#we stan a helpful paladin

[americankimchi]

Do you have any tips for writing Obi Wan or any meta in mind with his characterizarion?

hmmm sure why not! i'll give a few tips on how i'd write obi-wan. mind you this is how i interpret the character, so ymmv.

i truly do not like it when fics have obi-wan voluntarily leaving the order. like it's so out-of-character for me in my head that the premise of the story + the writing would have to work triple-time to get me to stick around. now if he's been removed from it by an EXTERNAL SOURCE (not the order. i cannot stress this enough: the jedi kicking obi-wan out is so jarring to me i'll leave the fic in an instant) or somehow unable to return to the order for whatever reason, all is well.

not a prodigy, but a genius. obi-wan is an incredibly intelligent person with an absolutely staggering knowledge base in a wide variety of topics, but all that knowledge was earned through blood, sweat, tears, and time. he sat down with his game face on and put in the work. that's also why he makes an excellent teacher: he knows what most students will struggle with because he struggled too, and knows through experience how best to overcome them. i headcanon that it contributes to why he's such a good negotiator: he's really good at stripping down information to the essentials and communicating that information effectively and efficiently to others because of his intense study habits.

humble, but not ignorant of his skills. it's pretty impossible to fully divorce yourself from pride in your achievements, and i don't think it's healthy to not feel any pride at all, so i think obi-wan has a very clear understanding of his skillset and how best to use it. i don't think he'd be ignorant of how good he is at something, especially since the direct consequence of his aptitude led him to being a member of the jedi council. pretty hard to be blind to your strengths when you're being asked for your input on topics that directly draw from that knowledge.

averse to healthcare. listen i enjoy obi-wan whump just as much as the next obi-wan stan (the desire to put him in the cosmic salad spinner comes with the territory, i fear) but as a character who grew up in an environment that deeply cares for the well-being of all, and knowing that you cannot help others unless you yourself first have the ability to do so, i can't really see him ignoring injuries outside of combat scenarios. like on the battlefield he's got more pressing concerns than a pesky little shrapnel wound or five, but once the battle's over?? he might not be first in line to the medics but i can't see him avoiding them entirely. an army without a general is working at a sharp disadvantage and i don't think he'd risk his men by neglecting his physical health in that manner. note that i said 'physical'. make of that what you will :)

duty. obi-wan is the definition of a paladin. he takes an oath and by the force he's going to keep it. train the boy? absolutely, qui-gon. whether or not anakin chooses to respect that training is another matter, but he did definitively get knighted! refuse to kill anakin? listen he's handed vader his own ass to him twice post order 66 and each time he did it he did it nonlethally. that takes skill. that takes dedication. exile yourself to tatooine for 19 years and then decide fuck it, we ball, and die after Once Again Deciding Not To Kill Anakin Skywalker? step aside casper, there's a new friendly ghost in town. every time obi-wan commits to something the man COMMITS. you GOTTA respect that grind.

flirty but in the sense that he's going to match the energy someone brings to the table. like he's a negotiator. he knows how to read people and figure out the Vibes. if he thinks the other person will be 1) 100% receptive and 2) will respond with a delightful wit, why the hell not? obi-wan's highest stat is charisma and he's got expertise in persuasion. whether they're allies or not does not factor into this equation. he can have a little flirtation with morally dubious and potentially hostile characters. as a treat.

this has nothing to do with his character but i firmly believe that he and quinlan vos had at LEAST a fling when they were padawans. there is zero evidence to back this up aside from a few comics where they were being goofy teenagers together but i stand by this. it is an unshakeable aspect of obi-wan to me that has only gotten worse with the kenobi show.

no matter what, no matter how terrible or devastating or downright apocalyptic it gets, obi-wan kenobi will never fall to the dark side. never. it won't be easy, but that is a line he has never, and will never cross. i will not hear any "obi-wan touched the dark side during the theed generator fight" slander. if that was true tell me why the force theme was playing during his moment of triumph!!! Would John Williams Lie To Us Like That?? to our face?????

anyways i could go on forever about obi-wan because he is My Ultimate Blorbo but this post is getting super long so i'll leave it there. hope this helped even a little or at the very least was entertaining for you to read <3

[lockescoles]

BG3 Tag Game

thank you to @riddlerosehearts for tagging me!! 💖

tagging @rainbowmateria @dekarios @rusya-pics and anyone else who wants to participate! no pressure, just tagging a few mutuals who i've seen post about the game.

Favorite romance: The only one I completed for now is Astarion's and I absolutely adore it hfdhd 🥰 I love the way it progresses, I love how deeply these two come to care for each other. They're just so cute and they have beautiful scenes together! The first time she hugs him and he seems so surprised and wonders why she cares is just gfgd 😢 I want to romance Gale in my new playthrough because I heard his romance is very good too, but I need to resist Astarion for that and I know it'll be hard for me 😂

Favorite class to play: I only did one playthrough for now and I was a rogue, which was very fun! I always love playing as a rogue/assassin whenever I can, it's just so damn badass haha! Now I'm playing a paladin and it already seems very fun too `3

Favorite NPC: Ahhhh it's so hard! I absolutely love Scratch of course, we always stan a good boy! Dammon is also very precious, I love how he wants to help everyone. And Mol is so cute, I really like her too!

Favorite song off the soundtrack: The soundtrack is very hard, it's good to say! The Nightsong Theme is very good, I Want to Live, the music during the fight against Raphael... it's a very, very good ost!!

Tell us a little about your Tav: Her name is Hecate, she's a high elf, noble, rogue/assassin. She has a resting bitch face and she can act like a bad bitch sometimes, but she has a great heart. She's just very good at manipulating the bad guys LOL Her romance is Astarion and her best friend is Shadowheart, but she's also very close to Gale and Karlach.

Something you wish was in the game: More interactions between the companions, especially at the camp! They often comment about each other but they don't have much interactions, and I'm sure it'd be fun :3

Do you create fanworks? Share something with us: I definitively need to do BG3 gifsets! Ngl I had more inspiration and motivation for gifsets when people were reblogging gifsets more 😝

[strykingback]

Jaune Arc- The Most Horrendous Knight Ever. (Twin Revisions)

Silence My Minions!! Now as you know yesterday night I did a why Jaune is a horrible knight post and the what not. But today I deleted it cause some stans really just wanna say that he is "isnt a knight." but knight inspired. Aight. Aight! I might as well hop onto the rewriting post and use everything to my knowledge. Cause holy hell almighty this was giving me a headache.

and having me in my bed like:

"I know this motherfucker did not just cherry-pick my whole post"

So yes, I deleted and a few of my replies and decided to get some help for this one. By the way huge thank you @burgers-and-diatribe for giving me a helping hand on this one. Y'all go check'em out and giv'em a high five. Cause they were a huge help for this revision.

So without further ado. Lets get into it.

Now before hand we're just going to get into it a huge part of RWBY's characters whether it be extra, protagonist, or antagonistic characters are inspired by either Fairytale, Historical, or Mythological figures. This can also include the Romanticization of Fairytales as well.

Now Jaune Arc is based off the historically legendary female knight of the Hundred Years War. Joan of Arc. Who was well known for having been granted a vision by the Archangel, Michael to save France from British Domination. This would later on culminate into her arrival at Orleans and participating in major battles and even after her death it would pave the way for the French to claim victory in the Hundred Years War several decades later.

Jaune would immediately trip over and fall flat on his face cause he can't even hold a candle up to Joan of Arc. Because it would better fit the historical allusion if he:

His Semblance was based around seeing into the future Which despite Transitioning Into A Woman In Later Volumes or Being Born as A Woman and being called Jeanne. Having erratic visions of Fire, being related to Cinder and a possible future of her death or a battle that could lead to her death.

Possibly her death inspiring others or paving the way for a major victory.

At the same time, they dont allude to their historical counterparts unlike how Jaune does so. Instead they go for the Paladin route due to it being such a huge Dungeons and Dragons concept as he achieves Aura Amplification which is none other than the Lay On Hands ability minus the healing factor of its ability.

I know Jaune is a Fantasy Knight but at the same time in Volume Nine he is called the RUSTED KNIGHT. in which at that point he either is or inspired by the romanticized concepts of the Code of Chivalry.

Before I hop into this lets just get this out of the way

Real Life Knights =/= Fantasy Knights

This is because Real Life Knights are by far not the romanticized concepts that we read or watch in media. As Real Knights were just overall horrendous, cruel, and even lazy. This is because most knights that we know in real life were in fact noblemen born into knighthood beginning their training no less than the age of fifteen. Then made into a squire and then into a knight.

Now knights in our world pillaged, murder, or even did many more horrible things in order for their status to be seen during the Middle Ages. As there have been many many accounts of knights doing horrendous atrocities as well.

As one account during the Age of Chivalry (The 11th to the 12th Century) as a historian recounts Sir John Arundel and his band of knights taking refuge in a convent violating the Nuns and stealing from them and throwing them overboard once they were all but used up. Not to mention real knights would usually face off against other knights. Sometimes in duels to resolve petty conflicts, entertainment or in festivals as well.

As the book Chivalry in Medieval England by Nigel Saul states; "Knights only fought for three things. Land, Gold, and War Booty."

Now as for Fantasy Knights this is not applicable to their Real Life counterparts as they are no means perfect as well. But its once again those romanticized concepts of what we see knights as. Noble, Kind, Understanding and Powerful altogether.

Now do they follow the concepts of Code of Chivalry? Ehhhh. Maybe depending on the character(s) in media.

As some Fantasy Knights are either, Sellswords, Free Knights/Paladins, Servants to a Lord, King or Queen, or Baron. Hell or even just bandits.

Now there are only two accounts of the Code of Chivalry

Song of Roland’s Code of Chivalry: 

Fear God and His Church Serve the liege lord in valor and faith Protect the weak and defenseless Live by honor and for glory Respect the honor of women

King Arthurs version of the Code of Chivalry: 

Honor Honesty Loyalty Valor

Now in my last post I did say Jaune should have been following those concepts of chivalry and how he falls flat in some areas of it. Until I was corrected saying that I shouldnt be applying those especially with how "vague" it is for something that is from a romanticized fairytale. It was then when I realized that if Jaune were to be a true knight he would have swear fealty for a Lord or King to follow those Codes of Chivalric Faith.

Now can I not apply those things to Jaune. No.

But Can I make him to the point where he was inspired by the Codes of Chivalry. Since Rooster Teeth made Jaune as a fictional character following a real life concept (Aka the Romanticized Concepts of the Codes of Chivalry), such as Knighthood.

Also the fact that monarchs did exist in Ancient Remnant in Volume 6 which further cements the fact the knights existed and with Ozma/Ozpin being a knight during that time.

Its almost as if saying Robyn Hill isnt based off of the Romanticization of Robin Hood because this, this, and that. Or because it does not in exist in Remnant. Once again RWBY's characters are based off of Fairytales, Historical, or Mythological figures we know of IRL. and yes even Romanticized Fairytales can count as well.

Yes I know some people will come at me and call me a Jaune Hater just because me and many many others rag on him. But at the same time... I rooted for him to become better. And due to idiotic writing decisions from Miles Luna and making him into a Ron Stoppable, shoe horning him into important scenes and the like. It only made me hate him more. The

I Like Him For the Character He Could Have Become.

Instead he is a failure to live up to his historical allusion and even fails at being a knight/ paladin archetype.

TL;DR: Another revision on how I explain why Jaune fails at being a Joan of Arc Allusion and a Knight Allusion

[jazz-penguin]

Yesterday I had a quick encounter with a melvin stan and wow, they're so sure in their ship being endgame. That was a traveling day for me so I had plenty of time to sit and look out the train window and think about why Byler is gonna be endgame. And I still think it's inevitable.

I think one of the reasons why Will and Mike are much better compatible than Mike and El is their... archetypes? OK I don't know how to name it correctly but the thing is that Mike is a Protector, the Paladin, the Leader of the party. He used to have that role in the first two seasons and that's where he was in the right place. He was the protagonist and we all loved him for being in the center of the search party and then by Will's side in the lab.

Through all the seasons Will has been a "damsel in distress". He's not a coward though, in the very beginning of the show we see him trying to shoot demogorgon / Vecna / whatever that was with a gun. Despite being bullied his whole life Will was ready to stand up for himself but the events happening to him were just too terrifying for a little boy. And Mike was there for him, never being overprotective.

In S3 Mike lost his position as a protector. He started to date El and she is not a damsel in distress. She needs some help so she could learn how the society works and how she can fit in, but she doesn't need protection, she's very much the knight of her own. And when Mike tries to get back to his position trying to stop her from searching for the Mindflayer, his efforts are found being annoying. El is her own person Mike, go away. He sees it over and over until in S4 Mike confesses to Will that he doesn't believe El needs him anymore. And when at the end of the season Mike tries to help El by telling her what he thought she wanted to hear, we see him being unconvincing, because sitting there holding her hand saying "baby you can do it" is not his position. He is the one who fights but not this time. Actually Mike will never be a protector or a knight while he's in relationship with El because she is a fighter. And he is a side-kick and that affects his self-confidence.

While it's Will who will always need Mike. It seems so obvious what's the best outcome of this love triangle that I can't imagine the end being different than Byler endgame.

[princessallura052]

First impressions vs Now Impressions

It’s odd because sometimes as we watch shows, our impressions of characters can change with our experiences, something I noticed when I was rewatching Cyberchase yesterday which was I didn’t realise how impatient and short-tempered Matt was when I was a kid so then I started thinking about my favourite show, Voltron and decided to write out my thoughts on my first impressions of all six Paladins (so, yes, including both Shiro and Allura) and Coran.

First impressions -

Shiro: Typical anime protagonist, very heroic but with a tragic background and he’s been through a lot but still has a good heart. 

Keith: He’s pretty and has a pretty cool entry with how he rescued Shiro but it’s hard to tell much about him from the intro other than that he’s resourceful and really socially awkward.

Lance: I hated him. He annoyed me and while I could tell there was more, he was easily my least favourite.

Hunk: Being honest, I didn’t really notice him beyond the scaredy-cat and the boy who throws up a lot.

Pidge: My favourite character upon first watch. She was interesting, a little reserved but she kept me wanting to know more about her.

