#electrolyte me bitch

[lunapwrites]

This is my third time being (actually) sick during the Bean Time, and I very literally think that while I probably could have emotionally handled having a cold that destroyed all of my weekend plans, experiencing Braxton Hicks probably due to dehydration (I'm trying okay) for the first time ever WHILE having a cold that has destroyed all of my weekend plans is pushing me a little past my bullshit tolerance threshold.

...On the plus side, got a good grade in blood sugar. So there's that at least.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Almost died a few years ago and I came back worse

[the-attic-of-porcelain]

BIG moment of presyncope omg

[misserabella]

Is it ok if I ask for more police!ellie?????

a/n; ofc! :))

yes, sir

ellie williams x fem! reader

cw; +18 content! minors dni!, dom! ellie x sub! reader, punishment (r receiving), teasing, ellie being mean, spanking (r receiving), jealousy, possessiveness, kissing, make out session, praising, use of sir (ellie loves it), praise kink, degradation, fingering (r receiving), cum eating…

the training to enter the police corpse was hard. your body was always sore. and your stress levels were high. but it was worth it. you were helping people. making them safer. and that’s what mattered. or that’s what you repeated to yourself, ‘cause if you didn’t you’d actually forget about it and kill your fucking instructor.

ellie williams was a living nightmare. she was mean, and harsh, didn’t give a fuck about you or your problems. she wouldn’t have no crybabies on her team. she also seemed to despise you.

“what was that? i heard mumbling there.” she squinted her eyes at you, and you gritted your teeth.

“yes, sir.” you repeated, and she smirked.

“it’s nice to hear you can actually speak. you’re not dumb after all. but i’ll have to teach you to follow orders…” your muscles tensed. all of this ‘cause you had forgotten that today you were supposed to use long cargo pants instead of the short ones. fucking bitch… “20 push-ups.” you looked at her in disbelief and she arched her eyebrows like a ‘well?’. you dropped to your knees. “i wanna hear you count, understood?”

“yes, sir.” your palms made contact with the floor. you swore your teeth might broke by how hard you were grinding them. “one…”

she stood there, looking at you suffer as you managed to do the 20 non-stop. you knew that if you stopped to take a rest she’d add another 20, so even if your arms were shaking, you pulled it off.

“turns out you’re not as useless as i thought.” she smiled at you, and you swallowed the scoff that wanted to scape your throat. you almost fucked it up by rolling your eyes. “get up and out of my sight before i change my mind.”

“yes, sir. thank you, sir.” you said, getting up from the floor and leaving.

dina, your best friend, whistled as you walked towards her. you rolled your eyes now that corporate willisms couldn’t see you.

“she really has it for you.” she laughed and you sighed.

“she hates me. and i don’t even know what i’ve done!” you took a sip of your water.

“probably cause you look good all the goddamn time.” dina winked at you and you scoffed, bumping her shoulder.

“stop flirting with me or i’ll think you want to take me to bed.”

“and what if i do?” you laughed as she rose and lowered suggestively her eyebrows.

your body froze when you heard william’s voice screaming your last name.

“yes, sir?”

“you two take your bullshit out of my camp.” she scowled, giving dina a dirty look. “people are here to take their futures and training seriously, not to flirt and have fun.” you gulped. she had a fucking stick up her ass or what?

“yes, sir.” you gritted.

“don’t make me punish you again.” she warned before going away, the muscles of her back tensed through her white wife beater.

“fucking dick…” you muttered and dina snickered.

“dude she’s so into you.” your eyes shot open.

“what the fuck are you talking about?”

“that right there? pure jealousy.” she took a sip of her electrolytes drink.

“maybe she is into you.” ellie almost choked.

“you’ve gotta be kidding. did you see the way she looked at me? almost killed me.”

you rolled your eyes.

“you’re delusional. she’s not into me.” you looked at ellie just to find her already looking at you with her arms folded against her chest, quickly looking away with a frown.

oh?

“you’re the one being delusional. it’s obvious. that’s why she’s being a dick with you.” dina shrugged. “and you like her too.” you scoffed.

“me? woah. the sun is really making you hallucinate.” you put a hand on her head to feel the warmth on her hair.

“sure. call me crazy.” she was the one now rolling her eyes. “but you can’t fool me.”

“i’m not trying to fool you.”

your eyes met again, ellie‘s green ones staying put this time.

or maybe you were.

-

it was late at night. you had had to stay today to do your rounds, and you were fighting to not fall asleep.

it’s not like you could anyways…

“falling asleep?” you rolled your eyes at ellie’s voice.

“no, sir.” she had been rounding you for hours, making sure you stayed awake and teasing you.

“sure. you look about to pass out.” you scoffed.

“i wish. that way i would have to deal with you…” you muttered and her eyebrows rose.

“what was that?” she inquired, getting closer.

“nothing, sir.” you said and she hummed.

“really? ‘cause i definitely heard something. why don’t you speak up for me, hm?” she leaned over you, since you were sitting on a chair, her eyes harshly looking into yours.

you stayed silent, to what she smirked.

“what is it, huh? cat got your tongue?” your heart jumped into your chest when her index and thumb took your chin, making you look up at her.

“no, sir.” you answered.

“then go ahead. speak.”

“i said; i wish. that way i wouldn’t have to deal with you.” you gritted your teeth, cheeks blushing in anger.

“well aren’t you sweet…” she cooed, her hand trailing down to your neck before harshly pulling from you to pull you closer and up. her breath hit your face as she pushed you against the wall, making you let out a gasp. “is that the way in which you talk to a superior?” your chest puffed up with a deep breath.

“no.”

“no, what?” she squinted her eyes.

“no, sir.” she hummed.

“atta girl. see? it’s not that hard to be nice. although i do think you need a lesson, what do you think, princess?”

princess. princess. princess.

“answer me.” she ordered.

“yes, sir.”

“on your front. hands on the wall.” you followed once she freed you from her warm hand. you almost missed it. the skin on your neck was burning.

you gave her your back, placing your hands on the wall and she harshly pushed your head down, making your ass stick out. her eyes fell on it, her tongue dampening her lips.

“3 fucks up on a day. you really like trouble don’t you?” you shivered at the low on her voice, her hand on your hip. “pull down your pants.” she ordered and you froze. your cheeks burned. oh fuck. “did you not hear me? pull down your pants.” she repeated, and that’s when your shaky hands found the hem of your cargo shorts, undoing the button and the zipper. you knew you could stop this. you knew she wouldn’t push you. but you wanted it. you wanted her to punish you. see how far she would go. “that’s it. good girl.” she praised you as you pushed them down your legs, letting them pool down on your ankles.

you bit down on your lip as you placed your hands back on the wall. you were shaking.

her eyes took in the pretty lace panties you had worn that day, smirking. “these are pretty.” you shivered when her fingertips traced them. “you wore them for woodward?” you shook your head. “can’t hear you.” you jolted when she left a soft spank on your ass. your knees almost buckled. what was going on? how the hell had you ended up here? and why the fuck were you enjoying it so much?

“no.” you shakily said, and ellie hummed.

“you sure? you too seemed awfully friendly this morning. you fucking her?” you could hear the sting on her voice.

“no.” you promised, but she spanked you once again, this time harsher.

“manners.”

“no, sir.” you corrected yourself.

her hand roamed on your ass, cupping your cheek and squeezing, making you let out a muffled whimper that made her smirk.

“you really need a lesson, huh?” you nodded, biting down on your lip. “that’s what i thought. why don’t you count up for me, hm? i think 15 will do.” you almost moaned.

“yes, sir.” fuck. how much it turned her on when you called her sir.

“atta girl.”

“one.” you muttered when the first harsh slap hit your skin, bracing yourself. she was kind enough to not start strong, although you knew you’d be left shaking. “two…” your breath was growing shallow, and your legs were trembling.

“just like that. loud and clear for me, baby.” you whimpered.

“three, four…”

it stung. it hurt. but it hurt so good. you were sure you were soaking your panties.

by the time you reached ten your knees were wobbling and ellie had had to use her free hand to keep you upright.

