#she's so unbelievably amazing i think I'm going to explode

[void-candy]

North

detroit become human (2018)

[breakerrhexis]

03. THE LIGHT IN DARK PLACES ❤︎‬

TW: GORE AND BLOOD Also link to the fic here!

You and Clive. Clive and you. The teddy bear and the human trapped in a video game against the world. You could see why Karlach cherished the damn thing so much - it provided comfort. Like an anchor comforts a ship amidst tumultuous waters, promising to never let go. You were surprised when she offered you her beloved bear.

Still, a gaping wound existed within you Clive couldn't fix but the question was: to whom did it belong? You or Adin? You felt fear, sure. Who wouldn't in your situation? But why did it feel like you were drowning? Why was there so much pain in your heart? Fire in your lungs. Bugs crawling under your skin. Rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten-

Clive's matted fur looked wet. His black beady eyes stared at you, sheen with hot tears. Unfamiliar fingers - slender, calloused, and trembling - ran over his face. "What's wrong with me?" You asked softly. "With him?"

Alas, he couldn't answer. Only the tortured echoes of the land did.

Adin's friends - the companions - sat and chatted around a campfire. Shadowheart shooed everyone away to give you space, but you were the kind of person who appreciated company in dire times. You didn't ask them to stay though, as much as you wanted to. They were technically strangers. You knew so much about them and they knew so little of you (as Adin or otherwise) in return.

You stared at them with a sad frown, still twisted in Shadowheart's blankets. You had to tell them. Soon. Not telling them wasn't an option. It wasn't right. But the notion was terrifying - what would they do once you told them? Kill you?

You looked at Clive. "How fucked am I? Be honest."

If Clive could talk, he would've surely said: "So unbelievably fucked."

As much as you didn't want to, camp packed up an hour later and everyone was set to go. With a backpack heavier than your woes and daggers strapped to your side, you were also hesitantly set. But the unease in your gut was not.

"So, what's the plan?" Shadowheart asked you.

You blinked at her. "What?"

"Yes, Adin. What now? You told us to rest and we'd leave later. Where are we going? Are you still unwell?"

"No, no! I'm fine!" You waved her concern off. "I think we..." You racked your brain - where in the hell were you and where did that fall in Act Two? There was no inn in sight or moonrise towers. Were they in the very beginning?

"There's an inn somewhere around here. We'll find help there. Come on!" You marched onward, torch in hand before Shadowheart could ask further questions. You did a meticulous job avoiding the cleric and her questioning gaze.

If there was one notable trait about you, it had to be your amazing memory. Adin had all the brawn but you - you had all the brain. Of course, all of that "brain" was because you played the game before. Still, credit must be given where it was due. You remembered most of the details!

You, however, seemed to have forgotten the teeny tiny detail of Kar'niss and his convoy.

Flying arrows, bottles exploding in massive fires, and a drider striding towards you at an alarming rate of speed - it wasn't what you had in mind. Granted, you had nothing in mind. But it definitely was not that.

From a rooftop Astarion magically appeared on, an arrow landed in one of Kar'niss's eight legs and the Drider roared. "Move!" Astarion yelled from above and you scrambled out of the road into the destroyed house.

Harpers eyed you but otherwise paid you no mind, focused on destroying the convoy first.

You peeked an eye over a windowless square in the wall, watching Halsin's bear form tear an orc's head off. The brutal sight of Halsin spitting out its head like it was gum and blood sputtering from where it was once attached left you sick, bile rising in your throat. You slid back down the wall.

It was a sight you'd never forget.

"Adin, you pathetic worm!" Lae'zel yelled as she ran into the shack where she found you hugging your knees to your chest. "Get up, istik! Come-"

A goblin snuck up behind her, aiming his spear at her head, and your body reacted faster than your mind. In mere seconds, you found yourself where the githyanki had once been - a dagger lodged deep in the goblin's right eye. You blinked as the fog in your brain lifted, your mouth falling open in shock. The goblin, just as surprised, touched the dagger.

Then it wailed, spear clattering to the ground.

You froze, stunned, staring at him as you tried to wrap your head around what happened. What you'd done. But you hadn't meant to. You weren't even thinking about it. You weren't fast enough to do all that - never swift enough to dodge balls even in dodgeball.

Karlach finished the job with a swing of her axe, warm blood splattering across your face in the process. Its head rolled off its shoulders and Karlach stopped it with her foot. She reached down and wretched your dagger free from the goblin's face, taking its eye out in the process.

"Ohh, squishy."

You puked.

Kar'niss was the hardest one to kill, but as his team fell one by one, he stood no chance against twelve people. Even as formidable as the drider was, he succumbed to the throws of death as a Harper ended his life with some sort of spell - drawing his life essence out like a vampire. He crumbled, spider legs falling flat, moonlantern tumbling to the ground.

The Harpers were on you in seconds.

"Who are you?" One of them asked, distrust perceivable in their eyes. "Why’d you help us? It makes no sense."

As the ever-so eloquent one, you responded with a lame, "Uh..." Their fingers danced with green mist and floating leaves. "We're looking for an inn! And a way to Baldur's Gate. We mean no harm!"

Halsin popped up beside you, back in his elven form. His warm voice carried a hint of authority, commanding attention, and respect. "What my friend says here is true. We're indeed looking for a way to the city and the cultist's base of operation. I heard it was here."

The Harpers looked at each other. "Fine, come on. The inn's this way."

You watched as a Harper picked up the lantern. A tiny little voice, unbeknownst to those not looking, pleaded for help. You had almost forgotten about the little pixie, still lost in the memories of blood and daggers.

You yelled, "Wait!" The Harper holding the lantern stepped back, hand on his sword. "There's something inside... Look."

The silver light emitting from the lantern fluttered like a lightbulb blinking on and off.

"Get me out of here! Please! Please! I'll do anything!" A high-pitched voice pleaded. The Harpers glanced at each other.

"You're right..." The one that’d been questioning you nodded. "But we need the lantern. I'm sorry."

"No! Please, let me out!"

"There must be another way," you insisted. "Can I try?"

The Harper narrowed their eyes at you. Halsin, the gentle giant he was, placed his hand on your shoulder. "You can trust him. We won't do anything to jeopardize your mission."

Reluctantly, the man passed you the lantern and you offered a thankful smile in return. 

Inside the lantern, a pixie fluttered about. Her tiny hands wrapped themselves around the iron bars, shaking herself back and forth. "Let me out! Let me out! I will die in here!"

"I'll let you out, don't worry," you whispered, reassuring the poor thing. You unlatched the iron door and yelped as the fairy raced out. The Harpers cursed you out. Halsin's hand on your shoulder tightened.

"FINALLY! Been trapped in that coffin with no one but a mad drider and my own farts for company," the pixie complained, her iridescent wings fluttering like a hummingbird. You laughed much like you did went you first heard that line. "Did me a good turn there, didn't you. What do I owe you?"

"We need to get through this curse. Can you help?"

She hummed, tapping her chin in thought. For a moment, you worried she’d refuse your request, which wouldn’t make a lick of sense considering that never happened in the game. Alas, she nodded. Your shoulders relaxed.

"Here. Give this bell a shake, speak the magic words, and you'll get what you earned. Protection from the shadow curse - what more could a dingus want?"

A bell materialized in the palm of your hand and as the pixie flew off, she shouted over her shoulder, "Your welcome!"

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Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to upload this chapter! Life's been a little crazy lately. I know it's TMI but this is the happiest decision I've made in a while despite the pain its caused me. (TW FOR THE FOLKS THAT NEED IT) I broke off my three year relationship for one important reason: a breach of respect and consent. I didn't realize there was some trauma there. It's almost like my brain fogged up those memories, but you know I realized now rather than later. You don't have to stay until things get worse - a lesson I didn't know I needed until now. There's happiness in this solace I feel now - writing and sipping coffee with my sister. The bad outweighed all the good he'd done, and there was some good but it didn't clear how unsafe he made me feel in the end. No amount of promises, tears, and flowers can erase certain mistakes. But all is good now! I put myself first and fought, so I can't be any happier :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll add and edit and fix if need be

━☆・*。

　　・゜

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　　　　　.・゜

　　　　　゜｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ。

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[paper-rose-doodles]

Sometimes I think about Seska and I get so angry

IMHO, Seska's character arc encapsulates everything that frustrates me about VOY. Like much of the series, she has amazing potential that never materializes because the show isn't brave enough to go there. So instead, we get a cartoonish "plot twist" and a two-episode arc that makes absolutely no damn sense to wrap her story up and get her off the show.

God forbid women do anything.

Here's the thing: as a Bajoran and a loyal Maquis, Seska makes sense. She's an extremist with (arguably) good intentions, especially since we know by the time VOY premieres that the Maquis have a good point! The Cardassians are building up their military and will eventually ally with the Dominion in an attempt to subjugate not just Bajor, but the entire Alpha Quadrant. In season 1, she's an excellent counterpoint to Janeway, and it's completely understandable that the Maquis crewmates are sympathetic to the idea of mutiny. After all, Janeway needs them to keep the ship running, but she makes no attempt to respect them as individuals who didn't agree to Starfleet's rules.

Your ship is about to literally fall out of the sky, but sure, this guy's obnoxious accessories are the real problem here.

This plotline could have paid off in some really amazing stories, where Chakotay and the other Maquis have to decide between Seska and Janeway. Hell, it could have led to Janeway and Chakotay building a command structure that blended Federation and Maquis ideals. But instead, we get the "Seska is really a Cardassian" revelation, which simplifies the conflict and turns Seska into some kind of Cardassian DNA-stealing femme fatale, complete with villainous cackle and idiot henchmen. That way, we never have to question whether Janeway's strict adherence to Federation protocol is the best course of action. We can make Seska the recurring villain and run the show like TNG 2.0.

"Also, I stole Chakotay's baby batter. I'm not sure why, but it seemed like the evil thing to do."

But here's the thing: on top of being lazy storytelling, it just doesn't make sense.

If Seska had been exactly what she claimed to be - a Bajoran Maquis member - that it would be perfectly logical that she got fed up with playing by the Federation's rules. Defecting to the Kazon is a believable action by this character. In that case, it's also believable that her former Maquis crewmates - like Michael Jonas - would be willing to betray Voyager for Seska. But why would Michael Jonas, who believed enough in the Maquis cause to leave a comfortable Federation life in exchange for a life on the run in the Badlands, be willing to risk everything to help a Cardassian spy? If there's one thing we know about the Maquis, it's that they hate Cardassians.

It almost feels like the Jonas betrayal was written before they decided to make Seska a Cardassian spy. As a result, what could have been an interesting arc with some genuine threats to Voyager's wellbeing is just a monster-of-the-week two-parter starring a disposable crew member. There's never any real danger of mutiny, because the villains are so unbelievable. And then Seska literally explodes.

And this happens a lot in Voyager (not women exploding, though there's a bit of that). The show sets up some really interesting scenarios and doesn't follow through. The pilot sets up a damaged ship with limited weaponry and a feuding crew, but by season 3, Voyager operates just like any other Starfleet ship, with unlimited replicator stores and photon torpedoes. Somehow, all the aliens Voyager trades with have compatible technology and never influence the crew in any permanent way. The idea that Neelix and Kes are the only aliens to want to join Voyager in seven years of do-gooding across a lawless quadrant is ludicrous, but adding more would alter the basic premise here! We can only have two or three aliens that we use for comic relief. Year of Hell was an amazing episode which allowed for some stellar growth...so let's roll back the clock in the last few minutes so that it never happened. Harry Kim has died like three times, but we're never going to talk about it.

I love VOY, please don't get me wrong. But it had so much potential that got thrown away in favor of replicating the TNG formula, where nothing ever changes and the crew are always playing poker or hanging out in a Hawaiian holodeck program by minute 38 of 40. Seska's character could have been a fantastic way to introduce a conflict where no side is 100% right or wrong, but that would have taken away time from a stirring episode about the Doctor programming himself a gallbladder to learn more about being human.

"I haaaaave STOOOOOOOONNNNNESSSSS!"

[aetheternity]

I'll admit it's exciting (P2)

Synopsis: Being your professor's dirty little secret. His pet.. Sounded too good to refuse.

Warning: Smut in the later chapters! 18+ only

"He kissed me!"

"You know what they were wrong, 1,547th time is the charm." Eren picked up a new much rounder stone then the one he'd been holding previously. He quickly chucked the object getting about three and a half splashes before it went under.

"They who??" Sasha questioned

"They the people of society, Sasha." Mikasa replied

It was virtually impossible to remember any of the events of Friday. Ever since that kiss you'd basically lost a day of your life to your protruding thoughts. Now on a perfectly crisp Saturday like today you'd spent all day hanging out with Eren, Mikasa and Sasha as god intended. It was a ritual after all. The four of you coming down to the river together if you weren't all busy with homework and just discussing life events and skipping stones.

"It just came outta nowhere and it was so sudden!" You pout, resting your head on your knee.

"Just don't say it like that in court. You wouldn't want his little puppy to be homeless when he loses his job." Sasha patted your shoulder and you sent her a glare.

"I thought the puppy didn't live with him." Mikasa said, skipping a stone that went twice as far as Eren's to his own annoyance.

"Meanwhile that isn't the important part." Eren interjected "You have to take this to the higher ups you know."

"Please Eren, this is no time to think responsibly."

Mikasa giggled at the scrunched up look on Eren's face as she picked up a stone with both hands. One that was almost bigger than her torso.

"Mikasa, that one isn't going to skip." Eren said, trying to pry it from her grasp.

"Well, what do you want to do then?" Sasha questioned with an eyebrow raise.

"Huh?"

"I mean you clearly don't want to rat him out and you think he's hot so why not try to date him?"

"Cause she can't Sasha. It's against university policy." Eren replied turning away from Mikasa as she let the rock go. "And it's kinda gross."

