#shit sucks man. it rly does

[leecherish]

whatever, can everyone go and be all niceys to me please

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I think we need more stories about how even if you are genuinally a bad person or did something truly atrocious that does not justify the suffering of the mordern Prison Industrial Complex and how prison more than punishment should be about making sure if not all at least most people can go back to society and never do crimes again.

I mean it. Most stories about how bad prison is either follows a thief that did it out of necessity or an innocent man wrongfully arrested and we should think of those people ofc. But we should also think about how prison is not supposed to be karma is supposed to help society (plus we need more assistencial programs to suport victims of violence as well asap).

[cannibalise]

i am slowly maybe winning the war against male pattern baldness thanks again to my dad for procreating despite the fact that he started balding at age 16 i really appreciated that one (im HALF joking) bt only coz ive been off T for like a year and a half which Sucks coz i wanted a deeper voice i just sound sort of gay rn which like. yeah. fine. better than before bt whatever. anyway like at what point do i just give up go back on T and buy a wig thinking abt it all the time makes me wanna fucking kill myself man

[nozomijoestar]

The entire T8 story is on YT and I hyperventilated so hard you'd think it's not 30 something F right now but 55

[toastsnaffler]

my roommates parents are nuts for telling her she should get a mortgage and if she still wants me as a roommate i can pay rent to her.... we are NOT going to do that. r u kidding me 😵

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

🧠🪱 Wiggly Wednesday 🪱🧠

Today, I'm thinking of ...

... the older teens going out for karaoke. (I don’t even know if there’d realistically be a karaoke bar anywhere near them in 80s rural Indiana, but let’s just assume.) It’s a fun night and everyone is having a blast. Steve and Robin render a hilarious, very off-key but very passionate duet of Total Eclipse of the Heart, even Nancy tries her hand on some Cindy Lauper after a beer or five. Only Eddie keeps leafing through the available songs on display with a scowl on his face, muttering something about mainstream shit. It’s only once that bar is almost empty when he finally concedes - not without a lot of coaxing from Robin and Argyle bribing him with some of his best product. 

He chooses Don’t stop me now by Queen. 

He’s barely three lines in when Steve, sipping his beer and ogling the bartender’s cleavage from across the room, turns to look. Because well, the slow intro of the song goes surprisingly well with Eddie’s voice and the way he sings it, lips so close to the microphone he might as well start sucking it off? The bartender’s boobies are suddenly the last thing on Steve’s mind. 

The song picks up, and Eddie starts tossing that ridiculously floofy mane of hair, rocking those stupid, slender hips of his, dancing around the stage like a whirlwind, all with that infuriatingly pretty, dimpled grin of his. He’s a sight to behold. Steve has been catching himself thinking as much before, but here, on that stage, leather pants hugging his ass, lights illuminating his hair like a halo? Yeah, he’s stunning. Steve’s allowed to think as much, right? Some people are just stunning, no matter the gender. Everybody has those thoughts sometimes, it doesn’t make him gay or anything, does it?

And then Eddie comes whirling across the stage, leans into his space and makes direct eye contact as he sings “I wanna make a supersonic man out of you”. And then he’s gone again, continuing with his performance like nothing happened, and Robin is slapping Steve’s shoulder, howling with laughter at his dumbstruck face. 

Steve finds out a lot of things about himself right then and there.

...

Later that night, a very confused sexuality-crisis-ridden Steve buries his face in his pillows while Robin pats his shoulders, and groans “I don’t understand, Robin! I mean, it’s so stupid! What even is a supersonic man?” 

Robin's like "idk, babe, but apparently you want Eddie to turn you into one, so that's all we need to know rly."

Tagging a few friends to share a brainworm of their own: @sidekick-hero @penny00dreadful @medusapelagia @braincell-pingpong @griefabyss69 @steddie-island @doomcheese @eyesofshinigami

[midnightwriter21]

heyy :) can i request small scenarios of s/o asking the kny hashira what hairstyle do they like the best on them?? (like braid, ponytail, bun, hair down etc etc) some fluff!!

demon slayer hcs: which hairstyles do the hashira prefer

characters: obanai, rengoku, sanemi, muichiro, mitsuri, tengen, shinobu, giyuu

warnings: i say meanie words

an: giyuu’s kinda sucked lol i’m sorry. i don’t write for gyomei

OBANAI

i think obanai would prefer his partner to have a practical hairstyle

that way it doesn’t become an obstacle or even a danger if they come into contact with a demon

therefore he’d probably like his partner to wear their hair tied up in some way

whether it’s braided like mitsuri

or in a simple ponytail

as long as it’s outta the way and won’t become a safety hazard

bc with snake boy

your safety is his top priority

also!!

