#simon is almost irredeemable in this but

[yeyinde]

the Simon baby-trapping fic is finally finished but where Price was the fluffy, 80s sitcom (but one filled with gone girl-esque mutual manip, morally ambiguous shenanigans), Simon is what happens when you try to tame a rabid dog.

his idea of want in this is like a child trapping a firefly inside a pretty glass jar filled with shredded grass, leaves, broken sticks, dirt, and crushed flowers. everything is perfect; cosy. comfortable—

but he forgot to poke holes in the lid.

[they-call-me-haiku]

i find it funny how people praise the owl house for breaking the trend of redeeming the villain when the show instead took the laziest path with dealing with their villain. i mean, i get it. not all villains need to be redeemed and sometimes, it's just fine to kill them off or defeat them. no character is irredeemable, but sometimes the point is that people refuse to change.

but what they did with belos was just lazy. he didn't need to be redeemed, sure, but his ending was way too anti-climactic. he was such a complex character to just be labelled as Pure Evil™ and killed off at the end. he didn't need to be redeemed, but he at least deserved to be acknowledged as the three-dimensional complex character that he is. he wasn't just a disney-esque villain who did everything for power and had no depth to his personality. he was a symbol of religious trauma and how it affects people. he was a horrible person but also a sympathetic one, because i can only imagine how harmful growing up in the puritan era would have been.

like i said before, the show being cancelled is not an excuse. i was so excited to see all the religious and spiritual themes in belos's past, and all the theories that fans were coming up with. hell, some fans did a better job of representing belos than the show ever did. i just feel like it was a whole bag of lost potential. belos could have been one of the most insanely complex and well-written villains but the creators of the owl house wants to impress its fans, so they pull a "haha we're not like other shows because we can't sympathize with the villain!" newsflash: you don't need to redeem the villain in order to portray them as sympathetic. azula from avatar and simon from infinity train are good examples of sympathetic villains/antagonists who don't get redeemed.

it's even more ridiculous considering how rushed and badly written lilith's arc was, even though she cursed her sister, tried to kill a literal child, and almost got her sister turned to stone. you'd think if the show despises redemptions so much, they wouldn't give lilith a lazy and rushed redemption arc like that, only to render her useless for the rest of the show.

[inbarfink]

Goddam, just seeing Simon in these last two episodes is really flooding me with so many conflicting emotions.

Because, on the one hand, after his lowest point in Episode 4 - resigning himself to death in the hands of the Scarab - he’s clearly finally doing better. Just look at him making plans

And showing off his smarts

And finally genuinely smiling and feeling happy

And being so glad to meet the alt versions of his friends

And getting excited about his nerdy shit for the first time in glob-knows-how-long

And cracking goofy geeky jokes

And offering others the same grace and kindness he was given when he was trapped under the curse of the Magic Crown

And trying to be comforting and fatherly and give Fionna advice and cheer her up

He’s so clearly doing a lot better now, he’s rediscovering aspects of himself that his depression has torn away from him, he found a meaning and purpose in his life again. And it should warm my heart, and on some level it does....

But it also sends a chill down my spine knowing that this purpose that brought back the light into Simon’s eyes, the purpose he finally found is sacrificing his mind and identity again for the sake of Fionna’s happiness and her world.

He’s throwing himself right back into the miserable existence and the trauma he tries so hard to move forward from. He’s dooming himself because he honestly believes now that he’s always going to be miserable and lonely and fucked up so he might as well have be the kind of miserable and fucked up that is not lucid enough to know how miserable he is all of the time. The kind of misery that at least fits into his world.

Because he started to romanticize being the Ice King in a twisted kinda way, and now he has found the excuse to turn it into a selfless, noble act. Because the only way he feels like he’s useful and like he has worth is by protecting and helping and sacrificing himself for the sake of others.

(And like, especially in light of how he was trying to resign himself to death just moments before coming up with his plan. Not to get extremely dark, but.... suicidal people often seem to ‘get better’ just before the try to kill themselves. Because they feel like they’re finally ‘doing something’ and their misery is almost over. That kinda feels what Simon is going through right now? Becoming the Ice King again is not literally death, but it is a sort of death for Simon Petrikov’s identity.)

And this new sense of purpose in saving Fionnaworld by dooming himself is clearly blinding Simon to so many obviously telegraphed signs that this is a horrible idea.

He saw hints of just how badly Farmworld Finn has been dealing with his own Magic Crown Related Trauma

and maybe if things would’ve been different this could’ve been something they could have commiserated over. Simon could’ve had someone who understood a bit of what he has gone through, and seeing a version of Finn, of all people, face similar struggles - maybe could’ve helped him feel a little less Uniquely and Irredeemably Fucked Up. (For bonus points, they're ALSO both dealing with the grief of losing their Significant Other)

But his newfound obsession that Everything Will Be Better Once He’s Cursed again was making him totally ignore all of this.

And then there’s their little adventure in the Winter Kingdom. Which had both the Candy Queen/Princess Bubblegum as a perfect reminder of the suffering and pain involved in being trapped in the Madness of the Magic Crown

And the Winter King as a reminder of the harmful and twisted things he was capable of doing as the Ice King.

But instead he basically refused to learn any lesson from that Universe that’s not just ‘Fuck That Version of Me Specifically’ and tried to advice Fionna to do the same.

But well, while I am still worried about Simon’s mental state, his improved disposition does give me a little bit of hope. Hope that maybe he himself will notice that he is doing better and won’t be quite so eager to sacrifice his own sanity. Or maybe more likely, hope that now that he’s not just a miserable sadman screaming at their faces

Fionna and Cake are growing to appreciate Simon Petrikov for who he is and will simply refuse to let him sacrifice himself for their sake. Because, yeah, Simon tried to tell Fionna to not worry about all of that Winter Kingdom stuff, that it was just that Simon was ‘messed up’ - but since when does Fionna Campbell do what she’s told?

[teaholder]

People for the most part aren’t saying shit like “uwaaaa simon deserved to die because he was irredeemable!” Literally the whole point was that he could have changed and was given multiple opportunities to, but he chose not to. His death isn’t justified, it’s supposed to be fucked up and sad. Grace literally starts sobbing and holding the ashes of her best friend. She WANTED him to change and he ignored her and uhhhh LITERALLY THREW HER OFF THE TRAIN-

Everyone is aware Simon has trauma. But Grace has trauma too and she improved herself. And the reason that people say “Grace did nothing wrong” is because 97% of Simon fans are racist and misogynistic. Blaming all of his shitty behavior on her, saying his behavior was justified because “Grace lied to him” (never mind the fact that she lied to him because she knew that he would have zero problem KILLING A SIX YEAR OLD-), complaining about how Simon didn’t get redeemed in a show about redemption even though Grace is the protagonist of b3 and the whole season was about her redemption. If anyone says something like “fuck Simon and his white boy problems” it’s because we’re fucking tired of black characters getting shit on because everyone favors the white boy instead. There’s also obvious racist coding on him where he he expects Grace to owe him everything and tell him how to behave

I’ll also say the npd incident on Twitter is shitty as fuck, but it wasn’t a confirmation. An ignorant part of the crew said Simon was a narcissist, got called out, and took it back. It’s a huge stretch to say the season was ableist for killing him. Also anyone with any disorder can be shitty and they aren’t exempt from being called out. You can argue that the killing off of Simon was ableist because it implies that he deserved to die for having npd, but I literally covered that point in the beginning by saying his death was never supposed to be deserved

The last thing I’m gonna say is that like. Do people know they can like an antagonist character without trying to justify their actions??? I personally had fun watching Simon be a bastard and that’s why I liked him. Sometimes a character is traumatized but also a bastard that’s fun to hate. That’s the point of most villains

Sayonara

...okay. with all due respect, anon, not only are you wrong; you are also quite literally proving my point. i'll try to keep this as brief as can be, which if i were honest, might not be very brief.

for starters, most of the people who vehemently hate simon– which really consists of a majority of the fandom, let's be honest– reiterate that his "refusal to change," (ie. his refusal to redeem himself) is why he deserved to die. because if grace changed, learned, and grew as a person, he could have, too; however, his perceived refusal to do so makes him somehow worthy of his demise. this mindset, accompanied with some other things i'll be touching on later, makes it evident that there was ableism written into the show with simon's character. however, we can get to that in due time, since i want to respond to some of the other things you brought up first.

i'm well aware that his death is supposed to be fucked up and sad. that being said, his death can be fucked up and sad while also having ableist ideology embedded within it– the ableism is the problem here. also, if it was meant to be so sad, then why did they demonize him to the extent that they did, and why did the audience celebrate his death? all that being said, i will leave the mentions of the ableism for when i get to where you bring it up.

second of all, saying simon was given multiple opportunities to change ignores the fact that without guidance, some people will not be able to change. without a support system, some people will not be able to change. and don't come in here with "grace guided and supported him!" or "grace doesn't owe him any of that!" as if support isn't something almost everyone needs in order to grow; especially support from a friend. as for my first example, she really didn't guide or support him; not in the way he needed to grow as a person. all of his "opportunities" to change were moments where grace ended up lashing out at him for doing something wrong without explaining to him what he was doing that was wrong. she'd simply end up putting distance between them– making simon think she's going to abandon him just like samantha had– or saying something along the lines of "now's not the time, simon." and scolding him; or, at worst, pulling rank on him. people like simon need love and support to grow as people, and of course you're going to want it from someone you admire and trust. literally the only reason grace came to grow was because she was shown love by this little girl and she saw how much the girl– who she believed to be human at the time– loved this denizen as if she were her own mother. that made her realize she was wrong about the denizens.

the only reason it didn't work like that with simon was due to his previous experiences with samantha. telling himself that the denizens didn't have real emotions was the way he coped with the abandonment. calling them "null"s and saying they don't feel anything made it easier for him to accept that he was abandoned, because that'd mean if they did feel something, then samantha just didn't care for him enough. i know we're on the topic of simon and grace, but it's important to touch on at least one of the reasons why simon's "opportunities" to grow weren't really opportunities, since he's so deep in his maladaptive coping mechanisms and disordered thinking processes that it just doesn't occur to him that tuba was actually capable of loving hazel. even right before he killed tuba, he still believed what he believed despite what he knew about her since he just couldn't wrap his mind around a denizen genuinely caring for a person.

thirdly, on your point of him throwing her off the train– i'm not saying he was in the right to do so, because... no, he obviously wasn't. however, he wasn't initially planning on throwing her off after she saved him. it was her saying she doesn't know why she did it– which, again, i don't blame her for; i understand how she feels there, sometimes your gut tells you to do something, and you just do it– that triggered his paranoia, made him fear that if she doesn't know why she saved him then she could easily betray him again. her breaking his trust made it difficult for him to trust her again, even after she saved his life. the moment he realized what he had done, he started crying and regretted it. yes, he was also laughing, but that's not because he found it entertaining that he had [supposedly] killed his friend.

and, yeah, a lot of simon fans have a chance of being racist and/or misogynistic, that's one thing you got right. and i understand the sentiment of saying she did nothing wrong to combat the bigotry towards her; the only problem is she has done wrong, just as much as simon. she's not perfect, either. acting like she's done nothing wrong completely undermines her growth and development.

moving onto my next point, it does bother me a lot that you said she knew simon would have no problem killing a six year old because that's just... not true. simon never showed malicious intent toward hazel, neither before nor after he learns she's a denizen. grace believed simon would kill hazel because, after he killed tuba (which was initially an order from grace, btw) and she discovered hazel is a denizen, hazel was afraid she was next– which makes sense in the mind of this kid who just lost her parental figure and knows simon's distaste towards denizens. simon values grace's opinions, if she had just sat him down and explained things to him before the point where he started harboring resentment towards her (that is, episode 5 and earlier) then he likely would have listened. would he have a difficult time understanding and accepting it? yes. but he wouldn't have killed hazel. he would try to understand because grace mattered that much to him.

obviously she isn't to blame for [most of] simon's harmful actions, but she was one of the most influential figures in his life and quite literally shaped many of his beliefs and world views, along with samantha. she is not responsible for his actions, but it's important to acknowledge her role in all this, since she had a pretty big one.

also, i'm sorry, but him expecting her to owe him everything– since i assume you mean the line in episode 10, where he said that to grace– was a direct parallel to the first episode of book one where grace saved simon from when his harpoon pack broke. he said he owes her one, and she responded with something along the lines of, "you owe me everything." simon expects her to tell him how to behave because she is not only the leader the the apex, but also because he is quite literally dependant on her; she's the only person his age who he can confide in, since there is absolutely no one else their age around them, they are surrounded by kids several years younger than them.