When Mikasa chucked the rock in her arms the force was honestly intimidating. Surprisingly enough it managed to skip. Hitting the water once against the surface before sinking into the bright blue river.

"But I want to so baaaaadddd."

Eren rolled his eyes. "Well I mean if you go to the dean with that logic he'll probably allow it."

"Stupid sarcastic fuck.." You whispered with a huff.

"Mikasa, come on help me out here." Eren sighed turning to Mikasa who simply shrugged reaching for a new rock with one hand. "Thanks.." He mumbled

Sasha let out a loud sigh as she plopped down next to you. Scattering the rocks with her feet. "I'm hungry." She announced, resting her head on your shoulder.

Eren flipped the bag strapped to his back around digging in it for a couple seconds before tossing Sasha and you a sandwich and a bottle of lukewarm water.

"Yes!! You're amazing Eren!!" Sasha delighted

"Thanks.." You muttered, turning the baggie with the sandwich in it over in your hand.

Eren walked over plopping the bag between his legs and raising an arm to place over your shoulders.

"College is about new experiences." Mikasa said as she stood in front of you. "If you're not in a rush you'll find something to get excited over."

"Sleeping with a professor is a new experience that would excite anyone." Sasha said inbetween bites immediately getting flicked by Eren.

A mocking sob left your lips, interspersed with a couple snorts as you raised a hand up for Sasha that she instantly high fived.

~~~~

Somehow you'd managed to come to class on Tuesday and not hear a word of the lecture. Barely paying attention to your work as you read the same question over and over again and everytime he looked at you.... Dammit was he staring? Were you staring??

How could he sit there in that bright blue shirt? A shirt that matched his eyes so much so that they made their gorgeousness that much more enticing. You could feel your cheeks become pink as the memory of his lips drifting back like a curse. It made you grip your pen a little tighter, squeeze your thighs together a little-

"Hey.." You peeked up at the almost intimidating gaze he had set on you that had your heart racing. And wow your chest was definitely moving a lot faster. "The class ended." He muttered

Was he talking lower??

"Sorry.."

"Don't be."

He inched a little closer. The tip of his nose hovering just above the bridge of yours. His breath cold where it hit your skin. But then he was backing away.

"I promise you i'm not the kind of guy who preys on his students. I promise, seriously I.. normally don't but-"

"No-no.." You chuckled to break the tension. "No, I didn't think-don't think you would." It came off more as a question.

"I don't wanna make you uncomfortable." He sighed, leaning his head back where he stood. "I just had to do that at least once. It's not excusing it I know it's wrong and I won't ever do it again. I don't know what got into me."

Your eyes grew a little wider with every word that spilled off his lips. Fingers clutching the black pen in your grasp just a little harder.

"I said yes!" You announced a little too loud in the empty classroom. "I said yes.. when you asked."

"Y-yes, you did." His flushed cheeks made him effortlessly more adorable. Pink stretching over the bridge of his nose.

"I like you a lot already Mr. Arlert." You admitted staring deeply at each tile on the floor.

"Call me, Armin."

"Armin." You repeated

"It's still unprofessional."

"No one has to know."

He let out a loud exhale, pacing towards his desk before coming to stand in front of you. "I can't date you. I'll get in trouble."

"No one has to know."

He was standing directly in front of you. Arms on each side of you boxing your hips in. "It's still-"

You pecked his whispering lips in a moment of weakness. Arm falling over his back and trailing down the shirt you kinda wanted to rip off now.

"Wrong." He finished

"I won't tell." You giggled, pushing his gorgeous blonde locks away only for them to flop back over his once exposed forehead.

When he stepped back it caused your heartbeat to practically fly from your ribcage. The once quiet room being quickly bombarded with the next class and you hoped you didn't look as dazed and flushed as you felt. You leaned over the desk to grab your bag and just as soon Armin was standing beside you again.

"My office.." He whispered "It's on your syllabus, the room number and floor." And with those last words he was flooding out like a decapitated chicken.

Did he mean?? No he couldn't have?? Your brain wracked the second you'd left the crowding room.

He couldn't be suggesting?..

Without a second thought you ripped your bag open, wrenching your folder from the small compartment inside. With a quick flip it was open though a couple of your papers spilled out. You gripped the misplaced papers searching over the syllabus.

Downstairs.

For the first time since you'd seen it during your first college tour and started your first day you took the stairs. Bolting around and almost through passersby going in the opposite direction.

You didn't even know if he'd get there before you and at this speed he might not but you were trekking so quickly until you'd finally reached the door. Slowed to a walk as you turned the corner passing people carrying papers and flipping through thick binders as they walked.

You slowed even further, walking past a couple of desks some with people typingaway on computers and some completely empty. Your chest was pretty much ready to explode once you'd stopped at the last door at the end of the hall. Copy maker and small plant decorating the mostly empty space.

It only took two hesitant knocks for you to get pulled in. Gasping as your back hit the back of the door with a small yelp and the light thud of your skull.

His thumbs held your head in place as he dipped his face close to yours. Every bit of his breath tickling your lips. So warm where they teased you. You brought both hands up to curve over the back of his neck gripping his head almost tightly until he was pressing his lips onto yours with a roughness he hadn't exuded the first time.

"Mm.. what's that?" You giggled, pulling back.

His breath was so intoxicating and as much as you were begging for more your curiosity always won over other emotions. "What's what?" He replied

You pulled his hand back from your face immediately delighted in the smooth cold steel between your fingers as you held one of the rings cuddlinghis index finger.

"My rings." He replied, pressing back against your mouth with gentle hunger. "I don't like to wear them in class anymore cause the girls ask too many questions." He traced his lips past your cheek. And towards your outstreched chin giving it a little suck that made you whimper.

"Questions.." Your breathed in affirmation.

His teeth grazed the skin of your chin teasing exactly where he wanted to leave marks as he left more splayed kisses. "That and.. I don't like typing with them on."

His hands were back on your cheeks now. Grip a little looser against your face. His tongue drifted forward towards your lips. Breath catching a bit as he tasted you for the first time. A moan slipped from your open mouth, the sigh from his lips unbelievably pleasurable.

"Do you like them?" He whispered against your open lips.

"Mm?" You could barely muster.

His tongue crested over yours, pressing it further back into your mouth. You only had a second to press back before he'd retreated to pressing the tip of his tongue against the roof of your mouth. And then he was pushing his tongue back against yours pulling it forward and then pressing it back.

"My.. rings." He breathed between kisses. Right against your lips. Stealing your oxygen while barely reacting on his side. "You like them?.."

"Mmhm.."

He let out a little giggle, blonde hair a complicated mess against yours and his forehead. He pressed in as close as he could be with each sweet kiss. One. Two. Three.

"Let me take you out ok?"

When you didn't answer he pulled back ignoring your little whimper. Blue eyes blown and dark right in the middle as he stared into the depths of you.

"Wanna take you out." He almost slurred "Ok?"

"Mm ok.."

He rewarded your efforts to speak with a deep kiss. One that filled your chest while simultaneously causing your heat to combust. Your body smothered by his, grip tight where it grabbed onto the back of his shirt and neck. His own hand on your chin with just his thumb and index finger to guide you.

"Where do you wanna go?" His free hand moved to press against the door. "Where do you want me to take you?"

You pulled back, air lost on you and face seething with heat. "How do you expect me to answer when you just had your tongue down my throat?"

He shakes his head with a breathy chuckle that finally proves how the kiss has been effecting his own body. "Sorry. So?"

"I-I don't know.."

"Mm. My pick then, I promise I'll take you somewhere good."

~~~~

"Don't tell Eren.."

"Mm." Sasha replied

You'd gone straight to Sasha's room the second you'd left Armin's office and now you were laying on her floor while she scarfed down a pound cake next to you.

"I made out with him in his office.. and we planned a date.."

Sasha paused with a raised eyebrow. "What about Mikasa's whole find another reason to be invested in college thing?"

"Ok, I never said I'd do that."

She nodded, "Eren's gonna kill you.."

"No! Look the reason it's just me and you here and not Mikasa and Eren too is because I don't need his judgement!" You pouted, pulling your legs into your chest as Sasha took a new bite from her cake.

"How was he?"

"God his lips were so soft and breathtaking. I was suffocating in the best way."

"Tongue?"

"His tongue is the reason my thighs are shaking like this." You pulled back, resting the backs of your hands on the ground as your leg continued the uncontrollable shivering it'd been doing since you'd left Armin's office.

"Oh, well that explains one of my questions." Sasha said with a smile. "New question, how the hell do you plan on hiding this from Eren?"

"He's my friend not my dad I don't need to hide it or get his permission."

Sasha paused mid bite. "But.. you didn't invite him here to listen to your date plans??"

"Who's side are you on?"

"I believe the correct answer is yours!" She beams as you brush her hair back from her face with your fingers. She stuffs the last of the cake into her mouth as you continue, "I mean I'm not hiding it. I just wanna be happy in this and Eren will ruin it. People say you shouldn't tell your friends about things you know they'll ruin."

"Society?"

"Huh?" Sasha stared up at you from where she'd moved to relax her head in your lap. "Yeah sure Sasha society.."

Sasha hummed as you slowly combed her hair from its ponytail. "So where's the date anyway?"