Allura: I didn’t notice much about her other than her being pretty and a little bit bossy. Yeah, I know my initial opinion of her was shallow.

Coran: Best character in the show. I will fight you.

Now Impressions:

Shiro: My psychological antennas tingle. There is so much trauma and so much angst to play around with as a fanfic writer and he’s so interesting and complex.

Keith: Favourite character. I relate to him and he is the one I will die to protect his honour from all the pedophiles who want him to get raped and abused by the only adult he could ever trust outside his parents. I will fight for you, Keith!

Lance: Still, probably my least favourite Paladin but I can see how his arc helped him develop into a good right hand and he’s a good person. He’s not my type of character but I can respect those who like him.

Hunk: I love him. He grew to be an incredible character after his development with Shay and his character development was very much like Neville Longbottom. He found the hero within himself.

Pidge: I still like her. She’s cool. She’s one of the darkest Paladins to me as she could have gone down any path given how incredibly intelligent she was so yeah…I don’t want to get on her bad side.

Allura: The kindest of the Voltron Paladins. I know Shiro stans will come at me for this but Shiro still has Earth. He still has Earth - he still has something to go home to. Allura doesn’t - she literally has no reason to fight as hard as she does but she does because she does not want what happened to her home to happen to any other planet. Shiro has Earth to fight for - Allura has nothing. She knows even if she wins, they have no home left.

Coran: Still, the best character of the show.

[rainbownixie]

i just remembered that ur in the south park fandom too, so,,,, st x sp au?

(i know they technically alr did that special episode but yk what i mean lol)

i love this like- they're such huge hyperfixations for me i- thanks. just thanks.

this isn't exactly an au??? more like who's who in both universes i guess!!!

-

stan is definitely mike. there is no doubt. it's obvious. their families and lives are basically the same and their personality is pretty much alike! they're both paladins too??? like??? they're both seen as selfish at some point but they're just struggling! they hate feeling vulnerable and are really really stubborn when it comes to arguments. they have this inferiority complex they try to hide with their savior complex and both of them have this extreme fear of not being enough and losing the people they love!

kyle has to be will because he's super best friends in a definitely not gay way with stan (i had to make byler and style happen okay). they're both smart, sweet, love their families, they're done with literally everyone and follow morals and righteousness! maybe will isn't exactly like kyle because he loses his temper over nothing (it often is because of cartman, really) and is able to go to extremes sometimes. but i do think that when they get mad at stan/mike they're pretty much the same! and they fight for what's right and tbh they've been through a lot and they're trying so hard give them a breaaaak

butters is obviously el because he often doesn't understand what's going on and had a pretty shitty life (specifically because of his dad). just like el! they're both kindhearted but they aren't dumb and would do anything for their friends. plus, butters is pretty much bald already so- plus he became a main character only to cover up the fact that kenny was dead (cof cof el appearing when will's missing/dead cof cof)

kenny is max and i KNOW it probably doesn't make sense but hear me out! kenny is the only one who treats butters like he deserves and actually sees him as a person and not some guy they can just use. the way kenny/max act around butters/el is basically the same thing and they both help them get out of their codependent relationships! and kenny is like in a huge coma in between death and life?? hello??? max in S4/5???? and kenny would be the one getting vecna'd and dying duh! tbh their personalities are alike too! they are the cool ones of their group and have strong opinions on people! they have a shitty life too and abuse never stopped them from being heroes.

hear me out do not judge before reading this: cartman is dustin. AND I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING BUT HEAR ME OUT- please forget about everything awful eric does (i know it's hard but please do) and focus on the good stuff! they're both highly intelligent and always make the best plans. they're definitely the brain of the group and can get sarcastic and mean and low-key manipulative if they want. but they're actually sweethearts??? like obviously dustin is kind and sweet but eric is too! sometimes! not too many times tho--- but i swear he is sometimes! and avoiding the fact that the cartman/butters dynamic is toxic af, if you only see the good moments they have and the fact that they're canon bffs it could be similar to dustin/el. i don't agree with most of the things eric does but we gotta admit that when he is on the good team he has awesome ideas but!!! no one!!! hears him!! just like dustin.

tolkien is lucas it's so damn obvious- they have they same arguments with stan/mike because they just don't get to understand their struggles and they never seem to listen to them when they're the voice of the reason most of the time. both tolkien and lucas are pretty logical and goal-oriented and have awesome ideas! they just want to have fun and chill and they're both really really sweet and hilarious! i don't think tolkien is as chaotic as lucas tho?? he's more on the calm side. but i think they're both similar in a lot of other stuff!!

clyde is soooo steve coded! they're both seen as dumb and superficial and cool and everyone thinks they're just the "popular guy" when actually they're so so sweet! they care so much about their friends and they try so hard to make everyone happy!!! even if they focus a lot on dating and image. girls don't really want them for their true selves (they only want steve for his looks and money and clyde because of his dad's job). and they cry and whine for EVERYTHING they're so done give them a break-

craig is so so so so much like robin! they're seen as sarcastic and serious at first but then when they open up they can't shut up. they have the same issue with social cues and they use sarcasm as a coping mechanism A LOT. plus they're clyde/steve's bffs and their dynamic is basically the same. they're highly intelligent and always have the best plans, although they didn't even intend to be there in the first place.

tweek is vickie because i said so and because vickie gives me the adhd/anxious energy tweek has. and because tweek is dating craig and i really really wanted creek to happen in this au.

please forget for a moment that i said mike is stan and just focus on personality here! wendy is so much like nancy! both girlbosses, love journalism, i don't have any proof but nancy was def class president, and both would gladly use a gun if needed. they're so strong and smart and always fight for what's right!! literally the same character. when everyone seems to be against them and their ideas they always fight for their stories! i admire them so much for that

idk who jonathan could be??? maybe jimmy! i love them both a lot and they're both so sweet and funny! idk they just give me the same vibe but maybe it's just that i don't have more main characters to use-

[empressofthesunwriter]

The Magician's Quest

SoT AU: Her homeland invaded, her parents died, and all Magic was outlawed. Dark Magician N.K. is on the run from the Inquisition, who wants nothing more than to burn her at a stake. She finds herself in Zaron, the Human Kingdom, not knowing that she stepped into a war for the most powerful relict of them all. A legend, which is reality. The Stick of Truth.

I always wanted to write a Stick of Truth AU and here I am. I will update this once per week on any Tuesday timezone Cest Utc+2.

Also since Post Covid I wanted to write for the adult kids with adult themes without people screaming at me I can’t write smut for fictional characters.

So all characters are over 18 but their age isn’t named. Image them how you like them. Post-Covid special or your own fantasy. :D

Happy reading now.

Prolog

She was so tired.

Tired and hungry.

Tired, hungry, and dirty.

When was the last time she slept well?

As her parents were still alive.

When was the last time she eat?

Last Monday, when she stole from the Traveling Merchant an apple.

When was the last time she washed herself?

Two days ago in the little waterfall between Zaron and Larnion.

Now she was here.

Finally.

In Zaron.

She know that the Human Kingdom was led by the legendary Grand Wizard Eric Cartman.

He always searched for promising Mages in his court.

Some said he had an obsession with magic and any new magician brought him new wisdom about it.

Some said he was fast annoyed with his magician and throw them out like rotten tomatoes.

N.K. didn’t care for rumors.

She only cared about to find finally a place where she would be safe.

Her homeland was invaded by the Purists of the True Light. They were mostly human but had a scary knowledge of how to counter Magic. Themselves said their prayers to their god made them immune to Magic.

The brunette woman only know that her mother, her beloved mother, and the Queen’s Court Magician, had been ripped apart by a shining light, nothing left of her.

Father tried to run away with her, but the Inquisitors of the Purists got him too.

And they didn’t stop.

N.K. saw half of her town killed in cold blood. She felt ashamed that she used this chaos to run away and not to fight.

Yet, how could she not fulfill her father’s last request for her?

“Live my little princess. For me and your mother!”

These words haunted her sleep.

Like the screams of agony and the shouted accusation of her death neighbors and friends.

“Why didn’t you help us?”

“You coward!”

“You were the next Court Magician, why N.K.?”

“All your power, all your talent, for nothing!”

“Traitor!”

She breathes heavily and grips her cloak.

The castle of Kupa Keeps looms in the distance.

N.K. knows it’s not good to think about her nightmares. She needs to get to the castle before it gets dark. She is already weak enough and can’t risk getting attacked in the forest. She needs to conserve her energy.

So she grits her teeth, walking to her hopeful new home.

Paladin Butters the Merciful has secrets.

Secrets that would have her killed if her king ever found them out.

One…she was born as a man, but deep down she knows she should have been a woman.

All right, this would probably not get her killed. Eric accepts even Princess Kenny, but her parents would be so disappointed in her.

She can’t risk their disappointment again.

As she was born without any indication of being able to learn the higher Magics and become the Court Magician, she had been grounded for a whole year.

If Princess Kenny with her sister didn’t visit her at night, she would have turned crazy.

So no, she can’t go back to that.

Her second and biggest secret is what will for sure get her killed…she loved the wrong man.

He was a proud and powerful Ranger with the cutest and fiercest wolf companion.

And an elf.

Yep, she loved the famous and feared by humans Stanley Marshwalker, the right-hand man of the High Elf King.

“I hate that we can only meet like this, Marianne.”, groans Stan into her neck, as they lay together on the forest floor, after one of their secret couplings.

She is still in wonder that he also loves her. She had heard the rumors that he was once engaged to the right-hand woman of the Amazon Queen, Lady Wendy from the Falling Trees.

Nonetheless, after that fateful day two years ago, Stan was hers as she was his now.

Marianne, the name she chooses for herself and only Stan, Princess Kenny, and Princess Karen used to her in private, strokes with one hand her loves beautiful black hair, while she looks at the sun.

“Oh hamburgers, I need to go.”, she shrieks.

How she wished she could simulate a more feminine voice like Princess Kenny!

She hates all this… manliness on her. That’s why she insists that Stan takes her always…she doesn’t want to use the thing between her legs as much as she can.

Stan grips her hips, narrow and not womanly at all, urgh, whining into her ear.

“No, Bunny, come on! We just got here!”

“Stanley we had sex for like three hours. I really need to go or the Wizard King will be awful cross with me!”

“Come with me, please.”, he begs her like every time they meet. “Leave Zaron and come with me to Larnion. There you can be yourself and we can wed.”

“Stan, you know I can’t. My parents still need me. And I can’t leave Princess Kenny and Karen all alone.”, she reminds him, carefully ripping his hands from her body and searching for her robe.

Stan still lays naked on the forest ground, his cape used as a blanket, and crosses his arms behind his head, while she gets dressed.

“Marianne, Bunny, I know that you hate it when I say it, but your parents are assholes! Fuck them, they don’t deserve you.”

She places her Paladin band on her head and puts her long blond hair into a ponytail. That’s the only feminine thing she is allowed do to without raising suspicions.

“They will not live forever. One day…I will be free.”, she mumbles, yet Stan hears her.

He looks with his big brown eyes at her sadly.

“Bunny…you know how tensions are rising again. Our two lands could get to war anytime and we could face each other on the battlefield. What should we do then?”

The blond-haired woman bites her lips.

She doesn’t have an answer for that.

They part like they always part.

With a lot of kisses, bittersweet and painful, and promises of undying love.

Marianne wonders how long they can keep this going. It’s a miracle that in two years no one got suspensions on them, but how long will their luck last?

Is Stan right and war is on the horizon?

What should she do if she has to fight elves again? Stan’s friends, family, and brothers-in-arms.

What should she do if she had to fight Stan?

She doesn’t want to think about it.

A loud sign left her mouth.

Why can’t she be just happy with Stan?

Why was she born human and he elf?

Marianne feels like this famous female character in one of the plays she saw in the Kingdom.

Juliette was her name.

For Juliette and her Romeo, their love ended in death.

She doesn’t want this for her and Stan.

That’s when she sees a cloaked figure on the way to Kupa Keep. She takes note of this person because they can barely stand. They shake uncontrolled and breathe really heavily.

“Hey, traveler, you all right?”, she asks, walking faster to reach them.

It’s good that she does it since the unknown person loses their stepping and falls down on the ground!

“Hamburgers!”

She kneels down and helps the traveler to sit up. This way the hood of the person falls off.

Marianne can see that the poor soul is a young woman.

Dirty, matted long brown hair which smells like rotten food cascades down to her wide hips. She wears a pink-blue magician outfit, which the female magicians of the Land of the Winning Sun are famous for.

The paladin gasped, while the mage groans, her eyes rolling into her head. The poor girl fainted.

Winning Sun was conquered two months ago and they have heard that the Purist of the True Light killed all the magicians there.

All, besides the woman in her arms it seems.

Determined Marianne takes her bridal style, making haste to Kupa Keep.

She will be damned if someone dies under her eyes!

Check out my New Kid Series Codename: Dovahkiin Stick of Truth and Friendly Faces Everywhere for canon South Park :D

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[imxthexhandler]

In the name of the Moon

(A random thing for @koiwrites that turned out so much longer than I planned it to!)

Amelia pouted, staring at her computer screen, sighing heavily in vexation. Of all the damned luck… Her character died last session, and given the limited funds of the party, it was very doubtful a resurrection would be doable. Damn. She really liked her paladin, she spent so much time crafting her backstory and everything. It wasn’t her DM’s fault; she was fair. It was just the roll of the dice as it went.

She worked with the DM, trying to craft a new character to be at level five like the others. She just…was stuck on what actually to make. In light of the last battle, she was considering a cleric. She just…still was drawing a blank. And with D&D to start in a couple of hours at the game shop, she really did not have the time to dawdle.

She finished her iced coffee (well, it was generous to call it an iced coffee anymore, since the ice had long melted) before biting the bullet, selecting the race as half-elf and the name of Celeste as a Cleric level five, Light domain. Okay, there. It was done, finally. She could come up with the details later when she actually got to the session.

She settled her nerves by watching a couple of short cooking videos before she packed up and left the campus library, making it to the shop ten minutes before the session was going to start.

“Hi, Uncle Stan!” Amelia chimed happily, greeting the store owner as she stepped inside.