OKAY. now to the ableism discussion. remember when i said i would try to keep this brief? yeah. apparently there wasn't much i could do to make it brief.

while the canonicity of simon's NPD is semi-subjective (i say "semi" because... it was observably written and coded into his character), the clinical narcissist tweets made by lindsay still massively impacted how the fanbase perceives him and that is undoable. also, it's funny that you say "an ignorant part of the crew" when the whole crew has a massive history of ableism; the fact that they got called out and deleting their tweets does not mean that they took it back and changed for the better. it is not a stretch to say the season was ableist for killing him because it quite literally was.

a while back, a friend of mine had called out lindsay's ableism and owen, you know, the creator of infinity train, blocked them for it. then owen proceeded to delete some tweets where he said things about how sociopaths are incapable of change and he wanted simon to be one of those types of characters in order to show that not everyone on the train is good. owen is literally ableist. the "ignorant parts" of the crew is the whole crew. no one took any statements back, they just tried to sweep everything under the rug. owen saying he wanted to make simon like this and then him dying due to his incapability to change is quite literally proof that ableism was written into his character.

and just one question to you. do you have NPD? like, really, do you? because if you don't, it's awfully strange that you're trying to argue that it's not ableism.

and, finally, yes. people do know that. i know that. i like many villains without justifying their actions. do people know that others are allowed to defend the characters they like who are widely hated and misunderstood by the fandom??? i also had fun watching simon be a bastard, but AS SOMEONE WITH NPD, it fucking irks me how you guys treat him. so sorry that i don't tolerate ableism directed towards my very stigmatized disorder! lmao.

[hanna-kin]

If you dislike Sara this post is not for you

I'm just going to say it, Sara is one of my favourite characters and I feel some people are way too hard on her as a character.

Almost everyday I come across posts about her on different social medias and some are pretty ruthless.

I've heard people call her horrible, irredeemable and disgusting and probably everything in between. While everyone is entitle to their own opinion my heart does break when I hear those words.

I have so much sympathy for Sara and I think she's an amazing character. Lisa and the other writers did an incredible job creating her and Frida's portrayal just adds another layer.

I'm not on the autism spectrum myself so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but it does feel like they have done a good job with the representation because it feels like her character and story doesn't revolve around her being autistic. At the same time it's an important part of her character and explains how she reacts in certain situations. For instance when she bluntly tells Felice’s parents about the situation with Roussaux and then realises she messed up and you can almost sense her feeling disappointed in herself for it especially since she really want to be Felices friend.

Another example that comes to mind is her first interactions with Felice where Felice is not that nice to her and Simon gets protective of her. Back then it does seem like she doesn't care at all about Sara's approval but then we get to know her more and learn that she actually longs for friendships.

I'd like to have a friend, she says to Felice and she's so vulnerable saying it but yet so brave.

She's trying so damn hard to fit in in order to find friends and not be lonely or even worse get bullied again. I can't even imagine how traumatic it must have been for her at her old school. Of course she's going to do anything she can to change that.

And she's so nice to Felice in the beginning even when Felice is treating her poorly. Her directness really helps Felice I think. At the same time Felice is very understanding with her once she gets to know Sara better. I love their friendship so much. It's truly a highlight of the show.

It feels like they both give eachother confidence.

But as much as Sara enjoys her new friends and finally feeling like she belongs somewhere it's also clear that she's still lost and she's losing herself in other ways. She's trying so hard to be liked and fit in that she's changing herself and I think that's very common when you are young. I'm sure her arch in season 2 will be her finding true self.

The comments she makes to Linda are mean and terrible but I also feel sympathetic towards her. Even in that situation. She clearly feels left out. Simon and Linda are teasing her about her clothes and how she acts. I'd be upset too if my family did that. I'd feel like my family made fun of me and didn't like me. Even if it's not true I get why she gets upset about it.

She doesn't have to change for Felice to like her but she hasn't come to that realisation yet. At the same time her family makes fun of her for changing. And when she was her old self she was bullied.

I also think we need to acknowledge how manipulative August is. He's vile pure and simple and he's using her so much. He shows interest in her but essentially he wants something else. And she wants to be liked and approved so of course she's going to be receptive to him.

And she's still honest about what August did and she tells Felice. She's trying to so the right thing.

Only towards the end does the take Felice words to heart. She doesn't always have to say everything.

And yes what she does to Simon with not telling him about August is wrong. Especially since it feels like she's doing it because she wants August to help her move to Hillerska. It's messed up but she's only 17 years old and I'm sure she'll regret it in season 2. I would also love to see more of her relationship with Micke. He's clearly traumatised her and she wants nothing to do with him.

While i understand why Simon went to see him and don't see it as a betrayal I get why she does. And that also plays in to why she's acting the way she does.

With everything she's been through both before and during the series I can't help but feel anything but sympathy for her. She's such an amazing character struggling to find herself, wanting to fit in, have friends and belong. And as she tries to get one it seems like she's losing another.

By trying to gain friends, she's losing a part of herself. By trying to find her new self she's also losing part of her old self. By trying to fit in she's losing part of her relationship with Simon and she even end up betraying him.

It breaks my heart when she says No one likes me when I'm myself

It probably feels like that because at that point she's gained friends at Hillerska but her mother and brother doesn't seem to like her anymore. And when they liked her no one else did and she was bullied relentlessly until she was forced to leave because she was scared to even go to school.

It feels like it's rarely talked about even if it explains so much of her character and her wish to belong somewhere at all cost.

She's so complex and so well written and I'll stand by that I think she gets too much hate.

[kindlespark]

Simon is a villain and abusive yes, but it was has nothing to do with being white especially given he's lived on the train for most of his life.

man. i don't want to have to hold your hand through this but i guess i will! only because i actually find simon's arc as an exploration of white male entitlement incredibly interesting, so im gonna use this anon as a bouncing board to talk about why i love book 3 so much *claps hands* let's learn some critical thinking together!

so. first things first, i think you misunderstand me op!! i don't think simon is racist in canon, or that he does the things he does because he believes he's superior for being white; but his story is still one of white male entitlement, because things don't exist in a vacuum. simon isn't real, he's being written by people to serve a purpose in the narrative, to explore different themes and create a compelling story. so, frankly, it doesn't matter what simon the person has gone through--to me, it's not about him. it's not even about his experiences. it's about the STORY he's telling and the purpose that serves within OUR context.

(but like. even if simon WAS a real person, he was still raised in white society until he was about 10 iirc, and like. kids can still be racist?? he can still have pre-established beliefs about women of colour that haven't been challenged precisely BECAUSE he's been on a train for 8 years and has also put himself in a superior position over other kids on the train. like. i don't personally believe this but there's nothing in canon to prove he's not racist LMAO)

anyway. like all media, infinity train exists alongside OTHER media and uses the language of tropes--and what makes it so compelling imo is that it does very well in subverting said tropes, especially in a 'kids' cartoon! simon, to me, reads as a subversion of the Tragic White Boy trope. he, like so many other white male characters out there, has a traumatic childhood, and does absolutely awful things, but the difference is, the narrative doesn't excuse or condone those actions like how other media tends to. and it's important because he's a white man, and he's presented as a foil to grace, a black woman.

grace, as a black woman, is revolutionary to me as a character. she's a woman of colour that's allowed to be flawed and messy and awful, but she's also a woman of colour who's given the chance to improve, and whom the narrative treats with empathy, separate from the white character. women of colour are NEVER afforded that. they are almost always demonised in media and written without nuance or complexity. they are almost always written as background to the white trauma in the forefront, to help fix the white characters, to save the poor white boy. but grace gets to state explicitly in the narrative that while she knows simon's hurting, she's not responsible for his problems. infinity train book 3 takes the common racist trope in media that demonises women of colour and delegates them to the background in service to white male characters, and shuts it down. it purposely gives simon and grace these same qualities, but refuses to woobify simon and villainise grace the way other media has! infinity train book 3, to me, is about how we should be treating white male entitlement with the condemnation it deserves in our media, and how we should be treating women of colour, especially black women, better.

and the reason why simon's writing to me reads as white male entitlement more than, say, amelia's, is precisely because he's written opposing grace. like, you can't get through book 3 and not think about how the racial optics of a white man trying to kill a black woman is uncomfortable, right? that it's purposeful? i don't think you can ignore it, no matter how little race actually matters within the canon, because again, we don't live in a vacuum. media representation MATTERS. it might not affect simon and grace within canon, but they're not real, and the people who wrote them are, and are writing in this climate and society right now for a reason!

and guess what! i love simon and grace all the more for it. i can love simon BECAUSE the narrative doesn't woobify him, because i don't have to sit there uncomfortable with yet another story that woobifies white men and demonises black women. simon and grace's relationship made me cry all the way through the latter half of the series. it's heart-breaking and tragic and i don't think simon was an irredeemable villain--but it doesn't make his story any less about white male entitlement, and i think that makes his character better for it.

well, that was long! thanks for reading if you did, i have so many damn thoughts about this show i love it so much. sorry if it doesn't change your mind anon, but i think you're better off arguing with someone who genuinely hates simon lol <3

[mermaidsirennikita]

bridgerton--the good, the bad, the ugly

The short of it: Bridgerton excellently captures the tone of Regency romance novels and offers a lot of escapism and great sex scenes, but could definitely use some serious work in terms of how it depicts race and it should have made some further alterations to the dated and flawed source material.  Definitely loved a lot of it and am hotly anticipating the second season, but I want to see more work done and I HOPE that this encourages the adaptation of better (and less inherently flawed) romance novels.

Now for the longer take.

The Good

Bridgerton depicted sex and romance in a way that is totally different from anything I’ve seen in period dramas, for sure, but possibly different from anything I’ve seen on TV.  The romance of it all was woven into almost every aspect of the show. There is the handsome and seemingly severe but extravagantly wealthy and sexually adept duke sweeping into town.  The (multiple) rakes who just want to have fun while also being hot messes.  The awakening of female sexuality and the copious use of the female gaze.  (Note the pretty modest and minimal focus on female nudity, while we get plenty of lingering shots on Simon.).  People want love!  There is pretty minimal violence and perhaps the most physically violent scene involves Simon beating a man up because HE IMPEACHED DAPHNE’S HONOR~.

The sex scenes themselves focused on Daphne’s pleasure for the most part, and were probably among the best I’ve seen since Outlander in terms of chemistry, in terms of the visuals, in terms of focus on sex as an act of emotional connection and FUN. Yes, there was some Unlikely Vaginal Orgasming, but we also saw Simon tell Daphne about masturbation.  On the wedding night, he was pretty clearly touching her to help her enjoy it.  He ate her out... a good bit.  

And aside from that, we got all of the grand speeches, the stolen glances and touches, an excellent buildup of sexual tension that led to some pretty hilarious moments.  

I also really enjoyed many of the performances on this show.  Rege-Jean and Phoebe had great chemistry and excellent back and forth.  Jonathan was a GREAT Anthony.  I would argue that as lackluster as I found his relationship with Siena (more on that in a minute) it largely existed as a way to set him up for his romance with Kate.  He now has even more of a reason to be down with love, as opposed to solely relying on a kind of flimsy tragic backstory.  Additionally, his overprotectiveness of Daphne added tension to the story and made him a source of comedic relief for me?  I loved it.  Give me disaster Anthony all day; can’t wait until he falls to the enemies to lovers trope just like Simon fell to his FLAW-FREE fake dating plan.