"He hasn't told me yet but he said it'll be special."

~~~~

You hadn't properly talked to Armin since you'd both kissed in his office but he had your phone number. Not that he texted you much (to your own annoyance.) But on Friday he did. Told you to come outside at almost 12am with a quick apology text underneath with praying hands hoping he hadn't woken you.

You got dressed pretty casually. V neck t-shirt and jeans with your best looking pair of sneakers before heading down stairs where Armin stood in his own casual white tee (that accented his biceps.) And some standard looking black jeans.

"I thought about it for a little too long huh?" He smiled holding out a thin piece of cloth. "Just until we get there." He assured

You couldn't stop snickering with each step you took. Sparks racing up and down your spine as Armin held your waist.

"What's so funny?"

"Hmm.. I don't know I just figured I'd have to wait till at least the third date to be blindfolded."

He paused and you held your breath. "N-no it's not like that.. I normally don't do this but it has to be a surprise."

You laughed away his tension. "No no I figured." You would honestly give anything to see his face right now.

You could tell the terrain had changed as soon as you felt grass tickling the backs of your ankles and you reached out to him as the feeling of falling started to take you.

"It's ok. We're almost there."

You managed to grab his wrist and the breathy laugh on your neck made your skin practically spark.

"Don't worry I won't let you fall." He pressed a kiss to the shell of your ear and you were both gradually slowing until he'd stopped you.

He carefully untucked the blindfold making sure he didn't tangle your hair as he pulled it off your face. It slowly unraveled and tickled your skin revealing the cutest picnic set up. A small green blanket draped over the ground with tiny lanterns sprinkled around the spread and a basket right in the middle.

A container leaned against one side of the basket while another blanket rested on the other side. A folded white one with green stripes spreading over it.

"Come sit."

"This is so beautiful." You remarked, careful not to jostle the set up as you sat. "You should've told me I would've dressed nicer."

He shook his head, "The point of this was so you'd be your most normal self. So just be you ok." He held out a glass which you instantly took as he poured the liquid from the jug in his lap into your cup. "Sorry I didn't ask you what your favorite foods were.. I wanted it to be a surprise so I spent most of this week preparing."

"Armin.." You exhaled softly reaching out for his hand. He flinched away for just a second and then he was back, flipping his hand around for you to hold it.

"Let's lie down ok?"

"Mm."

"Unless you're really hungry." He offered looking at you as his head plopped back on the grass.

"No no I'm ok I promise. I ate not too long ago." You replied leaning your head back until it made contact with slightly dewy grass.

He hummed in affirmation, rubbing his thumbs over each of your knuckles individually. "Then all this food might have been too much." He chuckled

"I mean we can eat it sometime." You whispered rolling you head over to face him. He slowly did the same and it had quickly turned into a staring contest.

"I don't really feel like I should ask you about college." He started "I mean you must talk about it enough seeing as that's all people ever seem to ask about once you're there."

"Mmhm." You snickered

"Tell me something random."

You stared up in mock contemplation before a soft smile played at your lips. "Well, I'm really into my college professor.."

He laughed, "Not college related!"

"So I started dating this guy.."

"Ugggghhh!"

At this point you were both stuck in a small fit of giggles. Once he'd relaxed a little he threaded his fingers through yours squeezing both your hands impossibly tightly and then bringing the back of your hand up to his lips for a quick peck.

"You're wearing the rings." You said, turning your adjoined hands over and sliding your thumb over the one on his index finger.

"I couldn't help but remember, this girl likes them a lot."

"Where'd you originally get them anyway?"

He blinked not taking his eyes off your face slowly turning more serious. "Well.. I had this friend and she told me I had perfect fingers for rings so she got me these for my birthday."

"By friend you mean ex?"

He slowly nodded, "Hope that doesn't make them less pretty. I just couldn't get rid of them. Not because I still have feelings! Don't think that I just I really like them!"

You huffed hoping it came off playfully and not the way you felt you looked right now. "I've thought of something awesome to talk about."

"Mm?"

"What'd you wanna be when you grew up?" You smiled as he wrinkled his nose trying to prevent the very clear smile forming on his face.

"It's not that interesting.."

"Please don't say teacher. Please don't say teacher. Please don't say teacher." You beamed crossing your fingers on your free hand.

He playfully shoved you, "No! Close a surfer dude!"

You blinked in confusion bringing your cup up to your lips and taking a sip before repositioning yourself to be up on one elbow. "Huh??"

"You asked." He replied mimicking your actions.

"I did.. why did I do that again?"

He scoffed, "Gonna listen to my reason?"

"I'm here right?"

"When I was younger my mom used to love the beach. She had little ships in a bottle on her dresser, multi colored towels in the bathroom and a surfboard necklace with her initials engraved on it. When I was five she took me surf boarding for the first time." Armin reached into the basket holding out a loaf of bread which you cautiously bit off of.

"I was terrified, I cried so much and I fell over and scraped my knee. I fell over so much that day I'm still surprised she didn't give up on me. I didn't get it down that day or at all till I was eight and I rode my first wave and then crashed and had to be rescued by her. But by then I was able to laugh even while I was coughing up water."

He slowly pressed the bread to your lips once more as he let out a slow breath. "Once I hit ten her and my father had passed away in a plane crash and I vowed to be a surfer partially because of her. But I couldn't pick it up again after, no matter how easy I thought it would be."

You chewed through the new bite you'd taken. "Oh Armin, I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "It happened so long ago. And from then on I was raised by my grandparents so the story has a happy ending."

"In a way.." You muttered laying back on the grass.

"Sorry.." He sighed, placing the bread on a napkin by you and laying back down. "I shouldn't have told that story, it always makes people sad for me."

"No no, I'm not sad for you I'm glad your mom's life is a happy memory for you. Enough so that you can laugh while saying you wanted to be a surfer dude." You giggled

"Yeah yeah I know."

"It's not a bad thing."

"No I know."

"It's just-" You continued to laugh, holding your stomach. "I'm sorry it's just.. it's not surfer.. it's surfer dude." You cackled

"Well technically my dad suggested I say lifeguard so that was my true calling." You exhaled with a sigh, laughter slowly dissolving into the night air. "Cold?" He offered you the blanket and you quickly draped it over his shoulders too squeezing him in closer despite the objects between you both.

A comfortable silence slowly drifted in and you could swear in the distance you heard a soft hoot. Definitely ridiculous assumptions but you looked over at him.

"I just wanna stay here." You squeezed his hand under the blanket.

"Me too."

You looked back up at the night sky. "What if we slept here."

"We can't."

"Yeah.. I know."

A new silence fell over the two of you for a couple seconds and you could hear the sound of Armin's breathing slowing. "The stars are gorgeous tonight.." You mutter looking over at him. His eyelids shut for just a minute before he turned his head, cheeks immediately flushing pink as his droopy gaze fell over your face.

"Yeah.. yeah they are."

[razberryyum]

TGCF donghua Special Episode Thoughts (SPOILERS for episode & novel!)

Favorite moment:

Of COURSE that amazing ending sequence, which is the mirror of Dianxia's backstory at the end of the first episode, except this time from Hua Cheng's point of view. Speaking of, holy mother of YUM, dear gods, Hua Cheng:

Look at this "hideous" man. I am DROOLING.

Funny thing is, I didn't even know his appearance was supposed to be a secret, that we technically hadn't seen his face yet all this time. I remember we had a super quick glimpse of him in the Banyue pit and I thought that was his reveal, that that'll be all we'll get for now and I was fine with that...that is, until this ending sequence happened and we actually see him in his entirety. My eyes will forever never be the same. What was I even thinking??? The flashes in the pit were absolutely inferior to the real thing. No comparison. He is so gorgeous; I can't WAIT for Xie Lian to meet him next season.

Second favorite moment:

What I love about this scene is first of all it features some of my favorite lines from the novel, "If you don't know what to live for, then just live for me. If you don't know the meaning of life, then take me as the meaning your life." Even though Dianxia was playing it up for dramatic effect, I loved how he crawled towards San Lang and then uttered the lines with such conviction. I LOVED the way the music reached a cresendo during his words--hell, I love the music in this entire episode, this entire show, period. I also love how bittersweet this scene is: here Dianxia is so embarrassed by his own words that he even laughs about them, dismisses them, not know just how much of an effect they had on the person he said them to, how they really did serve to motivate that person to live on, to exist, utterly for him. Not knowing at all that that person he said what he now thinks were silly words to is right in front of him. The irony!

I'm still making my way through the book so I haven't gotten to the part where all is revealed to Xie Lian yet, but I can only imagine how shocking and emotional this particular revelation would be. It'll probably be ten years before we get to see all that in the donghua, if we ever do, but I'm gonna keep on crossing my fingers and hoping.

"I swear, whether in Heaven or or on Earth, you cannot find someone more sincere than me". The subs left out the Heaven or Earth part but it's still such a good line. Love also how San Lang precedes that by trying to reach out to touch Dianxia but is like too afraid to. The donghua really captured his feelings of...I guess I'd call it timid inferiority...so well.

I have a strong suspicion what that ring is (irl, I've seen companies advertising turning ashes into diamonds as a keepsake of your loved ones...never tried it so I don't know if it's the real deal or some kind of scam) and I cannot wait to get to that revelation as well. Putting aside the potential significance of this momento, the fact that Hua Cheng left Dianxia a ring to wear around his neck is already a beautiful gesture on its own.

I already miss seeing how San Lang looks adoringly at Xie Lian. In fact, I think I'm going to miss San Lang for quite a while since next season I think we'll be mostly spending time with Hua Cheng. Not complaining at all since Hua Cheng will no doubt look at Dianxia just as adoringly, but I will miss this cute guy.

Also already missing the cuteness that is Dianxia. I love all his expressions...the way he said "San Lang" just made my heart explode. How can he be this adorable??? Really, bravo to Jiang Guangtao-laoshi, his voice actor, for such an endearing voice performance. I actually started listening to the Qiang Jin Jiu audio drama because I've become a fan. Imagine Xie Lian being super seductive all the time. That's the ear candy I'm enjoying now, even though I only understand like less than half of the plot due to my shoddy Chinese comprehension.

Proud of how San Lang didn't just lose it when Dianxia cradled his face like that. This man really has unbelievable self control.

I loved that they were chatting in bed like an old married couple. I'm sure this is a glimpse into their future married life. 😁

Besides SanLian, I know Banyue was in this episode as well, I still think she's adorable and love her voice, and I'm glad she gets to enjoy a torture-free life now (I am assuming she does).

I'm glad we got this special episode to really close out the season, but I'm still kinda confused as to why we didn't get it at the actual end of the season but rather as an odd stand alone episode like this. Obviously it picked up right where the 11th episode left off, so it would've slotted in perfectly well. I was hoping the reason they held on to it was because they were going to attach a teaser PV for the next season, but alas that wasn't the case. I wonder if they just needed more time to finish the episode. I still don't quite understand how the Chinese donghua industry works: for something seemingly as popular as TGCF, you would think they'd have good enough budget and resources to finish episodes in time and to make more than just 12 episodes. There are other donghua shows I've seen on Bilibili that have blown way past 12 episodes, so I don't understand why they have to stubbornly stick to a dozen only for something like TGCF. Or is it a danmei thing, I wonder. They just don't want to devote the time and resources to danmei shows beyond just 12 episodes? So weird. Again, VERY GRATEFUL we're getting a second season. SINCERELY praying that we get many more seasons after so that eventually they'll finish out the book. God I hope I finish reading before the donghua team finishes putting out the show.

And that brings me to: Current Reading Progress...chapter 160. Look, I'm gonna be honest, I'm just not a fan of the whole jinx demon concept or the Brocade Immortal. I know all mysteries of the week lead back to the gods and their backstory, but as CONCEPTS, I was just NOT into them so I constantly got distracted. I know MXTX-laoshi was under a LOT of pressure from both censorship and just ridiculous deadlines (I was told she had to produce a chapter a day, which is INSANE), so I feel like a douchebag for even thinking anything negative about the book...not to mention I'm only on Book 3 still so maybe all of this will be wrapped up nicely at the end. But for now, yeah, those two as ideas are a bit underwhelming and almost silly (especially the Brocade Immortal) and maybe I don't need the backstory of ALL the gods. Anyway, before anyone yells at me, there's always a chance I might change my mind about all this by the end...which I hope to get to soon. Didn't finish the book in time for this special episode which was my goal, so readjusting the goalpost back a little further...hopefully just a tad...like a few weeks, because I DO want to get to the unrelenting pain soon so that I can get through the suffering and finally to the HuaLian happily ever after ending.

[thisendlesslostparade]

Becks Ice (Tyrelliot)

Summmary: Elliot didn't think he would see Tyrell ever again after their friendship ended years ago, but then they meet again at a party and all of his feelings come back up...

(Vaguely based on "Becks Ice" by Von Wegen Lisbeth, doesn't matter at all if you don't know the song though. I wanna start posting some of my fanfictions on here, but this is already available on ao3 under the same username as I have on here. Enjoyy)

Content notation: Unrequited love, mention of alcohol and partying

He wasn't supposed to be here.

Maybe this was a glitch in the matrix, maybe he had somehow entered a parallel universe and no one had told him, but this was completely impossible. His fingers started shaking, as he held on closer to the glass in his hand.

When Angela had told him to have a drink so he would "cheer up" and "relax", he had laughed at her. How was he supposed to relax with all these people around? He hated parties. And now ... now THIS.

Angela hadn't seen the certain someone yet, obviously - she was too busy flirting with every average looking straight guy she could find. Her taste in men had always been terrible, no doubt about it. All these arrogant, sexist jerks she ended up with - Elliot would never get used to them.

But now he certainly had more important problems. 99 problems and the tall guy across the room was every single one of them.

He hadn't changed at all. If he had, maybe Elliot would be able to convince himself that this was just a doppelganger. But it wasn't just his face, the striking blue eyes, the slicked back blonde hair that felt a lot softer than it looked. Elliot shook his head, shaking off the memory.

No, it wasn't just that. It was the arrogant smirk on his lips, the look in his eyes, the way he immediately seemed so much softer when he genuinely laughed. It had never been hard to tell when Tyrell REALLY found something funny - his whole face scrunched up and he didn't look so condescending anymore. He looked almost adorable.

"Angela?"

She immediately stopped talking to the flashy asshole and turned to Elliot. At least he knew he could always count on her, no matter what.

"Look." He raised his glass and pointed towards the guy who was most definitely Tyrell Wellick.

Angela raised her eyebrows. "Who?"

Elliot rolled his eyes internally. Maybe she was so drunk that she really couldn't see what he was referring to.