obanai is canonically down bad for his bae

so he’d also like his partners hair tied up so that it doesn’t obscure their face from his view

he likes to admire you

wants to see every inch of every expression that crosses your face

RENGOKU

i’ve said this before in other hcs but imma restate it here

kyo is the ultimate service bf

will do EVERYTHING for you

including doing your hair

that being said

i feel like he’d do your hair exactly the same way he does his

the lil half up half down thing he got goin on?

it’s the only hair style he knows how to do lmfao

but!!

if you don’t prefer that hairstyle he would absolutely learn how to do other ones

would prob ask mitsuri to teach him how to do hair

he just wants you to be happy with the way you look

SANEMI

BOYFRIENNDDDDDDD

he’s so gorgeous it makes me sick

my man’s likes long hair

now do NOT get it twisted!!

if you’re on a mission?

that hair better be tied tf up

ponytail, braids, bun, pigtails

he don’t care

but put it up

like obanai, your safety comes first

sanemi will tie your hair up himself if need be

it might get tangled… but it’ll be up

if you’re just chilling at the butterfly mansion or at his estate though…

he likes it down

he likes the way it flows down your back and frames your face

and when he’s feeling soft he likes to run his fingers through it

he thinks it makes you look more innocent and carefree

MUICHIRO

he does not gaf

at all lmfaoooooo

okay that’s a lie

kinda

i feel like he doesn’t really care about the length of your hair

or the exact style you wear it in

but i do think he likes face framing bangs

not for any real reason

just that it accentuates your facial features

it draws more attention to just how cute you are

MITSURI

oh you already know that y’all are about to be TWINNINGGGG

mitsuri is braiding your hair herself😤

i just know she’s so gentle with it too

she’s brushing your hair and detangling any stubborn knots

you don’t even feel the slightest tug on your scalp

did y’all’s moms ever pull tf outta your hair while they were doing ur hair when u were little?

i learned to do my own hair rly young cause she was so rough… just me? oh okay

ANYWAYS

yk when you used to plan to wear the same outfits as your friends when you were younger?

the whole “let’s both wear a skirt tomorrow” type thing?

that’s mitsuri but with your hair

and it’s every single day

queen

TENGEN

he does not have to be THAT fine bro tell the animators to calm down

ik they be animating him with one hand if ykwim lmfaoo

*ahem* anyways

another one that does not gaf what you do with your hair

as long as it’s ✨flashy✨

and by flashy i mean he wants it to be something that makes you feel and look confident

cause confidence is sexy af

period

now he does want you to keep up your hair maintenance

and by hair maintenance

i mean make sure that hair dye stays fresh

those split ends? trimmed

and keep that shit washed and clean too

other than hair maintenance i don’t think he’s that picky

every once in a while he might suggest a hairstyle he thinks would suit you

but ultimately it’s your decision

also i think he’s really good at doing hair

i mean the man has 3 wives already

if you think he’s not helping them style theirs… your wrong

SHINOBU

mommy? sorry… mommy?

i think she’d prefer your hair to be tied up in a bun

she likes to see your face

study your expressions

she likes being able to read you

things you like, dislike, and how you react to certain things

not only does she think you’re adorable

but she thinks your facial expressions are entertaining as well

she’s gonna help you do your hair

and she’s def the best at doing hair compared to the other hashira

she’s gonna have you looking good asf

not a hair out of place

GIYUU

water boy likes short hair

not super short

like below the chin but just barely above the shoulders

idk why i just feel it in my bones

also the cute wispy bangs covering your forehead

yeah

i can’t come up with a reason for this i just think it fits lmfao sorry

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC. OH MY GOD. HEAD IN HANDS. HOLY SHIT. ashe is in college (normal college i think??) VYCNENT IS IN SUPERHERO COLLEGE!!!! wiwi fucking around in the woods..... dakota also in college i think??? idk that wasn't super clear 2 me but i think he's there IDK I WAS JUST SO EXCITED FOR ALL OF THEM TO BE LIKE. EXISTING IN THE SAME PLACE!!!! ashe oughhh ashe i missed u ashe <3 i like to think he still has the trickster's wings. thats canon 2 me idc. oh my godd they're doing like. relatively normal shit!!!!!! aaaa!!!! oh i need 2 write a fic about them in college. i got 2. i MUST. even just a oneshot idc i wanna do it!!!