“please, sir…” you moaned, tears stinging your eyes.

“just five more, come on, you’re doing so good… be good for me just for a little bit more, hm?” you nodded, and she smiled. “good girl.”

“eleven, twelve…” you whimpered. you were sure your ass would be glowing red. “thirteen, fourteen…” you took a deep breath, nails digging on the wall as her palm made contact with your ass one last time. “fifteen.” she caressed your irritated skin, hushing you.

“that’s it. now breath for me, doll. breath for me.” you followed her orders, taking deep breaths. she pushed you up, spinning you so you would be facing her. your cheeks were flushed red, your lips bitten and glossy, along with your glazed eyes. you looked beautiful. and she knew this was all her. and you were soaked. she groaned as her hand cupped your clothed cunt. “how pathetic, you’re getting wet over this?” you whimpered as her fingers pushed in between your slit, teasing you.

“please…” you begged, your hips jolting against her touch.

“please what? speak up.” she ordered.

“please, sir. touch me.” she hummed.

“seems a little spanking did the trick, hm? being so obedient… i think you deserve a reward, don’t you think?” you nodded, and she cooed, pushing your panties aside and making you moan when her fingers were finally touching you with no barriers.

“oh fuck…” you cried out, your clit throbbing under her touch. she hushed you.

“shh, it’s okay. i’ve got you. i’ve got you.” she circled your clit, and your legs buckled. her other hand took your hip, bruising your skin as she held you up.

“ellie…”

“nuh-uh. gotta ask nicely, baby.” she was teasing you, a smirk on her lips as her finger prodded at your entrance.

“sir…” a moan left your lips, and she groaned. that went straight to her cunt.

as a reward she pushed her middle finger inside, stretching your pulsing pussy. “so tight…” you moaned as she started to thrust it in and out, hearing the slick sounds your cunt made for her.

you were a moaning and whimpering mess by the time she pushed the second finger inside, curling them to hit your g spot. it was almost embarrassing how turned on you were, how close you were to cumming. her lips were on your neck, sucking bruises that she knew everyone would see tomorrow. maybe that’s what she wanted, for all of them to know that you were already hers.

there was something so primal in the way she had taken one of your legs to her hip to fuck her fingers harsher and deeper into you…

one of your hands were on her hair, tugging at her auburn strands as she fucked you closer and closer to your orgasm.

“you close, baby? gonna cum on my fingers?” you nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. “then go ahead, wanna see it drip down your thighs.” and you did, letting go as the band snapped and your cunt gushed all over her fingers with a long moan. she fucked you through it, circling your clit to extend your high. “that’s it. give it to me. good girl…” you moaned at the praise, panting as it subsided. you whimpered when she took them out, pulling her fingers up to her mouth to suck on them. “so sweet…” you couldn’t help but tug from her hair to kiss her, tasting yourself on her tongue.

that night turned out to be really long one…

-

[141wh0re]

Red Spider Lily- Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Pairings: Body Guard!Simon Riley x Rich Bitch!Reader (f)

TW: MDNI, DDDNE, depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety, minor character death, angst, substance abuse and addiction, implied narcissism from readers dad, alcohol consumption, vomiting (not detailed, just mentioned), hyperthermia, brief wlw, NSFW thoughts, soft Simon, grumpy x grumpier trope, fun fact: don't mix MDMA with cocaine lads and lasses (can result in hyperthermia), whump, fluff.

Let me know if I missed anything in the tags <3

Word Count: 2626

Summary: Simon retires from the SAS, taking on a job for a well known real estate tycoon's daughter, serving as her sole protector until her father can find a suitable man to sell marry her off to. Yet, instead of protecting her from outside dangers, he's finding the biggest danger is herself. Simon is determined to help you escape this life that was pre-ordained for you, and cure you of your disease. Addiction.

After nearly three decades spent in the military, Simon never expected to find himself here. Stuck in a contractual agreement, protecting and ensuring the safety and well-being of a bratty young woman with a wealthy family. It was almost insulting to him, had it not been for the hefty sum of money the woman's father wired to his bank account every week.

There were a few moments he'd almost made the rash decision to quit his job completely, and allow the someone else to look after this bitchy damsel.

But there was something that kept him here, keeping a protective eye on you and a firm hand at the small of your back in crowded rooms.

Beneath all the glitz and glam, partying and binge drinking, and the drugs... Simon saw you for what you were when you were at your lowest points.

A young girl who was forced into a lonely life of luxury. A girl who lost her mother too young and wasn't sure how to cope. A girl who yearned for her father's attention while he consumed himself in work, social gatherings, and public appearances. A girl who closed herself off from the world and kept everyone at arm's length so the venomous bite of abandonment would be less impactful when those people inevitably left her. A young girl who drowned her liver in alcohol while snorting enough blow to potentially kill her every weekend.

Simon knew you needed consistency in your life with substance. He'd watched his younger brother go through this plenty, repeating a vicious cycle of pain and torment for a fleeting moment with the impostor of joy in powder form.

He also knew you resembled that of a caged bird. Lonely, isolated, and detached from the rest of the world while you awaited either your death or an arranged marriage that would benefit your father's company, and potentially cushion his pockets a tad more.

As you emerged from the master suite of the penthouse, Simon heaved a resigned sigh, seeing you dolled up for the night ahead. Luxurious, private parties and public appearances to keep your name relevant in the tabloids and medias.

He leaned against the kitchen island, large arms crossed in his black button down, rich, honey-colored eyes fixated on you, and his signature black, surgical mask in place.

"Eat. You're not going out on an empty stomach." His deep, thick accented voice demanded. He nodded towards the plate on the counter, filled with chicken risotto with truffle sauce.

You scoffed in response to his authoritative tone before obeying anyways and climbing onto the bar stool, realizing it's probably best not to piss off your body guard.

"Where's it from?" You asked in a bland tone.

"Your kitchen." he answered gruffly as he poured an electrolyte packet into a bottle of water and set it beside your plate.

"Didn't know they taught ya to cook up truffle sauce in the military," you teased in that snarky tone he felt deep hatred for. Your metaphorical mask was going up early tonight.

"It's so cute how hard you work to save me from myself every weekend, big guy. Doesn't it get tiring?" You goaded before working at the small, yet filling dish before you.

Simon ignored your attempts to rile him up, knowing good and well you were fishing for a reason to indulge in your vices tonight. If you went out in a bad mood, it was all the more reason for you to fill your nose with booger sugar, and what better way to elevate yourself than starting it in a piss-poor mood, so your high will be that much better?

"Eat." Is all he replied with, leaving no room for questions or arguments.

As the night progressed, Simon kept a watchful eye on you, taking in your every move, expression, and breath while diligently scanning your surroundings to ensure your safety.

He watched as you finished another glass of champagne that was easily worth three months rent for his studio loft downtown.

You were pleasantly buzzed as you floated about the mansion, like you owned it, being the perfect little socialite you learned to be. Simon's dark, brooding presence loomed behind you, keeping you within at least three arm's lengths at all times.

"Going to the loo," you informed Simon as you spun on the toe of your red bottoms, heels clicking against the marble floor as you sashayed in the direction of the restroom.

You didn't even have to cast a glance over your shoulder to know Simon was already following behind you, keeping his eyes dutifully trained on you and your immediate surroundings.

Once outside the bathroom, Simon knocked on the door before entering and doing a sweep of the room before allowing you to enter.

You rolled your eyes at his precautious measures as he shut the door behind you. After clicking the lock in place, you promptly relieved yourself before standing at the vanity to wash your hands, reapply your red lipstick, then pull a little pick-me-up from your clutch.

Using the compact mirror, you pulled a tampon case from your clutch, producing a small baggie of white powder from within it, and emptied the contents of the baggie onto the mirrored surface as it sat on the vanity. You shook the small tampon case to receive a small straw, then used one of your many credit cards to neatly align the powder in a straight line.

Holding a finger to your left nostril, you plugged it and inserted the end of the straw into the right nostril, hovering over the powder as you inhaled with a strong pull from your nose and lungs.