He raised his hand and pointed again, making sure that no one else saw what he was pointing at.

She tilted her head. "Meh, too blonde for my taste."

It was unbelievable. Apparently Angela would be of no assistance in this situation. He downed the beer at once and then walked towards the group on the other end of the room.

Yup, it really was him. It almost felt like a deja-vu - three years ago it had been a party just like this one. A little smaller, and all of the guests had been wasted high school students who used their remaining two brain cells for staring at people's breats or running to the bathroom every few minutes, either to throw up or to check their make-up.

Quite obviously, Elliot had never liked parties. But just like today, Angela had convinced him to go. "Just for an hour or two, pretty please!"

But then there he had been, the guy of Elliot's dreams, smiling at him across the room and it had begun - the most terrible, wonderful, heartwrenching love of Elliot's life.

"We'll stay friends", they had promised each other, in each others arms at the airport before he went back to Sweden. And even then his heart was breaking because Tyrell Wellick had never, at no point in time been like a friend to him.

He had freaked out and high-fived him, shared his excitement every time Tyrell made out with another pretty, popular girl, or another football player. Yes, he had been THAT guy. Came to America for one year and had sex with what seemed like the entire school - or, well, everyone except Elliot.

And even now he had the attention of everyone around him. It was something about his attitude, something Elliot envied him for, while at the same time he knew he didn't really want to be that way.

It wasn't in his nature. He was the guy who made out with people when he was absolutely wasted, and then had them text him the next day: "Hey, I'm sorry. I usually never do stuff like that. I was really drunk."

And maybe, deep down, he simply didn't feel like he deserved more than that... It certainly never surprised him.

His throat felt so dry, he was already craving another drink. Seeing Tyrell here was more than he ever could've dreamed of, and everything he feared.

He hated him for leaving him, hated him for simply not understanding what Elliot really felt for him... and he hated himself for not being able to remain friends with the person he had once loved more than anyone else in the world.

And wasn't love supposed to be selfless?

He couldn't bear it any longer. Every cell in his body was longing to walk towards him and hug him just one more time, or tell him to never ever leave him again.

Only a few shaking steps further and Tyrell finally recognized him. His face froze in disbelief, then it lit up as if someone had turned back on the lights in there.

"ELLIOT!" He yelled and pushed the girl next to him aside to walk towards Elliot, taking him in his arms and almost squeezing him to death.

Elliot swallowed down the lump in his throat, fighting back the tears, as he breathed in the scent he hadn't thought he would ever smell again. Something flowery, never too much though, and something that was just so completely unique for Tyrell.

"What are you doing here?" he squeezed out when they finally let go of him.

"I'm visiting my host family", Tyrell said, still the widest grin on his face. "You know I really thought about telling you... but... you know, you never texted back anymore so..."

The pain in his voice made Elliot want to slap himself.

"Yeah sorry, I'm so sorry, I was just really busy with graduation and college, you know?"

The truth was that he had thought it was better off this way. A whole ocean between them, and there was no way he would ever get over the Swede with the striking blue eyes, if he kept seeing the status updates of all the beautiful things and beautiful people he was doing now.

Tyrell shrugged and the smile returned to his face. "That's fine. Hey, I'm here now. And I'm staying for another week so we could hang out a bit if you want."

The sparks in Elliot's stomach felt like he was going to explode and set the whole room on fire. Another week... so much and so little at the same time. It made his heart hurt.

"Maybe you could show us around a bit? It's been so long and the city changed quite a bit... I'm not really being the best tourist guide for Jonah." He laughed.

With every word Tyrell said, the clear blue sky of Elliot's mood got more and more cloudy. He could already feel the thunderstorm coming up.

"Jonah?"

"Yeah. Oh, sorry, I forgot you don't know each other yet." He put his arm around a small, dark haired guy standing a bit aside and pulled him away from the conversation he was currently having.

"Jonah? That's Elliot, my friend from America. Elliot, that's my boyfriend Jonah."

Boom. There it was, the thunderbolt hitting Elliot's head and burning him to the ground.

I need a cigarette, Elliot thought. Where the fuck....

"Hi Elliot. I heard a lot about you." Jonah smiled and reached out his hand. It would've been easier if he had been an asshole. Elliot's mind kept racing and yet he had no idea what to say.

'Hey, you seem like a sweet guy. You look cute together. But all I can think about is stealing your boyfriend and kissing him until he forgets how to breathe'.... Well, not a great idea.

"Hi." Elliot cleared his throat, then he looked at Tyrell. "Can we maybe go outside and have a smoke?"

"Oh, I don't smoke anymore. But sure." He gave Jonah a way too exaggerated kiss that almost seemed like a provocation to Elliot. Elliot bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood.

What on earth had happened? Tyrell drinking cocktails? Tyrell not smoking anymore? Tyrell in an actual committed relationship?

He shook his head and walked towards the exit, convinced that Tyrell would follow him.

The cold wind on his skin felt amazing. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, then took out his cigarettes.

"Is everything alright?" Tyrell appeared next to him, looking a bit concerned.

Elliot nodded slowly. "It's a bit overwhelming seeing you here."

"Overwhelming?" He frowned. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Yeah." Elliot sighed. "But .... don't you have all these memories coming back up?"

Now Tyrell seemed to understand. He smiled. "Yeah. It was intense back then."

Both laughed, lost in memories. Taking another drag from his cigarette, Elliot tried to stop himself from comstantly looking at his lips... lips that had kissed someone else only moments ago. He must've completely gone insane - or maybe it was the alcohol.

But fuck it.

"I loved you", Elliot said, not averting his gaze, feeling braver than he ever had before. "I really, really loved you."

Tyrell's face went soft. "I loved you too."

"No you didn't." Elliot blew out the smoke and shook his head. "You liked me. You liked spending time with me. But I loved you."

He pursed his lips. "You know there's different kinds of love right? I did love you. You were the only person in this shit city I really trusted, El."

The old nickname, without a warning. Elliot could almost feel himself tearing up again. Walking around the city and singing their favorite songs together. All the base ball games. The nights at Elliot's place, cuddled up, watching movies under a huge blanket. Tyrell's hands in the pockets of Elliot's hoodie when it got cold outside. Trying to hold back their laughter in class when they were supposed to be quiet but something was just so hilarious, something only the two of them would find funny. Memories, memories, memories.

"I just don't understand how you could know ... I think you knew. You always knew how I felt about you. You just didn't care. It was too much discomfort for you to stop hanging out with me. But you didn't even like me enough to tell me it's not gonna happen."

He didn't disagree, he just looked at the floor.

"I just hoped your feelings would go away eventually, you know. I needed you as a friend. But I also know that... sexual tension was always between us. I'm not completely stupid. It was just... never more than that."

The truth hurt more than anything he could have made up in his mind.

But before Elliot could say another word, Tyrell stepped forward and took the cigarette out of his mouth, taking a drag himself and gazing into his eyes, just for a moment. Elliot closed his eyes because he couldn't handle it anymore. Too much old, dusty pain coming up from his subconscious, too many sleepless nights when all he saw in front of his inner eye, was Tyrell's face. Then Tyrell put his lips on his.

It was only a second or two, but Elliot kept his eyes closed, breathing him in, while his stomach felt like the explosion had finally gone of. Tyrell stroked the side of his neck, sending shivers down his spine, then slowly pulled away.

"Goodnight, Elliot." He put the cigarette back between his lips. "I'd be happy if you called me someday. When you're ready."

He stroked his cheek, almost as if he were fragile, delicate. "And I'd love to meet your future boyfriend. Gotta make sure my former best friend gets the treatment he deserves."

A sad smile on his lips he disappeared back inside the building.

Elliot looked after him, the feathery walk he had seen so many times, now for the last time walking away from him.

He turned around, and went home.

The wind suddenly didn't feel so cold anymore. It was refreshing, taking away the heat.

Making room for something new, something different. Something more.

[etlunainmorte]

✒ P.S. I Love You ✒

***

XII

***

"I think we should cancel the wedding, after all."

It's what Avery told V earlier that morning after rushing Nico to the hospital.

But, of course, the poet refused, telling them that Nico wouldn't want it to be cancelled. Therefore, he made a solemn vow to solve the mystery and drive out the evil spirit in their house as soon as he can. He even strictly instructed the couple to stay out of the house and wait for him to solve the case so nobody else could get hurt.

And a few hours later, he's back in the kitchen with his own familiars, reading and rereading (Y/N)'s journal, which manifested three months' worth of entries in a single day, as well as the strange writings on the photographs.

While (Y/N)'s entries on the diary itself bore the same stories of how she and Victor fell in love during those three months, the writings on the photograph were a different case entirely. Bearing messages like, I wish I'm with you right now, I wanted to see you so much, I wish we could read books together again, and Please, forgive me, V could not help but speculate that something happened between her and Victor that most probably tore them apart as lovers. And based on what he has seen the other night, with the way Victor and (Y/N) spent the evenings together? He actually came up with another speculation, a theory, suggesting another thing that could very well change the way Avery looked at her ancestor.

Oh, God, if it is true, then,...

"Young master, you should eat. Or you'll lose your vitality." Maria told him motherly as she patted his shoulder to get his attention.

V looked up from the photographs and saw the kind housekeeper offering him a plate of the most delicious - smelling cherry pie he has ever laid eyes on. "You and your grandchild should have stayed away from here just like your employer. Or you might get hurt."

"My grandchild?" Maria's eyebrows shot upwards at what V said, and when she realized who he was talking about, her face lit up with a smile and then slumped once more into her usual melancholic look. "Oh, that little boy! We're not related in any way." She told him as she placed the plate of pie on the table in front of him.

"If he's not, then,... ?"

"He was a lost little boy who couldn't get out." Maria vaguely confessed, giving V another issue to have a headache on. "Ever since then, he has stayed with us."

Us?

V sighed as he reluctantly took a slice of the pie. He took a bite, letting its wonderfully complimenting flavors explode in his mouth. Then, he took a few more bites, finishing the slice in less than a minute. Overall, it was a really fine meal. Avery really was lucky to have her as a helper,...

"You have not answered my question." V told her a few moments later, almost forgetting it because of the amazing pie. "Why did you choose to stay here despite the danger that is lurking in this place?"

To this, Maria only smiled as he offered him a glass of warm milk. "I have a duty to fulfill to the young lady. I can't leave until it is resolved."

"I see." V replied as he watched her take a seat on the chair next to him, just like on the first day he met her.

Maria nodded, then, all of a sudden, her mud - colored eyes widened as she stopped moving. "And I almost forgot!" She exclaimed as she fished out something from her pocket. She held it out to V. "I think you dropped this last night."

"I'm sorry - ?" Confused, V looked at the slightly crumpled noted in his grasp. He carefully unfolded it and revealed the message in it.

July 27, 1898

My dearest and humblest poet, Victor,

I will never forget the very first time we met. You kneeled before me, took my hand, then you kissed it, reciting to me a very sweet poem as you looked into my eyes.

I will never forget the days after that, of our little talks, of our how are yous and how's your days, of the way we embarrass each other when we caught ourselves looking into each other.

I will never forget the first time I sang for you as you played the piano, of the sweet melody that conveyed how I felt towards you. I will never forget the days, and nights, we read poetry together. I will never forget those mornings we have to sneak away from father to have little chats and laughs in the garden.

And most importantly, I will never forget those nights we wrote to each other and passed those notes through that crack in the door as you sat just outside my room while I waited on the other side.

Such little trivial things that other women might have done for you that I will always remember. You may forget me in the future when you meet others more memorable than I' am. You may tell them amazing stories as you did for me. You may find other reasons to laugh and smile with another as you have laughed and smiled with me. You may play the piano for another belle who would sing willingly for you. You may find more pleasure reciting and reading poetry for someone else. You may call another your "Little Wanderer", "Evening Star", "Beloved Muse", "Little, Innocent One", and "Little Lamb".

And most importantly, you may exchange little notes in the middle of the night with someone else.

All of these may happen when you finally meet the one for you, and you may fall for them just as easily as I have fallen for you.

I'm aware of all these things. How could they not love you? How could anyone not offer their heart to you?

We will part ways within a month, maybe a week, as my father has decided to enroll me in a boarding school in Paris. But, I want you to know how honored I' am to have met you. Of how grateful I' am when you indulged my foolish fantasies.

Of how thankful I' am that, in a very short time, you have made my dull and unhappy life meaningful and filled with hope.

Please, don't forget me, my dear, humble poet, and of those times we spent time together.

I will cherish those moments for as long as I live.

I will never forget May 11. I will never forget I have met the most wonderful man in the whole wide world.

I will never forget you for as long as live, V.

Yours truly,

(Y/N), your Little Wanderer, Evening Star, Beloved Muse, Little, Innocent One, and Little Lamb.

P.S.

I Love You

This letter,...

The one she gave Victor that night before she lost her innocence to him,...

It's the same one! It's -

"Such a curious little thing." V heard Maria say. He looked up and saw her holding his metal cane in her trembling, old, wrinkled hands.

"Maria, give me my cane back." V told her as he stood up, holding out his hand to her.

But, Maria wasn't listening to him. "To have witnessed such happiness, such tragedy,... such unspeakable horror. No wonder it draws out equally unspeakable powers of its own." She, then, looked at him and pointed the tip of his cane at him. "No wonder it has awakened the past." After a few tensed seconds, she finally gave the cane back to V and took the empty plate on the table. And before leaving, she looked at him one more time and spoke, "I think you should stop dwelling on the upper floors and explore other places here. You may find something worthwhile." And with a smile that truly unnerved him after those very vague words, she finally left him.

Her gentle, and yet sick, smile was still on V's mind as he walked around the very quiet ground floor that evening. Despite Maria's weird statements and his growing suspicion of her, he trusted her. After all, she's the one who gave him a clue regarding the second floor and the one who pulled him out of the vision last night.

And now, V was wondering whether he would actually see something on the ground floor -

He almost got a panic attack as he turned to his right and saw Doctor Christopher Lancaster's live - size portrait once more. But, compared to the time he first saw it that morning, the doctor's features somehow looked more sinister and intimidating now. His eyes looked realistically wider and more bloodshot, and the creases and veins in his face looked embossed from the painting, that if he so much as put one finger on it, he would definitely feel the warm blood rushing through it -

