okay, and it was normal. God, I felt like such a deviant,” (y/n) laughed in an attempt at raising the mood. “When I finally got around to telling your grandpa, he said that mom mentioned it to him once, before she passed. He claims that she said I was going to be different, and he would have to understand that. Mothers always know. And he did, at least, he tried. It was hard to go from always saying future husband to future partner but he got the hang of it. You’re never too old to change your views and grandpa is the best example of that. He’s also very proud of his son-in-law for being so open about everything including sexuality, says that makes our relationship stronger and is the biggest reason he permitted your Dad to propose.”

"I don't even know what to say, that's kind of insane mom."

(y/n) laughed. The pain of her past has subsided over the years, and it was relieving to be able to recount it. "So insane. What else can I say about this? Two aunts were really rude about it and dad got so angry. It made me cry seeing him fight for me. After that, things just all worked out. It's still a hard topic, it took me forever to tell your dad. I thought he was going to be grossed out," (y/n) laughed again out of remembrance, cheeks warming from embarrassment.

"Mom! How could he, I'm sure he was the same as when you two met but dad would beat himself if he ever hurt you. And, that's really nice to hear about grandpa." June was amused over the change of topic and touched her mom was letting this information out.

"No, no. He's always been so attentive and needy," (y/n) giggled, June joining. "You should ask him about it, he's such a sap but that story especially gets a few tears out of him."

"Oh, definitely will do."

-------------

After the two had strolled around the mall a bit and found a few new pieces of clothing (what could (y/n) say, she had the tiniest shopping addiction) June opened up the conversation once more.

"So, how long does it take to know know."

"Oh babe, there's no number I can give you that works for everyone. You can't really but a timeline on these things. I will say there are stages, like definitely a questioning period, but you might not spend time experimenting with labels or you will. It's really hard to say. Personally, it was like six-ish years for me?"

They continued to roam the store, June now looking at jeans with embroidered details. "Hm." She looked deep in thought, but not nearly as conflicted as Harry described her to be the night prior. "I'm thinking about it mom, and I might be sure about it."

As (y/n) moved June into her arms into a Styles' classic bear hug, she hummed in joy. "I am so happy to hear that baby. We are so proud of you, and you're still our same baby but you're developing your identity and we're just so proud to be your parents. Please, babe, don't worry about this, we're here always to defend you through anything. Although, half of our friends and family are gay or something too." (y/n) gave her a smirk, both chuckling at the situation. "Now, if we're done here maybe we can stop by your dad's fav strawberry dealer, he sent me a message he was craving some."

June followed her mom out of the store after deciding to buy the jeans, body warming at the thought of having what she considered to be the best parents in the world.

_____________________________________________________

Part two done! kinda obsessed with this storyline now, so let me know what else you want to see from this precious family. ily!

[sepublic]

Kraid!

KKKKKRRRRAAAAAIIIIIIDDDDD

I was trying to avoid as much of Metroid Dread as possible to be surprised... But then I learned KRAID is back, in glorious HD as part of a mainline game and...

Oh, he’s beautiful!

Seriously, I’ve always wanted to see more of Kraid! Dude was one of the OG Space Pirates alongside Mother Brain and Ridley, who are present throughout the series; And as someone who is apparently Ridley’s Brother-in-Arms, I’m just really curious on what he could be like?

I doubt we’ll get much if anything in terms of personality, but that’s how Metroid games work anyway! Hopefully we get more lore on Kraid, how is he still alive? Does he have regenerative abilities, is he just really incredibly durable? An X-parasite imitation? Fake Kraid has grown up and this is Sclayd? Did the Chozo clone him, maybe even somehow resurrect him from a dead body, or even the afterlife considering their borderline mystical abilities???

Either way, that’s clever of the designers to have Kraid be restrained, as a meta explanation as to why he doesn’t just charge forward- Thus allowing the developers to start off with a traditional take on the Kraid fight... But since he manages to break an arm free in the trailer, the fight might progress and get more deadly, as Kraid becomes more free.

His neck brace will probably be the last to go, to show a sort of natural transition from the traditional style of Kraid fights, to a more modernized take and I am all FOR it! Everyone’s wondering if Ridley will return, but Kraid alone would MORE than make up for his absence, especially since Ridley is already so prevalent while Kraid has only gotten bread crumbs and the Brinstar Depths stage in recent years!

This is like a dream come true... And obviously Kraid is set up to fight Samus, but it’d be kind of neat to see an arc where him and Samus recognize a mutual enemy in the Chozo, and work with each other over it? Probably not, but I feel this would be more plausible than Samus and Ridley working together; A fun thought exercise I’d always entertained, but there really isn’t that personal vitriol between Samus and Kraid.

...I mean, there COULD be if Kraid takes Ridley’s death personally, but who knows, he might hold off on revenge just long enough for a practical escape! Regardless, I utterly adore just how gnarly and twisted this guy looks, it reminds me of Ridley’s Smash Ultimate renders that really modernize his look, breathe a new and alien life to it while still being the same! And the added, slimy body horror, borderline insectoid, like Smash Ridley!

But yes, I appreciate Metroid Dread taking the opportunity to be new, instead of trying to cater to the mainstream audience as an official return to pull them back, especially since we already had Samus Returns do that, especially with Proteus Ridley being thrown in! And with how Proteus was by far the best Ridley fight in the series, I can’t WAIT to see how Mercury Steam gives a new action to a Kraid boss battle!

And it looks like there might be a passageway behind Kraid that he’s guarding... Kind of like his previous appearances, I love Kraid being a giant guard dog- His girth and weight alone makes him an impenetrable wall! Plus he gives immovable object vibes, VS Ridley as an Unstoppable Force.

Ridley moves fast and aggressively leads the charge, while Kraid is less mobile, can’t even fit through most passageways; But holds down the fort and line of defense, tanking damage and shrugging it off compared to someone who heals from it!

Seriously, this is great seeing this under appreciated Space Pirate represented! I’ve always been salty about Meta Kraid being left out of Metroid Prime... And Kraid’s got a distinct identity of his own as one of the biggest bosses in the entire series by a long shot!

His big, colossal, green and chunky frame, that brutishness to Kraid, the size and brawn- It’s a nice contrast and foil to Ridley’ who is memetically huge in general, but from a relative standpoint averagely-sized as a boss, and MUCH scrawnier than the Awakened Behemoth; But he makes up for it wit speed and agility, flight, etc.!

Plus the concept of taking on a full-on Kaiju of the series, Metroid’s Godzilla... I always felt like there was a wasted potential to Kraid and how he stood out as a counterpart to Ridley’ more of the lumbering mountain to scale compared to the acrobatic Cunning God of Death! His Kaiju size, the way the ground could easily tremble from each footstep like Jurassic Park...

If Ridley is a Xenomorph, make Kraid into Godzilla and Rexy and every giant monster whose sheer scale inspires a horror based in awe, one that is huge and grandiose and demands attention and seizes all of it, gloriously basking in full view, in contrast to the more stealthy and subtle Ridley!

They’re both reptilian Space Pirates who debuted with the franchise, serve Mother Brain alongside one another as the two guardians to Tourian. And just like Ridley taking one of the recurring boss themes from Super Metroid and adopting it as HIS theme, Kraid seems to have done the same by Zero Mission!

Plus, Brinstar Depths, AKA Kraid’s Lair, is SUCH a metal soundtrack! It doesn’t necessarily apply to Kraid himself, but I feel like there’s an enigmatic personality hinted with the eerie, melodic tune of this theme... So as someone who’s tried to write him, mostly in my head;

What kind of person is Kraid? What archetypes and roles would he fit? As a more casual type of arch-nemesis, compared to the personal intensity of Ridley? A dumb brute, or smart in his own way? What personality and vibes would make Kraid’s Lair fit as a theme for him?

At the very least, I wonder if we’ll get Space Pirate lore, maybe even origins as to Kraid and Ridley’s species? They’re both huge dragons who took over Zebes... Could there be a connection between Ridley’s species and the Chozo? Will we get a bit of sympathy for Kraid, seeing him captured like an animal by the Chozo, perhaps to test experiments upon and clone?

Will Dread encapsulate the realization of just how much of a bigger scope villain the True Chozo are, experimenting on Kraid the way the Galactic Federation did with Ridley’s clone, another parallel between them? Will we explore the dark past of the Chozo, and a potential tragic look into Kraid’s species- So Samus has a better understanding of how her people have been terrible in many ways, even if that doesn’t at all justify Kraid the person’s actions?

Just... Imagine a storyline where Samus realizes that Kraid was made by the Chozo, or his species was, or they were genetically augmented or massacred, or something like that. Just a twisted moment of realization that explains but doesn’t justify. Which could lead to Samus and Kraid teaming up for a prison breakout at a pivotal moment, Kraid’s girth would make him a helpful ally.

Perhaps Samus could weaponize Kraid in the background to take the brunt of the True Chozo’s attacks, while she takes on the leader? Could he help with environmental terrain, blind to the background as a colossal feature of the environment, a kaiju briefly on your side?

Could we get a Kraid fight where he attacks from the background, instead of to the right? Will he ultimately die helping Samus- More for his own gain and revenge, but still? Maybe even leading to a reluctant salute from Samus as she recognizes them both as people captured, as experimented upon by the Chozo? Apologies for all of the fanon conjecture, my mind is racing...!

I think there’s SO much potential with Kraid and seeing him full, unadulterated HD glory... It’s glorious. It’s magnificent! This is a dream come true, and I hope Kraid finally starts to get the recognition he deserves! Even if he’s just A boss fight, I’m already sated and content here- And I can only imagine the new wave of fan content that will spawn for Kraid, as he’s recognized a defining moment of Dread!

Plus, I’d love to see people characterize and give lore to Kraid... All in all I am LIVING and in triumph here!!! I know I keep using this meme but

Literally this alone, just these shots... Are ALL I really want and need, in the end! Bless you Mercury Steam for this food, for breathing new life into this franchise while renovating what really needs it! I don’t even care if Kraid’s return is never really explained, I’m incredibly happy here!

This new design... It just FITS and works as a new, evergreen design for Kraid honestly! Compared to Ridley who is a lot more varied and arguably inconsistent, even with his Smash render... THIS is the new and definitive Kraid for me, now! I am having the time of my LIFE here!

Ridley the Cunning God has cheated death... is Kraid the Behemoth has reawakened!

(With the idea of Prime Kraid being reused for Metroid Prime 4... I’m wondering if we’ll begin to see an all new Kraid renaissance? 👀 More frequent content as Nintendo starts giving him and more appearances and attention, including in other media and advertising, alongside Ridley???)

[jonsa101]

Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson: The Well-Meaning, Incredibly Self-Centered Leading Men We’ve Grown to Love.

Hey fam! Like I said, I’ve been writing a ton of meta lately and this is another one that’s just been sitting in my drafts. It’s basically a This Is Us and a New Amsterdam meta which is something I haven’t done before but something I want do more of. In my Game of Thrones days I used to write a lot of meta about shows and characters that had similarities so this is fun for me. I hope y’all enjoy this. ALSO THIS HAS SPOILERS FOR BOTH SHOWS!!!!!!!

Without a doubt the two most popular shows on NBC is This is Us and New Amsterdam. And what’s not to love? They’re both emotionally driven, heartfelt, shows that focus on incredibly deep and complex topics. Though one show focuses on family dynamics and the other focuses on the healthcare system, these shows are very similar in more ways than one. Case in point, Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson. The more I watch these two shows, the more I realize how these two characters are so alike!!! These two men are kind-hearted, well intentioned, individuals who genuinely want to make some sort of positive difference. They are incredibly ambitious and always have “bright ideas” and “goals” they want to accomplish and somehow they’re able to meet those goals without ever having to sacrifice their wants and needs. By every definition these men are the “main characters” or the ultimate “protagonists.” These are the folks that we are supposed to root for. At the same time, though these men have many traits to be admired, when you truly look at it both of them can be incredibly self centered and selfish especially when it pertains to their romantic partners and love interests. No matter how appealing you make these characters out to be these men clearly fall under the Behind Every Great Man trope.

The Behind Every Great Man trope has been used countless of times throughout Cinema and TV History that I’m sure that I don’t even have to explain it to you but for the sake of this meta this is how it’s defined.

“Behind Every Great Man...stands an even greater woman! Or in about a hundred variations is a Stock Phrase referring to how people rarely achieve greatness without support structures that go generally unappreciated, and said support structure is a traditionally female role via being the wife, mother, or sometimes another relation. This trope is specifically about a man who is credited with something important, but owes much of his success to the woman in his life.”

This trope usually has a negative connotation (and rightfully so) because the man who often benefits from this is an asshole and unworthy of this type of support!

For example:

Oliva and Fitz

Cristina Yang and Burke

Cookie and Lucious

Ghost and Tasha

There are countless others but these are a few of the couples that come to mind for me. Randall and Max aren’t comparable to any of these men that are listed above but they are still operating under the same trope. It just looks nicer because Max and Randall are inherently good and inspirational. They are the heroes of the story. I would even argue and say that both men fall under the Chronic Hero Syndrome trope which is defined as

“Chronic Hero Syndrome is an "affliction" of cleaner heroes where for them, every wrong within earshot must be righted, and everyone in need must be helped, preferably by Our Hero themself. While certainly admirable, this may have a few negative side-effects on the hero and those around them. Such heroes could wear themselves out in their attempts to help everyone or become distraught and blame themselves for the one time that they're unable to save the day. Spending so much time and effort saving everyone else can also put a strain on the hero's personal or dating life.”

Just because Max and Randall have these incredibly inspiring aspirations, is it fair that their wives and love interests are always expected to rise to the occasion and support them. Is it ok for their partners to continuously sacrifice their wants and needs because they love these men? 

Let’s dive into it. 

Truth be told, Beth Pearson, Helen Sharpe and Georgia Goodwin had to endure a GREAT DEAL to emotionally support the dreams and aspirations of these men while sacrificing so much of themselves in the process. In media we often see women sacrificing so much of their wants and needs out of love for these male leads and rarely do men do the same thing for their romantic partners and love interests. All three of these women clearly fall under the Act of True Love trope defined as

“The Act of True Love proves beyond doubt that you are ready to put your loved one's interests before your own, that you are truly loyal and devoted to them. Usually this involves a sacrifice on your part, at the very least a considerable effort and/or a great risk. The action must be motivated, not by morals or principle or expectation of future reward, but by sheer personal affection.When your beloved is in dire need of your help, or in great danger, and you do something, at great expense to yourself, for the sake of their safety, their welfare, or their happiness, thus proving beyond any doubt that you put their interest ahead of yours.”

Over the past few seasons we have seen all three of these women truly live up to this trope without any true consequences or accountability from the men they’re making all these sacrifices for. For example, in Beth and Randall’s marriage, how many times did Randall spring an idea on Beth without truly talking to her or considering her wants first? Everyone thinks these two are an ideal couple but she has endured A LOT for Randall.

Randall has spontaneously quit his job, moved his dying biological dad into their home, bought his biological dad’s old apartment building, fostered and adopted a child and also ran for city councilman outside of his district. In all of these decisions, Randall “consulted” Beth about it but at the same time didn’t really consult her. In a way there has always been this expectation of Beth to just go along for the ride with what Randall wants. Is anyone else exhausted from reading that list?! That’s a lot for partner to endure and lovingly support. But Beth has endured and has been Randall’s rock through it all!!! What worries me is that the one time Beth spoke out about her wants and needs of pursuing dance again, he couldn’t match the same energy she was giving him and eventually it led to world war three between them. Though things are looking up in their relationship  and he’s starting to support her more, has Randall nearly given to Beth as much as she’s given to him? Absolutely not!

Similar to Randall, Max also had a wife who was a dancer. in fact, she was a prima ballerina. Unlike Randall and Beth, Max relationship with Georgia was rocky from the start. When we were first introduced to them Max and Georgia were separated and rightfully so. Georgia was never Max’s first priority. The hospital always came first in their relationship. He couldn’t even dedicate a full night to her for their proposal. In order to “save” their marriage they decide to have a baby and they both committed to taking a step back in their careers in order to do so. The problem was Max didn’t keep his side of their commitment and took a job to become the medical director at the biggest public hospital in the U.S. She gave up her career to start a family and he totally and completely betrayed her trust. So throughout season one we see them trying to rebuild their marriage but even in the midst of trying to rebuild a marriage based on trust and mutual respect Max still keeps things from Georgia. For several episodes he didn’t tell her that he had advance stages of throat cancer. He only told her when Georgia asked him to move back home. That’s fucked up! Then throughout their pregnancy he was never fully there for Georgia because he was either to preoccupied with the hospital or himself. At the end of it all, Georgia died tragically at the beginning of season two and really had nothing to show for it in her relationship with Max other than her daughter Luna.

Now let’s bring Helen Sharpe into the fold. While all of this stuff was going on with Max and his wife in season one, Max was developing a deep friendship, borderline emotional affair with Helen. Their relationship started out with Helen being his oncologist. As the new Medical Director of New Amsterdam, he swore Helen to secrecy about his diagnosis so that he could still run the hospital. Through that secrecy they eventually formed a deep bond but as his cancer got worse his secret was let out of the bag. He realistically needed someone to step up and run the hospital when he was going through chemo and though Helen already had commitments she stepped up and became his deputy medical director. Somewhere along the lines Max and Helen started developing feelings for each other. As Helen becomes aware of those feelings, she made a choice and decides to remove herself as Max’s doctor. He BITCHES about it but eventually accepts the boundary she’s clearly trying to set. Mind you, as this is unfolding, like Max, Helen is also in a new relationship with her boyfriend Panthaki. As Max’s cancer seems to be getting worse with his new doctor, she goes back on her boundary and decides to be his doctor again. This pisses her boyfriend off because he could already peep the vibe between them and he breaks up with her. When we get into season two, Max’s wife died and Helen set him up in a clinical trail (with a doctor she previously fired) that’s helping his cancer.  Unbeknownst to Max, this doctor ends up holding his life saving treatment plan over Helen’s head and in order for his treatment to continue she gives this doctor half of her department!

Helen has sacrificed a lot for Max and now in season three she’s finally prioritizing her current wants and needs first! Like Randall, Max is starting to turn a page and is starting to support Helen and truly listen to the wants and needs that she has. All of this is good but my question is did any of these women have to sacrifice so much for the men in their lives to get a clue?

Why is it that this is a trope we see in media time and time and time again? Even if these men are good, why don’t we still keep these male characters accountable when they put their significant others in these situations that are clearly not fair? I’ve watched countless tv shows and I’ve seen a lot of tv couples but I think I have only come across one couple where the male counterpart has selflessly loved his significant other and has always put her needs above his own. 

That character my friend is none other than PACEY WITTER

I might be mistaken but I think Joey and Pacey are the most popular ship in tv history and honestly, rightfully so! This is only example I can think of where the male in the relationship so willingly puts the wants and needs of his partner first. It is a completely selfless and sacrificial love. He never wants to hold her back and he never asks her to compromise her wants or needs for him. That’s why I think so many women love Pacey because in a sea of TV relationships, Pacey Witter is a fucking unicorn.

