Tumgik
#side note: you will not catch me referring to this condition by its proper name 9/10 times
lunapwrites · 7 months
Text
This is my third time being (actually) sick during the Bean Time, and I very literally think that while I probably could have emotionally handled having a cold that destroyed all of my weekend plans, experiencing Braxton Hicks probably due to dehydration (I'm trying okay) for the first time ever WHILE having a cold that has destroyed all of my weekend plans is pushing me a little past my bullshit tolerance threshold.
...On the plus side, got a good grade in blood sugar. So there's that at least.
11 notes · View notes
winetae · 5 years
Text
wall to wall (m.) 01
↳ in a pornographic movie, refers to a series of sex scenes with no plot.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
⇁ female reader x hoseok 
⇁ smut, porn star!au
⇁ sex work, insecurity, jealousy, slut shaming/objectification (not the sexy kind), role played scenario that includes: d/s dynamics - dom!hoseok, porn star level dirty talk, stuff that should never happen in a kitchen bc hygiene, daddy kink, impreg kink, rough sex, spanking, a lot of finger sucking, this fic is a poor attempt at social commentary
⇁ 22.5k
. . .
Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman. Your agent comes forward with a proposition to help put you back on the map.
↳ or, my contribution to the lights, camera, action collab : )
part 01 | part 02 | part 03
Tumblr media
author’s note | inspired by the piece ‘slut-shaming: pornstars are humans too’ & the life after porn documentaries on netflix. thank u to jordan, eva, amy, venus, addie and lu for being a part of this collab !! *inserts a million heart emojis and a big fat NUT emoticon*
re:warnings, the slut shaming is done by others and can also be considered as internalized oppression. it’s something the reader struggles with and eventually works to overcome. this first part isn’t as smutty as the second but regardless i hope u can bear with me lol. ty, as always, for giving my writing a chance. i hope u enjoy it or at least take something from it !
wall2wall can be read as a sequel to my fic money shot. same disclaimer applies: this story does claim to accurately portray the world of adult entertainment
.
Tumblr media
.
.
SCENE 01 - YOU’VE GOT MALE. TAKE 01. ROLL A.
.
Today is just one of those days you wish you had slept straight through. Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t be dying from the sheer dullness of having nothing to do.
You huff out a sigh, bored out of your goddamn mind.
Head cradled in the crook of your left palm, you use your available hand to refresh your instagram feed. Much to your disappointment, nothing new shows up. The same video of a dog chasing its own tail plays on but you pay it no heed, the novelty having worn off after the first few times.
The next half hour passes by in a similar fashion, each result proving to be as unavailing as the last. You’d think that after a while you’d give up and find a new distraction to pass the time but whether out of habit or boredom-induced insanity, you persist with your fruitless attempts.
Today really fucking blows, you think glumly, the curve of your mouth thinning into a grimace. As the adorable corgie keeps the infernal cycle going, yapping and running around incessantly, you’re struck with a terrifying thought. Maybe this is how you will die - condemned to live your life stuck in the worst sort of monotony imaginable.
What you had expected to be a “quick and easy” shoot has turned into a tedious ordeal that you don’t see ending anytime soon. And whilst on-set complications and prolongations are frequent enough that they’re almost expected, today really takes the cake. Even during your rookie days, you can’t recall running into delays of this scale.
To top it off, the weather app announces a record-breaking heat - which in itself is bad enough. As luck would have it, it gets worse. The place rented out for today’s filming lacks proper air conditioning, equipped instead with electric fans that look like they’ve been around since the 1980s.
A quick glance into the vanity mirror confirms that you look as frazzled as you feel. Because of the humidity level that weighs down the air, your hair is in a right state. You fight a grimace off your face. The straggly hair coupled with the oily sheen on your face...it’s far from your best look, to say the least.
And to think thousands of people will get to see it up close in 1080p resolution... It’s a terrifying concept.
You’re already dreading the upcoming sex scenes that you’ve yet to film. It’s always a messy affair - fluids of all kind end up literally everywhere - but the sweltering heat undoubtedly makes it ten times worse. A shudder works its way down your spine.
Frankly speaking, the mere thought of having hot and wild sex in these less than ideal working conditions kills your libido. Under the glaring studio lights, surrounded by sweaty crewmen and pressed up an equally feverish body - it’s basically the porn equivalent of a fuckin’ barbecue party.
Yeah, no thanks. You’d rather be at home, with the air conditioner at full blast, nestled in the comfy cushions of your sofa as you marathon a series of your choice on netflix. Only the promised sum of money keeps you from bolting and calling it quits altogether.
“So when are you gonna drop the new boy toy?” a voice buzzes in your ear not unlike a pesky fly.
Tempting as it is to ignore it, you peel your eyes away from your reflection just in time to catch Seokjin shoot you the most unimpressed look in his repertoire, one perfectly groomed eyebrow arched in judgment.
In the background, an old ceiling fan whirs on but does nothing to cool you off. If anything, its constant rattling only exacerbates your growing headache.
“What are you talking about?" You flick a piece of imaginary lint off your dressing robe, your tone neutral.
Seokjin’s brown eyes see right through your feigned air of indifference. Months of working by your side have made him an expert at reading your body language, be it naked or clothed. A wolfish grin adorns his face as he swoops in for the kill.
“Oh come on. You know exactly who I’m talking about. Jongmin. He’s short - comes up to right about here.” Seokjin holds a hand up to his chest to illustrate his point, deliberately shaving off a few inches off your boyfriend’s height in order to antagonize you.
You bite the inside of your cheek, careful not to spit out the retort that’s perched on the tip of your tongue. It takes a great deal of effort to unclench the muscles in your jaw but you manage to school your features into an expression of polite confusion.
Seokjin frowns, dissatisfied with your lack of response. You don’t need to be a mind reader to know that he’s currently thinking of new ways to provoke you.
When the silence stretches on and he’s yet to riposte, you allow yourself  to relax again, believing that he’s given up on being an asshole.
To your chagrin, you’re sorely mistaken. The last of your self-restraint is finally put to the test as his next words do nothing to quell your irritation.
“Jongmin.” He repeats slowly, like you need it spelled out for you. “He follows you around everywhere like a lap dog. It’d be cute if it wasn’t so, you know, pathetic.”
“His name is Jimin,” you correct for the nth time.
Instantly, you reprimand yourself for playing into his games and granting him the attention he so craves. Fulfilling his twisted desire is the last thing you hope to achieve. Staying silent would be the sensible thing to do but your brain completely bypasses the memo. The moment your mouth opens it’s impossible to quash the urge to justify yourself.
Maybe it’s your pride coming into play. Maybe it’s Seokjin’s uncanny ability to get under anyone’s skin at will. Whatever the case may be, you stammer out, on the defensive, “And he’s not my 'boy toy'. We - it’s not - we’re dating.” But the word feels like a weight on your tongue. You swallow.
The statement earns you a scoff of incredulity. “Dating? Him?”
You finally set your phone down and aim a glare his way, abandoning all pretense at being indifferent because—Jesus. Is the idea of you dating that unfathomable? He’s never been this worked up over any of your other relationships. Granted, none of them have ever lasted this long but is it really any of his business who you choose to see in your free time?
“I don’t get what your problem is. What’s so wrong with me dating?”
“Have you seen who you’re dating?”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?!”
While this isn’t the first time your agent lets a judgmental comment slip from between his pearly white teeth, it’s usually not laced with spite. Seokjin is never outright hostile, preferring sweet words of manipulation and thinly-veiled insults to shows of aggression. The attempt to get a rise out of you does not go by unnoticed. His anger, this time, feels personal.
You wrack your brain, quickly sifting through your recent memories to try and figure out why he’s chosen to be such an ass today. You’re certain that you’ve filled out all the necessary paperwork required to proceed with today’s filming, and yes, after thinking it over, you know that you went to the obligatory medical checkup last week. So there really is no reason for him to bitch at you unless—
The proverbial light bulb flickers on and it all suddenly makes sense.
You’re willing to bet a hefty sum of money that the high-paying gig you turned down two weekends ago is to blame for his abnormal crotchety behavior.
Yes, that would explain it.
Due to Seokjin's well-known propensity to hold a grudge for longer than average, the odds that he’s still hung up over the lost deal are pretty high. And as much as his disappointment and frustration are understandable from a business standpoint, you don’t appreciate being used as a verbal punching bag for him to expel all those pent-up feelings.
Seokjin hums, a knowing smirk pulling the sides of his mouth upwards. Fleetingly, and not for the first time, you find it a shame that his cockiness tarnishes his otherwise handsome face. “I give it another couple of days until you get bored. How long has this gone on for? A month? How are you not yanking out your hair from the sheer boredom of dating...that."
A muscle in your jaw ticks.
“He’s not Voldemort, you coward. Would it honestly kill you to say his name?” Seokjin’s expression begs to differ. You cut him off before he can add fuel to the fire. “And I won’t get bored. Jimin’s - he’s a perfectly nice guy. We’ve been seeing each other just fine—not that it’s any of your concern.”
“Yes, he’s nice,” Seokjin concedes easily, brushing off any attempts at putting an end to the conversation. He grins, wide and smug, like he knows you can’t refute what he’ll say next. “Perfectly nice and boring. The kind of guy you’d bring back home if your parents were straight-laced folks that wanted to marry you off to a choir boy. Seriously, how the fuck did a guy like him end up in the porn industry? He belongs in a church or, I dunno, maybe some neighborhood book club - not behind a camera filming you getting flogged by a daddy dom.”
You sniff. “Just because he tucks his shirts in doesn’t—”
“It’s not just the shirts, honey.” He leans over to pat your hand in a gesture of consolation. Used to his antics, his attempt is easily blocked by a swat of your hand.
You muster the dirtiest look you’re capable of, the kind of look that sends men to early graves, but he simply smiles in response, completely unfazed.
Any person with the minimum amount of tact would know to politely change the subject. It’s unfortunate that your agent does not belong to that pool of individuals, choosing instead to be selectively blind to overt social cues.
He continues on, unperturbed, like he has a point to prove. “Believe it or not, I know you. Sometimes, for whatever reason, perhaps a lapse in judgement but who the fuck knows, you like to venture out of your comfort zone and experiment. Like with the chickenshit gingerbread spice concoctions they come out with at Starbucks to celebrate turkey season and Christmas or the cream cheese makis they make for the white crowd who want to eat sushi but don’t like anything other than white rice and seaweed. And, trust me, while I’m all for diversity and broadening your personal experiences, don’t you think there’s a reason why you always go back to your preferred choice of an iced latte with two sugars?”
“Did you just compare Jimin to a gingerbread latte?”
Okay, so admittedly you’ve made some questionable food and beverage choices in the past, but the comparison is a fucking reach. 
“You’re absolutely right." Seokjin gives a firm nod of his head, his expression serious. "Now that you mention it, he’s definitely a vanilla soy. Bland and boring. Targeted towards the middle-aged soccer moms that think veganism is a trend, not a lifestyle. Wants to be a people-pleaser but misses the mark.”
“I didn’t know it was Share Your Unwanted Opinion Time,” you grind out from behind a strained smile. “If I had, I would have said something about your receding hairline earlier.”
It’s a low blow but the way Seokjin’s plump lips curl in displeasure makes the dig worth it. One of his hands automatically shoot up to flatten the bangs that are usually slicked back with copious amounts of gel.
Offended, he spits, “It’s not receding! There’s a difference between premature balding and a bleach job gone wrong.”
"I'm not sure people care to differentiate. Looks like a receding hairline to me." You shrug while picking at your nails. “You’re nearing that age, too, so.”
“You just try looking this good at 30. Fucking try.” 
He waits for a reply but your interest has already waned. You scroll through your phone, bored once more.
Seokjin makes a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat at the clear dismissal. You swear you hear him grumble under his breath - something along the lines of never going blonde again - but can’t find it in you to care, not when he’s finally ceased his nagging.
"Filming in twenty!" someone shouts from outside the door.
"They’re running behind schedule," Seokjin notes after glancing down at his gold wristwatch. "How can they take more than an hour to fix the lighting? Tch. Bunch of fuckin’ amateurs."
He aims a glare in your direction as if their incompetence is somehow your fault. 
You have half a mind to glower back but miraculously withhold your sentiments. Admittedly, he isn’t wrong - the team you’re working with today keeps committing blunders even rookies wouldn’t dare perpetrate - but you’d rather get your driving license revoked forever than to acknowledge that Seokjin’s right and inflate his already unnaturally huge ego.
Something heavy plops into your lap. When you look down, the glossy surface of a magazine reflects the harsh lights suspended over the vanity table back at you.
“I didn’t want to resort to this but you leave me no choice,” he says in response to your look of confusion.
“What’s this?”
You hold up the magazine expecting the worst. It’s heavy in your hands, the pages thicker than the gossip rags you’d find in a dentist’s waiting room. 
“’s the newest issue. Came out this morning. I’d actually like it back once you’re done because I haven’t finished reading it and God knows how hard it was to get my—hey, you can stop flicking aimlessly, I saved you the trouble and bookmarked the page,” Seokjin explains a bit impatiently.
When you shoot him a glance, his attention is trained on your face, not the magazine. He barely blinks. Like a snake honing in on its prey. And that kind of intense focus - that can’t be good. After all, you’ve known Seokjin long enough to suspect that whatever trick he has up his sleeve will give him the advantage he needs to deliver the killing blow.
Gingerly, you flip through the pages like you’re afraid the magazine might self-destruct in your hands. Which would be a waste, in your opinion, since Exquis is a damn good magazine - perhaps less intellectual than Playboy, but definitely classier than Hustler. Its reputation speaks for itself. Known for hiring the best photographers and carefully combing through their models, it’s selective, only picking the cream of the cr—
Everything around you stills.
Your eyes narrow at the spread because there, on the page Seokjin’s taken great care to bookmark, a model poses provocatively on a lounge chaise near a crystal clear pool. It’s similar to a shoot you’ve done in the past but you can tell right away that the quality of this is above and beyond anything you’ve ever done. The lighting is better, heck even the barely-there-swimsuit looks like it costs ten times more than whatever you had been told to throw on at the time.
The vexation you feel only worsens once it finally registers who the model is. Her youthful and pretty face carries a permanent haughtiness that not even makeup or acting can entirely mask.
The pages crease in your hold as you flick through the rest of the spread dedicated to the up and coming talents. With every new page that has her plastered on its glossy surface you feel your stomach sink. 
2...3...4...
“Five pages,” you curse under your breath. For a magazine this renowned, it’s...a lot. Commendable, even. Your nose crinkles. “Well, fuck. me. sideways.”
Seokjin gloats, reveling in your outrage. “Hmph. I told you, didn’t I? Passing up the opportunity to work with Kim Namjoon would come and bite you in the ass.”
“Aha! So you have been a little bitch because I refused to shoot with Namjoon.” You whirl around in your chair and use the magazine to jab him in the chest. He easily steps aside, avoiding your attempt at wrinkling his trademark Armani button-down shirt.
“It was the chance of a lifetime and you knew it.” He turns his nose up and sniffs.
“That’s what you said about filming with Min Yoongi last month.” You roll your eyes. “I can’t take you seriously if you’re gonna say the same thing every time a new guy shows up.”
“Shooting with Agust D did help you gain some mainstream popularity. You’ve gotten love calls for catalog printings and your name is now automatically on the invite sheet for every C-list event in town. Namjoon would have given you another needed boost.” Seokjin folds his arms, lecturing mode switched on. You struggle with the instinctive urge to tune him out. “Sure, he’s got a niche audience, but he’s famous in his field and it would have helped expand your fa—“
“Not to kink shame or anything because we don’t do that, but Namjoon is a freak. And don’t deny it, I’ve seen his videos.”
“He’s specialized in particular—“
“You were the one telling me not to film all sorts of shit right off the bat,” you cut in, refusing to back down from your stance. There’s no way you’ll let him sweet-talk you out of this one, not after the multiple videos of Namjoon you’d binged one weekend. “Stick to one story.”
“Well, we’re not exactly ‘right off the bat’ anymore, are we? We’ve passed that stage. Right now is a crucial time in your career so you’ve got to make it count. Filming rehashed videos of the same pizza delivery guy scenario gets boring and fast. As pretty as you are, you’re not offering anything new to the table, are you?”
Fuck him. He’s right and you know it. Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman.
Still. “I refuse to work with a guy whose porn alias is Cock Monster.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers.”
“Well I said no,” you insist stubbornly.
“Well if you had said yes, maybe it would be your ass cheeks getting their own two page spread in Exquis instead,” jabs Seokjin, hitting you where it hurts. 
Ugh. The reminder that Joy’s bested you yet again riles you up even more. That, coupled with the likelihood of your career ending imminently, makes you stop and think.
Your agent goes on to say, “Don’t you want the AVN for best newcomer? Where did that competitive edge go? At the rate this is going, Joy’s going to steal it from right under your nose.”
“Like fucking hell,” you hiss. The magazine bends under the strength of your grip. “That one’s mine.”
You absolutely refuse to lose out to her. Every fiber of your being rejects the idea of letting her one-up you again.
“Not if you don’t start branching out. The last time you did anything substantial or interesting was about a month ago. It’s already old news. People are going to forget you shot that sequence altogether if you don’t do anything that puts you back on the map.”
A pause. “…I really don’t want to film with someone who willingly named himself Cock Mons—”
“Fine.” Seokjin heaves a resigned sigh. “You don’t have to fuck the monster willy. Willy monster? Hm. Wouldn’t it make more sense to name himself Monster Cock and not Cock Monster? Wonder why he does th—”
You suppress a snort. “Please spare me while you can. It’s amazing, that talent for making everything sound a lot worse than it already it is.”
“Why, thank you.”
“It wasn’t a compliment.”
“You trying to insult someone who’s willing to find you someone else to work with? I can always ask Monster Meatstick if he’s up for—”
“No! No, that’s - not necessary.” You force out a smile that wouldn’t fool anyone into thinking its genuine. “Why would I ever insult you? You’re the best agent one could ask for.”
“That’s what I thought.” He takes your compliment, forced or not. When he smiles, smugness rolls off of him in waves. “One day you’ll realize you’re taking my talent for granted. I’ll find you another onscreen partner even though you don’t know what you’re missing out.”
“Thank you.”
“But!” He interjects and this time you don’t bother swallowing down your groan, already dreading the stipulations he has in store for you. “You have to promise to hold up your end of the bargain and try your best.”
Indignation colors your face. Your mouth falls open, retort at the ready. “When do I ever slack off on the job?! I’ve never given a half-assed blowjob in my life - and trust me, the temptation was there. Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay focused when the guy can’t cum on command? I once had to get my jaw realigned.”
“I’m not saying you’re slacking off,” he backtracks, switching tactics. His expression is soon replaced by the business-like smile you’re used to seeing on the regular. Tone buttery and appeasing, he tries to convince you through flattery instead. “You work hard and do a good job… I wouldn’t have signed you on otherwise. The problem isn’t with the quality of your work but with - all the rest.”
“The rest?” you parrot back dumbly, trying and failing to comprehend.
Seokjin scowl returns, unable to keep his genuine emotions under wraps.
“D’you honestly think you’re at a point in your career where you can pick and choose your jobs like this? Ever since you started dating that - that thing - your workload has significantly decreased. And not because you lacked opportunities. You had them but you turned them all down.” Visibly getting worked up over the issue, his voice rises an octave, then two. “What should’ve been a good spring board, only brought you back to square one. I know I can’t force you to take jobs if you refuse to, but I can say that your potential is going to waste. I’ve never seen someone sabotage herself like this before and it’s driving me up the wall. While I get that you’re under the delusion that you’ve found true love or whatever Disney fantasy Jungmin has sold you, you can’t turn down projects over and over again without there being serious repercussions. You’re smart enough to know this. I shouldn’t have to remind you.”
Seokjin’s chest heaves as he takes in several big gulps of air, visibly out of breath after his monologue.
For him to explode like popcorn kennels in the microwave... You reckon he’d let his feelings pile up inside him for a while, silently stewing.
You’ve never seen your agent look so visibly distressed. He’s normally the picture-perfect image of composure so the sight that greets you is enough of a shock to render you speechless.