V was taken aback as the doctor's eyes unmistakably landed on him. And what startled him even more was when the doctor in the painting turned towards him and stepped out of the rectangular frame, leaving only the empty canvass where he formerly stood. The doctor strode with much resolute steps and easily went through V like he was smoke, feeling the freezing cold that emanated from him from his instant contact with him. He turned and saw the doctor discreetly making his way to the second floor.

V followed suit, and when he caught up with Lancaster, he saw Victor embracing (Y/N) as she cried, his hands going up and down her back to comfort her.

"Sshh, it's alright. I'm here. I will never leave you." Victor whispered to her. V turned to his right and saw Lancaster hiding just in time behind one of the pillars. He was eavesdropping. But, why?

"Father will take me away! He doesn't want me to be with you! He thinks you're too poor to marry me. He - "

"Sshh, now, now,..." Victor gently hummed as he cupped her cheeks and brushed her tears away with his thumbs. "Did I not promise you to give you everything in the world? Now, do you trust me?"

(Y/N) nodded as she laid her hands on his, feeling their warmth and drawing out the energy she needed from them to prevent herself from collapsing.

"Well, then, let us run away from here! Go with me to England, start a family of our own away from these aristocrats!"

"What if father finds out? He will have you thrown in a cell! And worse!"

Victor wrapped her in his arms and held her very close to his heart. "I will die before anyone could lay a single finger on you. This may sound unbelievable but, I have strong connections in Europe. Once we get there, no one here in America would be able to go after us."

"And what about the others? And Daniella?"

"We'll inform them beforehand so they could escape. I'll keep you and the others safe, I promise."

(Y/N) nodded once more as she and him shared a passionate kiss. V looked away just in time when Lancaster narrowed his eyes at the lovers planning their elopement. And when their lips parted, he cupped her cheeks once more.

"Let me know as soon as you have made your decision. I will contact my brother to prepare everything for us. Understood?"

"Yes, V."

"I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you, V."

"You should take a rest, for now, the moon claims you.”

She nodded and after one final kiss, the lovers parted for the evening.

And so did the doctor.

V swiftly followed after him as he made his way back to the ground floor towards the drawing room where several men were having a conversation. The doctor cleared his throat and caught the attention of the gentlemen.

"What brings you here in this ungodly hour, Lord Lancaster?" The oldest of the gentlemen questioned.

"Your daughter, Lord (L/N)."

The gentleman Lancaster referred to as Lord (L/N) sat up straight and regarded him more seriously now.

"And what about my only beloved daughter, (Y/N)?"

"The impoverished poet is planning to take her away to England. He claims that he has powerful connections there and that he would kill you if you so ever lay a finger on your daughter."

"My God!" Lord (L/N) exclaimed. "I never expected to have a murderer under my roof! Let alone someone as deceitful as Victor Blake!" He thundered, bringing down his fist against the glass top table that trembled beneath his wrath.

Lancaster came forward and went on with his lies even further. "Victor Blake is a traitor, a madman, and, as you have surmised, a murderer. And as we speak, he is shamefully having his way with the pure and innocent (Y/N). He will use her over and over again, and when she's worn out and he has finally become tired of her, he will toss her aside like garbage in the fires of Gehena and look for a new victim."

"And you have proof of this?"

"I do. Roselle?" Lancaster called and a few seconds later, a petite blonde maid stepped forward and curtsied before the gentlemen.

The blonde woman in white,...

The gentlemen's eyes widened as she undressed before them and showed them multiple wounds and bite marks all over her body. There were some ugly bruises on her thighs which looked like they were caused by a blow of a really hard object.

Was it,... from the cane? But, no! It can't be! This is impossible! Victor will never do something like this! He - !

"Victor Blake did this?!" (Y/N)'s father bellowed as the frightened maid put her clothes back on.

The maid didn't say a word and only nodded as her own shame made the tears fall from her tired eyes. Lancaster dismissed her and turned once more to the gentlemen, especially the Lord of the house.

"I beg you before anything like that happens to sweet (Y/N)." Lancaster pleaded. "Allow me to marry her, and then I will protect her. I give you my word as an honorable gentleman."

Not even a few seconds have passed when the oblivious father nodded. "Very well. Then, you shall have my daughter's hand in marriage, Lord Lancaster."

V's eyes widened as the things unfolded right before his very eyes. He closed his eyes and suddenly, he found himself standing amongst the small crowd in the entrance hall of the mansion. The Lord of the house was standing in the grand staircase, and as he loudly cleared his throat, successfully calling the attention of his very few guests, he raised a glass of wine and smiled at them.

"For this evening, we shall all celebrate! As our little summer gathering comes to a close, allow me to partake with you of a very wonderful announcement that would put a smile on your face for many years. Doctor, would you kindly do the honors?" Lancaster came forward, joining Lord (L/N).

The doctor looked at the guests before him, his sinister eyes purposefully lingering at Victor and (Y/N) who were blissfully whispering things to each other, laughing and not paying any attention to him or the Lord of the house.

He, then, smiled, just as V's eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed in anger of the manipulative man.

"As you wish, my Lord. And I will not falter. It is of great honor to announce that my beloved (Y/N) has agreed to finally join me in the altar to proclaim our wedding vows."

To this, the smile on Victor's lips vanished, and there was a look of utter shock in (Y/N)'s face. He dropped her hand, feeling the intensity of her supposed betrayal come down upon him like a rocky landslide.

"(Y/N)," Victor breathed in disbelief. " ... why?!"

"A cheers for the newly engaged!" Lord (L/N) announced, finally downing his wine as the others followed suit.

And right then and there, as the last drop of wine made contact with the greedy Lord's lips, he convulsed, collapsing on the stairs and dying in an instant, foam coming out of his opened mouth.

"Father!" (Y/N) called, unable to believe the chain of unlucky events that were crashing down upon her.

As everyone in the room shrieked and panicked, V's surroundings changed once more and he was transported to another room where (Y/N) was talking to the maidservant named Roselle. She and her personal maidservant were both wearing black.

"Roselle, I order you! Tell me what truly happened! Please!" (Y/N) pleaded, her eyes red and worn out due to the many tears she has shed. For her father who mysteriously died of poisoning, and Victor, who was still furious with her.

The poor blonde maid, now with more wounds on her face than ever, cried before (Y/N). "It's Lord Lancaster! He forced me to lie about young master Victor so your father would agree to have the doctor married to you!"

"Why?! Why didn't you tell me about all this?!"

"He threatened to kill me and my family!" Roselle kneeled in front of (Y/N) and clutched at the lacey helm of her black skirt. "Forgive me, my lady, please!"

"YOU, BITCH!"

V heard a furious howl from a distance at the same time the atmosphere around him changed. And as he opened his eyes, he saw several men in white taking away a body covered in a white blanket. It was lying in a stretcher, blonde hair coming out of the thin sheet.

Then, V saw (Y/N) reel in with pain, her face contorting in sheer torture. She held her stomach and kept one hand on her mouth as she ran away from the scene.

And before he could even catch up to her, the atmosphere changed once more, and he saw Daniella and Victor facing (Y/N) in another room.

With a black lace veil covering her face, she turned towards the two most precious people in her life and smiled at them.

"(Y/N), tell me you're lying!" Daniella begged her friend. "Tell me you won't marry that Lancaster! He has a reputation and,… he will kill you!”

"I have made up my mind. I will marry Christopher Lancaster." (Y/N) told them without so much as a pause or a tremble in her voice.

This made Victor inhale sharply as he turned on his heel and walked away from (Y/N) and Daniella. Not a minute has passed when (Y/N) went after him and called his name.

"Victor, please!" She begged as she collapsed on the floor and took hold of his cane.

"PLEASE, WHAT?!" Victor looked down at her, hurt and anguished beyond possibilities. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, (Y/N)?! WHAT IS IT?!"

"Listen to me! Please!" The girl pleaded as she cried and clung to his cane. "Let me explain! I - "

"SHUT UP!"

And then, the unmistakable happened: as Victor forcefully pulled the cane from (Y/N)'s grasp, it hit her face, making her fall sideways and hit her head quite badly.

And as her maidservant came to her, helping her on her feet as she wiped the blood off her nose, Victor left her there.

And (Y/N)? She cried and called him over and over again, begging him to not leave her.

But, he still left.

He left her.

"MR. V!"

He heard a familiar voice from a distance. And when he opened his eyes, he found Roman staring worriedly down at him. He sat up, his eyes stinging, his chest feeling heavy.

"Mr. V, are you okay?" Roman asked him as he and Griffon helped him.

"It's him." V whispered, feeling the pain in his chest increase.

"Who?"

The poet clutched at his chest, feeling his own tears come down his face at what he just witnessed. He looked at Roman and Griffon, and with an anguished voice, he spoke,

"It's Christopher Lancaster. He was the one,... behind (Y/N)'s suffering. And Victor,” V inhaled deeply as he clutched at the metal cane in his hand, his anger overwhelming him and taking over what’s left of his sensible reasoning as he began seeing red in utter madness and hatred. “He,… DID NOT LISTEN TO HER! HE,… LEFT HER!”

***

✒ @la-vita , @micaelagua , @v-vic , and @birdgirl69 . ✒

***

✒✒✒

***

[softforcal]

RAVENCLAW READER W/ GRYFFINDOR ASHTON. It's a whole concept. The way she's brainy and kinda closed off until she's with him, and he helps her be more adventurous, and he cannot get over how smart she is and how much she knows. So! Much! Teasing! because that's how he flirts but she's got smart snarky replies for everything. I'm nutting over this concept so hard 🙃🙃

GRYFFINDOR ASH X RAVENCLAW READER

-so you’re a ravenclaw and Ash has noticed you around but never really spoken to you

-Ravenclaws keep to themselves a lot because ya’ll are so busy

-so when Ash gets paired to be your lab partner in potions class he’s kind of like ‘well fuck this is going to be boring.’

-he sits down next to you and without even looking up from your potions book you’re like “whats got your panties in a rut Gryffindor boy?”

-he laughs immediately, “I’m Ashton.” he holds out a hand

-you continue reading “i know who you are.”

-”You’re Y/N.” he states, taking his hand back, his Gryffindor pride already a little wounded

-”yup.” you continue reading the book

-class starts and the teacher tells you the potion you’re all going to make

-you still don’t talk to him

-then around halfway through class you state: “you better tell your buddy over there that if he continues to stir the pot like that it’s going to explode.”

-Ashton doesn’t even know who you’re talking about because you’ve yet to look up from your book

-but then there’s a loud popping sound and the teacher goes “five points from Gryffindor Mr. Hemmings, have you not learnt to read instructions?”

-Ashton bursts out laughing and turns to you, “come on, how are you not laughing at that?”

-you shrug, “i’m making this potion, gotta be done first.”

-”you’ll for sure be done first.” Ashton assures you, stopping after he says it to be like why the fuck did i even just say that

-”you’ve never had a potions class with Calum Hood.” you say, focusing more on your work

-Ashton looks over and realizes Slytherin!Cal looks just as focused as you are

-”hate that guy.” Ashton states

-”get in line.”

-the class continues and you barely speak to Ashton as he tries to focus on what he’s supposed to be doing

-class is almost finished when you call the teacher over and he looks at your potion, “very good Y/N. Irwin you should take some tips from your partner, might learn a thing or two.”

-now that your potion is done you turn to Ashton, watching what he’s doing, “whats the difference between crush and chop?” you ask

-Ashton is kinda taken aback because obviously there’s a difference, “obviously chopping is when you cut something and crushing is when you crush something, aren’t you the Ravenclaw here?”

-you roll your eyes, focusing on your book

-Ashton raises his hand and the teacher comes over, “this is incorrect Mr. Irwin, it looks as though you you chopped the bitterroot instead of crushing it.”

-as soon as the teacher leaves Ashton turns to you, “you knew i was doing it wrong!” he yells

-”i asked if you knew the difference between crushing and chopping.” you shrug, “i would have helped but you seemed to think the difference was, whats the word you used? obvious?”

-class ends and you leave before Ashton can retort something witty and he stares after you as you go

-and so begins this odd partnership

-you start to open up a bit more and Ashton takes notice right away

-one class he just watches everything you do and tries to copy it and finally you give in and show him what to do

-and then comes the flirting

-”you know, i think you’d look good in red.” Ashton says one day. “i look great in blue.” you answer absentmindedly

-shut down

-the next class he shows up and when class starts he picks up the centaur heart ingredient (yes it’s gross as fuck but he is committing to this!) and he’s like “here, it’s my heart.” “thanks.” you say, taking it from him and cutting it in half before handing half of it back to him

-Ashton is deflated

-at this point Slytherin!Cal and Slytherin!Michael (who are lab partners) begin to notice Ashton floundering and not being able to flirt with you but that just eggs Ashton on to succeed

-so this boy is the Gryffindor Quidditch Beater and you bet your ass he’s going to come up with some Quidditch pick up lines

-”are you a snitch? because you’re the greatest catch here.” he grins. “sucks you weren’t good enough to be a seeker huh?” you say absentmindedly, not really paying attention to him

-this makes Cal and Michael burst out laughing

-because Cal is a seeker

-and he and Ashton hate each other

-so Cal comes over now, leaning in front of you, “I’m a seeker, does that make you my golden snitch babe?” he asks, that classic grin on his face

-”after your game against Hufflepuff last week i doubt you’d be a good enough seeker to catch me. or anything for that matter.” you state

-now Ashton is the one laughing as Cal glares and goes back to his seat

-every class Ashton fails super hard and after every class Luke pretends to be you with your witty comebacks and laughs his ass off

-”i just don’t know what it’s going to take.” Ashton sighs

-Luke shrugs, “then flirt with someone else. you have your pick of girls mate, what’s so special about this one?”

-”she just is.” Ashton snaps

-yeah, you’re special to him.

-next class he sits own, “do you like butterbeer?” he asks. you turn and look at him, “is this leading to some sort of joke because for once you have me stumped Irwin.” “no i’m being serious. i want to take you out for Butterbeer.”

-”okay.” “okay?! seriously? just like that?” he laughs.

-”yeah. you stopped dicking around and actually asked me out.” you shrug, “was wondering if you were a Gryffindor at all.”

-there’s the sass

-he smiles, “okay.”

-he smiles the entire class and it’s actually so sweet

-like no annoying shit or playing around

-just a happy little munchkin

-Calum glaring at Ashton the entire class

-class ends and as you stand you’re like “meet me in the great hall after dinner and we can go grab that Butterbeer.”

-leaving and he just watches you go and he is shook AF

-Luke getting him in a headlock as soon as you’re gone because “bro she said yes!”

-spending the rest of the day all happy

-at dinner Ashton can’t help but stare at you from his table and Luke of course teases him about that too

-your eyes meet his a few times and you always smile and look away which just makes Ash grin wider

-when you finish eating you stand up and Ashton follows your movements, leaving his practically uneaten dinner as he goes to meet you at the front of the great hall for your date

-”someone’s eager.” you tease

-he grins, “of course i am. it’s not every day the hottest Ravenclaw girl in history agrees to go on a date with a lowly Gryffindor.”

-you roll your eyes and the two of you head off walking

-you’re still pretty witty which he is in love with

-like, Ravenclaws are smart but this whole witty comeback thing is super hot

-he just grabs your hand while you’re walking and you just give him a look but you go with it

