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nc-vb · 1 year

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𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

In advance, I apologize to those who have already seen this post. I've had to transfer it to a new blog thanks to a seemingly permanent ban on my former main blog, @niicevibe. So this is just copy & paste from there. Sorry!

Self-indulgent, targeting my brief stint as a backpacker where I literally took plants from everywhere I went back home to my mama, and also where I nearly got electrocuted because I thought doing this with a lightning storm on the horizon was a good idea?? Disclaimer: I never claimed to be, nor will I ever claim to be, smart.

pairing -> tighnari x fem!reader

warnings -> sfw; not beta'ed (i’m a coward); mild description of ptsd symptoms & injuries; mild nudity (nothing mentioned); a couple of suggestive parts? it’s pg-13 really; hurt & comfort.

character mentions -> cyno, collei, the traveler (as lumine), shirin (forest ranger doc)

word count -> 3.9k

You have a stupid look on your face. He knows it, without even having to turn around in his seat to confirm it. He even knew it had been you without turning, not that you made a proper sound upon entering his forest home, but the way you had shuffled in without a word, your steps hesitant but wanting, before the wood frame for his bed had creaked just loud enough to stir him out of his concentration. Now, minutes have already passed with your silence, the occasional shuffling of material against material being the only sound you make.

“________, welcome back,” he finally calls. You hum, but it sounds muffled from his end of the room. “… you’re staring again, aren’t you?”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” You chuckle at this.

“No one likes a know-it-all, Tighnari.”

“You do.”

“Heh, that’s true.”

There’s a small break of silence between the two of you, besides the resumed scratching of his quill against the parchment and the distant chatter of the forest rangers. It is a patient silence, one the two of you often revel in whenever there isn’t any field work to be done, a rarity considering your professions.

Tighnari, the chief officer of the Forest Rangers, a Forest Watcher, and you, a young, nomadic adventurer with a love for all things nature— your paths crossing had been coincidental, with him on a routine patrols through the Avidya Forest and you completing a strange commission from the Guild for a Akademiya student looking to create a stronger, more robust fertilizer for improving vegetation that had you hunting down Hydro Slimes. You’d been so enthralled with the idea of being able to grow and harvest crops at a more opportunistic rate that you took the commission on in a heartbeat, beating even the Traveler to it through your enthusiasm alone, that you’d forgotten to watch your surroundings.

At the time of when he came across you, you laughing as you crawled out of your unconsciousness after being targeted by a small group of floating fungi, he could hardly blame you for being taken by surprise after a hearty explanation for your presence.

“Wouldn’t it be amazing if this worked? It could be brought to other lands where plant growth is near impossible! Like, Watatsumi Island!” You’d laughed again, the excitement in your eyes near uncontainable.

But your injuries were no laughing matter. You’d been victimized by the elements of Hydro, Dendro, and Pyro, your clothing and hair scorched and your arms and calves blistered from burgeon. It took a long time for your injuries to heal that had you unable to leave Gandharva Ville, but in that time, you had found a friend in its chief. Your first few weeks in Sumeru prior to the incident had been most eventful, and Tighnari was ever pleased to learn that you didn’t arrive here ignorant to nature.

“The problem is with these adventurers is that they think wherever they go, they can act first and think later, but who does that help? Especially when the one’s who’ve received Visions think they’re suddenly the greatest because their flames can take care of enemies fast, or their lightning can increase the jumping power of a mushroom— nature is not something to be parasitized. It’s embarrassing that they think so little of it.”

He couldn’t have agreed more.

You’d never actually been to Inazuma thanks to the Sakoku Decree their Raiden Shogun enacted, so you’d only heard about Watatsumi’s situation, and in wanting desperately to see the unknown plant life that you’d yet to see unlike those from the rest of the seven nations, as well as desiring to one day be able to be a liaison for this soil-experimenting Sumerian, you jumped ship from your volunteer position with the Forest Rangers to jump on a ship for Ritou. If not for you having a Vision of your own, Tighnari would have highly debated chasing after you once he’d learned why you left.

Inazuma was not unlike the stories you’d heard from the more seasoned adventurers you’d spoken to. How even the earth was charged with Electro elemental energy thanks to the various ley lines hidden beneath it; how the Sacred Sakura tree of the Grand Narukami Shrine had grown out its roots throughout the region and spread its seeds in the form of sakura blooms— but the only things you were really concerned over were collecting enough of a soil sample to bring back to that Amurta student, and most importantly, collect a sea ganoderma that “grew” on Inazuman shores.