So to wrap this up does this mean that I hate Randall Pearson or Max Goodwin? No! I adore them. I love both of their characters so much. I just think that when we see the media continuously play out the sacrificial wife/love interest for the sake of their male counterparts, it should be called out. I’m all about sacrificial and selfless love but it should come from both sides.❤️❤️❤️

Anyway I hope y’all enjoy this! As always my DMs are opening here or on Twitter @oyindaodewale

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Brother Dearest Pt 43

First course into second were two meals that had you out of James’ arms, from the much anticipated dancing around your waist his arms remained fixed even to the point he almost drew you onto his lap to eat. For the third course it was the dessert course where before you could turn your head James was on his feet and up he helped you for the walk over to the table tray being rolled out with the larger cake for your table and the important guests with a couple more rolling trays coated in single serving round decorated mini cakes everyone else was going to get to be served next. Right behind you he strolled with hand on your waist and feet careful to not step on your dress up to the cake where behind your back he widened your smile with his arm that slid across your stomach to hold you to his chest. Cheers and pictures captured the slicing of the cake and the joint serving of bites off the designated forks and plates of cake that you both snacked on while the cakes were served out to everyone else.

Stolen glances to your parents between the next round of dancing had you pulling away as James took up the chance to join the men in a celebratory cigar break outside. While Eddie joined him, Vic and Dawn led the ladies over to your side in your break at the bar for a refill on your screwdriver. Norma with a hand on your arm to ease herself between the stools there smiled in accepting the pretzels and ginger ale the bartender brought out for her to help her shifting stomach after her last two nights. Dawn asked lowly in your lift of your screwdriver for a sip, “Having a good time?”

You nodded, “Just needed something to drink. I like this syrup, help get that champagne taste out of my mouth.”

Dawn smirked to Dot’s saying, “I think I might talk to Grubbs about getting me another of those cakes tomorrow. Down right addictive.”

You chuckled to yourself and caught sight of Princess Elizabeth’s future fiancé Philip who strolled over to the bar. With an air of a mood where the blonde was used to being able to snap his fingers and get what he wanted he gave his drink order and over the lot of you his eyes skimmed. “Fine way to become a Mrs.”

“Thank you,” you said with a grin unable to think of what else to say in his thanking lift of his glass when it was given to him.

“Bet you’ll be relieved to hand over things and settle down.”

“There would be a line of losers along with you for news on that bet.” You said turning his head to catch your grin that spread in the eye contact the bartender took as a sign to turn and count his bottles to not be seen chuckling.

“From what I see you may have had fun with the run you had heading your comics and-,”

His hand rose to lift his glass for a smug sip after his comment was through but you shut him down, “No one is taking my businesses or achievements away from me. This is a ring not a leash and I doubt a man with such a tiny perspective on what women are supposedly entitled to could understand the fact that my husband is not threatened by marrying a strong successful woman.” His lips parted, “Not every man wants to lock their wife away and take everything but a spatula away from her limiting her to wife maid and mother. And to be honest for a man who may be latching himself onto a future Queen perhaps you haven’t been properly warned to this rude awakening you are in for when she wears the crown not you, with more power that you have no say over.”

“I can’t imagine you know anything about my life or how my relationship with Lizzie will turn out.” He retorted in a growl borderline statement almost more for himself than you.

You smiled wider, “You give away a great deal more than you realize. And when it all comes down to it no matter what agreement you formulate pre crown it’s going to be shattered when the country and people bump you down the list of priorities. And if all it took was one comment to ruffle your feathers over drinks then boy are you in for a body slam when she’s Queen and your role changes to support her, to uphold her legacy and public image. What a lovely wife you’ll make keeping house while she rules a chunk of the world.”

That had him huff and turn to walk off to Princess Margaret’s side where he leaned in to mutter to her only making her laugh which angered him more. The bartender having seen that bent over to hide behind your back to laugh into his arm to muffle the noise through Norma’s asking, “And he’s going to be King?”

“Oh I highly doubt they will let that happen.” You muttered before another sip, “Doesn’t seem to be favorite with the ruling clan.”

The bartender said in his lift up to peer over your shoulder, “Nail on the head Bunny. Better hope for the Poor Princess they can break him down a bit before anything concrete is locked down.” The path of the Princess in question with empty glass in hand had him moving to ready a refill for her and muttered, “Ooh. Incoming.”

With a smile you nodded your head among the other ladies in Princess Elizabeth’s stroll over. Gracefully she settled the glass on the counter trading nods with the bartender then sort of sighed out in a mustering of courage to speak, “This is such a lovely day.”

“Yes it is. I hope your wedding day has such fine weather. Must be hard to find a clear day to pick I hear it rains fairly often.”

“Yes, though there are usually a few windows that are fairly good windows of weather. Early winter most often is quite beautiful. For myself I quite enjoy the notion of a winter wedding for myself and then we could go somewhere warm for the honeymoon. Philip is set to be stationed someplace warm.”

“Well I hope he knows how lucky he truly is to have won your heart.”

That split her grin a bit wider and she asked, “Where are you honeymooning?”

“There’s a smaller cabin on our land we’re going to for a few days. To sort of deflate and hike and fish and be circled by bears and a few moose that stroll by.”

“That sounds rather lovely.” She said and you giggled to yourself.

Dawn said, “It is, weddings, even our elopings can be rather stressful, nice to just be together in the silence. Especially after living in Brooklyn where it never seems to just be quiet.”

The Princess locked her eyes on yours asking, “Do you prefer the city?”

“I miss how easy it is to travel to the library or museums, always been my place to unwind and run off to ignore the world. It is amazing here though. I really love it, our first trip here when we first came back from the war there was so much to learn how the guys take care of the land. Teaching us about the animals and hunting and clearing some trees to prevent fires and such.”

“Oh yes,” she replied, “Balmoral Castle in Scotland is our refuge. We hunt and fish as well and go on ample hikes. The palace can be quite the fish bowl at times, so many people coming and going.”

“Sounds a lot like Brooklyn then,” you said with a grin luring hers wider in accepting her new drink.

“It must be fascinating though, attending school among your peers. I was taught from tutors.”

“Well if you ever want a list of books I’d recommend your dad has my number and address.”

“Thank you,” her eyes shifted to follow yours to her sister and mother who were both looking her way and she gave you a grin and excused herself to go and see what they were speaking about. In her step away Portia smiled and slipped over to join your group to see how you were doing with smiles at your break of eye contact for Norma’s grab of your hand to lay on her stretching baby’s feet. On the ease of your eyes back to Portia yours locked with the blue pair on the blue cloaked woman dancing with her date who gave you a kind smile while the glance lasted.

 *

Warm under the sun James grinned in the first puff of his lit cigar mid chatter of the guys surrounding him. Eddie, not smoking sat sipping on his whiskey with a smile locked at the barely breaking smile on James’ face while his thumb spun the wedding band on his finger side to side with glee at finally being married. The conversation carried on while his head turned to glance inside with eyes narrowing a flinch at what he heard Philip saying to you. One of the soldiers said, “Piece of work that one.”

James looked back at the blonde’s stroll away saying, “No kidding. Lucky he brought an escort.”

Victor said, “Good thing he’s the side piece to the Princess.”

Another solder chuckled, “Not that he’s gonna take that well.”

The one next to him said, “Can’t even keep his eyes on his own date. Tried to slide up to my Kim till the girls glared him off. But I guess once you get up to a certain status who you chose to honor is a small list excluding your wife to be.”

They all smirked as the one beside him said, “Unlike the Baron here. High class Noble.”

James rolled his eyes, “Just words. Fish and hunt and mind the land like everyone else.”

Another said, “Not gonna lie, she’s earned that title. What is a Lady Baron?”

Victor chuckled, “Baroness.”

The soldier stated, “Yes, Baroness Bunny Pear Howlett, Corporal Medic and future Doctor. Not to mention her book,”

Soldier 4 asked, “Does that make her an author? If it’s just pictures?”

“It’d be photographer right?” Another asked.

James, “I would say photographer. She could do well in it if she wanted. Got a good eye.”

King George among them garnered greeting head nods and to the cigarette in his fingertips one of the soldiers brought out his lighter earning a thanks from the King, “Thank you, hope you don’t mind my joining the smoking circle.”

Victor, “Not at all, Your Majesty. More the merrier.”

Through another curiosity bubbling deep chested chortle of a try to cough the King gave out a puff of smoke from his first inhale and looked to Eddie, “You don’t smoke Eddie?”

Eddie shook his head, “No, besides, Dawn’s still got that sensitive smell thing going on since Marigold was born. Can’t even eat heavy handed pepper meals or she’s got to lay down.”

He nodded, “Ah,” and looked to Victor, “Norma, isn’t it? Your lovely wife,”

Victor nodded with a smile, “Yes.”

King George, “Her pregnancy is going well?”

Victor, “Yes, very well. She was worried about it but we’ve been hovering and keeping her calm.”

King George, “Worried about what?”

James said to Victor’s silent moment in search of words, “First time jitters mostly. Even Jaqi’s had a few come up in our talks about families when they came up. Her mom had nursing books around the apartment so she’s had plenty of information on what could go wrong. Norma’s caught some stories about hard labors too, but Doc’ll take good care of her and the baby.” He accented with a pat of his hand on Victor’s back calming his older brother who was reminded of that fact daily.

King George, “Oh yes, labor can be quite troubling for all involved. Even my girls were a bit of an ordeal for my lovely wife.” After another puff of smoke from him and James he added, “I do not doubt the both of your wives will pull well through their births as Eddie’s bride surely has.” His eyes wandered inside to his daughter chatting with the women and he asked, “Have you managed a greeting with my prospective son-in-law yet?”

James, “Not yet, Jaqi has.” He accented with a puff of smoke afterwards to the dissecting once over from the King.

“I take it he was not the most gentlemanly of guests from the drink?”

“One way to put it,” one of the soldiers said.

The King looked to your trio asking, “What is your opinion on him?”

James, “Would you mind my frank answer?”

King George, “I would greatly value your honest opinion.”

James curtly said, “Break him now.” That had the King’s brow rise and he said, “Some men admire strong women, others want one they can own. One day your baby girl is going to have to pick up a crown when she loses you, hopefully well down the line when she’s got some greys of her own. A move I know you know will be excruciating. And that little boy is not going to take it well when he realizes she rules the country and his every move will be to support her in that effort. When his legal rights as a husband over her are null and void. He will not take that well.”

Victor nodded and said, “We can only protect our daughters so much while we are here, the rest is all left to chance by who we let in the door once we’re gone.”

Eddie, “Princess Elizabeth is a sweet girl, a foot below how shy Jaqi was when she was little, and we just don’t want dead beat tethering himself to her where she can’t get out.”

King George nodded, “Thank you for your honesty. I will do my best on that front.”

Eddie joked, “If not we know a guy who’d eat him free of charge.” That had even the King chuckle. The conversation then dipped to the cabin and land which brought out a tangent on get aways in the wild.

 *

“What a beautiful wedding,” the mystery woman said in her approach to Elliot’s side as you took a break to check how he was enjoying the ceremony near to the snack table while others were still dancing.

“Thank you,” you said and asked, “Have you known Bill long, Miss?”

“Asteria,” she replied and she said with the notice of your parents that came closer on the other side of the table to Loki’s move right up behind Elliot. Heimdall freshly back from a check at the BiFrost to shoo away some curious teenagers who were trying to sneak a peek at the long since used portal they had been learning about. “I do apologize for the farce, I simply acquainted myself with Bill not long after you had returned from the war and your pictures were first in the papers. Though we never met in the news clippings in theaters I could sense your familiar aura I had felt once in my youth off of one of your children.”

Elliot spoke, “And just what situation did that meeting pertain to?”

She grinned and replied, “Not a meeting, just a passing in awe. The aura is unmistakable and knowing this is your territory upon honor and that of my sisters I wished to welcome you back.”

“Sisters?” You asked and she drew in a breath to answer.

“We are the Amazons, beloved of Aphrodite who after freeing ourselves from the slavery Hercules enforced upon us to leave the world of Men and forge our own sanctuary of an island. Though not without a price, my sisters fashioned the strongest of our armor and I chose to remain behind to face the armies roused to bring us back and give my sisters a fighting chance.”

“Must be some armor.” You muttered and her smile spread again.

“Your child intervened and turned their focus away from myself and returned to their path again. Even Aphrodite had barely heard whispers of your children herself, and to have been saved by one I wished to thank you myself and share that I have been returning kind acts into this world to protect these people as your children have. I also wished to inform you that I am entirely at your service should you require me.”

To Elliot you looked and asked, “Are Amazons on the list of topics to cover later?”

His eyes narrowed in thought at Heimdall stated, “You are a child of Paradise Island,” which earned an agreeing nod, “Clay infants granted life by those known by the Greeks to be Gods.” He looked to you, “There is a mention in our records of an island you noted upon their birth. Fairly inconsequential for other races. Though notably reluctant to leave their shores.”

Asteria, “I chose to remain behind to repay the debt of my survival and to prevent others from following myself to the shores of Themyscira. Another younger naïve sister of mine seems to have chosen to live here as well after her arrival in this world during the First World War to battle with Ares. Perhaps when she comes to her senses and understands who is here keeping us safe now that the other Gods have abandoned this coil.”

“If people don’t know about yours then why not go back now?”

“I have accepted my mortality, to return now would defeat the purpose of my life here in the world of Men.”

“Mortality, how long do your people live?”

“I have been on this planet since before the days of the rise of Greece and its fall. There is life in my bones still for quite a while yet. I am quite in awe of all you have achieved in such short time so far.” She said and to your eyes scanning over her face she added, “Perhaps the eye of the storm is not the best location to view the progress the storm brings about.” Bill called out to her and she smiled saying, “I will not impose upon you further, when you need me I am certain you will know how to find me.”

She walked to join her date to begin dancing again with him at his request while Loki stated, “Surprisingly genuine that plea for allegiance.”

You asked Elliot, “What exactly am I supposed to do with that?”

Elliot replied, “Perhaps we might take her at her word. I will consult the others who remained behind to see who might have aided her. Should be a simple task there are only so many possible of our blood who could have been outside of our territories to have intervened with any armies as she had stated.”

Heimdall spoke, “Now that she has made her presence known to you I will keep her actions noted.”

“If she’s been here this long she may be harmless in the scheme of things. Even if she did sort of sneak in to say it.”

Elliot looked to your father as he said, “She will not harm you or your rule. Once we return to Hel we will speak to their Aphrodite.”

“So the Greek Gods are real?”

Elliot shrugged, “Not in so many words. Belief based beings who dwindled in power long ago. They are of very little trouble to us now.”

Loki drew your eye, “I do believe you should be dancing. This is your day.”

“I do believe you are right Prince Loki. Now, I have to go steal my husband from a King.” The Prince smirked on your turn away in saying to Elliot, “I will let you steal more of the sweets and pretend I didn’t see.”

Elliot chuckled and returned to eyeing the treat table he had hoped to fill another plate from before taking Edie up on her offer of a couple dances later after she had finished her own spare treats. The two having hit it off as friends bonding over sharing stories and their affection for you.

Outside however a simple stroll up to the group was made and a hand on James’ back had his grin double at the turn of his head and Victor chuckled taking hold of his cigar. Over your head James’ arm eased to rest around your back at the accepted tug away from his group for the adored chance to show you off around the dance floor again. Tenderly his lips pressed to your temple in a duck under the rim of your hat to hum, “I apologize for neglecting you my Darling.”

With a finger hold on the front fold in his jacket you replied in the doorway, “You can go back to your cigar after a couple dances.”

Once his eyes locked with yours in a backwards tilt of your head he smirked to rumble, “I’d never touch a cigar again if I get to keep you in my arms.” His words melting into your lips in a lean in to steal a loving kiss his fingers framed your chin and cheek to slip free and claim your hand to guide you in front of him to let you lead the way between couples onto the dance floor. The moment possible again his hands eased yours around his neck and palm to bring you as close to his chest as possible, with a loving smile locked in place and seeping wider the longer he could hold you. The dancing lingered until you paused again to rest and ended up settled on top of his lap back in his seat for a few more snacks and a top up on your drink. Though that ended when Eddie and Erik got their chance to claim their own dances.

Some more pictures came with the friendly goodbyes to the sun setting the Nobles were the first to head out for their flight back to their waiting home in Ottowa the Prime Minister’s group tagged along for the free ride. Truman’s group was next with scattered guests who had long drives readied to leave lined up with the acceptable end of the bouquet toss. One toss and the giddy Bride-to-be waved it around as the men lined up to light the way with sparklers for the path to your waiting car. Inside however to the settling of both your hats on your lap your eyes locked with your parents’ and they nodded to remind you of their agreement to meet you at the cabin.

Eddie and Victor mastered the clean up while Dawn and Norma went home in a Brock carload to the house to get some rest and put the babies to bed. The camera crew and photographers loaded up and gave word they would send copies of the ceremony and pictures once they could be copied and printed. The guests gladly were off sharing their favorite moments of the ceremony by the time you had reached the drive to the house. Already you had handed over the veil that Mama Brock had taken to keep it safe for the next Bride who would need it to Father Thomas’ stolen few private words of well wishes for the both of you on your way to the honeymoon.

“You were brilliant you know.” You said to James who stole a smiling look your way.

“I did very little past repeating the words and comments on what to do and where to go. You are the brilliant one all our guests wanted a break with you for chats. Master hostess.”

“Weddings aren’t truly a hostess situation. If it was I’d have thrown out that blonde nimrod of a future Prince.”

“Oh I heard him, if he hadn’t shut up when he did I’d have given Squishy a signal to eat him.”

“You heard?” you asked looking at him.

“Of course I heard. Told King George they should break him now. Before he can put some damage on Princess Elizabeth.” His hand moved from the shifter to your hand in an eye locking promise of, “I am never going to take what is yours from you. Whatever you build I will do all I can to legally hoard it until we can transfer it to your name fully.”

“We are going to have to head to the bank when we get back.”

“I’ll put my name on the accounts but I’ve talked to them the other day to ready the balance consent cards that I can fill out for you to keep for big purchases so stores don’t look at you sideways if you’re out with the girls without me.”

“You really trust me with that much cash? I might start buying things left and right. Leave us broke.” In a playful raised brow glance he made you giggle at your own teasing statement and he chuckled shifting his arm to draw you a bit closer to his side so he could kiss your temple. A bit sideways you shifted to keep your skirt from blocking the shifter and yourself against his side.

“Between the two of us we will have funds for centuries with how little we spend.”

“Guess we’ll fit the penny pinching Baron stereotype then.” He chuckled again to the smooth of your fingers across the back of his hand resting against your belly. After a brief pause you said, “I’m glad my parents could come.”

“So am I. I can see where you get your looks and that adorable hint of an Irish accent of yours.”

Softly you chuckled and asked, “Would you have wanted your parents there?”

“Oh no. Would have been nothing but complaints and questions as to why your dress wasn’t bouncier.”

“Bouncier?” You asked peering up at him.

“The hoop skirt frames were mandatory at the time. To not wear them about would set off a scandal.”

“I suppose the grey corset would have bothered her too?”

“Oh no. Colored outer corseted tops were quite fashionable for a time. Could have been taken as a gown from a relative. And hats were quite respectable as well.”