-yes, you have comebacks all the time but the Gryffindor boy has been growing on you, Potions is your favourite class because of him, and now that he’s proven he actually likes you and isnt just being a flirt like some guy (cough Luke Hemmings and cough Calum Hood) you might be down for this

-i mean, he still is a Gryffindor which is an unlikely match for you but he seems super sweet

-almost like a Hufflepuff. but that whole bravery hothead thing he has going on is both unbelievably sexy and also a definite Gryffindor thing

-its an interesting match to say the least

-so the date is amazing

-you just bounce shit off of each other and it works really well

-walking back up to the school and the entire time you’re asking yourself if he’s going to try to kiss you or not

-you get to the door to your common room and it’s the moment of truth

-then he goes for a hug

-you find yourself laughing

-”what?” he asks, pulling away

-”it’s nothing just… a true Gryffindor would make a move that’s all.” you grin

-and of course you’re practically asking for it

-and that witty teasing just gets him going

-he grabs your face and kisses you

-you melt into the kiss

-he pulls away and sighs, “see you tomorrow in class babe.”

-”oh so i’m ‘babe’ now?” you grin

-you never let this boy off the hook do you?

-he looks you over and nods, “yeah, you’re babe now.”

-you want to say something witty back but you can’t bring yourself to, instead you just say “okay.”

-for the first time he’s left you speechless

-you go into your common room and he goes to his

-smiles never leaving your faces the rest of the night

-going to class the next day and when he sits next to you his arm goes over the back of your chair like it’s the most normal thing in the world

-you want to say something witty but again you hold it back

-your wit can be a defence mechanism and something’s telling you that you don’t need to be that way with Ashton anymore

-Cal of course says something bitchy about Ashton’s arm under his breath

-and you snap back a witty reply before Ashton can even defend himself

-Ashton grins at you because you’re actually protecting him now

-its just sweet

-he’s in love with your wit already and it’s making him so soft

-and after that? well you two are practically connected at the hip

-a few Ravenclaws are confused because Ashton can be pretty out there and wild

-Gryffindors being kind of confused because you seem super nerdy and focused all the time

-until one day when one of them says something semi rude in front of you and you savagely wreck them with your wit

-Ashton laughs his ass off but after that no one questions the two of you

-study dates where Ashton just kisses your neck and tries to distract you then gets really distraught when it doesn’t work and resorts to extreme measures ;)

-trying to read your homework with this boys head between your legs

-you always give in and Ashton adores that

-studying in the stands while Ashton is at Quidditch practice and he gets so distracted by how cute you look studying in his red scarf

-he likes to get you out of your comfort zones

-he is a fan of throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you places that way

-he always drags you into supply closets and and no matter how often it happens you always scold him but he kind of adores it and grins into the kisses because “you’re such a Ravenclaw.”

-im so soft

-”how does it feel knowing your girlfriend is smarter than you?” Calum asks one day. “it feels fucking awesome.” Ashton answers without hesitation

-no pride hurt at all over that

-he adores you and all of your Ravenclaw tendencies

-(also B, if you have glasses and you do that thing where you’re constantly pushing them up Ashton would straight up nut because thats so cute)

-alone, you’re still pretty closed off but there’s a noticeable shift in you whenever Ashton is around and thats how people know you love him

-its obvious Ashton loves you

-you’re that super cute couple holding each other before exams, you quizzing Ashton who gets a kiss every time he answers correctly

-”you’ve been studying!” you grin when he gets five right in a row. “i have an amazing teacher babe.” he says with a kiss

-knowing that he is not intimidated at all by how smart you are

-he is so fucking proud of you

-no matter how many tests you ace he is always super excited for you

-just so much unconditional support

-wow. i am falling for this one fam.

-”if you have kids they have to wear purple.” Luke says one day

-like thats so random but so Luke to say fam

-a Slytherin being an asshole one day and asking Ash where his “crow” is and he beats the crap out of them (also Raven is literally in the name so like ????)

-always being there for Ashton if he gets injured in a Quidditch game

-going over the homework with him for classes he misses while injured and he’s just like “seriously babe give me a break.” but he adores it anyways

-he always tries to get you to come onto the infirmary bed with him but you never do because you’re a lady lol

-he whines sometimes but it’s super cute and always earns him kisses

-everyone knows he’s the corrupter. but in a soft way

-like the time he manages to drag you on top of him on the infirmary bed (despite a broken arm) and then a nurse comes in and is just like “you have to stop letting this Gryffindor corrupt you dearie.”

-and Ashton laughs his ass off because it’s so true

-also lets be real, Ravenclaws are secretly kinky fucks and ya’ll know all kinds of sex stuff and it would shake Ashton to the fucking core cuz holy fuck it was not expected

-this is just cute okay?

[airquietworks]

Hearts vs. Heroics or: How Uravity Surpassed the World’s Greatest Hero (IzuOcha) (Part 6)

Previous parts: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Chapter 6: As the Heart Turns

The whispers of Ochako's name pierced through her restful slumber.

It was difficult for her to make out what exactly what was being said. Regardless, the words hovered around her ears, buzzing like insects. It was more than a little annoying when all she wanted to do was rest. There was a weariness etched deep into her muscles, making them difficult to move — not that she would want to right now. Her head was throbbing, periodically spiking in pain, preventing any hope of peace of mind.

The dark numbness enveloping her entire form started to lift as the conversations continued. She wanted to enjoy whatever rest she could manage, but it grew increasingly difficult to ignore the hushed voices around her. With a soft moan, Ochako tried to open her eyes, despite how heavy they were.

It took a mighty effort, but she managed to lift her eyelids, letting in the light of the outside world. Everything was fuzzy at first, but slowly came into clearer focus. She blinked to mitigate the harsh light beaming down on her. Mercifully, the light overhead was quickly blocked out by a pair of shadowy visages.

As the hazy world came back into focus, Ochako was met with the lovely sight of her parents. Their faces were a complicated picture of emotion; there was relief, with a pair of beaming smiles that filled her with a warmth reminding her once more of home. But they both looked weepy, too, their eyes sunken with a weariness she could empathize with.

She only had a moment to process the troubling, yet heartwarming image before the area around her exploded in a cacophony of excitement.

"Ochako!"

"Uraraka!"

"Honey!"

"Would you lot be quiet?!"

The indignant voice of Recovery Girl did little to stem the tide of emotions from the assembled group around Ochako.

She could hardly move her body – every part of it felt like it was weighed down by a pile of bricks. But her parents eagerly made up for that, gently grabbing each of her hands and clutching them while blubbering about how worried about her. She could not feel either of the arms they were touching – she was probably filled with a lot of painkillers – but appreciated the gesture just the same.

"I'm…." Ochako struggled to summon the energy to respond to her parents' concerned ramblings but pushed through her weariness to speak. It was important.

But she caught her tongue before she spoke. She wanted to say, "I'm alright," but realized such a statement was unbelievable, given the situation.

"I'm glad you're here," Ochako murmured in a low voice, trying to squeeze both her parent's hands in comfort. She could barely move her fingertips, but the gesture sent them both into a fresh round of tears.

"You were so amazing, honey!" Her mother beamed at her.

"I thought I was going to pass out!" Her father stated with brutal honesty, sniffling through his tears.

"I have no idea how you were able to do all that!" Her mother continued as she gently stroked Ochako's hand with her thumb.

"You…I…how did you get up after all of that?" Her father's voice was filled with astonishment as he leaned closer, searching Ochako's eyes.

"I…I guess that's…" Ochako struggled to answer, causing both her parents to clam up. They saw the pressure they were putting on her and immediately relented, sitting back in their seats next to her bed and giving her some breathing room. Ochako smiled at her parents' thoughtfulness.

But she still struggled to think of the words to explain what had happened in her fight with Deku. She struggled to even fully recall what happened herself; she was pretty sure she got a concussion at some point but had fought on anyway.

By all measures, there was no way she should have won. So how was she able to get the upper hand on Deku? Why did he not just knock her out of the ring?

Chancing a glance up at her parents beseeching faces, Ochako summoned a weak smile and came up with the best answer she could manage.

"I just…I guess it's just what every hero has to do sometimes. 'Plus ultra' and all that," Ochako explained. She tried to summon her trademark bubbly tone, but found she could not quite muster the energy.

Her parents glanced at one another, making a silence exchange, their eyes a little fearful. Ochako squinted at the two, herself worried about their evident unease.

"You were pretty incredible out there, Uraraka." Iida's voice penetrated the awkward pause between her and her parents. Ochako's eyes grew wide as she lifted her head up to look past her parents to see Iida, Mina and Tsuyu standing near the foot of her bed.

She realized she was back in the infirmary room, which was a lot less cluttered with throes of injured students. As a result, her bed was now right next to the door. She could see Recovery Girl off to the left, grumbling to herself next to the still sleeping Sero while scribbling frantically in a large clipboard. Ochako sighed at the setting, wishing she was not returning here so often.

Not wanting to dwell on it, Ochako turned her attention back to her friends and the happier thoughts they could provide.

"Hey guys," Ochako greeted them with what enthusiasm she could manage. "Sorry, I didn't see you there at first.

"No problem at all, ribbit," Tsuyu piped up. Ochako noticed a few bandages across Tsuyu's face and frowned. She knew Tsuyu was fighting Bakugo after her own bout. Had she missed it? And what had happened?

"I lost to Bakugo. He was pretty mad about your fight with Midoriya and I got the receiving end of it," Tsuyu explained, observant to Ochako's eyes wandering to her bandages. Tsuyu did not sound too put off by it, but her face still sunk a bit at the pronouncement.

"Oh shoot, sorry about that Tsu," Ochako said, wishing she could move to give her friend some kind of consoling gesture. But her froggy companion waved a hand at her.

"It's fine. I didn't think I was going to win anyway," Tsuyu replied assuredly. "I figure I showed up well enough on stage to land a decent job out of school."

"That's a relief…" Ochako sighed, the pressure she felt her alleviating, if only slightly. "What else happened?"

"Todoroki defeated Kirishima. It was closer than I would have expected," Iida recounted matter-of-factly. "Tokoyami is up against Tetsutetsu next, but we wanted to come and check up on you."

"Aww, thanks guys," Ochako felt a fulfilling warmth in her as she smiled at the people around her. She was truly blessed with wonderful friends.

Which naturally made her beg the question when she noticed a certain someone was not near her bedside.

"Where's Deku?" Ochako asked. Her parents did not react to the question, but her friends all made sidelong glances away from her.

"He was pretty shaken up by your bout as well," Iida explained. "He had to get healed, but he was not nearly as…physically injured as you were. He went off with All Might a while ago.

"He didn't really want to talk about the fight, ribbit," Tsuyu added, resting her cheek on her elongated finger. "Must have really taken a lot out of him."

"I've been dying to ask," Mina piped up, not able to mitigate the excitement from her voice. "What exactly were you talking to him about near the end there?"

Ochako blinked at the question, unable to immediately recall. She struggled to think back to those moments before the bizarre end to the fight, where her headlong rush had somehow worked.

The throbbing of her head in those moments made the memories difficult to recall and she strained her mind to do so. She remembered feeling so happy about his encouragement. Then there was her realization she'd have to push beyond her limits in everything if she was going to defeat him. And then she had decided to let go of all of those doubts inhibiting her. She had talked to Deku about it. Said nothing would get in her way. Not his power. Not even...

"It doesn't matter that I love you!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Ochako cried out at the memory. She would have almost certainly been screaming had she the vocal strength for it. As it was, her hands instinctively flew to her flushing cheeks, numbness be damned. She felt herself starting to lift off the bed before her parents frantically reached out to pull her back down.

She had done it. Somehow, unintentionally, in a bloody, adrenaline-fuelled haze, she had confessed to him. She had not even realized it! His wide-eyes and sluggish reactions at the end of their fight made so much more sense now. The confession had stunned him! He was still reeling from it when she assaulted him!

As her parents struggled to pull her back down to Earth, Ochako tried to come to grips with it all. She had won…but in the most underhanded of ways. She had unintentionally weaponized her love for him to gain an advantage. A gnawing pit of guilt settled deep into her stomach and she felt sweat start to form on her brow.

She saw Tsuyu and Iida move closer to her around the bed, looking concerned. But Mina leaned over with a knowing, impish little smile on her face. The pinkish fiend gave her this look that told Ochako she now knew exactly what had happened.

"What's wrong honey?" Her mother asked her with urgency as she desperately pushed Ochako's back down onto the bed. Ochako mumbled wordlessly and released her quirk, letting her sore arms fall back to her side.

"Are you hurting anywhere? Should I go call the nurse over?" Her father grabbed onto Ochako's hand, staring at her fiercely, trying to get a read on his daughter's well being.

"I…I…I…" Ochako stammered and tried to explain her reaction. But how could she? How could she explain that she had made everything go wrong by blurting out something so embarrassing? How could she admit to winning that way?

Ochako gulped before taking a deep breath to steady herself. There was no way she could tell anybody here what had really happened. So she'd have to fall back to her old default.

"Sorry, just had a really awful migraine come over me," Ochako murmured, putting a hand to her forehead and rubbing her temple pointedly. "The pain comes and goes but I'm…I'm okay enough now."

It was as if she was a performer on a theatrical stage and a myriad of spotlights were shining down on her. Every one of her assembled friends and family gave her scrutinizing glances, none of which looked particularly convinced by her plea.

But her father sighed and gave Ochako a merciful escape from further probing.

"Well, you should probably get some more rest then," her father suggested, a tired smile emerging on his face.

"We'll leave you to it," her mother added, standing up in time with her father. Ochako immediately felt a chill as the two moved away from her bedside.

With very little fanfare, her compatriots all filed out of the room in an orderly fashion. Ochako felt a tinge of regret at her avoidance of the question. But as her headache continued to cause pain and muck her thoughts up, she realized it might indeed be best to rest without straining herself trying to explain her victory over Deku.

"See you later, Ochako," Tsuyu said cheerily, waving as she exited the room.

"Make sure you get some good rest before your next match," Iida stated, waving a flat hand her enthusiastically. Ochako nodded at him, smiling at his care as he waltzed out of the room.

"Ciao! Hope you can give me some juicier details about your fight later!" Mina exclaimed gleefully with a wink. Ochako averted her eyes and grumbled to herself about Mina's teasing. The girl did not let up.

But as her parents reached the doorframe to leave her to her own thoughts, Ochako was suddenly overcome with a memory. Her mind flashed briefly to her younger self once again, her tiny hands reach merrily out to the stars.

"Wait!" Ochako called out, managing to lift a hand out towards her parents. The pair turned to regard her, worry still lining their faces. Ochako frowned, wishing desperately she could take away those glum expressions.