The powder irritates your nose momentarily, causing it to scrunch and sniffle as the tingles pulse through your nasal passage. Bitterness coated your taste buds as the powder dripped down the back of your throat, earning a cringe from you as you shook your head, coughing slightly to aid the phlegm in easing down your esophagus.

You promptly cleaned up and did a final once over in the mirror, adamant not to stare too long and avoid your flaws. Clammy palms idly smooth over the material of your dress, trying to ensure you look your best, and avoid the nagging feeling at the back of your mind. Your darker-self trying to rear her ugly head and steal your fleeting moments of joy, and stir up the insufferable concoction of anxiety.

Finally, you emerged from the bathroom to be greeted with the sight of Simon stood with his back to the door, his large palm clasped firmly over his wrist.

He wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what you were doing in the bathroom. Had it only been a quick stop, it would've been three minutes tops. But when you did your pick-me-ups, it took seven minutes.

He shouldn't know that, yet considering you're a relatively well-known public figure, he has to time every second you're not in his line of sight.

Simon stepped to the side, allowing you to exit the bathroom. His dark eyes gave a disapproving look as he surveyed your appearance.

"You've got a bit of sugar on your dress." He informed you, glancing down at the skirt of your black cocktail dress.

Your eyes hurriedly followed his, searching for the spot and swiping your hand over the material, earning an amused glint to flash in his normal unreadable eyes.

You groaned in annoyance once it became apparent he was messing with you, your hand quickly came up to slap his arm in defiance.

"Arse," you muttered under your breath. Simon's stoic demeanor momentarily gave way to show off a glimpse of underlying smugness.

Simon couldn't deny that you were a good looking woman, and he always found it hard to tear his gaze away from you, especially when you were a magnet for people. You had the natural ability to draw people in, even with your resting-bitch-face. Somehow, someway, everyone gravitated toward you.

It was very much the opposite of himself, all jagged edges, harsh lines with the repellent of a rabid Rottweiler. He found it fascinating on a personal level, but on a professional level, he loathed it.

He hated how people thought they could touch you, or be within three feet of you, or even the way they looked at you.

All he saw was greed, manipulation, and control. He was certain that you saw it too; he could see the faint flicker of disgust in your eyes when someone tried to cozy up to you for their own gain.

A part of Simon's heart ached to see your life full of so many people, yet none of them truly gave a shit about you. But he also knew you did it strategically, much like he had done for most of his life. Although, Simon's was done more coldly, you had a certain finesse about it. You held a sense of attainability, allowing people in just enough to keep control of, but never in deep enough for them to control you.

Behind the rich, spoiled brat, Simon marveled at the true strength and cunning you showed within this materialistic world. He could see the fox within you, calculating and sly as she was, planning her escape.

But the escape plan is what scared him. He heard every conversation you had with yourself, when you thought no one was listening.

You longed for a life without a name. Where you could fly under the radar, only keeping close to you those who truly cared. And as much as he tried to remain detached. He was concerned that one day, you'd find a remedy for that desire.. and take flight for the heavens.

Simon watched vigilantly over you as you remained perched on the outdoor couch with your group of girlfriends. His eyes never left you as your friend slipped a pill between your soft, red lips and did the tactless act of spitting her drink in your mouth to aid you in ingesting the pill.

Fuckin' hell, love. You need better friends.

He sighed inwardly, but heaved a quiet breath as he kept watch, wanting to shake his head in disappointment. But he knew you could feel his disapproving gaze prickling at your muted senses.

Your head dipped back in pleasure as your friend kissed down your neck, across your collarbones and back up to your lips. Half-lidded eyes remained trained on Simon as he stood within your sight, your eyes appreciatively raked over his form, taking in the way his muscles strained against the black fabric of his black button-down, and the way his slacks fit his tree-trunk legs perfectly.

He was a delicious sight and you were feeling ravenous, silently lusting over the man assigned to guard your life. The only man who gave a single shit about you.

Simon internally groaned, his hand clenching into fists behind his back as he watched the scene unfold before him. If he wasn't on duty right now, he'd be fucking you within an inch of your life, and make you pray to a merciless God. Himself.

You pulled yourself up from the couch on slightly unsteady legs, and sauntered over to him, only stopping in front of him once your hands were on his chest.

Simon gazed into your dilated pupils, already noticing the effects of your meeting with your little friend, Molly.

"Wanna go home," you demanded, pouting up at him.

"So soon? You looked like you were having a bit of fun." He replied in a neutral tone, keeping his aloof and disinterested persona in place.

"It's boring here," you whined, "wanna have fun. At home. With you."

"Mm, you wound me, bird. Here I thought you knew not to associate me in the same sentence as fun." He scoffed lightly, trying to keep the inflection of amusement from his tone.

He reached a large, callused hand to rest on the small of your back, acting as a stabilizer for your current state. Tingles ran up your spine as every nerve-ending desperately sought out the rest of his warm touch, igniting hot flames of desire along your spine, and pulsing directly to your rapidly slickening cunt from your heightened state.

Simon watched you closely once you were back in the safety of your home. He gauged you as you stripped off your dress carelessly, leaving it discarded on the floor, much like you had done with your heels the moment you were off the lift earlier.

He sighed as he watched you prance around the room topless, going about your business in your flimsy g-string.

"It's too bloody hot in this damn house," you whined as you adjusted the thermostat.

Your body swayed on unsteady legs, your skin glistened with intense perspiration. A wave of dizziness struck you, forcing you to lean against the wall momentarily while your heart rate soared, soft, frantic breaths escaped your lips while your vision blurred in a not so fun way.

Simon's eyes narrowed with concern before he immediately recognized your symptoms, having realized what would force this reaction out of you.

"How many lines did you do tonight?" Simon asked in a firm tone, scooping you up in his arms effortlessly, then rushed you into the bathroom.

He helped you kneel before the toilet, gathering your hair in one hand so you wouldn't have to focus on much.

"T-three," you panted out, feeling waves of nausea swell and your stomach to roil.

You retched into the toilet, firmly grasping the edges in a white-knuckle grip.

"And you only took one pill. Molly, right?" he asked with concern, gently rubbing his large palm at the center of your shoulder blades.

"Yeah," you croaked weakly before lowering your head again.

Simon grunted in frustration, yet remained vigilantly at your side, helping you through your sickness.

After a while, the vomiting finally ceased as he gently cleaned you up and propped your back against the bathtub. He quickly grabbed a washcloth and a disposable cup for mouth wash before handing it to you.

"Swish and spit in the cup, bird," he instructed while pressing the cold washcloth to your forehead, then moved it to the nape of your neck, trying to quickly cool your body down from the sudden onslaught of heat exhaustion.

You did as Simon instructed before handing it to him to dispose of. Your eyelids were hardly able to stay open, your body felt weak as if each limb was weighed down by imaginary anchors, and your skin felt like it was on fire.

Simon returned with a thermometer in hand, taking your temperature.

102 degrees.

"Fuckin' hell, bird." he murmured gruffly.

With quick efficiency, Simon collected you in his arms again, carrying you out to the oversized sectional in the living room.

You were already drifting in and out of consciousness, finding new items surrounding you each time you opened your eyes.

Simon worriedly administered an IV, a bin was placed beside the couch, cool washcloths littered across your body.

"What's all this?" you slurred nearly unintelligibly.

"Hyperthermia. Just rest. Let me take care of you," he answered in a softer tone than ever before, and had your body not been fighting for it's life, you might have caught the worry in his eyes and concern and care in his deep voice.

For several hours, Simon remained by your side, using a dropper to dispense electrolytes on your tongue, checking your temperature every hour, and gently running his fingers through your hair while you slept on the couch.

"M' gonna get you fixed up, bird... don't wanna see you like this anymore," he whispered in devotion, and pressed a tender kiss on your forehead.

| Next |

[skankinator]

Complications Ch. 5

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Fem Reader

18+ MDNI

You pull into the parking lot of the pharmacy and he shuts the car off. You can’t help but feel strange about this whole predicament. The strangest thing is that this man is still here with you after all of tonight’s events. Most guys you’ve met would have been gone as soon as they came.