A lot of the changes I found were really good.  Obviously, it was important that the show incorporated greater diversity (though they need way more).  Benedict was INFINITELY more fun and interesting than he was in the novels, and acted as another standout for me.  As much as I hate Portia Featherington, I think that the elevation of her to a proper villainess is probably necessary and Polly Walker excels at those types of roles, though they need to maybe have her be less like, actively racist.  I adored the addition of Queen Charlotte; she was excellent comic relief.  Lady Danbury’s expanded role and relationship to Simon was one of the best moves they made.  It touched my entire soul.

Buuuut....

The Bad

The show needs to work on casting more men that are frankly on Rege-Jean’s level.  It feels a bit awkward to see a guy that is by most people’s standards kind of stunning and then.... Colin looks twelve.  Lord Philip is like... a farm guy.  Get rid of the sideburns, we’re in romance novel territory.

In the same note, the girl who played Siena wasn’t a great actress and wasn’t super stunning, so even though I’m fine with her being a placeholder....  Eh.  Go for better casting.  The woman playing Madame Delacroix would’ve played that role so much better and I really enjoyed her dynamic with Benedict because she was just fun.

Frankly, I don’t know what the fuck they’re going to do to make me want to watch Penelope and Colin fall in love.  Their book was already a bit basic--fun, but far from revolutionary.  I don’t really get why they would receive attention similar to that of Kate and Anthony, basically.  The issue is that Colin, again, looks and sound rather young and twerpy.  It obviously wasn’t great for him to be tricked into raising another man’s child, but.... For fuck’s sake, how much would that have affected his life on a practical level.  He’d never know unless he was told, thanks to the lack of DNA tests.  He was marrying far out of his league in terms of attractiveness.  He’s a rich white guy in England with a supportive family.  

I really disliked the fact that Colin told Marina in his huffy little tantrum that he would have married her anyway--because would you have, buddy?  Really?  The thing is that Marina had no way of knowing that and her entire life (and the reputations of her cousins) was on the line.  She didn’t know if she could trust Colin to keep her secret.  They barely knew each other.  He basically came off as a whiny child and I’m fine with him staying in Greece if that’s the plan.

Penelope was just... psychotic.  And that was really disappointing, because I love Nicola and would love to have loved to see the fat girl get her sexy love story.  But first off, lol, it wouldn’t have been sexy because Colin was miscast.  Second, she basically tried to destroy Marina’s life and that of her sisters?  And herself?  Because Colin?  Because Colin, a guy who hasn’t even shown any amount of attraction to her at this point?  Her tears, her whining, it was all too much.  Penelope was dealing with a crush and Marina was dealing with the real Grown Woman issues of a child out of wedlock and as it turned out a dead lover and they were not on equal footing.

I mean, Penelope could very well make a great villainess at this point, and if done well I’d embrace it.  But I do not know how the fuck they can make me interested in her love story.  And the idea of her basically being launched into villainy because she was this chubby white girl obsessively jealous of a beautiful black woman...... not a great look.

The show definitely needs to explore diversity in terms of sexuality too--I don’t think it’s correct to read Benedict as straight because he still seems to be open to exploring.  Once he has more screentime, I think he could totally end up being bisexual, and it’s possible that the writers were trying to feel the audience out in terms of their receptiveness to taking a straight character who has a big straight love story in the books and making him LGBT+.  Eloise could also easily be a lesbian, and I’d be thrilled to see that happen.  They need to do something to expand the world, and if there are 8 Bridgerton kids, all of them being straight as an arrow seems SO unlikely.

The Ugly

Obviously, the rape scene was bad and should have been written out.  Simon could have gotten caught up in the moment and blown up at Daphne after he accidentally didn’t pull out in time.  Men.... accidentally don’t pull out in time... a lot.  That’s how babies happen.  It would’ve been believable, and due to our sympathies being with Simon largely, I don’t think he would have become irredeemable if he was more at fault than Daphne.  

As it was, I will say that the scene was somewhat better than it played in the books because Simon was conscious and totally sober, and it was a bit?  Confusing?  That he didn’t just roll Daphne over and pull out?  Because she wasn’t really clearly trying as hard as she was in the book to wrap her legs around him and hold him tight.  But it remained a rape scene.  The show also did a better job, I think, of establishing how fucked up it was that Simon took advantage of Daphne’s lack of knowledge.  Whatever he said about thinking she knew what was up--he knew she didn’t even know about masturbation.  He had to know she wouldn’t understand what pulling out meant.  He did very clearly mislead her to think that he was sterile and therefore denied Daphne her ability to give informed consent.  Did that justify what Daphne did?  Nope.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  But both of them did a fucked up thing and I think that we honestly could’ve stopped at Simon’s misleading.

The issue too is that this leads into a bigger problem the show had.  It wanted to include diversity (yay!) but did not consider the total implications of what was happening (not yay).  Daphne and Simon’s dynamic is inevitably influenced by the fact that she’s a white woman and he’s a black man, regardless of whatever handwaves happened.  This influences the sexual assault and makes it even more messy.

Speaking of mess, I’m not sure what exactly would have fixed the “we don’t want this to be a colorblind casting” issue... but the explanation they came up with wasn’t good.  Never mind that this makes everything SUPER confusing (racism is over like..... maybe 50 years MAX after Queen Charlotte’s marriage if we assume she was a teen when she married and is in her 60s now?) but Lady Danbury’s dialogue explaining this was HORRENDOUS.  “One of them fell in love with one of us”.  The implications are awful.  I don’t know if perhaps setting back the integration of society centuries earlier would have helped?  But this wasn’t it.

Additionally, the writers and casting directors didn’t seem to get that diversity is all well and good, but what about the fact that almost every black character has a light skin tone?  Why are there so few black female characters?  Why is Marina, the most prominent woc on the show, given the “pregnant and desperately trying to trick a man into marrying her until her jealous white cousin fucks her life up and she is humiliated into settling for a loveless match” plot?  I desperately hope we see her next season, falling in love with Sir Phillip or perhaps having experienced a plot twist that gives her someone else...  And she better not die. Eloise can find someone else if Marina really ends up with Sir Philip.

Ultimately, again, I really loved the show.  But it needs to work on some things.  I think that a lot of its issues can be addressed and fixed in a future season, and I HOPE they do that.

[starryarchitect]

Simon's even more sympathetic if you over analyze because he clearly has a mental illness making him afraid of abandonment, resistant to change, emotionally unstable and having immense difficulty relating to others. Like he gets worried about Hazel in the cabin when the Cat gets near her, its clearly foreshadowing the next episode.

Agreed! And actually, I pulled put the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) to research your suggestion that Simon has some mental disorder, and . . . you're right! He almost definitely has a mental disorder.

The criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder are: (not quoted, but paraphrased directly from the DSM-5)

Instability in personal relationships and self-image, impulsivity, indicated by five or more of the following:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. - check, this is kinda Simon's shtick.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, fluctuating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. - there's not much potential for a "pattern" here, but his relationship with Grace definitely fits this.

Markedly and persistently unstable/fluctuating self-image or sense of self. - Simon does not qualify—if anything, his inability to paradigm shift indicates the exact opposite.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging. - violence, aggression, murder, all may or may not qualify. Simon ticks this box.

Recurrent suicidal or self-mutilating behavior or threats. - Simon does not qualify for this.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood. - In other words, subject responds intensely to swings in interpersonal relationships. Which sounds a heck of a lot like episodes eight through ten. Check.

Chronic feelings of emptiness. - We can't know whether or not this is true, because we can't really get inside a cartoon character's head. So . . . maybe?

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger. - This is definitely present in him. He has a temper, he shouts, he gets angry, and it gets more extreme as the show progresses.

Transient, stress-related paranoia or severe dissociative symptoms. - Simon displays this too—lines like "everyone always lies to me" come to mind as evidence. (No dissociative tendencies, but the paranoia is present, so he meets this criterion.)

Now, the subject of a diagnosis needs to meet at least five of these criteria to qualify for BPD. Simon definitely meets five of these criteria (specifically, criteria one, four, six, eight, and nine), possibly even a few more (two, perhaps seven). In other words, Simon Laurent has Borderline Personality Disorder.

I'm not sure what conclusion to draw from this discovery that Simon is provably mentally ill. Does it mean calling him "evil" is deeply problematic? Does it mean he could've been saved? Does it mean he can't be blamed? Or is it just as toxic to argue that people with mental disorders are not responsible for their own actions as it is to argue that people with personality disorders are inherently irredeemable? (Not that anyone's argued either of those points—I'm mostly thinking in frantic hypotheticals at the moment.)

And of course these questions raise other questions (well, one other question) that has been on my mind since I first heard Simon called "irredeemable." What do people mean by "he's irredeemable"? Do they mean he couldn't improve and grow after the events of episode ten? Do they mean that his actions were unforgivable? Do they mean he was predestined to be a murderer from episode one, unlike the redeemable Grace? "Irredeemable" has become Simon's buzzword, but no one's ever really defined it. And until I get a concrete definition, I can't slap that label on him and throw him in the garbage with the rest of the characters I hate. (To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's wrong that he's irredeemable, I'm just asking what people mean when they say he's irredeemable.)

However, one thing is clear: as Anon pointed out, Simon is easy to relate to, easy to sympathize with, and easy to pity because of this. We may not all have personality disorders, but we all have flaws that make our brains work differently from how we'd like them to, whether those flaws are anger, laziness, or selfishness, or a mental illness, or something else. Yes, few of us are driven to be murderers because of this, but it still means that we can feel bad for Simon, even as we condemn his actions.

Every time I post something about Simon and it's not ten thousand words long, I'm showing enormous self-restraint and deserve a few claps. Also, sorry, Anon, for using your ask as an excuse to rant about Simon. You made a good point and I wanted to explore it!

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 6.14}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.8k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

On the other side of the door, inside the classroom, Robin closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. Obviously she hadn't added anything to the antidote, hadn't even had the time to, but she might as well make use of his fear for her in that regard. He undoubtedly believed that she had given him a sleeping draught, and she was glad for her bad reputation for once. Even more, she was glad that it had just been a work of magic. There was still nobody who sincerely cared about her, and she found herself almost relieved at that, even if for a reason she did not quite understand. Perhaps because she wouldn't have to deal with Julius anymore, nor any other idiot, if she just was incapable of being loved. Or perhaps because it was what she thought she deserved after all.

"How did you know it was a love potion?" Snape's deep voice ghosted through the room, quiet and haunting.

Robin's blood froze over with a start, and she stood perfectly still in her spot. "What?" She asked in a whisper while her heart exploded into a frantic drumming. There was nobody here but them… There was nobody he could be speaking to but her.

"He didn't show the usual signs of forced infatuation, so how did you know his affection wasn't real?" He asked in quiet sincerity, uncharacteristically quiet even, and Robin's eyes flew open in time to observe how he moved from the edge of his desk to a stool behind it.

"Oh, come on... As if anyone would actually care about me like that." She scoffed quietly, and her legs started carrying her through the room on their own account until she stood next to her own desk again.

"Whyever not?"

"Because nobody even likes me at all these days! I'm hardly tolerated wherever I go, and even that is only because people are too scared to send me away. There's nobody who actually wants to be part of my life."

"I sincerely doubt that." He said quietly, and something within Robin finally and irredeemably snapped.

"How would you know, huh? You haven't talked to me in three bloody months!!!" Robin yelled at him without a single care in the world if it was in the middle of the goddamn night or not. "Cas is always gone since she and Simon started dating, Jorien is blaming me for her best friend's absence, and don't even get me started on my bloody parents! So yes, there is literally nobody who cares about me at this point!"

She was tired of the anger, of the pain, and of her own crumbling walls that lay in ashes at last. She didn't even notice herself moving in closer to him until he turned in his seat to face her. She didn't notice until it was too late to go back.

"I care about you." Snape replied instinctively upon her words, a blurt of truth that had evaded his facades, and he seemed surprised himself that such a thing had escaped his lips so freely after so long. His torn neutrality started crumbling slowly, when finally he added, "A lot."

"Do you, really? Because as far as I'm aware, people don't just ignore someone they care about without any bloody reason! From one day to the next you just cut me off entirely, from our work and from talking, and from yourself! Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?!" Robin's voice grew thicker, laced with tears that started falling from her eyes with all the anger and hurt she didn't care to hide anymore.