Through the dark while the conversation meandered the cabin came into view and once parked he lovingly helped you out and once his hat was added again he shrugged out of his jacket to the mild chill in the air and walked you to the door that he opened and showed you in through the dark. A fire was easily built to light the room and a few of the candles around the place. The knock on the door turned you and James gladly opened it to let your parents inside to start the conversation you greatly needed. Warm hugs however came first before the nestling into couches for ample questions on random things that you had ached to have parental input. Skipping the painful question as to how he had died and left you behind. The requested dance came to the start of a radio James had found in the coat closet and you split in pairs for each parent for a few tear stirring dances that brought your father to draw you into his chest for another tight hug.

“We should let you both enjoy the rest of the night.” That had you inch back in the hug enabling him in your peer up at him to cradle your cheeks with thumbs to settle ready to wipe away any tear that would dare fall to the twitch of your lower lip. “I love you so much, My Queen of the Cosmos. And I’m always here when you need me, no more barriers you are growing stronger by the day and I couldn’t be prouder to have been granted the honor of protecting you and claim to be yours.” To the lift of your hand to touch the necklace he said, “Keep it, when you need me press it in your fist and say my name, shout or a whisper I will answer. I’m right with you, always.” You nodded in the settle of his hands onto the tops of your shoulders. “I have to return with Sarah by midnight.”

“That some Cinderella clause for her trip here?” You asked post calming sniffle.

He smiled wider and answered, “No. There is a troubling herd of three headed goats who meander into our gardens if the house appears empty.”

That had you smile and nod then turn to see your mom’s hand lower from a kind pat on James’ cheek he smiled through. She turned at the end of her comments to him and hurried to claim her own tight hug you clenched your eyes through. “I love you my Precious Bunny. Don’t you worry about anyone else. I know my son has hurt you, but you need to let go of his words. I am so sorry I was too broken to stand up for you and give you a home to depend upon when I got ill.” She hugged you tighter to the drop of a tear down your cheek. “I know you were scared and he left you alone, I am so sorry I failed you. I hoped he would know you were a piece of me no matter what he felt about his father. I thought I raised him better than to abandon a child.”

“Is he in Hel too?” You asked in her pull back and they both shook their heads.

Your father replied, “No. We are unable to find his essence or Bucky’s in any of the various dimensions mortal souls descend too or we would have drug Steve here as well.”

James asked, “So, they’re not dead then?”

Your mother, “We aren’t certain.”

Your father, “There are beings or times an essence can become trapped or sent elsewhere, perhaps their ties to you had them taken. Some of our brothers are off in search of any whisper for where they might be.”

James, “Well when they find him I owe him a blow to the jaw.”

Your father chuckled and said in his move to the door he opened revealing the silvery blue and green mist outside the door they both passed through saying, “We will keep searching, do not let this trouble you. Enjoy your retreat.” Once past into the mist it faded into the night and James eased his arm around your back in the closing of the door.

Up around his neck when you turned into his chest your hands moved for the beginning of a seemingly endless kiss. Into the back of his hair your fingers stretched as an answer to his melt against you to the symphony of the crackle of flames, the forest around you and the whisper of the radio still fading in and out to the shift of show times.

The gentle blind tug on his jacket towards the bedroom granted you a free breath of air in his murmur, “I can hold you tonight, if you want.”

With a smile you said, “Either way I need out of this corset.”

His eyes dipped and lips parted, “Ah,” in the realization, “I apologize, completely slipped my mind. Come here Darling.” He said in a turn to guide you to the bedroom that he paused to light the fire from the candle he brought with him that he settled upon the mantle and turned back to you.

Around your back he moved and with a gentle press of his lips to your shoulder. His fingers eased down the laces on the corset to find the hidden knot he loosened to relax the tension in the garment that in a reach around your chest his fingers guided the hooks apart until he could set it aside and turn his focus to the laces down the back of your dress. In the lower of the gown to your feet he guided your hand to his shoulder for your step out so he could lift up and carry the gown he laid across the armchair along the wall he left the corset underneath to keep from snagging the sheer material with the broach.

Your hands on his back widened his smile and turned his head with his body to follow. Out of his sash he dipped and stood in a loving stare to your focus shifting to the vest buttons next. His jacket out in the living room would later be added to the pile but for now all he did was remove his cuff links he tucked into is vest pocket in his shrug out of it. A tug of his shirt from his waistband came in his eyes sink over your half shadowed self in a strapless slip and stockings ended in shoes he couldn’t wait to take off of you to rub your legs and feet in the beginning of a full body massage to relieve any sort of tension from the big day. And the moment he was shirtless you giggled in his arms that looped around you to lift you off the ground to carry you to bed. “Off your feet Darling.”

“Your shirt,” you giggled out watching it slide off the chair onto the floor.

“It will wash.” He said and settled you down on the cool comforter against the pillows. With a quick peck on your lips he drew back with hand smoothing over your hip to your thigh where he found the straps for your garter belt he undid. Sideways he twisted to unbuckle your heels he dropped behind him to the floor to grant him ease in removing each stocking that was followed by the garter belt you wiggled free he smiled in adding to the pile on the foot of the bed.

To the side he turned to ease off his boots that once on the ground he turned from to sit cross legged to cradle your foot saying, “You’ve had a long day. Just relax.” By the time he had gotten to the other foot you had removed the pins and braids from your hair to settle with the pendant on the nightstand to relax back against the pillows. Each smooth of his hand lulled you to where your eyes drooped and in the back rub with you upright seated with him behind you his smile spread at the melt of your body into his chest. Into the pillows he settled you so he could blow out the candles. To the sight of you he returned with your bags from the trunk of the car and his jacket he added with his shirt from the floor to the pile of clothes soon joined by his pants he changed out of and into his pajama pants. Right beside you under the covers he nestled in for a long night’s sleep.

Pt 44

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Mettle Of A Man; Part Six

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

“General!” 

  The unfamiliar voice roused Danse from his staring match with the coffee pot and he lunged to his feet, Righteous Authority at the ready.

  “At ease, Paladin. It's one of my friends.” Backhand soothed him, waving at the young man striding through the tatos towards them. “Preston! What brings you to this corner of the wilderness?” 

  Preston was on the taller side, well-built and wearing a strange combination of period clothing that Danse quickly identified as a higher-ranking Minuteman’s uniform. A scar hugged the brown skin on his left cheek, its path similar to Maxson's (though not as deep). His eyes, while kind, were haunted even in the bright light of morning.

  “We got the radio set back up in The Castle, and then we tuned into a repeating distress signal from a weird short-range frequency. Figured it was worth checking out.” The Minuteman touched the large brim of his odd hat while speaking to Backhand, almost like he was deferring to her. "You might have sent a message warning us that a Brotherhood research contingent was on their way. I'm not sayin' we would have left the queen untouched , but...well, you know how much folks around here like their seafood."

  Preston Garvey ( head lieutenant of the Commonwealth Minutemen ) didn't appear to have a malicious bone in his body, his handshake for Danse firm when Backhand introduced him. Danse found himself pinned by those intense brown eyes, the paladin squirming inwardly while the dark-skinned man studied him. 

  “You Brotherhood boys are bad news for the Commonwealth, but we can't exactly afford to be picky,” Preston stated bluntly with a disarming smile. “So, welcome aboard!”

  Danse felt his face go hot at the insinuation, opening his mouth to say... something , he wasn't sure what, but Preston was already refocusing on Knight Vega. Or should he say General Vega? This was the second time someone had referred to her as ‘General’. 

  Danse wasn't used to being so simply dismissed. He was, after all, a paladin . An overgrown specimen of a man in or out of his armor, with a carefully-crafted demeanor of stern authority. Preston didn't seem particularly rude though, mostly just exhausted. He had propped himself up with his laser musket as Backhand explained their mission of the day. Mainly, reacquire Danse's armor and mop up any remaining threats in Weston. 

  Danse realized he had no control in this operation as he was sans-armor and he almost laughed aloud at the role reversal in the field. Playing the damsel was definitely a novel sensation for the hulking paladin and he said as much, prompting Backhand into a fit of giggles.

  “Pretty sure I was the damsel at first, this guy has a hell of a throwing arm!” She informed Preston, thumbing the reinforced strapping of her combat armor. “Tossed me like I was a skipping rock!”

  “You threw the General?!” Preston sputtered.

  “It was a reflex .” Danse stressed the word, flustered. 

  “Yeah but you threw a whole human being? ” The Minuteman asked incredulously. “I mean, damn, what do they feed you guys?”

  “To be fair, the power armor enhances-”

  “Oh yeah, and he can move his armor even when the core's blown.” Backhand tacked on like she was a proud parent. Preston looked at Danse a little sideways, as though he suspected Knight Vega was talking him up. 

  But the Minuteman simply shrugged after a moment, adjusting his hat. “So what's the plan, General? I'm going to assume it's his armor that was pinging the distress signal.”

  Danse's breath hitched as it dawned on him that yes , that was exactly what was happening. The severe damage would have activated the emergency beacon, just like with Brandis’ team. And if some haphazard, ramshackle radio at Fort Independence could pick it up…

  If it's been going off since last night ...

  Their beacons carried their call tags. The Prydwen would have known it was his armor specifically. They had vertibirds to spare, despite Maxon's posturing when they had departed. Surely there had to be some logical reason as to why no one from the Brotherhood had come to investigate the signal. Danse couldn't think of anything at the moment, but surely …

  …

  The armor was exactly where it had been yesterday, a protective shell resting on a leg and three-quarters. Seeing the damage up close was sobering for Backhand, and judging from Danse's stony expression he was in the same boat. 

  “At least it was super mutants. If it had been raiders or, God forbid, gunners …” Preston trailed off, touching the brim of his hat. His hand shook a little.

  “I know, trust me. We would have been in for a really terrible time.” Backhand muttered.

  Danse, who had been essentially silent, abruptly began speaking. “Back in the Capital Wasteland, I once took an Enclave bullet to the leg. Hit a rust patch just right. Penetrated my armor and shredded my calf. I learned then that our equipment is not infallible by any stretch of the imagination.” Danse's fists were tight at his sides. “It's... distressing when a soldier jettisons his gear in combat, but I'll be fine.”

  "You think you can get it working again?"

  Danse scoffed at Preston's query, a grin quirking his lips as he tugged a fresh core out of one of his utility pouches. "Give me an hour. I'm no proctor, but I know a thing or two about my own armor." 

  The paladin muscled his armor onto its back, looking for all the world like he was slowly grappling with the empty suit. Backhand fought the urge to snort, shifting her attention back to Preston instead. "So how's Independence coming, hot shot?" She jibed, making him give her a tentative, self-conscious smile.

  "Really well, I'd say. Crops are planted, we have 'round the clock radio coverage and old Minutemen are showing up to get their transponders re-tuned for our new frequency!" Preston replied excitedly. "We gotta' get yours fixed up too, General."

  "You're still accepting the deserters?" Backhand wasn't exactly surprised , but it was a little strange to see how enthused Preston was about welcoming old Minutemen back into the fold. 

  "W-Well, new recruits are coming in too! We needed more trainers and-" Preston hurried to justify himself and Backhand jostled his shoulder.

  " Relax , tight lace, I'm only teasing. It's any port in a storm. No matter what you've done, you know I'm proud of you." She said softly. Preston's cheeks darkened further with a ruddy flush, the young man coughing and tugging bashfully at the brim of his hat. 

  "That's...real kind of you to say, General." He muttered after a second. 

  "I try to only speak the truth with my friends." Backhand gestured vaguely towards the paladin who was straightening out the plating on the torso of his armor. "Sometimes they're a little... hardheaded , but I know it'll get through to them eventually." Her statement was pointed enough that Preston raised an eyebrow. "He's a decent man. Something is fucked up between him and their leader, Maxson. I'm not quite sure what ." She continued in an undertone.

  "Careful about how deep you're digging the hole, General." Preston warned. "Brotherhood's got a fanaticism that's borderline religious."

  "Garvey, I was in the original . If there's one thing I'm familiar with, it's military maniacs."

  "Fair enough I suppose." Preston fanned himself with his hat, idly watching Danse beat his armor back into shape. "He's good looking, I'll give him that. Penchant for a type, General Vega?" He teased with a smile.

  "I can neither confirm nor deny!" Backhand laughed, "you're nosier than a pre-war tabloid journalist, Garvey. Planning on taking up with Piper?"

  "If it helps spread the word about the Minutemen, absolutely!" 

  The two of them lapsed into a companionable silence for several minutes. Danse abruptly glanced up, the lack of conversation seeming to penetrate his single-minded focus. "Am I being too loud?" He asked awkwardly. "I can try to be quieter." 

  "Nah, keep doing what you were doing." Garvey gave him a wave that was almost lazy. "I'm just taking in the scenery." 

  …

  The plan that Knight Vega proposed was ludicrously simple. 

  She had found a metal bucket in one of the trailers beside the water treatment plant. She would put her Pip Boy into it, turn on the radio and set the volume to max. Hopefully the racket would lure any remaining mutants out of the facility, wherein the all too eager trio would fall upon them with gusto.

  Preston was game for it as well, already cranking up the power in his laser musket as Backhand settled the bucket on its side by the front doors. 

  The usual vein of music issued from the Pip Boy, echoing a little in the bucket. Blaring brass overpowered any of the more delicate parts of the tune and Backhand laughed, playfully extending a hand to Preston. "Dance with me, LT? I'm sure we've got a few minutes."

  To Danse's utter dismay, the Minuteman did just that. Surely, this was some breach of protocol? The young man referred to her as his superior officer! Regardless of how lax their standards were, this couldn't possibly be proper. This…

  This was the most precious thing he had ever seen.

  Danse would be eternally grateful for the rigorous self control that enabled him to school his face into a neutral expression. Preston wasn't a half-bad dancer but Backhand was terrible , just downright uncoordinated. 

  The two of them were laughing like they had forgotten the issue at hand and for one blissful second, Danse found himself strangely at peace. Just watching both individuals fumble through some semblance of a dance he would never know, grinning and poking fun, entirely unconcerned about the world around them. 

  Danse was used to being watched. Scrutinized. Held to a higher standard than anyone else around him due to rank or simple expectation. Knight Vega...he should say something. Tell her to shape up. This behavior was unacceptable . Maxson could have her stripped of her probationary knight rank for this. Maxson could…

  Maxson . 

  The paladin gritted his teeth. 

  Elder Maxson could do a lot of things. The intensity of the depression that followed the thought startled even Danse. It was like a wet blanket wrapping itself around his entire body. Maxson could do a lot of things. He could have ended this before it even started. He could have mounted the assault when Brandis' team vanished. He could have-

  The doors to the complex swung wide open, four super mutants sprinting out. Danse's heart leaped into his throat. 

  Backhand and Preston-!  

  His body moved without thought, the armored paladin placing himself between the threat and the two who were now scrambling to prepare themselves. Danse cracked his knuckles in his gauntlets, bullets whipping through the air by his head. Three of the mutants were only armed with boards and sledgehammers, but the largest one carried a rifle of some kind. 

  A musket shot boomed from behind the paladin, pulping the head of one of the mutants. Danse surmised coldly that it must have been Preston's kill. Danse wasn't unarmed, but the enemy also wasn't inclined to give him the time to sling his laser rifle back around, and so it was with his armored fists that he rushed the trigger-happy mutant.

  …

  "Gotcha'!" Backhand's shotgun sounded off, the loud report muffled by the way she had rammed the barrel into the mutant's chest. Beside her, Preston kept winding up his musket to power his next shot. That first shot had been just what the doctor ordered, quickly putting the odds more in their favor. 

  There was a loud, angry grunt and Backhand looked up to see a super mutant go sailing past her and slam through the side of one of the trailers. Preston gaped at the sight, ceasing to crank his musket momentarily. 

  A roar of " abomination! " echoed through the courtyard, the sheer volume of it enough to give Backhand pause. The paladin had gotten too close to the mutant with the gun for the creature to continue to use it effectively and Danse pressed his advantage. Backhand watched slightly dumbfounded while the large man went toe to toe with the massive mutant. 

  The mutant yammered at Danse, nonsensical rambling about cracking him open and the paladin repaid those threats with his metal-plated fists. "Should we…?" Preston queried. Apparently neither of them needed to worry as Danse proceeded to shoulder check the mutant, forcing it backwards through the doors into the building.

  "It's probably therapeutic for him. He really, really hates muties." Backhand couldn't help but still feel slightly concerned and she sighed. "C'mon, let's make sure he's not getting devoured."

  …

  Danse manhandled the beast through two walls until he found one sturdy enough for him to pin the mutant against. It squirmed and struggled against the iron grip he had on its throat, choking out more insane nonsense. "This is for Cutler, you freak ." Danse's voice cracked as he drew his fist back.

  "You okay in here, Paladin?" Backhand's voice distracted him momentarily and the paladin paused. " Danse? "

  His fist crushed the mutant's skull, sending bone and brain flying. Danse released the now-dead mutant, shaking his gauntlet and hissing at the pain. Inadvertently punching a wall was assuredly not his finest moment. "Yes, Knight Vega?" He called.

  She carefully picked her way over the two piles of rubble that had previously been walls, her shotgun ready. Behind her came Preston, sweeping corners in a practiced manner. "Just making sure nothing happened. You know we're supposed to be sticking together." Her tone was playfully chiding, even though her eyes betrayed a startling level of concern.

  "Figured I should grab the opportunity by the throat." Danse answered after a moment of silent contemplation. 

  To his credit, Preston did attempt to keep his laughter under control. Vega grinned at her snickering lieutenant, patting his shoulder and then squinting at Danse. "You better watch it, Paladin. I'll have you written up for bullheaded heroics or something."

  "A fate worse than death." Danse replied dryly. "Though I'm afraid your report would fall on deaf ears."

  "Too true. You would probably be promoted to...double paladin, or whatever the next rank is for you." 

  "Knight sergeant."

  "What?! But paladin sounds way cooler!" Backhand protested indignantly while Preston started laughing all over again. "The whole point of moving up in the chain of command is to get a better name! Even I know that." She teased.

  Danse felt like he was back on the Prydwen attempting to educate a mess hall full of squires. "Well, I could be promoted to star paladin. But that's very unlikely." He explained. "They are exceptionally rare, akin to sentinels."

  " Star paladin?" Backhand looked like she was about to burst with curiosity. 

  "Yes. They are paladins who have been specially recognized for their dedication or ferocity in battle." 

  "Uh General, not to cut this short, but-" Preston began hurriedly, rechecking the levels on his undoubtedly finicky musket. 

  "Right, yeah, job to do." 

  Danse finally swung his rifle around, doing a quick run-through of all the switches before he turned on the tact-light, beautifully illuminating the dust his demolition-style entry had stirred up. 

  He proceeded deeper into the facility, purposely taking point despite his unarmored head. Preston flanked him on the left while Backhand walked drag, their footsteps all but silent in the wake of the larger man's sabatons. "Remain vigilant." Danse cautioned.

  "D'you think there's anything else in here?" Preston whispered, "I feel like they would have come for us."

  "I've actually been in here before, last time the basement was flooded and there were mirelurks," Backhand muttered. "I was doing a favor for those 'bots at Graygarden."

  "No rest for the wicked when it comes to you, eh General?" Preston quipped.

  "Listen, I feel like making friends with the agriculturally-inclined robots is definitely a good strategy." She reasoned. "After all, they can work around the clock and everything!"

  Danse hushed the two of them, leading with the barrel of his rifle. The tact-light flickered as he continued their sweep, ears open for any signs of hostiles. 

  ...

