#shin kin

[dear-fictionkin]

tw for abuse, i assume? i didnt do some very nice things in source

dear shin tsukimi,

i was going to write this earlier in the day but i only had the time now ahaha, you know how busy i can get. im here to say just a few things. firstly, i was and am madly, madly in love with you. one of the things thst cost me my seat as a participant, that stole me away from you. i adored you, i loved seeing how terrified yet captivated you were of me, it made my heart found like never before. i dont regret you being terrified of me, in fact, i still enjoyed it. im not sorry, and while i never physically harmed you, i did occasionally do the odd experiment(of course erasing your mind of the incident after). i watched you constantly in the cameras when waiting for you to pass through sue and safalin's floors, desperate for you to live so i could see you again. it was a pity kanna died. but i granted you your wish, did i not? you never did grant mine, selfish, sweet shin. i love you, i miss you. maybe one day i can learn to be better and to think like a human(ahaha, isn't that hilarious, coming from a doll).

to all other yttd sourcemates, ahaha i hold no regrets whatsoever to anything that happened in the death game! hate me if you want, i dont believe im capable of feeling sympathy towards it though!! Ahahaha!

with love from,

(the original) sou hiyori, also known as midori

(im a fictive/introject btw, from your turn to die, kimi ga shine)

[postage date: April. 3]

[choosinganamebrokeme-notagain]

now how did this happen ... ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

[linlinsenpai]

Like there are many great female demons in SMT V (mommy Nuwa and new waifu Sakura being my favs) but I ended up sticking with my husbando team.

[shittykinaesthetics]

Shitty Shin Tsukimi aesthetic: yeah yeah you're manipulative as a survival mechanism, i've heard it all before -- but seeing as you have a fucking 0.0% chance of winning this game perhaps it is time to pick a survival mechanism that will help you actually, y'know, survive?

[frenchgremlim1808]

Random ass memes I did while sad

[skajador]

[helldreamz]

doodles

[momentomori24]

Happy birthday to the wet, pathetic love(s) of my life!!! They get to smile at least for today <33

[daily-kinnie-bingos]

day 1

[bubjuice]

Im clearly mentally stable.

[lupikal13]

my kin list

[kthecritter]

Hello, thank you for creating the Savannah Vulture wallpaper for me, it is now my lockscreen wallpaper.

Here is a mood board request:

What the main subject is: Shin Godzilla

What the topic is (so I know what tags to use): Godzilla, I suppose?

What theming/colour palette you want: Black, Dark Purple, White w/ Purple undertones.

How many pictures you want: As many as is easy for you.

Whether you want a standard (regular square pictures) or fancy (different shapes for pictures) moodboard: Fancy :]

Anything you DON’T want in your board: No.

I must admit, he is kind of freaky/gory, so if you are uncomfortable with this ask, I understand.

cw: gore, body horror (?)

here you go, I hope you enjoy! so sorry if some images are low quality 😓

[kyouka-supremacy]

part 1- alternatively Atsushi made Akutagawa do that promise because he wanted to be proved right. Because he didn't believe Akutagawa was capable of such humanity and had his firm imaginary version of Akutagawa (you've made many posts about that already) and would get offended whenever Akutagawa would go off-script, even for stuff like grocery shopping or stuff like being chatty. And Akutagawa was so perceptive and wise recently Atsushi wanted to prove himself that he was actually right