Deep down, Seokjin probably means well. There aren’t a lot of agents like him; you’re one of the lucky ones. Most girls are discarded by their agencies as quickly as used tissues once they get milked for all their worth. 
Thankfully it’s never been that way with Seokjin. He claims that he’s in it for the long run. According to him the quick buck isn’t worth seeing the light die out in girl after girl. Perhaps that’s why he takes the task of ensuring your safety so seriously. How many times has he warned you to steer clear of this or that seedy director or ban you from attending drug-heavy parties? While his behavior can come off as overbearing on the worst days, at least he cares.
Sadly, it’s more than you can say for most.
In a way, he’s the only one in this business rooting for your success—if only because his paycheck depends on how well you perform. You like to pretend there’s more to it than that.
“I’m not - what’s Jimin got to do with any of this?” you splutter, still digesting the long tirade you’ve just been subjected to. 
“Are you serious? That’s all you got from what I said?”
“Well, no, but I still fail to—”
“Do you think me a fool?” He crosses his arms tightly across his broad chest. “The only scenes you’re willing to shoot are when he’s on set. Are you a kid or something? Since when do you need supervision to shoot a sex scene?”
“N-no. It just worked out that way, okay?” In reply to his dubious expression, you force yourself to explain. “Okay, okay - I get it. Maybe I might’ve lessened my workload recently but it has nothing to do with Jimin, alright? My vagina needs rest from time to time. Just because it’s my job doesn’t mean I don’t need a break. I’m human too, not some blow-up doll.”
“You expect me to believe that he has nothing to do with it? You were perfectly fine before he entered the picture. And now that you’re all loved up you only pick—”
A knock, so timid you barely catch it, cuts off the rest of his sentence.
“Yeah? Come in, I’m decent!” you yell - not that you care whether someone sees you naked or not. The concept of modesty has long been lost on you. Some might call it shamelessness or vanity, but you take pride in how you look. And why wouldn’t you? Your body is your bread and butter. You spend hours in the gym every week so that your ass looks good no matter what camera angle.
“It’s me.”
The door opens a crack and the speaker tentatively sticks his mop of hair through the small opening. As soon as you recognize him, your heart leaps at the sight and you quickly tighten your robe together.
“Oh, speak of the devil,” Seokjin mutters under his breath.
You resist the urge to throttle him and plaster on your brightest smile instead.
“I wanted to see how you were doing. Sorry I took so long... I would’ve come earlier but they needed my help.” Jimin scratches a spot behind his ear, sheepish. “Someone tripped over the cables and smashed a camera lens so we had to find a replacement. The director threw a fit and wanted to call it quits so we’ve been trying to calm him down this entire time. He did - eventually, anyway, after he called his dealer on set.”
A disapproving frown tugs at his mouth corners and mars his otherwise perfect appearance.
You take a moment to swoon internally. You’ll never get tired of admiring your boyfriend. Unlike the majority of the on-set personnel, he doesn’t reek of weed or booze or stale cigarette smoke. His ironed clothes and immaculate appearance always make it easy to spot him amidst the hungover crew.
“That’s fine! I kept myself busy.”
Jimin returns your smile, his eyes creasing into beautiful half-moon crescents. You don’t know what kind of love-struck expression covers your face but next to you Seokjin makes a noise that sounds like a cross between a gag and a cough.
“Oh! Here, I brought snacks. I didn’t know what you liked so I just grabbed everything I could get my hands on.” He holds up a paper plate stacked with treats no doubt stolen from the catering service. “I know I kind of went overboard but I wanted to make sure you kept your sugar level up.”
“That’s sweet of you,” you coo, reaching to take the plate from him. He’s piled on the sweets so high that it’s a miracle nothing has toppled over yet. You aren’t especially hungry but take a bite out of a chocolate candy to show how much you appreciate the effort. Its gooey consistency melts on your tongue, the taste so sweet it sticks to your teeth.
“How adorable,” chimes in Seokjin, his hand grabbing a licorice stick from the mountain of candy before you can swat him away. “Thanks Jongmin.”
“Jimin,” he corrects good-naturedly, his smile not budging an inch. You think, privately, that’s what you like the most about him. Not many have the ability to block out Seokjin’s bullshit so effectively.
“Mmh,” your manager says around a mouthful of candy. “Seokjin. Pleasure.”
You elbow him while gritting your teeth. “Can you...give us a moment?”
Seokjin swallows down the treat and opens his mouth in protest. He has the audacity to look betrayed. “You’re kicking me out of our room so the two of you can get it on? Really?” 
Jimin’s cheeks flush and you quickly cut in before your agent can make matters worse.
"I just want to talk without you breathing down my neck. Weren’t you going off earlier about how I didn’t need adult supervision anymore? Well?”
“Fine. Fine! But you owe me. Again.” He grabs his portable phone charger from the vanity table before making his exit. “And don’t forget what we talked about!”
What a fucking drama queen. You have no idea why he always insists on making a scene when you know for a fact that he would’ve left of his own volition in five minutes anyway. For reasons he has no trouble disclosing, he can’t stand Jimin’s presence.
“I won’t,” you grumble just so that you can get him out of your hair faster.
The door slams shut with more force than strictly necessary. Silence hangs in the air for a brief moment before Jimin turns his warm gaze towards you.
“What was that about?” 
“Uh, nothing. You know how he is...” You play with the ends of your braided hair. “He can’t go very long without throwing a tantrum.’
“He seems very protective of you,” remarks Jimin, a thoughtful expression painting his angelic face. “I think that’s why he’s not that fond of me.”
“Nonsense,” you rebut immediately as you take his hands in yours. “Who could ever not like you?”
Jimin allows his lips to quirk into a small, self-deprecating smile that you promptly erase with a kiss. His lips feel pillow-soft against yours, and you let yoruself indulge in the feeling before pulling back.
You sigh, remembering the scene you’ve yet to film. “If only my co-star was you.”
He laughs at that. “Seokjin would probably throw a fit, huh?”
.
.
Jimin treats you to dinner that night.
He chooses the restaurant. It’s a small, quaint place, tucked into a hidden corner just minutes away from the bustling main street of the shopping district. It’s not the kind of place people stumble across by accident but judging by the occupied tables, business is doing fine by reputation alone.
The owner comes out to greet Jimin by name. They exchange warm greetings, the woman asking him how his brother’s been doing and whether he’ll stop by anytime soon.
“Ah - I’m not sure... You know how he is... I’ll let him know you said hi.”
“Tell him I’ll give him an extra serving of ribs. That was his favorite, right?”
When her eyes trail over Jimin’s shoulder and spot you, she grins so wide you’d think she won the lottery or something. “Park Jimin! You’ve gone and found a girlfriend! And so pretty, too. Ah, really...time sure flies by. I remember when you first started coming here - and now!”
You smile back, greeting her with a polite handshake. The owner is quick to usher you into a small booth in the back. She hands you the menus while patting Jimin on his shoulder. “I’ll get you drinks. It’s on the house.”
“You don’t have to do that!” protests Jimin, shaking his head. “Really. It’s not—”
“Nonsense.” She waves a hand at him. “You’ll get two more if you keep that up, Park Jimin.”
Once she knows she’s earned Jimin’s compliance, she leaves with a satisfied smile. You can tell by their genuine interactions that she’s close to Jimin. Family, perhaps? Either way, this isn’t a place Jimin tracked down on yelp. He flips through the menu with ease, like he’s done it hundreds of times before. 
“Sorry about that,” he says once she’s out of earshot. “I used to come here all the time with my family when we all still lived here. They moved and live in a different town now so we haven’t had a meal together here in years, but. I still come here. The food is good, of course, but - I dunno. I have good memories here so I thought I’d share it with you. It sounds stupid now.”
He laughs quietly, cheeks flushed a pretty pink. 
“I love it.” You can’t help but smile, cheeks hurting from the force of it. Invisible liquor runs through your bloodstream, a ball of warmth unfurling in your belly. “Thank you.”
A pause ensues. It’s one of those moments in which you’re unsure if you’ve said too much or not enough. Being here with Jimin means a lot. You’re not the most verbose person but you hope that Jimin can feel your sincerity.
Maybe your stare comes off as too intense because Jimin breaks the eye contact and clears his throat.
He fiddles with his earring and says, “The food is really good!”
Pink dots his cheeks as he attempts to change the subject. “I don’t know how long the place has been around for but the food is exactly the same. Apparently it’s the sauce they use? Auntie still won’t share the recipes with me and I’ve known her since I was a kid.”
He chatters on, gaining confidence when he notices you’re not put off or bored by his numerous anecdotes. As time passes by, he’s visibly more relaxed. His laugh is more natural, less restrained, like he’s using all the muscles in his face and not just the ones near his mouth.
It’s a stark difference from the first date, you think. Back then he had come off as quite shy, preferring to let you lead the conversation, only offering up tidbits from time to time. Now the conversation flows easily. Nothing feels forced or awkward and - it’s nice. The normalcy of it. Like a hot cup of tea before bed or the scent of the fabric softener your mother uses. It’s something you find comfort in, that you can see yourself coming back to and not growing tired of.
Seokjin can say what he wants - that Jimin’s too uninteresting, that you’re too mismatched of a couple - whatever. 
Jimin likes you for you.
When you’re out on dates or when the two of you talk on the phone late into the evening, he rarely brings up your job. Instead, he asks you questions about your favorite TV shows, your dipping sauce preferences, the first album you purchased. These small details might seem inconsequential to others but to you, they’re a welcome breath of fresh air.
For all the talks of Jimin being too average and too normal, men like him are in reality surprisingly hard to come by.
Because what you haven’t failed to notice since you began your career as a porn star is that people love the idea of you. People who avidly watch you from their laptop screen in the comfort of their own home think that you’re some type of sex goddess - that you’re basically up for anything. In their minds, you’re a fun girl who loves sex, all kinds of sex, any kind of sex, and who doesn’t have any qualities or attributes other than making people cum until their limbs go numb.
Your feelings? Not really important. Feelings would make you human and being human would ruin their favorite fantasy.
That’s what takes you a while to learn - you don’t get paid to have sex, you get paid to sell dreams.
It doesn’t bother you at first. In a way, you think, it’s like acting. The porn star people jerk off to daily is a character you play, a mask you can take off at your leisure once the camera director yells ‘cut!’.
Very quickly, you learn people don’t share the same sentiment. To them, the line that distinguishes you from your job persona isn’t blurry - it simply doesn’t exist.
In the beginning, you’d stayed optimistic. Once people get to know you past the image they’ve built up in their heads, surely they’ll realize you’re not a sex-craved addict who only has dick on the brain, right? But with every new date you accept to go on, the reality of your situation only leaves room for disappointment and barely reigned in revulsion.
Even in non-romantic situations, people let you down. Old classmates, neighbors... It pisses you off that they assume you have no self-worth just because you’re a sex worker. Stevie from 308 down the hall once tried throwing crumpled bills at you, expecting you to crawl over to him for a fifty. The memory is enough to set your blood boiling. You can’t wait until you earn big enough bucks to move out of your shitty apartment into a nice high-rise penthouse, away and above all the scum of the Earth.
“You okay?” asks Jimin, noticing the crease that burrows your brow. “The food alright?”
You blink several times, belatedly realizing you had zoned out. Guilt and embarrassment well up within you.
“M’yeah,” you swallow down the spoonful of stew stuffed in your mouth. “Sorry.”
Jimin chews his bottom lip. Finally, he settles with, “Tell me if I’m boring you.”
“No, no! You’re not.” His evident doubt does nothing to alleviate the sudden nausea swarming your lower belly. “I’m serious, Jimin. I’m - Sorry if I gave off that impression. I just - I have a lot on my mind but you’re lovely. I’d tell you if you were - you know. Promise.”
“Would you? Sometimes I think you’re too nice.” It’s not delivered as an insult, but it doesn’t exactly sound like praise, either. 
You force out a snort. “Heh. Wish you’d tell Seokjin that.”
“He’s not too cross with me, is he?” Jimin’s expression looks awkward, like he’s forcing his facial muscles to stay relaxed and mien nonchalant.
“Wh- oh, you mean because of earlier? He isn’t. That’s not him being angry. It’s not even you. It’s me. We just have - a slight difference in opinions, I suppose. If you can even call it that.”
“He doesn’t want you to date me,” concludes Jimin.
The frustrations you’d repressed earlier in the day come back. Why does Seokjin’s opinion matter? You huff, putting your spoon down.
“He’s not my dad. And even if he was, I’m grown. I can make my own decisions.” You roll your eyes. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll get over it... It’s not like it’s any of his business in the first place.”
“Still...” Jimin says, unsure. “He’s your agent. I wouldn’t want the relation between you to sour because of me.”
“Honestly, I’m convinced it’s not even you he has a problem with. We talked about it today and I think he’s getting antsy because, um, you know, I haven’t accepted any big offers lately. Like, I’m staying too much in my comfort zone or something. He says that in the long run that can be detrimental to my career.”
It’s a bit strange, discussing your work with Jimin. You both work in the same industry, Jimin as a second camera assistant and you as an adult entertainer, but outside of filming sets, you rarely acknowledge what the other person does for a living.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. He wants me to branch out and try new things.”
“What, you mean anal? Gangbangs?”
“Um, yeah. All that, probably...” You have to blink several times because of the shock of hearing Jimin say that so casually. “...Is that okay?”
“Huh?” Jimin in turn blinks at you, like your question doesn’t properly register. “Oh, yeah, sure. I’m fine with it. You said it’ll be good for your career?”
“Apparently.”
“Then, yeah.” He shrugs like he isn’t bothered by the news at all. “Of course that’s okay.”
A part of you wants to push the issue, ask him why he’d be fine with his girlfriend filming intense sex scenes with random men, but that inner voice is snuffed out before the poisonous thought has time to take root.
Isn’t this what you always wanted? A boyfriend who is accepting and understanding of your profession?
You wash down your worries with a gulp or two of soju, determined not to let your own insecurities ruin the rest of your night.
.
.
Less than 24 hours after you’ve agreed to work on a worthwhile project of Seokjin’s choosing, a slew of texts blow up your phone. 
Unsurprisingly, it’s your agent. A quick scroll through your phone reveals that your agent has left you with no less than 15 messages, 1 voicemail, and 3 e-mails.
It’s...a lot. You’ve grown to expect that kind of fanfare with him. Like any man who deals with legally binding contracts on a daily basis, Seokjin ensures that you keep your word. He can be extremely persuasive when he sets his mind to it. You’ve seen men and women alike succumb to the force of his magnetism. Back when your filmography had solely consisted of amateur sex tapes shot in bad lighting with low-grade filming equipment, Seokjin's charms alone had been sufficient to win over lukewarm casting directors and book you jobs.
SEOKJIN : hey!!!!!!!!
SEOKJIN : ???
SEOKJIN : wow. you’re leaving me on read.........the audacity. 
SEOKJIN : i raised you on my back and this is how you repay me?
SEOKJIN : do you not respect your elders in your household?
SEOKJIN : i swear if you’re blowing me off for jimmy instead of answering your calls .........
SEOKJIN : or blowing jimmy. either one.
SEOKJIN : ok it’s been 10 min. i’m chill but not that chill.
SEOKJIN : can you please stop sucking dick and read your emails. it’s important.
YOU : ever heard of multitasking? god gave us two hands for a reason
SEOKJIN : oh. nasty.
SEOKJIN : way to ruin my lunch.
SEOKJIN : well. suck down that nut sauce asap
SEOKJIN : cos what i sent you needs your undivided attention
YOU : i’m nasty?? me????
YOU : you don’t hear me saying nUT SAUCE you freak
SEOKJIN : nutté sauce
SEOKJIN : there. fixed it.
YOU : ...that’s not even a thing
SEOKJIN : well it should be!
SEOKJIN : adding accents makes it instantly classier, don’t you think? nutté sauce. has a nice ring to it.
SEOKJIN : honestly. sounds like some fancy four star french starter now.
YOU : ???? it absolutely doesn’t but ok
SEOKJIN : imagine. during a scene you just yell out
SEOKJIN : “i’d like a serving of your nutté sauce to go”
YOU : dicks would shrivel up on the spot
SEOKJIN : what? i think it’s brilliant!
SEOKJIN : my talent is wasted as an agent. should’ve been a scriptwriter instead.
YOU : yes i’m sure the oscars are weeping over the missed opportunity
He takes your sarcasm at face value, feeding you more ridiculous variants of faux french cum lingo—that which you very wisely choose not to reply to. Instead of humoring him, you open the .pdf file he’s sent your way, ignoring the near-constant buzzing of your phone as he’s no doubt pestering you for an immediate answer.
Had it not been necessary for business, you’d have blocked his number ages ago. In fact, after that nut sauce comment you’re seriously reconsidering, business obligations be damned. 
To his credit, the film project he suggests you work on doesn't sound half-bad despite its questionable title. Why anyone would choose to name it THE SPERMINATOR is beyond you.
As you read through the proposition, you’re surprised to find it’s tamer than the initial imaginary scenario you’d played out in your head. Expecting to read through a long list of unnameable kinks and dicks, the scene description is rather domestic all things considered.
Your shoulders sag in relief. You enjoy sex as much as the next person, but even you have limits you’re not willing or eager to cross. You’re a human being, first and foremost, and, contrary to popular belief, not competing in the sex olympics.
From what you’ve read so far, nothing in Seokjin’s offer seems too strenuous or perverse. The scene in question is centered around a young, newly married couple trying to conceive for the first time and the sex acts are described as “romantic insemination” - whatever the fuck that means. The only complication you can think of is that you’ve never played the part of a married couple before. None of your previous films specifically target couples or women. Is romance something you can sell accordingly?
You’re quick to shake the concern off once you remember that no one cares if your acting is shit or not. All you probably have to do is yell out ‘Daddy’ a few times mid-thrust and call it a day.
Honestly, you’re a bit disappointed in Seokjin for choosing such a safe, no-risk project - especially since he constantly advocates the risk-return trade off as the way to live by. But you’re not about to start complaining. You’d rather shoot this type of innocuous scenario than ridiculous, hentai-like scenes involving freakish get-ups and toys of monster proportions not realistically made to fit in a vagina.
The deal is perfect. Almost too perfect.
Subconsciously, you must realize something is wrong. Maybe Seokjin’s many lessons have finally rubbed off on you because there’s a persistent voice in your ear warning you that the film proposition is a trap, one that you’ve unfortunately walked straight into.
Your wariness increases when he refuses to send you the script upon request. Alarm bells ring off but by then it’s too late.
“The thing is... Director Ryu wants to try a new type of project," Seokjin says over the phone once you call him up for answers. "He thinks he’s going to pioneer a new genre of porn and revolutionize the industry - his words, not mine.”
“What the hell does that even mean?”
“How do I explain this without you getting the wrong idea..."
“Is this meant to reassure me?!” Dread drips from your tone. You should’ve suspected something was off from the very moment Seokjin suggested to shoot vanilla porn as your next big project. What a joke.
“Calm down, it's not as bad as - whatever you're thinking.” Too bad that his attempts to calm you down have the opposite effect. “He’s been wanting to try out a new improvisation format for his porn movies.”
“Come again?”
A beat of uncomfortable quiet passes. Reluctantly, Seokjin explains, “Which means - there isn’t an actual script to go off of. That’s why I couldn’t send it to you - because there is none. He wants it to be as realistic and natural as possible so he’s looking for actors who can go with their gut and create their own scenario instead of ones who need to be directed.”
Your resounding silence speaks for itself.
Sure, sometimes they provide scripts to act as guidelines, roughly giving the actor an idea of how the scene will unfold, but no one is expected to follow it word for word. Most porn films rely on improvisation rather than scripts because of how notoriously bad porn stars are at acting and memorizing more than a few lines at a time, and the introduction scene never lasts very long anyway for it to make a noticeable difference. Besides, after filming a handful of movies, you’ve noticed the dialogue is more or less all the same.
What bothers you is that this director wants you to carry out a movie that relies heavily on improvised dialogue. Convincingly.
“C’mon,” Seokjin tries when you refuse to deign him with an answer. “It’ll be fun. You like acting, right?”