THE IRL MARIOKART AGAIN!!!! LE FROG!!! WILLIAM'S FUNERAL!!!! THE SILLIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!! SHENANIGANS!!!! oh that was so good. that was SO GOOD!!!!! oh im going 2 cry. i didn't cry and then it got to dakota with his aunt and i teared up a lil and then it had william falling off the cliff and landin gin the dirt and just. holding the soil in his hands and feeling it and i actually cried a lil. man. also CANTRIP IS NOT IN THE SPIRIT WORLD!!! WHERE IS SHE!!! DOES THIS MEAN SHE'S ALIVE OR IS SHE A GHOST I DON'T KNOWWWW GOD I WANT 2 KNOW. I WANT 2!!!! and atlas being killed. an X being carved into him. XAVIER VILLAIN ARC????? 👀👀👀👀 PERHAPS??? god i hope so. i would love to see him as a villain. i rly like xavier actually and i think he deserves to go a little apeshit <3 SO EXCITED FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN WITH MAL!!! GUY WAS ALREADY FUCKED UP AND NOW HE'S EVEN MORE UNHINGED!!!!! i like mal a lot. he fucking sucks. terrible horrible awful little man. i love him so much he's such a cool fucking character i want to throw him out a window <3 idiot shit bastard man!!!!!! and william asking vyncent if he would come to ghim funeral. bro was like THIS CLOSE 2 asking him out. i am telling u. and btw william's fucking "vyncent did you realize anything while i was gone?" right ebfore vyncent just passes tf out in ep39 was so fucking. yeah. that's ghostknife!!!!!!! it always almost happens and then it fucking doesn't!!! i love that for them i hope they're ten times as gay and awkward in s3 <3

GOD. that was so good. finales always fuck me up dude. im so fucking emotional. i feel like my entire being is vibrating like a lightning rod or some shit. ALSO u gotta send me more trivia abt the episodes!!! i think the last one u sent me was for episode 15 of s2. GOD PLS SEND ME GREYSCALE AND DEADWOOD TRIVIA!!!!!! I WANT IT!!!!! I WANT 2 KNOW WHAT THE HELL CHARLIE WAS THINKING DURING GREYSCALE. WHAT WERE UR THOUGHTS KING!!! TELL ME MR SLMCL!!!!!!!!

man. im gonna listen 2 bitb next but i feel like i gotta take a few days first yk??? i gotta let that shit sink in. i hope ur havin a good time reading worm <3 i wil start worm soon!! i just wanna get thru jrwi first bc if i try to get into more than one thing at a time that i know will inhabit my entire brain i feel like my brain is melting. too many blorbo thoughts i gotta stick to one thing first. anyway yeah that was. fucking wild <3 ty for getting me into jrwi i regret nothing

HIIIIIIIIIII WHISKEY. SORRY I LET THIS SIT IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I LOVE YOU.AUGH. PRIME DEFENDERS MY LOVE. every day i think about yakko showing up in cosplay . that made me so happy. ashe winters i love you so dearly. i have so many thoughts about post s2 ashe. if ashe isnt in s3 im going to fucking riot.

when i tell you that fucking part with the cliff made me UGLY CRY . like full on. "and you stay there" lives in my head forever.

EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT A POSSIBLE XAVIER VILLAIN ARC. LIKE. THATS GOTTA BE HIM RIGHT. THAT CANT NOT BE HIM. i wonder if allen is with him. fuck. AND WHERES CANTRIP. GOD. i miss her :( i think she deserves to go full vengeful spirit on williams ass and haunt him like a fucking poltergeist. god forbid women do anything.

dude finales fuck me up so bad too. god. 39 hurts me just a little bit more than 40 but 40 is still SOOOO insanely good to me. 40 was like the breath of fresh air we needed. i dont think 40 hit me as hard as a finale because i know we're getting a 3rd season so its not OVER yet. but something about it just made it feel so much more impactful than a regular season finale. god. i miss them so much.

IM SO GLAD YOU GOT INTO JRWI !!!!!!! ITS BEEN SO FUN SEEING YOU GUYS REACT TO EVERYTHING!!!!!! jrwi has been like. HUGE main hyperfix for me since like. last october. so im having sooooo much fun forever. hehehehe. me when my beloved mutuals and i are all into the same piece of media again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hotchs-big-hands]

can i rant for bit cuz ugh why do all the men on dating apps suck?? i hate how some men really seem to fetishize plus size women. like when you're trying to talk with them and all they wanna talk about is sexual stuff from the get go 😡😤 like hello?!? im more than just my body?? ive never even met you dude. ive got a personality, interests, etc. like do these men think they're doing plus size women a favor by aggressively sexualizing them?

it honestly sucks so much. so in order to cope I've been fantasing about hotch 😏

like imagine dbf!hotch where he overhears you ranting about dating and the men on the apps and later tries to talk to you about it. he'd tell you that they're all boys and you need a man.after hearing how upset and objectified you feel he'd probably decide to actively pursue you. especially if you've had a will they-wont they thing going on.