“Hey, kid,” the elder gentleman greeted with a friendly smile and a wave. His sunglasses, so shiny as usual that it shone her reflection clearly. “May all your rolls be crits!” he cheered her before.

“Thank you!” she chimed, heading towards the back where the gaming tables were already set up. Tonight, she was the last player at their table to arrive, but at least she was still there on time. “Hey, guys,” she greeted the Dungeon Master and their other four players, taking the one empty seat, in between the Dungeon Master, Mary, and Peter, another nerdy college student like Amelia.

“Alright, well, I know it’s a little early, but we can go ahead and start if everyone is ready?” Mary offered, looking over her players. There was no objection, and she smirked faintly. “Time to play. Now, picking up where we left off…”

Forty minutes into the gaming session, Amelia’s character made her entrance to help defend the party against the cultist necromancer.

“Amelia, if you would please describe your character for the table,” Mary requested.

Inwardly, Amelia panicked. Even though, yes, she knew this was coming, she still hadn’t come up with any solid ideas. “Um, well…” She nervously bit her bottom lip, when she saw a wall scroll on display—with Sailor Moon. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Okay, so, out of the dust, she comes out, her long, silvery hair blowing in the wind behind her, her scale mail armor shimmering like a beacon of hope. Staring down the necromancer, she points at him with her mace and declares, ‘I am Celeste, devout acolyte of Selûne, the Moonmaiden! Stand down, or you shall be punished for your crimes’!”

There was a small pause before another player, named Eve, asked, “Did you just base your Cleric off Sailor Moon?”

Amelia realized how it did sound, and her cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, smiling sheepishly. “Maybe?” she squeaked. The table erupted with good-natured laughter. Once it died down, Mary had Amelia roll for initiative.

Combat continued on for another forty-five minutes, and it got a bit dicey as Amelia nearly lost her second player character when the necromancer attempted to cast Disintegrate on Celeste, only for a Counter Spell from Peter’s character to save the day.

Caught in the moment of the roller coaster of emotions, Amelia turned and hugged Peter tightly, her eyes almost welling up with relieved, happy tears, thanking him repeatedly before she accidentally kissed his hair. Her cheeks heated up with a blush as she realized what she did but hoping that Peter, somehow, didn’t feel it, the college student pulled back and laughed nervously. “Oh, thank God, thanks, man. I didn’t want to make another character!” Amelia remarked then sighed heavily with relief as she leaned back into her seat, looking over the battlefield.

In the end, Amelia was the one to strike the final blow against their enemy, rolling a crit on her Guiding Bolt.

“And as you call down your last bolt, strengthened by your faith, the entire frame of the necromancer seems to flash silver and white, their skeleton briefly lighting up before—poof! He crumbles into a pile of grey ash, discarded and blowing in the wind,” Mary dramatically narrated. Since it was at a good stopping point, and finals were about this week for many college students, the decision was made to end the session there. The redheaded DM wished her players luck with their finals and packed up before heading off to go relax before her shift began at a local bar. “See you all again next week!” she chimed, waving them goodbye.

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Mettle Of A Man; Part Six

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

“General!” 

  The unfamiliar voice roused Danse from his staring match with the coffee pot and he lunged to his feet, Righteous Authority at the ready.

  “At ease, Paladin. It's one of my friends.” Backhand soothed him, waving at the young man striding through the tatos towards them. “Preston! What brings you to this corner of the wilderness?” 

  Preston was on the taller side, well-built and wearing a strange combination of period clothing that Danse quickly identified as a higher-ranking Minuteman’s uniform. A scar hugged the brown skin on his left cheek, its path similar to Maxson's (though not as deep). His eyes, while kind, were haunted even in the bright light of morning.

  “We got the radio set back up in The Castle, and then we tuned into a repeating distress signal from a weird short-range frequency. Figured it was worth checking out.” The Minuteman touched the large brim of his odd hat while speaking to Backhand, almost like he was deferring to her. "You might have sent a message warning us that a Brotherhood research contingent was on their way. I'm not sayin' we would have left the queen untouched , but...well, you know how much folks around here like their seafood."

  Preston Garvey ( head lieutenant of the Commonwealth Minutemen ) didn't appear to have a malicious bone in his body, his handshake for Danse firm when Backhand introduced him. Danse found himself pinned by those intense brown eyes, the paladin squirming inwardly while the dark-skinned man studied him. 

  “You Brotherhood boys are bad news for the Commonwealth, but we can't exactly afford to be picky,” Preston stated bluntly with a disarming smile. “So, welcome aboard!”

  Danse felt his face go hot at the insinuation, opening his mouth to say... something , he wasn't sure what, but Preston was already refocusing on Knight Vega. Or should he say General Vega? This was the second time someone had referred to her as ‘General’. 

  Danse wasn't used to being so simply dismissed. He was, after all, a paladin . An overgrown specimen of a man in or out of his armor, with a carefully-crafted demeanor of stern authority. Preston didn't seem particularly rude though, mostly just exhausted. He had propped himself up with his laser musket as Backhand explained their mission of the day. Mainly, reacquire Danse's armor and mop up any remaining threats in Weston. 

  Danse realized he had no control in this operation as he was sans-armor and he almost laughed aloud at the role reversal in the field. Playing the damsel was definitely a novel sensation for the hulking paladin and he said as much, prompting Backhand into a fit of giggles.

  “Pretty sure I was the damsel at first, this guy has a hell of a throwing arm!” She informed Preston, thumbing the reinforced strapping of her combat armor. “Tossed me like I was a skipping rock!”

  “You threw the General?!” Preston sputtered.

  “It was a reflex .” Danse stressed the word, flustered. 

  “Yeah but you threw a whole human being? ” The Minuteman asked incredulously. “I mean, damn, what do they feed you guys?”

  “To be fair, the power armor enhances-”

  “Oh yeah, and he can move his armor even when the core's blown.” Backhand tacked on like she was a proud parent. Preston looked at Danse a little sideways, as though he suspected Knight Vega was talking him up. 

  But the Minuteman simply shrugged after a moment, adjusting his hat. “So what's the plan, General? I'm going to assume it's his armor that was pinging the distress signal.”

  Danse's breath hitched as it dawned on him that yes , that was exactly what was happening. The severe damage would have activated the emergency beacon, just like with Brandis’ team. And if some haphazard, ramshackle radio at Fort Independence could pick it up…

  If it's been going off since last night ...

  Their beacons carried their call tags. The Prydwen would have known it was his armor specifically. They had vertibirds to spare, despite Maxon's posturing when they had departed. Surely there had to be some logical reason as to why no one from the Brotherhood had come to investigate the signal. Danse couldn't think of anything at the moment, but surely …

  …

  The armor was exactly where it had been yesterday, a protective shell resting on a leg and three-quarters. Seeing the damage up close was sobering for Backhand, and judging from Danse's stony expression he was in the same boat. 

  “At least it was super mutants. If it had been raiders or, God forbid, gunners …” Preston trailed off, touching the brim of his hat. His hand shook a little.

  “I know, trust me. We would have been in for a really terrible time.” Backhand muttered.

  Danse, who had been essentially silent, abruptly began speaking. “Back in the Capital Wasteland, I once took an Enclave bullet to the leg. Hit a rust patch just right. Penetrated my armor and shredded my calf. I learned then that our equipment is not infallible by any stretch of the imagination.” Danse's fists were tight at his sides. “It's... distressing when a soldier jettisons his gear in combat, but I'll be fine.”

  "You think you can get it working again?"

  Danse scoffed at Preston's query, a grin quirking his lips as he tugged a fresh core out of one of his utility pouches. "Give me an hour. I'm no proctor, but I know a thing or two about my own armor." 

  The paladin muscled his armor onto its back, looking for all the world like he was slowly grappling with the empty suit. Backhand fought the urge to snort, shifting her attention back to Preston instead. "So how's Independence coming, hot shot?" She jibed, making him give her a tentative, self-conscious smile.

  "Really well, I'd say. Crops are planted, we have 'round the clock radio coverage and old Minutemen are showing up to get their transponders re-tuned for our new frequency!" Preston replied excitedly. "We gotta' get yours fixed up too, General."

  "You're still accepting the deserters?" Backhand wasn't exactly surprised , but it was a little strange to see how enthused Preston was about welcoming old Minutemen back into the fold. 

  "W-Well, new recruits are coming in too! We needed more trainers and-" Preston hurried to justify himself and Backhand jostled his shoulder.

  " Relax , tight lace, I'm only teasing. It's any port in a storm. No matter what you've done, you know I'm proud of you." She said softly. Preston's cheeks darkened further with a ruddy flush, the young man coughing and tugging bashfully at the brim of his hat. 

  "That's...real kind of you to say, General." He muttered after a second. 

  "I try to only speak the truth with my friends." Backhand gestured vaguely towards the paladin who was straightening out the plating on the torso of his armor. "Sometimes they're a little... hardheaded , but I know it'll get through to them eventually." Her statement was pointed enough that Preston raised an eyebrow. "He's a decent man. Something is fucked up between him and their leader, Maxson. I'm not quite sure what ." She continued in an undertone.

  "Careful about how deep you're digging the hole, General." Preston warned. "Brotherhood's got a fanaticism that's borderline religious."

  "Garvey, I was in the original . If there's one thing I'm familiar with, it's military maniacs."

  "Fair enough I suppose." Preston fanned himself with his hat, idly watching Danse beat his armor back into shape. "He's good looking, I'll give him that. Penchant for a type, General Vega?" He teased with a smile.

  "I can neither confirm nor deny!" Backhand laughed, "you're nosier than a pre-war tabloid journalist, Garvey. Planning on taking up with Piper?"

  "If it helps spread the word about the Minutemen, absolutely!" 

  The two of them lapsed into a companionable silence for several minutes. Danse abruptly glanced up, the lack of conversation seeming to penetrate his single-minded focus. "Am I being too loud?" He asked awkwardly. "I can try to be quieter." 

  "Nah, keep doing what you were doing." Garvey gave him a wave that was almost lazy. "I'm just taking in the scenery." 

  …

  The plan that Knight Vega proposed was ludicrously simple. 

  She had found a metal bucket in one of the trailers beside the water treatment plant. She would put her Pip Boy into it, turn on the radio and set the volume to max. Hopefully the racket would lure any remaining mutants out of the facility, wherein the all too eager trio would fall upon them with gusto.

  Preston was game for it as well, already cranking up the power in his laser musket as Backhand settled the bucket on its side by the front doors. 

  The usual vein of music issued from the Pip Boy, echoing a little in the bucket. Blaring brass overpowered any of the more delicate parts of the tune and Backhand laughed, playfully extending a hand to Preston. "Dance with me, LT? I'm sure we've got a few minutes."

  To Danse's utter dismay, the Minuteman did just that. Surely, this was some breach of protocol? The young man referred to her as his superior officer! Regardless of how lax their standards were, this couldn't possibly be proper. This…

  This was the most precious thing he had ever seen.

  Danse would be eternally grateful for the rigorous self control that enabled him to school his face into a neutral expression. Preston wasn't a half-bad dancer but Backhand was terrible , just downright uncoordinated. 

  The two of them were laughing like they had forgotten the issue at hand and for one blissful second, Danse found himself strangely at peace. Just watching both individuals fumble through some semblance of a dance he would never know, grinning and poking fun, entirely unconcerned about the world around them. 

  Danse was used to being watched. Scrutinized. Held to a higher standard than anyone else around him due to rank or simple expectation. Knight Vega...he should say something. Tell her to shape up. This behavior was unacceptable . Maxson could have her stripped of her probationary knight rank for this. Maxson could…

  Maxson . 

  The paladin gritted his teeth. 

  Elder Maxson could do a lot of things. The intensity of the depression that followed the thought startled even Danse. It was like a wet blanket wrapping itself around his entire body. Maxson could do a lot of things. He could have ended this before it even started. He could have mounted the assault when Brandis' team vanished. He could have-

  The doors to the complex swung wide open, four super mutants sprinting out. Danse's heart leaped into his throat. 

  Backhand and Preston-!  

  His body moved without thought, the armored paladin placing himself between the threat and the two who were now scrambling to prepare themselves. Danse cracked his knuckles in his gauntlets, bullets whipping through the air by his head. Three of the mutants were only armed with boards and sledgehammers, but the largest one carried a rifle of some kind. 

  A musket shot boomed from behind the paladin, pulping the head of one of the mutants. Danse surmised coldly that it must have been Preston's kill. Danse wasn't unarmed, but the enemy also wasn't inclined to give him the time to sling his laser rifle back around, and so it was with his armored fists that he rushed the trigger-happy mutant.

  …

  "Gotcha'!" Backhand's shotgun sounded off, the loud report muffled by the way she had rammed the barrel into the mutant's chest. Beside her, Preston kept winding up his musket to power his next shot. That first shot had been just what the doctor ordered, quickly putting the odds more in their favor. 

  There was a loud, angry grunt and Backhand looked up to see a super mutant go sailing past her and slam through the side of one of the trailers. Preston gaped at the sight, ceasing to crank his musket momentarily. 

  A roar of " abomination! " echoed through the courtyard, the sheer volume of it enough to give Backhand pause. The paladin had gotten too close to the mutant with the gun for the creature to continue to use it effectively and Danse pressed his advantage. Backhand watched slightly dumbfounded while the large man went toe to toe with the massive mutant. 

  The mutant yammered at Danse, nonsensical rambling about cracking him open and the paladin repaid those threats with his metal-plated fists. "Should we…?" Preston queried. Apparently neither of them needed to worry as Danse proceeded to shoulder check the mutant, forcing it backwards through the doors into the building.

  "It's probably therapeutic for him. He really, really hates muties." Backhand couldn't help but still feel slightly concerned and she sighed. "C'mon, let's make sure he's not getting devoured."

  …

  Danse manhandled the beast through two walls until he found one sturdy enough for him to pin the mutant against. It squirmed and struggled against the iron grip he had on its throat, choking out more insane nonsense. "This is for Cutler, you freak ." Danse's voice cracked as he drew his fist back.

  "You okay in here, Paladin?" Backhand's voice distracted him momentarily and the paladin paused. " Danse? "

  His fist crushed the mutant's skull, sending bone and brain flying. Danse released the now-dead mutant, shaking his gauntlet and hissing at the pain. Inadvertently punching a wall was assuredly not his finest moment. "Yes, Knight Vega?" He called.