Are they alive? Or are they a type of fungus? How long does it take for one to “spawn”? Considering the numbers in which they appeared, you had these and many other questions to ask. And naturally, you needed samples to bring back with you, not just for your curiosity’s sake, but as a gift for Tighnari, as thanks for all that he’d done for you. Supposedly, he’s never seen one in person before. You only wish he could have gone with you. Despite his own duties, he found himself wishing he could accompany you, too.

Tighnari didn’t expect you to be back so soon, however. Knowing what the distance was between Liyue Harbour, the main port of which you would have to embark on your journey from, and Ritou, the main port on Inazuman soil you would arrive at, and what items had been on your itinerary, he expected you back in Gandharva Ville in no sooner than nine days, two of those days being used for sea travel. It’s only been four, something that only clicks in when you’d just sighed.

“______,” Tighnari calls, his tone almost too flat to be considered pleasant; you flinch. “Come over here, please.”

“… but your bed is so comfy,” you mumble tiredly, despite being wide awake.

“I don’t want to have to stop doing what I’m working on if it’s nothing, so come here— please.”

Game over, you think miserably.

In the five months since you began staying with the Forest Rangers, you learned full well the extents of which Tighnari’s wrath could take. Now, since you’ve already been back during this small time without saying a word, or even joining him at his desk to properly greet him (even though he could’ve just turned around for a second, you think), his initial suspicion has slowly elevated into the situation before you. And as you rise off of his bed and trudge toward him, you instinctively begin preparing yourself for an earful.

Heaving a sigh, you turn at the last second to lean against the edge of his desk to the right of him. Tighnari gives himself a moment, sparing a breath down at his half-written letter to finally look at you. His lips part almost instantaneously, his forest-like eyes widening in response to your bodily visage.

“I-It’s… not as bad as you think,” you’re quick to try and explain, but he’s already on his feet, chair pushed back to make room for his close quarters pacing. “Tighnari, calm down…”

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” he says sharply, but there isn’t any bite to his words— you can tell this much by the way his tail anxiously sways back and forth behind him.

“… sorry,” you mumble. You clear your throat lightly when he decides to lift your arms up by your wrists, three fingers from each of his hands dragging them upward and between you. But this hurts. The way you wince proves it. Carefully, Tighnari lowers your bandaged arms back down to yours side, but not before casting your shoulder a look of disdain. “Tighnari?”

He looks away from you instead to rummage through one of the drawers of the cabinet next to you. “Go and sit on the bed,” he instructs you. “Take your shirt off.”

You instantly flush with heat. “H-Huh? Why?”

Scoffing lightly, “I’m redoing your bandages.”

“O-Oh… but they’re brand new. Don’t waste your supplies on this…”

“They’re not good enough,” he murmurs. Briefly turning to you, he slips a couple of fingers beneath the top layer of bandaging. “See? This should be tight but breathable. You might die from an oxygen overdose with this wrapping job.”

You can’t help the snort that escapes you, in time for him to begin corralling you back to his mattress.

“It’s a shame how you and the General Mahamatra bicker so much when your jokes and comebacks can be just as lame,” you say, allowing him to lower you back down. He shoots you a look. “But on the topic of the bandages… I guess I’ll have to inform Shirin of her most unsatisfactory work,” you mumble to the side, though your one eye remains on him. Three words catch in his throat, an offended, “I didn’t mean—” slipping out before he cuts himself off with a small huff. You can’t help the even smaller giggle that escapes you.

“I know you didn’t mean that. I was lying, anyway. I did this myself with my own two hands—” when you raise them for emphasis, you end grimacing at the harsh, crackling electrical burns ending at the base of your palms. “Ah, well, maybe that was a bad idea in itself.”

“Wait, is that—?” Tighnari’s eyes move past you and toward his nightstand, where sitting in a carefully sealed glass case sat the blue sea plant. “A sea ganoderma?”

“Yessir,” you say, tone proud. “I almost died getting this one, but it was one of the purest grown! Right next to a lightning sakura tree, sharing the same oxygen and minerals and nutrients and still growing under such a condition? Inazuma is amazing, Tighnari— oh, you’d love it.”

“A lightning sakura tree?” he repeats, his ears dropping into a furl. “When you say you “almost died”, do you mean these injuries are from—”

“Yes, but I’m alive, and that’s what matters here.”

“______. You know how I feel about you downplaying your injuries. You were electrocuted. Are you alright?”

“I…” At the softened look on his face, you pause. You hate worrying him just as much as he hates when you hide getting hurt, but his expression is so sincerely concerned that lying to him about the extent of your injury seems almost blasphemous. “I-I’m not… okay. That’s why… I came back early.”

Another brief moment of quiet allows for Tighnari to collect himself, saving you from that earful you feared.