"I was wrong, and that is painfully obvious to me now." Snape said, and while still spoken in honest certainty, his voice grew more quiet with every word. "I made a mistake."

"You damn well did!"

"I know." He held her gaze for a moment longer, eyes like a mirror of her own emotions, until at last he had to look away. But his voice equalled his eyes in sadness either way. "I am truly sorry."

"Sorry doesn't nearly cover it this time! You used to ask for my honesty, so here you have it now: I cried myself to sleep more often than I care to admit ever since new year's. I was lonely to the point of shattering, and I kept asking myself just what I have done wrong. What could I possibly have done to deserve to be treated like that, by someone I care about so deeply." Robin started out loud and ended in a whisper, honest words spoken for him to hear and yet as her own catharsis all over again. A better one, this time. A crescendo of emotion. "But then I realized that I hadn't done anything wrong at all. I didn't deserve to be treated like that, and I didn't deserve the pain. I still don't."

"I never thought that you would blame yourself for any of this. I never meant to hurt you." His gaze still lingered on the ground, but what Robin saw of his face was painted in sorrow. The last walls crumbling, facades but burning ashes. "I was wrong in all I believed, and I made the most terrible mistake by doing what I did. You didn't deserve any of it, which makes it all the more reasonable that you must hate me now."

"Sometimes it's easier to hate something you know you can't have anyway." She replied in an almost quiet calm, allowing the pain that lingered to wash over her while the anger faded into shallow dust and smoke.

"I know." He breathed gravely. "All too well."

"And you know that I'm not one to take the easy way out of anything of importance." Robin took a deep breath, then moved again closer to him in certainty. One step, then another, while her voice stayed steady as herself. She had made up her mind, she had long ago. "I could never hate you. I promised you that I wouldn't give up on you, and I won't. You really screwed this up, you hurt me, and I'm going to be mad at you for a while... But I still forgive you."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, Robin. Not this time." He finally looked up at her in that rawest kind of honesty, his voice both hoarse and laced with equal sadness as still consumed his eyes. His soul was bleeding, seeping emotions pouring into the open in a way Robin had never seen before. Not like this. It broke her heart to see him like that, and she wanted to make sure she never had to again.

"Forgiveness isn't something that's deserved. It's given to those who need it." Her words were gentle, her voice soft in ways she had never risen up to until now. Without a speckle of doubt on her mind she took the one final step to stand directly in front of him. "Mistakes are the foundation of change, and also of improvement if only they are forgiven first. I'm not going to stand in the way of us being better than this, both of us, and I need you not to either." She held his gaze of drowning sadness with a deep intensity in return, and every bit of desperate hope she felt was out in the open now. Forgiveness really is the highest art of loving. "Be better with me. Please."

Snape merely stared up at her for a few seconds, in that overwhelming unveiled honesty, until at last he nodded, slowly, but in growing certainty no less. Robin released a breath she had held without her knowing, fighting the tears that lingered in her eyes, but it was a fight she was doomed to lose when he dropped his head once more.

Slowly as if afraid to break her, he rested his forehead against her torso in a tender touch, without a word, without a breath. Robin's heart skipped a beat, and another and another, and it now was her who seemed to be frozen by a single touch. She understood him now, understood what such a simple gesture could do to you. Her chest filled with the unceasing warmth of pure adoration, and she slowly placed her hands on his shoulders first, careful in the unusual touch, before she allowed herself to gently wrap her arms around him entirely.

A few seconds passed while Robin drew soothing circles on his back, and she kept reminding herself to breathe. A terrible idea, really, for her breathing hitched the very second she felt his arms encircling her in return, large hands resting on her back while pulling her ineffably closer until she had no choice but to stand flush against him. His hold on her waist tightened, more and more while yet his forehead remained pressed against her upper stomach, keeping his gaze directed to the stones beneath them. Robin closed her eyes against the waves of roaring tears, and gladly let herself tighten her hold on him in return.

"I missed you." Snape finally said, barely above a whisper, but he managed to hold her closer still, clinging onto her almost as if she would vanish any moment now.

"I missed you too." Robin breathed back, and her voice cracked when her tears finally won the fight, spilling down her cheeks only to catch on her lips and drip down her chin into rivers of black. Finally, she couldn't help the small smile that took over her lips no less.

They both were too overwhelmed to say any more after that, for seconds, minutes, eternities… and the silence had mercy on them for the longest time while they simply held onto each other. They needed this, both of them.

"Will you stay with me if I let go of you?" Snape eventually asked, quietly but also calmer than before, less shattered but still uncertain of what the answer might be.

"Obviously." Robin smiled in return, as she couldn't help teasing him even if just to bring a little light into the moment. A few seconds of silence passed, she almost feared that she had actually done wrong this time, but then he started chuckling softly. At first Robin felt it more than she heard it, but after a moment when it became audible indeed, she had no choice but to laugh as well. For no reason, and yet for all of them at once.

They did let go of each other then, reluctantly, but in the knowledge that it had to be. Robin took a step backwards to give him some room which he used to rise to his feet, finally lifting his gaze as well to meet hers once again. The openness had prevailed, but the deep sorrow was retreating, and taking the hurt with it. Good. A sight to behold.

"I better go clean up my desk, huh?" Robin stated more than asked, giving him a half smile while she walked backwards to keep her gaze locked with his. Somehow the idea of letting him out of her sight right now seemed entirely impossible.

"Don't bother, I will have the third years take care of it in detention tomorrow." He replied as his eyes followed her every movement as well. "I believe I still owe you a coffee. How would you like that instead?"

"You owe me far more than one coffee. More like… three months of coffee." Her smile widened a little as she only grabbed her backpack before moving back towards him. "But we've got to start somewhere after all."

He looked relieved upon her words, more so than she had expected, and Robin once more had to realize just how afraid he actually was that she would change her mind, would choose to hate and abandon him after all. But she would never, couldn't for anything in the world, and she would do her best to make him understand that from here on. She wouldn't make the same mistake he had, only to send them both into a devil's circle of common misery. No, she would be better than that. They would be.

As they ought to, they moved over into the office for coffee, to sit at the small table in their usual spots, and in a way, it felt like it had been just yesterday that they had been sitting here last. Snape made coffee while Robin let her gaze wander around the room, taking in its deterioration in comparison to her last visit. It was almost amusing to her in a way, that whoever else came in here surely must deem the space tidy at the least, if not even pedantically organized and neat. To Robin however, who had spent more time here than she should probably admit, the difference was undeniable. Usually the only space that would be a small mess was the lab, and she was sure he only allowed it to be because nobody but him and her ever came in there, but now the office had become more of a mess than the lab had ever been. She found herself curious to see how it would develop from here on.

Finally a mug was placed in front of her, and she was drawn out of her head when Snape took his seat across from her. Taking a deep breath, Robin looked down at the steaming black liquid and smiled, then frowned a little.

"This doesn't smell like I remember it to… Is it the same instant coffee we've always had?" She looked up with a smile and slightly raised eyebrows, inhaling the unusually rich scent of the coffee once again.

"No… this is real coffee, for once. It should taste better than what we used to have."

Robin's curiosity got the better of her, and she took a careful sip even though it was still way too hot. And indeed, it did taste better, a million times even, and that made burning her tongue worth it as she took another sip. They both stayed quiet for a while after that, in the simple enjoyment of the situation that used to be such an essential part of both their days. Somehow, Robin knew that it would be again after today.

"Will you tell me why you put us through all this?" She asked after a while, a calm and careful inquiry only. "As much as I can't quite grasp anything that happened in the last three months... I am starting to understand that this hurt you just as much as it hurt me."

"It did." Snape replied quietly, while his expression turned into seriousness instead of sorrow at least. "There were multiple thoughts involved, but none of them are reason nor excuse for what happened. I simply was wrong, and I did wrong in return."

"I would still like to know." Robin insisted with a half smile. "Please?"

"The easiest one happens to also be the gravest." He sighed, peering down at his coffee, his hands, the table… anywhere but at Robin. "I was afraid. And fear makes people do terrible things."

"Afraid of what?"

"A variety of matters, really, but ultimately only of myself. Of how attached I have gotten to you without even being aware of it."

Robin frowned while yet her heart skipped a beat upon his reply, but she tried to understand instead of basking in it. "Why is that something to be afraid of? Isn't attachment an essential part of every close… friendship?"

"Certainly, yet that is the other issue... I believed that it might make your life easier if you didn't have to endure me as a friend."

"Well, we both saw how not having you in my life turned out." Robin rolled her eyes before she could help it, but when he looked up at her once more, her expression softened immediately. "You see now how stupid that thought was, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Good." She gave him a half smile, in an attempt to cheer him up. "Who else would have coffee with me in the middle of the night, huh? You're my best friend; that's in your job description."

His lips tugged upwards into a small smile, which yet grew tainted all too soon. "Unfortunately, I am also your professor as for now. For a class you don't need, in a subject you know just as well as I do. Perhaps even better, in some regards. It really is a ridiculous predicament we are in... It has been for a while now."

"It won't be for much longer." Robin shrugged, looking down at her almost empty mug while swirling the remainder of the coffee around the bottom.

"What do you mean by that?" Snape asked almost reluctantly, and his tone took on that barest hint of fear again that made Robin look up at him in an instant.

"I mean that Professor Dumbledore approached me a while ago and suggested that I take the N.E.W.T.s for potions and herbology this year already. He brought forth pretty much the same argument, actually, saying that it simply wouldn't make sense for me to attend those classes for another year, and he believes that the extra time I'll thereby gain would be better spent with my own studies. I agreed with him, and he had it approved by the ministry a few weeks ago."

"I had no idea..." Snape mused quietly, surprised and even a little hurt perhaps, then however his brows furrowed into a deep frown. "Have you been preparing for those exams all by yourself this entire time?"

"Obviously. N.E.W.T.s are a real challenge even for me, and if I'm skipping a year of classes, I have to work even harder." Robin shrugged yet again, but tried to keep her face positive nonetheless. "I might be good in the subjects themselves, but there is still a lot of work to do before the exams. Either way, the excessive studying has been quite a good distraction over the past few weeks."

"I should have been there to help you from the start." Snape avoided her gaze yet again, and instead frowned at the bookshelf on the opposite wall. "But I had to be a pathetic fool and turn a blind eye to everything that involved you."

"Perhaps it's a minor form of punishment then that I've been doing pretty well without you, actually. Academically, I mean... Everything else not so much. Or… not at all."

"Why would that be a punishment? I couldn't see your success as anything other than delightful even if I tried." His eyes were back on hers in an instant, questioning, frowning.

"Well, I know how much you enjoy knowing better, or elaborately telling me all the ways in which I'm wrong." Robin said with a small smirk, teasing him yet again even if it probably was the last thing any sane person would do. "It must be a setback for your pride to see that I don't need your knowledge to be good at potions."

"I believe 'good' is an understatement." Snape replied in pointed factuality, with the worst feigned innocence ever, which in return contradicted the fact that he was being entirely honest. "And quite frankly, I could not be more relieved to know that you do not need me at all to be beyond outstanding in any subject."

"It's not fair if you're being all honest with me now..." Robin protested with a groan and laugh, and an equally feigned pout. "How am I supposed to tease you without feeling like an idiot?"

At that, Snape actually did smile. "You will find a way."

"You can be certain of that."

… … …

They stayed sitting in the office for hours, slowly catching up on all the things that had happened in the past months, while Snape kept on making them coffee without a single word of complaint or tease. Robin appreciated it, both the gesture and the coffee itself, but she also kept on telling him that he didn't have to, that there were no conditions for her to stay. (Nor for her to love him, which her eyes kept saying but her lips wouldn't dare to.) He kept on making her coffee nonetheless.

It was dawning when they noticed how much time had passed, and it was three seconds later when they decided that they didn't care. They kept on chatting about Robin's situation with Cas and Jorien, about the impending detention for whoever had given that love potion to Julius, and lastly also about Morgan's eclectic behavior ever since the ball.

It took Robin a while to convince Snape that while it certainly had been horrible to deal with Morgan and his crude shenanigans alone, she yet had come out alright after every instance of confrontation. Nonetheless, neither of them had to mention that things would hopefully be better again from now on. Morgan didn't stand a chance against either of them, but together they were better nonetheless.