  She carefully picked her way over the two piles of rubble that had previously been walls, her shotgun ready. Behind her came Preston, sweeping corners in a practiced manner. "Just making sure nothing happened. You know we're supposed to be sticking together." Her tone was playfully chiding, even though her eyes betrayed a startling level of concern.

  "Figured I should grab the opportunity by the throat." Danse answered after a moment of silent contemplation. 

  To his credit, Preston did attempt to keep his laughter under control. Vega grinned at her snickering lieutenant, patting his shoulder and then squinting at Danse. "You better watch it, Paladin. I'll have you written up for bullheaded heroics or something."

  "A fate worse than death." Danse replied dryly. "Though I'm afraid your report would fall on deaf ears."

  "Too true. You would probably be promoted to...double paladin, or whatever the next rank is for you." 

  "Knight sergeant."

  "What?! But paladin sounds way cooler!" Backhand protested indignantly while Preston started laughing all over again. "The whole point of moving up in the chain of command is to get a better name! Even I know that." She teased.

  Danse felt like he was back on the Prydwen attempting to educate a mess hall full of squires. "Well, I could be promoted to star paladin. But that's very unlikely." He explained. "They are exceptionally rare, akin to sentinels."

  " Star paladin?" Backhand looked like she was about to burst with curiosity. 

  "Yes. They are paladins who have been specially recognized for their dedication or ferocity in battle." 

  "Uh General, not to cut this short, but-" Preston began hurriedly, rechecking the levels on his undoubtedly finicky musket. 

  "Right, yeah, job to do." 

  Danse finally swung his rifle around, doing a quick run-through of all the switches before he turned on the tact-light, beautifully illuminating the dust his demolition-style entry had stirred up. 

  He proceeded deeper into the facility, purposely taking point despite his unarmored head. Preston flanked him on the left while Backhand walked drag, their footsteps all but silent in the wake of the larger man's sabatons. "Remain vigilant." Danse cautioned.

  "D'you think there's anything else in here?" Preston whispered, "I feel like they would have come for us."

  "I've actually been in here before, last time the basement was flooded and there were mirelurks," Backhand muttered. "I was doing a favor for those 'bots at Graygarden."

  "No rest for the wicked when it comes to you, eh General?" Preston quipped.

  "Listen, I feel like making friends with the agriculturally-inclined robots is definitely a good strategy." She reasoned. "After all, they can work around the clock and everything!"

  Danse hushed the two of them, leading with the barrel of his rifle. The tact-light flickered as he continued their sweep, ears open for any signs of hostiles. 

  ...

  Backhand tapped at the compass of her Pip Boy, scrolling the compass display a full three hundred and sixty degrees. Her scroll jerked to a halt when two red ticks appeared, ahead and to the right.

  "Bogey at two o'clock." She whispered. Danse nodded grimly and Preston flipped the crank over to prime his musket. 

  Now Backhand could actually hear sounds, an odd snuffling and scraping noise. A hound, maybe?

  Danse clearly heard it as well, the man advancing into the next room and sweeping the corners with his rail-mounted flashlight.

  Something skittered by just outside the light, vanishing into a gap in the crumbling wall. Danse wordlessly stormed forward and with one brutal motion he rammed his gauntlet through the plaster and heaved out--

  A child?

  The paladin froze, one large metal hand wrapped around the leg of the waif he had just forcibly extracted. The little boy screamed and flailed in Danse's hold, tiny fists beating a tattoo on the gauntlet that suspended him upside down in midair. He was filthy , clad in a dingy pair of overalls. He had a cut over his right eye, possibly from Danse's speedy removal.

  For the barest, heartbreaking second, Backhand thought that it was Shaun. But no, no, she was imagining things. 

  "Whoa, easy there." She breathed, trying to get her heart to stop hammering. Danse still hadn't moved. "Hey, hey hey, look at me." She caught one of the child's arms, easily dodging the bite he aimed at her hand. " Easy big fella', we aren't going to hurt you." Backhand soothed, "you're okay. Were you hiding from the muties?"

  "Big d-d-dog tried t-to eat m-m-me." The little boy hiccupped, changing his tune instantly and clinging to her arm as Danse carefully, carefully set him down. "H-Hid in the wall. M-My mama, she told me not t-to wander off, b-b-but it got dark and I g-got lost." he sobbed, rubbing his eyes. 

  Backhand reached into her satchel and pulled out Sergeant Cathan's 'lucky' bandanna. With gentle precision she wrapped it around the little boy's hand, knotting it at his wrist. "I need you to do me a favor, okay?" She asked seriously. "I need you to hold onto this bandanna for me. It's lucky, but only if you're holding it super tight. Can you make sure we stay lucky?"

  The child frowned after a moment, sniffling and then gripping down on the bandanna. Backhand heaved a mental sigh of relief, thankful that the distraction tactic had worked. Sometimes she couldn't get her target to buy into the grift; it was always a gamble. Sergeant Cathan had taught her (long ago and far away now) the benefits of implication, suggestion and placebo effects on survivors. She had carried the 'lucky' bandanna since her honorable discharge, it being one of the few possessions she had refused to relinquish even while being sealed in cryogenic stasis. It made her feel a little warm inside to be able to use it's so-called powers for good once more.

  " It doesn't have to be real. It doesn't have to be lucky, or important, or special in any way ." The sergeant had informed her when he explained the trick of distraction. " All it needs is belief, Backhand. That's it. If you can get them to believe in it, the hard part is already over ." 

  "Okay kiddo, how about we bring you back outside?" Preston cajoled gently with a smile. "You want something to eat?" The little boy nodded furiously, his eyes wide in the glow of Danse's rail-light. "Alright, take my hand. You're gonna' be just fine." 

  A loud howl echoed down the hallway and Danse jerked to attention, his rifle snapping upwards. "Go, get out!" He demanded Preston, "pick up the child and go! Knight Vega, on my six, now! " He barked.

  Backhand thanked God that Preston was the type to help first and ask questions later, the young man easily scooping the little boy up in his arms and ducking out in the direction of the foyer. Danse shone his light back down the hallway, illuminating a hound so old its green skin had gone gunmetal gray. It sampled the air and bayed hoarsely, milky eyes staring ahead. It was ancient, obviously blind, possibly deaf-

  Danse pulled his trigger once, and then a second time for good measure. Backhand noticed that his hands were shaking as he straightened up. He strode forward to the end of the hall, shoving the dog's body aside without so much as looking at it.

  Backhand looked down at her compass, scrolling it this way and that. But it was empty, no signatures reading on it whatsoever. "Paladin, I think that's it." She said, holding her arm up so he could see her use the compass.

  Danse nodded in an absent manner, still looking down the hall and running his light over the walls around him. 

  "We should get back outside. Make sure Preston and that kiddo are okay." Backhand suggested gently.

  "I could have killed that child."

  Ah . Backhand understood why his hands were trembling now. She let him carry on with his double-check, giving him the time he needed to decide whether he would say more.

  "I...I could have…" Backhand heard him swallow, the noise loud in the silence. " Christ , Vega. I'm not setting a very good example for you, am I. We were almost killed by a behemoth due to my own inattention, I had to jettison my power armor, my helmet is unsalvageable , and I very nearly slaughtered a lost child."

  "It's been a hell of a shakedown campaign." Backhand agreed, pushing the glasses up on her nose. "Imagine the trouble we could get into if we keep sticking together." 

  Danse's laughter was a grim bark of a noise, the paladin nodding his head ruefully. "Just imagine. If I keep up my trajectory, the Commonwealth will be in flames by tomorrow morning."

  Backhand placed a wary hand on his gauntlet, fingers grazing the worn red-orange paint that denoted his rank. " Or it'll be a better place." She reasoned, patting his arm and turning on her heel. "Now, c'mon. We've got a little one to return to his parents." She urged, waving the paladin on.

  Preston had made it safely outside, the man still cradling the child as Backhand emerged from the double doors onto the front steps of the establishment. He raised his brows in question. 

  "There was an old hound, probably too old to hunt anymore. Blind." Backhand explained, sliding her satchel around and digging through it until her fingers brushed the plastic-wrapped snack. "Ah, here we go. You must be hungry, right slugger?" She asked the little boy, extracting the snack cake from her bag and waving it to catch his attention. "How about you munch on this until we get back to Oberland, and then my friend Preston will see about finding your parents. That sound good to you?"

  The boy nodded, still sniffling but eagerly accepting the pre-war confection. 

  "You still got that bandanna? I know you must have held onto it real tight, because that hound didn't even know we were there!" Backhand praised with a grin, thrilled when the child gave her a weak smile in return.

  Danse emerged from the building, towering over the trio in his armor. "It seems that beast was the last holdout." He said finally, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "Have you checked the child for injuries?"

  The cut over the little boy's eye had already stopped bleeding, and aside from a few minor scrapes and bruises he appeared to be fine. Obviously his largest issues were being lost and hungry. Preston continued to hold the child while Backhand cleaned the dried blood off his forehead, well aware of the eyes trained on her. "There. You'll be just fine." She assured the boy, barely resisting the urge to kiss the bandage and instead kissing her fingertips to press against the bandage. After all, she wasn't this kid's mom. 

  "A-Are you the Minutemen?" The little boy asked after a moment of hesitation. "My papa said you guys help people."

  "We are! Good guess." Preston praised, adjusting his hold on the kid so he could tip his hat. " There at a minute's notice , or that's the idea anyway." 

  "Let's move out. The sooner we get to Oberland, the sooner you can broadcast your APB on him." Vega adjusted her satchel and began carefully picking her way back through the flooded area, boots sloshing in the water. "What's your name, wall boy?"

  "Matt." The child replied through a mouthful of cake. "Mat'ew Amadeus O'Brian."

  Backhand blinked, a little stunned at the elaborate name that the kid had rattled off. "Well, Matthew Amadeus O'Brian , my name is Elizabeth Backhand Vega, and the nice man being your legs right now is Preston Garvey." She hooked a thumb over her shoulder, indicating the silent paladin who was bringing up the rear of their little party. "The big one is Paladin Danse."

  "He's big," Matt repeated, watching the paladin narrowly before tacking on, "An' scary ."

  "He's not really scary, but it's easy to think that." Backhand could almost feel Danse growing more and more tense. "He's sorry for surprising you earlier, I promise!" 

  Matt's eyes stayed suspiciously squinted at the paladin, the little boy continuing to inhale the snack cake. "Are you sure? " He asked in a stage whisper. "'Cuz he looks angry. Like how my papa looks when he says I'm bein' too os'servant ."

  Preston snickered at that. "You must be real observant then, if your folks are scolding you for it."

  Matt puffed out his chest a bit, stating proudly that, "My mama says I've got good eyes and nothin' between them. Then, she laughs."

  Danse made a choking noise, the large man obviously attempting to stifle his mirth. "Your mother sounds immensely charitable." He remarked, a faint smile playing across his mouth.

  The little boy looked befuddled for a moment, pursing his lips. "I 'unno what that means, but I love my mama. So that better not be somethin' nasty." Clearly, the child had recovered some of his original pep, no doubt aided by the copious amounts of sugar in that snack cake. "Otherwise I'll kick your butt." 

  "Whoa now, language." Preston chided gently.

  "He started it!" Matthew protested, "callin' my mama some...carrot, carrotible ."

  " Charitable . It means good, kind. Even when you don't have to be." Backhand laughed as she explained, watching the realization dawn on the kid.

  "Oh. Okay then. That's fine." The child allowed, "as long as it's nothin' bad."

  ...

  Danse wiped the sweat from his brow, hammering the last nail into place. There . With the metal scrap and lumber they had salvaged from the area surrounding the station, Danse actually managed to cobble together a half perimeter fence that was a bit more fortified than the old chain link lining the once-uniform garden. It wasn't anything incredible , but it wouldn't fall over at the next stiff breeze. 

  Upon their arrival, Knight Vega had sat Matt down by the old pump out front of the station and carefully scrubbed the rest of the child's face clean. The boy somehow managed to keep up a constant stream of chatter even as he was being scoured to within an inch of his life. Danse knew he ought to find it irritating, as his entire military career he had been taught that squires should be seen and not heard, but instead he found it oddly endearing. 

  Preston had eventually managed to raise the Castle (or rather, Fort Independence), the Minuteman relaying the information that they had acquired a precocious young man by the name of Matthew Amadeus O'Brian. 

  Preston and Backhand had kept busy in the aforementioned garden for most of the day, tearing up weeds and tilling the soil. The two had an easy rapport, going back and forth on a variety of topics. Matt occasionally chimed in around a mouthful of almost gone-by tato, the child more than eager to assist in the stripping and demolishing of the plants.

  Danse had half-listened to their chatter while he engaged wholeheartedly in building the defenses up as best as he could, wanting desperately to make himself useful even as he soaked up the conversation. Agriculture had never been his strong suit. Coming from the Capital Wasteland, he was incredibly leery of any produce borne of the radiation-rich soil. He certainly didn't eat any of it without properly preparing it. This led to less adventurous but also less dangerous meals, the vegetables usually gray and tasteless from their time in the pot of his mess kit.

  Danse took a step back to admire his handiwork. It had been too long since he was able to actually devote the time to a task that it required, instead of just smashing resources together and hoping they held. He knew it was technically a fence made out of the refuse of the area, nothing to be proud of, but he relished the opportunity to craft something useful.

  He heard a low whistle from behind him and realized that Preston was looking up at the fortifications, a massive grin on his face. "Damn, we could have used you at the Castle!" The Minuteman commented, clapping a hand on Danse's shoulder. "You got the place squared away in half the time, color me impressed."

  "Being able to find or create a defensible position is a necessary skill for field ops. You never know when you may need to bivouac in less than hospitable territory." Danse knew he must sound unbearably stiff, and he grimaced inwardly at his casual usage of the word bivouac . That had been something from Cutler's verbiage. "This wall should function optimally, but it can always be improved upon."

  "I appreciate it. The Minutemen thank you for your assistance." Preston said warmly, his hand squeezing Danse's shoulder gently before he turned back towards the garden. "General, we should probably break for dinner! I know you two will be leavin' early tomorrow, wouldn't want you to be overtired." He called to Backhand, who tossed him a thumbs-up.