i just really want him to seduce me and give me a reason to delete all my dating apps

❤️‍🔥

I'm so sorry this is so late but girlie I feel this so hard. I legit gave up on dating apps cuz it was just "let me see how big your tits are" "😜 wanna meet up and fuck?" Even if your profile says you're not looking for that, youre looking to date! I thought at one point I found someone who was chill and wanted to just go on a date but then 🧍 well, we won't get into that. All in all, ppl need to stop fucking fetishising fat ppl. It's dehumanising. Do we want to be desired sexually? Absolutely. But not just that tho. We want to be loved and accepted for who we are and how we look. I really hope that you do eventually find someone who doesn't just see you as a sex object, ❤️‍🔥 anon because you deserve it 💖💖

Dbf!Aaron Hotchner is sooooooooo🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 OOOOOGH

He is fucking PISSED knowing you're being treated like this on dating apps. He thinks it's fucking disgusting that people see you as nothing but a fetish. He fucking adores you. He thinks you're funny, sweet, beautiful, kind and well, of course he thinks you're fucking sexy too. But knowing you're trying to deal with all this shit makes him angry.

So he does whatever he can to show that he's, first of all, into you very much so. But also that hes not after you just for "having a good fuck with a thicc girl". The thought of people treating you as less than human, just sexual organs because of your curves makes him fucking sickened. Man starts to rly make an effort to show he is interested in you. He tries even harder to make you smile and laugh, treats you to stuff, is extremely attentive if you ever vent to him. And he can see it's working, you've got a pep in your step, and you always have that adorable shy smile on your face whenever he talks to you or looks at you. Big fan of fixing a stand of your hair.

One day something changes, you come to him upset and frustrated and you show him the dating app. You vent about it to him all about the disingenuous guys on there only seeing you as a thicc chick to fuck so they can tick it off their bucket list. And so he hugs you close, kissing the top of your head and says he can't stand to see you so upset anymore. But he has something to say that could help.

You pull away, confused. And he's looking at you with so much tenderness your heart tightens. He smiles, brushing a stray tear from your cheek.

"Sweetheart, those stupid boys don't know what they're doing. They don't know how to treat a woman, how to make her feel loved and cared for and seen as more than just their body type. I... I want to know if you'll have me. Accept me to show you how you deserve to be treated."

You can barely string words together, it's cute. But he sees more tears again and he panics, thinking he's gone too far.

"I'm sorry, this was not appropriate. I-"

"Yes.. I- yes, I want you." You interrupt him. It makes him pause, staring at you for a moment as he studies your expression. You glance away, feeling shy again. "I only started using dating apps because I didn't think I'd ever get to be with you, Aaron..."

Oh, oh sweetheart. His heart is soaring and he pulls you close for a tight hug, swaying you gently.

"Sweetheart, you have me. I'm yours."

Needless to say you freed up a lotttttt of space on your phone getting rid of all the dating apps 🥰 plenty of storage for the incoming pics you and Aaron will take together from this point forward.

[lesbanim]

d20 fhjy ramblings below

i feel like reuben is in solace’s version of witness protection 👀 this man does not feel Smart enough to be some mastermind and keep it on the down low. lucy dying After the honey had already been ordered, rueben cancelling tours, henry’s concern (has someone found rueben? did the complicated women podcast actually trigger some sort of consequences?) i don’t rly know but i honestly wouldn’t be surprised if buddy is entirely in the dark about everything to do w his party. none of their party besides kipperlily are giving criminal mastermind, and even then maybe kipperlily just sucks. evil in a boring way. giving penelope everpetal ass bitch. i can’t think of any motive for her to be fucking w this shit especially when she’s already been seeking help for anger issues starting in the high 5 heroes, and maybe jawbone isn’t the only person she sees?

[maddiemuu]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 W BERNADETTE. PLS.

HI HELLO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!! i had a Week. putting this under a cut bc it is soo long LMAO

cw for mention of miscarriage + fatphobia/negative body image stuff + some descriptions of like. emotional abuse/shitty family dynamics. mom and dad berkshire suck real bad.

ummmm in short. itsa very bad. in long. bernadette has Many issues. here r some of her most defining ones (to me):

ok so first r her anger issues lol. bernadette is fucking MEAN which is extra bad bc she is very easily pissed off and does not rly bother controlling most of her impulses re:anger. she's fully aware of how unlikely she is to face consequences for her actions, so she can't really internally justify doing anything differently. like why bother lol.