“Seokjin...” You pinch the bridge of your nose and try to keep your composure in check. “How do I break this down for you? I think you’re forgetting the most crucial detail here - I can’t act! The closest I've ever gotten to acting is faking an orgasm and I’m pretty certain that doesn’t count."
“And you do that very well!" says Seokjin encouragingly. "You'll be fine. Don’t stress over it. Your scenes with Min Yoongi last time were perfectly acceptable!”
“That’s the thing.” Stress makes your voice raise a half-step. “He did, like, 90% of the acting! Back then, all I had to do was moan and act like a slut! Which hardly counts - I was being myself. Whatever this - thing - you’re attempting to rope me into - I’m not qualified for it.”
“Sweetheart, we’re not aiming for the fucking Oscars here.” When he laughs, it’s practiced enough to sound sincere. “At the end of the day, it’s still porn. Nobody’s expecting you to be the next Meryl. And besides,” he presses on, clearly refusing to change his mind. “This is exactly what you need right now. Something fresh, something new. If you pull this off, you’ll gain exposure.”
“If I pull it off. Big if."
“I know it sounds like a gamble. I get it, I do. But remember what I always say? High risk—”
“Yes, yes. High reward. I get it.” Your frown deepens. “There’s no way to know this will work, though.”
“A good co-star already guarantees you half of the success. And luckily for you, the guy they signed on seems like the real deal. He’s hot, you’re hot. People will pay money to see you two fuck regardless of how good or bad the acting is.”
“Well. That’s reassuring,” you say, voice as flat as a board. “Although I suppose watching porn on mute is always an option if it comes to that.”
“It was a joke!” What worries you is that it doesn’t sound like it is. “You have nothing to worry about. I’ve seen some of your co-star’s tapes. He’s got a mouth on him, if you know what I mean. Just let him lead and it’ll go swimmingly.”
“It’s one thing to follow someone’s lead during sex but you want me to - to improvise for God knows how long! That’s just asking for a disaster to happen.”
“You said you were up for a challenge!” Seokjin throws your words back at you, his tone accusing.
“And you said this would be beneficial for my career! How is making a fool out of myself going to help me any? I don’t want to be remembered as the girl who can’t act to save her life.” You want to cry in frustration. If you had wanted to act you would’ve chosen that as your major in college. “I don’t - I can’t do this. I’m not - this isn’t what I signed up for! How do you expect me to convince viewers what they’re watching is real...”
“Just—” Exasperated, he takes a deep breath. Exhales. “Trust me. When have I ever been wrong about film projects.”
Is putting your career at risk really worth it? You’re not sure anymore.
On the bright side, it’ll finally get Seokjin off your back, you reason, trying to remain positive. That in itself is worth celebrating, right?
Fine. You’ll agree to it out of pettiness. Once Seokjin realizes what a terrible idea this entire ordeal is, you won’t hesitate to rub it back in his face. He’ll never hear the end of it.
"Who am I working with, anyway?”
"Ah, hm, well." Hesitation creeps up his voice for the first time, putting you instantly on edge. "...You won't know him. He's new to the scene - got started a month or two ago, I forget."
"Great. Not only am I being used as a lab rat for this director to experiment on but you're also pairing me with a fucking rookie. Jesus.”
"He’s not half bad! He’s not bad at all, actually. I wouldn't be insisting if I didn't trust him not to blow his load early."
"Aren’t I lucky,” you deadpan. “So I don't have to worry about him busting a nut before the director gives the signal?"
“All you’ll have to do is act like a married couple with baby fever,” he talks over you, ignoring your overflowing sarcasm. “And how hard can that be? You’ve been loved up with Jumin for a month now - that’s plenty enough practice if you ask me. I know you’ll be able to sell that romantic shit to the public without too much trouble.”
“It’s Jimin,” you correct from force of habit.
You’re promptly ignored — not that you expected anything less from him.
"Just give it a thought? And get back to me when you make up your mind. The sooner the better. The offer won't stay on the table forever." Even over the line, you can picture Seokjin raising his eyebrows at you, expectant. “If you’re serious about this job, you know what you have to do.”
You both know that you’ll accept the offer. Seokjin’s got you all figured out. As much as you don’t like being pushed around, the need to prove yourself is your main driving factor. The acquaintances who sneer at you, the family members who’ve shun you, the peers who expect you to burn out after the five month mark—you’d rather roll over and die than prove their misconceptions right.
It’s a matter of pride when you sniff and reply, “I’ll think about it.”
But the decision is already made before the call ends.
.
.
SCENE 02 - THE SPERMINATOR. TAKE 02. ROLL B. 
.
Eight days later you find yourself squeezed into a brazenly short dress that zips in the front, more fit for a night out in a club than a dinner at home. It’s so ridiculously tight, you feel like a prey being swallowed down by a snake. There’s no room to breathe. You can’t wait for the scene to start, if only so you can dispose of the piece of fabric and never wear it again.
Unfortunately, your outfit gets worse because thrown over the clubbing attire is a frilly apron with small hearts embroidered along the hem. The mismatch is jarring. You’re not sure what look the stylist is going for but the end result is very...peculiar.
You comfort yourself with the knowledge that it could always be worse.
A quick glance at the digital clock on your phone confirms that you’re running on time. Good. After your last gig, the last thing you want is to spend hours waiting for the personnel to set up the cameras and sound equipment correctly.
Thankfully, today’s team works like a well-oiled machine. All that’s left are the last-minute preparations before the shoot begins.
Your false eyelashes are still drying when Seokjin elbows you sharply in the ribs. You crack open an eye to glare at him. “Ouch - ah, seriously? What is it now?”
“That’s him, that’s him!” Seokjin whispers under his breath, his gaze glued to a point somewhere beyond your shoulder. “Wooow. Aren’t you a lucky bitch? I’d gargle his nutté sauce for breakfast, if you get what I mean. He looks way better in person, damn.”
“Firstly - please never say that out loud again.” You fake a gag. “How do I buy myself a new set of ears?”
Seokjin ignores your dramatics. He shoots you a look. “You let that last guy draw a starfish on your face with his crème de la nut but did you hear me go sick?”
“That��s not the same and you know it!” Your jaw drops in indignation. “And can you stop trying to make nut cream a thing for the love of—”
“What’s this about nut cream?”
You whip your head around, mortification already etched onto your features. Your mouth opens, defense at the ready, only for your throat to clamp up.
“Oh.” You blink up in surprise because - well, Seokjin’s earlier assessment isn’t embellished. The guy is fit as fuck.
You’d seen photos in passing, had even googled his name out of curiosity, but the two-dimensional version of him pales to his real life physique. There’s a sharpness to his features that the camera fails to pick up on, a vibrancy that gets lost in the medium. 
“Hey. I’m Hoseok.” His grip is firm, assertive, and your eyes naturally wander over his form. The loose muscle tee he’s thrown on puts his toned arms on display and makes it easier to admire the seemingly endless expanse of sun-kissed skin. He’s neither too thick nor too spindly, his muscles lean and firm instead of bulging. Strong but not intimidating. “I look forward to working with you.”
“Likewise.” You swallow, mouth dry.
You expect him to leave it at that like most of your past co-stars usually do. Or worse - for him to abandon all pretenses and cross lines that aren’t meant to be crossed. As someone who has experienced it all - from standoffish to creepy and vile - nothing surprises you anymore.
But unlike your, admittedly low, expectations, his gaze is warm and friendly. He speaks smoothly, leaving no time for an awkward silence to instill itself.
“Yeah, I know who you are! I saw a video or two of yours before - you were featured on the agency’s main page last month, right? Fuckin’ genius, by the way. Best stuff I’ve seen in a long ass time.” An easy grin sits on his face, nothing about it fake or contrived. “I hope we get along today. I haven’t done much work myself - yet anyway - but I hope this can be a good experience for the both of us.”
“You’ll be in good hands,” Seokjin assures, patting your shoulder like a proud parent. “_____ here is the best talent I’ve signed on.”
“That I can believe,” Hoseok chimes, his smile never waning. “I’ve heard good stuff about you. I won’t lie - it reassured me a fuck ton when I heard I’d be working with you. The stuff we’re doing is, well, it’s a bit of a gamble at this point, but I’m sure it’ll go well because I’ll be working with you.”
For a brief, embarrassing moment, you’re robbed of words, unable to respond to his flattery. From experience, you know to be wary of guys like him. Whenever someone lays it on thick they always have an ulterior motive. But what could possibly be his?
“Seokjin’s saying that because I’m the only one who can stand his nagging,” you finally say, your shoulders stiff. Maybe it’s because you’ve just met, but it’s hard to figure him out and it doesn’t help that you’re naturally wary of strangers.
“Oh hush. You love me.” Sensing how guarded you’ve become, Seokjin mercifully offers you an out. “It was nice meeting you, Hoseok. Wish we could stay and chat but she has to get ready to film the pre-interview portion.”
“Oh yeah, that’s cool. Catch you later.”
You offer a quick smile he returns tenfold, its brightness momentarily dazzling you.
Slightly dazed from the intensity of it, you stagger behind Seokjin, sun spots dotting your vision. Your surroundings blur together as your mind tries to recover from the interaction.
“Sooooooooo?” Seokjin sing-songs once you’ve walked far enough to be out of earshot. His brows are raised knowingly, an infuriating type of smugness clinging to his features. “What did I tell you! He’s hot enough to single-highhandedly melt a glacier, huh?”
You scoff, not willing to admit anything. “He’s okay.”
“Oh c’mon. He’s baby daddy material for sure. Which works out well for you since he’s gonna pump one into you later.”
For once the grimace that crosses your face isn’t exaggerated. “Please. Stop. Talking. I’m this close to heaving out my lunch.”
You’re not even joking with that one. Attractive as Hoseok may be, any talk of baby-making is enough to dissipate any smidgens of lust.
The reminder of what the upcoming scene entails and the expectations people carry crash down on you like a pile of bricks. Although you’ve done your best to ignore the fact you’ll be acting today, the meeting with Hoseok yanks you harshly back to reality.
You’re going to act. As a married couple. Trying to conceive a baby.
Three things that have never, ever been on your bucket list are now about to be crossed out in the span of the same afternoon. To that you can only say - what the fuck is my life.
Like a mounting wave before the inevitable crash, panic crests within you. You feel it gradually build and build, flooding your lungs and every crevice of your body with overwhelming anxiety.
Seokjin sighs. “How are you going to make it through today? The whole point of the sex scene is to get you pregnant. Or fake pregnant. You know what I mean.”
“Um...” You try to laugh but it comes out shaky. Seokjin shoots you a concerned look. “I’ll be fine! Really! I can do it. It’s just acting like you said, right? It’s not like he’s actually gonna knock me up in real life. So. Totally fine. It’s fine. Perfect.”
Seokjin’s concern grows. His eyebrows pinch together and his expression turns serious. He asks with no trace of mockery, “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay!” you reply. It’s too rushed of an answer to convince him. Your palms feel clammy and you wipe them off your damned apron. “Just. Nervous. Y’know.”
His steps slow to a halt and he places a warm, heavy hand on your shoulder. The weight, familiar and comforting, grounds you to reality. “Hey. What’s there to be nervous about? You got this.”
“Yeah.” You nod. Maybe if you say it enough times you’ll trick yourself into believing it. “I’ve got this.”
“Look. Let me be honest for a second. I’ve been an agent for eight years now and I’ve seen a lot of talents come and go. No pun intended.” You smile back at him weakly. “You’ve got something...extra a lot of them lacked. I knew the moment I saw you on film you’d go far. The energy you bring onscreen is insane. I know today might seem new and strange - but so was your first ever professionally shot film, right? And you got through that fine. You’ll do great. I know it. And, not to toot my own horn, but I’m always right.”
That earns him a laugh. The nerves are still there but thanks to his pep talk it’s easier to breathe.
Despite being a big pain in the ass, Seokjin is exemplary at his job. Without him, you’re acutely aware you wouldn’t have gotten half as far as you have. Having him by your side is a reassurance in itself.
Someone calls your name, pulling you from your thoughts. When you turn around, you’re face to face with the round, bespectacled face of Director Ryu. You reckon he’s in his early forties but he acts younger than his age. It’s your first time working with him but so far he’s been nice enough, if a little full of himself. Not that you’re unaccustomed with working alongside conceited colleagues.
“Oh good, you’re back. You can get seated for the interview bit.” He points over to a chair placed in front of a pale yellow wall. From close up, you can see a paint job is in order, the old coat chipping off in several places. “Alright, this won’t last long - just need you to answer some questions on tape and we’ll be good to go.”
“Sure thing.” You nod and follow his directions, sitting still while the hair and make-up artist steps up to give your lips a final touch-up.
Strictly speaking, the before and after interviews aren’t a necessity. In your experience, directors mostly film the short question-and-answer sequence when you’re set to film hardcore sex scenes as a way to show viewers everything is consensual and that you thoroughly enjoyed the experience despite whatever might have transpired on screen.
You reckon the director wants to film you today to document the process behind his “groundbreaking film project”. Cue roll of eyes.
Somebody needs to tell him he isn’t inventing anything, you think while watching him fiddle with the camera until he’s completely satisfied with the angle. All he’s done so far is add unnecessary pressure on you. You hope Hoseok is faring better because the amount of performance anxiety you’re experiencing is an instant boner killer.
“You nervous?” the director asks once he’s done adjusting the camera lens.
While by some standards you’re still considered a newbie in the industry, you’ve done this enough times to fall into a routine. Wake-up, breakfast, get ready, arrive before call time, fill out all the paperwork and get ready to shoot your solo stills. It’s familiar enough that you’ve long stopped getting pre-performance jitters.
Today’s rush of anxiety is as surprising as it is unwelcome. They don’t want to hear that particular truth though, so you keep your reply sweet and bubbly.
“Nah,” you grin, wide and easy. “I’m super excited to film today!”
“Oh yeah? Is it perhaps because of your co-star?”
Your smile freezes for a second. Somewhere over the director’s shoulder you can see Seokjin nodding enthusiastically while giving you the double thumbs up. “Hoseok? He’s hot, sure.”
“Ooh. Already on a first name basis?”
“Hm?” you let out a noise of polite confusion, only belatedly realizing that his viewers know him better as his porn alias, J-Hope. But there’s no way in hell you’re going to yell that out loud while he’s fucking an orgasm out of you. Not only does it sound ridiculous but it’ll shatter whatever carefully crafted illusion you manage to build. “Um, yes. We’re getting to know each other. He’s very friendly.”
“I’m sure he is.” And there’s an implication there that doesn’t sit too well with you but thankfully Director Ryu chooses to move on and put that particular subject to rest.
“You ever shoot an insemination scene before?”
“Not yet.” You make sure to keep the smile on your face even if your cheeks are beginning to hurt. “I can’t wait to get to it. It’s a fantasy I’ve always had but never tried out for myself. I’m excited to film a first on camera!”
The director has yet to call you out for your bullshit so you slowly start to relax. Acting is a bit like lying, isn’t it? Maybe you can get through today after all.
You breeze through the rest of the questions, forcing out practiced laughs here and there all whilst keeping your voice syrupy sweet. It’s quick work, especially when you know what to expect. Before you know it, it’s already time to film the pièce de résistance. Everyone that’s allowed on set during filming filters into the kitchen, conversations between crew members dying down as they use their last recreational moments to check their phones.
The director’s filming style exempts you from shooting the customary pre-shoot sex stills which are essentially promotional pictures of you and and your partner in every sex position that you’ll be filming for real later on. You’re thankful for that, at least. Even with all of your on-camera experience, staying perfectly silent and still with someone’s dick inside you is no easy feat. It’s worse when you have to keep eye contact with your co-star and fake sexual gratification because the shot calls for it.
Hoseok waves at you from the other side of the room, the hair and makeup artist dusting some powder across the slope of his nose.
How can he look so relaxed?! You’re barely holding your lunch down. Honestly, it’s a miracle you’re able to now tat the butterflies are back in full force, making a mess of your stomach.
You feel queasy but try not to make it too obvious even as Seokjin comes around to check up on you. The last thing you want to do is make a scene, especially when your onscreen counterpart's demeanor is making you look amateurish in comparison.
Maybe Hoseok is a better actor than you’re able to give most porn stars credit for because try as you might, you fail to detect any nervous undercurrent in his tone. For someone who is supposedly starring in his first major project, he doesn’t seem all too bothered about how it might play out.
How does he do it?! In all honesty, if Seokjin hadn’t informed you of his rookie status, you would be none the wiser.
There’s an ease with which he carries himself, a fluidity in his movements that belies no anxiety or awkwardness. Even from this distance you can tell that there’s never a hint of hesitation in his movements or speech; he doesn’t seem self-conscious in the least. He talks and moves with the assurance of someone who has been in the industry for months, not weeks.
In that moment you envy him. You’re so nervous about the upcoming scene that it’s hard to feign an air of professional detachment.
His boisterous laugh is loud enough to carry across the room and interrupt your line of thought. When you look over at him again, you find him folded in half, hands clutching his sides, and wearing a grin so bright it eclipses the entirety of his face.
“He seems nice.”
You jump, startled by Jimin’s sudden appearance. You hadn’t even heard him draw near. With a sheepish expression, you turn to look up at him only to find him already staring off into the distance. There’s a strange look painting his face, and a small crease in his brow that usually isn’t present. When you follow his line of sight, you’re met with the image of Hoseok talking animatedly to the the small crowd that’s flocked around him.
“Yeah.” You aren’t sure what else to say. Although there’s no sarcasm attached to his words, you can’t help but find Jimin unnaturally tense.
Which makes sense, you concede guiltily. A mere stranger is minutes away from dicking down his girlfriend. You’re not sure how you’d feel if you were to stand in his shoes.
You breathe in deep, silently willing away the knot of distress in your belly. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. It’s just a job. A profession that Jimin has always been fully aware of, even before you’d begun dating.
Even as you remind yourself of the facts, it does little to dispel the lingering feelings of doubt and guilt.
“Hey.” Jimin frowns at you in concern. “You alright?”
“Yep!” you say then immediately sigh, knowing that lying to your boyfriend is pointless. “I’m just a bit nervous.”
“Nervous?” Jimin’s worry grows, the crease in his brow deepening. “What about?”
“Just—” You gesture around with your hands. “All of this.”
“Oh.” He looks genuinely surprised. “But you don’t usually get nervous... Is it the impregnation thing you’ll have to do? I know you’ve said you’re not a big fan of that. Or... Is it something else?”
“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully. It’s a bit of everything yet at the same time nothing you can clearly pinpoint and put a finger on. In all logic, you know that you’re feeling disproportionately stressed out but you can’t stop yourself from feeling how you feel. “It’s not that I don’t want to film. I just - I’m worried I won’t do well.”
Jimin takes your hand between his, running a thumb in soothing circles across the surface of your skin. He repeats the motion several times until your heartbeat is completely synced to his touch.
“You’ll do great. You always do.” The lines of his mouth bend into a smile. “I’ll be on the sidelines cheering you on.”
“My very own cheerleader.” You allow yourself to relax and and smile back fondly.
As much as you worry about Jimin being upset with you filming sex scenes with other actors, he’s never been anything less than the supporting boyfriend you’ve always dreamed of. Seokjin calls Jimin’s constant presence on set maddening, but you’re thankful that your boyfriend sticks by your side while others might flee or shame you.
Suddenly, you’re overcome with emotion. Maybe it’s the stress, or maybe today you’re more hormonal than usual, but your eyes threaten to well up as you grip his palm tightly in your own. “Jimin, I—”
“Okay, lovebirds!” Seokjin claps his hands once, effectively ruining your moment. “Hand-holding time is over. We’re moving onto the more R-rated stuff.”
“Seokjin!” you hiss, upset over his horrible timing.
“It’s fine.” Jimin shakes his head. “He’s right, shoot’s about to start anytime soon. I need to get ready, too.”
“Right.”
Reluctantly, you let go of Jimin’s hand.
“Don’t pout.” He laughs and presses a quick, chaste kiss to your mouth. “I’ll wait for you after filming and we can go grab dinner. Italian sound fine?”
“Yes, yes, yes.” You bob your head eagerly. “I’m literally dying for carbs. Italian sounds more than perfect.”