  Backhand tapped at the compass of her Pip Boy, scrolling the compass display a full three hundred and sixty degrees. Her scroll jerked to a halt when two red ticks appeared, ahead and to the right.

  "Bogey at two o'clock." She whispered. Danse nodded grimly and Preston flipped the crank over to prime his musket. 

  Now Backhand could actually hear sounds, an odd snuffling and scraping noise. A hound, maybe?

  Danse clearly heard it as well, the man advancing into the next room and sweeping the corners with his rail-mounted flashlight.

  Something skittered by just outside the light, vanishing into a gap in the crumbling wall. Danse wordlessly stormed forward and with one brutal motion he rammed his gauntlet through the plaster and heaved out--

  A child?

  The paladin froze, one large metal hand wrapped around the leg of the waif he had just forcibly extracted. The little boy screamed and flailed in Danse's hold, tiny fists beating a tattoo on the gauntlet that suspended him upside down in midair. He was filthy , clad in a dingy pair of overalls. He had a cut over his right eye, possibly from Danse's speedy removal.

  For the barest, heartbreaking second, Backhand thought that it was Shaun. But no, no, she was imagining things. 

  "Whoa, easy there." She breathed, trying to get her heart to stop hammering. Danse still hadn't moved. "Hey, hey hey, look at me." She caught one of the child's arms, easily dodging the bite he aimed at her hand. " Easy big fella', we aren't going to hurt you." Backhand soothed, "you're okay. Were you hiding from the muties?"

  "Big d-d-dog tried t-to eat m-m-me." The little boy hiccupped, changing his tune instantly and clinging to her arm as Danse carefully, carefully set him down. "H-Hid in the wall. M-My mama, she told me not t-to wander off, b-b-but it got dark and I g-got lost." he sobbed, rubbing his eyes. 

  Backhand reached into her satchel and pulled out Sergeant Cathan's 'lucky' bandanna. With gentle precision she wrapped it around the little boy's hand, knotting it at his wrist. "I need you to do me a favor, okay?" She asked seriously. "I need you to hold onto this bandanna for me. It's lucky, but only if you're holding it super tight. Can you make sure we stay lucky?"

  The child frowned after a moment, sniffling and then gripping down on the bandanna. Backhand heaved a mental sigh of relief, thankful that the distraction tactic had worked. Sometimes she couldn't get her target to buy into the grift; it was always a gamble. Sergeant Cathan had taught her (long ago and far away now) the benefits of implication, suggestion and placebo effects on survivors. She had carried the 'lucky' bandanna since her honorable discharge, it being one of the few possessions she had refused to relinquish even while being sealed in cryogenic stasis. It made her feel a little warm inside to be able to use it's so-called powers for good once more.

  " It doesn't have to be real. It doesn't have to be lucky, or important, or special in any way ." The sergeant had informed her when he explained the trick of distraction. " All it needs is belief, Backhand. That's it. If you can get them to believe in it, the hard part is already over ." 

  "Okay kiddo, how about we bring you back outside?" Preston cajoled gently with a smile. "You want something to eat?" The little boy nodded furiously, his eyes wide in the glow of Danse's rail-light. "Alright, take my hand. You're gonna' be just fine." 

  A loud howl echoed down the hallway and Danse jerked to attention, his rifle snapping upwards. "Go, get out!" He demanded Preston, "pick up the child and go! Knight Vega, on my six, now! " He barked.

  Backhand thanked God that Preston was the type to help first and ask questions later, the young man easily scooping the little boy up in his arms and ducking out in the direction of the foyer. Danse shone his light back down the hallway, illuminating a hound so old its green skin had gone gunmetal gray. It sampled the air and bayed hoarsely, milky eyes staring ahead. It was ancient, obviously blind, possibly deaf-

  Danse pulled his trigger once, and then a second time for good measure. Backhand noticed that his hands were shaking as he straightened up. He strode forward to the end of the hall, shoving the dog's body aside without so much as looking at it.

  Backhand looked down at her compass, scrolling it this way and that. But it was empty, no signatures reading on it whatsoever. "Paladin, I think that's it." She said, holding her arm up so he could see her use the compass.

  Danse nodded in an absent manner, still looking down the hall and running his light over the walls around him. 

  "We should get back outside. Make sure Preston and that kiddo are okay." Backhand suggested gently.

  "I could have killed that child."

  Ah . Backhand understood why his hands were trembling now. She let him carry on with his double-check, giving him the time he needed to decide whether he would say more.

  "I...I could have…" Backhand heard him swallow, the noise loud in the silence. " Christ , Vega. I'm not setting a very good example for you, am I. We were almost killed by a behemoth due to my own inattention, I had to jettison my power armor, my helmet is unsalvageable , and I very nearly slaughtered a lost child."

  "It's been a hell of a shakedown campaign." Backhand agreed, pushing the glasses up on her nose. "Imagine the trouble we could get into if we keep sticking together." 

  Danse's laughter was a grim bark of a noise, the paladin nodding his head ruefully. "Just imagine. If I keep up my trajectory, the Commonwealth will be in flames by tomorrow morning."

  Backhand placed a wary hand on his gauntlet, fingers grazing the worn red-orange paint that denoted his rank. " Or it'll be a better place." She reasoned, patting his arm and turning on her heel. "Now, c'mon. We've got a little one to return to his parents." She urged, waving the paladin on.

  Preston had made it safely outside, the man still cradling the child as Backhand emerged from the double doors onto the front steps of the establishment. He raised his brows in question. 

  "There was an old hound, probably too old to hunt anymore. Blind." Backhand explained, sliding her satchel around and digging through it until her fingers brushed the plastic-wrapped snack. "Ah, here we go. You must be hungry, right slugger?" She asked the little boy, extracting the snack cake from her bag and waving it to catch his attention. "How about you munch on this until we get back to Oberland, and then my friend Preston will see about finding your parents. That sound good to you?"

  The boy nodded, still sniffling but eagerly accepting the pre-war confection. 

  "You still got that bandanna? I know you must have held onto it real tight, because that hound didn't even know we were there!" Backhand praised with a grin, thrilled when the child gave her a weak smile in return.

  Danse emerged from the building, towering over the trio in his armor. "It seems that beast was the last holdout." He said finally, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "Have you checked the child for injuries?"

  The cut over the little boy's eye had already stopped bleeding, and aside from a few minor scrapes and bruises he appeared to be fine. Obviously his largest issues were being lost and hungry. Preston continued to hold the child while Backhand cleaned the dried blood off his forehead, well aware of the eyes trained on her. "There. You'll be just fine." She assured the boy, barely resisting the urge to kiss the bandage and instead kissing her fingertips to press against the bandage. After all, she wasn't this kid's mom. 

  "A-Are you the Minutemen?" The little boy asked after a moment of hesitation. "My papa said you guys help people."

  "We are! Good guess." Preston praised, adjusting his hold on the kid so he could tip his hat. " There at a minute's notice , or that's the idea anyway." 

  "Let's move out. The sooner we get to Oberland, the sooner you can broadcast your APB on him." Vega adjusted her satchel and began carefully picking her way back through the flooded area, boots sloshing in the water. "What's your name, wall boy?"

  "Matt." The child replied through a mouthful of cake. "Mat'ew Amadeus O'Brian."

  Backhand blinked, a little stunned at the elaborate name that the kid had rattled off. "Well, Matthew Amadeus O'Brian , my name is Elizabeth Backhand Vega, and the nice man being your legs right now is Preston Garvey." She hooked a thumb over her shoulder, indicating the silent paladin who was bringing up the rear of their little party. "The big one is Paladin Danse."

  "He's big," Matt repeated, watching the paladin narrowly before tacking on, "An' scary ."

  "He's not really scary, but it's easy to think that." Backhand could almost feel Danse growing more and more tense. "He's sorry for surprising you earlier, I promise!" 

  Matt's eyes stayed suspiciously squinted at the paladin, the little boy continuing to inhale the snack cake. "Are you sure? " He asked in a stage whisper. "'Cuz he looks angry. Like how my papa looks when he says I'm bein' too os'servant ."

  Preston snickered at that. "You must be real observant then, if your folks are scolding you for it."

  Matt puffed out his chest a bit, stating proudly that, "My mama says I've got good eyes and nothin' between them. Then, she laughs."

  Danse made a choking noise, the large man obviously attempting to stifle his mirth. "Your mother sounds immensely charitable." He remarked, a faint smile playing across his mouth.

  The little boy looked befuddled for a moment, pursing his lips. "I 'unno what that means, but I love my mama. So that better not be somethin' nasty." Clearly, the child had recovered some of his original pep, no doubt aided by the copious amounts of sugar in that snack cake. "Otherwise I'll kick your butt." 

  "Whoa now, language." Preston chided gently.

  "He started it!" Matthew protested, "callin' my mama some...carrot, carrotible ."

  " Charitable . It means good, kind. Even when you don't have to be." Backhand laughed as she explained, watching the realization dawn on the kid.

  "Oh. Okay then. That's fine." The child allowed, "as long as it's nothin' bad."

  ...

  Danse wiped the sweat from his brow, hammering the last nail into place. There . With the metal scrap and lumber they had salvaged from the area surrounding the station, Danse actually managed to cobble together a half perimeter fence that was a bit more fortified than the old chain link lining the once-uniform garden. It wasn't anything incredible , but it wouldn't fall over at the next stiff breeze. 

  Upon their arrival, Knight Vega had sat Matt down by the old pump out front of the station and carefully scrubbed the rest of the child's face clean. The boy somehow managed to keep up a constant stream of chatter even as he was being scoured to within an inch of his life. Danse knew he ought to find it irritating, as his entire military career he had been taught that squires should be seen and not heard, but instead he found it oddly endearing. 

  Preston had eventually managed to raise the Castle (or rather, Fort Independence), the Minuteman relaying the information that they had acquired a precocious young man by the name of Matthew Amadeus O'Brian. 

  Preston and Backhand had kept busy in the aforementioned garden for most of the day, tearing up weeds and tilling the soil. The two had an easy rapport, going back and forth on a variety of topics. Matt occasionally chimed in around a mouthful of almost gone-by tato, the child more than eager to assist in the stripping and demolishing of the plants.

  Danse had half-listened to their chatter while he engaged wholeheartedly in building the defenses up as best as he could, wanting desperately to make himself useful even as he soaked up the conversation. Agriculture had never been his strong suit. Coming from the Capital Wasteland, he was incredibly leery of any produce borne of the radiation-rich soil. He certainly didn't eat any of it without properly preparing it. This led to less adventurous but also less dangerous meals, the vegetables usually gray and tasteless from their time in the pot of his mess kit.

  Danse took a step back to admire his handiwork. It had been too long since he was able to actually devote the time to a task that it required, instead of just smashing resources together and hoping they held. He knew it was technically a fence made out of the refuse of the area, nothing to be proud of, but he relished the opportunity to craft something useful.

  He heard a low whistle from behind him and realized that Preston was looking up at the fortifications, a massive grin on his face. "Damn, we could have used you at the Castle!" The Minuteman commented, clapping a hand on Danse's shoulder. "You got the place squared away in half the time, color me impressed."

  "Being able to find or create a defensible position is a necessary skill for field ops. You never know when you may need to bivouac in less than hospitable territory." Danse knew he must sound unbearably stiff, and he grimaced inwardly at his casual usage of the word bivouac . That had been something from Cutler's verbiage. "This wall should function optimally, but it can always be improved upon."

  "I appreciate it. The Minutemen thank you for your assistance." Preston said warmly, his hand squeezing Danse's shoulder gently before he turned back towards the garden. "General, we should probably break for dinner! I know you two will be leavin' early tomorrow, wouldn't want you to be overtired." He called to Backhand, who tossed him a thumbs-up.

  Danse opened his mouth, hesitated, and then carefully stated, "if we stay another day, I may be able to erect something for the lower side of the hill. It won't be as tall as this, but as it's the lower hillside, inhabitants will have a better chance of spotting the enemy and preparing."

  Preston's eyebrows shot up. "You'd do that for us? I'd be incredibly grateful, I'll be honest. We're spread so thin, I'm probably only going to have one armed individual to assign to this outpost. Whatever help you can give-"

  "Only one?" Danse looked at the copious tilled soil, his brow furrowed in thought. "You may have too many resources here for you to defend them with just one gun and a wall of scrap, Lieutenant Garvey."

  "At the moment, the only resource is the water pump. I'm hopin' by the time the crops pop, we'll be a little fatter in our ranks. If not, well, I'm always up for extra field duty." Preston drew a finger along the brim of his large hat, sighing. "Nobody said it would be easy, y'know?"

  Danse nodded. He knew overwell the disproportionate work load that a commander must shoulder in exchange for the safety and stability of their regiment.

  After a hearty supper of some of the remaining tatos (safely over-stewed to within an inch of their lives), canned beans and fresh-last-week bread that Preston had brought with him, Danse took up his post along the defenses he had built. His armor creaked a little louder than normal, but he supposed that was to be expected after the beating it had taken.

  Backhand had been quiet during their dinner. He assumed she was simply tired. He could hardly blame her; it had been a very eventful few days. 

  Danse bit his lip. He knew he ought to be rushing back to the Prydwen, but he felt an odd sense of responsibility for this new development. After all , he reasoned, what better way to win hearts and minds for the Brotherhood? Showing that they were benevolent, willing to work with existing factions regardless of their differences…

  Well, at least Danse was at any rate. And with a little luck, his obviously-high rank would convince the battered survivors of post-apocalyptic New England that the whole of the Brotherhood was here to help.

  Possibly in spite of Maxson's lofty aspirations for wiping out the Institute. What good was it to remove the proverbial boogeyman of the Commonwealth if the Brotherhood's resources were stripped from the campaign? The more prudent option would be to gain the trust of the locals, and then press them for support should the need arise. 

  That was all he was doing. Gaining the trust of the locals.

  He glanced up at the light that wavered in the window of the towering station. He could imagine Knight Vega tucking the little boy in, maybe pressing a kiss to his forehead…

  Danse's heart ached. She had lost her son, he recalled, though she hadn't said how . He couldn't even begin to imagine the agony of losing a child. Losing Cutler was devastating enough.

  When Vega came out to relieve him at two hundred hours, Danse noted that she still looked worn. Her eyes were puffy, like she had been crying. "Tell me about what happened to your son, Knight." He requested quietly. 

  "That's...it's kind of a long story, Paladin." She tried to brush him off, fiddling with her combat armor straps. "You should sleep."

  "That's an order, Knight."

  Vega hiccupped, her sob rattling Danse's composure. "The Institute. They...they ripped him right out of my arms in the Vault." She whispered. "The stasis was put on hold, somehow , and they just...they took him. The next thing I knew, I was waking up alone." She stared at the ground. "I know it was the Institute. I know there's a way in. But I don't know...God, Danse, what if he's dead? " She asked helplessly.

  Even though he hadn’t known, Danse still felt like a bastard for making her relive that horror. She had been so sure before, so certain that her child was alive. But now for whatever reason, she was entertaining the alternative and Danse was lost . What the hell could he even say?

  "You didn't let me give up on Paladin Brandis." He pointed out. "So I'm not letting you give up on your son."

  "Is that an order, sir?"

  "A promise , Knight, not an order." Danse saluted her sharply, his gauntlet clattering on his breastplate. "As a Brotherhood of Steel paladin, I swear to you that I will do all I can to help uncover the truth of what happened to your son. And for as long as feasibly possible, we will operate under the assumption that he is alive and well. If we give in to despair, then they've already won."

  Backhand looked up at him, her expression distraught. Danse didn't expect her to wrap her arms around his armor, the woman barely able to reach past his sides due to the bulky frame. She tucked her face against the handles on his breastplate and Danse was terrified of making the wrong move. So he stayed still, one massive gauntlet eventually moving forward to cautiously rest on her back. 

  "We will find him." He assured her softly. "I promise."

Part Seven

[shadowthrone-ammanas]

Prompt: Although powerful, The Snatcher still cannot use his powers forever. Unfortunately for him, his contractually obligated BFF wants to know the extent of his shapeshifting. Hopefully he doesn’t get stuck.

Thank you for the request! Also, 2 drabbles in one day because I wanted to and because I suddenly got 4 more requests today (yesterday by the time this posts, technically yesterday for me too because it’s 2am) one of which is the other drabble I just posted because I was hyped for it. So I wanted to make up a little ground on the massive amount of requests I have in my inbox. Also just because I was looking forward to writing this one today so I did.

Shapeshifting

According to Snatcher’s innate sense of time as well as his pocket watch, it as officially midnight now. Meaning everyone else on the ship except for the night crew should be asleep now so it was safe for him to come out.

He slid out through the cracks in the box, landing in him in the cargo bay. The doors out were locked of course but that was no problem for him. On the other side, he shifted his form to disguise himself as an owl. He’d have preferred to disguise as one of the crew but while he could mimic the seals’ shape, he was still a ghost and thus could only turn himself various shades of purple. So he had to make do with an owl shape and large coat with hood to cover himself.

The moon was full and bright when he finally made his way to the top deck and out into fresh air. The stars were pretty too of course. It had been a long time since he’d been away from the forest and seen the night sky like this… he should really try to do that more. Though it probably wasn’t smart; if Vanessa decided to attack while he was away… She probably wouldn’t, her attacks were few and far between and her most recent attempt was only a couple years ago. So it was probably fine and thus he could enjoy himself.

Except not even five minutes after he’d settled in one of the abandoned lawn chairs to look up at the sky, he sensed someone approaching. He glanced that way and… it was Hat Kid. Of course it was her, who else was insane enough to be up and about after midnight. He glanced away, pretending he wasn’t aware of her.

Thankfully she went right by him. … Or at least for a bit she did because she turned around and came right back after only getting a few feet away. As she stepped up right beside his chair, he pulled his hood down over his face in an attempt to hide his ghostly features. The owls had a tendency to be very anxious, hopefully she’d attribute his behaviour to a stronger version of that.

“Hello?” she said.

“U-uh hi kid,” he replied, perfectly mimicking an owl, layering on the anxiety a bit thicker than normal. He just wanted to be left alone, why was that so much to ask? “W-what are you… doing up so l-late?” That wasn’t too much, was it?

“I’m looking for a friend of mine. I figured he’d probably only come out when it’s dark because he’s a big old grump who doesn’t like people and he snuck abroad illegally.”

“W-well I haven’t seen him so…”

“I don’t need your help finding him because I already have, right Snatcher?” Damn it! “I saw your eyes before you covered them when you glanced my way as I approached. I was already suspecting it was you anyway because I knew you’d be out her tonight. I just wanted to mess with you a little. Your acting is very good though. You should talk to one or both of the directors about getting a role in a movie one day.”

Snatcher sighed as he gave up hiding his face and pulled his hood back up to look at her. “You found me, congrats,” he said in his normal voice but quieter in case anyone else was nearby who might hear.

She smiled at him. “You want to play a game?”

“No, I want you to leave me alone.” Which probably wasn’t going to happen but he could try, right?

“But I want to play.” She pouted at him as if that would ever sway him. “What if I blackmailed you into playing with me? I’ll tell the Captain about you and where to find you and then you’ll be in trouble.”

“You are aware right that I can just kill him if he tries to kick me off or anything else, right?”

“Yep, but you don’t want to bother with all that because then you’re going to have to deal with the whole crew and everyone else on the ship reacting to you in some way. And I know for a fact that at least all the seals would attack you, they’re too loyal to the Captain to not back him up in things. So instead of dealing with all that you can put up with playing with me for a few hours instead, how’s that sound?”