NEXT r her wacko relationships with her siblings + by extension their horrible horrible parents. she especially has a MAJOR inferiority complex centered around her relationship w/ her younger sister beatrice. she HHHHATES beatrice, which is very funny to me bc beatrice is 16. bernadette has insane one sided beef with her despite being a full decade older. she fully views beatrice as like. the kid her parents had to spite her for not being "good enough" as a daughter which like. ok not an entirely inaccurate read on why beatrice exists. their parents should definitely not have had even one child, much less three. but here we are. bernadette blames beatrice for a lot of her mistreatment/role as the scapegoat as the family (the logic being that without beatrice around, there wouldn't be anyone around to make her look worse by comparison lol) even though that is entirely illogical + her parents DEF would have just found someone else to pit her against. bernadette is a lot closer with bentley due to a lot of diff factors, but she does still resent him a fair bit lol. they look very similar, and it especially makes her pretty upset that he doesn't get the same shit for being fat that she does. she just generally thinks he gets things pretty easy for being a man and being the oldest. he is oblivious to this 👍. bernadette also resents her parents, and has been made VERY aware she is the least favorite child, but instead of choosing to reject the inherently unfairly stacked system they have built, she's managed to convince herself that there's a chance she can earn their approval and love by just Proving how much better she is than her siblings. she is wrong about this ! on some level, she is aware she is wrong. but she's spent most of her life with that bootstrap mentality and is too afraid of what will happen if she gives it up. some fun "spoilers" related to bernadette + her fam's future: she does soooort of get a taste of being the favorite daughter (by default) again when beatrice is 20 and gets disowned for being gay (she is fine. she has her own money + a career by that point), but it's more like... she gets to be the second least favorite LOL. bernadette does also eventually get married but i have been too lazy to design her husband. maybe somedayyy. she really wanted kids and was pregnant twice but ended up miscarrying both times, and then decided she didn't ever want to try again or become a parent through other means. her marriage ends in a MEGA DIVORCE bc she and her husband can never come to an agreement about where to go from there. she never remarries but she can have one or two boytoys i think. a little treat from me to her. (one idea i've tossed around is a childhood friend/child of her parents' friends who has been singularly OBSESSED with her since they were like 12. she was his first kiss. she has forgotten this. He Has Not. she strings him along for her entertainment and he is aware of it but also totally fine with the situation) bentley on the other hand has two daughters and while he and bernadette remain somewhat close for the rest of his life (he dies first lol. in 2034 iirc? clock's a tickin bentley. better get to work on that bucket list) he is definitely (unintentionally) sort of insensitive about this.

related, she's just also generally pretty insecure at her core. the ice queen persona isn't a Lie, it's more of like. an idealized version of herself (to her at least lol). nothing can hurt her that way!!!! she's in control! she is also a major control freak which is really unfortunate bc at the end of the day she really does not control much at all <3. she's especially insecure about her body, which once again was MAJORLY exacerbated by seeing how beatrice was rewarded for being the Pretty, Thin Daughter, while she was the Ugly and Fat one. also did not help that she used to be much thinner and her family will not let her forget that.

ok i am going to cut myself off here i think bc otherwise u will be getting a whole thesis on bernadette. i love her i love talking about her. there is so much wrong with her. thank you SO much for the ask

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E20: Darkness Falls

Case: You know it's gonna be a good time when our heroes have to take off their government office clothes and put on some survival gear. Similar to Ice—which we all know is a top tier episode—Darkness Falls sees Mulder and Scully on the hunt to discover what happened to a team of loggers that disappeared in Olympic National Forest up in Washington. (Spoiler alert: Bad things happened to the loggers.) After the discovery of one of the loggers inside of a gigantic bug cocoon—and after the ominous testimony and environmentalist rant of a random eco-terrorist raiding their base for food—our dynamic duo and their episode sidekick NPCs conclude that there's a serious pest control problem happening out there in the forest, and the only thing that will keep them safe is staying in the light. Good thing they aren't stranded, and that Mulder didn't give away all their extra fuel, and that they definitely have more than just one single lightbulb and a sputtering generator to get them through the night. Oh, wait. 😬

Mulder has weird sexual tension with an eco-terrorist; Scully has the Coat of All Time™️ (in my notes, I literally just have the word COAT written down and then underlined); a forest service marshal has had it up to here with these dumb treehuggers; and CGI is once again used liberally, this time to create fluorescent green bugs that suck you dry (and not in a fun way). Let's go on a nice trip to the forest! 

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Yeah boi!

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Nah, the government is destroying that shit posthaste.

Whodunit: Old bugs

Convictions: None necessary

Did they solve it: Yes! Using Ice rules here. The evidence was technically destroyed, but they were able to solve the case before that happened. Also, that quarantine facility doesn't look like a fun time and I feel bad for them, so I'll toss 'em a bone.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Giant, ugly, multicolored 90s raincoats on tiny people. Provide decades of delight to people all over the world by wearing a giant, ugly, multicolored 90s raincoat on your tiny, tiny frame. You look adorable. You are also so tiny. Why did you buy your raincoat at Big and Tall??