  Danse opened his mouth, hesitated, and then carefully stated, "if we stay another day, I may be able to erect something for the lower side of the hill. It won't be as tall as this, but as it's the lower hillside, inhabitants will have a better chance of spotting the enemy and preparing."

  Preston's eyebrows shot up. "You'd do that for us? I'd be incredibly grateful, I'll be honest. We're spread so thin, I'm probably only going to have one armed individual to assign to this outpost. Whatever help you can give-"

  "Only one?" Danse looked at the copious tilled soil, his brow furrowed in thought. "You may have too many resources here for you to defend them with just one gun and a wall of scrap, Lieutenant Garvey."

  "At the moment, the only resource is the water pump. I'm hopin' by the time the crops pop, we'll be a little fatter in our ranks. If not, well, I'm always up for extra field duty." Preston drew a finger along the brim of his large hat, sighing. "Nobody said it would be easy, y'know?"

  Danse nodded. He knew overwell the disproportionate work load that a commander must shoulder in exchange for the safety and stability of their regiment.

  After a hearty supper of some of the remaining tatos (safely over-stewed to within an inch of their lives), canned beans and fresh-last-week bread that Preston had brought with him, Danse took up his post along the defenses he had built. His armor creaked a little louder than normal, but he supposed that was to be expected after the beating it had taken.

  Backhand had been quiet during their dinner. He assumed she was simply tired. He could hardly blame her; it had been a very eventful few days. 

  Danse bit his lip. He knew he ought to be rushing back to the Prydwen, but he felt an odd sense of responsibility for this new development. After all , he reasoned, what better way to win hearts and minds for the Brotherhood? Showing that they were benevolent, willing to work with existing factions regardless of their differences…

  Well, at least Danse was at any rate. And with a little luck, his obviously-high rank would convince the battered survivors of post-apocalyptic New England that the whole of the Brotherhood was here to help.

  Possibly in spite of Maxson's lofty aspirations for wiping out the Institute. What good was it to remove the proverbial boogeyman of the Commonwealth if the Brotherhood's resources were stripped from the campaign? The more prudent option would be to gain the trust of the locals, and then press them for support should the need arise. 

  That was all he was doing. Gaining the trust of the locals.

  He glanced up at the light that wavered in the window of the towering station. He could imagine Knight Vega tucking the little boy in, maybe pressing a kiss to his forehead…

  Danse's heart ached. She had lost her son, he recalled, though she hadn't said how . He couldn't even begin to imagine the agony of losing a child. Losing Cutler was devastating enough.

  When Vega came out to relieve him at two hundred hours, Danse noted that she still looked worn. Her eyes were puffy, like she had been crying. "Tell me about what happened to your son, Knight." He requested quietly. 

  "That's...it's kind of a long story, Paladin." She tried to brush him off, fiddling with her combat armor straps. "You should sleep."

  "That's an order, Knight."

  Vega hiccupped, her sob rattling Danse's composure. "The Institute. They...they ripped him right out of my arms in the Vault." She whispered. "The stasis was put on hold, somehow , and they just...they took him. The next thing I knew, I was waking up alone." She stared at the ground. "I know it was the Institute. I know there's a way in. But I don't know...God, Danse, what if he's dead? " She asked helplessly.

  Even though he hadn’t known, Danse still felt like a bastard for making her relive that horror. She had been so sure before, so certain that her child was alive. But now for whatever reason, she was entertaining the alternative and Danse was lost . What the hell could he even say?

  "You didn't let me give up on Paladin Brandis." He pointed out. "So I'm not letting you give up on your son."

  "Is that an order, sir?"

  "A promise , Knight, not an order." Danse saluted her sharply, his gauntlet clattering on his breastplate. "As a Brotherhood of Steel paladin, I swear to you that I will do all I can to help uncover the truth of what happened to your son. And for as long as feasibly possible, we will operate under the assumption that he is alive and well. If we give in to despair, then they've already won."

  Backhand looked up at him, her expression distraught. Danse didn't expect her to wrap her arms around his armor, the woman barely able to reach past his sides due to the bulky frame. She tucked her face against the handles on his breastplate and Danse was terrified of making the wrong move. So he stayed still, one massive gauntlet eventually moving forward to cautiously rest on her back. 

  "We will find him." He assured her softly. "I promise."

Part Seven

[dazlinn909]

Multiple characters only because it's not that hard. 18+ cause I like to write smut it makes it exotic.

Stick of truth au.

King Kyle who loves his knight Stan and definitely forced Stan go join him in his kingly bed willing or unwilling Stan we can decide, can't go against the kings wishes!

Wendy is one Kyle's advisers since the elves are more progressive she definitely finds the kings personal guard attractive, of course it's rumored the last person to like Stan was banished by Kyle. He denies it though.

Cartman is arranging to marry princess Kenny who doesn't want to but she wants the status that comes with it and better things for her people and princess Karen 💕 so she's more willing to sacrifice her happiness. Not to mention the wizard kings right hand man the paladin is awfully cute too Kenny.

Clyde is trying to build up his Kingdom tired of living in wizard village since Cartman was always mean to him.

Craig who does a lot of Clyde's dirty work since yeah fuck the system let's go start our own. If you're lucky enough to see him when he's not sneaking around on a mission or just stealing from both kingdoms to pawn it. Everyone finds him handsome of course. I like crenny but creek is negotiable.

The girls can be hand maidens to Kenny or work with Wendy or be fairies or be princess from other small kingdoms.

I support Damien being the king of dark elves or a fire like land but you can probably get magic spells to help with the heat if you're not from the land like Pip lol who is a regular forest elf like Kyle's people. But Damien likes his women/men I support either gender Pip to trap Damien with a baby lol 😂 to be exotic and usually not the same species as himself

The goths live in Damien's part of the land. Since the dark Forest is dark for them or if it's on fire it's nice and red glowy.

Prince Ike who has taken a liking to princess could be Damien's child from previous encounter at a young age or just dark elf Firkle. Which both the old king and queen frown on excepting both sons to marry a pure elfish girl and give them heirs in their sick ages which is why Kyle's leading king.

I just wrote like 10 plot lines for 10 different people lol cause see how exciting and easy it is to be multiple people! All living different lives and doing different things!

[mayflowers07]

Continuation of this post for my Out-of-Character (or maybe better said as unexpected) DnD classes for the Hermits because I’ve come up with everyone else

Like Scar, most give Cub some form of magic to do with the Vex, making him a wizard or a sorcerer. However Cub is a sneaky businessman so I propose to you: Cub as a rogue that uses tricks and gadgets to fake having magic

It would make sense to give Cleo some form of magical alignment to explain her rising from the dead, probably a necromancer gone wrong or something. But I’ve been watching her play a lot of Fallout and Cleo with a gun makes my sapphic heart happy, so I’ve decided that she will be a fighter with the subclass of gunslinger

So initially I jumped on the idea of TFC as essentially an artificer dwarf, especially with a magical mechanical prosthetic leg. However I love the wise-old-man stereotype and after years of adventuring he’s probably a seasoned fighter and disciplined warrior. So how about TFC as a monk, probably following either the Way of Mercy or the Way of Tranquility? Bonus if he acts as a mentor of sorts to Bdubs the younger monk as well

Beef as a melee class? As something muscular and powerful to make sense of the blood on his clothes? Nah, lets make Beef a bard who builds and sells his own magical infused instruments and discs and can entangle spells in the stories he tells

Mumbo is most obviously an artificer because of all the redstone stuff. But Mumbo irl is actually pretty built, very tall, and was pretty decent at archery and axe throwing, so how funny would it be if he was a brawling fighter?

Taking inspiration from other AUs, I bet Jevin’s squishy slime body would be very good at squeezing into tight spaces and sneaking into places he shouldn’t be. Of course Jevin being a neon blue slime doesn’t exactly help him with the whole rogue thing and going unnoticed but he somehow makes do

Tango is also quite good at redstone so again artificer is too obvious. But I headcanon him as a nether being, so why don’t we assume that nether beings have inherent magical abilities like dragonborn and that he uses magic to enhance his redstone, so that way he’s a sorcerer?

Similar to Tango, I think I want to give Impulse some magic. But he needed to practice to break bedrock and learn how to do it, plus I want him to be a foil to Tango’s naturally-achieved magic. Therefore I dub Impulse as a wizard

And how iconic is it if Zedaph of all people is the tough af melee member of the Team ZIT? If he’s the muscle? I love the idea that he is sworn loyalty to his friends and he wants them to achieve greatness and that’s his driving force (plus we stan Team ZIT in this house) so how about him as a paladin who’s taken the Oath of Glory?

Admittedly I don’t watch a whole lot of Hypno, so I was initially lost on him, but I have an idea. However I have been watching the past few episodes of him breeding the villagers to get better and better arrows, which is vaguely dark and horrifying when you think about it. So anyone for warlock Hypno whose staple move is charming/feebleminding/causing hallucinations (basically hypnotizing) people?

I definitely want Xisuma as something magical and powerful, but I feel like warlock or wizard is too stereotypical. We are talking about the appointed gardener of the shopping district, and he is the man who changes his skin to match an animals every season. I feel like druid is a good fit then

Keralis is definitely a tricky one, but he really loves his friends. He just seems like the type of man that would do anything to protect them, and I mean anything. How cursed is it then if Keralis is the world’s friendliest, most loving barbarian who would throw himself into any fight to protect the other Hermits?

Mr. xB 1) loves his dog quite a lot, 2) likes to build away from everyone else and prefers to be alone in nature over people, and 3) seems to take a distant, support role in most conflicts. Therefore xB is going to be a ranger. Basic? Yes. Fitting? Also yes.

Listen am I tempted to make this sneaky ninja man rogue or a samurai fighter? Obviously yes. Am I instead going to take inspiration from Critical Role and make Etho a cleric of the trickster domain because I think Etho as a cleric that hates/refuses to heal people and who worships his god by playing pranks and lying to people is hilarious? Also yes.

Finally we have Iskall, also someone who would fit most obviously a melee class due to his “hitman”/ “Iskallman” personas. But we are talking about the man who cheated death by winning demise. Therefore I propose Iskall as a Wizard from the School of Necromancy who is actually quite nice considering how sinister his powers may seem

TL;DR here’s a summary of everyone’s classes I’ve assigned in this AU

(If you don’t look at this list and go “wtf” at least once I did it wrong)

Artificer: Stress (Alchemist)

Barbarian: Grian and Keralis

Bard: Wels and Beef

Blood Hunter: False

Cleric: Scar and Etho (Trickster Domain)

Druid: Doc and Xisuma

Fighter: Cleo (gunslinger) and Mumbo

Monk: Bdubs and TFC (Way of Mercy or Way of Tranquility)

Paladin: Zedaph (Oath of Glory)

Ranger: Joe and xB

Rogue: Cub and Jevin

Sorcerer: Tango

Warlock: Ren and Hypno

Wizard: Impulse and Iskall (School of Necromancy)

[bisexual-ben-solo]

Not to be a Caleb and Artagan/chaotic neutral stan but here we go since I rewatched episode 95

Thing I realized above all else: Jester is partially upset because she thought Artagan was always there, but what seems to cause a greater sadness is the response of her friends.She loves Artagan, but her friends don’t. 

The only person who doesn’t greet Artagan with skepticism, doubt, or some jab is Caleb. Jester has told the group from the start that he is a god, and the way they all act towards him reveals that they still didn’t really believe in him. Seriously does everyone in this party have low charisma/wisdom because Caleb seems to be the only bitch who knows how to be respectful and careful when talking to an archfey/creature that gave Jester magical powers. 

Artagan is incredibly relaxed and blase’ despite the party being sorta assholes to him. His opinion of them is that they were ‘boorish’ and they do very little to change that opinon. 

Artagan is highly amused that the party is so befuddled that he is not a god and can give Jester powers--despite the fact that they have been traveling with FJORD for so many months. 

Artagan seems to really not give a shit about Fjord, but also have a mild distaste for him because of the Paladin power he used when first seeing Artagan. 

Caleb uses the Frumpkin test on Artagan and the results are in folks: he’s kind, and unbothered by the little minor fey running around his hair and shoulders. 

Caleb tries to explain and reason that the Traveler is a creature that throws off the shackles of conformity and lives for hedonism. Reminder he is the only one okay with this. Beau, Fjord, Yasha, Veth, and Caduceus all make the :/ face. 

Multiple times the group tells Jester how much they love and care for her, but it’s tainted each time by the fact that they don’t like Artagan or don’t believe he’s good for her and very outwardly argue that Jester is in a cult. The end of the conversation results in them all saying they’ll help with Traveler Con, but it feels incredibly reluctant. 

Caleb made the cloaks and Artagan smiled wide. It seems like that caught his attention. 

Artagan tells the party he enjoys pranking people, but especially shitty people. Only Caleb reacts to this well by immediately thinking of how the chaos can be used against the Cerberus Assembly. 

We all joke Beau is chaos crew, but is she ? When Caleb leans into pranking people Beau responds: “It takes an incredible ego to do something like that.” Which is hilarious to me because Jester had been suggesting worse pranks alongside Artagan the either time.

Caleb early on looks Artagan dead in the eye and says “Yes we don’t care about these 199 others and that’s fine, but will you stay with her and support her.” EPISODE 95 baby. 

Artagan is also ultimate Jester stan. He tells her he revealed himself BECAUSE he loved and trusts her. She is his prodigy, his pupil, and when the Nein asserts multiple times how powerful she is he always agrees. 

[cristinablackthornkingson]

My thoughts/comments on roughly pages 700-900 of COI.

**TW/CW**

Alcoholism

Miscarriage

Child trafficking

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Matthew and Elias are more alike than Cordelia thinks, Matthew is just a nicer drunk than Elias. They both have/had their demons and use alcohol as an attempted escape, let's just hope things turn out better for Matthew than they did Elias .

Ahhh I really hope there isnt going to be a love triangle between Matthew, Cordelia and James, unless they become a throuple, but I am more so rooting for MatthewxLucie. Isnt Jesse like 8 years older than Lucie? I mean I guess he's technically forever 17 and doesnt have much more life experience than her but still, I prefer them as besties.