Would she really risk that though? … If it were anyone other than her, he’d have bet on this being a bluff but she was insane, unpredictable even, borderline feral. So… she might be willing to risk the lives of everyone on board in order to get him to play with her. Meaning he had a choice to make, say ‘no’ and deal with all that nonsense, ruining the vacation, or say ‘yes’ and play with her for a few hours.

With a sigh he stood up and discard the coat before morphing to be a clone of her. “Fine, I’ll play with you.” Hopefully the late hour would result in her getting sleepy soon so he wouldn’t have to up with her for long.

“Yes! I knew you’d see reason.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. What game do you want to play?” If it was anything too obnoxious, he’d refuse, peck the consequences.

��Hmm…” Hat Kid lifted hand to tap a finger to her chin in an exaggerated thinking pose. “I was planning on asking you to play ball with me but seeing you shapeshift like that has got me wondering just how much you can shapeshift.”

“That’s not a game.”

“We can make it a game though. We can play with the ball and every time you catch it you have to morph into a new shape, if you repeat one or don’t change, you lose and have to say something nice about me. I lose if I have to use any of my hats to catch the ball and then I have to say something nice about you before leaving you alone to be your grumpy old self. We can change the specifics of the game if we get bored. Sound like fun?”

What would happen if he won sure did, otherwise, no. But if he won fast, it’d be not a problem at all so… “All right fine.”

“Good! And no cheating otherwise you lose by default and we have to play something else after you say something nice about me. Cheating includes, throwing the ball overboard or anywhere that’s impossible for me to catch it, okay?” Well there went that plan.

Oh well, he’d just have to beat her fair and square, it couldn’t be that hard, could it? “Fine, just go get a stupid ball to play with already so we can get this over with.” He wanted to get back to relaxing and doing nothing.

Hat Kid smiled at him before running off. She returned with a purple bouncy ball that had his face on it, she was holding it as if to make sure he saw it. He almost asked her where she got it from but didn’t, mostly because that’s clearly what she wanted but also because he wasn’t in the mood and really didn’t care. He’d find out on his own time later and sue the pants off them for using his likeness without permission.

She tossed it at him and he caught it, morphing into a likeness of Mustache Girl as he did so. This was going to be easy.

 -

Except it wasn’t easy, not as a whole anyway. At the start it was because there were plenty of people he could morph into and just catching the ball was simple. He started running out of people to turn into after a short while though and had to think fast for something new each time the ball was thrown his way. One time he even morphed into a likeness of himself when he was alive, cringing internally as he did so and hating it.

After that was when he really started trying hard to beat her. He was not going to lose to her at a children’s game of catch that eventually turned into basically volleyball, with a pool between them instead of a net. Another reason he was so eager to win though was because shapeshifting was one of the more taxing forms of magic. It took a lot of energy to shift one’s entire shape into something new, especially so quickly. And the more he did it in rapid succession, the more it seemed to take out of him.

Eventually he had the thought to start morphing into fictional beings which saved him and opened a whole slew of new options. That there was no way he had enough energy to last long enough to get through. He needed to win now.

The ball was coming his way. He tried to morph as he moved towards it but… nope, he was out of energy. Instead he stumbled and lost balance, faceplanting into the deck instead. That’s part of the reason he hated walking around on legs, too easy to trip and fall. The ball hit on the head a second later, adding insult to injury. The only thing more humiliating than this moment was when he’d lost to Hat Kid after taking two EX potions. … Ugh, why did all his most humiliating moments involve Hat Kid?

He looked up as the sound of Hat Kid running around to him. She looked… concerned? “Are you okay?” she asked upon reaching him.

He groaned. “You won, please leave me alone now.”

“You fell and aren’t moving anymore, so no, I’m not leaving until you I know you’re okay.”

“I’m fine kid,” he said as he finally pushed himself upright. “I’m just out of energy.” He should not have agreed to that game. If he’d known it would’ve dragged on for about the hour or so it did, he wouldn’t have. “Shapeshifting isn’t easy to do.”

“Oh, sorry but… that means you’ll be okay with some rest?”

“Yes, now leave me be.”

“Still nope, you lost so you have to say something nice to me now. Also, I want to know what your shifted into because you’re adorable.”

Giving into her demands would probably be the quickest way to get rid of her. What could he possibly say that was nice about her though? … “Your top hat is decent as far as top hats worn by feral alien children go.”

“Well… I was hoping for something different but… thank you, I guess.”

“As for what my current form is, it’s Stitch from the movie Lilo and Stitch.” He’d chosen it at random but with Hat Kid being an alien, it was a fitting form to take.

“You’re going to have show me that movie later if it has something as cute as you are now in it. But are you stuck like that? I assume you are because otherwise you would’ve gone back to your normal shape by now, right?”

“Yes, I’m currently stuck and its your fault. So please just leave me alone now.” If he ate the soul of one of the passengers would anyone notice? That’d be the quickest way to regain his strength, he could use his current cuteness to disarm them too.

“Hmm… okay. But you want to go back into my room and rest for a bit. Since you’re like that, we could say you’re my pet, right? Since you look a lot like an animal. That way you don’t have to hide and stuff and no one should care that you didn’t buy a ticket.” That was fitting in a way she didn’t even understand.

“No, thanks. Just let me rest out here.” He’d slink back to his box later when the sun started getting close to rising. Until then he wanted to go back to staring up at the night sky.

“Uh… all right. But sorry about this, I didn’t know it would happen. I wouldn’t have forced you to do it if I had. So… see you later.” She patted him on the head before collecting the ball and finally running off.

For this drabble event.

[rueoconghaile]

( HOZIER, 30, CISMALE ) I just bumped into [ RUADHÁN “RUE” O’CONGHAILE ] the other day while walking down [ SOUTH ] Kingsboro, where [ HE/HIM ] live. I hear they can be [ GOOD-NATURED ] and [ CLUMSY ], but when I think of them I immediately think about [ THE SUN SHINING THROUGH STAINED GLASS, THE SMELL OF IRISH WILDFLOWERS AFTER THE RAIN, ACCIDENTALLY WATCHING THE SUN COME UP BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVEN’T SLEPT  ] ( ella again xx )

hi hello i’m sorry i haven’t shut up about this character in like two weeks but he’s so worth the wait i promise. however, that being said, please proceed with caution. i’ll list all of the trigger warnings as they come up but there’s a lot of heavy stuff in here so just be safe ily okay here we go. ps im sorry this got so long

born in middle-of-nowhere, ireland, rue didn’t have the best childhood. his mother, apparently a wealthy socialite from england, had no interest in being a mother. his father, her husband at the time, begged her to let him keep the baby, and they’d get a divorce so she’d never have to see either of them again. she agreed, and took off, leaving rue to be raised by his dad. his mother was more than generous in the divorce settlement, making sure his father had more than enough to care for the child and live a luxurious life. while he wishes he could have met her, rue has no hard feelings towards his mother. 

{ tw: abuse } rue’s father was his best friend. they did everything together, and as a kid, that’s all he could have asked for. sure, it wasn’t perfect, but no dads are perfect, right? in truth, it was far from perfect. for most of his life, rue was in denial about the underlying emotional and mental abuse he suffered at the hands of his father. his father used him, manipulating him and crushing him until he fit this perfect little role his father had designed for him. it was rarely physical, and when it was, it was rue’s fault. he was clumsy and loud, always making noise or breaking things. in fact, most of it was rue’s fault, in his mind. his father’s mood swings, the borderline-obsessive controlling behaviour, the constant belittling comments, only to be outshone by the rare positive one. of course, none of this was actually his fault, but he was just a kid. he assumed that if his father didn’t love him, he had to be better. 

{ tw: homophobia } and then rue was fifteen, falling in love with the world. he quickly learned that if he played his music well, people would be nice to him, and like him. and in one particular case, like like him. he sat next to rue in his english class and had the nicest smile. he was in love, or at least, as in love as he could be at fifteen. and it seemed, for a moment, that he wasn’t the only one. they kept their relationship a secret, their extremely religious town not known for being accepting. they talked about running away together one day, starting over in the big city. and one day came, when the local priest caught them kissing behind the library after mass one sunday. he, of course, went straight to rue’s father.

{ tw: abuse } despite their rocky relationship, not even rue could have predicted his father’s response. upon hearing the now-public news that his teenage son had been caught kissing another boy, his father drank. and drank. waiting for rue to come home, waiting to confront him. even though rue had begun to grow into his height, he had always been a lanky kid who avoided confrontation at all costs. meaning when his father took the first swing, he couldn’t fight back. looking back, he didn’t even know if he would have, had he the chance. 

bruised and bloodied, rue packed a bag and grabbed his guitar, ready to take his love on the road. they’d always talked about running away, why not now? having nothing and being in love was better than staying here in his comfortable life, and he really didn’t want to go back in the closet. his love didn’t feel the same though, publicly denying they were anything beyond classmates. heartbroken, rue left without him, moving to dublin with only what he could carry. 

dublin was good to him, though. he got a job in the kitchen of a dive bar who didn’t ask questions and sometimes let him play on stage if things were quiet. they had an unspoken agreement, they’d look the other way on his age if he showed up and kept his head down and didn’t cause any problems. he lived on the streets for a few years, a wild change from his comfortable upbringing. at first it was just for the money, he couldn’t afford a flat on his own and didn’t know anyone he could live with, but then he actually came to enjoy it. yeah, it was hard, especially in the winters, but the other kids his age on the street were good kids, if troublesome. they all took care of each other, a new family when their own had cast them out. 

that’s where he met her. elizabeth. he was nineteen and had just been promoted to line cook at the bar, she was eighteen and her family had just moved to dublin from denmark. despite the fact that she liked to run on the wild side and hang out on the streets, her family was incredible. they took him right into their home, giving him a place to live, as long as he agreed to go back to school. they even got him a tutor to help with his learning disabilities. as he and their daughter fell more and more in love, they adopted him wholeheartedly into their family, and eventually, rue actually enrolled in college. 

{ tw: abuse } they stayed in dublin for school but moved out of her parent’s house and into their own flat. that’s when things started to spiral in their relationship. elizabeth became overly jealous and controlling, checking his phone multiple times a day, insisting on walking him to and from classes and work. she never had any reason to worry, he was so in love with her it was if no one else in the world existed. to rue, who had been raised so deeply in emotional and mental abuse, this was normal. this was how people showed their love. he didn’t know any better. it was broken and fucked up and extremely toxic, but it was theirs, and he loved her.

{ tw: terminal illness } rue did whatever he could to excuse her behaviour, letting her cut him off from everyone in her life, including her own parents. he even turned a blind eye to the way she checked his phone constantly but always hid hers. that was, until his father got sick. he had been away from home for about five years at that point, and it wasn’t until his father reached out that he even knew he was sick. rue had found himself a comfortable little job caring for animals at a wildlife rehabilitation facility on the outskirts of the city, and while it didn’t pay much, it payed enough to move his father in with them. however, the man that came was not the same man who had raised him. he was a shell of a man, sickness eating away at him until he could barely move. his father had huntington’s, a rare degenerative brain disease that would essentially turn his father into a vegetable until he died an early death. they didn’t know how much longer he had, but it was likely only a few years. 

{ tw: death } to cope with his toxic relationship and the ever declining state of his father’s health, rue threw himself into his music. it was the release he needed, the only thing keeping him going. and it was working. for four years he managed to juggle work, his father’s care, and his music, and it was all about to pay off. he got a record deal at a pretty decent label based out of london. he’d only have to go for a few months, but that meant leaving his father in the care of his girlfriend. so, at the expense of the only dream he’s had, he turned it down. he told himself his life was better here, even going so far as to propose to his girlfriend. his father held on for two more years before he died due to complications of his illness. 

{ tw: terminal illness } even from beyond the grave, rue’s father found ways to ruin every part of him that tried to be happy. during a harmless, unrelated appointment with his doctor, he mentioned in conversation that his father had recently died due to complications from huntington’s. looking back, he is grateful that he did, as he learned that huntington’s is passed genetically. they started testing right away, but the results were not what they had hoped. while he currently showed no noticeable symptoms, rue was all but guaranteed to suffer the same fate. six months later, the tremors started.

{ tw: depression, abuse, cheating } suddenly faced with the idea of his own mortality, rue began to spiral into a deep depression, spending almost all of his time with the animals at work. they were the only things that kept him going, and his fiancée really didn’t like that. when her controlling, manipulative ways failed to force his attention back onto her, she began to seek it elsewhere, armed with his inheritance. his father had been smart with the large some of money he got in the divorce, and had tripled the amount by the time he died. she spent it partying, sleeping around, and spoiling her lovers. rue didn’t care, nothing mattered to him anymore. a year and a half after he got the news, she moved out of their apartment while he was at work. it took him three days to notice her gone. 

losing his fiancée was the best thing to happen to him, and he was suddenly free. nobody tried to control him, nobody cared where he was or who he was with. he began to slowly come out of his shell, enjoying what it was like to be twenty-seven and single for the first time in 8 years. finally able to explore his sexuality safely, rue really came into his own. of course, it wasn’t perfect. he ended up in his ex’s bed a few too many times for his own comfort, but he just couldn’t help himself. she always knew exactly how to push his buttons until he was putty in her hands.

{ tw: abandonment of a child } he thought it was just innocent fun, what exes do. then one evening he came home to a car seat on his doorstep. inside was a baby girl, only a few weeks old, and a note with his name on it. he recognized the handwriting before he even opened it, mentally counting the months since he’d last seen her and not liking the answer. it was definitely possible. even still, he took the baby to the hospital. after many unsuccessful attempts to contact his ex, both by himself, the hospital, and even her own family, rue now had a baby. he had never even wanted kids. 

even still, he loved her. more than he had ever loved anything. his ex had named the baby after herself, but he couldn’t bear to call her that. so, he adopted the nickname lizard, and it stuck. he wanted to give her a better life than he had, but in order to do that, he needed to start taking his health seriously. so, he packed everything up, and moved to new york city. he didn’t care much for the big city and wasn’t a fan of raising lizard without a backyard, but they had the best doctors to treat his disease and he had to try. 

he’s been in kingsboro for about two-ish years now, and has been raising lizard on his own. he works two jobs to support her, days at a wildlife clinic and nights as a bartender, and even then still tries to find time to perform his music as much as he can at bars and clubs around town. he’s multi-talented, skilled in a number of instruments allowing him to easily slot into any empty role. he hasn’t slept since lizard came around and his love like is disappointing, but he is a really good father, and would give his life for his daughter. and, even if it’s three bites and a kiss goodnight, he is home for dinner every single night, without fail. 

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Isak season rankings (so far)

I’ve seen people doing this, and while we wait for SKAM Austin to get renewed 🤞 I thought I’d rank the Isak seasons that are out so far, according to my personal preference. People who wanted to read my Matteo and Cris meta, this is the very short version of it. 

Warning: I am super critical in this ranking. If you’d rather read only compliments, don’t click the Read More. 

SKAM s3 – Isak: I don’t consider myself a Skam supremacist or whatever the term in vogue is these days. There are many things about Skam that I’m not happy with. I wasn’t really into the idea of the remakes at first, but when they started coming out I hoped that some of the stuff I had issues with in Skam was handled better in the remakes. That said… I never had issues with season 3. I think it’s as perfect a TV season as it can get. The writing, the acting, the music, the cinematography… Everything has a reason for being there and nothing got unresolved. I don’t feel Isak’s season needs “fixing.” A good remake of Isak’s season, for me, is one that takes what Skam did and flips it and does entirely different things with it, not one that aims to tell the same story with cosmetic changes here and there.

DRUCK s3 – Matteo: I’m not sure if Matteo’s season would be as high for me personally if it weren’t for David, tbh! I fell in love with David before I even knew his name was David. My main issues with Druck s3 are these: Druck put a lot of effort in adapting the original storyline to David and Matteo’s personalities, but I don’t see the same effort with the internalized homophobia storyline. I don’t think the writing is consistent there. I also didn’t like the way they hinted at Matteo having a MI, but never committed to it. In fact, I’m not even sure the writers think Matteo has a MI? When the writers have done interviews they’ve talked of Matteo as a “slacker-type” character, not a character with mental health issues. I also have really mixed emotions about the way David’s outing clip was scripted and shot. But overall I had so much fun watching the season, I love David, I love David and Matteo together, and I love a lot of the musical moments. And honestly, it’s amazing that the writers decided David’s movie was going to be Only Lovers Left Alive, built the whole character around that idea, and that single trait explains so much about how David views himself, Matteo and the world.

SKAM España s2 – Cris: If it weren’t for David’s existence, Cris’ season would have the second spot. My issues with Cris’ season are that I feel like the writers had a much firmer hand when adapting Eva’s season. With Eva, they seemed more confident about getting rid of iconic moments or putting their own spin on them. With Cris, I felt like the criticisms they got in Eva’s season about getting rid of iconic moments made them try and include them even when they didn’t make sense for Cris and Joana. I’m thinking specifically of using 21:21and the pool scene, which had no significance for Cris or Joana’s characters. I also thoroughly hate Lucas getting hate crimed, and yes, it was handled better than in other remakes, but still. I’m from Spain, so yes, I’m aware of the cultural reasons for doing it, and I still think it was unnecessary on every level. (I’ll probably write something longer on this, because I do want to get into the ~cultural reasons,~ but not right now.) The music isn’t amazing because the music licensing costs in Spain are more expensive, but it does affect my overall enjoyment when the use of music was one of the things I loved about Skam. I also think Skam España tried to keep every fandom satisfied, which led to a more scattered season. (That said, compared to Skam’s Sana season, the POV was tight as fuck.) I don’t like that Cris and Joana didn’t have a sex scene. I understand that Irene was a minor at the time, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that Skam and Druck delivered extremely beautiful, non objectified sex scenes, and Skam España didn’t. Now, for the good: aside from the moments I mentioned, Cris and Joana were fully their own characters, Cris isn’t Isak and had her own struggles and character flaws she had to overcome, same for Joana. Cris and Amira’s friendship is everything, and considering how other remakes have handled friendships between a LGBTI character and a character of color, it’s almost enough to declare Skam España the holy grail of remakes. Also, one of the reasons it’s sad that the focus on the girl squad moves to the boy squad for Isak’s season is that the squad is at its most supportive and loving of the main in Isak’s season. By contrast, Eva, Noora and Sana’s seasons are full of betrayal and infighting. It was really so gratifying to get to see the girl squad support and love Cris. I also really liked that it was almost two queer seasons in one, with Cris and Lucas having their own journeys on Youtube and the episodes, which sometimes converged. I also loved the exploration of Viri’s character. Loved the borderline PD awareness content on instagram, for me the only valid use of Minutt for Minutt by a remake. I’m aware of the elephant in the room I’m not mentioning, but I feel like if it hadn’t been for the actors going wild on social media, that scene would have been a non event. Which brings me to…

SKAM Italia s2 – Martino: I really liked Eva Brighi’s season and I was really looking forward to Skam Italia’s take on Isak’s season. I really liked Martino in season 1. Martino’s season opened with a very powerful, factual voiceover of queer Italian people calling into a helpline to set the tableau of what it means to be queer in Italy. And then… it just got off the rails, man. Now, I did finish season 2 (racial slur and all), but I’m not sure I would have if it hadn’t been the first remake of Isak’s season. First off, they switched the order of the seasons, but instead of doing their due diligence and keep developing the Eleonora and Edoardo relationship (like Skam España did), they simply sent Eleonora to the cornfield to avoid having to deal with it. Second, the Skam España writers forced a few Isak and Even elements on Cris and Joana that didn’t fit them… Bessegato forced plenty more elements that didn’t have any relevance to Martino and Niccoló onto them. The obvious network interference when it came to Martino and Niccolò’s intimate scenes. And when I say intimate, I don’t mean sexy sex sex scenes, I mean the scenes that in Skam were Isak and Even existing in their own bubble. In Skam Italia, these scenes were intruded upon by the boy squad again and again. I’m not sure whether the Skam Italia fandom realizes that the reason the Italian boy squad is so loved is because they had a much larger role in Martino’s season that infringed on Martino and Niccolò’s dynamic. Anyway, I thought the boy squad was gross, honestly. The way the volleyball scene was shot was less about Martino’s discomfort and more about close up shots of a 14-year old actress’ sweaty butt and crotch. And for my money, I can’t understand why keeping Francesco Centorame meant they absolutely couldn’t cast an actor of color to play Luca. People talk about wtFOCK using certain tropes for shock value, but can we talk about the way Skam Italia had Niccolò literally run around Milan naked and giggling for the viewer to see? It appears that Skam was too tactful only giving us a glimpse of Even’s bare ass leaving the hotel room. We really needed to sensationalize the whole event, or otherwise it would fly over our heads how serious Niccolò’s crisis was. And Bessegato’s instagram tantrum when called out on Niccolò randomly dropping a racial slur mid-conversation was just the cherry on top. Oh, and I also hated the inclusion of Martino’s mom, but that’s more personal, so I’ll leave it at me having an issue with that decision because of hugely personal reasons I won’t go into. (Edit: I forgot to say that Filippo’s Pride speech is one of the best remakes of that scene, if not the best so far.)