"Can we…talk for a bit? Just us?" Ochako beseeched softly, letting her hand gently fall back down onto the bed.

Her parents did not hesitate, quickly returning to her bedside. Out of the corner of her eye, Ochako could see Mina peek her head into the door, but she was quickly yanked back out of the infirmary room.

"What is it, Ochako?" Her father asked, reaching out to grab her right hand again. The familiar soft grip of his skin sent another wave of nostalgia through Ochako, making it even more difficult to gather her thoughts.

With a deep breath, Ochako tried to get the words off of her chest

"I….I just wanted to thank you. For…for everything," Ochako said solemnly. She watched her parents' eyebrows raise in unison, the two exchanging confused glances, but she did not let that give her pause. "For supporting me and always telling me to chase after my own dreams. I…I don't think I would have won that last fight if you hadn't."

She had thought that wanting to bring a stable, happy life for her family was enough for her dream. And no force in this world would ever stop her from working towards that goal.

But there was more desire than that in her heart now. Really, there had been for a while. Trying to chase Deku for all this time meant she had to extend herself to her limits and reach beyond what might be strictly necessary for her to be a wealthy pro. If she was going to keep up with the future number one, she had to be willing to dream a little bigger, too.

Even on a dream as childish as grabbing onto a falling star.

"You don't need to thank us Ochako," her father offered simply, gently stroking her hand. "All we've ever wanted was to see you happy and chasing your own dreams. You're the one that's been working so hard to make that a reality."

Ochako let out a breathy sigh, trying to reign in her more outward emotional impulses. Her father always could get her to weepy.

"No matter what we do, we'll always support you," her father continued. "I'm glad if that helps you in any way. And I'm glad if you're pursuing what makes you happy, too."

"I'm still going to give you a happy life," Ochako interjected forcefully. She needed to make that clear. There was nothing in this world that should shake her from that path. That was a vital part of the happy future she wanted.

"And I know nothing I can do will make you let go of that one," her father replied, chuckling. "But there's a whole world of possibility for you besides that. And whatever it is you reach for, I know you'll be able to do it."

"I…I'm going to have a hard time worrying about you after watching that fight," her mother piped in, expression a little downcast. "But I know nothing I can say now would ever stop you, even if I wanted to try. You're always going to be my little girl but…but you're Uravity now. I know that's who you are, too."

"It's amazing to see how much fast you're growing," her father added. "We couldn't be prouder."

Ochako thought her face might burst from the force of her smile. Her parents got a little more difficult to see through her watery eyes, something she had no hope of preventing.

She pushed through all the numbness to move off the bed and extend her arms wide. Her parents caught onto the idea quickly and wrapped her up in the loving embrace she sought. They had to lean over, and the bed between them made the whole gesture a little more awkward, but it hardly mattered.

"Thank you," Ochako whispered. She wished she could capture the words that could possibly encapsulate the sheer joy she felt at her parents understanding. A part of her had wondered if they might be upset with her about how hard she pushed herself in the ring, but that fear had been swiftly extinguished.

"Okay, you should really get some rest, honey," her mother suggested, gently, guiding Ochako back to lay back down.

"You've got a big fight coming up," her father added. But he threw In a cocky half-grin and a thumbs up. "But if that last fight was any indication, there's no way you can lose!"

Ochako smiled at the comment. It was sweet to see him trying to be more confident in her. If nothing else, if she had inspired some confidence in her parents, she could take some happiness out of her fight with Deku.

"But we'll support you no matter what the result!" her mother chimed in, hands waving a little frantically.

"Oh, yeah, of course!" her father added, scratching the back of his head and letting out another laugh.

Her head was still aching, but the smile never left Ochako's face. Even as her body's exhaustion reminded her of how heavy a toll she had to pay to do the incredible feats she wanted to, the warm feeling in her chest from her parents' pride made it all worth it.

Ochako sighed happily as her consciousness started to fade. There was so much she would have to sort through. There would probably a lot of pain ahead. But for this moment, she left herself be buoyed by the most important people in the world to her.

Her dreams started with a distant whisper.

"No matter what…you'll always be…our hero."

Ochako felt like she was floating.

It was not like she was unbound by gravity, as usual. Rather, she felt like some sort of spirit, or a wisp of the wind, free to fly around in the sky. It would have surely been liberating, were there not a permeating sense of heat around her, radiating into her skull, making everything seem fuzzier.

But despite the disruptive haze hanging around her head, Ochako could still see herself. A different version of herself, more physically solid and with feet on the ground. She winced at her own condition; bloody, bruised, grounded by a broken ankle and gritting her teeth in frustration.

She realized she was watching herself in the throes of trying to stand back up to keep fighting Deku. By all reason, she should have tapped out of the fight at this point. She was running on fumes and even if she could keep fighting, she had no realistic way to win against Deku.

But despite everything, she slowly stood back up, Deku spurring her on. A fiery aura manifested around her embattled self, almost blinding to the eye, as she rose up like a phoenix.

Ochako watched herself charge forward with all her fury. But just as Deku got ready to blow her away, the words came out:

"It doesn't matter that I love you"

"It doesn't matter that I love you"

"it doesn't matter that I love you"

The mantra echoed through the stadium, the faceless crowd shouting it along with her. A bell rung each time the words were uttered and Ochako reached for her ears, trying to block out the constant echo of those humiliating words.

She could not believe she had let that slip out. Like every other obstacle before him, Deku had smashed through the carefully curated walls she had built around the deepest parts of herself. The words had just tumbled off her tongue as she grabbed onto the newfound resolve within herself in order to keep fighting.

It was not the way she wanted to win. As she watched Deku suddenly stumble around like a drunkard at her sudden confession, she knew she would not blame him in the slightest if he hated her for it.

The world started to tilt on its axis and Ochako found herself struggling to stay balanced as everything else spun around her. She tried to keep watching the fight carry on, but it was difficult to manage through the bright light of the flames emanating from her other self.

Ochako watched herself punch Deku hard in the face not two minutes after confessing her love for him. She chuckled darkly at the irony before the world started to tilt even further. Without warning, Ochako suddenly found herself falling into the sky, leaving behind the cheering stadium of blank faces.

As she fell towards the clouds, Ochako turned her body around to face the sky she was falling into. Its colours quickly switched, from a bright, blue sea into a glorious orange horizon of fire.

As the night started to fall, and the bright lights of the stars surrounded Ochako, she let her fear dissipate. A part of her knew she should be terrified, but she pushed aside that feeling.

She was right where she belonged.

Ochako's head pounded as the dull lights from the infirmary came back into her vision. It was disorienting trying to recall where she was as her dreams slowly receded from her consciousness, fading like the gentle stroke of fingertips. A part of her mind desperately tried to hold onto the fragments of her dreams, which she knew were important. Watching herself fight Deku…professing her love…falling into the stars…what else was there?

She sighed deeply and tried to move her limbs, which were a little more cooperative than before. There was still some soreness, but the unrelenting numbness had faded. She could move her arms with little difficulty now, as opposed to having to struggle to make them budge.

With the newfound freedom, Ochako got herself up, rubbing her eyes as her mind still busied herself with trying to recall her fleeting dreams.

It was weird, but dreams were always like that. Still, watching herself fight Deku…it felt like something she needed to see. Maybe her subconscious was trying to tell her something. A push to reconsider her fight, which she knew was going to frustrate her for a while to come.

She found herself instinctively tensing her hands as she recalled the echoing words. "It doesn't matter that I love you." The words that would haunt her until she could confront Deku about them.

But there was something strangely magical about seeing her fight on right after confessing. She had let go of all of her inhibitions, hangups, and self-doubt in the last moments of that battle. And although she was horribly guilty about how she had ended it, those doubts had not held her back at all.

She may not have been able to defeat Deku in an honest way – and personally felt like it hardly counted considering – but she could beat Deku. At least, that's what she knew she had to believe. If not today, then the next.

Ochako looked down at her hands, stretching out her fingertips, which held the power to control gravity itself. She could no longer be content in letting that power be spent chasing his shadow. She had to go beyond that. She had to aim beyond even him, wherever that would lead her.

That was what it meant to go 'Plus Ultra.'

But there were the more personal hang-ups she had to think about, too. Ochako closed her eyes and took a deep breath to keep herself steady as she pondered the "other" truth of her battle with Deku. One that immediately made her heart's periodic thumping just a little heavier.

She had confessed to Deku…and attacked him right afterward.

She had laid her love out in the open…and it did not stop her.

She had broken the bars around her heart, letting it burst free from its cage…and she had, technically, won one of the most important fights of her life right afterward.

Her love had not held her back.

She kept her eyes closed and took a deep breath. She wanted to keep her heart as settled as possible, lest it cloud her thoughts.

Her desire to achieve her goals and her own heroic zeal were stronger than her love for Deku. That was not new information. But she had always feared letting that love free could change that. That maybe it had already been changing that without her realizing it.

But in a moment where she let herself her love for him out in the open, she was immediately able to move past it to do what she needed to. When the chips were down, her love was no stumbling block.

Had she been going about it all the wrong way with her feelings for Deku?

"What. The. Hell. Was. That. YOU. LOSER!"

The booming voice drew the eyes of Ochako, and several others in the room, toward the doorway. It was distant, an echo bouncing off of the walls, but impactful nonetheless. There was no mistaking the gravelly voice of Katsuki Bakugo.

Based on his tone, Ochako got a sinking feeling Deku was the current subject of his ire.

Ochako did not hesitate. She lifted her reluctant limbs, pushing herself off of the bed. She moved far enough with her arms to sit on the side of the soft surface, pushing her legs off of the bed. She tested her left ankle, which she realized was wrapped solidly in a splint. No good.

She sighed and curled her fingers, activating her quirk on to make moving around an easier task. With a mighty heave, she pushed herself to a standing position, letting herself balance weightlessly on one foot. She let herself lean on the wall close to her bed, her vision filling with pale white. She took a deep breath and prepared to push off down the hall in search of the confrontation.

"Where do you think you're going, missy?"

Ochako jumped slightly, her arms swinging in front of her instinctively to block an attacker. But she was only met with the sight of Recovery Girl, the stout nurse sending her a deathly glare with her hands on her hips.

Ochako gulped at the piercing gaze of the elderly matron. Truly, she was an intimidating foe.

"Uh…I just wanted to…take a walk?" Ochako uttered awkwardly while sending a shaky smile towards the woman. Recovery Girl's face did not budge.

"You should be healing in bed. In fact, you should be out of this tournament on a precautionary basis, although I already lost that one," Recovery Girl grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her.

Ochako tried to come up with a good response to that, her tongue catching at the edge of her mouth. How could she explain it? Being a hero often meant pushing through injury to keep fighting. But Recovery Girl had almost certainly heard that a million times before.

"Is it that important?" Recovery Girl asked, halting Ochako's train of thought in its tracks.

Ochako blinked at the question but did not need long to consider. She needed to see Deku. And possibly rescue him. "Yes, I think it is."

Recovery Girl let out a deep sigh, her face faltering and her arms dropping to her side. She looked up at Ochako and regarded her with a neutral expression. "Keep your quirk on. Don't take long enough for your nausea to start up again. Do not go far and get back to bed as soon as you can. If you expect to do anything in the next round, you need all the rest you can get."

Ochako nodded enthusiastically as Recovery Girl stepped away, leaving Ochako's path for the doorway open.

"Thank you," Ochako stated softly as Recovery Girl turned her back to the hero. Truly, the nurse was a strange, yet kindly enigma.

Without much time to spare given Recovery Girl's requirement, Ochako moved out of the room as quickly as she could, pushing off with her right foot while guiding herself forward by grabbing onto the nearest wall.

She heard a pair of voices in conversation, Bakugo's voice overpowering the other. As she moved around a bend in the halls towards the voices, her suspicions as to who he was talking to were quickly confirmed.

"I just can't, okay?" Deku's voice was soft and unsure against the overpowering shouts Bakugo was letting out.

"What the hell do you mean, you can't? You lost a fight like that and you can't even say why!"

"It's…I'm sorry, Kacchan."

The two came into view as Ochako turned around the corner into an empty hallway. Deku was slumped hard against the wall, eyes glued to the floor, shoulders slouched and looking like he was doing everything in his ability to avoid eye contact with his rival. Bakugo, on the other hand, was glaring at the green-haired boy intensely, hovering over him, his hands shaking at his sides and clawed as if he was about to unleash his explosive quirk.

"What's going on here?" Ochako asked softly, breaking through the tension between the rivals.

The two flashed their eyes towards her direction as she entered the scene. Deku's eyes widened in alarm before he quickly averted them as his cheeks went red. Bakugo's glare narrowed as he took one step back from his rival and redirected his angry eyes towards her.

Ochako matched the explosive boy's gaze, refusing to back down. She might have her fears about facing Bakugo, but after all that she'd been through, she was not going to let them get the best of her.

She felt an electricity start to spark between them, a familiar tingle of anticipation hitting her as she squared up against her next opponent in the tournament. Neither was willing to back down, their eyes locked in a fiery battle of wills. Ochako felt her eyes twinge painfully as she glared into the red irises of the explosive boy in front of her, but kept her gaze steady. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Deku glancing frantically between them.

Unfortunately, Ochako could not hold her eyes open for too long, blinking to break the staring contest. With that, Bakugo let his hands fall more leisurely at his sides.

"Nothing, Uraraka. This loser won't say anything anyhow," Bakugo grumbled. "He's hardly worth the time."

"He's not a loser," Uraraka declared fiercely, taking a small step forward with her right foot. She did not care to see Deku put down by Bakugo today. Especially since Deku could hardly be faulted for the loss that had clearly drawn Bakugo's rage.

"Shut it. Last I checked, he's not the one moving on to the next round," Bakugo noted, keeping his eyes affixed to his future opponent. "Let me get one thing straight. I'm not going to take it easy on you next round like he did."

The words stung, taking Ochako aback. She tried to maintain her fierce façade, but the gears in her head were whirring. Just how obvious was it to people that Deku had not been fighting at his best?