“… I’m at least glad… you had the common sense to do that,” he says, joining you at the edge of the bed. “Quite unlike the first time I met you that you’d gone and done things on your own with that commission of yours.”

At this, you laugh, though the pressure on your back makes your skin ache.

“You’re friends with the Traveler, aren’t you?” He nods. “Didn’t she ever tell you that I stole that commission from her?”

Tighnari shakes his head at you while helping you to unzip your shirt from the back. “No, but certainly sounds like something you’d do.”

”Hehe.”

He lays your shirt in a neat fold near the foot of his bed, draping it over the edge, only to turn back to you and sigh.

“What a mess.”

“… is it really that bad of a job?” He sends you a knowing look over your shoulder. “In my defence, I was doing this on a moving ship, with no mirror.”

“I don’t know if it could’ve been done worse.” He pulls off his gloves, finger by finger. ”Hold still now; I’m going to unravel it and I don’t want to hurt you.”

Skin flushing once more, you nod. “… o… okay.” He fully disappears behind you, shifting on the bed to get comfortable, and in the corner of your eye, you spot the tip of his tail swish into view rather rapidly. “You… don’t have to be nervous,” you murmur, unable to raise your voice much higher considering your position. “I-It’s just me.”

Tighnari hums, though in a higher octave than normal. He touches your one shoulder with the tips of his fingers, silently alerting you when he begins undoing the poorly tied knot at the back of your arm. How did you even manage this? he wonders, brows knitted. Unable to pry it apart, he ends up snipping it off with a small pair of shears.

Naturally, this isn’t the first time he’s had to take care of you. Before, and in the more serious cases, he had Shirin’s help, being the doctor of the Forest Rangers. Burns and burgeons, accidentally drowning in trying to fetch a patch of nilotpata lotuses, falling down hills and receiving scrape over scrape scars, that time you were ran over by a sumpter beast?— you were covered in old injuries, your curiosities always getting the better of you. Despite his grand disappointment in you each time you’d returned battered and beaten, hands full of your bounty, but grinning as if you’d won some great prize, he’d take care of you, a willing aide to your obvious self-sabotage.

But this time, somehow, it’s become more intimate than it is professional.

Maybe it’s the fact you were in his room, sitting on his bed, just the two of you rather than Shirin or Collei assisting and watching in the infirmary. He’d always been conscious of the fact that he found your level of curiosity and love for nature fascinating— idiotic, too, no doubt about it; he could no longer count on his four limbs how many times he’s had to try and talk you out of your latest, most hair-brained ideas. But even as you returned to him, to see him — “I was just passing through to Mawtiyima, but I wanted to visit you first!” — the lecturing became less aggressive, his choice words for you having less of a sting to them as they left his mouth.

He didn’t have to call you a dummy anymore — “I am well aware of my shortcomings, but where’s the fun in being careful? I promise, Tighnari; I’m not purposely injuring myself…” This much was already painfully proven, pardoning the irony. At least, he stopped using the word as an insult. It became affectionately said, Tighnari finding himself further and further down into the hole you dug where you always seemed content to wait for him.

“You know, there’s probably a reason she’s so patient for you,” Cyno once pointed out, post-visit to Collei. “You, and your lack of sense of humour.”

She did call my jokes “lame”, didn’t she, Tighnari recalls glumly, ears flattening, but as if having made a one-hundred-and-eighty degree turn less than five seconds later, they perk up. If he’s right, than what is that reason?

“It’s just me”, you’d said. Well, that appears to be the problem at hand, now, doesn’t it?

You find yourself grateful for the warm air swarming the Avidya Forest. With your upper half bare to the emptiness of Tighnari’s treetop hut, you surely would have caught another chill like you did back in Inazuma. Although, perhaps not, considering this time, you had company.

You don’t inherently mean to do it, but shrinking forward and into yourself had seemed like the appropriate thing to do while Tighnari finished undoing your poor bandage work. Your hands, which still tingled from the effects of your electrocution, found their way to holding onto your knees, steadying your racing mind from focusing too hard on how soft his fingertips felt against your scalding flesh.

Oh, you truly could ignite on the spot, if only your Vision would permit it.

You had only held onto two regrets from committing yourself to a life of journey and adventure. The first, was you leaving your loved ones behind (without a word, mind you; you knew full well they would try to stop you at every turn), and the second appeared after becoming acquainted with the Forest Watcher sat before you, knowing you could never stay in one spot and love him as hard as your heart desired. He grew on you as fast as an oyster mushroom, his stubbornness and straightforward demeanour something you looked forward to seeing only every time you could.