Didn’t finish:

SKAM France s3 – Lucas: Okay, so here’s my Skam France story. Unlike a not small part of the fandom, I did watch s1 shortly after it came out. Now, I love Eva and Isak on Skam, they are two of my very favorites. I didn’t like Emma or Lucas. However, I love Jonas Vasquez and I felt like Yann was the only phase 1 remake Jonas that really did Jonas V justice. Not Jonas A, not Giovanni G, not Marlon F. Yann. So I came into s3 not very interested in Lucas (or Eliott to be completely honest), but fully pumped to see my boy Yann be the supportive friend Jonas had been in Skam and Yann had been in s1 and s2. Folks… I ragequit Skam France the moment Yann abandoned Lucas in that bench. And yeah, it can be argued that, while they used that moment for shock value, they stuck the landing. I personally disagree, the damage was done there, but it can be argued. Anyway, that was the end of episode 6, and by then I knew I didn’t vibe with Lucas (hadn’t liked him since s1 as aforementioned), Eliott had done nothing to get me onboard, couldn’t care less about the girl squad being forced into the season through network mandate, hated Basile and the Daphné/Basile storyline, and was bored as hell of people fawning over Arthur when the character was as lacking in substance as Mahdi, but fandom never went crazy over Mahdi in the same way (fun fact! Despite Skam fandom being much larger than any remake fandom, there were never essays about how great Sacha’s acting was, how carefully constructed his character, there weren’t people fighting for Mahdi-related usernames… I could go on). I simply can’t understand how the writers came up with the whole Polaris thing and then dropped it entirely after episode 4, and didn’t bother coming up with a twist on that motif. (You know, like the R+J and Pretty Woman twist, or how Druck used the vampire motif, or how Skam España used the Dangerous Liaisons motif throughout the season.) Like… Instead of using an existing piece of media, they created one tailored to what they wanted to do, but they didn’t follow through with it? Almost completely wasted the potential of the Lucas/light/darkness symbolism/motif. And, as I’ve mentioned with Skam España, I realize that the music licensing costs for France are astronomical, but again it does affect my overall enjoyment of the show, and the piano music didn’t make up for it.

wtFOCK s3 — Robbe: I gave Skam France six episodes before I quit. By the middle of week 2 of wtfock I was already checked out. The decision to delay Sander’s intro just completely ruined the pacing and anticipation for me. The lack of a tight POV was another nail in the coffin. How utterly loathsome Moyo and Jens were in that first week and a half was another factor. The way they resolved the issue of Milan leaning in for the kiss with Robbe was yet another. The wtfock characters having no nuance (most of them have one character trait, the most any of them have is three) was another. Initially I quit watching because I thought I’d write episode by episode posts, and I wanted to keep my reactions fresh. So I just read the transcripts. And every single thing I read in those transcripts only served to prove I was right in dropping it.  But here’s one thing I liked! I liked the blurring of the fourth wall with the spray painting of the garbage truck and the garbage truck servicing Antwerp at the time the season aired. (I could draw a parallel between the garbage truck being the first motif the season deployed, and how the rest of the season turned out, and... well, I guess I just did.)

[punkscowardschampions]

Zelda & Zach

ihatemyguts: [Ready for a flimsy excuse to talk lmao] ihatemyguts: Question, would Lauren actually be 👍 or 👎 if I turn up to her stream? ihatemyguts: Couldn't tell inandout: ecstatic inandout: her 👚👕👖🧦 could come off inandout: it's hard to tell if she's joking ihatemyguts: I will 🏃 to 🧼 my 👀 ihatemyguts: and time my tip really well before that potential eventuality inandout: smart move inandout: people pleasing ihatemyguts: She was nice, funny ihatemyguts: no 💩 nosing but yeah, I'm not in a position to be picky inandout: she's good at the "older sister away at uni partying but still there for you" role ihatemyguts: do you have a real one? inandout: I've got a brother, he's older than her and less of a party animal ihatemyguts: Mine too ihatemyguts: he's not as old as her but first date @ 18 isn't far off the vibe inandout: Robbie would call that hella awkward inandout: but I don't think mine has had one yet at 21 inandout: unless it's with a 🤖 he created ihatemyguts: that would be as impressive as it is 😢 inandout: he only likes to flex academically impressive muscles inandout: and believes no girls are interested in that inandout: despite being at uni ihatemyguts: 💔 ihatemyguts: Bless inandout: Lauren would knock his head together with every dream girl of his he's surrounded by until it fell off inandout: I'm a pacifist though ihatemyguts: Brothers are stupid ihatemyguts: his 💭👸 might be the stereotype of a cheerleader that doesn't even exist ihatemyguts: just ⏳⌛️ inandout: wouldn't leave me shooketh to find out you're onto something inandout: he does watch Love Island ihatemyguts: 🧠 representation, man ihatemyguts: you do not always get the girl at the end and if you do, you'll have so little in common you should just put her back inandout: I had a mental image of him just forcing a girl back up onto these high shelves we have in our kitchen inandout: not today, honey ihatemyguts: 😂 ihatemyguts: if only people were shelvable ihatemyguts: keep 'em in storage 'til you're feeling 💯 inandout: + if I'm heroically expected to get her down, the stumbling block is that the 🍪🍬🍭 are kept up there ihatemyguts: she'll have to eat it all to save you right back inandout: a love story inandout: we need to pitch it to Netflix ihatemyguts: I have done so much research for this ihatemyguts: Robyn can write it ihatemyguts: Rich can DEMAND actually disabled actors, and Rosie can ask nicely inandout: you have to be the lead, then the viewers will be on edge of their seats when you eat the 🍪🍬🍭 ihatemyguts: Lauren might 👊 me for it inandout: the spotlight would give her a seizure ihatemyguts: Awh ihatemyguts: lucky teen dramas are so moodily lit ihatemyguts: think twilight not spring breakers inandout: so dark that everyone has to squint and give themselves a headache inandout: dizzying camera angles inandout: getting our own back one symptom at a time ihatemyguts: may have to 🔪🔪 someone to make 'em shit their pants ihatemyguts: but you can nominate your brother, that's cool inandout: let him come back as a 🤖 at the end ihatemyguts: how's his Arnie? inandout: hmmm inandout: borderline racist? inandout: but we're Jewish and he's Austrian, I don't think he'll come for us ihatemyguts: not gonna go zombie for that ihatemyguts: definitely free pass for life on all the racial jokes @ their expense inandout: the shortened life span will help make up for it too ihatemyguts: no 🤖 ending? ihatemyguts: 👎 inandout: abrupt fade to black inandout: hopefully ihatemyguts: Iconic ihatemyguts: see your vision inandout: much as lingering death rattle would be an epic punk band or album name ihatemyguts: 🤔 ihatemyguts: you're a frontman, right? inandout: self nominated ihatemyguts: I see it inandout: you're drums ihatemyguts: only if I get to be on a dramatic raised platform above you all at the back inandout: if you swear not to 🚿 us with 💩 ihatemyguts: it would bring the horror ihatemyguts: very Carrie ihatemyguts: but 🤞 inandout: very Slipknot ihatemyguts: I'm down for a mask situation inandout: I'm not 🥵 ihatemyguts: Valid ihatemyguts: but you're cute, people will wanna see you inandout: cute is 🐕🐩🐈 or 🐖🐑🐐🐄 inandout: we can't start an animal band unless you can talk to them and ask if they really want inandout: ...some kind of rockstar life ihatemyguts: True, Ozzy was NOT asking those 🦇 if they were about the fame inandout: and they became another casualty of inandout: sickening ihatemyguts: is that the deal ihatemyguts: my bowel has decided not to work so I get to speak to animals? ihatemyguts: 🤙 inandout: that's a 10 episode series pitch ihatemyguts: god knows there has to be a redeeming feature of a sick kid ihatemyguts: can't be an arsehole who's suffering, not relatable and not enjoyable -10/10 inandout: you can only be an arsehole if yours works inandout: hooray for me ihatemyguts: lucky ihatemyguts: don't wanna flex on you by sparking up, really inandout: can you drink? It's a no for me ihatemyguts: it's iffy ihatemyguts: like it's not great ihatemyguts: but if I don't get big sister at Uni levels, technically inandout: technically same, but who wouldn't wanna get to that level inandout: who's doing it for the taste? ihatemyguts: I personally LOVE the taste of rotting fruit inandout: I have no sense of smell and barely any of taste and even I know wine and beer are both bad inandout: maybe the first sip of spirits will change my life ihatemyguts: that's a dangerous game ihatemyguts: it's already supposedly scentless a lot of the time ihatemyguts: you'd get wasted real fast inandout: not a date then ihatemyguts: not for long ihatemyguts: 🏥 is a fave haunt obviously but not ideal, even for a 2nd date inandout: 3rd? ihatemyguts: s'one way to end up in bed ihatemyguts: sure inandout: kids at my school do keep asking me if I've ever hooked up in hospital inandout: that being my number 1 priority each time ihatemyguts: 🙄 ihatemyguts: like it's some cringy show mums would watch ihatemyguts: with the staff or with all the random hottie in their prime that are just roaming the corridors, yeah, alright inandout: + 🏥 = PICC  in case there weren't a high enough risk of getting caught or mild peril ihatemyguts: the thrill of it all ihatemyguts: worth being sick for all the steamy romance, honestly inandout: don't forget the nurses inandout: another fave topic of everyone in class ihatemyguts: yeah, the stress eating and shift work makes 'em 🔥🔥🔥 inandout: no 💐 allowed to keep the atmosphere romantic either ihatemyguts: 💔💔💔 ihatemyguts: sure your class is not concerned about the vibe inandout: well read inandout: they just wanna touch a boob inandout: which is a good song title ihatemyguts: with potential to make a b-side literally about 🍑 ihatemyguts: high🖐 inandout: hi-hat, drummer girl ihatemyguts: badumtss inandout: 🎤 drop ihatemyguts: 🙇👏 inandout: Lauren swears she'll keep her clothes on to play Breath of the Wild ihatemyguts: I'm honoured ihatemyguts: and not at all disappointed ihatemyguts: 😉 inandout: her wardrobe of onesies are incredible inandout: they'll cheer you back up inandout: 👽🤖🐛🐲🦕🦑 + more animals than you'd have time to chinwag with ihatemyguts: obviously, I need to see this to believe 🖖 inandout: like a 🦄 she has one of those too ihatemyguts: thanks for the inside scoop ihatemyguts: can pretend I'm fully psychic now ihatemyguts: get all those oddly specific requests out inandout: that'll spook her inandout: I'm for it ihatemyguts: 🔮🗣🐒 ihatemyguts: not trying too hard to compensate, AT ALL inandout: I hadn't seen the others before today inandout: that was cool ihatemyguts: For real? ihatemyguts: It seems like you all hang like all the time, from the outside creepin' in inandout: you heard the commander, we're not supposed to post pics or personal stuff ihatemyguts: still a weird rule ihatemyguts: like, I get it, online predators, poor defenseless baby disableds, not ideal ihatemyguts: if it was an IRL group, we wouldn't be going by quippy puns on our name badges inandout: [gives her his socials and Lauren is of course in his friends so she can add her too] inandout: I was gonna suggest a meet up but didn't wanna get shot down inandout: the point is, some of us can't get out and about inandout: hasn't passed me by ihatemyguts: that's true ihatemyguts: there has to be a way we can include everybody though, everybody that would possibly want to ihatemyguts: Christ, if we as a group can't think of accessibility solutions ihatemyguts: but my point is, drop you a 💬 if I have any 💡 inandout: @ Rich inandout: he'd figure it out ihatemyguts: right? ihatemyguts: not that I'm desperate for company but frankly ihatemyguts: no, it could be cool inandout: and she won't say, despite what I said about trading on her fame, but Lauren's anniversary is coming up inandout: she'll want company for that ihatemyguts: I don't know if I should know, and I know I'm not gonna ask her ihatemyguts: but it can't be a fun anniversary, anything we could do to make it less of a shit time ihatemyguts: why not inandout: you're in inandout: cool ihatemyguts: 👍 ihatemyguts: the social engagements I won't need to turn down for this ihatemyguts: busy 🐝 I ain't inandout: I wanna ask if you had loads of friends before inandout: it seems like you would ihatemyguts: Kinda ihatemyguts: and not everyone turned into total cunts either, not trying to be that tragic heroine ihatemyguts: awkward adjustment, mainly for me, I know but ihatemyguts: wish I had a cool illness, you know ihatemyguts: can't make 💩 work for me inandout: what's a cool one? ihatemyguts: there's no cool one to have, I know that, like, intelligently, I get it ihatemyguts: but at least if you've got a decent story or you aren't essentially shitting yourself to death as your quirky symptom, people are more into it ihatemyguts: it's stupid but inandout: something that makes you faint dramatically inandout: that'd be netflix worthy inandout: the harder the name is to pronounce, the better ihatemyguts: exactly, providing I do it gracefully and look pretty whilst doing it ihatemyguts: 'cos what's the point in this pain if I can't peddle it to the masses inandout: you could look pretty doing it ihatemyguts: oh yeah ihatemyguts: the glamour would be unreal 😂 inandout: 🍃 ihatemyguts: 📽 ihatemyguts: cinematic inandout: American Beauty and you're the plastic bag ihatemyguts: that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me ihatemyguts: okay, Katy Perry inandout: leave Robbie to do the 🐯 roar ihatemyguts: she's cute ihatemyguts: no offense to you but inandout: how many dates are you two going on? ihatemyguts: do her parents let her out of her house, legit ihatemyguts: 'cos that will change the answer a lot inandout: only for 🏥 inandout: but she'll wanna come to the meet up ihatemyguts: then, we'll have to go on loads of dates ihatemyguts: so I can convince them I'm very respectable and not at all contagious inandout: I know JRA sucks but they'd put her in a bubble if they could ihatemyguts: I get it but also ihatemyguts: stop ihatemyguts: actual case of how it's being dealt with making it worse, when I was in hospital, the first time ihatemyguts: there was this tiny kid, and his ma was like...just insane, which is understandable but, it weren't helping her or him inandout: she could outgrow it when she's 16, that'll shake them up ihatemyguts: serious? ihatemyguts: damn inandout: it happens inandout: that's the J inandout: for being a kid ihatemyguts: I had no idea ihatemyguts: like you stop growing and it stops fucking with you, basically? ihatemyguts: that's cool ihatemyguts: if it happens ihatemyguts: worst fucking false hope if it doesn't inandout: yep inandout: sweet or bittersweet 16 ihatemyguts: like 5 months, she said? inandout: I'm gonna go to the party inandout: you should come ihatemyguts: Yeah? ihatemyguts: you think she meant it ihatemyguts: you can tell me if it was just politeness 'cos she is inandout: loneliness inandout: but she likes us too ihatemyguts: how long have you been in the group? inandout: they gave me the info when I was 12 inandout: I didn't wanna use it then though inandout: last summer I decided to ihatemyguts: I feel you ihatemyguts: like, what should we have in common ihatemyguts: but that's actually like any friendship, you got sat next to them one day in class or they shared with you at break ihatemyguts: I was just being a dick about it inandout: there are those inandout: like fibro inandout: but the core group are cool ihatemyguts: Everyone was decent ihatemyguts: if you're a dick you just are, regardless of our shared experiences ihatemyguts: but that is more than I've got with some of my old friends, that's just facts, whether you wanna accept it or nah, you know inandout: yep, me and my 🤖 brother have nothing shared inandout: his DNA is fine ihatemyguts: how was that ihatemyguts: like, was he mad guilty and did you wanna stomp on his lungs a 🤏 bit inandout: some days inandout: but Lauren says I'm better looking than him so what else matters ihatemyguts: 😂 inandout: how's your brother doing with your 💩 life? ihatemyguts: He doesn't say a whole lot ihatemyguts: that was a thing pre 💩 life too so ihatemyguts: guess he gets to keep being mysterious and my illness feels the least invisible when I'm the only kid let out to the 🚽 multiple times a lesson ihatemyguts: 🤷 inandout: you could suggest home school inandout: Robbie's an expert, she'd do you a pro slideshow ihatemyguts: I already miss people inandout: okay, okay, we'll bring the first date forward inandout: I'll escort you to the party ihatemyguts: what's the dresscode? this is vital and I know she's already said inandout: 👑💎 ihatemyguts: Oh good, you'll look extra adorable ihatemyguts: it'll be the usual trial picking which tiara to wear but think I'll survive inandout: Maybe you can take her shopping for your first date ihatemyguts: 💡 idea I'll have to claim as my own inandout: 🙇 ihatemyguts: do any of you go to the same schools ihatemyguts: or are you meant to not know that, either inandout: I don't know where either R goes inandout: and I'd remember Lauren or Rich if they'd been at my school, I think ihatemyguts: I reckon ihatemyguts: shame ihatemyguts: not that I reckoned there'd be an underground network of secret disabled kids at mine but oh well inandout: there could be inandout: you didn't need to find out before ihatemyguts: True ihatemyguts: ⭐ not being the one though ihatemyguts: have to do some more subtle digging inandout: my school has some invisible and visibles besides me ihatemyguts: statistically, there's no chance I'm the only one inandout: most of the ones in our camp have mental health stuff though inandout: or dyslexia, ADHD etc ihatemyguts: hadn't even considered those kinds ihatemyguts: got a lot of studying to do ihatemyguts: that's how it feels ihatemyguts: I barely get what I've got, never mind the endless possibilities of how a human can be slightly fucked inandout: they tend to have their own forums anyway inandout: not that Rosie wouldn't welcome them with a sleepy hug ihatemyguts: ☺️ inandout: it's less 🏥💉🩸 I guess? inandout: sort of 💊 and 🗪 ihatemyguts: Definite crossovers but not fully the same deal ihatemyguts: I see my pharmacist so often we're on date ... ihatemyguts: dread to think inandout: people don't wanna feel like others don't understand them somewhere where they're going for solidarity inandout: or that they can't get a sentence in over all the rest that are being typed ihatemyguts: it is pretty nervewracking ihatemyguts: even if yours is decent inandout: I used to be a big lurker inandout: some days I still am inandout: Lauren will always fill up the gaps ihatemyguts: you need all types, I reckon inandout: same ihatemyguts: like families ihatemyguts: even the creepy uncle inandout: if I don't have one does that mean I'm destined to become him? ihatemyguts: only if your brother finds a cheerleader ihatemyguts: you're probably alright inandout: he could adopt Robbie and let her live cage free ihatemyguts: that was a bit creepy ihatemyguts: oh my god, it's started ihatemyguts: 👹 inandout: damn inandout: much to think about inandout: a life to reassess ihatemyguts: if you're actually going ihatemyguts: thanks ihatemyguts: for being cool inandout: you were cool first inandout: I didn't lead a revolution ihatemyguts: you had to be cool enough not to shoot it down inandout: I'm so cool I've fallen at the creepy uncle fashion hurdle inandout: can't get a 🧢 on without a haircut inandout: it's all about the 🧦 now ihatemyguts: you know how to paint a picture ihatemyguts: even though I can now stalk your socials in my own time inandout: easier to explain you than Lauren inandout: my friends at school were shook by her ihatemyguts: I can imagine ihatemyguts: she'd be happy with that though 😏 inandout: she was inandout: [posts a selfie with his best attempt at a creepy uncle aesthetic because I doubt I'm finding a gem like that from Finn] ihatemyguts: oh my god ihatemyguts: 👏 ihatemyguts: that would be fully #triggering, top marks inandout: ♟ your move inandout: wine mum or vodka aunt ihatemyguts: Oh, I have perfect wine mum clothes ihatemyguts: had very bad taste a few years back and the 👻 are hanging about ihatemyguts: hold on inandout: I can't make the baited breath comment twice in a day, that's too much inandout: and I know I did in group ihatemyguts: 💔 I'm not special enough inandout: come back tomorrow for new puns ihatemyguts: [selfie in Amma's weird little girl/suburban mom clothing 'cos was not a mood] ihatemyguts: are you sure? inandout: damn inandout: come back tomorrow for a new photo challenge ihatemyguts: alright ihatemyguts: you're on inandout: cool

[sepublic]

When Eda/Luz is Threatened...