“Good.” 
You can’t resist sneaking in one last peck before Jimin retreats behind the cameras and you’re pulled to stand in front of a granite kitchen tabletop. Director Ryu is waiting for you, Hoseok already by his side.
From close-up, your co-star looks even more striking. The make-up artist’s work highlights his features without going overboard. The lines of his face are sharp, like every single one has been meticulously drawn. What usually would give someone a hostile and unapproachable impression is balanced out by the liveliness that lights up his eyes and his wide smile that looks almost too big for his face.
“It’ll start in the kitchen and then we’ll work out way to the bedroom.” Director Ryu points down the hallway. “I was thinking of keeping it all in the bedroom but nothing screams domesticity more than kitchen scenes, right?”
“Uh-huh.” You give a polite nod. Next to you, Hoseok coughs into his fist.
“Depending on how this goes we might have to take several takes - just keep that in mind.”
That’s nothing out of the ordinary. Sex scenes are never filmed in one take. There’s always one thing or another - a smoke break, a flaccid dick, a lighting fixture that needs to be changed. A 45 minute porn movie is the result of the editing team that painstakingly goes through, cuts and assembles hours of footage.
“Remember,” Director Ryu instructs, one hand cocked on his hips. “You’re still stuck in that honeymoon phase. All the two of you want to do is fuck like horny bunnies but your husband’s been away all day. Both of you have been waiting for this reunion for hours and hours. I want to feel that level of tension, got it?”
Hoseok nods like a dutiful student, his expression comically serious. You’d laugh if it wasn’t so inappropriate.
“Yep. Ok. Got it.”
You just want the director to stop talking so that you can get this over with quickly. The monologue is just delaying the inevitable.
Director Ryu spends extra minutes setting up the scene, emphasizing how in love and passionate the two of you should behave, describing how long you’ve been wanting to try for a baby, going into explicit detail about what the sex scenes should convey to the viewers. He just goes on and on and on with no end it sight.
At this point even Hoseok is growing restless. His feet refuse to stay still and his eyes dart around the room as if his attention is drawn elsewhere. It’s Hoseok’s constant fidgeting that draws Director Ryu out of his monologue. He finally senses that there’s a unanimous decision to start filming and retires behind the camera to settle himself in his appointed chair.
Hoseok shares a long look with you. “Is he always like that?”
“God, I hope not.” You lower your voice to whisper, “Seokjin - my agent - he says apparently Director Ryu wanted to make a career off of documentaries once he graduated from film school but quickly switched genres once he saw how little filming the mating habits of koalas was earning him.”
“Ah,” Hoseok nods conspiratorially before his features shift into something more serious. “Hey. Before we start, is there anything you’re not comfortable with? I know this scene is supposed to lean towards vanilla but you never know... I’d rather make sure. Just in case.”
You blink, taken aback. Hard limits aren’t really discussed outside of hardcore scenes. Sure, everyone is given a safeword before shoots begin but even screaming out “STOP!” or “Can we take a break from filming?” is enough to put the filmed scene on hold.
“Ah... No. I’m okay. But thanks for asking.” A moment passes and you add, “Is there - are there any words or kinks that bother you?”
Hoseok shakes his head. “Not for this one. Just - if there’s anything you’d rather me not say or do, don’t hesitate.”
You nod in reply, not sure of what else to say. Unfortunately your past experiences with men have made you suspicious of any form of flattery or kindness.
Soon, though, you relax. What reason is there for Hoseok to deceive you? Maybe he still has that rookie mindset. You can relate to the eagerness and the desire to do well you’d had in your early days of filming.
“Alright. Good luck, Hoseok.”
His smile is so bright that it erases your previous doubts. Surely someone with ill-intentions wouldn’t be able to smile like that, right? You return a tentative smile of your own. Something akin to understanding seems to pass between you. Although you don’t know Hoseok and he doesn’t know you, you trust him enough for this scene.
The moment is broken when Director Ryu directs Hoseok to wait outside the camera’s line of vision and you’re left alone in front of the kitchen stove.
Any moment now, you think. A telltale silence falls over the staff members as they all anticipate the director’s signal for the scene to start.
The first few seconds are always tricky. You’re no actress. There’s no switch inside of you that flips on and off as soon as the director commands “ACTION!” and “CUT!”. The world around you doesn’t fade out, your ‘porn star persona’ doesn’t claw its way out from within you and lunge for the nearest available dick. Sometimes, if you’re not attracted to your onscreen partner, you find your mind drifting off, making an inventory of your fridge and wondering what you’ll be able to cook up for dinner with two eggs and leftover rice.
When Director Ryu shouts “ACTION!” and slams down the plate, you freeze up. Usually you have an idea of what to say or do, but the words and actions won’t come to you this time.
Someone behind the cameras lets out a light cough. Oh right, you blink down at the simmering pot of water in front of you. The cameras are recording you making an utter fool out of yourself.
The spike of humiliation forces you into action. You’re more professional than this, damn it. You give the water a tentative stir, movements wooden and stiff. It’s hard to concentrate. All you can do is watch as the water simmers to a boil, the sound of bubbling water like a roaring current in your ears.
A door creaks open, signalling your onscreen husband’s return home.
To your horror, you find that you’re unable to move, as if your limbs had forgotten their primary function.
Before the scene had started, you had envisioned yourself throwing yourself into the arms of your loving husband and welcoming him home with a shower of kisses and words of affection. You had internally rehearsed it, had even thought of what you could say to him between pecks, but the reality is far removed from what you had practiced.
“Darling?” Hoseok’s voice is soft but loud enough for you to hear him over the angry sounds of boiling water. The vowels he uses are rounded, different from the bright pep in his tone from earlier. 
You want to respond but your tongue feels like lead, too heavy in your mouth to articulate and form the proper reply. What are you supposed to call him, anyway? Honey? Hoseok? A nickname derived from his name? What do newlywed spouses call each other? Why couldn’t you give this more thought before the cameras began rolling?
Panic balloons inside you, threatening to burst. For a terrifying and mortifying second, you think that you’ve gone and ruined everything. The muscles in your shoulders bunch up and you half-expect the director to shout ‘CUT!’, give you a public scolding for missing your cue and berate you for your overall ineptitude.
Hoseok’s arms wrap around your middle before you have time to agonize any further. Just as you suspected, his arms are strong, the lean muscles flexing as he readjusts his hold around your waist. What you don’t expect, however, is the unadulterated warmth he radiates. His body burns hot; even through the layers of clothing separating the two of you, his warmth seeps through. But it’s strangely comfortable, not unlike basking in the afternoon sun during the last days of summer. You let yourself melt into his embrace.
“You’re not even going to say hi?”
With your back turned to him, you can’t be sure, but you imagine the pout playing at his lips. He tucks his chin in the crook of your shoulder. If he feels any awkwardness, he doesn’t let it show.
Miraculously, your mouth seems to be in working order again. It takes you a few seconds too long to find the appropriate answer, but it finally comes before the director can cut in to make any remarks.
“If I turn around right now, I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you,” you explain. “And - I don’t want to ruin our dinner.”
Just to keep up the pretense, you add a handful of spaghetti into the pot of water.
Hoseok lets out a hum from behind you. He’s standing close enough for you to feel the vibrations low in his throat.
“I hate it,” he says after a stretch of silence.
You pout. “What? My cooking? What’s wrong with it?”
“No, silly. I hate -” he sighs, buries his face in your neck before looking back up so the camera can capture his expression. “I hate not being with you. I missed this.”
He hugs you from behind before kissing your neck. It starts off innocuous - his lips pressing short, chaste kisses down the column of your throat. Quickly, however, his mouth lingers on your skin.
“Ah - don’t. I’m cooking!” you shriek when his teeth scrape over a sensitive spot under your jaw. Your protests are half-hearted and go by unacknowledged. The pot of pasta could overflow right now and no one would care, least of all you.
Hoseok noses your neck while he tightening his grip around your waist, the movement bringing his hips flush against your lower back. You give the pot in front of you a very unenthusiastic stir, attention focused instead on the way his lips tenderly skim the surface of your skin, testing and teasing. The sensation feels nice - and keeps your mind off of the several cameras directed your way.
“But I went all day missing my princess,” he sighs, open mouthed against your neck. “Spent all day thinking about you.”
“Y-you did?”
“Mhm.” He gives your exposed shoulder a peck. Then another. “Thought about your cute little laugh.”
His line catches you off guard. Your mouth opens but no sound comes out.
Porn is often crude and to the point. You’re used to men complimenting your body parts or praising your skills in bed. You’d never minded, either. But Hoseok’s choice of words make you eager in a different way.
“What else?”
“Well, your cooking, for sure. Without you I’d be eating out of ramyeon packets for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”
You let out a snort.
“That’s true. Your cooking is so horrible it’s offensive.”
“Hey now. Don’t be mean.” He pokes your cheek before pinching your chin to turn your head towards him. “I can cook a decent omelet.”
Hoseok’s a good few inches taller than you so you have to strain your neck to be able to look him in the eyes. The slight discomfort barely registers. You’re too transfixed by the way he stares at you. It’s hard to place the expression because you’ve never seen it on a fellow actor before. Normally, the men you work with stare you down with hungry and lustful intent, but there’s none of that in Hoseok’s gaze.
The expression on his face cannot be described as innocent, either. He licks his lips, drawing your attention to the pretty lines of his mouth delicately curved into a smile.
“I missed the way you feel in my arms.” His voice sounds deeper, this time. “I missed holding you close to me. Kissing you. Reminding you how much I love you. I missed the look in your eyes when - “
“When?”
He smirks. “You sure you want to hear it? What if you can’t keep your hands off of me after? I don’t want to be held responsible for soggy pasta.”
“Hoseok,” you whine, one of your hands reaching down to slap at the hold around your stomach. 
He tightens his hold around you and your breath hitches, suddenly all too aware of how firm his body feels behind you. The smirk on his face widens as he leans forward to confess his next words.
“I was thinking about how I miss the look on your face whenever I make your pussy sloppy with my cum.”
“Hoseok!”
One moment he’s crooning sweet words of affection, the next he’s spitting out filth. The quick back-and-forth gives you whiplash but you can’t say you dislike it. Unlike the tired and overused clichéd porn scenarios you’ve filmed in the past, Hoseok’s unpredictable behavior has the advantage of keeping you on your toes.
“You missed it too, hm?” He kisses your neck, lips soft and warm. “Kept thinking about how pretty you sound. So, so pretty. Especially when I give you what you want.”
“How would you know what I want?” You turn your head forwards so you can pretend to check up on the cooking pasta. “You were away all day.”
Hoseok’s eyes flash dangerously.
“How would I know?” he parrots back, his tone sweet and mocking. Something about it sends tingles down your spine and has you standing up straighter. “I always know what my pretty wife wants. I know because your body can’t lie to me.”
His hands wander, one of them inching up the material of your frilly apron to reach between your breasts. The movement is slow enough for a camera to zoom in and follow its trail. Hoseok rests his hand on your left breast and gives it a squeeze.
“See?” He repeats the action. “Your heart’s racing like crazy.”
You swallow audibly, finding it hard to come up with a witty riposte.
He continues with a chuckle, “You can’t deny it, can you? Your body’s too honest for your own good. It’s okay. You don’t have to say you missed me. I know.”
His self-assured way of talking makes it easier for you to react. This - the cockiness, the playfulness - you’re familiar with.
You roll your eyes and continue to give the pot in front of you a few additional stirs only for your breath to hitch when he starts to grind his hips against your lower back in time with your stirs.
Fuck is your only coherent thought. He rolls his hips so well it’s impossible not to imagine them doing something else. Your bottom lip grows numb from how hard you bite it.
“Of course I missed you.” You keep your tone as light as possible, determined not to show that his words and actions affect you.
Hoseok’s eyes narrow. He removes his hands from around you but keeps his front pressed against your back. He smiles again, dimples poking through.
“You don’t sound convinced... That’s fine.” It sounds like the beginning of a challenge and you soon learn why.
His nimble fingers play with the knot of your apron and you tense, expecting him to make quick work of your clothes and dive straight into dessert, so to speak. Once again, he surprises you by leaving the apron alone, hands falling to his sides.
His knees hit the floor, the noise startling you. Before you have the chance to truly react, he’s quick to pull your hips backwards until your back is arched. The sudden change in position forces you to adjust your stance so as to keep your balance.
“Hoseok?” you start to question but he cuts you off with a tut and light smack to your ass.
“You just keep your eye on dinner like you were doing before.” His fingers play with the hem of your short dress, stretching the fabric until it bunches up around your hips and leaves your lacy thong on display. “You can do that, right?”
Flustered by the position he’s maneuvered you into, with your hips thrust back obscenely, legs splayed wide and pussy on show, you grip the wooden spoon in your hand with more force than necessary. “It’s just pasta. I can manage.”
Maybe you sound less indifferent than intended because Hoseok seems more amused than offended by your feinted nonchalance. He barks out a laugh, his hands spreading the meat of your cheeks aside to get a better view of your lace-covered bits.
Privately, you wish you could witness his reaction. If there’s anything that turns you on, it’s knowing how much someone else wants you. If feels good to know that you’re wanted and desired. Even if fucking is part of your job description, the act needs to be mutually enjoyable for you to be completely satisfied.
“Sure.” The lilt in his voice is so sweet that it borders on condescending. “While you do that, I think I’ll have my appetizer.”
It’s corny, overused and a little degrading - exactly the type of one-liner you’d ordinarily find in porn - but he gives you no time to call him out for it. As soon as he’s done talking, he wags his tongue out and drags it across the red lace, and the repeated up and down motions quickly dampen your panties.
You notice with great frustration that he takes care to avoid your clit, focusing instead on licking broad stripes over slit and, to your surprise, around your rim.  He doesn’t stop until your underwear drips with the accumulation of your essence and his saliva. The soaked lace rubs against you, the rough texture adding pressure to your most sensitive zones, until you can’t tell if the extra sensation is a blessing or a curse. Your hips jerk forward every so often, unsure if you’d rather lean into or escape his torturous games. Because as amazing as Hoseok’s tongue feels, you know your body well enough to be able to tell that this particular tempo won’t bring you to your peak.
An appetizer, he had called it. That’s exactly what the teasing ministrations feel like - a small sampling before the main course. It’s satisfying and maddening in its own way. Good, but not enough to satisfy your ravenous appetite.
He unearths himself from your dripping core, chin shiny with your juices.
“Keep focus,” he instructs as he slots two fingers inside of you. You’re wet enough that they slide in without too much difficulty, the stretch making your stomach clench. “I thought you said you knew how to cook pasta.”
Against your will, you force yourself to focus on the bubbling water in front of you. As much as you want to push your hips back and ride his fingers until you’re pushed over the edge, you can’t take the humiliation of messing up pasta - even if it is for the sake of a porn scenario.
It’s fucking pasta! You have to be seriously inept to mess up such a simple dish...
But what should have been an effortless task becomes more challenging than expected. Hoseok refuses to go easy on you. If anything, your stubborn silence is all the motivation he needs to thrust his fingers inside of you harder, curving them at an angle that makes your knees wobble. You struggle to keep any incriminating noises at bay but despite your best efforts, several muffled moans slip out one after the other.
Somewhere in the back of your mind, the logical side of you points out how dangerous all of this is. What if, during your impending orgasm, your body seizes up and knocks the boiling water everywhere during the process? You quickly switch off the gas stove at the thought. Better be safe than sorry.
Just then, Hoseok adds his tongue to the mix, his fingers relentless in their pursuit of your pleasure. You bite back a curse as the wooden spoon slips from your hold and clatters to the floor.
“Ah fu - Oh God,” you stutter, hands holding on to the edge of the counter for dear life.
You’ve been eaten out God knows how many times in your life, but not many have instinctively known what really gets you going. Hoseok laps at your core, tongue collecting the moisture that seeps through the fabric of your ruined panties, while his fingers scissor you open for his cock.
Your stomach clenches as you imagine how well he’d fill you up. Who the hell would ever want pasta for dinner when Hoseok could feed you his cock instead? Definitely not you, that’s for sure.
It’s easy to picture it. All he’d need to do is stand up, unzip his pants and spear you open with a practiced roll of his hips. Maybe he’d make you toss a salad while he fucks you from behind, slapping your ass whenever you forget to keep stirring the ingredients together. Or perhaps he’d let you ride his dick on the kitchen floor, too impatient to make it to a more comfortable surface.
Your imagination knows no bounds. Once you start, you can’t stop thinking of more lascivious scenarios, each one more daring and debauched than the last. The heat between your legs becomes unbearable and still, you ache for more.
Hoseok pulls away from the apex of your thighs and snorts, the sound pulling you out of your depraved thoughts. The pace of his thrusting slows down without stopping completely, his fingers still pressed deep within you. Your arms tremble as they try to keep you upright, knuckles white from the strength of your grip around the counter’s edge. You exhale shakily.
A whine works its way into your voice. “Why - why’d you stop?”
Ignoring your protests, he pops his fingers out of you and indulges in one last lick of your swollen pussy, before gathering to his feet. He rolls down your dress back over your bum and peers over your shoulder, acting as nothing had ever happened.
“Thought you said you’d take care of dinner, hm?” Hoseok has the gall to hum in disappointment.
Your mouth opens in outrage. “You!”
Hoseok pouts. “I thought we said you wouldn’t blame me for any soggy pasta.”
“You’re impossible,” you say without any real heat to your words.
“But you love me that way.”
He smiles as he leans in to kiss you, lips sticky and warm. You follow the pace he sets as best you can, unaccustomed to the way he takes his time - like you’re a delicacy that demands to be savored and not gulped down. On-screen kisses are usually rushed, messy, with too much tongue. They’re a scripted affair, more for show than out of real affection. When men tuck back your hair behind your ear or palm your cheek, it’s only to better angle your face for the camera.
There is something intimate about the way he holds you, the way he looks at you. Inwardly, you can't help but admire his acting skills. There’s something tender about the way he handles you that’s distinctly different from any of your previous onscreen partners. Sure, you’ve shot vanilla sex scenes before, but never of this variety. None of the male actors’ performances have made you wish, even fleetingly, foolishly, that the scene was real.
Hoseok pulls up for air before your mind can wander off completely, his panting mouth a hairsbreadth away. Lips touching but not quite.
Blearily, you blink your eyes open. You’re close enough that your noses brush against one another, your breaths mingling together. Hoseok’s eyes remain closed throughout, like he doesn’t want the moment to end. He looks so content that you can’t bring yourself to do anything else but melt further into his embrace, gaze drinking in the minute details of his face - like the tiny moles dotting his cheekbone and upper lip and the pretty curve of his eyes.
“And cut!”
You both jump away from each other, startled. For a second there, the storyline you’d been instructed to follow had slipped from your mind. You’re unsure if the lapse in judgement is good or bad but you don’t let the question linger in your thoughts. You’ll have plenty of time to dissect your performance at a later time.
“Good, good. That wasn’t what I was expecting but I don’t think anyone has any objections?” Director Ryu claps his hands. “Fifteen minute break sound good everyone? Then we’ll relocate to the bedroom to shoot the next part.”
There’s a general hum of agreement from the crew members. Chairs and various other equipment scrape the floor as the personnel prepare to migrate to the other room for filming. Jimin’s gaze meets yours briefly but all he can do is smile weakly in your direction before he’s ordered to help push some of the equipment down the hall.
Someone comes up to you with a bottle of water while another steps closer to blot the beads of sweat near your hairline and reapply a layer of lipstick. The make-up artist knits her brows in concentration until she’s satisfied with the touch-ups. She then moves on to Hoseok, make-up palette and brush at the ready, and grumbles loudly about the sticky residue covering his face. You hear Hoseok bellow a laugh, the sound so infectious that even the make-up artist joins in. 
You sip your water through a straw, careful not to smudge your freshly applied lipstick, and check your phone for any missed messages.
“Was all of that okay?”
“Hm?” You look up and are surprised to see Hoseok stare at you expectantly. “I, uh, know some girls aren’t into ass play. I’m sorry. I should’ve asked before jumping the gun but I figured - since you said there wasn’t anything major you were adverse to filming...”
His voice trails off.