“You really don’t have to do any of this for me,” you give him another chance to run. “I can take care of this on my own.”

“As I recall you didn’t get into this on your own,” he says suggestively. “We will take care of this together.”

Ugh. Why is he being such a nice guy? It’s kinda of annoying but also kinda hot how much he cares. Either way you need to have a debrief with Stacie without his presence.

“Okay, just wait here I’ll be right back,” you hop out of his Bronco and walk towards the door. You hear another door close and turn to see him following you. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going with you,” he says matter of fact.

“I told you to wait in the car.”

“I don’t want to wait in the car,” he quickly replies.

“Great.”

You walk into the pharmacy and look around for a way to get him away. Then you get an idea that should take him a while. “Could you go get me some pads?” You look at him hoping he will accept.

“What kind?” He says completely unbothered by the request.

“You can pick them out. Oh and some pregnancy tests too. Just incase,” you will say anything to get rid of him now.

“Sure, I’ll meet you at the check out,” he seems to have picked up on your eagerness to leave. He walks off towards the feminine hygiene aisle and you make a break for Stacie.

You find her in the back waiting for you. When she sees you she jumps from her desk and dashes for the counter. It’s been so long since you’ve seen her. Her hair is much shorter than she used to wear it. Her dark curls cut off just above her shoulders.

“You just got to town. What could be the emergency?” She says getting straight to the point. Best friends like you and Stacie are able to go silent for months at a time and pick up right where you left off.

“You will not believe what happened,” you start explaining the events of tonight. Several gasps later you end saying, “so that’s why I need you to be my absolute life saver and get me the magic pill.”

“Absolutely, as long as you tell me more about this man with the magic dick.” She walks away to retrieve the morning after pill. As of right on cue, the said man appears.

He sets down several items including some you had not requested. “Did she say magic dick?” He looks at you confused.

“You’re hearing things,” you dismiss him examining his bounty. “Why did you get Gatorade and…” you shuffle the items taking a closer look, “a thirty-six pack of condoms?” You emphasize the large number.

“Well it’s good to replenish your electrolytes after strenuous activity and you need working condoms.”

You look at him with your mouth hanging open from shock and eyebrows furrowed from confusion. You have literally no words for this man.

Stacie returns with the pill and looks between the two of you. Not sure what to say, she reverts to customer service. “Will this be together or separate?”

“Together,” he says reaching for his wallet.

“No,” you place a hand on his arm stopping him. “I’ll buy my stuff. You can pay for your Gatorade and condoms.”

“It’ll be together,” he says to Stacie again handing her his card.

Stacie looks at you and mouths, ‘free pads bitch’

You roll your eyes and mouth back, ‘I’m not going to take his money’

‘Too bad it’s happening.’ She completes the transaction and hands back his card. “Would you like a receipt?” She says in her best customer service voice with a big smile. The glare you are giving her might actually murder someone.

“No thanks, but you should know I am standing right here.” He says both of you looking at him with blank stares. “Your whole conversation. The one you two just whispered to each other that I completely heard.” You side eye your best friend.

“It’s very rude to eavesdrop,” Stacie reprimands. “It is also very rude for my friend to not introduce us.” She turns the attention to you.

Introduce them. Of course your friend wants to know who the man is that fished a condom out of you. Just introduce them, easy. His name. What is his name? Oh my god what’s his name? You don’t know his name. How could you go this whole night without knowing his name?!

“I’m Bradley,” he says extending his hand.

“Stacie,” she replies shaking his hand. “Y/N could use a lesson in manners among other things.”

You grab the bag of items paid for by Bradley and stick your tongue out at Stacie. “We’re leaving. I’ll call you tomorrow,” you say and walk to the door.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Bradley says before following behind you.

By the time you reach the car, Bradley has caught up and opens the passenger door for you. When you climb in you rummage through the bag for the pill. Bradley starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot heading back to your place.

You read over the package as best you can in the dark. You grab a Gatorade to wash down the pill. You sigh in relief after taking the pill. Problem solved. You continue to sip on the drink realizing you were a bit parched. Plus it is the best flavor of Gatorade: blue.

“I knew you were thirsty,” Bradley smirks.

“Fuck off,” you laugh out rolling your eyes.

[deadvnstudios]

How would everyone take care of a sick MC?

"No, just...sit up. Here, drink this."

Noel is methodical in his approach to care. By the time the MC has awoken from their nap, he'll have already whipped up a hardy broth that warms their bones and tastes like home. Noel prioritizes the MC's comfort: helping them sit up for every meal, fluffing their pillows, changing their sheets - and often does so without being asked. He is very strict with the MC on not overworking themself, making sure they take their cold medicine on time, and keeping them hydrated.

"Wait...I. Let me put these in your water."

And he certainly carries a couple of electrolyte packets on him with several flavors for them to choose from.

Mona is a bit overbearing in her approach to care. If the others were not already aware of it being a common cold, they'd be led to believe it's bordering on terminal. Though her dramatic flair remains, she takes to her caretaker role very seriously and has no shame in babying the MC. She's constantly adjusting pillows and sheets, pressing her hand to the MC's forehead, and monitoring them in between crafting sessions for any signs of discomfort.

"Here, something to soothe the sickened soul. Oh my, why so shaken? Worry not, even I am aware my work would be wasted on such a...diminished palate."

She laughs at the way the MC's face twists in horror as she carries soup to their bedside. But don't worry, she didn't prepare it. Merely heckled Noel into doing so.

"Such feverish skin...slowly, go slowly."

Sorin is very gentle in their care. He isn't disturbed by the grosser aspects of human sickness and takes no issue with more intimate tasks such as wiping down the MC's clammy skin, bushing their sweat-slicked hair out of their face, and helping them walk to-and-fro with them pressed against his side. They have nowhere else to be, but beside them. Tending to more delicate things is in their nature, after all.

"Her breath, drawn up from the dank, sunken cavern of her lungs, perspired in the humid twilight air. She wandered the shore alone, all shaken puffs and sulken skeleture, aimlessly careening in a feverish haze. Despite the distance, the sea could not quell its love for her. Seafoam tickled the soles of her feet, teasing heated skin with cool caresses, before whisking her away into its pool of tears. And there they could wallow in their sadness, together."

They go silent, peering up from the tale when they're interrupted by a soft snore. A small smile paints their lips at finding the MC asleep. They had grumbled earlier, upset that Sorin had urged them to reconsider reaching for their phone when they awoke. Instead, Sorin had offered to read them to sleep once more.

Mary's already at MC's bedside when they wake up.

"Hey, I got you some grub."

The porridge is already cold when MC grabs the bowl. Mary presents them a spoon that she was hiding somewhere in her skirts.

"I've heard that if you manage to shove a spoon down your throat, you instantly get better. Wanna try?"

She's definitely joking... Right? Her smile never wanes, only becoming sweeter when she hands them the spoon.

Tempest is sincerely at a loss when it comes to care. Used to suffering in silence or bitching about it to no one - someone showing any dependence on him puts him way out of his element. He's bare bones in the way he 'watches over' the MC, but he emulates what he's seen in shows and movies. He probably thinks they look gross.

"Seriously, what a drag. Can't you at least wear something nice to look at?"

And tells them so.

Still, he tucks them in, feeds them, and fills their water up with minimal mumbled complaints. And he’ll whine all around the commune about all the fun he's missing out on, even while on his way to ask Noel whether a hot or cold compress would be better for them.

"Oooo here it is, ah - wait! No, let me pour it, it's like super hot."

Vein is carefree but caring in her approach to care. Always looking for ways to keep the MC entertained and engaged, tethering them despite any lingering fever. She'll visit Sorin at times like these, requesting any medicinal plants to steep for soothing relief. She happily prepares a pot for the two of them to share and sip on as she loads up a film. No matter how much the MC complains that she'll get sick, Vein sticks stubbornly in bed beside them.

"Ah - look look! They just added this one, you wanted to see it, right?"

Vein will play whatever the MC wants for a change, even if it's not up her alley. But she'll still sneak in a horror flick or two when they pass out.