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 10 (streak restarted. it's fucking ping pong up in here)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me" Phone Calls: 1

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 5

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 6

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 10

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 2 (she examines a dead body, but there's like, not rly a lot left to do an autopsy on even if she had the space to do it)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 10 

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 1 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 1

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 2

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 7½ (i wrote it down in my notes lmfao)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5 (nah man, i love Darkness Falls)

[zayphora]

honestly so many situations of showing your ass and making a fool of yourself on social media could be stopped by people just not feeling the need to publicly broadcast their opinions about things they don’t fully understand

im seeing all these posts about white people on tumblr saying stupid shit about rap and other genres pioneered by people of color and getting rightfully roasted, and every time something like this happens im just like. so many people could stop from looking foolish if they stopped and thought for a second.

I’ll be the first to admit i don’t know much about rap for example myself, and I understand it’s a genre and culture that I as a white person am an outsider to. (i need to listen to more of it to develop an opinion actually.) so I don’t go around having broad sweeping public opinions about it or blabbing about it, or anything else that isn’t my purview rly.

so often i see ppl getting dunked on for things they couldve avoided getting dunked on if they just kept their takes to themselves or kept them in the oven until they understood more about the world around them. social media rly does incentivize shooting ur mouth off and it Sucks

I guess in some ways people getting publicly roasted is good because they wouldve just kept the dumb opinions otherwise / maybe it will cause other ppl to reconsider. but it also makes me feel like man these people aren’t going to learn they’re just going to get embarrassed / mad. and idk in some ways they just deserve mockery, regardless of whether it’s productive, but idk.

I forever wish there were better ways to communicate online that didn’t make people into mega fool examples for having bad, ill-thought-out, uneducated, ignorant, etc takes. but until that gets invented I feel like we all could benefit from just keeping our mouths shut more. maybe I will find that this post is a thing I should have kept my mouth shut on and delete it (and I will if sometime tells me to) but yeah. tldr: we should all think before we post

[eff-plays]

hope this doesn't come across as rude (to you to be clear i'm not concerned with a video game man's feelings) but what does hira see in astarion? i know the fic will probably get into it but i'm impatient 😭

The fic will go into it!! So I don't wanna spoil it, but then again it will be months before we get to that point and maybe ppl will have forgotten by then. Or I will have changed my mind/come up with something else so lmao. Under cut for those who don't want spoilers either way.

They genuinely like that he's an asshole and that he doesn't censor himself even a little bit. Their line of "work" involves appearing as pleasant and attractive as possible, and they like that the moment Astarion doesn't have to do that anymore, he's like "um. I'm done being palatable. Fuck you forever." He's like "oh this fucking sucks" at any moment and yeah it's annoying but it's also like? Fun.

Like he tries? To be all suave and agreeable. But he's bad at it. And they like that he's bad at it because to them that makes him more genuine in a weird way. Cuz to them, being so good at pleasing people means you shave off bits of yourself in the process. Which he's done doing. And the fact that he's quite bad at being (deliberately) charming despite it being his job means to them that his core, his true self, is still there.

And that ties into how they like that he's resilient. That despite all the shit life (or undeath) has thrown at him, he's got enough of himself left in there to demand more, to demand better from the world. Hira knows instinctively that they also deserve better and could demand better from those who wronged them but they're also too scared and meek to go back and actually do that. They're happy keeping a low profile and doing shit they don't strictly want to just to avoid raising said profile. They're complacent in the sort of avoidant and flippant life they've built for themself so having someone who's just "no I know exactly what I want and I will get it or I will die shut the fuck up do NOT tell me I'm wrong or incorrect in any way" is very inspiring in a weird way. Like motherfucker is often wrong about things on a moral level but he knows exactly what he wants and what he's owed.

And to them that's like god. I wish that were me. I will help you weird vampire man. I need to see your dreams come true as a way to live vicariously through you.

So they're very proud of him at the end. Like he rly did that. Inspiring. Life-changing even. Muse behavior fr. The Radiant Hopeful stuff at the end just rly cements that. He goes from being a bad example/potential enabler to being a genuine beacon of hope. A-star-ion if you wi-- *gets shot*

[oogalaboogalabich]

Posting my current list of things i wanna draw cause honestly, id much rather see someone elses take on a lot of them.

Most of these are labeled under "degenerate art ideas" so take from that what you will.

Please feel free to use any one of these.

-----

- The Kiss from fallout. If you know you know. Bane and bhaal with a dead durge and gortash.

-Comic: Astarion in trouble and drizzt comes out of nowhere all heroic and saves him and hes all doe eyed n shit.