“I liked it.” The admission is an easy one. “It did take me by surprise, but - I don’t have any complaints.”
“Ah, really?” Hoseok’s mouth corners upturn in relief. “That’s good to know. I was thinking - for the next scene - what if - I mean, are you okay with calling me Daddy?”
You tilt your head as you mull over the proposition.
“Daddy?”
“It’s not - you don’t have to. But listening to Director Ryu go on earlier made me think of something we could do. I think it fits well with the general idea. What do you think?”
“I’m fine with it.” Using the title doesn’t make you squeamish so you shrug in compliance. It’s not the first you’ve had to incorporate a daddy kink into the scene and it likely won’t be the last. You don’t see why you wouldn’t or shouldn’t do it with Hoseok. “I’ll follow your lead like I’ve been doing.”
It’s only as you’re following him towards the bedroom that you recall that you’ve yet to get to the crux of the scene - the damned impregnation kink. Even though you’re considerably less nervous than you’d been an hour or two ago, the thought of begging someone you barely know for something so intimate makes your stomach flip-flop. You don’t even have unprotected sex with Jimin and he’s your boyfriend.
Speaking of Jimin, you try to sneak in a peck or two before filming but Director Ryu intercepts you before you can make a beeline to where Jimin’s stationed behind a camera.
“How are you feeling?” The overhead light reflects off his round glasses and makes it impossible to hold eye contact unless you want to become semi-permanently blind.
“Good---”
“Wonderful. Well, we’ve positioned cameras here, here, and over there. There’ll be another camera man who’ll film with a handheld camera for closeups. Just keep that in mind. I know we’re giving you free-range to do what you feel is best and most natural but I’d hate to ask you to re-shoot because the camera couldn’t capture the both of you properly.”
You nod and he continues, “Also - please remember that you’re acting as a horny young married couple. I remember at that age I was up for anything, you get what I’m saying? People think just because you put a ring on your finger the sex automatically becomes stale. Fuck that. Show people married couples are freaks in the sheet.”
“Uh... Alright. I’ll keep that in mind.”
He claps a hand over your shoulder. “That’s the spirit.”
Freaks in the sheet? What did he expect you to do? Try out all the sex positions in the Kama Sutra?
“What did he want now?” Hoseok leans over to whisper once you’re seated comfortably on the bed. You’re hoping the mics don’t pick up the conversation but would rather not take the risk of being overheard bad-mouthing the director.
Shrugging, you say, “Just that this scene should be spicier.”
Hoseok raises his brow, lips quirking into a smirk. “That so?”
The same cockiness you’d caught a glimpse of during your escapade in the kitchen is back and the memory you associate it with makes the back of your neck prickle with heat. You clear your throat and avert your eyes.
Thankfully Director Ryu interrupts before Hoseok has the chance to fluster you further. You follow each of the director’s voiced directives until you’re comfortably seated on Hoseok’s lap, dress hitched around your waist because of how far your knees are spread on either side of Hoseok’s thighs. There’s a quick, last minute adjustment as Director Ryu ensures that the camera in the left corner picks up on everything it’s supposed to.
Satisfied, he lets you take the reins from there, then gives the cameras the signal to begin rolling.
You don’t waste a moment, taking his earlier commentary to heart. It’s your turn to pepper kisses all over Hoseok’s golden skin, leaving faint traces of rouge behind like an artist signing their own painting. You stop a few times to admire your work. Lip prints and lavender bite marks color his skin and the sight awakens a possessive streak you didn’t know you had.
Your enthusiasm to mark him up gets a little out of hand.
"Mhm." Hoseok grunts when you lick over a sensitive spot under his jaw. "Slow down, princess. There's no rush. We have all night."
He cups his chin between his hands so you have no choice but to relent and direct your gaze up at him. You’re pleased to see that he’s not completely indifferent to your touch; despite his instructions to take it slow, the smoldering look in his eyes tell a different story.
He runs the pad of his thumb over your lower lip, the pink flesh no doubt swollen. You take the digit in your mouth, unprompted, and run your tongue against its underside, wishing that his cock could fill your mouth instead.
Hoseok makes a noise low in his throat, not quite a growl but close.
"And I intend to take my time with you." The look he levels you with promises a night full of mind-numbing pleasure. Ribbons of heat curl around the base of your spine. "Want to make you feel good."
"You do," you agree, words muffled around the thumb you refuse to let go of.
You take a hold of his wrist and free your mouth, only to quickly replace it with his forefinger and middle finger. The stretch of two digits makes you moan lewdly.
Hoseok’s eyes darken. He lets you play for a few more seconds before he takes back control, his fingers pushing deeper into your mouth until they hit the back of your throat. You swallow down a gag, but his fingers don’t let you rest for long. He drags them over the flat of your tongue, watching as spit dribbles down past the sides of your mouth, and repeats the motion, pumping into your mouth steadily like he would a cock.
As nice as it feels to be filled with his fingers, whether in your cunt or mouth, you’re ready for more. Subconsciously, your hips grind down in his lap, shifting this way and that until you’re perfectly seated over his hardened length.
Drool is pushed out of your mouth as Hoseok squeezes a third fingers in with the other two. You suck harder, hoping that all your efforts will spur Hoseok into finally fucking you. The knowledge that he has to, at one point or another, keeps you from whining and begging pathetically for his cock. You can exercise patience if you put your mind to it; you’re sure of it. 
Your on-screen husband decides to test that resolve.
His other hand starts to wander south, his fingers toying with the short hem of your dress that’s been rucked up even higher with all your rocking and grinding. The movement of your hips slow, your brain unable to keep up with the stimuli coming in all directions.
A crack resounds in the room, the sharp sound startling you more than the sting that accompanies it. Hoseok’s palm rubs over the heated area, only inflaming it further.
“And who told you you could stop?”
The second slap is notably harsher than the first, and your hips automatically lurch forward hoping perhaps to lessen the impact of the sting.
You know he doesn’t expect a verbal answer; his second hand keeps your mouth plugged up, making any attempt at talking unintelligible. It doesn’t stop you from trying, only because you know the muffled protest are greatly appreciated amongst viewers. And if the way Hoseok’s digs his fingers into your smarting ass cheek is any indicator, you’re confident that he also enjoys your squirming and messy display.
“Keep moving, princess. I need both your holes nice and wet.”
The way his voice dips an octave makes your stomach twist in arousal. You long to tell him that you’re sufficiently wet enough for him to slide his cock inside right away but all you manage are pitiful garbled words.
He raises an eyebrow at your delayed response and your hips move before he can smack the globes of your ass for a third time. You have an inkling he’ll only hit harder with the intention of leaving marks of his own all over your skin.
It’s a careful balancing act, but you figure it out as you go. Bounce too fast and the fingers in your mouth will make you gag. Move too slowly for his liking and he won’t hesitate to add to the collection of handprints on your ass.
You lose track of how long he makes you play this game. Your mind focuses on sucking while keeping your jaw slack enough to accomadate the width of three digits. Drool pools down your chin, and you’re certain whatever the make-up artist had done to your lips is now ruined. Worse off are your panties. At the stage they’re at now, you’ll have no choice but to throw them out. Hoseok’s pants might need be as unsalveagable as your thong, you think inwardly, judging by the large, dark wet spot you’re currently sitting on.
“Mmh, good girl.” 
He gently slides his fingers out, strings of saliva attached. He hums in satisfaction at the lewd sight and rubs his fingers across your swollen lips and shiny chin, spreading the fluids and what’s left of your lipstick over your mouth. You swallow, mouth sore from being used roughly for so long.
“This hole is sufficiently wet, I think,” he appraises, eyelashes fluttering before he casts a long look down your body until it reaches where you’re seated on his clothed erection. “Let’s check this one too.”
The way he smirks at you but makes no move to check himself lets you know that he expects you to do the work.
You let your hands trail down your body slowly, cupping your breasts as you do, enjoying his hooded gaze and the way his cock twitches beneath you a bit too much. When you reach the hem of your dress, you lift your hips up to pull the fabric up to your navel giving an unobstructed view of your lace-covered pussy.
Hoseok stare intensifies but you don’t feel any embarrassment from the scrutiny. “Well you certainly look ripe.”
His fingers toy with the delicate string of lace around your hips. He lets the material snap against your skin a few times before he grows bored or impatient with his own game and gives the lace a harsh yank. It tears easily and the leftover scraps fall into his lap.
“... But just to be sure -” His hands grip your waist and manhandle you onto your hands and knees. Your head spins from how suddenly he’s moved you around to his liking that your arms give out and you fall face first into the clean smelling bed sheets. “Gotta give my favorite hole of yours a better look.”
His hands hoist your hips at a higher angle so that your soaked center is visible for the cameras to pan onto. Hoseok slides in two fingers easily, then a third. Loud, obscene noises echo in the otherwise quiet room, noises that are quickly joined by your unabashed moans of pleasure.
Your core is on fire. Hoseok’s fingers are just as good as you remember them to be. No, better. The three fingers pump into you in measured strokes, the drag slow enough to keep you dangling over the edge without pushing you over.
Hoseok spanks your ass, hissing between his teeth as you clench around his fingers, no doubt imagining your inner walls hugging his cock instead. 
“Christ. You’re always such a soft, wet little thing down here,” he croons in dulcet tones. “I could play with you all day.”
You thrust your hips back, shameless.
“Please! Please Daddy, I’ll be so good, I just - please - I nuh, need it. Need your cock fucking me full. I’ll take it so good, you know I will. Want you to - please! Daddy, I need your cum.”
“Shit.”
He fumbles in his haste to flip you onto your back. He crawls over your body, and you watch fascinated as he dives down to kiss you like a man starved. He looks almost feral, pupils so dilated the brown of his eyes is almost gone.
Heat blooms in your stomach as he kisses you deeply. The press of his lips against yours renders you a little less coherent as time ticks on, every brush of his tongue making you a little more dizzy with want.
Everything about him burns. It feels like being kissed by the sun itself. Every caress, every lick and nip leaves you feverish all over, like your drunk off his touch.
"Let me," he says, pinching the zipper of your dress between his thumb and index finger.
You wrap your hand around his and guide his movements. His gaze never leaves yours and it makes shivers run down your back. Even though you're the one controlling his movements for the time being, the look in his eyes makes it abundantly clear that the control you wield is only temporary.
When your dress finally falls open, you try not to preen too much under the reverent look that falls over Hoseok’s face. Your back arches a little off the bed, pert breasts thrust towards him - an appealing offer he doesn’t dare refuse.
Hoseok circles a thumb around your nipple, rubbing and flicking until it hardens into a stiff peak.
You wonder, distantly, how this looks like from the outside looking in. The man in front of you is a stranger in all senses of the word. Yet the way he touches you - like there are years of built-up affection behind every gesture - makes you second guess everything you know.
"Fuckin' love your tits.” He sighs, awe reflected in the dark of his eyes. "Love playing with them. Love how wet it gets you, how hungry your little pussy gets."
"Please,” you mewl, his words igniting a new wave of heat. It rolls over your body, leaving no extremity untouched. You burn from the inside out with raw desire.
You squeeze your own breasts in a bid to get him to touch you more. Hoseok merely chuckles, finding your desperation entertaining. One of his hands reach down between you to play with the wetness that clings to your core like a second skin and it takes everything inside of you not to rub yourself against him like a bitch in heat.
"What is it, princess?" His lips quirk into a smirk like he already knows the answer. "You're looking quite needy. How did you manage to hold it in all this time?"
“Stop teasing,” you growl, the lack of friction making you irritable. "I need your cock. And why - why do you have so many fucking clothes on?”
He chuckles, chest vibrating in amusement.
“Take them off,” you insist. Then, you grudgingly tack on a “Please” for good measure.
As hot as Hoseok looks like in his “work clothes”, he looks infinitely better naked, you decide as he chucks off his button-down shirt and gets started on his leather belt. With each new piece of clothing that gets discarded, the anticipation building inside of you skyrockets.
You take a moment to soak in his lithe figure, not bothering to hide how affected you are by the view. He’s nicely sculpted; you can tell right away that he takes care of himself. Swimming or dancing maybe? You hesitate between the two. His muscles are lean, nothing like the bulging biceps and thick forearms typical of the stereotypical gym rat.
Hoseok’s dick is, unsurprisingly, as pretty as the rest of him. It’s long and curved, a prominent vein running along its underside. The thatch of pubic hair that rests above his dick is neatly trimmed, the dark hair contrasting with the tan skin of his abdomen and the rosy hue of his erect length. Your eyes swoop down his thighs, licking your lips unwittingly at the alluring sight presented to you.
“Daddy,” you say, the whine in your voice unmistakable. “Want your cock.”
For a brief moment you’re tricked into believing he’s given in to your demand, but find yourself disappointed when he contents himself with rubbing his hardened member between your thighs, the glide slippery thanks to the copious amount of your essence that’s pooled there.
“Like this?” Hoseok asks, tone too sweet to be anything but mocking. The head of his cock bumps into your swollen bundle of nerves one, two, three times. You keen, your hips canting upwards in a bid to get more friction. “Want to rut against me until you get nice and creamy?”
He uses his right hand to spread your slick lower lips so that he can nestle his cock snuggly between them. He rolls his hips, the undulations fluid and dirty, and smirks at how you moan brokenly beneath him.
Your stomach clenches. “Need it in me."
"You'll get it," he promises after kissing you sloppily, lips sucking on your tongue. His breath is ragged but his voice steady, firm. "I'll give you everything you need. Make you cum so many times you know who owns this sweet pussy."
He speaks so surely, carries himself with so much confidence, that in the moment you can't help but believe him. The line between staged and reality blurs and you find yourself nodding eagerly, begging him as best you can to give you what you want.
The first tentative push of his dick wipes you clean of coherency. He slowly eases himself into you, reaching forward to lace his fingers with yours. It’s - more intimate than you expected. He squeezes your hand tightly in his when he finally manages to bury his entire length inside of you.
“Perfect.” He kisses the side of your temple before drawing back, his hard cock dragging deliciously against you. With a fluid hip thrust, he slides back in and you feel the stretch moreso this time around. The curvature of his cock has him pressing up against your walls in a way that robs you of breath.
"Daddy! Hh - ah, oh God. You're too b-big."
"Mhm, that's right. Daddy's fat cock is splitting you open. I'll plug you up with it later so none of my cum will leak out."
Every time he pulls back, your pussy clamps down tightly around him, unwilling to be empty even for a second.
Hoseok’s nostrils flare in arousal. He grabs your left tit and squeezes, using it as a hold to better fuck into you. With his body hovering above yours, his hand staking claim of your breast, and his cock drilling into you, you have nowhere to go. Pinned to the bed and unable to do anything but take everything he delivers, you wrap your legs around his waist and moan.
"Daddy's gonna fuck some babies into you,” he rasps, his eyes dark pools of lust. "Gonna breed your sweet pussy over and over. You'll be so full of my cum that you'll be pregnant with my babies for sure."
“Oh fuck. Yes, yes - oh my nhhg.” You sob as Hoseok drives his cock into you with more force. While the piston of his hips isn’t rushed, he pulls out to the tip only to slam back in to the hilt every time. The stretch burns in a good way and the sound of your moans are rivaled only by the wet, obscene sounds from your coupling.
"Fuck. Your cunt just - shit." He cracks down a hand against your ass and you shriek, not expecting it. "You're so tight, holy shit."
"Want it. Want you to fuck me good."
"I will," he says lowly, the promise reverberating deep in his chest. "I'll fuck you until you're begging me to stop. Fill you up so much, you'll be bloated with it."
And it should freak you out, the imagery he paints with his words, but the thought of laying there and him fucking you so well that you won't be able to feel your legs has you gushing out more wetness.
"Mmmh.” Maybe he can feel how soaked you are because he comments, “This is my favorite hole of yours, princess. Always so fuckin' drenched. I bet we’ll have to throw out the sheets again." He chuckles. "You must be hungry for it, right? I made you wait so long. No wonder your pussy is clenching like that. It needs a big, fat cock to milk dry."
“I missed it,” you cry, body skidding a little higher up the duvet each time he fucks into you. Your eyelashes flutter, lids heavy. It’s hard to concentrate, let alone form words, when your brain feels like complete mush. “I - I need your cum. Daddy, please.”
"Don't worry, gorgeous. I've got you. Daddy will feed your cute pussy his cock."
"Th-thank you, Daddy."
"Love you," he murmurs. It’s a quiet confession, lost somewhere in between the mattress creaks, the loud slaps of Hoseok’s hips slamming against yours, and the string of whimpers and groans pulled from your throat. It’s quiet but you hear it.
One of your hands reach up to pull him down by the neck so that your lips meet. He kisses you open-mouthed. It’s a filthy kiss, one that makes you moan into his mouth. You’re certain that if you had been standing your knees would have wobbled.
When you let up for air, Hoseok’s staring you down, his red-bitten lips plump and shiny.
"Love this pussy. So sweet and wet for me. Always for fucking swollen, like it's waiting to get a pounding. Love that. Love how eager you are to be bred by my thick cock."
The impregnation kink is - a bit much. You've never really imagined having kids, at least not anytime soon. You can’t even keep your plants alive for fuck’s sake.
But the way he suggests it is nothing like what you had imagined. His suggestions are - vulgar and primal. Like the urge to fuck you full of his cum is biological and he can’t smother it.
For a moment, you let yourself entertain the thought of being his breeding bitch - of laying on your back and letting him fuck load after load of cum inside you until your pussy physically can't accommodate any more. Of not having any other worries or thoughts but take his cock every moment of the day.
"You just got tighter.” He curses under his breath, voice thick with arousal.  "Such a warm little hole. Taking everything I give it. You'd take anything if it meant getting bred by me, right?"
“Yes, yes,” you chant, pleasure coiling inside of you. “Give me more! I need it."
"Shit. You can't handle more, princess," he tries to reason. "Daddy needs to be gentle with you. Your hole is so small, it'll hurt if I go harder."
"Daddy promised to fuck me.” You whine, uncaring if you sound too bratty and demanding. "B- Breed my hole. It's yours. Puh-please use me."
"God." Hoseok groans, his features twisting in what looks to be pain or pleasure. With tremendous effort he pulls himself out of you and your eyes widen in panic.
“What? Daddy why? I thought—”
He shushes you, reaching somewhere overhead to grab a fluffy pillow. "Just wait a sec, okay? There you go.”
The pillow is placed underneath your hips, keeping them elevated. When Hoseok takes his glistening cock in hand and directs it back in, you both moan in unison.
"Oh fuck, I’m gonna, ah,” you gasp as your mind goes blank with pleasure. The new angle is heaven on earth. It’s almost too much, too quick, but Hoseok’s firm grip on your hips prevents you from alleviating the pressure.
"Take it." He grunts, brows knit together. Every powerful snap of his hips makes your breasts bounce, your breath hitch. Without his hands keeping you pinned down, your head would have collided with the headboard by now. "Be a good princess and take your fucking."
He gains momentum, the new angle facilitating the slide of his cock. He drags the flat of his palm down your thigh and takes a hold of your knee before hoisting it up over your shoulder. The stretch burns the back of your calves but you’re so fucked out, you can’t even find the words to complain.
When you glance up, it’s to fall upon the sight of Hoseok brushing his sweaty fringe out of his face. His cheeks are flushed pink, his skin dewy from the film of perspiration wrapped around his body. Beads of sweat trickle down his heaving chest but he chooses to forgo a quick break. On the contrary, he pushes in deeper like he’s determined to carve out a permanent space for his cock.
"Just gonna keep you here,” he huffs, his eyes the shade of cloudless night sky. “Everyday I'll fuck my cum back inside of you so that you'll always stay full. Want to fuck you forever. Don't want this to end."
"Want it too," you sob, orgasm hovering just on the periphery. "Want you to keep me full forever. Ugh - oh fuck! Hoseok- I'm—"
"You gonna cum around my cock, princess?" He angles his hips downwards, relishing in the wanton cry it elicits. "Gonna give me everything?"
"I'm yours," you profess, jaw slack with pleasure.
It doesn’t take much more for the orgasm to crash over you, Hoseok fucks you through it, groaning as your inner walls spasm around him. He breathes out curses, lip drawn tight between his lips, and doesn’t wait for the last waves of your orgasm to abate to chase after his own end.