about Akutagawa and be comforted in his worldview. He doesn't have to think critically about Akutagawa or go outside of his black and white worldview if his doubts about Akutagawa being all that bad were gone, so he wanted to be like "I was right all along actually he's the actual worst", cue why he was so bewildered to witness Akutagawa actually keep his promise, be there for him, and sacrifice himself for him, and why he was so utterly numb in the aftermath and couldn't proccess it. Which is why all of us have trouble pinpointing when Atsushi fell in love, it seems weird that he was "firmly not in love" prior to that and only fell after 88, because stuff prior seems to suggest otherwise (be it 84-87 or stuff waaay prior). there was all that build-up in SSKK, all that slowburn that didn't get anywhere. Be it cannibalism, all the banter, or all their meaningful interactions, nothing enough to fall in love at the time but too much to be dismissed so there was a "Crossroad" of sorts ? But also Atsushi was pretty uncomfortable with the sort of mental intimacy he was starting to get with Aku and hard in denial, and wanted to go back to his comfort zone, the "akutagawa is evil and not a person capable of feelings" so he made Akutagawa agree to that promise. And if Aku broke it where he could see Atsushi would be fully justified to go all out against him. I doubt even readers really expected Aku to keep that promise until the end AND YET, Akutagawa prove us wrong, he prove us wrong and he prove Atsushi wrong and he assert his humanity and character so beautifully I was breath-taken, if we go by a SSKK-shipper premise, that's my favorite premise because it's way better that way in my opinion, Atsushi placing his trust in someone dubious is not anything new in this manga (he wholly trust DAZAI of all people), he's someone who likes to be in his comfort zone and doesn't like to think too hard about morality so him digging his heels in and wanting to go "gotcha ! I knew you were the actual worst !" (even after seeing Aku keeps his promise he couldn't trust him vs Fukuchi) and getting his world-view utterly upended and thinking really hard in the aftermath and making a serious attempt to make amends (as seen in round 1 of SSKK vs Fukuchi and  round 2, or between 88 and 107), and adjust his worldview due to Akutagawa more than we see him do in other instances. But we also get the Atsushi trusting Akutagawa despite all odds, in ch107 and after, and believing in his character and his humanity. Even after the big bad Akutagawa has become a soulless vampire helping the end of the world of all things.  And it's a development I like

I think this is a plausible and coherent interpretation of the canon material! I don’t agree with it – and I’m going to elaborate on why in a second -, but I think the elements you brought in support of your take are fully sensate and make a perfectly valid interpretation of canon and of Atsushi’s character.

It’s just, to me, that’s a bit too cruel for Atsushi to do. Atsushi has already been horrible to Akutagawa (that’s why Dazai-san abandoned you and disappeared and so on), but it was also moments of great stress where he kinda snapped. Atsushi does hate Akutagawa – at least for as far as chapter 51 goes, I’d say -, but to be fully intentionally hurtful, to basically plan so that he could humiliate Akutagawa? I don’t think he’d go that far. If anything because Atsushi’s hatred for Akutagawa more frequently than not translates in “I don’t want anything to do with this dude” rather than “I want to actively take part in offending him”.

There’s another point I already fleetingly mentioned in my previous reply, but that I think is relevant: Atsushi would never wish for Akutagawa to not keep his promise for the simple fact that Atsushi does not want people to die. Atsushi is greatly affected by people dying, and has repeatedly shown reacting strongly against the idea¹; Atsushi may be selfish, and he’s not an hero, but he does share that little human decency that makes him sad when people die. Killing people mercilessly, without regret or second thought is exactly what he accuses Akutagawa of doing (“a murderer who just wants to bandy his power around”, chapter 35). I think here we’re tracing a thin line between “Atsushi hates Akutagawa because he kills people” and “Atsushi wants Akutagawa to kill people so that he has a reason to hate him”, but the first affirmation must be the one to be preferred when analizing what went on in Atsushi’s mind when he made Akutagawa promise, because Atsushi's wish for people not to die comes before hating Akutagawa both chronologically (he hates Akutagawa just because he’s wanted people not to die in the first place) and thematically (people not dying has the priority over hating Akutagawa and thus wanting to see him fail).

In the end, I fear that saying Atsushi wants to test Akutagawa specifically in order to confirm the image of ruthless man he has of him may end up being a logical fallacy. In order to prove Akutagawa is bad Atsushi should acknowledge that he holds preconceptions towards Akutagawa, admit that he holds prejudices he wants to prove. But Atsushi is not aware of the prejudices he holds for Akutagawa, he just instinctively and unconsciously assumes he’s bad. But if he’s not aware of such, than he has nothing to make Akutagawa prove, because Akutagawa just is bad. I hope this makes sense. If Atsushi’s words to Akutagawa represented a test, I can’t see it as anything but a genuine test of Atsushi sincerely wondering whether Akutagawa can be up to the challenge of keeping the promise, and hoping that he would- hoping, even if for just one soon to be forgotten second, in the good that’s in Akutagawa.