Grace leave James alone!

Uh yeah Grace no duh the Bridgestocks dont like you, you're the woman Charles left Ariadne for, that could have ruined her reputation

GRACE FUCK OFF!

JAMES DO NOT KISS HER, Tessa needs to get back and slap some sense into her son jfc!

DAMMIT JAMES!!!

"I should go" Yes you should! And leave James the fuck alone!

The Famer at the Barrow is Wayland the Smith, calling it now

Yep I knew it!

I want a crossover series where Cortana meets Sumabrander/Jack from Magnus Chase 😂😂

Wayland the Smith wants payment for healing Cortana, uh oh, all magic comes with a price

Wait what is a paladin? Does Wayland want Cordelia to find the killer and stop the killings? Has she not already sworn fealty to Cortana? - Oh no she swore fealty to Wayland, makes sense. Go kick ass Daisy!

Yikes seems as if Lucie's powers might cause some trouble for her

Possible Lucie and Ariadne friendship? Will Lucie help her and Anna get back together?

Okay I fear for Lucie when Grace tells Malcolm about Annabell.

Always thought Malcolm was the one who helped Tatianna preserve Jesse's body, apparently not, new character maybe?

Ooh honey, Malcolm this is so much worse than Annabell rejecting you.

Glad to see Lucie inherited Tessa's sensibility

Ariadne and Anna being Lucie's protective yet kickass lesbian cousins, we stan

Awwww Anna calling Lucie "ducks" 🥺

Oh my God Grace was trafficked??? Tatiana is a child trafficker? As are the Cartwrights? Holy fuck poor Grace!

I hope James is okay, I wonder if he'll tell them about Grace? Or that hes in love with Cordelia? Or that he might be possessed by the killer?

I fucking love Anna fussing over Lucie and calling her pet names, more Anna and her cousins being wholesome please!

But surely Belial cant posses James? He had the spells of protection placed on him as a baby, and he didnt actually die in COG, like Jace did in City of Glass, but maybe its different because he is half Warlock and related to Belial?

Raum venom in my shoe, oh Christopher, never change ❤

"I think he is possessed" said Thomas "He is defacing a book" LMAOOOOOOO throw that shade Tommy!

"He felt an odd sensation, tingling between his shoulder blades, apprehension perhaps?" Jamie, sweetie, I'm demiromantic and have never been in love yet even I know you're feeling love and attraction to Cordelia

"Just wound me then, stab me in the leg if you have to" Ah, young love

Hmmm Cordelia and James spending the night in the same room, sexy times to ensue?

A crack in the gracelet? Perhaps James'true love for Cordelia is strong enough to break it? Could be going a OUAT route here, if they have kids they would be the product of true love, and very powerful, could play an important role in the future?

Lmao Cordelia blue balling James as revenge for him kissing Grace, good for you girl, good for you.

Oh Thomas POV, hope we get some Thomastair interaction, first kiss maybe?

I hope Anna and Thomas dont go in search of the killer, surely Anna is going to tell him to get his ass back inside? Or maybe she's about to talk to him about his feelings for Alastair? Is this gonna be the equivalent of Nora having to confirm to Alex that he's bi?

Nope the dumbass is going on patrol alone, I'm scared for him. Maybe he'll run into Alastair and they'll patrol together and talk about their feelings?

No James you love Cordelia, not Grace. Snap out of it man!

Jamie baby you owe no one anything, please talk to your parents and Jem!

Uh oh killers POV with Thomas out alone, I'm scared

Oh God the killer noticed Thomas and now we have a Thomas POV, I dont like where this is going. Alastair come save your man!

Nooo poor Lillian. I'm still scared for Thomas though, I think the killer is trying to lure him in

Uh oh, Thomas is about to get in so much trouble

Sshhhhiittt poor Thomas. Charlotte can surely help him tho, right? She knows he would never kill someone

Oooh so James has been going out in his sleep to try and stop the killer?

Is Enoch gonna tell them about Thomas' arrest? Will he be able to help Thomas?

I want a brother Enoch backstory!

Alastair was so following Thomas for his own peace of mind, and to protect him because he loves him.

I wonder why Bridgestock has it in for Thomas.

Consul Charlotte reminds me of President Ellen Claremont, I love it.

I think the pithos is what the killer used to remove the runes

I wonder if there's gonna be some Thomastair angst and confessions now they're locked in the sanctuary together for a day.

Why is the mortal sword in Paris? Seemingly with Will and Tessa? Was Charles tried by the mortal sword?

Charlotte and Henry have been TTC for years now with no results, my theory is that the miscarriage was complicated and caused a lot of scar tissue, and now Charlotte cant get pregnant, so once her time as Consul is up (which is presumably soon, given how the merry thieves theorize that Bridgestock is vying for Consul next term) she and Henry will adopt, either twin girls or 2 girls close in age, like 2/3 year age gap at max.

I really like Eugenia and would like to read more about her.

Alastair comforting Cordelia is so sweet, they are such an iconic sibling duo.

James thinking of Matthew, Christopher and Thomas as his brother's is so wholesome and sweet, I adore it!

[empressofthesunwriter]

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Welcome to the semi-last and longest chapter!

We will have a little epilog after that and then start with book two”

I hope you will enjoy it.

Chapter 16: Let’s fighting Love!

The Dark Fortress of Clyde looms in the background as King Kyle and I stand before our people and alias.

This…this is the Endgame.

We all feel it in the air.

Dramatically wind makes our clothes and hair sway as King Kyle speaks: “Today, we are not elves and humans! Today... we fight as ONE!”

“Years later from now on, children will talk and sing about our heroic effort to defeat the Dark Lord Clyde!”, I add. “Let us besiege the army of darkness with the courage of amazons! Let us delve into their dungeon with swords and sorcery!”

“Let us charge our shields and use photon torpedos to vaporize the Klingons!”

A record scratches formally.

I just blink at Kevin Stoley, the one I found the IPad of his dad by the church, returning it to him.

I’m not sure what to say.

For once in a lifetime Cartman interference is welcome. He standing beside Leo, facepalming.

“Kevin, god dammit. Every fucking time, Kevin. God fucking dammit, seriously.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It’s okay.”, I get my bearings back and wave. “Armies of justice and light! PREPARE! Are you ready?!”

I hear loud yeses and agreeing shouts.

“Then... let's kick Clyde’s ass!”

Like an unstoppable tidal wave, we storm the front door of Clyde’s home, while his dad stands beside it, staring at us in confusion.

We enter the garden and the epic battle begins!

It was early on decided that me, King Kyle, Princess Kenny, Lady Tammy, Paladin Leo, Bard Jimmy, and Wizard Fatass would take care of Clyde.

Ranger Stan of course too, but for the moment he helped the Pirates, led by Maplebeard, who is a cute Canadian kid and King Kyle’s brother, get us inside the fortress from outside, while we storm it from the inside.

We battle, we solve riddles, and we climb the tower higher and higher.

Craig awaits us with three Nazi Zombie cows, but we can take away two.

The thief and his cow were nothing.

Ranger Stan joins us now and we continue on.

Clyde has to be in the next room!

But surprise, surprise waiting for us is…

“Dad? What the hell are you doing here?”, asks Stan Mr. Marsh.

“Oh! It's my favorite kid!”, yells Mr. Marsh and kneels down before me. Dude…that’s so not okay to say this when your son is standing right there! “Listen, I found out what they were doing at the women's clinic! They were looking for a candidate to put a snuke into! They're going to nuke ALL OF SOUTH PARK!”

“A snuke?”, repeats King Kyle shocked.

We all feel this too.

That’s so not good at all.

“You boys and girls don't understand. They've put the snuke HERE.”

Even better!

“Who did?”

“Whomever these people are CLAIMING to be Taco Bell! We should've known. We should have known Taco Bell is far too compassionate and caring to be so secretive. The quality of their character, like the quality of their food, should have never come into question.”

“Dad, where is the woman with the snuke?”

“They didn't put it in a woman.”

Mr. Marsh leads us to the person.

It’s Mr. Slave!

He is bonded on a pillar without pants, but thank god his tank top cowers his privates.

Another trauma I don’t need.

“All I remember was that there were these big government guys, and they wrestled me to the floor at my house! And then I remember thinking, well this is fun, but wait, is that a thermonuclear device?”, tells us Mr. Slave what happened to him. “I had some drinks so putting a thermonuclear device up my ass wasn't COMPLETELY out of the question... oh Jesus Christ, how long do I have?!”

“We don't know, Mr. Slave, but it could be a matter of MINUTES.”, answer him, Mr. Marsh.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Pull it out!”

Mr. Slave turns his behind in our direction.

What the fuck?!

It’s not like we can just pull it out of the ass!

But this shows how stupid Cartman actually is because he tries.

TRIES, in big letters, since Kyle slaps his hand away.

“No! We can't just pull it out! Snukes have triggers on them! We have to abort it -- from inside.”

“Oh COME ON! Who knows how to do abortions AND can get really really small?”, counters Fatass.

…I don’t like where this is going.

All beside Tammy have now a thinking face going on, asking who could do this, while we two girls argue non-verbal.

Tammy really wants me to get small, climb in Mr. Slaves’ ass and abort the snuke.

I make clear I don’t wanna do this fucked up shit and if this is so important, she can do it.

It goes like this for a few seconds, till Tammy makes at me the best puppy dog eyes and puckers her lips at me.

…I’m a thirsty hoe…if she really will give me a kiss…oh god…I’m actually doing it!

Gritting my teeth I step forward but grip Tammy by the hand and before she can make it clear that she doesn’t want to join me, I shrink us both.

“Oh, look! The girls are all small.”, points out Mr. Slave.

“Wow, this kid is just FULL of surprises! Quick! Get up there and disarm the snuke! Hurry!”

“No need to tell us twice, Mr. Marsh!”, I call back and formally drag Tammy with me.

“Oh, be careful girls. I might have also put some bats up there the other night.”, warns Mr. Slave.

Tammy gives up and faces her destiny.

She knows without me she can’t grow big again, so she is stuck anyway.

So…yeah we enter a man’s body through his asshole.

Ladies and gentlemen we didn’t reach the Fucked-Up-Meter, we completely obliterated it!

“I hate you so much right now!”, growls Tammy at me.

“Hey, you wanted me to go up this ass! Do you really think I would go alone? Someone has to suffer with me.”, I simply say.

“Fucking shit! Let’s get this over with!”, angry she follows the anal channel? Is it called so? “Next time you take one of your boy toys.”

“They didn’t promise me a kiss.”

I follow after her.

“I regret that too.”

We don’t go far since…a frog with a crown stops us?

What?

What does Mr. Slave put in his ass?

“New Kid and follower, you must find a way out of this place or you will surely die.”, tells us this Frog King.  “The way behind you is blocked by the large sphincter. Make haste to the large intestine! All will be made clear to you then!”

Geez, thanks for that information you strange thingy.

Tammy and I side-eye each other and then shrug our shoulders.

Whatever let’s go.

As we make our way through Mr. Slaves’ ass I could swerve someone is singing a song for me about this adventure.

Maybe I have gone gaga.

After what I experienced these days and now this, it wouldn’t surprise me.

Also, Mr. Slave has a lot of things up his ass.

Like a creepy hand puppet with a Zylinder, corn, and even his own phone.

I don’t have words for all this literary shit.

We kill some Nazi Zombie Bacteria, because of course, why shouldn’t he have this up his ass also, free the bat Mr. Slave warned us, as we encounter another spectral being.

It’s a bird.

“I am the Sparrow Prince.”

A sparrow.

Sure, why not?

I already lost all hope in humanity.

“Like you, I was once used for pleasure as an anal plaything, and thus perished in this place. Now you must defeat my angry spirit in order to move forward. I know I don't really sound that angry, but trust me, I am.”

Of course, we need to battle it.

OF COURSE!

The battle is tough I won’t lie, but Tammy and I are unstoppable together.

We defeat the Sparrow Prince.

“You have proven yourself in combat, young anal plaything. You may journey forth. Find the snuke's trigger and save the outside world. Fare thee met and fare thee well.”

And…he is gone.

Tammy rubs her forehead.

“I will need lots of therapy after this whole shit.”

“Yeah, I was planning an making an appointment next week, wanna come with me?”

Sick of all this we continue on.

Okay, I admit it’s a bit of a surprise finding soldiers guarding Mr. Slaves’ asshole.

“Armed guards? What are they doing here?”, wonders the Frog King.

He and the Sparrow Prince appeared at our sides.

“Whoever seeks to blow up the city clearly doesn't want anyone stopping them.”

“You must get past them, New Kid. Go fuck ‘em up.”

“No need to tell me twice.”

Did I really talk with the two spectral beings?

God, when is this finally over?

Tammy and I defeat the soldiers and finally there is the fucking snuke!

We are so close to ending this!

A new spectral being appears before us.

It’s some kind of fish. Since he lives in a gay man, does it make it a gay fish?

“Hello, New Kid. I... am Catatafish.”

Catatafish of the stomach's cove.

There is again the singing!

“The trigger of the thermonuclear device lies before you. I have tried to solve its riddle, but I have been unable to disarm it.”

Catatafish riddle will soon be told.

“There are only moments to spare. Find a way to disengage the trigger, or all will be lost.”

“Ready to abort this thing?”, ask me, Tammy.

“Let’s get this bread!”

One good thing, aborting the snuke is not as creepy, sick, and disgusting as the other one I did today.

As thank you for the successful abortion Mr. Slave sneezes me and Tammy out of his body.

Well, the mouth is better than the way we came in at least. The three spectral beings who live in Mr. Slaves’ ass appear again, thank me and gift me a crown.

I wait till they vanish to throw it away.

I don’t wanna know where it was and I want to forget all this ever happened.

I make Tammy and myself grow big again.

“Great job!”, praises Mr. Marsh. “You disarmed the snuke. South Park is saved.”

We, girls, give a tired thumbs up.

“Yes. Now let's finish this, bitch. Let's beat Clyde once and for all, and take back the Stick of Truth!”

“Cartman I warn you, my tolerance is really low right now. If you don’t want that I fucking kill you, stop insulting me!”

This shuts him up or maybe my crazy death serious look and our group moves forward to finally face Clyde.

We enter his dark throne room.