Tighnari doesn’t even realize he’s paused, hands hovering between him and your bare back, his eyes glued to the fractal scarring spanning from the top of your spine downward, smaller tendrils curling around your arms. They’ll fade, he knows this — his have already started to, according to Cyno and Shirin — but seeing them on you? He’s seen your hurt in one too many ways. But this…

“Tighnari,” you whisper, turning your chin over your shoulder to see him, lips parting in response to his obvious distress. You’ve never seen him so… so appalled; so stiff, as if he’d been rooted to the very earth beneath him. “T-Tighnari, I—” you reach toward the end of the bed to grab your shirt, ignoring the pain searing along your shoulders and pressing it against your chest before turning fully to him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t careful. I-I was cocky; I thought I could dodge it, but that plant, it… it was so stuck, I—”

“Just… stop,” he whispers, stilling, his breathing slightly laboured, “for a moment.”

You suck in a breath of your own, an attempt to get yourself to remain silent. The expression on his face, you realize after taking a moment to study it, is near unreadable. But why does he look like he’s seen a ghost? you adamantly wonder. It takes you so long to realize that not a look of horror or shock… but one of recollection. One of remembrance. One of fear. Eyes trained on one of the violet crackles adorning your arm, his ears suddenly twitch, almost as if something takes him by surprise or shocks hi—

Wait… shocks?

It’d dawned on you, painfully slow. If it wouldn’t have hurt the rest of you, you would’ve given yourself a smack to the forehead.

Things couldn’t have made more sense now, his silence uncharacteristic and, if you were to be honest, a little disconcerting. You loved hearing him speak, even if was for the reason. You’d never seen him so quiet over one of your injuries before, but this is the first time you’d gotten yourself so obviously hurt by the Electro element. The marks crawling across your upper body were dark and prominent and fresh— Tighnari hadn’t seen his as up close, only through the reflection of two mirrors, their image distorted by the angles. It’s different, seeing them how the doctors at Pardis Dhyai must have after the incident; how Cyno must have when he came to check on him.

It’s different seeing them, because now, they’re on you, too.

“… is that… why you were away for so long before?” you dare to ask, voice barely above a whisper. “You were hurt?” He doesn’t answer, but his eyes have a tell.

You don’t apologize again— you know there’s no point; he already knows how strongly you empathize with him. Pressing your shirt more firmly against you, you lift yourself a few inches closer to him, and raise your spare hand to rest against his cheek. He blinks, easily more times than necessary, but it brings him back into having enough focus to look up at you.

Your gaze wanders across his face, searching; waiting. Always waiting, for him. Your bottom lip is pinched so tightly between your teeth that a split has appeared near the center of it, and somehow, it triggers a reaction in the young Forest Watcher, his own hands rising from his lap to hold you, to run a thumb from one of his smooth hands across your lip.

“… please don’t hurt yourself more,” he pleads, his voice hoarse. “Not for my sake.”

You instinctively run your tongue over where you'd sensed the sting, Tighnari barely moving his finger out of the way in time to avoid it— his cheeks tint rouge at the thought.

Your own cheeks grow warm when you tilt forward to touch your forehead to his. His eyelashes flutter until his eyes shut, the comforting touches you supply slowly bringing him out of his panicked state, and subconsciously, his tail swishes toward you, quick to curl around your calf.

“For your sake, I’d do anything, Tighnari.”

“I… I think you should apply to the Akademiya,” he says, lightly pulling at the bandage to stretch it before wrapping it twice around your bicep.

Enough time had passed that you both finally agreed that having you sit half nude on his bed wasn’t exactly ideal (though, for as hard as he tried not to once conscious of his staring, it wasn’t exactly easy to watch you turn back around). And so, with the salve still fresh and pasted across your skin, Tighnari got to work, adept fingers moving quickly to wrap your torso up so you could face him again.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, with all of these commissions you do, not only the ones for Sumeru, but all over Teyvat, that have much to do with ecological betterment experiments, you’ve gained that experience and first-hand field knowledge— coming from an Akademiya alumnus, I think you’d be the ideal Amurta applicant.”

“Tighnari, please,” you say, your lips curled upward toward your warmed cheeks. “I know it’s probably not your intention, but you’re fluffing my ego too hard…”

He chuckles at your clear enjoyment of his words. “My master is the current sage… If you are ever interested, it would be easy to ask him to put in a word of recommendation for you. I could even write a letter, myself.”

A laugh escapes you from being slightly overwhelmed by his suggestion.