I don’t know if I’m landing in shipping territory now, it’s hard to tell because sskk’s bond in canon is already enough deep and complex without me having to do anything. But like… I do want to belive Atsushi was slowing shifting in his perception of Akutagawa after what they went through together in the cannibalism arc. I know I’ve made several posts on how the image of Akutagawa Atsushi has in his mind is strikingly different from the real Akutagawa, and how it’s very hard for him to get over the prejudices he holds… But he did change his mind in the end. Atsushi did reach his hand towards Akutagawa after Akutagawa sacrificed himself for him. And it may have all happened in the fight against Fukuchi (that was indeed a moment of primary importance for Akutagawa’s personal redemption to Atsushi’s eyes), but isn’t it also sensate to believe some seeds of growth had been planted beforehand? I think it’s fair to believe it was more gradual than what it may seem at first look: Atsushi’s stubborn insisting that Akutagawa is heartless, then, may actually be his way to suppress his subconscious telling him that maybe Akutagawa doea have an heart after all. And growth doesn’t happen linearly, one can have their own relapses, so I think it’s still coherent (and human) of Atsushi to be disbelieving of Akutagawa keeping his promise even after he himself made him do it.

Now, I LOVE the idea of Atsushi willingly pulling out (taking refuge in, even) the “Akutagawa is an horrible person” argument in response to them having gotten closer, I especially /love/ the idea of Atsushi getting uncomfortable with emotional vulnerability². It’s brilliant. I’m such a fan of characters having sudden relapses as soon as they realize something in the relationship they’re in has changed. I can see Atsushi starting being more hostile, because hostility is familiar, hostility is something he knows, hostility is something he can work with; he doesn’t know what it feels like to care for Akutagawa, he doesn’t want to care, he’s confused and scared, and that’s why he wants to go back to the interactions he’s used to (which is nothing but an illusion, because nothing can ever stay the same, and everything changes). I’d totally read a fic on that.

Btw I’m once again carrying forward: the shipping scenario of Atsushi ending up subconsciously (but never intentionally) wishing for Akutagawa to break his promise so that he doesn’t have to fight him and kill him. Because Atsushi is a selfish person at his core, and honestly he would have people die rather than lose the person he loves. I’d love to read a fic that tackles this aspect.

Thank you again for your elaboration, this sure gave me a lot to think about!!!

¹ I feel like it’s particulay impactful how mad he was at Kyouka in chapter 27, whereas he’s never shown being anything but kind and compassionate with her. Additionally, the “We won’t kill! That’s not what the Detective Agency does.” From Dead Apple (immediately followed by threatening Akutagawa’s life, but like, I guess to Atsushi Akutagawa is just special)

² That’s not something I ever considered before, but I feel like it fits Atsushi’s character a lot. To make a similar comparison, it’s like sskk and physical touch: the most instinctive take is often to label Akutagawa, the serious, grumpy, scarred one as reluctant to touch, and the sunny Atsushi as the touch starved one. But I find the reverse take to be a more nuanced interpretation: Akutagawa grew up in the slums with a family of ragged orphans, in extremely poor an unhigenic circumstances; he was probably used to body proximity, as well as sleeping near other people. Atsushi grew up all alone, and was even often put in isolate cells. He is the one who’s always ever known hurtful touch, whereas it’s easier to believe Akutagawa, while sure knowing it well too, might have rarely experienced what it’s like to feel a touch that isn’t destined to harm. The same could have happened with emotional vulnerability: Akutagawa has a sister, maybe he *is* more willing to it (which, don’t get me wrong, is still super little. It’s just that Atsushi is a lost case and is easily topped). Atsushi grew up completely alone (the orphanage environment wasn’t hostile just on the end of the directors, but on the one of his fellow orphans too) and taught to constantly suppress his own emotions together with his inner self.

[jisuto]

[teiai-official]

Teiai Gift Exchange 2023

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We have decided to organise something akin to a "Secret Santa" to celebrate the end of this beautiful year and bring the entire FKMT community together for a fun event!

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[pleuvoire]

i feel like shin kr hongo will give people the wrong idea about original hongo. original hongo has anxiety but he's not so much a shaking chihuahua type of guy. he's just very nobly sad and has a tendency to worry a lot and when he's worrying he chews on his thumb which is cute and so autism. and he also has a paternal older mentor figure to support him which is a massive benefit to him so he's honestly doing a lot better than shin kr hongo. also he's still in college he's so young. and more of the upstanding young man type than the sad washup shin kr hongo is implied to be. ok i'm rambling. but i love him so dearly you guys should meet him. i need you guys to know that hongo exists in two different flavors and more people should know the first one