When it was about time for breakfast at last, they wordlessly agreed that it probably would be better to get cleaned up and changed first, for they both had a long night painted on their faces, and the smell of fire and coffee clinging to their robes. But at least Robin did get him to agree to actually attend the meal for once, which in her opinion was about as good a start into the day as she's had in a long while.

When they parted in the crossing of hallways at last and Robin henceforth made her way towards her room, she couldn't help wondering where exactly Snape's quarters were located in the castle. Probably in the dungeons somewhere, sure, but where exactly? There were too many hallways, too many locked doors and ineffable possibilities for secret rooms behind uncountable pictures and stones. Perhaps, one of these days she would actually muster up the courage to ask him. Just out of curiosity. As reference for a future that would never come to be.

When Robin entered her room, Cas was painting her face with that horrible brown paste while Jorien was just getting dressed. A normal morning, then.

"Hey guys." She greeted them with an almost happy little sigh, but her mind soon came back to reality and she had to realize that the conflict with her roommates hadn't just disappeared overnight. And it definitely hadn't solved itself just by talking about it with someone at last.

"Oh look, she's happy." Jorien grumbled to herself, then turned to walk away. "Who cares."

"Hey Robin! You won't believe what happened last night!" Cas started in excitement, but kept her eyes trained on the small mirror in her lap.

Robin ignored Jorien's comment for now and dropped her bag onto her bed, then went on to change into something less wrinkled. Meanwhile, she only partially listened to Cas rambling on about whatever it was that Simon or one of his friends had done this time.

"Isn't that just the cutest thing ever?!" Cas finished at last, while Robin was about to make an unnoticed excit.

"Yeah, perhaps. You must know best, huh?" She replied without actually knowing what she was agreeing to, but Cas didn't pay much attention to her reply anyway, and thus Robin could slip away into the bathroom without being held up by any more questions.

When she returned ten minutes later, both Cas and Jorien were ready to leave for breakfast, but neither of them spoke to the other nor made any attempt to even acknowledge the other's existence. And honestly, Robin was fed up with the childish behavior of all individuals concerned, herself included. She had been able to sort out the far larger problem last night, and she would be able to solve this one as well. Really, she should have done this long ago. Would have, hadn't everything else come in the way.

"I would like to see both of you after breakfast. We haven't done proper tutoring ever since Christmas, and I believe it would be a good idea to start with it again. Foremostly because the three of us seriously need to start talking to each other again." She said into the open room while effectively blocking the door to the hallway. Gods, she hated playing the superior part in this, but quite honestly she didn't see another way. A simple attempt to talk to either of them hadn't worked in the months prior, and it surely wouldn't work now.

"Can't." Cas was quick to reply, shrugging. "Sorry, I'm meeting Simon after breakfast."

"You surely can meet him just a little later for once, can't you?" Robin sighed with a neutral expression and an attempt at a calm smile. "All I'm asking for is one hour."

"Just because you're all happy again for once after being gone all night doesn't mean you can order us around like that!" Jorien snapped an instant later, and Robin honestly felt as startled by the sudden outburst as hurt by the comment itself.

"Have you gone mad or what's your bloody problem?!" Cas yelled back at Jorien before Robin could intervene. "Honestly, what's gotten into you?"

"What's gotten into YOU is the real question here!" Jorien returned, ignoring Robin now just as Cas did. "You and your pathetic excuse of a relationship! Do you even realize that there are other people on this planet than bloody Simon?!"

"Stop. It. Now." Robin cut in before either of them could continue, in a tone as sharp as a dagger and likely as dangerous, but she didn't yell. She didn't have to, for both girls turned their attention to her immediately with almost startled faces; Robin never spoke to them like that, and she honestly regretted that she had to now. "If you act like children, I will treat you like children. And since you refuse to settle this like adults, I will be seeing both of you for detention after breakfast."

"You can't give us detention." Jorien scoffed and crossed her arms in defiance. "Don't make yourself more important than you are."

"I most definitely can, so you better find yourselves in the potions classroom after breakfast if you don't want me to drag you there while your friends are watching." Robin said in the cold calm she usually would use on people she wished to intimidate, and it honestly felt weird to use it under these circumstances now instead. But she would rather have both girls be friends again and hate her together for what she was doing to them now, than to watch their friendship crumbling apart over a relationship that probably wouldn't last until the end of the school year. Either way, she saw no version of this that had all three of them being good with each other again, and if that's what it took, she would gladly sacrifice her own connection to them to save their friendship at least.

"Okay." Cas finally replied quietly, staring at her own feet with a small pout.

"Not okay!" Jorien protested however, and Robin had to do her best not to roll her eyes. The girl really was quite as stubborn as Robin herself could be, and Robin honestly understood why Snape had been so annoyed with her at times in the more distant past. But Jorien wasn't giving up on it. "I refuse to have a bloody student on an ego trip give me false detention for nothing!"

"You insulted me twice now, does that make you feel better about yourself? Or is it part of your own justification for the anger you direct at me?" Robin merely asked her in return, entirely calmly (as difficult as that was), and turned on her heels to open the door. "If you don't want to believe me, we can ask someone who most definitely will confirm that for you two, my word is law indeed."

"I'll believe it when I see it." Jorien scoffed and left the bedroom after Robin, following on her heels while Cas closed the door after them and even then stayed a few feet behind.

Robin counted her breaths as she made her way towards breakfast, calming herself down as much as possible, while she felt bad already for what she meant to do. Really, bothering Snape with this had not been on her agenda for today. They had been good again for mere hours, and now… oh well. Perhaps it did have a positive side to it though; at least it would be another piece of proof to him that she definitely didn't withdraw from him at all. Things were going to be alright again from here on; she was going to see to that at last.

______________________________

Tags:

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[adamrevi3ws]

Red Rocket

Sean Baker’s Red Rocket is quite similar to Michael Sarnoski’s Pig, in the way that they’re both two of the best films of 2021, 70% due to such an unmatched performance by a star otherwise considered a dark horse of the industry. Instead of Nicholas Cage, Red Rocket instead casts washed-up MTV personality Simon Rex as its leading man, portraying a similarly washed-up porn star returning to his rural gulf coast hometown after his life goes south.

That being said, its overall quality and Oscar-worthy performance are about all Red Rocket has in common with Pig. Instead, it also shares a bit of DNA with Uncut Gems its focus on an irredeemable scumbag who can’t stop worsening the life of everyone around him. While Red Rocket is far less stressful, Rex absolutely nails his character as a messy, manipulative, yet awfully charismatic and fast-talking creep that would fit perfectly in a Safdie Brothers film. As many have said before, it’s so easy to hate his character, but, confusingly enough, Rex’s natural screen presence brings so much erratic charm that it’s also easy to understand why both the audience and the characters in the film are drawn to this shiny piece of human garbage. As often as it inspires pure disgust, it’s still a strange delight to see Mikey Saber (Rex’s character) constantly build houses of cards he can’t help but tear down.

Simon Rex’s once-in-a-lifetime performance isn’t the only thing Red Rocket has going for it. This is my first Sean Baker film, and I’m quite impressed by his abilities as a director. He utterly excels at gorgeous color grading, editing, and comedy (the last two are often intertwined), which help enrich Saber’s subtle (and not so subtle) cartoony rampages and misadventures around town. It almost feels tongue in cheek or self-indulgent to some extent, but not enough to be concerning. Baker also delivers on some great realism and worldbuilding, making an absurdly convincing portrait of small-town America, possibly due to its use of non-actors and on-location filming. I wouldn’t say Red Rocket is perfect, mainly because of a slightly slow first half and an ending that almost feels cut off, but it gets pretty damn close

Red Rocket is a funny, gorgeous, and weirdly compelling character study that truly earns its #5 on my best of 2021 list. I give it a 9.4/10.

[gone-series-orchid]

I know you've said before that you think Caine and Drake are pretty one-dimensional (and I agree completely). I was wondering if there were any other villains that you wish had been explored more instead of giving those two more page time in later books. Or if there were any characters that you thought could have had villainous potential that were unexplored??

wow, interesting question! i think my main problem with caine and drake is that they’re just kind of blandly evil, one-dimensional like you said. i think, ideally, villains should feel like real people.

funnily enough, i think zil probably comes closest to embodying that in this series. he’s mean-spirited from the beginning, but it’s only under lance’s influence (from what i remember) that he becomes a real threat due to his gaining confidence. i think it would have been nice to see more of him in the series—he’s insecure in his role as leader of the human crew, which makes him fallible. he’s also kind of unnerved by lance’s neo-nazism. he’s arguably the most intelligent out of the crew aside from lance. he’s not sympathetic, per se, but he is compelling.

i would’ve liked to see him interact more directly with the protagonists—especially astrid, because i think she should get a chance to one-up him in some way after he was thinking creepy thoughts about her in hunger. also, i think astrid, being the smartie she is, would probably be most likely to try to persuade him to turn over a new leaf—she’s a normal, and a white, aryan-looking (gag) normal at that, which would probably satisfy lance, and she still has distinct power in the fayz. though zil could probably poke a hole in her argument by pointing out that she only really has that power because she’s sam’s girlfriend, which is true. anyway, they could have words about it.

i think zil is compelling because he has the potential to be redeemed. it’s a slight potential, because he’s already done some pretty evil things, but he’s not totally evil—he has to justify the violence he commits in order to accept it, which is more than caine or drake does. we never forget that, at the end of the day, he’s still an insecure, blustering twelve-year-old. he’s an anti-moof bigot, but he could change. i think lance, more than zil, represents total irredeemable evil. he represents what zil could descend into being. he’s the devil on his shoulder (astrid could potentially be the angel if she maybe switched tactics from lawful punishment to direct emotional manipulation).

i’m a sucker for human villains and natural disasters being the principal antagonists, which i think is why the first four books work so well? i think fear and light suffer from the gaiaphage taking control of the narrative, villain-wise, when i think it worked best when used sparingly. gaia is pure evil, nothing more. she’s fun to read about in her own way because she’s so villainously campy, but that’s kind of it. she’s not really interesting, imo.

i think the reason why i harp so much on the insufficient “humanity” of antagonists like caine and drake is because that’s the principal strength of books (lord of the flies, battle royale) in the “kids trapped in place and forced to survive” genre: what do the actions of the characters say about human nature? about society? about morality? in lord of the flies, the message conveyed is ultimately a bleak one: the kids all descend into savagery in one way or another, with the purest one of them all, simon (the jesus figure) being driven insane, and the intellectual (piggy) being murdered. the story is all about “the darkness in the human heart,” to paraphrase the last line of the book.

in battle royale, on the contrary, the message is ultimately one of hope. despite the characters living in a dystopian fascist society that sacrifices one class of students to a killing game, the main character shuya clings to the idea that he and his classmates can figure out an alternate way to survive the titular battle royale aside from murdering each other. his compassionate view of humanity is validated by the pov vignettes given to all his classmates. all of them are given distinct personalities; some are kind, like shuya and his allies noriko and shogo, and some are drake-esque sadists, while the majority fall somewhere in between (my personal favorite characters are the girls that team up with one another in order to protect themselves from possible sexual violence from the boys. they hole up in a lighthouse!). but all are tragic in the sense that they’re children thrust into an unfair and cruel situation. even then, though, the nobility of certain characters shines through.

for instance, there are two girls at the beginning of the game who are best friends and don’t want to kill anyone. they (foolishly or bravely) use a megaphone to call out to the other kids in hiding, asking if they can all band together. shuya and several other characters are tempted, but sadly the girls are both fatally shot soon after their announcement. they die in each other’s arms after affirming their friendship, tears in their eyes. shuya and several other kids are devastated by the girls’ deaths. while some more callous characters deride them as being stupid and naïve, the reader is ultimately meant to mourn their deaths and the lost potential of a class-wide alliance. they know that their enemy isn’t their classmates, but rather the fascist government that makes them kill each other in the first place.