Still, she could hardly display that uncertainty. So she instead answered him with a sharp nod.

"I won't be holding anything back either," she stated fiercely, keeping herself as steady as she could on one foot.

Bakugo grumbled wordlessly and turned his back to the two of them, feet stomping hard on the tile floor as he walked away. But he paused briefly to turn around, sending one last glare Ochako's way.

"I will crush you."

The threat intensified the air for a moment after Bakugo walked away and the Ochako was left to stew about fighting him in the Summer Sports Festival again. In different circumstances, she would be beset with nerves at the prospect of fighting Bakugo and wracking her mind for some kind of strategy to take down the most ferocious student of U.A.

But as she met Deku's gaze, her love's eyes widened in fear, she knew she had more immediate problems to worry about.

AN: Thank you to Kingdom Lightz and the IzuOcha Discord writers for editing this. So this ended up being slightly longer than expected. Good news is, the story is ending Chapter 8 instead of the planned Chapter 6! I am overwhelmingly thankful for all the support this story has received, particularly for the previous chapter. I conjured up Chapter 5′s climax in my head and found it profound enough to want to try to build a complete story around it. I’m glad so many people reacted to the scene and found it worth commenting on. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please like and/or reblog if you did ^_^

[ruffoverthinksthings]

There's something I have to ask you that has some of its roots far before Descendants, but seriously....wtf is up with Frollo?! I'm interested in his character because of his deep complexities for a Disney Villian (never mind the Hugo novel), but why cant he get a grip on raising children and building a healthy family? Even as a product of the medieval era , that can't be an excuse for his dysfunctional relationships with others(progressive people like Esmeralda and Phoebus existed back then 1/2

Mymain question to you is ,what do you think it is about him that cantsee the pain he causes to claudine/ not esme and the entire HONDcast? What ever happened to him in his childhood ( nature vsnurture), that makes him nearly impossible to reach past his veil ofdarkness. Even in his attempt to redeem himself in the eyes of hisLord, with Claudine, is he forever delusional? Can he change in thisuniverse and what would it take? 2/2

There’sthree key concepts that explain why Frollo still can’t redeemhimself, see the pain, the suffering, the wrongdoing he’s causingin the name of God and his ideas of what is “Good.” These are:

CognitiveDissonance

TheMyth of Redemptive Violence by Walter Wink, and

SexualSuppression in the Catholic Church, and the ideas of ReligiousLeaders being beyond the common man

Allof these are actually easily explainable using the lyrics ofHellfire:

BeataMariaYou know I am a righteous manOf my virtue I amjustly proud

BeataMariaYou know I'm so much purer thanThe common, vulgar,weak, licentious crowd

Thentell me, MariaWhy I see her dancing thereWhy hersmold'ring eyes still scorch my soulI feel her, I seeherThe sun caught in her raven hairIs blazing in me outof all control

Here,we see what Frollo thinks of himself: a saint among sinners, a man ofstrong faith in a land of unbelievers, someone who does Good whereasthe rest fall into Temptation and Sin.

Likemajority of the leaders of the Catholic Church, and especiallybecause it’s in the Medieval Era, he is seen as someone who isinherently above his fellow man, better, purer, more virtuous, whichis why he deserves to hold his position, and use all the power andinfluence that affords him.

Butthen, Esmeralda comes along, he is tempted by her beauty, and herealizes that he is not as invulnerable and incorruptible as hethought he was.

Unfortunatelyfor all of us, he refuses to take responsibility for it.

It'snot my faultI'm not to blameIt is the gypsy girlThewitch who sent this flameIt's not my faultIf in God'splanHe made the devil so muchStronger than a man

Here,he refuses to believe that there’s any fault in him, that he isstill prone to temptation despite his beliefs; rather, he engages inwhat is called “Scapegoating,” putting all the blame inEsmeralda, going so far as to irrationally cast her as some wickedenchantress with powers that he doesn’t stand a chance ofresisting, than just a woman he is fully capable of getting over.

However,that involves him admitting that he was wrong about his belief thathe is incorruptible and “holier than thou,” and he wants toprotect that idea, more than he actually wants to be it, simplybecause it’s less distressing for him.

Thisis called Cognitive Dissonance, the stress someone experiencesfrom having a belief or more than directly oppose their actions andbehaviours.

Otherexamples of Cognitive Dissonance are:

Someonewho believes themselves a healthy person despite having a pack-a-daycigarette habit;

Someonewho buys a product or a service and it doesn’t turn out nearly asgood as they thought it would, so they make all manner of excuses andjustifications to make it better (in their minds); and

Someonewho stays in a relationship that has long past its expiration date,because they don’t believe themselves to be someone who gets it“wrong” with something as important as romantic relationships.

Peoplesuffering from cognitive dissonance often find ways to “spin”things and defend their original beliefs, rather than reevaluate whatthey thought was true and their identity. Rationality, logic, orconsistency ceases to matter to them; sparing themselves from thedistress that they were wrong or are acting against their beliefstakes priority above everything else.

Withthe above examples:

Thesmoker convinces themselves that cigarette smoking isn’t reallythat bad for their health (it’s actually worse);

Thatthe price, the manufacturer, or some other quality of the product orservice automatically makes it better despite the reality of it, likewith the exploding Samsung phones incident, and people refusing toreturn them in spite of the danger to themselves and everyone else;and

Thatthey can still salvage the relationship, that all the problems andissues are not nearly as bad as they are, and that they simply haveto try harder.

WithFrollo, he chooses the Myth of Redemptive Violence.

Inits essence, it’s “Good Vs Evil,” “The Final Clash,” theBook of Revelations where the forces of the Righteous do battle withthe Wicked, purging all that is unholy and ushering in a new, betterworld, or bringing all those deserving into heaven.

It’sinteresting because you see this constantly with all of Disney’sfilms with a classic “Villain” antagonist: there’s PrincePhilip slaying Maleficent; Tiana and Naveen outsmarting Dr. Facillierand letting his Friends from the Other Side do their thing; andTarzan doing battle with Clayton.

Theymay or may not have a direct hand in bringing about theirdoom—Clayton accidentally hung himself because of his refusal toaccept Tarzan’s help, for example—but it’s always VERY clear tothe audience that A) the protagonists are “good” people, B) theantagonists are “evil” people, and C) there is no redeeming the“villains,” there’s only killing, jailing, or trapping them inan enchanted lamp, because they will never turn to good.

Asstated above, Frollo believes himself to be a righteous man, theepitome of goodness, the Holy Servant of God, and people that don’tfit into his worldview are declared “Wicked” and must beslain. He has killed numerous gypsies, has been responsiblefor the death and/or suffering of numerous innocent civilians, andalmost drowned Quasimodo in a well, if it weren’t for the ArchDeacon warning him of his hypocrisy.

Inhis views, there is no salvation, no forgiveness of the sinner, noramending for your wicked ways—there is only judgment, and yoursentence is death.

Protectme, MariaDon't let the siren cast her spellDon't let herfire sear my flesh and boneDestroy EsmeraldaAnd let hertaste the fires of Hell!Or else let her be mine and mine alone

Here,Frollo shows just how extreme and devoid of nuance his sense ofmorality is—either you live, or you die. He also shows more of hisCognitive Dissonance and Redemptive Violence once more, where hepleads that—against the customs and the traditions of the church,and the scandal that would erupt— Esmeralda be “given” to him.

Thisis especially poignant as the Catholic Church has a massive,well-known history of suppressing sexuality and policing the sexualbehaviour of their followers and especially their ordained leaders,usually to disastrous results.

Insteadof giving them a chance to it in healthy ways, or to treat havingsexual urges as a natural thing, the Catholic church paints it asweakness, a flaw in you, a sign that you have failed and that you areshameful, awful, and a sinner for having them in the first place.

“Shaming”someone is the BEST way to get someone to do the thing you’reshaming them for—as you cut their self-esteem, and make thembelieve that they are weak and deficit in some manner, the morelikely they will be to do the vice or the crime because they want tofeel better, and the more likely they will accept that they truly AREbeyond saving, that there’s no hope for salvation, so fuck it,let’s do the thing.

Itgets even worse in the ending of Hellfire:

HellfireDarkfireNow gypsy, it's your turnChoose me orYourpyreBe mine or you will burnGod have mercy on herGodhave mercy on meBut she will be mineOr she will burn!

Here,Frollo shows the depths of his hypocrisy and the amazing mentalacrobatics he’s performing, saying “God have mercy” whilstpromising the opposite of mercy: death, or enslavement.

Here,Frollo shows that he’s no longer following the doctrines, the laws,or the traditions of the church, what God decreed or Jesus relayed tohis followers.

Here,Frollo shows that all he truly follows is what he believes to beRight—what is Right for him.

Iassumed that this behaviour follows him onto the Isle, where he has avery warped sense of religious morality that is really just hisselfish desires, being justified in his eyes by tacking the name ofGod onto it, much like Richard “Rick” Ratcliffe.

Whycan’t he get a grip on a loving marriage, relating in healthymanners to people, and building a loving family life for Claudine?

Because,like the rest of the Villains, he wasn’t marrying and having kidsfor unselfish reasons, he was using his ex-wife Salome to satisfy hissexual needs, is still using Claudine as a means to fulfillhis broken dreams and ambitions, and is unconsciously using them bothto serve himself first and foremost.

Thesexuality that was Frollo’s downfall has not disappeared—it’sstill there, and I’d argue it’s actually stronger consideringthe constant state of stress and despair in the Isle that forcespeople to resort to their basest instincts, and engage in whateverwill give them some measure of relief.

However,instead of going the healthy route of acknowledging that he isflawed, and that he should return to attempting celibacy in spite oftemptation, Frollo merely twists his lustful desires into somethingthat would be acceptable in his beliefs, and that of hiscongregation.

Howdoes he achieve this? Marriage, with all the intercourse for thepurpose of reproduction, and reproduction only.

I’dimagine that, after becoming the only Catholicreligious leader alive or not yet renouncing his faith, and thedeplorable state of everything and the VKsbeing raised, he sees himselfas some kind of New Adam,meant to be the progenitor of anew race of “Good, Christian People” who would eventually becomethe inheritors of this wretched hell, take it away from the hands ofthe Demon Queen that rules it (Maleficent), and rebirth it as aparadise.

Beforeyou ask, yes, he could be the CELIBATE steward of this new world,taking care of his non-ordained congregation’s children, but thatwouldn’t let him satisfy his sexual needs, and is thus not anoption in his mind.

Andbefore you ask why he doesn’t get flack about this, all of thepeople on the Isle are criminals, and if you weren’t living in thedeplorable conditions they were BGU, you learn to loosen yourstandards right quick here.

That,and they can be manipulated easily and lead to believe that undercertain circumstances, marriage and sexual intercourse with Judgesare possible—a lot of these people can’t read, and have noconcept of critical thinking.

Whyis he like this with Claudine, raising her up to be an ideal ratherthan a person?

Becausehe know he’s old, he knows he’s weak, and he’s essentiallytrapped in his church and a small area around it in Temple Way—he’sunable to bring the fight to the Islanders (not including hiscongregation, because they’re obviously theexception), be it ideologically or especially physically, so he hasto raise an army to do it for him.

Claudineis not just his daughter to him, or his Flock—she is a Messiahfigure to them, the “child that will lead them” as the actualJesus Christ was, the true successor to Frollo’s church when heinevitably passes away.

Sowhenever she starts to deviate from his ideals (i.e. growing up to beher own person, independent of her father’s desires), he doesn’tsee it as cruel and manipulative to mess with her emotions likethis—he sees himself as a sculptor making sure that this livingclay does not end up malformed, that she is completely, absolutelyperfect in every waypossible.

I’dalso be remiss not to mention that poor nutrition, dementia, and oldage have taken a serious tollon him.

Ishis being a product of the Medieval Era an excuse for hisdysfunctional socialinteractions?

Itis, actually!

Phoebusand Esmeralda are shown to be progressives in the movie, but theproblem is, they’re still the exception,not the rule; the world ofFrance in 1482 is nowhere NEAR the level of multiculturalism anddiversity we see today.

Mostpeople of that erawill never even leave the towns they live in, let alone be able tohave the means to travel vast continents and entire oceans to meetpeople unlike themselves—and as European Spice Expeditions haveshown, the interaction is more likely to be lethalto the natives than friendly, let alone romantic.

There’salso the fact that if a foreigner lives in France, it’s usuallyfrom a slave trade of some sort or as part of a roving band of apersecuted minority, like Esmeralda and the rest of the Romanipeople.

Thetimes they live in are very xenophobic, with very black and whitemorality—there are only sinners and the faithful, and again, withFrollo, there is no room for outsiders like Esmeralda and the Romanipeople, whom he believes only deserve death.

Andagain, there’s also the fact that Frollo is a Judge, and alongsidehis religion and his authority, believes himself to be inherentlyabove and better than people, and that he cannot do anything wrongbecause he is of that high position, as only a “Good” person canhold that office.

Tohave a wicked, sinful man capable of cruelty and madness would beparadoxical, and would absolutely never happen! (/sarcasm)

Thisis why he can’t see the pain and the suffering he inflicts onothers with his actions—he simply believes himself to be BEYOND andincapable of doingevil.

Withthe question of nature and nurture, I won’t headcanon aboutFrollo’s childhood, since the Nurture has the lion’s share ofblame here.

He’svery old, he’s obviously a very senior member of the church, andhas a lot of respect—he has spent almost all of his life beingtreated as higher and better than his fellow man, he has massivepower other people, and the beliefs of his church (and consequently,himself) is that he is a reliable, infallible authority for what is“Good” and what is “Evil.”

Andas the saying goes, power corrupts.

Mostpeople behave in fear of some higher authority, be they the police,their parents, or that of your superior at work. Unfortunately forall of us, Frollo only really fears two people: the Arch-Deacon, andGod.

Thewords of the “commoners” matter not to him. Maleficent has longknown that these people are beyond reason or are not worth it, sodoesn’t exercise her authority. And even within hiscongregation—more of a cult, at this point, really—dissent isimmediately silenced, murmurs that “Father Frollo” might not beas virtuous and holy as they think he is shushed like a motherreprimanding her child during Sunday mass.

Toend this rather long, lengthy tirade, can he ever break free of thedelusion, and can he truly change his ways?

Realistically,no, and no.

Unlikeactual dogs, you can’t teach Frollo new tricks, especially onesthat contradict his worldview, and he’s already shown time andagain that he won’t accept any objective evidence that he’swrong—every action of his is justified to him, and that subjectivedecision is what makes it “Right.”

Itdoesn’t help that, as I’ve said in other headcanons and mentionedabove, the people of the Isle of the Lost tend to be the ones whohave lost all hope, and are desperately clinging onto whatever it isthey can for comfort.

Ifyou bring him to Auradon, and have him meet up with the (much sanerand reasonable, but not entirely) congregations of Auradon, it’dlikely end in shouting and claims of heresy and going against God.

Havingyour everything pulled out from under you and getting throwninto the great big unknown is terrifying and painful.

Andfor many people, they’d rather be wrong and not realize it, thansuffer that—thus, Cognitive dissonance, and belief in RedemptiveViolence, with both exacerbated by the Catholic Church’s stance on“deviant” sexual behaviour.