#sign up on your phone

[beemovieerotica]

everyone (human research scientists) want me carnally (have been consistently selecting me for paid neuroscience studies because i'm the only trans person who has responded to their ads and there is a systemic lack of conclusive science on the bodies and brains of people who do not fall under particular dominant demographic) and i'm being paid big money for it

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Wednesday fandom: *leaking all the down bad moments Wednesday has for Enid* Me:

Me: If Wenclair doesn't happen, me and a lot of people are going to be eating Netflix's ankles holy shit

[jamietwat]

Jamie would 100% make Roy a dating app profile sometime after the Keeley rejecting both of them thing to try to help him move on and meet people when clearly he’s refusing to get back out there organically and he’d think he’s being so helpful and generous and the best wingman ever. He’d handpick what he considers the sexiest pictures he can find and put a bunch of shit Roy would never say thinking he’s being accurate and helpful and not even taking the clear opportunity to make a joke account to embarrass him or anything when he easily could have just made fun of him and chosen the worst pictures possible instead

And then he would be SO offended when it doesn’t go well when Roy finds out about it and is not properly appreciative at all

Roy thinks it’s Jamie’s account when he starts showing Roy girls like what do you think of her and asking him way too many questions when Roy has no interest in participating and has no idea why the fuck Jamie seems incapable of swiping without trying to get Roy’s opinions first. Meanwhile, Roy’s giving one word answers at first and then increasingly trying to brush him off when he doesn’t stop and then he’s just flat out like “Choose your own dates and leave me the fuck out of it” and Jamie’s like “Nah, this is your account. You should have a say” and instead of being grateful and appreciative and thanking Jamie for being oh so generous with his time and energy, Roy just scowls at him and growls out “You did not make a fucking Tinder profile for me” and Jamie just smirks and decides now is not the right moment yet to mention that he actually made him accounts on like three different apps because he wasn’t sure which Roy would like best

Roy barks at him to delete it and Jamie’s all whiny like “Come on, I spent a lot of time on these and you haven’t even considered it. Plus, even if you’re not ready to date someone yet, you’d still be less miserable to be around if you at least found someone to shag in the meantime”

And Roy’s like “Delete it. I don’t want a fucking Tinder profile.” And Jamie looks at him confused for a moment and then seems to have an epiphany as he goes “Oh, do you want a Grindr one instead? Hold on a second” and he flips to a different app and Roy’s too busy being baffled by the fact that Grindr is already on Jamie’s phone and that he’s having to sign out of his own account to try to make one for Roy to even stop him before he’s already trying to sign up for a new account and Roy goes “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want any dating app”

And Jamie pauses his typing and turns and looks at him so skeptically and so judgily and suddenly somehow Roy is trying to fight for his life trying to defend why he’s not looking for some random stranger to date or fuck around with

[lazycranberrydoodles]

COME ON GUYS DON'T LET DIANXIA DOWN

[nadiajustbe]

There's something incredibly strange and funny about the FIRE DEMON from Ingary who somehow managed to work at some random Welsh school for at least a couple of weeks, maybe even longer and not get caught.

Like, did WoTW just lecture ms. Angorian about stuff like printers, photocopies or, well, the whole English Literature program she was supposed to teach for a good amount of time? Or was it just a kind of scripted info for the new form the demon was taking?

And — most importantly — how did WoTW (who, again, lives in Ingary with little to no connection to our world at all) get all this info about Welsh education in a matter of days?

Wikipedia page informs me that she kidnapped Suliman to ask him about it and she did, in fact, asked Sophie about Wales as well. But I cannot believe any of this guys can tell her enough to make a whole fire demon an English teacher, unless Ben was one himself and did willingly tell her the school curriculum — wich is no less hilarious of a concept.

And If she didn't, how couldn't anyone, kids or other schools staff, notice she has no clue about any English literature besides John Dohn and one (1) poem.

I have so many questions.

[witchstone]

can i not even be a part of a whatsapp group about our local nature conservancy without that jumped up wannabe estate group in our area punting their shit

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[aj-lenoire]

THE NEW BOYFRIEND IS THE THERAPIST???

AS IN THE RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST WHO TED EXPLICITLY MENTIONED WAS MICHELLE’S PERSONAL THERAPIST FIRST???

THAT THERAPIST???

HEY ASSHOLE IT’S FUCKING ILLEGAL TO SLEEP WITH YOUR CLIENTS

[skitskatdacat63]

Scenes in the McLaren garage after Fernando faked having engine problems:

+

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

if I have to argue with one more person about why they’re not allowed to fill their meds 3 weeks early or how the pharmacy doesn’t control the window their insurance enforces I’m going to end up on a crime documentary I am going to commit homicide of such a Dexter degree that future historians will throw up at the mention of my name

[the-insanity-of-mojiru]

All their money is going straight to Agata’s pockets.

[too-young-to-fall-in-love]

Hell Raiser

[amiscreations]

hot take of the day: people who hold phones up for the whole time at concerts should be shamed just as much as the people who hold large signs up the whole time.

[kamtoads-blog]

Apparently tiktok recently made a change so that you need to be logged in to watch a video.

This is presumably to encourage more people to sign up to boost their metrics or whatever

Sadly all this has done is make me shrug. If people want me to watch a tiktok now they're going to have to go to more effort than before

[that-was-anticlimactic]

apparently weather is supposed to be really bad here tomorrow afternoon :) like tornado bad :) anxiety is. here :)

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

never have i seen a blood drive not want blood so badly