           Okay, I know @novelist-becca already went over this in the past, but screw it, I’m in the mood to gush about Eda and Luz, so;

           It’s worth noting that there’s a pretty clear difference between how Eda reacts towards someone who threatens her, VS someone who threatens Luz. Tibbles and Lilith serve as pretty good control groups, given how they’ve interacted with Eda and Luz separately on a different basis, and Eda’s reaction to them in each scenario clearly differs…

           In Tibbles’ case- There isn’t any retaliation to begin with, at first! Yeah Eda hates his guts, but as soon as she gets her elixir, she and King just ditch him to his fate. Eda doesn’t even know that the Mud & Sundry stand is about to collapse on Tibbles when she leaves, so from her perspective, HER issue with getting the elixir is well and done- And that’s it! No need for revenge, Eda has no pragmatic quarrel with Tibbles, and it’s very practical of her as a result.

           …But when Tibbles threatens Luz, King, Willow, and Gus? When he tried to KILL them outright, whereas the last time, he just dressed King up in cute clothes? THEN Eda retaliates violently… Tibbles’ scheme is already ruined and she could easily steal his snails for herself, the kids and King are safe, Eda herself had no participation in Tibbles’ scheme… But the kids were threatened, and Eda goes out of her way to dump a bunch of crab-apples upon Tibbles, setting him up to be eaten alive by his own animals- She’s trying to kill him here, and honestly, I can’t blame her.

           Eda’s lax attitude towards Tibbles is also prevalent early in Really Small Problems; He’s apparently been trying to send her death threats, and even if that wasn’t Tibbles… Eda seems more concerned about Tibbles’ potential plot towards her, than actually getting back at him for past incidents. Even when she easily sees past Tibbles’ attempt to poison her, Eda just… Goes on with her day, doesn’t bother with Tibbles. She leaves him be, repeatedly spares him of her own volition- And so Tibbles pushes his luck when he targets Luz. THEN he only has himself to blame when Eda sets him up to die; If we never see Tibbles again after this, it’d be a safe assumption to say he actually gets killed off-screen because of Eda.

           All in all, Eda’s attitude towards Tibbles is incredibly lax- Yeah he’s a threat to her, yeah he’s annoying and despicable… But otherwise Eda only does what needs to be done, until Luz is threatened. This pairs well with her interactions with Lilith- Lilith is set to capture Eda… And obviously, Lilith doesn’t plan to actually kill Eda, Lilith thinks she’s helping Eda, and also they’re both sisters who –mostly- know one another… So yeah, that plays a role into Eda not feeling all too threatened nor preemptively defensive when Lilith is around. She lets Lilith into her space, doesn’t try to strike back in anticipation UNTIL Lilith messes up…

           And even then, Eda never actually aims to hurt Lilith! She goes out of her way to save her, and their duel in Covention was clearly treated as more of a fun spat than an actual attempt to hurt each other! Eda seemed to treat it that way at least, and when her curse is brought up, Lilith makes it clear again that, yes, she doesn’t actually mean to hurt Eda (even if she still does anyway by accident).

           But then Luz is captured, and… Well, Eda’s downright murderous attitude towards Lilith says more than enough. When she confronts her sister minutes before execution, Eda first mentions Lilith hurting LUZ above all-else, as if that’s more important to her than being cursed. And, I can see why- The curse happened years ago. Eda knows that Lilith has been trying to fix the curse, that much was made clear since Sense and Insensitivity at the latest. She obviously regrets what she did, and hey, it was only at EDA…

           But Luz didn’t deserve to be threatened. Luz didn’t deserve to almost die, whereas Lilith’s curse never physically harmed Eda, at least not in a direct sense. And it’s King vouching for Lilith by pointing out that she helped LUZ, that Eda then stops her attack- That, and to also not hurt King. Eda seems to care more about Lilith hurting her found family, and conversely, that means Eda is less than impressed by attempts to appease her; But attempts to make up by appeasing the ones she loves and helping them, THAT changes her tune!

           Which, one could perhaps get into speculation that maybe this relates to Eda perhaps not thinking very highly of herself… Or at the very least, she of course values her loved ones WAY more than she does herself, which doesn’t necessarily mean Eda has any low self-esteem! She definitely seems confident enough and it’s not exactly an illusion, but Eda’s own pride in herself could’ve partly stemmed as a survival tactic from the pain and ostracization of the curse by others, being persecuted by the Emperor’s Coven, etc. She does seem to genuinely believe what she says, Eda isn’t just saying it to fool herself- And while there are cracks in the façade here or there, they seem more standard insecurities, and not pointing to Eda making everything up.

           Really, you could go out and say that this evokes the attitude of Eda not really blaming people for being mad at her, even! She knows she’s mischievous and a troublemaker, a rascal who revels into it- She’s a pickpocket and well aware of it… Eda has a tendency to intentionally aggravate others, so she figures it’s not too personal if people hate her, because YEAH- If Eda met herself, she’d hate Eda too! It’s like Eda’s lowkey accepting and admitting her own flaws, or that in some scenarios, such as Tibbles in Hooty’s Moving Hassle- It isn’t meant to be anything personal besides individual gain and greed. It’s just someone trying to get by, even if it IS at the expense of someone else, but that’s about it. And even when Tibbles DOES try to get personal with Eda, again- She lets him be.

           Eda accepts that yeah, she IS a bit irritable and a mess, what about it? It is who she is, and HEY, she’s pretty empathetic, she can understand why people do things, she won’t hold a grudge… But when her own loved ones are threatened, that’s different, because they mean SO MUCH more to her! Not to mention Luz is a literal child and doesn’t deserve any attacks by whatever adult is targeting her… Eda’s willing to forgive and forget, but when it comes to Luz, hurting her apprentice/daughter is borderline unforgivable.

           Then we have people like Wrath; Eda seems like she could’ve initially humored his request to be his girlfriend for like, a day or two before she’d make it backfire on him… But then she notices Luz, who’s being physically harassed by Wrath, and she makes up her mind- If Luz has to put up with this danger and discomfort for even another second, and ploy or ruse to get by Wrath isn’t worth it! Eda will take him head-on, and even then… She makes it clear that her main concern is always Luz, she makes sure LUZ gets away from the Conformatorium, even at the risk of Eda’s self- It’s Luz who matters for Eda, it’s what happens to Luz that forms the basis of her priorities!

           We have Adegast, who Eda mostly knows as the creep who targeted Luz and held her hostage… And likewise, he had a LOT of those fake maps created, so who knows how many people he’d target, or already had? And how many of them are kids- These ‘Chosen One’ maps seem like they’d only work for the kind of young kid with that sort of imagination… So naturally, Eda doesn’t hesitate to kill Adegast by eating him alive, because hey, she can also get a snack out of it!

           There IS a bit of an exception in the Slitherbeast… However, the Slitherbeast isn’t some malicious adult- It’s literally just a wild animal, they don’t and usually can’t operate on our usual standards of morality. Not only that, but the Slitherbeast didn’t go out of its way to hurt Luz, it ony retaliated when she wounded it with a pretty huge fireball- And even then, it didn’t actually hurt Luz, it only succeeded in kidnapping Eda, Emira, and Edric. The Slitherbeast DOES at one point corner Luz later on, but she manages to fend for herself, and with everything mentioned above- And yeah, Eda isn’t going to hold any grudges against the wild animal that HAD been trying to mind its own business, when Luz had accidentally hurt it- And it’s not like it could’ve known that was an accident.

           So, Slitherbeast gets a pass. Then there’s Once Upon a Swap… Again, Lilith is a special case in that Eda knows she’s fundamentally a good person, they’re sisters and whatnot- And of course, Lilith doesn’t know she’s threatening Luz, she think she’s going after Eda, so Eda can’t blame her for intentionally trying to hurt Luz, that’s a pure accident that’s kind of Eda’s fault anyway. On the flipside, you have Boscha and her friends attacking King-in-Luz’s-body… And to be fair, it’s King- King can definitely get himself into deserved trouble. So they’re not REALLY retaliating against Luz for her own actions, it’s King for HIS own actions, even if they think it’s Luz… Plus, Boscha and her posse are literal kids.

           Aside from mixing everyone’s bodies up to provide cover for herself and the others, Eda doesn’t try to harm or retaliate! She doesn’t even try to get back at Roselle and Dottie, who tried to hold her prisoner! Again, Eda really is a forgive-and-forget kind of person, but when it comes to others… She can’t speak on their behalf, and she doesn’t ever want a kid like Luz to feel obligated to forgive an adult who hurt her. That’s not Luz’s responsibility, she shouldn’t have been hurt no matter what in the first place.

           Then we’ve got all those other episodes… Eda doesn’t know that Amity tried to get Luz dissected, and anyhow I doubt Amity actually intended for Luz to be hurt, just aiming for her to be pushed into a corner where she’s forced to out herself. Being a young kid like Luz, whom Eda knows is the child to Odalia and Alador, who likely stood out to her as a nasty bunch… And she can understand, even if it’s wrong- At least enough to not go out of her way to seek revenge on a literal child. This also applies to Covention, and Amity didn’t even try to hurt Luz, and as far as Eda knows, Luz agreed to that binding oath to not practice spells if she failed!

           Eda doesn’t know about the Demon Hunters who threatened Luz or the others… She DID meet them in Escape of the Palisman, but she doesn’t seem to recognize them, and clearly Luz and the others tried their best to cover up the incident. If Eda had recognized the Demon Hunters, I imagine she wouldn’t have just let things be, but who knows? She doesn’t hold anything against them, and in THAT case, they didn’t know Eda was a witch, they thought she was a wild animal out of control and a threat to others… Which she WAS (Eda even threatens Luz and King in that state), so Eda can’t blame them.

           Eda doesn’t know about what happened in Lost in Language… Mattholomule’s antics and that Detention Monster are already being resolved and anyhow aren’t life-threatening. Eda isn’t aware of what went on with the Bat Queen, but ultimately the Bat Queen turned around for Luz’s sake and only tried to chase off Luz for Owlbert’s sake, because Luz DID hurt Owlbert, so Eda can of course sympathize with that kind of protective nature- Plus Eda and the Bat Queen are on good terms and they love each others’ kids!

           Piniet… WELL, that’s an interesting conflict- If Luz and King hadn’t escaped, I also feel like Eda would’ve been VERY brutal with him, if aforementioned precedents set any example. She’d of course track down Piniet by learning about Ruler’s Reach, and Piniet would be in for a reckoning… Then we have The First Day, the Greater Basilisk is already incapacitated/dead by the time Eda arrives. Eda doesn’t know what goes on with Inner Willow, who only targets Amity from being literally set on fire… And while we don’t see Eda tackle Grom herself, she was obviously poised to beat it to kingdom come. And then there’s Boscha in Wing it like Witches, which Eda doesn’t know about, and also Boscha is a literal child.

           Repeating what is already well-established and obvious by this point- Eda seems to have an almost selfless double-standard… In that, she doesn’t really hold it against others who have a conflict with her, unless it’s a really personal betrayal like in Lilith’s case… But even then, Eda doesn’t go out of her way to kick an opponent when they’re down, or even hurt them, until Luz is threatened. And, I think that’s really sweet- Eda knows she’s flawed. Eda’s a full-grown adult, she’s definitely done things that would make people rightfully mad at her… But Luz?

          Even if she DID mess up, it’s definitely not out of malice, because that kid is trying her best- Plus she’s a KID, she doesn’t deserve to be hurt for that! Eda can understand if another kid doesn’t quite understand that, because children don’t think things through… But when an adult with power and age levies that over Luz the child? Eda doesn’t necessarily think of Luz as lesser or ‘weak’ for being a kid… More on that later… But while she wants Luz to be able to stand up for herself and be her own person, let her do things by her own request; As someone who was alone for so long, abandoned because of the curse and for being a criminal…

           Eda can’t bear to let Luz handle that burden on her own, even if she could- Because she’s a KID, she shouldn’t HAVE to do that in the first place! Eda’s not gonna fail Luz, not like how Gwendolyn seemed to fail her and Lilith… And, that plays into her kind of laughing off Luz’s attempt to take on Grom, when she first announces it! Eda doesn’t necessarily think of Luz as weak, and it’s clear that by the end of the day, she knows that as a kid, Luz shouldn’t be expected to handle that kind of terror… And this of course plays into how Eda has zero judgment when she reassures Luz and is ready to take on the responsibility of Grom, until Amity steps in. Coupled with giving the Witch’s Wool cloak to Luz (which Eda also had the concern that she herself wouldn’t need it soon enough), and Luz’s own accomplishments in the season finale… Managing to free Eda, fighting her way through the Conformatorium, instantly solo-ing Warden Wrath, and even damaging Belos?

           Coupled with how Eda has no issues with learning glyphs from Luz, because she believes and trusts in Luz’s guidance, knowledge, and skill as a witch- And I think it’s likely that Eda greatly respects Luz’s strength as a witch, if she hadn’t already… She was clever enough to figure out the glyphs, after all- And I think that REALLY began to change Eda’s perception of Luz’s potential, even beyond Luz rallying Tiny Nose and the others against Wrath, and having the maturity to dispel Adegast’s illusions! Luz wasn’t just strong in the emotional, spiritual sense- She has a real pragmatic cleverness, wit, adaptability, creativity, and now magical skill, that is worth recognizing and honing! And not just because she has no other choice, I think Eda genuinely trusts and respects Luz, to be willing to learn from her…

           …Even so- Eda’s totally going to freak out anyway if anyone keeps trying to threaten Luz, and dang it, she’ll do all she can to protect Luz, even if Luz is arguably more capable of defending herself now! Because she’s a kid, just because she can, doesn’t mean she should, Luz shouldn’t have to worry about that, screw anyone else who suggests otherwise!

[hannahlovestheatre]

A RANT ABOUT RENT LIVE AND HOW GOOD IT WAS

Okay so I need to stand on a soap box real quick to make a point. Please read the whole thing. I feel like Rent Live not only needs to be reviewed but is the perfect example for what I am about to say. If you have a problem with this, thank u next.

Let me ask you a question. How many people do you know named or are probably named Sarah? How about Taylor? Maybe Alex? Okay, now that you have a number in your head think about this: are they all exactly the same? Same hair color? Eye color? Body type? Do they all play soccer? Do they all love the same kind of music? Are they all the same race? Same sexual orientation? Is your answer no? It should be. They are all different yet special in their way.

Now let's look at Rent. We have Rent, the Broadway musical (which is actually a reincarnation La Boheme, an opera with a lot of other versions as well!!! It all comes full circle) ; Rent, the movie; and Rent Live. All share a name but none of them are the same. They are all special in their own way.

Rent, the Broadway musical, is one of if not the most revolutionary musical to hit the Great White Way. Without it, Hamilton and Dear Evan Hansen and The Prom and The Band's Visit and Fun Home probably wouldn't exist. It inspired artists to cross the borderlines and expressed the true meaning if love and being a part of a community, a family. It inspired composers like Lin Manuel-Miranda do even make musicals. It swept the Tonys, it won the Pulitzer prize, it ran for a very long time. It was so important that they filmed a pro shot of the final performance. However, that proshot was not a one take deal. They pre filmed some stuff to get those epic close ups, like the beginning of Out Tonight. Again, it was crucial to the world of theatre.

Next we have Rent, the movie. It was filmed as an independent film, kinda like how The Last Five Years was. They got most of the original cast to reprise their roles. Tracie Thoms and Rosario Dawson swept in to save the day. They are honestly the best Joanne and Mimi that I've seen. Tracie has played Joanne literally everywhere: in the movie, on Broadway, and at the Hollywood Bowl. And it was also a good thing for Rosario to put on her resume. The actual movie itself cut and rearranged the order of songs from the musical and doesn't focus much on being in the 90s but the present day. There's nothing wrong with that, but the creative team wanted this Rent to be it's individual being. People that see the movie might have only seem the movie and not the Broadway musical. When they see it's mostly the same cast, they got excited and were looking forward to seeing the other Rent. It's not the same Rent, but it's called Rent and is similar to that other Rent, but it's not that Rent. It's like Rent the II.

And as of yesterday we have Rent III, Rent Live. Now I get it. Technically this wasn't live as in broadcast live and everything you saw was happening in real time and that sucks but also thank God they filmed that final dress or it probably wouldn't have happened at all or at least not in the way they planned. The whole concert version they released clips of would have been what we saw for those 3 hours instead of the full out production that we deserved to see. People would have stopped watching right away if they only got to see poor Brennin in a wheelchair and the cast just sitting there in the same spot watching with the live audience they have in front of them. But ya know what? It was still live. They did'nt lip sync or animate themselves to be CGI dancers. They sang live, they moved live, they had a live audience. That's why it's called LIVE THEATRE. It is happening in front of a group of people. This was also the first live musical that had an issue that prevented them from putting on the production as is. Grease Live had some weather and audio issues but guess what? They added pre filmed video and audio to fix that!!!! Tbh, I would not be surprised if they stop broadcasting it live and make it live meaning LIVE theatre in front of a LIVE audience that you prerecorded and show the world on whatever night.