[https-chaos]

no one irl cares so here is a recipe for those of us who have daily or almost daily headaches

1 liter of water. with ice

1 packet of liquid iv. listen this stuff is expensive but it's so worth it. it's cheapest at costco, bribe a friend with a membership, and look for sales. none of the store brands are as good i have tried them all

1 packet of aspirin powder. at my store it's called "pain relief powders" and it's 845mg aspirin and 65mg caffeine.

shake that bitch up. put in earplugs if you're shaking a stainless steel bottle because the ice is gonna be loud.

drink up, not fast but sipping 1-2x a minute. shake it up periodically

prepare to have to pee in a little bit, but then you can go to bed <3

i swear, this cures 90% of those kinda-nauseous, moderate headache, uncomfortable/achy & fatigued days. obviously the relatively high dose of aspirin helps with the pain and inflammation, but even if you skip the aspirin there's something magical in liquid iv. it's like my own version of a sprite and vicks vaporub, i'm pretty sure it has magic healing powers

my logic:

- hydration. a whole liter of water in your blood, boom. at the very least, it can't hurt.

- i looked up what's in the IV they give you in the hospital if you're all dehydrated and out of whack (or just hungover), and it's pretty similar to what's in liquid iv which i guess is why they called it that. i swear they're not paying me okay im just saying. also, the sugar free doesn't work as well but it will still work, my mom is low carb and loves it

- all kinds of malaise symptoms are caused by inflammation. the powdered dosage form absorbs quickly, a lot of the time you'll start to feel better before you finish the liter

- hydration + a bit of sugar and electrolytes + a relatively safe fast acting anti-inflammatory + a little bit of caffeine = the whole solution to a host of common reasons to feel like shit

**note: don't be dumb, obviously only do this if you can safely take aspirin lol

[rrskinny02]

Fasted 70 hours I HAVE NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!! BEEN THIS LIGHTHEADED TROUGH A FAST

Bitch when I tell you I almost fainted multiple times. I even drank electrolytes. But no my body said nah ahh not this time bitch. Now my mom wants me to get my blood checked. ✨FANTASTIC✨

I broke my fast with some chicken soup I was gonna eat 400 ml but I could finish it I felt so full and gross so I gave like 100ml to my dog. Atleast he loved it.

Tonight I’ll have some watermelon but dude I’m so full.

This morning I was 88,3kg and later this afternoon I stepped on the scale again and I was 87,7kg YAAY. I’m scared that because I haven’t eaten anything in 3 days and because I ate that I’m not gonna lose any weight. But I’m gonna make sure that I’ll walk at least 7k steps today.

[trudemaethien]

longshot/sgt fox + turn

immediate thoughts: coruscant rush hour traffic and watchman bent bullet trajectories, kennedy conundrum, parkour

aaaaand i just realized this said SGT fox dammit dammit dammit OK u get a bonus (under the cut), while I go write the right Fox smdh@myself

“I know 501st is our companion battalion and all, and I do want to see those yahoos again, I do, but at the cost of having to hot-bunk? Sheesh, haven’t had to trade off a bed with a brother in a hot minute.”

“Oh, quit your bitching, Longshot, because if the logs officer hears you he might assign you to share with someone who farts uncontrollably, or wets the bed or something,” Trapper teased loudly, grinning. “Oh look, it’s your turn. Wish ya luck!” With that he gave Longshot a shove up to the billeting window.

The logs officer, who had a side-shave and a little neutral symbol tattooed on their face peeping out from the fall of curls across their other cheek, glanced up at him and passed a smaller-than-usual stack of bedding out of the window. “Your five-oh-first partner has the rest and is already in residence,” they intoned with the air of having already said it a hundred times and planning on scores more. “3-76 in ba—hang on—“

But Longshot had already snatched up the auto-printed tag of flimsi. “3-76 in bay 22, what’s the matter with it?” he inquired with an edge of suspicion.

The logs officer sat on their hands and looked like they’d been dared to shoot the extremely salty, sour undiluted electrolytes from a ration packet. “Nothing,” they said tersely, impatiently.

“Uncontrollable farting? Pees the bed?” Longshot pressed, and the logs guy bit back a smile in spite of themself. They’d definitely heard Trapper giving him a hard time.

“So…?”

“Nothing,” they repeated. “Just, ah, recognized my own bunk number—I promise I’m not some yahoo who makes a mess, don’t worry. You’re not weird or gross or anything either, are you?”

“Depends,” said Longshot flirtatiously, leaning on the window’s pass-through ledge, “on just what weird kind of mess you mean.” He winked reassuringly.

Behind him Trapper groaned.

“Hm,” the trooper said, noncommittal.

“You got a name, new bunkmate?”

“What’ll it take for you to turn that tag back over to me?” they countered.

“Your name,” Longshot insisted, pushing his luck.

They stared at him for a moment, considering. “You’re holding up the line,” they finally said, prim as anything. “I’ll find you later, I’m sure. Move along.”

Smirking, Longshot stepped off. “Well, you know where I sleep.”

Hot-Bunk, Bunkmate 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/51632134

Bonus (cdr fox):

“I said you could fill out your ranks with shinies, Two-Four, not kriffing Jedi, you absolute cheat!

“I did not! And kark off with that number bullshit, Tenten. In front of my men?”

“What the hell do you call this, then?” Fox gestured to the impossible marked trajectory, motions abrupt and infuriated. “There is no way in the realm of un-force-assisted physics that a trooper could pull off a longshot like that.”

“Oh, I like that,” said an awed voice behind Fox and he whirled to see the starry-eyed shiny listening in—not that he was being particularly circumspect in his tirade. “Can that be my name, Commander? Longshot?”

“No,” said Fox direly in the same breath as Cody overruled him.

His voice was fond and approving and full of shit. “Of course it can, it’s an excellent name, ‘37,” Cody said without looking at Fox.

The newly named Longshot did, however. “Thank you, sir, it really is—a good name and a high compliment.”

“It was not a compliment,” Fox grumbled. “You special in the head?”

“No, sir, no, of course not, forgive me” the kid said, still mostly unsubdued but at least trying to act respectful.

“I’ll —maybe— consider forgiveness, if you can explain to me in detail how the kriff you got it to turn like that?!”

“Certainly,” Longshot said, cheeky again, “over a cuppa caf?” No ‘sir’ now, was this punk flirting?

The absolute audacity.

Not many people knew what an unfortunate blusher Fox was and the tally had just gone up. Fox decidedly didn’t look at Cody who was definitely smirking like a vat-reject.

“Make it something stronger,” Fox said, grappling his dignity back under control, “and you’ll be the one paying, Longshot.”

If he’d gotten one illogical shot to hit an improbable target, why not let him go for another?

Bullet Bending 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/51632269

[youuuimeanmee]

I LOVE YOO 220 Thoughts

1. What excites me the most on this episode is, we got a glimpse of how Yui abused Nol in the past! (Not that I enjoy seeing Nol being abused, far from it, but I'm glad we finally see the plot moving) This is the discussion back in ep 150:

And with today's episode, we now see how Yui utilizes her power as the owner of the hospital: interfering with the doctors and nurses' decision, having their license revoked if they try to defy her, rewarding them with money -or anything- if they do as she say... Of course Yui's hand would stay clean if everyone is too scared of her! It really give us a glimpse of how she abused Nol in the past. Ugh. Now I wonder, did he also had the nurse he's close with removed from his sight because of Yui? Did she also gaslighted him into thinking it's his fault? 😒

Hearing Yui's argument is laughable actually. When a patient is unconscious, a doctor has the right to do some tests based on medical judgement in order to reach the correct diagnosis for the right treatment, because a sleeping patient can't tell the doctor what's wrong with them afterall. She has no right to veto as a mother too(?), since Kousuke is already an adult. Now, whether the CEO of the hospital has the right to revoke a medical lisence based on personal opinion -- or not, I can't tell because I don't know the laws. But well, money and power goes a long way, sadly.

2. At least Nol wakes up with the person he care by his side. Kousuke wakes up with no one in sight, and the sound of arguments outside. Quimchee just loves hammering down Kousuke's sign of neglection, huh. As much of an asshole Kousuke is, he's still the victim of abuse just like Nol :(

3.