“You know, I-I never thought about it before. Surely I’d have more opportunities to work in nature and learn about medicinal plant cultivation, which I’ve always loved…” Tighnari snips the bandage from the roll and sets the tools back down to tie off the strip. “… have I held myself back, under the belief that because I became an adventurer, I’d just stay an adventurer, forever? Taking commissions, making mora— that’s not at all what I wanted from this…”

“You’ve been an adventurer for a while now,” Tighnari reminds you. “And while you’ve had time to think about it, that doesn’t mean you’ve come to any conclusions. But that’s fine, too, of course. Do you know yet, what it is that you want for yourself?”

Your eyes meet. “I want to do so many things, Tighnari,” you say, smiling. “What you do here in the Avidya Forest, for example. What that fertilizer experimenter commissioned me for, for the purpose of bettering the lives of everyone and not just himself? Discovering new plants and fungi and finding out their uses? Helping people? This forest? Oh, I want all of that for me desperately.”

Beneath the glow of the lanterns lit around his room, you fondly note the sudden rosiness to the soft apples of his cheeks.

“Then starting here… wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?”

“Starting here… with you… you mean?” He nods, his tall ears bobbing with him. You find your grin widening, and before he can stop you (not that he would), you place your hands on his cheeks and draw him close so as to press kisses from his cheekbones and down to his lips, lingering there just a little longer. You pull back in time to witness a fog-like daze pass over his reddened face. Giggling, “It would be the best thing.”

#tighnari x reader #tighnari x yn #tighnari x y/n #tighnari x you #tighnari #genshin impact tighnari #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fluff #tighnari fluff

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rinshiroufan · 11 months

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An Analysis of Two Different (Yet Complementary) Endings: UBW in the VN and the Anime; and What They Mean

So I recently finished my re-watch of Ufotable’s unjustly maligned 2014-15 adaptation of Fate/stay night’s Unlimited Blade Works route; I thoroughly enjoyed myself, which wasn’t shocking at all—Rin/Shirou is only my favourite fictional relationship (not just romantic, but any kind of relationship). It did however induce to more thoroughly and exhaustively compare the anime original conclusion to the two’s story with the original ending as presented in the VN, if only because I suspect that a careful reading of the nuances of the characterization of both will yield some very fruitful results. It might seem a bit paradoxical at first, but I’ve come to find these two scenes while seen incredibly fondly by most Shirin shippers are in fact quite underappreciated—because there’s just so brilliant and intricate in the subtle ways in which they manage to weave in so much depth and substance into exceedingly simple and seemingly plain plot developments. They are insanely thematically rich, and people often are left far too dazzled and enchanted by the magic of the superficial writing that they miss the genius hidden beneath the surface.

We’ll start off with the comparatively simpler part of the analysis: the original conclusion to Rin and Shirou’s story.

The Ending in the VN

For the purposes of this analysis, I will be skipping all of the epilogue sans the final classroom scene; the reasoning is quite straightforward and should be readily obvious—most of what is of relevance to this analysis is basically confined solely to Rin and Shirou’s final conversation. This disclaimer might appear to be superfluous to some, but I decided to include solely due to my recognizing an asymmetry in the structure that I chose to employ herein—because the section posterior to this one will have to deal with comprehensively picking apart the entirety of episode 25 of the anime. There was a distinct possibility some readers might find the decision somewhat puzzling, so I think it would be no great harm to tell people what precisely they are getting into, though I consider the content itself will be perfectly sufficient in providing people with an understanding of the thought process behind it. So without further ado, let’s finally begin.

The crux of the conversation between Rin and Shirou that caps off UBW is her invitation to him to tag along with her to London as she goes to continue her training in becoming a proper magus—and Shirou’s reaction to her doing so. I will now post all of Shirou’s key internal monologues relating to the matter during his initial contemplation of the matter, omitting all of Rin’s elaborative comment interspersed throughout Shirou’s thoughts for comedic effect, in order to allow us to better understand what precisely the story is trying to communicate here.

She speaks casually, but I'm sure it's an amazing thing. …But London, huh? …That's certainly too far away. My father wasn't in the Magic Association. I'm just like him, and I don't like formal stuff.

[...]

…But I might be able to move there. I can start working more, study English, save up traveling and living expenses, and find a job over there…

[...]

No, no, let's say I am able to rent an apartment there. I don't know what kind of a place the Clock Tower is, but I'm sure Tohsaka will get even busier. …Then it should be better for me to go there after I become a proper magus by myself. Yeah, that sounds good. First of all, London isn't suited for me. I bet I'll faint if I go there and if it's filled with people like Kotomine———

It is at this point that Rin finally notices Shirou has wandered off in his thoughts and thus not paying attention to her—subsequently presenting what amounts to an ultimatum to him. But before we go into that, let us more carefully and studiously parse what we have been presented with here: a dialectic. A dialectic meant to represent Shirou’s inner conflict—an exceedingly minor and trifling conflict, no doubt!—between his ideological aversion and distaste for formal magecraft and the sorts of individuals drawn to it, and his curious desire to nonetheless follow Rin wherever she goes. For literary effect, the text chooses not to immediately explicitly reveal what might be behind this willingness to nonetheless move to London despite his misgiving, but anyone who has been paying even the tiniest bit of attention can easily deduce what might be the cause. Nevertheless, the story firmly establishes a key piece of information going forward—Shirou is not fond of the Mage’s Association. He would certainly not choose to associate himself with them of his own volition.