The cast was unlike the other two in the sense that it was part Broadway performers, part music artists, part actors and dancers that can sing, and one phenomenal drag queen. If you want my opinion, Valentina is tied with Wilson Jermaine-Heredia as the best Angel. For someone who has never done anything like this, she did a hell of a job and was literally perfect in the role. Vanessa Hudgens, again in my opinion is probably the best Maureen. Her Over the Moon soars over any other one I have seen from the costume to her comedic timing to her commitment to the whole damn thing. She killed it. We also got see Jordan Fisher live his lifelong dream of being the first POC Mark and he did the role justice. The way they wrote Mark's monologues and made him feel as isolated from his group as friends as we've seen him was BRILLIANT. Especially at the top of Act 2 where they incorporated Seasons of Love into the plot, something that was not done in the other Rents which was literally genius. It was where I shed my first tear. Then we have Brandon Victor Dixon who did the best I'll Cover You Reprise EVER. I thought Michael McElroy was the best before last night. I was a wreck when Brandon did it. He is definitely one of the knots that binds these things together. And then we have Tinashe, Mario, and Kiersey Clemons. These three did their roles justice as well. I think Tinashe was up to par with Rosario's Mimi but her Mimi was definitely the most believable because she played it so young, she is supposed to be 19 but also a little coy and super sexy, which she did. Mario's vocals popped off and he definitely showed how much of a jerk Benny is. And Kiersey had a rocky start in my opinion but still played a great Joanne that had the perfect amount of spunk, sass, poise, and intelligence. Oh and don't get me started on Keala Settle. That woman took me to theatre church to bless the lord of blessing us with her talent. They rewrote Paul to be a woman named Cy which to me felt so raw.

And now the censorship thing. Idk what everyone else saw but I saw the same risque and edgy components of Rent that the Rent I and Rent II. The lyric changes were obvious ONLY TO THOSE THAT KNOW OF THE OTHER RENTS IN THE FIRST PLACE. And the changes they did make were seamless. On these main broadcasting networks, you cannot say shit, fuck, dildos, expose bare asses, be overtly sexual, etc. etc. unless that creative team anticipates a lofty fee and a potential lawsuit. They were only able to cross a certain amount of lines before it got out of control. The final line was clearly mucho masturbation. They had things taken away from them and saw it as the perfect opportunity to really make this Rent the 2019 Rent that is different from the other 2 but doesn't try to be the most superior of the three we know of.

Do you see what I mean though? All of these things are called Rent but none of them are the same or trying to replace the other creations. Sarah A isn't trying be better than Sarah B who isn't trying to beat Sara, the one without an H at the end of her name and the same applies to any new adaptation of a book or movie or musical. Every time this happens, that same story is trying to be expressed to an audience that needs to hear it. This messed up world we live in now needs to see a place where people are loved and accepted and are a part of a tight knit community. Rent does exactly that.

So the next time you see that ______ Live is happening or _______ the Musical is happening or a certain musical is getting a film adaptation, don't compare the two as one entity. Call it _____ II or the Sara without an H at the end.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[posthumanwanderings]

while I was on the train to Nakano Broadway to collect more Heisei era Godzilla toys, I thought I’d make a personal list of the best to worst Godzilla films (up until Godzilla 2000 cause that’s around the time I stopped caring, I’ll try again tho) since the new Godzilla film is around the corner and maybe some of you are interested in giving the Big G’s archive a shot (you can delete this caption too if you just like the pic! and yes Morrigan counts as a kaiju, a beautiful one at that)

1. Terror of Mechagodzilla - last of the Showa era, ending with one of Godzilla’s most deadly foes. and I love how fucking big Titanosaurus is, god damn. the cyborg girl was cool too, loved her arc and how she controls both monsters.

2. Godzilla Vs. Mothra (90′s) - Mothra’s Heisei debut, and looking more dazzling than ever and also alongside her evil twin Battra. the fight in Yokohama (after its real life modern expansion when Japan’s economy was at its best) was a nice fresh setting for the climax. this one perfectly balances campyness and just a good kaiju film altogether. 3. Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster - Ghidorah, besides Mothra and Mechagodzilla is probably the next most recognizable kaiju even to nonfans. One of the best moments in Godzilla history is when Mothra desparately tries to convince Godzilla and Rodan to team up against an even bigger menace, then they can get back to their typical kaiju businesses. 4. Godzilla Vs. Destroyah - like how T.O.M. ended the Showa era with a bang, this is the one that ended the 85-95 era with a monster that really beats the shit out of zilla who is already on the cusp of exploding like a nuclear reactor... it ties together the very first Godzilla movie too for plus points. for those looking for a more serious, borderline horror movie kaiju experience.  5. Godzilla Vs. Mothra (60′s) - yup two Mothra movies in the top 5. Mothra fights with Godzilla are always so tense, since Mothra being a giant graceful butterfly appears so delicate against big boi Godzilla, plus her kids are under his threat as well. and on top of that Godzilla moves and fights like a drunkard the whole time. 6. Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (70′s) - Godzilla faces his robot clone for the first time who has one of the largest movesets of any other kaiju, a true force to be reckoned with. instead of Mothra being summoned by an ancient race, we have King Caesar, a stone guardian puppy dog lion to team up with zilla against the bigger baddie. fun fact: this was filmed right after Japan gained back Okinawa from America since WWII, and makes once again another fresh setting.

7. Godzilla 1985 - I’ll be honest, the lone Godzilla movies with no other kaiju weren’t the top of my interest especially being an ADHD kid, but from a film perspective this is shot really well, the miniature city set had a nice upgrade since T.O.M. from a decade before, and I love the laser beam special effects from the upgraded Japanese Defense Force in this.

8. Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah (90′s) - Not to be confused with the other 5ish Ghidorah encounters, this was the Heisei debut of the 3 headed monster mixed into a time travel plot since movies like Terminator were all the rage in the early 90′s. The tie in plot about WWII had more to be desired and felt very nationalist, but as a kaiju film the special effects were top notch especially with Mecha Ghidorah.

9. Destroy All Monsters - the ULTIMATE Showa era kaiju crossover fest has just about every giant monster Toho made up until the point because why not? It’s another typical story about mysterious aliens mind controlling kaiju to destroy Earth, but this time when they say Earth (and not just Tokyo) they mean it. Plenty of things get destroyed, nice big battle at the end, only thing lacking is they gave Baragon and Varan 3 seconds of screen time and they both are some of the coolest looking kaiju there are out there. big shame

10. Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (90′s) - in this Heisei take on MechaG, his role goes from super deadly alien robot menace to kinda still deadly robot guardian built by the EDF. he looks cool but just seems more weak compared to the more sinister alien engineered one. Rodan makes a long awaited return and basically has a custody battle with Godzilla over a mysterious kaiju egg. no spoilers

11. Godzilla Vs. Hedorah - probably the scariest Godzilla movie with Destroyah placed next. he fights an alien pollution monster who has been taking big rips from factory smoke stacks only making him bigger every time. Japan’s take on an environmental awareness film and I see nothing wrong with it one bit.

12. Godzilla Vs. Biolante - zilla sees another type of counterpart to himself, this time essentially a ‘PlantZilla’ after a scientist thought it might be a good idea to merge Godzilla cells with a plant for some reason. the story is a bit odd, but this remains in middle ground territory because it debuts Miki Saegusa, the super adorable psychic girl who appears in every 90′s film afterwards and the special effects of Biolante in final form are sick.it also has a disco version of the zilla theme for some reason.

13. Godzilla: King of The Monsters - someone would bash me big time for having this any lower on the list, but this is the one that started it all, grimly filmed in black & white a decade after the end of WWII. fans know this already but it’s the atomic bombs themselves which devastated Japan that influenced the idea for Godzilla, a force of mutated nature that lashes back on humanity for making really bad decisions. I like this and all but it lacks zero charm or kaiju style ‘fun’ but for good reason, since it was meant to be more of a horror flick. 

14. Godzilla Vs. Gigan - for those that do want the campiness, this is one of the best the series has to offer along with a couple more below. Godzilla’s ol pal Anguirus returns for his last Showa effort as they team up against space monsters Gigan (who is edgy af) and once again Ghidorah (who sadly has been fighting on his own the whole time while other monsters always team up to bash him). being in the 70′s, it’s got shades of James Bond / spy films in it and the fashion is on point. we get to hear Godzilla talk for the only time ever too.

15. Godzilla Vs. Megalon - probably out camps #14 for several reasons: this entire time there have been an ancient race of humans living below the Earth who feel enough is enough between pollution and expansion of society and finally unleash their protector, a giant cockroach monster with drills for arms to destroy just Japan all modern civilization (where was he during Hedorah’s visit tho?). 2nd reason is there’s copycat Ultraman who also looks like Jack Nicholson, then there’s the edgy middle-school bully like relationship between Megalon and Gigan and then lastly the infamous Godzilla dropkick you might’ve seen in GIF form, if not well here you go:

16. Godzilla Vs. Monster Zero - probably the 1st 90% campy zilla flick because of the Godzilla victory dance alone, but this was also because as time went by more kids cared about the movies and not the original target audience of war torn adults. the aliens (at least in the dub version) speak super monotone even when they are being huge bad asses, and we get to see G and his on-and-off lover buddy team up again but this time IN #&$%#% SPACE. the setting on Planet X was real cool to see as a kid, but sadly we haven’t seen any kaiju fighting back in space ever since. the NES Godzilla game fixes that itch.

17. Son of Godzilla - well I’ve only ever seen this movie twice, which means it maybe just isn’t that good, even for G fans. it debuts, of course, the son of Godzilla who looks like a cross between the Cookie Monster and Michelin Man. I’ll give this movie credit for distancing zilla away from the city setting in replace with his tropical home territory in Monster Island which only gets glimpses in the other films. the ending shot is real sweet too.

18. Godzilla Vs. SpaceGodzilla - back to spaciness, we do see one last alien monster come to Japan in the 2nd to last 90′s Godzilla movie, appropriately called SpaceGodzilla. while he lacks agility (when not flying on his giant meth crystal) he makes up for it with telekinesis and other long range attacks. the story / acting / mostly everything is pretty so-so and we all know deep inside the only reasons to watch it still are the scenes with baby Godzilla stepping on land mines and more Miki Saegusa wardrobe changes, but the final battle in a crystal filled Fukuoka is really awesome. 

19. Godzilla’s Revenge - wow well I just noticed I put 3 baby zilla focused movies all in a row near the very bottom of the list, my bad. this one takes the cake tho for pure cringe. but it’s better than the last 3 so it can’t be super terrible, right? once again no spoilers but the only thing that bumps this stock footage filled movie more up then from being the worst of all time are the super silly fight scenes against baby Godzilla’s bully Gabara. you know Godzilla has to do it to em.

20. Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster - even tho the former movie just reviewed uses stock footage of almost all the fight scenes of this one, it is somehow worst than #19 because it focuses way too much on a 60′s party cruise, and Godzilla gets a lil King Kong-ish during a scene with the love interest of the movie, and the giant lobster monster with no lasers / projectile claws just doesn’t seem as threatening as all the previous monsters zilla has fought since.

21. Godzilla Vs. King Kong - I’ll admit, I never liked King Kong and probably never will, and because he moves faster than Godzilla they had to use non-slowed down footage to make the monsters fight like kids on a playground slapping each other, and just looks weird. real talk, Godzilla would beat the shit out of Kong with a single radioactive blast and the movie would end right there. but that’s not the ending we got.. let’s start a patreon to rewrite the movie we all wanted.

22. Godzilla Raids Again - alright we finally made it, thee very worst Godzilla movie of all time according to the loser typing this. why? because it went against everything the first Godzilla movie represented, but like... suddenly, since it’s the sequel to the movie and the big G was never meant to return after, which luckily wasn’t the case. it’s superrrr campy but on the acting side, and the fights with newcomer Anguirus are super sped up even more than the Kong fights, and just seems tacky overall in a non-funny way. the suit for Anguirus is honestly one of the coolest kaijus ever tho, and they made little changes to him every time he came back cause it was just that good. 

anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. if I were to recommend just 3 Godzilla movies to someone who has never seen them before to represent each side of the series, I’d pick Terror of MechaGodzilla for the serious pick, Ghidorah The Three Headed Monster for the balance / kaiju fest pick, and Godzilla Vs. Megalon for the most campy and fun one overall. hope this big list can help those who are curious! next up: Godzilla game reviews :)

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x10 “Nihilism”

i can’t think of a summary but i watched the thing and here are my thoughts

03:43pm

hokaAAAAAY i’m severely magnesium deficient so i haven’t slept, feel very sick, and i can barely see but LET’S DO THISSSSSSSS

i just wanna see cas, i miss him

too bad he’s probably gonna be sad all episode

AT LEAST LET US SEE HIM CRY pls

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03:48

is that pamela? or does she just look exactly like pamela

-

and what does the table say? “darn love free”???? i can’t read it D:

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03:50

istg i want to eat all the symbolism here and i don’t even know what 98% of it means

but there’s “cosmic cowboy”, “ghost”, and “the fox rye” lager on tap

and DEAN HAS A SUPER SOFT VOICE WHAT IS THIS

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03:52

the texan star sign always looks like the bi pride flag to me

plus if you look from red/pink lights at the top, purple on the right, blue on the bottom, ................. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

cOINCIDENCE.........PROBABLY

-

03:54

a girl in glasses comes in and dean’s like “welp” ;)

is this dean’s heaven

are the girls gonna make out

i feel like that might happen

edit: noooope and i’m glad about that tbh

-

pamela confirmed

okay good it’s not just super weird casting where everyone looks literally exactly the same as other people

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03:57

pamela: “besides, you don’t want me, you just like to flirt”

yeaaaah and he knows it

i love seeing dean this content tbh <3

and yeah that’s pretty much how i think dean sees most girls nowadays

edit: this was one of my favourite parts from this episode

-

04:02

guest starring someone called thunderbird dwindle??? and lisa berry

okay i’m game

-

04:04

jessica got replaced by violet and violet has the most wonderful smile and i love her already

“we have shifts now because you mess up so, so many things”

this lady’s style and script delivery makes me feel like she’d be right at home in ‘the good place’ (which is an amazing show i recommend to everyone)

-

04:07

how the hell does he heal like that

did jack heal him

if he heals himself, why doesn’t he heal during battle? there must be reasons and explanations but i don’t know them

-

04:13

i’m really enjoying michael’s smug sarcasm

-

04:15

I FUCKIN LOVE DEAN IN HIS LIL REPEAT FANTASY THING

HAppy dean is my fave, no other dean is allowed

-

04:17

i love that in order to get the repeat shot of “ghoul thing in wichita with cas, they should be back tonight” to follow into “huh, just had some serious deja vu” they had to shoot the long version and just cut it for the first 3 times, then play the long one the 4th time

it’s so simple but it makes me very excited

also wooooooooooooow, personal note, i feel so goddamn sick and dizzy rn WHY IS MAGNESIUM SO EASY TO BE DEFICIENT IN, SO HARD TO REPLENISH IF YOU HAVE CELIAC DISEASE, AND SO UTTERLY VITAL FOR BASIC FUNCTION

i mean it’s a little tmi but taking more supplements actually makes it worse since if you take too much you lose it in diarrhoea, which makes you more deficient. and taking not enough also makes it worse. and getting exactly the right amount means i’m constantly on the borderline of deficiency. ;~;

-

04:27

cas remains to be the single more beautiful and compassionate creature in existence

-

04:28

literally cannot handle this shot i’m squealing ;~;

also michael is like HEY I HAVE DADDY ISSUES remEMBER YOU HAVE DADDY ISSUES TOO

-

it got worse

-

04:29

also beautiful but NOWHERE NEAR AS BEAUTIFUL AS CAS AT THIS MOMENT and i can’t even figure out how or why

probably the lighting and the acting

cas is all nice n stuff and michael is like EVERYONE MUST DIE sooooo

-

04:31

“my world, this world? nothing but failed drafts. and when [god] realises they’re flawed he moves on a tries again”

now look here

i literally wrote this concept

in my destiel fic “hart of the storm”

four years ago

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2669921/chapters/5968742

(skip to chapter 21 if you don’t wanna read the whole thing. but also do read the whole thing pls thank)

-

04:39

i cannot handle

i love this and hate this 

i am inexplicably thrilled by his expression

and the way he says “coool science project. i give it a b minus”

also this seems super gay to me and i really couldn’t say why

maybe it’s the flirty “ah! ooh” when cas touches michael’s face, which i only heard after i said it was gay

i guess michael also thought it was gay

-

04:44

cas: “so much..........so much trauma in dean’s mind..........so many scars”

:c

not a surprise but still

:c

-

sam: “if i wanted to distract dean, i’d give him something he’s never had before”

cas: “contentment”

this hurts. SO . MUCH

but also i love seeing them figure that out and talking about that shit so openly

-

sam: “let’s look through his good memories”

vaguely violating but I WANT THIS SO BADLY YESSSS

-

one of dean’s fave memories is saying “i think i’m adorable”

he enjoys moments of self-love

aS HE FUCKING SHOULD AAAHHHHHHH

i’m so emotional about this

i just want to hear about panties and cas somewhere in this

edit: to be fair there was no mention of sam in there either?? intrigued by this episode saying dean doesn’t actually care about his family, which i find incredibly hard to believe, but there’s something about the way michael says it that makes you kind of wonder if it’s true

-

cas says pamela is designed to distract dean

pamela: “you really know how to talk to a lady, don’tcha”

hurr

cas just stares and squints

i have decided this is gay and i like it

-

04:53

the impala’s licence plate in the background (top left) ^

and the cowboy cutout things from the tombstone episode

BOTH THE GUY AND THE GIRL WHOO (note that the guy cowboy is BEHIND CAS)

-

04:56

pamela: “get me a shot. with your braaaain.”

i love her

-

04:58

when cas’ eyes go big it makes me have emotions

-

05:11

dean: “my mind, my rules. i’ve got him. i’m the cage”

NICE

-

05:13

cas: “you cannot AFFORD that kind of accident”

aw man be nice to jack

-

oh and then he is <3

cas is the best dad

<3 <3 <3

-

05:16

OH HEY IT’S MY FAVE

-

05:19

all of dean’s death journals say he dies because of michael......

“all except one.”... “that’s up to you”

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy he looks like a scared lil kiddo

~

05:20

it’s over WHOOOOOOOO THAT WAS GREAT 10/10

one of the best episodes in a long time but that might just be because of the hiatus :P

i feel too damn sick to think about things but THAT WAS SOME GOOD SHIT

love seeing women of colour with names and speaking roles and purposes and actual characters

and seeing dean was very, very nice

<3

michael is fun to watch even though he’s the Worst

and maggie’s continued existence just makes me happy

kudos to steve yockey and amanda tapping. this was a good way to spend an afternoon when i cannot do anything else.... and nor would i have wanted to, really ~