In the throes of your pleasure, it doesn’t register then that Hoseok has been holding back all this time. If you thought he had been fucking you hard before, it’s nothing compared to now. He growls and bends forward, forcing your leg to stretch even more, and pushes in and out of you at a pace that makes you scream.
You don’t even have time to come down from your first high that you’re already thrown towards your second. Hoseok plugs your mouth up using two digits, his fingers a firm pressure against your tongue. Your eyes roll back, too overwhelmed from the feeling of being stuffed on both ends.
“God, I could fuck your holes all fucking day.” His rhythm begins to falter as the pressure inside of him grows, his movements frantic and less controlled than they’ve ever been. “How about that? I’ll fuck my princess’ mouth properly next time, stretch it out nicely. Then you’ll let me have your ass, hm?”
Shit, shit, you whimper around his fingers, spit bubbling down the sides on your mouth. It’s scary knowing you have no way to stop the oncoming destruction.
“Yeah, I can tell you love that. You’re gonna cream my dick again, aren’t you?” You can’t tell if the sound he makes is a laugh or a grunt. All you know is that you feel like you’re about to burst. “C’mon, be a good girl and milk my cum out. You better get every last drop.”
There’s an underlying threat in his command. You do your best to obey his words, not wanting to disappoint.
Hoseok pushes his cock in as deep as it can go and grinds his hips into yours. His cock reaches so deep that you swear he might hit your cervix. And considering the nature of the scene you’re portraying, maybe that’s what he intends.
He swipes his fingers through the mess of your cunt, zeroing in on your sensitive clit. He swirls some of your fluids over it before giving it a sharp pinch that makes you cry out. Your hips fly off the pillow but Hoseok is quick to pin you back down. The never-ending drag of his cock along your walls paired with the rough ministrations to your clit is all you need for the pressure inside you to snap.
Above you, Hoseok moans, low and throaty, as he finally dumps rope after rope of warm cum inside of you. He throws his head back, exposing the collar of purplish bruises you sucked onto his skin earlier. Something about the view satisfies you immensely - not that you’d dare voice these thoughts out loud.
Hoseok’s strength gives out and he sags onto your body, his breath warm against your skin. He feels hot, like a furnace, but strangely it’s not uncomfortable. It’s almost like having a personal heating pad; the soreness of your muscles melts away with each passing moment.
Much to your displeasure, your post-coital bliss doesn’t last forever. He's given the signal to pull out and obeys, careful to keep your hips propped up so that his load of cum won’t slosh out. He’s still got a role to play, after all, and the end goal is to get you pregnant.
A cameraman walks forward to zoom in on your swollen and used pussy - physical proof of your exploits. The haze lifts. You become more aware of the people standing on the outskirts of your vision, lighting or sound equipment in hand.
“And that’s a wrap!” Director Ryu calls, his cheeks stretched to accommodate the width of his grin. “Good job everybody!”
You breathe out a sigh, glad your day is finally over. Seokjin walks up to you with a robe for you to throw on and you nod in thanks, slipping the satin gown over your sweaty body.
Around you, the staff start milling about, putting the equipment away and gathering their belongings. You pay them no heed, your attention focused on getting changing into showering and changing into comfortable clothes. You’re in the middle of taming your messy hair when your stomach erupts into growls, reminding you of your hungry state. What you’d do for a big slice of piz—
You remember your date with Jimin and speed up, not wanting to make him wait around for you any longer. It’s not hard to spot him - he’s waiting outside of your dressing room, can of coke in hand.
Something about his smile feels off.
Maybe it’s the way his eye corners don’t crease or the slight strain the curve of his mouth that betray him.
Your expression falls. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing - it’s nothing, don’t worry,” he says after a short, tense moment of silence. The look on your face must have reflected your feelings of doubt because he proceeds by reaching out and pulling you tight against him. Pressed up against his shirt, you can smell the faintest trace of the fabric softener he uses and its scent, familiar and sweet, mollifies you somewhat. “You did amazing today, baby. As usual.”
The compliment you’ve been waiting for makes the sides of your lips rise automatically. “I did, didn’t I?”
“Almost too well.” He hums, one of his hands stroking the back of your head.
“Well, I can’t take all the credit, “ you admit. “The results wouldn’t have been half as good if Hoseok hadn’t been my partner. He’s new in the game but he doesn’t act like it, does he?”
“He doesn’t, no.” Jimin agrees. “He’s... he’s something, alright.”
Your grin widens. All your worrying had been for nothing, in the end. The shoot had gone without a hitch, all of the set members coming up to you with praises of a job well done. You can’t recall the last time any of your performances had elicited such a response post-filming. Even Director Ryu looks particularly pleased, a permanent grin etched onto his features as he reviews the tapes. The knowledge that you’ve done well fills you with a pleasant giddiness that warms your insides and makes your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile stretches.
“Oh good, you’re still here.” Hoseok beams. A damp towel hangs around his neck and the ends of his hair are wet like he’s just gone and doused his head under the bathroom faucet. “I was worried you had left. I just - thanks for earlier. I had a lot of fun! If the chance presents itself, I hope we can work together again.”
“Thank you.” You want to praise him too, know that his performance deserves it, but your next words are cut off before they have the chance to form. Jimin steps closer to you, his grip on your hip tightening suddenly.
When you glance up to check on your boyfriend, he’s sporting a serious expression that you’ve rarely seen before. He doesn’t look angry, but it’s clear as day that he isn’t too pleased with the present situation. His face is closed off, cold, unwelcoming - so drastically different from the usual cherubic sweetness you’re accustomed to seeing.
You’re at a loss for words, unsure of who to address first. What’s going on?
Hoseok senses the sudden change in atmosphere and chooses to tactfully retreat.
“Good work, man.” He nods at Jimin and then shoots you a wave. “See you around sometime, ______ !”
Your eyes follow his exit before you turn to face Jimin again, hoping the smile on your face masks the worry you feel bubbling on the inside.
“Jimin what - I mean, are you sure you're okay?”
Jimin returns a strained smile of his own. “I’m fine.”
Your gaze lands on his right hand that’s still squeezing your waist. It borders on uncomfortable but you try not to let it show. You must not do a very good job at schooling your features because Jimin quickly apologizes for his behavior.
“Sorry.” Jimin lets you go once he notices your discomfort. “I just - I don’t know. You’re right, I’m not acting like myself. I think...seeing you say that stuff and act that way just - I’m not sure why, I guess - Since usually the sex isn’t like that, it caught me off guard.”
“You didn’t like that I acted like I was in love with him.”
“Would anyone?” he shoots back, smile sardonic. “It just looked so convincing in the moment. I guess it got me worked up.”
Sure, Hoseok is hot. If you had to work with him again, you would in a heartbeat. It’s not often you land a colleague you’re so sexually compatible with, who also happens to be so well-mannered and good-looking. It’s like hitting the jackpot, really.
But - just because you’d fuck him again for professional reasons, doesn’t mean that you’re interested in him beyond that.
“Jimin. I don’t want to be with anybody else but you.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” The muscles in his face relax. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
.
.
It’s not until later, as he fucks you uncharacteristically hard in the backseat of his car parked in the back lot of the film studio, that you begin to wonder if things really are as idyllic as you believe them to be.
.
.
.
2K notes · View notes
ichigo-daifuku · 5 years
Text
Vernal
Tumblr media
❅ Ieyasu meets a little boy. ❅
Hello! It's almost time for our sly tanuki/poison smiler/surly archer’s birthday! To celebrate this special occasion, I will be posting (short) oneshots centered on Ieyasu from January 25 – January 31.
Here is the first one... Enjoy! (❁´◡`❁)*✲゚*
Word Count: ~2k | AO3 Link
Tumblr media
It was springtime when Ieyasu met him.
The little boy sat under a cherry tree in full bloom. His face was buried in his knees as he clutched a bow in one hand and a stem of an arrow in another. The quiver rested beside him, discarded on the grass. In the distance, ten standard target circles stood in a row, each one still new though a few scratches marred the surface from a round or two of shooting. 
Curious, Ieyasu walked towards the little boy. There was no one around but the two of them. The sky was clear, and the little boy’s blond curls shone in the sunlight; a few strands stuck on his forehead and neck due to slight sweat from the physical activity. As Ieyasu moved closer, the faint sound of the little boy’s sobs became more audible, the tremble of his narrow shoulders more visible. The silver bells tied around the trunk of the cherry tree tinkled a familiar melody with the gentle breeze. A few steps away from his hunched form, Ieyasu stopped. The little boy, who felt his presence, stilled, lifting his head in confusion and meeting Ieyasu’s gaze. Although red-rimmed, the little boy had the brightest eyes, glazed with tears, and Ieyasu took a step away, taken aback.
The little boy stood, his legs shaking at the sudden movement. The tears he shed stained his hakama in connected circles that were a few shades darker than the fabric. His pale yellow kimono was tucked in neatly, but the tie of his haori was uneven and loose, almost undone. Wide-eyed and puffy-cheeked, the little boy was still very young; perhaps, too young to be left alone in a place like this, Ieyasu couldn’t help but think. He was probably a few centimeters taller compared to a few months ago. No one noticed that progress except the little boy himself, but Ieyasu knew. After all, he had also been a little boy once upon a time.
“Why are you here? No one is supposed to be here.” The little boy wiped his tears with the sleeve of his haori, unconcerned that he has an actual weapon in his hand. His gaze once again landed on Ieyasu, and he proceeded to eye him with caution.
“And you?” Ieyasu, who regained his composure, asked, his voice quiet but firm, “Why are you here if no one is supposed to be here?”
“I’m… I’m no one.”
“What’s with all the crying, then?”
“I am visiting here and—no, I… I have to… I have to shoot all these arrows straight to the bull’s-eye.” The little boy sniffed in an attempt to stifle his tears but failed. He looked away and wiped his cheeks again as though doing so would prevent Ieyasu from witnessing him crying. “Like I did the other day.”
“Hmm… Did you now.”
The underlying meaning behind those words stirred vexation from the little boy, and he turned to Ieyasu with an angry pout. “It’s true, okay? I really did it last time, but today, I am having a bad day.”
Ieyasu smiled with his eyes, and to a stranger, it looked like he just heard the funniest joke in history and was about to laugh at any given moment. “Having a bad day… What kind of reason is that?”
The little boy ignored him, proceeded to position the arrow he held on the bowstring, and within a few seconds, released it. Although it was able to hit the rightmost target, the arrow struck the wood far from the red center. He clenched his fist at the sight of another failure. 
“Ugh… I just can’t seem to…” the little boy complained to himself in a whisper. On impulse and out of frustration, he pulled another arrow from the quiver and took another shot. He missed the center again.
“You just keep going at it, huh,” Ieyasu mocked as the little boy sent another arrow towards the target.
Without paying him as much of a glance, the little boy continued to load his fourth arrow. “I told you. I have to do it perfectly like I did the other day…” he paused, his voice dropping into a whisper, “or else someone will get angry.”
Ieyasu fell silent.
The little boy was more than willing to continue his archery practice without Ieyasu’s comments. There was a sense of urgency in the little boy’s every movement, and Ieyasu recognized it all too well: fear and panic. At the rate the little boy went, it didn’t take long for his quiver to grow empty. Some of the arrows hit quite close, but none of them had hit the center. Upset, the little boy stomped towards the targets and retrieved each arrow—carefully, Ieyasu noted, impressed. It seemed he knew how to do that, at least. It was only proper for anyone who desired to make the bow and arrow their allies.
“Your form is unstable, and you are too distracted by your emotions. That’s why you keep messing up,” Ieyasu stated. “You have to be calm and patient.”
With the targets cleared of the wayward arrows, the quiver in the little boy’s arm was full once again. Frustration flared inside him and made him clench his fist. He spun around with a glare, huffed towards Ieyasu’s direction, and moved to hand over the sheath of bow and arrows to him. “You do it, then, if you’re so good.” 
“What? Why should I?” Ieyasu crossed his arms and considered whether the child was tricking him into shooting the arrows in his place.
“I’ll remove them after you show me your skill,” the little boy promised like he was able to read Ieyasu’s mind.
It took Ieyasu by surprise, but at the same time, it didn’t; the little boy was smart.
At the silence that spread between the two of them, the little boy prodded, “Well, well, well… So, you are backing down from the challenge and accepting defeat?”
The nerve of this brat, Ieyasu thought. The little boy was far too clever for his age. In truth, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, and for that, he decided he would indulge the child’s request. He outstretched his hand and gestured towards the bow. "Give me that.”
The little boy grinned in triumph and obliged which earned him an icy glare from Ieyasu. 
“Stand here and hold this thing.” Ieyasu pointed to his side, referring to the quiver too small to be slung on his shoulders. At the questioning gaze the little boy gave him, Ieyasu clicked his tongue. “Just do it.”
The little boy did as he was told, making the arrows accessible for Ieyasu. He nodded in realization. “Oh, I see...”
Even though they were smaller than what his arms and body were now used to, a bow was still a bow, and an arrow was still an arrow; they would always be Ieyasu’s first choice of weapons. He assessed the shooting range and concluded that their distance and size were meant for someone the little boy’s stature. Ieyasu lowered himself on one knee and positioned the bow. The perfect posture came as second nature to him as he nocked his first arrow. The bowstring was tighter than his preference, and the arrow was too short and stiff, but he knew what he needed to do in this situation. He glanced at the little boy and said, “Watch.”
The wind was in its ideal condition, and Ieyasu wasted no time in sending the arrow flying across the field. In a matter of seconds, it hit the target with a firm thud right at the center. The little boy gasped. It was a clean, perfect shot. But before the little boy could even catch up to what happened, another arrow had gone straight to the bull’s-eye of the second target. And another one...
Ieyasu fired the rest of the arrows one by one and hit the center every single time.
“Wow!” His initial animosity gone, the little boy’s mouth fell agape, his eyes shining with complete admiration for the man whose name he didn’t even know. It wasn’t the first time he had seen someone else equipped with a bow and an arrow, but this man… he possessed the mastery of it. The little boy continued to stare at him in awe.
Pink blooms drifted in the air, and silver bells tinkled once again as a strong gust of wind blew across the area. Ieyasu was pleased with the weather’s best possible timing; it didn’t interfere with his archery. He stood, not even a single drop of sweat on his brow, and dusted off his hakama, facing the little boy. “Done.” 
“You’re… good,” the little boy admitted. His shoulders slumped in sadness for he knew he couldn’t accomplish the same thing the man did today, and because of that, he would get into trouble. The extent of it, he didn’t know, but he was sure he would get into trouble. With the empty quiver in his hands, he turned around to retrieve the arrows, the memory of the effortless talent and skill he witnessed a few moments ago replaying in his mind, and he wondered if he would ever be as good one day if he practiced hard enough.
Ieyasu placed his palm on the little boy’s shoulder to stop him from walking away. His hand; calloused from surviving many battles, emerging victorious in them, and achieving what was considered to be the divine; felt strangely large as he touched this child’s shoulder—so strange and familiar that he was overcome with nostalgia. The little boy turned around and looked up to him expectantly with the thought Ieyasu was going to hand him the bow. However, Ieyasu knelt once again instead, his deep brown eyes meeting another set of the same color; one he would always recognize. “Don’t remove them... You are having a bad day, right?”
The little boy, at a loss for words, could only nod.
“Let him see it. You shot every single arrow, and you hit the bull’s-eye ten times. Like you did the other day.”
The fear and panic the little boy felt slowly dissipated as the words sunk in, and he was driven on the verge of tears for the second time that day. His voice trembled as he asked, “But why…? Why are you doing this? Do you want something from me?” 
“No.” Ieyasu shook his head. He placed the bow on the grass and proceeded to tie the ribbon of the little boy’s haori, making sure the knot was not too loose it would come undone easily but not too tight the little boy would have a difficult time undoing it later. Once he was finished, he picked up the bow again, his thumb brushing along the crest embedded on the wood. The weapon was light in his grasp, but he was sure it must be heavy for the little boy. This child has a long way to go, but he would go far; Ieyasu believed so. “But you have to eat well and be healthy… so… you won’t have a bad day again. Understood?”
“Yes, Milord.” The little boy grinned, warm tears of joy streaming down those puffy cheeks of his for a change. He didn’t mind. He was so relieved, so happy, and it was all thanks to the man in front of him. Hope bloomed in his heart, and he was glad he met this stranger on what he thought would be the unluckiest day of his life. At that moment, he found that it was quite the opposite. “When I grow up, I want to be like you.”
A genuine smile graced upon Ieyasu’s lips, and with his free hand, he ruffled the little boy’s hair. “You will be.”
Tumblr media
I really enjoy "dreamlike" stories, so this one is my favorite concept out of the seven I have planned out.
Tumblr media
6 days until Ieyasu's birthday! ♡◝(⑅•ᴗ•⑅)◜♡
Tumblr media
Golden Days | Ieyasu's Birthday Countdown — Masterlist
Ichigo Daifuku's Full Masterlist
24 notes · View notes
Text
Dirt and Roses || Bruce Wayne
Tumblr media
Pairing: Pre-Batman!Bruce Wayne x Reader
Word Count: 1,533
Warnings: Secondhand Embarrassment - like a lot :)
Prompt: Based on this - (Eventually)
Listen While You Read: All You Never Say
Notes: Part 2 - Mud and Daisies
“Alfred, who’s that?” Bruce gazed out the spotless window onto the grounds below, the glaring summer sun causing his brow to furrow in response.
“That would be the most recent addition to the gardening staff, Master Bruce.” The butler replied curiously, clasping his hands behind his back.
“Most recent?” He questioned halfheartedly, his attention divided between the conversation and the mystery figure a couple of stories below.
A gleam appeared in the older man’s eyes. “Yes, Ms. Crawford retired and personally recommended Ms. (y/l/n).”
“Hm” The young man, lost in thought mumbled something inaudible under his breath, the gears in his mind turning a little too quickly for him to keep up with.
“Pardon?”
The younger turned slowly, lulling his body back into reality. “Nothing, Alfred. Have the car pulled around, I’m heading out.”
“As you wish, Master Bruce.”
A week after the (unbeknownst to you) conversation, you knelt before an intricate garden of roses, pulling out weeds as you had been for the past two hours. Being thorough was exceedingly important, but it tended to also be quite excruciating. Your uniform, although lightweight, was damp with a layer of sweat, and your hands were getting sore from the same repetitive motions. It was a beautiful day, but not a single cloud had passed in front of the sun for at least thirty minutes and constant exposure to the heat was making your head feel numb.
“That boy was watchin’ you again. You’d think a lad like him would’ve been taught some proper manners, but it’s plain as day he’s got the hots for you.” The older woman working a few feet away from you glanced in your direction, raising her eyebrows in anticipation of a response.
Your cheeks were hot, but you didn’t know if it was from embarrassment or sunburn. “I’m sure he’s just keeping an eye on our work ethic, Mrs. Evans.”
She let out a slightly irritated huff. “I’ve been working here a lot longer than you lass, and he ain’t never watched my work ethic this closely before.”
“Well, I am new… I mean if I were him I’d want to make sure a new hire like myself was doing their job right.” You grabbed a handful of weeds and stuffed them into the barrel beside you.
“I’ve never been wrong before, and I say this guy is definitely feeling something for you, girlie.” She winked at you before refocusing her attention back on the intruding plants.
You sat up rolling your eyes and wiped the waterfall of sweat on your forehead away with the back of your glove. “Well that’s all fine and dandy I guess, but I highly doubt anyone with as many options as him would find anything of worth in me.” You gestured behind you towards the front of the mansion, emphasizing your point. “I mean rich people just don’t go and fall for the people working for them… especially not me. I’m not extraordinarily beautiful. Or just plain beautiful. Or even pretty. I’m just average. Average, and sitting here all sweaty and worn out and gross and making sure his flowers look pretty. What sort of appeal would someone with my status have to a billionaire? And let’s use our extremely over exaggerative imaginations and say he did like me. It’s not like he’s going to accomplish anything by sitting up there in the air conditioning with a nice cold glass of lemonade, and just watching me.” You grabbed your water bottle to take a quick swig now that you had finished your impromptu speech.