But now that we have the set-up, we are almost immediately greeted with the pay-off—the previously posted CG of Rin’s brilliant visage in an adorable hunched over position and adorned with a radiant, loving smile, accompanied by the following text:

"So, what will you do, Shirou?" She asks me gently, with eyes that see through me. "——————" My face turns red. Her words and expression blow away my humility and my dislike of the Magic Association. …This is what I mean by Tohsaka holding my weakness. I can't help it if I fell in love with her.

“Oh, why go silent now? I haven’t heard your answer yet.“

She keeps smiling mischievously. She knows what my answer is, but she's mercilessly attacking me. "Uh… I, um…" To be honest, London is too far away, but I can't imagine myself being taught by anyone other than Tohsaka. And I never even thought about parting with her. Most of all, I want to be with Tohsaka. "Be clear, this is important. Will you still come with me, even if it's as my assistant?" She looks up into my eyes. She looks so attractive that I feel like my heart will pop out of my mouth. "S-Shut up, you idiot…! You idiot, idiot, idiot! I-I-If it's so important, tell me about it in a more appropriate place! I can't answer you when it's so sudden…!!!"

I don’t know what’ll happen to me if I keep staring at her, so I look away. ...I still feel Tohsaka’s presence.

She’s happily watching my reaction.

"Hey, Shirou. What's your answer?" She murmurs gently. ………She's got me beat. Is it this hard to nod and reply honestly? "………" But I can't turn around unless I say it to her.

"……You idiot. Don't ask me such an obvious question." I meet Tohsaka's gaze and tell her my honest opinion. Her smile broadens at those words.

“And I never even thought about parting with her. Most of all, I want to be with Tohsaka.” That’s the key portion here. The internal tug of war between Shirou’s deep-seated hatred for the common amoral magi and the stifling environment of Clock Tower on the one hand, and his unbridled love for and admiration of Rin is decisively and unquestionably resolved in Rin’s favour. It was barely even a contest. Returning to previously discussed dialectic, it is noteworthy how Shirou considers moving to London at a later time than Rin so that he wouldn’t represent a burden for a Rin less likely to be able to spend precious time with him. Hell—the guy already starts making plans about how he’s going to move there without her even inviting him or expressing that she wants him to go with her! He’s so lovestruck that the mere mention of her moving to London has his immediately making preparations so that he can be with her. It’s odd to think that Shirou could possibly find some way to work more than he already does, but that’s not stopping him. Shirou’s internal back and forth weighing his options, contrasting his reservations towards moving to London with his obvious preparedness to go there for Rin’s sake, is presented as barely even really being a proper conflict; the outcome was determined from the very start. There was simply no other way this could have been resolved—Shirou wants to be with his Tohsaka.

But why is this the conclusion to UBW? Why precisely was it so important to finish the route like this, with this particular scenario, with this particular character dynamic? It might seem like this is just the logical conclusion to how the story should be: it’s hardly in-character for Rin, someone who is portrayed as someone who loves magecraft and finds it fun, to not eventually go to Clock Tower, given that one of the themes of the route is her and Shirou’s learning to walk their chosen path out of their own love for it and on their own terms; it also helps reaffirm Shirou’s love for her. But how exactly does this help cap off Shirou’s character arc? How does this serve as a fitting conclusion to his character arc taken in its entirety, including his conflict with Archer? The essential element here is Shirou’s invocation of Kiritsugu, prefacing the rest of his comments elaborating on his opposition to the Association; Shirou’s refusal to move to London is symbolically associated with his ideal. The core question of UBW of course is “Will or will not Shirou become just like Archer?” He is after all walking on the same path, headed to the same direction. What makes him so different? This scene is meant to answer that: his love for Rin. The entire scenario is a microcosm of Rin and Shirou’s relationship, showing why he won’t become Archer: he loves Rin more than he wants to pursue his ideal. Of course Shirou wants to become a superhero—but he wants to be with Rin even more. Shirou will always treasure the precious time he spends with Rin far more than he does his adventuring. Whatever corner of the world he may be in, whatever conflict is afoot, no matter how faraway he may be—he will always find his way back home, the place where he truly belongs: with Rin. The girl who loves him, and whom he loves back.