-Halsin and mr meadhoney. "Do you have a particular fondness for large and...heavily armed men, mr. Meadhoney?"

-Lucretious the necromancer and astarion dancing the tango together with the skellies in the back playing music."The dead are always such superb dancers."

-Comic: Lucretious topping astarion, bent over the stages edge. "What if we put you in my show darling. Im sure we could find something for a star like you...something youd love as much as the crowd."

"Youd make a spectacle of me?"

"In front of THOUSANDS who come just to see the most perfect beauty in all of the planes."

"Oh yes i quite like the thought of that."

-Comic: "Orin: you suck up the tyrants vapors like a babe sucks milk."

"Durge: tch fuckin yeah i do."

"Astarion: D:<!!?"

"Orin: *quinten terantino scowl that she does*"

-Vellioth as the "i yearn for the urn" tiktok

- astarion amputee doodles (thank you godey for that idea)

-3 musketeers quote "i love that in a man." "What. Passion?" "Violence" but ghoap or durge. Maybe make a version of both?

-when (doodly dude) hit me real hard that one night and my jaw rattled in my skull all nasty, but make it durgestarion hehehehehehe

-Astarion licking blood from durge in one of the pools of blood (idea from mignon scene)

-Durgetash comic of demon slayer masochism abridged thing with the lady man demon

- bg3 crew bein a bunch of rly cute parrots doin dumb cute things.

-same idea but theyre all shoebill storks.

-comic: "Mighty sanctum" bit, then durge pulls astarion into his lap and kisses him. "Fairly certain you would castrate me if i tried to fuck you right here like i want...im still not sure if thats a deterrent or temptation" but ya know...better written.

"bloody degenerate...unhand me."

"Let go of my neck then."

"No"

"Well then...")

-Mungojerrie from cats and astarion both comolimenting each others pearls and casually holding something they swiped from the other. Riumpleteaser and durge are snickering and sharing a look, while RT has swiped something of durges, durge is pulling out his/her dagger

- Durge/Tav painting astarion in gold, and feeding him blood in a hedonism date night. he thinks the gold paint is just for tav. But he keeps saying "i just want you to see yourself as i see you." And stuch things.

He leads him to a giant ass mirror and lo and behold, there he is. In the flesh. The colors arent there of course. Hes looks like a statue, but its still...its more than the statue, its more than a portrait.

-Lyrical comic of durgetash ritual by ghost

-comic: Astarion is walking with the gang. He looks up to see something and narrows his eyes. He suddenly bursts into bats, flies up onto the space he was trying to peer at and reappears in a panic. Somethin like....

"I was eight bats...how...fuck...gods how am i supposed to even process that!?

Astarion are you alri

"I WAS IN EIGHT FUCKING PLACES AT ONCE TAV I AM NOT ALRIGHT"

-comic- Volothamp talking to tav about a rat exodus from "a mysterious "red castle" " where their bretheren kept going missing. So they gave up the territory and moved to a "red cave" just beneath it, where blood flows even more freely.

Astsrion recognizes the palace, and remembers a time where rats were in such short supply that cazador had simply switched to insects for a while. Well with astarion he had, the rest had been treated to cats and dogs, in order to lessen the threat against the local rat population. Durge in the meantime, has an odd memory about commanding rats to find reconnisance if they wish to find safety with (fuzzy writing that doesnt quite translate to words)

-Astarions ascension but its happy with evil hugs.

-Durge reacting to the gnoll birth holy hells that was funny.

-Durge eviscerating astarion while he arches off the ground as if in ecstacy rather than pain. Theyre both laughing in wild, crying hysterics and theres those timasks spores everywhere.

-Comic: A -Astarion in the mirror frowning and looking distressed, even a little pissed in a mini panel, as he pinches a small amount of belly fat. Hes a very healthy weight but like 200 years o trauma dawg. Next pannel he looks thoughtful (considering that hes never had enough to eat before to warrant gaining rather than steadily losing weight), third panel he looks up in a catlike manner and fingertip taps his stomach near his hip. Very silly smug cat face meme feels here

-Chaste kiss canon durgestarion/tash vs nasty canon durgestarion/tash

-Comic of vellioth uncovering mummystarion from crypt.

-Comic of astarion fucking posessed n bound durge in the shar library.

-An archer in general doing leg archery. Maybe two goofballs doin it at each other with silly faces. I can see any combo of minsc and lazel and astarion doing this weirdly enough.

-spit/ blood exchange between s/a astarions.

-That moment when astarion is blissed out in the sauce under durge in the grove. Maybe a pov where theres drops of blood mid fall, and theres two hands smearing it all over his chest.