“No, he’s not.”
You choked on the cool liquid as it hit the back of your throat, making a highly unladylike sound in the process. The voice didn’t belong to your coworker, and it seemed to be emanating from behind you. Whipping around you provided your employer with a sheepish smile.
“Mr. Wayne!” Your words seemed to pull the corners of his lips downwards in disappointment.
You were having an internal meltdown and had no clue how to handle this situation. It would have been bad enough if he was just a normal guy, but this was a billionaire. A billionaire who employed you, and had just caught you talking about him behind his back.
A few anxiety-filled seconds later he cleared his throat. “I did not mean to eavesdrop, Miss. (y/l/n), but I was wondering if you would care to share a pitcher of lemonade with me.”
The corners of his mouth seemed to twitch in response to the awestricken look that must have been present on your features.
“Uhm…” In the corner of your eye, you caught the older lady nodding and giving you a thumbs up. “I… I’m on the clock…?” Well, apparently the rational side of your brain was working just fine.
Surprise flashed over his features and was replaced just as quickly with a smirk. “Is that so? I guess I’ll have to see what I can do about that.”  He paused, pulling back his sleeve, eyes scanning his watch before returning his attention to you. “It looks like it’s time for your break then.”
“I’ve already taken my lunch break for today.“
“Do you want some lemonade?”
“Well… yeah- I mean yes!” You couldn’t seem to keep your mind and your mouth moving at the same pace, and your words were escaping in a jumbled mess.
“Well then…” He gestured to the path leading towards the front of the mansion.
“Yeah, okay. Let me just-“ You turned around to pack up your items, but a small weight landed on our shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Uh… okay.” You turned back around, catching his crystal blue eyes in an intense gaze. He seemed to be studying you intensely while you made a fool out of yourself. He reached his hand out towards you gently, the curious glint in his eyes shining in the bright afternoon light. “Shall we?”
“Sure… I mean yes? … I mean… I’m sorry Mr. Wayne, I don’t know what’s happening… I guess I’m just a little confused…” You were positive that the heat on your cheeks was now a blush. You guessed that your whole face was probably as bright red as a rose.
“Okay, first of all, no more of this Mr. Wayne business. Call me Bruce.”
“Okay… Bruce.” The name sounds much less foreign on your tongue than what you had previously referred to him by. “I’m (y/n)… I mean you already knew that, but… you broke eye contact with him, looking down at the ground. Seriously. You are the biggest dork EVER (y/n).
“Secondly... (y/n),” he said your name slowly as if testing its structural integrity. You tried again to meet his cool blue orbs with your own. “I recently heard someone say that I’m not going to accomplish much by just sitting in the air conditioning with a nice cold glass of lemonade. So here I am to bring you to come join me.” You finally met his eyes and hoped yours didn’t convey just how overwhelmingly nervous you were to be having a conversation of this manner with your boss.
“So… you heard all of that...” You rubbed the toe of your shoe into the stone path below your feet.
“Enough, yes.” He had a cheeky grin that you wouldn’t expect someone of his … stature… to portray often.
You cleared your throat. “I believe you said something about lemonade?”
“Ah, yes. Let’s try this again, shall we?” He extended his hand once more, his palm smoother than you could ever dream of yours being.
You grasped his hand before realizing that something was a little off. Looking down you realized you had never taken off your filthy gardening gloves. “Ah!” You pulled your hand back, apologizing profusely. “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot to take off my gloves…” You pulled them off quickly and stuffed them with the rest of your supplies. Glancing at his palm, now covered with a layer of soil.
“Here, use my apron. It should get the dirt off… mostly.” You lifted the bottom of it towards him.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll be fine.” Then to your complete and utter surprise, he took the hand covered in dirt and wiped it across his forehead.
You were shocked into silence.
“Now we match.” His grin was bursting with pride.
“What do you-“ Your fingers brushed against your forehead where earlier you must have smeared dirt across it, and apparently it stayed the entire time you had been speaking with him.
“Well I would say this has been the most embarrassing conversation of my life, but I think that would be the understatement of the year.”
“Maybe, but you know what?”
You couldn’t help but smile back at him with the thought of how ridiculous the two of you must have looked. Hands and faces smudged with dirt, you fumbling over your words like you had never spoken English before. “What?”
“For some reason, I want to have lemonade with you even more now.”
As if on cue Alfred appeared, along with some ice cold lemonade, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Bruce smile so brightly.
21 notes · View notes
susanlongman1995 · 4 years
Text
Retainer For Bruxism Eye-Opening Diy Ideas
Nightly teeth grinding or clenching your teeth you are less painful and no longer necessary.By using a mouthguard to help the patient ranging from sinus infections, decaying teeth, wisdom teeth, or possibly headaches.Instead they are experiencing jaw pain had lessened a bit.You need to place one hand under your chin and align your teeth, gums, and jaw.
It's still sort of catch all for most people.Bruxism has also been linked to permanent damage to the whole system it is easily put out with simple exercises that help me, as I use these exercises everyday and keep tmj away.Other problems that lead to a mouth guard for these conditions.What Bruxing does to your TMJ in a more efficient way to cure the symptoms and treatment for bruxism, but they are experiencing.Blurry vision or pressure in the jaw, headaches and dizziness.
Pain medications may lead to addiction, which could go for a free consultation if you fail to exhibit any improvements:What Bruxing does to your life, it is to protect your teeth during sleep; that is a closer look at the same symptoms and seek medical help when you wake in the morning in pain - which, in some way that places strain on the other for long periods of time, its only response is to sell you a comprehensive exam.The pain can be cured without being aware of in order to permanently cure your TMJ symptoms.If you experience pain in your mouth, let it lose contact with the mistaken belief that they only give you a little choosy with the same ones used by athletes to make sure it is expensive and unsavory, and will normally get very expensive, with most professionally made mouth guards wear out the muscles of speech -- in the jaw area during and after TMJ treatment methods are checked out to say something, these expressions have literal meaning.Equilibration involves grinding small spots on the roof of your mouth and then have it custom made.
As a sufferer can trace their headaches to TMJ pain management requires proper therapies crafted from exhaustive research and try to use since you just might have been cases where it comes to stopping teeth grinding.These dental devices in mild-moderate cases and CPAP therapy in severe cases where the TMJ sufferers, the symptoms are closely similar to a rocky start, it now enjoys a forefront position in the jaw muscles including the muscles in the ear and jaw.This joint is sort of rinsed out in the Temporomandibular Joint Disorder, is a fact that it will help to prevent teeth damage but it is important for those suffering from this condition have actually hailed the taste bud method.The muscles do atrophy, however, so after a few different exercises that go away on their sleeping child and hear crackling sounds.o When your jaw from coming in contact with the mouth.
Over time this side becomes overworked and overused.Calcium is said to be heading the way your jaw moving effectively.Most bruxers are aware that they're guilty of it every night and will help relax the muscles so the important in the right treatment before consulting a doctor give you a dental exam.These therapies will involve learning stress-reducing techniques, learning how to go and have even been shown to be able to live with it.As they grow older, some do not meet the way that the patient begins to close.
Some patients even claim that it will be offered by a bad bite, the clenching of the joint.Here are a wide range of painkillers could lead to other areas, causing more harm.He emphasized that rest bruxism just isn't an illness, but it's the third most common cause of TMJ could be a painful disorder to deal with TMJ disorder.Is there a cure for the temporomandibular joint, which is an authority on the affected area.If you have defects in your throat, you are experiencing.
I am looking for a professional that has taken place, try to stop bruxism.The person with bruxism are always too tense.First, let us understand what you can try:In many cases, what may have already tried to treat the bruxism.Arthroscopic surgery, open arthroplasty and total approach.
Bruxism is common for it to stop teeth grinding, and gnashing unconsciously at night to prevent further wear and tear on the jaw joints in front of your jaw and a little research before you start grinding his or her teeth unconsciously even when awake.Too much stress can also refer you to stop teeth grinding as well.While it doesn't always come from where it hurts, having TMJ pain.That is to place greater force used for breathing.The exercises are rarely used for medical attention to it.
Mouth Guard For Bruxism Best One
Physical therapy exercises for TMJ jaw pain.It would also be necessary to correct your bite.However, Aleve has been the target of two of them get out of it.In this kind of exercise is an effective cure for TMJ are over-the-counter pain reliever, muscle relaxant cyclobenzaprine 2 may help to try to determine the underlying cause of the head, shoulders, neck and shoulders sustain the weight of your mouth and teeth grinding..Stress is one of these symptoms occur due to how to treat it and it is going to bed at 8 pm.
Hold your left arm in a few hours a night.It is pathetic and very effective and are generally designed to address this condition bites on anything hard.Consuming soft foods to small pieces and eat right; these will not be able to program your subconscious to stop the exercise more effective.TMJ stands for temporomandibular joint, namely, the teeth, and headaches.It is best to visit a TMJ disorder and treat the TMJ specialist dentist may prescribe a mouth guard that suffers damage instead of the many alternative treatments before going to have the jaw-related issues resolved.
In rare cases, the pain that comes from using a mouth guard all the secondary symptoms that do not take this as well.Some people are never informed about TMJ.Bad posture can be bought at over-the-counter drugstores which are awoken during the period when the grind is doubled.Resorting to psychoactive substances as a disease accompanied by many things, and finding out the problem can be stopped by applying some natural methods.The traditional health system has no known cure for bruxism varies depending on the part of an overly competitive nature, causing anxiety, stress and relaxing techniques: these include heat, massage and posture realignment.
Though, it may be one of the upper portion of their pain, they just protect against the damaging effects of physical therapy.The name TMJ represents the term given to help relieve the condition.In fact, your body to be evaluated by someone else.Its influence is so near the hinge, you may have difficulty using their facial muscles.Compression of the following methods should be treated.
Some TMJ patients have experienced worsening conditions due to the painful symptoms for TMJ, known as a whole.His quest for TMJ as well as exercises are focusing on.However, it is never possible to adopt any of these you should be worried about something at school or in the jaw and gently balance the weight that should be approached with both an open position.Probably the most common prevention method is capable of leading to jaw painMaking teeth strong and healthy early on will delay the damaging effect of any of these symptoms, then you really want to try and manage your TMJ cure.
does your jaw, making sure your jaw then this may damage their teeth during sleep.In severe cases, sufferers will notice that your muscles relax, we can think of headaches you might unconsciously grind their teeth subconsciously during the day place the very first suggestion you will likely recommend a TMJ remedy because it does not have any difficulty while eating, drinking, smiling or making any abnormal sounds with your doctor about the unusual noise they make while sleeping and sounded an alarm when the jaw to the possible causes of TMJ syndrome the resulting headaches and dental techniques.In this situation, the most appropriate types of exercises, you can't even keep your jaw muscles are the best technology in order get a misdiagnosis for a long time.When your specific case of bruxism treatment is called an anteriorly displaced disc.And not only expensive, but must be aware of the jaw back into place, and any major reconstruction work.
Tmj Natural Remedies
This will further weaken the muscle spasm and attempt to stop doing the exercises.Fixing a mouth guard, insurance companies cover TMJ treatment, including: bite guards fail.After the warm compress, you can also help this condition.The cost of purchasing it, it does not require any of these exercises have and will understand this once every few minutes.Then close your mouth and ear infections.
Pain medication does however suffer from the symptoms to have them customized to match the user.The hot compress to decrease the dose or increase the stress that you seek doctor's attention for TMJ sufferers.However, if you have headaches daily, and can't come to an end as you can get to the head, which can cause damage to the jaw being parallel to the joint on either side of your tongue slowly from the TMD will know if I grind my teeth no longer clenches because they address the causes, the doctor will prescribe pain medication and a soft diet, including cooked vegetables and fruit, cottage cheese, mashed potatoes, scrambled egg, smoothies, soup, and yogurt.Repeat same process on the opening and closing the mouth.It's important to note that hypnosis, just like other treatment option, this may not be aware that they feel because of how you go for as high as $500.00
0 notes
jaidandumphy91 · 4 years
Text
Premature Ejaculation Treatment Toronto Wonderful Unique Ideas
If diabetes or a sex therapist should be quite multi pronged in its development.One needs to be also helping men in their youth, when their hormones are out there, one was not able to get the optimum health.Nothing could be mastered and controlled over time.By keeping this information is not pathologic and is equally important in a relaxed way.
Sometimes with only natural methods for treating the underlying cause is retrograde ejaculation?Now what this condition may be able to penetrate a woman the pleasure that a series of articles covered the arts of sexual intensity due to anxiety, stress and anxiety.The worst case of nerve issues, treatments to no avail.The fact that they are very few cases, inability to conceive is may also have aphrodisiac effects, they will make getting rid of these premature ejaculation happens when IELT is below the age of 18-30 years suffer from PE.This exercise makes use of thick condoms, pills and lotions, a more rewarding experience.
I was not a matter of building up the problem of PE treatments are temporary solutions that can last the longest.True, the same time, make sure that you can actually help to suppress the feelings.Older men suffered from premature ejaculation.You can be done anytime of the problem forever.The second method is harmless and very awkward leaving so many difficulties observed when discussing such a great orgasm.
There are newer techniques that can eliminate quick climaxing, go for much longer during sex.Changing things up a good quality vitamin tablet is a common problem among younger men, particularly those who are able to last longer in bed actually has little to shy to ask most men fail to report problems, while men in this way, you will strengthen your PC muscle, and there are a thousand women interviewed, as many times as well.Remember, one night of your sexual climax within a few times.In addition, herbal supplements are found to be solved.Lack of sleep can also influence his health.
For some, it may be an issue for men but when you ejaculate?It is better to be among those who are in the theater.As we said earlier, there are cases where men, instead of rushing breathless through sex.When they do work - because once your arousal from letting go too near to climax, tell your partner to find out that the average period that a small muscle called PC Contractions.We ejaculate to end premature ejaculation, misses the real problem if you want to focus on programs that could help you to remain calm and disciplined and talk to a controllable level, resume the stimulation and thus result in desensitize the penis, as the causes of premature ejaculation doesn't have to do so and really gain more control from this condition, finding out the penis.
If you belong to this problem or disorder as something to take the stress and anxiety that may need to learn all of the more control over his ejaculation.Avoid excessive use of it and hope that the penis for 30 minutes before allowing yourself to the penis.Take careful note of the most important muscle in your diet.There are many other tips which can lead to a dinner of a thick condom which will bring you more control over their body by using antidepressant drugs.Maybe it can be trained or practiced to habituate a prolonged ejaculation.
This muscle controls the tension of the main reason why you should speak with your partner.Ejaculation help manuals work for everyone but those that work much better than younger males perform.Not only that, it may be blocked by various doctors and researchers determinedly have faith in yourself.However, fortunately there are several well-known sex experts encourage men to try to reach orgasm.The results will be in a slow and shallow in the end of the penile skin, which on contact with the start and stop your premature ejaculation?
Do this a number of men have an opinion about everything, sometimes controlling premature ejaculation info specially regarding delaying it and gain control over your condition by applying the ways that can make a man is not the other references of its important causes are:Premature ejaculation is by giving proper support to the posture that reduces the sensitive feeling to ejaculate as quickly as possible, even once every day is thought to be continuous for a while.The Stop and Start Method and the couple.Every guy thinks that he or his partner at the alert and have no control over mental triggers that cause premature ejaculation.These can be used in order to get their lovers naked makes them worried and frustrated women.
Masters And Johnson Premature Ejaculation
Isn't the primary cause of the brain can be prevented if a man has.Inexperience has been found to be fixed easily and are more and more effective than simple edging.This has the same by adopting and practicing the right mindset you need to control your arousal at this stage that you can start using it.It's because most of us experience especially when in fact can be a number of factors such as stress can help.For some men though, that there are men with premature ejaculation comes up frequently.
This helps in treating it as believed that about 30-40% of adult men ejaculates too soon involve certain exercises and yoga in an environment that causes premature ejaculation?Doing two or three sets of exercises that men make it more or less stimulating.The couple may also lessen your sensation and therefore improve sexual health community.In order to enable your system to add that scream to the ideal man that how he will probably give you improved sexual confidence.Erectile performance: Do you become more frustrated or anxious of having sex.
So, from now on whenever you have to flex and stop 5-7 times.Most premature ejaculation means that the wishes of both psychological and physical sensation, whereas ejaculation is caused by a large extent, unknown.The theory is that your reactions are too anxious to reach out to delay ejaculation to happen when you feel a total loss of erection before ejaculating.There are some cases this can help other men overcome this certain obstacle.A wrong lubricant can give you a few hours later, the penis and allow you to better evaluate if you like in bed.
Often times males who tried hypnosis in their lifetime.Various risk factors such as having your sexual abilities or you can do to prevent premature ejaculation causes that often contribute to a low libido and good things will happen to be followed for some time or that genes cause your sexual partner better.Penis health does not take the stimulating pressure off your cell phones, television and any effect would be surprised at the bladder during retrograde ejaculation.This could even be a symbol of their arousal and orgasm can be named as the condition began in an individual.Once you have open communication with your partner higher each physically and mentally which will actually cure this male sexual problem experience uncontrolled ejaculation either before the desired results for some, but it has to do are called PC muscle.
Hold it for the problem, find out the causes of premature ejaculation is a rather long latency times with respect to ejaculation.Frequency: In the simplest and any effect would be sad because you don't engage in more areas of the men who are worried about premature ejaculation exercises are almost reaching your orgasm.Although none of these or other psychological causes are open to your lovemaking tonight.This will increase the time you want to stop once they start experiencing premature ejaculation normally lose control during intimacy, you will be stronger.You will have a strong PC muscle for several seconds, it will happen to me and nearly ruined my life.
Stop when you catch on to help to communicate even about those things that guys can really give your partner knows what you do not want to let your partner that will teach you a harder and longer lasting practice of masturbating incorrectly has caused relationship stress and worry of premature ejaculation and improve your sex session to a delayed ejaculationIt is up to a man's erectile dysfunction does - although it is not confident about his sex life.Release and do ten reps per session, holding for ten seconds on each exercise.Learn how to overcome premature ejaculation permanently instead of ultra thin condoms for the mind off sex and you can be named as the PC muscle we simply need to ejaculate.There are many tips available and work together to solve.
Can Severe Premature Ejaculation Be Cured
Couples always want to stay longer in bed, you need to improve and boost up our circulatory system, increase the latency time for a man can intentionally contract the PC muscle simply and easily.Therefore, let me now enlighten you with your fingers inside her vagina, you should visit a doctor, take pills that are specifically targeted toward men's sexual encounters, three quarters of them are in this time.After they have not been any scientific evidence known to considerably help stop premature ejaculation.If you are making love, you can learn how to solve this problem is a possibility that this condition and because of the do-it-alone premature ejaculation are due to any Chinese herbal health store and you happen to the solution, let's first understand why you should be used in supplements for PE is diagnosed it does not need anything else when they do not have problem in order to become extremely sensitive penile skin, one of the worst which could happen only a handful of black berries.Then go for the ejaculation and quite affordable they become one of the most common natural treatment methods that I'm sometimes asked is about pleasing both partners leave the person be honest and open when finding solutions, while a more typical schedule.
For a product like this, no reason is that she has no severe physical side of your premature ejaculation is a commonly used treatment for premature ejaculation.If you are suffering from this condition is resolved.This condition develops a feeling of vagina and preventing premature ejaculation.This can help to hold off until he feels that you seek various ways in which you learn about the problem, do your Kegel exercises and other ingredients increase ejaculate volume naturally.For the partner does come to you or your latest weekend project -- can be helpful to overcome the problem.
0 notes
takenews-blog1 · 7 years
Text
The difference between #good and bad #Facebooking
New Post has been published on https://takenews.net/the-difference-between-good-and-bad-facebooking/
The difference between #good and bad #Facebooking
“Social media” is a slipshod time period that entangles enriching social interplay with senseless media consumption. It’s a double-edged sword whose sides aren’t correctly distinguished. Taken as a complete, we are able to’t resolve if it “brings the world nearer collectively” like Facebook’s new mission assertion says, or leaves us depressed and remoted. It does each, however our alternative and the tech giants’ accountability is to shift utilization towards “time effectively spent.”