anyway—tangent aside—i think those two aforementioned novels are really solid examples of the genre gone is in. gone has more of superhero vibe to it, given the focus on powers and mutations and paper-thin evil villains, but i almost think the way that’s executed almost detracts against the aforementioned “kids surviving, etc.” genre? like, that’s all about the messiness of morality and human nature and whatnot, and while superhero comics can weave that into their narratives (watchmen, the brat pack) those are usually deconstructions of the genre than straightforward examples of it. the superhero genre is usually morally black-and-white and really action-focused. this is why i think we get the strange tonal mixture of kids reacting realistically to the trauma of starving versus reacting fairly unrealistically when faced with brutal superpowered violence, such as when brianna decapitates drake like it’s nbd. or anything brianna does, really.

there’s a shift from the realistic to the unrealistic that’s fun, but tonally dissonant from each other. so there’s this sort of disconnect, at least for me. i sympathize greatly for astrid when she’s slapped by drake and forced to call little pete a slur, for instance, but how many times does drake or caine murder a kid in cold blood? at some point it gets...idk, old? as the violence gets more cartoony the less it interests me aside from morbid fascination, and there’s just so much of it. it gets desensitizing after a while. i think that’s why, even though i think it’s handled fairly believably in gone, i had a lot more trouble with the monster trilogy’s blend of absurdism (the animorphs-style mutations like dekka turning into a cat woman with medusa hair and another character turning into a praying mantis with super speed, etc.) vs. grimdark realism (ICE forcibly deports a character’s father, terrorist violence is a common theme, the san francisco bridge is destroyed, a baby boy is mutated into a giant fuzzy caterpillar and then gets blown up by the military—like this is budding dystopia-level dark and the narrative doesn’t seem to realize it). it just feels too heavy and too light at the same time. the contrast of tones does a disservice to both of them. idk what i’m saying let’s get back to your actual question lol

as for characters with villainous potential...hmmm. tbh i think astrid has villainous potential? i mean, i like the idea of her moral righteousness escalating in a way that makes her more morally gray. she’d have to probably latch onto more powerful kids in order to have any leverage over sam and the gang, given her powerlessness. maybe she could manipulate orc into being her bodyguard while she plots to usurp sam or something asgjsjk. i think she could be a powerful threat if she wanted to be! it’s fun to ponder. i heard of an au where she joins the human crew that i thought was sort of interesting!

what do you think, @goneseriesanalysis? any villains you wish had been dived into more, and/or characters with villainous potential you think would have been cool to explore?

[thanatosangels]

Would’ve Been

a Matthew Fairchild and Lucie Herondale oneshot

tagging @princesslucretia @churchthecatismyspiritanimal @booksandbeanbags @tyisthebestshadowhunter @simon-lewis-is-a-skinny-legend @truth-lies-hidden @lucieblckthorn @abigneignenn @fairchild-squad @cecilyfightwood @themostawesomehuman @nolu

The fire was roaring in the hearth of Matthew’s little flat. He sat on his sofa, draped in shabby blankets of orange and blue and green, with a book open on his lap and a glass of brandy in his hand. It occurred to him that he had been reading the same page over and over again, not really taking in the words that were dancing across the page, so he shut the book and walked over to the window to watch the outside world wander by. The street outside was a wash of grey-tinted watercolours as the rain fell in sheets, street lamps not long lit casting a ghostly halo of colour through the droplets chasing down the glass. He did not notice the small, hunched figure stumbling along the street towards his door, long brown hair flying wildly as she battled the wind. 

He did not notice much of anything at all, other than the fiery sweetness of the brandy he sipped, until there was a harsh rap at his door. He jumped, startled, some liquor sloshing onto the floor. “Damn,” He said to nobody in particular as he sat the glass down on the windowsill and opened his door.

There, on the doormat of his shabby-chic little midtown flat, was a very disheveled Lucie Herondale.

“Luce?” There was mud up to her ankles, mud splattered on the ripped skirts of her once-lilac dress, mud matted in her sodden hair which cascaded freely over her shoulder. He could see something dark - almost black - on the bodice of her dress but she hugged a pastel lemon shawl, one he knew was not her own, closely around herself so he could not get a good look. She was violently shivering, her teeth chattering, the knuckles of her small hands white as she clung to her shawl as if it were the only thing anchoring her to this world.

“M-Matthew...” She slurred, swaying slightly. “I don’t... I didn’t know where else to go...” 

She began to pitch to the right but Matthew caught her, moving with all the usual swiftness of a Shadowhunter, and she slumped against him, her head lolling against his shoulder. He was dimly aware that he was only in his shirtsleeves, dimly aware that he could feel the fall of her tears against his shoulder, dimly aware of the warmth radiating off her despite the dampness and her shivering, but mostly he was aware of the way she smelt. Lucie, whom the scent of lavender and ink and paper and books was as sure as the colour of her clear, blue eyes, smelt like gin.

A pang shot through his heart, dread spreading like a winter’s frost through his veins. He put his arm around her and helped her through the door, placing her in the comfortable, flowery armchair by the fire. She was still clinging the shawl, wet and dirty, and when Matthew tried to remove it so as to dry it by the fire, she shrank away from him and pulled it closer. 

He knelt down in front of her, his heart pounding. This was very, very wrong. “Lucie, are you drunk?” He spoke as one might to a scared animal or young child.

She gulped, but met his eyes with her own. They were too bright. “Yes.” Her voice was a barely audible whisper.

Although Matthew already knew, the shock of her admitting it still struck him painfully. Luce. Sweet, innocent, stubborn, brilliant Lucie. What had happened?

“Why?” He fought the tears that threatened to fall as he watched her turn her face towards the fire, a haunted look on her muddy, tearstained face. Her mouth remained in a hard line.

“Luce...” He begged. “What’s the matter?” He reached out a hand, wanting to take hers, but she did not remove them from the shawl. He clutched at her wrist instead.

She took a deep breath. He searched her face for an explanation as to why she’d do this to herself, but she shut her eyes and let her head fall onto the back of the chair as if it was too heavy for her to hold up.

His heart ached: he knew that feeling.

“Why do you drink, Matthew?” Her voice was thick but she asked the question with no malice. Only pure curiosity. Pure Lucie.  

“Because it keeps me entertaining.” He tried for a smile. He failed.

“I don’t believe that for a second.” Groggily, she lifted her head and looked down at him.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”

Something flickered behind her eyes, a profound sadness that Matthew had only ever seen reflected back at him in the mirror. “Oh but Matthew, you have no idea what I’d believe right now.”

Matthew broke the eye contact, instead staring at his hand still on her wrist. “I did something bad, something irredeemable.” He said flatly.

A delicate, scarred finger with blood and mud embedded under the fingernails lifted his chin, forcing Matthew to look directly into those Summer sky eyes once more. “Me too.” A small, sad smile played on her lips.

And then she let go of the shawl.

Blood. There was so much blood. It was dark and dried. One shoulder of her dress had been ripped, exposing her pale bare skin spattered crimson. It was on the intricate lacework of her dress, the white dyed a vivid red. There was a splatter in the shape of a hand print that started at her shoulder and smeared into violent nothingness.

Matthew jolted, his eyes widening, his breath catching in his throat and making him feel sick. He almost fell backwards into the fire. “Lucie! By the Angel, you need an iratze...” He moved his hand towards the mantle, where his stele was sitting, but she grabbed his wrist before he could retrieve it. He looked at her, fear painted across his face as obvious as the blood on her chest, but she simply shook her head.

“Not mine.” She breathed.

Matthew sat back on his heels, a sudden wave of horrible understanding crashing over him. He felt eerily calm. He noticed a strand of hair that was stuck to her bloody-splattered lip and he reached his hand up to remove it, the backs of his knuckles lingering slightly too long against her cheek. Her eyes fluttered shut and she turned towards him, so he splayed his fingers and held her face in his palm. There were tears trickling down her cheeks again, dripping over his fingers.

She opened her eyes, her hazy gaze not on Matthew but on the empty liquor bottles lined up by the door. Her voice was so small, so quiet, so quivering. “It would’ve been you...” were it not for the alcohol.

We would’ve been in love by now.

The words hung unspoken between them, hanging in the air like the world’s ugliest banner.

He felt his heart shatter, broken glass biting his chest. Tears glazed his vision. It hurt. It hurt so, so badly. It hurt like it hurt every time he set eyes on her, a dull throbbing ache in the very fibre of his being, amplified by a hundred. 

His voice shook, his tears dripped onto the colourful rug below him, his blonde hair fell into his eyes as he bowed his head.

“I know.”  He whispered.

And he did.

[angeltrapz]

for the “give me a character” meme! Eric, Adam, William, Mallick, Strahm, Rigg!!!!

YESS thank u!!!!

Eric:

How I feel about this character: That's my boy!!! <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uuuu okay. Adam, obviously, but concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Art, Lawrence, William, & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him & Rigg!!! That's his best friend!!! + he and Gibson in the Eric Lives AU!! (Gibson IS dating his best friend + recognizes that he's made the effort to change <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: You Understand This but the idea that he's irredeemable/deserved to die is complete and utter bullshit. This post that you made perfectly describes my feelings on that!!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Firstly that he. Y'know. Didn't die. But I would have loved to see any of his interactions with Hoffman? Obviously they knew each other + I like to think they have since they were in academy together, so there's gotta be some sort of history there, y'know?? I feel like he definitely cared about Eric so I would've been very interested to see more regarding that relationship! + one more big one: I wish he knew/was at least made aware of the fact that Daniel was ALIVE and okay. It kills me thinking abt how this man died not knowing if his child made it out.

Adam:

How I feel about this character: I loooove him he deserved better. I relate pretty heavily to him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe. Lawrence obviously!! Chainshipping is a HUGE comfort ship for me. BUT! Regarding the SAW polycule: Lawrence, Eric, William, Gibson, & Mallick!! + when concerning that alternative canon continuity we've been talking abt, Strahm. But only in that circumstance lol,,

My non-romantic OTP for this character: MANDY!!! In any AU where she's either not a disciple or abandoned her apprenticeship, I firmly believe that he and Amanda would be best friends. Mean gay/lesbian solidarity siblings who would fight tooth and nail for each other + who get each other on a level that not many others can. Pamela also!! Along w Mandy I like to think they talk about their experiences being trans a lot + just bitching w each other lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character: IDK how unpopular this actually is but I 100% believe that Adam would never become a disciple in any capacity, ESP not of his own accord. I genuinely think he'd rather die. That's just not something I can see him doing in any circumstance.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish someone had gotten him out of the bathroom :( And in an AU where he lives I hope someone tells him what a bastard Zep was!! No one made that dude hold a gun to Diana's head and listen to her heartbeat what the FUCK was that!!

William:

How I feel about this character: He's such a sweetheart I love him,, <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Lawrence & Adam <3 in the polycule though this includes Eric & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: He and Pamela obviously!! His sister is his best friend and they're there for each other 100%.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Much like Eric I don't think he deserved to die/that he's completely irredeemable... he fights so hard to save everyone and is utterly devastated when he can't. He's willing to hurt himself to save others (nearly dislocating his shoulders trying to keep both Addy and Allen, burning himself with the steam for Debbie, etc.) and it's like. John is always talking about how it can't be personal but it seems pretty fucking personal here!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: The fact that nobody saw how hard he fought for his coworkers + the sacrifices he made for them upsets me to no end. That was intentional. John didn't want Tara + Brent (or Pamela for that matter!) to see him as human and that fucking bothers me!! So basically I just wish that they could've seen it via camera like literally almost every trap victim gets in some capacity!!

Mallick:

How I feel about this character: Yet another character I relate to wayyy too much <33 I love him...

All the people I ship romantically with this character: BRIT!!! + concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Eric, William, & Lawrence!! (Art maybe too,,)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like to think he and Laura would've gotten along actually? I feel like that would be a good, healthy friendship. And I do like the idea of he and Brit like this too!! Other than that maybe Mandy? I feel like they could relate to each other a little bit, help each other when they're feeling brainweird,, (Mallick n Mandy: havers of Symptoms Disorder <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: Again I don't know if it's unpopular, persay, but uh. I don't think the Mallick we meet in V would willingly sit and listen to Bobby Dagen in 3D. He'd hate that dude. My take on it is that Brit didn't survive V (although I think read somewhere that the crew confirmed she survived?) and that's why he was there: because he'd lost the one true connection he'd made in god knows how long. That's rlly the only way I see him sitting thru Dagen's bullshit lmao.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wanted him to see Brit again,, and I just wanted to see him more in general tbh, esp because he makes a reappearance where so many prior Jigsaw survivors do not. I would've liked to see him interact with Simone given that they both lost a limb/nearly a limb (in Mallick's case). This is related to that, but I also wish the evidence of the 10 Pints trap wasn't just. A tiny scar? I HC that it took his whole hand, so.