And I really cannot think of a more fitting poem to end that scene than...

The Ending in the Anime

In episode 25 of the 2014 UBW TV anime adaptation by Ufotable, we finally get to see Rin and Shirou’s life together in London.

It makes for incredible fanservice, to say the least.

He’s giving her a headpat—SHE’S SLEEPING ON HIS SHOULDER!!! Thanks for humouring my pic dump; now, onto the analysis.

Within the confines of the anime, the classroom conversation between Rin and Shirou is quite heavily abridged, positioned very deliberately so that it may be carefully instrumentalized for the specific narrative purposes of the broader narrative of the London epilogue it is situated in. It is in short repurposed. We will have to return to the specifics of that later. For now, let’s begin analyzing how the narrative unfolds.

The epilogue has a three act structure, divided over three in-universe days. The first day acts as the set-up; the second day as the elaboration; and the final day provides us with the conclusion. Now, the first day is mostly fanservice, and this is not without reason: while it lays the foundation for Shirou’s inner conflict that we see unfold over the next two days, it is a mostly laidback story that simply invites us to enjoy Rin and Shirou’s nearly idyllic life in London. It’s a way to frontload almost all of the pure, unadulterated fanservice so as to allow for more narratively relevant elements to be positioned at the very end, which is precision-focused to delivering a fitting conclusion to Emiya Shirou’s arc—which isn’t to say that the latter portions of the story lack fanservice, or that the frontloaded fanservice has no purpose whatsoever; rather, the later fanservice simply has more thematic depth to it. The early fanservice meanwhile serves mostly to establish what Rin and Shirou’s life in London is like; it’s purpose is to establish what is at stake. Many have lamented that Ufotable cut a lot of the elements which were included in Nasu’s original script (most likely rejected due to the Ufotable animation staff’s qualms with having to do another exhausting 45 min episode), but ultimately it was for the better in my estimation; it resulted in far more focus. Instead of wasting time on the total mediocrity of a character that is Luvia, the existing story utilizes her wisely for a specific purpose—to establish just how much Rin has changed over the narrative. I mean, the girl went from freaking out at the suggestion she might be fond of a certain redhead to being so openly enamoured with him that’s she willing to throw down with other girls for flirting with him! The idealized portrayal of Shirou’s new idealized life with the girl he loves is interspersed with discussion of his receiving an invitation to join the Association—and the implications of that. The day ends with Shirou’s mentioning that his heart lies elsewhere; in his pursuit of the ideal.

The next day is fairly laidback as well, but also a bit more... contemplative. Rin and Shirou’s ruminations on the Holy Grail War and what they learned from it during their visit to Glastonbury aren’t exactly directly connected to the central conflict of the narrative, but they nevertheless help portray just how much more mature these characters have gotten, how much they have changed since the events of HGW. It’s important to have Rin portrayed in a much more serious light; after all, the beginning of the episode had her used as comedic relief. Yes, it’s a perfectly fine way to establish just how much Rin truly loves Shirou, but the conclusion to the episode ultimately relies on her being both loving and mature; she’s always been the more intelligent, level-headed and wise of the two, so it stands to reason that it would be quite prudent remind the audience of that as it becomes important once again. Once more, we are treated to a dialectic; the hopelessly in love Rin of the first day meets her antithesis in the wise, contemplative Rin of the second day, ultimately resulting in the synthesis we encounter in the final resolution to the narrative. Having Rin portrayed as being both more mature yet also more fun than Shirou also reinforces just how much more at ease she is at Clock Tower than he is.

On the ride back home, Shirou has a flashback. And we suddenly find ourselves back in Fuyuki, two years prior.

Cute.

Anyway, we return to our repurposed classroom scene.

What exactly is the goal of this scene? Shirou’s monologues, so crucial to the scene in the VN, are wholly excised. We can see Shirou’s blushing like crazy (I can’t blame him...), but we are otherwise left clueless as to his considerations whether or not to follow Rin to London. The thematic relevance of the scene in the VN is gone; no-one, going based solely on the anime, could possibly have realized that this particular scene was meant to be a microcosm of their relationship, showing my Shirou will not become Archer. If anything, it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say that the scene is just there to fill in the gaps about what happened in the immediate aftermath of the events of Fifth HGW and act as more Rin/Shirou fanservice. It’s the final episode, so why not just give your audience diabetes ten times over? Just look at it!

God, I’m really sorry if this many images bothers anyone—but I just can’t help it, it’s too cute and amazing.

But yeah... good fanservice. Doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything thematically relevant or important to the characterization our heroes receive, right?