AW NAH BITCH, STAY AWAY FROM JAYCE. STAY AWAY FROM NOL. JUST GO AWAY, NO ONE WANTED YOU HERE.

4. Now, about the reason why Yui is so adamant not letting Kousuke be tested by a literal professional. Many people has guessed it's because Yui doesn't want anyone to find out Kousuke is not Rand's biological son, but I don't think we're there yet. Hansuke mentioned basic tests; as far as I know, the basic, standard tests don't include blood-type test or DNA test. It usually only covered the potentials of:

Irregularity in blood (haemoglobin, platetet, RBC counts)

Infection (WBC, Lymphocyte counts)

Liver disfunction (AST, ALT)

Kidney disfunction (Creatinin, Urea, Bilirubin)

Diabetes (blood sugar)

Cholesterol-based illness (LDL, HDL, triglycerides)

Irregularity in electrolytes (Na, K, Cl, Ca)

And that's the gist of it. There's not much to get, unless Yui doesn't want anyone to find out Kousuke is actually diabetic? Maybe she inserted diabetes medicines inside his food? Kousuke did say they have personal chefs, maybe they also received Yui's order. I kinda doubt it though, this seem like a stretch.

It's a different story if Hansuke wanted to check the possible substance inside Kousuke's body, though. Hansuke suspected Kousuke is under the influence; it's the easiest answer that could explain Kousuke's abnormal behavior.

This is just some wild theory but I suspect Yui inserted some antipsychotic drugs in his drink or food (remember the family chefs?) to keep Kousuke in check. If Hansuke finds out about it, it will reveal that Yui has been hiding the fact that Kousuke has some mental disorder, and that could jeopardize his position as the new CFO; that's why Yui doesn't want a blood work. Just a guess 💀

Btw, this is Shinae on episode 14 LMAO

Oh Shinae. Now this doesn't seem like a joke anymore ☠️

Oh. WAIT.

💀💀💀

5. [Yui: what has you scrambling around in distress?] [Kou: I can't recall... ] [Yui: Aww that's too bad...]

Look at that sinister smile. She is DELIGHTED Kousuke forgets. Since Yui knew he hit his head on the wall, I think it's safe to assume(?) she knows Kousuke was looking at patient record earlier. She knows which name that triggers him. Does it mean she doesn't want Kou to find out about Nessa (further, what she did to her)? Has Yui always used Kou's "ignorance" (memory issue) about Nessa's fate to let him mock Nol about her disappereance?

Nol you couldn't be more right. I look forward to see Kou finding out he has been mocking Nol's mom's absence when it's his own "dear mother" who "killed" her. The devastation...

6. I still don't get why would Yui throw away Rand's gift. If anything, I think it'd benefit her more if she give it to Kousuke. Something like: praising him, how he's done such a good job being a CFO that his father would give him an early expensive present, gaslight him into thinking it's not enough, but just a little more until he'd truly acknowledge him, etc. I thought he'd be easier to manipulate if he get enough reward (which he clearly didn't get)? It feels like Yui's manipulation is getting old. Idk, I thought a goal would be much sweeter if he get to taste it, so he'd work even harder. But so far, he didn't taste any of it.

But then it hit me. If Kousuke sees the real present, he'd know his father does care about him. He won't need Yui anymore, he'd start to rely on Rand, as in, the person. And Yui doesn't want that. She wants Kousuke to be fully in her control, she wants him to keep relying on Rand's image by her words; that Rand is a cold man who doesn't care about his family unless Kousuke surpassed him. She just... never let Kousuke to be free. (Which is why I realized Nol has the potential to be a much scarier manipulator than Yui, but that's another topic for another day).

7. Yui touching Kousuke's injured hand without apologizing is such a psychopath thing to do: lacking of guilt or empathy.

8. BAHAHA since we're almost at the end of the year, it's nice to see the reference of earlier episode!

Though, could this be a foreshadowing? If Shinae really becomes Kousuke's assistant in the future, would she be included in the future hospital inspection? Would she play a role in uncovering Nol and Kousuke's mistreatment in the hospital? Lol.

9. MEG!! AOEBJDDJ I hope she would return the gift to Kousuke, just like Shinae who return the bible to Nol! Kousuke needs to know Rand is more caring than he seemed and Yui is much more wicked than he thought! This is probably Meg's role as the member of the Black Team: to open Kousuke's eyes that he still has people who care for him as who he is.

And that's it! See you next week 👋

[looselipssinkships-x]

9.66km//6mi -> 53min:23sec ((5:32 km pace//10.9kmph))((8:53 mile pace//6.7mph))

✨🌹 my body hurts why the fuck is it still cold out 🌹✨ - i made a playlist

- thank you for the venom (my chemical romance) - planetary go (my chemical romance) - hold me like a grudge (fall out boy) - red wine supernova (chappell roan) - jackson you are dying (picture us tiny) - boy division (my chemical romance) - destroya (my chemical romance) - jet pack blues (fall out boy) - alpha dog (fall out boy) - saturday night again (patrick stump) - death valley (fall out boy) - sleeping in (all time low) - the sharpest lives (my chemical romance) - sound of letting go (all time low) - rat a tat (fall out boy) - twin skeletons (hotel in nyc) ((fall out boy))

Honestly i skipped sound of letting go because it was not the vibe for that late in the run. I got home and put electrolytes and salt in my water and promptly drank like half a liter (thirsty ass bitch). Finished my entire gym routine in twenty minutes and power walked to the bus stop because the next one isn't for two hours and i want to be home, showered and in bed by the time it would get me to my destination. But! I finally mustered up the courage to show my hospital ID for the bus fare (we got an email about it as part of the hospital being "more green" or whatever) and the driver was so chill about it (sometimes i wonder if people are nice to me because i radiate a palpable amount of anxiety). It's April 23rd and still a whopping 1°C outside and i am not here for it. I did choose to move to new england though, so that's a bit on me.

[azurdlywisterious]

Ive been thinking about making a comic of all of my fallout ocs arguing with each other, but fake tumblr would work too

⏳ start-startover reblogged mrhouseownsmysoul

😎 anon asked:

Look all I’m saying is that it’s kinda cringe to simp after a singer with a dead career :/

⏳ start-startover answered:

I know thats u suzie. Get tf off anon and say it to my face skank

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Its just embarrassing that youve risked life and limb for a knock off bing crosby is all

⏳ start-startover

At least im not married to a faceless corpse that doesnt care about anything aside from his pretty buildings

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Say that to my face again i fucking dare you. I’ll have you know that he is still very much alive unlike dean domino’s fucking career which mr house pays for need i remind you

⏳ start-startover

Ive felt guilt about a lot of things but i doubt putting you in the dirt will be one of them

#iykyk #im not explaining my time trapped in the timeloop again #just read my pinned post

11 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting reblogged thecoolerscrewdriver

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

It’s got what plants crave!

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

It has electrolytes!

#also we’re out of vodka harvey #if you dont mind picking some up next time youre out

3 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

💥 mygenderis-c4

I miss my wife

🧠 big-mt-head

From what ive gathered @.mrhouseownsmysoul is very insecure about her relationship with the strip’s enigmatic ruler and decided to take it out on @.start-startover, possibly because @.start-startover killed @.robco-official while she was trapped in the time loop

💥 mygenderis-c4

Why tf did you @ them sir???

🧠 big-mt-head

I dont talk about people behind their backs?

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

Sir, i know youre new here, but like… youre allowed to vague people

🧠 big-mt-head reblogged uh-ohthemisery

Elaborate on “vague[ing] people” please

🏃‍♀️ uh-ohthemisery reblogged big-mt-head

@.therealprimmshady come pick up ur weird robot girl shes scaring the hoes again

#i mean ive met her parents so im not surprised she turned out like this #but wow shes gonna get fuckin ratioed out here

108 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🍀 luckiestbastard reblogged not-another-guy-podcasting

Lots of drama going down in the mr house fandom tonight. Couldn’t be me

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

Yeah couldnt be me

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

Yeah couldnt be me

🍀 luckiestbastard

#are yall those other side of the country ghouls that everyone keeps talking about?