Strahm:

How I feel about this character: Ohhh my beloved. Why didn't they give you a better narrative it would've been SO interesting. I love you though <3

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly? Still super fond of Gibson/Strahm in a scenario where things are different,, I've written quite a bit abt them and kinda want to again but if I do it'll probably be. Not for a while + VASTLY different. but recent additions have been Hoffman (I used to. not understand Stroffman whatsoever. now I Get It) and Adam!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: PEREZ!!! I've always thought of them as best friends since I first saw IV, and I do think he genuinely cared about her - quite a lot, actually, esp given how devastated he was when she was injured. They hang out at each other's apartments all the time + get coffee regularly. I love them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think he's a dumbass?? I don't know if that's unpopular. I think that he's IMPULSIVE and that it gets him into trouble, but Strahm has always struck me as incredibly intelligent + has a good moral compass for the most part?? I mean, he figured out there was a second apprentice (second as far as he knows, anyway) helping with traps just by examining Kerry's crime scene. I think he's VERY smart. He just acts quickly + sometimes that means there's not much planning for if things go south. (I DO agree that showing up to the packing plant w/out backup was dumb though,, doesn't mean he DESERVED the Water Cube but y'know)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: It's not really mentioned if he does in canon, but I wish he'd been made aware of the fact that Perez was alive,, it bothers me that he might've died not knowing she was okay. The other thing is that I wish he'd survived V!!! I think it would've been WAY more narratively satisfying for him to kinda follow in Tapp's footsteps as a vigilante Jigsaw hunter. (That's why I love yr takes on him so much!!)

Rigg:

How I feel about this character: He has such a big heart. He cares so so much. I wish ppl talked about him more :(

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gibson!!! And uhh Hoffman, but they're exes,, but! In a scenario I'm kind of going over in my head, maaaybe Adam... the basics though is that he searches the Nerve Gas House independently and somehow finds the Bathroom following II, and He is the one to rescue Adam. Very tentative abt that one though bc I'm still working it out lol. (Possibly Eric/Adam/Rigg???)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eric!!! His best friend <3 I think he's also pretty close with Kerry, though I think he hangs out w her independent of Eric given,, the messy ex situation. I think he probably got along well with Fisk too!! OH and I think he and Sing would've been good friends as well. The chaos of a Rigg/Gibson/Sing friend trio...

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mmm I don't know that I have one? Other than maybe like. I understood why he went through the door. He knew Eric was on the other side; he just didn't know the circumstances or what would happen if he went through. All he knew was that he was that much closer to someone he's been trying to find/rescue for MONTHS + someone he cares for deeply. Of COURSE he went through. He breaks my heart ugh,,,

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish he hadn't even been tested!!!! His one flaw was that he cared about ppl and somehow John saw that as something he needed to fix!!! Like yes I do agree that it was eating away at him and the obsession might've been unhealthy, but that's two of his closest friends dude!! I don't think he deserved to be tested for that. I don't. He just wanted to help ppl and keep them safe. I absolutely despise how Rigg was treated dkjflkdf!!!!

[agw14]

MAJOR SPOLIERS FOR BOOK 3 BELOW! DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE FINALE!

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Okay, so I have a theory: Gohms are part of the train crew. I know, I know, everything about them says otherwise, from their agression to the fact they suck people's life out of their bodies, but hear me out. First off, why would the train be somewhere with such dangerous creatures? Its true we don't know a lot about the train, like who the engineer is or where it is, but I feel like there are 2 possibilities for why it is in the wasteland: either the engineer is from there or it is a pocket dimension designed to hold the train. With either of these options, it wouldn't make sense for the Gohms to be there naturally: the engineer proabaly wouldn't be able to survive long in the wasteland with the Gohms around if they are from there, and if it is an artifical world, why create the Gohms in the first place?

Also, back in B1E8 when Atticus is turned into a Gohm...how does that happen? Again, two possibilites: either Atticus was originally a Gohm and the blast reset his programming or the Gohm had their own programming orb. For sakes and purposes, lets say the latter is true; if it is, why program such a dangerous creature for the train?

My guess: they were made to keep order on the train, almost as if they were the original stewards. As we see in the show, Gohms only attack people when they start to break the rules or become irredeemable, i.e. Tulip leaving the train and Simon...well being Simon. I think that maybe whenever a passeneger isn't learning their lesson, thats when they attack and suck out their "life-force". Why do I use quotation marks? Beause I also think this isn't actually their life force.

What if that force is actually the equivalent of "I need you to return to your seat." Here's what I think happens: the Gohm sucks whatever out of the passeneger. The time it takes to turn someone to ash depends on how bad they are on the train; for example, Simon went pretty quickly while I swear that Gohm from Book 1 was on Tulip the exact same time. Then whenever a person is turned to ash, it is actually resetting them to where they first came on the train with only their memories up to getting onboard. That way whenever someone becomes too far gone, i.e. Simon, they aren't just killed; they are given another chance. Because isn't that what the train is about? Getting another chance to become better?

TL;DR: Gohms reset passenegers once they become too far gone

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 13: Star Trek Beyond

Some attempted thoughts on Star Trek Beyond.

So first it was bad lol. It is the worst. I thought maybe it would be less the worst than I had previously thought but it really, really is just irredeemably bad.

Trying to keep up with what was actually happening and talk in the group chat was too difficult and I now feel very exhausted lol. And I’m not even sure what I watched.

I liked Jaylah a lot, including her back story, characterization, “house,” traps, and cool mirror tricks.

I also like Kirk in that emergency uniform with the jacket unzipped.

That’s it! That’s all I liked.

In the past I’ve also said I liked the Spock and Bones parts but I honestly wasn’t a fan of them either this time around!

None of the characters felt IC and none of the relationships felt true or were compelling. Which is particularly egregious given that the alleged theme was strength in unity.

The movie was especially lacking in K/S content or even K & S interaction, which obviously didn’t please me. And it’s definitely the worst Kirk characterization I’ve ever seen. There’s no excuse for that either because it’s halfway through the 5YM, which means he should be pretty close to TOS Kirk--yes, he has a different set of experiences, so there’s going to be some variation, but there’s comparatively less excuse for a radically different characterization than in STXI and STID. They should have had Shatner read the script and make notes lol because whatever else you might say about him he KNOWS Captain Kirk.

Like, he (Kirk) lacked humor and charm and, often, confidence. He had moments when he was very smart and moments when he had a commanding presence. But he had just as many moments when he was whiny or bored and his Captain’s log??? I deserve financial compensation for every time I’ve listened to that. Bored of space?? No, this man is bored when he’s stuck on Earth. He stagnates in desk jobs. He is an adventurer and explorer before he’s ANYTHING else; if you don’t get that, you don’t need to be writing Star Trek.

Also, as I have frequently complained, I’m tired of him having no internal conflict or emotional complexity past his father issues. First reboot movie: dealing with his dead father’s memory and his step-father’s abuse. Fine, that makes sense for how they set up the AU. Second reboot movie: entirely motivated by the need for Manly Vengeance upon the person who killed his father figure. And for this redundant story line (in many sense) we had to lose Pike? Third reboot movie: you’d think he’d finally be ready to move on to other conflicts but actually no this time he’s sad about his birthday and having a longer life span than his...you guessed it!! father!! Yet again.

What else has ever motivated him? Legitimate question.

The destruction of the Enterprise was truly horrific. Long, boring, unwarranted, and without any emotional punch. As if it were just any ship! No, she’s a character in her own right and she’s not to be sacrificed like that but please tell me again how Simon Pegg is a true fan who brought the franchise back to its roots?

B said he did like that they split up the crew into unusual units but I have mixed feelings about it. I don’t entirely disagree, but I don’t think they did a lot that was interesting with any of those separated units. Uhura and Sulu are a cool pair (but this would have been a good opportunity to include Sulu’s semi-canonical crush on Uhura but whatever... a different rant) and they almost did some interesting stuff with them. There were glimmers of a caper in that story line and times when I could tell they were straining especially hard to make Uhura, their Sole Female Main--now that they cut out Rand, Chapel, and even Carol Marcus--into something Feminist and Interesting. But it didn’t quite gel for me. Like, Uhura would be having almost interesting dialogue with the villain and holding her own...and then she loses track of her colleague and has to watch that person die, thus undercutting everything she just said about unity and seeming to prove the villain’s point. Is she competent or not?

Bones and Spock are a pair I care about and like but again I think their canonical relationship in TOS is more interesting than STB showed. I personally read them as like...reluctant best friends who originally just had one person in common, and then realized they also like each other too, but they’ll never really say it. They understand each other but pretend not to. They have fun with the barbs they throw at each other. They both deeply love Jim but in different ways. They enjoy their intellectual debates. (That’s one thing that was definitely missing from them here! The intellectual debates!) So again, there was something there but not enough.

And Kirk and Chekov just happened to land near each other; nothing was done with that relationship per se. They really aren’t people who have much of a relationship in TOS so there’s not a lot to work off of but then on the other hand there IS an opportunity to create something new. Maybe I’m being too harsh and too vague but it just didn’t gel for me. The only specific K and C moment I remember was that supremely un-funny joke about Kirk’s aim as he sets off the “wery large bomb.”

But like there are possibilities.. they’re both pretty horny and Chekov is a whiz kid and Kirk is also very smart and has always been smart... Like in other words people Chekov’s age don’t end up on the bridge crew, in either ‘verse, without the Captain’s say, so even though he’s TOS!Spock’s and AOS!Scotty’s protege, Kirk is important to his life. Something with that maybe??

I’m upset that Spock’s individual story line was about whether or not he should go off and make baby Vulcans because, again as I have complained many times before, that was a conflict he faced and resolved in ten minutes two movies ago, and it doesn’t make sense to me for him to bring it up again now just because the Ambassador is dead. Like... the Ambassador told him to stay in Starfleet!! “Ah, yes, I will honor him by doing precisely the opposite of what he wanted me to do.”

Also--if they had made his motivation different or gone into it more, I would have been more into it. Make it about New Vulcan! Say there’s news from New Vulcan that it’s not doing well. Or what if T’Pring got in contact with him? Or what if we used this as an excuse to bring in Sarek?

This is part of a larger point for me which is that STXI set up a really cool AU and STID tried to do something with it--a little hit or miss, but it tried--and instead of pushing even more at the AU and developing it more and doing more with it... STB just ignored it! Was that part of what Paramount was warning about with making it “not too Star Trek-y?” Was it SUPPOSED to be a movie you could watch without having seen the last two? If so they did succeed but like.. .why? They made the supremely ballsy move of blowing up a founding Federation planet two movies ago and now they’ve just forgotten about that and all the reverberations that would necessarily have?

But of course we got a call back to Kirk being a Beastie Boys fan so.... Guess it was Deep all along.

We all three agreed that the core story of this film was potentially interesting but could have been done as a 50-some minute episode of a TV series rather than a whole-ass 2 hour movie. First off, cutting or cutting down the action sequences would have shaved off half an hour easily.

I’m frustrated in large part because there are certain things that are interesting here. I do like the concept of the crew being pulled on to an alien planet by a ship of former Federation crew, from the early days of the Federation/deep space flight, who were presumed missing but are somehow still alive because they have turned into aliens/used alien tech to prolong life, and who have also captured other aliens, like Jaylah, for the main crew to interact with. All of that was cool.

I would even be okay with these old Federation crew being villains but I don’t think that’s necessary or even the most interesting take.