Clyde is standing beside a container with the Nazi Zombie goo.

“Fools! You thought you could conquer the Fortress of Darkness!”

“Clyde! Back away from that stuff!”, warns Stan.

“Oh, but I have yet to complete my army! You have come to witness the power of darkness!”

“Stop! Clyde!”, plead King Kyle. “You have no idea what that stuff is!”

“Yeah huh, it's green sauce from Taco Bell. I took it from their construction site.”

“Dude, that's not Taco Bell sauce.”, informs Stan.

“Then why'd I find it at Taco Bell?”

“It leaked out of a UFO, Clyde! It's toxic goo from another galaxy! Think about it! Since when does Taco Bell have a green sauce, dude?”, tells him Cartman.

“Actually, since about a year ago.”, answer him King Kyle, like Fatass asked this really and it wasn’t a rhetorical question.

Me and Tammy roll our eyes as the boys talk about this green sauce of Taco Bell and Clyde being all triumphal since he thinks it’s really this green Taco Bell sauce and not the alien goo.

“Oh my god, can you all stop!”, I shout, losing my nervs. “I crawled up a gay man’s asshole to abort a fucking snuke! I just wanna take a long bad and go to bed and try to forget all this shit. Clyde as the current queen of Kupa Keep give me the fucking Stick of Truth back or I will come over and kick you so hard in the balls that you will talk the rest of your life in a high-pitched voice!”

All the boys make a face at my threat, while Tammy nods in agreement.

“And I will kick too, when she is done!”, she promises.

Clyde is battling for a second with himself, you can clearly see it, but having the Stick of Truth gives him balls.

“You can try, but I have a little surprise for you!”

He lets the green goo flow into a coffin.

…Okay, why didn’t I see it before?

The person who lies in the coffin punches a hole through it and sits up.

It’s a…Nazi-Zombie Chef who sings: “I'm gonna make love to you womannnn...”

All my friends scream, while I just have a WTF-Face.

While we fight him, my friends tell me that he was once the Chef of Elementary School and a good friend of theirs.

Makes me sad for them, that they have to fight their friend.

In the end, Clyde is not happy with Chef’s performance as Nazi Zombie and fucking lits him on fire!

Since I don’t have another choice I send a Dragenshout at him, putting him to rest again.

Now Clyde knows he is fucked and tries to escape, but Fatass blocks him.

“Your eons of torment are at an end, ruler of darkness!”, growls Fatass.

“Um, okay, um, you know what, I'm not playing anymore.”, whines Clyde.

Hah, in the end, he is a little pussy.

“You have broken the rules of the Stick and for that I banish thee. I banish thee...from SPACE AND TIME!”

With that Cartman Sparta kicks Clyde away. He flies off the balcony to the ground below.

Fuck yes, it’s over!

Finally!

“We did it dude!”, shouts Stan happy.

King Kyle turns to me and takes my hands in his.

I blush like a tomato. Doesn’t help that Tammy wiggles her eyebrows at me.

“Dark Magician Queen N.K., your long journey ends here. For all your deeds, and all your time put into this, we all agreed-“

“-Hesitantly-“, calls Cartman in between with a deadpan look, but doesn’t stop it what is happening right now.

“-We all agreed that you shall be the ruler of us all! From now on you will be Dark Magician Empress N.K., the rightful ruler over Zaron and Larnion. Over humans and elves!”

I gasp shocked, while all applaud me, beside Cartman, who just rolls his eyes, but I don’t care.

I don’t care!

They made me Empress, ruler of all the kingdoms!

I can’t.

I look at Tammy and she nods.

Now I know why she said I should bring this along with me…

“Give us a sec!”, tells Tammy, the boys.

We hide together behind a pillar.

Tammy helps me to take off my Dark Magician Girl Cosplay and put on another one.

In my new cosplay I step back to the boys.

All gasp in wonder and I smile prettily.

“Neo Queen Serenity!”, claps Princess Kenny excitedly. “Even with her silver hair!”

Oh god, does this mean, Kenny is a Sailor Moon Fan?! Cool!

I curtesy before my people.

“I will be the best Empress to you and all residents of Zaron and Larnion.”, I promise.

“Quickly, now let's get the Stick back to safety before anyone can do –“

King Kyle can’t even finish his sentence as helicopters appear. From every corner soldiers come…even Eye-Patch-Grandpa is with them!

“We've got her, we've got the Dragonborn.”, shouts Eye-Patch-Grandpa.

Erm…what?

I have suddenly a bad feeling in my stomach.

“The Dragonborn?”, repeats Fatass confused. “What the -- who, what?”

“You can’t run away this time Dragonborn!”, declares Eye-Patch-Grandpa and picks up the Stick of Truth!

“He has the Stick of Truth!”, yells Fatass.

King Kyle turns to me.

“How does this guy know you, Dark Magician Empress N.K.?”

I…I can’t answer him…I’m shaking…I feel like throwing up!

“N.K.?”, whispers Tammy worried, and takes one of my cold hands in hers.

“Dark Magician Empress N.K.? Is THAT what you told them your name was? Why didn't you tell them your REAL name – CODENAME: DOVAHKIIN!”

I…I breath heavy…I’m so…so scarred…flashes are before my eyes…flashes of this man…of these man hunting me!

Even Kyle sees now that I’m ready to freak out and takes my other hand in his.

“N.K., what’s wrong?”

I just grip Tammy and Kyle’s hands tight. I can’t speak! I’m so terrified.

“You don't remember, do you?”, asks Eye-Patch-Grandpa. Well, not really. “How we tried to find you?”

“Look, that Stick belongs with the fighters of Zaron!”, makes Stan clear to him. “Give it back!”

“Fighters of Zaron? Boys and girls what's going on here is much more complex than that. This isn't the first time a UFO has crashed on Earth. You see, in 1947 a UFO crashed in Roswell, New Mexico...”

“Oh, god.”, groans Wizard Fatass.

“Oh, brother, spare us.”, begs Stan annoyed.

“Hang on a sec. A UFO crashed in Roswell and a new government agency was created to investigate the paranormal. Our Agency.”

“Can we skip this? Like, hit the skip button or something?”, wonders Cartman.

“Oh, you don't want to skip this.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok, our agency is there and we have never lost a fight. That is...until eleven years ago a certain child was born.”

“Yawn yawn yawn.”

“A child who had an unnatural power inside her. I had been ordered by the President to turn her into an even more powerful weapo, than she already was. So we experimented on her and were successful. The ultimate weapon! But thanks to her parents she slipped through our hands.”

“The government wants the N.K. for her farts?”, say’s Kyle in disbelieve.

“That's dumb.”, adds Stan.

“Her farts? No. Her amazing ability to make friends so quickly on any social network. The day she was born she already had 10 million followers on Facebook. Before she was 5 years old she had 3.2 billion friends on Facebook alone. Do you have any idea the power that kind of gift yields in today's world? It's time to come with us, Dovahkiin. Time to stop resisting and use your gifts for your country.”

“Is he really still talking?”, asks Cartman done with everything.

“Are we really so different, you and I, Dovahkiin?”

“…What about my Magical Girl form?”, I finally found my voice again and…I remember…slowly but surely… ”Is this the result of the experiments you did on me?”

“Ah yes, they are. We wanted you to have extra powers to protect you from any kind of harm. Your social media powers are too valuable to be lost by your early death, so we genetically modified you. It was a success, but instand of using it for your country, you use them to get away from us. You have to do what the government tells you, just like me. We're all just pawns in their game. I'll admit you are fascinating, you have more power than any child I've ever come across. And yet all you seem to really care about... is this.”

Eye-Patch-Grandpa holds the Stick of Truth high above his head.

“It must be very important. What does it do?”

Cartman rolls his eyes.

“Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe, dumbass.”

“Yeah, stupid.”, adds Stan.

“Controls the... but then... I wouldn't have to do what I was told anymore. I could.”, laughs Eye-Patch-Grandpa. “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HAAA! I control the universe! Get back. BACK I SAY! ALL OF YOU! I can do anything. ANYTHING I WANT! AHAHAHA!”

Oh my god, he get’s naked!

I throw up a bit in my mouth.

“I no longer need YOU, Dovahkiin... I control the UNIVERSE!”

He runs away and we after him.

Clueless he waves the Stick of Truth around.

“Er ... damn thing! How does it work? Show me how it works!”, Eye-Patch-Grandpa demands.

“Yeah, right.”, scoffs Stan.

“Dovahkiin, why should we be on opposite sides? Join me, Dovahkiin. Rule by my side. Rule... and you can have THIS all to yourself, FOREVER.”, he tries to butter me up. “I can offer you all! Just get me safely out of here, you can rule with this once again.”

“After all you did to me and my family? Hunting us down from one end of the USA to the another?”, I scream and point at him. “You think I would rule with you?! News flash asshole, you can suck my dick and I will stay with my friends!”

All my friends let out agreeing sounds.

Suddenly Princess Kenny steps forward.

Huh?

“Dude, where're you going?”, asks Kyle what we all think.

Princess Kenny just calmly walks up to Eye-Patch-Grandpa and…takes the Stick of Truth from him?!

She lets out an evil laugh.

We all gasp shocked.

“Princess Kenny!”, shouts Wizard Fatass.

“Top Ten most shocking anime betrayals of all time!”, I can’t help but say this.

I’m just…what?

Why?

“At least one of you has some sense.”, says Eye-Patch-Grandpa smugly.

“You'd sell us all out?”, ask King Kyle in a rhetorical fashion.

“But why, Princess Kenny?”, wants Stan to know, like we all.

Suddenly motherfucking Morgan Freeman appears and explains: “Because Princess Kenny was born a half-orc whose entire village was wiped out by humans and elves. You see when humans and elves lived together in the forests of Hollow Falls, an elven queen fell in love with the orc known as Dandar - the first one to possess the Stick of Truth. They loved in secret and had a child, a beautiful little girl, a girl who watched as everyone she loved was killed in cold blood. And that is why she waited... and plotted... all this time. To take the Stick from you. For Princess Kenny is the true heir to the Stick of Truth.”

“Wow, that's pretty cool.”, admins Cartman.

“Just one thing, Morgan Freeman.”, turns King Kyle to the famous actor. “How come every time something convoluted needs explaining you show up?”

“Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.”

And there is the freckle he talked about.

Princess Kenny looks at me and holds a hand out.

“Beautiful N.K., join me. We will rule together over Zaron and Larnion as it should be. As powerful queens! Be my wife!”

All gasp, while my mouth meets the floor and I blush crimson red.

If this is not a declaration of love, then I don’t know what else could be.

“H-Hold on!”, intercedes King Kyle and stands before me. He goes down on one knee, taking my hand. “Don’t listen to Princess Kenny! Stay with us! Stay with me! I actually wanted to ask you this in private but…please would you give me your hand in marriage? I know you are already Empress, but nothing would honor me more than be your husband.”

Even more shocked gasps and I turn so red it needs a new name.

“Damn girl, two proposes in one day, you are a legend.”, whisper-shouts Tammy at me with a proud smile.

I send her a look, before I look from Kyle to Kenny and back from Kenny to Kyle.

Oh dammit, what should I do?

They both made clear they want me!

…There is only one way.

I take my hand back from Kyle and step closer to Tammy.

I shake my head.

“I can’t be neither be your queen Kenny or your wife Kyle.”, I begin and look at the floor. Tammy wraps an arm around my shoulders. “And…not why because I don’t like you…the true is…I like you both equally and that’s not fair to either of you…”

After my confession it’s still for a few seconds before Fatass has to say what he thinks: “Thirsty hoe.”

I just look and point at him.

“You got me there.”

Princess Kenny sends me a sad look but doesn’t use the Stick of Truth to command that I shall be on her side. She just turns and runs away from us.

“Princess Kenny, come back here!”, shouts Fatass after her.

We all run after her and Eye-Patch-Grandpa. We conor them on a high platform.

This feels like the true final boss fight.

“Give us the Stick, Princess Kenny. You don't want to go down like this, brah.”, warns Wizard Fatass her.

Our traitor’s Princess just mumbled something we don’t understand and I shit you not we all see an anime opening starring her.

Okay, first Leo with his anime dude power, and now this?!

Where can I learn this shit?

More time to think I don’t have since we all need to kick Princess Kenny’s ass.

Together we beat her easily.

“It's all over, Princess Kenny. The thirsty hoe is too powerful for you.”

“I swerve to god Cartman, you may be right, but stop it, or I kick you in the balls!”

But Princess Kenny is not done with us. Even Stan and Kyle begging her not to do it doesn’t stop her to drink the alien goo turning her into…

“Aaagh! Nazi zombie Princess Kenny!”, screams Fatass.

“Fuck!”, adds King Kyle.

With an angry shout, the Princess storms us.

I don’t know how long we fight.

We kill her, only for her to come back again!

It doesn’t stop!

“She doesn't stay dead! We can't beat her!”, cries Stan.

“Dude, we're fucked! There's no way!”, agrees King Kyle with him.

“There is one way. We're gonna have to break the Gentlemen's Code.”, tells Cartman.

….Oh hell no! I will not do this! Forget it!

Before anyone can do or say something I step forward.

“N.K?”, calls questionly Tammy.

“Let me handle this…there is another way…”

“Oh really and what one Douchebag?!”

“THIS!”, I shout.

I let the energy flow through my whole being transforming me in my Magical Girl form. This time even with music and end pose!

I flick one of my long pink pigtails, pointing at Princess Kenny, while the others, besides Tammy, are in awe.

“Let’s see who is the better anime princess, my lady!”

We both face off against each other.

My golden light attacks hit her strong and fast. They are the perfect weapon against her Nazi-Zombieness.

Again she falls, but before she can revive herself again, I call for my Magical Girl Wand.

It’s actually the Katana I could finally buy from Jimbo, but in my hands, it transforms into a sword-like wand.

“Holy Light Sword Cut Healing Session!”, I shout my attack.

 It hits Princess Kenny!

All geta swarmed over in a brilliant white light. The light heals all the Nazi Zombies and restores all that is broken/destroyed.

Who needs Miraculous Ladybug?

I can with my wand attack and heal in one!

As the sun raises above South Park all is good again….