42 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🍀 luckiestbastard reblogged mrhouseownsmysoul

💥 mygenderis-c4

I miss my wife

🧠 big-mt-head

From what ive gathered @.mrhouseownsmysoul is very insecure about her relationship with the strip’s enigmatic ruler and decided to take it out on @.start-startover, possibly because @.start-startover killed @.robco-official while she was trapped in the time loop

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Yeah and shes gonna pay! Screw karma, ill collect your debt myself deja!

⏳ start-startover

Hows the bos bunker doing?

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Not my problem, legion scum

⏳ start-startover

YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

Dont put ur trauma in your pinned post next time

⏳ start-startover

Square up bitch ill snipe your pretty head off!

💸 mrhouseownsmysoul

One second my securitron army needs me mwah mwah

🍀 luckiestbastard

Does anyone in this thread smoke weed?

108 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver reblogged not-another-guy-podcasting

📻 not-another-guy-podcasting

Its got what plants crave!

👄 thecoolerscrewdriver

It has electrolytes!

#punk just brew some urself #just pick some corn and razorgrain from the garden outside #unless we need new razorgrain plants

3 notes ⤴️ 🔁 ❤️

🌌 azurdlywisterious

On second thought, maybe it wouldnt be a good idea to give them all tumblrs

[bbyxbunn]

Ik this is gay, but bulimia literally will ruin ur life. One yr of it was enough to fuck up my gut, stomach, and teeth. Constant heart burn constant sourness constant feelings of disgust. Cracking enamels costing me a shitload on top of savings I spent on food i never kept down. It honestly isn’t worth all the suffering. Never lay a hand on processed shit and focus on proteins, water, and electrolytes. It’s honestly embarrassing, but dying of a heart attack caused by bulimia is even more embarrassing. Idk wanted to share since I get a lot of ED bitches on my feed and I’m still dealing with dentist appointments. So unless u have money, carry on. if u don’t, ur fucked.

[dfmbf2]

Tuesday I entered into a period of what I call “keto rush,” no hunger at all, slightly manic feeling, feel really good and sexual, as my body cycles into burning body fat after a period of refeeding these past two weeks which had followed a period of much more extensive fasting that I did to make weight for my physical. My doctor, who is low key fatphobic and very athletic himself, was very happy with my weight and my numbers generally—low sugar, low cholesterol, kidneys and liver excellent—but reminded me that I had been 20 pounds lighter five years ago ago pre-COVID and said he’d like to see that again.

Due to the fasting I had done to bring my weight down low as possible for the weigh-in, my iron was low, so for the last two weeks I’ve been adding high iron foods (beef, fish, and an iron supplement) and today was when I could feel the reset kick in, very flushed and hot and awake, zero interest in food or eating, feel really strong and energetic, so when this happens I ride it hard—went for 10k run, then upped my weights at the gym for a big pump, added my usual ab routine, stripped and sunned naked out back for an hour, and I’m just going to skip eating for the next day at least but really want to take the fast out to Saturday. Lots of electrolyte water with my microbiotocs, vitamins and herbal T supplements are making me feel really sexualized and hot. Due to the low iron test number, doc wants me retested end of October and didn’t say it but implied dropping those last 20 would be something he’d like to see happen by then.

When the metabolism shifts into keto like this, I usually end up dropping 5-7 pounds of fat in a week which means my daily caloric need goes down permanently, so it’s a cycle that reinforces itself over and over as long as I stay sugar free and keep it going. It’s how I ended up extra lean and staying small and tight as I did for years, and it’s super hot thinking I’m on my way back there again.

This keto rush/fatburn period is when typically I would direct all of this erotic diet-bitch energy toward my partner, making him cum over and over, and his semen would be the only thing I consume for the next three days (beyond my supplements, electrolytes and water). Another piece of how the diet-fetish cycle creates a reinforcement loop—slimmer means sexualized, and feeling more sexualized motivates me to adhere to the dietary restriction.

[impala-dreamer]

Captives of The Court - Chapter Thirteen

A Supernatural Series

~Strange things are brewing in Connecticut, so Dean and Y/N go check it out. After stumbling through town, they fall into something that’s been going on a very, very long time. Can they put an end to the bloodshed and make it out unscathed or will they need a little help this time?~

Starring Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N

Series Warnings and Info may be found on the Masterlist Here 

Thank you to those of you who have read and commented/reblogged. I was very proud of this and excited to share it. Those that have interacted- you have my heart <3

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works

There wasn’t much time to rest. They took turns showering and chugging massive quantities of electrolytes while Rowena tinkered with some magical bombs.

Dean was last in the shower, as usual, and Y/N collapsed onto the bed, near to crying with exhaustion.

“Hey, Roe?” She popped up on an elbow to look at the witch.

“You know I don’t like that, Y/N…”

She cleared her throat. “Sorry. Rowena-”

“Better.”

“What were you doing there tonight? I doubt you were just randomly in the neighborhood.”

Rowena smiled gently and looked over her shoulder at Y/N. “Samuel called me and I was nearby. He said that neither of you had returned his calls in a few days and that you might be in need of help. When I saw where you were… Well, I had to come.” She shivered a bit and looked off at the wall, remembering.

Y/N sat up and grabbed another bottle of red stuff. “I take it you know that Bronwyn bitch.”

“Aye. Long time ago we were friends.” Rowena sighed and busied her hands with the bombs. “Well, not friends, exactly. Hard to be friends with someone who’s almost always got their knife against your throat.”

The orange cap twisted off with a crack. “Yeah, I get that.”

“She is incredibly powerful,” Rowena went on. “Very clever, too. Always pushing boundaries and finding new ways to do things. She was never one for classic spells. She preferred to create her own.”

“Sounds like you admire her a bit.”

“No, child. But I can admit when someone is clever beyond what is normal.”

Y/N nodded and took a long drink. “She’s going to be hard to kill.”

Another shrug; red hair tumbling down her back. “Perhaps. If she’s on guard, yes. These bombs will distract the others, and you two can slip in and deal with Ms. Cromwell.”

Y/N thought for a moment. “If we kill her, does the town… I mean, I know the people that directly benefit from her magic will suffer, but the town seems… innocent. There are so many families here, happy people.”

Rowena spun in her chair to face Y/N directly. “The town may fall, yes. But… everything can be rebuilt. I’ve seen cities burn to the ground and pop right back up again. It takes time, but it can be done.”

Guilt washed over Y/N and her shoulders caved inward.

“Do not worry about the town, Y/N. Everything comes at a price, especially magic. I think you’d have learned that by now. It may not be their fault that their homes were built on the backs of blood sacrifices and murder, but there’s nary a place in this country that wasn’t. They’ll be fine.”

The bathroom door opened and a clean and refreshed Winchester emerged. He ran a hand through his wet hair and squinted at Y/N.

“Oh, no. Why are we doing the sad face?” he asked, grabbing a fresh flannel from his bag.

Rowena chirped up. “She’s having a moment of guilt.”

Dean cocked his head and smiled lovingly. “You’re too good for this gig, baby. Too innocent.”

Y/N growled and stood up. “Screw you.” She went to the table and picked up one of the bombs, bouncing it in her hand. “I’ll show you who’s innocent when we get in there and I kill the bitch.”

Dean grinned. “That’s my girl.”

The ride back was quick. The Impala flew over the blacktop as the moon shone down upon the black paint, bounced off the chrome.

“What if they’re gone?” Y/N asked, leg nervously jumping up and down against the door.

Rowena pulled in a deep breath, settling. “They’re all still there. Eating and drinking and making fools of themselves. They won’t be ready to continue until well past midnight. Timing is everything.”

The clock read eleven fifty-five.

Dean pressed the gas pedal to the floor.

Y/N chewed her lip. “What if she tries something witchy? Even back in the shop, I was kinda distracted by her. And I kept… smelling… bread.”

Dean’s face twisted and he looked over at her. “I smelled apple pie. Cinnamon. Lots of cinnamon.”