But...first of all, as my mom pointed out, Krall was basically Nero in his illogical motivations: feeling aggrieved because someone who couldn’t help him didn’t help him and then just maniacally wanting revenge. It made more sense to me with Nero in a way. Maybe that was because he was better characterized, maybe it was because his anger was more personal (the loss of his wife), maybe--probably--it was because he was angry at Spock and Spock had actually promised to help, so there was some kernel of logic in his sense of betrayal, even if it was out of proportion etc. Also, Nero’s mania was portrayed as mania--we were all supposed to recognize that the strength of his emotion was warranted but his logic was deeply flawed. I think we were supposed to think Krall had some kinda... real criticism of the Federation, but in fact he doesn’t! He’s wrong! So like if he’d been angry with the Federation for abandoning him but the narrative and the other characters explicitly recognize that he’s wrong--the Federation tried but he was just doing something very dangerous and he recognized that danger on signing on--that might have been more palatable to me.

I’m not sure I’m making sense here entirely or explaining myself as well as I could.

I just don’t entirely get Krall’s beef with the Federation. I don’t get that whole “being a soldier and having conflict makes you strong and having people you can rely on and connections and community makes you weak.” That seems pretty obviously false. It also doesn’t really seem, not that I’m an expert, but particularly in line with military ethos either.

BUT the idea that he had a life that was comfortable to him as a soldier and then the Federation comes in and forms Starfleet and says, actually, we’re going to pull back on the soldiering and up the diplomacy and the exploration and the science--yeah, I could see that. I DO think Starfleet is military but even if you must insist it’s not, it’s clearly based on and formed from the military, and it has certain military functions. So obviously the first people to join or be folded into Starfleet probably were more explicitly military.

So he’s one of those people. Now he’s supposed to be a scientist and a diplomat and an explorer and he doesn’t like that. He’s given this very prestigious and interesting mission and jumps at it. Starfleet warns him, you might go beyond where we can reach, we might not be able to help you. That’s fine. But then when his ship is stranded and he is lost, he gets angry--maybe somewhat irrationally, but understandably--why?? Why did the Federation do this to him? What was even the point? When he put himself in danger before, at least he knew why. But just flying around space for the hell of it, and this is the cost? So that’s what creates his anger.

I thin this could be tied into Kirk’s diplomacy at the beginning--if the scene were written to not be a comedy bit where Kirk looks like an incompetent buffoon and is completely disrespectful the whole time. He’s good at this job and we should say it. But we could emphasize that this IS a diplomatic mission often, just as often as it’s a military or scientific mission. Maybe we could include other bits of their missions, too, to play up the variety of things they do and roles they play.

Another thing I think could be interesting, going back to my point about Spock, Vulcan, and using the first two movies and expanding on the world building... what if Spock wanted to leave Starfleet for better, more well-defined reasons, and we used that? Paralleled the two? Connected the two?

Because I think Vulcan in the AOS verse is very interesting and the movies didn’t do nearly enough with it. First, we have the Romulans showing up way earlier, at least visibly: in TOS, no one knew what they looked like or their connection to Vulcans until Spock is in his late 30s. In AOS, it happens not long after he’s born. So he’s growing up probably with more anti-Vulcan racism floating around the Federation. THEN Vulcan is destroyed. Now it has nothing and it needs to rely on the rest of the Federation, which must be both humbling and frustrating to many Vulcans, on top of the extreme tragedy of losing everything. Most of their population, a lot of their history, their manufacturing, their scientific facilities, their resources, their animals, literally whatever else you can think of that a planet has--all gone. Now all of the survivors have lived some period on an alien planet, by definition, and they’re probably very dependent on the Federation not just to set up the new colony, but to replace all of the resources--natural and Vulcan-made--that they lost. And they’re a founding Federation member, Earth’s first contact. They’re especially important. And now they’re weak, and reliant on others.

So maybe Spock, early on, hears from New Vulcan and they’re not doing well. Maybe we hear from Sarek or T’Pring (...I’d just like to see reboot T’Pring). Maybe it’s not about, or just about, having children, but about being from an important and ancient family, and being seen as a hero for his part in the Narada mission, that makes him want to go and help rebuild their government (taking his mother’s place perhaps? she was on the High Council) or their scientific facilities, or the VSA, or their space travel capabilities--you know Vulcan had space ships of their own, outside of Federation ships. This would be the perfect place to showcase that tension between wanting to be independent--out of pride, out of fear, even--and needing help, because Vulcan could not survive without the Federation, probably less than 10 years out from the original planet’s destruction.

And then you feed it back into Krall.

So I could see like... well the tension, and then Krall comes in, and he's angry that the Federation "abandoned" him, but we actually explicitly address this. Maybe Spock gets to interact with him and say "I get it. You had a life and a mission and a purpose that was comfortable for you. Then the Federation came in and changed everything. A lot of my people are also feeling upset for similar reasons. But here's why actually you're wrong."

So anyway as you can see I’m smarter and more interesting than Simon Pegg.

I also hated, speaking of writers of this movie, the gay Sulu thing and HEAR ME OUT on this. It’s homophobic. His husband doesn’t have a name? Might not be his husband at all? Looks like he could be his nanny or his brother? As B said “at least grab his butt or something.” That was the most sanitized, no-homo depiction of a gay person I’ve ever seen. He’s gay (see, progressives and queers! gay! you like that right!) but DON’T WORRY STRAIGHTS--he’s in a monogamous relationship and has a child, he’ll show nothing but the most platonic physical affection with his male significant other, and the plot point will be so minuscule you’ll need a microscope to detect it. Also, we’ll throw in a no homo joke about two male characters not wanting to hug and we’ll make sure Kirk and Spock interact as little as possible, because we know they give off Big Queer Vibes every time they’re together.

Yes the last point is a little unfair but can you blame me for being angry about all the “look how hip to the times we are” back-patting that went on in 2016 when canonical bisexual Kirk is RIGHT THERE and we could have had ex-boyfriend Gary Mitchell instead of Unnamed Nanny??

Also Sulu is a hella random choice because again, like... he may not have had an s.o. in TOS but nor was there any indication he was gay. So it seems a LITTLE like they picked him because (1) his original actor is gay and gay people can’t play straight people duh so probably Sulu was Gay All Along I mean did you not get vibes???; and/or (2) asexual Asian stereotypes preclude giving Sulu any kind of love interest, male or female, that is actually... sexual, outright romantic, anything.

Anyway I can’t remember if I had any other thoughts, but I’ve said quite enough I think.

I miss Kirk so much... real Kirk... even my version of AOS Kirk who is probably not even characterized that well but at least I worked with love!!!

[wazafam]

When most people think of anti-hero or villain teams in the DC Universe the immediate group that comes to mind is the Suicide Squad. It's certainly a novel concept: A bunch of street-level villains getting bombs stuck in their head and sent out on the kind of missions that no one else is crazy enough or desperate enough to attempt. It's resulted in some pretty classic comics too. No disrespect to Rick Flagg and company, but DC's got a much better villain team on its roster; a gang of damaged or outright deranged misfits who take on some of the most twisted quests ever to pop up in the DCU, that's when they're not hooking up stabbing each other in the back. Behold, the Secret Six in all their unstable, lovable glory.

While a TV adaption was once optioned by CBS, the Secret Six has always been an obscure title. The team originally started as a spy comic of sorts in the 1960s, followed by a reboot in the 80s. The most beloved and interesting version of the team came to form with writer Gail Simone's Villains United mini-series, created as part of the Countdown to Infinite Crisis tie-ins.

Related: The Suicide Squad's Biggest Mystery is Finally Explained By DC

Led by a disguised Lex Luthor under the moniker of Mockingbird, the team consisted the Suicide Squad's own Deadshot, and a cadre of D-list villains and new creations like Catman, Cheshire, Knockout, Ragdoll, a random Parademon, and Scandal Savage. While many team-members would be killed off over time or switched with more high-profile characters, Catman, Deadshot, Scandal, and Ragdoll remain mainstays of the team through all of Simone's initial run on the series. While they initially started as villains bent on world domination, in truth, the Six are a lot closer to outlaws or mercenaries. They take on various jobs, some heroic and some outright despicable. Really anything that puts meat on the table. It should also be worth noting that they're all a bunch of weirdos.

Villains United proved to be lightning in a bottle that would spawn an entire run. The series about a group of oddball characters that don't fit in with heroes or villains struck a perfect balance between black comedy and character-driven drama. Every character in the series gets such a unique and fitting characterization. Deadshot is a pornstache personified; Floyd Lawton has never been as skeezy or charming as he is under Simone's pen. Ragdoll is essentially a violent contortionist version of  Dean Craig Pelton from Community. Scandal Savage is the badass lesbian ninja and daughter of Vandal Savage, who serves as team leader and voice of reason throughout the series. Lastly, Catman is probably the most remarkable character on the team and the closest thing to the protagonist of the series. Before Secret Six, Thomas Blake was written as an overweight loser who was eaten by a talking Gorilla in Brad Meltzer's Green Arrow series. Simone rewrote the character from the ground up and created one of the most layered and cool Batman knock-off's ever. He also snarls like a cat when he fights.

Related: Harley Quinn Claims Deadshot's Power in DC's Suicide Squad

Apart from the main four team members, Bane and an immortal banshee named Jeannette round out the team for the rest of the series. While Jeannette is simultaneously a frightening and charming character with a unique backstory, Simone's take on Bane is one of the best. Secret Six sees Bruce Wayne's greatest foe trying to turn a new leaf. He's kicked his steroid habit and is acting with utter honor, Bane also immediately tries to be an upstanding father figure to any distressed young woman he sees, resulting in a hilarious running gag throughout the series.

Secret Six is a mature book in every sense of the word. It's packed to the brim with sex and violence, to the point where it's absolutely incredible that DC allowed some of the stuff in the book to happen. Catman bites a man's face off, there's a sex scene between Mad Hatter and one of his hats, and almost everything that comes out of Ragdoll's mouth is jaw-droppingly obscene. But apart from all the blood, and bad words that usually get things pulled off TV, Secret Six features intricate character development and some very grown-up storylines. They find themselves rescuing a group of enslaved Amazons (after they're hired to guard the prison of course). Catman's infant son is kidnapped by a group of psychotic criminals, leading him onto a bloodthirsty rampage. Scandal grapples with the death of her girlfriend for a large part of the series. Then of course there's that trip to hell.

Related: Batman: Bane Just Returned in the Last Way Fans Expected

"The Secret Six goes to Hell" may sound like the title of a schlocky horror movie, but it reads like something far different. Each character comics to the realization that they're damned no matter what. While Deadshot and Ragdoll aren't particularly shocked about their own fates, it's a surprise for the rest of the team. For Bane in particular, it's heartbreaking. The series had served as a moving redemption story for the Man Who Broke the Bat, discovering that he won't truly change is a pretty haunting conclusion. However, he's since proven to be pretty irredeemable.

While there are lot's of very dark moments in Secret Six, the tone of the book is never dreary or bleak. A slice-of-life feeling is prevalent in the series that is absent from the bombastic, multiverse shattering world of superhero comics. It's not uncommon to see members of the Six eating dinner together or chilling out in a hot tub. One issue sees Catman pick up a tub of ice cream for a depressed Scandal Savage. Deadshot and Jeanette end up in a fairly healthy and supportive relationship together. And speaking of romance, the other members of the team set Bane up on a date and it's as hilarious as it sounds. Refreshing little asides like this differentiate the book even further from standard superhero fare.

Related: The Real Reason DC's CATMAN Has Basically Disappeared

There will never be another team like the Six. No other series from the Big Two will ever be packed with this much humor, tragedy, and outright weirdness. Where else can you see a joke like Catman transform into a compelling character or Vandal Savage get stabbed in the neck with some chopsticks by his own daughter? Where else can you see Bane try to make his team-mates go on a diet or Deadshot get in a Western style duel with Deathstroke? And on that note, there's even a one-off issue that sees an Old West version of the team, and it's awesome too. Gail Simone created one of the  ultimate villain comic book teams. A unique series about a group of terrible people who love each other taking down worse people that don't. The Secret Six is one of the funniest and most badass teams in all of comics, and they don't need to be implanted with bombs in their necks to do it either.

Next: Suicide Squad Could Be Adding The Perfect Batman Villain

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