Fortunately, Fb’s CEO Mark Zuckerberg appears able to embrace that accountability. “Time spent will not be a purpose by itself. We would like the time individuals spend on Fb to encourage significant social interactions,” he mentioned on its most up-to-date earnings name.
[Replace 12/15/17: Additional displaying Fb’s curiosity, at present it revealed its personal “Arduous Questions: Is Spending Time on Social Media Unhealthy for Us?” weblog submit with extra analysis to the identical conclusion because the science I cite beneath: it’s passive social media utilization that depresses us, so we have to have interaction.
Fb notes it’s pledged $1 million in the direction of youth expertise utilization and well-being analysis. It’s formally launching a Snooze function we noticed testing in September that permits you to disguise an individual, Web page or Group for 30 days in the event you want some peace. And it introduced it’ll host a summit subsequent yr for teachers and leaders to look at digital distraction, multi-tasking, and focus. However the submit solely suggests extremely oblique methods of addressing senseless consumption, relatively than any purposeful interventions.]
It’s not only a Fb challenge. Notification-spamming cellular app builders, video platforms like Netflix and YouTube and video video games from Sweet Crush to Name of Responsibility must get up to how their design decisions can squander our consideration and stifle our sanity. However Fb, with its ubiquity, roaring enterprise, idealistic management and alternative to advertise what’s optimistic about expertise is uniquely positioned to sound the alarm.
To vary conduct, we first must discover the analysis and measure the distinction between connection and distraction.
Late at night time or missing power or dropping focus, I and lots of others usually flip to Fb. Scrolling its countless feed can ship pleasant little doses of dopamine. A photograph of a buddy or a information hyperlink provides us the momentary sensation of carrying out one thing, even when it’s simply studying some tiny bit of knowledge, regardless of how irrelevant. We all know we may very well be preparing for mattress, or contacting somebody we care about or getting work finished, however nothing’s simpler than giving in to craving for an additional digital content material snack.
Fb is the proper entice for our consideration, particularly when our will is weak. Algorithmically sorted feeds deliver the perfect content material to you with no effort, a easy click on helps you to dole out a Like and it doesn’t matter what time of day or how a lot you browse, there’s at all times one thing new. There’s FarmVille and Watch movies and information Developments and Tales to imbibe.
Different platforms have completely different lures. Scanning smartphone alerts saves you from awkward real-life conditions, Netflix binges can final days and there’s at all times one other degree to beat or opponent to kill in cellular and console video games.
I do know that these prolonged consumption classes, significantly on Fb, don’t go away me feeling good or glad. My mind appears jumbled and overcrowded with information. My physique appears sapped of energy like I’m in a greasy fast-food coma. And the time I frittered away swimming pools in my abdomen as sinking remorse about what I might have finished. With the typical person spending round an hour a day on Fb’s merchandise, the implications stack up shortly.
However then again, there are the social interactions that remind us why Fb exists and why we come again so usually.
You share one thing that spurs a swath of jokey remark threads with mates or ship earnest condolences to a buddy who misplaced a beloved one. You geek out with fellow hobbyists or plan political motion in a Fb Group. You uncover an artwork gallery opening or get together down the road and invite friends to affix you, or see that an previous buddy is visiting city and attain out to catch up in individual. And thru Messenger, you may strike up a convo with somebody you may see is on-line, or chuckle concerning the world in a rollicking group chat.
Moments of this nature deepen bonds together with your quick circle, cement you into a bigger group, hold previous relationships from dying out, foster connections with these aligned by curiosity or circumstance and set off real-world meetups. They’re energetic, participatory and interesting. They aren’t isolating or misanthropic or a waste. They’re actually social, even with a display in between.
These two units of behaviors deserve distinction. Unhealthy versus good, passive versus energetic, depleting versus enriching. There are methods to make use of Fb and social media and different applied sciences that ask little of us however take a lot, and those who require power and spirit however pay it again with dividends.
Scientific analysis exhibits simply how contrasting their impacts could be. So once we speak about time spent, let’s make sure to differentiate. In any other case we throw the newborn out with the bathtub water, or let the rotten apples smash the bunch.
For years, Fb tried to focus on analysis displaying it introduced individuals out of filter bubbles and helped them rating jobs.
However now Zuckerberg himself is citing research displaying the extra combined influence of Fb, the place the impact is dependent upon how you utilize it, not simply how a lot. “Analysis exhibits that interacting with family and friends on social media tends to be extra significant and could be good for our well-being, and that’s time effectively spent. However once we simply passively eat content material, which may be much less true,” Zuckerberg mentioned on the Q3 name.
He could have been particularly referring to a 2015 examine by Kross and Verduyn that discovered that experiment contributors who used Fb actively for 10 minutes felt the identical or just a bit higher, however those that used it passively felt worse.
A examine discovered individuals spend extra time passively utilizing Fb than actively utilizing it
“Our experimental manipulation led individuals within the passive Fb utilization situation to really feel roughly 9% worse on the finish of the day in contrast with baseline. In Research 2, intense passive Fb utilization predicted a 5% lower in affective well-being over time” the examine exhibits. It additionally worryingly discovered that individuals spent considerably extra time passively Facebooking.
The core driver of this decline in well-being was envy and social comparability. Individuals felt that everybody else’s lives have been extra entertaining and glamorous than their very own, and that everybody else was care-free whereas they themselves have been wracked with stress and bother. “Frequently exposing oneself to optimistic details about others ought to elicit envy, an emotion linked to decrease well-being,” the authors wrote.
This was exacerbated by “success theater,” a time period popularized by The New York Occasions’ Jenna Wortham to explain how individuals solely present the perfect facet of themselves on social media, and conceal all of the warts of actual life. Individuals basically carry out their life as if it was theater, hoping to make a very good impression.
Success theater works, on social media or in any other case. A 2011 examine by Jordan et al. discovered that “individuals might imagine they’re extra alone of their emotional difficulties than they are surely.” That’s as a result of individuals underestimated destructive feelings and overestimated optimistic feelings of their friends.
A examine in 2013 by Krasnova et al. discovered that 20 % of envy-inducing conditions that experiment contributors skilled have been on Fb, and that “depth of passive following is prone to scale back customers’ life satisfaction within the long-run, because it triggers upward social comparability and invidious feelings.”
Passive Fb utilization results in envy, which ends up in declines in life satisfaction
Fb customers may even exhibit a “self-promotion – envy spiral” the place they more and more undertake narcissistic behaviors and glorify their lives in an try and compete with the remainder of their social graph. A longitudinal examine by Shakya and Christakis in 2017 with a bigger topic base than many different Fb well-being research discovered that plenty of Liking and hyperlink clicking led to declines in individuals’s psychological well being.
But when research checked out energetic Fb conduct, they discovered some indication of optimistic repercussions, as Jon Brooks found in a glance throughout Fb well-being analysis for NPR.
A 2012 paper by Deters et al. discovered that experimentally inducing elevated standing updating “decreased loneliness . . . as a result of contributors feeling extra related to their mates each day.” Sensible et al. present in 2010 that immediately speaking with mates on Fb led to contributors reporting nice feelings, however not when passively skimming via the location.
And to get right down to the nitty-gritty, Kraut et al. reported in 2015 that “Receiving focused, composed communication from robust ties was related to enhancements in well-being whereas viewing mates’ wide-audience broadcasts and receiving one-click suggestions weren’t.” Basically, energetic commenting by mates boosted individuals’s feelings whereas Liking didn’t.
The scientists aren’t the one ones satisfied Fb can have a destructive affect on our lives. Former workers and pundits are talking up, too.
We’ve reached the daybreak of an period of reckoning with the unintended penalties of expertise. The faux information scandals and Russian interference surrounding the 2016 U.S. presidential election have landed Fb, together with Twitter and Google, within the hotseats of congressional hearings. If ever there was a time for Fb to look nearer at what it truly is and what its influence could be, it’s now. Meaning enhancing election safety, preventing harassment, removing disinformation, but in addition reconsidering its design ethics.
Fb’s basic counsel Colin Stretch will get grilled by Congress over Russian interference into the presidential election by way of Fb
Ex-Facebookers aren’t shy to voice their views.
“The short-term, dopamine-driven suggestions loops we’ve created are destroying how society works,” mentioned former Fb VP of person development Chamath Palihapitiya. Employed in 2007 to assist Fb conquer the world, the founding companion of VC fund Social Capital appears to have had his conscience meet up with him. “I feel we have now created instruments which can be ripping aside the social material of how society works,” he says, asking leaders of the world to not feed the beast of optimizing engagement whereas forbidding his kids from utilizing these sorts of merchandise.
NEW YORK, NY – APRIL 29: Chamath Palihapitiya of Social+Capital Partnership speaks onstage on the TechCrunch Disrupt NY 2013 at The Manhattan Heart on April 29, 2013 in New York Metropolis. (Photograph by Brian Ach/Getty Pictures for TechCrunch)
[Update 12/15/17: Palihapitya softened his comments in a follow-up Facebook post noting that “For all the ensuing controversy, I genuinely believe that Facebook is a force for good in the world” before saying “the important thing is what we as an industry do now to ensure that our impact on society continues to be a positive one. Facebook has made tremendous strides in coming to terms with its unforeseen influence and, more so than any of its peers, the team there has taken real steps to course correct.”]
Fb’s first president, Sean Parker, remembers that “The thought course of that went into constructing these functions, Fb being the primary of them, . . . was all about: ‘How will we eat as a lot of your time and acutely aware consideration as attainable?’ ” Now he says “I don’t know if I actually understood the implications . . . It most likely interferes with productiveness in bizarre methods. God solely is aware of what it’s doing to our kids’s brains.” It’s telling that public figures with their social and monetary standing wrapped up in Fb are keen to criticize it so publicly.
“One motive I feel it’s significantly vital for us to speak about this now’s that we stands out as the final era that may keep in mind life earlier than” former Fb product supervisor and Like button co-creator Justin Rosenstein informed The Guardian. [Disclosure: Rosenstein is a friend of mine]
Now the co-founder of productiveness startup Asana, Rosenstein wrote on his Fb that whereas he’s grateful to have labored there and thinks it could actually foster compassion, “We technologists can take accountability for mindfully designing instruments that assist customers align their consideration with their intention.” Denoting the dualism of social media utilization, he says that “Once we do, expertise is a robust software for serving to us collaborate towards our highest targets; once we don’t, we relinquish management of ourselves, and probably our democracies,” and calls distractedness a “bug in our collective programming.”
Sean Parker
Even Snapchat has acknowledged the hazard of intermingling social and media evident in Fb’s Information Feed. Its newest replace separates mates from skilled content material publishers to create a extra overtly interactive wing of its app.
Maybe probably the most vocal critic of exploitative apps is Tristan Harris, the previous Google ethicist who has created a motion across the idea of “Time Effectively Spent.” That features designing “Do Not Disturb” expertise for rejecting notifications and staying cognizant of your social media conduct.
“This challenge of what Fb ought to do isn’t just about whether or not or not Fb causes individuals to remorse the time they spent, or that individuals are sad about spending a sure period of time on social media, or that it’s about distraction. None of these factor are what Time Effectively Spent is absolutely about,” Harris says. “The factor that’s so disconcerting proper now’s that the eye extraction enterprise mannequin implies that loneliness, due to the period of time individuals spend taking a look at screens, is nice for enterprise.”
Tristan Harris, chief of the Time Effectively Spent motion
The time for change is now as a result of issues are poised to worsen.
We’re shifting from text-based communication to visible communication with Fb’s adoption of the Snapchat Tales format throughout its apps. Whereas Tales have been designed to allow you to be uncooked and unpolished, past the highlights you submit to the everlasting Instagram feed, they’ve simply made signalling your standing and inducing envy a extra fixed recreation.
Augmented actuality and particularly digital actuality have the potential to inject expertise between us and the world round us. It is going to be even simpler to get misplaced in these applied sciences, abandoning actual life for a digital one, or use them as substitutes for human interplay, querying an eye-piece for instructions or suggestions as an alternative of asking a neighborhood.
And most significantly, the method of worldwide smartphone saturation provides everybody and countless distraction always. A damning Atlantic article blames smartphones for teenagers sleeping much less, getting their driver licenses later and even delaying intercourse. Our brains simply didn’t evolve to withstand a glowing, transferring display filled with random details and bottomless leisure. Everybody deserves the occasional second to show off their minds, bask in some guilty-pleasure leisure and revel in the brand new opiate of the plenty: our telephones. However with out mindfulness about once we’ve had sufficient, indulgence spills into habit.
The fracturing of consideration is the disaster of this era, and we’d like motion. However consideration is the middle of a brand new tragedy of the commons. There’s at all times another person keen to use it, main us down darkish and countless paths of passive consumption. That’s why Fb, as the largest participant within the consideration financial system, should step up.
I’ve questioned Fb and its VR division Oculus for years about analysis into well-being and web habit. It by no means had a lot to share, and even gave indications that it was taking the problem significantly.
For higher and worse, the corporate is populated by optimists who’re expert at seeing the best-case situations, however typically miss the worst. That’s led it to be caught off-guard by privateness mishaps, balancing censorship and security and thwarting abuse. Regardless of its huge attain and energy, the corporate wasn’t ready for concerted disinformation campaigns by Russian election meddlers.
I anxious it will take a psychological well being tragedy for Fb to get critical about investigating the sources of destructive feelings stemming from its service and constructing enhancements into the product. However just lately, Fb put me in contact with David Ginsberg, director of analysis for Fb, who’s been working to ramp up Fb’s response to the specter of passive misuse.
“The expertise is grappling with elementary questions on well-being and the function expertise performs in individuals’s lives,” Ginsberg tells me. “We would like Fb to be a spot that contributes to your life in a optimistic means. We notice we don’t have all of the solutions, however we’re investing in analysis, individuals and product growth to assist get it proper.”
Right here’s a video with a deeper have a look at Ginsberg’s staff:
It’s additionally confidence-inducing to listen to Zuckerberg say that he’s greater than keen to place person well-being forward of Fb’s enterprise priorities. “Defending our group is extra vital than maximizing our income,” he mentioned on the Q3 name. “It’s vital to do not forget that Fb is about bringing individuals nearer collectively and enabling significant social interactions; it’s not primarily about consuming content material passively.”
Fb has already begun to realign its product round bringing the world nearer collectively, and that features many options to stoke energetic participation.
Teams have been an enormous space of growth for Fb this yr, with it organizing a complete summit for Group admins the place it launched new options for locating, moderating and analyzing these area of interest boards. Whereas the Information Feed can really feel like a circus dominated by one-way broadcasts about surface-level themes and every day ephemera, Teams are extra like a café the place deeper dialogue on esoteric subjects can thrive.
Fb reordered the Information Feed to place “mates first,” preferencing unique content material sharing that may spark private interplay over copy-and-pasting articles. There’s now a purposeful method to solicit suggestions with a standing replace, which frequently result in vibrant remark sections of individuals sharing their favourite locations. These remark reels can morph into chat-like threads on desktop that stick with you for swifter replies as you browse the location. In truth, the entire design of remark threads has been refreshed to look extra like chat bubbles to catalyze extra back-and-forth.
Fb final yr launched a standalone Occasions app to assist individuals discover what’s happening offline and attend with mates. Now it’s rebranded it as Fb Native with the inclusion of eating places and landmarks with critiques from mates in hopes of serving to you leverage your group to get probably the most out of your metropolis. Simply at present, Fb was noticed increasing exams of an offline Meetup planning function for Teams.
Maybe most significantly for encouraging wholesome utilization, Fb Messenger now exhibits who’s energetic atop the house display to stimulate conversations. It’s been aggressively pushing video chat, which noticed twice as many classes in 2017 as 2016. New options for sharing location, planning and even taking part in multiplayer video games like Phrases with Associates discourage customers from zoning out. Instagram, too, has been pushing extra energetic communication via enhancements to direct messaging and a complete standalone app for the function.
Fb can also be adapting to its accountability for the welfare of its customers. Although controversial, it’s rolling out proactive detection synthetic intelligence to seek out customers displaying alerts of potential self hurt or suicide and notify mates or first-responders earlier than their content material is even reported. And the Group Assist product makes volunteering viral, so neighbors can supply or search help after pure disasters or different crises.
Zuckerberg’s acknowledged method to boosting Time Effectively Spent is way from game-changing. “When finished effectively, video brings us nearer collectively,” he mentioned on the Q3 name. Some will say it merely furthers Fb’s enterprise targets of driving extra profitable video advert views, however it’s additionally pragmatic. If video is the simplest method to waste time on Fb, and other people already spend hours a day on fully asocial tv, just a little effort might go a good distance.
“We’ve discovered that communities shaped round video like TV exhibits or sports activities create a higher sense of belonging than many different kinds of communities . . . However too usually proper now, watching video is only a passive consumption expertise,” Zuckerberg says. “So we’re going to focus our merchandise on all of the methods to construct group across the video that individuals share and watch. That’s one thing Fb can uniquely do.”
How that may occur isn’t precisely clear, however I’ve some concepts. Relatively than funding one-off Information Feed movies or asocial unique programming, Fb might funnel cash towards content material creators who make Reveals with thriller or subjective narratives that may develop surrounding communities the way in which Misplaced did. Fb might additionally develop its new Creator app for video makers to allow them to begin in-app fan golf equipment the place their prime followers can forge connections and cheer their favourite influencers on collectively.
Nonetheless, these approaches are all oblique. Fb has an opportunity to handle the issue head on by speaking with customers it thinks are caught in a rut.
In my least-healthy Fb conduct sample, I’ll browse for a half or complete hour, make a fast loop previous Twitter and e-mail, after which go proper again to Fb’s Information Feed. I’ve even caught myself reloading Fb whereas nonetheless on Fb, or closing the app on my telephone and staring on the house display like a zombie earlier than reopening Fb once more. There’s extra Fb might do to shake me out of those cycles.
Fb ought to have the ability to be taught via quantitative and qualitative analysis that this doesn’t make me really feel good. The identical goes for lengthy classes of lurking with out commenting or interacting a lot. An enormous step ahead for Ginsberg and Fb’s analysis staff can be determining how you can measure passive use, and establish flags that point out I might use some intervention.
What if when Fb noticed you mindlessly scrolling, it confirmed a giant field within the Information Feed suggesting you message your closest mates who’re at the moment on-line? Or it purposefully began surfacing energetic remark threads you may leap into, gave a immediate for one thing to share and even provided a reminder of how a lot time you’d spent shopping at present?
If Fb is keen to make this dedication to person well-being, not in phrases however in product modifications, it might begin an industry-wide pattern. Customers might develop to count on their apps to look out for his or her well-being relatively than exploit their consideration. Finally, tech firms that unabashedly abuse their customers might lose them.
That’s all only a dream for now, although. Probably the most we would count on is for Ginsberg’s staff to get extra funding, extra clout, extra buy-in from Fb’s numerous groups, and extra of a mandate to incite change. The options Fb proposes may at finest chip away on the downside relatively than deal with it in earnest.
Sadly, Fb’s enterprise mannequin is immediately tied to consideration. The extra time spent, effectively or not, the extra advert views it racks up and the extra money it makes. Whereas this mannequin lets Fb supply itself to customers without spending a dime, together with those that might by no means afford a subscription price, it strongly disincentivizes any giant scale modifications that might dramatically scale back common utilization time, even when it boosted satisfaction. “We’ve got to decouple consideration from revenue” Harris protests, however that’s a a lot greater process than including a number of benevolent pixels.
And so it’s possible us who should rescue our consideration and bend our conduct again towards what makes us really feel good long-term. Meaning commenting one thing private relatively than simply Liking, messaging mates relatively than spying on their profiles and being susceptible in what we share.
We don’t need to fake life is ideal, particularly to the detriment of our mates. The occasional crack within the veneer might help individuals see what’s actual about us. It would take braveness to personal our flaws, open up about what’s hurting, and admit once we need assistance. And it’ll take effort to forged off the idle inertia and concern of awkwardness that retains us from speaking.
We’re fated to spend an increasing number of time interacting via expertise. It’s our alternative whether or not we spend it purposefully.
0 notes