Well...

This... is what the episode is all about.

Shirou doesn’t want to betray Rin.

“Thanks for bringing me with you.“ Shirou is profoundly grateful to Rin for giving him this wonderful opportunity to be with her and spend time with her. He is so very happy to be able to cherish his time with the girl that he loves... but he can’t stay at Clock Tower. Rin is the only reason that he is happy there. He feels uncomfortable with the subject of his future there, too afraid to openly and honestly express his feelings to Rin, because he doesn’t want to break her heart. For all that Shirou has matured, he is still just a young man trying to find his place in the world, confused and scared; scared that he might have to abandon the girl he loves so dearly—scared of what she might say. He doesn’t want to spit all over her effort and hard work, all that she has ever done for him; fundamentally, Shirou’s conflict in this episode is about Rin. It’s about his struggling with the difficulties of maintaining the relationship that he has built with her, and his fears that it might not last. His fears that Rin wouldn’t understand what he’s going through, and reject him for it. And that in doing so... his fate will as Archer will be sealed.

But that’s not what happens. When he is finally forced to explain himself to her, he is surprised to hear that she isn’t mad at all. No, she’s wholly supportive of him! Encouraging, even! In fact... she’s the one reassuring him. Earlier in the narrative, Rin was Shirou’s foil as the down to the earth realist to his wide-eyed, idealism. Rin was the one with the self-esteem issues; Shirou was the one who kept charging at the impossible without a doubt in his mind about his chances of success. The confession was all about Shirou’s providing Rin with the necessary support to get back up due to his holding her in a higher regard than she did herself; to Shirou, she was always the amazing, incredible girl who never quits despite all the things weighing on her back. And now, in a beautiful symmetry... it’s her, the girl who didn’t think she had it in her to strive for the impossible, giving encouragement to him, the boy who never did quit, who now has doubts about his future... to never quit. Because she believes in him, just like he believed in her.

People tend to grievously misunderstand what Rin says in this episode—it’s responsible for like 90% of the stupid takes on this episode and the future of the Rin/Shirou pair. She never claims that she will always follow Shirou around; she quite openly states that she eventually wishes to settle down at Clock Tower, because pursuing magecraft is fun, it’s her dream, and it makes her happy. She just doesn’t think that is necessarily incompatible with her being with Shirou. Just like Shirou had made a temporary sacrifice coming to London to spend time with her, so too will Rin now make a slight detour from her path to accomplishing her dream to support the most precious person in her life. It’s why I find it somewhat regrettable that Shirou’s monologues were removed from the classroom scene; it would have been nice to have it be readily apparent within the show itself without recourse to the VN that there’s a symmetry between Shirou’s going to London with Rin and Rin’s going on adventures with Shirou. I understand the omission, given the excellent execution, but it was nonetheless an imperfection solution; perhaps the only one there was. But I can still lament, can’t I?

Rin and Shirou’s relationship is going to face a lot of issues. It’s not going to be easy. A clash of wants is inevitable. But Rin is willing to make it work. She is going to make it work. For both of their sakes. The beauty of Rin and Shirou’s relationship is in its striving towards an ideal; it can never be perfect, but it still comes close to being so. Its imperfections make it more than perfect. Theirs is a relationship just like any other—filled with ups and downs. The proof of their love is not in the absence of problems, but in their having the patience, understanding and mutual respect to overcome them, together. Many people when praising the Shirin pair like to adduce its being the most “realistic” of the three VN relationships in its favour. I think such people are doing it a massive disservice by doing so. Shirin is wonderful because it’s a highly idealized version of a normal relationship. Just look at the episode! Their love story is a like a fairy tale! The entire story is about Rin and Shirou, partners in crime; just the two of them against the whole world. Falling love in the midst of a conflict filled with strange mystic mages and legendary heroes from the past. And yet... it feels so down to earth. It feels like something that could occur in your own neighbourhood. What makes me love it so much is this careful but amazing balance between reality and fantasy; it’s just the story of a boy and a girl falling in love... but it feels like a grand epic. Both of them are strange and downright weird people... yet they are also just two regular teenagers, doing regular teenage things. Two regular people, stuck in extraordinary circumstances where they don’t belong... and making the best of it. Together. And nothing exemplifies that more for me that this one final scene at the end of episode 25, perfectly encapsulating why they are so great.

Many people lament the absence of more physical affection between Rin and Shirou, in both the VN and the anime. I sympathize with such people; I myself wish we had gotten many more hugs, kisses and cuddling than we did. And yet... I feel as though in decrying what is not there, they fail to appreciate what was there. Because frankly, few things have made me as emotional as this one handshake.

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