I’m detransformed, back in my Neo Queen Serenity Cosplay, and hold into Tammy’s arm.

I’m tired and outpowered by this whole fucking night we have lived.

We are with Cartman, Ranger Stan, and King Kyle at Stark Ponds.

The sun’s rays reflected beautifully on the water’s surface.

“You guys sure about this?”, asks us, Kyle.

“There's no other way.”, tells him Cartman.

“It drove our friend to madness and nearly killed us all.”, reminds us, Stan.

I sign.

“Do it Grand Wizard let this be the end of the Stick of Truth.”

I’m surprised Fatass listens to me, he really doesn’t can’t argue with me over that, now can he, and throws the Stick of Truth into the deeps of Stark Ponds.

To be never seen and used again.

This is for the best.

We stand in silence for a few seconds till Cartman asks: “So what do you guys wanna play now?”

“How about Dinosaur Hunters?”, suggests Stan.

“Or Pharaohs and Mummies!”, is Kyle’s idea.

“Let's ask Douchebag!”, surprisingly Cartman says. “What do you wanna play next, bitch?”

Tammy and I stare at them, then at each other, and then back to them.

“…..I think I will go to bed. I’m tired as fuck. Wanna sleepover Tammy?”

“Yes, thank you. Let’s take a bath before we go to bed. I need to wash away this fucking night.”

I nod in agreement and we girls turn to walk away.

With my back to them, I wave at the three boys.

“Bye Kyle and Stan and screw you Cartman!”

I can hear how Cartman says: “Wow. What a dick.”

“To you not to us.”

“Yeah, the Empress likes me and has admitted to having a crush on the king.”

“Screw you guys, I’m going home!”

We, girls, look at each other and shake our heads.

Boys!

Next

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[ultraericthered]

@ a particular VLD Lotor stan/Allura hater:

My fave is problematic and I can own that. Can you?

And we have absolutely no idea what he was going to say after that because of what she did. No one but Lotor knew what his intentions were. 

Lotor clearly stated his intentions; sacrifice the few to preserve the lives of so many more, carve out a way to Oriande, and power up his Sincline ships with the purest Quintessence energy so that he can have the best possible Defender of the Universe to protect his soon-to-exist New Altean Empire and all of it’s denizens with. Basically it’s “the ends justify the means” VS “cool motive, still murder”. His intentions and some parts of his end goal were well-meaning but the actions he chose to take to advance his agenda were unethical.

I find it hard to believe that he would work so hard for so long to, like he said, preserve Altean culture, just to kill thousands of them. 

Maybe not thousands, but hundreds would be a small fraction compared to the life Lotor had hoped to preserve, save, and keep protected. Again, this position comes from his own mouth.

Quintessence is life energy, couldn't it be possible that one of the reasons he wanted to find it so badly was to help the Alteans?

YES. He SAID as much. But it doesn’t excuse his misdeeds.

Exactly, he could have lied or accused her. It would have gone nowhere because she is a pure Altean and in Alluras eyes that is all you have to be to be right. He could have lied but he didn't. There is no way to know what else he was planning because no one have him a chance to explain it.

He was planning to transfer a motherload of Quintessence to the Sincline Ships that would form the Sincline Beast, the “new defender” he’d replace Voltron with whether the Paladins liked it or not, and with his remaining Altean cult he’d form his New Altean Empire that could colonize, control, and reign over the rest of the galaxy, whose free denizens he’d hoped would all willingly submit to his rule because he’d been so kind to them in reforming the Galra, helping with the Voltron Coaltiion’s restoration of other worlds that had been victimized by the Galra, and vowing to keep them all protected and safe to live in peace. That became apparent by what transpired after Lotor got outed and based on the things he canonically stated.

You sound pretty anti to me.

Seeing the character as the complex tragic antagonist he very objectively was depicted as being in canon makes me an anti? OK, I’m not surprised. This happens a lot with fictional bad guys I love.

How can you type out 4 separate messages like this and say he's your favorite? It's one thing to recognize a characters flaws but it is another entirely to completely argue anything that doesn't outright damn them.

Because the things that don’t outright damn him tend to not be based in factual canonical text or basic morality. Lotor was damned for his sins in canon because he did indeed commit those sins and showed little in the way of remorse or wanting to repent for them. To try and pretend otherwise is to pretend that Lotor is a character that he simply is not and imagine that character in canon Lotor’s place. Lotor is a heavily flawed character, but he is also a villain. That’s literally what he was made to be way back in the 80′s and he still is one even in his version. A redeemable villain had the creators only allowed him the chance to seek real redemption? Absolutely. But still a villain.

You seem pretty happy with his outcome so don't try to say you believe he deserved better.

Had the show ended at Season 6? Yeah, I’d be satisfied with that outcome even though it’d hurt to see Lotor go out like that. But since the show continued into two more seasons, I was absolutely NOT happy with the “oh, he’s just dead and now being used as a corpse puppet/battery by his crazy mother” outcome they actually went with. Zarkon could come back even after his apparent death in Season 2 but Lotor’s dead for real? I called bullshit on that and still do. Lotor’s character had potential for SO much more than they seemed to think. So I do say that I believe he deserved a better, fuller arc for S7-8.

Allura never once took responsibility for any of her wrong doings except maybe hating Keith and even then she denied that she actually did hate him and basically just said sorry you thought that. She judges every single Galra she meets as if they are zarkon himself until it is undeniable that they are on her side and even then her working with them is clearly only out of need and not willingness. She has a right to be angry about what happened to her people but she does not get to take that anger out on every member of an entire race. That, my friend, is racist.

So what if every member of an evil, genocidal, colonizing, oppressive empire by definition serve their leader in carrying those terrible acts out and thus have culpability in those crimes? To hate or distrust them on principle and judge them by the leader they serve makes you a horrible bigot! (And please note what obviously should go there when I say “evil, genocidal, colonizing, oppressive empire” but I didn’t want to invoke Godwin’s Law here. Like, if a holocaust survivor hated every one of those people, I’d not fault them too harshly.)

Bottom line: it ain’t about the Galra as a race; it’s about the Galra as a supremacist empire. And Allura seemed to have gotten well past the point of her prejudice by the time she was fucking kissing the son of Zarkon on the lips. If she truly subconsciously wanted to find a reason to hate on the Galra prince, why would she do that?

She perfectly mirrored the words and actions of Lotors father. She was the catalyst to his undoing. 

Yeah, no. Lotor himself mirrored the words and actions of his father. Lotor was the catalyst for his own undoing. That was his tragedy.

Lotor didn't try to deny the flaws of the Galra, he tried to overcome them. Everyone he met outside of the Alteans he saved treated him like dirt, either for being Galra like the Paladins, or for being Zarkons son like his generals in the end. Or simply just existing like Haggar/Honerva and Zarkon.

What I’d said wasn’t about Lotor denying the flaws of the Galra on the whole - it was that he denied the flaws of the Galra IN HIMSELF. He tried to turn a blind eye to his Galra lineage and only prop up his Altean side. He hated that his father had betrayed Alfor and caused the fall of Altea. He hated that his mother had betrayed her people and ceased to be a true Altean. He fixated so much on Altean history, culture, civilization and survival as a means of rejecting a part of who he was, but all that did was ensure that his worst qualities went unchecked to the point where they consumed him and drove him down a dark, twisted path more akin to his father’s than he would’ve ever wanted to go down back when he was still pure and innocent. He felt strongly about doing what was right and just, but sought to achieve his ideal future through means that were wrong and unjust. In words he would condemn his father’s methods and all the Galra Empire stood for but then in actions he would apply very similar methods and bring about the very same evils (mass murder, conquest, colonization, iron-fisted tyranny). The phrase “New Altean Empire” sums up the whole hypocritical contradiction. Lotor was all along furthering all of his father’s imperialistic ways, but dressing them up to look more appealing, acting more benevolent and less homicidal, emphasizing the Altean factor and even trying to make a Legendary Defender of his own to sell his image as “the good guy.” Again, it’s his tragedy: he had the conviction to be a hero (”Altean”, as he associated heroic virtues with) but was a villain (”Galra”, as he associated all the evils of his parents with) only because he was unable to grasp just how miserably he’d failed at being heroic.

And what I find most heartbreaking about Lotor through all this? At the core of everything he did, he wanted to be accepted, embraced, and loved. ‘Cause he never was by his parents and his people. :(

Also, I’m pretty sure the Paladins hated him at first for his aggressive acts against them and others, and his Generals turned on him because he was so intent on turning on them first.

And just so you know comparing ANYONE to their abusive parent is literally the worst thing you can possibly do and anything they do after is completely understandable.

OK. Nice to know that I can murder who knows how many people, take that which doesn’t belong to me, set fire to people’s homes, abuse animals, cheat, lie, deceive, gaslight, commit sexual assault, even conduct horrible life threatening experiments on my fellow human beings after abducting them and none of that would be considered the worst thing I could possibly do. But if I drew any comparisons between someone and their abusive parent? Oh, that’s crossing the red line! Truly THAT makes a person truly irredeemable, so any terrible thing that befalls that person afterwards is deserved!

Capping this off with the best boy’s immortal and ironic words:

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Yeah I never understood why people say Allura is racist she's perfectly fine with Keith AND Krolia who is in fact FULL Galra

Hi, anon! Thanks for your note. Yeah, that’s a good point! Honestly, I think some people pick up on the show’s implicit narrative biases, which are largely unsympathetic to genocide survivors while sweeping under the rug the visceral level of brutality that a significant number of Galra enacted point-blank against so many civilizations. The narrative and visual “lens,” if you will, even in s3 flashbacks, focuses more on the instigators and their motives than it does the victims and their traumatic experiences. And the narrative lens throughout the show continuously demands that genocide victims unquestionably forgive and accept oppressors into their lives without said oppressors/groups vocalizing empathy. But we see Allura going above and beyond with accepting Galra!

Regarding specifically season 2′s initial plot twist with Keith—I suppose it helps to look at Allura’s sudden suspicion from the lens of season 3. Galrans and Alteans had a great relationship between them—the official VLD book “Allura’s Story” even calls Zarkon Alfor’s “best friend.” So in this past, you have a strong Galtean alliance, you have Alfor saving the entire Galra people after Zarkon destabilized their planet and endangered the entire solar system with a widening rift, thus forcing Alfor to blow Daibazaal up to save every other civilization too. You have Alfor hosting the Galran people/Zonerva’s allies while giving Zarkon and Honerva an honorable state funeral. But the instant Zarkon wakes up and demands his people massacre the entire solar system (not just Altea—in s3, the Galra extinguished their entire galaxy planet by planet until only Altea was left)….the Galra people at large accept that order? Without question? Despite all the deep friendship and bonds that came before? Literally, a single order from an undead emperor of their own kind overturned this solid interracial alliance and launched an unstoppable, galaxy-level bloodbath?

But of course, we don’t get this history until another season later, so Allura’s initial reactions to even Keith for example, feel left-field to some who hadn’t already emotionally connected to the trauma of genocide/omnicide. Specifically, Allura’s trauma was triggered with Keith because she’s 100% experienced having mass allies and treasured friends suddenly betray you in the name of pure loyalty to someone of their own race. But we don’t get that additional history until later.

So while clearly the racism accusation is not justified and Keith and Allura reconcile anyway in season 2, I think the seeds of “Allura is racist” were planted at large during this time, while waiting for season 3.

And notice as well that in the show, it’s Allura who comes to Keith and apologizes. There is zero narrative attempt to understand the “why” behind Allura’s reaction during this plot twist, and no other character (including Keith) makes an attempt to reach out to her either. They all turn into a bunch of passive aggressives. So narratively, the show champions an imbalance—you feel sympathy for Keith and are asked to join the paladins in demonizing Allura (or seeing her as the “other” for suddenly having suspicions, per her experiences). And the show champions the paladins for such riveting high school diplomacy while Allura takes full responsibility on herself to open up the conversation, make herself vulnerable by explaining her own trauma, and then begging for Keith’s forgiveness and even hugging him. She does all of this, by the way, upon seeing that—unlike the s3 Galra in the past—Keith’s revelation didn’t mean he felt an automatic loyalty-tie to the Galra, and that he was just as true and good as he always had been. And kudos to Keith, he confirms his nature again by accepting her apology and the both of them moving on together, with Allura even ultimately accepting Keith’s authority over her as Black Paladin.

So for all the trauma Allura has from actively experiencing the Galra wipe out her entire galaxy and planet, we see Keith and Allura reconcile—and we see her move onto accepting the Blade of Marmora and Krolia. She admonishes Lotor for not protecting his own Galran subjects from attack. And despite the romance and alliance with Lotor going south over his activities with an Altean colony, she still pursues alliances with other Galrans and even tries to emotionally connect with them. She’s the one who first offers an alliance with Zarkon himself into s8, ultimately resurrecting Daibazaal as equal to her own resurrected Altea. And she does all of this while fighting against an Altean who is the ultimate big bad of the series. So even if someone wanted to totally ignore Allura’s past as an omnicide victim and just wanted to crucify her point-blank for her season 2 actions, we see her acting in incredibly dynamic ways to preserve and obtain peace for the Galran people.

I think, in looking at Allura’s development arc from season 1 to season 8, it becomes clear to me that people holding onto the “Allura is racist” card are doing so for one or several of the following reasons:

They haven’t watched the show entirely to see her interactions with a wide myriad of other Galrans, so they’re cherry-picking based on a few uncontextualized scenes.  

They view Allura as an antagonist to their favored character, so they hate her anyway and are looking for any reason possible to hate her.

They view her as romantic competition for their favored ship (that old fandom internalized misogynism where gosh darn if a female character dare exist to unsettle their own personal romantic headcanons or self-ship needs, which means we gotta find a way to get rid of her and her fans).

And thanks to purity police corruption of fandom, militant antis using the “racism” card recognize that they can inappropriately hijack a social buzz word to manipulate fandom interests and obtain supremacy over other fans by de-legitimizing their voice. Because no one wants to stan a racist, right???

Either way, “Allura is racist” is definitely an inaccurate use of the word, yeah. If people want to hate on Allura, which is their right to do if they so desperately want, they just really need to find other reasons to do it.

Thank you for your note, anon! Sorry, I guess I rambled after I got to thinking about “why,” haha.