-A astarion sitting on bhaals altar while durge and gortash dogfight.

-Gortash with his hand inside a lasceration in durges belly, squeezing himself off all slowlike inside durge. bloody handprints everywhere, though some have turned to black sooted handprints. Theyre kissing all disgustin

-Slayer and a predator Shilouetted gwtw style

-Astarion getting railed by a Predator.

-Lazel getting railed by a Predator.

-Honestly just put everyone in every fandom with a predator at some point like fu c ks sake

-Comic of the superimposed cazador murder/thunderstorm blood frenzy xex scene from that one fic i never finished

-The king E x Ragnar bath scene but nasty. (Also durgetash?)

-Astarion with floorlength hair and dripping with pearls, looking a little emaciated, or perhaps just extra slender themes to the art

Two smaller panels where vellioth h it away and carefully styles it while figaros corpse lays in the corner. Vellioth should look younger but less pretty.

-Durge slips his hands into astarions back pockets (in this comic he has invented ass pockets) "butt"

He goes "no, butt." And walks away. Durge looks down at his hands that are still right there where his butt was. And he squeezes the air with a smile

[lanaactuallyabanana]

Okayyy, so I decided since the last matchup I asked for ended up being *cough* The name we do not speak *cough*, I decided Imma ask for a redo on this cause... Yeah, I think you can tell why lol. I've changed since last year and that's gonna be noticeable in the updated matchup!

5'6 with semi-long, wavy, brunette hair and amber eyes. I have lots of freckles and glasses that have a black, square frame. In Summer, I usually wear pants and a tshirt, or shorts and a sweater. If I'm not wearing that, I'm probably wearing a dress. (Outfit reference is at the bottom). I have received a lot of support when it comes to my anxiety and while I have my moments, I am more comfortable being loud and energetic out in public. I'm a cat person and my love language is physical touch/affection, that hasn't changed in the slightest. I'm super big of PDA, I love hand holding, kissing, etc. Obviously nothing too much. No making out in public, just like pecks on the cheek.

To narrow down some other stuff, I'm straight, but no hate goes to the LGBTQ+ community, they super chill. I love nicknames, love stuffed animals, and love love love band. I'm a flute, as you know, and while I do suck at practicing, I'm not bad at it. I've met all my super duper close friends through band (including Jackie, she's a retired Saxophonist). I have a music stand in my room.

Or

Just for reference, I do like brighter colors like blues and oranges and reds and purples or violets.

Also, just to give a vibe check for the matchup:

Spotify ✅

YouTube ✅

Books ✅

Pinterest ✅✅✅✅✅

Take your time getting to this, I know I'm kinda flooding your inbox!

Eat, drink lots of water, take time to rest, take your time getting to this!!!!

-Kenzzzz :))))

i literally love hearing about you guys and your personalities, matchups are so funsies for me teehee (some of yall might think im a lil crazy for this matchup but trust the process)

, streamer matchups !

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LOADING....

you have been matched with ... dream!

okay the first thing i thought about was height, i know some ppl dont rly care about it BUT

if you're 5'6...

and he's 6'2...

do we see the vision????

okay but srsly the height difference would actually drive people insane (including me.)

also yalls eyes would be so contrasting yet so complimenting towards each other (your hazel eyes + his green eyes)

y'all doing sorta matching outfits

like not completely the same print/pattern or that kinda thing

but like similar colors or formal/casual wear if that makes sense

just outfits that compliment each other cause its cutesy

hes the type of person to also comfort you in times when ur anxious or nervous in any situation

he could literally be on a meeting call but if he sees you needing him for something, he'll hang up instantly

you're the most important thing in the world to him out of everything

he loves holding your hands like holy shit

you have to pull this mans fingers off you so you can grab something or go somewhere else

the hand size difference omg im screaming

hugs omg

either hug you from behind from your waist or normal hugs but he'll lean down and place his head on your head

he loves to help you practice (former band kid writing this 🙋‍♀️)

page flipping on your stand

if you ever need a tuning he'll have it tuned asap for you

he has a metronome and tuner app on his phone for you

you helping him with music stuff

he loves getting your opinion on everything he does cause he trusts u sm

hes also constantly giving you stuffed animals

OMG YOU KNOW HOW PPL USED TO COLLECT SQUISHMALLOWS AND HAD THAT LITTLE ROPE THING ON THEIR WALLS HJDHASHSSD

he prob built something like that for you cause he kept giving you so many

no complaints here tho 🤷‍♀️

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i loved writing this tehehehehehehehehhehehe !!! i hoped u guys enjoyed!

thank you to @catswithroses for the lovely ask <3

please support me and my writing by liking, replying, commenting, reblogging and following me! it means the world

love u guys xoxoxo