Rowena leaned forward and rested her hands on the back of their seat. “That would be her seduction spell. It smells like whatever makes you happiest.”

Y/N laughed. “Huh. Kinda like in Harry Potter.” Dean hummed in question, but she waved him off and looked back over her shoulder. “So… what if I smell bakery stuff again?”

Rowena patted her shoulder. “Then you’re in trouble.”

“That’s so helpful, Rowena. Thanks.” Y/N rolled her eyes and pressed her forehead to the window.

“I’ll be there to help,” she promised.

Dean eyed her in the rearview. “You better be.”

Offended, Rowena sat back in her seat. “Have I not proven myself to you Winchesters time and time again?”

He sighed and sucked his teeth. “Yeah, well, just know I’ve got your number. You pull anything and one of these bullets will find its way through your skull.”

Rowena looked into the mirror, daring him with a slick grin. “Deal.”

A banquet was laid out on the long table, crisp linen and shining crystal goblets lined the top. Candles glowed off of every flat surface and beat shadows against the walls. Silverware clinked against antique china as they ate their fill, drank wine until their bellies were sloshing and full.

If they knew what was coming, they seemed unaffected, uncaring of the danger lurking just outside of the dining room.

Bronwyn looked up when the door opened, gray eyes following a small handmade bomb as it rolled across the antique hardwood floor. She stood, kicking back her chair, and turned away from the scene, alerting no one else, fleeing as the bomb went off.

Gray smoke flooded the room and strands of magic popped through the cloud, striking anyone that moved.

Seven were stunned as they moved from the table, dropping to the floor as the tranquilizing spell worked on their muscles.

Dean kicked the door open and Y/N followed him in, guns on the ready, heads clear, tempers triggered.

When the smoke cleared, they counted ten bodies and broke apart, each stalking down a different corridor.

Rowena hung back, searching the library for Bronwyn’s written treasures.

Dean met with Lydia and Mrs. Putnam in the kitchen trying to escape out of the back door. Two shots rang out and blood splattered on the pristine white tiles.

The Sheriff was stalking Y/N just as surely as she was stalking him, and he attacked from behind as she entered the living room. She screamed and kicked, threw herself forward over the sofa, bringing him with her. They tumbled in front of the roaring fire and she came up the winner, pressing her pistol to the bridge of his nose.

“You can’t kill me,” he warned. “I’m the Sheriff. Do you know what the penalty is for killing an officer of the law?”

“Actually, I do.” Y/N laughed under her breath. “But- don’t care.”

She pulled the trigger.

They met up at the door that led down into darkness and Y/N went first this time, pecking Dean on the cheek before rushing down the steps.

Bronwyn was waiting for them in the circle, unarmed and calm. Her mask was gone, her cloak was thrown aside. She looked stunning in the warm glow of the candlelight but Y/N grit her teeth, pushing the idea away.

“Anyone left alive upstairs?” the witch asked.

Dean sucked his teeth. “Sorry. All dead.” He held up his gun, showing it off. “Got a few more rounds with your name on it, don’t worry.”

Bronwyn laughed, loud and confident. “Oh, Dean. I am far from worried.”

She took a step and blew a heavy breath that crossed the room with preternatural speed. Struck in the face by the magical air, Y/N and Dean swayed, their eyes blurring, heads swimming.

“Why don’t you put your guns down?” Bronwyn said, her voice tumbling through their heads like a seductive song. “You had so much fun as my slaves.”

Y/N sucked in a deep breath and saw herself on her knees, face shoved between Bronwyn’s perfect thighs, tongue deep in her sweet pussy. Dean was cradling Bronwyn’s head, his mouth locked to hers, his big hands toying with her breasts.

“No!” Y/N pushed it away, jamming the thought into the back of her head. She looked over at Dean, who was lost in the same moment, and stamped down hard on his foot. “Stay with me, Winchester,” she grit.

He shook his head and advanced, taking a step closer to the witch. “Enough of your games, bitch. There’s no way out of this and no freakin’ way we’re gonna be your sex slaves or whatever.”

Bronwyn’s smile was beautiful and Dean jerked back, shocked by the pull he felt in his gut.

“Oh, but you already are my sex slaves, Dean. Don’t you see?”

She moved closer and let her fingertips brush down Dean’s cheek. He gasped and his shoulders fell as memory took him back.

Y/N ran forward and let Bronwyn have it. She cracked the witch’s jaw hard and the woman stumbled backwards.

She pulled herself together with an aggravated growl as Y/N tried to wake Dean with an equally jarring slap to the face.

“Can’t you just- give in!” Bronwyn raged. “You were so happy to be mindless for me! To be obedient and silent!”

Y/N reached up and twisted Dean’s left nipple hard through his shirt and he jolted awake, falling back against the altar.

“Don’t you want that again?”

Y/N turned back to Bronwyn and looked her over, seemingly defeated.

“It sounds nice,” she said honestly. “Not to have to worry about things anymore. Not to force myself to be happy or find ways to be funny as we’re covered in blood and monster crap day in and day out.”

Bronwyn smiled. “I can give that to you, Y/N. To you both.” She looked over at Dean, who was still a little stunned and hurting.

Y/N chewed her lip, deciding. “I bet you could,” she said softly. “But honestly-” She sighed and lifted her gun, her features hardening as the hunter in her took over. “Hard pass.”

The bullet flew and Bronwyn fell, her body crumbling to ash over the stones.

Out of spite, Y/N spat into the pile of cinder and kicked it with her boot, scattering the mess.

Dean, free from the spell, came up behind her and touched her shoulder. She jumped and spun, ready to knock it out, but he grabbed her instead and kissed her hard.

Victory was hard won, but it was won.

They watched Cromwell Manor burn from a safe distance.

Sure, there would be repercussions for the small town, and more questions than could ever be answered, but that job would fall to someone else.

They were hitting the road in a few minutes.

Rowena tucked a few leatherbound journals into her cloak and smiled at the lovers.

“This was fun,” she joked. “I hope we can not do it again sometime soon.”

Dean pushed himself off of the Impala’s hood and extended a hand. “Thank you, Rowena. I mean it.” He licked his lips and shook her hand. “You really saved our asses.”

The little witch laughed. “I sure did. And what an arse.”

She winked at Y/N who hid her face behind her hands. “Thank you, Rowena.” The hug was quick, but it was enough. “I don’t know how we can thank you enough, really.”

Rowena cocked her head to the side, thinking. “Well…” She looked at YN with a twinkle in her eye. “You can always name the baby after me.”

Dean froze, his jaw dropping.

Y/N fell backwards, slamming into the car. “Uh- wh-what!”

Rowena laughed. “Just kidding. You’re fine.” She batted her lashes and turned, ready to be on her way. “But you do owe me.”

Able to breathe again, Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll send you a fruit basket.”

“I’d prefer a nice bottle of scotch, actually…”

Y/N laughed and sighed, relieved. “Goodbye, Rowena!”

With a backwards wave, she was gone, vanished into the night.

Once alone, Dean turned on his heel and set his arms around Y/N, pinning her to the car. He leaned down and kissed her lips, humming gently when she responded.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, baby?”

She gave him a tender shove and squirmed out from beneath him, sneaking the keys from his pocket.

“Hey!”

“Hey nothing. You’re trying to get frisky.”

Dean laughed and rubbed at the back of his neck, embarrassed. “No, I’m not… OK… Maybe a little.”

She sighed. “Dude, if you even come near me, my pussy may just fall out. Plop!”

He cringed and set his hands on the roof, looking over. “So… no sex tonight?”

She stepped up into the car and mirrored his pose, hands on the roof, chin down and serious. “I will chop that thing off, Dean Winchester, so help me.”

He grinned, all white teeth and freckles in the moonlight.

“Fine. I’ll find a way to keep it in my pants.”

She smiled. “You better. Or I’m getting my sword.”

He cringed and backed up, sliding into the passenger’s seat. “Yes, ma’am.”

Flames licked at the sky as the Impala turned onto the highway, headed back to Kansas and onto another day of just trying to get by.

It wasn’t an easy life, but they had each other, even if only for a little while. And that was enough for both of them.